#fantine deserved better

[tablestars]

[stupid-lemon-eater]

i read fantine's descent for the first time last night - i had fallen behind on les mis by 10 days so i read it all in one go when i was meant to be going to sleep, and at several points i just had to Stop and stare across my dark bedroom at the mirror and the faint outline of my face lit up by my ipad and just Breathe for a second.

the thing i found most interesting while reading it was just how horrifying it was. as mentioned in the post i just reblogged, fantine had to choose every single time to carve herself away, to give up more and more of herself until she was unrecognisable, and she did it all out of hope and love for her daughter who she doesn't even know was being mistreated, that all her sacrifice was doing was lining thernardier's pockets while cosette still suffered.

and that would be interesting enough as is, but the thing that struck me the most while reading is how all of the actual horror of fantine's fate is stripped from her in adaptations (or at least in the musical/movie) in favour of the lurid idea of her having to go into sex work. the book itself treats fantine going into sex work as another tragic loss on effectively the same level as cutting off her hair, learning how to live in winter with no heat nor light, losing her modest lodgings for an uncomfortable attic with no bedding, her persistent illness or removing her front teeth — it's, "Let us sell what is left!" — what's one more loss on top of everything else, right?

(one could even make an argument that the tooth removal was treated as the most horrifying part of fantine's descent - it certainly was for me, as someone who had two wisdom teeth removed recently! the imagery of her bloody smile with the hole where her front teeth should be lit up by candlelight is definitely one that's going to haunt me.)

but in adaptations, we don't see that slow chipping away of personhood, of identity, of belongings and comfort. it's kicked out of the workhouse - hair cut off - prostitute - dead. bamatabois is changed from an arrogant, wealthy asshole with nothing better to do with his time than torment those less fortunate than him for the crime of merely existing to a potential customer who gets angry when fantine turns him down. by adding that dynamic to their interaction it softens bamatabois' cruelty, makes it less about an act of completely unprovoked dehumanisation and, well, cruelty against someone vulnerable that was answered by that person snapping and lashing out.

bamatabois in the book did not just target fantine because she was a sex worker, but also because her hair was cut, because she had no front teeth, because of how she dressed, how she behaved - in short, she was an acceptable target.

it feels as though the people adapting the novel don't understand that the tragedy and horror of fantine's fate was not the fact that she had to sell sex for money, but the fact that she had to give up everything of herself to the point where she was an unrecognisable wretch drinking brandy to keep the misery at bay with the only thing keeping her alive being her love for cosette. even the tooth removal, when it is adapted, is changed to her back teeth, making fantine's loss less visible and more palatable, and is oft ignored in favour of focusing on fantine's work as a sex worker in a way the book never does, not realising that the sex work was a symptom, not the disease.

[squish-e]

reading les mis letters: 1.3.2

interesting thing in this chapter: the boys as having "loved", "adored", "idolised", and "had" respectivley. guess who gets the "had"

[charleshyde]

How could I be so stupid to ever think that a book that literally calls its characters "miserables" would ever bring me anything but depression and pain??????

[xmoriartea]

SVSSS!Sibling Transmigration AU

Based so very loosely on this glorious art by @nibbelraz

Airplane transmigrates into the youngest infant son of the Shang family (and God damn he deserves better than this System he is their god!! Daddy Airplane?? Heard of him?? These people should not be changing his damn diaper hello??)

Shang Qinghua is already a young disciple when he visits home and meets his little brother for the first time and does no one else see there is something... off about this kid?

He makes regular trips home afterwards, eventually using An Ding logistics to find reasons to be near his hometown more frequently (and really does no one else see this kid is weird?)

Bby!Airplane is just too smart. SQH is convinced he saw the kid make eye contact with him once when he caught him stealing a dumpling behind their mother's back and it was like looking into the eyes of a demon who'd gut him if he snitched and not a human toddler

It doesn't get better as Airplane gets older and SQH hears him muttering about 1. things he shouldn't know at all regarding the sect when he thinks SQH isn't listening and 2. absolute nonsense (what System has done you so wrong didi?? you are four??)

Before Airplane is old enough to reasonably join the sect, SQH brings him back to the mountain anyway. He is fairly certain his brother is a seer and if that's the case, he's keeping the little welp close at hand

Airplane infinitely regrets how much bullshit he made An Ding deal with to ""hand wave lazy writing"" (shut up peerless cucumber!! he was writing porn not project management!!) but even just watching SQH run himself ragged over the peak has bby him exhausted (no wonder he ratted y'all out to the king yeesh)

He spends his early years as a disciple just following SQH and sometimes nudging his gege into record shattering discoveries because SQH will pat his head when he realizes and take him down the mountain for noodles afterwards (gg easy)

Airplane is a proper disciple in his own right in his teens when his notes and his story get jumbled in a way that has him tripping into one of his shixiongs when he hears the rumors - Head Disciple SJ returned to the mountain with a little brother (record screech glass shattering huh???)

Meanwhile, Shen Yuan transmigrated into Shen Jiu's unnamed younger half-brother After finding stability at the sect, Shen Jiu looks into his birth mother, knowing she sold him off when he was a child What he finds in Airplane's unwritten notes is a Fantine-Cosette backstory where his mother, a courtesan, gave him away to a good family after he was born. She sent them regular payments to ensure his care, but only found out when she was pregnant with SY that they had sold SJ off and were pocketing her money Unable to find SJ and unwilling to risk SY, she and the other courtesans raised SY within the brothel SY transmigrates into the body of a child at his sick mother's bedside with a twisted sense of deja vu having just vacated his own deathbed He doesn't know where he is, but if the orphan protagonist can make it to the sect, so can he right? (Transmigrator Halo? System? System why are you laughing??) He's barely into his second teens when SJ finds him. It takes no time at all after learning the truth for SJ to demand SY's guardianship and whisk him back to Qing Ding (See System? He DOES have a Transmigrator Halo, even if it is attached to the scum villain) SY is honestly shocked by how concerned(?) SJ is when packing his meager possessions. (No Jiu-ge (ew) no one has ever harmed him or touched him wtf would make you think they had?? He's baby??) It takes some time for glaciers to melt and for SJ to let SY in, but SY was raised around kind jiejies who taught him to be better than their worst clients and SJ feels safe around this little brat in a way he can't explain (SJ has had SY for five minutes but if anything happens to him SJ is taking out the entire mountain and then himself) YQY has NO idea how to react when SJ first returns with his brother, but he doesn't hesitate to smooth the way for SY's discipleship and watches from afar as SJ begins to finally let someone in, even if it's not him

SQH keeps telling Airplane he needs to work on his muttering to himself, that it's going to get him in trouble (bro you don't even know) but for once it's in his favor because SY overhears him just enough while YQY is sorting his shit out on arrival and suddenly they're just two spidermen pointing at each other on the peak

Cue the shenanigans of two hometown boys who have no bearing on the plot at all and are just along for the ride while their siblings handle the peaks. Anytime Qing Ding and An Ding need to work together on missions, these two volunteer and confuse the hell out of their martial siblings every step of the way

SJ does not trust the little logistics rat anywhere near his didi and glowers like an alley cat anytime Airplane is around (SQH is right, ofc. His brother IS weird and SJ does not trust it)

SQH meanwhile takes note of his weird didi's sudden and first friendship with SY and immediately starts keeping tabs on this kid because clearly Airplane's seerhood has steered him to SY for a reason, must keep note

The first time LQG makes any sort of fuss about SJ going to a brothel, SY forgets everything he's learned at the sect as Little Brother Mode™ activates to defend not only SJ but his jiejies too. (Fists are thrown. Hair is pulled. He might have bitten his shixiong, he can't say. He sort of blacked out for a minute there) Needless to say there isn't a second time and LQG has an hour long argument with his shizun about trying to poach SY for Bai Zhan peak while nursing a black eye (Airplane just side eying the GREMLIN that transmigrated here like bro wtf)

Before LBH even steps foot on the mountain, both their Systems ping about the incoming protagonist and it's not that they, you know, forgot about the story but they were distracted. Between finding each other and actually weirdly coming to care for these NPCs they... lost track of time

But the System pings and LBH enters the scene and SY refuses to let Airplane's work repeat itself (we're making your notes canon bro stfu and follow my lead. (what lead??? what plan??) I'm working on it!!)

It's a 50/50 crap shoot if SYs favoritism of bby!Binghe endears him to SJ or spikes up the resentment, but SY refuses to let harm come to LBH or for SJ to become the scum villain (someone is yelling, it might be SJ, it might be SY, it might be Binghe who doesn't want Shizun and Shixiong fighting over him)

On the other side of the plot, SQH is still a little snitch, even with his didi's visions guiding him to unprecedented success - but it's more than betraying the sect, more than wanting power and recognition. Seers are insanely powerful, highly sought after. Bringing Airplane to the sect protected him for awhile but SQH can't let him become a target. So when the OG meets MBJ, all his calculations come to a single unfortunate answer: throw your lot in with the biggest fish to protect Airplane (no one else can understand how weird his brother is because if they do his brother will end up dead)

Flash forward to when Airplane is squinting at his brother wearing fur collars year round, always running a little bit chilly for unknown reasons but refusing to see MQF about it. Airplane insists on SQH letting him check his meridians if he won't see MQF and SQH relents, puts his wrist in Airplane's hand, and squawks like a goddamn chicken when Airplane yanks his arm and tugs down his collar to reveal the mark of MBJ on his collarbone and SQH is once again met with that dead eyed 'bro do not fuck with me' stare

SQH does not question how Airplane knows, he just insists on Airplane staying far far away from MBJ (he might work for the demon, but he certainly does not trust him)

Of course Airplane defies all reason and knows the exact secret rendezvous point SQH uses (he did not suffer puberty twice to be denied seeing his most precious creation in the flesh, gege) and is spotted spying on the spy almost instantly by MBJ who is just holding him by his scruff and looking between a wide eyed Airplane and a barely-restrained-panicked peak lord like 'why oh why are there two of them'

Cue a full stand off between a demon and peak lord, ice knives at SQH's throat, a blade hovering at MBJ's heart, and Airplane just held like a kitten between them like fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck that SOMEHOW ends with MBJ rationalizing 'ah this weird mouse is important to my viper of a spy - if I want to keep the viper loyal, I will protect this mouse'

Which throws the Sheng brothers into a mess that neither of them know how to deal with. SQH thinks he needs to continue to be excessively useful to keep Airplane safe. Airplane can't let MBJ know he's his brother's best source or the demon might cut out the middle man. (Meanwhile somewhere MBJ just out here planning to court this weird little mouse to tie SQH's loyalties to him)

Whatever circumstances causes the Abyss plotline to trigger, SY 500% throws himself in after Binghe leaving SJ partially feral because his didi is in danger, Airplane CONCERNED, and SQH just casually like 'oh that's why my brother was interested in him, interesting' not at all realizing no, SY is likely just about to become his boss(-brother-in-law)'s boss's consort - whoops! whoops! whoops!

[kim-the-miserable-rat]

I SAW A TIKTOK WHERE A GUY SAID THAT "LES MIS" WAS JUST A THREE HOUR MUSICAL OF THE FRENCH COMPLAINING

(and I mean, he's not entirely wrong.)

(JUST ACT 1 CAUSE I UNDERESTIMATED HOW LONG THIS WOULD TAKE ME)

So here's a list of what they complain about in each song:

LOOK DOWN: the prison system sucks

PROLOGUE: the life of an exconvict sucks

VALJEAN'S SOLILOQUY: this guy is too nice how dare he? And also the prison system still sucks.

AT THE END OF THE DAY: my workplace is full of cunts

I DREAMED A DREAM: men are the worst

LOVELY LADIES: selling my necklace, hair and becoming a prostitute to help my child is something that I have all the right to be mad about (she's completely right, Fantine you deserved sooooo much better queen)

FANTINE'S ARREST: (to the bourgeoisie asshole) stop dehumanizing me I will fight you (to javert) your justice is not fair (to Jean Valjean) It's kinda your fault that im in this situation tbh

THE RUNAWAY CART: (javert) YO HOMIE WTF ARE YOU HULK? [suspecting]or are you buff because of slavery?.....

WHO AM I?: Oh poo! Now I have to choose between lying (it will make god sad) or going back to jail (hundreds of people will lose their jobs and end up living in misery by my actions) Fuck them workers, im an honest man, lets save that one innocent man.

THE TRIAL: the justice system is flawed. Look at my sick ass tattoo in my chest. Ok nvm im going to se Fantine fuck you all.

FANTINE'S DEATH: I will never see my daughter again this is so unfair (it really is)

THE CONFRONTATION: (Jean Valjean) Javert could you FUCKING WAIT A SECOND! I HAVE SOMETHING IMPORTANT TO DO(Javert) Im going to drop all my lore in two lines that you will not get cause were all singing at the same time; and NO, you can't just go, WTF?

CASTLE ON A CLOUD: HELLO, CHILD SLAVERY???? SOMEBODY HELP THIS CHILD ASAP!!!

MASTER OF THE HOUSE: Madam Thenardier has a solo just to talk shit about his husband (and he deserves every bit of it)

THE BARGAIN: (Thenardiers) NO, OF COURSE YOU CAN'T TAKE OUR LITTLE TREASURE AWAY -unless you pay for her, that is-

PARIS (look down reprise): EVERYTHING IS AWFUL, WE HATE IT HERE!

THE ROBBERY: (Eponine) FUCK YOU MARIUS MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS! (Javert) Ewwww... i hate criminals! and also poor people. Same thing to me, really.

STARS: I'm so obsessed with that fugitive that it's starting to blur into an homoerotic desire. Also HOW DARE HE to be free? I will hunt him for sport

EPONINE'S ERRAND: (Eponine) So now I have to help YOU, the boy im in love with to find a random girl? ALSO WTF DON'T GIVE ME MONEY YOU ASSHOLE.

ABC CAFE: (Enjolras) STOP WHINING MARIUS, NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOUR NON EXISTENT LOVE LIFE, WE ARE PLANNING A REVOLUTION HERE, YOU KNOW? Also please guys can we take this thing seriously? Please please please :(

DO YOU HEAR THE PEOPLE SING?: (the people, obviously) time to eat the rich or die trying!

RUE PLUMMET/IN MY LIFE: (Cosette) father, ur cool to be around and all that but.... Who the fuck are you? And why do we act like we are convicts running from the law (cause ur dad kinda is, sweetie)

A HEART FULL OF LOVE: (Eponine) It fucking sucks to have helped my crush find the girl he's in love with[who would have thought?] Guess I will look at them longingly from like five feet away while they confess their love for each other and purposefully ignore me.

THE ATTACK ON RUE PLUMMET: (Eponine) GODAMNIT they will think I'm one of those assholes I have to do something! Go away or I'll scream IM INSANE I WILL FUCKING DO IT. Also fuck you dad. (Babet) I DON'T FUCKING CARE ABOUT THE LORE, GIVE ME MY FUCKING MONEY THENARDIER (Thenardier) Im surrounded by idiots! (Jean Valjean) TIME TO GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE, FUCK EVERYONE WHO WANTS TO SEE MY DOWNFALL.

ONE DAY MORE: (Jean Valjean) Kinda sucks to have to run from the law [yeah homie we noticed that] (Marius & Cosette) OH NO! I'LL BE SEPARATED FROM THE LOVE OF MY LIFE THAT I MET A WEEK AGO. WHAT A GREAT TRAGEDY (Eponine) Marius still doesnt care about me. (Enjolras) He's not complaining, he's having the best time of his life. Good for him. Enjoy it while it lasts, citizen! (Javert) Guess I'll go as a spy with this cool new outfit. [Again, not a complain but important to notice]

OK, THIS DESCENDED INTO MADNESS.

EXPECT ACT 2 SOON :)

[broadwaydivastournament]

Broadway Divas Tournament: Round 1B

Lea Salonga (1971) made history in 1991 as the youngest performer to ever win Best Leading Actress in a Musical for Miss Saigon. She was just twenty years old at the time, and now all these years later, she qualifies for our MILF tournament. Lea has starred in six Broadway shows including Les Miserables (as first Eponine and then later Fantine), Once On This Island (2017), and most recently a brief stint in Here Lies Love (2023). She is also the singing voice for Disney's Mulan.

Diva, icon, certified GILF Christine Baranski (1952) has a theatre resume a mile long. A two-time Tony winner, Christine has performed on and off-Broadway, regionally, and internationally in shows such as Mame at the Kennedy Center, the pre-Broadway workshop of Sunday in the Park with George, and the infamous flop that was Nick & Nora (1991). She can be seen alongside a slew of other Broadway Divas in HBO's The Gilded Age, and has also participated in at least ten Sondheim shows and concerts over the years.

PROPAGANDA AND MEDIA UNDER CUT:

"Lea Salonga was our only major Asian representation on Broadway for decades, and yeah okay, Miss Saigon was the single most racist, orientalist, offensive show I've ever seen on Broadway, but-- Actually, no, I have no "buts" for this. It's just a bad show, and Lea Salonga deserved a better star vehicle."

"If you didn't turn into a raging lesbian from the moment you watched Christine Baranski perform "Does Your Mother Know?" in Mamma Mia, then are you really queer? THE GILF, and still able to be a high kicking bitch when she wants to."

[dixidin]

After finally finishing Les Miserables with an embarrassing amount of breaks. I can now confidently say that I didn't cry....BUT FUCK YOU JAVERT

In honor of barricade day, I will watch the Les Miserables musical. Wish me luck

[cliozaur]

If someone in the Brick rants, it’s a bad sign. This is Hugo’s way of saying: Run for your life! (Even in the case of Grantaire.) Tholomyès is one of the worst. On top of everything, even his friends do not want to listen to him. We do not know about Fantine’s reaction to his harangue, but I’m genuinely afraid that his loquaciousness may be the only thing that attracted her to him (we know that he is old, ugly, and unkind).

But the rant itself is the true offender. Tholomyès doesn't merely vent; he launches into self-righteous pronouncements, dictating how others should live (while possessing zero moral high ground himself). His comments about women, both generally and specifically towards those present, are appalling, revealing a deep-seated disrespect and hypocrisy. The "accidental" embrace of Favourite speaks volumes about his infidelity and lack of genuine connection.

Oh, Fantine, you deserved so much better!

[dolphin1812]

Choosing to stay in the worst place available out of low self-esteem is, tragically, a very Jean Valjean thing to do, but having his meetings with Cosette in this cellar is especially ominous. The spiders and dead flies call to mind her post-Fantine and pre-Valjean childhood, when she’d chop at dead flies with her tiny sword because it was the only toy she had. The entire room, in fact, feels like a place the Thénardiers would have placed her in, given how run-down and sad it is for her.

That it’s a cellar also feels representative of the lifestyle of this family. Yes, there’s a veneer of happiness and prosperity on the top floors, but crushing poverty lurks in both Marius and Cosette’s pasts, as do the secrets (namely, Valjean) that haunt their marriage.

(And please let Valjean sleep and eat! No wonder he makes such bad decisions!)

And Cosette! Her attempt to get Jean Valjean to accept better conditions parallels earlier attempts (like getting him to sit in a warm room), but now, they don’t work because he doesn’t see himself as her father anymore. While he was responsible for Cosette’s happiness, he was willing to “indulge” himself in tolerable living conditions, but since he sees Marius as responsible for her and doesn’t see that she considers him part of her happiness, he doesn’t feel a need to give in to her demands. In fact, he thinks he doesn’t deserve to, furthering both his suffering and his ignoring of Cosette’s agency.

His use of “vous” and his formality is heartbreaking, but I will say, the translation unintentionally helps? His formal language is so outdated in English that it just sounds funny, making reading this chapter a bit easier emotionally.

“One does have freaks, but one does not cause one’s little Cosette grief. That is wrong. You have no right to be wicked, you who are so good.”

Cosette is the only one with sense here!!

I hate so, so much that he tries to distract her with pretty, expensive furniture. Cosette needs her relationship with her father – not money – and he still only thinks through that lens.

And Jean Valjean’s love for her is still so palpable! He cares so much! It’s just that he won’t express that in a way that’s clear to Cosette, leaving her feeling abandoned and isolated.

[astriexxe]

Here is my very long post about what I think of Les Misérables (2012) after watching it again recently

Tldr: the music which should be great somehow just isn't, the camera angles are fucking weird, Russel Crowe isn't as bad as I expected, Hugh Jackman was worse than I remembered

When I watched Les Misérables (2012) the first time it was the first experience I'd had of Les mis other than the odd YouTube video of one day more (or occasionally do you hear the people sing). I didn't know what it was about I didn't know many of the songs.

I found it fairly boring, the music was ok, the middle section with the revolution was the highlight. My favourite character was Javert followed by Enjolras (but that's biased because I'm a moulin rouge and n2n fan and it was Aaron tveit).

When I watched it back I entirely expected to hate Russell Crowe as Javert but have more respect for the music and the rest of the film as I have since watched the staged concerts and been to see it live and it's fucking great I love it.

I was wrong the music still sucked and I still found it kind of boring despite absolutely loving the stage production.

The orchestra is too quiet I think which means the music loses a lot of it's grandeur and the bad singing is more obvious.

Russel Crowe has a weird tone when singing (this we already knew) and when compared to other Javert's he sucks but when compared to Hugh Jackman it's a relief whenever it's his part because holy fuck Hugh Jackman was bad. Russel Crowe honestly wasn't that bad, I quite like his Javert from an acting perspective and the singing was alright, I know when I first watched the film stars was my favourite song (just imagine how amazed I was when I heard Philip Quast's version). I wish Javert's suicide was better in the film.

Hugh Jackman was far worse than I remembered him being perhaps I have more to compare him to now, bring him home was awful that's not how that should be sung and he had me bored for like the entire bit at the start where it's basically just him (end of prologue/ VJ's soliloquy).

One day more was a bit messy but not as bad as I was expecting.

The scenery was pretty epic like they had some great cinematic shots (ship at the start, the Seine, the cliff during VJ's soliloquy) like a big musical like Les Mis deserves some cool shots like that.

The camera angles were fucking weird. I find how shows use different camera angles quite interesting but I can't figure Les Mis out, it doesn't enhance the story or characters or anything it's just distracting and adds to how boring it is. I thought the camera angles during VJ's soliloquy looked like he was vlogging. Some dramatic shots could have helped that scene a lot I think. The camera angles got a little more exciting but the weird close ups were a theme and I personally think they were poorly used and distracting.

The Thenardiers were pretty good the first time I watched it but like having seen the show since it just doesn't work they're nowhere near as funny.

When my friend watched Les Mis and said she didn't like how all the dialogue was sung and I was like ok maybe she just doesn't like sung through musicals fair enough. No the film is just weird. They like added bits of sung dialogue but they seem to have forgotten to give these bits any tune.

VJ got a new song which was a bit of a shock because honestly I don't remember it from the first time round, I think the concept of the song is pretty cool but poorly written (it was sort of boring and didn't feel like it fit with the musical).

Les Amis were once again a highlight, the pace picks up, the singing gets better, all in all it's a good chunk of the film.

Fantine was better than I remembered and Anne Hathaway went for acting over singing in I Dreamed a Dream which worked but only because it was a film.

Eddie Redmayne was good as was Sam Barks I enjoyed their bits.

Aaron Tveit was also good you can tell which of the actors are theatre actors because they can act and sing at the same time (/hj). And of course respect to George Blagden.

The child actors (I don't know their names) were also great!

Yeah I think that's it if anyone read this to the end congrats on making it

[ineffable-gallimaufry]

just read a review of les mis from after the publication of the first volume that was like. actually funny how wrong they were.

"here's the preface in english, translated as literally as we can make it!" "victor hugo's preface was soo unreadable" OH, WAS IT?! gee, who would have thought that a LITERAL translation of a french author's work to english would be a bit wordy and awkward? also. it literally was perfectly readable.

"well, jean valjean ALMOST inspired some to feel better but... the five years for the loaf of bread was the only unreasonable thing. he really did deserve the other fifteen because he did CHOOSE to try and escape prison. really, he should have considered that consequence before he tried to run away" BITCH��‽ i mean, do you FUCKING HEAR YOURSELF‽‽ "i mean, i had sympathy for his plight as a galley slave but really i think he should have just accepted that and endured being used for SLAVE LABOR because i think trying to escape from jail is wrong and bad" DID YOU READ THE NOVEL‽‽ victor hugo explained this and you're just a fucking idiot. you know who said this exact thing? gee. let me think. oh i know IT WAS JAVERT. if you ever find yourself agreeing with javert, you should consider... not. there is a reason wwijdddt is a phrase in this household

"really i didn't like the extended talk about french politics. wasn't really explicable to my good and amazing and sensible country" it's almost like victor hugo was writing about french politics. for a french audience. because he lives in france. i think this reviewer may have their head too far up their own ass to consider that there are people in other countries who have intentions that are not writing for this specific reviewer (who i think was british but i could be wrong). you're a fucking moron.

"clearly the bishop's lesson doesn't stick because he robs a kid and then the author makes him feel bad about it" do you think becoming a good person is an easy one step thing? did you read this book thinking that jean valjean was a better person JUST because of the bishop? i mean, we already know this stupid fucking reviewer does not have basic thinking skills but i'll give them a hint: the bishop is where he learned that people can be good and kind but he does not realize that he is being a huge asshole until he realizes what he did to petit gervais! it's a common misconception among adaptations but this is worse than average because what do you mean it didn't stick?? you said it yourself; he FELT BAD. he realized it was wrong. clearly the bishop's lesson DID stick. if it didn't, he wouldn't have felt bad. for a guy who gets on victor hugo for supposedly contradicting himself all the time, you sure do know how to write a fucking review that contradicts itself in the same sentence.

"i think the only character who felt really alive was javert!" yeah. that checks out. it really does with everything they said.

"he really didn't make his point by showing us only the bad sides of a prostitute and a convict" he did not. you're just missing the entire point of the book. if you saw fantine and jean valjean as just a prostitute and a convict i think you really do need to go back to FUCKING SCHOOL BECAUSE YOU CANNOT READ.

"well, clearly m hugo thinks he's being a great christian by writing this" do you know anything at all about victor hugo. would you care to learn anything about him before writing a self righteous review of his book before condemning them and saying they would "corrupt the minds of vulnerable readers" and shit like that? okay, clearly not because i think there is no fucking world where victor hugo would call himself a good christian.

i mean... i just think it's a bold choice to put out a review that basically states outright that you missed the entire point of a book and can't read. and also. fuck that guy.

[brizadeiro-doce]

Books I've read in 2023 and 2024

War and Peace:

Bro, I've only readed it cos of the fucking Peanuts Movie. This book is 90% rich Russians crying over nothing and 10% gayness. But listen, Pierre and Andrei had the most unspoken yaoi tension. Natasha was a mess, but like, same. I read this in class, and people looked at me like I brought a brick to school—which I kinda did. Leo’s toystore by warren pierce is my fav book. 10/10.

Don Quixote:

I wasn’t ready for this to actually be funny. Like, why is a 400-year-old book doing slapstick comedy better than Netflix? Don Quixote is peak delusional, and Sancho Panza is peak relatable. But seriously, Cervantes, did you need to make every scene 20 pages? I’m begging you to chill. I read it in class and almost snorted out loud multiple times. Would I reread it? Only if I needed to sound smart at a party.

The Metamorphosis:

Kafka really woke up one day and said, "What if life sucked even harder, but also you’re a bug?" Gregor Samsa deserved better; his family was trash, his boss was trash, and even his bug body was trash. I felt too seen with this one. Also, my copy came with The Hunger Artist and Letters to Father, so I got the full Kafka experience. Later, i ended up needing to choose a book to make a slide show 4 class, and i picked Metamorphosis. Read this in class(where else) and got hit with existential dread during math. 9/10.

The Stranger:

Camus really wrote a whole book about a guy who doesn’t care about anything, and honestly, iconic. But also, what was even the point? I don’t remember half of it because Meursault was just vibing through life, and I was vibing through the pages. I read it and suddenly felt like I should start smoking cigarettes and wearing sunglasses inside home. French people are built differently. Camus, bro, why did you make me feel both smart and stupid at the same time? 8/10.

The Catcher in the Rye:

Holden Caulfield is that kid in your class who thinks they’re the only one who’s ever been sad before. He is THE most annoying person you’ll ever meet, but also, I’m him, and he’s me. Salinger really wrote a whole book about a teenager complaining and made it iconic. I read this because of Submarine (2010), and now I kinda want to bully Holden. I hated how much I loved it, but also, why is Holden such a little hater? Go to therapy, bro. Or don’t. It’s funnier that way. The vibes were immaculate but also insufferable. Salinger, explain yourself. 10/10.

Les Misérables:

Okay, so Les Misérables was an experience. Javert and Valjean? They’re 100% gay. If you don’t see it, are you even reading? There’s no way these two aren’t just having a slow-burn, tragic love story on the side. The tension between them is palpable, and it’s practically fanfic material—Victor Hugo low-key wrote a gay love story that society wasn’t ready for. The fact that they never actually kiss or confess feels like a missed opportunity. Fantine deserved way better. Cosette, though… I can’t say I’m a fan. She’s kind of just there, being bland and perfect while everyone else’s lives fall apart. I felt zero connection to her character, especially when Marius was acting like he’s ready to throw it all away for her. Marius is my favorite character, though. 8/10.

[oh-shinx]

Talk about your Pokémon

They all deserve so much better than me Javert has been through as much shit as I have and he definitely did not deserve any of it All of my pokemon are such clever and wonderful pokemon except for Fantine who is just clever and Amélie who is just wonderful Dirk is slightly scary but he would not hurt a fly

[protectionsquad24601]

Fantine's death was such a wasted opportunity in the 2012 movie. It felt rushed tbh. My girl deserved better

[melancholic-pigeon]

Someday I'll write a meta essay on why Tristan McLean is the Fantine of Heroes of Olympus. Loves his daughter more than anything, feels he has to work away from her to support her because his dreams were broken when her other parent broke his heart, was too young to be a parent and circumstances/his own traumas/his idealism led him to tell himself "she's okay, she's being cared for, she doesn't need me to be with her, she just needs me to pay for her" while in reality she's being neglected and would do better with her dad nearby to love her...

Because he's a dreamer. He always has been. It's what attracted Aphrodite to him in the first place, in my view. He's young, he's immature, he's broken, and he has huge dreams: most of which are for his daughter.

Tristan McLean deserves more appreciation thank you for coming to my ted talk etc