#fanders finds

[holdnarrytight]

@thatsthat24

One thing about me is that when I join a fandom I'm never leaving. This is my first Sanders Sides fanart in 7 years! I'm still here. Hello!

I came across the series on Tumblr in 2017 and decided to give it a watch. It was right after Accepting Anxiety part 1. It's so creative and original I was instantly hooked!

The fandom was something truly special. As a lonely, closeted bisexual and neurodivergent 17 year old with no friends and in a world that seemingly had no place for me, I'd never experienced such unconditional acceptance and belonging. I made so many new friends and became so popular! My life did a complete 180°.

I'm 24 now. I recently picked up the series again after going through another rough patch and it's incredible how much these characters, and Thomas himself, mean to me and never fail to make me smile and laugh out loud, and encourage me to have a more positive outlook on my mental health.

I just wanted to say I can't thank you enough for creating a safe space where I could truly be myself and offering healthy entertainment when I needed it most twice. You're the best!

Everyone, please feel free to use these images, icons and headers however you'd like, as long as you credit me. I worked on these for a long time and nothing would make me happier!

Icons and headers under the cut:

Twitter header:

Tumblr header:

Icons:

[rosesradio]

You're the only person i follow who posts about thomas sanders

And i only watch him for sanders sides, i'm not really in the fsndom online, so i guess you are the best person to ask this

Why does thomas take so long to upload new sander sides?

ten questions scientists still can't answer, anon

[thomas-sanders-shipname-glossary]

Dragon Witch

Alright, first poll time! If she is included, that would mean adding ships with her for everyone!

[aubergine-with-no-peen]

guys, never write sanders sides fanfiction on your side blog.

the notifications never stop

[warnadudenexttime]

Hello! I need your guys help. If you’re a current fander, an ex fander, whatever it be.

I wanna make a video talking all about the hype cycle basically for “can lying be good” especially the speculation before and the fandom after. I have most of the script written but I want a lot of visuals from this era.

I know there’s not a lot of fanders left in the fandom actively who were there for that time/posted about that. BUT IF YOU ARE OR KNOW OF ANY POSTS. Please send links or screenshots my way of anything during that era of the fandom. So any theories about what the episode was gonna be (I remember people thinking it was gonna be about Roman’s room) or after the video and stuff about Janus. Luckily I do remember this time very vividly and that’s why I wanna make this video, I found it so fascinating and a great time in the fandom.

Right now I’m specifically looking for two main things, but of course I want anything I can get. I remember Thomas posting maybe a tweet or Instagram story perhaps of him saying he was filming at a theatre and I remember everyone thinking it meant it was Roman’s room. There was also a post Joan made on their tumblr (which I believe their tumblr has been deleted) about the notes they made about the episode including like oh Patton is wearing the wrong cardigan to show it’s Janus. Stuff like that. If you can find these posts especially PLEASEEEE send me them.

But yeah! If you have any questions lmk, please share anything you have. If you can, share this post as I wanna get as much information and data as I can. Thank you!!

[ts-critsfander]

I have seen multiple posts from fanders saying "Thomas doesn't deserve all the hate." To which I have to say-GET A GRIP AND ACTUALLY LEARN WHAT HE'S DONE.

Underpaid Brei

Brei was the main person who designed merch yet received no royalties until recently. To quote her "royalties were something I requested for several years while working there and was consistently told no." Thomas tried to cover the whole thing up and just said she wasn't going to be on the team anymore. As of now he hasn't addressed this.

Refuses to Communicate

Thomas has delayed the Sanders Sides finale for years now. He said it would come out in 2023 and the public received 0 updates until December 27th where he said the year just didn't work out for him. Even now the non finale episode has been delayed for months now and only Patreon receives updates that aren't even regular. They just drop at random dates weeks or months apart.

Sent Fans After People

On numerous occasions Thomas has responded to critiques from random accounts. On multiple occasions he's directly responded to people on X just saying they miss Sanders Sides or posts that aren't even critiques. A couple of months ago he posted a private message from a person on Instagram of them asking something along the lines of "When are you gonna make more Sanders Sides?". Since he posted a screenshot of said message and didn't hide their username in any capacity he made it easy for fans to find their account and DM them. Fanders have a history of sending death threats.

These points aren't just mindless hate. Brei deserved to be properly paid, fans deserve transparently ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY PAY FOR UPDATES/CONTENT, and people deserve to speak their mind without fear of being targeted by a large creator and their fanbase. Don't get me wrong I've seen posts that are just hating or meaningless nitpicking but there's genuine things Thomas deserves to be called out for and held accountable for. He's not your innocent white boy content creator, he's an almost 40 year old man who continues to mistreat people around him no matter their proximity.

[moonstone03]

Hello! I have seen some other fanders commenting about the Janus GRWM video and I have a few opinions about both the video and some of those comments. But please note these are my thoughts and opinions and even some theories about certain things.

Also note that I respect and can understand other people's opinions, I am just sharing my own.

So, overall I found the GRWM video fun and funny. At first when we saw the preview last night,

I theorized that the colors used were meant to make it more obvious on the skin. Some even pointed out that the change could be because of Thomas's skin condition. To me, despite these colors not being green, they still look slightly green especially with the yellow glove near his face. Most people have more of a problem with the black line for his mouth which I can agree, it is very jarring to the eye and unnatural looking. However, this is not the first time we have seen the black line for Janus.

You can see it in the screen shots and it is very obvious, and done not as well, in the second picture with Janus's full winter get-up. I think this has less to do with Thomas choosing to change the makeup look and more with the fact that Tayln and Quill (who seems to be doing the makeup now) have different styles when it comes to Janus. This style has also been seen with some cosplayers, which I would show pictures but I cannot find names or media tags for them but you can see examples if you look up Janus Sanders Cosplays. Hopefully by the time the finale comes around, the makeup will not be as jarring and maybe even get better.

Now with the comments about how the characters are portrayed. I can see where this is coming from, they have changed but something we have to remember is that they are representations of Thomas's personality which will change over time. Also Thomas is still trying to get a handle on them without Joan by his side and we haven't had an official episode since Working Through Intrusive Thoughts, most things that have come out since seem to be semi-canon/non-canon. Thomas has also said (via my memory) in his Failures and Success video for 2023, he was using these Aside videos and shorter and easier form content to get used to and understand his characters again and to have more fun with them without the pressure like normal videos.

I want to end this post with saying that Thomas can and does make mistakes, we all do, but these are his characters and he is allowed to change and use them as he sees fits. Just as much as we as fans are allowed to use these characters and change their designs and even sometimes personalities to fit what we want them to fit.

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk, have a good day, treat each other with respect and love, peace out! Love y'all!

[arkrow]

The sides and their favourite musicians (except it's full of my own biases)

We're in for a long one fanders, strap in

Logan: Bo Burnham. I don't imagine he actually listens to that much music, but when he does, Bo Burnham (and I could honestly see Jack Stauber too), is his absolute go too. Y'all actually have no idea how vindicated I felt when I first looked at his official playlist and saw "art is dead" (also, speaking of the official playlists, I'm not using them as reference, these are all my own head canons.) He loves the wordplay, he loves the references, he loves the instrumentation, he loves the messages, this man is a Bo Burnham fan, and you cannot change my mind. For somewhat similar reasons, I think he'd also enjoy the concept of Will Wood but in practice he finds many of the songs to be a bit 'much', though he likes "In case I make it" and ESPECIALLY Willard!

Virgil: Now, I could go for the very obvious answer and say My Chemical Romance... and that's exactly what I'm going to do. I like to imagine he's like an actual sleeper agent whenever he hears the words 'look alive, sunshine' however he's sort of built up a tolerance (like it's a poison lmao) to the fabled g note. As for other less predictable and less emo artists, I imagine he'd also be into punkier stuff and mainly riot grrrl (mainly because I love riot grrrl) and possibly dabble in some folk punk (because I love folk punk). Specifically, I think he's like Cricket!'s album 'self-sufficient' and the Cat Crash songs 'wdymhdosp' 'Connecticut' and 'dreamer'.

Roman: I thought about doing a deep dive into what I think Roman's favourite musical to listen to would be, but it dawned on me, his favourite artist is Thomas Sanders. As Thomas's ego, it would make sense for him to be proud of his work. As for other thing's I think he'd listen to 'find me in your dreams' and 'deadbeat boulevard' by ace of hearts definitely come to mind as well as a fair few MARINA songs.

Patton: 'divorced dad rock' this, 'kidz bop' that, THIS MAN LOVES HIMSELF A SWEET ACOUSTIC GUITAR LOVE SONG! The album 'hello world' by Naethan Apollo, a bunch of Charlie Bennett songs, 'hi' by Matt Maltese, all come to mind for me. Also, for some reason, a whole bunch of Muppets songs (I have a strong visual of him belting 'am I man or am I a Muppet' to himself, by himself, singing both parts)

Janus: Whatever the hell spotify keeps telling me 'dark cabaret' is. 'Brass goggles' by steam powered giraffe, 'stuff is way' and 'kiss me, son of god' by they might be giants, his own cover of 'into the unknown', 'I/me/myself' (both the original and 2018 live in studio demo) and 'LaPlace's angel' by Will Wood are all staples of his playlist. Similarly to Logan, he likes wordplay and clever lyrics, but he also likes funkier sounds, jazz(?), mixing and mashing different elements from different genres, the unique and oddly genuine nature of music in the first place. He also (may) (he does but refuses to tell Roman) have one or two or ten Disney villain songs in his playlist.

Remus: Lemon demon. Man listened to 'two trucks' once and never looked back. He's also a big fan of musical theatre and while he doesn't listen to it as religiously as Roman does, 'blue' from the original heather's soundtrack has a soft spot in his heart. His playlist has some wildcards though, and it's just total tonal whiplash, one song it's 'alien blues' by Vundabar and the next it's 'Scotty doesn't know' by Lustra.

[co-smitten]

Sanders Sides Co-Writing Fun

Hello this is @yomica12345. There might already be some fanders already doing this but I haven't found them if they are. I just thought it would be fun to create a side blog as a space to unite sanders sides fanfiction writers who would like to find others to write with.

I'm hoping it will help inspire those who are in all sorts of positions. Those who may be suffering with writers block and would just like someone to bounce ideas off of or are looking for a proof reader. Those who think it would be fun to co-write with someone but don't know where to look for that person to write with. Those who have ideas but aren't sure where to start and could use some guidance. And maybe those looking for writing prompts specific to the sides or those who would like to offer prompts from ideas they might have themselves.

Basically I want this blog to be a safe place for fanders who love writing fanfiction and fanders who love reading fanfiction. I'm not sure how to organize things just yet but if it seems enough writers are interested in this idea then I'll get a discord running and I'll start setting things up. If you're interested in participating in anything I've mentioned whether it be writing, reading or collaborating please like and reblog this post. The more people I see wanting to get involved the more I'll take this seriously. If you have any questions you can ask them in the comments or through my ask box. Thanks in advance for any support you might offer this post <3

Co Writing Discord Link

[beepmeowiskarkat]

A note to the Sanders Sides fandom

Hey so like if you're a fander who supports Israel, no the fuck you are not <3 I have been in this fandom for six goddamn years and I am revoking your fander license. You lost the privilege of enjoying this show the second you decided to support actual fucking genocide :3

Thomas is pro Palestine! Most of the fandom is pro Palestine! The characters are very obviously NOT PRO GENOCIDE!

I am a fandom veteran and I have seen some absolutely insane shit come out of this fandom, but this is the final fucking straw :)

I could handle the out of character fan fiction of 2018, the absolutely abysmal shipping wars, the lowkey blatent trans phobia and queer fetishisation which we have mostly gotten past (thank fuck) but good fucking Lord, if you support Israel then you are not a fander. Plain and simple. Get the fuck out. I refuse to deal with you.

If i could I would revoke your internet privileges all together. Touch some fucking grass. Think for two seconds about what the hell Israel is doing and reconsider how you fit into this fandom. You are surrounded by an entire fandom made up of minorities. We are a community of disabled, queer, and POC individuals. The Sanders fandom has ALWAYS been that. We have ALWAYS tried our best to be an open minded and inclusive fandom, even in our rough patches. And you have the fucking AUDACITY to call yourself a fander when you support genocide?

Not only that, but a genocide which is so well documented, that if you spend even a second looking for them you'll find pictures of malnourished and dead children, excessive gore, torture, rape, and other tragedies?

You look at the death or Aaron Bushnell and you think Israel is in the right? That Hamas is "just as bad"?

It was never about the hostages and you should fucking know that by now.

How are you in this fandom. You do not follow our values, you do not follow our code, you do not follow our morals. How can you find love and comfort in this series when you so obviously go against what it stands for.

Leave and don't come back until you've re educated yourself. Or die. Either works.

From the hatred in my heart,

Nikki </3

[clydesavage-thefox147]

So, a while back I made a post explaining a lesser known part of Virgil and Patton’s beef as of late. [Read here]. I said I would follow it up in more detail as to why I believe they are at odds. Honestly, shocked to have heard other fanders lately speaking on this similar point, so I'll throw in my two cents to see if anyone else picks them up.

This point in particular being about the most recent reason why there's a disconnect between them. That reason being Patton’s new found friendship with Janus. To start off, I think this is a commendable leap for Patton. He went from viewing Janus as a moral obstacle and an opposer to his “good person” image that he pushed harshly onto Thomas. Then, once Janus had explained his motives or at least attempted to, Patton started having a change of heart. He could tell Janus wasn't as such an awful guy as he once thought. Janus actually had sincerity and even helped reassure Patton that making mistakes is okay just as long as you're obviously trying to do better. Patton then later even admitted that Janus wasn't exactly wrong in the matter, proving that he did have a point. This flip in view for Patton is a good one, for both him AND Janus. Patton, with Janus' philosophically nuanced views and his lawful neutral-bridging evil approach, could learn to understand the grays of morality and selfishness. While Janus, with Patton’s softer demeanor and strong empathy, could learn to embrace his own softer side and even take a chance on selflessness towards others. This could be the first step in balancing out Thomas' mind and finding common ground. Despite Thomas' weariness to fully trust Janus, he's willing to give him a chance. This is a positive swing in the right direction. 

However, to Virgil, it may not be. We all know Virgil has his own personal vendetta with Janus, as well as the Dark Sides as a group. He has pushed time and time again that Janus is not good to have around and he isn't to be trusted. Later in Dealing With Intrusive Thoughts, he had admitted to wanting to protect Thomas from the Dark Sides or “The Others” as he called them. This was why he was so persistent in trying to keep them at bay. So, on the surface, he wanted them gone for safety but..his personal views on them are underlining the tension. Particularly with Janus, he has this aggressive behavior whenever Janus is present, showing that his views on Janus aren't very good. This is understandable seeing how it seems that Janus triggers something within him. He constantly pushes the notion that Janus is an untrustworthy, conniving liar. That's how he views him. This is the last image of Janus that’s ingrained in his mind. So, seeing him in a softer light like Patton is now, isn't going to be easy for him.

It's funny that Virgil said that Patton struggles with issues involving the past(which is a valid point to bring up) but..he himself is struggling too. Since he's holding onto these grudges, he can't embrace any form of compromise. Though, he could be valid in these grudges. We have yet to know what really transpired between all of them but it might have been quite tragic or traumatic to say the least. So, it's understandable why Virgil wouldn't want them around. They must've hurt him in such a way that made him outright refuse to view them as anything more than what his warped mind chose to view them as now. That’s why in Perfect Gift, when Janus gave Patton a genuine gift, Virgil didn't know how to exactly respond. His expression gives one of two feelings. Either one of not being able to see Janus in this softer light and finding it off-putting or maybe one of jealousy over Patton being treated nicer than how he might've been treated by Janus. I mean hell, they both gave Patton the same gift albeit years apart. Maybe Virgil saw it as competition for Patton’s affection? Or maybe, could Virgil be thinking that Janus is trying to manipulate Patton as well?

To further add, Virgil could also be feeling a strong sense of failure. He said he wanted to protect Thomas and the other Cores from the Darks but he felt like he failed with them becoming progressively harder to combat. Now, seeing the embodiment of Morality being friends with the embodiment of Deceit could be rubbing salt in the wound. He feels betrayed by Patton here. He constantly pushed that Janus wasn't trustworthy but those warnings were ignored.

Think of it like this: You have a toxic partner/friend/bully in your life and you have routinely ranted about them with your peers. They all agree you should leave them or ignore them. You do and everything seems fine for a while. But, then you turn the corner one day just to see your so-called best friend hanging out with this person. How would you feel? You'd feel hurt wouldn't you? This is how Virgil is feeling. It's a valid feeling. Seeing someone you trusted being with someone you couldn't trust is heartbreaking. Patton was Virgil's first supporter when he first showed up and now seeing Patton trying to accept Janus, his sworn enemy and/or possible ‘abuser’ is painful. Sure, Virgil was pushing Patton away due to previous issues between them but Patton still cared about him and wanted to reconcile. However, it seems like that won't be happening any time soon. Now, by giving Janus a chance, Patton not only pushed Virgil further away but cut a rift between himself and Roman. Now, Roman and Virgil are best friends all because they have a mutual hatred for Janus. We know why Roman hates him, but for Virgil, we don't know the exact reason(s) yet. Hell, Roman and Virgil were calling Thomas a liar throughout FWSA all because he decided to give Janus a chance too. Both Roman and Virgil feel betrayed by Patton here. But, I think Patton is in his right to fire back at Virgil with “Well if I can learn to accept you, why can't I accept Janus?” Then Virgil could either fall silent and not know how to respond, blurt out something so revealing about them, or something subtle yet still telling. Virgil hates the new found friendship Patton and Janus have formed but Janus could be annoyed with Roman and Virgil’s new connection formed around the hatred for him. These four are going to really have a brawl going forward and it could end great or tragic depending..and seeing how things have been escalating... probably tragic

But in summary, Virgil feels betrayed and hurt by Patton's involvement with Janus after repeated attempts to steer him and the others away from the Darks. He's not going to take this lightly at all. However, Virgil's hypocrisy in not being able to move on from his past grudges is blinding him from the positives of the situation and possible reconciliation. But, what do you think, do you pick up the two cents I just threw down?

P.S: I will add more explanation to Pat and Virge’s issues in another installment later hopefully.

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

Songs to Grow Flowers To

I've been re-reading a lot of your fics in Ao3 these past few days, and I've had this idea for a while and I figured hey, why not ask? Basically, human AU, Aromantic-but-not-out Virgil with Hanahaki, and a best friend who is the only one who knows about the Hanahaki and is really worried (I picture Patton in that role, but if you think of a way one of the others would fit better the ideal, by all means go for it! I'd like to see your spin on it :] ) and they keep telling him to tell his crush or whatever and Vee's like "...no". And it ends up being bc of his family(? His parents or sth, bc it's not romantic love, but he's afraid of saying that to his best friend because it would crush them (and it's like, true that whoever it is for doesn't really care about him, so it makes it more angsty-) idk why this popped up in my brain but I can't stop thinking about it- . Maybe hurt/comfort with the friend group finding out and helping him in some way so he doesn't die(? ;w; – anx-fander

Read on Ao3

Warnings: hanahaki, car crashes, hospitalization

Pairings: gen (yeah i know for a hanahaki fic huh ^_^ )

Word Count: 2311

A series of songs Virgil listens to as flowers grow in his lungs. Chronic hanahaki isn't what people think it is. It's not blooming flowers from unrequited romantic love that ends in tearful confessions or the cold nothingness of the surgery. And Virgil, who isn't out as aromantic to even his closest friends, has no intention of letting anyone convince him it could ever be a good thing.

This isn’t supposed to be one of those stories. Chronic hanahaki isn't what people think it is. It's not blooming flowers from unrequited romantic love that ends in tearful confessions or the cold nothingness of the surgery. It's months of not being able to breathe quite right, of stuffing petals into trash cans, of cough drops and medication that's supposed to help keep the worst of them from taking root and long nights in the bathroom lying on his back with a vibrating vest to shake loose the brambles from the insides of his lungs. It's feeling the change of the seasons and knowing that it's going to be hard until fall, of knowing that for every moment he spends outside it's just going to be harder and harder when there's ambient pollen and he'll be sneezing and coughing his lungs out if he isn't very, very careful. Hanahaki isn't glamorous, it isn't romantic, it isn't the key to unlocking a whirlwind love. It's just painful and very stubborn.

Virgil puts on Que Sera Sera as he walks outside, pulling his hood up over his head.

Somewhere along the way, they’re figured out that it’s not really unrequited love that causes hanahaki, not necessarily. It’s emotional neglect. So when his parents still care for him—because of course it's his parents, of course it's the one root he relies on and it's chosen to only feed him sparingly, because they had a child because it's what they were supposed to do and not because he was truly wanted—he's surprised when he still throws up a mouthful of petals. Then he figures out it’s out of obligation, and he doesn’t realize that only makes the flowers grow faster. He sits in the garden one day when he spits up a full flower for the first time. He gives it to his mom, because he's only a child still and he wants to give his mother a flower, and swallows another when she smiles blandly and doesn't bother to bring it home with them when his father says it's time to leave. It becomes much harder to hide all the blood the next time.

July plays over his headphones as he does his homework, a trash can next to him filled with tissues and bloody petals.

Patton is the first one to notice and he’s frantic. He's about to call every single doctor he knows—or that his family knows—when Virgil finally gets him to calm down. He has his diagnosis, he has his treatment plan, he's got everything he needs to be fine, so Patton doesn't need to worry. But Patton won't listen. He's harping on about how Virgil needs to just tell his crush, it isn't worth dying over, that he's worth loving, he is, he really is, but he doesn't realize he's sort of making it worse. Because if this were just about that, about a romantic attraction, then yeah, it wouldn't be that much to worry about. Virgil likes to think that when it counts—and life or death scenarios definitely count—he's not actually that much of a coward. But maybe he is, because Patton just keeps saying how wonderful Virgil is, how much anyone would be able to love him, about how easy it is to love him, and Virgil can't help wondering then why don't they love me? He doesn't tell Patton this, of course, but he does break out into a coughing fit and Patton promises he won't push, not right now.

Virgil puts on This is Gospel as he goes to meet Patton for their walk, smiling as a dog sniffs at his boots.

Some of the other students figure it out and they’re still young adults so…well, you get the picture. It isn’t the teasing that makes it that much worse, it’s not the fact that he can’t explain that it’s not the kind of love they think it is, it’s not even the fact that some of his professors try to chime in not knowing the full story, it’s the fact that when he tries to tell his dad he's being bullied, he doesn’t believe him. Well, he doesn’t believe it’s a problem. It takes until Logan finds him one evening crying in front of two of them that someone actually does something about it. Some part of him should be satisfied at the fear emanating off the two in the face of Logan's rage, but he’s too focused on keeping the blood and petals inside his mouth. He can’t speak until Logan asks him to go wait for him at his dorm, and he throws the flowers up over the edge of a railing once he’s out of earshot. He bites his lip in order to have an excuse for the blood Logan finds at the corner of his mouth when he brings Virgil inside for a cup of tea as part of an apology for letting it get this far. He warns Virgil about how hot it is, not knowing he uses the scalding drink to burn away the petals in his throat. Each soft word Logan utters is another thorn snagging the inside of his lungs, each kind touch another breath he won’t be able to take. He gets the courage to ask Logan for a hug and feels the vines twist into a straight jacket. 

He sits on the ground, his back against a nearby wall, She Used to be Mine playing softly from his phone.

It's parents' weekend. His parents don't come, and that's bad enough. but then Roman and Remus invite him to come hang out with their parents while they're here. He sits with them at the restaurant and he's included in the conversation, but it's painfully obvious he is not their child. He excuses himself to go to the bathroom more times than is probably polite, but that only makes them worried, not upset, and he can feel the flowers getting worse. He manages to put on a smile to enjoy dessert and Remus remembers that tiramisu is his favorite. They split a piece and pick up another to take back to the dorm. As they drive back, a truck skids on ice and crashes into their car. Virgil manages to drag himself out of the wreck, trying to pry the others out too. He gets Remus and Roman out, but their parents are stuck. They're all crying, screaming at them to wake up, to try, and by some miracle, everyone survives. An ambulance arrives to take them to the hospital. The meds they give them make them loopy as all hell, so as they patch them up, he hears Roman and Remus's parents rambling deliriously about how much they want their boys to be okay, how much they love them, how important they are, please, just help my son, just tell me my son's okay. Virgil feels a very persistent branch crawling up his throat and the EMT next to him just stares at him with wide eyes before yelling for something Virgil doesn't hear before he passes out.

Virgil clicks through his music library, picking Irrelevant and jamming his headphones into his ears, shoving his hands in his pockets and stalking away.

Roman and Remus are lucky. They each escape with only superficial wounds. Their parents are lucky too; their dad has a broken arm, their mom has a slight concussion, but other than that, it's all fine. Virgil swallows the blood and smiles, happy to see them okay. So happy, he encourages them to go, he'll be okay, he probably won't be here for that much longer—he lies, Janus would be so proud—and they leave but promise to be back the next day. He makes another joke about savoring the time while he can before their mom asks if the hospital's called his parents yet. He lies again. He manages to hold back the vomit until they've all vanished out the door. 

He lies there half asleep, Skinny Love playing in his earbuds.

The doctor tells him that he’s only got a week at most, even though he knows how to fight this disease; he’s already lasted much longer than anyone ever anticipated. He says that he has medication, he has a treatment plan, but the crash did some damage that can't be corrected without surgery. And if they're performing a surgery on his chest, then they can't do it and leave the flowers there. The doctor asks for his emergency contacts. Virgil asks them not to tell his parents. It won't make a difference anyway. The doctor says they have to tell someone who can make medical decision for him, and he swallows his mouthful of blood and asks if there's any way they can speak to the on-campus doctor instead. The doctor leaves, promising to try, and Virgil buries his face in the pillow to cry.

He gets asked, once, what his favorite song is at the moment, and he says he doesn't know. When he walks home that night, listening to People Help the People, he thinks that maybe he's never had a singular favorite song.

Roman and Remus get back to campus and their parents fuss over them to no end. Patton and Logan and Janus all fret that they left Virgil in the hospital, they have to go back for him. They promise that he's alright, he's being looked after, that the hospital already called someone else for him. That's enough to soothe Logan and Janus, but not Patton.

Not Patton.

They all come back to the hospital the next day, distraught. Logan flies into his room as Virgil's throwing up more petals and he’s so angry, angry that Virgil kept this from them, angry he can’t do anything about it. Virgil says no, this isn’t your fault, you’re not responsible for my feelings, none of this is on you, I decided not to tell you. He never even intended for any of them to find out, actually, he never expected them to do anything about it. 

The doctor tells them he’s been fighting it better than anyone they’ve ever seen, but he asked them not to call his parents. Roman and Remus's parents promptly ask why, and when Virgil stutters and stumbles over any explanation, their mom looks at him with tears in her eyes and asks if it's them, if they're the ones causing this pain.

He stifles a sob and Patton starts crying. Roman and Remus clutch each other and Janus has to leave the room. Logan just stares at him and then looks to the doctor and asks what they have to do to fix this.

The doctor tells them that he's extremely emotionally neglected, that he needs to have a very strong support network built up around him before there's any chance of a full recovery. He still needs some level of surgery to repair the damage done to his chest, but they'll try to be as careful as possible. Virgil's about to say that they don't have to be here for this, but the twins' dad comes and sits right next to him, taking his hand a giving it a squeeze. His friends come and crowd around his bed, promising they're gonna be right there with him while he tries to recover.

For the first time in a long time, the feeling doesn't make Virgil want to cough.

“I care a lot about people, in general," he shyly explains to the twins' parents when he's out of the hospital "but I have absolutely no idea how they work. None whatsoever. There are so many weird rules about how much you’re allowed to care about someone else and in all sorts of very specific ways that I don’t get. So I default to caring a lot very quickly. I don’t expect people to do it back, mostly because they seem to get the minutiae that I can’t see. I get scared because I’m always sure at some point they’re going to hate me for it. The more I care the more scared I am. But it’s not their burden to bear, it’s mine. Is…is that alright?”

“Oh, you poor boy, come here. You're an incredible son, an incredible person, any parent should be so proud to have you as their child.”

"And for those who can't, that's their loss. You're our kid now."

"We have another brother!' Remus whoops as his mom pulls Virgil in for a very gentle hug.

Virgil can't stop smiling through his tears, even as his chest feels like it's about to explode.

"In a good way, right?"

"Yeah, yeah. In…in a good way."

General Taglist: @frxgprince@potereregina@gattonero17@iamhereforthegayshit@thefingergunsgirl@awkwardandanxiousfander@creative-lampd-liberties@djpurple3@winterswrandomness@sanders-sides-uncorrect-quotes@iminyourfandom@bullet-tothefeels@full-of-roman-angst-trash  @ask-elsalvador @ramdomthingsfrommymind@demoniccheese83@pattonsandershugs@el-does-photography@princeanxious@firefinch-ember@fandomssaremysoul@im-an-anxious-wreck@crazy-multifandomfangirl @punk-academian-witch@enby-ralsei@unicornssunflowersandstuff@wildhorsewolf @thetruthaboutthesun @stubbornness-and-spite @princedarkandstormv  @your-local-fookin-deadmeme @angels-and-dreams@averykedavra @a-ghostlight-for-roman @treasurechestininterweb @cricketanne @queerly-fluid-fan @compactdiscdraws@cecil-but-gayer@i-am-overly-complicated@annytheseal@alias290@tranquil-space-ninja @arxticandy @mychemically-imbalanced-romance@whyiask@crows-ace @emilythezeldafan@frida0043 @ieatspinalcords @snowyfires@cyanide-violence@oonagh2@xxpanic-at-the-everywherexx@rabbitsartcorner @percy-07734@triflingassailantofmyemotions @virgil-sanders-the-gay-emo@cerulean-watermelon@puffed-up-bees@meltheromanstan@joyrose-fandomer@insanitori@mavenmush@justablah65@10paradox10@uhhh-hi-there-i-am-nervous@cutebisexualmess@bella-bugatti-frogetti-baguetti@ultrageekygirl@raven1508

[dndeceit]

Fander Fic Rec Friday (#22)

(A Self-Indulgent Double-Helping of Janus-centric fics)

Because it was his birthday this week, and because it's the 22nd rec list, but mostly because I say so.

Mind the Gap by parallelmonsoon Canonverse (Gen) Rating: T Thomas sneaks a peek at Janus's room without his permission and winds up getting a whole lot more than he bargained for. Notes: Part of a series/concept called "Eldritch Rooms", this is a wonderfully surreal bit of speculation into Janus's room and how it might reflect him and his role in the mindscape. It's also the first of a trio of semi-related fics (including the next two below) that have long been favorites of mine.

fall into a hole you couldn't see (the friends on the inside remix) by arealsword Canon AU/Inception Crossover (Gen) Rating: T Thomas becomes the target of a dream heist, but Janus is not about to let thieves run amok in his domain. Notes: Inspired by Mind the Gap/Eldritch Rooms. No real knowledge of Inception is needed to follow this one (I never watched it myself). But if you love BAMF Janus and the sides being lowkey terrifying, this is an amazing fic.

Those Good Lies by Agent_Ravensong Canonverse (Gen) Rating: G Thomas tries to understand the part that Janus plays in his life, both now that he knows him and before he knew he existed. In the process, he winds up reaching for answers that Janus isn't yet willing (or perhaps even able) to give. Notes: Inspired by "Mind the Gap". This is probably the fic that had the most impact on my concept of Janus, both characterization wise and his role in the mindscape. In particular, my headcanons about Janus's ties to the suspension of disbelief (indirectly) and the part he plays in both cultivating and sustaining hope (very, very directly) were born out of this fic.

(Series) Janus and the Technicolor Keyring by Ptolomeia Canonverse (Gen) Rating: M After the events of Putting Others First, Roman hands control of the imagination to Remus and ducks out, locking himself in his room. Janus is left scrambling desperately trying to keep things from falling apart, but Thomas's only hope might require Janus to give up his only hope of escaping the role of being the villain. Notes: This one is intense.

Cold Comfort by Anonymous Canonverse (Gen) Rating: T Following Putting Others First, everyone is a mess. Janus soon finds himself putting out so many fires among the other sides that he runs himself into the ground. Notes: This is basically the "coming back with pizza and everyone is bleeding and the room is on fire" meme gif in fanfiction form. Everyone falls apart at least once and it is glorious.

the last line of defense by frey_the_notorious_gay Canonverse (Moceit) Rating: G When one of Thomas's repressed memories threatens to resurface, Janus takes the brunt of it. Notes: I love fics that explore Janus as a defense mechanism, and this one approaches it from a very interesting angle.

Shedfics (These are some of my favorite kinds of fic in this fandom. It's such a weird, wonderful and unique form of hurt/comfort and I'll really never get enough of them.)

A Mask by NoblestRomanOfThemAll (AnxiouslyGoingIntoTheVoid) Canonverse (Gen) Rating: NR Janus's obvious differences from the others are unsurprisingly the subject of a lot of grief, though not in the sense that most would suspect. Remus helps in his way. Notes: Short, but such a good bit of character study.

Unexpected Change by NoblestRomanOfThemAll (AnxiouslyGoingIntoTheVoid) Canonverse (Gen) Rating: G Janus gets a rude surprise one day as his snake traits suddenly intensify. Remus pays Virgil a visit to confirm the cause. (Takes place just after Accepting Anxiety). Notes: Kind of angsty, kind of sweet. Remus is often a helper in fics like this, but some of his lines in this one are so fucking funny...

Shedding by NoblestRomanOfThemAll (AnxiouslyGoingIntoTheVoid) Canonverse (Gen) Rating: G An awkward encounter leads to Thomas learning that Janus sheds his skin. Notes: Hurt/comfort with a slight emphasis on the comfort.

Deny It All You Like- Thomceit Shedding Fic by Cherry_Sofa_729 Canonverse (Thomceit) Rating: G Having convinced himself his shed hasn't come early (and frustrated by the prying attention of the others) Janus flees to Thomas's apartment for some peace and quiet (and gets some TLC instead). Notes: The other sides are kind of assholes about it, but the rest of it is very cute.

Scales by NikaylaSarae Canonverse (Gen) Rating: G Something about Deceit's shed is...off, causing it to take far longer than it should. Fortunately, the others notice and ready to lend a hand figuring out what's going on. Notes: This one has a very fun, very unique twist to it that I wouldn't want to spoil. (Additionally, this one may technically qualify as a beach episode.)

Truth Hurts, Doesn't It? by LostinScribbles Canonverse (Gen) Rated: G Logan stumbles upon Janus incapacitated and mid-shed, and takes it up on himself to care for him. But lying to soothe Janus during the process winds up uncovering some uncomfortable truths. Notes: Shedfic with a side-dish of Logan angst.

Shedding by sevenstevearmy Canonverse (Gen) Rating: G Janus is shedding and Remus is determined to help this time. Notes: Remus helps, and is very Remus about helping.

[theprinxietycompendium]

Prinxiety Fic Rec Spreadsheet

Hello and welcome!! Here is the link to the Prinxiety spreadsheet! In response to the poll I posted yesterday I'm putting this out early

By some miracle, I managed to get all of the forms I currently have into the spreadsheet! (feel free to submit more!) there are fics I want to add myself, and I'll always be happy to add more if people submit more forms (I've included a link to that in here too just in case :3)

Note:

Unrated, mature and explicit fics are in the second tab on the spreadsheet, please do not go through these if you are not 18+.

TO FILTER THE FICS:

In order to filter the fics to find the ones you want, highlight the columns) you wish to filter and then click on the filter logo at the top of the column you selected and uncheck the options you don't want to see! This should not effect anyone else's experience of the spreadshseet.

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If you read a fic on the spreadsheet and the information I have listed is inaccurate/out of date/theres information missing, please send an ask and let me know! I'll fix it asap.

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@fandombead @just-my-interpretation @moss-sprout @imhere-imqueer-ilikedeer @spacedouterri @cutebisexualmess @hootnhoney @dragonairlce @yourdragonwitchroyalty @shsl-fander

I'll also tag @tsspromptmonth for the Sleepy Bean Cafe event going on right now :3 You may add this to the fic rec pile

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The form to get a fic added to the spreadsheet:

Have fun!

[ask-the-sides-anything]

To Roman and Patton: Good luck finding Virgil! Hopefully he’s okay. Maybe he left you some clues? Be safe out there.

To Janus: I’m not sure if you are aware, but Roman and Patton are heading to the Imagination to look for Virgil. I know you and Virgil aren’t on the best of terms rn, but I’m worried what might happen Ro and Pat. Roman can be overconfident at times and I feel Patton might be too trusting of strangers.

Thank you dear fander! That's exactly what we're hoping for at the Village!

Yep! Someone there ought to know where Virgil is! And we'll be extra careful, don't worry! -🩵

~~~~~~~~

I'm aware they're in the imagination, the Village to be more precise. It's the safe zone of the imagination , so I'm not too worried for them there. It's afterwards that I'm worried about...

But for Virgil and I... We've made our peace. I wouldn't say we're exactly friends, but Thomas needs him and he does help out sometimes.

~Janus

[moldy-lemons]

the worst part about this new ‘anime intro sanders sides’ video or whatever is that i’m already seeing fanders that are older than me act like this is the pinnacle of comedy. like it can get no better than mista sanders ova here.

which, yeah, humor is subjective.

but this shit isn’t funny. it’s barely creative. it’s like i’m watching the downfall of this man’s mind and drive in real time.

also it might be worth noting that the people who are finding this shit HEELAIREEUS just knee-slappingly hee-hawingly funny are the thomas sanders dickriders. a.k.a the people in the fandom thomas always notices. a.k.a the bitchiest little shits you will ever come across. y’all know who i’m talking about.