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bugflies00 · 10 months ago

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au crimeboys make me so so insane

it's not dadbur per say, even though wilbur does get custody of tommy and raise him, but tommy doesn't see him as his dad.

if anything, for a long time tommy didn't understand what a dad (or any parent) was supposed to do, because for him that was what wilbur did. so people would be like "dont you have a mum and dad?" he'd be like "no i have a wilbur" not because he sees wilbur as a dad but because wilbur is . wilbur. yknow? like his own category that's impossible to define by """normal""" family standards. wilbur is all of tommy's family at once, because he's all he's got, and he's his brother and his dad and his best friend.

because wilbur raised him, put him to sleep, put bandaids on his knees when he fell, taught him how to read and write and tie his shoelaces and not to chew with his mouth open and how to ride a bike and picked him up from school and went to parent teacher meetings.

but wilbur's also his brother, they're constantly roughhousing and punching each other and tommy's always trying to steal his stuff and get on his nerves and wilbur's always trying to get tommy a babysitter so he can go party and get drunk without his lame little brother.

but also wilbur is like. the most certain constant of tommy's life. i mean he was just two when they were put into foster care, he doesn't remember his parents, definitely not the social workers or foster parents who cycled every couple months, and he didn't make any true long-term friends until tubbo when he was about 9 or 10. so wilbur is like. the only person he's always known and will always know and that he's never doubted will be here forever. he's the first person he remembers!!!!

and so obviously tommy is absolutely ride or die for wilbur, even though he'd never admit it because he remains tommyinnit. they're also very codependent as you can guess.

tommy's really clingy but so is wilbur, and they kinda have a shift in their dynamic where like. when wilbur was a teen and tommy was 10-11, wilbur was trying to push him away for a while because yknow he was going through it (it being depression addiction the whole deal) and lashing out while tommy was trying to cling on. but then when they're a bit older, wilbur is the one who clings onto tommy because he's terrified he'll leave him too, especially when the prospect of tommy going away to college starts profiling itself.

that's something that wilbur takes a loooooong time to accept, because for a while he was flat out forbidding tommy from going off to college anyway further than a half hour ride. which is obviously. not very healthy. eventually he accepts but he completely motherhens the whole time to the point where tommy has to be like "im literally 18 ill be fine im not leaving forever" but wilbur still has a hard time the whole period tommy's away.

and anyway tommy doesn't cope well with it either, he had this whole idea of going off to college to try something new and make new friends, but once he's there he hates it. he realises it that he hasn't actually made friends since tubbo when he was 9 (he met ranboo through tubbo), because having his two best friends and his brother was always enough for him. and so he's completely alone with all these people he doesn't know how to talk to, and he starts spiralling and his grades start dropping, and he has the whole thing with dream. so eventually tommy does come back home because really he's just as clingy and he couldn't stand being away like that.

eventually when they're older they grow into something that's less... desperate i want to say? obviously they still love each other so much but they're able to hang out and spend time together in a way that doesn't feel like. "if im separated from you for more than two days i will literally die because i've been relying on you and defining myself around you my entire life" yknow?

it's a very complicated situation because they care so so so much about each other and would both kill and die for the other, but they've also hurt each other a lot. wilbur especially lashed out a lot when he was a teenager, and tommy often felt like it was his fault they couldn't stay in a good house for long, because he was too loud and rambuctious etc. there's also a whole bit with their last foster home that i want to explore but that is its own post

there's also an element of like. tommy feels guilty that wilbur had to put his whole life on pause to take care of him but wilbur doesn't see it that way. one day when they're having a really messy and bad argument he shouts something along the lines of not wanting the responsibility of tommy in the first place, which is something tommy takes a looooooooong time to heal from, and it's not even true. not just because he loves tommy, but because if it wasn't for that responsibility he doesn't think he would be alive. not in a metaphorical sense, as in very concretely, 12 to 20 yr old wilbur was in a daily mantra of "you can't kill yourself tommy is relying on you." and then it became "you can't kill yourself tommy and fundy are relying on you." and wilbur doesn't want to share that with tommy because in general he tries his best to never tell him anything dark like that (which on one hand yeah your 15 yr old brother isn't your therapist but on the other hand Do You Understand How Emotional Communication Works no he doesn't lmao) . but in the end he does end up telling him when he understands that tommy feels so guilty about him taking care of him and it's a very . important conversation in their lives . They cry a lot 👍

#alex.rambles.txt #c!crimeboys #mcyt #the fostering au

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bittersweet-folder · 1 year ago

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☆Bewitched~

REWRITING IS CONSIDERED!! AND THE FULL FIC WILL BE LONGER !!

The wizard Kwon Soonyoung x the love witch reader

Tw: Supernatural au, both reader and Soonyoung are aged up and in their twenties, Reader and Soonyoung's families are close friends. Reader has daddy issues and reader's father has left their family for years.

Ps: this is not very historically accurate.

Chapter 1 -

Song rec: from the start by laufey/ must be love by laufey.

from the start/must be love

Kwon Soonyoung, a family friend's,more accurately your mom's friend's son, the infamous wizard and exorcist (not really but he knew how to perform an exorcism so yeah) was the man who never really tried to get close to you as friends or maybe he did, it was quite complicated. He always has had, what we say in typical terms, called professionalism and a stern character while he's around any of his co-workers or other fellow wizards and witches. He never let his guard down around you despite you both knowing each other since you guys were ten years old. Not that he was like that from the start. He was bubbly and you both were friends which got substituted with this professional aura. You weren't used to it. Things with your family weren't going too right as well. With your mother and father going through separation since your father had another woman in his life, you were left with your mother. "It wasn't as bad anyways" you thought but there was an after effect. But one way or another, things just find their way to be okay, to be happy somehow and you were. Living in your own house, you made more or less good earnings with any medicines, potions, handicraft stuff. Of course at first glance people might think you live in vain and poverty but no your family had a good reputation in the town you lived, especially your mother's side was more or less wealthy. So a simple life with your two cats was an everyday thing for you.

~~~~~~~~~☆

"Soo who do we have here? Mr Kwon Soonyoung huh?" You raised your eyebrows with your lips having a tight lipped smile laced on them. "Okay enough for my dramatic talk, why are you here? You never come to my house until it's 'business' or 'work' stuff. A tarot read? Do you want that?" You asked as you crossed your leg, leaned back on your couch with your hot coffee waiting on the center table in front of you.

"Well you aren't exactly wrong but i need help with something else this time?" He said really calmly looking straight into your eyes.

'Yeah always a calm and reserved look in things like these' you thought.

"So basically it's just you gotta help me with an exorcism. Basically it's a girl this time and as you know I do not prefer dealing with women or girls who have been possessed" Soonyoung said, very calmly.

"Well yeah I remember the last time the woman who was possessed, after coming back to his senses very quickly found herself in your arms, you holding her and then accused you of harassing her. It was fucking weird" You stated, deadpan, now taking a sip of your coffee.

"Yeah and then you slapped her and she fainted and fed her a potion. So later on when she wakes up she forgets what happened before. I still don't understand. Why did you slapped her- that was so outta the blue" he said, staring at you with an awkward smile like a deer caught in headlights.

"I needed time to make the potion and I had the urge to slap her after witnessing her show of unnecessary drama where she thinks she's a damsel in distress trying to get of "a little too dangerous spirit" off of her "beautiful body" and coming up with those accusations. Just quote unquote speaking of what she said." You sipped on your coffee. "Be glad I didn't bash her head with a damn chair" And then flashed a warm smile towards him.

Soonyoung would be lying if he didn't feel chills running down his spine.

"Anyways when are we meeting this new one you're talking about? Also how old is she?"

Soonyoung sat on the sofa beside you and crossed his arms. You looked at him.

"Well, the day after tomorrow. She's around twelve years old."

"AROUND TWELVE!? Are you kidding me right now!?" You exclaimed being surprised at the fact that it's a child.

"Calm down, you'll make me go deaf. Don't scream like that" Soonyoung said outta annoyance.

"Excuse me sir, she's a kid. You can most definitely handle her, you won't even need my help then" You said stating a matter of fact.

"It's her father. Her mother left her father. And you know fathers are protective towards their daughters, so you automatically get it why. right?"

"I see. Alright then" you said, your voice almost dropping in the end to a whisper.

Yeah you got it even if you didn't experience it. You wondered though, how it might feel. But at the same time being in your twenties made you feel like you should automatically get a grip on yourself and let it be the way it is. Telling your younger self you'll someday be old enough to understand, is, what you wished for though sometimes. You were always a bit lost in thoughts though every time someone would talk about their father like now.

"Y/n? Are you okay?" Soonyoung looked at you with a worried look on his face.

"No I'm not because you're sitting beside me" You said with an annoyed look on your face. He let out a chuckle and stood up.

"Okay I'll get going now" He stepped ahead towards the door across the hall room but stopped halfway and turned around. You raised an eyebrow and looked at him.

"What?"

"Don't you think you should show some courtesy to at least walk me to the door and open it for me?"

"Oh I see" You stood up, walked towards him and stopped beside him.

"Happy now? Mr. Always professional." You said with a smile on your face.

He smirked and leaned closer to your face.

"Okay Y/n seriously stop calling me that and what about the door" He said in a lower voice.

"And what if I don't, what will you do?"

He was now stepping closer to you. You were now, the one stepping back almost about to knock over the table on which the lamp was kept. Soonyoung quickly slide his around your waist and pulled your closer with your hands instinctively placing on his chest to stop before you got any closer than you already were.

"So tell me, is this very professional of me? No, right? So drop that name honey. Just call me Soonyoung okay?"

"Oh. Say please" you smirked.

He pulled away and started walking towards the door hiding his slightly flushed face. And to his horror you did notice that.

He cleared his throat and then said "Okay I'll get going. See you day after tomorrow then"

"Absolutely Mr. Kwon Soonyoung" you said like you're pronouncing each and every letter of his name just to tease him more.

You got back to the sofa and sat finishing off your leftover coffee and smiled at the thought of him getting all flushed up because of your words.

Just then you saw a small piece of paper flowing in your room towards you and then falling on your center table. You took the paper in your hand. It was a small note which read.

“Well thanks for always helping out Y/n. And if being unprofessional, might as well be complimenting your 'just woke up an hour ago' look. You look pretty in that black nightdress and mismatched socks make you look cute”

From 'Mr. Always professional'

"Soonyoung you freaking idiot who writes all this" you cursed and whined. You took the cushion beside you and hugged it. 'He's again making his so-called advances in a flirtatious way' you thought.

~~~~~~~~~~☆

Kwon Soonyoung, who was your friend from the start but now makes you wonder otherwise about your feelings towards him. Making you feel like a lovesick fool who gives your heart a fluttering feeling everytime you see him. You wonder "it must be love" but you don't really know if all his advances, as in his flirting, are just for fun or have some intentions behind it. But a part of you thought you might as well should do something about it.

And well you did.

~~~~~~~~~~☆

A/n: finally I posted this. Sorry for keeping y'all wait. I did proofread twice. But if there's any grammatical errors please lemme know.

Thought of giving an orange theme for the first chapter despite the reader being a love witch.

Love y'all! Gonna post part two after sometime, haven't started it yet so yeah.

.・✫・゜・。..・✫・゜・。..・✫・゜・。..・✫・゜・。.

#seventeen #seventeen fanfic #seventeen fic #seventeen scenarios #seventeen fluff #kwon soonyoung #hoshi fic #kwon hoshi #hoshi #hoshi fluff #hoshi fanfic

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vivianbernadetteaurora · 10 months ago

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Libra moon s. 🦋👗♎️🌝😍

The libra moon with the mother may be quite complicated because we have to look at the balance aspect of Libra or anyone who’s got their moon in the seventh house. Hello hello how are you? I’ so your mother may have been quite diplomatic. Also she might have had a obsession with relationships, and you might of felt that she put the relationship before you and a lot of the time I’ve noticed with Libra moons this has happened ,and then the behaviour rubs off on them, where the people who should mean more to them, mean, just the same as people they barely know this is why I struggle with labra energy a lot all the time myself, but I wonder how you guys feel in that skin your mum might have worked in law. She might’ve been a lawyer she might’ve worked in the beauty industry. She might’ve had to compromise a lot for love and relationships from her and you learned a lot about compromise she avoided conflict so you had a lot of energy in your house, where what you wanted wasn’t vocalised because nobody like put it out there and it must’ve been really difficult for you as a child to process those emotions ,. On the darker end of the spectrum, the Libra moon, mother may have put an emphasis on beauty and appearances and aesthetics on you, which may have been really hard for you, if you’re not that kind of type of energy, especially if there’s a square aspect, or an opposition aspect in one of the charts to each other . I have most of the people in my life are libra moons.and they have had this where their parents it’s all been about the relationship and the child is almost secondary to that toxic relationship. People don’t think you’re that deep, but you hide it all, because that was what you were taught to do being brought up by a melancholy passive parent . So you put an emphasis on your hobbies and your beauty, whether you’re being a boy or a girl or was your escape where you ruled by Venus or with your escape whether it be boys kinds of art which is like sports racing fishing, hunting guns, and as for girls, I’m not saying girls can’t be into that. It could’ve been building wardrobes or building outfits or building making pictures or renovations and stuff and that is their way to deal with the emotion overwhelming motion, they felt.lack emotions , indecision boundaries with you, so you went onto do things yourself a lot of the time and a lot of the time you raised yourself to your highest standard because you didn’t believe that your mother had that before you, she had too much of a highest standard for you, so you have it is passed on to you, on the light of end of the spectrum, she could’ve really wanted you to have a very good relationship life and wanted you to be settled in that way. She believed that relationships were a cause for things being great all the time when they’re so much more life than just love relationships and even friendship relationships, it could’ve been a constant balance between you, your father, and possibly even a step parent lot of the time I’ve seen it being a step parent and other times I’ve seen it being a long-term marriage to get what you need out of life. You need to express this to your parents, even though it may seem too late, but that’s not how it is. I get with family, that that’s a really hard thing to do, but you need to find a way of dealing with it through relationships and make you happy but also being okay with time alone and doing literally nothing.

The thing I have noticed with libra moons and something they might want to work on to make themselves feel better is you definitely bought things up and keep things close to your heart because we’re always seeing what we were learning so much from so young so like the age of six you’re taking so much And because your man is in labour which will relationships a partnership. Sometimes a partnership can be very toxic as partnership can be really tidy and everything you ever dreamed of.

You playing the clown for everyone and cheering up maybe that’s because you wanted that done to you you wanted to make the atmosphere less intense do it in your daily life but just remember it’s not your childhood anymore and this these things that you say and is dying always necessarily gonna come true. It’s where you tunnel your energy to on the darker side people can feel like you’re not coming off as sincere and all the nice scale. It’s not ,Nice boy is an act when it’s just one of your coping skills, like some people get verbal diarrhoea. Some people can’t talk and they will shake so we’re all different and we rbeautiful for all being different in these ways, just learn to love yourself when the silence stops when the laughter stops it’s okay and it’s okay to have them so silences on the other hand going to the other side of that don’t do the opposite way you hold it in too long with people and don’t, let them into your heart, especially when it’s someone you really are in love with that is when it. ’s hard for you to let somebody in always is crazy with that libra energy.

Celebrity examples

Kristen Stewart, Amber Heard ,Ariana grande , kate winslet, meghan market,Emma stone. Adrian Lima ,Alicia keys Alexa Demi , Fergie, George bush , Bill Clinton, Joseph Starlin, Evian Peters , Lily Allen,Walt Disney , Dylan and Cole spores .

Scorpio moons🌚😈🫤♏️🥀🦂

And here we are now with the Scorpio moon, the intensity is fault beneath the surface, and from the energy they feel at themselves, so they feel like the energy energy is coming off them when it may not be, particularly like we said things can be interpreted in many different ways .

Say Scorpio, is it in detriment when it is in the moon in Scorpio, meaning that it doesn’t necessarily comfy in this moonshine it doesn’t feel safe. It doesn’t feel secure and in life that everything Scorpio craves. Scorpio men may often feel like they are innocent the crisis, whether it be externally or internally, but is a constant struggles to balance out this feeling of feeling they need to be in control of everything, or having a power struggles, a lot of them have had to transform and learn the debts of the truth and the hardest ways and things you can never even imagine people going through so, when it comes to the relationship with the mother is also another intensity for them, country to popular believe they haven’t all grown up in broken or battered homes. Yes, they may have grown up in a house that might seem like a prison system emotionally, another common Scorpio main child is feeling like they are an outside for the family and a joke or spell has been put up on them, two different types of Scorpio men when it comes to their mother one you could’ve been extremely close to your mother. Your mother may have gone to high heaven and asked to move things that were difficult for you and example it’s school you may have really felt like you struggled with a certain subject, so your mum would’ve gone beyond and above to help you with that to the point where she might’ve done it for you, so you didn’t grow up in that way emotionally, oh, they could’ve grown up with a mother who had diction problems, depression, and mental health issues as a whole, an abusive father. They may have felt an advocate too, so they had to protect my mum. See Scorpio is all about protection and we both grow and secure security and faithful they have frightened it. Anyway they may sting you with that tail. They may give you a bucket load of abuse to protect that own back.

But anyone who is Scorpio dominant Mars dominant or Pluto dominant they going to sell this in life that why aren’t people as connected to them as I am to them why don’t they do as much as I do why do they not feel as intense as I do for them and why am I the one who’s always going to be in heaven and asked for them? answer. I tell you what a lot of people feel very intimidated or even scared of you so you’re coming across as being powerful protective or what you see as being really dedicated to that person never is controlling and may want to get away from me as fast as possible, so people want to know what Pluto is on about and what it means they’re not allowed to scale because we’re just about to come into change into Aquarius . this is when family many things in history generational things I’ve been massive part of that with the Plutonian energy. If you are a plutonium person people physically want to get away from you a lot of the time they may see you as stalking,sneaky jealous, obsessive, controlling, coming back to the mother again this also might mean that you had a mother who is like this who controlled you who lied to you who didn’t tell you the truth about things when they should’ve kept them things maybe still for this day.

Your mother could’ve had this very isolating energy herself. She could’ve been a loner. She probably had a lot of trauma while the time she was pregnant or gave birth you and even your early childhood., that Scorpio energy that she put into her child, she could’ve been very overpowering with you, and controlled things are out of your control as a child and the other hand, she could’ve been overbearing you could’ve been hold onto the hold onto the apron string for too long and be overly attached to her because you never learnt how to stand on your own and feel safe enough to do it. No doubt there is secrets in the family.

As I said before I said Scorpio can literally or repel people away from them, they can also bring in some of the strangest people with big problems into their life. People who were going to do the exact same traits to go above secretive lie about them. Even catch STI infection. be close to infectious people. Sometimes you’re sick of having to learn these lessons about things and people you just wanna have a chill life boy do you have staying power and when you get passionate about something you really go for it, you can have passion about something that people don’t even concentrate on because a lot of the times you see details and picture like land so much about one thing I’m really put your all and love into it, you don’t believe in half past love is love is gonna come to you want it to be an intoxicating desirable and addictive, if it’s not like that it’s not worth it here this is why you have attracted or had these relationships in your life, and if it goes there being like that with your mother, and how are you to learn to be such a different way you learn this by stepping into stepping into the light and seeing a tree character, people can see the positive side of you by showing that colour isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Even jealousy, show them that you’re passionate about things and that you’re clever and that you learn subject your best ability and loyalty that remains so strong even the smallest insult to make you feel really slighted.

And the Scorpio made myself I just noticed another quality that we have, we either have loads of sex or no sex, we have either lays of money no money either have loads of drugs, load of clothes, laser, possession, load of food, loads of friends or the other side, no friends, no possessions, no sex, no drugs no rock ‘n’ roll no music no talking

Celeb examples

Jennifer Lopez, Lisa Kudrow, Margot Robbie, Alex Turner, Snoop dogg ,Bruce Lee , bob Marley ,milaa kunis,Beyoncé , lady gaga, miles Cyrus , the weeknd,kylie Jenner,will smith and liz Taylor

Moon in Sagittarius💫😎♐️🐎🐴🎲

Well we finally got there with the Sagittarius moon. It took me awhile. This is what we know from Sagittarius is a freedom loving sign may be a bit of a rebel tea maybe also a bit of a loner you can be many things at once like they say in Shrek, he says he’s like an onion and as many layers to an onion, and here’s one another mutable sign that may be like that.

Relationship with the mother with Sagittarius moon, depending on the mother, of course as well your mother put out that you could do anything you wanted be courageous. Be adventurous get out there have hopes and dreams learn to be optimistic and positive from your mother and learning experiences of different cultures, different ways of life, even if you didn’t do that always, she did that a lot and it’s funny how we can have mum who has multiple other children, but this really reflects on your relationship with your mother, even if you were all raised in a similar way, because we’re all going to have periods, all of our life, where we’re going through different phases, maybe you were the middle child and your mum decided let’s pack off and move to a different country, or maybe even two ages different area from where you live before where you experience a lot of different behaviours and culture, changes and city changes to country or vice versa. We have to remember that Jupiter And Sagittarius rule, travel, safety, your emotional needs, packing up and going away somewhere. Maybe what you find very comforting for your emotional needs your emotional needs maybe travelling, experiencing different cultures and languages foods, experiencing different types of social dynamics, social, setting social groups the mother was probably very freedom, loving and adventure herself And people may have seen her is a bit of a drifter, one of these dark characters that is here from time to time, and then shows up again. There’s nothing necessarily bad with that

On the other end of the spectrum of the Sagittarius moon and the mother, your mother could’ve loved it, freedom to the point of she might have abandoned you to feel her own social needs and freedom being met, or she could’ve had other children and this aspect of the fun that you had together may have changed, so you may have Harboured a lot of anger over that because you and her had that special relationship of travel and now somebody else is coming along and your mum is gone through another phase in her life.

Your mum could’ve been a gypsy traveller, you may come from a mixed race background or any other religious or race, ethnicity background, she could’ve been part of a church group, or she could be part of the east and London culture, but there’s definitely something there to do with religions or race so if you’re from North London it could’ve been a Jewish community that you were in.

I’ve noticed with Sagittarius moons, they have very good wet and sense of humour. They don’t hold onto things for too long, although it doesn’t seem that way, they definitely keep themselves well together and well spoken and not too messy but don’t be fooled they’re still a Jupiter world sign And Sagittarius, you know how Sagittarius likes to have a bit of fun let’s say there is rising too and they have moon in the house they might be more rebellious because they’re ruling planet will be Jupiter, I have a cousin who has a Sagittarius moon, and she’s known as like a posh kind of single mum now, but back in the end she was doing Charlie with my uncle, being a naughty girl that a lot of us didn’t know about, another example, would be my brother’s ex-girlfriend of like 15 years. She was a dark horse, but obviously she was a Scorpio son. She always seemed well put together and tried not to say a thing of place which I get completely.. just be aware Sagittarius moons that even if you’re not on an adventure or you’re not going out meeting new people all the time that you’re still worthy of being happy, you can have fun with the smallest things in life that can give people pleasure, I would recommend even like a high intensity, sport or dance something that’s gonna be fun and not boring like the gym it could be yoga but I would definitely something more physical.

I’ve seen it with these two examples, where the generations of mothers and granddaughters and daughters are very close to each other, but may only be on a surface level and I’ve seen the other side of it where my cousin has the Sagittarius moon with felt like the least favourite child. The other two were rotten her brother, who was a couple years younger, and then her sister who is over a decade and a bit younger, so she had to have this positive Sagittarian outlook for her mental health.

I have also noticed that Sagittarius means a very good at telling stories and making people laugh of these stories by going into lots of funny craft details, and that is a way of having fun with people emotionally and connecting with them through laughter.

Celebrity examples

Sharon stone , Emma Watson , Jennifer Addison , trump, Justin timberlake, Adele, Oprah, Al Pacino, Vincent, Van Gogh, Naomi Campbell, Camila Cabello, John Mayer, Dakota Johnson xxxtentation, Charlie Sheen Hilary Duff, Selena Yoko, Lenny Kravitz, Scott Disick, Travis Scott, Chester Bennington, Ivanka, Trump, R. Kelly Anthony Kadis, Tiger Woods Ball, Rafi, Iggy Azalea, Andrew Tate, Judy Garland. Now do you see the dark sided ones hair because they’re really awesome dark side Sagittarius moons kind of like humans, but you can spot them out from the dark sided ones and the sided ones .

#astro observations #astro community #astro placements #astrology observations #astro notes #astrology #astroblr #pisces #aries #fypage #scorpio moon #libra vibes #libra moon #sagittarius moon

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lazlolullaby · 2 years ago

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Starmora is still canon, stop sinking your own ship

I'm not sure why people are mad or sad about the way Gunn "ended" the Starmora relationship? It's not over, it just went through a natural resting point after all of the stuff that happened in the plot???

Because even if the characters don't share a screen anymore, that doesn't mean it's over. That doesn't mean that love can't happen twice. Gunn has laid the groundwork - you can see it if you're looking at the characters.

Gamora has always been subtle. but she commits. She puts her whole traumatized heart into something if she believes that it's the right thing. She was raised by Freaking Thanos - she was (kinda) fine with him killing half the population but when Ronan wanted All of Xandar killed she Bolted. Betrayed Ronan and by proxy Thanos and Nebula.

After Endgame, she knows how to reach the Guardians if she wanted to. Heck, she's been talking with Nebula who respects that enough to only bring her on a mission that could kill a Guardian and end their found family.

About 75% of Gamora's lines are her denying that she's the same person. She's clearly pissed as hell that Peter is trying to "bring her back" when it's clear to her that she's fine without the Guardians.

At the end of the movie, if she wanted to be on the same team as Peter, she would have stayed on Knowhere. If she never wanted to see Peter again, she wouldn't have said anything.

By saying "I bet we were fun" its a signal to both Peter AND the audience that she is fine to stay in contact. That she acknowledges that her love with Peter could happen again.

As for Peter...

Peter loves HARD. He's never been subtle about it. He's never been subtle about feelings; happy, sad, angry, romantic - he boosts them up and uses them as a distraction, makes others think he's not sharp as an arrow.

He values Gamora's choices. We see him flirting at Knowhere, she pulls a knife on him and he doesn't directly flirt again for a while. You see that in Vol 2 when he's patient about her having feelings. He SHOT HER in Infinity War because she told him to. She's dead but she knows - she knows that's love.

We know he respects her choices in all situations...except in Vol 3. He's more childish and clingy especially compared to the other Guardians - they don't try as hard as Peter does to get her back. I feel like this is justified; he's already heavily traumatized from Infinity War and as acknowledged in the movie(!) Peter is dependent on Gamora in a way that the other Guardians aren't.

And with Vol 3, he's lost that part of him. He just wants "his Gamora" back. And it's cringy and sad and messed up.

You can parallel it to Thanos, who just saw "his little one", a daughter he trained to be a weapon and didn't acknowledge as a person. You can parallel it to the High Evolutionary, who wants his creations "perfect" and only sees Rocket as a failure that needs to be utterly destroyed.

(yeah it's a theme, its kickass writing, it's *chefs kiss* thank you mr. Gunn for tying this all up with a big fancy bow)

Peter is stronger than both of them. Able to move past what he thinks he needs and see Gamora as she is now instead of as he wants her to be.

"Like you wouldn't believe." He finally has something in his past that is complicated but at the end of the day, he can smile about it. An ending he can be at peace with.

Both of them know that they are not the same people that met on Xandar outside the pawn broker's shop. Fighting over their ticket out from under Yondu and Thanos.

But they know they could be good to each other again. It's just going to take some time apart.

#Starmora #gamora #Peter quill #star lord #Gotg vol 3 #gotg vol 3 spoilers #gotg 3 spoilers #Spoilers #lazlo's lulls #Ok you can call me Peter Quill for this post because I freaking love Gamora #also gotg 3 was peter quill at his worst his technically darkest #and he still was giving Gamora a choice to stay #but goddamn Gamora's line about what is wrong with yourself that I need to be someone else? HURTS #if more people thought of relationships that way - or checked in with that view every so often #dude there's a lot of healing and changing to be had if that happened #thanks mr gunn for the blorbos i'll take good care of them #and guys if you really want to write happy starmora without as much baggage #there's always exploring the 4 year gap inbetween vol 2 and Infinity War

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atopvisenyashill · 3 months ago

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do you think if the first blackfyre rebellion ever gets fleshed out, there would be parallels between daemon b's and daeron ii's relationship with jon's and robb's relationship? i've seen some ppl compare daena and lyanna (as they're both rebellious noblewomen with an affinity for horses) and combining that with the possibility of daena dying while daemon is young and leaving her son without a maternal influence, maybe daemon and daeron's relationship is what would've happened if robb was warier of jon and kept him at a certain distance.

i actually have another blackfyre ask that’s like “how could daeron have avoided the issue” and obviously there’s a lot of complications to this but my answer boils down to “just be robb and jon” aka stop treating your teenage brother like a threat and treat him like a brother. much easier said than done especially when you’ve got aegon the unworthy as your father instead of ned “the fucking man” stark but like…daeron is the adult in the room in this situation. daemon is like 14 when aegon dies. yes daemon is responsible for his own dumb ass decisions (and i can’t stress enough that he’s super dumb lmao!) but daeron has plenty of blame here.

so yes, i do think we’ll get kind of an anti jon/robb thing happening. i also suspect like you say, we’ll get some daena/lyanna(/baela/arya) parallels and i suspect we are going to get some elaena/rhaena/sansa stuff here as well. for me, a lot of the historical siblings are basically “what would happen if the starklings didn’t love each other?” it’s about watching these various configurations that feel familiar struggle to get things right over and over until we get to our main gaggle of siblings and find that the missing thing all along is that love, is that heart. for all his plethora of mistakes, i think the best thing ned ever did was teach all the starklings that their love for each other is an important guiding light and i think each of them clinging to that love and light will be what saves them at the end.

but before that comes all the ones who did it wrong, and that includes the great bastards + daeron and daenerys. for all the great bastards were dynastic threats, they were also daeron’s siblings and i think we’re like to get a nuanced and complex look at what happens when you are raised to see your family not as family but as a competitive danger.

#asks #anons

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queenofthursday6599-blog · 10 months ago

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Okay so I binged I Will Change The Genre manhwa last night and when I started googling stuff this morning I got confused.

In the localization that I read, it said that Larissa (Judith's sister and Luca's mom) died of the plague five years previous to the start of the story.

That's when Larissa sent the letter to Jonas (Luca's dad), and Jonas ignored it because he wasn't interested in acknowledging some random bastard.

The letter that Rudiger found after Jonas died in a horse riding accident and lead him to discover Luca existed in the first place and come to get him.

Judith took Luca in after Larissa's death, as his only remaining family member (that she knew of) when Luca was 5, and she was 22.

Like in the original timeline where she resents Luca, the fact that she got stuck raising Luca in her 20s instead of being able to date and find love is part of why she resents him.

If Larissa had died in child birth and Judith raised Luca his entire life, then she would have been raising him since she was 16/17 [when Rudiger asks if she's Luca's mother, she denies it, saying she would have been 16 when she had him].

But when I googled how Larissa died this morning, because I thought I'd waffle around with some fic I probably won't post, everyone keeps saying that she died in childbirth.

Like I literally brought up the page of the manhwa that talks about the death of Luca's mother, and it very clearly says she died of the plague five years previously. It's this one:

Right there. Died of the plague 5 years ago, and Luca is 10. So she definitely didn't die in childbirth like so many people keep saying she did.

Even the tvtropes page says Larissa died in childbirth. What's happening?

Though the tvtropes page is also under an alternate name, The Villainess Flips the Script, even though the picture it uses for the cover of the wanhwa still uses the title: I Will Change the Genre.

Which I assume is from the Light Novel. So maybe that's also where the "Larissa died in childbirth" story is coming from.

So Larissa doesn't die in childbirth (in the manhwa at least, but you know who does?

Now Luca's paternal grandmother Princess Vanessa did die due to complications giving birth to Jonas. So maybe people are conflating the two because Jonas and Luca look so similar. Not to mention it seems like Princess Vanessa and Larissa were similar kinds of people, who had sons who look basically identical.

Anyways I needed to vent about this because when I started googling, I thought I was going crazy, because I binged the whole manhwa in a single sitting, so I retained the vast majority of the story pretty clearly.

And I clearly remembered Judith's older sister dying of plague five years before the start of the story, but all of google (and reddit, and various forum sites) kept telling me that Judith's older sister died in childbirth.

So either I'm right and people are mixing up Larissa and Vanessa's deaths (or at least forgetting Larissa's and giving her the same death as Vanessa), or the localization I got changed things radically.

Which is totally possible. Like there's an entire chapter where Judith's name has been mistranslated as Eudith for some reason. It's not even like chapter 1, it's chapter 13 or something. She's Judith before that and Judith after that, and apparently this is all done by the same translator/localizer team so I don't know who dropped the ball on that but woof.

I can only imagine they were in a rush while translating that chapter, or someone who was new to this manhwa was way too confidant in their ability to guess what english name it was supposed to be, because J and E aren't even anywhere near each other on the keyboard. So it's definitely a translation error, rather than a typing mistake, especially when it's consistent through that whole chapter.

#I will change the genre #Judith maibaum #Larissa didn't die like that #I don't know why literally everything I can find except for the literal manhwa keeps saying she died like that #because she didn't

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egcdeath · 5 months ago

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OKKK back to discuss more succession patrick!

gender inverted tomshiv is so interesting because the BABY factor is so much more complicated and like you mentioned the underlying implications and reactions and power dynamics are a lot different. patrick seeing pregnancy as a power play especially if he really believes you when you first tell him because it IS a power play no matter what is wild!! it's real and you become parents and that's something only between the two of you but it's still the ultimate way you're bound to the family/company and the baby is still a symbol of those choices you've both made! and now you have to raise a child in this environment you've both fully given into and like kind of destroyed each other over even though you both know how much pain and pressure it causes on every level. you're each other's emotional crutch and i kind of think weirdly enough what you've done to each other would bring you closer together because over time all the hurt becomes shared hurt. it's comforting because in the end all you have is each other and you choose to share that because neither of you want to be alone and nobody else could possibly be there for you the way that your husband is and vice versa. where this dynamic goes post canon is really interesting to think about

the thing with patrick and nate!tashi and the control aspect makes so much sense because it also becomes part of your dynamic and to what you are to each other. like you both feel like shit afterwards. you know he cheated and that he didn't get what he thought he would out of it especially because he mostly just did it because he was getting scared of commitment and of the unpredictable nature of love and wanted to see how it would feel and how it would make you feel and react so then it becomes this sore spot later on. he loves you and doesn't want you to leave him or anything but he doesn't know how to channel his anxieties and fears and old habits elsewhere and it ends up turning into hurt for both of you ESPECIALLY on the wedding night when all you can think about is how your futures are permanently tied together.

this is getting real angsty but lack of communication in the marriage... missing the pre-marriage honesty and yearning for your own husband even though he's literally right there... you both feel like you're fighting for the other but the other isn't reciprocating except neither of you would even really know because talking means opening up a box of topics that you don't feel prepared to be honest about or to bring up again bc it still hurts... feeling shitty because you don't know if you can truly trust your spouse enough to talk openly as the complicated corporate warfare stuff progresses. just endless opportunities for brooding and sadness! the balance of love power status money and each other is truly not for the faint of heart and adding a baby into the mix? SO exhausting.

succession patrick my beloved!!!!

i’ve been thinking so much lately about how different but also similar the pregnancy ordeal would be for them since the genders are switched around. like i’m just imagining patrick having the “i should’ve had dogs” conversation with his mom that just seals the deal with him thinking that he’s never going to have kids. like obviously if he has children he will mess them up beyond compare. maybe he even has a moment where he comes to you in confidence and tells you about it and it’s devastating because after your period was late last week you took a test and well…

it just seems like it would be so difficult for both of you. for you, knowing that you actually do want children with patrick and knowing how he feels about family and his potential as a father and also being aware that your relationship is not currently in the best space….. but also that having his child will secure you (or at least your kid) in the family forever. no matter how many tashis or other women enter the picture, it won’t change the fact that you are his wife and the mother of his first born child! and you try not to frame it that way at first because a child is so innocent and pure and a blank slate that you shouldn’t project on before they’re even born… but the more betrayals that occur between the two of you and the further you start to drift, the more you have to face the reality that it’s going to seem like (and kinda be) a power play regardless.

and yes, you’re withholding the information. at first because it feels like terrible timing, but then it becomes somewhat of a power move as well. this whole time you’re thinking that you’re gonna pull this information out on patrick when he least expects it and finally get a leg up on him, but then it comes tumbling out. you really don’t mean to confess that you’re pregnant but the cats out of the bag—and the one time that it’s NOT supposed to be a power play, he asks you if it is. ouch.

i still need to ruminate on them as parents in my head. i do think that they would try to be better for the sake of their child. i do also think that they would crash and burn magnificently. but no matter how bad things get they will NEVER leave each other because they’re too emotionally dependent on one another. and i like how you said that their hurt eventually becomes shared hurt because i really think that it does!! no one can understand the other person like you do and no one can hurt you like you hurt each other. you and patrick truly match each other’s emotional freak.

thinking about patrick cheating out of fear of commitment and to see how far he could push you & the convo where caroline says that logan never saw anything he loved that he wouldn’t kick just to see if it would come back.

it’s implied that tom met shiv when she was at a really low point in her life and i’m carrying this assumption into this au. like i’m just imagining patrick being this mess who keeps having these casual meaningless hookups to try to feel any sense of power over himself or others since he’s never really had that in his own life, and constantly partying to try to find some sense of happiness that he’s still not getting, and him reverting to parts of his old self whenever he feels particularly out of control. and you know it’s happening and he feels like shit but he can’t stop himself!! oh pain!!

i just keep thinking about reader and patrick yearning for versions of each other that don’t exist anymore. like guys please just talk to each other… omg!!! and i think eventually you get to a point in your corporate civil war where you literally wish that there was none of this to begin with and that you could just run away with him on a yacht like all the other rich people do. like why did you have to marry the ONE rich guy in the world who insists on trying to get a job instead of just doing unemployed nepo baby shit???

anyway…. i love them and the angst dearly.

#neptune answers #succession au!patrick

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sunnybugz · 7 months ago

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papyrus, orchid, cactus, and daffodil for the ask game :)

papyrus : if you put your on repeat playlist on shuffle, what's the first song that comes up? what do you like about it/associate with it?

touch tank by quinnie !! it makes me think about my ex oops 😭 i used to listen to it and fantasize about us living together in a cute apartment and being in love 🙃 (almost two months post breakup and our 5 year anniversary would've been two weeks from now so im yearning srry) . i do still like the song bc it's horny bubbly yearning music which is my whole personality

orchid : what's a song you consider to be perfect?

ok this is so hard bc i LOVE music but here's a few :

red side of the moon - trixie mattel

good luck, babe! - chappell roan (BEEN ON LOOP SINCE IT CAME OUT)

broom people - the mountain goats

intersection - slaughter, beach dog

sober to death - car seat headrest

a pearl - mitski

townie - mitski

bridge over troubled water - simon and garfunkel

landslide - fleetwood mac (i want my first dance at my wedding to be to this song 💗)

riches and wonders - the mountain goats

cactus : something you're currently learning about ?

ok most of the stuff im learning is school stuff which is just theories of media whoops . learned a lot of music lately though !! i just finished my honour band program which was so fun and i learned so much about playing my instrument (trumpet) and a bunch of new music that actually challenged me

daffodil : do you have siblings ? in what ways are you similar or different to them ?

i have lots of siblings !! 4 or 5 (complicated question, you'll see why)

d (technically oldest sister) : ok so she's Very Dead like . died 20+ years before i was born but the only reason im including her is we look the EXACT SAME . which is weird bc i look exactly like my mom and we don't have the same mom ? but yeah

p (oldest sister who i count, 31) : we are scary similar 😭 once again we look the same (i look like my mom, she looks like her mom, our dad has a type) . we're both very positive people who love to look on the bright side, we're both very interested in activism, both extroverts, and we're both very resilient :'-) most of our differences are generational-- she's 31 and im 19. but she's also more forgiving than me oops i think i hold grudges a lot more which isn't necessarily a bad thing.

r (older sister, 28) : we are not very similar at all-- i don't get along w her very well bc of this and because we weren't raised together. however we both have very strong senses of justice and work at nonprofits !

r (older brother , 23) : we aren't very similar either-- he's rlly introverted and focused on his interests which differ wildly from mine (comics and dnd mainly). but we're both very friendly + very focused on our individual interests even if they're super different (aka the Autism ...)

d (younger brother , 16) : we are so different but also the Same Fucking Guy . my fav family member he is literally the fucking realest . idek how to explain our similarities he's just the only sibling im close in age with (2.5 years) and we Get Each Other . differences wise he's an athlete (star wrestler + football player) whereas i quit sports 5 years ago, he plays video games and i don't, and he gets pissed off way easier but yk . 16 year old boy 😭 we also look SUPER similar especially when we were younger, except he has brown eyes and mine are green (and his eyebrows are 1000× better than mine NATURALLY)

#personal #asks #soleil speaks

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badnikbreaker · 1 year ago

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sonic continues to feel the aftershocks of frontiers — in a lot of ways, some big, some small.

some small. some of his memories are still gone — more of them are hazier than they once were. he's conscious of an empty space, but can't recall what filled it, once. he's hoping the missing pieces will fill back in with time. ( normally, sonic doesn't care about the past. he's not bothered by organic loss of memories over time, but the idea of them being taken — he's trying not to think about what it means that, just this once, he really, really wants them back. )

he's always been prone to losing time, especially after forces. even before that, though...you experience life so fast, time's meaning gets fuzzy. but it's worse now. it's easy for him to look up and an hour's past, and he — he wasn't here. he can't remember what he thought about for an hour, if he thought. the days blur together, and he's never quite sure what day or even month it is. seasons have outward things he can track, so that's as minute as he can go, generally.

some big. he forgets tails's name in a heated moment — not forgets tails, could never forget his little brother, but there's no name to the love, even if only for a second.

some big. he loved sage, y'know? they didn't know each other long, but he loved sage. it was incredible, watching this contruct that eggman made slowly start to grow into a real, whole person. he was so excited to see more of that. he really thought he could protect her. he's not — guilty, exactly. but he's grieving in a way that he doesn't know how to share with the others, that he wouldn't want to share with the others, even if he could. the others who are —

some big.

— who are leaving him.

( and even that thought makes his hackles raise, because he's so happy for all of them — he's so proud of tails for going it on his own and so proud of amy for exploring and spreading her love and so proud of knuckles for learning how to live for himself! he'd never want them to deny their own freedom for his sake! but they're his family and he's going to miss them so, so bad — and he knows it. and he'd never really had to know it until it was a reality. )

he's fine! he's used to running solo, and he's good at moving on, repressing, brushing past the bad stuff. so what if he never knows what day of the week it is anymore and he's not entirely sure where he and knuckles had their first fight. most of the time, he's not thinking of it, which means he's fine. but it's all complicated, which is NOT sonic's MO. he likes things simple, he likes himself simple — a guy who loves adventure. he's not supposed to have PATHOS! he doesn't know how to deal with this, so he just...doesn't, even on the days when he's looking at gift from amy and can't remember when she gave it to him or what she said when she did.

a lot of this is worsened by the events of forces that he never dealt with, and his time in cyberspace interacts really poorly, in terms of his mentality and how he categorizes events in his memories, with his memories of null space and his time eggman's prisoner. it's just — A LOT!

#and nevermind everything in idw........#my boy needs a few yrs where nothing happens and hes never gonna get it and he knows it </3 #sonic : headcanon.

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peace-coast-island · 1 year ago

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Diary of a Junebug

The snowy village by the cliffs of Dartwich Tundra

I don’t know whose idea was it to have daydream stems only grow in the side of the steepest cliffs ever and then make them a sought after ingredient for potions. Hunter felt bad as he was the one who wanted to make the cloud walking elixir for an experiment. I’d say it was his professor’s fault for leaving out crucial information that would’ve made him reconsider.

That’s not to say that he doesn’t have the talent but safety’s an important consideration, especially for someone like Hunter who has limited mobility. You’d think his professor would’ve been like, “hey, this guy’s an amputee who has to use crutches to walk, maybe I shouldn’t be making him navigate steep cliffs in order to get these plants.” or something.

He was understandably ready to call it off but Luna and Mariposa were determined to get them for him as the project’s a pretty big deal. The rest of us were willing to help too as he’s already worked so hard, so why not assist him in going that extra mile? Luna said that Cassie had that professor and there’s a reason why he’s so polarizing. In other words, if he’s actively seeking you out and mentoring you, that’s a huge deal. Hunter’s not so sure what’s special about him but he’ll take it.

Aside from that, the main reason why we’re in Dartwich is just to hang out. It just happened to work out that Giulia invited Almie, Daisy Jane, Pippa, and I to the village for a little retreat. Annie’s here too with her friend’s family so they’re usually out skiing. Giulia’s alternating with the friend’s mom on accompanying the kids and taking some much needed time off. It’s good to see her and Annie again. I’m glad they found each other.

Pippa’s doing well and she’s been busy preparing for college after deciding that she was going to wait until fall rather than start in the spring. Ever since the bone marrow transplant she’s been trying to slow down and take it easy. Health wise, things are looking good, but obviously she has to take care of herself or else it’ll all be for nothing. Even though the chances of a relapse are super low, she’s vulnerable to infections and complications, something she’ll have to deal with the rest of her life. However, compared to cancer, this is no big deal.

All of this hasn’t been easy on Almie, who’s been a rock the whole time. As the oldest, it’s not always easy being the one who has to hold the fort. It always bothers me when people write him off as a goofball who has no direction and doesn’t take things seriously. Sure, he’s the kind of person who jokes around to lighten things up and may seem a bit too relaxed, but he’s had his share of sorrow. After all, he had to help his mom raise his siblings and take care of affairs when his dad died and that’s not easy.

He’s selfless and has sacrificed so much for his siblings, and yet some people give him grief for that. At least one of them’s grateful. Almie’s content living life day to day with no big ambitions and dreams. As long as everyone’s happy and he gets to do stuff he enjoys without regrets, that’s all he really wants out of life. Why some people have a problem with that, I’ll never know.

Hunter’s adjusting well to life in Rosevine and being Luna’s apprentice. Mariposa’s been busy with work and looking preparing for college but she still finds time to visit. Her mom opened her own practice in Chainworth, which is half an hour from Rosevine, so Mariposa’s working as a receptionist until they can find a couple of people to take over when she needs to focus on her studies.

Angie and Willow are doing well too, just busy with college and adjusting to everything. Willow made the Dean’s List, something Emmy has been bragging about online, especially since the field of study she chose to pursue isn’t easy. The fact that she, a freshman, was accepted is a huge accomplishment as most don’t usually apply until their second or third year.

Meanwhile, Angie’s joined an organization on conservation of endangered plant species, which she said is very eye opening. She’s posted many of their lectures online and I watched one of them out of curiosity. I don’t know much about that kind of topic but it was still very interesting. The lectures are kinda long so I haven’t watch any others yet, but I want to make the time to.

Anyway, back to the daydream stems. Yeah, those were a pain to get, but it’s worth helping a friend. Like I said, Hunter’s been through hell and back, and he’s a hard worker, so he deserves the best. That professor damn well better take note of him and his achievements.

Of course, safety comes first. Standing on an icy cliff is scary. Hunter wanted to help but we felt it was best for him to stay away from the edge, especially since he probably shouldn’t be making the trek anyway with his crutches and all. I wasn’t able to do too much either because I’m too short. Plus I have a hard time getting up after being bent over for a while, meaning that I need someone - usually Luna - to help me up. So, basically, it was mostly Luna and Almie who got the stems.

Thankfully, that whole thing only took a day. I think we could’ve easily taken some breaks in between but we just wanted to get it done and over with. Daydream stems can be easily preserved and Hunter still has to do a lot of prep before getting started, so it makes sense to get that out of the way first. That way, we can spend the rest of the time chilling and enjoying the tundra.

Skiing’s a popular activity up here, though you have to make a reservation in advance, which we didn’t. I don’t really mind as it’s not really an activity I’d gravitate towards. If I was invited, I’d go, but it’s not something I’d consider a priority to put in my itinerary. Aside from Annie, the rest of us aren’t too interested in skiing either, so it’s no big deal.

What we’re interested in is the village, particularly the gingerbread huts. They were designed by a group of architects a century ago as part of some project. The gingerbread huts served as research centers for a time. After that it was considered a historical landmark and turned into a walk in museum that’s open every day for visitors.

The gingerbread huts were nice to look at and walk around in. I found it fascinating to see the rooms where people would do their research. There’s loads of equipment and files of valuable information, all of these people’s hard work and dedication, funny how a bunch of rooms can hold so much history. A lot of the equipment are original, though a lot of the paperwork and books are copies as the real ones are stored somewhere else.

I think what gets to me the most is that the place does and doesn’t feel like a research lab. The outside is not what you’d expect from a science-y building. Like, gingerbread huts, like what? But that was part of the charm and appeal. And even with all those rooms and equipment there still seems to be that homey vibe. Like, it’s comfortable, but in a way that makes you feel like you can take on the world kinda vibe. Productivity, but with purpose, and without the pressure.

According to Giulia, this area was kinda like a college town before the university closed. The old campus is now a community center. She actually knew someone who attended the university and was part of the final commencement ceremony before it closed its doors for good. The place is huge and I bet it was a nice campus back in the day. Again, it has a similar homey vibe as the research centers. And it definitely has the vibe of a college town, except probably a lot more quieter.

Although the university is gone, its coffee shop, The Little Brew, is still in business. Being in a place as cold as this, hot drinks are a must. Black roast lattes are said to be an ancient recipe that has remained a staple in the cafe since it opened. However, the flavor’s quite strong, so it’s not a popular selection. Most people order it out of curiosity because of its historical significance, which was why I wanted to try it out.

The barista warned us that it was super strong, so they advise caution if you’re sensitive to caffeine or have a heart condition or take certain meds - they have those warnings for a reason. I took that into account and split it between me, Almie, and Giulia.

All I can say about the taste is that it’s really strong and dark. And yeah, the barista wasn’t exaggerating. I only had like a shot glass size and my heart was racing. Good thing I didn’t have to use my inhaler today or else I wouldn’t be having a good time. Almie found it too strong for him to handle and gave the rest to Pippa, who finished it and wasn’t too crazy about it either. Giulia liked it but also found the caffeine a bit too much, and she’s the kind of person who lives on black coffee.

Another nice place I checked out was the tea shop. Along with tea, they also sell cute little home decor stuff and tea sets. There was a sale on teacups so I bought a few. They’re all locally handmade, microwave and dishwasher safe, and also very pretty. I also happen to have a bunch of crochet coasters that’ll go perfectly with them.

There was also a yarn shop and I had drop by. It makes sense for a tundra to have a lot of good quality wool as well as a big fiber arts community. The shop’s owned by an indie dyer and knitwear designer whose works I have come across occasionally. She mostly does bulky and super warm knits because she’s from here, which is why I don’t usually gravitate towards them, but her patterns do look nice. She does have a nice variety of yarns so I wanted to check that out. She also happened to be having a sale so I took the opportunity to prepare for my next knitwear project.

Today’s a chill and stay inside day because there’s a small storm outside. The timing’s good as we were busy out and about since we got here, so we needed a chill day. I’m using this opportunity to finish my latest knitting project since it’s so close to being done. Plus, my next project with my new yarn uses the same needles, so I’m looking forward to casting that on.

Aside from meeting up with the others for breakfast and lunch, I’ve been cuddled up in my room. It’s cold, so I kinda feel like a potato, but at least I’m getting my knitting done while binging on a bunch of videos. And as nice and cozy it is in here, I’m looking forward to another fun day out when the storm subsides and the sun returns.

Read on AO3

#animal crossing #animal crossing pocket camp #diary of a junebug #headcanon ramble

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openpassionates · 1 year ago

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prcttylittlebirds·:

rafael’s relationship with his father is special. he’s his only biological son, but not his first experience with stepping up as a father so, raf agrees with venus. “he’s the sweetest man you’ll ever meet. he met my mom when she was twenty-five and by then she had already had my brother and sister. he fell in love with her and raised them with her and married her then had me a few years later.” he had never been around any man that set low standards or disrespected the women in their lives, so he wouldn’t dare treat venus poorly. he sips on his wine as he listens to venus share some facts about the goddess she was named after. as she’s talking he’s elated by the sound of her voice. “i’m just interested in you and your beautiful name…” his smile grows more with each word that leaves her lips. “yeah, your mom definitely named you perfectly. that’s amazing how spot on your name is.” he knows how he must sound. raf secretly had a love for knowledge and learning new things. he was a fast learner. having hobbies such as sewing, knitting, carpentry and gardening. “i like learning, if you haven’t gotten that already.” he wants to hold her hand, but he doesn’t this time. the look in his eyes say enough, even though he’s unaware. he can spot his cousin peeking over at then from another table so, he gives her a quick look that tells her that she’s been caught. he’s almost certain venus didn’t see her — good. “we can tell her before we leave? or you can… i’ll be a statue.” he chuckles, sighing in amusement. he nods, understanding that she might not have time to spend with him. “oh okay, i understand. you’re busy. that’s okay. maybe next time?” being friends isn’t something rafael necessarily wants but he’d be okay with it. it’s too bad that they’ve already crossed so many lines, passing friendship, leaving it in the dust. “so, what else can you share about the album? this is rafi the fan speaking now.”

RAFAEL’S FAMILY EXPERIENCE eerily almost sounds like what venus hoped would happen if she were to pursue any other relationships since she’s no longer rekindling anything with her exes. “he sounds very sweet and i love that you speak so highly of him. i think a guy that would go above and beyond for a woman like that is rare. especially one who’s willing to adapt to dating someone who’s a mom. how do i love your parents and i haven’t met them?” she chuckles. she wanted to know more about rafael’s parents from the sources themselves but she figures that she will some other time. after all, she unexpectedly met two family members tonight as is. as venus talks about her name, she takes notice of just how attentive rafael is. his smile is warm and his eyes are bright, and it makes her feel like they could talk to each other forever and never get tired. “i think it’s a combination of that and you trying to make me blush. you’re being all cutesy and stuff.” she rolls her eyes, though she still has a smile printed on her face. she takes another sip of her wine, giving a nod of approval afterwards. she refuses to drink too much of it because it could either lead to her trying to talk him out of his pants or her falling asleep right at the table. “if she’s as big of a fan as you say she is then it should be a we thing.” venus has seen crying faces, shaky hands and other signs of people being completely starstruck all day. she’s about to answer his question until she sees their food make an appearance. she thanks the waiter with an accompanying smile and nod. “i don’t think there’s anything left to share about it. it’s just me documenting my grudges and experiences with everyone that i’ve had something with in the past few years, you know? i’m ready to leave all of that behind now but it ends with some optimism. i don’t rule love out completely but it’s not a priority at all when i have my children and my career.” she begins. “love is so complicated for me. the album ends like that because i’m hoping i can get there. but until then, i can talk shit about exes and sing about my trust issues and sex so hey.”

openpassionates:

THE RELATIONSHIP THAT rafael’s parents share sounds exactly like what venus has always strive for. she sees love as a beautiful thing but she thinks that she might’ve gotten unlucky in that department. “that’s very sweet. he needs to host a masterclass on how to be a decent man for sure. it’s a lost art. your family’s bond is like an inspiration for me. i love it.” ironically since she’s been married multiple times, venus couldn’t imagine someone loving her to the extent of knowing about her culture. no one has ever bothered to learn more about her Black or mexican heritage. rafael being a gentleman makes sense with his upbringing. his father seemed to be the perfect role model. “you’re too much with your compliments tonight. are you trying to get me to blush? but thank you. wow. you’ve really lived ten different lives. i wasn’t too interested in the mythology stuff but she made sure i knew the whole thing about the romans. venus fucked with men and women, was always drawn naked, is the goddess of procreation and she had some connection with wine. i don’t remember the whole lore but still, perfect name choice. in greek mythology, she would be aphrodite.” she had to laugh to herself for a minute because even she knows how much she sounded like her mother. venus wishes that her relationship with her parents wasn’t so estranged. she’s glad that her random knowledge gave her the chance to nerd out with rafael for a bit. she shakes her head and fails to hide her incoming smile once he picks up on what she was requesting without her having to say it aloud. “i’m the girl for both so whatever she wants to do, we can make it happen somehow.” she doesn’t know his cousin but she’s open to helping her just off the strength of her relation to rafael. the family that she’s met tonight were infectiously kind. “oh, i don’t know. i’ll probably get back to the hotel late tomorrow night. everything will be closed by then and i’ll have to get up early anyway.” hanging out as friends was possible for venus but she’d admit that she would miss the making out that would sometimes lead to something more. she only wonders if it’s possible for rafael because of how much he likes to flirt.

#prcttylittlebirds #⌜ *・°☆ venus interacts. ⌟

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mortalisangelus · 2 years ago

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Everywhere you go i hope you know you're never alone.

Summary:

A female perspective on dealing with love, losing people, growing up and the effects one person can have in the space of a year while navigating complicated families, mental health, and education.

A teen girls admittance of bottled up emotions in the form of a one sided conversation addressed to a boy who will never know her feelings. Her feelings for him is the start of a realisation and year long journey of growth, anger and feminine frustration.

TW - underage drinking, talks of abuse, depression, anxiety, mature topics

Chapter 1: Unexplained explanation

I hate you so much but I can’t stop thinking about you. At first you were only a name I heard from my friend, well my best friend at the time, Flossie. She would talk about you non-stop and I think it’s because she liked you a lot. Most the stuff she said about you was kinda negative. I read somewhere that when people constantly bring up someone in a way to put them down, when the person hasn’t done anything, it’s usually because they like them and are trying to find ways to talk about that person without raising suspicion. I’m not entirely sure on the validity of that, but I’m half convinced there’s some truth behind that idea. Anyways, I heard about you before I even met you. You and my friend had some sort of thing going on between You two, if it was romantic I cannot say for sure but I have a strong inclination it was. I don’t think you would have ever been right for each other, you were both too different. I remember her talking about the arguments you’d have, it’s a good thing you were never together. Perhaps I say that selfishly, but I remember thinking that before I ever met you. Although nothing happened and you two moved on,I don’t think she ever did, and maybe you didn’t either. That’s not something I’ll ever know. Well, either way the truth is there’s something about you that entices people in but you’re too noncommittal to ever let people satisfy their curiosity.

You’re a Handsome man and you know you are and you receive plenty of attention, you know how to play up your allure, annoyingly. Your demeanour and your looks match each other well, but your personality is one that surprised me at first. All I knew of you before I met you was a second hand impression attached with pictures I’d seen on social media. From what I’d been told you were some sort of player, with this aloof arty in a writer type of way, with some angsty attitude somewhere in the mix. The trouble is knowing things about you from someone else meant I knew things you never told me and maybe for personal reasons. I feel bad about it now, although at the time I was only listening to a new story my friend had, what could be wrong with that? The more I got to know you on my own I felt like we had more and more in common. In fact I found you to be a really diligent and smart person, with a secret soft side. My friend told me about your past and about how your sister made false allegations of abuse against you and your dad, causing your family to drift apart. You made it very clear that you didn’t like your sister, which, to be honest came off slightly weird as you never disclosed this to anyone else. Knowing the deeper reason I can sympathise, especially as a similar situation happened with me. I never told you this but my brother was physically abusive to me, my sisters and mum. On multiple occasions the police had to get involved. This is something I’ve never really told anyone and I know you’ll never know this but I just wanted you to know I get it. I’m sorry I know about it.

In reality it’s silly how much of an impact you’ve had on me, I keep talking about how before I met you but I’ve only ever actually met you in person a handful of time. Most of the time we spoke it was via text or message embarrassingly on Snapchat, oh and there was lots of calls on Facetime. I can remember every time I met you and all the thoughts I had and my feelings around those times. I’ve known you for just over a year; you’ve changed my life greatly in that time, but for you? It’s like I entered and left yours without any evidence I was ever there. I have so many things I wanna say to you or admit to you but I can’t and never will. I’ve never met someone who has made me so upset, happy, confused, and frustrated all at once. My situation that adds a secondary layer to my friendship to you is confusing but makes a little bit of sense of all that went on, what I felt and maybe still feel. This is a layer I need to explore in words for myself as I write this. I speak addressing you in this, but I hope you understand this is more an exercise for me. I need to make sense of who I’ve been over the last year or so, and let myself move on emotionally from a part of my life that I can’t figure out. A map of the times we met, our calls, you, what everything meant to me. A route to understanding my place as a woman, and the helplessness I feel.

It’s not all your fault, but I’d like to at least hear you say “I’m sorry”, Benji.

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davyjoneslockr · 2 years ago

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For the headcanon thing: Mista 😎

(For this)

Sorry this took so long, I've been busy but I'm working on answering all the stuff in my ask box so don’t worry :]

Headcanon A: realistic

Okay maybe not ~super~ realistic but whatever. He was raised by nuns. He was the product of a very short-lived fling between his mother, an immigrant, and his father, The Entire Horse himself. He was born after his father left, and his mother died due to health complications soon after - having no family in Italy, and worried at the prospect of her son growing up as an orphan without moral guidance, she arranged to have him taken in by the convent of the Catholic church she attended.

This had both good and bad impacts on Mista. He quickly came to love the women raising him as his family, and he found comfort in both the reliable structure of day-to-day life and in his faith, which he carries with him into adulthood. At the same time, being raised in such a strongly Catholic environment while having undiagnosed OCD did not always mix well, especially when he got intrusive thoughts, or developed maladaptive beliefs tied to religion ("God will hate me if I do X arbitrary thing," "I will be divinely punished if I don't do Y compulsive action," etc).

Eventually, it gets to be too much, and he decides to run away in his mid teens. For a while, he thought about returning, but going to prison and joining Bucciarati's gang took him in a different direction. While he claims he doesn't need to go back now, since he has a new family who he loves more than anything, there's a part of him that's afraid to go back. After everything he's done since leaving, he's not sure he'd be able to face the women who raised him - people he'd considered unbreakably virtuous and pure. He doesn't let it show, but deep down, he struggles with a lot of good old Catholic Guilt.

Headcanon B: while it may not be realistic it is hilarious

Likewise maybe this is actually realistic but I don't care it's funny. He's a stoner. He goes behind Bucciarati's back and uses his Epic Mafia Connections to buy weed. Probably makes his own edibles, which he has to hide from Bruno in increasingly ridiculous ways. "Yeah no Bucciarati don't worry I always keep cookies in my sock drawer. It's uh. So the others can't steal them y'know. No you can't have one. Why does it smell bad in here? It's uh. Giorno turned my shoe into a skunk earlier. Yeah he does that a lot. That's a normal thing he does. Please leave now."

Narancia's also a stoner on the same level (love wins <3) and Fugo will partake occasionally if it's with them. A lot of their dumbest debates start this way, because Mista is convinced that he is super smart and philosophical when he's high (he's not) and he always raises the most fake deep questions ever. They try to listen to music together while they’re high, but they always end up arguing because Fugo wants to listen to Are You Experienced or Surrealistic Pillow or something, while Mista’s weed music is just like. Jimmy Buffett and The Beach Boys. If it's just him and Narancia, they usually end up cuddling and rambling to each other until they decide some word or phrase is funny. They will then just sit and say it over and over, echoing each other, and giggling like idiots until they fall asleep snuggled together.

Headcanon C: heart-crushing and awful, but fun to inflict on friends

Okay if you’ve seen at least one (1) of my posts before you’ll know this but. Mista takes a long time to recover from the events of Vento Aureo.

For starters, his relationship with Giorno is basically shattered. Even though he initially saw him as a younger brother figure, he loses all trust in him after discovering Bucciarati’s body, and he truly, genuinely hates him for a long time afterwards. He doesn’t bother caring for someone who showed him no sympathy in the aftermath of his loved ones’ deaths, and it’s only his desire for stability that keeps him loyal to his cause. They do make up eventually, but it takes years, and while they’re polite with each other, they’re never quite friends again.

He fights with Fugo a lot when he returns, too, but unlike with Giorno, they eventually rekindle their friendship. In fact, it’s arguably stronger now, after they’ve lost nearly everyone they loved. It’s always haunting, though, when they’re alone together, and there’s an ever-present void, an empty space that another person used to fill. Still, they lean on each other - and even though it stings when Fugo and Giorno fall in love, Mista grins and bears it. At least Fugo gets to have a happy ending.

Mista, on the other hand, doesn’t. He goes through a number of flings, hooks up with people here and there, but he never falls in love again after Narancia dies. He keeps telling himself he needs to get over it - what kind of person can’t get over the equivalent of their high school sweetheart? - but his mind, subtly or unsubtly, is always fixated on the way he loved him. He finds that the romantic comedies he used to love are hard to watch, nowadays; even if it’s just a movie, it’s painful seeing something that had once been so close, but is now far, far from his reach.

He grieves, and he processes his trauma, and he grows to live with it, eventually. But he’s never the same carefree, jovial person he used to be.

Headcanon D: unrealistic, but I will disregard canon about it because I reject canon reality and substitute my own.

Listen. I’m sick of seeing fanart where he’s a generic white skinny anime boy with short straight hair and a six pack. The Mista who lives in my head has textured curls and body/facial hair and is a little chubby and I’ll never change my mind on that.

Oh also y’know all that stuff I said about Narancia being dead? Yeah fuck that. They live in Mista’s apartment together and eventually they buy a house in the countryside, and it’s disorganized and cluttered but it’s their home. They play their music loud and dance together in the kitchen, and they grow old and love each other even more as the years go by. I don’t know if they’d have a kid, but if they did, I could see them having a son, and Mista would sing to him every night, and they’d frantically call each other into the room so they could watch his first steps, or hear his first word, or see something he built out of toy blocks. They’d be the coolest uncles to Fugio daughter also. Idk man they just deserved to find peace and happiness I think.

#i need to compile all of my mista headcanons sometime. just have a mista thoughts directory #jjba #jjba headcanons #guido mista #naramis #cw religion #cw drugs

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guaxinimraccoon · 3 years ago

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jesus christ why-

oh mY DEAR GOD-

FIRST OF ALL I'm SO sorry for taking so damn long to answer those, I've been really really busy and I'm very sorry, I'm doing my best to answer everybody ; o ;

BUT FINALLY let's talk about our big last Euphoria reveal (about four months ago but ok-), where I showed you guys that Alex is Brad's father and Elisa is Toby's mom.

"BUT GUAX WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK??? HOW?? WHEN??? WHERE??"

SHUSH , CALM YOUR TITS DOWN and let me explain:

Ok, so I'll be putting some links here and there because yes, Alex and Elisa's story is very, VERY connected to Brad and Toby's.

And get ready for a veeeeeeeeeeeeery long post. You were warned.

As you all already know, Alex and Elisa had a troublesome meeting, but eventually got closer to each other, they fell in love yadda yadda yadda BUT their will to get closer to each other, in other words, their relationship brought HUGE consequences.

Yes, they did manage to build a healthy relationship, they were happy, they were fine.

But they were also adults, adults that wanted something serious and concrete, they couldn't spend the rest of their lives as forbbiden lovers.

So Elisa did something literally illegal. She did a potion that was forbidden by the Colony authorities - a shrunken potion - to get closer to Alex.

Those potions were never developed, they're rustic and really antique, so they could do more harm than good or not work at all.

But Alex didn't care, he took the risk and drank the potion to get closer to his girl, the woman that was the love of his life.

The effect of the potion is temporary, so Alex would drink them from time to time whenever he had the opportunity to visit the Colony, spend some time with Elisa and, of course, be a part of her life.

He wasn't just trying to "be like her", he was also trying to be a part of her home. He made friends with her friends, he met her family, he met new imps, new fairies, all of it under his "imp disguise". He even fought for the Colony at it's war times (that is lasting till the current story time). He EVEN presented himself with a more “impish name” - Turk - to make sure people wouldn’t suspect anything.

Of course, people eventually started to ask why didn’t he live in the Colony with Elisa, why did he only showed up from time to time. Alex and Elisa lied, obviously, they told everyone that Alex belonged to a secluded imp tribe that lived walking around the forest as nomads, which made sense since those types of imp communities do exist.

ANYWAY THE POINT IS Alex grew affectioned of those people and with their lifestyle. He started to feel like he was one of them.

And, of course, he was now closer than he ever was to Elisa.

Since they were different species, they never worried about having kids. I’ve never said this before but Alex is a doctor, he knows about this stuff, so he always made sure to reassure Elisa that "they were their own condon" and, as sad as it may sound, they couldn't have kids.

... Or so Alex thought.

You know how tigers and lions can have offspring together? Yeah, it's the same thing.

It's very hard to happen, but they spent YEARS together if you know what I mean so yeah

That's how Alex and Elisa gave birth to their first child: Tobias, the only one of a specie that is a mix between human and imp.

His parents were really worried at first, afterall, they new NOTHING about Toby's condition. They didn't know if he was going to grow as large as a human or if he'd assume imp proportions forever. After some research with his son's blood, Alex found out that Toby was indeed half human and half imp, but he was predominantly physically an imp. That means his biological features are, mostly, imp like: he'd hardly grow as large as a human through his life's course and could live as a normal imp in the Colony. The fact that he showed talent for magic (once he was old enough to do so) and was able to do it just like any other imp in the Colony also made things easier.

Elisa and Alex chose to raise Toby in the Colony, they believed it’d be healthier and safer for him (especially after some events that I’ll be talking about in other posts), although it hurt Alex to pretend that he was an imp to his son and that he couldn’t see him everyday.

Even if they couldn’t see each other everyday, Alex and Toby were very close. Toby loved his daddy very much and was very attached to him.

After five years after Toby was born, Elisa got pregnant again and gave birth to their second child: Bernardo (that’d eventually be nicknamed as “Brad”), one of the two only beings of the specie Alex and Elisa accidently created together.

For preucation, Alex took a bit of Brad’s blood and made some research, just like he did to Toby.

And what he found out wasn’t exactly... relieving.

Brad, just like Toby, was half human and half imp, but he had expressed mostly human features in his physical body. He was as small as a baby imp now, but it was a matter of time until he started to grow very VERY large.

Unlike Toby, Brad couldn’t live as an imp in the Colony and things got very complicated for them.

Alex wanted to leave. He told Elisa the Colony’s community would NEVER accept their youngest, they would never accept Alex and probably wouldn’t accept Toby either. They had to leave that place before they couldn’t hide the truth anymore, even if it cost revealing Toby, a five year old child, that most of his life was a lie.

But Elisa was hesitant. She didn’t want to leave her home, her parents, her friends. She knew Alex was right, they couldn’t stand that play for too long, but how to leave everything she had built behind? How to leave everything she knew as home behind? It wasn’t that easy.

Until something very bad happened.

Remember I said Alex made a few friends in the Colony? So, one of them was Stefan, a experienced fairy soldier that had known Elisa for as long as she was alive. He was pretty much her best friend (even if he was old enough to be her father) and now he was also great friends with Alex.

Stefan is important here. He has a very tragic backstory involving humans. He lost pretty much everything to them: his whole family and his wings, something that meant more than just flying to him.

So, as expected, he hates humans and truly believes that they are nothing more than monsters that try to manipulate you and to get advantage from imp’s and fairy’s magic.

After some years, he started to get very suspicious over Alex. Some things weren’t making any sense anymore and that “nomad imp community” was starting to sound way more like an excuse than the actual truth. He simply didn’t understand what was stopping him to live with Elisa and his sons for once.

So he did some investigation. One day, he followed Alex (that he knew as Turk) out of the Colony, in one of the days he had only come to visit his family. Alex had said earlier that he had to “go back to his own society”. Yeah, right. Stefan was hiding the whole time and followed Alex till a good distane from the Colony’s limits.

And he didn’t get exaclty happy to see his best friend growing impossibly huge out of nowhere.

Stefan now knew the truth: Alex was pretending to be an imp using shrinking potions. He didn’t belong to any nomad imp group, he was a human that lived in his own house and was coming to the Colony to play family with them.

Of course, he didn’t only felt betrayed, but pissed as fuck. Stefan didn’t waste any time: as soon as Alex came back to the Colony he confronted him. Alex tried to explain himself, but they only argued and ended up having a pretty bad fight.

In anger, Stefan didn’t want to hear no more explanations, so he told some of the Colony’s high authorities about Alex’s lies and that they had to do something about it.

The Colony’s Council decided to call Elisa and solve things between imps and fairies only. But they showed her no mercy.

They basically gave her two options: or she’d prove her loyalty to the Colony and would kill her husband and her human son, or the Colony would sentence all of them to death penalty, including Toby and Brad, children that they claimed should have never been born.

Elisa was in shatters. She didn’t know what to do. She couldn’t kill the man she loved and her baby child, she just couldn’t. She was about to accept the second option, rathering die with her family than killing them, but Stefan decided to help her out.

He wasn’t expecting the Council to be so cruel and he started to regret his decisions the moment he saw how Elisa was worried about her family and how much she loved them, even if they were human. He hated Alex and Brad, but seeing Elisa in excruciating pain over them was impossible for him, so he made up a plan with her to save everybody.

It cost Elisa to trust Stefan, he had told their secrets to the worst people possible, but she had no option aside from accepting his help and following his plan.

The plan was simple: Elisa would tell the Council she’d kill Alex and Brad and would tell Alex that she had changed her mind and that they should leave the Colony as soon as possible now that Stefan knew the truth.

Alex believed her and, after Stefan’s confirmation, so the Council did. The next step was to take Alex and Brad to the Colony’s limits, pretending they were about to leave.

Then it happened.

Elisa made, with Stefan’s help, a huge barrier on the Colony’s frontier that didn’t allowed humans to cross it. It was basically a security method that they never thought it’d be necessary.

But now it was and it wasn’t meant to protect the ones inside the Colony...

Of course, Alex didn’t understand SHIT.

He spent MONTHS returning to the Colony in his shrinking form, trying to find a way to cross the barrier and to get Toby back.

Or to talk to Elisa.

Or to understand.

Or anything.

He just wanted his family.

Eventually, his potions ended and he was left to raise Brad on his own and to never see his wife and oldest son again.

Since then, he hates Elisa. Or at least thinks he does. He’s just deeply mad at her, he doesn’t understand why she left them.

He did everything for her. Denyed his own race, submitted himself to the dangerous effects of a extremely nocive potion which he faces the consequences till this day, did his fucking best to be the best father and husband his family could have-

All this love, all this effort, all this sweat and blood

Wasted.

It took years for him to fully recover. Aside from the health problems the abusive use of the shrinking potions brought, he also became alcohoolic. Because he wasn’t mentally estable enough, neither to take care of himself and of his very very small son, he went to live in his parents house. His family knew about Elisa and the children they had together, his folks actually liked her a lot so it saddened them as well that she simply abandoned Alex and Brad and that they would never see Toby again.

His family didn’t had to worry about Brad’s very little size for too long though, before he was one year old he had already reached his human size.

Anyway, Alex’s family gave him a huge help until he was healthy enough to take care of Brad, the only one left from the family he built.

Back to Elisa, she didn’t told Alex her plan because she KNEW he wouldn’t want to do it. She simply knew Alex would be too stubborn. He’d have wanted to try to escape or to face the Council. Both alternatives would get them all killed.

Toby didn’t understand why his mother did what she did. He was forced to go back home with her, screaming the whole time, saying that they left his father and brother behind while Elisa was crying endelessly.

Stefan came to them eventually and calmed Toby down. His heart broke when he saw Elisa. She was... not okay.

Unfortunately, he didn’t have time to assist her. He immediatly went to a representent of the Council and took them to Elisa and to the Colony’s frontier to prove that she had done it and did even more than she was suppose to. Of course, not without consequences to her sanity, she had just killed her husband and baby, of course she was in pain.

Nevertheless, the Council confirmed Elisa had done her part and left to leave her alone with the child they let live.

After that, Toby spent weeks returning to that spot of the frontier to look for his dad and brother. No sucess.

As time went by, he eventually forgot about Brad, he was very young when they tore apart and Elisa and Stefan never talked about him nor Alex. All he can remember is that there was a baby in the middle of that mess, but he can’t relate to it.

He kept the memories of his father though, who was closer to him, and till this day he believes he’s alive somewhere and that he can be found. But he has no idea he’s a human and has no idea of his own true nature.

Elisa and Alex miss their respective sons deeply and think about them everyday. They also miss each other very much and the first months after the incident were terribly agonizing for the both of them.

They kept going for the child that had remained for the both of them and raised them apart from each other. Alex never told Brad what happened and so Elisa did to Toby. Like that, none of the brothers knew about the existence of each other.

Until the day Toby was sent, coincidentally, to his “little” brother’s house

And none of them has no idea of this fucking long backstory I just spent four months writing :)

enjoy

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skaldish · 2 years ago

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this is kind of a complicated question so totally cool if you dont have an answer or want to direct me to a different person/other resources. i was raised an atheist by now atheist but raised christian parents (so i grew up with a catholic extended family, my grandma baptized me as a baby, i had christmas and easter and all that). however my family also has, in the past, a lot of connection to norse mythos and heathenism generally (we're from iceland and all over scandinavia generally, the first generation of my family over here was obsessed with norse mythos and i grew up hearing stories from the edda and folk stories about trolls and giants and stuff like that, i have a set of runes for casting that have been passed down my mom's side). i have a ton of interest in norse mythos and old norse culture and "vikings" are my special interest. I really feel a pull toward norse paganism but i just cant get rid of the deeply skeptical part of me that was raised by atheists and that just cannot convince itself to believe in anything i cant directly prove to myself with like. scientific evidence. i feel this need in myself for some sort of higher belief or religion but i cant push past my skepticism either. basically i want faith but i cant have it myself because i need definitive proof to believe in something. im not really sure what im asking for here, just general advice about this i guess?

I'm also a person that has no faith, and frankly never will.

I grew up with science in an a-religious household, and learned early on that anything "real" in this world was something whose existence was self-evident, so gods and spirits were nothing more than theory for me for a while.

What happened to me is that this shit was, in a sense, proven.

Now, "proof" in this context is not empirical and objective proof. I can't replicate my experiences of gods and spirits in another person like science would demand. But neither can I replicate the experience I had listening to a certain song for the first time, or reading a certain book. It's the same concept with gods.

I ended up asking Loki to prove himself because my brain simply refused to believe his existence without it. He sent me no less than 11 different dreams and oodles of signs, one of which was an incredibly uncanny coincidence. It got to the point where denying the data was actually harder than accepting the significance of the picture it painted, even though you could theoretically argue that I hallucinated it all.

(But then we have an argument of ethics on our hands. Is the humane course of action to reject the experiences as valid and label myself as insane, or to try to adopt a new model of the world that allows for the existence of such things?)

This kind of metaphysical experience is what we call "Unverified Personal Gnosis" in the community, and it's very much the "meta" of the physical world—the result of conversations we have with the universe, of socializing with the natural world the way we socialize with each other.

My mind still struggles with this stuff at times, but only because it gets bogged down in how "socially unacceptable" it is to believe in it, especially when my experiences point to incredible things. But I can't deny the heaps of data I've amassed for myself at this point, because I'd be straight gaslighting myself.

I think Shakespeare said it best, honestly: "There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy." There's nothing quite like exploring spirituality to get you to really, truly understand this.

#answered

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