#family healing after loss

[365momme]

Creating New Family Traditions After Loss

When you go from a family of four to a family of three, everything shifts. The world tilts on its axis, and life suddenly feels unfamiliar. In our case, moving from a family life that revolved around illness and addiction to one where there’s “free time” is something we’ve had to navigate carefully. The transition can feel overwhelming, particularly when you’re also dealing with the loss of a…

[duck-n-clover]

👋

[womenusingwords]

Stay

The details… Title‏ : ‎ Stay Author‏ : ‎ Valerie Kapp Publisher ‏ : ‎ Bella Books  Editor‏ : ‎ Cath Walker Publication date‏ : ‎ January 16, 2025 Available formats‏ : ‎ ebook, paperback  Length‏ : ‎ 218 pages ISBN‏ : ‎ 9781642476354e Themes‏ : ‎ friendships, family, mother-daughter relationships, community, falling in love, healing, grief, loss, women over 40, Alzheimer’s, return to…

[yusufstits]

thinking about nile having nightmares and not being able to sleep post london and then being very tired during the day and taking naps on whoever's around

[the-ghost-of-jason-todd]

GOD.

this book began with the four main characters physically divided, their group split apart, but there was hope. it wasn't a clean break, see--it splintered. a piece at a time they've gone separate ways, intentionally or not, each deep in their own pain. first kissen was torn from them. okay. at least she was still alive, she'd fight her way back. and then elo left. still fine, he could come around, he could come back. the splinters were straining to hold inara and skedi together, but i thought maybe they would hold--that kissen would find her way back, that elo would CHOOSE to come back.

he hasn't. kissen is still lost. and now, 75% of the way through, the last splinters holding inara and skedi together just snapped. each of the four main characters is now completely and entirely on their own. weak, angry, in pain, in defeat.

we are well and truly in it now. this is the point that can make or break this book for me. will they each find their way, each come into their own power, write their own stories and perhaps find their way back together again... or will one or more slip too far into the abyss to be saved?

i believe this book is about bonds. it's about relationships, between gods and people, between factions, between allies. i think either way, no matter what happens, sunbringer will say something about connections. the question to me right now is whether or not it will show us how powerful all these characters can be when they join together once again in triumph, victory... or if, instead, it will explore the deepest depths of loss and grief and become a tragedy.

[sirotras]

i just thought about fergus reuniting with cousland after the blight and uh

well im not gonna be ok about that

[gaylerant]

It’s been a while since I’ve even touched tumblr. My life changed on June 1st; it’ll never be the same. I lost the first guy I loved in my life, my dad. Still not okay from it, but better than I was.

I’ve included some pictures from over the years. There’s so many things I wish I said to him.

What hurts me the most isn’t thinking of the memories we had, it’s the future memories he won’t be apart of.

[hypothesiscosmos]

the s2 anime reminded me that i do care about geto suguru and my first thought is "hmm i bet my moot has thoughts abut this guy" so uh this is me asking do you have like a ramble train of thoughts about him? and i'd like to hear more about getofuji

Most of the time I want to cry and hold him! Sometimes I want to shake him real hard and throw him in the pear wiggler for naughty pears because JESUS FUCK, THE GODAWFUL SOLUTION HE CAME TO IN THE END!! All the same, my thoughts on Geto Suguru are just a chaotic mess overall, and half the time they're not even clear thoughts-- just tumultuous emotions because g o d, he is one hell of a character. I deeply love and cherish the motherfucker and every time I sit down to take some notes on his character to get a better sense on how to write him and whatnot, I always end up finding something new...absolutely that one subject I want to study under a microscope. Peel back his big-ass layered onion depths!! Throw him in a microwave-- ok maybe not that last one. Just kidding absolutely that last one, I want to see those depths jiggle like a potato. He's sosososo so fascinating overall, I don't think I'll ever stop yelling about him anytime soon!

I also like need to catch up on the rest of the S2 episodes that are out rn (tbh tho, I don't think I'll ever be ready for That One Certain Event hsldkjs), but from I've seen so far of S2 EP1, I love it already!! The basketball scene especially-- not only for showing the contrasts in a neat and subtle way, but also because it's a cute little expansion to Geto's character in general, even if it's really minor. That little moment of Geto in the ED too, where he's playing basketball as well there...clutches heart. It does make me wonder occasionally that if Geto didn't choose the path to be a Jujutsu Sorcerer, then would he have gotten into becoming a basketball player instead or would it be just a hobby...? Geto no Basuke/The Basketball that Geto Plays-- okay no It's probs never gonna be known (amongst other things) but sometimes it is for the best to make up a conclusion instead of having a definite answer for things like this, so it's fun to think about at times!!

As for GetoFuji, they give me equal amounts of pain and joy...honestly, one of the reasons this ship drew me in this deep into the abyss was the possibilities of how they bounce off, how well they surprisingly complement each other all while also being kind of a foil at the other? I've already said this in another post, but I don't mind saying it again: The fact that both of them saw the darkest parts of humanity way too soon, yet the way they handled it in the aftermath being an ironic echo (ok maybe not that term, but there's definitely a word for something like this, it's just on the tip of my tongue right now, hghghg) of the other person, with Fujino finally understanding the meaning of how valuable life is, the pain and struggles, and how all of it is part of human connection meanwhile Geto slowly slipping into his spiral and feeling numb to everything as he does so until his breaking point, where his ideal was challenged and shattered, unsure of what to do, if life is so valuable then why do some have to deem it necessary for others to be disposable...THERE'S A STORY DEFINITELY NEEDING TO BE TOLD HERE and by god, I'm chipping away as much as I can to uncover it, for however slow I may be. Also keeping saying this (and tbh, I really need to buckle down on doing so), but I do want to put out an essay the many, many feelings I have for this ship!! Like, there's so much going on with them individually, but when you put them together, THEY'RE A FUCKING SUMMER STORM (and depending on which timeline AU, that can either be a good or bad thing).

Also I kept joking to myself that they're a tragic foils to Shirou x Sakura (Mainline AU at least), but joke's on me, JOKE IS ON ME!! Because when I hammered down that one plot point how Geto gets Fujino to go with him, I realized that 'oh, this is like that scene of Shirou giving Sakura the key to his home in HF' but in the unfortunate opposite direction because not only did Geto take away Fujino's first home in the most brutal manner of murder possible (slight spoilers for Mainline story, but while she never got to see it, there's an implication that she found out anyway but at this point it's kind of too late), but even as he deemed the temple and they're living in as it being her home from now on, it's only ever a temporary shelter in the end because even that gets taken away due to all the shit that happens in JJK 0 and whatnot. And ultimately, Fujino is left floating adrift with nowhere to go although technically there's still kind of a place but 1. She never sees it as home and 2. [redacted for JJK spoilers] is involved of course of course.

I'm running out of rambling juice at this point, but they're so much THEY'RE JUST SO MUCH and it's been so much fucking fun piecing together how they could work! They're like a 10000-piece jigsaw puzzles that I could spend hemming and hawing on them for hours and hours and never get bored!!

[emanabosedo]

My name is Eman, and I am a mother of three young children. Until recently, we had a home, a life, and a sense of stability in Gaza. I ran a small office, worked hard to provide for my family, and like any mother, I dreamed of a better future for my children.

But everything changed in an instant. The war in Gaza destroyed our home, my office, and my livelihood. In a matter of moments, our lives were turned upside down, and we were forced to flee, leaving behind the only life we knew.

Now, my children and I are refugees in a new city, trying to find a way to rebuild from nothing. We have lost not just our home and possessions but also our sense of security and hope. My children ask me daily when we can go home, but I have no answer for them. The war has taken everything from us.

I am reaching out for help because I believe in the kindness and generosity of people. With your support, we can start to rebuild our lives. Donations will go towards finding a safe place for my children, securing basic necessities, and eventually, rebuilding a new future for us all.

Your contribution, no matter how small, will make a huge difference in our lives. Please help us rebuild after this unimaginable loss. Together, we can restore hope for my children and give them the chance to heal and thrive.

Thank you for your kindness and support.

Sincerely,

Eman

@ibtisams 🇵🇸 @90-ghost

@interfacefox @cosmic-collective-system @finnslay @muchmossymess @rez-urrection @walking-polyp @violetclowns @feefal @mobydyke @genderfluidgothwitch

@sleepyseaslug @urfavhatesthehungovt @riding-with-the-wild-hunt @morallyrainyday @taviamoth @olovelymoon-slow-answers @jannahswaiting @longlivepalestina @beesofink @curi0uscreature @orchidvioletindigo @sunclownsblog @selamat-linting @girlinafairytale @ragingbullmode @theneutral-zone @thevalaxy @opencommunion @gorillawithautism @seafoamwoman @emathyst9 @three-croissants @iznabl @appsa

[wisterianwoman]

I had a miscarriage... & it wasn't what I expected

There are billions of women who've experienced the pain of miscarriage. Often alone, in silence, and in shame. We don't talk about it. We don't share our stories. I don't want to, but I will. For our grief, and for anyone who it helps to feel less alone.

There are billions of women all throughout time who have experienced the pain of miscarriage. Often alone, in silence, and in shame. We don’t talk about it. We don’t share our stories. We don’t want to. I don’t want to, but I will. For our grief, and for anyone who this helps to feel less alone. the fear It was April 30th, and I had a feeling I was pregnant. Something about the way my body…

[wafafamilygaza]

🚨 Urgent Help Needed! 🚨

Hello, my name is Wafa. My family and I are from Gaza, and we have experienced unimaginable suffering since the war began. We have been displaced five times, losing everything—our home, belongings, and even our sense of security.

The most devastating loss was my father, who passed away on 30/11/2024 🕊️💔. He was the heart of our family, a man full of love and strength. He was battling sarcoma, a painful and aggressive type of cancer. Before the war, he was receiving chemotherapy, but as the war escalated, access to medical care became impossible. We couldn’t even provide him with basic pain relief or nutritious food.

We watched helplessly as his health deteriorated day by day under inhumane conditions. Losing him has left us broken and devastated.

Now, I live with my mother, my three sisters—Nadeen, Walaa, and Liqaa—and my two brothers, Mohamed and Ali, in a tent on our own. We struggle with everything, unable to provide for ourselves or meet even the most basic needs. The tent offers little protection, and we lack access to clean water, food, and proper sanitation. Every day is a challenge just to survive, and the uncertainty of our future weighs heavily on us all.

Your support can make an enormous difference in our lives. It will help us rebuild and regain some stability after losing everything. No donation is too small—every act of kindness brings us closer to a chance for healing and survival.

Donation Link: https://gofund.me/e6d3aee2

From the depths of my heart, I thank you for your compassion and generosity.

Wafa

✅ Our Campaign ✅

🔍 Vetted by @90-ghost here

🔍 Vetted by association in this post

[diana-aj]

Urgent Relief ... 🙏🇵🇸

"Save what's left of our souls . . . 👨‍👩‍👦

My name is Diana, a Palestinian from Gaza.

A mother of two beautiful children, Riad (6) and Ahmed (4). We live together with my mother, my brother and his wife.

Verified by ✅✅

@90-ghost ✅ here.

To donate, click here 🙏

It is difficult for me to ask for a little financial help from you But I will not let my innocent children go without a fight until my last breath

I was about to achieve my dream of becoming a teacher but the war destroyed all my dreams. Most schools in Gaza have been destroyed.💔💔

Unfortunately, our house was bombed and destroyed during the recent events,

which caused us severe psychological and physical damage due to the catastrophic situation we are currently living in. We were forcibly displaced due to the heavy bombing from the north of Gaza to the south, where we have no shelter except a tent that does not protect us from the cold of winter or the heat of summer.

We are now living in catastrophic conditions, in particular my child Riad who was born with a hole in his heart and also pulmonary valve stenosis. At the age of 6 months, he underwent open heart surgery.

Unfortunately, during his regular checkups after surgery, exactly 2 years ago, we noticed that problems had started to appear again.💔

My child Riad often falls ill due to his weak immune system and the severe shortage of food, supplies and medical supplies that we suffer from, in addition to the high prices that make it difficult to meet our basic needs.

We don’t even have access to clean drinking water. The loss of our home has exacerbated our suffering, and our daily lives have become a constant struggle for survival.

My family and I thank you all from the bottom of our hearts! ❤️❤️‍

I understand that we all go through tough times, so anything helps. Whether it's your love and support, donating, sharing my story, or sending love, prayers, positive vibes, and healing. Everything is appreciated and accepted..🙏

"Save what's left of our souls . . . 👨‍👩‍👦

To donate, click here 🙏

With all appreciation and thanks,

Diana❤️

My campaign has been verified by :

@90-ghost ✅ here.

@el-shab-hussein ✅ here.

@gazavetters my number verified on the list is ( #233 )✅️ here.

@dlxxv-vetted-donations ✅ here.

@bilal-salah0 ✅ here.

@postanagramgenerator ✅ here.

@ot3 ✅ here.

@tamamita ✅ here.

@anneemay ✅ here.

@gorillawithautism ✅ here.

@sar-soor ✅ here.

@collgeruledzebra ✅ here.

@apollos-olives ✅ here.

@maester-cressen ✅ here.

@a-shade-of-blue ✅here.

@khanger ✅here.

@fairuzfan ✅ here.

@the-bastard-king ✅ here

@mar64ds ✅ here.

[pseudowho]

Fire and Iron

Forced to stay the night with Nanami Kento, the town's blacksmith, after tending to his wounds, you find yourself smouldering in his irresistible flame.

Warnings: 18+, fluff and smut, loss of virginity

+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+

Your boots cracked through the ice-topped slurry puddles scattering the mud path in the village. The shawl bundled over your shoulders was not enough, and the biting cold wind whipped your cloak back, stripping its usefulness off your shivering shoulders.

Townsfolk waved to you, nodding, smiling; greetings for a familiar face, many of them grateful for your travels to their icy town over the years, lacking even a basic healer of their own, let alone one so talented.

Passing by the blacksmith's hut on your way, you paused out the front, feeling the heat bellowing forth like dragon's breath. You tipped your head back, the smell of ash and steel filling your nose. As you paused, moments after, so did the clang of hammer on anvil.

You opened your eyes, stinging in the brutal cold and smoke. You, once more, like a hundred times before, had caught the eye of the blacksmith. He, whose name you did not know. He, who looked but never touched. He, to whom you had passed so many thousands of hours of your life, and his life to you, through gaze alone.

Stood proud at the anvil, shadowing the forge like the door to hell behind him, his broad shoulders wore only an open-chested white linen shirt, and a thick brown leather apron. With his ashy blond hair, and the lines of his face filled with soot, he was ageless and unknowable. He looked to you, his sharp face quiet and impassive; expression always somewhere between fury and tranquility.

Your lips parted once, as if to speak, and it jumped the blacksmith to life. With a barely perceptible nod, and a grunt, he swung his hammer back, brought down in beautiful accuracy, shaping smouldering steel. The clang rung through you, your chest jolting with a short gasp, and you collected yourself, stepping onwards. You were sure you could feel his cool gaze through the back of your head.

Another patient; another healed. Another grateful family; another life prolonged. The days were short now, and as you stepped out of the house of rough-hewn wood and stone, the forest pines were bathed in dying light, netting the low winter sun above the horizon. It was a punishing journey home, on foot, and the horses were long since put to bed.

The blacksmith's hut held its own sunset, the forge open but unattended. You heard stamps, heavy feet and cursing. You paused in the burst of warmth, illuminated, listening. Curiosity carried your feet into the hut, the heavy wet hem of your skirts collecting ashes, absorbing the blacksmith's domain.

"Are you...are you alright?" You called, uncertain, "Sir?" The footsteps, the swearing, had stopped. You stepped further in, feeling the forge belch at you, almost excruciatingly hot now.

"Get away from there!" The bark, deep and commanding, made you squeak and stumble. Darting through the side door, the blacksmith looped one thick arm round your waist before you fell towards the forge, effortlessly lifting you round, his back to the furnace, his face in shadow.

He was close; close enough that you could smell the soft sweat, the tang of fire and metal. He hissed as your hands dropped to his forearm, and you felt a cold dripping cloth draped over it.

"Do you often wander into places uninvited?" He snipped at you. You recognised the cadence in his low voice-- pain.

"I-- ...you're hurt," you insisted, voice barely above a whisper. Looking up, your eyes tried to gauge his unreadable face in the gloom. You felt him huff, warm air across your cheeks. His arm loosened, releasing you. As he stepped back, turning away to close the forge, you saw the blacksmith's mountainous shoulders tense, twitching.

"It's nothing," he retaliated, brisk. You stepped forwards again, placing a soft hand on his shoulder. At first, he flinched, then begrudgingly allowed you to turn him, and lift the damp rag covering his forearm. A thick welting burn, running the length of his forearm, lay weeping and angry on his skin, already nicked with so many little scars. You heard his teeth grit as the air hit his wound.

"Nothing," you scoffed, "this needs dressing. Let me help you." You felt him flinch beneath your hands, hesitant. He felt his skin prickle under yours, finding such curious pleasure in your touch alongside his pain. Your beseeching eyes took him the rest of the way, and he found himself accepting you.

"I...not here," the blacksmith toned, his eyes flitting to the town around him, "if they believe me injured, I'll lose business." You nodded, rummaging in your overburdened satchel, until he took you gently by the hand.

"My home," he began, hesitant, your hand so soft and small in his broad calloused palm, "you'll...you are welcome. It is clean. Quiet. I...I will not harm you. I promise."

Aware of his size and strength, aware of the air of mystery surrounding him amongst the townsfolk, the blacksmith was quick to reassure you. Your eyes softened, and his thumb brushed lightly over your knuckles at your words, electricity crackling up your arm.

"I know you won't," you assured. The briefest smile graced his severe face when you offered your name. You felt it warm you from the belly downwards. As he pulled encouragingly on your fingers, leaving the forge to die naturally with the approaching nightfall, you were led through the back of the hut, seeing a newly revealed sprawling cabin of wood and stone, at the edge of the forest. You felt the first kiss of snow upon your cheek.

"Nanami Kento," the blacksmith replied, welcoming you over the threshold. You smiled up at him, taking in his home; barely lit, at first, until he struck a lantern to life. You placed your bag upon a table, rummaging for salves as Kento began to build the fire, skilled and efficient.

You basked in the homely room; autumnal tapestries lining the walls, skin rugs on the floor and furs on the chairs, hanging herbs above a countertop, circled with hung skillets and pans. You relaxed easily into the sincerity of Kento's welcome. A frigid wind slapped the windows, rattling the door.

Before long, an enormous cast iron pot boiled with water, and you knelt before Kento, appraising his wound in the orange glow. Cleaning your hands, wetting a rag with clean water, you moved to clean the ash from his arm before pausing.

"This will hurt," you apologised, looking up to him. Kento's heart stuttered; how many hours had he spent, imagining those sweet eyes, those gentle fingers? Too long. Too many words unspoken over too many years. He was not used to such tenderness.

"I am used to pain," he hushed, smooth and barely audible above the crackle of flame, "my job has certain...hazards, after all." You hummed, swiping the cloth gently, removing dirt and debris.

"Still," you hummed, "I don't like to hurt a friend." Kento chuckled, and you felt yourself blush from hairline to toes at the rich mirth of it.

"We are...friends, are we?" His voice was low and conspiratorial, and you felt it stir a hunger deep within you. You smiled back, mulish as you dabbed salve onto his burn. His knees were parted, with you knelt between them, and your elbows rested on the thick muscle of his thighs. You felt safe, warm, held.

"All those years, passing back and forth," you sighed, teasing, "and not one hello? Just lots of nods," your stomach swooped as Kento laughed again, "and our friendship is just that. An accumulation of nods."

"Would we have stopped at 'hello'?" Kento retaliated. He caught the brief pause in your bandaging, before you continued. You spoke, uncertain again.

"Well," you hummed, testing the water, "offer me one now...and we shall see where it goes." Looking up, you gasped to find your face just inches from Kento's. He smiled at you, his eyes flicking briefly to your lips and back up again.

"Hello," he whispered, quiet and mischievous, "and thank you."

Your breath fluttered out; Kento could feel it against his lips, beckoning him.

"I...it's getting late," you started, and Kento blinked out of his reverie, glancing to the inky black outside his windows, "I should go."

Kento grasped your fingers once more, rising with you as he stood, your shawl shushing against his chest, barely covered by his soft linen shirt. Kento hummed, sounding grave, stepping to the other side of the room.

"It is night," he said, hands cupped around his eyes as he squinted out of the windows, "and the woods are barely safe in the day. I...I cannot allow you to travel. Alone, in the snow. You must stay."

His tone broached no argument, yet still you tried, packing your bag, your cheeks aflame.

"I...it isn't..." you stuttered, and Kento turned to you, chin inclined to the floor, one fine eyebrow raised. You took a deep breath, certain that if you didn't leave now, you may fall too deeply into Kento's insistent heat. Yet...you knew he was right. The path was treacherous. The snow would take you before the dawn.

"Would you like a bath?" Kento offered, turned away to save you your blushes; a gentleman.

"I-- please don't go to any trouble--" Kento swiftly ignored you, beginning to grasp the enormous iron pot, lifting it with stunning ease. His voice didn't even hitch.

"It's no trouble. I bathe every night. You can go before me." Kento carried the pan, stepping behind a folding wooden screen, and you followed him as if to argue, watching him begin to fill an enormous copper bathtub. Your hands shook as you began to remove your shawl, still blushing, so briefly overwhelmed before squashing it down.

Kento glanced up at you, pausing as he poured hot water, "This will take me some time," he said, apologetic, "please make yourself comfortable. I'll call for you."

You nodded, clearing your throat, hands twisting in your removed shawl. Kento chastised himself for admiring the soft curve of your breasts into your waist, the hidden delight of the swelling of your hips beneath your heavy skirts. He did not see how the steam rose fast, dampening his white shirt, how you could see all the way to his navel as he leaned over the bath. Neither of you knew how the other stirred within.

As you walked the length of the room, your fingertips brushing tapestries and grazing over warm furs, your curiosity drew you to a wide, flat trinket box, inlaid with mother of pearl, the colours an aurora in the rolling firelight. You stroked the box just once, before lifting the lid.

Your eyes crinkled immediately with joy at the treasures within; the box was full of lovingly crafted necklaces of gold, silver, pearl and gem, the chains finer and softer than any you had ever seen. You did not feel Kento approach as you admired them.

"I'd like for you to choose one," he offered, sincere, as you spun to face him. He raised his hands placatingly, a smile at the edge of his mouth, "not in lieu of payment, of course. A gift, I...made them with no real aim as to who should receive them."

"You made these?" You gaped, unable to fathom how such enormous hands crafted such intricate delights, "Kento, I-- they're beautiful, I couldn't possibly..."

If Kento had held any reservation, after hearing his name tumble from your lips, he was filled with the burning certainty that the jewellery should be for you, and you alone. His hand closed over yours as you moved to shut the box.

"Please," he breathed, so close, "choose one, or I shall give you them all." Swallowing, your hand hovered over a fine chain of silver and emerald, your fingertips brushing the gem. Kento hummed his approval, before picking it up, his calloused fingers all softness and grace.

"My favourite, too," he rumbled, brushing your hair off the nape of your neck as he clipped the necklace into place. You shivered at the feeling of his fingers on your neck, and almost ran as he whispered beside your ear, "Your bath is ready."

Stripping behind the wooden screen, hearing Kento amble around the room beyond, you sighed as the hot water enveloped you. Washing yourself with a soft sponge, cleaning off the grime of the day, your hand wandered absentmindedly downwards, fingertips grazing through your folds, naturally moving to relieve yourself of the building tension--

"I've left you a shirt." Your hand darted upwards with a guilty splash, Kento's voice only meters away behind the screen.

"Thank-- thank you," you squeaked, blushing, before climbing out, so naked apart from your exquisite new necklace. Drying on a soft towel, your hand hesitated over the shirt draped over the screen, before pulling it on over damp skin. It reached down your thighs, but left little else to the imagination.

Kento remained outwardly stoic, unreadable, averting his gaze as you crept out, arms holding yourself and squashing your breasts together, the colour of your nipples as faint as a ghost under the white linen shirt. He cleared his throat, coughing lightly before skirting past to the bath. You felt heat creep up your neck at the gossamer hush of his clothes hitting the floor, the shifting water as he stepped in, the way he sighed in relief, almost as if--

"I shall sleep in the chair tonight," Kento said, slow and considered, "and you shall have my bed." You felt indignation roll within you.

"Don't be ridiculous," you scolded, "you're injured, and this is your home--"

'-- and you are my guest," he grumbled.

"I won't allow it," you insisted, almost forgetting yourself as you approached the wooden screen, "I'll put some furs on the floor and--"

"You believe I would let you sleep on the floor?" He growled, furious at your suggestion, "I should rather you have me share the bed with you over that--"

"Fine. Then we shall share the bed. And there will be no more argument." You clapped a hand over your mouth as the words tumbled forth, unbidden. Mortified by your own suggestion, you removed your hand to speak again.

Kento stepped round from behind the screen, his towel draped lazily round his waist. You gaped up at him, stunned. He was...younger than you thought, his blond hair now soft and floppy, the ash removed from the lines in his face, taking ten years off him. You faced him, his towering form, the practiced rolls, peaks and planes of muscle belonging to a working man, his forearms so thick--

"Then...we should get to bed," Kento insisted, stepping past you, through a doorway to his bedroom, where you heard him rummaging for clothes, "it is late and I am up with the lark."

You hesitated where you stood, feeling your heartbeat between your legs, desperately curious, but paralysed.

"I don't bite," Kento called out, and you gulped down the sounds of soft fabric dropping over his body, still crippled with indecision and embracing yourself as he stepped out to put out the fire. You were lost momentarily in darkness before he stepped to you, the lantern between you, a beacon in the dark. You felt his hand close around your fingers again. You heard him whisper.

"It will become cold quickly, now the fire has died. Come. Stay warm."

You allowed yourself to be led to Kento's bedroom, hypnotised by the small swinging lantern. Kento led your hand downwards, placing it to the edge of the bed for you to feel your way, your fingers gliding through soft fur and cool sheets. With shaking hands, you crawled across to the head of the bed. Kento waited for you, flipping down the sheets, flipping them back up to your chin as you both slipped between them.

You heard nil but your own heartbeat. Kento faced you, the torch light embering behind him leaving him only just visible as your eyes adjusted to the light. The sheets had not yet warmed from your bodies, and you shivered. You felt Kento shift beside you.

"You...are cold," he stated as if in question. You remained quiet, gripping your hands to your chest lest they reach out for him.

"I'm...I'll warm up. Soon," you reassured yourself as much as him. You heard one doubtful grunt from him. Five minutes passed, and still, Kento felt you shiver against the sheets. Pulling a fur up to your chins, he felt prickles up his legs as one of your feet reached hesitantly out to touch him. He felt rather than heard you sigh.

"So warm," you whispered, your little voice soft with comfort in the dark. Kento's breath caught in his chest, feeling his cock twitch inside his soft trousers.

"Do you...need me?" He offered. He felt your other foot reach out in answer, cold toes wiggling against the downy hair on his leg. He felt a dangerous, needy arousal thread through him.

Reaching out his uninjured arm, he hooked it round your waist, chuckling as you squeaked when he pressed against you. You hummed in pleasure at the heat rolling off him, basking in his warmth, forgetting your awkwardness for a moment. Kento and you lay intertwined like that, with you softening like butter in his arms.

After a few minutes, you shifted against him, about to drift off to sleep. Kento must have been near sleep as well, groaning into your hair as you shifted, reflexively clinging you closer to him. Your bottom, completely bare with his shirt shifted up your body, pressed back to his groin. His clothed cock was hard and barely restrained in his loose trousers, and pressed between your thighs.

You felt a jolt run through you, feeling a warm trickle of arousal, so alien to you, seep out between your thighs. Kento almost saw stars as it dampened the trousers over his cockhead, and he frowned, his forehead pressed to your shoulder blade in apology and embarrassment.

"I-- I'm sorry, I--...it's been so long...since I've felt a woman-- shit, I'm--" Kento rested his nose against your neck, unable to stop himself from ghosting his lips there. You dropped your head back to him, and he growled in appreciation, nuzzling your neck, feeling your thighs clamp around the tip of his cock, your arousal seeping through his trousers and mixing with his own.

"I've never--" you whispered, blushing furiously, drunk on the feeling of his body against yours, feeling so curiously empty and aching to be filled. Kento understood immediately, and moved to pull back.

"No!" You squeaked, holding onto his arm, pushing yourself back to chase him along the bed, "Please, I-- I want--...you. I want you." Your words sat heavy in the air. Kento shifted behind you, at war with himself.

"You don't know what you're asking," he growled, fighting against you to remove his arm, "I am no boy."

"And I'm no girl, nor stupid," you reassured, "I'm not ignorant."

In an instant, Kento moved above you, on all fours, his arms caging you in, corseting you to his bed. He stared down at you, enormous chest heaving, eyes roving down your body, quickly intoxicated by your peaked nipples, beneath his shirt, the hem of it barely covering your sex, still feeling your arousal dampening his cock.

He leaned down, nestling his mouth against your neck again, tongue flicking out, tasting you. He felt you still under his lips, just a little mouse, in the jaws of a bear.

"And yet, all that knowledge is just academic, until you're crying out that my cock is too big for you," he growled, warning you away, barely able to stop himself. He felt you squirm beneath him, his head swimming with you. He was lost, then, to your tiny whisper in the gloom.

"Show me-- please." Kento shuddered, a drop of pre-cum seeping out of his cock, soaking through his trousers and your-- his-- shirt, to dampen your belly. You shivered, desperate to know Kento biblically, desperate for this fabled ecstasy.

Kento raised his mouth from your neck, reading your eyes, seeing such certainty in them. Tangling his fingers with yours beneath the sheets, he pressed the length of his body down against you as he kissed you, his other hand framing your jaw, gently encouraging it open to slide his tongue against yours. Your soft little moan was like music to his ears.

Kissing you deeply, learning your voice and your mouth, letting you learn the peaks and planes of his body with your free hand, Kento kept your other hand plaited with his own, fearful of leaving you to take this journey alone.

He felt himself shudder with the unbridled privilege of being able to worship you, jealously grateful that you had not been left to some boy. He was overwhelmed by the need to set your standards high at the first hurdle.

"Let me taste you," he murmured into your mouth, and you hesitated, unsure of what he meant. Swiping his thumb across your palm, Kento's mouth ventured downwards, sucking the skin of your neck, nipping before soothing the skin with his tongue, feeling you become pliable, supple as water. His fingers danced over the laces holding your shirt together, giving you opportunity to stop him, before untying them, freeing your breasts.

Laying his tongue flat over one nipple, Kento allowed it to curve to the shape of you, to know you, before drawing it into his mouth, sucking on your nipple while his hand toyed with and kneaded the other. He revelled in your whines, a high, keening mewl as you arched off the bed into his mouth. You felt his licks and sucks, curiously, between your legs, and you could not help but buck up against him.

Kento grunted at the feeling of your pussy pressing against his thigh, and moved one hand down to hold your hips still.

"Slow down-- let me show you," he ordered, gentle in his insistence. You trembled under his fingertips, your hips settling back to the bed. He rumbled his approval, rolling your nipple under his tongue again until you sighed, breathy and ecstatic, "Good girl."

In reward, his mouth continued to trail downwards, and your eyes fluttered closed, one hand coming to rest on the back of his head, your fingernails scratching through his damp hair. Kento shivered at the sensation, feeling his cock leap against his thigh.

When his mouth reached your mound, you squeaked out in alarm, flipping the blankets down to see Kento, illuminated in the orange light.

"What are you-- your mouth, Kento--" Kento's eyes crinkled up at you, and two arms came to loop round the top of your thighs, pulling you down the bed towards him, your shirt being rucked up against the drag of the mattress to completely expose your glistening pussy to him.

Maintaining eye contact with you, you trembled with anticipation as Kento poked his tongue out into a point, first grazing your folds, before stroking from side to side to ease in between them. The sound that broke out from you as his tongue stroked over your clit, hot and wet, was one Kento masturbated to for years to come.

You felt as though you had been lifted from earth and dropped amongst the clouds as he licked at you, sucking, stroking, tasting, the pleasure so otherworldly compared to what your own hand could achieve, that you felt yourself being rushed towards your peak at speed.

Twisting and squirming against his mouth, you reflexively tried to pull your pussy away from Kento's attentions. His arms tightened around the tops of your thighs, growling into you, pulling you back as you tried to scoot away. Your hand tugged at his hair as you arched, whimpering, coated in a fine sweat. As Kento groaned into your cunt, you watched his hips roll and hump against the bed, the sight alone enough to send your orgasm crashing through you, and you worshipped his name in a long, keening cry.

Kento let his laps and sucks become softer, languid, letting you float through the haze of your pleasure. Nuzzling at you, tasting you as you trailed lazy blissful fingers through his hair, Kento planted soft kisses to your inner thigh.

Moving back up, stroking his nose against your neck, Kento felt your hand move down his shoulders and back, before coming round to ghost over the front of his trousers. Kento shuddered, kneeling above you to remove his shirt, skin prickling with the need to feel yours against his own.

Gazing down at you, his eyes like whiskey in the flickering light, he grazed a palm from in between your breasts, down to the hem of your shirt, pulling it up over your head in one swift tug, exposing you completely to him.

Your hand still trailed over his groin as he knelt, and you were captivated, obsessed with the shape, weight and length of his cock in your hands, blissfully unaware of what you were doing to him. As you grasped the lace at the front of his trousers, undoing it, and squeezing the head of his cock between your fingers, Kento moaned, ragged, leaning one hand sideways to support himself.

"Fuck-- I haven't-- not for so long," he moaned, low and husky, feeling your inexperienced fingers explore his cock and balls in a way that felt almost abusively naive. As your thumb glided beneath his foreskin, collecting the wetness of his pre-cum, exploring his slit, Kento hissed, panting and grabbing your hand.

You broke out of your reverie, blushing with mortification, tears pricking in your eyes as you began to apologise. Kento interrupted, shushing you, one hand still gripping your fingers around his cock, the other coming up to cup your face, his thumb swiping across your cheek.

"Not you," he huffed, stroking your cheek, smiling down at you with fevered eyes, "me, it's-- I-- I'll cum in your hand if you carry on." Your eyes glimmered, hungry to see how he looked as you pleasured him, and you moved yourself, leaning close, squeezing him again beneath his own hand, and he cried out in pleasure. You felt another drip of his arousal across your fingers, and you gulped, your tongue darting out across your lips.

As you lowered yourself to his lap, Kento's eyebrows raised in shock, and desperate awe, as you licked the weeping cockhead sticking out from your joined enclosed hands.

A low rumble ebbed through Kento, his eyes suddenly dark and hungry as he looked down at you, wordlessly using your hand inside his own, to pump the length of his cock. Feeling the intoxicating glide of soft skin over woody hardness, you let him use your hand to masturbate himself as you took the head of his cock into your mouth, licking, tasting the musty pre-cum there.

Every instinct screamed at Kento to chase his orgasm, to press your head further down his cock so he could use your little hand to jack off into your mouth, and he felt overwhelmed by the innocent licks and sucks you gave him, eyes cast upwards to see what effect they had on him. Kento moaned desperately, twisting on his haunches, fingers in turn tangling into your hair and coming away, clenching and unclenching at speed.

He felt the approaching rush of divine ecstasy, thrumming up his back in waves, his balls tightening up against the base of his cock--

Snapping, Kento pulled your hand and mouth off him, heaving you up the bed and back onto the pillows, before pinning you down with his body, panting into your neck, trying not to spill his seed over your belly. You were thrilled, ecstatic with Kento's pleasure, eager to see more of it.

You crept your hips up to his, trying to ease his cock into you. Kento huffed, his hand shooting down to press your hips down again.

"--going to kill me-- I swear-- no idea...you have no idea what you're doing to me--" Kento panted, quaking above you, one forearm planted above your head. As his peak ebbed away, Kento plaited his hand with your own again, above your head. He felt his cockhead resting against the smooth resistance of your entrance, and he suddenly felt so responsible for you.

"I don't want to hurt you," he huffed, aware he was bigger than average, but knowing from the fevered look in your eyes that he could not dissuade you-- not that he wanted to, at this point, his cock throbbing with urgent need.

"Please," you begged, "please." You felt Kento's hips press forwards into your soaking wet heat, feeling a slight sting as it met resistance. Kento rested his nose to yours, his eyes still feverish, his body still smelling of iron and ash and smoke.

"On one condition," he pressed, authoritative as his cockhead pressed deeper against your stinging resistance, breaking past thin membrane, gripping your thigh up to his hip as you trembled, biting your lip, tears in your eyes as you nodded-- anything, you thought, anything.

"Marry me," he whispered against your lips, and you squeaked as you felt a twang of pain, his cock suddenly nestled deeply inside you. Kento rocked his hips gently, shushing you, soothing you, his thumb stroking your palm. Not moving, just holding you as you adjusted to feeling so full, Kento waited for an answer.

"Y--yes...yes," you mewled, and Kento growled his approval against your neck, slowly pulling out of you before rutting back into your wet, tender pussy again, so intimate and deep that you cried out for him.

Kento rolled his hips, like a boat on the waves, whispering into you, certain he wouldn't last long; "First-- I'll cum inside you-- then I'll treat you like a queen...haaah...for the rest of my days."

You clung to Kento, lost in the ecstasy of him plowing into you, delighted by his rumbling groans in your ears, blissfully proud of being able to make such an unflappable man fall apart inside you. When his grip on your hip faltered, his shaking hand dropping to stroke quick little circles around your clit, Kento growled and bit into your neck to feel you rock your hips upwards to meet his own.

The sting almost completely eased, you felt quick pangs of pleasure, rising with every beat of your fast little heart, completely carried along by the eroticism of Kento's frantic groans and mumbles into your ear.

"My love I-- you feel so good...so good...god, I need to cum, need you to cum I-- aahhhh, fuck--" Kento felt your pussy clench around him, and he came inside you as you drank down his moans, fascinated by how they matched up with the bounding twitch of his cock, how his hips juddered into you involuntarily, how his face contorted, jaw clenched, somewhere between rage and serenity.

You were famished, starved of him, immediately desperate for more, and you felt him crumple into you, caging you in, shoulders heaving and spent. Kento chuckled as you peppered him with kisses, gripping your thighs round him and rolling him over so you lay above him, straddling him as his cock softened within you.

With his chin on his chest to look down to you, and a lazy lopsided smile across his face, Kento played idly with your hair, stroking your nose, your cheeks. He proudly fingered the beautiful necklace, resting against your breasts, squashed and plush against him.

"You meant it?" He asked, eager, concerned.

You hummed in delight, pressing a tender kiss to his chest as you nodded; "You had me at 'hello'."

+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+

Would the anon who requested Blacksmith!Kento PLEASE STAND UP so I can credit you for breaking my brain.

[sweeterlovers]

HIS LOSS / LANDO NORRIS + JACOB ELORDI

lando norris x piastri reader + reader x jacob elordi / SMAU

SUMMARY / lando cheating on oscar’s younger sister? who better to heal your heart than the australian heartthrob

FACE CLAIM / hadar lavy

WARNINGS / cheating!

-

INSTAGRAM

liked by gossipf1, f1lover, and 36,751 others

f1gossip F1 GOSSIP: Lando Norris caught cheating on Y/N Piastri??? Lando Norris has been spotted with a mysterious blonde woman!

view all comments

user6 WHAT WHAT

user78 holy shit bro

user0 no more papaya rules….

user2 LMFAOOOO

user613 mclaren garage bout to be real awkward

user8 the DRAMAAA

user03 SINCE WHEN WAS LANDO DATING SOMEONE???

user836 where have u been????????

user5 bro i don’t know.. i didn’t even know oscar had a sister 😭😭

user6782 you’ve been living under a rock

user111 what the actual hell

user3 his loss i guess

user521 i don’t even know anymore

user778 landoscar 😭💔

user89 well that’s over with

user2000 anyways Y/N deserves better

user58 welp!

-

INSTAGRAM

liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris, and 135,726 others

y/n.piastri well it’s just me and my stuffed animals against the world 🙂

view all comments

user2 girl you deserve better

user57 wait the stuffed animals are so cute

user05 i know 🥹 what are their names???

y/n.piastri well the octopus is named mimi and the kitty is named princess mellow!

user267 awww

yourbsf anyways your so hot wtf

y/n.piastri 😘😘😘😘 ilyyyyyyyyy

user9 stop she looks so sad :(((

user2 i wonder why….

user88 i wish i looked that good after getting cheated on

user892 the fact that he’s still liking her posts….

user0 ugh he’s so icky

user83 i hope she can still come to the paddock and support oscar!!!

user543 me too!!! we may have to wait a bit for that tho

user452 🙁🙁🙁🙁🙁

user362 your so pretty!!!

oscarpiastri why are mimi and princess mellow so far apart?

y/n.piastri idk they need space

-

MESSAGES

yourbsf

ok y/n you’ve been sitting in your room for the past week, you need to get out and go party!!!

y/n

i’m not in the mood

yourbsf

ok well i don’t really care!

y/n

?????

yourbsf

go get ready! i’m picking you up and we are going to the club!!!!!!!

-

INSTAGRAM

liked by oscarpiastri and 265,727 others

y/n.piastri 🍾🪩⚡️

view all comments

yourbsf HOTTIE

y/n.piastri LOVE U CUTIE

user3 okkkk i see youu

user0 you look soooo good

user67 revenge outfit 🔥🔥🔥

user1 party girl era?????

user56 imagine she goes to a party and sees lando as the dj

user9 i would die

user267 this post is chaotic and put together at the same time

user78 you look amazing!!!!!!

user566 😻😻😻😻😻😻😻

user6 i want to party with y/n piastri

-

MESSAGES

my dear brother 🤧🤧

how was the club?

y/n

it was alright

my dear brother 🤧🤧

did you meet anyone?

y/n

nope!

my dear brother 🤧🤧

i’m sorry, if it makes you feel better i can run him over!

y/n

it’s whatever, but i wouldn’t be made if you “accidentally” crashed into him

my dear brother 🤧🤧

noted

-

INSTAGRAM

liked by oscarpiastri, jacobelordi, and 73,624 others

y/n.piastri i was going to wear this to the club but i changed 👍

comments on this post have been limited!

user9 jacob elordi in the likes????

user0 oooooo!!!!

oscarpiastri 👌👌👌

yourbsf you look good either way!!!!!

-

INSTAGRAM

jacobelordi

hey! i know this might seem weird but i’m in australia visiting my family and i’m free and i was wondering if i could take you out on a date?

y/n.piastri

are you being for real?

jacobelordi

yes?

y/n.piastri

sorry this was just unexpected! but i would love to go out with you!

jacobelordi

great! i’ll dm you the details

-

INSTAGRAM

liked by jacobelordi, oscarpiastri, and 164,263 others

y/n.piastri date night 🤍

view all comments

user6 WHAT

user78 ok girl!!!!

user10 looking gorgeous!

user2 i’m glad your moving on from lando <33

user9 yeah he’s a 🚩🚩🚩

user34 most of the drivers are 😭

user16 true

user57 gorg!!!

yourbsf i see you!!!!! 👀

y/n.piastri LMFAO

yourbsf well text me the details…

y/n.piastri yes ma’am 🫡

-

INSTAGRAM (PRIVATE)

liked by yourbsf, jacobelordi, and 12 others

y/n.private lately with me 😘😘

view all comments

yourbsf cuties!!!!

jacobelordi what is that second picture?

y/n.private it’s a picture of you with a bow edited on you! 🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀

jacobelordi did you do that?

y/n.private yes!!!!

-

INSTAGRAM

liked by jacobelordi, oscarpiastri, and 167,282 others

y/n.piastri 🤍🤍

view all comments

user3 SOFT LAUNCH??

user88 i know!!!

user00 anyone know who the guy is?

user2 i think it’s jacob elordi cause he’s been liking her posts

user7 idk but @oscarpiastri & @yourbsf may!

oscarpiastri maybe 🤷

yourbsf i can’t disclose such information

user675 😻😻😻😻

user013 the last photo 👀👀👀

user4 and the first one! they seem so cute together 😊

user37 ok but she looks sooo pretty in the second pic

-

INSTAGRAM

liked by y/n.piastri, oscarpiastri, and 568,926 others

jacobelordi me and my girl @y/n.piastri

view all comments

user56 my husband 😖😖😖😖

user78 i can’t have anything 🪦

user0034 😍😍😍😍😍

user4 she kinda reminds me of rapunzel in the second photo!

user00 ok but they’re kinda cute together

user3 i guess…. i’m kinda salty about it

user6 like you had a chance??? side eye 😒

user002 who even is she?

user23 she’s the sister of a Australian f1 driver (oscar piastr)

user22 ok i see him!

user46 love to see a fellow aussie

user378 🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺

user402 and the kangaroos 🦘 🦘

y/n.piastri you beat me to the hard launch ☹️☹️

jacobelordi i’ll make it up to you :)

user4002 🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩

oscarpiastri i swear if you hurt her…

jacobelordi you’ll run me over with your race car

oscarpiastri bingo!

-

INSTAGRAM

liked by jacobelordi, yourbsf, and 306,372 others

y/n.piastri me and my mans 🤍💙

view all comments

user3 cute!!!

jacobelordi love you baby

y/n.piastri yeah yeah i love u too

user03 🤗🤗🤗

user77 an upgrade!!!!

user49 damn…..

user00 🇦🇺 🦘

user622 the flowers 😻😊

user08 i know!!! so cute!

oscarpiastri cute.

yourbsf CUTIES I LOVE LOVE 💗💗

y/n.piastri THANK YEWWW

-

SWEETERLOVERS - sorry that took my so long to write 😭

[acid-ixx]

to you, my greatest passion (soft yandere! batfam x traumatized! reader oneshot)

reblogs and interactions are encouraged and appreciated.

tw: allusions to stockholm syndrome, flawed relationship (they have no concept of boundaries) and mild descriptions of injuries and torture (not by the batfam). read until the end for an author's note. happy 4k followers to me :)) uh leave comments if u like this type of analysis and want to see more. i had no direction for writing this. please don't let this flop huhu i might delete this since i don't like it

as much as i love my angst, we all need something soft at times, and moments with yan!batfam with a reader who is absolutely fucking broken from their past that the mere implication that someone could love them is enough to let them melt into whoever's chest they lay upon that night.

just, hurt/comfort. one that heals the soul in its overly possessive embrace. the same way chapped lips peck softly on your cheeks, muscled arms caress your fragile, shivering body, and legs tangle upon yours in a cacophony of warm, cozy blankets.

where as the longer time passes in the manor, the more you learn to love. to let go of the painful memories your tormenters left you. to allow past scars to heal into a mere visage of what once was streaks coated in blood. your family acts as your new abductors, yes, but how could you hold your freedom against them when it is them that comfort you from drowning through the deepest depths of your nightmares?

nightmares of the past, of the knives that break through your already gashed skin, or the ropes that burn through bruises and laceration— every time you wake up crying, with tears running down your cheeks and a pained cry; a recollection of the torture you were subject to, it is them that come running to your room not a moment after.

it's bruce's tall, domineering form that crumbles into soft, snug pillows for you. your father arms that punches criminals into prison become the shoulder you lean on. calloused fingers rub your cheeks, wiping away your tears, holding your face in his palms like you're the most fragile thing on earth— and you are. every time he looks at your dampened eyes and sniffling nose, he gets reminded of how lonely he was as a child, who lost his parent too young to the cruelty of the world, of gotham and her unyielding coldness. and when he reminisces, he begins to cage you in his arms a tad bit tighter, begins to comfort you longer and softer than he has ever done with anyone else, as if he is reassuring himself. it is with you that his vulnerability, that fear of loss becomes all too stronger. and every time you cry a bit longer, your hold on his sleeves becoming unyielding, does bruce become crueler in his pursuit of fighting crime, a lesson to himself that the people he punishes are those with hands capable enough to harm you, his precious, his pearl that glints throughout the moonlight.

whenever your father is unavailable, it's dick who runs to you, with all the intention to provide you comfort. it's him who calls you his baby bird, as he reassures you that you're no burden in his eyes every time you scream in terror as your sleep. it's him who loves to drown you in his affection, always near, always close, never far and never too much. physically, he's the most doting to a fault. tender, yet tight were his hugs. his kisses to your cheeks and your forehead always linger, as if hesitant to release itself from its rightful place. it's a testiment to how much he loves you, how he's incapable of separating himself from you. god, he loves you so much he wishes he'd just melt right into your skin, so that you actually finally realize how you're the most important thing in the world to him. you, his baby bird. if he had met you sooner, quite earlier, right after his parent's have died, then maybe he could've managed his anger better, could've learned to cope with you through the battles you both fought. it's with you that dick feel unbearably euphoric, ready to spill his love to the point where tears consume his eyes and his head laid on your chest refuses to detach itself.

jason isn't familiar with what warmth feels like, not anymore. but when he sees your hapless state, he sees a reflection of himself in that abandoned warehouse. broken, defiled, hurt. with nothing to comfort you from the cold other than the ropes that burn through your skin and the adrenaline that runs through your veins. he forgots what solace feels like, what it means, but through your shared trauma does jason learn. he learns to talk to you, with you, learns to pinpoint each and every emotion he felt at the time, what you felt inside that putrid basement. he learns to manage his grief because he doesn't want to anger himself looking at you, at just how much justice can only serve so many. the longer you talk to jason, the more he becomes softer, yet hungrier. he learns how to hold you in a way a brother learns to hold his baby sibling for the first time when conceived. he relearns the warmth he felt, like when he was finally able to be good enough to be the successor to the title of robin, when he felt you drool on his chest when you trusted him enough to sleep in his room. yet this time that feeling was accompanied with that ominous, distracting essence. one that makes jason's knuckles crack and have him prepare his guns, as he discovers that you can never truly erase the past. and even though it might take years for him to be your ideal brother, he could at least be your sole protector.

then there's tim, who never truly had the opportunity to develop that deeper sense of love he wanted to feel until he was officially adopted into the wayne family right after his parents' death. don't get him wrong, he loves his mom and dad, and so does he loves his current family— but it's obsession that drives him nonetheless. the need to prove himself, to gather information about everyone to know who they truly are; beyond that there's nothing more than shallowness, a neverending hole he can't satisfy. but with you? oh god, you. to tim, you're his everything. you devour his being whole. with you, there's always something new. the need to track every single thing about you leads him into this cycle of want and need that coagulates into desire, into drive. every time you smile, or laugh, or frown, he gains newer intel about you, one he loops into the deepest crevices of his brain at a constant, you are his constant. but staying right behind you can only do so much. and as he sits right beside you in bed, awkwardly comforting you through the ways he mirrored off from his brothers: a sloppy kiss to your knuckles, a joke cracked here and there, and wiping your eyes and nose with his sleeves; tim learns that stalking can only do so much. he learns what it feels like to be needed for emotional connection and nothing else and that only further motivates him to be perfect for you, and to be with you, his sibling, more often than to simply live right under your nose.

and damian, your baby brother, who's unsurprisingly the one who sleeps in your room, or has you sleep in his room, the most. damian tells himself he's incapable of love, of showing it or reciprocating it. but for you, he tries, and like jason, he learns. he discovers just how depraved both of you are when it comes to love. it enlightens you both and it makes damian feel a deeper sense of connection with you than anyone else. with you, he feels like a child: vulnerable, yet uncaring and free, like the true meaning of being a robin, one the soars through the skies with no grandfather or mother or league to watch your every step as their successor. all the times you cry, he silently sobs with you, holding your cheeks down to his level with scarred palms. silent, yet comforting, he'd allow his smaller form to simply become your teddy bear whilst he whispers consolations. about how strong his older sibling is, how precious you are for being comfortable with him to speak of your problems, how you're everything to damian just as he wishes to be the world for you. it makes you think you're more immature that him, it makes him grateful that he has you. even though he doesn't say it, he shows through actions just how truly important you are whenever he draws a sword towards his enemies, thinking about you and his unsaid promises.

nights where you're reminded of that solitary confinement, of the darkness that creeps into your vision and the voices that pierce through your ears. nights where you feel you've exhausted yourself of hope, where what was once warmth that hugs your heart is now that frigid, yet burning spikes that penetrates into the confidence that you'll somehow, someday, run away from that hellhole— those were nights you thought you'd never live with proper sleep. but as one or two of them holds you in their embrace whenever your nightmares consume your being, you're slowly allowing your established walls to fall apart, all for the mere implication of their love.

who would save you, if not for them? their hushed whispers of consolation, hands that wrap around your figure, and fingers that knead your cheeks provide you that deep sated comfort you always wanted. the sleeves they use to wipe away both saltine liquid and snot, to slowly silence your blubbering rambles, your inconsolable crying; it's warmer than the basement you used to be locked in as a child, with dripping faucets the only source of your water— they saved you once before, who's to say they won't save you a thousand times more?

every time you feel like crying, every time that familiar faulty tap in your eyes begins to dampen against ashen skin, it's them that asks you if you're alright. even if you grit your teeth, even if you seeth or bite or beat or punch or kick, to punish yourself, to cope through the trauma, to not feel nothing.

every time pain begins to sear through your skin, it's your grandfather, father, brothers and sisters that huddle around you and tell you 'you're safe here, in the manor, with us'.

every time they spend hours, ditching patrol nights, cooking your comfort food, reading your favorite books, watching movies for hours, ignoring your assigned sleep schedule, kissing your scarred hands gently, reverently, cuddling your form against their strong ones as a silent promise that with them, there's nothing to harm you no more— you'd feel lighter every time, a tad happier, even. slowly, but surely, melting against the confines of your adorned cage and the embrace of your loving captors.

every time they help you heal, it makes you forgive, and it makes you forget their prior kidnapping in return of building new memories with them, in a safer haven, with nobody to hurt you any longer, with nobody to bash your head against concrete walls, to punish you. you who is underserving of the circumstances bought upon you back then.

safe, a word you thought you'll never feel, a word you didn't even know existed in the crevices of your heart. but it is with them that you slowly start to associate safe with family.

the family that you've come to love and cherish in your own imperfect ways, the same way a stray dog becomes too loyal to a passerby when given bones for leftovers every day.

but you're not an animal, and you're not a pavlovian dog meant to be conditioned. no, you're their baby, their love, their treasure and their only one. the love they feed you exceeds beyond leftovers. only you can devour them wholly, the same way they cloak your world in the love that fills that neverending pit in your heart.

you're not biologically related to any of them in any way, too. yet it was all a matter of coincidence that they stumbled upon you.

but really, past is past.

then is then.

now it's just you and them.

it's you, with them.

just your family. overbearing, overprotective, overpowering.

but nothing is always over to you. their love isn't too much. how could you tell yourself it's too much? not when you were never given a basis of what is too much. how is one too much when you were never even given enough?

trust is built upon a foundation of connecting with others who can relate with you one way or another, who can see past through your flaws and mistakes— it's a bond that precedes mere acquaintanceship.

you might've met them later than everyone else, but it's you that completes them.

you're the puzzle that completes the family photographs, the goal for bruce to continue his legacy as batman and to ward off all evil, the inspiration for dick to be that aspiring hero everyone sees him to be, the reason jason begins to reform himself for your sake, the purpose for tim's endless pursuit of knowledge, the muse for damian's painting, the subject for his love he thought was no more, the ambition for steph's prolongation despite her countless of failures, the motivation for barbara to seek out all the criminals who have harmed you, the influence for cass to be stronger to protect you, the catalyst for duke to use his metahuman abilities for good, to take out those who walk in broad daylight, as if they weren't involved in your past tortures.

you're everything that they are.

their sunshine and moonlight, their companionship and loneliness, their pain and pleasure, their yin and yan.

their greatest passion.

a/n: hii guys erm. this is so sudden and also counts as a rant but yk... i feel like quitting this blog but at the same time not. it's just, i feel like writing has been more of an obligation than anything else. it doesn't help the fact that i've only been getting interaction if i were to actually produce something good. beyond that, it feels like people are expecting more of me. i get it, updates are sporadic, they appear in the blink of an eye when you least expect it, but at the same time it's just hard juggling what i want to write and what i feel like i need to write. this blog was primarily to post about my thoughts and to talk to people but lately, every time i open this app to write, i feel these plethora of thoughts and expectations telling me that if i don't do well enough then people would merely ignore whatever i post or it's just bad by standards. and yes i'm grateful for all the people supporting my writing, but at the same time i'm lead to a cycle of me losing my motivation to continue writing. ugh idk what im doing anymore help :((

tl;dr: will i stop writing? no, but at the same time i don't know. someday, i may deactivate this account out of impulse if i feel too much, or not. it depends hehe.

[moeitsu]

Explaining the James Logan Howlett (Wolverine) Lore for the new fans :)

I made this as a little cheat sheet for all the new Logan/Wolverine fans, in case you’ve never seen the movies or read the comics. Hopefully it’ll help with your fanfics and understanding his character better <3

Logan is my favorite of the Marvel superhero’s, and he and I go way back….so far back that my Dad dressed up as Wolverine and I as Rogue for Halloween in 2006. So he holds a very special place in my heart.

Lore - Part 2  Wolverine Comics

If you’ve seen X-men Origins: Wolverine, I hate to break it to you, but that backstory is not canon to the X-men universe. The later movies really screwed up the timeline. So the information here is strictly from the comics.

════ ⋆★⋆ ════

Pre-Adamantium Binding:

His real name is James Howlett, ‘Logan’ is later used as an alias to distance himself from his past.

He was born sometime around 1880, in Alberta Canada.

He is the illegitimate son of Elizabeth Howlett and Thomas Logan. He grew up on the Howlett estate and believed John Howlett was his real father.

His mutant powers first appeared when he was a child. He has accelerated healing, heightened senses, and retractable bone claws.

The trigger was caused by Thomas Logan killing James Howlett. The overwhelming fear and anger made his power manifest, blinded with rage he kills Thomas.

As his biological father dies, he reveals to Logan that he is his true father. The event is deeply traumatizing, and Logan runs away from his family estate. His mother commits suicide shortly after.

Logan has a half brother known as Sabertooth (Victor Creed) who has similar powers to the Wolverine but is more ‘animalistic’

The details vary across the comics but the brothers are always seen as rivals. And often pitted against eachother.

Logan served in WWI, WWII, the Korean War, and the Vietnam War.

He also served in a Canadian military force known as ‘Department H’ that specialized in superhuman affairs. (This was after the experiment, I’ll go into more detail later)

Sometime before the Weapon X program: On Earth-616, Logan had a wife (Itsu) and son in Japan where he was training at the time. They were killed by the Winter Soldier (Bucky Barnes)

Weapon X Program - Adamantium Binding:

The Weapon X program was run by multiple people working in secret for the Canadian government. Originally beginning in 1845, their goal was to experiment on mutants and create their own super-soldiers.

Logan was deceived and manipulated into undergoing the Weapon X experiment. He did not consent to being a test subject.

For some reason the X-Men Origins movie makes it out to be that Logan willingly chose to undergo this process, only to later reveal that he was tricked into doing so.

Before being captured, he was still struggling with his identity, he was close to 100 years old at the time. His life was filled with violence and loss. Making him physically and mentally vulnerable.

He was a prime target for exploitation.

Part of the experiment was to completely erase his memories and replace them with false ones. This allowed them complete control over him.

This also made it difficult for him to recall how he ended up in the program to begin with.

I repeat: they completely wiped his memory. His whole identity was gone.

100 years of memories were gone.

The bonding process turned his entire skeleton and bone claws into indestructible metal.

Due to his regenerative nature, Logan was not given anesthetic or put under for the procedure. It was excruciatingly painful.

Logan worked as a mercenary for private military contractors. He took on these assignments without fully understanding their implications because of his fragmented memory.

Sometime later he became a member of X-Force, a private military unit (affiliated with the CIA) that dealt with incredibly violent operations.

The purpose of the project was to create an unstoppable killing machine. With their end goal being to erase his humanity all together. However Logan’s mental fortitude allowed him to resist the conditioning and make his escape before it was too late.

After escaping, Logan developed a mistrust with authority. And just people in general. He felt deeply betrayed by the Weapon X program. And he struggles with the fear of being used as a weapon.

The escape and aftermath of Weapon X:

After everything Logan went through, the intense trauma and confusion significantly impacted his actions and mindset.

He was left with extreme psychological damage, and behaved more as an animal than a man for the first few years of his freedom. Living in the wilderness of Canada.

Quite literally a feral man. He lost touch of his humanity. Embracing his animalistic abilities, turning him into an apex predator.

Logan has the ability to enter something called “Beserker Rage” which he becomes entirely driven by animalistic instinct. Turning him into an unstoppable force and exerting himself for very long periods of time.

Think of when you see him running on all fours…

Over time, Logan began to regain bits and pieces of his humanity. He was later discovered by Heather and James MacDonald Hudson who took him in and helped him recover physically and mentally.

(Logan actually fell in love with Heather, and James became his best friend. They were the closest thing he had to a family)

After he recovered, he was recruited by the Canadian governments ‘Department H’. They were responsible for a lot of his training and became a key member in Canada’s superhero team: Alpha Flight.

This is where he took on the code name “Wolverine”

His time with Alpha Flight was short lived. And soon he was approached by Charles Xavier, who was looking for mutants to join his X-Men. He recognized Logan’s potential and offered him a place on the team as well as the promise to help him regain his memory.

Logan accepted, and his time with the X-Men marked a critical and significant moment in his life. Under Xavier’s guidance he was able to rebuild his identity and gradually piece together his past. All while fighting for the rights of mutants.

Being part of the X-Men gave him a sense of purpose and direction. Although his main goal had always been to uncover what he had lost, which was himself. He still struggles with trust and relationships, but eventually forms strong bonds with the other X-men.

His past with Weapon X still haunts him. And he has vivid and terrible nightmares about what he had done and what was done to him.

I won’t go into detail about his time with the X-men because that varies a lot across the comics. Just know that he had a love-hate relationship with them, but he ultimately loved them in the end.

Some sad facts about Logan that actually haunt me:

Logan has outlived everyone he ever loved. Family, friends, even his own children. He is so so so lonely.

Immense amount of survivors guilt. He feels unworthy of the life he continues to live.

He suffers from chronic nightmares. Often waking up in a violent and panicked state.

Deep-seated fear of abandonment that goes all the way back to his early childhood. He isolates himself to protect himself from more pain.

Tons of self-loathing. He believes himself to be nothing more than a killer. He thinks he is unworthy of love and happiness.

In the “Old Man Logan” storyline, he is tricked into killing the entire X-Men team. This event haunts him for the rest of his life.

Logan had a long, unrequited love for Jean Gray. He has watched her die multiple times, and each time a piece of him dies with her. On one occasion, he even had to kill her himself.

When he succumbs to “beserker rage” he loses control of himself. And the aftermath horrifies him. He is even afraid of himself at times and one of the reasons why he distances himself from others.

Some happy/soft facts to make up for everything you just read:

Logan is incredibly fatherly at times, often taking younger mutants under his protection and guidance. He becomes a mentor to them and looks out for their well-being.

In one of the comics he takes a young girl (Jubilee) to the mall and followers her around carrying her bags. He loves doting on her and I find it so adorable.

He also teaches another mutant named Kitty how to dance.

In one mission he is tasked with taking care of an infant, Hope. And he is incredibly gentle and tender with her. Cradling her in his arms and being fiercely protective.

He has a deep love and connection with animals. Especially ones that have been mistreated or misunderstood.

Caring for an injured wolf, he nurses it back to health and releases it back into nature.

He also adopts a stray, abused dog at one point.

In one of the timelines, he funded and ran the ‘Jean Gray School for Higher Learning’ He was the headmaster, and was dedicated to protecting and teaching young mutants.

In one scene he literally makes pancakes for all the students. I love him so much.

His relationship with Nightcrawler (Kurt Wagner) is very brotherly. They share alot of respect and understanding for each other, and Nightcrawler often serves as Logan’s moral compass.

His happiest memories are when he was training in Japan. And he has a deep appreciation and admiration for the culture. Taking on the samurai code of honor, and respecting its discipline and humility.

His entire relationship with Laura Kinney (X-23). Essentially his daughter. Taking on a father-figure role for her.

In one of the comics he organizes a birthday party for her, knowing she never had one. He goes all out and it shows just how much he loves her.

Logan has a great sense of humor. Often dry and sardonic, he’s known for his quick wit and playful banter. Which adds a layer of warmth to his otherwise tough persona.

He is very fond of life’s simple pleasures. Which reflects his inner desire for peace and normalcy. He values the little things that make life enjoyable.

His numerous acts of kindness towards strangers. Logan is compassionate at heart.

He doesn’t comfort others with his words, but rather his presence. Logan has a very unique understanding of grief and tries to give others relief in knowing they aren’t alone.

WOW okay I wrote way too much. Tbh I actually cut a ton out of this but if anybody wants a part 2 I’d be happy to share more. Shoutout to my brother for helping me source all this with his comics lol.

If you read all this, you’re a real one. And I’m so glad we’re all witnessing the Logan Howlett Renaissance