#familial rainy rainbows

[mrchiipchrome]

Glass Child

W.C. - 6 k

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The middle child. Often known as the “forgotten” sibling, the one who never gets enough love, never enough attention, the one who’s never enough. 

Never the one to blow out their own candles on their birthdays, never the one to get driven to their evening practices even when it was rainy and muddy. Never the one to get told they’re loved, nor that they’re enough. Never the one to be the favourite.

Yet always the one to listen to their parents argue late into the night, always the one to be blamed, always the one pressured to do great academically. Always the one who has to prove and find their place in the family, yet never actually finding it.

One older brother and one younger sister, that was what you had, one sibling on either side of you for every family photo but never for anything more. Your brother was out of the house before you could turn 6 and your younger sister was what your parents liked to call a rainbow child.

She had nearly died at birth after all, not enough oxygen going to the brain leading to slight mental disabilities and getting all your parents love. You weren’t even sure they had ever told you that they were proud of you. No, all their attention was always on Lila. 

No matter how much you vyed for their attention, no matter how many accomplishments you had, the trophies and diplomas you brought home, their attention was always on Lila. 

Lila, the golden child. Lila who could do no wrong. Lila who even after screaming and punching you, would get a hug and kiss on the head. 

You, who were left to raise yourself. You, who were never enough for them, never good enough to be loved and cherished like your sister or even your brother who had left you. You, who had the weight of the world on your shoulders with no one to help carry it.

Every footballing tournament you’d ever had would be about Lila, what did Lila want? Was Lila comfortable? Does Lila want to go home? 

Well that was when they actually made the effort to come, something you could count on one singular hand how many times they’d done. No, to sit through a few minutes of football for their daughter to feel needed and wanted was far too difficult for them.

Anything not involving Lila was far too difficult for them. Anything not revolving around herself was far too complex for Lila to comprehend, the second your parents looked away from her she was kicking and screaming and they were forced to look at her, whilst you were left unloved and unseen.

So when your brother started to visit once a month, you couldn’t have been more excited. There would finally be someone to be there for you, someone that would look at you for once, appreciate your existence. 

Well he started out like that. He’d come to your games and cheer you on, he’d take you out for ice cream after just the two of you. For the first time in your life you didn’t feel invisible.

But then as time started to pass, he came home less and less, until the visits were so few and far between that he practically disappeared from your life. Gone were the days of feeling wanted and needed, you were back to being a ghost in your own life.

Even coaches started to forget you, it was like you just blended into the background, like you were invisible.

Then slowly, your teammates started to ignore you too, barely even looking at the shell of a person you were during exercises. And slowly you started to accept it, the role of the ghost.

You put your head down, working even harder in school and on the pitch, only this time it was for yourself and not for anyone else.

Slowly it got harder for your coaches and teammates to ignore your ever growing presence, but it was made easier for them when you ignored them back. It might’ve not been the best coping mechanism, but it was one nonetheless.

When you got the offer to play at a big youth academy, you just ran home to tell your parents, purely by a combination of hope and excitement. It was in your excitement that you completely forgot who they were.

“MUM! DAD! I got into an academy in the city!” You shouted as soon as the door closed behind you, football bag with only the essentials in it dropping to the floor loudly.

“What is this ruckus Y/n. You know better than to interrupt Lila’s sleeping time. Pick your bag up and go to your room right this second young lady.” Despite her shouting louder than you had, you were still the one who got in trouble. 

“But I just wanted to tell you-” The words come out defeated, your parents not once being happy for you taking a toll on your entire being.

“But nothing.” She says sternly, pointing to the stairs. Head pointing towards the floor, you don’t let her see the salty tears forming in the corners of your eyes. She wouldn’t care anyway, not when her precious Lila still existed.

The walls shook with the amount of force you used to slam the door closed, the shouts of your mother lighting up the corridors like fireworks. The tears finally escaped when you were in the comfort of your own room, throwing your bag down to the floor harshly.

The bag wasn’t your source of frustration but once again it didn’t have any feelings either, it couldn’t see or feel, neither could it gain consciousness. So, it was the best thing to take out all your frustrations on.

But no matter how much you kicked and punched, no matter how many bruised knuckles you got from the hard materials inside the bag, it still didn’t get better.

Your parents weren’t going to magically start to care for you just because of some bruises, not when you had come home with far worse and they still hadn’t cared. You didn’t exist to them, their lives only revolved around Lila, the sun to their earths.

Picking up a plastic figurine from the ratty old desk you had inherited from your brother, you launch it across the room and directly into the wall. With a pop, the head of the Captain America figurine separates from the body, rolling across the hardwood floor almost mockingly. 

When the realization of what you’d done hit, you dropped down to your knees with a thud. Picking up the scratched and broken toy off the floor, you clutch the parts to your chest tightly like they would disappear if you loosened your hold ever so slightly.

How could you break the only thing your brother had ever given you? ‘Keep it safe for me, yeah?’ He told you when he left the house you grew up in the last time, he had said that he didn’t need it where he was going. You knew in the back of your mind that he wouldn’t care about the broken state of the toy, but the overwhelming and conflicting feelings waging a war inside you amplified your emotions tenfold.

You weren’t used to this, crying. No, it was much easier to compartmentalize your feelings, to experience your feelings rationally and not as emotionally as you just had.

But it seems like the feelings were far too strong this time, creating an earthquake of sorts in your mind that opened all the drawers of the imaginative dresser where you stored all your emotions. And so they hit you all at once, all the negative emotions and thoughts crashing into you like powerful waves.

Eventually there were no tears left to fall, empty sobs escaping your mouth every now and then, face buried in your knees with your back up against the wall. Breathing in deeply, you lean your head back against the colorless wall, wishing you could be anywhere but there at that moment.

Bringing your hands up to your face, they slowly fall back down to your sides, your muscles relaxing for the first time since you had come home. There was no point in just sitting there and sulking, the pitch not too far from your house calling your name.

Walking over to the bag, you open it up and pull out the old boots, they were falling apart at the seams but that didn’t matter. They would work another 6 or so months, as long as you stitched them back together.

The window creaked as you opened it up, throwing your now closed bag onto the bushes that lined your house. Climbing over the ledge, you sit down on the wooden lining, hands coming down to clutch the material tightly. Turning your body around, you lower yourself down until your arms are fully stretched out, pressing your feet to the wall and pushing your body away from the building.

Landing on your feet, you hurry to pick the bag up off the bush with calloused hands, the years of carrying the bag back and forth from training having taken its toll on your hands. Quick steps echo in the night air, nearing the uncared for pitch in record time.

Soon enough the thwack of your boot hitting the ball over and over is the only thing that can be heard, cleats ripping into the grass and pulling up the deep brown dirt underneath it. By the time you were done your knees ached and your feet were even worse, the boots not the most comfortable things in the world.

With some luck, you manage to find a ladder at the corner of your house, leaning it up against the brick wall of the house and climbing up it carefully. When you’re safely inside your room, you push the ladder away and close the window.

It becomes a routine of sorts, wake up, go to school, take the bus to the academy training grounds, train, go home, study and then go out to the pitch for another 2 or so hours of football. It was good, out there you could forget everything and just focus on getting better.

And that you did, quickly becoming one of the best youngsters not only in your academy but also in the country, much to your surprise. Life wasn’t slow and boring anymore, it was fast paced and fun for you.

Months passed by, a U-15 call up hitting your desk a single month before you turn 13, leaving you to celebrate your birthday alone in your hotel room. There was no way that you would tell a bunch of strangers of such a trivial thing, it wasn’t like they had even noticed you there, they already had their friend groups.

Thankfully, you seemed to have impressed the right people as you got called up time and time again after, showing everyone why you deserved to be there with strategic kicks of the ball and passes not even most professional players could make. It came naturally after so many hours of playing and subsequently watching people play.

Camp after camp you watched your teammates interact with each other, see them laugh and smile with their friends whilst you were on the outside looking in. It was no longer a problem, being alone, an expectation rather than a surprise.

Luckily enough for you, the senior call up happened only weeks after turning 16, leaving the older girls to take you under their wing. It was certainly…different, a completely new experience.

You had finally reached the top that you’d yearned for, getting recognised for being one of the best footballers in the entirety of England. The years of invisibility far gone, now praised enormously for the efforts you made during each and every game.

It got overwhelming quickly, all the attention from coaches and outlets alike only fuelling your need to perform, leading to countless hours spent out on the muddy pitch. Football, no matter how stressful, was your reprieve. Your savior of sorts.

You’d think after countless hours spent with your football that your passion for the sport would burn out, but in your case all it did was reinforce your spirit.

At 17 you got the option to either sign a professional contract with your youth club or go to America for college football on a full ride scholarship. Your decision to choose the latter of the two was less than popular with your parents.

“Mum, dad. Can you two give me your attention for once?” You question, sitting at the dinner table only meters away from where they’re washing the dishes.

“Why don’t you wait until the adults are done?” Your sorry excuse of a father shoots back, chuckling with your mother.

“I’m going away for college soon. In America.” The clanging of utensils hitting the metal surface of the sink interrupts the tense silence created by your statement.

“What did you just say?” Her tone was dangerously sweet and calm, almost trying to lure you into a false sense of security.

“You heard exactly what I said. There is no opinion to be had here, I was simply paying you two the courtesy to know.” Despite your tone being nonchalant, you were anything but. Leg bouncing up and down anxiously under the table, fingers fidgeting with each other.

“No. Y/n Y/l/n you are not leaving us to fend for ourselves, not like your brother. We need you here, Lila needs you.” Your mother basically pleads with you, reaching across the table to take hold of your hands.

Before she can even try to get near them, you pull them back towards your body harshly.

“Oh so now you need me? Now that I’m leaving you need me?” Your father has his arm slung around your mother’s shoulder, rubbing his hand up and down against her arm. “What about all the times I needed you two? All of the countless tournaments I participated in only for the coaches to ask me where you two were. You two have caused me so much pain and embarrassment.” 

“That’s unfair, your sister needed us more.” Your father tells you harshly, eyes drilling holes into the sides of your head.

“So? I couldn’t get one second of your time once a year?” You ask incredulously, their eyes widening in exasperation. “Me leaving for college isn’t even going to change anything, all you two do is care about Lila.” The last part comes out mumbled, so that the two adults in front of you couldn’t hear.

“I do not care for what you have to say, you are not going anywhere.”  

“And why not?” The card up your sleeve hasn’t been played yet, you wanted to revel in their expressions.

“Because we’re the adults here and we decide.” He responds lowly, as if trying to intimidate you.

“Oh but you’re forgetting something. As of an hour ago I am officially 18 years old and I get to decide whether I go or not.” You have to keep from laughing when their faces drop almost comically, eyes wide and jaws on the floor.

And so without much protest, they let you leave your childhood house only days later, getting on a plane out to North Carolina. It didn’t matter that the official season hadn’t started yet, you just wanted to get away.

Weeks passed by before any familiar faces appeared, the Brits you’d met during your stint in the youth groups of the national team. They were part of the main friend group, hugging and laughing with each other every second they got.

In reality, you had found them rather annoying at that age, shrill voices interrupting the otherwise peaceful environment. That’s why you could often be found in your hotel room, studying or messing around with a plushie football.

This time around you had been informed that you were to share a dorm with one of them, something you weren’t that opposed to. They were all nice after all, just a bit loud.

“I don’t know if you’ve heard but we do in fact have another Brit here in the team, someone the two of you have probably encountered before.” The loud voice of one of your American teammates floats through the hallway leading to your room, the notes just about getting through the music streaming into your ears.

“Oh shit.” Rushing to close all the open books on the table in front of you, the light knock on your door is heard through the bustling. “Come in” You let out nervously.

“Alessia, Lotte meet our resident Brit, Y/n Y/l/n!” The jazz hands coming from the older American doesn’t hide the absolute mess of your room. Your suitcase was laying messily on the ground, your body the only thing in the way of the war stricken look of your table.

Sticking your hand out towards the women, there’s a slight crash behind you, face scrunching up in a way that suggests that you were uncomfortable.

“I’m so sorry for the mess, I completely forgot about everything I was supposed to be doing today.” They both shake your hand, the brunette taking a firm hold of your hand whilst the blonde grasps your hand lightly with her much softer one.

The blonde looks around the room, a bed on either side of the room, one looking occupied and the other one bare.

“So Y/n, Alessia here is going to be sharing this dorm with you, plenty of time to get to know each other before the season starts.” All the American accents were hard to get used to, often quite startling.

You both nod your heads, not finding much to say regarding the arrangement. Alessia gets a pat on the back from the older student, letting her suitcase drop to the ground carefully.

“Come on then Lotte, let’s get you situated!” As soon as they appeared, they disappeared out of the messy room, Lotte following after the American like a duckling would its mother.

As the door closes behind them the room gets covered in a thick blanket of silence, Alessia still standing where she stood coming into the room and you with your back now turned to her, picking up the papers. 

“Please excuse the state of our room, I completely forgot that you were coming.” The words fall out of your mouth clumsily, your social skills still not up to par.

“Oh I understand, don’t worry.” Her voice is honey-like, smooth and sweet, almost like a Disney princess. When you turn back around the first thing you notice is her incredible beauty, something you didn’t exactly see before in your nervosity. 

“You’re in the senior squad right?” She asks, looking back at you with her baby blue doe eyes. Her intense gaze leaves you to clear your throat loudly, eyes blinking vigorously.

“Yeah I am.” The pitch of your voice peaks up at the end, leaving your statement to sound more like a question than anything. Her melodic giggles fill the room, your heart thumping painfully against your ribs at the sound.

“Are you asking me?” Her hands come up to tuck the hair that’s fallen in her face back behind her ears, her eyes scanning over your pajama clad body.

“Yeah I am.” You say more confidently this time, trying to right your earlier wrong. “Wait, wait, no” Her laugh mixes with yours this time, Alessia’s adorable expression lighting up the room. When the laughter halts, she stands up more straight with her hand out towards you, ready for you to take with your own.

“Come on, take my hand.” The forward urges you playfully, her head tilting a fraction to the right. Her hand feels warm in your own when you grasp it, a soft smile sent your way by the older girl making your insides all warm. “Hi, I’m Alessia Russo but my friends call me Less.” Alessia decides that the crease that appears between your eyebrows is adorable, her eyes flitting over your face.

“We’ve already been introduced?” This time the questioning tone is meant, genuine confusion plaguing your mind.

“I know, but just humor me for a second, okay?” The warmth flooding from your hand up throughout your body seemingly gives life to the butterflies fluttering their wings in your stomach. An unfamiliar but not unwelcome feeling.

“Hello, I’m Y/n Y/l/n but my teammates call me Ghost or some variant of it.” You reply cheekily, hand coming down to rest at your side. 

“Why is that?” She speaks up, a confused tone lingering in her voice.

“Because I’m a ghost from the 1700s that’s haunting this college.” Raising your hands up above your head, you let out an ‘ooo’ sound imitating a ghoul.

Her giggles start back up again, the midday sun peeking in through the blinds, leaving pale stripes on the dark floor. The comfortable silence between you two stays for a while, neither one of you really moving from where you’re seemingly glued to the floor.

Eventually she turns back to her bag, starting to unpack her luggage tentatively, not really knowing where to put her things.

After some thinking she seems to get a bit more comfortable, throwing her stuff here and there still making sure to keep to her side. The headphones resting over your ears play no music, allowing you to hear her humming under her breath, singing softly to the tune.

In the months that passed after your official introduction quite a lot happened. For starters, the college season started after a lot of struggle on your and Alessia’s part, Lotte fitting in with the other girls almost immediately. The blonde had a sense of protectiveness over you, the clear lack of social skills on your part making her pay extra attention to you to make sure that you weren’t alone.

Though there was that awkward moment when the striker asked you where your parents were after the first game, because surely it was too important to miss. The worried glance she shoots you when you make up a half-assed lie about them not getting enough time off to fly out and watch you. 

Needless to say, you spend the rest of that day in the library so that she can show her parents around the campus. And like the very mature 18 year old you are, as soon as you hear the sweet accented voice of your teammate in the quiet library you shoot up from your place on the old bean bag, weaving through the rows of books in order to escape your roommate and her happy family.

It wasn’t your fault per se that you were slightly jealous of her having parents that cared for her, and it sure as hell wasn’t her fault that yours were the way they were. It was better to just stay out, so that you wouldn’t get attached to a family that wasn’t your own.

Later that night, when her parents had left for their hotel, she questioned you intently on where you were the entire afternoon. Another lie followed, you telling her that you just had things to do, things that you couldn’t tell her about. 

She eventually let it go, but not before giving you a suspicious glance through the corner of her eye. You clearly weren’t good at lying, something she could see rather easily. 

“So, Y/n, do you wanna have breakfast with me and my parents tomorrow? They’ve been dying to finally meet you.” She asks, sitting down on your bed, her legs dangling off the end. Her hand comes up to lay on your leg, goosebumps rising on your skin whereupon her hand rests.  

A blush rises on your face, both at the question and her hand. You hadn’t even realized that she’d told her parents about you, but now it was obvious, parents in the movies always asked their kids all about college.

“Oh uhm, you know, I don’t want to intrude on your time with your parents.” Lifting your hand up, you make the motion of waving her off, not expecting her free hand to take yours.

“You wouldn’t be, they asked to meet you since you were so ‘busy’ today.” Her eyes stare into your soul, still soft and caring. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to.” Alessia’s baby blues look down at the pattern on your blanket, her hand on your leg tracing the patterns into your skin.

“NO, no, believe me Alessia, I would love to go…” Your voice trails off softly, looking for the correct words so as to not reveal exactly why you were hesitant.

“But…” She continues your sentence.

“But I’m not good with people, and I don't want to give them the wrong impression of me. Family’s important for you, from what I’ve heard, and I just want yours to like me.” Somehow her eyes soften even more, the blonde girl moving up the bed to settle beside you, her arm snaking over your shoulders. Your head lands on her collarbone, one hand still holding onto hers tightly.

“Don’t you worry, if I like you, which I do, then they will like you as well.” She smiles down at you, faces inches from the other’s.

A knock on the door interrupts the moment, the loud noise making the two of you jump apart. The door opens with a creak and Lotte pops her head into the room, a large smile on her face at your and Alessia’s seeming closeness.

“Not interrupting anything, am I?” She asks teasingly, Alessia immediately shooting her the meanest glare she could muster up, though that was like being glared at by a marshmallow. Your face on the other hand was redder than a tomato, the insinuating words making you nervous.

“No not at all, I was just about to leave for my evening run, I’ll see you both later!” You basically sprinted out of the room as soon as you had shoes on your feet, taking to jogging your normal round more than once. 

By the time you were back in the dorm room, your feet were aching unpleasantly and your blonde counterpart was asleep. It was a begrudgingly difficult task to tiptoe around the room without waking the blue eyed girl, but in the end you managed not to wake her.

Though she’s not nearly as careful the next morning, stomping around like a maniac and making a bunch of noise for you to wake up to.

“Less, what are you doing? Let me sleep.” The last word of your sentence was drawn out thoroughly, groaning as you stretch out your body.

“Nope, no time! We’re meeting my parents in 20 minutes at the cafe.” She comes up and boops your nose before letting you spring up from the bed, rushing around the room at 100 km/h, gathering up all your nice looking clothes and letting Alessia choose the optimal pairing.

All the way to the off campus cafe you were stressed, but the way Alessia’s hand fit so snuggly in your own was a little comforting. She knew about your anxious nature around new people, even if those people were the least judgmental ever.

“It’s going to go great Y/n, my parents already love you, trust me, there’s basically no way that you can make them hate you.” Her words soothing you more than she’ll ever know, your shoulders feeling like they’d had a massive weight lifted off them. 

With newfound confidence, you get through the breakfast like a champ, even enjoying the entire thing. Alessia’s parents were everything yours weren’t, they were kind and generous, loving and sweet and all around great people. You wondered what it would be like to grow up with parents like them instead of yours.

And it seems like you made a good first impression on them too, because as you and Alessia said your goodbyes they gave you the warmest hugs you’d ever gotten paired with a big kiss on the cheek.

Alessia couldn’t understand why you burst into tears as soon as the two of you were in the comfort of your own dorm. It came so suddenly, the tears that seemed never ending and the sobs that echoed around the small room.

As soon as Alessia heard the first sob escaping your throat she turned around, being met with the sight of your hands covering your face, trying to subside the tears streaming down your face.

“Hey, hey, what happened love? Why are you crying?” Her voice grows worried quickly as her hands take hold of your forearms. She tries to remove your hands from the premise of your face, thinking that you’d hurt yourself.

“It’s nothing, it’s just…your parents are such wonderful people and I guess I just wish that mine were the same.” You regret the sobbed words as soon as they exit your mouth, of course you would be so stupid as to tell her about your parents. Now you’d have to tell her the truth about them, there was simply no avoiding it.

“Oh, if you don’t mind me asking, what do you mean?” Her voice is softened, like when talking to a baby, and her arms hold you tight against her chest. Alessia’s hands move from your forearms and down around your back, rubbing her hand up and down softly. 

You’d known each other for months yet the topic of your parents hadn’t come up once. It was funny really, the way that they’d destroyed your childhood.

Inbetween a couple sniffles you begin the whole story, speaking slowly so as to not burst out in tears at every broken memory, every missed game, every single thing they’d not done for you.

“Uhm, I don’t really know where to start, but I know it all started with the birth of Lila, my sister. She was a…difficult pregnancy for my mom and uh when she was born there were complications. She didn’t get enough oxygen to her brain and uh that led to her being disabled, not enough for it to impact her life but enough for my parents to uhm…get attached to her. She’s their ‘rainbow baby’ and it seems like everything she’s ever done overshadows any of my or my brother’s achievements. It’s like as soon as they brought her home from the hospital both me and my brother were invisible. But he was lucky, he got to go off to uni within a year of her birth, me? I had to wait 14 years to get out.” You let out a humourless laugh at the end, not even looking the blonde in the eye after she tried to get you to.

“They never came to a game, no matter how big of a deal it was, they always let my sister blow out my candles on my birthday cake and they gave her more gifts on MY birthday than they did me. You want to know what they did when I told them that I had been recruited by an academy? They told me to shut up because my sister needed rest. On my senior team debut they left early because my sister wanted to get ice cream, it was the one moment for me to show them that I didn’t need them to be great, do you understand how embarrassing it was to look around for your parents after scoring twice on your national team debut only to see that they’re not there? The embarrassment of being asked why you’re not celebrating with your family? Of being worth so little to the people who made you that they couldn’t even be assed to sit for ninety minutes for their daughter? All I’ve ever wanted was for them to notice me, love me, care about me, but all that wishful thinking went away that day. I no longer cared for them or anything other than my teammates and footy. So yeah, that’s the entire story.” You didn’t even notice that you’d been talking for the past 30 minutes nor that tears spilled out of both you and Alessia’s eyes. When you finally looked up and in her eyes, they were filled with salty tears just like your own, tears that fell quietly and slid down her face peacefully.

Bringing your hand up, you quickly wipe her face softly, her baby blues enhanced by the layer of tears over them, slight redness to the whites of her eyes.

Alessia’s eyes bore into your own, her eyes expressing hundreds of feelings, everything from sorrow and empathy to love and kindness. It’s not until she looks down at your chapped lips that you finally understand what it is you’ve been feeling since you first met her again after so many years. 

It wasn’t nervousity or stress, it was love. Pure, genuine, unconditional love. You were utterly in love with the striker. And by the way she was inching her face closer to yours, she was pretty in love with you too.

Your lips meet hers in a soft and innocent embrace, all your emotions spilling into the kiss. Her lips were soft and they tasted of strawberries, her favourite chapstick the same taste. 

Your lips moved against each other’s softly for just a moment shorter than you wanted. Her eyes were closed as you opened yours just a sliver, observing the way one of Alessia’s hands comes up to touch at her kiss swollen lips softly.

When her eyes finally do open, they’re met with still tear stained cheeks and a big happy smile. The baby blues meet yours and they instantly see the love and adoration in them, it’s so obvious that she nearly starts crying again.

“Okay love, before we talk about what just happened i want to say that your parents missed out on the best person I’ve ever met. You are so wonderful and beautiful and you have so many wonderful people who love you to death, me being one of them. During the last few months that you have been apart of my life you’ve showed me that it’s possible to love someone more than anything. You have endless passion for football and for your friends, you’ve inspired me to become a better person simply by being you and that’s one of the most amazing things that I’ve ever witnessed. You’ve done a better job at raising yourself than most parents do with their kids and I want you to know that I’m so proud of you. I can’t comprehend how they could be so blind that they missed what a wonderful person you are. I’ve loved you since the first time I laid eyes on you, your hair a mess from pulling at it and books scattered all around the room. I love you so much that it feels like I’m going to burst whenever I’m around you.” You can see the sincerity in her eyes as she looks at you, smiling ever so slightly.

“I love you too Alessia. I’m so in love with you that I’m going mad.” The way she picks herself up from the floor has you convinced that she’s going to leave you there where you sit on the floor, all alone. Only that’s not what she does, instead she holds out her hand for you to take.

“Come on love, go get cleaned up so I can take you on a date.” Her hand playfully taps your behind as you walk away towards the sink to wash the tears off your face, and you turn around to glare at her playfully.

5 long years later and you’re lifting the Euros trophy alongside your co-captain and subsequent maid of honour Leah and your longtime girlfriend soon turned fiancée. 

All you could think after she said yes was how incredibly lucky you were to have someone like her in your life.

[egcdeath]

the l word

pairing: joel miller x reader

summary: the five times you realized that you loved joel, and the first time one of you says it. 

word count: 9.1k

warnings: canon divergent, no apocalypse, 5+1 fic, hurt/comfort, a certain someone gets punched, brief mention of postpartum depression & abandonment, really brief mention of physical abuse in 3, fluff, domestic fluff, angst with a happy ending, found family

author’s note: happy very early valentine’s day! this is part three of the soccer parents au, you can read spectator sport (p1) and clean sheet (p2) here!

this fic would not be possible if it were not for the help of @freakinfairykind, who sent me the idea for scene 3 and listened to my thought vomit whenever i hit a roadblock! you can thank them for the brilliance that is what occurs in that scene :)! enjoy!

part four / series masterlist

Zero

After Nathan, you were sure that you would never fall in love again. Love was supposed to be beautiful and soft—a random bouquet of flowers, having a whole conversation with just your eyes, sweet messages sent to you when you expected it least and needed it most, and foot massages after a long day. For you, love had been nothing of the sort—settling for mediocrity, spitting out venomous words during arguments, and biting back tears on forgotten anniversaries. 

Love wasn’t kind or patient, or rainbows and flowers. Love was a storm cloud that followed you around when you were around him, pouring sadness and anger on you and striking you with lightning bolts of resentment. 

Maybe some people just simply weren’t meant for love. Maybe you were one of them.

One

After years of trying to hold together a failing marriage and hide the myriad of painful feelings you were going through for the sake of your daughter, bottling up your feelings had become your preferred coping mechanism to everyday stressors. 

For the most part, it worked for you. Sure, some days were harder than others, and the smallest confrontation or blip in the day would send you spiraling; but more often than not, you were able to compartmentalize whatever was bothering you and save it for a rainy day.

That was part of what worked so well about the relationship you had with Joel during the soccer season—you had the opportunity to unscrew the lid of the shaken bottle of your feelings just a little bit, taking some of the edge off by yelling about completely inconsequential things. But now, you don't have that outlet. And today was one of those days that you desperately needed it. 

Nathan had come by to pick up Chloe just a bit ago, and it was very obvious that she hadn’t exactly wanted to spend her weekend with him. Some of her friends were going to the mall and having a sleepover, and because Nathan wasn’t particularly fond of their parents, he’d very openly told her no. She begged and pleaded to stay with you (mainly so she could go hang out with her friends), which of course broke your heart a little bit, but also led to a pretty dramatic outburst from your daughter to Nathan when he’d picked her up.

“You’re raising a spoiled little brat,” he hissed at you, pointing an accusatory finger once Chloe was in the car. 

“At least I’m raising her. You only show up when it’s convenient for you,” you shot back. If Nathan wanted to stoop low, you could fall to his level. “Put your finger down. She’s watching us.”

“A little argument won’t hurt her,” he scoffed. “See? You’re proving my point: you spoil her too much.”

“Because years of watching her parents bicker wasn’t traumatic enough? Get in the fucking car, Nathan.”

He huffed, looking back at the car, then over at you. “Fine. But before I go, I’d appreciate it if you stopped talking poorly about me in front of her. Clearly she’s listening to you and acting out because of it.”

“Have you considered that you’re just a shit father and maybe that’s why she doesn’t like you?” you were already making your way back inside, feeling the avalanche of emotions beginning to stir inside of you, and a little frightened of what might come out next. 

“You’re still such a bitch. Every day I praise every deity that’s out there that I left your sorry ass.”

You were viciously fighting the urge to get the last word in, knowing that whatever would come out next wouldn’t be good, and you certainly didn’t want Chloe seeing you like that. You left him with a sarcastic thumbs up, then slammed your front door, taking deep breaths to attempt to calm yourself down.

You crumbled down in front of the door, still maintaining slow and deep breaths. It was no big deal. Nathan just says stuff like that to stir the pot. You just needed to find something to take your mind off of everything. Your mind went to the scarf you’d been working on crocheting, something you could mindlessly do for a little while while you cooled off. 

The scarf was going well. You were calmly crocheting the evening away when you checked your phone to find a few apologetic messages from your coworkers. Feeling confused, you went on to check your email, only to find that the promotion you’d spent the last few months of your life slaving away for had been given to someone else—someone who had worked half as hard as you, and even took credit for a few of your projects. 

Your hands shook as you set down your phone and attempted to pick back up the crochet hook. You were fine, right? Sometimes these things just happen. Sometimes you sacrifice hours of your free time, hours of time you’ll never get back with your child, or significant other, hours you’ll never get back of sleep, hours of-

You cut your mind off, tossing aside the scarf and taking a deep breath. You were gonna be okay. This just meant you could take your foot off the gas going forward, since your work, effort, and time clearly was not being valued. Maybe you would just sit at your desk and play games, then slap your name on projects and presentations like Naomi. Maybe you’d just-

Your phone began to vibrate on your bed and your immediate reaction was to silence it, but upon checking the contact name, you became slightly more inclined to answer. 

“Hey! I almost thought you weren’t gonna pick up,” the man on the other end chuckled. 

“Is everything okay?” you asked, although you weren’t sure you’d be able to handle anything else today. With how your day was going, Joel was probably calling you to break up.

“Better than okay. We finished up early, and Sarah’s already at her friend’s. You in the mood for some company?”

No, not particularly. In fact, if Joel came over, you’d probably end up going off on him over something you don’t really mean, successfully putting an end to the best thing you’ve had in a while. 

“Uh,” your voice cracked, and a rogue tear slipped down your face. You didn’t even know that you were on the brink of tears. “I’m sorry,” you uttered, digging the heels of your hands into your eyes. 

“Sorry for what? You don’t have to feel bad for not wanting me over,” he said genuinely, not picking up on your emotional state over the phone. 

“No, I do want you over,” you whimpered. “I just… I don’t want to lose you, too.”

“What? I promise you I’m not going anywhere. Well, I’m going home now, but I can also come to your place if you want me to.”

“Please,” you grit out. 

“You okay?” he asked, finally catching on to the fact that something was very off with you. 

“I don’t know,” you confessed. 

“Do you want me to stay on the phone with you?”

“No.”

“You sure you want me to come over?”

“Yeah,” you sniffled, desperately trying to fend off your tears.

“Okay, sweetheart. I’ll see you soon, alright?”

“Bye,” you hung up, burrowing yourself under layers of blankets and curling up onto your side. Maybe this tidal wave of emotions would pass by the time Joel got to your place. You closed your eyes as you took deep, shaky breaths, wiping away stray tears every now and then as they fell. You could pull yourself together. 

You kept telling yourself this as you dragged yourself out of bed to answer the door, but the moment you saw Joel with a box of chocolates and a bouquet of flowers, you completely lost it. He immediately tossed the items down and pulled you into a tight embrace, not exactly knowing what was wrong, but instinctually wanting to comfort you regardless. 

You didn’t even really know what it was either. Sure, you were pissed that you’d lost the promotion, and even more upset that Nathan had called your daughter a name while insulting your parenting skills, but it was far more than that. It was every little thing from the past two months that had upset you in some capacity that you had decided to push as far down as possible. 

You sobbed until your throat was raw and your eyes grew sore from crying so much. The whole time Joel wordlessly held you, rubbing soothing circles into your back and swaying you back and forth just the slightest bit. You almost felt like your tears would never stop, and the more you willed yourself to pull it together, the harder it was to do so. 

Finally, you pulled away, head hanging with humiliation by the emotions abruptly pouring out of you. You truly felt like a live wire. You should’ve just told Joel not to come over. 

“Want me to run you a bath?” he asked softly, tilting your chin up so he could look at you, and rubbing a thumb over your cheek. “Or is there anything I can do to make you feel better?”

“A bath is good,” you said quietly, averting your gaze. You almost felt like a toddler in the midst of a tantrum. The shame of being a grown woman who couldn’t even control her emotions was overwhelming, but Joel didn’t seem to mind much at all. He simply led you up to your bathroom and quietly filled the tub for you, checking it every now and then to make sure it wasn’t too hot. Once the tub was filled up, he helped you undress, then held your hand as you stepped into the tub. 

“Would you like me to stay?” Joel asked as you settled into the tub. 

“Not really,” you admitted. 

“Okay. Just yell for me if you need anything. I’ll be downstairs.”

Somehow, the bath was everything you needed. It was just warm enough to relax your rather tense muscles, and just quiet enough to allow you to actually process your thoughts. You sat and soaked in the bath for a while, just inhaling the scent of lavender, and trying your best to let go of the feelings that you’d been holding onto for so long. 

Eventually, you felt ready to talk about things, and called out Joel’s name, who after a moment, showed up in your bathroom and sat down on a towel next to the tub. 

“How are you feeling?” he asked, reaching for your pruny hand. 

“Better,” you answered as you laced your fingers with his.  

“Well, I’m here when you feel ready to talk about it. And if you don’t feel ready to talk about it, that’s okay too.” 

“Okay,” you said quietly. “I’m sorry,” you apologized, the apology being more of a force of habit. 

“You don’t need to be sorry,” Joel  assured, “we all feel our feelings sometimes,” he pushed away a bit of hair that had fallen into your face. 

“I’m sorry you had to see me like this, I guess,” you continued. It had been a while since you’d shown any negative emotions in front of anyone, let alone a significant other. In fact, the last time you’d been sad in front of a significant other, you’d been laughed at and mocked. You’d been conditioned to see your own vulnerability as weakness, as a character flaw you needed to apologize for.

“Like what? Naked?” he teased, trying to at least make you smile when you’d clearly been feeling so down. “You know I don’t mind that at all. Seriously, though. There’s nothing wrong with being upset, and there’s nothing wrong with being upset in front of the people you care about.”

A tear slipped down your cheek. It had been so long since anyone had made you feel like you weren’t a burden for having a rough day. Joel gently brushed away your tears with his thumb, and kissed your forehead. 

“Thank you,” you muttered, feeling all sorts of feelings, particularly one feeling you couldn’t quite describe that had been lying dormant for years of your life. 

You eventually got out of the tub once the water had become too cold and you had become

somewhat of a human prune, and you found yourself curled up in bed with Joel, wearing a flannel that he’d left behind the last time he was over. 

“Feeling any better?” he asked once again, gently rubbing your back as a trashy reality TV show played quietly in the background. 

“Yeah,” you mumbled as you looked up at the ceiling, “it’s been a rough few months.” 

“Months?” Joel asked, scooting closer to you. “What’s been happening?”

“Too much to get into,” you sighed. “I guess it just all came out now.”

Joel turned down the volume of the TV, and turned his body so that he could face you properly. “If you want to talk, we have the time. I may or may not have drank a coffee on my way over here, so I’ll be completely alert for the next few hours.”

He gently grabbed your hand and squeezed it, a little reminder that he was here for you. 

“Today’s just been… bad. When Nathan picked Chloe up, she was upset so he called her a spoiled brat and said that it was my fault that she was one. Obviously I do a lot for her, and I know that I’m a good mom, but sometimes the way he talks about her scares me a little. I don’t want her to have self-esteem issues because her dad likes to name-call. I mean, she’s probably gonna have enough issues from our shitty relationship and messy divorce. That really upset me, but that definitely wasn’t the last straw or anything.”

Joel silently sat and listened, holding your hand and listening attentively.

“I lost the promotion, Joel. You know, the one I’ve been working absurd hours for? But it’s not just that, it’s just… there are months of emotions I haven’t had a chance to process. I guess it just all came out now after that.”

“I’m so sorry,” he said softly. “Nathan is an asshole. He shouldn’t be saying that kind of thing about his child just to make you feel bad. And your boss is stupid for not giving you that position when you’ve clearly earned it. Everything you’ve felt today is valid, but so is everything else that you’ve been holding in for the past… however long. It’s okay to feel your feelings in the moment instead of waiting for them to boil over.”

“I guess, it’s just… I don’t know. I’ve had to be strong for so long. I don’t know if I know how to not wait for my emotions to boil over.”

“Well, you don’t have to be so strong anymore. You’re not alone,” he assured you. “If you ever need me to watch Chloe because you need to go out to the middle of nowhere and scream, or just need someone to talk your feelings out with, I am more than happy to do so. Okay?”

“Okay,” you agreed, setting your head on Joel’s chest. 

You were getting that weird, dormant feeling in you once again. There was an odd warmth in your chest and butterflies in your stomach, that felt strange and familiar, but most of all, exciting. You had no idea what was going on, or what that feeling was, but you did know that you didn’t want it to stop anytime soon.

And honestly, it didn’t seem like it would. 

Two

Walking into Joel’s home to the sound of soft guitar chords made you feel a bit like you had woken up in a dream, or died and gone to heaven. It wasn’t often that you’d heard him play guitar. Sing? Sure! He loved to sing along to a song he liked on the radio, or do karaoke with you and the kids. But playing guitar was something that he seemed to like to keep to himself.

Joel had picked Chloe up from school, as you had an important work event that you’d anticipated going quite late, and as you’d predicted, it was nearly midnight by the time you got to Joel’s place. It was rare for you to see those two alone, without yours or Sarah’s presence, but you’d assumed the latter had gone to bed due to how late it was and the fact that they had school in the morning.

So hearing Joel play for your daughter felt… weird. But a good weird. Like he trusted her enough to be doing something that he often kept under wraps, even for you.

“I love this song!” you heard your daughter exclaim from the living room. You rounded a corner, not quite ready to appear yet, but curious enough to eavesdrop on the scene.

Joel chuckled at her reaction, “should we sing it together?”

“Maybe, I’m not very good, though.”

“I doubt that,” Joel said, continuing to play the introduction to the song on a loop. 

“I… fine, I’ll sing.”

The two of them began to sing along to the song, and you could’ve sworn that your heart did an actual flip as you listened. There was something very sweet about the whole scene, of Joel playing a song your daughter loved, of him assuring her that she was good enough, and singing something together. 

You should’ve felt bad for listening in on the scene, for invading on a moment that was clearly meant to be private, but you just couldn’t bring yourself to feel that way when your heart was so filled with… something that you couldn’t quite place.

The song came to a soft conclusion, and you figured there was no better time to finally step out from behind the wall than then. 

“You guys sounded so good!” you stated as you entered the room.

“Oh hi,” Joel greeted a little awkwardly, looking down at his guitar as if he’d been caught red handed. 

“Mom!” Chloe exclaimed, coming over to you and hugging you. “I missed you.”

“We were just killing time while we waited for you to get home. How was work?”

“Eh,” you shrugged, sitting down across from Joel as Chloe curled up next to you. “It was work.”

“Mom, did you know that Joel sings and plays guitar? He’s really good!”

“Really? I didn’t know that,” you acted surprised for your child, but looked mischievously at your partner. It wasn’t often that you had the chance to get Joel to play you something, and you refused to let the opportunity slip away from you. “Can you play me something?”

“He can!” Chloe accepted the offer before Joel could begin to protest. God, was this child your mini-you. “Go ahead, Joel.”

He looked to you as if he needed some sort of excuse to not do it, or encouragement to play (more likely than not, he was looking for an out), but you simply shrugged, far too enthused at the idea of him playing guitar for you. 

Just as the man sighed and began to put his fingers to the string, Sarah came down the stairs and plopped herself right next to you. 

“You guys are loud,” she stated, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. 

“Sorry for waking you up,” you apologized. “You were just about to miss your dad’s concert!”

“Oh good,” Sarah giggled, getting all comfortable next to you as she pulled a blanket over her lap. 

“I feel like this is a premeditated attack,” Joel held onto his guitar. 

“It’s definitely not. We just want you to share your gift with the world!”

“Alright, fine. Only because I like you guys so much.”

The three of you cheered from the couch as Joel began to play again, the soft acoustic notes of a love song you’d heard a few times before. As Joel played and sang, he looked straight at you, and you couldn’t help but feel like the lyrics were coming straight from his heart to you. 

That warm, fuzzy feeling in your chest that you’d become more and more familiar with over the course of your relationship began to reappear as you sat there, the moment a snapshot of the perfect domestic bliss that had become your home life. As you sat with your two favorite children in the world, and your favorite man, you realized that you’d never felt more content in your life. 

Three

When you agreed to come to a bar with Joel, you hadn’t expected it to be a quaint little hole-in-the-wall with great live music. 

The atmosphere was lively, the drinks were dangerously sweet, and best of all, it was cute watching Joel in his element. Part of you wondered if he ever saw himself up on the stage, playing for a little audience. Although, he was so bashful and shy playing in front of you and the girls that you wondered if he would like it at all. 

You finished off your first drink rather quickly, but you were feeling up for another, and prepared to head back to the bar. “Do you want another drink?” you asked Joel over the loud music. 

“I’m alright. Thank you, though,” he kissed your cheek, then looked back up at the stage, directing all of his focus there once more. 

You made your way back to the bar, where you ordered another fruity drink for yourself and patiently waited for it to be made, humming along to the cover being sung on stage. 

Being able to find out more about what Joel liked to spend his time doing was (unsurprisingly) quite nice. While he was vulnerable with his emotions, he was often a little more closed off when it came to sharing his hobbies and interests. You wondered how many of these live shows and open mics he was familiar with, how many local artists he was friends with. Would he ever feel comfortable enough around you to share those things with you? Well, you certainly hoped so. 

You looked around with a small smile on your face at the thought of learning more about your partner’s interests. Had he ever been the one up on stage? Maybe before Sarah was born and he was launched straight into the time consuming world of fatherhood. Although, he surely would’ve shared that with you by now.

You were drawn out of thought when eyes landed on a head of hair that looked a little too familiar for your liking.  

No.

There was no way.

This bar was definitely not his scene. In fact, if you’d suggested this bar, he would’ve laughed in your face and called you a hipster, before dragging you out to some stuffy restaurant where he’d complain about the portion size of both his meal and the bill. 

Your mind was just playing a mean trick on you. You’d had a somewhat stressful week, and sometimes drinking made you the slightest bit paranoid. Besides, it was just someone’s hair. Literally anyone could have that hair color, or hair cut, and although the world was small, it wasn’t that small. 

Just as you began to fall headfirst into your nerves, the bartender handed you your drink, and you walked back to Joel, head still in the clouds. 

You couldn’t shake that off feeling, even as Joel danced around with you and stole a sip of your drink, both actions bringing a smile to your face, but not quite quelling the growing discomfort in your stomach. 

You just needed to go clear your mind and freshen up. At least, that’s what you told yourself before telling Joel to keep your drink safe and power walking to the bathroom.

You stood at the sink, splashing your face with water as cold as the faucets would go. Nathan was not here. You needed to just relax, and enjoy the fun date that Joel had planned. You couldn’t keep letting this man ruin your experiences, even when he wasn’t present.

“You okay, hun?” a voice asked you while your head was bowed over the sink. When you looked up, your eyes nearly popped out of your head, as if you were some ridiculous cartoon character. 

Well. Your brain must’ve really been fucking with you today. Or the Universe just really hated you. 

Claire, Nathan’s new girlfriend, was asking you if you were alright in the bathroom of a bar that your new boyfriend had suggested. 

You were completely unsure of whether she knew who you were or not, although she seemed tipsy enough not to care. 

“Oh, I’m fine,” you smiled awkwardly at her. “But, uh, my mascara’s a little smudged. Any chance you have a makeup wipe?”

“Yeah!” she said, digging into her purse to check for the item. 

You’d never met Claire before, but as far as first impressions went, this one wasn’t too bad. She offered you the wipe, then stood next to you as you dabbed at your under eye. 

“You meet anyone fun tonight?” she asked, beginning to touch up her own makeup. 

“No, I’m actually here with my partner. He really likes the music,” you said casually, dabbing at the same spot so you could at least attempt to maintain your composure in an otherwise dramatically ironic and tense situation. 

“Oh no. Was he the one making you cry?”

“Cry? No! I was sweating. We were dancing,” suddenly, a slightly perverse question crossed your mind. “Does your partner make you cry a lot?”

“How do you even know I have one?” she giggled, sounding less accusatory and more confused. 

“I don’t I just-“

“No, not really,” she shrugged as she reapplied her lip liner. “He mostly just buys me shit and spoils me. What would I have to cry about? He’s a really good guy.”

Oh, you remembered that phase. Well, phases. The time after he’d slapped you during an argument immediately came to mind. Nathan could probably teach a seminar on love bombing, then making you feel guilty for having any negative feelings because of all the money he’d spent on you. 

“That’s good,” you nodded, tossing the used wipe in the trash and making your way to the door. “Thanks for checking in on me and helping me. Have a good night.”

“Hey, do I know you from somewhere?” she asked as your hand hit the door.

“No,” you replied promptly, maybe slamming the door behind you a little too hard. 

This was a lot to process, and a lot to take in. Despite having a fun time with Joel, you really just wanted to go home. Finding your way back out to him, you silently accepted back your drink and stood besides him stiffly. 

“You okay?” he asked, gently grabbing your arm. 

“Fine, just… just.. I have an upset stomach,” you explained. You were never a good liar, the concern in Joel’s eyes told you that you hadn’t suddenly become one. 

“I’m sorry, sweetie,” he said, rubbing your forearm gently. “Let’s go home, okay?”

You certainly didn’t protest as he began to lead you out of the bar, and you let out a sigh of relief at being able to leave before running into anyone else you knew.

Although, life was never that simple, was it?

As you approached the door, a familiar voice called out your name, sending a chill up your spine. Joel’s head whipped around from where it was coming from, and scowled when he saw who the voice belonged to. Ignoring him, the two of you continued your departure, a newfound urgency in both of your steps.

Once you were outside, you felt yourself puff out a sigh of relief. You’d managed to get out of the bar with only a brief conversation with Claire, and no direct interaction with Nathan. Now, if you could only get home, curl up with Joel on the couch, and tell him the absurd story of how you’d bumped into your ex’s new girlfriend in the bathroom. 

But the universe clearly wasn’t letting you off the hook just yet.

“Hey!” Nathan called as he stepped out of the bar, Claire trailing just a few paces behind him. “You’re such a fuckin’ bitch. Can’t even say hi to the father of your child.”

You were almost alarmed by the speed in which Joel marched over to your ex and reprimanded him. Not even wasting a moment, Joel shoved him back—a warning of sorts, with your knowledge that he was certainly holding himself back. 

“Leave her the fuck alone,” he barked. It was like no tone you’d ever heard him use before, not when he was upset with anyone, and not even when he was yelling at a referee for a bad call.  

“And who the fuck are you?” your ex shot back. 

“Does it really matter?” Joel pressed, not backing down despite the slightly shorter man getting in his face. “You’re not gonna go around trying to degrade women.”

“Oh yeah? You gonna stop me, Mr. Nice guy?” Nathan pushed Joel, but your partner barely budged. 

“You fuckin’ cuck,” Nathan muttered. “Why do you even care about this whore?”

Nathan took a second to think about it, glancing between the two of you before a light seemed to go off in his little brain. 

“Oh, I know. You’re that guy from the soccer games. You two together now?" His condescension was almost jarring to hear, and part of you worried about what your clearly inebriated ex might say or do next. “I see you’re still the community cumrag,” he directed at you. 

You hardly had a moment to process what was just said before Joel was swinging, clearly seeing red as he threw a hefty right hook at your ex, leaving a nasty crunching sound as he fell to the ground. 

“Don’t talk about her, or any other fucking woman like that ever again,” he squatted down to his level, and grabbed both of his cheeks. “Leave her the fuck alone, you understand me? Or next time you’re gonna wish it was just your nose.”

Nathan cradled his bloody nose and whimpered and Joel walked back to you, the fury on his face melting into something apologetic as you looked at him with wide eyes.

“I’m sorry,” he began, cautiously approaching you as if he was something to be afraid of. “I shouldn’t have done that. I overstepped-“

“Joel. Don’t apologize. Do you know how much that asshole deserved it? You did everyone a favor tonight, but especially me.” 

You had never had someone defend you so literally before. Sure, your friends had argued with Nathan a few times on your behalf, but punching Nathan in the face had truly raised your expectations for anyone who claimed to be doing anything to help you. You don’t think you’d have felt this alive or cherished in years. 

“Now let’s get you home and ice those knuckles.”

Four

You were usually a big fan of rainy days. The sound of rain pattering against the window or on the roof of your car, and the smell of petrichor on the pavement were sensations you wished you could experience all the time. But today, you weren’t quite so pleased to see the rain. 

You’d taken the day off to spend it with Joel, who had specifically asked for you to take some time off to be with him. You couldn’t blame him, as you’d been slightly neglecting him after things picked up once again at work. You’d had a whole outdoorsy day planned, with a morning hike, a visit to a conservatory, and a picnic at one of your favorite local parks. Unfortunately, none of those activities could be done comfortably in the pouring rain. 

Instead, you opted to come back to your place after you dropped your kids off at school, and have a domestic little day-in.

After putting some homemade cinnamon rolls into the oven, the two of you found yourselves on your couch, comfortably sitting together and reading your own books while the smell of warm cinnamon filled your house. 

Occasionally, you glanced out your window, the scene of rain granting you a sense of serenity. At one point, you noticed Joel’s gaze out the window as well, and you couldn’t help but comment on it. 

“Don’t you just love the rain?” you asked, setting your book down on your coffee table. It was more of an excuse to break the silence than an actual comment, but you said it regardless.

“It’s nice,” he agreed, his tone oddly somber for a comment on the rain. 

“You okay, big guy?” you asked before moving closer to Joel. 

“I’m alright,” he smiled, but it didn’t quite meet his eyes. There wasn’t any real concrete evidence that something was off, but something inside you told you that something definitely was off. 

“You sure?” you asked, squeezing his bicep. 

“Yeah, it’s just,” he paused, looking down at his book as if he was about to go right back to reading instead of telling you the issue. After a moment of hesitation, he spoke once more, “it’s the anniversary of Diane leaving.”

Oh. So that’s why he’d asked to be with you today.

You’d never heard Joel say her name before. Sure, you’d seen her name written under a polaroid or two, but you’d never heard Joel reference her ever. Now that you thought about it, you didn’t really know what their deal was. Amicable exes? Divorcees? Was Joel a widower? You felt awful that you’d gone this far into a relationship and still didn’t know anything about his last significant one. 

“I’m sorry,” you said quietly, not completely sure how to react. You mainly wanted to get a gauge on Joel’s reaction–just how upset was he? Did he want to talk about it? Or just get the importance of the day out in the open?

“It’s just… Today feels like that day in a lot of ways.”

You nodded slowly, still not exactly sure of how to approach the situation. You thought back to all of the times he’d been there to support you when you were having a rough day, and ended up asking aloud, “is there anything I can do to make you feel better?” 

“Maybe just listening, if that’s okay. It helps to talk about it,” he paused. “The rolls smell done. I’ll go get them,” with that, he was off to the kitchen, barely giving you time to react, or even protest his departure.

He clearly wanted to talk, but just wasn’t completely ready to do so at that moment. You could listen. You could be the best damn listener on the planet if that was what Joel needed from you. No matter what he revealed to you today, you were determined to make Joel feel comfortable, and know that whatever he was going through, he wasn’t alone—just as he’d shown you in the past.

By the time he came back to the living room, Joel offered you a plate with an iced cinnamon roll and acted like everything was normal. He sat back down next to you, stole a bite from your plate, then buried his nose right back into his novel.

You respected his right to process his emotions in any way he saw fit. All you could do was be a good partner, and offer whatever he needed from you to feel better, like he’d done for you so many times before. 

While you were fine with spending your day cuddled up on the sofa and reading, you were also aware that there were a good amount of house chores that were calling your name. Upon mentioning these tasks, Joel insisted on helping out, which was how you two landed in the laundry room, laughing at something stupid that had happened to you this week. 

While you loaded light clothes into your washer, Joel suddenly caught you off guard with a question that was a far cry from the banter you’d just been having only moments before. 

“Is it… are you okay with me talking about it?”

By it you could only assume he meant the giant elephant of a woman in the room. 

“Of course,” you turned to him, offering sympathetic eyes. 

“She left just a few months after Sarah was born,” Joel busied himself by pouring out laundry detergent and fabric softeners. “I just woke up one morning to an empty bed and a note in the kitchen saying she was leaving, she wasn’t coming back, and not to look for her.”

You were taken aback by the cruelty of such an abrupt ending, especially with such a young infant. You couldn’t imagine being put in those circumstances so unexpectedly. 

Joel casually poured the respective liquids into their proper places in the machine, then turned it on. “It was a day just like this. The nursery had a nice, big window that we put a rocking chair in front of. Sarah liked looking at the stars when she was younger, it always helped to calm her down. I remember holding her in that chair and bawling my eyes out while she cried too, and with all the rain against the window… it felt like the Earth was crying right along with us.”

You weren’t sure what to say or how to react, but it seemed like Joel was prepared to move right on, quickly changing the subject as he led you out of the laundry room. 

Baking cinnamon rolls had left a lot of dishes in the sink, but luckily for you, you had an extra set of hands to help you out. Joel was on rinsing duty, and you were on loading.

You quickly found your rhythm, as you often did with partnered tasks. You worked quietly while loading the dishes, letting the music from your speaker fill up the silence, but it was obvious Joel was lost in thought.

Eventually, he quietly began to speak again, “I kept trying to make sense of her leaving. I knew that postpartum depression hit her really hard, and that she was barely sleeping at night because of how often Sarah was crying. Sarah was a really sensitive, fussy baby. She’d told me how she’d felt a few times, and I always kinda thought things would just pass. Every new parent hits that roadbump where they just can’t see themselves doing this thing forever, right? Then, she just left. I thought maybe she just needed a few days away, and that she’d be back. But days went by, then weeks, then it had been a month, and it was still just Sarah and I.”

“Did she ever come back around?” you asked, setting down the last dish into the sink, then closing the machine.

“Never heard from her again.”

You closed the distance between you and the man, wrapping him in as tight of a hug that you could manage. 

“I’m so sorry,” you muttered into his shirt as he melted into your embrace. “I can’t even imagine how painful and stressful that was.”

As a mother, you couldn’t imagine abandoning your child; the tiny human being you spent nine months carrying, and would spend a lifetime loving. But as a human, you understood the stress of being the parent of a newborn. Waking up every few hours because your baby is crying and you’ve tried everything to get her to stop but she just… won’t. Paired with postpartum depression, which you were no stranger to, you could understand the circumstances that led Diane to feeling like she had no other option but to leave. But that didn’t, in any way, make it the right thing to do. 

As you held Joel, a sound you hadn’t ever heard from him escaped his lips, wracking his body. A guttural cry that had clearly been trapped deep inside of him for the longest time had suddenly escaped as he recalled an event that had clearly changed his life. 

You stood in the kitchen holding him for what felt like forever, when he finally pulled away, wiping his face a little bit. 

“Thank you,” was all that he managed to get out.

You laid next to him in bed after a rather emotionally loaded session of lovemaking, trying to catch your breath as the two of you recovered from the underlying emotional and physical aftermath of your fornication. As Joel spooned you, a question lingered on your mind. 

“Do you still love her?” you asked, keeping your eyes forward on the wall. You wanted to say you were sure he had moved on, but these types of situations were rather nuanced. There were just some bonds that regardless of time or circumstances, people continued to hold on to. 

“No,” he answered clearly. “I don’t hate her, either. I guess I just understand her. But that doesn’t make what she put me or Sarah through any better.” 

You slipped your hand down to where his were currently laying on your stomach, and you set one on top of his. 

“I’m not jealous, I’m just curious. Do you ever miss her?” 

“I used to,” he sighed, the close breath blowing some hairs on your neck. “I don’t anymore.”

Eventually, your laundry was dry, meaning you two needed to get out of bed and get to folding. 

“She has a new family, now,” he said out of the blue, as he folded up a pair of your pajama pants. “Husband, kids, dog, the full nine yards. Tommy found her Facebook a few years ago, but I still haven’t looked. I don’t really know why.”

You didn’t really know why either, but you knew exactly the feeling he was experiencing. Seeing your ex who you’d invested so much into and had a child with move on with someone was a particularly gut wrenching feeling. You could only imagine how much worse it was in Joel’s scenario, where Diane had abandoned him and their child, yet had a child and built another family elsewhere. 

“Does Sarah know?” you asked, putting a blouse onto a hanger. 

“Bits and pieces. She kinda just accepted that her mom’s not in the picture, but doesn’t know why she left or anything about her mom’s new family,” Joel finished up with his basket, then began to help you with yours. “Maybe when she’s older. Old enough to understand that it isn’t her fault and that these things just… happen sometimes.”

“I guess,” you frowned as you grabbed your last article of clothing and hung it up. “It shouldn’t have happened, though. Neither of you deserved to be abandoned.”

“It was gonna happen one way or another,” Joel shrugged, putting your baskets away. “Our relationship had been on the rocks even before Diane became pregnant. If it wasn’t then, it would be later. I’m just glad it happened early enough that Sarah doesn’t remember. You in the mood for a coffee?”

His words gave you a bit of whiplash, but you accepted the offer of a warm drink regardless. 

You sat at your table, stirring your drink as Joel sat down across from you. 

“Good, right?” he asked. “I think I’ve officially nailed the way you like your coffee.”

“It’s pretty good,” you admitted, taking a sip from a mug that Chloe had decorated in her school’s art class. 

“I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“Good. It is one,” you hummed. 

It was clear that his mood was slightly improving the more that he talked about his experience. You wondered just how much of this information he’d shared with anyone else before you, as he told the story as if he were confessing something for the first time ever. 

“I’ve never told anyone this much about it,” he confessed. “I’m glad that of all the people I could’ve told, it ended up being you.”

“Joel, I,” the words popped into your head, but died on your tongue. “I care about you so much. I know this can’t be easy to talk about, so thank you for sharing this with me,” you squeezed his hands across the table. 

“Thank you for being so supportive. I also care about you a lot. So much that it scares me. Especially knowing that you could lose everything in a literal night,” he admitted. 

“Oh Joel,” you said softly. “I’m also scared. I’m always so scared that I’ll lose you and Sarah and this little blended family we’ve made. But if that’s the price I pay for… caring about you so much, I’m okay with being afraid.”

Joel looked at you like he had something to say, but instead sat there quietly for a moment, processing your words. “Do you want to watch an episode of The Bachelorette?” 

“Is that even a question? C’mon,” you stood up.

The two of you cuddled up on the couch once again, this time with a much lighter feeling in the room, partially due to what Joel had confessed to you, and partially due to the absolutely ridiculous content playing on your television.

“I’m sad that I had to go through what I had to go through, but I’m glad that it led me to you,” Joel said out of the blue, resting his forehead against yours.

You were glad that he found you too.

Five

It wasn’t every day that the forces of the universe seemed to be on your side, but for some reason, today was one of those days. 

When you’d been called into your boss’ office that morning, a pit formed in your stomach. You’d figured that the day you were going to be laid off was coming, especially following the whole promotion fiasco. As you walked into her office, you fully intended to be walking out without a job. 

Except, that wasn’t what happened. You had been promoted, and promoted into a position even higher than the one you’d previously been gunning after. 

Once you found out, you had to fight the urge to skip out of your boss’s office, singing and dancing with joy. Instead, you fought that urge by closing the door to your office, and calling Joel. 

“Hey honey, what’s up?” he answered casually. 

“Joel, they promoted me! And it’s an even better position than what I was trying to get before!” you squealed. 

Joel cheered from over the phone, making you somehow smile even harder. “Congratulations! I’m so proud of you. I can’t think of anyone who deserves this more than you.”

“Oh my god, stop it,” you giggled, putting your hands up to your warm cheeks. 

“No, I’m serious,” Joel countered. “I know a lot of hard workers, and none of them work as hard as you. You’ve sacrificed so much to get here and it’s finally paid off.”

“Thank you, Joel,” you had more to say, but you decided to keep it to yourself. Mainly, how did you get so lucky to end up with a man like him? 

“Are you busy tonight?” he asked. 

“I’m just dropping Chloe off at my mom’s, then I should be free for the evening. Why?”

“Why don’t you come over to my place so we can celebrate? You picked the right time to get a promotion. Sarah’s going to her uncle’s for the weekend.”

“Sounds good to me,” you hummed. “I’ll text you when I’m heading over.”

“Alright. Again, congratulations! So proud.”

You hung up and attempted to get back to work, but you were far too excited to focus for too long. You somehow made it to the end of the work day and to Joel’s house without spontaneously combusting from joy.

When you walked in, you were immediately met with the smells of one of your favorite candles, mixed with the mouthwatering scent of fragrant coming from the kitchen. 

“Joel, I’m home!” you announced, making your way to the kitchen only to find it very dressed up. The lights were dimmed, a crisp white table cloth rested on the table, and a gorgeous arrangement of flowers sat in a vase in the middle of the table, right next to a rather nice looking bottle of champagne. 

Joel was finishing up plating something spectacular as you came in. “Please, have a seat,” he directed. You didn’t need to be told twice. 

With the arrangement of the table, you almost felt like you were sitting at a fancy little restaurant, but better, knowing all the effort Joel had put into making the table look this way.  He brought over two plates, set one over at his seat and one in front of you, before leaning down and kissing you gently. 

“Congratulations. I am so, so, so proud of you,” he said after finally pulling away, reaching for the bottle of champagne on the table.

“If anyone in the world deserves good things,” he turned away from you so that he could safely pop the bottle. “It’s you. I’m glad you’re finally getting the recognition that you deserve.”

With the bottle opened, he poured you out a glass, then poured himself some. You lifted up your glass and Joel mirrored you.

“Cheers,” you said with a grin, tapping your glasses together, then taking a sip. Once you finished drinking, Joel leaned in for one more kiss before he situated himself back into his chair. 

“I think you deserve a promotion from best boyfriend in the world to best boyfriend in the universe,” you softly laughed, looking down at your plate. 

“Do I? I think anyone would celebrate the person they…” he paused for just a split second, and you probably wouldn’t have noticed it if you weren’t paying such close attention. “The person they’re sharing their life with if they made a big accomplishment like this.”

“Honey, you’d be very surprised. I can think of at least one person who would view this promotion as a bad thing.”

“Well, don’t think about them right now. This is an amazing thing, and we’re celebrating you today. Not an insecure man with a Napoleon complex and a small penis.”

You laughed out loud, nearly choking on a bubbly sip of champagne. 

“You’re right,” you picked up your fork and knife, reading to dig into the amazing looking meal in front of you. “Thank you for this, Joel. You always make me feel so appreciated and cherished. You’re truly one of a kind.”

He shook his head bashfully at the compliment, eating right along with you. It was almost cute how he never seemed to accept compliments, but certainly deserved them more than basically any other person that you knew. 

“You always show me how much you care about me. It’s only fair that I do the same.”

“You’re so romantic,” you sighed. “How can I guarantee that I can keep you around forever?”

“Just keep being you, I guess. That’s all I’ve really ever wanted.”

How did you get so lucky? How did you manage to hit the jackpot on men with Joel, almost let it slip through your fingers not once, but twice, and still managed to end up with one of your favorite people in the world? 

However it ended up happening, you certainly weren’t mad at it, and as you sat together, you hoped for things never to change. 

Plus One

Given that you practically lived at each other’s homes now, you often spent your mornings together getting ready to take on the day. It was cute how you both had your own little routines and were able to coexist in a tiny little space. 

Today, you stood in Joel’s bathroom, washing your face as the mirror across from you began to become progressively more foggy from the heat of Joel’s shower. 

“My hair is gonna be so frizzy,” you muttered to yourself as you rubbed moisturizer into your skin. 

“Hey, you’re the one who wanted to come in here with me,” Joel shot back from the shower, turning the water off. 

“Whatever,” you grumbled, getting back to work on your face as Joel dried himself off and wrapped a towel around his waist. 

“You’re so cute when you’re grumpy in the morning,” he commented as he approached you, standing next to you at the sink. 

“I am not grumpy,” you argued, then paused once Joel gave you a very disbelieving expression. “Fine. I can get a little irritable in the morning. Especially when someone’s boiling hot showers make my hair get all frizzy.”

“I wonder who that someone is?” Joel looked around the room in faux confusion. 

“Ugh, shut up. You are such a dad,” you fought back laughter, but you couldn’t really help the smile that appeared on your lips. 

“Shutting up,” Joel acknowledged, grabbing his razor and some shaving cream to touch up some of his facial hair. You began to brush your teeth, focusing on yourself in the mirror to make sure that you were making your dentist proud. 

Your eyes eventually migrated and were meeting Joel’s in the mirror. You flashed him a big, foamy grin, and he immediately broke into hysterics, setting the razor down so he didn’t cut himself while laughing so hard. 

“Really?” he asked between laughs. “While I’m shaving?”

“Sorry,” you shrugged with a self-satisfied smirk. 

“You are such a dork,” Joel sighed as he calmed himself down, leaning against the counter as he began to work on shaving his face once more. “Ugh, I love you,” the words seemed to come out of his mouth involuntarily, if the horrified look on his face told you anything. 

It seemed like the whole house stopped after Joel said it, the dripping from the showerhead ceasing, the faint buzz of the air conditioner nowhere to be found, and the noises of your children downstairs coming to a halt.

You were shocked at the admission, and Joel seemed to be shocked that he’d said anything. 

Now that he’d mentioned it, you really did love Joel. You loved how he supported you, and how he treated your daughter like she was his own. You loved that he wasn’t afraid to fight for what he believed in, especially when that included socking your ex in the face. You loved his ability to be vulnerable with you, and the way that he seemed to always know what to say at the right time. You loved knowing that no matter how shitty of a day you’d had, Joel would always be there, ready to order your favorite foods and spoon you while decompressing with the worst, most trashy reality TV you could find. 

You’d spent all this time thinking that you’d never experience romantic love again, that romantic love was tumultuous and exhausting, when you’d been in love with Joel the whole time. 

You were one of those people who were meant to love and be loved. Joel had proven that much to you. 

“I love you too,” you confessed, toothpaste still obstructing your mouth.

Maybe love wasn't so bad after all.

[gyubaseone]

❛ there's just something about you,

that brings the light out in me. ❜

solace ; a ricky smau. ‹𝟹 ✉️

𓈒 ﹒ ☆ 𓂂 ˚ ☆ ꙳ * ࣭ ࣭

౨ৎ ⋆｡˚ synopsis | ricky had never gotten the real chance of falling in love. it was the most perfect unperfect time for love yet ; he just never felt that spark with anyone nor did he have the chance to. that was until one rainy day when ricky stood at the school entrance with no way home. the moment he laid his eyes on y/n, things changed.

౨ৎ ⋆｡˚ genre | smau, acquaintances to lovers, she fell first; he fell harder, moon & sun, love at first sight, coming of age, romance-comedy, slight angst, sorta slow burn.

౨ৎ ⋆｡˚ warnings | kys/kms jokes, horrible humor, family problems, swearing, dark humor

⌞ solace playlist ⌝

₍^ >ヮ<^₎ .ᐟ meet the characters

hopeless romantics

academic weapons type shit

— TABLE OF CONTENTS. 💬

000. prologue : the first look

001. exploring the possibilities

002. a minor doubt

comment to be added to taglist ! bolded cant be tagged.

@lvieee @rickyvinn @ahnneyong @annoyingbitch83 @khaelscafe @jiaant11 @rainbows-dreams @p-romise9 @lovefooi @lluvjjun @lumixen @livelaughlovelicky @omgtintarr @sunoosluvr @aerivrs @njmluvr @igotkpoops @tzuberry @alwayswook @big-uwu-stan @beomstarz @wonluvrbot @gyuvinfan @ohwonzz @sleepymoon27 @soomelon @pheebswrld @dimplewonie @countmekocho @sparklingsjy @wonnotes @wtfhyuck @kpoprhia @ilovechanhee @hanjisbeloved @hannahbahng @xxpr3ttyk173rxx @wonyoungsvirus @eternallyhyucks @4hanbin @tlnyjoong @yuma-is-mine @star4rin

[loggiepj]

one day

Summary : Just a short fluff.

The scary thing about falling in love — it had a funny way of sneaking up behind your back when you least expected it. It would claw its way into your heart, build a fort there, take a big portion of space, and probably, either if you're lucky or unlucky, would stay there forever.

At least that's what Wanda felt when she first saw you.

It started when you and your family moved into the house just next to them. It was a rainy Sunday afternoon. Wanda and her twin brother, Pietro, were just fourteen years old. She could tell you were around the same age as well.

You were totally drenched as you helped your parents drag stuff after stuff into your new home.

"Y/n/n, hurry, you're going to be sick!" your mother called out from your doorstep.

Y/n/n. Y/n/n. Wanda could immediately tell your nickname suited you.

You wore a simple white shirt with a colorful rainbow printed on the back, making Wanda wonder about something. You laughed at your mother's scoldings as you carried in your arms a baseball bat, a cassette player and what seemed to be a huge telescope.

What struck Wanda speechless was the way you looked different. And there's something about your smile as you smiled back at your mother that made Wanda's heart skip a beat.

The word beautiful wasn't always in Wanda's vocabulary until that day. It was as if everything else seemed ugly and dull in comparison to you.

You had Y/e/c eyes and y/h/c hair tied in a bun. She immediately imagined how it would look like without the hairtie, how it would feel in her hands when she would thread her fingers through it. She wondered if you'd be okay with her brushing or caressing your hair until you fell asleep.

Wanda didn't even realize she was staring until Pietro made a comment about a drool he saw on her lips. He ended up with a small bruise on his arm that day from Wanda's punch.

Later that night, Wanda didn't even expect they'd have visitors as she came running down the stairs for dinner. But when she immediately saw your face, she stopped on her tracks. Frozen.

It turned out their ever kind and hospitable mother invited the new neighbors for a dinner. A sort of welcoming present.

Wanda's eyes went to send daggers towards a snickering Pietro, immediately knowing he was the one who suggested the dinner this time.

When your mother introduced yourselves to each other, Wanda couldn't stop repeating your full name inside her head, swearing she could have said your name out loud.

Wanda acted different that evening, not when she was seated next to you. She could even pass as stupid, when you asked for the bowl of mashed potatoes near hers yet she gave you her own plate instead.

Before she slept that night, Wanda made a comment to her brother about something weird with the food and what it was doing to her stomach.

It took her a moment to realize that the weird thing she felt inside her were butterflies fluttering all along.

Of course, you'd go to the same school she and her brother went to. It was the nearest one in the neighborhood. Wanda and Pietro rode their bicycles to get there every morning.

Wanda tried to avoid interacting with you, not because you were too pretty for her liking, but because she didn't want you to know how she was treated in the school, or at least by the evil classmates that she had, Natasha, Yelena and Maria. From how thick they put their makeups on, they could be mistaken as seniors.

"Oh, it's the witch again," Natasha sneered the moment Wanda entered the classroom. The joke made everyone laugh. Well, everyone except you.

When your eyes met, Wanda wanted to just run away and disappear from shame and everything. But she had to attend the class or she'd fail that year.

"Beware of her, Y/n/n," Yelena added as Wanda made her way to her seat. "She'd put a curse on you when you say something bad about her."

Wanda tried not to listen. She had grown immune to all the teasings about her.

It started when she went as a witch for a Halloween event back in grade school. Every girl that time were either a princess or a fairy. She was the only one who wore differently. And it wasn't even the beautiful sexy kind of witch, but the one with the green face and pointed nose.

Her brother was unscathed. But of course, he was a boy. Of course, he'd be safe. Unlike her, he was popular with kids. If it weren't for Pietro, she'd be bullied physically by her peers and not just with words.

"That's okay. I love witches," you said back with a smile, making Wanda turn her head towards you.

That must have been the first moment she fell in love with you.

You were different as years passed by. You talked to Wanda as if she wasn't weird. You even biked to school together with her and Pietro. You excelled both academically and in sports, making you popular in just a short time. But what made you more popular that Wanda would hear your name whispered in the school's comfort room or even the library was how you only liked girls.

That made Wanda wonder if all your lingering looks at her she swore she saw meant something. The electric touches. The awkward stutterings whenever you two were left alone by Pietro in their house some days you three decided to watch a horror movie together. And mostly, the way you'd come to her rescue like her knight in shining armor whenever the evil three were present and bullying her.

But she knew she wouldn't ask you out. She wouldn't risk losing your friendship. Especially when she revealed to you that she liked girls too after some guy named Vision asked her as dance partner in your junior prom and she declined, making you ask her why.

For years, Wanda stayed on the sidelines as she watched girl after girl threw themselves at you. She had gotten used to it, how you return their advances yet not too far as meeting their suspecting kisses. She thought her feelings were gone until you finally went out with a senior and dated her for a good couple of months. That must have been Wanda's first heartbreak.

Yet she didn't know she could be any happier than what she felt when news of your breakup spread out so fast.

But Wanda still didn't make a move.

Until it was senior prom. Wanda wasn't looking forward to attend it at all.

"But sis, it's our last year," Pietro insisted. "We wouldn't get to do this when we finally head to college."

"Come on, Piet," Wanda replied, turning the page of the book she was reading. "It's not like I'd miss anything special. Besides, I don't even have a dress and prom's two days away."

Pietro sighed. "You know Mom could always make a way for you when you just asked for it."

"Ask for what? What did I miss?" Your voice made itself known, making Wanda tear her glance away from the book to look at you as you entered then sat on the floor beside Wanda's bed.

"Wanda's not attending prom," Pietro confided, making Wanda threw the nearest pillow at him.

"What?" you asked, then you looked at Wanda. "But it's our last year, Wands. You wouldn't want to miss it."

As much as she'd miss hearing you call her name like that, she'd rather stay at home than watch dancers on the dance floor while she'd be left alone on the bleachers.

"That's what I was trying to tell her," Pietro said as he made his way out the door. "Now I have a party to attend to. And you," he pointed at you, "have a lot of convincing to do."

Then you and Wanda were left alone.

"I know what you're going to say," Wanda muttered as she opened back her book. "And my word is final. I'm not going to attend the prom when those cruel stepsisters of Cinderella are present."

You softly chuckled as you stood. Then you made your way to her cassette player where a cassette tape that you made and gave her last Christmas was already inserted inside. You smiled as you hit the play button.

Wanda's favorite song began playing. She had listened to that song on repeat for days now.

You walked towards where she was sitting then held out your hand.

"Can I have this dance, then?" you said with conviction.

"W-What?"

You smiled. "Would you do me the honors of being your first prom partner?"

It rendered Wanda speechless.

"C'mon, no evil stepsisters are invited in this room," you added.

She softly giggled as she finally got off the bed and took your hand.

It was the dance of her lifetime, nothing comparable to any prom there was in the world. You and Wanda danced and danced for what must have been an hour.

When a slow song came into the background, Wanda swore the tension thickening when she caught you staring at her lips and almost leaning closer towards her. She could even feel the wonderful warmth exuding from your body as you both pressed against each other.

Wanda swore that could have been her first kiss. But Pietro suddenly entered the room, complaining how the party ended so quick.

When you finally had the courage to ask Wanda out, she felt like she had grown wings and she could fly. It was as if you had finally heard her whispered prayers and opened your eyes to see her — the one who will willingly love you until her dying breath.

In a sea of people, you were the most gentleman and sweetest person she had ever known. You took her to see the movies. Then afterwards, you brought her to your backyard where a candle-lit dinner was prepared. You both watched the stars that night. And Wanda had a chance to see how huge the craters were on the moon through your telescope.

Wanda couldn't forget her first kiss with you.

It happened when you two were baking cookies for the school's charity event. She didn't even know she had chocolate left on the corner of her lips from having to taste test the first batch. All she could remember was how you nonchalantly wiped the thing off her mouth with your thumb after which you sucked it clean.

You let out a small moan, too soft she thought she was only imagining. You had no idea, of course. Completely unaware that two darkened eyes followed the tip of your thumb as you took it off your mouth. Not seeing how Wanda was biting her lower lip from said action, stopping herself from doing anything stupid. You were totally oblivious of the effect you had on her.

And Wanda couldn't control herself anymore as she pressed her lips on yours. It seemed as if time stopped as she pulled away and watched your surprised state. And when apology was already on the tip of her tongue, you pulled her back and kissed her. You kissed her the way she deserved to be kissed.

Wanda learned how soft your lips were that day. And how perfect yours and hers fit against each other as you made out all afternoon. How she learned that tongues had the most amazing muscle in the world.

For which she had concluded later on.

"Y/n/n," Wanda moaned one night with your head between her legs. It was when you and Wanda stayed in a hotel as you headed to visit the University you both were planning to attend. Pietro was just in the other room.

"Please don't stop, please don't stop..." Wanda held your head, grinding herself shamelessly against your face. You had no plan on stopping anyway after you made her come for the nth time that night. At least, Pietro's scoldings the following day about how he wasn't able to sleep well from all the noise were all worth it.

Years later and it was still Pietro's complaints when he and his family decided to spend the holidays with yours. To be completely honest, Wanda expected you and her would be alone when Pietro offered to take your twins to go sledding and not even five minutes after they had left the driveway, you and Wanda were shedding all of your clothes off in haste, hungry mouths drinking each other.

"Hey," Pietro called, snapping his fingers in front of Wanda. "I can see the drool all over your mouth."

Wanda blinked, her hand instinctively went to wipe what wasn't there. When she saw Pietro holding his laugh, her hand curled into a fist as she punched his arm.

"Ow! That hurt!"

"Well, you deserved it!"

Pietro complained as he massaged his arm, "Well, it's also not my fault you're ogling your eyes at our new neighbor."

"Ogling? I wasn't ogling—"

When Wanda attempted to go closer towards her brother, Pietro immediately ran out of her bedroom, screaming for help.

Wanda shut her bedroom door with a loud thud as her eyes went back outside her window. You were still standing, drenched in the rain, as you waited for your father to untie more boxes you'd be carrying inside.

She knew then from that moment on, you'd be important in her life. And she was going to make you hers one day, even when it would probably take her years.

[danikamariewrites]

heyyy, could I please request a Rhys X reader where the reader is feeling quite isolated, all her friends seem to have moved on in life without her and she's just realised how alone she feels. in her head the inner circle still feel like Rhys's friends, and she doesn't have a circle of her own and is just feeling down? and Rhys comforts her? don't mind me I'm goin' thru it lol sorry, thank you and much love to you

Isolated

Rhys x reader

A/n: I feel you anon. I go through this sometimes bc all my friends live far from me and I don’t have any in my hometown so it’s very isolating.

Warnings: hurt/comfort, slight depression

The weather seemed to match your mood today. Glum and rainy. You were sat on a couch in the town house with your knees pulled to your chest as you watched the rain roll down the window.

One of your best friends had moved over two months ago with her husband to the Winter Court to be closer to his family when their baby is born. You were happy for her, but she was the last of your friend group left in Velaris.

You were feeling lonely without them. It felt like they were all taking the next step in life with their careers or starting their family. Not that you didn’t love your life with Rhys. You’re the center of his universe and you can’t even describe how much you love him.

You just felt like you had nothing left to offer your court. But you didn’t want to move, your whole life is here. And you were working here and there with Rhys with court problems. There wasn’t much you could do until you were married and an official Lady.

And you definitely didn’t want a child. You weren’t there yet with Rhys or in the right headspace to be a mother. It would be unfair for everyone involved.

So you just sat around and read all day. Or walked around the city. Just shopping and seeing what was new. The cycle was getting old. If you went shopping in the Rainbow one more time you were going to throw yourself off the House of Wind.

Mor had tried to invite you out with her and offered to just hang out at home, but you declined almost every time. It felt like she was just offering out of pity. You didn’t want a pity hangout.

You love Mor, sometimes it feels like she, Amren, Cassian, and Azriel weren’t really your friends. You liked them and all but they came as a package deal with Rhys. Lately you felt like you weren’t part of that.

You broke yourself from your reeling thoughts as thunder sounded in the distance, lightning following moments after. You unwrap yourself to take a sip of tea sitting on the side table. Sipping on the liquid you grimace at the cold taste.

Letting out a sigh you set the mug back down. Unmotivated to get a new serving. You wrap your arms tighter around your knees going back to watching the storm.

Rhys padded down the stairs stopping when he noticed you curled into the corner of the couch. He gently approached you, laying a hand on your head, smoothing down your hair. “Hi darling.” His voice soft, “Are you alright?” Rhys knew you weren’t. He didn’t want to push or invade your mind without your permission. Rhys was getting close to doing that though. You were worrying him and you wouldn’t tell him what was weighing you down.

You sat there leaning into his touch for a while. You felt tears prick your eyes as you tried holding them back. You kept swelling back the lump growing in your throat as you tried to get a simple ‘I’m ok’ out.

The tears slip out of the corners of your eyes as you keep watching the storm rage. Rhys smells the salt of your tears. He panics and sits next to you, moving his hand from your head to cradle your cheek.

“Hey,” he coos, “y/n, what’s wrong darling? Please tell me. I’ve been so worried about you.” Your eyes slide over his worried face. Letting out a shaky breath you blink the tears out of your eyes. “I’m just sad Rhys. I know I have you, but I feel so alone.”

Rhys’s face dropped into a deep frown. He knew you missed your friends. Though he was unaware how much it affected you until now. “I want life to keep going, and I want to keep doing things. I’m just not in a good place.”

Rhys wiped your tears away and held his arms open for you. Leaning forward you embrace the love of your life, letting your tears fall. “I’m so sorry. I’m here to support you through whatever you want to do y/n. I want what will make you happy.” “Thank you, Rhys.” You sniffled out.

The two of you sat like that for the rest of the day. Rhys helped you come up with new things you could. Encouraging you to step out of your comfort zone and even take Mor up on a night out. He even made you laugh.

You felt like a weight had been lifted of your shoulders after talking to Rhys. You had hope that things would change soon.

[bluelocksource]

Itoshi Sae’s trivia (source: twt & Egoist Bible 1 & 2).

"I'll see with my own eyes what kind of FW (idiot) will be born in Japan." (EB1)

"Kick accuracy, skills, tactical awareness, and physical ability—all at a world-class level." (EB2)

☆ Weapons: Kick accuracy, skills, tactical awareness, and physical ability—all at world-class level.

☆ Character's colour: Adzuki bean color (reddish-brown).

☆ Nickname: ‘Japan’s Treasure’.

☆ Birthday: 10th October.

☆ Current age: 18 (3rd year of high school)

☆ Zodiac: Libra.

☆ Birthplace: Kamakura City, Kanagawa Prefecture.

☆ Family: Mother. Father. Himself. Younger brother.

☆ Current height: 180 cm.

☆ Foot size: 26.5 cm

☆ Dominant foot: Left foot.

☆ Blood type: A.

☆ Starts playing football: At age 1. “Before I knew it, I was playing soccer.”

☆ Team before returning to Japan: RE・ALE (レ・アール) Youth FC.

☆ Favorite food/drink: Salted kelp tea (shio-kombucha). “Because I can go back to 0.” (meaning he feels refreshed after drinking it)

☆ Disliked food: French fries. “It’s deadly delicious but it’s deadly to my health.”

☆ Favorite animal: Seagulls. “I like migratory birds that doesn’t stay in one place.”

☆ Favorite season: At the end of summer. "It seems that the world is starting to get lonesome."

☆ Favorite football player: Álvaro Recoba. “The left footer that casts a rainbow (perfect curve) on the pitch.” (Sae was referring to Alvaro quotes: “If today's game is on a rainy pitch, I'll draw a rainbow with my left foot.”. Álvaro is known for his curling-free-kick.)

☆ Favorite music: ‘Mercury’ by tofubeats ft. Seira Kariya. “I listen to this to cool down.”

☆ Favorite manga: Gegege no Kitaro.

☆ Favorite movie: Taxi Driver. “This De Niro is the coolest.”

☆ Favorite TV show: Chibi Maruko-chan. “It reminds me of home.”

☆ Favorite brand: “All of my sponsors. They know they're not crazy for betting on me, they have good eyes.”

☆ Hobby: Analysing data of football players and teams. “It’s easier to see the numbers in visualized data.”

☆ Mushroom shoots vs Bamboo shoots: “Depends on the mood.”

☆ What goes best with rice : Salted kelp (shio-kombu). “They don’t have it in Brazil, so I asked my parents back home to send some here.”

☆ What makes him happy: “A play beyond my imagination.”

☆ What makes him upset: Being forced to carry Japanese soccer on his back. “I’m talking about you guys.”

☆ What he thinks his strength is: He has flat ways looking at things. (meaning he look at things objectively) "People often calls me dry**, but who cares?"

☆ What he thinks his weakness is: The fact that he doesn’t know anything else other than soccer. “You guys shouldn’t live this way.”

☆ Favorite/Best subject: “I don’t know since I’ve only focus on soccer and didn’t pay attention in classes.”

☆ What made him cry recently: “Like I'd tell you, idiot.”

☆ Usual sleeping time: 8 hours (7 hours sleeping + 1 hour nap)

☆ Place he washes first when taking a bath: His bangs’ hairline.

☆ Fixation: Buttocks. “You’ll know an athlete's ability by the shape of their buttocks.”

☆ Number of chocolates received from previous Valentine: Around 2000. “That’s what my manager told me.”

☆ The first time he got confessed to: “I don’t remember which one was the first, octopus.” (here, octopus is just an insult like 'idiot' or 'fool', etc.)

☆ What will he do if received 100 million yen: “I’m not interested in such small amount of money.” “I don't care. It's just pocket change.”

☆ At what age he stops receiving presents from Santa: At age 10.

☆ What was his last wish from Santa: “My own talent that I have yet to discover.”

☆ How he spent his holiday: Gazing at the sea.

☆ What will he do during his last day on Earth: Give the world's best striker the world's best pass.

☆ Favorite historical figure: "Nicolaus Copernicus. A person who overturned the world's common sense."

☆ If he hadn't encountered soccer, what will he be doing: "Probably living a normal, happy life. My personality might not have been like this."

☆ If he could only take one thing to a deserted island, what would it be:  "Nothing. I’ll live freely without rules."

☆ If he had a time machine, would he go to the past or the future: "I’m not interested in either. I won’t have any unnecessary expectations or disappointments about my past or future. Live in the now. You guys are annoying."

Last updated: 31/10/2024

*Not sure about the exact pronounciation but the most of the translation says 'Les Halles'. Updated! (25/7/2024)

Spelling of Sae's team, レ・アール : Left image: RE・ALE. This was from months ago (twt).

Right image: RE・EARL. The left image is from the recent twt :

** In Japan, there are terms called ‘dry person’ & ‘wet person’. ‘Dry person’ is someone who can think rationally without being overwhelmed by emotions and because of their calm demeanor, they are thought to be cold and unapproachable. ‘Wet person’ is the opposite of ‘dry person’.

note: i want to apologize in advance for any mistake made in the translation!

[5five5five5five5five5five]

Five hated rain. it meant he couldn't go outside. he wasn't much of an outdoor kid to begin with but on days when he wanted to go play or hang out with the others and it was raining, he loathed it. Viktor loved rain. they rarely went outside and didn't much care for such things. they loved sitting by a window and listening to it well reading or playing the violin. it was a nice change of pace. days when it rained were days together. five complained about it and viktor listened. the soundtrack of their life. rain, a good book and their brother complaining about it....till it wasn't. five hated rain for 40 years. it meant cold. it meant getting wet with little shelter. it meant having to put a tarp on his wagon. it meant needing to shelter Delores and the shame he felt knowing that she would get wet regardless. viktor couldn't love rain anymore. what was the point of his five wasn't there to complain about it. rain just reminded him of loss. reminded him that the academy was even quieter then it ever was on rainy days. the rest stopped complaining about the rain at 13. they had better things to do. They didn't play outside anymore. as the years went by, their opinions nulled. Five got used to it. Viktor stopped caring. after a while. rain was rain.

then a lot of shit happened....and then the sky cleared. Viktor hates the rain. it makes him miss dates or home visits for his violin tutoring. for a family so themed around umbrellas, he can never find one fast enough before the "where are you??" texts start popping up. none of his jackets are warm enough. he gets cold easily. Five learned to love the rain. it meant his garden got water without needing to do it himself. it meant the grass grew longer and the plants were healthy. the earth was healing. it meant more coffee then normal. it meant warmer clothes, his favorite. it meant a fire in the fireplace. it meant Viktor usually came home in a bad mood. complaining, a Hargreeves's favorite pass time.

Five listens as his once closed off sibling ramble up a storm about his date canceling on him and then his classes needing to be rescheduled due to the bus delays. the streets were slippy so he fell on his ass into a puddle. today was the WORST. a warm towel, clean clothes, some coffee and a blanket later, everything was at peace. their song played, now remixed, the singer older and redone for a newer audience.......but it was almost better.

no more worry no more stress about Father Hargreeves

they could track mud and water in without a earful.

they could put mini marshmallows in their coffee if they wanted to.

they could have coffee in general!

living with your brother isn't perfect. They bicker and have spats like all the siblings do. Five has changed so much and the events of their journey here effected them both.... but when push comes to shove...and the sky is blue... there's always a rainbow.

(PROSHIPPERS DNI THIS ISN'T SHIP CONTENT YA SICKOS)

[dopescissorscashwagon]

We are family! Three Scots Pines on the shore of Loch Clare in Torridon, framed by a rainbow arching across Beinn Eighe behind. A moment of light on a rainy day is all you need.

Click on photo

📸 by @VerityMilligan

[gatheringbones]

[“I began to read deeply, pulling on the threads, getting more and more furious at a system that allowed people to leverage money directly into influence and power—to basically manipulate the population into making a decision. The more I read, the more radical I became. I found Howard Zinn’s A People’s History of the United States. I wanted more. I burrowed deeply into queer history, into protest. (I hid the books in my locker.) I read Stonewall: The Riots That Sparked the Gay Revolution, by David Carter; articles about Sylvia Rivera, Marsha P. Johnson; websites on the Compton’s Cafeteria uprising; Transgender History, by Susan Stryker. I watched The Times of Harvey Milk, Rob Epstein’s documentary about the life of the assassinated San Francisco supervisor, and the subsequent White Night uprisings following the acquittal of his confessed assassin. I learned the mantra “Queers, don’t be quiet, Stonewall was a riot.” There was all this history that no one had ever taught me, that didn’t fit neatly into the liberal-establishment version of gay rights.

Meanwhile, the financial crisis deepened. It gripped everyone I knew. I watched my family’s retirement accounts evaporate. The small mutual fund where I had deposited my twenty-thousand-dollar enlistment bonus—my literal investment in the system—plummeted in value. I was looking for explanations.

On a rainy afternoon, days after the election, I took a Trailways bus to Syracuse for my first-ever protest. (It’s legal for soldiers to attend protests out of uniform.) Join the Impact had planned events in four hundred cities that day, with an estimated million people in worldwide attendance. I’d read about the protest on Facebook and reached out to the local organizers—a lesbian student and an older gay man—to see what I could do to help. Even with the nasty weather, nearly two hundred people showed up at city hall—mostly younger queers, but a few older couples too. We had rainbow flags and posters that read no h8 and married with pride. I carried a sign that said, in rainbow lettering, equality @ the house, @ the workplace, @ the battlefield. Seeing other people feeling just as hurt as I did restored my sense of being recognized as fully human. But as I counted the crowd, I suddenly thought of the insurgency and counterinsurgency tactics I spent all day studying. Peaceful protest got the Iraqis nowhere. Our soldiers would more or less laugh at the Iraqis who tried civil disobedience. The people with the signs could just be mowed down; they were docile. It was the people who fought back, who refused to move, who even pushed the crowd out of the way as a way of taking a stand and showing political agency—those were the ones who concerned the military. As one major (who worked in operations, not intelligence) had succinctly explained at the base: “We don’t negotiate with protesters—but we sure as hell negotiate with mobs.”]

chelsea manning, from readme.txt

[hpdrizzle]

🌈 HP Drizzle 2023 Reveals🌧️

✨ The day has finally come! Reveals are happening right now! Hold onto your umbrellas and don't let the storm of applause for our talented creators blow you away! ☂️

HP Drizzle 2023 has some lovely numbers for you. We had:

⚡ 26 Fics ⚡ 6 Arts and Crafts ⚡ 1 Collab ⚡ And 1 Podfic

🌈 Which adds up to 34 lovely and mind blowing works!

A big thank you goes out to everyone who participated this year, and everyone who read, commented and sent kudos. A fest doesn't work without every single one of you.

Please enjoy the works below, and make them timeless classics as many Drizzle works before 💜

The mods of 2023 say thank you and good bye @crazybutgood @curlyy-hair-dont-care @ladderofyears @candybarrnerd @gnarf

🌈 HP Drizzle Art 🌧️ 

☔ Right Path In The Rain [T, Digital Art ] @burnedwithpointlesspurpose

💧 Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Ginny Weasley 💧 Weather: Rainy  ☔ Summary: Draco's been working hard on keeping things on the right path. It's been years since the war and he's fought to find himself through it. Part of the disovery being he has absolutely no problem sharing his umbrella with one Ginevra Weasley, and everything that comes with it.

☔ What to do When it's Sunny Outside [G, Digital Art] @shiaya21

💧 Pairing: Draco Malfoy / Theodore Nott 💧 Weather: Sunny ☔ Summary: Theo and Draco has a very different idea on what to do when it's sunny outside. Digital Comic.

☔ [ART] summer slipped us underneath her tongue [T, Digital Art] @getawayfox

💧 Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter 💧 Weather: Sunny ☔ Summary: It’s a tropical paradise until Harry forgets the sun cream. Draco is not impressed.

☔ Forgotten @acydpop

💧 Pairing: Harry Potter/Severus Snape 💧 General Audience, Traditional Art: watercolors, inks, acrylic, and colored pencils on 7.75" x 9.95" mixed media paper. 💧 Weather: Sunny ☔ Summary: Before, I used to be your whole world, now, I’m nothing more than a stranger in your eyes. Why have you forgotten me and not anybody else?

☔ Dark [G, Digital art] @smr7k4

💧 Pairing: Scorpius Malfoy 💧  Weather: Cloudy ☔ Summary: They've always been able to look up and see the constellations that bore their family's names moving in constant patterns across the sky, but tonight, there are clouds. That's definitely a metaphor for something.

☔ Things we don’t mean (we say it outright) [Not Rated, Digital Art] @legendrarry

💧 Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter 💧 Weather: Sunny, Rainy, Stormy ☔ Summary: While on a stakeout, an accident causes Draco's mood to connect with the weather, which then leads to mild panic infused rain, anger fueled thunderstorms, white lies and blooming flowers, and heated words clashing against rainbows that gives fourth to all that Draco Malfoy is, and all that he hides behind his facades. Harry's a whole lot endeared by it, and just a little bit in love as well.

🌈 HP Drizzle Fic and Art🌧️

☔ Thunderstruck [E, 8653, Digital ] @andithiel @fictional

💧 Pairing: Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy  💧 Weather: Stormy  ☔ Summary: Professional Quidditch players Malfoy and Potter have been at each other’s throats since they became teammates. When things get ugly during a thunderstorm, their captain is so fed up she’s ready to kick them off the team if they don’t solve their differences, by any means possible.  There’s really only one way this can end, right?

🌈 HP Drizzle Fic 🌧️ 

☔ You are here [G, 1092] @evadne01

💧 Pairing: Ginny Weasley & Percy Weasley  💧 Weather: Stormy ☔ Summary: Percy was on his evening patrol when he heard someone crying.

☔ Rainfall Reverie, or Toad, the Wet, and a Locket [T, 5379] @astridastrolabe

💧 Pairing: Oliver Wood/Ron Weasley 💧 Weather: Rainy ☔ Summary: When a rain inconsistently causing amnesia settles over Aberdeen, Oliver Wood finds his cozy life with his partner, Ron Weasley, turned inside-out. A story of trust, of discovery, and being loved for who you are.

☔ Here Comes The Sun [G, 1905] @miss-grimwood

💧 Pairing: Narcissa Black Malfoy/Lucius Malfoy 💧 Weather: Sunny ☔ Summary: Narcissa Black was a ray of sunshine. Then she grew up, and became cold and withdrawn. She never expected Lucius Malfoy to melt the ice.

☔ A Summer's Day [T, 1,817] @midnightstargazer

💧 Pairing: Andromeda Black Tonks/Ted Tonks 💧 Weather: Sunny ☔ Summary: A love story that begins on an artificial summer's day in January and ends with a tearful farewell beneath the unforgiving August sun.

☔ In Their Winter Den [T, 2,899] @sandervansunshine

💧 Pairing: Theodore Nott/Blaise Zabini 💧 Weather: Snowy ☔ Summary: Theo aimed his wand at the wall and gathered more lights around the twinkling little bear. “Do you want a story or a song?” “Surprise me.”

☔ Snowflakes [E, 21,097] @orange-peony

💧 Pairing:  Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, Regulus Black/James Potter 💧 Weather: Rainy ☔ Summary: The first time Sirius meets Remus, it’s in the wrong place at the wrong time. The second time they meet, it’s two weeks later. Two weeks that Sirius has spent thinking about green eyes and elbow patches and that charming smile that he wishes he had captured on camera, because he’s starting to forget it and it’s killing him.

☔ Hooligans [T, 3082] @patriceavril

💧 Pairing: Molly Weasley & Gideon Prewett & Fabian Prewett, Molly Weasley & Weasley family 💧 Weather: Snowy ☔ Summary: Molly plays in the snow with her children and remembers her brothers.

☔ Letters In the Rain [G, 3274] @theblinddreamer215

💧 Pairing: Harry Potter/Severus Snape 💧 Weather: Rainy ☔ Summary: Harry Potter’s always hated the rain, though perhaps certain events make him change his mind.

☔ Unbuttoned [E, 2402] @ashiiblack

💧 Pairing: Harry Potter/Severus Snape 💧 Weather: Rainy ☔ Summary: Due to the change in weather, Snape starts leaving a few top buttons on his robe undone. It drives Harry crazy.

☔ Weathering Malfoy [T, 6,806] @drarrymyheart

💧 Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter 💧 Weather: Rainy, Stormy ☔ Summary: The war is over and all Harry wants is a normal year at Hogwarts. But he hadn’t counted on hanging out with Draco Malfoy and liking it. Not to mention Malfoy’s bizarre obsession with the weather. Or is there something else behind Malfoy’s odd behaviour?

☔ Scream If You Wanna Go Faster [E, 21,458] @lagerloutfic

💧 Pairing: Scorpius Malfoy/James Sirius Potter 💧 Weather: Sunny, Stormy ☔ Summary: James leaned forward to blow out the candles and for a brief moment their eyes met. Scorpius felt it like an arrow to his chest. His breath hitched as people cheered and the smoke from the candles climbed to the ceiling. “You’re going to ruin him.” Albus said, nipping at Scorpius’s shoulder. Scorpius sighed, “It would be fun to try.” Scorpius and Albus are determined to have one last hurrah before their summer ends. Featuring, ratbag twinks, progressive parenting with Harry Potter, the homoeroticism of sportwear, the dance floor as a love language and birds.

☔ A Work Trip to Spain [E, 1443] vitruvian8008

💧 Pairing: Victoire Weasley/Blaise Zabini 💧 Weather: Rainy, Stormy ☔ Summary: Victoire Weasley had been looking forward to lounging on the beach during her work trip to Spain. When a thunderstorm strikes, she ends up at the bar spending the evening with Blaise Zabini. Little did she know how it would progress.

☔ Worth It [M, 1392] @goddess47

💧 Pairing: Harry Potter/Severus Snape 💧 Weather: Snowy ☔ Summary: Winter was hard. Harder than he ever expected. He was used to being alone. He never expected to be lonely.

☔ Weak In The Eyes [E, 7724] @burdenedwithpointlesspurpose

💧 Pairing: Ron Weasley/Harry potter 💧 Weather: Rainy, Stormy ☔ Summary: Setting out for a night on the town, Harry was happy regardless of the possible hang ups which included torture and weather. He wanted to spend some time with his boyfriend that wasn’t just hanging out at home like the mates at heart they are. It’d been a while since they’d done something special, work dragging Ron down into a low state of mind. Thankfully, it does turn out special. Whether that’s in a good or bad way, he supposes is left up to interpretation and mood.

☔ Blame It on the Heat [E, 1500] @maraudersaffair

💧 Pairing: Scorpius Malfoy/Harry Potter 💧 Weather: Sunny ☔ Summary: Scorpius can't handle the heat. He also can't handle seeing Harry Potter parading about without a shirt.

☔ Try, Try Again [E, 5353] @hey-flynn

💧 Pairing: Harry Potter/Hugo Weasley  💧 Weather: Stormy  ☔ Summary: Hugo confesses his love to Harry twice, on very similar nights. The results, however, were incredibly different.

☔ With This Ring [E, 13370] @nightfalltwen

💧 Pairing: Sirius Black/Nymphadora Tonks 💧 Weather: Rainy ☔ Summary: A lineage spell on 12 Grimmauld requires one thing. To continue the line of the house of Black. That needs to start with a marriage to make the line legitimate.

☔ Post-war roses [T, 3.500] fast_brother

💧 Pairing: Draco Malfoy/ Harry Potter 💧 Weather: Stormy, Rainy ☔ Summary: Draco is going to Azkaban tomorrow.

☔ Fall on the Earth [Explicit, 13,622 ] @dodgerkedavra

💧 Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter 💧 Weather: Stormy ☔ Summary: Harry Potter hates being separated from Draco Malfoy. Not because he's in love with him, for Merlin's sake! Because they're Auror Partners. One time is all it takes for Draco to be attacked with an illicit potion. Until it wears off, Harry's job is taking care of his partner. Harry thinks the effects of the potion can't possibly be as serious as Robards says. He thinks wrong.

☔ The Doe Between Us [G, 11468] @shewhomustnotbenamed

💧 Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter  💧 Weather: Rainy, Snowy  ☔ Summary: Draco's teaching career is taking off alongside his friendship with Harry Potter. The rain that had endured all of summer time turns to snow as the winter solstice comes nearer, and the two of them spend a few chilly nights in the Forbidden Forest.

☔ Right as Rain [E, 12674] @maybebabyplease

💧 Pairing: Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy 💧 Weather: Rainy, Stormy ☔ Summary: For Harry Potter, post-war life is boring, lonely, and insomnia-inducing. When Professor Trelawney makes another prophecy, this time about his love life, Harry dreads going out in the rain for fear of running into his soulmate. He'll weather the storm, though, every time he can find a good reason to visit Draco Malfoy at the potions shop where he works. Malfoy's practically always in that potions shop, safe from the rainy English weather. Will they ever run into each other outside, exposed to the elements? Maybe even...in a rainstorm?

☔ Down to the Wood [G, 3079] @nanneramma

💧 Pairing: Severus Snape & Luna Lovegood  💧 Weather: Foggy  ☔ Summary: There is something about the early morning light that is good for revelations: Severus and Luna might have more in common than he'd thought.

☔ Hermione Granger and the Year of Events [T, 2268] @caiti-creative-corner

💧 Pairing: Hermione Granger/Theodore Nott  💧 Weather: Sunny, Rainy, Windy, Snowy  ☔ Summary: Hermione is getting ready for her wedding and she's having it at Hogwarts after watching her friends deal with the unpredictable weather.

☔ Take This Heart (And Make It Whole Again) [T, 12,974] @mugsdontlie

💧 Pairing: Dudley Dursley/Gregory Goyle  💧 Weather: Snowy  ☔ Summary: A few years have passed since the Battle of Hogwarts, and Gregory Goyle has been trying to be a better person every single day ever since.  When he’s forced to take a holiday trip north to prevent burnout, he meets a mysterious stranger who helps him open up and let some happiness into his heart again.  Or: two former bullies being snowed in together

☔ Who we are when no one is watching [T, 15216] @uncannycerulean

💧 Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter  💧 Weather: Rainy  ☔ Summary:  Draco Malfoy has a good Ministry job, a bad reputation, and an even worse office. The latter is much improved when he stumbles upon a magical window. But much more than just giving him an office with a view, the window forces Draco to confront his own life choices and step out of his comfort zone.

☔ May All Your Christmases Be White [T, 16725] @slyth-princess

💧 Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter  💧 Weather: Snowy  ☔ Summary: It is impossible for Draco to deny the inherent festivity that Christmas brings. From Yuletide carols to fairylights, evergreens festooned with baubles in a rainbow of colors to pub nights with friends wrapped in their warmest coats. There is a level of hope that the season always seems to bring, even when life is at it's darkest. All around him are the things making the spirit of the season. People are happy.  At least, that's what he assumes. At this point, he doesn't know. For him, the holidays have not always proved to be a merry season.  What Draco does know, without any doubt, is there is one thing Christmas always needs to feel like the holiday has truly arrived. And that one thing is snow. Although, over time, he realises there is one other thing that he has begun to associate with Christmas, something he needs for the holiday to feel real. Harry Potter.

🌈 HP Drizzle Podfic 🌧️

☔ Only Happy When It Rains by Pineau_noir - a Podfic [T, 1:29:25] @cailynwrites

💧 Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter 💧 Weather: Rainy ☔ Summary: Weather-Be's, the up-and coming business of Draco Malfoy, guarantees* perfect weather for your event! If you need warm sunshine, Weather-Be's will provide it. If you want atmospheric fog, we can make that happen. We have a 100%** success rate at giving you the weather you want. *guarantee invalid if Harry Potter is in attendance **success rate drops to 97% when Harry Potter's attendance at events is counted

[electricalstemplates]

Template Masterlist pt 3

Alter templates

Short

Smiles family/Roblox theme

Uzi and Khan theme

Food theme

Misc themes

Youtuber theme

Phineas and Ferb theme

Punk/Pink romance theme

Avatar: The Last Airbender theme

Leadership/fallen angel theme

Atsushi Nakajima theme

Will Solace theme

Greek mythos theme

Music theme

Cat theme

Gentle flower theme

Medium

Science theme

Cloud/sky theme

Goddess/Fallen angel theme

Spamton theme

Nikolai Gogol theme

Purple music theme

Cottagecore theme

Nature theme

Insect/flower theme

Demon Hipster Chicks (Scott Pilgrim) theme

Cowboy theme

School Bus Graveyard theme

Night/ocean theme

Gothic/dark theme

Paranormal/Ghost hunter theme

Kaveh theme

Cute/pink theme

Metalocalypse/The Magnus Archives theme

Dark Academia/star theme

Darkside by Bring Me the Horizon theme

Music theme

Vocaloid theme

Clown/circus theme

Weirdcore theme

Dark angelic theme

No theme

Rainbow theme

Long

Dayshift at Freddy's/Lovecore theme

Plant/literature theme

Todd Ingram theme

Genloss theme

Cryptid/Mothman theme

Blue, bats, and music theme

Daugther of Evil theme

Romantic theme

Huggy Wuggy/Poppy Playtime theme

Takt Op. Destiny theme

Lynette Guycott theme

Bo Burnham theme

Shadowclan/1800s theme

Flower garden theme

Chaos/frog theme

JD theme

Playing card theme

Sundrop and Moondrop theme

Pidge Holt theme

Purple cross theme

Dessert/cookie theme

Draco Malfoy theme

System templates

Short

Pink/cutesy theme

Gothic theme

Medium

Cloud/sky theme

Gothic theme

Purple music theme

Insect/flower theme

Autism party theme

Scene alien theme

Gothic/dark theme

Backrooms theme

Weirdcore/cottagecore theme

Pink/cute theme

Snail theme

Vocaloid theme

Forest/fantasy theme

Rainy/coffee theme

Long

Cult Family/Roblox theme

Void & oranges theme

Creepy/cute theme

Goblincore theme

Flower garden theme

Wolf/Blood moon theme

About mes

Splatoon theme

Kazuha theme

PK Groups

School Bus Graveyard theme

Display names and Pronouns

Todd Ingram theme

Musical theme

Lynette Guycott theme

No theme

Flower garden theme

Heaven Official's Blessing theme

Hannibal theme

Cross theme

Pink emo/scene theme

Sys tags

Lemon theme

Singletsona/Tumblr intro

Long crazy pastel theme

[anatee]

Amor Caecus | Ominis Gaunt x OC | Part 1

Amor Caecus | Ominis Gaunt x OC. Part 1.

Word count: 2.7K

Description: Ominis and Riana never really cared for each other until they bonded over their studies. It was then that Gaunt discovered that no one described the world as beautifully as that wise, herbarium-making Ravenclaw who had fired up his imagination. Ominis simply loved those descriptions.

Maybe not just descriptions.

The rustle of pages being turned.

It was one of Ominis Gaunt's favorite sounds. His sensitive hearing sometimes irritated him, letting in noises that gave him a headache, but this situation also had its advantages. He could hear the pleasant sounds better, and he had a whole list of them. Lately, the pleasant rustle of paper that accompanied reading had taken the top place - partly because it was satisfying and calming, but mainly because of who he associated it with.

It was Riana Innes who sat next to him and provided him with this pleasant sound every time they studied together.

It all started completely by accident, a few months earlier, when a resigned Ominis went to the library to prepare for a test. He usually didn't do it alone; although he had mastered many helpful spells, the fact that he couldn't see made it easier for him to absorb knowledge with someone's help. Although Sebastian was his best friend, he wasn't the best study partner. Even if intelligent, Sallow had - according to Ominis - sometimes a too easygoing approach to studying, which is why Gaunt stopped trusting him in this aspect. It always got dangerous when Ominis heard a dozen or so pages being shuffled, and then Sebastian saying that he "only skips what definitely won't be on the test".

The upcoming Charms test was too important to risk Sebastian skipping the material. And so Ominis ended up in the library, where he didn't feel the best, especially by himself - he might have had some peace there, but he didn't like being around other students too much if it wasn't necessary.

The name "Gaunt" didn't exactly bring flowers, rainbows and warmth to mind, but rather a ruthless family of pure-blood heirs of Salazar Slytherin. There were various rumors circling about Ominis; some students were even afraid of him, especially because he walked everywhere with his wand held out in front of him, which could guide him. In addition, the fact that he was a Parselmouth did not gain him any fans at all, on the contrary, it created more and more, sometimes terrifying rumors.

On the one hand, Ominis did not mind that some students were afraid of him. He had his peace and usually was not forced into interactions that he did not like. On the other hand, he was sometimes depressed by the fact that he was often associated only with the evil of his family, which he really did not want to have anything to do with.

Some students had no idea what to think of Ominis, and Riana was one of them. Although they had been classmates for six years, she probably exchanged a few words with him at most when they had to work together in Herbology. From what she knew from rumors, he scared her a little, but from experience she could not call him someone dangerous. He probably behaved the most decently of all the boys in the year, but she guessed that it was due to his noble background. But who knew what he was really like?

Unlike Ominis, Riana appeared in the library very often, thanks to which she was perfectly aware of where the books on a given topic were. That is why on that rainy March day she confidently walked towards the shelves where her required books were located. However, she stopped dead in her tracks when she noticed Ominis, whom she had never met there before, slouched over a book. If it had been anyone else, she would have had no problem. She would have gone over, taken her book and left. However, since Gaunt could not see her, she was not sure how to behave. She thought that maybe she should announce herself to him somehow, so that he would know that no one was trying to make an attempt on his life - which was quite likely at Hogwarts. Or maybe it was an idiotic idea, because he could sense it? Maybe even then, when she was still keeping a safe distance of a few meters, his wand had let him know that a confused Ravenclaw was standing and staring at him as if she were about to clash with Salazar Slytherin himself? After all, it wasn't so far from the truth...

Riana decided to stop torturing herself with wild ideas and simply go for what she needed, although not without stress. When she approached the shelf, and therefore Ominis, she noticed that he didn't even raise his head. Apparently, he didn't realise in any way that he wasn't alone, so the girl decided to speak up anyway.

"Sorry," she wanted to add "Ominis", but even knowing his name, she had the impression that it would be strange to address him directly. "I'll stand next to you for a moment. I don't want to scare you."

Ominis raised his head and turned it towards her voice, not really knowing what was happening. That voice was familiar, and yet he couldn't place it on anyone...

"Uh... Thanks?" he finally spoke, and Riana could see from his expression that he was at the very least confused.

"You probably don't recognise me," she said quickly. "Riana. From Ravenclaw."

She hoped that he would recognise her by her name alone. After all, they had been in the same year for six years, right? He probably knew her by name...?

"Ah... Yes."

It dawned on Ominis. Riana Innes. She was indeed in his year, but he didn't know her very well. Either way, it was nice of her to introduce herself.

Riana began to browse the books on the shelf, but after a moment, out of pure curiosity, she glanced at the volume lying in front of Ominis - and realised that it was the book she needed as well.

"Oh, you have the book I'm looking for," she said immediately. "Are you studying for Charms?"

"Yes, I am," he replied, a bit confused, because he didn't expect the girl to talk to him again.

Riana hesitated. So far, he hadn't eaten her. Nor had he threatened to curse her and her future offspring. Nor did he send a venomous snake after her...

Merlin, her imagination was probably a bit too wild sometimes.

"Do you mind if I sit down next to you?" she asked, and only then did the nerves of asking a boy she barely knew about this hit her. "You know, actually... It's the same test, so we could use this book together... I mean, if you want. If not, I'll wait for my turn."

"No," Ominis blurted out. "I mean, you can sit down, yes."

Riana was actually glad that he couldn't see her face and sighed with relief. Despite everything, she was still a little afraid of his reaction, carefully taking a seat next to him.

"I'll sit quietly, I promise."

"You don't have to," he said surprisingly firmly, and before she could ask for details, he added, "We can use this book together."

Ominis was cursing himself for leaving Sebastian behind. He might have been a bit of a hothead, but studying with him didn't expose him to the kind of situations he found himself in now. He had nothing against Riana, he barely knew her anyway, which made it a bit awkward.

Riana nodded, then reminded herself that Ominis couldn't see her. She slapped herself on the forehead, then looked at the book and realized that... He couldn't see the text either. It was only at that moment, for the first time in so many years, that she began to wonder how he studied at all. Did someone just read everything to him? But if so, why was he there alone...? Ravenclaw curiosity wouldn't let her stay silent.

"Actually... Could I ask... How do you study...?" she asked, trying to sound as polite as possible. She didn't want to offend Ominis in any way, she was just genuinely curious how he had managed to study for so many years, especially since she couldn't imagine life without books.

"With my wand," he explained. "When I point it at a text, I can hear it in my head. But sometimes it's hard to find the right information and I don't know if I'm missing something."

"Then maybe I could help you?" she blurted out, and only after a moment did embarrassment take hold of her again. "If you want. I'm not pressuring you. But, well... I have to learn this too, so..."

Ominis hesitated, although he was pleasantly surprised. The girl seemed to have no prejudice, not because of his house, his last name, or even because he couldn't see. Besides, she was a Ravenclaw, and from his experience, every average Ravenclaw cared about studying ten times more than Sebastian - by definition. In spite of the fact that at that moment he wasn't sure if it was a good decision, he was able to admit to himself that it would be easier for him with someone's help.

"We can try."

Since that meeting, such studying sessions had become something they together did very often. Ominis stopped being afraid of studying outside the comfort of the common room, and he also learned that Riana really cared about her grades just as much, if not more, than he did. They didn't study together for absolutely every test, and they didn't have all their subjects together, but when it came to important tests, they always met in the library.

Then the sixth year ended, and the holidays came, but Ominis hadn't forgotten about that lovely and incredibly intelligent Ravenclaw, who had much more patience than Sebastian. He had hoped that in the seventh year they would be able to return to studying together, and so it happened.

It was only the end of September, and they were studying for their first test - Potions, in which Ominis wasn't an eagle, unlike Riana. He wondered where she got her saintly patience for him from, and sometimes she explained things to him multiple times.

What he liked most about her was the way she told stories. He felt like he had never met someone with such a vivid imagination. No wonder she was a Ravenclaw... Even though Ominis had never seen anything, her stories and descriptions were so vivid that he could imagine things that had never crossed his mind before. But he did not dare to ask her to describe anything beyond their studying... Until that day.

The rustle of paper beloved by Ominis was replaced by the dull sound of a heavy cover hitting hundreds of pages.

"I think that's enough for today," said Riana.

He liked her voice too - it was very girlish. She liked to talk fast and asked a lot of questions, he could even hear the subtle changes in her tone when she caught herself thinking that she should slow down. But Ominis didn't really mind her fast blabbering.

"I think so too," he admitted. "This material isn't really as difficult as I thought."

"It's not difficult, but you know how Sharp is." Riana sighed. "Oh well. It's so beautiful outside now that I think I'll go for a walk."

Ominis hesitated. He didn't want to end this meeting yet; their conversations were usually limited to school, but he wanted to finally get to know her better, not just in those single sentences they sometimes exchanged between studying. It could be risky, but then again, Riana studied with him for a reason, right?

"Can I come with you?"

Riana was glad he couldn't see the shock on her face. He was really asking if he could join her. She wasn't surprised only because she had secretly hoped that they would finally talk outside of studying, but also because Ominis still kind of... scared her. Maybe she wasn't afraid that he would curse her and she knew he was well-mannered, but somewhere in the back of her mind she had the reputation of the Gaunts. She wondered how he really behaved, beyond the typical pleasantries. If that wasn't enough, as a Ravenclaw, inflamed with curiosity, she wanted to bombard him with questions about his sight (or lack thereof), his ability to talk to snakes, his family... Ominis Gaunt simply fascinated her, so the decision was very easy.

"Sure. We could s..." She bit her tongue before saying that they could see autumn leaves. "I mean, let's go. The sun is still shining, it's not that cold..."

Ominis nodded, then sent the books back to the shelf with a spell. Then he held his wand out in front of him so that it would guide him, glowing red as it did so.

The sight seemed a bit sinister to Riana, even if she knew that he had no intention of harming her. She remembered how, especially at the beginning of school, the sight of his face bathed in that red light when he walked through the dark corridors of the castle, used to scare her. Of course, she was used to it now, but it still left a bit of a strange impression on her. It was probably because of the red... However, she dismissed those thoughts and walked with him to the exit of the library.

"You know, I'm fascinated by how your wand guides you," she finally said as they began to approach the castle exit. "It seems like it has a mind of its own."

Ominis laughed shortly, to her surprise.

"Yeah, it's kind of like that. I have a really strong bond with it. It makes life a lot easier for me."

Riana pushed open the massive doors, finally stepping out onto the grounds. Her lungs were immediately filled with the crisp, autumn air, which made her smile. The warmth of the afternoon sun still enveloped her cheeks, making the atmosphere perfect for a walk.

"It would be a fascinating area of ​​study of wandmaking," she continued. "I don't know much about it, but I've never seen anything like your wand."

Ominis nodded, walking forward without hesitation.

"I'm actually curious about how it works myself."

There was a moment of silence, but Ominis could feel Riana still walking beside him. She was marveling at the weather and the views, but at the same time she was gathering her courage for the question she had long wanted to ask him. She could feel her curiosity about bursting her insides.

"Ominis, can I ask you a slightly... personal question? You don't have to answer," she finally uttered, not knowing what to expect from him.

"Yes?" Gaunt replied, his voice a little higher than usual. He hoped Riana wouldn't ask about his family. He was ready to answer many questions, but he didn't feel like going into unpleasant details at that moment, especially when he felt so good, when the warmth of the sun pleasantly hugged his face...

"How much... Can't you see?" she finally asled, feeling her nerves gnawing away at her. "I mean... I know that some people can't see at all, and some have some sight and... I'm sorry, I don't know how to put it best. And I don't want to offend you."

Ominis was a little surprised by the question. Few people were so sincerely interested in the feelings associated with his disability, and the fact that Riana seemed sincerely eager to learn about them...

"It's okay." He smiled gently. "I can generally tell if there's an object in front of me or not, but I don't know the shapes or colours. I can't even see the outlines. Just... Certain changes in the light? It's a bit hard to describe."

"Oh, I see..." she replied, trying not to sound too depressing, even if her heart broke a little. She couldn't imagine living without colour, without that wonderful view that surrounded her, the colourful leaves, the big pumpkins, the bright sky...

"But the wand mainly tells me where to go, so that I don't bump into anything. It also warns me about thresholds and stairs," he said, not wanting her to think that he was feeling sorry for himself. "I may not see colours or shapes, but at least I don't fall over."

"So maybe you'd like me to... Tell you about them?"

[aquagirl1978]

Happy May to everyone! @violettduchess and I would like to thank each and every one of you who participated in this event, whether it was as a writer or a reader. We loved reading all of your entries and hope you enjoyed this event as much as we did!

Day 1 - picnics

Read to Me | Chevalier Michel | by @aquagirl1978

Making It Up To You | Leon Dompteur | by @leonscape

Family Outing | Vincent van Gogh | by @fang-and-feather

Family Picnic | Vincent van Gogh | by @not-krys

Chemtrails Over Our Secret Spot | Napoleon Bonaparte | by @xxsycamore

Making Moments into Memories | Leon Dompteur | by @myonlyjknight

Day 2 - rainbows

April Showers Bring May Flowers | Yves Kloss | by @myonlyjknight

Muddy Revenge | Leon Dompteur | by @leonscape

Headcanons | Isaac Newton | by @violettduchess

Day 3 - baby animals

Parenting Practice | Leon Dompteur | by @leonscape

Snapshots of Spring | Leon Dompteur | by @violettduchess

Day 4 - gardens

In Apple Blossom Time | Yves Kloss | by @xxsycamore

Butterflies | Theodorus van Gogh | by @pieground

Magic | Leon Dompteur | by @chirp-a-chirp

Day 5 - new beginnings

A Walk in the Park | Theodorus van Gogh | by @aquagirl1978

Happy Birthday Irene | Leon Dompteur | by @leonscape

New Beginnings | Luke Randolph | by @randonauticrap

Day 6 - green grass

Reliving Fond Memories | Licht Klein | by @myonlyjknight

Headcanons | Johann Georg Faust | by @violettduchess

Day 7 - flower crowns

Bloom | Napoleon Bonaparte | by @fang-and-feather

A Pair of Crowns | Nokto Klein | by @nightfoxqueen

Flower Crowns | Chevalier Michel | by @ivaliny-blog

Snapshots of Spring | Chevalier Michel | by @violettduchess

The Stars at Night | Keith Howell | by @aquagirl1978

Day 8 - rainy days

Dance With Me | Clavis Lelouch | by @sky-drgn

Dreams and Memories Fade Away | Gilbert von Obsidian | by @aquagirl1978

Snapshots of Spring | Cyran Rose | by @violettduchess

Shower of Love | Leonardo da Vinci | by @fang-and-feather

Heavy Is The Head That Wears The Crown | Gilbert von Obsidian | by @wordycheeseblob

Rain, Rain, Go Away | Clavis Lelouch | by @aquagirl1978

Love from the Other Side | Clavis Lelouch | by @claviscollections

When It Rains, I'll Distract You | Clavis Lelouch | by @myonlyjknight

Snapshots of Spring | Silvio Ricci | by @violettduchess

Spring Showers and Their Budding Consequences | Blanc Lapin | by @xxsycamore

Rainy Days | Sariel Noir | by @ikevampoliver

Day 9 - cottagecore

Tranquility | Jin Grandet | by @randonauticrap

The Tale of the Bear and the Princess - Taste of Love | Luke Randolph | by @queengiuliettafirstlady

The Tale of the Bear and the Princess - Home Sweet Home | Luke Randolph | by @queengiuliettafirstlady

Day 10 - spring fling

The First Night of the Trade Fair | Nokto Klein | by @myonlyjknight

Try Again | Jin Grandet | by @leonscape

Headcanons | Arthur Conan Doyle | by @violettduchess

Day 11 - fairy forest

Happily Ever After | Chevalier Michel | by @aquagirl1978

Easter Madness | All Rhodolite Princes | by @myonlyjknight

Headcanons | Vlad | by @violettduchess

Day 12 - walk in the park

Headcanons | Comte de Saint-Germain | by @violettduchess

Day 13 - cherry blossoms

To Make You Happy | Rio Ortiz | by @myonlyjknight

The Letter | Sariel Noir | by @aquagirl1978

Day 14 - birds chirping

Of Conflict and Compromise | Leon Dompteur & Chevalier Michel | by @scorchieart

Wake Up, Sleepyhead | Leon Dompteur | by @leonscape

[milkgemini]

Diamond

Pairing: Jake Kiszka X f!reader

Word count: 2.7k

Warnings: smut! 18+ minors DNI. language, fingering (f receiving), unprotected sex, the smallest amount of spit play. A/N: collab with my beautiful @babyhoneygvf thank you for your beautiful words, you made this great. Listen

He was the music. Every beat and every strum was made for him. His taste was unmatched, his knowledge unbounded. It was as if he was put on this earth to create. He was an artist. 

Your life partner was an artist. 

You watched him grow into an influential rockstar. His face on the cover of magazines, fellow guitarists commenting on his talent. To you, he was the boy you had fallen in love with at 16. The one who talked your ear off about different riffs and solo placements. You had never realized the utter importance of music until him. 

One of your favorite past times was to sit on the floor of his bedroom in his apartment, and listen as he described in intricate detail the process that went into the music playing on his record player at the moment. He had an entire bookcase of vinyls, ranging from the creation of blues music to psychedelic rock. 

There was only one thing closer to his heart than the music. 

You. 

Although his love for music was strong, it ran through his veins, you were the beating of his heart. The reason he pushed to succeed. The person whose reaction he anticipated the most. Through every strum of his guitar, every riff, he carried you with him. He knew you were always there, supporting him in the audience. 

It was a rainy Sunday afternoon. You watched as his fingers plucked through the albums at the record store. His eyes laser focused on the covers. There wasn’t much in the store he didn’t already own. Most of the time his intention wasn’t to purchase something new, but to be surrounded in an environment of his version of art. 

Your taste in music had obviously expanded being with Jake. He influenced you without judgment. He knew you could appreciate hits on the radio from time to time, but he couldn’t deny he loved when you delved into the classics. 

You mirrored his position in the opposing aisle, also flicking through the albums. What caught your eye were the ones that had a unique cover. The “pretty ones”, as you would say. One in particular grabbed your attention. A deep black background with the contrast of a vibrant rainbow. You picked up the album, slipping it from the others it was in between. 

“Ouu what about this one, Jake?” 

He lifted his eyes to your attention, the album facing him over the aisle. He scanned you with a wide grin forming on his face. 

“You’re holding one of the most influential rock groups of all time, you know that?” He informed you. 

“That’s Pink Floyd. You should get it.” He nudged you on. 

He rounded the corner and approached your side. 

“Here. Let’s check out, and go back home. I have something for you.” He plucked the album from between your fingertips and led the way to the cashier up front. 

He placed the album in front of the employee behind the counter as he reached in his back pocket for his wallet, opening it and pulling some cash out. 

“Hey man, how are you?” He greeted the cashier. 

“Great choice. That’ll be $32 today” said the man at the register, who happened to be the owner of the family owned record store. 

Jake placed two twenties on the counter as he reached for the bag that contained the record inside. 

“Keep it. Have a good one” he gave the man a tight grin, and grasped your hand leading you out the doors, heading towards his car. 

As you entered his apartment, you wiggled your jacket off of your arms and placed it on the hook. Jake went straight to his room, and you could hear him going through his things from down the hall. He called for you, and you made your way towards him. 

You entered the room to find him sliding an album out from the bookshelf filled with vinyls. The cover had a white background, a picture of two men in suits shaking hands in the middle. You studied the cover. One of the men on the cover had flames coming from his body. Your eyebrows rose at the sight. 

“Same group. The Wish You Were Here album from the year 1975” 

He held the record between his fingertips and flipped it in his hand, looking over the front and back. 

“Wanna show you something.” 

His back is to you as he delicately places the black vinyl on the turntable. Picking up the needle and carefully placing it back down against it. 

The album begins. The first song starts off slow. You hold the cover in your hands, looking over the titles on the back. 

“So this one is���” you run your fingers over the cover and find the title of the first song, “Shine On You Crazy Diamond?” you ask him. 

“Correct.” he nods to you. 

“Sounds… crazy.” You giggle to him and he huffs a laugh back at you. He approaches you closer and runs his hands along your forearms, while his eyes flit across your face. He pulls you in to rest your head against his chest as you both sway to the music in his room. Your face tucked into the crook of his neck, taking in the scent of his deep cologne. 

“The music is inside you, darling” he whispers to you. You feel the vibrations against his chest and smile to yourself. 

His fingertips find the edge of your jaw, pressing against the bone to angle your face up to his. He immediately presses his soft lips to yours, slow and filled with intention. 

His right palm cups the side of your face as he works his lips against yours, taking in the feeling of your skin against his as the music plays in the background. His left hand finds the small of your back, and presses against you to pull closer to him. 

His feet slot between yours as he inches you closer to his bed. You feel the edge of it hit the back of your knees and he lowers you to it carefully, lips never losing contact with yours. 

With your head resting against his pillows, he begins to deepen the kiss, opening his mouth to invite you inside. His wet tongue slides against yours, licking into you, the feeling alone causes the smallest movement within your hips. You press them against his and he reaches a hand down to hold you. 

The kiss deepens, a sense of rush to it as the beat of the song picks up in the background. He grinds down against you, his length hardening at the feeling of your tongue sliding against his. You swallow his soft moans into your mouth. 

His fingertips curve over the waistband of your jeans and he gives a light tug, signaling he wants them off. You reach down and pop the button as he pulls the zipper down. You lift your hips to assist him in sliding the jeans down your legs. As he maneuvers your feet out of each pant leg, he returns his body to yours. You welcome him back in with spread legs. He places a quick kiss to your lips before scooching his body down the bed, bringing his face closer to your center. 

Now positioned in front of your panties, he slips the fabric to the side, your hips bucking forward in response. His mouth forms a small circle as he blows cool air against your wet skin. A breath hitches in your lungs through clenched teeth at the sensation. 

“Shh doll, let the music guide you” he reassures you, and you place your hips back down against the mattress, relaxing at his words. 

With his pointer finger, he traces a line between your folds to feel your wetness, brushing past your clit, teasing your entrance by circling the tip of his finger around it. 

At the sound of the cymbals crashing in the song, he pushes his finger deep inside you. His head tilting up to catch your reaction. You push the back of your head against his pillows at the feeling of the first stretch. He pulls his finger back out of you to the second knuckle, just to reinsert it, twisting it as he does so. 

As he feels your wetness increase, he adds his middle finger inside as well, the pleasure of two fingers inside you hitting just right. 

“Yes Jake, just like that.” You reach a hand down to place on the back of his head, pushing his face closer to your core. You want to feel his mouth on you. 

Before he allows you, he removes his fingers from you to pull your panties down your legs. You kick them off, spreading your legs and reaching for the back of his head once more. He chuckles to himself at your desperate need. 

He doesn’t make you wait, shoving his two fingers back inside of you, teasing your clit with his tongue giving short kitten licks to your needy bud. 

Both of your hands entangle in his hair as your back arches off the sheets, your head pressing into the pillow. Strained moans flutter from your throat. 

Jake wraps his lips around your clit, sucking at it as his fingers pump in and out of you. He forces them into you to the hilt, the knuckles of his other fingers brushing up against your lower lips. When he can’t go any further, he curls his fingers into you, while flattening his tongue and rubbing it against your clit. His eyes looking up at you from down below. 

You can’t bring yourself to look back. The pleasure being too much, your eyes are shut tight. His fingers continue to curl faster, brushing against your g spot. Your pussy quivers around them. He can feel you teetering over the edge from inside of you. 

He removes his fingers only to replace them with his tongue. He licks up into you, flicking his tongue around the rim of your entrance. His thumb quickly flicks against your clit. 

Come on, you painter

You piper, you prisoner,

And shine

You hit your own climax in tune with the song. Heat rises underneath your skin as the pleasure buzzes throughout you. The muscles of your abdomen begin to spasm as he licks you through your orgasm, bringing you back down to earth. The sound of your soft pants brings him to grind himself against the mattress. 

He lifts himself from his position between your legs and brings his mouth to yours, allowing you to taste yourself against your tongue. Forcing your own taste into your mouth causes Jake’s cock to twitch against his jeans. 

You feel his length press against your inner thigh. Without breaking the kiss, you snake your hands between your bodies and fiddle with the button and zipper. One hand pressing into the pillow next to your head, he uses the other to finesse the pants down, switching between to fully pull them down. 

He wastes no time, pulling his underwear down with them. As his cock springs free, it slaps against the skin of his navel. You immediately wrap your fingers around him and begin to tug, pulling the skin from the base, running your hand over the head of his cock. 

His quick moans pushing into your mouth, you feel him vibrate into you. Your thumb swipes over his slit, playing with the precum, swirling it around the head. He bucks into your touch. You angle his cock down to flit his head through your folds. The feeling of your wetness over his sensitive skin sends a shiver down his spine, a weakening moan falls from him. 

He plays with your pussy using his cock, the sounds of your wetness travel up to your ears. 

“Close your eyes, listen and feel everything that’s happening right now. hear that?” He says to you, just above a whisper. His voice rasps with want. The feeling inside of him passing want. He needs you right now. 

You read his mind by the sounds of his panting breaths. 

“Slip it inside me, Jake” he follows your request with a grunt as he eases his cock past your entrance, stretching your walls around him. 

He pushes himself inside of you to the hilt, you feel the tip of his dick brush against your cervix. The feeling causes a scream-like moan to erupt from you. 

He pumps himself inside of you, his cock sliding in and out with ease from the way you’re dripping for him. 

He fucks you deeper, placing your hair behind your ear to make sure you hear it all, along with the sounds of his shuddering breath in the shell of your ear. 

“The music is inside you, darling” his fingertips trace your jawline. 

The sound of his sweet voice against your ear makes you whimper. He sees your reaction to him, and pulls away from you, leaning against his heels. He watches himself fuck into you, your eyes trained on him. 

He tilts his head down, chin to his chest. You watch as he lets a trail of spit slide off of his tongue, landing directly on your clit. Your back arches at the sight of him, and he can feel your walls tighten around him. 

He plays with his spit around your clit with the pad of this thumb. His eyes return to you as he circles around it, adding pressure to the nerves there. 

“Cum for me once more. Think you can do that? Want to feel you cum with me inside you.” You nod feverishly at him. 

He adds pressure against your clit as the pace of his thrusts into you increase, deeper and harder. Your walls are clenching around him, strangling his cock. He almost can’t take it. 

You feel him twitch inside you.

 “Need you to feel me until the songs over”

You grab his lower back and push him deeper inside you, squeezing out a grunt from his lips. You’re pushing him over the edge and he’s losing this battle. 

“Please darling, cum for me. I feel your pussy clenching around me.” He begs for you. 

You’re almost holding out on purpose. You want to push him. You know he’s holding on inside of you, waiting for your release until he can find his own. 

You angle your hips down against the bed, he feels your walls press against him from inside. 

“No, baby. I can’t. Fuck I’m gonna-“ 

He grabs the bones of your hips and fucks into you fast, his teeth clenched as he sucks a quick breath between them. 

Your hand reaches up to the hair at the nape of his neck, giving the strands a tight tug. Your pull causes his head to angle to the ceiling. 

“Fuck your cum into me, Jake. Give it to me.” 

He loses himself with your words. He releases into you, painting your walls with his warm cum. His thumb never leaves your clit, still focusing on your finish as he reaches his own. 

You start to feel the warm liquid leak of you, dripping down against the curve of your cheeks. The feeling of him fucking his release back into you takes over and you let go for him. Your walls contract against him, a whiny whimper leaving his lips. 

“Yes, baby that’s it.” He talks you through your orgasm. The only response you're able to give him is your panting breaths. 

He stills his cock inside of you as he watches you come back down to him. The palm of his hand strokes the side of your face, you fall into his touch. 

He leans into you, pressing his plump lips against yours, as he pulls his soft cock out from inside you. You instantly wrap your arms around his neck, missing the feeling of him inside. 

“I know, pretty. I miss you too” your heart swells at his kind words to you. 

He climbs off of you to nestle into your side next to you on the bed. You turn to face him and he smiles as he scans over the outline of your face with his eyes. Forever craving your skin against his, he wraps an arm behind you, pulling your chest against his. His four fingers tangle into your hair as his thumb swipes gently against your temple. 

He whispers onto your lips. 

“You are my diamond.” 

Taglist: @gretasimp @writingcold @wowkakashi  @spark-my-nature @babyhoneygvf

[penna-nomen]

Music Monday on whatever today is

I've lost all track of what day of the week it is! Thanks for the tag @a-noble-dragon!

Rules: Choose a few fics you wrote that were inspired by a song - not just with song lyrics in title - and share the tune and the link to the fics. If anyone wants to guess which goes with which go for it in comments or tags!

This made me laugh, because a big part of my Caffrey Conversation series is the idea that the Caffrey family is obsessed with music. Many of the stories were inspired by multiple songs, which are featured in the story either as being sung or as chapter titles or both.

For instance:

Caffrey Conversation, set in December 2003. Songs: Meet Me in St. Louis, Little Drummer Boy, Hark the Herald Angels Sing, The Alphabet Song (yes, as in A B C D...) -- I had a lot of fun with loopy Neal

Caffrey Choirboy, set in December 2003. Songs: Lo How a Rose E'er Blooming, Various songs by Coldplay and Muse, Young at Heart

In the Driver's Seat, set in December 2003. Songs: Dream a Little Dream of Me, Stormy Weather, O Holy Night, Respect

By the Book, set at the end of 2003 & start of 2004. Songs: BBC's Pride & Prejudice soundtrack, My Sacrifice, The Reason, My Own Worst Enemy, My Immortal, With a Little Help From My Friends, Candle in the Wind

Caffrey Flashback, set in February - March 2004. Songs: Me Against the World, Broken, Young at Heart, Let it Be, Roads Untraveled (not released in 2004 but inspirational for the funeral scene), Nobody Knows the Trouble, The Waiting, Au Clair de la Lune, Coldplay's Trouble, Nothing Else Matters, Fix You, Yesterday, You're so Vain, Why Can't You Behave, You Are My Lucky Star, Wanted

Caffrey Disclosure, set in summer 2004, where one of the cases involves taking down a corrupt music executive by pretending to be up-and-coming rock stars. Songs: Liszt's La Campanella, Let Me Be Myself, Are You Happy Now, Firework (yeah, not released in 2004 but still inspirational for the 4th of July chapters), Carry on Wayward Son, Danny Boy, My Hero, Disappear, Runaway Train, Muse: Apocalypse Please & Time is Running Out, It's Hard to be Humble, I'm Too Sexy, Easier to Run, I Wanna Be a Cowboy, I Love a Rainy Night, Ave Maria, Help Me Rhonda, A Spoonful of Sugar, You've Got a Friend, Eye of the Tiger, Sailing, Fly Like an Eagle, Steve McQueen, I Am a Rock, Hanging by a Moment, I'll Be, Here I Go Again, Tomorrow, Someone Waits for You, Everybody Hurts, The Embassy Waltz

Caffrey Aloha, set in Dec 2004 - January 2005. Songs: Somewhere Over the Rainbow, If Only I Had a Brain, Let There Be Peace On Earth, I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day, Silver Bells, Footloose, Sorcerer's Apprentice song from Disney's Fantasia

Lavender Dreams, set in summer 2006. Songs: Once Upon a Dream, Dream a Little Dream of Me, All I Have to Do is Dream, A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes, Day Dream Believer, Nessun Dorma, River of Dreams, Impossible Dream, Dream On, Purple Rain, Zing Went the Strings of My Heart, Lay Your Hands on Me, La Bamba

I could go on, but you get the idea...

And I'll tag @thesymphonytrue because I know you're into music, too. Open tag to anyone else who's tempted

[gentle-author]

I never knew how to love properly if you ask me, but I always seemed to do.

Anything would be "too much" or "too little" as a matter of fact and nothing would be "fine" or "measurable".

I feel like exaggeration is the best way to show love to your favourite person.

Exaggeration is not buying diamonds though.

For foreigners, exaggeration resembles a fallen star and a lover making a wish by observing its falling.

For lovers, exaggeration is familiar to giving a simple white flower to your alter ego, symbolising a fresh and pure life together, cherishing each other till the end.

For potential lovers, "friends" or flirting machines, call them however you like, exaggeration is a nice touch in the waist, a nasty joke under the blankets on a rainy day and a compliment that matches or not the character of each other.

My favourite exaggeration comes to soulmates.

And it comes to soulmates because for them, exaggeration simply does not exist.

Soulmates have managed to hug each other's soul and heal the wounds they never made. They somehow know how to love like it's second nature. They tend to recognise the other person's smell from around the corner while thinking about them repeatedly. Soulmates have always been in love with eachother even when they didn't know the other person existed. They have managed to know it tho, somehow, based on their own beliefs and feelings, by wishing that somewhere, out there, they're fallen star would be their wish come true. Soulmates have made friends with the stars and the rainbow, the sleeping bees and the awaken trees. Soulmates have tried to ruin themselves multiple times, always managing to do so, always pretending to be brand new. Soulmates are family members, friends and lovers. Soulmates are a forever kind of thing. Even though forever is a crazy word to use, simply because it may not exists. Despite the feeling of misery, soulmates have created serendipity and freedom, only to give it to their loved ones. There couldn't be any exaggeration in love for soulmates. Mates in soul and heart. Love seems too little for them they could easily create a stronger feeling. Stronger than passion.

How would be ever able for soulmates to exaggerate about love?

When love, is the definition of them.

Soulmates do not know how to love properly.

They just do.

Copyright © 2024 Christine Aggeli. All rights reserved.