#fall of 2023 i made a note in my notes app that was like

[luvo27]

look finding out that steph kills her dad wasn't a trope genuinely really rocked me ok. like its been an unstated truth of the world in my mind for literally over a real life year

[ferrstappen]

Max the wag (again)| Max Verstappen blurb

love note: I’ve loved the response to gossipy Max and (y/n) that I came up with this little piece 💘

YOU CAN FIND THE REST OF MAX THE WAG SERIES HERE

summary: a new break up hits the paddock and Max and you are the best investigators.

Canada GP, 2023

Max didn’t mean to overhear whatever was going on inside the four walls of Ferrari’s place on the track.

But if the information came his way, who was he to deny it?

He was mildly bored in between interviews and before FP1, not caring about interacting with people because you weren’t there, too many things to take care of, studying and being an intern didn’t allow you to be there with him. Still, he sent you silly pictures of him walking by himself (metaphorically since fans and workers were all over), he smiled at the WhatsApp sticker you sent him along with a picture of you, papers scattered all over your desk, iPad showing the F1 app.

While walking by Ferrari, he really really couldn’t help walking a bit slower as three engineers were enjoying a cigarette while loudly speaking to each other, motor and tool noises were ambient noise.

I heard she’d forgiven him once, after São Paulo last year.

What happened there? I keep hearing about it but i left to Abu Dhabi right after the podium.

Carlos and Norris contacted some girls and left with them or something along the way, kept it under wraps though but now? I think it was too much for her.

Shame, she was always polite and nice to everybody. She even knew our names!

And Carlos’ sister is getting married soon, he ducked it big time. I heard someone in the garage she decided to not go and his family is pissed.

It caught Max’s attention… he instantly recalled the conversation with you, trying to figure out if Carlos and Isa were still together. Clearly, they weren’t and the entire paddock was aware of it.

Maybe Christian could have more information about it.

But the first thing he did was to text you, announcing he had more information.

Info about what? Was your response, making Max’s eyes roll…

Sainz and girlfriend!

Max didn’t hear it, but you gasped at the simple text message. Max was very selective with the information he actually took seriously, and for him to tell you he heard something meant it was probably real.

Shut up! What did you hear? Who told you?!?!?

Max smiled, a smug grin knowing you were dying for the information, but he’d keep it for later, when he was laying on the hotel bed, fresh out of the shower, white t-shirt and shorts and ready to fall sleep. That’s when he was sharing the information.

He was surprised when you called him out of the blue and he chuckled, his gorgeous blue eyes getting smaller, little wrinkles forming, dimples showing.

“Hello schat, to what do I owe this pleasure?” Max teased, instantly taking in your neat hair, neutral make up and deep red lipstick… oh, what would he give to bite your lower lip and have his face and chest covered in faint red lipstick.

”don’t be coy! What did you hear? I heard the snippet of an interview and she sounded so broken it was so sad, but what did you hear?!” You rambled, making Max’s smile even bigger.

“I told you I’m sharing my discovery later, i’ll have to be in the car in thirty minutes or so,”

“I hate you so much, you can’t leave me hanging! I don’t want to ask her directly!” You complained like a toddler, noticing Max was just staring at you through the screen.

“I love you, I have to go,” Max said after he noticed part of the Red Bull PR team approach him. He was waiting for you to tell him you love him too, but your words weren’t exactly what he was expecting.

“Max babe, try to get info on Shakira and Hamilton!”

Honestly, you and Max were a match made in heaven.

[deadinthefoam]

Hero Worship, Terrible Artists And Thursday

Trigger warning; this blog/essay contains mentions of sexual violence, racism, ableism and homophobia. Please keep yourself safe.

-

Recently, I've had a bit of a detachment phase going on.

Realising that your heroes aren't perfect is a very natural, and important, part of maturing; no matter how well put together somebody's image might be, no person is incapable of making a mistake, or doing something “problematic”. Notes app apologies seem to have become a staple of online culture, when a celebrity's old tweets resurface about some miscellaneous topic, and the swift hammer of chronically online twitter — oops, X — users falls down to determine whether this person is “good”.

Of course, when the topic is serious, concerning racism, homophobia, transphobia, ableism, sexual assault etc., I find that saying we should “cancel” these people shows the trivialisation of serious issues in online spaces. Though, I suppose the concept of an angry mob is something that’s been in our society for a long, long time, so it harkens back to our primal instincts of justice. That being said, you can't “cancel” anybody; rich people find their way back to the top and move on 99.9% of the time, and all we can do is watch. This is the hellscape of capitalism (late stage, if we’re going to be specific). And it is frustrating beyond all words, so we have giant campaigns to seek some kind of catharsis, hoping we can get this person beaten with virtual sticks. The internet is often a lawless place, so we create our own type of karma.

What helps us in our quests, naturally, is the fact that all information can now so easily be dropped into our laps. A quick google search is all you need to find out somebody’s achievements, and their greatest “flops”. Exposé articles and think pieces are ready for us to consume, mull over in silent discomfort, before at the end, there’s the unexplainable dread that we now have to come to a conclusion about all of this, by ourselves; there is no definitive authority on this subject, no great philosophical statement, because, as we are constantly reminded by the snot nosed critics, “art is subjective”. Suddenly, after being metaphorically waved off by the high brows, who declare us too unimaginative to understand the genius of Woody Allen, we now have to decide the morality of a piece of work, or person. We are inexplicably burdened by our love for art.

My mother once told me that “all knowledge is good knowledge”. I don’t really consider my knowing of Johnny Depp’s sexual abuse of his ex-wife to be particularly “good”. My knowledge becomes a dead weight. Clair Dederer, in her book ‘Monsters: What Do We Do With Great Art By Bad People?’ [2023], (which I took quite a few cues and good takeaways from), put it best: “Biography used to be something you sought out, yearned for, actively pursued. Now it falls on your head all day long.”

Because of this, I see that the backlash from fans against a public figure can be more vitriolic than most — these are the people who actively seek out those biographies, and delve deeply into them. Of course, you have the adamant defenders, but there's something oddly heartbreaking about the fury of an ex-fan, who found such value in somebody's work, perhaps deriving a piece of their soul from it, only for the creator to do something they find to be unforgivable.

The most recent of this phenomenon, and possibly the most impactful to me personally, I've found, is the case of Neil Gaiman fans, and how his countless sexual assaults have left much of his audience feeling deeply betrayed. I have seen countless fans, or perhaps ex-fans now, speaking about how his work inspired them, made them feel safe despite the world not wanting them — only to be told that, just like so many other rich, white men, Gaiman took advantage of his power, and inflicted unforgivable trauma on many young women. Discussions of death of the author are rife; separation of art from the artist begins (if it can begin).

Full clarity here — I was never a big fan of Gaiman, not to say that makes me better than anyone who was. I do label myself as a nerd, so perhaps not being very familiar with his works makes me a poser, but I was aware of his significance in comic book culture. He was one of those acclaimed figures that people would talk about online as though he were a modern day God, praising his writing, his activism, and all around “good vibes”. I read “Coraline” once, was vaguely impressed by it, and then moved on. That didn’t make the news of his crimes any less jarring to me; many people who I met through online spaces who were fans of his are absolutely heartbroken, and the backlash felt so personal, so devastated, that in a strange, twisted way, I am intrigued by it.

How can we be so emotionally invested in people we don’t know?

Trust is very rarely a two way street when it comes to the artist you like (though it can be possible). We truly don't know anyone through our screens, no matter how hard we could try to. The outpouring of grief over somebody you don't really know is both something irrational yet rational. You are mourning a person you've only seen a speck of; because artists do put a part of their soul into their work, and if you look for it, you can see it. People grasp that with both hands, find meaning in it, and use it to find strength in themselves. That is something vulnerable, intimate — if you choose to kill the author, after they commit some heinous crime, do you kill a piece of yourself?

What I'm trying to get at here, is that relationships between artists and their audiences are fraught; parasocial, if we're going to use that word (whole nother box of worms). Going back to my first statement, I have been going through a process of carefully detaching myself from the artists I enjoy, so I save myself at least a part of the humiliation and heartbreak in case something awful comes out about them. It's a self preservation tactic based on suspicion, that isn't new. And I am not immune to it. Nobody is.

With great effort, I’ve pulled myself away from Shirley Manson, from Chappell Roan, from Jarvis Cocker, from Anthony Green, from Paramore, from My Chemical Romance (efforts still ongoing here — MCR is a terribly easy band to get attached to). Now I attempt to see things objectively, so I don't have to feverishly hope and pray that none of the artists I love have sexually assaulted a child. I'm aware I sound horrifically cynical.

That being said, the band Thursday from New Jersey will always be perfect to me.

No, no — that's wrong. Hold on.

I know Thursday cannot be perfect, because I will always stand by the philosophy that nothing is perfect. Yet, I have the most trouble detaching myself from this band. It's a bit of a twisted cycle, I will go through phases of completely cutting away any personal strings I have to the artists, and yet inevitably I return.

Probably part of the draw is the golden retriever-like charisma of lead singer Geoff Rickly, who's very vocal on his Instagram stories, and is very open to talking with fans. I'm one of those fans, occasionally asking questions in direct messages, or sharing artwork, though I'm sure I'm incessantly irritating. I find Geoff oddly comforting, as a person I maybe could have been — musically gifted, friendly, and able to make good connections with people. Instead, I sit alone in my small room at university, having dropped most of my musical interests in favour of a law degree that I'm not entirely sure I want to do. And I know I'm young, in comparison, I still have (in my opinion far too much) time left; but the existential dread isn't easy to cope with. I have to make decisions that I feel I am wildly unequipped for, in a world that clearly does not want me. Geoff exudes a kind of warmth and openness, which makes me feel as though maybe I can be as content as him, eventually.

The rest of the band are active on social media, each bringing their own unique personalities. Tucker Rule, the drummer, is the most frequent poster, sharing almost every concert he does (which is a fucking lot, considering his position in LS Dunes as well), as well as a few sweet posts about his family. Stu Richardson, bassist and producer, is relatively quiet, but his few words count just as much as anybody else's, and his handprints are all over their new single's (White Bikes) slick production. I definitely found a sense of safety in the band, after I listened to a podcast between Geoff, Steve Pedulla and Norman Brannon, the two guitarists, and found that queer people in hardcore was, well, something that existed.

And the fandom provides warmth as well; a strange mix of older hardcore guys, and younger, mainly gay and/or trans fans, who create a space which is marginally more accepting than probably every other fandom I've ever been in. Then, just as I was furious about none of my favourite musicians speaking about Palestine, Sudan and the Congo, Geoff Rickly calls on stage almost every night for an end to the genocides in each of those countries, and rags on US imperialism.

It's glorious. It's all I've ever wanted in a band.

It's fucking scary.

Because now, what do I do if these people ever disappoint me? How should I proceed? Should I burn my baseball cap that I got from their website and paid extortionate shipping fees for? Should I toss my Thursday albums in the garbage? The CDs that Geoff so kindly signed, after following their concert in London during summer, I utterly blew my chance to meet him and had a panic induced meltdown in front of their tour bus?

(I still feel embarrassed about that.)

All that pain, all that grief, and hatred, and love — where does it go?

Fuck if I know.

Instead, I'd like to perhaps posit something new. Detaching from your heroes is good; but a full disconnect is usually impossible. Perhaps we should find new things to explore, new ways to fall in love, get heartbroken by, and move on from. This is just the human experience, to love and to lose, and to move onwards; not everybody in the world is going to disappoint you, despite what the cynics may argue. We are not naturally selfish and cruel. Not to bring politics into things, but those traits are normalised under capitalism.

At a point, you realise that the artist who has done something terrible is not one of a kind. They are one of many; sexual assault, in the case of Neil Gaiman, is something that occurs so often among rich, high status, powerful men, that it is normalised. Neil Gaiman seemingly did everything right, he was an ally to the queer community, he was a “feminist” by all accounts, and yet here we are. But I find that putting any more effort into someone like that, who wears the face of a good person, to be tiring and not something anyone should go through.

It will take time, but I feel as though a mild detachment is necessary, for yourself, and the artist, because you can have trust both ways, through a sense of mutual understanding. You don't realise you have something until it's gone, how fandoms mourn their favourite creators when those creators step away from fandom and social media entirely (and for good reason!) and leave us behind; like Alan Moore, Gerard Way or Ryan Ross. Their (public) biographies stop — we are no longer privy to their lives. And who are we to tell these people what they can do? Fame is a terrible thing, most of the time, yet it’s a tragedy that we keep having to learn, every time a young artist passes away.

Funny how it takes somebody dying for us to pull together.

So, I’m going to keep being annoying about Thursday, milk that youthful naivety, until I grow up a little more. I’m going to keep making my silly portraits of band members, because I know the day will come where I will have to put my paintbrush down, and permanently trade it in for a keyboard and court documents. With age, I expect that some things will not affect me as deeply as they do now, and I will understand my idols as I become closer to their age. I will learn to distance myself, with time — but I can still care. It is never a crime to care. Love is a burden I will gladly shoulder for a little while more.

I don’t want to wade into faux deep talk, and get in over my head, so I’ll wrap things up now.

Maybe I've been completely pretentious this entire ramble. Maybe all these words mean fuckall in the grand scheme of things, someone’s surely thinking “we have bigger things to worry about”, and I don’t disagree. So, I'll leave you with this: be kind to yourself, fall in love with new art. When the artists you love disappoint you deeply, scream “fuck you”, with righteous rage and sadness — cry and feel. Write that think piece. Burn a book if you want to.

But do not ever give up on yourself for trusting somebody. You still have love to give to those who better deserve it, and your love is worth so much more than you can ever imagine. Love is neither rational, nor logical, but it is real.

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 8/29/2023

my ENTIRE SUMMER has been either worrying about moving or actually moving. ALL OF IT. however an incredibly hot butch milf on the gay community bulletin board/dating app lex has finally answered my piteous call for gun safety classes with an invitation to her private range. unfortunately she is a landlord who owns a VERY large apartment complex. houston is a land of contrasts

listening

more joywave! one of my favorite bands bc they are best listened to in full album format, and i did a fuck of a lot of driving this weekend. little lies you’re told has an opening like a big machine warming up while you are in a control room way high up on a gantry somewhere. spotify

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reading (2x bonus round)

All The Trimmings by Tesni Morgan (published 2001 in the UK) is a gift from @believerindaydreams. it is “erotic fiction written by women for women” (debatable) and “the publishers recommend that this book should be sold only to adults”. also, “Black Lace novels contain sexual fantasies. In real life, make sure you practise safe sex.” idk i’ve ever seen that kind of notation on an american novel before? fascinating precursor to the saccharine little “stay safe kids” ao3 authors notes

i do find the premise genuinely fun and compelling— two divorced milfs opening a hotel/bordello with historically themed rooms. i have had to look up a lot of british purple prose and i refuse to believe anyone says “rogering” in real life.

im being edged with glimmerings of bisexuality. every time one of the milfs gets turned on and goes out roaming to distract herself from being turned on, i go “oh?” like at a pokemon go egg, but so far all the dalliances and encounters have been dudes.

had a very strange experience with cormac mccarthy's blood meridian. i don’t normally interrogate whether or not i am the intended audience for a work except when it’s literally made for children, bc i as a modern bisexual woman am the intended audience for vanishingly few works. for example, many entire genres (westerns) are very challenging to enjoy.

a western has never made me go "wait so why DO i like westerns at all" so hard. like, what AM i doing here in this genre that is often deeply fucking uncomfortable to consume as a woman, and where the most foundational american and european works of the genre often uncritically embrace the worst parts of the american mythos in the most violent way possible? i do believe critics when they say mccarthy is not embracing violence for the sake of, and in fact has something to say with his revisionist western, but my god is it hard to wade through. anyway, dad media will not fuck me and i still have only a tenuous grasp on why i try so hard to glean enjoyment from it.

i know what mccarthy is trying to do and the overall tone of “weird old maybe-uncle” spinning a yarn to a big group of you and your cousins around a fire somewhere is pretty effective. unfortunately I have less tolerance for mccarthy’s style now than when I read The Road thirteen years ago in high school. i was immediately super invested in The Road’s single dad and how he and his kid were surviving, which does not need a lot of interiority.

blood meridian also has very little interiority. the first five chapters are a teen falling in and out of various fights. i was not, and am still not invested. if im reading A Man Goes On A Journey western (as opposed to A Stranger Comes to Town western) i would like to know two or three things about the man, especially if it seems to be angling at a bildungsroman. i don't typically care for third-person objective narration when it is this closely focused on one guy, and i really don't care for loving descriptions of maggots. comforting to know a lot of critics were also squicked out by this book. so it goes.

-

watching

finished watching s1 of spy x family! a Legally Not West German spy in Legally Not East Berlin has to go into deep cover and pose as a family man in order to gain access to Legally Not Erich Honecker, because the only social events Legally Not Erich Honecker goes to are the ones at his son's elite prep school.

this man FLINGS himself into being the absolute best husband and father possible. for the mission, of course.

i found the first few episodes the best, which is generally the opposite of my normal anime experience. i think it does a really good job of balancing high-octane spy hijinks and chases and explosions with very domestic concerns (he PROPOSES. with a THE RING OFF A HAND GRENADE. AFTER THROWING IT), and once you're really hooked on these characters it turns into a bit of a curtainfic. curtainanime? i had fun with all of it and anxiously await season two, but the actual applied spycraft does drop off significantly as the series goes on.

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playing

we're going to continue with out of context genshin screencaps for the duration. the watery land of fontaine has a neat smorgsabord of visual style-- freshwater but also saltwater but also the aquarium section at petsmart.

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making

unpacking mostly. acquired this coffee table and its mother. needs a very deep cleaning and some touchups but is intact. the individual tables are a bit large for like individual party drinks tables but all six together are QUITE large. four tigether would be a comfortable coffee table size for many apartments imo but! bc everything truly is bigger in Texas including my apartment it works for right now. for the first time in my life i am considering a sectional sofa bc the living/dining room is that dang big.

[phoenixs-fandoms-and-writings]

Confession

Fandom: Harry Potter

Pairing: Lily Evans/GN!reader

Summary: You’ve had a crush on Lily for about two years. She’s spent the last couple of months holding your hand or linking arms with yours when she’s with you, but hasn’t been doing it with others. You finally ask her about it.

Notes: This was written for Flufftober 2023’s day 15 prompt: Emergency, Confession, Adventure. @flufftober

I don’t own Lily Evans or Harry Potter.

This account is anti-JKR and is a safe space for all.

I do not give permission to anyone to repost or translate any of my stories. I also do not give anyone permission to feed my stories through AI or to be posted to any third party website or app. If anyone sees any of my work posted anywhere but here or my AO3 (simplyreflected), then it has been posted without permission.

Read on AO3 here.

You and Lily had both been friends for ages; since you both began at Hogwarts. The two of you hit it off immediately. Even better was that both of you were sorted into the same house.

It’s been six years since that day. And two years since you developed a crush on her. You’ve kept it to yourself since then, afraid that this would ruin your friendship with her.

However, one day, three months after Snape called her a mudblood, the two of you had become closer; physically closer. Whenever you were nearby, she would take your hand or link her arm with yours and it confused you, to say the least. It started two weeks later, and you thought it was time to bring it up. You needed answers.

When the two of you were alone, you finally worked up the courage to ask her, “Lily?”

“Hmm, what is it?”

“Why do you always hold my hand or link arms with me when we’re together?” You paused, before adding, “you never do that with Marlene, Dorcas, or Mary.”

“I like you.” She stopped, and looked down as if ashamed. “No, I love you. You’ve always been there for me when I need it. And the truth is I had been falling for you, prior to what happened with Snape.”

“Lil. Lily?” When she didn’t look up, you cupped her cheek and guided her face up. You didn’t need her looking at you, but you needed her to listen.

She moved her hand up to hold your wrist and close her eyes. She enjoyed your touch. She always had. You knew that, but now you knew that she felt the same way.

“Lily, I need to know you’re listening to me, alright?” She nodded to let you know she’s listening. “I love you. I have for the past two years.” Her eyes opened and she looked up at you. “I was afraid I’d ruin the friendship we had, and that you’d choose him over me. You had been friends with him longer than you had been with me, after all.”

She moved closer, until your lips touched. You made the final move and kissed her. You were finally at peace, no longer having to hide what you feel.

[calsvoid]

writing meme: about me

i got tagged by @lusthurts so thank you for that <3

1. How did you get into writing fanfiction?

ive been into writing for years before i got into fanfiction specifically so i guess just from reading fanfiction i guess, but if you want a longer story, i got more interested in writing from roleplaying on amino and got into fanfiction because the fandom i was in at the time got OBSESSED with this one popular work and i just HAD to check it out

2. How many fandoms have you written in?

officially, my ao3 account only has glee works rn but i do have a 911 fic im working on and i do want to venture into more fandoms, but i don’t really have the confidence to do so yet

3. How many years have you been writing fanfiction?

i’ve been trying since 2020 to be more of a fanfic writer but never actually got anything solid until 2023 so 1-4 years depending on how you see it

4. Do you read or write more fanfiction?

definitely read im a slowass writer and part of that is because im too busy reading fanfiction instead of writing

5. What is one way you've improved as a writer?

overall in the years i’ve been a writer, i feel like i’m better at portraying characters as well rounded and creating characters that aren’t just one stereotype. when it comes to my time as a fanfic writer, im better at writing actual scenes rather than just random narration

6. What's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

the probability of survival when falling from certain heights. also ohio the glee writers were cruel for making their show based in fucking ohio of all places

7. What's your favorite type of comment to receive on your work?

i’m honestly not picky i love all types of comments, but if i really had to choose, it’d probably be any that point out a specific part or line or whatever in my writing. it makes me so happy when people have some detail stick with them

8. What's the most fringe trope/topic you write about?

i honestly haven’t done anything too intense in my writing i think the most out there i’ve gotten is just emotional infidelity and that’s just standard for seblaine. i do plan on killing blaine in one wip of mine, but it’s just an idea for now because i’ve got other shit to focus on

9. What is the hardest type of story for you to write?

longer stories are literally impossible for me. i absolutely SUCK at writing anything longer than a couple thousand words and even that is hard for me. smut is also hard but that’s because i haven’t bothered to write smut, so different vibes

10. What is the easiest type?

well if you see how many hurt no comfort fics i’ve published it’s obvious fluff is what i’m best at. but yeah short vignette angsty stories are super easy for me to write. it’s just 50% projection and 50% exaggeration and 100% gay, so no problem there

11. Where do you do your writing? What platform? When?

i often write at home, on my notes app, at any point of the day, and i post all my stuff on ao3. i will sometimes edit on my laptop on google docs, but i get lazy too and so my latest fics have been mostly raw and unedited.

12. What is something you've been too nervous/intimidated to write, but would love to write one day?

smut and literally any ship that isn’t seblaine and also longer works. i’d love to be one of those writers who comes out with these multi chapter masterpieces but i’m just not right now. i’ve had ideas for other ships too, but i never really flesh them out because they’re usually stuff that would span across thousands of words and i don’t have the time, energy, nor skill level to do that yet. and again, for smut, i just never bother, and while i think im never going to be the explicit sex scenes type of writer, i love the angst potential of it

13. What made you choose your username?

acedisgrace is a name i’m like 85% sure i saw a joke about from a stolen tumblr post on instagram and i was like hey im asexual and a disappointment haha what if i change my discord name to that and then eventually when i got an ao3 account, i just went with it because i saw it was available there too. as for calsvoid, they’re my initials and i spew whatever bullshit i want on tumblr and also i wish i didn’t have a body and instead was an amorphous blob of nothingness

i don’t really know who to tag that i haven’t already seen tag so anyone who would like to do this can

[aworldforastage]

Songs stuck in my head (2023 Q3)

（＾ω＾）the music we got for Spring/Summer 2023 audiodrama season has been amazing

相思续续入梦来/"Thoughts and memories entering my dreams" by 远皓ZIL

[三嫁咸鱼/Thrice Married to Salted Fish , Season 1]

The music and lyrics of this song perfectly balances the blend of humor and heart in this story. The verse starts off kind of cheeky, but the emotions mount as we build towards the chorus. That line about Lin Qingyu donning his wedding robes again -- a scene that made me weep while reading the novel -- is like a punch to the gut. Thankfully the song and the story ends on a happy note.

山月随舟/"The world that follows" by 大C

[残疾战神嫁我为妾后/After the Disabled God of War Became My Concubine]

This is supposed to be about a maimed war hero biding his time to take revenge on the unscrupulous enemy prince he is forced to marry, but thankfully the real story is better represented by this sweet ballad. Despite the trials and chaos of the main characters' circumstances, they find a kindred spirit in each other and a promise to build a peaceful life together after the war is over.

真情错给/ "True love given in error" by 匀子, 漆柚

[泾渭无间/Clear and Muddy Loss of Love, Season 1]

This heartbreaking duet is attempting the impossible: to capture the emotional devastation of this epic novel in just a few minutes. "Love/ falls into a drop of tear, there is no one to blame, but me who has given my true love in error." A heartfelt love has crumbled into the cruelest betrayal, but instead of anger, there is just sadness, longing, and helplessness.

随月/"Follow the moon" by 海疼er

[游龙随月/You Long Sui Yue (both seasons) ]

I love this song so much that every time I hear it I instantly forgive the parts of the audiodrama that I enjoyed less. The lyrics tell a story of meeting and getting to know someone with whom you can share the rest of your journeys and your life. It sounds like a theme song for a wuxia drama, the song that should be playing while they ride off onto their next adventure together.

直到黎明/"Until Dawn" by 文森

[诟病/Morbid Attachment]

I'm still torn between feeling like this song is a bit too raw and under-produced, or breathtakingly intimate with its focus on the main vocals. It's written for a lost lover whose name is hidden in the lyrics and melody, a lover who doesn't know or believe in this, even though a part of him desperately wants to. This song is filled with the regret and yearning that comes out of such a relationship, vulnerable but hopeful.

心眼 (主役版) /"Eye of the mind" (cast version) by 陈张太康, 文森

[心眼/Eye of the Mind, Season 2]

This duet featuring two of my favorite voice actors is basically fulfilling one of my CV fandom dreams. Their voices work so well together! The calm, modern sound of the song perfectly sets the mood for the journeys of (relatively) ordinary people who manage to have some incredible drama.

[nausikaaa]

Books I Read In 2023, Part One

In January I decided I wanted to track my reading, as I usually don't really have a sense of how much I read per month or year. I don't like things like Goodreads, so I just jotted down the books I read and what I thought of them in my notes app. Now that we're halfway through the year, I thought I might share what I've read, and then in December I can add part 2. So, without further ado,

January

The Girl From The Sea by Molly Knox Ostertag. 3 stars, a bit slow but generally sweet and fun.

Jackalope Wives And Other Stories by T Kingfisher. 5 stars, every story slapped. would highly recommend if you like dark fairytales with a sense of humour.

February

started Helen Of Troy by Margaret George. I still haven't finished it (she is LONG) but i'm really enjoying it!

I Was Born For This by Alice Oseman. 4.5 stars, it was entertaining and emotional like all of Alice Oseman's books but i have to deduct a half a star for the main character (who is from the south) briefly assuming with no basis that being from north = transphobic and the narrative treating this as a rational assumption and not super bigoted and classist, like what the hell was that about? also via this interaction Alice Oseman managed to find yet another way to mention Durham in her books but this time i couldn't even go "yay i'm from there!" because now have this sense that she thinks i'm predisposed to transphobia because of where i'm from. i cannot stress this enough: what the fuck.

The Prince And The Dressmaker by Jen Wang. 5 stars, so heartwarming and i loved the art! I'm trying to get one of my friends to read it because I just know he'll relate.

March

The Lives Of The Saints by Leigh Bardugo. 3 stars, not really my jam but it adds another layer to her other books, which I really enjoy.

Fun Home by Alison Bechdel. 3 stars, made my head hurt at times because it's kinda convoluted, but still super interesting. the musical is great too. and before you mention it, yes, i am reading Dykes To Watch Out For, but it's not on the list because I just started it, and I will probably read the bulk of it and finish it in July so it will fall under there.

April

Lies We Sing To The Sea by Sarah Underwood. 3.5 stars, i'll be honest, i read this out of morbid curiosity and spite. it was a pretty average for a YA book really, not worth all the drama it stirred up in the classics community, but the end surprised me so it gets an extra half star.

A Fatal Thing Happened On The Way To The Forum: Murder In Ancient Rome by Emma Southon. 4 stars, really interesting and quite funny at times but i just don't really like the author's vibe. she's weirdly defensive of Caligula, just as she was in her book on Agrippina that i read last year. like yeah people make fun of him and exaggerate stories about him but he literally killed people, maybe he deserves it.

May

Messalina: A Story Of Empire, Slander And Adultery by Honor Cargill-Martin. 5 stars, super interesting and engaging, i never wanted to put it down! Messalina really did just girlboss too close to the sun.

I travelled this month so didn't have time for any other books, but I bought my own weight in them and will try to work through them.

June

Rain Hare by Anna Barker. 4 stars, a collection of short stories so a mixed bag. I really liked most of them, some even made me cry (to be precise, How Do I Feel About Lentils?, which does an excellent job of blending past and present to help the reader get into the confused mind of the narrator, who has Alzheimer's, and Tunny, wherein the twist hit me like a sack of bricks and all I could do was break down) but there was just one i didn't really like (Sea Glass, i just don't really vibe with the mentally ill narrator dying at the end and this being presented as what she wanted.)

Through The Woods by Emily Carroll. 3.5 stars, good horror, the art was great and the stories interesting, but they all felt like they ended just a bit too soon and therefore lost some of their impact.

Our Wives Under The Sea by Julia Armfield. 6 stars, yes, i'm straight up giving this 6 out of 5 stars because it was so so good! i devoured it in one day flat and loved it. the horror was atmospheric and gripping, the romance made my chest ache, and the ending absolutely devastated me, but in a good way.

so yeah, hopefully i can continue to get through my massive TBR pile in the coming months! and if you've read any of these books, please let me know what you think, I would love to talk about them!!

[elizabethplaid]

daily notes - dec 11, 2023

I spend like half my time at the computer trying not to fall asleep. I kept waking up, while I was in bed earlier. Bladder, phone calls, cat, all sorts of things that wake me up. Somehow, I can't bring myself to go back to sleep. It's that "toddler tantrum" against sleep. Which is so silly, because I really wanna sleep and need it.

Also, I caved and downloaded a webnovel app, so I could finally read the stupid stories that appear in all these ads I keep watching. One was a short story, completely without consequence, but there was a slight twist that I really enjoyed and didn't expect. Made me grateful it was so short.

Started 2 others, which are of better quality, but they still need editing and/or formatting. Idk about this version of werewolves, though. I'm so used to a/b/o that the talk of like... an inner wolf instinct takes me out of the immersion. I -DID- tear up a little bit, when one chapter was really precious.

Sucks that I have to watch an ad after each "chapter". They vary in length, and these LexisNexis ads keep showing up. Like, ma'am, this is a cheesy werewolf romance. This ain't systems and finance.

(Bonus: Also got a TappyToon ad for a comic I read, and I giggled a lot. It's nsfw and the MC has exaggerated reactions to being touched. Tee-hee.)

My phone's gonna take forever to recharge, so that ought to help me resist these apps. I should just go back to bed, maybe even take tomorrow off. Wednesday is my double-crown dental appointment, so the anxiety is kicking my ass.

[metaldragoon]

410/2023 KM done for the year Lots of events have happened over the past two days! Mostly bad, but, oh well.  You may notice I have done but a baby’s run, which is what I’ve done both days since last I run, as I managed to somehow gain 15 pounds in the two days I was visiting my mother so it’s just, not feeling great to run.  I already lost 3 pounds since yesterday so I’m certain I’ll shed it off quickly especially since I’m going to be conscious of it for a bit.  Anyways! I almost hit a wolf going 120km/h, he ran in front of some car going the other direction, and then picked up speed to avoid that by running directly in front of me.  Definitely did like a 40 foot skid and was turned like 20 degrees sideways, but, at least for those few seconds the wolf managed to live.  Who knows if the next care didn’t just drill it.  I went for my fat run yesterday and it’s a shame since the weather has been so beautiful the past two days, I wanna go fast!  Anyways, today I woke up and my mom informed me her brother died, which is very sad.  I didn’t see her other message until lunch time since I mute my emails, but she emailed me last night about it saying “doctors say he’ll make it through the night” and then to already know the result was a bit of an oof.  I am not particularly heartbroken, I was not very close with him, I met him twice.  Once I went to his place, he lived in Niagara Falls so I was there for three weeks between Gr.7 - Gr. 8 summer break, but I didn’t really talk with him.  He had 2 daughters I mostly hung out with there and he was just old man spending time with my mother, but truthfully it was at worst the 2nd best holidays of my life.  The other time, his daughter happened to be moving west and driving through Winnipeg, which is where I was living at the time, so he picked me up along the way so that I could also move west.  He then told my mother I was ungrateful so I assume he didn’t like me.  But! that said my mother has not had parents for over 45 years so it’s just been her and her two brothers for most her life, and so for that I am sad that she is suffering and without someone so important to her.  After work today, driving home, two lanes, light turns red, and the guy stopped beside me got rear-ended! That is... accident #4 I have witnessed in real life I believe.  Some old white lady in a minivan rammed in to him, I could see her slamming the wheel after in frustration and then, y’know, cars were just sitting there, light changes green, and she speeds off.  A hit and run, folks!  Well, of my three other accidents I have observed one of them happened to me, in not-a-particularly-similar situation, but a hit and run none-the-less! And I was such an idiot and deleted the license plate I wrote down so I never was able to get my revenge... but not today! I took chase after our criminal!  I made sure to keep my distance so she wouldn’t panic, we were in the city and I am but a normal grey sedan... the most unassuming predator.  I followed her for like 3 minutes until I got close enough to read her license plate, pulled over to write down the information in my NOTES APP, and then returned to the scene of the crime.  Our blue subaru would be so happy to know I tracked that witch down and his insurance would not have to take the hit! And then he wasn’t even there anymore! Good grief.  So I headed to the police station, ready to file a witness report, I only know where one station is from my previous hit-and-run experience, and I don’t have data on my phone, so I’m not sure it was the closest but it was like 10 minutes out of my way.  Get out my car, and some fella tells me police station’s shut down today on account of two officers were murdered today.  How inconvenient for me personally.  So, now it’s the weekend and we have to wonder if I even care enough to return by Monday when the station will re-open.  RIP to Uncle Cameron!

[the-good-projxct]

March 8th, 2024

9:52 pm listening to what's my name by Rihanna sitting in KaMami’s room with her and Aunty KendiKakes. I did not write yesterday or the day before. Well for the day before I had already chosen a picture to use for one of this week's entries. But last night, I didn’t. For two reasons, I didn’t have my computer but I had my phone and I have written in my apps note and transferred it. Honestly, I was just in a different zone and I didn’t want to do anything other than be in that zone. I’ve been enjoying having KaMami and LoustaLoustaBaby in Nairobi. We went to the mall then we went to see my little cousin Nita and her baby girl Kiki. They are so cute. Holding a 3 month old is so precious. They're soo little and just…soo vulnerable that it brings joy and heartbreak at the same time. Something about babies is pure bliss and absolute chaos at the same time. We came back home and Shaka and Aunty Bome came by. We all spent some time together, the elders Karimi and Moka wa Mwiti were there as well. Then I left with an uber to Munene’s side of town for a few days. I got there and it was already evening so we had supper and vibed for a while. Then we went to an avocado packing plant at like 11pm till 2pm. Munene does export stuff so I tagged along so I could see what he has been up to. It was cool and ting. I was pretty sleepy when we got back to the apartment though. The next day we had a slow start. Walked to the shop, bought stuff to make breakfast then made breakfast together. Crazy story, I am struggling to conceptualize that I have a bae, that I am in Love. Like it feels…foreign. But also, he feels like home. I love doing mundane things with Munene. Like I can do nothing with him for eternity and not be bored. I think the perks of having a partner is doing romantic, touchy, sexy things with/to one another as you do mundane things. Anyway, I enjoyed making breakfast with him. We watched an episode of Love is Blind. Then we went to the mall. We took some edibles before heading out. I stopped being a stoner in 2022 but I did it a few times in 2023. I brought some edibles with me for Munene’s birthday present. So we decided to take them then go on the ferris wheel at the mall. It’s a pretty big, very western mall. The edibles hit at the perfect time, we had stopped by their office for a few. So it was soo funny to see him conducting business knowing we’re both on edibles. Then we went to the ferris wheel. The gag is, we’re both scared of heights but we both didn’t think through how high that ferris wheel goes. So once we sat in it, the fear kicked in. The ride goes twice, we only did one run cuz fear... Anyway, while up there we kissed, held hands, and said I Love you’s. It’s so crazy because life feels very romcom with Munene. We went to the grocery store because we had munchies, then we went back to his office for a while. I was sitting on the balcony then I looked up and saw hearts in the sky. Like yo, life is a movie right now. We went home, I took a nap, we watched more Love is Blind then slept. Munene Loves me. I know this in my bones. In my Soul. I Love him. We are falling in Love. I have worked so hard to heal so much stuff. I know I am ready for Love, tenderness and a partner. I feel self sabotage tryna creep in. It’s so weird because the sabotage is from my ego. My soul is at ease and in Love. My ego is tryna start shit it cannot finish. Anyway, I have the tools to take care of my ego/me/us. It’s like while living the dream, my ego doesn’t feel like it's enough or I am worthy. Even though I know I am enough. And I am worthy. I want us. I Love us. I know I will need to be consciously in Love this time. I know I am making a choice this time. I finally get it, Love is a choice. I want to choose Munene over and over and over forever. Life is Gøod. We are Gøod. I am Gøod. The Universe is Gøod. Love is Gøod. Home is Gøod. Ase. Ase.

[yhwhrulz]

Worthy Brief - November 24, 2023

Get drenched!

Romans 8:38-39 For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

A few days ago, they had to shut down the Rainbow Bridge between the U.S. and Canada at Niagara Falls because of a vehicle explosion that occurred at the border crossing.

If you've never visited Niagara Falls, you're in for a truly amazing experience! Years ago, during my first visit, I was awestruck by its enormity. It's mind-blowing to think that every second about one-hundred and fifty thousand tons of water plunges down. The sheer marvel of Niagara Falls attracts nearly 12 million tourists each year.

The Lord could have used a lot less water. He could have made the Falls smaller, but instead, He created them as high as a twenty-story building -- but would you believe that as much water as pours down from those Falls, that amount doesn't even compare to the amount of love that God has poured out upon us?

God's love toward us is not like a little water from the tap. It is not as high as a twenty-story building -- it's not as high as a fifty story building! His love far surpasses that! We can't help but be drenched!

in James it says, "Draw near to me, and I'll draw near to you" … let's spend our Shabbat drawing near to Him … and simply be drenched in His unending love this weekend!

Your family in the Lord with much agape love,

George, Baht Rivka, Obadiah and Elianna (Dallas, TX) (Baltimore, MD)

Editor's Note: The Apple App Store has given the green light to our upgrade! If you haven't installed our Worthy News App on either Android or Apple devices, you can download it today.-https://worthynews.app/ We've designed it to allow you to follow up to 50 different news sites within our app 24 hours a day, 7 days a week! And the best part? It's completely free! https://t.me/worthywatch/ Editor's Note: During this war, we have been live blogging throughout the day -- sometimes minute by minute on our Telegram channel. - Be sure to check it out!

Editor's Note: If you have a desire to contribute to the support of Israel, we've established a dedicated fund where every dollar you contribute will go towards supporting helping Israeli believers in Yeshua. - https://worthyministries.com/israel/

Editor's Note: We are planning our Winter Tour so if you would like us to minister at your congregation, home fellowship, or Israel focused event, be sure to let us know ASAP. You can send an email to george [ @ ] worthyministries.com for more information.

[art-of-manliness]

Odds & Ends: October 27, 2023

Why Note-Taking Apps Don’t Make Us Smarter. I like the idea of capturing all my thoughts and the stuff I read in one central note-taking app in order to create a super-powered brain sitting in the cloud. I have dreams that my note-taking app will help me unleash a torrent of untapped creativity. But every time I’ve tried putting the idea into practice, I’m always underwhelmed by the results. This article explains what might be contributing to the underwhelm. In the end, you can’t outsource good old-fashioned brain thinking to a computer. At least not yet.  The Thief of Always by Clive Barker. We just finished reading this book aloud as a family, and we all really liked it. Clive Barker, who’s done a lot of writing in the horror genre for adults, also penned this book aimed at kids. It centers on young Harvey Swick, whose boredom leads him to the Holiday House, where each day includes all four seasons of the year and their major holidays. What could be better than Halloween and Christmas every day? But, of course, there’s a dark price to be paid for the fun that’s offered. The second half of the book is definitely a lot weaker than the first, but the set-up is so compelling that a middle-schooler or even an adult who wants a quick pre-Halloween read will likely enjoy it. Peak Refuel Backpacking Meals. The McKays went backpacking in AR last week and dined on these freeze-dried meals during our trip. These are our favorite backpacking meals. They’re tasty and have more protein (and calories) than other backpacking meals. All the varieties are good, but Beef Stroganoff and Chicken Pesto Pasta are particular favorites. WoodWick Candles. It’s getting colder here in Tulsa, so it’s time to start getting our hygge on. Hygge is the Danish idea of creating a cozy, snug, and relaxing atmosphere in your home during the colder and darker seasons of fall and winter. Candles are an important element of hygge. One of our favorite candles is made by WoodWick. As the name implies, the wick is actually made out of wood, and when lit, it crackles like a real fireplace fire. It’s soothing. Great for fire meditations.  Quote of the Week There is a sense in which a man looking at the present in the light of the future, and taking his whole being into account, may be contented with his lot . . . But if a man has come to that point where he is so content that he says, ‘I do not want to know any more, or do any more, or be any more,’ he is in a state of which he ought to be changed into a mummy! Of all hideous things, a mummy is the most hideous; and of mummies, the most hideous are those that are running about the streets and talking. —H.W. Beecher The post Odds & Ends: October 27, 2023 appeared first on The Art of Manliness. http://dlvr.it/Sy2f38

[gadgetsboy]

Pixel Phones Receive New Feature Drop; Pixel 7a Leaks Online

Google has finally announced its first big feature drop for 2023, which brings some much-welcome updates to its Pixel smartphones. Previously, Google added Fall Detection for the Pixel Watch, and the company has now moved to updating its Pixel phones with some rather nifty features. One feature that now makes its way to the older Pixel 6 and 6 Pro is improved Night Sight photo processing, allowing users to take lowlight photographs a lot faster and quicker. This feature originally appeared on the Pixel 7 series phones, although Night Sight itself was introduced by Google way back. Google has also made its Magic Eraser editing feature available for older Pixel devices, which allows users to edit and remove unwanted subjects in their photos. Magic Eraser was also recently made available on other devices connected to Google One account subscriptions, including iPhones too. As for other features included in the update, Google's "Direct my Call" is now available for the Pixel 4a, and lets users bypass lengthy menu options during calls to businesses and such. Also added is Google Health Connect, a software feature which allows users to store, connect and share data from their compatible health and fitness apps. Meanwhile, "At a Glance" functionality has also received a new update, that will show the countdown on a user's Pixel phone simultaneously with any compatible and connected Nest devices. Google has also added Dual eSIM with Dual SIM standby for the Pixel 7 and 7 Pro handsets. With all that being said, users can view the full list of features on Google's Official webpage. As for Pixel 6 and 6 Pro owners however, it should be noted that the updates for the Pixel 6 series might come at a later date, as reports come in of a March 20 schedule. In other Google-related news, leaked photos showing the Pixel 7a in all its glory have popped up online, giving us a clearer view of what the phone will look like once it launches. The photos were shared by Zingnews, a Vietnamese tech website. The photos show hands-on usage of a Pixel 7a prototype up close, which incorporates several familiar Pixel design elements, such as the glossy rear panels, rectangular camera bar, as well as metal railing on the sides. The original article states that the device is a software prototype, and as a result is not the retail version that Google might launch for retail and carriers. The report also states that the prototype was locked remotely after the images were shared online. Other Pixel 7a leaks claim that the phone might feature a 6.1-inch OLED display with a 90Hz refresh rate, a Google Tensor G2 chip, up to 8GB of RAM, a 64MP Sony IMX787 sensor and 12MP UW camera, 5W wireless charging, and will be pre-loaded with Android 13. As for the phone's release, we might see it unveiled at Google I/O 2023, which is set to take place on 10th May. Read the full article

[fasa-umich]

Sophia Samson, FASA'S 2022 - 2023 Treasurer

I’m just going to do this by scrolling through my camera roll like a Sunday morning debrief because I simply can’t remember anything that has happened before breakfast. There is no theme to this, just tiny little thoughts and mems.

This is a pic of me as a child which I’m using purely as an attention grabber and because I didn’t want Mikey to be the first picture here. It is completely irrelevant.

The first FASA thing I attended was the Fall Mass Meeting and I went there knowing no one after being too intimidated to walk up to the Festifall table. Now I realize that was dumb dumb but that flag was wavin and I was waverin. I am now ever so thankful that I woke up from that glorious dorm room nap to walk over to Rackham that day. I remember it being such a warm welcoming little world AND I was introduced to Hola Seoul for the first time after that (thanks Caitlin). Life changing to day to say the least. 

Mikey gets a feature because this is the first FASA pic in my phone which is kinda a big deal due to how much storage space this organization takes up. Mini shoutout to him while we’re here because he was my FASA buddy and Ross guide first semester, I probably wouldn’t be where I am today without him. Thank you FASA spirits for bringing him to me, you real for that.

That pic of him is from FAM/Lineage reveal in the fall, where I was sorted into the best FAM and most epic lineage…

Left: an assortment of d i r t y members

Right: Sidapa – did y’all plan on wearing purple? lol

I was sorted into a lineage first and they were so sweet and gave me little gifts. One of those boxes of ramen is in my cupboard at this very moment (waiting for a rainy day). I looked up to them and immediately they were like siblings. I remember Sam rambling about classes I should take and giving me life advice five minutes into meeting them, it’s still in my notes app. Side note Emily is also literally like my twin so we’re connected like that. Hi Emily I luv u. Also hi to the rest of our lineage you are my idols and some of the coolest people I know.

That was a sidebar this is probably so confusing oops… okay I don’t know if I made this up but I strongly believe there was a little get together with dirty and excellence after that which left me craving some more FASA. I have such a terrible memory for a girl of only 20 years of age, but I definitely remember the feeling of wanting to hang out with these people way more than I was. That led me to apply to be an intern, which ended up changing the direction of the next year for me. Who knows where I’d be if I hadn’t decided to submit that application. Probably not on board this year and not as active as I am now, perhaps the Rossholes would have taken over. A scary thought. Hopefully I’m allowed to say Rosshole, Emily add asterisks here if necessary teehee.

**pretend there’s a pic of Teen Beach Movie night here, swear I had some but all I’ve got is Emily hugging a paper towel roll**

Wow, we look so young and naive. I don’t even know how to describe Teen Beach Movie night, but something hit me where I was like I can see myself getting to be really good friends with these people. Especially on that silent walk back to the CCTC. There was also a scary thought of us feeling like my dad and his college friends which gave me the heebie jeebies but is also kind of heartwarming. Now looking back, I have gotten to know those people and I am in fact really good friends with them so call me Raven Symone I think I’m psychic. 

Elections were after that. Look at us, all elected and whatnot. 

I’ll take this part of my little walk down memory lane to thank my Treasurer predecessors. Sam and Shane were such a big help when I joined the board and throughout this year, so major thank you to the two of you for being the best ever. The Treasurer position would have spontaneously combusted without Shane helping me throughout this year, so special thanks to King Shane. jkjk I’m very responsible 👀 Anyway, according to my camera roll battle was after that…

Us battling.

Now that I’m looking at these pics I remember Battle last year being where I got especially close to the homies. Megan, Therese, and I were in the trenches as we were ill and Kyle was getting through a bout of pink eye. Though our immune systems were weak, our friendships got strong. This year I’ve gotten especially close to those people and I’m very thankful we ended up in that hotel together. Love y’all homies xoxo

Fast forward to this year. 

We look like we’d be talking to you and as soon as you turn around we’re talking about you LOL

This pic is from Boyne and so much has happened since then. I’m gonna fast-track my sentiments about the year in a leetle paragraph. I’ve spent hours and hours with FASA and I’ve loved every minute of it. Getting to hang out with all you FASA people gives me something to look forward to on the daily. I’ve grown a lot through this organization and for that I am thankful, and I look forward to continuing to grow over the next two years before I peace out and become famous. Seriously though this is such an amazing organization and I’m so glad I woke up from my dorm room nap to go to mass meeting last year.

I hope you’ve enjoyed this silly little walk through my camera roll and poor story telling. Here are a few more specific shoutouts:

@board, read this part like the scene in Bridesmaids where they do the toasts:

My dear FASA executive board, oh have I loved working with you. You’re the best team I’ve ever had, even better than my 7th grade basketball team. Really though we’ve created so many amazing events and programs for this organization and I’m so proud of everyone for the work we’ve done over the past year. I’m glad that you are the people that the FASA spirits brought together to create memories for the 134 members of this organization (it really is 134 I know because I am Treasurer). You’re the greatest ever, no joke, and I wish you the best in the rest of this journey we call life. Peace and love.

Bonus: BO4RDTOWN 4 LIFE

@FASA Official Paid Members, read this in a Southern accent:

You are the kindest, sweetest souls on this campus. I could not picture myself spending my time here at the University of Michigan with any other group of people. Never have I ever fit in a group better than I’ve fit in with FASA. You’ve made me laugh, you’ve made me cry (also from laughter), and I simply cannot wait to see what you make me do for the next two years. 

** a small note specifically for Angelica Noelle Fandiño: 

Lastly to my two nickels, SPARE CHANGE? 🪙❤️

[chowyunnafat]

I didn’t say that the hallyu wave was solely based on the USA’s reaction alone, or even started there. All I was saying is that because Kpop has gained more exposure outside Korea there should be better ways for management (and related) to educate people and let them know how exactly they are going to market the groups and artists internationally and why they are doing it this way instead of that way. And also, English is a working language and more universal when it comes to switching between one language and another. If anyone is going to a country and they aren’t familiar with said country’s dominant language then they’re going to resort to English (this isn’t counting native English speakers themselves).

And I understand that SEA contributed to the hallyu wave, which makes a lot of sense based on what I’ve seen (For me, this was made evident in 2nd gen). I was just saying that since some Kpop acts tour in the US now, there should be better ways to cater to the international fans and that there should (most times) be some form of acknowledgment (a simple “Hello” in English) during live streams such as Instagram live, and an explanation as to why some groups just can’t promote in this country instead of that one. Therefore, geocentricism is a better road to take when a Kpop group is promoting internationally. And if this isn’t how it was done in the past, so? Times are changing and the way we communicate is changing. So, there’s definitely some things left going unsaid if there’s trouble catching up.

Also, I do know that TikTok is a Chinese app (even if it has a different name in China). Not everyone knows that though, and that’s where some of the misconception and miscommunication lies. Newbies to Kpop and those who don’t realize it’s usual concept and practices are going to throw tantrums and complain. My main gripe is not about whether an act tours in the US. My main gripe is about the mixed messages and the way some groups disregard international fans. It’s 2023, and some people (fans) don’t want to try as hard when it comes to translating an announcement made in Hangul, or subtitling a Kpop group’s variety show appearance. I’ve liked Kpop since 2nd gen, but I’m a little confused as to why some groups promote in the US, yet once the tour’s over all announcements, merch, and promotions stay in Korea and in Korean (Hangul writing). There’s one act that sings solely in English (even when promoting in Korea) but they make all announcements in Korean (without subtitles), and don’t say “hi” to international fans during live streams. A little effort to communicate and act in contrast to the faults is a lot more fair. But then again, when MAMA tried doing that (cater to the English-speaking) the local’s complained.

Based on that, I still do believe that it’s all about intercultural communication. And there’s ethnocentrism from the locals themselves (someone noted that Korean Kpop fans have a sense of entitlement too). But the marketing and communication from management needs some work. I genuinely believe that if things were laid out from the get go less feelings would be hurt. And I do know that when it comes to the international market from any industry, the English language is going to always be an option and go-to. I think Spanish and French could fall in line with this too.

Really, it’s all about the market, and it has its flaws.

And some international fans don’t understand that (and from the looks of it, US fans don’t either).

Then again, the US apparently has its persona of ignorance and brashness (based on what I’ve experienced and seen, I think our culture is misunderstood based on what other countries think they know).

If Kpop acts don’t feel the need to go the extra mile that’s fine. I just think everything has a reason and WHY behind it. And everyone deserves an explanation. And it’s disappointing that international fans (and in this case fans from the US) are so quick to assume Seventeen won’t be touring in the USA.

I do think they have quite the fan base in the US, and I don’t think that should be unacknowledged. I also feel sorry for the countries and places that don’t ever get any Kpop acts, and I wish that was fairer too.

The expectations from fans are muddled. We live in a society that’s starting to develop the stringent mindset and idea that everything should be handed to us and made available to us at the click of a button, and that’s what’s happening in this case. I actually would prefer if Kpop promotions stay in Asia (like it was in the past), so there wouldn’t be any disappointment felt from–and complaints made by international fans. Because I don’t know what’s up with the marketing tactics, communication, and tour dates and destinations now that Kpop has spread to other places such as the US. Not everyone has knowledge as to how the logistics of all of that works (tour dates and destinations and what have you). So, I can see why it’s annoying to see people from other countries whine about no tour in there area when back then this isn’t really how it was. There were no tours in the US.

I’ll also add that I’m not saying that it’s okay for any country to feel a sense of entitlement when it comes to where Kpop acts are assigned to tour. I just believe that there should be a little bit more implementations made to cater better to international fans (even if it’s minimally expressed in English in every instance). The marketing just needs to be clearer (along with an explanation as to why), and as I’ve said, some fans don’t ask WHY. Maybe it all comes down to ignorance, intercultural communication (this is important), and ethnocentrism from either end. My main reservations are regarding the communication and marketing. And I think from some US fans this is where some of the complaints stem from.

It may all just come down to polycentrism at this point (regarding how Kpop acts promote in the US, Japan, SEA, and Korea). Which means for the Kpop industry (when looking at is as a firm and business, which it is), polycentrism doesn’t work.

So, as long as companies continue to overwork the Kpop groups and artists and market them as though they’re a perfectly manufactured package instead of human beings, then there won’t be any changes regarding anything else wrong in Kpop and its marketing outside (which can be anything). I wanted to explore why Americans feel entitled to getting a tour, and why there can’t be an explicitly stated reason for why Seventeen won’t be touring in the US (if that’s actually the case). I even think it’s unfair to put only Americans in that boat of crybabies and whiners, although I did see someone put Koreans in there too...I’m sure there are more countries guilty of entitlement (in more or less obvious ways).

Seriously, Japan aside, I don't get why people think Seventeen needs to prioritize the US all the time. If we're even to talk demography, the most populated countries in the world are China, India, US, Indonesia, and Pakistan. Regardless of Seventeen's market, do people actually realize how big Asia really is......

Always annoyed at people for saying shit when kpop idols don't push the US agenda lol

K

most usamericans are used to being the center of the universe and always being catered towards so when they're not they throw a temper tantrum ¯\_(ツ)_/¯