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#fake or temporary or something that isnt going to last
spiritmoon23 · 5 months
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actually the tangible prospect of my gf moving in w me in our own apartment is so euphoric i might actually cry
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agaypanic · 1 year
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Hey could I request a klaus x reader where the reader is around his age and works for VFD (as a singer for her cover but is actually someone who charms people for information yk) but is like super lonely because all their attention isnt really/longterm but klaus and the reader fall in love anyway ( also if you could add him confessing at like a masquerade ball but the reader almost gets killed by count olaf kinda like the lemony and Beatrice flashback ) sorry for the long and specific request
The Siren and The Bookworm (Klaus Baudelaire X Reader)
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Summary: As a siren, all the attention you received was fake or short lived. But your new partner proves to be an outlier.
A/N: Klaus and reader have been working for the VFD for a few years, so they’re in their early twenties. Count Olaf didn’t die at the end of the series. Klaus confesses after the ball instead of during it. Also based off of the ball scene from Cruella. One more also, this is my last ASOUE fic!!! So I hope you enjoy
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It felt simple, almost fun working for the VFD. Given your unique ability, you did much of your work and investigation at parties. You were a singer, but you had a certain charisma that made you able to get anyone to tell you anything. You loved it; the attention, the trust. 
But it never lasted. It was always temporary. When you were done getting the information you needed, you’d move on, and the person you had talked to would forget all about you and your conversations. But at least you always had the stage to return to, your one constant.
Although it felt easy, VFD work was sometimes dangerous. So, after a few minor incidents of being followed or getting found out, the VFD assigned you a partner to accompany you on missions and such. His name was Klaus Baudelaire, the son of the late VFD alumni Bertrand and Beatrice Baudelaire. A lot of the time, when you were undercover, he acted as your bodyguard. This amused you because he was better at reading about defensive strategy than practicing it. But it was still nice to have his company. 
You were first assigned to each other a few months ago. It was strange to form an actual relationship with someone. But after some time, you two became best friends despite your differences. The characters you portrayed accurately depicted your true selves in a way. You were known as The Siren, where being charming and open was just as important as your voice when you were put in front of the microphone. And when Klaus joined the VFD, he was lovingly nicknamed The Bookworm, for his mind was like an endless library that constantly desired to be filled.
You knew you shouldn’t get close. Eventually, he’d be like everyone else, a distant memory. But knowing that didn’t stop you from falling.
You were getting ready in your hotel room when Klaus came in. He was practically itching to leave, because this mission was especially important to him. The VFD had heard whispers of someone who was finally seen after years of hiding. And after years of attempts, he was seen in the limelight. Klaus knew this man all too well, and because of his stories, it felt like you knew him just as personally.
Count Olaf was now known as a talented and famous theater actor, instead of a murderer, kidnapper, and child endangerer. You don’t know how he did it. From Klaus’ stories, Count Olaf seemed to completely lack any sort of talent beyond fooling foolish adults with disguises. You and Klaus couldn’t understand why people were so favorable to him now, but you guessed that it had something to do with the fame and people having their opinion of someone so easily swayed.
The VFD wanted Count Olaf put away once and for all, which was why you were getting ready to go to a press event in his honor and why Klaus was practically about to push you out of your chair and into the car.
“Y/n, please hurry. The car’s here.” You couldn’t blame Klaus for his excitement. He had been wanting revenge on Count Olaf since he was first placed in his care. And although Klaus wasn’t a violent person, he was itching for justice to be served in any sense possible.
“I’m almost done, Klaus, I promise.” You sighed, applying a final touch of lipstick before standing from your chair. As you moved, you felt your dress was looser than it should’ve been and realized it wasn’t zipped. “Klaus, can you zip me up?”
“Uh, yeah.” If you were paying closer attention, you would’ve seen that he had a harsh blush on his cheeks and was about to choke on his spit when he answered you. But you were too focused on the tasks ahead of you. He zipped your dress up, being gentle in a way like he was almost scared to touch you. But you didn’t comment on it. “Ready?” You turned to see an outstretched hand. You took it, and the two of you made your way down to the car provided by the VFD.
“You remember the plan?” You asked as the driver took you to your destination. You fiddled with the ring on your pinky as you thought about it. This was probably the most risky mission you had participated in in all your years working for the VFD.
“Yes.” Of course, Klaus remembered the plan; he remembered everything. “And you’ll be okay.” He grabbed your hand and squeezed it tightly to emphasize what he had said. It wasn’t a question; it was a statement. A fact. Even though what’s supposed to happen hasn’t happened yet, Klaus believed that everything would work out perfectly. Despite the series of unfortunate events that he had to endure in his child, he was such an optimist at times. 
“I’ll be okay.” You repeated after him. If you said it enough times, it was sure to be true.
Count Olaf resided in a mansion on a cliff. The drive to the estate was long, and the view was incredible from any part of the property you stood on. Clearly, he was doing well for himself.
When the driver stopped in front of the mansion, littered with guests coming in and hanging around the entrance, Klaus stepped out first before reaching for your hand to help you out of the car. Immediately there were murmurs and gasps as the lights touched your face. It was funny how your undercover persona was more known than the person you actually were. It seemed very counterintuitive. Count Olaf’s doorman greeted you and Klaus when you reached the doors.
“Ms. Hent, it’s such an honor. The Count will be most pleased by your arrival.” He smiled at you and then glanced at your partner. “And this is?”
“This is my bodyguard, and plus one. I don’t go anywhere without him.” You grinned, signaling for Klaus to introduce himself.
“Hembro Kotow, how do you do?” It was Klaus’ idea to use anagrams to form your identities. And it was your idea to use your nicknames for each other to turn into anagrams because if someone could unscramble your fake names, they still wouldn’t know your real ones. So you, The Siren, were also Ires Hent. And Klaus the Bookworm was Hembro Kotow. Klaus felt somewhat ashamed about the idea because he had gotten it from Count Olaf and his antics from when he’d chase him and his siblings around for their fortune. He hated that he had learned something actually useful from the crazed lunatic.
Before you knew it, you were on the stage in the main room, because of course Count Olaf would have a stage in his house. As you sang, you scanned the crowd to find your host. Everyone was masked because Count Olaf seemed to love secret identities. You and Klaus didn’t participate in the masquerade part of the ball, because the vital part of your undercover work was to be seen.
After a few songs, you found him chatting it up with a guest by the doors that lead to the back courtyard. As you sang the final note, the crowd turned their attention to you and started to applaud, Count Olaf being one of them. He smirked, and although you were disgusted, this was part of the plan. You nodded to Klaus, and he accompanied you on your journey through the sea of people.
“I’ll give you five minutes with him before I send everyone out,” Klaus whispered, hand pressed to the small of your back to guide you. “And I’m being very gracious by giving you that much time.”
“Five minutes is all I need.” You whispered back. “And stop worrying; I’ll be okay.”
“You’ll be okay.” He repeated softly.
“Count Olaf, it’s such a pleasure to finally meet you.” You gave a sweet smile to the man when you finally reached him. He immediately brushed off whoever he previously talked to and focused on you. He grabbed your hand, and you pretended to be delighted when he kissed the back of it.
“Believe me, Ires Hent, the pleasure is all mine.”
“This is such a beautiful home. Absolutely magnificent.” 
“Perhaps you’d like to see more of it?”
“I’d love to.” You linked your arm with his and gave Klaus a nod that said, ‘I’ll be right back, don’t follow me,’ and although this was all part of the plan, he wished he didn’t have to leave you alone with Count Olaf. “Could we see the ocean first?”
“Of course.” Count Olaf led you out of the mansion, and the two of you walked through the courtyard to get to the edge of the cliff that was fenced off by cobblestone structures. “Who was that man you’re with? He seemed familiar.”
You tried not to panic. After all, Count Olaf hadn’t seen Klaus in years, and he had grown up and matured a lot since their last meeting. Or at least you hoped. 
“Oh, just my bodyguard, Hembro. He came from Canada a few months ago.”
“So why isn’t he here now, guarding you?”
“I don’t necessarily think you’re someone I should be guarded from.” There was a flirtatious tone in your voice, even though you wished nothing more than to be away from this man. Count Olaf smirked, and soon, you two were looking out at the sea. “This view is absolutely marvelous.”
“It really is.” Count Olaf sighed, glancing at you. You caught it and had to play along. 
“Very handsome.” You said, turning to lean against the fencing while facing him. You played with the lapel of his suit jacket, wishing it was someone else’s. It was bad enough that he was so much older than you, but the fact that you knew of all the things he had done, especially towards someone you care so deeply about? It made you sick to your stomach. You hated having to act so pleasantly toward a monster. But it would all be over soon. He gripped your hips to pull you closer. “You wanna know a secret?”
“Oh, how I love secrets.” You leaned forward to put your mouth to his ear. In the distance, you saw Klaus talking to different groups of people inside, gesturing to the courtyard. Slowly but surely, they started gathering outside.
“Well, this is a good one.” You took a deep breath, preparing yourself for the inevitable. “The VFD found you, and they’re ready to put you away for everything that everyone else had forgotten about.”
“What?” He hissed, squeezing you tighter. You tried not to grimace from the slight pain. You had to stay strong and confident. “Who the hell are you, and what do you know about the VFD?” You decided to not answer that question.
“I guess it was a mistake to chase the spotlight, Count Olaf. Now the only light you’ll be seeing is from a jail cell.” He turned you around quickly, pushing your body against the stone barrier. 
“I don’t think so, Darling.” He said with a sick grin. You gulped. “I think it’s time for you to see what you wanted to see.”
“Which is?” You asked, trying to wiggle your way out of his grip.
“The ocean.” His grip was soon off your body, and you were free-falling off the side of the cliff. The last thing you heard was gasps of horror before your plummet took you too far down to see or hear anything else.
Count Olaf turned around, shocked for once that he had an audience. His guests looked at their host in horror, murmuring about how they just watched the Count push the famous Siren off his cliff.
“What?” He glanced back, realizing what they had seen. “She jumped. Everyone, I know how distressing this must seem. But Ms. Hent was deranged, threatening to take me with her.” He was putting on the performance of a lifetime, but it wasn’t to convince the audience this time. “She jumped.”
But they didn’t believe him. Soon, the police (who were secretly VFD agents) came and arrested Count Olaf for the murder of Ires Hent. He screamed as he was being dragged off, talking about how it wasn’t what it looked like and how he was innocent.
Klaus sighed as he walked to the car that had returned to pick him up. He prayed you were okay, even though he knew you were. After all, this was all part of the plan.
Knowing the layout of Count Olaf’s party and his murderous tendencies, the VFD had fashioned you a gown that was both expensive looking and practical for getting thrown at sea to your death in. The skirt’s volume hid the fact that it could also be used as a parachute. You were able to guide yourself into the water, close enough to the shore that you wouldn’t risk getting pulled back into the sea. You insisted to the VFD (more Klaus than anyone else) that you could make your way back to the hotel on your own, and to not send a car for you to avoid the risk of drawing attention. Using VFD tunnels beneath the city, you secretly made it to the hotel. When you opened the door to your room, you were squeezed and lifted in the air.
“Oh, thank God.” Klaus sighed, keeping you close to him as he rested his head against yours. “I knew you’d be okay, but then the minutes kept passing, and I kept thinking the worst.”
“I’m okay.” You combed your fingers through his hair which seemed to help calm him. You pulled him away from nuzzling further into you to press your forehead to his. “We’re both okay.”
“We’re okay.” He repeated, still refusing to let you go. He needed the comfort of knowing you were still alive, and you’d be a fool to deny both him and yourself that. He put a hand on the side of your face, stroking your cheekbone with his thumb. He pulled away just enough to look at you. It was like he wanted to say something, ask you something. But he didn’t know how.
Even though he was the Bookworm, you knew how to read him. “Please.” The simple word drove him forward, pressing his lips to yours and pulling you as close to his body as physically possible. The kiss had so many unsaid words: ‘Thank God you didn’t die,’ ‘I’ve been in love with you for quite some time,’ ‘Never do something so crazy and risky like that again because I can’t lose you.’ Yet none of the words had to be said. Deep down, you had both known for a while. It just needed almost dying to confirm it all.
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topconfessions · 3 years
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[ask] would you want to be an idol?
80% yes. Unlike many I am going to give an extremely unpopular opinion: I love the fact that kpop is a strict system that promotes and puts a certain behavioral standard on idols like tbh if I was an idol it would be perfect for me in the sense that I am very private person, shy at heart ( I'm not as shy and socially awkward as I used to be but I am very INFP / INFJ last I checked, I may have to take the test again) and not desperate for attention to that degree so there would not be any pressure on me to expose myself like how american pop stars have to keep up antics and overshare to be "Relatable to their fans" kpop isnt about that. In a way it is...but isn't? Honestly
you guys will shit on me for this maybe but why doesn't the industry in Korea have a global idol contest? like dude it would be either disaster or lit (I pray lit LOL) to do an experimental project where it's like produce 101 and all that BUT from a handful of states in America and sectors in Canada, they allow regular people to audition like non asians completely who are least under 32 to be an idol. It'll be like a long intense but fun competition process and they are auditioning and competing to be like where Alex from Rania was in a way, but the role will be more serious and the american would be an equal part of the girl / boy group. They'll be paired with teachers to learn korean if they wish and go through challenges. Then the crowd votes along with passing judges tests / votes and then towards the finals they all travel back to Korea or wherever to do a show or do a song they all came up with on Inkigayo or Show champion and it's a special episode then whoever wins that wins the whole thing?
and become a temporary group for like 6 months or a year and if they do well they stay a group, the american can leave and go back home or sign with them individually etc. YOU GET WHERE I'M GOING WITH THIS? LMAO IF THEY DID SOMETHING LIKE THIS DESPITE BEING 27 NOW I'D AUDITION IDGAF I could pass for a mixed asian if need be and have no issues with pale skin since the burn left some discoloring I need to whiten out anyways. But if that was ever a thing like "now is your chance to become a kpop idol" I would do it.
but as I was saying you are either yourself 100% just 10x or half of who you truly are or an image with bits and pieces of your real self or just 100% fake with an image / character. Although it tire me out possibly (if I got stuck with a character / image that I didn't ask for / can't naturally do) I would feel secure and happy about knowing I am playing a role, I am doing an image and who I truly am as a person and my private information is factored in to whether I get fed or not with my check. Like for instance, as an idol let's be 100 - you are there to entertain, make the fans happy, make them find something special in you and stan you and develop a good working relationship with your group / person if you're in a duo (only yourself and another person*) as well as put the best of yourself out there. Sure it has ups and downs, it will never be easy like we learned over the past 6 years with all the tea spilled & scandals, but that is purely it. You don't have much more expected of you other than that. (I am not accounting the general things like weight, beauty, etc. thats another topic). Like you aren't expected to embody the music you put out and what you right on a realistic level if that makes sense?
I would be able to show up, work, do what I gotta do, and stress or not, go home and not worry about having to devluge much about myself or my fans being fickle if I slipped up like American fans these days. Also virgin or not, whatever my sexual status and dating status is It's not imperative nor a part of my job. There is no pressure on me in life to date or be deemed a weirdo or loser cause I'm not seeing someone and if I do date and fall in love then I'd be an idol who would like be genuine with fans and present it in a way to groom the fans to accept it and support us unless it's a fuck buddy then I gotta be careful ROTFL. I've already endured mountains of hell in my life and know what hard work is so the stress level of it wouldn't get to me unless I was expected to have good vocals and looked online seeing fans get on me about that. I'd either be a rapper in the group or like dara from 2ne1, a super pretty girl with barely there vocals that is cute enough to hang LOL.
I'd be a very much a dara, jisoo, suzy, hyuna, T.O.P hyrbid LOL. I would probably be the leader cause I have that grit and leadership (even when I don't want to lead) to do it and at least try to do some self choreographer in there. It would be simple, the complex stuff we'd hire a pro for LOL.
all in all I'd be holding my fandom very accountable and I'd be that rare idol who ALWAYS likes what fans send me, comments, reply back to them as much as I can and give them content when I can.
But I can't dance for shit in real life nor sing so Idk I wouldn't be able to make it into a group unless strings were pulled or they kept me as a token foreginer / pretty girl cause of my height, skin-tone and beauty LOL. I'm very tall in RL. It would just be a struggle for me in the sense that I don't take shit from people so I'd be checking hosts a lot like Heechul and them on radio star or whatever if they tried me. I'd have to keep track of birth control or go back to the states often to get that shot for 3months cause I would geniunely hook up with a lot of idols if they approached me idc LMAO. I want to be that idol who is like suzy and transitions into movies and dramas.
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The words dont usually come out right but whatever.
For the past 3 years all I've fucking done is try to be good to people. I tried to do things for people. I tried to make people feel loved and cared for. I tried to make people feel beautiful. I never fucking feel those things. I put on a mask and be what people need me to be. I dont have the kinds of connections with people where I can ask to stay over or vent to someone when I desperately need it. I've never had a functioning relationship and I can partially take credit for that. I'm strong in a sense and weak in most others. I'm fragile and short tempered. But that's just because everytime I really care for someone, like really care for someone they take advantage of me or just leave. In my experience theres always going to be someone better, and that's okay, right? Because if I really cared I'd want them to have better. I feel selfish for having these feelings but really isnt it normal to want to have people in your life who care? I'm just shitty I guess.
The people who really got to know me know what I mean. I've recently started to sleep around hoping I can maybe fill some of the void that's slowly made it's way inside me over the last 3 years but it just numbs it temporarily and then I'm left with the realization that I'm wasting my time with these pointless flings. I'm just hurting myself more. Its like when you go to a store and get a sample of something and you think "hey I should buy some more of this" but for some reason the guy just kinda says "nah no more for you" I doubt that's a good metaphor but whatever. I'm tired of falling with nobody there to catch me. Youd think by know I'd learn to catch myself or at least brace for the fall but I'm not there yet. I dont really know if I'll ever actually get there. I'm an overweight woman. Yeah whatever. I've lost weight, which is a real good plus to my health, and every day I'm fighting to bring that number down more. It hasnt really been an issue to my mental health since high school as I've dated off an on and had a few lasting relationships. But it does take a toll on making new relationships because people do get their impressions and that's fine. We all do.
I'm just scared that things will never change. That will be a slave to my illness forever. That everyday I'm getting closer to either an impulsive accidental death or just a mental breakdown that gets me sent away for good. I'm afraid of myself lately. I'm afraid of what I might say or do. I have nightmares that are literally me just rambling on to someone and them being annoyed. Silly right? Not to me. It definitely makes me aware that I talk to much, I overshare or that I'm just boring. Ever since the 3rd grade I knew I was annoying but I was just told "its nor your fault its your illness"
Is my illness who I am? Am i just a reflection of my parents bad DNA cursed to live a boring lonely worthless life? I fucking hope not but it's a scary thought that'll keep me up at night.
I dont openly talk about the fact that I have BPD to most people. But when i do they say they understand and care.
All i have to say to those people is, where are you now? Are you happier without me? I'm sorry..
Sometimes I sit awake until 8am just imaging fake scenarios in my head. I'm happy then. I feel safe in my head in those times. Almost as safe as I felt last year. Maybe this is all the bad karma catching up to me. Who am I to say? Can I keep up this act everyday? When will I wake up and just not be able to do my day to day things? I already cant fucking clean my own apartment, when will I stop going to work? Stop eating? It's happened before and I dont want to do it again. I want to be strong and believe that good things happen to those that wait but I dont really know when the last time a good thing happened to me. I guess if you want to count the people who are gone then maybe. Temporary happiness has helped but its not a cure all.
I just hope one day I meet someone who cares enough to stay. That's happy to see me and happy to hear me. I hope that person sees me for who I am and I can be myself and express myself without worry. I hope that person loves me the way I'll love them. And I hope that one day I will wake up and I wont be worried anymore. That my worries will be "what color should we paint the bathroom" or "what should we make for dinner"
I yearn for the simple things in life but in my experience I guess nothing is really simple. Some people just get a better hand at life. It's wrong of me to be jealous but I just cant help myself sometimes. I'd like a happy life. I'd like to be okay some day.
Maybe.
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When i was 13, i found out that men can and do become women. That there was a word for the way i felt inside: transgender. All i had to do in order to be who i am is reach out to the right people, seek help and support.
However, it isnt always so easy. Our world judges people like us in alot of scenarios, and for a kid who just wanted to live her best little life that was a scary concept. So i hid it, i did well until i was 15 and 16. My dad and my stepmom went through my room, twice. On both occasions they found womens clothing, which i would quite often wear to bed cause i felt so soothed by the soft fabric. I had leggings, and panties, and a sports bra, and a white tank top the first time. Even back then i always loved the way leggings hugged my lower half, and how relaxing and comfortable sleep was in them. Back then it was a source of comfort, i "dressed up" in order to cull the anxiety i had from putting on this mask every day. It was killing me.
I made fun of, i bullied my own kind, i bullied the LGBTQ community as a whole. I did it because i wanted to distance myself from my own identity, and cause i was jealous of other trans women who were already in their transitions and living their best lives!! I became a homophobic, misogynistic asshole to just get away from it, and to make sure nobody would ever expect it. I hate that period of my life, i look back on it in deep shame.
But then one day i moved into a place that i would eventually feel safe in. I was 18 now, and just starting to really get worn down by drugs and mental illness. But i turned around there, and i got really close to the staff at this group home. They supported me like my parents would, even though they were a different nationality and spoke bad english i felt closer to the group home workers than almost anyone else. They talked me down when i was mad or crying. They helped me get further in life. I had thoughts of coming out one day, and how i could probably do it both in vancouver and in this house. I had thoughts of how it would go. Who to tell first, it raged in my head for a couple weeks. But one day i was with my therapist, we were driving around and i had just gotten a cheddar bacon angus burger from mcdonalds with a vanilla bean frappuccino to drink. But before i could eat, my stomach wouldnt let me go on without telling my therapist whats really going on.
"I dont know how to say this ashley, but its been on my mind since i was 13 and ive planned out the whole process in my head already! Im fucking trans, im a woman, i want to be a girl and im tired of putting on this rough and tough mask just to try and fit in and be a man!! Im tired of rough, i want soft!! I want to have boobs!! I want to have nice long legs with thick hips! I want to see the sparkle come back to my eyes! I want to see my smile have happyness behind it, and not nothing, im tired of faking it!! Im scared, i could never do this around my dad, or in kelowna!! But ive got a fresh start in this city, and i know i can do it with the supports i have!! Everything i did was to please someone else, and i tried to be the best man i could to hide it.. im not a man though, im a happy, beautiful girl and im tired of hiding her!!"
That was 2017, in the spring. I was a drug addict back then, and i lived full time as a girl for 3 whole months!! Although i was so happy, and felt so comfortable in my skin i couldnt handle it once i lost my supports on top of my addiction.
On september 14th 2017, i buried Jenna for a while. I felt so horrible, even rhough i knew it was temporary i didnt know how temporary it would be. I was scared to be a boy now, and i felt even more dysphoric full well knowing the result of transitioning and the improvements to my mental health. Burying jenna was burying who i am. It couldn't last long, and once i got sober on december 15th 2018, and got myself into a safe space again in march. By late april i couldnt hold jenna inside me anymore, she needed out, jenna needed to bloom and grow big and strong!! I came out a second time to my mother and my grandmother who were both as accepting as two people who know no trans people aside from me can be. It went well, i told them it was time for me to resume my transition.
They were there for me when i reached out to Skipping stone, and got hooked up with a gender therapist. By august i had a date for when i would start hormones, october 9th 2019. On october 9th i was tense, i just wanted it to go right. I even had a little freakout in my appointment at my phone. But, after driving an hour and half each way, i walked out of my doctors office still in boy mode, but with a script for cyproterone and estradiol!! I started that night!!
When i started hrt, i was a different person in two weeks, i wasnt jayden, i was jenna. I acted way more feminine, my skin got softer, my erogenous zones changed, my voice got higher, my testicles shrunk. The feminization process had begun! I had emotional breaks here and there, and it hasnt been easy all the time. But my bad days today are still better than my best days when i was playing a character, acting as jayden. Today when i get sad, i put on something cute, and i take some cute pics and i look at them. I love it when i can honestly say, i love the way im changing. How my face lost the wrinkles of 5 years of bad habits in two months!! How my breasts are here and so so sensitive, i feel them moving on my chest and theyre like little stress sacks there for me to squeeze and hold when im feeling down!! I love the feeling of weight on my chest, and the jiggle when i walk or hit bumps on my bike! My medical transition so far is destroying any bit of my dysphoria!
I think trans is beautiful, because theres something just so positive, so god damn enlightening and beautiful. About one mans journey to woman. My body is changing, its curves being accentuated, its features becoming more noticeable by the day. I feel so much joy when i see a change, when i notice my body looks feminine. Or when i get compliments, like "my god youve got legs for days!!" It makes me know for a fact i chose right, cause im a beautiful girl, going through this beautiful process with beautiful changes.
Jenna jayde is a girl, i wasnt born a girl, but i make a better girl than i ever could have a boy. Wearing clothes that make me happy, and feel hugged all over from the soft tight fabric. Feeling emotions i never thought existed after a while on hrt!
Its so beautiful, like a sunflower swaying slightly in the summer breeze!
Life is better now, its worth standing up and fighting for.
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Woot woot!! Its trans positivity jenna!! Woot woot!!
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spoopytickles · 6 years
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Making up for lost time
Summary- Sleeping for 2,000 years has made Esidisi particularly needy. And with Wham out doing gods know what, Esidisi and Kars have plenty of time to fool around.
A/n- I feel like everyone’s super out of character here but at this point I can’t bring myself to care, this took way too long.
Words-2,248
Two thousand years. It had been two thousand years since Esidisi had last seen Kars’ face. He was unconscious for all of it, and even if he had been awake, for a pillar man two thousand years should have felt like the blink of an eye. But it didn’t, for him it felt like an eternity. Love had its ways of changing one’s perception. He longed for the warmth of Kars’s skin against his own. It was disgusting.
After escaping the confines of the colosseum the three pillarmen had settled down in a cave not to far from Rome. Wham went off on his own soon after they arrived. His blood still boiled with shame from being injured by a hamon user. His absence didn’t bother Esidisi or Kars in the slightest. They needed to decide a course of action, and in this state Wham would simply interfere with their thought process.
Without their eldest, most reckless son the two pillarmen were free to make themselves at home. Esidisi and Kars sat inches from each other in front of a small fire. Esidisi carried enough heat to warm the both of them, but the light was pleasant. After so long being contained by the light of a false sun, the familiar firelight was comforting. Though he had other things on his mind, Esidisi was the first to bring up the red stone of aja.
“Do you believe the super aja may still be in Italy? A stone can travel far in two thousand years.”
“I do. Seeing as the hamon users were in possession of the aja before our hibernation, and that there are still hamon users left here, it is entirely possible.”
“And what of the new hamon users?” Esidisi questioned.
“They pose no threat to us. Anyhow I suppose I’ll let you and Wham play your trivial games with the hamon user called Jojo before we resume our search.”
Esidisi let out a surprised gasp, “Trivial? Kars, dear, it is tradition! If Wham believes this ‘Jojo’ to be a worthy foe then I wish to experience his abilities for myself.” Kars turned to face his husband. The firelight made the red of his eyes seem to glow.
“It is childish. Did we not leave such foolish rituals behind when we abandoned the sun fearing ways of our brethren?” His tone was flat but it was clear he meant no ill will by his remarks.Esidisi forced a frown before laughing and pulling Kars into his lap.
“Look at us, this is the first time we’ve been truly together in two thousand years and here we are quarreling! That is more foolish than any tradition will ever be!” Esidisi peppered Kars’ face with kisses, planting one on the tip of his nose before pulling back to admire his work. Kars sat there trying to keep himself from smiling. Sadly try as he might he still had a goofy grin plastered across his face which made Esidisi’s heart flutter. Tens of thousands of years together and still Kars could kill him with nothing but a smile. So long and yet he hasn’t change at all.
Kars squirmed about in his husband’s arms. Desperately trying to redirect him to the task at hand. “We will have time for this sort of behavior after-“ Esidisi cut him off. Standing up with Kars still in his arms, he interjected,
“Ah! But will the time not be there if we take tonight to just be?” Kars finally caved, this unusually clingy mood didn’t seem to be going anywhere. No point in protesting. If Esidisi had his mind set on something, in most cases he would get it one way or another.
“Certainly indulging for one night could do no harm.” He was right, of course. He had an annoying tendency to be right about these sorts of things. One night out of an eternity was nothing. Kars nodded, and Esidisi set about finding a more comfortable place to cuddle. Oh how Kars wished he had more willpower when it came to that man.
Esidisi sat down against the wall of the cave. Setting Kars down gently in his lap, like a porcelain doll. He returned to covering his lovers face with kisses as his hands found their way into his hair. “Is there a reason for this, or has hibernating for two thousand years simply driven you mad?” Kars asked pointedly.
Esidisi withdrew himself for a moment, thinking. “If I’m to be frank,I love you and I’ve missed you.” Quite the charming sentiment.
“And I you, Esidisi,” Kars punctuated this statement with a peck on the lips, “however I can assure you we will have forever together once we release ourselves from the moon’s bonds with the help of the super aja.”
Esidisi frowned. It seemed Kars hadn’t changed either. He was still as obsessed with his work as he had been when they first met. “You focus too much on your work, love. Please, just tonight, then we can worry about the aja.” Kars rested his head against his lover’s chest. He wasn’t going to win this one.
“I don’t have a say in the matter, do I?”
Esidisi grinned. “Not at all.” He wondered what else had remained the same.
Esidisi resumed his prior barrage of affection, clasping one of Kars’ hands in his own. As he placed gentle kisses on each of Kars’ knuckles his other hand absentmindedly traced the muscles of Kars’ back. He all but melted into the touch. As awful as it was to admit, maybe he needed this as much as Esidisi. Just maybe. Not that he would ever say it.
Kars had found himself with toying with Esidisis thick curls when the sensation of a finger being dragged down the length of his spine made him jump. Esidisi stared at him with wide eyes.
“Are you alright, Kars? The hamon users didn’t manage to injure you, did they?” Kars was taken aback by the assumption that he could be wounded by a simple human.
“Of course not! I’m just not used to being touched quite yet, that’s all. You know how it can be to return to life after such a long period of rest.” Esidisi blinked at him, but returned to what he was doing without question. At that moment he had been struck with a brilliant idea to keep Kars from thinking about the aja.
Esidisi shifted his focus from Kars’ face to his neck. Internally Kars groaned, of course he had forgotten about this. The pillarmen were nearly impervious to pain yes, but the gods had played a cruel trick creating them. They were just as sensitive to tickling as any human could be. He prayed this inconvenience would be remedied by the aja. It would be thoroughly unfitting of an ultimate life form to be ticklish.
Esidisi pressed a trail of kisses down the length of kars’ jaw and Kars finally cracked, letting out a near inaudible snort before catching himself and regaining composure. Esidisi looked up at him, this time a smile spread across his face.
“If I may ask, dear. What’s so funny?” Shit. “I’m only trying to please you, if you’re not enjoying this I can stop.” Kars’ internal monologue was running a mile a minute, Keep your cool Kars, if you’re nonchalant maybe he’ll just forget this.
“No! Nothing like that. I told you, I’m just not adjusted to being touched so... delicately, yet. I won’t repeat myself again.” There goes nonchalant. It was pointless. Kars knew Esidisi could read him like a book. It was a talent he’d had as long as he could remember. He also knew that Esidisi knew exactly how sensitive he was. Damn him.
“Hm, of course, in that case you won’t mind if i continue.” Esidisi laughed to himself as he raked his nails down Kars lower back, making him writhe in his arms. He relished in the way Kars tried to contain himself. “You know, if you’re still interested in talking about things which are foolish, I find this weakness of yours comical. Even more foolish is that you’re still trying to hide it. It’s not like I don’t know, so you might as well just give up.” Esidisi moved his hands to kars stomach, carefully tracing patterns onto his soft skin. That was the last straw. Kars threw his head back, dissolving into deep, breathy laughter.
“C-cease this ahahat once Esidisi! T-that is an ordeheher!” Esidisi hummed, still playing with Kars’ abs.
“I don’t think I will. Forgive me but I think you look quite nice this way. And hearing your genuine laugh certainly isnt hurting either.” He moved his hands up, digging into his ribs, resulting in a loud squeal from Kars.
“I’ll kihihihill you!” Esidisi kissed kars’ forehead as he continued to knead his ribs
“Oh no you won’t. You love me!” Esidisi stilled his hands as a thought entered his head. “At least I think you do.”
“You know, I don’t think you’ve said you loved me since we’ve woken up. I’m a bit hurt honestly!” He let out a sob, and honestly Kars couldn’t tell if he was faking. “I don’t think I’ll stop this until you say you love me. How does that sound?” He grinned at Kars, his apparent kindness belied what he was about to do. As a strategist Esidisi could be completely wicked if he so chose, and in his eyes now Kars recognized a spark few lived through seeing. Kars eyes went wide, he was trapped.
“Esidisi are you a child? This is ridiculous and you know it!” As he said this Esidisi went in for the attack. He began tickling Kars with a new vigor, sending him into a fresh bout of laughter. Kars weakly grabbed at Esidisi’s wrists. Any other time the two would have been on equal footing, but in this state Kars could barely put up a fight. All he could do was thrash in ticklish agony.
Maybe agony was a stretch. Sure this could be humiliating but it certainly wasn’t unpleasant. If Esidisi was enjoying himself then maybe he should too. He hadn’t had the luxury of play as a child, this was just making up for lost time. There’s an excuse for everything after all.
Esidisi squeezes Kars hips, causing him to squirm particularly violently. He kicked into the wall of the cave, knocking loose some rubble. Esidisi stopped what he was doing immediately, looking concerned. Kars was teary eyed, and had just kicked a dent in their temporary home. Maybe he had gone too far.
“I- I didn’t harm you did I? I’m sorry I forget that you aren’t as open to affection as me. It was stupid of me to-“
Kars could feel Esidisi’s distress from a mile away, even if he tried to mask it. He sat up and looked him in the eyes. Before he said anything he took a moment to admire Esidisi’s features. His husband really was handsome. A strong nose and sharp eyes. The vibrant purples and oranges painted on his face that now only held meaning to the two of them. The only thing which cut his beauty was the look of dull sadness at the idea that he had hurt his husband in some way. Kars smiled gently at him.
“Don’t look at me that way. You know it is my pleasure to indulge you my dear. Though I may not always say it, I truly do love you Esidisi.” Esidisi’s face softened as Kars hugged him. It had been so long since they had shared a moment like this. So tender, like the world frozen and the only things which kept moving were the two of them. They kissed for a few moments before Kars pulled away.
“You know. Just because I’m not upset doesn’t mean you’re not deserving of revenge. You were ruthless!” To prove his point he gestured to the dent in the cave wall. Esidisi laughted under his breath.
“Ah, well. That’s fair I suppose.” He looked at the ground. “But Wham will probably be back soon! There’s no time for this!” Kars grinned.
“Oh I’ll make time.”
“Now Kars, isn’t this below you? Not too long ago this would’ve been unthinkable.”
“With you my love? I think I’ll survive stooping to this level.”
Kars shaped his hands into claws, sending Esidisi into a fit of anticipatory giggles. One, no, two more beautiful things about him. His smile and his laughter, both blindingly radiant. When Kars made contact Esidisi made no effort to hide his reactions. Like the sun, everything he did was warm and bright and almost too much. The minute Kars’ hands reached Esidisi’s sides he melted into bubbly laughter. Maybe this was childish, but when it was just the him and Esidisi it couldn’t matter less. He wished to spend his eternity here, with the love of his life. No matter how foolish he was.
Wham got back an hour or two before sunrise. He walked in to see his masters disheveled, holding onto one another and laughing softly. He couldn’t tell if they had drifted asleep or were simply too dazed to notice his return, but he left again shortly after. Of course he knew his masters loved each other deeply, but it was rare to see them like this. Whether from fear or awe, Wham couldn’t bring himself to interrupt them. There was something so comfortingly peaceful about the three of them together. In a sense they were the humans might call a family, albeit an unusual one. In the moments just before the dawn he was so grateful that no human could tear them from each other.
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imoutofinfires · 6 years
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Dimittetur Illi~Lee Mark
HI! I am sorry this took literally forever.Hope you enjoy and dont puke:)
MasterList
Genre:Alot of angst (oops) with microscopic fluff.I Honestly wrote this and while adding GIFs I realised that i am soft for mark.And this doesnt seem like i am.
It was the first day back from summer break when it all started. I was new at this school and not everyone was friendly.I had to find my way around everything and ended up sitting alone at lunch, one earphone in and looking around cluelessly at those wild herds of “humans” surrounding me.
One fine rainy day, he walked up to my table, and sat down.I knew of Mark.He was the bad boy getting all the ‘action’ as the kids in Biology explained to me. He was nice to people, innocent and childlike ..or atleast pretended to be. The gesture of sitting at lunch with me everyday became a routine and as he talked to me and laughed ,I fell for him, like the rest.
 One day, I found myself making plans with him to visit one of those temporary carnivals in town and you may even call it a date. It wasn’t anything special, but it felt like it didn’t have to be.We never ran out of anything to talk about, so that’s what we did.It was during this time, I heard the most adorable laugh erupt and I couldn’t help but to smile as wide as possible.I fell for him more, like the rest.
 It was finally time for Halloween , but my pet goldfish had recently passed away.I was in school , lying on the floor with my costume on when tears streamed down my cheeks.Suddenly I felt a figure pulling me towards them and as I looked up , it was him.
“Why are you crying, Mark? And how did you manage to find me? “, I said.
 “I listen to you.”, he said.
I thought about what he said for quite sometime and it was the when the last candy hit the bucket , that I figured it out. He cared.My heart was overflowing with an array of emotions.I fell for him the most, just like the rest.
 I never thought of taking anything forward with Mark. He has a list of beautiful people that he’d rather be with and even though it hurt, I was okay with it.What mattered was that I had him.But that was until winter had set upon , nature displaying its vivid range of whites.Mark and I went for a cup of hot coffee and on our way back , stopped at a local park.The weather was just right for snowflakes to float its way down upon the ground. I examined one on the palm of my hand and as I turned to show him the sight, he stared at me with a small smile to his face.As we walked home,I felt him grab my hand and intertwine our fingers.I looked up to see a red Mark with hope in his eyes looking down at me, the most serious that I had ever seen him. I couldn’t help myself, and leaned towards him.The next thing I knew were his cool gloves enveloping my face and us smiling as we kissed.And that was when I was sure I am in love with Mark Lee, like the rest.
 But all good things, or those seemingly good, must come to an end.I was walking to a nearby shop to buy some groceries when on the way I saw him.I was on my way towards him, when I saw him walking with another one, as he grabbed their arm and looked as red as a tomato with hope in his eyes and as they leaned towards him, he kissed them.The next thing they knew, he was enveloping his hands on their face.As they fell for him, like the rest.The only difference was that I was part of that rest.
 Now, it is the first day back again since summer break.I still eat alone and sometimes get lost in my classes, which usually calls for detention as ‘bunking’.I walked down the hallway as I saw ‘him’ for the first time since he cheated.We made eye contact for a second, but it was broken almost immediately as he tried to step forward. He furrowed his eyebrows as I walked away from him.As if the day couldn’t get worse, I got detention again.I walked to the class and took out my notebook as I began to doodle.Soon I heard a voice that seemed bitterly familiar and I was ready to sprint all the way to my house.Mark looked right at me as he took a seat beside me.He started on to saying something when I turned my head and felt the tears pool up .The teacher, of course had to leave at some point of time and even being in the same room as Mark made me sick to the core.As I glanced past in my memories of the times we had, I don’t know what was it that I did to deserve this heartache.But the truth is that I trusted Mark despite all those once upon a time harsh comments about him, now is it that I truly understand.He never cared.
 I was deep in thoughts of my own , that I didn’t realize when it was that I started sobbing.I felt the chair next to me move and a face appear right in front of me.He looked at me and I saw pools of water in his eyes. His eyes scanned my face, trying to decipher what it was that made me this upset.I felt worthless as I looked at him but I was helpless because it had been so long.My trance was immediately shaken off as he tried to touch my face.I tried to get away from him but he hugged me by my waist , laying his head on my lap as he said,
“Please.Please don’t go. I don’t understand what is it that I have done for you to give me the coldest shoulder.”
It was now that realisation dawned upon me of how furious I was. I scoffed as the anger pooled in my eyes.I got up and as he looked up at me with fake innocence , I said,
“Wow.You really think that I am a fool?Didnt you ever think that I would find out about you cheating on me? Did you even care or was it all just an act? I fell in love with you.I would take a bullet for you and I don’t even receive the basic courtesy of honesty or respect. I am sure you give less of a shit of how I feel but why..what is it that I have ever done to you to be used like a toy ? “
He wiped his overflowing tears as he said,” I am sorry. I never meant to harm you and I know that is probably the dumbest excuse I can ever give you. But I want you to know that I meant everything I said to you. I loved every single moment with you and being with you brought a smile to my face like I had never experienced before. I know you will never believe or trust me ever again, but I can only hope.”
“Why did you do it then? If you “loved” all of it. If you are going to lie then you might as well say something I might believe.”
“What is that supposed to mean? I am truly apologetic.”
“I mean that you telling me that you used me for your sickening satisfaction is the truth. You played me and I fell for it, just like the rest. It makes me feel like shit but as long it’s the truth I –
“No. No that isn’t the truth. Its so stupid and I regretted it the minute it happened. I loved every minute spent with you. I am not lying when I say,I had never felt what I felt when I was with you.I fell for you so hard the moment we started talking on that lunch table, and I tried so hard to just keep cool and be friends with you because I didn’t want you to think I was playing with you.But that day, when you were playing with that snowflake, my heart was pounding and I couldn’t control any longer. The scary part came when we were together, I needed to be with you every day, and I was so scared.I knew I love you but I didn’t know how hard I was in love with you. And I did the stupidest thing ever.To try and get with another person.I tried to do the same things as we did but after we kissed , my heart ached and the next thing I knew was that you were avoiding me.”
 I don’t know what it was that came over me, but I wrapped me arms around his neck and he held me instantaneously. He was shook at my actions.”Please tell me if you are lying right now because this might me the dumbest thing I will ever do.”
He chuckled and said, “Thank you. I am so sorry for what I did , I never want to hurt you like that ever.I love you.”
My heart skipped a beat and I leaned towards him , resting my head on his shoulder .”It’ll take me some time for things to be normal again though.”
He kissed my forehead and nodded.
 I hope my sense of direction improves because detention sucks.
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PS. For the people seeing the second GIF and being like how is this related? It isnt. This GIF cures my depression and makes me happy :)
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0rionz-belt · 4 years
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top 5 ways my brain has bullied me for wanting to lucid dream by proving that nothing i do will help:
5) Texture recognition. a recent example is that in the dream, i sprayed this temporary hair color spray on my hair. as i applied it and went to touch my hair to try to spread it across my hair, i took notice that 1) it made my hair feel sticky and dry and 2) it felt the same way as it did "the last time" (which was in real life).
4) retaining details from my recent waking life. in the same dream as the previous example, it was halloween and i didnt have a costume but kids were at the door. i thought in the dream that i will "just smudge the eyeliner i put on earlier". later in the dream, i went to fidget with my hair and noticed that i was missing a hair tie from the end of my hair. i did indeed go to sleep with eyeliner on and my hair in a pony tail with 3 hair ties
3) Ability to see words, letters, numbers, and physical appearance completely accurately. I can remember a dream in which i read words from a book and even thought in the dream "oh well i can read words so this isnt a dream". mirrors have worked in multiple dreams.
2) False memories and internal dialogue. as ive said in previous examples, i have had internal thoughts in my dreams. i think most people have them but im not sure. the interesting part is the ability to notice things that would suggest i'm dreaming, point them out as being odd, and then moving on. In a similar vein, i will go to places in dreams and think "i remember this place". reactions ranging from feelings of nostalgia to legitimate fake memories have happened.
1) Doing things that most people turn into habits in order to lucid dream. I used to hold my nose to see if i could still breathe or not. i had a dream in which i had to go underwater, and even habitually stated to myself that if i could breathe, then it was a dream. Even knowing that, upon doing the test and realizing i could still breathe, i did not realize i was dreaming.
bonus: outright thinking/saying/being told "this feels like a dream" or "im dreaming". literally had a dream about the apocalypse and sure maybe shooting something only for the bullet to phase through the thing and thinking "damn it, i have to wait for this cutscene to end" should have done it. but no, i later said in the dream that "this is a lucid dream." I acknowledged that i could do anything, but said that i didnt want to and that i just wanted to stop the apocalypse. it was not a lucid dream.
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acefaerie · 7 years
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I think its really understandable that a lot of younger people sort of assuming that somehow not having an attraction to others is seen as a virtue especially by religious groups. 
When i was a teen my lack of interest in relationships was seen by the adults in my life that “oh she is just shy” “she’s been a good girl and focusing on school work” and tbh that was the narrative i told myself.  
except, looking back there was an underlying concern from adults that I was “missing out” on the Ideal Teen Romance TM. I got hints of it when ever I made a new male friend. “Oh he looks like he might be your type.” followed by a hopeful smile. after a while i got the “Its okay if you like girls” because i think by this time my parents had realised “she’s really not that interested in boys is she”.
but these instances were mild, my parents, specifically my mother who is “liberal” mind you, and had many close female friends who were lesbian and bi, kept out of my way. I was doing well at school, i was a “good girl”. So for me i think i get why some young people don’t understand the pressure for people to pair up because when you are in highschool if there is pressure its from peers and generally parents consider you to be “just a late bloomer”. But this is my experience, which was.. 15 years ago, and the world has changed quickly and drastically it may be different for others. It may also be that i am privileged in coming grom a generally accepting family, that is not religious, that would have accepted without question any girls I brought home (in fact i was asked if i wanted to).
My peer group generally either made jokes about my lack of interest or assumed i was gay. the general knowledge around school was i was gay, even my guy friends who never asked me also just.. assumed that was the case. I was lucky in the sense that like my mother most of my friends were either bi themselves and therefore didn’t care or pretty liberal minded. so i was cushioned... except for this one girl Tanya. She was homophobic and hated me because of it, i know this because i overheard her complaining about me one time and it generally was about how she had interpreted any causual friendly touch i had with my other friends as “creepy and weird”. I was forced to spend time with her because one of my “best” friends  was really good friends with her (who we have another story about but its only slightly related to this) and wanted us to hang out all the time. 
Tanya made my last year of highschool hell. She poisoned friends against me, and created a sort of social outcasting that left me without a support group. I was unlucky that a lot of my out bi friends who accepted me dropped out the previous year for various reasons. So i was left with the only people who sort of hung out with me being the largely straight (or closeted best friend who when she did start dating a girl, did so in secretl) acquaintances of those friends, who were easily convinced by Tanya to drop me from the group.
but here is the thing. I never called myself gay, (a am a pan/bi ace yes but at the time the only thing i ever said or did was say “Im not really interested in boys” because I really didnt know what i was) just not being interested  was enough for Tanya. 
besides  my awful experience with Tanya I get why teens think “not being interested” puts a pretty light target on your back. even if my parents were disappointed i didnt experience the “ideal teen romance TM” it wasnt a huge concern. The bullying a recieved from Tanya is also ambigious because she was exactly the kind of bigot who was bigoted against everyone who was different she was basically the epotime of what prejudice people talk about when they talk about the “prejudice tree” where a bigotted person who is biggeted against one thing is bigotted against most things that are different from them.
What was my point. Oh, yes. in highschool the main negative reactions i got were from people sharing frustration and disappointment about me dating (though the “late bloomer” thought pretty much silenced this crowd) and the more aggressive lot who were homophobic and i fit enough of the criteria for them to consider me a target.
The first negative thing, the frustration and disapointment, as an ace i think that has become more impactful the older I have got. The pressure started to hit hard in my twentie. “Something is wrong with you” reactions from people grew the more i became “clearly an adult” Friends who were fine in highschool suddenly treated me like i was a kid who didn’t know anything about anything because “i hadn’t had a relationship or sex what do i know about being an adult”. My parents, though well meaning became more and more worried abut what was wrong with me.
Omg the relief they felt when i had a relationship that lasted two weeks (where i cried the whole time and barely even kissed the person).
relationships and sex are treated by our society as a right of passage for becoming an adult. So its fine to be a late bloomer, but thats what these people think you are “a late bloomer” not fully complete yet, still growing.
my mother who was so supportive in my teens and early twenties started letting her anxiety about me leak through when i spent most of my 20s not even “just single” but actively not looking I think she even once told me she just wanted me to have the experience of a real relationship, after i had one that was online (which was like having one without having to touch a person which i enjoyed, until he came over and there was touching and i didn’t enjoy it as much anymore because both I and he forced me into sexual situations i was not ready for but had been convinced by everyone i knew that that is what you did if you were in a relationship) after him i felt physically ill if i knew a person found me attractive so actively avoided being “too sexy” so people wouldnt.
the first healthy relationship slightly romantic relationship i had was a Queer platonic one, with a woman. Everyone knew we were in love, even my professors. but it remained platonic and honestly helped free me from all the toxic stuff that happened before. Im still incredably close to her. 
at this time though I was in my mid to late thirties, and my families comments had become less “you are too picky” to “Im worried you will never find someone” “you are nearly 30″ “what if you want kids you can’t leave it too late”. 
its all small stuff but it mounts up. its mirco-aggressions that become deafening. Im childish because i don;t like sex i need to grow up, im weird im wrong im mistaken im making my parents sad, why can’t i be who they want me to be, my mother crying because she just wants me to have a special person but never understanding that my QPR WAS my special person because to her that was just a friend, people saying i don’t know what i want, people saying im a loser cos they never see me dating, people telling me they ” think being single is a sign of failure” people telling me that when they call me a prude its an insult and im weird if i dont feel bad for being a prude, people telling me i should be interested, “don’t you find him attractive”, “sex is amazing what do you mean you dont like it”,” i think you are just scared of love”, “you must be a closet lesbian”, “your just a straight faking for attention.” “why are you trying to date normal people isnt there a website for people like you?” “its not our fault there arent many of you”, “your a bad girlfriend if you don’t like kissing he/she will be hurt if you wipe the saliva away or if you say you arent attracted to them”, “you don’t understand what love is” “you are confused” “you are sick, see a doctor”, “you’re abusive,” “ you don;t know what you are talking about”, “your sick, is it a hormone deficiency” “HAH you don’t like sex just get married then you wont get any”, “how can you not feel attracted then,” your abusive if you have sex but not sexually attracted”, “you’re abusive if you dont have sex cos you are with-holding from the other person”, “it's okay if you dont want sex for now know but thats just how relationships progress”, “Why don't you like him he likes you, “” Im worried you are going to be alone for ever” 
The pressure of it used to keep me up at night where i felt i was FAILING everyone i knew because i just couldn't bring myself to feel that way about another person. I became deeply depressed. It was the main reason i considered suicide.
when i finally did enter a relationship again after two years of EVERYONE pushing for it. that pressure stopped in so far as people stopped pressuring me to be with him, but now i feel like i have to pretend to be normal so people will leave me alone, and i feel like part of me is lying to myself.
I worry about falling back into unhealthy patterns where i play the role of girlfriend just so i can stop people from knowing im weird. The only saving grace is this time my partner and I know im asexual. He doesn’t quite understand it but he respects my boundaries. still part of me feels like this relationship is a compromise. he doesn't get it completely even though he tries.  he treats me well and i love him,  Its just getting to this point my twenties were years of me ripping up my insides because of all the things society was saying to me. I felt trapped between the fear of being alone and the fear of having to force myself into a relationship again. 
So i get why young people dont get what negativity you can face for being aro/ace but thats because the virtue of being disinterested is only a virtue if its temporary. and even then don’t underestimate the power of bigots to sniff out a difference to target you for.
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blackrupee · 7 years
Note
Wow your life sounds complicated right now I'm sorry for that. So you aren't gonna have any managers what the fuck? And OH MY GOD I hate when people come in to eat so close to close!!!! ( I work @ zaxbys) if someone is acting passive aggressive I would act even more passive aggressive- make that bitch regret it- regarding the 2 guys: 2 guys is better than no guys:))) wish the first one didn't pressure you though. How did the 2nd one hurt you? - and I care so don't worry about boring me
hi hello would you like to read a novel on my life thanks i talk too much (tldrs at end)
nah like.. we had been managing with a general manager and 3 assistant managers even though we really need 4 so as not to overwork anyone. we recently hired a new one from a corporate arbys (we’re franchised) and two just quit. like i mentioned, theyre not coming back even though the original plan was that their new jobs would be only temporary (6 weeks). sooooo now we have a general manager who only works weekday day shifts, one assistant manager who is relatively new (she had been working at this place for a while but was promoted to manager 6ish months ago) and another who is brand new but still has some experience. they said theyre looking to promote from within initially, but they might have to hire outside people if no suitable potential manager is picked. id love to get manager pay and its not like managers do anything hard so id be WILLING to be a manager..like the whole reason why i got trained on backline was because we have such a big turnover rate with backline people since it fucking SUCKS and i was wanting to be helpful and flexible. so like. thats what i offerred. but one assistant manager was like “lmao all youd do is swear at the customers” and im like bitch when have i ever?? i talk shit about them all the time but ive only sworn IN FRONT OF a customer twice and neither time was it directed at them. but i mean im sitting on a small handful of customer complaints so its not like the gm would even consider me probably. idk dude. i can be nice if you pay me to be nice. but i get paid to do food and do it fast……….so
but yeah literallyyyyyyyyy i have no idea how people can be so??? inconsiderate???? and they dont??? care??? im learning that my contant frustration with people in my personal interactions is due to a disconnect between what i value in  expectations and what actually happens. like. when i go somewhere i already KNOW what i want, so i say it quickly and competently. i preface a lot of my interactions with people im requesting food or services from with “i’m sorry but…”. i phrase things as “could i get” as opposed to “get me” or “i want” which sound HELLA rude tbh. id always have my money ready at the window or the register, im always trying to pay attention and not miss anything or just….be rude in any way bc i know fast food fucking sucks. i know some of the people i interact with probably hate their job as much as i do and i want to be the smallest burden i can be. and it seems like nearly no one else has these same values???? and i dont understand how people can just??? be? so? inconsiderate?
also yes bitch im the queen of passive aggression. literally the night before i was working a short shift and my friend was closing frontline and this bitch was closing drivethrough. i just got the okay to clock out and i was like “bye! have a beautiful night! just know that i love you so much and ive everything ive ever said has always been fake until this point! never meant anything ive ever said until now especially if your name starts with k or ends with ristin (drivethrough girl/the one whos being so difficult is named kristin) but just know that i love you!” and basically being really dramatic and extra as satire.
i guess for context the whole reason she decided to be mad at me was the other night when she was drunk and was like “do you even likeeeeeee meeee i feel like you hateeeee meeee wahh wahh wahhhh” even though im like…..yes bitch i enjoy your company? i joke/use hyperbole/satire/irony/whatever a lot but like occasionally id be like “ey yo you know its all jokes right u know i love u right” just to ensure that she knows but she fucking. ignores it all. i feel like she so desperately WANTS me to hate her and tbh i got fucking sick and tired of hearing her complain all the time about this shit! i fucking hate repeating myself! so sure. if you want me to hate you so fucking much there. i hate you. i fucking hate you so fucking much. like is that what you want to hear? is that validating? are you fucking happy?
its so fucking frustrating
but i will not be held accountable for her decision to be upset. because thats what it is. she wants to be upset, and she wants me to be responsible for it when its literally not my responsibility. i am absolutely not going to stand for this shit like i kind of want to say its emotional abuse lmaooo but im just so fucking sick of it. 
everyone knows that i take chicken tenders and turnovers that would be thrown out at the end of the night and she was closing frontline yesterday and made a point to throw out the turnovers right next to me without asking if i wanted any/leaving any for me. i mean i completely expected her to be that petty of a bitch so it was kind of funny tbhonestly. also im p sure she unfollowed me here lmaoo
with regards to the guys and this paragraph could get a bit tmi/nsfw: yeah the first one kind of sucked but i feel like a little bit of the New Person Nerves have worn down so id do better if we were to hookup again. because like i totally would love to have fucked him but…..anxiety. he was hot tho. like 10/10 body and ass holy shit. plus he complimented me on my ass eating so (assuming that was genuine and not a vapid ego boost haha paranoia am i right) hopefully he comes back for seconds. 
second guy ive had a longish history with. started talking to him at the beginning of last fall semester and we hooked up kinda regularly for about a month. things fell apart, we both understood that we wouldn’t be good dating wise but still enjoyed meaningless cuddles. whatever. it got to a point where he would only hit me up like once every month and a half or so and towards like january-ish he hits me up again. so im like nice cool lets chill. im getting ready for this but my phone is in the other room. while im doing this he drove by my place to pick me up (since he was on his way back from nashville), didnt get a response to an “im here” text (bc i was busy and tbh not expecting him to do that), and left. he lives within like walking distance tho so im like “?? sorry i was busy are you still out or should i walk over?“ and he texts me like “sorry hold up a thing just happened” and im like…….okay. so im just.. waiting around for him. periodically texting like “hey are we good for tonight and whats going on?” because like there was some drama with his friend? hes like.. apologizing and shit but this goes on for an hour. BUT. the ENTIRE time he’s dealing with this friend problem or whatever he’s literally on grindr. and at the end of this hour im like in full blown paranoia panic mode and i literally text him something mentioning this and he BLOCKS ME ON GRINDR so im like ??????!!!!??? and i text him (all while saying “not to be crazy or paranoid bc im probably coming off that way but like could i get an answer or something??”) AND HE LITERALLY SAYS HE DELETED HIS GRINDR. but thats a LIE because i have a secondary account to see like……if guys are still on grindr/if a thing with a guy might turn into something more like if i see he’s not on grindr as much?? thats prob incredibly stalkerish and probably really creepy but hey. thats me. so i KNOW he lied to me but i cant really say “hey ur a liar” without disclosing this weird creepy stalker part of me (funnily enough this isnt the first time a guy has lied to me and i caught it with my secondary account! so it proves to have some function use in the end. not totally crazy). so. yeah. that was the incident. after this i dont trust him at all, and i still dont, but i had it in my mind to like somehow get him to fall in love with me just so i could break his heart for doing this? never really worked out. so now im at the point where im like….eh he’s a piece of shit and i hate him but ill cuddle with him bc it feels good
back to nsfw/tmi: the sex was okay. he’s weird about people being near his like….dick and stuff because he was raped and i totally get it bc i was too but he was comfortable enough for me to finger him and my finger still hurts from where he clenched when he came lmaoooooo. was totally hot tho. and i got to east his ass so im like eyyyyyyyy. its been so long since ive eaten ass so having it two consecutive nights in a row has been cathartic.
tldr; we have 2 assisant managers and a gm rn. looking for more
tldr; bitch. same.
tldr; bitch. same.
tldr; he’s a liar
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carmineclock · 6 years
Text
> Once upon like a lifetime ago
Scratch 11/11/2018
And so a hush descends upon the city. A shared humbling sending all the dogs - and cats, back home to lick their wounds. You should feel glad for the quiet, it might mean you can finally get some sleep. But despite the wave of temporary peace, you feel unsettled. Theres something in the air. The smell of change, and you dont like it. Its partially your fault, of course. You should have crushed this particular seed of hate a long time ago. At first it seemed like the playings at a relationship, so you'd written it off. But things have progressed far beyond what you expected. How petty do you have to be to hold a grudge for so long. Ahem. Anyway, you have been preparing for the night with your favorite bow tie. The whole Nepeta, Fin, Trace 'thing' has been so volatile you'd really not wanted to go near it with a ten foot pole. As long as they did as their job. But now. You're pissed. A message was sent out to the three regarding Nepeta, inviting them into your office for a discussion. Despite your earlier invitations, this was more like a summons. So you set about preparing the tea, a glass for each of them, three chairs set meticulously in front of your desk for a nice friendly conversation. As an afterthought, you leave the door ajar, a little test to set the mood. That done, you wait.
Trace 11/11/2018
The summon was to be expected. Yet, you really hoped it would be long in coming. But no such luck. Well, fortunately a wheelchair seems to exist. That makes things much easier, even if the stairs are still... a challenge. But you all manage somehow and eventually you get Nepeta down to Scratch's office, where you just quietly push her inside.
Nepeta 11/11/2018
You had been expecting it too, yes. Or to put it more accurately: dreading it. Of course Scratch would eventually talk to you personally about this, you are not stupid. You are aware you only got off the hook so easily last time because of Snowman. Seems that you luck is running out. You are visibly nervous and uncomfortable on the way to his office, seeking out the hand of one your sharks at all times. But eventually you do reach the office and you are not foolish enough to face Scratch while holding hands like a silly little girls. You gulp and try to steel yourself for what's to come. Not like you have much of a choice.
Fin 11/11/2018
The first thing in your head is “i shouldn’t be here” and you really shouldn’t , for once you did nothing wrong but you are sort of worried about Nepeta and Trace because of course he will be worried about her so it’s a chain of people being worried for each other. ”It’s going to be fine, he will probably bark to you for the Droog shit, demand you to stop and be done with it” you shrug trying to diminish the importance of whatever will happen behind those doors. “I already got a bottle of wine waiting for us in the room after this if shit goes bad” You sigh loudly before stepping into the office.
Scratch 11/11/2018
You are sitting at your desk as they walk in, doing your best to look as calm and welcoming as possible. Tonight isnt just about punishment, its about improvement. Kicking someone while they're down rarely motivates, its about reshaping. Its what you'd hoped would happen under Snowman's tutelage. Not to say she did poorly, of course. She did her best. This is solely in the hands of the young troll, the potential she has that hopefully hasnt been thrown away. "Please, sit. You may move aside the chairs." For Nepetas wheelchair. As amusing a spectacle it would be to see Trace lift her and put her into the chair, or for Fin to try, better to just leave well enough alone. "I'm sure you know why you're here. Lets try not to draw this out with unnecessary drama, if it can be helped.  Who would like to start."
Trace 11/11/2018
As soon as he gives permission, you go to work and move some of the chairs aside so you can push Nepeta inbetween them. "Start with what exactly?" you ask as you take a seat yourself.  "How Droog can't leave his dirty fingers off her? First he kidnaps her for petty reasons, which - mind you - are mostly me, then back at the festival he can't help provoke her until someone finally makes him shut up, and not this." You gesture vaguely at Nepeta and the wheelchair. "A vicious backstabbing in a moment of mutual hardship and asssistance. He had a chance to end this and very much refused." Yeah, Nepeta can definitely speak for herself, but you know she's just as anxious about this as you, if not more. Plus, if Doc gets mad at anyone for talking back, you'd rather that one be yourself. "I know you're trying to tell us this needs to stop, but the thing is she never started any of this. So the question should rather be how you intend to keep this sadistic bastard away from us." Despite your words, your voice is fairly calm. Not much need to fake there, either, since the events have left you fairly tired and exhausted.
Nepeta 11/11/2018
It's a good thing that Trace is talking. You are not sure if you could, words were never your biggest talent. Where he has his way with them you usually prefer action... Which is exactly why you are here isn't it? You almost want to stop him, you raise your hand and open your mouth even, but nothing comes out. What do you even have to say? You just want this meeting to be over. "I'm...I'm sorry for all the trouble I have caused, Sir." It's not much. Your voice is far too quiet to really belong to you. You feel like a kid facing their mad parent, and in a way you are. Trace might be able to talk to Scratch like this but you? You are terrified of him.  And you know did wrong.
Fin 11/11/2018
You take a seat and cross your arms over your chest, your entire body is in a position of bitch i will fight everything you say so you rather leave the talk to Trace, he is the one with the big words in this relationship. “Yeah because knowing that leech he won’t stop sucking until she’s dead” you add. “and it’s not fair we have to stand here and watch.”
Scratch 11/11/2018
You listen quietly as each takes their turn to speak, studying them as you sip your tea. Always so defensive right away. You havent accused them of anything yet. "To start off with, check your tone, Three." You shoot him an icy look. " I havent told you anything yet. In fact I would say I've been almost lenient in regards to this quarrel you have. All three of you. I've stayed well and truly out of the way because it was absolutely going to end up a mess. And here we are. Let me ask. Is there a good reason to kidnap? You cant justify amoral things based on your own code of ethics and expect others to adhere to them. So thats how it started. Nepeta was made his victim and you blamed yourself so you got involved. I assume Five was made to be involved just for being connected to her. The question isnt, actually, how am I going to keep him away. Because the answer to it is too simple. I cant. I may be  a man of many talents, but Diamonds is outside my realm of influence. The question, similarly, is not what do I now do with a troublemakers and their grudges. The question that needs to be asked is actually, why did it ever get this far. Ah, see, now theres a far more interesting answer, dont you think?"
Trace 11/11/2018
"Why don't we invite him over so he can tell you? I thought I already explained as much. He's not letting off despite several warnings, and unfortunately the Crew's second-in-command isn't killed that easily, so here we are." You give Fin. Such. A look. What happened of acting like we're not out for blood. You sigh. "Fin is right. This isn't fair."
November 12, 2018
Nepeta 11/12/2018
It's funny, you aren't usually timid by any stretch of the imagination. But right now? Facing Scratch? You are not the fierce predator you want to be. You are reduced to nothing but a scared kitten under his cold stare. The fact that you are vulnerable physically and mentally right doesn't help one bit of course. Fin and Trace are so much louder than you but you do mumble an answer. "I..I lost my temper last time, sir. It won't happen again." The fact that you are apologizing despite the fact that you were already harshly punished by the loss of your legs doesn't even occur to you. You are just scared to get kicked out or worse.
Fin 11/12/2018
Trace’s look reminds of you the plan yourself set for the two. Damn. Well you can’t take those words back now, at least try to act like it’s not a big deal that you really think ain’t fair but you won’t do anything about it, so you look back at him and shrug then lean back on your table and nod at Nepeta's words. You really don't have much to add.
Scratch 11/12/2018
"I forget when the world was ever fair. I didnt realize we dealt in justice and fairness. Is it fair that a perfectly good warrior wastes her formative years on hate when she is brimming with potential? Is it fair that Diamonds started it and now  wont finish it, preferring to play with the shattered pieces of what remains?" The sentence ends sharply,with more heat than you wanted. You sense yourself getting worked up and ease it back a bit. "No, its not. And as much as it hurts, life goes on." You're speaking more directly to Nepeta now, though you're still facing Trace. "You've made your cases. I want a word alone with Ms. Leijon."
Trace 11/12/2018
You grimace some at his response. While it is nice and somewhat rare to hear a compliment like that from him, especially for your beloved girlfriend, it's.. kinda bittersweet, considering the situation. There's more things you want to say, more questions you got for him, especially about what options there are for her now. What plans he got, if any. But you realize these are things you may be able to ask either of them afterwards, so you nod quietly and raise from your seat. You give Nepeta a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder in passing, then leave the room, where you will wait right next to the door.
Nepeta 11/12/2018
Was that...A compliment? You certainly did not expect that at all. Scolding, a punishment, getting thrown on the streets, sure, but a compliment? You don't exactly know what to make of it. You gulp when he asks Fin and Trace to leave. You really don't want to be alone with Scratch, but it's not like you have a choices. Trace's gestures is appreciated but can't exactly ease the anxiety you are dealing with now.
Fin 11/12/2018
Really was that all?. This makes you even more worried for whatever he gotta tell her in private, was he just trying not to make it look like a big deal and will lash out to her when you two are gone or are you just being dramatic as always. You sigh and get up  but before you go you give a quick smooch to Nepeta’s cheek and a pat in the head then leave the room to join Trace outside. Time for the bouncy leg show as you wait.
Scratch 11/13/2018
The prey have gone, leaving only the preditors remaining. So you'd like to think, anyway. Once youre alone, the door closing sharply behind them, you stand. A slow movement, non aggresssive. Despite your distaste for cats, you know their behaviors. You move around your desk and take a seat in a vacated chair across from her. Eye level, face to face. "May I be frank, Ms. Leijon. I dont want this to come off as just another scolding. You've exceeded all expectations, and with the right guidence you could become something fierce. Thats what I wanted for you when Madam Snowman took you under her wing. And it makes me wonder why someone like you would want to waste so much energy on a grudge. Its clear you realize what you're doing is wrong, so why cant you move on. How much more are you going to let this revenge war take from you?" Its a genuine question. You hope your words come across as somewhat genuine. How you must look in her eyes to make her cower so.
Nepeta 11/13/2018
You don't think you've ever gotten this close to Scratch. It's a weird feeling, to have his attention all on you. Despite being a cat you feel more like a mouse. Trapped. At the mercy of a far bigger predator. It's funny, physically there's no question that you are stronger than him, perhaps even in your current state. Mentally though? And that's the kind of game you are playing here. With Scratch it always is, isn't it? You don't quite trust his words. You are used to far harsher words, not just from him. But to be told you have potential? That you are useful? You want to believe that's sincere. In a way you have to. It's hard to look him in the eyes though. "I know... I know this can't go on. I know this can't keep on escalating or it will destroy us..Me and Fin and Trace. I know that." You do. You had plenty of time to think about it in the past days. "But he wronged me. He hurt me, he used me to hurt them. And the he mocked me for my anger. Tried to play it off as some cute little game we play, tried to push me into some weird black situation." It's hard to hide your anger when you talk about him. Your face twists into and ugly scowl and your anxiety is almost forgotten. "I know it was wrong. I just wanted.. No I needed to show him that I'm not just his toy. I'm not going to play his shitty games anymore. I'm not going to just let him get away with it. I can't do that. I can't let him."
Scratch 11/13/2018
You listen in silence until she finishes. So much pain in her voice for someone so young. Diamonds is as much to blame as Nepeta is, of course. Such a waste of time and effort on a silly game. "I know. He wronged you, and the humiliation you felt being helpless at his hands was something you never want to feel again. And you tried to show him, and maybe sometimes you did, but he eggs you on. And you eat up his every words because your hate is blinding you. Of course you hate him. But let that push you to be better. Smarter. Look at your enemy and study their weaknesses. Look at your own limitations and strengths openly. Are you as strong as Diamonds now? No. But one day could you be?" You sit back in your chair, relaxed posture. Let her have a think on that. "As far as Droog is concerned, you are his toy. Because every little provokation gets a response. Something to stir the pot with. Is it fair that your honest emotion is used against you? No. But we learn. We grow. Every time you let that anger get the better of you,you give Droog everything he wants."
Nepeta 11/13/2018
That...all actually makes perfect sense. It's something to think about indeed. It's obvious you are doing just that by the way you  knit your brows and chew on your lips. "You are right Sir. And I've been trying. I've been trying so damn hard to ignore him. Even when I met him at the festival, I tried to keep it low but then...He just had to show off his damn trophies.  And I just lost it. I just..." You make a frustrated sound somewhere between a groan and a growl. "I want him dead. I want to be the one who ends him. That's my end goal, not...Not what has been happening lately. I know it's not the time to kill him yet. That's why I didn't, even when I could have. " You sigh. "I know I have to work on this. Channel my anger into something more useful. For myself, for them.  It's been... It's been hard."
Scratch 11/13/2018
You're getting there. Slowly, you're unraveling this complicated web of emotion and hate, and laying it before you in neat, workable strands. Its been a while since you deigned to work one on one with someone, after the whole Itchy thing you'd been working on for years went up in smoke. It was always going to be volatile at best. "I do understand, you know. How hard it is. Learning to adapt in any environment can be difficult, but trying to adjust yourself in the midst of those two acting like you're infallable and that nothing is wrong. Getting contrasting validation  for emotions you think you have no control over. And you're right. Nepeta, you cant control your emotions." Its a lesson you try to teach all your children. Not that she has suddenly joined those ranks, of course, but its worth her knowing. "You cant control your emotions, that is why they are emotions. They happen naturally, without warning or apology. You cant ignore Droog because to do so is to tell yourself that your emotions arent there, and we must never do that. We have to take agency over what we can control, which is our reaction to our emotions. Be honest with yourself. Accept that these emotions are there, and that you know theyre strong, and that they hurt, but that you can move forward even with the pain. Tell your heart that your brain hears and understands whats its going through."
You put a hand to your chest, where your heart would be, and sigh quietly. You cant bear to see youth wasted, thats the whole reason for this in the first place. Its why you take in kids and reshape them. They end up lost, otherwise. Like Nepeta. Hopefully its not too late for her. "Learn to control your reactions to your emotions, while still accepting theyre there and so powerful. Its okay to get angry, but if you let the anger consume you, you lose yourself. It becomes all you are, all you ever will be,  and I speak personally when I say that is not something I want to happen. More importantly, though, nothing will stick it to Droog more than seeing his 'little toy' stay cool under his pressures for an explosion."
Nepeta 11/13/2018
He just has to keep making sense doesn't he? You listen to everything he says, the feeling of guilt clearly written on your face. He's right and you know it. You feel ashamed that you have to be told all of this but he is right. It takes a you a moment to reply. "I will... I will work on it, sir. " You don't quite want to admit out loud to Scratch that you think he is right abut Fin and Trace's role in this too. It's true, you have been fueling each others rage instead of calming each other down. That's not what Moirails are supposed to do and it just now starts to dawn on you. "I can't let Droog ruin us like that, I know that. He doesn't deserve that privilege. And in time... We will get our revenge. Good things come those who wait yes? " You hope that is what he wants to hear. Both because you suddenly feel like you care much more about his opinion and because you want to avoid possible punishment. You won't ever not want Droog dead but you know the Felt are going to be the winning team in this war. You have to believe that after all. The alternative isn't something you even want to spend a thought on.
Scratch 11/13/2018
She has the right idea, anyway. All of this emotional nonsense only matters if the person involved is willing to put in the effort to change. Its not enough to just know what you have to do, its having the strength and willpower go through with it. No matter how difficult. Now if you were her teacher...well, it depends on the pupil as well. Some just refuse to be taught. "And while we're waiting, we can plan. I know what you must think of me, Ms. Leijon. I dont make myself very easy to like, and I apologize if my men gave you the wrong idea about me. I am here to support the Felt, which you are very much a part of. I want you to be the best you can be, and I know how to help you become that. If you'll allow me, I can start you down the path that will lead to your future. And if you decide that future holds a Diamonds-based revenge, then so be it." You put up a hand at the end of your sentence, a little sharply, but mostly for effect. You want her to take her time with this one. "Don't give me your answer now. Consider everything I've said. Consider how you are right now, and what you want to be in the future. If you cant picture it, ask yourself why. Take the next few days to really think about my proposition. I may not be able to offer you everything you want, but I can give you anything you need. If you dont want my help, you have to find a way to show me you're serious about becoming a better version of yourself."
This is the turning point. You've set the line out after successfully detangling the scenario. At this point you're almost more mad at Trace and Fin for their roles in this. A girl is traumatized by a kidnapping to the point she has to spend her life on payback to cope with the pain and fear she felt, and these two idiots are sitting there encouraging her instead of trying to calm her rage. "Until you have an answer, you're temporarily shelved. You may continue to live in the mansion because my philosophy is to generally take pity on the differently abled,plus you match the carpets, but I wont have you going out into the field where your actions represent and threaten my entire business. I will not continue waste any more medical equipment or personnel, or time on this. No flashy punishments, just a cut off. I'd say your own actions have punished you far more than I ever could. And if you do manage to find a way to fix whats been done, consider it a gift not to be wasted."
Nepeta 11/13/2018
You open your mouth to protest the whole shelving thing but...You can't really protest that at all can you? He's right about everything. You are useless right now in any event, so it's not even a big difference. But your need to be useful is just so damn high it barely slips anyways. You swallow the protests down and answer. "Yes, sir. I have...I have a lot to think about." Mostly about what you think of Scratch and your relationship with Fin and Trace. You never expected to get out of this talk with some sort of? Respect? For Scratch budding in your mind. Or that you would begin to question how stable your pale relationship is. It really is quite a lot to process.
Scratch 11/13/2018
Good. You hope she will think about it, and not let the opinions of those around her sway her choices. This all could have gone far worse, so you're glad for that. Maybe she'll listen. Maybe she wont. But the offer has been handed across the table, nothing left to do but wait. "Yes, you do. Now, as far as those two are concerned, you may tell them as little or as much as you wish to. Just make sure whatever you bring to me as your answer is because of your choices, not theirs." That said, you pat her twice on the head, smile, and stand. Back around the desk you go, taking your seat for the continuation of the trial. "Alright, gentleman, you can come back in." You call to your door, knowing full well that theyve been standing outside the entire time. With ears pressed to the wall, no doubt.
Trace 11/13/2018
You didn't listen in, at least not on purpose, and they've talked fairly quiet most of the time (which is as much unsettling as it is relieving). But you trust Nepeta to tell you all that is important. (Though, you also know well Scratch can play with someone's mind and you worry about all the subtle things he may try put into her head.) Anyway, you give Fin a nod and open the door again and walk up to right behind Nepeta, eyes on Doc. "Anything else?"
November 14, 2018
Fin 11/14/2018
You would usually be the kind to even bring the glass to not miss a word but not right now. You figured that Nepeta would bitch all about it later and the sound of your bouncy leg on the floor was enough to keep you entertained for the time beings. You go in and stand next to Nepeta hand on her shoulder.  Somehow it feels strange that the air is not filled with either fear or anger or any of the sort. Makes you regret not to have listened with more attention.
Scratch 11/14/2018
"Nepeta has been shelved. Until such a time as previously discussed between us, she will not partake in any field work. Along with that, until then, I am barring her from Felt resources in regards to any future problems with Droog or otherwise. And let me just say this plainly, as I'm sure you and I will be speaking privately soon, Trace. Shame on you. Shame on both of you. Choosing to care about your own emotions over whats best for you partner. And if you didnt know, or chose not to realize, then you're idiots. Dissmissed, all of you."
0 notes
Lafayette Indiana Cheap car insurance quotes zip 47905
"Lafayette Indiana Cheap car insurance quotes zip 47905
Lafayette Indiana Cheap car insurance quotes zip 47905
BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://salecarinsurance.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 
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Lafayette Indiana Cheap car insurance quotes zip 47905
Lafayette Indiana Cheap car insurance quotes zip 47905
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Lafayette Indiana Cheap car insurance quotes zip 47905
Lafayette Indiana Cheap car insurance quotes zip 47905
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Lafayette Indiana Cheap car insurance quotes zip 47905
Lafayette Indiana Cheap car insurance quotes zip 47905
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I'm 17 and possibly getting my own car, but my parents are concerned about the price difference between getting added on as a driver to one of their cars and being a sole driver on my own. We use geico, and i would be getting a used 1998 honda civic. message me if more information will help""
Kaiser Insurance Premiums Refund?
I enrolled in Kaiser through State of California Employee Insurance program. Right after the enrollment, I cancelled the Kaiser in the middle of Febuary because my wife's employer had better deal for the familiy insurance. Kaiser sent me the insurance card. However, I have not used the Kaiser health insurance. State of California deducted my payment for the premiums. Since Feburary was the first month of the insurance coverage, and I have not seen the doctor with Kaiser, could I ask Kaiser to refund the premiums? Should I contact Kaiser directly or I have to go through State of California HR? Thanks.""
How much would it cost for a male teen driver?
How much would it cost for a old 1969 chevy Malibu and to fix it up. And how much would insurance cost for a male teen driver
Can I insure a car not registered to me?
My 22 year old daughter is in college and on my car insurance currently. She is getting a new/used car. Does it have to be registered and titled to me for me to be able to put it on my insurance? Can it be titled and registered to her and still go on my insurance? Thanks.
How much will car insurance cost if I decide to buy a 2000-02 Chevy Corvette?
I have a clean driving record; I have never been in an accident, no tickets, no nothing. I'm not saying its true but I heard from a friend that it cost about $500 a month for car insurance for the vette?""
Insurance rebate?
If you cancel your car insurance, do you get a rebate as you do with road tax?""
Is it possible to cancel car insurance mid policy?
In the UK. I am about to buy a new car and want to cancel insurance on my old car and get insurance from a different (cheaper) company for my new car. Is this possible?
How much will a dwi increase your full coverage insurance?
that is, of course, if the insurance isn't dropped all together. it's already high because i ran into a parked car last year (and no, was not drinking). so how much will it go up (% wise) for full coverage and then what percentage for just liability?""
Lafayette Indiana Cheap car insurance quotes zip 47905
Lafayette Indiana Cheap car insurance quotes zip 47905
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/diffrent-car-insurance-rates-carl-hopkins/"
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i want to buy this car im just curius how much do you guys think the insurance would cost me and how much i would have to put down the 1st month and also how much i would probably have to pay off the loan every month ? i am 19 years old unemployed and have no credit history but my parents are gonna get me a car for christmas !:D yay here's the car http://www.mdcardealers.com/vehicle_listings.php?make=Chevrolet&range=2&model=Impala&year_opt=new&year=&x=112&y=14
Is Blue of california a good health insurance?
Is Blue of california a good health insurance?
Pregnant teen with no insurance?
Okay, so I'm 16 and I have no insurance,and I'm pregnant. My mom makes way to much for me to even try to get free insurance, but she is saying she is to embarrassed and she doesnt want to take me to the docter and she doesnt want to pay. How do i get free insurance in memphis.?""
Looking for health insurance?
I'm a 23 year old male bartender that has recently graduated from school and thus has been recently dropped from my parents' insurance plan. All I really need is a good ...show more
I just moved and am looking to find some cheap Massachusetts Auto Insurance. Can anyone recommend a place?
I just moved to Massachusetts from Rhode Island and recently purchased a new car. I need cheap insurance for my car because I am young and don't make a lot of money. Has anyone reading had a good experience with a Massachusetts Auto Insurance Agency? I really would prefer to do this all online instead of on the phone. Websites are welcome! Thanks!
""Can you fake proof of insurance in Seattle, WA?""
My friend and I are having an argument. He believes that you can keep a fake insurance card in your car that looks legitimate and the police will not be able to check the information with the insurance company to verify that you actually have insurance, if they pull you over. Also, if you do not have proof of insurance, and you get cited for a ticket, he believes that you could send in fake proof of insurance to the Seattle Municipal Court so they would dismiss the ticket, less a $25 admin fee, because they do not check insurance information/do not have access to insurance records. I want to believe that he's wrong, but I don't know, I am not educated on the subject. Does anyone know the answer?""
Is there any Insurance for?
Is there any insurance that does cover cosmetic surgrey? Or Social Security? If you don't know then don't comment :) 10 pts!
Car insurance at 20 on average?
How much would car insurance be for me if i only have my licence for 2 months before i get a car and i am 20 years old?. The car would be minimum a 1.2 litre and maximum a 1.6 litre so what would a 1.2 litre, 1.4 litre and 1.6 litre cost me on average?.""
Cheap insurance in michigan?
Hi i live in Taylor MI and im trying to find cheap insurance for a 2008 ford focus
What happens if a driver is added to an auto insurance plan?
I know that the rates will go up, but what happens when a driver is added during the middle of a 6 month coverage period?""
Will my insurance go up if my vehicle would be out of town?
Ok so i'm 18 and will be going to college 186 miles from my home in pittsburgh. I'm currently listed as a primary driver on my parents insurance. Will my insurance rates go up just because the vehicle would no longer be located at home? I don't believe it should because if i'm listed as a primary driver what difference does it make where the vehicle is located? Does anybody know if it would go up?
Business insurance?? plzz help?
what is the purpose of insurance for a business??? thankyou in advance
Insurance Premium Not Guaranteed?
Is it normal for insurance covering Critical Illness to come w non-fixed premium payment?
If I buy a new car will my auto insurance run my driving record again?
My husband and I currently own a truck and have an exisiting comprehensive auto insurance policy in Texas. If we buy a new car (thereby removing the truck and adding the new car to our policy but not changing anything else) will the insurance company run his driving record again?
Can't pay my insurance?
I paid my tickets and was going to renew my license but was told I was suspended from paying insurance till next year, is there really anything I can do?""
Question about insurance policy for teens?
I'm 17 and I have my drivers license. My dad says that I can't carry passengers because our insurance doesn't cover them and won't allow it. However, I find it absurd that there's a insurance policy that prevents you from carrying passengers. Does this exist? I understand that you are not supposed to carry passengers until after 6 months, but he says I can't carry them AT ALL not his rule, its the insurances rule an excuse?""
Car accident and insurance?
I got into a car Accident the other day which, i believe, totaled my car. I was still paying on this car. I have full coverage car insurance What exactly is the whole process for this? How much will i get back? If the settlement check isnt enough, will i have to pay back the bank? Does the cost of the property damages come out of the settlement check? Anything you know will be MUCH APPRECIATED!!! thanks""
Car insurance please ?
Ok I'm 18 & I am gonna buy a car and I never owned one or anything and I'm interested how much does car insurance cost I or what kind of car insurance I should get I never had anyone helping me out with stuff like this so if you can help me thanks
How do you get insurance on a scooter you don't know the make/model of?
I bought a scooter off of Craigslist, no title, just bill of sale. I want to get the title for it, but my state requires you to first have insurance on the bike/scooter before you can register it. I have no idea of the make or model, I know it's a 49cc and it is Chinese made. I checked the VIN and it is not stolen but does not give any other information on it. How do I go about doing this? Can I use a cheap insurance company like The General or something? Also, I am located in Colorado but I think it's pretty standard around the country of the same process. I'm looking to register it in my name, get the title and get a Low Power Scooter sticker for it. 10 points to the best answer!""
Why did my health insurance raise 85%?
I work for a school and our healthcare company, Cigna, raised the rates from $20 a month last year, to $130 a month this year! And a family plan through Cigna (which I had hoped to use one day) will cost more than $700 a month!! What?? The best part is, the insurance covers less than last year and has higher copays for everything ($150 for an urgent care visit as opposed to $50 previously). Can anybody explain why this is happening? I'm all for healthcare reform... Companies shouldn't be able to take advantage of hard working citizens, those less fortunate should have access to affordable healthcare, etc. But why this EXTREME hike in price for me? Please keep you anti-Affordable Health Care comments to yourself. I'm looking for a real reason why I'm seeing this huge hike. It seems like it will be cheaper if I sign up for healthcare on Healthcare.gov at this point...Pretty absurd.""
Insurance quote?
hey, for school i have to know what an insurance quote is and none of the sights i go to will give me any information. so can you help me? what is an insurance quote and for what kind of insurance? all of them?""
I will be 16 soon and I was looking at getting an 01-03 BMW M3. Any ideas on how much insurance would cost?
I live in Florida and I'm a new driver, also this will be my first car (if that helps with info about the insurance)""
What is the best insurance policy for a child age 6.5 year?
What is the best insurance policy for a child age 6.5 year?
Is there a CHEAP car that fits my needs?
Hey, Im a soon to be 19 year old, looking for my first car, I iwll be getting my licenses next month and was wondering is there like a cheap big body cars out there sorta like the ...show more""
How much does the sr22 insurance in California???
any websites or cheap places to get it?? how much it cost?
triple a insurance
triple a insurance
Car insurance and more than one car?
I don't know much about car insurance but I do know it's pretty expensive. What if you have more than one car, would you have to buy insurance for both of them? If that's true how can anyone afford more than one car... and do they have discounts if the same family have more than one car? If you don't mind can you tell me how much you are paying for you're car insurance?""
How long until driving on a suspended license ticket on DMV record is ignored by insurance companies?
How long until driving on a suspended license ticket on DMV record is ignored by insurance companies?
Whats the best life insurance.?
i am looking for a good life insurance but the market is so full and confusing.
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Is car insurance cheaper when changing from 20 to 21 in age?
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I already have a car insurance policy with Churchill. I am doing a very long journey this weekend and want to Insure my boyfriend for 3 days to help me with the drive. Is it possible to put someone on an existing policy for 3 days?? I take it there would be a cost involved.
Cheapest Car Insurance For Ford Taurus 2003 SES ?
I want basically minimum, + if somebody hits me uninsured, Do you think thats good coverage? Car is only worth 2700 thats what i paid to buy it with 130000 miles on it. im looking for personal recommendations, cheapest possible, lowest down payment, and thank you""
Car insurance for 17 year olds?
I am interested in getting my own car insurance separate from my parents but I have NO IDEA what to do or what I actually need. Keep in mind I am a 17 year old high school/college student so I really can't pay more than $100/month. Can you explain car insurance to me and what is required and what is optional? I really do need the cheapest car insurance possible but I do not know anything about insurance.
Insurance Claim Question?
I was rear ended recently and the other drivers insurance co sent out their adjuster. I was told that my car was a total loss. I had a 94 Buick Park Avenue with 148K miles. I got a call from the person who appraised the value of my car and was told that my car was worth $2,200.00 and another $300.00 for what it would have cost me for a rental, totaling $2561. and some change. I did some looking around and found in the auto trader that I can get the same car selling for $2,995 with 154,605 miles. The question I have is do I have to except their offer of $2,200? Also, if I except this offer is this separate from the medical side of my claim? Thank You in advanced.""
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I've had my driving license for a little over a year now and I badly want a car but I don't necessarily need one at the minute. The insurance is the only factor which prevents me from getting my own car. My friend has a car that is taxed, MOT'd, you name it but he hasn't got a license yet so the car stays on his drive. A few of us want to go to blackpool or something for the weekend coming up and I was enquiring about pay as you go insurance, some insurance companies do this, some don't, some have different polices etc etc. Some you have to be over te age of 21, some like the norwich union aviva I believe you can be 18 but you would of needed to held your license for over a year which I have. I can't seem to find an insurance company which could maybe do a month so I can drive my friends car, Aviva was unable to provide a quote due to the fact that I'm male and 19 years of age. If anyone can shed a little bit of light on this topic and help me out, It would be mostly appreciated! Thanks in advance!""
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If I have nissan 350z roadstar 2006 salvage car with only 13 000 miles and I have only liability insurance. Now If someone else hits my car(AND ITS HIS MISTAKE) and I have damage, what would the other insurance party will give me? Would they fix my car if it has big damage?If they total it, how much would they pay? i UNDERSTAND THAT SALVAGE CARS ARE FAR LESS WORTH ,HENCE I AM ONLY BUYING LIABILITY ON IT. BUT WHAT IF MY CAR IS DAMAGED BY SOMEONE ELSE MISTAKE?""
Does insurance go with the driver?
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Need a quote on car insurance by Norwich Union. Just passed test.?
A friend needs a quote on car insurance. He has just passed his test and is about to buy his first car. All details can be provided to find a rough estamate before he purchases car insurance from yourselves.
Car Insurance too high.. HELP?
My Boyfriend (21) has very high car insurance (ONTARIO) due to speeding tickets and failure to stop at stop sign and one for being over the limit with a g2. I called my insurance to add him onto my car and they refuse to. We've found 1 company that would insure him for almost $1000/Month, We do not have that kind of money, One of the ways to have your insurance lowered is to have insurance and not get anymore tickets, BUT are they're any other ways?""
How much would I have to pay for car insurance?
I'm an 18-year-old male. I have been driving for almost two years, including permit time. I should have no tickets on my record (I had one but I was able to get it off with a kind of probation). I'm in college as a B average student. My dad has been with Allstate for awhile now, has had only 1 or 2 tickets in the past five years or so. The car I want to get insured is a '97 Acura 3.5RL with a Nav System and high security system. Any help is appreciated, but answers with numbers will be greatly appreciated. I know there's a lot of factors with car insurance, but if anyone can, I'd like to get an rough estimate.""
For what reason would i not qualify for unemployment insurance in California?
i was recently let go from work. so, for what reasons could i not qualify for unemployment insurance? and for what reason could i qualify for it?""
How much will my car insurance be?
i just bought a car, an 02' Ford Focus with 62,000 miles for $3,200 and i put $2000 down. Im 20 and am a first time driver and this is my first car, started late, i know,lol. I have NO credit history, but i have a fulltime job. Im not trying to spend a ton of money a month on insurance, i have enough bills and am already struggling to keep up with them. Whats the best insurance i can get thats the cheapest and how much will it approximately be? thank you :-)""
What car insurance company is best for an 18 year old?
I am 18 years old and am going to attend college in late september. I have practiced driving and am working on my license to live on campus. I know car insurance is expensive but I just want to know which would be the best coverage if I get into a collision and would be the cheapest. My mom said it would cost about $300 but that sounds crazy :/. I know Im a new driver but why would it be that expensive? It sounds hard to narrow down considering all the possibilities but Im new to this whole world of cars and insurance. My parents wont help me out at all. In fact, Ive been saving up for when this moment would come. I saved up $606. Plus, Im going to apply for a part time job at my college that will pay $10 an hour. I should be making about $120 a week which would be like $480 if I dont spend my money on stupid stuff which I wont. So basically, $480 is my budget. Well it might be a bit less. I have to eat too so I guess I could live off of 80 dollars of food. So that would be leave me with 400. As you can see, im really struggling to try and work out a plan. If you could give me some opinions that would be great. Thanks for reading what I have to say :) -Nick""
Car insurance for dependent child with no car-(US)?
Do I need to add my son (age 20) to my auto insurance policy if he does not have a car and drives so very little!
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My car insurance is due today with Admiral .. I took out a renewal quote through comparison website and as I was planning to change my car initially I didn't renew it in advance. Now I checked online again but it wouldn't give me previous quotes and is giving a higher price(abt 300 more) When I give another renewal date e.g 25th then its again cheaper. My question is If I can't get a cheaper price for now . Is it possible to renew it after few days instead? Does that affect insurance as I know if you don't have insurance then premium costs is same as for new drivers but I recall some one telling me that one can have a month insurance break without affecting their renewal rate?
Can someone provide best independent health insurance i can buy thats affordable?
I have been chewing tabaco for about 8 years i am 26 years old my teeth havent rotted out yet, but i have a very tiny bump on my tonsils (which i think its just irritated) However to ...show more""
How much do you think insurance would be for me?
I'm turning 16 and honestly don't know where to even start when it comes to insurance. Right now my parent don't have insurance.. Do They need to have insurance so I can get insurance? I live in tennessee I'll be driving a 2006 black jeep liberty and insurance just seems really confusing and scary.
Low-cost health insurance company?
I have been trying to do research on the state of health insurance in the US and am not getting much informative stuff. What is stopping a private, non- or for-profit company setting up a lower-premium health insurance company? these are the possible problems i have come up with so far: - the insurance claims will far exhaust the float (is this true?) - the demand will be overwhelming (but this shouldn't be too bad considering the insurance business is not heavy on capital expenditures?) - it would be difficult to cover the high costs of drugs and specialist medical costs with lower premiums - getting hands on enough and reliable data in order to calculate proper costs, probabilities of claims against a potential pool of funds, etc. possible solutions would of course begin with restricting the pool of people granted insurance (restrict by probability of claiming insurance) until more data can be gathered to offer insurance to less healthy candidates.""
Is it legal to use foreign car insurance in the UK?
I'm a 17 year old male and I've just passed my driving test, I'm trying to think of every and any way possible to get car insurance as cheap as possible. I was wondering whether it's possible to purchase and use car insurance from a foreign company in the UK and if it is possible whether you could have a policy on an English car or whether i'd have to purchase an import. Thanks in advance.""
What if an auto insurance valuation is too low?
The insurance company wants to total my car, which was in a parking lot accident. The value that they are giving it is way too low. I know some people want more than their car is worth and the insurance company would like to save themselves as much money. However, objectively looking at it.... I cannot find another car for the price that the insurance company says it's worth. Online dealer ads list some cars with somewhat higher mileage at $2,000-2,500 more. When I offer the amount that the insurance company offered, they are polite but decline the offer. The insurance company uses comparisons with cars that are all much higher in mileage, some double. I suspect those cars are beat up. The state insurance commissioner will do nothing much, according to what their website suggests. At most, they will be an informal moderator that encourages resolution. They also tabulate the number of complaints. They will not get involved unless there is a clear violation of law, not just low ball estimates. They even say that. Actually, the repair estimate plus salvage value equals the value they assign. If the value is higher, it should be repaired, which I want. I am willing to accept a fair valuation and settlement but it is not fair now. What should I do?""
triple a insurance
triple a insurance
Cheap derbi insurance?
hey im 16 the end of the month and i am getting a derbi gpr 50. my question is, where can i find really cheap insurance for this bike in the UK?""
""Where can I find the absolute cheapest auto insurance in Kennwick, WA?""
I need cheap basic liability auto insurance for my car, who can help?""
What is so evil and wrong about having affordable health insurance for all Americans?
Do the conservative Republicans know what it's like to be poor and struggle? Do they have any idea what it's like to be poor and not have much? All I hear from them is gloom and doom about Obama and the health care bill. If you all don't like what is going on here, then you can all just leave this great nation that Obama is the head of.""
Car insurance rates dropping?
hello, after my first ever six months of car insurance will my rates drop or will things be cheaper ? I am 24 about to be 25 years old. I have only had one speeding ticket.""
What is the average cost of sr-22 insurance ??
i need to sr-22 to get my license back after 7 years w/o driving. i lost it in 2001 due to a dui, and haven't driven since. its finally time for me to start my life over, and this is a major step to do it. i learned from the dmv (ca) that i need the sr-22 + insurance, and just a 125.00$ reinstatement cost. i know there are a lot of factors to consider, but just an idea of the cost would be great.""
Car insurance and 18?
I live in mn and my car insurance is going to be 300 and some for liability and full is going to be 600 a month Is that good or high I do have not a good driving record and i drive a 99 s10 blazer
What is the average amount I should expect to spend when buying my motorcycle?
I want a Kawasaki Ninja 250r (new) which is about $5,000. Then I have to buy a helmet ($500), gloves, jacket, and other protective gear. Then I also have to worry about insurance and other costs that come with initially buying a vehicle. How much do you think I will need saved up in total to buy this bike (and the extra costs) by January 2010?""
Is it cheaper if I put a car in my parents name?
Im buying my first car. Im 18 and a male living in new york. Im going on my parents car insurance no matter what, but does it matter whose name the car is in? Would it be more ...show more""
Why is State Farm online auto insurance quote differs from a State Farm's agent quote in Honolulu?
I went to a State Farm office today to get an auto insurance quote, and to my surprise, the quoted price is more than double the price that I got online at State Farm's website. ...show more""
What's this 50 cash back with a car insurance quote all about?
I was quoted 370, clicked on 'buy now' and it said 420.....you get the 50 cash back, in a cheque, through the post after 120 days""
What is insurance quote?
What is insurance quote?
Is There A Way Of Finding Insurance Prices Without Owning A Car In The First Place?
Ok ill explain it better here. I'm after a car but i will need to know how much the insurance is for different cars. So for example if i wanted a car in insurance group 2, could i find out how much that specific car and insurance group would be for me? I know there's go-compare and all the other comparison websites but they are expecting you already have the car and just need to insure it. I need to know the prices before i get a car so i know i will have enough! Help please? Cheers""
Will my car insurance go down?
Hi Ive just renewed my car insurance and had a major reduction, i got through my first year paying 4800 (800 deposit and 380 for 10 months) now ive renewed and im paying 1600 (500 deposit and 110 for 10 months). My question is i am moving out of the area i live to live in gloucester, ive done quotes for my car in that area with all the same details as now just with a different address and my insurance is just above 600 not 1600! does this mean if i move and contact my insurance company (RAC) that they will reduce my payments or will i have to still pay the same for the next 11 months? Thank you""
Car Insurance Question... PLEASE HELP!?
My sister bumped another car when she was backing out, when the car saw her backing out but still went ahead and there was no damage. My sister, in a moment of insanity, gave the woman, who is an attorney, her insurance number and some other information. All she took from the woman was her name and email. Now we have a claim coming in. We have no idea what to do. She is still in college, and is under my parent's insurance. There was obviously nothing wrong with the car. My parents are beside themselves with worry, because the claim could mean anything from $50-$20,000. Words cannot explain my anger towards my sister's naivety in the human race. What can we do? We will know more about the claim tomorrow.""
""I am 66 years old, can I get health insurance??? how about medicare???} how dan I proceed?""
I am 66 years old, can I get health insurance??? how about medicare???} how dan I proceed?""
California insurance program help!!!!!?
i applied for insurance with them and they sent me back a letter saying i didnt qualify because i wasnt licensed continuously for prev 3 years.....ive been driving since i was 16 and now im 22 i had tickets prior but recently i obtained a dmv record and all of them are cleared ......but my license was suspened when i was 19-20 do you beleive this could have been why i was rejected?????
Do I need to include a speeding ticket that got reduced to a moving violation on a new insurance policy?
I am trying to get a quote for insurance and it asked if I have had any tickets. i did get pulled over and got a ticket once, but I had a lawyer get it reduced to a moving violation so it wouldnt affect my insurance at the time. do i need to mention it when i try to get insurance somewhere else?""
No insurance and pregnant?
Help!! I had a baby in january of 2011. Now i think i might be pregnant again but i have NO health insurance. California will not be serving adult medi-cal as of december 1st 2011 i dont know what to do. is there any insurance comapnys that offer discount maternity coverage or very cheap plans that dont have $2,000 deductables?? this is a serious question so please serious answers""
What is the coverage characteristics of disability insurance?
What is the coverage characteristics of disability insurance?
Please tell me the insurance companies that would take my car insurance payments through a bank standing order
Because of my credit low rating, I have been paying regularly my creditors such as phones providers, professional bodies and charities through standing orders. But the insurance companies insisted on Direct Debt or Credit cards which I cannot use as of now. Please assist in finding any car insurance company that would take a bank standing order. Thanks.""
Who much money does it cost to start an insurance company?
I want to start an insurance company in Florida and was wondering how much it would cost to start one. Do not hesitate, give me your best estimate. Also, do insurance companies keep funds gathered through insurance policies in a fund or do they invest it? Comments? Thanks!""
How much would a 2001 vauxhall astra cost for insurance for a 17 year old male?
No sites please i would like to know roughly how much... x
Will insurance rates change depending on what state your license is issued from?
I'm buying a motorcycle and i live in Florida now. I called every insurance company i could think of and they all gave me outrageous rates just for a bike, but my license was from Ohio at the time. Yesterday i finally got it switched to a Florida license. Will the rates change now that i have a license in the same state I'm getting insurance or does it just not matter? and btw I'm 29 and my driving record is 100% clean.""
What car insurance company should I go with?
I am looking for the cheapest car insurance for a 19 year old who has a clean driving record
Car Insurance in CA with AZ vehicle?
Ok so I have a multi part question. My dad is about to get his car reposed. He lives in Phoenix AZ and obviously bought the car there. Its not under his name yet cause hes still paying for it. So he wants me to take over the payments and give me the car. I live in Los Angeles. So my question is, can I get insurance here in Cali even though its a AZ car and its still under the peoples name? If not, he can get insurance there. Also, isn't there a period of time an out of state car can be here being out off state still? What should I do? I don't want to get all sorts of fines or tickets. Thanks in advance""
triple a insurance
triple a insurance
How much is motorcycle insurance for a 150cc moped?
I've heard some people say $100 a YEAR. And some $250 a MONTH. Big difference. Who is more correct? And I'm just wanting a rough guess. Not an exact quote. So please no ...show more
How much cost an insurance car in North Carolina?
How much cost an insurance car in North Carolina?
Short Term health care insurance plan in California?
I am looking to get insurance for a short period of time - 2 months. Which plan and provider be appropriate ?
What is the best auto insurance for teens?
What is the best auto insurance for teens?
Do I need to switch car insurance for being out of state temperaily? Am I still covered?
I have car insurance in Florida, but I'm going to be going to school in New Jersey for probably for 2 years. Do I need to switch my car insurance or will I still be covered under FL rates? My DL has my Florida address and my car is registered in Florida. I plan on going back, so what should I do? Thanks (I'm with State Farm BTW)""
""Motorcycle blown over in 35MPH wind, would the insurance company cover it? And would I be declared at fault?
07 zx6r. Left it outside while I was away came back to it on the ground. Heavy winds last night.
Should an insurance company give you what your car is worth or how much it would take to replacement it?
The insurance adjuster (my car is totaled) says that he is only obligated to give me what my car is worth and he determined that figure was determined by taking a random 30 cars and averaging their prices -- not considering some have been wrecked, etc. My car was in great shape with some extras. Also, should the money awarded include what taxes will cost on my next vehicle as well?""
""Im getting quotes for well over 4,000 for car insurance is this right?""
Im getting quotes for well over 4,000 for car insurance is this right? My grandson is 17 and has passed his Advanced driving test. He has a VW Polo. Would he be able to be put on my insurance as I have 5 years no claims. Would this lower his by much? He has also been driving cars/tractors around a farm since he was about 13 would this make a difference? Thanks""
How can I get insurance for my kids?
Does anyone know of any affordable insurances out there? We are a family of 4 and my two kids dont qulifiy for Chips, or medicaid. Is there any advice anyone can give? My kids are little. 1 and 7. It really sucks because my husband and i work full time and arent bums and cant even get any insurance for our kids.But i wont even get started on all that!.""
Rough estimate of Health/Dental Insurance Cost of family of four?
I am considering taking a position with a firm that currently does not offer health insurance. I will ofcoarse seek professional help to get a better number, I just wanted to see what sort of range I will be looking at. I live in Texas and both my wife and I are in our late 20s and have two one year olds. Thanks""
If I were to start an in home daycare... where is a good place to buy affordable liability insurance in CA?
If I were to start an in home daycare... where is a good place to buy affordable liability insurance in CA?
""I heard that if you have good grades, your insurance rate will go down.?""
I'm about to get my permit this summer, but I have one F (I'm not a slacker, but I just couldn't handle the work) Anyway, my mom said that if I don't get this F up, I can't get insurance, cause nobody will insure me. Is this true? Also, another question... Do I only need insurance on a car, or do I need my own insurance or could I drive my mom's car legally (when I have my permit)?""
What is the average insurance for a 2004 jeep grand cherokee?
It is a 4wd 4x4 jeep grand Cherokee laredo. Thank you
How much do you pay for full coverage car insurance?
i'm 19 and going to buy a car soon but i'm trying to get a ball park figure on how much i can expect to pay
Insurance on a ninja 250?
Hey I have been looking for my first bike and since I have no experience shifting and riding I want a small bike so I was thinking a ninja 250. From what I have seen they have plenty of power for me, and in my price range so I was wondering how much these cost to insure? I have allstate for my car if that matters? thanks a lot. and please don't tell me I need to be safe... I am already signed up for my permit class and a safety class. and I am no wheelie riding 100mph rider... just looking to commute and go for rides. Thanks""
Whats the cheapest car insurance for a 17 year old?
I'm getting towards the point where I'm going to be driving soon whats the cheapest car insurance I can get
""My friend does not have auto insurance, can he drive other people car?""
my friend want to drive someone's else car, which the car owner does have insurance to cover 3rd party driver. However he does not have auto insurance himself. If there is an accident, will his license be suspended? Will he be responsible for anything else during the accident? Thanks""
Auto insurance question?
I'm going to be working for a delivering company and I need proof of insurance. I have it, but the car I'm driving is my mom's so the name on the card obviously isn't mine. The company I'm going to be working for needs proof that I have insurance and I don't know what kind of paperwork would work. Any ideas?""
Would I be saving money if I bought a car and did the liability only insurance policy?
Right now, I am 17 years old and I have had my license since April 28th 2011. My family is on Allstate and their policy states that as long as I am driving a car which is not registered to my own name, I have to do full coverage (this is very expensive <$2000 since I am a new driver). If I buy a cheap car, one with a $1000 price tag, will I be saving money? Liability only insurance is cheaper, but by what amount? Is it worth driving a cheaper car?""
Can I save money by canceling my insurance and just driving my girlfriends car?
I got a DUI earlier this year, and naturally, my insurance rates went way up. I'm getting ready to move in with my girlfriend, and we are planning on selling one of the cars. If I sell my car, couldn't I just drive her car and not have to pay the high insurance rates? This seems underhanded and like I'm cheating the system. What are the rules and stipulations with this sort of situation.""
Help with insurance?
As of Friday I found out I was pregnant. I would like to schedule a doctors appt. ASAP but i dont have health insurance. Which would be the best and quickest insurance that I can apply for? and is there an insurance that I can apply for online?
Why insurance co. do so much not to pay out a fair claim?
Insurance co. will do anything to deny your claim. They make billions a year to pay out on fair claims but never do. It is ridiculious how they have charge people all this money for coverage that they dont even provide when it is needed. They will try every trick in the book to not pay out. They also ask you roundabout questions, than have there co. take it apart word by word than deny the claim. Have any one ever think about how they have very strict laws on people commiting fraud, but shouldnt they set laws for insurance commiting fraud to? They rip off people day after day that is a sort of fraud as well. Insurance co. have been getting away with this for many years it is time that this is stopped. Funny this is we cant live without them. If you have a car you HAVE to have insurance its a must. But you dont have to have it for a home if it is all paid for. but who want to lose on investment of their home in a case of a fire. Shouldnt congress or lawmakers set some rules?""
*Help* First Motorcycle?
I am about a month away from purchasing my motorcycle and already have a total including the bike, gloves, jacket, and helmet i just wanted to know the average total cost to get it road legal for example the Insurance, Tax, registration, and MOT (I am 18 the bike is 125cc I have my provisional and CBT) I have fashioned rough estimated total for Insurance, Tax, registration, and MOT but would like to know if 677?? a realistic estimate. If i have left anything out please tell me i need to know what i am getting into. Thank you. _""
Term Life Insurance Duration?
I'm thinking about taking out a Term Life Insurance policy on my ex, for $250,000; for ten (10) years. Is there any advantage in taking out a Term Life policy for $250,000; for five (5) years? Thanking you in advance for your expert assistance in this matter.""
Best Car For Cheap Car Insurance?
I am looking for a used car that will be of good quality, reliability and value. In addition, I would like the insurance to be as low as possible. Any thoughts on specific models that meet these requirements?""
triple a insurance
triple a insurance
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/infant-health-insurance-quotes-aaron-mills/"
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chipsanddespair · 7 years
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As the U.S. labor force crests again, a new complex of problems locks many Americans out of the workplace.
Even at so-called full employment, some 20 million Americans are left behind.
Theyre looking for work, out of the labor force but unhappy about it, or report working part-time when theyd prefer more hours, according to data released last week. Their plight comes even as the U.S. flirts with what economists consider the maximum level of employment for the first time since before the recession, having added 15.8 million jobs since the start of 2010. While some of Americas jobless are simply between gigs, those persistently stuck out of work are called the structurally unemployed.
President Donald Trump said wrongly last month that 96 million people are looking for work, having included Americans who are still in school, retired, or just uninterested. Yet his words resonated in a country where economic insecurity is distributed unequally and cruellyfar deeper in Mingo, W. Va., than in midtown Manhattan.
Because of where the structurally unemployed live, what theyve done, or the skills they lack, employers cant or wont hire them. The problems that keep today’s jobless stuck on the sidelines are different than those of past recoveries: a complex web of often interrelated issues from disability and drug use to criminal records.
Behind the statistics are people with 20 million unique stories. Here are five.
President Donald Trump said wrongly last month that 96 million people are looking for work, having included Americans who are still in school, retired, or just uninterested. Yet his words resonated in a country where economic insecurity is distributed unequally and cruellyfar deeper in Mingo, W. Va., than in midtown Manhattan.
Because of where the structurally unemployed live, what theyve done, or the skills they lack, employers cant or wont hire them. The problems that keep today’s jobless stuck on the sidelines are different than those of past recoveries: a complex web of often interrelated issues from disability and drug use to criminal records.
Behind the statistics are people with 20 million unique stories. Here are five.
Fighting To Get Out of Mingo, W. Va.
Tyler Moores late-December drive to Louisville, Ky., was one of desperation. He was headed four hours west on Interstate 64 to interview for a job. Even if he landed the position, filling his gas tank had left him with $8 to his name. He would have to sleep at a friends place until he could earn enough to pay rent.
The 23-year-old had run out of options. Hed applied for dozens of jobs within an hour and a half of his hometown of Lovely, once a coal-mining stronghold. Instead of opportunities, he had found waiting lists.
Minimum-wage jobs, fast-food restaurants, Wal-Mart, anything like that, a lot of them has already been took, he says in an Appalachian drawl, explaining that the backlog just to interview was as long as a year. There are no jobs.
Moores story paints an extreme picture of how an economic environment can create a vicious circle of joblessness. While he is an imperfect job candidate, his flaws were molded by his upbringing in Martin County, Ky. and neighboring Mingo County, W. Va.
Moore takes advice from Therese Carew, a nun and counselor
His problems started in earnest in 2014. He had been living on his own for several years, having moved out at 18 after dropping out of high school, obtaining his GED, and going to work in security at a coal company. Moore is gay in an intensely conservative region, and he said he left school because of bullying.
Moore lost his job in late 2013 after smoking marijuana and failing a drug test. Though he found temporary work as a remote customer service representative, he lost that one when his mother died of a drug overdose in 2014 and he had to plan her funeral.
Deeply depressed and unemployed, he moved into an old Airstream camper propped on cinder blocks behind his fathers house, at the entrance to the litter-strewn trailer park that the older man owns in the misty hills of Lovely. There, surrounded by long-unemployed neighbors and rampant drug use, Moore began to abuse his medical prescriptions. I guess I used it as my crutch, in a way, he says.
Moore began getting in fights while drugged and was arrested twice. When he landed in jail for several months, he realized things needed to change. He graduated from a rehabilitation program in September, one year, one month, and 15 days after that last altercation. Since then, hes deepened his friendship with Sister Therese Carew, a Catholic nun who ministers to the region, and dedicated his time to job seeking.
Opportunities are few. Coal mines have been closing, and theyve taken most other businesses with them.
To employers outside the area, the fact that Moore is neatly groomed, soft-spoken, and polite cant mask his history. Whats more, hes the first to admit that the math skills he learned in the local public schoolswhere only eight in 10 students graduatearent up to par, and his speaking patterns are colored by regional grammar.
His situation is difficult, but Moore has found a reason to hope.
Coal work, once a mainstay, has become scarce in Appalachia
He didnt get the job for which he made that 240-mile (386-kilometer) drive, but he dropped in to his old rehab center on the way home. When he explained his predicament, the director of operations told him that he could come back until he gets on his feet. The group has found a job for him in plastics manufacturing that could turn full-time after a 30-day probation period. The position is enabling him to pay $100 a week in rent. Its a chance to build an employment record as he fights to have his record expunged.
Still, moving out requires a tough tradeoff: Moore would have preferred to stay close to home, because his family is still in Kentucky and his father is in his seventies. And the job probably isnt a pathway to wealth and ease. But what Moore wants most is mere self-sufficiency.
A simple lifestyle, but being able to have work: I aint got to have nothing exquisite, he says.
David Wolf wears his journey through drugs and crime on his arm.
Branded as Untouchable by a Felony Rap
These days, David Wolf doesnt allow himself to get excited by the news of a job offer. Most get rescinded within days. Its happened at least a hundred times, he said.
In 2012, Wolf was convicted of faking a name and Social Security number to get prescription painkillers. Now the 40-year-old father of three and former Marine, who has an associates degree from St. Petersburg College, has struggled to find employment. He’s received so many retracted offers that hes lost count.
I get more interviews that I can shake my stick at, but again, it always comes back around to the denominator of being a felon, Wolf says from his small, one-level ranch house in a Tampa, Fla., suburb, where religious imagery and family photos decorate his walls. For many, many years, I pretty much got whatever job I wanted. I was able to do anything I felt like doing. Its really been a humbling experience
Wolf researches employment options at a career center in New Port Richey, Fla
Wolf, whose chaotic life before he got clean included several domestic battery and drug-related charges, is one of the more than a half-million people who are released from U.S. federal and state prison every year. The influx occurs as the nation comes out of a decades-long war on illegal drugs. Implementation of stricter laws and tougher enforcement that led to a mushrooming of incarcerations and a booming ex-offender population. Before his identity theft conviction five years ago, Wolf held several jobs in sales and marketing, managed a call center, and served as a recruiter for the U.S. Marines. Since, he and his family have since lived off food stamps and cash assistance.
They wouldnt even hire me to sell Christmas trees at a Home Depot through an employment agency, he says. A lot of times the hiring managers feel like they have their hands tied, due to company policy. Its something that really needs to change. Not only can I not get a job, but I cant get a job with a living wage for my family. I have three children. I have a wife. Im not a bad guy.
Wolf shares his home with his second wife, his toddler, and a cat he gently picks up every time it scurries into the living room. Nearly half of U.S. children now have at least one parent with a criminal record.
A Corinthians verse, Love is patient, love is kind, love never fails, decorates a sofa cushion. Outside his living room window, children gather by a school bus stop as the morning fog lifts in the modest neighborhood of Holiday, Fla.
Less than a 10-minute drive away, he spends his free time volunteering at a Mormon church, where he also gets career training. A workshop book, The Lord Would Want You to Be Successful, rests on his living-rooms desk. Men with criminal records now account for about 34 percent of nonworking men aged from 25 and 54 years old, otherwise known as prime working age.
Family photographs on the piano at Wolfs home in Holiday, Fla.
Myself and many other felons, and were facing demons, downtime isnt a good thing, he says. Almost half of released inmates are arrested again within eight years, either for new offenses or for violating the conditions of their release. Were getting food stamps and cash assistance. We dont like being on it. But the society that looks down on those receiving assistance is the same society that wont hire me, and the same society that judges criminals when they reoffend.
He had the word forgiven inked on his forearm after a stint in rehab. On the worst days of his addiction, which started following a car crash more than a decade ago, Wolf remembers taking as many as 40 pills in one day. OxyContin, Percocet, and Vicodin were his usual ones.
It affected me, seeing guys that have sentences of 20, 30 years. This is a vicious, vicious circle, and were not going anywhere.
Leroy Moore, one of almost 9 million Americans who receive disability insurance, spends nearly half of his monthly check on his apartment.
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sowhen-blog · 7 years
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My last good day
April 17 2016 My 26th birthday. We drove around getting all my free birthday stuff. Just me and you. Since that day however you decided nothing you had was good enough. Not me, not the kids, not where we lived, not how we lived, not the money, not the love you were getting, nothing.
You solidified your discontent late august by allowing an old friend to become more than a client who needed help managing money. You decided in order for what you wanted out of life to happen youd have to do the only thing ive ever voiced that i didnt want. And with that decision you chose to ignore my feelings and force me to hide my pain from you in consideration of yours.
All my potential good days henceforth have been infiltrated and subsequently ruined, wrongly shared, and sacrificed.
Oct 19 2016 our anniversary. While you managed to acknowledge it with a bottle of liqour and a promise of a date later in the week since i had to work you left me early that evening to do things with or for her. The promose never got fulfilled because she neded more and more of you and i guess it slipped your mind or you simply didnt care anymore since shes here now in my living room
Oct 31 2016 hallowen. MY holiday. You decided we were going to go do it her way since her original plan of taking her brood to her friend house to go around there fell apart. I missed the walk that i wanted to do and you left us anyway to go home with her and her kids. Cause even though you were willing to walk with us all at the place she chose you weren’t willing to walk with me and your actual kids because it wouldn’t be fair to her kids that your mom didnt have anything special for them.
Thanksgiving 2016. You go to drop her off as it should be with her family but it doesnt work. You take her back to the house you sit outisde with her because shes sad instead of inside with your family. Which you also leave us to watch her kids cause you sent them inside without even asking if we felt like dealing with them which nobody wanted to. We all just wanted to see talk and chill with you.
Jan 5 2017 ayanna birthday party. This is something i was told i didnt initially observe myself buy i had to answer the questions about it all fucking night. Because at your actual daughters party you spent more time in the corner with her holding and playing with her baby than interacting with your visiting neice and your child. All the adults trying to figure out if you went and had a baby with her and didnt tell nobody. Or why she had to be there at all.
Jan 14 her birthday. You took me and the gitls to get groceries. Then got dressed up you almost wore a tie even. And left. You ignored my texts and calls for the rest of that night. You had recently given me pernission to ask what you had done claiming you had nothing to hide and she wasnt that important however my 2 questions pissed you off. You used my free ticket points i was saving to take her to the movies.
Feb 14 2017 a few days after she decides to show some love and celebrate valentines day for you even though we dont do that cause Its bullshit. Not only do you accept it you stay the night with her and make me late for work the next morning. And she got my gift for you before i could save the money to get it. This is how i learned what one person sees as disrespectful is not always the same to someone else.
March.. My miscarriage. You allowed me time away to cope and not have to see you be all bfgf with her while i needed you. All i wanted was for none of that gf shit to bother me while i dealt with my pain physically and emotionally. You decided to take her to work instead of letting her drive like the red truck is supposed to be for anyway. Which meant the gf shit was brought to my temporary safe place and added pain and hurt to my already sad days.
April 17 2017
My birthday. While we were running around getting my freebies and enjoying my bday she calls you cause of course today the truck gets mesed up. You tell her what to do and in thinkint we should be able to go on with the fun and festivities of my day. No no no. You have to pause my bday to actually go to her even though she was doing exactly what you told her to. Since we were no longer on the side of town where i wanted to have dinner you made a spectacle about me thinking in getting two parties and acted like you had no idea i said i wanted to do dinner on the day of and to the beach that weekend. So no i didnt get to go where i really wanted cause now you had the truck on your mind.
Part 2 friday
My kick back even though only one person showed up you were there. We were seemingly having fun but since she mesed up the truck you couldn’t let her keep driving. You left before cake to go take her to work. And you never even came back. My night and you left it to stay at her house since you would also have to go get her in the morning but you still didnt come back staying over there doing fake daddy shit all saturday with her and her kids. You didnt come back that night either. Not until it was time for me to go to work on Sunday morning. My bday party taken from me by you for her. May 28: a family day The day we went to kings dominion to get our season passes. Everything was fine and was doing good until she called for the thousandth time this time to tell you the lugnuts fell off the dodge truck you had let her use since she once again fucked up the red truck you got specifically so you wouldnt have to take her every fucking where. Somehow she finds ways for you to end up doing that anyway. Now youre pissed cause your truck is messed up so guess who has to hurry up and pick one last thing to do cause now we gotta go? Me and your actual kids. Another family day cut short because of her. There have been plenty not all specifically important outungs but damn isnt tine with yourreal fiamily inportant? This day was cause you told the girls we could watch the fireworks but because of her now we cant. You dropped us at home and made your way to her reacue…….again. And we didnt see you until the next night.
June 23: beach trip
Not us, no You took her to the beach. Just the two of you. No kids no other adults just you and your lady. Here’s the kicker though…. You told her on tuesday that you and her were having a beach trip friday. You didnt even call us all day to check on us like you usually do. Guess you dont care anymore or at least not when youre with her and her kids you don’t. And later you lied to me about planning it in advance.
That day broke me. It was the icing on this cake and it confused me like hell. But i broke all the way that day. Every day since that day has been a atruggle dor me to function. I dont know where i stand. I hear what you say but then i see what you do and the two don’t match up.
My days are not mine…
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