#fair is arguably their best song

[rhosyn-du]

Alternative Education - Dreamling

Square/Prompt: A3 - Dubious Consent for @dreamlingbingo, although the consent ended up much less dubious than I originally planned. But the spanking is arguably dubcon, so I’m counting it anyway

Rating: Explicit

Ship: Dream of the Endless | Morpheus/Hob Gadling

Additional Tags: human AU, age gap, tutor/student relationship, tutor!Hob, student!Dream, spanking, face slapping, blowjobs, hand jobs, face fucking, hair pulling, unnegotiated kink, messy af power dynamics

Link on AO3

Summary: Most days, tutoring Dream Aeternum is the easiest money Hob has ever made. If Hob spends maybe a bit more time than is advisable imagining how good Dream would sound begging for his cock, well, that’s between Hob and his right hand.

Inspired by this post. Huge thanks to @gabessquishytum and 🪽 anon for the inspiration for this fic and the sequels that make up half my planned bingo fills. This AU has eaten my brain in the best way.

Thank you @karalynlovescake for the beta and tagging help!

Most days, tutoring Dream Aeternum is the easiest money Hob has ever made. Dream is clever, with a cutting wit and a skill for weaving words that Hob is frankly a bit envious of, and when he’s not being a prickly asshole about one thing or another, Hob actually enjoys his company. Plus, Dream’s parents pay him well enough that he doesn’t need to take on any other regular clients this term, just the occasional one-off to supplement his income—nothing less than a godsend when Hob needs those extra hours if he has any hope of finishing his dissertation on time.

It doesn't hurt that Dream is beautiful. As in, model beautiful. Love songs and fucking sonnets beautiful. The kind of beautiful that, if he were a couple years older and not Hob’s tutee (or hell, just one of the two; Hob’s not a saint), would have Hob angling to take him to bed, or at least to the men’s for a quick fumble. But Hob is a professional—or at least a guy who would really like to keep this job—so if he spends maybe a bit more time than is advisable imagining how things might have gone if they’d met under different circumstances, thinking about how good Dream would sound begging for Hob’s cock in that low, liquid-sex voice of his, well, that’s between Hob and his right hand.

Most days, Dream’s tutoring sessions are nothing more than Hob keeping Dream company for a couple hours, and maybe trying to coax a smile out of him when he’s in one of his more sullen moods. Dream doesn’t need a tutor, but from everything Hob’s seen, he could sure as hell use a friend, and Hob is more than happy to be that when Dream will let him, fucked up as it might be that he’s getting paid to be there.

Then, there are days like today, when Hob is sure he earns every fucking penny Dream’s parents pay him.

“It’s a stupid assignment, and I won’t do it.”

Hob sighs. They’ve been through this a dozen times already. “It doesn’t matter if it’s stupid.” It is. Hob can’t even argue the point. How Dream’s teacher even got his post with such an appalling misunderstanding of classical literature is beyond him. “It’s the assignment you were given, so it’s the assignment you need to turn in. You’re lucky Mr. Choronzon is giving you the chance to redo it instead of just failing you for turning in something that didn’t meet his requirements the first time.”

“The essay I turned in was good,” Dream protests. “You know it was. You read it.”

“It was,” Hob agrees. There are people in his graduate seminars who couldn’t give that nuanced a take on Ovid. “But it still wasn’t the assignment.”

“The assignment,” Dream snarls, “is stupid.”

Hob folds his arms and leans against one of the ostentatious posts that adorns the foot of Dream’s bed, grateful at least that they’re in Dream’s room today rather than the study, where one of Dream’s siblings might try to weigh in and inevitably make things much worse.

“You said that already.”

“It isn’t fair,” Dream tries. Also, not for the first time.

“No, it’s not. But that’s how things are sometimes. Shit’s unfair and it sucks for a bit and you deal with it, and then you get to move on to the parts that don’t suck.” Hob runs a hand through his hair in frustration. “Dream, you could be half done with the thing already if you hadn’t wasted the past hour whining about it like a kid who doesn’t want to eat his greens.”

Dream’s eyes flash with indignation, and he tilts his chin up so he can glare down his nose at Hob. “I am not a child.”

“Then stop fucking acting like one!” Hob knows it’s the wrong thing to say even as the words leave his mouth, but he’s too annoyed, too utterly done with this conversation to stop them.

Dream’s lips curl back in a sneer and his eyes narrow to angry slits, a sure sign that he’s started to spiral into a full-blown tantrum. “And what will you do about it if I refuse to bend to your oh-so-exacting standards for mature behavior, Hob Gadling?”

He takes a step forward, directly into Hob’s personal space. It’s a tactic Hob’s seen him use before, though never with him. It’s meant to make him uncomfortable, to give Dream the upper hand.

Hob refuses to let it.

“Will you put me in time-out?” Dream taunts, close enough that Hob can feel the warmth of his breath. “Put me over your knee and then send me to bed without my supper?”

Now that's an image. Hob shakes his head, firmly filing that thought away for later.

“Would serve you right if I did put you over my knee,” he says blandly. “You could do with a good spanking.”

Dream scoffs. “You wouldn’t dare.”

It’s the certainty in his voice that does it. The kind that only comes from a lifetime of wealth and privilege and people bending over backward to cater to your whims. A lifetime quite unlike Hob’s own, and one that means Dream hasn’t the faintest idea how much Hob would dare.

It’s almost comically easy to get a hand around Dream’s wrist and pull him down onto the bed, element of surprise and more back-alley brawls than Hob would admit to out loud giving him the edge he needs to ensure that when Dream lands with a startled cry, it’s roughly across Hob’s lap.

Hob intends for it to be quick. Just a few swats to make a point before Dream wriggles out of his grasp.

That’s not how it goes.

The instant Hob’s hand connects with Dream’s backside, Dream stops struggling. He lets out a strangled, almost desperate sound and then goes completely boneless in Hob’s grasp.

Hob pauses. Then, curiosity piqued, delivers another sharp smack.

This time, the sound Dream makes can’t be mistaken for anything other than a moan, muffled as it might be by the bedding.

Hob sucks in a sharp breath, suddenly and painfully aroused.

He should stop this. If he were to continue, if anyone were to find out...

But. Hob wants. And he isn’t the sort of man to deny himself something he wants when the universe is kind enough to drop it—soft and pliant and plucked straight out of his filthiest fantasies—in his lap.

So he brings his hand down again. And again. And again until Dream is clutching at the duvet beneath them and half-sobbing every time Hob’s palm connects.

Hob’s hand is aching by the time he stops, and Dream is a gasping, trembling mess across his lap. He rests his hand on the small of Dream’s back, waiting.

Slowly, Dream’s trembling eases, and his hands release their death-grip on the duvet. He lets out a long, shuddering breath.

Hob chuckles. “Feeling better, then?”

Dream flinches like the words are a physical blow, and then he’s scrambling to his feet, face flushed, glaring in Hob’s general direction without meeting his eyes. “You’ve made your point."

“Yeah?” Hob challenges. “You’re ready to write your essay, then?”

Dream’s eyes snap up, outrage winning out over embarrassment. “I told you, I will not.”

The outrage probably shouldn’t turn Hob on as much as it does. “That’s the problem with enjoying something that’s supposed to be a punishment. Doesn’t tend to be very effective.”

“You dare to suggest that I enjoyed—”

“I can see how much you enjoyed it,” Hob interrupts, looking pointedly at the outline of Dream’s erection, clearly visible beneath his black skinny jeans.

“Do not mock me,” Dream snarls.

Hob takes pity on him, spreading his legs so his own arousal is clearly visible. “I didn’t say you’re the only one who did.”

Dream stares. He opens his mouth as if to speak, then closes it again. A pink tongue darts out to wet his lips, and Hob makes a decision.

“Come here,” he says softly.

Dream does, eyes only lifting from the bulge in Hob’s pants as he moves into the space between his legs.

“I think,” Hob continues, reaching out to slide a hand up Dream’s chest and hook it around his neck, “maybe you need a different sort of motivation, yeah?”

“Is that what you think?” The words are haughty as ever, but Dream makes no move to pull away, and his pupils are blown so wide it would be easy to mistake his eyes for black instead of blue.

“It is.” Hob’s grin takes on a feral edge as he feels Dream’s pulse jump beneath his thumb. “On your knees for me, pretty thing.”

It takes only the faintest pressure on the back of Dream’s neck before he’s sinking to his knees with far more grace than Hob would have expected. He looks up at Hob through dark lashes, an unmistakable challenge in his eyes.

“You ever sucked cock before?” Hob asks.

Dream scowls. “I’m not a virgin.”

“Good to know,” Hob says, tracing the sharp line of Dream’s jaw with his fingers, “but not what I asked.”

“Once.”

Hob figures that’s as much answer as he’ll get, but Dream keeps talking.

“Mother insisted that my eighteenth birthday warranted a family dinner, despite the fact that not one of us wanted to be there. When Father sent his PA to let us know he wouldn’t be attending, nearly an hour after dinner was set to start, Mother threw a fit, and I decided I’d rather spend my birthday blowing Father’s PA in the study than listening to my mother’s histrionics.”

Hob is fairly certain his eyebrows have nearly disappeared into his hairline by the time Dream finishes speaking, and he has to swallow twice before asking, “Did you enjoy it?”

“He was very gentle”—the way Dream’s lip curls when he says the word makes it clear it’s not a compliment, and Hob can’t help the way his fingers tighten on Dream’s jaw in response—“and he didn’t last two minutes.”

“Oh, sweetheart,” Hob croons, moving his free hand to unfasten his pants, “that is a tragedy.”

Dream watches, eyes heavy-lidded and lips parted, as Hob frees his cock and gives it a few lazy pumps, and then he's leaning in and wrapping those pretty pink lips round Hob's dick like he's absolutely starving for it. Hob lets out a startled groan, and Dream smirks up at him from around his cock.

Hob has the briefest moment of worry that he's not going to last two minutes, and then Dream tries to take just a bit too much, jerking back instinctively as he triggers his gag reflex.

“Easy, pet,” Hob murmurs.

Dream ignores him, sinking back down on Hob’s cock without giving himself any time to recover and immediately choking again.

“Hey,” Hob says, easing Dream back with a firm hand on his jaw. “Much as I appreciate the enthusiasm, you’re going to hurt yourself if you keep going like that.”

Dream wrenches out of his grasp and glares up at him. “I thought I made it clear I don’t need you to be gentle.”

“And I’ve got no interest in being gentle with you.” Hob reaches for him again. “Just—”

Dream reacts like an angry cat, snarling and very nearly managing to sink his teeth into Hob’s hand, but Hob’s reflexes kick in just in time to save him from a nasty bite, and Hob uses the momentum to deliver a sharp slap across Dream’s face.

Dream gapes at him, his expression a complicated mix of shock and indignation and raw desire. It’s a good look on him. Hob takes advantage of that shock to get a hand in Dream’s hair, giving it a sharp tug and watching in satisfaction as tears brim in those impossibly blue eyes.

“If you hurt yourself,” Hob explains, preventing any objection Dream might want to make by shoving his cock roughly back into Dream’s mouth, “then I’ll have to wait for you to heal before I do this again.”

He punctuates his point by rolling his hips, fucking into Dream’s mouth until his cock hits the back of his throat This time when Dream gags, Hob’s hand in his hair keeps him from pulling away, holding him in place until the tears gathering in his eyes start to roll down his face. It might just be the most gorgeous thing Hob has ever seen.

“But if you can learn a little patience,” he continues, pulling back enough that Dream can suck in a desperate breath through his nose, “and let me teach you to do it right, then I can fuck your throat as often as a little cockslut like you needs, yeah?”

Dream lets out a desperate sob, and the feel of it around his cock is nearly enough to break Hob’s resolve, for him to just take without any care for whether Dream might enjoy it, except...

“I want to, pretty thing.” I want you, he doesn’t say.

Tears still leak from Dream’s eyes, but his expression is open and wanting as he takes another, shaky breath and relaxes into Hob’s grip.

“There’s a good love.” Dream makes a soft, contented sound as Hob slides his cock in just a bit deeper. “Can you relax your jaw for me, too? Yeah, just like that.”

Dream turns out to be as quick a study in this as he is in any subject he puts his mind to, letting Hob guide him with rough hands and soft words as Hob fucks his mouth in slow, shallow thrusts. Hob is glad to have the distraction of telling Dream what to do, otherwise he’s not sure he’d last much longer than that idiot PA.

As it is, it only takes a handful of minutes before Hob’s instruction becomes a broken string of curses and praise as he loses himself in the eager heat of Dream’s mouth and the sight of Dream’s fucked-red lips stretched around Hob's cock, and the beautiful, needy sounds Dream makes every time he manages to take Hob just a little deeper. Hob only just manages to get a warning out before he’s coming into that perfect mouth, Dream half-choking again trying to swallow it all and somehow still managing to look smug about it even as a line of come escapes his lips and drips down his chin.

“Aren’t you just a beautiful mess,” Hob says, catching the drip with his thumb and smearing it across Dream’s cheek as Dream works him through the aftershocks of the best orgasm he’s had in ages.

Dream gives a considering hum and makes a show of releasing Hob’s cock, opening his mouth so Hob can watch the slow drag of it against Dream’s tongue.

Hob lets out a growl and slides off the bed, straddling Dream’s thighs and licking the taste of himself out of Dream’s mouth. Dream kisses him back with every bit of the enthusiasm he’d shown for sucking Hob’s cock, eager hands sliding beneath Hob’s shirt and dragging him close, shamelessly rutting his cock against Hob’s ass.

The angle is terrible for it, and it isn’t long before Dream is whining pitifully into Hob’s mouth, wriggling his hips in a vain attempt to get more friction.

“I’ve got you, pet,” Hob says, working his hand between them to pop the button on Dream’s jeans.

“Yes,” Dream gasps, sounding absolutely wrecked. “Hob, please—ah!” His words bleed into an inarticulate cry as Hob wraps a hand around his prick, jerking him off with practiced ease.

They’re too close for Hob to properly see Dream’s face, so he contents himself with drinking every sound Dream makes from his mouth, greedy for every gasp and whimper, and when Dream comes with a wild sob, he swallows that sound too, letting Dream pant into his mouth until he’s fully spent.

They stay like that for several long moments, Hob leaning back against the foot of the bed, Dream slumped against him, breathing each other’s breath.

Eventually, Dream straightens and, before Hob can say anything, lifts Hob’s come-covered hand to his mouth and starts licking it clean with slow, deliberate swipes of his tongue.

“Oh,” Hob breathes.

“I wouldn’t want,” Dream says between licks, “to have points docked for failing to clean up my mess.”

Hob huffs out a laugh. “I don’t think anyone’s ever questioned your fastidiousness.”

Dream hums in agreement as he sucks the last of Hob’s fingers clean. “But I wouldn’t want you to think I don’t appreciate your instruction, or that I’m not taking it seriously.” And then he curls himself against Hob’s body, nestling his face into the crook of Hob’s neck. “Patience has never come easily to me, but. I will try.”

It takes Hob several seconds to parse out what Dream is talking about—not the least because he’s also processing the shock of Dream cuddling him—and when he does, he feels like the breath has been knocked out of him. He’d meant what he said, but he hadn’t really believed Dream might want him to mean it.

“Can teach you patience, too,” he says, bringing his arms up to cradle Dream against him. Fuck. This is such a bad idea, and Hob just...can’t be bothered to care. “There are so many things I can teach you, pet.”

“I have no doubt. Although, I’m uncertain how this is supposed to motivate me to write that ridiculous essay. Not that I’m complaining about your methods.”

“Oh, that’s easy,” Hob tells him. “I already know you’ll have it done before our next session.”

“Do you,” Dream says flatly.

“I do,” Hob agrees. “Because if you do, I’ll spank your ass proper pink for you.”

Dream sucks in a sharp breath.

“And if you do it well, I’ll fuck you ‘til you cry after.”

There’s a long moment of silence in which Hob thinks he can nearly hear Dream’s internal debate.

“Perhaps,” Dream allows finally.

It’s enough for Hob to know he’s won. And if he’s wrong, well, he’s got a few days to think up a fitting punishment.

[joyce-stick]

The Beef Stroganoff Song! (arbitrary subtitle discourse edition)

So, you may have noticed here that the subtitles in this clip (from Symphogear GX episode 3) are fairly different from what you're used to seeing when people post this video, and the phrasing in the subtitles is fairly different from what the associated memes often say

For those who don't know, Symphogear got itself released on blu-ray by Discotek, and with that came with a new translation authored by Noelle (@ulsairi on twitter ) who is notable for being the only trans lesbian anime translator I know of off the top of my head.

Her translation appears, in my opinion, really rather polished and very good, and I strongly appreciate the way it's written and how much character it adds to the dialogue by giving everyone distinct voices and adapting things into more natural English. It's also a fair bit gayer. I haven't encountered many people who've seen these subs, but I think most fans of the series would consider these a net positive change. There are some people who are mad about these subtitles, and they can die mad.

Anyway, let's talk about the different phrasing of the beef stroganoff song. I'm mostly going to compare to Crunchyroll's subtitles for reference since that seems to be what most others go off of. Here's a link to that version.

So right off the bat we can see here that while CR's translation appears to be a lot more, for lack of a better word, functional, Noelle's translation tries to apply more dialectal force "it's beef stroganoff/Yes! It's THAT beef stroganoff!" And generally communicate through the tone how excited the girls are to get started. Additionally you'll see throughout that the latter is a fair bit more lyrical, there's a lot more punctuation and verbal tics and filler phrases written into the dialogue to express that they are singing, which makes sense since Japanese tends to omit a lot of the sorts of prepositions that Noelle threw in here,

Like, Yumi (yes I went and looked up her name on the wiki) just says "beef stroganoffu" because it's obvious from context that it is beef stroganoff, she doesn't need to spell it out, at least, not in Japanese

(We know like maybe ten hiragana and 1 kanji do not trust us on Japanese this is all just basic shit we learned from online guides)

So this probably leads to a rushed translator from Crunchyroll (they are notoriously crunched for time) who's just trying to Get It Done probably not really bothering to throw in extra additional connecting letters to express the tone of the character, only doing so when it's required to make basic grammatical sense in the target language. So they likely didn't think to make the subtitles have flourishes like this that aren't explicitly in the original Japanese. Noelle meanwhile had the time to consider things like this and take such liberties in order to attempt to convey the same tone that was arguably implied by the Japanese, even if not explicitly put forth

And that's about all the things I should not repeat I guess, TL;DR, these subtitles are more fun to read because the translator had more time to think about the best way to make them more fun while still being accurate to the spirit of the original dialogue, who'd have thought!

(In case you're wondering, the Commie subtitles say kind of the same thing here, and y'know, it doesn't seem like a wrong translation, but also I really dislike this subtitle styling, orange on pink with that font and that drop shadow is just kinda bad. I appreciate the effort but like. Come on. Please fansubbers, please think about if the font and colors you chose actually work with the image you're putting them on)

Moving on!

horizontal and middle rhyme with each other so you can almost actually sing this, actually let me take a moment to try it right now- never mind, I can't sing. Hahaha. I don't actually think it lines up that well with the melody But I thought it did! Didn't I? That's significant, that this actually reads like plausible lyrics to a silly song someone made up instead of a literal translation of a Japanese song

Anyway, here comes the first major difference!

So in the Crunchyroll subtitles, Yumi says "it doesn't have to be beef" which in English (in my estimation) sounds a tad scatterbrained, like, "oh yeah sure beef but whatever really it doesn't actually matter," while Noelle's subtitles rather say "Got no beef? Don't you worry!" Which implies something different.

"It is recommended to use beef, but you may substitute something else if you are sorely lacking in beef" as opposed to "Oh the beef doesn't actually matter, zoinks lol!" CR's translation is kind of a bit funnier in how it sorta comes from nowhere without this qualification, which probably lead to this phrase's memeticness, but Noelle's translation seems more reasonable to me so yeah again, tada, yay for sensicalness.

Now here's another interesting change:

Again, the flat manner in which the CR subtitles say "finish with salt" with rendezvous only being included because that's literally what they said, is sort of absent any stronger emotional implication,

Noelle's translation meanwhile going with "don't forget them, they need it" imparts personhood upon the salt and pepper. The implication being that the girls are saying, "the salt and pepper are in love, please reunite them, they must be in gay love together." Or maybe you think the salt and pepper cannot be forgotten and must be reunited because they are Only Friends.

Whether you choose to believe that this is the salt and pepper getting married, or merely subtext, or an interpretation, or salt and pepper shipping bait, this is a deeply important tonal indicator because it reminds you that these girls are ultimately playing with their food!

"And there, now you're in for a treat!" I don't think I need to explain this one.

Now, here's an interesting one!

In the Crunchyroll subtitles, it just says the memetic "boys don't know this." With no context, no elaboration, no clarity, no qualifiers. Boys don't know. Did the boys magically get their brains wiped? Are the boys biologically incapable? Who knows. Nothing is said but that.

Noelle's subtitles, on the other hand, qualify this statement by saying "Boys aren't taught to cook, so they may not know" (And note again how, it says "kno-ow" to emphasize, once more, that they're singing, and also this lines up with the long "ooooo" sound they make at the end of this lyric, so cool)

There is now context! Boys aren't taught to cook! Anime and Japan's culture in general still pigeonholes people into gender roles! And an anime translator just wrote you a hidden translation note about it! You might be a boy, you might know how to cook, but certain boys in another part of the world aren't traditionally taught cooking, so they may not know

They may not, but they could!

Trust a trans person to express gender facts with subtle nuances like this in anime translations.

And with that lovely bit of good translation and good writing and good localization of a thing to make it make sense to people

Mew!

[152unocards]

Now which one actually 'deserved' what happened to them 🤨?

It was always bothered me that Violet Beauregard arguably got f*cked up the most when she really wasn't bad. Sure she was bratty but she got that ticket fair and square. She did not deserve to be inflated and turned blue for the rest of her life.

Augustus Gloop got it fair too and was just kinda a greedy brat, but he just got a drowning scare and covered in chocolate. Incomparable.

Mike Teavee? I mean, he figured it out. Smart, gotta give him that. But he was awful. He also doesn't even like candy so he's there just for the clout? "Cheating" to win something he knows he wouldn't even enjoy. Did he deserve to be stretched and be 8-foot Flat Stanley for the rest of his life? Maybe.

And Veruca Salt... Ugh, don't get me started. Her overall behavior during the tour honestly wasn't terrible but she was spoiled rotten. It's how she got the ticket. IT'S HOW SHE GOT THE TICKET. Evil cheating bastards. Had an army searching for a ticket for this brat. Stolen ticket more like it. Sickening.

And you know what happened to her? She got covered in trash.

And she got the best Oompa Loompa song.

[princesssarisa]

I've decided not to write any more long posts about why some people don't like Disney's Belle. I've probably been dwelling too much in other people's negative thoughts that I disagree with. But here are the rest of the critiques of Belle's character that I've read, and my short, succinct thoughts on each one.

I still think it's very interesting that some critics think Belle is too sweet and gentle, too feminine, and not "strong" or "modern" enough, while others think she's too defiant, too "modern," and not sweet or gentle enough.

Her desires at the beginning are ill-defined: she wants "adventure" and "more," but has no specific goal. This is true, but personally, I don't mind it. Plenty of us don't know exactly what we want from life, but do know that we want more excitement and wonderment.

She does nothing but read and complain in the village; she makes no effort to achieve her dreams of adventure, and she never does any realistic peasant chores, which makes her come across even more as a spoiled rich girl. I think it's implicit that Belle and Maurice are too poor to leave the village – that's why Maurice sets out to gain fame and fortune with his invention. And I think Belle's never doing housework onscreen was part of Linda Woolverton's feminist agenda. Maybe it's not realistic, and maybe it's overly "second wave feminist," but I do think it was fair of Woolverton to want to break away from the Walt-era Princess model and not show Belle cooking or cleaning.

Her dreams of adventure are side-swept in favor of a mere love story. I think there are two ways of addressing this issue. One is to argue that her dreams of adventure do come true, just in a way she never expected. The other, supported more by the song "A Change in Me" from the musical, is that she does lose her dreams, but for the better, as she realizes her life doesn't need to be like a romantic storybook to be happy.

Her romance with the Beast isn't nearly as fleshed-out or as realistic as fans claim it is. This is subjective. Some people think it's one of the best-written romance arcs in cinema.

She affects meek politeness and plays games with Gaston instead of plainly refusing his advances. First of all, if Belle didn't care about politeness, she would be a hypocrite to criticize Gaston and the Beast for their rudeness. Secondly, Gaston is intimidating. Third, this is only the beginning of her journey – with the Beast, she arguably learns to stand up to someone who mistreats her, which lets her decisively reject Gaston and call him a monster later on.

She seems to blindly love all books without questioning their content, which could be dangerous, especially when the French Revolution arrives. Belle has no trouble thinking for herself. If she can open her heart and mind to the Beast, and loathe Gaston while the rest of the town adores him, then I'm sure she can tell good books apart from bad and dangerous books. And the fashions in the movie are such a mish-mosh that I'm not sure if it takes place before the French Revolution or after... or if the French Revolution will even happen in this fairy tale world.

She sacrifices her own needs for men. Yes she does, but it's not framed in a gendered way, and both the Beast and Maurice do the same for her.

She emasculates the Beast. Well, I'll admit that the Beast's arc isn't very empowering for him – that's the whole point, that he learns to give up some of his personal power and love unselfishly. But is that necessarily a bad thing? I'll also admit that sometimes, I feel troubled that the Beast lets the mob attack the castle and does nothing to protect his servants. Still, we probably shouldn't judge a character whose mental health is clearly suffering at this point: immobilizing, suicidal despair doesn't only exist in fiction, so we should think twice before we call it "weakness" or "emasculation."

She needs male characters to rescue her – the Beast from the wolves, Chip from the cellar. I respect the complaint that the Disney Renaissance movies still rely too much on the "boy rescues girl" trope, but there's no shame in needing to be rescued. Especially because in the forest scene, Belle is just one human facing a whole pack of wolves, and in the cellar scene, her father is rescued too.

She never uses her skills, knowledge, or passions to solve problems – the only purpose they serve is to unite her with the Beast. I think this is just a genre problem. The whole story is geared toward uniting Belle and the Beast in love, and every story beat serves that end.

She almost leaves the Beast to die in the snow and stays angry about the West Wing incident even after he saves her life. The former is only a split second, while the latter is only in self-defense when the Beast unfairly blames her for his injury. Besides, consider the context of how the Beast has behaved until this point!

She's a hypocrite for giving the Beast a second chance yet dismissing Gaston as a monster. She doesn't give the Beast a chance until he risks his life to save hers. If Gaston had done anything like that, she would have given him a second chance too, but he doesn't. Gaston is also far more cold-blooded and narcissistic than the Beast ever is.

She's to blame for the Beat's near-death at the climax because she reveals his existence to Gaston and the other villagers. Of course she is. It's explicitly framed as a terrible mistake and she openly blames herself. But it's an impulsive act of desperation to save her father, and she tries to explain that the Beast is kind and gentle. Until it's too late, it clearly doesn't cross her mind that the villagers could form a mob to kill him!

She plays a nurturing, motherly role to both the Beast and her father. I agree that heroines shouldn't need to be nurturing. But it's not inherently anti-feminist to be that way!

She's sidelined in the final battle. Yes, this is true, but her presence is still essential to the scene, and not every heroine needs to be an action girl.

Her portrayal falls short of the original Beauty's greatest virtues: her kindness, selflessness, and compassion. Belle still has those qualities, they're just combined with more "modern" ones (adventurousness, defiance toward unjust authority figures, etc.). Besides, Disney had already made several excellent movies about heroines defined by kindness and gentleness. What's wrong with giving Belle a slightly different set of virtues?

She's too traditionally feminine and ladylike. I think most of us can agree that "femininity" ≠ "anti-feminist," and anyone who thinks that way is a little misguided.

Her creators glorify her at the expense of the other Disney Princesses. I agree that it was unfair and mean-spirited of Linda Woolverton to imply that the three Walt-era Princesses are "insipid," but I do respect her insistence on making Belle a different, more "modern" heroine. And I agree that Paige O'Hara was mistaken when she described Belle as "the first Princess not looking for a man" (neither Cinderella nor Ariel dream of romance until they actually meet their princes), but I don't hold that against Belle.

She's too blatantly written as a role model – she doesn't feel like a real person, but like a living instruction manual for how a "smart," "empowered" woman should behave. This is valid. But I personally do think she seems like a real person as well as a role model, and I think she's engaging enough that I don't mind the obvious "role model" qualities.

[gerardpilled]

i’ve always found it so funny that ray is like this extremely skilled guitarist, arguably one of the best guitarists of the last 20 years, and then mikey… still can’t play some songs live on stage bc they’re too hard 😭 like how did that happen… brother privileges fr

To be fair Gerard got away with being kinda bad at singing live for large crowds for 10+ years

[steveinscarlet]

I tried to scan the main ol' crazy eyes Joe picture but he was too big to properly fit in the scanner so this is the best I could do

Text below the cut

BRINGING UP BABY

Joe Elliott doesn't want children - he's got enough on his hands nursing a billion dollar baby called Def Leppard. Mat Snow hears why arguably the world's most successful rock 'n' roll band can still stroll down the street without being recognised. Pictures by Peter Anderson

BY THE time you read this, you'll know something that was on the cards a couple of weeks ago but by no means a dead cert.

That is whether the British Phonographic Institute, in all its majesty and wisdom, opened an envelope at the black tie, gala dinner and announced that the award for Rockin' Pneumonia, Boogie-Woogie Flu And All-Round Fabness goes not to Brother Beyond, Yazz, nor even Bros, but to a bunch of blokes who won't see 25 again and who play guitars, drums and stuff often quite loud.

Yes, you will know now what Def Leppard's Joe Elliott and I didn't know then whether there will be a BPI BRITS Award for Best British Band decorating his parents' mantelpiece.

"Def Leppard winning anything is hilarious," he chuckles. "It's nice to be nominated, but we're never going to win anything. We're a stick-in-the- mud heavy metal band - Long 'air and jeans: we can't vote for them, can we?"

JOE ELLIOTT is in mellow mood. After nearly three months off, following the highly lucrative but tiring 14-month Hysteria tour, he at last has time to chew the fat back home in a beautiful bay just outside Dublin, where he is spending his 'year out' of the UK for tax reasons.

Unlike the other four Leps, who get itchy after only three weeks off the road, Joe needs the time to lounge around, catch up with his listening and watch a few videos.

"I've been revelling in the fact that I've been able to get a sore throat and it doesn't matter!"

A week in the sun apart, Joe has not been neglecting his career as the mouthpiece of arguably the most commercially successful rock 'n' roll band in the world today.

There will be rehearsals for the new album. (Robert 'Mutt' Lange, the so-called 'sixth Lep', will not be producing). Hopes are high that it might be in the shops sooner than 1991, given that their two previous albums, 'Pyromania' and 'Hysteria', have been beaten only by Michael Jackson in terms of how long we've had to wait between releases - and how many copies we've gone out and bought. But, right now, Joe has the luxury of reflecting on his place in the scheme of things.

It seems that what he ultimately craves is to be recognised as one of the true rock greats, on a par with the people who turned him on in the first place, back when he was a soccer- crazy, only child growing up in Sheffield, when he was a bored youth maintaining stocks of grinding wheels and oil rags for Osborne Mushet Tools.

Back then, people like Alice Cooper, Jethro Tull, T Rex and, especially, Mott The Hoople kept him sane. Def Leppard's record company, Phonogram, have signed Ian Hunter and it's the best news Joe's had all year.

His list of heroes includes just about everybody who made a raucous noise in the '70s his years of yearning to escape the humdrum world of work and home. That need is still Joe's guiding force so he won't be taking a cue from his friend Jon Bon Jovi's 'New Jersey' and calling his next album 'South Yorkshire'. "Can you imagine it?" he guffaws.

"Ian Hunter summed it up brilliantly in his book Diary Of A Rock 'N' Roll Star - 'I left my heart in Watford?' How can you sing about Scunthorpe or Huddersfield?

"Let's face it, everybody would say, Fair play for doing it - but they'd laugh at it whether they were fans, journalists or friends. I remember when Saxon had this song called 'Northern Lady', and it just stank. Leave it out! Jesus Christ! Flat caps and Yorkshire pudding is the impression people get, even though we all know it's not like that. "They don't all keep pigeons, which is what a lot of people south of Nottingham seem to think. There's no romance, no beaches in Sheffield. A car chase in San Francisco is always going to look better than one through Hackney. But then they could never have Sherlock Holmes in America. It's a different world.

"I'd sooner go for the British approach, which is totally ambiguous: it doesn't say anything, it doesn't mean anything," Joe goes on. "I can't even describe what half the bloody songs are about; they just sound alright. You are what you listen to. You explain what T Rex's lyrics are about. If you can figure his out, then you can figure mine out. 'Hub-cap diamond star halo' means more to me than 'I went down to the river', I'm afraid. People can relate to that Springsteeny thing but, to me, T Rex made your imagination work harder.

"If I wrote from experience, I don't think it would sound very good me singing about the last five-a-side soccer game I had.

"Whenever I sing about women, it's always invented," says Joe, rebutting the charge of sexism which, in fact, I hadn't levelled at him.

"Who's to say that the honkytonk woman ever existed? It could have been a complete figment of Jagger's imagination. I used to write from personal experience don't think I never have.

"On the second album, we wrote about all sorts of stories; Steve (Clark) once hijacked a taxi in Paris and tried to write a song about it. But it just sounded like a piece of shit, so we scrapped it, rewrote the lyrics, made them up, and it was a lot better."

SO, IF not 'South Yorkshire', S perhaps 'Catatonia'? 'Schizophrenia' (a double- album)? Or (Bob Geldof's suggestion) 'Paranoia'? Another psychological disorder, surely?

"Probably," reckons Joe. "It was a complete coincidence, the last two. 'Hysteria' was an idea Rick (Allen) came up with. It was after all the stuff with his accident. The first time we ever seriously experienced it was on the '83 tour, and it got pretty close to it two days after his accident - the reception area of the hospital was teeming with newspaper reporters and kids. And, because we weren't all that popular in England at the time, it made it appear more massive. Rick was on the front page of the Daily Star - and there were all these journalists, like Rick was The Queen or lan Botham. We had to be snuck in through the f***in' laundry chute to go and see him! "I always imagine that Fish - and I'm not knocking the guy - has everything worked out in advance: This is the album title, here's the sleeve - now let's go write the music. The last thing we have is the album title; we panic so much. "Hysteria' was going to be called 'Animal Instincts' at one stage: then we thought that sounded really stupid. We had the sleeve ready, so that was four grand down the drain. It just wasn't right - so we used it for the book instead."

Having repeated, even exceeded, the success of the hard-to-match 'Pyromania' album with 'Hysteria', Joe has found that the way to cope with sky-high expectations is to ignore them.

"I have no doubts about the next album," he declares. "I'm not 100 per cent sure that it'll be as big as the last one, though it may be a better record. Much of it is down to timing. I don't believe success should be based on sales. But everywhere you look it's figures, figures, figures.

"Success should be judged on the sound of the bloody thing. I'm not worried about it. We'll make a record and put it out, and it'll do whatever it does."

What about the live act? "We've had a few approaches from the States to go back and do some shows this summer. Believe it or not, 'Hysteria"s gone back up in America the album's doing better now than when we were out there. It's been 'Top Five in three different years - '87, 88 and now '89.

"Anyway, I was talking to Adam Clayton about it the other day, and he said, You've got to be careful because where do you go from stadiums? What do you do go back to clubs? "That's why we have managers. We have opinions, but we don't have our finger on the pulse like they do. We're too busy trying to sing in tune, play the songs and look cool like a pop band is supposed to do and still keep an eye open so you don't get ripped off. But you can't be a master of all trades.

"When does a spectacle become untoppable? It doesn't. You do a gig on the moon and put the PA on Pluto... Satellite gigs? Hologram gigs? Put the audience in the middle and us outside!"

ON TOUR, the Aerosmith, Guns N' Roses and Love And Rockets albums never left cassette deck. Back home, the Irish magazine Fresh has asked Joe for a fan's-eye view of the new releases.

"I played the Lou Reed album ten times and, in my opinion, it ain't 'Transformer', it ain't 'Sally Can't Dance', it's not 'Coney Island Baby' and it's definitely not 'Berlin'. Every song's about f***ing New York! All about some guy with needles in his arms! "But I grew up with 'Transformer', which came out when I was 12. And 'Berlin' was really depressing but great to listen to in the bath. The new one sounds like demos, which has a sort of charm, but some of it's a bit weird. That song, 'Last Great American Whale' I can't make my mind up whether it's a piece of shit or it's genius. He just talks it he makes Mark Knopfler sound like the guy out of Foreigner. Very strange."

Fine Young Cannibals' "The Raw And The Cooked' gets short shrift from Joe: "I'll never forgive them for slaughtering the Buzzcocks". As for Blondie's remix album, 'Once More Into The Bleach', it's "awful".

The new Supremes compilation is another matter: "F***ing brilliant," Joe raves. "To hear 'Nathan Jones' the way I remember it, not the way f***ing Bananarama slaughtered it. I got my first snog to that song, under the stairs at the Top Rank in Sheffield in 1971, Saturday morning youth club."

Joe advises me to check out The Hooters and The Quireboys; I recommend The Replacements - right up his street. But Joe (29) is of an age to get his real kicks from the stars of yesteryear.

"I've met Jagger at the studio. He was great he kept stealing our f***ing newspapers! Have you got the Daily Mirror? I want to do the crossword.

"Robert Plant came to see us in Chicago. He was great. When we played in the round we used to go on in laundry baskets. His tour manager bet him ten dollars he wouldn't push one out. So he put a hat on, pair of shades, stuffed his tour jacket full of jumpers to make him look fat, and pushed it out to the middle of the stage, right through the audience! "It's funny because he's a Leo as well, and Jagger. All frontmen are Leos," Joe muses. "Those detailed analyses of your star sign tell you things you often don't like to hear. 'Capable of being childish' - I suppose I am. 'Always has to be the centre of attention' well, when it suits me. "Sometimes I just like to bury myself, but that's what my gig is, that's what everybody wants: a big, loud, bloody... you know. "But Jagger's the best; he's got the lips of an elephant on the body of a dwarf. Brilliant. The ultimate frontmen are those you can caricature in cartoons - Jagger, Steve Tyler, Rod Stewart, Bowie, Townshend, Meat Loaf, Alice Cooper... You couldn't really draw me but it doesn't seem to have hindered our success.

"To be honest, once you're as big as we are and you don't have those sort of features, it's nice. I don't have to send the maid out to buy the News Of The World. I can walk down Oxford Street."

So what is the secret of Def Leppard's success?

"Most people in bands have got families, and maybe that's the reason we have the success we have: nobody's married or got kids," reasons Joe.

"I can't see Phil (Collen) starting a family when he hasn't even got a home. And I definitely have no desire to be a father.

"The only times I've ever thought about it have been provoked by TV documentaries like World In Action. I seriously think I would rather adopt an eight-year-old Brazilian kid and give it a real good start in life.

"There's enough kids without me bringing another one into the world. And to be quite honest, after my mumps I don't know if I can!

"I can miss out the nappy stage, which I'd detest. And I don't like the idea of a nanny bringing the kid up because you might as well not bother; you might as well buy one. "I don't want a kid; the band's too much of a bloody baby!"

[uhohbestie]

Lock is asleep and I'm supposed to be writing but I dun wanna so I'm gonna ramble about That One TAMN AU where the zombies never happen.

So the recent TAMN chapter where Grian does his little thought experiment where he broke up with Scar before he ever cheated and he thinks that maybe they could've been friends again one day reminded me of this AU again. And while like, the AU where he never cheated is arguably the best one, the one where he cheats but the zombies never happen is (imo) way more interesting.

Because, just like TAMN, just because they're broken up doesn't meant that Grian like... Gets It? So I imagine that, in that little period where it's been long enough after their break-up for the initial big hurt to pass, but not yet long enough for Scar (or Grian tbh) to have moved on, Grian does... the kinda dumbass shit he does in TAMN. Where he like... tries to come onto Scar repeatedly lmao

AND TO BE FAIR TO HIM LIKE. IT'S NOT LIKE SCAR ALWAYS SHUTS IT DOWN. Yeah he probably closes the door in Grian's face more than once, but Scar has bad days, lonely days, days where he wishes he felt loved again, and hell. If Grian turns up on one of those days... so long as he's gone by morning, Scar lets him in for the night, you know?

ANYWAYS. All this to say that I was going thru the TAMN playlist Lock and I have, and this was one of the songs I chose for the No Zombies AU, and god, it fits so well.

Basically Scar @ Grian.

Anyways thank u, good night, it's late I should write like at least 100 words or Lock will yell at me (they won't) they're such a strict cowriter (they're not) it's so hard for me I'm suffering :( (I'm having so much fun teehee)

[basket-of-cats-and-witches]

Can't help falling in love (with you)

If you're a Lancer blog, for the love of god don't follow me. I'm a fanfic writer for the dumbest shit.

That being said, @corsair-mc-official , run by arguably one of my best friends, recently made a joke that I should pay them in Macguyver fic.

Ricky "Macguyver" Innes being my Lancer mechanic.

Anyway, fuck you Pines, I love you, enjoy this sappy shit. And surprise!

-------

“It's a deathtrap in here, Mac.”

Booker’s irritated growl only served to make Mac snort, stepping back further into the workshop.

“It's okay. I'm not gonna let your pretty ass eat shit. Just trust me.” As he said that, his foot hit a metal can, sending it skittering across the cement floor.

Booker stopped in place, somehow managing to level Mac a look even through the blindfold.

“Sure. I trust you. I trust you to get me killed.”

The warm, husky chuckle of his husband forced a smile onto Booker's face. He squeezed Mac’s hands tighter, holding onto them as the pair took step after careful step.

All the years they'd spent at each other’s throats leading to this.

A loving marriage to the second-most backwater hick Booker had ever met, a quaint house attached to a mechanic shop, and two very squirrely dogs.

When Booker had joined Corsair, he'd certainly never have imagined this outcome. The mere thought of being married to someone who wore a camo baseball cap and a ratty old Corsair t-shirt covered in oil stains would have sent him shrieking in the other direction.

Yet, here he was.

“We're almost there, baby,” Mac said softly. Anyone from Corsair would've laughed themselves sick to hear the gruff mechanic speaking so sweetly, and even Booker was loathe to admit the way it melted his heart. Mac’s love was a hardwon, delicate thing, almost as beautiful as Crimson Empress.

Almost.

“And here. Stay here for a second.” Mac let go, and Booker nearly reached out to snatch those rough hands back. Already he missed the steady warmth of them, gritting his teeth and curling his fingers into fists at his side.

“Please,” Booker drawled. “Don't rush on my account. Not like I'm getting any older over here.”

There was that sweet laugh again, followed by a click and a soft humming whirr. “It's okay. You've only gotten prettier with age, you prissy fucking cat.”

He scoffed. “I'd like to think that out of the options, I'd rather be something cooler than a cat.”

“Like a griffon?”

“Yes, like a- I hate you. Stop reading my mind.”

The hands returned, skimming delicately over his cheekbones. They teased the edge of the blindfold, leaving his skin tingling in their wake.

The knot came undone. Booker blinked in the sudden light.

“Surprise.” Mac murmured.

The workshop had been redecorated in strands of tiny lights, anchored to the remnants of Daisy, Mac’s old Sagarmatha. The helmet was big enough to occupy a fair bit of the workshop on its own.

A few beaten up rugs had been centered in the middle of the room, a workbench cleared for a makeshift charcuterie board, some wine, and two glasses.

Booker tried to force his eyes to stop stinging. “Ricky…you know I hate it when you're a sap.” He glanced at his favorite mechanic, his one and only husband. “Is it really our anniversary already?”

“Mmhm.” Mac walked off, lighting a scented candle and fiddling with an old stereo system until familiar music came crooning out of it.

“This is…how did you convince that pyromaniac to let you borrow this?” Booker stepped forward, taking Mac’s outstretched hand.

Mac grinned. “Pulled a favor. And maybe blackmailed Floyd.” He pulled Booker into a slow waltz, easily taking the lead.

It should have annoyed Booker more. Instead, he couldn't help but be charmed.

This is what love did to a man.

“You're an idiot, Mac,” Booker said affectionately.

Mac leaned up, kissing his husband softly. “I know. But I'm your idiot. And I…can't help falling in love with you…” he sung softly, matching the song on the stereo.

Booker leaned down, hiding his face in Mac’s shoulder.

“I love you too,” he choked out, trying not to cry as they swayed together.

[loonarii]

my 5 favourite k-pop music videos <3

I love music videos, and in k-pop there are a lot of mildy shitty ones, but there are also some amazing ones that are just as iconic as they are aesthetically pleasing. Obviously budget will come into play here, so big 4 groups will be more prevalent on this list, but I tried to be as fair as possible, within reason. Also, I'm a girl group stan, so don't expect many boy groups. Obviously I will forget some, but maybe I'll make a part two, and you are very welcome to leave your fave mvs in the rbs or comments. This list is in no particular order, lets gaur

1. 'Feel Special' - TWICE (JYP Ent.)

This music video inspired this list, and for good reason. 'Feel Special' is in my opinion, the epitome of Twice, as they stand today. It encapsulates their more mature concept post 'Yes Or Yes', but it doesn't alienate their debut cuter concept, it rather welcomes it with open arms and celebrates it as a part of Twice's history, something their newer releases occasionally struggle with. Visually its a feast, its decadent and lavish, and positively gorgeous. Each member has her own movie-esque set, employing various genres and aesthetics, and then the members unite in the most glittery set ever concieved, the gold contrasting their raspberry and champagne outfits magnificently, while also referencing the group's official colours, as seen on their lightstick. The whole video is cinematic and opulent, and every detail, down to Sana's dip died pink hair, and Nayeon's stunning ginger curls which I wish she would bring back, is flawless. The only gripe I have is Chaeyoung's unblended foundation in her solo scene, but hey, we aren't all be perfect. My favourite scenes in this video are the afor-mentioned glittery golden arches group scene, as well as Jihyo's rainbow vintage television scene, that was surprisingly ahead of its time in terms of its retro aesthetics. It's a must-watch music video for the history books, and it's Twice's best song too - it deserves no less.

2. 'Why Not?' - LOONA (BlockBerry Creative - ew)

Note: If you would like to watch this m/v, please stream it from a non official yt channel, in accordance with the boycott. They will usually be marked with 'Boycott Ver.' in the title or something similar.

Loona has a lot of amazing music videos in their arsenal, but 'Why Not?' goes above and beyond. It's one of the most visually striking music videos I have ever seen, and its grasp on colour, composition, and rhythm is completely unparalleled. It's vibrancy is just gorgeous, full of neon lights and shining metallics. The video exists in a constant state of dichotomy: both cool and warm, metropolitan and pastoral, manmade and fantastical. You would assume this would ruin the video's visual message, but the contrast actually enhances it, as well as furthering the group's lore. it's unafraid to experiment with aspect ratio and camera movement, and along with the subversive editing, the final product is unique as well as timeless. Who cares that the last five scenes were neon and retro-futuristic? It's time for Heejin and Hyunjin's black and white minimalist mildly 1920s suited up dance break with a 4:3 aspect ratio of course! As the song itself says, why not? It's as playful as the song, as well as being visually stunning. My favourite scenes include Choerry's upside down mirror moment with the neon lights, as well as Kim Lip in the field with the funky glowing orbs, and of course the cult circle on the moon scene. Fucking iconic.

3. 'Ditto' (Sides A & B) - NewJeans (Ador)

Note: I have a full review of this song, if you are interested.

Where the other videos on this list are overwhelmingly vibrant or cinematic, 'Ditto' is understated and personal. Arguably one of the most influential k-pop music videos of all time, it breaks every rule of what a music video of this genre looks and feels like, rejecting glamour and high fashion for an unromanticized schoolgirl aesthetic surrounded with melancholy. It's heartfelt and unassumingly tragic, and truly makes the viewer yearn for a time they only half remember. It is one of the most beautiful pieces of cinema I have ever seen, and I am so happy that K-pop stans loved it to death as I did, despite how starkly different it is to most everything in k-pop before it. It does however remind me of f(x)'s '4 Walls' m/v, which isn't a shock as Min Heejin (ew) was their creative director also. It also has vibes of the cult classic (?) Japanese movie 'All About Lily Chou Chou'. It has sparked many trends in the industry, including but not limited to: b-roll interspersions, the typical schoolgirl aesthetic, and the general rejection of the polished, glitzy vibe we expect of k-pop idols. Their impact on trends is notable, but in my opinion, no one has executed this aesthetic to the standard that NewJeans has. The unassuming tragic beauty of 'Ditto' is difficult to put into words, you must go and watch the two music videos for it - they are life changing.

4. 'Kill This Love' - BLACKPINK (YG Ent.)

Say what you will about Blackpink, but they KNOW how to do a music video, and 'Kill This Love' is one of their best; it is beyond extravagant. The sets are huge and striking and insane - Jennie floats on the heads of two enormous swans and all four girls dance in the middle of a huge fucking BEAR TRAP and its ridiculously cool. The fashion and styling is amazing too - my fave looks include Jennie's Lara Croft moment with the braid, Lisa's big ass fur coat from her cereal scene, and Jennie's gorgeous eye makeup from her shopping scene with Lisa. In a word, 'Kill This Love' is extra(vagant). Even the scenes that are conceptually ordinary - Lisa's cereal aisle, Rosé crying in her car - are elevated into the extraordinary. There is no real storyline or through line between the scenes other than their saturated colour palettes and the members themselves, but who cares? The members look like fucking goddesses, the dance looks amazing, and there are MULTIPLE jaw-drop moments throughout the runtime - what more do you want? Where 'Ditto' rejects the typical k-pop visual aesthetics, 'Kill This Love' epitomizes them. If I wanted to explain to western pop stan what k-pop is about, this is the video I would show them first. My favourite scenes include: the group scene with the exploding statues and the bad bitch combat outfits, Rosé caught in the storm with beautiful lighting, and THE BEST SCENE IN A BLACKPINK MUSIC VIDEO EVERRRR... Jisoo's goddess moment with the sun and the reflections. Nobody does music videos quite like Blackpink.

5. 'What Is Love?' - TWICE (JYP Ent.)

This music video is so unbelievably special to me. It doesn't break any boundaries with camera movement, editing, or aspect ratio like 'Why Not?', and it doesn't entirely reinvent the typical k-pop music video like 'Ditto' either, but I think it is one of the best music videos ever because it is so FUN. 'What Is Love' is a music video that is a series of references to iconic movies, most of which being about love, as the title suggests. It harkens back to 'La La Land', 'La Boum', 'Pulp Fiction', 'The Princess Diaries', and many more, with the girls playing the characters, on their fictional discovery of what love truly is. It's so special to me because it reminds me of doing exactly what the girls are doing with my best friends and my big sister - trying to learn what love is from the movies is something almost everyone has experienced, and thus the whole video feels nostalgic both for its references, and for its overall concept. It's fun and lighthearted and a memory of simpler times. Oh, to be a 12 year old obsessed with 'The Princess Diaries' again, to be a tween watching 'Pulp Fiction' with your big sister when it's probably not age appropriate, to be young teen watching 'La La Land' right when it came out. What a time to be alive. That's what 'What Is Love?' is, it's a celebration of life, of growing up, of being just a little naive and knowing it. Iconic, truly.

[harrowharkwife]

ill go with sex pal :P but if that's already done, gideon :)

HIIIIII!!!!!!! hi friend!!!!!

favorite thing about them: PALAMEDESSSSSS my boy palamedes. my little guy. man, okay, what do i love about him. i love the way he loves. i am fascinated by his clumsy and imperfect and well-meaning but inherently flawed attempts/approaches to things like agency and ethics and fairness and respect. i love that he pays attention to everything. i love his drive. i love his gambling streak, his tendency to play the odds. i love that he's a boy who writes love letters™. i love how open he is about his affections and his feelings. i love his penchant for using terms of endearment. his love for teaching. his willingness to get up on a soapbox for things he believes in, even if he winds up stumbling sidelong into insufferable preachy condescension half the time. i love that he tries. i love that he sometimes fucks up and hurts the people around him. i love his boldness. i love his sweetness. i love his kindness. that boy could make friends with a brick wall if you gave him enough time. i love that he canonically writes weird erotica to cope. i love his taste in women. i love his gender. i just love him

least favorite thing about them: i mean, i could go on forever. he's deeply annoying sometimes, and as much as it's part of his charm, it also makes me want to thwap him upside the head from time to time, like. boy. shut UP!!! but the real answer is honestly his position as sixth house scion. master warden is an unspeakably rancid title in vibes alone and i sincerely hope we dig into the backstory behind that a little more in AtN. i find it fascinating, and troubling, and tragic, and frustrating, all the ways in which he talks the talk re: cavaliers and agency and free will, but when the rubber meets the road, do his actions really back that up? arguably, not always. and the guilt and complicity and codependent toxicity there re: camilla, is like catnip to me. he loves her, he respects her, she's his best friend, he's in awe of her and her abilities and her strength. and yet, time and time again, he puts her through harrowing things and thanks her each time she shoulders his burdens. it's a self-fulfilling prophecy, it makes me so sad, it's a snake eating its own tail, it is a mobius strip of toxic power imbalance codependent enmeshment and it is FASCINATING to think about. if i keep going we'll be here all night, but just. i think fandom has a tendency to write him as The Good Person™ (him and Camilla both) and, like, i love him as much as the next girl, but he's a head of state in an empire, with all the implications that brings with it.

favorite line: "how god takes, and takes, and takes." "fool us twice, shame on god." "thank god for that mad, stubborn, lovely girl." "it's not you, it's me wearing you." (moira quirk's inflection on that line is literally fucking haunting, btw.) "do you know, i miss harrowhark terribly." "and, most personally, this is for dulcinea septimus." god. i just love him

brOTP: harrow, and also gideon.

OTP: im shy <3

nOTP: im struggling to think of a pal pairing that i Couldn't find compelling or at least interesting, if written the right way, in the right light. he's just my interesting little guy. he's a barbie and im making him scissor all the other barbies. who said that

random headcanon: glasses chain. earrings. palamedes can have she/her pronouns, every now and then, as a treat. contrary to the initial assumption of everyone he's ever met, he's actually Not autistic. (cam is; he's just got wicked bad adhd.) jewamedes is also fun

unpopular opinion: i mean i guess just what i said up top re: people sometimes acting like he's never done anything wrong in his life? i love him but i love him Because he is an interesting and deeply morally gray (ha) character.

song i associate with them: what you can't look up by walk the moon, tiny moves by bleachers, to someone from a warm climate by hozier, chateau lobby #4 in c for two virgins by father john misty, shiver shiver by walk the moon, star by mitski, hopedrunk everasking by caroline polachek, GAMBLER'S PRAYER BY CAROLINE POLACHEK my ultimate palamedes song

favorite picture of them: ive tattooed every single piece of palamedes art ive ever seen on the inside of my eyelids. except white palamedes fanart which is always such a jumpscare

[piqueconcentration]

"Clay Pigeons" and the Blaze Foley Rabbit Hole

Originally posted Nov 9, 2022

This person, in the picture below, is Blaze Foley- a man that I had never heard of until a few days ago. He is also one of the most influential folk and country music singer-songwriters (arguably) that there ever has been.

At the Folk & Forage music festival this past weekend, my good friend Jenner Fox, the incredible musician and veritable jukebox of a human being, began playing a song that I recognized, right as I was leaving the fire to get ready for bed. Several of my very close family friends -essentially extended family- were warming themselves by the flames, instruments in hand; they had just been playing a medley of John Prine songs after a particularly Prine-centric evening (John Prine, for the uninitiated, is -unlike Foley- an extremely famous singer-songwriter. His music inspired nearly an entire generation of the folk genre, and he is credited with such masterpieces as "I Remember Everything," "Angel From Montgomery," "In Spite of Ourselves," and on and on and on), but I was tired and the darkness required I have resolve enough to make it through the nighttime woods back to the cabin.

In any case, the song that Jenner's dad had asked him to play quietly landed upon my ear snail, and it was "Clay Pigeons". Now, my experience with this song was limited. Unfortunately, I have to admit that I had only heard it played by Michael Cera, who, if you don't have your finger on the pulse of contemporary indie/comedy filmmaking, is a bit of a young people's darling after his roles in Arrested Development, Superbad, and Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, among other things, and he currently is (presumably) enjoying quite the successful indie music stint. The absolutely insufferable hipster buried in me might scoff at the prospect of listening to someone who gained even a bit of notoriety from something as... repugnant as being an actor, especially one that people near my age swoon for, but that part of me sucks and I hate it and I wish it would shut up.

In any case, I was under the impression that the song in question, one that I had always really loved for a lot of reasons- its simultaneous simplicity, understated yet heartfelt lyrics and its confusingly ever-appealing melody (there isn't really a good way to explain something like that, but it manages to hit you right in the heart with only, like, three notes per line) was written by Cera, as i hadn't really heard or known to go looking for any other recordings of it. I listened to Jenner pick the rest of the tune, me quietly singing the harmonies as if subconsciously to prove my music-knowing chops to the people around me -people I need not prove anything to, as if there are any people like that at all- and asked: a) whether it bothers him that I like every song that he plays so much that I end up copying him and learning them all myself, and b) who wrote that one. I had noticed some differences in the lyrics between his and Cera's versions, and I guess I deduced that the latter was not, in fact, their author. He said "Blaze Foley" and I wrote that down in my notebook, joked to him about my musical/composorial confusion, said my good-nights, and went to bed with the melody still dancing around my brain.

It was still dancing several days after I got back to my house, and I went looking for another recording, worrying that the one I would like best may end up being the one that I'd heard first by nature of its earlier discovery. The first three versions that I found were the one by Michael Cera from the 2014 album True That, the Blaze Foley one on Sittin' by the Road from 2010, and the John Prine recording on 2005's Fair and Square. I immediately grew several sizes larger than my pants. The texts I sent to Jenner immediately after that go thusly, without grammatical correction:

well what do you know, clay pigeons isnt originally by blaze foley, it's by JOHN PRINE

*It is now, as I am writing this, that I am immensely grateful for the fact that Jenner was not entirely knowledgeable about the origins of the song.*

wait nevermind what

ok the info on the internet is very confusing

god i was so confident too

All that confidence had dissipated as soon as I took more than a cursory glance at any other part of the internet than the first few results on Spotify that come up when you type in "clay pig." What probably tipped me off was learning that Blaze Foley died in 1989, so there was absolutely no way that the recordings could correspond with their listed dates.

I then went down the proverbial rabbit hole as the title implies, and through several stages of knowledge about the timeline of this almost mythical man and his music, so instead of taking the reader down the same, needlessly complex path that I took to get to what I know now, I'll just start telling you about the guy as chronicled by his album releases, particularly as they are listed on Spotify. I won't pretend to know by what system Spotify dates their albums, considering in this case it is wildly inaccurate, but for storytelling reasons I'll go through them in terms of their oldest to newest (seemingly arbitrary) dates. Let it be known, also, that one thing I've found all over the internet in researching him is that compared to other artists of similar time and renown, his music is "frustratingly scarce" (Spotify), as he only has a few studio albums, and his most reliable recordings are ones from when he was playing live. There are a few other reasons, but you'll learn about them in a bit.

..............................................................................................................................

Actually that sounds kind of boring and made me stop writing for like two days because it didn't interest me, so I rescind that previous statement about writing about each album and will now be doing whatever I want.

Anyway, the album above is In Tribute and Loving Memory... Volume #1, released in 1998- essentially a testament to just how much of an incredible impact Blaze Foley had on the musicians of his time, with covers of his songs from fifteen different artists, including several recordings from his personal friend and fellow musician Townes Van Zandt. It does not include, however, the covers done by even more famous artists (Merle Haggard & Willie Nelson, Joe Nichols & Lee Ann Womack, Nanci Griffith, Lyle Lovett, John Prine, Michael Cera, and Whitney) recorded before or after, or the songs that they wrote about Blaze (Townes Van Zandt's "Blaze's Blues," Lucinda Williams's "Drunken Angel," Gurf Morlix's "Music You Mighta Made," and Kings of Leon's "Reverend"). The point is, either his songwriting or his personality or both had a lasting effect on anyone he met, and continue to have one on the people that learn about him, considering my current admiration.

The things about his personality that made him endearing to so many are wild to hear about- he was an absolute enigma, an alcoholic, a troublemaker, regularly engaging in self-destructive behavior, writing a fair amount of songs that actively made people uncomfortable, what with their scathing political satire or their just straight up sometimes gross lyrics. He was seemingly familiar with homeless shelters, regularly destitute, wore shoes and clothes so old that they were almost more duct tape than leather or fabric -his affinity for duct tape was widely known- but he also had a reputation for being amicable, oddly charismatic, and above all, a good friend.

In my opinion, he is best characterized by songs from one of the few recording sessions of his that are readily available, when he played a show at the Austin Outhouse, "one of the few music establishments in town that would tolerate him" (Spotify). The performance, which took place on his thirty-ninth birthday, was long enough that the songs were split onto two albums. The first is Live at the Austin Outhouse, released cassette-only in 1989 and then again in 1999, and the second is Oval Room, released in 2004.

In many of the songs from the former, oddly at the end of the songs, you can hear a monologue from Foley about the tune he is about to play next (these days, if there is a monologue at all, it would normally happen in the same "song" as the song, but that is most likely a product of the album translating to streaming format in an unconventional manner). As it was played live, the listener is treated to the sounds of the audience, the interaction between the people on the stage, you can even tell when Blaze's jokes land and get the audience hooting and hollering, or sometimes don't land and the crowd doesn't laugh. It is an absolutely wonderful portrait of a man just slightly more weird than the people around him, and I think that is a beautiful thing.

Some of my favorite of his unhinged sermons, that I have attempted to transcribe in his exact manner of speech:

"*strum* And uh, ahm on' send it to Merle Haggard, I'un know if he'll read it, or not, but if anybody wants 's say hello t' Merle say 'hello' now. *'Hello, Merle!/Hey, Merle!' from audience* Hey, Merle. (presumably Foley, impersonating Kermit the Frog) Uh, Merle, this is Kermit, yeah. *Audience''s continued greetings, one woman laughing, strum* Uh, have you seen Miss Piggy uh last I heard she w's on yer buss. I'm kinda miffed, uh, Merle, know what I mean? *silence, strum* Cuz it's not easy being green- *strum* (no longer Kermit:) This's call' 'Our Little Town.'"

-Blaze Foley on the track "New Slow Boat to China," before playing "Our Little Town," Live at the Austin Outhouse, 1989

"This's call' Officer Norris. *chord strum* ihs' about a, cop that, put me in jail one time fer'... I was with a, married wom'n an' her, child. An' her husban' wun'n there and the cop didn' like that an' we were all friends, n' it ws', on the up-an'-up kinda. *slow chord strum* But anyway a cop stopped us fer', swervin'... after leavin' a Burger King parking lot an' goin' ten feet an' the car was like fourteen feet long. An' ih's like 'well, how could we swerve? Car's, not that short.' But anyway, 'Shut up, boy.' An' they put me in jail an' I had tinnis shoes on an' they had a concrete floor, it's'uh night kinna like t'night n' my guitar w's in the back of a truck, an' I w's afraid it was gettin' rained on n' the case wuhdn'n good *chord* so I wrote this song. But anny'way, I kep' stompin' on'n concrete floor w' my tinnis shoes n' they never heard me n'... my feet paid. *two strums, picking* So I, now I wear taps on my tinnis shoes."

-Blaze Foley on the track "Our Little Town," before playing "Officer Norris," Live at the Austin Outhouse, 1989

And on Oval Room, the other album made from that one show at the Outhouse, where most of the monologues are removed, there is one song called "20 Years Introduction," which is just Blaze speaking about the next song he's going to play (possibly "Someday," which is the next song on the album, but it's unclear if the songs are actually in the order that he played them that night). A portion of the same monologue appears before the track "Our Little Town" on In Tribute and Loving Memory... Volume #1.

"A lot of people say I'm, half sick, most uh' the time. *strum* But I can tell you that I'm... mostly not sick, most uh' the time. *strum* But anyway, uh... (unintelligible) this might not end up on'nuh record I hope not 'cuz I soun' like a hillbilly, *two strums* but uh, this talkin' part (chuckle). But anyway I'm jus' g'nna see what, what happens, like twen'y years from now I might still be haun'ted by this. *strum* Or, maybe not."

-Blaze Foley on the track "20 Years Introduction," Oval Room, 2004

..............................................................................................................................

Blaze Foley was shot and killed on February 1, 1989, a month and a half after he played that show. He had wanted the proceeds of the album to go to a homeless shelter, but they were used to pay for his funeral costs instead (Spotify). His friends wrapped his coffin in duct tape.

..............................................................................................................................

The next part is about where all his music went. Thankfully, we happen to be living in the age of peak musical availability, and several of the "lost" albums have been found, but I think it's worth taking a look at just how much trouble it took to get it all back. Normally, in a situation like this where some media is gone or missing, I feel like there's generally some sort of motive from someone that keeps it from resurfacing, like a crooked producer or a greedy company, but in this case, it just seems as though the Universe was adamantly determined to hide whatever the man in question wrote.

I think Foley's Wikipedia page puts it best:

"The master tapes from his first studio album were confiscated by the DEA when the executive producer was caught in a drug bust. Another studio album disappeared when the master copies were stolen with his belongings from a station wagon that Foley had been given and lived in.  A third studio album, Wanted More Dead Than Alive, was thought to have disappeared until, many years after Blaze died, a friend who was cleaning out his car discovered what sounded like the Bee Creek recording sessions on which he and other musicians had performed. This was Foley's last studio album, and he was scheduled to tour the UK with Townes Van Zandt in support of the album. When Foley died, his attorney immediately nullified the recording contract and the master tapes subsequently disappeared (reportedly lost in a flood)" (Wikipedia).

Anyway, I now adore his songwriting. I love the simple chord progressions, and as someone who struggles with needing to feel wholly original when I try to write a song, it's a powerful reminder that a song can be what feels like a masterpiece without being a ridiculous, jazzy scalebreaker. I love, in "Clay Pigeons," how the final verse is made up of parts from the first and last verses. I love his tendency to sometimes add a part of the melody at the end of a line that sounds like it's preparing to loop back around, that doesn't complete the melody but is like the lyrical equivalent of a sus chord. I love how the words he uses never feel forced or out of place. I love how I can't quite understand what he's saying metaphorically in his songs, it feels like it makes it simultaneously more personal and easier to listen to.

It makes me happy that we have what we have left of his work.

In conclusion, I think that artists should say the name of the original composer in the title of covers that they release.

..............................................................................................................................

References:

Dave HJ (Director). (2015, May 3). Blaze Foley—Clay Pigeons, rare Live. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uM3YROq_cLY

Blaze Foley. (n.d.). Spotify. Retrieved November 5, 2022, from https://open.spotify.com/artist/1TlScGwN8MmIZ7kIYGjSZA

Blaze Foley age, hometown, biography | Last.fm. (n.d.). Retrieved November 8, 2022, from https://www.last.fm/music/Blaze+Foley/+wiki

Blaze Foley music, videos, stats, and photos. (n.d.). Last.Fm. Retrieved November 5, 2022, from https://www.last.fm/music/Blaze+Foley

Blaze Foley on Apple Music. (n.d.). Apple Music. Retrieved November 5, 2022, from https://music.apple.com/us/artist/blaze-foley/44075415

Blaze Foley. (2022). In Wikipedia. https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Blaze_Foley&oldid=1111200666

[borisbubbles]

Eurovision 2024: #33

33. BELGIUM Mustii - "Before the party's over" 32nd place

Decade Ranking: 125/153 [Above Vladana, below Iru]

and now I get to be smug: (date of posting, the night before the song was released, when it leaked.)

When I'm right, you'll know it. Which of you was also never fooled by RTBF's extensive PR and always suspected the semi was where it would end? Belgium never do well if we're an overdog, that's been proven again and again and again. Not enough time has passed for the Eurofans to accept the truth about "The Party is Over", so let me break it to you with zero filter.

BELGIUM HAD A BAD SONG. *THAT* IS WHY THEY WERE ELIMINATED.

Yes, a BAD SONG. Sure, the live was Very Not Good and that didn't help, (I"ll get to that), but it wasn't "four points ahead of Besa" bad. One doesn't just tumble from "critically acclaimed fan fave and expected top ten placer" to that on the basis of one underwhelming live. Kaleen was arguably worse than Mustii and faced direct competition from three other entries (Mustii only from one and it was fucking DONS ♥) and she still scraped through. That is the difference between a good Eurovision song, and a bad one.

So what makes "Before the party's over" that bad? You mean besides that it takes forever to build up into a climax that isn't even that good?

Besides the literal goat noises + unfortunate singing face?

Besides the word salad lyrics that use a lot of words to say nothing at all? ("ARE YOU STILL PLAYING THE GAME OR BREAKING THE RULES") What game? What rules? WHAT ARE YOU SINGING ABOUT?! This lyrics are as tiresome to read as they were tedious to hear.

Maybe the fact that's it's appalingly vainglorious?

Like, what's the matter? An enibriated gay enters the stage, behaves like he's the centre of the universe, deludes himself into thinking he serves, mama (refering to his own behaviour as that in his mind, ofc) and everybody is too pre-occupied on their phones to pay him attention. That's half of homosexuality during karaoke night at the gay bar. Big deal. If the ambition is to do well in Eurovision, perhaps one should aim higher than "glamped-up Mirud"?

That said, it wasn't until the live in the Semi i realized why nothing works. Once you see it performed on a stage the AZERBAIJANI COLOURS come out, and they're not a part of any televote-qualifier rainbow that I've ever seen. If you're going to come in all "I AM AWESOME" then gives us a reason to agree with you? It was a lot of style attempting to cover a complete lack of substance, and doing it poorly. The song was a bluff, an empty promise carefully aimed at currying jury votes (hence why it dominated early polls) and the live exposed it for what it was. End of.

I've also seen people toss around the idea that Mustii was a Sennek, but I don't believe this is fair towards either of them. Sennek had a great song, and no vision. She assumed the song would be enough get her into the final by default. She then spent the rest of the preseason guzzling down glasses of zinfandel until she took the stage and everyone -to their HORROR- understood how woefully unprepared and inexperienced she was.

Mustii, if anything, was Sennek's direct opposite. He had an unvoteable song and a clear vision in mind (himself.) and worked VERY hard to engineer it into a qualifier. So much that he actively neglected basic human needs such as sleep? Like I've seen at least THREE different interviews where Mustii cheerfully reveals he'd been rehearsing so often that he hasn't slept in days, like dude, TAKE ALL THE NAPS IN THE WORLD. REST YOURSELF. PLEASE.

So with that in mind, I can ~understand~ why he wasn't good live. If you work yourself into insomnia and anxiety, and then are thrown into the most TOXIC BACKSTAGE of all times, yeah ofc you're not going to be at your best.

Even with a good live, I still think Belgium NQ. The song was hopeless. Let this be an eternal reminder for everyone that Fade to Blacks will no longer be tolerated in Eurovision across any flag and banner.

THE RANKING

[thelordofgifs]

Obscure Tolkien Blorbo: Round 2

A fox passing through the woods on business of his own vs Tinfang Warble

A fox passing through the woods on business of his own:

A fox who found Frodo, Sam and Pippin asleep under a tree and was puzzled by this.

Yeah sure why NOT switch PoV to a (arguably) non-sentient creature for like a paragraph with no bearing on the actual plot besides the comment that it never realized that the plot was happening??

It shows up for one page for no reason.  It's great.

Listen, that fox is absolutely a borbo. Confused? Funny? Has enough to be memorable but little enough to write a shitload of fanfiction about? Someone I have actually written about? Twice? (they aren't on ao3 though) clear boorbo

Look, people have observed before, correctly, that one of the things that sets The Lord of the Rings apart is that Tolkien will tell us things about the well-being of minor characters, like that the hobbits’ ponies that they lost in Bree were okay and went to live with Tom Bombadil. Tolkien is the kind of writer who will switch the POV to a fox who happens to pass by the hobbits on the first night of their journey to Rivendell, because the story isn’t just about the main characters, nor is it just about the endurance of realms like Rohan and Gondor. It’s about every living thing in Middle-earth, and for Frodo it’s especially about the Shire, the home of simplicity and good food and community and gardens and foxes. That’s what he takes up the Ring to save, and the fact that he takes it up with that motivation, not personal greatness or heroism, is what enables him to get as far as Mount Doom. Gandalf lays this idea out to Denethor when Denethor claims the fate of Gondor as a goal above all else: “For my part, I shall not wholly fail of my task, though Gondor should perish, if anything passes through this night that can still grow fair or bear fruit and flower again in days to come.” The Quest of the Ring is not simply about Men and Elves and Hobbits; it is about ponies, and the trees of Fangorn, and tiny sun-star flowers in the grass, and yes, a fox on business of his own who never finds out anything more about the three hobbits he once saw sleeping under a tree, but lives and thrives because of what they did.

Tinfang Warble:

A half-fay from early drafts of the legendarium noted to be one of the greatest musicians of the Elves.

how are you going to vote against a guy whose honest to god name is tinfang warble

He’s named in the Lay of Leithian (HoME 3) as “Tinfang Gelion who still the moon / enchants on summer nights of June”. He’s mentioned alongside Daeron and Maglor as the three greatest Elvish bards, but unlike Daeron and Maglor (Maglor is best known for laments, the Leithian describes Daeron’s music as ‘music for breaking up the heart’, and both disappear tragically), Tinfang seems like the kind of musician you’d invite to parties. Also, ‘enchants the moon’ recalls Frodo’s extended cat-and-the-fiddle song at Bree, so maybe when Bilbo wrote that he was inspired by some existing elvish tale about a party where Tinfang really did call down Tilion and get him sloshed?

Round 2 masterpost

[animehouse-moe]

Well, Tumblr decided to bug out on me and I've now lost the original question that was asked, but someone had asked for my favorite series (be it manga/anime/movies/Tv/etc), and this was my response.

(first of all, so sorry for losing the question! I should have taken a screenshot or something when Tumblr wouldn't let me post)

It's all good, I enjoy getting these types of questions because they make me think about this stuff haha. I'm not one to really do well with the idea of favorites, so having to pin down stuff like this can be interesting for me!

That said, for this one I might just stick with anime for the list to make it a little easier. I can definitely do a top ten of manga or other stuff later on though. Also, this list will be in no particular order because I'd be stuck forever trying to figure out a satisfying order for them.

Sonny Boy

I think it's a very fair point to argue, that at this stage in his career, Sonny Boy is Shingo Natsume's magnum opus. There's just not much else to it. It's a series that he created, from his own mind and talent, and he executed on that. There are very, very few people that work in anime that can manage a feat such as that. In terms of story, I don't have any issue with claiming Sonny Boy is the pinnacle of high school storytelling. It stretches the fabric of reality so far that you might struggle to claim that it's about high school, but the longer that you spend with it, the more undeniable a fact it becomes. Or maybe you could generalize it to the human condition, or how the cracks in society will fester and form no matter the condition, or how authority will always appear in a self-serving manner, or this or that or any concept under the sun.

Terror In Resonance

Call me crazy, but there's quite a few reasons why this is the Shinichiro Watanabe anime for me. Bebop and Champloo have rose colored glasses that adorn every fan in the community, so I feel like it's hard to really take a proper look at it compared to Terror In Resonance (even though it has a similar amount of users on MAL). As a Mappa project, it is simply the best they've ever been from start to finish. As a concept, Watanabe's approach is impeccable as it examines the frustration and sorrow of displaced children in a society that never wanted them. It's powerful, concise, and from start to finish an incredibly focused series filled with some of the crowning achievements of animators in the industry. Seriously. Takashi Hashimoto, the animator for this cut, actually did all the math to calculate the speed of the smoke as it fell and moved. Some of the best work you'll see on an anime.

Vivy: Fluorite Eye's Song

I am a big, big fan of Tappei Nagatsuki's work, so being able to experience an anime that is entirely his vision of the work is really impressive. It's one of the biggest struggles with artists, I find. Understanding their work through different mediums. What you see as an anime is not what they created as a manga, or light novel. But this is different, it is Nagatsuki's (and Umehara's) sole vision, the entire intent behind their creativity. And WIT knocked it out of the park to an insane degree. As a post-AoT studio, they showed just how far they can push their creativity and execution on a series beyond human. Incredible story, incredible animation, arguably some of the best hand to hand combat we've seen in an anime in a very long time. It's just that good.

Cyberpunk: Edgerunners

Maybe you see a trend going on with my picks, and while yes it's partly recency bias, it's also a gravitation towards anime originals. I'll add a piece to that at the end, but this is about Edgerunners right now. I was in high school when the video game was first announced. That's a decade ago, now. I played the shit out of 2077 when it dropped, and I'm absolutely eating up Phantom Liberty currently. It is then, absolutely no surprise, that I've placed Edgerunners on a pedestal. But of course, there's also a reason that Edgerunners is in the top 100 anime on MAL, and why it's Trigger's highest rated anime. It's just that damn good. An incredible story revolving around Night City and the themes that Mike Pondsmith laid the groundwork for decades ago. A true tribute to the tabletop game and the genre at large.

The Tatami Galaxy

I don't think there's a way I couldn't put The Tatami Galaxy on this list, truthfully. Of course, that also encompasses the sequel ONA The Time Machine Blues, and spinoffs like The Night Is Short, Walk on Girl. Tomohiko Morimi is a genius, Yusuke Nakamura is an icon, and Masaaki Yuasa is a savant. Incredible work for such an incredible story and message about the pursuit of perfection and the beauty that lies in the present. Arguably, much like titles such as Sonny Boy, these are 100% must watch titles for an anime fan. I'd highly recommend the others still, but these two represent such core and important aspects to how people choose to lead their lives and the frameworks that they do so within, that I strongly believe it's a requirement. I also wrote a review on the novel when I read it in January of this year.

Heike Monogatari

I think history is a very important thing to understand. I also think that history can be presented as obtuse, disinteresting, or too literal - especially in relation to history stories or myths. Heike Monogatari by Science Saru is arguably one of the greatest examples of how to display a modernized version of such a foundational tale to the history of Japan. It's also an incredibly powerful moment for the director, Naoko Yamada, as it was their first real work since the arson attacks on her home studio of Kyoto Animation. Because of the weight of her past, her work beyond words on this anime feels that much more powerful considering its messages about the past and fear of the future. It's wonderfully emotional, and contains one of my favorite closing scenes to a series.

The Saga of Tanya The Evil

Light novel aside, anime quality aside (though both are great), there's a separate reason this title is featured on this list: the adaptation. It is, for lack of a better term, borderline insane as an adaptation. It bears almost no similarity to its source. The tone is different, the scope and scale differ, there's significant changes in terms of narrative, and even the order of large scale events differs. But still, somehow, it remains a fantastic series. Bearing nearly zero resemblance to what it claims to adapt, it is something that I love. It's an incredible feat, and the gold standard of its one-of-a-kind approach to adapting a light novel.

Mononoke

Horror is a very hard thing to do right, at least in my opinion. Many get suckered into thriller territory very quickly, and avoid the psychological nature of horror. The immovable nature of something fearful standing in front of you, the slow descent into madness and despair. Mononoke grasps that incredibly well, and earns a spot on this list because of it's appeal in that manner. Also, the art is just incredible, personifying the more classical style that would be associated with the creatures and myths that pepper the story. I'm incredibly excited to see what comes from the upcoming movie.

Welcome To The N.H.K

While it may differ between its three formats, the core of the story stands strong. Impossible to put into words, it's more of a descent than anything. A descent that turns inwards on each of the characters as they slowly lose their grip on reality, as they continue to fall apart, piece by piece. I have my qualms about how they choose to end it, but I am a very bitter man at my core so it's more a personal difference than a quality one. Regardless, if you want an acid trip down the rabbit hole of depression, mania, bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, and all manner of other illness, there's no better story than Welcome To The N.H.K.

Toradora!

There's something special about Toradora to me. Is it the era that the anime comes from? Is it the appeal to a classic style of romance without falling prey to the issues of the layout? I'm unsure. But something about it feels so… comfortable, to me. I could watch it again and again and enjoy each minute. It's probably not the best romance anime out there, but it's one that I'll always be drawn to.

And with that, the list is over. Just to provide some extra context and honorable mentions, I'd love to have put series like Alien 9 or Monogatari on the list, but the challenge with them is the fact that the first is a shorter OVA, and the latter is a much larger series encompasses nearly too much to explain in this sort of context. There's really quite a few series like that that I struggled with when forming this list, but they're still really great titles nonetheless.

Anyways, the anime original point. While it's sort of an unconscious thing, I do realize what I do with it. Anime originals present something that you can't experience elsewhere. They are the end all be all of their creative vision, and that excites me more than a manga adaptation. Following someone else's blueprint vs creating your own, obviously one is more interesting than the other. And that sentiment extends to some of the other titles on the list like Heike Monogatari which approaches a classic story with a radical new viewpoint, or Tanya The Evil which basically forgoes the vast majority of its source material. It's really something I struggle with at large with adaptations. So many people want to leave their marks on the work, but quit just short of doing so in a meaningful manner. Very few go the mile to say that they did something in regards to the work, and instead meddle with it in minor ways which can negatively impact its reception as the original material. A great example of valuable changes is Heavenly Delusion. The team under Hirotaka completely re-arrange the order of events in the anime, and in doing so elevate the series in a way that only they can. Anyways, I digress, a discussion that I should leave for another time. This is my list, it may not be the best list out there, but it is mine.

[tumblydovereviews]

In Defense of Caillou

Growing up, my family was one of the very few who weren't avid members of the Caillou hate wagon. It was, and still is, one of my dad's favorite shows that I watched as a kid, and he was genuinely surprised when I revealed to him all the hate the show has managed to amass. I watched plenty of Caillou as a kid, and I'm happy to report that I came out perfectly normal, if not a bit energetic for my age.

Yes, Caillou is not a perfect show by any means. With the characters having little-to-no personality outside of existing in this hairless child's kingdom, annoying voices, and the infamous tantrum scenes, it's no wonder why this show has become so hated, and still is to this day. But I don't think I'm being too generous when I say that Caillou has some merit to it that I feel is overlooked by the general public.

Contrary to public belief, Caillou isn't actually a lonely cancer patient or an alopecia victim- he is actually based off a French book series that originally depicted him as a baby rather than a toddler. To make sure kids could still recognize him even with the age increase, it was decided that Caillou would remain bald. In my personal opinion, I think the creators made the right call. Young kids are still learning how to recognize differences, and chances are if Caillou did have hair, the sudden change in appearance would be overwhelming. It may be weird to us older people, but to kids, keeping Caillou as recognizable as possible was a serviceable move.

A lot of people tend to forget that Caillou is a four-year-old, which is surprising considering that it is established in the literal first line of the theme song (I'm just a kid whose four.) Being four, Caillou is destined to have tantrums, moments where he acts bratty and less than a saint. The real issue comes with the lack of emphasis on condemning the behavior and instead focusing on solving rather than learning. Caillou's parents are the original permissive parents, and one could compare them to the overly gentle parents that exist on TikTok. They rarely call out their son when he does act out and instead dismiss his behavior to the side. The 2020s revival series does a much better job at balancing gentle fairness with firmness. When Caillou or Rosie misbehave, they are scolded for it while also steered in the right direction in an imaginative way, arguably more creative than Boris or Doris' tactics in the original show ever amounted up to being.

Caillou has surprisingly great representation for a preschool show in the 90s, especially in terms of disability and other medical conditions. The show features episodes spotlighting deafness, Down syndrome, autism, wheelchair usage, and even Type 1 diabetes. The episodes in particular talk mainly about how the chronically ill/disabled character is still able to function perfectly normally, even with the condition they have. As a diabetic myself, the episode Emma's Extra Snacks always stood out to be, even before I was officially diagnosed. Diabetes representation and the stigma surrounding it is an issue that not many pieces of media discuss, and I'm happy that Caillou has the courage to tackle a subject that can and has been botched so easily.

And let's not forget the puppet segments, arguably the best part of Caillou. These puppet segments focused on three of Caillou's furry companions: Gilbert the cat, Rexy the T-Rex, and Teddy the teddy bear as they go on miscellaneous adventures around Caillou's house. My personal favorite of the trio was Gilbert and his 'odes.' The segments, while on the more basic side, provide a good enough distraction from Caillou's escapades, even if only for five minutes, before we were forced to go back to the bald boy's basic ballads.

While writing this post, I came up a post online asking if people would rather have their kids watch Caillou or Skidibl Toilet. If faced with a decision like this in real life, I'd turn on Caillou in an instant. Caillou has done a lot of bad, but deep down, we can't forget that the show's main intention, no matter how botched it ended up turning out, was to teach kids about life. I would much rather live in a world with mildly annoying preschool shows than brain rot which serves no purpose but to gradually disintegrate a person's cognitive functions.

He's just a kid who's four, and each day he grows some more, so I think that we need to start growing on him, just a smidge more.

[gladiatorcunt]

Didn’t know you were a kpop fan babe 😧 Kinda not surprised, but still… Your faves?

“kinda not surprised” erm

(i got into it like around 2015 and i typically go for 3rd gen to earlier when it comes to music, also i don’t interact with any fandoms on social media anymore since i’ve gotten older (and i don’t rlly keep up with the idols themselves) beyond what edits i see or what gets so popular i have to see it on my fyp)

red velvet (my girlies)

loona (haseul could’ve been the baekhyun of loona if they used her properly beyond 1 line)

exo (masterclass in discography and actually being a capital i idol but also mess and mismanagement, arguably a big part of some of their issues is the tension between sk and china, etc.)

vixx (still a fair bit underrated imo when you consider how long they’ve been active, their vocal ability, being known for their concepts, like ughhhhh leo is one of the only idols who i will be like ‘that’s my husband and we have 6 kids <3’ about)

monsta x (very solid discography, talented, rappers that genuinely have something which there a lot of rappers in kpop groups just bc they’re trying to get appeal, still mildly irritated over the wonho thing bc the way companies deal with stuff like that when the idol is innocent is just so annoying. queen is one of the best bsides in kpop history.)

ramble under the cut

honorary shinee (jonghyun is my golden standard male vocalist), boa, snsd, sunmi, btob mentions

unfortunately jay park is cute and i do like mommae, dean’s like one album he did (i didn’t listen to the other one if that even was a full second album), i used to fw hyuna but she’s pissed me the fuck off

fave time out jail ig: bts (just really grew out of being into them ig since boy with luv came out, some of their tiktok fanbase proudly bullying people and how i feel about the quality of their music now (missing house of cards type quality) + the western validation debate + being on tumblr when people made jungkook’s whole personality at 19 yrs old being goo goo ga ga over banana milk and having a noona kink)), nct (the t*eil thing, but imo if people like that want to hide then they will so i think at least some of the members didn’t know, i don’t keep up with that so i’m not sure if any other info has since come out. i believe he did it with how things are rn and as a csa survivor i just feel a bit gross with being overly supportive of them)

and then there is the can of worms that is the group named after colors (another case where imo they were better earlier on, playing with fire >>>>)

i don’t really have any 4th gen faves, i love ateez and i like some stray title tracks (as in random not stray kids lmao) & bsides from groups here and there

i have mixed feelings about 4-5th gen (imo music is not the focus so much as international reach and social media presence), riize (wonbin is so fine though like sm employs pretty boy idols and refuses to manage them properly) and new jeans (i really wished i liked their music because literally everyone else does), ive’s title tracks are pretty solid (i don’t know anything about their bsides), le sserafim is ehhhhhhhh (i think i literally only like anti fragile + they do need to improve technically for me), enhyphen (i will say is the closet to being a fave for me because i eat up their obsessive songs that are apparently about their webtoon???????? and that one jyp cover (i assume bc he was there) bangs, also again they’re fine 😖)

for the life of me i can’t fully commit to aespa but their concept is cool (and the lore should stick to them and not be attached to every sm group imo)

talking about the songs i like & listen to regularly/industry opinions is a different discussion (that i dipped into too much here) i fear so i’ll shut up!!! i could probably get back into it if a company debuted a group and was like ‘안녕하세요! we are D.I.L.F!’ and the members are all at least in their mid 40’s and they groan when they try to bow