#fail unexpectedly

[marlynnofmany]

Finger Talking

Captain Sunlight had said that these clients didn’t speak any trade language she’d ever learned, and as I caught sight of the two intelligent being who looked like the end result of what happens if hummingbirds nudge into anteaters’ ecological niche, I didn’t find that hard to believe.

They were green-feathered, flightless birds, with long beaks, longer tongues, and clawed feet dexterous enough to type out messages on the big keyboard they had laid out on the ground. It looked like the kind of thing I would have danced on as a kid. I pretended that I wasn’t imagining doing that now, as the shorter of the two sent a message onto the display screen that they wanted to haggle.

Mur stepped forward, tapping my ankle with a tentacle to say he had it covered. “Oh, you want to pay more? Double price, please.”

The beaky birds were of course grumpy about this. The short one typed quickly in a fashion that I was amused to realize was hunt-and-peck.

I looked down at Mur, who was cheerfully braiding grass with two tentacles, and waving several others like he was conducting an invisible squid orchestra. He was enjoying himself.

The screen beeped that the message was ready. It read, “We know our rocks are valuable to you. Ten barrels of your rocks for each barrel of our rocks.”

Okay, I hadn’t actually known the price that had been set ahead of time for this little exchange. These folks didn’t use standard currency, so when they sent out a request via random traveler for someone to bring them coal — something that was scarce their planet — in trade for shiny rocks that they had in abundance, Captain Sunlight had gone for it.

And if the rough gemstones bedazzling the cart that these birds had come in were any sign, we were about to make a very good deal no matter what the exchange rate was.

Mur said, “Two for one is already pretty generous. I’ll raise it to three, how about that?”

The birds conferred with each other briefly, making noises that echoed like someone trilling their tongue down a long tube — which was a pretty accurate description of what was happening, really. The short one typed in a reply.

I caught a glimpse of “8 for 1” before the alien technology did what technology everywhere does best: it failed unexpectedly. The screen spasmed wild patterns before going dark, and no amount of punching the keys made it light up again.

“Hm,” Mur said to me. “This could put a crimp in things. Maybe we should call Coals or Trrili?”

“They mostly do written translation,” I said. “And Trrili doesn’t strike me as the tactful sort.”

Mur twirled a tentacle to say I’d made a good point, while the birds tried to revive their tech with no luck. “I guess we just throw out numbers until we hit on something they look happy with,” he said. “This is going to be rough.”

“It shouldn’t be too bad,” I said. “At least they’ve learned the language, even though they can’t speak it. Honestly, I’ve had worse conversations before my vet training covered Gorilla Sign Language.”

He looked up at the unfamiliar word. “Nationality?”

“Species. Long story. Remind me to tell you about Citizen Animals on Earth.”

The birds were starting to disassemble the keyboard casing, using their claws like precision tools (though the tall one gave me the impression that more vigorous smashing was an eagerly-anticipated Plan B). They looked up when I stepped forward, holding up fingers.

“Five for one.” I flicked the fingers one at a time to count. “Five of ours, for one of yours.”

They caught on immediately, and luckily for all of us, they had the right number of talon-fingers to make this primitive conversation work.

Mur was no help, standing two steps back and holding up excessive numbers of tentacles, entertaining only himself. The birds and I managed to ignore him.

We settled on seven-for-one. I could have pushed for six, but I felt bad for them, and anyway I knew that we had the coal already portioned out into fourteen crates. The math was easier this way.

As we walked back toward the ship, to start bringing out the crates that Blip and Blop were unloading at the door, Mur chuckled beside me. “That was fun. I want to come up with ways to communicate like that more. Maybe cheating at table games.”

“I’d offer to teach you some actual sign language,” I said, “But everything I know is designed with fingers in mind.”

“That’s okay. I don’t need proper language to beat the scales off Eggskin. C’mon, it’ll be great. I’ll win several rounds in a row, they’ll get annoyed and demand to know how, I’ll explain, then refuse to give any winnings back. Perfect plan. Great times.”

I had to smile at that. “We’ll see,” I said. “First let’s finish the actual business.”

“Yep, yep, can’t forget that,” Mur agreed. “Maybe we’ll play table games with expensive rocks as tokens, like the high-society snobs we all are.”

“Sounds like great times to me,” I said.

~~~

The ongoing backstory adventures of the main character from this book. More to come! And I am currently drafting a sequel!

[guardian-of-da-gay]

inspired by this post cuz the only thing I love more than my OP blorbo losing it and going apeshit is my OP blorbo losing control completely

also this is my first Sonic fanart yay

[pioneer-over-c]

aideeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeennnnn

[yinwaryuri]

Why did it take me nearly 24 hours to realize that Jaab and Jeng have the same method of showing affection?

[truly-quirkless]

[@themultiversebundle | Plotted in DMs!]

It had been a rather quiet day, yet again..so Fin and Yagi had decided to walk about town. The tall blond still got a few odd stares, and every now and again, someone would walk up wanting an autograph. It had taken the world time to get used to Yagi as he was now- and while the whispers of 'the Symbol of the Dead' weren't exactly welcome...it was better that than All for One in the streets.

"What do you say to dropping by Smoothie King before we head back to the school?" Yagi's suggestion hadn't been in the air for more than a second when he bumped into something- or rather, someone. He took a stumbling step back, his smile instantly transforming to apologetic as he raised his hands. "Ah- sorry about that! I didn't mean to bump into you."

Huh....Fin wasn't exactly the best at Heroes, but this one...didn't look familiar. They'd seen a few ever since their rise in Hero society, but they had yet to see one that looked so...robotic? It wasn't like Ingenium or his younger brother, Ida- this felt...different.

Their eyes flickered towards the nearby store the stranger had stepped out of- revealing an interior beyond the door that very much wasn't what could be seen through the glass. They immediately jumped towards it- but the door slammed closed before they could catch it.

"Shit...!"

[saints-who-never-existed]

"Seconds in command are a fascinating, if somewhat doleful, bunch: their labour is often as great, or greater, than those under whom they serve, and their character is less often blemished by egoism and hubris. After all, if it had been, they'd never have lasted very long in such a nearly commanding position. Sometimes, however, when the firsts are fallen, the story of the seconds takes on a grim and strange fascination: we yearn to see how they will perform when the mantle of responsibility is fitted to their shoulders."

Russell Potter reviewing Smith's 'Captain Francis Crozier: Last Man Standing?'

[askthehospitalghost]

"Hello, people in my cellular device. I have come to ask for advice."

"How does one explain to the legal system that I am not doing identity fraud, and this is actually my tax information. I am not committing tax fraud, I am unfortunately just dead."

"...and want pretty clothes..."

"...and stuffed animals."

"...also a pool noodle, some foundation and some liquid latex. For purely scientific reasons, of course."

"Send help. Or gift cards. This isn't a scam, I promise."

Ask blog status: open

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[clowningcrows]

accidentally took a fairly objective step away from myself today and went. oh shit. i’m like REALLY hard on myself aren’t i?

[xx-vergil-xx]

everyone go watch dave made a maze right now

[falling-hand-in-unlovable-hand]

what the fuck was this january

[fluffybunnybadass]

so, funny story

have finally looked up/found the reason why reddit has been acting up the way it is, and WHY several "obviously this would exist publicly" communities were unavailable to me awhile back when i was like, trying to look up a few things wrt gamecube and before that something that involved trying to get into r/playstation-like channels? or whatever? and i was just like "what the fuck??? this MUST be some weird glitch again like that one time" and then it never went away

then a few days later i started seeing all the welcome redditors posts and i was like "okayyyy......? idk what happened but i'm sure i'll find out thru dash osmosis like with literally anything twitter"

and then i never did

so whatever my last rb or so was was finally what made me go "what the fuck actually happened idgi im so fucking done with everyone talking about what happened WITHOUT ACTUALLY SAYING WHAT HAPPENED WHAT THE FUCK"

.

.

.

and now i know why my previously handy-dandy question-answer service is currently experiencing so much difficulty. which sucks. because it was seriously the best way to find the answer for various things that were over a decade old and google stops giving you proper fucking result pages nowadays so "just google it" is a fucking invalid response to a question anywYs in the first fucking place ON TOP OF THE INABILITY TO FUNCTION AS IT ONCE DID--

anyways. i hope the protests win out so i can rely on something again, bc i had FINALLY found reddit useful and beneficial for something and then the site had to up and go ruin that--

[humbuns]

Not sure if this will interest people but after catching up with nb and letting this simmer in my head for a while, I kind of want to look at the parallels between these two so I will ramble:

As og tags point out, Lucifer's existence must severely look like a big contradiction to Luke. I imagine the Celestial Realm must have hit hard on the message of the supposed wrong he and his brothers must have done contradicting their Father's wishes, and if we are following actual biblical lore, it will be one of the first few instances where sin was introduced into the realms. (The sin in this case was free will, a concept that must have been foreign to them) So it's a given they would constantly talk about what started and what ended that day. It's important to learn from history's mistakes in order not to repeat them.

So we have an angel (a child) who is being taught about a hero and a villain. One of heaven's highest blessings, a kin of your kind, betraying your family and everyone you love and becoming the being you are innate to hate.

Then you meet him. You want to hate him. You HAVE to hate him, but you can't. Not when you see how much he cares for his brothers. Not when you see your own pseudo-father/brother also silently mourning and rejoicing his passing and rebirth. Not when you see how truly tired he is. Especially less when you find out what was the reason for his fall (Protecting his family, your family.)

As much as he was born and taught to fight evil, Luke was also raised to love and care. He hates demons, but how is he able to pick a side without holding doubts when he develops a connection with said enemy? How can he blindly follow what he was raised to believe when it's not so clear cut to pick a side as he thought it was? (He would still stay with Simeon and the rest of the angels, however, because it's safer and it was the role he was assigned too,  he doesn't want to disappoint)  It's easier to judge from a distance after all, because you don't have the attachment to be hurt by then.

But now Luke is attached, he has the weirdest estranged uncle(s) who has an awful personality and teases him yet they will both care so much (Neither will admit it, because again, it's safer that way).

They were taught to be so different, yet they are the same kind, and for an angel who still has many centuries to learn while a former one has lived long enough to understand, it must be straining. They would want to interfere in their lives, but they just can't. It's why Lucifer detaches himself from any one who wants to approach him ( e.g. MC, Simeon and Diavolo) and Luke insists he doesn't understand demons (almost to the level of ignorance) because it's just less of a risk of hurting themselves and more importantly, others. 

They are both a constant reminder of the burden and failures of their existences. They can't escape it.

birds of the same feather?

[krawdad]

I had just bought a new battery for my tablet pen now the screen has crapped out

[gojosprettyprincess]

Boyfriend Yuji who's obsessed with your boobs!

Both are twenty ⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪

“Yuji! Can you stop fucking staring at my breasts for a second and actually listen to me!” your glossy lips formed into a angry pout as you glared at him with annoyance. Arms crossing furiously beneath your boobs—slightly lifting them, making your cleavage even more visible through your low-cut top.

You were babbling to him about some steamy drama that unfolded at your workplace today but it seems like his absent mind had taken interests in something else.

It's like his eyes had an invisible string connected to your tits that forced him to look every single second. His mouth slightly gaped in awe, mind running wild as he imagined what the mounds of flesh would feel like under his calloused palms—well unfortunately for you, he let his intrusive thoughts get the best of him today.

You yelped unexpectedly as he groped your soft tits together—squeezing them as if they were squishy stress balls, making both spills out of your top even more. Both of his hands were engulfing them, he started fondling with them like some sick perverted man but you quickly intervened before he got the chance to successfully pop them out of your top.

You quickly slapped his roaming hands away. “Yuji!, You fucking pervert!”. You furrowed your brows together as his ears turned crimson, he embarrassingly scratched the back of his neck, laughing as if it were funny.

“Sorry baby, they just look really soft and squishy all the time, can't help myself”. He chuckles, trying to play innocent as if his pants didn't just grow tighter after hearing you calling him a perv.

Yuji loves riling you up like this—seeing his hot, attractive girlfriend all pouty and angry, calling him filthy names that never failed to make his cock stubbornly hard and horny but he won't ever admit it.

[homunculus-argument]

There's heart failure, liver failure, kidney failure, all kinds of organ failures, but you know what's great? There's one organ that almost never unexpectedly fails: the biggest one. Your skin.

Imagine if you could just randomly suffer skin failure. If your skin could just fucking slouch off and drop to the floor.