#faaaake
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welele · 1 year ago
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Menos veneno que el chupito de tu garito de confianza.
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deathberi · 2 years ago
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Merry Christmas... •ᴗ•
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screampied · 7 months ago
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if I lose my ask progress one more time i am going to go insane !!!
hi bby its me @lxnarphase !!! (*´꒳`*) I couldn’t help but see something about kenjaku mentioned by an anon and just HAD to share my thoughts
SO HEAR ME OUT !! kenjaku and takaba duo
kenjaku is guiding takaba on how to touch you and make you feel good but poor takaba is just an overeager, messy, needy man who has been pent up all day and wants nothing more than to just slip right into your pretty cunt and rut against you until he creams inside of you
but kenjaku doesn’t let that happen, he’s mean and tells takaba ‘just the tip for now, fumihiko, don’t get too excited’ and evilly smiles when you both whine at the sensation of his sticky cockhead fucking in and out of you…
but let’s be so real, takaba cannot listen for the LIFE OF HIM and after a half-assed apology, he’s slipping all the way inside to the hilt, so wet and messy as he moans against your mouth about how good it feels to actually fuck you like this.
kenjaku just clicks his tongue and shakes his head, pulling takaba away from your mouth by his hair, that dark smile not leaving his face as he so smoothly coos at takaba for not being able to follow rules
‘can’t listen even a little bit, can you? listen to her, she’s so loud and pretty…aww, did you just drool down onto her cunt you’re so nasty to her pussy, fumihiko, I thought I was teaching you better than this, you dumb mutt’
im. im not sorry, i need them both dearly and needed to share this thought with someone (;ω;)
OMMGMGMGOGKGMGMG THANK YOU 🙇‍♀️
bc i kinda do wanna write for kenny one day esp since anons mentioned it to me 😞💪🏽
ur so real i love anything “just the tip” related
OHMYGODD??/8;9( a whole fic in my inbox bless ur heart im frothing ??? DOYOU WRITE FKR THEM ?? i need to stalk ur masterlist actually 😋
HELLOTHE ENDING. i love pussy talk like SO BAD you get me
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kamaradka · 6 months ago
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if the cisbian dtwof fans on this website were really committed, there would be 10000 more audio uploads of tracy chapman songs
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ghostlygravekeeper · 10 months ago
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Watching paranormal investigations when you used to be dead yourself is funny.
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thedreamparadox · 2 years ago
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youtube
Hey look what channel youtube plopped into my recommend today. Behold, fandom deep storage memories!
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anonimusunnoaniswriting · 9 months ago
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OH MY FUCKIFNBFBFDHJS GAODD eat HIM
EAT HIM
!!!!!!!!!!
Tentacle DADDY
Deadly Nightshade
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A Suguru Geto "sex pollen" fic.
Suguru swallows an aphrodisiac curse, and finds the reader when his entanglement becomes too much to bear.
Warnings: *MONSTERFUCKING*, Loss of control (Suguru), rough but consensual, throat-fucking, Suguru's cursed technique...but sexy, tentacle shibari, cum as cure
(AU!Adult Suguru who never left Jujutsu High timeline)
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"Will be late home. It's a big one. Go to sleep without me, baby. You'll be tired."
Suguru finished tapping, looking up to the abandoned industrial site with wary interest, slipping his phone back into his pocket. He felt beckoned into this concrete jungle in a way he found unsettling; the Curse was clearly disguising its true potential, hiding in plain sight...but calling in back-up (likely Nanami or Higuruma at this time of day) would only put them at risk. And, they were tired.
With an internal spiteful sting at having lost his evening with you, which Suguru suppressed, black eyes flat and expressionless, he stepped onwards into the plunging lush foliage and exposed steel beams.
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Suguru's apologetic text filled you with disappointed longing. Loneliness and worry quashed your appetite. All your hopes and plans for a soft, touch-filled evening curled up on the sofa with him, were wiped.
Sighing, lovelorn and resigned, you took yourself to bed, your face snuffled into Suguru's pillow and the soft-spiced smell of him, to lull you into sleep.
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Suguru staggered through the door, leaning back to close it, gasping, sweating, clawing his jacket and shirt off his body. He burned from within, like the nine circles of hell.
After swallowing the curse, the roiling forest had disappeared with it...but Suguru soon felt its many limbs stretching within him, caressing the deepest parts of him, blighting him with this ungodly pain--
--no...not pain, Suguru thought vaguely, now naked except for his hakama, beads of sweat dripping from chest to belly as he teetered towards the bathroom. White-knuckled hands clasped the sink-- Suguru caught himself in the mirror, ripples of desire thrumming through him with every frantic beat of his heart, his raven hair free of its tie and framing febrile eyes--
Suguru retched, his shoulders heaving with exertion, retching again, his rigid cock crushed against his thigh as he collapsed forwards, seeping pre-cum and shaking and moaning, thinking of you in your bed you in your bed you in your bed--
Out of control I'm out of control got to take it back got to--
Something in Suguru snapped.
The lights flickered out one by one, from bathroom to corridor, as an eldritch forest clawed its way back out of him.
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You awoke in a fever dream, your sigh condensing and hanging heavy and humid in the earthy hushhushhush of a tropical forest, teeming with life.
What a strange dream, you thought. You did not notice how this set you apart from true dreamers, who would not find anything unusual about waking on a bed of moss and monstera. The duvet felt warm and springy with foliage beneath your fingertips, your toes, your body.
You had slept, and these uncanny tropics had grown up around you. Not one surface was free of queerly animated vines, yawning tropical flowers, and thick verdant leaves. Unable to see where one room began and another ended, your little home suddenly stretched for miles and closed in on you all at once.
You stepped gingerly off the bed, your feet settling on dewy leaves, splitting the fine low mist that clouded there. As you stepped to the doorway, you did not feel the hissing black tendrils, more creature of the deep than plant, that reached longingly after your feet.
Led only by curious patches of bioluminescence, eerie and golden, you moved to the living room, blinking, certain you were ill. A familiar voice, soft and dangerous, came forth from the shadows.
"You're awake. Good. I'd have fucked you while you slept, but they wanted you squirming."
With a gasp and a cry, you felt yourself become intangibly bound and suspended, feeling the rush of smooth tendrils snaking around your chest and bare thighs, wrists and ankles. Wrists tied behind your back, and legs folded up until your heels touched the backs of your thighs, your legs spread, you hung at face level to Suguru, who stalked out from a patch of hazy light.
Suguru had always held a haunting grace, a soft, untouchable masculinity, an unwavering abstract sensitivity. But, approaching you now, his black eyes were flat, sharklike, predatory. He had not hunted you, but had, instead, waited for you on the outskirts of his web.
In only his hakama, fine black tendrils tattooed his skin, animating him as he panted, desperate and sweating. The tendrils seemed to be soothing him, stroking, constantly moving over his rigid cock, his chest, his throat. As your own tendrils began to offshoot from the black wet-velvet vines that bound you, creeping under your clothes, circling round your nipples and creeping towards your core, a whimper broke free from your throat.
"Shhhhh, shh, shh, I need you wet if you're gonna do this for me, sweetheart."
Suguru stepped to you as if you catch your voice in his hands, sliding one finger into your mouth, pressing down on your tongue. He shivered in contrary to the inferno inside him, gripping his weeping cock with a roughened moan. As Suguru stroked your tongue, he reached down to undo his hakama, letting the coiling vines pull them from his body.
Suguru pressed against you now, lifting your top so he could rut his weeping cock against your belly, still examining your mouth with his fingers. You felt them tremble against your tongue. The last shreds of your Suguru were the only thing holding him back from taking you with bruising force. The vines coiled through your top, your underwear, shredding, removing, until you were naked, suspended, entwined.
Suguru's black eyes feasted on you, one hand stroking his cock with an iron grip, pre-cum wetting his fingers, and the other hand grazing over you, stroking the peaks of your breasts, your ribs, slipping between your puffy lips to see how ready you were for him. Carnal instinct took over, and he pressed himself back against you, his cock leaping in his hand.
Suguru shivered again, skin to skin with you. He knew, instinctively, that the itch at the base of his skull would not-- could not-- become dormant until he had completely spent himself inside you.
"You know I wouldn't ask more of you than I know you can take," Suguru cooed, soft and persuasive against your lips. You felt a tendril slip over your mound, slipping between your wet folds and coiling snugly around your clit, massaging it, rolling it. You mewled into Suguru's mouth, and he swallowed it down hungrily, kissing your sighs and whimpers off your lips.
"Oh fuck, baby-- you feel so wet--"
With a jolt, you realised that Suguru's hands clasped you by the hips, nowhere near your core.
"You can't feel tha-- how can you--" Suguru bit your lip, punishingly hard and you squeaked as the tendril that pleasured you so tenderly squeezed your clit in reprimand, simultaneously.
"They're mine," Suguru hissed, "just like every godforsaken curse I swallow," and he pulled you lower so your core settled on his cockhead, the vines acting in symbiosis with him to drag your thighs apart, "just like you're mine. And you'll help me...won't you?"
You felt a thicker tendril snake up the inside of your thigh, ghosting at your entrance. With savage force and a growl of warning, Suguru ripped it aside, pressing his cockhead inside you just enough to prevent any other intrusions.
Suguru's orgasm hit him with obscene force and he collapsed into you, stuttering his hips just once, before cumming with a shout, his seed spattering into your entrance and puffy lips, dripping down your bound thighs in thick white streams. Suguru's moans elongated into staccato whimpers, before descending into a hiss of unbridled rage.
"That did fucking nothing," he growled, tangling his fingers into your hair, yanking your head to the side, sinking his sharp canines into the front of your throat. His cockhead still leapt just inside you, spurting weak trickles of cum, and Suguru almost cried to feel absolutely no relief from the burning need throbbing through his body.
You felt the vines squeeze around you, your nipples clamped and rolled until tears filled your eyes with ethereal blurred lights. Suguru reached his long arms behind you, grasping the tops of your shoulders to slam you down against him, impaling you, gasping and wildly overstimulated, onto his cum-lubricated cock.
The tendril rolling and flicking over your clit picked up speed, and you came, twisting against your restraints, crying Suguru's name. Suguru stared hungrily down to where he bottomed out in your pussy, watching and feeling it clench around his cock with shuddering bliss.
As the tendrils continued to work on your nipples and clit, your pleasure becoming frantic and painful, making you squirm and pull away from them, Suguru landed a stinging slap to your arse.
"Fucking take it. What good are you if you can't milk this thing out of me? More." Suguru lifted you just once, cruelly slamming you down again, warning you against your squirming, needing beyond need for you to clench around him again.
"Suguru-- please-- it's too much--" Your needy cries broke off into agonal gasps as you came again and Suguru's head dropped back, jaw slack as he felt your pussy clench and contract, sucking cum from him, surely enough to relieve him, surely--
"No, I-- no--" he panted, his eyes frantic, watching his seed leak out of you, now floppy and malleable in your corseting vines. Digging both hands into his hair, scratching at his own scalp, then moving his fingertips to his tongue to suck them with a ragged groan, Suguru grasped at straws for any stimulation to purge him of this monstrous need.
As he gripped himself, clutching and agonised, his eyes feverish, you could only moan stunted little moans as the vines around you lifted and dropped you, thrusting you savagely onto Suguru's length, still impossibly hard. You leaned forwards, kissing Suguru with urgency, trying to claw him back to you as his vines fucked you against him. He nipped at you, biting, no longer the gentle man you knew.
"Not hard enough-- shit, you can-- can do better than that--"
Finding some strength again, Suguru's hands dropped to your hips, kneading the plush fat there, trying to squeeze you around him, and he added to the strength of his vines, lifting and slamming you back onto him.
So lost were you both in chasing his release, neither of you noticed the forest around you gradually withering, fading and dying. The bioluminescence waxed and waned, throwing strange, marionette shadows around the room.
You were thankful for the embrace of the vines, unable to count how many times you had peaked from the constant stimulation of vines, masturbating you while Suguru kept your cunt and belly constantly filled. Suguru gasped and murmured into your neck, all unintelligible, unreasonable demands of you, and pleas for release.
As Suguru came with a ragged cry again, filling your aching pussy to the sound of wet, squelching thrusts, you felt the tendrils around your breasts and clit wither away, leaving your buds swollen and tender.
Suguru could barely stand, supported by a few remaining vines, still staring into you, so hungry but so spent. You felt him pull his cock out of you, dripping with his own seed, and you cried out to feel his cock replaced by a thick-tipped vine, pressing against your cervix, shunting his seed up into your belly.
Suguru's eyes rolled back to feel this bizarre vicarious pleasure, lazily letting the vine thrust his cum back into you, as the others twisted you, tilting so your back was parallel to the floor, your head tipped back, mouth level with his cock, still so red and aching.
"Is your throat tighter than your pussy?" Suguru pondered aloud, drunk and swaying with divine ecstasy as he fingered the sides of your jaw, slapping his cockhead against your lips and tongue. When you stuck out your tongue invitingly, swiping its tip across Suguru's slit, he gasped, shuddering and gritting his teeth.
"Let's find out," Suguru hissed, sliding his cock into your mouth, letting you taste your combined arousal, before thrusting with an injured moan into your throat, squeezing you, feeling the ridges of his cock move inside you as you gagged around him.
Pulling out enough to let you breathe, Suguru gripped you by the head and neck, grunting as he rutted into you, his pleasure doubled by his vine fucking his cum back into your pussy. Suguru's eyes fixed, fascinated, on the wet slip of this extra appendage inside you, how you reflexively humped against it as if it was his cock, how you mewled and whimpered at its intrusive tenderness.
As you twitched and shuddered, convulsing with overstimulation, Suguru came for the last time in a soundless gasp, his knees almost buckling beneath him as wave after wave of please rolled through him, washing away the dreadful, burning itch running through his brain and spine, leaving him exhausted, but finally un-fogged, finally in control.
With little warning, you were released from your bounds, and Suguru caught you, cradling you against him, and lowering you with a fractured groan to the floor. He sunk onto you, his mouth on your neck in prayer, kissing and soothing, blessing you with his relief.
"Would've died," he insisted, kissing your hair, your eyes, your nose, spooning you against him as the last remnants of this unwelcome forest embered away, rising like ashes on rising heat to fade into the night, "would've died-- died if you hadn't--"
You shushed Suguru, plaiting his fingers with yours across your chest as he shivered and heaved against you.
"Not...not your fault," you yawned, leaning into his kisses, "but like I keep telling you...you can't eat all of your problems away." Suguru laughed softly, nuzzling you.
"No...can fuck them away though, apparently."
Sticky and intertwined together on the floor, Suguru surveyed the cracked floorboards, the walls rended by vines, and trickles of damp running down from the ceiling. Lips puckering in dread against your neck, Suguru whispered.
"What, uhm...what do we tell the home insurance company?"
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By far the most unhinged thing I've ever written. I'll see myself out.
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unnamedsoul · 7 months ago
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I can't keep my cool with pretty boys
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putridangeldoll · 1 year ago
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homeless shelter life is. Interesting
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seasaalttrio · 1 year ago
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always interesting reading a post and seeing the comments evenly split between "this is fake and this totally normal human behavior proves it!" and "yeah i know someone just like this"/stories about other people experiencing the same thing
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andromeda0004uuu · 7 months ago
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Es como faaaak...¿por que me gusta tanto?
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londe-e · 10 months ago
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III DO IIII DON'T BE FAAAAKE 🗣 This was really fun to work on and see finish. It wasn't even meant to turn into a full colored piece. I just wanted to practice flow
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themosthatedbeingg · 3 months ago
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They kept his pond… his ducks his first creations … a duck model of his family back then father and him and Michale and the two other angels at the time , he had been so excited when he showed them off for the first time …; and they kept them.
That .. that threw him for a loop, he didn’t think his family even cared or they hated him too much to even consider being affiliated with him; after all the nasty thing the sinners have told him and blamed him for and then of course (despite his pride ) Adam’s words still stuck in his head .
He was the most hated being in all of creation .. why would they keep anything of his around.
“You Don’t you hate me like everyone else? — “ he couldn’t comprehend that , “I .. I am evil Michale.. I brought it into the world .. I am the reason it exists .. “
He wasn’t sure why he was blurting all of this out maybe it was the shock and surprise that his father .. his family might not Truly hate him after all this time , after all he had no way of knowing what was going on there .
All he knew of earth was his cults and the sinners that blamed him for their wrong doing . Eons of being told your a monster you start to believe it.
“.. it might have been better if you did Kill me..” he admitted , there was no anger in his words only tired defeat.
His war .. his war against heaven against his sentence , it had only been a protest but it turned into a battle his followers fighting for their right to remain home and if not home then simply a place on earth, and he had been so angry that his dreams and his ideas of fixing what he broke were casted aside .
The apple had truly been accident , he had no idea it was tainted that She .. that Roo had tricked him and Sunk her claws into him until it was too late .
“.. how are you this dumb..” he gave his twin an incredulous look, did.. did he really have to spell it out for him??
He shook his head and sighed, running a hand over his face even when he was trying to apologize it seemed to end in a argument .
He finally relented and pulled back a chair from the table between them and sat down heavily motioning for him to do the same , “ I was apologizing for earlier I really didn’t mean to bring up old shit.. and I was apologizing for snapping at you , I just .. I hate being told what my own intentions are ..I’ve spent eons being told that by sinners and your lot alike “
Why was he doing this? Why was he even opening up like this he was only going to get hurt again .
“Michael .. I don’t hate you brother, I think I’ve learned to accept what you did to me ..war is unkind to everyone but if this is going to work if Charlie’s dream is going to work I think we need to work together .. despite .. our issues “.
He knows he most likely won’t ever get an apology and the hurt and distrust will stay forever but at least for now the hatred is gone. It felt like a weight was taken off his chest .
“You’re still allowed to hate me though..” just like all of heaven does just like all of creation does, he is the most hated being after all who is he to take that away .
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flightyalrighty · 3 months ago
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I still can't get over Karl Marx.... Maria love das capital....
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FAAAAKE COMMUNIIIIIIIIIIIST
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mj-102009 · 3 months ago
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Million to One (Colby Brock x oc)
Summary: After rising through the youtube ranks of a paranormal investigator, Avery Denim meets Colby Brock and quickly gets what the hype was about.
Warnings: Cheesy, alcohol, ghostes?
Words: 5363
Masterlist
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I watched the video again with a shaky breath in and out.
Andee looked around the room, her eyes brave but her body betrayed her fear. “Is anyone here?”
I didn’t glance up from the spirit box in her hands, keeping lazer focus on the device.
By my side, Eve had the camera trained on my face, she reached out and tapped my arm. “You good?”
I nodded. “Yeah, I just…I feel off.”
On the floor across the rem pod, Callum raised an eyebrow. “Avery with an off feeling is never good.”
Andee asked one more question. “How did you die?”
My feeling expanded in my chest and forced its way out my throat into words. “Polio.”
Everyone sucked in a breath and no one moved an inch. 
“She’s right.”
The crack of the spirit box had everyone jumping to their feet and yelling.
The clip ended with my “not surprised but very much dizzy” expression.
The video had been posted to tiktok over a week ago and had received over 57 million views and 5 million likes; shooting our 800,000 subscribers on youtube to nearly two million. Most of the comments circled around “Avery is so psychic” or “faaaake asf” (Although I’ve been too afraid to go through it too much).
“Well,” I announced to my phone, the instagram live was filled with more viewers than normal. “What do we think?”
Most of the comments were good, the bad drained out by enthusiastic greetings. I had the phone propped up on the water bottle as Eve and I struggled to make dinner.
“Where’s the ramen?” I asked, she leaned over and poured the noodles into the sauce.
“Avery, someone wants to know when the full video will be out.”
I hummed and thought. “Hopefully next week– unless I get busy.” She set out bowls and we sat at the table. “Wanna tell em’ where we’re going next?” I asked
“Not particularly,” She mused with a wry smirk. “I have to finalize shit before we can announce it.”
I sighed and shook my head at the live. “I tried.”
She chuckled and looked through the chat. “Is Avery okay?”
I spread my arms wide and did a mini twirl. “I’m vibin’”
“Yeah, guy, that video was filmed a few weeks ago,” Eve told them. “We’re at the very end of editing before we can put it out.”
“Hopefully,” I crossed my fingers. “Andee and Callum wanted to go out while we’re here– tonight I think.”
Eve bobbed her head. “Oh we’re definitely going out while we’re in Vegas.”
I put my hands up and danced in my seat. “Paaaarty!”
“GET IN LOSERS WE’RE GOING OUT!” I shouted out the window of my car, Eve whooped and waved in the passenger side.
Andee walked out in all her glory with Callum on her arm; she had on a knitted shirt over a black crop top with a mini skirt; he was wearing jeans and a black long sleeve shirt; Eve was in a yellow crop top and a white skirt; and I had on a black mini dress and navy heels. The three of us girls had on various amounts of makeup and different hair styles– I had my hair curled (courtesy of Eve’s skills) with lip gloss.
Eve whistled slowly and got out to open the door for them. “Got everything?”
She nodded and they buckled, I put in the GPS and left their airbnb. “Is Cal driving home?”
“Yup,” He nodded. “I’m going on water the whole time,” He ended that with a heavy sigh.
We laughed at him and Andee peppered his check with kisses (but still giggled). “Where are we going again?” She asked.
“It’s called Mandy’s,” Eve said over her shoulder. “It sounded pretty chill.”
I huff a breathy laugh. “Your lack of information is so very reassuring.”
“It’s not,” Callum chimed in over his phone.
“It’s not,” I agree.
We watched as Eve had her torso thrown drunkenly over the counter to talk to the bartender. Andee was shaking her head while I cackled and filmed her to show her later.
“Should we stop her?” I mused once I had my blackmail.
Callum shrugged. “We’ll watch her.”
I shot them finger guns and stood up to go to the bar– opposite to where my idiot friend was. “Hey!” I shouted to the bartender over the loud ass music, the woman came over and leaned towards me. “Can I have another one of these?” I showed her my empty whiteclaw, she nodded and reached under the counter for the fridge.
I turned to walk back to my table and my head knocked right into someone’s collarbone.
Now listen.
I’ve never tried to be tall– because I’m not (5’4 gang can we get a whoop). But the split second before I was ashamed, I was trembling under this tree of a man.
“Shit!” I exclaimed, jerking back. And in slow motion I felt my foot catch on the bar stool and I began to slip.
The man yelped as well and quickly caught my shoulders to keep me up. “Holy shit, I’m so sorry!”
I straightened myself and waved my hands quickly. “You’re fine, my fault– completely.”
When I looked up to see what walking muscle man I’d stumbled upon, I was rendered speechless. “Oh my gods– you’re Colby Brock.”
For a moment something akin to panic flickered across his face before he rubbed the back of his neck and nodded. A smile on his face that didn’t seem to reach his eyes. “Hi, yeah, nice to meet you.”
“My friend is such a huge fan,” I told him. “She’s definitely out of commission right now but she’ll cry when I tell her about this tomorrow.”
He laughed and studied me with a smile that had slowly turned genuine. I moved out of the way so he could lean on the counter beside me. “You look so familiar.”
For a moment I was flattered then I remembered the video and common sense reminded me: ‘Well no shit the paranormal investigators have seen the viral video about the paranormal.’
“Oh I do some investigating with my friends,” I vaguely point to our booth, cracking open my can. “If we weren’t in a fuckin’ bar I’d talk shop but I don’t want to ruin your ni-”
“No no no,” He waved his hands in dismissal. “You can’t leave until I can remember where I know you from.”
I burst into bubbles of laughter. “Okay, do you want a hint?”
He shook his head and narrowed his eyes at me. “Shit it’s so close– what’s your first name?”
“Avery,” I answered amused.
“Fuck!” He exclaimed, smacking the counter lightly . “From Miracle Chasers– Sam was talking about you the other day.”
I blinked and grinned. “Seriously? That’s wicked.”
He was still pouting. “I should have gotten that sooner, I’ve been tagged in your video a billion times.”
“It still makes my head spin,” I take a long sip of my drink. “But you guys are crazy awesome, Eve takes so much inspo from your editing style,” I gushed. “But you did give her the idea of the Conjuring house.”
He fake winced and told me. “Sensitive subject, man. I think it’s intense but definitely worth it,” Then he added on. “Just don’t go more than once– then it gets not worth it.”
I laughed and shook my head. “I’ll send her with y’all on your next trip there.”
“I’m sure we could all do something,” He suggested. “We hear you’re a bit of a psychic.”
“Oh we could totally do something soon,” I agree. “I’m not so sure about my abilities,” I chuckle. “I have zero control over when they come.”
He huffed a laugh. “How about I go introduce you to Sam and we can exchange socials?”
“Sure,” I nod and glance at our booth where Andee and Callum were gawking at me, I shrug and give them a ‘wait there’ gesture.
He ordered a whiteclaw and we made a playful argument over the superior flavor until we were in front of a booth with a few people in it.
Sam looked up and saw Colby first. “What took so long, brother? I almost called you,” he laughed before looking at me.
“Well I ran into a new friend,” He introduced me to the table. “This is Celina, Kris, and Sam.”
I waved and smiled. “Hey, nice to meet you, I'm Avery.”
Sam had to do a triple take. “Well I know who you are,” He shook his head in shock. “Sit down,” He insisted. “This is so crazy I was literally just talking to Celina about your channel.”
I slid into the booth beside Kris and Colby sat beside me. “We were just passing through before heading to California.”
Celina laughed. “What a small world.”
“I was talking about maybe doing an investigation with her and maybe her team one of these days,” Colby told them. “Maybe two for both channels.”
I nodded. “We’d be down for sure.”
Kris sighed. “One of these days it’ll be Sam, Colby, Kris, and Celina on that youtube title,” She shook her fist ruefully.
We all chatted and joked around for a while before Callum came over to grab me. “Hey, we’ve gotta dip before Eve jumps the bartender’s bones,” He said to me, trying not to fanboy.
I laugh and rub my forehead. “Oh my gods of course she is.”
Colby stood up and let me get out. “It was nice to meet you.”
“You too!” I smiled at him then the rest of the table. “Text me when you want to do something.”
Sam gave me the thumbs up and said goodbye.
I walked out with a shitfaced Eve on my shoulders. “Let's go out to the car before I give you the good news.”
Eve stayed quiet. “Repeat that again,” She said in an eerily hushed tone.
“I met Sam and Colby yesterday,” I said skeptically. “While you were drooling over the bartender.”
She looked off into the distance with a dead expression. “Did they see me?”
I shook my head. “Nah, I made sure of it.”
“I might cry,” She whispered as she started to cry. 
Callum was wheezing. “They traded socials.”
The tears that were streaming down her stoic face were almost comical. “You met Colby fucking Brock and got his number?”
“And Sam,” I added under my breath.
She brought her hands to her face and whimpered. “Oh my god.”
Andee sheepishly rubbed her back. “We can still investigate?”
“It's no use,” She whined. “How am I gonna become Eve Brock if he saw hot stuff over here before me?”
I facepalmed and shook my head slowly. “Girl-”
“Do not fraternize with the enemy,” Callum said in a faux military voice. “Sam and Colby are one of the leading channels centering on paranormal activity; do not let the nice abs lead you astray.”
Andee saluted and I looked at Eve. “Don’t worry, I’m not gonna take your crush.”
“Long time no see,” I said into the camera.
Eve shifted the camera to show the two of us. “Welcome to the Miracle Chasers with Avery and I. Today I'm overjoyed to welcome Sam and Colby!”
The two boys jumped out on either side of us and started yelling enthusiastic greetings. “WHAT’S UP GUYS.”
We burst into laughter and they hooked their arms around my neck. Eve put the camera on the tripod to get all of us in the shot.
“We have been trying for weeks to make this happen,” Colby said, shaking my shoulders.
I threw up my hands. “Every time we were in America y'all were in Europe.”
Eve was standing with her weight on one hip. “This is our first time meeting,” She looked at the camera. “They met Ave at first but we’ve only talked over the phone.”
“But we’ve made time and now we’re in one of the most haunted museums in America,” I exclaimed.
We cut the cameras and began to pull out equipment while chatting and discussing plans for the summer. 
I sat on a bench with Colby as Eve spoke with the tour guide, with a deep breath I asked for my water.
“You good?” He asked, passing the bottle.
Clearing my throat, I nodded and said: “It's just so stuffy in here,” my eyes flicked over to Sam who was filming this. “I feel like there’s hundreds of people when it's just us– it's giving me a headache.”
“I have motrin in the car if you need it,” He told me as Eve walked over.
“We have like 10 minutes til they start the tour,” She said, tossing us our passes.
As we walked down the hall I looked at Colby’s shirt. “Is that our merch?”
“Yeah,” He affirmed, showing it off. “We bought it as soon as it came out.”
Eve beamed. “Avery designed this line.”
“Oh shit,” Sam said, checking out the print again. “Might have to pay you to do ours.”
I flush and wave away the compliments. “Thanks, but at the rate that you move around it will never reach you.”
“So this is a rem pod,” Eve explained to the camera before handing it off to Sam. “Anything within a two-ish foot radius will make it go off,” She tossed me and Colby a few cat balls to put around. “Cat balls– literally just cat toys Avery ordered off amazon,” She pulled out the ovilus. “This is our Ovilus, it takes words being spoken by spirits and spits it out for us,” She waved her hand at me. “And Avery but she’s just weird.”
I smack her on the back of the head. “Am not.”
Colby rested his elbow on my head. “Nah she’s right.”
“Shuddup,” I laugh, turning to help set up for the investigation.
And to hide the deep blush that had crawled up my cheeks.
Sam handed me an emf reader and we moved to the office to sit in a half circle. 
“1…2,” Eve sets up the camera and settles back into her spot. “...3– Now we have migrated into the office where the earliest owner of this hotel passed away due to unknown reasons.”
Colby poked my shoulder. “Unless Avery can figure it out tonight.”
I huffed a laugh. “No promises, my ‘abilities’ tend to come and go as they please.”
“And there��s not really any sort of training for psychics, is there?” Sam asks.
“Nope,” I shake my head. “I mean, I meditate and push myself when we go to these places; but there’s not much else we can really do.”
Eve turned on the rem pod and we took turns asking questions all went without answer.
“Was someone with you when you died?” I asked, rapping my fingers on the cold floor. “Your wife-?”
The rem pod lit up and beeped for a few seconds.
All three of my friends stare at me to which I shrug. 
“Did she kill you?” Eve asked.
The rem pod remained quiet.
“Anything?” Colby whispered to me.
I leaned back to whisper in his ear, and the smell of his cologne surrounded me. “I don’t think he wants to talk about what specifically happened.”
The rem pod beeped once and I groaned. 
Eve kicked my foot and stood up. “Should we try the hallway?”
“Suuuure,” I said, hopping to my feet and scooping up the rem pod. “Oh stop it,” I mumbled to the angry beeping and I walked into the hallway and set down the rem pod. I stepped back with the intention of grabbing something in the other room but noticed that the beeping hadn’t stopped. “Uhhhh guys?” Colby poked his head out and I pointed. “That’s not you.”
“That’s not me,” I agreed. “Get the camera.”
The moment Eve walked over with the camera, it stopped. I pursed my lips and shooed her back into the room.
It started up again,
She walked over and it stopped.
“It's messing with us,” Sam muses, kneeling next to the device to reset it.
I drop a few cat balls on the ground before rubbing my hands together and cackling dramatically. “Let's really start this investigation.”
“Yes I’ll have a large fry and a medium sprite– Eve get that shit out of my face–” I giggle, pushing the camera away. “Then two flurries and a 4 count meal.”
Colby elbowed me and whispered. “And a coke.”
I repeated this and confirmed the order. “McDonalds at 3am is not it for me,” I complained.
“Sam is asleep,” Eve whispered. “Be quiet.”
“I will honk this fucking horn,” I threaten jokingly. “Send me that video, I’mma post it on tiktok.” She hums and clicks away at her phone.
Colby yawns and puts his hand in my face, I giggle and push it away. “We’re staying at your place right?” He asks.
I nod. “Yeah Eve lives with a friend of ours and I’ve got a house,” She kicks the back of my seat and I snicker.
We pulled into the driveway of my house and Eve stretched. “Alright, that's my car,” She nodded to the jeep by the end of my driveway, before hopping out of my truck and getting her stuff from the back.
“Goodnight,” I told her, giving her a hug. “Tell Andee I’m still pissed she took my blanket home.”
She rolled her eyes and waved to Colby and also Sam but he was still barely awake.
“I have the last two rooms down the hall set up with new sheets,” I whisper quietly to Colby as I get my backpack and Sam’s bag. 
“Okay,” He says walking up the porch steps. I softly call out his name and toss him the keys as I walk over to Sam and poke him until he wakes up.
He groans and mumbles: “Are we at the hotel?”
I chuckle. “No we’re at my house, c’mon a bed has to be more comfortable than the seat.”
“I dunno, these seats are nice,” He stands up and follows me to the house.
 “There should be enough blankets,” I tell them. “The hall closet has a fuck ton if you get cold.”
Sam thanks me quietly before closing the door and seemingly going straight to sleep. Colby thanked me and took a blanket from the closet. “Are you sure you don’t want your bed?” He asks for the third time.
I shake my head. “Nah man, I usually fall asleep on the couch after investigations anyway.”
“But I feel bad,” He half whines.
“I’ll wake you up if I can’t sleep,” I tell him. “Good night.”
He sighed in amusement and waves slightly. “Goodnight Avery.”
I went to bed that night thinking about how I was going to break the news to Eve that I had a wee itty bitty crush on the guy she’s been dreaming of for months.
That morning I popped a tray of cinnamon rolls in the oven and began moving our camera footage to my laptop.
“G’morning,” An extremely tired voice grumbled.
“Morning,” I chirped to Colby, tapping away with my coffee in hand.
He walked into the kitchen. “Coffee?”
I nodded and pointed to the coffee maker. “There's creamer in the fridge.”
“Mmm,” He sighed, taking a deep sip of his coffee. “Whatcha doing?”
“Sending footage to Eve,” I tell him, using the back of my hand to push up my glasses. “Where are y’all going today?”
He shrugged and sat beside me. “I don’t think either of us want to do much today.”
My alexa starts going off with an alarm and I snatch up a kitchen towel to take out the hot pan. “Do you– shit!” I exclaim, dropping the pan on the countertop and shaking my hand frantically.
“Fuck did you burn yourself?” He asks, walking over to the freezer and walking back with an ice pack.
“Yeah, thanks,” I reply, looking at the angry red spot.
“Lemme see,” He says softly.
Without hesitation, I give him my hand to which he studies the quarter sized burn on my hand. We both go quiet as he cups my hand and squints at the mark. Once I had realized that he was holding the back of my hand oh-so gently, my breath stuttered and my ears burned with a flush.
“Does it still hurt?”
“Little bit,” I say softly. “Not as bad.”
He hums and lets go. “Do you need anything for it?”
“I don’t think so,” I chuckle. “I haven’t gotten burnt in awhile.”
Colby looks at the cinnamon rolls and shoos me back to my seat much to my protests. I watch– still reeling– as he opens a few drawers until he finds the silverware and grabs the knife for the glaze.
“No no,” I bat his hand away from it and drop it in the microwave. “15 seconds.”
“Why?” He asks, baffled.
“My mama always did it this way,” I explained. “I guess it just works better.”
He squints at me. “Are you from the south?”
I flush and laugh. “How did you know?”
“You said ‘mama’ with an accent,” He teases.
I amp up my accent and drawl. “Hey, pretty thang.”
“Pfft-”
“Don’t laugh,” I say through laughter.
“You’re laughing too!” He argues playfully, also laughing.
I trail off into a giggle. “You’re cute,” I commented offhandedly, turning to the microwave and taking out the glaze. 
From behind me, he looks away after a few seconds and clears his throat. “What time is it?” He asks, tapping my phone. “I’m gonna wake up Sam.”
“Okie dokie.”
“What are you doing awake?” I ask Colby at 10pm, feeling like a parent who just caught their child sneaking out of bed.
He shrugs and plops down beside me. “Can’t sleep.”
“Imagine how I feel,” I laugh under my breath. 
“Yeah,” He rubs his face. “We’re investigating a haunted hotel tomorrow and I can’t stop thinking about one of us getting hurt one of these days.”
I hum and nudge his arm with a warm smile. “I get it, I really do, after tonight I did have a serious thought of quitting,” I admit. “But then I thought of all the places I haven’t been to and all of the people who watch me for thrills like that. And it might not be the same for you as it is for me– but that’s what’s been keeping me on this course.”
He stares at me in what I thought was deep thought but instead- “God, you’re amazing.”
I flush furiously and stammer. “What?”
“I mean-”
“Thank you,” I amended quickly. “You’re amazing too.”
“Thank you,” He says quietly.
We sat in silence until I turned to him. “You don’t have a girlfriend right?”
He chokes on air and turns to me. “What?”
I immediately regret asking and backing up quickly. “Uhhhh-”
A gentle hand slides around my cheek and holds my head softly, I stiffen in surprise as I’m turned to look Colby in the eyes. “I don’t,” He answers me in a frail whisper. “Can I kiss you?”
“Yeah,” I whisper back.
The first kiss was feather light on my lips, just a soft brush that had me exhaling slowly and melting into his hand. I moved one of my hands to the one that was cupping my cheek, the other quickly found its place resting on his neck as I leaned forward for another one. The second one was more sure, confident, it brought butterflies into my stomach and shivers up my spine. He sighs happily and uses his other hand to angle my head to where he wanted it to be. I smiled into the kiss and softly twisted my fingers into the curl of his hair on the nape of his neck.
“Wow,” He comments softly as we break apart.
“Yeah,” I echo his surprise. “You’re so pretty,” I murmured, pressing a kiss to his cheek.
He chuckles and rubs my face slowly with his thumb. “You ready for bed?”
I hum and slide off the couch to the pullout loveseat beside it. “C’mere,” I demand softly.
“Okay,” He agrees with zero hesitation.
And we fell asleep like that, not caring that Sam had an alarm set long before either of us were going to wake up. That is until he started sending the photos into the group chat with Eve.
I nibbled on the thumb anxiously and waited. “Hello?” A sleepy voice grumbled into the phone.
“Andee,” I sighed. “I kissed Colby.”
“Pfffft- you what?” She exclaimed, suddenly wide awake.
I groaned and dropped my head into the hand that didn’t have my phone. “Dude, what am I gonna tell Eve?”
“Don’t?” She responded helplessly.
“Can’t, Sam send a photo into our group chat,” I tell her. “She hasn’t said anything.”
Andee was momentarily speechless. “Are you two dating now?”
I sighed. “I don’t know, he just left with Sam for an investigation.”
“If you want to date him I say go for it,” She tells me. “Just because Eve likes him– its a celebrity crush by the way, she’ll live– but if she does care then fuck her.”
“Andee!”
“I’m serious,” She insists. “Dude, I love you both but if Eve is so caught up in her feelings that she can’t be happy for you then just don’t give a shit.”
I listen quietly and stare at my counter. “I really like him,” I say softly. 
“Then date him.”
“Hey how was it?” I ask, stirring a pot of soup.
Sam enters the house and promptly runs to the bathroom making me look at the door for Colby. He strolls in and sets down a duffel bag of equipment on the table.
“It was good,” He shrugs. “Honestly a little bit boring but better than nothing.”
I shrug. “Could have been worse.”
“Mhm,” He walks over to me and peeks over my shoulder. “Broccoli cheddar?”
My cheeks burn as he rests his head on my shoulder. “Yup.”
“Yum,” He said lowly, still staying in the same spot.
We stand silently until I ask a question. “What is this?”
“What’s what?” He looks around looking for the product of my inquiry.
I turn to him and gesture between us. “This.”
“What do you want it to be?” He asks.
“I-I don’t do flings,” I say carefully.
“Neither do it.”
“I like you a lot.”
“So do I.”
We both stay silent.
“I want to be your boyfriend,” He says simply, playing with my fingers at our side. “I know I have a lot of wild fans, and that we’ve both got a lot of shit going on all the time. But I really like you and I think this could work.”
I watch his eyes shift over my face as they search for a reaction. I smile. “Okay,” I whisper.
“Okay,” He agrees. “Can I-”
I curl my fingers into the front of his shirt and yank him towards my lips into a kiss.
“Hey, what are we doing for- Holy shit,” Sam deadpanned from the hallway, we broke apart and I peek over Colby’s shoulder. “In the kitchen, seriously?”
“It’s my house, I can kiss my boyfriend wherever I want,” I joke with a silly voice. 
Sam sits at the counter and plugs his camera into his laptop. “Finally, you two have been flirting in the group chat for months.”
“Hardy har,” I laugh. “Dinner’s ready.”
Colby and Sam walk to the stove to make bowls while I grab my phone from off its charger.
Evie Jelly Beanie: hey I saw the picture and Andee told me you were worried about me being upset and I just wanted you to know that no matter what you and him decide I’m totally chill with it I’m your sister not your mom I don't care who you date
Me: omg lol tysm we legit js made it official
Evie Jelly Beanie: yw ave be happy with ur bf
That night I tell Colby about Eve’s little crush on him. “But this was all before we had more than like 10,000 subscribers,” I assure. “She doesn’t care anymore.”
He chuckles and kisses the back of my hand. “That’s good, the next investigation we do together would have been real awkward if she did.”
I laughed and curled into his side. “Shit, Colby, to think this all happened because we were both in the same place at the same time. What are the odds?”
hey its me your friendly neighborhood fanfiction writer i dont be a ton of sam and colby fics so i dont do a taglist but I fs take requests plus check out my masterlist for more tell me what you thought!
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kiwikakumei · 5 months ago
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yeah uh, it's been an hour. I got her to a third of her health and once she started throwing the double moon ballsack move I fucked off. I hope they patch this, fr. she is WAY Too strong. I'm being real salty. She a bitch.
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me: alright back to shadow of the erd--
rellana with her already loaded buckshot: :)
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