#extreme introvert shadow

[aealzx]

iiiiii have a want that I'm projecting into the universe. I got super attached to Happy's idea of Manic and Amy being childhood friends, and I've always loved Shadow and Amy being gal pals, and then I thought "Hey, what if I smashed those two ideas together? 8DDD"

All platonic relations between the three

I have no idea which sonic universe this would fit in ._.

I kept Happ's idea of Manic being an empath too. That's a permanent headcanon in my brain now, along with Amy and Manic being childhood friends =3=

Image text under the cut:

Team Gal Pal (a gal and her pals)

Manic: - childhood friends with Amy - met Shadow through Amy - hair is a third of his weight he has SO MUCH - cannot sit still, will play with anything in reach - yapper and listener

Shadow: - shares music tastes with both Manic and Amy - just like physical affection, so will often sit within Manic's reach - is the only one who can withstand Manic's emotional overloads - likes Amy's hair, it's soft - listener

Amy: - will sass Manic endlessly, but is more gentle with Shadow - took awhile to introduce them to each other, just spaced it - actually a little surprised how well they get along considering Shadow and Sonic's relationship -feels like she has two brothers now -yapper Manic + Shadow: - think each other is cool - share clothing interests - complain about Sonic together - will both stand back and cheer while Amy goes ham in a fight - play music together even though Sonic calls Manic a traitor for it

Amy + Shadow: - go to concerts together - watch romance dramas together - go shopping together - Shadow loves Amy's pampering, and tries to return the favor

Amy + Manic: - Manic tolerates Amy's pampering - squee over babies and babysit kids together - gossip pals - Amy is the only one who can tame Manic's hair

[lovetei]

Most of the time, MC views their friends and lovers as normal civilians, just people trying to get by. But, of course, there are times where they can't help but remember that they're the elites of the elites.

Lucifer's red eyes are glowing through the shadow casted by the dark alley where a low-level demon thought it would be nice to stand in his path, "Huh?" He mumbled to himself then scoffed "Huh." they sounded the same to you, but the way he looked down at the demon, it surely is different treatment from how he is to you.

It's insane how much Mammon treats other people. Sure, you've come with him to play in the casino before, but this is your first time entering a... Private room. And surely, this is your first time seeing someone, Mammon, go crazy while playing Russian roulette. His beautiful laugh boomed inside the room as his opponent is about to pull the trigger, the suicide shot. "Haaah, shit! This is the type of shit I live for!" He laughed as he nuzzled on your neck while waiting for his opponents brain to scatter on the wall.

You thought Leviathan is just an extreme case of introvertness, but obviously—it's not just that. "Yeah, yeah..." He mumbled, bored, as countless nobles came to greet the head of the navy. But there was this one interesting occurance, a noble that held his hand. Sure his composure was commendable but as soon as the noble turned its back, his hand covered his mouth and you saw a glimpse of him stick his tongue out as if vomiting. Your eyes widened. Soon, maids started hurrying to his side, changing his gloves and spraying his hands with alcohol. "Opportunistic pigs... I hate greed demons." You heard him whisper, obviously not intending for you to hear.

Satan was the type to stay calm and often as a gentleman, maybe to you only. During one meeting between some nobles though, he looked particularly mad. "You sure have a lot to say." He suddenly gave off a threatening smile as he fix his position on the seat, then all of a sudden—splat. That disgusting sound rang on your ears as the head of the noble was blown away and then you saw a familiar tail coming from under the table that pierced the nobles head strong enough for it to blow away.

[knoepfl]

Can you do Legoshi from Beastars with an extremely pessimistic, cynical, introverted, and antisocial fem! black cat reader of very few words who he meets when she's scouted as the new head writer since the President of the Drama was extremely impressed by her near-perfect grades?

Shadows and Stars

Characters:

1. Legoshi: A shy, introspective gray wolf in the drama club, empathetic but socially awkward.

2. Black Cat (Head Writer): A reserved, sharp-tongued new member with a guarded yet intense demeanor.

3. Louis: The confident, demanding red deer president of the drama club.

---

Trigger Warnings:

1. Social Anxiety: Depictions of awkward and tense interactions. 2. Loneliness: Themes of isolation and guarded behavior. 3. Stress: Characters under creative and interpersonal pressure. 4. Emotional Tension: Subtle, intense dynamics between characters.

Masterlist

Words: 1535

--- The morning light trickled through the half-open windows of the drama clubroom. Legoshi shifted uncomfortably as he adjusted a prop tree, his mind preoccupied with a myriad of thoughts. The sudden announcement from Louis the previous week had taken everyone by surprise—a new head writer had been chosen.

She had arrived earlier that day, slipping into the room with all the presence of a shadow. Legoshi watched her from the corner of his eye as she sat, barely speaking, her sharp gaze fixed on the scattered scripts before her. A black cat with an air of indifference, she radiated a quiet intensity that made even the most confident club members uneasy.

“Her grades are unmatched,” Louis had explained with his usual brisk tone. “She’s exactly what we need to elevate this production.”

Legoshi’s tail flicked nervously as he approached her.

“Uh... hi. I’m Legoshi,” he murmured, his voice softer than usual.

The cat glanced up briefly, her green eyes narrowing slightly before she returned to her work. “Okay.”

It wasn’t rude, but it wasn’t warm either. It was… curt, like she had decided he wasn’t worth more than a single syllable. He shifted awkwardly.

“So… um, you’re the new writer?” he tried again, his ears twitching as the silence stretched uncomfortably.

“Yes.”

Another sharp, clipped answer. Legoshi’s tail drooped. He wasn’t good at conversations on the best of days, but this was like trying to talk to a brick wall. Still, there was something about her that intrigued him—something about the way she seemed to carry a world of thoughts behind those short answers.

“Is there… anything you need help with?” he asked, trying to be helpful.

The cat finally put down her pen and looked at him fully. Her expression was unreadable, but her voice was calm and measured. “No. I’m used to doing things myself.”

Legoshi nodded, unsure if that was a dismissal. “Okay… I’ll just, uh, be over here then.”

She didn’t reply, her attention already back on the papers in front of her. He slunk back to his corner, silently berating himself for his awkwardness. But as the hours passed, he couldn’t help but watch her work.

Her movements were precise, her focus unyielding. She scribbled notes in the margins of the script, her handwriting neat and deliberate. Occasionally, she would pause to glance around the room, her sharp eyes missing nothing.

It was Louis who finally broke the ice—if only unintentionally.

“Legoshi, stop lurking and make yourself useful!” the deer snapped, gesturing toward the new head writer. “She needs the last script drafts from the archives. Take her.”

Legoshi’s ears flattened, but he obeyed. He shuffled over to her, mumbling, “Uh, we need to get the drafts. I can show you where they are.”

She stood without a word, gathering her things before following him.

The walk to the archives was silent. Legoshi felt like he should say something, but every time he glanced at her, she seemed lost in thought, her expression unreadable.

When they reached the dusty shelves of the archives, she finally broke the silence.

“This must be exhausting for you,” she said, her voice low but unexpectedly soft.

Legoshi blinked. “What do you mean?”

“All this social interaction,” she replied, glancing at him sideways. “It seems... draining.”

He hesitated. “It can be,” he admitted, “but I like helping people.”

She gave a small, almost imperceptible nod, as though she understood. They worked in silence for a while, sorting through the papers.

“You’re... different,” she said suddenly, her voice so quiet he almost didn’t hear it.

“Different how?”

She didn’t answer right away, her eyes focused on the script in her hands. Finally, she murmured, “Most people talk too much.”

Legoshi chuckled softly, a genuine smile tugging at his lips. “I guess I’m not most people then.”

For the first time, her lips twitched, almost forming a smile. It was brief, but it was there.

Maybe, Legoshi thought, as they continued to work together, she wasn’t as unreachable as she seemed.

---

The warm glow of the afternoon sun cast soft streaks across the dusty floorboards of the drama club’s archive room. Legoshi’s ears twitched nervously as he glanced at the black cat beside him. She was leaning against one of the towering shelves, her sleek frame almost melding into the shadows, her sharp green eyes scanning the scripts she had pulled from the stacks.

The air felt heavy. Legoshi shuffled his feet, his large claws scraping lightly against the floor. He wanted to speak, to break the suffocating silence, but her rigid posture and piercing gaze kept him rooted in place.

“Legoshi,” she said suddenly, her voice low and deliberate.

He flinched, startled. “Y-Yes?”

“You’re breathing too loud.” She didn’t look up, her tail swishing once before curling tightly around her.

“Oh. S-Sorry.” He ducked his head, his ears flattening as he tried to stifle the deep, instinctive breaths his body demanded.

For a moment, she said nothing, her expression blank as her eyes flicked between the pages of the script. Then, with a sigh, she set the stack down and turned to him fully, her hands resting loosely in her pockets.

“You’re... not what I expected,” she murmured, her tone unreadable.

Legoshi blinked, his tail curling awkwardly behind him. “What do you mean?”

“Most people are loud. Obnoxious.” She tilted her head slightly, her gaze narrowing as she studied him. “You’re... quiet. And you don’t stare.”

Legoshi rubbed the back of his neck, his claws grazing the fur there. “I-I mean, it’s rude to stare. And I don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable…” His voice trailed off, his body hunching slightly under her scrutiny.

Her lips twitched—a movement so subtle it might have been missed entirely. “Not bad,” she muttered, almost to herself.

“Uh… thanks?” Legoshi offered hesitantly, his hands fidgeting with the hem of his shirt.

She turned back to the scripts, her movements fluid and deliberate. The air between them settled into a tense quiet, though it felt less sharp than before.

---

Later, back in the drama clubroom, Louis was barking orders at the cast, his voice sharp and commanding as he directed a rehearsal. Legoshi lingered near the edge of the room, holding a box of props. His eyes darted to the black cat, who had returned to her corner with the same detached grace, her pen scratching lightly against the pages of her notebook.

Legoshi couldn’t help but watch her, his large, gray ears twitching slightly. There was something captivating about her—how still she was, like a predator lying in wait. She wrote with an intensity that made the rest of the bustling room feel irrelevant.

A loud clatter jolted him from his thoughts.

“Legoshi!” Louis barked, his sharp amber eyes boring into him. “Stop staring and do something useful.”

“S-Sorry!” Legoshi stammered, his claws fumbling with the box as he scrambled to set it down. His tail curled tightly around his leg as he ducked his head, trying to make himself smaller.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the black cat glance up, her green eyes briefly flicking to Louis before returning to her work.

---

Later that day, as the club emptied out, Legoshi found himself walking beside her again. She didn’t speak, her footsteps soft and deliberate against the pavement.

“I, uh, hope today wasn’t too stressful,” Legoshi offered, his voice barely above a murmur.

She glanced at him, her expression unreadable. “Why do you care?”

Legoshi hesitated, his shoulders hunching as he struggled to find the right words. “I… I just want to make sure you’re okay. That’s all.”

Her ears flicked back, and she looked away. “I’m used to stress. It’s not a big deal.”

He nodded slowly, his claws tapping lightly against his thighs as they walked. “I guess… but you don’t have to handle everything alone. Sometimes it’s okay to let people help.”

She stopped suddenly, turning to face him. Her gaze was sharp, her tail flicking behind her. “Why? Why does it matter to you?”

Legoshi froze, his ears flattening as he struggled under her intense stare. “B-Because…” He swallowed, his large hands fidgeting nervously. “I know what it’s like to feel like you don’t fit in. And… I think it’s nice to have someone who understands.”

Her eyes widened slightly, the smallest crack in her composed demeanor. But just as quickly, she looked away, her shoulders tensing.

“I don’t need anyone to understand,” she said flatly, though her voice was quieter than before.

Legoshi tilted his head, his tail swishing gently behind him. “Maybe not,” he said softly, “but it’s okay if you do.”

For a moment, neither of them moved. The fading light of the evening painted the campus in warm hues, and the air between them felt heavy with unspoken words.

Finally, she sighed, her shoulders relaxing slightly. “You’re strange, Legoshi.”

He blinked. “I-I am?”

“Yes,” she said simply, her lips twitching again in that almost-smile. “But it’s not the worst thing.”

Legoshi couldn’t stop the small wag of his tail as he followed her back to the dorms, the faintest hint of hope blooming in his chest.

Maybe, he thought, some connections didn’t need words—they just needed time.

---

[shannonallaround]

Sonic and Shadow are truly perfect juxtapositions of each other. Thinking about them in the game verse specifically:

Sonic is casual; Shadow is formal.

Sonic is simple; Shadow is complicated.

Sonic reacts; Shadow plans.

Sonic acts on instinct; Shadow thinks through his every move.

Sonic has always known who he is; Shadow has had to fight to know who he is

Sonic trusts himself; Shadow doesn’t.

Sonic doesn’t care about his past; Shadow is constantly fighting to not be consumed by his past.

Sonic doesn’t worry about whether or not he’s ‘good’; Shadow constantly doubts his own motivations and is very concerned about if he is good.

But Sonic and Shadow are also extremely similar in specific key ways:

They’re both introverts.

They both hate injustice.

They’re both compassionate.

They both have good intentions.

They’re both competitive

They’re both incredibly loyal to people they care about.

It’s through these similarities that they can bond and have a healthy respect for each other, and even be friends. And even with their differences, I think they admire each other. Shadow admires Sonic’s unwavering confidence and certainty, and Sonic admires Shadow’s strength in the face of everything he’s gone through.

Their dynamic just fascinates me.

EDIT: Do not tag as ship. Thank you.

[rainerioun]

𝖶𝖧𝖠𝖳 𝖳𝖱𝖮𝖯𝖤 𝖥𝖨𝖳𝖲 𝖸𝖮𝖴𝖱 𝖥𝖴𝖳𝖴𝖱𝖤 𝖱𝖤𝖫𝖠𝖳𝖨𝖮𝖭𝖲𝖧𝖨𝖯? | 𝗉𝗂𝖼𝗄 𝖺 𝖼𝖺𝗋𝖽.

— Hey there! In this reading, we'll explore which romantic/writing trope might fit your relationship with your future spouse best. Some of these themes can get pretty deep, so if you're not in the right headspace for that, perhaps come back another time. <3

ORIGINAL DATE POSTED : APRIL 15TH, 2024.

HOW TO CHOOSE A PILE : The outcome may vary based on whether you receive clear messages visually or intuitively. If you resonate more with selecting a pile visually, trust that inclination. Personally, I believe the notion that 'looks can deceive,' so I prefer to take a deep breath and close my eyes, allowing the pile I'm meant to connect with to come to me. You might see the color of the pile, sense or hear a number, or simply feel its overall vibe.

Please don’t redistribute or edit my content.

MUST READ + MASTERLIST | KO-FI

PILE ONE

ENEMIES TO LOVERS. | RIGHT PERSON, WRONG TIME. | STAR-CROSSED.

Romance Trope? Knight of Wands [Reversed]. | Ten of Wands [Reversed]. | The Hanged Man [Reversed].

For some, a person from your past might resurface. Either way, there will be a separation. When you first encounter your future spouse, one or both of you may be going through a dark time. I should state that this connection will never become manipulative or deeply toxic, which nobody should accept or endorse.

Nonetheless, this connection won't be smooth sailing in the beginning. While serious hatred will not arise, there'll be a struggle to understand each other, which stems from inner wounds. Seeing reflections of yourself in them, and vice versa, leads to frustration because neither of you has fully healed yet. Stubbornness on both sides leads to drifting apart. Impulsive actions worsen the situation, causing you to dislike each other.

Initially, I wasn't quite sure how to define the relationship because y'all aren't really enemies, just two hurt people.

Expansion. Community. | Hostilities. | Anxiety.

Your future spouse might come into your life through a friend or an acquaintance, perhaps in a familiar setting you visit often. The connection between you both sparks a profound realization, which leads to heightened anxiety and tension. It might feel like you weren't supposed to meet this person, but in truth, you were destined to cross paths. Because when you reunite in the future, you'll love each other through the toughest times and cherish each other even more during the best moments. You're meant to teach each other lessons that no one else could, guiding you back to where you're meant to be in the end. I definitely see sleepless nights, though. — You might find each other again in the place you originally met.

What Energy Will Your Future Spouse Embody? Dolphin : Innately Intelligent, Healer, Light Blessings. Bear :  Waking From Spiritual Slumber. Beginning Anew.

When you reunite, both you and this person have undoubtedly grown. It's a chance to begin anew with them at the right moment. Your future spouse has a knack for making people question themselves, but with you, it's particularly intense. While it may have caused hurt in the past for both of you, now you can work through it together.

While pulling the cards, I heard a distinct and amusing cackle, almost like a 'dolphin laugh,' even their giggles could be a loud and funny.

Insight. Hermit — Light : Seeks solitude to focus intently on inner life. Serves personal creativity. Shadow : Withdraws from society of others. Refusing to help those in need.  Father — Light : Talent for creating and supporting life. Positive guiding light within a tribal unit. Shadow : Dictatorial control. Abuse of authority.  Fool — Light : Fearlessly revealing emotion. Helping people laugh at absurdity and hypocrisy. Shadow : Using humor to wound rather than liberate. Denial of your emotional truth.

Your future spouse will always have an introverted nature, but before change occurs, they are extremely reserved, perhaps to an unhealthy extent. They could be overly engrossed in work, other projects, or family matters, possibly taking on a leadership role for their siblings, which can be stressful even if they don't live together. Beneath the surface, they have a playful side. In the past, both of you might have been a too naive, but you'll reconnect when they emanate this strong fatherly energy. I'm hearing, 'Young, Dumb, and Broke.'

Additional. Soulmates : Soul Connection, Partnership, Agreement, Soul Contract. Coffin : Endings Bring New Beginnings, Growth, Change, Liberation, Transition.  Separation : Sadness, Missing You, Thinking About You, Yearning, Unsure of Future. Clock : Need Time, Takes Time, In Time, Cycles, Time to Heal, Progress.

There might be a bit of a chase for a while, whether it's conscious or not. When you make efforts to understand them, they might pull away, and the same goes for you. As much as it feels strange to say it, the label of twin flames could suit this connection. However, you'll eventually overcome this phase. It's possible you were only meant to learn the lesson of self-betterment from each other in this life, but both of your paths took unexpected turns, leading you to find each other despite it all. You both will make up time from not only your younger years, but previous lifetimes.

When everything falls into place and you seek forgiveness from each other, this connection becomes truly extraordinary. It's profound and complex, holding such true beauty. Eventually, it settles into something steady, providing the stability and fulfillment you both crave. Life together feels as close to perfect as it can get.

Take A Walk : Passion Pit. | Salad Days : Mac Demarco. | The Blower's Daughter : Damien Rice.

PILE TWO

FORCED PROXIMITY. | WORKPLACE.

Romance Trope? The Emperor. | Justice. | Four of Pentacles.

You and your future spouse will be drawn to each other no matter what, as if fate itself is pulling you together. You'll find yourself in situations where you encounter your future spouse frequently. I suspect this could be through some form of work. It's possible they might hold a higher position than you, maybe even a boss, though it's not necessary. They could simply have a lot of influence and trust. In some manner, this person plays a role in ensuring your financial stability.

Expansion. Angel of Strength. | Cornucopia. | Man Holding A Coin.

Once more, this person holds a certain sway over you. For some, this influence might stem from them being your client. They control your actions because they requested them.

It all depends on your current profession or your future plans. If you're primarily self-employed, even if you have a 'boss', this person might approach you as a client or possibly someone seeking work. However, if you're in a more corporate environment, they could be your boss or a colleague.

What Energy Will Your Future Spouse Embody? Dragon : Seeing One’s Most True Self, Balancing The Ego.  Bat : Darkness, Letting Go, Death Leading To Rebirth. Lizard : Instinctual, Sensitive to The Subtle, Dreamer.

Your future spouse isn't really the bossy type. They can be assertive but are generally understanding and flexible. I don't see a power struggle whatsoever. They could be a natural leader, yet I believe their compassionate and accommodating nature prevents them from being cutthroat or overly blunt. Their work is very important to them, but they also recognize the humanity in their co-workers.

Insight. Healer — Light : Passion to serve others by repairing the body, mind, and spirit. Ability to help transform pain into healing. Shadow : Taking advantage of those who need help. Failing to care for oneself. Thief — Light : Sheds light on the potential wealth within you that can never be stolen. Shadow : Stealing money, creative ideas, affection or other powers you think you lack.  God — Light : Benevolence and compassion. Recognizing the eternal force within yourself and others. Shadow : Despotism and cruelty. Using power to control people.

As I mentioned before, this person will play a role in guiding your career somehow. They'll have things to teach you, just as you'll have things to teach them. You might notice an increase in financial opportunities or wealth around the time you meet this person, probably because of their doing, but maybe not!

Additional. Karmic Relationship : Fleeting, Turmoil, Resentment, Lessons, Letting go and Loving you.  Camera : Reminiscing, Keepsake, Perception, Learn From the Past, Make Memories.  Girl Talk : Time with Friends, Moving On, Happily Single, Living in the Moment, Having Fun. Palm Tree : Stability, Security, Permanence, Growth, Endurance, Flexibility. 

Before anyone gets worried, let me clarify that I didn't take the Karmic Relationship card too seriously. I interpreted the message as affirming that this relationship will involve significant learning and growth. Not everyone will end up parting ways with this person, but everyone involved will gain valuable insights from the other. This connection could help both of you avoid repeating past mistakes. — As an alternate message, I'd like to add that it's time to let go of past relationships. Your future partner wants you to embrace self-love and believes in your ability to find happiness within yourself. Mastering contentment while single will not only attract them sooner but also teach you a valuable lesson that's ready to be learned.

Your future spouse will stand by your side and do everything in their power to support you. They aren't just interested in your safety and stability; they'll actively work to make sure it happens. Their actions speak volumes in this regard.

Partition : Beyoncé. | I Will : Mitski.

PILE THREE

SECOND CHANCE. | FORBIDDEN LOVE. 

Romance Trope? Two of Bows/Wands [Reversed]. | Seven of Vessels/Cups. | Two of Vessels/Cups [Reversed]. | The Green Woman. | Ten of Bows/Wands.

For many of you, I don't believe this is just an ex. I sense a third-party element at play here. Pinpointing a main scenario is too tricky; it varies for everyone by a lot. Perhaps you meet this person through a friend with whom you'll later drift apart with. Maybe your future partner happens to be a sibling of a friend. The possibilities are numerous. Nonetheless, there's someone who acts as a bridge between you both, influencing the connection. You might even have someone in mind already as you read this.

Regardless of the circumstances, I don't think your future spouse is the cause of this temporary 'separation', which might end up being a lack of communication for a short period of time until the situation resolves itself. I can't see a time where your future spouse was previously unkind or unpleasant to you, but rather it's more likely that the mutual person between you two played that role. If there are any rumors circulating, your future spouse will likely discern who's at fault and support you.

Expansion. Angel of Love. | Fifth Chakra : Archangel Gabriel. | Magician and The Mirror.

At first, your future spouse might assume they're to blame for the fallout and feel guilty about it. This uncertainty might delay the reconnection, even though they're fully committed to being by your side. They'll struggle with how to initiate fixing things, but eventually, they'll gather the courage to try. This reconciliation could happen online, if that resonates.

The forbidden aspect of this connection might originate from parental expectations, like qualities they require in your partner. Remember, you always have a choice in this matter. If not, it's not necessarily wrong but might be viewed with disapproval, such as getting involved with a friend's ex-partner.

What Energy Will Your Future Spouse Embody? Tiger : Lunar Force, Ease in Darkness, Feminine Energy.  Raccoon : Talented, Shadowy, In Hiding. Hawk : Watchful, All-Seeing, Messenger of Divinity.

Your future spouse is incredibly passionate and generous in their relationships and friendships, and this will shine even more when you two reconnect. They'll be open and sincere about their love for you once they emerge from hiding.

Insight. Addict — Light : Helps you recognize and confront addictive behavior. Shadow : Compromises integrity and honesty. Allows an addictive pattern to have authority over your inner spirit.  Avenger — Light : Desire to balance the scales of justice. Righteousness on behalf of society or oneself. Shadow : Resorting to violence in the name of a cause. Seeker — Light : Thirst for wisdom and truth wherever they are. Shadow : Inability to commit to a path once found.

After reconnecting, your future spouse will become more righteous, not just in relationships, but in all aspects of life. They won't stand for their loved ones being mistreated and will seek truth in murky situations, sharing their insights to keep you informed. They'll be honest about areas needing improvement while maintaining their patient and kind nature. By this time, they will understand how to be straightforward yet gentle.

Additional. The Butterfly : Relationship Evolving to the Next Phase, Healing the Inner Child, Growth. Boat : Receiving What You Need, Progression, Arriving, Moving On, Closure Issues. Girl With a Snake : Empath and Narcissist Paradigm, Being Charmed or Used, Enable Boundaries.  Heartbroken : Deeply Hurt, Sad, Separation, Breakup, Feeling Lost, Grieving, Mourning.

Reconnecting with you will be a healing and transformative experience for them. It will bring closure to their past, and you might need to reassure them that your aren't going anywhere. It's a bit odd, but lately, I've been watching Supernatural, and this person reminds me of Sam Winchester. They have a strong desire to protect you, but sometimes they might overextend themselves trying to provide for you. Which isn't your fault at all, they just need a reminder to relax and slow down.

Killer : The Ready Set. | She Looks So Perfect : 5 Seconds of Summer. | Holding Hands : The Magic Lantern.

PILE FOUR

FRIENDS TO LOVERS. | SOULMATES.

Romance Trope? Six of Pentacles. | Seven of Cups [Reversed]. | Three of Wands [Reversed].

Although it's one of the sweetest piles, it's also a tad messy. Not everyone will relate to this aspect, but take what resonates.

This person could be from your childhood or teenage years, or maybe someone you've recently met, or have yet to meet. Anything really. However, I feel for the majority it's someone you know. You have to figure this part out for yourself. But regardless, they're incredibly generous toward you, whether it's with money, affection, or understanding. However, this connection isn't without its challenges. Despite being very supportive, you'll have to navigate obstacles together. There might be setbacks or delays, but ultimately, your bond will grow stronger and develop into a romantic relationship.

Expansion. Strategy. | Storm Warning. | Healer of the Ages.

This part might only apply to a few, but I don't necessarily see it as your next relationship. Why? Well, because there are cards here, and later in the reading, that hint at some kind of breakup, which your future spouse helps you navigate through.

What Energy Will Your Future Spouse Embody?  Elk : Stable, Resilient, Headstrong, The Father. Turtle : Ancient Soul, Grounded, Trusting, At Home in the Self. Crocodile : Resting, Submerging, Collecting Energy, Cooling Off. 

Your future spouse will always carry the aura of a caregiver, being nurturing and extending their kindness towards both loved ones and strangers alike. They have a natural inclination towards being giving but possess a discerning eye when it comes to where and who they invest their energy. Their actions are consistent, and they seem calm and collected.

Your future spouse really embodies the ideal father figure and likely connect effortlessly with children. Patience and wisdom are strong in their nature, further enhancing this energy. They're like a true teddy bear until provoked.

Insight. Student — Light : Humility and devotion to knowledge. Openness to lifelong learning. Shadow : Arrogance in the pursuit of destructive knowledge. Unwillingness to translate knowledge into action.  Prince — Light : Romantic charm and potential for power. Shadow : Using power for self-aggrandizement.  Companion — Light : Loyalty, tenacity, and unselfishness. Shadow : Betrayal by misusing confidences. Loss of personal identity.

Think of your ideal "prince charming" - that's precisely who your future spouse is, whether in appearance or mindset. Gender doesn't limit this; it's about their energy and attitude. They have boundless curiosity, always eager to explore life and learn. Their fascination with you extends to wanting to know every detail, so they can envision and arrange everything in their mind. Loyalty and romance are ingrained in them, qualities you'll surely cherish. They're very charming.

Even in friendship, your future spouse exhibits a strong protective instinct, perhaps even a hint of possessiveness. You might not even realize your love for them until something sudden strikes. It's really like something out of fan fiction, where a seemingly random spark is actually the culmination of a slow burn. This realization may dawn on you when your future spouse defends or stands up for you in some manner. Suddenly, all the signs they've been dropping will become clear, and even the glance from them afterward will convey everything you need to know.

Additional. The Phoenix : New Phase, Rekindle, Renew, Transformation, Growth, Changed Mind.  Stabbed in the Back : Heartbreak, Pain, Separation, Deception, Shocking Attack. Palm Tree : Stability, Security, Permanence, Growth, Endurance, Flexibility. Mask : Not Showing True Feelings, Hide, Personify, Pretend, Delude, Gaslighting.  Sunglasses : Watching, Looking, Stalking, Gaslighting, Perception, Focusing Out. Keys on a Ring : Many Options, Decision, Unconventional, String Along, One Night Stand.

For those it applies to, I'm revisiting my earlier point about being in a relationship and your future spouse's good sense of judgment regarding character. If this doesn't resonate, feel free to skip and check out the songs instead. Thank you!

Your future spouse had already secretly admired you for some time. Aware of your existing relationship, they struggled to suppress their feelings. Amidst the chaos in their mind, they couldn't shake the feeling that something wasn't right with your partner. They wanted to reach out to warn you out of genuine concern, but you dismissed it as an overreaction. There's a chance your partner at the time suspected something between you two, leading to a sudden end to the relationship [Although, I don't think there was anything actually happening.] They might have harbored resentment for a while. But fear not, your future partner comes to the rescue. Whether they witness the breakup or support you afterward, you'll come to realize that your true feelings lay with them all along, but you were blinded by the allure of another. With too many choices before, you failed to think clearly and see what was right in front of you.

Like That : Jack and Jack. | Somewhere Only We Know : Keane. | Little Person : Matt Maltese. | Boyfriend : Dove Cameron. [Update: Forgot to add a song, sorry!]

[deathnguts]

Peak Moonwater dynamic is the two most emotionally closed off and introverted people ever who channel their lack of connection and inner turmoil into their art being each others muses, and usually they don’t even mean for it to happen or for the other to find out.

Like imagine Photographer Remus and Regulus, who knows he’s attractive but has never actually felt beautiful because his self esteem eats itself whole in a never ending cycle and dysphoria goes crazy. In a nonmagic AU, this leads him to be extremely camera shy out of genuine fear of immortalizing a face he views as not himself at the worst or just wrong looking at the best. And then Remus comes around and he can’t stop looking at him. His fingers are itching for his camera. When he caves and snaps one, regulus just stares at him in disbelief because what is there to capture? Remus just stares back because he doesn’t know what to do and then they just kind of move on and don’t mention it. Remus feels bad for not asking first, until he does it again. He didn’t mean to, it was instinct again. Regulus was further away now, looking picturesque while he read on the windowsill and he couldn’t help himself! He finds he has another moment like that again and again. And again. And again. And again-

And Artist Regulus who’s always loved charcoal drawing. He loves the messiness of the medium, the smearing for shadows with his fingers feels like pumping warmth into the coal and how his sketches can blend with and become a part of the final piece and making every step part of the overall feeling. He doesn’t really draw people because they don’t interest him, until he meets Remus. He’s so… just… half his desk has scattered sketches of Remus. His nose, his eyes, his scars, his curls, his hands, his collar bones, they’re all heightened in detail but only as one feature per sketch of the boy because regulus simply can’t capture them all together and make it look like Remus. He’s just too… too… hm, there’s another sketch.

[inajda]

Misread placements in astrology

Saturn in the 1st house

I always see this placement represented as someone being serious, mature for their age, and introverted, although some of it is true, it does not limit what Saturn can do in the 1st house. If you combine this position with an extroverted ascendant (Leo, Gemini, Sagittarius), the introversion will not be shown at first sight. These people can be extremely outgoing, extroverted, and fun but also incredibly closed when revealing their own emotions. They can be the kind of people that talk about everything BUT their real selves. Saturn in the 1st can also manifest in a medical condition that can affect how we look, since this house talks about appearance, and Saturn represents sickness. 

Uranus/Aquarius influence and rulership

As a traditional astrologer, I follow the traditional rulership: Mars for Scorpio, Saturn for Aquarius, and Jupiter for Pisces. 

Although I believe in the outer planets influence, Aquarius is not as Uranian people think they are. One of the main characteristics of Uranus is rapid/radical changes, or the drastic changes of events. Aquarius is still a fixed sign air sign, and as much as they like to pretend, they’re not as flexible as they think. To change is to be willing to change, to be thrown out of nowhere, and to give up the sense of control. This is much more characteristic of Pisces than it is of Aquarius. The Saturn influence makes them rigid when it comes to letting go of ideals/ideas, this being their most prized possessions. 

Lilith in the 1st

The most common description of Lilih in the 1st house is that this is a bombshell placement. They’re often described as physically alluring people or some type of seductress. We tend to forget that Lilith is the mirror of projections, she appears as a fear of the unconscious collective because she expresses herself and her desires, and she’s punished by the dominance of others. Lilith is the first female liberation figure who was punished for showing control of her desires. When Lilith enters the 1st house, you don’t become a seductress, you become unapologetic, someone who’s in charge of your own shadow and light, you don’t submit, and the answer for this is people trying to dominate you.

Cancer placements

No matter how much cancer placements are portrayed as big emotional babies, I think people couldn't be more wrong about this take. Cancer, be the sun, rising, moon, etc., are closed-off people. They’re the first water sign with a cardinal quality, their fundamental characteristics are: retentive, dependent, emotionally aware, and moody. They do better in a closed environment with few people of their selection. Feelings are not often shown unless the chart has a more extroverted sign (Aries, Aquarius, or Sag) on emphasis. If you think of a crab, the animal representation of cancer, when threatened they go into their shell, isolating themselves and staying away from danger. For a cancer placement to open up, they have to be sure the person they're opening up to is not going use their vulnerability as a weapon against themselves. They don’t cry often, they ruminate emotions and keep them in a safe place in their minds and hearts, they never forget and they do hold grudges. 

If you have any doubts or requests, inbox me, and thank you for the reading <3

[gxthicupid]

𝙃𝙄𝙎 𝙎𝙒𝙀𝙀𝙏𝙃𝙀𝘼𝙍𝙏

💭 @multifandom-hcs Hello!! I hope you are having an excellent day / night! May I request some dating Macaque hcs?? Please and thank you! ^^

💬: Thank you so much for the request. I'm sorry I have taken so long to finish. I hope you enjoy : )

➨ Let's be real here. Macaque has never been in a relationship before. Probably a fling or two with someone in the past, but didn't have enough experience to understand deep connection romantically.

➨ So he's just as new and awkward as you are. But he doesn't want you to know that. He'd hide his awkwardness and nervousness behind his charismatic charm in the beginning of your relationship.

➨ I feel like Macaque would most likely have tons of boundaries for you to respect until he allows it to be surpassed. Since you know, his previous strongest relationship ended so badly, he doesn't want to talk about how bad it affected him.

➨ So go soft on him. He's trying his best to be there for you, but he does want to be respected for his privacy. Wait until he's ready.

➨ But I think, if you manage to break down those walls he’s build up, he eventually become more open and try to is willing to be a lot more genuine with his affection towards you, as being a tease and flirtatious were the most romantic he could ever be before trusting you with listening to his problems.

➨ Also I'd think he wouldn't show that kind of vulnerability in front of anyone else except you. He is NOT going to put up with Wukong and his nonsense.

➨ I headcanon that Macaque is more touch starved than Wukong. Don't get me wrong, Wukong is touch starved for sure, but I believe he's been surrounded by adoring fans as they see him as the ‘hero’, and no one really pays attention to Macaque.

➨ Macaque is definitely an introvert, but does consider taking you out for dates somewhere in Megapolis or somewhere isolated for the both of you to not get interrupted. I think he preferably wants to either cuddle or Netflix and chill at his dojo or your place.

➨ I'd assume as you and Macaque got to hang out with each other and understand your likes and dislikes, he would be able to do things to make you blush, smile or laugh; whether it's a little joke or a thoughtful gift.

➨ Macaque loves being intimate with you. Like, once he gets comfortable being physical, he'd start cuddling or pulling you close by the waist as he gently holds you.

➨ He won't say it out loud, but he will let you know that he adores you when you give him the same kind of treatment he does for you. Like if you were to seek the security of his arms as you casually on the couch, cuddling. Just you know that he internally cherishes that moment forever. Or if you shower him with kisses, Macaque will absolutely melt from the affection.

➨ I wouldn't say that he is extremely possessive over you (as much as most people seem to headcanon) I'd believe he entrusts you with defending yourself, but whenever things get too serious, then he steps in and protects you.

➨ When it comes to nicknames for each other, if you were to create nicknames that refer to his shadow abilities or moody demeanour, Macaque would eye roll, but deep down, feels flattered.

➨ However, the nicknames that he'd give to you would be like babe, sweetheart, darling and lovely. These were the default pet names in the beginning before he got creative, like referring to you as cutie, babycakes, sugar, doll, and his personal favourite: ✨sugarplum✨ (I'm bad with coming up with nicknames)

➨ Judging from his liking to shadow plays and performing in general, I'd headcanon that he observes the romantic aspects to the play, and tries testing them on you to see which one you would like or not.

➨ While observing these plays, he developed his romantic language as he learned new compliments and picked up lines to use on you. But don't test him. If you try to be snarky about your flirting skills, he will immediately turn the tables and it will end up you losing and as red as a tomato.

➨ On the topic of Macaque being a theatre fanatic, BIG fan of music, especially musicals and classical music. He'd show his interest with you by letting you listen, and if you like his genre of music, both of you would end up talking about your favourite musicals or opera or whatever it is you like, and probably rant about the remakes that aren't as good as the original.

[vershl]

Shadow doesn't often have to go into G.U.N, but when he does, he frequently forgets to bring his pistol with him before heading out the door.

In my AU, Shadow works as a weapons specialist and is in a commanding position. So he only ever really has to go in to test new weapon prototypes and decide whether or not they're good enough to be used in battle, meetings he gets told to come in for (which he usually just sits in the corner with a very unhappy scowl and doesn't participate, because *introvert*), OR if he has to fight for some reason.

Honestly the only time G.U.N. ever really hears him talk is during his weapon assessment reports (which he does verbally because he can't be bothered to handle paperwork). He talks in extreme detail about everything good and or bad in great specifics about said weapon, leaving nothing out that he observed or dealt with.. probably to a point you'd start disassociating.

[sai-int]

what do you think 141 men's sun signs would be? (phillip graves and keegan included, if you headcanon them as well)

what do you think?

okay, i don't know HOW you knew i'm an astrology nerd, but i am. i won't go too in depth about their entire charts, but i can definitely figure out some sun signs based on who they are on a surface level!!

⸝⸝ john

a bonafide taurus, through and through (twinsies!!!). dependable, grounded, and a natural leader. he’s EXTREMELY protective over his men, stubborn to a fault, and always (tries to) keep a level head. he enjoys life’s finer things (like a good cigar and whiskey), but he’s also pragmatic and values stability. definitely the type to be patient, but once he’s pushed too far? unmovable.

⸝⸝ simon

a scorpio. intense, mysterious, and deeply private, embodies everything about this water sign. he keeps his emotions locked away, but when he loves, he does it with his whole soul (johnny). he’s the type to hold a grudge for life and operates in extremes, either you have his loyalty, or you don’t. his sense of humor is dark and dry, plus he thrives in the shadows.

⸝⸝ johnny

he's a tough one to call!! but i've settled on saggitarius. he's all firecracker energy, optimistic, adventurous, and constantly trying to beat someone up, shoot someone, or blow something up. he's a fucking dems expert. sagittarius fits him like a glove. PLUS, he’s got that infectious, chaotic charm and can talk his way out of (or into) anything. he doesn’t like being tied down, but when he’s dedicated to something, he gives it his all. the kind of guy who jokes to lighten the mood even in the worst situations, i mean come on. did you see him in las almas?

⸝⸝ kyle

LIBRA LIBRA LIBRA LIBRA. i have a libra rising so i feel so in touch with his sense of justice. for me personally, nothing enrages me more than seeing something just blatantly wrong. i mean think about the first modern warfare. man wanted to get his hands DIRTY for the greater good, or whatever. he felt it necessary in order to balance the scales, and libra's allllll about scales. he's also the mediator of the group, quick-witted, and socially adaptable. he knows how to navigate tense situations and keeps a cool head. libras are also deeply loyal to their people, and gaz would go to hell and back for his team. also he's fucking HOT, libra's ruled by venus.

⸝⸝ graves

a textbook leo and i'm not hearing anything else. charismatic, confident, and so good at making people believe in him. he carries himself like he’s the main character and knows how to command attention. but there’s that classic leo downside too, pride. his downfall is his ego, his need to be in control. he thrives in leadership positions and loves to be admired, but when his authority is challenged? that’s when the claws come out (e. g. "you've got about five seconds before i show you the difference between military, and me.")

⸝⸝ keegan

SUCH a capricorn and you cannot tell me otherwise. hes that no-nonsense, disciplined, get-shit-done type, which screams capricorn. he’s serious, hardworking, and has that quiet intensity that makes people take him seriously. capricorns are known for their sarcasm and dry humor, and keegan definitely embodies that. he’s also fiercely loyal. once you earn his trust, he’ll go to war for you.

⸝⸝ könig

a fun one to pin down. i’m torn between virgo and cancer, but i’m leaning more toward virgo.

he’s meticulous, observant, and highly analytical, classic virgo traits. virgos are often perfectionists, which fits with könig’s overthinking and anxiety. he strategizes everything, calculates risks, and probably notices details no one else does. he’s reserved but has a deeply anxious side, especially in social situations, which aligns with the more introverted nature of virgos. my sister's a virgo and has some ocd problems, but by god, there's a method to her madness and when she gets shit done, it's done well. virgos are also dangerous when they’ve had enough. they hold in a lot, but when they snap? it’s brutal.

[avelera]

(Writing Meta) Syncing Opposites: The Stuff of Popular Ships

I've been thinking about some of the fandom-darling most popular ships in my orbit and noticing patterns.

For example, many popular ships tend to pair together two opposites, the Red Oni x Blue Oni, or the traditional Odd Couple pairing (often a comedy duo). Indeed, pretty much ever buddy act in media inevitably gets shipped, even if it wasn't intended, from Mulder and Scully, Kirk and Spock, to pretty much literally any cop duo.

But it's not quite as simple as setting up two people to be opposites, especially if you're a writer trying to make the ship work. To my eyes, the actual formula is this:

Character A x Character B 1) What they have in common that is central to the overarching plot (or their character's individual plot) or theme. 2) A concept that is central to them or their story in which they are polar opposites 3) Bonus points if their character or overarching plots eventually close the gap on the differences between them OR swap entirely.

The similarities and differences are not limited to one each. Let's go through some examples.

Wicked (Musical): Elphaba x Glinda

1) What they have in common: Magic. Both women are interested in improving their skills at magic, one is naturally gifted, the other wants to learn. Or, they both arguably want to be at the center of important events. These desires force them into proximity with each other. 2) Concept central to their story or themes in which they are opposite: Popularity. Elphaba is so unpopular that it's almost comical, whereas Glinda is THE popular girl. There's a song about it and everything. This concept has thematic resonance throughout the story of Wicked, which enagages with themes of popularity, personal presentation, propaganda, and societal injustice. By putting Elphaba and Glinda on either side of the concept of "popularity" we can more deeply explore these themes.

Arcane: Jayce x Viktor

1 ) What they have in common: Science. Science brings these two together into the story and they share the same level of obsession with it. It drives their desires in the world.

2) Concept central to their story or themes in which they are opposites: Physical ability, or arguably, how they are received by others. Jayce is extremely physically able and appears to be something of a generalist who is good at everything he touches. Viktor by contrast has a degenerative illness sapping his life away. He is also introverted and a specialist, more interested in deep-diving into science. He doesn't go outside his lane.

3 ) How the concept swaps: By the end of S2, however, Jayce and Viktor have swapped on who is the able-bodied one. Jayce has been horribly injured and is a ragged shadow of his once "Golden Boy" image, whereas Viktor becomes a beloved popular figure as the Commune Leader and healer of the undercity, he is fully able bodied and indeed enhanced by magic and science (we learn for the worst). This swap is central to Jayce and Viktor's themes of human imperfection being beautiful.

Pacific Rim: Newt x Hermann

1 ) What they have in common: Science (noticing a theme in the ships I like?). Both Newt and Hermann are obsessed with science and, on a more nuanced level, science as a way of saving the world.

2 ) Concept central to their story or themes in which they are opposites: their approach to science. Newt is chaotic and free-spirited, Hermann is methodical and buttoned up in a classic "Odd Couple" pairing.

3) But, by the end, they learn to overcome their differences and, indeed, by the second film they've even swapped places apparently on who is the chaotic one and who is the "buttoned up" one.

The Sandman: Dream x Hob

1 ) What they have in common: Immortality. They visit each other periodically every century in order to talk about Hob's life.

2 ) Concept central to their story or themes in which they are opposites: Approach to life and/or power. Dream is at least passively suicidal at the point he meets Hob whereas Hob wants to live forever. Also, Dream is extremely powerful as a god whereas Hob is just a human being, though he has moments where he has more or less power as a person. While these two never swap in their desire to live, the desire to live is central to their interplay with one another, which allows them to explore the deeper themes of the story of what does it mean to live forever, whether you want to or not.

Eh, I could go on but I'd be more interested to see how others apply this to their ships and to hear from others.

[ukiyowi]

What does the universe want you to know right now?

Piles read 1 -> 3

Notes: Hey loves! How it resonates, take what resonates and leave what doesn't. Reblogs help a lot!! Take care and have a lovely day~ If you want more you can check out the paid readings list/tip Jar!

Masterlist || Paid readings || Tip 🍯

⭐ Pile 1

A lot of messages coming towards you pile 1. With the Ace of Pentacles as the very first card, one message is related to you needing to budget and find yourself become more stable with the end of this year. There is a new financial beginning coming towards you and you will be entering a phase of financial growth however with the death rx, you need to change your ways before this is possible.

This can be related to your spending habits or maybe you spend a lot on others and not on yourseld? You may be someone who is big on gifts or showing affection through material objects and may not think twice before spending on others, but the universe is asking you to think if they would do the same for you.

With the Empress card here, you need to start caring for yourself more, give the affection and care you give to others, to yourself as well. I think with the aforementioned energy here as well, the universe is asking you to spend more on yourself. Treat yourself better, treat yourself like you would others, be unabashed in your self love, and indulge more in self care. Another strong message here is that you may have been going through a rough time lately and by rough I mean ROUGH, the eclipse may have done a number on you, and you may have found yourself in the midst of conflicts with friends and families.

You could also have been subjected to learning things that may have been hidden from you earlier. Someone lied or backstabbed/betrayed you and it has either come to light, or it is slowly coming to light and although it seems extremely sudden or uncalled for and although it sounds extremely cliche, it is a blessing in disguise. The person, who these secrets are being revealed about is someone who should have been cut out of your life a long time ago, this could be a close friend, and because you did not cut them out, the universe is taking measures to do so for you. This individual could have heavy virgo energy and could be someone who likes staying alone and loves their solitude, definitely more introverted.

With the Star card here as well, the universe is telling youi to stay hopeful, good things are coming your way VERY soon, the unhelpful and "bad" things that do not serve you anymore just need to be eliminated to make the transition easier and have this be an entirely new emotional beginning soon, where you will feel your inner turmoil calm down and also be faced with doing shadow work with the help of the people around you.

They could act as a reflection to yourself and help you go through tough times, a lot of new people coming in as well as an old friend who you may have departed from physically could be coming back. They may help you close a cycle and gain closure which will help you start your new chapter in its entirety.

⭐ Pile 2

The universes main message thats coming through extremely strongly is that you need to make a decision. You are in 2 minds right now, and although the indirection is warranted, you have been given enough time to come to a decision as harsh as that might sound. You need to make a choice, and you know what the right choice is, the only thing holding you back is that you keep talking yourself out of it. The eclipse really ironically shone light on a lot of things. So just like for pile 1, there are secrets and lies coming to light for you as well pile 2. People who you thought were close, really close, either friends or someone who could be a romantic connection of yours (or potential romantic connection) may have betrayed you and although it has come to light, you are unsure of what action you need to take.

Some harsh advice coming though but I will say it as it is, you have also been lacking when it comes to working to your absolute potential, you have dreams that are very attainable and ones you are passionate about are right around the corner, within your grasp, however you are not able to execute it. You are not able to work towards it because of reasons, one of those could be that you feel like you are going to be judged or that potentially you are already being jjudged by people whos opinions you truly care about. There could also be a lack of will here, not with regards to you wanting it but more with regards to you wanting the end and final state and the rewards before putting in the effort for the same.

With the Empress, Judgement and Death coming out consecutively, the universe is telling you a story here. An older woman or someone with feminine energy and a lot of warmth and maternal energy could be giving you unlimited emotional support and guidance. They could be giving you a lot of support also when it comes thorugh navigating through your own emotions internally. With the judgement they are also guiding you to be fair in your decisions as aforementioned in the reading. This can also be with regards to them helping you with self-criticism and self-judgement, they could be helping you be kinder to yourself as well thorugh helping you self-affirm with more positive verbage. The death also brings about changes, and the tides will be turning to better days through this journey of developing a better self-concept.

The universe is also telling you to be more selfless, be more giving with your time, resources and energy, share it with your loves ones and try to have more fun. Reward yourself for the smallest reasons and do not feel like you are doing something wrong when you celebrate your wins just because they are relatively "smaller" when you compare them to the wins or progress of others; you only need to "compare" yourself with yourself.

⭐ Pile 3

Babes you need strength because oof. Okay so where to start with this. The universe is telling you to tap into your spiritual self and your intuition, what do you really want? what do you really desire?? What is it which will calm the greed within you? These are not superficial things, you will not find it in meaningless romantic relationships that are fleeting, you will not find it when you try to quiet things down by letting yourself and your responsibilities go. The universe is telling you to sit with yourself and get a grip.

You may be going through a hard time right now, something is lost, but you are not looking at your other cups that are already overflowing. Sure things may have gone south at work onve, but how long will you let that hold you back and not look at the good things in your life too. It is okay and even healthy to sulk or feel bad, negative feelings need to be felt and let go of rather than completely ignorring them, but stewing in it for too long can make you lose sight of what is really important.

Grab and grasp the opportunities that are laid out on the table for you, and you will be offered with a lot of opportunities specifically in romance and finances soon, let go of your tunnel vision and be open to newer experiences. It may not fit the bill completely of what you want but it may be something that you need.

Further, with the 2 of swords, again you are avoiding doing somehting because it may end up hurting your feelings or someone elses feelings whos close to you, thus inadvertently hurting you. You are unwilling to acknowledge something going on around you as well, this could be with regards to not moving forward from something this could als obe physically like moving away. You have opportunities to leave where you are right now and it could be the "right" or more favorable decision but you could be in denial with it.

Your behaviour right now could be veering on self-sabotage, you could be going through extreme heartbreak as well with the 3 of swords, damn life is not giving you a break right now, I'm so sorry darling. This heartbreak could result from your meetings, conversations or discussions with an older woman, or someone who has very motherly energy, these conversations may have veered into them being a little strict with you and telling you to be more responsible and to take charge, organise your life and being overall just more aware of things going on around you.

Lets move on to some good news now though phew, so the good news is, you have completed most of your shadow work, even if it is unknowingly, the denial could however be prolonging your period of completing your shadow work and moving on to lightwork. You could be someone who is energetically very easily influenced, like maybe an empath who does not have a lot of protection for their energy which leads to a lot of other peoples energies seeping into your own, so you will be learning how to be in control of this as well, as time goes on (side note but intuitively got that someone with masculine energy who is a little older could help you with this).

Ukiyowi ©® All Rights Reserved. Do not plagiarise!!

[mrskyler]

hello!! i was wondering if i could request a platonic Jinwoo x m! reader fic (⁠.⁠ ⁠❛⁠ ⁠ᴗ⁠ ⁠❛⁠.⁠)

y/n info: he'd very introverted and antisocial, making Jinwoo his only friend. he doesn't show much emotion, but not in a menacing way.. more like.. a doll? if that makes sense. he also lives in a very empty n ominous mansion-ish building. he doesn't talk much at all, but loves listening to Jinwoo talk. the first time he saw the shadows he was kinda spooked, but sees them as friends :3

so basically.. antisocial goth y/n :3

he may or may not have watched period dramas with Beru when Jinwoo wasn't there

✮⋆˙ The boy in the window next door.˙⋆✮

「 Sung Jin-Woo x Antisocial!Goth! Male Reader ( Platonic ) 」

Versão Português

「 English is not my first language so I'm sorry for any writing mistakes ‹𝟹 」

⌗ a/n : SORRY FOR THE DELAY ANON! I don't have time to write because school is literally killing me 💀💀 But I hope you like it anyway! ‹𝟹

୭🧷✧˚. ᵎᵎ 🎀

Whenever Jinwoo finds himself remembering his childhood, the first thing that comes to mind is a huge mansion that was close to his house.

The reason for this was perhaps because she was completely different from anything he had ever seen.

Its color was as dark as a starless night, causing its figure to be rooted in the back of his mind like vines.

At the entrance, it had a large black gate with sharp spikes at the top; a vast and beautiful garden with long bushes of red roses, and in the center, there was a fountain – being the statue of an angel holding a vase. As said before, the mansion was completely black, along with its windows – which seemed to have a wine-like tone.

Jinwoo remembers that when his mother took him to school, they always passed in front of the mansion's big gate. Thus, causing Jinwoo's eyes to be immediately drawn towards her, and most of the time, he would see a figure in one of the windows on the 2nd floor, but the moment he blinked, It disappeared.

A few years later he discovered that people lived in that mansion.

The (l/n) family.

On a specific day, Mr. and Mrs. (l/n) had a big party, inviting everyone from the neighborhood. Jinwoo parents didn't want to seem rude, so they accepted the invitation.

Jinwoo will never admit it, but back then, he was afraid of the couple. Since the (l/n) only wore black clothes, and had this cold and indifferent aura.

But the moment the couple saw his family standing at the door of the mansion, they greeted them with a big smile on their faces – shined so much that could be compared to the sun itself – and a cheerful and kind personality.

Jinwoo remembers that Mr. (l/n) couldn't stop shaking his father's hand in an excited way.

–

Jinwoo's mother has him sitting on a soft red couch, while she goes to get him some appetizers to eat.

Seeing his mother disappear among the other guests, Jinwoo turns around, only to find himself face to face with a child sitting on the couch facing his.

Jinwoo is startled, giving a noticeable jump. He puts his hand on his heart, feeling it beating quickly, but Jinwoo swears it was about to come out of his mouth. This definitely took 5 years off his life.

After a while, Jinwoo calms down a little. 'Who is this boy? He wasn't here before...' he breaks out in a cold sweat, looking at the mysterious boy suspiciously.

Meanwhile, the boy was just there, looking at Jinwoo with those big, dilated eyes – like a wild animal staring at its prey, motionless as a statue.

Jinwoo wonders if this boy is a living person or just a weird, extremely detailed doll, as he doesn't even appear to be breathing and his face doesn't seem to express any specific emotion.

Unconsciously, the two began to have a competition of who blinks first. Jinwoo was afraid that if he blinked or looked away for a second, the boy would disappear or appear next to him on the couch.

Jinwoo was startled when his mother appeared holding a plate with some appetizers – placing it on the small table between the two boys.

Then, his mother started talking to the mysterious boy.

She turned around with a smile, "Jinwoo this is (m/n), son of Mrs. and Mr. (l/n), say hello to him."

–

After that day, the (l/n) family always called Jinwoo's family to have dinner together or just spend the weekend at the mansion playing golf – yes, they had a golf area in the back of the mansion.

This ended up resulting in the two families becoming great friends, along with Jinwoo and (m/n).

As time passed, Jinwoo realized that it wasn't that (m/n) didn't have emotions or feelings, he just didn't know how to express himself, ending up looking like a lifeless doll.

Like the day they met.

Jinwoo was surprised when (m/n) said that on the day of the party, he was very excited to talk to Jinwoo, but didn't know how to start.

So (m/n) just stood there...

staring at him.

Years later, when they were both adults, (m/n)'s parents moved to another city and left the mansion in (m/n)'s hands.

(m/n) didn't awaken as a hunter, so he started making dolls of all kinds. And he even made a lot of money selling them.

He had difficulty talking to other people, so the only friend he had in all these years was Sung Jin-Woo. And even when Jinwoo had his 2nd awakening, (m/n) thought it was really cool and remained his longtime friend.

But one thing was certain, Jinwoo always left Beru in (m/n)'s shadow.

The problem was...

(m/n) didn't know that.

–

(m/n) was almost finishing one of the dolls from an order.

The last thing he needed to do was choose which of the two dresses looked best on the doll.

'The blue or the red?' (m/n) asked himself mentally.

"blue " replied a voice from beyond.

(m/n) jumped, causing him to hit his knee on the table. As he cringed in pain, he could hear, deep in his mind, a desperate voice repeatedly apologizing and saying something like:

"My majesty will kill me!! ".

After that day, Jinwoo introduced Beru to (m/n).

(M/n) found it strange and uncomfortable at first. For the simple fact that when he was working, someone was there with him, watching what he was doing in complete silence.

So this was how Jinwoo felt when they were both kids and he just sat there and watched him play?

He was never much of a talker, but he loved listening to Jinwoo talk to him.

But after a while, the two started talking to each other, and every now and then, (m/n) asks the shadow in the shape of an ant, which of the dresses would look prettier on the doll.

Just like the day they met.

They definitely watched period dramas together at Jinwoo's house. And when Jinwoo arrived from a portal, (m/n) was asleep on Beru's shoulder.

୭🧷✧˚. ᵎᵎ 🎀

[karticatyt]

Next gen AU character roster!! This is mostly just an attempt to practice formatting posts and figure out how to use this app um ANYWAY

(heads up, this won’t be extremely in depth about lore or backstories, just simple introductions!)

This is the main roster in a row next to each other, along with their ages. Some of the art here is older than others… I’ll explain them in some more detail.

This here is Amber Gleam and her sister, Comet Trail! Long story short, Amber’s ‘real’ name is Cicada, and she is actually an adopted changeling, raised by Princess Twilight and later on her stepdad, Sunburst. Comet is her younger sister. Comet is competing with their cousin, Flurry Heart for royal guard status. I’ll talk more about Flurry later. Amber has been raised in the shadows for most of her life to hide her identity, which has led to issues socializing as well as a harsh reputation among the public as opposed to her sister.

Racing Heart isn’t actually the offspring of any canon characters, but she is an old OC that I love too much to remove, so she’s a part of my AU because she can. She’s a hopeless romantic lesbian who constantly crushes on all kinds of characters, but her eye is primarily set on Cotton Bow, who I’ll talk about next. I accidentally made her with lesbian colors back in 5th grade… I didn’t even know the word lesbian… wow…

Cotton Bow is the daughter of Mayor Diamond Tiara and Pipsqueak. She is best friends with Amber and they both bond over the issues that come from being the daughters of well known political figures and just wanting to be average, normal ponies. Although, Cotton doesn’t know about Cicada’s secret. Cotton’s special talent is knitting/crocheting (to her parents’ dismay) and she’s an introvert who doesn’t want to follow her family��s legacy.

Koi Concord is the son of Discord and Fluttershy. He has some powers from his father but they mainly remain limited to nature. He obtained his mother’s ability to speak to animals, but his favorites are sea creatures. He spends majority of his time swimming in rivers and creeks with little fishy friends, and keeps to himself for the most part. (Amber doesn’t like him very much as she deems his introversion as a waste of his ability to coexist with ponies as a mix breed/foreign species unbothered, unlike her who has to stay a secret)

Marigold Peaberry! The daughter of Rarity and Joe, she actually was really difficult to make a solid design for because I made her before picking her parents and then I had to redesign her to make her look related… it was a whole mess. She still doesn’t really have any personality or official role in the story.

Now we’re getting into old art territory… Startrix have 2 kids! Epitome Dusk and her brother Jinx Nightfall. Jinx is magically disabled and cannot use his horn without causing any accidents.This made his family incredibly heartbroken, but they all love him nonetheless. I imagine that these two hang out with Concord the most, since he’s the youngest of my next gen main characters.

Now time for Flurry! In my next gen AU, they are actually nonbinary and are dating Luster Dawn! I had a little bit of a poll/vote among my friends over if Luster should have been with Flutty or Comet and Flurry won! They don’t have a large role.

You might be wondering why that purple one at the end of the roster hasn’t appeared, and that’s because they aren’t canon. at least, I haven’t decided if they should be or not. Sunrise is a next gen for pinkiedash, but they’re merely a design concept for now. I’ll probably answer any questions people have about these guys if i have any answers. i doubt i’ll be getting any for a WHILE.

[ihatedtoadmit]

A biteful memory [1]

pairing: OT8 x fem!reader

genre: werewolf AU, fluff, crack

warnings: next to no self-confidence

word count: ~4.0k

summary: Your usual, boring days filled with learning are broken once a certain someone takes initiative, breaking this hellish cycle of yours.

↳ Masterlist ↳ Next chapter ↳ Previous chapter

All rights reserved. Please do not steal, repost or feed my work into AI. Thank you!

The lectures were boring, as usual.

Every single day I would wake up, my back cracking as I would get up from the horribly thin and uncomfortable dorm bed that housed countless questionable stains that were long ago crusted in there. Sometimes my roommate would still be there, snoring away, other times it would only be me in the small room, despite waking up extremely early for my biology classes. Blinking at the white, crumbing walls for a few seconds, I would sluggishly get ready and be at least a bit presentable. I didn’t really care about looking good, never did. Probably because I was the quiet loner in the class, and my resting bitch face didn’t exactly help with that whole situation. No matter, at least people didn’t really approach me and drain my already weak social batteries, something I was cursed with as an introvert. After glancing at myself in the mirror that was by the door, I would walk over to our lecture building, headphones tightly secured on my ears, giving me the only serotonin I would get for long hours. I would only take them off once I had been seated, necessary supplies like a notebook and several pens neatly laid out before me. Nobody would really sit near me, as I had usually taken a seat in the front -look, i had bad vision-, so after the teacher arrived and the class started, I would only pay attention and take notes, nobody there to distract me from it.

It was a hellish cycle I’d grown used to scarily fast.

Sometimes I wished it wasn’t like this, but then that anxious, shy voice in my head told me that it was better this way, that these so-called friends would only tire me out endlessly, rendering me worthless and unable to focus on my studies.

So I listened to it, not even trying to look a bit friendlier, not correcting the slight furrow of my brows or the downwards arch of my lips, even though I was thinking about happy things, like eating my favourite chocolate back at the dorms I could finally afford.

It was fine.

Truly, it was, right until he decided to approach me.

It started out subtle, his form settling down at the other side of the same row I sat in. There was no interaction, my mind forgetting about him the moment the class started. I couldn’t even be sure that when I had noticed him was the first moment he had sat in that row, his presence so faint and hidden from my focused mind.

But over the week, he sat closer and closer, shortening the gap between us 1 seat at a time. Whenever our eyes met, he would send me a little smile, somehow even looking sheepish in the process.

It was weird, but it was a free country, he could sit wherever he wanted to. So after a questioning glance thrown at his now closer and closer form, I mentally shrugged and ignored him, just like how I had done ever since he’d shown up.

But then a week later he stood next to me, his shorter stature shadowing my sight.

“Hey, is this seat free?” - his deep voice asked between his pearly whites that were on full display from his bright smile, nearly blinding my poor eyes.

I could only blink up at him as I sat there, confused. My finger raised by itself, pointing at my own body, brows deeply furrowed.

“Of course I’m talkin’ to ya, silly.” - he laughed, as if this whole situation was normal.

It really wasn’t normal at all, no. Never believe that for a single moment.

This man was one of the most popular in the entire university, his heavenly looks and velvety voice accompanied by the kindest, brightest of personalities that attracted everyone to him, like moths to a flame. It shouldn’t really surprise you when I say that his whole friend group was filled with similarly popular and sought-after guys, making me, a voluntary outcast, avoid them like the plague. I didn’t want drama like in one of those stupid, teenage shows made in america. I just wanted a quiet life, to get my stupid degree and leave, preferably quietly and without anyone noticing my presence through this long, hellish procedure.

But no, out of all the people to approach me, despite all my efforts to deter them mind you, it had to be fucking Lee Felix, a ladykiller and popular dude. What was this? Some kind of sick, twisted joke? A, a manga where the loner gets pitied and becomes friends with the most popular student? Was that it? The mere thought of it twisted my insides painfully, wishing it would never become reality.

And yet, after staying quiet for god knows how long, I nodded at him slowly, watching as he gleefully sat down to my left and set up his laptop, as usual, ready to take notes. I naively thought that was the end of our interaction, so I turned back to the front where the board sat, grabbing a pen and lightly playing with it in my hands as I waited for the lecture to start.

“I’m Felix by the way, nice to meet ya.”

Oh god, he was not done talking to me. With dread in my eyes, hidden away, I turned back towards him, pursing my lips and uttering my own name in a quiet whisper.

“You always sit here alone, so I thought this was a horrible seat, maybe cursed or something. But no, this is the perfect distance from the projector and board, AND you get to hear the teacher speak clearly. Why does no one else know this?” - he questioned and I could merely shrug my shoulders.

I really didn’t know the answer, I only sat there for some peace, besides all the reasons he just uttered. Overall, this whole situation was better for me, since I was left alone, so I was completely fine with it.

Then the teacher arrived, and thus, our 2 hour long suffering had begun.

It was weird.

I could clearly hear as his fingers gently glided over each button and the quiet clicking sound it emanated in response. I could feel the warmth seeping from his form, stronger when his arm almost brushed against mine. I could hear the quiet grumbles he made when he was annoyed at either the teacher or his own typos, his rhythmical button pressing turning slightly aggressive in return.

It was really weird.

I tried my best to ignore these and continue to write down my messy notes hastily, this particular teacher not giving us mercy by talking fast and giving out shitty powerpoint presentations for his lessons. Without your own notes, it was near impossible to understand them, let alone learn from them and pass the lesson. So I wrote and wrote, pages being quickly filled with blue ink, my mind consumed by the boring topic of statistics and equations in evolution ‘til the end of the lecture.

A groan took my attention as I let out a silent sigh, gently massaging my writing hand as it had started cramping the moment I’d put down my pen.

“This was more brutal than usual, I swear Mr. Dunkins is a sadist. Halfway in and I lost what he was talking about, because of course he had to talk at the speed of light.” - it was Felix, his voice a bit muffled as he dragged a hand over his pale, freckled face.

I nodded at him, completely agreeing. This teacher's lessons were some of the worst, and that was an accomplishment and a half in itself.

“Hey, would you mind comparing notes? I know I don’t have a lot about the second half of the lesson, but I still have the other half’s notes.” - he asked with a sheepish smile and doe eyes, making my own set of eyes widen and my mind stop.

I still couldn’t believe that he was talking to me, so casually at that. And now he wanted to compare notes? With me?? My mind blanked and before I could process anything, my mouth opened to provide an answer to his question.

“I uh…sure.”

“Yaaaaaaay, thank you so much! Are you free next period? I don’t have another lecture ‘til one, we could grab something to eat too.”

I was even more taken aback, as if that was possible. I couldn’t help but look around, waiting to spot someone hiding somewhere with a camera in their hand, filming the prank.

Because that was all this ever could be, no?

But I found nothing, the room was essentially empty, besides the few lingering students besides us two. The boy was still looking at me expectantly, his eyes shining as if the stars from his cheeks somehow crawled in there instead.

So I nodded at him mindlessly, because coincidentally, my lesson that would usually take up that time period was cancelled that day.

And that was how we met.

After that day, Felix would sit next to me in the few lessons we shared, him being in a different major than me. But that never deterred him; he always greeted me with a big wave and an even bigger smile from the door of the classroom, gaining not only my attention, but everyone else’s. No, without missing a day, a lecture, he excitedly sat next to me and started rambling about the game he’d played the previous day, about his friends and how one of them -Changbin, i believe- ate his food that he was craving all day.

He was a ball of sunshine, bright and infectious, not caring how I only hummed or nodded at his words usually, my own lips sealed in silence.

That was the exact reason why I’d avoided him before. Because while I could bask in his warmth these last few weeks freely, those who couldn’t set their hateful, jealous gazes on me.

It started with the staring, their eyes following me everywhere, even to my dorms. Then the messages appeared, sticky notes blinking up at me at the seats I always sat at in my lessons. They were childish, empty threats that I never took seriously. Thankfully, I never really left my stuff alone or in an unlocked locker anywhere, so they could never really take it further.

But those soul-piercing stares were starting to get to me after the second week, goosebumps never failing to accompany them. The intense images of those eyes settled into my gut, my marrow, burrowing there and whispering into my ear hurtful things, using my insecurities to their advantage.

I hated having attention on me, making this a living hell personally designed for me.

The only way out of it was clear: become a loner again and return to those bitter days of loneliness.

“You have a lesson after this, right? We can meet up after that, have a late lunch and hang out.” - Felix beamed at me as usual, making this so much harder for me.

“I’m sorry, I don’t think I can make it today. I can send you my notes in chat though, so don’t worry.”

His reaction was immediate, the smile on his face slowly melting away, sadness taking over its place. He quickly tried to mask it, plastering on a fake smile, but his pain was obvious to my knowing eyes.

“No, it’s alright, we can meet up another time. Good luck on your remaining classes!” - he told me as I was walking away, wishing him the same in return.

And so, our time together followed this pattern, his smile not radiant anymore. No, there was a permanent sadness to it, to his warmth that turned colder. My heart ached, the guilt of being the reason for it eating away at me slowly, but surely. The worst part? The staring and bullying didn’t even truly stop, it only lightened up a little.

And after a whole week of this utterly useless circus?

I had enough.

“Lixie, do you want to hang out today?” - it was a simple question, barely audible as we were walking out on the hallway, but it created the wanted effect easily.

Felix’s form abruptly stopped, as if not believing what he’d heard. Then, the brightest, widest smile broke out on his face, his eyes lighting up with a myriad of stars. Unable to contain himself, he hugged me, causing me to stiffen up as I was not a fan of body contact -something the poor aussie had a hard time coming to terms with-.

“Yeah, of course! You could meet the others too, we planned to have a movie night since it’s friday anyway. Oh, it’s gonna be so much fun, you’ll see!” - he was rambling as he squeezed me to death, then suddenly holding me at an arm's length to look at my shocked expression. “What, no, Lixie, I don’t want to intrude. We can meet up another time then, really, I promise you.” “Oh come ooon, we’ve known each other for what, two, three months now? It’s damn time I introduce you to the others. They’ll love you!” “Lixie… you know I have social anxiety…”

His expression softened along with his hold on my shoulders, thumbs gently caressing the clothed skin underneath.

“I know, and I won’t force you. Just know that you really wouldn’t intrude on anything. Remember Jisung? He has anxiety too. And yet, in our presence, he turns into one of the loudest, funniest guy in our group. Something he has in common with you, you kno’.” - his smile was gentle, his dark eyes holding a warm shine in them as he looked up at me.

“You can have the scariest expression on your face, dressed in all black, but I know that under all that lies one of the kindest and funniest person I know. Just no one ever put in the effort to dig down deep enough to reveal it. I get to have you all to myself this way, so it’s their loss to be honest.” - I blinked down at him through my rapidly blurring sight, my jaw shut tight in an effort to not let my lips quiver.

But it was all useless, as a single tear cascaded down my face, more following it shortly after.

Felix panicked and started wiping them away, apologising for hurting me. But he didn’t.

“Damn it Lixie, I didn’t want to cry in the hallways, you big sap. If you compliment me one more time, I might even start wailing, so shush. Just shush.” - I murmured out as I suddenly hugged him, my bigger frame easily engulfing his tiny one.

He was stiff, caught off-guard by my sudden hug, which was understandable. I never initiated skin contact before, as touching people made me uncomfortable. But he burrowed himself so deep into my heart, I was fine with it. He was too important to me at this point, so much so that the hug not only failed to make me uncomfortable, no, instead it calmed me down as I just gently burrowed my face into his fluffy hair, inhaling his strawberry shampoo filled scent.

Felix didn’t hesitate much longer to hug me back, his cheeks pressing into my skin, no doubt from the smile he had formed.

“Now, let’s go, before someone decides to use this as blackmail against us.” - I muttered out, releasing him. “It would only take a glare from you and they would delete the evidence instantly, and you know it. But I agree. Let’s go, I’ll walk you to your dorm so you can grab some stuff for your stay at our place.” “Wait what-” “Don’t tell me you thought I would let you come back to your dorm at the dead of night, all alone? Besides, no bus would still drive around by then, and I don’t think you would like walking for hours, because I KNOW you wouldn't let us drive you back.” “...Is it too late to cancel?” “Yep, already messaged them all and they’re excited to meet you. So get your butt in gear, we’re going to get your things.” “I fucking hate you.” “Love you too!”

And he truly didn’t lie. He really escorted me to my room, made fun of me with my own roommate, who was surprised at first about the fact that the Lee Felix was in our room, but then she quickly got over it and even started teasing me. I wanted to dig a hole and hide in it, but alas, under the watchful eyes of Felix, I could only pack some necessary things into my bag, flustered to hell and back. Some clothes, a few notebooks to study from and some toiletries sat in their place firmly, urging me to nod at myself as the imaginary list of necessary items was now done.

Having packed everything, we bid our goodbye and left for the bus stop, chatting about everything and nothing, my mind at a different place. 

He was really excited about this whole thing, but I was just a nervous wreck inside. Judging from how he gently massaged one of my hands and spoke just about every silly topic you could imagine, just to take my attention away, he’d probably noticed the state I was in.

I appreciated it, more than he would ever know.

Sure, the people I was about to meet soon were Felix’s good friends -i mean, come on, they lived in a house together, all 8 of them-, so I really shouldn’t have been so nervous. But in reality, I was nervous exactly because of that. What if they hated me and Felix would start hating me too? What if they made him choose between them and me, essentially leaving me alone once more? What if th–

A gentle squeeze of my hand brought me out of my worsening train of thoughts.

“We need to walk for like 20 minutes from here. I would have normally asked for a ride, but my hyungs were all busy, sorry.” “It’s okay, a little walking never hurt anyone.”

So we walked, side by side, his hand never leaving mine as he gently swung them back and forth at his own pace. I listened to him ramble about an anime he’d started watching recently, reminding me of how I’d ignored him recently and missed out on all of his little stories. It ate me alive, the guilt squeezing my throat shut. Thus, I listened to him in silence, nodding sometimes to show that I was paying attention. And I truly was, carving his happy expression into my mind, the way he scrunched up his nose occasionally in happiness when he remembered something particularly funny.

I missed this.

Eventually, we reached an enormous family house, almost worthy of being called a mansion. Felix stopped in front of it, punching something into the dial on one of the fence columns, causing the gigantic steel gate to slowly swing open. Surely not… Surely, this wasn’t where they lived, right?

Oh my god, it was…

I befriended a rich person, holy fucking shit.

“I think some of them are already home, so you can meet them gradually.” - he said happily, but I was just mindlessly following him as he dragged me along, still not over the fact that I somehow ended up in this hilariously unreal situation.

And indeed, some of them were already there. Half-naked, that is, their shirts for some reason not on their body. I could only blink a few times as I processed this as they were just blinking back at our frozen forms that were just standing at the entrance.

“I better leave.” - I muttered out, my ears and cheeks probably heated as I quickly tore my gaze away, along with my hand from Felix’s hold. “Oh my fucking god, I told you she’s coming over and you couldn’t even put a fucking shirt on?! You better be decent by the time we come back, if she hasn’t run out of the city yet!” - Felix shouted so loudly, I could still hear him crystal clear, even though I was almost at the gates by then.

You see, their property was huge, a small garden dividing the house from the front gate, the greenery leading all the way around to the back, where laid an entire forest -or at least that was what i could say after only a glance-. Still, I ran to the front gate and decided to climb over the small, stone columns, not knowing how to open the steel barricade by myself. I heard Felix shouting my name, pleading with me to stop and go back as he hastily closed in on me, but I was too flustered to do that.

I was way too shy for this shit.

“Please don’t go, I swear they're better than this!” - Felix panted out, his hands latched onto one of my calves, most of my body already up on the top of the column.

I shook my head, causing him to tighten his grip and try to drag me down, my own grip on the stone construction tightening in return. He pleaded with me as we had this silly tug of war, none of us willing to let go.

Just as I was starting to feel sore and think about letting go, I heard a buzz and the quiet creaking of the gates as they opened, footsteps approaching us.

“Do I even want to know what’s happening?” - a male voice asked, gaining Felix’s attention and loosening his hold on me. “Hyune, just please help me get her into the house, she’s gonna injure herself even more at this rate!” - my friend cried out, all the while I shook his grip off of me, ready to finally climb over.

Well… only planned to, really.

Because the next thing I felt were hands gently gripping my sides, prying my weak hands away from the rough stone and slinging me over a shoulder.

“You better explain this to me, Lixie.” - the man, Hyune(?) said. “You know how I said I’ll bring a friend over today for our movie night?” - Felix answered, falling into step next to the taller man who had me in his unbreakable hold. “Yea, of course, you were the most excited I’ve seen you in a long while. Why?” “... that’s her.”

Silence enveloped us as the tall man abruptly stopped in his tracks.

“You mean to tell me that our guest here was trying desperately to escape already?” “It’s because of those idiots, Jisung and Changbin! They decided to flaunt around the house with no shirts on, even though I told them my friend was finally coming over!” “... I guess we should be thankful Chan’s still at work.” “Don’t even tell me, gods. I’m going to fucking choke them to death if they so much as look at her wrong.” - Felix growled out, surprising me as I’d only ever seen his soft, sunshine self. “Oh don’t worry, I don’t think they want to piss you off even more. Besides, we’ve all been curious about this certain friend of yours, who you always speak so highly of.”

Did they…forget I was there? Hello?? I could hear everything??? And what did he mean by that?? I was just an introvert weeb, what the actual fuck!

“Alright, here we are. Do you wanna check in first?” “Yea, hang on for a sec.” - and with that, Lixie opened the door and soon closed it.

“Alright, the coast is clear.”

I was gently let down from the tall man’s shoulder, who I could finally face and see normally.

Next chapter

[targaryenrealnessdarling]

It's Who We Have | Part One

Summary: Who knew the little girl in the green coat would change everything? | Word Count: 5.7k~ | Warnings below the cut!

General Taglist | Billy Washington Taglist | Series Masterlist

A/N: The coat story is based on a real story that happened to me when I was in primary school. Also the age of consent in the UK is 16, and this chapter does mention being intimate at that age. If this bothers you, you're welcome to click away. Primary School = Ages 7 to 11, Secondary School = Ages 11 to 16, Sixth Form = Ages 16 to 18

Warnings: bullying, underage drinking, angst, mentions of sexual intercourse (reader is of legal age), Billy being a general twat

It started with a rain cloud.

It was at a time when he was still excited to be in the passenger seat of his Mum's old Ford Focus. When his enthusiastic little feet still didn't touch the bottom of the footwell. His curious, wide blue eyes watched the world go by, following the shadow of the car as it zipped by the older kids, who were trusted enough to walk to school by themselves.

Year 4 was no particularly exciting year. At the tender age of 8, Billy was highly introverted, but a perpetual watcher of other people as well as his immediate surroundings.

He noticed the little things that other people didn't, like how electricity hummed in the walls of his bedroom, how the space between the grass was worn down into a man-made path and how, on the dot, every night at 8pm a man walked past his house grunting down the phone in a low baritone, swinging his suitcase at his side with every wide step.

His parents noticed how perceptive he was when he'd slip away upstairs as he heard the metal click of the gate with Lana's late return home. Knowing that an argument was about to ensue between his sister and his dad.

His mum, intent on breaking up and being the buffer between two extremely large personalities, often neglected her quiet little boy upstairs. But it wasn't entirely her fault.

Lana, a teenager through and through, intent on creating hardship wherever she happened to be with her actions and words, was incessantly butting heads with both of them.

He could hear the low rumble of thunder even over the revs of the car. His mum always drove in too low a gear.

His mum laughed lightly when Billy looked up at the dark, looming cloud hanging over his school as rain smacked against the windscreen.

"Ooh dear. Good job you've got your raincoat, eh?", she smiled, turning her steering wheel to slide into the school car park.

"What did Miss Warren say it was called?", she prodded.

Billy could barely see his mother over the high collar of his coat.

"Cum…ulo…nimbus", he recalled from memory sweetly and quietly, making his mum's crow's feet tick against her eyes as she smiled.

"There's nothing to be nervous about, darling. It's just a new school year".

His mum's soft pat on his head didn't comfort him.

Though the same people would be there, it would not be the same teacher.

Miss Warren had seen how quiet Billy was and nurtured the few words she could get out of him. He remembers her fondly. How she had curly chestnut hair that one might describe as unruly, and always had a floral scent about her when she'd kneel next to him and ask if he could recite the last sentence of his book to her.

It was the only good thing about school, he thought.

Year 3 had been difficult. He didn't do well when he was forced to socialise.

Other children had thrived in regularly seeing others. Forming friend groups, squealing with delight on the playground and the girls giggling and whispering to each other about who they were going to talk to that day.

He held his mum's hand loosely at the gate, where the headmaster was filing the children of all years and ages into the main part of the school.

She knelt beside him, zipping up his coat as the rain pelted against the concrete.

"I'll pick you up after your club, okay?" 

Billy nodded once, disappearing past the threshold of the school with a downwards gaze and a comically large bag hunched high on his shoulders.

It started with a rain cloud.

He knows now that it was silly, the reason his now best friend entered his life.

When he first saw her, she was on the verge of tears, standing to her feet and looking down at herself completely covered in mud. Her lips quivered, looking at the group of established friends with horror as they rushed away, their shoes smacking on the wet ground.

He hadn't realised he'd stopped until she took a sharp breath in, clearly trying not to cry, looking down at herself. 

Her small hands tried to push the mud off her green coat, but only served to smear it around. He could hear her shudder her breath, frustrated, and began to whine with increasing volume. Her book bag, once blue, was completely sodden.

And on top of all that, rain continued to hammer down on them, which only made her more upset.

Billy fiddled with his hands nervously, looking around immediately for an adult, to no avail. Thinking with terror, that he might have to approach her. 

It wasn't even because she was a girl. For they were at that tender age where it didn't matter. That they were just children, trying to figure out how to exist in a world that seemed brand new everyday.

He hiccuped on her own breath with tears as he stood before her.

"Are you okay?", he asked nervously.

She could only shake her head, her eyes full of fear, her face and hair completely wet through.

"My mummy's going to be cross with me", she replied feebly, looking down at her coat, though waterproof, completely smeared with earth.

At the time, Billy thought, he couldn't argue with that logic that she was so upset at the thought of what her mum would think when she came home, covered in half-dried mud, having been pushed by the rowdy Year 6's.

He also thought, that he hadn't seen her last year, and that this was the first experience she'd had in her new school. And that he, if in her position, would be no different. Snivelling and crying before they'd even taken the register.

He grimaced as he picked up her book bag, slick with earth and without thinking twice, took her cold, wet hand and led her with him to the toilets before registration started.

Billy's big eyes flitted between the signs for 'boys' and 'girls' when presented with the toilets.

He decided to spare her the embarrassment, and took it upon himself to lead her into the girls toilets, despite the heavy blush on his face.

Seeing the inside of the girls toilet, while not much different, felt utterly forbidden.

But all he could think about right now, was the little girl he'd led in, and how to make her look presentable, and to get her to stop crying.

He used what felt like a tonne of blue hand towels, wetting some to get the majority of mud off her and the rest to dry her coat, seeing the rich green colour beneath again finally.

She still sniffed quietly, rubbing her tired face and choking on her breath every now and then. He gave her one blue paper towel to dry the remnants of her tears, the tissue rubbing painfully on her skin.

But ultimately she let him help her.

And Billy couldn't remember feeling as useful to someone as he did right now.

Once her book bag was clean, he gently handed it back to her. And she finally lifted her reddened eyes to him, her lips still quivering slightly, or perhaps she was cold from the onslaught of rain.

"That's better" 

She nodded at him, looking down at herself to see her coat was now only slightly dirty.

It was almost unnoticeable, her tiny, meek 'thank you'.

He held her hand in solidarity as they entered the classroom together. Coming alight when he told her where she could hang her coat up and sitting beside her, in line with the girl, boy, girl boy rule their new teacher had put in place.

It took her a few hours to warm up to him. To everyone really.

But he saw her again the next day, his feet swinging excitedly in the passenger seat of his mum's car at the prospect of seeing her again. The clouds Billy was scarcely able to pronounce were now gone, a light grey overcast instead on the early September morning.

Her coat was clean, a bright green as it was the day before.

She still seemed nervous as he bounded up to her, his curious eyes searching hers.

"Was your mummy angry?" he asked.

She looked down at her shoes, shifting her weight, not wanting to reply.

And Billy had his answer.

He watched her lift her head to meet his eyes again, her hands wringing together nervously and her voice all quiet.

"Can I sit next to you again today?"

Billy had grown out of hand-holding by Year 6, realising that he, as a boy, and her, as a girl, were supposedly from different worlds.

But it never felt like it.

Secondary school was daunting for all Year 7's. But Billy, tall for his age and towering over everyone else, felt more self conscious than usual that he stuck out so much.

His sandy blonde hair flopped against his forehead. Another measly early September, confined to a classroom to be patronised and talked at for several hours, passing the time only by making colourful cover pages in their exercise books.

"Billy!"

He couldn't help but laugh as she ran through the school gates to him, looking quite different in the secondary school uniform than he saw her last, which now felt like a lifetime ago.

Realistically, he only saw her the other week as they walked home together from the corner shop. Then, she'd been in jeans and a jumper.

Now, in her school mandated skirt and blazer, he thought she looked more like a young lady now than ever. And briefly, it terrified him.

The prospect of getting older.

The idea that they might drift apart.

He brushed her waved tendrils from her face, exhausted from the effort of running with her cheeks all flushed, with that squishy appearance that many associated with Year 7's.

If anyone didn't know then both, they'd think they were in different years.

"Got 'em?", he asked with a lazy smile.

She rolled her eyes, rifling around in her bag, "Um, yes? When do I ever disappoint?" 

He laughed as she ripped three Starbursts from her packet and piled them in his hand, "Only three? Thought we were mates".

She gave him a look, popping one into her mouth, "You are my mate, hence why I gave you three".

They walked together, collecting their timetables for the term ahead, rolling the sweets around in their mouths.

"I don't get these room numbers", she mused, "have you got science in S27?"

"Yeah, Mr White".

"That's alright then, I'll just follow you".

"Don't follow me, I've got no clue where I'm going either".

She smiled widely, "guess we'll get lost together then, eh?"

He let out a puff of air in laughter, tugging lightly on her ponytail in soft teasing, "bad luck to be late to your classes on the first day, ya know".

"Well then they should have a map", she pouts, smacking his arm lightly.

Looking back, he wasn't surprised how close to her he felt. For as pre-teens edging that fine line into puberty, when everything is confusing, new, scary and exciting all at the same time, he saw her more often at school everyday than he did his own parents.

She was a constant.

Most days they'd walk to school, spend break times, lunch times, and even the twilight hours after together. Always chatting mindlessly about whatever teenagers did talk about.

It was difficult to address though, that the older they became, the more the powers that be were intent on separating them.

Girls and boys weren't meant to be friends.

They were meant to like each other, hold hands, blush and kiss each other.

They were meant to have different classes, teaching different things. Boys were taught how to keep themselves safe from STIs, and the girls were taught about their monthly cycles, though many of them had started already, as well as how to prevent pregnancy when they were on the cusp of exploring their intimate, sexual selves. With hormones raging so hard that they couldn't think straight.

They were separated for PE. Even in the subjects they were offered to take.

It felt like everything was against them.

And in this forced separation, Billy was then forced to make friendships in other boys, as shallow and surface value as they were.

He felt as if he'd been missing out on this part of growing up, as he sat against the wall at lunch listening to his mates harp on about mindless teenage things. Like who was going to lose their virginity next, and if their parents would find out if they found out they'd swiped a packet of fags from their mum's handbags.

It wasn't like they didn't talk anymore.

There were the summer holidays, where more often than not, he found himself on her doorstep, asking her Mum if she could come out.

And she always delighted in seeing him. Even if it had barely been 24 hours since the last time.

But with the highest of highs, came the lowest of lows. And September would inevitably roll around again.

He sometimes saw her on school grounds between classes, having done the same thing and forced herself to make a group of friends. Though it was as clear to him that she didn't have anything in common with them, and just smiled and nodded at anything they said in an attempt to not show on her face how lonely she was.

She was solitary in nature.

And when he glanced at her across the assembly room, where the foldout chairs were lined up so everyone could eat, her eyes were distantly looking at her hands clasped in front of her, idly picking at her cuticles. Her friends were turned away from her, chatting with wide smiles and booming laughter to themselves. Making plans and giggling at inside jokes, all while her sandwich laid untouched rolled in cling film in front of her.

He thought, she must have been able to sense someone was watching her, as she moved her head. But never looked at him.

While Billy's friend group stayed with the usual characters, hers evolved. And every few months it was a new cast of people.

He saw she made the effort, and really tried, but that with every passing day, her energy wavered and eventually they'd grow bored of her and pretended as if she didn't exist other than to fill the empty seat beside them.

But he still walked her home, even if she said she didn't want him to. In silence if need be.

Eventually he began to notice, more so now than ever, that she was really a woman in disguise. That she was wiser than he thought she was, more grown up. That she thought about the future ahead of her and was careful to take calculated steps in order to get there.

At the fair age of 16, Billy, his features set into crisp lines, hardened by puberty, his muscles sitting wiry on his skin and taught without really having to try, realised that he had done her a huge disservice by merely accepting this forced separation with a stiff upper lip.

That she needed someone true and gentle, honest and no-frills. Something her girlfriends were unable to give her. 

That she wanted someone to try for her friendship.

As he had all those years ago.

They began to take the long way home, through the gap in the hedges, into Cranstead Fields, the tall grass tickling their legs through their uniform.

"Are you embarrassed of me?" she asked suddenly, pulling her hair tie out. Billy's eyes ran over her loose hair for a moment before replying.

"No, why?" 

"Because we barely talk to each other in school anymore", she replied, unable to hide the bitterness from her tone.

He had to accept that her words were true. They rarely crossed paths inside the school gates, and their conversations in between were shallow and empty, void of all authenticity and emotion.

It wasn't enough to have acceptance from one teenage girl, apparently.

But he didn't appreciate being called out so callously about it.

"Yeah, well I've got my mates".

She laughed through her nose, "Yeah, saw you smoking behind the bike sheds. Gonna get you killed one day, you know".

He furrowed his brows at her, "Smoking?"

"No, your mates"

She laughed at his confused expression, "course I meant smoking, you wolly".

There was a silence between them as they brushed past the white painted lines on the field, where a football pitch had been drawn.

"I don't mind you having mates Billy. I just miss you".

"Really, cos it seems like you do mind", he bit back. And he watched her raise her gaze to him quickly, "just cos you don't have mates doesn't mean I can't".

Her lips hung in shock that he could say something so cruel.

And that he carried on.

"Do yourself a favour and do what other girls do and get a boyfriend or somethin'. Save you hanging about with me moaning all the time".

He didn't feel bad about it until the moment she disappeared past her mum at the front door of her house, intent on being away from Billy's harsh words as quickly as possible.

"Tell your mum I said hello, love", her mum smiled.

But as soon as the door was shut, even the thick double glazing couldn't muffle the loud, destructible tirade of her mum's anger.

And he felt the hot whips of panic at his neck, that he'd done and said something wrong.

And yet, despite that, never said sorry for it.

Billy thinks now that he remembers the most from this part of their friendship because the most happened.

But he realises now that it's because of guilt.

It follows you, like a kind of trauma through your life, without the repercussions of the person you've hurt.

And god, he watched her get hurt a lot.

After that, she didn't even really try. She flourished in solitude, keeping herself company wherever she could while Billy and his mates reaped the benefits of being young and dumb. 

It was also when he appeared. Like a fucking virus. Always finding people when they have their guard down and their hearts low.

Even though they were in the same year, he had this air of arrogance about him that he thought he was much older, more sensible, and could be taken more seriously.

And with the absence of Billy in her life, she accepted any chance of feeling wanted with open arms.

She wanted to feel important to someone.

Billy would never forgive himself for that.

He simply watched from afar, not realising how invested he was, more often than not from the bike sheds as the boy who was trying too hard wound his web so tightly around her it must have felt comforting for her to some degree.

To be choked by affection, to some, is a kind of affection.

After Easter break, having not spoken to her directly for some months now, Billy had realised something had changed.

The boy who had wound his web tight, seemed to do so with plenty of others too. As boys of his age were known to do.

She'd rush out of school so quickly, staring at her feet, that often she was the first one out the gates and Billy, even if he'd wanted to, couldn't keep up.

He knew where she was going anyway.

He was assured when he saw her leaning her head on her arms crossed over her knees, under the large chestnut tree at Cranstead Fields.

She heard him approach, and turned her head away, sniffling quietly.

He swallowed over the lump in his throat as he sat beside her, not speaking.

And a long, long moment passed. As if all that time apart had lessened that trust, and it would take more than a mere moment to patch it back up.

"Is it him?" he asked.

Her clothes rustled as she nodded. Her breath hiccuping in her chest the same way it did when he saw her all those years ago, covered in mud.

"What happened?"

She wiped her face with her sleeve, a bit of makeup coming loose.

"What do you think happened", she bit back, annoyed and heartbroken all at the same time.

He briefly forgot, that for girls it sometimes felt like more, like so much more, to give yourself to someone for the first time.

Only to have the trust squashed as quickly as it was to slam a book shut.

She sucked in a breath as he stroked her back comfortingly.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

After a moment, she raised her eyes to him, all red and puffy, her face all hot from crying.

And he felt his heart break for her.

Behind this girl, who was suffering in heartbreak, believing that her first love and first time had now been entrenched in misery, he caught a glimpse of the girl she had been, when they were inseparable.

He tutted, "Come here".

He bought her head to his chest softly, his hand drifting to her shoulder to encourage her to hug him, to let it all out.

And she did.

She hugged him tighter than she ever had before. 

A teenage boy part of him felt embarrassed. But another, fought to stay here like this with her.

Until eventually she said pitifully, "I don't want to go home".

And he realised that it wasn't just the boy she was upset about.

Luckily Billy's mum delighted in having her around at his, even offering that she could stay if she wanted to, as Lana was away at uni and wouldn't be using her bedroom til the summer holidays.

And though he could see his friend was tempted, she mostly refused, knowing that at some point she'd have to return home. To what version of her mum, she didn't know.

But it didn't mean she never took them up on the offer sometimes, when things were really bad.

Yes, he got teased endlessly by his mates.

But it didn't matter. Because he felt like he had her back.

Sixth Form proved to be a happier time for both of them.

It felt more free, laid back than the shackles of secondary school. Hindered by school uniform and calling the teachers 'sir' and 'miss', here it was all backwards they thought.

The prospect of free time to a bunch of excited teenagers, on the cusp of adulthood, was exciting.

He felt like it was just like old times.

They sat together in the common room in their free period, sharing the cheapest thing they could get from the canteen, which was four flimsy slices of toast. That and an orange Fanta from the vending machine.

They'd both somehow formed into new people over the summer holidays between Year 11 and Sixth Form, wearing different things every day and giving each other a glimpse into their truer personalities.

At first, it was just two of them.

And eventually four, then six.

A solid friend group. 

She had two girls at her side most of the time, Libby and Ami. The first blossoming Billy would ever witness of his friend into womanhood would be the way she formed these friendships so naturally, in contrast to the shallow ones she'd had in secondary school. Which now seemed so long ago.

He had his own mates of his own sex. Ami's twin brother Abi, Harry (who's real name was Barry but never told anyone) and the most recent addition to the group, Paddy.

It was a friend group of the truest intentions. They laughed, joked, and were never far from one another. Many nights they spent at Cranstead Fields, huddled under a tree, passing bottles of WKD around and some horrendous smoky whiskey Paddy had managed to steal from his dad's liquor cabinet.

But there were special moments where Billy and her would just sit and observe, nursing a bottle between them.

"Bet you Libby and Abi are necking each other off by 1", she smirked, gesturing with her head to them as they sat together across the grass, Libby inching herself onto his lap with every swig of alcohol.

Billy laughed, "I don't think I need to bet on that", he replied, pushing the hair off his forehead as it touched his eyelashes.

"You need your hair cut", she smiled.

He gave her a look, "Who do you think I'm trying to impress?"

"I dunno", she shrugged, "you never tell me who you've got your eye on".

He pushed the WKD into her arm and she took it, smirking as she sipped it.

"I suppose…there's a girl a year up…", he murmured.

"See! I knew it!" She exclaimed, "Wait, Year 13? Who? Tell me".

He rolled his eyes at his friend's curiosity, "Rebecca".

He laughed when she scrunched her nose in disgust.

"Her? She's been out with a few Year 12's, hasn't she? Proper little cradle snatcher".

Billy laughed, louder than he anticipated, and when he opened his eyes again, his friend was already looking at him. Her eyes all glazed over with the amount of alcohol she'd had already.

"Leave off. You asked", he grins, blinking quickly once he feels his head clouded with dizziness.

"Well", she passes the drink to him, "I wish you luck, you'll need it".

They briefly look back to Libby and Abi, who are now embroiled quite blatantly in kissing one another, Libby nestled in his lap and her hand at his jaw.

In the distance Paddy kicked a ball around with Harry, as Ami watched between them, not an ounce of sexual tension between them.

Their knees touched and both quickly looked at each other, as if horrified that they hadn't realised how close they were.

It was dark in Cranstead Fields, but she felt she could see the way his eyes reflected the distant street lamps, how they seemed to fit over her face, and how he pressed his lips together and swallowed nervously as he moved a piece of her hair from her face to tuck safely behind her ear.

Was is the alcohol? This weird feeling in both of their stomachs? The airiness in their heads?

Was it only now that he saw that she had nice eyes? That he could see the contours of her collarbone, and the curves against her skinny jeans?

That his friend, was a young woman.

He only remembered sighing against her lips, turning his head to the side as he pressed against hers. How small she seemed compared to him.

She tasted of cheap vodka, but then again, so did he. And he wasn't entirely paying attention to the taste of her, but to the feeling of her.

It wasn't either of their first kisses. But it certainly felt like it.

He felt his chest go tight as her hand moved to the front of his hoodie, holding the fabric in her palm, as his tongue parted her lips.

When they pulled away, he still felt her presence on him.

Her hand slowly slipped from his chest, her eyes looking at him with trepidation, her lips kiss-bruised and swollen. Both of them looked at one another, unsure what to say, and trying form words over the whirring and melting feeling of drunkenness in their brains.

"I, uh…I should be getting home", she said quietly. And Billy nodded, now drunk on another feeling that had taken root deep in his chest.

He saw her off at her doorstep, hands deep in his pockets, not knowing whether what they'd done should be addressed or not. Or whether their brief kiss was the result of simply having too much to drink too quickly.

She had her answer though, when Billy turned up to Sixth Form the Monday after, hair trimmed, with his arm loosely around Rebecca's shoulders. He spoke to her closely, making her laugh and stroking her hair behind her ear, as he had done to her the Saturday before.

Though they remained close. Remained friends. There was an air of something unsaid. 

Something that appeared whenever she saw him with her. Pressing his lips against hers, threading his fingers into her long, perfect hair and keeping one hand perpetually around her thigh.

When Rebecca, or Becky as Billy lovingly called her, finished her A-Levels to move onto Middlesex University to do Psychology, she felt horrible that she was relieved she was gone.

Felt that she had him back, even if it was only sometimes.

She knows now, that nothing good lasts forever.

She thought he'd be happy for her, when she got her UCAS email that she'd gotten into her first choice of university in Manchester.

But he always managed to surprise her.

"The fuck are you going to uni for? And so far away as well, you don't even know anyone there", he almost barked the words at her, not wanting to admit that his heart was hurting at the way she looked so wounded at him.

"So what? It's the course I wanted to do and-"

"And what? You just gonna leave me here doing fuck all, are you?"

"You can do what you like, Billy!", she shouted back, matching him now in frustration, "I'm sorry that I am pursuing what I want to do!"

Don't leave me behind.

Please.

"What about your mum? Hm? You just gonna leave her on her own?"

She scoffed, "my mum doesn't give a fuck where I am half the time, you know that".

"Yeah, I'm feeling like I don't really know you at all lately", Billy muttered under his breath.

"The fuck is that supposed to mean? I wasn't going to just forget about you. I'd come visit and-"

"You know what, forget it. Do what you like, I don't give a shit".

She stood there, taking his words like hits. Each one hurting more than the last, opening the hole inside her wider.

She thought, he must not know what he's saying. She never knew Billy to be this cruel, apart from in secondary school.

But he was young then, he was smarter than that.

Wasn't he?

Her eyes filled with tears, blinking quickly, taking a step back from him like he'd burned her.

She tried her best to remain strong on her face.

"Just because I don't want the same things as you, Billy, doesn't mean it's pointless".

When Billy just stood there, mouth half agape, like everything had just caught up with him, she shook her head.

"Keep in touch, if you can be bothered".

She said it as coldly as she could, not looking back as she walked away from him, quickly wiping her cheeks. With each step, the pit widened in her chest. Feeling as if the string that had inextricably connected them since that fated day in Year 4, was prone to snapping irreparably.

His words rattled around in her head the entire journey to Manchester. How horrible they were. And how a person she'd considered a friend, could speak to her like that.

After everything that had happened between them.

Moving to a new city didn't feel like starting over. It merely felt like burying something at the bottom of the garden, the grass disturbed, and having to look at the patch of earth as a reminder of what once was.

It was hot again in London.

Billy stared at his phone for most of the evening, waiting for a text from Becky, to tell him that she was moving back in, or that she'd thought things through and decided not to move out.

No such text arrived.

"Put your fucking phone away or I swear to god I am funnelling this pint down you, like it or not", Paddy laughed as he slid into the booth, sliding one pint over to Harry and the other to Billy.

"He's still moping", Harry smirked, which earned a glare.

"Becky again?" Paddy prodded.

Billy sighed, clicking off his phone and turning it face down, "None of your fucking business".

"Woahh! No need for that, is there? C'mon, get it down ya" 

Each of them took a healthy sip of their pint.

"You too, don't be on your phone!" Paddy nudged Harry, trying to get a peek at his phone.

"Fuck off"

Paddy grinned, "Aw, is it a girl?"

"No, it's fucking Abi, you twat".

"S'alright, we don't judge, do we Billy?"

Billy grinned over the rim of his glass in response.

"He coming?" Billy asked.

"Yeah, apparently with Libby", Harry replied, thumbs moving quickly over his screen, "we'll facetime Ami later, when she's awake".

Both Billy and Paddy's eyebrows raised as they looked at each other.

"Together?" Paddy prodded, but Harry only shrugged.

The local pub was mostly empty, with most people outside trying to catch the last bits of sunlight, and getting mauled by mosquitos in the process.

For the most part, Billy watched Paddy and Harry with a smile on his face at how they teased each other talking about trivial things like football and what the hell was going on between their two old friends who kissed in Cranstead Fields all those years ago.

It was a good distraction.

But being with them, made him think of her.

Paddy leaned over, eyes on the door of the pub, "there they ar-oh shit".

Billy furrowed his brows, "What?"

His friend was about to open his mouth again, but it was interrupted by Libby poking her head around to the booth, "Hello! Oo, it's like the gang back together, isn't it?" she smiled.

At her side, Abi, who slid his hand around Libby's waist.

Billy opened his mouth to say hello.

But then he saw her.

And his mouth went completely dry.

He saw her eyes scan the opposite side of the booth, smiling at Paddy and Harry first, and he swears his heart drops into his stomach as she shifts her gaze to him.

The smile on her face falters. 

But not completely.

She catches herself halfway, and it resurfaces.

He can't help the way he studies her as well, like she's a whole new person. Wearing a summer dress with a denim jacket hung on her shoulders, hair down. Her features have matured, but she continues to keep that glimmer of mischievous youth in her eyes.

It was like seeing her for the first time.

"Mind if I sit?"

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