#exteramo love

[toomuchdivergentformyneuro]

HESKSSKSSPOSOSOSKAJDJDHIWJSJDKSJSOSJDJKSKSJDKSJSJSHDOWKAKSOSKSJKSW /pos

as we can see, i’m unbelievably excited, and that is because i’m gonna meet my long distance boyfriend, in person, for the first time, in A WEEK!

A. WEEK.

i’m gonna explode /pos HEPWOISOSKSOSKSKS

[tastethea-bow]

Alright folks, let's talk Alterous Attraction.

Personally love it very much, I have stopped agonizing over whether I feel Romo or not cause it's like there are other Emotional Attractions I could be mistaking it for. It also fits with the whole "can't tell Romantic Attraction" thing I got going on, among other things.

#2, the current state of the definition of Alterous Attraction is fucking chaotic. I propose we treat it as the Non-binary equivalent of the Emotional Attraction spectrum (which isn't my idea btw, I saw this on Reddit/Tumblr). So if the Emotional "binary" is Plato --- Romo, then Alterous is (for example):

*Outside of that binary

*Between Romo & Plato

*Neither Romo or Plato, but "some third thing"

*Both Romo & Plato, which can mean a combination of the two OR a "third thing"

Hopefully you get my drift. People who describe Alterous using Platonic or Romantic Attraction are valid (especially since it's easier to explain to people what Alterous is using those terms). And people who see it as something else are also valid. All these ideas can co-exist. Having Alterous Attraction can mean whatever it means to you as an individual.

(also well aware that Exteramo Attraction is a thing, pretty sure that'd be under the Alterous umbrella in this model)

[lowkey-loki245]

So y'all know, when I say I ship qpr Radioapple, I mean it in a very complicated way. Like, if gender can be so complicated that xenogenders and xenopronouns exist, love can be just as complicated. In my mind, their love isn't romantic or platonic, it's something unique to them. Idk how to describe.

Just did some research and found a word for it. Alterous attraction. Exteramo attraction also fits.

(This actually explains some stuff about myself as an aroace person. I had questioned if this one relationship I had in the past was love or not, but this explains it a lot better. Wish I had done this research sooner.)

[themanirealityshifter]

🪸🐚🪼My Boyfriend In My Merman DR Script🪼🐚🪸

✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧

☆🪸 Name: Darcy 🪸☆

☆🪸 Species: Siren 🪸☆

☆🪸 Age: 21 (immortal though) 🪸☆

✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧

☆��� Pronouns: He/It/They ��☆

☆🐚 Gender Identity: Genderfaun TransGuy 🐚☆

☆🐚 Romantic Orientation: Gay Aroflux 🐚☆

☆🐚 Sexual Orientation: Gay Aceflux 🐚☆

☆🐚 Other Orientation(s): Ambiamorous; Homoalterous; Panaesthetic; Questioning Queerplatonic; Questioning Exteramo 🐚☆

✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧

☆🪼 Parent(s): Star (She/Her, cisgender AFAB) and Pluto (He/Him, cisgender AMAB) 🪼☆

☆🪼 Sibling(s): None 🪼☆

☆🪼 Other Family Member(s): Unnamed Family Members 🪼☆

☆🪼 Partner(s): Cosmo 🪼☆

✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧

☆🦑 Description: Messy, long-ish blond hair; Blue eyes; Gills on both sides of neck; Pale, fair skin, with a green-ish glowy tinge to it; 6’3”; Long, pointed ears; Webbed hands and feet; Fins down spine and along forearms; Feet are feathery and thin, more suited to swimming (think how Harry Potter’s feet looked like when he ate the gilly weed in The Goblet Of Fire); Top and bottom surgery scars; Sharp, pointed teeth 🦑☆

☆🦑 Abilities: Shape-Shifting; Can change appearance at will; Heightened senses (scent, hearing, sight, etc.); Night vision (can see in the dark) 🦑☆

✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧

☆🐋 Extra Fact(s): Cannot die/be killed by anything; Loved ones cannot die/be killed by anything; There’s no pollution whatsoever; No discrimination or hate of any kind (no racism, sexism, queerphobia, ableism, etc.) 🐋☆

✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧

☆🦈 Info on Sirens: Sirens are immortal underwater creatures who have beautiful, mesmerizing singing voices that they can use to lure in fish and humans. They look like humans for the most part, except they have webbed hands and elongated thin fin-like feet, fins on the back of their forearms and down the spine, and have a green-ish glow to their skin. They tend to stay in packs and live in among kelp for better cover from predators (like sharks and other such creatures). Some will stray in families, though. They don’t have sophisticated houses or building, like how merpeople have, but actually have nests where they lay down in piles together when they sleep. They’re more nocturnal, so they usually sleep during the day, but they will and can be awake when they prefer and sleep when they prefer. The age of maturity for Sirens is the same as merpeople’s (20). 🦈☆

✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧

☆🐙 Them in this DR (Picrew Form) 🐙☆

✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧

☆🐠 Inspo Picture For Him 🐠☆

✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧ ✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿

[aquariumsysurls]

Pixal flag Dump!!

Verian/Almondsexual

For People who are usually only attracted to Men/Masc aligned genders & Nonbinary/Adrogynous aligned genders but occasionally feel a little attraction to Women/Fem genders.

by By Ace ☆ Ren on Pinterest

Genderfaunet

A gender identity based off of genderfaun and a form of genderfluidity. genderfaunet is when someone never feels completely female. they can switch between male, nonbinary, and even female gender identities as long as they don't feel completely female. for example they can feel like a demigirl, or librafeminine, but not 100% female. (coined by Ram on tumblr, Flag mabe by BitzOfPuzzelPeices on wiki)

Quaromantic

An Aromantic Identity, and subset of Cavaeromantic, when one feels strong alterous and/or exteramo attraction in place of where romantic attraction would be. An alternative way to describe it is if one's alterous and/or exteramo attraction takes the role of where romantic attraction would be. One way to Visualize it would be if there was various holes in the ground for where each attraction is suppose to contain. the hole that was meant to contain romantic attraction, instead was filled in with strong alterous and/or exteramo attraction. (By ConfusedAsHecc on Reddit)

Wolandsexual

An Orientation on the asexual spectrum in which one feels varying degrees if sexual attraction due to one's disability and/or chronic illness. This can be due to pain and/or (lack of) Spoons. (by Sapphire Crimson-Claw on tumblr)

Nomaromantic

The romantic attraction to all genders except binary man. The term was made with non-binaries in mind but binaries can use it. (by 50wives on Tumblr)

Non-Human Loving Woman Flag

(by Squidthing on tumblr)

Spiralline

An umbrella term with themes of madness, distrusting your senses, unreality, deception, and paradoxes. It has ties to fractal, impossible geometry, mazes, and spiral imagery. This gender may be either terrifying or comforting to the user, but always has an element of fear. This identity may be associated to one's psychotic symptoms, but doesn't have to be. It feels as though you're losing your mind, unable to tell what's real, but knowing something isn't right. Reality has no meaning, as you can't tell where your perceptions end and the "true" world begins. It may feel like you're a paradox of infinite possibility, each spiraling out into endless forms that make you lose yourself in their complexity (Inspired by the Spiral from The Magnus Archives.) (by Cherrymogai on tumblr)

Shapeshifterkin

For those who Identify as a Shapeshifter

By redactedterms on tumblr

Assigned Moth at Birth

(by Gender-Darling on tumblr)

Angel4Angel

(By Squidbxy on tumblr)

Demon4Demon

(By Squidbxy on tumblr)

Demon4Angel

(By Squidbxy on tumblr)

Dragon4Dragon

(By Squidbxy on tumblr)

[neuro-human-sharing-pride]

I found an identity that fits me on Pintrist once’s again and paired with another identity I made a simple edit and scenes I already put it up in Pintrist I’ll also post it here.

Qua - I uses the Quaromantic lable. This is specifically 2 romantic labels with no alternates made but they can be on request

From the wiki: “Quaromantic is an aromantic identity, and subset of cavaeromantic, when one feels strong alterous and/or exteramo attraction in place of where romantic attraction would be. An alternative way to describe it is if one’s alterous and/or exteramo attraction takes the role of where romantic attraction would be”

I have the links for Exteramo and Alterous

The other lable is Cupio. I have issues with the flag, the sexual flag is: Grey - Light Purple - White - Pink. While the romantic is either repsented by the same flag or 2 different variants. The first (more common) is a flipped version with 2 pinky orange stripes. While the second version is Grey - Light Purple - White - Light Green.

I really don’t like either the first for not having green which isn’t a requirement but is common when paired with an Ace-Spec flag. The second has that green but keeps the Ace Purple while getting rid of the Pink. I made this Alternate: Grey - Pink - White - Color (Green / Purple / Blue) for Ace, Aro and AceAro

Cupio is a label that’s defined as someone who does not experience romantic attraction but still desires a romantic relationship.

I’m still Cupio: I don’t have Romantic Attraction -I’ve never felt it more so I fully understand it, I want / Desier a Romantic / Queer Platonic acting relationship. My feelings of Romance is linked to Alterous Attraction. So Alterous Attraction being what I feel + Cupio for what I want which is Cupio + Qua.

I made a simple edit putting the Squareish Heart from the Qua-Romantic flags over my Cupio romantic flag. I filled in the heart with the main flag colors not copying the faded heart exactly. I used that heart on the flag because my scenes of Love is Alterous / Qua -Alterous in place of romance-, while I’m still Cupio.

[arco-pluris]

Forms of Attraction Masterlist

Platonic: the desire of creating a close (or closer) platonic relationship/fellowship/acquaintanceship with another, or a willingness to engage in a very deep symbiotic friendship, sharing interests and experiences, but without the romantic involvement of both parties.

Social: “aspirational” or mentor-attraction; a desire to be closer to and/or more like someone because of their perceived talent and/or wisdom, based on socializing with any particular person(s) or group(s), forming interpersonal/group dynamics and societal relations. Wanting/needing social relationships within the public life sphere, showing themselves as socially closer and more alike you might inspire in you this form of attraction.

Amical: interchangeable with platonicity (sometimes refers to “best friends”); on a higher level of affinity than in just social/interpersonal circles (that are more impersonal).

Qplatonic (queerplatonic, quasiplatonic or quirkyplatonic): between romantic and platonic; neither romantic nor platonic, but can be functionally similar to both; a type of attraction that (while certainly aromantic) cannot be properly reduced to platonic without leaving some important aspects out. Also used as an umbrella term for any relationship that falls outside of the strict “romantic-or-platonic” binary. Can aim to live together, exchange affections interpreted as romantic, have sexual exclusiveness/exclusivity among themselves, among other factors, without having romantic attraction involved.

Ecstatic/emotional: capacity and desire of forming non-hierarchical, mutually nurturing emotional bonds with one or more people in a manner that might or might not depend on gendered preferrences. Amory/romanticity/gamy, alterous, qplatonic, platonic/amical and intellectual/spiritual are all possible subtypes of this one, but there might be others.

Mental (intellectual/psychological/spiritual/intelligible): capacity of forming an intellectual bond with one or more individuals. This bond is related to an exchange of wisdom, knowledge and interests of the involved. 

Doraric (dorare): craving to be close to, serve, and even worship someone out of an adoration which derives itself from attractions that are neither explicitly romantic, nor explicitly platonic. Considered a mix of spiritual and alterous attractions. The need to adora/adorate. Similar to noetic and spirituic.

Aesthetic: given how there is no real biological need of contemplating something beautiful for it is own sake, there is a lot going on for the existence of this attraction. It might be an admiration for the forms of someone who you do not feel otherwise sexually or sensually attracted to, the attraction someone with an artistic mind feels toward a model, and in some cases the simple closeness to an attractive person as a symbol of personal status might be related to the existence of this type of attraction. Desiring to observe a person because one finds them aesthetically pleasing/recognize their appearance (could be either beauty or ugliness).

Sexual: defined by the need of maintaining sexual relations, and oriented towards those persons with whom there are bigger possibilities of pursuing a satisfying sexual relation.

Sensual (in Lusophony we translate it as sensorial because sensual is too close in meaning to sexy in common parlance): desiring to know another by using one’s senses, especially through touch. This is NOT an explicitly sexual form of physical tactility, though it doesn’t have to be strictly romantic in nature either. The capability of being felt or corporeally touched, relating to tactile sensation forming an erotic-sensorial bond.

Erotic: culration of centralized expressions, appreciation for sexual arts or a desire to know someone using one’s senses through explicitly sexual acts (such as gouinage). Considered a mix of aesthetic, sensual, and sexual attraction. Sometimes it describes sexual desire (as in autoerotic).

Presential (tangible/vital/material): like sensual attraction, but more the long for to be in someone’s presence than to touch or be intimate with them. A desire to know someone through their presence without an aspect of intimacy.

Fluitic: being unsure of what one desires from the object of their attraction due to the nature of said attraction being “wavering” (frequently shifting from one type to another).

Romantic: capacity of forming [usually pair-based] bonds that is characterized by idealization (vision of the other part or of the relationship as perfect) and of such socially attributed additions that are commonly characterized by romance (gifts, dates, need to reaffirm the feeling, corniness, daydreaming about weddings and married life, etc.). Sometimes might include possessiveness and that is when it becomes an unhealthy relationship (but that is not necessarily the rule, there are healthy romantic relationships). The bond that gives birth to such serious relationships is called falling in love/passion, synonymous to ardor, adoration, devotion, fondness, intimacy, attachment, courtship, flirtation & dalliance.

Amorous (amoric): amato-attraction; attractions related to love/lovering individual(s). In Portuguese there's a word called amasiar ("to amasiate", living together while not officially out, as in relationship anarchy and Ludus (playful love)); describing serious relationships, affectionacy and liaison, the need of companionship(s) with mutual and consensual commitment, to be consensually intimate, and to feel and show/express an affectional kind you don’t feel towards friends. It could be either an open relation or closed one(s). Not necessarily romantic.

Gamous (marital): could be a subtype of romanticism; the need of marrying someone, civilly/religiously; desiring an eternal and enduring/pragmatic love; caring of someone reciprocatively and expecting it’s love forever and ever.

Alterous (alternative): beyond romantic and platonic but consists of desire for emotional closeness/conversance/familiarity.

Exteramo: a type of attraction that is neither platonic or romantic, rather existing outside of the two and not in between both.

Tutelary/protective (of protection): having a strong desire to take care, protect and support a certain person. It is the attraction one might feel towards a child, a pet or a vulnerable person you are favorably disposed toward them. It is based in a need of feeling needed. Someone who shifts from a normal to a sad or defenseless situation arises in us not just sympathy but also a sense of attraction that gets us involved with them and their needs, without feelings of a need for it to be understood in our terms from their side.

Cedural/submissive (being protected): wanting to feel protected, covered, understood, tutored and supported by someone, feeling needed/necessary. The reversal class of protectivity. In such circumstances in which you feel rather weak and vulnerable, the possibility that someone might protect you makes you feel an attraction towards some certain person.

Grace (of guardians): desire for a guided-like relationship.

Xenial: hospitable attraction that is felt or expressed to receive gain, portrayed to fulfill a goal. Hospital nurses, babysitters, hotel employees, escorts, social workers and anyone who has to give a form of hospitality, or emotional bond, in order to gain something in return (usually money).

Familial/parental: the experience to seek/woo strong familial attachment; similar to storge (familiar affection), also refers to irmanal/sororal/fraternal desire for your own kinsmen and lifelong friends, deeply attached to their family name, who remember lineal members who pass on with great fondness, honouring to descendants, bestowed on this attractional type, as its importance to them. Parental covers maternal, paternal and naternal/zaternal.

Sources: [x] [x] [x] [x] [x] [x] [x] (last two aren’t mentioned here, but are useful references).

I’m going to update this post and put it on my blog. Impersonal attraction is more like a modifier (of attractional levels) than another type, so it's not described here. I feel alterous attraction has a longer definition as it encompass many experiences (such as spiritual and familial).

[ziptie-bouquet]

In my experience with tertiary attraction (exteramo) it's kinda like how people who experience romantic attraction describe it, you kinda "know" it's not romantic or platonic?

To me when I felt it it felt like "raw unlabeled love" if that makes any sense???? And I'm genuinely so confused if that's what romance is supposed to be or not.

But yeah I only ever felt that after having a sexual relationship and at first I was very confused about whether or not it was romantic (we decided to drop the romantic tag because it was making us both uncomfy).

Idk it's just all so weird and cool. I do wish it was clearer tho. Also yeah romantic thoughts never cross my mind when looking at strangers unlike the sexual ones and when I realized that I was like ????

I think what first oriented me towards the aro label is when I realized that I didn't really associate romantic attraction to anything other than sensual or sexual attraction.

I realized something was up when I introspected and saw all my "crushes" were me being extremely horny for a specific person and that LDRs just didn't work.

I'm not sure if this is just a lack of romantic attraction or if I can only love physically and like ?????

[trollicorn]

Meeeeeeee. Once in highschool I thought I had a crush on someone but I was actually just sick that day. it’s all that talk about feelings in your stomach and it’s realllllllllllyyyyy hard to tell the emotions from sickness.

I experience a lot of tertiary attractions (platonic, alterous, sensual, aesthetic, presential, exteramo, domestic, emotional, noetic, playful, ludic (in an entirely non sexual way), etc etc…. just a lot of non-rose attraction going on) so it took a long time for me to realise I was aroace.

I found out I was ace much earlier (mostly because I was much less precious about the idea of a sexual relationship then a romantic one, so I accepted it right away) meanwhile I was longing for the idea of a relationship which I now realise is not even romantic at all but rather queerplatonic.

It’s the sensual, alterous, and (non sexual) ludic attractions that tripped me up the most; it all feels very… Sapphic (It’s mostly girls). I LOVE flirting and a whole variety of intimacies — but it’s not romantic. I started tentatively identifying as somewhat aro-spec about a year and a half after I discovered I was ace, and it was around that time that a got a girlfriend! Just, all of a sudden.

I have a “wife” system which is basically where I jokingly ask people (of every gender, they’re all wives, even the boys) and I keep track of my ‘wife stats’ and it’s all basically an excuse to flirt and cuddle with a large variety of people.

So there was this girl, and I thought she was cute so I married her, and then we went on a couple dates, and I flirted very hard with her, and she showed me her pansexual pride pins, and I showed her my ace rings in typical sapphic fashion and within a week she was like “are we going on ‘wife’ dates or like,, real ones?”

So of course I said they could be real if she would like, and that’s how I got a girlfriend. I told her I was arospec, of course — I said I thought that I was probably demi or gray, “so let’s,, you know,,, slow down a bit, we just met”. She agreed with that as well.

but over the months of having this (lovely!) girlfriend I identified that there was something wrong here. A disconnect, if you will. The way I felt about her wasn’t all that different to how I felt about any of The Wives™, the only one I could identify, really, was the simple agreement that it was different.

Also my experiences with her weren’t matching up with her experiences with me. I didn’t break up with her though — I really didn’t want to — so I just had a conversation with her (“hey I’m not sure where I’m at exactly, but if you enjoy what we’re doing, and I do too, we might as well keep doing that, in the meantime?”), and called for us to go label-less.

At that point I researched into aromantic identities and figured myself out. I also had conversations with my other ace friend so I could understand out their experiences with romance

(And now instead of being label-less she and I use both the terms ‘girlfriend’ and ‘queerplatonic partners’)

(also instead of actually using the term ‘Zucchini’ I call her ‘Zucca’ and she calls me ‘Zuki’ which I’m sharing just because I think it’s cute)

Controversial take: There are probably many, many more aro-spec and ace-spec out there that are just unaware that they aren’t experiencing attraction like everyone else - sincerely, an aro ace-spec who thought they were 100% allo because they’re stupid /affectionate /hj

To clarify, no, this isn’t to put down romance/sex-repulsed individuals, ya’ll are great /gen, I just personally never considered I was aroace because I wasn’t romance or sex repulsed and I wouldn’t doubt that this may be a more universal experience

[toomuchdivergentformyneuro]

we’re gonna go to my local library for the first day/date together. build legos there, i’ll show him around the whole library, show him all the books, which are good, which are bad, which i’ve read, which i want to read. then we’ll eat lunch either inside the library or outside in the park area right next to it, and i’m gonna make him try dairy-free cheese, cuz it’s gross as shit and i wanna see what he thinks of it. and hopefully if it isn’t too hot, and we’re feeling up for it, we’ll do some quads together.

EEEEEE IM JUST SO EXCITED

we’re gonna be SOBBING our eyes out /pos

EEEEE OMG OMG OMG

and we’re gonna do a movie marathon while he’s here!!! HTTYD since we both love it and we haven’t watched it IN AGES, and i fucking adore it since its DRAGONS eeeeeee!!!!

IM SO EXCITED AHSLISSKSKKSKSS

HESKSSKSSPOSOSOSKAJDJDHIWJSJDKSJSOSJDJKSKSJDKSJSJSHDOWKAKSOSKSJKSW /pos

as we can see, i’m unbelievably excited, and that is because i’m gonna meet my long distance boyfriend, in person, for the first time, in A WEEK!

A. WEEK.

i’m gonna explode /pos HEPWOISOSKSOSKSKS