#exposing myself as a loser
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gogodollie · 1 month ago
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dana scully of x files fame is soooooo sister imperator inspo to me like. this scene is literally her waow…..
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bloodshotgun · 8 months ago
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i'm terrified of losing my wallet not due to money loss of whatever but because i currently live in a small catholic town and the poor fuck who'd see and decide to pick it up off the ground would be subjected to this motherfucker
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which now that i'm actually thinking about it would be funny as fuck i should start leaving it random places just to see tied up hoffman's impact
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nonokoko-draws · 25 days ago
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SPOILERS FOR 2024 JP BIRTHDAY CARDS
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Stinky emo boy PUT THOSE GRIPPERS AWAY❗❗❗❗
He looks just like how I imagined he would dress to stay at his bedroom and I adore itttt. I foresaw the baggy pants, the premo shirt, his groovy being him at his room with some sort of device in hands and his bigass forehead shown <333
THE EMO BANG COVERING ONE EYE OMGGGGG JESUS HE LOOKS SO FINE AND EDGY 😩😩😩😫😫😫😫😫
Bet that was his usual get to go hairstyle when he was 13-15 he went through edgy wattpad/AO3 phase and never looked back. I do not like he's wearing the full track-suit because he reminds of a 60↑ something character who also wears blue/orange tracksuits and it gives middle aged unemployed or PE teacher vibes in general but then again what was I expecting from Idia. Tho his outfit really fits the hikikomori "style"? Like that's something people picture depressed people who isolates themselves wear indoors and I guess it makes sense Yana would go down that route. I still wish he was the type who wears over the top cutesy or otaku clothing even if it was only when he's not in public because he likes idols and cutesy anime (In Epel's hometown event he talks about an old anime about friendship among young girls so it was probably a shoujo marketed to kids or women) so I believe it would make sense he owns stuff like that and was proudly wearing it but ig that's why hcs and fanarts are for ✨
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leodanbrock · 7 months ago
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hey would there be any chance of you turning your dracopia poster into a gif similar to this set /post/753627886619099136/paramore-as-goosebumps-covers? i really like your style of edits :)
hi! i don't take gif requests, i'm sorry 😞 i took requests during my critrole days and it burnt me out so hard i didn’t make gifs for 3 years, i only learned how to make them again a few months ago and still got training wheels on! i don’t make ghost gifs but here's some talented people i know of that you should check out if gifs are what you're after: @ghoulymadge @copia @ghuleh-recs @copias-juicebox
feel free to plug yourself in the replies if you see this also. i'm not sure what the etiquette is for requests these days but remember to be polite and if your requested is denied, don't be a dick <3
also edit: can't believe this needs to be said but please don't ask people to turn something of mine into a gif when i didn't want it to be a gif in the first place? that's my creative choice, as is anyone choosing to do a sketch or a painting you feel? <3
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mayplantstarrwaters · 8 months ago
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im like if a loser has superior complex
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spaceshipellie · 1 year ago
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i need some advice
i've been talking with a girl on this app for a while now and i really like her but i've never really flirted with anyone so i have absolutely no idea what to do
do you happen to have any advice for me? 🥸
oooooh okay
flirting over text is sometimes hard i think because you can’t use the tone of your voice but maybe if you don’t already, slip in the occasional pet name like babe, baby etc (but then i do this with people i’m trying to flirt with and with people who are just friends oops)
taking an interest in her hobbies and asking her to tell you more about them i think is cute.. this also goes hand in hand with compliments that aren’t solely about appearance (those aren’t bad tho obvs)
i also always think a bit of teasing is hot and can make a conversation go from friendly to flirty and/or suggestive
make her laugh!!
no idea if this helps ahshdhfj but these are things i would like. good luck anon!!
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playingonedchess · 5 months ago
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bloody hell im so bloody isolated theres no way near enough peer pressure anymore to be at least a bit embarrassed about liking stuff
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i-am-simply-here · 7 months ago
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Seeing the phrase "support your sisters not your cisters" just reminded me of an interaction that haunts me to this day
So like at my old job there was this group of clearly queer people. They weren't in my department so I never really had the chances to interact with them, just saw them in passing often. But I really wanted to interact with them bc I was lacking in queer friends and they seemed like fun.
So, one day, one of the women in the group stops me and compliments my outfit (tbh I got a lot of compliments that day which bewildered me bc I wore than fit often). Then she asks for my pronouns, and despite the fact that I hadn't ever told my coworker, who was right next to me, abt me being nb, I answered any pronouns (and I was so flustered about this bc omg the trans woman I've been wanting to be friends with just complimented me and asked for my pronouns).
Fast forward a little bit. I'm in the break room in the back that I rarely go to bc the other coffee machine was broken. That group is in there. That woman is like "oh I want to show you my stickers, I think you'd like them" and shows me a bunch of queer stickers on her water bottle, one which includes that phrase I mentioned earlier. And my awkward autistic ass did not know how to react or respond (and again I was flustered bc she was talking to me) so I responded pretty mutely and awkwardly. Probably seemed disinterested and like I didn't want them talking to me 😔
Anyway they never interacted with me again after that 😭 and I didn't know how to approach them at all. So I blew my chance at being friends with them and I thought of that awkward interaction every time I saw them.
It plagues my mind often.
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supermarketcrush · 1 year ago
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why tf is tumblr trying to gaslight me into thinking i have over 700 followers now
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yuwuta · 9 months ago
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CAN’T KEEP MY HANDS TO MYSELF (I MEAN I COULD, BUT WHY WOULD I WANT TO?) — JJK BOYS + TOO HOT
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featuring. gojo, okkotsu, choso, itadori, fushiguro
content, warnings. playing too hot with the jjk boys—(too hot is a party game in which two people kiss while keeping their hands to themselves; the first person to touch their partner loses), making out, tongue sucking, uhhh slight predator/prey in yuuta’s oops, they’re a bunch of losers to be honest, there’s a word for the thing yuuji does but i don't know it lolol
word count. 1.6k
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SATORU GOJO Satoru is prideful, but you also know that he is nothing if not handsy, borderline clingy on his worst days. The concept of personal space is foreign to him, he’s rarely not touching you when you’re in his proximity, and when you aren’t, he closes that gap—so you’re confident that he’ll lose this game. 
And he does. It takes ninety-two seconds for Satoru to put his hands on you; his palms cupping your cheeks, forcing your jaw open for him to lick at your tongue. You yelp in surprise, try to take in your victory, taunt that you’ve won, but Satoru’s playing an entirely different game now. “I know, I lost,” he pushes his thumbs at the corners of your mouth, parting your lips and staring at your open mouth. Briefly, his eyes flicker to yours, drinks in your pliant expression, the soft touch of your fingers around his wrists, the feel of your body sinking below him, and he smiles, “But I want something else right now. Indulge me?” 
You tap at his right wrist and he moves his thumbs away from your lips, stroking against the soft skin of your cheeks instead so you can speak, “You lost, you’re not supposed to make demands.” 
“Take pity on a rookie like me, won’t you?” Satoru hums, tilting his head to kiss your cheek, then closer, just below your bottom lip, “Please, sweets?” 
“Depends on what you want,” you pout, but your words are strained against Satoru’s kisses. He grins, guiding a thumb back to your lips, this time pressing past the barrier of your lips until they’re wrapped around his digit, smile turning cheshire when he feels you sucking, “I have a different game we can play instead.” 
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YUUTA OKKOTSU “Ah, ah—” you pull away from Yuuta, much to his dismay, pulling the hem of your shirt from his grasp, “That counts as touching. You’re not supposed to touch, Yuuta.” 
He’s looking at you intensely, gaze bordering on predatory, slow blinking with blown-out pupils. He nods shallowly, moving his hand from where it was to your side, palm pressing into the couch next to your thigh; it lets him that much closer to you, the tip of his nose grazing yours, you can feel his laborious breaths tickle your lips. Yuuta tilts his head ever so slightly and pauses, blinks, waits—for you to make a sound, for you to tell him no again, for you to run. 
You don’t. He shifts his weight and positions his other hand to rest at your side, caging you between his arms, slotting you underneath his gaze. You curl underneath him, backing up until you’re pressed against the arm of the couch, until Yuuta’s crawled to slot his knee between your legs. You crane your neck away, but you’re still within his reach, and now you’ve presented the perfect canvas for him. He dips his head into your collarbone, leaves a deceptively soft kiss there before nosing up the expanse of your exposed skin and sinking his teeth into your neck. 
Yuuta feels you tense underneath him, body going rigid in a moment of surprise, and then slacking with an exhaled moan, like a bitten bunny. Reflexively, your hands find purchase in his hair, and Yuuta nips over the tender skin, and smiles, “Caught you.” 
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CHOSO KAMO “You’re nervous,” you conclude, pulling away from the shallow kiss Choso gave you. 
Beside you, he’s flushed, a hand coming up to reach at the back of his neck as he replies, “I don’t know why,” he exhales, “It’s just... weird to not touch you. I have to think about not touching you, and that means I have to think, which tends to make me, you know... nervous.” 
You giggle, leaning in closer to him, careful not to touch; careful to keep your hips raised above his, even as you straddle him, keep your arms and hands at your sides even though the instinct is to wrap them around Choso’s neck. He doesn’t pull back, even though he should; you like that he doesn’t. “You don’t like to think about me?” 
“No—no! Not like that,” he’s too loud for the proximity, sighing in embarrassment shortly after; you’re too close, way too close, and he’s not supposed to touch, but he wants to—Choso doesn’t like this feeling of restraint, of constriction; it’s too close to when he had a hopeless crush on you, to when he was pining and praying you’d spare him the time of day. Isn’t the point of dating that he gets to have you? To touch you, to hold you—to not hold back? 
“Because I like to think about you,” you admit, leaning in even closer, pressing a kiss to the base of Choso’s neck—and he whines, “I think about you a lot, Choso.” 
The sound of his name from your lips is sweet torture, as is the way you trail your kisses up his neck, up his jaw, behind his ear. Choso’s certain he’s going to rip a hole in his jeans with how taut he’s pulling them between his fists. This isn’t fair—nothing about this is fair. “I don’t want to play anymore,” Choso whines, eyes screwing shut when you suck a hickey onto his collar.
“But we’ve only just started,” you giggle against his skin, “And nobody’s won yet.”
Choso bites his lips, his knuckles are sore, his resolve is weak, and you smell good, you feel good—and he can’t do this. Pathetic, maybe, but he doesn’t care; he didn’t make you yours to try and stay away from you. So, Choso gives in, unwinds his fists, places one hand on your waist, and the other against your back, pulling you flush against him, and burying his face in your neck. 
“There, I lose,” he grumbles, not caring for your laughter reverberating against his chest, “Now I can touch you as much as I want.” 
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YUUJI ITADORI “Th—this isn’t fair,” you tremble, attempting to move away from his kisses, but you’re caged in between Yuuji and the wall. There’s nowhere for you to run, nothing for you to grab purchase onto but Yuuji—nothing to do but lose. 
“I didn’t hear any rules against this,” he feigns innocence, suckling at your skin, “Think it’s fair game.”
You close your eyes, trying to focus on something, anything else, but it’s hard when all you can see, all you can feel is Yuuji, Yuuji, Yuuji. Kissing up your neck, at your cheek, then your lips, and you find yourself sighing into his touch, balling your hands into fists to avoid the temptation of cupping his face. 
Yuuji moans when he feels your tongue against his, kisses you back fervently, swirling his tongue across yours and into the cavity of your mouth. He inhales all your breaths, makes it impossible for you to do anything but succumb to his kiss, to swallow his moans, to take everything he gives you. You didn’t expect Yuuji to have this much resolve—you’d anticipated a short, cute round of a silly party game, but you should have known better; Yuuji has never lost a challenge before, and you were naive, at best, to think otherwise.
Predictably, it’s you that lets go first, whining when Yuuji sucks on your tongue, hands trembling and reaching to hold him, to cling to him as some kind of recourse, unable to squirm or move anywhere else. That doesn’t stop him—Yuuji only sucks harder, only forces more moans out of you until you’re digging your nails into his shoulders and bending your knees, weak. 
Then he pulls back, leaving you breathless, tilting his head up to kiss your forehead and flashing you a grin that’s equal parts boyish and wicked with intent, “I win.” 
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MEGUMI FUSHIGURO It’s the kind of thing he usually turns down; cliché, fruitless, and unnecessarily time-consuming; but it’s you, so he makes the exception. You’re too eager, positioning yourself to sit on your hands, your legs folded under your knees, peering up at him from where he’s sat slack against the couch, and he thinks you look awful cute on your knees for him.
“Okay, ready?” you smile, “Three, two—” but Megumi already knows his plan, already has his lips on yours before you can say “one,” drinking in your surprised yelp and greedily licking against your tongue when you part your lips to kiss him back. He turns his body towards you slightly, taking advantage of his height and position to bully you into chasing him upwards, to push his tongue into your mouth with ease. 
He indulges in the back and forth for a while, sighs into your kisses, groans when you nip at him. It’s when you pull away, that Megumi decides he’s played along long enough; when he can see your chest swell with heaving breaths, see your hands in your lap, neck craned and spit-slick lips that drive him to reach for you. He’s less than gentle, hands finding purchase on your hips, and forcefully pulling you into his lap, ignoring your yelping, choosing to turn them into moans when he sinks his teeth into your neck. Megumi licks, and bites, and bites, and bites, until he’s certain he’s left a mark, until he feels your hands tugging at his hair and giving him permission to splay his palms against your back and buck you forward.  
“I lose,” he hums, soothing over raw bitten skin with open-mouthed kisses, “So, how do you wanna punish me?”
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mattybsgroupie · 8 months ago
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late night rides | matt sturniolo
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contents: fwb; making out; oral (m receiving); thigh riding (f); fingering (f receiving); use of “y/n”; lowkey sub!matt;
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notes: thank you for the overwhelming feedback on my first post! over 700 notes and 100 followers you guys are insane lol ♡ here’s something else, sweeter, sillier and more light-hearted than the other one. still no p in v tho cause virgin stupid inexperienced loser matt drives me insane - but i’ll make sure to bring it next time ;) maybe soft dom!matt? or a reeeally sub one with a mommy kink? let me know your thoughts! 
- ♡ -
matt had finally found a spot to park after dropping his brothers off to a party we were not going to. i took my seatbelt off, getting comfortable to hang out with him for a couple of hours before picking them up again.
“fuck it” matt said and suddenly smashed his lips against mine, holding my face with both hands.
i melted into his touch. how could i not when feeling the pressure of the kiss growing bigger and his digits slowly caressing my cheek?
one of my hands traveled to the back of matt’s neck, fingers passing through his fluffy curls. he put his tongue out, licking my lips as a sign he wanted to do it the french way - i knew very well where this was gonna end.
matt’s hand reached to my waist, trying to bring me near to his chest, yet failing because of the distance between our seats. i couldn’t help myself from moving onto his lap, instinctively getting closer while he placed his free hand at the back of my head, playing with my hair and deepening the kiss.
my heart started beating faster and matt was breathing heavily - and he had to pull away to get some air back. our bodies, however, were still attached to each other. his forehead touched mine, keeping our faces together so i could see the trail of spit that connected our lips. as he calmed down, we hadn’t stopped staring at each other. i don’t think we could, even if we wanted to.
i missed him so much. it had been so long since the last time we were that intimate, that close, that needy.
and i was dripping wet.
i smashed my lips against his once again and he held me down by my hips before slowly brushing his digits against my ass, as if he was silently waiting for permission to touch me. my response was to move myself further to his crotch, which he understood as a “yes” and allowed himself to have fun groping my butt.
while our tongues would interlock and turn with the lewd, wet sounds taking over the darkened car, i found myself grinding over his bulge. i could feel matt growing hard under me as his grip tightened, leaving marks on my skin.
“matt” i was the one who gasped for air this time, looking at his chest and bringing my eyes down to where our parts met. he widened his blue orbs, as if he didn’t notice he had grown rock hard while kissing me.
“need you” he whispered in my ear. “fuck y/n- need you so bad”
“yeah?” i smiled, biting his ear back. “i can tell you missed me”, i joked while palming the boner over his jeans.
“this?” he pointed his index finger down, and i nodded. matt’s cheeks grew red, completely flustered “im gonna cream my pants in a few minutes if you keep on humping me like that” he laughed it off.
“you have always been my good boy, haven’t you matt?” i cooed, caressing his hair. i noticed how his look had shifted, his expression softening as i praised him. “gonna make me feel good first, hm?”
“yes” he whimpered. “yes, fuck i’ll be so good for you”
i removed my shirt, exposing my black lingerie to him. matt gasped, holding my hips tighter and adjusting himself “you’re so fucking hot”, he said while trying to untie my bra before looking at me with puppy eyes “can i? please?”
he couldn’t even wait for my breasts to be completely exposed, fully sticking his face against my skin. matt started to lick one of my nipples, making me whine at the sudden contact. his tongue would twirl around it while he massaged my other boob with his free hand, making sure both of them were getting enough attention. i unconsciously went back to grind over his bulge, trying to get some relief to my aching cunt.
“matt” i moaned, trying to catch my breath before asking him “haven’t i taught you how to use those fingers properly?”
“uhum, y-yes” he muffled, too busy sucking my nipple to say anything else. “then fucking use them”.
matt’s hands moved to my ass, pulling my sweatpants down without even asking. he started teasing the waistband of my panties, slowly scratching my skin and giving me goosebumps. he left a trail of love bites all the way up to my neck, and we couldn’t stop kissing anymore.
we were acting like two horny teens - my face was scratched from matt’s newly, but poorly shaved beard and i distracted myself while biting his neck, leaving a purple hickey that i knew he would jokingly be mad about the next morning.
after what felt way too long, matt’s fingers finally met my soaked underwear. he’d move his digits through the cloth, stopping by my clit and slowly circling it before coming back to my entrance. he managed to pull my panties aside, just enough to get two of his fingers to rub against my pussy.
matt looked at me, silently asking for permission to put a finger in. i nodded frantically - i needed him so bad.
his middle finger slowly entered my tight hole, making me clench against his hand. matt started pushing it in at a torturing pace, causing me to whimper and bite his shoulders to cover my moans. his thumb made it’s way back to my clit, applying pressure and rubbing it quickly. as i throbbed, he went further and put his other finger inside, filling me up completely.
as matt went back to my boobs, i would move my hips up and down to meet his digits, both of us completely covered in sweat. matt’s thrusts started to get faster and deeper while i humped myself against him, feeling the knot in my lower belly begging to be released.
my hands went to his hair, pulling it so hard matt let out a groan. my lips opened apart, loud moans filling the car as i got closer to the edge.
“let your good boy taste you” he said. “come in my fingers babe, please” was all that he needed to say for me to reach my orgasm, trembeling and leaking onto his hand, my body collapsing over his.
“gosh” i whined, gradually coming back to my senses. matt kissed my forehead and caressed my back before removing his fingers off me.
those blues eyes of his starred at mine as he placed both wet fingers on his tongue, teasing me as he licked all of it “you’re so fucking delicious”.
“we gotta stop doing that” i said jokingly.
“but- i behaved!” matt looked so confused, he had high hopes of getting a reward. “didn't even… make a mess in my pants” he shyly whispered, looking away.
how could i say no?
“you’ve been a good boy, so i'll let you choose. do you want my hands or my mouth?”
“mouth” he responded immediately, without even thinking. “please, wanna cum in your mouth”.
i pulled my pants up and got off his lap, crawling back to the passenger's seat. i couldn't help but smile at how desperate he looked, begging me to quickly unbutton his jeans. i teased him over his boxers, pumping his shaft over the cloth before freeing his hard cock.
i had completely forgotten.
matt was huge.
i slowly wrapped my fingers around his naked length and already could feel him twitching. “such a sensitive boy” i said before getting closer to the tip, giving it a kitten lick. “y/n, fuck” matt gasped.
my lips swallowed his tip, already wet with pre-cum, and i slowly made my way down matt’s cock, my free hand pumping what i couldn’t fit inside of my mouth. i could hear his small cries, asking me to go faster “ah- i’m getting close”. 
matt’s hands finally got tired of gripping his own seat and were placed at the back of my hair, him trying to lead the pace as i bobbed my head up and down. matt was so sensitive his hips started bucking up, thrusting at the end of my throat and making me gag, saliva traveling down his cock. “wanna cum, p-please” he begged. it took him only two more thrusts to release on my tongue - without even warning me. matt’s legs were trembling and he had finally let go of my hair, breathing heavily as he came back from his high.
i swallowed his sticky spurt and showed him my tongue, making matt grunt in desperation before pulling me to another kiss. just when we had calmed down, slowing getting back in the mood, his phone started to ring, text messages sounds taking over the now silent car. matt complained and rolled his eyes back before checking “fuck’s sake, it's chris”.
i laughed at matt’s frustration and patted his thigh before he pulled his jeans up. “well, at least we had some fun” i said, giving him a peck on the cheek while he texted his brother back.
“no! i wanted to fuck you” he said blatantly, still writing.
“that's not how you talk to a lady!” i slapped his arm.
“you, a lady? sure” he blocked the screen, putting his cellphone in his pocket and starting the car. “so, same time next week?”
- ♡ -
PART 2
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januaryembrs · 7 months ago
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Hi!! Could I please order a spicy hot chocolate for Spencer Reid? (Like you know, the ones that people put cayenne pepper in?!)
You’re an incredible writer and human!
BROTHER'S BEST FRIEND | Spencer Reid x Reader
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description: your brother brings home his dorky college classmate, Spencer
length: 2.5k
warnings: spicy, SMUT (omg Em attempts smut and even then its pretty tame but why are my hands shaking), minors dni! heed my warnings this is not for you minors!! nipple stuff, mens genitalia mentioned, Spencer and reader get horny for one another oop. I really hope this is okay I've literally written smut once and even then I second guessed myself so much. SEASON ONE GLASSES SPENCE. BROTHER'S BEST FRIEND SPENCE. smut under the cut.
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You felt eyes on you without even having to turn where you were stuffing laundry into the washing machine, your face sweaty with the midsummer heat. 
“Jesus Christ, you look like Hot Topic threw up on you,” Your brother’s voice resounded as two sets of footsteps entered the kitchen, and someone cleared their throat where you were bent over, denim shorts riding high up your ass cheeks. 
Flicking a look over your shoulder, you pulled the spoon full of peanut butter out of your mouth, yanking a headphone out of your ear to address him. 
“Don’t shit your pants, dickbrains, it’s all I have until my clothes are clean,” You snapped at Ryan, tongue dancing with the creamy, sweet spread, and your eyes dropped to his left where his best friend fussed over his sweater cuffs, a duffel bag on his back, and your eyes softened as you saw Spencer looking flushed in your kitchen, “Hi, Spence,” 
“Hi,” He peeped shyly, and you smiled widely at the obscenely tall boy who had been to your house a number of times. Ryan had met Spencer on the first day of college, or at least his first day. For Spencer, it had been six years already, his third doctorate well underway, and the two had quickly bonded over something dumb and nerdy you’d never bothered to take note of. You clicked the dials on the machine to a low setting, pouring some detergent into the drum and pressing the ‘Start’ button.
“You guys doing homework?” You asked, fixing where your shirt slouched off the side of your shoulder, exposing your lack of bra and baring your collar bones, and you were quick to catch the way Spencer’s hazel hues fell there with something fleeting and guilty in his expression. 
“We’re not twelve years old calculating how many watermelons Sally and Jess have all together,” Your brother scoffed, screwing his lips in annoyance, just as much as any twenty year old pumped full of hormones and energy drinks. “We’re writing a paper on thermodynamics; Spencer’s staying over tonight,”
Rolling your eyes at his know it all snark, you pulled a face back at him, despite the fact you were one year older. You looked to his left where Spencer stuffed his hands in his pockets, his cheeks pink as he caught himself like a fly in honey in one of your usual arguments. 
“Do you want a drink, Spence?” You offer, ignoring Ryan’s shitty attitude, heading over to the fridge and swinging the door open, your fathers bottles of beer clinking together where they lay flat on the top shelf. 
“Soda would be great, please,” Spencer murmured, trying not to stare as you leaned over, those little, black hot pants skirting up so far his face felt feverish and he forced himself to look at the linoleum tiles in a scrambled attempt to control his thoughts. 
He felt like a kid again, with a stupid little crush on the older girl who batted her lashes and called him Spence and smiled at him like you knew exactly how you made that big brain of his turn to mush when you spoke to him. 
Handing him a Coke, he tried to ignore the way your cold fingers brushed and avoided your gaze at all cost.
“Thankyou,” He said, his voice cracking in the very middle of it in a way that made him feel like a total loser, and he heard you giggle, his neck growing a prickling hot. 
Before you could say much else, his friend grabbed his sleeve, tugging him in the direction of his room where you couldn’t bother them anymore. 
Spencer was thinking about your laugh the entire afternoon, until they gave up writing and turned to watching Star Trek, the evening air quickly turning humid and dark, and he begged the tightness in his boxers to leave him be for even just a second.
Only, he found no such luck, tortured by the thought of you being just a single flight of stairs away from him. 
You were doing dishes by the time you heard him again. Assuming it was Ryan, you made no effort to greet him since it usually was only responded with a grunt or cuss anyways. 
Except you could tell by the footsteps that were too careful, the presence that was too soft, even by the way he cleared his throat nervously, that it certainly wasn’t your obnoxious brother who had come into the kitchen for a midnight snack. 
Whirling around at the sound, Spencer stood on the other side of the dining table you'd been sitting at just a few hours ago eating pasta and listening to your mom recounting her stressful day in the office. Thin, framed glasses perched on his nose, ones you’d never seen before, glinting in the light from the oven as he blinked at you behind the lenses. 
“Spence,” You said with a tired smile, eyes dropping to his shirt and plaid trousers, “Cute jammies,” 
He paused for a second, looking down to the grey Doctor Who set, a diagram of the TARDIS splayed across his chest, and he blanked when he tried to figure out if you were kidding or being genuine, “Thank you. You too,”
He didn’t know why he’d said it, maybe because that’s just what you do when someone is being kind, except only then did he look at what you were wearing, and impossibly so it was even more scandalous than what you were wearing earlier. 
A tank top, if he could even call it that with how far it rode up, and a lacy pair of blush underwear, a pretty white bow resting just below your belly button. 
Following his gaze as it devoured your exposed appendage, you grinned at him devilishly, “Sorry, it gets pretty hot in my room at night,” 
“Y-yeah I can imagine you-you’re hot,” He stammered, realising what he said when you raised a brow at him, “B-because you’re a floor up, I mean, and heat rises because hot air has a lower particle density than cool air although some physicians believe-”
“I know what you meant, Spence,” You said with a smirk, moving around the table to stand in front of him, your feet padding softly against the cold floor. Looking up at him with a tilted head, you inspected the frames you realised were a mahogany brown now you were close enough to see them properly, you peered past the lenses and right into where his doe eyes stared back at you, skittish and flustered, “Are these new?” 
Spencer licked his lips nervously, “I used to wear glasses when I was a kid but now I wear contacts,” He said, rubbing clammy palms over his trousers. He could smell your detergent from here, the same one he’d seen you pour over your laundry just a few hours earlier, ‘Blossom breeze’ or something girly and sweet and floral like that. He didn’t know the brand, but it was entirely intoxicating, except he suspected it had nothing to do with the liquid and more to do with the fact he could see your nipples pressing against your shirt when you stood so close to him, “Girls don’t really think scrawny guys in glasses are.. hot,” 
You sniggered, though your brows furrowed the slightest bit, “Who told you that?” 
“Lot’s of girls, more than once actually, it’s just kind of common knowledge,” He fumbled, his chest pricking with nerves when your fingers moved up to grip his waist gently, thumbs danced down his hip bones, the gentle touch alone stirring his cock into a painfully hard stance. He gulped, the sound loud in the sombre twilight of the kitchen, and for a guy who had aced every single test he’d ever taken, who played chess against himself for fun to guess his next five moves, Spencer had no clue where he existed outside of your body so close to his, looking at him like he was a puppy begging for treats if he gave paw. 
“I think those girls are absolute boneheads if they can’t see how pretty you are, Spence,” You said his name as if it was the only one that had ever mattered, and he couldn’t help how his chest swelled at the sentiment, even if he wasn’t so off guard as to actually believe that. You’d always had this way of making people feel special, he saw it at your family barbecue last Summer, when your cousins flocked around you like you were their Queen Bee, how you seemed to make waiters and waitresses alike flush under your preening smiles and 'please's and 'thankyou's whenever you took Spencer and your brother out for dinner. 
“T-thankyou,” He replied after a thick breath, his chest rattling as you pulled him towards your calm figure, and he let himself be guided like he were leashed, “Y-you’re pretty too,”
He wanted to tell you so much more than that, that you were beautiful like all the popular girls at school were, only humble and kind like the golden part of you glittered inside too, except before he could even attempt at expanding on his three pathetic little words he’d stammered through laboured breaths, he effectively got fully disconnected from his brain when you leaned in towards his face and brushed your nose against his, testing the waters. 
Your gaze trailed up to his innocently, so close he could feel your minty breaths fanning over his bottom lip, and he guessed you’d already brushed your teeth ready for bed. 
“You really think I’m pretty, Spence?” You asked naively, even if he knew it was just because he forgot how to speak when you were too forward, as if you were trying not to spook a deer. He nodded quickly, his eyes zeroing on where your mouth was mere centimetres away from him, one single shiver in his spine and he would be kissing you, and like you’d heard his train of thought, you pushed your lips against his softly, his body jolting with an electric shock. 
There could be sirens surrounding the entire house and he would be none the wiser, because in mere seconds his blood was rushing through his eardrums, sounding like radio static, and it was only when he felt the vibration of it against his mouth did he realise you’d whined, and his hands sprung to life, cupping both your cheeks and tugging you closer to his face as if he was clinging onto every second of the feeling. 
Spencer groaned, a sound he didn’t even realise he was going to make until he felt your fingers squeeze him lightly, and he snapped back into his body like a hair tie slinging him back into a world where the girl he’d had a teeny, tiny, maddening crush on for months was making out with him in her kitchen. 
“‘Gotta be quiet, baby, my parents are asleep,” You said, breathless as you ripped yourself away from him, despite the fact he was insistently pulling you back towards his mouth, and you smiled up at his urgency, “You ever kissed a girl before, Spence?”  
He sighed, and you’d never counted him as sassy until you heard it, almost spoiled and bratty now you’d given him a taste of heaven and held it back from him for the sake of small talk.
“Once, at recess in fifth grade, but it wasn’t like this,” He said, yanking you back towards him ravenously, and you let him devour your lips again, grinning into his desperate mouth, “Never been like this,” 
You weren’t sure whether he meant himself or what was likely a peck on the lips between kids as a dare, but you didn’t think too hard about it, as you slotted yourself back into his rough hands, calluses on the insides of his right fingertips from the years holding a pen so hard he might just break it. He felt your mouth open, and he followed your lead, your tongue feathering out with a shyness you showed nowhere else. And it was like every single statistic and number and fact about sharing saliva flew out of his head with wanton need as he dove right for the source, the tip of his tongue meeting yours with a warm nudge and he heard you mewl in pleasure. 
Spencer didn’t know what had come over him. Only moments ago he’d been too nervous to even look at you in fear of stumbled around a few syllables and calling them words. Yet here he was, his glasses slipping down his nose and pressing against the bridge of your own, your chest pressed so close to him he could feel your nipples pebbling against his TARDIS shirt, and it was like it was then he remembered you had no bottoms on except your panties. 
He hooked a hand underneath one of your legs, hiking it up to his waist and pushing even further up against you, the sudden movement making you gasp, your lower back hitting the dining table as his pubic bone ground against the ball of nerves that had been aching since you caught him shuffling around your kitchen in his damn Doctor Who pyjamas. 
Sliding his broad fingers up, your skin spread into gooseflesh and it was your turn to become putty under his touch as he bravely grabbed a handful of your arse, though his touch was still light and uncertain if he was crossing any boundaries. The change in position meant you felt yourself leaning back, your spine spreading out like a cat in warm sunlight, and he was quick to accommodate you, ever eager to please as Spencer was, moving away from the warmth of your mouth and kissing his way down to your pulse, the feeling of it making both of you hum on quietened tones in pleasure. 
“Why have we never done this before?” You asked breathlessly, your chest rising frantically as you gasped for air, a hushed moan bleeding into your airways. 
Spencer held you upright with one of his long arms, thought his mouth devoured a path over your collar bones, heading right for where your breasts lay in wait, and he didn’t even bother trying to remove your top as he kissed over your nipple with hungry, warm lips. 
“I dunno, probably because Ryan wouldn’t be too happy with me trying to fuck his sister while he’s eating dinner,” Spencer said without thinking, his tone sharp and witty as ever, like the noises you were making and the desperation in your touch seemed to rewire his thoughts into something overindulged. 
But you laughed, loud enough you slapped a hand over your mouth to stop yourself from waking up the whole house, because you had no idea how you’d explain to them why you and Spencer had ended up half sprawled on the dining table as he practically fixed himself onto every inch of you. And without warning he chuckled too, the vibration blowing over your skin that was already humming with excitement. 
“Do you think we could do this more often?” You asked, raising yourself up onto your elbows as his hands spread over your stomach, riding your top up just the smallest bit so he could kiss over your stomach, his pupils blown out into planets behind his glasses, his cheeks tinged raspberry red, his gaze drunken like he was in some sort of sugar rush only ready to stop when he’d gotten his fill, though at the rate he was going Spencer thought that day might not actually come. 
You were a drug, a nectar he’d never come close to, and he felt like every kiss to your skin only made that well in his stomach dig deeper and deeper, possibly never running dry as his every thought overflowed with drops of you, and your smell, and your taste, and your tongue. 
Missing your lips, he moved back up to your face, crashing his mouth back onto yours as your fingers raked through his hair, the sensation jolting his rod like appendage into you own pelvis, the two of you shivering with the feeling of it. 
“I think we can arrange that,” He murmured, and you grinned up at him devilishly as he fiddled with the cotton hem of your underwear nervously, his boldness wearing off as he saw that glint in your eyes that spelled trouble. But he understood that nervous and excitement felt so similar it was easy to mistake one for the other, perhaps even mesh both together at the same time, and the logical explanation for his clammy hands and racing heart seemed to soothe him the slightest bit. 
He loved sleepovers at your house.
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whimsyprinx · 2 years ago
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I took living across the road from cows for granted
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rubycruzin4abruzin · 6 months ago
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love, lies, and first times
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Summary: You were made to believe that your girlfriend, Hazel Callahan, lost her virginity to Stella-Rebecca some years ago. But when the truth is revealed during a game of truth or dare, your trust in her is shattered. What reason did she have to lie, and who did she actually lose her virginity to?
Pairing: loser!virgin!hazel x experienced!reader
Contains: mature language and content, lies, smut, fingering, oral, first time, kissing, drinking, tit play, both receiving, both giving, loser!hazel, sub!hazel, biblically!accurate!hazel, reader isn’t described as fem or masc
Word Count: 6k
A/N: soo one of my pet peeves when reading a hazel fic is when hazel keeps her rings on when fingering the reader and the reader likes it? Listen, I lost my virginity to someone who accidentally kept their rings on and it was painful. I had to ask them to take them off, highly unpleasant. I kinda make fun of that here, I hope some of y’all are ready to get called tf out ;)
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“Hazel, truth or dare?”
You squeezed your girlfriend’s hand as PJ sent her a wicked grin. The senior class of the Rockbridge Fight Club had just graduated high school, and the club leaders, PJ and Josie, had decided to celebrate by throwing a party—one last ‘hurrah’ for the founding members. Now, you all sat in a circle in Josie’s dim basement, sipping poorly mixed jungle juice from red solo cups while David Fincher movies played on a vintage television in the background. Truth or dare was, of course, PJ’s idea—perhaps in the hopes that someone would dare her to kiss Brittany.
Hazel returned your squeeze, the cool metal of her rings pressing against your warm skin. “Truth,” she answered.
PJ’s lips curled into such a shit-eating grin, you began to wonder if maybe she really did eat ‘literal shit.’ “Who did you lose your virginity to?”
You smiled, already knowing the answer. Early into dating, you and Hazel had exchanged ‘first-time’ stories: yours had been with some girl at summer camp when you were sixteen, and Hazel had confessed to experimenting with Stella-Rebecca freshman year. She stressed that it was nothing romantic, simply two friends getting their first times out of the way, and then swore you to secrecy for the sake of Stella-Rebecca’s privacy. However, Stella-Rebecca was sitting right there, and you doubted she would appreciate Hazel exposing their previous affair to the entire group.
Sure enough, Hazel’s eyes widened as a blush crept upon her cheeks. “Uhhh…”
Her hand seemed to stiffen within yours, tightening its hold as her rings indented your skin. You glanced across the circle at Stella-Rebecca, who stared at Hazel with an expectant (and somewhat oblivious) smile.
“You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to,” you murmured to Hazel in an attempt to calm her, but her grip only further constricted.
PJ rolled her eyes. “Come on, Hazel, I gave you an easy one. Everyone knows you probably lost it to her,” she gestured towards you.
It was your turn to blush. “Actually, uh…” you looked towards your girlfriend, who seemed to have lost her ability to speak. “We haven’t really, uh…”
PJ gasped as her eyes almost popped out of her head. “No way! You two haven’t jacked each other off yet?”
It was true, you and Hazel had yet to take your relationship to that level. Not like you didn’t try, you had been dating for months, but Hazel seemed to shy away every time you so much as slipped a hand up her shirt. You knew you shouldn’t pressure her, but you were beginning to feel a bit unattractive—after all, Hazel had lost her virginity to a model. How could you possibly compare to that?
Josie, ever the peacemaker, decided to chime in. “Ok PJ, let’s back off a little bit…”
Hazel seemed to relax a bit at Josie’s words. She eased her grip, and you heard her exhale a breath you didn’t know she was holding.
“I have to admit, I’m a little curious myself.” Stella-Rebecca interjected, taking you by surprise. “Hazel never talks about her sex life.”
Your face contorted in confusion. Hazel tensed up again, but your attention was focused on the girl sitting across from you. “What are you talking about?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know, sometimes we’ll be hanging out and the topic of sex will come up, and I’ll share some hookup story and she’ll just kind of… change the subject or something.”
There it was again, that familiar burn of envy like acid in your veins. “Maybe she’s jealous,” you suggested, words unintentionally dripping with venom.
Stella-Rebecca furrowed her brow, her expression innocent. “I doubt Hazel would be jealous of my sex life… unfortunately, it has more men than I think either of us would prefer.”
”Well, you were her first.”
“What?!” Stella-Rebecca exclaimed, her jaw dropping in shock. PJ cackled maniacally, clearly having the time of her life.
Hazel’s hand was clamped so tightly around yours that her knuckles were white, but you barely noticed as you stayed fixated on Stella-Rebecca. “I mean… yeah… weren’t you?”
Stella-Rebecca furiously shook her head. “Hazel and I have known each other our whole lives, but never like that. Besides, I didn’t come out as a lesbian until after you two started dating. Why did you think it was me?”
You felt like a complete moron. “I don’t know…” you muttered, glaring at your girlfriend. She refused to meet your gaze, staring down at her lap while shades of crimson painted her features. Her hand was still clasped around yours, but you forcibly removed it, too hurt to want to be touched.
“Ok, so, Hazel’s a prude. Glad we got that out of the way.” PJ sneered.
Josie reached over and smacked her arm. “So are you, PJ. Hypocrite.”
“I am not a prude, I’m a virgin.” PJ corrected. “There’s a difference.”
The game continued once the tension died down. No one dared PJ to kiss Brittany, so when it was her turn again, she took it upon herself to dare Brittany to kiss her, which the poor girl blatantly refused. After that, PJ pretty much lost interest and the game dissipated, with everyone breaking the circle to go off and do their own things. Josie and Isabel were tucked away in a corner, failing to be discreet during a heated makeout session. PJ had joined Brittany on the couch, while Brittany sipped her drink and scrolled through her phone, trying to ignore Pj’s passes. The rest of the girls, including Hazel, huddled in front of the small television, chatting through the David Fincher movies. You, however, stayed back in an attempt to avoid your girlfriend.
“How could she lie to me like that?” You asked Brittany, plopping down on the couch between her and PJ. Rolling her eyes, PJ got up and left the basement, retreating upstairs for whatever reason.
Brittany seemed grateful for your company (and relieved at PJ’s disappearance). “I don’t know, babe,” she said, slinging her arm around you and pulling you close. “I’m sure she had a good reason.”
You groaned pathetically, resting your head on her shoulder. “I can’t think of any.”
Brittany leaned down and kissed the top of your head, sympathetic to your feelings. You glanced over to the television area and saw Hazel staring back at you, watching your interaction with Brittany. She looked sad, not jealous, just sad. Those big blue eyes that would look at you with so much love were now pained, filled with remorse. She sort of resembled a kicked puppy, and every instinct in your body told you to run over and hold her, comfort her, before you remembered why you were angry in the first place.
Before you could force yourself to break your shared gaze, PJ suddenly came bumbling down the stairs again, holding an empty beer bottle. “Look what I found in the kitchen trash!” She exclaimed, commanding the room’s attention.
Josie shook her head in disbelief. “Why were you in my trash?”
“Doesn’t matter! Now we can play ‘seven minutes in heaven!’” PJ declared, moving to the middle of the room and gesturing for everyone to get the circle back together.
Brittany groaned, all too aware that this was just another one of PJ’s stunts to try and get with her. It was your turn to be sympathetic.
“Don’t worry,” you whispered to her. “If the bottle starts to land on you during PJ’s turn, I’ll intercept it.”
Brittany mouthed a ‘thank you’ before taking your hand and walking with you to join the circle. This time, you sat directly across from Hazel, as far away from her as possible. You could feel her sad puppy-dog eyes boring into you, but you refused to meet her gaze.
“Alright,” PJ asserted, rubbing her hands together. “If there’s no volunteers to go first…”
“I think our host should spin first.” Isabel interrupted, looking towards Josie with what could only be described as ‘fuck-me’ eyes.
Josie giggled as she took the bottle from a reluctant PJ and spun it in the center. Everyone watched with anticipation as the bottle slowed, almost stopping in front of Annie before Isabel grabbed it and pointed it towards herself.
“Wow, what a coincidence!” Isabel exclaimed, much to Josie’s amusement.
The two held hands and disappeared into the small coat closet under the basement stairs. PJ rolled her eyes. “It’s no fun if you pick your partners!” She yelled after them.
One thing about 'seven minutes in heaven’ that no one talks about is what the rest of the group does during the seven minutes. Do you talk? Keep playing? Listen in? You certainly didn’t know, and apparently neither did anyone else—with the exception of PJ, who set her phone timer before sitting with her ear pressed to the door.
“So… what’s everyone’s summer plans?” Stella-Rebecca asked in an attempt to fill the silence.
Annie shrugged in response. “Mostly working as a counselor for Vacation Bible School and protesting outside Planned Parenthood. Same old, same old.”
“Would you guys shut up over there?” PJ hissed from across the room. “I’m trying to listen to them fuck!”
Eventually, seven agonizing minutes finished with the screech of PJ’s timer. “Times up, lovebirds!” She shouted, throwing open the door.
The ‘lovebirds’ stumbled out of the closet in a fit of giggles. Both of their clothes were wrinkled, hair disheveled, and Isabel’s lipstick was smeared all over Josie’s mouth. The couple was immediately met with cheers and jeers from the rest of the party as they made their way back to the circle.
“Wow, thanks for warming up the closet for us you two,” PJ snickered. “Now, as for who’s next…”
“Hazel, why don’t you spin?” Isabel suggested, seizing the bottle before PJ could and passing it to Hazel.
“Oh, come on!” PJ complained, having been cockblocked yet again.
The group all shared a chuckle at PJ’s dismay, especially Brittany who was laughing so hard tears began to form. PJ could do nothing but pout until the laughter died down and Hazel reached into the center, spinning the bottle.
Round and round the bottle spun, the group watching with bated breath. The hollow glass rotated, nozzle slowing, slowing until it finally stopped on no other than… you. All previously dissipated tension immediately resurfaced as the room seemed to still, everyone recalling the incident from earlier.
“Yeah, you guys! Go in there and give us absolutely nothing!” PJ sneered, earning another smack on the arm from Josie.
You stared at the bottle, nozzle pointing directly at you, no question about it. Through your peripheral vision, you could see Hazel nervously fidgeting with her rings, unsure of how to proceed.
“Maybe we could… play something else?” Brittany suggested gently.
PJ clapped her hands together. “Nope! Rules are rules. Get in there, you two.” She seized your hands and dragged you to the closet, throwing both of you in before slamming the door.
Hazel kept her gaze fixated on her fidgeting hands while you pretended to be very interested in a small tear on one of the hanging coats. After what felt like an eternity, you checked your watch. Only twelve seconds had passed. You let out a frustrated sigh. “Well, one of us has to say something.”
She glanced towards the door. “How much do you wanna bet PJ is listening in on us?”
You shot her a glare, not finding her joke funny.
“I’m sorry…” Hazel muttered, lowering her head again.
At that moment, all of the hurt, anger, and confusion you had kept bottled up to save face rose to the surface. “Why would you lie to me?” You demanded, using her own line against her.
Her face crumpled upon hearing the true betrayal behind your question. “I didn’t… I didn’t mean to…”
“Hazel, you lied about losing your virginity to Stella-Rebecca. That’s such an odd thing to lie about, it doesn’t make any sense…”
“Ok,” Hazel cut you off. “I didn’t have sex with Stella-Rebecca...”
“No shit,” you spat. “So what, you like, want to?”
“No!” Hazel insisted. “Stella and I are friends. I’ve never thought about her that way.”
“Then why have you had me believing you slept with her?” You hissed, a weak attempt to keep your voice down.
She was at it again, fiddling with those goddamned rings. “I don’t know, I just…” she swallowed, hesitating. “You told me about your first time… at summer camp… and you asked me about mine. We had just started dating. I didn’t want you to think I was inexperienced.”
“Hazel,” you sighed. “You are inexperienced.”
“I mean, like, I didn’t want you to see me as an immature little baby who didn’t know what she was doing, so I panicked and made something up. I shouldn’t have, I’m so sorry. I really didn’t mean to hurt you, I swear.”
The edges of your anger blurred as you realized fear had driven your girlfriend to a desperate lie. Poor Hazel, she looked shrunken, almost. She had drawn into herself, vulnerability exposed like a house of cards in the wind. You reached out and gently lifted her chin, forcing her to look up at you and taking her by surprise.
“Hazel,” you cooed. “It’s ok that you’ve never had sex before, I don’t care.”
“Really?” She asked.
You nodded. “Of course I don’t care. I just thought you’d been pushing me away because you didn’t find me that attractive, but…”
“What?!” Hazel’s exclamation took you aback, making you drop your hand. “That’s not it at all! Shit, I was just worried I’d mess up somehow, I’ve never been more attracted to anyone in my entire life! I think you’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen. No, really! Every time I look at you, I’m like ‘holy fuck, how did I get so lucky…’”
You cut her off by crashing your lips against hers. Her body initially tensed at the sudden contact, but soon melted into yours as it had done so many times before. Your hands found the nape of her neck as you drew her closer, pressing her up against you as much as possible. Lip-locks with Hazel were familiar to you, but never had one been so passionate, so rough and yet reassuring at the same time.
When you finally pulled away, both of you were gasping to catch your breath, realizing you had inadvertently chosen each other over oxygen. You gazed upon Hazel, studying her flushed cheeks, her lustrous lips, and the way her shirt collar sat askew atop her shoulders. With the way she stared back, you could tell you appeared just as rumpled.
“Well that’s good to know,” you giggled, reaching out to fix her collar. “Listen, Hazel, you’re a virgin. So what? I don’t care who you have or haven’t been with before. If you’re not ready yet, that’s perfectly fine, really. I would never pressure you into anything.”
Back at it again with those fucking rings. What the hell could you have possibly said this time?
“That’s the thing…” she began, her gaze fixated to the floor again. “I think I… I think…”
“Hazel…” you whispered her name, placing two fingers on her arm and making her shiver.
“I… I think I am ready. I’ve been ready. For a little while now.”
Your eyes widened at her confession. “Seriously?”
She nodded. “Yeah. I want you… uh, I mean… I want to do it… with you. I just… I don’t… I don’t know how to…” each sputter was paired with imperceptible hand gestures, desperate to communicate something she didn’t have the words to say.
“To… initiate it?” You asked.
“Yes! That!” She sighed, thankful you knew her well enough to understand her babbles. “I mean, should it be planned? Spontaneous? Do I just walk up to you and say ‘hey I wanna have sex?’ Where do I do it? How? Can I just blurt it out of nowhere or does something have to be happening first? If so, then what?”
“Hazel…” she was rambling again. You placed your hands on both sides of her head, smoothing her hair. “There’s no right way to initiate it, trust me. You can just do whatever you’re most comfortable with.”
She met your gaze again, head still caught between your palms. There was something different behind her eyes, though, something besides remorse or even vulnerability. Her brilliant blue’s seemed darker somehow, almost… hungry. You finally caught on when she snuck a glance at your lips, and closed the distance between you.
This kiss was different from the last: still passionate, but gentler, lighter, as if you were exploring for the first time. Her hands found your waist, loosely gripping the fabric of your top. You reciprocated, running your thumb over the hem of her tank top and accidentally brushing over a patch of bare skin. She flinched at the unfamiliarity, and you pulled away.
“Are you ok?” You whispered, forehead pressed against hers. She nodded, half-lidded eyes not leaving your lips. “Can I…?” Your fingers hesitated just under her tank top, barely grazing the skin of her stomach. She didn’t respond. She didn’t need to. For the first time in her life, she let her body do the talking as she pressed into you, capturing you in another kiss.
Slowly, surely, your fingers inched up the underside of her tank top. You took the time to trace little shapes into her skin, moving from her waist, to her stomach, to the underside of her rib cage. Her breath hitched with each new touch; Hazel had always been ticklish, but the way your fingertips danced along her torso made her shiver rather than squirm. As her comfortability levels grew, your hand traveled up, further, further…
“Holy shit, they were really gonna fuck!”
PJ’s grating voice startled you apart like an unwelcome infomercial in the dead of night. You glared at your intruder standing in the wide-open doorway, a wicked smirk plastered on her face. “Lose track of time?”
Hazel tugged at your wrists, and it wasn’t until that moment when you realized your hands were still under her tank top (much to PJ’s entertainment). With a mumbled apology, you detached yourself and helped her smooth out the fabric bunched around her ribs. Both of your faces were burning with a mixture of embarrassment and fluster.
“You could’ve knocked, you know…” Hazel muttered, watching the floor as she left the closet.
“I could’ve,” PJ admitted. “But where’s the fun in that?”
The rest of the party watched with amusement as you and Hazel exited the closet. Your flushed features and darting glances did not go unnoticed, prompting a series of snorts and stifled laughter. Forget David Fincher, you two were your own movie.
“So, I assume it’s safe to say you’ve made up?” Josie asked cheekily, squeezing Isabel’s hand, who bit the inside of her mouth to keep from laughing.
“We sure did,” you said with a sheepish grin.
Brittany couldn’t help but snicker. “Guess that explains your rosy cheeks.”
You exchanged looks with Hazel as an idea suddenly popped into your head. “Actually, Hazel’s cheeks are warm because she doesn’t feel too good.”
“I don’t?” Hazel asked.
“You don’t,” you repeated, shooting her a look. “In fact, oh my, I do feel warm! We must be coming down with something.”
“Wait, but I don’t feel…” Hazel seemed confused until she met your gaze and understood your plan. She raised her hand to her forehead, making a big show of collapsing into the basement wall. “Oh, woe is me! It is true! I seem to have fallen ill! Cough, cough, wheeze!”
You had to fight the corners of your mouth to keep from curling. Jesus, this girl couldn’t act for shit.
“Yes… anyway we need to leave. Right now. We don’t want to get any of you sick.”
“Oh, I’m sure that’s the reason,” Josie sent you a knowing smirk.
You grabbed Hazel’s hand and ran with her up the stairs and out of the basement, the partygoers calling after you with whoops, hollers, and exaggerated kissing sounds. As the basement door creaked shut behind you, the last thing you heard was PJ’s whiny complaint. “No fair! Hazel gets pussy before I do?”
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The two of you rushed hand-in-hand from Josie’s front door and piled into Hazel’s car, you in the passenger seat as usual.
She turned to you, keeping her free hand on the wheel. “Are your parents home?”
“They never are.”
Hazel had to release your hand to put her car in reverse, pulling out of the driveway like a madwoman. You anticipated her fingers intertwining with yours again, but instead, she reached over and rested her hand on your upper thigh. Her thumb gently brushed across the denim of your jeans, sending flutters through your stomach. Hazel was getting bold.
The drive back to your house was nothing but perilous. Hazel had always been a reckless driver, but the sharp turns and disregarded stop signs were wild even for her. Arriving at your house, she parked haphazardly, jumping out before rushing to throw open your door.
“Well that was fast,” you teased as Hazel helped you out of the car. “Looking forward to something?”
Words seemed to fail her as she silently took your face in her hands, kissing you with the desperation of a castaway grasping for a lifeline. She had you pressed into the passenger door, hips flush against yours. Your palms rested on her collarbone, feeling her rapid heartbeat.
You gently pushed her away, almost swearing you heard the faintest whimper leave her lips. “Why don’t we take this inside?” You suggested, to which Hazel could only nod.
The two of you stumbled into your house, barely taking the time to break away from each other to see where you were going. When you eventually made it to your bedroom, you slammed the door behind you and Hazel thrust you against the white wood. You relaxed into her, expecting more kisses, but looked up to find her features filled with apprehension.
“Hazel…” you whispered, moving your hands to her shoulders. “Is everything ok?”
“Y-yeah…” she stuttered, her gaze dropping slightly. She had seized you by the hips, fingers hooked in your belt loops, hands beginning to tremble.
You gently lifted her jaw. “Are you sure you’re ready for this? It’s ok if you changed your mind…”
“No! No, please. I need you so bad you have no idea…” she cut you off, her confession making you blush. “I just… I don’t… I mean… I’ve watched some porn and read fanfiction but…”
“Hazel, sex isn’t anything like porn or fanfiction.”
“Oh fuck, it isn’t?” She asked in disbelief, her wide eyes making you chuckle.
“Why don’t you let me lead, then?” You suggested, calming her with a tender kiss on her jawline. “Go lay down for me, yeah?”
Hazel did as she was told and moved to lie down on your pale-blue bedspread, a favorite of yours because you thought it matched her eyes. You stayed behind, stripping down to a bra and panties as Hazel watched with unblinking eyes.
“Relax, my love,” you purred, climbing onto the bed and hovering over her. You shifted, hips brushing against hers momentarily, causing Hazel’s eyelids to flutter and a sigh to leave her lips. A smirk crossed your face. “Sensitive, are we?”
Hazel could barely speak through her pathetic little whines. “P-please…”
You planted a sweet kiss on her lips before trailing down to her neck, exploring her soft skin, discovering unknown sensitive spots: her earlobe, the nape of her jaw, along her collarbone. Your fingers flitted underneath the hem of her tank top, creeping up, up, until you felt the cool nylon of her sports bra against your palm. Hazel shuddered at the newfound sensation, and you pulled back.
“Still good?”
“Good,” she breathed. “Yes, good.”
You hooked your finger under the neck of her tank top, coaxing her to sit up slightly. Pinching her shirt collar, you slid it off her shoulders before lifting the bottom of her tank, stopping with it bunched under her armpits. She finished the job for you, and you tossed the shirts aside, not caring where they landed.
Now she was left in a sports bra the color of fog, her nipples erect and poking through the fabric. You slipped two fingers under her band, looking to her for approval. She nodded, letting you peel it off until her tits sprang free.
“Holy shit, Haze,” you muttered, practically drooling at the sight of her naked breasts. Underneath the compressive sports bras, hidden beneath layers of baggy clothing, Hazel had perfect tits: round, firm, with little pink buds sitting like cherries on top of two scoops of vanilla ice cream. “How could you keep these from me?”
Hazel let out a laugh that sounded more like a breath, not entirely sure how to respond. Leaning down, you took one of the swollen buds in your mouth, swirling your tongue around it while palming her other breast. Hazel threw her head back against the pillow, letting out cries of pleasure while her hands entangled themselves in your hair. You took your time, caressing, suckling, exploring every inch of her bare chest, memorizing each unique detail: a freckle on her décolletage, a vaguely mushroom-shaped birthmark hidden beneath her left breast.
She was, for lack of a better word, perfect. You had been so distracted, so deeply buried in her cleavage, that you hadn’t noticed time slipping away until you felt her pressing down on your head. Your name flew from her mouth in a desperate gasp. “I can’t… p-please… keep going…”
“So impatient,” you teased, mouth releasing her nipple with a pop. Hazel only whined in response, bucking against your stomach, hips urgently searching for some kind of release. You smirked, leaving her breasts and peppering kisses down her stomach, stopping when you reached the waistband of her gym shorts.
“Off?” You asked, though it was merely a formality at this point; you already knew the answer. She made a noise of approval, a mix between a groan and a squeak, and shifted her hips to allow you to slip them off her legs.
Now, there stood nothing between you two but the thin cotton of her slate-colored boxers. She was writhing, silently begging you to rip them off and have at her, but you couldn’t help but stop and admire the growing spot of wetness that had accumulated through the fabric. Her hips sputtered, shook, pairing with her pitiful whimpers to plead for attention. You, however, had other plans.
“What’s your rush, Haze? We’ve got all night, don’t we?” You were teasing her now, a wicked grin appearing as your fingertips danced along the elastic band of her boxers.
Her raised pelvis came crashing down onto the bedspread as she cried out in defeat. “Fuck… please… just take them off…”
You frowned, mocking her, using your thumb to gently encircle her clothed cunt. Her head sank further into the pillow, broken moans falling out of her mouth like beads from a shattered necklace.
“Jesus fucking Christ, Hazel. Do you always get this wet?” You asked in disbelief. Her boxers felt like a saturated sponge.
“I don’t know,” she sighed, fighting to keep her speech intelligible. “I don’t think so, maybe. I… I need you… really bad…”
“Need me?” You replied cheekily, wrapping your fingers around the elastic and slipping her boxers off in one quick motion.
Your girlfriend's naked body was now fully on display before you. You had to take a moment, admiring details of the areas she had never let you see before: a small mole on her outer thigh, or the way her hip bones protruded to form little ridges across her pelvis. Her chest heaved, lips parted ever so slightly as she awaited your next move.
“Hazel?”
“Y-yeah?”
“Are you ready?”
She took in a breath, blowing it out big. “More than anything.”
You positioned your head between her legs, leaving feather-light kisses up and down her inner thighs. Her head tossed from side-to-side, body struggling to keep still with your mouth so close to where she needed you. Testing the waters, you ghosted a kiss over her clit, watching as she shuddered upon contact.
God she was sensitive.
Finally taking mercy on her, you licked a long, broad stripe up the length of her cunt, tongue lingering on her clit perhaps a bit longer than necessary. The cries that erupted from her throat were enough to send shocks through your own body. You moved to straddle her leg, grinding against it while you ate her out—a shift not going unnoticed by Hazel, only spurring her forward.
“Ohmygod… Ohmygod fuck…” your name tumbled from her lips amidst her breathless moans. She squirmed under your touch—every lick, each roll against her shin setting her body ablaze. A smirk tugged at your lips as your mouth created a vortex around her clit, causing her eyes to roll back like a slot machine landing on the jackpot.
You didn’t get to do this for very long before her plush thighs enveloped your head. “W-what…? It feels… I think, I think I’m…”
“Breathe, baby girl,” you cooed, never taking your mouth off of her. “Just relax, cum for me. Fuck you’re doing so well…”
Her hands flew back to your scalp, legs shaking, guttural cries erupting from her throat as her orgasm consumed her. Fuck she sounded pretty. Her thighs kept you right where she needed you, only loosening once her breathing evened and she slowly came back to reality.
You lifted your head once her legs collapsed onto your bedspread, her bones feeling like jello. “Was that alright, Haze?” You asked, crawling back up to lay next to her.
“Wow,” she sighed, pupils dilated into big black buttons. “Just wow.” She laid there a moment, silently recovering, wearing a dazed, blissful expression. But then her face shifted into something sour, almost uneasy. “I don’t, I mean… I don’t know how…”
“It’s fine,” you ensured.
“It’s not,” she argued. “I mean, you were… and on my leg…”
“Hey, Hazel,” you brushed her hair back, letting your fingers fall. “We don’t have to do anything else. Tonight was about you.”
“No, no. Please, I wanna fuck you so bad, I’ve been daydreaming about it for so long.”
You couldn’t have blushed harder if you tried.
“I just… I haven’t… like you did with that girl from summer camp. What if I try and it isn’t anything like that?”
“Hazel…” you reached for her face, kissing her reassuringly. “It won’t be anything like it was with her.”
Her face fell. “It won’t?”
“Of course not,” you replied. “What I did with her, it was just sex. Nothing like this, this is completely different.”
“Why?”
You had to gather up the courage to say your next words. “Hazel… I’m in love with you.”
She finally faced you with wide eyes. “You’ve never said that before.”
“I know,” you said. “I’m saying it now.”
That blissful expression from earlier returned to her pretty face. “I love you too.”
You giggled, and she pulled you into another kiss. Her weight shifted until you were on your back, her body covering yours, legs on either side of your hips. She tried to emulate you, peppering kisses down your neck and chest until she reached the satin cusp of your bra.
“How do… uh… I only wear sports bras…”
You sat up, guiding her hands around to your back and helping her unhook your clasp. She slid it off your shoulders and tossed it aside without care, her attention fixated purely on the newly-exposed flesh in front of her. “Holy fuck,” she exclaimed on a sigh.
Another smirk crept across your face. “What? If I didn’t know any better, I’d think these were the first you’d ever seen!”
She shot you an unamused look before diving in, suckling at one of your breasts and pawing at the other. Her eyes stayed unblinking, watching you as your head relaxed further into the pillow and soft sounds spilled from your lips.
“Am I doing ok?” She asked in a whisper.
“More than,” your voice came out soft and sweet, causing the tips of your lover’s ears to tint pink.
Hazel trailed downward, her soft lips leaving kisses all the way down to your stomach, her tousled hair tickling your skin. She paused at your cotton panties, her thumb passing over the fabric with uncertainty.
“Need help taking those off too?” You quipped.
“Definitely not,” she replied, seizing the waistband and sliding them off your legs.
Hazel gazed upon your naked body as if she were an artist, and you her masterpiece. Her hands hesitated before resting on your ribs, fingernails gently scratching down the length of your sides. She bent down, planting kisses on your hip bones, reveling in your quiet whimpers.
“Hazel…” you purred, and she got the message. Her hand slipped between your legs, fingertips tracing your entrance before sliding inside.
“Ouch,” you hissed, sitting up in pain.
Startled, Hazel pulled her hand back. “W-what? What happened? Shit, did I hurt you?”
“Kinda…” you paused, trying to pinpoint the discomfort. It almost felt like she had unraveled a paperclip and impaled your core—an unpleasant sensation you couldn’t explain until you saw…
“Hazel,” you exclaimed with a laugh. “You kept your rings on!”
“Yeah…” she muttered, cradling the hand that burned you. “I thought you liked my rings.”
“I love your rings,” you assured. “Just not inside me.”
“But the characters in the fanfictions I’ve read keep their rings on, and the feedback is always positive!”
There was nothing you could do to stop yourself from giggling at her protest. “Hazel, those fanfictions are written by people who probably haven’t experienced the real thing. Trust me, rings up there? Uncomfortable at best.”
Hazel nodded, mumbling a sheepish apology and removing her rings before slipping two fingers back in. “Better?”
“Much.”
With her confidence temporarily shaken, Hazel began to move against you, slowly, steadily, studying your facial expressions. Each gasp, every subtle twitch helped her gauge what you wanted, what you needed from her. She may have gone in blind, but she was a gifted learner, and you her favorite subject.
Soon after Hazel regained her certainty, you started to feel that familiar ache within your core. “Hazel… doing so good… my pretty girl… I’m so…”
She perked up, still keeping her hands where you seemed to want them. “Really? You mean it? Should I do anything different?”
You were about to shake your head, but stopped when you got an idea. “Do this with your fingers,” you demonstrated by curling your own.
She followed suit, reveling in your little mewls when she scratched against your g-spot.
But you weren’t finished yet. “Fuck… Hazel… almost… now just move your palm…”
You didn’t even get to finish your sentence. Hazel curved her palm, stimulating your clit, and your orgasm crashed over you like a flash flood breaking through a dam. Your back arched, legs shaking, chest heaving as you rode out your climax. Hazel wouldn’t, couldn’t look away; a moment ago she had been naive, inexperienced, but now the prettiest girl she’d ever seen was creaming all over her fingers, and it was all her own doing.
Her movements halted at what she hoped was the right moment. She withdrew her fingers, curiosity overtaking her as she popped them into her mouth and moaned at the taste, instantly regretting not going down on you. Her mind swirled, flashbacks of what just happened mixing with the oblivion of what to do next.
“Hazel,” you said finally. “Come lay down.”
She crawled back up to you, laying her head on the pillow. “Did I do ok?”
You giggled. “You did perfect.”
A grin spread across her face, reaching from ear-to-ear. Her eyelids were already drooping. “I’m so tired.”
“Me too,” you rolled over, wrapping your arm around her waist and nuzzling into her hair. “Go to sleep, my love. You’ve had a big night.”
She snuggled up closer to you, muttering a barely-perceptible ‘I love you’ before drifting off to sleep.
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Tag List: @chloepricesgirl @k1ssm3m0re @joanvisitsrome @mxlti-fand0m-imaginess @09carriages @hazelvrr @ummlover @lovinglynny @lilyannez @at1nyzen @lovepity @camilleee222 @reiisstuff @sofi4v13 @pensoterios @everybodyhatesari @sapphicarribean @sam-cooperrr @gay4lanadelrey666 @nickeverdeen
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elliesspacewalker · 8 months ago
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I have been thinking about an all girls boarding school scenario with ellie where her and reader are roommates and reader is just like peak fertile period and she needs to get off but her roommate, ellie, is literally on the other side of the room
I'm literally fucking drooling about the thought of this, of course!! I AIN'T WEIRD SO READER ANS ELLIE GOT SEET BACK A YEAR SO THEY ARE BOTH 19!
CW: 18+ (mdni), transgender Ellie, breeding kink, self masturbation (r), slight degradation, slightly loser!ellie near the end, lmk if I missed anything
-
You had moved to an all girl's boarding school because your parents claimed you were "straying away from god" and that this "would help you feel better" your parents were religious but obviously you weren't- always thinking the most sinful things about your hot roomie Ellie fucking Williams
"mhm, fuck-" you whimpered out as you worked wonders on your clit while Ellie was out, praying she wouldn't come home anytime soon- so unbelievably wet due to your period being due in a few days, you needed to make a fucking baby.
Your body jerked as you felt yourself start to come undone, your pussy drooling, clit twitching- but who got you like this? That was your question, it wasn't the hot cheerleaders you hung out with. It wasn't your best friend Dina, it was Ellie—a girl so innocent and so fucking shy.
"s-shit, oh fuck fuck fuck fuck Ellie- fuck" you whimpered out, but immediately came to a stop as you heard the door of the dorm opening- quickly pulling your hand out of your soaked panties and acting like you weren't just whimpering her name like a fucking slut.
Fuck if only she came back 5 minutes later..
"sup" she says, pulling her jacket off- you squeezed your legs together as you looked at the slight bulge in her baggy jeans.... Of course, you're fucking ovulating-
You were so fucking horny and you needed this gone.
"you good?" She chuckles, looking at you, she notices you slightly moving your legs together for some friction- she tilts her head and bites her lip "you horny?"
"mhm" you nod innocently, fuck.
"come here" she says, sitting down and patting her leg indicating for you to sit on her lap- you get up from your bed completely defeated and straddle her hips, you look at her eyes and she smirks.
"what were you doing?" She pushes her bulge into your clothed pussy and a whine escapes your lips "don't lie" she adds on.
She brings her hand to your cheek and pushes it slightly so she can kiss your neck, your eyes roll back and she chuckles, sending vibrations all down your neck and spine.
"i was- touching myself" you grind down into her dick, to get some sort of friction to soothe the ache between your legs.
"if you're okay with it, lay on the bed?" You agree and lay on the bed so quickly, she moves on top of you and kisses all up your neck and grinds herself into your aching pussy, you let out a whimper and Ellie chuckles again...
"what were you thinking about? Where you worried I'd come home and see you touching yourself like a slut?" Her voice is low, but so fucking hot.
"I was thinking about you- fuck- I-" you stutter, "oh, poor babies stuttering, show me how you were touching yourself baby" she teases, your pussy clenches and you hide your face away in the pillow "come on baby, I know you can" she pulls a strain of hair behind your ear and turns your face to look her in the eyes- you whimper and nod, she moves off you and takes off her jeans exposing her hard dick under her boxers.
You move your small hand under your panties, and move one to expose your boob- you bite your lip and hold back a moan as you touch your clit, fuck she was aching for Ellie.
You whimper as you tease your clit, making her twitch.
"good fucking girl" Ellie coos, watching you masturbate right next to her...
"Ellie" you whimper, looking up at her with doe eyes "mhm?" She replies, "need you in me" she groans loudly.
"you want me to fuck you?" She questions, you nod "yes, please"
"fuck baby- I don't have a condom" she says, and you whine, pulling your hand out of your panties and touching her dick- it was so fucking hard, you stroke up it slowly and she groans.
"need you to get me pregnant, please Ellie, please" you beg her, she finally caves in.
-
"oh! Fuck! Ellie, fuck, harder please" you moan as Ellie fucks you hard from behind, the pace unbearable, she slows down her thrusts and grabs your hair pushing you down into the pillow as she groans loudly at the feeling of your pussy clenching down on her.
"this what you needed? Hm, fuck, needed me to fuck your silly and fuck a baby into you like the slut you are?" You moan loudly "yeah, you're a fucking slut... Gonna fuck the shit out of you- fuck" she groans as she grabs your hips to guide you backwards onto her dick.
She toys with your clit, making you moan louder, chanting her name like a whore. You couldn't stop fucking moaning, you felt so fucking close. You were too close, Ellie knew this and slowed down the pace so you could cum on her dick.
"gonna get you fucking pregnant" she moans, you feel yourself about to unravel
"Ellie! Ellie please m'gonna cum!" You moan out, "oh fuck yes yes cum on my dick" she stays the same pace.
Fuck, who knew she knew how to pleasure you so good, and make you feel so fucking good?
"oh fuck" you moan out, as you clench around her dick- finally cumming all over her, she whimpers loudly as she cums in you and continues to fuck you through your high and her own...
"you're a slut" she teases, smacking your ass and making you yelp.... "Gonna suck me clean at least?"
You turn around to see her innocent looking face, her dick still so hard- veins that run up to the tip of her dick, you nod and she lays down in bed and you rest your head between her thighs.
Sucking the tip so delicately, she holds your hair into a makeshift pony tail.
She moans loudly as you take her whole length "just like that, fuckkkkkk-"
"fuck, I'm gonna cum" she groans, holding your hair still and out of your face as you suck harder-
She chants your name as she cums in your mouth, she came so hard you're sure everyone at the school could hear her...
"you're such a good girl - fuck, thought you were innocent but yet here you are you fucking whore"
You giggle and hide away in her neck as she massages your arm .
"guess there's no need for your bed anymore huh?"
-
A/n: thank you all for the requests!! I am slowly making my way through them but there are so many! Keep sending them my way!!
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dollgxtz · 28 days ago
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My first and only statement on all the accusations
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Hello, I’m sure most of you are aware of the accusations about me and some of the stories I posted on my account. This post is not only an apology post, but an accountability post that details everything that happened from beginning to end. Everything will be here, so I will not be making more posts about this unless it’s to direct to this one.
Adding a tw now for suicide baiting, death threats and mentions of razors. So sorry but it must be included.
First I just wanted to say, no I wasn’t avoiding any of this. When this all started I was still in the middle of finals week, and I don’t live on tumblr 24/7. I had to focus on my finals to ensure I can get my degree and graduate. That was my number one priority. If anyone was blocked or comments were restricted during that time, it was my mostly my irl friend ensuring I wasn’t consumed by tumblr and could focus on my finals. I was already under a lot of stress and she offered to take over until I was finished with finals.
I was also getting death threats (people telling me to skin myself I alive and to jump). So she was ensuring that when I returned to my own blog, I would not see such triggering content. I have a history with suicide attempts and this was necessary for my mental health. The appropriate people were unblocked and remain unblocked to this day.
I always intended to make a statement, I just prioritized my real life first. It also took time to craft the post you are seeing now. I wanted it to be authentic, no misinformation, and well written.
So, as far as plagiarism goes, yes I did plagiarize specifically 3 of zombiekillerbiceps stories. I can’t actually remember the names of them and the author has removed their account from the site. But on my end specifically “Getting Closer”, “Edge of Control” and “Thrills” were not my own writing. Before they deleted their account I had already reached out via dm and apologized. We came to an understanding. I do not know why they deleted their account but they essentially said in DMs they accepted my apology and wanted to put this behind us but they were very hurt that I had copied them.
Edit: I found the post she made calling me out and will attach it.
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As far as His Watchful Eye goes, the only plagiarism that took place was specifically the first chapter of it and only the first chapter. The first chapter of Something Permanent and His Watchful Eye are very similar. The remaining 13 chapters are my own writing and ideas. I have already reached out to @explorevenus and apologized. She has responded and made her own statement regarding it if you want to go and read it.
The only reason it was in anon is because this account (dollgxtz) is my side blog. I couldn’t figure out how to send a non anonymous message without exposing my main blog, so anon was the best thing. I didn’t want people sending death threats too that one too. I should’ve put my username in the anon, but it was already very late for me and I hadn’t slept in about 26 hours. I just wasn’t thinking very clearly and for that Venus I am also very sorry.
@manika-whims (the person that first wrote about all this) will remain blocked and some of her followers because I do suspect it was that group of people telling me to die. Manika wrote a very long post as she was upset that I “mischaracterized” Xavier in His Watchful Eye, called me a bitch and a loser because of a fictional man in a fictional story, and I will not entertain such immaturity. Full stop.
One of the anons that sent the suicide bait also called me a bitch and a waste of space. It was just too similar.
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I also got this one. It’s too graphic to show the entirety of it.
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I apologize for the plagiarism. But I will never apologize for writing characters the way I do or for writing dark content. It’s just not that serious. After she posted that I started getting these death threats and more.
You had every right to call me out for plagiarism Manika, but I stand my decision to keep you blocked. It had nothing to do with plagiarism accusations or me hiding from them, but I do believe you egged on your audience to come attack me over a fictional story and for that reason you will never be unblocked. I’ve attached screenshots below of the entire exchange. This is not to deflect from my own actions. This is simply to explain why she is blocked. She will say it’s because I was trying to hide from this but that is not true. I am just very sure the death threats came from her or her audience. This isn’t to say that she absolutely did but just in case, for my own mental health and safety I had to have them blocked.
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Now that that’s discussed, I would like to address my readers and any future readers of mine. The plagiarized stories “Getting Closer” “Thrills” and “Edge of Control”. have been deleted and will remain deleted. Those of you asking for copies, please do not. They are not my writing nor my own works. Any remaining single work story on my blog is my own work and 100 percent my own ideas. My masterlist has been updated to reflect this as well.
When I first made my blog and posted those stories, I was a very insecure writer. I did not think I was truly capable of writing or making a good story. I did those things out of insecurity and not feeling good enough. But as time went on, I began to create my own stories and realize that I can write if I put my mind to it. These are not excuses, only explanations. Nothing excuses my behavior.
If you want to defend me, that is your own choice. I ask that you do not though in terms of plagiarism because I ultimately did plagiarize and that is 100 percent wrong of me to do. But in terms of AI usage accusations, these are not true. I have never and never will use AI to write.
I have spent countless hours writing chapters for His Watchful Eye, pulled all nighters, and even lost sleep making this story. I have timestamps in google docs that show me editing and writing my own story. I didn’t even know AI had advanced to the point that you can write fully blown novels. But make no mistake, Ai checkers are not reliable. I had an incident in my first year of college where a paper I wrote got flagged for 77 percent ai generated content. That paper was written 100 percent by me over countless hours and still got flagged. It was a very scary time in my life and for that reason alone I will never use AI.
If you want to unfollow me, please do so. If you want to block me, please do so. I would never hold that against anyone and am not mad at anyone for doing so. Just don’t come in my anon box telling me to jump, don’t message me rude or disgusting messages telling me to die. I am a human, I am a real person behind the screen. What I did was wrong but you are no better telling someone to kill themselves. Please just block me.
All in all thanks for reading. If you unfollow, thanks for being here. If you don’t, thanks for being here. If you want to be removed from any taglists, please just message me. You will not be blocked. Just removed from any future taglists! I have vowed to only post 100 percent of my own content from here on out, so if you stay I can promise you will only be reading my own work.
I am no longer the insecure writer that I once was, I now know my abilities and am confident enough to make my own stories. I have a 240,000 word fic out right now, I genuinely am still shocked I have done that. Writing has become a joy for me and I will not stop now. I should’ve never been afraid to make mistakes or be bad at it. I’m sorry to the people I hurt, my readers, and anyone reading this in the future. I am still growing and learning from my mistakes, and this has been the biggest lesson I will never forget.
Plagiarism is wrong and hurts authors. If you are reading this and have done so as well, please rethink your decisions and take them down, just as I have done.
I love interacting with you all, when you send me asks and messages about HWE or any of my original single fics. It is amazing getting to explain stuff or gush with you guys over the things that I have truly written. I truly love being an author and want my future as one to be honest and communicative.
The comments on this will be monitored, but not restricted. Voicing your thoughts is okay as long as they are respectful and not a direct threat to me or anyone’s life. Questions are okay as well and I will answer to the best of my ability. Please no:
insulting me or any of the people mentioned in this post (manika, venus, zombie, etc)
death threats or suicide baiting anyone
I want this to be a mature and honest discussion, and that can’t happen if I allow such comments. Despite what has been said about or to me, I do not want to replicate any insults/drama on my own blog. You can voice your displeasure or opinions without name calling.
Same goes for any messages or anon box messages you all may send to anyone involved here. We are all real people with feelings. Keep that in mind please before you message anyone.
We all make mistakes. Without mistakes, we cannot grow as people. It’s what we do after we make those mistakes that truly attest to our character. And this is what I’ve chosen to do. Lay it all out for my readers and the rest of the LADS fandom to see, apologize to the people I hurt and only write my own stories from here on out. Thank you to the readers and friends who approached me with kindness and encouraged me to keep writing authentically. And thank you all for reading, I wish all of you the best in life 🤍
-Umi ૮꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ა ♡
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