#exposing myself as DERANGED
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Hello. I adored your book. I was wondering if you could share a bit about your research/inspiration for Uriel/Kimah? I don't know much about Judeo-Christian theology and history. I was curious if this came from the Bible or some sort of folklore or if it was your own interpretation?
Aaa, thank you so much! I'm happy you enjoyed!
Regarding Uri-Kimah: it was all revealed to me in a dream.
(That's the short answer. The long answer, with spoilers, is that it's an interpretation:)
The Bible refers to angels as stars a couple times — Job 38:7 and Revelation 12:4, for example. Revelation 12:4 is especially relevant (Job too, but I'll get to that later); it reads that Satan took down 1/3rd of the stars with him, which most assume to mean angels that became demons due to his influence. So, angels are stars, angels are also weird abominations occasionally, and angels are human-ish sometimes too — I tried to spin these 3 things together and came to the decision that only some angels were physically stars, but which?
I was also thinking scientifically. I wanted to incorporate some aspect of real stars (like the silly lil inclusion of dinosaurs) and I thought a lot about the thousands of years of a dark universe. I wrote all this down, thought about it, then considered, "Maybe the first angels were stars."
Uriel. So Uriel is a bit fascinating to me. I looked through a lot of angel art while planning, and I noticed people tended to depict the archangels with almost consistent personalities. Uriel, to me, usually looked upset, or unhappy. (In comparison to Gabriel, especially, who looks very serene and kind and happy, most of the time.) He also was typically depicted with fire, stars, or the sun (including in Paradise Lost). I was especially struck by this stained glass of him:
I then thought maybe Uriel was one of the first angels or that he knew them.
In my outline, I vaguely wrote that there would be a confrontation between God and Uriel in Chapter 28 about Lucifer, then the first angels, who became stars. I wasn't sure what I was going to write really but, as I drafted, the story of the angels as stars started becoming clearer to me (ex. Michael telling Lucifer, on Earth, the parable about the stars). I started getting flashes of scenes and lines in my head (I remember suddenly imagining Uriel creating fire, and making the connection to his name "Uri" (light) and "-el" (of God). And then I thought that maybe there was no God for a while, and he was just Uri.)
I also started to understand Uriel as a jealous character, (everyone is jealous in this book) but where was his jealousy coming from? I thought maybe he had been in love once too.
A night or two before I wrote Chapter 28 (which I was stressing about), I dreamt about the story of "Uri" and this other angel, along with the other first angels who God turned into stars. After freaking out for an hour, I opened the (YLT) Bible I had, went to the book of Job, where angels were referred to as stars (Job 38:7), and then I stumbled onto Job 38:31: "Dost thou bind sweet influences of Kimah?" Kimah was apparently referencing a constellation.
I liked it, and Uri-Kimah sounded right.
#exposing myself as DERANGED#but this is it sksksk#fun fact: i wrote it all in one (long) sitting and then sent it to a friend without any context and asked if it made sense#the answer is no#uriel#my self insert actually#angels before man#ask#mine
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pov: you're one of the people that sent me the prompt with the knife emoji to find barton standing over a dead body and he may or may not be thinking that when they do find him, he's looking a little bit like THIS
though, in reality, this is how he's actually looking:
LIKE WHY IS HE SUCH A MENACE AND ALSO WHY DID I MAKE THESE??? JSJSJ
#OF MONSTERS AND MEN: musings.#JSJSJ I'M SORRY GUYS I KNOW BOTH OF THESE ARE SOOO CURSED#I HONESTLY DON'T KNOW WHY I MADE THEM (I MIGHT'VE HAD TOO MUCH TIME TO MYSELF YESTERDAY JSJSJ)#BUT APPARENTLY ADDING HIS HAIR TO THEM WAS NECESSARY SOOO#here have these!! (runs)🏃♀️ also this is a joke post so i honest to god do not view barton as being the first one but the second one...#ehh it may be slightly accurate?? i mean with the 'anime fish eye' perspective and everything and the general aura of derangement in it#JSJSJ so yeah this is DEFINITELY not a serious post and i am not trying to make light of him killing people at all. i am just simply trying-#to slightly ease the tension after exposing y'all to the very dark act of having to stumble across barton... with a body... 🫠 so yeah AHHH
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i can’t keep writing down my every waking thought in my notes app late at night because when i do they all end up looking like this
#notes app#notes#deranged behavior#shitpost#the brainrot is real#i’m just a girl#i’m exposing myself#i was probably high#definitely#weed thoughts#i don’t know how to tag#i haven’t been on tumblr in years#daddy’s home 😈#this is gonna flop#fuck you eden#you’re about to get clipped by an alpha with a cold heart
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Hi darling❤️ Here’s a few Uncle Ernie pics to thank you for the masterclass today 🫶🏻 love ya heheh
*I know the effect Uncle Ernie has on you so don’t die please🤣*
My tiny self seeing him:
...Masterclass she says while I was writing all of that when I was bored during classes...
HOW THE FUCK SHOULD I NOT DIE?! THAT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO ME WITH HIM, OH GOD, MY BIG MOUTH The character that did two things to me: literally kicked out the promise I've made to myself to never fall for fictional character again AND the one that makes me as submissive as a tiny mouse can be - he can tie me up, he can use me for his own pleasure, he can ravish me, I can become his pet if he wants, I don't mind, I'll be even thankful for that!
*takes a deep breath*
I just kicked myself upon deciding to even tell you about him, did I? Once you'll watch "Tommy" I'll be even more screwed BUT actually I've decided to make some changes to the AU I have in this musical thanks to that - version I don't know which, there's so many and I can't fucking decide - so that's a plus.
Also you have a fucking timing you know that? I had very dirty thoughts about him today - still have them, those pics are not fucking helping ;//////////////////////////; Thinking about Uncle Ernie fucking me was better than paying attention to history class, oh so much better, you have no idea <3
ANYWAY
Oh my God, I'm losing my shit
I'm gonna tell you a story related to the last pic, thanks to which I can't look at it without getting wet, because why not? I already said what I said above, what the hell!
So, it won't be a surprise when I say that I have wet dreams with Keith and with Uncle Ernie - separated ones, threesome with them is a deadly combo for me, we will not speak about it in this post - and so I had one with Uncle Ernie a few months ago. This pervert got the splendid idea, the first thing in the morning that I should sit on his face. He was excited about it like a tiny child and I did agree. This was the wettest dream I had in this year, I couldn't pull myself together and on top of that, this last photo was the first one I saw upon opening Pinterest. I just looked at it and had that thought cross my mind: "I sat on this face..." and got so fucking turned on I literally couldn't sit XD
And like, you can imagine, judging by my reactions what happens when I watch "Tommy", I don't go through this musical well - the last time I was shaking for 15 minutes and couldn't calm down after seeing him - the "Fiddle About" scene lasts from 2 to 3 minutes, I even begged to skip it, this is how bad I have it with him.
And yep, this is the same level I have with Keith, I'm literally fucked, don't you think? XD
#thank you for this!#it was fun to type all of that#I'm also exposing myself here#second most deranged post here#ask corner
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Please do! (If you're comfortable with doing so)
I love your art, it always brings a smile to my face when I see it :]
Oh my good friend you might start pulling a face once you see what ive been up to
#im exposing myself because the internet is filled with strangers and its fun#taking example from my good mutuals who do the same thing#idk how they do it its so unapologetic#I MUST GET THAT ENERGY RARARAR#im so sorry anon you're so sweet but I'm so deranged from all the men in my head i cant
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loveeeeeeee when my one very spoilt flatmate says some shit about how she treats her mum/how she talks to her mum and me and my other flatmate just look at each other for a silent moment and both just go 'no id be dead'
#like flatmate no.1 is the spoilt one and ive known her as well as flatmate no.2 since not just first year but FRESHERS#like these are my uni 4lifers we've known each other since the first two weeks flatmate no.2 i met on my first DAY#so it's quite funny bc ive SEEN flatmate no.1 change her atittude over time#and i think it's a joint effort of being exposed to different people at uni#and also bc ive just beaten her down every time she says something even remotely ignorant/spoilt#like i normally wouldnt give myself that much credit for a single person's character arc but flatmate no.2 BARELY saw us last year#and me and flatmate no.1 were basically joint at the hip so it was a proximity thing more than me just being super cool and inspiring#so basically what im getting at is that in first year she was sooooo shamelessly spoilt#and it was so clear she just had never hung out with people who WERENT spoilt#and nowadays she's v good at letting herself be the butt of the joke and she still gets iffy about dumb shit#but generally speaking she takes what we give her now whereas she used to ARGUE and that boiled my fucking blood#and it means we can talk more easily about these things and one thing that comes up A LOT is the difference in parenting#like i shit you not this girl uses a baby voice on her parents. it's actually uncomfortable#me however i was raised with a bloody mercenary whose genuine worst insult for us was to call us middle class LMAO#like my mum put tough love into the dictionary her VERBATIM catchphrase is 'fall in or fuck off'#and flatmate no.2 is ESTRANGED from her mum and has a very on-off relationship with her dad that has all round left her very independent#like for her there was no one there to spoil her and for me the person that was there would literally have rather died than have spoilt kid#so flatmate no.1 will say some bratty shit and me and flatmate no.2 are just there like??? are you fucking deranged???#the example that caused this post is that flatmate no.1's mum went into her room#and she was like '.... it smells like weed in here darling....' and my flatmate POINTED AT HER WEED AND WENT 'YEAH THAT'S WHY'#and she was telling us as a haha funny and i was like. THE DISRESPECT?#like my mum would be less angry about the weed than she was about the fact i didnt even respect her enough to hide it if that makes sense#she'd fucking clobber me id be out on the bloody street LMAO#spoilt kids and/or pushover parents just baffle me like i have never won a fight against my mum what are you even doing#'why didn't you do [rebellious thing] as a kid' BITCH I WAS SCARED LMFAO#hella goes to uni
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when people act like 300 hours in a video game is a lot i have to laugh
#exposing myself for being deranged#i started playing when it launched in 2014#so thats like 700 hours a year lmao#the sims#the sims 4#ts4#gamer moment
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im taking my tumblr to THE GRAVE😭
people who only use conventional social media are so funny bc they’ll casually be like “can I see your tumblr??” are you Insane. this is no instagram or twitter. this is my vault of secrets
#NONE of my friends or family know about my tumblr#and im keeping it that way#those that know i use tumblr get no details#my safe space where i can be deranged and morally questionable#i dont need my irl people knowing this side of me#my family judges me enough without my online footprint#i would rather die than expose myself like that#im only allowed to be publicly embarrassing in front of people who equally overshare on this hellsite
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Sealed Pt. 5
first try 😎 (5th really)
1 / 2 / 3 / 4
It didn’t take long to buy what you needed, but your funds were running low. Which led you to believe it was a good time to return to the temple you had opened, immediately after opening the doors there was a line of women and children. It didn’t take long as you started to go through them all, “blessing” pregnant women and healing sick children. Grateful women who couldn’t bear children or didn’t want to lose their children were more than willing to pay any price for healing. You’d been there almost all night when you felt an all too familiar presence. Your back was to the door but you turned looking over your shoulder. There he stood, tall, pale, long black hair and black robes. You turned completely to face him, “You must be Lady Y/n of the Shrine, I’ve heard so many stories of how you… help people, I’m curious of how you do it.”
Kenjaku, those stitches on his forehead would give him away easily to anyone who had common sense. “Sorry men aren’t allowed in the Shrine, with the exception of my husband and son.”
“You have a husband and son?” His face was smiling in disbelief, you didn't trust him even if he and Sukuna had chatted more than a few times he always left an uneasy feeling in your stomach. “Yes but that’s not important , so tell me why you’re really here. I get the feeling you're not leaving so easy.” He hummed, shrugging his shoulders, “I came looking for something. You have it and I might need it. So one sorcerer to another we both know what you have that’s helping you so much, it was awakened when Ryomen Sukuna was reincarnated. Do you know who that is or did you stumble across this little artefact and decide to keep it for yourself.” You watched his hand move from his sleeve holding up one of Sukuna’s fingers. Unamused, you looked away, “Sorry to tell you the only thing I see is a rotting dismembered finger, if you're not here to benefit both of us please leave.” You tried to wave him off but persisted in following you, Morí put himself between the both of you so you didn’t bother to look back at him. “I’ll give you one warning, you give me whatever you took and I’ll leave. But if I have to take it myself-“
He was cut off feeling hot liquid run down his face, your hand held up over your shoulder, “This is your warning, there won’t be a next one.” The sound of his skull cap hitting the floor was disturbing, Morí wanted to gag at the sight of the brain exposed. “That was a mistake.” You turned around your robes ruffled noisily “No! You turning your back when RYOMEN WAS BETRAYED WAS A MISTAKE KENJAKU, your damn lucky you have that binding vow and that he never found out the truth you two faced coward, I used to think you changed bodies so frequently because you actually had a plan. It turns out you're just lowly scum and your intentions were never clear, you’re a coward and when things become difficult in one life you’d just pop someone’s else’s skull open and go for a joy ride until it’s all used up.”
You saw those Fox like eyes light up followed by that unhinged smile, “Well if it isn’t Mrs.Ryomen Sukuna, I heard the rumours you escaped the prison realm, I just couldn’t believe it.” You felt your lip twitch like you were going to bare your teeth, “Believe it, I’m free and don’t think I’m here to support your silly little flip flop grill cheese bullshit plan. I’m also not going to join your little club of misfit cursed wombs and deranged psychopaths. I’m here for Ryomen and my son, if you do anything to hurt either of them I swear on your life Kenjaku I’ll be the one pulling you out of that man’s skull and making sure you never find another life. I have my plans already and I don’t need you.” He seemed displeased, “That’s the problem here Y/n, your wedding vows can’t do a thing to break a binding vow.”
You laughed “That’s the thing Kenny, you two made a binding vow, Tyler’s say there’s this cute little red string tying to Ryomen, you can both push and pull in the same direction as long as the rope never breaks. But, what happens if a third party comes in and manages to cut that string.” Your head tilted with a passive smile, “Get out.”
————-
“Alright Mama-dori, it's time for little Itadori to go out on his own on a mission!” Gojo seemed excited about breaking this news to you. You couldn’t have given him a more bewildered look. “What do you mean on a mission?” Mori was by your side taking the cracking tea cup from your hand before it shattered over the tea table. “Think of it as a field mission … erm Lady Y/n.” Your face didn’t change much while you were staring him down, he could swear he’s seen that look before. “Where’s it going to happen…?”
He gave you a mischievous smile, “Well if I told you how do I know you wouldn’t interfere.” “If you didn't, what makes you think I wouldn’t find Yuji on my own.” Your smug smile didn’t go unnoticed. “Good luck finding us then.”
———
It didn’t take long of you spending your day at home lazing about waiting for Yuji to come back, you weren’t held captive in this dingy little house but you started to wonder if this is what Sukuna felt like now that you understood he was trapped inside of Yuji
“Mooriiiiii”….. “hm.” “MoorIIIIIIII” “I’m sorry?” “MORI.” You finally lifted your head from being laid out on the cushions on the floor, Mori sighed with a sympathetic smile, closing the book he constantly kept your records and plans in. “Yes Lady Y/n?” You rolled over laying your head on the pillow not looking at him anymore, “I miss- Yuji? Or is it your husband this time?” You fell silent huffing and burying your face into the pillow “bof” Mori shook his head with a small smile at your muffled speech. “We’ve talked about this Lady Y/n, if you do want both of them back they really do need to know the truth.” You moved around so the side of your face was on the pillow and you could just barely see Mori looking at you from the tea table, “Do you know how difficult it’s going to be to explain to Sukuna he was reincarnated into his son that he now sees he’s being held hostage in?” Mori’s eyes didn’t leave your face as you watched a ladybug crawl past you, “But he recognizes you even without your cursed presence Lady Y/n…”
Finally you sat up looking at him, “Do you wanna know a secret Morinozuka? Something almost no one else knows?” He seemed uneasy at the thought, hesitating as you continued, “I’ll have to kill you if you ever tell anyone else but do you know why I lived so long? Why don't I age? Look at us Morino, you were a child when I found you all those years ago. You’ve grown, look at me, I have the same face and appearance as the day we met.” You held your hand out to him, he took it in his looking over the back of it, he remembered your hands well. When he was a child you gave him that motherly love of wiping away his tears, he’d take your hand whenever he’d get scared walking in public. He watched you fill out every paper, he admired the way you would heal people, but he always noticed how people’s hands changed with their age, but your hands were the same as the day he met you. “You haven’t aged Lady Y/n but I can’t tell why.”
“I’m a curse Mori, there’s a beautiful story behind how I became a curse” he watched how you smiled looking at your hand, he watched a mark form over your finger, “But that’s a story for another time!” You were quick to get up, “Let’s make something to eat. I doubt Gojo’s not going to feed them so we can eat at least.”
It didn’t take long for You and Mori to throw together a hot pot with meatballs. You were serving Mori who insisted he should be serving you, “oh be quiet Mori I didn’t take care of you for years for you to take care of every little thing I do now, now eat.” He huffed and started to eat watching as you started to serve yourself, it was when you were about to eat your own meal Yuji busted into your new home excited to tell you about everything. Mori caught your food as Yuji tackled you in a hug “Mom you should’ve seen us it was so cool we…” he paused looking at the table where you had set up the pot of broth. “Oh you were eating, sorry.” You watched as he smiled sitting back on his heels rubbing the back of his head with a big shy smile. You couldn’t help but smile at him, “cmon sit I’ll serve you some if you want and you can tell us how your… field test went.” He sat cross legged beside you leaning against your shoulder rambling and stuffing his face telling you about the revolving sushi and this Girl Kugisaki he and Fushiguro met. You laughed hearing how he whined that she sighed after just looking at them. You leaned your head on his and he kept talking, you listened to every word until he eventually fell asleep in your lap.
You looked down at him, your sweet boy, until you saw that eye open up, and a mouth form, it was a soft call and out of character, “Y/n.” You looked at him, Ryomen, “Ryo…” you saw the malicious smile on his face “If this brat trusts you so much I think you could do a little talking and get me out of here don’t you?” He watched and you smiled, shaking your head, crinkling your nose, “Reincarnated not too long ago and you're already making bigger plans…” your smile fell “what the hell was that where are the women and children moving about anyways hm?”
He looked away making a “face” “I don’t know what you're talking about woman, must’ve misheard….” “Mhm.” He looked back at you before looking away, “It’s been lonely you know…” you leaned down pressing a kiss to Sukuna’s “cheek”, he didn’t bother trying to fight you, “I know it’s been lonely you’ve been locked up for centuries Ryo.” He hummed, before looking at you upset “What are you doing HERE Y/n! Why would you surround yourself with these sorcerers and this brat? Who is this brat? WHYS HES SLEEPING ON YOUR LAP!?” Yuji stirred and you rubbed his head, you should send him to sleep in his dorm, “Ryomen-“ you gave him a look, he rolled his eye, “as much as you’d hate to hear this, Yuji Itadori is our so- mm, hmm?” Yuji sat up rubbing his eyes, “What time is it?” He yawned and all you saw was Sukuna squinting at Yuji before disappearing.
“It’s 10:40 Yu,” you started to stand up, “You should go sleep in your dorm so Gojo to Fushigumi don’t freak out if you're missing.”
He laughed, “Fushigumi.” He’s gonna love that one.” He stood up from the ground stretching and yawning before he squeezed you in a hug, “Gnight mom I’ll see you tomorrow.”
————-
“Hm, it’s July… I wonder if Yuji will want to go watch the fireworks later this month…” you yawned leaning against the post on the porch of the little home. The afternoon sun shining on your face, eyes closed, head resting back against the post. Ungratefully one leg was propped up the other was swinging off the porch just barely grazing the grass, the vibrant red of your robes shining bright. The shoji doors were open wide with fly nets set up, futons were airing out for when you wanted to laze about on the porch or in the living room on the floor, Morí had gotten tired of watching you throw all the cushions in a pile just to complain when you were on the floor and the cushions wouldn’t stay still. You heard him hum still scribbling away, you looked over picking up the hand fan laying at your side, “This was my wedding fan, did you bring it?” Morí hummed again “you said bring ALL your precious belongings when we first left the temple I assumed since it was wrapped in fine linen and in a red wooden box it was preserved for a reason. Then I saw a painting in your temple and it all made sense, Lady Y/n.” You waved it around unceremoniously watching the little charms sway around, “Lady Y/n… was Ryomen Sukuna really your husband?”
“Is he really my husband" is what you mean, he still is my husband even after all these years being forced apart…” you paused looking down on the school, “…he’s my husband…surprisingly he was different then to now. I still love him regardless, he gave me his heart and I gave him mine, sure the wedding vows today would probably sound occult but I was his he was mine, it took years to be comfortable by his side and then we he’s our first child, Yuj-” Morí watched the panicked look on your face, when you pulled your sleeve up grabbing your arm where your binding vow has marked you. He watched you squeeze the muscle hissing through gritted teeth, “Yuji.” It sounded like a forced grunt. He watched you cough from trying to bear the pain, it stopped and you let go, you were visibly confused “Lady Y/n what- I don’t know” you cut him off, “that’s never happened before.” You watched as the mark became a lighter colour almost blending into your skin then you understood, “I NEED TO FIND YUJI.”
———
“….s..Go..” You couldn’t get the words out, you wanted to scream at Satoru, you wanted everyone to die and it filled the room the moment he didn’t let you enter and you forced your way in to see your son laying on the cold metal bed. He was stripped bare with a gaping hole in his chest, the woman in a lab coat and Gojo watched you walk right past them. You could still feel a faint lingering of Sukuna’s cursed energy. Your hand moved up slowly taking Yuji's. He was so cold. The hand you squeezed as a child, the tiny chubby hands that wiped your tears “It’s okay mommy!” The hands you held onto walking him to school, you shook your head, tears in your eyes, it’s always these damn sorcerers who are so prideful in what they do they try to play heroes and fix the world. Putting the lives of others at expense even if it means they’ll only save one or two people. Your hand trailed up his arm fingertips brushing over where your binding vow was disappearing. “Some proud jujutsu sorcerer you must be.” You could feel Gojo’s stare, having ignored all his rambling but knowing he was upset.
“My son is dead at the expense of what Satoru Gojo?”
Your hair fell over your face when your tears started to fall, ducking your head down feeling like your chest and shoulders were curling in on you. You placed your hand on his chest and it felt like everything changed. You weren’t in that room, you were standing in an all too familiar place.
“Oh,” you felt the heat in your cheeks rising when you heard Ryomen’s voice, “Well if it isn’t my pretty little wife finally coming to visit me hm?” He was behind you, his left arm lazily wrapped around your waist the right around your shoulder so his hand could hold your jaw, he turned your face to look back and up at him. His eyes were lidded and smiled down at you, “Ryomen…” he moved in closer, his lips ghosting over yours, “y/n.” He closed the gap kissing you, he could feel the way you broke out and smiled against his lips, it made him crack his own smile when you tried to hold back your giggles. You were so happy to be able to see him after so long, “Ryo.” You pulled away and he frowned slightly looking at you, “what- LET GO OF HER-“
All you saw was Sukuna grabbing Yuji’s fist and throwing him and sending him flying into the liquid a distance away. “Oh Yuji..”
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#sukunas wife#sukunas wife speaks#daddy sukuna#sukuna ryomen#jjk anime#jujutsu kaisen#ryomen sukuna#sukuna thirst#sukuna x reader#sukuna x wife reader#sukuna x you#sukunas wife’s ask#yuji and mom reader#dadkuna#soft sukuna#yuji x mom reader#sukunation#son yuji#Sukuna nation#jjk sukuna ryomen#dad sukuna son yuji#jjk ryomen sukuna#son yuji mom reader#jjk asks#sukuna fluff#🤍mail time
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Mine to Covet
(Dark!ReverendMotherJessica x Female!Reader)
Word Count: 3.9K
Summary: An unfortunate fate where your lover's mother wants to have you all to herself, and she's willing to do anything.
Warning(s): Dark fanfiction, Smut, Yandere, Dub-Con, etc.
A/N: I do love my yandere. Another anon also asked for a yandere/kidnapping fic and I'll probably write that one next. Also, English is not my first language so please don't come after me due to my grammar. Enjoy!
Gimme me more requests!! Please!
-_-_-
JESSICA’S POV
As a Bene Gesserit, I possess supreme levels of discipline, including complete control over my emotions and urges. So how is it that I can feel my blood boil in anger and taste the bitterness of envy violate my tongue as I watch my own son woo the woman he claims as his? Why do I feel the strong urge to cut off his hand the moment it touched yours?
At first, I was confused by this foreign feeling, so I grew angry with myself. I didn’t understand what it was.
It first occurred when Paul, my only son, introduced you to me. A Fremen girl he has grown to fancy. I remembered how he gushed over you, clearly seeking his mother’s approval, my approval. But no words from his lips reached my interest for I had my focus solely on the divine creature presented to me. With a barely concealed amusement, I observed your fidgeting form battling the urge to look me straight in the eyes, it was clear to me that you were nervous, the reason may be from knowing that I am the Reverend Mother or maybe because it is I who birthed the Lisan al Gaib or simply because I am Paul’s mother, it mattered not to me. What mattered was the pleasant feeling that I get from your presence alone. Such a strange girl… However, my amusement ended swiftly when Paul held your hand in his. My breath hitched and my once relaxed hand turned to a fist as my vision started to bleed red.
What is happening to me?! Why do I feel this way?! I remembered muttering inside my head. I felt as if I was no longer in control of my own body. Fear clawed against my skin and with great haste, I silently spoke the litany of fear to calm myself. Careful not to expose the battle within to anyone present. Unfortunately, I find myself feeling the same way right now.
Not long after realization struck me like a ton of bricks. The dreadful realization that I simply covet you…the girl whom my son is in love with. I want you as much as he does… maybe even more so.
I blame my late Duke’s death for having these thoughts. Perhaps it is caused by the sudden loss of the man I loved that pushed me into having these strong urges towards you. Maybe I see him in you and I'm feeling lonely. Or maybe I’m just truly damaged and deranged that my head is now filled with such corrupted thoughts. I am desiring something or rather someone I can’t have.
But you will have her… she is yours… the voices in my head whisper.
“No, she’s with Paul… She belongs to my son,” I whisper back as I look at you longingly while hiding in the shadows.
She belongs to no one else but yours… Yours to love… yours to keep… yours to defile… yours to consume…
“Stop it… You have no idea what you’re saying. I cannot hurt Paul like that,” I weakly argue back as my eyes start to water with tears. I love my son dearly and because of that, I will fight hard against the voices… against my feelings. But deep inside I know I’m fighting a losing battle… I know that I have already lost.
_-_-_
Time passed and bit by bit my resolve crumbled and the thoughts of my son turned into nothing. Now, all I can think of is you… and the millions of other ways I can have you.
She is yours…
Claim her…
She is yours…
Claim her….
Eyes dark with lust and pure deranged obsession I look at you once more while hidden in the shadows as I whisper to myself, “She is mine and I will claim her.”
-_-_-
Y/N POV
"You're so beautiful, " Paul whispered in my ear, making me smile.
We've been sitting out here for some time now. Watching as the sun sets for the night.
"We better go inside, Paul. It's no longer safe to stay out at this hour"
Paul nodded in agreement before he pulled me up with him and we started to walk inside.
"Oh, I almost forgot. My mother wants to see you," I stopped when I heard what he said.
"Why?" I asked, trying to remain calm as much as possible.
Truth be told. Paul's mother, the Reverend Mother, scares me. She’s a Bene Gesserit, she walks in the shadows. No one truly knows what goes on in her mind. All I know is there’s something strong about her presence, but something that felt forbidden and so wrong. She is beautiful as much as she’s dangerous.
In simple terms, I don’t trust her.
"Don't worry, she just wants to talk," he gave me a reassuring smile before leaving me in front of the Reverend Mother's tent.
After taking a deep breath I made my presence known by going inside. My eyes wandered all over the unique decor of the Reverend Mother’s tent until it settled on the middle where there’s a small table with two cups filled with some kind of tea.
“Hello little one,” a sultry voice whispered suddenly into my ear, breaking me out of my thoughts and making me turn to see the Reverend Mother invading my personal space so sensually from behind.
“Forgive me, I didn’t mean to startle you,” she continued with a chuckle.
“No need to ask for forgiveness, Reverend Mother. You didn’t” I lied, trying to remain calm as I felt my cheeks heat up from our proximity. “Paul said that you asked to see me.”
“I did,” Her eyes were on me, filled with intent that I failed to decipher. She brushed her fingertips across my shoulder, causing goosebumps to run along my skin before she motioned for me to sit on the carpeted ground right next to the small table.
After I complied she walked towards me and immediately joined me by sitting close to my side, our clothed thighs lightly brushing against each other.
“Have some tea, I have it specially prepared for us,” she said while gesturing for me to take it, there's a challenging glint in her eyes, daring me to refuse.
With no intention to displease my lover’s mother, I complied and took a little sip. The moment it met my tongue I was surprised to find it very cooling.
“This is good”
“Yes, simple but very soothing. But, you must drink deeply for the full effect,” she said with amusement dripping from her voice.
Without any second thoughts, I did what I was told, and the Reverend Mother seemed satisfied with this as I can see it in her smile. Soon I was holding an empty cup. I had drained it and yet, I’m still thirsty.
“Would you like some more?” she asked.
“Y-yes, If it’s not much of a bother, Reverend Mother,” I replied, self-consciously rubbing the fabric over my hips.
“Not at all, and please... Call me Jessica” she replied, her eyes glinting with something dark as she carefully replenished my cup.
“As you wish, Jessica. May I know why I'm being summoned?” I breathed, my heart pounding in my chest as our gazes met before I took a generous sip from my drink. There was something undeniably alluring about her, something that both scared and excited me.
The weight of her eyes on me feels invasive like she could see through my cracks and discover all of my weaknesses. She’s watching me as if I’m her prey.
“You must understand, Y/N, I’m a determined woman. Whenever I have an agenda I’ll make sure to do everything in my power to achieve it. Whatever means necessary.” She muttered, leaning in close to my ear. Her warm breath sent shivers down my spine.
“Did Paul touch you yet?” Her tone was casual with her sudden question, but her eyes were anything but.
“Wh-what?,” I stuttered, feeling my cheeks flush not believing what I was hearing right now.
“Have you given yourself to my son, sexually?” she leaned in closer to me.
“Uh, n-no,” I stammered, my body trembling like a leaf.
“Are you being truthful with me?” she purred, her fingertips ghosting lightly along my exposed neck. It was such a simple yet surprisingly intimate gesture that it made me feel like the tent suddenly caught fire from how hot it was.
I shakily nodded while she only looked at me with satisfaction.
“Have you taken his gift of water yet? Or yours to him?” she asked, scooting closer. Her smell was intoxicating and it made my head spin.
“N-no…not yet. He wants to wait until we are to be married.”
The Reverend Mother snickered under her breath and continued. “I raised that boy and taught him everything I know so he’ll rise and fulfill his destiny one day. But now, I’m starting to have second thoughts. It seems to me he’s just as weak as his father. A beautiful morsel such as yourself standing so willingly at the palm of his hand and yet he never thought about fully claiming you as his. So sure that you’ll stay right where you are. I guess he never thought about someone stealing you away. Such a huge mistake on his part but a blessing for me.” she said with a wicked grin, her delicate fingers tracing slow circles on my forearm as if she were teasing me.
But before I could respond, I noticed that the tent was becoming increasingly warm. Worse, I was finding my body uncomfortably warm. My face was becoming flushed and I was panting. My suit was becoming very confining. How odd, I thought. I grew up wearing this suit, but now I desire nothing more than to get them off.
My eyes landed on my now empty cup next to the Reverend Mother’s. That’s when I realized that she’d never touched her cup, not even a single drop.
She followed my gaze to her cup before catching mine. Slightly tilting her head, she then smiled knowingly.
“I-I need to leave” I croaked back, fear creeping into my bones as alarm bells started ringing in my head.
But when I was about to stand up, I was immediately met with a sudden dizziness making me sit back down ungracefully.
It felt like my innards were being replaced by some kind of emptiness. I tried to stand again, desperate to leave the tent. I swayed just for a moment before the Reverend Mother caught me and pushed me down with my back against the carpet, a soft gasp of surprise leaving my lips.
She didn’t waste any time as she got on top of me and pinned my hands above my head in a tight grip, sharp nails digging against my skin but not breaking.
The Reverend Mother’s face was close to mine as she intently stared into my fear-filled eyes.
“Oh, no little girl. You’re not going anywhere,” she whispered above me.
Her face was blank from any emotion, but her eyes said it all.
“Did you poison me?” I whimpered. Her grip on my wrist tightened more than before, making me yelp in pain as she cut off the circulation of my blood.
“Of course not, I would never harm you without reason. Only to ensure your utmost obedience. The tea is for making you more pliant, not to kill.” she purred, leaning in close enough that our lips almost brushed. Her warm breath mingled with mine.
“What do y-you want from me?” I stammered, my voice barely audible.
She smiled maliciously at me before she started speaking.
“Isn’t it obvious, dear one? I want you.” one of her hands left my wrist and slowly traced my face with her fingers before she continued, “From the moment we met I already felt a certain pull towards you. I didn’t fully realize what it was until much later. Deep down I know you feel the same. That’s the reason why you went with Paul so that you could be closer to me.”
She’s starting to sound and look very much deranged. To my complete horror, she seems to believe her words to be true.
No…This can’t be happening. Paul… I’m with Paul!
I shook my head no but that was not what she was looking for. I yelped in pain from the sudden sting of her slap against my now-reddened cheek.
“Do not lie to me.” Her tone was assertive as she spoke every word.
“I’m not.” I cried weakly.
Another slap and tears started to run down my cheeks.
She leaned down and her warm wet tongue immediately tasted my despair with delight written all over her face.
“I don’t like hurting you. But know that I will when I deem it necessary. So you better give me the answer that I want, little girl. Don’t test my patience. Try again.”
I only shook my head once more, refusing to back down. This made her chuckle
”Such a stubborn girl. I’ll enjoy breaking and reshaping you into my good little girl.” she whispered next to my ear.
Is she for real? My mouth fell open as I struggled to say anything. Suddenly I heard footsteps outside the tent.
“Mother, is Y/N still with you?”
Hearing Paul’s voice almost made me tear up with joy thinking that this would all come to an end. But when I looked at the Reverend Mother it seemed like I was dead wrong. Instead of seeing a look of panic, she gave me a wicked grin.
“She is… come inside, my son. I want to show you something.”
Paul entered the tent and suddenly froze where he stood when his eyes landed on us. The woman he sires pinned underneath his own mother’s body.
“Wh-what is going on here?” Paul asked as he looked at us confused.
“Paul, help me, please. Your mother has lost her mind” I pleaded as he went closer.
“Mother! Get off her ri–”
“SILENCE!” Paul’s words were cut off as I saw his mouth shut in command. His eyes were immediately filled with betrayal and hurt when he realized that his mother used the voice on him. But his mother did not care at all, “Kneel and do not move” she commanded his son once more.
I looked at her as if she lost her mind. Perhaps she did.
“Oh don’t look at me like that, little one. For it is you who made me this way” she leaned over and planted a kiss on my cheek. I tried to jerk away but couldn’t. The kiss practically seared my skin like molten lava.
She pulled a dagger from under her robes and then turned towards his son, a slave to her command.
“You know very well that I love you, Paul. But unfortunately for you, my love for Y/N weighs more heavy. I won’t let you have her. She is mine…only mine. And you will watch as I claim her.” her attention then went back to me as she sliced through my stillsuit and garments beneath it. I am now completely naked to her eyes.
My head turned to Paul and saw the same panic set in his eyes. We were both sobbing and fearful of what was to come.
She laughed maliciously and roughly gripped my chin to look at her.
“Open your mouth” my breath hitched as I felt her voice crawl its way into my head. Not a second passed and my mouth opened.
“Take the gift of my water and you shall become one with me. Take it and you will be mine…forever.” she whispered before spitting into my mouth, “Swallow” she commanded before her lips descended against mine.
Her kiss was violent, forcing her tongue past my gritted teeth.
The tongue quickly found its way around my mouth and explored every inch. In parallel to that, her hands moved around and groped my breast. She slightly massaged them and pinched the erected nipples. It was not that the events aroused me. It was the cold that made my body like that.
The kiss ended after a while, me being out of the air while the older woman was looking crazier than before. She licked her lips another time before stripping her garments away. She moved and kneeled in front of my face, her warmth being right on top of my face. "Pleasure me, little one." She commanded using the voice commanding voice and I immediately complied.
"Yes!" She started to move her body up and down, making her juice splash on my face. "Now, get that tongue of yours at work, beautiful girl," She ordered and once again tightened the grip, forcing me to obey her order.
I had to stick my tongue forward, forced to have a taste of the older woman. It was sweet and I couldn't stop myself from moaning from the taste of her. She also moaned at the feeling of my tongue inside her and moved faster until she cummed in my mouth.
Just as I was about to let go of a sigh, my left leg was lifted, Jessica’s right leg sliding under it. "It is not the end yet! I still have a lot of things I want to teach your body." She pushed her hip forward, making our center meet.
I can't help but admit that it started to feel so good, so good that I failed to notice that I was no longer under the influence of the voice.
She repeated to thrush several more times, bringing our center together and making them part, and then collide again. She started to moan once again as I did the same, her hands starting to play with my breast, enjoying every contact through my body. Until my first orgasm was ripped from me this evening, followed by the beautiful temptress who laid on top of me while catching her breath from her release.
She looked down at me in complete amusement as I lay helplessly underneath her.
Jessica kissed the tip of my nose before sliding her warm body over me. She then began to touch me once more, and that was when I started to squirm a little. She moved her arms around my body, rubbing it in a very erotic way. "So beautiful! I can't help but masturbate thinking about you every day. And now, you are finally mine." She put a hand on my knee and began to gently stroke my leg.
Oh no... please no more...
"P--please... I can't. It's too much"
I struggled as I tried to pull myself away from her, but my body is still weak from the drugged tea and pleasure.
"Shhhh... I know you can. Just give me one more, little one. I just need to taste you."
She settled herself in between my legs, parting them by force.
She reached between my legs and pushed something. It's her finger against my clit, causing my back to arch. "Oh!" I gasped, head falling back. "Oh, oh—"
Jessica cupped my left breast and mouthed at it, kissing and licking. I didn't know where to look but into her eyes, trying my best not to follow the sound of a silently sobbing man.
I'm not sure what possessed me at the moment but I was suddenly desperate to taste her lips.
"Kiss me," I begged. "Please..."
And she did. Soft and sweet, holding me to her. Tugging my lip with her teeth and stroking my back, my butt. She took hold of my legs, cupping the underside of my knees. Bringing my legs around her waist, she rocked against me, teasing my lip with her tongue.
I parted my lips for her, tasting her, sighing... Jolting when she tugged on my nipple. "Oh, ow, owie—, please don't—"
I cried out with pleasure. This was so nice; it felt so good.
She smiled at me. “You’ve got the prettiest pussy I’ve ever seen, my beloved,” she said, reaching to touch me, pulling back the hood of my clit so she could rub me with her thumb. I shivered. “Look at this tiny clit. So fucking adorable, and all mine…”
She proceeded to slide down my body until she was face to face with my dripping warmth.
I gasped when she started to lick me and felt my stomach twitch, surprised and excited at Reverend Mother’s eagerness to please me. I felt her tongue trace the outline of my lower lips and shuddered. A moment later, the older woman finally slid her tongue over my clit, and that's when I felt my walls clenching in a sudden spasm, screaming in pure pleasure for the second time. Due to the intensity, I blacked out.
-_-_-
A groan left my lips when I woke up, my body deliciously sore.
Slightly stretching, that's when I realized that I was not alone.
To my left, Paul stood looking down at me. Tears stained his cheeks, eyes full of hatred.
“P-paul… I–”
“Silence! I don’t need your excuse. You and I are over” Paul spits his words with so much anger that it hurts.
“But Paul, it was your mother’s doing… I didn’t wa–”
“SILENCE”
The command surprised me into shock. Having the Reverend Mother use the voice on me seems to hurt less than having Paul do the same thing.
“You will not speak ill of the Reverend Mother. For she is the mother of your people’s chosen and now… your intended... for you two are fully bonded as one”
Paul’s words confused me greatly. Why would he say such a thing after everything his mother did in front of him? But my thoughts were then silenced when I saw a pair of hands rest on his shoulders. The Reverend Mother’s face appeared next to his.
“That’s enough, my son. I think my beloved has heard enough. You may take your leave” she calmly whispered.
Paul did what his mother asked but not before sparing me one last glance and whispered under his breath… I’m sorry… and now completely leaving me alone with a predator hungry for my flesh.
“What have you done to him?! Did you use your voice?!” I yelled accusingly, but she only laughed at this before kneeling beside my vulnerable form.
“No, Paul is simply being a good son. I raised him well, he knows to never go against my will. I brought him into this world and gave him his birthright, he owes me as much.” She smiled devilishly.
She looked down at me with a predatory grin before slowly tilting my chin with her finger to meet her eyes.
It was so dark and full of lust that it felt like I was about to drown in it.
"So here's what will happen from now on, you better listen carefully because everything that is attached to your existence will be at play if I don't get what I want, understood?" I weakly nodded, no longer having the will to fight back.
"Good girl" Jessica praised before caressing my cheek.
"You will surrender yourself to me and in time I know that you will so willingly. The more you take the gift of my water, the stronger our bond grows. In the meantime, you will be my obedient darling girl. Whatever I say, goes. Understood?" Her grip on my chin tightened, emphasizing how serious she was.
"Ye-yes" I stuttered through gritted teeth.
"If you behave like a good little girl for me, I will reward you with anything you desire, but if you disobey... You will learn that I won't go easy on my punishment. Since that's all settled then, time to quench my thirst."
"W-with what?" I fearfully asked.
The Reverend Mother smiled at me before leaning in close, her lips almost touching mine.
"You."
#lady jessica x reader#dune#lady jessica#rebecca ferguson#dark fanfiction#yandere#dune part 2#fanfiction#jessica atreides#bene gesserit#obsession
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Welcome to ME DRABBLING ABOUT A NEW AU IDEA "UnderPressure"
As the name states, this will be a crossover of Undertale and Pressure. With playing through the game a few times and reading documents, I thought to come up with this idea before anyone hopefully. This au in particular goes moreso through the pressure story set up but with small twists of my own.
That being Sebastian will still be there to help out and give advice. However its more my version of Sebastian / theories I personally have on the character alone.
With that being said let me give a small hint of the characters...
Crossovers:
Nightmare = Void Mass [ Appearance of half his corrupted self and other more voided mass of tentacles. Dark turquoise instead of purple to fit his negative energy]
Ink = Squiddle [ Has a squid like body covered in ink and dripping paint from his eye sockets. The expressions being different colours when flashed or close by]
Killer = Anglerfish [ Different stages of his soul represent the different variant of Anglerfish that are within the game. A light on his head and black streaks down his face. Gills can be seen on his neck and small scales across his bones. Stage 1. Angler with White Light | Stage 2. Blitz , Fast and hyper with a Blue Light and slowly developing tar like tears | Stage 3. Froger, very fast and more aggressive, has a light brown bulb with more hate pouring out his eyes and can rebound back and forth a few times before leaving. | Stage 4. Mutli-Monster, The highest stage and extremely aggressive, WILL INSTANT KILL and leave 5 seconds to hide. Light shines a DARK RED, hate pouring from eyes and mouth also is very fast. This stage is rare to see...]
Dust = Wall-Dweller [ A sneaky and silent individual who creeps behind the mains. He is seen with no arms, face covered with a metal like plate and hoodie covering most of his body. His back when exposed reveals the many holes and smoky texture as a side effect of the mutation.
Error = p.AI.nter [ Takes form of a computer like AI that has complete control over the Blacksite networks, CCTV footage and other machines including the Turrets. His proper appearance can be seen of him floating with a computer like head when interacting with the main characters trying to help ]
Swap = GoodPeople [ Deranged and mangle of bones kinda like an Amalgamates. Some bones melting into the floor and walls around them like a spider thread. He has a small mask over his face to cover the melting appearance he possesses after the experimentation]
Horror = Eyefestation [ Due to the mutation, his height spikes larger and more creepy with eyes scattering his body and inside the crack he wields on his head. The original eyes, having either completely disappeared or one with the crack. Who knows which one is his real one ]
Cross and Dream as the Protagonists of this AU, being the ones who are running through the facility.
THATS ALL FN, if you are looking forward to learning more feel free to ask and will eventually update more about this au once more has been written. Its a small project but love to see who else is interested.
PS: if you are wanting to join in with ideas feel free to let me know or even come up with designs, just tag me and will have a look for myself TEHE.
#undertale#utmv#undertale au#digital art#artwork#alternate universe#sans#ibis paint#underpressure#underpressure au#dusttale#murder sans#bad sanses#horror sans#dust sans#murder time trio#bad sans gang#horrortale#dust dweller#eyefestTerror#pressure#pressure fanart#pressure roblox#pressure au#crossover#oc#new au idea#nightmare sans#ink sans#error sans
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https://www.tumblr.com/longing-for-rain/755847912227028992/here-we-observe-the-aang-boymom-in-its-natural?source=share
Hi! I'm curious on your thoughts of this meta.
hi anon! so sorry for keeping you waiting with this response, i know it’s been months. unfortunately this probably isn’t gonna be the response you wanted to hear—me breaking down this zk brainrot rant and subverting their claims with canon content. please allow me to explain though (this is gonna be long sorry):
the reasons i’ve been slow to answer this ask and others that have sent me zk rants are:
since joining atla twitter (@arrsapphics if you’re cool) i’ve been exposed to a lot more zk coke-fueled rants and just do not have the energy to torture myself by willingly reading their shit
a lot of these zutara stans on tumblr are a lot more deranged and genuinely horrible people now that i’ve been exposed to the twitter zks. of course, zks are stupid and ship-obsessed on every platform and some of them (one in particular comes to mind—if you’re on twitter then you know) are genuinely just as bad, but i feel the ones on here have a special type of hatred considering they can tag their posts to ensure their hate stays within the echo chamber
CONTENT WARNING: RAP3
the second reason is the biggest part of why i will no longer entertain posts from longing-for-rain. i have recently found out via twitter that they write rape fanfiction of katara. being a chronically online shipper is one thing but to write fanfic of katara being raped so that zuko can save her is truly where i have to disengage. they have also posted rants of them analyzing katara’s body in the show, measuring the size of her breasts and hips to support the delusions in their head about this 14 year old girl. i truly cannot engage with this person’s rants as if they’re just regular shipping war bullshit. this person is a sick individual who not only projects onto a 14 year old brown indigenous character but also sexualizes and adultifies her
for these reasons, i refuse to read a rant posted by her and other big zk blogs on this app. people who take their obvious fetishes and racism and project them onto underaged asian and indigenous characters have gained too much attention from me on this blog. i can’t continue reading rants from these people and analyzing them because i know these people are not treating this show and its characters under an appropriate lens and arguing with their points will do absolutely nothing but enrage me, other people in the ka fandom, and fuel their delusions with our anger as “proof” their arguments hold any weight. on twitter, i’ll continue interacting with what comes up on my tl from my atla moots and if that includes shitting on a deranged zk then fine. but on tumblr i refuse to engage, especially since this app has a tagging system that i use religiously
and i would like to encourage anyone who reads this to also refuse to take this person’s rants seriously and look at them as nothing more than cope-hatred by a sick individual with sick fantasies and thoughts about these minor characters. of course, if you choose to still engage then i won’t stop you and will probably like and reblog your posts 😭
i will just no longer willingly click on links to their rants and subject myself to their bullshit. however, if you’d like for me to argue against zk claims then you are more than welcome to send me a summary of what they’ve said and i’ll do my best to organize a response! i absolutely do not want to discourage anyone from sending me asks because i truly do enjoy answering yalls questions and i love knowing that people like hearing what i have to say on these things lol. please, send me asks about anything and everything! just please understand that i won’t be clicking any links to their posts and blogs or be entertaining anything that comes from the three main delusional zk blogs 🙏
i hope this has made sense and again, i’m sorry anon for taking so long to answer this ask and for not giving the expected response 🫶
#cw rap3#atla#avatar the last airbender#anti zutara stans#anti zutara#aang#avatar aang#katara#atla aang#katara atla#kataang
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last serious post for tonight i promise but i think part of the reason i value critical thinking so much (even though i realize that might come as a surprise if your only knowledge of me as a person comes from here, because tumblr is more of an escape slash stream of consciousness collaborative scrapbook for me than a platform for spreading awareness or teaching and learning tool - no offence to anyone who does use it for that, i just prefer to treat it as a hobby myself) is because i grew up both extremely isolated and controlled and prevented from expressing myself while also watching my parents fall hard down the conspiracy theory pipeline and experiencing the creeping horror of growing old enough to understand that and learning more about the world and being exposed to more people and ideas in it and realizing that my fear and frustration around them wasn't just typical teen angst but an entirely reasonable reaction to their increasing capacity to be very dangerous and untrustworthy people.
and like. i did actually try to pull them back. i wasn't very good at it (partly because i was a kid, and partly because i have my own biases and misconceptions and just plain bad ideas that i'll spend my entire life working on unlearning and trying to be aware and receptive to criticism of) but goddamn it did i fucking try. i tried discussing, i tried debating, i tried arguing back and standing up for myself and others, i tried researching and learning and presenting my counterarguments backed up with actual evidence, i tried to get other people to support me despite lacking much in terms of social skills or confidence or people around me who didn't buy into all the same bullshit, or something equally stupid and harmful. i even read the things they sent me and showed me so i could say "look, i approached this with an open mind and genuine good faith, i reflected on it and i used my critical thinking skills and tried to understand, but this is wrong and it's going to get people hurt. it's going to get you to hurt people."
i grew up knowing that as the closest person to them who hadn't fallen into the same trap of facebook radicalization groups and increasingly deranged and cult-like (and i don't use that word lightly) organizations and communities online i had a responsibility to try to protect people by warning them that my parents have the potential to cause a lot of harm and suffering if nothing else. and i failed. i'm not a trained deprogramming therapist and they probably crossed whatever event horizon ordinary people who aren't professionally taught how to combat that shit could have any chance of pulling them back from long ago. but the one thing i still have the ability to do is not let the same thing happen to me. i refuse to just passively let everything i see and hear fester in my brain until it starts poisoning all my thoughts and interactions with the world and people around me, and i'm still willing to try to encourage others to be aware and critical of everything around them so they don't end up following the same path and ending up unrecognizable to their former selves. i'm not perfect, i've definitely made some very bad mistakes and hurt people in ways i can't and don't want to be forgiven for and have many regrets, but i will never let myself end up like that as long as i have the ability to fight back.
#🐉#lmk if theres any warnings i should tag this with#it doesnt get into specifics but you can probably fill in the subtext
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Thank you for your answer, I get it on some level. I’ve listened to their music for a while now but am new to this whole shipping thing, and it’s a wild ride for sure. Out of interest, which songs do people think are about JM? Apart from their actual song Friends? Why does part of me think that if this is the case maybe Tae needs new inspiration for his work or something. Someone of his own to love. He didn’t write he album though did he? It’s a crazy world out there I guess I didn’t release that a member would fuel the shipping wars, so wow if he does that.
It depends on how delusional one is. Could be a few or all of them if you're deranged 🤷🏾
I like to think of myself as moderately delusional so I stick to the basics.
You can check out his song about writing a letter to the moon which was inspired by a time he was alone in the park with Jimin late into the night
From 4'Oclock.
Other than the setting and moon references, he actually ever did write a letter to Jimin which he cried while reading it to him. He poured out his heart in that letter. Here, read it and cry
And theres one song he complained he wrote with the intention of singing it withJimin but a producer thought putting Jimin on it would be gay due to the lyrics.
Don't want to talk about the others cos it may sound controversial but do have a listen for yourself. And be mindful of the Jimin "symbolisms" or at least I like to call them that.
Whenever he talks about the moon in his songs we make the connection to Jimin- its obvious now due to JMs moon tattoos but there was a time people thought that was reaching.
The moonchild is Jimin. And it's not far fetched cos V is the same person who shared fan art of Jimin with the moon tats that he's currently spotting and all. Meaning he understands the connection between JM and the moon.
This has nothing to do with his songs but he used to complain a lot about a certain member gatekeeping Jimin to himself and not allowing him and Jimin to hang out. So for me when this theme recurrs in his music I feel he's alluding to Jimin cos why not dudes a menace🤣
Let's give Tae some credit. Don't blindly buy into the hateful rhetorics people spew about him.
He exposed the company for dragging their feet before allowing JM to debut. Exposed them for their homophobia towards Jimin. If anyone moves funny with Jimin trust him to expose them one way or the other. I'll actually bet my life on this.
Perhaps you should look into their friendship. V can be chaotic but he's loved Jimin so hard too and when he says he loves Jimin the most I don't think he's lying .
Jimin has a special place in his heart. Perhaps because he says Jimin was the one who showed up and out for him when his granny passed. I think he's going to be eternally grateful to JM for that.
Don't hate on Tae or Judge him based on his quirks. He's not one to fake his feelings so sometimes when he's annoyed with Jimin you can pick up on that energy. It doesn't mean he's evil. He just have bad days too.
Unfortunately the Fandom isn't as forgiving and would tear him apart for the least funny feelings towards Jimin.
They are friends.they are allowed to fight and make up. We shouldn't hold that over their heads when they "fight" argue or have a misunderstanding. Leave them room and space within their friendship to be ghetto with eachother. What matters is the bond they share the growth they experience as friends and how pure they try to be with eachother.
They are a work in progress
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my face when I purposefully go into the Jerma RPF tags and expose myself to the most genuinely deranged sentences/tags that have ever graced that hellsite
#Jerma RPF is 100000x worse than any other RPF I’ve seen to the point where I think anyone who posts in the tag needs to be studied#lee speaks
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ONE MORE DANCE.
PREVIEW
Hyunjin x reader. (s,f)
Synopsis: Successfully sold his painting, Hyunjin fulfilled his promise to spend all of his money on you.
Preview under the cut!
...
"I've seen that one so many times!" You say.
Hyunjin turn around to see the printed poster of the Rococo painting known as The Happy Accidents on The Swing. He sucks air through his teeth and turns you around to look at the poster together. He leans into your ear, then whispers, "it's about sex."
You snort in disbelief, "yeah, right."
Hyunjin flashes you a daring stare, "you don't believe me?"
"How is it about sex? The lady is having fun on a swing," you tell him your simple interpretation of the painting.
He lightly shakes his head at you in disagreement, "for one, that man is looking right up the lady's dress," he says.
Your mouth pursed into a doubting frown, "please, proceed!"
With the chance you've given him, he's more than eager to enlighten you once more.
"The one who's pushing the swing is her husband and he's unaware of the presence of the other man hiding behind the rose bushes, which, in rococo art was a classic symbol of female sexuality," he explains with his hands steadily holding you by the waist.
"The young lover thrusts his cap in the bushes and at the time, a man's cap was often used to conceal an erection."
Your mouth hung open at that bit of information and shot him a glance.
"The lady's shoe has been cast off in her swinging movement and I think you know what exposed ankles got to do with sexual desires at that time, right?"
"Oh, yes, definitely," you shortly reply while nodding.
You suddenly turn around to face him and grab the front of his shirt, "talking about sex..."
His heart pitter-patters just from you mentioning it, oh... the power you have over him.
"You want to do it at the art store? Really?" He teases you.
You burst out laughing, gently pushing him away, "you're deranged!"
He chases you as you walk through the hall of kinds of paintbrushes in different sizes and colors and materials.
"Finish your shopping quickly because we have to go somewhere," you say with a sly grin.
Since you pique his interest, Hyunjin hurriedly picks a few things around the store and paid for everything.
It feels good that he finally gets to pay for his things himself and not only that, he gets to buy you things just like he promised you.
What he doesn't expect is you take him to a lingerie store. He stops you as you're about to push the door of the store.
"I'll just wait outside," he says, refusing to come shopping with you.
You pout at him, "you said you'll spend your money on me."
He takes out his wallet from the back pocket of his jeans and offers it to you, "take it with you," he says.
Instead of taking the wallet, you grab him by the wrist and drag him inside.
There's only another lady looking around the store and another one is the staff working behind the checkout counter, but Hyunjin can tell that his cheeks are heating and reddening.
"What are you so shy about?" You ask with a low laugh.
It's that obvious and Hyunjin gets even more flustered so he keeps his head down low. He knows he's being silly, it's not like he's in there to feed his strange fetish.
"Help me pick!" You link your arm with him, taking him to a section of matching hanged matching underwear in various colors and fabrics.
To be honest, Hyunjin can't pick any because he knows you look way better without them and he likes it that way. But to pass the chance to see you in something like this, not when he has seen how extremely dangerous you can be in them.
There's something he's curious about though, "you're buying some for work?"
You scoff and strongly deny, "no."
He looks at you with a questioning face.
"I'll buy them myself for that," you say as you take an underwear in electric blue color and feel the fabric with your fingertips.
You slip your hand under and rest it on his back, "I make you choose because I'll be wearing them for you," you say with your wide, innocent eyes.
He knows that he shouldn't be performing anything obscene in this very place but knows that you want to wear something of his choosing just to please him, making his blood pump in the direction that he doesn't want it to go. At least, not right now.
He swallows air to calm himself down and focus on the task at hand, his hand awkwardly scanning the selection of matching underwear on a railing.
It's not hard to imagine you wearing them but he gets uneasy with every image flashing through his head, raising the temperature of his body.
He thinks you'll look pretty in white lace but on the other hand, he likes seeing you in red silk fabric. When he thinks about it again, it doesn't matter which one you're wearing as long as he gets to be the one taking them off of you.
"I'm going to try a few of them. Do you mind waiting?" You ask.
He pecks your lips and smiles, "not at all!"
Hyunjin sits on the small round sofa facing the fitting rooms and waits for you while trying on your lingerie picks. He checks his phone for any new emails related to his paintings.
The door of your fitting room creaks open and he glances up to see you pop your head between the door, "baby, can you help me?"
He puts his phone away and comes to your aid, "what happened, beautiful?"
You open the door a little wider for him to get in, "something stuck... my hair..." you answer.
Hyunjin quickly gets in and closes the door behind him after, "let me see!"
The next thing he knows, you pin him against the wall and kiss him hard. It takes him a moment to finally get a grasp of the situation, that you're wearing nothing but your underwear, and your breasts are squashed between your chests.
He slowly pulls away from the kiss to catch a breath, "babe, we're—"
You shut him up with a haste kiss, "shh..." you hushed him, "we're doing a little misdemeanor."
He recognizes this combination of a sly smirk and naughty hands that are going down his body, and he knows how it's going to end: he’ll let you have what you want.
"It's small and tight and hot. It's the perfect place to do it," your lips graze his lips as you speak.
"To do what?"
You seductively giggle, "I'll show you," you say, sinking your mouth in his neck.
Hyunjin gasps as you slip your hand inside his jeans and start touching his clothed cock, getting hard with every gentle stroke.
He's getting a little antsy, afraid that someone would come knocking on the door or worse, barging into the fitting room even though he clearly sees that it's latched.
"Maybe we should—"
You shut him up with another rushed kiss on his lips, then whisper, "be quiet!"
The eyes you're giving me telling him that you're up to no good and he's right, you're going down until you kneel on the floor.
...
Full fic will be posted tomorrow!
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