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mypoisonedvine · 4 years ago

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A Year Gone By | dark!Bucky Barnes x reader

happy birthday @nsfwsebbie!!

it was supposed to be a surprise but then I couldn’t stop myself from telling you I was writing something, I managed to keep most of it under wraps though! I hope the suspense pays off.

idk if it’s weird that i made it a doctor reader when you’re not a doctor but listen...half the fun of reader insert is getting to vicariously live through a cool career right?? the other half of the fun is the obvious thing. and it seemed a little creepy if i made the reader exactly like you but if you want it to be more accurate i will totally write you something with actual you in it lol

ANYWAYS I hope you enjoy it and most of all I hope you have a lovely, relaxing, fun birthday. and i hope it makes you h word lmao. ily darling <3

warnings: noncon, dubcon, stalking/kidnapping, ddlg, loss of virginity, bondage, oral sex (m and f receiving), anal sex, d/s, pet play, degradation, painful sex/pain kink, cockwarming, breeding, somnophilia (slightly), spitting, pregnancy mention, breeding kink, mention of drugging... I think that’s everything.

word count: just over 15.5k (YIIIIKES my bad)

Bucky always looked forward to appointments with you. It wasn’t just because he had a crush on you, honest; you really were the best doctor he ever had. Then again, between chain-smoking Brooklyn doctors who handed out morphine like candy and cruel Nazi or Soviet scientists, you weren’t competing with anybody too incredible.

“It’s not so bad,” he bluffed, but he couldn’t hide the wince when you touched his bruise.

“You’re not a very good liar, Sergeant,” you told him with a smile. God, he loved when you called him that. He hoped his body wouldn’t react to it in any uncomfortably obvious ways. “Honestly, I’m a little worried about the bones. I want to do an X-ray, if you don’t mind.”

“Go ahead,” he shrugged, “but you’re probably worrying too much.”

“You plan to walk off a compound fracture?” you scoffed.

“Bet I could, if you kiss it to make it better,” he smiled. He was expecting you to giggle a little at the casual flirtation, which you did, but he was surprised when you bit your lip at the end of it. That made it impossible to stop his cock from getting a bit interested, but thankfully it was still easy enough to hide. Clearly his casual flirting was starting to get to you, and it made him especially impatient but he tried to stay calm.

“I’m a good doctor, but I’m not that good. A prescription will do more for you,” you replied as you wrote something in his chart-- presumably that he needed to go down the hall for some x-ray work.

“If you say so.”

“Anything else bothering you?” you asked him.

“Oh, no, I won’t waste your time,” he dismissed.

“I’m getting paid, don’t worry,” you laughed. “I don’t have any more appointments until after lunch. Is there anything else going on?”

He shifted a little, the paper on the examination table crinkling as he did it. “Um… it’s nothing, I just--” he glanced up at you but then looked away again, still embarrassed to admit it-- “I’ve had a little trouble sleeping…”

“Nightmares?” you pressed. “Or general insomnia?”

“Um, nightmares,” he finally admitted, “not as bad as normal. The meds helped. Just… I still get them sometimes.”

“How many nights a week would you guess?” you asked. But you didn’t look to his chart like it was a quiz or something, you kept looking at him with patience and compassion. That was what really made his heart melt.

“Probably 2 or 3.”

“So we’re down from 6 to 7,” you remembered from what he’d said before you’d given him the medication he was on now, “that’s good. That’s progress. But, maybe we need to up your dosage if you haven’t seen better results after 4 weeks. You haven’t missed any doses, have you?”

He tried to fight his embarrassed smirk but it was too late.

“Bucky!” you scolded playfully. “I can’t up your dosage until you’re actually being consistent on the amount you already have, okay? I know it can be easy to forget but you have to stay on it. Set a timer on your phone or something if you need to.”

He nodded, but the problem wasn’t forgetting to take them as much as it was being ashamed that he needed them at all. But he’d stay on them if it made you happy.

“Anything else? Headache, twisted ankle, burns when you pee?”

He laughed and shook his head. “No, I think that’s everything.”

“Great, then I’ll let you get to your newly-booked X-ray appointment.” You handed him a sheet of paper for him to take to the X-ray office which informed the nurses there what angles you wanted on his ribs. “Just know that you can call me if you need anything, alright?”

He took the slip of paper but suddenly couldn’t respond, too lost in looking at you and wondering if you’d felt that same jolt of electricity when his hand brushed yours.

“What are you looking at me like that for?” you asked, breaking the silence.

“You take care of so many people,” Bucky pondered aloud, “I just wonder if someone takes care of you.”

He could tell by your face that you didn’t like the way his tone shifted, but he refused to backpedal. Just this once, he wanted to see you squirm a little bit.

“Wanna lollipop?” you asked him nervously as you handed him the plastic-wrapped red sucker in offering, but he waved it away.

He spent the rest of the afternoon thinking about how you would look with the cherry lollipop in your mouth: the way it would push your cheek out from the inside, stain your lips and tongue bright red, make your mouth taste like pure sugar.

Of all the things he’d imagined before, that was the one that made him realize it couldn’t just be a fantasy anymore. Thankfully, he hadn’t just been thinking of all the filthy things he wanted to do to you; he’d also been coming up with a plan.

The first thing you perceived when you woke up was the smell. It didn’t smell like your room. Such a simple difference, one you hadn’t even realized you would notice, but one that stood out instantly.

You opened your eyes and instantly spun your head around when you saw the grey cement room you were in. The bed underneath you creaked, unlike your bed, and you looked down at it as if you somehow expected to be in an unknown room but still be in your own bed.

It was then that you realized you were restrained with, of all things, satiny pink rope which pulled each of your limbs to the nearest bedpost. There was enough slack that you could wiggle around some, but it wasn’t exactly roomy either. Your heart raced as you pondered who could have possibly done this, and why.

You startled when you heard the door open, but relaxed when the menacing form suddenly struck you as familiar.

“Bucky,” you sighed with relief, “oh thank god you’re here-- quick, help untie me.”

As soon as you said it, though, you realized something wasn’t right. He didn’t look concerned at all, or confused. And that should be a good thing because it meant he had answers, except that you were suddenly realizing this was more complex than you were prepared for.

“Bucky… where are we?” you asked him, quieter, as you realized that he was not going to untie you immediately. Even still you were coming to terms with the possibility that it wasn’t really a matter of where we were and where, specifically, you were.

“Somewhere safe,” he answered simply, stepping closer.

You didn’t exactly believe that.

“Please, help untie me,” you requested again.

“I will,” he assured, “but I want to explain something first.”

Your heart sank straight through your stomach. You didn’t understand what was going on quite yet, but you were getting the gist enough to know that this was really fucking bad.

“Bucky,” you pleaded as he sat down beside you on the bed, “please let me go.” You felt very aware of how thin your pajama set was, how if he tried hard enough he could see your nipples hardening underneath your top for no apparent reason.

“Don’t get upset,” he soothed, “everything’s fine. I’m not going to hurt you-- nobody will anymore. You’re gonna stay here, with me, and I’m gonna take care of you.”

Your eyes burned with tears you couldn’t fight anymore. “Don’t do this,” you begged, “I’m your friend-- we’re friends, remember?”

“Of course I know that,” he sighed, “but that’s not enough. Couldn’t you tell I’d fallen in love with you?”

You shook your head, trying to process everything you were hearing. “This is insane. This is not what you do when you have feelings for somebody, Bucky.”

“What, you’re saying I should’ve just asked you out?”

“Well, I wouldn’t have been able to say yes-- because you’re my patient--”

“See? That’s what the ropes are for!” he smiled, like he was actually proud of his problem-solving skills. “You would’ve said yes if you could, I know. But you couldn’t. And now you don’t have to.”

You resented that he was right, that you would’ve dated him in a heartbeat if it wasn’t an ethical violation. You got the sense there were going to be even more severe ethical violations in your future, though.

You continued to beg him to stop, but it fell on deaf ears as he reached under the elastic waistband of your pajama shorts and pulled them down slowly. He gasped when he saw your pussy and you wished you could just disappear, turn invisible or, best of all, teleport out of here; anything to avoid this humiliation.

“Baby, you’re wet,” he observed. You weren’t sure if the first or second half of the sentence made you more uncomfortable, but either way, you couldn’t stop the shivers from dancing up your spine. “This all for me? Do you like being tied up?”

You refused to answer, looking to the side as if the concrete wall was suddenly fascinating to you, but he grabbed your jaw and turned you to look at him.

“I know you don’t know all the rules yet, but here’s the first one, and maybe the most important: answer me when I speak to you.”

It was cold but not quite threatening; still scared you senseless, though. You nodded.

“Do you like being tied up?” he repeated.

“N-no,” you answered.

“Answer honestly,” he specified.

You had, but you realized it was going to be safer to do what he wanted, so you cleared your throat and spoke again.

“Yes,” you whispered, “I like… being tied up.”

“That’s it?” he pressed. “It’s not me being here, is it? You never got wet when you saw me in appointments?”

This was going to be a lot harder than you anticipated. It seemed like there was no right answer.

“Didja ever get wet for somebody else? It was Steve, wasn’t it?”

“No!” you instinctively answered. “Um, I like Steve. But just as a friend.”

“Aw,” he smiled, “I knew you were the loyal type. Remember just a minute ago when you were begging me to stop cause you were my friend? I think you were lying then too, doll. You didn’t want to be just friends with me.”

“Whatever you’re going to do, just do it,” you grimaced. “I’m getting irritated.”

You yelped when he slapped the inside of your thigh, trying to pull away but only making it easier for him to dip under your leg so that he was between them, sitting back on the bed in front of you.

“Respect gets you a long way with me,” he promised, pulling a knife from a strap on his thigh and using it to quickly cut off the shorts. “Sass does not.”

You winced as he slipped a finger into you-- metal, and it was cold, too. Soothed the burn a bit, at least.

“Oh god,” he sighed, “just one finger and it barely fits…” You watched realization pass over his face as his gaze moved to your eyes. “Baby, are you a virgin?”

You closed your eyes because you knew they would reveal the truth. In all honesty it was probably better that he knew so there was at least some chance of him going easy on you, and yet you were still embarrassed for him to find out.

“Oh, you’re going to spoil me,” he grinned. “You really are too good to be true.”

A second finger pushed into you and a bite to the lip suppressed your moan.

“I’ll warm you up first, don’t worry,” he cooed. “I don’t wanna hurt you.”

“Then why did you tie me up?”

“That’s for your safety, baby. I don’t wanna have to hurt you,” he clarified.

A third finger, immediately after you had adjusted to the second. You had never had so much inside you before and it made you feel a bit dizzy. His thumb grazed over your clit and you nearly jumped right off the bed as your hips bucked suddenly-- since when were you so sensitive?!

“Oh, poor little baby, you need it so bad,” he faux-pouted. You couldn’t tell if it was a mockery or genuine concern. “You’ll get it angel, don’t worry. Daddy’s gonna take care of you.”

That word made you feel a little sick. No wonder he needed to kidnap girls to get his rocks off, clearly this was the kind of stuff a normal date wouldn’t agree to.

Then again, it was Bucky Barnes. He could probably get any girl he wanted, even if he had some weird tastes. You still didn’t understand why it had to be you, specifically.

His thumb stayed on your clit, the pressure moving from teasing to firm to nearly too much. You tried to angle your hips away but the ropes stopped you (of course), and you were forced to take every sensation he gave you.

“You’re trying so hard to stay quiet, just let go,” he encouraged. “I wanna hear how good I make you feel.”

“Maybe I’m just naturally quiet,” you bluffed, but even just those few words were strained, and surrounded by panting as you failed to catch your breath.

“Oh, we both know that’s not true. I’ve heard you when you thought you were alone, doll.”

You knew what he must have meant, but it still made you whimper when he leaned in to whisper in your ear: “I heard you touching yourself.”

Your face was burning and you were sure you’d never blushed so hard in your life. You couldn’t be sure how much he’d heard, but just the way he smiled down at you made you sure he must have heard the times that his name passed your lips as you reached your peak.

Of course he couldn’t just let you stew in that, he had to mock you even further.

“Oh Bucky,” he recalled, raising the pitch of his voice a little, “please let me come, I’m so close, please…”

“Stop,” you begged, tears sliding down your temples. The fingers twisted inside you as both of you groaned.

“Yeah, it’s not a very good impression,” he sighed, “it’ll sound better when you do it. Don’t you wanna moan for me again?”

“You stalked me,” you realized aloud, “you spied on me at night, you kidnapped me--”

“And now we’re both getting what we want. I know you wished it was my fingers instead of yours. Doesn’t it feel good baby? Admit it. Tell me it feels good.”

You were determined to resist until he pulled his fingers out and used the metal hand to slap your pussy, both of you gasping at the wet noise it made. He did it again and your hips bucked wildly even as you were trying with everything in you not to react. One more and you finally moaned, the pain brief but strong while the pleasure never seemed to lessen.

“Just be honest,” he demanded, “I know you love it. I just need you to say it.”

One more spank and you were finally willing to cut your losses. “It feels good!” you exclaimed. You cried out when he hit you again, not having seen it coming at all since you’d done as he asked. “Say it again.”

“It feels good, Bucky, your fingers feel good,” you whimpered.

He finally seemed to calm down, giving you an oddly friendly smile. “Was that so hard?”

You shook your head, just trying to appreciate the stillness while you could.

“One little thing though: you don’t call me Bucky anymore. My friends call me Bucky; you’re so much more special than that. You’re my perfect little angel, and you call me Daddy.”

You saw it coming, but it didn’t make it any less awful. You squirmed a bit as he pushed up your top, biting his lip when he got a glimpse of your breasts.

“Oh, when did these get hard, huh?” he smiled as he tweaked your nipples between his fingers.

“It’s… cold in here,” you explained uncomfortably.

“Uh huh,” he pretended to believe you. “Don’t worry, we’ll find a way to warm you up.”

He let go of your tits so he could pull back and start undoing his belt; you swallowed dryly, not wanting to watch but unable to look away.

Of course he was big. It explained his personality, and you’d had your suspicions (and/or fantasies), but now all it did was scare you.

“Will it hurt?” you asked weakly. He smiled as he pulled off his shirt from behind his neck, tossing it aside.

“No baby, I stretched you with my fingers so you can take me. Might be a little bit of an adjustment at first, but we’ll go slow, okay?”

You couldn’t decide if it was sweet or patronizing. A little of both, perhaps.

He leaned over you, resting one hand beside your head as the other guided his cock to rub through your folds. You struggled again, barely able to process that this was actually going to happen, that you were going to lose your virginity tied up in some creepy sex dungeon to an obsessive patient who demanded you call him ‘Daddy.’ This wasn’t exactly the situation you had been saving it for.

“Ready for me, baby? Want me to make you mine?” he asked with a look of excitement, even vulnerability. Your body craved more after he’d left you dangling on the edge from his fingering, but your brain was thankfully still functioning properly.

“Please don’t,” you whimpered, “you can stop now, and I won’t tell anyone, and--”

“Baby, don’t talk like that,” he frowned. “This is it, okay? Us. Just us. Nobody else to get in the way. You’re not gonna tell anyone ‘cause there’s no one to tell.”

“You can’t,” you denied, “I have a life-- people who care about me, who are going to notice that I’m gone--”

“No, babygirl, stop-- you’re not listening to me,” he growled. “Stop fighting. You’re mine. You’re finally where you belong.”

“This is crazy,” you spat, “you’re crazy!”

“Baby…” he looked dejected, crestfallen. “You’re the only one who’s ever helped me feel normal again. If I’m crazy it’s only because I love you so much; I need you, doll.”

“You need intensive psychiatric care!”

Sadness shifted to anger as he sat back and stuffed his cock back into his trousers, even though it barely fit now that it was fully hard and leaking from the tip.

“I realize now I’ve given you more than you can handle. I knew you liked me back so I figured you would understand a little sooner but… I should’ve known you need more time before you really admit to yourself that you need someone to take care of you.”

Your relief shifted to fear when he stood back up off the bed and stepped away.

“Wait, don’t leave me here,” you squeaked, “untie me, please.”

Instead he knelt down and pulled a box out from under the bed. You couldn’t see what was inside when he opened it, but he seemed to find what he was looking for when he pulled out a vibrator and shut the lid. It was thin and a little curved, so when he roughly shoved it into you it hit right on your g-spot. You tried to squirm away but he held your hips down and turned it on to a setting that strobed the vibrations, teasing your spot but never giving you enough to get very far.

“I’ll come back when I think you’ve learned your lesson,” he informed you quickly as he started to leave the room.

“Bucky-- Bucky wait!” you called after him. “There’s no food or water you can’t leave me here wait don’t go BUCKY!”

But he was long gone. The door slammed behind him and echoed around the room; only when the sound was completely dead were you sure that he wasn’t coming back any time soon.

You had no way of knowing how much time had passed, but it felt like an eternity of you wiggling against the ropes, trying to either knock the vibrator out of you somehow or get it to move enough that you could at least come and feel some relief. Trying to push it out with your muscles was useless since the curved shape kept it inside of you, and you couldn’t arch your back enough to press it into the bed-- and if you could, you weren’t sure what good that would do.

Every once in a while the vibration would echo through your clit and it made your eyes water. You sobbed and bit your lip, hoping he would come back soon.

It was at least twice as long before he did, and at that point your voice had gone hoarse from calling out to him. You cried out for Bucky at least a hundred times and got nothing; but when you called for ‘Daddy’ just once, he suddenly appeared.

Somehow his return didn’t bring much relief, because you weren’t exactly safe with him around… but at least you weren’t alone.

He reached between your legs and turned the vibrator off, though he left it inside of you. You took a deep breath and appreciated the stillness, though your body panged with hunger from so much pleasure with no release.

“I hated doing that to you,” he breathed deeply as he sat beside you on the bed, “but it had to be done. You were behaving so poorly. I’ve gone easy on you up until now but I can’t tolerate any more rebelliousness, alright?”

You nodded slowly, feeling the weight of his disappointment sink over you.

When he pulled out the vibrator, the tip of it grazed over your abused and sensitive g-spot and you bit back a groan. He set it aside and admired the mess you’d made; you couldn’t see it, of course, but you could tell that there was a wet patch of arousal beneath you on the sheets.

“Your body is ready for me, but I’m not sure your mind is right yet,” he explained, steely gaze finally meeting yours. “Are you going to be good, little girl?”

You were too exhausted to notice the nickname, or even to speak your reply. You just nodded again, watching him as he started unlacing his boots and slipped them off, then took his socks, trousers, and underwear off along with them.

Shit, you’d nearly forgotten how big he was. You swallowed with a dry throat and closed your eyes, just hoping it would be over with quickly.

“Open your eyes babygirl, I wanna look at you,” he murmured, running a finger across your cheek. You reluctantly obeyed and saw him hovering above you. He pressed a gentle kiss to your lips and it felt so wrong, so empty and peculiar. It was a weak facsimile of what a kiss was supposed to be like. He closed his eyes and ran his fingers into your hair, and it had all the trappings of the kind of kiss you’d share as a goodbye after a first or second date, but without any of the stuff that mattered like positive feelings or consent or not being in a creepy cement sex dungeon-- or whatever this was supposed to be.

He pulled away and looked down at you again, anger just starting to brew in his eyes. “Kiss me back,” he demanded. This time when he pressed his lips to yours, his tongue slid between them and it made you feel a little sick but you did your best to reciprocate. You found yourself trying to reach up to put your hands on his hair or neck but of course, the ropes made it impossible.

You felt his cock pressing between your thighs, rubbing up and down slowly, and your heart began to race. One hand slid between your bodies to guide his cock towards your entrance and he said something but you couldn’t hear it because your ears were ringing.

As soon as he pushed into you, your body jolted, trying to squirm away, but he just kept going, sliding into you in one long stroke.

Physically, it wasn’t painful. The vibrator had helped relax your walls, even numbed them a little bit. And yet, even without pain it was so much. You felt like the wind had been knocked out of you, like you were so full you couldn’t even breathe.

When he was fully seated inside you, Bucky moaned deeply, kissing your neck and mumbling something about how perfect you were. But all you could focus on was his cock pulling back only to slam home again.

“Fuck!” you yelped. You had no idea anything could be so deep inside you.

“Watch your language, angel,” he purred, biting at your earlobe. “You promised to be good, remember?”

The hand that had been gripping your thigh suddenly moved to rub your clit and you choked on a moan.

“It’s okay, it’s supposed to feel good,” he encouraged. “It’s okay to come, baby. I know how bad you wanna come for me.”

You were embarrassingly close as he had observed, a side effect of having been left on the edge for so long. You could feel your walls rippling around him, and you wondered if he could feel it, too. Every thrust stroked parts of you that you hadn’t even realized existed, and when he pushed as deep as he could into you, the tip of his cock hit something so sensitive that you genuinely couldn’t tell if it was painful or pleasurable.

“Are you close? I don’t know how much longer I can last, you’re so tight,” he groaned. “Fuck, you want me to fill you up don’t you? Wanna be full of Daddy’s cum?”

Before you could even consider ignoring his question, he wrapped his left hand around your neck.

“Yes, Daddy,” you croaked through the weight on your windpipe, “fill me up, please.”

Talking like that made your heart twist with shame but somehow pushed you even closer to your peak. You knew he could tell that you were turned on by it from the way your muscles tightened around him.

“I will baby, I promise,” he smiled. “Do you wanna beg to come, like you did when you were by yourself?”

You moaned because it was like a fantasy come true, in a monkey’s paw sort of way. This is what you had wanted, right? Just… in a way completely different from how it was turning out?

“Daddy, please,” you answered, so quiet and heavy with embarrassment that it was barely above a whisper, “please let me come.”

“Oh fuck,” he responded hoarsely as his thrusts came faster, more ragged. “Come, princess. I wantcha to scream for me.”

As you started to fall over the edge, you felt like you had lost control over your body; your arms and legs tugged at the ropes as jolts of pleasure coursed through them, and your mouth was spilling moans and whimpers and even his name. His real name, specifically, though he thankfully didn’t seem to mind. He kissed you again as he came, moaning into your lips and still inside you.

You felt cold and sticky and humiliated as he sat up and pulled out, admiring the way your hole leaked out his seed and flexed involuntarily around nothing.

“Oh look at you,” he praised, “my perfect little girl. You’re even more amazing than I dreamed, doll.”

You tried not to listen or watch him as he got off the bed, coming back with boxers on and a damp washcloth to clean you.

“I’m gonna untie you now, okay? Promise you won’t kick me or anything?”

You quickly nodded, willing to promise anything if it meant getting untied. “You’ll just do more harm to you than to me if you try anything, angel,” he reminded you quickly as he started work on your right ankle. The ropes were silky so they hadn’t been rubbing your skin too raw, but there was still soreness from the tight knots. You were a bit surprised when he gave your ankle and foot a brief massage once he was done untying the rope, and did the same to your other foot, and then your wrists and hands. It helped a lot with getting the blood flow back to normal, and you almost considered thanking him but that would’ve been ridiculous. ‘Hey, thanks for the foot massage, next time don’t tie me up and rape me first but, otherwise 10/10.’

Bucky was so impressed with the progress you’d made in a week. Only two escape attempts and you’d taken your punishment quite well both times. He had expected a rocky start, he’d understood what he was getting himself into, so none of it really came as a surprise. You’d managed to get a good crack at his nose once, kicking him straight between the eyes before making a run for it. Yes, it hurt like a bitch and took a few days to heal, but it had actually been a blessing in disguise; that day you’d made it out the front door and realized that you were in the middle of nowhere. When he’d caught up to you, you were standing barefoot and half-naked in the snow, not even running anymore because, apparently, you’d realized there was nowhere to run to.

“I built this place for us, for you,” he explained. “Somewhere far away, all to ourselves. Nobody for miles.”

“How many miles?”

He chuckled a bit to himself. “Baby, it’s a really big number. You’re too little to understand.”

Normally you resisted that sort of talk but this time it shut you up. Hopefully you were beginning to properly realize that this was your new life.

“Are we in New York?” you asked, quieter.

“I’m not sure if I should tell you that yet. I don’t want you to get any complicated ideas in that pretty little head,” he cooed, kissing your forehead for emphasis before leaving you behind to start cooking dinner.

“I’m not eating with these,” you announced firmly as he set your place at the table with a set of pink, rubber-coated utensils.

“It’s too messy to eat with your hands,” he frowned.

“Do you honestly not realize that I want to eat with normal utensils? Or are you just trying to drive me insane?”

Bucky set your plate down a little too firmly, making you and the food on top jump. “Don’t talk back to me.”

“I just… it’ll take me forever to finish an adult-sized portion of food with child-sized utensils.”

“Then maybe you’re not ready for an adult-sized portion,” he threatened. That seemed to get your attention, but you stayed quiet. “Maybe you’re not hungry at all?”

“I’m hungry,” you denied. “Please, I want to eat.”

“And I want to eat with you. But this roundabout is getting on my last nerve, doll. Now are you gonna be good and eat your dinner?”

“...yes, Daddy,” you sighed. He smiled and sat down across from you. You were learning. Slowly, but surely.

Bath time was always a fight, though. You still had some ridiculous notions about ‘privacy’ and ‘autonomy’ and crap like that, and it meant that you were likely to act up and refuse to be washed.

“I can do it myself!”

“But you don’t have to, don’t you see?”

“I want to.”

“The world doesn’t revolve around what you want, angel.”

“Let me guess: it revolves around what you want?” “No,” Bucky shook his head and tried to summon some more patience, “I have to take care of you. Sometimes that means doing things you don’t like, because I know what’s best for you.”

“I hate you,” you mumbled as you turned away, and that really broke his heart. He knew you didn’t really mean it, but it still hurt.

“Baby… don’t say that,” he pleaded as he turned your face to him. “It hurts Daddy’s feelings when you say things like that.”

“Yes, that was the idea,” you hissed. “I just want to take a shower, alone.”

“Any chance you had at that is long gone,” he grimaced. “What you’re getting is a bath, with me, and if you quit this attitude now you might still be able to avoid getting a spanking as well, do you understand?”

Your shoulders slumped as you nodded. He knew your poor little bottom was still sore from the last spanking, and as he helped you undress for the bath, he could still see a few welts along the skin. He kissed them quickly, a reminder to both of you what he was capable of, before helping you into the water and slipping in behind you. It was spacious, so there was ample room for the two of you, but he still held you close and pressed your back into his chest.

He had a lot of ideas about what you two could do in this bath, but he knew that now was not the time. Still, he let his mind wander and smiled to himself when you gasped from his erection pressing into your thigh.

He helped you wash your hair, and for that moment where your head was nearly submerged and he was using his fingers to massage out the shampoo, you looked so peaceful. He normally only got to appreciate this look on your face as you slept, but you were almost smiling this time, and it made his heart sing. A week of tantrums was worth it for just a few quiet moments like this.

“I’m gonna let you finish up on your own, okay? I trust you not to do anything dangerous…” he decided as he stepped out.

“Really?” your face instantly lit up. Sure, you’re never supposed to leave them alone in the bath, but he was feeling extra generous and he sympathized with your desire for control. Freedom could be good for you, in moderation.

“Of course.”

“T-thank you, Daddy,” you awkwardly responded.

He dried off and dressed, and waited nearby in the living room, listening to you drain the bathwater and start a shower.

You emerged wrapped in a towel and looking slightly lost.

"Honey, where are your clothes?" he asked you with a furrowed brow.

“I don’t have anything to wear,” you informed him. Oh, right. You were being resistant to wearing the clothes he had picked out for you. Apparently you found the overwhelming presence of baby pink to be tacky, and you hated that everything was cute and tiny… he couldn't understand seeing something cute and tiny and not liking it. After all, you were the most adorable thing he'd laid eyes on and it made it impossible not to like you. You just needed clothes to match.

“I have clothes laid out for you,” he explained.

“I’d rather be naked than wear what you pick for me,” you snarled.

“Hey, I wouldn’t complain,” he shrugged, trying to suppress his frustration. “Don’t come bitchin’ to me when you’re cold, though.”

You sat next to him on the couch, defiantly naked and confidently ignoring him. He admired your stubbornness, or at least he found it amusing.

“Do you wanna watch a movie now?” he asked, but he knew you had figured out that this was a mandatory activity.

“Don’t see any reason to wait,” you smiled sarcastically.

Of course, when he got up to show you some DVDs so you could pick what you wanted (Wall-E; he knew you didn’t actually want to watch that since your typical fare was horror and action movies, but it was your favorite of the options), he quickly turned down the thermostat. Perhaps a comfortable 55 Fahrenheit would help you remember why it’s important to take what Daddy gives you.

He hadn’t seen Wall-E before but he found it oddly relatable. A robot, built for someone else’s purpose, abandoned in a filthy, empty world… it brought back some old feelings that he managed to press back down.

Regardless, he was distracted from it when he could literally feel you shivering from across the couch.

“Are you cold, darling?” he asked presumptuously.

“No,” you denied, barely managing to suppress the chattering of your teeth.

“Do you want the clothes?”

“Shut up.”

He just laughed a little to himself, ignoring your rude language and turning back to the TV.

It did kill him a bit to have to pretend he didn’t care when you were obviously uncomfortable, but you would’ve been even more irritated with him if he’d held you down and forced you to put the outfit on.

This fucker was smart, you’d give him that. Or maybe it was just that you were stupid. Not stupid, really, but having no sense of self-preservation. Why had you chosen this hill to die on? You couldn’t even remember why you’d put up a fight at all. You were so cold that you couldn’t even understand what could’ve ever compelled you to reject an offer of clothes. Didn’t help that you knew he was so close, that if you cuddled up to him you would be warm, but that it would mean the loss of your last shred of dignity.

Only a week and you were starting to completely lose your sense of yourself. You searched within and couldn’t find any of the fight you’d had so many times before. You remembered that time you kicked him right in the face, and where you once found pride at the memory, you found guilt. You felt guilty for hurting him, after everything he’d done to you-- why?

“B-bucky…” you finally relented not even an hour into the movie, stammering from the force of your shivers.

“Hm?”

“I want… I want the c-clothes.”

He smiled a little, in an insulting way. “Ask nicely, doll.”

“P-please, Daddy,” you whimpered.

He came back with the clothes in hand, but when you reached out for them, he shook his head and motioned for you to stand up. You sighed but obeyed, your entire body shaking with violent shivers as your bare feet hit the cool concrete floor.

He knelt down, holding the lace panties open for you as you shyly stepped into them. He pulled them up to your hips and let the elastic slap your skin a little as he let go, making you jump. He did the same with the fuzzy pink pyjama pants, running his hands over soft fabric for just a second as he stood up, helping you into the loose grey sweatshirt. It was the least feminine thing he’d ever let you wear, noticeably absent in anything pink or fuzzy or girly or adorned with bows. You only realized as it slipped over your head that it was his, because once you plunged into darkness inside of it, you were overwhelmed with the smell of him. You wouldn’t have known that you could recognize his smell, but now that you were in it, it was undeniable.

You were almost surprised to see him when your head popped through the neckline, somehow. It’s not as if you had forgotten he was there in the three seconds you couldn’t see him, just that he looked so different to you now. He had this stoic, nearly stern look on his face as he helped you get your hands through the sleeves, and the way he caressed your fingers as they emerged from the cotton was so upsettingly tender.

“Daddy…” you mumbled, and he looked back at your face.

“Is this better? Are you warmer?”

“My feet…” you realized, looking down at them.

“I’ll get you some socks, baby,” he nodded, dashing away for a moment. You felt colder with him gone. It couldn’t be loneliness, could it? Even knowing he’d only be gone less than a minute, you were unduly anxious for his return.

He came back and held your feet up by the ankle one at a time as he rolled pink fuzzy socks-- with lace at the ankle, of course-- over your feet. You wiggled your toes into them, finally feeling like you’d be able to get warm again.

“Let’s finish the movie, okay?” he suggested, rubbing his hands on your arms. You nodded, allowing him to guide you back to the couch and finding yourself cuddling into his side as he laid an arm over your shoulders.

You barely managed to pay attention as you felt his hand slip lower, resting on your waist. Then your hip, then your thigh.

Something about the way the lace panties rubbed against your pussy made you feel so oddly sensitive, and even the inside of his sweatshirt was just rough enough to make your nipples react every time you adjusted your position.

You figured he realized your condition pretty quickly, but he didn’t react until a moan, so quiet that you were sure he wouldn’t hear it, passed your lips.

“Everything alright, doll?” he asked, failing to hide the fact that he clearly knew the answer.

You didn’t respond, distracted by his other hand reaching over and stroking your thigh. You were caged in his embrace now, and your heart raced in a way that was oddly lacking in fear.

“Tell me what you’re feeling,” he demanded, watching your nervous reaction to his intensity.

“Daddy I… I feel tingly,” you murmured, feeling yourself blush.

“Where, baby?”

“D-down there,” you admitted as you forced your eyes shut, too embarrassed to look him in the face as you said it.

“You need Daddy’s help?”

“Please,” you whispered, hating yourself a little for needing him but too desperate to really care.

In one motion he’d already turned the TV off, pulled you onto his lap, and started kissing where the baggy neckline of the sweatshirt exposed your collarbone.

You were rubbing yourself on his thigh and you didn’t even know how to stop. It felt so good. It made your skin warm up even faster as you recovered from the cold.

He slipped his right hand into your pants as the other pulled you closer until your face was buried in his neck. If there was anything worth appreciating about Bucky, it was how good he was with his fingers. He knew your body better than you did at this point-- but then again, he had spent so much time exploring it in one week that he was probably competing with you already in terms of practice time.

“Oh my god,” you moaned as his fingers moved faster and firmer, making your hips jerk forward unexpectedly.

“It feels good?” he asked in that way that made it obvious he knew the answer.

“Yes, Daddy, it feels so good,” you whimpered. You’d gotten pretty good by now at appeasing him by performing the role he wanted you to play… so good, in fact, that it was starting to feel very real.

Just as you were grabbing onto his shoulders to hold you steady through your orgasm, he was pulling out his hand and reaching for his own pants instead.

“Need to be inside you,” he explained quickly as he pushed them down and revealed his hard, leaking cock. “I need to be inside you when I make you come.”

He helped you slide off your pants and underwear but pulled you back into his lap the absolute second they were discarded. He slid you down onto his cock with a groan, and your face was so hot as you processed how wet you were, how easily he entered you. Your joy halted, though, when he held your hips down. You tried to wiggle around for some friction but he was so strong that it was a complete waste.

“Daddy,” you mumbled with confusion, “what are you doing?”

“You’re mine, baby, ‘m gonna use you how I please,” he reminded you darkly, “and right now I want you to stay still and wait.”

“But--”

He slapped your ass harshly, and you whimpered but decided not to put up much more of a fight.

All the while as you tried to stay still, he was kissing your neck and jaw and cheeks, murmuring praises and leaving the softest bite marks every once in a while.

“Please let me move,” you sobbed against his shoulder, having to fight everything in you not to start grinding on him like your life depended on it.

“I’m not ready yet,” he denied.

“I’ll be good, I promise,” you whimpered. “I’ll do anything. I just need to come, and I need to make you come, please…”

With a hand on either side of your hips, he started to move you on top of him, excruciatingly slow. Your head fell back from how wonderful just that felt.

“Anything? You’re gonna spoil me talking like that, doll.”

“Oh god, anything, just move a little faster, please,” you begged. Of course you knew it was a bad idea, and you figured you were going to regret saying it, but your need was surpassing your sanity at the moment.

He grabbed your face and pulled you down until your lips were almost brushing his, but not quite. “Keep riding my cock, babygirl.” You nodded, finally free to pick up the pace to where you wanted it, and you bit your lip as his cock stretched you exactly how you needed it to.

“Daddy, you feel so good inside me,” you moaned.

“I can tell,” he smiled, “you’re making those perfect noises, it’s killing me not to flip you over and fuck you so hard right now.”

You were much more inspired by that mental image than you expected to be. Those few times he’d gotten really rough with you, it had made you so wet you thought you might get dehydrated.

When he spoke again, his voice was so low that it sounded like a growl, echoing in his chest and making shivers run up your spine. “I know what I want you to do for me.”

You swallowed and braced yourself as he pulled you even closer, looking right into your eyes.

“Tell me you love me,” he demanded.

You gasped, tears starting to burn at the back of your eyes. It was the last thing you expected, but it also tracked. Of course that was what he wanted. But now that you were trying to form words and nothing would come out, you were kind of wishing he’d just said he wanted anal.

“D-daddy,” you stammered, distracted by him grabbing your hips and moving you even faster on top of him. He was practically throwing you up and down on top of him, and somehow doing it effortlessly.

“Just say it,” he whispered.

“I love you,” you whispered back. He smiled and pulled you into a deep kiss, swallowing every moan as you felt yourself barrelling towards your peak.

“Please, I’m about to come-- can I come, Daddy?”

“Almost,” he nodded, “say it again, babygirl.”

“I love you,” you panted, “Daddy, I love you, please--”

“One more time,” he grunted, watching your face.

“I love you!” you yelped, unable to hold back your orgasm any longer and feeling your walls flutter as sensation washed over you. Thankfully he wasn’t far behind, only thrusting up into you a few more times before he spilled himself with a groan.

He kissed you long and slow, staying inside you even as his cock began to soften a little. When he pulled away, he looked up at you with an expression that brimmed with restrained excitement.

“Oh, doll, you have no idea how good it is to finally hear you say that,” he beamed. “We’re gonna be so happy here together… just me and my best girl, right?”

“Right,” you smiled, but as soon as you blinked a tear was rolling down your cheek. He wiped it away with his thumb.

“Don’t cry,” he soothed, “everything’s finally the way it’s supposed to be. You’re finally where you belong, with me.”

You nodded weakly and felt whatever grip you had on your sanity loosening. Dreams of escape faded as he carried you to bed, holding you in his arms all night long. You were beginning to embrace the simplicity of just letting life happen to you. For every time you felt belittled and patronized by his coddling, there was another time that you secretly felt protected and loved. The truth was, even though you had experienced so much that you couldn’t begin to describe in the past week, you had been relieved of so much of the stress you dealt with before. As you drifted to sleep, you only hoped that you could manage to hide that truth from yourself just a little bit longer.

He was honestly proud of himself for managing to keep his hands off you while you slept all this time. But it wasn’t too much longer before you woke him up with your stirring. At first he was just going to give you a quick hug and then get back to sleep, but then as he pulled you closer, he realized you were dreaming. And when you moaned quietly in your sleep, he realized it wasn’t just any dream.

He smiled to himself as he kissed your neck gently, wondering if you would wake up or not. It was sort of a win-win either way for him. He let his hands slide down your body, listening to your breathing as it began to pick up. Your mouth fell open and it made your sounds even more apparent as he carefully opened your legs.

“Oh baby, you’re drenched,” he murmured to no one in particular, admiring the way your pussy glistened in the low light of the room. This was one of those times that he really appreciated his choice to make you sleep naked almost every night.

One metal finger sliding through your folds made you shiver. He wondered if it was from arousal or if the metal felt cold on your warm skin. Your clit was swollen, and apparently extra sensitive from the way your sleeping body erupted in goosebumps when he drew lazy circles around it.

Suddenly lacking in the patience more foreplay would require, he found himself shoving down his boxers and stroking his cock, preparing to push into you. If that didn’t wake you up, he’d be slightly concerned… but he wasn’t sure if he’d be concerned enough to stop fucking you. Thankfully he didn’t have to face that dilemma because the second he was pressing his head into your opening, your eyes flew open.

“Daddy!” you yelped, your voice sounding a little strange as you were torn from your sleep.

He bottomed out and groaned softly, relishing how tightly you wrapped around him. “You looked so beautiful, baby, I couldn’t help myself.”

You mewled but said nothing, only wrapping your hands around his biceps as he pulled back to thrust into you again.

“What were you dreaming about?” he asked firmly.

“N-nobody-- I mean, uh, nothing,” you stumbled over your words.

“Oh, you can’t lie to me very well can you? It’s okay doll, you can tell me, but if it’s someone other than me I’m probably gonna kill him.”

He felt you tense up a little and he knew he’d scared you. He sort of wanted to do it again, because he loved the way your cunt tightened in that moment, but he decided against it.

“Aw, I’m just joking,” he dismissed, though he wasn’t quite sure if he actually was or not. “Go ahead, tell me what you were dreaming.”

“Y-you were there,” you explained, “but it wasn’t just you.”

“Is that so?”

“Um, yeah,” you deflected nervously.

“Go ahead, spit it out,” he hissed as he started to thrust into you a bit harder.

“Well, uh, Steve was there too,” you finally admitted. A lot of emotions hit him at once when he heard you say that. Of course jealousy was prominent, but it was different than it would’ve been before... you were home now, and nobody could take you away. Both of you knew that. So it might have been a slight blow to the ego, but he didn’t see Steve as a threat. What he did see was an opportunity to make you squirm, which he was always looking for.

“Was he watching us?” Bucky pressed.

“Uh, sort of…” you trailed off.

He leaned down, putting his lips right against your ear. “Was he fucking you?”

You whimpered but he could tell you were turned on. He reached down and roughly rubbed at your clit. “Be honest, darling.”

“He wasn’t,” you explained, “you were; you said he wasn’t allowed to… but I gave him a-- a blowjob.”

As much as Bucky wasn’t exactly the sharing type, he was intrigued by the mental image of you stuffed with cock at both ends like that. Even more so he was intrigued by the fact that it apparently turned you on.

“Is that what you want, huh? One cock isn’t good enough for you? Who knew you were such a fucking slut.”

“‘M not!” you denied.

“Then why are you soaked from dreaming about choking on somebody else’s cock while I fuck you, huh?”

“I didn’t mean to!”

“And how did you feel when I told Stevie he wasn’t allowed to fuck you? Even in your sleep you know your Daddy owns you. That this is my hole and I decide everything that happens to it.”

You moaned so loud that he was afraid he would come right then and there. You sounded like heaven. He thrust into you as hard and deep as he could, slamming into your cervix and hitting your clit with his pelvis with each brutal motion. You cried out and dug your nails into his skin.

“Fuck, you like it rough don’t you? Of course you do. ‘Cause you’re Daddy’s needy little whore.”

“Yes, I’m close!” you yelped.

“Doesn’t matter, I’m not gonna let you come until you beg for it. Seems like you need to remember that I’m the only one for you.”

“Just you, Daddy, I only want you!” you reassured, but he wasn’t buying it.

“I’d die before I let you get on your knees for another man, do you believe me babygirl?”

“Yes, I know Daddy, I’m yours, there’s nobody else.”

“If you wanna come you better start askin’ really nice,” he growled.

“Please, Daddy, I want you to make me come! It feels so good, please…”

“Keep going.”

“You’re amazing, your cock feels amazing, I wanna come for you so bad--”

“Fuck, baby, beg me to use you.”

He knew you were flustered by that.

“I-- I don’t know how,” you protested.

“Oh come on, you’re dumb but you’re not that dumb,” he grinned. “Just how I said it.”

“Use me,” you murmured in defeat, “please.”

“That’s it,” he praised, “just like that-- come for me, doll.”

You were so obedient, tightening around him and nearly screaming with pleasure the moment he commanded you to. He wasn’t far behind, succumbing to the perfection of your wet heat and filling it with his climax.

“Fuck!” he groaned when he hit the peak of it, trying somehow to focus entirely on both the way you felt and the way you sounded.

Normally he cleaned you up after this but right now he wanted his come to leak out of you all night, make your thighs and the sheets sticky. Apparently you had some sort of implant or something which kept you safe… he was trying not to count the days until it wore off. He figured you would totally lose it if he told you that he wanted to get you pregnant, and yet, he was surprised that you hadn’t asked him about getting your implant replaced.

You knew that life was unpredictable and all that, but if never in a million years would you have expected for the Winter Soldier to be painting your nails. But there he was, focused intently on each stroke of the tiny brush as he held your hand still.

“This’ll help you stop chewing your nails,” he gave as his excuse. It was almost believable, except that he did your toes too. Amazingly enough, you’d never chewed on those.

They were actually sort of pretty, if you were being honest. You admired them a little, as they dried. It wasn’t a perfect paint job by any means, but much better than you expected from Bucky and honestly, a bit better than you would’ve done it in all likelihood. The baby pink color was a little nauseating as always, but it admittedly did look nice with your skin tone.

“What do you say?” he prompted.

“Thank you, Daddy,” you smiled. “It looks nice.”

“You’re welcome, angel. I think so too. We’ll take ‘em for a spin when they’re dry.”

You swallowed. You had a pretty good idea of what that would entail.

Next was your hair. Pigtails, the way he always did it. You never quite understood what he liked so much about turning you into a girlier, more childish version of yourself, but you were finally embracing the things that you liked about being in this role. He certainly pampered you, which was hard to complain about. In your whole time here (you struggled to keep track but it must have been over a month now) you'd never cooked once.

After lunch he had you on your knees, looking up at him while you started to unzip his fly. You found yourself salivating a little as you pulled his half-hard cock out of his boxers.

“Baby, your hands are so small…” he noticed reverently. “Barely fit around it.”

“It’s not that they’re small, it’s that you’re so big,” you replied, more honest than you were used to being with him.

“You flatter me,” he grinned. “Do it some more.”

You felt put on the spot, but feared disappointing him. “Daddy, your cock is… so big,” you improvised, still stroking him as he got harder for you, “I can’t believe it fits inside me.”

“Hmm, it almost doesn’t,” he recalled.

“But it feels so good when-- when I get used to you and, um, your cock… stretches me…”

He groaned a little, and you moved your hand faster.

“Fills me up so good, Daddy,” you moaned, getting more into it than you had intended to. “Your cock feels so fucking good, it’s like it’s made for me--”

He cut you off suddenly by pushing you back onto the mattress, hovering over you as a muscular hand wrapped around your throat.

“Got quite the mouth on ya, doll,” he growled. “Do I need to wash it out with soap?”

You shook your head; he wasn’t choking you hard enough to stop you from speaking entirely if you had really wanted to, but you were too stunned to say much. His attitude could flip on a dime like this, and you could never see it coming. The fear made your heart race; the anticipation made your thighs clench together.

He smiled as he pulled back, letting go of your neck and reaching for his cock instead. “I can tell you’re worked up. Go ahead, touch yourself.”

You hesitated because typically that would be an infraction, but he nodded for you to continue as you nervously reached between your legs.

You gasped softly when you touched your clit: it was swollen, and especially sensitive. You hadn't realized how turned on you really were. Slowly, you started to rub circles around it as your hips rocked with your movements.

"Does it feel good?" he asked, and when you looked up at him, he was stroking himself as well. You nodded quickly. "'M gonna come on that pretty face, little one. Beg me for it."

"Daddy…" you murmured in shock, "I… want you to come on my face, please. Wanna be covered in it."

"You're not a good liar," he grinned. "I know you really want me to fuck you."

He wasn't wrong, so you nodded again and watched his hand speed up as it moved up and down his length.

"You poor thing," he cooed. "I fuck you daily and you're so disappointed to be going without, to just be getting my come on your face like the dirty little whore you are."

His words stung but your hand was moving faster between your legs.

"You're getting close, aren't you? Wait until I'm ready," he ordered. You swallowed dryly but slowed down a little to buy yourself some time.

He grunted a bit and you really hoped it was signalling an orgasm because you felt yours building unstoppably. You didn't even think you could pull your hand away from yourself if he asked you to, you needed to come so bad.

"Fuck, open your mouth baby-- stick your tongue out," he commanded quickly, stepping forward until his cock was casting a shadow over your face. "Oh god, just like that… ready baby?"

You nodded one more time and heard yourself panting loudly through your open mouth, your moans only interrupted by a wince as his come spurted forward and painted your face and exposed tongue in hot stripes. Your orgasm hit just in time, embarrassingly spurred on by the degrading position you were in.

When he was done-- which seemed to take forever because he came so much-- he started to catch his breath before slipping his softening cock onto your come-coated tongue and into your waiting mouth.

"Mm, you look so good like this," he praised, "I'm not sure I wanna let you wipe it off."

A flesh thumb moved down to your cheek and rubbed a stray drop of spend into your skin.

"My perfect little cum dumpster, huh?" he said proudly, as if it was an award or achievement or something, and not a sick, insulting term.

Weird thing was, you felt proud of yourself, too.

He’d been working outside all day, chopping firewood in preparation for the upcoming winter. Sure, the cabin had heating, but he had a lot of ideas about cuddling in front of the fire, or maybe making love beside it.

Regardless, even super soldiers tire and must rest after working. He decided to head inside and heat up something warm to stave off the cold. You were still sleeping last he’d checked, exhausted from a long night-- yes, that kind of long night. He almost felt guilty for putting your body through so much… you were so delicate, sometimes he forgot you couldn’t always handle what he could. However, you were stronger than you realized, and such a perfectly obedient little girl; he smiled at the memory of your skin under his fingertips, your fragile form writhing and whimpering beneath him as he’d taken you for hours. As he daydreamed and began to enter the kitchen, he was torn from his imagination by a sound from your room. At first he wondered if he’d misheard it, but when he heard you cry out again, he assumed you were hurt and nearly tripped over himself to run to you. His heart was racing and he almost considered reaching for his sidearm-- there was no way someone could’ve broken in and tried to hurt you, right?

But as he flung open the door, instead he found you alone with your hand between your legs. You jumped up when you saw him, but it was too late.

“The fuck are you doing?!” he exclaimed, climbing onto the bed and trapping you before you could crawl backwards away from him.

“I-- I was just--”

He cut you off with a quick slap to the face. Not to hurt you, just to get you to focus on him.

“You know you can’t touch yourself without my permission. Did you forget?”

“No…” you murmured ashamedly.

“If you knew it was wrong, why did you do it?”

“I… I just missed you…”

“Why didn’t you call me for help? I can’t take care of you if you don’t ask.”

“I knew you were busy, I didn’t want to bother you--”

“Show me what you did,” he growled, watching you sheepishly spread your legs again to reveal your wet pussy and swollen clit. “Oh doll, you really did a number on yourself. Did you come without me?”

You looked away.

“Don’t bother lying. Did you make yourself come with your fingers?”

“Yes…”

You were hiding something. He almost didn’t want to know the entire truth because it was breaking his heart to know you’d disobeyed so severely, but he had to know what happened if he was going to discipline you properly.

“Was it more than once?”

You shook your head and his blood went cold upon the realization that you were hiding something worse.

“What were you thinking about?” he asked you slowly. He could hear your breathing quickened and he was sure he might die if you said what he was afraid of. “Answer me.”

“I was thinking about… being fucked…”

“By who?” he asked. You opened your mouth instantly but he cut you off. “Don’t lie.”

You spoke but it was so weak that it wasn’t even a whisper. “What was that?” he pressed.

“Sam,” you finally relented, “it was Sam.”

He was livid, but at least it wasn’t Steve.

“Go stand beside the bed and kneel,” he commanded firmly. You nodded weakly and slithered out from under him to do as he asked.

He took a deep, slow breath hoping to calm himself a little. He had heard that you shouldn’t punish little girls when you’re angry. But he needed to nip this in the bud.

He got off the bed and approached you after a moment, running a finger under your chin and guiding you to look up at him.

“You understand you’ve been very naughty, don’t you?” he asked with a cold fury tinting his voice.

“Yes, Daddy,” you answered. Clearly you were trying to be extra good and dutiful, hoping that strict adherence to the rules from here on out could save you some pain. You weren’t wrong, but he wished that you would’ve had that attitude a little sooner.

“And if I don’t teach you a lesson, that would be unfair to both of us.”

“Yes, Daddy.”

He sat down on the edge of the bed and opened his belt and fly, pulling out his cock. He sensed that you were compelled to lean forward and take it in your mouth, but you stayed still; you knew he would tell you exactly what he wanted you to do.

As he stroked his cock to full hardness, he glared at you so intensely that you couldn’t keep his gaze, looking up briefly but always glancing back down to the floor shamefully.

“I-I’m sorry, Da-” you began weakly.

“You’ll speak when spoken to,” he interjected harshly. Finally, he held your jaw with one hand, the other holding his cock forward as he plunged it between your lips. He moaned a little when you swirled your tongue over it, doing your best to coat every inch of it in wetness.

As quickly as he had pushed in, he pulled out again. He slapped his cock on your face, smearing your own spit on your cheek. He rubbed his tip over your lips in a circle, but when you opened up your mouth for him, instead he leaned forward and spit into your open mouth.

“Swallow it,” he demanded through his teeth, and you did though it made you shudder with disgust.

Only then did he shove his cock in again, and with brutal force as well. He used fistfuls of your hair to pull your face up and down on his cock, ignoring your whimpers of pain.

The room was filled with the sounds of your choking and coughing, until those extended periods of silence when his cock was shoved all the way into your throat and you couldn’t even get enough air for that. It was the sexiest thing he’d ever heard in his life.

When he pulled you off of him to look at your face, he grinned proudly. “Doll, you look like a fuckin’ mess.” And it was true; spit and pre-cum dribbling down your chin and onto the floor, red nose and puffy eyes from crying… truly a sight to behold.

He gave you one more slap for good measure, the fist in your hair preventing your head from spinning to the side.

“Gonna fuckin’ come in your throat. You’d better swallow it all, bitch.”

He could feel your whole body jerk when he said it, and it only served to make your throat even tighter around him.

“Fuck,” he groaned, “just like that, choke on me, fuck, oh god, fuck--”

He came with a stuttered moan and the sounds of protest you tried to make were lost as cum filled your throat and mouth.

He smiled when you swallowed quickly, determined to obey. He wasn’t even done coming yet and you were swallowing it. Probably a good strategy; he had been pent up for a while now and he probably could’ve filled your tiny mouth until it was leaking.

When he was sure every drop of come had been spilled and swallowed, he pulled out and gave you some reprieve. You gasped for air loudly, coughing a few times but mostly maintaining your composure like the good little slut you were.

He watched you shift your hip uncomfortably and realized you must be quite agitated yourself.

“If you want something from me, just ask,” he encouraged. “That’s the whole point of this, isn’t it?”

“Please fuck me,” you whimpered.

He wagged his finger disapprovingly. “I don’t know if you deserve it.”

“Please!” you yelped, and he yanked you off the floor and into his lap quickly.

“You get so dumb when you need me,” he growled into your ear. “So desperate that you don’t know how to think about anything else but cock. Isn’t that right?”

You nodded with a gasp.

“You’re my dumb little baby, aren’t you? Say it," he hissed in demand.

“I’m your dumb little baby,” you repeated breathlessly.

“Get on your hands and knees and get that ass up.”

You obeyed quickly, almost eagerly, and he grinned at your obedience. You really needed it bad, and he was helpless but to oblige you. As soon as he was on his knees behind you and lining up with your sopping entrance, he was shoving his cock into you all at once.

You yelped at the brutality of the intrusion; he stayed still for a moment, relishing the feeling of your warmth, before pulling back out again.

“Wh-?” you began to protest in confusion, but he was a step ahead of you.

“That was just to get my cock wet, baby.”

One metal finger slipped into your puckered hole and you yelped. “D-daddy, not there!”

“Shhh, just relax,” he soothed.

“It’s gonna hurt,” you whined.

“That’s sort of the idea,” he explained. “I know what you can handle, doll.”

“And I can handle this?”

“I never said that.”

And with only one more finger and a few more minutes of hasty preparation, he was pushing his cock into your tighter hole.

“Shh,” he soothed when he felt you clench around him, but still pushing forward, indifferent to your hiss of pain.

“It hurts!” you sobbed.

“I know baby, you’re just gonna have to take it. This wouldn’t be happening if you had just asked me to help you.”

You pouted and it was equal parts adorable and pathetic. “I’m sorry!”

“I’ll tell you when it’s time to apologize. Right now you just need to be quiet. Don’t you wanna be a good little girl?”

“Y-yes.”

He started to move his cock inside you and you shivered under him.

“Please come,” you begged weakly after a few more minutes of thrusting.

“You wanna get it over with? Don’t like it?”

You nodded and he did feel bad for you, but he knew it was what you needed.

“I’ll come when I’m ready, doll. Just take Daddy’s cock, ‘s all you’re good for anyways, right angel?”

You nodded and bit back another sob, blissfully unaware of his adoring gaze; you looked so cute crying for his cock. He liked being strong enough to hurt you almost as much as he liked being strong enough to protect you.

“My perfect little crybaby,” he cooed. “Don’t whine too much or I’ll have to stuff that filthy mouth with a paci, alright?”

He watched you bite your lip and try to stay calm. Out of pity, he moved a little slower than he wanted to, giving you some more time to adjust. Eventually he felt you relaxing, though you still yelped a little when he pushed in all the way. It was hard to choose between watching your face or watching his cock stretch open your hole.

“God, you’re takin’ me so well,” he praised. “Who knew you were such a whore, huh?”

Before you could deny it, he reached down and swiped his fingers through your folds quickly, groaning when he felt how swollen and wet they were. “Fuck, baby, you’re drenched. You like getting fucked up the ass; such a dirty little slut.”

“Just for you, Daddy,” you informed him with a weak voice. He was still angry with you, of course, but he was so proud of you, too. He could remember all those times you’d tried to run or fight, now you were just laying there and taking it like a champ-- no restraints, no threats, just the desire to be good for him. You were everything he’d ever dreamed you could be and more.

The thought spurred his orgasm ahead sooner than he expected, but he still wanted to hold back. You needed more to learn your lesson, and he wanted to savor this feeling as long as possible.

His fingers had been digging into the supple flesh of your hips and ass, hard enough to bruise, but you felt too warm and too soft, so he gripped the sheets instead in his attempts to stave off his rupture.

But it wasn’t much longer until the tightness of you, the heat of you, the sweetness of your sobs all became too perfect to ignore. His cock was aching for release, and if he denied himself much more, he figured his balls would never relax from their tightened state.

“I think you’re ready to apologize now,” he groaned.

“I’m so sorry, Daddy,” you sobbed. “I swear, I’ll never touch myself without your permission again-- and I’ll never think about anybody but you! I only want you, I swear!”

“You sure, baby? You don’t think Sam would treat you better?” he mocked. Sam definitely would be nicer to you, but there was no way he could treat you better than Bucky did. Maybe you wanted a guy who was sweeter, more traditional, but this was what you needed and only your Daddy could give that to you.

“I’m sure! I only want you, please! Please, please come.”

“Is that what you want, angel? Want me to come in your tight little ass?”

“Please,” you whimpered.

“Please…?”

“Please, Daddy.”

And he came, though it was a little more physically taxing since it was the second of the night. You whimpered a little but he could tell you were relieved it was over.

You didn’t put up any fight at bath time that night, just curled into his arms and let him wash you as you whispered more apologies.

“Shh, it’s alright,” he soothed as he washed your hair, whispering right against your ear before giving it a little kiss. “You did good, baby. You made a mistake but you’re gonna learn from it and we’re gonna be better than ever. You took your punishment so well, darling, you should be proud.”

Today you'd woken up to an empty house, with a note on the kitchen table:

Gone for groceries, I'll be back in the afternoon. When I get home, greet me at the door wearing what I've laid out for you in your closet.

You figured it wasn't going to be something conservative by any means, but you were still taken aback by finding a tail, collar, and cat-ear headband. The collar was pink leather with a tiny bell and a little heart-shaped steel tag with your name on it. The realization that he had this custom-made sent a shiver down your back. On the back of the tag was another engraving:

IF LOST RETURN TO BUCKY BARNES

You were a little concerned about wearing only a collar, ears and tail… especially when you realized how the tail was intended to be worn.

Still, you had become thoroughly obedient, and you trusted that this would make him happy which was all you could hope for. You fought past your hesitation and changed out of your pajamas into the outfit (if it could even be called that when it contained no actual clothing).

He had the biggest grin on his face when he opened the door to find you on your knees just outside the entryway.

“Oh look at you, kitten,” he beamed.

Being naked on the floor was cold and awkward. You crossed your arms to cover your chest, frowning as you tried to avoid his penetrating gaze. “This is stupid. I feel stupid.”

“You are stupid," he smiled. "But you look great! Now behave or you’ll have to eat out of a bowl on the floor until you’ve learned to love being Daddy’s pet.”

Your eyes went wide.

“You’re gonna behave, right?”

“Y-yes, Daddy.”

He smiled and curled his finger, motioning for you to come closer. You awkwardly crawled towards him on your hands and knees, biting your lip absent-mindedly. When you were on the floor in front of his legs, he knelt down a bit and grabbed a handful of your ass. It made the plug inside you shift and you whimpered.

“Mm, this tail looks lovely on you,” he praised. “And the ears… you’re a natural.”

“Thank you, Daddy,” you shyly accepted the compliment.

"I bet you got wet putting this on, huh?" he presumed. You nodded as he moved to rub two fingers through your folds, proving himself right.

When he leaned back and pulled his cock from his jeans, you were surprised at how hard it already was. Clearly the kitten thing was working for him.

"Go ahead kitty, I know you want a taste," he encouraged.

You leaned forward and gave, fittingly, small kitten licks to the tip of his cock and he groaned. “Just like that, fuck.”

You hummed when you tasted his pre-cum on your tongue. You’d gotten so accustomed to it that you actually enjoyed the flavor now.

Hesitantly, you wrapped your lips around the head and suckled on it gently. Apparently, he didn’t care much for the slow-but-steady method; he slipped two fingers under your collar and used it to pull you down further until you choked.

He continued to guide you forward and back, moaning every time your throat accepted the leaking head of his cock.

“You don’t want me to come in your mouth, do you?” he asked with a grunt.

You shook your head.

He grinned knowingly, pushing you back until your mouth was empty and free to respond. “Where do you want it?”

“In my pussy.”

“Full sentences only, please.”

“I want you to come in my pussy, Daddy, please.”

“Hmm, you did ask very nicely,” he smiled. “But I have something else to do first. Go get on the couch, kitten, hands and knees.”

You almost stood up but realized he wanted you to crawl again. As soon as you’d done it, he was behind you, humming contentedly as he ran his rough hands over your skin. You mewled when he started to kiss along your back, down your ass and between your thighs until he was licking long stripes through your folds. Both of you moaned when he sucked your clit into his mouth, even allowing it to graze against his teeth which nearly hurt but made you gush with wetness anyways.

"Please-- I'm close, Daddy, can I come?" you whimpered.

"Go ahead," he mumbled before returning to his work, knowing exactly how to use his tongue to take you apart in mere minutes. Your hands grabbed desperately at the back of the couch for stability as your legs began to quiver with the force of your orgasm. You yelped and bit down on your lip as it crashed over you; sometimes when he ate you out, he wouldn't stop after you'd came and keep going until you were begging for mercy, but he was apparently feeling generous today and stopped once you'd finished.

That, of course, did not mean he was finished with you.

He pushed his jeans down to his thighs and laid back onto the mattress, cock so hard that it was pressing into his abs.

“Come on kitten, ride me,” he grinned, motioning for you to climb on top of him. The moment you did he was rubbing his cock against you, pushing it upwards for you to sink down onto it. You moaned as it stretched you open, and when your hips met his, the tip of it brushed against the deepest places inside you. You yelped and tried to move back up but he suddenly grabbed your legs and held you down.

“Nuh-uh, kitten, no running away. You’re gonna take all of me.”

“It’s too deep,” you protested weakly, even though you felt your walls throbbing with pleasure.

“Not at all, angel; you’re made for me, so you fit me perfectly,” he explained. “If I let you go, you’re gonna ride me properly, take my whole cock, right?”

You nodded and he eased up his grip. You felt your legs shaking as little as you pushed yourself up only to drop back down, wincing as he filled you so completely once again. You repeated the movement over and over, picking up pace and moaning every time. You could feel his cock moving the plug inside your ass, and each bounce on top of him made your collar jingle a little.

You did your best to keep up the pace, but to lift yourself required use of a muscle that you clearly hadn't been getting much exercise for; it wasn't more than a few minutes before you were faltering, your moans of pleasure accented with the struggling groans of exhaustion.

"Oh kitty, are you too weak? Too wimpy and small to ride my cock? Baby… that's pathetic," he moped.

"I'm sorry, Daddy," you pouted. "I'm just tired…"

"Just a little longer, kitten, just ride my cock a little more then I'll help you out, okay? I know you can do it. I know you can be a good girl."

You hoped he was right. You nodded weakly as he looked at you expectantly, before slowly beginning to move again in spite of your sore thighs.

Soon, as he'd promised, he pulled you down and wrapped his arms around you, thrusting up into you. Your moans echoed against his skin when your face was shoved into the crook of his neck. When his cock slammed into your most sensitive spot, you bit him there as a way to stifle yourself and he slapped your ass.

“Only bad kittens bite, doll. I thought you were going to be a good kitten for me?”

“Feels so good,” you tried to explain though it came out slurred, “please don’t stop.”

“I’m not gonna stop, baby. Not gonna stop until that pussy is full of my come. That what you want?”

“Yes,” you pleaded, “oh god, yes, please…”

He moaned loudly as his thrusts lost all rhythm, his cock moving so fast inside you that the sensation became one hot blur against your walls. Finally, as he groaned and gripped you tight enough to bruise, he spilled inside you.

As he let out a long breath and his body relaxed under you, he smiled softly. "You really are perfect, pet."

"C-can I take off the ears now? And the tail?"

"Hmm, not yet," he grinned, "we need to take a few pictures of you like this first."

He was working in the kitchen when he heard your footsteps approaching.

"Don't come in here!" he ordered you. "Wait for me at the dining table."

"Why, Daddy?" he heard you respond from the hall. He smiled just to hear your sweet voice.

"It's a surprise, babydoll," he explained. "It's almost ready-- just wait, okay?"

"Okay, Daddy," you answered dutifully, your footsteps moving to the dining area as he'd requested.

Stepping back and admiring his work, he lifted it and turned out the door to deliver your surprise: a cake, with pink frosting and one pink candle.

Your eyes lit up when you saw him holding the cake stand, being careful not to tilt it or get the flame of the candle near his long hair.

He smiled and set it in front of you, looking to your face for a reaction. Suddenly he felt self-conscious about it, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly. "Um, I made it myself. Sorry if the decorating isn't that nice…"

"It's beautiful, Daddy, and I bet it'll taste great, too," you beamed. "What's the occasion?"

"It's our anniversary," he replied, his voice suddenly low and dark.

He saw recognition cross your face, though you looked confused as well. The meds he'd given you throughout the year had disrupted your memories, and probably distorted your perception of the passage of time as well, but it was all necessary to get you compliant. He hoped reminding you of that somewhat violent first day wouldn't set back any of your progress.

"I've… been here a year?" you asked weakly.

"We've been here a year," he corrected, sitting down beside you and wrapping an arm around you, "but that's not what we're celebrating."

The hand on your shoulder slipped down to the underside of your arm, stroking it slowly.

"We're celebrating that a medication somebody gave you a long time ago, before we were together, is finally worn off," he explained slowly, a grin creeping across his face. "We're celebrating that the next time I come inside you, I'm gonna get you pregnant."

He didn't fuck you for three days after that, loving the way you were clearly on edge as you waited for him to make good on his promise. And he didn't blame you for being nervous about it, even if you seemed to understand that any protest from you would fall on deaf ears.

So, he was quite taken aback when you came onto him one night, bedtime cuddling quickly turning into something more as you rubbed your ass against his crotch. He hadn't even realized that you would want it all on your own.

God, you were so fucking perfect he couldn't stand it.

"What are you doing, angel?" he asked you with a growl as he grabbed your hips and forced them to still.

"Nothing, Daddy," you answered coyly. He grinned and nipped at your earlobe.

"Are you horny, babygirl? Because you're acting like a whore."

You nodded and gasped, shivering under his touch.

"Want Daddy's cock inside you?" he pressed, voice getting darker.

"Yes, please!" you begged.

He sat up and flipped you onto your back, caging you in with his arms as he hovered above you.

“You wanna have my baby?” he asked in a husky whisper.

“Yes,” you nodded your head quickly.

“Want me to knock you up, doll? Right now?”

“Please,” you whimpered.

He leaned down, almost close enough to kiss you, as his gaze wandered over your face “I don’t want it to be like the other times. None of the crazy shit, nothing rough. If I’m gonna get you pregnant--”

“Whatever you want,” you pleaded.

He kissed you suddenly, deep and slow. “I love you,” he told you quickly as he pulled back, breathless but confident.

“I love you too,” you answered without even questioning it.

He was gentle, and thorough, and patient. It was love-making in a way that was out of character for him. He lifted your legs to wrap around his hips, pushing into you as deep as he could but with a contemplative slowness; he cradled your face in his hands and kissed all over it as he praised you in whispers.

My pretty girl, my perfect little girl, gonna fill you up, gonna make you mine.

You were only moans and sobs, your arms wrapping around his neck to pull him closer.

The first time you came was unexpected, building slowly but crashing into you all at once, judging by the way you went from softly whimpering to nearly screaming in seconds. The second was quieter, more subtle, but he could tell by the way your walls tightened around him. The third left you in tears, beyond overstimulated and broken down into a babbling mess.

“Please,” you cried, “please I need you to come-- come inside me.”

He struggled to resist that offer, but he didn't want it to be over too quickly.

“Soon,” he promised, “I’m close. You feel so good.”

You wrapped a hand around the back of his neck, pulling him close for a kiss but stopping as his mouth brushed against yours.

“Please, Bucky… please come…” you whispered.

He moaned, his thrusts getting a little more erratic.

“Need it so bad,” you whimpered, “need you to put your baby in me--”

“Fuck,” he hissed, “‘m gonna, promise.”

“Now,” you demanded through your teeth, “I need it now.”

“Not until you come one more time,” he responded. You whined and he knew you were questioning whether it was possible. “I know you can, just gimme one more.”

His angle shifted and he stayed deep within you, grinding his hips on yours just the right way to rub your clit with his pubic bone. Your back arched but he held you close, barraging you with the sensation and pressing his forehead to yours.

Your hands gripped his shoulders for dear life, as if you were afraid to fall. He smiled and kissed your neck, feeling your walls flutter around him once again.

“That’s it,” he praised, “I know you’re close. Just let go. I’ve got you.”

Tears streamed down your face as it tore through you, hitting you so hard that instead of moans it was just silence. He watched your face intently, breathing through his teeth as he summoned all his willpower to hold on just a little longer.

"Daddy!" you yelped, and he couldn't take any more: with a high-pitched, stuttered moan, he felt his cock flexed as he came harder than maybe he ever had before. Knowing that you were fertile made it all so much more intense. Normally, his orgasm just meant the end of sex-- maybe just for a few minutes on a good day. But now? Now it was the beginning of something. His perfect little angel was going to finally fulfill her final purpose and give him a baby. He'd waited so long, dreamed of it every day for years, and finally it was going to happen.

He refused to pull out or let you move until he was sure it would take; he killed the time by kissing every part of your face and neck that he could reach.

He hadn't even gotten you pregnant yet, technically, and he already couldn't wait for more children. He'd always wanted to have a big family, but he gave up on that dream years ago; meeting you had brought it all back, and made him realize that all this time he'd just been waiting for the perfect wife to start it with.

You were well worth the wait.

#dark!bucky x reader #dark!bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes non con #bucky barnes x y/n #dark!bucky smut #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan smut #sebastian stan x y/n #dark!sebastian stan x reader

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fallingforunrealisticromance · 4 years ago

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You matter - Aaron Hotchner x fem! reader

A/N: So a lot of you seemed to like my last one about hotch and trust me i have plenty more! I also have some for spencer and am currently writing a mini series for derek so if anyone’s interested in that let me know. Enjoy. Warnings: Mentions of a case, swearing Word count : 1,762 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I sat in the lobby of the hotel; my head held in my hands. This case had taken a toll on all of us. All we wanted to do was to get back to Quantico and get a goodnights rest in our own homes, in our own beds. But apparently mother nature had other plans. A storm had been brewing all night – thunder, lightning, rain – the whole lot. So, we’d been made to stay another night in the local hotel. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not a bad hotel. If anything, it’s one of the nicer ones we’ve stayed in throughout the years, but the frustration from not being able to go home grew in all of us. I was so wrapped in my own thoughts I didn’t notice someone taking a seat next to me.

“You okay?” Hotch’s voice made me jump. I placed my hand over my chest.

“God you scared me.” I said chuckling. Hotch smiled at me.

“Sorry, you just looked like you could use the company.” He replied. I sighed.

“Yeah. I guess I could.” He studied my face for a moment. “

Are you okay?” He seemed hesitant in his words. Mine and Hotch’s friendship is quite a casual one. We occasionally see each other outside of work, I’ve even watched jack for him when Jess wasn’t able to. Hotch had confided in me with some of his deepest secrets. Nightmares, regrets, worry’s about not being a good father. But I listened. We’ve never discussed my thoughts, my feelings. And that’s okay. I don’t want to be a burden to him, or any of the team. So, whenever they had a problem, I would sit and listen. I’d comfort them, try my best to give them advice or simply let them get their feelings out. But when it came to myself, I push all those feelings down. Until my key hits the door.

“Hey.” Hotch nudged my arm. I hadn’t realised I’d been gazing at the wall ahead of me, once again caught up in my own thoughts.

“What’s going on? Talk to me.” He said softly. I ran my fingers through my hair and sighed.

“It’s just this case you know. I get that our job is to get inside the mind of these psychos, but I can never understand why people hurt kids.” I explained.

“We can never truly understand why these people do what they do.” Hotch replied.

“That’s not true. In most of our cases, I do understand. I’m able to see the reasons as to why they kill. I never agree with them before you think I’m insane.” Hotch chuckled stiffly at my words.

“But when it comes to kids, I never understand it. There’s no logic, no sense to it. And this case especially. As if torturing them wasn’t enough, why then display the dead bodies for the family to see? I mean the families have been through enough, the child went through enough. I thought this guy would have some shred of humanity left not to fucking humiliate and scar them all afterwards.” I could feel the anger building up inside of me. There’s something I hadn’t told the team. And now it was about to come bursting out.

“I know they have no emotions. I know they don’t think the right way. I know that biologically that there is something wrong with them. I know the facts. But it still bugs me. And the fact he was fucking laughing when we brought him in. That sick bastard.” I stood up and started pacing. Tears were threatening to spill from my eyes as I ran my shaking hands through my hair trying to cling on to any sense of calm I had left.

“I hate him.” I spat. All hope of remaining collected went out the window. Hotch stood up and came towards me.

“Y/N, listen to me calm down.” He reached out to place his hands on my arms.

“No. This isn’t fair. Abbey didn’t do anything”

“Abbey? The last girl he killed?” Hotch asked but I ignored him.

“She was seven. SEVEN HOTCH. All she wanted to do was go to school, live her life, play with her friends. Instead, she ends up being kidnapped, brutally torched and murdered then get’s her dismembered body presented on her front lawn like she was some kind of abstract art.” I was hysterical at this point. Crying, yelling – I couldn’t stop myself.

“I hate him. I hate him. I hate him.” I pounded my fists against Hotch’s chest with every sentence, until I eventually wore myself out and collapsed into his arms sobbing. He held me, letting me get everything out. I could feel his hands gently rubbing my back, soothing me. We were now crouched down on the floor and at some point Hotch must have moved us to a corner somewhere as his back was resting against a wall. When I eventually stopped crying, I noticed I was half sprawled across his lap. I didn’t have the energy to stand so I just shifted myself, so I was comfortable and able to face him. He gently brushed the hair out of my face. I couldn’t meet his gaze. I was embarrassed to have lost it like that.

“I’m sorry.” I whispered.

“You have nothing to be sorry for.” He replied, softly

“Can I ask you a question?” I nodded at his words.

“Why is this effecting you so much? I understand this case has been a brutal one but it’s not the first time we’ve dealt with this level of torture. It’s certainly not the first child killer we’ve dealt with. So, what’s changed?” He took my hands in his and begun to rub small circles around them, offering me a small sense of comfort. His tone was soft. I could tell he was asking from a place of genuine care for me.

“I knew her.” I confessed. Hotch’s hand stilled on mine. “She was my niece.” Hotch looked slightly puzzled at my words.

“But her parents, they’d never seen you before?” He asked.

“Well, you know how they told you she was adopted when she was a child? And that her birth mother passed away a few months after they took abbey into their care? Her mum was my sister. Making abbey my niece.” I explained in a low tone.

“H-how long have you known?” Hotch questioned.

“I’ve known for a while. I knew before we took the case.” I replied.

“You knew this entire time and you didn’t say anything? Not even when we found her?” Hotch sounded shocked.

“I just couldn’t face it at the time. We needed to find the Unsub and I didn’t have time to let my feelings get in the way. They weren’t important.” I said looking at the ground. Hotch sighed . I felt him placed his finger under my chin and gently guide my eyes up to meet his.

“Listen to me okay, your feelings matter. They will always matter. I can’t imagine what it must have been like for you to have seen that yet continue to work the case and I’m deeply sorry for your loss. But please, never hide your feelings from us. From me. You’ve helped me on countless occasions, and I apologize if I haven’t made you feel like I could return the favour.” I shook my head.

“No this isn’t you Hotch. I know I could’ve mentioned it to you. I just –“ I hesitated before continuing. Hotch continued to stroke my hand softly.

“I’ve spent so long having to just deal with my emotions alone. I’ve never really had anyone who cared enough to listen, so I’ve just learnt to keep it to myself. So now I have you, a-and the team, it’s just hard to open up you know?” I explained. Hotch gently reached up and placed his hand on my cheek. My eyes fluttered closed as I leant into his touch. I didn’t realise how much I craved his touch until now.

“I understand. But I hope you do know that you can talk to me. About anything. Whenever you need me, just come, and find me. Yeah?” I nodded slightly at his words. I could feel tears beginning to slip from my eyes again. Hotch slowly wiped them away with his thumb.

“Thank you. For everything.” I whispered.

“You don’t need to thank me.” He replied in soft tone, smiling at me. “I love you too much to watch you suffer alone.” His voice was low, almost at a whisper. My eyes snapped up to meet his.

“Y-you love me?” Hotch sighed at my words.

“I’m not expecting you to feel the same, but you needed to know that you’re loved. By no one more than me.” He explained. I just starred at him trying to process what he’d just said. I’d had feelings for hotch ever since I met him, but I’d never been 100% sure until now. Slowly, I leant forward and placed a gentle kiss on his lips. It wasn’t long, but enough for him to know I reciprocated his feelings. As I pulled away, he looked at me slightly shocked at my actions. I looked at him nervously. Maybe he didn’t love me. Maybe he was just saying to make me feel better. Shit, what had I done? Before I could regret my choice any longer, Hotch leant forward to reconnect my lips with his but this time it was deeper – with a lot more passion. He cupped my face in his hands softly, as if he was scared to lose me. I shifted on his lap, so I was essentially straddling him. I felt him smile against my lips as he placed his hands just above my hips, holding me close to him. My fingers interwind in his black hair tugging slightly. Eventually we had to pull away for air.

“Hotch I-“

“Aaron. Call me Aaron.” He said cutting me off by placing his finger to my lips. I smiled at him. The smile he returned to me in that moment was brighter and fuller of joy than anything I’d seen in the past. My cheeks flushed red as I suddenly became shy, so I leant forward and buried my head in the crook of his neck. This caused him to chuckle, sending warm vibrations throughout my chest. He wrapped his arms around me and held me flush against him. We stayed like that for a while, just enjoying our newfound love for one another.

#aaron hotchner #thomas gibson #criminal minds #bau #aaron hotch x reader #agent hotchner #hotch x y/n #hotch #derek morgan #spencer reid

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miraculouswolf99 · 4 years ago

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Somebody Fix This School Already

Another of my one-shots for Miraculous Ladybug. Includes more of my original characters that can learned about from my post Originals. Please support me by becoming a patreon of me. Thank you.

*****

"Can one of you explain to us how this place is even considered a school," Mason asked the class in front of him.

The group of visiting Greek students had been talking during lunch the day after the Zombizou apocalypse. Mason, Lena, and Apollo had been sent to Ms.Mendeleiev's class while Lyon and Vallia were in Ms.Bustier's. So the other three did not know how one of the sweetest teachers in the school had been akumatized.

To say that the three were shocked by what the twins had told them would be one hell of an understatement. So Mason asked the very first question that came to mind to the nearby class that his friends belong to.

"What do you mean, dude," Nino asked, confused.

Ms.Bustier's class was all sitting together that day, except for Chloe and her minion... I mean Sabrina.

None of the class really knew the other three very well. They only really heard some passing things from Aurore and Mirelle. Nathaniel had been told that the three were nice by Marc when he asked him.

"Well, from what we know, Marinette, Adrien, Lyon, and Vallia are the only ones not to be akumatized in your whole class," Apollo says. "The fact that your teacher has now been the victim to one of those moths makes it more of an anomaly."

"Butterflies, not moths," Marinette corrected.

"We're still not convinced about that," Apollo said. "But that may be more because Beautifly is a hero from our own country so butterflies do not come to mind when evil is being spoken of."

"Anyway, there just has been a lot of akumas from this school, and your class in particular," Lena says. "Even your principle has been akumatized."

They did have a point. Their class, alone, had Bubbler, Stone Heart, Lady Wifi, Antibug, Princess Frangrance, Vanisher, Refleckta, Horrificator, Dark Cupid, Gamer, Robostus, Evillustrator, Timebreaker, Volpina if Lila ever comes back, and now Zombizou. Even outside the class but still in school was Dark Owl, Stormy Weather, Syren, Riposte, Magician of Misfortune, and even the school fencing instructor as Darkblade.

Marinette and Adrien were probably the most aware of what the Greeks were talking about. Marinette actually kept a list of all akumas on her computer to keep track of them all.

"Even if Ladybug always fixes the damage done to the school, that doesn't always stop what has caused the akuma in the first place," Vallia said.

"I don't get it," Kim was confused.

"We figure that Ms.Bustier was not the type to really feel negative emotions, especially after what she tried yesterday," Lyon said. "I mean, Chloe vandalizes Marinette's gift for our teacher out of pure spite and she tries to give Chloe credit and say that she will think of both girls when she looks at it."

"Say what," Lena did not know about that. "Why would anyone on Demeter's green earth try anything like that?"

"It's Chloe being Chloe," Alix huffed. "Half the city has basically been akumatized because of her."

"From what I know, Nino and Max are the only ones in class that haven't been akumatized because of her," Lyon says. "That is excluding myself, Vallia, Marinette, and Adrien as we have not been akumatized at all."

"After how this guy has been basically feeding off of negative emotions for so long, that is an impressive feat to have never been a victim of it before," Apollo said.

"Hold on one second," Lena halted everyone. "I have one question. How long has Bourgeois been acting like a... um..."

"Spoiled brat," Marinette offered.

"Nightmare," Alya suggested.

"The biggest bully in Paris," surprisingly offered by Juleka of all people.

"All of the above," Adrien shrugged.

The class looked at him weirdly. Whenever anyone has anything bad to say about Chloe, he is usually the first one to defend her after Sabrina.

"I guess even the humanized sunshine has his limits," Mason snickered.

Adrien sighed. "More like Lyon really knows how to harshly, but necessarily, give someone a very needed slap of reality."

"Parakaló," Lyon said. Translation: You're welcome.

"What did you say to him," Marinette asked the icy teen. "Adrien can be as stubborn as Alya, and that says something."

"Hey," the Ladyblogger protested, making the class laugh.

"I basically force-fed him a few facts," Lyon crossed his arms, as stone-cold as ever. "Mainly how this girl enjoys making the people around her miserable and is always the first person to put them down."

"You probably needed more than that to talk some sense into him," Nino said. "No offense, dude."

"None taken," Adrien shrugged.

"Trust me when I say that when my brother verbally slaps someone, he doesn't hold back," Vallia said.

"It was just a few innocent questions to those like Marinette, Nino, and Kim that got my wheels turning," Lyon says. "They all said the same thing when it came to Chloe. They all shared a class with her for ten years and the girl has been a bully for all ten of them. Did she even stop when there is a psycho out there taking advantage of negative emotions? No, she did not. All for one simple reason. She. Does. Not. Care."

The class was thinking the same thing. That when Lyon gets icy, he really gets icy. It was one thing when Marinette and Alya would stand up to her, but Lyon took the cake when it came to verbal beatdowns. Vallia was not kidding.

"Do any of us even need to bring up the fire alarm incident," Lena crossed her arms.

That got groans out of everyone, even Lyon and Vallia. When Chloe had been the only one not to be punished that day, Mason and Apollo had to basically force Lyon to be cleaning on the second floor so that he would not shoot the brat with an arrow.

The Greeks were half-tempted to allow him. Especially since it was obvious to everyone that she had been the one to make the false call in the first place yet only got out of the punishment because her father is the mayor. The Greeks were sure that anything he does to make his daughter happy and so unpunishable would be considered abuse of power if anyone bothered to look.

"Has any teacher ever tried to actually punish her," Mason asked.

"Actually punish Chloe," Alix snorted. "It is more likely for Ladybug and Cat Noir to willingly surrender to Hawkbutt than for Chloe to ever be punished."

"I think most of us see akumas going after her as the punishments that she deserves," Alya said. "I certainly went after her when I was Lady Wifi from what Marinette told me."

"When I saw her being chased by a giant hairdryer, I thought that my birthday and Christmas had somehow both had been happening at that moment," Marinette giggled.

"I may have been the Evillustrator, doing that, but you're welcome anyway," Nathaniel said.

"When Sabrina was tormenting Chloe as Vanisher, that was certainly some karma coming back to haunt her," Ivan commented.

"From what Ali had told me, I managed to make her pretty repulsive when I was Princess Frangrance," Rose added.

"I would have paid so much money to see that," Kim laughed. "Especially after she posted that humiliating picture of me that got me akumatized as Dark Cupid."

"I wish I could have remembered Chloe's face when I made her look like me when I was Reflekta," Juleka said.

Each of the students that had been akumatized by the brat all shared their own similar thoughts. That they all wished that they could remember getting her back while they were villains, even if they didn't want to remember anything else.

"Hold it," Lena halted the class, silencing them. "How many of these akumanizations happened while on school grounds?"

Alya, Ivan, Juleka, Nathaniel, and Mylene all raised their hands. All of their torments by Chloe had happened at school, only Mylene's happening after hours though.

"So even with all of you being akumatized because of her bullying or abusing her father's mayoral status, no one in this school did a thing," Mason clenched his fists.

The silence was very telling.

"Unbelievable," Vallia pinched the bridge of her nose. "If anyone behaved like that at our school back home, they'd be expelled faster than you could say Olympus."

"Athena is most ashamed of them," Lyon says. "She is not the goddess of wisdom for nothing."

"It is not like we can do anything about it," Max wiped his glasses. "After ten years of Chloe getting away with her behavior and attitude, the odds of her changing or the school staff doing anything about her is about a quarter of a billion to one."

"Leaving the math to Max, I do still agree with him," Marinette said. "Chloe has always been like this and the teachers have always allowed it. They think that just because her mom left her and her father that she gets to act as horrible as she does with no risk of punishments or any sort of consequence."

"Why not do something about it," Lena asks. "Force a much-needed change."

"What could we do," Alya did not have a plan for once. "They never listen to us and we're just a bunch of teenagers."

"The best thing about being teenagers is that we grew up during this time," Apollo says. "So that means we know what needs to be fixed. The reason why those our age do better than their predecessors is that we have seen the problems they never bothered to fix because they are so set in their ways."

"There is a reason why people say that children are our future," Mason smirked. "That isn't some insane prediction that children will one day rebel and take over the world, you know."

"We... uh... we could all demand to be transferred to another class," Adrien suggested. "Like Ms.Mendeleiev's or something?"

"Would that even work," Mylene wondered out loud.

"If anything, so many students wanting out of the same class at the same time for the same reason should raise some red flags," Lyon stated. "Does this school have a Board of Directors or not?"

Marinette actually had a better idea. She pulled out her phone. There was a look on her face that even Alya was was a little scared of.

Fate chose that moment for lunch to come to an end. The bell rang for everyone to pack up and get back to their classes. Lena, Mason, and Apollo gave the class a look.

"Don't let adults make you think you have no power," Apollo advised. "Everyone has the right to stand up to a bully and to those that won't punish her."

With that, the three of them left, joining Kagami, Marc, and Ondine on their way back to class. Aurore and Mirelle were waiting for them at the top of the stairs.

"You, Greeks, don't hold back, do you," Alya rhetorically says.

"Alya," Marinette scolded.

"Just be happy that none of us are from Sparta," Lyon stated.

"So, what do you guys think," Alix asks them all. "Class or principle's office?"

They all got up as they put their things back in their bags. They were all looking between the two rooms.

"Now or never, right, dudes," Nino said.

"I think I can speak for all of us when I say that we have had enough of Chloe Bourgeois to last all of our lifetimes," Marinette says.

The rest of the class did nothing but nod in agreement.

*****

"You all want to WHAT," Principle Damocles yelled.

"Did you not hear us," Vallia crossed her arms. "We want to transfer out of Ms.Bustier's class."

Vallia proved that Gardens did not hold back even when dealing with authority figures. It was a bit of a shock that it was the Flower Princess saying things like that and not her Ice Prince of a twin brother. Not that Lyon's silence and ice-cold stare was anything less scary. If anything, it only terrified them more.

Ms.Bustier had also been called in when what they wanted had been made perfectly clear. Chloe and Sabrina were behind her, as the teachers did not want to leave the two students alone in the classroom.

"A...All of you," Damocles stuttered, the students nodding. "It...It isn't possible. There isn't enough room in the other classes for all of you, even separated."

"Then make room," Lyon stated as if it was that simple.

"Why would all of you even want to leave," Ms.Bustier asked.

Their teacher, soon to be former-teacher, did look hurt. The students felt guilty over being the cause of her feelings being hurt, but it was also her own fault for never punishing Chloe.

"I think it's quite obvious," Marinette says. "We want to be as far away from Chloe Bourgeois as possible. We are sick and tired of her bullying us and getting away with it."

The rest of the class all voiced their agreement with the bluenette. To say that the two adults were shocked would be one hell of an understatement.

"Just because you are all jealous that you aren't as rich or beautiful as me..." Chloe started.

"SHUT UP, CHLOE," they all yelled at her.

"You can't talk to me like that," Chloe took out her hone with a huff. "I'm calling Daddy to stop you all from being mean to me."

"Call him all you want, we don't care anymore," Nino yelled, shocking the class as he had never yelled at anyone before.

"You have been destroying our work, bullying, and insulting us for ten years and we are no longer just gonna lie down and take it," Nathaniel sternly stated.

"Destroying work," Damocles was confused.

"How have you not noticed," Marinette snapped. "What about last month when Chloe destroyed the children's book that Alya was working on about Ladybug so she could read it to her sisters. Or a few months ago when Chloe dumped all that red paint on a dress I was designing in the art room."

"Well..." Damocles tried, but Marinette was not done.

"What about last year when Chloe ripped apart one of Nathaniel's sketchbooks," Marinette continued her rant. "Or that same year when she stole, and then snapped, a CD that Nino made of his DJ music. Or two years ago when she stuck a bunch of Juleka's and Rose's pictures in a bucket of paint."

"When I first heard about her doing that, I started keeping all my spray paints in a locked box that's in my locker," Alix crossed her arms.

"Which I saw Chloe try and break into more than once but you refused to do anything about it even when I had pictures and videos of her doing it," Kim glared at the authority figures.

"She tried what," Alix yelled. "And you didn't tell me!"

"Hey, even with proof, they didn't punish the brat," Kim responded. "You punching her would not have helped, even though she would have deserved it."

"Chloe would NOT have deserved it," Sabrina defended her 'friend.'

"She would have deserved that and so much more," Alya glared at the minion. "The rest of us see akumas going after her as karma coming to bite her in the butt."

"She's worse than Hawkmoth," Alix said for the second time in two days.

"She's caused so many akumas that you can almost call her Hawkmoth's sidekick," Ivan says.

"The fact that no one in this school seems to care about her victims speaks volumes about the staff," Lyon said. "There were a lot of spoiled brats back home, but at least our teachers and headmaster punished them when the punishment was deserved."

"After all this, Chloe should have been expelled a long time ago," Vallia put a hand on her hip. "Just because her victims don't remember what got them akumatized doesn't mean that the act did not happen at all."

"She even effects what other people think about those that hang around her," Adrien finally spoke up.

"Adrikins..." Chloe tried.

"No, you are not going to steamroll me this time, Chloe," Adrien actually glared at her. "I spent so much time defending you to everyone, but you just used that to hang off me no matter how clear it was that it made me uncomfortable. People already had bad opinions about me before they even met me because you were my childhood friend. They thought I'd be like you. Marinette did when she saw me messing with that gum on our first day of school."

The mentioned bluenette blushed, remembering that she did think he was a spoiled brat like Chloe when she saw that.

"Sorry about that," she said quietly.

"No need to apologize, Mari," Adrien says. "But that doesn't mean Chloe's attitude did not almost keep me from gaining friends. I've tried to get her to change for years, but she seems to only get worse. Every day she bullies, insults, and torments everyone around her and all we get told is that we need to be the bigger person or that there is nothing you can do. There is EVERYTHING you can do. Give her detention, lower her grades when she forces other people to do her work, scold her when she insults someone, act like you are TEACHERS!"

By the end of Adrien's rant, everyone was staring at him like he had suddenly grown two more heads. This was Adrien Agreste, who people have called the Sunshine of Paris. He hasn't talked to anyone like that since... he's never talked to anyone like that.

"What Chloe does to Adrien can basically be considered harassment," Lyon said. "I had a girl once try what Chloe is doing to Adrien. One phone call later and she was slapped with both a lawsuit for harassment and a restraining order before she could say Olympus."

"The look on her face when our lawyer handed her those papers was worth more than an entire family's jewel collection," Vallia giggled.

"Maybe not worth that much," Lyon says, making his sister roll her eyes.

"The point is, we are putting our feet down," Kim said. "If you won't punish Chloe, then we don't want to be in the same class as her."

"She has already been the cause of all our akumazations, other than myself and Nino's," Max pushed up his glasses. "Taking in my calculations of Marinette, Adrien, Lyon, and Vallia never being akumatized, the result of Chloe being the cause of any of us being akumatized again is roughly ninety-nine point nine-nine percent."

"How does he do that without a calculator," Vallia whispered to Rose. "Or a supercomputer?"

"We have no idea," the sweet blond whispered back.

"Have I ever mentioned I hate math," Vallia shook her head. "I'll always prefer geology to geography."

"You just need to forgive Chloe," Ms.Bustier tries. "Set an example for her to follow."

"I can let the anger go but I will never forgive Chloé Bourgeois," Marinette said. "We shouldn't be held accountable for the stuff Chloé pulls because we have to be good role models. You've only been our teacher for four years but Chloé and I have been together for ten years. She's been like this for a decade and nothing has ever changed."

"It's because of people like you," Adrien says. "Adults like you who look at Chloé and think her mother leaving her is enough of an excuse to act like a horrible person. You're better than the people who just want to be on her dad's good side, but not by much. You keep giving her second chances when she's already gotten long past the point of no return. You're enabling her behavior instead of punishing her even when she's been bullying everyone for years. Even I know that and I only started public school this year."

"Now, I wouldn't say bullying," Mme. Bustier says, trying for a smile. "That's a bit too far."

"She's been the biggest bully in the entire school," Alya says, arms folded, eyes firm. "We told you how she destroyed Nathaniel, Juleka, Nino, Marinette's, and my work several times. She's vandalized everyone's work. She's insulted and personally attacked every person in class too many times to count. There's always evidence and several witnesses every single time."

"But what have you done? Nothing," Nino took his turn to rant. "You've never once stepped in because you coddle her and think she'll eventually change even though she's proven she is never going to change . And do you want to know why? Because of stuff like this. Chloé vandalized the purse Marinette made you out of pure spite yet you had the nerve to try and give her credit for it."

"You want us to fix Chloé when you should be doing that yourself," Marinette took the baton. "Instead of doing something a responsible teacher would. Like, suggest a counselor work with her, talk to her dad, or detentions when she acts like a horrible person. You throw the people who care and respect you under the bus. Beyond preaching about love and trust, you do nothing to help us deal with Chloe. Chloe doesn't respect anyone but herself."

"The akuma that turned you into Zombizou was only even here because it was most likely going after Marinette," Lyon was not happy when he figured that out. "We can add nearly getting the human embodiment of a cinnamon bun akumatized to her already very long list of bad things she's done."

"We are the victims of Chloé Bourgeois's bullying and you expect us to understand and excuse her behavior when she hurts us," Marinette continued. "But you will never think about it from our perspective and never when this is reversed. We're sorry, Ms.Bustier, but we don't want to be a part of a class with a teacher who has no respect for us and continues to let a bully hurt every single one of us."

Silence washed over the room after they were all finished. They were all just so done with the brat of Paris.

"Now that you have all gotten that off your chests, I find that it is time you all go back to class," Damocles tells them.

There were about five seconds of silence for the students to process what their principle tried to just make them do. They were about to blow their tops and start yelling and saying that he had lost his mind if he thought that just because they said all that means that they want to get away from Chloe any less than before.

But Marinette's mother, Sabine, came walking in. The look on her face and the way she simply sat down in the visitor's chair like she was supposed to be there in the first place was a little terrifying.

"You, kids, should go and wait in Ms.Bustier's classroom," she told them in a sweet voice that brought chills down their spines. "Your principal, teacher, and I have much to discuss."

They did as she said, everyone quickly leaving the office.

Seeing her mother like that made Marinette remember a time a few years ago when she was told about the Chinese zodiac. Her mother had told her that she, herself, had been born in the years of the tiger. Marinette never truly believed that until now.

"Marinette, your mother is awesome," Alya cheered. "How did she even know to come?"

"At that exact moment, too," Nino says. "That was perfect timing if I have ever seen it."

Marinette smirked as she held up her phone, that she had brought put earlier.

"My parents were listening the entire time we were in there," she snickered. "I figured that Principal Damocles wouldn't listen to us, so I brought out the big guns."

"After seeing your mother's wicked skills with a baking slab during that one time someone tried to break into the bakery last month, I do not doubt that," Vallia giggled.

Marinette slightly shivered as she remembered the beatdown that her mother delivered against a man that tried to rob their bakery. He had arrived just after closing time after nearly a week straight of having a line out the door after the debut of Marinette's Ladybug and Cat Noir baked goods line.

The robber thought that after such a long time of good days, they would have a lot of money lying around. While they did, he had no idea of her mother's past of being very well trained in the martial arts. She grabbed the nearest thing to her, a baking slab used mostly by pizza makers to put pizzas in their ovens, and he was a bloody mess on the floor by the time the cops came.

When Marinette put her phone away, the rest of the class seemed to catch on to her actions and decided to add their own pressure to the principal.

Alya whipped out her phone with a speed that only all of her blogging would have given her. Mylene was very theatrical with her phone call, doing a lot of talking with her hands as her arms waved around as she spoke. Rose and Nino were also quite enthusiastic with their phone calls, not that anything less was expected out of them. Ivan, Juleka, Nathaniel, and Max were a lot quieter when they made their calls. Kim and Alix, of course, were basically yelling into their phones.

When Marinette looked at the twins and Adrien, their phones were not out. It made sense with the twins, having told them that their dad, who came with them, did not speak any French. He was usually very confused whenever they went grocery shopping and one of the twins always had to come with him as a translator. With Adrien, with his very absentee father and non-family bodyguard and assistant/manager, he had no one to call for something like this.

"If you want, I could drag your father here by his hair," Lyon says to the blond. "Or threaten him with an arrow to get him here."

"Lyon, as much as I would appreciate that, both of those things are illegal," Adrien sighed, but Marinette could tell that he was tempted.

"Hasn't stopped me from threatening Chloe with my bow before," the Greek boy smirked. "And that was only when I had a very long breadstick notched in it, not even an actual arrow."

"As the daughter of a baker, I can tell you just how dangerous a stale piece of bread is," Marinette giggled.

One by one, other parents and guardians of their classmates came running or walking into the school.

Otis and Marlena Césaire were the first ones there. Otis was too angry to greet the kids, but Marlena happily gave her daughter a basket of food to give out before both parents vanished behind closed doors. Fred Haprèle, easily recognized from his movie roles, tipped his signature hat to the class before entering the office. Claudie Kanté was next to arrive, giving her son a hug before vanishing behind closed doors. Mr. Kubdel arrived with Jalil, both men looking angry as they passed the class, but Alix was given a thumbs up from her brother.

Mr.LêChiến, a military man, was very intimidating as he walked by after giving his son a pat on the back. It was very easy to see where Kim got his strength from. The same could be said for Ivan as Mr. and Mrs.Bruel greeted their son, as both parents could be compared to WWE superstars. Rose's mother, a keen gardener, was as bubbly and kind looking as her daughter and it was easy to see where Rose got her love of pink from. Mrs.Lahiff did some motherly things to her son after she arrived, also telling Marinette and Alya that they were welcome anytime before she too went into the office.

Madam Kurtzberg, Nathaniel's grandmother, was last to arrive with Captain Couffaine. Luka, having come with his and Juleka's mom, helped the elderly woman up the stairs.

"Rise and rebel, land lovers," Captain Couffaine cheered in the students as she passed them, making her two kids slightly embarrassed.

Luka just joined them in the classroom, sitting next to Marinette.

"All Juleka would say was to come to the school as quickly as possible and to not allow mom to bring her sword," he said.

"If I was Juleka, I would have let her bring her sword," Vallia snickered.

"Considering that I've seen you use your bo staff against an akuma, I can see why you would," Adrien said.

"You two have slight violent tendencies, don't you," Alya asks, only getting shrugs in response.

#chloe salt #original character #original miraculous #original heroes #bustier salt #damocles salt #i love salt

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adarlingsnightmare · 4 years ago

Text

Osamu Dazai Yandere Alphabet

this was requested by a lot of people and i wrote it awhile ago but am only posting it now bc i spent way too much time fussing over whether it was any good lol.

Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

One word: smothering. Dazai's idea of affection involves robbing you of your privacy and getting in your personal space as much as possible. He doesn't even care if you're not comfortable with it, so for anyone who doesn't like being touched, he's an absolute nightmare to be with. He especially likes to wrap his arms around your shoulders from behind and stand like that for as long as possible.

Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

As messy as necessary! He's more likely to get messy with you than with rivals, though. He is a sadist, but now that he has his precious darling this is all directed towards you, meaning his rivals get fairly swift deaths if Dazai does decide they need to die.

Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

As previously mentioned, Dazai is a sadist, and therefore loves to cause his darling pain whether that be physical or emotional. Despite this, he can act sweet and loving too, especially if you're not resistant. He does occasionally mock you, but it's not his main tactic of hurting you.

Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling's will?

Yes, definitely. His darling's wants and needs are completely meaningless to him. To his darling, he may even seem oblivious, but the truth is he just doesn't care. You said you don't want him to spike your drink? Oh, well that's just too bad.

Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

Surprisingly, Dazai will actually be himself around his darling, rather than putting on a persona. He believes that since he loves you, you should know his true self. You're the only person in the world who will ever get to see the real Dazai, though that isn't necessarily a good thing. Don't get excited though, this doesn't mean he is vulnerable, in fact he is probably worse now he doesn't have to restrain himself.

Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?

Mostly amused. A part of Dazai enjoys someone who fights back and won't give in easily, in fact you could even argue he is somewhat masochistic since he gets rather excited by your anger towards him.

Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

Certainly. Dazai is fascinated by human behaviour and watching you react to various torture and situations is his form of entertainment. He may eventually get irritated if you are constantly trying to escape, but he somewhat admires your resilience.

Hell: What would be their darling's worst experience with them?

Honestly, the whole experience is a nightmare because there is no chance of a good ending. Dazai can't be reasoned with, there are no compromises and it is guaranteed to end in tragedy. No matter how strong or smart you are, you can't escape. The best ending is for Dazai to kill you, because at least then your suffering will be over.

Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

Dazai never expected to live this long, so he's never bothered thinking about the future before, even when it comes to his darling. However, if it came down to it, he'd probably want something similar to the 'typical' married life: a house, loving partner and maybe some kids. He wants to feel more human and he figures acting like everyone else is a good start. Although, despite these fantasies, Dazai will never actually be able to live this life due to who he is.

Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

Oh, Dazai is the definition of jealous. He can't even handle the prospect of you thinking about someone else, let alone anything like actually talking to them. He has to be the centre of your world or he will literally go insane. He's not a hothead like Chuuya, so aside from a very tight grip on you and a dark glare, his jealousy won't be noticeable immediately. However, that's not to say he won't do anything about the situation — scheming on how he can ruin this persons life and if they really don't get the message, he supposes he'll just have to show them what happens to vermin who steal his darling's attention.

Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?

He still retains some of his cheery and mischievous persona, but make no mistake, once he's got you trapped, he'll reveal a much darker side. He likes to act oblivious to your suffering just to wind you up— oh, you're crying about how you want to be let out? so... anyways, what should we have for dinner? — and takes pleasure in both your despair and your anger towards him.

Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

Depending on which version of Dazai we're talking about here (Mafia or ADA), his way of courting will be different. If you meet while he's in the Port Mafia, he will be more creepy than romantic. Relying more on intimidation than charm, he'll spend his time sadistically toying with you and jumping out of nowhere to wrap his arms around you in a suffocating hold. ADA!Dazai is pretty much the complete opposite— overwhelming you with endless gifts (mainly pricey chocolate and flowers), reciting cheesy love poetry, flirting constantly and of course always asking you whether you'd commit a double suicide with him.

Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?

Definitely. While Dazai appears as a cheerful, suicidal maniac with a penchant for troublemaking, he is actually quite different. Around you he does retain some of his facade, but the cracks will show and it'll be undoubtedly unsettling. He deceives you with his sweeter, more carefree side, before he reveals the merciless, cynical person he truly is.

Naughty: How would they punish their darling?

Punishing his darling is Dazai's favourite thing... much to the disdain of his darling. He'll punish you for just about anything and half the time he won't even explain what you've done wrong, simply wanting an excuse to have his fun. His punishment can take many forms, usually sexual, and always teaches you a lesson. The punishments you receive depend on whether we're talking about mafia!Dazai or ADA!Dazai, the former typically based around humiliation and the latter around degradation and pain. (I have quite a few ideas but I didn't want to write too much on this here).

Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?

Rights? Freedom? What are those? You don't know because you haven't experienced the feeling of independence and being able to make your own decisions since Dazai took an interest in you. He's an unbearably jealous person so he can't allow you to even look at other people, let alone talk to them. Despite how much you prove your loyalty to Dazai, he will still refuse to loosen his suffocating hold over you and your freedom.

Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

If Dazai thinks it's worth it, he can wait for just about anything, so he is usually relatively patient with his darling. I say 'usually', because while he doesn't mind waiting, he prefers his darling to respond to his questions and advances instantly and you risk getting punished if you don't. Unfortunately for you, you'll never know how patient he's feeling so it's always best to just be alert and reply immediately when he asks you something.

Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

Definitely not. Dazai's life felt pointless until he met his beloved darling, so you leaving/dying would absolutely destroy him and increase his suicidal tendencies tenfold. Without his raison d'être what point is there in continuing to live?

Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?

Guilt? Why on earth would Dazai feel guilty? He needs his darling to be around him pretty much 24/7 and kidnapping is the safest option for everyone, why should he feel guilty? I mean, who knows what kind of havoc Dazai would wreak if he couldn't have you by his side...

Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

Dazai's own ability describes exactly just how disconnected from other people he feels, so it's no surprise that he doesn't really understand love. It's the curiosity of what it's like to be human — to be like everyone else — that will compel him to pursue his darling to the point it develops into an obsession. You'll also have to be different enough to keep his attention, perhaps being eccentric in your own way or being extremely hard to read. He can't feel genuine love, at least not like others do, but he can feel intense obsession and that may be even more dangerous.

Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

Unsurprisingly, Dazai enjoys his darling's tears and despair, being the sadist he is. However, he only likes it when he's the cause of your pain or distress, if you were crying because of someone else it would infuriate him to no end.

Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

He appears like the typical delusional and deranged yandere, but he's actually very calculating and certainly lucid. He's fully aware of everything he's doing and how wrong it is, but does he care? Not in the slightest.

Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

Honestly, it's hard to think of ways you could escape Dazai as he is extremely smart and unlike some other yanderes, no matter how compliant you are he will never let down his guard in the slightest. The only possibility is to kill him: whether that's by poisoning his food, smothering him in his sleep or biting down so hard on his neck he bleeds out. Either way, resorting to murder is the most plausible way of escaping.

Wit's end: Would they ever hurt their darling?

Of course! What's the point of being with your beloved if you can't inflict a little pain onto them? Pain will be a daily occurrence for you as nothing is more melodic to Dazai than your cries of pain.

Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

While Dazai doesn't worship you per say, he does see you as ethereal— an angel that he feels compelled to ruin. Since doesn't see himself as human, you are very different to him in his mind. He wants someone else to feel as inhuman as he does, which is why he takes great pleasure in destroying your humanity. He isn't worried about winning you over either; he may appear like he is trying to do so, but he knows that if you don't return his advances he can just make you love him.

Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

As mentioned previously, Dazai can be very patient when he wants to be and has no problem playing the long game if he feels it is necessary. He won't kidnap you immediately: preferring to slowly worm his way into your life so that by the time you realise his true, much darker intentions, it's already too late to escape.

Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?

Well, he wants to mould his darling into the perfect submissive little kitten, so yes it is likely he would break them down until all he had to do was rebuild them in the image he wanted. Even if you genuinely love him back and want to be with him, Dazai will still tear down your mental stability to the point of complete reliance on him. He's never experienced any real love from another person before or been in an actual relationship, so it's safe to say his views on love are a little skewed. However, after he had completely broken you, Dazai would feel the closest he can to regret. He doesn't actually want you to be a lifeless doll, but unfortunately he only realises this after you're already too far gone.

#yandere x reader #yandere imagine #yandere dazai #yandere bsd #yandere #osamu dazai x reader #yandere osamu dazai #yandere bungou stray dogs #dazai x reader #yandere alphabet #osamu dazai #tw yandere #tw abuse #yandere scenario #yandere headcanons #bsd imagine #bsd x reader #yandere male

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hadtochangemyurlquick · 4 years ago

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i saw in your bio your pronouns are “she/her probs” if you wouldn’t mind could you elaborate on that? you 100% don’t have to bc at the end of the day it’s none of my business but i’ve been thinking a lot about my own gender identity recently and your pronouns caught my eye

okay so basically, when i was born the doctor wasn’t there, he was helping out the teenage girl next door, and my mom had done it a bunch of times already so it was kinda no big deal? so there was no one there to be like “it’s a girl!” and i’ve been chasing that high ever since.

i was the youngest of too many, growing up on street with only little boys and my parents were never home so we’d basically be out and about until like 11pm trying to decide which god from the greek mythos was our secret parent and never once was i a girl with them we just didn’t have gender it didn’t exist

my two older sisters were extremely close whereas my two older brothers were hated each other and I was close with both of them individually so i never interacted with my sisters bc they were always hanging out together

when i started being a woman in middle school (my mom said I had to :/ ) i didn’t do it right and the first question i got asked was “are you a boy or are you a lesbian?”

i was so obsessed with looking like my older brother i kept my hair super super long and to this day he hasn’t cut it he keeps it in a man bun but i cut mine short directly after high school so i could go to an hwc like the fucking lesbian i am

the first girl i dated had four fingers in total on both her hands, not counting thumbs, and we fell in love play wrestling and like, physically rough housing, like i had with the little boys on my street growing up. she plays the viola to this day i think

when i first saw my now ex-boyfriend my first thought was, he’s either a lesbian or he’s trans, and to this day he’s identified as every label on the lgbtqa spectrum which is funny to me

i like the way i look in a binder but maybe that’s just cause i hate my body and want to punish it?

growing up i played a bunch of sports bc the commutes were the only guaranteed time alone i had with my dad and it was on a softball field in sixth grade that i realized i was a lesbian while looking at the short stop. her sister was a lesbian but the girl i liked was very straight :/

every dress i buy makes me look like an ethereal woodland goddess except for the one i bought that makes me look like a witch, and i look objectively gorgeous in them all except i dont wanna be pretty i want girls to jump out of their boots when they see me so i can catch them in my big strong arms and carry them home

once this kid i had a crush on and i watched the carmilla movie together. they were dating someone and i was pretty sure i was in love with them and when the sex scene came on i did not kiss them which i am both proud of and deeply regret

we also watched the miseducation of cameron post together with similar results

my grandfather carried around a pocket knife around with him everywhere bc he wanted to be useful, i carry around a backpack with a playing deck, a phone charger, a portable charger, a charger for my portable charger, a bar, bandaids, hand sanitizer, pen, pencil, notepad, pencil sharpener, a candle, a flashlight, a compass, matches, a book, lip stuff, pads, tampons, advil, neosporin, and a knife.

my dad has a big leather jacket i steal from him constantly and it’s big and brown and i keep an acorn in the pocket of it like i’m a stardew valley character who might need a nature snack. it’s very good for hiding in and definitely conceals my body

whenever i go shopping with my sisters they always try and dress me up as femininely as possible, despite neither of them being feminine in the slightest. whenever i go shopping with my brother i always empty my wallet. so i dont go shopping.

once i explained this problem to a close friend and he dropped off four shirts and those are pretty much the only thing i wear now. i found one pair of jeans that fit and i just wash those when they get dirty and hope low rise comes back into fashion eventually cause high rise hurts my belly

over time my friend group and family (extended family) has become increasingly trans allowing me to explore my gender for what it is, i don’t feel as though i always need to present anything bc often they’re too tired or in chronic pain to present anything either. in truth, my name is not gus, but it’s one i’m considering going by offline and that a few friends call me. i have warned my fam that i might change my name and pronouns and they were all like :/// okay sweetie, but not they/them okay? the grammar would be a nightmare which like. i’ll take it. they accepted me being a theater kid when i thought i was a theater kid, i’ll give ‘em a break on this one

this snl sketch is a very good thing that was made, my sister is one of those women at the beginning, she’s extremely fashion minded and so smart and aesthetic. the line ‘as a child you were humiliated in a kohls fitting room where your mother said something so harmful it seared off the top layer of your brain”

it was actually my mother’s room where i had been called fat one too many times by my brother and went to her and asked if i was. she said i could stand to lose a few.

my mother really struggled to lose her own baby weight as she had me late in life and with so many kids financial woes didn’t really ease out until i was maybe 7? 8? i didn’t realize at the time but she was looking at her reflection in one of the big mirrors she had in her room and even if she was talking to me she wasn’t talking to me, you know?

my mom did eventually lose the weight and got really in shape, like insanely in shape, she can now outrun god and dead lift satan on the days where her knee isn’t bothering her.

what else what else.

this poem:

“the tomboy grew up and she never went tame and she never found boys or makeup or nothing – nothing wrong with the girls who did but also it’s not inevitable, this progression womanhood rejected you, because where are the grownup tomboys? there’s no room for the rough-and-tumble girls to become rough-and-tumble foulmouthed broad-shouldered women. it’s alright to play at, daughter, they told you, but you have to grow up, and you were confused because you were playing at nothing the tomboy grew up, nonetheless. and instead of wrestling with friends she wrestled with herself for a while. but despite what they said, here she is, still rough, still wild. don’t believe the lies, daughter. grow as you need to. allow yourself to be pruned only to become stronger. grow bold and proud, daughter, like the trees that give you shelter, tomboy, wild girl. love the girls you dream of being strong for and the friends who bear you up when the storms shake your roots. there is value in the crabapple trees, wild daughter, even if the orchard-keeper turns up his nose. know this always, daughter: i love you exactly as you are, and however you need to be” by @sailorshadow

for julia in nebraska by addrienne rich

my friend got me that shirt during quarantine and i got the haircut a few weeks later

on the subject of rita mae brown who wrote ruby fruit jungle, i read the book while overseas in two days, didn’t look up the entire time, and was one of the first gay books i read. one of the things i loved about it was how the speaker was so unapologetically herself. how it ends on a note of bitter strength and triumphant defeat. i reread it while in georgia last year and found i had outgrown it. you might find some comfort in it, idk, just watch out bc there is some terf stuff in it? it aint perfect so just keep an eye out for that, it doesn’t ruin the book i don’t think, there’s other good stuff in it.

here’s some pictures of men:

growing up i was also surrounded by picture books, my grandmother was a children’s book librarian, and here are a couple of important figures:

then how to catch an elephant by amy schwartz but in particular this page:

and i’m sure i’m forgetting things but here’s my gender euphoria playlist:

i’m sure there’s stuff i’m not thinking of but i think that’s the gist of it? if you have any questions feel free to ask

ope! i almost forgot a couple of other important things:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hq27hcPTzDo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ENxbcvUXfnM

hope this helps you on your journey!!!!!!

#gus answers #about me #rec me songs if you have any that have helped you!!!!!

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ruthoakenshield · 4 years ago

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Very Good Friends (Chapter 8)

Catch up here: [Chapter 1] [Chapter 2] [chapter 3] [Chapter 4] [Chapter 5] [Chapter 6] [Chapter 7]

Reader x Henry Cavill, Reader x co-star named Dan

Warning: This tale is for 18+ readers ONLY!!! Mentions of flashbacks: (rape, anal sex, non-con sex, abuse), severe bruising and injury, mentions of suicidal thoughts, depression, humiliation, and some fluff to make us feel better. Smut comes later on in the story… Several chapters down the road… I promise!!!

If ANY of the warnings upset you or make you uncomfortable, DO NOT read below the cut! go find something else to read in this case.

If you are okay with reading those things then enjoy the tale below the cut.

Feedback and reblogs are appreciated. I do not own Henry nor do I have any personal knowledge of him besides what is common knowledge amongst the Cavillary. Any mistakes and typos are mine, story is not beta-tested. GIF I got from the tumbler search thingy.

Sunday morning arrives and it is cloudy and raining. Henry lays on the bed, listening to the pitter-patter of the rain hitting the trailer as you sleep, head still on his Pec. Arms wrapped around his broad chest and fingers holding his shirt. your body still wrapped in the comforter burrito. Neither of you shifted positions as you slept, and he still has his cheek resting against your head. The scent of peppermint still comforting his thoughts. He smiles realizing you seemed to sleep through the night with no nightmares this time. He hopes you finally got some much needed rest.

He thinks about the things the counselor said yesterday and he wonders if the self-defense class would help you like it did the other women. It certainly couldn’t hurt. He thought it might help you if he took the class as well. Then you both could spar together. He decided he’d talk to you about it when you woke up.

He wondered if you would like to try drawing or painting or creative writing to help you sort things out in your pretty little head of yours. He decided to ask you about it as well.

It was the beginning of August and it was chilly now in the mornings and evenings. He hadn’t turned on the furnace in the trailer yet. Though you were in your comforter burrito, he was for the most part uncovered and a little chilly. He made a mental note to have maintenance check the furnace and turn it on for him.

Henry hears his phone chirp, and he glances over to the nightstand where it sat. He reaches over and frowns when he sees it’s his publicist. He grabs his phone and unlocks it to see the message from his publicist: “Henry, FYI: Someone leaked what happened to the paparazzi, but are playing Dan as the victim. They’re having a heyday. Try to keep y/n off of social media and away from tv. Her publicist and I are teaming up with the studio’s trying to do damage control. Be careful who you talk with and share info with till we find out who the leaker is.” It read.

He quickly replies to her: “The only people we’ve talked to about any of this is the hospital staff, the police, the executive of the studio and the counselor besides my agent, you, y/n’s agent and her publicist, and my PA. I don’t know if y/n talked with her PA at all. What all is being said about y/n?” Henry asks.

She replies: “They’re saying she is falsely accusing him and that she forced him, and wanted it rough and that she was mad at him for rejecting her repeated attempts to get him to date her. She’s being labeled as a whore, who is trying to ruin his career.

Sounds to us like it’s his agent trying to set her up to take the blame so Dan can get off scott free since she is new to the business. They seem to think she can be used as the scapegoat.

There’s several of your castmates who have already posted to social media defending y/n and saying that Dan was the one harassing her and not taking no for an answer and that HE was the one wanting to date her and she refused him repeatedly. They also stated that she didn’t show up for his going away party and was the only one to do so. (Though they don’t know her reason for not showing up – no one has been told of her injuries yet except the studio heads, the director and the producers.)

The studio is trying to figure out if they can salvage the film now or if they are going to have to scrap it now that Dan’s fucked it up with this PR stunt. There’s talk of going after him for damages if the film flops or if they have to scrap it or delay it and have his role recast and refilm all his scenes.” His publicist texts him.

Henry groans, making you stir. He caresses your head, and you fall back asleep. Henry rubs his face, his brows knitted, and his forehead creased with worry.

“Ugh!!! Ok. What do you want me to do? She’s staying in my trailer and is REALLY struggling to come to terms with all this. She’s been having nightmares and last night was the first night she didn’t have them and slept soundly (on my chest).” Henry messages back.

“I’ll ask the director. I think we need to let the cast see y/n and talk to her; or show them the photos of the injures she sustained and explain to them their extent, so they know just how badly she’s been hurt. I have the photos from the PD in case we needed to have evidence shared of her injuries. I’ve edited them so her face isn’t showing, and her privates are covered. The arm, thigh and torso bruising and the obvious hand bruises on her neck should be sufficient to convince them.

Everyone was wondering why her trailer was being searched by the PD and why it was removed, then Dan pulls this PR stunt and eveyone’s asking me and her PR what’s going on. All we told them was that Dan attacked y/n and raped her the night before the party. But they don’t know how badly she was hurt.

The doctor I spoke with who treated her said she had serious lesions both in her ass and her vagina and throat from what Dan did to her, and that they had bled heavily from the sex. He suspected that Dan had some kind of ribbed sleeve or harness with stiff ribs or nubs on it that was scraping her as he had his way with her that caused the lesions. He said they are meant to be used with lube and there was no lube in her at all in neither of her holes nor her throat. He said it would’ve been incredibly painful and exposed her to a high risk for infection and STD’s if he had any.

The police found an empty box of condoms in her bedroom garbage. It contained 36 originally, when they searched the bedroom garbage and the bathroom one, they came up with all 36 of them and most of them had her blood and his semen in/on them. They also found dildos in varying sizes, some insanely bizarre, in Dan’s possession with her DNA on them buy only his hand / finger prints when they arrested him at his trailer. Judging by the security cameras’ he was in her trailer almost 12 hours.” She informs Henry.

He lays there in shock, he rubs his face and looks down at you. His face red with anger realizing you most likely endured at least 7 hours of this kind of torture. He cups your head with his hand and kisses your forehead. Wishing he had only known Dan’s intent and could’ve stopped it.

“Oh God! She said they watched one movie and she had put in the second one. Then she doesn’t remember what happened after that other than waking up twice to Dan fucking her. So, he was there at least two hours before he began to assault her sexually! God only knows how long it lasted and if he slept at all or raped her the entire time!” Henry replies. “I can’t imagine what she went through! No wonder she is emotionally shutting down and trying to just retreat inward! No wonder why she’s hurting physically SO bad!” he adds.

Henry caresses your head and back, he sighs. Not sure what to do now or how to help you. He just wants to cry knowing now, what you most likely endured. It was worse than anyone could’ve imagined. He hopes the cops throw the book at his idiot co-star. It just makes him sick what Dan did.

He snaps a photo of you asleep on his chest with his hand on your back, keeping his face out of the photo. Posting it to his Instagram page, he writes. “I am thinking of and praying for this wonderful, talented, incredibly kind, patient and amazing woman. You’ve endured more horrors than I could possibly imagine! I’m glad to know you and my support, thoughts and prayers are with you, Kitten, during this rough patch. You’ll get through it and shine all the brighter in the end. Keep your chin up our brave sweetheart, rest when you can, and don’t give up! We got your back!”

He sighs again and locks his screen. Setting it face down, he looks down at you and shakes his head in both amazement of what all you’ve endured, and sadness because he was not there to protect you and stop it. His heart aches for you. He closes his eyes and just holds you trying to be as supportive as he can.

About an hour later, he gets a group text from the director, producers and executive of the studio. “Please come to a meeting at the studio office today at 2pm to discuss current events and future plans for the film. Henry, bring y/n with you.”

Henry visibly cringes at the message. It either means they’re scrapping it, or they’re going forward and have some serious plans hoping to make this film work.

Henry carefully turns the two of you onto your sides, with you against the pillows you had propped there behind you when you climbed in next to him. He gently peels your arms off his shirt and he carefully slips himself out from beside you, propping you with more pillows to keep you hopefully asleep and comfortable for a while yet. He suspects his phone is going to blow up now and doesn’t want to disturb you.

Henry turns the ringer off, so it just vibrates and keeps it in his pants pocket as he gets up and heads for the bathroom. He does his thing and gets freshened up and goes into his room and changes clothes. About a half hour later, he starts getting messages from the other costars asking what’s going on. He sighs and does a conference call with them all while he is in the guest bathroom on the opposite end of the trailer, trimming his beard stubble, so you weren’t bothered.

He tells them he can’t say much about what’s going on until the meeting. He explains you’re staying with him in his trailer because it is where you currently feel safe and protected, and that you are really struggling with what happened to you. He asks them to please be supportive of you and to respect your need to just cope.

They ask if what Dan is claiming is true and Henry tells them no, it is quite the opposite. “Just be careful who you talk to about this. There’s a leaker somewhere and we haven’t been able to find out who it is. When we get to the meeting you all will be filled in with exactly what happened and how bad it really is. Until then, don’t comment to anyone about any of this.”

They ask if he has any idea if the film will continue or be scrapped. “I have no idea. My agent said they were trying to figure out what to do, there was talk of scrapping it if there’s no way to save it, depending on the public outcry; they talked about replacing Dan with a different actor and re-filming all the scenes he was in, and there was talk of going after Dan for damages depending on what is decided. I have no idea what option they chose or if they came up with other options. “It’s a PR nightmare thanks to Dan deciding to be an asshole.” Henry tells them.

“How is y/n doing, Henry? I mean really.” One co-star asks. Henry sighs, “She’s struggling big time. I am too. She is hurting immensely, both physically and emotionally. She’s been having nightmares and struggling to get restful sleep because of what Dan did to her. It just makes me sick to know what he did and be powerless to really help besides holding her and letting her cry and trying to be supportive and encouraging. You’ll understand when you see her. I hope they throw the book at Dan for what he did. He’s a monster as far as I’m concerned. No woman should have to go through what he did to her!” Henry growls, trying to keep quiet and not wake you up.

They are all quiet. “Henry, would you mind if we left her some encouragement outside your trailer? We don’t want to disturb her or anything, just want to let her know we’re thinking about her and support her in this and that we’re here for her. Whatever she needs.” They ask.

“That’s fine, guys. I’m sure she’ll appreciate any support we can give her. This isn’t going to be a fast recovery by any means.” He tells them.

“She’s such a great gal, Hen, I’m so sorry to hear Dan hurt her so badly. She was such a little ray of sunshine on set, always smiling and bubbly.” One costar comments. There’s murmuring of agreement amongst the co-stars. “Yeah, we all saw how Dan would treat her on set. I regret not reporting him now.” another costar says. Others murmur similar regret. “Well if you hear noise outside the trailer, don’t be alarmed, it’s just us. Okay, Hen?” they tell him. “Okay guys. We’ll see you around 2pm.” He tells them and hangs up.

More chapters to come...

Please reblog and share if you like this story so far! Please and thank you!!!

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mrallnight57-blog · 3 years ago

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The Crystal of Mordokia

Chapter 15

As Litias told the story of Billbo H Hero. The two of them had made there way to the fourth floor. Once there. Litias took Jenny to a room at the end of the hallway, this was the room that Litias slept in.

Jenny had listened to Litias's story, yet she still had many questions. Once the two of them got into the room. Litias went to her bed, and began pulling a trunk from underneath her bed. That's when Jenny started asking questions. "So this Billbo, he was some kind..."

Before Jenny could finish the question. Litias turned to her and cut her off. "Shhhh! Don't say his name. He might hear you, and neither one of us are prepared to face him. No... from this point on, just call him The Hero.

Jenny raised an eyebrow. "He is more like a monster."

Litias got up into Jenny's face. "No, pretty one. I'm the monster. I am the Dark Witch, the all powerful Ruler of Mordokia!" Litias paused for a moment. Then begrudgingly said in a low voice. "Ex-Ruler of Mordokia."

Now Jenny was beginning to become more curious about Litias, but she knew that would have to wait for later. Right now she needed to get all the info she could on Billbo, or Litias preferred name for him, The Hero.

Litias opened up the trunk, and her demeanor changed. It was as if this strange creature was genuinely happy.

Litias pulled out a old parchment, and more excitement came over the creature. Jenny even picked up a little giddiness in Litias's voice as she spoke. "Ah yes! This is when he battled the ogre king!" Litias put the parchment down, and grabbed another one. This made Litias even more giddy. This is when he found the treasure of Goldoff!" Litias grabbed another parchment with her other hand. The creature's eyes widen, and she got even more excited. "Oh!!! This is when he battled the two headed dragon Korn Tello!!!" Litias gave Jenny the look of someone who had just came out of a fan convention. "Did you know The Hero was only ten years old, when he defeated his first dragon!?!"

Jenny's eyes widen. "He slayed his first dragon, when he was ten years old?"

Litias quickly shook it's head no. "Not slayed. Defeated. Korn Tello was still alive, the last time I was on Mordokia." Suddenly Litias spoke in a somber tone. "The Hero didn't believe in killing. Thought everyone deserved a second chance. That is why the Dark magic makes him do it. A punishment for interfering with the Difias's quest.

Jenny was carefully watching Litias. She couldn't help but feel as if Litias, the creature who claimed to be a dark witch, seemly admired The Hero. Litias was acting like a child telling it's new best friend, about their favorite super hero. The only difference was, Litias was unlike any child Jenny had ever seen, and the creature's favorite super hero threatened to kill everyone in the building.

Jenny kept her eyes on Litias as it continued to rummage through it's trunk. Not knowing much about Litias, and it's relationship with The Hero. It made her wonder if the two of them had ever met. As Jenny was about to ask the question, Litias cut her off. "No. I've never battled The Hero. He was before my time. You forget pretty one. This all happened over two thousand years ago."

Jenny's eyes widen. She never actually ask the question, plus now she wanted to know how old Litias was, but before she could inquire, Litias spoke again. "I'm one thousand eight hundred and fifty seven years old." Jenny's was in complete shock. Litias then followed it up by saying. "Apparently, for my kind, that is very young."

Litias was still pulling out stuff from her trunk, and Jenny was becoming more dumbfounded, it was at this point she thought about Gothic Mirror, and knowing it was this creature that probably taught him everything he knew. She came to the conclusion, Litias could read her mind. Jenny was going to say something, but Litias interrupted her again. "Yes Pretty One, I can read your mind."

"Can you stop!?!" Jenny finally got a word out, and was becoming frustrated.

Litias gave Jenny a look of a scolded child. "Meaah. I'm just making sure you don't try to hurt me."

Jenny settled down. "I'm not going to hurt you."

"Good." Litias seemed happy with Jenny's response. Then added. "It's not like you could anyways." Trust me when I say, many heroes have tried, and I humiliated every single one of them."

Jenny smiled. "Well all of them except, you know who."

Litias shrieked. "Meeaaaah!!! I was never suppose to fight him, and now he is here!"

The two of them had a awkward moment of silence, but after a few moments, Jenny began speaking. "Look... If you want me help you defeat him. Then I still need some information. So I can fully understand what I am up against.

Litias gave Jenny a look of annoyance. "Why would you help me Pretty One? I'm a creature of pure evil, and he is a hero."

Jenny folded her arms. "Well The Hero said he was going to kill everyone if I don't stop him, and you haven't."

Litias gave a faint laugh. "Not yet."

Jenny gave Litias a dirty look, and Litias said. "Fine. What would you like to know?"

Jenny unfolded her arms, and gave Litias another dirty look. "Don't read my mind this time. I want to actually be able to ask the questions."

Litias, once again acted like a scolded child. "Fine... I see you take the fun out of everything, don't you? Ask your questions."

Jenny was trying to think what she should ask first. Everything about Litias and it's story seemed unbelievable. Finally she decided to ask some basic questions.

"So I know the hero isn't a demon, what is he exactly?"

Litias growled, then the creature began mumbling in a language Jenny didn't understand as it stared at the floor. Finally the creature looked back at Jenny, and began speaking. "I hate to have to explain it this way. Have you ever seen," Litias gave a look of disgust. "Lord of the Rings?"

Jenny let out a bit of a chuckle. "Yeah. I watched it with my dad as a kid. I really only watched it to spend time with him. It was one of his favorite movies." Litias gave another look of discuss. Then Jenny had a epiphany. "Bilbo was the name of one of those little guys, you know, the one with the r.."

Litias quickly cut her off. "Stop!!!" Litias seemed to be getting angry. "That damn Tolkien! He got everything wrong! For fuck sake he thought Billbo was a Kender, and even misspelled his name."

Jenny raised an eyebrow. "Kender?"

Litias rolled her eyes. "Excuse me. I guess you would call them hobbits."

"Is there a difference?" Jenny asked.

"Yes." Litias replied. "You see Hobbits, went on a quest, to destroy the one ring in a volcano. Kenders would trade the one ring for a stock of celery."

Jenny wanted to laugh. She even wanted to ask some follow-up questions about these creatures, but realized she was getting off topic, and needed to refocus. "So if The hero is not a Kender, or whatever. What is he?"

"He's an Elf." Litias stared at Jenny as she answered her question. Then followed it up with. "At least Half-Elf, but it has always been up to debate, what the other half was."

Jenny thought about it for a moment, then asked. "I thought Elves were short and fat."

Litias shook it's head. "No, those are dwarves."

Jenny was now scratching her head, then she snickered. "Well I prefer the Elves that make cookies, or Christmas presents." Litias just stared at Jenny. Then Jenny followed it up by saying. "Sorry. I tend to make jokes in stressful situations. It's how I keep my sanity.

Litias continued to stare for another moment, until finally the creature went. "Ha." Then it went back to staring at Jenny.

Jenny thought about her next question. As Litias sat on the end of the bed. Jenny decided to sit next, to her, but left space between them, before she asked her next question. "You said The Hero, was half elf. Could the other half be human?"

Litias let out a hard laugh. "That is the problem with you humans. You all want to be part of everything. Earth is the only world I have been to that has humans. Yet when you fools make up stories about my world, you arrogantly put yourself in as the hero."

"Is that so?" Jenny replied. Jenny scooted just a little bit closer to Litias. "Tell me this then. How are we telling stories about your world, if humans have never been there?"

Litias let out a little growl, which caused Jenny to move away from the creature. Then Litias began to answer. "You been around the crystal, haven't you?" Jenny nodded. Litias continued. "That sickness you feel, the dread, and nightmares it gives when someone is exposed to it. The crystal has been on earth for over two thousand years. Even though the ones who are closest to it feels it's effects immediately. The orra it gives off still travels. It's possible that over time you humans had succumbed to visions, which turned into stories, creating a entire genre.

Basically, I'm saying, what you humans call fantasy, was once my reality."

Jenny was now thinking about the story Dan told her earlier. "I heard that those visions, turned nightmares, may have droven some to suicide."

Litias smiled. "You mean like one of the archeologist that found the crystal?" Jenny nodded, realizing that Litias had probably read her mind again. Litias snickered. "Don't lose any sleep over it. After the man died. It was discovered that he had a large amount of child pornography on his computer."

Jenny's eyes widen. The only thought going through her head now was, damn! Even when trapped in the crystal. He still found ways to kill bad people.

Jenny shook that thought out of her head, then came to a realization. "So you're telling me that dragons, elves, dwarves, and ogre all exist?"

Litias gave a slight smile. "Yes... In one form or another."

Jenny sat there in shock. Normally she would think that the person she was talking to was insane, but considering the fact, the person she was talking to wasn't even human, made everything it said, far more believable.

Litias stood up and walked to a door that was in the room, she opened it up and it lead to another room. As Litias entered the adjacent room, Jenny followed her. Once in there Jenny noticed Litias had a desk. Litias picked up a parchment that was on the desk and began looking at it. Jenny looked around the room and saw another bed, she then sat down on the foot of that bed and asked. "Is that another one of The Hero's story?"

Litias turned it's attention back to Jenny. "You're funny pretty one. You must think all I do is sit around, reading stories about The Hero."

Jenny smiled. "Well you could have fooled me."

Litias frowned. "It's a spell. Similar to the one that put The Hero in the Crystal. I'm going to need to memorize if I'm going to battle the hero."

Jenny raised an eyebrow. Why did Litias have that spell on it's desk? Did Litias think there was a possibility of The Hero escaping the crystal tonight?

Jenny didn't want to think about it to much, she was once again letting herself get off topic. She needed to focus, and figure out what she was truly up against. "Look if we are going to work together, I need to know what kind of powers The Hero has."

Litias put the parchment down, and began pacing around the room. "He has many. He is extremely strong, and fast. He can summon his legendary weapon out of thin air. Any ability he sees, he can mimic it, and do it better. He can transport himself anywhere he wants. He can even read the soul of anyone he meets."

Jenny stared at Litias. She was completely puzzled about the last thing, the creature said. "What do you mean, he can read soul of anyone he meets?

Litias stopped pacing and let out a sigh. "The Hero can look inside one's soul, and see everything they have ever done. Everything they have said. All the knowledge one person has, can become his in a blink of an eye. Afterwards the victim will become disoriented, feeling as if hours have just passed them by."

After listening to Litias, she began to mumble. "That's how he knew everything about me."

Litias watched Jenny for a moment, then the creature asked. "Is there anything else you want to know? If not, I need to return to the task of memorization."

Jenny looked at Litias. "So with soul ability, he can judge whether someone is good or evil, and he will kill the one's he deems evil first, right?"

Litias growled. "Yes, that's why he can't know I'm here."

Jenny shrugged. "I wouldn't worry about him coming for you anytime soon. He has plenty of other bad people to deal with tonight."

Litias eyes widen. "What do you mean?"

At this point Jenny realized that Litias probably wasn't fully aware of everything going on. "The Gothic Lights are putting on a concert, with a popular band, and has hired a really nasty motorcycle gang to be their security. They are doing this to promote the arrival of the Demon.

Litias began freaking out. "No!!! That fool Travis promised he would only have a few of his followers here, when I gave him the contract!"

Jenny didn't understand how Litias didn't know what was going on. "How did you not know about the concert?"

Litias, who was now enraged, yelled at Jenny. "I was asleep!!!"

Jenny gave Litias a confused look. "You must have been asleep for a long time not to know about this."

"Yes!!!" Litias screamed. "I've been asleep for the last six months!"

Jenny's eyes widen, but before she could inquire further, Litias continued speaking. "I can go many years with out sleep, but at some point I have to recharge my magic. I went into hibernation six months ago. During that time, Travis was suppose to be working on away to get me the crystal, now I see he has been far more busy than I expected."

Jenny interrupted Litias. "He killed a person, to bring you that crystal."

Litias looked to be bothered by what Jenny just said. She stood silently for a moment, before mumbling something in a language Jenny didn't understand. Then Litias spoke in English again. "That is none of my concern. My concern is to trade contract for the crystal, and to take my prizes. Once that is done, I will leave your world."

Jenny raised an eyebrow again. "Prizes? Besides the crystal, what else was he suppose to get you?"

Litias smiled. "Nothing, I was going to retrieve my other prize myself."

Jenny became worrisome. "Where is this other prize?"

Litias laughed. "Don't worry pretty one, I already have it now."

Jenny knew it was pointless to keep asking her about the other prizes, because the creature apparently didn't want to talk about it, and she knew she couldn't make her. There was still a big problem though. The contract, she couldn't let it get into the hands of Travis, Aka Gothic Mirror.

#supernatural #super hero #horror #my writing

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ateezmakemeweep · 5 years ago

Photo

richboy!seonghwa (part 12)

word count: 5k

slight angst, fluff

(part 11) (series masterlist)

the feeling of a someone's soft touch on your face rouses you from sleep, eyebrows furrowing and a small groan leaving your mouth as you bury yourself further into your warm pillow. or at least that's what you thought it was until it started chuckling, until lips gently grazed your head and caused your eyes to pop open in surprise.

you blink as you adjust to the brightness of the room and your heart reacts before you can even see clearly. racing and twisting and lurching at the sight of seonghwa, all messy hair and rosy cheeks as he smiles softly at you in your bed.

"hi," he mumbles, morning voice deep and gruff and making you even more shy. because if that wasn't enough, being buried in his chest and having your legs tangled together is surely gonna do it.

"oh..hey," you squeak out and now you're already trying to remember what exactly happened last night. because you can see in the way he's looking at you, soft and guarded and anticipating that it had to have been something tragic. and if that much didn't make it obvious, the way you're cuddled into his chest is the biggest indication you needed some sort of comfort last night.

the last parts of your night are fuzzy, you just know you threw up (you're still humiliated), that hongjoong was fighting someone (something to do with an apple?), you walked back with yeosang and got into a snowball fight and then-

"are you gonna kiss my cheek, too?"

your own voice rings in your ear and you resist the urge to slap your hands over your face in embarrassment. you didn't say that. why would you think it's okay to say that? or for you to do shots? or better yet, for you to just come here in the-

"if you had to kiss someone, would it be me or seonghwa?"

and now you really can't hold back the gasp that escapes your mouth, getting hit with the vision of yeosang looming over you. his head cocked to the side as he holds your arm in his hand, staring down at you with that rare look of soft brown in his eyes while they shift to your lips every so often and what the-

"are you good? do you...remember?"

the quiet concern in seonghwa's voice brings you back, shaking the thoughts from your head because you think your brain is about to go into overdrive. you peer up at him, biting your lip at his expression and you reluctantly shake your head.

"i..i remember yeosang walking me in," you say quickly because that's not a lie, you do, but it's nowhere near as concerning as what happened fifteen minutes prior. "and then-"

hazy memories of your dreams finally flash in your mind, or more so the bedroom that plagued your nightmare. you remember feeling the cold, hard bed underneath you, the pressure of a body on you, your broken pleas and his harsh voice echoing in your head.

"oh god," you mumble, "i...i dreamed of-" you can't get his name out but you feel seonghwa's hand on your arm immediately, rubbing over your warm skin slowly before slowly nodding his head.

"and then i...but how did you get here?" you squeak out because you can't remember anything else after the dream.

he grips your arm ever so slightly as he shakily exhales, licking his lips before explaining that yeosang had called him, just said that you needed him and he ran here to see you crying on the bed, puffy face stained with tears and the nervousness radiating off of him makes your heart tug.

"oh."

you don't remember any of that. you don't remember yeosang helping you or the phone call or telling him you needed seonghwa.

"i'm sorry i stayed," he's quick to say, unable to gauge your reaction right now, "but i didn't...you didn't...i didn't think i should've left you al-"

"no!" you say, far too loudly and quickly causing your cheeks to redden and a snort to leave him. "i mean...thank you..i'm-i'm glad you did," you say quietly, a shyness taking over you at the confession and it has his chest tightening.

"well, i'm glad you asked for me," he says and it's the first time you've ever heard him match your shyness, tone quiet and maybe even a tad unsure.

you peak up to see him watching you and you smile reassuringly at him. "are you really that surprised?"

"what do you mean?" his hand slowly reaches down to fix your messy bed hair, almost like he's doing it absentmindedly.

"you're joking, right?" you say, picking your face up off his chest and leaning your chin against it to meet his gaze head on, "i always seem to need you."

you laugh out and shake your head recalling the past few weeks of knowing him. "i mean defending my honor on a daily basis, teaching me how to ski and protecting my many falls, giving me rides in the rain, paying for this very trip...it's actually a little sick what a damsel in distress i am."

his quiet laugh rings through the room. "you really are, aren't you?" he teases, head cocked to the side as a giant smirk covers his face. because he'd be lying if he said he didn't throughly enjoy doing each and every one of those things.

(or at least, almost all of them).

"well, you're not supposed to agree!" you whine, slapping his chest lightly with a giggle, "what about like hey y/n, no you're not that big of a mess, don't worry."

he purses his lips to the side, giving you a skeptical look that warrants another smack to his chest. but this time, he catches your hand with a smile, bringing it to his lips and pressing a soft peck in your skin.

"what about, i'll be there for you as long as you need me," he says quietly, replacing his lips with the gentle stroke of his thumb, "how does that sound?"

your heart jumps and you don't know if it's because of his words or soft touch. most definitely both.

"like you're gonna regret it," you tease, raising your eyebrows playfully.

"impossible," he says and then before you know it, he's flipping you onto your back and looming over your body. he does it so fast it causes a tiny squeal to leave your lips, your giggle ringing through the air followed by his airy chuckle.

"because if you haven't noticed, little one," he says lowly, looking down at you before moving his mouth to your ear, "i have quite a soft spot for you." wet lips graze you before traveling to your cheek and you feel his laugh against your skin when he hears your shaky inhale.

"stop laughing," you whine breathily as he pulls back to smile down at you. your eyes roam over his face, taking all of him in as the sunlight glows around him and you're absolutely convinced this man is an angel: all sharp angles and piercing, brown eyes and soft, radiant skin. "how else am i supposed to act when you say stuff like that."

he watches you take in every part of his face, gaze moving from his eyes to his nose to his lips, then back to his eyes. he lifts one of his arms up to trace the pink on your cheeks, slow and gentle and you bite your lip so another embarrassing shaky breath doesn't leave you.

"stuff like what?" his deep voice mumbles, his finger moving from your cheek to over your lip. he swipes across it before taking it out of your teeth's harsh hold, rubbing over the reddened skin gently and his eyes can't help but follow.

you swallow nervously, feeling far too warm and you can practically feel the buzzing between but you still freeze when you see him start to lean down ever so slightly, like he doesn't even realize he's doing it as his finger drags your lip down. but you don't realize either, how your neck craned up ever so slightly and your chest started to heave in and out from your nervous breaths.

"y/n," he mumbles and he's so close now, you feel his breath waft over your face, see every swirl of brown in his dark eyes and smell the natural, boyish scent that surrounded you all night.

"seonghwa," you breath out and if it were any other circumstance, you'd smirk at the sharp inhale of breath he took after hearing you say his name.

"can i please-"

a loud, incessant knocking at the door followed by a familiar piercing voice breaks you two apart.

"y/n! y/n! is seonghwa with you?"

"fuckin' wooyoung," seonghwa groans, looking over your face one more time and sighing before getting up to stomp towards the door; you're left on the bed trying to steady your breaths and calm your racing heart.

"fuckin' jongho," hongjoong grumbles when you gasp and asked what happened to his face a half hour later in the lobby.

"apple boy?" you ask san who nods his head enthusiastically next to you. "wow, you remembered!"

you narrow your eyes at him, smacking him lightly on the arm before scolding him for pressuring you to do that last shot in the first place.

"but it was peach," he whines, "you had to try it just once, y/n. wasn't it delicious?"

yes.

"no! and i can confirm that because i tasted it twice," you growl, causing the table of boys to fake gag around you.

"okay, that's just gross," san says before wooyoung reaches across the table to pat your head. "it's okay, we've all been a little sloppy and thrown up in a public trash can at some point."

"thanks, you're really making me feel better," you say dryly causing seonghwa to snort next to you. your harsh side eye has him throwing up his arms in clear defense, a small smirk playing at his lips.

"speaking of sloppy," hongjoong says, "yeosang, you made it."

"don't think you should be talking shit when you're walking around like that, buddy," yeosang snarls as he makes his way to the table. you watch his eyes coldly glaze over you and seonghwa before quickly moving back to hongjoong.

"apple boy's only gotten stronger, huh?"

"shut up," hongjoong snaps, still bitter over the fact someone not only a grade lower but from their rival school gave him his worst black eye to date.

"yo, but actually," wooyoung says, "it's actually a little insane."

"he's not that strong," hongjoong mutters but san has already jumped to his feet to prove otherwise.

"he's strong AND huge," san exclaims, "he really looks like-" the shorter boy makes a show out of bending his arms out to the side, flexing them with a serious fighter look on his face; you can't help the girlish giggle that leaves your mouth at his stance.

"wow, okay sorry, hongjoong, i totally see why you got your shit rocked now," yeosang drones, causing hongjoong to charge at the boy who only chuckles as he quickly disappears off to the breakfast table.

you turn your head as your eyes follow him, feeling uneasy by the look you saw him shoot you and seonghwa. his words were sarcastic and dry per usual but something about him seemed...off, like he was tense or bothered by something.

"you want more?" seonghwa mutters and you jump at the sound of his voice. you turn to see him with a soft smile and you nod your head.

"yeah, i'm gonna get another bagel. do you want anything?" he shakes his head before thanking you and you get up after asking if any of the boys need another plate. with a chorus of no's, you pad over to the food nervously and snatch a plate before grabbing a bagel; you hesitantly walk up to yeosang who's fishing through the fruit bowl, noticing that he's actively avoiding pineapple.

"but pineapple's are good," you chirp and he turns to look at you blankly before forcing out a fake smile.

"nah."

your lips press into a firm line, squinting your eyes at him and feeling your stomach knot at his cold, shortness. but instead, you push it away and try again. because last night he was...good. and you find that for whatever sad reason, you hold on to the times he was nice to you.

"well, have you ever tried them?" you quip, voice sweet and questioning.

"nope."

a tiny huff leaves your mouth, looking up at him with a confused expression and he catches your gaze before moving around you. "what?" he asks shortly.

"i don't know, you're being..." he turns again, looking at you with a raised, questioning brow.

"nevermind," you say quietly, shaking your head before shifting on your feet nervously. "i...i don't remember much of last night, but..i wanted to thank you for calling him."

he hopes you don't notice the way his jaw clenches almost immediately, like he needed another fucking reminder that wasn't as obvious as watching him hold you, watching you melt into him and begging him not to leave. but what really fucked him, made him run out of that room and question himself completely, was feeling his heart sink when he realized you weren't talking to him, weren't begging him to not leave and stay with you. and if all of that wasn't enough, waking up to your high pitched giggle of seonghwa's name was the absolute kicker.

"i just did what you asked," he says, trying not to make his tone sound too bitter and icy; but he's really just feeling oh so bitter.

"yeah, that's true," you mumble before looking up at him and biting your lip. he swallows the lump in his throat as he meets your wide-eyed questioning gaze and he wishes you made it easier to be pissed at. wishes he didn't all of the sudden feel some sort of shift in his chest towards you. wishes he knew some other way to deal with it than lashing out.

"is that it?" he bites, eyes widening almost sarcastically and an uncontrollable pout makes its way on your face.

"oh..yeah..i'll just-" you grab your plate and walk back to the table, feeling like a dog with their tail between their legs. but then seonghwa's smile and quiet, "hey," greets you and your body relaxes, knot slightly unraveling in your stomach as you try to shake off the sinking feeling.

"hi," you squeak out, ripping off a piece of the bagel and holding it out to him. "you want?" he smiles at you, letting you feed him before muttering a quiet "thank you."

yeosang joins again a few moments later and you try to ignore the fact he sits as far away from you as possible. you watch san and wooyoung bicker, covering a giggle with your hand when san pegs a grape right at the boy's eye who then promptly shoots up to run away from a screeching wooyoung.

"i really cannot deal with them today," hongjoong growls.

"me and you, both," yeosang mumbles and their resemblance to grumpy old men has seonghwa chuckling before asking if they're doing anything as a group today.

"i don't think so, i mean i was gonna go snowboarding if anyone wanted to join though."

"even with your ugly ass eye?" yeosang quips with a smirk causing hongjoong to scoff.

"yes, you little fuck. and i'll still be better than you."

"uh huh, we'll see," yeosang says, eyes squinted sarcastically before looking at seonghwa. "why, you have something planned?"

"nah, was just wondering," he says before looking towards you. "you wanna snowboard?"

you shrug half-heartedly, your small "sure, another chance to break my leg," causing seonghwa to chuckle.

"if anyone's leg was breaking, it was mine," he says recalling the way you fell during the ski lesson.

you roll your eyes with a scoff, ripping off another piece of your bagel and throwing it at him; but he only smoothly catches it and pops it into his mouth with a smug smile.

"show-off," you mumble before san and wooyoung come barreling back over and seonghwa checks with them if they also wanna snowboard; with everyone on board, the group plans to meet back here in thirty minutes.

seonghwa catches your arm before you turn to leave and you look up at him questioningly. "do you wanna do something else?"

you turn your head to the side in confusion, eyebrows pulled together. "what?"

"we don't have too," he insists, "i just...there's a place we can go a few minutes away. you might've done it before so you have less of a chance of breaking your leg."

a quiet giggle leaves your mouth, lips pursed to the side at his slightly cryptic answer. "okay, well now you have me intrigued."

"good, wear a hat," he says, bopping the tip of your nose lightly and smiling when you scrunch it. "cute," he mumbles softly before telling you to meet him by the car in fifteen.

"so, wait, are you gonna kill me or something?" you ask him a half hour later, "is that why you wanted us to be alone?"

"yup, that's why, y/n," he says sarcastically, his glove-clad hands over your eyes as the snow crunches underneath you; he had gone as far as to make you tie your scarf around your face when you were five minutes away so you wouldn't see where you guys were going. you even tried to listen for any clues but there was no sign of other people or noises, just the occasional loud whip of the wind.

so pardon you for your thinking that this was a fairly good murder spot.

"okay, we're here," he says. your eyes pop open and adjust to the bright november sun before you gasp upon seeing a large frozen lake, snowy mountains and white trees in the distance.

"seonghwa!" you squeal, eyes roaming the sunny, snowy landscape before turning around excitedly. "this is so pretty!" you squeak.

"aren't you," he mumbles, placing his hands on your already cold, red cheeks. "but i told you to wear a hat."

"i forgot," you whine, "and don't think we're gonna graze over that cheesy line!" a giant smirk covers his face as he takes the black hat off his head to secure it over yours. you both giggle when he tugs it too far down, blocking your eyes for a minute and when he pulls it back up, he's bent down slightly so you're face to face.

"there you are," he says playfully and you roll your eyes despite the smile threatening to spread across your face. it's not until he takes your hand and walks a few feet behind him that you notice the two pairs of ice skates in the snow.

"is this safe to skate on?" you ask and he looks at you with a mock look of hurt, pushing snow off the bench before guiding you to sit.

"would i really suggest we do something that'd harm you?" he asks while taking off your snow boots.

"well i did just think you were going to murder me," you quip sarcastically and he rolls his eyes, shimming the skate on your foot and tying them up. "how'd you know my size?"

"i guessed," he says shyly and you smile down at him. "you were right!"

"you were wrong!" you screech, the sound of your high-pitched yelp echoing in the cold air, "i'm still gonna break my leg! there's no side to hold onto!"

"you haven't even stepped on the ice, y/n," seonghwa says, humor in his tone despite standing there with his arm outstretched for the past twenty minutes.

"i'm scared!"

"i told you i'm not gonna let you fall," he says, skating towards you and what is with rich people and their full capabilities for winter sports? "can't you trust me?"

and it's the soft whine in his voice, on top of the pleading look in his eyes, that has you taking a deep breath before grabbing his hand. you cautiously step onto the ice, then adding the other foot and slowly, very slowly, moving to him.

"okay, i'm doing it," you say quietly.

"you are," he says, his hands in yours, "you're doing good."

feeling cocky, you attempt to move to him a little faster and wobble underneath your feet. you let out a surprised yelp but his hand quickly wraps around your waist, not even budging as he saves your body from crashing down.

"see," he says, arm tightening around you, "not gonna let you fall."

you let out a little defeated sigh, standing up straight and tightening your hold on his hand.

"that wasn't the issue," you say, "i didn't wanna make you fall."

he intertwines your fingers, hearts jumping in two separate chests at the simple act. "i'd say it's a little late for that, don't you think, baby?"

you gasp as you shake your head at him, pulling him in front of you so you can glide around the lake. "cheesy comment number 2!"

and by the time you've skated around the pond until you're both dizzy, you've accumulated about twenty plus cheesy comments from him. but you suppose you egged him on really, giggling like a stupid, lovesick schoolgirl each and every time.

"stop!" you whine, "you've used that one ten times already!"

the both of you have been standing in the middle of the pond, instead of clasped hands, his arm wrapped around your waist as your head rests on his arm looking out at the snow-kissed mountain in the clear sky.

"you're the one who keeps saying how pretty it is," he counters; but he also can't deny that it really is a nice view.

"because i'm just not used to it," you say breathlessly, "it's like i'm just...not getting used it's beauty." he turns you by your waist, bringing your body into his as he looks down at you with soft, playful eyes.

"well now you see my dilemma, don't you, little one." his laugh echoes when your mouth drops open, a look of shock crossing your red face and it's half from the cold and half from the incessant comments he's been making.

"that's it, we're leaving! you're out of control today."

you're about to turn around and attempt to get off the ice by yourself when he catches you by the waist, both arms wrapping around your body.

"okay, okay, i'll stop," he says breathlessly against your neck and he's gonna pretend it's from the cold air and not the feel of your body pressed up right against his. you struggle in his hold for all of three-seconds before leaning into him, your head eventually falling back against him and humming contently at his warmth.

"you cold?" he mumbles, like he knew that's what you were thinking and you shake your head.

"no...but aren't you? you have no hat."

"i'm good, y/n."

you two stand in silence for a few minutes, his arms tightening around you when the occasional whipping of wind surrounds you; you're thankful he can't see you because you smile every time he does it.

the feel of your movement sometime later has him tearing his gaze away from the sky, watching you turn in his hold and smile up at him softly.

"hi."

you giggle quietly, licking over your cold lips before opening your mouth. "i just wanna thank you for bringing me here." he smiles softly and the look in his eyes alone has your stomach going crazy.

"thank you for coming with me."

you let out a quiet huff, bring your hand up to fix his messy, windblown hair.

"why are you so nice to me?" you ask him suddenly, turning your head to the side questioningly.

"why wouldn't i be?" he counters, eyebrows slightly pulled together; he's only met with a little shrug.

"i don't know...you just...you've been so nice ever since you met me."

"well....you can say i just have a soft spot for damsels in distress," he teases, tightening his hold on your waist just as you scramble to get away. you let out a huff, squinting your eyes at him as you shake your head.

"well, you're a mean rich boy!"

he laughs while looking down at you, moving his hands from your waist to adjust the hat on top of your head with a small smile before placing one on your cold cheek. you feel your breath catch in your throat at how close he is, how soft and gentle his touch is and how fast that buzzing feeling is back from earlier in your room.

"not damsels in distress," he hums lowly, "just...you." his finger grazes your cold red skin, his face leaning down ever so slightly as his eyes roam your face. "i don't know why, it really just seemed like the second i saw you, i was...drawn to you."

his comment makes you swallow nervously because you don't think you'll ever understand it. he's him and you're you and yet he's saying that; you're about to ask why when he speaks again.

"if i'm being honest, y/n, i almost just wanted to..."

"what?" you squeak after a few moments of silence, swallowing the nervous lump in your throat again when you realize you've both been leaning in inch by inch. now if you both just moved one more time, you could probably...

"seonghwa!"

his eyes close in frustration upon hearing his voice, clenching his jaw and his hand tightens on your cheek ever so slightly. you breath out the breath you were holding, disappointment creeping into your veins; you both turn your heads to see-

"mrs. choi?" you squeak out, squinting your eyes to get a better look.

"i gave you kids two hours!" she yelps across the lake, "two hours, seonghwa! it's almost been three!"

you and him both look at each other guiltily because your...compromising position isn't making you guys look any better.

"and what are earth are you doing on this lake! what if you guys fell through!"

"i told you!" you squeak just as seonghwa says "we wouldn't!" and just with her hands moving to her hips, it's a clear sign that has seonghwa guiding you off the lake and over to your snowy shoes; but not before mrs. choi smacks him on the back of the head.

you suppress a giggle the whole time watching him rub the back of his head as she stomps off to her car; you don't let your laugh ring free until you see her car completely drive out of the parking lot.

"i can't believe she just smacked you in the head!" you giggle, "that looked hard, too."

"it was," he whines, untying your laces, "i don't know how san survives that."

"san?" you ask, head turned to the side.

"yeah. that's his mom."

your mouth falls into an o shape, surprised to learn this but also thinking it makes sense. since they both have a shocking duality of being sweet and kind and then absolutely wild.

"that makes sense," you giggle.

what doesn't make sense, however, is that when you get back, there's no sign of yeosang anywhere. not at the slopes when you go to meet what was supposed to be everyone but was only hongjoong, wooyoung and san. he was also nowhere in sight for dinner at the restaurant next door nor did he ever show in hongjoong's room for a scary movie .

you pad down the hallway alone later that night, a loud yawn erupting from you. it's when your eyes pop open you see yeosang standing in front of his door, key card in hand.

"yeosang!" you say loudly, wobbling down the hall faster and not being surprised when he turns his head to look at you blankly.

"y/n."

"where were you, today?" you squeak, "you missed dinner and the movie. i'm 90% sure wooyoung peed his pants."

"hm, that sounds like him," he hums and you let out a small giggle as you nod your head; there's then a deafening silence for far too many seconds and your hands immediately start fidgeting into one another.

"you do that when you're nervous," he says quietly and you find yourself blanking for a minute for nodding your head.

"yeah...i don't know, but sometimes my nails even dig into them and then-"

"but why are you nervous?" he snaps and his tone is a little harsher than intended. but he can't help it as he remembers how you backed away from him last night, how you nearly ran to the bed when he guided you in but then was able to fall right into seonghwa and it's annoying the shit out of him that he can't stop thinking about it.

"i...i don't know," you say quietly, confused by his outburst, "you seemed...mad today."

"oh?"

"yeah, i don't know...maybe i'm wrong. but i..don't think i am."

he sighs as he realizes he has two options here: he can lie to you, pretend everything's just fine and say that he's just tired and hungover. or he can be honest, tell you he's mad but doesn't even really know why, doesn't know why he can't stop thinking about last night.

because it's not only the nightmare incident, but everything before that. the snowball fight, the stupid drunken questions you both asked, even him holding your hair back as you were puking; that one confuses him the most, why the fuck was he so willing to do that?

"you're right, you're not." is what he decides to say, a little bit of a lie, a little bit of the truth.

"well...do you wanna talk about it?" you reluctantly ask, "it might make you feel-"

"absolutely not," he growls and his tone instinctively causes you to take a step back. but that seems to make him even more mad. "especially not with you."

"oh."

"yeah, oh," he says, mimicking your last word mockingly before rolling his eyes. but you can only let out a humorless laugh.

"really," you snap, feeling anger flood through you at his nasty tone and dirty look. "you're going back to this yeosang?"

"you mean to tell me i've been a different yeosang?"

"yeah, you have. maybe even three different ones," you spit and you don't know what the hell made you so bold so quick, "the asshole. the nice one. and the one who asks if i'd rather kiss him or seonghwa."

his expression is blank one second, like he can't believe you remember that or said that, and then blazing the next, eyes fiery and hot and reminding you so much of asshole yeosang.

"you don't know what the fuck you're talking about."

"judging from your reaction, i think we both know that's wrong," you snap before advancing toward him ever so slightly. "so you care to tell me what that was about?"

"i was shitfaced, that's what that was about," he hisses before lowering his voice and causing it to deepen, "so i suggest you keep that to yourself."

"i wasn't gonna tell anyone, you asshole," you spit out, "i wasn't even gonna say anything to you but you've been a dick to me all day for no reason."

"well thanks for giving me one now, y/n," he growls, "you should really learn when to shut your mouth." he shoots you one last dirty look before swiping his key card and slamming the door in your face.

(part 13)

#seonghwa #seonghwa fluff #seonghwa angst #ateez #ateez fluff #ateez angst #ateez series #ateez seonghwa #moodboard

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itsallavengers · 5 years ago

Note

im a slut for steve not thinking he deserves what he has/being afraid of losing it all again so uh yeah?

It wasn’t regular.

Steve kept a lid on it, most times. Got on with his life. Tamped down the urge when it started getting bad and then waited for it to eventually dissipate. He’d used to have to do that frequently, in the beginning. It was better now though. But that didn’t mean it didn’t still happen. And before Tony, it had been... well, it hadn’t been easy to deal with, exactly- but at least no one had been around to see it.

Now, when the bouts of fear came- when Steve couldn’t bring himself to lie down and shut his eyes, for fear of waking up lost once more- there was someone around to see him do it. And that made everything so much more difficult.

Steve gritted his teeth and sat up slowly in bed, turning his head to look at Tony as the man slept soundly. His hair was stuck up in tufts from where Steve’s hands had been earlier that night, and dark purple marks trailed from his neck all the way down to his hips. He snored softly into the pillow and lit up the immediate area with a faint blue haze, and he was so achingly, easily beautiful that it made Steve wonder how he had ever ended up here. How Tony had ever picked him, of all the people in the world he could have chosen.

Tony had fallen asleep an hour ago, supposedly at the same time as Steve, both of them curled together and evening out their breaths until unconsciousness had wrapped around them. By this point, though, Steve was excellent at pretending to go through all those motions while in actuality, his mind remained firmly awake, the terror refusing to let him rest. The man had no idea that Steve would not be sleeping tonight. Or possibly tomorrow. Maybe not even for the next week, if it got really bad. It had happened before.

He never knew how long the feeling would last. But sometimes, inexplicably, Steve would be hit with the conviction that if he fell asleep, he was going to disappear. Something was going to happen, and the next time he woke up, everything would be different once more. He would no longer be in bed with the man he loved, in a tower full of the people he considered family. He would have to start again, and again, and again, never dying, never living. Caught in a loop that began with unconsciousness.

So, on those nights, he didn’t sleep. Instead, he sat up in bed, stared at the wall, and thought of everything he had already left behind.

He knew it was ridiculous. Illogical. He wouldn’t magically travel in time just by sleeping, that was absurd. But whenever he attempted to lie down flat and shut his eyes, he felt cold. He felt like something was going to go horribly wrong. He couldn’t escape that feeling, and if he attempted to force his way through it, he would only end up giving himself a panic attack.

It was pathetic and humiliating, and Steve just couldn’t stop it. So he’d resigned himself to having to deal with it on occasion. This was just what happened, some nights.

It was the first time it had ever happened with Tony around, though.

He looked down at the man as he slept, biting his lip and wishing that he could touch him. Feel the warmth of his skin, the gentle twitch of his pulse-points. He wished desperately to be calm enough to sleep, but couldn’t afford to wake Tony. If he wanted to be sensible, he should probably just leave. Go somewhere else to do this whole ridiculous song and dance. But-- but this was the ritual. This had been what he’d done, every time it happened. He’d sat up in bed, and he’d forced himself to resist the temptation of sleep. To stare at the wall and think of everything he’d already left behind. Like a confession of his sins to a dark, empty room.

These days, the room wasn’t even dark any more. It was always bathed in blue light, alive with someone else’s presence.

Someone else who seemed to be stirring, actually.

“Steve?” Tony’s voice was reedy, a half-asleep whisper in the night as he rubbed his eye and looked up at the way Steve was sat rigid in bed. “Darling, are you okay?”

Fuck.

“I’m fine,” he responded easily, extending a hand and running it through Tony’s thick hair. The man hummed happily. “Just go back to sleep.”

For a brief moment, it seemed Tony was almost willing to agree to that. But then he paused, shifted, and sat up a little further as he became more coherent. Tony didn’t say anything for a few moments, just looking at Steve’s face, pale and illuminated by the light of the arc reactor. “You had a nightmare?” Tony tried gently.

Steve shook his head. He couldn’t explain this. Tony would think he was insane. “No, it’s... just go back to sleep, okay? Please?”

Even as he said it, he knew this was a lost battle. Now Tony was sat up in earnest, the sheets pooling around his lap as he eyed Steve worriedly; observed the way he was leaning against the headboard, and clearly had been for some time. Like he was a sentry keeping guard. It was hard to keep anything at all from Tony. A man that smart knew what you’d had for breakfast from the power of deduction alone.

“What are you waiting for?” Tony asked eventually, taking a punt and, as usual, getting it correct. The words hit Steve somewhere deep in his sternum, forcing the air out of his body and making him want to keel over, tuck himself away somewhere safe and untouched from everything else.

What are you waiting for?

The ice. The wind in his face. The feeling of being awake and dead, and then only dead, and then only awake. Seeing faces and things and worlds that didn’t make sense. Losing Tony, his beautiful wonderful amazing Tony, in the same way that he’d lost everyone else. In a way that was irreversible.

He shook his head once. “Nothing.”

That, at least, was true. Nothingness was probably what scared him most.

Tony was quiet, unmoving. Steve could see the thoughts as they raced through his head, narrowing things down, accounting different factors, trying to work out what Steve wouldn’t tell him. Steve wanted to tell him to stop. He didn’t want Tony to see him like this.

But he was so, so tired. And a part of him... well. A part of him just wanted someone to tell him that it was going to be okay. That it was over. That he was here, and here was where he would stay.

“Go back to sleep with me,” Tony said softly, his fingers settling lightly on Steve’s shoulder, before morphing into a firm palm sliding around the back of his neck. Grounding. With me, he said, like they were in this together. Which, logically, Steve supposed was true. They were in very close proximity, here. Were one to go, the other would follow.

He turned to Tony slowly, shutting his eyes at the delicious sensation of the man’s hand in his hair. His eyebrows were scruffy and had been rubbed the wrong way. It was cute.

“What if I wake up somewhere different?” Steve blurted before he could even prevent himself, voice thin, edging on downright hysterical. He regretted the words as soon as he’d said them. Tony was going to think he was nuts. Tony was going to scoff at him, and Steve couldn’t even blame him. That was the most pathetic thing that’d ever come out of his mouth. He sounded like a child.

“Well, at least this time you’ll have me,” Tony told him softly. Steve turned to him in surprise, only realising how much he was shaking when he felt Tony’s spare hand settle over his, the weight calming them. “Nothing can affect you without me knowing it, or experiencing it with you, right?”

“You don’t know that.”

“Maybe not. But if anyone ever tries to take you away from me, then I’m not gonna stop working until I get you back.” Tony’s face was earnest and true, not a hint of doubt or even nervousness about him. Maybe it was the later hour. Maybe it was showing on Steve’s that he couldn’t cope with doubt just then. Either way, Tony offered him up exactly what it was he needed, without even having to be asked.

Steve loved him so much it hurt.

“I’m terrified, some nights,” he admitted, his voice lower than a whisper, only managing to travel to Tony’s ears before the sound faded and was lost to anyone else in the world. “So utterly, stupidly scared that when I sleep, I’m gonna-- I’m gonna go. Somewhere. Anywhere. I don’t know.” He looked down at his lap. “I would never in a million years have predicted I’d end up in the 21st century, back when I crashed that ship. Where am I gonna go next? How many more people am I gonna lose?” His breath hitched unevenly, and he felt his eyes start to sting. God, this was awful. He shook his head. “I can’t do it. I can’t. Not again. I’ll just-- I’ll stay awake until I get over it, until it passes, but I won’t sleep. No. No.”

Tony made a small, undefineable noise in front of him, and then Steve felt a pair of hands settled against his cheeks. Tony slowly lifted his face up, and then when Steve was looking at him, Tony just kissed him. A soft thing. A reassuring thing.

He pulled back a fraction of an inch, thumbs stroking down Steve’s cheekbone. “Okay,” he murmured. “We’ll stay up. That’s alright.”

We?

Steve’s brow creased and he opened his mouth, but Tony was already shuffling, re-positioning himself on the bed until he was lying back into Steve’s chest, tucking the sheets around them and then laying his head back against Steve’s shoulder. When Steve looked down at him in surprise, Tony kissed him again. “Tell me your favourite colour?” He asked.

The question was so inane that Steve was thrown out of it all for a second. He blinked. “Why is that... uh, it’s green.”

“Why?”

“Well, I- I guess it’s because it’s versatile,” Steve said, his voice still shaky as he thought it over. “It’s in plants and animals and people and stuff. It’s life.”

Tony smiled softly, mouth forming the word ‘life’ in a wordless repetition. “What’s your favourite animal?”

“Bears. Why are you asking me this?”

Tony just shrugged, taking Steve’s hand and then playing idly with his fingers. “When I wouldn’t leave the workshop for fear of someone kidnapping me again, Rhodey used to ask me all these dumb things,” he began quietly, concentration fixed upon the knuckles on Steve’s left hand. “Used to ask me so many of them I’d forget the fact that I was even scared. Filled my brain with so much useless drivel that I guess I just got distracted enough to quit panicking.” He huffed to himself quietly and rubbed at the reactor, an almost absent motion. “I haven’t ever told anyone that. It didn’t last long, to be fair. Only a few weeks. But still.”

Oh. Steve squeezed his waist softly and ducked a kiss against his temple, letting his mouth rest there for a second so that he could breathe Tony in. “It’s been ever since I woke up, for me,” he confessed, shaking his head minutely, “sometimes I can’t sleep for days. I just sit there and- and think.”

“I know.” Tony shifted slightly, drew himself further into Steve. “Has it ever happened while I’ve been here?”

“No. Just tonight.”

Tony nodded. Then, after another second: “Favourite dessert?”

Steve couldn’t help it; he chuckled quietly and tightened his arms around Tony, burying his head into the side of the man’s face. Tony was saying something about how Steve was contractually obligated to say apple pie to this question, and his hand was stroking repetitively across Steve’s arm in order to remind him he was still there, and Steve just loved him so much he thought he might drown in it. And not even in a way that terrified him.

Tony asked him questions until 2:32 in the morning, when he fell asleep resting in Steve’s arms, face tucked into Steve’s neck. He hadn’t even meant to, Steve thought. One minute he’d been murmuring something, and the next he was conked out. He must have been exhausted. But he’d stayed awake as long as he could for Steve all the same. Just to ask him questions.

Steve didn’t go to sleep that night. He wasn’t brave enough. But the jitters were gone, and the sadness had lifted, replaced only with Tony and his intoxicating presence. He was everywhere around Steve; in his arms, on his mind. It was impossible for him to worry about the man disappearing just then.

And the next night, when Tony fell asleep once again tucked neatly into Steve’s chest, Steve found his eyes shutting too.

Like he’d said. It wasn’t always regular. And now, with Tony, it was even easier to sleep without fear sharing the bed with him.

Tony took up too much goddamn space for that.

kofi // ao3

#this is hella messy but it like 1am and im sleeby gfdhgfn #itsallavengers writes #stevetony #Anonymous

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farleydiana · 5 years ago

Text

red queen hogwarts au :)

so i’ve finally decided to bring this idea to life..... shoutout to the @redqueenetwork discord for coming up with cool headcanons and help with character sorting!!

this is also my first fic ever DONT be mean. plot is basically mare goes to hogwarts forthe first time and makes friends its very happy. this was super fun to write so hope y’all enjoy.

arrival

Mare had always wondered what lied on the other side of the wall.

Every year, since she was six years old, she’d seen her brothers run straight into it and fade into another dimension, to a secret platform and the train that would take them to Hogwarts. She’d heard insane stories about the place, stuff that belonged in fever dreams or myths. Staircases that moved, forests home to deadly creatures, a gigantic squid on a lake, ghosts that roamed the halls, portraits that could talk… it didn’t sound real. It couldn’t be. But when her letter appeared in their small mailbox one friday in August, she realized maybe her brothers weren’t toying with her after all… that this magical castle hidden in the highlands did exist, and that it housed all those things that came from your wildest dreams and nightmares. And now, she was going to be a part of it all. That didn’t feel real.

She was finally going to cross the wall.

Her mother, Ruth, hugged each of her sons tight, one final goodbye before they left for school. They all hugged Gisa too, Tramy even lifted her up. He was getting stronger, playing that quidditch sport. And off they went. Bree first, pushing into the wall with force. He disappeared. Then, it was Tramy’s turn. Then Shade’s.

Mare’s heart raced, this was really it. Her time had come. She said a quick goodbye to Mom, Dad, and Gisa, and grabbed her cart, which contained a trunk filled with books and a broom, and, with all her strength, pushed straight for the wall.

Out of instinct, she expected a collision that would make her trip into her cart or maybe fall headfirst into the floor, but instead, she emerged in a bustling platform. Her brothers were waiting for her, and they cheered when she came out, high-fiving her. This whole thing was starting to feel like an adventure.

They moved along, making space for new people who entered. Platform 9 ¾ was at its full capacity, with countless families saying goodbye to their children. They were all strangely dressed, in robes or very colorful dress suits. Mare found herself almost clinging to Shade, as Bree and Tramy went to meet their friends. They both stood awkwardly in the middle of the platform looking like lost children, searching the train’s entrance. Mare took this chance to look around. Her eyes landed on a woman, with blond hair elaborately tied in a low bun and a long blue coat (in summer!) whispering to a boy who was undoubtedly a first year like her. The woman stood up, and Mare could notice those around her standing a little straighter. Her icy eyes found Mare’s, and she too tensed. She must be a really powerful witch, Mare thought, she certainly looks like it.

“Come on,” Shade said, grabbing her wrist and pulling them through the crowd. Maybe Shade noticed her staring at the woman.

“Who is she?” Mare asked. She figured she needed to know.

“Elara Merandus. Works for the Ministry-- wizard government. Not one of the good ones there.” Shade explained.

She wanted to know more, to know what the Ministry did, and why she wasn’t “one of the good ones”. But the crowd to the train was moving along.

They entered quickly, and the mumbling from the platform was instantly replaced by the sound of train engines and excited teens. Shade walked along the train, to check for carts they could sit at. Some were full, others had kids much older than them, and others had one or two kids with unfriendly looks on their faces who always answered “sorry, it’s taken” when asking if they could sit. Then, they came across a boy looking absentmindedly through the window.

“Excuse me,” Shade said, “are these seats taken?”

The boy jumped, not having expected a visitor. “What? Oh, no… it’s not taken,” he said. He had hair the color of wheat and very green eyes. Mare and Shade entered the cart, seating in the bench opposite to his. There was an awkward silence for a few moments, Mare turned her attention to her worn sneakers.

The train started moving. A bunch of kids screamed last goodbyes, and Mare kind of wanted to join them, but she had already left her parents behind. Instead, she gripped the edge of her seat a little tighter at the sudden movement.

“I’m Kilorn,” the boy said, “Kilorn Warren.”

Mare laughed a little on the inside. What kind of dumb name is Kilorn?

“I’m Shade,” her brother said, “and this is my sister, Mare Barrow”

Kilorn didn’t bother to hide his laugh. The same can be said about our names, she thought, a bit embarrassed.

“Are you first years too?” Kilorn asked.

“I’m on my second year, Mare’s a first year.” Shade replied before she could.

Kilorn turned all his attention to Mare. “This is all so crazy, isn’t it? The, you know… the train, the school… it’s magic,you know?” He was ecstatic, words spilling from his mouth, and Mare grinned at his enthusiasm. “I thought this was some prank when I got my letter, but… it’s not.”

Mare nodded, remembering when Bree first got his. A strange man with blue robes and close-cut white hair had appeared in their house one morning with a letter, and explained to her parents what this whole wizarding school ordeal was about. They were… shocked, to say the least, but would never refuse the opportunity of free education at a boarding school with all the amenities covered. So, the man had taken Bree to Diagon Alley to get his wizard things, and the Barrows sent him off on September 1st. Everyone after him had gotten just a letter. They were all surprised when Tramy got his, and convinced that everyone in the family was in some way magical when Shade got in too. Mare kind of felt she was, with the way her surroundings seemed to act weird whenever she felt angry, which was more often than she’d like. For that entire year Mare tensed, afraid of being the exception, of not getting her letter. Her parents already treated her like less than her sister, who was beautiful and ladylike… she would not stand the humiliation.

“I was so relieved when I got mine,” she said. “All my older brothers got one. It would be kind of embarrassing if i didn’t”

“Wait, so you’re not… Your parents aren’t wizards?” Kilorn asked, brows furrowing in confusion

“No..”

“Our parents are muggles.” Shade said.

“They were born… normal, but their kids are all magical,” Mare continued.

“You know what, I’m convinced at least one of them is a sorcerer in secret,” Shade said.

“If they were, they would’ve already thrown thousands of jinxes at us.” They both giggled. It was certainly strange, how all of them had magic inside them. Maybe magic just liked the family.

“Are your parents wizards?” Shade asked Kilorn.

A long pause followed. Mare felt the answer before he said it out loud.

“I don’t know who my parents are,” Kilorn said, his voice sorrowful.

Mare’s whole body sank. She didn’t know what to say to this… ‘i’m sorry’ felt like too little. She had never met an orphan, but she could clearly imagine how sad it must be to grow up alone.

A grim silence settled in. Mare watched as the lush green hills passed by, taking her back to when she was younger, running around the prairies of home with her siblings.

“Uh, hello,” a boy suddenly said. He was at the cabin threshold, half hidden. Mare recognized him as the boy the woman was talking to. He had the same deep blue eyes.

“Can I sit with you guys?” he asked.

The three children looked at one another. Mare furrowed her brows at Shade, who was thinking the same thing she was. Associating with this kid was probably not good. But, it would be mean to not let him in.

Kilorn, for his part, didn’t seem to notice their doubt, and said “sure! Come along.”

Reluctantly, the boy sat next to Kilorn, though a few inches apart. There was silence again, and Mare felt a bit… intimidated. But, why? The boy looked just as nervous as she was.

“Are you a first year too?” Kilorn asked.

“Yes,” the boy said. I was with my brother, who’s in his third year, but I didn’t like his friends very much. So I left.”

“Oh,” Mare said. “well, hello.” She tried to smile, but it was an awkward fake smile.

“Hey,” he said, “I’m Maven Calore.” Mare assessed him. He was wearing very nice robes, which made Mare feel kind of off in her old, overworn clothes. He was looking at her, too, though Mare couldn’t figure out what he was thinking.

“Calore…” Shade said, with an inquiring look. “You’re Cal’s brother?”

“Yes…” Maven said with a sigh. “Unfortunately.”

Kilorn giggled.

“Who’s Cal?” Mare asked Shade.

“He’s this Gryffindor guy…” he said, annoyed. “And all the girls in my year are obsessed with him and his fire-colored eyes.” He spoke in his mocking voice. Mare laughed.

“That’s my brother.” Maven said.

“And his name is… Cal Calore?” Mare couldn’t contain her chuckle this time. Why does everyone here have ridiculous names?

“No, it’s Tiberias.” Maven Answered. “Tiberias the seventh.”

Mare raised her brows at that. “The seventh!? What happened to Tiberias one through six?”

Maven laughed. “No, it’s this dumb family tradition. Our father is the sixth and his father is the fifth and so on.”

“Oh, so you’re like… the Royal Wizarding Family or something?”

That Maven wasn’t expecting. He blushed, taken aback, and for a second Mare wondered if that had been too mean.

“They kind of are. I mean-- they’re pretty famous.” Shade said. “They’re famous cursebreakers or something.”

Mare nodded a small ohh. Kilorn raised his brows at the word “cursebreakers.” Maven just shrugged.

“And what kind of curses do they break?” Mare asked.

“I don’t know, like…” Maven furrowed his brows, thinking of a way to explain. “There are like, laws, on how to use magic, and they work in enacting that. They’re not all cursebreakers. Some are aurors.”

“Magical police.” Shade clarified.

“They’re kind of annoying, if you ask me.” Maven said, “Everyone says i’m different to them. I’m not, like, super sporty and stuff. My dad says I should be more like my brother.”

“Oh, my mom’s the same,” Mare said. “She’s super proud of my sister because she can draw really well,and I’m not particularly good at anything”.

They fell into easy conversation, talking about sibling frustrations and family wishes. Kilorn and Shade, for their part, talked about the school, Shade explained the houses and house points and what Quidditch was. Kilorn decided he would like to play, it sounded fun. Mare eventually joined in, saying she’d like to play too (all her brothers did), beating balls while flying sounded fun. Shade also talked about the professors, who was nice and who wasn’t. He seemed to like Julian, the history of magic teacher, who was also head of the Ravenclaw house, which was, according to Shade, the best one. Part of Mare hoped she’d be sorted there just to be with her brother, but she felt she wasn’t brainy enough. There was also Anabel, the potions teacher, who wasn’t that nice to students that got on her ugly side.

“Basically you have to one, be smart, or two, be a slytherin, if you don’t want her to be hard on you,” Shade explained.

“Looks like she plays favorites.” Mare said.

“Yeah the slyths are quite literally snakes. Really. That’s their animal.”

Mare decided in that moment that she didn’t want to be in slytherin.

Shade kept going over the teachers. There was Carmadon, the funny herbology teacher, and Davidson, the Defense against the dark arts teacher. According to Shade, he was really strict in class but outside class he would talk with the students, and was very nice.

The rest of the ride passed quickly, and soon it was time to change into their uniforms. The castle came into view. It really was huge, with bridges and pointed towers. Dark, yet strangely welcoming.

All over the train, there were cheers and gasps of surprise as they got closer. Mare watched the school approach through the window with Kilorn and Maven, thinking woah, this really is real…

The descent from the train is hurried and messy. Shade leaves for his friends, a group of boys dressed in the same blue robes, and the trio of first years is left to be carried by the crowd. Maven gets lost, and Kilorn and Mare end up joining the cluster of other first years, who are indicated to follow a big man named Hagrid. He gives a brief tour of the castle grounds. They were at the Great Lake, where the huge squid resided. on the other side a little to the left was the forbidden forest, which Mare kind of wanted to enter, to find why it was forbidden. At second thought she decided it’d be a terrible idea. Then, very far on the other side, the quidditch pitch. The place was gigantic.

In small groups, the kids crossed the lake in carriages pulled by invisible horses. Mare and Kilorn boarded one with a boy named Thomas and a girl named Sonya, who didn’t seem to enjoy sitting with any of them.

Once they were on the other side, the thirty-something first years continued into the castle. Mare couldn’t keep her jaw from dropping as she walked through the oak double doors and into a torchlit entrance hall. There was a grand staircase in front of them, and she could hear muffled talk from somewhere. She didn’t have much time to take in her surroundings, as the party was quickly moved to a room at the right.. Before she entered, she glimpsed four hourglasses filled with glittering stones, one for each house, she guessed.

So this is the Great Hall. It was the biggest dining room Mare had seen in her life. Her eyes went straight to the ceiling, it was open… bewitched, Mare remembered, from one of Shade’s letters, to look like the night sky. It was just as beautiful as she’d imagined.

The great hall had four long tables, each occupied by students from different houses. Mare recognized them by color. The closest one was the green one, slytherin. Then blue, ravenclaw, where Shade was. Then came yellow, Hufflepuff, which was Tramy’s house. And the farthest one was Gryffindor, Bree’s house.

The kids hurried to the right wall, where another long table stood on its own platform, overlooking the other four. The professors’ table. Right in front of it, there was a small stool with a very old hat sitting on it.

Mare knew what came next, and it made her heart race. The sorting ceremony. The moment that would determine where you belonged in Hogwarts. Excitement flood the room, as hopeful students cheered for their houses, and the newcomers breathed heavily, a mix of nerves and adrenaline. Mare spotted Bree smiling at her from his table and couldn’t help but smile back. The students stood in front of the teachers’ platform and the headmaster, a wizard with a long, white beard called Dumbledore, welcomed them with a speech. He was weird, Mare concluded. Even by wizard standards.

Then it was time for the sorting. It opened with the hat singing a very off-key yet catchy song about the houses, how they were founded and what each house meant. Mare had no idea where she might end up. Maybe Gryffindor, people thought of her as brave-- but she definitely didn’t see herself as similar to Bree in any way. She had always been more like Shade… but she wouldn’t fit in Ravenclaw; she didn’t have a passion for knowledge and wouldn’t say she was creative. She wouldn’t deny she was smart, though… so it was a possibility. Hufflepuff was completely scratched, she was not hardworking nor kind. The only one left was slytherin… her brothers had joked she’d end up there, with her little revenge plans she pulled off whenever Bree or Tramy decided to get on her ugly side. Well, it was always her idea and Shade’s execution. But, from what she’d heard, a house of pretentious rich kids and mean teachers wasn’t that appealing to her. She ended up deciding to leave it to the hat.

The first kid to go up was Alice Zhang, hufflepuff. They were calling the kids in reverse alphabetical order, which meant she was going to be one of the last ones… great, she thought, mentally rolling her eyes. She wanted to get over it quickly but no, she’d have to wait.

Kilorn was next. He grinned wide when the hat announced “Hufflepuff!” He had been eyeing the house, hoping to end up there. And so, one by one, the students stepped forward and sat in the stool to have their houses chosen. Most of them were happy with their new school family. Some had expected it. Others hadn’t, and were pretty shocked from it. But also the students didn't care about most of the newcomers.

The attention was on two students: Maven and Sonya Iral from the carriage. Mare couldn’t help but listen at people’s muttering about them.

“... with a family like that I bet you five galleons she'll end up in Ravenclaw or Slytherin”

“That boy’s definitely a Slytherin”. “How are you so sure? Every Calore ever has been a Gryffindor.” “He just looks like one. I can see it in his face.”

“... with a mother like that…” “I’ve never met Elara, but I hear that she could defeat he-who-must-not-be-named with her stare only.”

Mare’s eyes were suddenly very open. Who was this he-who-must-not-be-named person and why didn’t Shade tell her about him? It was certainly important.

“Sonya Iral,” The professor, McGonagall, called.

The girl walked toward the stool. She looked like one of the mean girls who would call your shoes ugly in fourth grade, with long black hair straightened to perfection and deep tan skin, and moved with the grace of a ballerina.

“Slytherin!”

Mare startled at the loud cheers behind her. She would cheer too, she thought, if she had one of the richest people in the school in her house.

“All the posh kids are making it to slyth,” she heard, coming from a table to her left.

“It’s always the rich ones in slytherin… I don’t think I’ve seen a muggleborn in that house in years,” another student said.

“I mean, nowadays being a muggleborn in slytherin would suck…”

Mare swallowed hard. Maybe I could end up in gryffindor.

A few more students passed. Ravenclaw. Gryffindor. Gryffindor. Slytherin.

Then, “Maven Calore.”

Maven walked slowly to the stool, all eyes on him. People were still betting on his placement, which made Mare mentally sigh in annoyance. She glanced at the Gryffindor table, all of them on their toes. Her eyes focused on a guy who was maybe thirteen, and had eyes literally the color of fire. That must be Cal the seventh, Mare thought. He was staring hopefully at his brother, hands clasped in front of his mouth.

Maven, to his favor, looked calm.

“Slytherin!” the hat declared.

Gasps traveled through the whole hall. Jaws dropped to the floor and eyebrows shot to the ceiling as Maven walked to his house, which, to the shock of everyone who knew the Calores, was not Gryffindor. He was almost… proud? Or, looked like it, with his back straight and his strides long and confident. The green table roared, welcoming his new student, son of some… really powerful people. Mare was starting to think the Slytherin house wasn't a house of like-minded students, but an exclusive club of trust fund children. One she certainly could not belong to. Or could she?

She was about to find out.

Mare felt her blood run down her veins like sparks, suddenly feeling very anxious. Rachel Brown, Ravenclaw. She breathed in, breathed out. Felt her leg shake. Edward Bennett, Hufflepuff. She braced herself. This was it.

“Mare Molly Barrow.”

She hurried to the stool, hearing murmurs about her potential house. “Gryffindor, for sure.” “She looks a bit Ravenclaw to me.” “No, I know it. That’s a Slytherin face.” “She has the same look as Farley, definitely a Gryffindor.”

McGonagall put the hat on top of her unruly head. She cringed when she felt the hat speak inside her mind. It’s looking through my brain…

“I see quite a bit of nerve in there…” it said. “Oh. oh, yes, you are a courageous one, child.”

She smiled. Gryffindor, then? She couldn’t help it, bt a bit of disappointment fell on her shoulders at that.

“No… i see that, while brave, you are twice as cunning. Intelligence sharp as a viper’s” Her eyes sparked, quickly assessing the room, finding Maven’s by chance.

“It could not be more clear… SLYTHERIN!”

Mare grinned and walked toward her table, her house, while cheers surrounded her from all sides. A part of her sank when she realized the slytherin table was the one cheering the least.

Still, they welcomed her with smiles as she sat. “Hey!” Maven said, shocked as was the rest of the house, whispering among them and giving her looks that ranged from confusion to plain disgust. Some, like Maven, were actually happy she was there. A girl with silver hair and dark grey eyes was surveying her intently. Mare couldn’t figure out if it was curiosity or malice in her eyes. She wanted to feel welcomed, she really did, but from what she’d heard about her new house, she wondered if she ever would. Everyone looked so composed and elegant… and there she was, straight out of a muddy village. She felt small, and off, so she decided to distract herself from her thoughts and focus on the ceremony… which was ending.

“Hello! Welcome to Slytherin,” a voice said, taking her out of her gloom. A girl was standing over her, she had bright red hair which reminded her of Gisa’s, and wore a wide, welcoming smile. “I’m Mariella Haven. Prefect. If you need help with anything, you can come to me or any other Prefect.”

Mare smiled. She seemed… genuinely nice. “Hey, thank you,” she said. Mariella gave her and Maven a polite smile and walked back to her seat, which was near the edge of the table.

“I feel strange here,” Mare whispered to Maven, as the table suddenly got filled with all kinds of foods.

“Me too,” he whispered back. A small pressure released from Mare’s shoulders, knowing she wasn’t alone in her feelings of inadequacy.

Eagerly, students started filling theri plates, and she did the same, helping herself to Turkey and a very colorful salad. This must be the most appetizing food she’d seen in her life, and her eyes sparkled with excitement.

As the start-of-term feast went on, the six first years of Slytherin chatted eagerly about the train ride and what the hat had said and how happy they were to be placed in the best house. For some, it was a family tradition, almost. Sonya and Maven both said they felt kind of good for going out of their family’s norm. Mare didn’t speak much, but still she could feel a tight bond of loyalty forming between her and her housemates, no matter their differences. Maybe she’d make a place for herself here, after all. She had to.

#*writing #red queen #rq #mare barrow #maven calore #shade barrow #kilorn warren #hp #redqueenetwork #HERE YALL GO #i wrote 11yo mare barrow give me love :(#also this made me realize. i do not like third person

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jack-andthestalk · 6 years ago

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Our Son, Arc II, Unreachable Chapter 13.

With thanks to @balfeheughlywed she has the patience of a saint. @notevenjokingfic for allowing me to test her patience and @ladyviolethummingbird for explaining her confusion. These gals rock. I want to thank @missclairebelle because she helped me plot some of what is about to unfold here at the very beginning of this Arc. Thank you to you all for continuing to read, love the anons, still haven't got through them all. The reaction this story creates blows me away.

Jamie's monosyllabic voice recording answered. "Hi, this is Jamie, leave a message after the beep.”

Plummeting my heart into my shoes. Again.

Where are you?

____

Willie wriggled impatiently within my grasp bringing my attention back to him.

“dinna hold my hand mama! We’re past the gate.” He rolled his eyes dramatically, cheeks burning the same crimson Jamie’s did when he was embarrassed.

With one final tug, he broke free and ran up the school path. "What about my kiss?" I shouted after him, prodding myself in the cheek and pouting my lips slightly. Willie rolled his eyes for a second time but dutifully ran back and kissed me quickly.

“See ye later mama” he bellowed as he pushed the school door open and let it bang noisily behind him. I tutted in my mind as I saw him drag his bag haphazardly behind him down the glass corridor.

Glancing back down at my phone I willed it to ring. It had been three days since the book arrived and after foolishly waiting until the next day to contact Jamie for fear I would draw attention to him. I tried his number with all attempts to reach him falling flat. My chest felt bruised from the hard thrum of my heart against it, persistent and unusually fast. It was so unlike him.

Since our return to Boston, Jamie had phoned religiously. I had only taken his call on the first occasion and passed the phone to Willie for all the others.

I walked quickly back to the house, I still had a few hours before my shift at the hospital.

My mind raced with possibilities of why he had turned his phone off, what had caused him to stop ringing Willie? No matter what had happened since our return to Scotland Jamie had rung consistently. A guilty feeling tugged at my insides. Maybe if I had taken his calls, instead of fobbing the phone on to Willie, I might have some idea where he was, what was happening. I should have trusted him. The other part of my brain tried to comfort me, you couldn’t have known, he didn’t tell you.

I hadn't planned on ignoring him as I had; the first call once we returned had thrown me. I expected something totally different from him, needed it. Instead, he had turned everything on its head and left me reeling.

The idea of Jamie with Geneva was hurtful; beyond hurtful given what she had conspired to do to our family but even after Dougal confirmed it. Something inside of me kept a glimmer of hope, or maybe something more akin to trust that Jamie wouldn't do that. He was honorable, not just with me, with his family, his friends. Apart from getting with me at Jenny’s wedding, he had never appeared to be a man that would cheat and to cheat so blatantly.

Even then he had ended things with Laoghaire before we slept together. It was no excuse, but there was a pull between us, a pull so strong I would have done the same in his shoes had our roles been reversed, no man would keep me from Jamie, and a voice inside my head was telling me that no woman would keep me from him.

So when he phoned on our first evening back in Boston, I had imagined for him to have a reason, an excuse. I hadn’t predicted the vagueness on the other end of the phone. There was no doubt about his nerves, his voice was clearly shaking, but he lacked any words to tell me what the hell was happening there, never mind what was happening with Geneva Dunsany.

The tremor in his voice should have told me he wanted to say more than he did, but I was so angry, so much had happened in forty-eight hours. I didn’t hear what I should have.

“Ye went back early”, he had said cautiously.

It hadn’t been what I was expecting. My mouth incapable of speech had hung agape as I stood in my kitchen, clenching the hem of my sweater with such vigour I thought it might rip.

He took my silence for what it was and began to speak again.

“Jenny told me.”

I presumed he meant Jenny had told him I had gone back to Boston early.

He cleared his throat and hesitantly, all most painfully said “Claire –”

I had waited, holding out for something, words of comfort anything that would ease the ache in my chest at what I had been led to believe about him and Geneva.

Jenny had told him, he knew what I believed or was led to, he knew the pain and humiliation I had felt since she had answered his phone and laughed seductively, before telling me that Jamie couldn’t come to the phone.

If she could have conjured up an image and hurled it down the line to me that night it would have been her curled around his hips, holding his phone in the air while she threw her head back and laughed at my stupidity.

I had gone to bed that night in a mixture of alcohol, rage and broken-hearted tears. In the morning I had stilled my mind and my heart and told myself that Geneva Dunsany was capable of these types of games and so much more, promising myself that Jamie would have an explanation.

Jenny had arrived with coffee and pancakes from Ellen, and reassured me as only she could that Geneva was a desperate slapper and “Jamie wouldna risk the clap to lie with her.”

I snorted into my coffee, my heart slowly unwinding to its normal rhythm when she took my hand and said: "honestly Claire, Jamie is too in love with ye to want another woman, its nay true and he will tell ye."

Later on, showered and ready for the day I was wrestling with Willie to dress him when Dougal Mc Kenzie had knocked on my door. “A word lass?” was all he had said before barging past me.

Shooting me his most sympathetic smile and telling me clearly and without preamble that Geneva had phoned him to tell him of my late night call.

“How truly sorry she was that ye should find out in such a way. She and Jamie would never want to hurt ye.”

Shoulders straight and head held high. I had merely asked him to leave before emptying the contents of my stomach down the toilet.

Twenty-four hours later and back in the safety of my galley kitchen in Boston, Jamie’s name flashing on my screen with the same urgency that would draw me to answer it without hesitation, without a conscious thought but the need to hear him tell me it wasn’t true. I wanted to curl into the shelter of his shoulder and have him tell me there was no one but me, that Geneva Dunsany had robbed his phone and Dougal Mc Kenzie had not spoken an honest word in all his life. It hadn’t gone down like that.

“Claire I – “

Please make it better.

“Remember what I asked ye?”

Was he serious? That just on a whim, on a promise I had made before I heard directly he was sleeping with someone else. He wanted me to honour my promises?

When he had asked that, I thought he meant trust him not to get arrested, trust him to come back, trust him to love me. God, I didn't think he was asking me to fucking trust him to insanity.

“Can – you – explain? I had hissed out between gritted teeth.

A pause that went on too long, because if he could explain this nightmare, he shouldn't need time.

I heard him take a large intake of breath, and something like a sniff, maybe a sob. I didn't move didn't flinch. Waited with bated breath to hear what he had to say.

His words were choked with emotion; I didn’t need to see his face to know it was buried into his palm.

“I – love – you.” He had all but whispered, slow and precise, for a minute I had taken it as a balm before I realised that wasn’t what I asked.

I had asked him to explain, and he couldn’t. Wouldn’t.

Loving me wasn’t the issue, had he fucked her? Could he tell me what the hell was happening?

“I need more than that Jamie.” My tone did not broker argument; he knew he had one chance before I was gone from this conversation.

"Right now - I canna say anything other than that Claire." Each word punctuated angrily, and his breath was brimming with frustration.

I had said nothing other than “I will put Willie on; I have nothing more to say.”

____

That had been seven weeks ago, I refused each and every one of his calls, handing the phone to our son. Willie blurting out the highlights of his day, ranging from “and then Johnny said let’s put a straw in the milk – " to "I dinna like Julie sitting beside me Da, she smells like flowers it makes me sneeze." I had no idea what Jamie advised on his end, and I tried to walk into another room. This way it would be easier. Each evening Willie returned the phone with the same message. "Da says he loves ye.”

Up until the book arriving I would grind my teeth or clench my fingernails into my palm to stop myself retorting "tell your father I said to fuck right off." I never would but the fear of it blurting out of my hot-tempered mouth was a risk I had to prepare for.

Now I would give anything to have him ring, wanting to know he was ok, that I believed him, that I loved him too.

After dropping Willie to school and safely ensconced inside my living room I was desperate for any information I could find on Hellwater, anything that might fill in the gaps of what Jamie was doing. Sitting bow legged on my living room floor, laptop cradled precariously between my legs, I typed in Hellwater and almost held my breath as I waited on the page to populate with search results.

Nothing glaringly criminal jumped out at me, Hellwater’s official webpage, media articles discussing the estate and its history, and various Olympic games news reports that mentioned Hellwater for training and breeding of horses. I knew from Jenny that some of these high bred horses had originated from Jamie and was the main reason why William Dunsany had been so taken with Jamie.

Below all these articles was one solely focused on Lord William Dunsany himself, again nothing stood out as new information, he had inherited his title, the Dunsany family had held Hellwater estate for generations, and in the past ten years, they had won numerous awards for being the most accomplished equestrian centre in Europe.

Under personal history it listed William Dunsany as married with three children. I knew of only two daughters. Gordon. One son? I hadn’t heard of him. I opened a second tab and typed in the name. The first link that popped up on my screen was an article detailing the death of Gordon Dunsany almost six years ago. The only son of Lord and Lady Ellesmere, died tragically while abroad in Panama. Very little else apart from listing his previous employment as financial controller of Hellwater estates. So Geneva had taken over from her brother?

Typing Geneva's name into the browser was much less satisfying, and certainly no mention of her untimely demise. Instead, it showed a few images of her pictured at some D list royal events, a few polo matches and more recently at a charity gala in aid of injured jockeys.

I noted the date was the same night Dougal Mc Kenzie had come for dinner and subsequently the night I went on to hear her high pitched giggle on Jamie's phone. I searched up all images of the charity gala, but Jamie was either not photographed or didn't attend. He certainly had no word of attending a fundraiser, but he had said so little about what he was doing in Hellwater, him not mentioning it wasn't significant.

The second article in a financial publication mentioned Geneva taking on the position of financial controller at Hellwater; it was dated one year after her brother died. Listing her educational background which all seemed to be science-based. If the article was accurate, she had very little accounting or financial training.

A weird sense of sadness passed over me at the tragedy which had befallen the Dunsany's, leading to Geneva having to leave everything she had pursued to fill her dead brother's shoes. My mind stretched to wonder how a family who had been through such heartache could be so underhanded in their dealings with Jamie, knowing it separated him from his family.

I was just about to close the article down when I noticed a third link detailing the recent upsurgence in Hellwater business ranking. It also consisted of a paragraph with information on the new state of the art, equestrian centre that would commence construction this year with a budget of over 10 million sterling at its disposal.

A sprig of jealousy tightened over my heart as it occurred to me that I had wholly underestimated Geneva Dunsany in terms of her ability within her job and also in her want of Jamie.

My phone vibrated on the floor beside me, and I almost keeled over in my haste to answer it. My heart sank when I saw Jenny’s name flash up on my screen.

"Hi, Jen," I said feigning brightness. I knew how worried the Frasers had been about Jamie, I couldn’t even attempt or want to tell them what I had discovered in the past three days. Brian would be back in ICU and Jamie would never forgive himself.

“Claire – “

She sounded like she had been running. “Are you alright Jenny, what’s wrong?”

“Oh my god” – she said more urgently than I had ever heard her speak – “ have ye seen any UK news?"

I scrunched my nose up in confusion before she all but shouted.

“Turn on yer UK news!" I hastily scrambled across the floor to my TV, fingers slipping as I tried to think of a channel that had good coverage of British news reports, settling on BBC news and waiting for the screen to adjust.

My eyes blinked, once and then again as I made sure it was Hellwater grounds I was staring at. Two uniformed officers standing guard outside the main gates, one talking casually into their radio transceiver.

A red banner at the bottom of the screen read. Lord William Dunsany and his daughter Geneva Dunsany have been arrested in an early dawn raid at their Hellwater estate, this morning.

A bead of sweat ran down my neck as I waited for the news banner to update.

Lord Dunsany and his daughter have been charged under the Police and Criminal Evidence Act and were under investigation by HM Revenue and Customs Police and Criminal Evidence team.

Suddenly the picture above the banner changed, and Geneva Dunsany appeared on the screen handcuffed and been led from her home by several plain closed policemen.Her father following closely behind her.

Her head bowed to hide her face as she was guided through a maze of photographers and television crews.

A report stood in front of the Hellwater estate, holding a finger to her ear in anticipation of a question from the news-desk. Her British accent was bright and chirpy as she detailed the little information that could be released at this time.

The arrest is said to be in connection with one of the largest tax fraud cases the HMRC has investigated in recent years. Both intrusive surveillance and property surveillance had been practiced under the Regulation of Investigatory Powers Act 2000, and it is believed the Dunsany’s have been under investigation by the HMRC for some time. The Dunsany family have declined to comment at this stage.

My legs gave way, and I fell back awkwardly against the couch. I could still hear Jenny's voice asking if I was there from the phone on the floor.

#outlander fanfic #our son #HMRC

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thenamesseven · 6 years ago

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Word count: 7k

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“You did what!?”

It had almost been two weeks since Jooheon and you had that steamy encounter together. Two weeks since you had him all to yourself, two whole weeks since he left you all wet and frustrated on a stranger's bed and you were about to go insane. You didn't’ know what you had expected to happen after that, maybe some changes in your relationship, maybe a bit more kindness coming from Jooheon but to your surprise, he still seemed to hate you as much as the night you two met.

Sometimes you would catch him looking at you, sometimes your eyes would meet and Jooheon would smirk and send a wink your way but wasn't that just the usual flirting? Was he trying to get you in bed again or was Jooheon just fucking around with your mind instead of with your body this time? He had got a little more touchy than usually, his hand finding unexpected ways to brush against your skin when you least expected it. Jooheon also had made saying things with double meaning into a habit and honestly? You were tired of reading between lines.

In a desperate attempt to vent about it to somebody, you grabbed the first person you saw and locked him into the kitchen with you. Perhaps, that wasn't the smartest decision you have ever made since the person currently sitting in front of you was Minhyuk. He was a really nice guy, sweet and extremely funny to be around but Minhyuk enjoyed gossiping too much and it was only after you had spilled all that happened between Jooheon and you that night that you realized it wouldn't be too long until the whole gang knew he fucked you.

“Shut up!” You reached over the table, covering his mouth “I knew telling somebody wasn't a good idea”

Minhyuk was watching you carefully, his eyes slowly scanning your face as you waited for a response. “Did you feel the need to talk about it?”

You frowned, definitely not expecting that question “I guess? It was kind of nerve wracking when I was the only one knowing it” You shrugged leaning back against your chair.

“Why?” He asked frowning like you.

“What do you mean, why? Because we-we did that!” You half shouted, becoming frustrated with the bizarre conversation the two of you were having.

“I mean, why is it special? Do you feel like that with all of your nightstands?”

The question caught you so off guard that you almost choked on the air you were breathing. Minhyuk smirked confidently when he saw the way you reacted, leaning back against his chair as he crossed his legs. You moved your eyes away from him, still trying to calm down your own heart. Was he asking you if you were in love with him? Of course you weren't! That night the both of you had been bored and drunk out of your minds, the sexual tension that appeared when Jooheon saw your underwear pushed the two of you to do things that he probably regretted now, love was a feeling that was definitely not involved in what happened that night.

“No” You said, your head shaking as he started laughing.

“Yes, you got it bad for him” Minhyuk insisted, your cheeks turning red but not because of embarrassment but because of frustration.

“Minhyuk, I am not in love with Jooheon” You said serious, getting ready to slap him if he didn't stop laughing at you as if you were the funniest thing in the world

“Of course you are not” He replied just saying the things you wanted to hear so you wouldn't get mad at him.

“Right”

“Time will tell though” Minhyuk smirked devilishly, looking into your eyes “Feelings get to the surface sooner or later (Y/N), you can't keep them down forever”

“I'll drown myself if I have to” You scoffed, focusing on the glass of milk that you had served yourself before Minhyuk and you started talking.

“Please do, you would do all of us a favour”

You jumped so high that it wouldn't have been a surprise if you had hit your head on the ceiling. Minhyuk looked at you with wide eyes, struggling to keep himself from laughing while Jooheon looked as pissed as ever with a hint of amusement in his eyes. Had he been there listening the whole time? The last thing you needed in your life right now was teasing Jooheon knowing there was a 1% chance of you loving him. That would just turn into a pretty horrible nightmare.

“Including me obviously” You scoffed, crossing your legs as you leaned back on your chair. Jooheon's eyes lingered on your bare legs and the way the skirt you were wearing was struggling to cover your upper thighs “I wouldn't have to stand you in the afterlife”

“Wouldn’t you be bored without me?” Minhyuk choked this time, coughing and gaining a scowl from Jooheon “Last time I checked you still had work to do, didn't you? Why are you here?”

“I needed to talk with him” You blurted out, willing to protect Minhyuk from getting grounded thanks to your desperation to talk with somebody.

“About what?” Jooheon walked past you to get himself a glass of water, forcing himself to move his eyes away from you.

“Uh, this is my cue to go and finish some errands” Minhyuk cleared his throat, standing up from his chair and rushing out of the room at the speed of light. It always amazed you how quickly he could do something when he wanted to, you shouldn't have trusted him with anything.

“Nothing, trivial stuff” You shrugged again, avoiding to look at him as he dragged a chair to place it in front of you so he could sit down there.

“So you're telling me you keep my men from working just because you need them to talk with you about your trivial stuff?” Jooheon asked and you nodded, hoping he would just believe the huge lie. “You know you made a mistake confinning in Minhyuk right? I’ll know what you two were talking sooner or later”

“I hope that doesn't happen, Minhyuk better keep his mouth closed”

“Oh, so it wasn’t that trivial, was it?” Jooheon smirked, his eyes finding yours.

“It's not your business anyways” You scoffed, leaning back against your chair as he leaned on the table, an amused smile on his face, his eyes glinting with the will of solving the mystery you were for him.

“Of course it’s not” He whispered, voice full of sarcasm. You watched him take a sip from his glass, his eyes glued to the floor before they moved back up to you “Are you two fucking or something like that?”

You choked on your own saliva, totally shocked by the question Jooheon just threw your way. He didn’t look like he was joking though, in fact, the small frown between his eyebrows told you he was being pretty serious about this.

“No, Minhyuk just happened to be the first person I saw so I dragged him into the kitchen with me to talk” You explained, still coughing a little.

“So if I had been the first person you saw, would you have done the same?” Jooheon asked, resting his chin on the palm of his hand.

The answer got out of your lips before you could stop to think about it “No” Jooheon arched his eyebrow, smiling at your sudden honesty.

“Mhm so you were talking about me” It wasn’t a question, Jooheon was stating a fact “Were you telling him about how good I fucked you the other night?” Your eyes opened wide as soon as those words left his lips

“Why would I talk about that!?” You exclaimed, maybe a little bit too nervous for your liking

“Because you loved it so god damn much” Jooheon smirked cockily, tilting his head in such an innocent yet sinful way at the same time, that gesture of his should be ilegal

“Aren’t you getting confused here? I thought you were the one who had an orgasm”

“I wasn’t the one begging though” Jooheon chuckled noticing how your cheeks got pink, the sounds you made and how you begged him echoing in your mind.

“I was drunk and horny” You argued, crossing your arms on your chest feeling vulnerable

“Keep telling yourself that” He said eyeing you, taking another sip from his drink before he let out another sigh “Anyways!” Jooheon placed his hands on the table, your eyes moving to them remembering how good they had felt against your skin.

What the fuck? Why were you thinking about Jooheon in that way?

“I came here to ask you a favor” Those words caught your curiosity, your eyes were quick to move up from his hands to his eyes making him smile, he knew he got your undivided attention right there and loved it “Not a sexual one, of course” He added, the red shadow on your pale skin not going unnoticed by his eyes “I have this important...Event, reuniting with some other people like me” Jooheon explained, you arched an eyebrow

“No” You shook your head making him frown

“You didn’t even let me finish what I was going to say (Y/N)” He groaned frustrated, it was so easy to get on his nerves

“Well, I don’t want to be in a room full of gang bosses or whatever the hell you call yourselves, I have enough dealing with you” You looked at him “I don’t want to get to know your friends”

“They’re not friends kitten, those are people I simply do business with” Although you were half pissed because of the tone he was using with you, talking as if you were an absolute idiot, the pet name he used got your skin turning into goosebumps while a hot, soft feeling settled down in your stomach

“Why would you want me there?” You asked still hesitant about the whole thing

“They always bring some chicks to our meetings and I’m the only one there alone, being humiliated by their proud looks” Jooheon sighed “I could get a girlfriend anywhere but I don’t want dumb bitches getting in my business, you know? That’s where you come in kitten, I want you to pretend that you, at least, stand me for tonight”

“No” You said again, Jooheon looked truly shocked “Why?”

“I am not a thing Jooheon. Plus, how do I know this is not one of your stupid and twisted games to embarrass me infront of everybody? They will all know my face too and I really am not interested in being a target for them” Jooheon frowned, your words concerning him a little. He knew that you two were always bickering about the other but the fact that you would feel unsafe around him? That was bullshit

“I wouldn’t hesitate to shoot one of them if they did something threatening involving you (Y/N)” The serious tone sent chills down your spine, funny Jooheon was gone and the man across you was not joking around “One wrong look and hell will break loose, believe me when I say you’ll be safe as long as you’re glued to my side” He casually rested one of his warm, big hands on yours definitely calming your erratic thoughts down.

“Why me?” You asked sighing, running your fingers through your hair with your free hand

“Because you’re the only female I’ve spent the most time with, you probably know me as well as the guys and I would be lying if I say you aren’t pretty fucking hot” He smirked at his last words seeing the small smile pulling up the corners of your lips “Plus, I know you well enough to know you won’t reject the opportunity to have some free food”

You couldn’t help but laugh at that one “Alright, you got me with the free food, pick me up at seven”

Jooheon stood up from his chair smirking, leaning down behind yours to whisper in your ear “Wear something sexy babygirl” And like that, with a soft chuckle, the devil himself exited the kitchen to leave you and your thoughts alone,

--------------------------------------------------

This wasn’t the first date you were going to, in fact, this thing you had planned with Jooheon wasn’t even a date since it was fake as fuck but for some reason, you felt as if there were thousands of butterflies inside your stomach. Maybe it was the fact that you were about to attend a meeting with a bunch of people as dangerous as Jooheon what was making you freak out so hard. What you couldn’t comprehend was the reason why you kept checking your outfit in the mirror, scanning the way your cleavage looked a little more accentuated or the way the cloth of your dress hugged every single curve of your body enough to have any guy salivating behind you. Your make up was another thing that made you stay close to all the mirrors around the house, constantly checking your red lipstick, your eyeshadow and eyeliner. The way you looked had nothing to do with impressing Jooheon, you just wanted to be one of the hottest girls there so everybody would be envious of him for having you. If you were going to do this, you wanted to do a perfect job.

As expected from him, Jooheon arrived at seven o’clock, knocking on your door twice. For the first few seconds after knowing he was waiting you kind of panicked, running around your room like a fidgeting teenager as you searched for your jacket, purse and keys at the same time. After hearing Jooheon knocked for a third time, you dashed out of your room, walking into the little table you had at the entrance before you could reach the door.

“Ow, fuck!” You shouted, bending over to grab your poor toes, trying your hardest to hold the small tears that were threatening to fall due to the pain you were feeling. Willing to think the door was thick enough for Jooheon not to hear your quiet cries of pain, you cleared your throat, brushing some hair out of your face before opening the door, forcing a smile up your lips that probably looked more like a grimace.

“Should I act like you didn’t hurt yourself or should I be concern because you probably broke one of your toes?” Jooheon asked, the smirk on his face telling you he had heard you perfectly.

“I don’t think I broke it” You muttered leaning against the door, clearing your throat again to get rid of the pain in your voice as you slid your arms into the jacket to get ready to get out.

”Here” Jooheon said catching your attention, handing you a single red rose that he had been hiding behind himself. The gesture was obviously unexpected but kind of welcomed, even the word cute crossed your mind when you looked down at the rose “As a...Small thank you for doing this for me” He said scratching the back part of his neck, an insecure smile on his lips. Was he...Nervous? “I know it’s probably not the best plan and that you’re not an official member of this gang and honestly I thought you would-”

“It’s okay! Jooheon it’s really fine” You tried calming him down, he was so fidgety tonight “I really appreciate it though, let me put it in a vase and then we can head out” Jooheon had never been at your place before so it didn’t shock you the way he curiously glanced around, trying to absorb as many details as he could. Little things as the books you had, pictures that were hanging on your walls or the colorful decoration that you seemed to love would gave him some hints to get to know you a little better. However, as much as he had wanted to wander around and satisfy his curiosity he stayed at the door and didn’t walk inside to not invade your privacy. You came back a couple of minutes later, sliding your phone into your purse “You okay, Jooheon?” You asked, kind of concerned for him

“We’re about to meet with a lot of big people, I’m always this nervous before meeting with one of them” He replied as you stepped outside of the apartment, closing the door behind you “Just a little anxious, you know?”

“You serious?” You asked locking the door right before the both of you started making your way downstairs and out of the building “Aren’t you like, as powerful and strong as them?” The two of you got inside the car, Jooheon nodding at your question

“Maybe? I probably am” He smirked, your words probably giving him a little bit of more confidence in himself “I just don’t know” He said moving in his seat, his hands gripping the steering wheel “I don’t want to make a fool of myself you know? One wrong move with those people and you’re a cow surrounded by hungry wolves”

“Did you just compare yourself with a cow?” You asked jokingly, willing to make him laugh.

“I might have” He admitted laughing, relaxing for some brief seconds “But I am a sexy cow and you know it” This time, you just couldn't help but laugh at the way he wiggled his eyebrows.

His words weren’t comforting but you were able to see a new face of Jooheon that you hadn’t discovered until tonight, it was weird to be around him without sarcasm or snarky remarks, he wasn’t the same Jooheon you were used to but this new side of him was more normal, almost like a current guy who was just nervous about something.

And as shocking as it sounded, if he needed you to be his emotional support tonight, that’s exactly what you would be.

By the time the both of you got there, the groan that left Jooheon’s lips told you that you two were the last ones to arrive. It was impossible to ignore the fuzzy feeling in your stomach, the way Jooheon kept fidgeting on his seat when he stopped the car as he was probably preparing himself for what was about to happen. You had the feeling you would have to be strong enough for him to go through this night, after all, Jooheon had asked you to come for a reason.

“Let’s go, we have a meeting to attend, have we not?”

The both of you walked out of the car and walked up to the mansion that Jooheon had referred as Namjoon's home, the place had so many god damn rooms that if Jooheon left you alone you would surely get lost in it.

“Jooheon wait” You walked a bit faster, catching up to him quickly enough to stop him before he could ring the doorbell. When he stopped walking, you leaned forward and planted a kiss on his neck leaving a lipstick mark on his skin.

Jooheon grinned “Couldn't hold yourself back kitten?”

“No idiot, this will be your excuse for getting here late” You replied rolling your eyes, sighing as you rang the doorbell and wrapped your arm around Jooheon's

“Nice save, I like it” Jooheon smirked glancing down at you, wrapping his arm around your waist and pulling you closer to his body “Maybe I'll have to bring you around more often”

Before you could reply to that the door opened and the both of you were guided into the dining room where everybody was already sitting down, plates beginning to be served now that Jooheon and you had arrived. You felt every pair of eyes on you two, first on Jooheon, their eyes lingering on the lipstick stain you left and then on your dress and the way you swayed your hips with every step you took. Men radiated lust, women jealousy, the deathly combination you and Jooheon made was even more dangerous that the gangsters reunited in the room.

“Ah finally! We thought you weren't coming Jooheon” The man, who you supposed by the description Jooheon gave you in the car was Namjoon, talked with a small smile on his face.

“Sorry, there were...Some things that had to be taken care off” You giggled by his side, catching the man's attention “You should apologize kitten, it was your fault after all”

“Fine” You rolled your eyes, acting like those bitchy spoiled girls that were usually brought to these places because they were dumb enough to not understand a thing that was being said. “Sorry, we got a little busy in the shower” You chuckled, letting Jooheon guide you to your chair before he sat down besides you.

“Ah, it's alright, it’s alright” The other guy, Jaebum said smirking “It was already time someone made our Jooheon arrive late to this things” He chuckled and you smiled fakely at him.

Dinner was boring, you were forced to interact with the other guys’ girlfriends who were constantly speaking about clothes, high heels and the next plastic surgery they were planning to go through. At some point, they all started bragging about the places where their fiances were going to take them, the giggles that escaped their lips when you said Jooheon and you never went on vacations together made you slightly frustrated. You kind of felt a pang of jealousy, not because Jooheon and you weren’t together but because these women seemed to be genuinely loved by their boyfriends/ fiances / husbands or whatever they were and you had nobody to spoil you or make love to you they way they were talking about.

The closest thing to their sexual experiences you had was Jooheon angry fucking you and that hadn’t been romantic at all. You were snapped out of your thoughts when you felt a hand being placed on your naked knee, gently squeezing it before letting it go.

“Are you bored?” Jooheon whispered, glancing down at you. Dessert was brought and your eyes lighted up at the sight of the chocolate cake in your plate. You shook your head, not wanting Jooheon to feel rushed to leave because of you “Then? Why are you so sulky, kitten? Did they say something awful?” He asked genuinely concerned.

“Uh no” You shook your head, cheeks turning pink. How could you tell Jooheon your thoughts? That you felt...Lonely and craved the attention of a guy? That would be so embarrassing “They're just bragging off about stuff” You brushed off with a smile. Jooheon smiled back at you and nodded before he squeezed your knee again, slowly moving his hand up on your thigh. Feeling you jump under his touch, Jooheon smirked and leaned forward, his lips brushing against your ear “You're behaving so well kitten, keep it like that and I might as well reward you later” You gulped at his words, face turning crimson red due to what he just said. When he moved away winking at you before he returned his attention to the other guys and the food on his plate, you couldn't help but let out a quiet whine already missing the feeling of his warmth surrounding your body.

You just happened to be weak tonight and Jooheon seemed to be in the mood to give some affection.

You didn’t pay attention to anything during the rest of the dinner, you focused yourself on savouring the delicious chocolate cake for as long as you could while stealing some glances at Jooheon. He looked handsome tonight, you were used to seeing him wearing casual clothes, maybe jeans sometimes but the black suit that covered his body today made him look so mature and sexy at the same time. The gold jewelry adorning his fingers, the gold watch on his wrist screamed power along with that cocky smile he seemed to be sporting tonight. Plus you just couldn’t forget about how cute he had looked before, all nervous and fidgety because he didn't want to look like an idiot in front of you.

That’s why when Jooheon stood from his chair almost two hours after dessert, you jumped a little, surprised by the sound the chair made against the floor. He took his time fixing his jacket and moved his eyes down at you, tilting his head gently to tell you to stand up. When you did, still zoning out a little bit instead of taking your hand Jooheon wrapped his arm around your waist pressing your side tightly against his.

“It’s been a pleasure doing business with you guys but I have another person that needs to be entertained” He announced smirking down at you, leaning down to place an affectionate kiss on your forehead that left the ladies in the room sighing longingly. Bet their perfect boyfriends didn't kiss them like that.

Wait, what?

Still confused with yourself you let him drag you out of the dinning room and out of the house, the fresh air caressing your skin in a welcoming way. Back in the meeting the atmosphere had been a little tense and suffocating but you were finally glad to be out.

“So?” You asked as you made your wait back to your car “How was it?”

“Could have been better” Jooheon shrugged “They’ll stay away from my territory but I didn't manage to make any huge deals” He mumbled, you watched him closely and confused. He didn't look mad, what was wrong then?

“Why? What happened?” You insisted, stopping by his car.

Jooheon looked at you, suddenly stepping forward to get closer “I was distracted” He whispered resting his hand on the car, trapping you between him and his car “Your damn knee kept brushing against mine” His tone got lower, your legs started getting weak as you leaned back against the car. Jooheon's lips found their way to your ear, once again “I could only think about sitting you on the edge of that fucking table and fuck your brains out kitten, they wanted to eat you alive and I wanted to show them what’s mine” He growled sexily into your ear, his arms snaking around your waist to keep you close to his body.

“J-Jooheon...They could see us…” You muttered, biting your lower lip

“Let them see” He whispered kissing your earlobe, moving his lips down your neck in such a slow way that it got your insides feeling like putty “My kitten behaved so well, she needs a reward” One of his hands moved up your back to gently pull you hair, tilting your head back so he could drag his tongue across your neck “You learned your lesson and finally turned into a good girl” You felt him chuckle against your skin, his hips pushing forward against yours so you could feel his arousal. But then, Jooheon pulled back away from your body. The gesture made you feel hot and bothered, needing the feeling of his skin against yours, you knew he wouldn’t fuck you right there but you wanted him so bad “Get in the car and tell me how to get to your place”

You froze on the spot “My place?”

Jooheon nodded eagerly “The guys are in mine, I'm planning to make you scream tonight again, so unless you don't mind them hearing us we can go to mi-”

“Let's go to mine”

Once in the car you found yourselves unable to keep your hands off each other. This time there wasn't any excuse to what the two of you were doing, you weren't drunk enough, Jooheon hadn't smoked anything...It was just physical attraction, arousal that the memories from your first night together created. It was probably something that wouldn't last as long as true love but it was what the two of you needed and wanted in that moment.

When you arrived to your place, as soon as Jooheon closed the door behind him, he gripped your wrist and pulled you hard against the door. Holding you there, he eyed your body, taking slow steps closer to you, giving him the impression of a lion stalking his next prey.

“This fucking dress” He tugged on the cloth of your dress, pulling gently as he rested his forehead against yours “Has been driving me nuts (Y/N)” He whispered “Did you dress like this for me?”

You didn't need to think about the answer “Yes” You whispered leaning forward to kiss his lips but he moved away, not letting you

“Yes, what? Baby?”

“Daddy?” You asked hesitatingly, you didn't know what Jooheon's kinks were.

He smirked shaking his head “It's sir for you kitten” He licked your lips, tempting you, wanting to make you suffer “Did you dress like this for me then?”

“Yes sir”

The groan that left his lips gave away that he was liking this as much as you or even more “Good girl”

After that he gave the both of you a break and leaned down to press his lips against yours. It was like an explosion, as soon as his lips collided with yours it felt like all your senses came to life, as if you were hypersensitive to every single thing now. His tongue pushed yours, seeking the dominance he radiated, forcing a moan out of your lips. Your hands moved up to his neck, his hands went down to your thighs and in two seconds you were in the air, pressed up against the wall and his chest. At this point the hem of your dress was at your thighs, his shirt was almost unbuttoned. Both of your hair messy, lips swollen from the kisses and pupils dilated with pleasure.

“Bedroom” He whispered against your lips, although you were too focused on the feeling of his tight crotch against your most sensitive spot and didn’t even understood what he was saying.

“Yes sir” You whispered unconsciously, almost automatically.

“Kitten” Jooheon moaned, obviously liking how those words sounded from your lips but chuckling huskily when he realized you were so horny that you weren't paying attention to him anymore “Your bedroom, where is it?” He asked again, a sweet smile pulling up his lips as he held you.

“Oh! Uhm” Your cheeks turned red, your heart beating faster since you made yourself a fool in front of him. “Second door on the left”

With a nod, Jooheon pulled you away from the door and with a strength you didn't know he had the guy carried you into your bedroom, not even caring to close the bedroom door since you two were the only ones in the apartment. He put you down, giving you another kiss while his hands roamed to your back, looking for the zipper. Once he found it, Jooheon didn't waste any time pulling it down and letting your dress fall onto the floor, surrounding your ankles. His eyes scanned the lingerie you were wearing, a long string of curses leaving his lips. His brain stopped working for a moment, Jooheon wanted to touch you everywhere and he was so eager that he didn't even know where to place his hands first.

“Let's get you undressed too sir” You whispered with a small smile, getting rid of his already unbuttoned shirt as your hands moved down in a hurry to get rid of his pants. Jooheon groaned when your hand brushed against the bulge in his boxers, you fought back a moan and the will to beg him to fuck you right there.

“Get on the bed (Y/N)” He said quietly, spanking your ass gently when you walked past him to lay down on your back. He was smirking down at you, knowing you had moved your hips extra hard when you walked to tease him even more.

“You really want to play that game kitten? Don't want to get your reward?” He asked teasingly, hovering over you, placing one of his knees between your legs.

“Jooheon, do something” You whispered, dying to feel his touch

“Jooheon? I don't know who he is” You looked at him frowning, not believing he was making you follow the rules

“Sir, God, please touch me”

“Fuck, that’s it kitten” He moaned, hand moving to your panties and starting to rub your clit as fast as he could “Im your fucking God and you're the Goddess I'm going to praise tonight” His words and the movement of his hand made you moan kind of loud, you knew that at some point tonight he was going to make you scream. Frustrated with your panties he pulled them down, throwing them away and opening your legs wide enough for him to watch your wet entrance. He licked his lips unconsciously, your heart thundering in your chest “You're so fucking beautiful, do you know that?” He lowered himself until his lips were against the inside of your thigh “But you are so fucking stubborn sometimes” He whispered, leaving butterfly kisses on your skin “Talking back to me with that dirty mouth of yours” He licked dangerously close to your wet lips, your body tensing underneath him “That's why when you behaved so well tonight I knew I had to do something, I had to repay the favor, hadn't I kitten?”

“Yes sir, a-ah!” Your answered was cut when his lips hovered over your clit and he directly started sucking on it. He didn't give you any warnings, you didn't even expect him to eat you out tonight but here he was, with his head between your legs, licking and sucking as if his life depended on it. Jooheon could do things with his tongue that you weren't sure that were possible in this world. “F-Fuck Jooheon…” He spanked you hard, groaning against your pussy “S-Sorry, s-sir”

“Good girl” He whispered again, licking your most sensitive part as he kept his eyes up on yours “You taste like honey, so sweet baby...So good” The pet name got you holding back a moan, unlike your first time together Jooheon was treating you so well tonight “I might get addicted to you, would you let me do this again?” He smirked going down to keep licking

“Of course I would sir” You moaned out, gripping the bed sheets.

“That’s right, because who you belong to kitten?”

“Im all yours sir”

Jooheon moaned, his body getting incredibly tense as he slowly slid two fingers inside of you. The two of you made eye contact and it was like the world stop moving, like time only kept going for you and Jooheon. He was bringing you closer and closer to your orgasm and he didn't seem to have intentions of stopping tonight.

“I almost forgot how tight you are” He whispered kissing up your body until your lips met again, Jooheon letting you taste yourself on his lips, he groaned moving his fingers, carefully stretching you out as he searched for your g-spot “Mhmm, moan for me kitten, I'll deal with the neighbors if they come to complain” He nuzzled you, moving his lips down your neck to suck a mark right there before he started moving his fingers incredibly fast. “Because they will baby” He spoke over the sound of your moans, his hot breath hitting the right spots on your skin “We’re not letting them sleep tonight” As much as you tried to hold yourself back, as soon as those words slipped from Jooheon's lips and his fingers stretched your inner walls once again you reached your first orgasm of the night.

You moaned his name really loud as he helped you ride out your high, his fingers never ceasing their movement no matter how loud you got. After some time, Jooheon pulled his fingers out of you, giving you a small break. He licked and sucked his own fingers before he leaned down to kiss you deeply, swallowing your moans and hard breathing.

“So fucking sexy kitten, I love watching your face when you come undone” He whispered against your lips, pulling down his underwear and placing himself between your legs. “But you know what I love more?” He asked innocently, looking down at you as he placed his forearms on each side of your face, his lips almost touching yours “Being inside of you”

The two of you didn't need to say anything else as he moved his hips against yours, sliding his erection inside of you, groaning everytime you clenched around him trying to get used to his length. Once he was deep inside of you, he let out a moan, quieting himself when he pressed his lips against yours again in a passionate kiss.

“You feel so good” You whispered against his lips, his hips stuttering due to your words

“You feel fucking amazing kitten” He complimented in return, groaning as he rested his forehead against yours.

You wouldn't say Jooheon was making love to you, in fact, it didn't took too long for him to start moving roughly into you with hard and fast thrusts. However, the way his lips moved with yours the way his eyes looked into yours showed a passion that simple fucking didn't have. Right there, between the two of you, feelings that weren't being acknowledged started growing, incrementing the need for one another, the pleasure his hips made you feel.

“S-Sir” You whispered, legs around his waist, arms around his neck to keep his body as close to you as possible “I'm so close”

The only sounds in your apartment were the loud moans coming from the both of you in the room, the sound of skin slapping against skin and some occasional yet passionate dialogue between the two of you. The neighbors were so going to come to complain later, they simply weren't used to such...Activities.

“M-Me too baby” He replied, nudging your head with his to peck your lips “Wait for me, cum with me (Y/N)”

“Harder please sir” You begged “Make me remember tomorrow what we did tonight”

Jooheon lost it there, he started moving so hard and fast against you that at some point you feared he was going to break your bed. You weren't complaining though, it hurt a little but the pleasure was so fucking good you never wanted him to stop moving.

“I-I'm cumming!” You shouted, Jooheon moaned

“Say my name (Y/N), fucking shout it”

Oh and you so did. You started screaming his name over and over again with each thrust, getting louder to the point you were screaming when the both of you reached your orgasms. Jooheon moaned your name too and it was the most beautiful thing you've ever heard in your life, something you would never get tired of hearing.

Jooheon’s thrusting slowed down once the two of you were done but he never moved from above you. He pressed his body harder against yours since he was too tired from keeping himself up, his face buried in your neck as he tried to catch his breath. You were doing the same, hands unconsciously moving up and down his back as you tried to stop panting, feeling his cum leaking out of you.

“Shit…(Y/N)...” He groaned when he pulled himself out of you, rolling over to lay by your side “I almost pass out on you, that orgasm was...Wow” The boyish smile on his face made you chuckle, it was probably the first time you were having a conversation with him were insults and sarcasm weren’t involve.

“Same here, I still am struggling to breathe” He chuckled at your words, turning his head to still look at you “Come here” Whining like a small sleepy kid, Jooheon pulled you closer to him, pressing your chest against his side. “Can I sleep here tonight? Or would you prefer if I go back to my place?”

Your heart skipped a beat at his question “You can stay here” You muttered quietly, your muscles relaxing as he caressed your back “Don’t expect me to make pancakes in the morning because I doubt I’ll be able to get out of bed”

“Mhmm” A smug smile pulled up his lips as he leaned down to kiss you, his naked body pressed against yours “You asked for it” He chuckled when you blushed, burying your face in his neck “Look” Jooheon let out a soft sigh, his mind preparing the words he was going to say “I truly don’t know what’s going on between us anymore” He admitted chuckling, his eyes watching your face “But maybe we don’t have to be insulting each other constantly, you know?”

“Yeah, it’s not so bad” You replied with a small smile kind of glad that Jooheon was as confused about everything as you.

“How about you come out with me and the guys on Friday? We’ll be celebrating the end of a job and we’re going to have dinner somewhere, probably head to a club after dinner” He proposed, it was his weird way of asking you out. Going on a date with six other people wasn’t ideal but honestly? You couldn’t be happier.

“You sure? Thought you didn’t want people to see us”

“That’s because I wanted to keep you safe” Jooheon explained, playing with your hair absentmindedly “But now that you’ve met other bosses, there’s no point on keeping you hidden” He yawned, resting his head against yours “So are you coming?”

“Yeah, why not?” You replied, hiding your smile against the crook of his neck.

“Great”

Jooheon and you got quiet, probably because he had fallen asleep. You struggled a little though, not used to sharing a bed with somebody. It wasn’t until maybe an hour later that you were dozing off when his voice woke you up.

“Kitten?”

“Mhm?” You asked half asleep.

“Don’t wear that dress though, I don’t want the guys flirting with you”

Poor Jooheon didn’t know you had dresses worse than the one you wore tonight and that you were planning to wear one of them.

What? You just loved this new side of him.

#kpop fanfiction #kpop smut #kpop oneshots #monsta x #monsta x fic #monsta x fluff #monsta x hyungwon #monsta x jooheon #monsta x kihyun #monsta x minhyuk #monsta x shownu #monsta x wonho #monsta x changkyun #monsta x im #monsta x smut #mafia au #monsta x angst #tamed

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safflowerseason · 5 years ago

Note

What are you thoughts on the Dan and Amy argument scene in 5x03 because honestly I don’t remember a very big one

Oh, Anon. Strap in. I think you have not realized what you have unleashed.

There is one very simple reason why this fight means so much in the history of Dan and Amy. In this scene, Dan loses the most important thing to him, and he realizes it.

It’s not a *big* fight in the sense that it lasts very long, or that there’s a lot of yelling. But I would absolutely argue that it’s a very momentous fight for Dan and Amy. It’s my inspiration for all Dan/Amy fights, because it is the only fight they have that’s about their relationship.

This fight basically severs their emotional relationship until the middle of S6, and also really boils down their connection to its fundamental parts, encapsulating all the reasons why Dan and Amy together are so dysfunctional and yet also so deeply tied to one another. A large part of this is due to the strength of the acting. Both Anna Chlumsky and Reid Scott bring the whole history of Dan and Amy to the forefront of their performances. And I just think this scene is played so well, particularly by Reid Scott, who brings out this very subtle but dangerous edge to the argument. Ultimately, this is one of the very few scenes where we see Dan care about something that’s not his professional ambition or his ability to fuck whoever he wants at will, and we see that in RS’s performance. However Mandel was directing (…or not directing) this scene, Dan and Amy’s emotional connection is not played for laughs here, as it is so often for the remaining seasons. It’s one of the few Mandel-era scenes that treats Dan and Amy’s relationship very seriously.

In this vein, the fight also possesses a particular meta-importance as well, because it’s one of the last *real* scenes that Dan and Amy share before Mandel’s vision for the show fully set in. Dan is pre-Mandelian Dan, an ambitious asshole who’s got a crush on Amy and literally cannot handle it in any way approximating healthy. By the end of S5, Mandelian Dan has begun to emerge—this merry, stupid, politics-bro incapable of any genuine emotion and who just sees Amy as his “buddy.” It’s definitely one of the last real scenes Reid Scott has where he’s getting to do something meaty. There are some decent moments in S6, where you see his frustration with his new career come through, but he’s separated from most of the main cast, so they don’t have the same overall impact within the show.

In other words, this scene actually feels like it matters for Dan and Amy. It doesn’t feel like some upside-down absurd nightmare where everyone is casually acting out in monstrous ways because nothing matters. Dan did something shitty, and he faces the very real consquences of his actions in this fight with Amy.

The challenge of this scene is that basically by the end of S5, Veep is a different show, so I think looking back from that perspective, and considering especially the trajectory of Dan’s character, I can see why the weight of it might dissolve. Dan and Amy still work together frequently after 5.03, but we don’t really see the emotional dimension of their relationship the way we used to, except for Dan driving out to Maryland to bother Amy at her parents’ house, and Amy’s dad going off on him in the Brookheimer kitchen (and still, the show completely dodges the significance of that whole interlude.) This kind of works in the sense that Amy has obviously tried to cut off any emotional connection the two of them have, even if she’s still forced to rely on him for work, but the show never explores that notion. Significantly, as we get further and further in S5, the action within each episode starts to matter less and less, not to mention time and space start to bend in weird ways.

Still, if you pretend S7 does not exist, you can trace changes in Dan’s behavior to this fight where he loses Amy, the primary example of course being that he starts sleeping around more aggressively.

Because I’m truly obsessed with this fight and also want to procrastinate, I’m going to close read it now so everyone will understand my deep obsession with it. (But I’m going to preserve everyone’s timelines from my obsessive insanity.) Ahem.

Context: So, Dan has slept with Sophie because he thought she could get him a job at CBS News. (Which is a patently ridiculous idea. Dan would know if Amy had a sister who worked at CBS News, not to mention the fact that he has met Sophie before and obviously knows enough about Amy’s family to refer to Sophie’s children as “illegitimate.” But to be clear, I do absolutely believe that S5 Dan would sleep with Amy’s sister, if Amy’s sister worked in television. I just don’t believe that Dan would buy that Sophie works at CBS News.)

Dan does this right after Amy communicates to him that…she’d like to have sex with him.

It’s a huge admission for Amy, considering her past with Dan, and makes Dan’s betrayal a million times worse. In Amy’s head, she can’t believe she was so fucking stupid a second time. Instead of confirmation that Dan is attracted to her, she gets confirmation that no matter how much Dan likes her as a person, he’s still going to fuck her over with her sister in the pursuit of his career. It’s like a repeat of what he did to her when they ‘dated’, except a million times worse, because their relationship is much deeper than it was at the beginning of S1 and also because it’s her sister. HER HORRIBLE SISTER.

Amy’s implied invitation to Dan carries with it all the weight of their arc over the course of the previous four seasons. They have grown much closer together than they were at the beginning of S1. Dan has proven himself to be there for Amy in very meaningful ways. They know each other much more intimately now, and they rely on each other a lot more. And Dan is a genuine person around Amy in a way he is around no one else. Even if Amy has not grasped that Dan is attracted to her, I do believe she understands on some level that she brings out Dan’s most human qualities.

Also, Dan TOTALLY understood what Amy was saying to him. His smug expression said it all. He decides to sleep with Sophie after he’s already decided to go for it with Amy. Bleah. As much this essay is delving into Dan’s psyche and trying to understand and explain why he acts so horribly, it’s absolutely not a justification for him being shitty and mean to Amy. He deserves to be tortured forever.

So, fast forward twenty-four hours. Dan approaches Amy at the end of the day, looking all cute with his stupid laptop bag. At first, the conversation begins like a normal one:

Jesus, you're still here?

I don't know why. My only jobs seem to be asking Bob and finding out what Bob thinks.

Ugh. They’re still work spouses in this moment.

Yeah, it's been pretty fun to watch. (pause) So you want to grab a drink or something?

First, we must notice how quiet Reid Scott is playing Dan so far. There’s almost none of Dan’s usual swagger. He sounds like he’s had a shitty day and he wants to go blow off steam with his best friend. Second, he is just a bit purposeful about asking her for drinks. He does this cute little shoulder-shrug thing! Like, we know Dan and Amy have had a thousand after-work drinks by now. They were lobbying together for months. Dan’s making it a thing for a reason (because he slept with Sophie and he knows that’s a shitty thing to do.)

Third, what the hell is Dan doing by basically asking Amy out after he’s slept with her sister?

Two things: he wants to pretend like nothing has happened, that the status-quo between them has not changed. It’s also his way of communicating to Amy that sleeping with Sophie doesn’t change anything about their relationship, in his mind. In other words—sleeping with Sophie hasn’t changed the fact that Dan still wants to get drinks with Amy and tease Amy and talk to her all the time. In Dan’s head, Sophie was basically a business decision that failed, so nothing needs to change. They can still be Dan and Amy. Maybe they can even have sex.

Because Amy is not an emotionally stunted robot, this logic obviously does not work with her, and so she declines his invitation.

No, thanks. Oh, but…

(Dan shrugs and starts to turn away.)

Reid Scott’s expression here is a great combination of “hangdog” and “whatever, I don’t care.” Notice that Dan is still *quiet.* He doesn’t fight with Amy, he doesn’t try to get her to choose his company over work. It feels like Dan is maybe aware that he can’t really demand Amy’s time right now, all things considered. It’s time to go lick his wounds in private.

…on your way, would you mind stopping at ABC News and picking up some Advil? Oh, did I say ABC News? I meant Rite Aid.

What a poisonously mocking delivery by Anna Chlumsky. She can’t help herself. And even though she is obviously hurt and furious, there’s a kind of power there. She can at least make fun of Dan for being so fucking stupid and short-sighted that he misheard CVS for CBS.

And Dan obviously embarrassed and angry at himself for sleeping with Sophie (I mean, duh, he’s gotten literally nothing out of it). And on top of feeling humiliated, there’s Amy, the one person he possesses real regard for, simultaneously mocking him for how stupid he was and denying him something he wants—her company. He wants to forget what happened, and Amy won’t let him. No one can get at Dan like Amy can, and she goes right for his masculine ego. Which is basically all he has.

And so he lashes out at her, with the one tool left to him—reminding Amy that he chose her sister over her.

Yeah, you know what, I think you're forgetting something, Amy, it’s that I still had sex with your sister.

The way Reid Scott says this line is just so awful. The smirk on his face is deadly. There’s none of his usual warmth—it’s like if he were actually the villainous DC sociopath everyone thinks he is, instead of an insecure asshole with a really handsome face. He’s angry, with himself and with Amy for refusing to forget that it happened, and the only thing he can do is take his anger out on her. And the way he eases into the line, with that little “yeah” at the beginning…he knows what he’s doing. He knows what he’s done with their relationship. He goes right for it as the way to hurt Amy. He fucked up, and he can’t handle it and he can’t deal with Amy mocking him for it, so he just has to rub it into Amy’s face.

And Amy is angry right back at him, for being so terrible, and she’s also angry at herself, for believing Dan had changed. She looks like she’s swallowing down a scream. Nothing about this scene is really funny. These are two people who possess so much feeling for one other, and yet they’re also ready to hurt each other in order to save themselves from the reality of what it means to care for someone else: the fact that another person can hurt you.

…So good night, have a pleasant evening, and I had sex with your sister.

(Dan exits.)

And the camera lingers on Dan’s whole exit, which is significant. When have we ever seen Dan voluntarily leave a fight with Amy?

You might actually want to go to Rite Aid. Get some Valtrex. (pause, then rustling) Dan?

Amy gets one last parting shot, and the fight is over. I can’t quite figure out from Anna Chlumsky’s delivery if she calls for Dan because the rustling is unsettling, or if she think he’s making the noise, but either way…Dan is gone.

So, Anon. That’s why this fight is so important. Either I’ve convinced you or terrified you with my obsessive analysis.

#veep analysis #5.03 #dan egan #amy brookheimer #otp: star-crossed fuck-ups

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ververa · 5 years ago

Text

“Asylum” (2/?)

Part 1

It took me forever to finish it. Sorry for this

@misssmephisto thank you so much for your help <3 I’d never finish it if it hadn’t been for you.

Dr Ellie Staple x patient

Warning: mention of eating disorders, degradation, abuse, homophobia

A human’s body is said to be a kind of sanctuary – and ought to be treated as it. Though, after two weeks at the ward you already knew they do not consider it that way. The duo from hell steadily, but effectively makes you feel like a trash. Your blood may remain pure – as long as you’re not an addict – though your body and then soul is completely destroyed. You’re losing indications of humaneness. It’s unavoidable, though the speed of this process depends mostly on your character and psychological strength. It’s kind of incompatible, actually, for a psychiatric hospital’s aim ought to be helping patients to regain their emotional stability and well-being, not to cause further damage. But that place and those people seemed to have their own laws.

It was hard to say why it didn’t work on me the same way it did on the rest. Maybe it’s because I was already used to being treated this way – a troubled childhood it was – maybe it was thanks to the conversations I was having with Doctor Staple or maybe she was right saying that I’m stronger that I think. Whatever it was it put me in an awkward position. Sister Janet was treating me as a danger to her position – for which she had been working hard to maintain. The power and control that she was holding was at risk, when the patients were around such an outstander like me. I was afraid of her, of course, cause she was an obstacle that could effectively prevent me from leaving that place.

The only thing I desired was remaining sane in that place – deprived of sanity. And that was the reason for her to acknowledged me as a rebel. And the one rebel is enough to bring up the fighting spirit in the whole tribe.

I had never meant to get in her way – it was only a temporary, not permanent, destination for me, and getting on her nerves wasn’t something unplanned. Actually, I didn’t even realize I was doing it. How could I know that by talking to other patients I may somehow overstep particular boundaries of her rules. But, apparently, I did it. Sister Janet perceived my getting on with others and helping them to feel more secure, simply by talking, as undermining her authority.

And so, as I broke the rules I was going to get punished.

You may think that you know what a humiliation is, yet she can show you it from a different – even worse – perspective. She along with Doctor Schulz can make your nightmares come true. They are capable of making what’s the worst in you to come out and destroy you from inside. That’s how their tactic works.

Janet’s favourite method of punishment or rather the beginning of the whole penalty process – was the room search. If you think that you’re safe, as you do not hide anything, you’re naive. It’s not about checking if addicts or anorexics hide some illegal substances for real. The purpose is to find “the thing” that will provide her with justification for punishing you. And trust me, if she really wants to make you suffer, she will find a way.

That’s exactly what she did with me. Of course, she needed to make sure nobody would stand in her way. She waited for Doctor Staple and one more psychiatrist, who were more likely to disturb her, to leave the clinic. Ellie was going on a business trip and so everybody knew she would be absent for 3 or so days. That clinched our fate.

Sister put two contiguous wards on the state of alert. It was already quite late – and it was quite unexpected when they told us to stand at the corridor.

At first it was hard for me to figure out what exactly was going on. Though Martin – who was himself for the last few days – explained it to me. We kind of befriended with each other. He was a man, of course, but he was so different to all of them – and instead of making me scared he was actually the one who could calm me down. I failed to understand how he could have no friends being such a kind and caring person. I couldn’t make them like him, so I became his friend instead. And in return he was my guardian.

I could feel how he was trembling when one of the male nurses walked out of the room that I was sharing with two more women. The nurse was holding a little bottle of some sort of laxating drug.

He handed it to Sister Janet and she looked at us.

“Well, what we’ve got here? It seems that somebody has broken the rules” she stated triumphantly

None of us dared to say anything, not even look at the woman.

“So, I expect the person did it to confess their guilt. Miss Jones?” she addressed one of the woman

It was the very same girl, who almost committed a suicide because of doctor Schulz and his therapy.

Her state still wasn’t really good. Even me – the person who knew nothing about the psychiatry could say she was on the edge of breaking down.

“Do you want to tell me something, Miss Jones?” the sister continued

The patient shook her head – no.

“Cat got your tongue?”

The girl didn’t answer once again and it was enough to punish her – obviously. Sister Janet slapped her in face with such a force that her haggard body stumbled.

“When I ask I expect an answer! Understood?”

The poor girl was, both, shocked and scared, which simply made her unable to speak. Sister was ready to hit her again and Martin – as a sensitive person turned back wanting to hide his face in my shoulder. I didn’t really know why, but I felt a weird need to do something – to help the girl somehow. And so, when Janet was about slapping her again I spoke up

“For fuck’s sake she didn’t so anything!”

At that everyone’s attention was on me.

“Do you have anything to say?” she turned to face me

Martin’s hold tightened as she addressed me. I squeezed his hand reassuringly, before answering the nurse’s question.

“I do” I said courageously

“I’m listening then”

“You scared her and then expect to answer you right back. What you’re doing is ridiculous. That’s not how the medical staff is supposed to work. It’s against the rules!”

“I am the one who makes the rules here. And nobody is going to call them into question! Definitely not an insane, scared, pathetic little girl!” her voice was full of venom

“I’m not insane!”

“You are not? What are you doing here, then?”

“I… I just…”

“Have issues?”

I didn’t answer. Well, I didn’t even know what to say.

“Oh, darling that’s typical of people in psychiatric hospitals” she laughed

Martin pulled me closer, probably thinking that if he would let me go I may get into fight with her.

“I’ll make myself clear. I’m going to punish the one who had broken the rules and if you don’t want to be punished as well you’d better shut your mouth”

“I’m not afraid of you. And at this point I don’t care”

“You’re not afraid? Well, let’s see then”

“See what?”

“Oh, you claim you’re not afraid, so I bet you won’t mind if I search your things”

“I-”

“Do you have anything to hide?”

“N-no…”

“Even that notebook? What is it? A diary? A sketchbook?”

I was standing there dumbfounded – cursing myself for letting my emotions carry me away.

“I’ve been watching you. I know you’re going with that notebook everywhere” she stated entering the room “So, where did you hide it?” she began searching my things

I was just standing there. Standing and praying for her not to find the notebook, that was hidden in my pillowcase. But well, she did.

“Let’s see what we’ve got here” she said flicking through the pages

She continued until she found something that drew her attention. She looked at me

"You won't dare" I wanted to approach her, but one of the male nurses caught me, before I managed to do it

"Oh, you're really naive thinking that I won't" she laughed

"You bitch!"

At that she came closer and slapped me. That hurt, but I couldn’t give her the satisfaction, so I remained silent. Martin though let out a weird noise – resembling a cry, that he muffled with his hand.

"I’m okay" I whispered to him, seeing his worried look

I was everything, but okay. The perspective of her invading my privacy – reading my thoughts and feelings out – and the possibility of my most precious secret being revealed made me more terrified that I could remember being.

As I saw her malicious smile, I already knew there was no use asking or begging. Neither she nor Doctor Schulz know what mercy was.

Helplessness. Shame. Humiliation. It all hit me at once – as it did only once before. Never did I expect that it could come back to me, so suddenly and unexpectedly. But there I was. Held by a strange man – almost like then – powerless and browbeaten to something I didn’t want. It wasn’t the same situation. It wasn’t a rape – at least not physically – but mentally it felt the same.

I felt naked and vulnerable as she was reading out:

___________________________

“I was sure my world has already ended. That I was already dead. It felt as if my soul was on fire. But then she appeared. And just then I knew that no one could save me, but her.

There was no place for feelings – yet being around her I feel. Feel everything more & deeper than I have ever done before.

I've never dreamed that I'd meet someone like her. I didn't want it.

I didn't want to fall in love. It wasn't the right thing to do and yet it felt so good.

In my whole life I had never known what I wanted. Until she came and saved me from my own demons. She found the light that I couldn't find in me on my own. And when she kissed me... Since then the only thing I wanted was to be next to her. Cause it just feels so right.

And now I can only hope that she could still be with me, when I'm not quite myself.

I know that when we're together nothing can stop us. And we will both find a way to make a pure love work in a dirty way.

I just hope it's alright if in our safe place I'll tell you that I'm going to love you forever, El...”

___________________________

Sister Janet didn’t finish the sentence. It seemed that for some reason she couldn’t say that name out loud.

She looked at me – her face was unreadable, but those eyes. They were so cold, that when she was looking at you – you beginning to wonder if she still had a soul.

The thought of her soul comes automatically. She’s a great believer, a Christian – who considered herself as a God’s envoy whose mission was delivering the world from a sin. She was more like a holy fool for whom everyone was sinners, but her.

It was pretty clear she was heartless, but what came out of her mouth was unexpected and I already knew it was a promise of something bad.

“You think you can be loved? That someone will care about you? I’ll tell you a secret dear child” she came dangerously close “You are mistaken. It’s pathetic. And you’re sick. Only a God could love you, but for such a sinner like you nobody would have a mercy… even the God” she paused

“Luckily for you I’m ready to help you”

“H-help me?”

“Yes. I know exactly what you need”

I looked at her confused. I already knew it wasn’t a promise of anything good.

“You need some alone time, so that you can think about it. A seclusion room seems to be the best idea”

“W-what? No no no! Sister Janet, please, no. I…”

“Don’t worry, child. We will help you. We will cure you”

I shook my head frantically, but before I managed to form any coherent sentence he appeared.

“What’s going on in here?” Doctor Schulz asked looking at the gathering

“We’ve just searched the rooms and found some pills. Also it turned out that our new patient has a lot to think over” she handed him the notebook

The man took it and read the part that she showed him. Nobody dared to look at him except for me and it was a mistake.

He was a creepy man in general, but his hands were the worst. They were so big that if he would want to he could choke you using only one of them. And when he was rubbing his chin you already knew that something terrible was about to happen.

“What are you gonna do now, Sister?” he asked smirking

“I decided that seclusion room is the best idea”

“I agree”

“Sister Janet… I didn’t do anything bad. Please, don’t…”

“We are doing it for your own good” she said “Everyone go back to your rooms” she ordered

The patients, except for Martin, moved almost immediately. He looked at me. He was even more scared than I was. It was heartbreaking to see him with tears in his eyes. He was the only person, except for Ellie, who somehow made me feel safe in that awful place. I didn’t want him to go, though he had to disappear. That devilish woman could hurt and I couldn’t let it happen.

“Didn’t I make myself clear?” Janet addressed him “Do you want to be punished as well?”

“Go” I whispered knowing that she’s capable of truly everything

Martin looked at me for the last time and disappeared.

“Dear child, you’re lost. You need to realise that you will never be enough for anyone to love you…”

And it felt as if my mind broke. All the things she said were continuously running through my head.

I wasn’t enough… I will never be the thought was slowly overwhelming my mind making my body limp.

It got even worse. I felt dizzy when the doctor came closer and smiled. It wasn’t a normal smile. It was rather the one of those horrible and terrifying. He was so close. Too close…

“Don’t worry, we will take care of you”

He wanted to touch my cheek, but I began to struggle with the nurse that was still holding me.

It’s hard to understand, but sometimes people are just like that. They hate you for some unknown reasons. And that is how it was with Doctor Schulz. He hated Ellie, even though she did nothing to him. He simply couldn’t get over the fact that she’s better than him and was a new boss. So, when he found out about us and had the opportunity to take revenge he couldn’t miss it, could he?

“Stop fighting!” Sister yelled

But I didn’t listen.

“Put her in a straitjacket” Doctor ordered calmly, but sternly

It was impossible to ignore that tone. Who could ever dare to do it?

Before I knew two more nurses came and not only straitjacketed me, but also gave me an injection with tranquilliser. It must have been quite a huge dose, cause it worked really fast and soon I was too weak to move.

And then there was only a darkness, which made everything blank out…

_______________________________

Ellie couldn’t stop the tears that were escaping her eyes. She had never been that sensitive, though reading about Ronnie being so helpless and scared broke her heart again.

She could remember how it was when she came back to the hospital then as if it had happened the previous day.

She had been cooperating with the organization for quite some time, but at that time she spread her wings for real. They did notice a great potential in her and valued her knowledge and work. She became such an important person and the main doctor working for them that at some point she got her personal bodyguards. She didn’t really like it, claiming that was unnecessary, as noting bad could happen. Though when she finally arrived at the clinic, after her business trip, those men turned out to be pretty useful.

As Ellie entered the building she could already feel that something was wrong. The receptionist and guards greeted her as politely and respectfully as usually, but they were looking at her a bit different.

It’s because of those big guys or the fact that I’m a new boss – she thought to herself. But she didn’t care about it. The only thing she cared about was to see Ronnie. She had been absent only for a few days, but it felt like eternity. Each hour without the girl was dragging mercilessly for the woman and as she finally arrived at the clinic the only thing she wanted was to go to her office and start the session with her favourite patient and the only person that mattered for her.

But as she got to the second floor she saw Martin, instead of Ronnie, waiting for her – nervously wandering around the corridor – she already knew it wasn’t about her bodyguards or her being in charge.

“Doctor Staple!” he moved towards her so rapidly that her gorillas were ready to down him, so as to protect Ellie

Martin stopped as the guards moved forward. He looked at Staple confused as she shook her head.

“It’s okay guys. He’s only a patient. He’s harmless”

The men looked at the psychiatrist, then exchanged knowing looks and let Martin come closer.

“What is it?” Staple asked

“T-t-t-they t-t-took her” he stuttered

It was obvious for Ellie that something really bad had happened, as Martin wouldn’t began to stutter again with no reason.

“Easy. Calm down and tell me who and where?” she asked calmly

Martin shook his head. He took a deep breath and tried to speak again

“S-siter J-J...”

“Sister Janet. Okay”

“A-a-and D-Doctor S-Schu-u...”

“Doctor Schulz. Who did they take?”

“R-Ronnie”

At the name Ellie’s eyes widened.

“Where?!” she wasn’t calm any more

Martin tried to calm down, so that he could be able to explain everything to the psychiatrist.

“Martin! Where did she take her?!”

“I-I...”

“It’s okay. I’ll take care of it” it sounded more as if she was trying to calm down herself rather than Martin

The patient was about to say something, but Ellie didn’t let him

“Doesn’t matter. You’ll explain it later” she said heading in the direction of the other doctor’s office

Staple’s mind was speeding. All possible scenarios were multiplying with every minute.

She was furious. They had no right to take her patient, her little and defenceless Ronnie.

Ellie, followed by her bodyguards, got to the ward and seeing her being so angry even the guards there didn’t dare to stop her. The psychiatrist entered the other Doctor’s office without knocking

“Where is she?!”

Schulz looked at her.

“Good morning Doctor” he said nonchalantly “I’m afraid I don’t know what are you talking about” he answered smiling innocently

“I’ll make myself clear. I do not like to repeat myself. So, I’ll ask once again and you’d better think about your answer” Ellie said perfectly mimicking the man’s smile “Where is Ronnie? And who gave you the right to even talk to her? She’s my patient and that was beyond your eligibility”

“Doctor Staple I graduated the same studies as you did…”

“It’s a shame then that you’re not able to make use of it”

“As I’m older and have more experience than you, you owe me some respect” he stood up visibly resentful of Ellie’s words

“Your age or experience means nothing. To be respected you need to earn it. And let me tell you that nothing you do deserves even a drop of respect. You’re not allowed to treat people – whether they’re patients or not – the way you do. I’ll never regard you and what you did only proves that you weren’t meant to be a doctor”

Schulz seemed as if he wanted to say something, though Staple cut him off before he managed to speak up.

“At this point I believe the only thing left for me to say is for you to bring me all your patients’ files then take your staff and get out of my face” she said sternly

The man looked at her surprised.

“You cannot fire me!”

The woman’s lips curved into a fake smile

“I’m the boss now, so I do believe I can” she moved to leave the room, but stopped “Oh, and if you won’t leave on your own the security will surely help you”

With that Staple left the office and not losing any more time headed to the nurses station.

“Wait here” she told the men before entering

There were a few nurses, except for Sister Janet, in the room. They all stopped their talk, as soon as their boss appeared.

“Leave us!” Staple ordered looking directly at Sister Janet

The women stood up and left immediately. They all could feel the anger radiating from the psychiatrist, so they didn’t dare to say a word. As they left the room filled with fraught atmosphere.

“Good morning” Sister Janet tried to sound confident, but failed feeling Ellie’s intense and full of rage gaze

“I wouldn’t call it “good” especially in your situation”

“What do you mean Doctor?”

“I mean that you’re overconfident of yourself and your position here. I blinked at you and your exceeding your powers. And it was a huge mistake. Let me tell you something. You’re not the one in charge here. Neither are you allowed to make your own rules. You’re supposed to help the patients, look after them not threaten them!”

“Ohh, so this is about that abomination of yours”

“I beg you pardon”

“That disgusting slut of yours. I know about you two. And I did what I had to do. You as a Doctor should know that it’s an illness, but I understand that she vamped you? Whatever she did, that isolation is for the good of your both. And you dear Doctor should understand that this and pray is the only way to save yourself”

Ellie looked at the other woman. She couldn’t believe what she had heard.

“Unbelievable. It’s simply unbelievable. You think you’re a saint while in fact you’re a horrible person. You and your medieval methods are sick. When will you finally realise that we’re not living in the Middle Ages any more? And when it comes to pray… You are the one who should pray for me not to fire you, as your demeanour is a ground for me doing it!”

“You may think I’m a horrible person, but she did deserve it. And what you are doing… all of it… it’s wrong”

“I can’t remember asking about your opinion. It’s none of your business what and with who I am doing. So, you’d better shut up if you still want to work here!”

“Are you threatening me?”

“I…” she was about answering, but stopped “I’ll deal with you later”

Staple left the nurses station and almost immediately bumped into Martin, who was again nervously wandering around the corridor waiting for her.

“Martin!” she addressed him louder than necessary

The man stopped and turned to look at her

“Where is she?” she asked in a bit calmer way

“I-I can take you Doctor”

“Yes, please” she took a deep breath “And you” she turned and pointed at one of the bodyguards “Stay here and make sure she won’t go anywhere”

The man only nodded

“You” she addressed the other one “Come with us”

Martin leaded them back to the isolated block.

“Doctor…” he started hesitantly

“Yes?”

“She is… Her condition is really bad”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t really know what happened, but Doctor Schulz did something to her. When I came to her for the first time she was still fine. Scared, but fine, but then… He applied some of his therapies on her and she… broke? I’m not a doctor like you, but I just know it. She was crying and calling your name at night. That was scary…” he paused as they got to their destination

“I don’t know how the hell you managed to get here on your own, but I don’t care. Thank you. Thank you for taking care of my girl” she tried to smile, but in that moment it was impossible

Staple was too angry and worried

“Doctor Staple just promise me one thing”

“Yes?”

“Promise you won’t leave her. That you won’t get scared, because behind this door… it’s not the Ronnie that you used to know”

“Martin, I’ll never… I wouldn’t be able to leave her”

The patient nodded and moved so that the psychiatrist could approach the door

As one of the guards opened the door the psychiatrist froze. Ellie was sure her heart stopped for a few seconds. Her eyes widened with terror at the sight of Ronnie – curled up on a small bed.

The girl was in the straitjacket, which unable her from moving too much. She was almost as white as the walls in that room and even more skinny than before. She was looking at a wall with demented eyes. It seemed as if there was something completely occupying the girl’s attention, but unnoticeable for the psychiatrist.

“Ronnie?” Ellie quickly moved towards her and kneeled next to the bed

Staple was more than terrified, as her patient didn’t respond. She didn’t even notice Ellie being there.

“What has he done to you?” she asked and wanted to caress the girl’s cheek

Though as soon as her hand made a contact with Ronnie’s skin the girl flinched. She turned and Staple could finally see her big, red and puffy from crying eyes.

“E-Ellie?” she stuttered

“Yes. Yes, it’s me. I’m back Ronney. I’m back. I won’t leave you again. I’m so sorry” she wanted to cup her face, but the girl moved back rapidly

“No, no, no!” she shook her head frantically “You cannot. It’s bad. We’re bad. This is wrong!”

“No. It’s okay. Ronnie, please, look at me. It’s alright. You’re good. We’re good”

“Noo. I’m bad. I’m a freak…”

“You are not”

“I-I am. I’m a misfit”

“You are everything, but a misfit” Staple reached for her again “Come on. Let me take that thing off of you” she said pointing at the straitjacket

Ronnie sat still as the psychiatrist unhooked the white clothing. Ellie slowly and carefully slipped it down the girl’s shoulders revealing her skinny body. She inconspicuously checked if the girl wasn’t injured. Though the only noticeable and worrying thing was her being thinner than before.

Ellie, however, already knew it was only an outer layer. A shell that was slowly being destroyed from inside, because of what people had been doing to the girl. The external wounds weren’t as serious as those internal, which healing process was going to take far more time than Ellie had supposed.

Seeing Ronnie in such a state was the last straw. Staple was ready to destroy whoever had anything to do with the girl’s state. She wasn’t going to shy away from doing anything what would be needed to keep the girl safe. Despite all thoughts and questions that were clouding in Ellie’s head, she managed to compose herself enough to carefully pull Ronnie’s weak and trembling body to herself. She wiped the tears from the girl’s gaunt face with such a gentleness that Ronnie gave into her touch and let the woman hold her.

“Hush, little girl” Staple hugged her

“I-I’m s-sorry” she sobbed

“No no no. It’s okay. You have nothing to be sorry for” she kissed her forehead

“It’s m-my fault… Because I-I am weak” she whispered

“No. You are not. You’re the strongest person I’ve ever known. You are not weak. Scared? Maybe, but it’s okay to be scared sometimes. And you have the very right to be scared. Though nothing of this is your fault. It’s on them and they’re going to suffer the consequences of their incompetence. I’ll see to it. But look, you’re safe now. They won’t hurt you again. I won’t let them. I won’t let anybody”

@crazycatladycaceta

#dr ellie staple #dr ellie staple x patient #sarah paulson imagine #my own character #asylum #part2/?#glass #glass movie #sorry if this is shit #hope you like it

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