#experimental fraud

[prokopetz]

The Victor Ninov situation is one of my favourite cases of scientific fraud because it's rare to see so straightforward an example of someone being brought low by their own hubris.

Like, okay, faking the synthesis of a previously unobserved element: it's one of the few varieties of scientific fraud that actually has a clear gameplan for getting away with it. The physical properties of unobserved elements are, in principle, predictable, and there are only so many ways to go about synthesising them. If you do your homework, it's not outside the realm of possibility that your claimed results will end up being at least mostly consistent with the results of subsequent legitimate efforts to synthesise that element, and any minor discrepancies will end up being dismissed as statistical anomalies and/or the product of sloppy experimental design. It's by no means an easy game to play, but it's a game you can conceivably win.

And Victor Ninov did it. He rolled the dice and he won – twice. His fabricated results for elements 110 and 112 were corroborated by later work, and nobody noticed that his actual data was a crock of shit. He got away with it as cleanly as he could have hoped. It was only the third time he tried it, with element 118, that he biffed it and claimed results which nobody could replicate, and this is the only reason his earlier frauds were discovered. If he'd quit while he was ahead, it's likely the first two incidents never would have come to light.

Like, they say the third time's the charm, and buddy here learned the hard way that sometimes, the opposite also holds true.

[m0rbs]

Trials and tribble-ations deleted scene

[allmightyscroll-swag]

Oop, I realized I never actually posted about this, but!

Anyone remember my separated Donnie au? Code name: Violet skies? Well I'm remaking it! Rewriting it, even !!

Here's Foot Recruit/aka Donnie!

Draxum, quite begrudgingly, ends up raising the four turtles with Splinter: whom saved him when a part of the lab's roof collapsed, while he was holding onto two of the turtles. Splinter brought the both of them to the sewers, and it all happened from there.

The turtles grew up not too different, safe for extra actual training and knowledge of both the hidden city and things mystic; until Leo and Donnie turned 14. Donnie went out one day with Raph, and didn't come back.

Two years after his disappearance, when the series events begin, they find him in the Foot Clan. Now called just Foot Recruit, with no memory of them — and a good 6 years worth of memories of living with the foot clan.

[bubster3020]

ALBUM REVIEW #3 - Amazing Investment Opportunity - Fraud Couture

I'd like to start this review by mentioning that I was lucky enough to receive this album before its official release (Thank you Jay!!!). With that in mind, I still went into the project objectively as possible. As someone who's experience with noisy, experimental music is limited to openers for local punk bands, I was pleasantly surprised with Amazing Invest Opportunity. For the most part, I think Fraud Couture, a side project of Crywank's Jay and Dan, delivers a really awesome and sonically engaging record that balances harsh and discordant horns and sound effects with its more conventional instrumental elements.

The album comes out swinging with "Year of Dog Food," arguably one of the most avant-garde songs it has to offer. At first, the squeaking cacophony of the saxophone sounds a bit off-putting, but it quickly grows on you, keeping you on your toes the entire way through. Quickly, the squeaking noise further finds its place as the exciting drums build up throughout. By the end, any preconceived notion about the album's enjoyability has faded away and you're treated to an absolute banger of a song. After the exciting opening track, you're treated to "holding_hands_at_the_duck_pond.swf," a surprisingly comfortable song, despite it being littered with all sorts of digital noise. Behind all the loud computing, there's a relaxed, fun vibe that feels like you're walking in the park of a video game, wandering with no objective. Converse to it's oddly calming predecessor, "AI HATE SPEECH MACHINE" is a wonderfully unnerving experience. The first thing you hear is antiquated synthetic voice, similar to one you'd find in a cheap 90's edutainment computer game, getting an answer to an unknown question correct. I've always found those types of voices very uncanny, so I was on edge from the beginning of the track. The rest of the song stays very understated, the only compliment to the robotic voice being some entrancing horns and some very deep drums. It feels like you're listening to an AI learn to hate, and exemplifies the album's ability to put you in a certain mood very well. Unfortunately, there is a bit of a lull before it puts you in a such a place again.

While "17.9% Apr" continues with the usage of unsettling, robotic voices and keeps the energy of the previous song, it ends too quickly. Originally, I thought it to be a neat little bridge between the song before and after it, but that is not the case. The next run of songs all clock in at under one minute in length, which sucks because they all bring interesting ideas to the table. Even though I thought the opening cry of "4chan Wedding" was extraordinarily out of place, even for how eclectic the rest of the project is, it has an amazing jazz section that is extremely danceable and potentially one of my favourite bits of playing on the record; alas, it just ends somewhat abruptly. There are quite a few songs that I found myself bobbing my head to that would end right when you become invested. Some songs, such as "Dangerous Playground" feel unfinished, and if it lasted a minute longer, would be absolutely be a phenomenal song. Because of their short length, these songs begin to feel like filler, and filler is especially unfortunate here as the record is only 23 minutes. Luckily, it gets back into its groove pretty quickly.

After the lull, it picks back up right where it left off, "Cleaning On Speed" is such an energetic song that brings back the rest of the album's pace. It's a melting pot of the highest strings a piano can muster, a very rich (yet still squeaky) saxophone, and very fast rhythmic clapping that I definitely could not keep up with at a concert. Like the rest of the more jazz focused songs, it's a very dense soundscape, always providing something new to find upon relisten without ever being completely overwhelming. As previously stated, one of the project's greatest strengths is its ability to engage the listener and bring them into a specific place. Each song has a theme, and it gets nailed pretty consistently. "True Love Can Only Happen Once In A Thousand Years" demonstrates this pretty well, being a more melancholic, laidback tune. It uses an extremely slow tempo to put your mind at ease, and almost feels like you're at a jazz lounge, just listening to the performance quietly at the back of the bar. The record finds itself a balance of high energy parties and calming respite, each setting making the other feel more enjoyable when switching between the two.

As boisterous as it can be, Amazing Investment Opportunity does well not to overload itself too much, giving the listener time to process what's happening while mostly keeping fresh. It's chock full of interesting artistic decisions and really good instrumentals that make sure it's never too inaccessible. I particularly enjoyed the synergy between the drums and the saxophone, and the rare points of electric guitar were always a highlight as well. Though some bewildering and off-putting cries and screams can be heard throughout, I think it's in the nature of experimental noise music to not always be super congruent in every song. The thematic mixture of retro technology and horn-driven jazz give an extremely unique and oddly classy touch to the record that simply makes you feel good when listening. Overall, I absolutely enjoyed most of my time listening to it, though often I was left wanting just a little bit more. I highly suggest you check it out if you're looking for something you can just vibe to, as you'll find that for the most part, it's an amazing time investment opportunity.

Favourite song: AI HATE SPEECH MACHINE

Least favourite: Stuart Little Big Dick

Score: 7/10

[chambersevidence]

Idiot devices spasming and reacting without reasonable analysis should not be trusted, should not be emulated, and should not be followed after in actions.

Cascade effects related to chains of devices spasming and reacting to the tiniest frown or negative perception relate to criminal strategies and effects these times.

Do not reduce appropriate analysis time, effort, expenditures or resources. And do not act if more analysis is needed.

I have been protected, like this whole globe, since birth, by transporter inhibitors, as well as temporal change inhibitors erected by my robots who resurrected me after having been killed in the womb and having been dead for 250000 years. There is no more criminal time travel (time travel the duplicates living or dead beings) possible, and there never will be.

[maxellminidisc]

Wait WAIT why wasnt Bree Runway on the pop girl showdown polls? Theres girls in that poll that don't even do pop music (who I love very much) but I just realized Bree wasnt on there and she absolutely deserved to be!

[tyxaar]

A compiled list of various severe crimes committed by one Mr Scar of the Good Times, exact counts pending. Cannibalism (Multiple counts) War profiteering Trading of Souls Grave robbing Fraud of multiple varieties Racketeering Arson (Like a lot of it) Unethical experimentation Acts of Terror Spiritual possession Contract killing Sale of human remains Ritual sacrifice Perpetuating Police Brutality Domestic Terrorism Oathbreaking Violation of the real life Geneva Convention Deceptive marketing Kidnapping Desecration of a sacred place Whatever tf Area 77 had going on Insider trading Extortion Patricide Matricide Unsafe building practices Holy war Desecration of corpses Market manipulation Treason Tax evasion Murder (Lots and lots) Large-scale extreme vandalism Mass enviromental destruction Political corruption Identity fraud

[gothhabiba]

I saw this whole long thread of people hand-wringing about "anti-intellectuals" on tiktok and how scary it is that they're believing sourceless claims other people on tiktok tell them, because they claim they have the same chance of being correct as anything that "science says."

and said hand-wringers were waxing poetic about the scientific method and replicability and how everything that's published in an academic journal is guaranteed to be true and correct because of a little thing called peer review whereby scientists (naturally a petty and pedantic people) are encouraged to tear each other's conclusions apart.

and I just have to say. if you believe (in the midst of a major replicability crisis amongst scientific journals, no less) that everything published in a scientific journal is de facto factual or trustworthy, and if you believe that peer review of all things is a process that is guaranteed to prevent papers with anything from flaws in experimental design to full-blown fraud from going to print (as if publishers don't have a literal profit motive to publish studies that yield novel, startling conclusions),

then you are 100% as "anti-intellectual," foolish, & averse to thinking for yourself as the tiktokers you're making fun of. actually I think I like you less. at least their ideas might be bizarre enough to be interesting

[ellecdc]

Hiya ^^

I'm kinda new here, but I really love your writing as was wondering whether you could do a wolfstar x male reader os for me?

I'm thinking that Sirius and reader are in a relatively open relationship and remus is kinda panicking, bc he's having a major sexuality crisis and then one of them notices and invites him to join them to get some experience and figure himself out and they kinda tease him for not figuring out that he's gay sooner, but it's all in good fun and love.

Thank you you much, I'd be really happy if you could do that (no worries if you don't want to though.)

hahaha this was such a cute concept, I had fun daydreaming about it! I've only written I think for one male!reader before so I hope I did it justice!

poly!wolfstar x male!reader or..... I suppose poly!sirius+male!reader x Remus? idk, you decide

CW: gay awakenings, bi-panic, not internalized homophobia BUT Remus doesn't really realize he's allowed to like both girls + boys, coming out/experimentation, suggestive content but nothing is described or explicit

Remus was beginning to think he’s made a terrible, terrible mistake.

Two mistakes, perhaps.

The first one, admittedly, was getting caught.

…

Sirius came bustling into the dorm room with you following closely behind, both damp from Sirius’ post-practice shower that you had clearly been invited to. 

“Gods, that was nice.” Sirius sighed as he fell back, spreadeagle on his bed.

You snorted as you ran a towel through your hair before tossing it at Sirius. “Would have been even better had you and James stopped snickering to one another through the bathroom door.”

Remus let out a snicker at that, earning him a knowing smile from you and a salacious smirk from Sirius.

“Hiya, Moons.” 

“Good practice?” Remus asked awkwardly as he repositioned himself in his chair.

Sirius hummed in acknowledgement as he watched you change into a pair of comfies with a hungry expression. “Just sore now, but this one’s offered to help me on that end.”

You snorted at him again but Remus noticed a slight hint of bashfulness as you pulled a shirt over your head. “You’re such a flirt.”

Sirius made a low sound in the back of his throat as he positioned himself on his elbows; eyes still glued to your form. “Can you blame me? You look good enough to eat.”

And fuck did Remus know it. He watched as the last sliver of skin disappeared as the bottom of your shirt met the top of your joggers, which Remus mourned the loss of. He found he wanted nothing more than to run his fingers through your wet hair and see if he couldn’t convince you to take that shirt back off.

What was wrong with him?

Not only had Remus never even been with a guy, but he was also fantasising about his best friend's boyfriend? He felt like a fraud and just downright despicable. 

Remus had a rather sheltered upbringing; living in the rural coast of Wales whilst being unable to attend school with the village kids meant a lack of exposure to, what his mother would call, less traditional lifestyles. 

Remus enjoyed girls, he knew that because he’d experienced girls. Sirius enjoyed boys, Sirius knew that because, well, he’d experienced boys. And that drove Remus barmy. 

Because you either liked girls, or you liked boys, right? 

So how come he felt as though he’d be equally happy should you or Sirius fall into his bed as he would with the likes of Emmeline Vance? 

“Don’t you agree, Moony?” Sirius asked, startling Remus from his gay panic musings only for him to find the two of you staring at him.

“Sorry?” Remus choked out, causing Sirius’ smirk to grow both wider yet somehow softer.

“Doesn’t he look good enough to eat?” He asked again, using his head to gesture towards you where you seemed to grow somewhat shy.

“Siri…”

“I’ve seen you lookin’, Moons.” Sirius continued regardless of your warning. “First it was just me and I couldn’t really blame you, but now I’m starting to see a trend.”

Remus felt nauseous; Sirius would hate him, surely? Ogling him and his boyfriend like some pervert. 

“M’sorry, Pads.” Remus whispered hastily as he closed his book and made to stand. 

“Whoa, whoa, hang on.” Sirius stopped, standing from his bed to stand in front of Remus with his hands up in surrender; his towel falling sinfully lower on his hips. “I only asked in case you wanted to…you know, join?”

“Join?” Remus parrotted, looking between you and Sirius only to find your eyes glued to the side of Sirius’ face. 

“Well aren’t you curious at all? Isn’t that what all the staring is about?” Sirius continued, his hands falling more relaxed now as he opted to lean against one end of his four-poster bed. 

“Have you ever been with a guy, Remus?” You asked softly then.

“Uh, well, no.” Remus responded horribly awkwardly. 

“Do you want to try?” You continued, smiling at him with nothing but kindness.

And Remus tried.

He tried to search your face for any signs of malcontent, taunting, mischief, or jealousy. But all he found was understanding. 

“Do you want one of us to leave? Do you want to watch? Do you-”

“Watch.” Remus blurted quickly, cutting Sirius off mid-sentence. 

And if getting caught had been his first mistake, that had been his second - agreeing.

Because what had started as Remus watching quickly turned into you offering to do the same for him, which quickly turned into Remus offering the same in return, which then officially found Remus naked, panting, and satiated on his back in Sirius’ bed. 

“You alright, Moons?” Sirius asked half-teasingly, half-earnestly as he rose from his bed to look down at Remus who was still holding onto you for dear life. 

He suddenly felt like he was intruding, which was hilarious considering what the three of you had just done, and Remus tried to ignore the slightly hurt expression that crossed your face when Remus ripped his hands away from you as if they burned.

“Erm, yeah, yeah! No, I’m uh…I’m fine, good.” 

“Do you have any questions?” Sirius continued, one of his perfectly groomed eyebrows arched in scepticism. 

Remus groaned and covered his face with his hands. “None that you can answer, I don’t think.” 

“Why don’t you try us?” You offered then, standing from the bed and retrieving your clothes and tossing Remus’ at him as well. 

“Does this mean that I’m gay?” Remus all but whispered, though Sirius’ surprised bark of laughter let him know that the two of you did, in fact, hear it. 

“This doesn’t have to mean you’re anything, Remus.” You chuckled as you elbowed your boyfriend chidingly. 

“I’m sorry, I’m not laughing at you.” Sirius apologised as he wiped a tear from under his eye. “This is just so funny because you were my gay awakening.”

Remus felt light headed as he blurted “what!?”, looking to you in horror of what Sirius just admitted only to find you laughing. 

“I had always sort of known that girls didn’t exactly…do it for me, but I remember in fourth year you came back about a foot taller and had an ear piercing and then I knew that boys definitely did do it for me.”

“I guess I have you to thank then, Remus.” You said with a wink, and Remus felt his already furious blush migrate down his torso. 

“But…I still think I like girls, too.” Remus mused aloud.

“You’re allowed to like both, Moons.” Sirius emphasised with a nudge to his shoulder. “Or neither, or everyone or whatever…you also don’t need to figure any of that out right now.”

“But now at least you can know that it’s not just in your head, yeah?” You continued.

“Yeah.” Remus agreed breathlessly. “Yeah, thank you…both.”

Sirius laughed again and looked like he found some renewed energy. “No, thank you; fourth year Sirius would die to know I finally got you in my bed.”

“I’ll certainly be fantasising about that for a while.” You continued with a smirk.

Yes.

Remus made a terrible, terrible mistake.

Two mistakes, perhaps.

Because he was officially, well and truly fucked (read: pretty well officially gone for his best friend and his best friend’s boyfriend).

[no-thanks-im-stuffed]

I have a Gravity Falls Theory I've been meaning to write down for a WHILE so here goes:

Stanford Pines is no genius and I'm gonna pick apart every single one of "Ford's" scientific inventions/accomplishments to prove it.

Grab a beverage, this is gonna be a long one

[Gravity Falls spoilers, a little bit of The Book of Bill]

Contents:

Ford's "Grand Unified Theory of Weirdness"

Codes and Secrets

Inventions

Ford's Tragic Backstory

McGucket

Why Would He Do This??

After Weirdmageddon

TLDR

1. Ford's "Grand Unified Theory of Weirdness"

I can support most of my claims with the help of Journal 3. Unless Ford had actual, scientific research papers, this is the only research we have from him and it's... not scientific in the slightest. Ford treats his "research notes" like a personal diary. I get that they had to design the Journal to be entertaining to kids, but from a scientific lense (which is what he wants to be perceived through), most of Ford's discoveries are very surface level and sometimes (especially later on) border on paranoid conspiracy theorist rambling.

His Grand Unified Theory of Weirdness is the reason he came to Gravity Falls in the first place. His goal is clear:

but, on the very next page, the ramblings start.

It gets worse once he finds the invisible ink.

"The pyramids were built to appease Bill!" sure, buddy.

(And yes, Bill confirms most of these ramblings about his history in The Book of Bill, but a) he too could be lying about this and b) I don't think he had a nice chat with Ford about who he tricked and tormented to build his portal. It wouldn't really fit into the timeline.)

The one bit of "science" I found him doing was his experimentation with the Bottomless Pit. He threw objects in the hole and only saw some stuff coming back while other stuff went missing. Ford hypothesizes it might be a "Möbius Pit" and even spends enough time experimenting on it that he found out "nothing ever seems to get lost on Friday the Thirteenth". Credit where credit is due.

Anyway, he's documenting all kinds of fantastical creatures in the Journal - adding his whimsical commentary and making random assumptions about stuff without any scientific basis. As he admits himself later on, this is getting him nowhere to actually start his Grand Unified Theory of Weirdness, let alone finish it. It's been SIX YEARS.

BUDDY WHAT ARE YOU DOING.

It took a spark of "divine intervention" to even start doing any meaningful research and it was just Bill telling him "hey there's a weirdness dimension btw".

Ford even admits that he didn't come up with it himself. The next pages are the first actually scientific looking ones so far, but more on that in the Inventions section.

He doesn't really advance on his Weirdness Theory for a while (see McGucket chapter for more), but later in the Journal, Ford has a little adventure with Dipper, talking about "The True Theory of Weirdness". He drops a "weird" jelly bean on the floor and watches it roll uphill towards Gravity Falls. He then states that Gravity Falls is a "Weirdness Magnet" and every oddity is eventually drawn to this place. Which is not a theory scientifically speaking, more like an unproven hypothesis. He didn't develop a model to, let's say, predict which oddity will find its way to Gravity Falls next or when it will happen.

"I explained that I felt in my bones that my arrival at this town, and perhaps Dipper's, too, was not an accident. That we were part of some greater fate the town had in store for us." Very scientific.

2. Codes and Secrets

The Journal has several hidden messages from a good handful of characters, some more encoded than others.

We all know about the Map leading to the secrets of Nathaniel Northwest's fraud from the show. Ford found it somewhere in the library.

It just needed to be folded. Layton ass puzzle. A 12 year old figured it out. Ford couldn't do it. Even Mabel is poking fun at him.

Now on to the ciphers.

One of them is a letter from Blendin, encrypted with the Vigenère cipher. To this, Stanford "aced cryptology" Pines says the following:

He was given the key and still couldn't make sense of it. Of course a cool puzzle for people reading the Journal, but not really helping Ford with upholding his image of being an undeniable genius.

Ford himself mainly uses the Atbash and Caesar ciphers, both being a) literally thousands of years old, b) incredibly simple and c) not his own invention.

Bill uses two symbol substition ciphers.

Now I don't know about you, but if a divine being chose me as the genius of the century to inspire me and said being left tiny hidden messages in my diary, I would stop at nothing to try and decipher what they're trying to tell me. For some reason, Ford did not do this. The first message Bill leaves says "I'VE BEEN INSIDE YOUR MIND SIXER, I KNOW YOUR SECRETS". He could have seen all of this coming wayyy earlier (or just had yet another red flag to ignore).

Anyway, I accidentally solved the code before finishing the Journal just to discover that Bill is literally handing him the solution on a silver platter towards the end.

Girl, what do you mean "???" ??

Now, I know Ford at this point is incredibly sleep deprived, paranoid and traumatized. But come on. If I can solve it 6 coffees in while dissociating, our genius can find the solution to Bill's alphabet using the A1Z26 cipher that he put in the journal himself. Plus, as mentioned, he could have deciphered his alphabet way before The Betrayal when his mind was still sound.

So again, not a good look for Ford in the whole genius department.

3. Inventions

Now let's take a look a the inventions which are most commonly associated with Stanford:

The Portal

The Bunker

The Magnet Gun

The Quantum Destabilizer

The Perpetual Motion Machine

The Portal is not one of Ford's inventions, that much is pretty clear. He "comes up with the idea" after Bill told him about some kind of "weirdness dimension".

Now maybe Ford built the portal. Or McGucket built it (which I find more likely due to his tendency to build large scale metal structures) and Ford helped him. We can't really say for sure.

What we CAN say for sure is that McGucket left the day before the big test, which means the portal was basically finished at that point. So if there was still any work left to be done, it would have been minimal and "even Stanley" could figure it out without help, so Ford probably could have, too.

The Bunker. Designed and built by McGucket (and possibly the lumberjacks before zapping them with the Memory Gun), including the death trap of a security system.

Notice the wording. McGucket insisted he could do it on HIS own. But then went out of his way to ask the lumberjacks and not Ford to help excavate the whole thing.

Why? Why not include Ford? Maybe because McGucket could tell Ford was overworked. Maybe because he thought even with Ford's help, they wouldn't have been able to do it in a timely manner and he didn't want to memory zap more people than neccessary, I'm not sure.

Anyway, the Bunker consists of the Bunker itself, a Security Room, an Observation Room and a Storage Room. On top of that, a Temperature Control Apparatus, a Cooling System and a Cryogenic Tube.

Again with the phrasing. "HIS skill for construction". "telephone HE built". "my assistant really topped HIMSELF with the security precautions". "once F starts inventing, HE can't stop".

A man like Ford wouldn't pass up on an opportunity to tell the world about his own accomplishments, yet they are strangely missing in these pages. However, the sketches documenting McGucket's work have become more technical than they've ever been. They even have small annotations that seem as if Ford asked McGucket what he was currently building.

"F has explained" implies McGucket was once again doing this on his own. Why else would he need to explain anything to Ford if they were doing this together? Plus, again, surely Ford would have mentioned something, anything, if he had participated in any way.

The things he DID mention is that he found a mole man skeleton and "Shifty", the shapeshifting creature. And he saved McGucket once Shifty broke out of their cage (Remember this for later, it'll come in handy). And he conducts tests on Shifty (remember this as well).

On to the Magnet Gun.

Again, passive form. If Ford had modified the gun himself, he would have told us. Chances are it was once again McGucket. Or it was just taken from Crash Site Omega as Ford says in the show that he and McGucket came down there often to loot the UFO for tech.

Lastly: The Quantum Destabilizer.

He actually admits he worked on it. However, he spent 30 years between dimensions. In these 30 years he couldn't find anyone (including himself) to get the Destabilizer working. The Other McGucket, however, was able to do it in less than a week.

Ford claims he was missing a suitable power source which The Other McGucket found, but there's no way of knowing if there was more to those "minor adjustments" to Ford's blaster than Ford would like to admit.

The only invention left is the Perpetual Motion Machine which I will save for the "Tragic Backstory" section.

Honorable mentions:

The Hyperdrive needed to power the portal:

"F's mechanical know-how" vs. "my keen intuition." implying Ford merely found the Hyperdrive, but McGucket extracted it safely.

So the Hyperdrive was looted from Crash Site Omega. Plus, McGucket was the one to realize it was even needed in the first place.

While between dimensions, he was given a Dimensional Translator. Also not his own invention.

The metal plate in his head? Not his invention. Not even his idea. The Oracle did that for him.

The Book of Bill has another example that Ford can't invent for shit: He found the blueprint of Abigale Blackwing's Anti-Bill-Suit in the library (once again, not even his own invention) and drafted a more modern blueprint. And either he completely failed to build it or it didn't work because we never hear from it again. Instead, he installs a retina scanner to keep Bill out of the lab. Which he (probably) ALSO didn't build himself.

In summary:

Portal: blueprint by Bill, (probably) built by McGucket.

Bunker: designed and built by McGucket (probably with the help of the lumberjacks).

Magnet Gun: likely looted from Crash Site Omega.

Quantum Destabilizer: a mess before McGucket fixed it overnight

Perpetual Motion Machine: see below.

Dimensional Translator: Not Ford's invention.

Metal Plate: thought of and installed by The Oracle.

Anti-Bill-Suit: invented by Abigale Blackwing.

In fact, he mostly doesn't even say that he did any of this. He openly admits whenever he took something or McGucket built stuff, and barely calls any of the inventions his own. We just assumed that he can (on account of him being a genius), so we assumed he did.

4. Ford's Tragic Backstory

would only make sense if he ACTUALLY couldn't get the Perpetual Motion Machine to work. We already know Ford is an unreliable narrator and I'm probably not the first one to point out that it doesn't make sense that Stan supposedly cost Ford his entire scholarship by breaking his Perpetual Motion Machine (accident or not).

Think about it from a college's point of view: You hear about a young man who apparently built a machine that violates the laws of thermodynamics. You don't just pass up on something like that just because it didn't work the ONE TIME you came to visit. That would be an exceedingly stupid thing to do. I think they would have given him that scholarship if he even got close to achieving such a feat.

Now let's briefly assume Ford IS a genius whose invention got sabotaged. Ford could have easily fixed it and asked for a second appointment with the judges. This did not happen. And even if he didn't get into his dream school, he could have used this perpetual motion machine for the good of humanity. He didn't do that. If the Machine had ever worked, it would have made international news. It didn't. He would have been world famous. He isn't.

What does that tell us?

Does he even have 12 PHDs as he keeps claiming? In what? For what reason? Wouldn't he get a scholarship for his dream school at some point given his seemingly endless potential? It all seems like overcompensation to me. Reminds me of Tommy Tallarico and his ever-increasing number of Guinness World Records.

However, there is a reason Ford is like this. It is connected to his tragic backstory, but I will include this in the final chapter for narrative reasons.

Also note how even in A Better World, he did not go do his dream college. The science center was built around the Shack that he went to later in life:

And even there, he only manages to make a name of himself with McGucket's cooperation. We already established he couldn't build the portal on his own. My guess that McGucket once again did the heavy lifting and didn't mind Ford taking the credit (as you will see in the McGucket chapter).

5. McGucket

At this point we've already gone over how McGucket built (probably) most of the Portal, the Bunker and everything in it, and got the Quantum Stabilizer to work. We also know that in his free time, he loves to tinker. He canonically built a laptop (with extra keys for Fords fingers), a cellphone, the Memory Gun, several killer robots, the Shack-O-Tron and started an entire ass cult along the way.

And that's just what I picked up on from skimming the Journal.

We only see McGucket make stuff on screen. All this time he's welding together contraptions, piloting giant killer robots, having a blast.

We never see Ford tinkering ONCE. Still, he constantly praises McGucket for his "brilliant mind", "mechanical knowledge" and "skill in construction".

I think Ford was McGucket's assistant. He didn't get ANYTHING done before he called McGucket over for help. In the bunker, all he did was find a skeleton and conduct "experiments" on Shifty (by showing them pictures of creatures and documenting what happens). He led McGucket to the UFO crash site, McGucket was the one to actually extract the Hyperdrive. All of the stuff Ford does sounds more like an assistant's job to me.

I'm also pretty sure McGucket knows that Ford isn't the genius he claims to be. Upon seeing Bill's blueprints, he immediately gets suspicious:

Why would he say this to a fellow genius?

And he's the one who recognizes something is wrong with the portal earlier than anyone else.

The day before the test, he meets Ford at the diner to warn him cause he knows something is deeply wrong - and offers him a thesis paper.

Now here is where things get interesting.

Ford gets angry. But instead of saying something like "How dare you insult my scientific integrity / intelligence", he thinks McGucket wants the Grand Unified Theory of Weirdness to himself, which obviously couldn't be further from the truth. But Ford is too insecure about his intelligence and too curious about the portal to care.

This makes me wonder if McGucket had done this before. They went to college together. What if McGucket wrote Ford's final assignment as well? What if he'd seen him have a meltdown over the introduction and whipped up a fantastic final thesis in an afternoon?

We know McGucket cares deeply for Ford, and we can tell his intentions at the diner were sincere. He doesn't really want or need any credit - meanwhile Ford is starved for it. This is probably also why he's fine being "Ford's assistant" even though he's the one putting in most of the work.

6. Why Would He Do This??

Before we talk about Ford's plans after Weirdmageddon, I have to mention that there's a good reason Ford is pretending to be a genius. This is pretty speculative territory, but I think it makes sense given what we know about the Pines family.

When you're a twin, at least in the Stan Bro's case, you're constantly being compared to one another. Once it has been established that Ford is the "smarter" of the two (true or not), their father latches onto that and soon Ford's intelligence becomes his entire identity. I think just like Stan was looked down upon and neglected for being the "stupid" twin, Ford was burdened with expectations for being the "smart" twin. "You're gonna go far, kid. You're gonna make us so much money, you're gonna get us out of this dump." An INSANE thing to burden a child with.

This goes well for a while - Ford gets straight As and is the pride of the family. His ego inflates. But then something strange happens which I'm sure many "gifted kids" can relate to - he hits a wall. At some point he can no longer brute force things with his intelligence and he has trouble keeping up with his family's expectations. His massive ego gets damaged beyond repair.

Soon, he starts questioning everything. "If I'm not the smart guy, who am I? What's left?" He's been living like this his entire life. It's way too late to turn back so he moves forward. And if intelligence can't get him there, at least he can use the smarts he does have to make sure nobody else ever finds out. It's not unlikely for him to develop this attitude and it's the same kind of mindset he brings to taking the Hyperdrive from Crash Site Omega:

In a way, this makes him a con artist like Stanley. Which, after everything that's happened between the two, must feel like such an insult to Ford that he'd rather live in denial than face reality. The reality being that he is about as intelligent as Stanley, too. This doesn't mean that Stan is dumb (he managed to get the portal to work with barely any help, after all) - just that Ford is not as intelligent as he (and everyone else) thought / expected of him. AND that Stanley isn't as dumb as everyone always told him he was.

I think while yes, Stan broke the Machine, Ford couldn't fix it. Or it was never even a Perpetual Motion Machine to begin with. Yes, Ford couldn't go to his "dream college", but was that really his dream? Or his father's? Remember when McGucket offered him the Weirdness Thesis on a silver platter, saying with this he can finally "get his life back", and Ford still refused it? Maybe he didn't want his old life back. Because his old life SUCKED without Stanley in it.

7. After Weirdmageddon

Now that we established what Ford's dad wanted him to be, let's explore what Ford actually likes doing.

Obviously journaling and sketching what he sees, but what else?

Ford loves exploring. He goes on hikes, climbs mountains, visits caves, goes ham on Crash Site Omega. In the Bunker he looks around and discovers a mole man skeleton and Shifty while McGucket did the inventing/building.

He's also great at action hero stuff. He saves McGucket from the Gremloblin, and later from Shifty, he's jumping around the UFO with a magnet gun as if it's the only thing he's ever done, and saving Dipper from the security system, just to name a few.

He even says this in the episode: "I need to train an apprentice to help me fight monsters, solve mysteries, and protect this town." This doesn't really sound like science stuff to me.

So yeah I think Ford lied about being a genius to compensate for his (self perceived) lack of other qualities, he lied about his 12 PHDs, his scientific accomplishments, maybe even some inventions. He sucks at decoding things despite claiming to have "aced cryptology". Instead, he spends most of his time exploring, fighting monsters, stealing shit and getting in all kinds of dangerous situations. Truth is, he is much more similar to Stan than he'd like anyone to find out.

He also doesn't even WANT to do science. He likes the idea of science, like in Sci Fi movies, but not the actual labor that comes with it. Ford has been travelling between dimensions for 30 years. He probably is the only human to ever have done that in his dimension. Surely he spent these 30 years on research? Well...

There's only a single line mentioned in the Journal about doing anything scientific and he didn't even dedicate the entire sentence to it.

He "compared notes with scholars". That's it.

But surely he has so many papers and theories he can finally publish to fulfil his initial goal to "join the ranks of Newton, Tesla, & Einstein in the pantheon of science"?

Nope. He goes treasure hunting with Stanley. Ford seems to have forgotten all about his research. And I think that's not just because he wants to make up for lost time, but also because this is what he truly wanted to do in the first place, before he was forced into the "genius" mold.

To go adventuring, to be creative, to spend time with the family that matters.

8. TLDR

Ford didn't manage to write his Grand Unified Theory of Weirdness.

His Journal is entertaining, but ultimately full of unscientific ramblings.

He didn't build the portal, bunker, magnet gun, quantum destabilizer, or any other invention I could find.

All of his accomplishments can be traced back to either Bill, the town library, or McGucket.

He didn't write his own codes, he couldn't decipher any of the codes or secrets he found, including the ones he was given a solution to.

The Journal makes it look like Ford is McGucket's assistant and not the other way round.

McGucket is amazing and needs to be protected at all costs.

The tragicness of Ford's backstory makes no sense if he actually WAS a genius.

He needed to keep up the genius act because that's what his family expected of him and now he's con-artist level good at it.

He spent 30 years between dimensions committing crimes and preparing for revenge instead of doing science.

he seems to not even LIKE doing science. he prefers exploring, drawing, and getting into dangerous situations.

Once back in his home dimension, instead of doing anything science related, he goes adventuring with his brother.

Disclaimer: I have nothing against Ford, if anything this adds to his character cause I haven't seen anyone even so much as question his status as a genius yet. I just needed to get this out of my system cause this has been brewing in my brain since JULY.

This took me 10 hours to write. Thank you so much for making it this far, this post was brought to you by Autism™

[jacktheeldergod2]

Poll time y'all

As part of a multidimensional alternative rehabilitation program you were randomly selected to be the master of an otherworldly criminal for an unspecified amount of time,your options being:

The eldest vampire of a parallel earth long lost to ruin,a girl from the very first batches of homo sapiens evolution crafted. Speaks only her tribe's language but has a little translator pendant to understand you. Her crimes were described as pestilence spreading for eons. Wants to hunt constantly. Plays single player videogames and exercises. Does little to nothing else. Immune to the sun and holy symbols,claims she was allergic to garlic since garlic was a thing. Wants to sleep hugging someone,the more people the merrier to her

Alecorax the one who knows. a dragon of purple and orange coloration the size of a cruise ship. Knows more than you can comprehend and yields magic so skillfully that he slayed the gods of his realm all by himself in a fight that took 37852 years and 29 days. His crimes are deicide and experimentation on people. The only reason he won't kill you is cause he was allowed to not have to share any of his knowledge horde with you. Will ignore you half the time.

A salamander made of broken obsidian. Consumes all the heat around it slowly but surely. Its crimes are going to the core of multiple planets and over the eons freezing them in a quest to be the last alive in its world. Always complains about how there are more dimensions with more even more planets it has to kill now. Is is constantly snuffing out heat sources.

Irene the daughter of air. A siren that controlled the minds of billions of civilizations with her music and committed the biggest count of tax evasion in the known multiverse. Can stop your anxiety or bring you exquisite sleep with a mere whistle. If you look at her purple scales long enough it may take hours or days for you to snap out of your trance. Will either steal your money or everyone elses,your choice. Refers to Freddie Mercury and robopup as fellow sirens. Can hear your thoughts. Heard that insult you thought of and laughed at you

Though-shall-not-bow-to-evil. An angel that killed an unspecified amount of innocents by accident and thus fell. Has 28 wings and 4 faces,covered in armor that conceals their perfectly smooth,spotless shining form. Deeply regretful and cries rose water almost every time they remember their sin. will do anything you ask even if it kills them. Will follow into the next life if you reincarnate,won't stop following you until you are in a comfortable afterlife

Dilar the dealer. A fey with a bug like form hidden under their suit,hat and stained glass mask. They will kill you if you try to touch their mask or undo their clothes. Their crimes were simply described as fraud. Will try to get you to make deals with them. Proceed with them at your own risk

Cornelius the last court jester of the court of witchcraft. No one knows how this one man who was once a mere eunuch guard that watched over a warlord's harem of slaves became the most trusted man in the court of witchcraft nor how he killed them all. He doesn't have to disclose this information to you. His crimes are mass murder as well as the theft and hiding of all the magic items of the court and its participants. Jokes about everything that is brought to his attention

Slorvenovia the traitorous queen. A giant type of bee or wasp,you can't really tell. As big as the average plane. Ate all of her kind on her world and devoured her own genitals as to never bear spawn again. Claims she did it so she could be the only one as beautiful as her race is. Can turn to a humanoid form,a 2 meters tall woman with blond here and hazel eyes. Will beat the shit out of you if you demand honey from her and will side eye you if you consume any honey

The presence. An incorporeal invisible being with only the ones it desires feeling its presence. Can do any menial task,housework,your job and more,always leaving notes ridiculing the job it did,calling it too easy. Will do tasks you didn't tell it to and mock you for not remembering to tell it to do them. Its crimes are described as sightseeing

The weather beetle. a big humanoid machine made of gold,hunched over and with 8 arms helping it walk in an animalistic manner,fully composed of glass and gold. Many machines detecting,analyzing and controlling the weather lie upon it's back. Jolly and curious. Its crimes are creating weather phenomena that almost killed all the lifeforms on its world in a week. It's confused as it thinks that the weather is something whose damages would always be excused and doesn't understand why it was punished

Spade the knight of every forest. A σπουργίτι(type of small bird) with a needle made out of porcupine quill he uses as a sword. Speaks of his glorious queen often,seems deeply in love with her although he denies it, rambling about how dishonorable it would be to pine over the king's wife. Talks in a deep boastful voice,sings without a semblance of rhythm. Asks to kill specific people,not saying why. Similar murders landed him in this program. Gathers lost coins to buy fig tarts

Sfera the haunted pistol. A demon locked in an old colt revolver. Speaks to you in your head. Weathered with little of her hilt painted white anymore. Starts laughing proudly when her crimes are mentioned,which were described as "crimes of war". Always asks to be repainted and polished,gets all mushy when these requests are fulfilled. Always suggests vile actions and brutal solutions to you. While you own her no bullet will touch you and she'll never run out of lead for you to shoot. Demands to listen to guns and roses,queen and nirvana in the morning,always demands you read old myths to her before bed,often asking for the works of Homer

The godmother. A 9 foot tall ethereal undead with pale skin and pure white glazed over eyes. She's soft spoken but starts yelling at you if you don't follow her wishes. Her crimes were described as child abuse,child endangerment and use of chemical weapons as discipline methods. Tries to lead your behavior in any way she can. Not allowed to hurt you or disobey your wishes at all. This is for your own safety

@1969chevycamaro @whereserpentswalk @everythingismadeofchaos @techiekittie @trashsouppossum @ononpetitecroissant @parsley-and-lesbianism @polkadotsunshine @strange-and-stupid @doyoudreamofwater @dackychansworldofhoshino @dh-ng @decoysender @foxundermoon @frozen-antifreeze @gloriousvermin @kinkshame-puncher-666 @kirkland-brand-witch @leavesswaytoday @bisexual-bat @bellaphomet3 @mmmmmmky @mun-urufu @moonsfavoritedaughter

[bibibbon]

me: they’re my baby girls!!

the ‘baby girls’ list of crimes:

General Crimes

Terrorism, Stalking, Kidnapping, Mass murder, Vandalism, Mutilation, Torture, Unethical experimentation, Jailbreaking, Theft, Propaganda, Arson, Blackmail, Conspiracy, Torture, Psychological abuse, Incrimination, Sabotage, Assault & Battery, Mass destruction, Grave robbing, Enslavement, Impersonation, Abuse of power, Corruption

Member Specific Crimes

Shigaraki: Mass property damage, Terrorism, Assault & Battery, Kidnapping, Torture, Theft, Mutilation, Conspiracy, Vandalism, Sabotage, Familicide, Manslaughter, Animal cruelty, False imprisonment, Psychological abuse

Dabi: Attempted familicide, Torture, Arson, Psychological abuse, Destruction of property, Kidnapping, Terrorism, Vandalism, Incrimination, Public endangerment, Conspiracy, Blackmail, Stalking

Himiko: Serial Murder, Animal cruelty, Kidnapping, Identity theft, Burglary, Stalking, Assault, Mutilation, Fraud, Terrorism, Possibly cannibalism

Mr. Compress: Conspiracy, Kidnapping, Mutilation, Terrorism, Theft, Murder, Stalking, Vandalism, Burglary

Spinner: Kidnapping, Assault, Terrorism

Twice: Terrorism, Murder, Theft, Kidnapping

they were just feeling silly ok it’s no biggie

You know what Iam much more impressed that you managed to list out all of their crimes in general and specifically.

Yikes thats a long list but I do see some of the league members being able to receive a redemption or at least face a better ending than the one canon gave them.

At the end even though they did all of this I still like their characters however I do hate when people don't acknowledge these actions and babyify them only focusing on them as victims and not giving them the complexity they deserve to have.

Now that I think about it Iam quite surprised that twices list of personal crimes is so low. It makes me remember when @doodlegirl1998 was talking about how he is probably the most redeemable one in there and that the story would benefit much more if he and toga narratively switched roles

[witty--fool]

Hey, so y'all want a snippet of some Nick Valentine angst?

"Just what, Nick?" Hancock interrupted, his voice hardening,"You think she deserves less happiness because of what she's been through? Or because of what we are?"

"I never asked for this life, Hancock, Never asked to be turned into this shell of man. This mechanical fraud." Nick finally snapped, and anger boiling inside him. Hancock had chosen the form he now lamented, Nick was forced into existence. He thought about the John McDonough that had run from his problems. The John McDonough that took a experimental radiation drug that disfigured his body into that of a ghoul, the John McDonough that had donned the clothes of some bygone man and named himself John Hancock. And now, John Hancock held the heart of the gal he wanted so desperately. The gal his circuits ached for.

"But neither did she-she didn't ask to be turned into a human popsicle for two-hundred years. Didn't ask for her husband she'd had since 19 and son she was finally able to conceive at 29 to be ripped away from her." a frustration, a frustration about the lack of tears welled up within him. He missed being able to cry, being able to release that pain in such a manner. "We're both living in a world that's moved on without us." He sighed, his voice tinged with a mix of resignation and longing.

If his mechanical body could produce tears, there would be a few rolling down his cheeks, "I can't, can't complicate her life like that. Not when" he choked slightly, "Not with the memories. The flashes of Jenny, the flashes of a Nick Valentine that was loved, truly and deeply loved."

“Shit…” Hancock deflated, realizing the error of his previous words, “Shit Nick, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize.”

“It doesn't matter how I feel.” Nick started up again, “She loves you. She’s the kind of woman that only loves one man at a time–and she loves that man fiercely.” he paused, “and that man is you, Hancock.”

Excerpt from an upcoming chapter of Rain in My Heart

[shady-tavern]

Preview for "For the Living and the Dancing" the September Short Story

(warnings ahead for consensual body modifications as well as implied/mentioned child abuse and self-experimentation, please be sure to take care of yourselves)

*.*.*

Julie had been born to a strict father, who so desperately wished for her to be a genius, that he didn't hesitate to do whatever he considered necessary to present her as one. For as long as she could remember, she was seated at her desk for hours on end, her father looming behind her.

As soon as she was old enough to hold the tools of an enchanter, for that was the bloodline of their family, he taught her how to carve the sigils and runes, the symbols and how to keep her lines perfectly straight, her circles perfectly round.

"A genius is capable of using both hands," her father told her, tying down her dominant hand and putting a pen in the other. "Learn."

"A genius knows how to present themselves," her father said as he taught her how to speak with people, drilling titles and manners into her head and what to wear when meeting people of rank.

"A genius speaks clearly," her father said as he had her read books out loud until she got her lisp under control.

He demanded that she memorize knowledge, that she overtake her peers in class whenever possible. He dedicated every ounce of his free time to her education and once she was old enough to pretend with him, he took her to the academy where he taught.

He seated her in classes and boasted that she understood the material but wasn't ready to join the academy full time yet. She didn't understand the material, but she was a shy child, a quiet child, so people considered her cute and annoying instead of a fraud.

"You must be a genius," her father told her, his hands big and heavy on her shoulders. He never touched her unkindly, but his hands always felt like they were pressing her down into the earth, making her shrink smaller and smaller.

"You must be, because we are enchanters, my dear," he told her with a grimness that she wished she could hide away from. "Mages already look down upon us for being lesser. But if you are more than that, they will praise us at long last."

She didn't fully understand, she thought the mages she had met were quite friendly, but she had noticed her father's coolness towards them. How he was never invited to their parties and meetings, to their special little clubs, despite his skill as an enchanter.

In one of her few cherished memories, her father had gifted her hand-made, enchanted toys. Little birds that flew around her and chirped the most beautiful songs. Fish that swam through the air and shimmered in a multitude of colors.

"So you are less alone," he had said.

But she had been very little then and he had been kinder, softer. He had smiled more back then.

Her mother was a quiet woman as well, but it took Julie a while to understand that she wasn't shy. She was quiet and cowed into silence, resembling more a ghost than a person as she drifted through their home, the servants casting concerned looks at her.

When her mother got pregnant again against all expectations, Julie felt excited for the first time in years. She had been so very alone for so long. Her father only allowed her to play with other gifted children and they were all...awkward. Like Julie. And like Julie, they were all weighed down by expectations.

Sometimes she looked at her little circle of carefully selected friends and thought that they were all trying to be adults without knowing how to be one.

Her mother's pregnancy progressed well and Julie felt ever more hopeful for a sibling. For someone to play with, to talk to. She'd teach her sibling how to walk and talk and she'd make sure to be a kinder teacher than her father.

She hoped her father would leave her sibling be.

It was that thought that made her work harder. She did her best to keep all the attention on her as the date of the birth grew closer, but her father was so very eager for the child, it was difficult to retain his focus.

And then the child was born, a little girl and Julie loved her. She took one glance at the little one, her mother looking more like a ghost than ever, and she wanted to protect her from everything.

The last thing her mother did was name the child Anne. Julie had learned how to cry quietly years ago and as she held her little sister, the midwife having showed her how, she promised in a whisper that her little sister was going to have a better, happier life.

Her father did not shed a tear, though he wore mourning garb for weeks on end. He picked up the lessons with a vengeance and Julie kept her head down. She kept quiet, stayed soft and pliant and agreeable, sneaking away to help the wet-nurse with her little sister whenever she could.

That tiny bubble of joy was soon popped when it became clear that something was up with her little sister. She seemed to be unwell more often than not.

"She's been born with a sickness," the doctor said when he came to thoroughly examine the babe. 

Julie didn't like his tone, she didn't like how her little sister squirmed, her pudgy little face puffing up in upset. She wanted to go and scoop her up, but her father was in the room and she didn't dare do anything that he disapproved of.

She had no idea what the doctor said next, a complicated name that sounded almost too elegant, too sophisticated for what ailed her little sister.

Anne had been born ill, her body would always be weak and would deteriorate the older she got.

"She wont get old," the doctor warned quietly but Julie heard him anyway. "There is medicine to delay the decay, but it won't cure her. If you are diligent, if the girl does exactly as I say, if she doesn't get ill often, she might make it to twenty."

Twenty years. That was...that was so very little time. Julie stared at her little sister, her throat suddenly so tight she couldn't even breathe, her stomach rolling with horror.

She would have to bury her sister before she even fully finished growing.

It took Julie a couple of days to digest those news as much as possible and then she decided that no matter how much or how little time her sister had, she'd make sure it would be the best life possible.

Her father had lost all interest in his new daughter, the grimness of his demeanor deepening further. It was like he was already grieving.

Julie didn't understand, because Anne was right there and she was alive. Not well, perhaps, but she lived. She was a pudgy, often stinky little baby that Julie loved with all her heart.

So she studied harder and when her father dropped her off at the academy, she asked if she was allowed to sit in the medical classes. She had never asked to be put into specific classes before, because they were all hard and she struggled to understand even part of what was going on, despite her father helping her study at home.

Her father brightened a little at that and agreed readily.

Julie understood even less in those classes, but for the first time, she approached the professor afterwards and asked questions.

The woman was surprised at first and the longer they spoke, the more puzzled she seemed, but she answered all questions readily, dumbing things down until Julie finally understood.

She came back again and again, to the point where she secretly scurried out of the other classes to join the medical ones. If she left quickly enough to go meet her father where she was supposed to wait for him, he had no idea and the professors had such full classes no one noticed her slipping away.

Anne grew well despite the odds stacked against her and the day Julie saw her get up on wobbly knees, she was so excited her little sister fell over because she was laughing too much at Julie whooping and clapping her hands.

Anne was the best thing in Julie's life. Perhaps even the only good thing.

Once her little sister was old enough to play with more things than cubes and stuffed animals, Julie made toys. Like her father had once made them for her. 

She made frogs that hopped just slow enough that her sister could catch them. She made a snake to coil around Anne and help her walk up and down the stairs, catching her before she could fall.

She made Anne a small prancing horse that she could ride up and down the hallways since she could rarely go outside and wasn't allowed to ride an actual horse. The little toy horse couldn't go very fast and would not spook or toss her. With her sister properly strapped in, she was safe and she could still have fun.

Her father examined each toy, looking impressed and soon the theoretical lessons were replaced with practical ones more and more.

"You might not be a conventional genius, but perhaps we can make you a prodigy," he mused as he handed her even finer tools and even more material. "Invent something to make me proud."

By now, Julie was old enough to understand what he actually meant: 'Invent something I can brag about'. Her father felt so inferior to mages that it had consumed every part of him, even the parts that had once been loving and kind.

Enchanters had no magic, but they could create magic and in her opinion, that was just as valuable, just as amazing. Sure, mages could enchant too, but their work would always be rougher and rather unwieldy compared to an enchanters.

Enchanters on the other hand could do nothing without tools and materials.

Julie worked hard, she had no idea what exactly inventors were supposed to do, how to make something that her father could impress others with, but once she thought of making things for her sister, to her surprise, she succeeded.

It wasn't anything big, not yet, but the little dog she made at her sister's request was what made her father quite satisfied. The little dog could perform simple commands, it could fetch things both pointed at and named, if the words were spoken clearly and it caught things that fell if it was close enough.

She had to make a second dog for her sister, since her father took the first to the academy and she never saw it again.

But making her little sister happy was worth it. All the hardships were worth it, the ways her fingers ached and she hid scratches and burns under long sleeves and gloves, her sister too little to find it odd.

Her sister was a happy child, for all that she couldn't be like the other kids, and yet, Julie found herself weeping sometimes, thinking of all that her little sister couldn't have.

Of all the years she would never live.

*.*.*

Julie stared down at her experiments, her hands scarred and calloused after years of hard work. Her mind felt empty as she looked at the partially assembled focus for a mage, a commissioned piece of work that had caused her father to puff up like a preening peacock.

The mage in question was a very influential, very rich one. He only ordered from the best of the best and he had wanted her.

Julie was almost done, but she couldn't bring herself to finish her work. Not when Anne was too weak to get up. She had been too weak for a while now and it filled Julie with a terrible fear.

Anne was only ten years old. That was half the time of what the doctor had said she might have if they were careful, if they cared for her. Julie's eyes welled with tears and she got up, for the first time abandoning her work while her father was awake and in the house and she left the cellar that had gotten remodeled for her.

There were shelves upon shelves of materials and books, various sketches and ideas she had written down and shoved wherever possible when she thought they weren't good enough.

Her father was in his study so he didn't notice when she walked up the stairs to the bedroom at the end of the hall and her sister greeted her with a sweet, if tired smile. But the smile trembled around the edges and it made Julie's throat tight.

Anne hadn't really understood her sickness when she had been younger. And while she had been upset then, it had been...easier to deal with. She hadn't been scared then, hadn't known to be sacred.

But she knew so much more now, was so much more aware. Julie had taught her things in the evenings, in the little bit of time she had between finishing her work and before heading to bed. Anne was such a bright child and she had wanted to brighten that glow whenever possible.

Anne knew she was dying and she was so very scared.

Her little sister grabbed her hand the second Julie sat down on the bed beside her. Her sister's smile trembled and then shattered as her eyes filled with tears.

"I don't want to die," Anne said, her voice shaking and the look on her face broke Julie's heart worse than anything else ever had. Even the one time she had gone out with a boy only to find out he only pretended to like her to get a free invention out of her.

Her sister swallowed and in a quiet whisper that sounded so very helpless and scared, she added, "Please don't let me die."

Julie closed her eyes against the sting of tears and leaned forward to press a kiss to her little sister's forehead, hugging her tight when she started to cry. She sat with her sister until she had cried herself to sleep and when she quietly left the room, her father was waiting in the hallway.

His face was stony and that suffocatingly heavy grimness was back in his gaze. "Go back to work," he said quietly. "There is nothing to be done."

Julie bit down on a surge of unexpected rage that surprised her with it's intensity and abruptness. She almost shouted at him that such things had never stopped him from trying to make her more than she was. It had never stopped him from lying and posturing and making everything bigger and grander than it was.

It had never stopped him from pretending.

But she stayed quiet and walked down the stairs until the coolness of the cellar greeted her, along with all it's familiar scents. She sat down and mechanically finished the focus before she stared at her shelves off to the side. 

An entire bookshelf was dedicated to medical texts. She had tried so hard to find ways to help her sister, to make her live longer, but there was indeed no cure. Her body was going to decay until it set her soul free.

It felt like something fell into place in her mind, something terribly blasphemous and illegal. 

The temples had decreed the flesh sacred. It was a gift from their gods and was to remain unchanged, no matter the circumstances. Nothing was ever removed unless it was a matter of life or death.

If someone was born with parts or limbs that didn't work or even without them, it was considered a punishment for bad actions committed in a previous life that someone had to repent for now.

Doctors and mages were therefore ever searching for techniques to heal the body back to its original state, but not even medicine, not even magic, could fix everything.

Anne's body was going to abandon her before long.

Julie would be locked away for life if she what she planned to do was discovered. But if she succeeded...if she could do this, her sister would get to live longer. Far, far longer.

That was worth everything.

*.*.*

The full story will be posted on September on both my patreon and my ko-fi, thank you everyone so much for your support! Everything helps and means the world to me, from reading my stuff to kudos and reblogs and don't worry, I'm reading all the tags!

You guys make it a real joy to write and post things, so I really want to say thank you for that.

For those who'd like to read more of my writing in the meantime, please feel free to check out my masterpost!

[spopsalt]

Ik Rick and BoJack are random but I wanted to add on some well written characters :)

context for the character and list of some of their crimes under the cut!

Catra Applesauce Meow Meow

Definitely my most controversial pick for this list! Catra was an abused child soldier and abused her sister Adora, she was redeemed buttt her arc wasn't really...good. Her crimes: War crimes Abuse of power Corruption Reckless endangerment Psychological abuse Assault Terrorism Attempted regicide Attempted mass murder Attempted world domination Attempted cataclysm Conspiracy Mass destruction Abduction & kidnapping Unlawful imprisonment Brainwashing Theft Torture Treason Usurpation Coercion Stalking Mutilation Aiding and abetting Illegal use of weapons Espionage Crimes against peace Crimes against Etheria Altering reality (unintentional)

Next up my personal least favorite out of this list, Stolas!

Awww poor guy, forcing someone into having sex with you with holding what they need for their job over their head, his crimes took me a bit longer considering he's considered just a poor guy buttt here's a list I thought of from the top of my head: Child Neglect, Abuse of power (unsure if that's a crime) harrasment, r*pe

Next up Bojack the Horseman, Bojack the horse don't act like you don't know!

One of the more sympathetic ones, he's still an asshole but he does try to change and he is well written. He's egotistical and has a huge ego, we do get a positive implied outcome in the series finale, but it's still unclear. Here's a list of his crimes: Murder via inaction Assault Attempted murder Theft Drugging Breaking and entering Harassment Stalking Drug dealing and possession Driving under the influence Supplying alcohol to minors Corruption Sabotage Fraud Identity theft Trespassing Child endangerment Bullying Destruction of property Arson Sexual misconduct with a minor Psychological abuse

Next up my favorite, but still an awful person, Rick Sanchez!

Again, he's one of the more sympathetic ones given his past, and he is actively trying to change and does really love his grandson,the rest of his family and friends even sacrificing himself for his grandson but he is still a horrible person with a longgg list of crimes, also disclaimer ripped most of these from the villains wiki so if any info is missing or inaccurate that's why. List of crimes: Unethical experimentation Negligence Mass murder Mass genocide Mass enslavement Mass torture Mass mundicide Mass property damage Mass manslaughter Mass theoricideMass omnicide (heavily implied)Terrorism Treason Theft Trespassing Death threats Hijacking Assault and battery Psychological abuse Human trafficking Vandalism Regicide Arson Deicide Piracy Possession Hacking Kidnapping Blackmail Con artistry Drug dealing Mutilation Brainwashing Smuggling Corruption Defilement Heresy Vigilantism False imprisonment Jailbreak Sabotage Incrimination Reckless endangerment Indecent exposure Impersonation Cannibalism Aiding and abetting Disturbing the peace Child abuse Substance abuse Abuse of power Burglary War crimes Animal cruelty Forced transmutations Corpse desecrations Grand theft DUI Pollution Attempted infanticideIllicit dealings Weapons dealing Graverobbery Usurpation Public intoxication Child endangerment Evading arrest Perjury Illegal weapons development

[thanathicca]

Pathologic Fest Day 1: From the Other Side

Are AUs allowed on @pathologicfest ? Regardless, we are submitting an illustration of our 22nd century Thanatica AU, "imperare sibi maximum imperium est", anyway (ft. transfem Haruspex) :)

Image description is in alt text. News writing, as well as no text versions of the art, are under the cut.

The text:

(note, the fic itself may or may not have this version of the news - we will definitely edit it later)

Is this the end for Thanatica Labs?

THE CAPITAL, 1 OCTOBER 2165

Daniil Dankovsky, founder of Thanatica Laboratories and lead scientist of the first successful mind-uploading device AVA Project, has once again declined an offer of cooperation from a multinational company. The cooperation deal by Vector Tech, which would have netted Dankovsky a record XXX billion, would have Thanatica Labs give away their exclusive rights to the AVA blueprints and let the company build new AVA units with a tiered subscription program.

"We regret that the deal couldn’t be done," Mr. Telman, CEO of Vector Tech, has gone on record to say. "It’s a shame that Thanatica hoards all their progress under Dankovsky’s influence. Our company would have brought your AVA to the whole world! What kind of scientist are you?"

When requested for an interview, Dr. Dankovsky responded, “Thanatica has, and will always, stand with ethical practices. We are scientists who would not gate one’s life behind paywalls. The deal would have made a version of AVA with proprietary Vector Tech operating system, which has gone on record to sell people’s data to third parties, including intelligence agencies. Would you want data submitted the AVA, which would contain your most vulnerable memories, to be sold to the highest bidder? Would you want targeted advertisements in your brain? Moreover, the deal also mentioned using the subscription programs to access certain memories or even brain functions, which meant you could randomly forget the most important moments in your life, or even forget how to solve a crossword, just because you are a little short on money.”

Vector Tech has not responded to an interview request.

.

Plague “Panacea” safety put into question

While the so-called “panacea” for the plague has been lab-tested for human consumption with 100% efficacy, the contents has so far eluded researchers. A scientist of Thanatica Laboratories has been suspected to be its discoverer.

.

Thanatica founder indicted after siege

THE CAPITAL, 2166

A nation-wide warrant has been released for Thanatica Laboratories founder Daniil Dankovsky, 30, who is wanted by our Nation for unethical experimentation, medical negligence, and leaking classified documents from both governmental bodies and private companies.

Dankovsky has fled his laboratory in the Capital alongside his employees after the month-long siege of Thanatica, where he has been requested to reveal the contents of the so-called “panacea” of the plague. The creators of the “panacea” is also wanted for medical fraud and negligence, as well as rejecting government mandate to explain themselves in court, the Ministry of Health, and Ministry of Research and Development.