#executive dysfunction and food are wild

[adhd-autistic-demi]

*buys $120 worth of groceries*

*gets hungry*

*wants none of what I bought*

[monty-glasses-roxy]

Anyway, I already have a basis on which to make a sequel to my Ruin fic idea. No ideas for it yet, but the premise is there

[zoekrystall]

I watch/listen to trash taste while playing splatoon and instead of playing further did I think oh I should write that anime down -> let's see where I can watch em subbed -> oh that site is good I should maybe make smth like that finally. Cue almost 4 hours later. Updating that with everything in the past will be a pain oof. At least I found out there are nami line stickers (plus a site that makes the zip file easier to download than my past method yay will come handy in the future)

I genuinely think that bar w how many days and all that site got going on makes me push more to watch again bc number go up is fun.

Like I want to fill that life on anime thing up so badly I wonder what it'll say when I got everything from the past on there. Once it's more up to date will I maybe slap it on my socials crd bc why not.

[ladykailitha]

Can Anybody See Me? Part 21

Executive dysfunction is a bitch and can go to hell. I had something I could have posted yesterday while I was working on this, but no...

I am starting to wonder if maybe I shot myself in the foot with my tag rant as engagement for the last Reconnect AU was WAY down. But oh well. I can only continue to move on and hope I find new people who like my stuff.

All righty, my lovelies. We have gotten to the part where I was going to end it originally before you absolute menaces said you wanted me to continue it through season 4.

But here’s the deal, this story has reached nearly novel length of 40k. So what I’ve decided to do is call this the end of book one. And then I will start up book two, which will be through to the end of the school year and probably through the events of season 3. And then book 3 should take us the rest of the way.

I hope that’s acceptable to all of you. I want to continue it, but I think from here on out the title doesn’t fit Steve anymore and he needs a new one.

Now if you’ve followed me long enough, you know that I don’t start putting out a story until it’s done (if it’s short enough) or if I’m three to four chapters deep. So hopefully by the end of the month (if not sooner) you should start seeing book two.

I will run a poll on how you think I should do the tag list for it. But thank you all for coming with me on this absolutely wild ride. And hope you’ll stick around for the next two parts.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20

***

Word had been handed down, Mindy Jones, Ollie Anderson, and Kyle Carver had been suspended with word that Kyle being the instigator might be expelled. For sure he wasn’t going to be able to walk in his cap and gown at graduation.

Steve felt a sense of relief and strangely justice too. Yes, all right suspension wasn’t getting expelled, but the kids had been punished. They didn’t try to hand wave it away.

Steve had heard that Mr Vinke, the math teacher, Mr Cole, Miss Lucy, and Chief Hopper had all gone to the principal and superintendent for all three of them to be expelled.

The suspension was a given, but the school district wanted to do their own investigation and then expulsions might be handed out after it was complete.

Steve didn’t have much hope.

Marty, Gethin, and Janice all sat with the Corroded Coffin boys at lunch, something they didn’t normally do.

“Fuck,” Janice swore. “Why I am more nervous about tonight than I have all week?”

Steve nodded, poking at his food. “I haven’t been this queasy since I took a plate to the head.”

Everyone winced and murmured sympathetic platitudes and other noises of sympathy.

“I think it’s because it’s your last performance,” Gethin murmured. “Your last chance to completely biff it on stage.” Steve and Janice looked at him in wide-eyed fear. He waved his hands placatingly. “Not that I think you will. Just that your brain thinks you will.”

Steve and Janice looked at each other and then nodded.

“Yeah,” Steve agreed. “That tracks.”

Eddie slid his hand under the table and gripped Steve’s knee. Steve covered his hand with his own and gave it a squeeze of thank you.

*

Steve scanned the crowd the second night. He spotted Jeff and all his family, Gareth and Gethin and their parents, Brian and all of his younger siblings, and what looked like his dad. Wayne shuffled in his seat nervously, having never been to a musical before. But still no sign of his parents.

His mom promised that at least she would be there, even if his dad refused to come. And he held on to that. He managed to make it through the show and held it together.

He went out to be congratulated by his friends and their families. Wayne brought him flowers.

“You did good, boy,” he said gruffly, after giving him a hug. “I looked it up and flowers are the gift you give someone after a well-done performance.”

Steve looked down at the bouquet of wild flowers and smiled. “Thank you. I love them.”

Jeff clapped him on the shoulder. “They might be a tad wilted by the time we’re done, because we’re taking you out to eat in celebration.”

Steve teared up a bit. “Thanks, guys.”

Gareth smiled. “You deserve it, man. That was awesome!”

Gethin nudged his shoulder. “We’re just waiting for Janice and Eddie to get done.”

Steve nodded. Eddie had to reset the stage for tomorrow and Janice had to get out of a corset and that took some time.

“Yeah, no problem!” he enthused.

Eddie finished first and came out to meet them.

“Hey, Steve!” he said. “Feeling famous yet?”

Steve laughed. “I’m going to get fat if this keeps up. First ice cream last night and then dinner tonight.”

They all laughed. “It’s impossible for you to gain weight, man,” Brian huffed. “I’ve seen you eat a whole pizza and didn’t even get bloated.”

Steve laughed. “Playing three sports does that to you. Hell, I still life guard at the rec center every summer.”

Brian eyed his lean form skeptically. “I suppose so.”

“Swimming’s fun,” Steve said. “And it’s not just for us jock types.”

Janice finally came out. “Sorry to keep you waiting guys. Sharing with Tammy Thompson is hell let me tell you. I don’t know how someone so tiny can take up so much room.”

“At least you don’t have to share the choir room with twenty sweaty dudes that wouldn’t know deodorant if it bit them in the ass,” Steve grumped.

Gethin shook his head. “Shouldn’t you be used to that from sports?”

Steve rolled his eyes. “At least there are showers after basketball. Can’t say the same here.”

Gethin’s lips curled. “Fair.”

Wayne clapped his hands. “All right, I’ve got us a place reserved, so we need to hustle. Eddie and Steve are coming with me.”

Eddie and Steve filed out with the rest of them and followed Wayne out to his truck.

Steve slid into the middle between Eddie and Wayne.

“Thanks for this, Wayne,” he murmured. “And the flowers, too.”

“You’re welcome, Stevie,” he said. “I didn’t see your parents. Did they show up last night?”

Steve shared a glance with Eddie and then shook his head. “There’s still tomorrow.”

Wayne and Eddie shared a glance of concern over Steve’s head.

“I’m sure that’s the case,” Wayne agreed.

An uneasy silence settled on them as they drove to the restaurant. Wayne parked and turned to Steve.

He pulled him in for a great big hug and then opened the door. “It’ll be all right.”

Steve nodded and slid out after Eddie.

The dinner was just as ruckus as the ice cream parlor the night before. With just as many people. Steve looked around and smiled.

Yeah, 1985 was his year and it was just getting started.

*

Steve looked out to the audience and knew, even in the dimmed lights his parents weren’t there.

“Tell me, Mr Thomson, out of curiosity, do you stand with Mr Dickinson, or do you stand with me?” Vince asked.

Steve could feel the sting of tears in his eyes. He held up the dispatch. “I stand with the General. Lately–I’ve had the oddest feeling that he’s been–writing to me…”

He slowly rose to his feet as he sang,

“I have been in expectation Of receiving a reply On the subject of my last fifteen dispatches. Is anybody there?”

His voice cracked with emotion as he stepped half out of the spotlight.

“Does anybody care? Does anybody care? Y’r humble & ob’d’t–”

The drum rolled and Steve looked up into the eagle’s nest where Eddie was doing the spotlight. A single tear ran down his cheek.

Steve looked down at the paper in his hand and then back up at Eddie. And then he exited the scene on cue.

Eddie swore he saw more tears in that moment then for ‘Mama Look Sharp’ that night.

But that performance of Steve’s brought out something in Vince in that moment. Vince’s John Adams bid Hancock good night, but then it changed. All the emotion and fear of not being seen or heard. The loneliness that Adams must have been feeling in that moment, borrowed from the loneliness of both Washington and Thomson.

“Is anybody there–”

Silence.

“Does anybody care–?”

Again, nothing.

“Does anybody see–what I see?”

And then Kenny came on and delivered the line with a sharpness that hadn’t been there before.

“Yes, Mr Adams, I do.” As if to banish all the fears and insecurities that John was having in that moment.

And Steve could almost hear it as though it was coming from Eddie. As if it was coming from his friends. The party. Wayne.

Yes, his parents weren’t there. They never were. And probably never were going to be. But that didn’t mean that no one was listening to Steve. That no one cared.

They all cared. Every last one of the dozens of people that showed up the last two nights. They cared. They brought their families. Brought flowers. Thought he was worthy of celebrating. Worth treating.

For the boy with the bat.

The boy that never knew what love really was until he looked up from a god damned garbage can into those warm and friendly brown eyes. A warm hand on his back and a gentle ‘Are you okay?’

In that moment, Steve’s life had become changed. Different. Better. All because a teacher took pity on Steve and chose Eddie Munson of all people to be Steve’s protector.

And he looked up at Eddie in the rafters and though he couldn’t see him, he knew that Eddie was looking back at him. Smiling back at him. Loving him for all his worth.

And if you had asked Steve what his worth was back in December he would have told you nothing. He wasn’t worth anything but being the baby-sitter. But now?

Now Steve was a baby-sitter, chauffeur, groupie, actor, chef, swimmer, friend, brother, and most importantly boyfriend. And maybe if he was really lucky, someone’s son.

***

Fin.

Fuck, rereading this to add back in the formatting made me cry. My apologies if it makes you cry too.

Tag List: @shrimply-a-menace @strangersteddierthings @throwbackthrowaway @novelnovella @cursedfoxteeth @babyblender @garden-of-gay @anaibis @lifeisnotsobadonceyoustopcaring @swimmingbirdrunningrock @steve-the-hairrington @winterbuckwild @spectrum-spectre @matchingbatbites   @thing-a-ling @fandemonium-takes-its-toll @artiststarme @sundead  @nelotegreitic @gregre369 @butterflysandpeppermint @thedragonsaunt @kodaik97 @messrs-weasley @scarletzgo @deadlydodos @renaissan-vvitch @evix-syne666 @emly03 @justforthedead89 @ashwinmeird @huniibee @phantypurple @stevesbipanic @shucks-yuckyuck @lovelyscot @awkwardgravity1 @bookbinderbitch @reportinglivefromsoda @jinxjinn @chasinggeese @be-the-spark-bitch @kohlraedirectioner @cr0w-culture @xjessicafaithx @whimsicalwitchm @jaywhohasthegay @estrellami-1 @dangdirtydemons @howincrediblysapphicofyou @the-redthread

[solar-eclippse]

Abijah for the ask game? 👁️w👁️

Gladly~! Thank you for the ask! [Ask game]

1) Sexuality headcanon Pansexual and... I want to say grayromantic?

2) OTP Abijah x me~ Ahem! Who said that? I swear, there's some sort of weird echo in here...

Self-shipping aside... I have been obsessed with Abijah x Mizu since first watching BES. I always go feral over shipping narrative foils together, and these are just. IMMACULATE. Red and blue, fire and water. "Extrovert adopting an introvert" except the introvert would rather he just shut up. Two ruthless killers, one who sees their actions as a necessary evil, the other who RELISHES in it. Two outsiders in their respective home countries because of their heritage. The opportunity for Abijah to act as a mentor figure. The twisted familial vibes. The complicated power dynamic. The sex would be absolutely wild, and you can't convince me that they wouldn't mesh surprisingly well if it wasn't for the fact that they met because Mizu tried to kill him.

3) BROTP Does this guy have any friends? Probably not, so I'm gonna go with him and Heiji. I sort of ship them, too, but either way, their dynamic is SO FUN. I love the idea of a relationship that's 10+ years past date, but they know each other like the back of their hands and need each other too much to get out. I want to study them under a microscope.

4) NOTP Mmm, pass. There's not a lot of ships for Abijah, and I like all the ones I've seen so far.

5) First headcanon that pops into my head Unsurprisingly, he's pretty obsessed with food, and while he's got staff to take care of that these days, I headcanon that he's pretty great at cooking! (He will eat anything that's available, though. The exact opposite of a picky eater.)

6) Favorite line from this character "So! If you might, my dear, dear friend, my trusted partner and clear equal, my right hand and both feet on land, fondest heart, spare a cup of concern towards our purpose... and do it your fucking self."

7) One way in which I relate to this character Shut-in and low-key really mad about it >:/ (My executive dysfunction doesn't allow me to go outside nearly as often as I'd like)

8) Thing that gives me second-hand embarassment about this character That line where he compares his conquest of Edo to a partner waiting for him on the bed. Sir. Just generally how much of a freak he is. (I mean, same, but.) Every time I write him, there's a constant chant of "Why are you like this?" going on in my head.

9) Cinnamon roll or problematic fave? Look. I adore him, but it doesn't matter how many pet names I call him or how much I think of his tragic backstory, he might just be the most morally reprehensible character I've ever gotten attached to, and even I can't fool myself into thinking he's anything but a problematic fave.

[emerystellar]

hii ^_^ i would appreciate if anyone could spare some change cuz i have a lot of expenses right now and i am barely stringing along. more context/sob story under the cut if you want but tl;dr car repairs, ubers to/from work, and food in the meantime

ways to support me:

redbubble ☆ i have quite a few things on there, including logos of my stuff and retro things like bowling alley carpet, i’m working on a pride collection of bowling alley carpets too!! and i have a lot more in the works :]

patreon ☆ four different tiers with varying perks, and near-daily updates on art projects, sneak peeks at redbubble designs, previews on music and even full songs weeks before they release- also recognition on youtube, my discord, etc etc!

donations ☆ these are quick links to all the major money sharing apps (cashapp venmo paypal), if you want to do zelle that requires my email (emery.nova7673@gmail.com)

bandcamp ☆ for as little as a dollar you can pick any of my currently released songs to get the highest quality download, which is equivalent to listening to it 34 times on spotify… so if you really like my music then own it for yourself here! you can also get 50% off literally anything with the code hungrypumpkin (since it’s helping me pay for food lol)

and if you can’t donate, pleaaaase reblog hopefully to reach someone who can- reblogs help wayyy more than likes in this case ^^

thank you all!!! you’re amazing and i hope you have a stellar day

poll for engagement:

okayyy umm hii… i’m a queer trans non-binary neurodivergent indie artist, teacher, and musician (to get all the demographic solidarity out there, i never know how to write these) and as of rn i’m having to pay my dad $1900 to fix my car’s transmission while ALSO paying anywhere from $100-150 a week on ubers to get to and from work since i have a residential tutoring job. while ALSO having to pay rent, bills, etc like normal. it fuckign sucks and i’ve literally been eating almost nothing except free handouts from college … it’s a nightmare and it weighs on me every day 😔

not only are most of the ubers a wild roulette on whether the car’s going to be super uncomfortable and make me nauseous, the driver being overpolitical and talking about super uncomfortable shit out of the blue and making me feel really unsafe, they’re often super fucking late and i can’t risk being late to work and it’s just all around not sustainable yayy!! and i also just learned i have depression from all this! which next to the rest of my melting pot of neurodivergence makes it Really goddamn hard to exist in a positive way!

when i’m not at work or school i am making as much content as i possibly can and pushing it out onto redbubble, patreon, etc. you will get more than your moneys worth in return from artistic content and stuff, that’s all i have to offer right now, because frankly commissions are extremely draining and take me SUPER LONG to finish- i don’t want you to have to fight through my executive dysfunction to get a finished piece that’s not fair to you and i want to make this as worth it as possible on the user end

if you want a specific goal, then right now, $350 for ubers for a month would help a lot but naturally give as much as you can because i need all i can get rn ^^; i’m lowballing it so it feels more achievable really but just ,, please anything helps lol

$0 / $350

thank you i love you all my gratitude is immeasurable and i just.. thank you for supporting me it helps more than you know

[danothan]

cw: disordered eating (of the adhd variety)

i don’t eat enough in the day bc of forgetfulness + executive dysfunction + hyperfocus, so i’ve been getting “room snacks” to still have something to eat, but it’s becoming inconvenient, not to mention unsustainable. i think i eat an actual meal every 6hrs, which isn’t too wild (i think average meals are spaced out 3-4hrs?) but i can feel myself losing energy and getting fatigued

i used to eat huge meals to the point of feeling sick so i could space them out longer bc there is nothing i hate more than taking 2-3 hrs to work up the mental prep to do smth productive only to get hungry again 1 hr into the work. but i think that’s unhealthy

eating doesn’t feel like a break for me, it feels like a chore and a disruption. and i enjoy food is the thing! i love eating, but i wish it was optional, like smth i could have once every other day as a treat. does anyone have advice for this kind of thing, maybe i’m not getting the right nutrients to feel properly full or energized? idk but i can’t keep choosing between hunger + productivity or being fed + getting nothing done

[weaselle]

i only respond when i have a certain kind of active social obligation.

like, i can spend all day carrying heavy things upstairs for a friend helping them move. Or i can run my ass off on a 16 hour restaurant shift. Or i can focus on what is going on every second even if not much is happening if i’m on a sports team.

But just for me? i can’t seem to make myself do a damn thing on my own time. Some kind of executive dysfunction thing.

I feel like modern living, especially in the U.S., has, over the generations, pushed us further and further toward some kind of every human is a self sufficient island unto themselves kind of existence.

And what i really want, is a team meant to cooperatively live modern life through assigned responsibilities and leveraging group dynamics.

And i know i know, that’s what a family is supposed to be but let me make three quick points

A: part of the reason we’ve had a push toward that individualism is because there are a lot of people who for one reason or another don’t have access to family that can reasonably be considered a support system or cooperative cell of any kind, and

2nd: classic family structures are possibly not the most efficient or best suited to really address all the details of a modern western life ( let’s just say North America, i don’t mean to describe social realities that i’m not intimately familiar with)

Last: this proposed social unit is not in competition with the existence of family in any way, but is complimentary -- for example, any family could also simultaneously form this kind of group, and, to a certain extent, many already do

Anyway, I want to be, like, a pirate crew, but instead of a ship it’s a house, and instead of plundering ships we’re sailing the economic sea in search of our fortune.

And so you’d have, like, your supply officer, who would be responsible for enforcing group goals in researching and acquiring supplies. For example ethically sourced chocolate, and not any of the Fake Ethically Sourced brands that are owned by the 3 giant child-slavery-sourcing chocolate companies.

That shit takes research, and there are SO MANY such things to consider -- what IS the environmental difference between wild caught vs fish farmed? Hint: fish farmed means keeping them crowded in a giant net off the coast. Which, just like for industrial chicken farming, concentrates their waste (poop) into an area that, while sizable, is much smaller than that number of animals would normally be spread over. And that poop, in small amounts, adds vital nutrients to the environment, but, in high concentration like this, blights the entire area like a poison.

What i’m saying is, getting into all that and making informed decisions about how you acquire your food, and furniture, and printer ink, everything, that’s like an entire part-time job all by itself.

In fact, it might turn out your Supply Officer needs a supply assistant. And somebody needs to go over the electric bill etc and make sure we’re only paying for what we used, right? Keep the cars registrations up to date, schedule regular maintenance on home and vehicles, over see annual doctor appointments and probably do the taxes -- Paperwork and Appointments, or maybe Calendar and Budget, probably want some kind of medic, of course somebody in the kitchen, maybe three somebodies depending on group size, don’t forget your maintenance and repair mate... 

IDK the point is to look objectively at what this life has become, and create a team for handling that on purpose.

That’s what i want. And i want it to be common. Like, a normal socio-economic institution like marriage or incorporating as a company. So you can sort of slot yourself into one or two specialties on purpose, get good at cooking, or, scheduling, or something you had an affinity for on purpose for when you joined such a group.

If i was in a group like that, i’d be good at life. I’d be doing my job, i’d be the best for the team, i’d be trying to show off how good i was at it, how hard i worked at it. Right? For the group. But try so hard as just, me? what’s the point

[motherhenna]

Thanks for the ideas guys! Next time I go grocery shopping, I'll keep your suggestions / recipes in mind. Is anybody interested in some of the simple, picky eater friendly recipes I've accumulated this month? Haven't tried cooking any yet so I can't vouch for quality or ease, but I'd be more than willing to copy and paste everything from my notesapp list to here.

Honestly, if I can get to a point where I don't hate food prep and can figure out a stable of doable meals, I'll probably curate and post a DIY Executive Dysfunction cookbook lol because there's not enough of that kind of shit online. Like, I'll google "super simple high protein meals" and it'll take me to a website where the first dish requires you to thaw out a whole steak and make a stir-fry to boot?? neurotypicals are wild

[arecaceae175]

Authenticity Ch. 12: Pressure

Summary: Wild has a bad day. Time helps.

Warnings: descriptions of overstimulation, feeling nonverbal, and executive dysfunction

Notes: Disclaimer: I'm verbal most of the time and this chapter is based on what I feel when I have nonverbal episodes. The experience probably feels different for people who are completely nonverbal or semi-verbal. My headcannon for Wild here is that he has nonverbal episodes after meltdowns, which is (aaaaas usual) based on my experience.

Wild felt a pressure in his throat. It continued into his chest, squeezing his throat and his heart and his lungs. His cloak was wrapped tightly around his ears, but the sounds of swords sharpening and armor being polished were still loud enough to hurt. 

Wild wanted to ask them to stop, but he couldn’t open his mouth. He tried, but the pressure in his throat grew and he felt like he would choke. The sounds stabbed into his ears. Wild wanted to move away, but he couldn’t get his legs to move. He wanted to move, he thought about the exact motions he would have to go through to get up and walk towards the forest, but he couldn’t do it. 

Wild began rocking in place, desperate to do anything to feel better. It was a bad day. He had already cried twice today. The others were understanding, and they didn’t seem to be frustrated with him, but Wild still didn’t want to seem weak around them. He didn’t want to be a burden.

Time appeared in Wild’s view and lowered himself onto the ground next. Wild froze, watching Time very closely. Wild couldn’t tell what Time’s expression or body language meant, so he was forced to wait. Time looked around the camp, then pulled his arm from behind his back and dropped Twilight’s wolf pelt into Wild’s lap.

Wild immediately grasped into it, bringing it up to rub on his face. He carefully arranged it so it didn’t smother Brenda the Second on his lap.

“I snatched it while the rancher wasn’t looking. I’m sure he won’t mind,” Time said quietly.

Wild felt like he should laugh, but it got caught in his throat. He made a small noise of frustration instead, and gripped the pelt harder. 

“Do you want to go for a walk?” Time asked. 

Wild considered the offer. The forest was always nice, and it would be quieter than camp. He still couldn’t get his body to cooperate with him, though. Wild realized Time was waiting for a response, and wanted to say no, but he couldn’t. The words were stuck in his throat. His body was frozen in place and he couldn’t shake his head, either. 

“Hmm. One moment, I’ll be right back,” Time said. He nimbly rose to his feet and left Wild’s view. Wild couldn’t pick up his head to watch where Time went, but he was able to start rocking again. Between the pelt and the rocking, he felt like the storm in his mind had calmed slightly.

Time returned soon after, and sat down next to Wild again. With great effort, Wild refocused his attention and realized the camp was noticeably quieter. He heard the sounds of food being prepared and a card game, but no more metal clinking. Wild let out a breath of relief, and felt his chest loosen ever so slightly. 

“If there’s anything else you want, get my attention and I can guess until I get it,” Time said. Wild was able to shake his head this time. Time’s clothes ruffled, and Wild glanced over to see him leaning back on his hands. Time closed his eyes and began to hum a soft tune. It only took a few notes for Wild to recognize it as the tune he hummed while he cooked. 

Wild adjusted his rocking to match the tune, and let himself get lost in the comforting sounds and motions. He felt a warm feeling blossom in his chest, and the pressure in his body and his mind began to loosen. 

Wild made a content noise, and hoped Time would understand that it was meant to convey his gratitude. 

[geodetojoy]

God I’d wanna meet you and char so bad!! (And you too eowyn if you see this!!)

I think I’d just wanna get away at first, and maybe bring one of my irls with me or take them somewhere else if they didn’t want to live together (neither of us are in the best places at home rn). I wouldn’t really care where, just somewhere else. Leave almost all traces of my past behind me and just start anew

Id bring my cats and give them a life so much better than the one they have now, a life better than they deserve (which is impossible, they’re the best little guys ever and they deserve the world, but you get the idea)

I’d absolutely still want to pursue my passion of game development, whether that be through public education or learning on my own. But I’d also want to learn so much more. Follow through on all the things little me wanted to be when I grew up, and go beyond even that. Interior design? Sure. Archeology? Fuck yeah. Botany? I’ll start my own garden.

Even further, I’ll grow and produce everything I need to keep baking. I’ll make food for myself and my pets and everyone I care about and I won’t have to worry about it hurting me or anyone else because I could control everything that goes into it.

I’d have all of the animals I love, or at least go to a place where they’re native so I can encounter them in the wild.

I’d finally have time to work on and finish all of my art projects I want to make, and then I can spend even more time improving my skills

I’d write! Oh my god I’d write. I can’t even express how much I’d write. I’d write fan fiction, I’d create worlds of my own, I’d run a dnd campaign!!

I think I’d live fairly far from most people, as long as I’d have the means to sustain myself. Maybe I’d stay near a few shops and such but as long as I have contact with my friends thats all the people I need. And away from the city I’d be able to see the stars and be able to see and paint the most beautiful landscapes, and my animals wouldn’t have to worry about running too far away or the dangers of urbanization.

I’d live in a pretty small place, just enough room for a nice kitchen, bedroom, bathroom, and a large studio for my artwork. I’d have plenty of yard space, likely live by the woods or a forest, and have a large garden and plenty of outdoor space for me to do art in the later hours of the day, because god knows my autism can’t handle the sunlight.

I’d watch all of the things I wanna watch, play all of the games I want to play, and all of it would give me the motivation to create my own art to show to the world, whatever medium it may be in.

Honestly the thing I think I’d look foreword to most, which is incredibly simple and a bit embarrassing, is that I’d sing. I’d sing so much without the fear of others hearing me. I’d have the time to work on my voice, to listen to more songs I love, and to sing along to those too. Hell maybe I’d write my own music if I find the motivation. I love singing so fucking much and I just can’t do it around others, idk if it’s as simple as my anxiety or shame or what, but in this place surrounded by nothing but nature and comfort, I don’t think I’d ever stop.

But I think what I’d do most is rest. I wouldn’t need wake up super early (as long as the animals are okay) and I wouldn’t need to worry about deadlines or being forced to do anything, I could take all of the time that I need to get things done and I think that lack of stress would really help my executive dysfunction.

And I wouldn’t be afraid to accommodate my body or my mind or to get it the help it needs. I’d have a sensory room, tons of fidget toys, I’d get rid of all of the things that make me uncomfortable, and maybe I’d even get a therapist if things were still too rough.

Edit: ID CUT MY HAIR holy shit id cut my hair I’ve been unable to get a specific haircut I want for years now and ID GET THAT

I have a question, if you could do anything you wanted with your life, and money, time, and other circumstances wouldn't be an issue, what would you like to do?

[wheeeeboiiii]

Making this post to mark the date and as a tiny log entry.

Alright, so I heard about magnesium supplements being helpful with anxiety and to an extent depression months ago. I have also been severely depressed since I was sixteen. I am now 28. No, no therapy, I live in a place where that's basically a joke.

Months go by

Depression is depressing and I'm barely functioning

Maladaptive daydreaming is ruling me

I see a pharmacy near me post it's "now in stock" and there is magnesium supplements. So I say why not. I google: magnesium glycinate is the supplement with results for anxiety, and I go and I buy it.

It has been two days and I can do things calmly without fighting myself. I took one supplement with food that same afternoon I bought it, and woke up like I'd been on leave for a month instead of three days. I am still on leave for the next three days, so this is not tested in the wild yet.

I haven't had a crying bout, I don't feel the executive dysfunction, and my emotions are the calmest I've felt in literal years. There are a handful of days I can count that I've felt like this. I haven't gotten distracted from what I was doing, and haven't daydreamed my way into anxiety.

All of this in two days, and it's like honestly, I don't feel like myself. I feel like I've been turned off when I was previously on full tilt, only one set of wheels on the tracks this whole time. I feel like I've come to a stop and if I could be scared right now, I would.

[mintyvoid]

I know i have some wild executive dysfunction shit, but i think my true ultimate evil foe is autistic inertia.

Cause unlike the like typical 'hIGh fUncTIoniNG' peeps, i can organize and plan very well. I have no issues with creating schedules that are do able, and figuring out how to structure tasks or split them etc. Time management and knowing how long something takes is still an issue...but to work on it i have to, ya know, actually DO things.

This is where the inertia comes in. Ive realized I struggle with this A SHIT TON. Especially when I dont want to do something, I have high stubbornness, so its possible i have demand avoidant as well. This really pops up with hygine, it feels like a waste of time to me. I dont hate it or enjoy it, nor does it really cause that much sensory overwhelment, i just dont want to do it lol.

I can sit for over 4 hours in the same spot and struggle to force myself to get up and get food, or water, or use the washroom. I can want to do these things and still not be able to get up.

With projects this super sucks, since my focus is so bad due to my circumstance it makes the inertia worse. I cant use timers or any sort of accountability, it does nothing to force my hand, got no sense of urgency.

For a quick lesson, autistic inertia is used when explaining how the asd brain moves forward, its ability to start,end, and switch tasks(which can be anything). How it reacts to sudden switches, ends, and starts etc. Course this ties into the other aspects of the specturm like executive functions. Id say its a pretty big part, as what the brain does is read and execute tasks, whether that be physically moving or emotional response.

It makes me feel not real or in control of my person. I can spend mintues or days or years, telling myself to do this or that and it never happens. Couple that with subconsious stuff i do like my excoriation and it just makes living that much more frustrating. Sometimes i can do things and sometimes i just cant for no rhyme or reason.

The things in my environment that need to change I cant due to funds. Its important to create an environment in order to actually work on these things, but when not able it not only makes things worse in thr short term but the long term too. Since it seems that those on the spectrum struggle way more to adopt habits or to shift existing ones. It just seems like a losing battle.

[ryutarotakedown]

tagged by @princess-of-purple-prose​! thanks Kay :DD

relationship status: i would like someone to kiss me but only completely platonically and also with the guarantee we never talk about it again (read: happily single)

favorite color: oh god i don’t have one. i know this is objectively the most boring answer but i don’t have one. i’ll go with fifth grader me’s judgment and say turquoise

favorite food: hm. strawberry ice cream maybe?

song currently stuck in my head:

[ID: Screenshot of the YouTube video “Comedy” by Gen Hoshino. The thumbnail shows the three Forgers from Spy x Family—Loid looks blank, Anya looks excited, and Yor looks quietly pleased. The red line underneath the video indicates that it is 1 hour long and that I have already played 56 minutes of it. End ID]

i’m being really normal about found family i promise

five favorite songs: okay this is less my five favorites (it was hard to pick!) and more the first that came to my mind:

Comedy (again)

Sigyn (of The Bifrost Incident fame)

The Killing Kind (Marianas Trench)

Home (Cavetown)

Curses (The Crane Wives)

honorable mention to sea shanties, which aren’t on here because they haven’t been adapted into TMA animatics yet.

last thing i googled: i use incognito mode but it looks like the last thing i googled in not-incognito mode was the ACT homepage

current time: 4:04 (not found) PM as i type this! posting at a different time though

dream trip: south pole!!!! (or the north pole—i get them mixed up to be honest)

something i want: executive function. okay no, right now i want the next issue of spy x family manga because i just finished the last one i got. (in “dramatic realization” voice) possibly hyper-fixations…  are related to… executive dysfunction?!

currently reading: nothing right now! honestly in a bit of a slump.

last series: take a wild fucking guess. (yes it’s the found family show) (the only two shows i’ve ever watched are Spy x Family and Arcane, which probably says a lot about my preferences)

last movie: top gun maverick, which was absolutely terrible and i’m glad people on tumblr mostly agree because IRL people were So Exhausting about it.

currently working on: making a transcript website for RQ podcasts in general—i’ve got 4 episodes of RQG up so far (here)

also still working on Ghost!Georgie fic (1.2k so far of the second chapter!! i’m going to get it out before summer ends i swear to god)

i don’t know who likes getting tagged for tag games and who doesn’t, so if you see this and want to do it then consider yourself tagged!

[adventures-on-foster-island]

"I've printed out some literature for you, something we type up for each rescue so that when they find a new home, their trainer has all the information on how to best take care of them. It was really good to see you, Alex. I hope these past few days of rest, coupled with your new knowledge, and your new service Pokémon, will help you recover faster."

Clefable was trained to help her previous trainer with dementia and arthritis, skills which can be repurposed to fit new needs. Her Helping Hand can be used to replenish your energy levels, reduce the effect gravity has on your body to help with movement, and refocus you after a triggering situation or when dealing with executive dysfunction. She has also taken special training for moves like Life Dew, Calm Mind, Follow Me, Metronome, and Sing. As an adult, well trained Pokémon, Clefable won't require as much training or have as many care needs as a younger or wild caught Pokémon, but she'll still need your help with a few things. Clefable are herbivores, with a diet mostly consisting of a variety of grass hay. They should also eat a lot of green vegetables, such as kale, broccoli, lettuces, and the tops of many root vegetables. They can eat most fruits and vegetables, which can be given as treats. Avoid processed foods, and anything too high in starch, fat, salt, or protein. It is normal for the species to not drink much water if they are given a well balanced diet, but still make sure she has access to clean drinking water. She can groom herself and should not be given a bath with soap, however may enjoy a good soak anyway, and can get up from the bath completely dry thanks to the strange powers of the species. She will also need a good bit of alone time, and should be allowed outside at night within the yard, especially if the weather is nice and the moon is full, but should have a safe and easy way to get back inside in case of danger. She is not battle trained, but will need enrichment in other ways. Her tasks helping you will provide plenty of mental enrichment, but providing her with toys to play with and the space and time to run and jump will help reduce pent up energy. Bring her back here anytime she needs medical care or regular physical exams for free.

Part one

@alexanders-pokemon-adventure

The walk back to the main building was short, but they were sweating and panting from the heat and humidity by the time Ellisa swiped her lanyard to unlock the door to the staff entrance in the back. It opened into a break room, with a table, chairs, lockers, a television, and a mini fridge. They skirted around the room to avoid disturbing staff on their breaks, and found the elevator on the other side. When they reached the appropriate floor, Ellisa held the door to allow Alex to step out first before she and Lynn followed. The room was empty of other humans, but there was a steady beeping in the background accompanied by the electrical humming of several computers and machines. "Before we begin, can I see your trainer ID and Nimbus' Pokéball? It's for the records, and also for safety. Once I scan these in, it will be literally impossible for anyone to kidnap Nimbus while on the island. Part of a new security feature to protect high-risk Pokémon." She saw the unease on Alex’s face, but they handed over the requested items without resistance. "There, all set, you can have these back. I'll.... also need to draw some blood from both of you," Ellisa pressed a button on the wall and a soft bell noise rang in the air. A moment later, the elevator door opened and Beatrix the Chansey stepped out, followed closely by her adopted daughter, Aerith. "Thank you for coming dearie, would you mind setting up the machine while I take their vitals? Lynn, come take Nimbus and keep them occupied for a moment, would you my love?"

[serenawitchwriter]

BNHA fusion (Bakusquad/Todoroki)

TodoBaku

i pity endeavor

somehow angrier than bakugou? like it’s less of a tsundere, shouty way and more of a punk rock 100% ready to throw down at the slightest provocation

has less tolerance for spice but will eat it anyway

spicy noodles

a lot blunter with his actual thoughts

so much fire, i’m imagining because of Baku's chemical secretion they could possibly make some kind of plasma, though i doubt that makes scientific sense.

also shoots steam out of one their hands

spiky red and white hair, not split down the middle but streaky. a bit like natsuo only more integrated

red eyes, no heterochromia, but keeps the scar

handsome, but constantly looks a bit constipated

really self-critical

incredibly good at mocking people. easily makes people cry with his insults because they’ll attack the thing about you that you don’t like

surprisingly unaggressive towards midoriya. like bakugou’s rivalry/aggression toward him is somehow dampened by todoroki’s love of mido

also tolerant of specifically mina, uraraka, and kirishima. everyone else push their buttons to the point of pissing them off.

i’d like to see them fight dabi because it feels like they’d have similar vibes, except todobaku is less theater kid.

would absolutely wear a leather jacket

despite their angry punk energy, they still pretty anal about self care and schedules. like they’re straight edge nerds about everything but fighting

KiriTodo

chaotic

like they aren’t a bad person but they are a dumbass and the shit that they get up to is spectacularly wild

completely red hair, silky texture. either slicks it back or spikes it into a mohawk. depends on the day

still scarred, red and blue eyes.

shark teeth but in a softer shaped face

usually shirtless, especially when it’s inappropriate

will eat literally anything

incredibly insecure but honest about it

clingy to his friends in an almost desperate way. like his friends will always be their for him but even then he’s struggling to feel secure about it

slow burn anger, but is the most terrifying person to see angry. you do not want to see him get genuinely pissed

an incredibly kind person

fantastic with animals

another elemental quirk user

i have the mental image of a rock golem running at the enemy while on fire and covered in ice. again, avoid pissing him off

pauses a lot while talking and uses a lot of filler words like ‘like, um, and uh”. almost like a valley girl

deceptively smart and emotionally mature. like they have their moments of being profound, of getting where others are coming from, of doing something totally genius

but is also a dumbass the vast majority of the time. like you’d be shocked at how stupid he can be

can’t fucking read

affectionate towards Bakugou and Midoriya. thinks they’re all best friends. isn’t entirely wrong. loves Mina as well

cuddly as hell, but is not comfortable to cuddle with. he’s too hard and he’s never the right temperature

TodoMina

chaotic part 2

a weird combo, probably not very stable

candy cane colored curls, with a pink transition color in their hair. still has horns.

it’s hard to tell that they’re scarred with pink skin. heterochromic eyes, one blue, the other yellow with black sclara

has a creepy laugh

fully into being an alien and is attempting to convince people it’s true, not in a joking way.

more plasma options in terms of quirks. i don’t know how freezing or heating acid effects it, but the effect can probably be used for something

will do basically anything they put their mind to, no matter how absurd. once they make a decision they’re going to do it hell or high water

shift back and forth between being incredibly hyper and on the ball, and being exhausted and antisocial. 

overly invested in gossip and discovering the truth. nosy as hell

impossible to predict

probably into yoga?

manic pixie dream girl? definitely quirky

has a mean sense of humor, and is sometimes just mean in general. generally has good intentions but won’t hesitate to cut people down when they feel they ‘deserve it’

candy addiction

TodaKami

very stable

very funny and chill

stoner vibes regardless of if they do drugs

zones out constantly

black lightning in the white half, red lightning in yellow half of hair. fine and silky as hell

green eyes, no scar. probably needs glasses but doesn’t have them yet

weather powers. can make storms, clouds, effect temperature. can be effected by their own weather and injures themselves often

but is an op fighter anyway

both a memer and conspiracy theorist but in an entertaining way. could have a buzzfeed unsolved style show if they find the right skeptic. i feel like iida would be a cute partner for that. obviously todokami is the unhinged one

will eat literal garbage. i could see them eating from a dumpster because the pizza looked okay

rude mouth, says what he’s thinking regardless of how hurtful it is. isn’t intentionally trying to be mean.

obsessed with dragons

constantly tired. they sleep and sleep but it is never enough

pretty cuddly and quiet when zoned out

a fantastic hugger

baby

Todosero

weird but in an inexplicably normal way

like they’re not getting bullied for it, they’re not subverting society or being overly chaotic. they’re just kinda... odd.

possibly a fae in disguise?

fixed looking smile

scarred. small black eyes. hair is split to be red and white. but the roots are black

obviously still has tape elbows. quirk is probably some kinda fire and ice whip. makes a lot of icicles as well. has many creative applications, especially because they’re both range attacks

executive dysfunction anyone?

loves manga, particularly weird artsy kind, or horror and mysteries

will chill in high places for hours. probably makes a full spiderweb or cocoon or hammock.

just likes getting away from people

wears Hawaiian shirts casually. on the tame side

loves the beach

loves noodles more than life itself. has a mission to try every type of noodle

probably gets stuck places and gets lost easily

makes people uncomfortable. kind of person who just stands silently and stares at you. will wait until you notice him to speak. so sometimes he’ll just be standing silently behind you for five minute and than you’ll finally turn around and have a heart attack,

will otherwise jut kinda stand at the periphery of groups and stare blankly. like that vine of the guy disassociating at a party

never quite jives with the conversations, timing always seems off. they’re just really awkward

pretty fun loving given the opportunity. hanging out with friends is their favorite activity

vibes fairly well with ojiro and hagakure

TodoJirou

cool

makes ice puns, which is lame but gay/lesbian solidarity part 2

white and purple hair in a bob. no scar. has the earphone jacks. purple and silver eyes. petite

deserves to wear sunglasses at all times. probably doesn’t but they deserve to

incredibly chill

actually pretty lazy given the opportunity

still plays the bass and is quite passionate about it

husky singing voice. it’s good but unique, most suited towards indie stuff, not belting Broadway.

plays with earjacks constantly

in love with momo

powers aren’t particularly enhanced by each other. have to get pretty creative to make it effective. don’t mind that much, they aren’t trying to be number one, they’re just herre to help

probably always in a leather jacket

generally pretty sweet, especially towards close friends. it’s a quiet kindness. more shown by putting extra food on your plate when you’re not eating enough, instead of demanding you eat more verbally

sardonic

stable

easily annoyed, especially by injustice. if something is unfair they’ll get mad

generally incredibly mellow, one of the less feral fusion overall

(masterlist)