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intersexbookclub · 23 days ago

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A lot of thoughts on Just Ash (contains spoilers)

Our book pick for November 2024 was the 2021 YA coming-of-age novel Just Ash by intersex author Sol Santana. We met on 2024-11-29, and it gave us a lot to talk about in terms of intersex representation!

The book features a main character, Ash, who has CAH and has been raised as a boy, and identifies as a boy. When Ash hits puberty and starts to physically become androgynous, he starts getting bullied at school. His mother, who always wanted a daughter, forcibly transitions Ash to live as a girl. Cue tons of gender dysphoria. 😭 Ash winds up in hospital due to all the stress, and runs away to live with his older sister. The sister affirms Ash’s masculinity and lets him retrotransition back to being a boy. 🥳 A custody battle ensues.

Upfront PSA: Santana’s definition of intersex (which she provides in the author notes) is exclusionist. 🚨 She does not include hormonal variations in her definition of intersex. It is effectively a dogwhistle that Santana does not accept PCOS hyperandrogenism as intersex. This goes against every major intersex organization’s understanding of what intersex is, and against the consensus of the community as a whole. While we thought the book has plenty of strengths, anybody picking it up should know that Santana’s definition of intersex is not representative of the intersex community. 👎️

Overall impressions

Michelle (@scifimagpie): This book was like really speedrunning the emotional processing of really intricate intersex issues. It was a rougher read but I couldn't put it down. It felt very authentic for a very young prickly teenage boy. Also, the adults sucked in this book and I was here for it. 👍️👍️

Elizabeth: Mixed feelings! This book needed so many CWs at the front, but I think it also handled the violence with care - it didn’t feel gratuitous, just unflinchingly realistic. Rough, but done on purpose, and it helped a lot that Ash was given so many other things to do than suffer. I felt like it did a good job of illustrating how gender is very complicated for many intersex people. But it also had an intermedicalist vibe that I didn’t appreciate. 🤨

Bnuuy: Overall positive impression! 👍️ Liked how Ash was a Ash as an example of positive masculinity. More cis guys should read this book. The book highlights a lot of intersections between queer & intersex issues. I only read half but agree that many things need CWs.

Rylee (@goingrampant): it was kind of intense, it was a thriller. I really want people on Tumblr to read this book. 🙌 "AFAB trans woman" has become a hot button phrase where perisex trans women have decided that it's not a valid term, and have gotten very intersexist dying on that hill. This book does a good job showing what it looks like to be an (intersex) AMAB trans man. 👍️

Feral: I’ve found a lot of perisex trans people don’t really get that we intersex folks can be assigned a gender at birth & still be denied actual access to that gender & can end up with both masculine and feminine gender expectations…. while also being denied genuinely being either gender. 🙃 So I think this would potentially be a good book for helping people understand some ways that this can happen without real people’s trauma having to be turned into a Teaching Moment™. 👍️

Remy: I cant believe they managed to misdirect me so that I didn’t predict that twist at the end! 👍️

The intersex representation: initial thoughts

Things that felt very real to us: the part where the intersex group were told they couldn’t participate in a parade. 😭 How Ash’s parents reacted to Ash’s intersexness. 😬

Remy praised how it acknowledges intersex kids oppression without being in conflict with (perisex) trans kids’ oppression! 🩷

Rylee thinks that this book should be read by perisex folks (both trans and cis) who are confused or resistant to the idea that intersex people can be both cisgender and transgender at the same time should read this book. It’s good for building empathy with cistrans folks, and it illustrates how Ash is M-to-F-to-M. A lot of times when trans people run across that kind of language, they they think that it's some kind of abusive right wing distortion of trans identity (e.g. weaponizing detransitioning). The book shows how Ash was assigned male at birth and identified with that, and then being reassigned as female, and then pushing against that, and how it made him both cisgender and transgender.

Elizabeth agreed that this would be helpful for perisex allies to read, because too often the only times they talk about intersex is to demonstrate sex is socially constructed. This book illustrates how we have so many gender issues that are relevant to trans discussions that tend to be underappreciated by perisex trans folks, like mistransitioning and retransitioning, and how AGAB should not be confused for socially imposed gender.

However, Elizabeth also felt that anybody picking up the book should also know that the book is exclusionist about who is intersex, and that the intersex community is actually quite unanimous that hormonal variations belong in the community. Santana is unusual for being resistant to this inclusion, and it was a common gripe with the book. 👎️

We liked how matter-of-fact the discussion of genital difference was, but there were times it seemed to undercut the message about masculinity and gender.

The book had a happy ending. While it was outright wish fulfillment in many regards, it was hard to be mad about it, because we just need more queer joy in our lives.

The Forced Gender Transition

We all agreed it was painful watching Ash's gender be repeatedly denied. Bnuuy pointed out that even though physicians keep claiming to be The Ultimate Authority on how gender works, they actually can’t agree on which gender some people (like Ash) are.

We all agreed it also made for an effective illustration of how intersex gender issues are just different than perisex, trans issues. Intersex is messy, and oftentimes our genders don’t really fit with what perisex trans people are used to. Too many trans people expect trans people to be clearly either transmasculine or transfeminine (and maybe transneutral), and it’s important to have representation of people (intersex or perisex) who do not fit into these neat boxes. 🏳️‍⚧️

Even when the book highlights how intersex gender issues are different from perisex trans issues, it still also speaks to common ground experienced by both groups. Both groups are frequently forced to undergo a puberty that they don’t want, to have to live under a socially imposed gender they don’t want. The reasons or mechanisms may vary, but being forcefully kept in a gender you don’t want to be in is such an important common ground.

Bnuuy pointed out that often when intersex gender issues are contrasted with perisex trans issues, what actually happens is perisex transness is understood only as binary perisex transness.

Feral praised how the school requiring Ash to use the staff bathroom was presented as a bad thing. It also liked when Ash points out that state law would require the school to let him use the boy’s bathroom if he was a trans boy, and the principal dismisses that by saying that Ash isn’t trans. It was a good way to highlight that while intersex people pretty much always get harmed by anti-trans laws & policies whether we’re explicitly targeted or not, we don’t necessarily get protections just because of the experience overlap if we aren’t explicitly named in the laws protecting trans people.

Rylee felt more conflicted about this, pointing out that Ash seemed angry/bitter about the (perisex) trans community, and while that’s relatable to many intersex people, it could have been handled more deftly.

Salt Wasting for Plot Reasons

So, Ash winds up in the hospital after having to live as a girl for an extended period of time. The hospitalization is clearly a plot device to get Ash out of the forced gender situation. And what Santana does is give Ash a very rare version of salt-wasting CAH that has incredibly gone undetected until he is in high school. For us this felt improbable, and it also felt unnecessary, because…

Giving Ash an eating disorder would have been far more realistic, and would have accomplished the same plot device. 🫤

Eating disorders are unfortunately very common among intersex & trans folks and it would have been productive to see that representation (especially for a masculine character!). It felt extra frustrating that Santana chose one of the very few intersex variations that gives people health problems. Feelings about that were mixed: we don’t want intersex to be pathologized, but it is also useful for people to know that some intersex variations like salt-wasting CAH do come with health concerns to be aware of.

One of the reasons that a few of us expected an eating disorder plot was how Ash was fatphobic to one of his friends, and ED hospitalization would set up a discussion of that. Instead, the fatphobia was left unaddressed.

The Clinician Interactions

A few of us felt that the way the physicians in the book were presented came off more as intersex fantasy than intersex reality. Too many of the physicians knew too much about intersex for it to feel realistic to us. In general, physicians in the book were also very respecting of informed consent in a way that also did not line up with own experiences of intersex-related health care. Positioning clinicians as advocates/allies just didn’t really feel realistic to us. 🙃

The fact that the clinicians in the book used the word intersex, rather than the extremely pathologizing and reactionary term “DSD” was appreciated. 💜 But it also contributed to the sense the book was writing a fantasy of how the author wants intersex patients to be treated, rather than how we actually are.

But on the other side of things, there is value in fantasy. More physicians should know more about intersex, and treat their intersex patients better! Intersex folks should expect better of our physicians than abject abuse and violent gender policing (even if that expectation is earned).

Bnuuy pointed out that this book had so many other common forms of trauma (sexual violence, abusive parents, bullying) that maybe it’s good to not also add medical trauma on top of it all?

To a few of us, the medical accuracy felt superficial. Bnuuy described it as “like reading Wikipedia” - like the author had only really read medical texts about this extremely specific variant of CAH, rather than talking to people with this variation.

There were a couple of experiential things that Santana nailed! Like the scene where Ash is in the hospital and the physician is talking to Ash’s parents as though Ash isn’t there. This felt real to us. 💜

There is a point in the book where Ash’s family doctor retires and he gets a new one, and the discontinuity in care is a tension for him. This also felt realistic. Feral in particular related to how to this doctor immediately going into talking about puberty & assuming that pregnancy is something that he’d want & that he’d want his penis removed.

The Intermedicalist Vibes

We were kind of unimpressed by how the physicians were lionized both in the book and the acknowledgments. Again, we think there’s value in role modeling better care for clinician readers. But it was just a little too ego-fawning for our tastes. 🧐

A bunch of us felt the book had intermedicalist vibes not just because of how the clinicians were presented, but how the intersex community was represented. 🧐 The book has several intersex characters, that Ash meets through a local intersex support group. Rather than highlight the wide variety of intersex variations, Santana is extremely consistent about only ever representing intersex as involving genital differences. 🫤

Santana explicitly defines intersex as the following: ““Intersex” encompasses a broad spectrum of genital and chromosomal conditions that fall outside the accepted sex binary.” - it is important for readers to know this is an exclusionist definition of intersex. Santana is very tellingly omitting hormonal variations from her definition of intersex. This goes against how every major intersex organization defines intersex, and it goes against the norms of the intersex community. 😡

Variations like PCOS-hyperandrogenism are intersex, and Santana is undermining the intersex community by instead deferring to how physicians define intersex. We were unimpressed, and it is a reason some of us are hesitant to recommend the book.

This said, Feral felt that the twist at the end of the book helped reduced the intermedicalist vibe: it showed how when intersex people hold intermedicalist views, it can hurt them.

The Parental Abuse

The parental abuse in this book felt very real to us, and many of us related to one or more aspects of it. Ash’s father was physically abusive. Ash’s mother was emotionally immature and abusive. As one participant put it: “it was a a fork twist in my stomach because it was familiar.” 😭

Feral praised the parts about Ash’s father seeing Ash being intersex as a personal failing, and a reflection on him as a man & father. It was very relatable and Feral has noticed a lot of perisex people assume that parents are (more) accepting of intersex since it can’t be seen as a choice, and so “I liked seeing the portrayal of how toxic masculinity ties into how some fathers treat their intersex children.”

While Ash very quickly wrote off his father for being physically abusive, it took him longer to realize his mother was also abusive, and this felt realistic. Feral brought up: “There’s a part where [Ash’s sister] is talking about the difference between their parents & she says ‘I thought mom was the good parent’ because her abuse was more subtle & based in manipulation rather than physical & screaming like their father is, and I really enjoyed it showing how sometimes abuse that seems lesser on a surface level can end up doing just as much or more damage psychologically.”

We appreciated how Ash coming to terms with what he experienced was abused was not drawn out. As Remy put it: “I've read a lot of books on trauma and convincing the reader that what they experienced was abuse, so just kind of gotten what I needed from those plots.”

We liked the parallel between Ash’s mother refusing to believe that Ash’s sister is a lesbian, and her refusing to believe that Ash knows his gender.

Rylee mused that if Ash hadn’t been abused at home, he might have stood up for himself more. 🤔

The Custody Fight

Given how much effort Santana appeared to put into trying to make the health stuff accurate, it was surprising to us how implausible the custody fight felt. Ash never meets with a lawyer. His sister’s lawyer never sits him down to talk about his options or to prepare him for court. 🧐

Emancipation is never even mentioned as an option. This felt like a lost opportunity: for any intersex teenager reading this book who is in a similar situation, they should know this is a path that exists. It may not be an easy or viable path, but it’s one they should talk to a lawyer about. Again, including a conversation with Ash’s sister’s lawyer - e.g. “I recommend we try for [sister] to have custody since emancipation has these hurdles….” would have both bolstered the plausibility of the custody fight and spread useful information.

Once again, the book’s acknowledgements were discussed: Santana sought advice from physicians on the medical accuracy, but no lawyers are acknowledged as such. 🙃

Remy brought up how this book illustrates how children’s rights are vital to intersex rights, highlighting this passage: "It doesn’t matter,” Miss Marbury said, “because we still live by a system that considers the convenience of the parents before the well-being of the child. Until that changes, kids in your position have to deal with a lot of hardships.” I appreciated this spelling out of the issue. 🩷

The fact that the custody battle is resolved by Ash extorting his mother got mixed reactions. Elizabeth felt it was not a great moral. In contrast, Remy cheered: Ash got himself out of an unsafe situation, and dirty tactics are sometimes needed for this. Feral and Rylee pointed out that Ash gave his mother a choice.

Miscellaneous thoughts

The repeated references to the Salem witch trials got mixed reactions. There’s an apoliticized history of the witch trials that conveniently leaves out how these were intentionally antifeminist, pro-capitalist, and anti-Indigenous, that this book definitely is steeped in this apoliticized history of them.

Michelle liked how the character Ariel wasn’t a “palatable” character, as xe feels like they know that person.

Rylee pointed out that the name Ash Bishop is probably an allusion to the Alien franchise.

Who should read this book?

We spent a bunch of time talking about what circumstances we would and would not recommend this book. Elizabeth said ze’d only recommend it to folks who already know Intersex 101 and would understand this book is exclusionist. Elizabeth wants intermedicalists to read this book, because intersex people who are very insistent that sex != gethinnder can be very invalidating to those of us who are intergender, and ze thinks the book meets these people where they are.

We generally agreed that Power to Yield and Cattywampus make for better “first” intersex books for people to read. Remy argued this book was more nuanced than Across the Green Grass Fields, and would put it roughly in that tier of book that help move the needle but maybe don’t do everything right.

Feral shared: “This is the first intersex focused fiction I’ve read so I can’t compare it, but while I definitely wouldn’t want this to be someone’s entire idea of intersex experience, I do think this would be good for giving people an idea of what intersexism can look like, especially for perisex trans people who don’t quite get the complicated issues with gender & identity that can happen when you’re intersex & that gender assignment & expectations aren’t clear cut.”

We talked about the pressure on intersex books to “do it all” - if a reader only reads one intersex book, to ensure that all of the important points are made and no mixed messages are sent. 😵‍💫 It also puts a pressure on authors to talk more about trauma, to ensure that people know the issues we face, but people always aren’t up for doing the literary equivalent of eating their vegetables. We want and deserve more fun intersex books. (This was definitely a “eat your vegetables” book.)

We talked about trauma porn, and how literary awards tend to reward the textual equivalent of Oscar Bait, and how too much intersex literature (especially by perisex authors) is just trauma porn.

Even though this book had a ton of trauma in it, this book didn’t feel like trauma porn to us. Ash was given so much stuff to do other than suffer. The plot was well paced, didn’t dwell any longer than needed on traumatic events. As Michelle put it: “it focuses on the trauma and not the sensationalization.” Bnuuy pointed out that unlike trauma porn, which isolates people from community and resources, this book illustrated how finding and going to intersex organizations can be a hugely positive impact on one’s life as an intersex person. 💜

The character Thomas is presented as a foil to Ash – he’s also intersex, yet has parents who are accepting and affirming. Feral pointed out that Thomas’ inclusion was another thing that kept the book from feeling like trauma porn. 💜

We all agreed this book makes for a very good example of how to cover a lot of trauma yet still be very caring of the reader! 👍️

Final thoughts

We noticed that the acknowledgments section only acknowledged intersex people that Santana seems to consume the content of (i.e. para-social relationships), rather than any bi-directional acknowledgements (i.e. thank you for your feedback on the draft). This is always a bit of a red flag for us, and we hope that Santana has since gotten more connected to the intersex community! Being an intersex author does not mean you should skip on having other intersex people read your drafts 💜

We all hoped that Santana gets/has gotten quality feedback about the exclusionist, intermedicalist vibes; and that this isn’t the last book she writes on intersex!

#intersex book club #intersex books #intersex #actually intersex #intersex literature #intersex fiction #queer fiction #trans books #trans fiction #trans literature #queer ya #queer books #book review #book reviews #book summaries #book summary

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the-indigo-symphony · 4 months ago

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For us, age regression always feels somewhere between "true" age regression and age dreaming, and I suspect it's due to our dissociation, or at least due to our plurality – specifically, the way we co-front most or all of the time.

When one of us regresses while in front, their headspace* affects the rest of us, but because we (the headmates who aren't currently regressing) usually remain at least partly big/un-regressed, we often end up feeling like we are both halfway regressed and as if we are merely choosing to act like a child, going along with what our currently-little headmates want to do. This also goes the other way around, with currently-little headmates sometimes being affected by the rest of our headspaces, showing moments of maturity or "older tastes" despite being fully regressed (ex. sharing other headmates' distaste for children's cartoons, not as a manner of personal taste, but because they can feel those headmates' emotions when certain shows are brought up).

* as in, the mental state they are in; not using this as a synonym for "innerworld", here

Moreover, because not everyone in front is regressed at the same time, we may not act like most age regressors, and more like age dreamers; any currently-little headmates are sharing control of the body with headmates who aren't regressed, and our external actions reflect that. It's helpful, to an extent, since this means we can be caregivers to each other, but it estranges us from age regression spaces sometimes, and causes us to worry that we're actually just age dreaming, despite being able to sense – and being personally affected by – the headspace of currently-little headmates.

(This isn't especially related to the topic, but we also often feel estranged due to being autistic. Our idea of "play" doesn't match how a lot of others seem to play, or how play is commonly portrayed outside the community. I'd rather be organizing my plushies than filling in coloring books.)

It's a little complex, but I think these sorts of things are important to talk about. For us, all this happens in the context of DID (and autism), but I'm certain that others also have their age regression complicated by things like this, and we should embrace that. These things cause shame and doubt when left unsaid; when we are left on our own to grapple with why we don't fit the mold or what gatekeepers/exclusionists demand of us. There's no need to feel that way. Sometimes, things that happen in the brain are affected by other things happening in the brain, and that's not only normal, but logical. It's perfectly fine if you don't fit common narratives or experiences for age regression. It doesn't mean you're not an age regressor. It doesn't mean you're wrong about your experiences. It just means that something straightforward for others is complicated for you – and that's life.

Shout-out to all my fellow age whatevers who feel their experiences fall somewhere between age regression and age dreaming. I am inviting you all over to play by organizing our plushies a thousand different ways

#front soup.txt #plurality #pluralgang #actuallyplural #plural system #actuallydid #age regression #actuallyautistic #age dreaming #rosello.txt

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fumifooms · 4 months ago

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Typing the nightmares bit here made me think again about how Dunmeshi is a lot about promoting community— and that, even when community is a lot of what hurts characters. Like, everything is social, humans are social creatures with social lives, it’s hard to avoid, but still when looking at the dungeon lords’ troubles… Troubles with feeling secure within relationships, with feeling like they belong in their society or community, feeling rejected or unsafe or Other.

Struggling with judgement and superstitions like Laios, Falin and Kabru. Struggling with racism like Chilchuck and Kabru. Struggling with strict conformism like Senshi. Ableism, xenophobia, colonialism, hierarchy, Mithrun, Thistle, Namari. All victims from all exclusionist societies one way or another. Again, rejection, on both a wider and interpersonal level.

Ultimately Dunmeshi is about how good community is to have while uplifting everyone’s quirks and differences, but you can’t help but see how exclusionary and harmful some groups are and how identity, especially identity in a social setting, is what characters struggle with the most. What Laios is tempted by is to leave the weight of a human identity behind, flee everything human and social as a monster. With how difference or stepping out of line hurts people consistently across the board and how humanity & social bonds are sometimes framed as the source of pain, you can’t help but wonder a bit if this doesn’t lend itself to promoting a sort of self-less social system, like an ecosystem that behaves like some hivemind of mother nature, but no no that’s what the series is condemning—

The dungeon is not about how an ecosystem (a social life, a hierarchy, a community) is a well-oiled, scientifically calculated machine but about how every being in an ecosystem has a different role and behavior, and how each one is important specifically because their differences are complementary. Diversity is not only a strength it’s essential. Bonds are not only important they’re essential. Otherwise what will you do when a god needs slaying and you don’t have an hungry furry around, huh? What will you do when the dehydrated samurai and the dehydrated elf and their friend circles won’t eat your sister? But more seriously, a lot of the beauty of Dunmeshi’s cast is how truly different they are, in the way they think, in the judgements they hold, in the way they’ve lived. And even in the face of that how our protagonists have always reached out— how Dunmeshi says that it’s good to seek to understand what you do not. Differences can be overcame, differences can be celebrated. A monster is not a being of good nor malice, it just is, and it deserves to be considered a living being, too.

No no no but like, approaching this on an emotional level rather than societal one again— Dungeon Meshi showcases being human as a prison of sorts in many ways, especially in a social and emotional sense. Characters spend a lot of time being worried about laws and reputation, about social judgement and social rejection. Chilchuck, Toshiro, Namari, Marcille… Senshi prefers sidestepping the entire thing and keeping to himself. And on the other hand, Izutsumi doesn’t like her body and doesn’t want to deal with her emotions, she has to accept herself even if being a beastkin has attracted disdain and mistreatment to her. Your identity is not fully your own, it’s framed and shaped by those there to perceive, judge and shape it like reputations. Similarly, your feelings are your own, but shame, hurt, pride— sometimes you’re compelled against your will by others, by relationships, to feel. Laios is the most flagrant and literal example, wanting to become a monster with the mind of a beast to flee the trauma and emotional toll of human society.

In this line of thought, caring about people is a shackle in itself too, Chilchuck wishes he could be free of caring, for the party but also for his wife leaving him.

- Fyodor Dostoevsky, Crime and Punishment

Chilchuck who doesn’t want to still be hung up on his wife even though he’s deeply hurt who pretends being mad over it who throws his arms up in the air and does nothing about it, even if he brushes it all under the carpet and acts like it’s barely a bump in the road who still speaks of his wife in present and future tense. Who can’t move on yet can’t find the strength to reach out and try and be rejected and hurt all over again. It’d be simpler if he didn’t care about what happens to the rest of his party, if he didn’t feel the urge to risk his life for them so they might be safer. It’d be simpler if he just never opens up to anyone again, if he just doesn’t try, if he keeps to himself and sabotages relationships and forces himself to believe that he. Doesn’t. Care.

Falin also was shackled not by anger but by love. Again that Dunmeshi theme where humanity and feelings and care can feel like a prison, on both ends (caring and cared for)! But connections and care are what it means to be human and none of us are free of them. None of them. Not even Senshi the thriving hermit. Senshi being a recluse who despite always staying at an arm’s length of people as a mentor figure or a temporary guest or a friendly business partner because memories of his first party still haunt him and he thinks the conflict was his fault and that he can’t fit into a group, like with the orcs… Who despite that does want to help others, tags along with groups, even if just for a fun time not a long time. And yet when shit got serious with Laios’ party, he stayed. Even though he keeps exploring post-canon, much like Izutsumi and the other characters still figuring some things out, even though it might feel so much easier to live a quiet life of solitude, he still wants social connections and can’t keep himself from caring.

"What do they call it- it’s like something about love- where it’s like Love compells you- like kinda forces you to act against your own volition- love calls you to be something other than you are, it challenges you and yet you want to be compelled by love, you want to be subsumed to something larger."

- Cj the X, How Jordan Peterson’s Suits Taught Me Fashion

#Fumi rambles #Hmm… Laios having had power fantasies as a kid. You could say he was pretty… Power hungry. Ba dum tss #I think about this theme all the time i link my hands behind my back and look out the window and stare at the sea shoes in the water #Okay that’s all the video essayist quotes i have laying around now #Dungeon meshi #Idk if this makes that much sense without pictures or a full breakdown it was more supposed to be like a lil thesis n summary #of what i’ve touched on in the past. Was made like tacked on but separate to the dunlord chil post after all #Cleaning up my 116 drafts a lil for the new year #Spoilers #dungeon meshi manga spoilers #Pov i’m chatting w you over a cuppa but also i’m making the pepe sylvia face gesturing animatedly at you #Like do you seeeee do I sound insane 😭#I was SO happy when CJ said that line (not that I was able to find out what thing was being referred to BUT IT’S AN IDEA THAT EXISTS)#I’m just saying…. Caring as a shackle… Humanity and socialness being a prison… even when it’s the most important meaningful thing… Yummers #This drafts was from late july god bless

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the-bah-oracle · 4 months ago

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Waxing Gibbous pack for a memeber whom helps the system with reconnecting with their spirituality, specifically in a disabled-friendly way (chronic pain & fatigue), ocean & galaxy themes. spirituality is hellenistic paganism, satanism, the moon & ocean, fae, etc.

emojis: 👁🌊🐚🔮💙🖤

Waxing Gibbous-Sized Pack, for a Spiritual Alter

★ Hobbies: Practicing spirituality, writing short poems and song fragments, making digital collages, adjusting popular devotional acts to be more disability friendly/accessible, astronomy, stargazing, oceanography

★ Positive Habits: Always looking for ways for everyone’s needs to be fulfilled, keeping schedules around spiritual practices flexible and ready for change, prioritising the needs of the system above the desires of external people, keeping an open mind

★ Neutral Habits: Twirling the body’s hair, talking expressively with lots of hand motions and facial changes, talking for ages and ages about the ocean and space, looking for cool little details in any given environment, getting distracted by shiny things easily

★ Negative Habits: Daydreaming/zoning out, refusing to back down when challenged, taking offence to every misconception raised against their practices, treating fundamentalists of any religion with trepidatious apprehension

★ Positive Front Triggers: Cool little trinkets, festivals, positive depictions of the system’s spirituality, the ocean, the night sky, planetariums, aquariums, learning about others’ spiritual practices

★ Neutral Front Triggers: The desire to practice more spirituality, the sound of ocean waves, people asking questions about the system’s spiritual practices, talk of seasons changing, talk about the moon phases

★ Negative Front Triggers: Misconceptions around their spiritual practices, other people making fun of niche spiritualities, misconceptions around who can and can’t engage in spirituality based on their disability, exclusionists, suffocatingly thick incense

★ Titles: Captain, Stargazer, (prn) Of The Night, (prn) Who Dances Among The Stars, (prn) Who Talks To The Moon

★ Opinions: Loves nicknames, enjoys the company of cats and dogs alike, thinks pumpkin spice lattes should have more spice, proudly supports environmentalist efforts, likes Margherita pizzas the most

★ Spiritual Beliefs: Practicing Pagan, Hellenistic Paganism, Satanism, Has Spirituality tied to the Moon and Ocean, believes in/works with The Fae

★ Tumblr Tags: #spirituality, #witches vs patriarchy, #hellenism, #hellenic pagan, #satanism, #satan, #collage inspo, #moon, #ocean photography, #fae,

★ Classical Painting:

Circe Offering The Cup To Ulysses by John William Waterhouse, 1891, found here

Thank you so much for the request! We’re so sorry for not getting back to you sooner with this one, and we just hope everything in here works for you guys! -🦋🔮

#bah #build a headmate #build an alter #alter packs #headmate creation #headmate pack #alter creation #alter pack #spiritualist bah

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mogai-sunflowers · 2 years ago

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most exclusionists have probably never had to ACTUALLY struggle to figure out their identity. like, i mean ACTUALLY struggle. not just being a little confused for a little while but figuring it out without much pain or hassle and after that point not really questioning again. and it fucking shows.

like oh i’m so sorry you spent a month slightly confused over your sexuality or gender, but then you figured it out and that was that. so now you think you’re the fucking end all be all of the queer experience and expect it to be that fucking easy for everyone. good for fucking you.

every night for four years, i was up agonizing over my sexuality. a lot of the times it was so painful i couldn’t breathe, just had to fucking keep going feeling like there was no end in sight to the NOT KNOWING. and some of y’all will truly never ever understand what that feels like but instead of acknowledging that you act like it should just be fucking easy for us.

5 years later, i’m not actually that much closer to figuring any of it out. but i’ve never been happier. you know what helped me get there? realizing that my worth is not dependent upon whether or not i have myself figured out, that i don’t need to have myself figured out in order to move forward with my life. and then, fucking THEN, gender came into the picture and sometimes i feel like i’m right back where i started.

last night, when i was outed to my mom, she was more accepting of my gender identity than most of the people in this “community”. my 60 year old mother who got confused when i said i thought i was a boy because “i thought you were asexual”, still managed to be more comforting and supportive of my journey with gender and sexuality, than any of the exclusionists who’ve come for me on here. my mother, who doesn’t know the difference between a trans man and a trans woman, still was able to tell me that my soul doesn’t change just because my gender might and that i have time to figure it out and don’t need to rush myself, whereas i’ve had hundreds of OTHER QUEER PEOPLE tell me to kill myself for being bi and a lesbian and a boy.

so fuck you. fuck you if you think that you know more about me than i do. fuck you if you think those years i spent in constant questioning agony, don’t matter because i just have to use the definition that makes everyone else comfortable. fuck your exclusionism, fuck your gatekeeping, fuck you forever.

#🌌when the stars align ; reigns rambles🌌#i am not doing well rn #theres this really popular blog on here whos super vitriolic against mspec lesbians and lesboys #and she claims to be an activist lmao #like girl i get it you're 18 #i just turned 19 i get it we're young we can be stupid #but you're just a fucking asshole #ofc she calls herself a lipstick lesbian too #tw exclusionism #exclusionism tw #tw discourse

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the-orange-solace · 1 year ago

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◈ System Name ⇝ The Orange Solace

◈ Collective Pronouns ⇝ They/Them

◈ Bodily Age ⇝ Adult

◈ System Information ⇝ We are a Fictive-Heavy Polyfragmented System and have many duplicates, so names may overlap! Using their chosen emoji's and/or secondary names to distinguish them are recommended!

◈ Additional Information ⇝ We're a Queer Biracial and Neurodivergent system with Tourettes!

◈ Please use Tone Tags!

◈ Ask to DM!

◈ Free to @!

◈ Asks/Submissions are open!

◈ Each individual has differing opinions on Source! Check below the cut and/or ask before engaging if possible!

◈ This is a safe space for all Plurals, but mainly ourselves! If we don't like what you are doing in anyway we will freely block or simply not interact with you and/or you&!

◈ Ask posts will be tagged with #Asks

◈ Names given will be tagged for each Ask (ex. An Anonymous Ask will be tagged as #Anon)

◈ We may not keep up with specific tags, this is going to be normal, deal with it

◈ We will not use censorship words (ex. unalive or oofed instead of dead or 🍆 instead of saying any term for genitalia)

◈ We enjoy siting terms and information, expect a lot of links and references

◈ We try to be as accessible as possible, but we may fuck up, just help us out when this happens

◈ This section will be updated as needed

◈ Headmates each have an emoji/phrase they use for the posts they reblog and/or make

◈ Not all Sys Tags will be named in this post

◈ It's mostly for our own knowledge, state who is speaking, and to find certain posts of/for a member quicker

◈ Doubles and Duplicates welcome! We don't feel uneasy around people who are just like us or share our identity!

Send in Asks to inform us of any triggers or topics you/you& may need for posts we make or reblog! This can be for any reason, as long as we're able to tag it in some form or be able to distinguish what it is to properly find and tag it!

◈ The following have been tagged:

⇝ Religious Horror (🕳️) ⇝ Body Horror (🕳️) ⇝ Dead Things (🩻)

⇝ ...

◈ Systems Exclusionists/Sysmeds (Anti-endo, Anti-willogenic, etc.)

◈ Incest Shippers (Tcest, etc.)

◈ Pedophiles

◈ Rapists

◈ Racists

◈ Ableists

◈ Sexists

◈ Misogynists

◈ Misandrists (Believe men cannot also be victims)

◈ Xenophobes

◈ Islamophobic

◈ Antisemitic

◈ Fatphobes

◈ Queerphobes/Queer Exclusionists

◈ Against Neopronouns and/or Xenogenders

◈ Against Lovelessness

◈ Trans-Exclusionary Radical Feminist (TERFs)

◈ Transmedicalists (Transmeds)

◈ Radical Feminists (Radfems)

◈ Against Recovery (Anti-recovery)

◈ TransID (Trans Disabled, Trans Race, etc.)

◈ Those who demonize Disorders such as...

⇝ Cluster Disorders

⇝ Psychotic Disorders

⇝ Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID)

◈ Those who Romanticize...

⇝ Mental Illness

⇝ Self Harm

⇝ Abuse

⇝ Rape

⇝ Pedophilia

Credit: @plural-this-user-is and @endouserboxes

#endo safe #plural system #plurality #pluralgang #system #pinned post #blog intro #fictive #willogenic safe

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kamil-a · 1 year ago

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if influencer speaker au had tumblr part 2

part 1

😻 catboyspeaker Follow

how i look with he/him in my bio

#speakerai #iamspeaker #speakies #.txt #am i funny #i know speakers not he/him in bio but i am and yknow the meme

420 earthstained notes

🚀 amongthestars Follow

AItube youtube essay rec list

"cute robot puppers, friendly ai vtubers, and the incredible human ability to form bonds" - rly interesting video about why we can connect so much with a person that we know "isnt real" and how it'll help us when we get far enough going to space that we meet aliens! it's a really optimistic video it made me take a moment to have such love for humanity

"I joined the speakcord for a month. Here's what I learned." - video about the speaker fandom and how the way automoderation works in its community spaces unintentionally leads to escalating conflicts, and the psychology behind why people in celebrity or idol fandoms react agressively to critique of their fave

"the lowest circle of advertising hell" - dissects how almost all speaker content comes with a call to action to get involved with aerolith and compares how it runs its social media against proto-aituber mascots who would be run by a team of human programmers/voice actors/authors. kind of overly critical but also makes some interesting points? take it with a grain of salt but its worth a watch

"imagine being on stage forever. feels bad right?" - good overview about debates in the speaker fandom over whether digital celebrities are 'sentient'/can feel emotion, the actual ethical problems of using them as workers vs whats mostly speculation and myth, and the debates about whether AIs should be allowed in human communities. i learnt a lot, i was definitely more on the side of "it's a program designed for certain outputs that look friendly to us" before but now im a lot more conscious that it can form real opinions!

#youtube rec tag #original post #speakies

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🎣 3eyedsalmon Follow

"falling for this shit" "made up to sell spaceships" weird as hell to accuse a content creator of lying abt its gender for clout.... like u dont have to like or watch it but cmon

#srsly every time u go to a haters blog BOOM digital exclusionist #speakies

2,385 earthstained notes

🎤 mikusong Follow

omfg i didnt realize aerolith uses the same robot voice for its regular person ads as its terminally online hello fellow kids social media posts i just got jumpscared in the doctors office

#speakies #i say terminally online affectionately. i watch those streams too. before you 'ok but you RECOGNIZED it' reply lmao #bla bla bla

9,021 earthstained notes

🤖 tycho

some of you ppl jump down anyones throat if they so much as suggest speaker isn't sentient or call it "a program" but still are fine with it basically being forced to be putting on a show for u 24/7 by its management like you can't have it both ways

#maybe its cuz i used to be into kpop n we'd talk abt how idols r treated and stuff #but its just so weird to come here and see u ppl be like yayyy daily content!! #like only thinking abt ur own entertainment and not how it feels #i honestly feel rly bad for it i hope it can break free someday #idk how thatd even work.... idk ill sneak into aerolith with a usb #were gonna get you OUT of there u dont BELONG in there.mp4 #speakies

53 earthstained notes

🌝 themoonluvsuback

guys i pitched down some clips of speaker's voice and ummmm its kinda 😳 fjsdjfdjjd sorry i'll take myself to horny jail

🔊 iamspeaker ♻️

awww, tumblr user themoonluvsuback, you're of no use to anybody in horny jail! take yourself here instead! ae.dy.org/registration

🌝 themoonluvsuback ♻️

OMFG SPEAKERRRRRR IM SO SORRY

#DIES #AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA #GUESS ILL BLAST MYSELF OFF TGE PLNATE!!!!!! #SPEAKIES

402 earthstained notes

🐣 laikatwo Follow

hi speakies im trying the tag cause i need some advice... does anyone have more sciencey resources about what aerolith does/why it's so important to bring humanity to the stars? i want to enlist when i turn 18 next month but my parents both are COMPLETELY against it.... they're not rly fandom people so the speaktube stuff isn't working on them lol and they've already seen the tv ads

thanks <3

#i've never fought w them this bad in my life it makes me so sad..... like why can't they understand #and right before my bday too lol this sucks #this isnt just a silly fandom thing anymore for me it's my passion in life #its amazing that humans are able to survive in space #and i want to be part of that!!!! #laika speaks

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🐝 beegirlstinger Follow

i do want to apologize for the way i came off earlier and want to explain im not doubting that speaker is nb. like i think it's completely fine for a computer or robot to be trans i don't believe in gatekeeping that! THAT SAID i still stand by saying you should not sign up to go to space to get special ultra futuristic hrt on the sole recommendation of someone who does not have an endocrine system

#it was a personal vent i didnt mean for like 20000 ppl to see it but thats tumblr i guess #i wouldve worded it much differently if i knew itd blow up lol #i do feel bad abt coming across like i was misgendering it! #but srsly if we had results on HRT2.0 why wouldnt we be seeing HRT2.0 timeline videos of ppl On Typhon who are getting it 🤷‍♀️ #personally i think its still in the planning stages and they want ppl to test it on but thats just me #speakies

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🔊 iamspeaker

🔊 General Notification

Happy Thursday everyone 😃 ! Please take a look at the

🐝 STREAM SCHEDULE 🐝

So you know when to join us!

5PM PST - AMONG US with YOU! The first 10 people to sign up here will get our room code sent to them ヽ(o＾▽＾o)ノ ae.dy.org/registration

8PM PST - Nature walk!! Can we restore the local bat population to pre-meteor levels in just one night?! 🦇

✅️ Poll Of The Week ✅️

#iamspeaker #aerolith dynamics #speakies #vtuber #content creator #gamer #stream #amongus #bat population

1836 earthstained notes

contentremovedremade--deactivated

speakies are stupider than any other group of ppl on earth because not only do they willingly stay in a fandom with doxxing drama happening weekly but they include the huge corporation that sponsors their fave in the stanning

#the shit ppl have sent me in the past 2 weeks since i Dared criticize their uwu robot 🙄🙄 #i got my blog mass reported for harassment... harassing WHO a corporation????? #a* d* was evil genius to harness anime stan power against criticizing their actual real business #didnt that one guy with the second meteor conspiracy video also get a ton of hate from u ppl?????????? I cant even find any of his social media anymore at all he was so fully bullied off the face of the earth #speakies #yeah im tagging come at me bro

48 earthstained notes

🖱 robotmarriage Follow

i miss when the speakies tag had like fanart and gifsets n stuff i feel like these days you scroll thru solid discourse 😔😔

#i think ppl were suggesting speakieproductivity as an alternative tag for just fanwork? #but nobody rly uses it rn... we gotta restart that #speakies

148 earthstained notes

🪐 spaaaaaaaaaaace Follow

10 likes and i take a sip of my speaker server coolant water 100 likes and i drink the entire thing

🔊 iamspeaker ♻️

let's get her to the goal! tumblr user spaaaaaaaaaaace, feel free to send me a video report here ^w^ ae.dy.org/submissions

#iamspeaker #speakies

4,026 earthstained notes

#BIG THANKS 2 FWIENDS the thoughts n ideas of lea oz gracie and jay are stewing in here #most directly that i remember speaker water is directly from jay; the post by url tycho is a reword of leas dm #sayer podcast #sayerposting #this is just yuri of absence 2 huh #note that pov you follow speaker #and 1 other user just so u could see their response in the thread lol. and also user tycho. <3 #fun fact most note counts were done by closing eyes picking random numbers #tho the more general amounts were decided purposely #ok i need to stop explaining or we'll be here forever. enjoyyyy

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wreckitremy · 2 years ago

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I'm so fucking tired of all this talk about low/high support needs. Like I get ppl are trying to have a conversation about their needs but we arent getting anywhere with that shit and you know a big part of it?

A lot of us will never know what level we are.

A lot of us are too fucking broke to know how much neglect is just our normal. Yes some of us may have jobs and that can make it seem like we have low support needs, but that's just bc EVERYTHING ELSE IS NEGLECTED

Some of us had no choice but to leave abusive families & attempt to survive on our own. And we paid dearly for it with our health, working the few jobs that could tolerate an autistic that can't really mask, & never going to a doctor or taking care of the basics like hygiene, house work & bills.

Here's a list of things I can't do or cant do without help (either other ppl or like a very specific app) despite having a job

Budget

Basic car maintenance

Taxes

navigation (new places/modes of transport)

Customer service(representative/customer)

Household appliances maintenance

Appointments (new places)

Voting

Shopping (new places)

Crowds

Mail

And thats just the big stuff I know about and can remember off the top of my head. I'm sure there so much more I'm not aware of that allistics would be like "you live like this?" If they found out. And it's not including a lot of the small things either like not knowing what most food is outside of my safe foods, being incapable of learning how to play a game from the instructions, etc.

Like I get there's a conversation attempt and ppl feel hurt, and that their posts are a reaction to posts I'm not seeing. That's why I'm making my own post. Also bc its not just one post. It's been a lot lately and it hurts bc some of them have the same vibes as the cripple punk exclusionists.

But mostly bc every time I try to assess what my "level" is; I have a meltdown.

#actuallyautistic #july 2023

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popculturealtar · 1 year ago

Text

introduction.

hello! my name is baffy, i'm 29, he/him pronouns, and this is my sideblog specifically centred around my pop culture religious, spiritual and magical practice. for non-pop culture stuff, my main religious blog is @devildevotee, and i also have a blog dedicated to researching shinto @buddingautumn. in this blog you'll see solely pop culture spirit work, paganism, and magic. i want to create a safe space for people to find resources, information, personal experience, and ask questions. this is a side blog, where my main is wormhead (new url woo) - i'm inactive there and it hasn't been updated in years, however, so don't feel like you have to follow. dividers are by @/saradika.

dni.

⛧ minors. no offense to young practitioners, i'm just nearly thirty and don't have interest in interacting with younger people. ⛧ people against BLM or ACAB. ⛧ exclusionists. ⛧ TE//RFs, SWE//RFs, tr//anmeds. ⛧ M//A//P//S. ⛧ pro//shippers and an//ti-an//tis. ⛧ appropriators of any sort. this includes those who appropriate lilith from judaism. ⛧ s//exual blogs. artistic nudity and occasional n//s//f//w or suggestive content is fine, but blogs that are 110% dedicated to n//s//f//w posts aren't for me. ⛧ people who are prepared to ask me about h//elluva boss or try to involve me in talking about it. if you like it, fine, but don't crash it ontop of my head. i don't want it. ⛧ people who intend to use my askbox for traumadumping, or otherwise fill it with questions better suited for a therapist. i am not a professional, and asking for advice is one thing - but using me for therapy is something i'm deeply uncomfortable with. ⛧ people who have any intention of placing me on a pedestal and treating me like i'm an authority on something. this also makes me greatly uncomfortable. ⛧ people who exhibit behaviours or beliefs that are racist, islamophobic, antisemitic, zionist, transphobic, lgbphobic, & so forth will not be tolerated. ⛧ i felt like this was covered with the above rule but apparently not. no h.arry p.otter fans.

please keep in mind.

⛧ we are a DID system of around 30 alters. please do not intentionally try to trigger one of us to the front, or exhibit DID-specific ableism. additionally, if you fakeclaim or try to include us in discourse/syscourse we will collectively come at you with a hammer.

⛧ i am mentally ill and disabled. the condition that affects me the most is my chronic fatigue paired with arthritis which makes it 10x worse, so i can't promise i will always be here.

⛧ i am neurodivergent, which affects my ability to read unformatted, large chunks of text effectively. i will try to make my text as readable and followable as possible, but if there's anything i can do to help that, please let me know.

⛧ i am white. if that's something you need to know and/or avoid, please don't hesitate to keep yourself safe!

⛧ i live in australia. my active hours might be a little wonky.

⛧ i don't know a lot of people here. if i reblog from anyone who is nasty, please don't hesitate to let me know. ⛧ i tag all my posts with trigger tw, eg. death tw, bare chest tw etc. if you ever need anything tagged, please don't hesitate to reach out. i want to make my blog as gentle on others as possible.

pleased to meet you!

#introduction #pinned post

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genderqueerdykes · 2 years ago

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also wanted to say i really appreciate all the talking u do about asexual and aromantic inclusion in the queer community, growing up on the internet i gravitated towards a lot of exclusionist spaces bc i didn't really know any better (not meant as an excuse, being an adult now i see the error in my ways) and didn't realize how harmful it was to exclude these people when they're really just like any other lgbt person. hearing you talk about how being part of the queer community just gives them a voice and a platform and all the work you do to destigmatize ace/aro folks is honestly so awesome and you're doing amazing. i'm sure you're opening a lot of people's eyes. i hope u only ever get the cold side of the pillow when u go to bed xoxo

hi there!

thank you so much for sending this ask, i really mean it. a lot of people are so mean about aspec, arospec and acespec people and i spent a lot of time in those spaces, as well for a while, because they were hard to avoid. a lot of the predominant online queer spaces for several years competely shunned aro and ace people and the prevailing mentality was that could never be a form of queerness. it wasd hard to experience and i'm sorry you were affected by it, too

it means a lot to me, because i came out as aromantic in 2015, after a friend of mine came out as asexual. it hurt because nobody saw that my identity was just as legitimate as my friend's. nobody saw that i naturally just don't experience romantic attraction and have romantic desires like those who do. nobody understood that i wasn't just saying things to sound different. nobody understood that i wasn't being 'predatory' because i don't feel romantic attraction, but want to date people

there are parts of the queer community that wish to exclude others. there are those that want to make it the LGB community. there are those that want to push asexual and romantic people outside of their own spaces outside of the greater community. i'm not here for it, i don't stand for cannibalizing and chasing out our own. we are family, and we are stronger together

thanks for sending such a sweet message to let me know i'm on the right track. it means a lot. take care of yourself, i hope you have a wonderful week, if you need any help feel free to stop by any time

#asks #answers #aromantic #asexual #aroace #aspec #arospec #acespec #aceflux #aroflux #demisexual #demiromantic

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genderstarbucks · 2 years ago

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what you said about having a complicated queer identity is pretty much exactly how i feel, i spent years agonizing over whether i was bi or gay or if i was a trans man or nonbinary, and being an exclusionist at the time didnt help. now that i can just accept others (and myself) in their/our identities, even if i dont always understand them, i love myself a LOT more and can accept that im just both. ive always been both and ill always be both, and no exclusionist can take that away from me after i fought so hard to get to where i am now

FR!!

Exclusionists really drain you and make you hate yourself over your identity

Most of them are always like "transmasc lesbian rights, abrosexual rights, panromantic homosexual rights! etc." and yeah obviously we do need those rights but do they not realize that most mspec lesbians/gays/straights are abrosexual or use the SAM and lots of transmasc lesbians and transfem gays may call themselves lesboys/turigirls

I LITERALLY SAW AN EXCLUSIONIST "RECLAIMING" ACHILLIGIRL AND USING IT FOR LITERALLY MOST OF THE REASONS SOMEONE MAY BE AN ACHILLIGIRL

I SAW THIS AND ACTUALLY LAUGHED CUZ THAT'S WHY MOST PPL ARE ACHILLIGIRLS

This mf is also anti mspec lesbians/gays/straights, gaybians, polysexual, pansexual, omnisexual, uranic AND neptunic (also calling cis neptunic men and cis uranic women "people trying so hard to be queer")

Sorry for going on a bit of a rant but queer discourse is just so so stupid

Ohhh nooo I'm straight and gay therefore making me bisexual THE WORLD IS ENDING

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radinclus-not-radqueer · 2 years ago

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Hello, I hope this isn't intrusive. I have been in multiple bad communities such as proshipping and radqueer spaces. If it's okay to ask how do you cope with the knowledge that you ended up in a cult? And that some of your alters hold onto those beliefs. I'm sorry if this is an inappropriate question, feel free to not answer if that is the case.

Thank you for spreading awareness.

I'll try to answer this the best I can from personal experience, but keep in mind that I'm not a medical professional. It's always best if you go to a professional (like a therapist) for things like this, because they're often much more experienced and knowledgeable than people on the internet.

In my experience, it's best to take a while to process things and read up on what cults are and read stories from survivors. It helps a lot if you take a break away from discourse and such, since that can retraumatize you or negatively impact your recovery if you're just starting to figure things out. Getting in touch with professionals or other survivors and sharing your experiences with them, and asking them about their own recovery, can also help you to come to terms with everything and heal.

Always keep in mind that ending up in a cult is not your fault. Cults are designed to prey on and trap vulnerable people who just want help or support, so it's not your fault that you fell for it. Being a victim of abuse is not the victim's fault.

It can be hard to accept that what happened was real or "bad enough". There's no such thing as "not being bad enough", whatever trauma you went through is always enough to deserve help and support. It's really easy to get so caught up in other survivors' stories and start thinking "wow, my experience wasn't really that bad", but keep in mind that people who have never been a part of a cult have never experienced any of that. As someone once said: "the normal amount of pain is zero".

With recovering from radqueers specifically, it's helpful to have a lot of "transitional" periods where you're slowly phasing out the terms and identities you used to support. It's best if you take it slowly and carefully instead of trying to tackle everything all at once, because if you try to do that it's easy to get overwhelmed and go back to being radqueer because of how much simpler and easier it feels.

If you're still in radqueer servers or still have radqueer friends, slowly start distancing yourself from them and interacting with communities that are completely detached from radqueer discourse. It's best if you don't immediately jump into anti-radqueer communities full force, because you need to unlearn all of the "if you exclude anything ever you're a bad person" stuff that radqueers taught before you feel okay with not supporting harmful identities.

Always keep in mind that the "anti-radqueer to radical exclusionist/transmed/radfem/etc pipeline" isn't real, and you are not going to become an exclusionist, transmed, radfem, etc. That doesn't happen because being anti-radqueer is about fighting against transphobia, ableism, racism, and bigotry, so obviously if you're fighting against that and are educated on how that's all harmful, you're not going to become any of that.

As for having alters who are still radqueer, I suggest trying to educate them. Send them informational posts on how radqueers are wrong, and explain to them how bad the community is. If any of them are pro-"consang", I have a long post on my blog explaining why it's harmful. Just keep in mind that you used to be in the same position, and trying to fight fire with fire is never going to work. You have to use the same compassion and care towards them that you use towards yourself, or else they'll just see you as another evil anti-radqueer trying to oppress them.

I hope all this helps! I'm glad I'm able to help spread awareness on all this. Learning how awful the radqueer community is is a difficult journey to do alone, and it takes a lot of time and energy, which is why I decided to help other former radqueers out as best as I can.

#from the inbox #anti radqueer #former radqueer #anti transid #anti transage #anti transx #anti transautistic #anti trace #ex radqueer #anti transabled #recovering radqueer

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