#except they had to stop it because to ALLOW it would bring the tragedy

[sage-nebula]

And once more, as we always do, tumblr returns to its Supernatural roots.

horror is always like oh no they're possessed by a demon well what about possessed by an angel? angelic possession is also horror.

[ludiharambasha]

I don't like it when people talk about the hypothetical scenario in which Kakashi actually listens to Sasuke and helps him get revenge, as it is utterly pointless in many ways.

I generally think it is pointless to think in terms of what-ifs when analyzing stories, because, well, you get a completely different one in most cases (there are exceptions, such as when the change would not drastically alter the themes). When you change key aspects of the story such as Sasuke's decision to leave Konoha, you completely change the themes the story carries, as Sasuke is the main carrier of Naruto's themes.

When you say that Sasuke may not have left Konoha had Kakashi offered him to help him get revenge on Itachi you ignore the fact that narratives ought to be read in their entirety and full context rather than in isolated units. You ignore that Sasuke is meant to react to the injustice of the makeup of the whole world rather than just stop at what happened to his clan. His arc neatly goes from dealing with the specific moving on to the general, and his personal involvement motivates him to pursue his goals in the story on both of these levels. What happened to him is not a grave tragedy that happened in isolation but something that is bound to happen in a world as cruel as the one he inhabits. Sasuke is the one who wants to bring a global revolution to the shinobi system precisely because he is the one who was affected by it in a deeply personal way. Sasuke is meant to challenge the legally legitimate with the morally legitimate, and when you play with the idea that Sasuke does not leave sooner, but later in the story, you lessen his narrative weight, as you would make him choose the legal on his first step. He always possessed a rebellious streak, and a rebel and a revolutionary is not one who plays safe.

There are other things to consider as well. Why does it matter whether Kakashi realizes that Sasuke may not have left had he offered his help? Sasuke's choice was something we are meant to see as an inevitability, as he would leave and vow to destroy Konoha the moment he finds out the truth about what happened anyway, sooner or later. The moment Sasuke opposes Konoha, Kakashi would stop his support for him, so what difference does it make for Kakashi to offer his help or even acknowledge that Sasuke may not have left sooner rather than later, theme wise? With this you legitimize Kakashi and Konoha, if only they offer the kids some solutions for symptomatic stuff rather than curing things at their root, then there would be no qualms about anything.

When you do this you also ignore Sasuke's goal in a very careless manner, and that is that Sasuke wanted to be the one to kill Itachi on his own. Kakashi would probably not have allowed Sasuke to seek Itachi out on his own and would have probably intervened at some point, something Sasuke wanted to avoid. Sasuke felt that his duty is to personally bring Itachi to justice, something Kakashi would not have been able to provide him, as we now have to operate on the premise that Kakashi is actually concerned with Sasuke's wellbeing.

I'm not going to mention the issue of Danzo, as there is an amazing post here that goes into greater detail about that (which I am not going to tag here as I am yet to ask the creator of it whether they're okay with that).

Or Sasuke never finds out the truth, and then we would not have this story, but something completely different. Which is fine if you want to write fanfic, but not in the analysis of the work.

[princeescaluswords]

So, because Scott is poor, Derek should buy him a new car? That seems logical to you?

Did you come here looking for a fight? Because you just found one. I believe that this ask refers to this post, where I argued that Derek's performative asceticism isn't accidental, and that the show was implying that his privilege and wealth enabled his antagonistic behavior in the first two seasons.

Nowhere did I argue in that post, where I compared the speed with which Derek repaired his car window after Chris Argent's thug smashed it to the fact that the McCall family vehicle didn't have a driver's side window all season, that Derek owed Scott a car. I have, in the past, argued that the Hales owed Scott McCall reparations for repeated assaults, property damage, disruption of academic pursuits, and for taking over their self-appointed task of protecting Beacon Hills. I wish that the show had made it explicit in A Promise to the Dead (4x11) that Derek gave Scott the money from Garrett's locker rather than leave it ambiguous.

I'm never going to suggest that Teen Wolf went all in on an analysis of class struggle -- Heavens, no! -- but it didn't ignore the consequences of the Hale's upper class identity. "Everyone can be corrupted by money!" Peter howls in Monstrous (4x10) and he is a prime example of that. Similarly, Derek's wealth and privilege enable him to dwell, unhealthily, on the traumas of his past. I know of very few people who could take three months out of their life to obsess over family tragedies with no mention of work or responsibility, and still have cars, properties, and personal care items. Derek is not well served by this behavior, isolating himself from the mundane and from the mechanics of living. He intends to achieve his goals by himself due to trust issues, but he is forced to rely on Scott McCall as the only way to accomplish these things, and man-oh-man is he bitter about it.

But as the show had it's lead protagonist argue in Weaponized (4x07) "while we're trying not to die, we still need to live." In fact, I would argue that you can trace Derek's redemption arc by his willingness to live. At the start of the show, Derek is "totally alone" and his wealth and privilege allow him to operate like that. In Seasons 3 and 4, though, he starts to remember how to live. We see him in an actual home, even though it is the Loft of Solitude. He purchases a more practical vehicle. He allows himself to think about romance. He makes friends with the Sheriff and, amazingly, Chris Argent. A key scene is when he puts his wealth and privilege to positive use by trusting Braeden, hiring her to find Kate. He's using his wealth in a positive manner. It is no longer enabling his isolation. Look at Derek in the movie. He is fully living. He has a home, a family, friends, a business. Before the nogitsune seeks its revenge, Derek's primary focus is watching his son play lacrosse and getting him to embrace his family's heritage.

Since Derek's role was always to serve as a narrative foil to Scott, the lead protagonist, this arc highlights Scott's story. Regardless of what happens to Scott, he never isolates himself, with one important exception. At all other times, he worries about his grades, he wants to get into a good school, he wants to play lacrosse, he wants to date people, he keeps his friends close, he works with Deaton, he brings his mother lunch, etc. Yes, there are terrible things happening, but he doesn't forget to live while trying to stop corrupted hunters, Alpha packs, Japanese fox demons, and multi-million dollar assassin hit-lists. Fandom tends to hold the attention he pays to everyday living against him, but Scott knows from direct experience these things are important, and he doesn't have the wealth and privilege to put them on hold for months while dealing with villains or his own trauma. The exception? Season 5A, where Theo schemes to isolate Scott. Scott is still an alpha, a True Alpha, but that privilege alone won't save anyone. There's a reason that Melissa's primary advice -- as much as I might despise it on an emotional level -- is "You'll get them back. You have to."

Teen Wolf certainly wasn't an "eat the rich" show, but it did have a definite point of view that virtue was based in everyday things, the tasks and opportunity that should be in common with all of humanity, and not in the isolation that great wealth, ancient pedigree, or exclusive privilege grants.

[virgo-dream]

tonight's Hob headcanon: he has a truly atrocious singing voice. unfortunately for everyone around him, he also loves to sing. there's a biweekly karaoke night at the New Inn (the staff talked him down from a weekly event for the sake of their eardrums) and people in the know attend solely to listen to Hob sing Queen's "Don't Stop Me Now" SO badly that it should, frankly, be against the law.

the exception to this is in the Dreaming, where Hob's singing voice matches what he hears in his head, where the passion and the feeling that he puts into it are discernible by others and not just himself.

the result of this mismatch is that Dream has no idea what Hob's singing sounds like in the waking world until he happens to drop by the New Inn on karaoke night and he and Matthew both get their faces absolutely blown off by Hob's godawful take on "You've Got A Friend In Me."

xo @hardly-an-escape

@hardly-an-escape oooo thank you for this!!! as a singer myself, this is my biggest nightmare lol but knowing Hob, I think he probably doesn't care what others think! he'll sing his big heart out and whoever doesn't wanna listen can plug their sour ears lol but also....... you know how every thought can be made into a sad hurt/comfort fluff thought? well..........

Dream had avoided music for as long as he could remember. It is hard to escape something that is so present in the mind of dreamers, that plays in the imaginary background of every argument, every victory, every kiss and every loss. Still, he avoided music, because no voice could ever sound as sweet as the one he'd lost far too soon, the only one he wished he could hear sing again.

Still, it didn't mean he could ban people from dreaming of music, because it would be largely unethical of him, and if Dream took one thing seriously (not to say he didn't take all things seriously, but one clearly above all) it was his work. He would not keep dreamers from creating music in their slumber, but he would also not engage with those minds. They were loud enough on their own, and if he had to bring himself any closer to them than he was strictly required to... well, that would certainly overwhelm him to the point of making the entire Dreaming completely devoid of sound for a while.

There was one mind that he'd never refuse a visit to, and that was Hob Gadling's very loud, very musical sleeping brain.

The first time Dream heard Hob sing, it made him cry on the spot.

Tears just rolled down his pale cheeks, and he felt so vulnerable that when Hob noticed his presence, all Dream could do was say "this dream is over" and disappear from the Waking for a week. When they did meet again, Hob apologised profusely for upsetting him, even though he didn't know what had caused Dream so much distress, and only then did he notice that it wasn't Hob's fault, how could it be?

They sat together in silence in Hob's living room after Dream told him of Orpheus' divine talents, of his beauty and his music, of the tragedy of his death and the cowardice of his father, if Dream could even call himself Orpheus' father, and not his biggest detractor, a traitor in the face of love that now he knew he'd do the same to recover.

Hob kissed the tears away from Dream's cheeks, and promised to not sing again. Dream just shook his head, and said "Do not deny yourself the joy of music, for I once too knew it and reveled in it."

As their relationship progressed, Dream allowed Hob more agency in the Dreaming. They'd meet every night, sit together in the library, watch the magical sunsets of the Realm of Dreams and Nightmares, and Hob would sing him lullabies and love songs, kiss the tears away from Dream's cheeks much like he'd done that first time, and let the salty taste of them accompany his lips down to Dream's own.

Dream loved to hear Hob sing. He was talented beyond belief, and it felt like a curse lifted, a gift from the Creator themselves bestowed upon a very undeserving Dream of The Endless, to love one who sang as sweetly as a songbird. Dream began to enjoy music again, to actively seek it out. He'd buy Hob records in the Waking, or pluck brand new compositions from Hob's favourite (living) musicians to gift Hob in the Dreaming, only to hear Hob's rendition of his own favourite tunes. Anything could sound good in that voice. It was the voice that made the music bearable.

That was, until one Christmas party at the New Inn.

Hob (and everyone else, really) had already downed quite a few drinks. Dream was a little tipsy himself, which wasn't entirely uncommon, but was very confused by Hob's hesitance to join his friends, who were all belting out to, with questionable skill, even more questionable music. "I can sing to you later, duck." "I really shouldn't." "no one likes actual singers doing karaoke". Dream was not convinced. In fact, he had the feeling Hob was lying to him.

"do not deny yourself the joy of music, for I have now found it again through you, and do not wish to lose it again."

And so, Hob had no choice but to sing.

He walked up to the little makeshift stage they had crafted specially for the Chirstmas get together, grabbing the microphone like he was on his way to being hanged for shagging the prince of England. He found a song that he was sure he wouldn't completely butcher, and as all of his friends cheered him on, and Dream smiled one of his rare smiles saved only for Hob's eyes, he let out a sigh.

"...y..YooUuu'vE GooT A FrrieeenD IN Meee."

Dream.

"...yOU'Ve got a... f..frIEND In mEEeee..."

Dream wasn't sure what exactly he was feeling.

He only then understood Hob's hesitance, the way his face seemed to scrunch up in painful agony as he belted out the notes, afraid of disappointing Dream. Matthew was perched on his shoulder, trying his best not to let out a very human laugh out, hiding his beak against the lapel of Dream's trenchcoat. He almost wanted to laugh, but not at Hob, never at him. At the situation. At the voice Hob's brain had crafted only for Dream's ears. At how now, because of Dream, Hob felt uncomfortable with his own skills.

"t..thERE Isn'T A-AnytHINg I WOuldn't dOOoo f-fOR YooU.."

So Dream stood from his seat, to the surprise of Matthew and of all others in attendance, and joined Hob on stage. He grabbed the other microphone, showing Hob a gentle smile, before pressing a soft kiss to his lips. And so, his voice soared out of the speakers, a full, near baritone croon, but Hob knew it was meant only for him.

"Some other folks might be A little bit smarter than I am Bigger and stronger too Maybe But none of them will ever love you The way I do It's me and you, boy."

Dream kissed Hob again, to the sound of aaaws and cheering and clapping. "I'll love to hear you sing later when we're in bed." He whispered into Hob's ear, but perhaps a little too close to the microphone. Perhaps, he'd done it on purpose.

And that's the story of how Dream of The Endless got his singing voice back. A true Christmas Miracle, if you ask Hob.

[eternumb]

Little Lover Chapter 1

Cw: Implied death, implied nudity.

Aiden just made a successful haul in the city. He managed to snag not only some food but some money for necessities as well. He felt proud of himself for the work he did. He started to rush into the bushes to head back “home”. Aiden never really had a home, his mother and father never cared for him when he was young and as such, he always explored. When he old enough he left one day and never returned, to him he was living the life.

After exiting the bushes, Aiden reaches the back end of the royal castle. He picks a berry from the garden before sneaking inside. As he walks down the darkened hall he continues to enjoy the fruits of his labor. He notices some maids and other staff walking around the castle. He sneaks by them with ease as he learned to keep himself silent as a mouse.

He then reaches a door a slides himself under it.

“Alright let’s see what I made today, about 200? Nice, that should bring me up to 8,000 now.” - aiden

Aiden celebrates his “little” victory for a second. As he begins to pack everything he feels a strange presence near him. He becomes stiff after feeling the presence. He looks around the room but sees nothing. Nervous he slowly turns his head back and notices the prince and princess standing over him.

“Ohhhhhhhh…. Hi guys, h-how you been?” - aiden

“Oh we’ve been fine aiden, except oh you know, WORRIED DAMN SICK ABOUT WHERE YOU BEEN ALL NIGHT” - Princess

“I-I’m sorry okay, I know i’m not allowed outside the castle” - aiden

“But no matter how many times we tell you, you always manage to sneak out” - prince

“Well yeah, I mean, i want to make a life for myself out there you know, I can’t always rely on you guys” - aiden

“Yes you can, and yes you will” - princess

“Come on we both know I can’t” - aiden

“And why’s that, because you think you have some right to always put yourself in danger by sneaking put?” - prince

“Look let’s just stop please, I don’t want to argue tonight” - aiden

“No, okay because when we have a problem we come to you and talk, but clearly something is wrong right now and we need to have a talk, because this is the 58th time you’ve snuck out and I’m personally livid” - princess

“I swear aiden you need to start listening to us, okay, we have rules set for you to follow and we’ve been trying to be lenient with you but clearly you aren’t listening anymore so we’re going the more direct route” - prince

“Look okay, I’m sorry I’m just scared and-“ - aiden

“Oh, you’re scared? Of what, us? That we’re going to rip you limb from limb? Yeah real funny” - princess

“No, not of you, i just” - aiden

“Then of what, okay, what kind of tragedy are you so ‘scared’ of that you’re willing to sneak out of the castle OVER 50 TIMES FOR?” - prince

“I don’t want to talk about okay let’s- let’s just go to bed” - aiden

Aiden begins to cry over the argument and his thoughts.

“NO, okay, i’m DONE with this shit okay, so tell us now because I’m about ready to take EVERYTHING we gave you” - princess

“No, please, i just” - aiden

“THEN TELL US, WHAT ARE YOU SCARED OF?” - prince

“I’M SCARED OF BEING LEFT ALONE AGAIN BACK WHEN YOU WERE DATING THOSE PRINCES AND PRINCESSES OKAY? ARE YOU HAPPY? I HEARD THE CONVERSATION YOU HAD WITH YOUR FATHER ABOUT FINDING NEW PARTNERS AND I WAS SCARED I WOULD BE LEFT BEHIND AGAIN, I’M SCARED TO LOSE YOU AND YOUR LOVE, OKAY? I’M SCARED OF BEING ALL ALONE, I’M SCARED OF DYING ALONE” - aiden

The prince and princess are taken back by what he said. After screaming this, aiden falls to his knees as tears rush through his eyes. The prince and princess rush to him as he fell to his knees, attempting to calm him down. The princess grabs him as the prince strokes his hair and they both whisper and hum to calm him down. They bring him to the large bed in the room and lay down with him.

“Hey, it’s okay, we’re sorry, it’s alright now” - prince

“Yeah don’t cry please, I won’t take your things okay, so please stop crying.” - princess

“I-i’m so-rry I *sniff* didn’t mean to y-yell I just” - aiden

“It’s okay it’s okay, shhhhhhhhhh” - princess

“Please, don’t worry, take deep breaths and calm down, you’re safe here, remember, we love you” - prince

As they continue to comfort aiden, aiden calms down and stops crying and manages to get a hold of himself.

“S… sorry for making you guys worry, really I just… just” - aiden

“Don’t apologize, we shouldn’t have been so rough on you, we… tend to forget how different our lives are to yours.” - prince

“You know, you’ve… never talked about that week… to us at least, maybe… talking to us could help you, it would also let us know what exactly you’re scared of” - princess

“O-okay, after you guys started dating the other royal children and i was kicked out because of our argument, I… had nothing. I was always scrounging for scraps. I rarely had food to eat. I couldn’t even stand most of the time. One day, your exes found me and decided to torture me because of how angry you two were at me. I was prey for them to hunt. After a minute of running, they began to chase me with a gun, I did my best to hide but they always found me, I… i was cornered by the time they reached me. One of them took a gun and pointed directly at me, they were ready to shoot me and i was terrified, i only got lucky because they were out of bullets. Afterwards they began crushing my body, but didn’t kill me, they then left me to die. Afterwards, I was alone for a week in that forest with nothing. I was almost eaten several times. I just wanted you guys and… and… and… and… and…” - aiden

Aiden couldn’t even finish his last sentence, his eyes were flooded with tears, and his heart was racing. The prince and princess were baffled by everything they heard, they now understood why when they met aiden after a week he was begging and crying for their forgiveness. All they could do was comfort aiden.

“I- I am so so so sorry aiden love” - princess

“Me too, god i-if only i knew… i… i…” - prince

The two stayed silent as they comforted aiden through his trauma, looking at each other and realizing just how dangerous aiden’s life can truly be. Aiden cried for about a quarter of an hour before regaining his stature.

“S-sorry, i’m-“

“D-don’t ever apologize for crying, please, just come to us if you ever need comforting, even if you don’t know why you’re crying or sad” - princess

“And if anything, we owe you an apology, it was out idea to tell them about you, we never should of, if we had just kept shut, you… wouldn’t have almost died, we’re sorry” - prince

“Thank you, I just, i just need you to know i’m scared of being alone again, and i’ve been sneaking out to earn money so if i need to leave, i can without worrying if i can eat or not” - aiden

“… no, okay no more sneaking out and that final” - prince

“B-but I still need to make more money, how else will i…” - aiden

“You won’t need to work another day in your life, because we’ll tell father the truth” - princess

“Y-you’ll what?” - aiden

“We’ll tell father we’re both in love with you and he has to accept it no matter what” - prince

“B-but… n-no, okay I don’t want to cause more trouble and I don’t think i can handle talking to your father” - aiden

“Well, our decision is final and we’ll be talking with father, so don’t worry about saying a thing” - princess

“O… okay then…” - aiden

“Hey, don’t look so down, it’ll be alright, we promise, now then, would you like to sleep with your prince charming?” - prince

“Or your beautiful princess” - princess

“C-can i pick both tonight, please?” - aiden

“… after what you told us tonight, yes, you can sleep with us both, i’ll go and get the light” - prince

“And i’ll help you change into something more comfy” - princess

The prince and princess get off the bed for a minute, the prince turns off the light as the princess grabs some pajamas for aiden. As they both get back into the bed, the princess places the pajamas next to her before picking up aiden. The two of them then begin gently picking apart his clothing from him, removing everything gently off his body as he fights them until he left in his underwear and they begin to put his pajamas on him despite aiden fighting them on him being able to do it himself.

“I could’ve done that myself you know” - aiden

“True, but it’s much for fun when we dress you up” - prince

“I agree, anywho, let’s get some sleep tonight, goodnight” - princess

“Goodnight, love” - prince

“Goodnight” - aiden

The prince and princess kiss aiden goodnight before they all lie down in the bed.

*end of chapter 1*

[arcanaaa]

VIBRATES AT MACH FREQUENCY I am so normal about Cana finally having her own space and making it her own after living at the guild, then becoming a ward under the care of the church before briefly rooming with Mira, and finally, she's on her own! She's Miss Independant™! No more curfew, no more rules, no more sneaking out to head to the bar or club, Cana's finally got her own place and she makes the rules! She will decide who she'll allow into her space, she will decide how to relax in her own space, to eat and sleep whenever she pleases and there's not a goddamn thing anyone can say or do to stop her!

Except...well. For so long, she was always in the company of her guildmates; whether it was with Mira and the Strauss siblings or Gray, she was with someone. And until that moment, Cana had never been on her own before. Not that she's worried! Not that she's afraid.

But, y'know, she wouldn't mind if Mira came over to check on her every now and then, and hey, Gray is her brother, she wouldn't let him sleep out on the streets or god forbid in the guild infirmary those goddamn beds are so fucking uncomfortable so obviously she would have made keys for them to come by whenever they wanted! There's no commitment, Cana wouldn't mind if they dropped by her place, just, y'know, mind the mess and don't expect to have anything in the fridge. But she wouldn't turn away anyone who needed a place to stay, just to crash or to just chill.

Cana wouldn't have asked any questions if they suddenly dropped by one day and just decided to crawl into her bed to sleep. Bad day? Long mission? Depression? She wouldn't ask. She would simply crawl in after them and hold them. Sometimes in rare instances, it would turn into a cuddle pile-- and depending on who needed the therapy most, the one who was in the middle would be the one who would be piled on-- and then you have Loke, who joined in late and wouldn't know how deep each of their relationships go or how they all connect to Cana, but nevertheless he easily fits into the fold and it becomes something so normal for Cana to have these people come into her home and settle in her bed, in her space to seek her out for comfort that it's something that she doesn't bother questioning anymore.

( Hint: it's them, it's all of them, they all trauma bond and they all rotate and share middle privileges)

Also while I'm on the subject-- because I know I mentioned this in a whole other fucking headcanon-- Cana and Gray are the first kids to bond together and use touch, specifically hugging and cuddling to cope with each other's trauma. While Cana is not the source of Gray's trauma and neither is he the same for her, they both understand firsthand what grief is, what it's like to have lost family and to survive heartache and tragedy and live with guilt. The two of them growing up together and deal with the stress and trauma of being orphans and as wards of the church-- which eventually turns into a sponsorship that Cana and Gray eventually negotiate with Makarov to become affiliates and eventually mages of Fairy Tail, they both learn each others triggers, what sets them off while learning the best way to calm them or bring them out of a dissociative episode.

And then the two of them using this knowledge when they go on missions together as a trio, when eventually Loke joins their missions and the three of them become closer; whether its during a mission, or if they crash at her place or just somewhere they can all rest together, the trio aren't shy about sharing skinship, of sharing physical touch and body contact while one is in distress.

Anyways, I am so normal about Cana's need for physical contact with those she trusts, I am so normal about her giving those she loves and trusts access to her space and making a point to give them keys I am So Fucking Normal about the fact that the people she allows into her space are the ones she trusts implicitly to keep her safe and secure when she is too weak, too vulnerable or fragile, are people who she would give everything for them, without question.

:) *muffled screaming in the distance*

[shardofcognition]

Anguish and Insincerity in the Todoroki House

Endeavor lied to Touya Todoroki. But he, and his family, were in an impossible situation.

Enji Todoroki had realized that he would, eventually, encounter his own limits and that his only hope of exceeding his rival, All Might, might lay in producing a successor - a hero that would exceed even his own prodigious abilities. But it was still with hope, and not despair, that he pursued an heir.

To that end, he married Rei, for her strong ice-based quirk. It was an arranged marriage, and a taboo one a that, where his reputation and financial success were traded for a better chance as an exceptionally powerful child.

And, immediately, that's what he got. Endeavor, when he first saw Touya, was hopeful... and when Touya first started to manifest his quirk, he was overjoyed. He shared his drive and ambition with his child, who embraced them and his role. And Enji could not have been more proud, even just glimpsing the potential for his son.

Then, tragedy struck, when it became clear that Touya's body couldn't keep up with his firepower. Instead of mitigating Endeavor's problems with overheating, it was worse, dangerous even - and as time would tell, Touya would an amplification of his father in both his strengths and flaws.

He was his father's son. And that was the problem.

It was clear, too, that if Endeavor kept training Touya, he'd put him at more and more risk. With training designed to bring out the utmost firepower, Touya would only be burned more and more badly. Like a thoroughbred with powerful legs and weak ankles, Touya was born to use his abilities to their fullest, but they would probably kill him young. There was no way, as a parent or a hero, Endeavor could allow his son to pursue maximizing his quirk's potential. But there was a problem:

He had already told Touya the truth.

Touya's quirk WAS exceptional. Touya HAD the capacity to exceed Endeavor, and he might have the capacity to rival All Might. And none of the reasons why he supposedly had to stop made any sense to him. Yes, Touya burned himself with his own power, but that only meant there was a potential for injury. Endeavor as a hero was potentially getting injured every single day, facing off against people and monsters who legitimately wanted to do others harm. The potential for injury would NEVER have stopped Endeavor from pursuing his own career, so why would it stop his son? And though his father and mother spoke of other options, he knew that they were lying.

Endeavor said that there were many other fine and honorable careers, ones that would not involve his son constantly self-harming. And, Endeavor KNEW this to be true, and he agreed rationally that this was true, but he never BELIEVED it. Endeavor would not, his stubbornness reflected in the very name he chose, take one step from his dogged pursuit of the peak of the hero's path even when faced with All Might's insurmountable lead. And yet he told Touya to step off the path entirely.

Touya could never do it. He was his father's son. And Touya knew what his father's ACTUAL approval sounded like.

So, Touya settled on trying to prove Endeavor wrong, by proving the power and capacity of his quirk. He would train, in secret, and astound his father with the progress he had made, the power he had brought out. He would make Endeavor change his mind - by forcing him to return to believing in Touya's ability, like before.

But the problem wasn't that Endeavor ever stopped believing in Touya's strength, or his skill. It was that he could not let his son keep hurting himself, and he didn't believe Touya could use his quirk safely. And every time his son tried to impress his father, he showed up with new and deeper burns.

Thinking that he, himself, was the problem - because Touya insisted on chasing the goals Endeavor had set for him, before the risks were known - Enji separated himself from his son, walling him off from his world. After all, if Endeavor was the reason Touya kept hurting himself, he would give up, surely, if the distance was too far, and find something else to throw himself into. But Touya didn't. Touya couldn't. Touya was his father's son.

And while Enji saw that Touya idolized Endeavor and tried to imitate him, he missed a fundamental truth: Enji didn't become Endeavor because he idolized a hero - he became Endeavor because he was strong, and could not abide a world where he left that strength unused while evil was done to the innocent. And like his father, Touya knew he was strong. If he had never known his father, he would have exulted in his strength - with his father's example in front of him, it was clear the restriction was bitterly unfair. And it did not help that his parents kept having children - hoping for a balanced quirk, and hoping for companions that would calm their son's dedicated self-destruction.

It was worse when that son was born into the world that COULD fulfill his father's dream. Finally, Touya should be able to relent, and let his brother take up the mantle of the Flame Hero from his father. But Touya could not relent. He could not surrender the prospect of first place, especially to an even younger child. He was, after all, his father's son.

He tried to kill his brother.

He lashed out, hands awash in flame, as he charged his mother and his sister to strike the newborn baby. By some quirk or miracle, he was stopped, but that completed the schism. With the baby on one side, and his siblings on the other, no one really believed that Touya would relent anymore, or that his bonds would turn him from his self-destructive path... but no one had any idea what to do.

The family fractured further, both parents utterly and completely at a loss for how to protect their children from each other. Nothing could end Touya hurting himself. Nothing could assuage the growing darkness in their son. And Rei and Enji sank deeper into their own psychosis, the unbalanced parts of their own personalities, helpless and desperate to act to save their family from being consumed by their son's smouldering desperation. Enji's helplessness externalized as misdirected rage. Rei's internalized until eventually she broke. Shouto, the baby, never understood the isolation he experienced, or its source, or why his father was so desperate that Shouto be a heroic success to balance the open anguish of his other son. And Touya...

Touya just kept on burning himself, hoping, eventually, his father would see the flames without caring about the scars. Until he burned himself away, and Endeavor watched, helpless, as he failed to save his first and favorite son, because he'd never known how to use his own flames to do anything but burn.

[shinagawa-division]

Sumire’s Thoughts on Shizuoka Division

Kanon Hojo

“Ex-Chuuoku scientist #3682 (I’m kidding…probably) Kanon Hojo.” She looked at her picture blankly, “Y’know, I actually haven’t met her before, I mean, yeah, I’ve heard all the horror stories of all the shit she did before and after her…departure from Chuuoku, not like Ritsuko would tell me anything but this is the first time I’m putting a face to the name and honestly?…it’s about a ‘meh’ for me, look, I’ve been dealing with batshit insane scientists for nearly all my damn life, the shock factor stops being shocking after a while.” She rolls her eyes, “I’m sure she’s all spooky and dangerous and all that and definitely has the murderous intent to back it up but I honestly can’t bring myself to give a shit, so sorry Hojo but not everyone finds a Mr. Hyde wannabe frightening.”

Reika Aichi

She rolls her eyes, “Oh god, how can I not know who this woman is? Miho constantly bitched about her all time and we’ve been keeping tabs on her (along with a bunch of other rich assholes) back at the Den, just in case she decides to do something to alert the attention of the Den. People keep making a big deal about how she killed her husbands and stole their money which don’t get me wrong, that’s fucking scummy as hell but shit, it’s not effecting me so I don’t really give a damn, if she wants to kill rich guys for their money then do it, in fact, I’d say she’s doing the world a favor, natural selection and all that.”

Sakura Kito

She scowled, a nasty glare burning holes into the picture. “This bitch, she’s the reason why I’ve been so damn busy lately, it’s because Scorpion Den had just finished flushing her lackeys out of Shinagawa, they really thought their dumbasses could just waltz into my city, make a mess, and expect everyone to obey them?” She laughed sardonically. “Fat fucking chance, you’d think that it would be clear that as long as Scorpion Den exists, Shinagawa is off limits but apparently they’re just as stupid as they look. It didn’t take long to drive them out, I mean really, what could they possibly do against our tech? Not only that, but we like to pride ourselves on holding our on in a fight, teaches them not to underestimate us just because we’re more brains than brawn.” She smirked, “Ever since then, I made sure that every base we have in each Division (except Shizuoka obviously) is to be on their guard and if they see any of those Kito fuckers making trouble for them, they don’t hesitate to push back.” She frowned, “but still, I don’t think it’s enough…” She grinned manically, “maybe if I force their leader on her knees and make her beg for forgiveness then maybe her brainless soldiers will get the message.”

Silent Tragedy

“Great, another psychotic team out of the woodwork.” She rolled her eyes, “What exactly are they hoping to achieve in this competition? It’s not like Chuuoku is gonna allow them to get far, if anything it seems like they’re ready to spring a trap on them as soon as they step foot inside, oh well, it ain’t my problem, only thing I’m concerned about is getting my message across to that Kito woman, like hell I’m just gonna sit back and let you destroy my hard work, the last thing I need is for her to turn the entire underground into a monopoly, we already have enough of that in regular society as it is.”

[roryjackson]

⋆ Rory Collins Jackson ⋆ The Baby ⋆ 18 ⋆

Full Name: Lorelai Juliet Collins Jackson Nickname(s): Ror, Baby Jackson DOB: August 2, 1967 Gender: Cis woman Sexuality: Bisexual Job: Primarily a student, but also working part time at the Cherry Museum (and perpetually picking up shifts at Maraschino Music) Major: Undecided Living Arrangements: Currently living with her uncle and cousin, but she & Zahra are trying to save up to move out together + : Trusting, kind, enthusiastic, brave, supportive, - : Naïve, over-sensitive, stubborn, anxious, clumsy, 

& more! stats! here!

Bio: 

(tw for child abuse, domestic violence, & *literal* murder)

It’s somewhat difficult to reach “townie” status in a town as small as Cherry if you weren’t born there. You’d think it would be even harder, when your arrival was somewhat of a shock to everyone involved. Thankfully even the nosiest old bats ladies in town couldn’t bring themselves to ask questions when they saw the grieving ten year old: deathly pale, save the only semi-visible splotches of purple and blue—bruises refusing to fade—that littered her body. It became an assumed tragedy, with most people believing both her parents died in some terrible accident. The truth was so much worse. 

Rory was ushered into the Jacksons’ spare room (their town, their lives) in the predawn hours of an unusually cold May morning because after years of abusing her and her mother, her father had snapped, and done the unthinkable. he stabbed his wife to death, and had attempted to kill his daughter too, stopped only by the emergency personal arriving on the scene. Dan Collins was arrested, Eliza (Jackson) Collins was declared dead at the scene, and Rory? Rory was left effectively an orphan. 

Luckily for her, Rocky Jackson was having none of that. He’d dropped everything when the police called—drove a few hours down the coast to identify his sister’s body, and to collect his traumatized niece. Only once he arrived, and quietly introduced himself as her mom’s brother, did Rory finally allow herself to be led into a bathroom so the dried blood could be scrubbed off of her skin. 

The following months were brutal. She existed in a constant limbo between her new home in Cherry and her old town, where her father’s crime was the case of the decade. Reporters gathered outside the courthouse. She had to testify—had to sit on the witness stand just a few yards away from him. Rory was terrified of him. Terrified he would get off somehow, or escape prison, and come after her to finish what he’d started. 

Even after the trial was over, she struggled to adjust. To grieve. Rory didn’t have a smile to give to her uncle, or a single word to say, except when she was getting into shouting matches with her cousin, or waking up in the night screaming from a night terror. Rocky could barely coax one word answers out of her, and the therapists he brought her to fared even worse. She sat through sessions the same way she sat through her classes: silently, staring at the floor. Until... Something changed. After months of tension and biting remarks, a switch seemed to flip between her and Zahra, and suddenly they were inseparable. And a quiet boy in Rory’s class started talking to her. It took time, but slowly, she started to uncurl from her tight coil of grief and anger. She recognized her mother’s smile in the mirror. Realized she wanted to see it more. She spent weekends on Zev’s floor, talking about movies, until it all hurt less and less. With support from her uncle, Zahra, and her new best friend, she began to blossom in Cherry. 

But everything wasn’t magically fixed. Far from it. For all that Rory started to move on from the pain of losing her mom, she didn’t deal with it. She buried it. Tried to be the best niece she could possibly be to her uncle, the happiest, smiliest, easiest version of herself. Because that smile looked just like her mom’s, and if she couldn’t 

That said, the chaos of high school wore heavily on Rory. Especially the “prank” of the box. And she hated to see someone messing with the people she cared about. Maybe that was why she threw herself into figuring out who was behind it all. With all of the LBD and Lux drama behind them, she’s really enjoying her first year of college. She can finally stress about normal things like her new classes, and dances, and parties. But her real biggest worry these days is her uncle—and money. He puts up a good front, but she knows Maraschino Music is struggling. That’s why she’s always picking up shifts there, and why she was so grateful to Donny for giving her an in at the museum. Rory owes her uncle everything. She’ll do whatever she can to help him. 

Headcanons: 

Rory’s very affectionate in most of her relationships, both platonic and romantic. She gives hugs away like spare change and lets “love you”s roll off her tongue without a second thought. 

When she was little, Rory got stuck in the undertow in the ocean and almost drowned. Her father pulled her from the water physically pretty unscathed- but she’s still scared of drowning all these years later. It made the incident with the box all the worse.

Moving to Cherry didn’t cure her anxiety. That was a hard learned survival skill, growing up in her house, it wouldn’t be easy to let go. She’s still fairly shy in group situations outside of the gang. She certainly wasn’t popular at Cherry High, other than for being Zahra’s cousin, and then senior year after Zahra graduated, for being Bambi’s friend. 

She likes to draw, mostly sketches in pencil or pen. She’s actually pretty good at it, but it’s just a hobby. 

[peaceful-melancholia]

The Harbinger

“Being the Harbinger should put you at a level of respect with the Healer and the Judge, in my opinion. You’re as powerful as them, maybe more,” Catrin said. He said this seemingly out of nowhere. The two of them were spending time together in the garden, and they had been silent until that point. Yoruth was enjoying the time more so perhaps than any other moment in his life. He never wanted it to end.

“There is an excellent logic to why it does not command such a respect,” Yoruth said.

“Oh? And what logic could possibly be excellent enough to warrant a relative disrespect of the only man on earth who can see exactly what will come to pass, with no error or inaccuracy?” Catrin challenged. He scuffed his boot to tear a weed from the ground and looked at Yoruth, waiting for the explanation.

“Well, have you ever considered that I see what will come to pass, no matter what efforts anyone might make? I know these things, I see them, but if they are intolerable I can do nothing to stop them,” Yoruth explained.

“Surely there must be a way,” Catrin said.

“If there was, then I would be on a level with any paltry diviner. But any effort I make to prevent a future from happening will only feed into the continuation of that future. And if I accept the future, then that, too will bring the future about. I simply know exactly what will happen, including any efforts made to stop them.”

“And what is it like?”

“Oh, the seeing? It is like being there. I can know as clearly as I can be in the time I am in. I need only look. Even time seems to pass as if I were in that future, but I can always return, and no time has passed at all.”

“And in that experience, can you not attempt something different?”

“I suppose I might. I won’t necessarily remember all that I have tried, but even as fruitless as all that effort may be, I suppose I could try. I would if I needed to.”

“Ah, we pray that you never need to. Do you see any tragedy?”

“Not here, no. I saw the downfall of a great many to the west of here, which would have already come to pass, but not here. Not yet, at least.”

“Why did you not warn them?”

“I did, of course,” Yoruth said. He bent down to put his hand around a flower, pressing his nose to it to smell it – it was in full bloom, fragrant, and beautiful. He saw its eventual death, but that only seemed to sweeten this small moment. Perhaps the tragedy of endings sweetens the beauty of the present? It is better because it must end, Yoruth thought, though the ending was never any more pleasant.

“Yet you are sure it came to pass,” Catrin said, standing over Yoruth.

“Of course,” Yoruth said, standing once more. “All I see comes to pass. My warnings only serve to allow someone to mentally prepare for their future, not to change it. I told the Commander himself, who is more broadly being called the Wolf these days. He brushed aside the warning, so I told some others also. None of it will matter. Some will survive, many will die. Some will only survive in the short term, just the battle. And the world will change.”

“Change how?” Catrin asked, running his hand along a strand of grass to collect its seeds.

“In unpleasant ways. A sundering, in several senses of the word. Sundering of souls from body, of power from power, of society.”

“Will it reach this place?” Catrin asked.

“Yes. It will reach this place.”

“When?”

“It will do you only harm to know. Let us enjoy this moment. We will have others, but perhaps none as sweet as this.”

…

Several weeks later, the constant badgering and complaints about shadow magic came to a crescendo. The island gathered and spoke against the practice of the magic, banning it entirely. Of course, in the case of many, that would be rather vague. Yoruth, for one, could not be detected using his magic. Except of course his shadow form, which was an unsettling creature with the body of a great bird and a human head. Others might be more effected, but ultimately, it was a measure to ensure that those without shadow magic felt safe.

Catrin was not a shadow caster, but he felt it unfair to ban the magic his friend had only used for the good of others.

“This is an unfair thing to do,” he would say to anyone who would listen. “What have Yoruth and the others ever done?”

“Oh, he has done plenty,” said one woman. “Every bad thing he says comes true, no matter what I do. He’s cursing us,” she said.

“No, he isn’t. He isn’t able to change the truth and neither are you. He only reveals the truth.”

“I wish he wouldn’t, so it wouldn’t be hanging over me,” the woman said.

“It’s not Yoruth, not really,” said a man. “It’s shadow magic. Not Yoruth’s fault, but he has an awful magic that poisons the earth.”

“It never once did, until all this negativity came into being,” Catrin said.

“Nevertheless, can’t have all my plants dying, can I?”

Another man, a bit older than the last: “Well, it’s not so much that Yoruth is an issue. Or the others, really. It’s just that if we become known for our acceptance of shadow casters, they’ll all come flocking, and then we’d have a problem. We can’t support them, and they’d steal all the resources from the rest of us. It’s them coming here that’s the problem. And not just for us, for them, too.”

“And you believe they don’t deserve sanctuary anywhere on earth?” Catrin asked.

“Oh, somewhere – it only cannot be here. We cannot support them, so none of them should come. Some coming over would be a slippery slope.”

Catrin continued to try, but he soon realized that his efforts were fruitless. He kept himself appraised of the news, and tried to use that knowledge to show the destruction being caused by all of them, but they wouldn’t listen.

“The Healer is dead. He has been killed. And he is the Healer, the most respected mantle of all time. He was killed. And he would not have found sanctuary here. Perhaps if he had, he would be alive and able to help us all work to fix this issue. At the very least, we would have good medical care!” Catrin said on a street corner.

“We didn’t kill him, though, did we? So it’s not really our fault. Just unfortunate,” a man said as he passed.

Catrin told Yoruth all about his struggles, and Yoruth nodded. Unfortunately, he had known that these efforts would fail. He also knew that similar efforts would also fail. Truly the inexcusable actions of a few had poisoned the reputation of the many. There was no going back from that, it seemed, and things would need to get worse before they got better.

“Are the others, like you, are they all going to die?” Catrin asked, exhaustion and the grief of ongoing failure crossing his face.

“No, not all,” Yoruth said, smiling grimly as he handed a mug of tea to Catrin. “Many, though.”

“Who? Will they all be killed?”

“Are you sure you want that answer?” Yoruth asked.

“Yes, I must have it.”

“The Plantwright is to starve herself, trying to repair the dead fields, promising she would not eat again until it was from the field she was working on. That field will not produce for many years after her death is forgotten.

“The Reckoner is, even now, being hunted. She has the power to change things, unlike me, but I can see everything she will change, and she will eventually be caught, and killed. The Steelwright will die many times, his deaths undone by the Reckoner, and he will die a final time after watching her be killed.

“The Commander died in the battle, as I told him he would. He was set to agony by a man named Liam. He was killed by the same one who will kill the Reckoner. There is nothing any of us can do to stop him.

“The Healer died by his own oath: never to harm. He could have defended himself, but he defended his patients. Without his care, those patients also died, except one, who will go on to live a life of sorrow, never knowing why his caretaker was killed, or why his mother died next to him.

“The Bookwright will lock herself away, recording all she can with her pen and her hand scrawling details she never knew. She will record most of this era of pain, before her hand will write of her own discovery and death, and the book she wrote will be destroyed by the orchestrator of this all.

“The Stonewright will be thrown from a great height, which he will survive. And yet he will die when his works, deemed evil and profane, are thrown from the same height and onto him.

“And I will die-”

“Stop.”

“Sorry?” Yoruth asked, interrupted from his seeing.

“I do not want to know how you will die,” Catrin said. “Who will live?”

“Oh, about half. They will be successful in hiding. The Patriarch will be among them, dying of an illness after denying his friendship to the Crystalwright.”

“All of these are so incredibly sad. How do you handle it all?” Catrin said.

“It was a learned thing. I started knowing of many deaths, in detail, when I was young. So I have practice. The first fate I learned was of the Soulwright,” Yoruth said, thinking back.

“And what happens to him? Another victim of all of this?” Catrin asked.

“No, no – he, then she, then she, then he, and all of them for generations will die as children, just as their power is manifesting. The power will sunder several years from now, but then each will die separately in the same manner – being hunted by various hired assassins.”

“Oh, Yoruth, you have known that this whole time? That is what is in your mind?” Catrin said, pityingly.

“Not only that. A great many good things, too. But those wane with time as we enter a darker age. I should say that my successors may be haunted by an even greater darkness for some time, sorrow more consistent than sorrow should be.”

“Do you know that for certain?” Catrin asked.

“No. No, that one is a guess. I can see none of my successors. Perhaps they shall be happy.”

…

Some months later, and Yoruth had been stepping outside less and less. He had seen increasingly hostile looks and seemed to be unwelcome anywhere, so he went nowhere. Catrin had been kind enough to help him get what he needed, but of course, Catrin’s association with him had marked Catrin for hatred, also. So eventually Catrin took as much food and water as he could and holed up with Yoruth in the hope of waiting out the harsh feelings. Yoruth had no such hope, but allowed Catrin to have it.

And then, the day came. The sun rose as any other day, but it seemed redder to Yoruth, with his knowledge of what it would bring.

Knocks on the door were the start. Yoruth and Catrin did not answer, but the knocks grew more insistent, to the point that Yoruth knew they were not knocks made with hands, but knocks made with axes. It was not to be long, then. Yoruth, doomed, held a knife. He would try, do his best to save Catrin. He would fail.

The door burst open, and Catrin stood in front of Yoruth to block the path between the angry mob and their target. The axes and torches were too much for a singular knife, and Yoruth watched as his best friend fell at their hands, victim due only to his unwavering friendship and for no wrongdoing.

Yoruth saw all of their deaths. The people in the crowd would die in a variety of ways. One of them, by Yoruth’s hand. Just the one who had landed the killing blow on Catrin.

Yoruth saw himself pushing his knife into the man’s neck, which would kill him. But before it did, the others descended on Yoruth. Yoruth knew that if he cast his shadow, he could survive a few moments longer – but he didn’t want to. He wanted to save Catrin, to find some way to prevent his death, fruitless as it might be. Whatever previous attempts he might have made, this one was not fruitful, and the shear fact that he was still doing this meant that none of them had been. He would have to repeat what he assumed he had done many times before.

Yoruth voluntarily forgot all that he had learned in the months of looking into this future. Then, if he was lucky, he would be able to stumble upon a decision that would change the outcome as he looked again. He didn’t think it was possible. But even fruitless, he had to try. To him, it would be an endless loop for all eternity – he would never give up. But for the rest, this horrid fate would continue on, and Yoruth and Catrin would die.

As he forgot what he had learned, he found himself once more, in the garden, with Catrin. An eternal moment of silence, of bliss. And he began looking once again into the grim future, trying to find a path to get at least Catrin out of this alive.

[beautiful-songbird]

Not a Replacement

Pairing: Idol!Yoongi x Clothing Designer!OC

Genre: angst. BIG angst. slight fluff near the end(?)

Word Count: 3.5k

Warnings: mentions of still birth, pregnancy, surrogacy, and grief. also vague hints at death and drinking as well as bad relationships with parents. This story was super heavy so just...be warned

Summary: After the death of their first baby, Yoongi and Rosaelia don't plan to try again. That is, until one of their friends offers to carry their baby for them. This doesn't stop Rosaelia from worrying about the outcome, though.

Rosaelia paced the living room.  This was it.  This was either the end or the beginning of the rest of her life, and she wasn’t sure which was worse.  Jasmine had been seated on her couch for over ten minutes now, patiently waiting for Rosaelia to be ready to hear which way the news swung.  She was so sweet, and Rosaelia almost felt bad for even allowing her to do this to begin with.

It had all started almost three years ago.  Rosaelia had never wanted kids, but she’d discovered she was pregnanat.  It had been right after Jin and Jasmine’s wedding, and when she and Yoongi had announced the news, everyone had been thrilled at the idea of having a baby around.

That pregnancy had ended in tragedy, though, and Rosaelia had been advised to never get pregnant again.  That was ok.  She could live with that.  She’d never put it into her head to have kids, so the thought of not raising a kid shouldn’t have hurt her at all.

Except it had.  It had taken a while for it to hit her, but when Jasmine’s son had been born, everything had hurt.  Rosaelia couldn’t hold Namu.  She couldn’t hold Esme’s daughter Elise four months later either, or even nearly a year after that, she couldn’t bring herself to hold Zelda’s baby boy.

As much as seeing her best friend have a kid hurt, seeing Namu and Zoro hurt way more.  Seeing both of them had reminded her of that tiny baby boy who had come into the world sleeping.  Antonio.  He’d been born weighing less than a pound, and her time with him had been none at all.  Somehow, despite, the pain, it had sparked in her the desire to be a mother.  It made no sense.  She’d never wanted kids but losing one she’d never even planned to have had made her want that life.

She’d apparently informed the girls of such a thing that drunken New Year’s Eve.  It hadn’t been brought up again until recently, though.  Sweet Jasmine was the only one who had had the courage to mention it after a whole year and a half.  Not only had she brought it up, but she’d proposed an offer.

“What if I carried the baby for you?”

It had always blown Rosaelia’s mind how a bunch of girls from all over the world were so nice to her.  Jasmine was like the older sister she never had, Yuna shared her love for companionable silence, Esme was the best friend she’d always dreamed of, Astrid was always reaching to pull her out of her comfort zone, Zelda very much resembled her younger sister, and Nubia was ever the sweet voice in her ear.

But this?  This was beyond imaginable for Rosaelia.  Jasmine would carry her baby?  Whoa.  Whoa.  The sheer shock of such an offer had been enough to get her to agree.

That had been three months ago.  They’d already tried twice, with no success.  Rosaelia had been willing to try again, but only because she was told this happened often.  Three was their average for how many tries it took.  So, after three, if it didn’t work, she was done.

This was number three, and Jasmine was waiting on the couch to listen to the voicemail they’d received.  This was what they’d agreed on, but Rosaelia somehow wasn’t ready.  She was terrified.  She wanted a positive, but she wasn’t sure she was ready for that.

“Rose, I know you’re stressed, but I have to go in ten minutes, and I really don’t want you to stress about this overnight.  Can we please listen to it?”

“I don’t think I want to know, honestly.”

“You do.”

“But what if it’s negative?”

“What if it’s positive?”

“I’m not sure I’m ready for that either.”

Jasmine patted the couch next to her, and Rosaelia sat down.

“Rose, I don’t think you’re ever going to be ready for this.  Either way it goes, we’ll know eventually, so we might as well know now, right?”

She nodded. “I guess.” She sucked in a deep breath. “Ok, play it.”

Jasmine hit the button to start the message, and the two of them held their breaths.

“Hello Miss Kim, I’m calling about your blood test results.  We are very happy to inform you that the IVF worked, and you are currently three weeks pregnant.”

There was much more to the message, but Rosaelia tuned it all out.  It had worked.  The IVF had worked.  She was going to be a mom.  This was actually happening.

“Rose?  Rose?  Hellooooo?  You there?”

Rosaelia blinked herself back to the present, but it was too much for her.  She burst into tears.

“Aw, Rose, come here.” Jasmine pulled the younger girl into a hug. “How are you feeling?”

“Terrified,” Rosaelia breathed.

“Of what?”

“What if this was a mistake?  What if I end up being a bad mom?”

“You won’t, Rose.  I think the fact that you were willing to try for this is enough proof already.  No one tries this hard for a baby they don’t want.”

And just like that, Rosaelia’s world had flipped on its head again.  And this time, there was a very big chance of success.

◇◆◇◆◇

“Rosa, stop pacing.  You’re just making yourself more nervous.”

Rosaelia sighed and glanced over at Astrid. “I just don’t know what to do.  I’m scared that I’ll have more hope if we have a gender reveal.”

“And why is that a reason not to have it?”

“Because.  If we lose this one too…it’ll be so much worse if I know.”

“You’re going to find out either way eventually, Rose.  And besides, it’s ok to have hope.  Even if it doesn’t last, you’ll have enjoyed it for a while.”

Rosaelia sucked in a breath. “So…I tell Jasmine yes?”

“I think you should.  You don’t have to, though.”

Rosaelia wrung her hands as she considered it.  She was so terrified.  She wasn’t sure she had the mental strength to lose another baby, but she knew she should be more confident that this was going to end well.  The problem last time had been that her uterus wasn’t strong enough to carry the baby, and that issue was remedied by the fact that Jasmine was carrying this one.  That didn’t mean something wouldn’t happen, though.

Despite this, she informed Jasmine that she wanted to know.  She knew that this time she had so much more support than she’d had last time.  She remembered how awful the last time had been.  Her water had broken at 21 weeks.  That was way, way, way too early for a baby to be born, but it had happened anyways.  After it was all said and done, she hadn’t known who to tell.  It wouldn’t take long for someone to notice something was wrong, but how did she tell everyone?  How do you tell everyone you just lost a baby?

Of course, the news had come out eventually.  She’d told Esme nearly immediately, but she wasn’t sure how to tell the rest of them.  There were so many other things going on – Jasmine was expecting soon, and Zelda was planning a wedding.  Could she even tell them?

And then, Yuna had brought it up one night near the end of July.

“Rosa?  I hope…this isn’t rude.  If you don’t want to answer this question, that’s fine, but we’ve all been a bit worried.  You haven’t…talked about the baby in a while…and you don’t really look pregnant anymore.  Did something happen?”

This has surprised Rosaelia.  First of all, she’d been surprised anyone had even noticed.  She’d been doubly surprised that Yuna had been willing to ask about it.  It was just the two of them tonight, so she felt a bit more willing to tell her than she had if they’d been in the presence of Jasmine or Zelda.

“We lost the baby.  In June.”

“Oh,” Yuna gasped.

Rosaelia nodded. “I went into labor, and…well…he didn’t make it.”

Yuna rubbed her shoulder. “I’m so sorry, Rosa.  I shouldn’t have asked.”

Rosaelia shook her head. “It’s ok.  I needed to tell everyone eventually.”

It hadn’t taken long for her to tell everyone after that.  Yuna and Esme had both encouraged her to do so, and she’d felt more relived after everyone knew.  Of course, this didn’t mean it hurt any less, but the weight of having to tell everyone was lifted off her shoulders.

Somehow, that hurt was still there two and a half years later.  It didn’t hurt as bad to see all her friends’ babies, but it still saddened her to see little boys.  They all reminded her that in some other reality, she would’ve had one of those little boys now.  Had he been born near his due date, his second birthday would be coming up soon.

◇◆◇◆◇

The oddest thing happened.  Jasmine had planned the gender reveal.  This, of course, was not odd.  She was the one carrying the baby, and she’d wanted to be the one to make the cake.  The odd part had been the date she’d planned the party for.  October 24th.  It just so happened to fall on a Sunday this year, which was the absolute best day for a party.  But…it was Antonio’s due date.  Jasmine probably didn’t remember this.  It had been mentioned in passing nearly three years ago now.  But Rosaelia sure remembered it.

By the time that date rolled around, Rosaelia wasn’t feeling so great.  Even though it wasn’t his death date, it felt more like a death date to her than June 17th did.  This was the third year his due date had come around, and every time it did, she remembered how horrifying that one June day had been.  She remembered how deathly silent the room had been when he’d been born, and she remembered the lingering warmth on his skin when she’d held him.  She remembered how bitterly she’d cried.  He’d been so tiny, and he’d looked more like a little doll than a newborn baby.  He’d had Yoongi’s nose, but none of his other features had been quite as defined.

She’d sat there for hours just holding his little body, Yoongi right by her side.  Both of them had been in tears, and she’d realized she’d only experienced this kind of grief once before.  This was different, though.  Nothing hurt more than holding a baby you’d never get to raise.

“Rosa?  What’s wrong?” Yoongi asked, settling his hands against her shoulders.

Apparently she’d been in their bedroom long enough to be considered worrisome, because he’d came to find her.  She glanced up at him, feeling far too embarrassed about being caught crying.

“I…I don’t know if I can go…today.  It should be Antonio’s second birthday.  It…” she sobbed, and then her voice dropped to a whisper. “It feels like we’re betraying him by having another baby.”

“Oh, Rosa.” Yoongi crushed her in a hug. “We’re not betraying him.”

But it felt like a betrayal.  Just like falling in love again had at first.

“But…he was supposed to be our first baby.”

“He was our first baby.”

Those words stilled her.  She’d never thought about it that way.  It hadn’t felt like he was her first baby because she’d never seen him alive.  She’d remembered Jasmine talking about Namu’s birth not too long after that.  She’d talked about his big, tired eyes as he’d looked up at her for the first time.  Rosaelia had never had that.  Her baby had been gone before the world had even welcomed him.

“He was?”

“He was.”

She could remember knowing he was alive.  She’d felt his tiny flutters in her belly for a few weeks before that awful accident had happened.  It had barely been noticeable, but it had been there.  There had definitely been a tiny human in there, alive and active.  Antonio had been alive.  He’d been there before his premature birth had stamped the life out of him.

She sighed into Yoongi’s shoulder, finally giving into the tears. “He’s been gone for two years, Yoongs.  Why am I not over it?”

“Because we lost our child.  We’ll never be over it,” he replied, and she realized he was crying too.  He pulled away from her just enough to look her in the eyes. “How about we go upstairs now?  Even if not for us for Jasmine?  She’s doing such a big favor for us already, and now she’s planned this party, so how about we go to it?”

Rosaelia nodded, fresh tears sliding down her face.  Yoongi thumbed at them in an effort to clear them off her face.  “Ok…ok.  Let’s go upstairs.”

◇◆◇◆◇

Jasmine was the best at planning baby showers.  She’d planned all but one of the ones they’d had so far, and that one had been her own.  She’d made a cake, and the girls had helped her decorate the roof.  It all felt so special, and it made Rosaelia feel so sad.  It was awfully reminiscent of her first gender reveal, and that one had ended in tragedy only a few weeks later.

She was glad Yoongi was there with her and that it was only the few of them.  If they’d invited other people, Rosaelia would’ve felt way worse.  Barely anyone knew that it was her baby that Jasmine was carrying.  They’d all agreed not to tell anyone for Rosaelia’s peace of mind.  She didn’t want to have to go around with people knowing she’d lost two babies if this one died too.

She wasn’t sure she was ready to cut the cake when Jasmine handed her the knife.  She didn’t know if she wanted to know.  If it was a boy…she’d just be reminded of Antonio all over again, and if it was a girl…well, maybe that would be good.  Esme’s daughter could have a little best friend soon.  It would just remind her of Bianca…and Julia.  Bianca, the little sister she’d let go of when she’d left México, and Julia, the girl she’d lost so many years ago.

She needed to not think about it for too long.  Either way, she was having a baby, and that was what mattered.  It was just a baby.  Not Antonio.  Not Bianca.  Not Julia.  Just a baby.

When she cut into the cake and it came out pink, she couldn’t help but smile.  One glance at Yoongi told her that he was grinning.

“We’re having a little girl, Rosa.”

“We are.”

It made her happy, but she was sad all at the same time.  She couldn’t even explain it.  She wasn’t even sad that Antonio wasn’t here anymore.  This was something else entirely.  She remembered Bianca talking about being an aunt one day.  She’d never wanted to her children of her own, but she’d always hoped that Rosaelia would have children.

They weren’t in contact anymore, though.  Bianca had sided with their parents in the arguments that eventually resulted in Rosaelia leaving the country, and every conversation they’d had since had resulted in Bianca trying to get Rosaelia to talk to them again.  So, Rosaelia had practically stopped talking to her too.

◇◆◇◆◇

The next few months seem to go by too slow and too fast all at the same time.  Esme’s second daughter was born merely a week after the gender reveal, and somehow, this made Rosaelia all the more nervous for her baby to be born.

Once the 28-week mark had passed, Rosaelia was a bit calmer than she had been for the whole time.  Jasmine had made it to the third trimester, and each week was one step closer to a baby who could actually survive the outside world.

The only issue left in Rosaelia’s mind was a name.  What was she going to name this baby?  She’d named Antonio when she’d been only 16 weeks pregnant, that was, as soon as she’d known he was a boy.  But she hadn’t been so ready with this baby.  Naming the baby would make her more attached, and she didn’t want to make it even harder on herself if she lost it.

The thing was, there was less than three months until they’d be greeting a little baby for sure, and she could come sooner than that.  And…Rosaelia had some sort of idea.  She just wasn’t sure if it was a good idea, though.  It had been on her mind since she’d first been pregnant with Antonio, and now it was especially present as she thought about naming a little girl.  Julia’s namesake had already been honored once in a clothing line Rosaelia had developed…but.

“My middle name is Isabel.  After my grandmother.  Mamá said it means perfection.  Funny, isn’t it?  She’d think I’m far from perfect now.”

Of course, if Julia were here now, Rosaelia wouldn’t even be having this baby.  But she also wouldn’t have wanted Rosaelia to name the baby after her.  “Give her a special name.  Don’t name her after me,” she would’ve said.  But she’d departed from this earth thirteen years ago, and Rosaelia wanted to remember her.  Not that she’d ever forget her.

Rosaelia told Yoongi she was naming the baby after an old friend.  They’d be calling her Isabella.  Not quite Isabel, but close enough.  Rosaelia had had full intent of giving their daughter a Korean name as well, but Yoongi had insisted they give her Rosaelia’s own middle name.  Maria.  Isabella Maria.

So, it was decided.  They’d be greeting a little tiny girl named Isabella Maria on April ninth.  Or…somewhere around there.  Babies were rarely born on their due dates.

Rosaelia felt a bit heavier once they’d named her.  She knew that likely, this baby would make it.  But the knowledge that there was still an ‘if’ made her uneasy.

“Hey, Rose, what’s wrong?” Yoongi asked as they lay in bed one night.  He could tell she’d been uneasy for days – weeks, even – and he wanted to know what was up.  The only issue was that they never seemed to talk about their feelings, so it was a bit awkward broaching the subject.

She took a big, deep breath. “Just…what if we lose her?  She doesn’t even seem real to me sometimes.  I mean, I’m not carrying her, so how is she my baby, you know?”

He hummed. “I think it’ll feel very real when you’re holding her in your arms.”

Her eyes filled with tears. “What if it never happens, though?”

He thumbed at her tears. “It’ll happen.”

“But we lost Antonio.  We could lose her too.”

“We could.  We could lose anyone at any time, Rose.  We can’t dwell on that, ok?”

“Yoongi….”

“What is it?” he hummed.

“I don’t want to lose her.”

“We won’t.”

◇◆◇◆◇

By the time April rolled around, Rosaelia was much more confident in Isabella’s survival, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t insanely freaked out when Jasmine went into labor.

It was long.  Much longer than Rosaelia’s labor had been with Antonio.  And while Jasmine was completely fine with this, Rosaelia just spent hours pacing the hospital.  Jin had told her that everything was fine, and that Jasmine’s labor had lasted this long with her own son, Namu, so it was completely normal that it was taking this long.  Apparently.

It was nearly eleven pm by the time the tiny girl made her appearance, and she was loud about it.  This astounded Rosaelia.  She’d never heard a newborn scream before.  Maybe most parents didn’t like the sound of that, but to her it was a scream of life.  Isabella had made it.  She was alive.

Holding her a few minutes later was a completely unreal experience for Rosaelia.  Isabella was tiny, but she was nearly six times the size her brother had been.  Rosaelia finally understood the wonder of having her baby look at her.  And, strangely, Isabella was resemblant of what Rosaelia had thought Antonio would look like had he been born when he’d been supposed to.

She had Yoongi’s eyes, with the slightest crease over her eyelids.  She had his little nose too, but Rosaelia was sure her skin was a tanner shade than his was, and her lips were a touch too pouty to have been his.  She was the most adorable baby Rosaelia had ever seen, even more adorable than Antonio had been.  She had the blankest stare as she looked up at Rosaelia, but she was still so beautiful.

“Hey, look,” Yoongi chuckled. “It’s me.”

Rosaelia let out a soft laugh. “I never want to let her go.”

He laughed. “Maybe for just a few minutes so I can hold her?”

“Maybe….”

They’d be taking a little baby home soon, and it seemed surreal.  Isabella was really theirs.

This is part of the Dad!BTS series that can be found here

A/N: uh...so yeah this is finally getting posted. Honestly I started this months ago and thought it would never see tumblr

It would be greatly appreciated if you reblogged the story if you liked it!

Taglist: @jiminie-and-his-pinky-finger @jinnie-forthe-winnie @thornedswan @kookstempo @armys-dna @fly-you-dam-fools @aianloveseven

[tiesthatbind-tf]

I accidentally deleted 2000 words of story for poor Soundwave last night and had to rewrite everything but tbh, they’re absolutely worthit.  Their armor definitely makes me want to experiment with Celtic motifs for Hot Rod!

Full story below.

Suraya Widodo was born to parents Wijaya and Ni Made Saraswati on the island of Madura, Indonesia. They noticed that something didn’t quite seem right with their baby, who was fussier than most, threw fits when brought into crowded spaces and seemed mostly lost in their own thoughts, though this did little to dampen their love.

The name ‘Widodo’ (healthy) was given to Suraya (despite the masculine nature of it, which does lend to Suraya’s nonchalance about their gender in later years) in hopes that they would grow up alright despite their quirks.

Wijaya, a fisherman who wanted to give his family a better life in the more industrialized town of Bangkalan west of the island, pushed himself hard at his work, hoping to earn enough to allow them to settle down there comfortably.

He began to risk venturing out into ocean areas which were occasionally used as smuggling routes where more lucrative catches laid, careful to fish there during specific times to the day to avoid crossing paths with pirates and smugglers.

However, his luck ran out one day when a smuggling vessel came across him in broad daylight and silenced him from alerting the coast guards to their existence with five shots.

Suraya was five.

Saraswati, desperate to find a way to care for her child as the new breadwinner thought she had gotten lucky when a job scouter for a factory in Bangkalan came to the village. They were looking to offer work to single mothers as part of their corporate responsibility programme and extended the offer of employment to her and promised a hostel and training so she wasn’t out of her depth in the assembly line.

Seeing it as the best option, she left Suraya with her husband’s family while she worked and lived in a worker’s hostel on weekdays and returned to see Suraya every weekend.

She would give money to the family to care for Suraya in her absence, which was crucial since they weren’t fond of Saraswati (they had not agreed to Wijaya’s marriage) and found Suraya’s odd behavior off-putting and claims of ‘hearing voices’ potentially a sign of mental illness (which was fodder for them to demand even more money from Saraswati with the excuse that Suraya was a handful).

This routine continued until Saraswati was suddenly killed in a factory accident.

Suraya was nine.

The compensation for Saraswati’s death was enough for the family for only a few months and after it dried up, the neglect and abuse began. Though at times it was odd because Suraya seemed to know when they were in a bad mood and when they were looking for an outlet for their anger, and  the child would somehow almost always magically disappear during those times.

Then an agent claiming to be from the government came to see them.

He claimed he had heard about Suraya via their mother and wanted to inspect the child to see if they would qualify for a place in a ‘special school’ for ‘different’ children, and this had sounded tame enough to the family, who allowed him to see the shy, withdrawn little waif.

However Suraya immediately could tell what his true intentions were—-to have them locked up in a testing facility to figure out their ‘mutation’—-and attempted to run, only to be caught by his fellow officers outside the home.

The family was paid compensation for officially relinquishing Suraya’s care to the state, and did so without question, only relieved to be rid of their ‘burden’.

Suraya was taken to facility after facility in the state for the first few years to have a battery of tests, many painful, run on them to figure out their ‘special ability’ as an Outlier and to see if it could be replicated.

When they were in their early teens, they were transported overseas to a different facility as a bargaining chip for intel, tech and the like, coming into the ‘care’ of people who intended to use them as a government asset.

They never saw daylight except during transportation and they began to plan their escape as they studied the facility’s layout.

Their first attempt at escape didn’t go well however; they were caught, dragged back and had their eyes burned and blinded as punishment (at this point they had shown their handlers that their highly-enhanced hearing made them capable of navigating the world in total darkness, so said handlers didn’t not see this as ‘damaging the goods’).

If the handlers thought that the punishment would deter them however, it didn’t; Suraya just became more careful and subtle with the planning of their next attempt.

The second attempt came during a transport session where there were less guards and less access to tech to subdue them, though it came with a problem they did not plan for.

In their first attempt, they had tried escaping into the countryside. In this one, they hurled themselves out completely unprepared into a world louder than any world they had ever known; downtown London on a weekend.

The cacophony completely overwhelmed their senses and they barely managed to crawl-stumble into an alley as bounty hunters were enlisted to track them down.

It was here that they ran into one Ramiro Vasquez (Ravage) who was immediately concerned about their situation and once figuring out the nature of their distress, gave them his headphones to drown out the noise and kept them safe and hidden until the bounty hunters had left.

He then took Suraya back to the rented apartment he shared with Lara Soelberg (Laserbeak) and both agreed to let the waif stay with them for as long as they needed to be alright, and the three formed a little familial unit as Suraya grew deeply fond of the two Beast Men whom they saw as two of the most compassionate people in a horrible world.

Ramiro however understood that Suraya needed tutelage to properly harness and deal with their Outlier ability; having heard whispers of a secret Outlier school run Senator Sharifuddin Waseem (Shockwave) and knowing Sharifuddin as one of the few good men in the Senate, he decided to take the risk and confronted the Senator about the matter, promising to keep the secret a secret in return for helping out Suraya.

As it turned out the threats were not necessary, as Sharifuddin was genuinely  concerned for them and came to see them personally at the apartment. Initially,  Suraya was apprehensive about meeting someone else about their abilities, remembering full well how the first such meeting ended, but to their pleasant surprise, they detected no malice in Sharifuddin’s intentions; only the desire to help.

They agreed to enroll in Sharifuddin’s Outlier institute, coming back home to see Ramiro and Lara every weekend.

They excelled in their classes and soon mastered their ability and knew how to deal with the overstimulation that came from it, to the point where they could walk the streets with no problem.

In the wake of murders of Senators Nikomedes Momus and Gayathri Sharma, Suraya offered to become a spy for Sharifuddin, who was determined to solve the deaths, and Sharifuddin began bringing them to Senate meetings under the guise of them being his new aide.

They caught the eye of Senator Radbourne (RatBat) who seemed to pick up the fact that they were an Outlier, but rather than bring up the matter, requested that they work with him as well on.... matters regarding his constituents with disabilities.

Sharifuddin has his reservations about Radbourne and Suraya knew they were up to no good and both agreed to the arrangement so Suraya could dig up more information about them.

As it turned out, Radbourne was dirty as dirty as politicians came, but he had nothing to do with the murders. Rather, he was mostly preoccupied with an individual named Morgan Trayton (Megatron), the same individual whom Omar Parvez (Orion Pax)  a friend of Sharifuddin’s, had mentioned as a great writer.

Radbourne asked Suraya to track down Morgan with an offer the man hopefully wouldn’t refuse and Suraya, intrigued about this man with what they’d heard about him from Omar, agreed to do so.

They found Morgan in a vast underground fighting ring in Moscow, and after voicing some skepticism about him walking his written talk, he allowed them to peek into his mind to see how genuine and committed he was to his cause, and it took them aback for a bit to meet someone who despite being mired in tragedy, had Sharifuddin’s desire to make a better world and the iron will to back it up.

They pledged themself to be among the first members of Morgan’s rising revolution (which was aided by Omar spreading his writings through an underground press) and told them about Radbourne’s offer to supply weapons and augmentations to increase profits from the pitfighting racket.

Morgan agreed if only to use these exact items against the Senate once he’d acquired an army.

It was during this time with Morgan that they also met Ramsey (Rumble) and Friedel (Frenzy), a pair of dwarf miners who the man had been friends with for years, and almost immediately got along with their boisterous, gregarious natures. 

They continued to be Radbourne’s liaison with Megatron until the start of the Clampdown when they watched Morgan kill the owner of the Pit, free those who wanted their freedom and take those who were loyal to him to meet with Sharifuddin to formally establish a rebellion.

It was about this time that Suraya found out that Radbourne had been conducting illegal experiments on Beast Men, something they took grave offense to, and they kept mining Radbourne for more information about where the experiments were taking place.

Upon finding out, they personally hunted down Radbourne as Stefan Scavarro (Starscream) initiated the Senate massacre to Radbourne’s labs, where he tried to fight them off only to finally find out the true extent of their abilities.

Badly-injured, his attempt at stopping them from freeing the captive Beast Men—-his “property” as he would yell at them—-ended up with him hurled into a genetic splicing pod (commissioned from a ‘Mesothulas’) which he accidentally activated.

The process twisted him into a Rat-Bat-human hybrid, and rather than kill him, Suraya decided to leave the option to the Beast Men he tortured for profit in what they saw as poetic justice.

After those who wanted vengeance were done with Radbourne, Suraya gave the  Beast Men the option of leaving free or coming with them to be a part of Morgan’s revolution which would ensure that they were never mistreated and ostracized by the larger world again.

Two of the Beast Men took up the offer; Bastien Saville (Buzzsaw) and Gan Go-eun (Glit).

When Morgan, confident in Suraya’s abilities asked them  to establish their own division focussed on spying and intel gathering, Suraya chose Ramiro, Lara, Ramsey, Friedel and Bastien to work alongside them.

While Suraya occasionally questions Morgan’s actions, two things they have never questioned are his dedication to his cause and the compassion he shows to those they care for, and it’s enough for them to consider themself a true Decepticon till the day his objectives are achieved.

[yandere-sins]

How about a fairytale scenario? A prince/princess/royal is in love with a very uninterested darling who manages to run away and make a deal with a witch who turns them into a monster in an attempt to make their yandere leave them alone? Maybe the cure is true loves kiss but since they don’t love the yandere it never works? Idk I think it’s an interesting concept and it’s been stuck in my head for a while

Ooooh! I like that! Very good idea anon, thanks for sending it in ♥

»»———————— ♡ ————————««     

“My Beloved!”

The prince’s voice made you flinch as it shook you from your nap. As good as you could, you heaved your giant head in the opposite direction from the door, pressing your snout to the cold stone wall. Its smell and temperature weren’t pleasant anymore, now that you were... well, whatever creature the witch had turned you into. Your heightened senses didn’t make it easier, now that you could smell every speck of mold and hear the scratching of tiny bug legs skittering through the stones.

The heavy, silver chains all over your body and limbs didn’t help either.

“We found a cure!” he claimed, his voice as sweet as honey, caring and hopeful, and yet so, so revolting since you knew the person behind it better than anyone else. It was easy to fool a kingdom with a sunny smile and encouraging speeches, but the one person he’d never trick again with his rotten personality was you.

Teeth clenched, you tried to ignore him, hoping he might be discouraged by seeing you unresponsive to his words. There had been too many potions, too many plants, he made you digest which were supposed to ‘help’ you, that you’d never want to even open your mouth anymore. You never even asked for his help; you just wanted him to leave you alone! When you hatched the plan of how to escape this fanatic, being recaptured by him and held in the dungeon, far away from anyone except the prince and the magicians he hired to ‘help’ you, wasn’t a part of it. You still blamed yourself that you hesitated to injure him worse than just breaking his arm when he found you. That you hesitated long enough for a bottled potion to hit you, bringing you down into a deep slumber and allowing them to bring you back to your personal hell that was the prince’s castle.

“My Beloved,” he repeated, this time in a tender whisper while he sank next to your disfigured body, a gentle hand coming down onto the fur of your front leg, caressing it comfortingly. “We’ve been wrong so many times...” he lamented, but you could hear the smile on his lips as he continued. “But finally, we know, and it’s no potion nor herb that will turn you back into a human.”

So what is it? you were inclined to ask, though you kept quiet. Just so you’d know what to avoid in the future.

“It’s a true love’s kiss,” he swooned, following it up with a deep sigh of longing. Your stomach churned as you heard his solution to your ‘problem’, but all you could muster was a haughty huff, thinking how you’d never love him. This wouldn’t work, you were already aware.

There was no way you could love the person that tore you from your family for his own amusement. Who humiliated you in front of other nobles so he could have some giggles, and yet, when you decided to run away from his maltreatment, chained you into his private room, sobbing into your lap of how he cannot live without you after keeping you there without food and water for days. What was real and what was fake about him was a thin line to discern, but you had been forced to stay long enough with the prince to not trust even one word of his. He’d try to suck up to you with presents and food, promising the world to you. And then, the moment you said you didn’t like what he did, he’d turn his back on this love he swore to harbor for you, punishing you and threatening to hurt your family too if you’d ever break his heart again.

It was then that you figured out he was lonely, but at the same time, you couldn’t help but be scared of his actions.

“You know there is no one else, no human nor monster, that adores you as much as I do. Thus, I will lift this curse from you, my Dearest! There isn’t anyone else who can do it. Right?”

Hearing his question made you not want to move your head in his direction all the more. But even with one hand, the prince knew where to touch for it to be uncomfortable. That damn spot under your throat made you flinch when you felt his fingertips drag over it, and you raised your head as far as the chain holding you down allowed. Growling at him didn’t concern the prince at all as he scooted closer, his hand falling to the side of your head, his face burying into the soft fur that covered all of your newly-obtained body.

Secretly, you wished that someone would come to save you from all this. Not particularly your new monstrous form, but rather, the prince and his doings. You wanted a real prince in shining armor to come and kiss you, whisk you away on his pretty, white steed. Never to be seen again. That would be your dream. This act and tragedy had been going on too long, and you feared that as it was, it would never end in a happy ending for you.

The prince kissed you between your eyes, observing if anything was happening for a few seconds before his lips proceeded down your snout. After every caress, he stopped, watching if anything changed. As you glanced briefly into his eyes, you saw the frustration grow. It would have been easier if it had worked - you had to admit - for both of you. Because every kiss more he had to watch fail, the more he grew unrestraint, his expression darkening and teeth clenching hard while his hand began to shake from frustration, or perhaps anger already.

“Why is it not working?” he asked as if he expected you to answer him. However, if it wasn’t a growl or whine, your vocal cords didn’t speak the same language anymore. Surely, there would have been a lot you would have told him if you could have opened your mouth and spoken. But this way, and much to your own surprise, he had to figure it out himself.

“Is it because you don’t love me?” he asked, fingers tangling into your fur harshly. “That’s what you said, right? That you don’t love me.”

A short, desperate laugh escaped him as he looked up and stared down at you with wide eyes. “It’s supposed to be a true love’s kiss, don’t you understand? Are you too stupid to even understand that? Do you want to stay like this, looking like a rotten mutt? Do you hate me so much?”

His questions were unanswered, even as he yanked hard at your fur, a stinging pain shooting through your face. “Answer me!” he demanded, screaming it into the void that was the dungeon where no one but you and him resided. “Ha... Hahaha...”

His laugh was muffled by his hand tearing away from you and instead clasping over his face, making him take a deep breath. “That’s okay. You’ll have a lot of time to learn to love me. Or you rot down here, it’s your decision.”

Standing up, the prince left you behind, a pitiful pile of meat and hair, chained to the ground by the most expensive chains he could buy from all the money he possessed. How much did it anger him, you wondered, that even though he had everything, he couldn’t have you?

“Don’t forget.” Glancing over his shoulder, the heavy doors slowly closed behind him. “You can be with me forever, or you can die here alone. No one mourns such a hideous creature when it’s gone. Only I can love you as you are now, but you lack choices. My darling Monster.”

With the prince disappearing together with the light of the torches, you were cast into the darkness reigning in your new home. Alone, pitiful, quiet. Restraint and captured as nothing more than the beast of a kingdom. It was the same darkness that never let you forget who and what you were.

Nothing. You were nothing without the prince who walked in the light while being the darkness himself.

[raineydays411]

Oh, what am I supposed to do without you

Loki x daughter!reader

Summary: Loki thought he was in a good place. He was married, happy and having a child. He should’ve known the universe wasn’t that kind.

A/N: God I’m so sorry about this one lol. Not much of the reader but I will be  making a second part. I hope yall like this one though. Inspiration came from “Mr, Loverman” and this fic.

Master list

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The silence was rattling. It creeped into the room, slowly,menacingly. Threatening to make him go mad. It wrapped around his body like a familiar friend. Making it hard for him to breath as it suffocated him. He knew they were staring at him. Trying to figure out what he would do next, whether he would break or not. Truthfully he didn’t know what he would do. For now he just starred as well. Not at them, of course not. He stared at the one thing that mattered. His reason for waking up and living. The one person in this entire universe who gave his world color. He reached out to touch her. Touch the hands that were always so warm against his cold skin. Hands that held his firm and sure as she pulled him along behind her, a smile on her beautiful face. Hands that were now cold and limp, the radicant glow she had been known for gone dark. The colors she brought to his world dimmed to dull, gre, muted hues. Then a sound broke through the silence. two sounds actually. One a wail of new life, a baby taking her first breaths, and another. A wail of a man who has lost everything. A wail of agony and pain.

As the healers bustled around him, Loki had only one thought in his head. 

“What am I supposed to do without you”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Three months later and Loki still felt the emptiness left by his love. He heard her at night, humming sweet melodies as she stroked his hair. He hears her heartbeat as he eventually falls asleep, worn out by his constant tears. His room is in shambles, his clothes strewn about the floor, furniture smashed, everything is destroyed. Except for the things that belong to her. Her silk dresses that draped on her body perfectly were still hanging, untouched. The books she spent hours reading and re-reading remained on the shelf, collecting dust as they were no longer used. He doesn’t let anyone in their chambers. The space where they both shared. Space where they fought, made up, made love. To let someone else in would be tainting it. Soiling the memories they made together. That was one thing he could never do.

Another was look at the little monster who is responsible for this tragedy.

It was a girl. The daughter of one Loki Odinson and his beloved. 

Ironic. This child was supposed to bring happiness with its birth. Not even cleaned and it already managed to take away Loki’s light. He can barely stand looking at it. He tried, of course  he tried. But within minutes he had to call the nurse to take it away. Why? 

Because she has her mothers eyes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Loki”

“Get out”

“Loki, it's been nine months since your child was--”

“THAT THING IS NO CHILD OF MINE”

Frigga was taken aback. She knew her son was heartbroken, devastated at the loss of his wife. But to disown his daughter, that was something she didn’t see coming. 

“Loki, you are being unreasonable.”

“Unreasonable? My wife has died because if that creature--”

“It is a child. A babe who has no idea who her father nor her mother is.”

“And as far as I’m concerned she never will!” Loki shouts, finally looking up at his mother. 

Frigga heart breaks for her son. She sees the utter agony he is in, the inner torment going on in his soul. Even if she didn’t see it in his face, the state of his room and self gives it away. He looks like he hasn’t bathed in the nine months that has passed. His clothes were rumpled and wrinkled, hair unkempt and wild. His face was pale and hollow, as if he was only eating enough to survive. He had dark bags under his eyes that showed that he hasn’t been sleeping well.  He truly was a man who was broken, almost beyond repair. 

“My son” Frigga said carefully,” I can never understand the pain you are going through, I pray to Valhalla I will not have to anytime soon. But please if not for yourself or that child, for the memory of her, attempt to see your daughter before making a rash decision.” And with that, she walked out of his chamber, leaving Loki to the silence again as he stared at the spot his mother stood. considering her words, he got up. picked up his room, went to bathe and walked out of the room for the first time in nine months. 

His face held no emotion as he walked down the hallways. He saw the servants stop and stare at him, shock filled their face as they saw the prince. He glared at them, sending them scurrying at the dark glance. He reached the nursery, the maid who oversaw the nursery tried to stop him. 

“My lord, you--” 

“Where is the child.” He said, calm and cool. The maid looked at him in fear, not knowing how to respond. At her silence, Loki scoffed and pushed her away, marching into the nursery. Upon entering he froze, memories of him and his beloved discussing the design they wanted for their child

**“Darling, why does the color shade matter? It’s not like the child has expectations.”

Laughter fills the air, “Loki, we must put every effort into showing our child they are loved. That includes finding the perfect shade of green to go with the room”

Loki looks at his wife, gently smiling.”If you say so my dear”**

The room was perfect. The walls were a beautiful shade of green that allowed the light into the room. There were vines and flowers crawling up the walls and draped over curtains. A white and gold crib stood in the middle of the chamber. A veil draped over it, preventing Loki from seeing the child inside. He was thankful as he worked up the courage to walk up to it. He looked out the window, seeing the stars that covered the sky, the lights of Asgard covering the earth. 

She would have loved it.

He took a deep breath and walked toward the crib. He pulled back the veil only to see that there was no child in there. 

“The babe is with your mother my lord.”

He turned to the maid. Embarrassed that she might have witnessed him reminiscing.

“And where is my mother” He asked

“In-in the dining hal--” 

He walked away before she was able to finish her sentence. He took long strides to the hall, wondering his his mother had tricked him into eating with the family.On the way, he passed a window overlooking the garden. He thinks of the times where he used to sit in it and listen to her read.

***  “...exquisite, in question more. These happy masks that kiss fair ladies’ brows”

“My love, why do you insist on reading these midgardian stories?”

Her laughter  reaches his ears, “Because beloved, it's a different perspective to something familiar”

“Oh? and what is that ?” 

“Love”  ***

“oki--”

Hearing his name, Loki is brought back to present times once more. He looks to see Thor, watching him with careful eyes. 

“Brother, it is wonderful to see you.”

“I wish I can say the same.”

Thor laughs, a soft chuckle compared to the booming laughter Loki knows he is capable of. 

“Ah Loki, your dry wit has been missed”

Loki rolls his eyes and starts walking and Thor follows. The two walking in silence. 

“What is it like?” Loki says softly. Thor looks at him in confusion.

“It?” 

“The child.”

“Oh brother, Y/n is--”

“Y/n?” 

That was the name she wanted. If they were to have a girl. She was determined, seeing the name in the book she loved to read. He remembers when they were telling his family she was with child.

*** Everyone was seated, servants bustling around the long table. Laughter filled the hall as the sun was setting. 

“Loki, you said you had news to tell us” Frigga said, taking a sip of her wine. 

Loki smiled, looking at his wife. Her face absolutely radiant as she flashes a smile of pure joy.

“ Well,” Loki waits till Thor has taken a large swig of ale, “ My beloved and are are expecting a child.” 

Gasps fill the room as well as Thor's hacking, ale being spewed on the table. 

“Oh Loki that is wonderful!!”  Frigga exclaims standing from her seat to embrace him. “Oh my dear, this is the most wonderous news,” 

“BROTHER I can’t believe it!” Thor exclaims, lifting Loki in a crushing hug. And for once, he didn’t mind it.  He turns to her and hugs her more gently. “ You are just full of surprises aren’t you, starlight”

Laughter, “Thor, I thought I told you to stop calling me that”

Silence fills the hall as Odin clears his throat, “ Loki, you have made me proud.”

Loki smiles as his love beams at him. 

“Thank you father.”**

They reached the dining hall. A cold feeling formed in the pits of his stomach. He can see his mother, talking with a maid as she bounces the child. He can’t see it, as Frigga's back is turned to him. Odin’s presence is notably absent, a small relief on Loki's part. 

Thor notices his brother’s nerves, he pats him on the back and says, “You can do this Loki.” Then walks off to join his mother. He kisses his mothers cheek and smiles at the child. He picks her up, bouncing her a few times  prompting a small laugh. Loki gimances at the sound. 

Thor walks up to him with the baby. 

“Loki, this is Y/n Odinson”

He looks at the child. He takes in its features, Beautiful curly hair, already thick and voluminous even at this age. Brown skin, unblemished and clean. Cheeks, chubby with baby fat. And...its eyes. Those damn eyes, he could barely stand it, (e/c) eyes, the same as his lost love. In fact, almost all it’s features that once belonged to his darling. A pain filled his body. He really couldn’t stand looking at this child. 

Not when his beloved wasn’t there to gaze upon their child as well. 

No, this was not his child. Not anymore. 

“Get rid of it.” 

Shock filled the faces of both Thor and Frigga. 

“Loki you cannot be serious.”

“Brother..”

“I SAID GET RID OF IT” Loki shouts. “I DO NOT WANT TO SEE THAT LITTLE MONSTER.” 

And with that he leaves the dining hall. Leaving behind  his mother, brother and the last piece of his wife he had. He hears it’s cries fill the silence.

He had only one thought in his head as he entered his chambers.

“What am I supposed to do without you”

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[kaythefloppa]

My "Take" on Kopa's Death + HC

Am I the only one who thinks the whole "Zira killed Kopa" theory makes no sense when you look into it? Because to me, there are a lot of holes that this theory brings.

Simba was ready to kick Scar's ass when he saw him put his hands on his mother, and Nala was the first to jump at Scar when finding out he was a murdering piece of shit.

If they found out that Zira killed Kopa as retaliation for an act that he was innocent of, there would've been nothing stopping either of them from icing the bitch. And I believe that they definitely would've done more to keep Kiara safe than sending a meerkat and a warthog after her (that's not even going into how Simba would never send his young son to defend the country if he had lost his first-born to violence).

To put it simply, the way I see it, if Simba and Nala lost their son to any sort of violence or major Shakespearian-like tragedy it would've had a horrible effect on them later on.

So here's my HC on Kopa's story and his absence from the second film that I personally believe would make more sense in my timeline:

Going by human years (because I think it would be more interesting and complex for them to age like humans, and to make guessing characters' ages easier), Kopa/Fluffy would be a year older than Kiara and Kion.

Kopa was presented as the future King of the Pridelands, meanwhile Kiara was presented as the second-in-line for the throne if something happened to Kopa (girls wouldn't be allowed on the Lion Guard until Kion's leadership, but I can see Simba making an exception to present Kiara to the Pridelands).

Kion wouldn't be born until a year after that. So all 3 cubs have a one-year gap between one another:

[Events in my HC that follow come after the presentations of the two cubs we see in the films + Kion's off-screen birth, but before Kiara's first scene as a cub in TLK II]

Simba and Nala spent most of their time teaching Kopa the ways of monarchy and how to become a good King, to which Kopa was very excited to become. When Kopa was 6, he met the hyena cub, Asante, who turned out to be the daughter of Shenzi, Banzai, and Ed, the 3 hyenas who aided Scar in taking over the Pridelands.

Kiara, as next-in-line for the throne, and Kion, who would become leader of the Lion Guard despite not yet knowing it, would try and tag along with Kopa, but he'd often be too busy hanging out with his other friends, or being mentored by his parents + grandparents: So whilst they loved him and supported him, they were never the closest to him.

Things were relatively stable up until Kopa's 9th birthday: Kopa caught an infection (be it the flu or whatever you may). Everyone at first worked to heal him, but eventually learned that Kopa would not survive:

So ultimately, the pride had to say goodbye to Kopa and accept his loss. Obviously it wasn't easy for any of them, but they were able to slowly get over the loss, including Kopa's siblings:

No violent or sudden death. Just the Circle of Life, (at its cruelest).

Kopa and Kiara were 8 and 6 by then. Kiara would meet Kovu when she was 9 and Kion was 8. By the time Kiara and Kion were both in double-digits is when the events of TLG come up.

[bbangsoonie]

11:11

member: changmin (q) genre: angst word count: 6,802 synopsis: when changmin finds himself trapped in the past, repeating the day of your death, he’s convinced that he’s been given a chance to save you. warning(s): death

Changmin woke up with a dreading feeling. He hadn’t set an alarm despite it being a weekday. He was hoping to sleep through the day and wake up the next morning. Unfortunately for him, the sleeping pills he took the night before only allowed him rest until noon.

He checked his phone, staring at the date. A year had officially passed by since that fateful day. Groaning, he threw his phone back onto his bed. He stayed under the blanket for a while, not wanting to get up. However, the sunlight shining through his window refused to let him go back to sleep.

Declaring defeat, he sat up and scowled at the sun. It was annoyingly bright today. The weather had no regard for his mood and was unusually warm for a winter day. It pissed him off.

He heard his phone vibrate and chose to ignore what he guessed was Chanhee’s daily check in. Still not fully awake, Changmin walked towards his fridge to grab a cold water bottle. After gulping half of it down, he let out a sigh.

His brain was still at war with himself. Half of it felt obligated to visit you and half of it wanted to drown his feelings in alcohol. He stood there, zoning out, contemplating his options.

Eventually, his guilt triumphed and he found himself throwing on whatever clean clothes he could find. He trudged out of his apartment and down the stairs. On his way to the main road to find a taxi, he passed by a flower shop. The same sense of obligation from earlier made him backtrack and step inside.

It had been over a year since he last visited the place. It felt strange to be back. The emotions he came here with were entirely different from the emotions he had back then.

He asked the worker for a small bouquet of daisies and muttered a word of thanks after receiving his change. After flagging down a taxi, he braced himself for the long ride.

The car escaped from the noisy city and headed towards a more remote area. He almost laughed, remembering how often you would mention that you wanted to be buried in nature and not locked up in a jar behind glass. He used to always chide you for thinking of and planning for your death but in the end, you had been the insightful one. He never thought he’d be traveling to your grave—at least not while he was still in his twenties.

When he finally arrived, his feet rooted itself and he couldn’t bear to walk further. He hadn’t been here since your burial a year ago. A wave of embarrassment suddenly hit him. He truly was an asshole to you until the end. He couldn’t even make things up to you even after your passing.

He hadn’t made any efforts to visit you but it was painfully obvious to those around him that he was still grieving. He blamed himself for letting you die. That burden prevented him from continuing to live life without you. His friends watched as he willingly ruined his own life. He gave up dance and even came to resent music. He spent the past year surviving and not living; he filled his time with part time jobs that would earn him the money he needed for rent and food.

In Changmin’s mind, he didn’t deserve to be happy when your life was cut short. He wished so badly that he could trade places with you.

With another sigh, he made his way towards your grave. He could tell your family stopped by earlier that morning. Someone had left a big bouquet of pink flowers for you. Beside it was a photo of you smiling, oblivious to the tragedy that would occur just a few months after it was taken.

He forced a smile, recalling how you used to complain about how everyone would bring you pink flowers instead of daisies for every occasion. Daisies were your favorite flower and Changmin was the only one who ever remembered.

He placed his own bouquet down and sat next to it. Holding up your photo, he spoke to it as if you would reply.

“It’s been a while hasn’t it, Y/n?” he attempted to say in a cheery voice. “I’m sorry it took me so long to come back. I… I was afraid. Seeing you like this really makes reality hit as if waking up in an empty bed isn’t a strong enough reminder.”

He set the picture down and turned around to face your headstone. Hesitantly, he wiped at a spot and fell into silence. 

“Everyone tells me that the accident wasn’t my fault. I don’t believe it but even if it was true, I still hate myself for letting you leave when the last words I said to you weren’t that I love you. Not only did you die a painful death, but you died with the hurt I inflicted on your heart,” his voice cracked as he choked back tears.

Flashbacks of that day flooded his memory. He winced, finally confronting what he couldn’t for a year.

Changmin had left the dance studio angry. Angry at himself. Angry at his inability to perfect the choreography. Unlucky timing had you outside waiting for him to finish. He had planned on blowing off some steam by meeting Sunwoo for drinks but was stopped by you. You had noticed how upset he was and wanted to cheer him up but was brushed off.

Changmin knew he was snappy when he was pissed and didn’t want you to be on the receiving end. He wanted to spare you from walking on eggshells around him and knew that Sunwoo would quietly let him rant without getting hurt by his actions or words. Instead of clarifying, however, he let you misunderstand and walked away.

You watched him leave, staring at his back. The past month with him had been rocky. You knew he was stressed from preparing for the upcoming competition but you still missed the bubbly Changmin. Nowadays, he was more sensitive and on edge than happy and affectionate.

You had bought matching couple rings in hopes of brightening up his mood. They were simple rings made of silver and meant for the pinky finger. It was to symbolize your promises to each other—to always love and appreciate each other. Yours was already on your pinky but his was left in the box you were hiding in your pocket. You sighed and figured that you’d get the chance to give it to him later.

Except that chance never came. Changmin only came across that ring later when he found it on his table back at his place.

“You know, I left you knowing you probably thought I was irritated with you too. It was because I assumed I’d get to clear that up later. Like always. But later never came,” he fidgeted with the ring that now never left his own pinky.

What a cruel way to teach him a lesson.

“I guess at one point, I started taking you for granted. Taking our time together for granted. Who would've known that death would literally do us part before we even made our vows?” he chuckled at the irony. “I never told you but I intended on proposing to you as soon as we graduated. I got ahead of myself and was planning things way in advance. Would you believe me if I said I already decided where to go for our honeymoon?”

He could almost hear you laugh. If you were next to him, you’d lean on his shoulder as you doubled over in laughter. You had loved and teased him for his sweet side.

“That’s how sure I was that we’d get forever together. You spent the rest of your life with me but now I have the rest of my life ahead of me without you. A little unfair, don’t you think?”

Changmin had so many regrets. He wanted nothing but to go back in time and re-do things. After bottling everything inside him for a full year, everything was spilling out now that he was there with you.

You and Changmin hadn’t moved in together but you often slept over. That day, you waited until night for him to come home. He never did.

Sunwoo had called you from the restaurant they were at, asking you to come pick Changmin up. He wasn’t completely wasted but he was definitely too drunk to go home by himself. Sunwoo apologized, saying he couldn’t take him home because he had a prior arrangement to attend.

So you ended up sitting across from your boyfriend, waiting for him to sober up a little more before leaving the restaurant. This was not how you thought you would spend your anniversary with him. When he stormed off from the dance studio after spending the whole day there, you had already presumed he forgot what day it was for you two. You tried to be understanding, knowing that he felt extreme pressure about the competition.

You didn’t expect any gifts but you had hoped that you would at least have dinner together. But now that was also out of the window. You suppressed your annoyance and reminded yourself of how happy Changmin was when he was dancing. You wanted to be supportive of him.

“Why did you come here?” Changmin asked. Something about his tone irked you.

“What?” you frowned.

“I’m a fully grown man who can find his way back home fine,” his words dug a knife into your heart. You wondered if he forgot that you were the reason why he made it home safe and sound after drinking.

“You should be thankful that I always take care of your drunk ass,” you huffed. “You know, you can’t just count on me to do all these things for you. I do it because I want to but that doesn’t mean I don’t deserve to be appreciated.”

“That’s not what I meant and you know it,” he sighed.

You hated that look on his face. He had that look often nowadays. That tired look that screamed that he was too tired to even argue with you. It scared you. Even arguing took interest that he didn’t seem to give you these days. You would rather fight with him than live in such silence.

So you did. You exploded at him.

“No, Changmin, I don’t know. I never know what you’re thinking anymore. You don’t tell me anything and just assume that I can read your mind. And it feels like I’m expected to play the role of your girlfriend when you don’t even act like my boyfriend. You need to take a step back and realize how grateful we should be towards each other.”

After your outburst, you waited for his response. You waited for him to either yell back or apologize. Anything to show that he still cared. Instead, he said something that made you wish that he just didn’t say anything at all.

“Why are you being like this today?”

You felt the knife dig deeper into your heart and his words stunned you into silence.

“You’ve changed,” you whispered.

And with that, you got up and left. Realizing he screwed up, Changmin ran out to chase you. It had gotten late and dark while he was inside and the sky was now pouring buckets. Without an umbrella, you were getting hit by the rain that hid the tears wetting your cheeks. When he finally caught up to you, he grabbed onto your wrist and spun you around to face him.

“You asked why I’m being like this? Today? Well, news flash, Changmin. Today’s our third year anniversary but I guess I’m the only one who cared to remember,” you cried.

His heart shattered at the sight of your face. He never meant to upset you. And he certainly didn’t mean to forget your anniversary. It had slipped his mind while he was focused on practicing. All that seemed futile when he saw the pain on your face.

You didn’t give him a chance to reply and shook his grip off of you. Wanting to avoid him, you ran to cross the street before the light turned red. At that moment, however, a car failed to break in time and the rain caused the driver to lose control.

Changmin’s eyes widened as he watched the vehicle crash into you. The noise was terrifying but seeing your body fly in the air and fall to the ground was even more horrifying. His legs moved before his brain processed the scene he just witnessed. He ran to your side and tried to shake you awake. His hand trembled when he saw that it was bloodied by the wound on your head.

The driver came out of the car, feeling both disbelief and guilt about what just happened. Changmin screamed at him to call the ambulance before returning his attention back to you. He begged you to stay alive but you took your last breath that night at 11:11.

After Changmin came back to Seoul, Chanhee caught him outside of his apartment and dragged him to dinner. He knew that his friend would be mourning all day and not remember to eat. So they went to a nearby restaurant and he practically had to shove the soup into his mouth.

By the time Changmin arrived home, it was late. He washed up and plopped onto his bed, wishing the day would hurry up and come to an end. Staring at the ceiling, he waited for sleep to take him out of his misery for a while. Eventually, his fatigue took over and he fell asleep the second the clock turned to 11:11.

When he awoke, he didn’t feel as groggy as he normally did. He felt strangely well rested. Wondering how long he had slept for, he checked his phone for the time. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion when he saw the date. It was yesterday’s date but with the previous year. He figured it was a cruel glitch on the device’s part and threw it back down.

He got up to get ready for his shift and fumbled around to look for the sneakers he just recently purchased. No matter how hard he looked, it was nowhere to be found. He found it odd but settled for an old pair of sneakers he hadn’t worn in a while.

After he put them on, he turned the doorknob to leave. He swung the door open and was shocked at the sight in front of him. You were standing there, holding a bag of groceries. Just like you did a year ago.

“Uh Changmin?” you stared at him, waiting for him to move so you could walk in.

Changmin was speechless. His brain felt like it stopped functioning; he didn’t know how to react to the familiar scene in front of him.

“Is this a dream?” he asked out loud.

His heart was racing. You hadn’t shown up in his dreams in so long. Now that you appeared to him, there were so many things he wanted to tell you. He wanted to tell you that he didn’t mean to hurt you. That he was sorry. But in that moment, all he could manage to do was pull you in for a hug.

“Is something wrong, baby?” you asked.

“Everything. N-nothing,” he stuttered.

Was he supposed to talk to you about everything that happened? Was he supposed to just enjoy reliving this day? He couldn’t decide.

You chuckled at the peculiarity of your boyfriend, finding him endearing. You motioned for him to move over and let you in, which he complied while still in a daze. You placed the groceries on the table and began to put away what needed to be refrigerated.

“Are you going to the studio to practice today as well?” you asked, opening a small carton of milk for your boyfriend.

He slowly took the drink you handed him and nodded. He then shook his head, not wanting to repeat his mistakes.

“Today’s our anniversary. We should do something special,” he suggested.

You lit up, excited to go on a date with him. You were glad you chose to dress up today.

“What do you have in mind?” you asked.

“Hmm how about that art gallery you’ve been wanting to go to?” he smiled at your happy expression. “I haven’t had lunch yet so we can eat some pasta before we go.”

So you two headed out to your favorite Italian restaurant and he ordered a bunch of dishes. You had protested, insisting that you wouldn’t be able to finish but he insisted that he wanted to spoil you that day.

He felt like he was on cloud nine as he watched you enjoy your meal. He missed this. He missed seeing you wiggle in your seat because of how good the food was. He missed cutting your steak for you because you were clumsy with knives. He hoped the dream wouldn’t end any time soon.

Noticing that he wasn’t eating much, you picked up a slice of pizza and held it in front of his mouth. His cheeks filled up after he took a bite and you laughed at how cute he looked. Your laughter prompted him to laugh as well, showing off his dimples that you loved.

You left the restaurant stuffed and was ready to fall into a food coma. Yet you couldn’t refuse when Changmin bought you your favorite ice cream. You strongly believed that people had a second stomach for dessert. You walked with the ice cream in one hand and with Changmin’s hand in the other. You stuck closer to him and leaned your head on his shoulder. He turned to look at you and didn’t want to ever look away.

After spending a couple of hours at the art gallery, you found an arcade and tugged him inside. You bet on dinner over three rounds of a vintage game, which you won. You cheered when your victory flashed across the screen, making him chuckle. To be honest, he let you win by pretending to slip up at the end but seeing your joy was worth it.

To Changmin’s discomfort, you chose the samgyupsal place that you two had fought at. Of course, you didn’t know that and just wanted to spend the night eating meat and drinking beer. Although hesitant, he agreed to your menu selection.

Changmin was indescribably elated to be able to sit and chat with you for hours. He didn’t even notice the rainstorm that began once again outside. He was too busy listening to you talk about one of your assignments for a random elective class you took but ended up liking. You rambled on about how your professor was extremely kind and lenient with grading.

By the end of the night, you two left the restaurant and he grew anxious, anticipating the end of the dream. You took notice of his sudden change in demeanor and questioned him about it. Before you could hear an answer, however, your hat was snatched and taken away by the wind. Not wanting it to get wet and dirty, you chased after it.

It all happened so fast. Again. Just as you were about to catch the hat, it blew further away, causing you to step out into the road. And again, there was nothing Changmin could do about the car that crashed into you.

This time, Changmin woke up with the feeling of falling from a tall height. The sensation startled him awake and he jumped up gasping. He scanned his surroundings, unsure of what he just experienced.

“A blissful dream turned into yet another nightmare,” he groaned.

He paused, reaching out for his phone to check the date. Both his jaw and phone dropped at the repeated date.

“No way,” he muttered. He shook his head, refusing to believe what was happening. “This doesn’t make any sense.”

He racked his brain for any plausible explanations. Surely this was another dream. A dream within a dream. Or maybe he’d finally lost it and was hallucinating everything. Believing in the latter, he made up his mind to finally go to the therapist Chanhee had been bugging him to go to. He quickly got dressed and put his shoes to head out. He paused when his hand grabbed the door.

“Surely it won’t happen again… right?” he wondered out loud.

To his surprise, you were there again on the other side of the door when he opened it. Trying to figure out what was going on, he slammed the door shut and froze. Outside, you blinked at the door in your face. Puzzled at your boyfriend’s behavior, you knocked.

Inside, Changmin flinched at the sudden noise. He was bewildered and beyond confused. This had to be a joke. Or a dream. Or a hallucination. How could you be real? There was no way you were actually back.

Or maybe, it was his chance to set things right. Maybe, if he did everything right, he could prevent your death. The idea sounded ingenious and insane to him. Taking a leap of faith, he flung the door back open and gazed at you. Still skeptical, he extended his hand out to hold yours. It felt warm, unlike the last time he held it in the rain. He wanted to cry in both shock and joy. He swallowed the lump rising in his throat and took the groceries from you.

“Are you okay, baby?” you asked, following him inside.

“I’m okay as long as you’re with me,” he said in a shaky voice.

You chuckled as you began to organize the groceries just like you did the day before.

“Are you going to the studio to practice today as well?” you asked, opening a small carton of milk.

Changmin stared at the milk you offered again. So many thoughts ran through his head as he tried to understand the situation. He determined that this was a blessing. He was given an opportunity to go back in time and change things. To save you.

“Let’s go watch a movie today,” he said.

He thought out and planned the rest of the day. He would sneak out in the middle of the movie to go buy a present for you. Using the excuse of an upset stomach, he went and bought a necklace he had been eyeing for months. It was quite expensive so he had saved up little by little and now he could finally afford to give it to you.

With the corner of his eye, he saw a couple looking at the ring section together. As if caught in a trance, he found himself walking towards the engagement rings. He gaped at the endless options of diamonds that sparkled as bright as your eyes. He bit his lip, contemplating if he should buy a ring as well. He initially wanted to wait until you both graduated but graduation never came for you. It was one of the biggest regrets of his life.

So he carefully took a look at the rows of rings until he saw one that immediately felt like it was meant for you. He quickly asked the worker to help him with his purchase and ran back into the theater to finish the rest of the movie with you.

You didn’t suspect a thing until he took the necklace out after lunch and put it on for you. You beamed at the surprise gift, eager to show him yours. Shyly, you retrieved the couple ring from your purse.

“It’s a promise ring meant for your pinky,” you explained as you slid it onto his finger. “A promise to always love and appreciate each other.”

He smiled at how proud you looked.

“See?” you showed him the ring on your own pinky.

“I love it,” he held his hand next to yours, admiring the view. “But uh I actually have a ring for you as well.”

With his heart pounding, he pulled out the square box and stood up. He took a deep breath before getting down on one knee, making you gasp. You felt tears brimming your eyes as he opened the box to reveal the diamond ring.

Watching proposal videos had always made you cringe. You didn’t get why people would cry. But in that moment, it all made sense when you found yourself unable to verbally reply. As a college student, you never expected him to propose. Sure, you had thought of marrying him but that seemed like such a faraway idea. You knew Changmin would always be in your future and didn’t see yourself marrying anyone else but him. So you managed to nod before he placed the ring on your finger.

“I know the timing may seem premature but with you, I want to have the courage to do what my heart desires. I want to see you walk down the aisle towards me. I want to show the world that I’m yours. I want to spend our honeymoon at Bora Bora and have two kids together. I want to raise a dog with you, just like you always dreamed of. I want to spend the rest of my life with you,” he confessed.

After hearing his words, you couldn’t hold back your tears anymore. He embraced you in his arms and you buried your face into his chest as you sniffled. Resting his chin on your head, he wished time would stop. All he wanted was to stay in this moment forever.

By the time night approached again, he made sure to keep you away from the street and from any vehicles. You wondered why he was being so overprotective and clinging onto you. He didn’t offer an explanation and just gave you a nervous smile.

Looking at his watch, he let out a deep breath when he saw that it was almost 11 PM. His leg shook anxiously as he held your hand tighter. You had insisted on enjoying the sounds of the city in the rain so you two were sitting at a random bus stop.

All of a sudden, the cry of a child was heard. You turned around to see a little girl who seemed to be lost. You stood up to go help but Changmin sat you back down.

“You stay here. I’ll go,” he said, feeling uneasy.

While he brought the little girl to the bus stop to avoid the rain, a young boy caught your attention. He was playing with a ball and you wanted to warn him to be careful. Before you could open your mouth, however, he dropped the ball and ran into the street to get it back. You panicked, seeing a motorcycle speeding towards the kid.

You ran out to pull the child back but was hit instead. Changmin’s heart dropped at the sound of the collision. When he turned back to find you, you were laying on the wet ground with blood pooling around you. Seeing you die for the third time wasn’t any less traumatic. In fact, it broke him even more. He hated himself for letting it happen again.

“Y/n, please please wake up,” he begged as he held your face in his hands. “You can’t leave me. Not again. I promised myself that I would change your fate. Y/n, please!”

Every time Changmin woke up, that day repeated itself. And each time, he would try to keep you alive. But no matter how hard he tried, that cursed time of 11:11 always ended his brief time with you with the same outcome.

When he kept you inside, you fell down the stairs. When he tried to make you sleep by tucking you in early, you never woke up. Thinking it was Seoul that was the problem, he even took you down to Busan. Paranoid, he even spent the whole day and night with you at his place. But every time the clock hit 11:11, the inevitable would occur and he would wake up to repeat it once again.

The seventh time he awoke to the same day, he screamed in frustration.

“What the hell am I supposed to do?” he yelled out.

He cried into his sleeves, wondering if this was his punishment for being unable to save you. While he wallowed in grief, he heard you knock on his door. He wiped away his tears and got up to greet you. Oblivious to his mood, you walked in and opened the refrigerator like you did the previous times.

“Are you going to the studio to practice today as well?” you asked, opening a small carton of milk.

“Let’s just stay in today. I’ll cook you something,” he bitterly smiled when he saw that the engagement ring was no longer on your finger.

He rummaged through his kitchen, looking for ingredients. You sat down next to the counter and watched as he made you kimchi fried rice. You enjoyed watching him cook. He didn’t do it often because he wasn’t very confident about his skills but you loved the gesture. You thought it was cute when he had that concentrated look he usually saved for dancing.

After lunch, you spent the next few hours watching movies. You had eventually noticed how sad he was. You looked over at your boyfriend who seemed preoccupied with his own thoughts. Mustering up some bravery, you proposed watching a horror movie. You knew it was his favorite genre but didn’t watch scary movies with him often because you got scared easily. Slightly surprised by your suggestion, he agreed and let you choose one of the recommended movies on Netflix.

At every jump scare, you snuggled closer to him. Throughout the whole film, you clung onto his arm and he comforted you by stroking your head. Treasuring the time he got to spend with you, he allowed himself to feel at ease for a bit.

For dinner, you convinced him to go out to eat. On the way back, he lured you into a gift shop, kicking himself for not preparing a present ahead of time. While you were busy looking at the dolls, he managed to pick out a bracelet and slid it into his pocket after secretly paying for it. He knew it would be gone when the day reset and dreaded having to see your listless body again later.

When you two returned back to his place, he couldn’t keep his eyes off of you. He wanted to savor every second he was able to spend with you. Noticing his gaze, you stared at him back, bringing a smile to his face. You poked his dimple, laughing at his expression.

“So I got you a little something. I hope you didn’t think that I forgot our anniversary,” he said as he put it on your wrist.

Smiling, you took out the gift you had prepared.

“It’s a promise ring meant for your pinky,” you said as you slid the ring onto his finger. “A promise to always love and appreciate each other.”

“See?” you revealed the ring on your own finger.

After hearing those words for the nth time, he finally broke down. He began to bawl, catching you off guard. For a few minutes, he wept as you tried to soothe him.

“Okay, spill. What’s been bothering you all day, Changmin?” you demanded.

He sighed, knowing what he was about to say was insane. He didn’t want to scare you but it all came out as word vomit.

“I’ve been reliving this day multiple times. I know it sounds crazy—it is crazy—but I was sent back in time. It’s actually supposed to be a year from now, a day after today. But instead, I’m stuck in this endless loop trying to save you. You died, Y/n. You died a year ago and you keep dying again and again! I thought I was given this opportunity because of all the regrets I had. The day you died, I was a complete jerk and you got into an accident after we argued. I blamed and resented myself. I had so many “what if’s” and “if only’s” that it tormented me,” he paused to catch his breath.

“I thought I had to repeat this day until I successfully prevented your death but nothing’s working. I can’t change things!” he cried. “I’ve tried over and over and over again. I’ve tried keeping you away from the street, taking you out of the city, and even locking us up in this damn apartment and nothing’s working! Every time 11:11 comes around, the same conclusion happens.”

You sat in silence, unsure of how to process all the information he just threw at you. He was way too emotional for this to be a joke and too upset for it to be unreal. But at the same time, you wanted it to be fake. You didn’t want to believe it. You were still so young. You had hopes and dreams you had yet to achieve. You wanted to crumble but you couldn’t bear to do so after seeing how heartbroken Changmin was. After thinking for some time, you finally spoke up.

“Maybe you were given a chance not to save me but to let me go,” you said quietly. ”You said you regretted the day I died. Maybe this is your chance to get closure. Send me off in peace. Find peace yourself.”

“No. No way. I’m not letting you leave me again. Not after all I’ve been through,” he said, desperately hugging you. “I finally get to hold you in my arms again. It’s okay if I have to relive this day forever. As long as I can see you, I’m okay with that.”

“Changmin...” your heart broke at the sight of his crestfallen face.

You let him keep his tight hold on you. He was so afraid you’d disappear again that he refused to let you or himself fall asleep. You looked at the clock and saw that the time was approaching.

“Baby, you know you can’t. I’m not coming back to life. I can’t. That’s not how the world works. We were blessed to have the chance to say our final goodbyes. Not everyone gets that. We’re lucky. We get to remind each other of how much we love each other and I get to tell you that I want you to be happy even if I’m not by your side. I’ll still be with you. In your heart. As long as you keep me there,” you pulled away to meet his eyes. “I don’t want you to be miserable without me. I want you to live your life to the fullest. Let me live vicariously through you.”

“But I have so many things I want to do with you. So many things I never got to say to you,” he stammered.

“Nobody gets to fulfill all their desires,” you smiled sadly. “Just know that I know how you feel. I know that you love me. I know that you want to grow old together. I know that you want to see mini me and mini you. I do too. I’m so sorry I won't be able to do that with you.”

Tears rolled down your cheeks. Admitting it out loud made it feel real.

“You have no idea how badly I want to walk down that aisle with you. I want to live happily ever after while bickering with you. I want to see you dance and I want to succeed in my own career. I hardly lived over two decades but you made me so happy for most of it. I’m glad I got to love you. It’s a shame I won’t get to get my degree after studying so hard but there are bigger regrets. Like wishing I had spent more time with you. Wishing we took more trips together.”

Changmin looked at you with a pained expression. He wished that he had taken more pictures with you. That he had gone on more dates with you. That he made you laugh more.

“I guess we were given this opportunity in exchange for all of that. At least now I’ll get to leave knowing that I’m loved and that you know I love you. Our last day wasn’t spent arguing but hugging,” you pointed out.

The two of you lain wordlessly on his bed. The only sound was the clock on his wall ticking.

“Can you tell my family that I love them? And my friends too. I wish I could say goodbye to everyone but that would be greedy of me,” you said wistfully.

At his silence, you turned to look at him. When you saw the guilt on face, you sat up and beckoned for him to do the same. You glanced at the clock, taking note of the time.

“Ji Changmin, I love you. Thank you for making me the happiest girl in the world,” you smiled with tears in your eyes. “While we make promises with this ring, can you also promise me another thing?”

You waited for him to nod before continuing.

“Promise me that you won’t blame yourself for anything and that you’ll move on. I want you to have all the extra happiness I’ll miss out on. I’ll be expecting you to lead a fruitful life for my sake too,” you held out your pinky, waiting for him to wrap his around yours.

“It’s okay if I start to fade out of your memory over the years,” you added. “I’ll understand when my face starts to become fuzzy to you. I’ll even understand when you get married and have kids. I’ll be your kids’ godmother and look out for them. I can’t wait to see little baby Ji’s.”

“But I don’t want that if it’s not with you…” he whispered.

“Don’t be silly. You’re still young and have the rest of your life ahead of you. I’ll be mad if I’m the one that’s holding you back. Now, hurry up and promise me. My arm’s hurting,” you shook your pinky at him, urging him to lock fingers together.

It tore him apart but he shakily held out his hand to make his promise. More tears escaped his eyes each time he blinked.

11:05.

Changmin held your tear-stained cheeks in his hands, staring into your eyes. You hated the sad look in his own eyes but knew yours was the same. He hated the ominous feeling that predicted that this would be his last time in the loop. Now that he came to terms with the fixed ending, he would be freed from his desperate desire for a different outcome.

“Thank you, Y/n, for teaching me what love is. From when I first met you up until now, there hasn’t been a single moment that I didn’t cherish. I love you. I love you so so much. I spent the past year unable to forget you and I never will. I’m going to believe that you’ll be watching over me and I’m going to make you proud. I’m going to experience both my and your share of happiness. So don’t worry about me. I won’t be able to follow you soon but I’ll join you up there one day. Please wait for me.”

“I may be your first love but I certainly don’t hope I’ll be your last. Instead, I hope that I’ll be your endless love,” you hummed, feeling drowsy.

“Of course,” he affirmed. “I love you, Y/n.”

“I love you too, Changmin.”

Changmin awoke feeling oddly comforted. The sun was shining through the window again and his apartment didn’t feel as empty for some reason. He eyed his phone and hesitantly picked it up. He was filled with mixed emotions when he saw that the year was finally set back to the present.

Out of habit from the past week, his eyes lingered on the door. You weren’t going to come knocking again but you also weren’t going to die again. You were finally sent off in peace.

His phone vibrated, notifying him of Chanhee’s daily text message. Chanhee was a persistent one as well.

Changmin decided to reply and asked him to grab breakfast together, which earned him an immediate “yes”. He told his friend to invite Sunwoo as well and got up to get ready for an outing for the first time in a long time. This was his first step in the healing process.

a/n: tbh i kinda cried writing this. i hope you cried too hehe also idk if you noticed but the line “endless love” is actually from the boyz’s “priority”. i really like that phrase and it’s been stuck in my head ever since the song came out