#except the day I tried to eat a grilled cheese but that was my fault I know my guts hate some cheeses

[loregoddess]

starting to suspect work may be a bigger source of stress than I realized ~~

[bitch-im-your-biggest-nightmare]

Happily Ever After [Corpse x Reader]

Warnings: Angst, neglect, argument Summary:  corpse and the Reader get into an argument cause he’s been neglecting her for awhile. He overworks himself and when he has days off he’s always with his friends and so she tells him about it, he says some hurtful things to her during the argument. The reader takes his words to heart and she begins to distance herself from him and she stops doing the little things that he loved about her. Whenever he tries to hang out she always rejects him or she’s hanging out with her friends. He then talks to her about it, he wants to know what caused her change of heart. When he finds out it was really his fault, he tries to fix it. Request: @xxasteriaxx​ A/N: This is gonna be a sad one with maybe a happy ending- who knows? My stories are coming out slower now and I am sorry about that! Now that it's Friday, I will try my best to get more stories out during the weekend. Online school has pretty stressful and my sleep schedule has been whack. Tag list: Tag list:  @save-the-sky @alilshit @whatifwedo @hughugh20 @fleurmoon @bi-andready-tocry @itsminniekat @yoongi-holland @loraleiix @hacker-ghost @fanworrior @marvelous-musicals @annshit @unknown-and-invisible @letsloveimagines @babyhoneystvles 

-----------------

-----------------

-----------------

Y/N didn’t know what went wrong in the relationship. Was it her? Why was she being.. neglected by Corpse? Did she do something wrong? Corpse was always overworking himself with editing his videos, recording, and streaming. And when he has time off, he doesn’t care to spend to time with Y/N. He’s always with his friends in a discord call, playing Among Us, or doing anything else with them. She started to think.. Did he not love her anymore? 

Y/N whipped up Corpse a grilled cheese sandwich. She knew she should cook- it was her hobby and her talent. She also knew that Corpse loved when she made this. She came to the conclusion that he was just stressed and maybe needed some love and food. So she went out of her way to make this meal amazing. It was crispy and looked aesthetically pleasing and delicious. She was very proud of it and was excited to show Corpse. 

She picked the plate up and walked over to Corpses office. She slowly opened the door, wincing at the loud creaking sound. Corpse seemed to be playing Among Us with his friends but wasn’t streaming. She walked over and set the plate down then wrapped her arms around him, giving him a kiss on the cheek. Corpse moved his head away a little and squirmed, “Thanks Y/N” Corpse said, focusing on his screen. 

“Can we cuddle after you’re done playing?” Y/N asked. It’s been a while since they have, the bed began to feel oddly cold without Corpses arms around her. She missed it very much, she really wanted to have a nice warm cuddle session with him. 

“Mhm.” Corpse replied dismissively, which made Y/N frown. She give him another kiss and muttered ‘I love you’. She didn’t leave, instead she closed the office door and sat down next to him on the ground. He looked at her curiously, “Aren’t you going to leave?” he asked. 

Y/N frowned, “I wanna spend time with you. I won’t bather you, I promise.” 

Corpse sighed, then got back to playing the game. After a little bit, he finally decided to eat the sandwich. It made Y/N happy to see him eat, she knows he hasn’t eaten in a while. She stayed in that exact spot the whole time he played. When he got off, she stood up and was excited to cuddle with him. She has been waiting for this moment her entire life. She went to hug him and he stood up but- he just.. pushed past her. Y/N frowned, following him out of the office. “Cospsie!” Y/N said, “Aren’t we gonna cuddle?” 

“Oh.. don’t have time. I’m going out for a little bit.” Corpse said, putting his sneakers on and looking for his hoodie. But it wasn’t where he last had it, did he misplace it? lose it? And then he knew, he looked at his girlfriend to see him wearing the hoodie he was looking for. “Can I have my hoodie back?” he asked.

“But it’s comfy!” Y/N smiled, snuggling into it. She loved wearing Corpses clothes- especially his hoodies. And the hoodie she was wearing was her favorite. The deep smell of cologne soothed her to sleep and the warmth was amazing. She thought Corpse loved when she wore his clothes, they were always oversized on her and that's what he loved- but she guessed she was wrong.

“I don’t care can I please have it back?” Corpse asked, beginning to get a little frustrated. 

Y/N was a little caught off guard, but she took the warm hoodie off and handed it to Corpse, muttering a small ‘sorry’ as she handed it to him. She watched him put it on and just leave without saying a word. Y/N was let down, she was really looking forward to cuddling with him.. guess she’ll have to wait. Y/N went to the couch and laid down, grabbing a big that laid across the top to snuggle up in. It didn’t take her long to fall asleep either, she didn’t even realize how tired she was.  

After a couple of hours, when the sun wa setting over skyline and slipping beneath tall standing skyscrapers, Corpse returned home. He was exhausted, he went out to the park and the mall to get a whole lot of things. He dropped the bags on on the island of the kitchen, and walked out into the living room. He saw Y/N cuddled up and frowned. He loved her very much, but she's been getting in the way of his work lately and has been being very clingy. Corpse went over and gave her a kiss on the temple before walking back to their room to sleep. 

~Timeskip~

After a couple of days Y/N began to feel frustrated at how she was being neglected. She missed the warm hugs and kisses she got from Corpse, she getting tired of giving morning kisses with reply. She started believe that love lies, she felt her mind saying Corpse was in love with someone else. That would explain why he liked to go out a lot now. But no, you know from his friends snaps and tweets that hes just with his friends- right? Maybe he fell in love with Sykkuno or Dave or something.. Y/N wouldn’t be surprised. 

She looked through Corpses phone and computer, finding nothing but work, recordings, discords, games, and all that other stuff so he couldn’t be cheating. Y/N decided to ask Corpse why he was neglecting her. Neglect was what she feared... She was already in a abuse relationship where she was neglected and cheated on. Corpse was the only guy that told her ‘I love you’ and really meant it. It was a while until Y/N was confident enough to even begin a serious relationship which every guy she tried pushed EXCEPT Corpse. She was not ready to lose the prize she won with Corpse, she was not going to lose him because he’s too selfish and dumb to put just a few seconds of his time to her. 

She missed the kisses... She missed him.Y/N walked into the living room to see Corpse sitting on the couch. He was texting with someone Twitter, she didn’t know because she couldn’t see the name. “Hey.. Corpse?” 

Corpse looked up, “Yeah?” he said. 

“Uhm... why have you been.. y’know, neglecting me lately? It’s been a while and I really want to spend time with you.” Y/N said, walking over to sit next to him on the couch. 

Corpse sighed, “Can I not have some time alone? You’re being clingy.” 

Y/N frowned, clingy. “Of course you can have time alone! I just wanna spend time with you. Is that a bad thing?” 

“Well, you’re always on my case!” Corpse raised his voice, catching Y/N off guard. “You’re always asking for attention and pushing yourself into my personal space! You always say ‘I love you’ every single fucking minute, I get it! Ok?! Just stop being so fucking demanding!” 

Y/N moved back a little, she was surprised by being screamed at by Corpse- it never happened. She was hurt. Was Corpse right about all of those things? Was she an attention seeker? Was her ‘I love you’s too much? Was she demanding? She sniffed, standing up and walking away to go to their bedroom. 

“Don’t be so dramatic Y/N!” Corpse yelled to her. He had angry built up in his system. He had so much work and so much to do, he couldn’t have Y/N bothering her. And he wanted to have a good social life- he needed friends. Couldn’t Y/N see that?!

----------------

Just like what Corpse wanted, Y/N didn’t bother him anymore. The morning kisses and snuggles were gone. She stopped planting kisses on his cheek and his lips in the morning, night, and throughout the day. She stopped wearing his clothes and hoodies, leaving all the warmth for coziness to Corpse. And she also stopped saying I love you, which she missed so much. She missed all of it, but it was what Corpse wanted and that was all that mattered.

But she also realized that Corpse began to want her attention- but she needed to give him space. He wanted space, that's what he said- so she was going to give it to him! She wasn’t going to bother him during streams, only to give him food and/or a drink. Y/N hung out with her friends more often, giving Corpse as much space as he can possibly can have. 

Corpse just got done streaming and was looking for Y/N. His fans were going crazy on uncomfortable questions today. Apparently they have realized the lack of the Y/N and the lack of Corpse talking about how great she was- they thought something happened like they broke up or she died or something. Corpse was too bothered by Y/N neglecting him to focus on what he was doing, so he ended early. He searched the house but couldn’t find Y/N, so he called her. 

“Y/N? Where are you?” Corpse asked once she picked up after three rings. 

“I’m with Kariya, Eris, and Morgan right now.” Y/N replied, “Aren’t you supposed to be streaming?” 

“Mhm but I ended it early. When are you gonna get home?” Corpse asked. He internally sighed, wishing Y/N was here to spend time with him. He was worried- not that she was gone but because she hasn’t been wearing his clothes. None of his hoodies or shirts were gone. And he knew for a fact that she loved wearing his rose hoodie and his flanel out in public. 

“Dunno. Probably an hour.” Y/N said, “I gotta go now, Kariya just got her nails done.” 

“Oh.. ok bye. Lo-” He was cut off by the call ending. He frowned, was she ignoring him? Why? Did he do something wrong? Did she not love him anymore? He knew he was stressed but he’s not anymore. He decided to scroll through reddit and find some unsettling stories he could maybe read for his channel. He checked his email and saw many good stories that were worth reading for his channel. But soon, he got bored and sat back in his chair and let his mind wander off into the forest of his mind. He hoped for his mind to play in sunlit grass and smell the heather growing but no.. they just ended up wandering down into the undergrowth and crevasses, breathing in the cold musty scent of dirt and moss. He just thought of Y/N.. did he mess up the only relationship he was able to carry? He felt like a river going down into a raging waterfall. There was a stream of sadness that touched his skin like an icicle against his neck. He needed to see what was wrong with Y/N, he needed to know what he did wrong. 

The minutes felt like hours and the hours felt like years. It was dark- very dark when Y/N returned home. When Y/N got home, Corpse perked up at the sound of the front door opening and the familiar pattern of Y/Ns footsteps. Corpse stood up and left his office, greeting Y/N by pulling her into a hug. “I missed you.” 

“Mhm” Y/N hummed, hugging him for a second before walking to their bedroom. Corpse frowned, following her in. He watched as she took her sneakers off- but looked away as she changed her clothes. He sat on the bed ans sat down next to him. 

“Y/N?” Corpse said, watching her face “Why have you been.. like... ignoring me?” Y/N looked at him, but said nothing. “You stopped giving me kisses, stopped wearing my clothes, and most importantly you stopped saying I love you. Whats going on?” 

Y/N looked puzzled, looking at Corpse like he was delusional. “Isn’t this what you wanted?” then she got under the blankets and faced her back on Corpse, turning the lamp on her bedside table off. 

Corpse frowned yet again, his face twisting into confusion. “What? What do you mean?” he asked, but got no answer, “Y/N? What do you mean?” He asked again to no prevail. “Y/N?” He asked, but this time waited a couple seconds. Then he sighed and gave up, getting under the covers and closing his eyes. Lets just say... he couldn’t sleep that night.

-----------------

Another day, another day with no cuddles, kisses, or cuteness. Corpse was getting tired, sad, and frustrated. That sentence never left his mind, “Isn’t this what you wanted?” What did she mean? What did Corpse do?

While Y/N was out Corpse decided to turn to his friends for help. Maybe they knew how to deal with it, they were always so nice and helpful. He hit Sykkuno up, saying 

Corpse: Hey I need relationship advice... 

Sykkuno answered rather quickly, making Corpse feel kinda special. 

Sykkuno: Oh no what did you do?

Corpse: That's the thing idk 

Sykkuno: Is Y/N acting strangely? 

Corpse: Yeah shes been ignoring me 

Corpse: Do you think she doesn’t love anymore?

Sykkuno: Y/N? Not loving Corpse? never heard of it. 

Sykkuno: You probably said something that bothered her tbh 

Corpse stared at his screen, then it hit him. All the shit he’s said to her... It all came back to him like an avalanche. 

“Well, you’re always on my case!” Corpse raised his voice, catching Y/N off guard. “You’re always asking for attention and pushing yourself into my personal space! You always say ‘I love you’ every single fucking minute, I get it! Ok?! Just stop being so fucking demanding!” 

Corpse gasped, realizing all the things he said. He felt so much guilt, he did this to Y/N, this is why she hated him now. She had make things better between them, he had to fix things. But how? He didn’t even care to reply to Sykkuno as he googled ways to make a girl happy.

“Be physically and emotionally present.” 

“Send her cute and meaningful texts.”

“Give her loving gifts.” 

“Give her unexpected embraces.” 

“Sit next to her.” 

All of them were great, but didn’t help his case that much. He needed something cute and.. something Y/N will like. He sighed, sitting back in his chair and looking at his ceiling. He decided to try all of these and see which one will help. First, he texted her. Hopefully, she’ll reply.

Corpse🥀: Hey. I just wanna let you know how much I love you and cherish our time together. Every morning of mine gets brighter everytime I see you next to me. I don’t know what I would do without you here with me. <3

He watched the three dots bounce on his screen, but then disappear. He sighed in frustration. That didn’t work. Guess he needed to try plan B, give her an unexpected embrace. Yes, that should work! Right? Y/N loves when Corpse gives her embraces and hugs. It should be the key, right? He just had to wait. 

----------------

After what seemed like days, Y/N finally returned home. She was out with her friends again- just how she always is. He waited for her to settle down and relax. She changed into a cute sweater that gave her sweater paws- something Corpse adored about her. She relaxed and sighed, winding down before Corpse came up and gave her a nice warm embrace, engulfing her in his arms.

“Corpse-” Y/N gasped, moving her legs up a little, “I’m tired.” 

Corpse was not giving up just now, no siree. He picked her up and brought her to the bed. “Then we will cuddle.” He said simply, setting her softly on the bed and wrapping her in a soft crochet blanket. He then in bed next to her and wrapped his arms around her, pulling Y/N into a big hug. Y/N didn’t respond, just letting it happen. 

Y/N got a peaceful sleep throughout the night. Its the best sleep she actually got in a while- her sleep schedule has been whack. Maybe it was because the lack of giving affection to Corpse- but she wanted to keep him happy. But when Corpse wrapped his arms around her, she felt at home.

Y/N squirmed out of Corpses arms and walked to take a shower. She wanted to go out with her friends again today. They were planning to go to the mall and stop by at that new sushi place. It was going to be a fun day, it was gonna be exciting. After the shower Y/N dried herself and wrapped a towel around her. She looked in the shared closet she had with Corpse and that nice rose hoodie caught her eye. She went to reach for it, but pulled it back. She can’t wear that! Corpse doesn’t want her to. So she just went with a knitted yellowish brown sweater and dark brown pants. But then she felt the familiar the wetness in her pants. Period blood. Fuck. She quickly changed her underwear and ran to the bathroom, putting a pad on and pulling her thankfully unstained pants up. It was getting colder as Autumn neared so she put a cute scarf on and put her hair in a bun, finished her look off with brown healed boots and makeup. Then she left a note to Corpse saying 

“I'm out with my friends again. Got my period so not really in the mood for anything but i'm fighting it :)”

Then Y/N left, leaving Corpse alone to sleep peacefully.

-----------------

When Corpse woke up that morning, he was saddened by the lack of Y/N next to him. He sighed, she must’ve went out again. Corpse decided that he would try one more thing. Just one. And he hoped this idea would work. 

He drove to the park him and Y/N went to on their first date. They are both the laid back but romantic style people so this park was perfect. He already had a nice blanket with him and brought that rose hoodie that Y/N loved. There was this area cut off from the park that lead to a small opening in the woods. The opening showed a lake that had the sun setting in the distance. Corpse thought this would be the perfect place for him to apologize to Y/N. He can only hope she actually comes along.. 

He set everything up at the spit and decided to explore the area a little. It was still morning, he wanted her here at sunset. He walked around a little bit, following the trail that led a small playground. It had 2 swings, a slide, monkey bars, and a little house on the top. There were also benches and a set of rules that no one really listened to. There was a family there- it looked like a party. Grandma and grandpa, mother and father, kids, and what looked like cousins and aunts and uncles. Corpses anxiety and nervousness spiked, he looked sketchy. He had all black on with black nails and these weird silver rings on. He went and sat down on one of the benches and went on his phone, trying to direct his attention to whats going on there. He was asked to join an Among Us lobby, but he declined and said he had something planned. 

After a long time of scrolling through his phone, cloud watching, and eavesdropping on peoples conversations, a women came up to him. She looked nice and asked “Hello, would you mind if you leave? You’re upsetting the kids here.” 

Corpse sat up, he knew he would bother someone.. damnit. “Ah.. yeah yeah sorry for causing any disturbance.” he stood up and waved to the women, walking away and down the trail as casually as he can. The probably thought he was planning to kidnap one of the kids while no one was looking, but how could he? They have hidden cameras in the weirdest places here. 

Corpse headed back to the spot, heading closer to the lake, picking a stone up and throwing it into the lake, making a small ‘droop’ sound as it hit the water. He began to throw many stones into the lake, waiting for 5pm to hit so they could watch the sunset at 6pm. Hopefully. 

------------- 

5:40 came around and Corpse decided to text Y/N. He walked over the closest bench and texted her. 

Corpse🥀: Meet me at the [insert park name] right now. Im sitting on a bench near the lake area.

Y/N💕: Ok? 

Corpse sat back and waited, watching the clouds slowly drift by. He picked out pictures in the sky, one of them was a silhouette of two lovers kissing.. and the other was 2 lovers fading away. It just made him sad and uneasy, he was scared that Y/N wouldn’t wanna be with him anymore. He was scared that she would laugh at him and say that she found another guy that satisfied her so much more. He expected that that guy was big, tall, and muscular and was always up for sex and flavors, some guy who gave her everything she wanted, something he couldn’t. 

But he smiled when he saw Y/N walk down the trail. He stood up, waving to her. She noticed him and walked over to him. “Hey Corpse. You wanted to see me here?” 

“Uh yeah... follow me.” Corpse said, realizing her sounded very sketchy. he began to walk, relieved when he heard Y/Ns footsteps behind his. He led her to the spot, the sun was still up but was getting tired, just about ready to soak into the lake and let the moon guard the night. 

Y/N looked around, the scene was beautiful. Flowers bloomed from crisp green grass and the lake flowed lighty. “Wow.. its beautiful here.” She made her way over and sat down on the soft blanket. 

Corpse smiled and sat next to her, grabbing the hoodie he had and handing it to Y/N. She studied it for a second before taking it, smiling and holding it close to her chest. 

“I.. just wanna apologize for neglecting you that. I was being an asshole.. and I.. I'm sorry for being so rude. Truth is, I miss your kisses, hugs, the way you wear my clothes, and the i love yous. I just want my girlfriend back.” Corpse sighed, not daring to look at her. “If you wanna break up and go off with another guy, I understand. I wouldn’t blame you.. who wants to hang out with Corpse Husband anyways?” 

Y/N leaned forward, looking Corpse in the eyes, “Maybe Corpse Wife wants to hang out with Corpse Husband.” she smiled when Corpse looked up at her. “I’m sorry for ignoring you. I thought you would be better off without me annoying you.” 

Corpse hesitated, “I..” he dropped his head, “Stress fucking sucks, doesn’t it? So many people noticed your absence and are asking! Im just so- sorry.” 

“Don’t worry, I forgive you. I love you more than anyone in the world, Corpse. You’re my big ol’ edge king and I love you for it.” Y/N lifted his head to give him a kiss on the lips. 

It turned passionate and pleasant, it was a kiss full of love. It was like hot air blew around them, heating them up just the right ways. It was a kiss that was long overdue, a kiss that they both missed so so much.. and it was finally happening. 

When they pulled away Corpse was smiling so happily and brightly. He hugged Y/N tightly and said “I love you so much Y/N.. I just love you more than life.” 

Y/N smiled, melting into the sweet embrace. “I love you too Corpsie, I love you so much.”

Heh, talk about living happily ever after...

~The End~

[popculturebuffet]

Ducktales: New Gods On The Block! Review or THE INCREDIBLE STORKULES: COCKBLOCKER OUT OF MYTH!

We’re back, and i’m doing away with intros, for now, i’m trying to see if offering people a bit of the review makes them more receptive to reading it and now we’re nearing the end of this hellyear, and the trump presdency, i’m going into this one with a ton of energy, so let’s get quackin!

We open with the Scrooge and Kids on a quest to get a golden helmet he’s been after for years and has been one of his lifelong goals using a carefully crafted plan with all the kids skills needed. Okay i’ll admit that last part is unique to this show: given how interchangable the boys are outside of this continuity,  I assume he’d just throw them at the monster like Pikmin as a distraction while Donald grabbed the helmet and just grow new ones in his vast venture bro style clone mine if they happen to die. Thankfully there’s no Child Death but there is Child Failure as the team comes back sad and defeated and doubting themselves.. Della having a confetti cannon ready to celebrate dosen’t help. Though it does bring me to the subject of Della being out of focus this season. It’s a mixed bag for me: On the one hand I do get it, as she was the main focus of last season, even more than Louie, and now we’ve gotten to know her, she can sit back and play more of a supporting role, especially since Donald , who himself was more of a supporting character the past two seasons, is now getting more screentime and Beakly’s getting fleshed out more. Their trying to balance a rather massive cast, so it’s natural the one whose already got a ton of focus at this point would take a back seat and all around the show’s done a far better job giving everyone screentime this season. Launchpad has been lacking of late but given a Darkwing Duck spinoff is probably in the cards, and he’s had tons of episodes at this point compared to Donald and Beakly, i’m understanding of it. 

On the other.. there’s still a lot of stories to tell with her: We still haven’t had her deal with Scrooge basically erasing her for a decade at all nor Donald hiding her past from the kids.. he had reason and all, but he still made their mother a stranger to them. They had no stories, nothing to really go on for 10 years. That’s gotta have impacted both the kids and gotta hit della hard at some point that her father-uncle and brother both just kinda.. erased her to the kids. Plus we don’t know how she’s been adjusting to have a life OUTSIDE the kids especially since she’s been sitting out so many adventures, likely to let Scrooge have time with them and be a good daughter and mother and what not, but still there’s a LOT of ground to cover they simply haven’t yet. The Donald and Della plot we did get, while glorious, didn’t really add anything to either’s likely strained relationship and it’d be nice to give the two a subplot to work this out. Granted this might all be coming in the Castle McDuck Episode for all I know, but I can’t pin all my hopes and dreams on that one. And this all COULD’VE easily happened off screen.. but it’s something the audience really wants and needs. I’m not sure if we’re getting it and that worries me. But again theirs a large chunk of the season to answer this if this is the last one, and another season possible if it’s not, so i’m willing to wait for it. I’m just getting impatient is all. 

That being said this episode makes up for the Della Deficet as she’s one of the main driving forces of this side of the episode. I’ll get into that more in a second but Della’s been on the rare misfire adventure and knows Scrooge’s stages of grief and that he’ll come out of it with a better plan. Unfortunately for the kids that plan dosen’t include them and Scrooge runs off to assemble a better team leaving the kids utterly devastated. One of the other main driving forces besides depressed children and the greek gods is scrooge being really bad with people, but i’ll get to that. 

Point is the kids understandable emotional devastation and Della trying to mom for all of them at once because Launchpad had to get to his other job and is taking Beakly this weak to teach him and Drake how to raise a child, is interrupted by said Zeus ASSHAT RAPIST OUT OF MYTH! Along with Storkules COCKBLOCKER OUT OF MYTH and Selene, DELLA’S FIRST TIME WITH A WOMAN OUT OF MYTH!  There here because Zeus has lost his powers, as the Gods all collectively decided he was a dick and voted him out of office.. er stripped him of his powers. Sorry an asshole, narcacistic, sociopathic racist getting removed from his position of power happening a few days after the election was called.. the timing just could not have been better. But yeah Zeus is out, roll credits. Join me after them and after the cut for the rest of the review. 

So yeah the Gods are fed up with him, and Selene and Storkules are there to pick a worthy inheritor to his Laurel Wreath, his lighting bolts, and his collection of playboys he keeps alphabatized in his mancave.. also his mancave will also go to the winner. Storkules however, having a one track mind, notices Donald isn’t there and goes to find him. The kids are all eager to try but Selene is there for Della, which they all agree makes sense: I mean she has the disposition and sexual appitite of a green god but without all the rampant sex crimes and murder, and given most of them have clearly copped to the times except Zeus, that’s a plus. Plus she and Selene have already been together before so the fact they can smooch into infinity along with all the fun stuff is a nice bonus. It’s not like Storkules isn’t selecting his candiate soley with his 13 inch penis, so ther’es a precident. But Della, seeing the kids clearly need this more than she does, convinces her once and future girlfriend to let them try out. I really do wish we got more of the two this episode but what we get is great, and Selene reluctantly agrees after Della makes the valid point their STILL more mature than her dad. The fact Zeus punctuates this by getting into a “No you” contest with an 11-12 year old probably helped.  As for where Donald is he’s preparing for a date with Daisy! Horay. I’ve been waiting for Daisy to come back since the last time she was here, and Donald has naturally been considerate: Setting up a bunch of hearts, flowers, some punch that is likely just box wine and sprite, he has a budget and throwing all his garbage in the pool with bricks because he’s still Donald. Romantic, a good dad.. but still a disaster of a person who dosen’t know quite how to live like an adult... which naturally I immensely relate to and hope i’m lucky enough one day to have a lady or fella to hide all my garbage from. I mean i’m probably dying alone, but that’s likely my old buddy crippling depression talking. Oh you old scamp.. please fuck off an die.  But enough chilling looks into my psyche, point is Storkules barges in to ruin it, and eat his carefully made grilled cheese. As though Storkules may be incredible he’s also STORKULES, GOD OF NOT REALLY READING THE ROOM. Daisy comes in, and we find out it’s their second date.. and i’m assuming their first wasn’t that time they ended up in a direct to video sequel to Die Hard that’s still far better than Die Hard 5.. then again a colonoscopy is preferable to that movie so I Dunno. But she’s nice, friendly, if put off by the big sweaty man suddenly in their date. Storkules COCKBLOCKER OUT OF MYTH, does not help matters by, upon hearing that seeing how in love they are, and finding out it’s the second date assumes their getting married and hugs them in THE SWEATY ABS OF STORKULES. Do me next. 

Back at the God Tests, god I love a job-ish thing that lets me say that, Louie is up first, and being Louie has thought up a plan that benifets him wether he wins or looses but one that has serious underlying issues he hasn’t thought of. Naturally it turns out to be a gold touch which, as with Midas, works out about as well as you’d expect.. with Dog Murder and mass murder to follow. Selene undoes it, So Louie gets nothing. And yeah this has been a major issue this season that while I talked about it back in “Let’s Get Dangerous” bares repeating:  Louie feels like he learned NOTHING from the events of last season. He still likes, he still dosen’t think plans through, and he still cheats. In contrast Dewey DID grow from his season.. it’s subtle, he’s still the same loveable trainwreck and pre-teen Hank Venture he’s always been, but he no longer hides secrets or family stuff and is more of a team player. Still an egotsitical one, but it’s there. But Louie.. hasn’t changed at all. He’s still conviving, still thinks only in short term.. it’s only once or twice like with the Impossibin the events of last year really seem to have sunk in. It feels like the writer’s couldn’t figure out how to write a smarter Louie and just gave up. It’s really disheartning especially when most other character development, subtle and otherwise, sticks. 

While Huey sweats over his turn and Della tries to encourage, we cut back to the date which is going okay, Daisy’s trying to roll with it but Storkules, TERRIBLE WINGMAN OUT OF MYTH really isn’t good at talking Donald up or letting them get to know one another. While things breifly get better when Daisy brings up her career and Donald talks it up like the loving soon to be boyfriend he is, Storkules FUCKUP OUT OF MYTH screws things up by saying, when she explains to him she hasn’t made any Toga’s because she works primarily in dresses that she can “work up to them eventually. “ As proof this is the best Daisy she dosen’t dump Donald immidetly despite none of this being his fault and him trying to explain he didn’t invite him, but instead just makes an angry, and understandably so , face and goes to powder her beak.. which is clearly code for “Scream Obscenities into Donald’s Mirror for the next ten minutes”. Which if it already wasn’t abundantly clear they were perfect for each other this would be the clincher. Donald wants Storkules to go and TRIES to tell him, but Storkules just assumes he wants him to make a big romantic gesture for them and goes to “let Cupid’s Arrow” strike her. Donald understandably wants conformation he doesn’t mean that literally. Spoiler alert: He does. 

IT’s Huey’s turn next at playing god and he decides to be God of Intuition, gaining future sight so he can know everything and prevent tragedy. We instead get a damn funny scene where after adjusting to his powers he tries to prevent a breakup.. only to play both parts himself and cause it anyway. Just some great acting from Danny Pudi there. We get some more as Huey slowly melts down from the information, traumatizing a kid and nearly getting beat up with a guy who wants to “Beat up the freak for making everyone uncomfortable” which.. 

Yeah it’s not acceptable for what looks like a grown adult, or even a Teenager if that was an intent, to whale on a CHILD, let alone ANYONE for being “a Freak”. I mean yes Huey did screw up big, not mass murder bit but still.. but he’s still a fucking child. As someone who was prone to breakdowns at that age, and up to present day... I take this personally, especially since I see Huey as high functioning autsitic. So this hits home as i’ve had many people just tell me to get over it instead of trying to help. So yeah fuck this guy, take off that Gizmoduck shirt you do not deserve it. We fans do though, I hope that becomes real merch. 

But yeah Huey failed and Zeus is gloating..mostly because in his already considerably warped brain, he thinks that if they all fail he dosen’t get it. Selene explains basic logic to him: If they fail to find a new god here, they’ll just keep looking. Zeus naturally has a tantrum as Scrooge enters, wondering why the kids care about god powers and Della, being a supportive mom, tries to get him to encourage them. He instead focuses on his team. Again, we’ll get to him trust me. Selene also calls her dad out on the fact he hasn’t done anything good since defeating the titans centuries ago.  Naturally being THE GREATEST SHITHEAD IN ALL OF GREEK MYTHOLOGY Zeus takes the exact wrong lesson from this and calls his brother Hades to whip up a titan for him to fight because that was her point and not that your an irredemible dick tip who their desperate to replace and who was dethroned because no one liked you, not even your horrible presumibly now ex wife. I mean unlike DC Comics Zeus he’s not planning a cou but only because he has no powers. Hades however is well aware his brother has no powers, as the gods have been talking about it and laughing about it because Zeus sucks eggs. Also Hades has a great goth look and personality here as well as muscular arms to hold my bi ass at night. A-Plus character design. I may also have a thing for goths and emos I never realized I had. Just an observation. 

Back at the boat Donald and Daisy are enjoying drinks, which again has to be wine.. I mean again box wine, Donald needs a lot of booze after a hard days nearly getting murdered and Costco has great deals on it, but still booze. They cuddle a bit and it’s fucking adorable.. and Storkules WHO JUST KIDDNAPED HIS COUSIN CUPID AND STOLE HIS SHIT naturally ruins this moment by first trying to fire one date rape arrow at them, then takes donald’s rampant headshaking no as a sign to fire all of the arrows... with Daisy ending up in the water and unsettling the garbage. Granted Donald COULD’VE prevented this by explaning things to her.. but i’m betting he didn’t simply because he’s.. tired of this shit. He’s tired of adventure, tired of it intruding on his life and just hoped Storkules was gone and out of sight and didn’t have a chance to prepare for that till it was too late. NOW Daisy storms off.. but unlike say Cabs Daisy, whose a living nightmare, or Comic Daisy, whose not a great person but has her moments depending on the comic, she has VALID REASON. Donald lied to her about garbage and dind’t just take it out like a normal Duck, and didn’t just outright yell at his friend to leave on their date, a friend who just attacked her and already insulted her. IT’s understandable, especailly given a line coming up she’d WANT to leave and leave Donald behind.  Donald however is naturally miserable and it finally gets through Storkules thick skull he messed up and he runs off to cry while Donald miserably floats among the garbage and my heart both relates to that nad breaks seeing it. I mean .. Daisy meant a lot to him: After years of presumibly avoiding dating, or if he did not doing so for long, to focus on the boys, after a year of putting their needs ahead of his and living with his demanding uncle, of being dragged out of a normal if miserable life and into a less miersable but adventerous one he didn’t want, of being stranded in space and on an island wondering if his kids would be okay.. he finally not only has time for himself, and his sister back after years of thinking her dead and thus someone else to take care of the kids needs for a while without feeling any guilt over it or worrying about them, but found someone special. She’s talented, beautiful, charming, and understanding. And most importanlty she LISTENS to him and throughly likes Donald for who he is. And he looses that only PARTLY due to his won incomptence but mostly because someone he already barely allows in his life came in and ruined it. Once again the adventure and everything took something from him and while not nearly as big as loosing his sister, it still fucking hurts to once again have one small bit of something just for himself, one bit of normalcy, one person who loves him for who he is now through and through.. and it’s seemingly gone. It’s why I like this relationship even if this part panes me: Donald can FINALLY be happy... finally have someone who genuinely cares about him.  This also boils down Storkules character and why I don’t ship the two of them: He’s a good god, he’s brave, compasionate, carring, and generally wants the best for donald and does genuinely love him.. but he also dosen’t care really what DONALD wants half the time. He’s the embodiment of Donald’s biggest gripe with his life: No one listens to or repsects him or what he wants. Storkules wants Donald the adventurer, Donald the brave, Donald the undaunted, DONALD THE IDEALIZED VERSION THAT ONLY EXISTS IN HIS HEAD. He dosen’t really get Donald isn’t the same person, and even that person wasn’t into him. Not because he’s a man, like his sister Donald could easily be bi or pan.. but because he’s just SO MUCH and Donald’s family is already SO MUCH.. and that was BEFORE the kids and the launchpad. Donald has made peace with adventuring but it’s still clearly not his faviorite thing while for Storkules adventure and experince is his life. Storkules needs someone like him and Donald needs someone down to earth, someone who can HANDLE the amount of chaos that follows him and the famly, but someone whose .. normal. And Daisy is that. If you ship then fine fine, but I just don’t because they just don’t go together and both deserve a partner they can truly be a partner with, not someone they clearly don’t understand or someone they DREAD visiting. They both deserve better than that. 

Back on the god plot, it’s Webby’s turn as she becomes Goddess of Friendship. And helps the mood at the pier by spreading sunshine.. and then deals with the pier’s greatest menace and my honorary uncle, because he’s really not much worse than some of my actual uncles...

GLOMGOLD, SCOURGE OF CHILDREN’S KIDDIE RIDES. Because of course a seemingly regular habit for Glomgold is hogging a children’s ride he somehow fits into. Of course it is. It’s cheap and he’s not the best human being but I love him anyway. Webby heats it up to scare him then tries to get the kids to hug before having a breakdown at everyone not being happy. This does fit with her personality.. I didn’t think so at first but thinking back her first response in any friendship crisis is to panic and overreact. Her reaction to her best friend telling her she may have to stop sleeping over with her and her sister/webby’s giflriend because of magic danger is an implied death threat. She’s getting BETTER with people, but she still dosen’t have the life experince to fully deal with it and naturally upon seeing things get worse and worse goes on a lighting filled rampage Selene thankfully stops and likely undoes. Though Glomgold is likely on the moon now. He’ll be fine. 

Dewey is last and auditions.. but forgets the god part and fails which fits him perfectly and is a great bit. The kids have all washed out and are depressed about it. While Della is hopeful when talking to Selene, Selene gently explains to her girlfriend she shares with a space alien that the kids just aren’t ready and that maybe the power of a god just isn’t the thing you give to a kid for a self esteem boost. Della MEANS well here, she just wants her kids, Webby very much included, to feel good and get their self esteem back after Scrooge swallowed it whole. But Selene is right that this is just too much power, and given it nearly drove Huey insane  and nearly made Louie and Webby murderers, she has a point. It’s a good thought, but Selene needs an actual replacement for her dad. Sadly though this breaks the kids further after this and they slink off and Selene gets she messed up.. while she was right to reject them, she missed WHY Della was trying so hard. However credit where it’s do unlike her brother, while she dosen’t try to fix her issue, it’s likely out of emotional maturity: she knows just saying nice things to the kids wouldn’t help them or would wring hollow and their mom is better for that. IT’s things like this that are going to make her a good step mom.. yeah i’m shiping Della with both her girlfriends at once. Just because I gave up on her and Launchpad dosen’t mean poly’s off the table, and frankly selene is strong enough to win Penumbra’s favor and Penumbra has the kind of pepper and violence a greek goddess likes in her women. They’d be cute all together. I likes it. 

Less cute is ZEUS, SCHEMING BOWL OF ELEPHANT PISS OUT OF MYTH!, who realizes his greatest gift isn’t his powers: I’ts manipulating his children. 

And since he found a sad STORKULES POOR SAD BOY OUT OF MYTH. , and hears his issue, with Storkules hilarious sitting in his poppa’s lap, he spins it into getting what he wants: Saying since he and his wife, and Storkules mother in this version apparently I dunno, fell in love with battle, summoning Chronos will do just that for Donsy. Granted for most people your dad’s tale about how he met your step mom who tried killiing you a bunch and who he’s cheated on dozens of times would raise a red flag, but STORKULES IS THICK AS A BRICK.. in both senses of the word and calls forth Chronus. 

Daisy meanwhile is driving her car away, but is battling with herself. On one hand she doesn’t want to play mother to a guy who can’t dispose his trash or his weird friends. On the other she admits she can really be herself around Donald. We then get the most telling line though.. “You do not need to fall for another man who needs saving!”

That.. is clearly setup for the future. It MIGHT be Gladstone but it could be anyone. Hell it could be someone entirely new. She also could have a kid like we’ve all wanted. We could get a canon version of Juinor.. not named Donald Juinor because 1) He’s not donald’s son and 2) that name’s been forever tainted and we all know which living bottle of axe body spray to blame. I.. genuinely can’t wait to find out who this is and I expect we will before the season’s up and i’ts nice to see Tress, like last time, get to dig into some emotional complexity with the character instead of just yelling at Donald or talking about bows and stuff. Here she grapples with herself as she does love Donald but the past has burnt her a lot. But as a wise pansexual once said “ But I think it's important for us to remember that sometimes, sometimes it does work out. And even though everything inside us is telling us to protect ourselves, when you've got it, don't let it go. And I am telling you, that you have got it, if you want it. “ Love is hard, love is messy, maybe that among many other things is why i’m alone. But it’s worth it when you take the time.. and upon seeing a giant monster heading for Donald’s house, Daisy realizes he is worth it.. or that frustrated with him right now or not she dosen’t want him to die. Either way she’s a coming and i’m gathering hornets in a box in ancipation of finding out who hurt her so I can mail them to him. I popped an H on there so I know it has hornets. 

Back at the mansion the mood is bleak as heelllllllllll with Louie ordering pizza minus the toppings and Della’s attempt to give the kids hot choclate just getting an ow from Webby. It does make sense: Scrooge and adventuring are their lives.. if he dosen’t need them.. how would they ever do it themselves? Plus their 11 and 13 and at that age kids are very fragile so having their mentor and grandpa reject them like this really hurts, not helped by Scrooge proudly announcing his new team and trying to awkwardly bounce not getting this is his fault, though Della is staring at him with a look that just screams. 

But before Della can stab her Dunkle, we cut to a depressed donald who switches from one natural state, Depression, to another, fearing for his life, as Chronus arrives and Huey rightly wonders how he’s here. The kids all defer to Scrooge while Della continues to just be the best. Seriously for the entire episode her only throught is her kids, and their emotional well being and had this crisis not popped up she probably would’ve stabbed scrooge then yelled him out for hurting her babies. She’s graduated from trying to be a mom but having issues with it due to mentally still being in her 20′s, to genuinely being GREAT at the job. Good on her.  Daisy is naturally horrified to arrive to find Donald being eaten while Storkules is overjoyed. I WOULD say his stupidity’s overplayed this episode.. but he’s never displayed good judgement before why start now? It fits his character and his joy turns to distress when Chronus eats donald.. and has a cage in his tummy. with glass walls. I dunno, it’s a cool design. Daisy is understandably pissed and yells at it for eating her boyfriend, which gets an adorable oh boy oh boy from donald> Again love is rough, but one jackass screwing with you does not equate to every man or woman or person you date being a jackass. Daisy has realized this. Storkules is overjoyed, but soon finds himself and his sister fihgting Chronus and honestly both are damn impressive doing so. Seriously when the justice ducks form.. give htem a call. I mean She has moon beams and he’s a greek god.. plus Drake and Launchpad could use a third.. I mean he fits better there and Drake is already dating one manchild, and is one to a smaller extent, another won’t hurt. Just consider it shippers.. or foursies with Morgana because as this episode shows Storkules is bi as he is mighty. he’s Bighty. But the god squad fails, and gets eaten and Zeus’ time to shine predictably ends with an “I’ve failed immediately”, to no one’s suprise. 

Scrooge starts working on a plan as he and Della, naturally scale the colossus. We then get the scene that’s been boiling all episode: When Scrooge wonders where the kids are, Della calls him out pointing out they’ve been plauged with doubts about him replacing them.. because he literally was replacing them, and when Scrooge is earnestly suprised by that Della points out the obvious: Their children, as I said their fragile and as Della puts it, Scrooge puts a LOT of pressure on them, something she likely knows from experince.  And this is what i’ve been leading up to and putting a pin in all episode: Scrooge himself. It’s something I thought of days ago but this episode hammers in heavily: Scrooge really dosen’t have a ton of personal social skills. Sure he can work a board room pitch, lead a team of adventuerers, and run a vast empire while never forgetting the human element, for a lack of a better term, he’s not lacking in empathy or the ablility to talk to people, but when it comes to reading them it’s just surface level. He’s genuinely been show to struggle with empathy, with feeling someone elses emotions or realizing them till they’ve already been hurt. He spent a good ten years desperatley trying to bring Della back, avoding his pain and guilt instead of talking to Donald and making amends with him. His relationship with Goldie took decades to get anywhere healthy as he just put his walls up and assumed she’d never change when, as we’ve seen now, she always could she just needed a push. And when confronted by the kids he lashed out and then pushed them away instead of mending the wounds he created. Even on a much smaller level, when Lena and Violet ended up along next week he’s utterly lost when Adventure isn’t on the menu and only picks up from being baffled by two normal ish (One’s a parnaomal expert the other is the paranormal) joining him once it’s clear at least one of them fits right in with his intrests. He can deal with people on a problem by problem basis, but he’s just not good at dealing with their emotional needs or opening up.  It’s why this works so well: his oblviousness fits. To him and the way his brain works, the crown is just a problem to solve and he just needs diffrent tools to fix it, not realizing replacing the kids for a mission would bother them or they’d ever think they were replaceable. Until now I hadn’t seen much similarity to Huey but both.. are just not great with PEOPLE. They put them in boxes, try to solve problems that way.. it’s just their specific issues that way are diffrent. Scrooge can anticapte the unknown and how people he’s fighting act.. but can’t anticipate personal hurt and pain well because he bottles all his up. When checking off a problem.. i’ts just something he dosen’t consider and thus his biggest blindspot, the thing he has to overcome time and time again: How his family feels and how he can deal with it.  Here however he deals admirably.. now he KNOWS there’s a problem, and in a genuine show of character development over the past three seasons, he apologizes fully, saying their the best team he could ask for, better than zeus and don’t need his powers and they can get the helm together. Instead of putting up walls.. he’s letting his in and showing humility, which given Scrooge’s ego.. is a tall order. But for those kids, for his strength, it’s no small feet. Of course said speech gets Him and Della eaten, but the kids, now reinegized, ahve time to plan, with Daisy further stalling by roaring at Chronus to stop. Because she’s fucking awesome and Storkules finally gets that. The kids however take the leaves and breifly retake their powers, Dewey’s is for dance naturally, and use them together to take down Chronus, freeing everyone else, defeating the titan and throwing him back into the pits.  Donald and Daisy reunite and get a RELLY sweet moment, blushing and looking lovingly at one another, getting lava on each other, before kissing. STORKULES, DOSEN’T GET THEY DON’T WANT A THIRD PARTNER OF MYTH, of course interrupts and hugs them hostage for the remaider of the episode. I’m assuming Beakly , when she got home, pried htem out and explained them not wanting a third int heir relationship to him, and it’s a weak end to the plot as Storkules learned nothing and one of the weaker parts of this episode. The rest is stronger as the kids and Scrooge plan to make another run at the helmet and Selene wonders off to “use your shower” and then order pizza.. so she basically just asked Della out. And has used her shower before. 

I mean again, she can have two partners. This episode alone has earned that and they seem like they’d mesh. Penny would just have to learn some lessons about sharing and godly vagina’s is all. Nothing wrong with that. And what about Zeus.. no one asked but he gets his wreath back only to fall in the pit, with Hades naturally laughing his ass off.. and likely also taking Zeus’ laurel back. So Zeus is trapped in hell with a goth mocking him. HORAY! HAPPY END.  Final Thoughts; This was a pretty good one. It does have it’s weak spots: Storkules learned nothing, the kids stories endings were easy to see coming and there wasn’t enough Dellene. But really despite that. .it’s still a solid episode mostly because it’s REALLY damn funny. The comedic timing is just pitch perfect and while like most of the plots I could see the rhythm of the donsy plot, the reasons for it were all funny and fresh and the scene with Daisy in her car was a nice bit of character building/clear setup for the future. And showing off Della’s own character developement and history with scrooge, the latter without ever having to mention it, really brought the episode up, as did the guest cast’s game voice acting and timing. This episode is far from perfect, but it’s still a fun episode that felt needed despite not being tied into the main plot: Bringing back some old friends, and having an intresting story to tell. Plus we got more Donsy so there’s that. Overall while not the BEST episode of the series, it was a funny, enjoyable half hour of television and sometimes, that’s enough.  If you liked this review follow me or more, and if there’s an episode of Ducktales from seasons 1 or 2 you’d like me to cover, you can comission it for 5 bucks, 5 bucks an episode, 5 dollars off your order when you comission more than one, via my personal messages. You can also follow me on patreon at patreon.com/popculturebuffet if you want.  NEXT WEEK: FLASHBACK EPISODE! BABY DONALD AND DELLA! BRADFORD ORIGIN STORY! POSSIBLE HORTENSE AFTER SO LONG! MY BODY IS READY!

[rhosyn-du]

Never make a mess when a total catastrophe will do - Chapter Six

Pairings: Jimon, past Clace, background Clizzy, a bunch of other minor background pairings Rating: Explicit Art: @cor321​ Beta: @all-thestories-aretrue​ Tags:  Alternate Universe - College/University, fake dating, oh my god they were roommates, friends with benefits, idiots to lovers, pining, miscommunication, holidays, drinking games, mistletoe, symbolically significant Oreos, domestic fluff, brief mention of past character death, Jace’s self-worth issues deserve their own tag Summary: What do you do when you find out your sister is not only dating your ex and love-of-your-high-school-life but is also bringing her home for Christmas? Bring your annoying, hot, annoyingly-hot roommate as your fake boyfriend to show them you're totally fine with it, obviously! There's no possible way this could backfire. Link: AO3 , Tumblr Master Post

Chapter Six

The irritation had been building all day, like sand rubbing under his skin, and it was especially irritating because Jace knew he didn’t have a good reason for it. Nothing was actually wrong, just a string of little frustrations that hadn’t let up all day, from the ancient coffee maker in their kitchen that didn’t start brewing when it was set to, meaning he had to go to his morning classes without any caffeine, to discovering he’d left his history textbook at home when his professor announced a surprise open-book quiz, right on through to missing his bus home and having to wait forty minutes for the next one, meaning he walked in the door with less than fifteen minutes before his friends were supposed to show up at his place for a group study session.

“Oh, hey,” Simon said when he walked through the door. “You’re home. I was starting to wonder if I got the day wrong and we weren’t having people over tonight, but then Bat texted asking if he should bring Spicy Ranch Doritos—which, obviously—so I figured you were probably just running late, which it turns out you were.”

“Excellent observational skills.” Jace tossed his bag onto the couch, not looking at Simon, and headed for the kitchen, intending to grab a beer from the fridge. Except when he opened it, there weren’t any left, and he realized he’d completely forgotten to go to the store the day before, because of course he had.

He slammed the refrigerator door shut, taking out his frustration on the appliance. It wasn’t as satisfying as he’d hoped.

“Everything okay?”

Jace spun around to find Simon in the doorway, watching him with an expression that held both wariness and concern.

“Everything’s peachy.”

“Yeah, I can tell,” Simon said mildly. “You definitely use the word ‘peachy’ in casual conversation when things are going great.”

Jace took a deep breath, let it out slowly. “Look, I’ve had a shitty day, all right? I’ve had a shitty day, and we’re out of beer, and I don’t need you trying to get me to talk out my feelings or whatever it is you’re trying to do right now.”

“Okay,” Simon agreed. “What do you need?”

Jace blinked. “What?”

“You don’t need to talk about your shitty day,” Simon said, moving into the kitchen to lean on the counter next to him. “So what do you need? Lily’s bringing beer, so that’s already taken care of.”

It should have been a simple question to answer, but Jace wasn’t used to people asking what he needed. Jace wasn’t used to considering what he needed.

“I don’t know.”

“What about a distraction?” Simon offered.

“A distraction,” Jace repeated, skeptical.

“Yeah.” Simon was grinning as he hooked his fingers through Jace’s belt loops and pulled their bodies together. “A distraction.”

Jace licked his lips, dropped his eyes to Simon’s mouth. “People are going to be here in eight minutes.” He didn’t have any objections to spending those eight minutes making out with Simon.

Simon’s grin widened. “Guess I’d better work fast, then.”

And then he dropped to his knees.

Jace sucked in a sharp breath as Simon popped the button on his jeans. “What are you doing?”

“I know you’ve had a shitty day,” Simon said, pulling down Jace’s fly, “but you can’t be that out of it.”

Jace let out a soft laugh and let himself slump back against the refrigerator door as Simon took out his rapidly-plumping cock and worked him to full hardness with his hands and mouth.

He was used to Simon teasing, giving him almost enough and then pulling back until he was desperate with it. This was the opposite, with every touch, every lick and swallow driving him relentlessly toward the edge, the frustration of his day bleeding away as Simon blew him with expert efficiency.

In almost no time at all, Jace was struggling to keep his legs under him as he felt his balls start to draw up, and he was so close—

And that was when Simon, the absolute fucker, pulled off his dick to remark with far more casualness than the situation called for, “Did you lock the door when you got home? Because people are going to be here, like, any second.”

Then his mouth was back on Jace’s dick, swallowing him down like it was his job, and Jace was cursing because no, he hadn’t locked the door and any second their friends could walk in and see—Jace, desperate and falling apart; Simon, swollen red lips wrapped around Jace’s cock taking him apart—and that was—it was—

There was a sharp knock on the door, and Jace came with a strangled shout.

Simon worked him through it, pulling back only when a second knock sounded at the door. “Be there in just a minute,” he called, sounding far too composed for someone who’d just given fucking fantastic blowjob.

Simon stood, pressing a quick kiss to Jace’s lips before saying, “Somehow, I just knew you’d have a bit of an exhibitionism kink,” and heading for the door, leaving Jace to fumble his pants closed and try look like he hadn’t just had his brain sucked out through his dick.

“You all right, man?” Bat greeted him as he entered the kitchen, arms loaded with far too many bags of Doritos for six people.

“Uh,” Jace said intelligently.

“Heard you shouting and I figured you must’ve hurt yourself. You were pretty loud.”

“I heard you down the hall,” Maureen added from the living room.

“Yeah, just stubbed my toe,” Jace lied, heading out to the living room. “Somebody left his stats book on the floor, and I tripped.”

Simon flashed him a shit-eating grin. Jace had a hard time not staring at his lips, still red and slightly puffy. “You should really be more careful.”

“Going to go help Maia bring stuff up from her car,” Maureen announced, holding up her phone. “Be right back.”

“You do know,” Jace told Simon in a low voice, “that I’m going to get payback for that, right?”

Simon’s smile grew smug. “Yeah. I do.”

After an hour of going over his notes and rehashing the earlier quiz with Lily, Jace was feeling much better about his history class, and even had some ideas for his end-of-term paper. They all took a break when the pizza they’d ordered arrived, and Jace found himself squeezed between Lily and Simon on the couch.

“So,” Lily said around a mouthful of pepperoni and cheese, “you two ready for your big wedding performance this weekend? Please say no, because I’ve still got fifty bucks riding on you not making it through this without panicking.”

“Your concern is so touching,” Jace said. “I really don’t know what I’d do without such supportive friends.”

“Based on what I saw the night we met, you’d spend a lot more time getting drinks thrown in your face by girls whose names you forgot,” Maia said.

“I did not forget her name,” Jace protested. “I hit on her girlfriend.”

“Not actually better,” Maureen observed.

“Okay, one, I had no idea they were dating, and two, not my fault she flirted back.”

“Just try not to get any drinks thrown in your face at cousin Rachel’s wedding,” Simon said, patting his knee condescendingly. And then left it there, like it was totally normal for him to touch Jace casually like this in front of their friends.

“Would it be cheating if I bribed Simon’s sister to take someone Jace hooked up with as her plus one?” Lily asked.

Jace thought she really didn’t need to. He was already panicking.

“Yes,” said Maia and Bat at the same time Simon said, “Oh god, please don’t.”

“You guys are no fun,” Lilly pouted, reaching for another slice of pizza.

“Speaking of Becky,” Maia said with affected casualness, “I was wondering if you could tell her—”

“Give me your phone,” Simon interrupted, holding out his hand. This had the effect of removing his hand from Jace’s knee, and Jace tried not to miss it.

“Sure,” Maia said slowly, pulling her phone out of her pocket. “Why do you need my phone?”

Simon took the phone and pulled up Maia’s contacts. “So you just text my sister instead of asking me to be your messenger pigeon.” He passed the phone back. “Or call her. I’m not picky as long as I don’t have to be involved.”

Maia stared at the phone for a few seconds, then shrugged and put it back in her pocket with a sigh. “Yeah, okay. Fair. I guess I can, like, be an adult about this or something.”

“Good,” Simon said, his hand making its way back to Jace’s knee. No one else seemed to notice, and Jace tried not to react. “Please do it before Sunday so I don’t have to listen to Becky failing to be subtle about asking about you.”

Maia bit back a grin. “She asks about me?”

“Who wants to place bets on how long it takes Maia to actually call this girl?” Lily asked.

~~~

“Okay, you need to turn down the charm a little bit or I think Bubbe Helen is actually going to try to adopt you,” Simon said as Jace returned from his sixth dance with Simon’s grandmother. Jace didn’t think Simon needed to know that she’d used every one of those to grill him on his family, his plans for the future, his intentions toward her grandson.

“Just tell her you’re not into incest,” Jace told him, eliciting a gagging noise from Becky, the only one of Simon’s relatives still sitting at the table with them.

“Your boyfriend is gross,” Becky informed Simon, stabbing a spear of asparagus from her plate.

Jace grinned at her. “Simon wanted me to turn down the charm. I’m just trying to be accommodating.” He grabbed Simon’s hand and lifted it to his lips to kiss his knuckles. It was something they’d been doing all day, exchanging little gestures of affection like they couldn’t quite keep their hands off each other. Which was actually kind of true in Jace’s case.

It had started during the ceremony, Jace bumping Simon’s shoulder when he noticed him start to tear up during the vows. He’d meant it to be lightly teasing, but Simon had simply flashed him a watery smile and taken his hand, lacing their fingers together. Jace’s stomach had made an odd little flip and he’d squeezed Simon’s hand, and they just...hadn’t stopped touching each other. All through the rest of the ceremony and reception, it was a stream of constant little touches that made Jace wish for things he couldn’t have, and yet he couldn’t bring himself to stop touching either.

It didn’t help that Simon looked really good in a suit.

“That’s playing dirty,” Becky huffed. “I can’t hate you when you make my brother smile like that.”

“It’s all part of my devious plan.” He threw a sideways glance at Simon, hoping to catch the smile only to find him glaring daggers at his sister.

“Aww,” Becky cackled, “are you embarrassed? That’s adorable.”

“Embarrassed that you’re my sister? Yes.”

“Consider it payback for your presence throughout my entire adolescence.”

Jace leaned in. “Is there a story here? It sounds like there’s a story.”

“Dude, don’t encourage her.”

Becky leaned back in her chair, a predatory gleam in her eyes. “I have so many stories.”

“Oh, look.” Simon said, standing suddenly and pulling Jace along with him. “There’s Aunt Ruth. We should really go say hi.”

“I’ll still have stories to tell your boyfriend when you get back,” Becky called after them. “Jace, ask him about the llamas!”

Jace followed Simon, barely holding in his laughter as they ducked through the crowd of wedding guests, and then through an unobtrusive door that led out into an empty hallway.

“I’m so sorry about her,” Simon said, finally turning to face him and looking genuinely apologetic.

Jace shook his head. “Don’t be. I was having fun. I can see why Becky and Maia get along so well.”

“Because they’re both more than happy to tell embarrassing stories about me?” Simon joked.

“Can you blame them? It is pretty fun to watch you get all worked up.”

“You do seem to enjoy getting me worked up,” Simon agreed with a quirk of his eyebrows. “But my cousin’s wedding really isn’t the place for that.”

Jace glanced around the empty hallway. This was a bad idea. A really, really bad idea.

He turned back to Simon, a suggestive smile playing across his lips. “You sure about that?”

“Jace.” Simon’s voice was warning even as his eyes flicked to Jace’s lips and back up again.

Jace curled a hand around the back of Simon’s neck. “Because I’m not sure there’s any such thing as a bad place to get you worked up.”

“Literally everyone I’m related to is in the next room,” Simon protested. But he didn’t pull away.

“Fair point,” Jace conceded. He glanced around the hallway, then tried the nearest door. It opened into a room just large enough to not qualify as a closet. Jace raised a questioning eyebrow at Simon.

Simon looked dubiously at the stacks of office supplies that lined one wall, then back at Jace. “How are you so good at convincing me to make bad decisions?” Simon asked before grabbing him by the tie and dragging him into a kiss.

Jace grinned against his mouth as they stumbled into the room. “It’s my superpower. I got bitten by a radioactive advertising executive as a teenager.”

“Fuck,” Simon muttered, kicking the door closed behind them. “You can’t make Spider-Man references when I’m kissing you; that’s cheating.”

“Yeah?” Jace asked, pushing him against the wall that wasn’t occupied by reams of printer paper. “Does it get you hot when I talk nerdy to you?” He tugged at Simon’s shirt, pulling it free from his pants. “Or does everything I do get you hot?”

“Definitely not everything.” Simon nipped along his jaw. “Your ego, for example? Very unattractive.”

“Now you’re just making things up.” He slid a hand down to cup Simon through his pants, and Simon bucked into the touch. “My ego definitely gets you hot.”

“I know—fuck.” He rocked into Jace’s hand again. “I know some guys have trouble separating their egos from their dicks, but I never thought you’d be one of them.”

“Any association between my ego and my dick is well-deserved.” He tugged at Simon’s belt. “Don’t bother trying to argue. We both know it’d be a lie.”

“Yeah, that’s not actually how arguments wo—oh.” Simon cut off, eyes wide, as Jace dropped to his knees.

Jace smirked up at him. “I figure the best way to avoid staining your suit is if you come in my mouth. Unless you’ve got objections.”

“I have exactly zero objections to having your mouth on me.” Simon curled a hand around Jace’s jaw, drawing his thumb along Jace’s bottom lip. “Like, ever.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Jace flicked his tongue out to catch the tip of Simon’s thumb and reached to finish unbuckling his belt.

He froze at the unmistakable sound of the door opening behind him.

Jace’s eyes were trained on Simon’s face, so he saw the emotions play out across it in real time: surprise, then panic, then a slowly dawning horror.

“Bubbe Helen!” Simon’s voice just barely managed to avoid being a squeak. “Hi! We were, uh, we were just—” He looked down at Jace helplessly.

The thing was, Jace had always been good in a crisis. No, that wasn’t exactly right. He’d always been calm in a crisis. Probably as a result of having endured so many starting at such a young age.

So, his gaze and voice were completely steady as he took Simon’s hand in both his own and asked, “Will you marry me?”

He heard a voice behind him that sounded suspiciously like Becky mutter, “Oh my god.”

Simon stared. “Wha—uh. Yes?” His eyes flickered up toward the doorway, then back to Jace. “Yes,” he said more firmly. “I will definitely marry you, which is of course why you’re on your knees right now, and…”

His voice trailed off as Jace pulled his ring—his father’s ring, the only ring he ever wore—off his own finger and slid it onto Simon’s. It was a little loose, but not enough to slide off.

Simon flexed his hand, the fluorescent light above glinting off the brushed platinum. And then he was pulling Jace to his feet and into a kiss that held a decidedly hysterical edge.

The kiss was short-lived, interrupted by a very deliberate throat clearing. Jace kept Simon’s hand clasped firmly in his as he turned around, the metal of the ring pressing into his skin a reminder of what he’d just done.

Bubbe Helen was watching him with a decidedly unimpressed look. Behind her, Becky had a hand clapped over her mouth, smothering what could have been either an overflow of emotion or laughter.

“Young man, did you just propose marriage to my grandson in a storage closet?”

Jace pasted on his best facsimile of a sheepish smile and prepared to lie his ass off.

~~~

“Look, I panicked, okay?”

Outside, rain poured down in heavy sheets, obscuring the passing scenery and dampening any other sounds. It made the inside of the van feel cut off from the rest of the world, like they were alone in their own tiny, bubble universe.

A muscle in Simon’s jaw twitched. “You said that already.” He kept his eyes on the road.

Jace’s eyes fell to the steering wheel, where the soft platinum of his father’s ring still rested on Simon’s finger. “You didn’t have to say yes.”

Simon didn’t respond to that, and Jace wished he could see his eyes, could find even the tiniest clue to what he was thinking. He’d barely said anything since they made their hasty exit from the reception. At least Becky and Bubbe Helen had agreed not to mention Simon’s supposed engagement to his mom until he could tell her himself.

The silence stretched between them as Jace stared out into the blurry downpour. The one saving grace to all of this was that at least no one else knew about it. Their friends would never let them hear the end of it if they found out. And Jace’s family, god, that would be a disaster. Izzy would probably try to plan the whole thing and they’d somehow end up actually married before Jace could even explain the situation to her.

“You know,” Simon said into the silence, “I hated you before I even met you.”

Jace didn’t know what to say to that, didn’t know if there was anything to say to that. That was okay, though, because Simon kept talking.

“Clary’s been my best friend since we were kids. My mom likes to tell the story of how we met on the playground and spent the whole day trying to build a moat around the swing set so no one else could play on it, but I don’t actually remember it. I don’t remember a time when I wasn’t friends with Clary. She’s just always been a part of my life. The best part, sometimes.”

He took a deep breath, threw a quick glance at Jace before continuing. “So, of course I fell in love with her.”

The words hit Jace like a punch to the gut, and he was very, very glad Simon’s eyes were back on the road and he couldn’t see the jumble of emotions that Jace was sure were written all over his face.

“We were in sixth grade when I realized,” Simon continued. “I think I’d probably been in love with her for a while, but it just sort of hit me one day that I was just completely and totally gone for her. And it only took me like ten minutes after that to figure out that she didn’t feel the same way about me, but that was okay. I mean, it wasn’t. That kind of thing never is when you’re twelve.” He let out a mirthless laugh. “Or when you’re an adult either, I guess. But it was as okay as it could be because I figured I just had to wait. Clary was the most important person in the world to me, and even though she didn’t love me like I loved her, I knew I was the most important person in her life, too, so I just figured.” He shrugged. “I figured that eventually she’d realize that we could be, you know, more.”

His voice got soft as he continued, “And then she met you.”

Jace sucked in a sharp breath. “Simon, I—”

“I’m glad she did,” Simon interrupted, and he sounded like he meant it. “Even though it sucked at the time. Every time she mentioned you, I just wanted to punch you in the face. Which is why I always made an excuse not to meet you, by the way. I thought if I did and you really were as perfect as she described you, I would actually hit you.”

“I did always wonder about the mysterious best friend who was never around,” Jace said around the odd lump in his throat he couldn’t seem to swallow down. “She talked about you all the time.”

“Yeah?” Simon sounded genuinely surprised. “That’s actually really good to hear. And it makes me even more glad she met you, because her falling for you, even spending so much time with you, it gave me time to get over her.”

The knot in Jace’s throat loosened an inch.

“By the time you guys broke up, I’d actually dated a couple of people who weren’t Clary, and even though I didn’t feel as strongly for any of them as I did for her, I realized that part of what makes our friendship so special is that it is friendship. And I think we might have really fucked that up if we tried to be anything else, so I’m glad we never did, because my friendship with Clary is still one of the best things in my life, and I’m pretty sure it always will be.”

“Is that what you wrote Random Afternoon about? About you and Clary?” It wasn’t what Jace meant to say at all, but he opened his mouth and the words just came tumbling out.

Simon’s let out a soft huff of laughter. “No.” He shook his head. “It’s, uh. It’s not about Clary.”

Jace didn’t understand what was so funny, but he wasn’t going to ask. Just like he wasn’t going to ask who the song was about. Wasn’t going to think about why he cared so much.

“She was my first love, too,” he said instead.

Simon nodded slowly, digesting this information. “I wondered. I mean, when Clary used to talk about you, it sure sounded like you loved her, but once I found out you were, you know, you, I wasn’t so sure anymore.” He was fiddling with the ring, now, twisting it slowly around his finger with his thumb. Jace wondered if he knew he was doing it. “I didn’t think you were a relationship kind of guy.”

“I’m not.” That wasn’t what anyone wanted from him. Even Clary, who really had loved him once upon a time, hadn’t wanted him to stay. And even if someone did want that from him, he was pretty sure now that he wouldn’t know how to give it to them.

“And there hasn’t been anyone since Clary who’s made you reconsider?” Simon’s hands were still on the steering wheel now, his face impassive in the flickering light of passing cars.

Jace thought back to that night weeks ago, when Simon told him that maybe they wouldn’t be a mistake, and just for a second he’d thought—he’d hoped—but of course that wasn’t what Simon had meant.

“No.”

“Of course not. Stupid question.” Simon flashed him a smile, but there was a worried crease between his brows.

The last thing Jace wanted from him was pity, especially over this. “So, tell me about the llamas,” he said, desperate to change the subject.

Simon winced. “Can we just pretend Becky never mentioned llamas?”

“Nope.” Jace grinned. “If you don’t tell me, I’ll get Maia to ask Becky. I’m sure your sister would be happy to share.”

“You’re seriously the worst,” Simon said before launching into a long, involved story about his and Clary’s third grade trip to a llama farm and how Becky had thought it was hilarious to tell them that llamas were venomous.

“So, there I was, just covered in llama spit,” Simon finished as he unlocked their apartment door, “crying my eyes out because I thought was going to die, with Clary shouting at the poor farmhand that her dad was cop and he was going to go to jail for murder. And of course Becky didn’t even get in trouble or apologize. She just started getting me llama-themed birthday gifts.”

“Just so we’re absolutely clear,” Jace snickered, following him inside, “I’m laughing at you, not with you.”

“Which is one of many reasons I should have known better than to let you meet my sister. Speaking of which,” he pulled Jace’s ring off his finger and held it out, “I wouldn’t want to forget to give this back.”

Jace looked at the ring, then back up at Simon, swallowing hard. “You should keep it. Until we break up.” Something flashed in Simon’s eyes, and Jace hurried to correct himself. “Until we tell our families we broke up, I mean. In case you need to, I don’t know, sell the story.”

“Jace, I know what this ring means to you. I can’t just—”

“You can.” He reached out and closed Simon’s fingers over the ring, holding them there. “I trust you to keep it safe.”

Simon stared at him for a long moment, eyes searching. “Okay,” he agreed. “Until we break up.”

Something in Jace’s chest loosened, and he stepped back, letting Simon’s hand drop from his. “Cool. I’m gonna heat up some pizza rolls. You want me to make enough for you?”

“Sure,” Simon said. “Yeah, pizza rolls sound great. Cheeseburger flavor, not triple cheese, though.”

“Obviously,” Jace said, heading to the kitchen. He didn’t think about the ring, or how naked his hand felt without it. Or why it mattered so much to him that Simon agreed to keep it, if only for a little while.

[jmeelee]

Except at Waffle House

A Sterek AU inspired by that ridiculous Reddit post about the girl who’s BF keeps fighting the cook at Waffle House.

As far as boyfriend’s went, Braeden hit the jackpot when she met Derek Hale. She hadn’t been looking for a partner when she’d stepped into the first class of her Master’s program, but there he’d been, sitting dead-center of the third row in the cavernous lecture hall.  Derek was… different.  Intelligent, well-read, handsome, driven; he’d weathered tragedy and trauma with elegance, emerging on the other side with a soft-spoken grace.  He made Braeden laugh with a wit so dry it kindled a fire in her belly.  To other women, Derek’s obscene good looks—chiseled jawline, soft hair the color of midnight, ass you could bounce quarters off of—might have been his biggest draw, but for Braeden, it was Derek’s hard-won composure.  When she decided to drop out of the Federal Marshall program and pursue her own independent career, Derek never batted an eye.  When she came home from dangerous missions sporting cuts, scrapes and bruises, he didn’t rage over her playing fast and loose with her own welfare.  He simply said, “I’m glad you’re home safe.”  Derek never yelled, never lost his temper, never fought.  He was a dream come true.

Except at Waffle House.

Truth be told, Braeden didn’t love Waffle House, but food was food and a girl’s gotta eat. Derek, however, had some deep-seated appreciation of the greasy chain that stretched back into his childhood, before his parents and older sister died. So while she preferred to eat elsewhere, Braeden found herself at Waffle House a few times a week, feeding Derek’s desire to reconnect with fond adolescent memories.

“Service might be a bit slower today,” said their usual waitress, who’s bright yellow name tag read Erica.  She plopped an iced-tea in front of Braeden, and a steaming cup of black coffee before Derek.  Erica snapped her bubblegum, pulled a tiny notepad from the pocket of her black apron, and snatched a stubby pencil out of her perky blonde ponytail.  “Boyd’s training a new cook.  What’re y’all having?”

Sure enough Boyd, the owner of the franchise, stood at the grill, patiently pointing at burners and griddles while the long-fingered hands of the tall, thin guy next to him flew around like drunk hummingbirds.  Braeden figured the new cook was replacing Scott, who had quit the line to attend Veterinary school.  When you spent several days a week eating there, the Waffle House family became your family.

Braeden was known to make her way through the various menu items.  Some people had their tried and true staples, but she preferred to throw tradition to the wind. One day it was pecan waffles, the next, chili smothered hash browns.  Today, a cheese steak omelet.  Derek however was a creature of habit.  “I’ll have the--”

“Steak and eggs,” Erica interrupted, graphite scratching over the paper.  “Steak medium-rare and egg yolks slightly runny.  Whole wheat toast, well done.”

“You got it,” Derek said agreeably, handing over his flimsy laminated menu.  “Thanks, Erica.”

They filled the void between placing their order and receiving their food with anecdotes from work and a fast and furious game of hangman on the back of their paper placemats.  Waffle House may be lacking in sophistication, but it’s service was always speedy.        

“Here ya go.” Erica plunked plates in front of them and topped off Derek’s coffee.  “Let me know if you need anything else.” But the call bell rang in the kitchen and she bustled away, already half-way down the aisle.

Three forkfuls of cheesy goodness passed her lips before Braeden realized Derek was poking at yellow lumps on his platter with a stiff triangle of toast, watching the yolks crumble like a house of sand.  She finished chewing, swallowed.  “Derek?  Is something wrong?”

“It’s my eggs,” he lamented.  “They’re super hard.  Not runny at all.”

Had she known the repercussions of her next words, Braeden might have given them more thought.  But unbeknownst to her, she was about to score red on the Waffle House Index of how prepared she was to weather the coming shit storm.   

“Just call Erica back,” Braeden suggested, waving her fork in the air.  “The kitchen can whip up another batch. No big deal.”  

Famous last words.  

Erica flounced over, ponytail swinging behind her.  “Sorry about that, honey,” she chirped.  “The new cook is still finding his groove.  I’ll be right back with the correct order.”

Derek thanked her again but watched with hazel eagle eyes as she brought the plate back to the open kitchen, speaking to the mole-speckled guy at the grill whose bed head hair was barely contained under his dorky paper hat.  Derek squirmed in his seat.

Braeden’s eyebrows furrowed.  “That’s a really complex call-in system these employees need to learn.  And all that crazy code with the jelly and mayo packets?  They’re bound to make mistakes sometimes.”

Derek grunted, watching Erica return with a heaping plate of eggs.  This time they were scrambled.  “These are scrambled,” he said stupidly, blinking at the fluffy little clouds.

Looking down, Erica seemed to see them for the first time.  She rolled her eyes and groaned.  “Ugh.  Stiles.”

“Yeah, it’s a style of eggs, just not the one I ordered.”

“No,” Erica shook her head.  “S-T-I-L-E-S.  Stiles is our new cook.  I promise I’ll be back with the correct eggs in a few.”

But ten minutes later a plate of thinly sliced hard-boiled eggs laid out in a flower pattern was placed in front of Derek.  Braeden couldn’t help it, she threw back her head and laughed.  “At this point, I think the cook’s fucking with you,” she told him.

But Derek wasn’t in on the joke.  He pushed the plate away and threw money down on the table.  “Hopefully both his cooking and his comedy routine improves,” Derek grumbled, pulling on his leather jacket.

Maybe now they could finally eat at some different restaurants.

----------

Three days later, they were back at Waffle House.

“There are over 1,500 other Waffle Houses in America,” Braeden said for the millionth time, waving her map app in Derek’s face.  “Look, there’s one twelve miles away.”

“It’s the principle of the thing,” Derek scowled, sending his second plate of eggs back to the kitchen.  First, they were poached, then they were part of a bacon egg and cheese sandwich.

The third time a single slice of toast sat on a wide white plate, a perfect circle cut from the center.  Inside the circle was an egg.  Cooked over-hard.  

Braeden took a fortifying breath of humid maple-scented air.

“Okay I’ve had enough,” Derek yelled, standing up from the booth.  “You,” he pointed at Stiles the cook, who stared back with a wide insolent mouth and tricky amber eyes.  “Take this garbage back and cook my eggs the right way.” 

Stiles slowly pulled a dirty apron over his neck, dislodging his ridiculous hat, and sauntered around the counter on long legs to stand in front of Derek, crowding into his personal space.  Toe to toe, there was barely any difference in height between the two men, though their body types varied greatly.  Derek was built like a brick shithouse, Stiles like a twink.  

“Is there a problem, dude?” Stiles asked coolly, with the poker face of an Easter Island head. The only crack in his stone facade was the tiny quirk at the edge of his pert lips.    

“Yeah,” Derek growled, pushing a finger into Stiles’ thin chest, “my problem is you and your shitty egg cooking skills.”

“Shitty?” The quirk blossomed into a fully grown smirk.  “I’ve made you several plates of superb eggs, dude.  It’s not my fault you won’t even try them.”

“Quit calling me dude.”

“Sure thing, buddy.” Stiles winked and stared Derek down like a cowboy in a duel with nothing left to live for.  Where had Boyd found this sadist cook?

“My name is Derek. Not buddy. Not dude.  Derek.” The words leaked out between Derek’s clenched teeth. Braeden could slice American cheese off his jaw right now.

Stiles smiled like he’d won the lottery, angling his body slightly away from Derek, but never breaking eye contact.  “Hey Waffle House, Derek here thinks my eggs suck.  Do all of you fine, upstanding people think my eggs are good?”  Stiles got several thumbs-up, two enthusiastic whistles, and one wrinkled middle finger from a white-haired man hunched over at the service counter.  Stiles gave the guy a thumbs up. “Thanks for your honesty mister.  It’s much appreciated.”

“What the hell was that?  What are you trying to do?” Derek was snarling, and the look between both men was lethal. Eyes sparked.  Lips wetted.  Fingers twitched. Braeden held her breath, sure fists would start flying at any second.  Derek made muted sounds of rage worthy of an aspiring ventriloquist. They were too close, puffed out chests a hair's-breadth apart. 

Stiles shrugged.  “My Waffle House, my rules.  Rule number one, pull that stick out of your ass, Derek.”

Derek took Stiles by the surprisingly broad shoulders and backed him into the coat rack.  “Next time I’m here, you’re gonna make me my food the way I order it.”

As quick as it started, the altercation was over.  Derek backed out of the overcoats, and Stiles came stumbling after like two teenagers emerging from a closet after seven minutes in heaven.  Derek made a beeline for the exit.

“Oh yeah?” Stiles yelled at Derek’s retreating back.  “I'll show you sunny side up!”

The whole thing was made even more ridiculous by the merrily tinkling overhead bell as Derek slammed outside.

_______

“Feeling up for trying Schwarma tonight?” Braeden asked when they pulled into the lot and parked next to Stiles’ run down blue Jeep.

“Not a chance,” Derek replied, practically backflipping out of the Camaro.

----------

“Derek, NO!” she said.

DEREK, YES he heard, and Derek, her Derek, the pinnacle of poise, yeeted himself over the counter, grabbing the yellow crossover uniform tie around Stiles’ neck.

----------

“At least Stiles didn’t spike Derek’s drink with meth,” Erica shrugged.  Today the two men were rolling around on the greasy tile floor.  

“Are you being ironic?” Braeden asked, taken aback by the seriousness of Erica’s tone.

“Waffle House is an irony-free zone,” Boyd informed her with a straight face. “I’m just thankful there’s no AR-15s or nudity today.”

“Yet,” Erica leered.

What the hell happened at Waffle House?!

----------

“I’ll have an Angus patty melt, and a slice of Aunt Maggie’s Triple Chocolate pie, please,” Braeden ordered as chaos descended around her.  “It’s like when I have food in front of me, everything is beautiful and nothing hurts.”

“That’s the magic of Waffle House,” Erica said sagely.

“It’s something,” Braeden replied. 

----------

She was scattered, smothered, covered in food debris, collateral damage from Stiles and Derek’s ongoing war.

“Don’t worry, Hunny,” a friendly woman in the adjacent booth told her.  “Throw a tide pod in with that shirt and the stains will come right out!  Just don’t eat it like those crazy kids are doing these days.”

“Who in their right mind would eat a tide pod?” Braeden asked.

  The answer was a serious side-eye.  “Who in their right mind would keep returning to a restaurant to tussle with the cook?”

Touche.

----------

Waffle House had a special Valentine’s Day candlelight dinner, which Braeden could have happily gone her whole life not knowing about or participating in.  

Erica sat them right next to the fancy new digital touchscreen jukebox.  Stiles came out, fed the machine twenty dollars, and set it to play “I Touch Myself” by Divinyls two-hundred and forty times on repeat.

Braeden wasn’t sure if Derek touched himself that night, but any guy who took her on a Valentine date to Waffle House and proceeded to fist-fight the cook certainly wasn’t going to be touching her.

__________

Braeden parked down the road and walked to Waffle House, unsurprised to find Derek’s car in the parking lot.  She’d quit going with him two weeks ago. To so many hungry, lost, and seriously hammered people, Waffle House’s warm yellow glow was a beacon of salvation.  For Braeden, who watched from the peaceful vantage point of the parking lot as her boyfriend grappled the skinny cook into a headlock and proceeded to give him a vicious noogie, it would forever be a reminder that Derek was the perfect guy for her, except when it came to Stiles.  Once upon a time, Braeden appreciated the fact that women everywhere were always looking at her man. He turned heads, but none of them ever seemed to turn his.  Except at Waffle House, and it wasn’t a woman.

Derek walked out of the restaurant twenty minutes later to find her sitting on the hood of his black Camaro.  “You’re breaking up with me, aren’t you?” he asked, monotone. She wondered at Drek’s equanimity, which has always seemed so inviting to her before.  Maybe Braeden just didn’t inspire passion in Derek, the way Stiles obviously did.  

She nodded.

“Is there anything I can say to change your mind?”

She shook her head.  “Not unless you can tell me what this is really about. Not unless you can tell me who you are.  Because this person isn’t the Derek I thought I knew.”

Lately, she’d been thinking a lot about a proverb her mother used to recite when she was younger.  Briseann an dúchais trí shúile an chait. The true nature of someone’s character is revealed through their eyes.  Derek’s head swiveled between Braeden and the view through the glass window, where Erica was helping Stiles off the floor, and Boyd was mopping up spilled chocolate milk, and several patrons were still surreptitiously filming the whole ordeal on their cellphones. Derek’s eyes followed Stiles like a wolf stalking prey.  “Shit, I—”

“Derek,” she said, sliding down the hood and coming to stand before him, “you were an amazing boyfriend and a great guy.”  Braeden sighed. “Except at Waffle House.” 

Derek shoved his fists into the front pockets of his too-tight jeans, scuffed the toe of his sneaker against the brick facade of the restaurant.  “Yeah,” he relented.  “I’m really sorry.”

“Me too, Derek.”  She gently patted his stubbled cheek.  “Good luck with-” she gestured toward the golden fluorescent lights, the black and yellow signage, at Stiles standing stock still and Bambi-eyed behind the counter, holding a chunk of frozen bacon to the top of his head- “whatever the hell this is.  I’ll see you around.”

She waved good-bye to Stiles through the window, who raised a hesitant hand back to her, and walked out of the parking lot.

Roughly a year and a half later, Braeden thumbed through a used newspaper while she waited at her local coffee shop for the barista to call her name.  She flipped from business to sports, passing the society section on her way, when a pithy headline caught her attention.  

Waffle Brawls lead to Wedding Bells.

Huh.  So that’s what all the fighting was really about.

Underneath the catchy title was a byline: “Groom learned sixteen new ways to cook eggs during fearsome flirtation.”

“Caramel Macchiato for Braeden!” 

Braeden tossed the paper onto the tabletop, leaving it open to Stiles and Derek’s wedding announcement, and left the coffee shop with a laugh on her lips.  

You couldn’t make this shit up.  Except at Waffle House.

__________

As per usual tumblr won’t let me link to anything so the Reddit post that inspired this story so you can find that in the notes!  Thanks for reading hope it made you laugh.

[ace-in-a-shopping-cart]

Toxic Thoughts

Summary: Logan is ADHD. Songfic of Toxic Thoughts by Faith Marie. This is kind of a vent fic. If you don’t understand anything, feel free to ask!

Word Count: 1,607

Taglist: (Send an ask to be added or removed!) @starlocked01​​​ @spoopy-turtle​​​ @lizluvscupcakes​​ @more-fandon-than-friends​

Logan crumpled the paper with only a few lines on it, tossing it behind him and letting it fall among the others. He didn’t turn back to pick it up, no matter how bothersome it was going to be later. He didn’t even look at it, just started on the next page. He didn’t notice the room growing dark around him, the only light coming from the hash yellow of his desk lamp. 

He stared at the next page, his brain filling with thoughts of failure but unwilling to stop. He felt trapped in an endless cycle of failure but had no way of getting out. He put his pen to paper, knowing what he wanted but not knowing how to get it to come out in a manner that others could understand. So, he tried. He tried again and again and again, he tried to get his words down on the page in a meaningful way.

A knock at the door sounded but Logan didn’t hear it. He didn’t notice anything except the music blasting through his headphones and the words on the pages, the words scattered on the floor. A hand touched his shoulder and he jumped, slipping the headphones down and letting the music fill the room. Piano and violin, cello and oboe, Bach’s carefully planned sheets coming to life within the confines of modern technology now being set free.

Looking up, he was met with a dark room and a father standing by his side, looking over his work as he waited for a response from his son. “Dad? Did you need something?”

Virgil looked at him, a soft smile sitting on his face. “Just the evening reminder to eat, college student.”

A sinking feeling hit Logan’s stomach. It was more than just the realization that he was hungry, it was the feeling that always came when he was reminded what stage of life he was in. It was the feeling that came when he was reminded of the standards he set for himself that he was failing to meet, the understanding that he was at least three years behind his peers in both social and academic standards, no matter that he was already working through his general education prerequisites at sixteen, no matter that he was still in high school but was already starting on college. He knew he was behind, it was his driving force for most of his academic career as soon as he learned that fact. He wished he was told more about himself at a younger age, told that it was okay to not want friends, to know he was behind in social skills. He knew it wasn’t his father’s fault, after all, how could the most recent foster (adopted now) parent tell him anything during his childhood.

“Logan?” Virgil’s voice dragged him out of his thought process, reminded him of the hole in his stomach that needed to be filled with food.

Logan looked up at Virgil, putting his pen down. “Yeah, food sounds good.”

Virgil nodded. “Okay. You want anything in particular?”

Logan did. He really wanted mac-n-cheese. He also really wanted not to be a burden so just shook his head. He knew it was irrational and illogical to not tell Virgil his wants. He knew it was no use as Virgil wouldn’t see him as a burden and would love to make him food. He also knew that bad habits die hard.

Virgil nodded, his smile growing. “How about grilled cheese? Is that okay?”

Logan nodded. Grilled cheese was his other comfort food. “That’s fine.”

Virgil frowned. “Are you sure?”

Logan felt frustration bubble up inside of him like tar, something he could easily get stuck in if he wasn’t careful. He took a subtle deep breath. “Yeah, it’s great.”

Virgil nodded. “Okay. Do you want to come down while I make it or do you want me to get you when it’s done?”

Logan thought about it. He knew he would get dragged back into his hyperfixation if he was allowed to stay here. He also knew that he might lose the train of thought if he were to stop. Finally, he shrugged and stood. He couldn’t find the words anyways so why worry about losing the train of thought that never left the station. He followed Virgil back downstairs and watched as he grabbed the things he needed to make food.

“So,” Virgil attempted to make small talk, “what were you working on?”

“I need to write a poem for my english lit. class.”

Virgil nodded. “Butter or olive oil?”

“Butter. I just can’t think of any words. It’s like there’s too few parameters and too many at once.”

Virgil hummed in thought. “First thing’s first. What are the parameters?”

“It needs to be in iambic pentameter. Other than that, there’s nothing! No set subject, no set length, nothing!” He moved around the island, grabbing a glass and the juice. 

Virgil looked over at him. “Would you get me a glass of that too, please?”

Logan nodded and grabbed another. “I just don’t understand why professors will assign something with so little instructions. Am I supposed to have figured out how to be self sufficient after the rest of the school system drained it out of me?”

Virgil snorted. “That’s a bit drastic, even for me, Lo.” He turned, grabbing another few slices of bread while briefly looking at his child. “It could also just be that most neurotypical people understand how to follow the bare minimum of instructions. Do you need me to pick a subject or length?”

Logan shook his head. “No, I’ll need to do it eventually and I might as well learn now.”

Virgil sighed, turning the stove off and coming to rest a hand on Logan’s shoulder. “Look, when I adopted you, I knew things like this were going to happen. I knew what I was getting into even before I decided to foster you. Your thoughts and feelings are valid. It might take you a bit longer than your peers to understand yourself and that’s fine. Life isn’t a race and you are in no way a failure for taking things at your own pace.”

Logan’s shoulders shook, tears rolling down his face as he tried to screw the cap back onto the juice bottle. Virgil gently took his hands and turned his son to face him, giving him a hug. He ran his hands up and down Logan’s back in a soothing manner. “Yes, you deserve to take life at your own pace. But you also deserve to be alright, to sleep at night. You shouldn’t have to wonder why you are different and I’m sorry I didn’t get to meet you sooner. I’m sorry you had to go through life thinking you weren’t good enough. You are allowed to feel the emotions you do.”

Logan clung to him, tears wetting Virgil’s shirt but neither cared. Virgil hugged him tightly but not enough that he got sensory overload. Logan held on as if he were falling and Virgil was his lifeline. When he finally calmed down, neither pulled away. Virgil still hugged him, not caring about the cold food. Logan basked in the feeling of being loved and safe.

When they did pull away, Virgil allowed Logan to do it first. He pulled his hoodie off and threw it over Logan’s shoulders, dwarfing the skinny teen in the bulky fabric. “I’m gonna finish making dinner. How about you pick out a movie and we can watch it. Your homework can wait.”

Logan nodded, moving from the counter to the living room and kneeling by the movie rack. “How about The Sound of Music?” He called.

“Sounds good to me.” Virgil called back.

Logan smiled, walking back in and hopping onto the counter. Virgil looked over at him and smirked. “That kind of day, huh?”

“Yeah.”

“I think your new puzzle box came in the mail while you were at school.” Virgil nodded toward the table with a package sitting on it. “Maybe you can try to solve it while we watch the movie.”

Logan smiled. “You know, most parents wouldn’t be this chill with things like this.”

“Like what?”

“Homework being put off for no reason-”

“You are mentally exhausted and are heading toward burnout. You need other activities to recharge your batteries.”

“Other parents also wouldn’t deliberately suggest something else for their child to do when spending time together. Most would complain about the child not paying attention.”

Virgil smiled as he plated. “Yeah, well, I’m not the typical parent and you’re not the typical child. I adjust to your needs, you shouldn’t have to adjust to my whims.”

Logan’s eyes misted over and he slid off the counter to grab his plate and the package, stuffing it under his arm to grab his drink and carry everything into the living room for a family night. He grabbed a pad of paper and a pen scribbling the idea that just came to him onto the paper so he doesn’t forget.

Virgil walked into the room and sighed. “I thought I said homework could wait.”

Logan shrugged. “Inspiration comes when it comes.”

Virgil nodded. “Fair.” He set his things down and put the movie in as Logan put his thoughts down on paper. 

The rest of the evening was calm, eventually both ending up in the same corner of the couch as they bonded. It made Logan realize that maybe perfection might be unattainable but it’s something to strive for, even if the ultimate goal is to see the proud smile cross Virgil’s face again. 

[dorigvbcorvis]

The French Horn

A Second Season Glee Story

CHAPTER 3: THE SECRETS WE KEEP - FROM OURSELVES IF NECESSARY

The Muse behind this story is Kurt’s French Horn tee-shirt.  Seen here in ‘The Power of Madonna’ it was also worn in ‘Grilled Cheesus’ - My head Canon since seeing Kurt wear the shirt twice is that Kurt had once played the horn. This is a story that addresses why Kurt quit playing

NOTES:

Since originally this chapter had graphic depictions of high school bullying and the use of homophobic slurs I felt that this might be too sensitive and/or could be a trigger for some and for this reason I split the chapter into three pieces CHAPTER 4 will post likely to my Live Journal or possibly A03 

CHAPTER 1

CHAPTER 2

CHAPTER 3: The Secrets We Keep…From Ourselves If Necessary

Kurt felt his world starting to fold in on itself the moment he stepped outside Dr. Thompson’s office. His hand went to his chest as it tightened - Each step he felt his body become increasingly shaky- more clammy, his legs were like lead, and yet chief among these growing concerns for the epicene young man was the fact that the perspiration dripping from his forehead was now leaching product down his face. For him it was the worst; it meant he had to fight like mad the urge to wipe away the whole mess from his eyes with his sleeve of his wool-blend blazer - If he was in his father’s garage in his work coveralls this would be no problem….

But here at Dalton he still needed his uniform one more day as it was midday Thursday. Oh great! he said literally dripping now - He knew he had to find something to wipe the mess away - but he had nothing, not even a pocket square.

Everything was spearheading into a perfect storm and like added water Kurt had come to an icy cold realization that the last time he felt this badly it was just after learning Korofsky had won his appeal and was returning to McKinley. Kurt knew it made little sense to believe Korofski was behind his current malaise - For one the guy would never drive two hours out his way just to seek him out when it was more likely the guy would have just move on to another target. Deep down It was Kurt’s personal hope that somewhere in the whole f***ed up mess that Korofski had just found peace with himself - So where did that put him? 

Stalled…stalled by what?  fear? Then if fear, what was he was afraid of? And just like that he was back to square one trying to figure it all out.

Shit, Kurt uttered finally wiping the mix of sweat and hair product away with the sleeve of his blazer He had to - It had gotten that bad.

As much as fear made sense to Kurt he quickly ruled this out with the reasoning that fear was something he should have had before meeting with Dr. Thompson not afterwards. Yet looking back at Thompson’s closed office door Kurt knew Thompson was the only thing different in his routine - So what was it about him?

Maybe it was it bringing up his mother’s death and because of this having to stay back a year when he was in the third grade…

‘No, no,’ Kurt shook his head: ruling this out. It couldn’t be this. There had been countless times he had shared how he didn’t have a mom - and sure this often bought back heart ache and tears - He could not recall a time this ever make him feel this physically ill.

Kurt’s head started to swim with racing thoughts he didn’t want. If he were at home right about he was sure nothing at all would be stopping him from numbing his thoughts with alcohol – His Aunt Mildred’s variation on a Tom Collins that entailed mixing champagne with gin came to mind. “Except news-flash Kurt,” Kurt made a harsh point to informed himself. “You only just came off probation…Something like getting drunk at Dalton is not just dumb but you’ll surely get yourself put back on probation or worse get yourself expelled.’ This self-admonishing only made things worse and he still wasn’t any closer to knowing what it was exactly that was making him he feel like crap and he was running out of ideas.

The only thing Kurt knew looking at his watch was that the lunch hour had almost slipped away completely without him eating a thing. This revelation made Kurt giggled with a sad laugh - ‘Was is it really that simple? Was this only because he had skipped a meal?’ He of course remembered when he and Mercedes were in The Cheerios and how Mercedes face planted in the middle of the cafeteria’s from not eating. Low blood sugar now seemed plausible and it had a lot of the same symptoms. This was enough to point his feet in the direction of the cafeteria in hopes that this late the dining hall would still be open. Kurt quickened his steps fearing this would indeed be the case.

Just as he expected- Only the cleaning crew was in the hall. Gone was everyone else. He walked past a crew bussing tables with what dishes still remained on his way to the cafeteria itself only to find the cleaning crew had already switch off the heated buffet tables and removed the food trays leaving nothing but lukewarm baths of water. Even the salad bar had been gutted…but what really sucked was The desert case had been completely emptied out he could have totally gone for comfort-food in the wondrous baked pastry form.

“I’m not going to catch a break am I?” It was a loud enough statement for him to start to fume.  That was until one of the headphone wearing cleanup workers stopped and pointed out the three tiered basket display at the end of the counter.

 “Thanks,” Kurt said to the worker

The worker only nodded and rolled his mop bucket out of Kurt’s way

 The worker was right - It hadn’t been cleared out yet. Five weeks of being at Dalton Kurt knew Sandwiches had always been placed in the bottom basket, chips and pretzels in middle basket, and fruit in the top basket. ‘It would have to do,’ He told himself as he rifled through saran wrapped sandwiches Only here too he found his run of bad luck had continued because every last one of them was Ham and Cheese sandwich - Kurt uttered an Ugg tossing back the of the lot he has looked at - He absolutely loathed processed deli ham he found it too salty and that emulsified gelatin sort of grossed him out. If it was to be ham he preferred a slow cooked ham leg that had been properly cloved or pork tenderloin medallions glazed in a sesame ginger sauce and then that had been grilled to perfection …and then he would not ever add cheese.  His stomach growled thinking of food but he didn’t seem to be catching any luck.

He knew it was his own damn fault He should have eaten first and then gone to see Thompson - ‘actually,’ Kurt thought internally correcting himself - ‘He shouldn’t have gone to see Thompson at all - That way he never would have spilled the beans and made himself feel like crap now…Now was that really what was wrong?’

‘Oh crap,’ He knew now. While it bothered him that any additional meeting with Thompson he would end up letting the man know everything - What was really bothering him; the brass tacks of it all, was the risk of his dad finding out all the things he kept from him. It would kill him.  Suddenly Kurt wasn’t hungry anymore he tossed back the bag of sun chips before picking it up again plus an apple from the top basket.  Kurt knew it would be six hours until dinner service.

Kurt quickly departed the food area to find a seat the worker with his mop moved in behind Kurt to mop the floors like they had been only waiting for him to leave.

Kurt tried not to let this too bother him the guy after all pointed out the chips….but the thin irony of it all was feeling like every last thing in the world was eating at him while he went without anything to eat himself.

Kurt was just about to sink his teeth into his apple when he heard Blaine call out for him. And as much as he was secretly crushing hard on the black haired boy with the killer tenor voice the last thing Kurt wanted was for Blaine to see him like this - So exposed, so vulnerable with his heart pounded in his chest like something was terribly-terribly wrong.  Blaine called to Kurt with a tone that was both happy and relieved to see him. “So it’s true -Trent said he saw you in here. I totally looked for you everywhere during lunch.”

“Except where I was,” Kurt blurted, before instantly regretted it. He didn’t know why he said it out loud. “I had to see Dr. Thompson.” Kurt now said, offering up the truth.

The explanation alone gave Blaine pause. He knew Dr. Thompson and how most at Dalton liked the man- It was just as well known how many emerged from his office in tears either because they had lost their scholarship or because they had to see Dr. Thompson in the capacity of the school’s psychologist…given his own bout with the man and how similar Kurt’s situation mirrored his own it was much too likely this was how it was with Kurt now but it wasn’t until Blaine actually looked at Kurt did his happy go lucky demeanor change… “My God, are you alright? - It looks like you’ve been crying “

“It’s nothing,” Kurt said defensively blowing off the question.

Blaine wasn’t about to buy Kurt’s write-off noting how he could “Totally see your eyes”

Caught Kurt was back peddling “What I meant was, I don’t want to talk about it and I kind-of want to be alone right now” this much was true.

Blaine frowns… ”Fine,” he says, after a beat of feeling stunned.  But then he adds “But let me at least tell you why I was looking for you.”

All Kurt had to do was look at Blaine sitting in front of him hazel eyes looking like a lost puppy for him to cave. “Okay - You win. Why were you looking for me?”

“I got comp tickets for my King’s Island gig - Dad called right after our duet in the Commons Room - He has to fly to New York on business so he can’t go.” Blaine sets a King’s Island admissions ticket down on the table and pushed it towards Kurt - It’s yours if you want it” then he adds with a high brow flourish Call it a Thank You for our practice session last night” Blaine returns back to common speech for the details “The plan is Mom is gonna pick me up Friday to drive me there. We’ll probably stay a couple nights in Cincinnati and come back on Sunday”

Kurt silently cursed the rotten timing of how in a heartbeat he would go see Blaine and spending two nights in a hotel with Blaine? …In the same room?  Kurt was kicking himself. “I-I cant,”‘ Kurt said, biting his tongue in protest. “Friday is dinner night - I also have these damn papers my dad needs to sign.”

“What are those?” Blaine asked, suddenly taking notice of the stack of papers sitting on the table next to Kurt’s arm.

“One is for a test I need to take…” Kurt trails off “The others…” Kirk’s voice breaks and wavers as he starts over… “The others are because Thompson thinks I should see someone over what happened”

Blaine was nodding knowingly. “Yeah, he was like that with me last year…But he’s good. He’ll listen…But…you don’t want to hear that do you?” Blaine saw Kurt didn’t seem to be listening.

“It’s not that, not really - It’s complicated - It’s why I have to go home when I so much rather go with you and not have to bothered with this - It’s just horrible timing and rotten luck. And - I am sorry”

Blaine shook his head, Kurt’s apology wasn’t needed - He knew he would have no trouble finding another to go in Kurt’s place. It was that he was just as sorry it wouldn’t be Kurt joining him.. He also heard the hurt in Kurt’s voice so he knew it wasn’t out of personal choice.  It was why he hesitate to go any further talking about Thompson or his King’s Island gig - Instead the first words out of his mouth are only about the test. “Haven’t you taken enough tests? - I mean when I came here I didn’t have it anywhere near as bad as you had it” he looks again at the stack of papers and corrects himself saying: “….still have it”

“That’s because you came here as a sophomore” The voice seemed to come out of nowhere.  Both boys look up to see that Wes was now standing at the table’s edge. Wes was still talking “Kurt came here as a junior, and everybody here knows that’s the year they get you: SATs, Subject Tests, AP Exams….” Kurt’s eyes had widened hearing what still remained. Wes switches to a more personal note with Kurt and asks “Did everything go ok with Dr. Thompson?”

“Yeah, he just wanted me to take some cognitive test” Kurt answered, deliberately stopping short of repeating the bit about Thompson also wanting him to seek counseling..

“Very well. You boys need to finish up here and get to class.” Wes starts to walk away before turning back. Oh, and don’t forget we have a double practice meeting today.”

“Through dinner?” Kurt asks with the kind tone in his voice that would let anybody know he wouldn’t liking the answer if it was to be yes.

Blaine was already jumping to Kurt’s defense. “He’s kidding!” Blaine exclaimed, placing a comradic arm around Kurt’s neck like they both in were in sync while he emphatically added: “We’ll be there!”

Wes raised an eyebrow but he was also a perceptive young man, he knew enough to guess what was behind Kurt’s objection. With a shrug he said. “We’ll order pizza like we always do when our practice cuts through dinner”

It was just enough to make Kurt reply with a simple relieved “Oh?”

“Now you two should really get to class. The Warblers have a reputation to up hold.”

“What kind of test did you say?” Blaine asks wondering if he would be someday be taking the same test.

“It’s called the CogAt - Apparently I was supposed to have already taken it. But I never did. That’s Public Schools for you - gotta love that attention to detail.”

“You’re smart,” Blaine insists like it’s known statement of fact.. “You’ll probably ace it”

“I’m not that smart”

“Yeah, you kind-of are,” Blaine reaffirms with a warm smile that could melt butter. “It’s one of the things I like best about you.”

Kurt manages a halfway smile. He knew there was no ‘there’ yet between them but he loved it when Blaine flirted – It made him believe that one day there could be.

“Well, you heard the man,” Blaine said, standing up.

“Where to?” Kurt asked, also getting up out of his seat and placing his paperwork in his satchel along with his apple and unopened bag of chips.

“I have Algebra” Blaine answered, promptly. “You?”

“World History - I actually think today might be the day I am finally caught up with the class.”

“You’ve been working on that hard enough.”

Kurt pursed his lips - He wasn’t sure if what Blaine said was meant to be a jab or not.

Blaine was already sheepishly offering a correction. “What I meant to say is I hope whatever it is getting you down - I hope it passes”

Kurt drew a hard breath trying to hide his feelings he managed to nod.

The boys left the dining hall not saying much else. They proceeded down two long corridors to the section of Dalton where the classrooms were. Kurt watched Blaine turn down the maths wing “I’ll see you after class,” Blaine said, with one last look back. He then proceeded turning the door knob to his math class and walking in.

As the door closed Kurt suddenly knew he was never going to make it to history… He went straight to the nearest bathroom to throw up the contents of his stomach which under the circumstances wasn’t a whole lot. When he finally had stopped he washed his face. He looked up from the sink, to the mirror mounted above it not at all liking the young man in the mirror staring back at him. Not even a little.

Maybe it was because he was in a restroom - maybe it was because he was dripping with perspiration…or maybe simply after two years it was bound to resurface but standing there looking at himself in the mirror Kurt’s memories came flooding back and covering his face he began to sob.

The pee filled balloons didn’t end with him being chased off the football field - No, That was where it began - It started back up again after the jocks followed him into the same bathroom.

[aaronhart93-archive]

lunch ll jaycee & aaron

Discord thread featuring: Aaron & @jayceelynd

Mentions: @romanbeckett @alison-haynes @davieslandon

When: Monday, July 6, 2020

Description: Aaron and Jaycee make up

Trigger Warnings: none

Aaron.

Aaron literally could not believe that Jaycee that had asked him to meet for lunch, but he certainly wasn't going to say no. Jaycee had been his friend for so long, and not being able to take her everyday really fucking sucked. He knew that it was his fault though. He nearly stopped caring about what he was doing to Jaycee by getting together with Roman. He knew it was wrong and he was determined to make up for it. He didn't know how, but he knew he needed to. Seeing Jaycee's face again, prompted Aaron to grin so wide and pulled her in for one of the biggest hugs he'd ever given. And Aaron was a great hugger. "Thank you so much for suggesting this." He said before Destiny hopped from her chair to give her Auntie Jaycee a big hug around her long legs. "as you can see you've been missed by all." he said with a chuckle.

Jaycee.

It had truly broken her heart what Roman and Aaron had done, the way it was done. It was as if her feelings didn’t even matter. As if her side by Roman all that time was easily replaced. So fast, and so quick. When she saw him, her eyes lit up with a smile, tears filling ready to spill as she snuggled her face into his neck. Jaycee held onto him tightly, and laughed as she silently cried when Des hugged her legs. “I missed you both too, so much.” She choked out. Jaycee never wished how alone she felt on anyone. Not even her worst possible enemy, she was just that kind of person. Levi hid behind Jaycee as he watched Des with a crooked little smirk like his dad. Her breath hiccuping as she laughed at both of the kids joining the hug. Truthfully she didn’t want to pull away but they did need to feed the kids at least. Allowing herself to melt into his hug before she pulled back, patting at her eyes. Mouthing sorry about choking up. “I really am thankful you agreed to lunch.” Kissing his cheek before she bent down and picked up Des and spun her, both of them laughing. “Destiny this is Levi, Levi say Hi to Destiny.” She pronounces Destinys name slowly and he simply just said Hi. Looking up from the kids she laughed scrunching her nose. Jaycee loved her niece more than words could form. She had always looked at her as if she was truly her blood, and would hurt anyone that hurt her.

Aaron.

Aaron had been extremely lonely since him and Roman had broken up. It wasn't until he stopped spending everyday with Roman that he realized how many people he had lost when he got together with Roman. It made him think that maybe the choice that they had made to take a break might have been a good idea. Between Jaycee, Landon, and Alison he had fought and lost too many people. Aaron watched her with pleading eyes as she started tearing up. "Jayc.." he began as they hugged. God, he missed her hugs. He could stay like that all day. He hated seeing her cry, but he was a little happy that she was so glad to see him. Aaron's eyes drifted down to the toddler hiding behind the model. "Hi, Levi. I'm Aaron. Destiny's dad." he grinned, waving down to him. Aaron missed seeing her so much; he really had taken her friendship for granted. He especially missed see her with Destiny. He knew that Jaycee loved Destiny just as much as if she were her blood niece. He pulled his friend in for one more quick hug before he told her daughter to sit down next to him.

Jaycee.

Levi did this little backwards wave, waving at himself as he waved at Aaron the locked his big blue eyes back to Jaycee, reaching for her. Hugging him back one last time, she picked Levi up and sat him in the booster seat and fastened him in, handing him his sippy cup. “I kinda want potato soup, like a loaded backed potato soup, with Cajun chicken salad.” She hummed as she looked over at Des and made a silly face at her, laughing at Des’ silly face. “She always wins at these faces..” she sighed dramatically, bringing laughter from the two little ones. “He looks like his daddy, doesn’t he?” She asked Aaron with a smile, and shine to her hazel eyes. Looking over at him she gave him an assuring smile as she placed her pointer finger to her dimple in her chin, winking. Their own little friendship shake so to speak. It was her throwing a white flag at being mad at him or Roman. “I know you’re going to say I don’t owe you an apology but I do for the way I acted. I’m not saying it wasn’t deserved, or that I shouldn’t be hurt or mad. But I am sorry for how I made anyone feel. I can never take back anything I’ve said. I’m sorry.” She said softly as she finished her speech she caught Levi’s flying cup, only to laugh. “Keeping us on our toes.” She nuzzled her nose to the little boys, causing him to grab her face. Looking over the kid menu she decided on getting him a grilled cheese and chicken noodle soup with dinosaur shaped noodles. “What are you two gonna get?” She asked as she closed her menu, taking a drink of her iced water.July 7, 2020

Aaron.

Aaron's kid was continuously standing on the booth and putting practically her entire torso over the table to color, and Aaron was continuously reminding her to sit down and that that was fine behavior at home, but in public he was asking her to sit down. She would listen to him for about 2 minutes before standing back up on her feet again to hover over the table. Aaron tempted her to sit down the promise of a cookie for dessert which finally may have worked. "She's the best at them isn't she?" he mused, giving his daughter a tiny poke in the stomach as he laughed along with them. The businessman brought his attention over to the little boy sitting across from them. His eyes traced over the toddler's facial features, placing which ones looked like his father's. "Yeah." he nodded. Although he hadn't seen Lane in a while, the resemblance was obvious. The corners of his lips turned up into a little smile when he felt her finger on his chin. He reached out pressed down on her dimple lightly. A wave of relief rushed over him. He had had all of this stressed built up about how he made Jaycee feel and how mad she was it him. It was nice to feel forgiven; especially since it seemed like the whole world hated him. "Thank you." he grabbed her hand and gave it a light squeeze. "I totally deserved it, and I'm so so sorry Jaycee. I wish this was different." He really had just put Jaycee on the back burner after they had gotten back from Europe. He had nearly given up on their friendship, and that wasn't fair. He needed to fight for her. His eyes widened as he jumped up a little bit when the toddler dropped his cup. "Those things never end, except when they're older they insisted on having a big kid cup which make even bigger spills." he said with a tiny laugh. "I dunno...What do you want, baby?" he turned to his daughter to show her the options she had for lunch. "Chicken fingers." she demanded, without even looking at the menu. "That was easy." he laughed. "This shrimp bisque sounds amazing for me. And a chicken caeser salad sounds good too because I'm basic." he mused.

Jaycee.

Squeezing his hand back, holding onto it longer than needed. She really missed her best friend. She was definitely in her loneliest state for the past few weeks. If it wasn’t for Lane, she probably would have done something dangerously stupid. Holding onto hope all can be okay again, someone to have movie nights with. Playing games with Destiny and just getting shit faced while picking on one another. “Oh I just can’t wait for the bigger messes.” She snorted out in laughter. Looking over at Levi, her eyes shined with love for the boy she’s barely known for long. But she knew off him and watched from a car as Lane raised him. Playing with his curls. “Yeah it’ll be stressful, but.” She looked over at Aaron. “When they’re grown we’ll miss it.” Smiling softly as she blushed, feeling like an idiot. “Oh, now I want a chicken with bacon, almonds and lots of avocado.” She hummed. “Should I get him chicken nuggets or a grilled cheese..” her brows furrowed. She was so new at this and needed help from her friend. Giving Aaron a pleading look of if she was doing this kid thing right. He knew she had a fear of being a shitty mom, because of her monster of a mother.

Aaron.

Aaron returned the squeeze. Ha hated not being there for her when she needed him most, and he especially hated that he was apart of her hurt. He wanted to put all of that behind them and he wised so desperately that she could. He was so thankful that he had Jaycee in his life; that she loved his daughter with all of her heart. Having a friend love you is one things, but having one that loves your kid just as much as their own is something very unique. He couldn't let go of that. "I can't even think about Destiny growing up. It makes me dizzy just thinking about it." he shook his head. "I mean, it feels like yesterday that Ali was telling me she was pregnant. I was so scared and now I can't imagine my life without her." It was true that Destiny made him really fucking soft. Aaron smiled when she asked him for advice. "Just ask him." he told her, knowing how important it was to make sure that kids knew about personal choice and autonomy. "He's 2 so I think he's older enough to know what he likes and what he doesn't." He lowered his voice. "If not, just get both and I'll eat the rest." he mused.

Jaycee.

Jaycee was helping Levi color on his picture, writing his name down and smiled down at him. “I don’t want him to grow too fast either. It’s crazy.” She looked up at Aaron with a smile. “She’s not allowed to grow up, we’ve had these conversations on our tea time dates. And she said I can’t help it! I tried to stop growing..” she laughed softly as blew a kiss at Destiny. “Levi do you want grilled cheese or chicken nuggets?” She asked him pointing at the pictures of the food as she named them. “Ticken” she yelled all proud of himself causing her to scrunch her nose at his cuteness. “Inside voices remember” she said softly. “Listen I know you had your heart set on helping him eat what he didn’t but the boy has spoken.” She teased Aaron, thinking of throwing her paper straw wrapper at him but didn’t cause what kind of aunt would teach her niece bad behavior. The waitress came and Levi wanted out of his booster seat to be in Jaycee’s arms. Of course she held him as his little head rested on her shoulder. “Is he falling asleep?” She asked Aaron because all the sudden the boy got warm and she’s figured out with time that he gets warm as he’s drifting off. “Levi, you wanna eat?” She asked soothingly and nothing. Making a silly face at Des and Aaron. “Well looks like daddy is gonna eat chicken nuggets after all” she joked as she put Levi in the stroller, Aaron had brought for them. Jaycee was thankful that she had the strength to put everything aside, and move on with their lives. Hopefully as if it never happened one day. There was so much she wanted to share with him, but was scared with everything that’s happened. Gently she swooped one of the curls out of the little boys face as he napped. “I think I’d be lost if his dad wasn’t here.. Ya know?” Looking up at Aaron with a soft smirk. “It’s crazy and scary all in one right now. But I’m taking each day as it comes. That’s all I can do, right”.

Aaron.

Aaron looked at the boy, then at Jaycee. It was clear that she already had love for him. That was Jaycee though. She had so much love for other people around her. It was something Aaron admired about her. "I keep telling her being an adult is no fun, but she doesn't want to believe me." he shrugged. "She gets everything handed to her on a silver platter and still continues to grow on me."he mused, poking her in the stomach gently causing her to go into a fit of laughter. Aaron chuckled. "Hey, the little man's got to eat." he joked. The way that kid said "chicken" was too damn cute. Aaron ordered for himself and his daughter before peering over at the little man across from him, heavy eye lids falling. "Yep. Kid's knocked. That was fast." he laughed. Aaron was happy that he and Jaycee were talking like they normally would again. He missed this. He missed Jaycee in his life. "Listen, I thought that the first time Ali went on tour after we had Des. She was still so young and I didn't think I could do it alone. But I did it, and it was so empowering knowing that I could take care of a whole other tiny human being like that. I mean... I had to have been 22...23 maybe. I grew up really fast when I had her. But honestly, you have that paternal bone. I didn't and had to learn it as I went. It comes naturally for you though." he told her. "Honest."July 10, 2020

Jaycee.

”Did we listen to our parents?” Tilting her head with a shit eating grin on her face, followed by the look of come on now, we’re not that old! “She gets her stubbornness from you and Ali. You more so!” She teased him, not able to not laugh. Looking down at Levi sleeping peacefully and hummed, wishing she was holding him still. Jaycee loved holding sleeping babies so much, she missed the snuggles of Destiny as a tiny baby. “I feel like she’s grown in a blink, man.” She shook her head, playing with her glass of water. Jaycee truly missed this normalcy with her best friend, they had been through too much to not be in one another’s lives. “I think you did awesome, you hardly needed my help. I observed trust me!” She chuckled softly. “Thank you, I wish I was in his life sooner. Like I missed so much, but I don’t know.. He just. I love him.” She shrugged with a soft smile. “Like with my princess..” she made a silly face at Destiny to play with her. “I would never not treat her as my blood, I loved her the second you introduced us. I feel that for him too.” She nodded her head, as if agreeing with herself in some way. “I can’t wait to be a mom now, and that scares me. I have always been so scared to be like my mom if I had a daughter. I refused to even think of being a mom. Now as time has passed and I’ve watched this angel grow and how happy she makes you. I want that, and I believe I can be better than my mom, ya know?”July 11, 2020

Aaron.

Oh, god. They never listened to their parents. Always sneaking off and getting into some kind of trouble when they were kids. "If Des is gonna take after her father, then she won't listen to me at all." she said, looking over at his blonde-haired kid who was more interested in her drawing than the conversation. "Yeah we're both pretty hard headed, but hopefully that'll make her a little badass." he mused. He truly hoped that one day his daughter would grow up to be able to control a room like her parents. "I know, you better cherish these terrible twos," he said as he pointed to the sleeping toddler, "because they honestly aren't so bad coming out of it." he told her. "Thanks, I think I did pretty good too." he sang. Aaron smiled lightly at Jaycee when she told him that she loved that toddler. Jaycee was so full of love; people should consider themselves lucky to be loved by her because she loved so hard. The businessman shook his head. "You're nothing like your mom, J." he promised her. "You're going to be a great mom." he gave her a reassuring smile. "By the way, I brought you your birthday present." He said, as he grabbed the gift bag from under the double stroller and slid it across the table to her. "It's that bag you wanted in Paris and another thing I just bought for you recently." With he breakup, he had been doing a little too much retail therapy.July 18, 2020

Jaycee.

”See what these two don’t realize is we have technology on our side.” She laughed as she took a drink. God they would have been dead if their parents had use of technology like they do now. Jaycee knew her niece was destined to do amazing things with her life. She has so many people that love her and want to see her thrive. And if Levi is like his daddy, she knows he’ll be okay too. “I mean if I get stressed over tantrums. I end up laughing about it later. So far, he hasn’t had that many. Thank god. And you should feel like you have, because you definitely have, Aaron.” Knocking on the wood as to not jinx herself. “In the end I just want them to happy, safe and healthy.” Jaycee ran the back of her fingers over the sleeping boys chubby cheeks. “I want to be a mom so bad, always have..” she said almost absent mindedly, clearing her throat as she looked at the gift back. “Aaron..” she closed her eyes remembering what she told him to do with the bag.. “I don’t deserve anything. I was really rude.. This.” Waving at their table. “Is enough, for me.” Opening the present she smiled at the purse and tried it on, it was so pretty and just what she envisioned. Noticing something else in the gift back she grabbed it and looked up at him while opening it slowly. “Aaron..” she said slowly, laughing faintly. Her jaw dropping, then closing. “It’s beautiful..” she got up and hugged him tightly. “Thank you both for the gifts..” After their hug she sat back down just in time for their food to be brought out, and like clock work Levi woke up, reaching for her. “Her, little buddy” she cooed as she got him settled in her lap and helped him eat, while trying to eat her food as well.July 19, 2020

Aaron.

Aaron snorted. "God, it's like that Black Mirror episode when the mom puts a chip in daughter so that she can see and hear everything she does." He joked. "I'm pretty sure the daughter ended up killing her mom at the end of that show. In all honesty, I can't blame her; that was wack." He chuckled to himself, then shook his head. "Yeah, they are really annoying at the time but when it's all over and done with and you have some time to yourself or when they start being cute again, you forgive them quickly and try to be understanding." He nodded, then glanced briefly over at his kid. He blue eyes fell to Jaycee and the toddler as she mused about having a baby. He knew she wanted one, and she knew chances of having one of her own were slim. Which broke his heart because he knew it broke hers. He still had faith she was going to find someway to be a mom. "No, you deserve it. But I'm happy that you're happy with this." He gave her a comforting smile. "You're welcome. I'm glad you like them." He grinned to himself, then stood up to hug her tightly. Aaron thanked the server when they brought out the food and started cutting up his kid's food for her and told her several times that she needed to wait for her food to cool down for a couple more seconds before she put a hot fry in her mouth.

Jaycee.

Jaycees head fell back as she laughed at his statements of how whack that situation is. “I can’t with you..!” She continued to giggle, sighing as she finally stopped laughing. A few short chuckles here and there. “Oh, I can’t stay mad at them. Neither of these two could ever make me not love them. Even if someone gets sassy and adult like.” She looked over at her niece who was still in her own world, smirking. “This one, is gonna have so many after him too and ugh. I have stressed over Des, and now Levi. Lord, imma need Xanax or something.” She joked easily, but it was the truth. She hated the idea of Des growing older, but loved watching her grow.  Oh the confusion of loving a child. And now add in Lanes boy. “How could I not love him, he’s beautiful, and so sweet.” She did have a bit of sadness behind her eyes with the cards she’d been dealt, but he dulled the ache. Letting the food cool she put Levi in his seat and opened the box again and took it out trying to get it on. Jaycee chewed on her tongue while having a struggle. Sighing, she laughed and smiled at her friend sweetly. “Will you help me?” She asked as she held her tiny wrist out with the bracelet dangling.July 21, 2020

Aaron.

Just the sound of his friend's laugh made his grin even wider. He shook his head when they finally stopped laughing. "Listen, she likes to think she's grown, and had no idea that she's gonna want to be a kid again when she actually is grown." He mused. Aaron shook his head once again. "You won't need Xanax, Jayc. You're gonna do just fine, promise." He reassured his friend. Aaron smiled, pleased that she wanted to put the piece of jewelry on now. He put the bracelet around her wrist and clasped the chain together, thick fingers fumbling to get the hook through the tiny hole. "There. Beautiful." He mused when he finally was able to get it around her slim wrist. He picked his fork back up and continued with his food, checking in with Des to make sure that she was doing okay and encouraging her to take a few more bites of food when she insisted that she was done. "Thanks for suggesting this." He smiled.July 22, 2020

Jaycee.

”I know if I could go back I would at certain times of course..” she smiled and helped Levi with his drink, while Aaron struggled to get her bracelet on. “It’s really pretty, thank you..” she said softly, with a soft smile as she looked at it. Grabbing her fork she took a small bite, and chewed really slow. “I just missed my best friend.. And even if I can’t ever forgive you for what you did, I’m gonna try..” she looked into his blue eyes. Of course she was still hurt and hated what they both selfishly did. It was bad enough certain people that were her friends encouraged if. Clearing her throat, finding herself giggling at how this little guy was ogling over Destiny. “Someone so has a crush, he keeps trying to wink.” She looked at Destiny with a soft wink, leading Levi to try to wink, only for him to close both eyes. “This is so good, there’s almonds in this salad, and the flavors with the avocado and dressing.. Wanna try a bite.” She totally wasn’t offering so she could try some of Aaron’s, I mean that’d be rude right. But, if he offered she’d gladly oblige. “You know those fried onions you put on like green bean casserole? I accidentally put those in my salad the other day, but oh my god! It was so full of flavor. Gotta try it.!” She stayed as she pointed her fork at him, giggling.

Aaron.

"I missed you too, Jaycee." Jaycee was such a forgiving and loving person; even if she never fully forgave him he knew that their friendship wouldn't be over. Aaron was fucking happy to have his best friend back too. He was really struggling without her. Aaron looked at the five year old who tried and failed to wink back at the woman. The bar owner let out a short cackle. His attention turned to her salad, and he stabbed several pieces her food with her fork. "Everything is better with almonds and onions." He mused. "Here..." He said, pushing his salad towards the petite woman, giving her the go ahead to try some of his food. This was like old times. Plus an extra kid this time. Things were changing though. Aaron never thought he'd be in this position before with anyone, much less Jaycee; his best friend since as long as he could remember. Aaron was a parent, and now Jaycee was nearly a parent to Levi. He thought about when they were kids themselves; how simpler things were back then and how he never imagined the pair would end up here. This was a good start though, and the weight he had on his shoulders about how he treated Jaycee was starting to come off his shoulder. He just hoped she would forgive him eventually and he was willing to give her as much time as she possibly needed.

[xxgoblin-dumplingxx]

Logically Speaking: Four

“Y/N. What the fuck are you doing upside down?” Bucky’s voice made you open your eyes and you sighed, “I was thinking.” He laughed and moved out of the way as your feet came away from the wall and you righted yourself, “About what, Punk?” he says watching you pop your neck.

“Nothing important,” you say shaking your head. It’s hard to put into words. The life you left behind to do this job. Bucky frowns and casually drops an arm around your shoulder. His metal one. It’s a subtle way to hold you in place against him when he sensed you were going to go back to your room to mope. Bucky, since being there in medical after your last episode had been... less tentative around you. They all had, really. You supposed that seeing how little you actually wanted to use your powers helped reassure them you weren’t actually a terrorist. Bucky was the most likely to touch you casually. An arm around your shoulder or something as you walked.

Not that you minded. He was handsome. There were some incredibly attractive men on the team. Bucky walked you to the kitchen and pulled out a stool for you before getting out a skillet. “Well, whatever you were thinking about, I’ve been put on look after the rookie duty today.” You quirk an eyebrow and Bucky smiles a little, “We all realized we were being massive assholes to you... Fury’s report finally came through about the incident and it turns out, you were trying to stop the train to save everyone. And the guy standing in front of it... Not to kill everyone in a five-block radius.” You gasp and your hands slap over your mouth, tears welling up and Bucky cringes, “Hey. Stop. No. That didn’t happen. No one actually died... Except for one guy. But that was a heart attack and totally not your fault.” He gets out the fixings for a grilled cheese sandwich and a bowl of tomato soup, “You did real good. For a punk from some little town in the middle of nowhere.” You sigh and nod, “All I could do was try. He was a client once.” 

Bucky nodded, waiting for you to say more. Or ask questions. When you didn’t, and you pulled your knees up to your chest and laid your head on them, he kept talking. “It must have been hard, taking care of all those people for so long,” he says, buttering bread carefully. “Don’t therapist voice me,” you say quietly, not lifting your head. “Don’t try and out staff me,” you say, “It won’t work.” Bucky shuts his mouth after a beat. In the back of his mind, he wants to say something snarky. He wants to say that you look like a mean look could knock you over right now. He wants to say that he heard you cry in your sleep last night walking by your room. But he knows it won’t help. You might be out of your room but that doesn’t mean the walls aren’t still firmly in place. So he backs off your life before. He can see how it would be a sore subject. SHEILD had taken it away. You’d worked so hard to be something and now? You were a rookie Avenger when all you wanted was your apartment. 

“So, Rookie Duty,” Bucky tried again, “We’ve all decided that it’s our job to train you properly. And make sure you eat more than a couple yogurt every day... Maybe even get you out of the compound for more than visits to the jail.” You look up at him, turning your head slowly, “And today’s your turn?” you ask in some monotone voice that Bucky hates. He hates it because he’s heard Audio of you before. When you were functioning around the depression instead of wallowing in it. He nods, “I thought we’d start with lunch... You keep skipping meals.” He works quietly after that, aiming for some comfortable silence. Companionship that wouldn’t make you bolt yourself in your room. “Don’t call me Punk anymore, please?” Bucky stopped, halfway to putting soup in a bowl, “Why?” he pressed gently. You sigh, “Ronnie used to call me that... Before he fried his brain so bad he can’t use a spoon.” Bucky hid a wince just barely and nodded, “Okay,” he said softly, “what do you want me to call you?” You shake hair out of your eyes and sigh, “My name works fine,” you say. At the smell of something burning her looked down, “Fuck, fuck,” he flipped the grilled cheese and winced at the slightly burnt bread, “Sorry. I’ll make another one.” You smile a little, “It’s okay. I like them that way.” Bucky gave you a look but shrugged and slid it onto the plate gently and cut it in half. “Why?” he asked. You shrug, “Keeps the sandwich from falling apart when you dunk it in the soup.” You don’t say that it’s the only way you ever got to eat it as a kid because your mom would only hand you the burnt ones your brothers wouldn’t eat. Bucky, if he suspects anything other than what you said, says nothing. He just makes his own plate and takes the seat next to yours. You eat. Slowly. He can’t tell if you aren’t hungry or don’t like it or both. You look like you’re thinking and he leaves you to it. You’re quiet as a rule around any of the team. Played things close to the chest. He could understand that they were overwhelming. Loud. “Movie night, tonight,” he offered. An errant sentence you could take or leave.

“No thank you,” you said politely but firmly. He smiled a little, “Why?” he asked. You shrug, “There’s not really any point being where I’m not wanted. I appreciate whatever Rookie Duty or whatever the fuck is supposed to be but... I’m not an Avenger. Never will be,” you murmur, not looking at him. “I’m a social worker,” you continue, “I go into bad neighborhoods with a manila folder and a care plan. I don’t run into battle with Aliens.” Bucky watched you go and gently grabbed your wrist as you walked by, “Y/N,” he started but he didn’t get a chance. You took your wrist from his grasp and walked away, holding your head up. 

He looked at your half-eaten sandwich and shook his head. Clearly, he’d failed. Nat had rookie Duty tomorrow. Maybe she’d have better luck. He cleared your plate into the trash and fought the urge to go up to your room and drag you out. Steve looked around as he walked into the kitchen, “Where’s Y/N?” he asked. Bucky sighed, “Back in her room, probably.” Steve winced, “Burnt lunch that bad, huh?” Bucky snorted, “Apparently she likes her grilled cheese a little burnt.” Steve slapped Bucky on the shoulder, bracingly “Find out anything else?”

“Don’t call her Punk,” he said, “She hates it. Reminds her of her brother Ronnie.” Steve nodded, “Is Ronnie the one on drugs or the one in jail?” 

“Drugs,” Nat answered, getting herself a juice. Steve nodded, “That’s fair.” Nat smiled a little, “Don’t beat yourself up Bucky,” she said, “Y/N spent her whole life trying to hide and help other people at the same time... Then we were all assholes.” The brunette shrugged his shoulders, “She told me she wasn’t an Avenger and never would be. That she was a social worker.” Nat smiled a little, “I can work with that.”

Tags:  @lancsnerd​ @stevieang​ @golddaggers​ @blameitonthecauseway​ @qxeen-of-hearts​ @process-pending​ @xmarveled​ @etherealwaifgoddess @beautybyfire

[thefreckledone]

Pompeii 38

“Naruto!”

Sakura heard the outcry of those around her but ignored it as she darted forward, catching the brunt of Naruto as he fell. She grunted, bracing her feet and slowly brought both of their bodies to the ground. She pressed her fingers to his pulse, glad to find it steady and strong. His skin, however, was cool to the touch and ashen grey. What the hell was going on?

“Naruto,” Sakura murmured, balancing his head on her lap. His eyelids fluttered slightly but remained firmly shut. “Naruto.”

“What the hell happened?” Menma demanded, brushing her shoulder brusquely as he sat down next to her. He took in the way her hands caressed Naruto’s temples and scowled. “Take your hands off him!”

“W-What?” Sakura said, so startled that she did as he asked. She looked to him, confused. “I’m trying to help him, Menma.”

Menma glared at her, leaning in close. “I’ve overheard my parents talking with Hashirama. Strange things are happening in Pompeii. The forest is…doing something to people.  And it’s your fault!” His voice was soft, but Sakura saw a few onlookers react to the statement in shock.

“My fault?” Sakura asked, frowning softly. “I have nothing to do with this.”

Menma sneered, shaking his head. “So you say. All I know is mom and dad wouldn’t want you touching Naruto so back off.”

“Menma-”

“I said back off!”

Menma’s eyes flashed blue for a moment as golden energy spread from him and Naruto, buffeting Sakura and sending her skidding across the floor. She hit the wall hard, breath knocked from her body as her ribcage twinged in pain.

There was a flurry of movement from multiple people and Sakura heard Ino shouting, her voice shrill as she rained insults down on Menma. Sakura made to stand, frowning when she found she could not. Sai’s face swam into view and even through the fuzziness, Sakura could see the anger in his eyes. Was he mad at her too?”

Sakura’s head lolled to the side as Sai lifted her into his arms, holding her close. He looked her over and something ran across his expression but Sakura couldn’t quite read it. Not now, when she was distracted by the pretty light cast by the lamps in the room.

Ink leapt free from Sai’s arm, forming into an eagle as Sakura continued to watch the dancing lights.

“Let’s go home Sakura.”

The eagle’s wings swallowed them whole as something tugged at Sakura’s gut before they suddenly reappeared in Yamato and Sai’s apartment. There was a discordant twang as Yamato slammed down his instrument of the day, a banjo this time.

“What happened?” he demanded, rough voice belying the gentleness with which he pulled Sakura into his arms. “Who did this?”

“Uzumaki,” Sai replied.

“Hey Yamato,” Sakura said, bringing her hand up and patting Yamato’s face clumsily.

“Hey sunshine,” Yamato said, voice soft as he brushed the hair out of her eyes. His gaze cut to Sai, icy. “What happened?”

“Naruto collapsed at Ino’s party,” Sai said, clenching and releasing his fists rhythmically. “Sakura started to help but Menma knocked her away. She hit her head against the wall pretty hard.”

Yamato nodded, carrying Sakura downstairs to the clinic. He set her up on one of the examination tables, checking her eyes. “Her pupils look normal which is good, but I think that asshole concussed her.”

He turned to Sai, who was fidgeting with his hands, trying to ignore the strange feeling that was nearly overwhelming him. It was similar to the way he felt when Shin died, but he didn’t know the name to the experience. He just knew he hated it.

“Sai, go upstairs and make her something to eat. Get her some water too. She’ll need to sleep.”

Sai nodded, throat tight as he watched Sakura list against Yamato’s side. He turned, heading upstairs quickly, hoping to escape the feelings that threatened to overwhelm him.

It didn’t help.

“Alright,” Yamato said, methodically checking Sakura over for any signs of injury. “Would you prefer to stay at my apartment tonight or yours?”

“Yours will be fine,” Sakura said, balance still off. “I’m sorry for being such a hassle.”

“Nonsense,” Yamato said firmly, mouth tightening when Sakura flinched under his touch as he explored her ribs. “May I?”

Sakura nodded, sitting up and nearly toppling over as she tried to pull up her shirt. Yamato caught her and adjusted her shirt so he could check her ribcage. He caught his breath as the livid blossom of bruises came into view.

“Lay down,” Yamato ordered, assisting her in doing so before he began to explore the side cabinet where Sakura kept common, nonprescription potions and the like. He pulled out one clear vial filled with something that looked like a liquid storm cloud. He knew this potion all too well from the Senju compound. While such precious resources were rarely expended on him, he’d seen many Senju use it after patrols or a particularly aggressive spar. “Let’s get you up to bed.”

“Dinner in bed?” Sakura asked, curling into Yamato’s warmth. “That’s pretty special.”

“You’re a special woman, Sakura,” Yamato replied.

“I’m not though,” Sakura said, thinking of the fear in Menma’s eyes. “I’m really not.”

Yamato just tightened his grip on her, carrying her up to his bedroom and placing her in his bed. “Sai?”

“Here,” Sai replied, bringing in a tray laden with a grilled cheese sandwich and fruit slices. “I added the tomato to the grilled cheese, just as you like it.”

“You spoil me,” Sakura said, grabbing the tray and starting in on the sandwich.

Sai sat down on the corner of the bed, watching as she consumed the meal. Something warm burned in his chest, battering against his ribs and threatening to draw him under. He looked to Yamato as he leaned against the doorway, eyes dark with contemplation. Sai wasn’t too good at sussing out emotional responses, but he was familiar with this particular expression.

Anger.

“You need to go to bed, Sakura,” Yamato said as he took the tray away. “We’ll wake you every hour and a half to check on you.”

“You don’t have to worry about that!” Sakura protested around a yawn. “I don’t want to be a burden.”

“You’re not,” Sai said shortly. “See you soon.”

Yamato and Sai watched as she drifted off into sleep, troubled expression falling slack.

“I’ll take first watch,” Yamato said, focus entirely on Sakura.

Sai nodded, moving silently from the room and taking a seat on the couch. He frowned, clutching at the hollow feeling that pervaded his chest.

It persisted through the night.

Sakura glanced up from her computer to Shizune as she hung up the phone. “Another cancellation?”

Shizune nodded, scowling down at the phone. “Last minute too! People can be so rude!”

“At least they called in,” Sakura replied, biting her lip as she removed the only appointment on the calendar for the day. Her eyes burned with embarrassment, but her voice was steady as she said, “Shizune, how about you head out for the day? I know Tsunade was getting your help in a few potions.”

“But what about the clinic?” Shizune asked, coming around her desk to press a hand to Sakura’s shoulder.

“I’ve got it covered,” Sakura replied, still refusing to meet her gaze for fear of the pity she’d find. “I’ll keep working on adding old files to our computer database. Go on now, I can handle whatever comes in.”

Shizune squeezed her shoulder once before heading out. As the bell above the door chimed her exit, Sakura slumped forward, groaning into her arms. Ever since the debacle that was Ino’s party, there was a noticeable drop in clients. Sakura wasn’t sure what was going on with the residents of Pompeii and they seemed disinclined to tell her. She certainly felt their stares and heard their whispers as she walked around town.

It wasn’t surprising really.

She overstayed her welcome.

She always did, eventually.

Truthfully, Sakura lasted longer in Pompeii than she had elsewhere. A full year. She thought, in her most secret of thoughts, that she’d finally found her place, that she’d carved out a Sakura-sized niche into the town.

It was too good to be true.

The bell above the door tinkled and Sakura shot up, shoving her self-pity aside as she eagerly looked to her client. Except…there was no one there.

Wind whipped up Sakura’s hair around her face as a familiar voice said, “Why the long face, dear?”

“Fujin,” she greeted with a laugh. “It is good to hear your voice.”

Fujin rumbled a laugh that sounded of thunder claps. “You avoid my question.”

“It’s nothing really,” Sakura said. “The slow day allows for some morose introspection.”

“I’m surprised you aren’t seeing more business,” Fujin said and, from the way the papers on her desk fluttered, Sakura thought perhaps he was sitting upon her desk now.

“Why is that?” Sakura asked. He remained silent. “Fujin, you can tell me. What’s going on?”

“Well, it’s just…I’ve watched several of the town’s citizens collapse abruptly. I’d thought that they would come here for treatment, of course. Is that not the case?”

Sakura swallowed around her tight throat. “No, I hadn’t been informed. Thank you for letting me know.”

Fujin stayed with her for a while, chattering on about some inanity or another. When he noticed her lack of attention, he huffed warm winds against her face before leaving the clinic.

Sakura followed after him, locking the door to the clinic before taking a seat on one of the examination tables. She pressed her face into her hands and breathed deep, trying to center herself. It seemed that whatever was afflicting Naruto spread to the rest of the town. She couldn’t think of any illness that could do such a thing to supernatural beings like the townspeople. What was going on in Pompeii?

Sakura bit down on her lip until it bled.

Whatever it was, it clearly wouldn’t be shared with her. They didn’t trust her. And Sakura could certainly understand why.

She was the outsider, the interloper.

Sakura didn’t belong in Pompeii.

She’d known that on some level for quite some time now. After all, didn’t the very bones of Pompeii, its forest, hunt and hate her? Why did it surprise her that many of its denizens followed suit?

Try as she might, her hands did very little to muffle her sobs as they echoed around the empty clinic.

Sakura wasn’t sure how much time passed before she became aware of a persistent tapping at the door. She swiped at her eyes, splashing her face with cold water and surveying her face. Her eyes were red and it was obvious that she’d been crying. However, she didn’t have the time for vanity as she hurried out to the front. Two men she’d never seen stood outside the door, faces blank.

One’s face was mostly obscured by a set of goggles, tufts of dark hair sticking out above it. The other was taller, with long red hair and pale brown eyes. This was the one who tapped upon the door in a concise rhythm.

Sakura unlocked the door, letting in the two men.

“How may I help you?” Sakura asked.

“I am known as Torune,” the dark haired man said. “This one is known as Fu. We require assistance.”

“Of course,” Sakura replied, snapping to attention.

Fu stepped forward, proffering his leg. He pulled up the leg of his pants, exposing a substantial third-degree burn.

Sakura was surprised that he was even able to walk.

“Follow me,” she said, glancing askance at Torune as he moved to follow as well.

“He will accompany me,” Fu said, face still slack despite the obvious pain the burn must be causing him.

Sakura nodded, setting him up in one of the examination rooms before pulling on her gloves. She rifled through the potions on the shelves, pulling free a pale blue poultice with a consistency like molasses.

“This will numb the pain and negate any further damage to the flesh,” Sakura said, unscrewing the lid. She used tweezers to pick up a swab, dipping it into the potion. Even with the distance between herself and the potion, Sakura could feel the chill rising off of it. “From there I will be able to apply a regenerative potion. Do you have any questions?”

“Your eyes are red and bloodshot,” Fu said, staring at her. “Do you have allergies?”

“Have you recently partaken in cannabis?” Torune asked.

Sakura snorted at their unexpected questions, even as she continued applying the poultice to Fu’s burn. “I was crying,” Sakura admitted, surprised that it hadn’t been there first guess.

“Crying,” they both repeated, canting their heads to the side at the same time.

Sakura couldn’t help it, she laughed and laughed until there were tears springing to her eyes again. She placed down the tweezers, hands shaking. Torune leaned in, drawing a gloved hand across the corner of her eye and collecting the tears.

“Fascinating,” he said.

When she finally caught herself, she finished Fu’s treatment rather quickly, bandaging the wound. She couldn’t help but be impressed. Not once during the treatment had Fu expressed any sign of pain, not even a flinch.

She completed a prescription note and passed it to Fu, saying, “Make sure to change the dressing every other day. Run by Chiyo’s and get your prescription filled. With the regenerative treatment, your wound should be gone in a week, week and a half at most. Come back by if you see any signs of infection.”

Both men nodded.

“Thank you, Dr. Haruno,” Fu said.

“And where should I direct the bill?”

“Danzo will take care of it,” Torune said. “Goodbye Dr. Haruno. We will see you again soon.”

Sakura checked her phone once more, making sure she was moving in the right direction. She was on the other side of Lake Icarus, in an area of Pompeii that once boomed with industrial prosperity. Pompeii was at one point a leader in the logging industry, as small pockets of supernatural beings moved into the town and found prosperity in the honest work. As the community was built up into the thriving civilization it currently was and the States began to import many of their goods, the logging business fell to the wayside, making way for the varied small businesses that made up the community of Pompeii.

Ahead, Sakura could see several towering, brick work buildings. They were all in various stages of disrepair and covered in telltale burn marks on both the exterior and interior. There’d been a skirmish here between the Uchiha and Senju and the fire damage was the remaining proof of it. A sense of unease crept up Sakura’s back as she walked down the dirt path between the buildings, taking in the gouges to the ground left from decades of hauling logs along the same path. This was a forgotten place, a reminder of the fickleness of supernatural beings. As soon as something ceased to be new and exciting, it was abandoned. Sakura could relate.

So too, she knew, could the transients.

They’d been mentioned in passing by Yamato as he discussed his former duties for the Senju. One of which was making sure that no one trespassed on the Senju compound.

Sakura hadn’t the slightest idea up until this point that there was a disproportionately large homeless population in Pompeii. She’d never encountered it during her exploration of the town nor in her clinic. From what Yamato said, it seemed there was a reason for that.

Sakura couldn’t help but wonder what else she’d been blind to, the amorality that undergirded the opulence of Pompeii.

(The trees weren’t the only vicious thing in Pompeii. Frankly, the people were much more worrisome.)

It was as Sakura approached the boat house that was on the verge of collapse that she saw a flicker of movement.

Sakura turned, casting her eyes up to the old watchtower. It was a tall, spindly thing and Sakura was surprised to find it still standing as it looked like a mere breeze could blow it asunder. There were multiple flat platforms leading up to the top, connected by sets of ladders. At the crest of the tower was a sort of roost, a lookout point from which a keen eyed individual once monitored the logging process. She clutched her seeing stone, catching faint trails of pink energy around the legs of the tower. At the top of the tower, Sakura could make out tendrils of long brown hair.

Sakura set about climbing the tower, tucking her bag against her side as she scampered from one ladder to the next. The wind coming off the lake buffeted her as she climbed higher and higher until, finally, she stood on the platform below the roost. There was a sort of door in the floor of the roost that Sakura pushed open as she climbed through. She looked up into the wary faces of four strangers.

All were dressed in ill-fitting, threadbare garments that hung loosely about their limbs. There was a gaunt look to them, a hunger that ran bone-deep. Sakura now saw that the wisps of hair belonged to the sole woman in the group who looked up at her with baleful dark eyes.

“What do you want?” one of them, his face covered in bandages, demanded, leaping to his feet. “What could you possibly want from us?”

Sakura stayed in her position low to the ground, holding up her empty hands. “I don’t want anything from you. I brought some items with me I’d like to give you. If you’re willing, I’d like to give you a physical check-up and make sure you’re doing well.”

He laughed, the sound grating with anger. “We know better than to trust doctors around here.”

Sakura looked between them all, taking in their resolute expressions before nodding. “Very well. I’ll just leave these things here and go,” Sakura said as she reached for her bag.

As she did so, the bandaged man’s arms came up and she saw the glint of silver before she heard a high-pitched whistling. Sakura frowned for a moment as her ears began to ring and suddenly she was falling over, clutching at the side of the roost. She brought a shaky hand up to her ear, staring as it came away tacky with blood.

“What did you do?” Sakura asked, voice distant and garbled even to herself. It was as if she was speaking underwater. “How did you rupture my eardrum?”

“With the ‘blessing’ the last doctor in Pompeii gave me,” he replied, moving over to her side.

“Dosu, what the hell are you doing?” the woman in the group hissed. “If anyone in town finds out…”

“Remember what happened last time?” one asked. Sakura wasn’t sure if it was the disorientation or not, but it looked like he had six arms. “We can’t afford another purge.”

“Shut up!” Dosu snapped, pulling her bag roughly from Sakura’s shoulder. She didn’t protest, merely holding her ear. “What have we here?” He stopped as he surveyed the bag’s contents, turning an assessing eye back to Sakura.

“What is it?” the woman asked, standing up and making her way over.

“She wasn’t lying,” Dosu said, voice soft and unreadable.

Sakura blinked as something was thrust into her face. A hand. She took Dosu’s hand, allowing him to pull her to her feet once more. Sakura nearly fell against him, her equilibrium thrown by her perforated eardrum. He braced her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders as he assisted her over to the rest of the group. They all made space for her upon the pallets and furs they had gathered in this corner of the roost.

“Sorry about Dosu,” the six-armed man said, glaring at Dosu. “He means well but he is far too hasty.”

Dosu made a response, but it wasn’t one that Sakura could hear, seeing as he sat to her right side.

“I should be the one apologizing,” Sakura replied. “I didn’t even stop to think how my approach could be seen as threatening. I am sorry for frightening you.” All of them paused in their brewing argument, just looking at her. “Here,” Sakura said, taking the bag from Dosu and opening it up. She wanted a distraction from the weight of their stares. “I brought a few blankets with me. I have some coats back at home as well, but I wasn’t sure about sizes. Oh, and I have some food items!” Sakura began doling out the items, until she reached the bottom of the bag.

She pulled her stethoscope free, looking at the four individuals. “I know that you’ve been mistreated in the past by doctors and for that I am truly sorry. I cannot begin to imagine the betrayal you experienced at that doctor’s hands. Please, I ask that you will consider receiving a check-up. I will be as quick and noninvasive as possible.”

They all exchanged looks for a moment before the woman moved forward, situating herself in front of Sakura. “I’m Kin,” she introduced. “I would be happy to receive a physical from you.”

Sakura quickly set to work, making the best of the unconventional circumstances. Now that they’d deemed her a non-threat, the group was rather lively, making sure to introduce themselves: Dosu, Kidomaru, Kin, and Zaku. With her perforated eardrum, Sakura only caught snippets of the conversation that swirled around her, but she appreciated their general good cheer.

As Sakura brushed Kin’s hair away from her back, Kin flinched, hand clamping down on the side of her neck. Everyone fell silent as Sakura withdrew her hands.

Sakura’s eyes caught on the side of Kin’s neck. There was a bandage there, in a similar position to the one she saw on Juugo just a few weeks ago. As Sakura covertly looked over the others, she found similar bandages in the same area.

“What happened to you all?” Sakura asked, voice soft with empathy. “Who did this to you?”

“Orochimaru,” Kidomaru said, arms folding in disgust.

“Kabuto,” Dosu said at the same time.

“Kabuto?” Sakura asked, unfamiliar with the name.

“The last doctor in Pompeii,” Zaku said, speaking up for the first time aside from introductions. “He was twisted, thought he could bend the laws of reality and unreality to his vision...by the time his experiments were discovered, it was too late for many of us.”

“What happened to him?” Sakura asked.

“He was destroyed,” Kidomaru replied, grim satisfaction in his face. “Consumed by his experiments until not a trace of him was left upon this plane of existence.”

“How does this relate to Orochimaru?”

“Kabuto was a fanatic follower of the snake,” Kin replied, lifting the bandage at her shoulder. Three tear shaped dots were arranged in a circle. “He followed meticulously in Orochimaru’s footsteps, branding us as the monsters among monsters.”

“And now you live here?” Sakura asked, treading lightly.

Dosu snorted. “Kabuto chose his targets well; none of us were attached to large, established clans. We didn’t have roots in Pompeii, so when the time came and all was revealed...well, it was easy enough to uproot us and sweep us into the cracks.” Sakura was almost certain he was smiling beneath the bandages. “We’re weeds after all.”

Sakura stood to her feet abruptly, lurching to the right as her lack of balance made itself known.

“Sakura?”

“No,” Sakura said. “You aren’t just something that can be tossed aside!” She traipsed recklessly toward the hatch in the floor, oblivious to the way that Kidomaru’s arms came up on both sides of her, ready to catch her should she fall. She stopped beside the hatch, gesturing out to the abandoned logging mill. “So they decided to overlook you and leave you to rot, fine. You’re made of sterner stuff; you’re weeds dammit!” Sakura grinned, looking at them again. “Do you know what weeds do best? They come back again and again, making those inhospital cracks a home.”

“What do you plan to do?” Zaku asked, watching her with wide eyes.

“We’re gonna make this place a home,” Sakura replied.

Sakura marched back toward her apartment, joy making her light and airy. Her plans were coming along quite nicely, thanks to the efforts that both Sai and Yamato made to assist. It had been a rough start truthfully, especially when they realized that her eardrum was ruptured. Still, with a quick recovery to the injury and some fast talking on Sakura’s part, they made peace with the idea of helping.

The two of them were still at the logging mill, assisting Dosu and the others in making the place truly habitable once more.

She just had to grab a few items, the journal among them, and she’d be heading back to continue the rebuilding process. As she rounded to the front of the clinic, Sakura paused as she took in the sight of a nondescript black vehicle. Among the luxury cars of Pompeii, it stood out in its plainness.

Trepidation rising, Sakura’s gaze moved toward the door where she met bright red eyes.

“I need to ask you some questions,” Tobirama said, mouth firm and gaze hard.

[dragonbagel]

rhack single dad AU that i forgot to post here

Rhys is pretty good at handling shitty situations. He's managed to balance climbing the cutthroat Hyperion corporate ladder and paying for his lunch-leeching best friend's lunch for years, all while raising his daughter on his own after his fiancee (and the mother of his child) jumped ship.

With all his amazing skills, a stupid crush shouldn't even put a frown on Rhys' pretty, pretty face.

Except for the fact that this crush happened to be on Handsome fucking Jack.

you can read it on ao3 (there are multiple chapters)

Rhys had a crush on Handsome Jack.

He tested the weight of the words out in his mind. Rhys, a middle manager turned PA, had a crush on Handsome Jack, the terrifying CEO in charge of an entire space station.

Yeah, he was fucked.

He’d denied it at first, those strange, fluttery feelings in his stomach whenever he was around Jack. It was just nerves, it had to be. He’d never had feelings for another guy before, and the whole thing was kind of freaking him out. He’d always thought of himself as straight, and tried to remind himself of that in an attempt to will away his stupid fucking crush.

But he knew what it meant when his heart rate picked up, when his hands felt clammy and he acted even more awkward than usual. He may have spent the past few years single, but that didn’t mean he’d forgotten the signs.

Rhys had a crush on Handsome Jack.

He sighed as he gathered up his belongings and exited the office. There was no way this would end well for him; but Rhys had always been a sucker for making bad decisions.

“Dad, pay attention! I asked if you wanted any more tea.”

“Hmm?” Rhys said, snapped out of his embarrassing thoughts of Jack and back into the reality of his daughter’s imaginary tea party that he was attending.

“Daaaaaad,” she whined, and Rhys flashed her a grin.

“Right, right. I’ll have another cup, your majesty.”

Tina huffed. “Well, that’s too bad, because I just gave the rest of the tea to Zer0.”

She gestured to her Vault Hunter stuffed animal, which was seated next to Rhys. He snorted; her stubbornness reminded him of himself.

“Well, if I go make you some grilled cheese, would you maybe consider getting more tea for me?”

Tina mulled the offer over for a moment before her stomach growled loudly, and Rhys laughed as he stood up from the table. “I’ll take that as a yes.”

He hummed as he set about preparing dinner, glancing up every few minutes to make sure Tina was still pretending to make tea and not getting herself into trouble. Raising a kid on his own had allowed him to perfect the art of multitasking, especially now that Tina was nine with a tendency for mischief.

Well, Rhys thought he had a knack for multitasking. The smoke alarm suddenly going off proved otherwise.

“Shit!” he said, nearly burning himself in his haste to take the grilled cheese off the stove and waving away the smoke.

“Dad, you said a bad word!” Tina said, looking up from where she’d been adjusting her Axton doll in its seat. She wasn’t really fazed by the burning food, considering her dad wasn’t exactly a master chef.

“Sorry, sorry,” Rhys said quickly, scrambling to turn off the still-beeping smoke alarm. “I was too busy thinking about how excited I was for that tea.”

The real reason for his distraction was too embarrassing to admit, even to himself: I was too busy thinking about Handsome Jack.

“I’ll order us some pizza, okay?” He pulled out his ECHOcomm, entering the number he knew by heart (he’d already said he wasn’t a great cook, alright?).

“Mhmm,” Tina said, yawning as she poured imaginary tea into Rhys’ glass; he hoped the pizza would come soon, because dealing with his cranky daughter was the opposite of fun.

He slid into the seat across from her, blowing on his “tea” before miming taking a sip. “You’re too good to me, my queen.”

Tina smiled, showing off a few missing teeth. “I know.”

Rhys was exhausted when he came into work the next day. Tina had run into his room in the middle of the night hysterically crying from a nightmare, and Rhys had spent hours trying to calm her down before she finally fell asleep in his bed next to him.

“Mornin’, cupcake.”

Rhys looked up from where he’d been unloading his work bag to see Jack standing before him, flashing him with a grin.

“Hey Jack,” he said, yawning.

“You look tired,” Jack said, stating the obvious.

“Yeah, just, um, give me a sec to finish my coffee, then I’ll be good as new.” Rhys ended his sentence with a yawn before bringing his travel mug up to his lips, attempting to hide the blush on his face.

Really, Rhys? “Good as new?” What kind of lame bullshit is that?

“You’d better be,” Jack said, bringing Rhys back from his mental chastisement. “Hyperion needs you, Rhysie.”

His words sent Rhys’ mind reeling in the sappiest of directions, and he quickly nodded before he had the chance to say any more stupid crap to embarrass himself with.

“Oh, and make sure to look over that email we’re sending out to Torgue.” Jack had returned to his desk, spinning around in his chair like the hyperactive man-child he was.

“You mean the one telling them to go suck a kraggon’s dick and stop trying to copy our designs?” Rhys replied as he opened the file.

“Yep,” Jack said, laughing. “That’s the one.”

Rhys hated that Jack’s laugh sent fuzzy feelings through his entire body, even if it was at the expense of the childish email that Rhys would later have to draft an apology for.

The office was soon filled with silence aside from the clicking of keys, and Rhys wasn’t sure how much time had passed before Jack put a hand on his shoulder.

Rhys had startled at the touch, having been so engrossed in his work that he hadn’t even noticed Jack approaching him.

“Hey, kitten, why don’t you take the rest of the afternoon off? I’ve got an… appointment coming in for a little chat in a few minutes.”

Rhys had worked for Jack long enough to know that this was code for “some asshole is coming in and he’s not making it out alive,” and he wondered who the poor soul was this time.

“Oh, um, okay, sure. Thanks for the heads up.”

Rhys fumbled for the work he needed to finish at home as he packed up his bag, acutely aware of the fact that Jack hadn’t removed his hand from his shoulder.

“I know you’re not a huge fan of the whole bloody murder thing,” Jack said, chuckling.

Rhys shivered at the sound, praying that Jack couldn’t tell. “That’s an understatement.”

He stood up as he heard the doorbell to the office ring, frowning slightly at the loss of physical contact.

“See you tomorrow?”

Jack shot him finger guns as he exited the office, sidestepping an antsy, vaguely familiar guy from accounting (he was pretty sure Vaughn had bitched about him at one time or another). “You know it, kitten.”

Rhys was glad he was out of the office, because the obvious redness of his face was cringe-worthy in its unprofessionalism. He stopped in the Hub of Heroism to grab food, having forgotten to go on a lunch break as usual. He even bought extras to reheat for dinner that night, considering the fiasco that had been his attempt at cooking the previous evening.

The apartment, when Rhys finally arrived home to it, felt empty without Tina inside. She was usually home earlier than him, playing games with Vaughn or Yvette once they picked her up from after-school daycare. It wasn’t Rhys’ fault Handsome Jack overworked him, and he couldn’t exactly complain about his job; he had two people to support on his paycheck, and living on Helios wasn’t exactly cheap.

He watched TV as he ate his meal, then took some time to catch up on dishes and other housework that needed to be done. Tina was like a tornado tearing through the house, and her definition of “cleaning” was very different from Rhys’.

Even after his extensive cleaning, he still had a few hours before he could surprise Tina and Vaughn when they arrived. Despite all the coffee he’d had earlier, he really was exhausted, and a nap sounded heavenly.

He stripped down to his boxers and sank into the mattress with a sigh; it had been a long time since he’d been able to properly indulge in the “treat yourself” mindset. This was probably why he ended up jerking off before falling asleep.

And while he hated himself for it, he couldn’t deny that he’d done it while thinking about Jack.

Rhys was roused from his nap by the weight of a child crashing down onto him, knocking the air out of his lungs.

“Daddy, you’re home early!” Tina cried excitedly, hugging him as Rhys looped an arm around her back.

“Yep,” he said, groaning. “I think you broke like half my ribs, kid.”

“Oops!” Tina said, easing off of him but looking anything but apologetic.

Rhys grinned as he pushed her onto the sheets next to him, tickling her stomach as she screamed at him to stop. Tears had sprung in her eyes as she laughed, and she was weakly pushing at Rhys.

“What’s going on in here?” Vaughn appeared in the doorway, an amused look on his face.

“Someone just tried to crush me, so I’m getting payback.” Tina shrieked as she giggled, kicking her legs out wildly and accidentally hitting Rhys in the crotch.

Rhys stopped his attack with an “oompf,” and Vaughn had to cover his mouth to stop from laughing out loud.

“Come on, Tina,” Vaughn said, holding his hand out. “Let’s give your dad some time to get dressed. I found some Chinese food in the fridge we can eat.”

Rhys mouthed a “thank you” to his bro before shouting, “Don’t touch the tofu triangles, those are mine!”

“Nobody wants to eat your disgusting rubber food!” Vaughn called back, and Rhys heard the unmistakeable sound of his daughter’s laughter.

He rolled his eyes as he forced himself to get out of bed and put some clothes on, his stomach rumbling. He really didn’t thank Vaughn enough for all the help he’d given him, especially after…No. Don’t think about her. Don’t even think her name.

Vaughn and Tina were eating stir fry and watching cartoons when Rhys entered the kitchen, and he smiled appreciatively at his own plate of reheated food at the table. Tina had arranged the little triangles into a heart, and Rhys only hoped Vaughn had reminded her to wash her hands first.

Oh well. If he was going to die of food poisoning after this meal, it wouldn’t be such a horrible way to go.

[bornconfused444]

Do you wear a ring on your finger? Sometimes.

What are you doing? This and waiting or Nascar to start.

Do you like the song ‘I Kissed A Girl’ by Katy Perry? Kind of but I don’t really like her music in general.

Do you listen to your friends’ advice when they give it to you? Sometimes.

What’s the last kind of soup you ate? Uhh I don’t know.

Do you currently have a sunburn? No.

Could you eat nothing but grilled cheese for a week straight? Noooo.

What are you listening to right now? Nothing.

Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced? Yes and I did but it fell out.

Can you trust most people? No.

Has anyone hurt or betrayed you recently? Yes.

Is your last ex still someone you care about? No.

Do you still have feelings for your ex? No.

Are you someone’s best friend? Yes.

Biggest annoyance in your life right now? My relationship is in limbo until we figure something out.

Have you spoken to your mother today? No.

Do you have any tattoo/ piercings? No tattoos piercings yes.

Latest you stayed up in the past week? Like 1.

Be honest, do you miss anyone? No.

Anything bothering you at the moment? Yes.

What are your plans for tonight? Watch Nascar.

Will tomorrow be better than today? I don’t know I mean today’s been pretty great have you seen the weather here?! IT’S FINALLY SUNNY after like a week straight of raining. Is this London or Vancouver, jeez.

Are you the youngest person living in your house? Yes.

How was last night? Boring.

Do you think you will be in a relationship three months from now? I don’t know.

Do you ever think “what if” about anything? Yeah.

Where is your phone right now? On the other side of the couch.

Do you know anyone that smokes weed? Yes

When was the last time you cried? And why? Last night because of an argument.

How’s your week been? Good for the most part.

Who did you last text? Best friend.

Who’d you last call? About what? I don’t remember.

Is there someone who you instantly smile when you receive a message from? No.

If someone liked you right now, would you want them to tell you? Yes.

When did you last eat pizza? A couple weeks ago.

Are you currently frustrated with someone? Yes.

Do you tend to make things complicated? Yes.

Do you like your hair? Yeah usually.

Is there a girl you absolutely can not stand? Yes.

Have you graduated from high school? Yes.

Has anyone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear? No.

Do you ever leave the house without make up on? Nope.

Do you expect to be married in the next two years? I never want to get married so.

Did you receive a good morning text today? No

Is there anyone you would seriously punch right now if you had the chance? No.

What’s most important in a relationship: honesty or trust? Trust.

Do you like to cuddle? Yes.

What time did you wake up this morning? Like 9.

The last person you kissed calls you, what are they calling for? I don’t know because he doesn’t have calling so it must be important if he’s willing to pay extra for calling.

What are you planning on doing after this survey? Another survey probably.

Is your ”love life” complicated? Yes.

What ruined your day today? Nothing yet but it’s only lunch time I’ll be up another like 10 hours I’m sure something can go wrong.

Is any part of you sad at all? Yes.

If you had to choose between a million dollars or to be able to change a regret which Money.

Where will you be 2 hours from now? Here but watching nascar instead of doing this.

Name the person that has honestly hurt you the most in life? Dad.

What is the last thing you said aloud? I don’t know.

What were you doing at 8 am this morning? Sleeping.

The last person you kissed, is he/she single now? I don’t know we have to figure that shit out eventually but he’s at a friends today so I don’t think we’ll be figuring that out today.

How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed? A lot.

Think back to the person you fell hardest for, do you still feel that way? Nope.

Have you kissed anyone with a tattoo before? Yes.

Is there someone you’d like to hug right now? Yes.

Why aren’t you in bed? Because I’m downstairs waiting for Nascar to start.

Do you have any plans for tomorrow? Nope.

What is on your mind right now? This question and how impatient I am for Nascar to start.

Do you think someone is thinking about you right now? Nope.

Has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes? Yes.

Is the last person you kissed more than 2 years older than you? Nope.

Do you think anyone has feelings for you? I don’t know.

Do you talk about your feelings or hide them? Depends on who I’m talking to and what my feelings are.

Honestly if you could go back 9 months and change something, would you? Yes.

When is the next time you will kiss someone? I don’t know.

Are you single? I don’t know.

So, the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3AM, do you let them in? No.

Are you dating the last person you talked to? No.

Don’t tell me lies, is the last person you texted attractive? My best friend? She’s not very pretty but she’s nice :) <-- That slightly bitchy answer though. Yes the last person I texted is attractive.

Do you know anyone whose birthday is tomorrow? No.

Who was the last person that apologized to you? I don’t remember.

Are you afraid of falling in love? Yes.

Does it bother you when people smoke around you? No.

How many people have you kissed whose name started with an M? None.

Ever kissed a smoker? Yes.

Honestly - have you ever written something on a bathroom stall? Yes.

Are you the oldest, middle, youngest, or an only child? Youngest.

Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with? No.

Did you ever waste too much time on a certain boy or girl? Yes.

Have you ever kissed someone who was over 21? Yes.

How old will the last person you kissed be on his/her next birthday? 23.

Will you have sex tonight? No.

Think back to your most important relationship, was it all your fault it ended? It was both our faults.

Your last kiss probably meant nothing to you, right? No it meant something.

Last person you were on the phone with for more than 20 minutes? Don’t remember.

Can you get over people easily? Sometimes. It really depends on the person.

Where did you get the shirt you are wearing? I don’t remember.

Does your ex miss you? I don’t know.

If the last person you kissed tried to kiss you again, would you start kissing? Not at this point because we’re arguing.

Did you sleep alone last night? Yes.

Has anyone ever sang to you? Yes.

Is there anyone who doesn’t like you because of something you didn’t do? Yessss.

Have you held hands with somebody in the past three days? Yes.

How was your weekend? Kind of boring s far except for Nascar.

Was your last kiss drunk or sober? Sober.

Do you think that you’re a good person? Sometimes.

Do you know anyone with the same birthday as you? No.

How do you feel right now? Bored.

If you could seek revenge on someone would you? No.

Does any part of your body hurt right now? No.

Do you like your best friend’s boyfriend/​girlfriend? Yes.

Have you ever done something you told yourself you wouldn’t do? Yes.

Do you believe once a cheater always a cheater? Yes.

Ever been called heartless? Yes.

Can a boy and girl be friends without having feelings for each other? Yes.

Interested in anyone at the moment? Yes.

Are you able to get people to believe you when you are lying? Yes.

Do you drink hard liquor? Yes.

Have you met anyone new yet today? No.

How many more minutes until you will next eat? I don’t know it’s lunch time and I’m hungry so as soon as I decide to get up and get some food.

Have you read all of the Twilight and Harry Potter books? No.

Would you rather no heat in winter or no A/C in the summer? No heat in winter.

Do you do your own laundry? Yes.

Have you ever read an entire book in one sitting? Yes.

Have you ever seen your favorite band live? No I can’t because Layne Staley’s been dead since like 2002.

Do you drink water or soda more often? Water.

Have you ever chugged a beer? Ew no I don’t like beer.

Do you straighten your hair? Sometimes.

If you found out your friend was smoking weed, would you be disappointed? No.

Do you like the ocean? Yes.

Is there anything you’re currently holding back? No.

Do you read and believe your horoscope? Sometimes like yesterday’s was eerily accurate.

Have you stuck your hand up a vending machine to try and get something out? Yes. XD

Do you like to drink Jell-o as you’re making it? I don’t like jello in general why would I make it? XD

What do/did you normally get detentions for? Skipping class.

Does your alarm clock actually awaken you? Nope.

Do you know anyone who DOESN’T have a cell phone? Yes.

What time is it where you live? 11:55am.

Do you type fast? Yes.

Do you know anyone who has their eyebrow pierced? Yes.

When did you last talk to your brother or sister? This morning I texted him.

[nordnorthnorte]

Dairy & egg free week 1

I got diagnosed with food allergies literally a week ago, so that’s fun...

This will be more of a “personal diary” sort of post, so if you’re interested, keep reading!

I’m allergic to what now?? My first reaction to the news that I was allergic to cow’s milk, eggs and peauts were “you’ve mixed up my results. There’s no fucking way”. But three days later, and with lots of thinking, it totally makes sense. So, I’ve embarked on a dairy & egg free diet. Sadness, because I love dairy and eggs, and they’ve practically been part of all my meals, all day, for years. 

A short recap of these first few days - for my own memory and perhaps your curiosity.

Day 1 - I got the news. First reaction: No way. Next step: Research the basics, and stock up on dairy and egg free foods! Realisation: It’s fucking everywhere.

We ate spagetti and meatballs for dinner to celebrate that I’m in fact not allergic to wheat or gluten. However, my BF cooked put butter on everything (YUUM!) - so I’m not exactly on the road to recovery just yet.

Day 2 - What the hell am I supposed to eat now? Feeling a little iffy as usual, I started my first real day of no dairy, eggs or peanuts. First real day went okay, and as the day progressed I didn’t actually feel sick after a meal. WIN!

Day 3 - I tried a vegan meal for the first time So day 2 was a success, and I was motivated to keep going. 

We went to a comedy show, and after we went out to a burger place to eat and have a beer. Nothing on the menu was dairy, egg or nut free - except the vegan grilled cheese... I love meat, so going for a vegan dish was unheard of. But I was hungry, and it was allergen free so what the hell! 

It was really good. It wasn’t meat, but it was good. But the best part? I ate out, and I wasn’t in pain after. Like, is this how normal people feel after eating? This sensation, or rather lack thereof, was completely new to me. I don’t remember having a meal where I didn’t feel some sort of discomfort after.

Day 4 - I am the pinnacle of health At least according to my colleagues. Altough I feel weird eating my tuna, sweetcorn and hummus salad with a side of roasted root vegetables and milk-free bread, I feel good on the inside. 

I cannot tell you how many people in the last four days that have recommended recipes with cottage cheese, creme fraiche, or activia to me - well meaning of course - but then I need to have the awkward, and rather long explanation, of the difference between milk protein and lactose. This is getting old, fast...

Day 5 - Birthday time, but no cake for me...

I went to my best friends birthday, but could have no cake or any of the yummy treats she had made - bummer! I had an inhumanly large quantity of popcorn though, and even more champagne... Apart from being excluded from the food part of the birthday (no one’s fault but my stupid tummy) I had an amazing time!

Day 6 - Spa-time

Needless to say, I needed some R&R after last nights shenanigans! 

I went to a spa with a close friend of mine, where we enjoyed the outdoor jacuzzi, various saunas and steam rooms. Much, much needed!

I made cheese free pizza (calzone), and I really only missed the idea of cheese. I mean, who doesn’t love a cheesy pizza?? This is my life now...

Day 7 - Doctor’s appointment

There was a mix-up with my results initially, but as soon as I got the cryptic message from my doctor saying “the results indicate that you might be allergic to some foods” (like, what does that even mean??) I’d made a new appointment. Armed and ready for demaning further tests, I got my actual results the next day and that puts us back to day 1.

This is the plan: No dairy or eggs for a month (already 1 week in, yaay!). Start introducing eggs slowly back into my diet to find my tolerance. Do that for a month (sigh, just as summer is approaching = no ice cream...). Then literally have a large glass of milk to see how I feel and take it from there. 

Patience, baby steps... 

[rueur]

Morning Pages #15 (21.01.2017)

Saturday 21st Jan - 8:01 a.m.

I know I haven’t written for the last two days, and I do regret it a little bit, but I’ve been egregiously ill so I’ve also forgiven myself for it. I’ve been coughing up phlegm every day since Wednesday. The timeline of events are as follows: Wednesday, I schedule my doctor’s appointment (Bernice at 5:40 p.m.). I tell her everything about what happened to me over the weekend, and she gives me the number for Victoria Police’s assault line, and the number for the Mill Park Police Station. She writes me a note for a full STI scan - blood test and urine test - which I have to come in to get done tomorrow. Malith drove me to the blood test and urine test on Thursday morning, because I tried getting my sister to do it but she’s apparently got tonsilitis right now and is as sick as, if not sicker than, me. She also yelled at me a lot for getting assaulted in the first place, like it was my fault when really the entire thing was an absolute fluke.

I took a big break from writing to talk to Ikaros. Ikaros and I kind of ended things again on Wednesday, after I returned home from my appointment. He had gone to Lentils for the afternoon and was going home the same time I was. He got on the wrong train at Victoria Park and ended up at Northcote, so he just waited for me. I was really not in the mood to talk to him because at that point, I was still convinced I had an STI and I could never kiss him again. I was quite depressed, I thought my life was over. I told him I wanted some time to myself and he was very understanding. He’s always very understanding. He’s easy to talk to, he’s just not always easy to be around. So taking a couple of weeks just talking to him over Facebook sounds like ideal circumstances for me right now. I want simple. My life has been so confusingly complicated over these past few weeks, I just want simple for a little while in any way that I can attain that.

After the blood and urine test on Thursday morning, Malith drove me home to Mill Park where I was reunited with my parents, who had flown home Wednesday night. Immediately, my mum was so excited to show me a bunch of dresses that she’d bought for me. And let me tell you that I was excited to see them! They were GORGEOUS. There was a flowy black one with a floral pattern AND POCKETS; a grey-white striped cotton T-shirt dress; and a blue floral dress that feels a little like a bathing suit. I’d say my favourite was the flowy black one although it is a little too big on me, being a size 10. The T-shirt dress has weird arms but is otherwise fine (or I guess I have weird arms), and the blue one is just cute but it also seems a little like something a dressy grandma would wear. Anyway, I’m still not totally sure what to wear on my date with Evan which is happening tonight, and which my mum now knows about with thanks to my very loud and not at all discrete sister. I’m just intensely nervous right now. I don’t know when I should start getting ready or what else I should do today to take my mind off of this. I don’t know when I should have a shower, I don’t know what to wear! I was almost going to cancel because I’ve been sick for the past few days, but I woke up feeling a lot better this morning, and I don’t want to cancel I mean I am just so excited. I can’t actually believe how excited I am to see this boy again.

Dan came over last night. And Sam came over on Thursday night. Sam and I went back to her place in Diamond Creek, but she’s actually housesitting at the moment as well, in Fairfield in an apartment on Station Street. Right near the gas station, like neighbour to the gas station. Like they share a fence. I think I’d be able to bike there but I don’t know if I’ll have the time. I’m only going to be here in Northcote for seven more days, I have to remember that. It’s weird though, the idea of leaving here has been pushed back because Emily asked me to stay a couple of extra days. So this time last week I was mentally getting ready to move out, and now I’m finding myself mentally getting ready again, so it feels like I’ve done absolutely nothing for the past week when in reality, I really haven’t been mentally preparing for that long. Anyway, when Sam came over I was still feeling really ill but I didn’t want to cancel on her because I miss her just too much. I miss them all too much: Toni, Sam, Jeri, all of my friends who it’s not easy organising things with. Dan and Malith I just naturally tend to see often, because it’s easier for us to make time for each other. Sam, I probably speak to a lot more than Toni now, yet it’s still easier for me to talk to Toni. It’s odd. Jeri, I only need to see a couple of times a year because whenever we meet up all we do is talk about high school. I feel like there’s an expiration date on our friendship for that reason: there will come a time in the future where we’ll run out of things to talk about. I don’t want that to happen, but I just know that it will. Or at least there’s a high risk of it happening if we don’t stop talking about people we haven’t really had much contact with in upwards of three years.

Sam and I went back to her place in Diamond Creek under the pretext of making nachos and then proceeding to eat nachos in her spa. I still haven’t gotten my period, I’m assuming because of my stress-induced cold that I thought for sure was syphilis or glandular fever for most of this week, so I was all set to go for a warm dip in the spa. We didn’t though. We just made the dopest nachos and ate those at her dining room table whilst also playing a two-deck round of Go Fish which I won. We also played two rounds of Jenga at Emily’s place, and I won both of those too. I remember the last board game I played with Sam was Scrabble and I won that too. I should gamble with her some time. Anyway, she said comfort food would be good for me during my sickness and boxed up the rest of the nachos (with my homemade guac, which she said was really delicious and that compliment alone made my night) for me to take home so I can ‘get well soon’. What a babe.

Meeting up with Dan was a lot different, as it usually is. Both Dan and I are extreme budgeting at the moment, so he was content to come around here and just sit and talk with me. We were supposed to go to Laundry again tonight, but I was feeling ill still and his ankle is still a little weird from when he partied too hard on New Year’s. Anyway, he came over around 7:30 and stayed until midnight and we just talked the entire time. The time flew, honestly. I made both of us a grilled cheese and let him help himself to my pappadums and we drank the second bottle of wine that I had bought on the 31st for New Year’s. It was a good night. We drank the entire bottle, but I think he might’ve had more than me. I was so tipsy by 11:30, but apparently he felt nothing. He’s tall and German though, so neither of us were surprised. I’m short, brown and a total lightweight. I spoke to Dan about Evan and about my being assaulted and my stress-induced cold that I thought for sure was syphilis or something, and my STI tests, and my parents coming home and everything else that’s happened in a week and beyond (Ikaros), and he spoke to me about the same stuff, the way we always catch up except this time within four walls with minimal walking and also with wine. It was a nice change of pace for Dan and I. I showed him the dresses too and he gave me his opinions on them. He told me he totally agreed with how I saw the T-shirt dress with my denim jacket. He also agreed that I should wear the black one tonight when I see Evan. Honestly, I know I should wear that one too. I’m just scared, I don’t know. I’m not usually a bold dresser. In fact, the first time in a long time that I dressed boldly was when I wore my mesh hoodie to Laundry with no other larger jacket over it. But ‘I am a pioneer for oppressed Asian-Australian women’ and I should just do it, just be myself. This flowy black dress is most definitely the dress version of me. It’s a little big though, it’s like wearing a burlap sack over my boobs. But it’s so flowy! And Evan’s already seen my boobs, I mean what I wore to Laundry was quite slutty. I told Dan that, and showed Dan the mesh hoodie too because he was curious about what it looked like. He laughed immediately upon seeing it. We laughed a lot last night actually. It was a fun night. I told him that I was on the stage with a whole bunch of other girls last Friday night, and he was like ‘I didn’t even know you could dance on the stage’, and then I reminded him of how there are always girls on the stage who are dancing it up for everybody, and he immediately prayed, pretended to be ‘blessed’ and then IMMEDIATELY after this, prepared himself for when I hit him. But to his surprise, I was totally ‘blessed’ myself, because those girls were crazy gorgeous and goddamn I still can’t believe that I was ONE of them last Friday. I was a crazy gorgeous stage-dancing girl in a nightclub. I just never thought I would do that, or be that. But I was and it was legitimately because of Evan. I mean it’s also because I’ve been working the last two years on bettering myself and finally find myself feeling good about my body and have no adopted a very liberatingly positive attitude towards life, grabbing every new opportunity that comes my way, but also because a very lovely boy lead me by the hand and danced with me all night. I’m probably romanticising whatever has happened between Evan and I to no end, like tonight probably won’t be as big a deal to him as it is to me, I think. I don’t know. I shouldn’t underestimate myself or devalue myself, I know. And he did seem to like me, he danced with me all night! I’m just so so nervous. I shouldn’t be, I know. I have henna on my arm right now, my sister did it on Thursday. I haven’t worked out since I got sick and I feel like my arms are big. I told Dan yesterday, I feel like everything is in proportion right now except my beefy arms. He said my arms look fine. I hope they do, I don’t know. This is me, okay. I am a textbook trainwreck, an overthinking mess, a hopelessly hopeful romantic who can’t stop thinking about this really fun dude. Fuck.