#except most of the story is sun thinking the moon he's seeing is a replacement and not the real one

[tagidearte]

WIP! Self indulgent little thing to finish off the year! I'm excited to draw the background (you can see the beginnings of it already). Missed drawing them.

I understand the pose looks suggestive but. They're robots. They're smooth as dolls. Sun is also wearing pants, which you can't see here but. He is.

[kuroo-hitsuji]

Heey! Hope you are doing well ❤️

I really want to see your headcanons for Lucifer and freckles

I always imagined him with some? Idk

Heyas, I'm doing alright :)

And I've admittedly been so torn about whether to give him freckles or not asgdgdh but thinking harder about it I'm going to go with "Yes But-"

With how i picture things like freckles working for angels and demons, they tend to fade quickly if they don't see direct sunlight often (boosted healing factor and all that, cells get replaced more often etc), so Lucifer's (and by extent really any of the demons') don't show up so much in the Devildom (except for maybe a few persistent ones if you're actively looking for them), but the other realms (celestial especially) are a different story.

Lucifer (much like my hc for Asmo but not to the same extent) is aware he's prone to them and tends to try to avoid getting them for the most part, feeling as though they might make people take him a bit less seriously. It's not a big issue, admittedly, he's aware his extensive reputation would entirely prevent that thought for most people that already find him intimidating (so. Most People), but he's also had attention called to them often enough (by people close enough to him to Not be too intimidated to mention that they're cute, namely Michael and probably Asmo, back in the celestial realm when the freckles would show up the most prominently) that its something he actively thinks about for a good long time.

He's a bit more lenient when he comes to the human realm for MC, both from having mellowed out a bit and from simply being a bit out of practice with it. He realizes he doesn't particularly mind them at that point, the light dusting of them over his nose and cheeks not very noticeable behind his glasses to begin with, and the sun/moon cycle in the human realm (rather than constant sun) keeps them relatively faint (but definitely noticeable if you're looking at him a lot).

I also think he's more prone to them on his shoulders/body than his face and it's a factor in why he originally started wearing more full-coverage clothing (before realizing he's generally just more comfortable that way anyways).

[pixelchills]

If you do make an au where Solar and Sunrise are siblings, would Sunrise be made the way he is now, or more like Solar?

If he was made the way he is now then their personalities would probably work very well together, both from a social point of view and a work point of view. Solar is analytical and seems to have at least a decent idea of the big picture, given his early understanding of how their world works. Sun is sympathetic and sensitive to changes in both temperature and other people. Between Solar and Sun, they've got logical and emotional intelligence pretty well covered.

As for their social relationship it'd be kind of odd to see Sun's dependence split between a romantic partner and a sibling. I could see both having a similar protective impulse toward Sun, with Moon behaving as he already does and Solar seeking to protect a more naive younger sibling from people he already knows don't have their best interests in mind. I suppose if the outbreak still happens, also a relationship where Solar isn't sure of their situation either, but knows he can provide emotional stability simply because he knows Sun thinks highly of nearly everyone in his life.

In short I think Solar and Sun as siblings could be rather sweet, and definitely interesting

Yeah, this sort of "AU of my AU" is actually like... constantly in the back of my mind, and I might make some content for it too, because I like the domestic slice-of-life style idea with a little bit of drama and fluff sprinkled in hahaha

You're 100% correct of how their relationship (or siblingship) would work out. Sunrise would be quite heavily codependant on Solar especially given his anxiety and nature to be quite innocent in general, and Solar would most likely be a bit... overprotective almost similarily to Moondrop, but in more like, brotherly way, as you suggested.

I'll give a little list of some ideas (and possible differences) I've had for this Alternative Timeline :>

- Solar is not suspected to kill Lilian, but he becomes a bit unstable after her death. Instead of deciding to replace him , Fazbear corp orders another Daycare Attendant to their main location to help him (since the Daycare was originally a success. Yes, when Solar was working, he was very succesful. They even added another one in El Chip's location a bit later...)

- Sunrise is designed purposefully the way he is in the original story. The higher-ups were aware of Solar and Lilian's relationship and Solar's stubborn nature. So they attempt to make Sunrise his opposite, (probably also counting on to the fact Solar will feel bad for making Sun anxious for both of their case, since Solar seems to feel more empathy towards other mutants than humans.)

- Sun and Moon meet at the labs and things go like the did originally (except meeting Solar in the labs of course.) Sun is probably more anxious about the fact Moon is going to be "replaced" when he gets shipped to the location. Sun thinks no one can replace Moon as his play-buddy and best friend. Later he'd understand that Solar isn't gonna "replace" Moon, but become his own person in Sun's tiny world :>

- At first sun is very intimitated by Solar, who is probably a bit stinky and weird and depressed at this point anyway. I think solar asks Sunrise things like which lab he was created and who was his doctor etc, resulting to the fact that Dr Weston was their doctor, thus Solar starts calling Sunrise his little brother. Sun is like, reaaally weirded out by it at first, but warms up to ot eventually 😅

- They'd still be locked in the Daycare, maybe because Solar would just... wander off and it was just easier to keep the same rule for both Daycare Attendants. I'm not completely sure how their relationships with he others would go at this point, but I'll think about it.

- When the locations merge and Moon joins the gang, Solar is soooo suspicious of him. I think he is gonna cause a lot of bumps by trying to keep the sweet innocent Sunrise out of Moondrop's reach. Add the extra confusing romantic feelings Sun wants to let out, and the whole misunderstanding with Vanessa and we got a season full of just... drama 🤣

- Sun probably talked about his feelings for Moon with Solar at some point and that might be the reason why Solar would be so... overprotective. Maybe he doesn't wanna let Sun go through a similar heartbreak as he did.

- No apocalypse happen, let them just stay domestic and happy (eventually) 🤭

[blzzrdstryr]

Midnight chatter

Yandere Diluc x gn!knight!reader

Wordcount: 2385

CW: Yandere, drugging, kidnapping

This was a third week after his return and fifth day of the tireless fight with winery work, when Diluc received an unexpected guest. During his travels across the world, the winery business fell into disrepair and almost collapsed, so once he learnt the state of the wine industry he decided to settle in his office and try to battle the endless reports about necessary expenses and small profits all on his own.

He started to work with the first rays of sunlight well into the night, squeezing every bit of energy his body had, not only because financial issues could affect him personally, but also because of the night vigilante of Mondstadt title he took upon himself.Due to the increased workload he couldn’t find time to patrol the dark streets and alleys of the city, while experience and conscience didn’t allow him to thrust the safety of ordinary citizens into the hands of bumbling, cowardly and lazy knights.

The day soon turned into the late evening, and dawn winery workers started to go home, when someone knocked on his door. It was Adelinde.

Her steps were faster than usual, her stoic face shadowed by the note of concern. Diluc wanted to say that no, he won’t go and have a rest, but she spoke first.

“Master Diluc”, she stopped before his desk: “we have a guest, a knight”.

He lifted his head shifting the eyes from the report to the head maid and pondered - despite his long absence, a lot of people in the city had a general idea how much he dislikes the Favonius Order and so a rare knight would actually dare to bother him, unless… Unless, they were acting out an order from someone high-ranking, like Jean or Varka for example.

Apprehension that his former colleague somehow learned of his nightly escapades sent an unexpected wave of shivers and vague feeling of unease, but he didn’t let it get to him.

“Ask why this knight is here and if it’s something unofficial tell them to leave”, he ordered, at which Adelinde blinked, slowly and tiredly, as if she was looking for the strength to tell something incredibly upsetting or scary.

“The thing is, master Diluc, that I already let them in”.

“Without my permission?”, his eyes widened at that, and the heart started to pick up the pace. What if this knight was really sent here by Varka or Jean? If it was true, Adelinde, unknowingly set him up to fail.

She was looking after him from his earliest childhood, so she was allowed to do and say more than any other of his staff, yet this perceived audacity was unheard of before.

“They were badly injured and said that they needed to stop for the night and once it’s over they will travel to the city with the first sun rays. We helped them to patch up their injuries and offered a room for guests, yet they declined and remained to sit on sofa”, the maid explained absolutely unfazed, after noticing Diluc’s dissatisfaction and then added : “If you are that displeased, master Diluc, I can tell this tired and battered knight to get out from here into the dark night”.

Her voice remained even and emotionless as usual, but even like that young Ragnvindr could hear a light mocking in her words. And to think about it - he got so freaked out over some silly coincidence - the knight stopped here because of the injuries, not some insidious scheme.

“Alright”, Diluc admitted defeat: “they can stay… and offer them some food and tea”, he added just as Adelinde’s hand touched the doorknob.

“Will be done”, she replied before exiting the office. The corners of her mouth slightly moved and crept upwards.

***

Despite his earlier goal of finishing as much work as he can, Diluc couldn’t do anything. Small digits and letters started to float and dance before his eyes while the long lines fused together, when he tried to analyze the state of wine business in naught. But the worst thing was the fact that his thoughts strayed to the topic of mystery knight again and again and Diluc lost count how many times he caught himself thinking who this person is.

He sat like that for a while, until the cinnabar of dying sky got replaced by the darkness and pleasant chill of the night.

Diluc scolded himself for his uncharacteristic indecisiveness, standing up from the desk and locking the office, when this thought, loud and persisting, knocked into his head again. Wouldn’t it be nice, he wondered, to learn who this night is, and finally decided. After all the thoughts about them pestered him for a long time.

Quietly and carefully walking through the unlit corridor of the winery, he confirmed that all servants and workers had already left for sleep, some into the rooms of the main building designated for them, some into the cabins around it. All in all, he was confident that there’s no one except him, the knight, Adelinde and a couple of other maids.

His steps were quiet and slow and not even a single board in the wooden floor creaked under his weight as he knew the winery like the back of his hand. With a bated breath he made his way downstairs, making out vague shapes of the familiar objects. Moonlight pouring out through the windows illuminated only the silhouettes, but even with that he quickly noticed the unknown frame.

The person was half-sitting half-lying on the sofa, and their sword and armor were placed nearby the furniture, reflecting the pale light of the moon. They weren’t moving, seemingly asleep. Diluc couldn’t make out their face even after making a coming closer, so he decided to take the risk and summoned a small wisp of flame.

The dancing light illuminated everything in a small radius and what he saw made him jolt and take a step back. You were the mystery knight.

Why are you still a knight? Where were you? Who injured you?

Still shocked by the previous revelation, Diluc accidentally knocked over the breastplate with his foot and it fell on it’s side with a loud thump.

You woke up.

“What… Who?”, you stirred and half sat on the elbow: “Ah, it’s you” and saw him :”What are you doing here?”.

Caught red handed, Diluc didn’t find any words - it was so sudden and unusual to be caught unaware, and because of that doubly unpleasant.

“This is my winery and I am free to do whatever I want”, he decided to hide the awkwardness behind the faux annoyance.

“Easy, easy” you half smiled, half yawned: “I just managed to fall asleep”. You yawned again and blinked at him with sleepy tired eyes.

“I have sleep medicine if you want some”

You got surprised and touched by his sudden responsiveness: “Thank you, but I think painkillers would be better. My body is aching and that’s the main problem”.

Maybe because of the trembling, dancing light or maybe because of the recent sleep you imagined worry and pity twisting his facial features.

“I have it too. Wait here”, he quickly replied and vanished into the dim darkness of the winery, not giving you any time to answer, as you were left to sit and wait for him. Diluc, to your own surprise, happened to be extremely stealthy, able to move without producing a single sound.

“Here”, you first heard and then saw him,as Diluc used pyro vision to light the nearby candlestick and then opened the medicine vial he brought and handed it to you: “Drink it all”.

“Thank you”, you whispered to him, taking the painkiller before making a big gulp. The taste was horrible, so horrible in fact that you almost immediately started to violently cough. Well, if it’s as effective as foul, then I will be good as new in no time, you thought to yourself, suppressing the urge to throw up.

Diluc stood nearby and observed your reaction, his hand extended on his own when the coughing started as he awkwardly tried to pat your back in the gesture of comfort. “I will be here with you until you fall asleep”, he stated once the fit stopped and then, seeing your highly raised brows explained further: “Painkiller takes time to work. Tell me if you won’t feel better”.

You nodded in response, and closed eyes, listening to the sensations of your body. Your injuries still burned and screamed and throbbed, yet a strange numb sensation started to slowly surround you. Just like Diluc said, medicine would need time to fully settle in.

“If you're here can you talk with me?”, you decided to shorten the time in conversation: “Ijust wanted to talk with you. For a really long time”.

“About what?”, he allowed himself a shadow of the smile, Diluc that you used to know peeking through the gloomy facade, like a long awaited sun or it’s reflection on the tranquil mirror of the water surface. Next words stuck in your throat, bitter and acidic and totally unfit, and you had to force them out through your own hesitance to destroy this calm.

“What happened that day? The day before you left. I asked Jean and Kaeya and other knights who were present with you, yet no one said anything”, the water surface bubbled and the visage of that old, sunny Ragnvindr shattered into thousand pieces. The person before you adopted the same cold facade of annoyance and indifference.

“Why do you need to know it?”, he answered the question with another question and you sensed barely buried hurt and grief.

“You leaving hurt. A lot”

“That’s why you are still a knight?”, you quickly nodded at that.

A minute passed by and he still stood, without saying a single word, thinking what to do. On one hand, he didn;t want to open up, the story of his eighteenth birthday was incredibly painful and personal experience to be shared so freely, on the other hand he yearned for your understanding.

"Alright", he broke the silence:"Let's make a deal, you answer my questions and I'll tell you the whole story after. Deal?"

"Deal".

Diluc looked at you again, looked at the bruises and cuts, still peeking through the bandages and for a second his mind lit up with one thought alone: what disgusting bastard did that to you. He suppressed the rapidly rising rage, deciding to start from the most important.

"Is my leave the only reason why you decided to stay?" his heart picks up the pace again, he needs to know the answer.

"Basically yes, you knownI didn’t do it for my parents… I just.. That tragedy, I know it's not my place, but… I always wanted what happened to you. I asked this question to myself everyday and night, and I missed you terribly".

His breath hitched and he lowered his gaze. For some reason you always managed to fluster him with the words alone, even if it wasn't your intention.

"Your parents must be happy", h e changed the topic, stifling the heat in his heart.

"Yeah, they're ecstatic that I stopped being difficult and made their aspirations real. Hm, do you have any other questions?"

"What happened to you? ",he pointed at the bandages covering most of your body.

"Ah, catching treasure hoarders does that to you, usual stuff", you dismissed his concerns and Diluc started seeing red from the way your voice remained so calm and unbothered. Usual stuff? Usual stuff?!

"Grandmaster could send anyone else", he snapped:"Favonius Order has more than plenty of vision holders, they should've sent one, instead of you! You could die!".

Diluc’s sudden explosion left you speechless, but soon your own weaved words of irritation:"Ordo Favonius doesn't consist of Jean and Kaeya only. We can't let them handle all the hard and dangerous business all the time. Ordinary people like me can still help, even if the gods didn’t favour us. Don't think of me as some helpless idiot just because I have no shiny vision to show off"

Your heated response seemed to work and Diluc turned red from embarrassment, realizing how annoyed you got, despite the worry for your health and still present anger at the other knights for letting you get hurt. He also didn’t like how you looked at him, reprimanding and disappointed.

"Alright, sorry", he cleared his throat:"where were you before? I haven't seen you anywhere"

"City gates aren't the only thing that needs guarding. I was sent to the Liyue border, to make sure that no treasure gang crosses it. I think I will get sent there again, once I fully recover".

Diluc got angry at that too, yet this time he suppressed unpleasant feelings, already knowing how you will rebuke and reprimand him again. There's no convincing to be done, as you won't change your opinion. You left him no choice for what he was going to do.

"Alright, you answered all my questions", he said before changing topic again:"Did painkillers start working? I have another".

Being so engrossed in the conversation you forgot about the ache, yet once he mentioned it your body started to hurt with a renewed strength.

"Yes, I would like one", you decided and Diluc vanished in the unlit hall yet again.

"Here", he handed the small bottle to you already opened. The new substance was different, sweet and viscous. You managed to take two sips before your eyelids started to feel up with lead, and soon even lifting a hand seemed like a highly arduous task. Whatever the thing that Diluc gave you wasn't a painkiller.

"What…", you uttered, before your body relaxed and you fell asleep once again. Diluc bent over, looming over your unconscious form, as his hands carefully took the bottle away. He didn’t want it to somehow fall and injure you

This is a necessary measure, Diluc assured himself, before making a plan of actions. He would need to fake your disappearance and forge enough leads to direct investigation into the completely opposite direction, but now he needed to wake Adelinde up and ask her to prepare the room in the basement. He didn't want you to be uncomfortable in your new home.

[thrillridesz]

heart racing ▫ j.yn

in part of the adrenaline rush! collab hosted by @lucas-wongs​ + @ickjun​

⇢ pairing: jaehyun x reader (f) (ft. other nct members + twice’s jeongyeon)

⇢ genre: fluff, angst, racer!au, best friends to lovers

⇢ warnings: swearing, mentions of cheating, mentions and consumption of alcohol, alcoholism, hitting rock bottom

⇢ synopsis: once a revered member of the racing industry, jaehyun has been living at rock bottom for the past few months following a tragic accident that effectively put him out of racing. it seems as though nothing would get through to him, not even you. will he ever break out of the constant loop of doubt and start seeing things for what they really are?

⇢ word count: 8.04k

⇢ fic playlist: get you to the moon - KinaBeats ft. Snøw | Amnesia - 5SOS | You Belong With Me - Taylor Swift | Confetti Falling - Big Time Rush | Go Season - Devin Bronson (highly recommended for the racing scene) | Love Story - Taylor Swift 

⇢ a/n : unedited! also posted on this account because I’m considering merging my nct account with my tbz writing blog also PLEASE check out the other writers’ works ^^ we’ve all worked hard on our fics

“Jaehyun, you’re ruining yourself.”

The dim room reeked of stale alcohol and something mouldy as the empty beer bottles that littered the floor clanged noisily against the surrounding furniture, leaking golden yellow liquid all over. Old, worn clothes were draped everywhere, stained and darkened with murky stains while the battered television flickered weakly to live, showing nothing but static. The walls were streaked and striated with scratches, as if someone had just been clawing desperately at them and on the floor amidst the empty glass bottles, were pieces of scrap poster paper. Sunlight peeks in through the drawn blinds, giving a teasing glimpse to the bustling outside world from the sad, decrepit apartment Jaehyun lived in.

Sprawled on the couch with nothing on except a wrinkled pair of jeans, Jaehyun’s eyes were devoid of emotion - blank and dazelike. In his hand, his fingers held on limply to the neck of yet another bottle of beer, possibly his nth for the day. His usually shiny hazel brown hair was greasy with filth and his bare chest was sticky with sweat from being cooped up all day in this tiny, stuffy apartment of his. His jawline was starting to grow a hint of stubble given how much he’d completely let himself go and dark circles were appearing underneath those intense eyes of his.

Slowly, Jaehyun lifted his gaze from the floor to look at you, the first flicker of emotions that he’d ever displayed in the whole day. You stood before him, arms akimbo, your gaze sharp and piercing. He smiled, a smile that held no mirth or happiness.

“Oh, you’re still here.”

You shook your head, ripping the bottle of beer from his grasp. As you approached, the bottles, clothes and torn pieces of paper on the ground almost made you trip and you tutted under your breath.

“Of course I am. I’m your best friend who is somehow still here with you. Best friends help each other.”

He chuckled nonchalantly, waving his hand at the door. “Well, feel free to leave then. I don’t need your help.” His eyes held a hint of anger as he did, something that did not escape your notice.

“Jaehyun,” you said softly, placing the bottle on a nearby table as you dread what was to come next. “Please, not this again.”

Your words only served to fuel the fiery spark of anger in his eyes as he said in a barely controlled tone, the irritation radiating from him in ripples that threatened to evolve into waves, “Why not? I’m a fucking wreck and a loser anyways. Leave like everyone else did. Leave like…” His voice wobbled, “leave like Jeongyeon did.”

Your heart fell and it took almost a godlike willpower not to let your emotions show. Was he still thinking about her?

“Jaehyun-”

“What? Are you gonna say I’m not a loser like you always do? Cut the fucking lies. Everyone out there is saying the same thing, what makes you think you can convince me that you’re not thinking it either? Hm?” He spat, the drowsiness in his demeanour dissipating fast as red hot anger replaced it. There was so much internal frustration within Jaehyun that just seeing him like this was enough to break your heart. It was one thing to see him in this terrible state but it was quite another to see him directing his anger towards you.

You drew in a deep breath, trying to calm your pounding heart and to stop the tears that pricked at the corner of your eyes. Having been there with him every step of the year ever since the both of you were children playing and horsing around the neighbourhood, you found yourself desperately missing those much simpler times and wondering how things became so wrong.

For as long as you could remember, Jaehyun had always been interested and had a natural flair for racing. There always existed a competitive streak in him that thrived off a challenge. It didn’t matter what it was, as long as it was a game that could have a clear winner or incited competitiveness, he was all up for it. As kids, the two of you used to compete over everything, be it for the last popsicle in the convenience store down the street or past the gates of your school. It was as if racing was something he needed in order to live. It wasn’t until sophomore year of high school did Jaehyun decide to take his love for racing to a professional level. He began to dive deep into the motorsport industry, starting out as a mere rookie in auto racing. He never did apply to college, preferring instead to invest all his time into his newfound life career.

His rise to fame was quick, quicker than most. Within his first year, he had won a number of races, beating even some of the well known names in the sport. Every other month, he was winning trophies and exorbitant cash prizes which in return earned him the recognition of famous sponsors and racers. Bumper stickers from the various sponsors decorated the back of his ride and it was no time at all before Jaehyun began to don some of the most expensive sports gear on the tracks. With his smouldering good looks, he also appeared on the front pages of magazines and newspapers, all while attracting a loyal fanbase made up of both racing enthusiasts and adoring admirers.

To everyone else, he was the suave, handsome and effortlessly cool young racer who was practically born to race and to do it well but to you, he was your childhood friend… and your first love. In front of the flashing lights and cameras, Jaehyun knew his way around the crowd. He knew exactly when to flash one of his dazzling, dimpled smiles and how to work the crowd - it was just one of his innate charms. Yet, you knew that underneath that, that flashy, extravagant Jaehyun, was the Jaehyun you grew up with and had gradually fallen in love with.

As children, he was there for you whenever you needed him, always ready to lend a helping hand when he noticed that you were stuck in an unfavourable situation. You distinctly remember what had happened in second grade. It was a bright and warm summer’s day, the lovely scent of sweet peas floating in the air as the sun bore down on the earth. Pigeons flitted over the sidewalks, pecking at the cemented floor and the leaves of the oak trees that lined the streets rustled gently in the wind.

You fell with a loud and heavy thud on your bottom, feeling the leaves crunch noisily under your weight. Fear and trepidation coursed through your veins as you stared with eyes wide at your tormentors.

“Look at her, she looks pathetic. Do it, Johnny! Do it!”

A tall, hunkering boy flanked by his cronies stood over you, his dark, massive shadow engulfing you as you frantically scrambled backwards. Tears were beginning to stream down your face and a sharp pain shot up your spine with each move, owing to the impact of the fall. There were scratches on your hands as you dragged your palms over the rough gravel in an attempt to move away.

There was a malicious glint in Johnny’s eyes and his lips were curved into a devious smirk as he stared down at you, domineering and intimidating. The veins in his arms and hands were bulging angrily and as he clenched his fists, you felt your stomach sink. Your legs began to feel like jelly and your vision was beginning to blur from all the salty tears. You were struck with fear and the sense of helplessness you felt made you feel both ashamed and furious at yourself yet there was nothing you could do.

You held your hand up to shield yourself from the impending attack as the bully lifted up his fist.

“Hey! How about you pick on someone your own size?!”

The group of you turned to see Jaehyun, eyes blazing with anger as his chest heaved. His wind-swept hair hung over his eyes, a surefire sign that he’d run over and his cheeks were red from exertion. Even from afar, he was clearly no match to Johnny’s larger build, much less the whole lot of them.

“J-Jaehyun?” You spluttered, shocked.

“Who is this clown- Ow!” Johnny stumbled backwards as a rock pebble hit him on the head, promptly ricocheting off his forehead and bouncing onto the ground. His jaw was clenched in pain and when he removed his palm, a reddish bruise had blossomed and there was even a faint trace of blood. There was a split second of stunned silence before Johnny turned almost magenta with rage.

“GET HIM!” He roared and his cronies shook out of their daze, immediately going after Jaehyun who’d already ran a good distance before the reality of what had just happened set in. His mocking laugh rang through the afternoon amidst a cackle of profanities and threats yelled at him.

It was a laugh that remained in your memories all these years. It was a laugh that strengthened you, a laugh that spoke so much of willful courage and youthful rebellion which was everything you’d eventually come to associate with Jaehyun. That laugh was bright and so… him.

Yet now, you could see none of that playful mischief and vibrancy in those eyes. All that is left is emptiness.

“You’re not a loser, Jaehyun,” you began softly, “you never were in my eyes. You were a fighter.”

Those beautiful eyes you adored so much narrowed at you, his face twisted into a scowl.

“A fighter? Guess what, y/n?” He sneered, his voice dripping with venom. “I fought. I fought endlessly but did that work out for me? I threw in everything I could, every little thing. I worked hard and put in a hundred and one percent of my effort.”

You stared at him, your heart aching for him as a single tear began to roll down his cheek, tears of anger, indignation and pain.

“But did that work out? No, it didn’t. If anything, it left me a wreck. People out there call me a loser, a has-been and even my girlfriend has left me. It doesn’t matter how much effort I put in, how much I fought because at the end of the day, everyone is only here because of what they think I am. They saw me as a champion, an up and coming and the moment I wasn’t anymore, they all dropped me in a heartbeat. What are you waiting for, y/n? Why the hell are you even still here?”

His words echoed through the empty apartment and out loud, it sounded bleak, harsh and biting. His anguished voice tore at your heart and as each word left those lips, it felt like your heart was slowly breaking apart. Neither of you said anything for a moment, locked in a silent, unspoken fight as he held your gaze steadily. His eyes were cold and there was the look of a broken man in them.

“I am here because I love you, Jaehyun,” you said finally, your voice quivering. “I don’t care who or what you are and it pains me to see you tear yourself down like this because I know you are not the loser you believe you are. I don’t know how much of this I can take, seeing you ruin yourself.”

You can see the slight softening in his eyes and you gritted your teeth.

“I’m going to go. I don’t know when I’ll be back. I can’t see you ruin yourself and be able to do nothing about it. I’m not strong enough for that.”

With that, you left the apartment before he could see the tears in your eyes.

The miserable, empty can of beer clattered loudly against the hardwood floor, the sound echoing through the dank apartment.

Jaehyun barely lifted an eyebrow, his fingers growing slack without him even knowing. He stared up at the dark ceiling, a hooded look in those once bright eyes. The stench that hung around him was growing more intense by the day and it was reaching a point whereby he could almost smell himself but there was nothing in him that seemed to care.

Sounds of active civilisation outside drifted in through the windows and occasionally, he’d hear the honking of angry drivers on the roads or the laughter of children playing at the playground at the courtyard below. Normally, he loved waking up to these sounds or at least when he wasn’t off to the race tracks, when he was relaxing with a book in his hands. Now however, he found them irksome, irritating and he wanted nothing more but to block them out. He wanted absolutely zero reminder of the world outside.

Grunting, Jaehyun dragged himself off the couch. As he trudged heavily back to his room where his comfortable bed beckoned to him, he turned to stare at the large, imposing front door where moments ago, you’d slammed shut as you left him to his own devices.

Guilt tugged at his heart and for a split second, Jaehyun contemplated running after you. When you left, there was an indescribable sense of hollowness that engulfed him in a way that he couldn’t quite understand or explain. The apartment was filthy, dark and small but somehow with you around just a few minutes ago, it felt just a little bigger, a little warmer. As much as he hated to admit it, his heart was calling to him to reach out to you, run after you. The crumpled look on your face haunted him but he shook the thought from his mind.

It would be better if you left him. If you knew what was good for you, you would.

The anger in him was beginning to resurface at the thought of everything that had happened over the past few months. His career plummeting on a downward spiral right after his recovery, the exact opposite of what was predicted by his agent.

He was born to race, his family and his friends had always told him so. He knew it himself, he could feel it in his blood, his bones, his spirit. Ever since he was little, Jaehyun had known that his career would have something to do one way or another with racing. As a child, he loved running, competing but most of all, he loved riding in his father’s pickup truck on the way to school. He loved the way the vehicle would zoom past the streets, overtaking other vehicles and he loved the feeling of the wind against his face. He loved the speed and everything about cars or racing. It felt natural for him to pursue a career in competitive racing and a natural he was.

After getting signed with a racing company, Jaehyun quickly rose to fame with his numerous championships, bagging trophies, medals and cash prizes in almost every event he participated in. Sports magazines and reporters would clamour over each other to score an interview with him. People wanted pictures with him, wanted him to sign an autograph for them.

He was the golden boy in the racing world, an untouchable.

In the racing world, everything goes a mile a minute and nothing waits for anyone. After the morbid crash at the June Tokyo Prix, Jaehyun had sustained several fractures to his ribs and a severe concussion that left him in the hospital’s intensive care unit bedridden for several months. The pain was unlike any other and every single move hurt immensely but what suffered more damage than he did was his career and his relationships.

Within months, the racing career he had so painstakingly built up for himself collapsed before him. Due to long inactivity, brands and sponsors began to drop him, slowly at first then steadily one by one. He was also constantly under the media’s scrutiny for a period of time, their cameras and microphones thrusted in his face while he lay helpless on the hospital bed. The bright flashes blinded him and the loud noises made his head pound and even now, he still remembered how that experience was like, shuddering every time it crossed his mind. It had taken Jaehyun countless hours of physical therapy before he could even think of racing competitively again.

Yet when he did, he quickly realised he never could revert back to his old self, the one who got off on adrenaline kicks while zooming along the tracks at breakneck speed, the one who only knew what it was like to win. He was slower, less coordinated. His body could no longer take the pressure racing would subject it too, or at least not quickly enough for him to make a full, stunning comeback.

The tabloids and news had run wild with his fall from grace, writing up horrible, demeaning articles about him. His rivals had mocked him to his face and he could even sense the visible disappointment from his fans emanating from the stands whenever he’d lost yet another race. The thing that really broke the camel’s back however, was when his girlfriend Jeongyeon initiated a breakup.

Jaehyun had hoped that things would turn for the better, never one to give up. He’d trained tirelessly everyday, pushing his brittle body to the limit. He never let up on himself, gritting his teeth through all the physical and mental pressure he had imposed on himself. When the final text was sent, Jaehyun could remember distinctly how hopeless and distraught he’d felt. It felt like his world, the empire he had so painfully and relentlessly crafted for himself from scratch was breaking bit by bit. To add salt to the wound, the next time he’d seen her on television, her body was plastered against his biggest rival, Yuta. Her arms were wrapped around his and her lips pressing against his cheeks with no shame whatsoever for the interviewer interviewing him, no sign of the girl who’d once told him that she loved him with all her heart.

What was once determination and naive hopefulness soon devolved into anger and resentment. Jaehyun began to let himself go and the change was drastic. Where there once existed a time whereby he’d rise from his slumber early to visit the gym, he now regularly slept well into the late afternoon. His diet began to consist largely of takeout, junk food and alcohol and his apartment got more and more cluttered by the day. He’d stopped contacting his friends and family, ignoring their calls and texts, preferring to fester in his own solitude. It wasn’t long before an odour had started to emit from his place, a nauseating mixture of stale pizza, beer and pure filth from the lack of showers.

His appearance was also no longer polished, but rather haggard as if he’d aged five years in a matter of months. He was beginning to lose his fit stature, the healthy glow he’d once been prized on by magazines and gossip columns dimming. It got to a point whereby Jaehyun had begun to avoid looking at his hideous reflection in the mirror, his self-hatred growing with each day.

A poster of him in his racing gear and his race car was tattered and wrinkled on the floor, stained with ketchup and soda. Staring at it blankly with eyes empty of any emotions whatsoever, Jaehyun swiped it up and in a swift moment, he tore it up with a large rip before trashing it somewhere on the floor.

Flopping onto his comforter, he almost moaned in pleasure as he sunk into the soft sheets. Reaching for the air conditioning control, a loud smack on the ground roused him from his hedonistic haze. His hair was sticking up in all directions as he peered over the edge of his bed to see a picture frame that had fallen from his night stand.

Holding it in his hands, he looked at it with a nonchalant air.

It was a picture of the both of you a few years ago, back when he was just kick starting his racing career. He hadn’t yet made a name for himself then as the two of you leaned in for the picture.

You had on a bright, illuminating beam on your face, your eyes alive and glittering with happiness. Your hair was down, wisps of it framing your face as the sun brought out the colour and shine of it. Next to him, you’d completely dwarfed in comparison. He had his arm around you, bringing you to his side and from the picture, Jaehyun could feel a smile begin to crack on his face at the comical height difference.

He’d looked completely at ease here, carefree with the recklessness and restlessness of the soul beneath shining through his dark eyes. His hair was wavy, styled down in that ridiculous fashion he wanted so badly to leave back in high school. He had worn a dimpled smile on his face, the look of someone who knew he was destined for greatness and believed in it.

Jaehyun was about to put the picture down when something caught his eye. He leaned in closer.

There was something about you. At first glance, it would have been clear that you were smiling for the camera but upon closer look, it looked as if you might be smiling at him instead. Your smile was softer, eyes gentler from the first time he’d seen the picture. It was the sort of smile that struck him in his heart, the kind of smile that would make its recipient feel loved, appreciated.

“I want to be a racer when I grow up.”

You turned to Jaehyun, eyes wide as saucers as you popped the ice popsicle out of your mouth.

“Why?”

He shrugged, still struggling with the wrapper of the popsicle. The two of you sat on the wooden bench, side by side as the other kids ran around the park, playing rounds of tag while their parents or babysitters sat watching over them. The sun was glaring down on the earth and though it was a great day to go out to play and sweat it out, it was also a perfect day to find an excuse to buy popsicles with what little pocket money your parents had given to you two. It wasn’t an opportunity to be missed.

“I really like racing. I don’t know if there’s anything else I’d want to be,” he said simply, grinning as he finally succeeded in breaking open the plastic.

You tried to hide the blush that was beginning to creep up to your cheeks, looking away from him.

“My mom says being a doctor is good.”

As soon as you said it, you immediately regretted your words. Jaehyun scrunched up his nose in disgust.

“No way! It’s so boring. Do you want to be a doctor?”

Quickly, you shook your head fervently. “No!”

“Then what do you want to be?” He asks curiously, sucking on his popsicle.

You are quiet for a while as you ponder over his question. What exactly do you want to be when you grow up?

“...A writer.” You said finally and he swiveled around to look at you, clearly not expecting your answer.

“A writer? Hm, why?”

“I just really like reading. I want to write interesting stories that people will like,” you take a tentative lick of your popsicle, the icy, sweet taste of apple flavouring coating your tongue, “Like fairytales!”

Jaehyun broods over your answer, seemingly deep in thought. For a moment, neither of you say another word as you sit together under the warm, sunny day, enjoying your popsicles.

“I want people to like me too.” He says suddenly, his eyes shining. “People will like my racing! I’m going to be a racer and people will like me to win!”

He hops to his feet, his popsicle raised as he made his declaration. There is a triumphant, toothy smile on his face and he says it with so much hope and gusto that you can’t help but feel drawn to his driven spirit. For a boy of five foot, there was a lot of motivation and energy in him and there was just something about him that got you transfixed.

Under the sunlight, his smile seemed almost blindingly bright with the shadows highlighting the charming dimples on those round cheeks. The butterflies in your stomach were going crazy and your heart began to pound. Your words seemed stuck in your throat and you choked out, “I t-think you’ll make a good racer, J-Jaehyun.”

You thought your heart might burst as his smile grew wider, his dimples making deeper indentations. It felt like the sun might just be a little too hot since your face felt like it was positively flaming.

“Thank you, y/n.”

Suddenly, something caught your eye and shakily, you pointed at him.

His smile dropped as his eyebrows knitted together in confusion.

“What?”

“Y-your popsicle is m-m-melting… down your a-arm.”

The elevator button made an uncharacteristic squeaking sound as Jaehyun jabbed repeatedly at it, his jaw clenched in impatience.

“Hurry up, hurry up, hurry up,” he muttered frantically under his breath, pacing the lift lobby. The red letters above the elevator were moving at a snail’s pace and it seemed as if it’s stopped to pick up some passengers on the 5th floor. How long does it take for people to move into an elevator?

Jaehyun groaned in annoyance as he watched the number on the display crawl up slowly.

This wouldn’t do. By the time it’s here, it would be too late.

Immediately, he sprinted for the stairs instead, his heart hammering against his chest.

There was great fanfare as the rowdy crowd erupted into raucous cheers, the large, industrial sized party poppers going off with a bang, covering everyone in glitter streamers and confetti. Cameras were flashing and clicking away at every corner while throngs of sports reporters flooded the holding area, all trying to reach the champions for their coveted exclusive interviews. Agents and pit crews were all celebrating with the sound of champagne bottles popping and yells and cheers of congratulations ringing through the air.

Jaehyun stood at the top of the podium, shooting the cameras his trademark stunning grin as he posed with his golden trophy that looked to be about the size of his torso. The racing suit he was wearing was uncomfortably hot and he wanted nothing more than to strip from it but the adrenaline and euphoria he was experiencing far surpassed any feelings of discomfort.

This was it, the taste of success. It was everything he lived for, raced for. This was why he always trained so hard, from dawn to dusk. This was why he put his own body through all those hours of endurance training, gym and dieting. It was all for this single moment of true bliss enjoyed and savoured after the extreme thrill of racing. Here on the podium, towering above everyone else… He was truly where he needed to be, where he was born to be.

As he stepped off and the bodyguards swarmed in to escort him to his own holding room, Jaehyun couldn’t wipe the grin off his face. Yet another trophy for display on his shelf back in his apartment. He didn’t think he’d ever get sick of it, the feeling of winning but then again who would?

Reporters were attempting to accost him at all sides, all screaming out the same old questions he had grown tired of early on.

“How do you feel after winning the prix for the third year running?”

“You hit a record timing today! How did you train for the race?”

“What do you have to say to your rival, Nakamoto who came in second this year? By a mere few seconds at that!”

Jaehyun nodded and waved at a few of them, still wearing a smile on his face but there was no answer evoked from him. He’d kept up a calm and cool demeanour throughout but once he was in his holding room alone, the moment the door closed shut behind him, he let out a loud, jubilant howl.

“Fuck yes!” He roared out in happiness before collapsing onto the couch, laughing to himself as he held his trophy above him. He badly needed a shower but he couldn’t care less, not with the trophy in his hands. Under the light, the gold shone and even as a seasoned racer, the excitement and happiness from winning never grew old. In the empty room, the victory felt even more profound, the reality of claiming the championships for yet another year sinking in.

He was in the middle of celebrating and basking in his own victory, he received a text.

Jy: how’s my man doing? congratulations on the win honey ❤️

Jae: thanks babe, it feels fucking amazing. you have no idea… also i missed you so much

Jy: we should celebrate. together, alone. tonight at my place? ;) we haven’t done it in awhile, i miss your body, your kisses

Jaehyun stared at the text. He should be happy, excited to see Jeongyeon again after so long. He had been so preoccupied with training for the big race that he’d barely had any time for her. He had missed her yet now that they were finally exchanging texts again after so long apart, he didn’t seem to feel the same anticipation.

There was something about that text she sent that seemed weirdly… detached. He had imagined their first interaction in over a month to be one that warmed him up in the inside, brought him to a whole new level of euphoria even after winning but if anything, this reality paled in comparison to the scenario he had looked forward to in his mind.

Jae: yeah sure

After pressing send, he tossed his phone onto the coffee table and rested his head against the velvety cushion of the couch. Somehow, that very short exchange with Jeongyeon had dimmed his excitement and readiness to celebrate.

His phone suddenly rang, disrupting him from the reverie he’d found himself in.

“Must be Jeongyeon,” he thought to himself and for some reasons as he swiped to answer the call, he found himself reluctant to talk.

“Hello?”

“Jung Jaehyun! I was watching your race on television, congratulations for coming in first yet again! You were terrific out there.”

Y/n.

Jaehyun smiled, feeling his heart swell at your words.

“Thanks, y/n. I really appreciate it.”

“How about we meet for dinner tonight? I know of this amazing Italian place that serves the best lasagna, your favourite! My treat too to celebrate your win, how’s that?”

At the mention of lasagna, Jaehyun could feel his stomach rumbling and his mouth watering. The tangy tomato sauce, copious amounts of cheese and spiced minced beef with soft pasta… He would absolutely be down for some well-deserved lasagna after weeks of feasting on plain, watery salads. Dinner sounded like a great idea.

“Sure, I- Wait, I can’t,” he groaned, suddenly remembering his plans with Jeongyeon. Plans he didn’t even particularly look forward to.

“Why not?” You asked.

“I um…”

Fuck, why is it so hard to say it?

“I have plans with Jeongyeon tonight,” he said, ignoring the strange pang of guilt and indignation that hit him square in the chest.

“Oh! Oh, uh… That’s completely fine. Don’t worry about it, we can always have dinner some other day.”

“Really? That would be great! How does next week sound?”

“Sounds good to me!” Even on call, he could imagine you bobbing your head enthusiastically like you usually did and that brought a chuckle out of him.

“Alright, I’ll see you then y/n.”

“See you! Please rest well, you deserve it.”

“Thank you,” he replied before hanging up.

What is this warm feeling in him?

Jaehyun raced out of the apartment complex, his eyes searching his surroundings.

The sun was glaring and he couldn’t see straight without squinting his eyes. He must have been a weird sight to behold - scruffy, pale from the lack of the outdoors and reeking of the garbage piled up in his apartment. An elderly woman walking past him tutted disapprovingly at his disheveled appearance, holding her nose as she did but Jaehyun didn’t seem to notice her. His mind was on something else, something more important.

A boy from across the street was staring at him with his mouth agape, looking like a deer caught in headlights as he shakily fumbled in his pockets for his phone. Jaehyun let his sights linger on him, wondering if he should have at least thrown on a coat but as he turned, he caught sight of a figure hanging by the bus stop, looking miserable.

He swallowed thickly, feeling the slight clench of his heart and without hesitating a single second longer, he made his way over.

The heart monitor’s methodical beating was driving him near insanity. If not that, then certainly the suffocating atmosphere of the hospital and the bandages wrapped tightly around almost every single inch of his body would. Not to mention the occasional undercover paparazzi who would try to inch their way into his ward.

Jaehyun stared up at the white ceilings, still as a plank. Every part of his body hurt to move, he couldn’t even turn his head without feeling a painful pounding in it. Sometimes, he would get dizzy spells so intense he actually felt nauseous. His appetite for food or anything in general had since plummeted. Everything, but racing.

He yearned to go out there onto the tracks, to resume his training. The Roman Prix is coming up in a month’s time and he was so far from ready. He needed to get out of this place as soon as possible, even if it meant jeopardising his own safety. His career mattered more than anything.

Jeongyeon hadn’t called either since the day he got admitted. Jaehyun had soon grown tired of checking his messages or asking his publicist for news from her, the feeling of disappointment felt deep within him. He closed his eyes, suddenly feeling a wave of fatigue wash over him.

There was a gentle knock on the door and as the door creaked slightly open, you poked your head in. Upon seeing him, you smiled softly and made your way over to him. Jaehyun watched you approach, his eyes following you.

You had brought along a basket with you, seemingly full of items. As much as he wanted to know what you’d brought, he tried not to look overeager. “I made you something special today,” you said, settling down and practically vibrating with excitement.

“What?”

“Tomato minestrone soup!” You exclaimed, uncovering the lid as the tantalising aroma of tomatoes and a medley of vegetables drifted in the air. Jaehyun almost had to restrain himself from moving, lest he shift a bone out of place somewhere.

Somehow seeing you had sparked a certain kind of joy in him. Maybe it was a sign nobody had really forgotten about him yet. He had watched his number of visitors trickle down day by day and now that it was close to a month since he’d been hospitalised, after the tragic accident, he barely got any. Perhaps three or four a week if he was lucky.

You, however, you were different. You visited him almost every other day, no matter how busy you were. You visited his bedside even if you were worn out from a long day of work, even when you had things to attend to, even when no one else bothered to. You would bring along snacks whenever you did or homemade get-well food like fish porridge or chicken noodle soup you’d whipped up yourself, though they might be far from the usual gourmet fare he was used to back when he was still active when he would go for exquisite dinner parties. Usually, you stayed for a substantial amount of time and sometimes, you even stayed the night.

Jaehyun didn’t understand why you would do all of this for a friend, a friend who never seemed to have time to spare for you at that. More than anything, the feeling of guilt in him only grew stronger with each visit yet he was grateful, extremely grateful. Your presence was like a warm ray of sunshine in this dreary hospital ward. Whenever you visited, he couldn’t help but smile even though he could not find it in himself to smile. But when it came to you, it felt natural.

“Y/n!”

At the sound of Jaehyun’s voice, you turned and even from afar, he could see your reddened eyes - a surefire sign you’d been crying. Guilt and anger washed over him in waves and he tried not to think how many times he had been the cause of your tears. If only he could turn back time, he would have shook himself for ever dismissing you so lightly like he did, before he saw the situation for what it was.

He was blinded. Blinded by his obsession for winning, fame, glory and pleasing the wrong people. In a way, it felt like a fog had been lifted before him and now that he could see, think, feel clearly… He wasn’t going to let the right person out of his grasp. The person who loved him unconditionally, not just for his fame and achievements. The person who stuck with him through thick and thin but he was just too daft to notice it. The person who always felt like home whether he knew it or not.

You.

“Jaehyun? W-What are you…” You spluttered, desperately trying to wipe your tears from your face as you stared up at him.

It took a couple of seconds for him to regain his breath, his face turning red from embarrassment and exertion. He should really start leaving those beers and junk food alone.

“I…” He panted, both out of fatigue and relief, “We need to talk.”

“Jung is getting closer, any minute now Hendery!”

“I don’t believe this! Are we looking at a potential comeback for this prix? Push, push, push!”

“It seems like we might be! Here he comes! He is absolutely mad!”

The nascars zipped along the race tracks, smoke and some bits of burnt rubber and chipped metal trailing along its wake. They were a blur of colours to the spectators, who were practically glued to their seats as they watched the race reach its climax. A massive telescreen was displaying close ups and the ranking board with huge overhead lights that illuminated the stadium. The crowd was growing wilder by the second as the racecars zoomed past them, their attention fixed on one racer in particular.

The sleek nascar was streaked in royal blue and crimson red over a metallic black base, looking almost purple and black with how fast it was flying across the tracks. The wheels were spinning so fast that the friction between the tough rubber tire and the rough granite almost lit up the tracks. It was charging forward with a steely determination and ruthlessness, closing in rapidly on a green and white nascar ahead of it.

The adrenaline coursing Jaehyun’s veins was unlike any other. The thrill he got from racing could practically send him into an all time high and a cunning grin tugged at his lips as he stepped his foot down hard on the pedal, his hands gripping tightly onto his steering wheel. Rounding around a bend, he clenched his jaw as he pushed his body weight to the left, the muscles in his abdominals and biceps flexing and straining against his racing suit as the car drifted across the tracks in a perfect arc.

“Did you see that perfectly executed drift?! Insanity!”

“Jung is absolutely on fire!”

The thunderous cheers of the crowd and the loud hum of the race cars racing across the tracks faded into the background as he kept his eyes trained steadily forward. Any time now…

“Watch out, Nakamoto,” he whispered under his breath.

Steering his wheel sharply and accelerating much to the crowd’s excitement and trepidation, his race car was now driving side by side along Yuta’s. For a split second, the two turned to look at each other through the window and even though there was no way of seeing the other’s face through that helmet, something in Jaehyun told him that his rival was angered, shocked and… Fearful.

Jaehyun grinned beneath his helmet and without a second thought, he zipped forward, leaving Yuta behind in the smoke.

“He’s going for it, he’s going for it… Wait for it… And he crosses the line! The legend has reclaimed his spot on the top!”

“And that is how you execute one of the greatest comebacks of all time, ladies and gentlemen. Jung has done what we believed to be impossible and dominated the race! I wonder how Nakamoto feels about that?”

The other commentator chuckles into his microphone.

“Well Haechan, if I were him, I’d be pissed off for sure! But I’d also be worried… So very worried.”

The crowd was absolutely wild when he’d disembarked from the car and as he removed his helmet, he was greeted with camera flashes all around him. He shook his head, running a gloved hand over his hair and he took a deep breath. The air smelled of burnt rubber, smoke and… Success.

He had done it. He had made his comeback.

His pit crew made a beeline for him, slapping him on the back, their faces jubilant and lit with pure joy. His new manager, one that he trusted and helped him inch his way back to the top step by step, shot him a thumbs up which he nodded in acknowledgement as the crowd of sports journalists, reporters and photographers began to swarm in on him.

Yet, he paid them no attention. If this was three years ago, he would have basked in the glory, the attention but now he had greater concerns on his mind. His heart was pounding now for a different reason altogether and he could feel his hands growing clammy.

Jaehyun craned his neck and searched the rowdy media crowd. Where were you?

“Jaehyun!”

At your voice, he turned and immediately almost stumbled backwards as you crashed into him for a hug. The feelings of you against him sparked a joy in his heart, a joy almost greater than winning. He enveloped you in a hug, holding your waist as he nuzzled his face into your hair. Your scent of honey and jasmine was intoxicating, alluring and a welcomed change from the smell of smoke and rubble.

The two of you had been dating for about two years now, each day together better than the previous. After he’d caught up with you that day, it was as if you were seeing a different Jaehyun from the one you’d seen in his apartment. That Jaehyun who had caught up with you at the bus stop was the old Jaehyun you’d missed and it was as if a switch somewhere had been flipped. To this day, he had never admitted what changed while you were gone for those few minutes. He had subsequently apologised for everything he’d done, even things you didn’t see a problem with. It was shocking to say the least to see the unapologetic Jaehyun apologise for anything at all, but not more shocking than what entailed a few days later.

It started with a vase of luscious red roses being sent to your workplace followed by an invitation for dinner. Before you knew it, the boy you’d loved almost all your life was courting you with a passion. It felt like a complete dream, so much so you had been afraid to wake up suddenly and realise it was all just your imagination. He’d been more of a romantic than he’d let on and many times, you had found yourself completely smitten by his stunts that stretched from learning how to make homemade chocolates for you on Valentine’s Day knowing that you liked them, even though he was well known as a terrible cook to sending flowers up to your doorstep every other week.

Within a couple of months, the two of you were dating and deeply, wildly in love.

Amidst date nights filled with laughter and kisses, he had also been steadily climbing his way back up the ranks of the racing world. After ditching his unhealthy lifestyle he had been living for the past year, the change was apparent. He’d started hitting the gym, eating healthier and before long, he was in prime condition to start racing again. Training was long and tough but he never did give up. He was more determined and driven than you’d seen him and though the old Jaehyun would have been gutted at a loss, this new, better version of him never fussed over a loss of any kind, instead learning from his mistakes.

All of his efforts had led to this ultimate moment, the taste of victory on his lips.

You noticed he had been shifting uncomfortably and you looked up, puzzled and concerned.

“Jaehyun? You okay?”

He looked at you, his ears red, a sign that he was anxious, nervous.

“Jaehyun? What-”

Your words got stuck in your throat as he knelt down on one knee, the lights overhead bringing out the sparkle in his eyes and the shine in his hair. Those dark orbs were so full of hope, anxiety and love all intermingled in one and you found it difficult to believe that those eyes were looking at you directly, the emotions in them all for you.

Jaehyun withdrew a tiny, velvet box from his pocket and popped it open. In the box, was a tiny diamond ring, glittering and absolutely regal. The diamond itself was beautifully cut and interwoven into the metal band with microfibres of white gold and it simply shone as the camera flashes went off. The crowd was going bonkers, screaming and cheering with wolf whistles.

“Y/n,” he spoke softly, his voice gentle. “You have always been there for me, always been my better half. We have been friends for over a decade and lovers for merely two but it seemed as if we always were meant for each other. It took me so long to realise that and there is not a day I don’t regret not realising it sooner. You are my everything - my past, present and future. Falling in love with you was gradual, unconscious. I guess my heart knew you the one before I even did. It started with me being in a dark, dark place where I drowned in my own self-hatred and insecurities. I was beaten, defeated and I just gave up. Where everyone did the same, you never did. You were like a beam of shining light, shining upon me and guiding me even if I didn’t notice it at the time. But when I did, you glowed even more brightly than I’d envisioned. I’d been oblivious to your beauty both inside and outside for far too long and god knows how much I fucking regret it. I’m different now though, because of you. I am the best version of myself right now because I have you in my life. You taught me how to love, allow myself to be loved. There’s no universe whereby I’d want to be without you. I can’t see myself without you in my life. I need you, I love you.”

Tears were beginning to stream down your face and the stadium had grown quieter, all tuning into what was happening.

Jaehyun looked up at you, hopeful and so full of love that you thought your heart might burst.

“So I guess what I’m saying is, will you marry me, y/n?” He asked breathlessly.

[westmoor]

the fox

(the hare -»)

(1.4k, shifter jaskier, plotless and geraskier adjacent, no particular warnings except for excessive language)

The world is so much louder when it’s dark.

So it is for everyone, Jaskier tells himself, and curls up tighter in his bed, swaddling in a barrier of softness and warmth to keep it at bay.

But they press ever closer, the sounds. Rustles and mumbles and whispers seeping in between the blankets, crawling along his skin and leaving goosebumps in their wake.

Most nights he ignores them, eyes forced shut and clutching a pillow until he falls asleep, restless and dreaming. 

He doesn’t know why, or how, or when any of it started.

But he knows the scurry of mice from the rustle of wind, can pick a rabbit’s tracks through the bushes, sees the great horned owls where they perch high upon their branches, hooting loud and yearning while their large and luminous eyes sweep this way and that.

And some nights they become too much to ignore. They take hold of his mind and light a fire in his veins, and he wants nothing more than to answer them, to fill his lungs with whiffs of larkspur and thyme and test his speed against the wandering moon, until the stars grow weary and a chorus of songbirds herald the dawn.

On those nights he steals from his bed and his blankets, leaving his cloak and his shoes behind. And he rushes out into the great big nothing, past walls meant to hold him and men meant to guard him, through hedgerows and bramble on quick black paws, nose skimming the grass. 

--

He keeps it quiet, just to himself. If they notice him gone they call it sneaking about, like young boys do, and he does, only not as a boy. 

If he dared, he’d tell his mother. Tell her about the family of mockingbirds nesting in the lilacs, about the gap in the hayloft wall where the stablemaster’s mouser has hidden her kittens, or the fields of berries growing sweet beyond their garden gates. 

He tells no one.

The streets of Oxenfurt are a treasure trove of secrets, all laid out in a perfect cobblestone maze for him to hunt and uncover. 

Along with fellow students he shimmies out of windows and scales ivy-clad trestles, learns of hidden alcoves in libraries and which side streets lead to the dodgiest downtown drinkeries, breaks into the law professor’s office to steal sips of his finest liqueur, filling the bottles with water to cover up the loss. He learns the ways of love through heartbreak and finds his voice through song and verse, grinding his wit against the sharpest minds on the Continent.

But what his peers know is just a painted facade, gaudy and vivid but built for display. The city is a whole new world when seen from below. He skitters past its brocade drapes and  whole-hearted and quick-witted, no quest too daring or escape too narrow. 

Later, when cobbled streets are replaced by dirt roads and trampled paths under his feet, when he is further from home than he has ever been before with nothing to him but a lute and a name, he tucks his legs close to the soft fur of his underbelly and covers his snout with the bush of his tail and sleeps soundly. 

--

He has never met another. He’d like to, he thinks. If only for someone with whom to sit in the audience to a curlews’ ecstatic performance, composing her song to the bullfrogs’ steadfast percussion, joining in concert with moorhens’ trills among lily-pads and reeds. To know the thrill of the hare’s escape or musky divots in tall grass and glens where the mighty elk has dwelled, without false claims of metaphor and allegory.

Donning his fur coat to run the woods four-legged, now quick, now clever, he is no less himself than when he strides down paved roads, lute in hand. This is not a voice made for singing, jaws too narrow and teeth too sharp to make the shapes of words or vowels. Yet when he tilts his head at the sky and fills the night with the call of his kin, it’s completely and utterly his own.

It’s a blessing, he knows. How dreadfully boring it must be to live an entire life on just one page, and never turn it.

But everyone he meets on his path smells distinctly human, or dwarvish, or half-elf, and he starts to believe there are none like him. The truth of his nature stays lodged in his chest, curled tight somewhere under his breath. Whether it’s true fear born from bearing witness to the cruelty of men, or if it’s the fickle instincts of the wild, he doesn’t know. 

Gradually, like the miniature vessels of tree bark and leaves he’d set to sail on the duck pond as a child, he finds himself drifting downstream, unmoored and rudderless.

Until the day he finds a Witcher in Posada.

It’s the smell that snares him, but once he pinpoints its source, he can’t look away. Even then it takes a moment to figure it out, too enraptured at first by peeling back the scent of human and road dust and smoke to find the tug underneath. That of animal and hunt and prowl, that of the great grey beasts that sing with their brethren in distant ragged mountains. 

The man has the eyes of a predator, and Jaskier falls to his gaze like a fox to the hounds. 

Geralt is not like him, but he is the least unlike him that Jaskier has ever met, and that alone is enough to start pulling back the tide of silence that has pooled in his lungs. 

Beneath an iron hull of huffs and scowls and grumbles there is a grudging sort of leniency, however, and something else - something that makes Geralt flinch away like pressure to a festering wound. 

In every story Jaskier has heard, the Witcher travels alone. 

But he doesn’t urge his mare to trot too fast to follow. And when the cold draws close in the wake of the setting sun and the hollow ache in his stomach competes with that in his legs, there is warmth to be found by a smoldering fire, bread and roasted meat split between roughened hands.

Jaskier knows he is trailing after him like a puppy, knows he is pushing and pushing and pushing but he must. He needs this. And he has to make time, make sure he gets to stay long enough to find words, good ones, for how it is that he can close his eyes in one head and open them in another. Answers for questions he gave up asking long ago. 

With each burst and proposition that spills from his lips on their way through the valley, all a breath short of keep me, please keep me, confessions boil higher in his chest until they simmer just under his tongue. It takes all of his will to keep them from pouring, filling the silence with shallow chatter, desperate to stay their flow until his respite from loneliness can grant Geralt’s, too.

It doesn’t come to that.

Geralt sees his form as a cage, he learns, and himself as the beast trapped within. Where strangeness has given Jaskier an endless realm to chase and cherish, Geralt has only known suffering.

And if Geralt is monstrous, then what is Jaskier? A coward? A thief? Another fickle creature, neither animal nor man? Would he loathe him like he loathes himself? Or would he pity him, look at his duality and see a sickness?

He is many things, Geralt, beyond both wolf and man and Witcher, but he is not cruel. He would be kind, more likely than not, might even offer a hand in breaking the curse or condition that splits his soul between two bodies.

Jaskier couldn’t bear it.

The burning on his tongue quells with time. Soon, all secrets drain back down his throat unspoken. But alone is not akin to lonely, he decides, and Destiny may yet show her hand. 

Unmoored, but no longer adrift, he lets the dead weight of hope drag him under. 

And when the night grows loud in his mind, calling his name with a faint breeze through the hemlocks - when he slips from their camp and his makeshift bed to run the fields on little blackened feet, he makes it quiet, quick and clever.

--

Tag list: @llamasdumpsterfire @stinastar​ @elliestormfound​ @justjess94​ @fontegagrilledcheese​ @dani-dandelino​ @honeysuckletook​ @underwaterattribute @ahhhhhhdonna @biitumen @cinary @saphiramalbec @lilbanili @sulkyshengshou

[satan-ruler-of-hells]

The Only Exception

Am I capable of writing anything fluffy without angst? No I don’t believe I am. Anyway here’s some Ushijima love! A big thank you to Noodles and Pies whom without this story would never have left drafts. You guys have no idea how much I appreciate you.

Warnings: Mentions of cheating, this isn’t exactly fluffy so prepare yourself and I hope you enjoy!

You'd sworn to yourself at an early age that you'd never fall in love. After watching your mother and father fight for years until the birth of your sister and your father having an affair every 2 years or so, you had decided it wasn't worth it. Then you’d met her and she made you think maybe love could be something more, something beautiful. But you were vividly reminded why you kept those walls up, why you guarded your heart so closely. 

You were reminded again a few years later, after finding out that all those late nights that kept your father at “work” and all those odd jobs were actually another affair. It wasn’t the first time, not by a long shot but you were old enough now to realize not only what he had done to your mother but to you as well. While he was out “living his life” and “working late” you were left at home to raise your sister. A position you’d been forced to take that was met with resistance and hatred from the very one you’d done your best to take care of while still being a kid yourself.      

Your mother, who had been working the graveyard shift, had done her best with what she had, but at her age pulling all nighters wasn't exactly an easy feat. You didn't blame her, you couldn’t. Not when you'd seen her and held her as she cried when she felt she had failed you as a parent and the guilt when she had to take a nap just so she could function. Your heart ached for her and raged at him. You’d seen what love could do to someone first hand and decided with renowned resolution that you wanted nothing to do with it.

That’s why starting at Shiratorizawa on a cheerleading scholarship, didn’t worry you. While your team would gush and rave about all the attractive men on the boys volleyball team you couldn't care less. Nice to look at, yet dangerous to touch, like a fire, give it the chance and it would burn you alive.

That didn't stop you from making friends though, you quickly found peace with Tendou Satori, the infamous “Guess-Monster” whose most monstrous trait in your opinion was that he loved too hard. Despite what meeting the red head led to, which at the start was the worst thing that could ever happen, you'd thank him for this one day. He introduced you to his best friend and dorm mate Ushijima Wakatoshi, who before getting close to Tendou was just another member of the volleyball team. 

You enjoyed his company, where Tendou was as loud and bright as the sun, Ushijima was quiet and calm like the moon. A perfect balance of excitement and security, spontaneity and familiarity. You would grow just as close to Ushijima as you had Tendou, if not closer. Slowly you’d let them in, not fully, but not at arms length either, within the year, they became people you relied on, your chosen family. The next year only furthered those feelings, cementing them a place in your life for better or for worse.

One night as the three of you had a sleepover, which was pretty much a weekly occurrence since the middle of second year, you and Ushijima stayed up for hours. The usually quiet and stoic man opened up to you, telling you his story. How he watched his parents slowly fall out of love, the way that had altered his views on life at a young age, and how his mother had wanted to change his left handedness, but at his fathers insistence, ultimately relented and the story his father had told him that shaped him into the player, and man he was today. 

In turn you told him everything you had kept to yourself for so long. From the way you'd grown up, to the grand reveal your father had given you, the truth on how everything had actually affected you. How you had become your family's backbone, that while your mother and sister broke down, you had held strong, giving them the time to grieve that you'd never had. Emptying your soul to him in a way you never thought yourself capable of, but you know what they say about conversations after midnight.

You two never brought up what you’d spoken of that night but something in your relationship had immeasurably shifted. You’d find yourself seeking his presence, even when you were surrounded by your friends and team. You, of course still spent most of your free time with Tendou, who’d become your brother in all ways but one, which usually meant Ushijima as well, but you found yourself having more alone time with him. Not that either of you minded, you typically used this time to finish your homework in peace ( you loved Tendou, truly, but he had nothing that even resembled an attention span for anything other than volleyball and the latest edition of Shonen Jump). 

On the weekends you two would find yourselves just walking around the city, you talking about everything that had gone on in the past week and him listening intently chiming in at the appropriate intervals, occasionally providing advice or just a different perspective on any predicaments you may have ended up in. These sessions ended as they usually did, with a hug but you didn’t notice, not consciously anyway, that they would linger longer and longer as time went on, and that saying goodnight was harder. If you did, you would just brush the thought aside because of course it sucked that he had to go, he was one of your closest friends, it was only natural. 

You probably could’ve lived in your little bubble of denial the rest of your life if not for Tendou who, bless his heart, was just trying to help. 

“When were you going to tell me about you and Ushijima?” he’d asked one day out of the blue.

“What do you mean?” You looked over at him from your place on the floor, eyes borrowed in confusion.

“I mean like when were you going to tell me you liked him?”

You laughed, ignoring the way your chest tightened, “You’re seeing things Tendou, nothing is going on between me and Ushi. we’re friends just like you and me, like we've always been.” The red head looked at you for a moment, almost like he was contemplating something.

“Y/N, I love you darling, truly I do, but you are full of shit. Either tell him how you feel or let him go, you’re my friend but so is he. Neither of you deserve to have your heart broken.”

“You can’t break something that was never whole to begin with, besides, like I told you, there's nothing going on.” You changed the subject quickly after that trying to ignore the nagging voice in your head that agreed with Tendou. But the door had already been opened, and deep down, you knew he was right.

It was like a switch flipped in your mind, the late night calls and texts, the sleepless nights you spent helping him study and practicing with him. The way your heart would flutter when his hand would accidentally brush yours and the way you’d found yourself melting into his embrace when he would hug you. For a fleeting moment you were elated, but just as quickly it was replaced with dread, anxiety, and fear. You couldn’t- no you wouldn’t allow yourself to admit it. 

You would like to convince yourself that you were not ignoring Ushijima, that you were just busy. Exams were coming up so you had to study, and if it just so happened that you remember this fact every time he entered the room well it was just a coincidence. You started avoiding Tendou as well, the look in his eyes, a feeling you couldn’t, and frankly didn't want to name made you feel worse and there was nothing he could say that would change your mind. 

Everything was going perfectly according to plan, ignore Ushijima and Tendou until graduation and then you’d be off the college, Tendou to Paris and Ushijima would be a pro volleyball player like he had always wanted. The distance would hurt, but the alternative in your mind was much, much worse. At least for about a week, you should've known your luck wouldn't hold out as when you got back to your dorm, Ushijima was waiting for you.

And there you have it folks! And yes there will be a part 2 so please don’t come for me with pitchforks and torches.

Taglist: @pies-writes-and-more @thisnoodlewritesao3

[ahsokasshoto]

the weight down in the deep of you: a lucky batch fic ☘️

(guys!! i finally wrote a thing!!! feat. why ballast's name is ballast and why jackal loves throwing his prosthetic arms so much. hope you enjoy!!!)

A ballast is the secret, vital core of a ship: the weight down in the deep of you that keeps a vessel upright in dark water. - Catherynne M. Valente, The Girl Who Soared Over Fairyland and Cut the Moon in Two

    The sun hung low and hazy in the sky and most of the clones of the 37th battalion were still sleeping in their camp when a terrifyingly loud, terrifyingly explosive sound erupted from nearby the ship. 

    “What the kriff--” Jackal moaned, jolting awake. He held his head. He hated loud noises at the best of times; and it was even worse to be rudely awoken by one. 

    “Was that an attack?” another voice sounded. It was Ryder.

    “I don’t know, di’kut,” Cypher responded groggily. “Why don’t you go out and look?”

    Several of the Lucksters stumbled out of their tents into the cool morning air and looked around. It didn’t look like they were in immediate danger, but there was some smoking coming from Ballast’s workstation.

    On closer inspection, the entire workstation--as well as much of the dark, sandy ground--was covered in soot and ash. The greatest amount was collected on Ballast’s face. At least he’d had the sense to wear goggles. 

    “Oh, hey boys,” Ballast greeted his batchmates cheerily as they came over. “Just a faulty wire. Sorry if I woke you. I’m going to see if there’s any replacement parts on the ship.” 

    He walked off, whistling a sprightly tune as he went. His brothers shared glances between them, shaking their heads.

    “Does anything rattle that guy?” Rane wondered aloud. Jackal glanced toward Ballast’s retreating frame, a small smile gracing his features. 

    “You don’t know the half of it,” he replied, a faraway look gracing his features as a memory overtook him.

    The air was so thick with blaster fire, it was nearly impossible to see. This was not ideal for the clones of the 37th Battalion, who wound their way through a massive and labyrinthine Separatist facility. They were on mission from the Jedi council to retrieve a particular set of data for the Republic. The security around the facility was so great that they needed all hands on deck to help keep them at bay while others infiltrated the facility, which was why Cypher and Ballast found themselves winding their way through the dark hallways along with Jackal and Ryder. Jackal and Ryder were used to the front lines, but Ballast and Cypher were not usually in the thick of things like this. They’d been raised and trained for battle, but their talents typically had them supporting the other soldiers in other ways.

Now, they found themselves hunkered down in a side hallway while droids bore down on them from either side and they wouldn’t have time to retreat back the way they came before the droids caught up to them. Jackal held his head, struggling with the noise of the blasters. Ryder pat himself down wildly, trying to find which of his weapons still had any fuel left. 

    The familiar clicking of empty blasters sounded from Cypher’s pistols. “This is bad. This is terrible, disastrous, catastrophic!” he shouted over the noise as he hunkered down in the hallway. 

    “Keep it together, Cypher,” Ballast said, his voice steady despite the hammering in his chest. He’d never been in a position like this before, but he knew they all needed to stay calm if they were going to make it out alive. Still, he was painfully aware that they were outnumbered and outgunned. Glancing around, he noticed a control panel on the opposite wall. They could use that to short the circuits and get the doors shut to cover their retreat. But they didn’t have enough ammo left to cover him while he worked on it. His heart pounded furiously, his stomach was in his throat, but he forced himself to take a breath and clear his mind. There was a solution. There had to be, and he would find it. 

    A blaster bolt came frighteningly close to their position of cover and Jackal threw his arms up over his head, his metal prosthetic hitting Ballast in the process. Wait….there it was! The solution!

    “Jackal!” Ballast hissed to his brother. “Your prosthetic. We can use it to short that panel and get the doors closed!”

    “You want to use my arm?” 

    “I’ll make you a new one!”

    Jackal’s eyes went wild for a moment before settling with a fierce determination. “All right,” he said, tugging on his prosthetic with his other arm. It came free in his hand and he passed it over to his brother. “But this had better work!”

    “Yeah, I hope you know what you’re doing, Ballast!” Ryder cried, firing off a couple more of his few remaining shots. It wouldn’t be enough to last them if it didn't.

    “So do I,” Ballast replied through gritted teeth as he whipped out a couple of tools from his pockets, opened the sockets of the prosthetic, and set furiously to work. 

    What felt like an eternity but was really only a few moments later, Ballast handed the prosthetic to Ryder. The fist was closed except for the pointer finger, which was extended. “You’ll have to be precise with this shot!”

    “Wait, wait, wait!” Jackal cried, reaching for the prosthetic. Ballast was worried he’d changed his mind about using it, but he merely folded down the pointer finger and extended the middle finger.

    “Really? Right now?” Cypher cried, but before anyone could say anything else, Ryder sucked in a breath and launched the prosthetic at the control panel.

    The metal of the prosthetic alighted with sizzling electricity as it interacted with the panel. The boys held their breath for those agonizing seconds; the last thing they saw was the control panel fizzling and Jackal’s prosthetic dropping to the floor before the doors before them shut. 

    “It was the middle finger that did it,” Jackal voiced before they retreated back the way they had come. 

    Later that night, Ballast sat with a cluster of parts in his lap, working by the light of their campfire. He was determined to make Jackal’s new prosthetic even better than the last. Before long, he heard approaching footsteps and looked up to see Jackal coming over to join him by the fire. He sat down next to Ballast, who in turn shielded his project from Jackal’s eyes with his arm. 

    “Hey, let me see!” Jackal protested, craning his neck to try and sneak a look. 

    “It’s going to be a surprise!” Ballast replied, playfully knocking his brother in the shoulder. 

    “Alright, keep your secrets.” The two of them grew quiet as they gazed into the gently flickering flames. 

    “What a day, huh?” Jackal finally voiced. “You know, we managed to draw enough of the droids’ attention that the others were able to get the data we needed.”

    “So I heard. Glad your sacrifice turned out to be worth it,” Ballast grinned. Jackal just shook his head, growing serious.��

    “How did you do it?” 

    “Oh, well, I had to recalibrate some of the motor functions so that when it hit the panel--”

    “No,” Jackal interrupted Ballast before he was subjected to a long-winded explanation of mechanics. “How did you stay so calm? How weren’t you scared out of your mind like the rest of us?”

    Ballast looked back at the fire. “I was,” he said after a long moment. 

    “Wait, really?” Jackal looked at him incredulously. “Didn’t seem like it.”

    “When I’m working, there’s always a chance that something is going to break, misfire, explode….like a ship on rough water,” Ballast began to explain, his voice soft. “You can’t always predict the way the weather will turn, can’t control the wind or the waves, but you can control the way you carry yourself through it.” He allowed himself a small smile as he looked over at his brother. “Giving in to that fear wasn’t going to help any of us. I just wanted to be strong for us.”

    Jackal smiled broadly back at Ballast, placing his remaining hand on his brother’s shoulder. “Well, thank you. For always being the weight to carry us through. And hey,” he added, “maybe you should make a few more of those prosthetic arms. I kind of like that tactic.” 

    “I think I can do that,” Ballast grinned. Jackal chuckled. 

    “Just try not to let them explode, yeah? At least, not on purpose.” 

    “Now, where’s the fun in that?”

@monako-jinn-stories @just-another-dreamerr @lynnpaper @lavenderstaars @foxlock @maygalodon @letsunity @oo-hazel-oo @generaltano @cosmicghostie @lusiawonder @the-lucky-batch @burnthashbrown27 @stereotypicalpicnicmat @mango-peachjuice @namesmox and other lucksters i missed!

[jonahlovescoffee]

“everything’s alright” | J.M.

part two of the better together series

a/n: thanks to @chilling-seavey for sending this cute video into my dms that managed to inspire me to write this <3 even though it came out worse than my expectations :/ anyways, should i name this kid or nah? happy reading!!!

summary: jonah’s the only one who can calm his wailing daughter down.

warnings: more fluff!!!

word count: 1958

Your daughter was exceptionally well-behaved and polite -- only towards people that she’s familiar with, that is, which was why she was a literal angel when she was around the Frantzich family because Jonah, being the responsible son he was, had brought you guys back to his hometown quite frequently to visit his family and they, in turn, adored her very much.

But when it came to visiting your side of the family — something that you rarely did because they lived in another country — it was a different story entirely.

“Mommy, whose house is this?” Your daughter tugged at your hand to get your attention after you pressed the doorbell. She was rubbing her tired eyes with one hand, still a little drowsy after waking up from a long nap on the plane and in the taxi ride to your parents’ house.

“This is grandma and grandpa’s house, can’t you remember? We came here once last year,” you explained and she instantly clung tighter to your hand, her tired expression being replaced by a frightened one as she seemed to fully process what this meant. Being at your parents’ place meant family gatherings and family gatherings meant the presence of too many unfamiliar faces and loads of unwanted attention on her since she was not just the youngest of the generation, but also the kid who was only around once in a blue moon and she wasn’t a fan of too much attention unless it’s from her parents.

“Can we go home, please?” She pleaded yearningly and you offered her a comforting smile.

“Don’t worry, it’ll be fine, they won’t bite,” you assured her, but your words did almost nothing to soothe her nerves.

“Plus, I’m here with you this time,” Jonah appeared beside the two of you, having already unloaded all your bags from the boot of the taxi and paid the fare. He reached a hand out to ruffle her hair. “Nothing will go wrong.”

She was about to open her mouth to say something else when the door was suddenly opened by your sister, whose face lit up immediately upon seeing you. “Oh my gosh, hi guys! You’re finally here!” She exclaimed excitedly, extending both of her arms to pull you into a tight embrace. “I missed you so damn much.”

“It’s nice to see you too, sis,” you said as she proceeded to squeeze the air out of you, with no intentions of letting you go anytime soon. “Dummy, you know I love your hugs but if you continue squeezing me any harder I’m going to suffocate,” you joked and she released you with a laugh.

“And you brought along your hot boyfriend this time!” She squealed like a lovestruck fangirl as she gave Jonah another one of her infamous spine-crushing hugs and exchanged quick greetings before squatting down to match your daughter’s eye level.

“Who do we have here?” Your sister cooed at your daughter who was currently hiding behind your leg, staring at your sister warily. “Hi, little one, it’s just me, your aunt,” she held out a hand but your daughter seemed utterly petrified by her friendly gesture and extended her little hands towards you.

“Mommy, up, up,” she whimpered but you didn’t oblige to her request, which made her whining intensify. “Mommy, up, now!”

“Come on, hug your aunt, not mommy,” you urged but she stood at her spot, unmoving, now stomping her feet, still begging you profusely to pick her up.

With a sigh, you eventually picked her up from the ground and she buried her face in the crook of your neck. “She’s shy,” you told your sister, earning an understanding nod from her.

“No worries, I’ll show Jonah the way to the guest bedroom, then,” she stood up and took one of the luggage from Jonah despite his protests and turned on her heels, walking towards the stairs.

Before Jonah could follow suit though, as if she could sense him about to walk away, your daughter yanked on his sleeve to stop him. “Daddy, where are you going? Don’t leave me.”

“Don’t be silly, love. Daddy’s just going to put our bags in the room,” he leaned in to kiss her forehead once. “I’ll be back in a jiffy, you be a good girl with mommy, okay?”

She nodded and let go of him and with a peck on your cheek, he left you both on your own devices. You carried your moody daughter and followed the loud sound of chatter into the living room where most of your family members were gathered at, so deeply immersed in whatever conversation they were having that no one noticed your arrival.

“Hi,” you said meekly and heads snapped towards you all at once, finally acknowledging your presence.

“Oh my gosh, y/n!” After you returned all the hugs by your relatives, much to your daughter’s dismay, you plopped down on the last vacant spot on the couch. As expected, everyone started to bombard you with questions about your life abroad and some tried to humor your daughter to no avail. Yet despite not receiving any response from her no matter how hard they tried, they didn’t give up and leave her alone which was what she truly wanted them to do. At that moment, she wanted nothing more than to go somewhere quiet where she could be free of all the attention. She turned towards you to find you happily engaged in a conversation with someone else with the broadest grin plastered on your face.

And she didn’t like the fact that said person appeared to be another man. Based on her 3-year-old childish logic, no other man was allowed to make you as happy as you were now except for Jonah.

She had to stop this now.

“Mommy, mommy,” she called and you stopped talking to focus on her.

“Yes, hun?”

“I don’t wanna be here,” she whined and you pressed your lips into a thin line, slightly annoyed by how your daughter was acting.

“Yes, hun, I know you don’t but mommy wants to catch up with her family, understand?” You pointed to the group of kids playing in the opposite of the living room. “Why don’t you go ahead and join your cousins?” You suggested, expecting her to agree with you but she did the opposite.

Her lips started quivering and started to tear up, indicating that she was about to burst into tears if you didn’t do something quick. You hurriedly looked around for anything that could help you in this situation and spotted a container of cookies on the table, so you unscrewed the lid and took one out for her. “Ssh, don’t cry, here’s a cookie.”

Thankfully, she accepted it and didn’t activate her waterworks, enjoying her cookie in silence as you continued to chat with your relatives. But the calm didn’t last for long.

“How old is she already?” Your brother asked, kneeling in front of the both of you.

Your daughter didn’t like how close he was to you. And her.

She hated being around people that were strangers to her, especially males. There was something intimidating about them that never failed to strike fear in her.

“Three,” you answered and softly nudged her shoulder. “Say hi.”

Your daughter stayed quiet. “Honey? What did I teach you about manners?” You said with an edge in your tone.

Without warning, he picked her up and away from the safety of your lap. “Maybe this little sunshine needs my hug to warm up to me, don’t you, little one?”

That was all it took for her to start wreaking havoc.

“Get away from me! I wanna go home; I wanna go home; I wanna go home!” She wailed, flailing her limbs all around to his shock and he passed her back to you immediately.

Still, she couldn’t stop bawling her eyes out.

“Shhh, baby there’s nothing to be afraid of,” you cooed and stroked her hair in a poor attempt to calm her down. You were half-mad at her for being rude but you knew that it wasn’t the right time to lecture her unless you wanted the current situation to worsen. You weren’t exactly an expert at soothing her nerves. Jonah was the one who’s extremely good at this.

Speaking of him, where on earth is he now? He had been upstairs for a suspiciously long amount of time

As if on cue, your boyfriend walked down the stairs in a fresh set of clothes and completely freshened up. He quickly sprinted towards you when he witnessed the chaos and took her from you right away. “Let me take it from here.”

You mouthed a quick “you’re a lifesaver” and blew him a kiss before returning to your conversation.

Her crying died down instantly when she was in his arms. He knew she hated crowds so he walked through the dining room and the kitchen before reaching transparent sliding doors that led to the backyard. He slid them open and stepped out of the house, his feet coming into contact with the soft grass on the ground.

“Now, what’s wrong, sunshine?” He asked softly. His daughter’s head was resting against his chest, sniffling, her fingers toying with the pendant hanging on the chain around his neck.

“There’s too many new people in the room,” she complained. “It makes me nervous.”

Jonah waited for her to elaborate but she did nothing of the sorts. “I don’t think that’s the whole story, sweetheart.”

“Mommy kept talking to that particular guy and I don’t like it,” she admitted, twirling his chain around her fingers as she continued speaking. “Then he suddenly picked me up and called me ‘sunshine’. Only you can call me that so I…” she trailed off.

“So you lost it?” He asked her and she nodded. “Oh, sunshine, that was just mommy’s brother,” he explained and she seemed to relax a little at his answer.

“But why didn’t you go to play with your cousins in the first place if you disliked the attention?”

“I don’t know. What if they don’t like me?” He chuckled at her question.

“Sweetheart, you know that they’re your cousins, right?” He patted her head gently. “Which means that they’re family and they’ll love you no matter what,” he assured but she didn’t seem the least bit convinced.

“Look, everything’s alright. There’s nothing for you to worry about, sunshine,” he smiled warmly, which made her lips tug slightly upwards into a small smile as well. Seeing that she’s happy now, he re-entered the house and proceeded to make his way back towards the living room.

“Absolutely positively nothing?”

“Absolutely positively nothing,” he said and planted a kiss on her head.

“Now go on and have some fun with your cousins,” he placed her down onto the ground and she ran off in the direction of the group of little kids that she bonded with almost immediately.

Jonah went to sit beside you on the arm of the couch. You leaned into him habitually and placed a hand on his thigh.

“Everything’s settled, my lady,” he said, his voice only loud enough for you to hear.

“Even after all this time I still have no idea how you do it,” you managed to reply before everyone else turned their attention to your boyfriend and started to interrogate him like he was some kind of criminal.

“You know what? I’m starting to understand why our daughter doesn’t want to be here. Damn, does your family really need to know my height or they’ll die or something?” He whispered to you when it was time for lunch and everyone went to the dining room.

You laughed and looped your arm through his as you led him into the dining room.

[1rintooru]

When Life Gives You Lemons

Pairing: post-timeskip Bokuto Kotaro x fem! reader (its p gender neutral with a few exceptions)

Themes: fluff, fluff and more fluff

Word count: 2020 one-shot

Warnings: light swearing - that's it!

Summary: just you and bokuto remembering how you first met and started dating. And Bokuto being Bokuto 💖💫

“Do you remember our first date?”

You cocked an eyebrow at his question and shook your head incredulously, “Kou, how could I ever forget that?”

“I’ll never forget that face; you looked so beautiful.”

You smiled at the thought. You remembered that night so vividly as if it were only yesterday. All you wanted to do was dash in and out of the store to collect a few missing groceries. It had been pouring all day and within the short time you were outside, the rain had managed to soak through your paper bags, causing your groceries to rip through the softened paper. You were so upset that you ended up hastily tossing your individual groceries into the backseat of your car before getting in and speeding off.

“And I remember yours,” you chuckled, “that stupid, dumb face that looked right back at me.”

You had a hit a series of red lights – normally annoying you – but the downpour had gotten increasingly aggressive on your drive home. Your car felt like it was vibrating from the fat raindrops that hit the window and roof. You were mindlessly listening to the radio when a loud thump sounded from the hood of your car. Your eyes darted to the sound and you just barely caught a glimpse of white-gray hair and golden eyes staring at you like a deer in the headlights before quickly vanishing as the person rolled off the side. You shrieked and hopped out, mentally preparing yourself for the worst, only to see a young man lying on the road, illuminated by your blinding headlights.

“I really though I hit you…”

“Baby, you were at a red light. I had this all planned out,” Bokuto grinned smugly, then scratched his chin contemplatively. “Besides, how else was I supposed to catch up to you!”

He had plastic fruit net entangled in his fingers but you couldn’t quite make out what was within it. Once his eyes met yours his shocked expression was replaced with a confident boyish grin. He held up his bag, pointing it towards you.

“And then you had the nerve to say something as dumb as ‘Uh, you forgot your lemons!’”

“And you were all like, ‘Oh, you’re my hero! You’re so sweet. And handsome too!”

You rolled your eyes, trying – and failing – to stifle a giggle. “I did not say that!”

At the time, of course, you were beyond annoyed. You had barked a couple of insults and promptly snatched the lemons from him before you stomped back into your car. When you arrived home, you threw the fruit into the fridge before changing into a pair of dry clothes. You had managed to calm your nerves but the man from before never fully left your mind. The entire time you tore into him, a goofy smile was plastered on his face. Despite that, he was admittedly quite attractive. His wet hair stuck to the sides of his face, his drenched clothing clung to his body, contouring his muscular physique and he looked almost angelic with the headlights reflecting off his glistening skin.

He cleared his throat,” A couple of days went by, so I thought you didn’t even notice…”

And you almost didn’t. A few days passed and you ended up forgetting about the incident and the lemons altogether until one evening you stood in your kitchen wondering what to eat. You had raided your cabinets and scanned your pantry, but it wasn’t until you opened the fridge for a second time that you noticed the lemons from earlier, still safely contained in their netting. Suspicion began to bubble within you as you had started to realize something.

“I didn’t even buy lemons in the first place…” your voice trailed off.

In the commotion of that night, you didn’t even think twice about what you had snatched from the man. You were cold, wet, hungry and just had a lunatic jump in front of your non-moving vehicle; the last thing you were worried about were the intentions behind some fruit. You debated whether or not you should have simply thrown them away entirely, but you noticed something different about one of the lemons. You fished it out of the net and realized what you had seen earlier. You could just barely make out the digits that were scribbled in thick black marker – most likely written in a hurry – with his name underneath, followed by a crude smiley face.

Bokuto

Call me :)

You remembered how you rolled your eyes upon seeing that. ‘Who did he think he was?’ you thought. Despite your exasperation, something held you back from throwing away his eccentric proposal and to your own surprise, you ended up texting Bokuto that very night.

Your message finally reached him in the early hours of the morning. Bokuto instantly replied back the moment he saw his screen light up. In all of your retellings of the story, he always omitted just how anxious he’d become the past few days. You lived in his head rent free and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t evict you from his mind. Did his master plan really fail him? What if you didn’t even like lemons? Maybe he should’ve taken his shirt off instead. Better yet, he should’ve spiked your car with a volleyball to show off how athletic he was. He really would’ve loved to see you watch him during his matches. He pouted and let out a defeated sigh since he finally understood what it was like for Akaashi when he would overthink.

Your first message way terse and dry but it gave Bokuto enough serotonin for him to snap out of his slump. You ended up texting each other until someone caved and fell asleep, the rays of the rising sun already peeking through your blinds. Texting quickly turned to daily phone calls and that eventually escalated to the two of you constantly facetiming each other. At some point, without you fully realizing, Bokuto had turned into a quasi-roommate – always inviting himself in with the excuse that he didn’t know how to cook for himself. (You came to learn that this was very, very true).

You hadn’t even realized how lonely you’d felt before you met Bokuto, so you wholeheartedly enjoyed being able to see him all the time. However, what you didn’t enjoy was seeing him walk behind you through the monitor of one of your zoom meetings, with nothing but his boxers hanging loosely from his waist. You immediately sprung from your chair, shouting profanities and demanding he leave. The entire time he just smiled at you bashfully, shifting his weight uncomfortably and once you looked down, you finally understood why. You had forgotten that you only got dressed from the waist up – just a pair of barely-there panties prevented you from mooning your co-workers. Needless to say, your colleagues never let you forget you and Bokuto’s peepshow.

“It really was never a dull moment,” you smiled fondly, your mind flooding with memories of all the dates and silly adventures you shared together on a whim.

Bokuto hummed agreeingly, “So, when did you finally know?”

“Know what?”

“Well, you know… when did it feel like love for you?”

That was a good question – you hadn’t really put too much thought into it. A relationship with Bokuto was like having a tidal wave of love and affection hit you. All the time. At first, you tried to resist his efforts in order to protect yourself from getting hurt – turns out, he was the one who needed protecting. He had a knack of getting himself into trouble or diving head-first into something without realizing the risks or consequences. The time he dragged you to an annual food-fair on the boardwalk immediately popped to mind. He had begged you for months to take you there on a date. Once you finally gave in, his face lit up like a small child’s on Christmas and it stayed that way for the entire day while you both tried food from all the different food vendors. You’d both reached your limit but unlike you, Bokuto continued to scarf down food like there was no tomorrow – you suspected this was just another way for him to show off. The only reason he did stop was because the vendors had started to close their stalls and by that point, he had started to realize the error of his ways. The rosiness of his cheeks had paled as he hunched over clinging to his stomach, pain written clearly on his face. ‘I told you so’, you said, already digging through your purse for pain medication. He held up a hand, effectively stopping you, ‘Don’t worry babe, I’ll swim off the pain.’

Before you could even argue, he had already made a run for it, beelining towards the ocean. You chased after him, only catching up with him once you were both neck-deep in the water.  You tried to pull him out, but it ended up with you both playfighting instead. Every time you’d aggressively splash him, he would throw you into the air in retaliation and this went on until you were completely exhausted and he was complaining about the saltwater burning his eyes.

You remembered distinctly how your wet shoes squeaked as you walked along the boardwalk. You were glad the life had returned back to Bokuto’s cheeks, even though his hair was disarray and his eyes completely bloodshot. He had an arm twined around the small of your waist and despite his best efforts to hide it – you could feel him shiver underneath his drenched clothes. Someone once told you how your favorite things about your partner would eventually be the same things you come to resent them for. When you looked up at your boyfriend, you couldn’t have disagreed more. Every time you passed a streetlight his features would illuminate – reminiscent of how you saw him for the first time. You met each other through his idiotic plan and you’d be damned if you if you were ever going to miss out on these chaotic adventures together.

Your attention turned back to Bokuto, staring at you fondly through the monitor.

“I guess I just always knew,” you said with a coy smile.

“C’mon that’s not a real answer!” he whined, but even through the pixelated screen you can tell he was hiding a grin.

“Well, answer me this instead, Kou,” your voice quickly turned serious, “when will I get to see you again?”

Bokuto leaned back in his chair, stretching his arms before finally resting his hands behind his head.

“Not long. Besides, you’re lucky enough to see me on TV even when I’m not around,” he grinned mischievously and gave you a wink, making you roll your eyes, “Besides, I uh… I left you something before I left. I hid it behind our junk food stash, I think.”

You raised an eyebrow, but decided to go look without questioning him further. What you found hidden deeply in the nook of your pantry didn’t clear anything up and raised more questions instead.

“Lemonade?” you couldn’t contain your confusion as you held up the can to your camera.

“Read the label.”

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade :)

“I know it’s been tough for you baby, but we’re almost through it. Just a couple more weeks and I’ll be back home. I promise.”

You felt tears threaten to spill over as you read the label again. It was such simple gesture but it truly did encompass your relationship beautifully. Bokuto always had a thing for silly melodramas and goofy sentimentalities. Even after two years you still felt like you were a fresh couple – you never lost the feeling of butterflies in your stomach or the habit of rolling your eyes over his antics. You managed to collect yourself and you couldn’t help but smile when you looked back at him through the screen. He may have been an idiot, but he was your idiot.

“I love you Kou. Don’t keep me waiting.”

[shinriaaa]

Venus

Chapter 1

Summary: As his world faced the near extinction event, Levi Ackerman was coincidentally contacted by his cosmic relative. Unbeknownst to him, they are both alone in the universe as Ackermans. Not going to be replicated just like the others in different worlds, but to disappear once they’ll... die.

p/s another unedited fic soooo yea, please leave out your comments below if u guys wanted to let me continue this!

—

He was sure that the universe is playing his fate all along as if the mysterious void of different celestial bodies is just another speck of reality embedded in humanity’s mind like a whirlwind of eternal misery. Just another mind fuckery, making their species insane and pretty much useless if the world just began and ends in a blink of an eye.

Taking a break from his head aching stupor, he stood up and poured another cup of tea, an Earl Grey, which is safely tucked in a drawer of his domain at the moment for the past 70 years. The owner might have left it there for his pleasure but died like everyone else that was left in the world at the moment.

Sitting back on the swivel chair of the office, his computer— no, supercomputer suddenly gave a message. There is an email, an email and his eyes widened like it’s the most surreal thing that has happened ever since he was born on Earth. Emails er are long gone, and it was replaced by those electronic texts and all of the sudden, another automatic message receiving device has been invented that you immediately receive it to your head via a chip implanted there.

Levi stifled a laugh, much to his chagrin, he grinned silently. He clicked the notification, but his eyes widened when he saw the sender.

Mikasa… Ackerman.

To be honest, he doesn’t know her. He had no relatives with that name, and even if he did somehow, probably she’s on another side of the planet because of her name, which sounds Japanese. But why all of the sudden? Is she even alive? But where?

All those questions suddenly made him shiver when he realized that the Japanese peninsula was obliterated a year ago and the survivors fled into space.

He slowly read the letter, his eyes not even blinking. He swore that it all baffled him, like the universe itself and the world around him.

——

Dear Levi,

Hello. I’m Mikasa Ackerman.

I came from another world… and upon searching among the worlds that may still harbor life, I saw your surname. As silly as it is, I am hoping for you to email me back since I am all alone in the universe. You know that… we are the only ones who existed in the whole universe, even parallel ones. We are singular, Levi. We have only one life among the stars, and we are not going to be copied like the rest of the world be.

I wanted to reach out to you… Please. We are on the brink of extinction right now. An Ackerman alone in the universe is a terrible thing, and if I’m gone, no one will be like me again. Also you… you will turn to dust like the others, except you will not be copied into another universe. There is a wormhole, and I sent this to you at the quickest speed of light. I am in another universe, a parallel universe like the millions around us.

Save me and be with me. Please live. I cannot lose you.

Sincerely yours, Mikasa

——

He stared at the screen, his emotions are now in a sudden haze of confusion and bewilderment. As if on cue to his shocking discovery, he staggered back on his chair and fell on the floor when an explosion probably a thousand miles away from where he was temporarily living is obviously… obliterated by the force and the sudden drop of temperature made him shiver.

Another Higgs, and he’ll surely kill himself rather than being blasted by that damned bomb. He stood up, luckily the supercomputer wasn’t harmed and the bright light emitted from it made his place illuminated in contrast to the world outside his makeshift abandoned facility from decades long gone.

80 years ago, wars broke out. The earth slowly turned into ruins, and millions and billions of people died. The people lost control, and some of them ventured away towards the stars. The humans left here in this damned planet are always higged, turned to ashes, just for the sake of destruction. The Sun warmed, too warm and it killed everything.

The year 2113 wasn’t getting better either, it was far worse. It was almost an extinction-level event, and he feared the worst. The planet could potentially be obliterated by the species it gave life with, only the said species became its demise.

Now, in his apocalyptic world, he was sitting on his swivel chair, now called vintage by his timeline, and stared at the email outrageously, and remembered a story about a certain girl who wanted him to respond from years long gone. Levi heaved out a sigh, and if there’s any way that could get him out of this fucked up planet, he’ll do it. Even if it has consequences, or he will be eaten by aliens or whatsoever that awaits him up there in the void, he will find a way.

It’s not like humans can’t still offer a ride up to space and go to another hospitable planet, but unluckily for him, he was not a millionaire or a billionaire in this world. He can’t afford a seat— hell, he can’t even come inside that fucking rocket without a cash payment to offer. Because surviving is a damn expensive venture he’ll get into, and even though he’ll rob a bank here and now, he will probably end up dying or find nothing there.

Humanity is long gone.

And he was still here, looking at his computer, like he was so lucky, so lucky in fact, to even be contacted by someone even though it’s from another world or anything in this matter. As long as someone is still worried about his well-being.

Finally, after he pondered for a moment, he clicked the email button, well, a reply would suffice. His fingers hovered the keyboard, and it was so foreign for him to act like this— even to the world as living in at the moment, that he sent a message through a keyboard and a fucking computer at that.

He typed and typed, leaving out the details and he sighed. There is no turning back… he will just wait and see if there is a possibility that he will be free.

——

Dear Mikasa,

Hello… Yes, I’m Levi.

I’ve received your email. Please count the hours since you sent it so that we can properly talk through this… old type of sending messages. I am unlucky living on this Earth, probably too far away to reach you. If you need my help, it is probably too late. We are getting obliterated right now, and there’s more to come.

Mikasa, how can I save you when I couldn’t save myself from this fucked up world? Tell me how and I’ll gladly do it. Thank you for reaching out, even though you don’t need to.

By the way… are you safe? Because I’m fucking obviously not.

Yours, Levi Ackerman

——

Sending it… he slumped back on his not-so-comfortable swivel chair as the loading continued. But after a few seconds, he saw the ‘sent!’ notification and a small smile lit up his lips. By the thoughts of it, he hoped that it may reach her somehow… if not too late. Extinction, like his world, is probably common among the worlds that have a common ground— parallel. The multiverse is a common concept, and not like it was originally taken kindly, some people still doubt it until now. Levi thought if she was from another universe that is parallel to him, or maybe… if it is parallel to his world, she would probably be in front of a computer talking to him at the end of the world.

Sighing, he closed his eyes as the smell of apocalypse lingered around him. It smells filthy, deranged and he hates it. Loathes it, in fact.

Freedom… did it even exist? He wondered as he saw another thunder and a blast from up above, silently praying that there are no casualties in that land to become one of the dead.

But pondering what Mikasa said, they are luckily replicated to the other parallel universes. Maybe the people here are living there peacefully without the Higgs, and maybe they die but luckily be buried underneath the Earth.

But not him.

He never felt so alone until her email. If the universe is playing his fate, they sure want him to suffer.

—

It was a few minutes after he took a nap and a message suddenly came into his bright supercomputer, like it was a fire ignited from the wood. He looked up, seemingly deluded by the fact, that someone was communicating with him. Like it was not just a dream or trickery from his mind throughout this madness.

It was all true.

Mikasa is still alive, somewhere… but still alive.

Slowly clicking the email while his eyes glued to the screen, he finally read her reply. Bit by bit, slowly… like he can finally see the light.

——

Dear Levi,

Thank the Gods you’re alive!

To answer your request, I received your email after a few minutes when I sent my email to you. I think you quickly answered it, right? Also… I’m safe. I’m in a spaceship at the moment, but as you can see, humanity in this universe is on a brink of extinction. We are nearing the wormhole, in case you’re wondering why I can quickly send the message. Apparently…

We’re probably coming to your universe.

I doubt it… but I saw the map and it was headed towards your universe when I first searched your name, it has an address, and I knew, we’re going there. Levi, I can save you. I’ll save you if I can, I’ll control the spaceship since everyone is asleep…

Find a way to get into a rocketship. And I’ll meet you at your world’s moon base (if there’s any) and I’ll get you.

Sincerely yours, Mikasa

——

Levi inwardly smirked, as an idea sparked in his mind. Speaking of moon bases, he has a friend in NASA, still here at the Earth as of this moment. The flight towards the moon base will happen this afternoon… if he can see exactly the sun in the dark skies that indicates it was still morning.

He replied to her email, grabbed some supplies for his venture outside towards the 15-minute walk towards NASA's main building, and locked the door.

It was not a luxury seat on a starship ride, but the Moon is the door to his freedom.

——

Dear Mikasa,

Thank you. I think I found a way. I’ll meet you up. Though the ride will take place after three days, two and a half days is the minimum time of travel. Perhaps you can meet me after four to five days if possible.

Please be safe. And thank you for saving me. Email me up, and I’ll answer you later since I’ll be going on an errand.

Yours, Levi

——

Chapter Two

A/N Please let me know in the comments below about your thoughts! don’t be shy to leave a note, hehehehehe ily! ✨

[ravenclaw-questions-gone-writing]

Outline # -1 Abandoned Lore (Trinity)

@fanfics-and-fangirling

I have learned my lesson, I will be writing these on Google docs and then copy-pasting onto Tumblr. While I am on GD, I figured I might as well open the docs I used to write the actual fic. Man, I went through a ton of hoops to get where I am. I will be using the most coherent ones for reference. 

I can literally track my thought process as I went through writing all the different versions and I still have no idea how tf I went from this to dropping a flaming papermache whale on Ra’s Al Ghul. And I will die mad about it. Which means more meticulous notes in the future I guess.

Also, I’d like to apologize for how long it took to get this out, I have no sense of time whatsoever and as always, there’s a lot more than expected. This was 7 pages long

Original Ramble Post 

Like most of my stories, the MC is an OCI - reincarnator brought into a fictional world they once watched. (Because I am obsessed with that trope.)

I now find the original name I had for her cringy and out-of-place given these are norse gods. So, from now on her name is Lokka, which is the female version of Loki

There’s a whole ass backstory about the transition of godly names and power I won’t go into. Just think Thor and female Thor kind of thing I guess. She’s basically seen as a spare Loki but it’s also a respected position.

Was tempted to name her Sigyn since Marvel doesn’t care about actual norse myth relations. No, Idc that there’s a canon Sigyn.

If you’re curious, the original name was Aradia. Yes, like the queen of witches.

MC is an asgardian, the daughter of the librarian in the royal palace and a blacksmith

She managed to get an apprenticeship under Loki and is occasionally taught by Frigga. She also learns under Eir when both her royal teachers are busy.

Lokka found her way into the central plane, probably having found it’s location from Loki’s notes and is unaware that it’s unstable.

So, Lokka is in the central plane, having the time of her life exploring new lands when she stumbles across a crying Marinette who is very lost 

Unlike Lokka, Marinette does not know where she is or what is going on. She literally just tripped into a portal and has no way home.

Lokka takes Marinette under her wing and promises to help her find a way home

Problem is, she doesn’t know which of the three universes Marinette is from.

Even if/when she finds out that the girl is from MLB-verse, she still wouldn’t know which one that is because she has no reference to which world is which. Only that Marinette is probably not from Asgard.

At this point, she is unaware she lived in Marvel, she just knows Asgard is Norse Mythology.

So they continue to wander the central plane, Marinette ends up picking up a card guardian for a pet, accidentally becoming a cardcaptor. 

Marinette has trouble pronouncing Lokka and Lokka gives Mari permission to call her Cosette (pre-reincarnation name)

Meanwhile, Ra’s sends Damian and Talia into the Central plane for combat experience and resource gathering.

Ra’s might be 700 years old, he might have access to the Central plane but he sure doesn’t know about magic or how it came to be or the current state of it. He might know something’s off because all the inhabitants have been increasingly on edge and the weather’s been stranger than usual but he didn’t deemed it important

Notably, he has never seen anyone other than those who he’d sent in himself in the central planes (CP, from now on bc I am getting tired of typing the entire thing out) so as far as he knows, the CP’s only entrance point is under his control.

Talia and Damian, who’s still going by Hafid, go hunting for resources and training

They separate for a bit for individual hunting/training time

Marinette and Cosette (Lokka) stumble across Damian’s camp

Misunderstandings occur, Damian fights them, more accurately he fights Cosette

Cosette tries to protect Marinette while also making sure not to harm her opponent

It was harder than she expected considering her opponent was a child

Asgardian training pulls through and she is able to do both

Damian’s tied up, Marinette is confused, and Cosette does not want to deal with this

Negotiation time

Marinette can’t speak Arabic, Damian doesn’t know french, and Cosette has all-speak

This means Cosette’s sitting there, having to repeat everything the kids say to each other for translation’s sake

also misunderstandings before the kids realize allspeak is a thing

Cosette is stuck with two kids who don’t like each other, one of which barely puts up with her so she does what most adults do when kids are too troublesome

Distract them: she does magic tricks with actual magic

Damian+Marinette are fascinated, Cosette accidentally gains two magic students 

even though she’s still learning herself and all she has for guidance right now are Loki’s and Frigga’s notes

So, the trio end up travelling together

Damian demands Marinette should at least be able to fight so they train her too

They also figure out that Marinette and Damian’s worlds are not the same.

Cosette drills some value of life, basic morals, and feminism into Damian’s head

Marinette and Damian (Hafid) have trouble pronouncing each other’s names

They chose nicknames for each other from Cosette’s bedtime stories

Marinette is obviously angel or Tenko

Damian is gets Kabane, the name of a half demon

Kabane later changes to Kasane, protective blade

Yes, Cosette was/is a weeb and yes, they still mispronounce names which defeats the whole purpose but at least they kids don’t notice now even if Cosette is cringing every time they

They run into another card guardian and this one goes to Damian.

Cosette does not pout about this, it would be very immature

One training montages, several fights, a couple language lessons, and an abandoned (and Cosette-raided) house later, Cosette gets to the part of Loki’s notes where she figures out that the CP is collapsing in on itself and uh-oh

She tells the kids the gist of it but they’re too smart, ask all the right questions, and end up figuring out the important parts of situation that she’s trying to keep from them

Cosette is both impressed and a little put out, mostly impressed because not only did they figure out extremely complex magic, they also mostly remained level headed.

Marinette wants to rescue the card guardians and for once Damian is backing her up so Coestte gives up the notion of returning home and they go collect the guardians.

Remember, DC and MLB universes are closing in on each other 

MCU is drifting away

If they don’t collect the guardians, Cosette would have the time to just drop them off at their world collection points and head back to hers

After collecting a couple guardians, they end up finding Talia and explain the situation to her.

Talia joins the gang, she may or may not be plotting a marriage

They raid a couple more houses, collect the 54 card guardians, and complete the power transfer ritual (replacing the Yue’s trial because the cards are the guardians)

The cards end up latching onto the three kids. 

Marinette gets the Mistress title, Damian gets Sun Guardian, and Cosette gets Moon guardian.

Originally Cosette was going to be the mistress and Marinette the Moon guardian but because of the way I’ve decided magic works in this world - explaining that will need a whole other post - if Marinette is the moon guardian and gets the Ladybug miraculous, she will - for lack of better word - get sick and possibly die... or not.

Y’know what, it made sense at the time. But now that I think about it, we’re going back to the original idea.

Cosette’s the Card Mistress, Marinette’s the Moon guardian and Damian’s the Sun guardian.

Spoiler alert: that is a plot point for tropes-verse.

The completion of the ritual breaks puts CP deteriorations in high acceleration

Damian and Talia get into their circle, Cosette and Marinette in the other

Damian doesn’t have any cards bc he doesn’t want his grandfather trying to get to them. He and Talia agreed Ra’s would only know about the CP’s destruction. He does, however, have a CP beast that they picked up.

CP beast: magical creature that was born of CP’s magical residue or smth

Damian’s looks like a Teddiursa (Teddy bear pokemon) it is not

They have a notebook from a raided house detailing CP’s deterioration for proof

Cosette goes with Marinette because she can’t make it back to her universe and in the event that Marinette’s also from Cosette’s universe, she won’t be alone

They separate with the promise of meeting again.

At this point, I have had several differing ideas

They all go into DC world because they aren’t sure of Marinette’s world

Child trio goes into MLB world and Talia tells Ra’s Damian died

Everyone goes into MLB and Ra’s finds out about the collapse when he tries going in himself and finds out he can’t and just assumes they died

Y’all, I’m starting to see why I can’t do one-shots…

One of the things I forgot to mention in the rambling post is that while Marvel-verse was pulling away, it also messed with the time regulation thing, a day in the Maribat-verse will

Time in CP was very messed up

Kind of assumed readers could piece it together but I figured might as well make it obvious and straight up say it

MLBU: Cosette and Marinette arrive safely 

Marinette is delivered home and Cosette has to figure something out

They find out Marinette has only been gone for a week

Marinette has some separation anxiety for about three days

Cosette slowly realizing this is an MLB universe and having a crisis

Cosette gets adopted by the Dupain-Chengs and starts working at the bakery

I have not figured out ages for Cosette

MLB goes like most Maribat fics pre-gotham because I’m lazy

Will likely be adjusted if I ever actually write this fic

Except Cosette steps in when things got too far and Paris has 3 heroes

Cosette is the known as the Sorciere or Lokka

Her uniform is just her asgardian armor

Good but misguided Adrien, Cosette probably adopts him too

Love square goes platonic and Cosette is glad this rom-com is over

Magic tutoring continues

Cosette is neutral with Fu and fascinated by the miraculous

You remember those ghost interactions? Those are filtering in

One of the first things to merge is the internet, because it doesn’t have a physical body and it’s just waves of information

News and discoveries between the world are being swapped

Given what I remember from DC and dimension travel, it wouldn’t be surprising if they figured out universes were merging.

The news about JL and Paris’s situation are causing all kinds of confusion

Cosette beings looking for information on Damian

As the physical world begins merging, there’s pockets of space where you can slip from one world into another; not quite portals but close

Eventually the trip to NY became a trip to Gotham because their plane slipped between planes (sorry, I saw the chance and I had to take it.) but yeah, that happened.

There’s quite a few details I’m forgetting

DCU: Damian and Talia arrive ok and report bare basics to Ra’s

It has also only been a week

Ra’s is displeased to find them back until they report the state of the CP

There’s the whole coup not long after and Damian is sent to Bruce

Damian is much more innocent looking when he’s bringing what appears to be a teddy bear with him

It’s name is Abd and it has grown wings by now. Actual name pending.

He gets teased about it, but under Cosette’s teachings, he has learned the virtue of patience, underestimation, and getting revenge with a side of entertainment

He does not try to kill Tim either

He also has to make the choice of bringing Abd with him as Damian or as Robin

He choses to make a side company for WE making toys based off creatures from the CP so Abd wouldn’t look too out of place

It takes two weeks for the bats to realize there’s something off about the Abd

They are convinced it’s haunted and Damian is very entertained

Abd only moves in daytime when no one - Damian excluded - can see it

Movement can expel magic that interferes with recording tech

Alfred is the first to figure it out and surprise, surprise, he has some magic books for Damian to learn from

It’s from the Wayne family library and they just assumed the language was lost to time. At least three are from Alfred’s own family.

Bat brothers spend the next 6 months trying to convince Damian his magical pet bear is a haunted doll.

Damian sort of getting along with Poison Ivy because his Sun magic is very compatible with plants and they love him

On an unrelated note, the plants seem to refuse to attack the new Robin

Damian randomly, unconsciously humming to songs Cosette and Marinette sang

Damian just vibing with the magic users of JL and Teen Titans

No one took him seriously at first but he pointed something out during a conference

“Robin, stand down and let the magic users handle this” - Green Lantern, probably

Constantine who actually knows what he’s talking about “No, no, let the boy talk.”

The plan was twice as efficient after Damian was through with it

Now Constantine’s trying to adopt Damian as an apprentice, he’s failing bc the bats are protective and possessive of what is theirs

Reminder that Damian brings Abd with him everywhere and he’s still getting teased about it from anyone who is not a bat (still convinced the thing is haunted)

The only thing the magic users have picked up about Abd is that he’s a magical construct which could mean a number of things but they brush it off as just a doll.

No one is prepared for the thing to come to life, multiply in size, and start spitting ice, sleep sand, and illusions. (Hiccups bubbles and can also turn into a cloud.)

They are also not prepared for the thing to quadruple in size and for Damian to ride it like a horse into battle. Reminder that Abd has wings and can fly.

Confusing talk about what’s going on in Paris and some other parts of the world

JL slowly figure out the universal merger that Damian already knows about

Damian is not impressed, it took him and Angel about 2 hours as 9 year olds

Somehow, Damian still has the ice prince image, less demon spawn though, that goes to Abd

Time moves on and one day, a plane from the other world arrives in Gotham

There’s a bit of confusion but it’s not exactly the first time something like this has happened at this point

WE steps up and offers jobs and a tour and all the usual Maribat plans (not just for the kids but all the other people on the plane)

Given the merger of the internet, MLB class and crew have some idea who the Waynes are and they accept. 

Estimated about 6 months for full merger so people from MLB world are kinda just stuck there until then

Lila literally cannot lie about knowing the Waynes personally but she sure can lie about other things.

Dick and Damian are sent in to monitor the group

The reunion is awkward given they can’t freely interact and are not supposed to know each other. 

While Dick is talking, there are just wide eyed staring between Marinette, Damian, and Cosette. With something a little extra between Marinette and Damian.

Cosette is torn between laughing and groaning at another rom-com trope coming in fast.

She ends up filming it bc blackmail is always good to have

Adrien is confused and quite frankly, he’s really just there to cover for them

The tour begins and about five minutes in, the trio breaks off and exchanges stories and names.

Cosette hears about Batman and has a dawning realization of what this world is, mentally nopes out, later digests that they are going into Maribat verse

Starts checking off Maribat tropes they’re coming across bc she might as well have fun with it

They continue to meet up

Batfam thinking Damian somehow managed to get two girlfriends

Damian choking on his breakfast when it is brought up

The girls are invited to dinner and Damian is just dying inside

Cosette blatantly hitting on all Damian’s brothers in the first 5 minutes

Damian screaming internally while Cosette cackles

Dick is awkward until he realizes it’s a joke, Jason plays along, Tim has an awkward bean crisis

Tim x Cosette? Maybe.

Cosette does that sit and repeat thing at least three times out of habit

Batfam gets full explanation about how they met and everything

I have played with the idea of Cosette getting fear gassed a couple times and Idk how it would go tbh.

That’s as far as I got with this version, so shenanigans ensue

Pretty sure they used the cards and magic throughout even if I didn’t mention it

Absolutely would be useful for being in two places at once

I later changed so the merger happens and then Paris’s heroes meet the Justice League

Damian immediately recognizing Cosette but not Marinette bc magic

still effective but weaker because of Damian’s magic type

He later recognizes Marinette later when she pulls off a move he taught her way back in CP

Nickname confusion for everyone else

Cosette vs Constantine on who gets to teach Damian magic

Damian goes to Paris. They beat Hawkmoth and then go to Gotham.

Also had a general idea of a plot with LoS that never got fleshed out past existing

If we’re going for the rebound version: Cosette reunites with Thor and Loki during the Avengers movie

Also, poor Heimdallr. He probably had a lot of headaches with the universe crash

Accelerated merger because of the convergence in the dark world.

I wanna go with 2012 Avengers towers shenanigans. + Loki and his sort-of but not really daughter

Cosette vs Antman, shrinking/growing, science vs magic.

And then there’s the whole Ironman vs Batman vs Arrow rich boy fight

Hammer x Luthor or Hammer vs Luthor?

Also, Cosette just staring at her home universe in betrayal and being insulted she didn’t think of it earlier because classic Nordic myths had Loki as Odin’s brother and not his son among other things but still

Fight against Thanos is a bit anti-climatic when you give a gremlin murder child magic and a sword that can through anything, including magical artifacts.

this baby boy can and will fight God and Cosette’s not really the kind to hold him back

If I actually wrote this, a lot of things would probably change because I’d actually have to put more thought into logistics and how things work

[umbralsound-xiv]

Prompt #1 - Foster

Character: Daidukul

“---And you have to pay attention to their mannerisms and race, too. Just as we in the Steppe have different ways of speaking between our people, so too do they, but perhaps even moreso...”

The larger Xaela sat cross legged beneath the canopy of a simple yurt, the warm glow of the stove illuminating the man’s equally warm features. Opposite him, surrounded by notes and paperwork inked in a childish hand, perched a young boy of around eight summers.

“Miqo’te - Those with long, fur covered ears and tails, will often stress the ‘h’ sound of many of their words, which can be uncommonly difficult to replicate for those who have not grown with the sound in their dialect! Of course, this isn’t the case for all of them, there’s exceptions to every rule, and regional dialects are often more prevalent in---”

“...Daidukul?”

The child’s attention had not been what it usually was, this sun. Daidukul had noticed. The snowy haired child was usually a quite dilligent learner, and often had a mouthful of questions that came forth with little hesitation - That Daidukul would just as brightly answer. But no such cheer was found in the way his name was spoken, in this moment.

It gives him pause, as he regards the boy with a brow knit with concern, through locks of ruby hair.

“...Yes, Dawa?”

His tone held all the warmth it could. Without it, Dawa may not have been able to speak so freely. His chest fills, and glassy green eyes meet that of his tutor.

“...Can... Can i ask you something?”

The way his tone wavered told as much. This was no academic question, of that much Daidukul was certain. The larger man leans to rest his hands on his knees, bowing his head to better listen to the meek voice of the child that quickly lost it’s volume.

“Of course.” Daidukul smiled. His tail gives a small shift against the rug beneath him. “I’m listening. Take your time.”

A thin and thankful smile pulls the lips of the boy, before his gaze sinks into the rug beside him. The crackle of the fire dominates the sound of the yurt for a moment, and a hitched breath precedes his words.

“...The Adarkim are having a... Gathering today. We were told to bring food, and a story, and I---...” His voice cuts, as his mouth worries and his eyes well.

Daidukul fights to keep his rosy smile, but his expression softens.

Most of Daidukul’s younger students were sent by their own parents, or at least a close relative. It had only dawned on Daidukul some short moons ago that he’d never actually met any of the boy’s relatives, and he never spoke of them in any capacity. The petition for him to learn Eorzean came straight from the Khatun with a hefty sum to secure his services.

The child was destined to become a merchant, after all.

He finally returns his gaze to Daidukul.

“...I don’t--- I... Don’t have anyone to go with, and i, was... wondering if you... Would go with me?”

Stunned, Daidukul blinks. There wasn’t many things in this world that would silence him for long. But surprise was a common victor when it did.

“--Y-you’re so good at telling stories, s-so i thought that you might... Want to. It’s... It’s okay if you don’t---”

“Dawa, of course! I’d be delighted!”

The child finally looks up with a smile, but it pales in comparison to the wide grin upon Daidukul’s features. He’d already started packing the things away; the lesson had already begun to dwindle to a close before he’d asked.

“...R-really?”

“Of course! It sounds like fun, and i get to spend some quality time with a such a pleasant student!” Things packed away, Daidukul rises to his feet, brushing down his clothes to set them straight. “Well, if we’re bringing food, we should stop by the market to see what they have in store, mm? Should we bring sweet or savory, do you think?”

Dawa bounds to his feet. Any worry had soon fled him, now replaced by excitement. “Sweet!” He proclaims, grinning.

It’s only then, that the young child reaches for Daidukul’s hand.

It gives him pause. Nothing to pull away from, most certainly. Dawa was small, even for his age. Daidukul had always had his suspicions, though he’d never voiced them.

Tiny hand in hand, Daidukul holds him gently and firmly, allowing him to be pulled giddily along by his dutiful student.

“Something sweet... We’ll find something, i’m sure!”

So this was what it felt like.

Daidukul counted his blessings that he was a good few fulms taller than Dawa, and the sun was already starting to dwindle below the horizon. It at least helped him hide the tears that began to form in the corners of his eyes.

Being a father was nigh unattainable for him. This much, he strongly believed. It was for the best, considering the circumstances; no matter how much it pained him to think about.

But he’d take little moments like this, and cherish them.

[aromantic-romance-writer]

Tengen Uzui x Fem! Pillar! Reader

[I Value You The Most]

How many times have this gorgeous man made me jealous and straight at the same time, I have no idea-

So I made this to let those emotions all out lmao.

Pretty much self-indlugent though :((( sorry. And Tengen isn't married to his three unbelievably hot wives here too so double sorry-

Hopefully though, you would still be able to enjoy!

Tengen almost can't believe it. There you stood, in a pillar's demon slayer uniform (nothing really changed except the buttons were gold now, but still-), your legs wrapped in bandages. He remembers that day two years ago. He saved a certain girl whose rank was Kanoe from a Lower Moon demon.

"[L/N] [Y/N]. I'll do my very best." you say with a grin. After the Pillar Meeting, Tengen comes up to you.

"Congratulations on being a pillar!" he exclaims with proud eyes. You crane your neck to look up at him, your eyes wide with surprise.

"Y-you remember me?" You ask in disbelief.

He smiles broadly with a wink. "I do."

"Really?! Someone like me?" you ask yourself, feeling giddy. "Wow..."

"You've come a long way. We may be of the same rank, but you're not of the same flamboyant level as I am."

You laugh. "It's nice to see you haven't changed one bit, Uzui-san."

That fateful day, when the Sound Hashira have saved you and finished fighting off that demon, he gave you a proud smile.

"You did a flamboyant job staying alive all this time."

And he let you decapitate the demon's head.

Ever since, you worked harder than ever. He was your inspiration these past 24 months of relentless training and experimenting, until you yourself was able to defeat a demon from the 12 Kizuki.

And here you are now. Called the Blood Pillar.

° ° °

After every Pillar Meeting, Tengen gets more and more disturbed by the sight of you.

Almost after every meeting, you would have new bandages wrapped around your legs. And that was just your legs. He's sure that there could be more under that uniform. While some of the old ones were replaced with scars. At first, he doesn't mind. He thought that you were new to your position as a pillar and have some wounds from your missions, but it's been such a long time now. Why do you always have these new wounds and scars?

Then he remembers. Blood Pillar. Now that he thinks about it, what the hell? Blood Pillar? Exactly from what Breath is that derived from? Does that explain all these new injuires you keep getting?

After the meeting, you see him march up to you, looking all serious. Honestly scared the heck out of you. Did you do something wrong? But you aren't really interacting with him lately, much to your disappointment.

"[L/N]." he crouches to your eye level, giving you an intense stare. "Are you okay?"

You blink. "H-huh? Why wouldn't I be...?"

He frowns. Oh no, is that the wrong response? He straightens up and grabs your wrist, pulling you away. You weren't able to react correctly and even say anything as you stared at his grip on your wrist. You're not sure what to feel about it, but you can feel your cheeks grow hot.

"Where are we going?"

"I just want to have a little chat."

~

"Oh!" you exclaim as you understood what was the deal earlier back at the Ubuyashiki Estate. You were in an empty field, sitting on the fresh grass of spring. Tengen asked all about your breath style and wounds. You were seriously admiring how confident he is to just ask that to you when he knew you weren't really close. You can't even ask Sanemi about his own scars and where he got them.

"Actually, my father was a very skilled doctor." you start as he listened to you intently. "He taught me how to handle medicines and how this certain tool should be used, and the like. After the day you saved me, I wanted to become more useful as a slayer at the same time be an unexpected enemy to the demons."

"You see, I'm a marechi. And I met a demon whose Blood Demon Art makes their own blood explode or burn. And it gave me the idea, and started to experiment on my own blood. It was a painful process, but it was worth it. After I became a pillar, I learned some tricks from Shinobu-san since I spend a lot of my time getting treated at the Butterfly Estate. I learned how to make poisons painful to scabbard but painless to humans and stocked it in the sheath of my sword. But it's really pretty useless unless my blood is mixed with the poison."

You finish. You stare up at the cloudless sky, adoring the pure blue color of it. Tengen just stares at you for a moment.

"So basically, you have to cut yourself for each form you make with your sword covered in poison..." he concludes ismn a mutter. Why would you make such a breath style? And isn't it too dangerous for your wounds to get exposed all the time or for too long? Plus, demons' favorite food is marechi. Then there's also the threat of blood loss.

This was all irritating him for some reason. He never realized how he deeply cares for you. Every time he sees you with yet again a new bandage, he can't help but feela tightness in his chest.

"[L/N]." he says, making you look at him with a hum. You were taken aback at the soft expression he gave you. "Tell me every time you have a mission."

"Why though?" you ask with a curious look.

He averts his gaze, feeling sheepish. It was a first for Tengen to feel like this. He's never shied away before. In frustration, he abrputly stands. "Just because." and he scratches his head. He walks away, leaving you alone on the field.

"U-Uzui-san...?" you wore such a dumbfounded expression. Was that an order?

° ° °

You sigh in relief. You've finally managed to go on a mission without Tengen on your tail.

These past few months, he's been 'accompanying' you on your missions and it's been annoying you lately. You don't even tell him when that you'll go on a mission. You just get surprised that he's already waiting by your house. He's also doing most of the fighting as well. He wouldn't let you draw your sword sometimes. Somehow, you were able to escape from him today.

Although in those times, you enjoy his company. He doesn't really talk much and seems like he'd rather listen to you. From stories to things Shinobu tells you, to even your problems. He was always there, listening. You've noticed that the way he smiles at you have changed. He always had that reassuring smile. A smile that would tell you "I'm here, always". It reminded you of how your father would occasionally treat your wounds after playing outside. But your father have passed, and no one else would be there for you anymore.

Until Tengen came.

Truthfully, you didn't mind being lonely for a while. Your pride as a demon slayer would allow you to sacrifice your own life to save others. You believed that you lived a contented life already. Nothing more is going to make you happy nor sad. It's okay for you to die protecting others.

Again, until Tengen came.

It's always because of him, these beliefs and thoughts keep changing. He changed you to become stronger, to feel secured and reassured around him, and that something was missing in your life. You weren't sure what it was, but you refuse to pass away without it in your life.

You stop walking. The sun was setting, shedding its final rays of light on the surface from the horizon. The wind have become eerily cold. The scent of human blood was strong, but a stronger smell was coating it. You cover your nose in reflex. What a sinister smell. Pompous and confidence was strongly flowing in this demon's blood.

A 12 Kizuki?

But this scent was more disturbing than the last two Kizukis that you faced from the last two years.

You rushed to the scene, following the scent as it grew stronger and stronger. Soon, you find a distorted white figure growing from what it seems like a vase. His back were lined with infant-like arms and was humming to himself until he felt your presence.

He turns to you, widening your eyes in horror. His face was even more distorted.

"My, I think I smell a marechi." He seems to smile, though you really can't tell. "Fufu, and a pillar?"

You unsheathe your sword and took a stance. You read the kanji on his eyes that were placed vertically on his face.

Upper Moon Five.

All you've encoutered so far were Lower Moon demons, so you expect that this battle will be tough.

"Say, would you like me to show you a piece I've recently finished?" he asks, his tone sounding conceited.

You grit your teeth. "I am not interested." you cut your arm with your blade, making sure the edge is fully coated in blood.

The demon bobs his head to the side. "Since you caught my attention, I'll ignore your rudeness just this once." he grins. "What is the point of slicing your own flesh? To provoke me?"

"You'll find out soon enough." You say before charging at him.

° ° °

Tengen was running as fast as he can, and the closer he gets, the louder he can hear your sword clanging. Although he's a shinobi, so his speed is quite enhanced, he fears that he's too late. It took him this much time to figure out where you were.

He may have realized this later than he should, but you were precious to him. You gave him a reason to be stronger - to live. He won't allow himself to be weak and die before you. You were now his top priority, then the people, then himself. If he can, he'll force you out of the demon slayer corps. Oh, but he can, he just won't. Other than your safety, your happiness was also top priority.

After all those times you've talked together, fought together, he starts to cherish every single moment he spends with you. And he can tell that, although undeservedly, it was him who drove you to be who you are today.

The Blood Pillar.

Just a few more hours, the sun will start to rise. He was finally getting close, until he hears silence. The sounds of clanging and clashing stopped. His heart was practically beating out of his chest in suspense. What happened?

~

You were breathing deep and hard from exhaustion. Your body was littered with wounds and blood. You've ripped off your uniform's torso, showing a blood-stained bandage wrapped around your breasts. Gashes made by the demon were slowing you down up to the point where you couldn't swing your sword anymore.

"How foolish." he starts. "Your Breath of Blood will kill you. I can just wait here as you die from blood loss, you know."

You smirk. You shouldn't be underestimated. You spent two years shaping and creating a body immune to such threats like that. You can go for another 10 hours or more, if limitations didn't exist, of course. You were only human. You may be weak for a pillar at the time, but you'll get stronger. You have to. You might lose this battle, but you refuse to die.

Win or lose, you will abstain yourself from passing out. You won't die. Not yet.

"But then the sun will rise soon, and I should have a feast. A feast fit for a fine artist such as myself."

He attacks you, you dodge barely. He was taken aback at the fact that you can still move. He keeos attacking, and you just kept dodging until you were finally worn out.

He takes notice as a sinister smile becomes visible on his features. Just when his attack was about to land a blow on you, you felt broad arms wrap around you as you were taken away.

"Didn't I tell you to always inform me of your missions?" You start to tear up. You see Tengen's irked and perturbed expression. He was able to snatch your haori and covers you with the clothing. As he was about to stand, you clutch unto him. He just smiles that reassuring smile. "I'll be back with the same flamboyance." he winks.

As he starts fighting in your stead, you watch him with anxiety bubbling in your chest. As you watch him, you found out what was missing. Even if it was just for a day, just for a few hours, what was missing in your life was Tengen. Now that he's come into your life, he can't come out. You need him. You can't die yet. You still want to spend your life with him. He doesn't have to feel the same way, as long as he's alive and well.

~

The demon cussed under his breath in frustration and was able to escape just before the sun's rays hit him. Tengen quickly ran to you to see if you're still breathing. Fortunately, you were alive as you gave him a smile.

"[Y/N]..." he whispers as he carries you. He starts walking. "...don't scare me like that."

All you could do was hum in response, your eyes closed and just fully giving in to his warmth.

"Don't be stubborn next time and tell me when you'll go on a mission. I can't breathe easy knowing that my girl is out there cutting herself to kill a demon."

You open your eyes in surprise. "'My girl'...?"

He smiles slightly. "Mhm. Whether you feel the same or not, you're my girl and no one else's right now. You're the most valuable to me in my life. And if someone steals you from me..."

He gives it a thought. "...he has to be way better than me in every way so I have to approve, 'kay?"

You giggle lightly and snuggled against him. You didn't need to say anything to tell him that you also feel the same way, as he can hear your heart beating solely for him.

Tengen watches your sleeping face. He felt truly blessed as something as precious as your heart was beating for him. His heart was beating for you as well.

As if blessing your new-found love, the sun's blinding rays followed both of you walking home, feeling safe and secured and valued with each other.

[eberles]

i hate u, i love u

Rafe Cameron

(gif by @toesure :)

Request: A Rafe fic based on the song “I hate u, I love you” by gnash (ft Olivia O’Brien) PLEASE MAJOR RAFE VIBES 🥺💖 @fav-imagines

A/N: I wanted to cry writing this lol idk why but it hit me right in the feels!! it’s kind of all over the place, if anyone is confused by, don’t worry bc i am too!!!! lol anyways enjoy!! (this is probably the first thing ive ever written that goes with rafe’s character) bold = lyrics, italics = flashbacks

Warnings: angst, mentions of drugs, cheating, lying, toxic relationship, swearing

feelin used, but im still missin you and i cant see the end of it just wanna feel your kiss against my lips and now all this time is passing by, but i still cant seem to tell you why it hurts me every time i see you, realize how much i need you

I’ve spent months sitting in my room staring at the ceiling, and at the walls. I did a full Bella Swan from New Moon and let 3 months go by without being present for any of them. I didn’t care honestly...Even after spending all that time alone, i’m not still not healed from the heartache that was caused by him. I still miss him, his scent, his kisses, his clothes, everything. Rafe.

I went out once and he was the last person I wanted or planned to see, but of course, he was the only person I actually saw. Sure, there were other people around, but none of them mattered. Everyone else felt greyed out except for him. He was the only light I could see in those short moments. Everything felt like it was moving in slow motion, my breath hitched in my throat and it felt like there was no air left to breathe.

After months it still hurts to see him again. It hurts because I realized I still need him even after everything. I hate him. So why do I love him? The feeling of him being the only one I want, the one nobody could ever replace...it’s overwhelming and I can’t seem to shake it. But me? He replaced. It looked like it was easy from my point of view. He needed her, wanted her, and i’m not her.

i miss you when i can’t sleep or right after coffee or right when i can’t eat, i miss you in my front seat, still got sand in my sweaters from nights we don’t remember. do you miss me like i miss you? fucked around and got attached to you.

My head was consumed on thoughts of you. It was constant. Like the leaky faucet in the bathroom or the loose floorboard. Always running, always broken. I miss you. Maybe you’ll come around, but for now...I wish you were here instead. When it’s late and I can’t sleep, I think about you. When it’s early and I can’t eat, I think about you.

“Where are we going?” you giggled excitedly, grabbing my hand from across the console in my truck.

“Shh, I told you it’s a surprise baby, we’re almost there anyways.” I laughed at her giggling like a kid, she had so much excitement in her eyes. She was always ready for anything, even if it was 2 in the morning and I love that about her. I love everything about her.

“Ugh fine!” she groaned dramatically and rolled her eyes in a full circle looking up at the ceiling. “Why are we at the beach?” you didn’t even give me enough time to answer before jumping out of the truck and running towards the sand laughing the entire way to the water. Once I caught up with you, I grabbed your hands and pulled you close into my chest, kissing your forehead. When we broke apart I laid down a few blankets on the sand, noticing you were cold, I also gave you my sweater.

We stared at the stars and talked about anything and everything for hours. It felt magical. We stayed until the sun came up, watching the sunset before driving back to my house for some much needed rest.

Walking over to my closet, curious to know if that same sweater ended up back in my closet after that night. I reached in, digging around not finding anything and decided to look in my dresser instead. Of course, it was folded neatly in the drawer you used to call yours. Grabbing and shaking it out I noticed the light pieces of sand that fell from it. I brought it in to my nose wondering if it still smelt like your perfume. It did. I’m always tired lately, but never of you. Do you miss me too?

if i pulled a you on you, you wouldn’t like that shit, i put this reel out, but you wouldn’t bite that shit. i type a text then i never mind that shit, i got these feelings, but you never mind that shit. you’re still in love with me but your friends don’t know.

To Y/N: i wanna talk, i think...maybe i miss y-

*delete*

To Rafe: I miss you so much, it hurt someti-

*delete*

“Y/N...what’s going on? You’re off in never never land! Do you still miss him?” Kiara asked, gently shaking my knee to gain my attention back to the group. I looked at her and around at the rest of the pogues and put a smile on my face, shaking my head.

“Of course not, it’s been months! I’m so over him, guys. Besides even if I did, it wouldn’t matter.” I tried so hard to sound confident. I hope they bought it. Of fucking course, I miss Rafe. I’m still in love with him for gods sake. I hate that I want him.

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Sure, i’ve moved on, but I think about y/n, just about everyday. I guess for me, moving on is finding someone new, but not actually wanting anyone new. I just couldn’t bare to be alone anymore with my thoughts. I deserve better than that, personally.

“Anyways Topper, if y/n wanted me still, she would say so right?” I looked at Topper, silently hoping he would lie to me, just tell me what I want to hear, man. “If I were her, I would’ve never let me go. She’s missing out.”

“Hell yea, dude! That’s the right attitude.” Topper said, jumping up to high five me. Of course, that was the statement he was on board with. I hate that I want you.

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I haven’t been to a party in months, Kiara and Sarah thought that this would be the most fitting post-break up activity for me. Maybe meet a new guy or something. I tuned out when they were telling me about it and just agreed. What I neglected to listen to, was that it was a kook party. So now, i’m at a party alone, since my friends ditched me to dance with each other. And on top of that, I watch him watch her, like she’s the only girl he’s ever seen.

It took less than an hour of being at this party for us to end up in a room alone together.

“You don’t care! You never did!” Rafe shouted, running his hands through his hair, clearly exasperated with this conversation. I don’t even know how it started. One minute I was watching him with another girl, and the next he was hauling me off, away from everyone.

“You don’t give a damn about me, Rafe! How is it you never notice that you’re slowly killing me?” you wanted to yell back at him, to scream at him for putting you through this again, but you couldn’t. He didn’t say anything in return so you continued, “I hate you, and I hate that I love you, Rafe.” I’ve tried to move on, but even the simple thought of dating anyone but him, makes me physically ill. Why does it have to be like this?

“I don’t mean no harm, I just miss you on my arm, babe. Do you ever wonder what we could’ve been y/n?” He’s taunting me by asking dumb questions, as if I wanted this to happen, as if i’m the cause of all of this. Rafe’s the one that was closed off, not me. Of course, he switches the stories and i’m sure everyone at this damn party thinks I left him heart broken.

“You have a girlfriend, why are you even asking me that?” I was starting to get angry, I felt like he was toying with me.

He’s laughing. Of fucking course, he’s laughing at me. This is all one big fucking joke to him. “Lie to me, lie with me, get your fucking fix. Isn’t that what you always told your friends Rafe?” I was furious, how could he act that way after everything? He’s still a child though, that will never change.

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You were right. I did lie to you, multiple times. About where I was, who I was with, what I was doing. I didn’t want you to know I was such a fuck up. You didn’t deserve the pain of finding out I was lying and cheating and drugging. You did anyways though. Now all my drinks and all my feelings are all fucking mixed.

“Rafe! Come dance with me!” I downed the rest of my drink before throwing the glass down and walking away from the new girl I was seeing. I didn’t care anymore.

I don’t want you, Y/N. I shouldn’t fucking miss you. I don’t deserve to! Seeing you again is such bullshit. If you wouldn’t have shown up here, I wouldn’t have said those things to you. Sometimes you gotta burn some bridges, just to create some distance. You didn’t deserve that, I knew it, but at least now you might learn your lesson and stay away. It’s for the best, right?

I hate that I love her, but I can’t put nobody else above her.

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I wasn’t sure if I had the closure I needed, but after that particular conversation with Rafe I felt a little better. I returned to the party with my head held high and danced with my friends. I hoped he was watching me too since i’m not sure what he was trying to do by joking around at my expense. But maybe if he thinks it didn’t bother me he will know how it fucking feels. 

I learned from my dad that it’s good to have feelings when love and trust is gone. I guess this is moving on. I hate you, I love you.

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[literameera]

White Sails

2433 words

The oceans going to swallow him whole some day and only then could he die happy.

Caspian already gave his soul to the sea, his first great love. Initially I was excited for him and how he got to live out his dreams. He’d write to me about his exploits, I’d gasp and laugh when appropriate, as if he can see, and finally when the stories ended, I’d write to say that I’ve been living the same way: wake up, work, eat, sleep and mostly anticipate. He’d tease that I live like a widow refusing to believe her husband's dead, wasting away staring out the window, hoping for him to someday return to her. Like the ship of Theseus every time he left a part of him had been replaced, how long has he been a man I couldn't recognise, a ghost wearing my lover’s skin.

Only the wooden planks stepped on by Theseus himself belong to the original ship, the rest are imposters high off the glory of His name. Your skin cells regenerate every twenty-seven days – and it’s been longer than that since my hands held his, the wind already swept all memories of my words from his mind. He can only belong to one and she’s infinitely larger than me. To him, her cold embrace feels like coming home. It’s selfish – I’d remind myself – selfish to want to steal what makes him happy all because I feel lonely, he’s loved the ocean long before he’s loved me, and he will long after. I can only hope she’s kind when she does finally take him. I’ve heard that saltwater burns your lungs and that a body only sinks for a moment and as it fills with water it floats to the top, I don’t want them to find his body, he wouldn’t want them to either. I hope his clothes weigh him down and 80% becomes all of him, that he sinks to Atlantis and the sun never feels him again, we don’t deserve it.

But then he comes home, the wind in his hair, salt clinging to his skin and horribly chapped lips, he kisses me hello and I get a taste of what he feels. He tells me he’s missed the warm water from the shower while I wash his locks, that his land legs haven’t grown back yet so can I hold on just a little tighter ‘to make sure I don’t fall of course’. I tell him our neighbours' gossip and he laugh and gasps when appropriate and says that he’s missed the shop at the end of the street, in the morning he’ll grab groceries and those chocolates he’s loved since he was a kid, and some things never change. When it’s quiet and we lull we watch the sun set, sitting on a linoleum countertop in the kitchen, he glows orange in its light and tells me he’s missed me.

When a whale dies its body sinks to the benthic zone, there where there’s no sun, no blood, no heat, no me, or him the oceans creatures eat on its flesh, their entire life's sustenance reliant on an animal they’ve never seen alive and blobfish get their namesake feature from the rapid shift in pressure, they essentially burst while being pulled up by fishermen. The universe is kept spinning by forces we don’t know and can’t name and one day the sun could burst, and we wouldn’t know until 8 minutes later when its light should touch us and won’t. But it did that day, the light travelled through a solar system to shine on him, and shine on me, and that’s how we met. It was fate. Eight years later it’s still fate when Caspian wakes up beside me, his skin a warm brown, like the terracotta pots he brings back to accommodate my ever-growing garden, and his tousled hair a sun-bleached orange, the roots betray their natural umber colour (the same as the eyes he was currently hiding behind tired palms), men like him are born out of stardust, and they can’t help but to replicate its heat. He’s looking at me now, his warm hands place a stray strand of my own umber hair behind my ear and pauses on my cheek, my bronze skin a slight contrast to his, brown eyes reflecting brown.

‘Let’s go over the plan, alright Leya?’ He breaks the silence, ‘we’ll lock up, give the keys to Theo and Honora, they promised to water our plants and dust the place while we’re gone, we pick up your jumper from the market –Eilidh promised it’ll be done by then- and then it’s me, you and wherever you can land your finger on a map.’

‘Yeah, I can’t wait. Me, you and The Caspian’ the smile I give him falters and my bottom lip trembles. He frowns.

It was my idea to come with him, I was tired of being alone and he was tired of forgetting synonyms of vast for his letters home, I knew he exhausted all the ways to say I love you when he started to transcript theology to me:

‘They believe that next to Christ, that’s what they call him, there was a man that lived in sin, two in fact but only one of them matters. They don’t know anything about this man, not even his name, except for his last words. And they were that of forgiveness and salvation. A man whose entire history is left out of the book that chronicles it. We know nothing of his home, his family, his life, not even his crimes, but we know that he loved and was loved in return. I don’t believe a lick of it but by God these people are good storytellers.’

I did want to go. Maybe the second I see the flickering reflected crescent moon on the ocean waves I’d decide I never wanted to leave, that the past 25 years of living and four years waiting can all be justified by that one experience. But I also couldn’t just leave. He was the one with adventures and loose ties and sea salt, and I’m the one that waits. The diligent partner with a cup of tea and open arms for him, who were we if not that? Who am I without anticipation and loneliness? For years, my life was contingent on feeling and watching a ticking clock, and now I just get to be free? It doesn’t sound real. It doesn’t sound fair on the woman I used to be, the one still waiting. He knows how I feel, he must, from the furrow of an eyebrow I know he’s got me pegged.

‘Remember the night before I left- the first time that is- and I kept going over lists, obligations and checking everything twice, I even meal prepped your food for months in advance. And you told me everything will still be here when I get back...’ He pauses to hold my face in both hands, brown eyes locked on brown eyes to make sure I was listening, ‘everything will still be here when we get back. If you don’t want to go that’s fine, we won’t, I’ll spend the next six months right here with you, and every day after that if you want me to. I’m tired of you being alone. But if you do want to go... We lock up, see the world and come back, it’s that easy.’ With that he kisses my temple -the most delicate part of the head – and climbs out of bed.

Honora and Theo promised to give all the leftover perishable foods to the family around the corner, they have seven kids and not enough to feed them all. They also ensured once a week every plant will be watered, all letters brought in, and the surfaces periodically dusted. The jumper Eilidh had made was beautiful, she told us wool is preferable when wet because it resists water and keeps you warm. She made it green, in case I miss the trees, and Caspian paid her double. I had hoped the air would be electric, brimming with something, as if it knew I’m leaving this time too. Everything was the same, same as it's always been and same as it always will. And I won’t be, I’ll go out there, replace my ships planks and come back me, but not wholly or maybe as more, and if Caspian’s with me the whole time who would notice the change, all of my red strings connect back to his.

It was half a day's journey to the port, and I felt it all. At some point my head was pulled to rest on his shoulder and every time the sun shone particularly bright he held a hand over my eyes to shield them. When we were close to enough to the sea to smell it, the briny tang light in the air, he came into himself, as if he swallowed sunlight, and grinned.

I hate this. Caspian told me I will at first, I haven’t got the familial love he has. A runaway father that was only 19 when he met his future wife at the port. The family was forcibly moved to a landlocked town when opportunities dimmed and Caspian's childhood was spending every holiday possible making the hours long treks to the beach, with just enough time to wiggle his toes in the sand and swallow lungsful of water when learning to swim, and when he was older it was learning how to sail with his father. Finally, it’d get too cold to continue so his mother would swaddle him in towels and place him on her lap, until he eventually grew too big for her, together they’d watch the sun set. He told me once that it was like the water was just a mirror and everything radiated pink and orange and golden hues until finally... darkness, and there was twice as many stars as usual. Then they’d go home and count down till the next summer. His love was intergenerational, it’ll grow on you, trust me. But it won’t, I hate this. I feel sick & disoriented, it’s too loud and quiet at the same time. Like when people move from a bustling city, heavy in smog and movement, to a quaint village, and there they find the crickets and pollen too much to bear. There was none of the sounds I was accustomed to and all too many of ones I wasn’t. I can’t even swim.

How did we plan for weeks and not think that I would need to know how to swim?

Caspian had finished prepping the sails and letting us go in the wind's direction, promising he’ll take us as far East as he can find – and then carry on. He had tried to explain all the terms to me, but words like ‘jib’ and ‘hull’ and ‘tiller’ easily slipped out of my mind like water. Instead, I stood by the helm and just watched him work, focusing on the beads of sweat running down his forehead and pushing supper down as far deep as it goes, as to not ruin this for him. When he had finished, he gave me the tour, showing me the saloon, where to cook, where to rest, where to pray, how to store in such a small space and when I was overwhelmingly exhausted from the information swimming in my head, he grabbed some pillows and blankets and led me back to the cockpit. There he prepped everything like it was our bed at home and laid down, gently pulling me down with him, our knees were bent awkwardly, and we were closer together than usual. That’s when I understood When I was younger my mother would bring me to visit her friends and after the initial gasps and hugs and ‘my how you’ve grown!’ they would largely ignore me to talk to each other. One of her friends, Mariam, had a baby boy that would sleep in a wooden bassinet pushed to the wall closest to where I was sitting, when he did stir, they’d finally address me again and tell me to rock him slightly, let him be lulled back to rest. Here, we were lightly rocked side to side by Poseidon himself and entire galaxies shining down on us, like a sleeping baby in a bassinet. I didn’t know there could be so many stars and still such a vast darkness. Caspian told me about the constellations he knows and the ones he’s made up, his own mythologies mapped out above us. And when I was too tired to listen, eyes drooping and his words bleeding into each other he tenderly held my elbow to help me up, shifting so I could rest my weight on him, and walked me to the bed, trying as best he could to push my dead weight into the cramped space. Leaving only for a moment to bring the pillows back in, before climbing into bed besides me.

The next morning, we stopped on still waters, and he taught me how to swim. In the afternoons, after I showed him my grandmothers' recipes for the cold, he tried to teach me more sailing terms and by the evening I’d read to him under the dimming light, I’d have to stop after a moment, too nauseous to read the words. It was a routine we near perfected in a month. I could tell he was happy; he was drowning in it. Shockingly, I was too, a saloon that smelled like garlic and spice, secured down potted herbs, dry storage spaces filled to the brim with my books, and his slow breaths when I should be asleep, was enough. On days the wind was too bad to pause he’d make me use the knots he taught me and shout what I need to do if we tip over, the exhilaration was more than anything I’d ever known.

Resources would run low, and he’d dock in the port of a country I'd never heard of, a culture unfamiliar and language unknown. With limited communication and lots of points & smiles we’d buy what we need and when our food was restocked, I’d ask to stay a few days more. We’d integrate ourselves in the local community and learn how to say ‘hello’ and ‘thank you’ and plan to return in the holiday season. We’d make pocket communities across the world and relish in hot water and write letters to the people back home.