#except for the whole unreality thing… that sucks

[gloriousmonsters]

the thing about shittily written ya/romantasy/probably more books but they're the most new books i keep reading 5 pages of out of horrified curiosity, is that it's not just the characters being bland and the writing being serviceable at best and the plot being ehh and the romance instant and unappealing. it's that the authors so often seem unacquainted with the most basic facts of reality, or approach everything with a lackadaisical imprecision that makes the world feel vague and unreal. Rant under cut bc it got long slifdjf

Literally just glanced at a book sample where the main character is told to fetch 'a youngling hare' and proceeds to fetch a rabbit kit, which is described as so small the main character easily holds it in one hand but is apparently old enough to wildly hop around and scream two minutes later. We're told she kneels down on a paver a specific distance away but not what the wider environment looks like, except that it's a courtyard with like. tons of shrines and benches just kind of standing around. A snake in that scene is asleep, then instantly wakes up and goes to attack the rabbit, then after it attacks the main character it's 'coiled on the ground dead or asleep' 3 seconds later which like, you can't tell the difference between dead and asleep? why not pick one? why do you think it could have fallen asleep in three seconds while someone was screaming bloody murder? Also the main character is sad she can't do magic (which stems from her mommy instincts i mean compassion and according to reviews is unlocked by getting dicked down later in the book) because 'there aren't many roles for noble girls' and this means she HAS to become. a maidservant. the entire servant staff of her magic school slash convent is apparently made of failed students and no rich family has ever had a problem with this. that's more poorly done human behavior but i had to shout it out.

Or for a real doozy, one of my pinnacle-of-poor-grasps-of-reality reference points induces such questions as, 'Has the author ever seen a cat? In person?', 'Does the author know you need to feed cats?', 'Does the author know you don't check a cat's pulse in its wrist if you find it dead?', 'Does the author know that clay isn't a rock and you don't chisel it to make sculptures?', 'Why doesn't the author know what brownstone is and instead persistently describes it as 'reddish-brown stone' one million times?', 'Does the author think you naturally only get one type of tree in a forest?', 'Does the author know that towns exist in locations for a reason?', 'Does the author know you develop muscle if you train with a sword every day?', 'Does the author know you can't train yourself in the sword based on vibes and need either a teacher or like, a youtube tutorial at least?'

and it takes so. little. effort. to have your books feel in vague contact with reality, or just have some specific details. Google sucks but even now you could find out that a hare isn't a rabbit from it, and there's plenty of other free search engines. You can think 'there's all those houses with a specific color of stone in New York state, what's that called?', or search 'common trees in new york' in order to throw like, three varieties in. You can spend two sentences saying 'the convent is huge, it feels like the whole world. Even the front courtyard houses two dozen shrines with narrow paths between them; if you didn't look around to see the massive bulk of the main building against the sky, you'd forget you weren't in a town.' (Also, explain why the courtyard is full of shit when courtyards are usually open stretches of ground, please and thank you, or use a different word. And explain why if there's one goddess you have 90 shrines, are they all single-person and there's a time everyone needs to pray at once? alone???)

Read one book on whatever time or location you're basing your shit off. Find a small town in the real world and use it's population, presence and historical reason for being settled and remaining populated as inspiration for your fictional small town. I feel like when I read something that's praised for rich worldbuilding they're very often just ripping off a specific country or time period (done well or badly) because something being kinda based off reality feels vivid compared to a kingdom where the important people consist of three noble families if you're lucky and a single, sibling-less monarch who presumably does Something since there's no other people in the government but never seems busy, or a small town which maintains a full police force with a sheriff and has a mayor but appears to have one, maybe two streets and the population of a hamlet. NAME A BIRD. no, that's not enough, NAME TWO BIRDS. give the main character a favorite food and then spend 5 minutes thinking about where that food originated. you do not need to be Tolkien but people need to have jobs that aren't solely those represented in the opening number of Beauty and the Beast. we can't all be booksellers and bakers and nobody is capable of being gaston.

this will naturally lead to improving your characters somewhat and your plot, because you have a framework for where both of them exist. it can't help you with your shit romance, though, you need to go on a pilgrimage to the cursed western mountain for that

[peachdoxie]

Thoughts on Wind and Truth, chapters 7-9 (whoa, three whole chapters!)

They brought the horse. They literally brought the storming horse. With Adolin riding it.

lmao

“No,” she said. “People stop thinking about them. They fade away after centuries… to be lost. Their sword vanishes from your world, and they wander forever.”

Well, that's sad but consistent with Realmatics, I guess. Hopefully they can fix things....

Ishnah: short, not particularly curvaceous, and with a striking tendency to use her Lightweaving to give herself edgy tattoos and black fingernails.

c'mon Shallan, step up your game. Give yourself edgy tattoos and black fingernails!

But then she thought back to a moment at the Battle of Thaylen Field where she could have sworn she’d felt the illusory versions of Radiant and Veil as if they were briefly real. It wasn’t the only time, was it? When one of her illusions had been a little too solid?

Yes, finally, this comes back! Also I'm unsure what the last sentence is referencing, if it's supposed to be calling back to something or foreshadowing to the rest of Shallan's Mysterious Past, or maybe both.

So she hugged him.

Kelek has probably needed this hug for several millennia

Yes, a rock. Dull brown. Huh. “Oh, sorry!” Leyten said. “I didn’t put that in there.” He reached for it, but Kaladin slipped it back in.

Can't wait to find out more about mysterious rocks showing up in places.

“Lusintia,” Syl said. “She’s an absolute bore. No fun at all. I didn’t expect her to join us.”

fucking foreshadowing in chapter 5 when Shallan couldn't find Lusintia. Anyway. GOOD FOR DABBID!!!!!!!!!

She sucked up the Stormlight Lashing her in place. Then, with nothing holding her up, she dropped to the beads after Adolin.

Huh. That's new. I don't think we've seen someone use a Lashing for Stormlight except the person who made it. I wonder if there's Identity fuckery going on with Shallan's "Be. Drehy" thought the line before.

All agree the first key moment came when Kaladin Stormblessed listened. Though not an Edgedancer, he did a fine impression of their oaths.

Confirming Kaladin is NOT the author of Knights of Wind and Truth and also yay, Kaladin listening!

One solemnityspren—rare indeed—spiraled up around him, like an almost invisible grey-blue serpent.

First gloomspren and now solemnity spren. Kaladin just loves attracting weird spren. No offense intended to Syl.

My brothers and sisters are mad from so long with life, but I am sane because I bathe in the blood of Radiants, which renews me.

This is definitely something a sane person would say.

“Afraid of everything,” she continued. “Terrified. Of the world. Of what might happen to my family. Most of all, of myself. I always have been.”

It's interesting to me that we now get a more full explanation of Shallan's Second Ideal, which shows that she's gone through some nice character development to be able to admit that she's afraid of herself.

Radiant formed behind the Heavenly One, made of Stormlight, her head nearly brushing the roof. A Radiant, as Shallan imagined her. Taller than Shallan, stronger, with powerful biceps and a thick neck from extensive training. Hair in a braid, rather than Shallan’s messy, fraying bun. Strong—of a different genre of strength than Shallan—with a Shardblade in hand. Abidi the Monarch laughed. “An illusion?” he said. “You think I’ll be distracted by something unreal?” He continued laughing until the Shardblade speared him from behind, spilling orange blood on his fine white outfit.

GET FUCKED

“Reality,” Shallan hissed, “is what I decide it to be.”

Go Shallan! This is also a terrifying statement!

[angelsinthejungle]

7 minutes in heaven with Iñaki

☁️ fluffy smutty ☁️

🤪 My wording can be garbage but the concept’s there I think. it’s just straight to the point. This the kinda stuff I tell only to my diary 😅 I can’t get over this boy ❤︎ ugh. Read more smut

Purple Italicized : readers inner thoughts

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷♡ ♡ ♡

It’s your second day on the job working for a partner company. You go to a big company event and then were invited to their after party. You arrive with your boss and walk up to a crowd. Iñaki is there. They are spinning bottles in groups of people. Your boss asks you to go grab her a drink and find her at a table.

You manage to grab her drink from the bar and see her done-up ponytail sitting not far. As you arrive back and scooch between your boss and the person sitting next to her a spinning bottle lands directly on you. 

You look to your boss. “Wha— are we playing?” “Go, go on,” your boss says as she snatches her drink and starts sucking it down. “Wha? Me? With who?” Iñaki stands up slowly and curiously. You turn red immediately and the whole room sees. “Aha, look at her!” Somebody points and taunts out. “Stop it.” Iñaki nudges them. 

He walks over to you, “C’mere” and grabs your hand introducing himself with his upbeat attitude. You know his name obviously, but go along and introduce yourself to him. He guides you to the coat closet. It’s a little walk away. You feel like you’re dissociating or imagining this. This seems so unreal. Thoughts race and doubts creep in. Surely he’ll just want to talk in there? He has no idea who I am. What if he doesn’t even find me attractive? 

The place is wooden and warm, the closet is small and crammed. You two stand in facing each other. Someone shuts the door. It’s dark in there except a few cracks under the door lighting enough to illuminate his dark eyes. They bang on the door, ☁️“7 minutes… starting…now!”☁️ Your pupils widen!

Goosebumps spread over your body. “Hey no pressure, let’s just see where things take us.” Iñaki says smoothly. You catch eye contact and both blush sharing an awkward moment. You’re hearing a few ambient noises from the tables of people outside. He lifts his arm and scratches his head, “Umm—” You both go to speak at the same time cutting each other’s words off. “No, no, you go!”

Come on Y/n, be bold! “Ca— can I kiss you?” Your eyes shimmer, full of anticipation and desire. “Yes,” he softly whispers; his eyes widen slightly in surprise as you immediately take the initiative, kissing his plushy lips in the darkness of the closet. 

Lightly, you trail up to his neck and grip squeezing the sides, making him light headed mixed with a rush of oxytocin. You grab his curly hair and pull. You’re full on making out. He tastes fruity, probably from some candy he ate earlier. Hands all over one another, you two are so close together the crammed closet suddenly feels spacious.

You pull away tugging his lip with your teeth. Your foreheads are touching. He can feel the lingering warmth of your breath against his lips still. He's panting like a puppy and you’re in heat, a delightful burning through your whole body. Fuck, ’m turned on. But you're chill, you play it cool.

You reach down his pants. He grabs your hand. “I— shouldn’t, uhh,” he whispers. His words are a plea, a desperate attempt to regain his composure but he didn’t tell you to stop. The conflict within him intensifies, torn between succumbing to the pleasure or maintaining control. So aroused and antsy, he caves.

Forgetting his worries he lets go of your hand. You kiss him passionately as you slide your hand down his sweatpants. ♥️ You feel him outside his boxers, rock hard, so thick and warm. God, he’s so turned on which makes your cunt drip. You grasp onto his dick making him huff out and lean into your shoulder for stability. His body tenses as you continue to push his blurry boundaries. 

"Y— you certainly know how... to test the limits…” he moans and blushes. The struggle is evident in his eyes. Your response is to continue kissing and nibbling his neck and cheeks feverishly.

His hands start to skim under your blouse. Searching and exploring your waist up to your tits. He grabs and starts squeezing— it makes him close his eyes and moan out. “Awwh,” Nuzzling into your neck shyly enjoying how your breasts feel in his scooped hands; how your nipples harden as he brushes over them. He’s fuming in pleasure! This closets’ on fucking fire. He’s so sexy giving himself to me like this.

He lets out an “Ooh!” as you shift to directly inside his underwear and grab his hard leaking cock. You pull down his pants just enough for it to spring out causing him to mewl vulnerably in your ear. The laughter and chatter of the people outside cover up his moans. You feel a hint of worry wondering how much time has passed?

Your hand is smothering and tugging his cock. Precum seeps out his swollen head, making it soooo slippery, it’s just as wet as between your tongues. You two are lip locked as you jerk him off. It feels sensational. Your edging sends waves of frustration and eagerness coursing through him making his eyes water. His pleasure reaching new heights. His grip on your shoulders tightening involuntarily.

He’s drooling and moaning into your mouth in the most intimate way. His breaths become quicker in between you kissing. He moans louder, desperately in enjoyment, “Aww Y/N awwh” Your other hand quickly grabbing the coat behind you to cover your shirt, “Yes baby, cum f’me Iñaki.”

When he cums he instinctually pushes his pelvis forward, you see his hot body squirm, releasing his orgasm. He cums and there’s a lot! It’s so creamy, warm and slippery. He then buries his curly haired head into your shoulder and starts groaning and kissing you needly. 

You keep tugging focusing on the tip, you’re high off his orgasm. His body shaking “whoa, awwh” and moaning in shock at how you’re making him feel. He looks up at you making eye contact completely bashful and vulnerable. He’s such a sweet baby boy, it’s so hott seeing him like this.

You feel kinda bad for using whomever’s jacket that was as a cum towel, sigh, woops. Your intimate moment is interrupted when you hear footsteps! Your hearts racing as you quickly get dressed and fix yourselves! Then someone swings the door open only to see you two posing nonchalant. But you’re still unable to cover that wide sly smile crossing your face in devious delight.

He pops out the closet and you follow. “I’ll see ya around.” He looks at you and blushes, then waves. The crowd of people giggling quietly while watching you two part, contemplating if you’d done anything in there. You cannot believe what just happened and you plan on telling not a soul. You walk over to your boss who’s already almost hammered and busy jabbering away at some people. She looks at you and laughs handing you her empty glass, “another please.” As you walk across to the bar you have flashbacks of Iñaki—  his body, dick, and lips, take over your minds eye keeping a ditsy smile on your face. Whoa, what a night.  

-angelsinthejungle 🫣💋 xnorwoodx

[legend-the-dumb-jock]

Oink! I loved your last post about replacing addiction to cigarettes by addiction to stinky male feet! Oink! Thats very, very hot!

Im already your obese, hairy and stinky pig with tiny co*ck but i would wish to feel more humiliation, if thats possible. To feel painful adfoction, to be stuck doing humiliating things such as serving stinky male feet or sweaty armpits unable to stop! Oink! Maybe i will find myself unable to wear any cloth except tight uncomfortable thong or i will find myself getting addicted to wearing a chastity but having painfully blue balls and only dreaming about relief? Oink! The more humiliating it will be, the better it would be for me! Oink oink!

And again, thank you for your posts! Oink!

You type your message in your phone. You thought being this far hairy beast was going to be enough but still your tiny member craves more. You need to….humiliation… addiction. You phone falls from your hands as intense orgasm shoots though your fat body. You moan in ecstasy as you’re sitting on the couch. Sitting in your own sweat. Your stomach is so tight from already you’ve wished on yourself. You rub it moaning. And that’s when you feel it. Looking though sexual bliss you see your stomach…. Get rounder. Blowing up a little more than before. Hairy getting thicker as more sweat begins to pull. The smell of your fat body gets even worse as it’s kicked into high gear. You struggle to to get up but find that you can’t. As if there are invisible hands on your body you are forced to a new stance being on all fours. You massive gut touching the floor as your manage to crawl about oinking like a proper pig. That’s when you hear the door open. Kicking your fat head up you manage to see a man. Beautiful. Nothing like you have ever seen looking down at you as he shuts the door. “My my the piggy is already ready for me!” You squee uncontrollably. English now being a second language to your natural tongue of pig. You see him take off his shoes and the smell hits your snout as something unreal. Something that makes your eyes water. He takes a seat in his chair. you lick the floor the whole way.Picking up each drop of sweat that comes off his meaty souls. When he sits down he flicks on the tv. Props a foot up and snaps his fingers and points to his feet

“Come here pig. I know you want these socks from daddy. Come on. Take a whiff of these large souls”. And he hold a massive foot. Bigger than you have ever seen before. Your pig tongue falls out of your mouth. You can’t help it as the drool begins to spill on the floor. You waddle crawl to him. Your big gut dragging across the floor. And when you get in reach of his sweaty souls he pushes his big meaty foot right in your face. “Breathe in pig. I know you’re addicted to smelling these bad boys”. He coughed a little “whew. They stink. That’s what I get for not washing them for the past month”. You’re eyes are watering as your peel his socks off with with your mouth. “Go on suck the sweat from them. You know I don’t give a pig water.” And you begin sucking the sweat from his sloppy wet sock. You do the other one the same.

On command you begin licking them clean. Tasting every day of the filth he has accumulated on them. You’re in ecstasy. In a trance by his sweaty smelly feet. He puts a large foot in your face and pushes you aside. Pulling his pants down “time to eat pig and he’s right at attention”. You dive for his member and begging to satisfy every massive inch of his 11 inch pile. And when he begins to finish you take in every drop. Your stomach churns and gurgles and you gain another 1/2 pound. He pats you on the head and says “that’s my pig slave. Now that you’ve ate I’m going to have a proper meal”. A belch erupts from you from all the sweat you just drank in. He takes off his sweaty shirt and as if on autopilot you begin to suck his suck from the shirt. Entranced by the musket taste and the stony of filth your covered in. Being a fat pig already you wanted more. You wanted an addiction. Think of yourself as an alcoholic. Only with sweat. You crave it. You need it. Going hang in hand with the juices of man. You’ll need it to stay alive now pig. And as you can tell each time you satisfy your pig urges now you’ll be forced to gain a little weight. Some ounces here. Some ounces there. Bad new for you is that inspired you with a heavy shooter and really stinky sweaty gym bro. The muskiest I could find. So get ready to bulking. You’re going to be growing daily. After all… when you’re a heavy drinker you need it daily too right ? 😈

[hislittleraincloud]

You seriously support Johnny Depp? His situation isnʼt comparable to Percy at all. Percy was unfairly treated and bullied by crazy Jenna stans, he didnʼt do anything wrong and was just a kid when it all went down.

Johnny Depp is an actual abuser and there is lots of evidence for it. His PR team successfully started a smear campaign against Amber on social media and people ran with it.

ETA: I JUST TOLD YOU PEOPLE:

If you didn't watch the trial, I'm not going to argue with you.

If you didn't listen to at least one of the super triggering to me audio files in their entirety (because guess what: the love of my life abused me the same fucking way Amber abused Johnny on those tapes), I'm not going to argue with you.

If you aren't going to read anything from the Hollywood Vampires book and talk about its contents, I'm not going to argue with you.

I did/am doing all of that, because I got sucked into the trial...morbid curiosity, because at first I didn't give a flying fuck about Amber Heard (like when she was all over him/married him, I didn't GAF) but I'd been a Depp fan for a while. The trial and its contents were VERY enlightening.

(And yes, I read the whole of the judge's decision in the UK case, and his decisions in the face of the actual evidence was unreal; some of the Heard items in his decisions were obviously fucked and yet he just shrugged his shoulders and dismissed it as if it didn't count. It was a different trial with different parameters and a judge known to have connections that lead back to Heard.)

Here's a thread with just the mere basics of what we have known since the trial (it's in the book). The thread doesn't seem to acknowledge that we have known these things about Heard for years. We have known that she's HPD, narcissistic and a violent cokehead and drunk even before she ever sank her claws into Depp.

(Link to the description of this incident in the book, which doesn't differ except for being more thorough than this testimony.)

And I was honestly triggered by the audios of their conversations since my ex would also say and do similar fucked up shit to me (I still have the audios of her abuse where she tells me to kill myself because I wouldn't write something academic for her; of when she created a crisis when my friends were visiting because she needed to be the center of attention; of when she said no one would believe me if I ever told someone she was being abusive [since she had Pretty Privilege], etc.). And I would react in a similar fashion to Depp: Attempted avoidance (but she wouldn't stop calling me), drinking & drugs (at the time it was morphine) and the only reactive violence occurring was to inanimate objects like my laptop (R.I.P., when she was grilling me about my friends and accusing me of cheating on her with my ex).

FTR, my mother has HPD. I know she does, because she did and still does the same shit to my father. I can recognize HPD. That was the proper Dx for Amber Heard.

At 27 minutes in, Curry describes the behavior of someone with HPD, and later on in the trial you can see the evidence of it yourself when Heard took the stand and got aggressive with Vasquez🔥. Heard literally proved the doctor correct in her Dx.

I'm not arguing with you, I'm just giving you where I'm coming from on this. I didn't sit around eating PR during the trial. I ate what was presented in court PLUS some, since full ass audios weren't played in court (though they were available from the court website). I sat with Emily D. Baker every day on YouTube, where she was able to break down what was going on for us in layman's terms, even though I'm already familiar with legalese.

Depp v. Heard Trial

Come back to take a dump in my inbox after you've watched it. Have fun.

P.S. There's an asshole greyface in my 📥 who thinks that this hurts me:

I told you, I watched the trial. I also understand how some peoples' brains are slow to adjust to adjectives and pronouns when their visual/audio cues tell them otherwise (and as far as it's known, Johnny knew Io under his former female pronouns). My aunt was like this. She had trouble adjusting to my transition since she knew me pre-transition, and it also depends on disposition/personalities and how they react to something like that. If you think Depp is a transphobe or bigot like you, say it. Because damn, this obsession with harassing me about my gender identity is real fucked.

From the ETA above:

I just fucking told you all I'm not going to entertain you if you watched nothing. IDGAF about Marilyn Manson. I really don't, because he's vile and he abused both Evan Wood and Esmé Bianco (and he had to drop his defamation lawsuit against Wood, it's different).

Come on bruhs, we're not doing this right now. Go watch the goddamn trial.

[skaruresonic]

The idw discourse is so bad, I feel caught in the middle because each time I express how bad the storytelling is, in a new issue or how off model the characters are drawn, idw fans gang up on me. But on the other hand I don't want to be associated with the people who think think it's funny to tweet how Flynn should die or make weird assumptions about Stanley being a bad person ? Like that's weird and cruel. Hate their work not them as people.

I just decided to pretend the comic doesn't exist and it helps lol.

I'm sorry that happened to you. Idk if anyone else will tell you that, but I will, because I know how much it sucks.

One time, I saw a guy on Twitter blame us for his inability to criticize the book in what he believed was a much more "balanced" manner without getting harassed by people.

Digest that for a moment. It's our fault for other people's reaction to us. And instead of rubbing his brain cells together for a moment and questioning the reasons why this knee-jerk reaction occurs, or even reflecting on the fact that it occurs at all and perhaps realizing that the call is coming from inside the house, he fell back on old biases and decided it was the haters who were wrong.

The mental gymnastics on display here are unreal.

In this case, I think people are stumbling into the usual fallacious trap of assuming both sides carry equal weight, and thus believe that defaulting to a position of "neutrality" makes them morally superior somehow.

That's kind of what I hate about this fandom - the utter superciliousness. The rotten shit we as a fandom get up to (and no, being a little snarky in a reblog does not count as harassment) while proclaiming love and light uwu. Be nice to everyone, except those freaks over there.

"Neutrality" is in scare quotes here because it's not true neutrality, but a way of posturing to the in-group that you're not Like Us. As demonstrated by my Twitter-user anecdote, people around here don't want to say anything hater-flavored because it risks intense ostracization. That's why you have people jumping down your throat for presenting even mild criticisms. It'd be pathetic if it weren't so annoying.

I'm not talking about people who let well enough alone. I'm talking about centrists who sneer "both sides are bad," as if by distancing themselves from the situation in a smug manner, they're declaring themselves more enlightened than the rest of us.

Honestly, the other side should be just as insulted, but they're not, because this attitude only helps them in the long run.

In reality, this is more like the fishhook situation centrists have with antis vs. proshippers. Saying "this whole thing is stupid" really only benefits antis because they now have grounds to reply, "Yes, this IS stupid, don't you think proshippers are crazy for being upset at something so trivial?" while conveniently omitting the part where antis routinely send proshippers death threats and other heinous material.

Look at it from this angle: the most concrete harm I have seen their side say they've suffered is a deep discomfort and estrangement from the book. Which, yeah. That sucks. But it's also kinda on you to just click away if it makes you uncomfortable.

On the other hand, I have had legitimate crying fits because of horrible messages I received and have told people multiple times about the anon who mocked my recently-deceased mom. Which, unlike clicking away from a blog, I had no choice but to see sometimes because I was still naive enough to believe people would behave themselves in my inbox. In fact, a mutual were recently discussing our anxieties over retaliation should IDW be cancelled. There's stuff about this that you just don't want to think about because dwelling on it will freak you out.

"Both sides are bad" stings, especially in light of knowing the measures I have taken to walk on eggshells and draw proper boundaries. I literally cannot know if someone in this fandom will consider my explanations harassment and dogpiling, so I try not to reblog with commentary. On the reblogging site.

Reflect on how fucked-up that is, to feel uncomfortable adding a tag to someone's fanart because you're worried they might realize you're One of Them(tm) and shun you on that basis alone.

I won't sit here and say I've always been perfect in my conduct, but at the same time, it's just the infuriating experience of double standards all the way down. Somehow it never occurs to them that if I held them to the same standard they hold me, I could call them all out on intellectual dishonesty for refusing to engage with any of our points no matter how calmly or clearly stated because "lol ur just a hater," and tar them with the same brush as those who sent me death threats.

But ofc, things don't work out like that in the calculus of Le Sonic Discourse. It's just a rotten experience to the core.

[spikesgeliebte]

Teaser - White Rose Saga Part 7

Okay, my next part of the White Rose Saga is taking a little longer. Sorry about that. I never thought it would take me longer than half a year. But now we're where we are and I've finished at least the first half. As usual, I want to finish writing everything before I publish the single chapters. Maybe I'm already too mentally stuck in the final, but we need this part to get there in the first place. so stay tuned and enjoy this little teaser :) there are two short sections from different chapters

Part 7 - Your time has come to be replaced

Aria buried her face in her hands and groaned. “Why can’t things ever just go smoothly with you guys? It’s always some kind of drama.”

Dean laughed. “Trust me, I’d rather have it any other way too. But we did it. We got Mom back, and Jack.” Then he leaned in close, his face just inches from hers. She could feel his breath on her skin. “And I’m back with you,” he whispered.

A shiver ran down her spine, and for a moment, she almost let herself get swept away by his charm and that deep baritone voice of his. But she pulled back, giving him a look of disbelief. “You’ve gotta be kidding me if you think I’m gonna sleep with you while there are fifty other random people out there. And your mom, for crying out loud!”

She stood up, smoothing out the wrinkles in her dress. “I think I’d better head back before someone comes looking for me. I was in the middle of a tea ceremony when I came here. And you’re alive, obviously doing just fine, so—”

“Ari?” Dean had gotten up from the bed and took a step toward her. “Can I call you later?”

Her expression softened all at once, and she nodded. “Anytime.” And just like that, she was gone.

What she didn’t know was that this would be their last phone call for a very, very long time.

***

Without warning, the world around Aria exploded. No sound, no light, just a sudden, brutal cut that yanked her out of the unreality of the dream. She gasped loudly, sucking in air like someone who’d just been pulled underwater, and her eyes flew open. Cold water soaked into every fiber of her body, and she flailed wildly. Her arms hit the edge of the freestanding tub, her feet slipped underwater as she tried to sit up.

“Aria, calm down! You’re safe!” Cas’ voice was steady but tense.

But Aria didn’t hear anything except the pounding of her own heartbeat, drumming in her ears like a war beat. She pushed herself up with the last of her strength, managed to climb over the edge of the tub, and landed hard on the cold tiles, her shoulder taking the brunt of the fall as the cold water spread out in a puddle around her.

“Aria!” Dean was by her side in an instant. His tone was sharp—no panic, just determination. In one smooth motion, he knelt beside her and put a hand on her arm to steady her. His touch was firm, a solid anchor, but not rough.

“Hey, you with us?” His voice was deeper, calmer now, but the tension in his face gave him away.

Aria looked up, her eyes wide and unfocused, like she was still fighting to make sense of the reality around her. “Dean?” Her voice was hoarse, barely a whisper.

Dean gave a quick nod. “I’m here. You’re good.” His words were simple, almost casual, but the way he gently brushed the wet strand of hair from her face and pulled her tightly into his arms said way more than words ever could.

Cas tilted his head, watching the whole thing with an unreadable expression. Sam, meanwhile, stood awkwardly in the background, his gaze flicking between Aria and Dean like he wasn’t sure where to look.

Aria was shaking hard, her whole body vibrating from the cold and the exhaustion. Dean grabbed a towel from a chair, draped it over her shoulders without letting go of her and helped her sit up slowly.

“Tell me you’re okay,” Dean murmured finally, his voice barely audible.

“I think… I’m okay,” she whispered back, though she wasn’t entirely sure she believed it herself.

[thominospizza]

The Bizarre Junji Ito Netflix Show (Japanese Tales of the Macabre)

Whilst I was browsing aimlessly on Nefflicks, I saw underneath "Related to" on Satoshi Kon's Paprika, a listing entitled "Junji Ito Maniac: Japanese Tales of the Macabre".

Junji Ito? I thought. How haven't I heard about this? I guess I haven't been really up to date with animé as a whole scene for quite some time now. I also know the diaspora of the animé fanbase generally turn their nose up at adaptations of Junji Ito - which is understandable. They've had their fingers burned too many times.

But it's Junji Ito. I like Junji Ito. I like things he makes and I've never actually seen the previous adaptations and I am still looking forward to the monochrome Uzumaki animé when it eventually comes out. My fingers are essentially burn-free at this point.

Will that change?

Well, I decided to take notes on every episode and my thoughts, emotions and experiences to document more of a commentary on the product. I think with horror, there is no other way.

Hi! This is Thom from the future and past me didn't realize how fucking long this article would be despite failing to recognize it's about 20 individual stories across 12 episodes because Netflix dodge paying their production.

Brace yourself.

Diary

1: "The Strange Hikizuri Siblings"

This starts and I am interested in the weird uncanny vibe but I am immediately skeptical. Reason being that supernatural, paranormal stuff just leaves me cold and in a bad way. I can't buy into it ever. Mainly because I do not believe in ghosts at all so I feel left at the door. For me, I am only interested in horror that is grounded in what's possible and if it's impossible, it has to be very fucking good or surreal and out of this world. (This was just seance gone wrong shite)

But I'll give it a chance.

So far, I like the uncomfortable nature of the family being in hierarchical abandon. The inmates are running the asylum and you can see even that the most normal of the Hikizuri siblings are fucked up. Kind of like the family from Bob's Burgers except they are all smoking bath salts.

The protagonist is so irritatingly basic and simple. I can't remember her name. She wants to photograph ghosts, has a seance because the lanky nerd fancies her then it turns out its fake and she never speaks to them again.

You think its going the way of the big brother losing his grip on reality and doing some dreadful killings but it kind of just doesn't have an ending.

The dead father comes out of the young boy for some reason and then just goes back into the grave and then it's just over.

Are ghosts real or not? I dunno. This felt like it was going somewhere fun and exciting but it was just cheesy and stupid by the end. Dumb. Felt like a waste of time.

2: "The Story of the Mysterious Tunnel"

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that the OP sucks. I don't normally comment on that stuff because I find it pretty redundant. Its like those hyperactive edits of anime tiddies over trap music you find on Youtube with Miss. Nagatoro in the thumbnail.

It took me about two minutes to find an example of what I was looking for.

This reminds of those really boring indie horror films where they think it would be really tense if absolutely shit-all happened until the last five minutes and this is exactly what this was.

I really liked the ending but most of it was boring, middle-of-the-road stuff about a spooky tunnel sucking people in or making them go mad or something. A tunnel being one of the most stupid places to get lost in as it is an enclosed linear space that you can see right through to end in broad day light.

But it was over quick and the ending just scratched an itch. I do like psychedelic, unreal stuff which I realize does contradict my opinion about the first one. I just think ghosts are lame. This wasn't really ghosts but more like a body-snatching which is fun.

3. "Ice Cream Bus"

If this is some Candyman thing...

Okay, it wasn't really.

I actually really loved this one. It was short, sweet and simple. A really easy concept to empathize with. Subverted expectations. Thought it was a really interesting view of balancing responsibility for your child and trust of the world around you.

A genuinely nightmarish idea. So good that I don't really want to talk about it. I would just like you to watch it yourself if you haven't.

4. "Hanging Balloon"

This one is immediately more eerie and almost like gothic horror. I like the colour palette of this one a lot because it extenuates Ito's bleakness well which I feel like the others haven't. I'm trying to separate these episodes from any original material because I don't feel like it's particularly helpful or fair. The production company is aiming to create some animé equivalent of Tales of the Unexpected or The Twilight Zone that's marketable towards your average Black Mirror viewer.

But oh no, its more ghost shite.

But speaking of Black Mirror, it does remind me of the latest series that focuses more on paranormal activity and the occult. That is until it falls into apocalyptic horror that I can't decide if it's preposterous or genius. The idea is actually fantastic but I can't help but think of the Futurama movie "Beast with a Billion Backs" except instead it's balloons that hang people.

It's the best one so far if with a few hiccups. Eerie and creepy. Joyously doom-filled. Out of all the terrible "suicide disease" ideas that have been done in recent years, this is by far and away the best one.

5. "Four x Four Walls"

This is iconic Junji Ito. Immediately recognisable. Surely, it must be a good-un.

Wrong. You should've been paying attention. Whilst the source material focuses more on paranoia, this just comes across as weirdness for weirdness' sake. It only forebodes quirkiness which you could argue is a consequence of the theme. But it's too silly.

I don't know if the directors only saw Souichi being a wacky weirdo but it just comes across as obnoxious and frustrating for the length of it.

Like the first one, it feels like it goes nowhere and is a waste of your time. I don't really like Souichi terribly much anyway outside of the iconic panels of his diseased gob that remain timeless even in the face of what is a mildly mediocre animé showing so far.

6. "The Sandman's Lair"

This reminds me of that bit in No More Heroes (?) where an animé villain cuts himself in front of a child for fun. I don't know why.

This is kind of like a Resident Evil/BioHazard brand of horror that I don't really like where some weird, non-specific, gellatinous monster is trapped in a guy.

I didn't really go for this one mainly because you can't really do this kind of story in this short-form package because there's no time to get attached to anybody. This was packed in with the last story and it felt like a complete afterthought.

I don't why they bothered. It's like they didn't even try.

7. "Intruder"

This feels like a classic concept of strange different boy who is obviously a humunculus-alien type creature masquerading as a human, yet the main characters seem completely disengaged with how weird the situation actually is.

However, I'm noticing a really annoying pattern.

They all shoehorn mention of ghosts in the first 30 seconds even if the plot doesn't actually contain them and its pretty tiresome to be treated like an idiot by the dialogue.

IT JUST ENDED OUT OF NOWHERE AS I WAS WRITING THIS. WHY? I'M NOT SCARED JUST BY CONCEPTS AND IDEAS. JUST FINISH THE STORY.

FOR CRYING OUT LOUD.

It's starting to get infuriating now. They have done this a couple of times where they present an idea and say "Wouldn't this be weird and creepy if this happened?" and then it just ends.

It's a shame because I was actually hooked and enticed by this as well. It was essentially like a Stephen King horror with four students investigating a weird occurance except it just ends before the third act with no conclusion. Oh well.

You are allowed to pull this kind of punch but it has to be done very, very well and this was undeserving.

This is Thom from the future again who decided to rewatch this in the English dub whilst I work on this article (I am currently trapped in a Junji Ito rabbit hole) and I will say it's better on second viewing. But not by much. It's another one that needed to be fleshed out more but again, Neppix dodges paying for extended production.

8. "Long Hair in the Attic"

This was... captivating. It was very good at building an intrigue and packages the kind of revenge poltergeist a lá Ju-On in a cool and interesting way. Like the Ice Cream Bus episode, it does it's job and goes. Feels like nothing is wasted.

The unexplained is mysterious and intriguing in a way that serves purpose to the narrative instead of making you just feel unsatisfied.

9. "Mold"

This feels more like traditional horror. A classic "character returns to his house and its disgusting and mortifying for unexplained reasons"

But the isolation and dread is sucked out when another human is introduced. His teacher ruined the house and he doesn't know why and I don't know why he gave his house to him either.

But there is MOLD. EVERYWHERE. BECAUSE THATS THE NAME OF THE CHAPTER.

I really love the atmosphere and the monochrome look this has.

Then the most obvious conclusion in the world happens.

It's fine.

10. "Library Vision"

It's about libraries.

This is kind of like a gothic, Edgar Allan Poe-like tale of manifested paranoia but it's almost as if they are mocking the style by being deliberately obtuse and overly pretentious.

It does very little to sell you on it's premise and it just feels like you're watching Downton Abbey or Penny Dreadful or something like that.

My main takeaway is that it might've been a good story if it was constructed and storyboarded better. It just comes across as rushed.

I get it but it was just a little too silly. Again.

11. "Tomb Town"

This one is a whole episode story. I was about to say that was a sign of something but on reflection, the length doesn't really have anything to do with the quality. Some of the longer ones have been boring like the Hikizuri Siblings but Hanging Balloons was long but it was great. Ice Cream Bus was short but effective yet the Four x Four Walls story was short and a fat nothing-sandwich with no crust.

This is clearly going for an American teen horror slasher vibe until it becomes obviously a commentary about Japan's ghost town epidemic.

It's literally a town full of tombstones because so many people have died, specifically in road accidents and theres constant questions of the philosophy of death traditions. Should we value death if it happens so often? Should we value it all? It's actually interesting and I say "actually" because I was expecting it to be a gory mess.

The central plot is around the fact that the two main characters hit and killed someone at the start and are having to hide it whilst the town are looking for them. Also that in this universe, people turn into tombstones when they die; kind of like in The Dark Hour in Persona 3. It's captivating enough but I'm constantly worrying something either stupid or predictable is going to happen.

...

Okay, it was sort of predictable but I preferred the way they ended this kind of story because the temptation is to have some elongated trauma for the tragic protagonist but the implication of trauma is far more effective in my opinion.

The narrative has executed what it's needed to do to deliver the point. The result is an unsettling cold feeling as opposed to like Ju-On ("The Grudge") where there is incessant hauntings of revenge from beyond the grave.

12. "Layers of Terror"

This has a shit name. I would pen this on my short story submissions for English Language in Year 8.

I don't know why they couldn't call it Layers of Fear but whatever.

I can't really concentrate on the concept of the plot because it reminds me too much of Limmy's short story "The Size of Sally" in which a woman incomprehensibly has infinite versions of herself underneath her skin.

It's so weird to have a curse plotline and people just accepting it like it's an illness or something. By "people", I mean doctors. The curse being that people have versions of their younger self trapped inside themself. I really love the idea of a mother trying to get at the baby version of their daughter. The way they execute this is amazingly weird and sickly that it actually does make my stomach feel weird. Horror doesn't do that to me.

That was my favourite one.

13. "The Thing that Drifted Ashore"

It's a mysterious fish thing that's like the episode "Mobius Dick" from Futurama where an unidentified creature swallows boats loads of people and keeps them alive indefinitely. Except this time, they've become weird zombie creatures. The episode is over now.

No plot. Just concept. Concept scary. Story hard. Dumb

Next one.

14. "Tomie's Photos"

I love how immediately weird and distasteful this is right from the off. A woman is just selling consensual photographs of men for money yet It seems so alien. It slowly gets seemingly more and more risqué and uncomfortable. There's something so unsettling about this and I cannot put my finger on it. It's probably because it feels like an animé in the middle of this horror anthology.

Oh. That's why.

There's something so ancestral about the feeling I felt when I realized.

It actually caught me off guard. I didn't realize what I was watching.

I know I said I wasn't going to compare the anime to the source material but I have to in this one instance because it's a story that's important to me.

I feel like they did everything right for a bitesize taste of the Tomie Kawakami story but they somewhat ruined it with the goofy music and the mediocre voice acting at the end. It probably isn't the best adaptation in this particular series of animé but in terms of source material, it's probably the best.

I adore horror playing on paranoia and mistrust and fear of the truth. That's why I love Invasion of the Body Snatchers and Alien. Junji Ito is fabulous at creating a universe where you can't trust reality as an innocent bystander. This story does it really well and I urge you to read the source material.

I was too busy soying at the adaptation of to write anything meaningful. I'm sorry. It had a whole episode to itself and rightfully so. It should've had a whole series but we will never win.

Another Thom update from the future: I watched this in English and it's ludicrously bad. I'm not really a dub versus sub guy because I think it's really, really, really dumb but abandon all hope ye who viewed this in the English dub. Holy God.

15. "Unendurable Labyrinth"

Okay.

The most I-know-where-this-is-going caper I have ever seen in my life.

Okay it was just a spooky cult thing with no ending. They get lost in the tomb.

GREAT. Next.

16. "The Bully"

Junji Ito is very good at drawing nonchalant and unassuming faces and making them look a subtle evil. Obviously. You don't need me to tell you this.

But this was just devastating. It wasn't really a horror in the traditional sense of the world. I was desperately waiting for it to end.

I don't even want to talk about it.

A mortifying segment.

17. "Alley"

There is something inherently scary about unfamiliarity and it's easy to make a horror in a ghost town with the protagonist being the au pare. As boring as that idea is, I feel like they did a good job at making this distinct and interesting.

I like making urban legends a reality. You can do a lot with it. This felt like an original idea and not some tropey mishap like some of the lesser ones in the package. I didn't really care for the animé backstory from the killer.

For some reason, after killing the main character, she climbs down the rope into the alleyway where she says she will never go and then the rope snaps, trapping her.

It ends abruptly again but I actually think it works in it's favour. I'm okay with this one. It's fine.

18. "Headless Statue"

It's about an art teacher who is already a weird subsect of society already but oooo, he doesn't like statues with heads.

I WONDER WHERE THIS COULD BE GOING.

He died and I don't know but I missed it.

Yeah, it did go exactly where I thought it was going. I won't tell you the plot but imagine a horror scenario where an art teacher for some reason specifies that he only likes headless statues specifically. You probably hit the nail on the head.

19. "Whispering Woman"

We're at the home stretch now, boys. The final stretch. This one and one more and we are done with this stupid animé.

Oh no, it's one of these philosophical existentialist, pre-determinist wanks.

It appears to be a representation of OCD (maybe?) but if it is, it's implying that people with mental health issues and illnesses literally suck the life out of people who take care of them.

I don't know how to interpret this one. As soulless as this sounds, I feel like this would've been an episode of Fringe or something like that.

It's disappointingly by the numbers at the end of the day. I liked it in all fairness but it was so pedestrian by Ito standards. I'd always seen the iconic panels of the eponymous character but didn't know anything about it until now.

I could live without it.

20. "Soichi's Beloved Pet"

Oh God, I hate this stupid family. Why are we back here?

And it's a vaguely disturbed boy who hurts animals plotline that I just fucking hate.

Oh and the animal becomes fucked up and weird. It's so disappointing to end on this. By fucked up and weird, it just does stuff that cats do. Like most problems in this universe, it could be solved with a doctor.

Like the other episode with this stupid kid in it, it's just annoying and too silly to be taken seriously on any level. The cat randomly just blows up everything for some reason.

This is dumb. I hate Soichi.

So... The Conclusion....

I don't know why I did this to myself. I wasn't expecting it to be good and to be fair, it had it's moments. Just not very many of them. By in large, it's another desperate attempt to translate Junji Ito's work to the screen and it didn't work. It worked SOME of the time but that surely makes it a non-starter from the off..

I wish some tales were fleshed out more. As the saying goes: many were mid but few were mildly above average at best. I appreciate the effort but it feels kind of wasted.

Was my time wasted? NO!

In my research for this, I have made a horrifying discovery.

This isn't the first time that this studio has attempted a Junji Ito adaptation. More on that another time...

I have found myself diving deep back into Junji Ito this Halloween. Reading old stories and new tales. Remembering the Uzumaki movie adaptation from the late 90s and the much more recent Adult Swim-produced manga-esque effort. Because of this stupid animé, I have found myself delving back into something I love very dearly. In a lot of ways, this show with the incredibly long name is a good message to remember what you had and why it's what you had and not what you want.

You already have Junji Ito's extensive collection and Ito is invincible. Immortal. Unbeatable. Junji Ito Crazy Man Tales of the Japanese Spooky Stuff is a dry and disorderly mishap, not of ups and downs but of a wiggly line running vaguely through the middle. One sharp boon ("Hanging Balloon") with one horrendous crash ("Souichi's Beloved Pet").

Overall though? Mediocre. Piss poor. I don't blame anyone else other than Netflix for thinking that financing this would be a good idea on any level.

That being said though, I am going to be selecting three to review in greater detail in a separate post. I haven't decided what but I'm sure you'll love it and you'll be sure I'll be right about it.

My Rating: *3/4 / ***** (One and Three Quarters of a Star) MAL Rating: 4/10

[kieuecaprie]

KieueCaprie's List of Games Finished in 2023: Entry 10

tfw Tumblr still doesn't have spoiler tags because there's a bunch of games in this entry that I want to talk about in full.

#26: Etrian Odyssey 1 HD

Finished When? 11/7/23

What's Finished? Main Story

Platform? PC

I didn't get into the Etrian Odyssey franchise until the 3DS era with Etrian Odyssey 4, which was pretty good by the way. I enjoyed creating my own party of adventurers and going out into the world to slay monsters and solve the mysteries of Yggdrasil (or whatever World Tree they explore through).

Then I moved onto Etrian Odyssey Untold, which was a remake of EO1 with a more story-focused cast of characters but with an option to play the game in Classic Mode. I also liked the it.

And then I fell off. Not because I hated the series but because other things took my attention and it fell by the wayside.

Then cue Atlus saying they're porting Etrain Odyssey 1, 2, and 3 to PC and now it caught my interest again, especially due to the fact that there's a potential for modding in there! So I picked up the bundle and started playing with EO1HD.

I will say that it was fine, I was treading old ground so nothing was really new to me and while I still like it, I feel like it has parts where it overstays its welcome, especially towards the end, and, of course, the music was just the classic music, not Untold, which kinda sucks but whatever.

It's fine for what it is and I can now say I've completed a version of classic EO1.

Now, I just wish Picnic mode wasn't super heavy-handed in its changes to enemies because taking 20% damage from them seems too much. Atlus REALLY loves making their beginner modes SUPER easy for some reason and I don't know why they do this.

#27: My Friendly Neighborhood

Finished When? 19/7/23

What's Finished? Story

Platform? PC, Steam

This game was on my radar for quite a while ever since that one Steam Next Fest (I think?) had a demo for it, on top of seeing tweets (sorry, X-cretes) of it on my feed of the developer working on bits and pieces of it.

When it finally came out, I went to go pick it up and while the price was a little higher than I initially expected, I'm glad to have paid the price of admission for it! The characters are memorable (I mean, they are when you have to listen to them prattle on about the mail for the entire playthrough), the gameplay feels like I'm playing a Resident Evil (not the super action-packed ones) except with puppets and the fact that there are cheats in a game in 2023 is something that I never thought I'd see.

On top of that, I enjoyed how it essentially deconstructs the whole mascot horror formula and makes its own where the mascots in question aren't out to kill you, at least, it seems that way, and aren't trying to eat your pancreas or whatever.

This game is great and would definitely sit on my list of favorite games this year.

#28: Pikmin 4

Finished When? 22/7/23 (First completion), 24/7/23 (True 100%)

What's Finished? Game complete, True 100%

Pikmin is one of my favorite Nintendo franchises that I wished did not get shot in the head by a game that just feels tedious. Fortunately, Nintendo finally dug up the grave and brought it back to life (Now do it for Chibi-Robo, PLEASE.) for Pikmin 4, something that took 10 years to add a dog.

I played the demo and loved it, even went out of my way to not meet the 1500 sparklium limit just so I could experience all the caves, the controls feel great, Oatchi is baby and I love himb, and the levels you have to go through are quite beautiful to see on the Switch, all of this running on Unreal Engine too.

I have quite a bit more to say about this game so I'm gonna have to say that there's a Read More below that will spoil Pikmin 4 for you if you click on it. (EDIT: lmao nevermind, clicking expand on the post in the feed also expands the read more so now I have to make a separate post)

#29: Ratchet & Clank: Rift Apart

Finished When? 1/8/23

What's Finished? Normal Mode Story

Platform? PC, Steam

When I first heard this game was only coming to PS5, I unanimously decided to just.. not. Just not. This was because I could not get my hands on a PS5 and that it was terribly expensive and getting a console for one singular game these days feels like a waste, so I decided to just not talk about this game so as to avoid the algorithm.

This was so I wouldn't get spoiled on anything beyond what was shown in trailers and also so I wouldn't get an ALL BOSSES & ENDING (NO DAMAGE) video on my Youtube feed by some jerk who decided to plaster the face of the final boss in the middle circle and call it a day. Surprisingly, this actually worked and I never heard about this game again.

Then Sony decided to port it to PC and I jumped on it because now I can actually play it. Of course, I decided to wait until I was done with Pikmin 4 first before I moved on and I'm glad I did.

I'm really glad that I was lucky enough to have a PC that could just power through some of the issues the game had, although it still had a few issues such as geometry not loading in and the occasional time where I would clip through the ground and die for no good reason, but I was able to play through the game from start to finish.

Was it worth not spoiling myself for however many years? Probably. It was a short game but I got my money's worth. Rivet is cute, Ratchet is great as ever, and the fact that the game completely ignores the remaster of the first game is also great, mostly because that game kind of ruins Ratchet's character development that he went through.

Also, on my birthday, I was given a Dualsense controller (Lemme say that I didn't know what I wanted for my birthday, it's hard to do so these days...) and I must say the adaptive triggers did change up the gameplay quite a bit, priming a shot with a half-press and clicking it all the way in to fire. I initially thought it'd be overhyped as all hell but no, it felt pretty good to use, add to the fact that it has touchpads much like the Dualshock 4, which means that it'd be the perfect companion to my Steam Deck as well as enabling a much easier time of gyro gaming on PC (one of my issues with gyro gaming was simply not having an easy way to toggle the gyro on and off and I was not about to give up one of the face buttons for gyro-ratcheting).

All in all, game's great, was worth the wait, and I'm surprised at how well it ran and looked on the Steam Deck running at 30 FPS @ 800p. Perhaps I judged 30 FPS too harshly.

#30: Nerf Arena Blast

Finished When? 5/8/23

What's Finished? Single-player campaign

What prompted me to play this? Why did I choose to play this? Simple. Nostalgia, among other things.

This is probably one of the times where nostalgia really screwed me over.

The feel of the game is great, I loved the 90's aesthetic of there being some sort of nerf arena and playing as an up-and-coming team, the first few levels were pretty nice to play through too, but that's where everything kind of stops.

Also, this game is... well.. it's a game filled with slow-moving projectiles and bots that are dumb as bricks one minute and ultra try-hards the next is not my idea of fun. Not to mention that the game began to feel tedious as I kept pushing through the campaign.

Sure, I'm probably asking for a lot from a licensed kids game from the 90's/00's but Unreal Tournament had a lot more to offer than just deathmatch, ballhoopmatch, and speedrun, I wish they had done more than just those modes.

Speaking of the modes, I've found Ballblast to be extremely tedious to play through. It felt like it'd drag on and on and on and on and on and on until someone FINALLY finds the six dragon balls, shoots them through a hoop, and then collects the seventh one and shoots it through a hoop to FINALLY end the game. I have to ask, who the hell decided it would be a good idea to make it UNTIMED? There's a VERY good reason why objective gamemodes with the ability to disrupt those capturing has a timer, it's so that, at the end, the game can end and the winner be found.

But these games could drag on for ages, compounded by the fact that the bots, despite being masterful gods of leading projectiles, are stupid, somehow even dumber than Unreal Tournament's bots, and will take forever to go to the hoop and shoot balls into a hole.

BUT, I will give credit where credit is due, Pointblast, which is deathmatch but points, is a neat idea where you go around slaying people like normal BUT they drop points that you have to pick up BUT it can also be stolen meaning that you could get 1st place killed and steal the 1000 point drop from someone else. I like this idea, I like how it essentially changes the pace from sitting around camping to a more frantic slugfest, which I appreciate because when I played through Unreal Tournament, most of my problems could be solved with either a Flak Cannon to the face or pulling out the sniper rifle and just headshotting everyone from a safe place.

Speedblast is... interesting. I like the idea of running through the map, shooting others to stop them from capturing checkpoints, and finishing before everyone else. Maybe it's just me, really, because while I do like the idea of it, the execution was often less than stellar and the maps that had ways to disrupt without having to kill people were very few and that kind of makes me sad. Is it a stupid gamemode? Yes but I applaud the devs of the time for trying to make something new for a change.

All in all, this game is very flawed and somewhat poorly aged but it has some decent points to it and I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy my time with it at all. I really did have at least a bit of fun with it, even though I did not appreciate the game quitting on me after I finished the final level and it blasting my ears off with the ultra-loud video that plays.

And it also has a niche cult following that helpfully has a community patch that allows it to be played on modern systems, so clearly it has something going for it that I may not have found for myself. And that's okay, you know?

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[nixierain]

Vent post. You don't have to read

I wanna talk about random fucked up mental shit Bruh, I've been stuck in a kinshift for like really long... There are still probably several differnt voices in my head... I wish it was ones I knew... I kinda miss the other voices back in my head from 7th grade because they were SO much nicer... Except Darkness, hes a bitch. But Death, Olive, Melody and Ruby were actually nice enough. Some of them were sadistic, but still. Speaking of sadism, I just randomly get sadistic... And like one second I'll be A ok, the next I'm a fucking mess thats spiraling... I mean I guess thats BPD for you, it still suck though OH and the "Seeing and hearing things others cant see"... They've FINALLY gotten a bit better die to my meds... But when they do come around, it seems more vivid than eariler. I mean I like the aditory ones, those are like pretty music now, but the notifactations and (rarely) voices confuse me and cause anxiety. I've alwasy had these kinds of things I guess... I remember when I was little I used to hear scratching on my window when nothing was there. UGH Everyone calls me Schizophrenic. I HATE it, sure I'm delusional as fuck and "See and hear things others cant" Shit... Forgot what I was gonna say... Well see if I can remember it

Ha, my meds are working a little too well, to the point where my depression and everything is masked to myself, underneith this fake facade I've put up, I still am depressed as fuck, it shows in my drawings and writing.

I've had two identity crisis's in the past not even a year, and I've lost touch with myself more than that, not to mention the unreality episodes. At this point, disconnecting from reality is one of my HORRIBLE coping mechanisms...

This is weird, but I'm starting to HATE summer Vacation cause its SOOO fucking boring, I dont have anything to do all day, so I'm just sitting around. Funny thing is that boredom triggers my depression and causes me to fall back into suicidal ideation and more unmotivation, and like everything.

Ugh, I'm not looking forward to high school at my district, cause middle school almost killed me...But I wont be bored hopefully and people wont harass me more... And if they do, hopefully the school will do shit about it. Ha.... Middle school sucked... Lots of trauma.. And now I have tics, it sucks. I also accedentally pushed people I loved away because of my affection styles and overclinging. I do this out of care and the fear of being abandonded. My therapist says my fear of abandonment isnt irrational, cause there are deep roots trauma that caused it, she just says that I go to extremes.

HAHAHA I'm going insane... No one will see me as the gender I identify as, or the name, I'm stuck being a girl named .... Omg this is long

I wish I could just turn off whats left of my emotions, or have better control over them.

Oh don't even get me started on my damn religion, that... thats intresting.... But I think I have a soulbond or smth with my guardian spirit (I think he's my guardian spirit) cause if someone asks a question to him, I just blurt out the answer. Though Raven's chill, he's cool and very nice, probably the second nicest entity in my room (Second to Will)

Its kinda funny though, I have a personality disorder, a mood disorder and a language/communication disorder. I'm a whole package... Just not neurodivergent. But don't worry, I'll be ok... I hope

Yeah I'm cutting myself off here

[themindelectricdemo4]

IIM putting my claws itno that skin. like nails on a chalkboard babyyy!!! Cuz If u leave im just gone!!!! & maybe thats what ppl would want!! But i cant think about them right now. idont have the headpsace to. except you. you you you only only ylou. ok. because i know no one cares or thinks about it but if youre REALLY the only thing im need to stay alive for its something. who cares. im trying my fucking HARDEST OK & sure i have hands around my ankles like stupid shackles that stiill wont break off but im just tryingto keep my head up. they ever present. but just ignore it!!!!! ignore it. but i still think i see a bit of shade whne i see you. & yeah it sucks. like i said thoug hreally....the best i can do .....ignore ignore ignore. cuz its really only you thats thee for me at the end of the day & thats ok. even if im fed lies cuz u literally only tell me the truth cuz if i didnt have that!!! i wouldnt know what to believe!!! & thak fucking god for that!!! like u know when we are linked. by soul or heart or whaeveter. (lol like pokemon). then i have to be with you. & i wrote this but it was "scary", its multidimensional, ii was already predisposed to this so its really no ones fault but uh......like whoever thought conceiving ME was a good idea lol.....but anyways i dont wanna put that guilt on anyone, cuz really what matters at the end of the day is YOU SAVED ME. & i saved you. which is crazy to think or believe. but its like..."magical", eeven if thats such a dumb way to put it & kind of like minimizes the whole thing, yeah just sounds like some cartoon kids show. FATE or whatever. other kiddy show tropes. but seriously like.....we came across each other FOR A REASON. IN EVERY. SINGLE. WORLD. The chances of that are like, FUCKING...astronomical low, so astronomical low its fucking unreal. i could sit & ponder the math forever, genuinely forever, until the day i die, but thats wasting time when i could spend it with you. its literally what i think i was made for at this point. maybe you too ....no...lol...i wont go about assuming that, cuz i cant ever know about you specifically in that sense...just whatever you tell me about you, you know , like what you tell me. & im litterally looking at you as i type this('you because i cant look at your face...cuz im shy .....nice fuckin shoes u got there nerd....) dissociates into your god dam nknee cuz !!! m respectful. hey!!! (doesnt know what you just said) but anyways if you just take me tonight & forget al lthis dumb stuff then thats cool. just be wary i might have to slice my stomach open. dont worry about it

[suffcring]

Ethan had suffered almost a decade of unreal events; things meant for movies, shows, books he'd read voraciously in highschool but had thought below him in college... videogames. Things he could not share with those not involved not just because it was a security risk but because nobody would believe him. Indeed, if he'd read the events that had unfolded with him under their weight, Ethan would have put the book down, thinking that's too much.

Too many things for too few people to suffer, when there's a whole world out there.

(And others had suffered longer; Leon and Chris, both, for decades had resisted the urge to fold under the weight of several connected once-in-a-lifetime events)

But what seemed the most unreal, the most jumping-of-the-shark was how he had been so angry, so convinced just twenty minutes before that Karl Heisenberg, an old fuck by any definition except life experience, would reject Ethan outright if he learned the truth about him -- and now? Now, he is a fumbling creature pressed against him, hot with heated desire, and Ethan would be lying if he said he didn't like the way Karl's fingers, so strong from his previous life, worked the muscle of his ass.

He presses back into him, uncertain as to if he has wanted this before now or if it's simply a desire born in the moment, ignited by Karl's interest like a torch held to another to light it's twin flame.

Such thoughts are wiped from his mind at the speech of Heisenberg, and Ethan snort; the act causes his lips to vibrate against the other man's neck.

"Maybe... Maybe we don't talk about your sis--" Pause. Stop. rewind. A rant about how Dimitrescu had not been Karl's sister (and she hadn't, not in any way that really counted) would kill the mood, and Ethan wishes he could suck the start of the phrase back up into his mouth.

(Not exactly a great time to think of sucking, either, now that he really thinks about it).

"Them. Maybe we don't talk about them while we make out like horny teenagers on prom night?"

Each moment Karl wasn’t pushed away was a treasure, every one bleeding into the next for a river of gold. Gold like the warmth burning from chest to groin, a forge’s stoked fire; gold like all the shades of Ethan’s hair; gold like decadent honey in a half-remembered dream. He hoarded every gleaming piece laid before him, every tight press of lips, every drag of nails over scalp and spine.

That second yank on his hips brought out another pleased hum, both palms sliding down to grasp the cheeks of Ethan’s rear. When their mouths finally came apart, Karl’s good eye fluttered only partway open while his head tilted to lean into the other man’s attention - like either a cat seeking sunlight or a dog seeking reward, depending on one’s perspective. He felt the shin of his wrapped leg meet the side of the bed, that single reminder conjuring a flood of enticing images and ideas in Karl’s mind. There were so many, he didn’t yet push forward to topple them both onto the bed, too curious about all the possibilities.

Instead, Karl indulged a little while longer in the present moment. He strove to give as good as he got in whatever way he could, adding light nips of his own along jaw and neck, and squeezing Ethan’s ass in a sort of rhythmless massage. The harder press of the other’s teeth around a pulse point thrumming at the side of Karl’s neck coaxed a shiver. It was that growl which brought out a full-throated moan in answer. Tilting his head this time to press their cheeks together, he spoke near Ethan’s ear, the timbre of his low murmuring close to a purr.

“Fuck, that’s good…” A soft chuckle. “You make a better vampire than that super-sized bitch ever could be.” And not just because she had an eternal vendetta against men. “I’d let you drink me any day, mark me up anywhere you like.” It was both honest, and the best dirty talk Karl could think of in his blissfully distracted state.

[etherealascend]

hii it's unorcadox ^_^ how does your editing process work!!! like how do you choose what images to use, how to combine them, how to get the right "feel" etc. 👀 very curious abt ur answer

Damn, great question! Also, love your edits, Orca! (also a bit jelous abt your productivity, wish i had so many great ideas) So i present to you: a wall of text! (cw really long!)

So, many people see a great base image and then immideately get an idea of what they wanna do w/ it. I'm not like that, i ususally have an idea of an edit in mind, and then search for sometimes a few hours for a base image that may work. I have a whole tutorial-worthy process of how i always find what i need, but i digress… Most of the times, tho, i get something better than what i had in mind. I love this process, cause it's like tresure hunting for me. (ofc it's not always like that, just most of the time. Since i have a giant collection of base images i may sometimes use them). I choose my images based on the mood i wanna portray. It's always supposed to be looking kinda dreamlike and unreal, but it can also be creepy, dark, bright, etc.

When editing my favourite style of edits - fake dreamlike places - I try to make them look as real as possible, regarding color, lighting, etc, while still making them look blatantly fake regarding the composition, subject matter, etc. Ofc i don't try to perfect my lighting, since it can take away the feeling i strive for, so it's kinda based on my own feelings idk. I get really inspired by the surrealists' painting. Artists like Brent Wong, for example. Liminal spaces are already weird, so why not make them even weirder, by making the geometry non-Euclidean and subject matter impossible in the real world. Also unlike surrealist painters, i have a luxiry of making the scene like "more real" by combining actual photos in photoshop. Ofc people have been making surreal art w/ 3d programs forever now, but it still doesn't give off the same feeling real picture does, yk.

Uhh... what was i talking about... Ah, yes! I firstly make a collage, that i have in mind by this point, and sometimes it just... doesn't work out! i had discarded so many great ideas, cause they weren't turning out good. But if it works, i add shadows and highlights. I look at real liminal space photos and try to really analyze them. Like, what makes them work? the color, the quality, the blurriness? Then i add effects that works to my edit. Every edit needs it's own level of compression, sharpness, blurriness... You just gotta feel it.

Really important step. I leave my edit for a few hours, so i forget how it looks, and then return later. All the imperfections, things that don't work, etc pop out immediately. I read somewhere that the process of creating and the process of analyzing are two completely different things, and i couldn't agree more. It's annoying when you have a finished edit, and you really wanna show it to the world, but you have to wait... But it's better, than being embarrassed later that you posted something unfinished and you can't fix it now.

Ofc i make text edits as well, but they basically serve the same purpose and not that interesting to describe, cause process is the same just with a few steps skipped.

There wasn't such question, but i still wanna talk about it, cause it kinda answers "how do you get the right feel". Well, why do i make edits? Well, the world sucks ass (i don't agree w/ this statement for the most part, like friends are great, nature is buitifull, but then there are parts that just... yk...) and for me weirdcore is a sort of an escapism. I can't traverse dreamworlds mindlessly, alone or come across magical events in real world, sadly. But I can make them however i would like them to look and feel, with my characters (like deer), and my own thoughts about them, that no one except me knows. It's kinda like i actually've been there, and i took a picture. Or hell, maybe i've never been here myself, but those deer were, or invisible creatures, that are not in the shot. And i know them personally, cause i made them, they are a part of myself! And it really helps, and i'm so glad these pictures resonate with so many more people here too! I had been making these pictures without realising why for a year. I had some thoughts and heard dozens of opinins of other pople, but i hadn't had a full picture. And then a video by SuperEyePatchWolf about liminal spaces comes out, and i get it now, it was really eye opening, for me at least. It explains really well why we love unreality so much.

[fearofmusic1979]

The anticapitalism of Ursula K. Le Guin and Kim Stanley Robinson

[DESCRIPTION: A quote from Ursula K. Le Guin's The Dispossessed (1974): "He tried to read an elementary economics text; it bored him past endurance, it was like listening to somebody interminably recounting a long and stupid dream. He could not force himself to understand how banks functioned and so forth, because all the operations of capitalism were as meaningless to him as the rites of a primitive religion, as barbaric, as elaborate, and as unnecessary. In a human sacrifice there might be at least a mistaken and terrible beauty; in the rites of the moneychangers, where greed, laziness, and envy were assumed to move all men's acts, even the terrible became banal (pg. 105)."

A quote from the introduction to “April in Paris” from The Wind’s Twelve Quarters (1975), Ursula K Le Guin: "“Professionalism” is no virtue; a professional is simply one who gets paid for doing what an amateur does for love. But in a money economy, the fact of being paid means your work is going to be circulated, is going to be read; it’s the means to communication, which is the artist’s goal (pg. 20)."

A quote from Kim Stanley Robinson's Red Mars (1992): "Anyway, that's a large part of what economics is – people arbitrarily, or as a matter of taste, assigning numerical values to non-numerical things. And then pretending that they haven’t just made the numbers up, which they have. Economics is like astrology in that sense, except that economics serves to justify the current power structure, and so it has a lot of fervent believers among the powerful (pg. 298)."

A quote from Kim Stanley Robinson's Red Mars (1992): “... there’s all kinds of phantom work! Unreal values assigned to most of the jobs on Earth! The entire transnational executive class does nothing a computer couldn’t do, and there are whole categories of parasitical jobs that add nothing to the system by an ecologic accounting. Advertising, stock brokerage, the whole apparatus for making money only from the manipulation of money — that is not only wasteful but corrupting, as all meaningful money values get distorted in such manipulation (pg. 299).”

A quote from Kim Stanley Robinson's Red Mars (1992): "The encroachment on that set of rules has begun everywhere, like a parasite feeding on the edges of its host organism, because that’s what the replacement set of rules is, the old parasitic greed of the kings and their henchmen, this system we call the transnational world order is just feudalism all over again, a set of rules that is anti-ecological, it does not give back but rather enriches a floating international elite while impoverishing everything else, and so of course the so-called rich elite are in actuality poor as well, disengaged from real human work and therefore from real human accomplishment, parasitical in the most precise sense, and yet powerful too as parasites that have taken control can be, sucking the gifts of human work away from their rightful recipients which are the seven generations, and feeding on them while increasing the repressive powers that keep them in place (pg. 380)!”

[rubberduckyrye]

Oh man!!!

I do love me the Tragedy of the Twins and the unsympathetic tragedy of Kenzo becoming the monster that once abused him. Delicious stuff I tell you--I'm really happy that so far I haven't gotten anyone accusing me of trying to make Kenzo sympathetic by acknowledging the cycle of abuse and that Kenzo was, himself, a victim. That doesn't excuse ANYTHING he did, ofc.

Yeah when I was developing him, I wanted to make sure people saw Kenzo as a monster but never associate him with one of the "bad" disorders. I also don't want to make him sympathetic, either, by dwelling on his backstory and what made him into the monster we love to hate.

I never plan on getting married (AROACE FTW) so I luckily don't have to worry about that. I totally get it though, it REALLY sucks that the government is so against disabled people... I think there shouldn't be discrimination against disabled people who are married like that's the weirdest thing. So like is the Government expecting the partner to pay for everything??? In this economy??? In this day and age? Damn what a backwards mindset.

I'm jealous you got out of your wheelchair though I am still struggling with my back problems orz But I'm glad you got better, even if you're not sure how! Still, it might be worth reconsidering disability benefits. Even if one day you find someone and get married, it might be worth getting them asap if you believe you can't work. Even temporary assistance is still assistance.

I couldn't tell you who my first soulbound was because I had so many "imaginary friends" as a kid it's unreal nfsknfjkds

Oh nice! Thank you for that information, it's very helpful! :D IT sounds like a whole lot to deal with though. Still, good information to keep in mind!

Oh man, I bet--though tbh I actually don't think Junko has ASPD. Not in the sense that you might be thinking of--because she doesn't actually seem to disregard the feelings and safety of others. In fact, it's the fact she does care about other people that drives her despair, since she's literally performing the greatest acts of self harm and sabotage due to her over-analytical brain making the world around her so boring that she can't feel anything except the pain of self loathing and despair. Honestly when you realize she is self harming (trying to make herself feel Despair (AKA Anything) to be free of the boredom) she becomes more of a cautionary tale of how hyper intelligence can lead to extreme self destruction--and maybe about how the world failed a literal genius where, had the world not failed to help her, she could have brought a golden era of humanity to the world. But I might be getting to analytical here LMAO

Anyway I mentioned before that I can kind of relate to Junko now, and that's via my ADHD. So naturally I'm giving her the most Severe Case of ADHD known to man. (I don't like giving my villains the "bad" disorders so even Junko cannot be given this in my stories fdjklgndfkgjs)

I actually had a little joke about that when the Despair Mascot! Kokichi stuff was a thing, where there was a joke an anon made about Mikan suggesting Kokichi had ADHD and Junko realizing that SHE had ADHD and wanting to be on the strongest dose. Then she's pacified because her brain can finally calm TF down.

@kindlyre

Okay I'm VERY curious as to what mental illness you're writing Rantaro to have because it seems to be one of those stigmatized ones and I'm v curious???

[sonofthesaiyans]

Eren killed his own mother.....

Hey to those older fans out there, do you remember Roseanne? Do you remember why its original finale was so despised? 

To those too young to remember, do you know what it was so despised? Or maybe you have a better memory of something else like, How I Met Your Mother? 

Why did they suck? Because they changed everything the series built up for absolutely no valid reason except for a bunch of last minutes twists that had not been even slightly hinted at at any point prior. Making everything from before feel irrelevant. 

And THAT is Hajime Isayama’s Fumbling in a nutshell: He changed every fucking thing the series was built on and tampered with whatever its meaning from the beginning was. 

I’m not saying anything new here, but Eren Yeager sending Dina to eat his mother so Eren would follow through on his plan for global genocide is one of the most fucking idiotic things this author could’ve done, and that’s saying something! Especially on a blog dedicated almost solely towards condemning Garbage Braun and the entire Sasha affair. Like seriously, how does this make any sense? 

Eren murdered his own mother for his own ends. So him being motivated by that entire trauma rings pretty goddamned hollow, as does Grisha’s sacrifice in the entire thing, entrusting his son to do right by the Eldians only for us to realize that it was all one massive deception. From a time unrealized! So if Future!Eren did all this shit, what was history like before this motherfucking time loop was set in motion? How was it set in motion! 

There’s so much wrong with this revelation that I cannot adequately express it in words, but it made up of like twelve different levels of wrong. It sure raises a lot of questions of Eren’s failure to save many of his comrades and why he spared others. Yeah, why did he go out of his way to protect his remaining friends again if it meant him getting his head sliced off thus ending his plans for global destruction? 

How does the cunt feel about his own mother if he was willing to do that for his own plans? Everything just makes his goddamned plan which only resulted in Paradis getting leveled later feel so convoluted. How does any of this add up? No this doesn’t come in full circle, it’s just going in fucking circles. 

And is that what AOT’s big endgame is? It’s just one big fucking circle? All that cycle of violence bullshit is one thing, but doesn’t everyone appreciate why the time loop as a whole DOES NOT WORK? Imagine how much more sense this season might have made if that was never there. As is, what goddamned purpose did it honestly serve? 

Carla’s death is what triggered all of this. Suggesting that it was all premeditated REALLY cheapens Eren’s motivations and everything he was before he kissed Historia’s hand (That’s also idiotic, btw, the kiss that doomed humanity, somebody just hit me with a fucking brick). So in the end Eren is just a fucking sociopath with a bloodlust only matched by his entitlement to a girl he treated like dirt? 

Guys, writing this shit is making my brain hurt. And I can’t imagine what was going on in the studio when this fool wrote this final chapter. When somebody gets some answers from him, we all deserve to hear them. But it sure reinforces my case that season four needs to just be written out as non-canonical. That seems like the cleanest fix. 

If you don’t know where this story REALLY ended by now.......You must be an anime-only. And now I need a cold drink. 

Fucking time loops, fuck that noise.