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hstyleshoney · 4 years ago

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flawed - h.s

AU she has a new roommate and he’s not the worst

Wordcount: 13K // slow-burn fluff with a small hint of angst and mutual-ish pining I suppose, strong language, alcohol use, sexual content

AN: This is my little College/Uni AU piece for @stylesharrys fallinharry10k celebration writing fest! And I got carried away. I’ve had the start of this in my drafts for like two years and this challenge kind of just got me motivated to finish it. I’m really happy with some parts of it and some I’m not so sure about...I hate endings... BUT I had really fun writing it and that is all that matters and hopefully someone will enjoy it. I’m just happy I managed to finish it after such a long time. I’d also really really appreciate some feedback on it so please share your thoughts! I don’t have too much experience writing like this so be nice pls haha. ENJOY! <3

“Harry, you left your dirty dishes by the sink... AGAIN! Dunno how many times I have to remind you to clean up after yourself Put it away. Thx. :)”

Y/N took a deep breath to calm herself down and re-read the pink post-it note infront of her. He was going to be the death of her. He really was. Harry was in every other way the perfect roommate, well perfect was perhaps a bit excessive but he wasn’t the worst, except for the fact that he never took care of his stupid dirty dishes. It drove her mad. It took all her willpower to not smash his stupid little kermit the frog teacup into tiny little pieces whenever she saw it.

And yes, maybe it was irrational of her to get so worked up over a few dirty cups when everything else was going so well. But Y/N liked it when things were in order.

In the past two months that she had lived with Harry she had lost count of how many times she had asked him to wash up his used pans, plates and cups. The first time it happened she didn’t really mind. The second time -- also fine. But the third? That was when she started to get a little bit bothered. Because not only was it his dirty dishes from the same day. No. The plate and cup from the day before were still there on the counter as well. That was the first time she asked him to clean up after himself.

It was still fine though.

Y/N just told herself it was because Harry had previously lived in a student accommodation with a bunch of unruly boys and wasn’t used to picking up after himself. It was fine. He’d soon get it.

Only, he didn’t seem to get it.

Because weeks later she still had to remind him to wash up after he was done in the kitchen. It was like what she said to him went in one ear and out the other. It took her another week before she started suspecting he was leaving it out on purpose to irritate her, which well, it worked. It only annoyed her further.

The amount of tea that boy drank was truly worrying. She had been told she drank a lot of tea, but she seemed to have met her match in Harry. At least judging by all the cups he left around the flat. They were everywhere. Literally. She had even found one under the bathroom sink just a couple days ago and she didn’t even bother asking him how it got there. She had simply just left him a post-it note asking him to put it away.

Because she was certainly not going to go around and pick up after him. He was a grown boy and therefore capable of cleaning up after himself. She wasn’t his mother.

It was basic housekeeping.

She ripped the little pink post-it note off the pad and stuck it up on Harry’s bedroom door so he couldn’t possibly miss it. She stared at it for another minute, pleased with herself, before getting her backpack and left to go to her lecture. It was her own way of telling him off; leaving post-it notes for him. A more passive-aggressive approach had always been her preferred strategy, it made her feel slightly less annoying, and anytime she had left him a note in the morning the dirty dishes had magically disappeared when she came home later.

So there was no reason for her to stop leaving them for him.

Apart from that Harry really was the best roommate she could’ve asked for. The best one in the short amount of time she had had to find a new one anyways. Lexi, her very good friend from home and roommate before Harry, had decided to drop out of uni a week before courses were due to start again after summer; leaving her alone with a flat she couldn’t afford on her own. Y/N couldn’t be mad at her though because she knew how unhappy Lexi was in Manchester. She wasn’t enjoying her course and she missed her family. Y/N couldn’t force Lexi to stay just because she didn’t want to find a new roommate. She wasn’t that selfish.

It just wasn’t ideal. Everyone she knew already had a place to live and she was feeling pretty defeated about the whole thing. She liked her flat and didn’t want to give it up. Her parents offered to help her pay rent until she could find someone to live with again but she didn’t want to take her parents money. It didn’t feel right. So when her friend Lucy mentioned that her boyfriend Nate had a friend who needed a place to live she offered the mysterious man Lexi’s old room without a second thought.

Then Harry showed up outside her door two days later with a large suitcase and a couple of moving boxes.

They didn’t really talk all that much their first week of living together. He mostly kept to himself, trying to get settled in and get used to being back at uni after a long summer. All she knew about him at that point was that he was the same age as her and that he was studying music. Something she probably would’ve figured out sooner or later on her own, because every evening she could hear him play his guitar from inside his bedroom. She couldn’t complain though. It was quite soothing actually, and she wanted to tell him that.

But she also didn’t want him to feel uncomfortable knowing she laid awake listening to him play and then stop because he didn’t want her to eavesdrop.

So Y/N never said anything.

Their second week of living together was when she picked up on his annoying habit of leaving the kitchen a mess. It was also that week he offered to make her a cup of tea for the first time and she would never admit it outloud but it was probably the best cup of tea she had ever had.

But since he left his own cups all around the flat she also refused to tell him that.

By the third week they started having dinner together and asked each other about their days. They were slowly getting to know one another and Y/N realised for the first time that she did in fact enjoy Harry’s company. That Sunday they spent the entire evening binge watching the first season of a scandinavian crime drama on netflix and shared a tub of ice cream.

Then they were suddenly in the same group of friends.

Because with Lexi gone Y/N started hanging out with Lucy more and Lucy was dating Nate and Harry was always hanging out with Nate. Which all just led to Tara, Declan and Connor always being around as well. Their flat had, since Harry moved in, turned into the hotspot for the gang to hang out at. She didn’t mind much, because she liked them and she had never really been a part of a group like them before. It was nice. Lexi moving had in a weird way been a blessing in disguise.

So there really wasn’t anything else to complain about when it came to Harry as a roommate.

Well, maybe one more thing.

And she usually met that reason every Sunday morning in their kitchen after a night out.

That Sunday however took a different turn than what she had gotten used to.

“You told me you didn’t have a girlfriend!”

“Harry,“ Y/N said slowly and narrowed her eyes at him. The girl next to them, whose hair was dyed a rich red color, was only clad in one of Harry’s old band t-shirts and stared at the two of them with frantic eyes.

“Y/N, babe, I’m so sorry,” Harry said and stared at Y/N pleadingly. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

“You’re unbelievable.”

“Can someone please tell me what’s going on!?” The red-haired girl demanded and crossed her arms over her chest and Y/N could’ve sworn she did a little stomp. “You told me last night that you were single!”

“Yes Harry, I’d love an explanation,” Y/N said and mimicked the redhead by crossing her arms over her chest. She probably would’ve laughed if the situation had been any different because the stranger in the kitchen was glaring at Harry with such a hatred in her eyes and Y/N had never seen a girl look at him that way before.

And it was still funny, but it would’ve been funnier if she wasn’t a part of it. Harry on the other hand only ignored the angry girl and kept the lie going, focusing on his roommate.

“Love, I’m so fucking sorry. It didn’t mean anything! I swear, I was drunk and-”

“Ugh, oh my god,” the redhead cried out, interrupting him. She was fuming and her face was as red as her hair. Before Y/N had the chance to say anything else, to resolve the situation, the redhead stepped forward and slapped Harry across the face. “You’re such a fucking asshole!”

Then she turned around and Y/N’s first instinct was to take a step back because that was how intimidating she looked with her red wild hair and red cheeks. But Y/N, very unexpectedly, found herself being embraced in a bone-crushing hug. “I’m so sorry! I swear I had no idea. He told me he didn’t have a girlfriend. You deserve so much better! Leave him.”

And just like that the girl was gone, marching back to Harry’s room to get changed into her own clothes again, and left the two of them alone in the kitchen. Y/N at loss for words and Harry rubbing the side of his face.

It didn’t take very long before the sound of the front door being slammed shut echoed through the flat and made the walls around them shake.

“You’re disgusting,” Y/N muttered then and walked past him to put the kettle on. She had a headache from all the wine she had consumed the previous night and whatever it was that had just happened hadn’t exactly helped her feel any better. She had only wanted a nice cup of tea, and maybe some toast. She had definitely not been prepared, nor expected, to be part of a terrible made-up triangle drama. Not this early.

“Aw, c’mon,” Harry laughed and finally let his face break out into a grin. “I’ve tried to get her to go home all morning but she wouldn’t take any hints. I had no choice.”

Y/N turned her head to glare at him and pointed a warning finger in his direction

“If you bring a girl back you get rid of her yourself. I want no part in your disgusting shenanigans,” she told him. “You deserved that slap.”

“I didn’t even say anything to her,” Harry said and hopped up to take a seat on the counter. “She just assumed.”

“Why would she even assume that?” Y/N asked and eyed him suspiciously “If I was your girlfriend I wouldn’t randomly appear in the kitchen the next morning in my pyjamas. You must’ve told her something.”

“I didn’t,” Harry denied and put his hands up, still grinning. She rolled her eyes. “I swear! She just assumed.”

“Yeah well, you shouldn’t have let her,” she told him and took out two slices of bread to put in the toaster. “Besides, do you have to bring a girl back every weekend?”

“Do you have to go on like five dates a week?”

“I don’t,” she glared at him again. Harry raised his eyebrows at her knowingly and she looked away from him as the next few words left her lips. “It was only three this week.”

“Oh right,” Harry laughed. “Excuse me.”

“Shut up.”

“At least I’m getting something good out of it,” he continued to laugh. “I still don’t understand why you have to go on so many dates all the time. What do you get out of it?”

“I wanna find love,” she shrugged. “Is that so bad?”

“No, not at all,” Harry told her. “But dating douchebags ain’t gonna bring you love.”

“Yeah because sleeping with someone new every weekend is so much better,” she replied sarcastically and watched as Harry slid down from the counter when the kettle made a small noise to let them know it was ready.

“Like I said,” he started with a smirk and took down two tea cups from the cupboard. “At least I get something good out of it. You should try.”

She rolled her eyes again but didn’t say anything else as her toast popped up from the toaster. Her dating life was a running joke among her friends and she had learned to ignore the comments they made. She wanted to find love, so she wasn’t going to sit around and wait for it. Some may say she was a bit desperate, and maybe she was, but it wasn’t her fault every guy she met was wrong for her. They were all either too clingy or too uncommitted.

Or maybe she was just a bit too picky.

Either way, she did go on a lot of dates when her schedule allowed her to. She wanted what everyone else around her seemed to have. Her parents acted more in love with each other every time she saw them, even after 30 years of marriage. One of her sisters had just gotten engaged to her long-term boyfriend and her oldest sister had been married for three years already and was expecting her second child. Her younger cousin got married that summer. Any time Y/N traveled back home all her relatives asked her when she was going to find herself a nice young man. It was exhausting. Y/N was stressed. Pressured. So she dated a lot. There was nothing wrong with that, yet people liked to mock her for it, especially Harry since he was the one who she came back home to after a bad date.

He’d usually burst into her room after a date, wanting all the details only so he could laugh about everything that had gone wrong. But then he also always made her a cup of tea and got her some biscuits.

He wasn’t the worst.

“Hey,” Harry said and held out the tea he had made for her. “You wanna watch an episode of The Bridge?”

Y/N stared at him for a second and for the first time ever her heart skipped a beat. It was no secret that Harry was unbelievably attractive, the kind of attractiveness that terrified you before you got to know him. If he hadn’t showed up outside her door she never would’ve had the guts to talk to him. After getting to know him though he was just Harry; her roommate.

But there was something about him right there and then, dressed casually in sweats and a plain t-shirt as he handed her a cup of tea in their kitchen, that just got to her. She quickly snapped herself out of her thoughts to stop her mind from wandering too far and took the tea from him. Must be the hangover.

“Sure, but only one episode,” she replied and picked up her plate of toast as well. “I have to read some shit for my seminar tomorrow and I can’t keep procrastinating.”

They ended up watching more than just one episode.

And Y/N never got around to reading the chapter she needed to read. She only skimmed through it on her way to her seminar, which is why she made a fool out of herself when the lecturer pointed straight at her and asked her to share her thoughts. She wanted to disappear.

And her day didn’t get any better when she stepped in dog shit on her way home.

And it certainly didn’t get any better when she accidentally knocked over her cup of tea and spilled it all over the rug. So instead of getting to lie on the couch and feel sorry for herself, like she had planned, she had to try and save the white rug from getting a stain. It wasn’t a great day.

It was also at that moment Harry came back home; when she was sitting on the floor, scrubbing the rug furiously and muttering profanities under her breath.

“You know,” Harry began to make his presence known. “There’s something about what you're doing right now that’s really turning me on.”

Y/N stopped her scrubbing and looked up at him, not impressed by his joke or by the stupid smirk on his face.

“Oh fuck off,” she swore and simply raised her hand and her middle finger at him. “Or make yourself useful and get some baking soda or something.”

“Bad day?” he asked while putting his guitar case down. She only glared at him.

“What do you think?”

“I’ll just get the baking soda.”

“Good choice.”

They cleaned the rug together and after a good half an hour of scrubbing and googling the best tricks to remove tea stains they managed to save it from getting ruined. Y/N slumped down on the couch again, exhausted and defeated, and took a few deep breaths in an attempt to calm herself down.

What a shit day.

Harry made her a new cup and put away everything they had used to get rid of the spilled one before joining her on the small couch.

“You wanna talk about it?” he asked and squeezed his brows together, uncertain how to approach her.

“I just had a shit day,” she sighed deeply. “Completely fucked up my seminar.”

“I’m sure you didn’t.”

“Ha!” Y/N scoffed. “No, I did. But it was my own fault though, so I can't really cry about it.”

“Well,” Harry scratched the back of his head. “Can I do anything to make you feel better? We could get some pizza and watch a movie or something?”

“I can’t,” she grumbled. “I have an assignment I have to finish by Wednesday and considering how shit I did today I have to focus. I can’t fuck this up too.”

“You have to eat something though.”

“Yeah, I will. I’ll just heat up some of that leftover pasta later or something,” she assured him and maybe if she hadn’t been so frustrated with herself she wouldn’t have confused the way her heart was racing inside her chest with stress; when in reality it was beating extra for the green eyed boy next to her.

Y/N stayed in her room for the rest of the afternoon into the evening, reading and typing away. She wouldn’t say it was going well, but she didn't want to throw her computer out the window and she always appreciated those rare moments.

She could also hear Harry roaming around in the rest of the flat and later on the low strum of his guitar. She smiled to herself when she heard it and didn’t even realise she was humming along to the melody he was playing until he stopped.

And it wasn’t until her stomach growled loudly that she remembered she hadn’t actually had any dinner yet. She made sure to save her work, hitting ‘save’ an extra time because you could never save a document too many times, before closing her laptop and standing up. Her muscles ached from how long she had been in the same position and she winced a little as she stretched them out.

Then her stomach rumbled and she was once again reminded of how hungry she was. It was nearing 11 pm and she hadn’t eaten anything since lunch, which was not good, and she kind of regretted not accepting Harry’s offer about getting pizza before.

But when she made it into the kitchen there was a pink post-it note on the fridge, only this time she wasn’t the one who put it there.

I got some pizza earlier, saved you a few slices in case you want some instead of that old pasta xx H :)

A warm feeling spread through her body as she read his little note, and she couldn’t help but notice that Harry had a surprisingly neat handwriting. It was cute. Both the handwriting and the message. It put a smile on her face.

While the pizza was being reheated she decided to go find Harry and thank him for the nice gesture. She was just about to knock on his door when she noticed that the TV was still on and she spotted him on the couch.

Asleep.

And it was probably cuter than both his handwriting and the message combined.

His whole body took up the small couch; his legs dangled over the armrest and he had his arms crossed over his chest to make himself smaller. There was a slight frown on his face, presumably from the dream he was having, but it was endearing in a way to still see him so relaxed. He had changed out of the blue jeans he had worn last time she saw him and had on his black shorts and the knitted jumper he always just wore around the flat. He looked comfortable. Homely.

A part of her wanted to run back to her room and get her phone so she could snap a picture of him before he woke up.

But an even bigger part of her stopped her from doing so because it felt inappropriate to take a picture of him sleeping. She wasn’t so sure Harry would appreciate her taking pictures of him without him knowing either. So she refrained.

Then, almost like he could feel her watching him sleep like a total creep, he slowly blinked his eyes open, and honestly... it was probably the cutest thing yet. She blushed as he caught her staring.

“Oh, hey,” he said, his voice low and rough, and rubbed his eyes to get the sleep out of them. “What time is it?”

“Mm it’s about 11.”

“Shit, didn’t realise I fell asleep,” he grumbled and sat up, running a hand through his hair. “Did you finish your assignment?”

“Almost,” she told him and smiled softly. “Thanks for the pizza.”

“No worries,” he said and matched her smile.

“Also, I’m sorry for being so cranky before. I was just a bit stressed.”

Harry shook his head.

“It’s okay,” he reassured her. “We’ve all been there.”

Y/N ended up joining him on the couch for a bit after the pizza was done. They didn’t talk much while she ate and Harry flicked through the channels on the TV, before he eventually decided on an old romcom.

When Harry had first shown up outside the flat she had been nervous about living with him. She had only ever lived with girls before, but it had been easier to get along with him than she had first expected. Not that she had heard anything bad about him; Lucy had nothing but nice things to say when she first told her about Nate’s friend who needed a place to live.

She had just assumed it was going to be harder to live with a boy compared to a girl. But Harry made it easy, aside from the dirty dishes and the unknown women in her kitchen Sunday mornings of course, and he was slowly becoming one of her closest friends. While it was terrifying it also felt like the most natural thing. Like he was meant to be in her life.

Which is why she felt so stupid for what happened next.

“They make love seem so easy in these romcoms,” Y/N complained with a huff. “Why don’t I have a gorgeous guy pining after me? I just want someone to have a secret crush on me and then make a big grand gesture. Is that too much to ask?”

“How do you know you don’t?” Harry questioned and she snorted.

“I highly doubt it. Who would that be?”

Harry shrugged.

“Who knows,” he said. “It’s kinda the point of having someone secretly crushing on you, innit?”

“Oh whatever,” she grumbled and Harry laughed. “You have no say in this. I see the way girls stare at you whenever we go out. You probably have a handful of secret admirers. ”

“Are you forgetting the fact that you go on more dates than the rest of us combined?” Harry pointed out and raised his brows at her. “You probably have more admirers than anyone else I know.”

“Not true.”

“So true,” Harry insisted. “You need to stop trying so hard and maybe just let love find you instead.”

“That’s probably the most cliche thing someone has ever told me,” she said and rolled her eyes. “What am I supposed to do then? Sit around and twiddle my thumbs and wait for someone to come knocking on our door and say they love me?”

“No, not at all,” Harry frowned. “I just think that maybe you need to open your eyes and take a step back. Lower your expectations and don’t be so picky. You’re not going to find Prince charming. No one is flawless.”

“You know what? It’s too late to be having this conversation,” she told him and stood up. There was something about what he just said that made her heart sink a little inside her chest. “I’m going to bed.”

“Hey, you okay?” Harry said and caught her wrist to stop her from leaving. “I didn’t mean to offend you.”

“It’s okay,” she said and swallowed thickly. “I’m just tired. It’s been a long day.” His hand was hot on her skin and she couldn’t take her eyes away from his long fingers and how he traced his thumb across her wrist in small circles.

“I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologise.”

He really didn’t. Y/N wasn’t sure why she had suddenly gotten so upset; why she took what he said to heart. It made her feel like a brat almost. She was used to people making fun of her dating life but she didn’t like this.

She didn’t want people to think she was shallow or impossible to please. Especially not Harry.

Because that wasn’t the case. There were plenty of good guys out there and she was far from perfect herself. She had a lot of flaws. Y/N had just never clicked with anyone in the way she wanted to and she wasn’t going to get into a relationship with someone she didn’t feel she connected with one hundred percent.

“Okay,” Harry said with a heavy sigh and let go of her wrist. “Goodnight then.”

“Night.”

Harry still had a frown on his face as he watched her take her plate back into the kitchen and Y/N could feel her pulse racing as she felt his eyes on her. It was awkward and she was embarrassed for how she had just handled everything. It wasn’t even a big deal. He hadn’t said anything she hadn’t thought of herself before. Harry was just giving her advice.

So why did she feel so upset?

It was the first time she had ever gotten even the tiniest bit self-conscious about the amount of dates she went on, and as she crawled into bed she couldn’t help but wonder if she felt like this because it was Harry.

It was also the first time she realised she cared a lot about what he thought of her.

She wanted Harry to like her.

Y/N got her period a day later and just like that everything she had felt on Monday made so much sense. Of course. Luckily everything was completely fine between her and Harry the morning after she left him on the couch and they even baked some brownies Tuesday evening because Y/N was craving chocolate, which also made sense when she woke up with stains in her underwear and cramps in her lower region on Wednesday.

Despite that though she had quite a good day. She managed to finish her assignment in time and she didn’t hate it; she was maybe even a little bit pleased with it. She bought herself a new pair of sneakers that were on sale and an eyeshadow palette she had been wanting for a while. Her and Harry got chinese food for dinner before meeting the rest of the gang down at the pub.

Wednesdays meant quiz night and Y/N teamed up with Tara and together they managed to win first prize which gave them £50 to spend at the bar.

Y/N blamed the alcohol for everything that happened after that.

She tripped on her way over to the toilets. She accidentally managed to somehow elbow Connor in the face. She also spilled half a pint of beer all over herself, leaving a huge wet stain on her trousers so it looked like she pissed herself.

But she was still in good spirits.

Until she spotted Harry at the bar with a tall gorgeous girl. Their faces were close and even from the booth she was sitting in she could see his dimples. It left a sour taste in her mouth watching the pair talk and it annoyed her how easily Harry once again had a girl swooning over him. Why was he even off flirting with some random girl when they were all supposed to be there together? And why was he so good at it? And why did he look so good doing it?

Y/N rolled her eyes when the girl giggled and reached out to touch his bicep. Disgusting.

“Hello?” Lucy snapped her fingers in front of Y/N’s face. “You still with us?”

“What?” She tore her eyes away from the scene that was taking place at the bar and turned her attention back to her two friends. “Yeah, of course.” She faked a laugh and took a long sip from her beer. Lucy and Tara shared a look, but they didn’t say anything else about it which she was thankful for.

Mostly because she had no idea how to explain any of it. She glanced over at Harry and the girl again and tried to understand why her chest suddenly felt so tight. It must be the alcohol.

And oh, right, of course, she had her period.

It was her hormones; the only logical explanation.

Satisfied with the answer to her own confusion she threw herself back into the conversation around the table, ignoring the fact that she could still see Harry and the girl in the corner of her eye.

Then Declan showed up at their table with a round of vodka shots for everyone because he knew the bartender and got them for free.

Who was she to say no to free shots?

But she really should’ve.

The strong liquid didn’t sit right with her and instead of giving her a bigger buzz her head felt heavy and her ears were ringing. She also felt a little bit sick; the chinese food she had had with Harry slowly rising in the back of her throat. Taking shots had never really ended well for her but drunk Y/N still always seemed to think it was a fantastic idea.

It was a good thing she didn’t have a lecture or anything the next day, because her hangover was not going to be pretty.

And Y/N didn’t bother saying goodbye to anyone before she unexpectedly jumped out of her seat, got her coat and stumbled outside. She needed fresh air and she couldn’t wait.

The second she stepped outside into the cold autumn night she instantly felt better. The nausea from the stuffy pub atmosphere disappeared and she sat down on the curb next to the road and took a few deep breaths.

“Hey there Quiz-Queen, you alright?”

Harry.

She glanced up at him and even though he had called her by the nickname she had jokingly given herself after winning first-prize he was looking down at her with concerned eyes. Her purse hung from his shoulder, she hadn’t even realised she had left it behind, and he had his own long and vibrant plaid coat wrapped around himself; protecting him from the cold.

“Yeah,” she said and took another deep breath. “I just needed some air.”

“Hm,” Harry hummed, relieved she was okay. “Maybe next time let the rest of us know where you’re going and don’t just get up and leave.”

“Are you mad at me?”

“Not at all,” Harry assured and shook his head. “Just want to make sure you’re safe. I don’t think that £50 bar tab was the best thing for a lightweight like you.”

“Oiii,” she pouted. “That’s mean. You’re just jealous you didn’t win. How many right answers did you guys get again? 6 out of 20?”

“It’s not about winning, it’s about having fun,” Harry said with a smug smile and a twinkle in his eyes that he only ever got when he thought he was being clever. “And I had fun.”

“Oh give it a rest,” she scoffed but there was still a smile on her face. “You love to win, don’t stand there and pretend to be a good loser when I know how competitive you can get.”

Harry laughed and she felt butterflies come alive inside her stomach as she watched his dimples appear. This time for her and not for some stupid girl at the bar.

“C’mon Silly-girl, let’s get you home,” he said, ignoring her comment about him being a sore loser, and offered his hand to help her up. His fingers were strong around hers and her skin was tingling as she watched her own hand disappear in his.

Once back up on her feet she had to hold onto Harry for a second to stop her head from spinning so much. She wasn’t sure if it was because of the alcohol anymore or her hormones... or if it was merely just because of Harry.

It was just easier to blame the alcohol or her period, so that’s what she did.

Harry had an arm around her to support her swaying body as they made their way over to the bus stop, holding her close to him. He smelled like beer and the shampoo she always secretly sniffed when she took a shower. It was something she would never admit out loud, or sober, but she loved the smell of it.

Sometimes she had considered using it on her own hair, it was just so fresh and relaxing, so Harry, but it was also one of those things she wasn’t so sure he would appreciate her doing.

“We should’ve stopped to get some food,” she muttered and slumped back against her seat on the bus. “I’m starving and I’m craving something salty.”

“I can make us something when we get home,” Harry offered.

“Really?” Y/N perked up. ”Could you?”

“Yeah, I’m a bit hungry as well.”

“Oh my gosh, have I ever told you you’re the best roommate?”

“Pretty sure you haven’t,” Harry laughed. "I do, however, have a lot of post-it notes that one could argue suggest the opposite."

“I saw you talking to a girl earlier. She was very pretty.” It slipped out before Y/N had the chance to think twice about it. “I’m sorry you’re stuck with me now and didn’t get to go home with her.”

Harry didn’t laugh at that but he still had the same twinkle in his eyes as before and a fond smile on his lips.

“Don’t worry about it,” he said and suddenly his hand was on her knee and he gave it a gentle squeeze; causing her hormones to act up again so her heart skipped a beat. “You’re not the worst person to be stuck with.”

As expected her hangover wasn’t pretty the next day.

She woke up with a raging headache and an upset stomach. After Harry had made them both some food she had been too tired to go wash her make-up off so the girl staring back at her in the bathroom mirror had black mascara smudges all around her eyes and golden glitter eyeshadow smeared across her bloated face. It was a tragedy. She was a tragedy.

However, the thing that made her hangover feel even worse was when she walked into the kitchen and saw the all dirty pans and plates from her and Harry’s late night meal. Pangs of guilt instantly swept through her. Harry was already gone by the time she woke up. He had an early seminar, which she knew he did because he had told her before they met up with the others at the pub, and she felt terrible that she had kept him up half the night only to make her food. He couldn’t have gotten more than two hours of sleep and it filled her up with guilt.

So much guilt she didn’t leave him a post-it note telling him the kitchen was a mess, because that would’ve just been super fucking rude since it was her fault he was even in the kitchen cocking at 3 am in the first place. Instead she washed up and decided to go out and get his favorite snacks as a thank you, and also because she was craving more chocolate and a fizzy drink.

Being hungover while having your period was really not the best combination.

Y/N hid her tousled hair under a beanie and put on a quick layer of foundation in an attempt to cover up her blotchy skin. It didn’t really help her feel much better about her appearance so she decided to put on a scarf as well to disguise herself as much as possible, just in case she’d run into someone she knew on her way to the store. She didn’t want to be recognised. Not today.

But of course Y/N wasn’t that lucky.

She ran into three people from her course, who all stopped her and chit-chatted to her about their seminars and latest assignment, all while she stood there with a basket full of various brands of crisps, drinks and candy feeling and looking like an absolute troll.

And that wasn’t even the worst.

No.

Because naturally it was also the day she bumped into someone, quite literally, in the stairs on her way back up to the flat.

Y/N yelped and accidentally dropped her bag of snacks as she tried to find her balance. A pair of hands caught her by the shoulders before she fell backwards and when she looked up to see who she had crashed into her whole face turned red.

“Shit, I’m so sorry!” she apologized with wide eyes, her heart beating fast inside her chest.

“No worries,” the man in front of her said and removed his hands from her shoulders, but she kind of wished he hadn’t because his voice was so deep and smoky her knees weakened as he spoke.

Not to mention he had the most stunning pair of eyes she had ever seen. They were a deep, earthy brown color with perfectly long eyelashes she could only ever dream of. He was utterly breathtaking with his long dark hair, scruffy stubble and nose piercing, that she usually didn’t really like on boys but the stranger in front of her made it work. Oh how he made it work.

And as he leaned down to pick up her bag for her she caught a whiff of his fragrance and her knees were seconds away from giving up all together.

“Thank you,” she managed to croak out as he handed her the bag full of snacks and prayed he hadn’t seen what was in it. She looked pathetic enough as it was and she racked her brain for something else to say but there was nothing. Y/N was left completely gobsmacked by the breathtaking man she had just crashed into. Her cheeks only getting hotter and hotter for every second she stood there like a total idiot just staring at him in awe. “I’m Y/N.”

Y/N wanted nothing more than to just sink through the floor in embarrassment. The stranger, thankfully, reached out and shook her extended hand with an amused smile on his lips.

“Luke.”

Luke let his eyes wander up and down her body, taking in her attire, and she had never felt so unattractive as she did in that moment. Why didn’t she at least take a shower before going out? Fuck.

“Right,” she nodded and reached up to adjust her beanie a little, as if it was going to make her look any better. “So eh... do you live here? I haven’t seen you around before.”

What was she doing?

“I do,” Luke confirmed. “I moved in a couple days ago.”

“Awesome.”

Awesome? Fucking idiot.

She was definitely losing her mind. While she did go on a lot of dates she had not been blessed with the ability to make small talk.

“I’m guessing you live here as well?” Luke asked and ran a hand through his hair to push back a couple of strands from his face. It was the hottest thing she had ever seen.

“Yeah,” Y/N confirmed, her mouth dry, and she licked her lips nervously. “I’m on the top floor... aaand I should really get going. My roommate is waiting for me.”

“Of course.”

“It was nice to meet you though. Welcome to the building.” Her heart was still racing. “Again, I’m sorry for crashing into you.”

“Like I said, don’t worry about it. It was good to meet you too,” Luke told her and gave her a small wink. “See you around.”

And Y/N didn’t know how it happened but a strange cackle escaped her lips as he winked at her and she ran off before she could witness his reaction to it.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” she muttered to herself all the way up to her and Harry’s flat.

Once she got inside she fell back against the door and tried to catch her breath, from both practically running up five flights of stairs and the encounter she had just had with probably the hottest man alive.

She really was pathetic.

After she got herself together she shrugged off her coat and pulled off her stupid beanie, cursing herself yet again for not taking a shower before going to the store. She could at least have put on a cute outfit. But no. She went out looking like a slob.

And as she sauntered into the flat she realised that Harry was home again, and with him were Nate, Lucy and Connor as well.

“Well if it isn’t the Quiz-Queen herself,” Nate teased when he saw her and bowed his head mockingly from where he was sitting on the couch. “Glad to see that you’re still alive after last night.”

“We have a new neighbour,” Y/N informed them, ignoring Nate and his teasing comments, because the new neighbour was the only thing on her mind. “I crashed into him on my way up. Literally. I made a complete fool out of myself.”

“Nothing new then,” Connor joked.

“Ha-ha,” Y/N said dryly. “For real though, he was the hottest man I’ve ever seen. He was unreal.”

“Really?” It got Lucy’s attention and she perked up from where she was sitting on the couch with Nate. “What did he look like?”

“Like a damn model right off the runway,” Y/N groaned and collapsed in one of the armchairs. “I’m telling you, he was unreal. Eyelashes that went on forever. Tall. Cheekbones that could cut glass and his hair was soooooo shiny. He didn’t have a single flaw. He even made a nose piercing look good and you know how I feel about those.”

“Aw, I wanna see him too,” Lucy pouted. “Did you get his name?”

“Luke.”

“So our serial dater has another date then I’m assuming,” Connor sniggered.

“I wish,” Y/N replied with a sigh. “I could hardly get a word out. I just stood there and stared at him like a creep.”

“You could always go over and ask to borrow a cup of sugar,” Nate suggested and wiggled his eyebrows. “And then just suck him off to return the favor.”

“You’re an idiot,” Y/N said and raised her middle finger towards him. It also earned him a slap on the arm from Lucy as she scolded her boyfriend. Connor laughed and made a comment about how it would be the perfect porn scene.

And it was also in that moment Y/N realised Harry hadn’t said anything since she had joined them. She glanced over at him where he sat in the armchair across from her and frowned. He looked tired and it caused the guilt in her to rise up again. In addition to that it troubled her that he wasn’t saying anything about the new neighbour or joining in on the jokes. He just sat in his seat and kept his eyes glued to the TV and the random show that was airing. “Harry?”

“What?”

There was something about how he spoke and how he turned to look at her that made her feel even worse. His voice was taut and low. His eyes burned right through her. It was far from the Harry she was used to. She wanted to ask him what was wrong but she also didn’t want to do so in front of the others if they hadn’t noticed it themselves.

“Um, I got some snacks if you want some,” Y/N said instead. She wasn’t sure if the others had noticed at all but she didn’t like it. Maybe he was angry with her for making him stay up so late? What if it had made him late for his seminar?

“Thank you,” he replied half-heartedly and turned his attention back to the TV without another word. Confusion filled the room and she met Lucy’s baffled expression for a split second. Okay they had noticed. Fuck. Y/N looked at Harry again and there was so much she wanted to ask him but at the same time she was at a loss for words. It wasn’t like him to be so tense. Not one bit.

She didn’t like it.

On Saturday they were all, once again, out getting drunk. After her hangover on Thursday Y/N had told herself she wasn’t going to drink again that week, but Harry was still being acting weird around her so she was easily persuaded.

Because she needed a drink.

Harry hadn’t really done anything, which was also part of the problem. She hadn’t seen him all Friday or Saturday, not until he turned up for pre-drinks at Connor’s flat. And once he was there he didn’t even look at her or talk to her. It bothered her. A lot. She hadn’t had the chance to ask him what was wrong and nothing was making sense. She tried to remember if she had said something inappropriate to him on Wednesday, but no matter how hard she tried she couldn’t figure out why he was being off with her.

Which is why, after a couple of drinks, she took the first chance she got to confront him about it.

She spotted him alone at one of the tables inside the club they were at and marched right up, ignoring the people she accidentally bumped into on her way, and plopped herself down on the leather sofa next to him. The beer she was carrying spilled over in her hand as she did but she paid no attention to it and Harry looked at her with questioning eyes.

“What’s going on with you?” Y/N wasted no time. The music was loud around them and she had to lean into him to make sure he heard her, his curls tickled her upper lip from how close she was. Harry only shrugged.

“Nothing is going on.”

“Oh really? Could’ve fooled me,” she said, almost shouting because of the music, and rolled her eyes. “You’re acting strange.”

“Nothing is going on,” Harry repeated and pursed his lips, looking away from her. Y/N tilted her head forward, to force him to look at her again, and waved her hand in front of his face.

“Look at me then,” she cried out in frustration. “Stop ignoring me and tell me what’s going on!”

It wasn’t the best spot for them to be having a conversation. A couple of people from the tables around them looked over curiously and the dim lights and loud music of club made it harder than what she would’ve liked. She had originally planned to talk to him that morning but he had gone out before she even woke up and it was the last sign she needed to know that he was avoiding her. So talking to him at a busy club felt like the only option.

She flinched back as Harry unexpectedly turned to face her, almost knocking his head into hers.

”You know for wanting to find love so badly you’re really fucking blind.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Y/N frowned. Harry scoffed.

“You’re so oblivious,” he began. “If you just stopped being so desperate and so obsessed with finding the perfect guy for one damn second then maybe you’d-” Harry stopped himself and pressed his lips together in a thin line as he looked down at the beer in his hands.

“Then what Harry?” she demanded, and didn’t even bother to try calm the anger that was stirring inside her. Harry ignoring her made her feel worse than she ever could’ve imagined. Nothing could’ve prepared her for it. She hated it. “I wouldn’t be so unlovable?”

“I never said that.”

“You didn’t have to.”

“Don’t,” Harry warned. “You know I would never say that. Don’t be daft.”

“Do I?” she kept challenging him. The alcohol in her bloodstream gave her enough courage to not back down. Even if the loud music made it harder to hear what the other one was saying there was no way she was going to drop it. She needed to know what was going on. She couldn’t go another day with Harry ignoring her; she was too used to having him around for him to just cut her off.

“Yes, you do,” he spat.

“But you think I’m desperate?” she spat back and Y/N wasn’t sure why she was picking a fight with him in the middle of a full packed club, but she was.

Because at least he was talking to her.

“Yeah I do,” Harry admitted and licked his lips. She struggled to breathe a little after that. Her chest felt too tight. “Why are you so set on having the perfect relationship? No couple is perfect.”

“Lucy and Nate are,” she stated, not wanting her facade to falter in front of him. Her throat was dry but her eyes were burning with wet tears because she hated this. She hated it so much.

“No, they’re not,” Harry sneered loudly. “Both of them are far from fucking perfect. Nate is a menace and Lucy is a nutter.”

“Harry, don’t be a dick.”

“What? So just because they’re my friends I’m only allowed see the good in them? I still love both of them and they still love each other even if they’re not perfect,” he insisted. “You know they end up arguing like every night we go out, right? Over something stupid Nate said or some insane shit Lucy did. Do you know how many times Lucy has asked me for advice when it comes to Nate? They’re not perfect.”

“So I’m desperate because I want to find someone who is perfect for me?”

“What if you already have?”

“What?”

The music was still loud around them but suddenly the only thing she could hear was her own beating heart.

And suddenly she became aware of just how close the two of them actually were. Harry’s nose brushed against hers as his mouth carefully, barely, grazed her lips. His breath was hot on her face and oh wow, had his eyelashes always been that long?

Y/N wanted to reach out and touch him, but the way he was looking at her made her unable to move any part of her body. She was frozen; waiting for him to make the next move because she was far too overwhelmed by his presence to do anything herself. He was so close. Too close -- but at the same time not close enough. She wondered if he could hear her heart as well.

“Oi, oi!”

Out of the blue Declan flopped down next to her on the sofa and just like that she was brought back into reality and away from Harry’s green eyes. Declan had two pints of beer with him and grinned at the two of them; clueless to what he had just interrupted. He didn’t come alone though, soon the rest of the gang had gathered around the small table. All so clueless.

Y/N watched as Harry drank what was left of his beer and glared at Declan and the rest while she tried to stop her head from spinning so much. What had just happened?

They were all talking around her but their voices got lost in the loud music and her own thoughts.

‘What if you already have?’ what was that even supposed to mean?

She wanted to turn and look at Harry again but she was too scared of what he might do or say and too scared that everyone else was going to notice something was wrong and ask them about it. Instead she just kept her eyes down to where her thigh was pressing into Harry’s after Declan had squeezed himself down beside them.

Thankfully no one else seemed to pick up on tension between the two of them but Y/N still regretted absolutely everything about her decision to talk to Harry. It hadn’t helped make anything clearer and she was now stuck next to him in a busy club with their drunk friends. Great.

To make things worse she then, out of nowhere, heard someone call her name and she nearly dropped her drink as she noticed who it belonged to. Well fuck.

“Luke.”

His name fell from her lips as soon as she spotted him waving at her. He came up and stood behind Nate and Lucy, with his hands in his pockets and his hair slicked back perfectly. Lucy was quick to turn around to get a look at the guy Y/N had been raving about just a couple days ago. Then she looked at Y/N again with her jaw hanging open and gave her a look that confirmed Luke was indeed as flawless as he had been described.

The tension was thick and awkward as Luke stood before her and her friends, more specifically Harry, and Y/N could feel him tense up beside her as he stared Luke down. She had no idea what to say or do. “This is our new neighbour I was telling you about,” was the only thing she could think of. The smirk on Luke’s face as he heard that she had been talking about him didn’t go unnoticed.

“Y’alright then?” Luke asked and nodded towards Y/N. She couldn’t breathe. How was he there? After everything that had just happened with Harry... where did Luke even come from? She hadn’t processed her conversation with Harry yet, how was she supposed to have a conversation with Luke again, in front of everyone, when her head was so scrambled?

“Yeah, I’m great.” What a fucking lie.

“Can I buy you a drink?”

“Oh.” What was happening? “Ummmm, I don’t - well I - ehm I-”

“Yes! She would love a drink!” Tara interrupted her with a big grin, and any other time she would’ve been grateful for her friend stepping in and helping, but now? “Wouldn’t you?” Y/N wasn’t even sure.

“I ehhh - well, I guess so?”

What?

Her whole body was screaming NO when she got up and felt Harry’s warmth leave her side. His eyes burned into her back and it was a miracle she even made it to the bar with Luke without vomiting right there and then.

Two days ago, when she first bumped into Luke, all she wanted was to go on a date with him. But something had changed. Something inside her had clicked, and it wasn’t her hormones or the alcohol this time. All she could think about as Luke talked to her and bought her a new drink was how he wasn’t Harry.

Luke didn’t know how she liked her tea. Luke didn’t know she couldn’t go straight to bed after watching a thriller or anything that resembled a scary movie; she needed to watch something more upbeat and cheerful before going to sleep. Luke didn’t know she liked to keep things in order. Luke didn’t know she ate her weight in chocolate when she got her period. Luke didn’t know she loved mint chocolate chip ice cream. Luke didn’t know she called her mum at least once a day. Luke didn’t know she was desperate to find love.

Harry did.

Harry knew all those things.

And as she stood at the bar with Luke she realised he wasn’t actually flawless. He was still gorgeous, only a little less breathtaking that time around because he knew he looked good and he wasn’t humble about it. He smelled like cigarettes and she hated the smell of smoke mixed with his strong cologne. It gave her a headache. He also couldn’t keep his eyes off her cleavage and didn’t bother asking her anything about herself.

His nose piercing didn’t even look that good.

Luke wasn’t flawless and she didn’t really like him.

Harry wasn’t flawless either... but she still liked him.

“And that’s when we-”

“You know what Luke,” she interrupted and put a finger up to stop him from talking. “I think I have to get back to my friends. But um... “ She glanced at the drink he had bought her before picking it up and downed it in one go, because he had paid for it and the least she could do was drink it. The alcohol burned a little in the back of her throat and she accidentally spilled a few drops down her shirt. She hardly noticed though because she was just aching to get back to her friends. Luke looked at her with wide eyes and a puzzled expression. “Thanks for the drink! I’ll see you around.”

With that she walked off with just one thing, or rather someone, on her mind.

But that someone wasn’t there when she found her friends again. She spotted Lucy and her bright dress sitting on Nate’s lap. She spotted Tara having a conversation with a girl from the table next to them. She spotted Declan and Connor laughing loudly over something on their phones.

She did not spot Harry.

Tara was the first one to notice her standing there just staring at the empty seat where Harry was sat a while ago. Tara excused herself from the conversation she was having and came up to Y/N, putting a gentle hand on her shoulder.

“You okay?”

“Where is Harry?”

“He left,” Tara told her. “I think.”

“Hey, what’s going on?” Lucy came up to her as well, with a small frown on her face, worried something had happened. “Is everything alright?”

“I need to talk to Harry,” Y/N said and looked around the club; hoping to spot his curls somewhere in the crowd. Her eyes stung with tears when she couldn’t see him.

“He left after you walked off,” Lucy confirmed softly. “Is everything alright? Did something happen with Luke?”

“Yes- I mean no. I have to go,” was all she told them before she rushed off. “I need Harry.”

Y/N wasn’t aware of the three words that left her mouth but it didn’t make them any less true. It all made so much sense. It had clicked. ‘What if you already have?’

Yes.

How could she have been so blind?

When she finally made it home she was out of breath from running all the way from the bus stop to their flat. She prayed Harry had actually gone home and not continued his night at some other club. She wasn’t sure what she’d do if he had.

But as soon as she stepped inside she heard the familiar sound of his guitar coming from his bedroom and she didn’t even bother catching her breath before walking across the flat in a couple of strides. She hadn't really thought anything through. Her whole body was just screaming at her that she needed Harry and it couldn't wait.

Harry left his dirty dishes out. He sometimes forgot to put the toilet seat down. He was disorganized. He did not only leave his dirty dishes out but he could also leave his dirty socks lying around the flat. He didn't like the same music as her. He could be petty and immature. He had ignored her for two days.

But Harry also made her tea when she was having a bad day. He made her laugh. He made her food in middle of the night. He always asked about her day. He helped her home when she got too drunk. He sometimes surprised her with breakfast. He understood her. He made her feel at ease and she could always be herself around him.

All of the good thing outweighed the bad, and the bad was only part of who he was; Harry, her roommate, her friend, the boy who she hadn't realised gave her butterflies until now.

And perhaps she should’ve knocked or at least made her presence known in any other way because as she slung his bedroom door open Harry was visibly startled and a sour note came from his guitar. He looked at her with wide eyes.

“Y/N? What the fuck?”

“Do I have any flaws?” she asked him breathlessly.

“What?” he asked. “What do you mean?”

“What about me annoys you?”

“Shouldn’t you be off getting a drink with Mr. Flawess himself.”

“Well I changed my mind. Now just answer the question,” she urged, wanting to cut straight to the chase. Harry frowned and she wasn’t really sure if he was angry with her or just confused. Maybe both? It didn’t matter though, she just needed answers before she passed out from the anxiety running through her. “Do I have any flaws?”

“I - yeah. You do,” he said. Y/N nodded and stepped further into his room, wanting to be closer to him. “Why?”

“Just - wait,” she told him and ignored his question by asking her own. “What are they?”

Harry didn’t reply at first. He just sat in silence and stared at her with his brows still pressed together in a frown. God, what if she had gotten it all wrong? She’d have to give up the flat to Harry and move out, leave Manchester, maybe even leave the UK. She’d be absolutely mortified; she’d never recover from it.

Just as she lost all hope and considered running off to hide in her own bedroom for the rest of the night, possibly for the rest of the term, Harry slowly put his guitar to the side. He rubbed his hand over his chin and pinched the bottom of his lip between his index finger and his thumb, contemplating his next few words cautiously.

“You’re incredibly stubborn,” he told her and despite the fact that he had just basically insulted her a wave relief washed over her as he finally said something.

“Okay, what else?”

“You ask way too many questions during a movie.”

“Okay.”

“You overthink absolutely everything.”

“More.”

“You leave notes around the flat over the most meaningless things.”

“Well maybe you shouldn’t leave the kitchen a mess then.”

“You have too much milk in your tea.”

“You don’t have enough.”

Harry cracked a smile but it faltered almost just as quickly.

“You want love but don’t see the person right in front of you who has fallen head over heels for you.”

Y/N had never seen or heard him as vulnerable as he was right there and then. For a moment she wondered if maybe she had misheard him but judging by his nervous fidgeting and how he for the first time ever struggled to look her in the eyes she quickly realised she hadn’t.

“I do now,” she admitted quietly, almost too quiet, and shifted her weight from one foot to the other awkwardly. “I see you.”

Harry still heard her and looked right into her eyes as he took a sharp breath. Her body ached to feel his touch as she stood in the middle of his room, terrified of what she was about to ask next, but there was no going back. It was, after all, the reason she had followed him home. “And you still like me despite all my flaws?”

“Well,” Harry started and fought back a smile. “I suppose I wouldn’t have saved all your notes if I didn't.”

It was really all it took for her to close the space between them and throw herself over him. Harry was quick to catch her and his arms wrapped around her body tightly, holding her close, as she pressed her lips to his.

It was strange kissing him and she didn’t quite know where to put her own hands at first, but it felt right that much she knew. Her whole body was on fire from just a simple little kiss. Y/N never wanted it to stop. Harry grinned against her lips before deepening the kiss and sneaked his hands in under her blazer, pushing it off her shoulders before running his hands over her body.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and it was almost ridiculous how giddy she felt. Harry made her feel drunk, more so than the alcohol in her body. Nothing had ever tasted as good as him. She was completely lost in him and his warmth.

It wasn’t until she felt him pull at her trousers that she was reminded of reality again and she pulled away from his lips. “You okay?” Harry asked immediately.

“Yeah,” she panted and leaned her forehead against his, twirling the hair in the back of his neck around her finger carefully. “I just... I still got my period.”

“Okay,” Harry nodded and tightened his grip on her, still holding her close, and she was sure she could feel his heartbeat against hers. “S’that all? Because frankly I don’t really care about a little blood right now.”

“Oh.”

“Do you?”

“I... no.”

“You sure?” Harry wondered and placed his fingers under her chin and angled her face so he could look into her eyes. He saw right through her and her mind was hazy as her body melted right into his. Harry made her feel safe and comfortable and it was all she needed to know she was sure.

She needed him.

“Give me a second,” she said and gave him a quick peck before getting off him. It pained her to do so but even as she made her way over to the bathroom to remove her tampon, perhaps one of the most unattractive things you could do, Harry’s eyes on her as she walked away made her feel sexier than she ever had before.

She didn’t waste a single second inside the bathroom and quickly did what she had to before she just about ran back to Harry’s bedroom. She caught a quick glimpse of herself in the mirror and couldn’t help but laugh. She looked dazed. But in the best possible way. Her cheeks were rosy. Her hair was messy. Lips swollen. It was the first time she had ever seen herself look so radiant. Glowing almost.

Happy.

She also decided to not put her trousers back on after she was done in the bathroom, because why waste time when she was planning to take them off soon anyway?

And Harry seemed to have had the same idea because when she came back he had already removed his floral shirt and his beige trousers as well. His lips were the same colour as her lipstick and he didn’t even try to hide the fact that he was staring at her bare legs and underwear. It made her whole body tingle and she didn’t mind him gawking, because she couldn’t take her own eyes away from his naked chest and the bulge between his legs.

“Come here,” Harry murmured and held out his hand for her to take. He gently pulled at her arm until she was sitting on top of him on the bed, straddling his hips. The lack of clothing on both of them made her blush as he embraced her and she felt all of him under her.

Harry cupped one of his hands under her jaw and leaned in to kiss her again. It started out slow but as soon as his lips touched her a soft moan came from her. His lips were slightly chapped and yet they were the best lips she had ever kissed. It didn't matter that they weren’t perfectly soft. Not one bit. Y/N never wanted to kiss anyone else ever again.

The kiss quickly deepend and she had her hands in his hair, tugging at his soft curls and getting lost in the taste of his lips. She was throbbing against him and knew he could also feel just how desperately she wanted him through the thin lace of her panties. His lips were eager against hers and she was too lost in him to notice he had blindly reached out to the bedside table and sought out a condom.

It wasn’t until she felt his hand and the small foil packet brush against her leg that she realised. She pulled back and met his green eyes, breathing hard as she tried to find her words to speak. He looked back at her with questioning eyes, silently asking her if she was alright with what was happening between them, and she just nodded.

She sat back to give him some room and watched as he pulled himself out of his boxers and then helped him get them off before he rolled the condom over his length. The sight alone made her light-headed and, if he hadn’t already, she was sure he could hear how hard her heart was beating. He also caught her staring but she didn’t really care and he only pulled her back into him.

He kissed her along her collarbone, sucking lightly at the skin as he made his way up to her neck. Y/N closed her eyes and hummed with pleasure as she tilted her head to the side to give him better access. Harry ran his hands up and down her back and then slipped his hands in under the tank top she was wearing before he pulled it off her swiftly.

Harry took a few seconds to stare at her naked chest when he discovered she wasn’t wearing a bra before he kissed each of her breasts lightly, making her nipples hard. Y/N just cupped his face and pulled his head up so she could kiss him again, impatient and desperate to feel him inside her and he giggled against her lips.

Harry only pushed the crotch of her underwear to the side when he lined himself up under her. She gasped as she slowly sank down onto him and had to break their kiss. Harry had one hand around her thigh and the other on the back of her head, her hair twisted between his fingers, as they breathed the same air.

When she eventually started to move her hips after getting used to the stretch of him he groaned softly, low in his throat, and tightened the grip he had on her. “Fuck, you feel so good.”

Her blood rushed inside her and her whole chest and face flushed from hearing his words and how hoarse his voice was. She put her hands on his stomach, her fingers digging into his skin around his tattoo, before lifting her hips and taking all of him again; craving the friction created between the two of them.

Harry moaned and let his head fall backwards, breathing heavily, and she couldn’t take her eyes away from his strong jawline. She also couldn’t stop herself from kissing him right there and Harry moaned again as he felt her lips on his skin.

It made her smile; knowing she was having the same affect on him that he had on her.

Y/N did her best to find a steady rhythm riding him but her thighs were trembling around him and it had been awhile since she had been on top of anyone. She had almost forgotten how to do it. Harry bucked his hips up into her and she barely had time to react before he impatiently flipped them over and yanked her underwear off.

A loud moan left her lips as he pushed right back into her and instantly built up a new quicker pace, giving her all of him and hitting the spot in her that made her toes curl. He leaned down and connected their mouths again. His chest was slick with sweat as his body pressed against hers and her hands were all over him because she just couldn’t decide where to put them. She wanted all of him.

And when Harry hoisted himself up and hooked one of her legs over his shoulder to get deeper she didn’t care if any of their neighbours heard her.

“Oh my god.”

Then his fingers were stroking her between her legs and it quite literally took her breath away. Her whole body was trembling as she felt every hot and thick inch of him. Her release was close, she could feel it in the pit of her stomach and he could see it on her as he continued to move above her.

And not once did Harry lose his pace or falter when her nails scratched his back and she clenched tightly around him as her orgasm swept through her body. He kept thrusting into her while she moaned and shivered beneath him.

Just as she came down from her high he got his own release and came with a loud sigh of relief. He continued to move his hips against hers until his muscles gave up from exhaustion and he collapsed on top of her.

They stayed like that for a few minutes, both spent, and she tried to catch her breath.

Which was hard seeing as he was still on top of her and she could still feel him inside her.

When he raised his head to look down at her, grinning from ear to ear, her whole stomach fluttered. And this time she knew it was because of Harry. It wasn’t because of alcohol. Not because she had a hangover. Not because she was stressed. Maybe because of a few hormones.

But there were just no excuses.

Eventually Harry got up. He removed the used condom and retrieved a small towel to clean himself up quickly before handing it over and climbing back into bed with her.

Y/N curled up against his chest and let him run his fingers through her hair, gently scratching the top of her head, and she was seconds away from falling asleep when he spoke up.

“I’m sorry for calling you desperate.”

Y/N tilted her head up to look at him.

“S’okay, I have been a little.”

“Still,” he mumbled. “Wasn’t really fair of me.”

“You know you could’ve just told me.”

“I was going to,” Harry admitted with a low chuckle. “But you always came back home announcing you were going on another date so it never really felt like the right time.”

“Hmm, well you didn’t really help yourself by bringing a girl back like every weekend,” she pointed out and laughed lightly. “It was hard to not be blind.”

“Had to try to forget about you somehow,” Harry admitted and pressed a kiss to the top of her head, letting his lips linger for a few seconds before continuing. “But you and your stupid post-it notes made it hard.”

“Did you really save all of them?” she asked and pushed herself up so she was leaning on her elbows. She couldn’t stop herself from grinning proudly. Harry laughed and tipped his head back, covering his face with his hands as his cheeks turned pink.

“God, I’m gonna regret telling you that aren’t I?”

“Maybe,” she laughed again before giving his chest a quick kiss, just because she could. “I do kind of enjoy writing them for you though.”

“Of course you do,” Harry said and peaked out from behind his hands with a cheeky smile. “And I enjoy leaving the kitchen a mess because I know you’ll leave me a new one,” he confessed and tapped her nose.

“I fuckin’ knew it!” she exclaimed with a gasp and shoved him away from her playfully. “You absolute knobhead!”

Harry only laughed and pulled her back into his warm body.

On her way back home from the club Y/N had been a little bit worried that she was wrong or that it was going to be weird to go from roommates to more with Harry -- but it felt like the most natural thing. It felt just as natural as everything else they already did together, and maybe that was why she had been so picky recently. Maybe it was why she looked for flaws in every guy she dated so she had an excuse to not see them again. She had already found what she wanted; she just hadn’t realised. How stupid.

“Hey Harry?”

“Hm?”

“Would you like to go on a date with me?”

please let me know your thoughts here ! And please share it if you liked it, it would mean a lot to me! 💛

#Harry Styles fanfiction #Harry Styles fanfic #Harry Styles writing #Harry Styles oneshot #Harry Styles one shot #Harry Styles fluff #Harry Styles smut #Harry Styles #Fallinharry10k

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gaylotusthatexists · 4 years ago

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something wrong

pairing: logicality

summary: Logan feels like there’s something wrong with him. Patton helps him to realise there isn’t.

trigger warnings: break up, questioning sexuality

word count: 1500

a/n: day twenty two!!!! today’s prompt was ‘self discovery’. this was a lot of fun for me to write (although i am sorry for. the bit in the middle haha sorry pat). i hope y’all enjoy this <3

ao3

Whenever anybody asked Logan who his celebrity crush was, he never knew what to say. Same with when he was asked when he was going to get a girlfriend, or if he liked anyone from his class. Or when they were doing a writing exercise in English and had to describe their dream date or their dream girl and Logan couldn't picture anything for the life of him.

He would sometimes lay in his bed at night, staring at the ceiling, and try to figure out what was wrong with him. No matter how hard he tried, he could never imagine himself in a relationship with a girl, couldn't even figure out why somebody would want that. Every time his friends would inform him of a new girlfriend, he'd always just scoff and ask them why, and they'd always look at him like he was insane. So he'd clarify, asking them why they wanted to be in a relationship in the first place, and then his friends would get offended and leave, and he never understood that. He supposed that having a girlfriend could be nice, somebody to talk to perhaps, but... well, the idea of kissing and holding hands with a girl didn't appeal to Logan at all.

So, for a while, he thought that maybe the problem was that he was trying to imagine himself with a girl. He was fourteen when he first learnt what the term 'gay' meant - a sheltered upbringing paired with growing up in a fairly conservative town meant he'd never been told about any of that, or even thought to question it - and, for a while, he considered that maybe the reason he wasn't 'falling in love' with any girls was because he was actually attracted to guys. He experimented a little - not a lot, more just looked at some guys and tried to figure out why he didn't particularly want to date any of them either, or why he didn't find any male celebrities particularly attractive.

He thought that maybe this whole crisis would be put behind when when he met an actual gay person, by the name of Patton - a new student in his class, who'd quickly warmed up to him. He was bubbly and sweet and kind of cute, in a way, with curly hair and round glasses and a contagious smile. Logan enjoyed his company, loved how Patton would listen to him to info-dump and how Patton would sometimes sing and how Patton would always sit with him and talk, no matter what. A couple months into their friendship Patton asked Logan to be his boyfriend, and Logan didn't really see a reason to refuse. Patton was nice and Logan wouldn't have minded spending the rest of his life with him, so being his boyfriend would make sense, right?

That crisis was over. He was gay, probably, and did want a relationship, maybe. With Patton, specifically.

Except... things still didn't feel right. He somewhat felt the desire to go on dates now, he supposed - any time hanging out with Patton was perfect, and the fact that they now referred to these outings as 'dates' didn't really change a thing - but Logan still found himself... pushing Patton away. Patton would kiss him sometimes, even just tiny pecks on the cheeks, and every kiss left a weird feeling in Logan's stomach. Patton would always greet Logan with a hug in the morning, which he did before anyway but as a couple it felt different, and Logan wasn't sure if he liked it. Even the word 'boyfriend' tasted sour on his tongue, like it didn't describe the relationship he wanted with Patton.

When things started becoming even more physical with Patton, Logan said nothing. He allowed Patton to kiss him and hold hands and cuddle him during movie nights, because he hated the sad look on Patton's face whenever Logan would push him away. He tried not to show how uncomfortable he was during all of this, because logically he shouldn't have been uncomfortable with any of it - he did love Patton, Patton was the most important person in his life, he just... didn't seem to love Patton in the way he was supposed to.

Maybe those kids from school were right. Maybe Logan was incapable of real love.

Eventually, it all became too much. Logan... didn't want to do this to Patton, but he didn't want to hurt Patton, or himself, any more. So, one day, Logan sat Patton down for a talk.

"I..." Logan was usually so good with words, so why was he struggling now? "I- I can't do this."

Patton frowned. "Can't do... what?"

"This." He breathed in and out. "Us. I- I love you Patton, I really do, but..."

"Are you... breaking up with me?"

Logan glanced down the floor, unable to bear the look in Patton's eyes. "I... think it's best for us to do so."

Patton fell silent, and that broke Logan, to the extent that he felt like he may cry. He didn’t know why - he wasn’t exactly happy in a romantic relationship with Patton, so really ending things should make him feel better, right? Or maybe...

“It’s nothing to do with you,” Logan promised, looking back at Patton only to find Patton avoiding his gaze. “It’s... It’s me, really. I- I think you’re amazing and perfect and I absolutely love being your friend, I wouldn’t even mind still being in a... close relationship to you, I just... All this romantic stuff doesn’t feel right. I don’t- I don’t think I’m into guys, really.”

Patton frowned. “Are you straight, then?”

“No, I...” Logan breathed in. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’ve never- I’ve never really had the desire to be in a close, physical relationship with anyone. You’re... You were the first people I could actually imagine myself spending a significant amount of time with, but... I don’t know, being your boyfriend just feels...” He trailed off. He didn’t know how to explain himself, and Patton only seemed to be growing more and more upset.

Logan stood up, going to pace around the room. It felt weird sitting still, with Patton staring at the floor. Surely there was something wrong with him - if he loved Patton so much and it hurt him so much to end things with him, why didn’t he want to be in a romantic relationship with him? It didn’t make any sense.

Logan ended up going home, parting ways with Patton. They were still... sort of friends, he supposed, but things still felt weird between them. Perhaps because Logan knew how Patton really felt about him, and it pained Logan that he physically could not reciprocate those feelings. He wanted to, wanted to have that closeness they used to have even before they dated, but... things weren’t the same.

Until another day, a month or so after things ended, when Patton approached Logan and sat down. “I have something you may find interesting,” he said.

Logan raised an eyebrow. “Yeah?” It had been ages since Patton had gotten straight to the point like this - over the past month, they’d settled into a routine of awkward smalltalk before the real conversation.

“I was doing some research the other night,” Patton said, “because of some stuff you said when... y’know.” Logan did know, and he didn’t particularly want to be reminded about it. “You said that you... didn’t feel the desire to be in a romantic relationship, right?”

Logan nodded. “Yes. I- I don’t know. It just... feels uncomfortable, imagining myself in one.” He didn’t mentioned that he’d also felt uncomfortable being in one, for fear that that may upset Patton more than necessary.

“Yeah, so, I found this term some people use,” Patton continued. “A couple terms, actually. I...” He dug through his bag and handed a notebook over to Logan, with a page filled with definitions open. The very first one struck Logan in a way he’d never felt before.

aromantic: a lack of romantic attraction

Logan blinked, over and over again. That... “There’s a word for that?” he whispered, glancing back at Patton.

A small smile grew across Patton’s face. “Yeah. I- I don’t know if that’s you, but... I don’t know. You said you thought that something was wrong with you, but there... there’s other people who feel the same way.”

“I’m not alone.” Logan scanned over the rest of the definitions, making some mental notes to research more into it later. But after a while of sitting in silence, Logan smiled and turned back to Patton. “Thank you. I- I think I...” He didn’t finish. Patton just smiled back, looking happy that Logan had figured something out.

Logan still didn’t know what to say when people asked him about crushes or relationships, but at least now he knew why he never knew what to say. He didn’t feel like he needed a romantic relationship, and that was fine. There was nothing wrong with him, at all.

#prideprompts2020 #thomas sanders #sanders sides #logicality #logan sanders #patton sanders #aromantic!logan #tw break up #my writing #my fanfic

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purplesurveys · 4 years ago

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816

Gonna do a before and after of one of the first surveys I took when I was FOURTEEN. Fucking wild that I’ve been doing this for nearly a decade. Kinda my way of celebrating the fact that I’ve just been reunited with my old blog, which Tumblr has apparently changed the URL of. Baffled by the move but still stoked, and @a-zebra-is-a-striped-horse is absolutely the coolest person for being able to find it haha. Let’s gooooo 1. Are you registered to vote? No. I still have 3 years to go. < That’s so precious. I’ve been a voter for four years now. I registered the second I turned 18 and I remember being very excited to make it to the presidential elections because only a handful of people from my high school batch were 18 by the time of the elections. 2. When days go by, do you cross them off on the calendar? Only when I’m counting down for something. < This still sounds like something I would do, but I don’t really get to anymore because I have digital calendars on my phone and laptop now. 3. Are you currently counting down to something? If so, what? Summer vacation! 4 days left! < Again, so cute. There’s no countdown that exists because I honestly don’t know when it will be okay enough to go out like normal again, but I am waiting for Covid to go away or at least for a vaccine to be available.

No #4? 5. Ever got injured at work? What happened? Nope. < I sprained my ankle at one of the parking lots in school, while walking to my car. Worst thing was it happened in front of an ongoing rally, and I heard their chants slightly falter when they saw me fall. I tried to play it cool, but my foot clearly felt fucked and someone had to hold my arm as I hopped to my car.

6. What color is your roof? Brown. < Stop pretending like you have a roof, Robyn. The house has always had a rooftop.

7. Do you use MySpace or Facebook more? Neither. < I was still far too young when MySpace peaked so I never did get to participate in its glory days. I definitely use Facebook a lot more, then and now. 8. Last time you sharpened a pencil? When I took a diagnostic test last Monday. < Sometime in 2019 when I was still heavily into coloring and I bought several coloring books and a pack of coloring pencils. I loved coloring and wish I kept it up, but it was just a bit of a hassle for me to sharpen every ten minutes or so. 9. List all the people in your phone under T: Zero, zilch, nada. No phone. < A high school batchmade named Dani, a college colleague named Kate, and a couple of aunts and uncles whose contacts start with Tito and Tita. 10. How old were you when you got into text messaging? I once had a super obsessive text problem when I was 11, I think? < That would be the first time I got hooked with texting, but I got my first phone when I was 7 and was already texting by then. Mostly my parents and grandpa, but still. 11. Do you pay rent to your parents? No. < No. They’ve already told me they won’t pressure me to do so either, but out of gratefulness for taking care of me for 20+ years I have absolutely no problems covering some of the bills when the time comes. 12. What do you think of Obama’s new healthcare bill? I don’t know a lot about it. < Honestly, still same. That’s another country’s politics altogether and we have enough issues in our own nation as it is. I do pay attention to US issues that are more universal like LGBT issues, police brutality against black people, Trump as a person...but not the more in-depth ones like healthcare or student debt. 13. How many icons are on your desktop? 34. < Exactly half of that. 14. Do you spit or swallow? Get outta here!!! < Still can’t relate. 15. Ever wrote something on a bathroom wall? Nope. < Eugh no, public bathrooms are so nasty. I don’t usually touch anything in them other than the faucet. I’ve written on other things though, like the desks in school. 16. What’s your definition of a slut? Uh. < Someone who often has casual sex with a lot of people, is how I understand it. 17. If you use the word “slut”, do you apply it to men who do the same thing as what you listed above? Nah. < I don’t really use the word. 18. Do you dye eggs for Easter? I did once, in a children’s party. < Yeah, just that one time at my second cousins’ place when they were in the mood to paint on eggs and invited me and my siblings. 19. What did you do on the first day of spring? Never experienced spring. < We don’t have spring. 23. Are you currently crushing on anyone? No. < Yes. 24. What color hair did the last person you kissed have? NKSB. < LOOOOOOOOOL I spent like two minutes puzzling over this like who tf is NKSB??? Eventually realized this just meant ‘Never Kissed Since Birth’ oh my god 14 year old Robyn you were SO uncool. Anyway, her hair is black. 25. Do you stand up to say the pledge in school? We don’t have a school pledge, but we do recite our country’s pledge and yes, we stand up every time we say it. < Not anymore in university. Everyone just kinda does their own thing in college and we’re never gathered as one student body for anything, except for graduation. 26. Do you like your eye color? God no. It’s so boring. < I mean yeah it is a bit boring, but we kinda have no choice. Unless you go to West Asia which is nearing Europe as it is, nearly all Asians have brown eyes and black hair. 27. What brand of orange juice did you last drink? Zesto. < That’s the only brand of orange juice I’m okay with drinking, even eight years later. 28. Pens or pencils? Pens. < Still feel the same. 29. Last skirt you wore and why? My school skirt, because I have to go to school. < Omfg again, this is so precious. The last one I wore was my denim skirt, but it’s also been a while since I wore that because one of its buttons has since popped out and I never got around to having it fixed, leaving me with no skirts. 30. Last time you wore heels, what kind were they? A prom I went to. I actually have no idea what kind of heels they are so I’m just gonna say old-women heels. < They were stilettos, you dumbass. I also wore a pair of stilettos the last time I wore heels. They’re my favorite kind, so. 31. Shoes you wear the most? My Keds. < My pair of Onitsuka Tiger sneakers. . 32. Favorite quote at the moment? “YOU DUMB BITCH! I’M NOT HOLDING A MICROPHONE! ARE YOU FUCKING STUPID?” - CM Punk < Holy crap, I do not remember this quote at all and had to look it up on YouTube and – no regrets. Watching it made so many memories come rushing back lmao that clip is hilarious; Punk is the greatest. Right now I don’t really have a favorite quote. 33. What was the last magazine article you read about? I forgot. < It’s from the website version of the magazine, but the last article I read covered a viral Facebook post wherein someone had photoshopped the faces of The Big Bang Theory boys onto the traditional graduation photos of my university out of boredom. Article is here for anyone who wants to see how well the pictures turned out lol. 34. What do you think about communism? I don’t know enough about it. < I completely support the progressive youth orgs, especially the ones in my university, that are aligned with communist, socialist, and Marxist ideals. They speak the truth more than any other orgs, so I don’t shy away from defending them or promoting their ideals, especially on social media, even if it puts me in danger. 35. Are you planning on going to college? If so, which one? Of course. I want to study in Ateneo. < CAN WE CANCEL 14 YEAR OLD ROBYN?????? What a disappointment omg. You were always meant to be in UP, you weirdo. 22 year old me takes that appalling statement back lol I can’t even begin to imagine spending my college years in Ateneo. 36. What’s your favorite flower? Ugh I hate flowers. < Peonies and roses. 37. What’s the nearest beach? I think it’s like…600 km away + a 2 hour boat ride. < No it is not. There’s a beach I come back to in Nasugbu and that’s only 100 km away. 38. Ever been to Florida? Nope. < Still nope. 39. How old is your brother’s best friend? He’s probably 9 as my brother’s 9. < I don’t know if he has one and I don’t really care anymore. 40. What type of car did you ride in last? A Kia van. < Sksksksks this was referring to the school bus I used to ride omg :( I was last in our Vitara, when I had to go to the hospital to get some tests done back when I still had a pesky fever. 42. Are you excited for summer 2013? Fuck yeah. < I honestly don’t remember how it ultimately went, but apparently I was excited for it so that answers the question. 43. What class were your parents (ex. class of ‘75)? They’re the same age so batch ‘89. < There we go. 44. Are you in debt right now? For what? No. < Kinda-ish? I promised my sister I’d pay her for helping me out with iMovie (I wanted to make Gab a video for her birthday, but had never done it before), but I haven’t had the chance to do it since I only have big bills at the moment. She’s asking for ₱200 but I only have ₱1000s in my wallet, so I can’t pay her for now. 45. If you’re old enough, do you have a credit card? If you’re not old enough, do you want one when you’re older? I definitely want one. < Yep, still want one. Though I’ll need a crash course on how to use it because my parents never really taught me how cards work. 46. What color is your phone? No phone. < Apple calls it space gray but it’s really just black. 47. Have you ever had someone read a text message they weren’t supposed to see? Yes. < Yes. That person was me, and I accidentally read a text from my dad meant for only my mom when I was 5 because I had stubborn fingers that would click on anything. 48. What’s the minimum age you think someone should have a cell phone at? 10. < Holy cow, that’s a nope for me. I’d say 12 or 13. 49. Would you ever work night crew? Sure. < Yes. I’ve seen my girlfriend’s mom do it and honestly I find it pretty badass, especially because while everyone is stuck in traffic trying to get to work by 9 AM, she’s cruising down the highway on the opposite lane with no problem, to be home by 9 hahaha. 50. How old is the last person you texted? 41. < 22.

#survey #surveys

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sadncssfossilized · 5 years ago

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sexuality troubles.

i’m so fucking confused. being non-binary/trans makes everything so fucking hard. i don’t know where i fit... anywhere on the sexuality spectrum. i have no idea if all of my attraction to men is real or if i’m forcing it on myself bc im afab. i don’t know if i’m bi. ive always wanted to be attractive to men ever since i was small i think as a coping mechanism because of trauma. but i’m also extremely scared of older men, even if i do find celebrities attractive. but a lot of male celebrities i straight up DONT find attractive at all, they’re like cardboard to me. i don’t know if that’s because i think a lot of hollywood white men hearththrobs look extremely bland/the same bc white society or if there’s something genuinely off with my attraction to men meter. ive heard people say that not being able to process whether a man is attractive or not is a lesbian thing. but i don’t feel like a lesbian. i don’t feel female. i love women, i have always known that, but i don’t feel like a woman and i don’t want to be a woman. i want to look masculine. i want to be masculine. i don’t want to be a girl anymore. i don’t want to be a man, completely, i just want to be.... not a woman. not a man. a nothing.

is it a preference or am i only attracted to women?? i loved being bi. i love the flag i love the options, and i don’t really process people’s gender’s except on a social level. ive never been close with ANY boys across my life, or even more than acquaintances because of my shy and reserved nature and i’ve never connected with any on a personal level both because of fear, being flustered, and feeling like they’re cooler and more superior to be and genuinely a different species so to say, so i don’t know if that has to do with my fear of being sexually involved with them. i’m always afraid men want the worst from me, and i always get the feeling that they are judging me based on my attractiveness to them and discard me mentally as soon as i am not and i hate that so much. i think because i’ve never known a boy truly and deeply, i keep prejudices against them and don’t think that they are as compassionate or HUMAN as non-men. but at the same time, i’ve always felt called to get self worth from their attraction to me. literally since pre-elementary. even if i think a guy is ugly i still base my worth off of if he’s attracted to me?? it’s automatic, and fucked up. i’m scared to go further than flirt with a boy. i’m scared to mess up conversationally , i’m scared of entering a relationship with one especially because i’d be the “woman” in it, and i don’t want to be fucked like a man fucks a woman. i want a queer man so i can feel safe and normal around him. straight men are an enigma to me. they scare me so much with their lack of societal awareness and cruelty. i feel like they don’t GET IT you know? but if i ever was to date one, since i’m pre transition and in the closet i’d have to pretend to be a woman and pretend to be okay with that. the idea of a man taking me like i was a woman makes me want to hurl.... that’s not the relationship dynamic i want at all.

all of my emotions toward men are so fucking conflicting. ive dreamed of kissing men before, fantasized about being soft with them, holding their hand, cupping their face and kissing them gently, but if they’re an irl i never fantasize about what they would be like sexually, land the idea kind of off puts/repulses me in a way. thinking of my irl women crushes kind of makes me feel the same way, but i’m more open to the possibility of that? ive never had a relationship with a man and only probably had like 1 male friend across my entire life, so my fear could be because of trauma + fear of the unknown + bc of my prejudices bc of my lack of experience + dysphoria. meanwhile, i’ve had 1 girlfriend and all of my friends have been female my whole life. ive just NEVER been comfortable around boys/men. which i feel like is less indicative of lesbianism and more of like. trauma haha. i sexualized myself at such a young age to cater to the boys around me and even to the adult men around me, it hurts to think about. i hate how trauma complicates everything. i don’t know why i have that impulse, i don’t know why it started. ive just never felt safe around a boy. i feel like they always want something from me. ive been attracted to them but i’m soo scared o f them. like, i always have something to prove, whether it be my personality or humor or attractiveness, just to stay in their presence.

nsfw incoming.

ive tried to jack off to a lot of gay porn and i think my men attraction meter is broken because so many of the men in gay porn are ugly/unattractive to me. straight up. in their face, and body. and the body ideals in the gay community, where i would fit in post transition, don’t.... resonate with me. like not to be crude but a lot of the body types of the men in here are unattractive to me, but then again it’s white dominated and caters to a very specific vision of a huge bubble butt, way huge thighs, overly ripped chest, bland ass white boy faces paired with ugly haircuts. is this what i’m supposed to be attracted to? the men i’ve been attracted to irl do not look like that. the men in gay porn are all so passionless too. (which is honestly an issue i have that makes jacking off to women in porn sort of difficult too??) i don’t know. i don’t feel like i’m attracted to men the same way gay men are. but then again, how would i know that? i don’t know any actual gay men. i just know from some porn blogs? some pornhub videos? i don’t fucking know. i jack off to images/videos of men very few times compared to how much i get off to women bc of my particularity . it’s more difficult, but it’s easier by when i think about how the man feels, like his pleasure, his sounds, his expressions, rather than the aesthetics of it all. not to say i don’t appreciate the aesthetics of some nice men- chris evans, frank ocean, rob mcelhenney, taika waititi, nice. which sounds like a very non-lesbian thing to say i would think, but i know a ton of lesbians who talk about celebrity men super raunchily and stuff, so i don’t know anymore and i don’t think i know enough about lesbianism to know whether these are lesbian experiences or not. the majority of men content ive jacked off to has been gay fan fiction, and that has actually been easy to get off to bc of the descriptions and the i can visualize characters and passion the way i want. it’s harder to do it with actual videos/images of men, because it’s so different in my mind and imagination m, but that may be bc gay porn can involve a lot of roughness/impersonal-ness? also i feel like i still have a certain degree of internalized homophobia toward both wlw AND mlm despite working through my acceptance of my sexuality for a number of years.

i just want a person. but i don’t know if it’s beyond my control who i’m sexually attracted to. my sexual attraction to men is a lot lower than to women, and it’s a lot easier for me to make them bland in my head and not be able to point out a unique thing about them . i feel like girls are more... distinct/easily alluring to me than most men you know. that may also be affected by how women actually know how to dress and look unique and men don’t really shift from 1 bland societal style, i don’t know. i don’t know. i want to be attracted to men. as a transmasc, i want to be gay. i don’t want to be straight. ive been gay all my life, and i don’t want to leave that label. i want softness and love. but men scare me, and i don’t know if it’s because of a tragic coalescence of bad life experiences (or lack thereof) or because of genuine lesbianism. ive talked so much about being bi, and even been called a confused lesbian before by transphobes, and ever since they said it i cant stop questioning. i feel like at this point i HAVE to be a lesbian or something, bc that’s how this shit goes in movies and stories. i don’t want to be a lesbian. i want to be attracted to men, i wanna be bi and be equally attracted to both, i want experiences with both in my mind, but irl i get so fucking scared and i don’t want anything to do with it. i don’t wanna be a straight transmasc and i also don’t want to become what transphobes have spent their time telling me i am. i want to be what i’ve always thought i’ve been, bisexual and transmasc. i was comfortable with bisexual, until everybody else kept telling me to question and it’s been eating me alive since. fuck. i don’t know anything. is this a preference and bad combination of a huge number of deeper factors or am i straight up NATURALLY not attracted to men? have i been lying to mhself? have all my attractions in the past been fake? this is gonna sound terrible but i don’t want to be a lesbian. it doesn’t feel right. and id be proving the horrible people right, and have to retract everything i’ve ever said about being bi to my following on my other social media. and i’ve said a LOT. and i’d also have to give up my admiration of my irl men crushes and male celebrities and their sexiness. all of this shit is so ridiculous but at least i’m being honest with myself with this post. someone help me haha

#questioning #lesbian #trans masc #nonbinary #bisexual #transmasc #trans man #help #lgbtq #queer #trans #rambles

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justhereforseverus · 4 years ago

Text

A rose by any other name would smell as sweet

Chapter 5: Thy spirit within thee hath been so at war

During your first "lesson" with Severus Snape, you get a flashback of something long forgotten and avoided.

Notes:

This is angsty. TW: for shouting abuse, horrible teachers, classmates, and almost passing out.

Yes, I know a real flashback doesn't work that way but this is what I can produce with my limited writing abilities. Thank you so much for reading! I've also wrote some very emotional, romantic, loving, intense scenes for the future chapters and I can't wait to share them.

Chapter Text

I slept like a sweet little lion cub. Ok, no idea if they sleep well but that was the first thing that came into my mind this morning. I felt refreshed, full of energy and entirely at peace. Gosh, that sleeping potion was truly magic. I basically hopped into the great hall for breakfast and Remus looked at me like I’ve turned myself into a unicorn and exclaime: “What the hell happened to you? You look almost like a normal person today. Are you the real (y/n) or did you simply have a good night’s sleep?” I sat next to him and eagerly poured myself some pumpkin juice. “Yes, actually I slept like a baby. Severus’ sleeping potion is really something. Highly recommendable 10/10. Might work for you, too, you scruffy little dog.” He jokingly stuck his tongue out and finished eating his pancake before saying: “First of all: I’m anything BUT a little dog and I think scruffiness is not a negative thing because it makes me look cute – I let out a small ironic haha at this – “and secondly: Congrats! He didn’t poison you! That means he tolerates you, which is better than what the rests of us get: pure loath and hatred.”

“Doesn’t he also make your wolfsbane potion?”

Yes, but I’m convinced he’s putting something in there that causes headaches afterwards just because he can.”

“But you can’t prove it, dear! Anyway, any plans for the weekend?” “Yes, I have a date with my very attractive girlfriend Tonks so sorry no intercourse this time unless you’re open for a threesome.”

“Stop it! No, thank you, I’m good! You’re hanging out way too much with Sirius. I haven’t forgotten how he flirted with me the first time we’ve met. Worst pick up lines ever! But I’m happy for you. I don’t have any plans, yet but we’ll see. Might get a bit of reading done.”

“How boring but that might be just the perfect weekend for you. If you want to you can ask our dungeon bat to join. Maybe he feels social for once.”

“Haha, very funny. But either way I’m glad to have a bit of a break from teaching.”

I appreciate that Remus is so open and easy to be around with. Sometimes I fear we became best friends way too fast but it’s like in school. You click with someone and it’s you and your best friend against the world. His girlfriend Tonks has been in his life for a couple of months now and gosh they are so in love it makes me happy. Makes me miss having a crush and a relationship sometimes. I haven’t been in one for ages. I’m just scared and don’t connect that way with people. Well, unless you count celebrity crushes, fictional characters and poets long dead and gone. Hopeless indeed. I wish Franz Kafka’s ghost would actually be available, but he wasn’t a wizard so anyway...

When I passed my pidgeon hole in the faculty office I saw a tiny parchment roll bound with a green band. I opened it and read: “If you’re free this weekend, we can begin our lessons tomorrow at noon. Research which potions you’d like to learn and prepare their specific names. If you’re unable to come let me know through an owl, as I’m not coming into the teacher’s offices anymore for today. Yours Sincerely, S. Snape.” Ok, that’s my weekend settled then.

On Saturday, I arrived at the potion classroom with a long roll of parchment containing the potions I’d like to make, a thick notebook so I can make notes, and my fluttering nerves bundled together in my stomach. To be honest, I was nervous and this felt like a math exam. Perhaps this wasn’t the best idea after all. However, upon entering the classroom, Severus presence calmed me somewhat. I know others wouldn’t feel that way when entering the classroom. Yet, I simply feel like meeting someone familiar. Is that strange? Am I making sense? Probably not.

We discussed some of the potions I had in mind and he chose one of the simplest for a start. He put the instructions on the Black Board and I, as his temporary student, sat at the front table. I felt nervous and it was difficult to not see myself as a teenager again. Here and there did he tell me how to put ingredients into the pot or how to cut them rightly but apart from that he focused more on supervising. The potion was easy but I’ve never dared to try it myself without equipment, ingredients or someone to look after me. Unfortunately, I also forgot why my self-confidence and trust in potion making has disappeared. While looking at the flask turning a bright green with reddish streaks, I remembered something. It felt like I’ve seen this before. I’ve been here before. I started shaking and my mind went blank. It was like a deja-vu, a flashback to something I’ve completely forgot and actively pushed away from memory. How could I forget the main reason why I’m not doing this? I heard shouting in the back of my mind, my equipment pushed to the floor, glass breaking, a man shouting, screaming in my face and the entire class laughing. How could I ever forget this? I started shaking and the knife, which I used to cut some radish looking things fell from my hand to the floor. My vision went black and my knees became weak. Suddenly, I felt arms around me, heard a voice calling my name from very far away. I looked around and saw Severus with panic on his face, trying to lead me to a bench that was put against the wall. I remember sitting and he giving me a cup of something warm to drink. Slowly I got back to reality and my vision normalised. I felt Severus holding both my shoulders to make sure I don’t fall to the floor. When it came to me what happened, I only muttered an apology and held my face in my hands. He didn’t say anything for a while, put his long coat over me and then proceeded to finish the potion and put the equipment away. He then returned to my side still silent. After some minutes, he asked: “How are you?”

I was embarrassed and felt nothing but shame. I apologised again and stood up wanting to leave the classroom but he stopped me in saying: “Please don’t leave. We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. We can simply forget that happened or not. That is your choice. I won’t ask. I’m not mad. But stay. I don’t think it’s wise to go up all the stairs when you haven’t recovered, yet. I don’t want to be responsible for any deaths in this castle.” I looked at him and he sat, arms and legs crossed on the wooden bench looking towards the floor. I obliged and got back next to him. “I forgot.” I said “I forgot why I gave up on potions. Why my grades have been mediocre or down right only passing. I forgot otherwise I wouldn’t have put you in this position. I’m sorry.” “You’ve apologised two times already that’s more than enough.”

“Sor -I mean. Yes.”

“I can be a horrible teacher. I know that. It’s not a profession I chose willingly, not that this would be an excuse. I know it’s not right. Yet, I never scream. I try to control my emotions at any times and let words speak for themselves. Whoever was responsible for this memory didn’t have the right to do what he did. Don’t beat yourself up about it. You outgrew him.”

“Thank you but… how?

“Obvious when you’re holding your hands over your ears and mutter ‘Please stop shouting’.

“Oh…..”

“As I’ve said: It’s fine.”

We sat in silence for a while and I sipped at my tea. When my spirits came back, I tried to lighten the mood as I always do in these awkward situations: “Are you giving tea to your frightened students, too or am I an exception?”

“My students usually hate and fear me behind my back so I’m afraid I can’t offer them this. Furthermore, it would ruin my reputation. If they want to be cuddled they can go to Minerva with her endless supply of biscuits. No, this is something reserved for grown-ups. English courtesy you might even say. When you don’t know what to do. Make tea.”

“I see. You’re not that frightening to me so far.”

“As I said. You’re my colleague, not my student.”

“Yet, you seem to be nicer to me than to the rest of my colleagues.”

“Maybe. However, I’d argue I’m a role model of courtesy and politeness.”

I chuckled at this “Remus wouldn’t agree.”

“Well, me and Remus have a difficult relationship.”

“He said exactly the same and yet I like you both.”

“Interesting indeed. We’ve barely talked.”

“Just a feeling. Thank you, Professor Snape."

“Call me Severus. No need for useless titles here.”

#tw #anxiety #flashback #anxiety attack #pro snape #severus snape #harry potter #snape x reader #snape appreciation month #snape x female reader #snape x oc

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smnthchrstn · 6 years ago

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I need to make sure, YOU DO ALL 99 QUESTIONS, 99 being "ask anything" so, question for 99 is... Christine or Samantha?

Quite possibly the scariest ask meme I’ve ever answered lmao

how tall are you? I’m somewhere around 5′7 - 5′8

what is your body type? It’s a body, it keeps me alive lol

what is your favorite part about your body? My hair, usually.

is your current hair color your natural hair color? No

are you more outgoing or more shy? Shy

are you more femme or butch? I wanna say femme but that’s only because I have very long hair atm.

are you tol or smol? Tol more than smol

wine mom or vodka aunt? Vodka aunt

weird habit? I nervously bruise myself as weird as that sounds. If I’m at work during a stressful call I’ll end up accidentally bruising my legs or arms by squeezing them so hard in a panic

favorite meme? Lately I’ve been saying stuff and putting this gif of Sarah Paulson from Bird Box right after whatever I’ve said. I’ll include it at the end or my formatting will get all messed up.

do you sing in the shower? Occasionally when I’m waiting the three minutes for my deep conditioner to deep condition (?) I’ll sing Rhiannon by Fleetwood Mac or Gypsy.

ever used a bow and arrow? No

are/were you a theatre kid? Nope

have you ever seen a broadway musical? Live? No

do you think musicals are cheesy? No way!

have you ever been a part of a protest or a march? I haven’t.

favorite Cards Against Humanity Card? I’ve never played it physically, but I’ve played it online a couple times.

last movie you watched? Ghostbusters. I needed some Kate McKinnon :P

behind the camera or in front of it? Behind

favorite tv show? American Horror Story or Friends

meaning behind your url First and middle name and then roleplay

reason you joined tumblr Many years ago the lead singer of my favorite band at the time had it.

who’s your closest tumblr friend? I couldn’t pick just one person.

what’s something most people love that you hate? Seafood?

have you ever taken narcotics? No lol

have you had sex? Sex means a lot of things to a lot of different people and as far as what I consider sex to mean to me; no I have not.

have you ever gotten caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? One time the cops followed me home at sixteen because they thought my friend had beer in the car. We were really sims junkies and had several cans of Red Bull and Monster in her backseat.

worst/funniest lie you’ve ever told? This is dumb, but last year I lied to my mom about a hickey that my partner at the time gave me. I had too many to hide and that was my fault lol spoiler alert: she didn’t believe my dumb ass.

describe your passion without mentioning it. Pen, paper, gay

describe your best friend. She is beautiful inside and out. I love her to death.

give us one thing about you that no one knows. Well, I mean two people know this but this past weekend I relapsed for the first time in God knows how long and that’s something I have a lot of shame over. Even though I know anyone reading this won’t find it shameful because we all or most of us deal with this kind of thing.

how do you feel right now? I’m emotional from the last question lol

what is your biggest fear? Abandonment

what’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it? Mamma Mia, the ABBA version.

what is the best decision you’ve made in your life so far? Coming out! Literally saved my life.

have you ever tried your hardest and then been disappointed in the end? All the time

something you fantasize about. I fantasize about a day that I can love someone and finally believe they aren’t going to walk away or make me feel that I’m not good enough.

last time you cried and why I cried on Saturday because I didn’t want to be alive anymore lmao this is dark you asked for it 🤷‍♀️

what was the last thing that made you laugh? The Meryl Streep meme lol

do you really, truly miss someone right now? Yes. Different people at different times.

who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything? I really don’t know.

the last time you felt broken? I feel broken every day, haha. Today?

are you starting to realize anything? Starting? I don’t necessarily think so.

are you more dominant or more submissive? I can be either, depending on the other person and the situation.

i’ll only date you if you love Sarah Paulson.

do you prefer to date people the same age as you, younger, or older? I’ve liked people older, I’ve liked people younger. I don’t think I’ve ever liked someone my own age, though. I’m open to whatever.

describe the person you’re in love with/have a crush on in great detail. G r e a t d e t a i l

do you have any kinks? See the turn on question.

first thing you notice in a person? Eyes, hair and kindness/personality.

how can someone win your heart? Loyalty and common interests.

been rejected by a crush? Of course

have you ever had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back? Yes

would you have sex with the last person you text messaged? I never text, it’s probably like Kelly lmao. I’ll show her this, but no. I don’t think I’ve ever been romantically involved with a straight girl.

is trust a big issue for you? Yeppp

did you hang out with the person you like recently? I don’t hang out with anyone tbh

is confidence cute? I think if a girl knows she’s got it, then that’s great. Like own whatever you’re good at / if you’re cute af own that you’re cute af. Everyone’s cute af, girls are unbelievable

what would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy? Hypothetically, if I liked a person and they kissed someone else deep down inside that would probably make something in my chest flinch, but I wouldn’t say anything.

would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh? I don’t think so, but I laugh pretty easily.

does the person you have feelings for right now know you do? To be completely honest, when I came out I pretty much memorialized every girl I liked from 11 years old to 2017 within my coming out letter. Anybody I’ve liked from 2017 - present knows that I liked them. I’m usually the “keep it in until I die” kind of person though.

ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush? I’ve done this several times and I’m sure I’ll never stop.

do you want to get married It scares me, but yeah.

worst thing you’ve ever done? I accidentally told a client “That’s great, bye!” when she told me her husband couldn’t hear properly to do a survey. (I was very sick and a little high on painkillers)

three things that turn you on. Cover your eyes kiddos. 1) Thigh kisses. 2) Lower stomach kisses. 3) Neck kisses / hickeys. Friiiick

who do you hate? Hate is a very strong word, I greatly dislike someone but that’s neither here nor there.

favorite term of endearment? Probably baby, but I like honey if I’m the one saying it

who was your celebrity/fictional gay awakening? Courteney Cox

intimidating girls or kind girls? Kind

what do you look for in a possible partner? Someone who is trustworthy, kind, sensitive and again as always can make a grilled cheese that doesn’t look like a wet sock

do you tend to like more masculine, feminine, or androgynous girls? I’ve liked literally all of them, I’m just a giant lesbian

are you good at flirting? Nope lmao

who was the first person you came out to? I think it was @therainbowtink if we’re getting technical here but I’m sure @onenighttofuckupmylife had to be a close second once I really knew for sure.

do you have any friends who are wlw? All of them except two

is your crush wlw? All of my crushes have been, thankfully

last person to make you reconsider your sexuality? No man has that power, come on now

write a short love poem to your crush/self? Dear self, you are a dumb ass. Love, Samantha.

do you fall in love easily? Ohohoho

is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about? Yes. It varies, but I’ve got a couple.

are you good at hiding your feelings? I try, I have no idea if I’d ever make it as an actor. I act at work every day when I pretend to not have severe anxiety lol

are you a forgiving person? Yes

what is your “type?” I have no type, I’m just gay af

fall asleep in her arms or rub her back until she falls asleep in yours? They’re both such rewarding places to be. Being able to give someone that comfort is one of life’s greatest gifts, but when you’re really really tired or really really sick you want nothing more than to curl up against your person and pass tf out against them. I couldn’t choose.

tall girls or short girls? Both!

hugs or kisses? Oof. I don’t know, it depends on the situation. Both are fun. I’m kind of an awkward hugger I’d rather snuggle

twirl her around or get twirled? I’m too old both of those make me want to throw up haha.

tummy kisses or thigh kisses? Honestly they both fuck me up, but I like giving tummy kisses better than giving thigh kisses.

hairline kisses or neck kisses? Neck always

play with her hair or stroke her tummy? These are both very rewarding who wouldn’t choose both

making out or soft kisses? Soft, but sometimes you just need to make out 🤷‍♀️

hugs around the neck or hugs around the waist? Both!

how confident are you in your sexuality? 110%

when you like someone do you blush or get butterflies in your stomach? Butterflies in the stomach 110%

have you ever liked a friend as more than a friend? did you tell them? Do you mean every single time I’ve liked someone? I’m reasonably sure every girl I’ve ever liked up until present know that I liked them.

how old were you when you realized you were into girls? This question is tricky. I was 10 when I had my first crush on a girl. 17 when it happened again, but didn’t acknowledge that I had one until 20.

most embarrassing thing you’ve done in front of a cute girl? I’ve done a thousand embarrassing thins.

do you have a favorite lesbian ship? is it canon? Foxxay and no because Ryan Murphy is a coward.

what is the most aggravating thing someone has said to you about your sexuality? When I came out my grandma told me “we have no reason to discuss your sex life” and that not only aggravated me, but hurt. Alternatively, my aunt told me that I like girls because my dad wasn’t around for a chunk of my life and that hurt me I think more than aggravated me, although it did that too because it’s never been any of her business.

when was the last time a girl made your heart flutter? Have you seen Sarah Paulson? Every single day. Every. day.

what is love to you? Love is when you care about someone and their well-being. We love our pets, we love our family, we love our friends, we love artists and actors and musicians. We love ourselves. Love comes in many forms.

ask me anything. Call me whatever you want (just not Sam lol)

A straight couple: shows PDA in public

Me:

#asks #personal tag.#thank you this made me insanely emotional #there's some pg13 themes under the cut #self harm tw #sorry i just don't want anyone to feel triggered by what i've said #alurous

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soonhoonsol · 7 years ago

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Tagged by @sunflowerhao (HAHA THANKSSS <3)

Rules: Tag 10 followed people you’d like to get to know better

Name: Cheyenne (you can call me Chey :3)

Gender: Female

Sexuality: I have no idea anymore. Am I straight? Am I not? Idk

Have you ever had a crush on a teacher? Nah, none of my teachers were very good-looking. If they were, they’re most likely married.

If you could be somewhere else right now, where would you be? Anywhere except my house. It’s the school holidays >< I’m rotting at home :((

Coolest halloween costume? Don’t celebrate halloween but I remember that one time in 2016 I took the bus and saw approximately 30 Harley Quinns just frolicking outside HAHAH it’s a good costume though

Favourite 90s show? I was born in 2000 T~T I don’t know any 90s shows >< or their runtime....

Who was your last kiss? 17 years old and never been kissed :’) #ForeverAlone

Have you ever been stood up? By friends, yes. By a date....HAHA never had one so what am I saying *insert laugh cry emoji*

Have you ever been to Las Vegas? Oddly specific place but nope T~T never been outside of Asia

Favourite pair of shoes? These rip-off Timberlands I bought for $70 (*sobs*) but it received approval from several people so I’m happy :D

Favourite fruit? Um...apples? Idk really...

Favourite book? Ah geez...haven’t read a book in ages. Hmm... I do like the Hunger Games though, and the Maze Runner series although the movies don’t follow the books argh #triggered

Stupidest thing you’ve ever done? Photoshopping a friend’s receipt photo so it seems like she spent less (basically, I helped her lie) and now I hate myself for it.

Ultimate kpop group: SEVENTEEN RIGHT HERE!!! woops HAHA ignore that. But yes, SVT is my ultimate kpop group. A close second is BTS, but Monsta X is currently fighting for that spot. #Monteen *heart eyes*

Ultimate bias: Vernonnnnnnn >< My ultimate out of all the groups, but in SVT I have 3 biases, which is Vernon, Woozi and Jun <3

Tagging: @soft-smoll @heysnowyowl @my-woozi-happiness @liablackpandora @junghaans @seok-kyeom @seokyomie (optionalll although it’s fun reading about you guys HAHAH)

#send me more stuff like this i love doing it HAHHAHAHA

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malunedyne · 7 years ago

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*crack nuckles* de la 1 a la 100

oh noez (thank u)

1. What is you middle name? I only have one ;)

2. How old are you? I still can write 22

3. When is your birthday? this Friday!

4. What is your zodiac sign? Aquarius

5. What is your favorite color? Purple

6. What's your lucky number? I’d like to think it’s 8

7. Do you have any pets? A cat, Güero :3

8. Where are you from? México

9. How tall are you? 1.58, or so

10. What shoe size are you? 24 1/2

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? like 9 or 10

12. What was your last dream about? Oh I dreamt of Persona 5 for some reason, I can’t wait to play it!!!

13. What talents do you have? Hmm….. I think I can imagine funny situations and make people laugh at it

14. Are you psychic in any way? yah, something called "self-fulfilling prophecy” lol

15. Favorite song? Right now I can’t stop listening to Last Surprise, from the P5 ost lol

16. Favorite movie? Megamind, I guess (I’m so basic lmao)

17. Who would be your ideal partner? Someone who’s willing to deal with all of my stupid memes, ideas, theories and lots of queer stuff

18. Do you want children? yeah, but not rn

19. Do you want a church wedding? why not?

20. Are you religious? more spiritual than religious, I think

21. Have you ever been to the hospital? Yes, two years ago from now

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? Hmm I don’t think so, yet hehe

23. Have you ever met any celebrities? unfortunately, nope

24. Baths or showers? Shower

25. What color socks are you wearing? Pink

26. Have you ever been famous? I don’t think so

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? idk, I’d just like to be read, that’s all

28. What type of music do you likeA long spectrum of music, except reggaeton, banda, bachata, trap….. esas weas feas que tengo que aguantar bc contexto

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? nope

30. How many pillows do you sleep with? usually one or two

31. What position do you usually sleep in? fetal position haha

32. How big is your house? big enough

33. What do you typically have for breakfast? eggs and milk; in these internship hell days, i have tea, or cereal or milk or a cereal bar haha i’m fucked up

34. Have you ever fired a gun? nope

35. Have you ever tried archery? i like it, but i haven’t

36. Favorite clean word? Rainbow, it sounds as cute as it is

37. Favorite swear word? I said ‘fuck’ and ‘shit’ a lot, but the one I sense very powerful is ‘motherfucker’….. en español la que más uso es ‘pinche’, ‘verga’, ‘chingada’….. la verdad es que sí uso muchas groserías usualmente jkdfksjfdkj

38. What's the longest you've ever gone without sleep? 22 hours or so dfkjsl

39. Do you have any scars? yeah, plenty

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer? nah

41. Are you a good liar? depends, if i truly depend on lying

42. Are you a good judge of character? i think so

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own? yaaah, i can imitate some certain voices and manners of other people

44. Do you have a strong accent? nah, it’s more of a acute tune

45. What is your favorite accent? british english and japanese are both g r e a t

46. What is your personality type? INTP

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing? 54 dollar leather jacket, to that expensive, i’d rather use my money for other stuff rather than clothes

48. Can you curl your tongue? yah

49. Are you an innie or an outie? innie

50. Left or right handed? left handed

51. Are you scared of spiders? i a m, i c a n n o t s t a n d t h e m

52. Favorite food? pizza or pozole or ceviche or surimi

53. Favorite foreign food? I like the authentic udon

54. Are you a clean or messy person? messy, very messy

55. Most used phrased? “guess I’ll die”

56. Most used word? “no mames”, not a word, but it should be a whole lol

57. How long does it take for you to get ready?it depends, it can be from 15 minutes to 1 hour lol

58. Do you have much of an ego? it’s a fluid thing, sometimes i do, sometimes i don’t (it’s the depression, lol)

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? ehh suck

60. Do you talk to yourself? all the motherfucking time

61. Do you sing to yourself? i like when no one is home so i can sing, yeah

62. Are you a good singer? nope

63. Biggest Fear? the fear of being forgotten

64. Are you a gossip? yeah

65. Best dramatic movie you've seen? Grave of the Fireflies is most shocking one to me

66. Do you like long or short hair? why not both.jpg, i wanted to chop it so short to begin the year with short hair but my mom told me not to do that xD so i’m keeping it long

67. Can you name all 50 states of America? nah

68. Favorite school subject? everything that had to do with science, or arts, or literature

69. Extrovert or Introvert? introvert

70. Have you ever been scuba diving? nope

71. What makes you nervous? almost e v e r y t h i n g

72. Are you scared of the dark? depending on where i am

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? if i have a close relationship, yea

74. Are you ticklish? yep

75. Have you ever started a rumor? haha plenty of times

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority? being the therapist could count as being authority?

77. Have you ever drank underage? yes, but low tier drinks tbh

78. Have you ever done drugs? nope

79. Who was your first real crush? real crush haha why must you shame me? a guy in the elementary school: silent, tall, glasses and unreachable to me….. i have still that type tho

80. How many piercings do you have? cero

81. Can you roll your Rs?can i what?

82. How fast can you type? GOTTA GO FAST

83. How fast can you run? GOTTA GO FAST (x2)

84. What color is your hair? dark brown

85. What color is your eyes? dark brown as well

86. What are you allergic to? cold weather (my nose and eyes won’t stop tearing, ugh)

87. Do you keep a journal? i try to, when there’s something worth writing

88. What do your parents do? housewife and teacher

89. Do you like your age? i’m starting to want it to stop increasing in number

90. What makes you angry? a lot of things: war, poverty, impotence…. having to wait 5 years for a new zelda game

91. Do you like your own name? yeah, i can vary it in lots of ways

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?yeah, if it’s a boy, Dhani; if it’s a girl, I like Lucina and/or Olivia

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child? i think anything is fine tbh

94. What are you strengths? I have strong wills of healing

95. What are your weaknesses? i procrastinate e v e r y t h i n g

96. How did you get your name? my dad is a big fan of the moon and its symbolism and poetry and you know that stuff

97. Were your ancestors royalty? dunno, but i know my great grand father was chinese

98. Do you have any scars? yep

99. Color of your bedspread? el legendario cobertor de tigre blanco

100. Color of your room?ironically both my rooms are white, lol

2 notes · View notes

sassasquashedgrapes · 7 years ago

Text

Another Story: A Glee x Kissed by the Baddest Bidder Cross-over

It’s me again! Your friendly neighborhood, Squashed Grape.

It’s been a while since I got into the fanfic (or any literal stuff) and decided to do some fan service today. This is an old post but a goodie. You see, I’ve been a fan of Glee during the early days and was also a huge Otome player (lol. the closest to player I’ll ever be). And made this fanfic cross-over of sorts inspired from the Voltage Inc story, Kissed by the Baddest Bidder. Actually I *might* have switched the names a bit and the plot line is from the intro except for a few tweaks. Anyway, I just wanna lay it all down there so nobody starts yelling bloody murder.

After all, wasn’t 50 Shades like some fan service to Twilight, so haters can just move along now, Nothing to see.

So without much further ado, a short story cross-over for y’all!!

By the way, be prepared for a series of long fanfics of Glee coming at your way. This is only just the beginning of the Hargreave brothers.

click below

Another Story: Kissed By The Baddest Bidder/Glee Fanfic.

I’ve always been a huge fan of the otome game and the delicious notion of having someone used up for bidding, using the Glee characters seemed absolutely too good to resist. How could I? So shall we? Elian “Ian” Hargreave – Eisuke Ichinomiya Mike Chang – Soryu Oh, the cool mobster Noah Puckerman – Mitsunari Baba, the philandering theif Kurt Hummel – Ota Kisaki , the artist. Lol I know, Ota doesn’t swing that way but I always pegged Ota as a closet anyway. Cooper Anderson – Mamuro Kishi, the lazy detective and of course: Lucy Quinn Fabray – MC

Quinn Fabray is different in this storyline. I made a parallel universe of sorts, changing a bit of her past to make her come to her present future. So instead of moving to McKinley High, Lucy Q. Fabray’s father, Russel, dies of a heart attack and thus her mother remarries another man who worked as a hotel concierge manager in one of the most prestigious hotels in New York, the fictional hotel/casino Wyndham, (loosely based on the Waldorf Astoria) which is owned by then the family of Elian Hargreave’s grandfather who eventually takes over the hotel after graduating from high school. Quinn has grown up in the hotel, pretty much understanding and loving every detail and aspect of it, treating it as if it were her own family since she pretty much lead a lonely life in New York, being a small town girl from Ohio who turned out to grow into a beautiful young woman. This storyline is inspired by the Otome route of Eisuke Ichinomiya, whom I think was the best storyline for someone like her. I’m way too biased that I don’t think I want to share Soryu Oh with her, hahaha. Fast forward to the present, Quinn just graduated from Yale, but is now working he as a chambermaid in the hotel to earn extra cash at the same time pay for her college loans while she looks for a job.

Prologue: As I feel a trickle of sweat behind my back while being in the middle of the spotlight, I start to wonder as I stare into the crowd facing me “how on earth did I ever come to this?”

12 hours earlier

“Good morning,” I greet cheerfully as I swing open the door in locker room of the female changing hall as if I’ve done so many times over. I’m working during the summer as a maid at a hotel owned by the Hargreave Group, which is a large company that owns banks, trading companies, locally and overseas.

“Good morning, Lucy,” greets Marley, one of the maids who also works part-time in the hotel. I know for a fact that she looks old enough to still be in highschool, but I’ve never bothered to pry into matters like gossip. As long as they keep to their business, I keep to mine. But despite it, I feel like I could confide in her because she seems so open and nice.

“The VIP convention starts today. I am super excited,” Marley grins as she mentions one of the annual big events the hotel/casino throws.

“I’ll bet you’d be way too busy to get excited since you’ll be working at the casino floor,” I grin back thinking how exhausted I’m going to be once this convention is over. I’ve been living in the Wyndham since I was 15 after my dad died and my mother remarried. I’d come to love it as if it were my own family and was familiar with its daily routine until 4 years ago when it underwent a massive renovation into becoming the first hotel/casino in New York. It had been quite a scandal at first, with government officials opposing the idea of bringing “Las Vegas” to the metropolis, but the whole issue died down after a while and for the last two years, the Wyndham, became New York’s first legal casino and hotel.

“Don’t you wish you could work at the IVC?” Marley was referring to the International VIP Convention, one of the newly annual conventions frequented by Hollywood A-list stars, World leaders, socialites and big time businessmen who gathered once a year to play at the casinos and have a go into dabbling in a world of glamour

“Yeah, that would be great.” I agreed quietly.

“Well, that’s the goal of everyone who works here.” Marley sighed as she hunkered on the bench and rested her elbow on her knee as she propped her head on her hand. “I’ve been dreaming about it ever since I saw it on TV. Seeing movie stars, top athletes, and other super famous people all over the world gathered here in this party. I even heard Perez Hilton was so pissed that he didn’t get an invite.” She pursed her lips conspiratorially.

“You know, when I applied for this job a few months ago, I didn’t think I was going to be hired that I thought I was dreaming when I actually did.” Marley grinned happily. I smiled feeling how infectious her mood was, she was so upbeat by the whole thing, I didn’t want to look like a kill joy so I agreed.

“Oh my god.” She stopped suddenly as if she had thought of something of real importance. “What if some rich, famous guy falls in love with me at first sight?” I hope he knows you’re barely 18, I mentally think and almost utter it out loud but I stop myself and….

“Haha, keep dreaming.” I just say instead.

Whew, that was close. Our VIP guests are important, but I also value working for our regular guests, too. I had just graduated in a Marketing degree at Yale, but with the recession, jobs were scarcely handed and I didn’t feel the need to dabble in doing freebies as an Intern in a big corporation, when I could be earning much more doing it here in Wyndham. It really isn’t so bad. I really didn’t care that much about image anyway since moving to New York. Somehow the anonymity of it all had liberated me from the confines of the shallowness that I had experienced living in Lima, Ohio that I didn’t give a damn anymore.

I thought about the IVC, the International VIP Convention, Wyndham’s largest annual event is today and the international publicity with the media hanging around the area was totally insane. Unlike Marley, I had actually dreaded this more because I knew things were busier and a lot more tense than usual. My step-father, Charlie was one of the managers of the hotel and was in charge of the VIP guests lounge and had direct connections to the owner, Mr. Elian Hargreave. I heard a lot about the new owner, how accomplished he was despite his young age. He was featured in Forbes magazine as the most successful businessman under 40 years of age (rumors had it that he couldn’t be more than 30 years old.) He reminded me of a true-to-life Bruce Wayne, ridiculously handsome in a dark, mysterious way and was always surrounded by beautiful women. I knew my sister, Fran was crushing on him big time that she even begged Charlie for an introduction, but to no avail.

As we left the locker room and head to the hotel lobby, where a crowd of reporters and onlookers gathered, people whom I’ve only seen on TV or on a movie screen started appearing, strutting as if they were meant to walk down the red carpet and enter the magnificent lobby as if it were from a Hollywood movie scene.

“Oh. My God.” Marley’s mouth literally hung wide open. “Look who just got out of that limo.”

I crane my neck and look around thinking that she just saw the famous TV actress who was in a popular teen show. What was her name again? Elena Davenport? She was famous for being in this TV show about a love triangle between a vampire and a cyborg. It was insane how people were shouting her name as if it were part of her entourage. She looked stunning with her black hair and her golden skin that had obviously seen the tropics recently. She was then accompanied by an equally handsome young man who stood well over six feet tall and had a shock of black brown hair.

“That guy’s always on the VIP list. They call him the King,” Marley whispers as if we’re in church.

“I thought that was Elvis,” I quipped chuckling at her disgruntled look. I knew what she meant. I wasn’t one to get caught up in celebrity gossip, but that King she was referring to was no other than the owner of the Wyndham, Mr. Hargreave. He gallantly bowed offering his arm to Elena who gave him a dazzling smile as she took his arm. Hanging on the other side of his arm was also someone famous. I heard she was the new Broadway superstar and her name was Rachel Berry. Behind him was another famous model who often graced those ads in Vogue and a famous British reality show actress.

All the women around him are famous, I think dully as I look down in my frumpy uniform. For some odd feeling I felt a pang of something that I couldn’t understand wash over me. Before I had time to even think about it, Marley again interrupted my thoughts by whispering again on my ear.

“He’s been living in the penthouse suite for a while now.” “Of course he does, he owns the hotel.”

“But it costs tens and thousands of dollars to stay there for the night.” Marley argued.

“Maybe it’s a lot more convenient to keep tabs of work here than living on Park Avenue or at the East Side.” I shrugged watching as Mr. Hargreave pays no attention to the huge crowd and walks straight ahead.

I realize that I can’t take my eyes off him. I’ve heard the how the female hotel staff would gush about how hot he was, but seeing him in the flesh just took my breath away.

“Aaaah!!! Over here, Elian!!!” one of the women from the mass crowd screams holding a phone camera hoping to get a picture of him.

Suddenly, a group of women, thinking about doing the same thing start running towards him and bump into me and I feel myself being pushed right into the crowd and on to the red carpet.

SMACK!

I feel like I just hit a wall and close my eyes bracing myself for the pain to follow after the impact. Instead I feel a band of steel arms hold me close, as if to steady me from the madness. I then pry my eyes open and find myself staring into a pair of steel gray blue eyes that were placed like jewels on a handsome chiseled face.

Mr. Hargreave!!

“Aah, I- I’m so sorry,” I stammered, feeling the rush of blood flow straight at my face and into my brain as I continue to look at him, almost mesmerized yet horrified by what had just transpired. I still feel his arms around me and I could just tell that this multibillionaire really does work out because he’s practically hugging me right now.

“What do you think you’re doing?” a haughty voice belonging to the new Broadway ingénue pipes up beside Mr. Hargreave. She sounds almost disgusted by the sight of me. I can see from the corner of my peripheral vision that Elena Davenport was smirking as if amused by what was happening. God, I didn’t think she was such a bitch until now.

But instead of voicing that sentiment out, I knew I had a job at stake and right now it was totally hanging in the balance. I had just publicly humiliated myself in front of the owner of the hotel and his guests and was drawing unnecessary attention right now and it was more than I could honestly bear. I swallow and gather myself before bitchy Quinn Fabray comes out and try to mutter an apology again but am cut short by a curt, masculine and surprisingly sexy voice.

“Get out of the way,” Mr. Hargreave says as he suddenly pulls away from me, and pushes me not quite gently aside.

“What?” I mutter in disbelief as I lose my balance and fall flat on my butt to the ground.

Owwwww..

I look at slight disdain at the man who apparently was also my boss, but his muscular, tapered back was the only thing that could see that look on my face as I watch walk further away. He brushes off his suit as if he had just encountered a speck of dust and before I thought he had finally dismissed me, turns his head and shoots me a glare and then suddenly disappears into the casino hall.

I suddenly realize with a shock that I still had that look of displeasure on my face and grimaced as I rubbed my lower back, trying yet again to stead myself as the crowd disappeared into where Mr. Hargreave and his entourage were headed. Marley quickly comes rushing over to my side.

“Are you okay, Luce?” She asks me, totally concerned as she called me by my nickname. I haven’t been called Lucy for a while, I had been using Quinn since I had come to New York, but somehow there was a comfort in still being known as Lucy while here in the confines of the Wyndham.

“Yeah, my butt and my pride are fine,” I say.

“Oh my God. Mr. Hargreave caught you in his arms. I am so totally jealous! Did he smell nice? Was he really as buff underneath that suit as they say?” Marley was acting like a puppy dog fawning over that jerk.

“I don’t know, I don’t even r-remember,” I lied because I had just mentally scratched Elian Hargreave off as a completely cold, aloof, unfeeling human being. The nerve of that man! He didn’t even bother to defend me while I, one of his staff members, was berated by that Broadway bitch Berry.

Hmm. That had a nice ring to it. I feel tons better knowing that the girl could have used a plastic surgeon as good as the one who did my nose.

Come to think of it, Elian Hargreave was actually pretty frightening. I’ve seen how New Yorkers glare sometimes, but that cold look was totally at subzero levels worthy of the Artic.

I smooth out my clothes and hear the click clack of high heels behind me.

“Just what were you thinking, making a fool out of yourself?” a cold, voice tinged with an Italian accent snapped me back to reality. “And in front of such important guests and even the owner of this hotel?”

“Miss Thelma, “ I say coolly plastering a smile at one of the hotel managers. Thelma Caparano has been on my ass since the day I started working at the Wyndham when she found out I graduated with honors on my Marketing degree from Yale. Perhaps it was that and because I’m Charlie’s kid that she thinks I deserve to be more ill-treated than a worn-out mule from a third world country. She stands imposingly before me, all dressed up in her expertly tailored uniform as she clacked impatiently on her Prada heels waiting for me to answer her.

“I’m sorry, Ma’am. It was an accident…”

“You are at fault for not paying attention to what’s going on around you,” she clucked her tongue at me, looking at me disapprovingly under those heavy glasses that framed her would-have-been pretty-if-she-wasn’t-such-a-bitch face. She was probably a few years older than me, but the harshness of her demeanor just made her look like petulant and almost bratty for a woman in her mid-thirties.

“Aren’t you in charge of the regular guests, Fabray?” She asks with a smirk on her face.

Oh boy, she does enjoy torturing me.

“You have no business even being here in the lobby. Not unless you get promoted to handling the VIP guests. But you won’t get that chance, would you? Not even if you begged your stepfather.” She laughed as if she had just thought of that joke and it was funny.

Ugh. I am totally so close to slapping her but instead I reply setting my gaze downcast hoping that she won’t see me seething as I meekly reply “Yes, Miss Thelma.”

“Well, since you’re here,” she motions to one of her hotel assistants who was following her like a dog who hands over a box as she shoves it towards me. “Go to every floor and drop off these announcement letters while you’re at it. These are for the guests who wish to avail of the spa promo package we are having in honor of the IVC.”

“Okay,” I say since arguing about doing a herculean task is going to go nowhere anyway since this angry vampire is out for my blood. She’s always been a bully and since I would never dared complain of this to Charlie even though I could have, I decide I might as well just shut up and deal with it. I turn and nod to Marley, saying my goodbyes and head towards the elevators.

As I walk by, I see a man, about my age arguing with a young woman about something in front of the elevator. The woman is wearing a dress that looks like something from the recent Fashion Week runway as she throws a mask at the man at the same time spewing a litany of curses in fluent French.

“Connard!! Baise toi!” she screamed as the man looked back in her as if in shock. “You lying, cheating scum! I never want to see you again.” With that, she gave him a resonant slap in the face for added effect before she walked out of the hotel.

This is awkward. I turn my attention instead to the mask that looked as if it were something one wore to a masquerade ball. I suddenly got an image of 50 shades of Grey and find myself staring at the mask lying on the floor. I was about to pick it up when the man who was slapped earlier moves quicker than I could and in a blink of an eye was brushing it off as if were the only precious thing that mattered to him.

Wow, his hands were fast like those of a magician. I turn to look at him and realize that he wasn’t bad looking either. He was of above average height and was muscularly built, but a bit thicker than Mr. Hargreave. He also had dark hair and had the most dazzling pair of emerald green eyes I’ve ever seen. I couldn’t tell what his hair was like underneath that Fedora hat that just made him look like the epitome of 1920’s gangster cool in a modern way.

Fedora Hat sighs dramatically. “Great, now I don’t have a date.” He says as if talking to himself then realizes I’m watching him. When our eyes meet, I quickly look away self-consciously because I didn’t want him to know that I had been caught staring at him. I try to act cool despite the awkward tension but know that he saw me witness the whole thing.

“You saw that, didn’t you?” He smirks, as if reading my mind.

“Yeah. I-I’m really sorry.” I backed away slowly as if avoiding being pounced by some agitated animal.

“Aw, come on. Don’t run away,” Fedora Hat laughs as he gently takes my arm as he leads me towards the elevator, completely ignoring the fact that I’m in the hotel maid’s uniform with a box of undelivered fliers on the other arm. “I’ll explain everything when we get there.”

“S-Sir?”

Before I know it, the man ignores my protests and continues to guide me, half-dragging me into the elevator with him. We’re alone in the elevator and to be honest, this is the first time I’ve been to the basement area. I’m surprised that the basment’s elevator looks just as elegant as the regular floor elevators. It sort of reminded me of going into a secret lair of some evil villain but at the same time being cooped inside a glass bird cage of sorts. I tried to avert my attention to the man beside me and look instead at the buttons of the elevator as the blinking lights affirmed our descent to the unknown.

“Whew! I’m lucky I found you,” Fedora Hat grins at me, still holding onto my arm having no intention of letting me go. His grip isn’t painful nor in any way gentle, but it’s firm enough to hold me into place. As if wanting to distract me from thinking of it, he adds “coz there’s no way I could go to the party without a beautiful woman on my arm. That would be a total buzzkill.”

Buzzkill? Who says that sort of thing these days?

“Party? You mean, the IVC?”

“The One and Only. Isn’t it obvious how I’m dressed?” He opens one free arm to show his expensive Italian cut suit. Definitely Armani now that I got a closer look. And definitely custom made as it fits him perfectly.

“I-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that you—“

“Hahaha. I’m kidding, babe. Man, you’re kinda uptight for a pretty thing. Were you raised in some Christian Bible thumping school or something?”

“Uh, that’s because I work at this hotel,” I say slowly almost as if trying to hint that I’m still in my maid’s uniform, completely ignoring the fact that he’s actually right about me being Christian. “So technically, I can’t go with you to the party as your date, sir.”

“What are you talking about? The reason why that woman earlier left was so you could be my date, Lucy.” He smiles in the most seductive, sexiest way possible as he finally noticed the name plate on my uniform.

Whoa, this one’s pretty dangerous. And a hopeless flirt as well. I try not to show my fear when grabs my chin and lifts it up to meet his face as he peers down, bringing it closer to mine. I can feel his breath grazing against me as he looks into my eyes.

“Definitely my type. Angel blonde hair, mesmerizing green eyes, and luscious lips…” he trails on softly as I sort of feel his face coming closer. He moves way to fast and I try to squirm away, backing off thinking now I understood perfectly why he got dumped in the first place.

DING! Saved by the bell of the basement floor. The elevator arrives at a full stop at the ballroom and Fedora Hat quickly backs off and casually straightens himself as if nothing of importance was about to take place. He could even care less whether he kissed me or not. Jeez.

“Let’s rock and roll, Princess.” He announces and gives off a broad smile as if putting on a game face. And contrary to his calm demeanor, he drags me out into the ballroom before I can protest as I’m lead into the glamorous ballroom that reminded me from a scene of a Hollywood movie.

I gaped in awestruck fascination, marveling how I could have possibly missed out the new renovations at the Wyndham. The renovations had still managed to maintain some of the old architecture, paying detail to preserving its original Art Deco state, but added with contemporary minimalist design, it’s mixture was astounding and beyond words. I had no means of any background in architecture, but this was like walking into the Hall of Fame on architectural immortality. I was shocked that everyone present were almost nonchalant of the genius behind the design and how lavishly decorated the ballroom was to the point that even the catering was handled in the most A-list of ways. I turn my attention to the gorgeous Swarovski crystals that were adorning the chandeliers that were hanging from the high ceiling.

The entire floor was jam-packed with the rich and famous that I wasn’t even sure if I was hallucinating because it was too much sensory overload to be true. I turn my head and notice Cristian Renaldi, the famous World cup soccer player from Spain to my right. And that’s the famous Hollywood actress, Julie Moore. And even the former President of the United States is over there? I feel like Alice in Wonderland being wrapped around the surrealness of it all being around these celebrities that it takes me a moment to get back to earth and finally notice that Fedora Hat who had dragged me here in the first place was gone.

Huh? Where’d he go?

Suddenly, I hear a womanly voice from behind me.

“Hey, do you have any champagne?” I turn around and am surprised that it wasn’t a woman, but a young man with an angelic face whose skin was as flawless as fine bone china. He had soft, brown hair and bright blue eyes. He looked so familiar because his face was on the cover of this month’s issue of People Magazine being tagged as one of the 25the most beautiful People of the World of this year.

“K-Kurt Hummel!!!” I gasp, recognizing the mega hyphenate National artist/ Pulitizer prize winning Children’s Novelist/ Socialite.

“Oh, you know who I am.” He smiles brightly, happy to have been recognized in a sea of famous faces. “Thanks!”

“I-I’m sorry, I’ll look for the champagne now.” I mumble apolitically frantically looking for a bottle of Dom Perignon and Mr. Hummel chuckles behind me, as if thoroughly amused.

“You sure you work here, Alice?”

“P-Pardon?”

“You remind me of Alice in Wonderland when she fell down the rabbit hole and stumbled into the Mad Hatter’s party.” He moves away from me and reaches over the table behind me and lifts a bottle of Moet et Chandon and pours himself a glass. He then thrusts his newly refilled glass towards me nudging me to take a drink.

“Here. You could use one more than me,” he grins. I was about to protest but there was something harsh in his eyes telling me not to defy him as I emptied my glass.

“T-Thanks,” I was about to take the bottle and refill his glass for him when he shakes his head and takes the glass from my hands and pours himself another.

“Now, go on to doing whatever it was and I hope you get back home safely, Alice,” was all he says as he raises his champagne glass, giving me a wink of good luck for whatever it was I was about to partake. He leaves with a wave.

He definitely was spot on about what I was feeling right at that moment.

I should definitely get out of here before I cause any more trouble.

But before I do, another man stops me from my tracks. He’s over fifty, overweight, and perhaps a bit slightly drunk as he grins at me and grabs my hand. Ugh, he also seems really sleazy. “Aren’t you a pretty one?” He slurs and I inwardly flinch from the smell of alcohol and sweat coming from him. “You wanna come with me and give me room service? I’ll make it worth your while and give you a big tip afterwards.

Ewww. His head is shaped like an egg and his pock-marked face is flushed as he looks me up and down.

“I’m sorry, sir but we don’t offer that kind of service here.” I answer politely, knowing that we had been trained beforehand on how to deal with rude perverts like this guest.

He completely ignores me and starts going on how rich he is and how much is net worth is.

To be honest, it wasn’t really much.

He then slips his arm around my waist and is about to pull me towards him when…

“This party just got really trashy.” A familiar masculine voice announced icily. I turn my head towards my savoir and realize that it’s Mr. Hargreave. He ignores my gasp of surprise and scowls at the sleaze holding me.

“I’d rather appreciate it, sir, if you kept your attention from the hotel staff and settle instead for the bevy of beauties surrounding you,” Elian Hargreave grinned sardonically nodding his head towards a group of runway models who flirtly waved back. And just when I thought he couldn’t intimidate the sleazebag, he looked at me as if I were a piece of trash marring the ambience and added cruelly. “Besides, you could totally do better than THAT. This one’s hardly a raving beauty.”

“I-I’m really sorry, Mr. Hargreave, sir! Pardon me!!!” Sleazebag bows apologetically quickly letting go of me as if he had been burned and kept his distance from me like I was infected with Ebola or something. He furiously wipes away his sweat and runs off.

“T-Thank you, Mr. Hargreave,” I say, totally ignoring the pain that he had brushed me off as a ugly and unattractive. But then again, men like him are probably used to just dating models that even ingénues were all blasé for him.

“Let’s go, Elian,” one of the pretty models whom he nodded to a while back approached him and casually hooked her arm around his, totally ignoring me.

“I can’t stand people who don’t know their place,” another one of those long legged giraffes piped in hooking her arm around his other free one as if she were about to die in a desert and he was her oasis.

As if he didn’t even acknowledge my existence and hadn’t even heard me, he turned his back as if nothing had ever happened a few minutes ago before being led away by the Amazonian Brazilian bimbos. He starts walking still surrounded by women and I’m completely overwhelmed as I watch him walk away. I suddenly notice a purple handkerchief on the floor behind him. I remember this being a part of his suit and realize that he dropped it.

Almost without thinking, I picked it up and started going after him.

“Uhm, sir! Excuse me, I think you dropped this—“ I try to chase after Mr. Hargreave but he gets lost in the crowd and I can’t seem to find him.

Oh, wait! There he is!!

I make my way through the crowd and follow him as he makes an exit to the far end of the ballroom.

A long, deserted hallway stretches out behind the door that Mr. Hargreave enters.

“Wait. Where did he go?”

There are several doors on either side of the hallway and I didn’t catch up with him in time to even know which doors did he enter. However, I hear voices coming from the far end. But somehow, as I strain to hear from the distance I get the feeling the conversation wasn’t even in English. I shake my head, thinking that I really have to return this handkerchief back to Mr. Hargreave, I strengthen my resolve and make my way towards the door where the voices were coming from. I note the door is slightly ajar, which explains why I could hear them. I peek through the gap and see several briefcases lying on a table surrounded with guns and large sums of money being packed by three Asian looking men dressed in all black discussing where to put the money in perfect Cantonese and before I could see more, I feel a large hand grab me by the shoulder and roughly pulls me away, swinging me around and forces me up against a wall…

Fear and surprise of being caught seeing something I shouldn’t have take over that I feel like I just might have suffered my first heart attack.

But unfortunately, that doesn’t happen.

Instead, my heart starts pounding again in fear as I’m facing a tall, Asian man of slim, yet muscular build with broad shoulders and powerful muscles who is now glaring at me and asks in in slightly cold, yet scarily threatening voice. His hair is slicked back and even though I know he’s actually quite good looking, I’m paralyzed with fear to hardly even notice.

“What are you doing here?” He demands as he pins me against the wall as his sharp eyes look at me.

Oh dear, God.

It happened so suddenly my body starts to tremble as I start to realize that maybe he is one of those gun men and those men aren’t just hotel guests. But Mafia? Triad?

What on earth should I do?

I breathe and swallow but it’s way too hard to even do so. Instead I focus on his face and answer.

“I-I- w-w-ork h-he---“ He completely ignores me and says instead, “you’ve got give seconds to walk away, disappear and forget everything you just saw. Got it? Otherwise, I’d hate to think what would happen to you after.” He also said it in a way that sounded like he was talking to a five-year old. A not very bright one at that too.

I nod wordlessly over and over, desperate to get away and he immediately lets me go. I run so fast my legs get tangled up with each other at first and don’t even think of where I’m headed. I just run to the point of exhaustion and find myself at the basement storage room. I close the door behind me and try to catch my breath, relieved with the fact that I have just barely escaped with my life as I offer a silent prayer and make the sign of the cross in complete gratitude that the scary Asian Mafia guy just let me go.

I ruminate over the thought of how it was possible for the Triad, one of the notorious Asian Mafias could be tied up to an event like the IVC? Were those guys even part of the Triad? Maybe they weren’t even mafia.

Get a hold of yourself, Fabray. Keep it together. I have just realized right at this moment I had actually lost the box of flyers I was holding earlier. I wasn’t sure if I had lost somewhere from that struggle between me and Fedora Hat, or that Mad Hatter encounter with Kurt Hummel, or even with the Middle Aged Sleazebag . I try again to get my body to function properly as I compose myself thinking over again where I had last left it and realized that it was on the table where I had been with Mr. Hummel.

Just as I swing the door open, I hear a loud crashing THUD.

The door I just swung had collided into something and I could hear a group of men scream “Watch out!!!”

I see two mean-looking men peeking at the other end of the door looking helplessly as the box they were carrying drops to the ground.

“Shit! That was the Winged Victorian Angel!”

Oh no. I remember from the news that this 300 year old museum artifact was meant to be raffled off as the grand prize at the IVC. It had been shipped all the way from the Louvre in Paris as a gift from the newly elected French President to the United States. The proceeds of the IVC’s funding and the raffle were meant to help the victims of Typhoon Haiyan somewhere in the Philippines.

I quickly open the crate box and find the statue was broken in half and my heart just drops to my stomach in nameless shock.

I am way too shocked to even mutter an apology. Not only did I just destroy what might have been a National Treasure, millions of homeless Filipino children were going to starve and suffer.

“Hey, this was a very important piece that was going to be auctioned off.” The slim mean-looking guy barks at me, ignoring my shocked state. Did he just say auctioned? Didn’t he mean it was going to be raffled?

“How are you gonna pay for this?” Asks the Fat Meanie beside him.

“Uh…..Sorry?”

“You think an apology is gonna cut it? You owe us, bitch!”

The men reach out to me and….

……………..

And I find myself being auctioned off. The host of the eveing had just announce d that the next bid was me, a healthy fit young Caucasian American.

Is this even legal? I think as I swallow in fear hearing the bids knock from $2 million to higher. I got put up in place of that Winged Victory Angel.

The mere fact that someone just started the bid off at $2 million was unreal.

I could barely make through the crowd as everyone was wearing masks similar to the masquerade mask Fedora Hat had with him when his date dumped him. But somehow I felt with a sinking dread that the person who placed the initial bid was the Middle Aged Creep from before. Oh crap, is he really going to buy me? I definitely do NOT want that at all.

“$2 million, going once……going twice……”

I heard the announcer say that I’d be a slave, or a toy, or……God knows. This is horrible. I try to shake myself off this nightmare, but I know what I’m going through right now was just as real as everything that partook 12 hours ago.

Oh God, how did I get to this? I fall to my knees, hang my head in shame as I feel the tears well in my eyes start to overflow.

I start praying hoping that Charlie, or my Mom or Fran could find me before it’s too late…..

Just then….

The auction hall suddenly buzzes with commotion as the announcer stops from closing the deal.

“Seat number 100 with a bid for $20 million cash.”

The crowd is drawn into complete silence.

I peer through the gates to look for 100, but whoever was bidding was not in the crowd. All I could do was stare up at the sum of the winning bid, completely dumbfounded as a bell sounds, calling the auction to a close.

“Sold to Seat Number 100 for $20 million. Thank you!!”

Someone bought me for twenty million US dollars?

My cage is carried over to the edge of the stage. As I get off, I’m greeted by two masked men. They weren’t the mean jerks from earlier but something about them looks vaguely familiar. One of them looked to be wearing a Fedora Hat.

Fedora Hat bought me? Before I even get the chance to ask, Fedora Hat in the mask grabs my arm and says” This way….”

Wait, what the heck am I being so nervous for? At least it’s Fedora Hat who bought me and not that Middle Aged Creep. But where are they going to take me now?

And who bought me?

I feel totally numb from this crazy situation that I don’t even notice that I’m brought up into the penthouse.

I gasp in marvel looking at my surroundings, knowing that out of all the hotel employees, only Charlie and a few other managers were ever allowed to come up here.

Wait, speaking of Charlie, does he even know about those weird auctions happening at the basement?

“We brought her, boss.” Fedora Hat announces to the man in the immaculate tux seated on one of the elegant sofas. Like Fedora Hat and the other man, he was also wearing a mask, but something about him looked made me sense that I’ve also encountered this man before. Even the other man seated beside him also with a shock of black hair was also wearing a mask also seemed vaguely familiar.

“Wait. You’re----“

“We bought you,” Mr. Hargreave says indifferently, removing his mask as if he didn’t even hear what I was about to say. The other man beside him followed suit.

“Guess we did end up seeing each other again,” the Asian Mafia guy remarks in the same casual, yet cold tone.

“You know this woman, Mike?” Hargreave raises his eyebrow almost as if in disbelief.

“You can say that.” He shrugs, not really giving a toss.

“Wait. You bought me? In that auction” I stammer, trying to still make sense of it all.

“He means WE won you, Alice.” Kurt Hummel corrects as I turn around in disbelief as he removes his mask as well.

“For $20 million, Princess. The boss must have it bad.” Fedora Hat grins as he casually throws his mask and lays it on the next empty sofa.

“M-Mr. Hummel?” I squeak, not sure if I was asking if Fedora Hat was referring him as ‘the boss’ or if I was just asking a reaffirmation that I knew at least another familiar but friendly face.

“Pffft!!! She doesn’t even know you’re name, Puck.” Kurt laughs.

“That because I didn’t have the time to tell her,” the man named Puck crosses his arms as if he were a pouting kid who wasn’t included in a game of tag.

“Isn’t this some form of human trafficking? I shouldn’t have even been up for that stupid auction in the first place.”

“Hey, anything and everything’s for sale at that auction.” Puck grins matter-of-factly, completely oblivious to the fact that I had stated it being against my own free will.

“Absolutely,” Kurt agrees. “You can buy almost anything there. Like stolen art, government secrets, and even hire a hitman!”

“That was last year, wasn’t it?” Puck asked as I noticed that he and Kurt were the only chatty ones in the group while the other two men watched silently.

“Anyway, this was the first time anyone was sold off in the manner of fashion you had earlier,” Kurt says tilting his head as if trying to understand what was really going on. “You must have done something really bad to put yourself up there, huh?”

“Well…….I accidentally broke the Winged Victory Angel….” My voice trails off and I realized that something wasn’t right here. Wait a minute, weren’t they just talking about selling black market things in a legal casino that by the way just happens to be in a highly publicized area? Was this even legal at all? “Who in the world would approve of these things? Do the police even know?”

“Well, to answer question number one. I did approve of it.” Mr. Hargreave says as if bored by this whole conversation.

“What?”

“If it’s worth anything, it’s here.” Hargreave scoffs and laughs coldly.

“Reckless as always,” Mike shakes his head. “This woman isn’t even worth anything.”

“Think about it for a moment,” Hargreave looks at me up and down as he folds his arms looking at me as if he were the predator toying with his prey. “Won’t it be fun coming up with ways to use her?”

“What gives you the right to decide that?” I ask exasperated.

“Who gave you permission to speak?” Hargreave asks coldly, merely raising an eyebrow.

“Huh?”

“Not another word unless I. SAY. SO.” Hargreave says, savoring the last three words, enunciating them slowly as if threatening me to not disobey him.

“If you’ve got a problem, we could always send you back to be auctioned off.” Mike sneers as if finding this even more amusing.

These guys are so scary. I’d rather die first than be sold off again.

I shake my head looking at both men, pleading them that I won’t disobey.

“Come on Boss……Mike……You two should be nice to the girls,” Puck quips, trying to lighten the mood, but honestly it fell a bit flat. Not that I’d feel better either way.

“We need to figure out who gets to keep her,” Kurt says, as if now he’s the one who was bored by the whole turn of the conversation. Though he acts as if he wants everything finalized, I get the feeling that he’s not entirely happy with the idea of having me for a slave. In fact, he looks rather…….reluctant. I’ve heard rumors that Mr. Hummel was gay, but I didn’t think now would have been the best times to actually confirm that. So instead I ask the second question that’s been nagging me.

“What do you mean, who gets to keep me? Didn’t you all buy me?”

“Yes, that’s true. But that’s really not your concern now.” Puck says. “If I were you, I’d choose me. I’m the only good guy here, so you can rest easy.”

“Says the world-famous thief and con-artist,” Elian Hargreave snorts derisively.

“Now, now Elian, you’re just trying to make Puck look bad.” Kurt says as if coming to his friends defense. “You’ve already got tons of groupies, why don’t you just play with one of them and let the rest of us have our fun?”

And to think I thought Kurt Hummel was safe because I assumed he was gay.

Guess again, batman.

“Mike Chang’s the one who could have his pick,” Hargreave threw a smirk towards the cool Asian mobster guy’s direction. “Women would do anything to be the lover of a Hong Kong mobster.”

So he really was part of the Mafia.

Who ARE these people? I’m speechless but I try to pull myself together and try to shake some last-minute common sense in them.

“Human trafficking IS illegal, you know. I’m going to report this to the police and I don’t care who you are.”

“You see a cop anywhere?” Elian Hargreave throws his head as if calling out to no one in particular. I follow his gaze and see a worn-out looking man standing by the window smoking a cigarette. He looks to be the older of the bunch, probably around 35 in age. Rather good-looking, in fact he sort of reminds me of that guy who plays a thief on TV except that he looks disheveled and hasn’t shaved in a week.

“Damn it, don’t just blow my cover like that,” he groans as if he didn’t even want to be a part of this conversation.

“Better now than later, right Detective Cooper?” Kurt giggles as if enjoying himself.

“Shut up, Hummel.”

“Oh, don’t be so mean. Just because I’m dating your brother doesn’t mean you have to be so rude.”

“Wait, you’re a cop?” I ask incredulously, ignoring the fact that Kurt Hummel just confirmed he was openly gay.

“Yup.” Apparently, the Detective spoke the fewest words possible.

I seriously CAN NOT believe that even the police are in on this.

“Well, it looks like we’re not going to reach a decision any time soon.” Kurt announces, really emphasizing on the obvious.

“Well Boss, at times like these….” Puck begins but Elian Hargreave cuts him off immediately.

“Right. I don’t want to waste anymore time.” Hargreave nods and stands up with Mike Chang following suit. All the men except for the Detective stand up and saunter over to me with Mr. Hargreave standing in the center of the group with his arms crossed looking down at me with cold eyes.

“Make a decision,” he says. “I’ll let you choose who buys you.”

---END---

Elian Hargreave. Be ready to hear more of another Hargreave, Elian was just the prototype of my OC in the next series of fanfics.

#glee #glee fanfiction #quinn fabray #voltage otome #otome guys #kissed by the baddest bidder #kbtbb #kbtbb eisuke #kbtbb soryu #kbtbb baba #mike chang #kurt hummel #noah puckerman #kbtbb ota

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retrauxpunk · 7 years ago

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retrauxpunk trivia

Tagged by @i-just-love-good-music! Thank you! (:

What’s your favorite musical?

The Book of Mormon (Wicked is a close second)

How do you get to sleep?

The standard boring lie-down-wait-fall-asleep method if I’m with my boyfriend, staying up late and tiring myself out drawing/reading/browsing if I’m alone

What happened at the last party you went to?

I ate lots of food, became lightly drunk, had glitter applied to my face, acquired a flower crown, danced to Bruno Mars songs, and talked to a lot of computer programmers.

Have you ever smoked a cigarette?

Of sorts…

What’s your hair like at this present moment?

Like a shaggy pixie cut, tealy blue (with a couple months’ black regrowth). I love it.

Are you more comfortable sitting or lying down?

Sitting for most things, lying down for like… making out and stuff

What’s the worst film you’ve ever seen?

Assassin’s Creed. I even wrote a review about it because it was so bad, which you can read here.

Are you an untidy person?

A little.

Have you ever been a fan of *NSYNC?

Nope

Do you watch a lot of television?

Not really, but once I get into a show then I tend to binge

Do you think you’re fat sometimes?

Nah

Do you like to flex your muscles?

Every now and then it brings me joy to see that after months of sporadic and infrequent going to the gym, I actually have things resembling biceps now (if I flex).

Do you think you’ll ever get plastic surgery?

Unless it’s some blisteringly cool yet 100% safe sci-fi-esque body mod, no.

Have you ever completely misunderstood what somebody was saying?

Hasn’t everyone?

Favorite kind of cake:

CHEESECAKE. FUCK ME UP. I FUCKING LOVE CHEESECAKE. Lemon, berry, and chocolate flavours are great.

Was it a boy or a girl to text you last?

Boy

Name something you are doing tomorrow?

Being home so the BT guy can come and set up Internet

Do you sleep on your stomach?

Nah

Where are you going to be at 4 PM tomorrow?

Home probably? Or at the gym maybe.

Last time you saw fireworks, with whom & where?

I can’t remember exactly, but I think it was New Year’s Eve 2015, with my boyfriend in a riverside park in Hamburg.

Are you missing someone?

Nah

Do you like horror or comedy?

Comedy please

Who did you last share a taxi with?

Boyfriend

Dogs or cats?

How dare you make me choose. I choose this: a cat with the personality of a dog.

What were you doing at 12 this afternoon?

It’s not 12 yet … yesterday I was at the Notting Hill Carnival, which I have realised is not really my jam but oh well I tried

Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 months from now?

Probably

What’s your favorite season? Why?

Autumn because the leaves are gorgeous, it’s a good temperature, and I don’t know if it’s true or not but I have this weird idea that it rains more in spring than autumn so yeah, autumn please.

When’s the last time you did something you knew was wrong?

Lost my temper and snapped (as in verbally) … today? Yesterday? Hasn’t been an excellent past 24 hours…

Did you have any unread text messages this morning when you woke up?

Literally no-one texts me (because the Internet exists)

Who was the last person you hugged?

My boyfriend

Do you think you would be a good parent?

Yes … but I really don’t want to be one.

When was the last time you cried?

This morning haha fun times

Who was driving the last time you were in a car?

The Uber driver

Does any part of your body hurt right now?

Sore abs if I move/cough/sneeze.

Do you like your bed?

It is nondescript but comfortable, so yeah?

Have you ever broken someone’s heart?

Yes

When did you last talk to your brother or sister?

I have neither

Do you ever want to know who you are going to marry?

Ehh. I’ll wait.

How much cash do you have on you?

£42?

Are you tanned?

I don’t think so …I live in the UK so that must be a no

Did you get any compliments today?

Nope

Have you ever gone to court?

Visited a courthouse on a school excursion, but thankfully have never had to go for legal reasons oh my god I hope I never have to set foot in a courtroom in my life

Do you get jealous easily?

Hell yes lmao

Would you ever want to swim with the sharks?

I would (and have, once) scuba dived in the presence of non-aggressive sharks. It was awesome. I mean, I just saw one grey nurse shark, but I was a few metres from it, and it was great.

What are you doing Saturday?

I think I’m seeing a comedy show…

What is in your back pocket?

I am typing this while naked in bed

What were you doing at 3 AM this morning?

Browsing the net because I was feeling shite, and chatting to a friend

What do you usually do first in the morning?

Check my phone because that’s what we’re like these days

Are you any good at math?

HAHAHA no

Any plans for Friday night?

Nope

Do you have a little crush on someone?

Nah. I mean, besides the steady celebrity crush on Roger Waters throughout the ages but with the exception of the immediate post-Floyd era.

How old is the last person you kissed?

Why did you kiss the person you last kissed?

He was leaving for work and we were saying goodbye

Tagging: @younglusts @the-division-barrett @richard-are-youready @nicholasberkeleymason and anyone who wants to do this!

#hmmm #about me

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lovemesomesurveys · 7 years ago

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Why did you close the door the last time you closed one? I last closed my bedroom door. We have to keep the bedrooms and the bathroom doors closed to keep our pup out. Stripes or polka dots? Polka dots. Do you care if people touch you when they’re talking to you? I don’t mind like a tap on the shoulder or arm. What is your gender? Female. Do you think that people think its obvious? Yes.

How long did your first date last? The duration of a movie and dinner. Is your favorite color within 10 feet of you? One of them is, yes. Highlight of your day? I had pizza for lunch. ha. Would you rather be on a boat or a plane? Plane. Can you tell when girls (or guys) have eyeliner on? Yeah? That’s an obvious thing. Can you cook? Nope. How high is your ceiling? I don’t know. Whats the worst job you can think of? Surgeon. I’m much to squeamish for that. I can’t handle the sight of blood or other bodily fluids. I can’t imagine cutting into a body or doing anything with organs. I just couldn’t do it, but I am so thankful that there are people who can! Do you swear a lot? No. Does the last person you texted have an O in their name? Yes. Her first name does, but also so does “mom.” ha. Is everything working in your house? Yeah. Would you rather have a pool or a trampoline? Pool. Does pop give you energy? No. TV show you love with a passion? I have a lot of favorites. Do you think you learned anything from the worst night of your life? Not sure what I would consider the “worst night of my life.”

Perfect age to get married? I don’t think there is a “perfect” age.

Is it safe to say you own over 20 pairs of shoes? No. Name a career path that women are known for taking. Nursing. Favorite type of cookie? Sugar and shortbread. A quality you look for in choosing a significant other? Sense of humor. What would I find if I looked in your pocket? No pockets. I don’t use them anyway. What was your first word? No idea. A musical instrument you wouldnt mind learning how to play? I would just like to get back into piano and really take it seriously and put in the practice. Last time you went to 7-eleven? It’s been awhile. I actually live really close to one, too. I missed free Slurpee day today, too. A fast food restaurant that you hate with a passion? I don’t like KFC at all. I’m not big on Wendy’s, but I can eat it. Does everyone in your family have a job? No. As far as my immediate family goes, I’m the only one who doesn’t. Going anywhere this weekend? No. Is your room ever clean? It’s always clean. I sometimes have unfolded clothes on my bed, but that’s it. What does it mean when youre being quiet? It can be anything or nothing. I’m just a quiet person. Last person you had a face to face conversation with? My dad. Wheres your phone? To the right of me. Do you know the difference between your and youre? You’re*, yes. How late did you stay up last night? I dozed off around 330ish, woke up again at like 5:45, fell asleep again around 6, and slept until almost 1. Anyone youre ready to kill? Um, NO. Do you need to get a tan? I could use a little tan, sure. What do you want? Good health. Favorite TV show as a kid? Barney when I was really little.

Whats a show that you absolutely refuse to watch? 2 Broke Girls and The Big Bang Theory. How many times have you been in love? Twice. Go camping or go to a party? Neither. Do you remember how old you were when you started swearing? The most I would say as a teenager was like “hella.” Haha. Yeah, real rebel over here. I didn’t really start to cuss until after high school, and it was only around friends. Now I don’t really cuss at all. I just never was a big cusser. How many years older than you would you date someone? Not sure, honestly. Not too much older. What was the last thing you pinky swore on? With my doctor that I would do something I’m supposed to be doing. Would you consider yourself a nice person? I think so. Are there a lot of mirrors in your house? No. Has there ever been a serial killer in your house? Uh, no.

Do you know anyone who looks like Adam Sandler? No. True or false: Glee is annoying. I didn’t watch it. Last thing you cooked? I warmed up something in the microwave. That’s about the extent of “cooking” for me. lol. Do you use slang often? I don’t know if I’d say often. Maybe I don’t notice. Wear glasses? Yes.

About how old was the last person that hit on you? I don’t recall the last time I was hit on. What color are your headphones? Pink and white. Would you make a good teacher? Why? No. Dont you hate those commercials that try too hard? So all commercials? Is the fan on? Yes, of course. Any special reason why youre taking this survey? Nope. There’s aren’t any special reasons why I take a survey lol. I just do them. What does the last text message you sent say? “Pizza.”

Your friend needs you to run to the store to get a pregnancy test. Do you? Sure. Do you log out on facebook when you leave the site? No. That would be annoying to have to sign in every time. It’s my laptop, so I don’t have any reason to log out of anything. What color are your underwear? Black. How short are your nails? Short. Basically not there. Do you like the opposite sex to be dominant or you the one in control? I like them to be dominant. Favorite holiday? Christmas. If I asked you to point to Ohio on a map of the US do you think you could? Yes. Youre locked in a room with spiders. Do you have an issue? UM YEAH I HAVE A HUGE ISSUE WITH THAT. Do you wear your most expensive item of clothing often? No. Do you eat a lot of food? Not like I used to.

Have your parents ever tried to control your relationship? No. Have you ever had to give someone directions before? Yeah, well more like attempted. I’m the worst person to give directions. Don’t ask me. Speaking of which, are you good at understanding driving directions? I don’t drive. How many people do you text daily? I don’t text daily, and if I do text it’s either with one of my parents or my brother. Do you play any instruments? Which instruments do you play? No. Is there anyone who you call by their last name? No. What did you do on your last birthday? Dinner, cake, and presents with my family on my actual birthday and then we went out to eat at my favorite restaurant the next night with my older brother and his boyfriend. Which of the Seven Deadly Sins do you commit the most? Envy. Has anyone ever told you that you’re incapable of whispering? No. What is your least favorite subject in school? Math. Have you ever been involved in a custody battle before? No. Do you know a couple who constantly sucks on each other’s face? No. When was the last time you watched a YouTube video? Yesterday. Have you ever babysat a newborn baby before? No. When was the last time you held someone’s hand? I held my dog’s hand earlier. ha. How many meals have you eaten today, so far? One. I’m about to eat dinner, though. Do you think it’s stupid for people to call others “hot?” No... Do you personally think Wikipedia is a reliable source? I check it for some things, mostly regarding celebrities. Have you ever shopped at Wet Seal before? Did you like it? I have. It was okay. Do you care about spending money if it’s someone else’s money? Yes. What is your favorite Disney movie of all time? Alice in Wonderland. When you were a child, did you ever want to become a wizard/witch? No. Would you rather have hardwood floors or carpet? Hardwood floors except for the bedrooms, in which I would want carpet. Who was the last person you yelled at? Why? My brother. As a kid, did you ever go to camp? It was a thing where I live for the 6th grade class to go to science camp, so I did that. I also went to a Girl Scout camp thing. Have you ever made out in a movie theater before? No. Are you currently trying to learn to play any instrument? No. When was the last time you went somewhere you thought was haunted? Never. Who was the last person to compliment you? *shrug* How old were you when you got to go on your first date? Twenty-two. Would you call your parents over-protective or under-protective? Over protective. Did your parents ever let you play in the pits of those multicolored balls? Yeah. Have any of your siblings ever had a crush on your significant other? No. Are you the jealous type? I can be. When was the last time you felt like you were high on life? Never. Do you know someone who cares about themselves more than their child? No. Do you still watch cartoons on television? I sometimes watch Rugrats, Doug, and Hey Arnold. What do you usually order at Taco Bell, if you go there? Bean burrito, no onions, extra sauce. Is there anyone currently annoying you? Nope. Do you have freckles? Yes. How many dogs do you have, if any at all? One. Have you ever witnessed someone being beaten up? No. Do you think biting is weird or sexy? It can be both, depending on the situation. Would you rather be called hot or beautiful? Beautiful. Have you ever had a pet turtle before? No. Do you still sleep with your parents when you’re scared sometimes? lol it’d be a little weird if I, a twenty-seven year old, did that. Have you ever met someone with two different color eyes? No. Have you ever felt like someone was following you? Yes. What color shirt are you wearing at the moment? Black. Do you enjoy going school shopping? That was the only thing I looked forward to when I was in school. haha. Do you think Pug dogs are adorable or just plain ugly? That reminds me of that creepy Mountain Dew commercial with the pug and it has like baby doll legs instead of its real legs and it goes around saying, “Puppy monkey baby.” It’s so weird! Have you ever met someone who completely resembled their pet? No. I’ve seen pictures of people who resemble a dog, though. What was the worst substance you’ve spilled on yourself before? Hot coffee and hot food. Have you ever made out with more than one person in one night? No. Do you think there is a soulmate out there for everyone? I’m not sure. I don’t think there is for me.

Do you like short or long surveys the best? Long. Have you ever bought fake money and tried to make it pass for real? No. Are your siblings nice the majority of the time? Yes. Do you freak out when a thunderstorm comes along? I do, but I also love them? How often do you shower? Every other day. Have you ever had to sell something for a school fundraiser? Yeah. How many sodas do you usually drink in one day? One. Have you ever met someone who was completely weird all-around? lol :X Do you ever watch any soap operas? No. They’re just so cheesy and over the top. Also, in my opinion, the acting isn’t good at all. Have you ever met someone who was mean to everyone? Yes. Do you usually have a low tolerance for pain or high tolerance? Low. Would you rather eat or sleep? Sleep. Are you one of those die hard Twilight or Harry Potter fans? I was at one point.

Do your parents ever force you to talk to your grandparents? No. They wouldn’t have to, I was close with my maternal grandparents when they were alive and I’m close with my paternal grandma, so. I like to talk to them on my own. Do you think long surveys are boring or entertaining? They can be either, it depends on my mood. <<< Same. Sometimes I just get annoyed. Have you ever learned that someone had lied to you all along? Yeppp. Have you ever wanted to be a lawyer? No. Have you ever had to bail someone out of jail before? No. Is there anyone in your immediate family who was adopted? No. Do you know anyone who doesn’t have any common sense? I’ve known people who seemed to lack in that department. When was the last time you bought something? Today. Do you think you look anything like your parents? A little. What are your plans for this weekend? Nothing. What color is your significant other’s hair? I’m single. Have you ever applied for a job at Walmart before? No. Would you ever become a foster parent? I don’t know if I’ll ever become a parent at all. Are you ashamed of anyone in your family? No. The only person I’m ashamed of is me. Would rather talk to someone on a landline or a cell phone? I don’t like talking on the phone regardless. Has anyone ever given you a psychiatric assessment? Yes. What is your favorite amusement park? Disneyland. Did you ever have braces? Yes, but not for my teeth. What is cuter: kisses on the forehead of the cheek? Forehead. Do you believe in evolution or creation? Creation. Would you rather take a bath or a shower? Why or why not? Shower. Does it bother you when people touch your personal items? Depends what it is. When was the last time you did something sexual? Never. Do you collect anything? What? Giraffe stuff. Are you better at hand-drawing things or painting? I’m horrible at drawing. I don’t have any creative or artistic talent. Have either of your parents ever called you a failure before? No. They would never. I call myself one, though. Have you ever suspected someone of cheating on you? No. When you get married, will you convert your last name? That’s a “if” not a “when”, but I like my last name so I think I’d hyphenate. Are your parents divorced, married or separated? Married. Has someone ever left a relationship with you for someone else? No. What’s the most painful thing you’ve ever experienced? Losing my grandparents and my dog, Brandie. When was the last time you went shoe shopping? It’s been a long time. My last new pair of shoes was a Christmas present. Are you a part of any clubs at your school, if you still go to school? No longer in school. Do you know someone who wears a wig? No. What is your best friend’s last name? Mom. ha. When was the last time you cried? For what reason? A couple days ago. Just life and frustration. What is your favorite shop to go to at the mall? I like to check out a few different ones. What time do you usually go to bed on the weekends? I go to bed around 4/430 everyday. Weekends and weekdays don’t make any difference to me. Have you ever considered suicide? Yes. Have you ever been raped before? No. Would you ever consider becoming a marine biologist? No. Did you carry a lunchbox as a child? Yes. What is your favorite ‘sweet’ to eat? Donuts or cupcakes. Are you someone who usually eats when you’re bored? Yeah. Have you ever eaten your way through a breakup? No. Who was the last person you texted? My mom. Do you usually buy popcorn when you eat at the movie theater? Yeah. Did you sleep alone or with someone last night? Alone. I always do. What kind of dressing do you eat on your salad, if any? Ranch. Are you someone who constantly likes to wear hats? No. Have you ever seen a Lifetime movie that relates to your life? Yes. What is your Myspace URL? Oh Myspace. Are you someone who likes to wear dresses more than pants? No. Have you ever dated someone who was way overprotective of you? No. What was the last thing you touched besides your keyboard? My phone. When was the last time you witnessed a fist fight? *shrug* Do you know anyone who lives in the state of California? Me and most of my family.

Are you waiting for a text right now? Nope. Is it your summer vacation right now? I’m not in school, but it’s summertime, yes. Do you like traveling? I do. What color are the walls of the room you’re in right now? White. Do you still make mix cds? No. Are you eating or drinking anything right now? Coke.

Do you go to church regularly? No. :/ Who’s your best friend? My mom. Are you determined? No. I used to be.

Are you always looking for/in a relationship, or do you like being single? Neither. Ever had your heart broken? Yes. Even broken someone else’s heart? Yes. :/ Are you confident? No. When’s the last time you smiled? Today. Are you tan? No.

Any big plans for today/tonight? No. What’s the background on your computer? Alexander Skarsgård with his arms around a Husky and a German Shepherd. It’s very cute. Do you have days where you just want to listen to sad songs? Yes. Don’t you hate when your plans fall through? I used to, but now I kinda hope for it. Ever maxed out a credit card? No. How old are you? Twenty-seven. Who’s the last person you kissed? Joseph. Are you hoping they will also be the next person you kiss? No. Do you ever actually go on dates? Nope.

#personal #text #survey #surveys

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somewhere-in-my-weird-mind · 7 years ago

Text

Who’d You Rather - Niall Horan

Paring: Niall x OC Female Character (I still describe it as an imagine, but sorry I just can’t write Y/N, so here’s Myra McCoy instead)

Idea: Myra McCoy, and actress who appear on Ellen’s show, and in a game of ‘Who’d You Rather’she manages to pick out Niall and pick him over and over again, Niall who have a secret celebrity crush on the same girl is made aware of it through Harry, and things seem to unfold from there

Word Count: 7480

A/N: So I saw Ellen’s thing ‘Who’d You Rather’ and then the idea stuck, so I saw all of the ones there was, and the idea kind of just developed, into a 7+k mess of emotions . And it’s tagged as an imagine, but it is an OC character, because I just can’t write Y/N, so here’s Myra McCoy instead, hope you like her as much as I liked creating her.

‘Niall, have you seen this??’ Niall’s phone buzzed with a message from Harry, and knowing him the next text could either be a new joke he had found that he thought was simply too good not to share, or it was something actually interested. Apparently it was one of the better days, as this time it seemed to be something actually interested.

The link he sent was YouTube link, more specifically a video with the title ‘Myra McCoy plays Who’d you rather’. After reading the title of the link, Niall went to revaluate whether or not this was actually one of the better days.

‘Why are you sending me this again?’ Niall sent back.

There didn’t go long before the next buzz came. ‘Just watch it! Promise you won’t be disappointing’ He had written.

Okay, so maybe Harry’s ulterior motive hadn’t been to make Niall jealous while he was sitting in the studio recording songs he had already written, meaning he shouldn’t be full of a lot of emotions that he could potentially have used when he was writing the songs. Off course, Niall had a hard time that Harry would even have an ulterior motive that would cause him harm, god knows that Harry wasn’t that kind of a person, wasn’t even close to anyone who would be that kind of person. Yet it was a bit weird with Harry sending him videos of his celebrity crush, no scratch that, his crush picking a ton of guys over him, but deciding to trust Harry’s better ulterior motive, he clicked play on the video. Who knows, maybe it wouldn’t be that bad.

“So, Myra McCoy is on the show, and she is single and ready to mingle, isn’t that right?” Ellen said with a big smile as she looked over to Myra.

“Uhm, well yes, partly” Myra spoke slightly shyly.

Niall knew for a fact, perhaps for a bit too much researching that Myra’s dating life was not something she talked much about, but one thing he had definitely cleared out, she was in fact single.

“I heard a clear yes” Ellen simply said with a laugh “And that is why we’re gonna play a game of ‘Who’d You Rather?” Ellen said as the montage played.

“Okay, well this looks like it’s could be interesting” Myra laughed as she looked in the screen with the many hearts showing up.

Niall’s heart felt like it was swelling a bit just by the sound of that laughter.

“So yeah, as you’re an absolute sweetheart, clearly seen in our game of never have I ever, we thought we’d give it a go about finding the perfect man for you.” Ellen explained.

“Wait, so do you then hand out contact information’s in the end, or how is this going to work?” Myra inquired Ellen, now a little bit curious.

“Well, no, but as I am widely famous, the power of this game will magically make that other person tweet you on twitter or reach out to you, and you’ll live happily ever after” Ellen said with a smile. Myra just laughed and nodded as if that sounded fully legit.

“Okay, so it’s simple, we’re just going to show you two options of two different celebrities gentlemen, and then you’re just going to chose, until we finally narrows it’s down. Let’s start with these two gentlemens first shall we.

Henry Cavil & George Clooney’s face appeared on the screen

“I think I’m gonna go with Henry Cavil” Myra said sure in herself, the age difference was a clear factor, but she couldn’t deny the look of him in Man of Steel either.

“Okay, well, then Henry Cavil and Chris Evans”

“First of all, it is not fair putting him shirtless up there” Myra said pointing at Chris Evans “And certainly not fair showing him from the Avengers movies” Myra almost moaned.

“So it’s a clear Chris Evans here I see” Ellen laughed as she looked at Myra’s face.

“Yeah it has to be, Cap just goes right to my heart man” Myra laughed.

“Tell us Myra, is there something you haven’t told us about your thoughts about superheroes?” Ellen asked smugly. “I mean we know you played alongside some of them in Guardians of the Galaxy, was there some unresolved stuff there or?”

Maybe, just maybe, that had been one of the reasons why Niall had always been up for a Marvel movie marathon with Zayn, when that was something they still did regularly. Nonetheless, the movies was good, the fact that Myra had been in them and was awesome, and pretty good looking for an alien, was minor details to his love for the universe so much.

“Haha, no, it’s just Captain America for me, though Man of Steel certainly showed he had lifted some steel as well! Myra laughed as they moved on to the next one.

Zac Efron appeared besides Chris Evans, now both shirtless.

“Now Zach does have a girlfriend, but none of that matters here, because as I said, I rule, my studio and all” Ellen commented making Myra laugh again.

“Well, I still have to go with my heart on this one, and my heart screams that I’m loyal to SHIELD and Captain America”

“Chris Evans we go again then” Ellen comments before the screen changes again, this time not showing a shirtless gentlemen, instead a very clothed one, by the name of Niall Horan.

Niall immediately perked up and turned up the volume so that he could hear a bit better, cause now he was very much aware why Harry had sent the link. Though he feared that maybe he would only make a brief appearance, knowing the option of the men out there, he wouldn’t judge.

“Now here’s someone who we also know is completely single! So that’s gotta be a plus” Ellen comments with a smile, however as Myra is silent on the matter and simply staring at the two, she decides to continue. “However, he doesn’t carry a shield, not does he wear a blue, red and white spangled suit”

Yeah just comparing him to Captain America would already be enough, knowing the inner geek that Myra didn’t hide.

“He could wear a green white and orange spangled suit though” Myra comments as she brings up a finger to bite on.

Niall tensed up by the sight of the finger nearing her mouth, just as he had… well, compared him to his own kind of superhero.

“It sounds like you might be leaning towards the Irish then” Ellen asks grabbing Myra’s eyes.

And Niall was grabbed completely by his little screen now, incredible happy that Greg made him wait around a bit before he had to redo some of his vocals in one of the songs.

“Yeah, sorry cap, but I think I’m gonna go with Niall” She said shyly before moving her legs up under herself.

Niall let out a small sigh, suddenly smiling widely.

“I see you’re getting comfortable now” Ellen laughs pointing out how she lost one of her heels.

“Well comfortableness always overrule fanciness, that’s been my rule through my whole career, except, there are certain exceptions, feeling really sexy in your own body once in a while is worth a loss of some comfortableness, as long as I can still go back to my couch and sweats in the evening.” Myra explains.

And another reason why she endeared him so much.

“Sounds like that could get it’s own what’d you rather program” Ellen comments before moving on to the next picture, showing Drake besides Niall.

“Niall” Myra spoke clearly, no doubt or shyness about it anymore.

The lack of shyness and the security of her voice did something entirely else to him.

“Ah, I’m getting a sense that maybe it’s the Americans you just overrule, well if it’s because you’ve gotten bored of the Americans gentlemen, how about an English one now then” Ellen commented as Ed Sheeran appeared besides Niall.

“Oh, well Ed’s a friend of mine actually, so as much as it’s a bit tougher, then I’m still going with Niall” Myra laughed before the screens shifted to show Nick Jonas shirtless.

Niall, knowing very well that she was a friend of Ed, he had heard about her through him once as well, heard stories about the charm that wasn’t just for TV host, but an actual charm and kindness that caught Ed. And likewise as it had been with Harry, knowing that Ed thought she was worth having as a close friend, that meant more to him than her reaching the top twenty of sexiest females. Though as Louis have made fun of multiple times, that did mean something to him too.

“I mean, as much as I could look at that a bit longer, then I still go with Niall” Myra stated.

“You’re seeming often sure in Niall it seems” Ellen comments “Might this be your final boy?” She jokes as the screen reveals Ryan Gosling.

Don’t joke around with it Ellen Niall kept thinking, because my god that would be something.

“Our La La Land charmer, he’s sure to be able to sing you off your feet” Ellen comments.

“Well if we’re taking singing into account too, then it gotta go to Niall again” Myra laughs as the screen shifts again, this time to show Prince Harry.

Not only had she compared him to a superhero, and well chosen him over multiple good looking and just generally good men, she had complimented his singing too.

“Niall. Again” She adds with a giggle.

“So you’re now turning down royalty status for him too” Ellen laughs as the screen reveals Dev Patel.

“Oh, this one is actually a bit hard” Myra states as she starts biting her finger again. “I always kinda had a thing for Dev, I mean after watching Lion it was hard not to” Myra commented.

“Then go pick Dev, he was just declared 2017’s sexiest man alive” Ellen commented, as if it was obvious.

“I know… But no, I’m sticking with Niall” Myra said meeting Ellen’s, who actually seemed to be genially surprised. Myra looked back to the screen expecting there to show up another one, but instead Niall Horan simply filled the screen alone.

“Well then there you go, seems like your perfect match is Niall Horan, unless off course you wanna go back to one of the superheroes?” Ellen tempted.

“Well isn’t he kinda a superhero, I mean, I’ve heard the stories of how that band saved people through music” Myra added with a sly smile.

How she warmed his heart.

“Already defending him I see, maybe it really is a perfect match” Ellen laughed, Myra just shrugged her shoulders before placing her feet on the floor again.

“I mean, I can’t deny it, he’s a handsome looking fella, I’m quite pleased with this” She said as she beamed with a big smile.

She wasn’t the only one.

“Well thank you again Myra McCoy for joining us, and good luck on the new movie out the first of next month” Ellen spoke to Myra before turning to the camera “And we will be right back”

The screen went still, and for a moment so did Niall. He wasn’t quite sure what to do with himself after that, seeing it certainly made his day feel better. But, well, what was there more to it than that. He could watch that and think to a hypothetical world where Myra McCoy, the brilliant, charming, wonderful women, would choose him over royalty and men who could grow proper stomach hair, and he could smile about it. But that was it wasn’t it.

He pictured himself in the opposite situation, if he had been there and forced to pick between women like that, and well then ended up with a final one, having them contact you, it wouldn’t be, well it wouldn’t be something that people just did. Surely.

Niall closed down the link before returning to the chat with Harry,

‘And here I thought it was a new knock knock joke you were going to send me :D’ It didn’t take long before Harry got back to him.

‘You appreciate them better than Grimmy does, so off course I’m gonna update you on it. But how about it! Did I just possibly set up your new date’

‘Ha, I wish’ Niall wrote back.

‘What do you mean you wish, did you not see the interview!’

‘Yeah, but you know those interviews, how many times haven’t you said your crush would be Frankie Sandford, and it’s not like you would date her!’

‘First of all, she’s married, Myra isn’t, she’s very single, and so are you, and we both know she’s not your celebrity crush, she’s your real crush. AND she didn’t say you were her celebrity crush, she literally picked you over like 7 other guys’ Harry wrote back. Niall read it over once again, knowing very well that he did have a point. Yet still. Well, he still wasn’t sure.

‘Still man, that would be weird wouldn’t it?’

‘Dude, Twitter is amazing for that’

‘I don’t know. Anyway, Greg’s here, gotta go’ Niall wrote, trying to get out of the conversation.

‘Liar’ Harry just wrote back, knowing very well that move.

Not long after, Greg however did come back to request Niall back in the booth, so he could rub that in Harry’s face when he got out again. However the recording went so well that they ended up taking another verse, and then a course too, and while they were at it they could take some of the background vocal too, until they managed to almost finish the song, before they finished for the day.

When he got out again, he reached for his phone out of reflex and scrolled down the notification, only to see Harry had send him another text, with another link it seemed.

‘Told you so http://bit.ly/2rbFeDa’ He clicked the link, only to get directed to one of Harry’s tweet.

‘@McMyra I should say from @NiallOfficial he loved you on Ellen, and he’d love it even more if you went on a date with him’

Niall huffed out a breath, not sure what to do about it, and immediately going into damage control of what he could do, besides giving Harry a kick in the shin, or depending how bad it went, in the nutters, the next time he saw him, but then he scrolled down to the response linked under it.

‘@Harry_Styles @NiallOfficial well tell him to use his #SlowHands to write to me then ;)’

It took him a minute to process the tweet, as it was not only a tweet from Myra McCoy, but also a tweet including a title to one of his songs. One thing was her complimenting his singing, by now there was a couple of people who had heard that because of the One Direction, however, his own songs was a different matter, something he still felt unsure people would even listen to. Off course he knew that the response so far had been great, but that was one thing, knowing, well, knowing that she had heard it was another thing, or at least, this felt like something else. So yeah, what was stopping him.

‘I hate you’ He texted back to Harry, knowing very well that he might have to actual thank him now the next he saw him. I went back into twitter and clicked on the tweet, and the little arrow to respond to the tweet.

‘@McMyra Ignore Harry, he’s a jerk, but he is right though, loved you on Ellen’ He decided to send, it was casual, true because Harry was being a jerk, a right one, but that was besides the point. He sat with his phone a bit, wondering if the response would come or not, though chances was she wasn’t, the previous tweet had been 15 minutes ago, so she’d properly put the phone down now. However he looked down his phone as it vibrated, only to see a nocification, new tweet from @McMyra, he quickly opened it.

‘@NiallOfficial So Ellen was, scarily enough right it seemed, you did reach out to me on Twitter, or Harry did, does it then still count?’

‘@McMyra Totally counts.’

‘@NiallOfficial Perfect. So about that date then?’

Shit. Now he definitely needed to thank Harry.

‘@McMyra Well when are you in #ThisTown and got time’

@NiallOfficial Nice self-promoting there’

‘@McMyra well you can (thank for that btw) but I can’t promote myself a bit?’

‘@NiallOfficial absolutely not, now it just seems self-centred (And you’re welcome, love the song <3)’

‘@McMyra well that’s a bit rude innit (Thank you, I could give you a life performance at one point if you want)’

‘@NiallOfficial it seems you’re the one being rude now (Maybe that could be arranged, you almost owe me after turning down royalty for you)’

Niall was in mid typing to reply to the tweet when he received a new notification, that @McMyra had sent him a dm. He closed down the tweet before opening the DM.

‘If by this town you meet LA, then that won’t happen until a movie premiere in two weeks, but with a live performance in wait it would be’

‘worth it’

‘Sorry, I hate the 140 limit line’

He couldn’t help but laugh over the common problem before typing a response.

‘Usual solution is to loose the commas or to add in slang or btw, nvm, stuff like that’

‘Yeah well I was an English mayor before I turned to acting, so it’s very much against my nature’

‘Being an English major, I can also tell you that it’s called an acronym’ She responded again, he was about to thank her for new knowledge, when he realised the opportunity at hand to do something else. Weighing his option and what really I had to loose for a moment, I decided for it before writing back.

‘Well hey, if it bothers you that much to use acronyms (thanks for that btw(Though apparently I can’t stop) you can always write to me on my number’ I suggested before typing it in.

‘Well if you’re offering’ She simply said. It took a while before I got another notification on my phone, this time from my messages, of an unknown number writing.

‘Hi’ She wrote, quickly followed by

‘And now I feel like I don’t have stuff over 140 signs to say’ I couldn’t help but laugh a bit, but was quickly interrupted by Greg entered the room again asking me if I was ready to listen through it all. I replied I was, and I would be there in a moment.

‘It’s alright, I actually need to go now, my producer just called me in to listen through some of the final touches for my album. But hey, I’ll text you when I’m out, and we can talk about stuff that’ll fill more than 140 signs, perhaps also what to do when you come to LA’ I wrote before getting up to walk back towards the mixing table. However by my phone giving off a final buzz I took it out before entering the room with the rest.

‘I’ll forgive you for leaving me alone on a bad hotel couch if you send me a snippet of the song ;)’

‘As much as I wouldn’t want you mad at me, if I did that, it would be a surprise at the live preview of it would it now :D’ I responded, before entering the room to see a smirking Julian.

“What?” I asked while laughing, “What’s so funny”

“You, clearly forgetting I have a twitter” Oh, right “So, now I’m just wondering what you might be smiling so widely about”

“The fact that I have a really good song here, that’s what” I just commented before playing the result of the final touches.

“Sure” Julian simply said before returning back to the music as well.

It continued like that, almost nearing 2 weeks of it, just the two of them texting back and forth. Often however, just under 140 signs, as they both had busy schedule, with Myra having a movie out that she needed to do interview and premieres for, and Niall doing the final touches for his album while also promoting for it didn’t leave a lot of space for other stuff. Other stuff longer than that if they had time and had something wanting to tell the others, there was always funny stories when you had busy schedules. Nevertheless, they maintained a connection, and though it was rarely mentioned, it seemed that there was still a date in the near future that they could both look forward to.

Another thing that had happened through those 2 weeks, was other people starting to notice it, this was something Myra experienced in a interview with James Cordon on his Late Late show.

“So Myra, beyond being busy with promoting for ‘Sudden Vengeance’”

“Which is out in American cinemas on Friday” Myra added in looking right into the camera causing James to give one of his booming laughs.

“Yeah, and it’s definitely worth a watch. But no, what I meant to say is that besides being busy with the movie, you seem to have made a new friend, not just that, but a friend that’s one of my friends too” James says, seeming rather pleased with the situation. Myra off course knew who he was talking about, before he mentioned the connection with James too, as it hadn’t been the first time Niall had been mentioned in interviews. That was a thing she had to get use to though, I mean she had gotten linked to other celebrities before, but Niall Horan from One Direction seemed to be a whole thing for themselves, as she had never had it mentioned as many times before as she the twitter feud between her and Niall had been mentioned.

“Yeah, yeah I have made a friend” Myra just said with a smile, off course she knew that James wasn’t going to leave it like that, no one who had interviewed her about it had yet.

“So, how did all of this happen again? I heard you were on the Ellen show’s Who’d Your Rather” James started.

“I was yeah, went to do some promo on Ellen, lovely show”

“Well you’re not promoting her show” James laughed.

“True, she don’t need promoting” Myra laughed, but as she noticed James discomfort. “Off course neither does yours!” She laughed as she leaned forward to place a hand on James leg. “But yeah, at the show, she have this little game, called ‘Who’d you rather’ where she features a lot of men that she then tells you to choose between them” Myra explains.

“Based on who you want to date right?” James fills in, Myra smiles while looking down a bit, because off course he had to highlight that feature.

“Yes” She looks up at James again “based on who you’d rather date. And Niall happened to be on the list, and yeah, I chose Niall” Myra said with a smile.

“And now, after that, the two of you have been communicating over Twitter it seems” James commented while showing one of the tweets where some flirting between the two of you had quite obviously been going on. “But, from what I’ve heard you guys have been talking off Twitter as well. And now, I can’t help but ask, did you ever get that private concert he talked about?” James ask with a big smile, and I could see my co-star sitting beside starting to laugh as well.

“I haven’t yet no, still waiting for that one” Myra simply said with a smile on her face, knowing that until they both had time, they might have to wait a bit longer for that one.

“So, you haven’t told me about the date you went on with Myra McCoy yet?” Harry asked as he settled down in the couch beside Niall.

“What date?” Niall just laughed as he turned on the telly for the golf competition.

“The date that you should have had with Myra McCoy by now, thanks to my glorious skills” Harry commented while leaning forward, seeming to obviously care a lot more about this than what channel the golf he came over to watch was on. I turned to look at him, surprised that he actually seemed to care.

“Well, we’re both very busy with our schedules, so off course it couldn’t happen right away”

“Right away? It’s been like 2 weeks, and you’re literally in the same city! She was at the James Cordon show yesterday, and she’s going to be at the movie premiere for her movie tomorrow- I know!” Harry suddenly exclaimed, “You could surprise her at the movie premiere tomorrow! It would be easy to get in for you, and it would totally surprise you” Harry spoke with lights in his eyes.

“Okay, calm down there!” Niall said as he went to turn and look at Harry, except as he turned the channel again, it didn’t land on golf but the rerun of yesterday’s Late Late Show with James Cordon.

“Talking about the sun” Harry said as he pointed at the screen where Myra appeared on the sofa with her co-star Niall had heard some good stuff about as well.

“Yeah, I have made a friend” Myra spoke on the telly, as a picture of Niall appeared on the screen behind them.

Harry looked over to me again as they started talking about how her and Niall had started talking and so, until James asked whether or not she had gotten that private concert yet.

“I haven’t yet no, still waiting for that one” Myra said with a smile before they started talking about the movie.

“Do I need to keep bugging you with this, or are you finally going to do something about a girl who clearly likes you and wants to go out with you” Harry commented.

“Okay, so say, what would I have to do to get into that movie premiere?” Niall asked, knowing very well that he had a good suit somewhere, so the only thing he was missing, was access to the movie premiere.

“I have an idea” Harry said, before he reached down his pants to reach for his phone, “But I think I know someone who might actually be at the premiere tomorrow, so maybe they can get you through” Harry took the call while Niall looked back to the TV to see Myra appear on the telly. It was here he couldn’t help but think of how exciting it would be to actually see her tomorrow, after 2 weeks of chatting, maybe he would finally be able to actually see her.

“Got it” Niall was brought back to reality as Harry got back to him. “A mate of mine Alex is in the supporting cast, he’d said he’d bring the word forward that you would be joining the task, and I made sure that Myra would not know” Harry said with a laugh.

“You ready” Alan asked giving Myra a last glance to see her nodding before he pulled the door aside for Myra to exit the car to walk on the red carpet that matched so wonderfully with her blood red look, and to be met with flashes she had almost forgotten how much hurt her eyes. But it was alright she felt, this wasn’t bright flashes she didn’t expect and hated, no these flashes was like applauding in her ears, applauding she felt she truly deserved after all the hard work she knew she had put into this movie, and how it was work she was proud off. And the better thing than the applaud of the flashes was the roar of voices she heard at her arrival from the people who really mattered, the fans standing by the side line waving and smiling at her. She waved back and walked over and talked with and signed stuff to as many as she could before she was pulled away to the not just flashes, but now microphones as well.

The interview was always interesting, I mean that was no news, but there seemed to be something exceptionally ruthless about some of the interviewers. She didn’t mean the ones only focusing on what she wore and how she wore it on her particular form and not the movie and the hard work she had done, no the particular ruthless ones were the one trying to undermine her character she had worked so hard on. One particular interviewer seemed to be interested in how some of the public, meaning the station the interviewer worked for, seemed to think that Myra’s character was an weak female character that seemed to allowed herself to be stepped on, making Myra think that clearly the interviewer hadn’t seen the movie at all!

But Myra pulled through it with a smile and what she hoped was a gentle tone as she explained her character and her depths, and not the irritating tone she had hoped to sneer at the interviewer to shut her up. And one of the better things she had found she loved about the ‘interesting’ interviews on the red carpet, was that they were always so lovely short.

It was when she had moved on from her fifth interviewer, and had to pose facing her better left to the paparazzi’s for about the 15’th time, that things seemed to change.

The first time she heard someone yell the name that had grown relatively familiar to her over the last couple of days, she thought it was one of the many ways a paparazzi wanted to get a reaction out of her, but it was a trick she had only grown too familiar with, with her many encounters with the paparazzi’s. However, soon, multiple people starting shouting the name so eagerly in the other end of the red carpet, that it almost couldn’t mean anything else but…

Myra couldn’t help but turn and look as her curiosity had been raised with the eager shouting, and true enough, if it wasn’t that blond, now almost brunette haired guy she had starred at rather longingly on Ellen, and perhaps a couple of other times as well, that had just gotten out of a car, and was dressed rather handsomely. Quickly however, Myra realised the surroundings she was in. And how here a glance that lasted more than a couple of seconds could be caught and over analysed easily with this many flashes, that suddenly didn’t resemble an applause anymore, as much as an extensive clicking of insects wanting to suck up any kind of information’s they could focus their lenses on. So she turned her head back to face them her left side, and what she hoped was the same smirk she had worn beforehand, and not the genuine smile she had caught herself having just a glimpse of a moment ago.

However, by the sound of how Niall’s name wasn’t just mentioned in his end, but was now thrown at Myra as well, the damage was properly done. And if she moved through the flashes and interviews just a bit quicker knowing what might await her when she was inside, well then she dearly hoped her manager wouldn’t figure it out.

And finally it seemed that she did reach an end, and she entered the theatre where her co-stars and the other she had worked with during the film, as well as their nearest one was gathered in the large hall had gathered up. Here she was greeted with genuine smiles and hugs that made her feel a lot prouder about the movie than what she had encountered outside. However certain co-stars that she greeted seemed to be especially pleased to see her, in an almost suspicious way, and knowing what kind of bunch Alex and Jennifer were, she was most likely right that something was going on. To her impatient curiosity, it seemed lucky that she was about to find out just why that had been, as suddenly both Jennifer and Alex noticed something behind Myra, that lead to them leaving her in her own company, except not really it seemed.

She felt a hand on her shoulder and was ready to greet another one of the co-stars, however the face she met wasn’t one of her co-stars, though perhaps his face made her lighten up more than any of the others in the room would have.

“Hi” Niall says almost out of breath with a wide smile as their eyes meet.

“Hey” Myra caught herself saying almost as breathless back. For a moment they don’t seem to be able to say anything, over or under 140 characters, apparently smiling at each other suffices both of them, that is until the silence is broken, not by them though. Both Myra and Niall turns over to the doors of cinema as they are opened and people are starting to be ushered into their seats.

Myra turns around to see Niall feeling incredibly left out and unsure what to do as all the actors and the directors starts walking excitedly towards the doors. In a glimpse of a moment, Myra grasps out for Nialls hand as she pulls him with the crowd.

“Didn’t expect to see you here” Myra says as they’re so close and surrounded by chatty people that the silence between them felt too weird.

“Well, it was a bit of a spur of a moment thing as well” Niall said with a smile as he met her eyes. “But, I was told by an idiot friend of mine, that maybe I should get my arse out of the gutter, and actually do something, now that a certain someone was actually in the same city as me for once” He explained again as they entered the big IMAX theatre. Just as Myra was about to answer, the person following people to their designated seats broke Myra out of their conversation by pointing her to her seat.

“Oh, uhm, actually I think I’m going to find another seat with him” Myra said after a short hesitation before standing aside so that Niall was in view.

“Mr. Horan” The man in front of them asked, Niall simply nodded.

“Well, Ms. McCoy you and Mr Horan are already seated besides each other” The man explained before pointing them on their way. Myra looked confused for a moment before Niall leaned in to whisper “My idiot friend of mine might also have pulled me a few strings, as he seems to have connection the strangest places”

“Those connections wouldn’t by any chance have been someone by the name of Alex Nelson and Jennifer Moore would it?” Myra asked curiously as they received the free snacks that usually followed with a premiere like this before they walked between their rows to walk to their center seats.

“Well, I heard an Alex being mentioned, didn’t know about a Jennifer before now though” Niall chuckled, quickly joined by Myra who muttered a silent ‘Should have figured’ as well before they sat down in their seats.

“But I never gathered” Niall said with a small hesitation as Myra met his eyes with her auburn ones. “Was it a good surprise?”

He was met by a sly smile as Myra popped one of the popcorns in her mouth before leaning in and whispering “Very good” just as the cinema darkened. As the director of the movie walked out on the floor in front of the screens to cheers and started to introduce the movie, Myra found Niall’s hand in the dark and held it, and if blue eyes sought out hers in the dark, she didn’t pretend to notice.

Myra character appeared sobbing on the screen as she ran past a corner and landed unto the floor of the bedroom of the flat, cornered from the man hastily following after her. She turned around to face and meet the eyes of the man she had through the movie seen to have loved dearly, even through all his mistakes. She quickly put her hand around her bag and pulled up the gun she had stuffed in her back pocket before raising it and aiming it at the man, as his eyes showed a wildness that yet seemed to contain some of the gentleness of the character that had been show in the start of the movie.

“Please… Please don’t make me do this” Myra character sobbed uncontrollable as she raised her other hand to hold the gun more steadily. However, it seemed all the gentleness the eyes had to offer before, had disappeared as he took one more step towards her, before a loud bang was heard, as the screen went pitch black.

Then the end titles started rolling and the whole theatre erupted in cheers. Myra could feel a couple of people reaching out to pat her on her back for good work, but in that moment all that mattered was Niall whispering in her ear “You were amazing!” As he squeezed her hand tight, the same hand he hadn’t released his hold on ever since Myra’s grabbed his hand at the start of the movie, before placing a gentle kiss on her cheek. A slight tint of rose appeared on her cheeks, a colour that hadn’t been caused by any of the makeup she had sat through for hours. She looked over and had wanted to kiss him back, but preferably not on his cheek when she was roused up together with her other co-stars to be shown down on the floor together with the director, away from the steady warmth from a hand that had ended up warming more than just her hand.

When she reached the floor she was greeted by cheers and more claps on the back by her fellow co-stars, all of which she congratulated back, until she reached Alex who she grabbed gently around the neck and gave a soft squeeze making him jump a bit as he was oh so very ticklish.

“Why ever do I deserve that” Alex laughed, but before Myra could sneer back he shot in “Since I saw the very obvious hand holding, so I would think a hug or a kiss would have been more in order” he laughed again. “Or perhaps, you should save the kissing for someone else” He chuckled which ended up with him receiving a bit harder squeeze in the same spot as before as they were ordered into a line so that they could all bow. As she got up again her eyes immediately sought out a certain blond fella in the audience, who seemed to be the one applauding the most eagerly.

After having to bow three more times to please the large audience, they’re finally ushered back into the hall where Myra received more claps on her back and general compliments on her acting, from people who unlike the stupid reporter from before actually seemed to understand the depths of her character, which she appreciated dearly.

Once again however she turned around to meet the man she had left in their seats when the group of the actors had been ushered out of the cinema.

“I know I already said it, but you did amazing in there” Niall spoke with a large grin “Absolutely stunned be away”

“I recon you might be biased in your opinion based on your motives” Myra just responded with a sly grin.

“My motives huh?” Niall remarked with a grin of his own. “I thought me coming here showed my motives pretty clearly”

“Yeah, how so” Myra said while moving just a bit closer.

“Well-“

“Get a room you two” A women sniggered as she walked by, catching Myra with a blush as she took a step back and glared after the women who waked past.

“I’m I right in guessing that was a certain Jennifer Moore” Niall commented.

“Yeah, that’s the wicked witch of the moors alright” Myra sneered not noticing the considerable larger distance between them. It looked like Niall however had noticed it, but wasn’t sure how to address it, and it seemed like he never got to as large announcement of an after party at a venue away was starting now, and slowly people started to thin out. Niall knowing well from his own times how important, or at least enjoyable the after party is turned to see Myra who hadn’t moved out of her spot to follow the rest.

“So, how wild are movie premieres after parties then?” Niall asked as he looked around of the thinning crowd, certainly suggesting that it was a popular choice to go to the party.

“Well, I won’t know for tonight sadly” Myra said as she turned to look at the thinning crowd as well.

“Oh, you’re not going? How come?” Niall asked, fearing that for Myra it had been doomed to be a short night anyway, hinting that this might be the last of their night together.

“Well you see, it just so happens that tonight will be one of the few nights I’ll be in LA before we go to the world tour premiere. Therefore also one of the few nights that this artist who had kind of promised me a private concert after this whole twitter thing, would be able to do it.” She said with a small smile as she turned to face Niall, who quickly caught up on where she was going with it, and eased as a smile spread on his face as well.

“Well, this artist is certainly very lucky to be able to spend a night with you” Niall smirked.

“Yeah, he certainly is” Myra responded with a teeth showing smile, as the temptations of the night ahead seemed suddenly a lot more pleasing than getting drunk with her co-stars at a 5 star venue with a free bar, and then that was saying something.

The sunshine sprayed Myra’s bedroom of her LA apartment with sunshine, and woke up Myra the way only an LA sunrise can. However, this morning in particular seemed to be a bit different from some of those other mornings that same sun had woken her up, as this time the warmth that affected her most was that of a body lying pressed up against her. Hazy memories of last night came floating back to her, of new songs played on Myra’s guitar in candlelight’s “Because atmosphere okay”, and talks long into the night, that turned into lazy make out sessions into the night, that didn’t reach much further because both was tired after busy schedules for far too long. As the memories filled her still sleep fogged brain, she turned around to face the body mass who had occupied her bed and had hold her tight, and she started tracing freckles, birthmarks, and laugh lines that scattered the face who’s nose started twitching, hinting that she was soon to not be the only awoke one.

“It tickles” A groggy Irish voice mumbled into the many pillows which was one of the luxuries Myra allowed herself to have.

“Your beard is really what’s tickling me, so I should be the one complaining” Myra sniggered, which received a rough chuckle for the man above her as he stretched his hands so that they held Myra again.

“Don’t blame my beard for your sensitive fingers” Niall just muttered as he buried his face into the soft neck of the women lying so softly next to him in the rising sun.

“Well I’m sorry I haven’t spent the last 5 years playing guitar non-stop, causing my fingers to grow rough and hard, which I should say causes tickling even easier!” Myra just commented as she fell into the embrace but kept stroking her fingers along the skin of the man, moving from his face to his forearms as she made herself comfortable.

“You’re saying that this tickles then?” Niall asked as he moved his fingers to stroke her gently down the sides where her t-shirt had ridden up.

“Nope” the women said through her teeth as she tensed up.

“Liar” muttered Niall as he started tickling her for real, which ended up with the covers flying off as Myra’s legs started kicking around rapidly while laugh broke past her lips.

Niall who was now definitely awake decided earnestly that this was the best morning by far he had had in a long time. Worst of all though was that he just might actually have to send flowers to Harry or something now, as he was sort of the reason why his smile didn’t falter that whole morning.

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