#except for the atrocities and she was right

[leaky-heart]

Aren’t you grateful to be alive Amanda ?

( birthday gift for my bestie, my king @monsieurlerobot )

[thecranewivesrpf]

i love it here. yumm yummy racism

[sweet-as-an-angel]

MW Reaction to You Taking the BDSM Test

Warnings: Implied Smut, MW Characters Being Down Bad & Feral, Mean! MW, Rough! MW, Dominant! MW, Submissive! MW, Teasing, Petnames, Profanity, No Pronouns Used For Reader Except You.

Ghost

His laugh is gruff from over your shoulder. A glower, if you listen closely enough. His hands, rough and calloused with the weight of his atrocities, clamp down on your shoulders. He squeezes them. Tight. Tighter.

“You don’t need a test to find out what you’re into, Love.”

He stands closer. From your position on the couch, you can feel something hard pressing between your shoulder blades. He rolls against you, his grip tightening. You whimper, wince, and he lets go a hum.

His hands drop from your shoulders to the front of your shirt. There, he grips the seam and rips it open. You jump, gasping, the buttons flying off into god-knows where — corners of the room, pinging off furniture.

His hands are on your chest, kneading, needing. He’s rough. He needs you now — he can’t even stop to remember to be gentle.

“I can do that,” he lowers his lips to your ear. His breath is hot.

“And more.”

König

König had sat with you while you took the test, curious to see what you’d choose — what your heart truly desired.

Of course, despite how close the two of you were, you did try to retain what little of your dignity you could by choosing answers that didn’t make you look insane. Or nymphomanic.

Little did you know that König could see right through you, his lips stretching into a smile whenever he saw your fingers itching to choose the highest values for kinks he absolutely knew you had (whether you were aware of his knowing or not).

When the test was over and you got your results, you thought you’d walked it. “See?” You showed your results to König. “Told you I wasn’t into anything—“ you searched for the term he’d used. “Extreme.”

“Oh, Maus,” König said, almost growling. Purring, perhaps. His eyes were narrowed, feline. “We both know that’s not true.”

König took your phone and placed it somewhere out of your reach. Frozen with anticipation, you gave no fight as König took you by your shoulders and laid you down, pressing you into the floor. He brought his thighs over you, caged you beneath him. His hands either side of your head, he smiled.

“You needn’t be evasive with me, Darling.” His hips dipped down. Something hard pressed against your abdomen. König’s eye twitched. ”Now then, let’s see how many of your answers were true, shall we?”

Soap

Johnny looks at you with what you could only construe as confidence. A challenge. You could feel the sly remark creeping up his throat as you tried to explain away the results of your test, trying not to paint yourself as someone whose answers suited them a little too well.

“Oh aye, Bonnie — I believe you,” came Johnny. With all the genuity in the world. “I just don’t think you do.”

When you gave him a queer look, his smile grew.

“What I’m sayin’ is you know there’s more to sex than that test’ll have you believe.”

Johnny shifted closer to you, eye-level with you. His hand came up to your chin, taking it between his fingers. He held you there.

“And I’d be more than happy to show ya what you’re missing out on.”

Valeria

“Looks like mi Cariño’s had a little too much screen time.”

She’s on you before you can even escape to your lock screen, a viper-strike hand plucking your phone from your grip and throwing it over Valeria’s shoulder. It cracks, somewhere, but her frame is all you can see as she pushes you to the floor.

“Seems like you’ve forgotten your place,” she grunts as she forces you to the ground, watching you fall flat on your backside. The carpet is enough to cushion your fall, but there isn’t a material in the known universe that can withstand the fire in Valeria’s eyes.

“Seems to me that you need to be reminded what you like.” Valeria bites her lip, coming to stand over you. Her shadow roves over you, almost as if to grope you, feel you.

She brings her boot onto your chest. Keeps you down.

“And where you like it.”

Price

“So you think I’m vanilla, Hm?” Price’s voice carried a weight you were not unfamiliar with, but the way in which he spoke suggested something unknown. His ankle sat atop his knee, arms crossed over his chest.

You’d gotten him to take the BDSM Test — “For science!” you’d told him. And, to nobody’s surprise, John’s results had come back relatively tame. Yours, however, were a different story.

John leaned back in his chair, his cigar lying in the ashtray, embers fading.

“Why don’t you come over here,” John said, voice low. He spread his legs, patted the expanse of his covered thigh. His eyes glinted with all the light of a black mirror.

“And teach this old dog some new tricks.”

Horangi

Hong-jin had seen your results by accident and had decided that teasing you about it would provide him with enough of a distraction to stop himself from salivating at the possibilities they opened.

Sure, it started off tame. The odd comment here and there about you seeming to be ‘tied up’ with whatever task you were doing, that you were doing such a good job of completing your work, etc.

Anything to get you hot under the collar.

And, luckily for Hong-jin, it worked. You came to him, frustrated and very much in need of relief.

Hong-Jin hummed, putting you on his lap. He ground his thigh between your legs, calling you his “Good little pet — behaving so well for me.”

His eyes almost seem to glimmer as he tells you how much he should reward you for being able to hold out for so long. Something to the tune of an oddly specific interest you knew you’d never told him. But that’s alright; your scores told him everything he needed to know.

Alejandro

He was NOT expecting the answers you got on your BDSM test. And you weren’t fully prepared for what you found on his.

Yes, Alejandro leans towards taking the dominant role in bed. Sure, not all the time, but enough that one look at the two of you could definitively conclude which of you wore the pants in bed.

Which, until tonight, neither of you had questioned.

“You know, Corazón,” came Alejandro. He sat beside you, not looking away from the TV. “It couldn’t hurt to…test some of our weaker areas.”

You looked at him, eyebrow raised. Then, it clicked.

“Oh,” you said, leaning closer, smiling. Knowing. Alejandro looked down at you. You could see him biting back a wide grin.

That night was spent with Alejandro bottoming while you went to town making him cry, whimper and beg for more.

Rodolfo

You’d assumed that Rodolfo’s results would be, at most, rather banal. In spite of his military background, he was gentle — loving — when it was just you, him and the late hours of the night.

So, when you saw his results and discovered that, oh you’re kind of depraved, actually (in a loving, non-judgemental way; you just weren’t expecting how much his results told you he was into), you wanted to test Rudy’s limits.

A whole day of teasing, complete with a healthy side of blue-balling, had, eventually, caused Rudy to grab you and drag you into the bedroom, slamming the door shut behind him and locking it. He threw you to the bed, his strength masked by his lamb-like disposition.

“I know what you’re doing,” he said. He stood over you, arms crossed over his chest. “And I know why you’re doing it. You’re trying to make me cave — trying to get me to ruin you.”

You couldn’t have put it better yourself. But he could. He approached you, came down to your level, crawling over the bed. You backed up until you hit the headboard (for the first of many times, you suspected), and Rudy, with a dark glint in his eye, gripped the headboard behind you, trapping you.

“Trust me, Amour,” he said, bringing his face level with yours, his voice low.  “With the way you’re acting, you’ll be lucky if there’s anything left of you to ruin by the time I’m done with you.”

Graves

Bless your cotton socks — you’d forgotten to close the tab on Graves’ phone that had your results splashed across it. Hence, Phillip was having a good old laugh about it now in the confines of his office. Though, the longer he studied your results, the stronger the throbbing between his legs became.

Of course, he sought you out. And of course, he made now secret of your faux pas. And, of course, you tried to explain it away. ‘I took it for fun’, ‘It was for a laugh’, ‘I didn’t t think you’d find it—‘

“Ah, there we go. The truth, coveted as it is,” said Graves, smiling from ear to ear. He stepped over the threshold of your bedroom, backing you up against the edge of the bed. He kicked the door shut behind him. No escape.

“Now,” he drawled, approaching you. “You’re gonna show me exactly what you’re into, where you like it,” He stood chest-to-chest with you now, watching you lose your balance as you fell back onto the bed. He all but pounced on you, taking your wrists and pressing them into the mattress.

His eyes were ablaze with a lustful vengeance as he pressed down on you. Into you.

“Or I’m gonna fuck it outta ya.”

Gaz

“Didn’t know you were into…” Gaz squinted, looking over your results from over your shoulder. He went quiet.

“Oh…” From the corner of your eye, you saw his face turn pink. Then red. He cleared his throat and took a step back.

“Y-yes, well— uh— that’s a very…colourful scorecard you have there!”

Smiling, a hint of mirth in your eyes, you turned to him. You could see he was nursing a rather pressing, growing problem, and you sought to relieve him of it.

“How about you come and help me make it a bit more colourful, hm?”

At that, Gaz’s eyes widened. His tongue tied as he tried to form words — a word — anything !

Your smile grew. So did Gaz. “Oh, come on, Gaz! Big military man like you scared of a little fun?”

Let’s just say, Gaz also found himself taking the test shortly after you’d ruined him.

Reblog for more content like this! It helps creators like myself tremendously and it is greatly appreciated :-)

Masterlist Masterlist [Continued] Masterpost Modern Warfare AI Masterlist

AO3 Wattpad

[hiveswap]

Summary of The Cat of The Year poll atrocities of 2023/2024

I'm sure that most people on this side of tumblr have seen the Jellie vs. Nefarious Anglerfish poll going around with like 60k votes at this point, and I'd really like clear up some of what happened since I was around for the whole thing.

Url blocked out for op's privacy. They have already left but don't look for it if you haven't seen it/don't harrass them if you already have.

1. The previous round (preparation)

I discovered the poll in its previous round, needless to say she beat Jort's ass severely. This was around the 3rd of january, meaning that this round finished before jellie's passing with only about 7k votes. Op did add their own piece of propaganda from their main:

...which was FINE. (except for stuff we'll see later) Of course running a poll while biased isn't ideal but I for one didn't even know they were the op until much later. I also added my own piece in a separate thread, and they didn't interact with it at all. There was no drama.

2. The Finale

Jellie unfortunately passed away right before the starting of this poll, which was the catalyst for what happened next. Op did exactly as last time and added a slightly more mean spirited encouragement to vote for the other contestant. This is the point where I believe that i fucked up personally.

I added this thinkpiece accusing op of associating all mcyters with Dream (who we all hate for the record) despite them not alluding to him at all. This is because tumblr has a history of disimissing all mcyters as... everything that dream was been accused of. Op did allude to not caring for mcyt. but they didn't say what i accused them of. This is important to point out because this reblog of mine is still being spread. Jellie was in the lead at the time, but not by the time i woke up next morning.

I won't be including anyone else's additions because I don't want to put blame on any specific person. Just felt like clearing up mine.

3. The Fuckening

Some time later op made this post to their personal blog:

which is insanely shitty because, as other people have pointed out, the "lame ass youtube cat" didn't die to inconvinience op or ruin their fun, and people would have probably voted for her anyway because jelly is universally beloved in the mcyt community. This isn't anti democratic. This post was added to the poll with a caption saying op should not be running this poll, and it took off. Op later went on to say that this was a joke:

This apology was not taken well by people, (including me) because "you were not meant to see it" isn't an apology and they still very much made fun of someone's pet dying. Safe to say this did not make the drama stop and only added fuel to the flame. I believe this was the point where the conversation of mcyt fans being unjustly sent hate to was reignited.

We should discuss that! it's a real thing that happens often and is equal to childish bullying. However, in this case, OP was the only one getting sent hate to my knowledge. The notes were mostly saturated by mcyt fans, and even now i can only find one or two hateful stance towards us under the whole 20k notes post.

4. Conclusions

Op posted a second apology to the catoftheyear blog to try and calm people down (i believe this is comprehensive and a lot better than the previous one) The blog was deactivated shortly after, so i only have my phone screenshots of it that i also added to the poll itself at some point:

(Edit) Here's proof that op did not write the justification they got criticised for, from the notes of the original poll:

This apology didn't get seen, or get accepted by enough people, so op made this statement on their personal:

Needless to say I am deeply dissapointed (and guilty) that it's come to this. Yes, op said tasteless things that made us all angry, but telling a human being to commit suicide is worse than being insensitive about a stranger's pet dying. Even after I posted about the blog being decatived i had someone come into my notes to wish that "they never find happiness" i mean wtf. This isn't like shipping where we can do whatever without the content creator's input. this is fucking harrowing and i can't imagine how i'd feel if this was done in my/my pet's name especially after losing them as recently as a week ago.

I hope no one from hermitcraft who is on here (let alone scar holy shit) learns about this like they did with previous lighthearted tournaments. If you truly respect the creators you claim to be a fan of as people, you do not tell people to kill themselves over them. And finally, let Jellie fucking rest, guys. she had a long, good life. I hope op can come back and also avoids behaving like this if they ever wish to do so. I'm angrier at mcytblr, though.

[boopjuice]

First off, would it really be Mia if she wasn't constantly drowning in the trauma of what happened to her?

Second, after the chapter I infodumped on you last time, she stops being a good person. I was trying to illustrate that some in how she's blaming people for things she's done on her own, and that definitely continues, along with a lovely case of always being the victim. By the time she gets to Iroh, she's pushed everyone away. She spends months enacting revenge and when it comes time to finally kill Nightmare, she realizes exactly how awful she's become, and then has to live with that.

She never forgets the awful things she did, that she tried to justify by claiming it was the only way to balance the scales. She is stuck knowing how many people she hurt, how many times she messed up, how many are dead or worse at her hands because she was blinded by her own pain and refused to understand that her lashing out was just hurting more people.

touch-starvation needs to be written with emphasis on the starving part. you are hungry to be touched. so hungry that even the very taste of it makes you nauseous. it has been long since anything has ever touched you, ever fed you - that your body has grown more used to that gnawing emptiness more than anything else. it's better for you to be held, to eat but it makes you sick to try. you know

[fatuismooches]

More Dottore and Fragile Reader voice lines, except it's your turn this time. A part two to this. Previous voice lines are here.

About Prime Dottore:

"Zandik. My one and only… words cannot express my tenderness and love toward him. I refuse to forget any moment I've spent with him. Not once has he given up on me, despite the times I’ve given up on myself. And he has always taken care of me, not once faltering in over four hundred years. I- I don’t know what to do sometimes when faced with that information. I wish I could be… less of a burden on him…”

About Omega:

"Omega, huh... he is the only segment where I always spend time with completely alone. See, he's not prone to sharing, just like Prime. I don't mind much, honestly, it's nice to get away from all of the noise and be with him. He always coaxes me to be more selfish too... is it a good or bad thing he's influencing me?"

About Alpha:

"Yes, the grumpy cutie I met all those years ago, the start of it all. He says that my presence is a hindrance and it only disrupts his work, but we both know that's false. Often, I like to sit by him as he writes his notes, pointing out all the errors caused by the atrocity of his handwriting... Sometimes, I feel bad using him as a reminder of the past."

About Beta:

"It always baffles me that Beta was once how Dottore acted. I mean, have you seen the difference between 'Mega and Beta? Anyway... he's always such a fun segment to hang around! Even when his assistants cower behind me in fear! Oh, and whenever he goes 'he-he-ho-ho', it always makes me giggle. Please don't tell him I did that impression of him though."

About Delta:

"Oh, Delta's... pretty mean. A really big meanie, if I do say so myself. He never laughs, never smiles, never entertains my shenanigans, always sees right through me... so rude. Huh? Don't worry about me, I'm allowed to talk about him like this. I still love him, after all."

About Zeta:

"Zeta's always so elusive! It was such a pain to track him down at first, he was always avoiding me. I thought he hated me... but once I got a hold of him, he is always so attentive to me! However, it greatly saddens me that he thinks he "failed" me... and yet he doesn't know how much it hurts me more that I've caused him to be like this."

About Zandy:

"Have you met my son? He's the sweetest little thing, isn't he? I remember how shy he was in the beginning, but he quickly grew to be such a dear. Always so excited and eager for attention. I can't help but wonder if Dottore's life could have been different if more people were kinder to him as a child."

About Pierro:

"I will always be indebted to him and Her Highness for taking me in. He is pretty scary to be around, but I feel sort of bad for him. I can't imagine how much responsibility he has... I once promised him I'd work for the Fatui once I'm better, but he didn't react much. Hmph, I'll show him how much I can boost Dottore's efficiency!"

About Capitano:

"The only thing I really know about him is that he's incredibly strong and well respected, at least from other people. The single time I met him, I also learned he was quite well liked by animals too, but it's hard to get any more information when he's so quiet..."

About Columbina:

"Bina is the best friend I've always wanted. I'm glad she's always there for me whenever things go bad. Although I can never predict what she's going to do or say, which is pretty strange, considering who I'm with, that makes her company all the more fun. Still, the amount of embarrassing situations she's tricked me into with Dottore... makes my head hurt."

About Arlecchino:

"I wish we could be closer, but I don't think it'll ever happen. I can't really blame her though, the relationship between her and Dottore is... not the greatest, for reasons I understand. I wonder what she thinks of me, the person who still stands by his side despite his sins?"

About Pulcinella:

"Oh... the little grandpa? I've always wondered how he's the fifth rank, but there's probably more to it than I know. Regardless, I didn't expect him to be so kind to me. I only see him once in a while, but every time he seems to know how I'm doing. And then, he proceeds to give me the best advice, exactly what I needed to hear at that moment, even when it has to do with Dottore. It's kind of scary..."

About Scaramouche:

"Ah yes... the Balladeer. He always wants to start up something with me whenever we cross paths, which is why my patience runs very thin around him. I hope the next time he goes into the Abyss, he gets stuck there."

About Wanderer:

"Who?"

About Sandrone:

"Her research sounds so cool! I've seen some of the things she can create, and it's completely fascinating. I too once had a love for machines back when I was a student. It's just a shame she never comes out of her lab... there are never any chances for me to talk with her. Well, I can always talk with Alpha and Beta about their research at least."

About La Signora:

"I've barely ever seen or spoken to her, but she has my respect. I heard what happened to her husband. If I ever lost Dottore, I'm not sure if I'd be able to go on... or at least be as half as strong as she is."

About Pantalone:

"Oh, Lone's one of my good friends! He always has such unique ideas for me to get back at Dottore, and listening to him talk about his theories quite reminds me of listening to Dottore. He's helped me a lot, dealing with this man. Still... as he does with everyone, I'm kept at arm's length. It doesn't bother me, but I wish I could help him in some way. But I know that'll never be possible."

About Childe:

"Despite being a Harbinger, he's a lot nicer than you'd think. Well, especially compared to the others in the Fatui. He's great at conversation, his family is the sweetest... and he always promises to spar with me once I'm no longer sick. Truly great company. Too bad Dottore's attitude toward him is... less than favorable."

About Furina:

"At first I hated her just like all the other Gods, but after learning the truth, I can't help but greatly respect her. To take on such a burden without having a single shoulder to lean on and succeed in the end... I think I've been through a lot of pain, but at least I've had Dottore and the others to ease it even just a bit. But she had no one, and I admire her will."

About Nahida:

"I try not to waste my time on things that upset me. It's not good for my health."

Sprint Start:

"No, no, I am not running at all. Look, if I get hurt and Dottore finds out it was your fault, you'll be the ones strapped to the table, not me. Hey... I wouldn't mind being in that position, actually."

Chat - Worry:

"I hope that one day he can make peace with himself."

Chat - Old Times:

"Sometimes I wish I was just a simple student again, having no worries other than my grades and pulling all-nighters with Dottore. Actually, that doesn't really sound relaxing, does it?"

Chat - Idling:

"If you're just going to stand here doing nothing, then I'm going to take a seat over there."

When it Snows:

"Would you be willing to distract Dottie so I can chuck a snowball at him? No? How boring."

When the Sun is Out:

"It's a perfect day to have a picnic and listen to him rant again."

In the Desert:

"... Omega, Beta, Delta, I don't care which one of you does it, get over here and make your hands completely ice cold before I faint."

Something to Share - Talent:

"If you ever need help writing something, you can ask me. I wrote some pretty good essays back in the day, you know. Dottore once said I should even write a book! I thought he was bullying me, but he was actually serious, for some reason. Maybe I should get Zandy to draw some pictures?"

Something to Share - Secret:

"Dottore actually has quite a sweet tooth. Well, this probably isn't much of a secret anymore because I accidentally spilled it to the agents, but it would do you good to keep this in mind."

Interesting Things - Foxttore:

"This little guy here? He'll do you no harm unless I say so, so don't worry. He was one of Dottie's failed experiments roaming the lab until he gifted the creature to me! These pufflings too, surprisingly they help me a lot more than you'd think. They're pretty strong, carrying all my things."

Favorite Pastimes - Meals:

"It's time to eat already? No need to worry about me, I'll just wait for a segment. See, it's best for both of us if I have company while I eat. My hands... aren't the most reliable."

Troubles:

"I am very happy that they have a good place to conduct all the research they want, but I wish they paid some more attention to me sometimes. Voicing this complaint over and over again, however, is too exhausting."

Amusement:

"Dottore's fan club never ceases to amuse me. I know every Harbinger has one but... it's completely hilarious. To go so far as creating a handbook about the two of us... well, I appreciate the dedication and the laughs, especially when I update Dottore on their activities. He may not care, but I support them!"

[miraclemaya]

art piece within a museum labeled "a story about your life". you go inside, and it's a tablet and a chair. you sit down and look at the tablet. it reads, "you are human. you enjoy art, especially strange and challenging art." it goes on similarly listing vague generalities. just as you being to understand your takeaway from the piece, that we are all broadly similar, or at least more similar then we are different, it states your exact time of birth. perhaps this was the twist, you think, they took your date of birth from when you bought a ticket and used cameras to pick out which date of birth to display. except it keeps going. it recreates bits of your childhood you don't even remember in perfect detail. it is critical of your actions in highschool, and how poorly you treated your first partner.

it keeps on going. it insults you for stealing food from your coworkers, and tells you that your mother wanted to tell you that she was sorry before she died. it writes a detailed, step by step explanation of how you got into this booth this right now, and it's all true.

it keeps on going, telling you of catastrophe. you will die in a year from a stray bullet and after you die the world will go to hell. the worst atrocities now are only the precursor to what is to come. there will be no humans left alive in 50 years from now.

you leave the museum in a rush and get home, sobbing. you spend the last year of your life drinking and destroying your relationships. you scream about the end of the world and no one is listening. you barely manage to hold on to your shitty day job, if only so you can buy more drink.

the appointed day of your death comes and you hear a knock on the door. you have accepted what is coming. you open the door. there is a package. you quickly open it up. it is a poster, a thomas kinkade painting. it has the quote "you never know when you will die, so remember to always live life to the fullest." it is attributed to gandhi.

[eemamminy-art]

I was talking about this in a server but I wanted to put the thoughts here too

I think Zenos being the way he is stems so much from Emet-selch's beliefs that sundered people are lesser. Like it's the generational trauma that made Zenos that way in the sense of Solus' cruelty to Varis led to Varis' cruelty toward Zenos, but I also think that the loss of the ancient world and the contempt Emet-selch holds for humanity is also something he instilled in both Zenos and Varis. The notion that humanity is just inherently corrupt and evil, and that people will always resort to violence and harm toward one another because he's seen so many conflicts and nations that rose and fell over the millennia.

So in his kin, that sentiment is passed on. In Varis' case, he is aware of his grandfather being an ascian and is very much like, "I will be the exception to the rule, I will be the example of mankind standing above the ancients." Except, of course, Varis uses this mentality to justify some of the most horrific atrocities a person could commit, such as mass genocide through black rose, or killing his own family members in the civil war that followed Solus' death. Varis has this notion that he's an example of a "good" human, despite doing all of the terrible things that Emet-selch ascribes to humanity as a whole.

In Zenos' case, he was groomed to be a living weapon and has come out the other side of it with this bleak outlook. If humans are inherently cruel and evil and corrupt, why does anything matter? It made his baseline assume the worst in everyone, including himself, so his apathy is all-encompassing. There is no right or wrong, everyone kills everyone and it's all fucked up, so why bother trying to be "right"? What even are "right" and "wrong" anyway? It allows him to be someone who does horrific things, while searching for some kind of purpose or meaning. I wish we had gotten to see more of Fandaniel and Zenos interacting, because I think they are so similar in the sense of wanting for meaning and purpose but being so disillusioned with the world and with the cruelty of others that they themselves became cruel.

I think long before the "would you be happier had I a good reason?" speech and Alisaie's rebuttal to it, Zenos had this curious little seed embedded in him by his encounters with the warrior of light. It's not unlike how Lyse spends much of 4.0 both hating Fordola, and also being fiercely curious as to why she is the way she is and seeking to understand her. With Lyse though, she is guided by her strong sense of empathy and the notion that all of her people deserve their homeland returned to them regardless of their actions, while Zenos lacks empathy completely and up until now didn't really think about anyone, not even himself. But that curiosity is there, deep down, and I think it is a major driving force in keeping him going forward.

You could argue that Zenos' motivations are selfish: he does say himself that he is chasing the high of battle with a worthy opponent, and I think on some level that is true. But there is something deeper to it, something that really makes him question all he's known: "In that transcendent moment, what was it that I sought in you? And what was it that you sought in me?" He's seeking purpose, he's seeking the reason for what motivates people like the warrior of light to do good, and what "good" even is. It's so contrary to everything he's known, but it grabs hold of him until it becomes an obsession.

I think it's further elaborated on with some of Zero's story arc where she's learning about empathy, although her reasons for being that way are somewhat different from Zenos, I think they are similar on some level in that they can't really understand empathy or inherent goodness. She does eventually learn it, of course, and I'd like to think if given the chance to survive beyond the battle with the Endsinger, that Zenos could have gone on a similar journey too. That's what I envision anyway.

[sephirthoughts]

Vincent’s lingering obsession with Lucrecia is excellent drama, but their story is not a doomed romance.

This is an unpopular opinion, but I don’t think Lucrecia deserves nearly as much pity and excusing of her actions as she gets. This is not character-hate post, it's an analysis of a character I think gets short shrift as a Mother-Mary in a bell jar, and deserves better.

Lucrecia is morally grey. Charcoal grey. I love complex, morally grey characters, particularly when they're women, since usually women are relegated to roles that infantilize and objectify them, particularly in video games, which have historically been a very backward, androcentric medium. I strongly dislike brainless victims, subject to the whims of the male characters, without much agency, and Lucrecia was not such a character.

Lucrecia was an adult with agency and brains. She was a grown ass adult. She was a brilliant scientist. She made decisions with her eyes open, and even sacrificed her unborn child to her work. She is a very interesting character. The fact that she didn't idolize motherhood as the end-all of female existence, and that her obsession with her work was stronger than her desire to be a 'good mother' makes her far more interesting than otherwise. The fact that she regretted it later and wanted him back doesn’t magically make her a good person, or change the choices she made. It demonstrates guilt and remorse, which are part of character development. The bottom line is that she committed atrocities in the name of science, then felt guilty about it later, once she realized how devastating the consequences were to her personally. To say she didn’t know what she was doing or Hojo manipulated or controlled her is to infantilize and disrespect her character. She’s not some sacrificial angel who was a victim of circumstances; she was a willing participant in her own downfall.

Lucrecia is a tragic character, but she's not a romantic lead. Except in Vincent's head. After all was said and done, she had one of those too-late changes of heart that make tragedy so emotionally impactful. She had a human reaction to Vincent's death and felt terribly guilty for her role in all of it, as she should. That doesn't mean she loved him, it means she wasn't a monster. She lost her son, and gradually, Hojo's callous inhumanity and her inability to escape the net she wove with her own hands closed in on her. Did she deserve to never hold her baby son and never see him even once? No. But she caused it, with her own actions. That's tragedy. She was miserable, bereft, and riddled with guilt, so she made a last-ditch effort to make something right...by doing more insane science shit that turned Vincent into a monster. Seeing that she'd only made everything worse, she tried to kill herself, but was unable to, and thus ran off to become a crystal statue in a cave (this is a trope that I dislike, but that's the story, so that's what we've got).

Vincent is a bad judge of the circumstances. Vincent persists in seeing her as a lost love, and someone from whom he was unjustly separated by circumstances. The fact that he is so blinded by his feelings for her that he places her on this pedestal and can't blame her for what she did is excellent characterization, and I love it, but it's because he’s wrong. He loved her. She didn’t love him (I think she was in love with his father, but that's just icing on the tragedy cake, at this point). His lingering attachment, not to the real Lucrecia, but to the idealized version of her he has in his mind, is a very sad reality that adds so much delicious pain to his character. In the end, he is unable to blame her, because he loved his image of her (and Hojo is a way easier target for anger, because he's literally the worst), which speaks far more to his personal bias in the situation than to her actual role in it. She’s not moustache-twirlingly evil like Hojo but she’s not Vincent's star cross'd soul mate tragically torn away by cruel fate. Lucrecia was her own person.

In summation. Their story is not a doomed romance, it's a complicated, messy, ugly tangle of thorns, and one of the best written tragedies in a game that literally bleeds tragedy from every orifice. It's got one-sided love, obsession, mad science, betrayal, jealousy, fetal experimentation, murder, corpse reanimation, and a guy who can't die, and is left to deal with the consequences of everyone else's actions by himself forever. No one is innocent and no one comes out unscathed…strike that. Vincent is innocent and Hojo comes out unscathed. But still. Lucrecia is not a holy mother, she's not a brainless victim, and she's not Vincent's lost love. She's a person he loved, and who didn't reciprocate. Most importantly, she's a person. A whole-ass, complex, morally grey, fully developed person, who made terrible choices, then made even worse choices, and in the end, couldn't escape the fate she wove for herself.

And then wound up encased in crystal so she could be a pretty statue forever cause the game devs just couldn't help themselves I guess.

[standbehindhousestark]

There are few things I hate more than those type of whiny, reactionary redditor fanboys who blame feminism when they don’t like their latest star war. But like genuinely HOTD has completely thrown out its’ entire plot in favor of milquetoast, contradictory, vaguely feminist rhetoric. Bioessentialism but like in a progressive way lol.

These damn bloodthirsty men are icing out the gentle, capable women who can actually lead… except neither of our female leads have done anything or shown any desire to do anything.

That Alicole scene where she tells him to fuck off after he says he’s protecting her from war since she doesn’t have the guts for it is clearly meant to portray Cole in the wrong, but like he’s genuinely right? This version of Alicent doesn’t even believe in the Greens’ claim, doesn’t want to fight, and inexplicably has not viewed Rhaenyra as an enemy since Driftmark. Why would she want to be Regent during a war effort? And why should the Greens entrust her in that role when she’s done nothing but make doe eyes at Rhaenyra? On the flip side, Jace’s frustration with his mother is also meant to be viewed similarly, but it’s the same story! She disappeared for days right after an assassination attempt at the height (kinda?) of a war, left her council in disarray, all to just kinda ask Alicent to end the war with no real plan of how to do that.

This show can’t decide if Rhaenyra and Alicent are the main players in the Dance, or helpless victims to the war machine of men around them. It tries to paint both as true at the same time, so neither message really lands.

And the actual conflict at the heart of this story? All wasted in the face of that nonsense. The final shot of S1 with Rhaenyra turning around “war in her eyes” was thrown out the window once that Sept scene happened. Green dress moment? Few episodes later and Alicent can’t stop talking about how good a Queen Rhaenyra will be lol. She doesn’t even know what’s going on in the Green Council. Blood and Cheese? I don’t think Jaeherys’ name has been said since then, the ratcatchers and that damn dog have had a larger impact on the narrative.

An actual “feminist” story for lack of a better word, would see these two women fight a war based on their own motives and desires, not because they think dad said it’s their turn on the throne. Or fully commit to the other side; the evil men commit all these atrocities, but in the end history still slanders the women for it all. When you try and do both, neither makes sense.

[fdelopera]

JVP Explained

So, I've been seeing WAY too many gentiles ignorantly uplifting an American "Jewish" group called JVP this past month.

Members of JVP have been very loud this past month, pretending that they speak for Jewish people. They do not.

As a Jew, I'm here to help you understand who this group is, why they act in the blatantly antisemitic ways they do, and why they are dangerous to Jewish people around the world.

And, as an ACTUAL Jewish voice, I am here to tell gentiles to STOP uplifting them.

If you have never heard of "Jewish Voice for Peace" (JVP), or even if you have, I want to give you an analogy that will help you understand this group:

JVP are to Jewish people what Blaire White, Kalvin Garrah, and Caitlyn Jenner are to trans people.

And it's worse, because JVP have gentiles (non-Jews) in their membership. (At least Blaire, Kalvin, and Caitlyn are actually trans.) So for JVP to even call themselves a "Jewish voice" is a lie.

Like Blaire, Kalvin, and Caitlyn, JVP's Jewish membership desperately want to be seen as "the good ones" by bigots, and they are willing to throw vulnerable people in their own community under the bus just for a chance to be accepted by those bigots.

JVP has been called out REPEATEDLY by the Anti-Defamation League for harassing observant Jews at synagogue, harassing queer observant Jews, invoking the antisemitic blood libel canard against Jewish people, and most recently, cheering on and uplifting Hamas after their pogrom on October 7. Among many, many other antisemitic offenses.

There are LEGITIMATE and VALID ways to protest the atrocities and war crimes of the Israeli government.

Let me say that again.

There are LEGITIMATE and VALID ways to protest the atrocities and war crimes of the Israeli government!

But JVP doesn't do that.

Instead, JVP chooses to amplify Neo-Nazi dogwhistles, harass American Jewish people at shul, and uplift Hamas — an antisemitic terrorist organization.

You DO NOT, and I repeat, DO NOT!! get to call yourself a "Jewish voice for peace" and then use BLOOD LIBEL, UPLIFTING ANTISEMITIC TERRORISTS, and HARASSING OBSERVANT JEWS as a way to "criticize" the Israeli government.

You are not a "freedom fighter." You are just a Jew who is a self-loathing, Jew-hating antisemite.

Now, if you're queer like me (nonbinary, genderfluid Jew here, hi!), you're likely aware of how Blaire, Kalvin, and Caitlyn have harassed countless other trans people, especially nonbinary people, for not being trans in the "right way." They do this because they are desperate for approval from right-wingers. Why? Because they, and trans people like them, have a deep sense of self-loathing, shame, and guilt about being trans. They think that if they harass other trans people, right-wingers will accept them. All they want is for right-wingers to tell them, "It's okay, we know you're not like those cringy trans people over there. You're some of the good ones."

Right-wingers then benefit from this "relationship" because they can deny that they are transphobic bigots. Right-wingers can say things like, "I don't hate all trans people. I watched a couple of Blaire White's YouTube videos, and she's alright." So by seeking out right-wing approval, people like Blaire are making it more difficult for other trans people to fight back against anti-trans bigotry. But Blaire doesn't care, so long as Republicans will pat her on the head and tell her she's "one of the good ones."

JVP are very similar to this, except that they are seeking approval from extreme left-wing groups. Jews in JVP may be on the opposite end of the political spectrum, but they are behaving in the exact same way as Blaire, Kalvin, and Caitlyn. They are members of a marginalized group who are seeking approval from bigots, and they're throwing their community under the bus in the process.

JVP's Jewish membership desperately want to be seen as "Good Jews."

(JVP's gentile membership, of course, are just leftist antisemites and are there to harass Jewish people they deem to be "Bad Jews.")

Why? Why do Jews in JVP want to be seen as "the good ones"?

Because Jews in JVP have a deep feeling of self-loathing, shame, and guilt about being Jewish, and they think if leftist groups tell them, "It's okay, you're some of the good ones," that this will somehow assuage their guilt for being Jewish.

This self-loathing, shame, and guilt goes far beyond the current Israel/Palestine conflict. That's just how it is manifesting right now. There have always been Jews who have wanted to assimilate into gentile spaces and be told that they're "the good ones." There have always been Jews who are ashamed of being Jewish.

Jews in JVP consider spreading antisemitic Neo-Nazi conspiracy theories, uplifting Hamas, and further marginalizing other Jewish people to be a small price to pay if it means that they are provisionally "accepted" by certain antisemitic gentiles. Even though these antisemitic gentiles will discard the Jews in JVP as soon as it is expedient to do so.

And of course, just like Blaire, Kalvin, and Caitlyn do with right-wingers, the Jews in JVP sanction left-wing antisemites to say: "I don't hate all Jews. I'm not antisemitic. I just hate Israeli Jews 'Bad Jews.' I just want those 7 million Israeli Jews 'Bad Jews' to be exterminated."

Sure, Jan. Sure, you're not antisemitic. You just want 7 million Jews mass murdered. In case you didn't know, you absolute ghoul, that's the very definition of antisemitic.

Oh, and Gentiles, many of you have gone mask-off enough with your Jew-hatred this month for us Jews to know that when you say "Israelis," "Zionists," "Zios," "Zio scum," "Zio rats," and every other permutation of those words, you really mean "those dirty Jews I'm allowed to hate publicly now."

But the Jews in JVP haven't studied their Holocaust history. The Jews in JVP don't care to remember that the Nazis, too, rounded us up into groups of "Bad Jews" and "Good Jews" — or, really, "Bad Jews" and "Useful Jews." Then the Nazis used the "Useful Jews" to attack the "Bad Jews." Finally, they shoved ALL the Jews that they could get their hands on into the gas chambers and tried to kill every last one of us.

And what I know from studying Holocaust history is that as soon as Jews start getting sorted into camps of "Good Jews" and "Bad Jews," you had better say, "Fuck no, I'm not being a Good Jew!"

You had better get into the "BAD JEW" camp as FAST as you can and start SPEAKING OUT, and uplifting the Jewish community, and supporting as many other Jews as you can.

If you try to be a "Good Jew," antisemites will just use you as a useful idiot and a pawn against other Jews. Then within a short period of time, you will find that EVERY Jew is lumped into the "Bad Jew" camp. And EVERY Jew is now in danger. Including you, O "Good Jew" who tried so hard to convince antisemites that you were "one of the good ones."

If JVP studied Holocaust history, they would see that they are being useful idiots for Neo-Nazis, Hamas, and other antisemitic groups that want Jews around the world to be eradicated. (You should read Hamas' excruciatingly antisemitic charter sometime. I have. The group is literally founded on Jew-hatred.)

But the Jews in JVP do not study Jewish history, or Holocaust history.

The Jews in JVP don't want to acknowledge the truth:

In siding with the Neo-Nazis, the Hamas supporters, and the other antisemitic groups that are co-opting the Free Palestine movement and turning it into a movement of Jew-hatred, the Jews in JVP are signing their own death warrant, too.

It's only a matter of time, O "Good Jews," before you are rounded up with us "Bad Jews." Because to antisemites, we're all just "dirty Jews who deserve to die."

[beneathstarryskies]

Word Count: 4k (and some change)

Summary: Reno is forced to go on vacation after getting pretty beat up on a mission. He takes advantage of his time off to visit the Honeybee Inn, where he becomes enamored by one of the waitresses.

Warnings: fem!reader, shinra counts as a warning, mentions of sex work (more implied than explicit i think), alcohol, kissing, over all pretty tame

A/N: This is part one! I know for sure there will be a second part, but I'm not sure if there will be more than two parts yet. I didn't even anticipate it being two parts, but it just kept getting longer!

Reno heard whispers about the Honeybee Inn for as long as he could remember. Especially once he started working for Shinra. Even the most button-down workers couldn’t resist heading down to Sector 6 to check out the shows. 

“It’s the perfect place for a guy to unwind,” he’d heard some middle manager say in the cafeteria one day. 

Pft. As if Turks have time for that kind of fun.

His luck changed when he found himself a little beat up after a mission, and Tseng had ordered him to take a vacation. There were many things for a young, scrappy guy like Reno to get into. He tossed around the option of heading to Costa Del Sol to hang out with the cute girls on the beach, or maybe even going to the Golden Saucer for some flashy fun. Then, he remembered the excited whispers surrounding the Honeybee Inn. He’d heard it can be hard to get into, but he was confident he could throw his status as a Turk around to get in, at least for a show. If it sucked, he figures he’d still have time to actually do something fun on his vacation. 

After a couple of days of mostly sleeping and ordering takeout, he headed down to Wall Market to see what all the fuss was about. He’d been here a few times for some missions, but he’d never been afforded the luxury of leisure time down there. 

There’s a crowd around the door, people trying to buy tickets or even just get a peek inside. Reno wonders if it’s truly that big of a deal or if people are just buying into the hype. He’s seen firsthand how easy it is for the masses to be swallowed up by something wrapped in shiny drapings and presented with the right flair. Hell, Shinra’s success depended on people succumbing to a bit of dazzle…Enough so that they’ll look the other way from the atrocities committed by the company. 

Now isn’t the time to get moral.

He pushes those thoughts aside and shoves through the crowd. He finds himself stopped by a security guard. If the guy up front wearing a bowtie with no shirt and an antenna headband could be called that. Reno was pretty sure he could take him in a fight, but he had to remind himself to calm down. 

“Come on, you wouldn’t say no to Shinra,” he says to the guard with a sly grin as he flashes his badge. The guard's eyes go wide and he swallows hard before moving aside. 

“Right this way sir,” the guard says and points him in the direction of the front desk. Reno is confident as he glides across the pristinely waxed floors to the desk. He leans on the desk and flashes a charming grin to the girl wearing a honeybee uniform. 

“One ticket to the show, please,” he says. 

“I’m sorry sir, we’re all full for the evening and…” 

“Uh, maybe we should talk to Andrea,” the guard butts in, and gives the girl a glance trying to indicate that Reno is someone who should get a ticket. 

“Andrea is getting ready for the show,” the girl persists. 

“I’m sure he’ll want to know who is here.” 

Reno realizes they think he’s here on business. It’s a little annoying that everyone assumes that just because he’s a Turk, but he also sees the benefit to it in this situation. The ticket girl nods slowly as the guard leans over to whisper something in her ear. 

“I’ll be right back, sir,” she says to Reno before going through a curtain. 

Reno looks around the lobby a little bit and peaks through the doors leading into the main bar. He sees the stage, vacant right now except for a couple of Honeybees practicing their steps for the performance tonight. He sees one girl wiping off tables. Her smile is bright and infectious when one of the girls on stage asks her what she thinks of their moves. He doesn’t have time to watch much longer before the ticket girl comes downstairs again. 

“Sir, follow me, please,” she says sweetly. 

Reno follows her upstairs. There are a few rooms closed off with ‘Do Not Disturb’ signs on the door. He imagined the illicit activities going on inside but did his best to seem disinterested. Then, she leads him up another flight of stairs into an opulently decorated dressing room. Some of the girls are gathered around getting ready, adjusting their costumes and applying makeup. A few of them coo at him flirtatiously, but before he can really enjoy the attention the ticket girl is leading him into a room off to the side with the nameplate “Andrea” on the door. 

She opens the door and ushers him inside. A man sits at a vanity, applying eyeliner meticulously. 

“Have a seat, Mr. Sinclair,” the man says. “I’ll be with you after I’ve made myself beautiful…Or should I say, more beautiful?” 

“Lookin’ pretty good to me,” Reno says with a cheeky grin before sitting down on the chaise lounge. 

“Ah, flattery. I didn’t know Turks carried that in their arsenal,” the man chuckles, then turns around in his chair. “I’m Andrea Rhodea, but I’m sure you knew that already.” 

“Yeah, I had a hint or two,” Reno confirms. “I’m Reno Sinclair, but I’m sure you knew that too.” 

“Mhm,” Andrea stands up and pulls on his waistcoat. “So, what does Turk want here?” 

“Nothing crazy. Just enjoying my vacation,” Reno shrugs. 

“I didn’t know Turks got those.” 

“Well, we don’t often. So you can see why I’d want to make the best of it.” 

“And the Honeybee Inn certainly is making the best of it,” Andrea boasts as he walks over to Reno. “You can sit in the VIP section. It has the best view, and is by invite only.” 

“And what do get from inviting me?” 

“Maybe a favor, if I ever need it,” Andrea smirks. Then, he snaps his fingers. A Honeybee runs in, the same one with the pretty smile he saw earlier. 

You smile up at Reno, “I’ll show you to your seat sir.” 

Reno’s smile widens, “Please do.” 

As you grab his arm, he feels his cheeks heat up a bit and he follows you obediently as you lead him out of Andrea’s dressing room. He keeps looking down at you, trying to figure you out. You seem so sweet and innocent, yet you work in a place like this. 

There’s no tragic backstory for how you ended up at the Honeybee Inn. However, sometimes you weave sad tales to interested customers to get better tips. You grew up in the Sector 5 slums, and had a relatively nice childhood despite living in poverty. The big dream was Loveless. 

Oh, how you longed to take the stage in a role within that masterpiece. 

But living costs gil, and one of the best ways to earn it in your opinion was at the Honeybee Inn. Andrea was a pretty kind boss compared to some other jobs you’d worked around the slums to save up for the move topside. If you fluttered your eyelashes and flirted just right, the people that came in here were willing to tip pretty nicely. Some of the girls were ambitious enough to offer further entertainment in one of the private rooms. While you respected their drive and ingenuity, you weren’t brave enough to go that far. 

As you guide Reno to the table at the very front, you put on your best carefree vibe. You have him sit down at the table and he leans back as you sit beside him. You caress his chest playfully. 

“The VIP section comes with your choice of a personal attendant for the evening, Mr. Sinclair,” you say sweetly. 

“Just call me Reno,” he blushes and bites his lip. “And uh…Are you one of the options, pretty girl?” 

“As it turns out I am!” you say cheerfully and lean closer. “Would you like for me to tend to you for the evening?” 

“Yeah, I think I’d like that a lot.” 

——

Despite his effort to play it cool, you can see a little nervousness in him. He’s different from most guys you’ve tended to in the VIP section. He likes the attention, but he’s not pushy about it. He’s not being as much of a pervert as most guys, even though his eyes do stay pretty well focused on your fishnet-clad legs. 

“Then, I’m all yours for the evening, Reno!” you say sweetly and lean against him. “Should I get you a drink?” 

“Yes please,” he purrs and watches as you stand up. His eyes are fixed on the graceful sway of your hips as you walk to the bar to get him a drink. He notices you don’t ask what he wants, but he trusts you to order something good. 

You talk to the bartender and one of the other girls comes up to you. 

“Got a VIP tonight?” she asks as she orders herself a shot to unwind before the show begins. Already people are starting to file in, and Honeybees are buzzing around to keep them entertained. 

“Yeah, he seems nice actually. I think it’ll be an easy night,” you smile. 

“Be careful, I heard he’s a Turk,” she whispers. 

“Oh?” you raise your brow. 

“Yeah, but I mean it just means he can afford to tip well,” she says before downing her shot. 

You watch her saunter away to deal with some of her tables. Before you have a chance to ruminate on what she’s said, your drink is placed on the bar. You try to shift back into work mode as you grab the drink. Reno’s eyes meet yours as he watches you come back, trying to play off the fact that he’d been staring at your ass while you were bent over the bar. You flash him a flirty smile as you slide into the booth beside him and set the drink on the table. You know this costume does wonders for your curves. It’s often been one of your greatest assets at this job, but has also been the cause of many issues too when creeps thought just because you were wearing the uniform that your body was for sale too. 

“So, how are you enjoying your visit?” you ask as you lean against his side. 

“It’s…Enticing, I suppose,” he smirks at you. 

Deep down, Reno finds the whole thing a little bit frivolous. Wall Market in general rubbed him the wrong way. This place was thriving with gil made off the backs of those in the surrounding sectors trying to escape the sadness and mundanity of their lives. Then, of course, he had to remind himself of his place in the world. Shinra was worse by far, and he was another cog in their machine. 

“Don’t worry, it gets better when the show starts,” you say and snuggle against his chest. 

Deep down you both know you’re buttering him up for a good tip, but Reno can’t help thinking how good it feels to have someone’s warmth against him. He almost feels like a shy teen when he drapes his arm around your shoulder. You keep him busy with light conversation, teasing him a little for how important he looks in his suit. 

Finally, the music starts playing. You sit up and clap your hands excitedly as you draw his attention to the stage. As the girl’s start dancing, preparing to introduce Andrea, he watches for just a bit before his eyes are back on you. The way your eyes light up and your body sways to the music he realizes how badly you want to be onstage. Your feet instinctively tap along with the steps of the dances being performed. 

You really come alive when the cue comes for you to jump on the table. As you do, Reno’s eyes are glued to you. He watches your body move to the music, but more than anything he notices how your eyes are lit up with pure happiness. When this portion of the performance ends, you sit back down beside him. You lean against his side and hold his hand as Andrea make his entrance and steals the show. Reno isn’t even intrested in what’s going on. He’s just completely enamored with you. For the first time in so long he wants to get to know someone, and maybe to be known in return. 

The music slowly comes to an end as the dancers perform their final steps and then take a bow. The curtain comes down, then rises a few minutes later to the house band playing atmospheric music. 

“Well, I suppose that’s that,” you say softly and kiss his cheek. 

“Can I walk you home?” he asks hopefully. 

“I’ve got to help clean up,” you explain as other honeybees start dutifully cleaning tables and sweeping the floors. 

“I can wait,” he insists. “I’ve got all the time in the world!” 

“Okay, I’ll be back in a jiff!” you smile before bouncing away from him. When you return, you’ve changed into a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt. The difference to him is astounding. You look like one of those cute college girls he sees sometimes in the city. Innocent and sweet and eyes full of hope. 

You help clean up the rest of the tables before going to the bar to collect your tips for the night. He fishes some gil out of his pocket and doesn’t even bother to count it. He just hands it over to you as soon as you’re close to him. 

“Oh! Reno, this is way too much!” 

“No it isn’t,” he chuckles as he stands up. “It’s not enough.” 

He reaches down to take your hand as he leads you out of the inn. You’re still arguing about the tip he gave you until you head out the door, and then you go quiet mostly out of the necessity of your surroundings. 

“I’m this way,” you lead him toward the shabby apartment building you call home. 

For a while, the two of you stand outside talking. It’s just innocent conversation, trying to get to know one another better. He holds some back due to his job but tries to impress you with some hints that he sees a lot of adventure. Throughout the conversation, you feel him getting closer to you. His eyes dart to your lips, wondering if they taste as sweet and juicy as they look. He stops himself from kissing you because he’s unsure how you’d feel about him doing such a thing. He has a fear that maybe even now you’re just humoring him since he’d been so nice to you tonight. 

“Well, I better get some sleep,” you say sadly. Reno nods weakly. 

“Yeah, I gotta head home too.” 

You both hesitate for a moment before you finally take the plunge. You stand up on your tiptoes and kiss him quickly. It’s nothing more than a little peck on the lips, but it’s enough to make Reno feel tingly all over. His mind spins just enough for him to bravely lean back in for another, deeper kiss. You’re both blushing when he pulls away again. 

“Do you think maybe I could see you again?” he asks, rubbing the back of his neck to appear nonchalant. 

“You know where to find me,” you giggle before kissing his cheek. “Good night, Reno.” 

“G’night,” he says dreamily as he watches you unlock the door and slip into your apartment. He stares at the door for a moment before shaking off the sudden coldness of the night that didn’t seem so present before.

——

“Go on a trip or something,” Rude says over the phone. 

Reno is pacing his apartment, trying to work off his anxious energy. He can hear the humming of a helicopter on the other line, and he knows Rude is on his way somewhere exciting even as they speak. His body tingles with anticipation, but he knows there’s not a target for it. 

“Goin’ on a trip alone is boring,” Reno groans. “Why can’t I just come back to work?” 

“Because Tseng says so,” Rude reminds him. 

“Maybe I could talk to Rufus?” 

“And have Tseng set you on paperwork duty for a month as punishment?”

“Fuck,” Reno growls. “You’re right.” 

“Why don’t you head to Costa Del Sol? You love all the girls in bikinis!”

“Hmph, that’s true…But…” 

He doesn’t know how to express it to Rude. It sounds crazy even in his own mind. The longing that he’d locked away for so long suddenly came rushing back the second you’d pressed your glossy lips to his. He can still taste the cherry flavor of your lip gloss, and the smell tickles his nostrils. The next day he’d had to resist the urge to run right back to your apartment. 

“But?” Rude pulls him from his thoughts. 

“I dunno, I guess I just don’t want to be alone.” 

Rude is taken aback by Reno’s sudden vulnerablity. He knew it was there, but Reno hid it well. To hear him express the feelings was surprising even after all their time working together. 

“Listen, buddy, I—” Rude breaks out. “Oh shit, I gotta go.” 

Reno doesn’t even get to say goodbye the call cuts out. He continues pacing long after he’s tossed his phone to the side, and then he gets an idea. He checks the time and realizes he can probably catch you before your shift starts. He throws his suit on even more sloppily than usual before running out of the apartment. On the way, he makes all of the arrangements over the phone to get the two of you to Costa Del Sol, including borrowing a helicopter so the two of you could avoid all the ferry travel. 

——

He’s running up the stairs to your apartment, taking two at a time, just as you’re coming out the door. You’re still dressed casually, but your makeup and hair is all done up for work. He practically throws himself at you, grabbing your hands as he catches his breath. 

“Come to Costa Del Sol with me!” he practically yells. 

“Uh, is that a question or a demand?” you chuckle softly. 

“A request?” he tries, and seeing your frown he put on his puppy dog eyes. “A plea?” 

“Reno, I can’t just drift away to Costa Del Sol. I don’t have any money, I have to work…I just—” 

“I’ll pay you!” 

“Reno!” you gasp. 

“No, no! Not like that!” he waves his hands in front of his chest. “No, I just meant like…Don’t worry about the money! I’m paying for the trip, I’ll help pay your bills if you need me to because I know this is crazy.” 

“But we just met. I don’t understand.” 

Reno sighs and places his hands on your shoulders, “I know, I know. But I like you a lot, and it’s been so long since I met anyone like you.” 

“So you just want to scoop me away on a vacation?”

“Yes,” he sighs. “I just don’t want to go alone, and I want to get to know you better. I’m scared I won’t get the chance if I wait.” 

“Okay,” you concede. “But I swear if this is some horrible trick!” 

“It’s not! I promise! I’ll even book separate rooms if you want!” 

——

It’s a whirlwind, but you shouldn’t be surprised considering how he’d arrived at your apartment. After packing a suitcase and calling a surprisingly understanding Andrea to tell him the news, you’re whisked away top side. You could’ve spent the whole day just staring at the immaculately designed city. You find yourself fascinated by seeing how the other half lives, but Reno doesn’t give you much time to take it all in. 

“There’s better to come, I promise,” he tells you as he guides you to Shinra HQ. 

You’ve never felt so out of place in your life as you did walking on those pristine waxed floors. Reno keeps his hand protectively on your lower back as you make your way up to the helipad. He wants to sign out one of the helicopters so he can fly you there, but the worker kindly informs him he can’t do that since he’s off-duty. Instead, he’ll have to let a pilot fly the two of you there. He considers making a fuss and calling Tseng or Rufus for clearance, but seeing you holding his hand excitedly he doesn’t want to ruin the day. 

“Alright, alright, we’ll wait,” he concedes. He guides you to the nearby lounge to wait for a pilot to become available. 

“So, you work here?” 

“Oh, yeah.” 

“You must be pretty high up on the totem pole to be able to use a helicopter.” 

“I wouldn’t put it that way, but I do have some perks.” 

The way you’re looking at him with such awe in your eyes makes him worried about what you’d think if he told you the truth. Almost everyone is scared at the mention of his job title because of all the secrets Turks know and their reputation for doing things a little more brutally than the average soldier is allowed. Instead, he distracts you with flirty comments and a kiss on your cheek. At one point President Shinra himself comes to the lounge for a drink, and you’re shaking from the nerves because he must know you don’t belong here. Instead, the President nods curtly before leaving the lounge.

“Wow…I thought he’d be…” 

“Taller?” Reno jokes. 

“I mean I was going to say more handsome,” you giggle. “All of the photos and TV appearances…” 

“They’re doctored,” Reno shrugs. “Don’t tell anyone though.” 

“My lips are sealed,” you giggle. 

Somehow it feels like it takes simultaneously forever and an instant before you arrive at Costa Del Sol. The sun is bright and you’ve never seen such a blue sky before. The harsh metal of the plates was the only sky you’d ever seen before this day. 

“Wow! It’s beautiful!” you gasp as you look around. Many people are hovering about, enjoying their vacations. The waves crash on the shore as the smell of sea salt fills the air. 

“Yeah, it’s pretty nice,” he smiles, enjoying your reaction more than the sight of Costa Del Sol itself. 

“Come on, we can head to the hotel first and then check out whatever you want,” he promises before getting your suitcase from you. The two of you head towards the fanciest hotel.

Once inside, he approaches the desk and true to his earlier word he requests two rooms. 

“Oh, I apologize sir, but we only have one room available at this time,” the desk attendant says as he looks over his computer monitor. Reno looks at you shyly. 

“Want to try somewhere else?” he asks. “Or I can sleep on the sofa?” 

“There is a pull-out sofa bed available in the room, and it’s quite cozy!”

You consider your options for a moment, then you kiss Reno’s cheek softly. 

“I think one room will do just fine.” 

Reno is surprised by your answer but feels a warm rush of excitement in the pit of his stomach. He confirms you’ll take the room available. He tells you to go ahead and check things out while he signs the paperwork. Mostly just so you don’t hear the price of the room. Someone comes to get your bags and begins leading you towards the room. You skip along happily, obviously having the time of your life. 

“First couple vacation?” the desk attendant asks as he helps Reno through the paperwork. 

“Oh…Uh, yeah.” 

“I hope you have a pleasant time. Payment will be due at check-out.” 

“Thanks, man.” 

Reno takes the keys and trails along to where you’d disappeared to moments before. When he enters the room, he finds you scurrying about checking out every last detail of the room. 

“This is amazing,” you gasp as you skip over to the window and look outside at the ocean view. 

“Yeah, it’s pretty great,” he smiles as he sets his bag down on the floor. “So, what should we do first?”

[threepandas]

Bad End: Preserve Us

You know how in conservation biology you sometimes try to introduce a pair to be mated and one will just... just fuckin' merc' the other? Just absolutely obliterate them in a hissing, growling, nightmare ball of fury? Before anyone can stop them? Territorial and (to put it lightly) "uninterested", dispite your desperate desire to save their species from extinction, and need for them to get frisky?

I know.

Holy SHIT do I know.

There's a lot of reasons. Ways you can (hopefully) get around it. But first? Is finding out WHY it happened. Was it just the one? The environment? Were they sick? Or... as is the case sometimes, did they decide their Handler was their mate? Some species only mate once. Are loyal for life. You gotta work around that.

Which is all well and fine and good.

When we're talking about ANIMALS.

Non-sentient, non-sapient animals! Not ALIEN SPECIES! What the ABSOLUTE FRESH HELL did they expect from me!? Compliance?! This was UNETHICAL! Monstrous! I had been trying to slip my gaurds long enough to radio for help SINCE I GOT HERE.

I hope the fuckers ROTTED in whatever their Gods considered a Hell.

"Conservation facility" my ENTIRE ASS. You can't run CONSERVATION EFFORTS like this on SENTIENTS. Eugenics loving, atrocity fetishizing, immoral BASTARDS!!! And they KNEW it too. They HAD too! Or they wouldn't be HIDING it! Fucking KIDNAPPING scientists! Biologists! Doctors!

I was on my ways to study Lekku monkeys!

God...

I'm? I'm so tired of being pissed.

Furious and outraged and SCARED. Horrified and sick. There are PEOPLE here. Kids! And I don't... oh god, I don't... H-How LONG has this been going ON? Why did no one NOTICE?

Every day I feel my heart break. The desire to scream and scream and never STOP, grow inside me. I have to get out. I have to get us ALL out. Get these people FREE. Do SOMETHING. But I am forced to "conserve" the species assigned to me. The group assigned to me.

It's killing my love for the field. Making a mockery of everything I worked for.

I don't... I don't think my hands will ever be clean again.

But I have to help. Do everything I can. Make hell a little kinder, if nothing else. At least while I figure out a way OUT. My group deserves better. The groups I do not work with, deserve better.

I disguise games as "testing". Pages and pages of meaningless numbers ans scores. INSIST that enrichment is the key to success. Diet is EVERYTHING. Oh, and habitat? Well unless we can mimic their habitat there's no WAY they'll "breed".

No, no, using machines would stress them out too much.

It's like you DONT want babies!

Who's the expert here? That's RIGHT! Dr. Cho, but FAILING her and like five other people? Me. And I know for a FACT they are pulling the same scam. We ALL fucking hate you. Dr. Cho has KIDS, you FUCKS. Hasn't seen her son in YEARS thanks to you bastards. He was engaged. She's probably missed his WEDDING thanks to you!

Getting distracted, spiraling again, gotta stop DOING that.

It wont help anyone.

But God, if my brain doesn't slowly feel like it's shorting out the longer I'm here. Stress is called the silent killer for a reason. Or what that something else? Fuck. I can't even look it up! Bastards cut us off from the galactic web. Full information blackout. Because of COURSE they did... can't risk us rightfully calling for help.

Getting the Feds involved to shut this hell pit of a black site DOWN. Or a "whatever it truely is" site. Because it sure as SHIT has nothing to do with conservational biology. Except maybe the abuse of it.

But that doesn't help me right now.

Focus, damn it!

The Yanderens. Old, absurdly rare, nearly extinct, with a home planet they'd reduced to uninhabitable wastelands millennia ago due too... something. No one knew what. There had definitely been fighting. It WAS documented they were excellent fighters. Ruthless ones at that. But it was ALSO documented they strongly pack bonded.

There had been a lot of strongly worded warnings on what few documation my captures were able to find, translate, then shove at me. But honestly? They said the same thing about humans. Ooooh big scary persistent hunters~ oh nooooo! Watch out for the omnivores with a history of war! Sins of the father and we are defined by our diets! Class systems! Let's all JUDGE each ooooootheeeeer~!

Yeah, no. Not buying it.

Especially when the "warnings" were so damn vague and poorly documented. All "the HORRORS!" and "we barely SURVIVED!". Cause honestly? The Yanderens I was watching over? Easily the most mild and temperate individuals I had ever met. No tantrums from the kids, no big emotional meltdowns, just curiosity and at WORST? Mild frustration.

It made everything ten thousand times worse for me, that these poor people were in this hellish place. They were calm. Curious. Meant for greater, BETTER things! They should be out, playing and learning. Exploring and enjoying peaceful strolls in some art gallery or zen garden somewhere! Not... not this sterile fucking LAB.

But then M-17 loses his SHIT.

And now I'm kinda panicking. Because F-6 is not just dead, God rest her soul (she didn't deserve this. Oh god. She was so SWEET.), but M-17 might just be too, soon. If I can't find out what HAPPENED. Because if he's "feral" or "diseased" or whatever other horrifying terminology they end up using? They DO something about it.

And I can't actually stop them.

I... I don't know if it was a trauma response. Or I did something wrong. I could PROBABLY pass it off as my needing more studies into their observed "mating habits"? That... that I somehow... turned it... uuuuh... dominance battle? Shit. Where are my notes?!

F-6 is DEAD and its all my fault.

She was such a cuddle fiend too. Always excited to hear about my studies, from before. My life. Wanted to join me after we got out of here. I never should have let her volunteer. Granted, she wouldn't have taken no for an answer. Wanted to spend the pregnancy plotting our escape. Asked me to help raise the kid once we got out. Had a whole grand plan. But I...And I...

God...

I should have said NO. Insisted. It was just so hard, when F-6 had made it all sound like it would be okay. Like she had a plan and all I need to do was trust her. Believe in her. Then we could be free.

I had hoped M-17 would work best. He was always the most agreeable and quick on the uptake. I figured... well... ha ha. God, I'm such an IDIOT. I should have CHECKED. Who KNOWS what happened before I arrived? What triggered I just accidentally rammed my foot into? FUCK! I sweep everything from me desk onto the ground. Don't give I shit that I'll have to clean it up later,

I had figured M-17 would be COOL with it.

This place is getting to me, isn't it?

Why the FUCK would anyone be COOL with getting jumped? Bred like an animal? Shoved in some random ass room, with a vaguely familiar stranger, and told "now fuck. We want a literal litter from you two"? All while some biologist watchs and makes god damned NOTES!?

Of course he fought back. OF COURSE he didn't stop!

The only one there he could trust was himself.

I...I'm becoming a monster... aren't I?

Oh god.

At least we're in the satellite facility. The gaurds are definitely going to rat me out, but the news will take time to filter back. And... and the Yanderens being so "dangerous" might work in my favor. I... I can spin this. I HAVE to spin this. I can't let TWO people die for my fuck up.

I promised myself I would get as many people out as I could. I refuse to back out now. Even if that means crying, puking, then going out there to lie my ASS off. This was TOTALLY NORMAL. In fact, expected! Yep! It means that's we've determined that M-17 is the alpha Yanderen! A thing that is both REAL and possible to BE!

I rinse my mouth, stomach empty. Crying has exhausted me. But I can't give up. Too many lives count on me now. I... I wish so badly I was just a nobody again. Just some random biology student, trying to make a name for herself. Being "important" is a CURSE.

I try not to chug my water as I half stumble out of the glorified shoebox that is my bathroom into the much larger and Fancier CLOSET that is my room. Truely, no expense spared, for the captives they ripped away from their lives. So glad I am here willingly and of my own volition.

I gather myself. Finally ready to go and try to untangle the mess I have made of everything. When a deep booming alarm rattles my bones. The lights flickering to red. Blast doors slide down, SLAM shut over the transparent recessed bit of wall that counts as my window, the door to the rest of the facility.

Trapping me inside my small room.

Almost immediately after, an EXPLOSION rocks the world hard enough to knock me from my feet. Only the bed's limited padding keeping me from a nasty concussion. The edge of it still ramming painfully into my shoulder. Another explosion. Then another. I sit for a long, terrible, second stunned.

The moment passes.

I scramble on my hands and knees for the in facility communication device that I had knocked from my desk in anger, grief. Not daring to stand lest I be thrown down again. I manage to find it as the world shakes again for the fifth time. Followed by what sounds like gun fire out in the halls.

I fling myself back towards my shitty little bunk. Drag every bit of padding and protection I can, down and under it with me. If the roof goes? I want shock absorption. If shots get through the door? I want something to slow those blasts down. Anything. ANYTHING! To increase my fucked chances of surviving.

I burrito up and wriggle back as deep as I can. The world muffled but ending just outside my crawlspace. Then I desperately try to get one of the others on the line. I got nothing but chaos. Running. Running. Hiding. And Dead.

Dead. Dying.

Remember me.

And GONE.

Some of them fighting with their groups too freedom. Some being targeted right along side their captors. Others savaged by the ACTUAL animals they had been working with, the one's Galacticly deemed too dangerous for effort like this. Someone or something had set EVERYONE free. A simultaneous attack on all fronts that our captors could not put down or escape.

The Yanderens were out there.

Oh god. Please let them be okay. They wer-

My thoughts ground to a halt as M-32 LAUNCHED his tiny body onto the screen of one of the security feeds I was desperately looking through. F-6 had figured out how to get us a backdoor to them a long time ago. M-32 was just a kid. A small, soft, cuddly little thing that loved to lean against me and crawl into my lap. All cherubic cheeks and cute little curls. Shy!

Yet I watched... in mounting horror... as like a lion on some unfortunate animal, he landed on a gaurds back. Small arms going around his body in a mockery of a hug. Head tilting so he could BITE at the back of the man's neck, small hands clawing and ripping at weak points in his armor, as he screamed. Thrashed. Tried desperately to get M-32 OFF of him.

There was so much blood.

My hands were shaking. So much, I accidentally hit the next screen button. Jerked my thumb back. But... but oh god. There was F-26. Using the butt of a rifle to slam down against the head of a scientist. Again and again and again. Long after the begging and thrashing stopped. I flipped again. M-4? No... please not M-4. Not the soft spoken and wise...

I watched as he grinned, a cold thing, and shot out another joint. His foot on the chest of the head scientist who had moved him to a different group. In the background, his supervisor lay dead. They had not died quickly. The head scientist was begging. A mess of tears and pain. M-4 shot another joint, pressing his foot down harder.

I wanted to be sick.

I flipped again. And again. And AGAIN.

H...Had I known them at ALL? Like demons wearing the faces of those I'd known. People I'd trusted. Not a SINGLE ONE was... oh... oh god. F-6. Had she been too? Would I have ever known? Was THIS what all those warnings meant? I couldn't think. Couldn't breath. Had... Had never had a panic attack but... BUT-!

I wheezed.

Shook.

"Oh, Clever giiiirl~" A familiar voice sang, before a blood splattered face flickered into being on the screen in my hands. "Where aaaare yoooou~?"

M-17. He'd somehow managed to take over the security cameras. That or the communication feed. His eyes were bright. A grin on his face like I'd never seen from him. ALIVE in a way I'd never seen him. The excitement transformed his face. No longer softly doll like, but something DANGEROUS. Unhinged. His eyes dilated and deadly teeth on display.

"Come out, come out wherever you aaaare~. I have so much to TELL you! We have so much to DO! I'm going to make you MINE sweetheart! No one else can have you. So come out. I won't hurt you much, I promise! Just gotta make you mine then we can leave okay~?"

Furious snarls echoed through the halls. Male and female alike. Old and young. I... I recognized each of those voices. What was HAPPENING?

"Aaaah? Did you TRASH really think you DESERVED her? Ha! Please." M-17 grin was cruel. Mocking. "You don't have a chance in hell of taking what's MINE."

His eyes seems to shift away from unseen enemies and back, somehow, to me. Warming to something euphoric. Resting his head on his hand as if to consider me. His fingers spread, stroking his own face, as if the desire to TOUCH was simply too great. As if what he was imagining was bleeding over into the real world.

"Oh clever girl~ my clever, clever girl~♡ I can't wait til it's just you and ME. Start think of where you want to go first, okay? We're going to get married. Have that child you wanted me for. All the things you ever dreamed~♡ I'm going to have you all to myself. No more annoying others. Ah~ can't wait to find you soon!"

"But first?"

"May the best of us Win."

[crimeronan]

“Okay, so you were my guard,” Luz says.

"Yeah. Among other things."

“But I don’t, um – I don’t actually need that here. Guarding, I mean. I’m not royalty anymore. And the people here are okay, mostly, except when they suck, and then Vee goes after them anyway. I don't… I’m not sure I can…”

She trails off, less because she’s trying to formulate sentences and more because she can see Hunter’s heart shatter. Even as she does, she checks herself – what does she know about his feelings, really? His face barely crumples. He just closes his eyes for a second, and presses his mouth flat, and swallows. Then he takes a breath and faces her with the exact same calm as before.

She doesn’t know why she’s so certain that’s heartbreak. In anyone else, she’d read it as tiredness or annoyance.

“I’m coming on too strong,” he says, and his voice is just as steady as it always is, no outward signs of distress. “I'm sorry.”

“You don’t need to apologize,” Luz says, and means it. “I can tell you’ve had, just, the worst time. And I know this isn't what you hoped for. I just – I don't know what you want with the human world, besides me. Won’t you miss home?”

“You're forgetting I’m not allowed to go home either way right now,” Hunter says, “on account of the atrocities.”

Luz rolls her eyes. “Don’t be a smartass.”

His mouth twitches. He might be trying not to smile.

“I’m just saying,” she continues, “you found me. You did find me. Like you wanted to. And I’m safe here, like you want me to be. So you don't have to… I mean, you did your duty. You did what you were supposed to do. I hereby release you from any further contractual obligations. Okay?”

It’s meant as a reprieve, but Luz immediately knows that she’s chosen the wrong thing to say. Hunter isn’t quite as good at masking this new heartbreak. His fingers spasm, curling around the edge of the couch cushion, gripping like a lifeline. He lets out the kind of breath that someone might if they’d just been shot. His ears flatten, pointing toward the floor, an unconscious reflex that makes him look like a kicked puppy.

When he speaks, his voice cracks. “You don’t want me?”

Luz feels her own expression crumble. Confusion and guilt war for dominance inside her, a stitch between the ribs.

“Here,” Hunter adds, unconvincingly. “You don’t want me here?”

“I don’t want you guarding me here,” Luz says. “All of this stuff, you being so hung up on Vee and my mom… it’s freaking me out. I don't want them to get hurt.”

“I won’t hurt them,” Hunter says immediately. “I wouldn’t hurt them, not if they’re treating you well – I wouldn’t ever do anything you didn’t want me to do, Luz. I swear.”

“See, that. That's freaking me out.”

His brows draw together.

“You’re sitting here locked in a basement on my behalf,” Luz says, “because you volunteered to be locked in a basement.”

“Okay, well. In my defense. There are some very specific extenuating circumstances right now.”

She waves this aside. “You said you’ve been trying to track me down for months.”

“Of course I have. Anyone with sense would have. Belos was-"

“Yeah, I know. But my mama isn’t Belos.”

Hunter stays quiet and still for a solid minute. Luz actually counts the seconds. His only movement is to press a hand to his eyes, like he’s pushing back a headache, or maybe trying not to cry.

“I’m not trying to be mean,” Luz adds. “I promise you, I'm really, really trying not to hurt your feelings. But you get it, right? It's just… a lot to process.”

“I get it,” he says, with what might be an attempt at a smile. He folds his hands in his lap, surveying her politely and deferentially, like a corporate executive might respond to a CEO. “I'm sorry I've made things harder for you. I didn’t mean to do that.”

“I know,” she says. “It’s okay. I’m really sorry I don't remember.”

“Could be that it's for the best,” Hunter says lightly. “I won't cause your family any trouble, Luz. Promise. It’ll probably be a while until they actually believe that, but in the meantime – you don't need to come down here anymore. I won't pick a fight.”

She has a sudden, overwhelming impulse to fling herself into his arms. Just one more nonsensical reaction, extra proof that something's missing inside her.

“Do you want me to stay away?” she asks.

Once again, Hunter lapses into silence. It's hard to tell whether he’s thinking or just refusing to answer, at least until he counters, “Do you want to remember me?”

“Yes,” Luz says immediately. She doesn't even have to think about it. Without meaning to, she touches her chest, the place that aches every time she reaches out for someone who isn't there. It's been aching since way, way before Hunter stepped onto the Nocedas' porch.

“I want to know,” she explains, “why I miss you so much.”

This, finally, is what makes Hunter break. He buries his face in his hands and lets out a ragged little sob, his shoulders shaking, his breath choked.

Something in Luz wants to wrap her arms around him and snuggle up on the couch and let him cry into her neck. Something in Luz wants to curl up with him under all the blankets in the house and ask him to tell her stories. Something in Luz is suffering physical pain with every elapsed moment in which she doesn’t do that. The desire to hold him edges past want, into need. It hurts.

The rest of her is still loosely gripping a steak knife. And so afraid of sending mixed messages.

“I’ll come back tomorrow, okay?” she says, backing toward the stairs before her instincts can turn traitor. “After I’ve slept. After we’ve both slept. I want – I need you to get some rest tonight. You'll feel better once you do. Okay?”

Hunter grunts in vague acknowledgement. He doesn’t seem interested in discussing his continuing sobs, and Luz is fighting back tears herself, and she doesn't have the strength not to go to him if she cries. So she just climbs the stairs, shutting the door carefully behind her, and she flips the lock closed.

[hoverboards-and-dragons]

Lucifer appears to be the only fallen angel in hell in the hellaverse

(even vaggie as pointed out can still enter heaven), with the other sins being far more clearly demonic and somewhat implied to have been created along side hell

and, I love this change, that not all the big names in hell were originally angels, makes hell really feel like it's own place with its own history and power structure that got haphazardly repurposed into an afterlife as a second thought

(there's a very interesting meta-narrative to follow if you assume the human realm of the hellaverse has the same understanding of Christianity and the Lucifer story as we do and all reinterpretations are in world misconceptions, it makes it look like the story was reframed to make hell existence more defined by heaven, to delegitimize their right to self-determination, that anything in hell is just a result of heaven's defects going to stir trouble, which is a justification that commonly pops up in imperialism, and on top the resistance from oppression being used to justified even greater atrocities, golly the themes-)

right where was I?

i like that Lucifer stands out so much, his silly little guy sits a top the throne works cause he feels like he's operating on an entirely different Power system to everyone else, it doesn't matter how weak of an angel he lets himself be they'll never even begin to touch him (overlords cry themselves to sleep over not being able to beat the whimsy out of this stupid little guy that ranted about differences in scale colourization of snake breeds for 3 hours)

the contrast of the other sins being giant demonic creatures while he's this small angelic humanoid of light in chef's kiss

Everyone talks about the other sins being like aunts and uncles to Charlie but we need to acknowledge the equal importance notion that that means Luci crashed into the sins' realm at mach 5 with the impact cater alone probably forming a whole ass new ocean (his distraught sobbing filled it) and they immediately accepted him as their new not-sibling (they fucked at some point lets be honest, you can't convince me he and Lilith have a monogamous exclusive relationship, she invented feeling restrained by a relationship) in the sins weird eternal dysfunctional found family

Fuck, I Need That Fic with a freshly fallen Lucifer and the other sins So Bad, link me if you know one

The Six: No Angels allowed in hell

:Lucifer

The Six: OK we'll make an exception because he looks very polite-Prideful

there is one(1) acceptable angel

It's so important to me that Luci has his sibling archangels in heaven just so they can watch him have a better family in hell

Given it seems like Lucifer's fall wasn't a result of being intentionally cast out but some inherent consequence you know they miss him so much, that twist of 'how could he do this?' and 'why didn't I stop him?', you know there's this awkward mix of pity, anger and longing whenever they interact that Luci's grown both resentful and numb to

He needs to lose his entire family only to find a new one please Im so attached to this concept, shaking him

Trading in one group of assholes that lovingly give him shit out of jealousy(dad's favourite) for a different group of assholes that lovingly give him shit out of jealousy(highest ranking prince, also A Mess)

Luci: "Hey, Can you finish signing off on those trade-?"

Belph, yawning: "Can you talk to your daughter?"

[trappedinafantasy37]

A Minthara origin would be the most entertaining, fascinating, and most compelling origin

Unfortunately, it doesn't work given how her story already plays out. When it comes to discussions on who can be considered the main character of the game, Minthara is often overlooked as a candidate despite the fact that she just oozes main character energy.

What makes Minthara's story so compelling is that she starts off already enthralled by the Absolute. As her origin, you would have to experience coming to the surface from the Underdark, getting lured into a trap, tortured and forcibly converted by Orin (this is probably where her origin would actually start gameplay wise), committing a litany of atrocities in which you have no ability to do anything otherwise, failing the Absolute and getting tortured again, and then you get freed in which you swear bloody vengeance against the Absolute. Unlike the other origins, you as Minthara would end up actually having to live and experience the torments that are merely talked about in conversation with the other origins (with the exception of Shadowheart as Shar actively tortures her throughout her origin).

The entirety of Act 1 would be completely different from the origins because she wouldn't be on the Nautiloid. Remember, the Nautiloid was Gortash's mission and Minthara has no connection to Gortash, only to Ketheric and Orin. She would literally have no reason or business being on the Nautiloid. In order for her to start there with the others, her entire backstory would have to be changed which would do her story a massive disservice. No, a Minthara origin would only work if her story legitimately starts with her already a part of the Absolute.

But, then we come across the biggest narrative hurdle in her origin: how does she get the Prism? At least with the other origins, you get the Prism pretty much from the get-go via Shadowheart. (Hell, even if you ignore her she will kinda force herself into your party anyway.) Since Shadow has the Prism, how do you explain these two character naturally coming together on their own if they are not on the Nautiloid together? Does Minthara go find Shadow, or does Shadow come to her? And, how exactly does Minthara retrieve the Prism from Shadow? Given Minthara's nature in Act 1, there is a very high likelihood that the retrieval of the Prism in Act 1 may be fatal for the half-elf, meaning you as Minthara will be down one companion.

Another narrative hurdle is determining what Act Minthara should get the Prism. I personally think her story works best if she doesn't get the Prism until Act 2. Her torture scene, as brutal as it is, is a turning point in her character motivation, similar to Shadow finding out about the Nightsong or Bae'zel finding out the truth about Vlaakith. If you pay very close attention, Minthara actually does manage to break out of her enthrallment on her own without the Prism and it was because she was tortured directly by the Absolute.

Considering the fact that she has an actual religious faith in the Absolute, Minthara simply having the Prism wouldn't be enough to break her loyalty. This is why the Emperor doesn't bring her completely into the fold in Act 1, even though he does disconnect her from the Absolute temporarily. Unfortunately, this means that you as the player characters, gets tortured (which serves as fantastic motivation for you to want to destroy the Absolute).

So, if Minthara doesn't get the Prism until Act 2, you end up with the same dilemma of explaining how Shadow and Minthara come together. Not only that, but if she doesn't get the Prism until Act 2, what of the other companions? At this point, a Minthara origin legit has a very high likelihood of being a solo or near solo run, which would also make her origin the most mechanically difficult to play. But, I personally don't think that's much of a problem. Minthara is pretty damn OP in her own right. I literally have a list of bosses that she has solo'd or nearly solo'd for me. So, although mechanically difficult, I still think it'd be very doable to do a solo run in a Minthara origin. However, this would also make her story so much more rewarding, a single paladin fighting against god by herself? Sign me the fuck up!

A plus side to a Minthara origin is that she would end up having the most amount of unique content to all the origins in the entire game cause her story wouldn't really start in the goblin camp, but most likely in Moonrise (it would kinda act as a prologue to Act 1 if anything). This also means that Act 1 would actually be a bit shorter for her than the other origins as the entirety of the Underdark/Grymforge would be inaccessible in her origin. Remember, Minthara is an enemy of Lolth by this point and returning to the Underdark means you as the player character would just die immediately. Which is a real shame cause that is a lot of content to lose. So, it would have to be made up elsewhere, giving Minthara content that the other origins will never have.

Unfortunately, she would be the least played origin because for all of Act 1, you as the player character would be forced to do evil things because Minthara has no free will. Which means you would have no free will and you cannot make any choices for yourself. Most players can barely handle the Alfira scene with Durge, the only moment in the game in which you are forced to do something evil. And, to this day, players still actively whine and cry and bitch about raiding the grove for Minthara. It seriously feels like half the fandom is just mad that raiding the grove is an option that's available. I don't really think many players can handle being forced as Minthara to raid the grove. In a Minthara origin, there will be no knock-out method, no loophole, no exploit. You as the player character would be forced by the Absolute to raid the grove as you do not have the ability to do otherwise.

Having no free will as Minthara through the entirety of Act 1 is what makes her story so much more compelling as an origin. Because it would be frustrating as a player to play a game of choices and not be able to make any choices. As a player it would be frustrating to be forced to do the evil and bad things. As a player, having no free will for the entirety of Act 1 would serve as fantastic motivation to destroy the Absolute, to destroy Ketheric, and to destroy Orin. It would actually make an Oath of Vengeance paladin so much more rewarding to role play as because you would actually feel the intense desire to seek vengeance for yourself.

It is a real shame that Minthara doesn't have her own origin and it's a shame that there are just too many narrative hurdles for it to work. For all the other origins, your story starts with you just wanting to get rid of the tadpole. As you learn more about it, you stumble across the Absolute and learn about the elder brain. From there, your motivation is either to destroy the Absolute, or claim it for yourself for the sole purpose of getting rid of the tadpole.

But a Minthara origin has a completely different motivation as it's intensely personal. You were stolen from your home, your oath to Lolth was stolen from you, you were tortured by Orin and Ketheric let it happen, a worm was forced into your brain, you were forced to commit atrocities, and robbed of your free will. Would that not just piss you right the fuck off and want to make your tormentors pay?! In this case, you as Minthara don't need a personal quest. The main questline IS your personal quest. I don't know about you, but that is some mad main character energy.