#except dudley who was also a child

[sideprince]

🖤: Which character is not as morally good as everyone else seems to think?

💖: What is your biggest unpopular opinion about the series?

Ask game: unpopular opinion edition <3

🖤: Which character is not as morally good as everyone else seems to think?

Disclaimer: the onus here is on "as good as everyone else seems to think." I'm not saying this character is completely immoral or evil, but that I think the fandom overlooks a lot of issues with him.

I think Hagrid is problematic and his behavior often gets overlooked because he's Harry's big, fuzzy, fiercely loyal friend, and because the films really toned down his aggression and carelessness. He's not just a bumbling teddy bear of a giant, he's violent, unfair, and his carelessness is often to the detriment of others who have to help clean up his messes.

Even when acknowledging that PS is very much a children's book with deliberately Dahlesque villains, I can't help but think that if the author was keeping notes and had plans for a 7 book series, then there's something that rubs me the wrong way about authorial decisions re: characters, that cater to that approach even though they won't work in a book about a 17 year old the way they do about an 11 year old. Specifically I'm thinking of Hagrid giving Dudley a pig's tail as punishment. His anger at Vernon and Petunia is justified, but he takes it out on Dudley, who's an 11 year old child. It's vindictive, misdirected, and even Hagrid acknowledges that he lost his temper. And then he asks Harry not to tell anyone about it because he's not supposed to use magic.

So within the first few pages of meeting Hagrid, he's shown as having difficulty controlling angry outbursts, physically harms a child, and asks another to keep quiet about his having done something illegal. In the same book Hagrid obtains a dragon egg illegally, hatches it, and then takes no responsibility for the ensuing problems. The obvious problems he causes, of course, are that he relies on Harry, Ron, and Hermione to keep this secret as well (more asking children to keep quiet about illegal activities), and then to solve the problem of the dragon quickly outgrowing his house. In the process the trio get into trouble, and Hagrid takes no responsibility, doesn't get them out of detention, and when they serve that detention with him he puts them in an even more dangerous situation. On top of that, he lectures Draco about consequences and punishment, even though all the students serving detention that night are there because of Hagrid's own actions and poor choices and because most of them got into trouble while covering for him.

I'm not the first to point this out, but all of this does bother me a lot. Almost as much as the idea that Hagrid loves dragons, yet not enough to not be selfish about it. Because he wants a dragon he doesn't consider what kind of living conditions his pet is going to grow up in. Keeping a dragon in his hut is like keeping a great dane in a studio apartment, except it doesn't get to go for walks because it has to be hidden, not to mention a dragon will inevitably outgrow a little cabin, for which Hagrid makes no plans. On top of that, his carelessness is also the reason Quirrellmort gets to the stone and nearly kills Harry.

Throughout the rest of the series, we find out that Hagrid was expelled because his irresponsibility with dangerous creatures makes him the perfect scapegoat (except this is presented as his love of these creatures, but I think his lack of responsibility for and to them is a serious issue). He sends Ron and Harry into a life threatening situation because he has zero ability to assess risk, he physically assaults Karkaroff because of his short temper, he gets drunk and needs to be sobered up and taken care of by Harry and his friends who are literal children, and the list goes on and on. He shouldn't have started his first lesson with Hippogriffs, not just because they're capricious animals and thus dangerous for the students, but because he's responsible for them and if a student mishandles them and the Hippogriffs react in the way that is their nature, then it's the Hippogriff that will get punished. And as we see, that's exactly what happens. Malfoy's injury is avoidable, but in this world it's also easily healed without scarring or pain. However, Buckbeak is essentially deemed unsafe and the government decrees that he must be put down - when the real problem was that Hagrid started a class by introducing creatures with complex needs, instead of building up to that lesson and preparing his students appropriately. This sums up how I see Hagrid in a nutshell: he only thinks about his love of Hippogriffs, not whether the choices he's making are good for them. Later in the series, Hagrid brings his giant brother back to England and stashes him in the Forbidden Forest, which is bad for his brother, bad for the ecosystem, and unsafe for everyone at the school but again, Hagrid does what Hagrid wants. I don't like the way the narrative excuses and downplays the effects of his choices just because Hagrid does these things out of love, because his actions are still detrimental to the objects of his love.

And this is because Hagrid is, ultimately, selfish. He's very affectionate with Harry and fiercely loyal, traits which endear him to readers. But he's also self-serving, negligent, has no foresight, and can only see things through the lens of his personal interest and enthusiasm, while actively rejecting alternative perspectives and reason. Affection and love aren't enough when they wreak havoc, cause harm, and endanger others. He's frustrating, violent, and dangerous. I've never enjoyed the parts of the books that involve him because they feel like a slog to me. Hagrid is written as a bumbling, well meaning lug who looks scary but is really a softie. But he's actually careless and dangerous, kind of like a 10 foot tall child would be sweet and well meaning but ultimately destructive and dangerous. And because of how irresponsible he is and the effect it has on everyone around him, I don't think Hagrid is as moral as the narrative, or the fandom, perceive him to be. McGonagall is right at the start of PS when she questions if Hagrid can be trusted with an important task, because we see throughout the series that every time this happens, he ends up causing harm, even if unintentionally.

💖: What is your biggest unpopular opinion about the series?

Apparently that Snape is a great character, seeing as most of the fandom seems to hate him lol. What's my biggest unpopular opinion in the Snapedom, though? That people focus too much on Lily's lip twitching during SWM. I think a lot gets projected onto her but really there just isn't a lot of information about her character. Of the little we have to go on, the fact she was best friends with Snape and that they were friends for many years takes up more space and energy in these characters' lives and relationship than that one moment. I also subscribe to the interpretation that what the lip twitch really betrayed was Lily's perspective that after Snape excusing all the things Mulciber and Avery did, he was experiencing it firsthand and suddenly it wasn't "a laugh." Since Lily didn't seem to know the extent of Snape getting bullied by the Marauders for years, and she had defended them after the prank because of her ignorance of what really happened, from her point of view Snape was friends with creepy bullies whose behavior he excused and was now getting a firsthand experience of and learning that it wasn't so funny when it was happening to him. I read a meta once (I can't find it but please link it if you know which one I'm talking about) that proposed the idea that the creepy thing Avery and Mulciber did to Mary Macdonald was also Levicorpus, because it would have indeed been creepy to expose her underwear, and because Lupin says in OoTP that Levicorpus was "in vogue" at the time.

**EDIT so while tumblr's search function is useless, someone liked the post I was referring to literally right as I posted this, because I had reblogged it back in August. So here you go, I highly recommend reading it, it's a fantastic bit of meta.

[midnightstargazer]

Sometimes I forget how many of my mutuals don't like my favorite character. Until I see this on my dash, and then I remember:

Anyway, I'm not going to reblog and argue with people on a correctly tagged post that was clearly not meant for Regulus fans. But I don't think Sirius & Regulus had a relationship similar to Harry & Dudley.

Sirius & Regulus had a scapegoat and golden child dynamic, I've said that before. But I tend to think this came later, as a response to Sirius's rebellion. He was treated badly by their parents and Regulus was seen as "a much better son" because Sirius refused to be what they expected. With Harry, the mistreatment started the moment he arrived on their doorstep, for no other reason than because he was Lily's son and a wizard.

Harry was never treated like family. He slept in the cupboard under the stairs while Dudley had two bedrooms, was made to work hard while Dudley seemingly did no chores at all, and was given only the basic necessities while Dudley was spoiled rotten. So this creates, from day one, a huge divide between them. Dudley was probably encouraged in bullying Harry, and would've been strongly discouraged from trying to befriend him or treating him like an equal.

There's no evidence that Sirius and Regulus were treated so differently as young children. It's noted in Deathly Hallows that their bedrooms were very similar, except the decor and the fact that Sirius's was a bit larger - quite different from Dudley's two bedrooms and Harry's cupboard under the stairs. With Sirius being the oldest boy in his generation from a family that cared a lot about surnames and bloodlines, they probably had high expectations for him and, initially, would've favored him - until he made it clear he wasn't going to go along with their crap.

Before he started school, I think they would have been more accepting of his rebellious nature, assuming he would turn out similar to Walburga and Bellatrix, who are certainly not meek or submissive but remain in line with the family's values. But then, of course, Sirius ended up in Gryffindor - which I also think is when he started developing ideas about pure-bloods not being superior, etc., after spending time away from the family and meeting people like Lily and Remus. So their favoritism towards Regulus probably began with Sirius's Sorting, and really solidified once Regulus started school and went to Slytherin.

Sirius ran away when he was "about sixteen" - I usually go for Christmas of his fifth year, since that would be just after his sixteenth birthday, but it could probably be anywhere from the summer before (almost sixteen) to the summer after (almost seventeen). So it was about 4-5 years between when Sirius lost their parents' favor and when he left home for the last time.

This is the time period when I think they were really pitted against each other the most. And I'm not saying Regulus was totally innocent in this, but I do tend to think there's something to it that doesn't exist in Harry & Dudley's relationship: a feeling of being in a precarious position. As the younger and previously overlooked son, suddenly the parents' favorite, watching his older brother fall from grace, I think he would have been very aware that the same could happen to him. The tables could turn, easily, because their parents' love was not unconditional. So I imagine him trying very hard to prevent that from happening, to live up to their expectations - and that would probably have led to hostility between himself and Sirius, but it's a very different dynamic than Dudley picking on Harry just because he knew he could get away with it.

If we're going to compare with Harry & Dudley, it's also worth mentioning, Dudley's behavior toward Harry included some pretty awful physical abuse. They didn't just argue, Dudley actually beat Harry up, sometimes with a bunch of his friends there to help him. There's no indication that Regulus was doing this to Sirius, or the magical equivalent of hexing him at any opportunity. When Sirius talked about Regulus, he never said he was violent or abusive, only that he was "soft enough to believe" what they were taught by the family. It was more of an ideological divide than anything else - one that culminated in both of them joining opposite sides of the war.

They're just very different situations, very different dynamics. I don't think it's fair to compare them. And I do think the Black brothers' relationship was much more complex than Harry & Dudley's, at least pre-DH.

[twistedtummies2]

Top 15 Animated Disney TV Villains

October’s still going, and I’ve already talked about Disney Villains a few times. I covered my favorite portrayals of one of their greatest members, Cruella De Vil, and I also talked about various Disney Villain Songs - first from the movies, and then from other avenues. It was in the process of exploring said “other avenues” that I realized I should probably give some attention to a more underappreciated group of Disney baddies: the ones from their TV programs. We all love characters like the Evil Queen, Chernabog, and Dr. Facilier, but Disney’s television output has created some pretty iconic villains in its own right, many on par with (and sometimes even better than) their film characters. Whether they be from shows spun-off of pre-existing properties, or totally original pieces, the villains of Disney’s TV cartoons are often just as recognizable as the movie characters, with just as much fan appreciation. Yet, despite this, they don’t get as much merchandising, nor as much attention at the Parks: you’re not likely to see characters like Mozenrath or Xanatos lined up alongside Maleficent or Jafar. Well, I think it’s time to give these dastardly adversaries some time in the spotlight. A BIG, FAT WARNING THOUGH: there are actually quite a lot of Disney shows I haven’t seen (and probably will not see anytime soon), particularly more modern ones from the past ten years or so. As a result, there are some popular villains and shows you WON’T see referenced on this list: if you’re expecting to see entries from Gravity Falls, The Owl House, Star vs. the Forces of Evil, or Wander Over Yonder - all of which I know are pretty popular - you’re going to be disappointed. (The only reason I’m including Bill Cipher as a “banner entry” here is because I’m pretty sure if I didn’t reference him at all, someone would try to assassinate me.) Most of these characters come from series produced in the 80s, the 90s, and the 2000s, with a few entries from the 2010s. This is because those are the shows I know best and/or grew up with. While some of these series I haven’t revisited in their entirety in a long time, I HAVE returned to ALL of them, to some degree or another, at some point when making this countdown.

Two quick rules to note: firstly, I won’t be including villains who originated in films, under any circumstances. So characters like Emperor Zurg, Hades, Yzma, and so on - who were all major antagonists in their movies’ respective spin-off series - will be ignored. They get plenty of attention as is, frankly. Secondly, I’m only going to include one villain per show…minus two exceptions. Why I made those two exceptions will be explained when they pop up. With that said, for those of you who are still sticking around and curious to see what series and what characters WILL make the list…sit down, grab some snacks, and ready your remote controls. These are My Top 15 Disney Animated TV Villains!

15. The Birthday Bandit, from Teamo Supremo.

Some of you may recall I brought this guy up on an earlier list. Of all the shows on this list, I’d argue that Teamo Supremo is one of the most forgotten. It’s not a series that has a significantly large fanbase, as far as I can tell; lots of people I know have never even heard of it. The series was meant to be a tribute to the works of Jay Ward, the creator of such classics as Dudley Do-Right, Rocky & Bullwinkle, and George of the Jungle. The plot focused on the adventures of three kid superheroes - the titular Teamo Supremo - as they faced a variety of campy, colorful super-criminals. My favorite of these supervillains is, and always was, the Birthday Bandit. The Bandit was once a humble children’s entertainer known as B.B. the Clown. However, frustrated with his work, and forever bitter about the fact he never got to properly celebrate his own birthdays as a child, B.B. becomes the evil Birthday Bandit: the lord high ruiner of all holidays and special occasions. (Birthdays, obviously, are his specialty, but he also attacked Valentine’s Day in one episode.) Basically, combine the Grinch with the Joker, and you’ll get this character…which is actually a more apt description than you might think. One of the main reasons the Bandit is and was my favorite villain is his voice actor: none other than the King of All Jokers, Mark Hamill. I guess the guy just has a very specific type.

14. Lord Duke Scrapperton, from Super Robot Monkey Team Hyperforce GO!

I am convinced that this show had to have been at least semi-inspired by the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, solely based on the fact that both of these superhero franchises have titles that are so absolutely bizarre and long that you’d think they were thought up by deranged drug addicts. Regardless, this series was a pretty interesting departure for the Disney Channel. Created for the “Jetix” line of shows at the time, which tried to be more “cool” than the rest, this anime-influenced series was yet another superhero adventure show. (Get used to that, by the way, there’s a few more of those to come.) This time, the story focused on a young boy named Chiro, who joins forces with a team of five robotic monkeys (as you do) to stop the machinations of the evil Skeleton King. (Incidentally, the Skeleton King was voiced by the Birthday Bandit himself, Mark Hamill…who also appears in the Honorable Mentions…I’m sensing a pattern here.) While the King was a great main antagonist, my favorite villain was actually the less prominent - but no less memorable - Lord Duke Scrapperton. Initially voiced by Eric Idle (he would later be replaced by Jeff Bennett), Scrapperton is a steampunk cyborg who has replaced nearly his entire body with clockwork technology, and is continually seeking to upgrade himself further. He is also an avid collector, gathering everything from action figures…to living beings. At first, Scrappterton seems eccentric, but rather friendly; however, as his debut episode goes on, a darker, more twisted side to his nature is revealed. The character would reappear a couple more times throughout the series, still seeking upgrades and new things to gather for his boundless collection. Frankly, it’s hard to go wrong with a posh cyborg villain voiced by a member of Monty Python.

13. The Saurians, from Mighty Ducks: The Animated Series.

I don’t know what madman decided to turn the hockey sports film “The Mighty Ducks” into a superhero/sci-fi series about anthropomorphic mallards, living in a hockey-obsessed universe, and fighting reptilian warlords from space. Whoever it was, somebody give them a raise for abstract creativity. In truth, this series as a whole wasn’t necessarily one of Disney’s best, in my opinion, but I also wouldn’t say it was all that bad. The highlight of the show was undoubtedly its villains, the Saurians. This is the first of the two exceptions I mentioned before, as I’m counting the whole main team of villains from this show. The leader of the Saurians was the devilish Lord Dragaunus: a fire-breathing fiend who plans to - what else? - conquer the universe. His second in command was an evil wizard called Wraith, who I can only describe as a combination of Skeletor and the Horned King. Next is Siege, a beefy bruiser and weapons expert, followed finally by Chameleon, a wisecracking, shapeshifting little hobgoblin. Fairly standard characters for a show like this, so what makes them so particularly special? Answer: their voice actors. In the order listed, these four characters were played by Tim Curry, Tony Jay, Clancy Brown, and Frank Welker. For those who aren’t keeping track, now going in reverse order, that means every time these four were onscreen together, you had Megatron, Lex Luthor, Frollo, and…well…TIM CURRY all bouncing off one another and sharing dialogue. I almost don’t care about the quality of the series after that point; anyone smart enough to put these four guys in a room together, in any shape or form, is doing something right!

12. Lady Waltham, from The Legend of Tarzan.

Sometimes a TV Villain can be not only as good, but honestly BETTER than a film counterpart. Lady Waltham is such a case, which is especially interesting because she’s an outlier on this list in one important way: all the other villains on this countdown are recurring antagonists. How often they appear varies from program to program, of course. (Scrapperton only gets three appearances in his respective show, while the Saurians are in nearly every episode of theirs.) Lady Waltham, however, is a oneshot character: she only appears in a single episode. But, man, what an episode! The story is entitled “Gauntlet of Vengeance.” In the episode, Tarzan and his allies first meet Lady Waltham as a rather strict but seemingly decent Englishwoman on safari. This, however, is a false facade to help her get close to them all, as she enacts an elaborate scheme against them: she puts all of Tarzan’s closest companions into cunning death traps, then uses a poisoned dart on Tarzan himself. The antidote to the poison is located on a mountain peak; if Tarzan is quick enough, he can cure himself before the poison runs its full course…but doing so will lead to the death of all his friends and family. He won’t have time to do both. Why is Waltham doing this? That’s where things get especially interesting: it’s revealed that Waltham is the younger sister of Clayton, the villain of the original movie. She blames Tarzan for her brother’s death, and seemingly knows nothing of Clayton’s villainous ways. It’s all for revenge: Tarzan will either die like her brother, or see all of his loved ones perish. Many people seem to consider this to be the best episode of the show, as well as one of the darkest, and I am in full agreement. There were many other villains in the series, including several recurring foes, but for me, Waltham stood out as the single best of the bunch. Her arc in the story is interesting, and she actually proves to be a more complex and compelling antagonist than her late brother, all with less screentime. She may not have shown up a lot, but she’s still more than deserving of placement in these ranks.

11. Shego, from Kim Possible.

Okay, so, I have a confession to make: I’m not a huge fan of Kim Possible. Not because I think the show is bad - quite the reverse - but because I didn’t actually watch much of it when growing up. I think this was because, as a little boy, I had this dumb and silly idea in my head that “girl protagonist = girly show.” Naturally, this was an idiotic viewpoint to have, and in revisiting the show, it’s easy to see why it had and still has a lot of respect, and why the title character was so popular. While the main villain of the series was the diabolical (and delightfully doofy) Dr. Drakken, even as a kid (again, with little interest in the program) I think the villain who seemed the most interesting to me was this gal: Drakken’s henchgirl, Shego. Shego is one of those classic villains who is essentially an “anti” version of the main character. She looks a little bit like Kim, and like Kim she’s a strong, independent-thinking, sassy young woman with many skills and talents. However, while Kim is a heroine, Shego is a villainess: while she has her own strange code of honor, she genuinely enjoys being bad, and often seems much more competent than Drakken or a lot of the other villains in the show. In revisiting some of the series, I found her much more fascinating than Drakken, providing a great “dark mirror” to Kim while still feeling uniquely like her own character. The only reason - and I do think it’s the ONLY reason - she doesn’t make it into the Top 10 is simply that I’m not the series’ biggest fan. To those who would rank her higher, I can hardly blame you: she’s magnificent.

10. NOS-4-A2, from Buzz Lightyear of Star Command.

Buzz Lightyear vs. Dracula. Not a combination I expected to see, but also not one I’m upset about. In this comedic cartoon series - spun-off of Pixar’s “Toy Story” movies, but set in its own unique continuity (the conceit is this is the show that inspired the toy line in the films) - everyone’s favorite Space Ranger has many foes to face. From bounty hunters to evil overlords, there are plenty of ghastly ghouls haunting the galaxy. None, however, are quite as ghoulish as NOS-4-A2. The result of an experiment by Lightyear’s arch-nemesis, Emperor Zurg, NOS-4-A2 was intended to be a weapon used against Star Command for Zurg’s evil plans. However, the robotic monster ultimately went rogue and became a particularly nasty baddy in his own right, with his own schemes of domination and destruction. NOS-4-A2 is an “energy vampire”: instead of drinking blood, the monster primarily feeds on electrical energy. While he primarily targets fellow robots, he can and will also attack more traditional living beings, such as humans, when necessary. Inspired by Bram Stoker’s famed Transylvanian Count, NOS-4-A2 has many of the same abilities: he can brainwash people and machines into becoming his mind-warped servants, turn fellow robots into vampires, fly with his bat-like wings, and is also able to turn non-machines he bites into “Wirewolves.” The character was played by Craig Ferguson, of all people, and was one of the few villains on the series who actually felt pretty threatening, as well as being very funny. The stories he appeared in always felt a little bit darker and more dangerous, and had a delightfully Gothic, spooky tone to them, which made him all the more memorable.

9. Abis Mal & Mechanicles, from Aladdin.

This is the other exception I mentioned, along with the Saurians, where I’m including multiple villains from the same show in the same ranking. In this case, however, it’s for different reasons. “Aladdin” was one of my favorite Disney TV shows growing up. The series takes place between the events of “Return of Jafar” and “King of Thieves” (which were, themselves, basically the first and final episodes of the show; otherwise Abis Mal wouldn’t count here). It covered the adventures Aladdin, Jasmine, Genie, and the rest had before the princess and the “street rat” were finally married. Throughout the series, the team faced many adversaries: the necromancer Mozenrath, the evil elemental Mirage, the draconic Malcho, and the God of Chaos himself were all just a few of the more noteworthy enemies Aladdin and his friends had to outwit. However, the two most prominent villains in the series - the “Joker and Penguin” of the Aladdin universe, if you will - were these two. Abis Mal is a bungling thief, voiced by the incomparable Jason Alexander. He first appeared in “Return of Jafar” and continued to be a recurring foe throughout the series. Mechanicles, meanwhile, is a mad scientist, with an Ancient Greek aesthetic, who creates robotic bugs to do his bidding. Both of them were VERY funny villains, and it’s honestly hard for me to say which one I liked more. Abis Mal I think is less threatening and unique than Mechanicles (although I’d hardly call Mechanicles the most menacing of Aladdin’s villains, either), but it’s kind of hard to beat Jason Alexander’s comedic vocal chops in the role. This, combined with the fact he DID appear alongside Jafar in the aforementioned feature probably helps him a lot. Ultimately, I decided to just lump them both together here. Good job to both these bad guys!

8. Don Karnage, from TaleSpin.

“TaleSpin” was one of the weirder Disney shows, just by its concept: it took some of the characters from “The Jungle Book” and reimagined them in a more contemporary universe inhabited by anthropomorphic animals. (Sort of a Rudyard Kipling version of Zootopia.) While the nominal main antagonist of “TaleSpin” was Shere Khan, he doesn’t really count for this list. However, I would argue this guy was really much more the main villain than the infamous tiger, and he DEFINITELY counts. Don Karnage was the flamboyant, bizarrely-accented leader of a band of Air Pirates, who were constant thorns in the sides of Baloo and the other protagonists. Karnage is a vain and EXTREMELY melodramatic pirate, whose ego and bad temper have a tendency of mucking up his plans. He’s actually not really stupid, especially not when compared to the other pirates on his crew, but the combo of his bungling henchmen and his emotions getting the better of him always leads to him being foiled in the end. The character was voiced by Jim Cummings, and this is worth noting because Cummings was actually the talent behind a LOT of Disney’s greatest TV baddies: no less than three of the characters on this countdown were all voiced by him, starting with Karnage. Of the three in question, Karnage is by far the silliest, but he’s more than worthy of commendation: heck, he got to duel Captain Hook, I think that’s worth pointing out on its own terms! (Yes, that really happened, look it up.) The character was recently reimagined in the 2017 reboot of “DuckTales.” There he’s voiced by Jaime Camil. That version was fun, but I think that I’ll always prefer the original rendition of the character, for several reasons. Still, you can count this slot for both, if you like.

7. Dr. Doofenshmirtz, from Phineas & Ferb.

One of the (somewhat) more recent shows to make this list, “Phineas & Ferb” was a rather absurd TV series that focused on essentially two different plotlines, each episode, which would inevitably collide in some humorous fashion in every story. One plotline focused on the titular characters: a pair of brothers who were determined to do literally everything, while their nagging sister, Candace, tried to get them in trouble at every opportunity. At the same time, there would be another story going on involving the family’s pet platypus, Perry. (I’m not questioning it, why should you?) It’s revealed that Perry the Platypus is actually a secret agent in the James-Bond-ian style, who is constantly working to keep the Tri-State Area safe from the machinations of our next contender: the diabolical Dr. Doofenshmirtz. This guy…is an absolute riot. He is HILARIOUS, on so many levels. Even in stories where he does really, REALLY horrible things, like succeeding in taking over the world or whatever, he’s somehow just so lovably insane and…well…just plain WEIRD that it’s hard not to enjoy him. His relationship with Perry is a lot of fun; the series treats the idea of being nemeses almost like a romance at points, which makes the irony all the more hilarious when they’re constantly working to destroy one another. (Think Joker and Batsy in The LEGO Batman Movie, and you’ll get some idea of what I mean.) He’s also a genuinely loving father, with his daughter, Vanessa, occasionally acting as his (somewhat begrudging) henchgirl. With his wild assortment of “-inator” devices, and plots that ranged from Jekyll-&-Hyde parodies to…um…trying to ruin pelicans (“Terrible creatures! What are you, a bird or a garbage disposal?!”), you could always count on this deranged inventor to have something wickedly silly up his sleeve.

6. Fat Cat, from Chip & Dale: Rescue Rangers.

I trust that many of you reading this are familiar with “The Great Mouse Detective.” If so, you will naturally recall two of the main villains from that movie: Professor Ratigan - a wily and theatrical criminal mastermind - and his giant pet cat, the spoiled and gluttonous Felicia. Imagine if you took those two characters, put them in a blender, stuck the result in a more contemporary setting, and then had a pair of chipmunks fight the Frankensteinian construct you’ve created. This character is pretty much EXACTLY that. Fat Cat - voiced once more by Jim Cummings - is the leader of a gang of underworld hoodlums, and the arch-nemesis of the titular Rescue Rangers. He lives up to his name both literally and figuratively: not only is his corpulence pronounced, but he is greedy, arrogant, and has a very sophisticated air to him. He’s a pretty straightforward kind of bad guy: reveling in his own devious deeds, and caring nothing for the lives of most other people (or animals), so long as he gets what he wants. And, as you can guess from the image I’ve chosen, he’s rather fond of good old-fashioned death traps, naturally followed by some villainous monologuing. Because it’s just no fun murdering fools unless you have time to gloat and let them stew in their own morbid dread. There’s really not much more to say about this character, he’s just a very fun feline felon. I was honestly REALLY disappointed that he had virtually nothing to do in the “Rescue Rangers” film that came out a couple years ago…but that’s another story for another time.

5. Janja, from The Lion Guard.

This series was a (supposedly canon? It’s kind of hard to tell) spin-off of “The Lion King,” which took place before, after, and even during the events of the sequel film, “Simba’s Pride.” Instead of following Simba’s daughter, Kiara, however, the show focused on the exploits of Simba’s son, Kion: the leader of a group of animals destined to protect the Pride Lands, the titular Lion Guard. Despite airing on Disney Junior, the show had a noticeably darker and more risky tone than many other series that were and are on that block. The Guard faced many adversaries, but arguably the most noteworthy was Janja. This rascally hyena is special partially because he was the main antagonist of the entire first season, and remained a major villain well into the second season…but also partially because he’s one of the few villains on this countdown who goes through a redemption arc. While it isn’t entirely uncommon for villains featured on this countdown to occasionally work with the heroes when their goals align (Shego, Magica, and Doofenshmirtz are notable examples), only three antagonists featured here actually reformed and became good characters. Janja is one of them, which was particularly interesting since, for much of the time before, he was treated as basically Kion’s arch-nemesis. Seeing the character we’d come to know not only as a villain, but as the chiefest rival to our main hero, turn over a new leaf was something rather novel; it would be like if the Joker suddenly turned over a new leaf and became friends with Batman, you just wouldn’t really expect it. However, for all Janja’s faults, he had been shown to have his own set of vulnerabilities, and this allowed him a rather natural shift in a rather short amount of time. Even after becoming a good guy, however, he still had his rough sides, which - while mostly treated for laughs - were still cool to notice. Funny, fiendish, and utterly fascinating, Janja is more than deserving of a spot in my Top 5.

4. Magica DeSpell, from DuckTales. (Both Versions.)

Unlike Don Karnage, where I can definitely say I prefer the original to the revamp, I’m actually not really sure which version of Magica DeSpell I prefer between these two. I did deliberate on whether I should even count Magica, since she technically got her start in Disney comics long before appearing in DuckTales. However, a.) that really counts for a LOT of the villains in the series, so that wouldn’t leave a lot of options left for who COULD make the cut, and b.) I think DuckTales is where MOST people would know Magica from, regardless, so…eh. I think it’s fair. Magica is a wicked witch who acts as one of the main villains in both versions of the series. In the original, she was a somewhat bungling mage who wished to steal Scrooge McDuck’s Number One Dime. Her reasoning is that she believes Scrooge’s famous “lucky charm” could give her greater power and wealth. However, on more than one occasion, her attempts to steal the special little coin would lead to disaster not only for the heroes, but for Magica as well. In the 2017 reboot, Magica was reimagined as a slightly darker villain: an ancient sorceress whose spirit was trapped in Scrooge’s Number One Dime. Via the standard elaborate scheming, she is eventually freed from her prison, plotting revenge and conquest…only to have much of her power stripped from her by arc’s end. She would then return several more times, trying to regain her full power and get back at Scrooge and his family. The original Magica was voiced by the great June Foray; in the reboot, she was played by Catherine Tate. (This was probably due to Tate’s fame as a Companion of David Tennant’s in Doctor Who; Tennant played Scrooge McDuck.) I really enjoy both versions of the character, so I decided to just give this credit to each interpretation together.

3. Negaduck, from Darkwing Duck.

Not all arch-enemies are quite as easy to turn as Janja. Case in point, Negaduck: the arch-nemesis of the titular superhero from the cartoon action-adventure series “Darkwing Duck.” Negaduck is the classic “evil twin” kind of supervillain: a blatant dark mirror to the hero who not only looks a lot like them, but even has a lot of similar personality traits. Darkwing, while ultimately the heroic protagonist, is far from the most saintly of crimefighters: he’s arrogant, selfish, childish, bad-tempered, and occasionally just plain rude. Negaduck is exactly the same way. However, what separates the pair is that, at the end of the day, Darkwing will still make the right choices to do what’s good, and does have a heart underneath it all. Negaduck does not: he is pure evil, plain and simple. He is sadistic, brutal, and downright cruel to a genuinely unsettling degree at times, despite the show’s comedic tone, and he doesn’t care who knows it. He’s obsessed with all kinds of things that deal death and destruction, from guns, to knives, to chainsaws, to explosives, and he rules over the gang of supervillains called The Fearsome Five with an iron fist. Also, unlike Darkwing, who occasionally comes across as a bit of a dimwit, Negaduck is actually VERY intelligent; as cunning as he is diabolical, which makes him even more of a threat. While the show’s campy tone kept him from ever being TOO scary, they got away with a lot in making this malicious mallard a pretty intense threat at times, while also still making him suitably silly when needs be. Just like Don Karnage, the character would make a comeback in the 2017 reboot of “DuckTales”...but we really didn’t get very much of him, so I don’t think there’s a ton for me to say there, especially without giving away some major spoilers. Still, the original is one of Disney’s most classic TV monsters, and more than deserving of placement in the Top 3.

2. Demona, from Gargoyles.

Until sometime within the past few years, Demona was top of the heap for this countdown. There’s a good reason for this. “Gargoyles” was essentially Disney’s answer to shows like FOX’s “X-Men” and Warner Bros. “Batman: The Animated Series.” Seeing how those two shows - superhero programs with a darker edge - were doing in ratings and popularity, Disney decided to create its own show in the same vein, but with its own unique and original approach, rather than basing it on a pre-existing comic series. The result was “Gargoyles,” which combined dark fantasy with superhero action, and told the story of a team of flying creatures sworn to protect humanity from all manner of threats. From mad scientists to immortal warriors to ancient Gods, the Gargoyles fought many foes. However, there were two that stood out among all the rest: one of them was Xanatos, an evil businessman who was sort of the Lex Luthor of the series. And while Xanatos is a really, REALLY freaking awesome villain in his own right…my favorite was, is, and probably always will be this lady, Demona. This rogue Gargoyle woman is kind of what you would get if you crossed both Magneto and Mystique from “X-Men” together: a sort of Gargoyle supremacist who, scarred by past traumas and betrayals, wished to destroy all of mankind, and would stop at nothing to achieve this goal. Demona was a great example of a sympathetic villain: she and the main protagonist, Goliath, had some touching history together, and you knew that her dastardly deeds came from a place of pain. At the same time, however, you couldn’t trust her as far as you could throw her…and even for Goliath, that probably wasn’t very far. Equal parts barbaric and yet extremely crafty, she is and was just as iconic to me as any supervillain from Marvel or DC, and I was always excited to see her show up. Yet she’s still not my number one…so, who is?

1. Varian, from Rapunzel’s Tangled Adventure.

I could literally write an entire post JUST about this character, and maybe someday I will. For now, I will try to keep things relatively succinct. “Rapunzel’s Tangled Adventure” (nee “Tangled: The Series”) was a sequel/spinoff to the film “Tangled.” And, honestly? I think the show is better than the movie, and a big part of it comes from its cast. ESPECIALLY Varian. Part of this is because of his performer, as he is voiced by the remarkable Jeremy Jordan. (That’s Lucifer to you “Hazbin Hotel” fans; Winn from “Supergirl” to you superhero fans; Light Yagami in the musical version of “Death Note” for you anime fans; and a LOT of things for you Broadway fans.) He’s not the only reason to love the character, however. Varian starts off the series as a recurring ally to Rapunzel. However, halfway through Season 1, various circumstances and events lead to this kid becoming the first major villain of the show, ultimately enacting a grand scheme of vengeance in the final couple episodes of the season. This was actually the end of Varian as a villain, proper…but not the end of Varian himself. Much like Janja, the character would later receive a redemption arc at the start of Season 3, and from that point on, Varian became one of the main characters of the series. While he was again a protagonist, his villainous past never really left him alone; there were lots of indications of his dark side, and he had to struggle with both forgiving himself and earning the forgiveness of others. Even if he wasn’t a villain anymore, that villainous side to him remained a major part of who he was. The character was extremely popular with audiences; so popular, in fact, a spin-off series with Varian as the main hero WAS planned, but ultimately canceled. While Varian’s redemption and change to heroism is interesting and admirable, I absolutely ADORED him as a villain, as well, and I kind of wish we saw more of that side of him than we got. I guess some could argue that, since he DID redeem himself, and also didn’t start out as the bad guy, MAYBE he shouldn’t count as highly…but the fact I just love this character so much, in general, eventually won over my decision. I can understand, however, if others would place characters like Negaduck, Magica, or Demona higher. It wasn’t really an easy choice to make, but for these reasons and many more, Varian is My Favorite Disney Animated TV Villain.

HONORABLE MENTIONS INCLUDE…

The Evil Manta, from The Little Mermaid.

ShiverJack, from Jake and the Never Land Pirates.

The Dark Dragon, from American Dragon: Jake Long.

Dr. Jacques von Hamsterviel, from Lilo & Stitch: The Series.

[esther-dot]

or that she can singlehandedly Elizabeth the first it…

Sansa could do it, if she really wanted, but the historical Elizabeth did not have an easy time with her decision. She had dozens of suitors and was even on the cusp of betrothal a couple of times. Her privy council nearly lost their minds in fear of her dying without an heir. They were so desperate that for a moment they were willing to accept Robert Dudley as a husband, which was a terrible choice for a number of reasons.

My point is, Elizabeth remains, 500 years later still the only (adult) British sovereign who never married. Her personal and historical circumstances were unique, and have never been repeated. She was an outlier, the exception, not the rule.

Sansa knows her duty is to produce an heir, and I doubt George wrote all that motherhood foreshadowing for nothing.

(about this ask)

!!! And the Starks don’t have a great record here. Think about the previous generation. Rickard and his heir die, then that happens to the canon generation with Ned and Robb, and they’ve lost the other boys too...I mean, the heir issue is just not something that can be dismissed. Especially when the North has suffered so and Winterfell has been taken...there's such recent reminders of how precarious it all is. It wouldn't be reasonable for the Northern Lords ignore the issue.

I don't know what D&D were thinking with the Elizabeth I stuff other than, they had just killed off the two other queens, one in a way that would infuriate fans, so it's possible they thought that framing Sansa that way would help counter what they had to know was coming for them? Right after the show ended some of us speculated that we got a scrambled eggs version of events and that Sansa was to be QitN much earlier.

I have a few hangups when it comes to resolving the Northern succession crisis because it isn’t clear to me which path answers all the issues.

Considering Jon's repressed desire for Winterfell, I don't think he'd ever be able to take it, not after Robb's death and while trueborn Starks lived. Some have suggested that the show's version of he's KitN and Sansa is LoW is the compromise, but if we're basing KitN on Robb's Will, I don't see how the Lords accept and push for him to be king regardless, if he's refusing to inherit? That’s what the will was for.

This is where Jonnel/Sansa comes in and I've said before, Jonsa could be the contrast where the marriage where, rather than taking from the girl, it’s actually the way to give her home back to her/rectify a wrong. And I don't want to dismiss the precariousness of the situation and that Jon (at Sansa's urging) might go along with inheriting or being KitN in order to unite the North and prepare for war, but the guilt. And also, that works in the specific scenario, what of the overall issue of girls being passed over? Is Martin merely pointing it out or will he offer a sign of progress ie the Northern Lords opting for Sansa to inherit or be queen? I mean, Jon will have lots of rumors floating around him post rez, not sure that he could be a unifying force? And the idea of a bastard rising up to lead them...idk.

That brings me to the bastard issue! How society looks at bastards is obviously horribly unfair to the kids, so is Martin gonna progress the North on this issue by them rallying behind Jon or will it be Sansa having a child who may or may not be legitimate but is her heir? As in, she’s still married to Tyrion, will the North say fuck it and have Jon and Sansa marry under their own religion or if R+L=J isn’t widely known yet or Jon is controversial in the North, they secretly marry and Sansa “legitimizes” her child later and that progresses the issue?

[lizwatchesthings]

do u ever think about harry’s childhood and just get sad?

[givemewallywestorgivemedeath]

With One Minute War it could be a good chance to update the old Top 10 Fastest characters in the DC Universe.

I mean is pretty outdated with characters like Godspeed more or less dead, for the moment Thawne has no any power, Wallace is very low in my opinion. And obviously include all the speedster who have returned since Flash War.

I would really like to see the opinion of Adams about this in the future.

Oh it so could be.

Man, the placement of Ace on that poster makes me so angry every single time I look at it. DC look me in the eyes and tell me that Kid Flash is slower than Wonder Woman, Superman, Cheetah and Shazam. His entire thing is speed. I refuse.

In my opinion (warning: controversial topic ahead) DC's speed ranking (of living characters) should be this:

1) Wally West

2) Barry Allen

3) Bart Allen

4) Savitar

5) Eobard Thawne (when he has powers)

6) Thaddeus Thawne (when he has powers)

7) The Black Racer

8) Jay Garrick

9) Max Mercury

10) Avery Ho

11) Jenni Ognats

12) Jesse Quick

13) Ace West

14) Irey West

And then it goes to the non speedsters:

15) Darla Dudley

16) Superman

17) Shazam (or anyone with his power)

18) Any Green Lantern

19) Cheetah

20) Wonder Woman

Honorable mentions to Jai West and Linda Park. I cannot in good faith place them above Darla until I see if they are able to access Flash Time of their own power in One Minute War.

So here's my reasoning on this list. The top three are fairly easy. Wally is faster than Barry, we know this from Flash War. Bart has been stated multiple times to be as fast as Barry and that one day he will be faster than him. He's just too young right now to surpass him. Also they haven't really raced like Wally and Barry so Bart might've already surpassed Barry and we wouldn't know.

Savitar is below Bart. This is not based off of their last interaction because Bart was a child at the time. Rather this is based on comparing Savitar's feats to Bart's feats. Bart at one point was the speedforce. There's just no getting around that. Only the people stated as being faster than him after that event (Wally and Barry) can actually be considered as faster than him.

Savitar is faster than Eobard in my opinion. Why? The Flash family kicked Eobard's ass with some difficulty but they almost died (and Johnny actually did) trying to do the same to Savitar.

Thad has to be comparable to Bart to actually be a threat to him so he would have to be fairly high up in the rankings.

What's funny is the Black Racer is supposed to be the fastest creature in the universe and yet Wally and Barry have both beat him in several races. The thing here is that 1-7 on this list are all insanely fast and the differences of speed between 1-7 is negligible at best. Realistically there's a difference in speed of a single pico second between 1 (Wally) and 7 (Black Racer). That's how close all these guys are.

Now Jay had to drop out of the Black Racer race so he's below him. But not by much because Jay was still keeping pace for a while. Jay is only slightly faster than Max so Max is next on the list.

Avery is interesting. I debated putting Avery above Max. Ultimately I didn't because the last time Barry accessed Flash Time Avery and Ace were too slow to follow him. This was at the beginning of her training however and since then she has significantly outpaced Ace and was named by Barry to be his successor in JLI. It cannot be overstated that 16 year old Avery Ho is fast.

Jenni is under Avery because she has the Allen speed but we don't really have any metrics or feats for her yet. There's nothing really to compare to except that she could keep up with pre speedforce absorbtion Bart. I see Avery as around that speed as well but with more training.

Jesse and Ace were tricky because they're both considered 'slower' speedsters. Obviously that's extremely relative because to a speedster 'slow' is not being able to break lightspeeds. Jesse just has more technical know-how so she is above Ace.

Irey, just because of her age, had to be dead last. She is faster than any non-speedster but she's also like 8. Have you ever seen an 8 year old run? Any adult is faster than her. I look forward to seeing her climb the rankings though.

[theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin]

"Tom Riddle effectively destroys the country from the inside out, which I believe was his true goal the entire time" (c) wait a second, so you think that he wasn't going to really take over or anything, just destroy the fuck out of w britain?

I have avoided this ask long enough.

I’ll start by saying that asking me about Tom Riddle is like staring down into a bottomless rabbit hole. We could travel down that path, but it is a dark and perilous journey, and by the end of it I will come out looking like the Mad Hatter.

It also requires a few prerequisites that you’re just going to accept as true (or else got off the crazy train here).

We know very little about Tom Riddle or Voldemort

What we do know of Tom Riddle comes to us from suspect sources

I’m just going to go out there and start with the basis that Tom is not crazy

Elaborating a little on number 1. We never actually see much of Tom Riddle or Voldemort directly. He’s a bit like Thanos in the MCU, or Palpatine in the first two movies of the Original Trilogy, he’s this looming threat that we pass by and glimpse every once in a while but never really get quality time with.

Generally, Voldemort makes an appearance in a moment of crisis.

He and Harry fight over the philosopher’s stone for Tom’s very survival. He and Harry fight over the diary for Tom’s very survival. He resurrects himself with Harry as a witness. We get those very strange dreams from Voldemort’s perspective (half of which we later learn are fabricated).

None of these really lend to our, or Harry’s for that matter, understanding of Tom Riddle. There’s too much going on, it usually happens far too fast, and there’s usually something Tom Riddle desperately wants or needs that eclipses all other concerns or else he has an audience.

This is part of the reason we get those Halfblood Prince pensieve lessons: Harry knows nothing of Tom Riddle and doesn’t understand him at all.

Which leads us, of course, to number 2, most of what we know about Tom Riddle comes from Dumbledore. I’ve talked about this before, so I won’t spend much time on it, but Dumbledore has a very clear agenda in relaying these memories to Harry. Dumbledore already has strong suspicions of what objects are horcruxes and where they’re located, he already has Snape as a very reliable agent to continue work when he’s gone, his job here is to convince Harry there is no path but suicide. And that involves portraying Tom Riddle as the most evil man who ever eviled, was born eviler than the antichrist, and will die eviler than the antichrist. 

Now, does this make Tom necessarily good or bad? No.

However, it does mean when Dumbledore tells us things like, “See, Harry, an impoverished child was upset when I lit all his belongings on fire! What a monster!” (especially given that, in a similar situation, Harry thought it was hilarious when Hagrid gave Dudley a permanent physical deformity and Harry was told he was an angel child) we should take it with a very large grain of salt.

Right, so, with all that backdrop what I’m getting at is that a) we can’t take Dumbledore at his word b) even if we could he could be wrong c) Harry doesn’t have the introspection to be able to figure himself when a or b is happening. I won’t elaborate on this last much, suffice to say that Harry’s world is very black and white, divided into the camps of those who personally like him and those who don’t.

So, why do I think Tom’s goal was not to rule the wizarding world but instead to destroy it?

A few things.

First, there are so many easier ways he could have ended up ruling the wizarding world. More, even when he effectively does rule the wizarding world in book seven, he takes very strange actions so that he’s never directly in power.

Second, I never really bought Tom’s racism. It’s too convenient and too contradictory with his backstory.

The second first, because we’re going out of order today. I’ve gone over this before, but I don’t believe Tom had minions early and I think he was effectively treated as a muggleborn (see here and here) until he took on the Voldemort persona many decades later. I’m hard pressed to believe someone as intelligent, angry, and proud as Tom Riddle would willingly believe and accept he was inferior to the likes of Abraxas Malfoy. More, even if he wished he was a halfblood, I think the evidence of him being muggleborn would be stacked too high against him to deny even to himself (and when he finds out it’s not true, he has maybe a month or so before he realized that he’s the bastard son of a squib). 

And it’s just so convenient. All the people with the power, with the money, who are itching for a cause against a threat that doesn’t really exist believe in blood purity. Ergo, Voldemort shows up suddenly espousing over the top blood purity rhetoric (rhetoric that directly clashes with his “there is only power” philosophy at that). 

In other words, I think Tom Riddle gave himself a line that he knew would get him places very quickly.

And now for the first. For a guy who has had the entire country in the palm of his hands twice, one time taking it over in a bloodless coup, he’s really big on causing collateral damage and really small on actually doing the ruling thing.

The first wizarding war, Tom Riddle as Voldemort has the backing of the heirs of the most prestigious and wealthy noble houses save a select few. These are people with seats in the Wizengamot, which has a frightening control over the government itself (including the minister of magic). I imagine, in 1980 had Tom Riddle wanted to be elected as Minister of Magic, he would have been elected as Minister of Magic. If he wanted a friendly face in office then he probably could have made that happen to.

More than even this though, by this point, Tom had already won. By having control over the majority of the Wizengamot he owns the government. He’s done, it’s over, it’s finished, and many of the characters admit as much which is why Harry Potter was such a miracle. So why all the seemingly random, exceptionally pointless, terrorism? 

One answer is that Voldemort is crazy bananas. And sure, I guess we can go with that, except for someone insane he’s oddly effective and very consistent. 

I believe Tom was systematically destroying the very foundations of the country through its core aristocratic families. Within a few short years Tom decimates the Black family, it goes from having five heirs to none, and while some of this isn’t Tom’s fault he does take care of quite a few of them. He brands Lucius for life, while Lucius rises high in politics he never escapes the stigma of being a known Death Eater and in the end cannot escape the consequences for his actions. The Malfoy family is very nearly destroyed by the end of the series, had Draco died in the Fiendfyre. The LeStrange family, presumably decimated as well.

More, this is mostly me headcanoning, but I imagine Tom fuels an extremism that the Wizarding World had never contemplated. I imagine, previously, anti-muggleborn sentiment was probably fairly rampant among purebloods. Oh, some were very pro-muggleborn I’m sure, but I think most were fairly “eh” on the people and felt they were a drain on society (such as requiring constant funding for the obliviation department).

However, when Diagon Alley starts getting blown up every other week, when muggleborns start being tortured and murdered, when purebloods who aren’t anti-muggleborn enough are being tortured and murdered, this starts wigging people out in a way they’ve never wigged out before.

By the time we get to Harry Potter’s canon, it is now only a minority that are anti-muggleborn, and they’re perceived as raving lunatics. Nobody wants to be grouped with these people. Which, just goes to show, how much Voldemort rattles the wizarding world in a very small amount of time.

Then there’s Deathly Hallows, rather than become minister himself Voldemort installs a puppet minister. He shows no signs of wishing to change this and instead does things like destroy the sorting hat (which again shakes the very foundations of the wizarding world as whta will we do if we don’t know who’s a Gryffindor anymore?!)

So, where is this ramble going?

Given the results we see, that more than any others it seems to be the purebloods and often Tom’s own followers that suffer colossal losses, I think Tom’s actions are, in part, a means of vengeance against the entire damn wizarding world (but especially the purebloods).

He makes fools of these people, brands them as his slaves, and has them participate in the most over the top ridiculous rituals (the cloaks, the masks, the entire theatrics of it feels like Tom got drunk one night and planned this whole thing out). He destroys them entirely, and better, enables them to completely destroy themselves and the country they believe they’re trying to save.

Basically, I think by the time the series begins Tom is fueled by a nihilist rage that knows no bounds. But dammit all, the wizarding world is going to burn.

[saintlike78]

Ok so... I have a little request : Bill is not with Fleur, but he meets Harry's cousin (Dudley's sister, who is the complete opposite of her family and loves Harry as her own brother) and she arouses his interest, and from here you can continue as you wish, if you could do a little smut if you are comfortable.🤗🤗🤗

I know Dudley doesn't have a sister, but I like the idea. And sorry for the mistakes, but I don't speak English so well.

Never seen anyone like you [B.W.]

A/N: Thank you so much for your request! I’m so sorry for the long wait, but I loved this idea so much, but I just didn’t know which direction to go with it, but I hope you like what I came up with. Reader is the same age as the twins and is also a muggle. This is also kinda paired with another request, where the person just wanted a Bill Weasley smut, which is also included.

Pairings: Bill Weasley x Fem! Muggle! Reader

Words: 3.6k

Warnings: NSFW 16+, vaginal sex, fingering, unprotected sex, age gap (7 years), mention of death, mention of nightmares, mention of injury.

The wind hit your back and made a chill run up your spine, making you shiver. Standing in the driveway of nr. 4 Privet Drive, you and Harry were watching your mother, father and brother leave because of the wizarding war threatening their safety. Your mother had tried but failed to get you to leave as well, but you couldn’t imagine leaving Harry behind and not being able to be there for him and to protect him, even if you had no magic yourself.

You had always loved Harry and saw him as a closer family than your actual family. You never understood what the problem was with him or why your family seemed to despise him so much, that was until he got his letter and he left for Hogwarts. You were so happy for him, but not being able to see him and only during the summer was tough because without Harry there to take all the slander from the Dursleys you, unfortunately, became the family's punching bag. When you turned 18 and finally moved out, you let Harry stay with you in your flat instead of going home to your family.

The house seemed eerie with only you and Harry and no future. You sat on the kitchen counter, Harry was pacing around the kitchen whilst you were waiting for the order to come and transport you both.

“Are you sure you want to do this? It’s not too late to leave and go into hiding yourself,” Harry said looking at you with worry.

“I’m sure, Harry, I want to be here with you and make sure you’re alright.”

A knock sounded on the door and you jumped down from the counter, following Harry to the door. Harry opened the door and inside stepped many familiar faces and some you hadn’t seen before. Having had Harry stay with you, you had met all the Weasleys (except for Charlie and Bill), when you had gone to visit The Burrow.

They all stepped inside one at a time and greeted you. The twins had made a huge show about picking you up and spinning you around telling you how much they had missed their ‘favorite muggle’, you slapped both their arms lightly and let them pass you. The last two people to enter was Arthur Weasley who you greeted, and one person you hadn’t met before. He had red hair, letting you know he was a Weasley as well, he was tall and had scars running down his face like Remus Lupin. You were almost at a loss for words when he stepped inside, your mind completely blank after looking at how handsome he was. You could already feel a little crush starting to form and you got butterflies when he made his way to you and stuck out his hand for you to shake.

“I’m Bill Weasley, a pleasure to meet you, at last, my family has told me much about you.” He said as you shook his hand. “Y/N Dursley, lovely to meet you too,” you said knowing you should be letting his hand go, but letting it linger a little longer.

You both just stared at each other, completely forgetting where you were and that you had things to do. That was until Fred and George came up on either side of you, each placing a hand on each of your shoulders, prompting you to let go of Bill’s hand.

“Well, now you’re just missing Charlie and then you’ve met the whole Weasley-clan,” Fred said with a laugh.

You just laughed and nodded your head.

“I’m going to go find Harry,” you quickly smiled at Bill and got out of the twin’s grasp, leaving them alone with Bill in the hallway.

“Blimey, why did none of you tell me!” Bill exclaimed in a low voice.

“Tell you what?” the twins said in synch.

“Tell me about Y/N,” he said as if his statement was obvious.

“We did, we said she was really nice and that she came round the shop and by the house a couple of times,” George said, still not really understanding what their brother meant.

“Yes, you said she was nice, but you didn’t tell me she looked like that.”

Both Fred and George let out a laugh, “Well mate, we didn’t think it was important to say that she doesn’t look like the other Dursleys.”

Bill hmphed like a child, “you could have told me. She’s the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen.”

“Alright alright, calm down Bill,” Fred laughed.

“But if you must know… she’s the same age as us, so a bit young for you eh? But she’s also single, from what we’ve gathered,” George informed their brother.

Bill just nodded and was about to ask more about you, but Moody’s voice was heard from the lounge telling everyone to gather around.

Entering the lounge, Bill spotted you and came to stand beside you, but slightly behind you. You felt his presence and turned your head slightly to give him a smile, one that he returned.

Moody briefed you all on what was going to happen, not without an objection from Harry. When Moody told everyone that he wanted there to be seven Harrys’, you had volunteered, since you felt kind of useless, being a muggle and all. This also didn’t go over well with Harry, telling you that this was out of the question, but you being just as stubborn as he would not let him talk you out of it. You told him that you wanted to help and that this was the only way for you to help with this situation.

After much convincing from not only you but everyone, he finally agreed.

“Alright, all the Harrys’ have a companion to ride with except for you Y/N.. you can ride with Bill,” Moddy informed you.

You nodded and felt a hand fall on your shoulder and giving it a squeeze. You looked back at Bill, whose hand it was, and smiled again. He kept his hand on your shoulder as a form of comfort and encouragement, squeezing once in a while. You could feel the butterflies swarming around in your stomach and you felt all warm and tingly all over, just because of his small touch.

Not long after, you were clinging on to Bill as you made your way to The Burrow. You didn’t know what you were thinking volunteering, since you couldn’t really protect yourself against the swarm of death eaters that followed you through the sky. Bill was trying his best to steer and fight back against them all. Moody was trying to shield you from the other side, but then suddenly a green spark hit him, and he tumbled towards the ground.

You let out a scream and buried your head into Bill’s back.

“Don’t worry, the worst part is over, we’ll be there soon,” Bill shouted against the wind so you would be able to hear him.

Arriving at The Burrow you were met by Molly attacking both you and Bill with a gigantic hug.

“Are you alright?” she asked looking between Bill and yourself.

“We’re alright mum, but Alastor… he didn’t make it,” Bill said looking down.

You put a hand on his back, slowly rubbing up and down trying to soothe him. You knew everyone was close with Moody and that his death would hurt the Order.

“How is everyone?” You asked Molly, hoping she would bring you some sort of good news.

“We’re still missing Fred and Arthur, but it would be best for you to come with me inside… George was hurt, he’ll be fine, but I need to keep an eye on him,” Molly informed you both.

___________________________

You were startled awake by the image of Alastor crashing towards the ground. You were trying to catch your breath, your hands shaky and sweat running down your back. You decided you needed a glass of water and perhaps some fresh air to calm down. You quietly got out of your makeshift bed on the floor and tried your best not to wake Ginny and Hermione, as you made your way out of the bedroom and down the creaky stairs towards the kitchen.

The cold water slid down your throat and you instantly felt better, but you still needed some air. You quietly opened the door to the garden and walked outside, the cool summer air instantly lowering your body temperature and relaxing you. Finding a nice spot, you sat upon the grass looking up at the stars, you hoped everything would turn out alright, but you weren’t so sure with how intense everything had been last night and that was just a tiny mission. Your head raced with millions of thoughts you didn’t notice the scar-faced ginger looking at you from the door and making his way over to you when he noticed the number of clothes (or rather lack thereof) you were wearing.

“Are you alright?” he asked quietly as to not startle you with his presence.

You looked up at him and nodded. You patted the spot beside you, indicating for him to sit.

You couldn’t help but admire how handsome he looked in the moonlight, even if he was just wearing some casual plaid pajama pants and a knitted jumper, which you could tell was a Molly original.

You sat in silence as you both stared at the moon, the cool air having finally cooled you down, your temperature was now a bit too low, and you could feel goosebumps rise on your bare arms and legs. Bill who had been watching you making sure you were comfortable quickly removed the knitted jumper and handed it to you.

“Here, you’ll get ill if you don’t warm-up,” he said and you didn’t argue, pulling the jumper over your head. It smelled good and was already warm from leftover body heat from Bill, which made your stomach do a flip and fill with butterflies.

“Thank you,” you said with a smile, “please tell me if you get cold and want your jumper back.”

“No problem, and it’s fine, I don’t really get cold,” Bill said.

Putting his hands behind his head, he laid down looking up at the stars. Your eyes were instantly drawn to the way his muscles flexed in the grey t-shirt he had worn underneath the jumper. Your mouth watered a little, but you quickly pulled yourself together and laid down as well.

You laid in silence and looked at the stars, it wasn’t awkward or uncomfortable, it was like you had known him your whole life, it felt so right.

A couple of minutes passed before Bill broke the silence.

“Why’d you decide to go with Harry instead of your family?”

You were a little taken aback by the bluntness of the question, but nevertheless answered quickly, not needing time to think about your answer.

“Harry is my family, and I couldn’t just leave him, especially now… I want to be there for him, even though I’m just a muggle, I..I’m going to be there until this war is over.”

Bill nodded turning his head towards yours, your head already turned towards him meeting his eyes. Your breath caught in your throat when you realized how close your face was to his, the way his eyes flicked between your eyes and your lips made your stomach do flips. Suddenly he started leaning in, “I know this is very sudden, but may I kiss you?” Bill said lowly, almost a whisper.

You nodded and leaned in the rest of the way connecting your lips with his. You knew it was so cliché, but you felt instant sparks of electricity shooting through your entire body.

The kiss was slow and gentle, but then you felt Bill’s tongue on your bottom lip asking for permission to enter your mouth, which you granted. He leaned upon one of his arms, so he was above you, his free arm cupping your cheek and keeping your face towards his.

This went on for a while, but begrudgingly you pulled apart for air.

You stared at each other, both taking deep breaths trying to regain a normal breathing pattern.

“wow,” Bill sighed out, “you are unbelievably beautiful.”

Your cheeks turned red with the heat of the blush settling on your face.

“Thank you,” you whispered and reached a hand up to caress his cheek.

You ended up talking until the sun rose on the horizon, the morning dew settling on the grass, making everything damp.

Your head was on Bill’s chest, hugging him to keep warm, but also just to be close to him.

“You don’t think I’m too old do you?” Bill asked, gently stroking your back.

Your headshot up from his chest to look into his eyes, “of course not,” you laughed and shook your head, laying it down again. Bill just chuckled and mumbled “alright.”

___________________________

You ran across the lawn as the black smoke figures landed around you. You tried to find Harry or Bill.

One of the figures shot a spell towards you and you ducked and covered your face, even though you knew that wouldn’t help. You waited for an impact, but it never came, instead, you were yanked by your arm into a broad chest. You looked up and saw Bill already looking at you, a concerned look on his face.

“Okay get ready, love,” he said quickly.

You didn’t get a chance to ask for what before the air was knocked out of you and the world spun around you.

You landed with a ‘thump’, eyes closed, still holding on tightly to Bill, afraid you were going to be sick.

“It’s alright now, you can open your eyes now,” Bill said quietly.

You opened your eyes, and you were met with the bright sun shining down on you. The light breeze caught in your hair and the smell of the ocean met your nose.

You looked around, the ocean was in front of you, and behind you was old, but cozy-looking, cottage.

“Where are we?” you asked, still not letting go of Bill.

“Shell cottage, it’s my family’s place… I took us here because we’ll be safe here,” Bill explained.

You nodded, but the relief was quickly replaced by worry and fear.

“But what about Harry and the others? They’re not here!” you rushed out, also leaving Bill’s arms to pace in front of him.

He pulled you back and pushed a strand of hair out of your face.

“The rest of the family is fine. Harry, Ron, and Hermione all went somewhere, where I’m not sure, but Ron promised he would let us know that they’re safe.”

You sighed out, still very concerned, but relieved that you were safe and hoped that Harry would be as well.

“Let’s go inside, love,” Bill whispered, taking your hand and leading you inside.

He first showed you around the house and then showed you to your room and let you freshen up or take a nap, just letting you calm down in your own space.

___________________________

You were startled awake by the images that played behind your closed eyes. You focused on the room, the moonlight bleeding in through the window, lighting up a part of the floor.

Your breathing was heavy, and your body was sweaty.

You tried to calm down for about 10 minutes, but you just couldn’t find a peaceful enough state to let yourself go back to sleep.

Your feet hit the cold floor and the wood creaked beneath your feet. You made your way out of your room and across the small hallway to where Bill had let you know his room was.

You opened the door slowly, peeking inside.

Inside you were met with a sleeping Bill, his shirtless figure on his back. You closed the door behind you and tip-toed your way over to his bed.

“Bill,” you whispered, already feeling guilty for disturbing him.

He stirred a little, not opening his eyes, but letting out a little “hmm?”, indicating that he was awake enough to hear you.

“I can’t sleep,” you mumbled shyly.

He didn’t say anything further, he only moved his blanket to the side and opened his arms for you to crawl into. You didn’t hesitate before crawling into the bed and curling up close to his body, already feeling calmed by his steady breathing.

“thank you,” you whispered, breathing in his calming scent.

He wrapped his arms around you and held you close, you could feel his breathing even out and you knew he had drifted off again.

You closed your eyes and listened to the steady beating of his heart, lulling you back to sleep.

You woke up, your entire body warm from being wrapped up in Bill’s arms. Your legs tangled with his, his arms still holding you tightly against him.

You looked at his calm sleeping face, you felt so at home with him, and you let out a content sigh.

“I can feel you staring, you know,” Bill said, startling you.

“I’m not staring,” you fired back too quickly to sound convincing, causing Bill to slightly smirk.

“Whatever you say, darling,” he said and hugged you closer.

He opened his eyes, looking over your face and smiling.

Bill leaned in and pecked your lips slightly, gauging your reaction. You just smiled and leaned in again kissing him longer.

Bill deepened the kiss, moving so he was above you. You spread your legs slightly allowing him to get between them on top of you. The kiss turned more passionate and heated as Bill slowly ground his hips into yours, causing you to softly moan into his mouth.

Bill broke the kiss and looked into your eyes, “Is this okay? Do you want this?”.

You whimpered slightly, “please Bill, I want it.”

Bill let out a groan at your words and reconnected your lips, hips grinding into your own.

The small whines and whimpers that left your lips egged him on and went straight to his cock.

Bill reached one hand between you feeling your wetness through your panties. “So wet for me and I haven’t properly touched you yet.”

You whined at his words, craving more of his touch.

“what is it you want, pretty girl?” he asked, teasing you.

“please touch me, Bill,” you whimpered out, eyes big and begging.

“Such a good girl,” he praised before moving your panties to the side and finding your clit drawing slow circles on the nub.

You moaned at the feeling and grabbed his arm that wasn’t working on you.

His fingers moved down, and he slowly pushed a finger into you causing you to let out a small gasp.

“I just need to get you ready for me,” Bill said softly, leaning down to kiss your forehead. He then added a second finger, creating a delicious feeling because of the slight stretch. Bill used his thumb to rub your clit bringing you closer to your release.

He curled and scissored his fingers making you clench around his fingers, Bill’s lips curled up into a slight grin.

“Cum for me, my beautiful girl.”

His words made the coil in your belly snap and you came on his fingers as you shook and closed your eyes in pleasure. You were panting as Bill worked you through your orgasm. He removed his fingers and brought them up to his lips sucking them clean and releasing them with a ‘pop’.

“absolutely divine.”

He made haste work of removing your panties and the shirt you had slept in, as well as his own boxers.

When you were both completely naked, he stroked his cock a couple of times before running it through your folds to gather your arousal as a lubricant. Bill slowly started pushing into you and you both released simultaneous gasps at the feeling. He pushed all the way in and bottomed out in you but didn’t move as he waited for you to adjust.

“I’m okay, you can move,” you said and moaned when he pulled back his hips and snapped them back into yours, and set a steady and pleasurable pace.

Leaning down so your chests were pressed together, he sloppily kissed you drinking up all the moans that spilled from your mouth to his.

He broke the kiss and leaned up slightly to snake a hand between your bodies to rub your swollen clit. You didn’t have time to process before you came for the second time that morning. Your whole body shook, and your legs tightened around Bill’s hips.

“Such a pretty sight… think you can take one more?” Bill panted out.

You whimpered and nodded.

“Ah, use your words angel.”

“Yes, Bill, I can take another,” you moaned out as he kept pounding into your sensitive cunt.

“Good girl,” Bill said as he pulled out of you and laying himself down, guiding you by your hips to straddle him.

He positioned you above his cock and guided it into you again.

“There you go, my pretty baby, go own ride me,�� Bill encouraged, and you wasted no time in obeying him.

You rocked your hips, circled them, and bounced on him until you felt yourself nearing another release and you moaned loudly.

Bill’s hand found your clit again and rubbed it until your knees quivered as you came again.

When you had finished, Bill grabbed your hips and angled you so he could fuck up into you, chasing his own release.

Not long after, his thrusts faltered, and he stilled as he emptied himself in you.

You collapsed onto his chest trying to catch your breath. Bill rubbed your back slowly, before pulling out of you causing a whimper to fall from your lips.

“You did so well,” Bill praised, kissing your forehead.

“I’m never going to let you go, my pretty girl.”

[pet-genius]

The Death Eaters as a Cult - Part 1

This is a very lightly edited old Reddit post, that I'll publish in parts because the whole thing is like 7000 words. Analyzing Voldemort, the DE and their dynamics, Dumbledore and Harry in comparison, and individual Death Eaters. Hope you like it!

Some say Voldemort is a cartoon villain, or wizard Hitler. I think he is very realistic, and that the focus on his political aspirations ignores interesting aspects of him. I cannot prove that JKR had cults in mind when she wrote Voldemort and his followers, but this is how I read them. It’s nearly impossible to define a cult, so, for the purpose hereof, I’m going with “a group dedicated to the worship of a person”. Many cult leaders in real life present themselves merely as “god’s voice” or “the messiah”, but Voldemort specifically didn’t bother to hide behind a power higher than himself.

Tom Riddle comes from humble beginnings, like many cult leaders - he’s raised in an orphanage. He already has delusions of grandeur, only in this case they’re not delusions, because he really is magic, which makes it all the more dangerous. Look how he reacted to discovering he was a wizard, and how Harry did.

Immediately following the revelation that Lily and James did not die in a car crash, and that Harry is famous, and that he survived an attempt at his life by the worst wizard in history:

Hagrid looked at Harry with warmth and respect blazing in his eyes, but Harry, instead of feeling pleased and proud, felt quite sure there had been a horrible mistake. A wizard? Him? How could he possibly be? He’d spent his life being clouted by Dudley, and bullied by Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon; if he was really a wizard, why hadn’t they been turned into warty toads every time they’d tried to lock him in his cupboard? If he’d once defeated the greatest sorcerer in the world, how come Dudley had always been able to kick him around like a football?

“Hagrid,” he said quietly, “I think you must have made a mistake. I don’t think I can be a wizard.”

Heart-breaking. Harry doesn’t believe he can be special, he blames himself for the way he’s treated.

This is Tom Riddle:

“I know that you are not mad. Hogwarts is not a school for mad people. It is a school of magic.”

There was silence. Riddle had frozen, his face expressionless, but his eyes were flickering back and forth between each of Dumbledore’s, as though trying to catch one of them lying. “Magic?” he repeated in a whisper.

“That’s right,” said Dumbledore.

“It’s... it’s magic, what I can do?”

“What is it that you can do?”

“All sorts,” breathed Riddle. A flush of excitement was rising up his neck into his hollow cheeks; he looked fevered. “I can make things move without touching them. I can make animals do what I want them to do, without training them. I can make bad things happen to people who annoy me. I can make them hurt if I want to.”

His legs were trembling. He stumbled forward and sat down on the bed again, staring at his hands, his head bowed as though in prayer.

“I knew I was different,” he whispered to his own quivering fingers. “I knew I was special. Always, I knew there was something.”

His megalomania and violent nature are already apparent, as is his preternatural control of his magic. It also hints at rudimentary legilimency.

Dumbledore spells out that young Tom Riddle equated magic with immortality and liked to collect trophies, and that Tom Riddle liked being special, as he resents the name Tom for being too common; he already lives behind a mask and only shows his true face in shock. This, and not Dumbledore’s magical prowess, is what always scared Tom. Voldemort knew Dumbledore knew what he was. That was the only tactical advantage Dumbledore had.

It’s also one of JKR’s strokes of brilliance: Dumbledore saw Tom for what Tom was, and others never did until it was too late, not because he was that clever, but because he knew from experience. Dumbledore had allowed himself to fall for a charismatic but heartless man before, and it took Ariana dying to slap him awake. Dumbledore knows good people can be led astray: It happened to him. It has nothing to do with intelligence or “goodness”. Gellert was able to give Albus exactly what Albus lacked, stuck at home taking care of Ariana: the promise of freedom and a bright future, and the companionship of an equal. Albus fell for it, despite warning signs that should have been obvious.

Later, we know Tom is chosen by a wand of yew and phoenix feather. Both yew and phoenix are associated with immortality; yew trees are very long-lived. Compare this to Harry’s wand, holly and phoenix feather: both these characters will experience death and rebirth, except Tom Riddle’s wand tree is yew, and Harry’s is holly.

From Wikipedia: “The Christian church commonly found it expedient to take over existing pre-Christian sacred sites for churches. It has also been suggested that yews were planted at religious sites as their long life was suggestive of eternity, or because, being toxic when ingested, they were seen as trees of death.” Also from Wikipedia: “Christians have identified a wealth of symbolism in the holly tree’s form. The sharpness of the leaves help to recall the crown of thorns worn by Jesus; the red berries serve as a reminder of the drops of blood that were shed for salvation; and the shape of the leaves, which resemble flames, can serve to reveal God's burning love for His people.”

The two orphans’ wildly different views of death are also apparent in their wand trees. Voldemort will murder to attain his goals; Harry will sacrifice himself. That the phoenix feather came from Fawkes is also meaningful - Dumbledore taught both magic in some capacity, but he never could defeat Voldemort, because they’re too alike. One of Harry’s advantages in this battle is the integrity of his soul, which cannot be compromised.

Next, Tom Riddle is sorted into Slytherin. For a child who is already prone to megalomania, the house values bring out the worst in him, and under Slughorn, he grows into a manipulative, cunning, ruthless young man. I’m not blaming Horace for Tom being a psychopath, but some of the particular ways his psychopathy manifested in seem to have been directly due to Slughorn’s influence. Slughorn is a blood-supremacist, who was convinced Tom must come from fine stock. Slughorn tests drinks for poison using house elves; Tom Riddle tests the effectiveness of his Horcrux’s protection on Kreacher. Slughorn emphasizes the importance of connections and outright praises Tom for knowing more than he needs to, and encourages an attitude of “it’s only wrong if you get caught.” But Slughorn, prejudiced and cunning as he is, is not violent - he is academically curious about Horcruxes, but he finds them repugnant. Tom’s heart is not so faint - at the point of asking Slughorn about Horcruxes, the diary is already a horcrux, and Tom has already murdered his father. This is how Dumbledore describes Tom’s original gang, who were the proto-Death Eaters:

As he moved up the school, he gathered about him a group of dedicated friends; I call them that, for want of a better term, although as I have already indicated, Riddle undoubtedly felt no affection for any of them. This group had a kind of dark glamour within the castle. They were a motley collection; a mixture of the weak seeking protection, the ambitious seeking some shared glory, and the thuggish gravitating toward a leader who could show them more refined forms of cruelty. In other words, they were the forerunners of the Death Eaters, and indeed some of them became the first Death Eaters after leaving Hogwarts. Rigidly controlled by Riddle, they were never detected in open wrongdoing, although their seven years at Hogwarts were marked by a number of nasty incidents to which they were never satisfactorily linked, the most serious of which was, of course, the opening of the Chamber of Secrets, which resulted in the death of a girl. As you know, Hagrid was wrongly accused of that crime.

Dumbledore explains what motivated people to join Tom: some were afraid, some ambitious, some cruel. He controlled his so-called friends, and already started framing others for his own crimes (Hagrid’s framing was followed by Morfin’s and Hokey the house elf’s).

This is followed by Tom’s attempt to become a teacher (Dumbledore spells out his motivations: He is attached to the school, he wants to study its magic, and he already wants to build himself an army). He is denied, oddly chooses to work for Borgin and Burkes, a choice fueled by the desire to trace down more items to make into Horcruxes. Through the memory of the meeting with Heptzibah Smith, we see that Tom was definitely charming when he needed to be, and knew how to make people feel good. He did not use magic to trick her into showing him her precious locket and cup: he used muggle manipulation - flattery, making an old and forlorn lady feel valuable, perhaps even flirting with her (she’s certainly flirting with him). He was pleasant enough that Ms. Smith eagerly looked forward to his visits - but as she showed him her treasures, he was caught off guard by hearing about his mother and how she sold the locket, and she saw him for what he was, although she quickly fell into denial. Sadly, she was murdered two days later.

Why rely on Horcruxes to gain immortality? Tom must have known about Nicholas Flamel and the Philosopher’s Stone, and the Horcruxes require someone else to perform the resurrection ritual. Either making the Stone is so hard that it would deter Tom (unlikely), or he already expected to rely on followers who would find him and revive him - he certainly seems to have expected his followers to have searched for him earlier. Maybe Horcruxes were appealing because they require murder. In any case, this is followed by the memory of Tom asking Dumbledore for the DADA job again, a decade later. Tom has spent a decade gathering followers, and he has already changed his name to Lord Voldemort. This is reminiscent of real life cult leader David Koresh, and the leaders of the Children of God, Aum Shinrikyo, etc. The meeting between Voldemort and Albus is interesting, because it’s clear that Dumbledore had tried to teach Tom about the power of love:

“The old argument,” he said softly. “But nothing I have seen in the world has supported your famous pronouncements that love is more powerful than my kind of magic, Dumbledore.”

“Perhaps you have been looking in the wrong places,” suggested Dumbledore.

This did not help. Tom never learned - how could he? At 16, he was already a murderer - who could love him now for who he was? He could never be truly loved, and he could never truly love another, and he underestimated the power of love for his entire life, leading to his downfall - twice (were that it was so simple in real life).

Voldemort is trying to obfuscate the nature of the relationship, like all cults - they never admit this is what they are.

“I am glad to hear that you consider them friends,” said Dumbledore. “I was under the impression that they are more in the order of servants.”

“You are mistaken,” said Voldemort.

But LV can’t lie to Dumbledore, who changes the subject. He denies him the DADA job again, and the curse is placed on the job. LV’s ascent is due to begin in a few years. Hagrid tells the story:

Anyway, this — this wizard, about twenty years ago now, started lookin’ fer followers. Got ’em, too — some were afraid, some just wanted a bit o’ his power, ’cause he was gettin’ himself power, all right. Dark days, Harry. Didn’t know who ter trust, didn’t dare get friendly with strange wizards or witches...

Voldemort isn’t just interested in immortality. He wants complete control. He wants everyone fearing him - even fearing his name. He has people isolated and distrustful, fearing for their lives.

But we know his reign of terror was dreadful - what I’m interested in is the way he treated his own followers. We know little about how he treated them in the first war, but we do have what Sirius had to say about Regulus’s fate:

From what I found out after he died, he got in so far, then panicked about what he was being asked to do and tried to back out. Well, you don’t just hand in your resignation to Voldemort. It’s a lifetime of service or death.

We know the real story of Regulus’s disappearance, and it’s different. Kreacher tells us that Regulus died in the Horcrux cave - but more telling is that Regulus forbade Kreacher from telling his parents what had happened to him. Why did he feel the need to do that? This suggests that Regulus knew LV destroyed traitors’ families, which is a tactic used in cults and other abusive dynamics. We know LV would leverage Draco’s welfare against Lucius for his failure in the Department of Mysteries, too. We know also that instead of going to Dumbledore, or to his own brother, Regulus chose death – unless he was really dumb, and I don’t think he was, he must have been manipulated into believing that was his only option, or his world made no sense after his faith had shattered. So many people never readjust to life outside the cult.

Voldemort “dies” about two years after that, having successfully recruited about 400 followers (“the death eaters outnumbered us the Order 20:1” - Lupin). We can’t say if all these people were genuine Death Eaters or people who had been Imperiused or otherwise coerced, or allies like Narcissa, but that coercion is used to recruit shows that Voldemort did not take his own followers’ ambitions and wishes into account. People who use outright coercion don't suddenly draw the line at manipulation.

[malkaleh]

Some more fake fandom content in my Tudors OT3 AU Universe. Content note for non explicit discussion of child abuse so it’s under a cut. I want to note the first one is pretty drawn from @outrowingss and @theladyelizabeth post(s) about Tom Cullen/Becoming Elizabeth.

1. No one. I repeat no one hates John Norwich like Rupert Graves and I think that’s beautiful. Rupert Graves is just like ‘no he’s not complex and tortured he’s a child rapist and I would kill him where he stands’ like imagine Norwich seeing that he’s being played by a silver fox attractive man who…hates him. DELIGHTFUL NO NOTES (except you Toby. You take notes re Lionel).

2. There was really a whole scene in the Golden World sequel where Elizabeth Tudor just straight up grabbed Robert Dudley, pushed him onto a bed and hissed ‘I think you’ll find he belongs to me mistress’ and then threw everyone out like that actually happened. Then I learn that apparently they were just like that? Their entire lives? Through five children and all? History is Wild.

3. Look Mihrimah writing erotic poetry about her husband is also an historical fact like !!!!

4. I learn the fact that Henry did in fact draw his husband and wife as various figures from the ancient world is real. I celebrate. I learn that only one of the drawings survived. I mourn. I want the porny historical fanart! I am a very serious scholar.

5. Anne Boleyn had eight children (well nine because Mary is also her child), was a beloved and brilliant Queen and should be admired for her intelligence, kindness and skills but also DAMN I AM SO GAY FOR HER.

[octoir]

in the politest way possible, I disagree!

1a. Let’s go back and talk about SPEW.

It’s in their nature ter look after humans, that’s what they like, see? Yeh’d be makin’ ‘em unhappy ter take away their work, an’ insultin’ ‘em if yeh tried ter pay ‘em.

Wow. How incredibly annoying, Hermione is, for trying to free Elves when they don’t even want to be freed! How desperate, how cross, how naive and stuck-up she is. Doesn’t she know how to actually help house elves? Doesn’t she know that they actually like being mistreated? (what a weird parallel between SPEW and liberalism, that must just be coincidence)

Throughout GoF, Hermione and Ron bicker back and forth about SPEW. Ron finds it hilarious and mocks her relentlessly. What about Harry? What does he think? We don’t know. It’s oddly absent of opinion, except for moments like this,

“Yeah, right,” said Harry. He took a swig of butterbeer under his cloak. “Hermione, when are you going to give up on this spew stuff?”

when he asks when she’ll give up, like an exasperated parent asking their child when they’ll give up on their new phase, as if trying to abolish slavery can be portrayed as a ‘phase.’

I don’t think Harry is necessarily internally moralistic at all. He seems to depend on other people telling him what the right opinion is for marginalized groups, otherwise, he doesn’t care much for politics. Centaurs? Goblins? Meh. They’re not people, after all.

1b. I also think Harry isn’t really capable of moral nuance— for example, Marietta. Harry is absolutely furious at her. Cho tries to explain that Marietta’s mother was in danger of losing her job at the Ministry, yet Harry still just does not care, claiming she’s an “unforgivable traitor.” He even describes her (canonically) permanent disfigurement as “brilliant.”

And this doesn’t change. I know everyone hates the epilogue— fuck it, I’m citing it. He names one of his kids after Dumbledore and Snape. What does naming a child mean?

In my experience, people usually name their children after people or things they greatly like or admire (think of Grace, Hope, Noah, etc) as a form of hope that their children have similar qualities. Yikes!

Dumbledore and Snape are both teenagers trapped in adult bodies, unable to emotionally mature beyond key moments in their formative years (Ariana/Grindelwald, Lily, etc) and thus absolutely fuck Harry and the Trio over in almost laughably horrible ways. But Harry still respects them, feels positively towards them, names his son after them. There’s no moral nuance here. They’re not even morally grey characters— it feels like all of Dumbledore and Snape’s actions have been, somewhat ironically, excused for the “Greater Good,” excused for what they did in the end.

2. okay…so he calls TMR handsome. Euphemia’s point, however, was that Harry “called people ugly with no remorse.” I’m not dying on this hill, but there are a few quotes that I think are pretty interesting:

“Dudley looked a lot like Uncle Vernon. He had a large pink face, not much neck, small, watery blue eyes, and thick blond hair that lay smoothly on his thick, fat head.”

“Dudley hitched up his trousers, which were slipping down his fat bottom.”

“The lighted dial of Dudley’s watch, which was dangling over the edge of the sofa on his fat wrist…”

“…and watching Dudley tearing out of the room as fast as his fat legs would carry him.”

“Behind him walked a Slytherin girl who reminded Harry of a picture he’d seen in Holidays with Hags. She was large and square and her heavy jaw jutted aggressively.” (Millicent Bulstrode)

“Her hair was set in elaborate and curiously rigid curls that contrasted oddly with her heavy-jawed face.” (Rita Skeeter)

“‘How are you?’ she said, standing up and holding out one of her large, mannish hands to Dumbledore.” (Rita Skeeter)

“Once or twice she had turned squatly in her seat to look at him, her wide toad’s mouth stretched in what he thought had been a gloating smile.” (Umbridge)

“‘Thank you very much, Professor.’ ‘You’re a good boy,’ said Professor Slughorn, tears trickling down his fat cheeks into his walrus mustache.”

A particular scene:

"Oh yeah, you were staying with them this summer, weren't you, Potter?" sneered Malfoy. "So tell me, is his mother really that porky, or is it just the picture?"

"You know your mother, Malfoy?" said Harry — both he and Hermione had grabbed the back of Ron's robes to stop him from launching himself at Malfoy — "that expression she's got, like she's got dung under her nose? Has she always looked like that, or was it just because you were with her?"

Malfoy's pale face went slightly pink. “Don’t you dare insult my mother, Potter.”

"Keep your fat mouth shut, then," said Harry, turning away.

Very thought-provoking, awfully similar situations. I wonder what the key difference is 🤷

3. Okay, Draco. I’ll give you that— he did try to cast the cruciatus. However, I’m not trying to focus on whether or not that was justified. Justified or not, it gets brushed off way, way too easily. He does feel regret…but I don’t think it’s genuine, long-term regret. He tells Hermione that he does genuinely feel bad about it…

He was having a bad enough time without Hermione lecturing him; the looks on the Gryffindor team’s faces when he had told them he would not be able to play on Saturday had been the worst punishment of all. He could feel Ginny’s eyes on him now but did not meet them; he did not want to see disappointment or anger there. He had just told her that she would be playing Seeker on Saturday and that Dean would be rejoining the team as Chaser in her place. Perhaps, if they won, Ginny and Dean would make up during the post-match euphoria. … The thought went through Harry like an icy knife. …

But damn if his internal dialogue doesn’t reveal something different. And this is taken from literally the moment before he says that. Seriously, check page 594.

Everything just gets glossed over in favor of the Prince, of the shock of Snape as the Prince, and Harry’s attempted murder just gets…quietly hushed up. He doesn’t get expelled, he doesn’t even have to say sorry— maybe he serves a few detentions, but what the fuck is a few detentions in the face of a life? Harry has literally almost MURDERED someone and yet he faces ZERO consequences and appears to experience NO regret (which, hm, like father like son right? LMFAO)

4. Carrow. Oh, Carrow. The cruciatus curse is interesting.

“Never used an Unforgivable Curse before, have you, boy?” she yelled. She had abandoned her baby voice now. “You need to mean them, Potter! You need to really want to cause pain - to enjoy it - righteous anger won’t hurt me for long…

Harry wanted to cause pain. Not just pain— unimaginable, excruciating pain, pain that he’s personally experienced. And he didn’t have to just want to cause pain—he also had to enjoy it. You can’t dismiss it as a moral outburst of “righteous anger,” because wanting to cause pain so severe it has literally driven people into insanity is not something you push past and sweep under the bed.

You mention that what sets Harry apart from someone like LV is his forgiving nature. Frankly, I think what sets him apart is that he’s been groomed. His attempted suicide shouldn’t be seen as this awe-inspiring, tear-jerking thing. It should be seen as what it really is— a culmination of (intentional or not) 7 years of consistently rewarded self-sacrificial behavior by literally every adult in his life.

it's so funny to me when harry's portrayed as a saint in tomarry fics. like, i get it, compared to tom, harry is a saint, but just because of that, it doesn't mean he's the nicest, purest little bean.

harry's literally fatphobic, unless it's towards people he likes. he calls people ugly with no remorse and he's side-eyeing someone 90% of the time.

he's against hermione's dedication to at least try and free the elves (which is basically being neutral on slave labour)

he idolises questionable people (dumbledore and snape)

he uses the cruciatus successfully. he nearly kills someone and barely feels any remorse for it (draco in hbp)

no matter how much you want to believe, his moral compass isn't the best

[mermaidsirennikita]

omg becoming elizabeth truly has nothing going for it. people are sticking around for this poor mans timmy chamalet-esqe robert dudley and the blank wall in a red wig...

So.... yeah. I saw the first three episodes to give it the old college and decided that for many reasons, it wasn't for me. Then the fifth episode dropped and everybody lost their shit so I watched that in order to properly critique it and like... Yeah. The issues I had with the first three episodes plotwise... followed through.

To be clear, I think that even without those issues it's not a great show. It's pretty flat. Tom Cullen, ironically playing the Worst Man, is probably giving the most energetic performance. Otherwise, it's all pretty standard period piece-ing, except you can tell that they don't want it to be. They're really leaning in to the Tudor!Succession vibe, or attempting to, with the musical choices, some of the editing--but the energy of the show is still very staid and standard Tudor fare, but from the boring side versus the soapy side. It's employing a lot of soapy elements, but it Demands to Be Taken Seriously!!!

And it's like... You can't.... Demand to Be Taken Seriously... When your first episode features a dead cut from "the queen is so sad that the king is dead :(" to Catherine Parr's getting it flipped AND reversed by Thomas Seymour, after which he goes "did the king ever make you come like that" in what can only be described in a JRM!H8-esque moment. Like. Pick a lane. Because you don't have the juice to be Taken Seriously and High Soap Drama. A few shows have that juice.... this doesn't.

You definitely can't be taken seriously with this Seymour/Elizabeth plot, which.....

Here's the deal. I think the complaints about the actress looking too old for this part are correct. And it's ridiculous to suggest that they ever would have cast a minor in this role, right--like, the scripts were laid out well in advance, they knew they'd be having Elizabeth have sex (lmao I said I wanted more sex on TV BUT NOT LIKE THIS) and therefore the actress was going to have to be a legal adult. Obviously, I get why you wouldn't want to pick a fresh 18 year old for this kind of work, but like... Tbh, find a super babyfaced 21 year old who can act. How hard is that?

Because... and I'll be blunt here. I don't think Alicia is especially talented. I think she's very dry. I think that she is reeeeeaching with this performance to come off as much younger than she is, and it's causing her to fall into a very contrived and distracting manner of speech that I just can't... take seriously. She's not good enough to justify the fact that she doesn't look remotely close to 13-15. I think there are girls who could have physically taken on the role and easily matched this performance or surpassed it.

What you lose when you have someone who looks all their 28 years playing this role is the horror of it. It's easy for people who aren't dialed into this history to forget how old Elizabeth is. She and Thomas Seymour do not look that far off in age. Tom Cullen is about 8 years older than Alicia; Thomas Seymour was 25 years older than Elizabeth. The impact is significantly dulled by this failure.

But the thing is... No matter what they say in interviews--I think they wanted the impact stifled. They wanted to have their cake and eat it too; to court wokeness by saying that they were shedding a light on the abuse Elizabeth suffered, still a very murkily discussed subject today, while also offering a "sexy soap". I have nothing against sexy soaps; I prefer them. But a man sexually assaulting a child isn't sexy? And shouldn't be portrayed as such?

It is being portrayed as such. In that scene where he molested Elizabeth (fingering her, to put it bluntly) the bosoms are practically heaving. The lighting is dim. It's intimate. He's asking for consent, and she technically gives it (though, like, could she? Actually?). The emphasis is on her pleasure. Regardless of whether or not Thomas Seymour did go even that far with Elizabeth, I feel like it probably wouldn't have been this like... sensual experience. As your first fingerbanging usually isn't when it's NOT AN ASSAULT....

Obviously, I know that the point of grooming is that things don't always feel like an assault immediately to the victim. Many have even "enjoyed" it in the moment, which compounds the trauma often. But this is a TV show. There are ways of depicting a moment that may be ambiguous in an individual's head, while telling the viewer what is happening. And I feel that, especially in this moment in time especially, it's irresponsible to portray the assault of a child as sexy to the audience.

I know that they know how to do it in a less sexy manner because we have the contrasting scene of Elizabeth having sex with (being raped by) Thomas--she "consents", but it's this jerky, awkward, traumatic moment. The light is bright, the sexy whispers are gone, he's just basically humping her while she looks... concerned is what I think they were going for? It's gross. If she was an adult and it wasn't her first time, at minimum you would call it a bad fuck. It's compounded by the fact that she is a child, this is her first time, and this man was literally married to her stepmother. We the audience are basically told that Elizabeth knows something was off, but she also has feelings for him. I don't think the show ever needed to go there with Elizabeth and Seymour having sex--I tend to think it didn't happen, but even aside from that, her being assaulted in the manner we know did happen... Would've been enough. It felt exploitative. But it felt less disgusting than the earlier molestation scene.

Because like--this show is not told from Elizabeth's limited, interior perspective. This is not an intimate character study in which we're in her mind and the ambiguity of the perspective is more heightened. This show gives us multiple perspectives--it's basically an omniscient narrative. You can have a scene focused on Elizabeth, then Mary, then Seymour, and so on and so forth. When the show portrays a scene as "sexy" and moody, that is the show's broad narrative--we are not "in" Elizabeth's mind. (And tbh, that can be done but it's hard to do that onscreen, compared to what you might be able to portray in a book.)

So..... Yeah, I basically think the whole thing is a disaster and completely unnecessary. Tbh? We didn't need this narrative lol. I've been very vocal about my opinion that it's time to give the Tudors a rest and look at other areas of history, especially ones that are not.... focused on white people. But I don't know; I think you need to take an extremely sensitive approach to telling this story, because at the end of the day, it's literally a story of child sexual abuse, and that's the main takeaway. Now isn't the time for "fight for me" dialogue and soapy hooks. Would you ever feel bold enough to take this stance if you were telling the story of a 13 to 15 year old girl in 2021 being groomed by a man in his 30s?

If you'd like to see a show that actually did portray a teen being groomed by an adult as something she saw as romantic (until she didn't) while never leading the audience to believe it was anything but unambiguously evil and wrong--try Cruel Summer. But like, nobody is in Tudor garb, so.

And on a less serious note--yes the Robert Dudley casting is very milquetoast, and yes this is sad because he was a lot of things but he wasn't a milquetoast lol. A poor man's Chalamet is SUCH a good comparison, though? God, what a similar vibe. What are the odds that the real thing goes and plays Robert Dudley in the 2371812th Tudor production five years from now? Good God.

[hibiscera]

Shazam First impression!!

BABY BOY BABY

First impression

Okay I think the first time I really noticed his existence was... When the movie was coming out, so when I saw the trailer in theaters? I think that was my first exposure to Shazam.

I remember my first thoughts being "hey this superhero movie actually seems fun?" and trust me when I say I have NEVER regretted anything as much as I regret not seeing Shazam in theaters.

When Shazam 3 comes out and Mr. Mind comes onscreen I am GOING to cry in the theater. but this isn't about him right now.

Impression now

SON BOY YOU ARE MY BABY BOY MY ANGEL MY SON!!!

I love Billy "Shazam" Batson so much. He is my son. He is such a good boy and I love him. Power of Shazam is probably my favorite incarnation and the biggest inspiration for my version of him in my personal DC verse. (:

I have a soft spot for the newer version too even if he's rougher around the edges. U_U He is my son boy no matter what.

Favorite moment

Something that really stuck out to me in Power of Shazam is how he was mad at his parents at first for everything, not knowing the truth of what happened. It's a small thing, but it's a detail I like and stuck with me.

Also obligatory mention of the scene from the 7 magiclands when Mr. Mind is giving Billy the "we're not so different you and I" speech because Billy's involvement in that is CRITICAL to making it one of the best scenes ever.

Idea for a story

INHALES. Okay so like, aside from me wanting to write my epic of Billy's first big encounter with Mr. Mind, which I have a WHOOOOLE THING FOR.

I very specifically have been thinking lately about wanting to write this one particular scene. Where Mr. Mind takes Billy into his mindscape and shows Billy the remains of Venus. And gives him the we're not so different you and I speech.

A big part of this is, Mr. Mind is like... for a while here, Billy's "video game companion character" like Navi or Fi, before he reveals his true role and intentions.

But for me, a very important thing about the characters is that they DO parallel each other in a way, so Mr. Mind is being very genuine when he extends a... claw to Billy, telling him they could work together because he understands him.

Of course, he does not TRULY understand Billy because Billy, while frustrated like Mr. Mind is about the hand he was dealt in life and being stepped over, he's also like... normal about it instead of world domination.

Anyways I just want to write out that scene.

Unpopular opinion

None that I can think of at the moment....

Favorite relationship

Okay so I hope everything I just said up there about parallels with Billy and Mr. Mind up there makes it clear that I love them as enemies so much, and how they can mirror each other. I love even more Mr. Mind eventually getting a villain decay arc and becoming Billy's weird uncle who is still kind of evil but at least he is not trying to destroy the city every other week.

But also Billy and Clark. 🥺 Always thinking about the one comic where Superman is going to end the wizard's life for putting the burden he has upon a child. Clark basically adopting him and looking after him always makes me so happy...

AND ALSO since Billy is news reporter, I do think it would be very cute if he looked up to Clark Kent's journalism. 😭

Also of course BILLY AND FREDDY!!! BROTHERS!!! AND MARY!!!!! TWINS!!!!

Honestly, when it comes to Billy and Relationships, I could go on and on because for me that's such a big part of his character, I put a lot of emphasis on it with my version of him and the huge found family he ends up building.

Also specific shout out to Dudley in Power of Shazam being a school janitor who's looking out for him, I think that version is so sweet. 😭

Favorite headcanon

See usually this is where I would talk about the gender and sexuality headcanon but? I don't have any solid ones for Billy except I just know he is a boy. My son boy, in fact.

However you KNOW I made this boy an autistic adhd legend!!!

[mrsfrecklesmarauders]

What if...

Peter Pettigrew had been caught at the end of Prisoner of Azkaban? I imagine that The Ministry would still not believe Sirius' innocence and they would make a proper trial. Dumbledore would've helped Sirius out of guilt, because he didn't do it before. They would win the trial of course because of a thing called Varitaserum. And Remus and Sirius would talk with Peter before he is taken to Azkaban and get the real reason why he betrayed them. They would've found out that the Peter that they used to know is no longer there.

Now, even thought Sirius is a free man, many wizards still don't trust him and many don't believe his innocence thinking he got out because of Dumbledore. But Sirius is free and tries to relive his life as before. This trial would happen while Harry is at the Quidditch Cup with the Weasleys. He would be worried but relieved when he finds out that Sirius was set free.

Remus and Sirius talk with Harry through letters about the posibility of him living with them. Harry of course is thrilled with the idea. But Remus and Sirius tell him that he has to wait and spend the rest of the summer at The Burrow, because they had no jobs, no house, no money to substain him.

During the events of Goblet of fire, Harry exchanges letters not only Sirius but also Remus, getting to know more about them, asking them for advice, and telling him about his worries throught The Triwizard Tournament. Harry becomes really attached to both Sirius and Remus. They are the only connection he has with his parents. I repeat WITH BOTH, not only Sirius. Sirius and Remus visit Harry secretly during this year to support him and try to find out who put the name in the goblet.

And Peter is not the one that helps Voldemort get his body back. That's Barty Crouch Jr. Because it doesn't make sense to me why Peter didn't just run away as far as he could and hide, instead he went to find Voldemort when he didn't even follow Voldy because he wanted, but because he was scared.

After the events of Goblet of Fire, Cedric's death and Voldemort returning, Harry needs his uncles more than ever. They start living together at Grimmauld Place since they don't have other place and since it would be useful for the Order (Dumbledore's orders). But at least Harry doesn't have to back to The Dursleys.

Remus, Sirius and Harry decide to go camping or to the beach for the summer to relax a bit and bond for real this time. Harry takes this opportunity to ask them all the questions he has about his parents and they answer of course. Harry gets to know about Sirius' family, and he gets an inside on how really is a life for a werewolf without the Wolfsbane Potion, and how much Sirius takes care of him. They assure Harry that this is what James did for Remus as well, and Harry feels proud of his dad.

But midsummer, Harry and his uncles have a discussion. Even though they were transparent about their past, they weren't telling him what was going on now. Members of the Order came now and then but Harry didn't understand why. And he was writing to Ron and Hermione and none of them answered.

So Harry gets angry out of the house and walks along, until he bumps into his cousin Dudley and his friends. They were drinking and Harry had never drunk before. But he felt like an adult not a child anymore and he wanted to proof that, he ends up getting drunk for the first time with his cousin Dudley. Dudley in his drunk state, confesses that he misses Harry and that he wasn't very good to him. And Harry and Dudley drunk bonded for a bit until they got attacked by Dememtors.

Harry gets a trial for using a Patronus Charm in the presence of a muggle, like in the original timeline. But this time not only Mr. Weasley goes with him, but Remus and Sirius go as well. Some wizards use the opportunity to say that living with a "criminal" and a "beast" was corrupting Harry, but Dumbledore intervienes again and he is freed.

Sirius and Remus apologize to Harry and the rest of The Order tells him a bit of what's going on, even if Molly insisted he was "just a boy" like in the original books.

When Harry gets to Hogwarts and Umbrigde teaches there, Harry hates her even more. Because he knows she approved the law agaisnt werewolves rights. Harry has become so close to Uncle Remus (now he calls him that) over the summer so he wants to protect Remus like his father did. And Harry gets into much worse trouble with Umbridge because he relates with a "criminal and a beast".

The events of The Order of Phoenix are practically the same, except that Snape's Worse Memory doesn't affect Harry too much, because Sirius and Remus explain what happened that day and how James was a good man. Also they explain how his parents fell in love. So Harry doesn't doubt about that.

In the Battle of The Deparment of Mysteries, Sirius doesn't die. He gets seriously injured and gets in a state of comma. Harry and Remus are there for him, mostly everyday terrified of losing Sirius. "I can't lose him again, Harry" Remus confess with tears in his eyes. And Harry loves them even more. Sirius and Remus are family.

Sirius wakes up after weeks and he is perfectly fine. Remus and Sirius confess they are still pretty much in love with each other because before they were trying to be be friends and go slow.

Sirius and Remus are there for Harry for the rest of the books and participate in The Battle of Hogwarts. Both of them surviving. Sirius and Remus get married.

My point is that I get perhaps why Harry had to grow up with the Dursleys. Love blood protection and shit... But I think that when Remus and Sirius came into his life, they should've been Harry's parenting figures during the rest of the series. The reason why JKR killed Sirius is because she didn't want Harry having a supporting system when he had the possibility. And I don't understand why Harry always treated Remus like a professor when he had the possibility of being more, I mean he was right there!

So I am changing the canon :) And this works either if you ship Wolfstar or not. I mean Sirius and Remus can still be Harry's parents and Remus can still marry Tonks or whatever.

So yeah, that was pretty much it thank you.

[natequarter]

Ten Rules For Writing Tudor Fiction:

Henry VII should be depicted as a cruel miser who ruined the nobility with his Evil Taxes. Ignore any evidence that his marriage to Elizabeth of York was mutually loving and respectful; he should treat her with the utmost contempt, and she should be a passive victim. (Implications of incest are optional, but remember: if it's Henry VII and his mother, this is always bad; if it's Elizabeth of York and her uncle, this is clearly twu wuv.) If you simply wish to skip Henry VII's reign entirely, ignore all of the above. Twenty-four years, after all, is not a very long time.

Henry VIII should show signs of inherent evil and hold aspirations of becoming king from a young age. This is understandable, because Arthur should be portrayed as a frequently ill weakling. The loss of his mother should be a devastating blow to the young Henry. The loss of his father, however, should be treated as Henry finally escaping the influence of an abusive tyrant.

If possible, avoid mention of Henry VIII and Katherine of Aragon's marriage or any possibility that it was at any point loving. Twenty-four years, after all, is not a very long time—see Rule 1. Make sure to foreshadow their daughter burning heretics for good measure.

Any and all accusations made against Anne Boleyn should be accepted at face value. Ditto Katherine Howard. If you can infantilise and sexualise Katherine Howard at the same time, then even better.

At some point Henry VIII should go from being youthful, athletic, and handsome, and thus honourable, to fat, disgusting, and disabled, in other words evil. See Rule 2.

Protestantism is actually what the English population wanted all along, and medieval Catholicism is an entirely corrupt institution, except for Thomas More, who is a saint. Literally. Ignore any possibility that Protestants could also behave immorally—only Catholics are greedy hypocrites, and only Protestants can provide enlightenment or educate women. Except, again, for Thomas More.

Nobody wants to read a novel about Edward VI. If you must insist on mentioning him, make sure to focus on Thomas Seymour and sexualise his abuse of Elizabeth I. Don't forget that Edward was a sickly child and that John Dudley, much like his father and sons, was the source of all evil in the Tudor era. Also, make sure to portray Lady Jane Grey as viciously abused by her parents. That bit's vital.

Nobody wants to read a novel about Mary I either. Her efforts to restore Catholicism should be portrayed as wildly unpopular and doomed to failure. Make sure to skip most of her reign except for the unpopularity of her marriage to Philip, her failure as a woman, and her burning of heretics, unless you wish to be revisionist, in which case the horrific executions of hundreds of innocent people should be construed as feminist.

Now you can focus on Robert Dudley and Elizabeth I! Woohoo! This is the good bit, and all anyone cares about. Protestantism has finally been restored, for the good of England. Make sure to give them a torrid love affair (the earl of Essex works as an alternative once Robert Dudley is dead). Illegitimate children are also acceptable, no matter how unrealistic. Also make sure to throw in some patriotism and point out the embarrassing failures of Mary, Queen of Scots and the Spanish Armada. (See Rule 8 for more on Philip II.)

Shakespeare. Yep, Shakespeare. Make sure to chuck him in there somewhere. It's not Tudor England without Shakespeare, even though he's only relevant for a fraction of the period. Shakespeare, guys! What more do you need to know?

why does every period of history come with its own set of Outlandish Stereotypes which are exaggerated to extents you wouldn't believe possible in the historical fiction set in that era? why can't we have nice things

[fangirling-is-my-passion]

🎃 Halloween Special 🎃 (Draco Malfoy x Reader)

Warnings: none, according to me

Summary: It’s your fifth year at Hogwarts and you decide to change things up a little bit by making a mix between muggle and magical traditions in Halloween.

A/N: Hellooooo, lovelies! I know it's been ages since the last time I posted any of my writings, but I got this idea the other day and I just couldn't let it die in my drafts. It's my first time writing for Draco, so if there's any mistake or stuff way too out of character, please, have mercy on me... 😔🙏 I love you and I really hope you enjoy it! Happy Halloween! :) <3

October was finally coming to its end and Halloween was just around the corner, so everybody's excitement was palpable. The Halloween celebration at Hogwarts was one of the most expected by the students and you were definitely not the exception, nonetheless, after already four years of spending the holiday the wizard style, you were kind of starting to miss the muggle celebrations you were so used to when you were only a child.

You missed the costumes so much. Everything was really cool, but why didn't wizards dress up for Halloween? I mean, can you imagine the possibilities?

And so your idea was born: A Halloween celebration in Hogsmeade with your friends and anybody else who wanted to join, but with costumes, like muggles did. It was going to be a little bit of a mix between the two worlds. And it was going to be fantastic.

"Guys, guys, guys, guys, guys!" you said excitedly on Monday morning, sitting at the Gryffindor table in a rush, "I was thinking, why don't we throw a costume party in Hogsmeade the night of Halloween? It could even be at the Three Broomsticks, if we ask for permission, of course, I gotta check that, but, a costume party! What do you think?"

"You mean like the muggle tradition?" asked Hermione.

"Yes! Exactly! I actually don't quite understand why wizards don't dress up for Halloween, but whatever. I think this would be great!"

"Of course, sounds amazing, (Y/N)! But we gotta plan it very well, so I'll help you with the organisation," said Hermione with a lopsided smile.

"Well, sounds like fun, so count me in," said Ron, "By the way, (Y/N), can you pass me the sausages, please?"

"Sure, there you go..."

"I'm definitely in too. It would be my first time dressing up for Halloween, so I wouldn't miss it for the world," Harry added, "Dudley was the one who went trick-or-treating every year; meanwhile I stayed at home, either inside the cupboard or doing whatever chores my aunt could come up with."

"Blimey, Harry, that sucks..." Ron commented before placing another sausage on his plate, which was already brimming with food. Harry simply shrugged.

"Erm, well, great then! I think..." you paused for a second and then added," Let's tell everybody else!"

"Who are you planning to invite?" Hermione questioned; she was definitely taking this organisation thing very seriously.

"I was thinking of simply spreading the word, so anybody who wants to can join."

"Oh, all right. That sounds fine," she said, although she didn't sound entirely convinced.

"Are you going to invite your boyfriend then?" Ron inquired with a sly look on his face.

"Oh, he's not my boyfriend! We're just... acquaintances... who hated each other in the past... but not anymore..."

He referred to no other than Draco Malfoy, the so called Slytherin Prince. At the very beginning of your Hogwarts days, you honestly couldn't stand each other, with all his arrogance and his superiority complex, however, at some point and for some strange and unknown reason to you, he stopped being an utter arsehole, your mutual teasing became more of an inside joke than actual bullying and you kinda started getting along. At least you were able to be in the same room without trying to hex one another.

"Yeaaah, of course, and who also study together in the library..." Ron continued.

"That happened one time!" you exclaimed, a flush creeping across your cheeks, "Or was it twice?"

"Twice" Harry and Ron answered in unison.

"Actually," Hermione interrupted, "it happened three times if we count the one where they had to work on the potions project together."

"But that does not count! It was a project! We had to!"

"Mmmmm, it counts because you chose to work together" she explained, a sly tone in her voice.

"That was just because he's the only Slytherin I've had an actual, relatively decent interaction with... Seriously, Hermione? That's not even the point here, guys, let's focus. And yes," you said making emphasis en the 'yes', "I am going to invite him, 'cause, why not? He's probably going to instantly reject the idea anyways, you know how he is." You crossed your arms over the table and took a deep breath.

"Wow", said Ron, "I can't believe you actually said all that without pausing to breathe. However," he said emphasising that last word," I'm telling you, (Y/N), you're gonna end up together. But if you're so sure of the contrary, let's make a bet."

"What?"

"Yes, whoever loses will have to do the winner's homework for a week." Ron smirked.

"A week! Are you nuts?" you exclaimed.

"Well, you have nothing to worry about... Unless you do think you're gonna end up being Malfoy's girlfriend..." His smirk widened and your cheeks went a little pinker than they already were.

"All right, fine. It's settled then. I only hope you're ready to do all my homework for a week, Ronald Weasley."

"We'll see about that."

After a busy and tiring week trying to plan an amazing Halloween party at the same time as doing all your class work, Saturday had finally arrived and everybody was filled with excitement. The news of your party had spread like wildfire and soon you and Hermione had to recalculate the supplies you'd need in order to have enough for every single person who wanted to drop by.

Also, you'd indeed told Draco about the party, nonetheless, just as you thought it would be, he didn't seem very excited about the whole idea... Well, yeah, he might have implied that he would never in his right mind attend a muggle celebration like that and that you were nuts to think of the possibility, however!, he didn't really, explicitly say no, so you'd taken his response as a maybe and still hoped he'd go for at least a little while (wait, why were you hoping that? It's not like you cared that much about him attending or not... Right?)

Since you'd been very busy with all the planning, you'd started working on your costume a little bit late, but you were very satisfied with the result: you were going to be Medusa. I mean, she's iconic! Being able to turn people into stone if they look you in the eye? Wicked! (At some point Harry made a joke comparing Medusa to a basilisk, and I mean, sure, but to be honest he really had to work on his humour). You'd even enchanted a diadem with snakes so they moved like they were alive! (Because, come on, you were committed to this holiday, but let's be sensible, you weren't going to wear actual snakes on your hair, there are levels).

The point is that, like everyone else, you were incredibly excited about your party. And also a bit nervous, you didn't want to screw something up, but you also knew not everything could be perfect and what mattered most was that everybody had fun.

"(Y/N)! Are you ready? We gotta get going!" Hermione called from outside the bathroom of your dormitory. You opened the door and stepped out, ready to rock and roll.

"So? How do I look?" you asked, twirling so she could take a look of your whole costume.

"Intimidatingly gorgeous."

"Oww! Thank you! Wait," you said now focusing on Hermione's costume," what are you wearing? No, no, not that, forget that, but why didn't you tell me you were going to be greek goddess, Hermione?"

"For your information, I am Athena," she said and imitated your twirl, "and I wanted it to be a surprise, I kind of got the idea thanks to you, when you told me you were going to be Medusa."

"Well, yeah... It's perfectly okay, but I would've liked to know before! Also, dressing up as specifically Athena is so you, Hermione, and you look gorgeous, seriously, I'm in love with you. Draco Malfoy who?"

"Is that a confession?" questioned Hermione with a sly smile.

"It's a joke" you clarified rolling your eyes but with a lopsided smile on your face.

"Yeah, sure, truly convincing," your friend said with sarcasm "Anyways, we gotta go now, come on!"

And off you went. You met Harry and Ron in the Gryffindor common room (Harry had dressed up as a Gryffindor quidditch player who'd been hit in the head by a bludger, and Ron was simply wearing a Chudley Cannons uniform. Boy, if these guys were obsessed with quidditch...) and the four of you headed happily towards the entrance of the castle, where all the students gathered before going to Hogsmeade. In your way there you were able to see a lot of different costumes from the students who were attending your party and you were deeply amused (and amazed) by they're creativity. Wizards should definitely do this more often.

When you finally arrived to the Three Broomsticks, you found the entire place decorated just as you'd imagined, and Madam Rosmerta (whom you'd previously sent a letter asking for her permission to use the place for your party in exchange of a reasonable amount of money, and she very kindly had agreed and even offered to help you with the organisation and setting the ambience too) was just applying the final touches.

"Oh, hello, dears!" she greeted you with a smile; she really was a very beautiful woman, no wonder why Ron and many other students fancied her, "So? What do you think? Is it like you imagined?"

"It definitely is!" you exclaimed looking around the place in awe, "It's truly fantastic, thank you so, so much! Now all we got to do is wait for everybody else to arrive!"

It didn't take too long before the first group of students entered the place, only a couple of minutes after the time of the appointment, and from then on, people just kept flooding the pub.

"All right, guys!" you shouted over the murmurs of the crowd so everybody could hear you and be quiet while you spoke, "Here's what we've got: You are allowed to order two butterbeers free of charge, however, if you want more you'll have to pay them yourselves. Now, there's relatively decent food on that table," you pointed to the table on the corner at your left side," and in that other table next to the entrance you will find a bunch of various sweets that are definitely unhealthy if eaten in excess, so, please, don't get too excited, people," the multitude before you chuckled and you smiled widely," Also, dear Colin here offered to take pictures of whoever asked him to, so if you want one, just let him now... Ah! And I almost forgot, there will be a costume contest at the end, so be sure to write your name down on the scroll that's on that wall,"you said and pointed to the wall opposite to you," if you want to participate. I think that's all for now, so enjoy the party, and Happy Halloween, everybody!"

The crowd cheered and applauded you before returning to their chatting or heading straight to where the food was. You walked towards the bar to tell something to Madam Rosmerta and soon some upbeat Halloween-themed music started playing. At some point, a few students took a corner of the place as improvised dance floor and, frankly, everything was even better than how you'd pictured it at first. And that was saying something.

"Amazing party, (Y/N)! You should totally do this more often!" cheered Fred and George Weasley about and hour after the beginning of the party. They'd dressed up as some quite creepy zombie conjoint twins and you thought it was brilliant.

"Thank you, guys! I'm glad you're having fun!" you shouted over the music, "By the way, I think your costume is brilliant, suits you perfectly!"

"Thanks! Hope it's enough to win that costume contest of yours, but being honest, there's a lot of competition here," Fred replied.

"Yeah, I mean, just look at your costume! You look fantastic!" George continued.

"Oww, well, luckily for you, I'm going to be a judge, so I'm not participating..."

The conversation went on for a couple more minutes until Lee Jordan called the twins to the dance floor.

Although the party was an absolute hit, you couldn't help but think about a certain someone who wasn't there.

"You look a bit disappointed," said Hermione from behind you, making you jump a bit, "Thinking about somebody who didn't come, perhaps?"

Sometimes it was truly scary how Hermione could know so much.

"What? No! What are you talking about?" you asked trying to brush the topic off.

"Will you please stop trying to deny your feelings, (Y/N)?" Hermione crossed her arms over her chest. "Look, it's pretty obvious that Malfoy isn't indifferent to you and, to be fair, I don't really mind! I mean, he's been a lot less annoying since you two started to get along a little better, so go ahead if you fancy him!"

"But what if I don't want to fancy him, Hermione?" you exclaimed finally giving in, "He was pretty awful to us in our first years and, yes, maybe we get along now, and he's been a lot better but... I just... I don't know! I guess I feel a bit guilty about it... Besides,he can still be considerably rude sometimes towards people and, even if we left that aside, what makes you think that he could possibly fancy me? I mean, come on, he didn't even come! And I don't... I don't want to be all head over heels for him or anything, and that's also the reason why I keep denying it! If I talk about it, it becomes more real, so maybe if I simply ignore it, my feelings will go away soon enough!"

Luckily for you, you were wearing your green Medusa makeup, otherwise Hermione would have been able to see your cheeks turn bright red.

"Okay, I understand that..." she said, "But I think you got something wrong there, (Y/N), he did come..."

"What?!"

"He just arrived, look, there he is! It's like you invoked him" You turned to look were Hermione had her eyes fixed. And, of course, she was right, there he was. Looking quite dreamy, but you shouldn't think about that, should you? "I'd give you my whole pep talk, but there's no time, you've got more important things to take care of right now. Just, I don't know, let it flow, okay?... But go on, then! Go with him!" she hurried you. You did as you were told and walked towards him changing your mood instantly and pretending that the previous conversation with Hermione had never happened. Just act normal, you thought.

"So you came!" you greeted him once you'd reached him.

"I did," Draco asserted, "Medusa, huh?" he said looking at you up and down with a raised eyebrow and... was that the spirit of a smirk? Once more your makeup helped you hide your blushing and you tried to act like there weren't some butterflies fluttering in your stomach.

...Ugh, this was exactly why you didn't want to admit you fancied him in the first place!

"Indeed," you replied smirking, "And a vampire, eh? Pretty simple if I'm honest, but you look good."

"I always look good, (Y/L/N), but if I'm honest," he said imitating your tone, "you look pretty good too."

"I always look good, Malfoy."

You explained him what you'd told the crowd at the beginning of the party and he decided to order a butterbeer. Then the conversation between the two of you simply kept on going without much difficulty; for some strange reason the fact that you had feelings for him and yet apparently not a single thing in common with him didn't affect your communication.

"All right, but this is insane," he said at some point, " how did you manage to pull this off? I mean, it must have cost you quite a fortune..."

"Well, I did get help from my friends with the budget, but, yes, I had to negotiate with my parents and trade my Christmas and birthday presents of the next year for some money to do this right."

"You're bloody insane..."

"I think you made that pretty clear when I first invited you to come, and yet here you are," you said with sufficiency, "so I guess I'm not the only one here who's gone a bit nuts."

He huffed and took another sip of his butterbeer. In that moment, Ginny Weasley, Parvati Patil and Hermione, who were currently dancing among a bunch of other students, called you and gestured at you to go dance with them. You nodded and turned to Draco in order to tell him that he could stay there while you danced for a while, but before you could articulate anything he said:

"No way you're leaving me here, you're the only person I can actually interact with in a mildly pacific way, so I'm sticking with you."

"Okay... But you're gonna have to dance, then."

"And you think am not qualified for the task?" he asked with his usual smirk.

"Are you really always such a showoff?"

"Only when I'm trying to impress somebody," that answer definitely took you by surprise, but you didn't have the chance to say anything, 'cause he added, "Go on, then, they're waiting for you. I'll go right behind."

And so you danced with your friends. And he danced. And you two danced together. And it was pretty unbelievable for everyone, including you, but nobody seemed to mind since they had never seen Draco in such an unproblematic mood.

A couple of hours later, the costume contest finally took place. The prize for the winner was a special package of sweets you'd prepared plus five galleons... Yeaaah, you'd definitely put a lot of effort in the planning of your party, and it had been completely worth it so far.

All the participants formed a line so each one could walk around showing their costume just as if it were a fashion runway. Meanwhile, you were arranging the seats for the judges. And, as a matter of fact, you had one judge missing. Your intention at first had been that there were four judges in the panel, nonetheless, since both Harry and Ron had declined the offer because they wanted to participate, you were only three: Madam Rosmerta, Hermione and yourself. And all the people you trusted also wanted to take part in it, so it seemed that you'd have to settle with only three judges. Unless...

"Hey, Draco!" Wait, since when did you address him by his first name? Oooh, this was getting out of control... You shouldn't have said anything!

"What is it?" he asked from the seat he had taken at some nearby table, just like all the other students who wouldn't take part in the contest, and were happy to simply watch, had done.

"Well, I was wondering..." you began doubtfully, "if you would like to be a judge too?"

"Me? A judge?" He frowned. "Why?"

"Because I wanted there to be four, but I've got one missing. And I think you'd make a fair judge, as long as you keep your good mood and you're not rude to our contestants... So?" you said bitting your lip.

"Erm, all right. Can't promise I won't be tough on them, though" there was that smirk again.

"Oh, shut up," you said playfully," You can be tough, just not rude. There's a difference."

And so the contest began.

An hour flew by and sooner than you'd expected, you found yourself deliberating with your three judges on whose costume was the best. A task which was pretty hard to do. Harder than you'd expected, actually.

At the moment, you had managed to leave only three finalists, each one provided by one of your fellow judges, and you were the one with the final word. The problem was that you couldn't make up your mind.

"I'm telling you!" Hermione insisted, "Harry's costume should win! It's creative and original and very thorough!"

"Granger, you're only saying that because he's your friend," intervened Draco," but come on! That kid with the Dementor costume? He is literally floating! And he's like in second grade or so! I really think he's the one who should win."

"Well, he definitely portrays a dementor better than you did in third year..." the girl countered.

"All right, guys, don't fight, we gotta make a decision quickly and you're getting on my nerves. Yes, both of you..."

"I still say that those Weasley twins are a lot of fun... They should win if you ask me," Madam Rosmerta mentioned, already losing interest in the matter; looking at three teenagers argue over a costume contest wasn't exactly her definition of "fun".

"Yeah, but they're costume is not as complex as Harry's, (Y/N)!" Hermione reiterated.

"But Potter is not floating, now, is he?" Draco retorted.

"Merlin's beard, you guys! Will you both please shut up?" you scolded, "If I'm completely honest, I wouldn't even consider any of them as my first option, I would choose Padma Patil!" you paused for a second thinking what to say next to state your point, "I mean, she dressed up as Celestina Warbeck! Are you joking? That's bloody brilliant if you ask me! And not only that but she brought Lavender, Parvati and that other girl whose name I don't remember at the moment as her Banshees! Come on! Creative, original... Besides, look at her dress! It looks pretty thorough to me! And yeah, she may not be floating," you added turning to Draco," but she's enchanted her necklace to play 'You stole my cauldron but you can't have my heart' to look like she's actually singing!"

There were a couple of seconds of silence, until Draco decided to break it.

"Then why on earth didn't you say that from the very beginning, (Y/L/N)?"

"Because you were so determined to say who you thought should win that I didn't want to cause more trouble with the decision!"

"Well, as a matter of fact, it makes it a lot easier for me," said Madam Rosmerta, "that girl and her friends were my second option. I simply love Celestina Warbeck."

"She was my third option, so I guess I don't mind," Draco stated shrugging and then leaned back on his chair.

You looked at Hermione.

"Well, yeah... She wasn't in my top three, but it's fine for me", she didn't sound entirely convinced, but it was enough.

"Okay, then..." you said finally, a little surprised by the result, yet satisfied," Brilliant! Then we've got our winner!"

The four of you stood up; Hermione, Draco and you walked to the center of the improvised runway while Madam Rosmerta simply returned to the back of the bar, clearly not wanting to take part in the decision-making of some fifteen-year-olds anymore.

"So, before we announce our winner, I wanted to say something," you began, "As you can see, it was quite difficult for us to make a decision, because all of your costumes are amazing. I truly think so! You're so creative and fun, and believe me when I say that if I had a larger budget I'd probably give prizes to all of you," you chuckled softly, " unfortunately, it isn't the case, so we had to choose only one... Are you ready to know who won?"

The multitude shouted a very enthusiastic "Yes" as response.

"All right, then... Padma Patil, congratulations, you and your Banshees are the winners!"

There were cheers, applause and a few disappointed sighs, but everybody seemed to be as satisfied with the decision as you. You gave the four girls their prize and the music started playing once more. However, the party was coming to its end and a lot of people were already saying their goodbyes and leaving. Therefore, before anything else could happen, you grabbed Draco's arm and dragged him all the way to where Colin Creevy was taking a few pictures of some third year students.

"What are you doing?"

"We're gonna take some pictures," you stated, "I've already got a few with Harry, Ron and Hermione, but since you arrived late..."

He didn't even get the chance to protest, because in that moment the third year students left and you dragged him once more to the spot where they'd been posing.

"What the... What am I supposed to do?" he inquired with a slight note of panic in his voice.

"Dunno, just think of cool poses! We've got two shots, so think fast!"

Your first shot was of you two in an average pose, you know, just smiling, you leaning on his shoulder, his arm around your waist and the butterflies in your stomach going a bit crazier about it.

"What now?!"

"I don't know! It's not like I'm used to doing this!" he exclaimed.

"I thought you were Draco bloody Malfoy, aren't you known enough to get a lot of pictures? You should be used to it!"

"I don't get a lot of fun pictures with weird poses!"

"Well, think of something then!" Colin could do nothing but stare in amusement at your absurd argument, trying to suppress his laughter.

"You think of something!" Draco countered.

"Why am I the one who always has to think of everything? Use your brain, mister!"

And you'd barely finished your sentence when, without a warning and almost against any common sense left on both of you, Draco's lips crushed against yours, his hands grabbing the sides of your face eagerly. Only an instant later he pulled away and looked at you, with his usually pale cheeks coloured in a bright shade of pink and his moon-like eyes reflecting the panic of maybe having done something very wrong. However, he quickly intended to hide it:

"Was that a proper use of my brain, miss?

You were flabbergasted. Totally. The whole night had been utter madness for you since this boy arrived... But it wasn't a bad type of madness, you were delighted. You fancied him. And now you knew that it was mutual.

"Well... Sure... but why did you stop?" you murmured, just inches away from his face, and then smiled bitting your lip. You saw his whole face lighten up as he smiled broadly, just before leaning in to kiss you once more, this time more passionately and intensely than before. You could feel the cold touch of his family ring against the soft skin of your cheeks, contrasting with the warmth of his palms.

The camera flashed and that single incredible moment was captured forever in a picture that would last for a long, long time, kept in scrapbooks and family photo albums.

"Oh, crap..." you grumbled after you pulled away the second time.

"What's wrong?" Draco asked, his voice hoarse due to the kiss.

"Now I'm going to have to do Ronald's homework for a week!"