#except Craig doesn't get one

[shhh-secret-time]

We're back with another Soulmate AU request AND another request from AO3, they're so rare these days! I wanted to do something special for Craig, I kind of feel like he'd be a fuck destiny kinda guy. Anyway y'all know the drill.

Warning: Hot Pokemon takes, Strong-Language, Clyde being a dork again

Pairing: Craig x GN!Reader

Crack

"Hm.."

Snap

"Dude. Stop."

Pop

"Dude! Stop!"

Clyde's voice pulls Craig's gaze over, the bored expression on his face would normally make anyone flinch back but Clyde's used to the look. Years of friendship with the stoic man will desensitize anyone to that kind of look. Craig swears it's just because Clyde's an idiot, no one else in South Park takes that kind of tone with him.

"You sound like a glow-stick over there! I swear you've already popped all those fingers a minute ago, are you on your knuckles now or something?" Clyde puts his DS down on his lap with a grumble.

He's slouched so far down on Craig's couch it looks like he's melting into it, the lower half of his body is barely on the couch at all. He's all but holding himself up with his legs while his back rests on the firm cushions beneath him. He looked like a slinky being tossed down the stairs, but if it got stuck going down a step.

"You're in my house." Craig responded so matter of fact.

Then he finished cracking the hand he was in the middle of working on. He presses his thumb against each finger on his hand. Once each little finger makes that satisfying sound, he wraps his hand around the other and squeezes. His thumb and index finger settle just below the knuckles, feeling the muscles and bone shift under his grip a shiver runs down his spine.

"Gaaaaaah! That doesn't hurt you? You're gonna fuck up your hands man." Clyde physically squirms at the sound, twisting and rolling back and forth as if he's trying to escape the sound.

"No. I like it." Craig picks his DS up from his lap and continues playing on the little handheld device.

"Alright but when you have old grandpa hands at the age of twenty-five don't come crying to me. Spongebob broken finger head-ass." Clyde smirks, returning to the game with his friend.

Craig side eyes him, shooting a small glare his direction but it goes unnoticed. Once again, Clyde is lucky he's one of his best friends. Being stupid makes you brave apparently.

The two fall into a comfortable silence, the music from Clyde's DS playing loudly while Craig's is shut off. The sound of both games going on at once drove Craig mad. If the music didn't line up it felt like someone jabbing him in the head. So, he settled for listening to Clyde's, he knew the brown-haired man liked the Pokemon sound track anyway. A small tradition they started in middle school that's held up. Playing Pokemon next to each other on the weekends, if one got Green the other got Red. If one got Sapphire, the other got Ruby. Right now, Craig has Diamond, and he has Pearl.

Craig was no means a perfectionist, but something about the incomplete Pokedex drove him mad. He hated looking at the black silhouette of a Pokemon uncaught, the taunting ??? made him want to spike the thing into the ground. They would spend hours next to one another talking about their teams, racing to see who could beat the Elite Four before the other, making fun of each other's favorite Pokemon. Craig long since beat the game and was just waiting on Clyde to catch up, he was still waiting on Clyde to catch his Slowpoke like he promised him forever ago.

Clyde was a Slowpoke.

He chuckles at the thought making Clyde look up at him with his brow raised but he chooses not to say anything. After a while Craig closes his DS and chooses to watch Clyde walk around the tall grass.

"You're using the Scyther I traded you?" he asks, resting his cheek on top of Clyde's head. Holding himself up right now sounded exhausting, Clyde made the perfect head rest. Even if he wasn't slumped down on the couch, their height difference allowed for it. To be fair Craig's height difference allowed him to do this to just about anyone. The only person he couldn't comfortably do this too would be Broflovski.

"Yeah! He’s my favorite! He's a handsome devil, reminds me of myself!" Clyde tucks his chin in between his index finger and his thumb, the smug smirk on his lips makes his face look stupid.

"Do you wanna evolve him? You can trade him over and we can turn him into a Scizor."

"Nah, then I'll lose all the affection I've been building him with! Look I've got two little hearts by his head! He loves me man!"

"You can build it back."

"Maybe you can toss away your Pokemon’s affection, but not me Tucker! He doesn't need to change! He's perfect the way he is!" Clyde exclaims as he throws his hand in the air.

Craig's about to respond but stops when Clyde encounters another Pokemon, a Pachirisu nothing out of the normal. But what was out of the normal was the stripe on its tail wasn't the typical baby blue, it was a bright pink. Craig's eyes widen as the sparkles swirl around the little animated creature.

And typical Clyde just button mashes through the whole thing, he's not paying attention to the DS, going on about his love for his Scyther. His thumb moves over the attack button and Craig wants to grab his hand to stop him. But once again he's not fast enough, and the low leveled thing is easily defeated by his level sixty something Pokemon.

"Um dude...you know I love hugs and all, but I thought you hated them?" Clyde's voice is muffled under Craig. Craig has him pinned under him against the couch, chest pressed into his side, arm outstretched to grab the DS.

"Dude! That was a shiny! You could have caught that!" Craig's exclaims shaking the man under him.

"What?! Oh man! I didn't know!"

"How the fuck didn't you know?! It sparkled! It's fucking pink!"

"Uh...was it?"

"What?" Craig stops shaking him at that, tightened fists around his collar loosen only slightly.

"I didn't know, you know I'm color-blind right?" Clyde takes the opportunity to sit up, he chuckles at Craig's expression.

Although rare, it's not unheard of. Craig isn't a robot, or a man born without emotions, he just has a hard time expressing them sometimes. Clyde knows that, but it's still funny every time he sees that crack in Craig's usual stoic nature. Even more so that it was over a stupid video game and Clyde's inability to see color.

So instead of responding to him Craig shakes his head and furrows his brows, confusion written clear on his face.

"Yeah man," Clyde takes a breath in between cackling. "I'm completely color blind, lost it when we were in high school. It's my soulmate thing. I see in black and white now." He waves his hand over his face with a dorky grin.

He doesn't respond at first, taking a moment to take in what his best friend was saying. "I just thought you dressed like that on purpose."

"Come on dude! Would it kill you to say something nice to me?! Just oNCE!?" Clyde smacks him with the cushion tucked behind him which Craig uses to beat him back.

After a brutal beat down using a couch cushion, Craig pulls back the weapon and looks down at the defeated pile of Donovan further pressed into his couch. He sits back with his leg pulled up towards his chest, arm thrown lazily across his knee.

"So, you can't see color because you haven't met your soulmate? That sounds rough."

"Yeah, it kinda sucks, it's gonna sound gay but I miss seeing things like the sunset and movies are kinda lame now. I still wear this jacket because at least I know it's red." Clyde collects himself and tries to fix his hair that's been flattened down.

"Hm." A low grunt and Craigs on his feet.

To anyone else it would be the end of the conversation, it would be their que to move on and talk about something else. But Clyde isn't just anyone. He's the guy who's been with Craig since they were kids, he knows that grunt. That shift in body language. Craig's uncomfortable but wants to say something.

"Come on Tucker Bear don't be like that, tell me what's going on." The nickname earns him a glare, but it stops the black haired man from going to the kitchen. He grins at him in return, telling Craig that he's getting what he wants.

"What have I told you about calling me that?"

"That you love it so much and you're so grateful that your best friend would give you the best nickname ever." The sentence is almost cut short from the way he scrambles back away from Craig, holding his hands up defensively. His voice is cracking from the way he tries to keep the giggle out of it.

Craig stops and sighs, his hands come up to the strings on the side of his hat. The frayed yellow rope splitting at the ends from how often he twists it between his fingertips. He does it when he needs to collect his thoughts, figure out a way to put them into words.

".... you didn't tell me you got your Soulmate thing." It finally comes out in a soft tone.

"Are you upset because I didn't tell you? I'm sorry man." Clyde's silly demeanor drops, quickly shifting to one that matches his friend’s tone. He stands up and follows him into the kitchen.

"No. I just..." A pause and he opens the fridge door. Scanning the inside for something to drink, his mouth is incredibly dry right now. "...didn't know. I thought you were like me."

"Like you?"

"Like...born without a mark or whatever."

"Oh."

That's all he can say, all that comes out of his mouth. Craig snaps the can of soda open and takes a sip and it feels like a rock settling in his stomach. His lips press together tasting the sugary drink on his lips. The rock in his stomach lurches up when he sees Clyde's eyes well up with tears, little beads of water spilling from his lids. For the second time that day, he makes Craig's eyes widen.

"Are you crying?"

He quickly goes to wipe the tears away from his brown eyes, the little orbs always looked like a baby cow's. Using the sleeves on his jacket, he sniffles and looks up at him. "It's just- you don't have a soulmate!"

"Yeah, I know."

"That's so sad dude!"

"I guess."

He sobs again, the tears spill faster and harder down his face. Craig sighs and gives into the over dramatic man an awkward pat on the back. The rest of the day was spent calming Clyde down and reassuring him that he wasn't actually angry at him for killing the shiny. They watch a few episodes of Red Racer where Craig describes the colors for him until he got tired of it.

All through the day the conversation gnawed at the back of his head. It followed him to bed and kept him from sleeping. Clyde refused to go home so he spent the night on the floor next to him. Didn't want to sleep on the couch but didn't want to sleep in the bed with him. Wanted to be near but not close enough to make Craig want to peel his skin off. He appreciated the idiot.

But it was that idiots fault he was thinking so hard on this. Why was he born without a soul-mate tic, or thing or whatever the fuck it was called. Were there others like him or was Craig Tucker really that just unlucky? Why did he care so much, he made it this far in life by himself. So why was it just now starting to eat at him?

With a huff he turned and rolled over towards the window next to his bed, staring up at the night sky. The moon was half full today, and it was cloudy out so he could barely see the stars. He was a grown man majoring in Astronomy, he didn't need a stupid mark to tell him where to go and who to be with. He could still see color fine. No flowers were blooming out of his face making his allergies act up.

No, it was just him. Just him and whatever was out there waiting for him. Right now, he really wanted it to be sleep.

Eventually he gave in to the tired behind his eyes, lids so heavy he couldn’t keep them open anymore but burned when he finally closed them. Clyde was gone the next morning when he finally woke up, he left him a text saying he was going to pick his sister up and do something with her.

It didn't matter he had class to get to anyway, the semester was in full swing, and he didn't have time to fall behind. As he gets ready, pulling his blue hat over his head and the matching NASA jacket over his shoulders, he peers down at his DS left on the side table. He picks it up and tucks it into the pockets of the jacket, in between classes he could wait in the lounge and play on it a little more. There wasn't much left to do but he could always grind his team to a hundred.

Once he feels ready, he steps out of his house and starts the walk to the bus stop. Ever since he moved out of his parents the walk to the college campus took a little longer than normal, so it was easier to just ride the bus there. He sticks his headphones in and settles in the worn-out seats of the dirty looking white bus. Somehow cleaner than the yellow ones from when he was still a teenager, but not by much. The music from his DS playing in his ears drowns out the sounds of people mumbling to themselves and whatever other weird thing South Park could throw at him.

It also drowns out your footsteps. Drowns out your question if the seat next to him was taken. So, it isn't until he feels you sitting next to him that he notices you're there. He side-eyes you for a moment, which you return with a little nod. A part of him is relieved when you don't immediately try to make small talk with him. Instead, you offer him a little smile and go back to the book in your hand. His amber eyes travel down to peek at what it is you're reading, and he's surprised when instead of a textbook he sees a comic.

Guardians of the Galaxy

From the angle you were holding it, he couldn't tell exactly what issue you were on, but the cover looked good. He cocks his head to the side a little to get a better look. Feeling his eyes on you, you look up at him and raise a brow. It takes a second, but you piece together what he's trying to do so you close the comic and show it off to him.

You're on an issue he's already read through. He removes the headphones from his ear.

"I didn't think anyone else read the Guardians series." Craig says, it's out of pocket for him to be the first to initiate but the thought of meeting someone who's a fan like him is actually exciting. It's enough to pull him out of his little mental funk.

"Yeah! I just started collecting these issues last week! Have you read this series?" You say with a smile that’s a little too bright for him.

He nods again at you, and that's where the conversation should have ended. You go back to your reading, and he goes back to his game. But it doesn't, you lean over and catch a glimpse at what he's playing. He watches the recognition sparkle up in your eyes.

"Oh, which one is that? Gen four, right?"

"Yeah. It's Diamond."

"Oh! Cool! I've got Platinum! I gotta default to the third one because I don't have friends who play the game!" You laugh at your own joke, eyes going from the DS to his.

Craig stares down at you for a while. He sets the DS in his lap and pushes the palm of his hand against his fingers. Hands popping and snapping again, the little tic making him relax. You don't comment like Clyde does, but you are still talking.

"Gen four has to be my favorite in the series! I just couldn't get into Black and White!" That makes him stop and look at you like you're crazy.

"That's the best one in the series though."

"That's what everyone tells me, but I hated the starters!"

Time slips past him, the way you pull him into the conversation so naturally. It isn't until the bus pulls up to the campus that he realizes he's been talking to you the entire time. You perk up when the bus lets out a sigh and a hiss, telling its passengers that they've reached their destination.

"Oh, this is my stop! Hey, it was awesome talking with you!" You grin and stand up, slinging your bag over your shoulder.

You give him a little finger salute and take off, you're so quick to scurry away he doesn't have time to tell you that this is his stop too. Of course he's never noticed you around campus before, Craig was never one to waste his energy on things that didn't require it. He had his select group of friends and was happy with that, but now here you were wedging your way into his mind. As he stands up to get off the bus, lazily throwing the headphones over his neck, it dawns on him that he didn't even catch your name.

Oh well, so much for that. Maybe he'd see you around.

The universe must have answered that for him because the next morning he sees you on the bus again. He watches as you push past the isle of seats and plop down next to him with another book in your hand. A different issue, a different conversation. There are days where you sit in silence doing your own thing. Then there are days where you talk his ear off and he just sits and listens, occasionally throwing in his thoughts on whatever you're talking about.

But he listens. That was new, normally he just tends to zone out if he doesn't care. Somehow you find a way to make him care, a way to make him invested in the conversation. He even goes out of his way to learn your name and what you're studying.

"Ah it's just general studies right now, a little bit of everything until I figure out what I wanna do. I wasn't even planning on going to college, it just kinda happened." You tell him leaning back in your seat.

"What, so you just woke up one day and decided that was it?" Craig scoffs a bit at the idea but the amused glint in his eyes doesn't go unnoticed by you.

"Heh. Well Mr. Space-boy not all of us know what we wanna do with life from the womb." You snicker at his reaction, tallying another eyeroll in your head.

"It's Space-Man. I'm Space-Man Craig." He corrects you before moving on, so you don't comment on the little pink hue on his face. "I get that but how do you go from I'm not going to college, to just doing it?"

You smile, it's different than the dorky one you usually shoot at him or the one when you tell a bad joke. It almost seems sad. He can't put his finger on it, but he doesn't need to wait long for you to roll up your sleeve. On your wrist is a font that looks almost like an alarm clock, the block black ink reads "0:00".

"Had this guy I was with. Was with him for six years, we were high-school sweethearts, prom date, whole nine yards. They were my soulmate, the little counter on my wrist told me that much." You take a deep breath, and he watches the way your fingers move across the skin.

He pops his fingers again, pushing them against each other.

"Well, about a year ago I realized...I kinda hated it? Hated the fact this stupid mark on my body got to dictate who I fell in love with? I mean we didn't even have anything in common, and while we never really argued we just had a different outlook on life. I think a part of me still loves him, but...I can't really love him in the way this thing wants me to." You emphasize that you're talking about the marking on your skin by holding it up.

Little rays of sunlight brush across your skin and Craig can't help but follow it. You had a soulmate, of course you did. He feels that rock in his stomach again, weighing heavier than it did last time. The week he got where he wasn't thinking about this whole thing was nice, but now that he's reminded his body tenses back up.

He cracks his fingers again, squeezing the side of the palm.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to trauma dump on you." He raises a brow at you silently asking you what you mean by that. "Call it a sixth sense, or the fact that you pop your fingers and do that little Hm when you're thinking about something. So, I figured you were annoyed by the random dump."

You were more attentive than he would have given you credit for. He hasn't known you that long and you're already picking up on things that took Clyde years to. Then again, Clyde and attentive don't really go hand in hand.

"No, it's not you. It's the..." He rolls his wrist a few times trying to find the words, fingers eventually find purchase on the strings of his hat dangling by his face. "Soul-mate thing. I don't have one."

"Ah yeah, I can see how that's a weird topic for you then! But hey that's kind of cool!" You beam up at him, the sunlight slips off your wrists and onto your lips.

Wait, what?

"You get to pick who you wanna love, that's awesome. That means the connection goes deeper! You gotta build something with someone, nothing telling you to just jump straight into a relationship! No pressure, just you and the other person!" Your eyes are like little stars as you speak. A tiny galaxy that he can't seem to pull himself out of.

Wait, what?

Like clockwork, the bus stops and you go to get up. Except this time Craig is fast enough, he takes your hand. His fingers slip into your palm and stop you from moving. Your finger salute falls back to your side. He just looks at you for a while, the only thing he can hear right now is the collection of people getting off the bus and his own heartbeat drumming in his chest.

"If you're not getting off, I need you to sit down please!" The bus driver makes you flinch and sit back down next to Craig.

"Sorry sir!" You call back.

When you look back at him with a confused look, he freezes again. His mouth hangs open for a second, only to close. He almost looks like a fish out of water from the way he's trying to collect his thoughts. Craig expects you to get back up and tell him goodbye. To run off the bus and never speak to him again.

Instead, you sit there, patiently waiting for him to collect himself. You wait there even when the door to the bus shuts and the engine kicks back on. You look at him with wonder and he has to avert his gaze from you. Pulling his hat over his eyes for a moment because he realizes he's still holding your hand and the heat coming up to his face is too much.

"I... I’m sorry. I just wanted to-" What did he want? His mind was drawing a blank, he was floating and the only teather was your hand in his.

He knew he wanted to keep holding your hand. He knows your touch doesn't bother him like it should. He wants to steal a few more moments with you because these bus rides aren't enough time. Something he's never felt before.

"You're good. Take your time." You can't know what that means to him to hear you say that. To not pull your hand away and call him a freak for just grabbing you like that. Instead, you turn your palm over and give his hand a squeeze back.

"I want to...do that." He says it. With his eyes covered so he's not blinded by that smile on your face. He can hear it in your voice, the way you chuckle.

"Do what?"

"You know what I'm trying to say."

"Maybe. You better say it just so I can be sure." You're teasing him now, leaning forward so you can get a peek at his blushing face.

Craig huffs again, frustration building up in his chest. He moves the hat from his face and stares you down like a showdown. His brows knitted together with newfound determination.

"I want to build a connection past this." There. It's out. Out in the open, out in the space between the both of you. Confession falls from his mouth in that monotone voice he's so famous for.

"Hell yeah. I'd like that Space-Man Craig." You laugh and it sounds so sweet.

He smiles down at you, and it feels like a gift. It's the first time you've seen him look at you like that. You make a silent promise to yourself that it will not be the last time you see it.

"So, any idea where the bus is going now?"

"No idea. Wanna get off at the next stop and walk to campus?"

"Nope! You stopped me from going to class so now you're taking me out. I want food!"

Craig scoffs at you and takes the headphones off his neck, he offers you the other bud. He sticks the one in his ear and pulls out his phone. His fingers slide across the screen going for the music app. He hands you the phone and gestures for you to pick something.

You excitedly take him up on the offer, sticking the bud in your ear. You begin going on about whatever album you’ve been listening to, and the whole ride he sits and listens to you. Nodding along so you know he’s listening, not that he really has to. You can tell from the way he looks at you that you have his undivided attention.

So wrapped up in the music and your voice he doesn’t even notice the font on your wrist change. It’s not that boring clock anymore, it shifts and swirls around. A moving tattoo that eventually turns into a painting melting down your arm. The deep darkness of space with a little astronaut sitting on the moon, just watching the sun.

[kianamaiart]

If/when you get picked up by a studio, would the age rating change? This was probably just me but the cursing felt kinda out of place, it'd be easy to aim it towards a younger audience! Especially since the genre is supposed to be for kids (with some exceptions) and it'd be cool to have more kid shows with a POC as the main character to show my kids!

I'd probably keep it the same if I could (YA/PG13). This concept could be aged up or down as needed but I'd also hate to censor or limit myself in the things I'd wanna explore.

And while the pilot isn't anything crazy and doesn't feel super adult from the jump, I felt like it was important to establish it as something that isn't for kids. Like beyond language, this the concept is pretty violent by nature. Aika with a gun was literally one of the first things I drew when I came up with the idea and that would absolutely not fly in a kids cartoon LOL.

DanDaDan/MHA/Dungeon Meshi are modern examples I feel have a similar audience and age range I'm trying to appeal to. Not too crass and TOO adult but also not something that 10 year olds should really be watching. If I could get away with an Avatar situation that'd be dope but that's a REALLY hard sell nowadays.

I know people are torn on the swearing but I personally think it can be funny when used correctly. High schoolers swear a lot and as someone who currently works in children's television, it always feels just a bit cringe when we have to water down teen speech and slang. It feels stilted, out of place and out of touch. Also being able to actually say "oh my god" and other minor swears/stronger language like "crap" or even "frick" is so huge and opens things up for more natural sounding dialogue. Like having a person getting wailed on but then having to be like "oh my goodness, what the heck are you doing?" just does not hit the same haha

I agree there should be more POC lead children's shows and we're getting them! Your kids will get to have Proud Family Louder and Prouder, Amphibia, Owl House, Craig of the Creek, StuGo, Iyanu and many others to come~

[mmxxviii]

okay i don't know how wild of a take this is, but hear me out.

cassandra is not the god. kristen is.

now, in terms of game mechanics, that's not true. cassandra is very clearly a god, and kristen is her cleric and follower. kristen gets her powers from cassandra, cassandra gets worship from kristen (and presumably other people who kristen is recruiting).

but that's not how their relationship works.

gods also get power from their followers, you know? they get power from the worship they receive. except kristen isn't really doing a lot of worshipping right now. but you know who is? cassandra. she is begging, praying, for kristen to talk to her, to take time out of her day and all her responsibilities, to listen to the person that has put their faith in her. as much as kristen has faith in cassandra (even if she isn't actively recognizing it), cassandra has faith in kristen.

You don't have to be sorry. Hey, not too many people believe in me, but I believe in you. You brought me back, and I know you've been having a hard time, but when you're in the dark, I'm there holding your hand, okay?

in the last couple episodes, we've seen a lot about how kristen (and maybe craig) are the only ones keeping cassandra from oblivion. normally, it would be well within a god's power to strike down, to smite, anyone they wished, including one of their own followers. but if cassandra hurts kristen, she dies. meanwhile, kristen holds a very god-like power in her hands. she's already killed one god by rescinding her worship. she could very easily kill cassandra.

I see what you're saying. Yes, we are holding you from oblivion, and we're just kinda not doing a very good job right now. That's what you're kinda trying to tell me.

gods are busy. they try to listen to prayers, but they're so very busy and important. all cassandra has right now is kristen. that is her sole focus (aside from maybe not dying). kristen is busy. she ignores cassandra. cassandra texts kristen's friends to try and get kristen to talk to her. in that first episode or two, cassandra is desperate to be heard, to have a conversation, and kristen, who holds all the power, keeps shutting her down.

20 texts in a row saying, "Is Kristen mad at me?" From a goddess.

it isn't that kristen doesn't care. of course she does. gods always care. but her domain is mystery and doubt. she doesn't have all the answers. she isn't omnipotent. she is a teenager who has been thrust from clericdom to sainthood to godhood and she doesn't even know it.

kristen isn't the one bleeding red light. cassandra is.

if you're a cleric, and you let your god die, that's a failure. if you're a god and you let your cleric die, what is that?

[starberry-cupcake]

Here we are again!! Let's get to it!!

previously, in noni del 9:

this happened

this is the tag for all tlt recaps

I'm loving that many of you are adopting the "está en un cumple" phrase, living for that

CHAPTER 4 (seventh house skull 👀)

it's another day in this planet and everyone's up for their routines

they all travel together, then pyrrha goes on her way to work

camolive go on their way to do what they do

undetermined what it is they do, to nona's pov

camilla can do whatever she wants, though

you go queen

and nona goes to school for her unpaid job of assistant

when she gets there, kevin is playing with plushies

we love kevin

and hot sauce is staring out the window in suspicion like this

how many cartoons with eccentric kids in school can I use to illustrate? we'll see, I have a lot to pick from

anyway, apparently there's people watching from another building

0 discreet, if kids are spotting them

this, coupled with the seventh skull, gives me ideas

so nona asks if they're watching her, to which hot sauce goes "why would they?"

nona says she doesn't know

not sure if she says this because she's in a cumple, as previously established, or because she doesn't want to give too much away to hot sauce

who seems to have all the brain cells of the school

hot sauce is on the case, though, and says she'll investigate

but has to delegate that to nona during science class, because nona has dog privileges and can go outside to the blasting heat to see if something happens

today was the first pool day of the summer for me, so I feel that and thank her for her service, because heat is terrible

also, the science teacher, aka the angel, comes in looking as worse for wear as daniel craig in the majority of the movie queer

here everyone has weird names

except for kevin

we love kevin

you know, that might be why I'm having trouble with this one, I feel like I'm not in my element enough in these recaps

because everyone has weird names already and I can't do my bit

I'm failing you, I'm sorry

my power is wasting away

so, anyway, the teacher is not looking good and nona thinks maybe it's a hangover but hot sauce says the teacher doesn't drink

nobody questions her knowledge

ever

are they torturing the teacher for information on nona????

have they been spotted????

also, everyone says nona isn't pretty and nona insists on her being pretty, which makes me feel like this is gideon in harrow's body, but who knows

it'd definitely be fun if she is and has to own up on all the times she's said she's beautiful and kissed her in the mirror and whatnot

camilla wrote like 6 pages about that, which harrow should read, if that's the case

the only thing nona sees on her stakeout is a person who she thinks might be a dead body, because they're very still

but decides they aren't, because their nice clothes weren't stolen from them

I'd think the exact same thing, that's sound judgment imo

and the person isn't there when they leave, so that's disquieting

a worse thing than a sus person is not knowing where the sus person went

CHAPTER 5 (nine house skull!!! everyone stay calm!!!!)

nona and camolive go back to their apartment

I'm picturing something between the infinity fortress from getbackers or the heaven's arena from hunterxhunter

(camilla would kick absolute ass in both of these)

anyway, nona is instructed to try doing bone stuff

she asks what camolive were doing and when they said talking with friends, nona asks about "crown", who she says she loves

I assume "crown" is coronabeer because corona is crown in spanish and nona knows multiple languages

she describes her as: smelling like cinnamon, having nice hair, having nice breasts and being big and pretty

that could very well be coronabeer, so I'm sticking to my hypothesis here

palmolive says that they're not friends with coronabeer right now, which ok?????

I think coronabeer was going full BOE last time we saw her? but judith was not, so idk what's happening over there

ALSO

this is the first time I remember hearing coronabeer described as "big"

I think I, of all people, would remember that

I'm immediately giving her extra points for that

I'm not looking into fanart yet for spoiler reasons but I'm gonna take this one adjective and run with it because I'm starved for representation, ok? ok

palmolive writes down about the "breasts" comment, which I'd also write down, because that's such a gideon thing to say and focus on

I don't think harrowbean has been preoccupied with boobs quite as much as gideon has

also, nona doesn't remember why she knows what cinnamon smells like

in my top 3 smells (I have such a list), cinnamon is my nr 1, so coronabeer is winning a lot of points with me on this day

who would have thought????

making a new version of this meme I dropped on this recap with her new name

they also talk about "the captain" and palmolive says he doesn't like her too much

so that's judith

I stopped being super hard on judith when I found out she was as much of a gay disaster as most people in these books

in other news, palmolive can do some necro stuff still and it doesn't hurt camilla when he does it

which is what's really important here and what really matters

they have the timer so that palmolive doesn't hurt camilla by overstaying his welcome in the temple of perfection that is her body

apparently, the blue light in the sky doesn't hurt camolive either

nona says she loves camilla and how she moves

also gideon behavior

the first time gideon saw camilla fight, she thought she was friend-shaped

I mentioned it on this recap

palmolive agrees about camilla's moves and says he misses seeing her

now you know how I felt during half of harrow, palmolive, it was painful

you were in a man cave in the river at the time, but still

ANYWAY, IT'S LOVING CAMILLA TIME

EVERYONE, GET IN LINE

pyrrha is immune to the light in the sky because she's a lyctor

(they don't use that word)

but she has "the wrong soul"

because og!gideon and her switched and he died

(they don't say that explicitly but I'm filling in the gaps)

nona asks if she has the wrong kind of soul or the wrong kind of body

which we don't know, neither palmolive nor me

she also asks if that's why BOE doesn't want her and palmolive says that they do

and nona adds that she likes commander we suffer

who was named in the dramatis personae aka guest list at the start

and she's part of something palmolive calls "ctesiphon wing"

palmolive has mixed feelings about all of these people which, I guess, in this social context, being a necro narc undercover would do that

not that palmolive would be fighting for emperor asshat anymore, but I assume there's tension between the sides still, being the oppressors and all

which might make things somewhat easier for coronabeer, since she wasn't really a necro to begin with?

judith is probably fucked, though

rip judith

nona says that palmolive doing necro stuff makes her sad, which is kind of what I'm saying

I'm guessing regular folks here would hunt necros for sport if they could, as evidenced by the kids

palmolive tells nona to give camilla a kiss in the second right-hand knuckle

and, apparently, this falls into the "nona can read, understand and replicate body language to perfection in an instant" category

because she apparently did this the first time and camilla had a bit of a breakdown about it

they give me qpr vibes, camolive

I'd marry them as a package if they'd have me anyway, I'm not backing out because palmolive is suddenly an addition

I passed the sixth house audition, maybe I can pass this one, who knows

I can write a detailed CV with color coded references to what I can provide to this association

ANYWAY

under the "nona can read people's bodies and replicate things" umbrella, gestures fall right in

she's in a cumple and she can read people's bodies and gestures and replicate them as well as tell if someone's full of crap and lying their asses out

and she likes coronabeer's boobs

all important details to think about

and that's it for now!!!! see you on the next one!!

[halfbaked00q]

ABSOLUTELY not weird and a thought I have had myself before for these very reasons. it's like the same thing with sex-based ads or whatever, like, *thinking dude meme* can't get distracted by sexual advances if you're not distracted by sex. checkmate.

thinking about, like... the exploration of James Bond × the tangled messy web of complications he'd pick up around sex given like past relationships and also the inherently fucky sexual politics of honeypot missions and etc.

it's like. when your body is as much a tool in your aresenal as any of your skills so you're able to handle/tolerate/work through levels of what, in another context, may be considered personal violations, that would be overwhelming to untrained civvies-- but at the same time that very training that gives you some level of divide/partition/insulation from said trespasses on your person, also rather inherently creates bifurcations in your autonomy which then conversely and maybe ironically, still unavoidably act as violations against your personhood

the interesting added layer to that is to go deeper into exploring how honeypotting is/can be inherently traumatic not just to the victim but also the perpetrator, and the resulting psychological effects on the honeypotting agent

anyway here are some fics that I either reread recently, or I remember noting about, that go into these topics

-----------

Further Reading / Web-Weaving / "You May Also Like":

This fic imo does a great job of exploring/interweaving PTSD through the narration in an organic-feeling, believable, and very visceral way. Towards the end-ish of the currently available chaps there's a section where Bond is thinking about sex and like doomspiraling cuz he's assuming what Q would want and having a crisis about it because he's like, I can't provide that without panicking or dissociating - which I find suuuuuper interesting and complex, and it's especially interesting to have this level of exploration on the subject from Bond's POV.

the specific aspect I find really interesting about this is the way I can see this Bond as becoming, like.... desensitized? in a sense, to sex, on a more emotional level, but also how it becomes even in general sort of a trauma in itself, with his concerns about either reacting violently to a trigger, or dissociating during the act and how he worries if that happens that Q will find it hollow and falling short.

the dissociating bit really sticks out to me because it reminds me of an anecdote my high school psych teacher told about a friend of hers who through therapy realized that she was dissociating during sex with her husband and like mentally taking a walk down.. some sidewalk or other, but basically I can't remember if any other fic had this like, aspect of explicitly mentioning dissociating (others do talk about like him going a bit dead-eyed when putting on his TM Seduction act which is like adjacent to this, but not like specifically from inside Bond's head reflecting on this specific type of trauma response)

---

Has this banger section that, like, puts the *points above* into words from a third party's POV:

“Part of what makes it work -- with Scar and me -- is that I have no expectations on that front, so she doesn’t have to... perform. It’s second nature to them, to figure out what you want and give it to you…” The pause was horrible, and her expression deeply sad. “Whether it’s what they want or not.” Q felt a little sick. People sometimes joked about the honeypot missions, calling them ‘plush’ or talking as though they were somehow easier. Q had never really thought about it, except to think that it wouldn’t be easy for him. But now…

---

the warmth of your doorways:

has whole sections of James reflecting introspectively on honeypot missions. also has the added spicy layer of James being tapped to train/guide the guy who is meant to replace him for honeypot missions, and the added turbulance of all that (this fic also has a lot going for it on other levels that I enjoy a lot- this post us just specifically about JB × his fucked up sex politics stuff)

---

Bond and Q talk about sex stuff and Q is horrified to realize how bad Bond's training for honeypotting male targets was, which eventually leads to them talking about sexualuties, which leads to Q introducing Bond to the Kinsey scale lmao, and etc. also this banger from the author in the comments:

Craig has this one facial expression that makes me think, as Q put it in my fic, like Bond's soul has wandered off and left him behind. We see it occasionally when he's laying in wait to kill but most commonly when he's seducing a female mark. The best example of the face I mean is when he's seducing the widow in Spectre. It's a little dispassionate, a lot distant and it really makes me think very hard about what that means. To me, that facial expression makes me think perhaps Bond has a certain distance from his own actions. His body belongs to England, he is Her weapon and he will do as She needs.

[thecartoonrambler]

Sylvia is a Fantastic character

Oh Sylvia!

Ever since i wrote about Wander and why hes such an important character, i wanted to write about Sylvia. But life got in the way a little..

Sylvia is such an amazing character.

Craig could have easily made her male, or made her a "typical female character" who presents in hyperfeminine ways and whatever (nothing wrong with femininity as long as it isnt forced or compulsory). But she's not, shes her own character, she's masculine, she's a bounty hunter, she's strong, she's powerful, she keeps her silly friend in check, she's serious, logical, diligent. Competitive. She's sassy, she doesn't let others boss her around. Its SO refreshing. Its SO refreshing to just HAVE a female character that FEELS like a character rather than simply "the Female".

Funny how a kids show about space can do a better job at that than even Marvel movies, huh?Its almost sad that when talking about her, the fact that she's female and that shes written like a proper character is actually refreshing. It should be the case for ALL shows, no exceptions.

Maybe she can serve as an example for new writers and show runners what to do RIGHT.

but enough about her gender!

I ADORE her dynamics between herself and other characters. I love the parallels between Her and Commander peepers in chasing around their emotional and impulsive friend/boss trying to keep them from doing silly things, yet also being complete opposites due to Her being the Bigger one in her dynamic with Wander, whereas peepers is the smaller one to Lord hater. I think its really cool!

I think episodes like "the Timebomb" or "the Family Reunion" are fantastic at deepening our understanding of Sylvia too.

She was brought up in a very rough and tough environment, feeling like she was never enough and had to compete with her older brothers at all times, fighting with feelings of not being good enough for her mother and how these feelings have caused her to be hyper competitive in instances of competition, where her feelings of little self worth are brough up if she's not "good enough", getting blinded by rage and loosing sense of what she should prioritise (which for a character that is typically so focused on logic and effectiveness is really striking. (I also ABSOLUTELY love the episode the Timebomb cause it shows how well Sylvia and Wander's friendship works?? Like the way he's able to calm her down and make sure she doesn't go crazy, similarly to how she's there for him from going crazy in episodes like "the Box") its just so sweet amd i love it smI love Sylvia so much.

When ppl say we want strong female characters WE MEAN SYLVIA!!! A WELL ROUNDED, AWESOME WELL WRITTEN CHARACTER THAT IS AN INSPIRATION!! THAT HAS FLAWS AND FEELINGS AND FEELS LIKE A REAL CHARACTER!!!! AHHH!!!! i love her :,3

ALSO! her design! I love it! I didn't mention it yet. But i really like that

1. She's larger than Wander!

2. Her snout is so cute idk 🥺

3. I love that she's not skinny?? Like shes got muscle she's got fat, she's got speed!!?

4. I like that she has dinosaur and horse elements idk i think its cool She's just cool Idk i love her

[picturejasper20]

I’m pretty sure tons of other people might’ve said it, but based on what I’ve seen from A New Wish, Dev is giving me some Amity Blight vibes except even more messed up.

Funny how i was just minutes ago talking with some people about this on Discord.

But, yeah, you can see that by watching a few episodes FOP A New Wish takes quite a lot of inspiration in recent DTVA shows from the latest years.

Amity seems to be one of the first examples that comes to mind. She was quite cold at the start of the series and over time, through different series of events, she got to know Luz and learned that she could do better than just following what her parents told her to do.

However, i would say Dev leans more to be like characters like Scratch from The Ghost and Molly Mcgee and Max from Camp Camp, specially Max. Both Max and Dev have similar ways of speaking, coming off as dry and rather insensitive towards others. Dev has this ¨pessimistic worldview¨ and he would rather pretend he doesn't care about things.

Both Dev and Max also can be power hungry,they have very chaotic energy and don't care about breaking the rules at all. Just Max, Dev often has problems with treating other people well, we see this with how he treats Peri in some episodes.

And of course, both have parents who are very neglectful to them and they both show different signs of abandonment issues as result in different occasions.

Other comparisons i could make are Jason and King Xavier from Craig of the Creek, a show the main producers worked on before working on this show. Dev feels like a mix of both of these characters, so i wouldn't be surprised if they were inspired from there.

I could make more comparisons, but yeah. I think Dev is intended to be more a ¨deconstruction¨ of characters like Amity, Andrea, ect that shows that just because he made a friend it doesn't mean that all his issues were ¨fixed¨ and in fact he still can get worse even after becoming better in some ways.

It is a more ¨realistic¨ take on neglectful parenting/ abandonment issues than you see in other animated family shows. It shows how badly it can mess a kid up and it isn't something that goes away so easily.

I think another factor that plays a role here is that Infinity Train writers worked in this show, so they probably wanted to do something quite different with Dev's character and her relationship with Hazel. People who worked COTC as well, since that series tackles themes like complicated and toxic friendships.

[aniseandspearmint]

Been seeing a few takes where people are scornful and complaining about 14 being able to actually set The Job down and, basically, wondering why it couldn't have been 11 or 12 or 13 who did that and-

Look, setting aside the clear doyalist answer of Tennant being HUGELY popular and Donna having one of the best dangling plot hooks, BURN OUT DOESN'T WORK LIKE THAT.

Recovery doesn't work like that!

The watsonian answer is that none of the others were ready to stop for stopping's sake.

10 was a mess, Mr avoidance himself, and stopping was not in the cards for him. At all.

11 was manic and ever pushing forward, with moments of SOUL CRUSHING exhaustion, but was very clearly afraid of stopping.

As evidenced by the moments where he DID stop a bit, like with Craig, and the year with the little cubes.

I am less knowledgeable about 12, I've seen that run the least of the bunch. But he stopped twice too, if I recall, once with River, that last night on Derillium (a nearly four decade long night), and when he was guarding Missy's time out box and playing professor. Those were very goal oriented pauses though. He had a purpose, he needed to DO a thing so they weren't him setting his responsibilities down, they were him rearranging them for a while.

With 13, she seems as if she was trying to get back into the swing of being The Doctor after the mess of the end of 12, and doing that, but there's a depth of exhaustion there in the quiet moments. Shadows in her eyes that 11 and 12 were out running that are catching up with her.

But there IS no one else. If The Doctor stops, what happens to all the people The Doctor saves, the problems they fix as they spin through time and space. And their enemies won't stop coming after them! They can't stop they CAN'T–

Except bi-generation.

There's TWO Doctors. His next self is here. Can take the reins. Is telling the Doctor that THIS is the purpose of 14, that 14 fixes themselves, and that's how 15 is here and SO BRIGHT and ready to walk into the universe.

He'll dance through the stars, and time, he'll draw their trouble, their enemies, gather new friends.

14 is a time lord that is finally, FINALLY, ready to stop for a while, to rest. And he's the only one so far that really could.

[reddetur]

Do you guys sometimes like any ship that slightly resembles a ship that you're hyperfixating on like I can name a lot of ships that I like that make me like them even more because they remind me of ticcijack

Tomtord (tom looks like jack but without the gray skin and tord is lowkey similar to toby tbh)

Crenny (craig x kenny, shut up south park fandom I don't wanna hear it I know how toxic y'all are and I hate all of you /aimed at the people who say "BUT CRAIG LIKES TWEA-" SHUT. SHUT IT. ZIP IT. I have the freedom to ship whoever I want to. anyways I think Kenny resembles Toby a lot with his personality and also the way he keeps dying like it kinda reminds of the masochistic Toby headcanons or like headcanons of Toby coming to Jack to patch him up because he gets hurt a lot blah blah and Craig is similar to Jack because they're both autistic and blue, yes that's my only arguement shhh)

Sonadow (ticcijack if they were hedgehogs except Toby was the one who lost his blonde sister and not Jack which is the part that I don't like GRRRR IT DOESN'T FIT PERFECTLY LIKE I WANTED IT TO. I can't even switch them up because Jack is nothing like Sonic and Toby is nothing like Shadow except for them both having dead sisters I'm so harsh today damn)

Ratiorine/Aventio (THEY'RE LITERALLY TICCIJACK IN ANOTHER UNIVERSE BRO, LITERALLY. Everything about them reminds me of ticcijack)

natsuri (but (@)bananabedside type of natsuri)

Klance (yeah)

Pikovaru (literally ticcijack and that's the only reason I like them 🙏🏼🙏🏼 otherwise my fav 13 cards ship is pikozont)

Do you guys see the pattern, it's always funny/sunshine X grumpy

I ran out of ships, might add more later

[dittomander]

Steven Universe I know but what are EoA fans doing now??

hhhh okay. so.

to be totally fair up front, there's nothing nearly as virulent as the absolute insanity that comes out of SU spaces (to my knowledge, no one has accused Craig Gerber of being a fascist). The EoA fandom doesn't have the kind of headcount necessary to sustain drama for very long, and most of the people in it are pretty chill and normal. So what we have instead is the world's slowest conga line of bad takes, where every 1-3 months or so we get someone popping up to talk about how bad or how wild a certain writing decision was for reasons that completely ignore elements like target audience, genre conventions, and theme.

I'm not sure of your personal level of familiarity with EoA, so to set the stage here: the central message of EoA is that it's never too late to change your future. You can't undo the past, but you can always take accountability and learn from your mistakes going forward, and it's important to give others the opportunity to do so, as well. This theme is stated out loud in varying ways throughout the show, including via an entire musical number in the finale literally titled 'Never Too Late'. It's all pretty unsubtle - while this show delves into some surprisingly heavy topics for Disney Jr., it is still a Disney Jr. show, and the messaging is very direct. They do everything short of looking into the camera at the end Veggie Tales-style and asking "so kids, what did we learn today?"

So with how heavy handed the messaging can be, it's genuinely surprising to me how many people seemed to miss the point. An incomplete list of takes I've seen the last few years, in no particular order:

Victor and Carla were never really bad/were just misunderstood/etc. and the reason they got redeemed is because they never really needed redemption in the first place. (ignores sizable amounts of their textual actions and misses the point of the show - if it's never too late to change, then it shouldn't matter how bad or deserving of 'redemption' they ever were)

Actually, Victor didn't do enough to be forgiven and doesn't deserve it. (okay, and? your point? He outright acknowledges that he may never earn forgiveness in the text of the show! His personal ability to change is the important part, and is unaffected by whether others forgive him!)

Esteban did too many horrible things and should have had to die as a consequence. (to what end? what would that accomplish? how is that better than him living to actually make amends? what would this satisfy except your own punitive sense of vengeance?)

Actually, the show is victim blaming Esteban by expecting him to be accountable for his actions because he was always being influenced by Shuriki/Ash/Cahu/etc. (Ok look he's a complicated guy and his motives certainly range in sympathy but like. he is still in control of his own actions. he still needs to change. owning up to his mistakes is a part of that, or else he'll continue to make the same ones over and over again. which Cahu actually comments on. In the text.)

Elena is evil/crazy/too violent/etc. and can't possibly come back morally from her behavior. (even if I give the benefit of the doubt and assume that misogyny isn't a driver on this one, it still misses the point of the show and an awful lot of the text. her pursuit of vengeance is treated as a character flaw to overcome! it causes problems for her! and she overcomes it! and if you can give leeway to the others to change, why is Elena where you draw the line?)

Actually, Elena wasn't evil/crazy/violent enough after everything she went through! She was trapped in an amulet for 41 years she should be completely insane! (ok this isn't even a thematic thing this is just you don't understand the genre conventions of a children's fantasy. cool fanfic, still not a sensible critique of the show)

Like. This sort of stuff just keeps. Popping. Up. These types of takes have made it into YouTube videos with hundreds of thousands of views. People have made money off of saying this kind of stuff, among all kinds of other misinterpretations of more granular parts of the text. Genuinely, when I see long analysis text posts in the tags or new retrospective videos, my stomach just sinks in dread at this point. And right when I think that's all been left behind I'm blindsided by something else. If bad Steven Universe takes are floodwaters, overwhelming and everywhere, then bad Elena of Avalor takes are the endless drips of a broken sink - infrequent and largely just obnoxious as individuals, but the sound will still slowly drive you mad, and it's still a problem that needs to be fixed.

I'd be more understanding if the show was more obtuse, but none of the themes are even subtextual. It's literally just the text. They say it all out loud. How do we still have people in the year 2025 saying Esteban should have died? I'm baffled and tired.

[indigosunsetao3]

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZPRE4g6YQ/

Okay but look at this 😭😫👏🏻❤️🥺🥹 it’s such husband behavior and I could see all the 141 guys doing this tbh. Maybe except Price (I feel like he’d go to the ends of the Earth to find one and would be successful. Even if it means driving 2+hrs to every Tesco trying to find the cake)

What? Stop it right now. This is too cute.

Just doing read more because it's a bit long to list them all. All are SFW and fluffy. 💙

Price for sure is going to every. single. store. He's going to find this cake one way or another; he won't come home until he's got it. He loses count of how many places he tries. He makes store managers call other stores to see if they have it in stock, watching them from the counter with narrowed eyes. When he tracks down the last one, which is another hour away, he asks the store to set it aside and pays them double when he arrives for their effort (and to apologize for slightly threatening them if they sold it to someone else). Traditions are important to him and he'll be damned if he misses a year. "I know it's almost midnight dear, but it's still technically your birthday. Never mind where I've been all day, not important."

Soap is making a masterpiece. Baking may not be his forte per se but man is artistic. His creation is a variation of all the different caterpillar cakes; selecting only the best qualities from each. And yes, he looked and studied them all. He has pictures of them all over the kitchen counter with notes on each about what he likes and doesn't like. Then he sketches out his own picture and uses it as a blueprint for his design, proudly naming it Craig.

"Clyde's eyes are terrifying, bonnie. But I didn't like how Chris didn't have feet...they have to have feet or then it's a snake. And Morris was boring, not enough stripes."

Gaz is in the kitchen for hours baking. He's bought everything he needs in bulk because he knows it's going to be a learning curve. He ends up with multiple failures, that he'll take to the team to devour, before finally getting it right. By the time he finishes, the kitchen is a disaster—every pan, bowl, plate, and pot (yes pot, he ran out of clean bowls) is dirty by the time he finishes. And flour? It's everywhere, his hair, clothes, the cat. "Stay out of the kitchen. Just sit here and enjoy this...I'll be back in a bit. If you see the cat just brush him off for me, yeah?"

Ghost enlists Soap to help him. It ends up with a bunch of arguing about how to do it. They fight over where to put the milk chocolate decorative pieces, the proper spacing of the eyes, the size of the feet and every other little imperfection Ghost can find. Soap eventually leaves telling Ghost to do it himself...before coming back thirty minutes later to help him finish. It's a bit lumpy and there are little slashes where it had been pulled apart and resealed with chocolate icing like glue from Ghost's attempts to get it perfect. "It's a bit beat up, sorry love. Tried to make it perfect for you, now it looks like he's been to war with all the scars."

Bonus:

Alex, poor soul, had no idea this kind of cake was even a thing at first. He assumed a caterpillar cake was just a sheet cake with the Very Hungry Caterpillar on it until you explained. Once he knows what it is, you get a caterpillar cake every year; he doesn't care that shipping costs three times as much as the cake itself. But this year the shipment runs late and he has to call in backup...which involves Gaz going to the shops to sweet talk the little old lady bakers for their recipe while Alex frantically takes notes. He only has a few hours to get it together and while he does his best...it's the thought that counts right? At least it tastes like it's supposed to.

"I know it's not Colin but if you squint hard enough it's vaguely a caterpillar....really squint, maybe cover one eye, and stand back a few feet. I promise your real one is on its way, just had a bit of delay."

[cringelordofchaos]

random craig tucker headcanons

has level 1 low support needs autism

gay (not a hc bt whaever.)

special interest is star trek and space in general

watching red racer every day is a routine he mustn't under almost any imaginable circumstance break

got some peruvian ancestry (from which parent's side? heck if i know) + knows a bittt of spanish

his family mostly goes without saying a word to each other during meals

when hes waiting outside the counselor's office for flipping off someone again he sits and either thinks about space or looks at images of stripe on his phone to ease any tension that migth be there

barely ever smiles except when stripe, space or tweek exist

closer to thomas than to laura

his parents taught him everythin ghe knows <33 (emotional constipation and invlulnerability but breaking the ice every one in a while)

sometimes just randomly infodumps about random facts about star strek or space or guinea pigs at the most random of times (actually canon as briefly shown in TFBW)

likes to learn / memorize random facts abt red racer, space, star trek or guinea pigs

random fact i almost mispelled guinea pigs every single time wtmf is wrong with me

for birthdays he mostly gets space-themed stuff cuz everyone knows he loves it

if hes overwhelmed, instead of having a meltdown he'll usually have a shutdown instead

sometimes rants to stripe abt stuff like relationship drama w tweek lmao

he actually liked the clothes he wore during the metrosexual fad, (evident by keeping them in his closet as shown in TFBW)

most emotion he shows is anger/being pissed off

"sooooooo happy" is actually a stim of his and it feels satisfying for him to say it every time hes sooo happy

even when hes sooo happy the most emotion he'll show is a faint smile

doesn't really smile in any pictures unless hes forced to

flipping people off for him is kinda like pushing people away and making them pissed off at him so he wouldnt need to care abt what they think of him and that way he sorta protects himself (mostly saying this bc of one of his attacks in tfbw)(i swear im sane)

hes sometimes overwhelmed from his relationship w tweek but he fucking sucks at communicating (his kryptonite in TFBW is literally communication) he didnt communicate that to tweek just yet (this is mostly shown in buddha box)(NOT SAYING CRAIG DOESNT CARE ABOUT TWEEK HE LOVES HIM HES JUST OVERWHELMED SOMETIMES FROM FEELING LIKE HES COMPLETELY RESPONIBLE FOR HIM ANDN OIEAHDKKSH leave him alone) i like to imagine tweek and craig resolve this at one point cuz im pretty sure they get married in the future and they always push through their struggles together and they rly need each other so .

u can point to a star n hell name it

has space themed pajamas

(StOLEN HC IdK FroM whO) has those glow in the dark stars in his room

i googled it sometime ago n apparently he has blue eyes ? idrc

his childhood dream was to become an astronaut (I FORGOT HOW TO SPELL IT I LITERALLY HAD TO GOOGLE IT I HATE MYSELF) but when he grew up he probably settled for something less extreme. idk what though

either got diagnosed w autism at age 10, in his teens, in his young adult years, or far afterwards, or never at all. when he was told by someone that he migth be autistic he didnt rly even bother to look it up or anything but if he did he would go like "idk i dont really think im autistic i dont think i do (x symtom) all that much" and tweeks like "You do that literally all the time !!!!". but yeah even if he gets diagnosed he doesnt rly end up taking any medication or specializzed therapy but he does gain a larger understanding of himself and how to handle things like shutdowns.)

really picky eater (cuz sensory issues)

hates wearing jeans or similiar uncomfy clothing so he wears exclusively sweatpants (again cuz of sensory issues)

his whole family is autistic actually ive decided so when mr mackey brings up the possibility of him being autistic laura and thomas deny it cuz all the symptoms he shows are what they do as well, andthyere obviously not autistic so neither can craig be.

sometimes he goes over to tweeks house completely unannounced and so does tweek (actuallycanon as shown in put it down)

0verwhelmed by the concept of emotions in general but his relationship w tweek forces him to confront that part of him he tries to avoid and forces him to open up a bit which is actually rly important

since tweek is on meth, he heavily lacks appetite and sometimes skips meals or just doesnt take care of himself enough. craig learns abt this (not the meth part cuz tweek doesnt know that eithrer) so he helps him eat enough food throughout the day so he doesnt fucken starve to death

replies to tweeks texts instantly (actually canon)

tolkiens best friend (canon according to the official south park wiki). clydes a closee second

clyde annoys the fuck out of him but in a friend teasing way and they both care abt each other obvu

i actually dont rly have hcs for him n tolkien sryyyy

jimmy makes the best remarks abt creek (canon)(in put it down he asks craig (when craig doesnt know why tweek isnt in school) "uh oh. trouble in paradise?" and in TFBW during a battle tweek tells craig smth like "ill be right with you super craig!" and jimmy says "OK, i guess illbe the third wheel." anyway live laugh jimmy)

extremely blunt pessimist (canon)

despite his reputation as a troublemaker hes actually a decently polite kid (minus the constant flipping off)

barely goes out the house or does anything exciting. nice n boring. just the way he likes it.

hates changes or sudden surprises or his routine being broken

on the verge of being diagnosed w oppositional defiance disorder

sometimes wears black nail polish (again cuz in tfbw its kinda implied he liked the metrosexual fad n black nail polish migth be a more neutral form of such self expression)(mostly self projecting here)

tumblr user

during one pride month thomas went all out and bought craig a shitton of pride themed merch that he mostly doesnt use

he loves loves lovess seeing tweeks smile !!!1!! hes like omfg finally hes getting a fucking break (tweeks life is a fucking mess)

appears unphased by some stuff even when hes really uncomfortab;le

sometimes sleeps without pillow ehn he deems it more comfortable

deals w some form of small anxiety, not to a disordered amount thogh

maybee has depression ?!? idk

dated a girl in the past cuz he thought he was supposed to, but he felt like "she was holding him back". overall he didnt give a fuck abt their breakup cuz he didnt really care that much abt the relationship and when others questioned him abt it he was confused and didnt know most ppl were heartbroken after a breakup. (sorry i love early craig being a gay mess in denial)

sometimes cartman calls him a pocoyo rip off and each time he feels the strongest urge to either decapitate or defenestrate him

before he n tweek got together he would joke to tolkien abt how he was gonna propose to him when they grew up so he could live off his wealth and not have to work for any money. (SORRY i got this concept from a webcomic (the four of them))

he n tweek send heart emojis to each other (implied)

mostlyyy dry texter (he doesnt mean to)

at one point he n tweek buy a pair of guinea pigs for stripe to befriend and craig names them castor and pollux

he n tweek get married in the future

mostly likes dry, tasteless and cold food (There r obviously exceptions thats why i said mostly)

says and intreprerts things more literally than most

still sarcastic at times

hates huge social events with too many people and noiises

used to blend in well and fit in w mob mentality but doesnt really care anymore

it wont let me write anymo

[shhh-secret-time]

hello ^^, i saw your secret soulmate au about craig, i don't have the words to explain how much i giggled, twirled my hair and everything XD! well, when you have the time, could you do a craig x clyde x reader smut? of course, if you feel comfortable with it! reader can be female or gn. it's practically normal smut but just craig fucking the reader from behind and clyde from the front, so that's it! tysm for reading, i love your writing too! <33 -✨️ Anon (I'm still new to tumblr so i might get confused on some things sometimes!)

Completely understandable, I too am confused with how tumblr works and I've been on this godless site since fucking Dash Con. I'm glad you liked the way I wrote those dorks! And thank you for fueling my Clyde agenda!

Warning: NSFW, Strong-Language, Dirty Talk, Slight Sub/Dom dynamics, blow jobs, orgasm denial, threesome

Pairing: Clyde x Fem!Reader x Craig

The sweet air of the votives swirls around the empty church. Empty except for the dim orange and red light that illuminates the book in the man's hand.

A woman at his feet, clothed in fine silks. A mix of reds and whites that twine together. Beautiful patterns of stars flow across the dress.

She dips her head in prayer alongside the man. The father of the church glides his fingers across her cheek as her mouth closes. Reciting scriptures of one's devotion for an unseen God. Everything in that moment was peaceful.

The warmth in the Father's eyes doesn't go unnoticed, the greens darken with a desire that he knows better than to have. It's difficult to hide the growing ache in his pants. More so when the woman's lips curl into a mischief smile, the warm glow of the candles makes them shine with an otherworldly glow. She looks up at him and her eyes fall deep into those pools of lust. Her hands break apart from that folded prayer and onto his black dress pants. They card up further against his thighs where they settle and clutch the material.

"Father, bless me...", a whisper that makes the Father groan.

Temptation never looked so sweet. This woman made his chest pound. Unholy thoughts flood his mind and go straight to his-

You let out a loud groan. Your forehead drops and hits the table beside your keyboard. The forgotten mug with now cold tea rattles.

Writer’s block, the very bane of any author’s existence. It's been haunting you for weeks now, making it impossible to get anything done. You've been stuck on this part of your romance novel the entire time. A part you were so excited to get to!

The buildup was perfect! You had calculated, plotted, and carefully crafted a budding romance between a witch and a holy man. A forbidden romance that took place within the walls of the church, the furthest outside the walls it went were the gardens that surrounded the area. The two fell in love after he saved her from the townsfolk claiming sanctuary.

Inspiration struck you like lightning after you fell in love with your partners. After publishing a sci-fi series, that honestly changed the name of how science fiction would be written forever, you met two fans at a book signing event. You had made a surprise appearance at a local library in some little town called South Park. Coming from the big city yourself, it was a huge surprise that anyone in the little town would actually be a fan of yours.

Apparently, you had quite a few. A man with bright red hair who had a black-haired man following alongside him. Both gushed about how the story inspired some kind of board game they played with their friends. A sweet blond woman who had the cutest southern accent you've ever heard. She gave you a piece of fan mail that had the most adorable sticker on it. Another black-haired man who dressed as Spock for some reason. He went on for a solid thirty minutes about a fanfic he wrote regarding the main character of your book and Star Trek's very own Captain Kirk.

Finally came the oddest duo you had ever met. The two were like day and night, a cat and a dog, fire and ice; the whole nine yards. A bright smile with baby brown eyes on one, and an ice-cold deadpan look with amber eyes to match on the other. At first you thought the brown-haired one was your fan and the man with the blue hat was just along for the ride.

"Haha! No way! I'm not into that..." He paused as if to stop himself from saying something he shouldn't, "...kinda stuff."

"That kind of stuff?" You repeat back at him, raising a brow.

"He means reading. He doesn't know how." The other spoke putting a hand on top of his head. With a little push he forced the brown-haired man's head down.

You giggled at that. The protests coming from the poor man was comical. You almost felt sorry for him, watching him struggle to move the taller man's hand off.

"Then I take it I'm signing this book out to you?" With a click of your pen, you look up at him.

The NASA jacket on the bright blue sleeves of his jacket should have given it away honestly. There's was a small tinge of a blush on his tan cheeks, almost hidden under the skin tone but you were able to make it out under the light. He looked away for a moment before nodding at you.

"Yeah."

"Name?"

"His name is Craig! He's a huge fan of yours by the way! So, if you could write something sweet for him that'd be awesome!" His friend chirped at you as he broke free from Craig's grip.

Craig's face twisted, those piercing eyes of his narrowed down. Before he could reach and grab him, the brown-haired man slid behind your chair. Putting his hand on your chair, he bent down to your level and tapped the blank white page.

"As you can see my big guy has a baaaaaad case of resting bitch face."

"Clyde..." the warning that slipped out of Craig's mouth made a shiver roll down your spine. It was even directed at you, and you felt threatened.

"So, you gotta imagine my surprise when he came home smiling! I was shocked! He didn't even smile when we started going out!" Clyde ignored him, an attest to his bravery. Or foolishness. Either way he continued, leaning down next to your ear. "Your book made him so happy, so it makes me happy. Think you could do that for me? Because he'll never ask you to do it for him."

You look up at him for a while, not even bothered that he had gotten closer to your face as he spoke. The browns in his eyes flickered with mischief but there were layers of love behind them. Chocolate that seemed to melt into tiny hearts when he spoke about Craig. It was honestly sweet, even if he was trying to tease his partner.

"How can I say no to that? I'd love to." You smiled at him and began writing on the empty page.

Yeah, who would have thought that fate would tie you to those two like that. Falling in love with Craig and Clyde was nothing like what they wrote in books or movies. It was a tornado of events that landed you in the eye of it all.

Despite their polar opposite personalities and looks, the two worked off each other well. Then when you got thrown in the middle, you filled in a little spot they desperately needed.

Clyde was social enough for the three of you. He was the one who reminded you and Craig that you needed to get out of the house. When you lock yourself away in your office, he would drag you out with a fun date idea. Movie nights, football games, arcade dates, and his favorite late-night walks. Doing the same to Craig who always seemed buried in work.

Craig gave off such scary dog privilege that you and Clyde never felt threatened. You could take those late-night walks with Clyde because you knew nothing would touch you with Craig following close behind.

That was nice sure, but under that scary looking shell was a soft teddy bear of a man. While he wasn't vocal with affection like Clyde, he was observant. Craig remembered everything, everything about you and Clyde's interests. If he saw something you mentioned in passing it was yours. Clyde needed new shoelaces because the ones on his favorite pair of red shoes were tearing? There was a new pack waiting for him on the table. You complained about the shift key on your keyboard sticking too much? An adorable keyboard that looked like a typewriter was found on your desk the next morning.

Then there was you. You have no idea how these two survived this long without you. Truth be told they don't either. Craig and Clyde couldn't cook to save their lives. Their diet consisted of diner food and Chinese takeout. While their house was clean enough, laundry was never put away or folded. Clyde was horrible at putting his dirty laundry in the bin and Craig was too tired most nights to even make it to bed. The final straw was when you took a shower, and their only soap was 3 in 1.

Absolutely not.

So, when you moved in things changed. When Craig was at work, you would take Clyde grocery shopping. Slowly you started him on simple dishes, working with him until he was comfortable in the kitchen. What was surprising was that he took to it quickly. He was a natural and before you knew it, he was cooking things you had never heard of. He had gone as far as looking up Peruvian dishes, practicing with spices and techniques that had your mouth watering. When you asked how he learned to do all of this, he gave you the biggest grin and told you it was YouTube.

When Craig came home that night to Chupe de Camarones it was the closest to crying you've ever seen from him.

Clyde really stepped up after that, feeling a sense of pride in taking care of you two. Seeing as you worked just as hard as Craig did. Clyde proclaimed something about being more than happy to be a malewife.

In return Craig started taking better care of himself, actually starting to care about his health. He stopped staying up so late and made use of the giant bed. Clean sheets and blankets that felt good on his skin. Even better that you and Clyde would be in it waiting for him. Clyde long passed out on your chest, a bit of drool sliding down the side of his face and onto your shirt. Not that you seemed to care as you just continued to read next to the little bedside lamp. Only pausing when you felt Craig's presence in the doorway.

Craig's smiles were rare, little treats from the universe to you. Ones like these where he smiles with love in his eyes. Where he kicks off his shoes and strips down to his boxers, crawling into bed next to you. Arms wrapping around Clyde and with a hand settling on your hips. A silent squeeze lets you know it's time to put the book down and join him.

How can you say no to a smile like that?

Of course, not every day was perfect. Your relationship took time to hash out. It was different being with two individuals at the same time, but you made it work. The three of you were committed to one another.

Now if only you could commit to this fucking scene.

Your head’s little meet and greet with the table must have been louder than you thought because whatever Clyde was yelling about in the living room stopped. It was one of the rare weekends where Craig was home and off work. Choosing to spend it watching some show with Clyde, listening to the man ramble on about something.

So wrapped up in your thoughts, you let out a scream when you finally lift your head and Clyde is right there beside you. His body bent over just like the day you met him. With his hand on the back of your chair and his face next to yours. Except instead of using, you as a shield from Craig, he's reading your computer screen.

While he doesn't understand what it takes to be an author, he sees the effect it has on you. Days like this where you take on the posture of a shrimp, forgetting to come out to eat.

His lips start pursed, but as he continues to scan over the screen they break out into a smirk. He covers his mouth in a fake surprise, a gasp with widened eyes.

"Babe! This is...scandalous! Spicy, naughty even! What are you doing writing something like this?" His dramatic act continues, forming some feign surprise.

"What are you doing using words with more than one syllable?" You shoot back with a little smirk.

It takes everything in your power not to laugh at the actual pout on his face. Try as you might, the giggles escape your lips, and it makes him smirk. He leans down and nuzzles his nose into your cheek.

"Maybe you're starting to rub off on me babe! I'm getting smarterer with you around!" You know he said that word wrong on purpose, just to get under your skin.

But he kisses you quiet before you can say anything. Holds your face in his hands so you can't pull away. You can taste the cherry chapstick on his lips, and the growing smile along with it.

"So, what's got you bashing your head into your desk baby? Craig and I heard a thump and got worried." He moves the kisses towards your forehead.

"Was it that loud?"

"Heard it over the tv." Craig's voice almost makes you leap out of your skin.

You bite your lip, looking down at the keyboard with a distant stare. The faded green and blue, spots where your fingers had smudged away the paint from typing so much.

"I'm just having trouble with this scene. I've been stuck on it for weeks now." You exhale softly.

Craig raises a brow and leans down on the other side of you. Both Clyde and Craig bent over to take a look at your screen. You're not sure why the fact both men reading your unfinished work makes you feel nervous, but it does. Or maybe it's the fact this is your first time writing a spicy scene like this.

"It's good. Never would have thought you'd go the Priest kink route." Craig says it so matter of fact, there's never hesitation in his voice. You can count on one hand the number of times you've seen him flustered, and even then, his tone is flat.

"I-I’m not into it! I just- you guys are only reading a snippet of my book! There's been a romance blossoming between the two the whole time!" You try to defend yourself, but it only makes Clyde's lips tug into a smirk.

The temptation to tease you was too great, it was being handed to him on a silver platter. Clyde leans up and walks next to Craig, leaning into his chest. The man wraps his arms around himself and lets out a dramatic sigh.

"A forbidden love! A tale as old as time! But what I wanna know babe-" Clyde stops and lets the tension build. It makes you glare at him as you turn in your office chair. "-is why the witch's descriptions are reaaaally close to mine."

"That's a woman Clyde! She's got short brown hair because it was cut off when she was running from the townsfolk! Brown eyes are common and beautiful! There's not enough representation for them!"

"Aaaaaand her dimples?" He points to his, the little spots in his cheeks that sink in when he smiles. "Plus, my eyes are totally beautiful."

"It's not you!"

"Oh, and the Father isn't Craig. Tan skin, black hair? You gave the Father green eyes but other than that, it fits Craig to a T." Craig actually nods along with what Clyde is saying. He's got his eyes closed as if this is some kind of philosophical debate.

"Are you serious right now Clyde?! This is why you two aren't allowed in my study!" Your face was burning now, hot and flushed from his teasing.

"What did I do?" Craig breaks the little fight with a simple question.

"Nodding your head along! You know what he's doing and you're encouraging it!"

"So, you took inspiration from your partners in your romance story. It's cute." He responds with a shrug. He looks down at Clyde who's still smugly leaning against his chest.

Your mouth falls open, you go to respond but nothing makes its way out. Your brows furrow. Arms crossed under your chest in a pout.

Had you unintentionally based your characters off your partners? Is that why the romance novel was easy to write up until this point?

Whatever the case may be here, you didn't like being called out. So, you do what you always do when they get like this, you turn in your chair and ignore them.

Usually this works, let's them know that you're not in the mood for their games. That you'd rather be left alone than entertain another minute of their shenanigans. But this time Clyde wasn't going to let you go. He grabs the back of your seat and wheels you back towards him and Craig.

"Baaaaabe don't pout. Look I'm sorry~." No, he's not. "But hey I've got an idea."

You let out a little huff, enough to where he knows you're not actually mad at him. If you were you would have picked your chair up and walked it back to your desk. Instead, you sit there and wait for him to continue.

"You're stuck on that scene, but I think you need a break. Sitting here and bashing your head against the table isn't going to fix that. Soooo..." He trails off, moving to stand in front of you.

His fingers glide across the side of your face, cupping your cheek so gently. Clyde guides your face up to look at him, behind that cocky smile of his he's got such love for you in his eyes. The way his thumb brushes across your cheek, making your heart flutter so slightly.

"What do you say Craig and I help you out a little babe?" Clyde guides your face up towards him. He presses his thumb against your lips just as his voice dips into that playful whisper.

You raise a brow at him in response. It's not until Craig puts his hand on your shoulders, that you piece together this wasn't just his idea. Thumbs pressed into your muscles working out the knots and tension. For such a hard worker, somehow Craig's hands always stay so soft. The worn-out oversized t-shirt you stole does little against his hands. The material is thin from how often it's been washed and worn.

His hands pull a soft moan from you, it feels too good to keep yourself silent. Clyde pushes his thumb past your lips and into your mouth, the digit presses down on your soft pink tongue. He all but purrs when watches you wrap your lips around it.

"See...let's work out some of that tension. We'll make you feel real good and give you a little inspiration." Clyde hums as he pulls his thumb out, smearing the saliva across your lips.

When he doesn't continue, you realize he's waiting for your confirmation. Waiting for you to agree to their little plan. But that doesn't stop Craig from bending down and placing a kiss on your cheek. He trails the kisses down to your jawline, using his nose to nudge your head to the side. Lulling your head to the side, you gave into the feeling. Craig's lips move to capture the exposed skin. You can feel just how eager he is from the way the kisses turn to nips then to full on bites. His teeth sinking into the soft parts of your flesh pulling another sharp gasp from you.

"Come on honey. Let us take care of you." After he's done leaving small love bites on your neck, Craig moves to your ear nipping the shell.

"Y-yeah that sounds...that sounds good." You move your hands up towards Craig, running your fingers through his hair. One of the rare moments he's not sporting his blue hat. "I could use a little break..."

"That's our girl." Clyde's praise goes straight to your core. He lifts you up from your office chair, hands cupping the back of your thighs for support. They give your thighs a little squeeze, digging his fingertips into your flesh.

Craig moves out of his way and goes to push your office chair back towards your desk. Clyde chuckles softly seeing the confused look on your face. Instead of protesting you wrap your arms around the brunette lazily throwing your arms around his neck.

"We're supposed to be relaxing, we're gonna get nice and comfy on the couch." He drops you down on the couch, making you bounce a bit. He laughs when you let out a gasp of surprise.

"You ass." Your grumbles fall on deaf ears. Clyde just runs his fingers through your hair and gives it a harsh tug. It makes you cry out, craning your neck up towards him.

"Sweetheart, that's not very nice. You're being a brat right now." He tuts, feigning disappointment.

"You dropped me on the-" You suck in another cry when he tugs your head to the side, that firm grip on your roots sending a shiver down your spine.

"Hm? You were saying something? I did what?"

Clyde's smug little smirk made your blood boil. But his fingers in your hair felt too good to protest further. Especially when he switched between tugging and massaging his fingertips into your scalp. You watched his eyes flicker from yours to behind you. Before you could turn around to get a glimpse of what he was staring at, Craig's hands slid down your back.

Gently, much more than Clyde, he pushes you down towards Clyde. His other hand comes down to grab your ankle, pulling your leg back towards him. Once your knee is tucked against the couch, he does the same to the other leg.

If your face wasn't burning up before it certainly is now. Just as you go to hold yourself up with your hands, Clyde removes his hand from your hair and takes you by the wrist. Guiding you up towards him, he places them on the hems of his sweatpants. The grey university sweatpants do little to hide his hardening cock, you watch it twitch against the fabric.

"This is about where you left off right? She was about to take the Father's cock out of his pants?" Clyde says watching as you slowly pull his sweatpants down. He lets out a low chuckle that turns into a moan when you slip your fingers around his cock. "That's it, now keep your eyes on me baby."

There's a moment of hesitation as you bring the tip closer to your mouth. The bright red tip glides across your plump lips begging for you to open. His hand returns to your hair, smoothing down your locks from his earlier manhandling.

The gentle touch makes you look up towards him, just like he requested. There really was something so intimate about those chocolate brown eyes of his. Past that smirk and layers of darkened lust, there was devotion. The feeling of your hands on him alone made him weak in the knees. You put that to the test, pressing just a little kiss on the tip. Dabbing your tongue against his leaking member. Just from that alone he's letting out the prettiest moans.

"Sh-shit, c’mon don't tease me." That cocky attitude of his melts. You almost laugh at how easy it is to break him down. He was puddy in your hands.

With a little hum you move your hand up and down his shaft, creating enough friction to make him buck his hips towards you. He nudges his cock further into your mouth, pushing past your lips. The underside of his cock glides down against your tongue, smearing the pre-cum along with it.

So caught up in your little game, you almost forgot about Craig behind you. Almost. It's hard to forget him when he's got his hands all over you. Large palms cupping any exposed skin. Craig takes his time exploring every curve he can get ahold of. His nose nuzzled into the back of your head. His breath tickling the shell of your ear. Just the sight of your mouth around Clyde's member alone is enough to make him growl.

Neither men are patient when it comes to you. Craig shoves whatever is left of your pajamas down and off you, he doesn't bother with your shirt as it'll pull you away from your lover. Instead, he decides it'll make the perfect handle. He bunches it up until it collects at the collar. His hands grip the shirt and tug it backwards, making your hips rock back into him.

Somewhere along the way he stripped away his pants. The barrier between the both of you was the thin material of your underwear and his dark blue boxers. While Craig wasn't as vocal as Clyde was, with his teasing and little whimpers, he could be just as unfair if not more.

Grinding against your cunt slowly, grabbing and groping at your ass the entire time. He digs his nails into your skin, leaving little crescent moons. Craig rewards good behavior not with sweet words, but by giving you what you so desperately want.

He waits until you've got all of Clyde's cock in your mouth before he finally shoves your underwear down. It makes it to your knees before he just decides to leave them there. Too many times he got impatient and just ripped them off, and too many times you scolded him for it.

The hand in your hair pulls you back from his cock. Clyde moves your head back just enough to where only the tip remains, then slowly he brings you back down. Pushing you all the way down his length until your nose hits his stomach. You watch as his muscles flex under his skin like he's trying to resist letting his head lull back. He needs so badly to keep his eyes on yours, loving the attention you're giving him.

"Your mouth feels so good." He whines when he reaches the back of your throat. You gag around him, and it pulls another whimper from him.

Your hand slides down his thighs, using it to hold you up. The other hand is still being held by Clyde's grip. His hand wrapped around your wrist, holding it up near his shoulder. Craig waits until Clyde rocks you back again, using the momentum to slip inside your wet folds. A pleased hum rumbles from his chest. You can feel it from how he's pressing his entire body against yours.

Just as slowly as Clyde moves your head, Craig pushes further into your cunt. The two find a slow and steady rhythm with one another. When Craig snaps his hips against you, it pushes Clyde's cock further down your throat. Your moans vibrating around him causing him to moan loudly in return. Clyde's whimpers and whines get louder when you dig your nails into his thighs. In return the grip on your hair is tightened. Creating this delicious cycle of pleasure.

"Baby, please. I wanna fuck your throat. You gonna let me? I need it so bad, please." Clyde's begging spurs something in you. Gives you the feeling of control even if you’re physically stuck between the two. From the beads of sweat that trail down his body and the way his body is shaking, you know he's at his limit.

You're able to pull back just enough, his cock springs up with a little bounce. Craig slows down just enough to let you talk, but you can tell he's not happy about it. The way his grip on your shirt tightens, you're sure he'll rip it soon.

"If I snap my fingers, you stop, okay?" You say giving him the okay. He caresses your face and presses a kiss onto your face, letting you know he understands the boundaries you've set.

At first, he's careful when he pushes his cock back into your mouth. You reward him with a swirl of your tongue, rubbing against the veins that are popping out.

"He's so needy." Craig huffs as he leans back up. The assault on your neck stops, but he's left it covered in bright red and purple marks. No amount of makeup will cover up what he's done.

You don't need to see him to know that he's smirking at it. Taking pride in the fact that he's marked you up. Or the pride making Clyde blush from his comment.  Craig's hips snap back into you, the force much sharper than his previous lazy thrusts. They're calculated, each time he pushes deep inside you he hits that spot that has you seeing stars. Clyde's hips take up the same pace, shoving his cock into the back of your throat.

Tears begin to well up in your eyes, trickling down your cheeks. Moans turn to muffled cries, yet everything feels too good to stop. They're rough paced fucking brings your mind to a haze. All you can focus on is feeling good and making them feel good.

Craig's close, you can tell from the way he starts to lose rhythm. He's having a harder time controlling those grunts and growls. A hard time not leaving bruises on your skin from how rough he's holding onto you. He's long since let your shirt go, instead grabbing onto the back of the couch. But he waits until he feels that familiar clench around his cock. The way your walls clamp down around him as you cum. The only warning being the high-pitched muffled moan that gets swallowed by Clyde.

His hips slam into you one more time before he pulls out. Grabbing the base of his cock, he shoots that hot thick load onto your back. Heavy amounts of cum drip down your spine making you whine and shiver. Clyde can't take his eyes off the way his partner paints your backside. It makes a trail of drool slip down his chin.

The poor man can't do it anymore, he can't stop his eyes from rolling up to the back of his head. Not when your moans vibrate up him and your throat tightens from choking on him. He needs this release.

"I'm gonna cum baby. Please, let me cum. Let me cum in your mouth." Clyde all but cries in between panting. His begging dissolves into your name and the word please over and over again.

His flickering eyes catch yours again. It's when you give him a little wink and a hum, his cock violently twitches and cum spills from his tip. His cum is sweeter than normal, it makes it easier to swallow.

Slowly he pulls out of your mouth with one final whimper. It isn't until Craig swipes his thumb over his cheek that you realize he had tears streaming down them. Clyde presses his cheek into Craig's hand and lets out a pleased sigh. Once he knows Clyde is okay, Craig stands up and goes to get a towel to help clean your back. He does the same to your face, swiping away the left-over tears.

"Feeling better?" Clyde asks as he helps pull your underwear up. "Nice and relaxed?"

You nod and rest your head against his chest. "You've got good ideas sometimes."

"I've got wrinkles on my brain." He smirks to himself, taking your little praise miles.

Craig comes back after tossing the towel in the dirty laundry with a large blanket. He throws it over both of you before climbing in next to you. He lays his head down on Clyde's and grabs the tv remote.

"Kitchen Nightmare or Hell’s Kitchen?"

"Kitchen Nightmares! I need some petty British accents after my orgasm denial!"

You scrunch up your nose at Clyde’s comment. Almost wanting to pull back. "Smooth brain behavior."

"Smooth brain behavior." Craig chimes in.

The three of you relax into the couch, almost ready for the group nap that comes with the afterglow of love making. That is until inspiration strikes you again. Your eyes light up and you go to wiggle out of their hold. But Craig's arms are faster, they keep you firm against his chest. Clyde's hands come down a moment later, cupping your hips.

"Nope. You're staying right here."

"Guys! No! I just figured out how I'm gonna get that chapter finished! You gotta let me go! I gotta do it!" Your pleads are wasted, like they're not even heard.

"No. You're warm and I'm tired."

"That's not my fault or my problem."

"I'm making it your problem. Sit still."

"You know Tucker bear isn't going to let go. You're fighting a losing battle babe." Craig at least has the decency to let Clyde finish before pinching him. You know Clyde's nickname for him makes him grumpy. His little yelp makes you giggle.

"Fine....at least until you fall asleep."

"Look if you think you can get out of his hold, then be my guest. You earned it at that point." Clyde's smirk returns. He throws his leg over yours and tucks it in between Craig's knees.

"Fuck you." Your eyes narrow up at him. He's not as slick as he thinks he is, trying to cage you in with a sleepy Craig.

"Again? So soon. You're insatiable babe. Let us recover first." Clyde presses a kiss into the top of your head, pulling back before you can headbutt him.

His hand guides your head back down onto his chest and he just chuckles. It doesn't take long before Craig is passed out with his head nuzzled into the curve of your waist. Holding you like a teddy bear against his chest. Clyde's smile grows when he sees you trying to fight off sleep. But it eventually takes you and you lose the battle. He turns the tv down just a bit, deciding to join the both of you.

That chapter can wait another day.

[smokbeast]

AFTER SO LONG, THEIR REF IS DONE. my take at sun and moon :]

Lil silly hcs of em I have below..

Moondrop

- moon is 7'9, a little bit taller and lankier than sun due to his flexible and athletic ability as a security retrieval unit bot. Hence the claws, sharp teeth and speed, he's meant to retrieve any rogue animatronic (ex. Freddy or monty) that is out of its station. Or any intruder that unfortunately enters the place Compared to sun who doesn't have that programming (or did, it's now deactivated but can still be triggered slightly)

- he's overly hyper around kids and those he's comfortable around. But when it's other staff members or people, moon will tend to calm down if not just not acknowledge you. The mans like a cat, he will not care about you unless your his favorite

-doesn't really smile at anyone but those he cares about. You will always see this guy scowling or just bored, don't take it personally. He just simply doesn't care about anyone but his own babygirls and kids.

-moon will curse, absolutely all the damn time. Sun hates it. Poe LOVEs it. Sun beats them up cause he's a bad influence to hope about it.

-he loves crawling on the walls like a lil freak to Jumpscare anyone. Particularly craig. It doesn't work on hope tho.

-moon is incredibly attached to craig and his sister, he sees him like a small child to take care of and coddles him to PLS rest cause he never does (even if Craig is 25). But essentially he imprinted himself like a guardian figure to craig, at least that's how moon sees it. Craig still thinks he's a annoying freak (affectionate)

- his temper is rather short, it doesn't seem like it in hindsight but you can get on moon's badside very quickly.

-he tend to loaf around like a cat and bend in ways when he flops asleep anywhere. Sometimes he curls around sun, hope or craig like a cage as a protective habit. It becomes hard to untangle him tho.

-his clothes and body can glow in the dark as a comfort for children! However sometimes his mouth can glow too and that's just for him to be a lil cheshire cat asshole to scare people HFKDK

-both of moons eyes were originally white like sun's however side effects of the virus still lingered slightly even after his new body was built so they seemed to have stuck to those colors.

- Craig built his new body! Using old schematics and new ones he made himself with moon's preferences to finally help him out of the faulty virus with sun. It took quite a bit to help adjust to his new body. His hands and face are made of a soft silicone padding to be safe for children and his claws can hide like a cat's (he's just a cat really JFKFK)

-moon actually has somr canes for when he needed help to use his body. He technically still uses them whenever his limbs feel too tired or overexherted from certain actions

-moon uses solar power in the daytime to charge.

Sunrise

- sunny is 7'5", still pretty tall but not as much as moon who is basically freddy sized.

- his model was upgraded to be similar to moon after craig built them a new body to help fix any left over potential errors in their programming.

- before he called himself sundrop as a mix with moon's name when they shared a single body. Now that they're separate his original name continues as sunrise once again. Though he prefer sunny, Mr sun, and sundrop (only by moon and poe).

-despite being the sun animatronic, sun is very gentle and calm compared to moon. He of course has the same zoomy moments as moon. But they're a little toned down sometimes to help with any children who have overstimulation issues (moon has a similar concept but he's insane cause of his security program at night) he's very motherly in nature and tends to be overly sweet to even naughty kids to try to coax them out of their attitude to avoid banning them (he doesn't like doing that. Except for Gregory fuck that kid HRKDKD)

- sun also has claws and sharp teeth (old security program from moon) but he never uses them and prefers not to. If he's VERY upset, then perhaps they'll activate like a tick but he hates them. His claws are all battered and chewed up from anxiety trauma from moon's virus and no matter how much craig replaces them sun does it again so he gave up on it.

-sun has chewing and some harmful Stims to himself that he can't help but do when he's stressed. Moon and poe try to calm him out of it as best they can by keeping him company when he's alone or giving him stim toys when he's taking care of children. The bell on his neck was given to him by poe for that! (The one for moon also as a complimentary to sun :])

-sun is clingy, hates to be alone and tends to always be around moon or poe. He HATES being along and it scares him after the long years of not being able to interact with moon out of fear of that virus they had. It got him very bad and he just can't be by himself anymore without moon alongside him or poe to talk to. (They don't mind they love being clingy with each other)

-when moon got his body, sun essentially gave him physical therapy to help moon adjust to moving.

-sun loves putting stickers on everything. His face, on moon, on the kids or poe. If you see stickers everywhere its not just the kids it's sun's love language UFKDKk.

-sun patrols the late afternoon of the plex before night time just to be sure there are no lost children (or adults,,,) after the place has closed.

- He's not quite used to leaving the daycare and there was a time before moon got his body where sun had an intense agoraphobia to leave, afraid he might hurt others if the lights went out and he wasn't locked in the daycare to avoid hurting anyone. Poe helped him out of this fear afterward

-sun loved making art and bouncing around. His favorite thing to do is origami you'll see many little origami animals of certain fellas he works with as a cute love language. He'll also always be ontop of poe or clinging on moon, when he's not he's busy cleaning and being a cute lil gay sunshine boy.

- sun also loves singing. He doesn't have a music box like moon but he tends to hum and sing on his own (from his old theater programming) and you'll see him reenacting some musicals while cleaning in the most dramatic way with his broom or the toys around the daycare. Sometimes moon will dance around with him and try to sing and poe would too (reluctantly)

-he loves cuddling with moon and poe in a pile in his room full of pillows and plushies.

-like moon, sun is very attached to hope and her brother. Particularly the young child as he's very protective and guilt ridden from the incident he had with her thr first night she came to the daycare where moon accidentally hurt her as the lights went out. Theyll never forgive themselves for that, even if hope doesn't mind. But he's always around the little kid and thinks of her as his own, and sometimes hope has slipped "dad" at sun which has made the sun attendant malfunction incredibly in the best way. But he'll always play with her anything she wants and keep her company with moon since hope doesn't like socializing with other kids.

-if you curse he'll actually throw you. And sun is INCREDIBLY strong.

-sun uses moonlight to charge himself in the night time!

[matchbet-allofthetime]

Hi again! I melted over the Boone hcs—the way you write him is so good. Can I request your nsfw ramblings about Boone too? I just know his trigger finger could be put to good use…elsewhere 😩

VERY good use anon, you've read my mind 😉

Enjoy my excited horny rambling about Craig Boone below the cut ✨

Boone NSFW HCs:

-this man has a damn quick and steady trigger finger, and that extends to how he can fuck you with his fingers.

-he's a big boy by all accounts, and that gives him thick fingers, thick thighs and arms, and a thick dick.

-he can and WILL go commando, and that dick WILL be slung over the curve of his hip right where you can see it no matter what pants he wears

-he doesn't talk much unless you get him in a rare conversational mood at the best of times without fucking him. Despite that, he will absolutely mumble muffled praises and promises no matter how hard he's slamming his hips against your own

-definitely open for a poly relationship with you and a certain blonde doctor 👀

-casually constantly horny. Never stops.

-can and will keep going- like any other situation, puts both his endurance and strength to use

-puts that oral fixation and his habit of staying quieter to good use, because he WILL stuff his mouth with cock or cunt within moments of you telling him he can

-unnaturally long tongue, just a strange genetic trait. Serves him well when he pleasures partners

-dude will wilfully ignore arousal in lieu of his work but does get worked up if you tease enough to piss him off

-a touch possessive, mostly because he worries so much- leads often to him using a broad palm to press against your spine (or Arcade's, if he's also in on it all) to pin you down under him

-prefere giving over receiving, but if you do give, he certainly won't complain. It's one of few ways he gets vocal though, so be mindful

-takes as much as he gives. So if he ducks you hard, he expects you to fuck him harder right after

-silent touches and the holding of hands, even if he's rough

-only real exception to this is if he's pinned your hands or has both hands on your hips; he just loves being able to feel his partner(s) there with him

-king of aftercare tbh; despite growing up in the wastes, he's no less attentive of a partner. He is a sniper, after all, and he will notice every little wince or tightening of muscles even if you don't realize it.

-ultimately leads to him soothing kisses over soft bruising in the shapes of his fingers and teeth

-speaking of teeth, he likes to nibble! Not too hard, but he puts those sharp teefies to good use and thoroughly enjoys kissing into soft skin just to sink his teeth in a little bit.

-always makes sure to pay attention to all bites, bruises, and other aches and marks whenever it's said and done.

-regardless of gender, if he's fucking you from behind, spooning you to fuck you, or missionary- if his hand can support itself against your belly, it will 100% of the time unless he's preoccupied with something else

-likely stems from a need to protect that can and will get incredibly snippish toward those who aren't with him

-this man doesn't get jealous for the life of him, but he DOES get pissy when someone flirts with who he's with, primarily when they know he's with them

-leads to rough fucking just to be sure his partner(s) are marked fully. Followed quickly by tender, slow sex just so he can relax and worship

-he sounds he makes tend to be deeper grunts, and the sucking in of air in sharp, harsh intervals.

-but you can make him cry when it's tender enough, and you'll get soft whines and delightful noises of pleasure from him if you let him lose himself in it all

-switch, and can easily change that day to day. Most often a dominant bottom or a service top unless he's in a particular mood

-will happily get on his knees for a partner

-scrape your fingers through his buzzed hair- you can't pull it, hasn't been long in years, but it still riles him up

-bite at his wrist and kiss across his knuckles or kiss and suck little marks into his jaw and throat; that'll all have him worked up and anxious to bend you over just to see the arch of your spine

-the type of attentive to stuff a pillow under your hips but ignore the pain in his own knees

-prone to sub drops, so be very tender with him

-doesn't like admitting it for a long while, but he likes spanking to a lesser degree, and also has a thing for pain play

-it's NEVER enough to cause genuine damage, but he thinks reddened and swollen skin on a partner from the sheer size and weight of his hands is hotter than sin

-also likes sticking his fingers in a partner's mouth; the muffled sucking gets his brain hazy in the best way

-will put in HOURS when able just learning your body, learning what makes you tick and what has you teetering over the edge faster

-as per my much more sfw post, I expressed that I think he has nipple piercings. I think he'd have gotten them early into the NCR, likely as a dare or whatever, then found he liked them and never took them out

-I ALSO think he's the type of cheeky to have a Prince Albert. It's a hassle in the wasteland at times, but then, what isn't?

-shove a cock down his throat until he's sobbing with pleasure; he doesn't have a gag reflex and any choking that occurs is either by your hands, his own, or him struggling to breathe through tears of want

-likewise, he will choke someone lightly. It's mostly just his hand resting against a partner's throat and giving reassuring squeezes, but it makes him feel like he's protecting them in a way

-ride his thighs, PLEASE ride those thick ass thighs! He is not a small man by any means, and if you suck hickies into his throat and scratch at the tattoos on his broad back while rolling your hips against his thigh, hoooo boy, he will fucking ruin you

-is down for quickies when out and about in the wastes, but generally holds off unless he's angry, teased too long, or until you're back in a safe place (typically the Lucky 38, or if everyone else is gone for the time being, the Old Mormon Fort)

-is cheekiest when taking it up the ass, I don't make the rules. Can be a bit of a cocky tease, if not a downright soft brat

-ask him to keep the beret on and he'll cum in his pants in seconds.

-this dude fucks nasty AND sweet. Ends up with some curious but enjoyable experiences

-hates orgasm denial, but adores overstimulation every time

-he's patient but orgasm denial leaves him feeling more pissed off than eager

-but he'd like to be a shaking mess- or make his partner into one- or both! So make sure to use it

-will try to toy with partners under tables. He doesn't give a fuck, he will have a hand on your thigh and will stroke you then and there

[chmieldog]

OOOOOU I LOVE MESSY KYLE !!! what hcs do you have for the girls then ?? like wendy, nichole, heidi etcetc 🤭🤭

i decided i'm not motivated enough to draw any other lineups so i'm releasing my high school sp girls headcanons

wendy: fashion-wise always rocks small shirt + big pants combo; wears glasses and braces (crooked bottom teeth); she's of somali and german descent. can speak arabic fluently; the president of the student council; is so stressed her periods became irregular; likes nail art and is obsessed with watching beauty youtubers, as a result she puts even more pressure on herself following insane skin care and hair routines; has an awful time fitting in with other girls, especially since it's hard to invite her anywhere; has beef with all of stan's friends except for tolkien; her room is an organized mess. goes literally insane when her mom cleans it without her consent; has pet fish she's very anxious about

nichole: i see her in Very specific outfits that people on pinterest call whimsy twee. i have no idea how it's actually called; she's deep into dark fantasy and horror; very defensive about twilight because it was her first baby step into the genre; has a book review youtube channel that is doing pretty decent; best friends with wendy; is the mysterious cool girl in their school who is always seen wearing headphones; is also in student council and is the only other person treating it seriously besides wendy; hosts regular dnd nights with tolkien, stan, tammy nelson, scott and sophie (butters and eric are BANNED); hates heidi and red with a passion

heidi: has this...very white girl starbucks obsessed but in a millenial way fashion. i don't fucking know how to explain it; is the insane bpd girl stereotype the internet warned you about; ever since her relationship with eric she's struggling with an eating disorder and low self esteem; still bigoted and rude as fuck to her girl friends; best friends with red; makes being a biology nerd her main personality trait; hates bebe just because she's kyle's girlfriend; huge victim complex; cares deeply for animals and volunteers at an animal shelter; is vegan and insists on making her own food from scratch because of paranoia

bebe: has wore many fashion styles but 90% of her outfits have to include something red; very into fashion in general, plans to have a career out of it; i think of her as extremely rachel from friends core; gets accidentally pregnant in 3rd year and is obsessed with the idea of being a mom. a critical case of baby fever. she's insane; has a HORRIBLE taste in men that she's ashamed of; huge following on tiktok, she makes outfit videos but gained the most popularity from being unintentionally very funny; always prioritizes herself and her well being first but she's still kind; is very knowledgeable in some topics and a total idiot in the rest, so people can never decide if she's smart or dumb; when she was little she learned the negative effects of boy attention the hard way and became a dedicated girls' girl. she does not care about men's opinion on anything; has a little sister; loves parties

red: always makes sure to dress in a way that makes her get sent to the principal's office; school's most toxic bisexual; no one actually knows what her political or moral stance is. she's extremely chaotic neutral in everything she does; makes money off selling thrifted clothes for higher prices. very evil; is very pissed off that stan is taken, which actually doesn't stop her from flirting with him anyway; wendy fucking hates her btw; feeds butters misinformation for fun; has younger brothers that absolutely love her; she's the future cool wine aunt; is the first out of the girls to get her license. but before that drove around without it anyway; craig is her gay best friend. he did not consent to this