#excath

[fanboy-feminist]

[the-winds-indecision]

Said Cain to his mother, "Am I my brother's keeper?"

Eve kneels in front of him, the boy barely old enough to understand what he is asking. Takes his face in her hand, looks him in the eye.

"Yes."

He must watch out for his younger brother, must keep him safe, must teach him how to be a boy, must make sure he knows how to pray and how to find his way home (though, to Cain, they are one and the same). He smiles at the boy who toddles behind him through the garden, mud up to his knees and elbows, smudged across his nose. This boy has his heart - he would be his brother's keeper even without his mother's word.

The first time Cain finds himself with Abel's blood on his hands, he doesn't know what to do. Abel lies bleeding in the garden - his knee is skinned and the blood is everywhere - it seeps into the soil and stains the stone and it is so sticky and red on Cain's hands as he cries for his mother.

Cain cries as Eve bandages Abel. He is still crying when Abel runs back outside to play in the garden. Cain is his brother's keeper. He should have been keeping a closer eye on his brother, should have told him to be careful, should have run slower, should have --

The rocks in the garden dig into his knees as he prays forgiveness. It feels right. It feels deserved. He stays out there until the ground is cold, the blood long since dried, and long after his mother has called him in for dinner.

* * * * *

Said Cain to his father, "Am I my brother's keeper?"

His father's back is turned but Cain can almost hear Adam roll his eyes.

"Yes."

Abel is a young man now, and almost never home. It is somehow Cain's job to know his brother's whereabouts, Cain's job to make sure his brother is home for dinner, Cain's job to ease his mother's mind when his brother is out after dark or before sunrise. Cain is, after all, his brother's keeper.

Cain has never known what it means to be a boy, to be a man, yet he has taught his brother without fail. He, however, has only ever known what it means to be the older brother. He knows that when his fathers feet ache, it is his job to pull the plow. When Eve tends the hearth until she collapses with fever it is his job to work in her stead. And his job to care for his mother as she rests.

When Abel comes home bloodied, his mother cries and his father scolds. Cain simply sighs, and hangs a pot of water over the fire. Pulls out the scrap cloth and soap. Abel grins as he regales his brother with the day’s adventure.  Doesn’t notice that the only response is a smile and a tired nod. 

Cain is the last person awake that night - tired body slumped by the dying fire as he washes his brother’s blood from his hands for the hundredth time. Cain is, after all, his brother’s keeper.

* * * * *

The last time Cain has Abel’s blood on his hands, he doesn’t know what to do.  Just stands still, sways in the breeze, watches as the blood paints the stones, paints the soil, paints his hands.  There is so much blood on his hands.  Cain knows he cannot hide from his Lord.  There is only so much time until he is pressed for a reason.  He should think - he should know what he is to say. 

He just stands there.  

Cain doesn’t know who he is without Abel.  He is - he was his brother’s keeper.  If not the older brother, who is he anymore?

It is not long before the footsteps approach and a voice sounds from behind.  Cain dares not turn to meet the gaze of the speaker.

"And where, Cain, is your brother?"

Said Cain to his Lord, "am I my brother's keeper?" and for the first time -

"No."

[levi-unpacks-purity-culture]

anti-lent sex-ed sunday #1

this post is part of the 40 day s of anti-lent posting that i'm doing on my main @the-winds-indecision - feel free to follow along there as well!

okay my first suggestion is to get familiar with your downstairs anatomy.  lock yourself in the bathroom or your bedroom with a hand mirror and actually take a look.  to some of you this might sound silly, but the church filled me with such sexual shame that i didn’t actually take a proper look at my own anatomy until i was almost 18.  not groovy.  so grab a mirror and poke around.  learn what you look like from as many different angles as you can manage.  if you have sufficient internet privacy, consider googling “anatomical diagram of *insert genitalia here* and look for a trustworthy medical website in the general search results.  part of the way the church exerts control is by restricting knowledge, but once you have that knowledge, it can’t be taken away

[johnmybelovved]

The cutesy anime catholicism mascot makes me so uncomfortable on so many levels cause it's like, first of all this feels like heresy or idolatry or something which still just instinctively icks me (ex cath) but also more importantly why are we trying to make the catholic church cute and marketable or something. Why does the catholic church need a little mascot you can sell plushies of to kids. It's so genuinely sick and insidious this kind of behavior from christian institutions like that & so many people I've seen talking about it aren't taking it that seriously & it makes me feel kind of insane

[piosplayhouse]

I'm sorry for harping on it but I do truly think the rise of "comship dni" is possibly the funniest and most indicative symbol of what modern fandom discourse has become because like. The only reason someone would know what "comship" means is because they're already deeply entrenched in shipping discourse and already identify as someone who disapproves of "problematic" content. So who is the target for this. Because people who aren't already firmly on the side of anti "problematic shipping" have no idea what this means so like who is this filtering out. There's just such a weird gap in perspective alignment here literally just like being a Roman Catholic and saying dni atheists/independent Catholics

[hypo-critic-al]

There’s something so astounding about working in a job that has ties to a catholic church, looking up icons of saints (work related task), sipping from a bottle with a virgin Mary sticker, all while being an atheist and listening to Genetically Modified Skeptic’s videos about satanism.

[killjoyconstruct]

pov your guardian angel just came down from heaven to give you advice and the first thing you said to them was "would"

featuring vessel and psyche because this wasn't supposed to be an angel/unnamed excath doodle dump originally

[mell0bee]

tagged by @candiedjellybean thank u dude!!! im p sure ive done this tag sometime last year so will be interesting to see if my answers have changed

Are you named after anyone? unfortunately, st. brigid of ireland, but also apparently it's a name thats been in my dad's side of the family too? either way my parents knew of the name due to irish catholic reasons. yipee! though im cool with it bc st. brigid used to be the goddess brigid from irish myth, and also both of them were badasses <3

When was the last time you cried? .....genuinely i think the last time i cried was in like. early march when i watched the holdovers? i think? taking a break from college has greatly decreased the frequency at which i cry lmao

Do you have kids? no sir

Do you use sarcasm a lot? i guess yes? probably about as much as the average person (this is not sarcasm)

What sports do you play? i do not play any currently (though i probs should. i am built like a twig and a strong wind will knock me over.) but as a kid i used to play soccer which i hated and was god awful at and softball which i liked more but i was also god awful at and mostly spent my time hitting foul balls and playing with the grass in right field. but it was fun!

What’s the first thing you notice about people? uhhhhhh. uh?????? if they're wearing a cool outfit or have cool hair or smth? idk man. i guess i dont rlly think abt it?

What’s your eye color? brown

Scary movies or happy endings? uh. both? am p sure my tolerance for horror is a lot higher than most people and im always down for a tragedy but i also like happy endings too. though from a writing perspective happy endings are significantly easier to pull off than sad ones (& more common. hero's journey and all that).

Any special talents? uhhhhh im double jointed in my thumbs. also i can put my foot behind my head. is that a talent? im also working on my sudoku time, i think my lowest time for master difficulty is around 6 mins 30 seconds? which is uh. above average?? i think???

Where were you born? idk apparently they cloned me in a lab somewhere

What are your hobbies? lately playing a lot of video games, writing (mostly fanfic), art stuff (mostly drawing but am learning how to use watercolor), uhhhh.... ttrpgs but i havent gotten to play in a while sadly

Do you have any pets? dog!!!!!

How tall are you? 5'3

Favourite subject in school? science

Dream job? ahahahah funny you should ask that, i say, having been doubting my choices in career aspirations and my post-undergrad 5-year plan that i've had since high school for the past 7 months, (please send help. but. for a serious answer. i think i still want to do science research? just maybe in a softer science like psych even tho my undergrad is bio & neuro???? idk. unsure.)

tagging uhhhhhhh candiedjellybean already tagged most of the ppl i usually tag sooo @halflingkima ? i think i tagged u last time too lol. & anyone else who wants to do this!!!

[recovering-catholic]

I hope everyone reading this has had a peaceful holiday season. If you haven't, I hope you can rest and recharge soon.

Sending much love to all apostates, deconstructors, questioners, and black sheep. 💜

P.S. I haven't used this account as often in the last few months. My posting and interactions on here tend to come in waves. I have some asks to answer and I'll get to those when I can.

[fanboy-feminist]

What are Kamala Harris’ plans to fix my catholic guilt?

[the-winds-indecision]

if i were to make a 40 antilent daily suggestions type thing, would y'all be interested in that? i think it'd be fun

lent is coming up next month (starting on valentines day, gross) and i kinda wanna make a 40 anti lent suggestions post

[levi-unpacks-purity-culture]

anti-lent sex-ed sunday #2: different types of sex. 

for today’s mini-sex-ed lesson, i’m going to be defining different types of sex.  i’m doing this because the church deprived me of knowledge.  i didn’t even know what “oral sex” meant until i was 17 years old, and then i thought it only meant sucking dick (see: church definition of sex as penetrative by nature).  definitions below the cut.

piv: an acronym for penis-in-vagina.  it’s the thing that comes to mind first for most people when they think “sex”

oral: any kind of sex that involves using the mouth to sexually pleasure another person (or people) this includes putting the mouth on a penis, vagina, or anus.  if people say giving/performing oral, they’re referring to the person using their mouth and if people say receiving oral they’re referring to the person who is getting pleasure from somebody else’s mouth

anal: the act of penetrating the anus.  usually this implies penetration with a penis, but can also refer to penetration with fingers or toys.  this type of sex can also be referred to as pegging, but pegging usually refers to the specific situation of someone with a vagina using a strap-on to penetrate their partner

tribbing: the act of two people with vaginas grinding against each other. this type of sex is also called scissoring

frotting: the act of two people with penises grinding against each other.  this type of sex is non-penetrative

fingering: fingering refers to penetrative sex using the fingers.  this can refer to penetration of the vagina or the anus

hand job: the act of using the hand(s) to pleasure another person.  usually this is referring to pleasuring someone’s vagina or penis, and not their anus

mutual masturbation: the act of two (or more) people giving each other a hand job at the same time

note: as a trans person i feel like it's important to add that while these are the technical definitions, people can and do use words that are technically incorrect in order to affirm the gender of one or more people involved. for example, as a trans guy, i tend towards using phrases like "suck my dick" despite not having that anatomy. remember that it's never a bad idea to check in with people about how to use language in a way that affirms them :)

[shadowsbrainrot]

dean is nearly explicitly queer

sam is metaphorically queer

and idk what to do with this information

[myfriendskickass]

@vergess i had some thoughts in the group chat

[killjoyconstruct]

Whumptober Day 22: Bleeding Through Bandages

Don't worry about it.

[nomaishuttle]

quaker and amish are the most kentucky of the semifinal denominations so of course i have to represent them