#ex moose
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shiloh-dynasty99 · 2 years ago
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This is a question to other ex Muslims, as someone who's an ex muslim but shaky in their lack of faith.
As an ex muslim, there're moments where I find my religious brainwashing come over me and I suddenly find myself panicking out of fear and think, what if islaam is real after all? What if I do end up going to hell?
What are some things that you use to ground yourself when this happens? What are some things I islaam that are undoubtedly incorrect, that gauruntee that islaam is fake? How can I be secure in my atheism and lack of belief in islaam?
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sweet-nothing26 · 9 months ago
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This past month i lost two of my closest friends which i have considered to be so close to my heart and for the first time in my life, i have truly understood the heartbreak that comes from ending a relationship with another human being whether it's platonic or romantic. As taylor swift has emphasized before, friendship breakups can be just as intense as romantic ones and it was until this month that i truly understood what she meant.
My friends or shall i say ex friends, challenged me amid a silly misunderstanding to bring out something that i bring into our friendship since they have to endure the looks of judgements and the outcast treatment for their association with me. An atheist, someone who doesn't believe in the abrahamic god (how dare she), someone who doesn't have a religion to guide them in this life, someone who lacks a moral compass, as they claim. In 2024 i made a pact with myself to STOP over explaining my stance. This includes but not limited to, my morals, my values, my beliefs or lack thereof, my identity, my whims, dreams...etc especially to someone who will never ever open their mind to accept a perspective or pov other the one their communities feed them regularly. Trying to humanize myself in a society that will forever paint atheists and non believers in a bad light since its beginning is a mistake and a waste of time, energy and my mental sanity.
For me, i thought friendship was about accepting the beautiful and ugly parts of your friends and seeing their imperfections as little quirks that just makes them who they are. I was wrong. I think this was a lesson for me to continue being a loner and never establish any deep relationship with muslims knowing they will drop you the moment they know who you truly are.
This is one of the many many beautiful things islam took away from me. The ability to make friends and connect with people. Because no matter what i do, i'm seen as a bad person who you shouldn't associate yourself with if you're a believer. I could lead you to the path of sin and disobedience. A path where you hypothetically question the absurdities that your community has fed u. A path where reason is put before faith.
Some people might say that i should stop victimizing myself and being a victim in every scenario since life is unfair for everyone and i should just stop bitching and moaning non stop. But aren't I a victim in a society where i know there are a hundred thousand people who would want me dead? Aren't I a victim in a society where the law prosecutes blasphemers for using our ''god'' given right to speak freely about the things that hurt us? Aren't I a victim for being named an abomination, a disgrace, a heathen? Aren't i a victim for facing hate crime? Aren't I a victim as a liberal ex muslim woman in a conservative islamic state?
Honestly, i rest my case. I no longer resist the loneliness the atheist path has brought me, not that it's my fault. But befriending muslims is a waste of time regardless of how open or liberal they say they are. Conservative societies are about maintaining status no matter how miserable everyone within these societies is. They shall all paint themselves as obedient straight godly people and can never stray away from that image. Any minor inconveniences that they commit can break that illusion even the ones that don't involve them at all like associating themselves with the supposed heathens. That association in itself takes away that fake status quo and ''god'' knows they can't live with that.
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guylet-456 · 2 years ago
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I fuckint hate ramadaan and being a student so much dude. My concentration is completely gone and my brain cannot focus because of the fatigue and lack of nutrition and now I have to sit here and make an elaborate study plan where I have to study at 5am and 8pm onwards
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asinvisibleasmillard · 8 months ago
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So I’ve been questing my faith a lot more now that it’s Ramadan, before this I was practicing regularly and talking about it with friends. But lately, I’ve been feeling confused, maybe God has left me because I haven’t been doing enough for Him, maybe He hates me. I feel like everything is working against me.
I know this dunya is supposed to be a prison for believers but why does having faith make me feel even more trapped, I’ve been feeling depressed because of it.
I haven’t been able to fast yet, so maybe once I do things will change? I have so much grief and guilt about questioning and I can’t even talk to any of my friends about it because I don’t want them to see me differently. But ever since I’ve come to terms with idea that God may very well not exist, I’ve felt such relief and peace, the guilt I had for being alive stopped bothering me.
But I also feel angry, like I’ve been lied to. I know if I brought this up to my parent it would probably be daqan ceelis (forced overseas) for me in hopes I come back better. But staying here isn’t any better, instead i continue to be robbed of my money by my family and unable to form any kind of independence. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life faking, I want to leave this family but as a Somali, it’s extremely difficult.
Can anyone else relate or am I screaming into the void?
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dreamlogic · 10 months ago
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so my mom has a new puppy, she's a 3 mo old anatolian shepherd/irish wolf hound mix. get a load of the fucken paws on this beaft, she's like a bobcat
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m0ose-idiot · 2 years ago
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Shout out to Sex Lives of College Girls for joining Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, Sex Education, and Jane the Virgin in the pantheon of shows I have classified under "shows I initially didn't bother watching cos their names made them sound like some bullshit but then they turned out to be fricken rad and tres feminist" *chef's kiss* *muah*
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mooseonahunt · 1 year ago
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Oh so it’s okay for you (Dante) to write fanfiction (The Divine Comedy), but when I (some rando) write fanfiction (porn with no plot), I get A Look™️
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draculagerard · 1 year ago
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like be SOO serious. what was this about
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miniimoose · 2 years ago
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I just checked ry*n r*ynolds Tumblr in light of his goncharov posting
These tags are giving me mad Cole Sprouse flashbacks!! Ryan... We've been burned before... You cannot yet be trusted...
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shiloh-dynasty99 · 1 year ago
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My uncle was telling me I should give dawah...girl what 🤣🤣 I'm trying give anti-dawah😭😭 bitch I'm trying get people AWAY from this religion
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wandafiction · 9 months ago
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Just Us - Series List
Y/n is a multimillionaire. Wanda Maximoff is a divorced mum of two twin boys who is trying her best. What happens when their paths cross at a club and Y/n takes Wanda home for the night?
Warnings: This story is an 18+ read, Minors DNI, contains talks and description of Death, Accidents, Injury, Child Loss, Abuse (Physical and Emotional), Anxiety, Panic Attacks, Suggestive themes, Smut (Each Chapter With Themes Explained), Angst (Lots of It), And Some Fluff Thrown in because I felt bad. Top Reader, Bottom Wanda
Each chapter will come with their own warnings.
This is a story that I have put up on my Wattpad and my Ao3 and thought I would share it here for more of you wonderful people. I do hope you enjoy this read. There will be mistakes here and there and maybe some incorrect translations.
So this is an AU story with the MCU characters. So the ages and story lines with be changed and different from that in the movies. 
I will right some history for each character as the story progresses just so ages and other things make sense. 
All the Character's in this are played by their respective actors and certain aspects of the MCU have been added in. But once again its not going to be an alternative marvel story it is a completely different universe. 
I don't own any if the MCU characters.
Master List
Chapter List
Chapter 1 - Yours or Mine
Chapter 2 18+ - First Time
Chapter 3 - How Much
Chapter 4 18+ - Beautiful
Chapter 5 - Accent
Chapter 6 - The Twins
Chapter 7 - Just Add 8
Chapter 8 - Panic Attack
Chapter 9 - Sounds Like A date
Chapter 10 - Happy Tears
Chapter 11 - Twenty Percent
Chapter 12 - Favourite Colour
Chapter 13 - Ex-husbands Clothes
Chapter 14 18+ - Trust is Not Like Candy
Chapter 15 - Morning Bliss
Chapter 16 - Sisterly Advice
Chapter 17 - Lunch Date
Chapter 18 - Not By Blood, By Choice
Chapter 19 18+ - Frozen Peas
Chapter 20 - Scarlet Witch
Chapter 21 - Iron Man
Chapter 22 18+ - Love Language
Chapter 23 - The Friends
Chapter 24 - Hela's Kitchen
Chapter 25 - The Question
Chapter 26 - From Second To First
Chapter 27 - Mr Blue Sky
Chapter 28 - Protective Friend
Chapter 29 - It's Real To Me
Chapter 30 - Pile On
Chapter 31 18+ - Water Fight
Chapter 32 - Head Scratches
Chapter 33 - Billy's Discovery
Chapter 34 - Superhero Trio
Chapter 35 - Pancakes and L Bombs.
Chapter 36 - 10 Out Of 10 Dive
Chapter 37 - Tickle Monster
Chapter 38 - Sarah Stark
Chapter 39 - Love Persevering
Chapter 40 - First Meeting
Chapter 41 - Hear, Listen, Take It In
Chapter 42 - Touch
Chapter 43 - Mockingbird
Chapter 44 - Family
Chapter 45 - Search Party
Chapter 46 - Bowl Of Popcorn
Chapter 47 - Pet Names
Chapter 48 18+ - Trying Something New
Chapter 49 - French Braids
Chapter 50 - Not Taking Advantage
Chapter 51 - To Understand Someone
Chapter 52 - The Row
Chapter 53 18+ - I Need You
Chapter 54 - Your Flaws Are Your Strengths
Chapter 55 18+ - Jealousy
Chapter 56 - I Can't Be Here
Chapter 57 - Stephanie Grace Turner
Chapter 58 - Zak The Waiter
Chapter 59 18+ - Declarations
Chapter 60 - Clingy
Chapter 61 - Triple Chocolate Brownies
Chapter 62 - Watch Me
Chapter 63 - Grown-Up Conversations
Chapter 64 - A+
Chapter 65 18+ - Dynamic
Chapter 66 - You Don't Get It
Chapter 67 - Conditioned
Chapter 68 - Selachimorpha
Chapter 69 - Beed Stroganoff
Chapter 70 - Ruby-Throated Hummingbird
Chapter 71 - Realisations
Chapter 72 - Princess
Chapter 73 - The Talk
Chapter 74 - Black Widow
Chapter 75 - Can I Join You
Chapter 76 - Люли, люли, люленьки
Chapter 77 - Moose
Chapter 78 - Aurora Borealis
Chapter 79 - Calgary
Chapter 80 18+ - Mirror
Chapter 81 - Massage and Important Conversations
Chapter 82 - Banff
Chapter 83 - Strawberries
Chapter 84 - Bayushki Bayu
Chapter 85 - Cookies
Chapter 86 18+ - Control
Chapter 87 - Hyper Puppy
Chapter 88 - Treehouse
Chapter 89 - 312
Chapter 90 - Forgiveness
Chapter 91 18+ - Always Feel Good
Chapter 92 - Your Third Love
Chapter 93 18+ - Daddy
Chapter 94 - Home
Chapter 95 - Stalker
Chapter 96 - Can't Catch A Break
Chapter 97 18+ - Mile High Club
Chapter 98 - Happy
Chapter 99 - Halloween
Chapter 100 - What's In The Box?
Chapter 101 - Hired
Chapter 102 - I've Got You
Chapter 103 - Missed Morning Message
Chapter 104 - Someone I Would Like You To Meet
Chapter 105 - Sis
Chapter 106 - Soulmates
Chapter 107 - Eleos
Chapter 108 - I Called Her Mom
Chapter 109 - Suka
Chapter 110 - How Have I Made It Worse?
Chapter 111 - What Scares You?
Chapter 112 - I Thought I Was Helping
Chapter 113 - What If They Leave?
Chapter 114 - Yelena!
Chapter 115 - Puppy In Training
Chapter 116 - Your Wish Is My Command
Chapter 117 - Morning Sex
Chapter 118 - Safe
Chapter 119 - Work On Yourself
Chapter 120 - Happy Thanksgiving
Chapter 121 - I Hate This
Chapter 122 - To Be A Deer
Chapter 123 - Is Love Enough?
Chapter 124 - Let's Go Out Out
Chapter 125 - Feeling Of Rejection
Chapter 126 - You Should Hate Me
Chapter 127 - You Ready?
Chapter 128 - Pietro
Chapter 129 - Questions And Opinions
Chapter 130 - What Are You Up To?
Chapter 131 - When Pigs Fly
Chapter 132 - Science Lesson
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stillevann · 7 months ago
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ssinboo · 2 years ago
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Midnights To Come
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summary: After finding campus heartthrob Kim Mingyu absolutely butchering his trousers trying to fix the hole he'd busted in them, you offer his your sewing abilities. As retribution, he thinks that nothing is more fitting than his ultimate mission: getting you laid.
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You and Mingyu spend an unforgettable night together.
pairing: University!AU - Popular!Mingyu x Unpopular!F!Reader, reader does read on the thicker side? Nothing specific.
word count: 6.8k (30~ minute read)
warnings: protected sex (finally), fingering (F rec), drinking, partying
a/n: Thank you so much for the love <3 This is mostly inspired by Taylor Swift's older music lol I'm starting a new job soon, so I'll be mostly MIA for march and perhaps april TT
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Kim Mingyu was the ex-boyfriend of a friend’s friend’s cousin, unforgettably handsome with the sort of beauty that belonged in Hollywood. A very tall glass of gorgeous with an incredible personality to boot, that’s why everyone adored him. He was majoring in business to follow in his father’s footsteps but was a star at football and made sure no one would forget just who was the best lineman on their amateur team. 
And you’d met once or twice, briefly. Definitely not enough for him to come even close to becoming acquainted with your existence, but more than sufficient for him to leave his mark. He was a campus Idol, a guy you admired for his popularity and his way with people.
It was at a senior’s party your friend had dragged you to, that you met again. You were quietly searching for some solace in an empty room upstairs, when you saw him fiddling with his pants – It was hard not to notice his large frame struggling with a pair of jeans in the dark bedroom corner.
Being quite fair, at first you believed he was relieving himself, carnally. That was a puzzling sight as horrifying as it would be— I mean, the man had lines of women throwing themselves to be his, why would he just jerk off?  And then, you noticed the stapler he was using to completely butcher the fabric in a desperate way to fix the large hole. 
“Oh my God, just stop!” You exclaim, not being able to watch such abuse any longer. He was known to wear brand-name goods and just the thought of high quality fabric being assaulted by staples made your skin churn.
You, however, had totally forgotten to announce your presence. 
Mingyu jumps, falling off the bed in a split-second, clashing into the carpet with a thunderous thump. Eyes blown wide like a moose in headlights, he stares at you from his half-down half-on-the-bed position, suddenly, completely aware of his nakedness.
“Oh- Fuck–!” He exclaims, stumbling off the bed and pulling the jeans to cover his brand-name boxers.
“OH!” You also seem to realise how inappropriate it was to simply barge into his intimate moment with the stapler. “I’m sorry!” You yell from behind your palms, eyes tightly shut. 
“...No problem?” It sounds more of a question than anything. I mean, it was the polite thing to say when someone says “I’m sorry” however, there was a problem. 
“Do you need any help?” You ask, still muffled and hidden behind your hands. Mingyu has no idea on how to reply, he is familiar with those words, especially coming from a lady, but this scenario is totally different from the sexy ones he’s accustomed to. “I’m a seamstress,” Your brain urges for an explanation, as to make the situation somewhat less awkward.
He seems to be content with that. “You are?”
“Yes!” You turn around, fishing around your purse for a small sewing kit, pink plastic box with teeny tiny everything. “I have some needles and thread.” 
“Oh, thank God!”
That’s how you find yourself sitting on some stranger’s bed with a half-naked Mingyu – You’re carefully patching up the seams on his jeans while he sits cross-legged with a pillow between his legs. 
Who would’ve known that years into University, your closest call with a boy would be such a weird scenario. Sitting with the campus heartthrob as you stitch up his busted trousers. What a story to tell your friends. 
“I’m Mingyu, by the way,” He breaks the awkward silence, reaching out his hand; He then realises you are occupied and takes it back.
You tell him your name, eyes glued to the intricate detailing on the garment.
“Are you new here?” He asks, curiously studying your face.
“No,” You mutter, holding a needle between your lips so you can inspect your stitches. 
“How come we’ve never met?” 
“We have.”
Mingyu adjusts himself, leaning closer, “No”
“Yes?” 
“No!” 
“You dated my friend’s friend’s cousin,” You explain, though it doesn’t help.
“I’ve dated plenty of friends’ friends’ cousins’,” Mingyu half-chuckles, practically patting himself on the back for that one. 
You roll your eyes, “We met once or twice, nothing major.”
“I would’ve remembered you.” 
“You didn’t,” Laughing, you don’t even notice he’s taken offence to his own forgetfulness.
“I don’t forget a pretty girl,” It is said as a matter of factly, a worldly known truth of sorts.
“You haven’t.” 
“I forgot you, apparently,” Mingyu is more frustrated than you’d expect – Than anyone would expect for such a laid back guy.
“I’m not pretty, though?” 
Oh, he is furious at such a statement, “What?! Of course you are. You are a solid 7.5, no joke, dude.”
A solid seven point five? Wow. Coming from anyone else, that could be taken as an offence, I mean, what about you made them go so high up the scale yet not even give a full number? But you were talking about THE Kim Mingyu.
That not only tickles your ego in the right spot, but does get a good laugh out of you. Mingyu laughs along, not fully grasping the humour of it, but enjoying the sound of your giggles. 
“Thanks,” You smile, pulling out your scissors to clip the last of your thread. “Here, it’s done.” 
He widens his eyes, “So fast?!” 
With a nod, you put everything back in your pocket kit. Mingyu excitedly inspects his trousers and his jaw falls open once he can’t locate where your repairs are. 
“It’s perfect!”
You smile, “Great!” 
“Wow. You are some kind of sewing genius! Thanks! You saved my life”
Mingyu proceeds to rant about how great you are and how amazing your skills are and you should totally work with sewing – you are, and that you should make clothes – you do. All because you are just that good – from a small repair. 
You were happy with just helping him, seeing it as a finished mission, ready to pack up and head home but he would not have that, oh, no. Mingyu was laser focused on repaying your kindness – he said he hates owing people so you had to accept.   His manner of retribution? Partying and maybe, if you got lucky, getting you laid. It was his mission now.
So he dragged you downstairs to meet his inebriated friends, all surprisingly welcoming and not nearly as douchy as you’d expected – Soonyoung was especially keen on having you accompany him on the dance floor. Even drunk, his abilities surpassed any of your own and he absolutely demolished the floor with his intricate choreo. 
Seokmin pulled you from the dance floor to join him on a cheesy karaoke battle, the one feat no man can accomplish being as stone-cold sober as you were. His usually impeccable vocals suffered under the alcohol and strained over high-notes. So you just plucked the first poor soul you saw in the crowd to substitute you as Seokmin’s duet.  
Stumbling through the crowd and away from the karaoke, you finally find Mingyu, giving him “Help me” eyes. He laughs softly at your predicament, stumbling from his friend’s shoulder to wrap his arm around your neck — his exaggerated stature almost sent you crashing down. 
“Come on, no one caught your eye?” He slurs his words, wild tongue running over his pretty lips, classic red solo cup dangerously dangling from his long fingers. You can see from up close the drunken blurriness that glazes his pretty eyes with unhinged impulsiveness.
You chuckle, remembering his goal was to set you up for a “Hot date”. 
“Not at all. But I had fun.” 
“Whaat?!” He whines in frustration, stepping forward so you’re facing each other. His arm is still heavily draped over your shoulders. “You didn’t have fun!” 
“I did!” You argue.
“No…” Mingyu pouts.
“I did! I promise,” Offering him a smile, you await his response. 
“Have a drink with me?” 
God, he was a pro at puppy-dog-eyes. With pouty lips, glistening under the remnants of his drink and sparkling eyes with furrowed brows. 
“I don’t– I don’t drink,” You’re so upset with the idea of disappointing him and his adorable pout though he barely pays it any mind. 
“Then we can do something else! Come on!” 
“No, Mingyu–!” 
But he’s dragging you away from the party, placing the edge of his cup between his teeth so he can snatch his coat from the hangers on his way out. You’re stumbling under his weight and hurried steps, but the night air feels so refreshing after the stuffy frat house you practically forget his intentions. 
The house behind you thumps under the song that blasts through its brick walls, colourful LEDs flashing from open windows. The front yard feels almost completely separate from the party inside, a world apart from the drunk atmosphere that holds the stifling rooms. 
Mingyu drags you toward the pavement and standing before his car, you feel your stomach drop once you see him press the button to open the door. 
“Mingyu– You– You’re drunk. You can’t drive,” You stumble over your words, nervously fidgeting with your clothes, even if you left right now, would he still drive?
“I won’t. You’re sober,” He says as a matter of factly and you hadn’t even considered driving this insanely expensive sports car. 
Mingyu opens the driver’s door and stands there, gesturing for you to get in. A true gentleman. With a relieved breath, you do. 
It’s a convertible – Of course, it is, no other car would fit his personality as well. The chassis is coloured a blinding firetruck red and the rims are a polished silver, it’s so clearly well-maintained you feel nervous about driving it. The leather seats smell so vividly of his cologne, woody and fresh.
Mingyu closes your door and jogs to his seat, he jumps over his door with ease, settling onto the beige leather seat with a soft thump.
“Here’s ignition, turn signals, speed and all that,” He leans over and points to each item. 
“Is it stick?”
“Nah, I had it modified, it’s completely automatic.” 
“Wow, disappointed in you… I thought you’d drive stick like a real man,” You tease, leaning over to check the height for the seat – It’s obviously too far back so you adjust it forward.
“Too busy getting my dick sucked to worry about changin’ gears,” He sticks his tongue between his teeth, leaning back with a proud smile. 
“Oh, god,” You groan, “Should I be touching any surface on this car?”
“Nope.”
You laugh.
After putting on your seatbelt, you look over and notice that of course, he’s not wearing his. With a roll of your eyes, you lean over and pull the seat belt over his chest. Mingyu would’ve flinched had he not been tipsy, his eyes linger on your body over his, how your left hand holds the belt at his chest while your right hand fiddles with the lock. 
And you have such pretty long lashes that flutter along your cheeks as you focus on finding the clip for the belt. A soft furrow between your brows, you’re sighing and biting on your lower lip; He notices the pretty shade of red that you wear.
But you’re already done and it’s clipped on with a satisfying click. 
“Driver’s rules, shotgun shuts his mouth,”  You say before he can protest the safety measures.
You smile so brightly, happily turning back to the wheel, excited over this incredible machine that lays in your hands. More than the alcohol in his bloodstream, your joy is intoxicating.  
And the car comes alive with a satisfying roar, you feel the soft vibrating from the wheel course up your wrists. For you, following the speed limit felt perfect, the wheel turned so smoothly and the pedals felt the perfect height. But the little devil on the passenger’s seat kept egging you on to go faster. 
Caving to his wishes, you take the highway out of town, breezing through asphalt with no sight of other cars. The confidence that such a smooth ride gives is true, you feel yourself steadily increasing the speed much to Mingyu’s satisfaction.
The wind in your hair, caressing your face with the exhilarating night air, the thrilling constant hum of such a potent engine working to your heart’s content. Nothing could beat the constellation of artificial lighting that lit the night scenery, every building held its own collection.
“Where should I go?” You ask, suddenly remembering you’re supposed to have a destination, your eyes absolutely glued to the road. 
“Somewhere nice,” Mingyu hums, thinking for a second.
He leans back, his left hand is carelessly draped over your headrest and you can feel his fingers fidget with your hair so unconsciously. Any of his go-to destinations were made for getting hot and heavy, which wasn’t the goal tonight; He wanted to repay you for helping him out and you hadn’t shown any interest in… other manners of payment. So it left him with only one option. 
“Take a left next turn,” He says, leaning forward to dig through the glovebox. 
Mingyu finds a pair of sunglasses, putting them on despite the very obvious lack of Sunlight. He offers you a spare set, and though you’d love to enjoy wearing Prada sunglasses that probably cost more than your entire net worth, you also enjoy seeing anything on the road. So you push them on top of your head, pushing your hair back. 
Somewhere along the deserted road, Mingyu grabs the AUX cord, connecting it to his phone and going through his very generic musical taste. But the atmosphere is so perfect you can’t help but enjoy the bubblegum pop blasting from the dashboard. You even sing along. 
It’s a comfortable silence, filled with Pop music and laughter. 
You drive for almost an hour under his strict directions, until you reach a dirt road. There’s an alarm blaring in your mind, realising that you’re far from civilization, in the middle of nowhere with a total stranger. I mean, serial killers were always described as charismatic, right? 
Making a deal with yourself, you decide that if he does anything even remotely suspicious you’re running the car off the road. You’ll die, but he’ll go with you.
Against your anxiety, however, he tells you to pull up at a clearing just ahead and once you arrive, there’s no doubt on why he chose this place.
From atop this hill, you can see far into the city, its blinding lights nothing but tiny stars on the horizon, the noise pollution of a bustling metropolis is totally gone and replaced by the calming murmurs of nature. Before he can even say anything, you’re leaving the car to admire such a view. 
The moon is full, a pale veil over both of you, standing in the starry sky as the queen, ruling over her stars. The light caressing your body with the warmth of the perfect Summer night.
“What do you think?” Mingyu asks, leaning against the hood of his car. 
You can’t help but to briefly admire the picturesque scene he paints with his playboy aura and Hollywoodian beauty, leaning against this straight-out-of-a-movie convertible. He has this side smirk, knowing this breathtaking landscape can’t be topped by any of your past experiences. 
“It’s…” There aren’t words you can find to describe such a view.  “I– Thank you. It’s gorgeous.”
He visibly relaxes, as if he was waiting anxiously for your opinion, “It’s my favourite place.”
“I can see why,” You laugh, joining him, though you have a little trouble stabilising your butt over the hood.
“Everything feels small when I come here,” He explains. 
Turning to face him, your stomach is filled with annoying little butterflies that flutter around and tickle your insides with foolish thoughts. 
His moonlit profile is somehow prettier than his beauty in any other lighting, his perfect nose and high cheekbones and his eyes, God, his eyes. They hold in their dark orbs, all of the stars and worlds, in its ethereal shine. 
You hum, prying your gaze from him before your brain gets any outlandish rushes of dopamine and creates unattainable ideas. 
Mingyu leans back, his lanky body hitting the windshield, his eyes stare up at the stars. At this moment, he wishes he knew constellations from the top of his head, then maybe, he could impress you with his astronomical knowledge. 
“You look like a movie star right now… I feel like I’m in a movie,” Joking, you lean on your elbow, unconsciously following his body with your own. 
“What do you wanna be when you grow up?” He asks on a spur of the moment.
You laugh, “When I grow up?”
Mingyu realises what you meant by your question and laughs along, “You know what I meant.”
Though you’re caught aback, there’s not much thinking to be done, “I want to design clothes.”
He hums, “It suits you, I think.” He didn’t know you that well, but it seemed fitting.
You chuckle, “You?”
Mingyu lets out a long sigh, leaning on his elbows to stare up at you, “CEO, I guess.”
“Have you always wanted to be a CEO?”
His lips press into a thin line and he hesitates on how much he should tell, throwing caution into the air, Mingyu decides to open up. “I honestly… Don’t want to.”
You furrow your brows, “Won’t you take over your father’s company?” 
He nods, “That’s what I should do.”
“Then what do you want to be?”
It’s such an innocent question and in all honesty, sort of childish almost? Something you would ask a small child and just agree with whatever they come up with. But it’s something he was never allowed to question.
“I… Don’t think I know.” 
You hum, “You could be an actor,” It’s a bit of a tease as much as it is the truth. 
Mingyu raises an eyebrow, sitting up so he can face you properly. You have this soft smile on your face that holds so much warmth for a stranger like him, it almost feels undeserving. 
“An actor?” He prods. 
“Yeah,” You shrug, “You just have the vibes for it… Living a thousand lives in just one, I think you could play any character really well. Plus, you have the looks. I always told my friends you have a face that belongs in Hollywood.” It comes out so naturally, you barely realise what you’ve said until he’s staring at you. “I– Sorr–”
Mingyu smashes his lips into yours. 
You squeak, but don’t shy away from his plush lips. 
His left hand reaches for your jaw, fingers softly tracing your cheek with certain hesitancy but you lean into his touch so willingly he can’t help the bubbling feeling that comes to life deep in his belly. 
When your lips part, you feel the night breeze caress the parts of your body he touched and you find your body misses his warmth. 
Your brain simply can’t function. 
In your brilliant academic journey, romance had never been an aspect you entertained. You quickly learned at thirteen that a fairytale story only happens to cute girls with nice hair and pretty bodies. And not the one repeatedly being used as the butt-end of a cruel joke. 
Mingyu represented everything you would never have; A popular, rich guy with amazing hair and looks out of this world. And he was nice, too. Took time of his day to hang out with you and to repay what had been an instinctive action; help out someone. 
It could only have been a mistake, right?
Mingyu, noticing the dread that paints your pretty face, can’t help the cold shiver that takes over his body, “I… I’m sorry.” 
“It’s fine! I won’t tell anyone.” You reply all too fast.
“What?” He blinks a couple of times, “What do you mean?”
“Y’know, I won’t ruin your reputation…”
He practically jumps from the car, standing in front of you, “Say it again.” 
You look up, his towering height has never once been intimidating, until now, “...I won’t tell anyone. I promise.” 
“No, what the fuck do you mean ruin my reputation, why would kissing you ruin it?” His voice possesses such anger you couldn’t even think he was capable of. But you feel yourself getting upset, how long will he torture you with this? Do you need to say with all words how undesirable you are?
“Because no one in their right mind should be seen with a girl like me!” You blurt out, feeling his anger seep into your body.
“A girl like you?” He huffs in disbelief. “A girl that indulged me, was nice to my friends and let me drag her to the middle of nowhere?” Mingyu leans forward, caging your body in between his arms. “ A pretty, kind girl, who helped me without asking anything for it? What kind of girl, tell me.” He orders, his voice in a low, hushed tone that tickles your nose when he speaks.
Speechless, you’re sitting there, face to face with a guy that genuinely shows interest in you, told you you’re pretty for the nth time tonight and has the most kissable lips you’ve seen. 
His jaw is tight with anger, almost as if he’s got a personal vendetta against you self-hatred, but your stupid lustful brain can’t focus on anything but the sharp cut of his jaw, deep veins bulging from tanned skin. 
“Can I kiss you?” He asks, so quietly you think you hallucinated it. But it’s very much true. 
He looks so irresistible, half-lidded eyes staring at your lips while he bites his own. 
“Please,” you exhale, melting into his body when he leans forward. 
You were never a woman of action, preferring when others make the move, but in this moment you have this newfound confidence, meeting his lips halfway, crashing into a fervorous kiss.
It’s nothing like your first, you feel the heat emanating from his body, scorching hot seeping into your skin, burning every nerve it touches with fervorous want. 
His tongue is in your mouth, anxious and exploring and he is humming against your lips such an intoxicating melody that for a second, you’re a stranded sailor falling for the voice of a siren and dipping into the arms of unimaginable beauty.
Saliva drips from your connected lips but he refuses to end the kiss, no. Because you taste of cherry flavoured hard candies, provocatively luscious with a delicious aftertaste that can only leave you longing for more. 
He parts the kiss, leaning back and practically tearing his varsity jacket from his body. You’re watching closely as he lays it behind you, over the car.
Right hand moving to your waist, Mingyu pushes forward until you’re laying on the hood, so pretty. Your body is still finding his, your chest leaning forward so you can mould into his warmth, hands gripping the fabric of his shirt, closer, closer. 
You’re breathless, eyes trained on his every move with such incredulity as if you believed you were in a dream, hallucinating every moment so far. 
He can feel every curve of your body pressing tightly against his. It’s evident the effect you’re having on him, blood boiling in his veins with unadulterated desire.
There has never been a moment in his life where he genuinely cared to go slow, to show his passion and intent; Every partner of his had been as much into the act as he had been. 
But you, you’re so fragile and every moment he spends in your presence feels so ephemeral, he can not help the panic that rushes into his body to make it worth it, to make every second last.
His lips trace along your jaw, saliva coating the path he trails down your neck until he reaches your collarbones. And his lips are so gentle and enticing, with their sugary kisses that you lean into because you’ve never felt something so wonderful. 
He nibbles and kisses on your exposed skin, teeth grazing across the teeniest bit of cleavage showing from your borrowed dress. So far, you had done an amazing job at keeping the sounds he elicited from leaving your lips, however this once, you couldn’t hold the breathy mewl that escapes. 
Mingyu freezes, eyes slowly rising up until they meet your face. 
“Oh my god, do it again,” He huffs against your sensitive skin.
“W-What?” You ask.
“That sound you just did, god, you sound so fucking hot,” And he slurs against your chest. Not because of alcohol, no, he had sobered up on the windy car ride, but intoxicated on the effortless warmth that you exude. 
You lit a flame on his chest that burns incandescently with nothing but greedy lust, burning its way through his body with an unfathomable hunger that could only be satisfied by your sweetest moans. 
He struggles with the buttons that decorate the cleavage of your dress, trying to undo them and seriously questioning his soberness when they do not separate.
“It’s got a zipper,” You admit, but he looks so relieved. 
Mingyu leans back, pulling you by your hand until you crash into his chest and he can finally reach the back of your dress. You’re breathing so heavily against his skin, your soft hands grazing along the nape of his neck, fingers tangling into his hair; He can hardly focus on the task at hand. 
His right hand runs under the skirt of your dress, clawing at your flesh with heavy hands, almost as if he wanted to hold you fully in his touch. Toying with the band of your panties, he sighs, watching your chest heave at the contact.
You pull your dress sleeves off, letting the fabric bundle around your waist, though you can’t be arsed to properly take it off. Mingyu does not mind at all, no, he’s absolutely hypnotised by the sight of your tits.
Shoving his face onto your cleavage, he’s pulling you closer into his body by your hips, sucking love bites on your unblemished skin. Leaving a trace of him that would last longer than your moments together, a mark of momentary possession that allowed his brain to indulge.  
And you’re contaminated with his boldness, clawing at his shirt with relentless anticipation. You suddenly have this peculiar urge to feel his skin on yours, unlike anything you’ve ever felt before. 
Mingyu smiles against your skin, finding your hands that touch him fervently, wrapping his fingers around yours. And for a brief moment, you feel as though you might’ve wronged him, but he pulls your hands to wrap around his neck as he finds your lips again while his hands are pulling on the hem of his shirt.
The kiss is only parted once, when he pulls the white shirt above his shoulders and discards it somewhere across the soft grass; completely unimportant at the moment. 
And god, Mingyu is divinely sculpted with defined pecs and hardened abs that tense under your touch. You sigh at the dreamy sight of his tan skin completely exposed for your viewing only. 
He relishes in the adoring look you exhibit, eyes dripping wholly in an exquisite hunger you’ve never felt before; And he coerces this scandalous reaction from you with pride. Your hands are eager to touch him, so you do. You run your fingers down his supple skin, fingernails grazing in teasing lines. 
Smoothing out your hands up his chest, you find his neck and pull him toward your lips, wanting to feel his bare skin on yours, stealing his heat until your bodies are running at the exact same temperature.
His hands, large and calloused from playing professional sports, lay heavy on your thighs. Mingyu pulls at the waistband of your panties and takes a second to lock eyes with you, guaranteeing your approval. 
You can only hope you’ve got the good pair of underwear on. 
But it doesn’t matter, because he pulls it off at once, discarding it above his shoulder to fall somewhere along his shirt. 
Your dress is bunched up around your waist and you should’ve felt more embarrassed to be completely exposed before him but Mingyu looks at you with such reverent eyes, taking every inch of abundant flesh with care. 
“Fuck–” He groans, eyes glued to the spot between your legs. You can’t even close them in an attempt at modesty because he is standing right there and not going anywhere. 
He runs a slender finger across your slit, breathing heavier at the sight of moisture that pools along the lips. 
When you bite your lower lip, unknowingly coquettish and staring at him all bright eyed and pleading, Mingyu let out a strained sound that could barely be classified as a groan. 
“Can I?” 
His finger dances around your slit and he looks unsure. You nod with a soft “Yeah.”
Nothing like anything you’ve felt or done before.
That’s the only way to explain the feeling of having his long finger prodding at your hole with gentle movement. He soon joins another one, stretching you out with delicate scissoring motions, he’s not focused on making you cum, he wants to prepare you for him. 
And that very thought makes your stomach tighten in anticipation. 
You don’t even realise when your hips are thrusting against his hand, matching his pace. And you’re definitely not thinking when you ask in a gasp:
“A… Another one–”
Mingyu stills. 
“You don’t fuckin–” He leans forward, forehead flushed to yours, uneven breath tickling your sensitive lips. “You have no idea what you’re doin’ to me, babygirl.” 
You feel your body consumed with an unstoppable amount of confidence, knowing the grip you hold over Mingyu at this moment, you’re dizzy with power.
“Show me, then,” The lazy smile that finds your red stained lips is a sight to bear.
He smirks, knowing he will make you eat your words soon. 
As he pulls his fingers from your cunt, there is a thick string of arousal that coats his skin in a sinful glaze. With a confident smirk, Mingyu 
But he doesn’t expect when you lean forward, letting your tongue run all over, cleaning his fingers and tasting first-hand the pleasure he brings you. 
Oh, fucking hell. 
Mingyu could’ve cum right then and there. 
You’re giggling as he fumbles with his belt, he wishes he could’ve stopped to appreciate such a sweet sound, but he was way too horny to think about anything other than plunging his cock into you at once. 
When the night breeze hits his throbbing erection, Mingyu shivers.
You’re chewing on your lower lip, equal parts excited and terrified at his sheer size. He is large. And fat, with bulging veins running down his length and a thick head that’s trickling with pre-cum. 
“Oh my god.” 
Mingyu cowers at your gasp, “What?”
“You’re huge, fuck.” 
Oh, your praise runs straight down to his erection. His chest puffs out with absolute pride.
“Do you have a condom?” It was a silly question when aimed toward Mingyu, of course he did. He always does. 
He fishes out his wallet and pulls a fresh packet, tearing the foil apart with his teeth and pulling the pre-lubed rubber. Mingyu is about to roll it over himself when your hands find his. 
“Can I–?” You ask and he almost sighs. 
He watches you with bated breath. You’re delicate, small hands quietly rolling the condom over his seemingly unending length until you’ve reached the base. Your fingers linger in curiosity and he can’t help but to find it adorable.
Properly protected, Mingyu grasps his length as you position yourself better on the hood, legs wide open, dripping in anticipation. Oh, you couldn’t fault his desire to tease, could you?
Running his tip over and over your drenched core, he groans. You’re clenching around nothing, hands fidgeting with the bunched up fabric of your dress. Mingyu has a stupid confident smirk on his lips, watching you squirm at his minimal touch. 
“Mingyu!” You whine when he brushes against your clit. Reaching your right hand, you claw at his heaving chest. He doesn’t budge, however.
“What?” He plays dumb, toying with your hole. 
“F-Fuck me? Please…?”
Fuck seven point five, you were a ten, a twenty, a one-hundred, no fucking numbers could quantify your allure, no. You could charm your way out of any crime if you pursed your brows and pouted your lips like this, smeared red lipstick painting your soft skin, saliva dripping down your chin so indecently. 
And your hand was still, caressing his stomach, like a succubus ready to pounce and devour him like a five course-meal. Consume him whole, body and soul until he has nothing left to give. He would let you have him, any way you wanted, you just needed to say the word.
Just needed to let his name fall out of your pretty lips in a breathy gasp and he would be at your call. 
Mingyu enters you slowly, stretching out every millimetre of your walls with a burning feeling of fullness.
“Fuck–” He groans, “Relax for me, baby.” 
You take a deep breath, allowing your body to relax as much as your brain allows at the moment and he takes the chance to stretch you out further, hips pistoning forward. 
Mingyu feels the pleasure seep into his body in one fell swoop, dissolving in his bloodstream, filling his lungs with heat. You’re snug around him, clamping down on his sensitive erection, pulsing alive and throbbing. 
“Are you in?” You ask, not risking looking down and disappointing yourself at the remaining length. Mingyu is hovering just inches above you, hand taut on the hood, using every bit of restraint imaginable to not pound you into tomorrow.
“Just a little more,” He breathes out, head coming to rest on the crook of your neck as his hip comes to meet yours.
He allows you a moment to let the stretch lessen, to allow your discomfort to slowly morph into pleasure. And soon, you’ve got your arms wrapped tight around his broad shoulders, his almond eyes have completely surrendered to the dark gaze of lust, devouring you alive with their insatiable hunger. 
“You can move now…” You breathe out, fingers tangling around his silky smooth hair. 
“You sure?”
“Oh, yeah.” He smiles against your lips, hips finding themselves a languid, slow and torturous pace until you’re begging for more. 
The way his body feels against your is something unforgettably wonderful, every curve of his torso giving into your own, every inch of you filling into the gaps of his in an imperfectly perfect little puzzle.
With every thrust, you’re pulling at the roots of his hair, gaining yourself sharp hisses from Mingyu. Though he enjoys the tugging, leans into your scratching, presents his lips to you with total eagerness.
He fastens his movement, thrusting into you with sheer fervour. His hands are exploring your body, kneading at abundant flesh with excited fingers that leave trails of crescent moons shapes along your skin. 
Out here, in the middle of nowhere, caressed by the breeze and the moonlight, you’re whispering his name in an unanswered prayer, letting the syllables dance around in your tongue before you let them slip away into the starry night sky to be forgotten. 
You’re clenching around him with pleasure, feeling the knot in your belly tighten and tighten. 
“Feels– So good,” Mingyu hisses against your kisses, hips not stuttering even once. 
Brain an absolute mush, you can’t find any words to respond other than strained moans.
“So– Fucking good…” Nuzzling along your jaw, he grazes his teeth on your neck, painting your skin with love bites.
“I–” You gasp, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him closer. He doesn’t even need you to finish your sentence to know what you meant.
“Yeah? Me too– Let go, baby.” 
Digging his hands into your hips, Mingyu hurries his thrusts, hitting your sweet spot again and again until you’re melting in his arms, singing praise of his name with your candied voice and luring him into his own orgasm. 
He leans forward, capturing your lips in a harsh kiss, hips slowing down as he comes undone, tainting the condom with heavy spurts. 
You’re both gasping in complicity, blanketed in the summer night.
Once the condom is discarded, Mingyu lays by your side and pulls you into his heaving chest. You both lay there in comfortable silence, letting the orgasms fade out into strained sleepiness. 
“Will you promise to remember me?” You ask, watching the twinkling stars that lay before you two.
“Where did that come from?” Mingyu chuckles. 
“Do you promise?” Your voice is a soft whisper that dissipates into a shaky, hesitant breath, “Do you promise to remember me?”
He laughs, but your eyes hold such urgency, he can not ignore the human need to sympathise with your woes. “...Why– Why do you say that?”
“Because…” You sigh, “Because I’ll remember you, – this,” Hands vaguely gesturing toward your conjoined bodies, “For the rest of my life… And I’m afraid even a decade from now, you won’t be able to recall my name or what I look like.” 
It’s serious, it’s a concern that has plagued your mind since the moment you laid down. However, Mingyu can only focus on the fact that you’ve assumed the two of you won’t see each other again, ever. 
Leaning forward, his slight smile does nothing to hide the clearly confused look that is plastered across his handsome face, “It’s like you plan to disappear. We’ll see each other again.”
You shake your head, “What are the chances, Mingyu? We’re just… Fleeting seconds in centuries. What are the chances alumni – Not even from the same major, – will meet again?”
“What if we promise to meet?” Oh, he’s absolutely set on it, but you find it adorable; this fervorous intent on defying the hands fate has laid before you.
“Then, what happens when we’re bored of each other?” You chew on your lower lip, but he discards your argument. 
“That might not happen,” He points out.
“We’re too different. It defeats fate to force it,” You sigh.
Mingyu doesn’t have an answer right now, but he’s seeking one with furrowed brows and pouted lips.
“Remember me like this, no wait–” You run your fingers through tangled hair in an attempt to fix the messing he’d done before. “Done. Like this.” You flash a smile, posing your body in the best angle it has, to construct the perfect memory.
But Mingyu sees your flustered cheeks, smeared lipstick that leaves behind a stained trail of hot red over swollen-kissed lips. Sleep hazed eyes that gaze at him with such warmth, that hold a longing he wouldn’t be able to grasp for another decade. You liked him, you truly did. And that’s why you would never allow your memories of him to be tainted by the grasps of time. 
You’d forever remember his dorky smile and dad jokes, his clumsy hands and warmth.
And Mingyu doesn’t realise it yet, but he would forever remember you as someone who marked him forever. To disregard the cards you’re dealt, make your own memories, remember it all fondly. 
Maybe in a couple years, you will have a wild dream about this very moment, a fuzzy memory that leaves behind a nostalgic smile that will follow you for the day, reminding you of this perfect feeling. You’ll look back with wistful thinking of the good days. 
And will keep it close to your heart.
Where it belongs.
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You thought about it often the day after, but days turned into weeks, turned into months, turned into years. And a decade later, you found yourself having a dream about the distant memory, and the sweet nostalgic feeling accompanied you throughout your routine. 
After university, you had found a simple job in your area that sufficed the need for experience and filled the empty stop in your resume. Though it was far from fulfilling. There was no creative liberty allowed and you often found yourself overworked and constricted by tight deadlines. 
The dream of your own line had yet to die, however. That’s why you had volunteered for such a demanding gig: designing for a historical movie. Luckily, your resume had allowed you a good position, overseeing the wardrobe and designing the pieces that would be forever captured on film.
The main character, a pretty young thing with curly hair, was extremely excited to work with you and almost cried when she saw the dresses she would be wearing. 
Today, you would be fitting for the lead male role and designing him some characteristic James Dean style clothes. Your assistant led him to your office while you were gathering your materials. 
When you enter the room and you’re met with those gorgeous almond eyes, you can’t help the stupid smile that finds your lips.
“This is the lead actor, Kim Mingyu,” Your assistant explains. 
“Yeah, I know,” You laugh. 
He stands up, a charming smirk plastered on his pretty face, “Hey.”
Your assistant looks at you with a puzzled look, “You know each other?”
Mingyu nods. 
“Yeah, I never forget a pretty face.” 
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cod-dump · 1 year ago
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Valeria: Who’s that?
Graves: Him? That’s Moose, our resident tech genius
Valeria: Cool, I’ll take him
Graves: Ex-fucking-cuse me?
Valeria, grabbing a very flustered Moose’s hand: I said I’ll take him
Moose, knowing Valeria cannot be trusted but she’s also very pretty: Father help-
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these-posts-arent-real · 6 months ago
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Time to catch up on your favorite dashboard simulator :3
#gonna start scheduling these for 1 or 2 per day #i really enjoy making them but I think i'll get burnt out otherwise #also HUGE ty to whoever was the anon who sent me the idea #about having therian cats #ohhh my god #hey anon #(or anyone else but im talkin to u) #feel free to dm me to talk at any point you seem cool
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��� 🐍xviper-the-fagx reblogged
🫎 mo0sedude Follow
I PASSED MY ASSESSMENT!!! AAAAAHHH
🪺 robbbinpaw Follow
OMSC CONGRATS MOOSE! I'm so happy for you!!!!
🐍 xviper-the-fagx
WOAAAHHH CONGRATULATIONS MOOOSEE!!! Have you had your name ceremony yet??
#im so happy for ya dude #moving on from apprenticeship </3 #gonna miss you in the 'apprentice things' tag
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🔁 🏞 trouttail-prefers-bass Follow reblogged
🏞 trouttail-prefers-bass Follow
Daily selfie !!!
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Trying on some new berry-based fur dye.
🏞 trouttail-prefers-bass Follow
The amount of cats commenting "you'll never be a she-cat" and "wearing fur dye won't make you female" is astounding. Like. Thanks?? I'm a trans guy not a trans girl...
#lol?? #this is so funny to me #trans
4,703 notes
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🥬 rxttencatmint Follow
Ahh.. different type of post than usual, but.. mmrrnn... I'm considering coming out to my mentor. I know he's supportive, but I'm really nervous, so, uh.. I'm gonna leave it up to a Clanblr poll haha..
#trans #transmasc #trans tom #transgender #trans apprentice #advice #poll
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🤍 snwtl Follow
* ,○ ' WELCOME TO MY BLOG ^. o° ;
adult female cat - 49 moons - gender critical
Keep reading
#terfsafe #radfem #adult female cat #terf #riverclan
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🔁 🥬 rxttencatmint reblogged
🍲 ex-thundrclan-kipper Follow
New neighbors have THE most annoying dog I've ever met in my life. Won't shut up about how that's her yard and to get back... nobody wants your yard Jackie, shut uppp...
🌻 l1llyst3m Follow
Since when do you speak dog????
🍲 ex-thundrclan-kipper Follow
I started picking it up when I moved to the twolegplace. I'm still not fluent, but I can hold a conversation with the neighborhood dogs if I want.
#every new thing i learn about kipper #just. wow #he is so coolll... #this is totally not the gender envy and parent issues speaking
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🔁 🌊 missingmyscales reblogged
🦊 foxx--hearted Follow
The worst part about being a fox therian is that even when I am partially accepted, it's usually because cats are telling me how horrible foxes are, and how I should've "picked a different species" because they think that's how it works.
🌊 missingmyscales Follow
Imagine being a fish. In RiverClan.
The closest I ever get to "acceptance" is my friends joking about how I would taste.
🦋 lalala-bluegaze Follow
How does it feel to have to eat the thing your damaged brain thinks you are. Lol
🌊 missingmyscales Follow
Frst off. "Damaged brain" like. Oookay guess we're just being really mean to others on Clanblr today. Second off ,I dont eat fish??? I never even implied that I eat fish.
🦋 lalala-bluegaze Follow
You're from RiverClan lmao. What else is there to eat
🌊 missingmyscales Follow
...
You are joking, right?
Lizards, birds, water voles and shrews, snakes, frogs, toads?? None of those come to mind when you consider the potential diet of a RiverClan warrior??????
�� foxx--hearted Follow
@missingmyscales you should probably just block @lalala-bluegaze, her whole blog is about being anti-kittypet, anti-therian, not believing enbies or bisexuals/any other lgbt identity than lesbian or gay or binary trans is valid, and a whole bunch of other stuff. It's not worth talking to her.
🌊 missingmyscales Follow
Ahh thanks... blocked her. I didnt think to check her blog beforehand
#sorry again for arguing on your post, Maple #saw a misconception ab RiverClan and blacked out lol
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🔁 🏞 trouttail-prefers-bass reblogged
🌾 barncat-vibes Follow
Good morning everyone <3 remember to eat breakfast and stay hydrated!
2,301 notes
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🐍 xviper-the-fagx
Ithunk i atw a bug
#it difnr taste good euther :/
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🌱 dirtdigger-23 Follow
So I guess I'm just on this site now?? Clanblr is gone. I can't access any of its posts. But. I can see "Tumblr". Which is weird. The posts are really strange here.
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annievrse · 1 year ago
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it's a bad idea, right?
eren x fem!reader —ᡣ𐭩 fic summary: seeing your ex after a night out… it’s a bad idea, right? cw: 18+, smut (afab!reader, unprotected sex, creampie), exes to lovers, swearing. w/c: 4.5k a/n: first time writing a ~proper~ smut, kinda bad, kinda fucking terrified to post but, we move 💪 olivia's new song is perfect for an exes to lovers whore such as myself, so i had to use it in a fic. enjoy :)
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Despite having the same friends, you hadn’t seen or heard from your ex for 2 months. The break-up was mutual, something about growing apart and wanting different things. Sure, you were upset, devastated even, but something inside you that knew you’d hold him again. And somehow, that one sliver of hope had wrapped around your heart and held it hostage. 
It’s how you found yourself at Moose with your two friends, Hitch and Annie, on the brink of passing out. The club’s multicoloured lights gave you a headache, and the generous amount of alcohol you had consumed an hour earlier started to wear off, but you continued to dance, laugh, and sing with the two girls. 
You held your phone in your hand as you threw your arms in the air. The room was lively and had been the best night you’d had at Moose in the past few months (or maybe it was because you knew who would call you tonight…). 
But when Hitch slapped you on the arm, and the phone in your hand started vibrating simultaneously, you had an inkling of who was calling.
“Don’t answer it,” Hitch yelled over the music, her eyes narrowed. 
You shrugged and, without looking, declined the call. “Who was it?”
“Don’t act dumb,” She shook her head, still jumping around. 
You rolled your lips between your teeth, and your heart started pounding faster. There was only one person who could elicit that tone from Hitch. 
You kept a playful smile on your face, and it remained when your phone rang again. But, this time, you faced the screen toward your body so the girls wouldn’t see. 
Eren’s name flashed on the screen, along with his contact photo: him with bedhead, shirtless, with the biggest smile on his face. Why his contact was still in your phone, with that specific photo, was beyond you, but all questions were out of your head when you turned around and left the dance floor without explanation. 
Swiping right to answer, you brought your phone to your ear. “What?” It probably wasn’t the most polite thing to say, but you were half-drunk, and your feet hurt. 
“Hi to you too, baby.” 
The tone of his voice sent shivers down your spine. It was the first time you’d heard his voice in months. 
“Eren,” You said, squeezing through groups to get to the bar. “Are you okay?” 
“I’m great, actually, now that I’m talking to you.”  
You could hear the smirk in his voice over the music, and that’s when you could tell you were in trouble. “What’s up?” 
He hummed into the receiver, but you could barely catch it. “Wanna come over tonight?” 
“Why?” You asked, but it was playful. 
“I got a new place. Wanna give you a tour.” 
“Do you? Well, where was this call, I don’t know, a month ago?” 
Eren groaned into his phone. “Just come! Please, I miss you.” 
You paused as you were adjusting your spot on the bar stool. “You want me to come over?” 
“Do you want to come over?” 
“Yes,” Your voice was breathless as you answered, and Eren’s soft laughter in the background wasn’t helping. “As friends.” 
“Okay, yeah. I’ll text you the address, bestie,” He said. “Can’t wait to see you.” 
And then he hung up. You knew what he wanted because you wanted it too. 
Flashes of Eren played on a loop in your head: the last time you saw him, the first time, him smiling at you in that cocky way of his, his body on top of yours, his under yours… it was insanity.
“Why’d you leave?” Hitch shouted in your ear. You jumped, a guilty look on your face that you hoped she and Annie wouldn’t notice. 
“I feel sick. I think I might go home,” You cringed at how the words came out of your mouth. 
And when Annie side-eyed Hitch, you knew they knew you were lying. 
“I’ll just get an Uber,” You unlocked your phone and clicked on the app, receiving a text from Eren simultaneously. 
How convenient. 
Typing in 843 Campanula Street, CS Apartments, you knew you should stop, but you couldn’t. A car popped up: 5 minutes away. 
Getting up to leave, you knew they would follow you outside. So, you held Hitch’s hand and pulled her, who pulled Annie out of the crowd and out of the entrance. You adjusted your purse on your shoulder and stepped out into the warm night air. 
“You should probably not see Eren tonight. You’re not in the right headspace,” Hitch said behind you. She knew you were lying about feeling sick, so you may as well play into it.
“Can’t two people reconnect?” You teased, glancing over your shoulder. 
“Bullshit,” Annie stated boredly. 
Blah, blah, blah… Eren, Eren, Eren…
“Listen, I only see him as a friend,” You rolled your eyes. “We’re done, we’re through, we’re never ever getting back together, okay?” 
Hitch and Annie shared a look. You’d just told the biggest lie you’ve ever said. 
“What’s the worst that could happen?” You looked down the road for your Uber.
Then Hitch choked out a laugh and Annie sighed. You furrowed your eyebrows. 
“We just don’t want you to get hurt again,” Hitch said softly after she finished coughing. 
You shook your head. “I won’t. Besides, I’m going straight home. I’ll ask him what’s up in the morning.” 
Hitch nodded knowingly. “Yeah, okay. Have fun at home. Text us when you get there.” 
Your Uber pulled up next to the curb. You smiled at Hitch and wrapped your arms around her neck. “See you.”
Turning toward Annie, you only grinned, making her look more bored. “Don’t be an idiot.” 
You threw your hands up in defence. “I’m not. I’m going home.”
“Bye then,” Annie waved and turned to reenter the club. Hitch stayed a little longer to ensure the Uber left, waving enthusiastically after it. 
You knew you should stop, but you couldn’t. 
Fuck it, it’s fine. 
When the elevator dinged, you stepped out onto the second floor. It was a nice complex with white walls, gold door handles, and dark, clean carpet, an upgrade from his previous apartment complex just off-campus. 
The floor was quiet for a Saturday night, except for the bass from party music coming from the lower floor. The carpet was plush under your feet, and the hanging lights were gold too. Maybe you were more tipsy than you thought as you picked out details you would’ve before. 
You saw nobody as you passed the first apartments. But, as you turned the corner of the hallway, Eren was standing in the doorway of the last apartment with a cocky grin. 
“Hey,” he called. You looked around and hushed him. It was 1am, after all. “Pish, they’re probably all out anyway.”
You felt your face heat up when you got closer, feeling self-conscious in your party dress and shoeless feet. But you couldn’t stop looking at him. Somehow, in the last 2 months, Eren had gotten more attractive. His black t-shirt was taut against his chest and biceps. His hair was pulled back into its usual half-bun, but the pieces in the front made him look prettier. You swore you’d seen someone much hotter for your sanity, but nobody came to mind. God, he really encapsulated everything you’d ever want and need. 
“Seeing you tonight… It’s a bad idea, right?” You giggled, swinging your heels in your hand. 
“I’d say it’s the best idea ever, but depends on who you ask,” His eyes raked up your body as you walked toward him. “Besides, just friends, right?”
The dimple you’d missed appeared on his cheek as he smirked, and your confidence grew. 
“We’re the best of friends,” At the sound of your voice so low and sultry, Eren blinked. 
His tongue darted out to wet his bottom lip, and when you reached him, his hands wrapped around your shoulders, pulling your cheek flush against his chest. The action didn’t surprise you because you would do the same. 
“Hi,” He whispered before pushing you away, his hands still on your shoulders.
You were going to speak, but your brain short-circuited. The rational side of your brain continuously asked you why, why, why, while the other side screamed at you to kiss him. It was a jumble of static and blah, blah, blah… Eren, Eren, Eren… 
All you could think about was him. 
Fuck it, it’s fine!
“Wanna show me,” You paused, flickering your eyes to his. The usual bright green of his eyes turned darker, and his grip on your shoulders tightened—his hands were burning your skin. “The apartment?” 
This seemed to snap Eren out of his daze because he shook his head to rid his thoughts, then nodded, stepping back and widening the door to welcome you. 
“Uh, yeah, so…” Eren stumbled, closing the door behind him. “This is the apartment.” 
You walked inside, placing your purse on the granite kitchen counter and your heels on the floor. 
“It’s lovely,” You muttered. From the couch to the posters and photos on the walls, it was so Eren, but it was mature. And it was lovely, different, attractive, but your attention wasn’t on the decor. It was on the owner of said decor, but you weren’t going to make that obvious yet. 
Eren rubbed the back of his neck as he watched you look around the space: into the open-plan living room, down the small hallway to the bathroom and the spare bedroom, and then back into the kitchen and to the lone door on the other side of the living room. 
“Your bedroom?” You asked, your voice light. You weren’t giving anything away yet. It was risky being here in the first place. There were reasons why you broke up, but you didn’t care at that moment. This was more fun than ignoring each other. 
“Wouldn’t you like to know,” Eren teased, breaking out of his frozen state to meet you at the door. 
The air was charged like it used to be, but you dismissed it, making a beeline for the couch—a large L-shaped black leather lounge. As soon as you sat down, all the aching in your back dissipated as you sunk deeper into the throw cushions. You groaned in relaxation, propping your feet up.
“Why do you always get the comfiest couches?” You closed your eyes. “S’not fair.” 
Eren didn’t say anything as you shuffled around to get comfortable, pulling the hem of your dress down your legs. He looked at the clock on the wall in the kitchen. 01:47.
“You tired, hm?” He asked, and you nodded, pretending to yawn. Eren narrowed his eyes when you did so. He’d seen that action before, the lesser version of your actual yawn—he’d seen the real one too many times to know when you were faking. 
“Guess I’ll take you home then.” 
Your eyes snapped open, and you shook your head. But when you saw Eren, a cocky smirk rested on his face, much like when you arrived. 
“I knew you were faking,” He laughed, stalking toward you. You pouted and looked up at him, your gaze catching his for a second before you looked away. 
“A more detailed tour, please,” You reached out your hand, and Eren pulled you up. 
The momentary touch of skin on skin was enough to fry your brain for a few minutes as you mechanically followed him into the bathroom, where you washed your face with his face wash, then into the spare bedroom to look at the view from the window, and finally, into Eren’s bedroom off the living room. 
Nothing was said as you entered, but the smell of his room was the same as it had always been—it was just in a different space without you to experience it. Cedar, geranium, bergamot, apple. It was the scent you bought him for his 19th birthday 4 years ago when you first started dating. You were stepping into a time machine, and all the emotions that came with it hit you in the face. 
You willed yourself not to cry as you turned your back to him to look over his desk. You ignored the few extra things he’d gathered without you in the two months you’d be apart, but it was all the same. It was Eren. 
“You like it?” He mumbled, the heat on your back making sense. You didn’t realise how close he was standing until he spoke, his hands on the desk beside you, caging you in. 
“It’s very you, Ren. The whole thing,” You spun around, your hips against his. “I really like it.” 
He smiled in relief and let his eyes wander your expression, recounting every mark, pore, scar on your face that he had memorised. It was all the same. You were still you. 
“I’m glad,” He breathed. “Thanks, bestie.” 
But you didn’t laugh. Your eyes were focused on his mouth. The realisation made Eren lick his lips again, but you noticed they twitched with anticipation this time. 
“This okay?” You whispered, slowly wounding your arms around his neck and pushing your hips harder against his. 
“You’re kidding, right?” He smirked, gaining his confidence back. His hands slid from the desk to your hips, and he leaned closer, breaths mixing, lips lingering. “I missed you so fucking much.” 
Eren’s lips brushed yours as he spoke. And you almost caved. Your fingers played with the loose hairs of his half-bun, and the action reminded you that you’d done this before, more than you could count—but never in the situation you were in right then. 
“Fuck it.” 
You don’t know who made the first move, but soon Eren was swiping everything off his desk and onto the floor so he could lift you onto his desk. You spread your legs apart and locked your ankles around his hips, pulling him closer. The kisses were sloppy and hasty, making up for lost time. You smiled when he began pushing the hem of your dress higher, his teeth tapping yours as he grinned too. 
Panting into each other’s mouths, you slid your hands down his chest and into the waistband of his sweatpants. 
“I want these off,” You mumbled, getting your nails under his briefs and pulling them down with his pants.
“Well, I want this off,” Eren laughed, reaching behind you to fiddle with the zipper on the back. The sudden exposure of your back to the hot air of his bedroom sent goosebumps over your skin. 
The front of your dress began to loosen, and soon, Eren pulled away from you, his hands carefully dragging the straps of your dress down your arms. His sweats were halfway down his legs, and his briefs sat awkwardly over his ass, but he couldn’t care less, not when you looked the way you did. 
The more you reflect on that night, the more you disagree. The thought of being in a club not an hour ago left you feeling gross and probably smelling gross too. But at that moment, you didn’t care because you were with him, in his new room and apartment, and all you could think about was him.
Blah, blah, blah… Eren, Eren, Eren… 
Eren laughed breathlessly at the sight of your tits, and when your dress was at your waist, he cupped them with his palms. “Fuck, I missed you.” 
Blah, blah, blah… Eren, Eren, Eren… 
When Eren leaned down to press kisses to your neck, you reached your hands to play with his hair again. “I… missed you… too.”
“Tell me what you want,” He breathed heavily into the space under your ear when he heard you struggle around the words. 
You whined in response, tilting your head back.
He laughed lowly. “I know you know how to use your words, pretty girl.” 
The pet name caused a moan to escape your throat, and soon you were clenching around nothing. Your mind was far away, head in the clouds, from being with him like this again. “You…” 
“Where?” He pulled away from your neck, his lips plump. “Where do you want me?” 
“Eren…” You frowned, eyes half-lidded as you looked at him. Eren’s eyes retraced your expression, his hands brushing stray strands from your face. 
A cheeky grin spread across his cheeks. “You’re so damn cute.” 
“Everywhere,” You finalised, leaning up to capture his lips with yours. 
Eren got the message and wrapped his large hands under your thighs to pick you up. Your legs remained around him as he expertly approached the bed without looking. 
“Gotten a lot of practice at that?” You joked, breathless. 
But, Eren shook his head and kissed your cheek. “There’s only ever been you.” 
The thought brought heat to your ears, cheeks, and body, and soon, you were burning. “Me too.” 
“Fuck,” He half-laughed, half-groaned, laying you on the bed. Eren gave you a crazy grin before he opened his mouth, biting your shoulder. You tried to push him away, giggling, but you never forgot his strength. He went down your body, pulling your dress down your legs as he went, leaving open-mouthed kisses on your stomach. Gripping the sheets, you arched, keening into him, chasing the buzz of his lips and the feverish marks they leave. But before he reached your underwear, he sat back his heels and pulled his shirt over his head by the back collar—like he always did. 
There was nothing to be shy about, you’d done this a thousand times with him, but you placed a hand on your torso nonetheless. When Eren noticed this, he furrowed his eyebrows. 
“Nuh, uh, no being shy around me,” he whispered and picked your hand up, holding it as he leaned over you. You quickly spread your legs to make room for him between them, and he wasted no time filling the space, tucking his other arm underneath your shoulders and lifting you up so your chests were flush. “You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen and will ever see, understand? Us not being together doesn’t change that.” 
You sighed, tears springing in the corners of your eyes. Maybe it was the moment or the weeks of not speaking to the one man you trusted with your life, but you couldn’t help the words that tumbled out next. 
“I love you,” You mumbled, lifting your free hand up to fun through his hair, pulling the rest out of the bun. 
Eren smiled a tender smile you knew all too well, which he reserved for you during moments like this. “And I love you. I’m gonna show you how much, okay? Will you let me do that?” Eren’s voice was soft and warm, your skin ablaze, and your heart grew tenfold. 
You nodded, searching his eyes with your own. All you saw was tenderness, infatuation, and everything you had grown accustomed to in the last 4 years. You pressed your lips against him in a quick peck in response to his original question. 
Eren laid your body back onto the bed, trailing his hand down your side and into your underwear. You gasped at the coldness of his fingers as they dragged through your slit. 
“So wet, baby,” Two of his fingers started rubbing circles around your clit, making you arch into him. “Miss me?” 
“I thought we’d already established that, Jaeger… shit,” You squeezed your eyes shut when he pushed two fingers into you. 
“Don’t get sassy with me. You know how that goes,” Eren smirked, watching you fall apart from just his fingers. 
“Eren, don’t—oh fuck,” You moaned as soon as you felt his fingers go precisely where they needed to, his thumb on your clit. He knew you inside out, and you knew he was getting off on that thought. 
Pure white pleasure set fire to your insides as you climaxed, though the embarrassment of cumming so hard on just his fingers never came. Because it always ended like this. 
You looked down at your hips, where his hand was inside your underwear, and nearly blacked out from the sheer familiarity of your first time with him. “Take those off right now. We are not repeating our first time.” 
Eren barked a laugh, shaking his head as he pulled them down your legs. “I thought it’d be cute,” He mumbled. 
“Get up here,” You scolded, but the demand was lazy and playful, making Eren want you more (if possible).
He climbed up your body again, his pants and briefs on the floor, as his cock rested against your stomach when he kissed you. There was no time to be wasted, not when you’d waited months for this to feel him again. You always knew you would hold him again. 
Eren sat up, and you wrapped your hand around his cock, lazily pumping him a few times. He was hot and heavy in your fist, and the feeling was delicious. “I haven’t even touched you yet,” You giggled. 
His eyes found your core, where you were dripping onto his dark sheets and clenching nothing, and the sight made Eren moan and screw his eyes closed. “It’s just you… fuck Y/n.” 
And then you took your hand off him, and Eren’s jaw fell open, looking down at you.
“C’mon,” He whined, and you shook your head, laying back on his bed. 
“Fuck me, Eren.” 
At your crude words, Eren bit his bottom lip to stop his smile. “Yes, ma’am.” 
He hovered over you, his hair brushing your cheeks as he looked down to guide himself into you. He ran his cock through your folds a few times, causing you to jolt, before he sunk the tip into you. 
The stretch was like coming home after a long time away, burning with slight pain before the pleasure took over. You welcomed him back into you. Circling your arms around his neck, you buried your hands in his dark locks, pulling the way you knew he loved. 
“Jesus,” Eren cursed lowly when he bottomed out; the sensation of you around him was one he’d never forget. “You good?” 
“Yeah, baby,” You squeezed his sides with your knees, dragging your nails softly along his scalp. He didn’t move for a beat, eyes trained on your nose's scrunch and relieved smile. 
“Good girl,” He whispered, pecking your lips as he rocked in and out of you. Your hands pulled at his hair harder than before, and he groaned into your lips, your mouths touching but not kissing. “You’re so tight, fuck.”
And when he picked up his pace, you cried out into his mouth, the feeling and sound of his body on top of yours familiar and obscene. Above you, Eren made the pretty sounds you’d once begged to hear again. And soon, perhaps too soon, your stomach twisted into a coil again, his thrusts becoming too much when he continually hit that one spot like he always did. His voice became rough and desperate, panting your name before the volume increased. 
Words tumbled out of his mouth sloppily, curses and jumbled questions, and your name. His usual deep groans turned to whimpers, and the sound made you reach your high faster. 
“Close?’” Eren asked, running a hand down your body to find your clit, fingers slippery as they circled quick. 
“Mmhm, yeah,” You mumbled, nodding sporadically and arching your body to mould to his, his name falling from your lips like a prayer. 
And then, the coil in your stomach snapped, and the white-hot flash that burned you from inside set you ablaze. Your body opened up for him, and Eren chased to meet you at the top, his movements becoming sloppy as he fucked you through your high. You’re too sensitive, warm, and wet, but Eren came inside, filling you fully.
He groaned deep into your ear, shuddering, and at that moment, you vowed to never let him go again.
After your activities last night, Eren gave you his favourite t-shirt and wrapped you up nice and tight in his sheets. You kissed him repeatedly, making promises under the blanket of night, the moon your witness. Never again would you leave, not when you knew him like you did, when you’d spent four years of your life moulding to each other. You cried, Eren cried, you laughed, he held you, you flicked his forehead, he tickled you. It was like you’d never said the words that caused the downward spiral of your life in the first place. 
Reaching over to grab your phone off the bedside table, your notifications were filled with messages on messages from your group chat with Hitch and Annie, and… Reiner?
07:24 Hitch: Where are you?????? Answer pls!!!!
07:59 Annie: Y/n istg 
08:50 You: Sorry I was asleep
08:50 Hitch: Thank god 
08:51 Hitch: We’re gonna facetime rn 
You groaned and turned your head toward a sleeping Eren. His hair was all over the place, his face innocent and soft, his skin golden and back bare. He was all you could ever want and more.
You slowly lifted the charcoal grey duvet to swing your legs out and sat up. Your entire body ached, and your legs shook as you stood up. Stifling a laugh of embarrassment, you tiptoed out of his room, careful of the one creaking floorboard he’d warned you about the night before.
It wasn’t until you got to the living room that your phone vibrated with an incoming group Facetime. 
“Hi,” You said tiredly, trying to block as much background as possible; they knew your apartment better than you did. 
“Good morning,” Hitch glared through the screen. Annie said nothing. 
“What happened to your neck? Hm?” The brunette asked, her voice accusatory. 
You moved toward the couch, sitting on the lush black leather, tucking a pillow behind your back. “Oh, I tripped and fell—”
“Yeah, into Eren’s bed,” Annie cut you off. 
Hitch muffled a laugh, and you stared at her in disbelief. 
Your mouth opened and closed with no sound. “No?” You visibly cringed when the usual statement came out as a question. 
“Y/n!” Hitch yelled, a smile taking over her false scold. Annie rolled her eyes with a hint of a smirk. Then, all that could be heard was laughter. 
“Well, at least you’re okay. I mean, it’s just Eren,” Hitch giggled. You smiled at her, grateful for your friends. 
“Oh! Reiner texted me too,” You suddenly remembered seeing his name on your lock screen. 
“Reiner?” The confusion in Hitch’s voice matched the thoughts in your mind. Why would Reiner text you privately?
You clicked around your phone until you opened Reiner’s message. 
02:49 Reiner: i’m happy for u and all, but pls stfu
But you couldn't find it in yourself to care, even after the realisation that all your friends knew you'd slept together washed over you. Because all you cared about was him.
Blah, blah, blah… Eren, Eren, Eren…
a/n: prologue
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