#ew military dads au

[baconcolacan]

Guess which loser missed the military dads AU. I updated my pinned post with this AU, so you can read some details about it there :3c I just wanted something cute lmao, and I rlly missed drawing Hilarson. I love him and Tom in this AU <3 LETS GO WHOLESOME FAMILY MOMENTS. Heres the other......dads of the year,

Hilarson’s the only real dad tbh

[sleepdeprivedheretic]

The Boxer and the Beekeeper

Au divergence with Boxer Simon and Beekeeper gn reader <3 no y/n, just the constant use of the word "you"

cw: profanity, blood mentions and violence bc boxing, not to reader; just general cute fluff, tbh

. In this au, since Simon isn't into the military and doesn't deal with Roba, I'd love to think that his family is safe and sound (save for his dad bc ew). Our man's still traumatized, though, and keeps his family and work life pretty much separate

. Ghost is a formidable brick house son of a bitch, still though. Like, deals with threats pretty seriously either outside or inside the ring bc he doesn't take to kindly when his family are being targeted by opponents

. It's kinda hard to approach a scary asf big man in a mask from a horror movie franchise, covered in blood and sweat, giving off an intimidating aurora. Ghost is a well-known boxer within your own hometown community, though, and even a sweet bee-keeper like you either is or isn't into sports, his up-coming match is pasted all over billboards

. Travels a lot to different boxing matches, so either in the U.K or another place where you're probably at, he's there.

. I'd like to think Beekeeper reader has a shop that sells honey/products and flowers, and their bees and shit are in the backyard or something.

. Anyways. Imagine this brick-house, intimidating son of a bitch, fresh from a fight, bloody, sweaty, now dressed up and ready to go home, visits your quaint little shop so he can buy his mother fresh flowers

. Love at first sight? Ofc. His eyes are expressive, but like c'mon, this man thinks he's being obvious and reader? For our sake they're oblivious asf bc this is a masked stranger

. He pays more than the flowers are worth, much to you're protest, and promises to be back. And he does. Again and again, making small talk during each and every little visit throughout the year/s.

. About how the flowers are for his mother, upcoming matches, so on. Of course he asks you a lot of questions, how a plucky small (compared to his tall ass you are) beekeeper such as yourself are doing, what are the bees names, just anything in general.

. He's a good listener, sipping on the tea you've made him, mask ridden up to his face, yet at this point you've probably seen his face, idk. You offer for him to see your bees and flowers, trying not to giggle when he's all suited up, a ghost mask underneath the beekeeper hood I can't-

. It's getting dark out and you've realized that this is one of the many circumstances that he and you could talk for hours, or at least you, and him listening intently.

. Gives you tickets and a ride to see his upcoming matches, tbh. Like, his mum hugs you as you greet her in line, as she gushes on how Simon talks a lot about you, despite the hilarious look her youngest son's giving her.

. You bet your ass his ears are flushed red and he's a blushing mess underneath that mask.

. Takes the two of you a while to realize that you're dating, btw. Idiots in love bby

. Flowers! And snacks/food made with honey??? Always are gifted to him and he's so touched he doesn't know what to do- Like, small awkward hugs become more easy-going and lingering as time flies, honestly.

. This man would probably be into whittling wood or some cute/cool shit like that. Makes you little flower or bee figurines, or something different, like celtic knots or hearts bc I firmly believe this man has a little bit of Irish heritage (prolly from his grandpa or smthing idk)

. A hc I have of him, is that his birthday is November 1rst, or All Saint's Day bc why not, and you can fight me tooth and nail- but this bitch is a Scorpio- But anyways, after thoughtful planning of flowers, wine, and a lovely night out, is prolly when the two of you share your first kiss

. His mom, brother, sister-in-law, and hell even Joseph know that you two were dating even before ya'll started, so cue the knowing grins and smiles

Alright this is now off my chest, time to crawl back into hibernation <3

[kingtrash-dan]

Military dads AU?? Military dads AU. No credit for me for thinking of this, this is thanks to a reader of mine named Cledezma96 who suggested Tom and Tord have a lifelong argument about whose dads rock the military look more. I just happen to own a tablet, and their AU idea held me at gunpoint for months. This is the result. Edit: @cledezma96 I believe this idea is yours ^^

[adobe-outdesign]

DHMIS Series Liveblog/Initial Thoughts

Episode 1:

The trio can harmonize surprisingly well

Hearing Red shout was the most jarring part of the episode

It’s interesting how there are parallels to the main series. Red’s connection to phones, the two aging (like at the end of 2), Bird’s eye getting gouged out (that’s like the third time), and, of course, Bird being vored at least once

Someone call the phone numbers. I’d do it but they’re British

I love that briefcase. might be my new favorite teacher

Much like the main series, there’s some great symbolism/meaning to the insanity. I love “you can be anything you want to do” in particular, as well as how Red’s laziness is rewarded while Bird’s efforts are ignored

Episode 2:

Bird/Duck calling himself a crow-like thing is probably a nod to the early fandom days, where he was often mistaken as a crow and it was also used as his nickname for a bit

Think this goes without saying but Bird being dead and having his organs removed parallels ep. 5

I made a joke about the David thing and what that means so I won’t do it again

Always headcanoned Red’s mouth as being terrifying, glad to see that’s been validated

This show is fucking hysterical, they keep getting me when I least expect it

“ew claymation“ JFLKADJS;

the claymation is gorgeous. in fact the whole series is gorgeous

Can I adopt Stain they’re adorable

the Bird that died had maggots so that was Actual Bird. there’s negative continuity here though so that might not matter

glad to see the lamp finally sobered up

Bird’s obsession with the military references ep 2 of the OG series. there’s a black and white photo of him in the military in the BG

the thing with the coffin was hysterical. annoyed the teacher into submission

Episode 3

the ending fucking GOT ME aljdfskl; could they have cut that more perfectly

rare instance of Bird being the straightman instead of Red

confirmed, Bird is the dad and Red and Yellow are siblings. makes perfect sense

once again, phones are bad news

I love how skanked up those human puppets are with the janky eyes

probably the creepiest episode so far in terms of setting

unexpected Roy cameo

this series is impeccably paced. I feel like I’ve been watching for hours but it’s only been and hour and a half

Episode 4

HOW IS THIS SHOW SO FUCKING FUNNY two minutes in and I’m in hysterics already

“keep an eye on grease fire” alkdsjf. also Bird’s window thing was a nod to the second episode when Yellow was remembering him yelling at it for not respecting him

the name bit klakfdjflsa

let Red say fuck

let Bird say dick

weird seeing Colin not killing people

love how the worm eagle is not malicious so much as a fucking simp

Bird is both completely unhinged and also the funniest character in this show

weird wholesome Colin moment

if there’s a worm in your brain, pro tip: go to sleep or shower

Episode 5

I just realized that there are at least three episodes in this show where the teacher fucking dies

Red’s interview on It’s Nice That stated that he loved extreme sports so this isn’t surprising

the guy in the train costume is having a great time

the Clayhill reference fajlkds. this is nothing but in jokes and I love it

“they’re not here” “aw what” AJDFKSL;A; THE SHOW CAN’T KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH BEING THIS FUNNY

padlock canon and their kid is whatever the fuck that is. sure why the fuck not

Bird rests his head on Yellow’s shoulder to sleep and that’s adorable

Red just chucks Roy out the window. the correct response

the simulation thing is probably a nod to the main series, which literally took place in a TV

what the fuck was that ending. I sense plotish stuff

Episode 6

I think this is an AU that parallels the original series. so like the original series was a TV show, this is another fabrication. it doesn’t seem to be by Roy this time but that clown thing

love the design of this teacher a lot

this kind of parallels Red’s awareness in ep 6. of the original shorts

once again, the teachers get fucking dunked on. refreshing

oh I noticed the train teacher’s license plate said Lesley earlier. I just assumed that was the teacher’s name

I SUPER do not like the meat teacher running by like that

I also SUPER do not like Lesley outbursts, this is def the most eerie episode

Okay, shitpost thoughts aside, that was incredible (though that’s not surprising; I expect nothing less than Becky and Joe). The animation, puppetry, and sets? Impeccable. The humor? Probably the funniest thing I’ve seen all year. The surreal horror? On point. I am so, so glad we got this series on top of the already perfect original series.

Compared to the original series, this series is a lot funnier and probably less scary as a whole, though it does have its moments. It does an excellent job of expanding upon the original characters personalities and makes them pretty darn endearing. The plot does seem looser (which I’ll talk about below), but they may have planned for a potential second season. I would say that as a whole the original series is better (creepier, hits harder, more satisfying plot and resolution), but A) that was a goddamn masterpiece and I’d be impressed if anything topped it and B) this is still incredible in its own right.

I’ll need to chew on the plot more, but my initial guess is that this is an AU (the wall calendar says June 20 but the characters are their original colors, the teachers are nicer, and Roy is creepy but doesn’t appear to be controlling everything, nor does everything seem to take place in a TV like the original series).

Rather, I think this is telling a similar story to the original series, but in a different way. I noted some of the parallels above, such as Bird’s death, the world being fabricated, and the whole last episode is similar to 6, but with Yellow being the one who “woke up” in place of Red and Lesley replacing Roy. The teachers also don’t appear to be virtual simulations like in the original series.

So in this series, this Lesley character controls everything. She may just be a stand-in for Becky herself, or she may be a new character with her own backstory and reasons for doing this; we’ll probably have to wait and see (the book that was shredded probably would’ve explained this). Just like the original series, the world the puppets live in is fake, sort of a meta commentary on the show itself. It’s worth noting that unlike Roy, Lesley doesn’t seem to be killing the puppets and has a fondness for them to some extent. Make of that what you will.

[thisweekingundamwing]

This Week in Gundam Wing (Aug 29 - Sept 11, 2021)

That’s right folks!  Because of the long weekend last weekend, you all get a two-for-one this round-up!  Lots of excellent stuff from the fandom the last two weeks, so take a look and show your fellow fans some love!

--Mod LAM

Fanfiction

Dirty Computer (CH 11/?) by @doctormegalomania​ 

Pairings: Heero x Duo, Wufei x OFC

Characters: 5 pilots

Rating: MATURE

Tags / Warnings: minor violence, espionage, unreliable narrator, post-war, reference to past injury, implied/referenced self-harm

Summary:  Years after the war, nothing is what anyone hoped for. Peace reigns supreme.

Man Lion Thing Dude (CH 14-16/?) by @anaranesindanarie​

Pairings: Trowa x Duo, Triton Bloom x Duo

Characters: full cast, original Trowa Barton, OCs

Rating: EXPLICIT

Tags / Warnings: graphic depictions of violence, whump, blood, alternate universe, supernatural, were-creatures, family problems, arranged marriage, mentions of torture, smut, magic

Summary:  Duo Maxwell is estranged from the last of his remaining family who are demanding that he return home for an important announcement. Meanwhile, Duo has been having strange encounters with 'wild' animals, all of whom seem to be hunting him.

The Life of the Immortal Jellyfish (CH 15-16/35) by @lemontrash​

Pairings: Duo x Wufei

Characters: 5 pilots + Relena, Hilde, Noin, Une

Rating: MATURE

Tags / Warnings: post-canon, post-Endless Waltz, UST, roommates, Preventers, slow burn, insomnia, friendship

Summary: Is it chance that lands Duo and Wufei in the same university dorm room? They’re not stupid enough to believe that but too tired to fight it. Duo’s dragged himself back from the brink of going too far and remains teetering on the edge while Wufei’s doggedly trying to prove himself to the ‘good guys’ in the aftermath of the Eve Wars. Sleep and normalcy eludes them both. As they become increasingly aware how damaged they are, they start to edge towards friendship, or something more, but all too soon the peace seems jeopardised by a new and manipulative threat.

Prompt Fic by @gemstonecircles​ for @bryony-rebb​ 

Pairings: Wufei x Sally

Characters: Wufei and Sally

Rating: PG

Tags / Warnings: flashbacks, future fic, tropical diseases, best partners evar

Summary:  “I’d come for you”, he said. “No matter what, when you need me, I will be there.”

Prompt Fic by @gemstonecircles​ for @boxofhatebrains​

Pairings: Duo x Quatre

Characters: Duo and Quatre

Rating: PG

Tags / Warnings:  music, friendships, concerts, foul language, complicated relationships with faith, cherry-picking manga

Summary: “You free Saturday night?”

Prompt Fic by @gemstonecircles​ for @heartensoul​

Pairings: Duo x Relena, Heero x Trowa

Characters: Heero, Duo, Trowa, Relena

Rating: MATURE

Tags / Warnings: REO Speedwagon, future fic, receptions, reunions, getting together, smoking, shotgun kisses, first kisses, cherry-picking manga, FT what FT, look at my life look at my choices

Summary:  The reception, at least, was a welcome reprieve from most of the events that she’d been forced to attend in the last half-dozen years.

Prompt Fic by @gemstonecircles​ for @noirangetrois​

Pairings: Duo x Relena

Characters: Duo and Relena

Rating: Teen and Up

Tags / Warnings: stargazing, criminal trespass, future fic, FT what FT, discussion of panic attacks and mentioned ptsd

Summary:  “Well, guess we’re here until the solar storm clears,” Relena sighed...

Prompt Fic by @gemstonecircles for @seitou

Pairings: Heero x Trowa

Characters: Heero, Trowa, Relena

Rating: MATURE

Tags / Warnings:  1+R friendship, dates, home cooking, future fic, beers, fade-to-black sex, sweet dumb men in love, everyone ships it

Summary:  “I have good MREs that I was saving for a special occasion.”

Katahimikan by @ktsskb / katopiyoon AO3

Pairings: Duo x Quatre

Characters: Duo and Quatre

Rating: General

Tags / Warnings: post-Blind Target, Pre-Endless Waltz, non-confessions, pre-relationship

Summary:  “I’m just taking a little rest,” Quatre smiles. He lets himself get slightly more comfortable, loosening his posture.

Orgel by @ktsskb / katopiyoon AO3

Pairings: Duo x Quatre

Characters: Duo and Quatre

Rating: General

Tags / Warnings:  alternate universe, fantasy elements, established relationship, injured character

Summary:  Duo comes home late with a gift.

Fanart

Doodle Prompts (1x3x5) by @seitou

Heero x Relena (elf AU) by @lokineko 

OZ Military Ball (13x11) by @keiko1183

Zechs and Duo Hairbraiding by @keiko1183

Several by @gundayum

Wedding Bells (3x4)

Snuggles (1x2) 

Trowa’s a Pathetic Clown

Duo as the Little Mermaid 

King of the Hill (Heero, Relena and Bobby/Mariemaia, and Trowa)

Kinbaku WIP (3x5) by @2pcbart

Relena as John Cena by @farshootingstar

Quatre learning to knit by @farshootingstar

On the Wing by @theboringbluecrayon

Snuggles (3x4) by @circusoftrash

GW Crack by @circusoftrash

Heero EW Redraw by @mei-jimenez-art

Relena FT Redraw by @mei-jimenez-art

GW Kiddo Doodles by @lemontrash

Jellyfish Fic Art (2x5) by @sparkchemy for @lemontrash

Summer (1xR) by @alphaikaros

Zechs and Relena by @alphaikaros

Belated MerMay Relena by @serenestorm

Sexy Trowas (Part I, Part II, Part III) by @serenestorm 

Summer Duo by @owlinpajamas

Relena and Heero by @darksharinganz

Other Fanwork

Gunpla and Cosplay

Duo Maxwell Cosplay (Part I and Part II) by @itsjesskage​

HGAC Wing Zero by @macks-mechas​

Headcanons and Discussion

The Accidental (?) Seduction of Trowa Barton (3x4) by @a-river-of-stars

GoL Thoughts with @kittykatz​

Dorothy and Treize, Cathy and Trowa

Treize and Zechs

Treize, Dorothy, Heero, and Epyon

Lieutenant Trant Clark

Other Fun Stuff

GW Sims 4 Portraits by @eslanes​

Power Stances, with Zechs and Treize by @the-reanimated-bhg​

Quick: look pensive with gloves by @the-reanimated-bhg​​

@incorrectgundamwingquotes​ still making us laugh (example)

Memes and Macros

This is my boyfriend’s boyfriend (Rx1x2 and Hx1x2) by @portrayalmuse​

Dad Jokes Zechs (Part I and Part II) by @bonmotfic

Heero’s Romance Novel by @the-reanimated-bhg​

Coffee Puns with Cathy by @the-reanimated-bhg​

Requesting Leave with HR by @the-reanimated-bhg​

Zechs, the master of pick-up lines by @the-reanimated-bhg​

Spaghetti Westerns by @the-reanimated-bhg

Calendar Events

@gwcocktailfriday​ is back with this week’s prompt!  Be sure to post your responses on Friday (September 17) between 3-5PM EST!

@gundamzine has opened up the mailing list, so be sure to register to get your FREE PDF on October 1!  In the mean time, be sure to follow the account so that you can learn about the stellar 2021 Zine Crew members. Also consider donating to the team’s chosen charity, World Literacy Foundation (donations are optional, but encouraged).  In the meantime, check out some of the previews, with more to follow.

September is National Prostate Awareness Month and @expewrites​ and @boxofhatebrains​ are hosting a GW Prostate Health Event at @prostatehealth-gundamwing​ beginning September 1.  More info is available on the Event AO3 Page but in brief, options are to (1) create something or (2) donate to your prostate health organization of choice.

Sign-ups are officially open for the 2021 Holiday Gift Exchange with @thisweekingundamevents​!  Sign-ups close September 30, and participants will get their assignments in October, followed by the creation period November-December and finally posting in early January 2022.

@/ficwip (Twitter) is hosting a “Rise of the Dead Fandoms” event. Contributor sign-ups end on September 30, so be sure to register soon! Creation period runs September-October; posting will be in November. More info at their FAQ.

The @weedgrandpacookbook is an homage to the fanon of Mike Howard as the Gundam Wing’s chillest Weed Grandpa. Check out the Zine Calendar and  FAQ for more info and be sure to complete the interest check before September 30.

Spooky prompt idea generation for the GW Hallows Event will kick off mid-September, and posting period will happen in October.  Stay tuned to @thisweekingundamevents!

Keep an eye on @gwoc-october​​ while you’re at it for news on the GW Original Character (OC) October Event.  You can expect a prompt calendar to go live in September with posting in October…but you can also just use the month to showcase works with your original GW characters!

[crossovereddie]

Thoughts on S11xE4

Reminder that I’m not a spoiler free blog! I missed Mickey so much this week! Let’s see how much I swoon today.

Wow the showtime app really made me watch a preview then kicked me off the app. Cool.

Now I have to watch the preview all over again wft

DAD LIP INTRO IM CRYING

Their room situations still confuse me

Morning Mickey is my fave

Fuck terry

“Those are cocks....cock fighting. They like it” 😭

Ian why are you still shocked after all these years

I SPY YOU SHOOT

ITS A KIDS GAME

GET OFF YOUR FUCKING HIGH HORSE IM SCREAMING

I WANNA BE HIS MOTHER IM SAD AGAIN

I ALREADY LOVE IT

Ugh Carl 🙄

Oh my gosh franny 😂😂😂

I cant wait for my kid to be that age

Lip is the best :(((((

HOT CROSS BUNS ON THE RECORDER LMAO

I FREAKING HATE CARLS STORYLINE

SHOULDERS

Why do I cry when Mickey calls him ian that’s literally his name

GET AWAY CAR DRIVER STOP

Why is shameless so funny today???

MICKEY IS BEAUTIFUL

Let him eat his weight in fruit loops if he wants to

IM THE BOSS

There’s so many Milkoviches

Frank and terry face off

I FUCKING HATE TERRY

FIGHT HIM FRANK

SANDY BABY

“Kids are idiots. No offense franny” I LOVE HIM SO MUCH I WOULD LITERALLY GIVE HIM MY BEATING HEART IF HE ASKED FOR IT

HE OWNS MY HEART ALREADY HERE SIR ITS YOURS

PREACH IT SANDY UGH I LOVE HER

MICKEY STOP OH GOD

Frank forgot they were Milkoviches why did this warm my heart lmao

MICKEY STOP DEFENDING THEM

Brunch really does suck

Wtf Tami

PUT YOUR MASKS ON

Why am I siding with responsible ian all the time ugh I blame being a mom

“That’s why it’s not registered dumbass” MICKEY PLS

OKAY I LOVE IAN?????

“No. I like facts” baby I love you so much

I recognize the “my husband is an idiot” look on Ian’s face. I have that same look at least twice a day

I HATE TERRY!!!!!

I hate the Milkoviches but they add something to the show

I don’t mind them being back

As long as they don’t fuck with my baby

Carl please change careers

Debbie you idiot

Sandy lives with you DONT TAKE IT FOR GRANTED

move in with me instead sandy

Mickey and Ian are best friends pass it on

Mickey proud of his new job 😭😭😭😭

A NEW PLACE

THEY are Mickey. Not you. You’re so good baby boy :(

“I just didn’t wanna say that in front of your family” MICKEY SAYING IT TO IAN BECAUSE THATS HIS HUSBAND AND HE CAN BE HONEST AND VULNERABLE WITH HIM

Give me a military au

MICK

That always kills me!!!

HIS LITTLE SMIRK HE FUCKING KNOWS WHAT HES DOING

IAN IS SO CONCERNED FOR MICKEY

We love husbands

White boy carl

This man is gross

I love lip I will fight for him

.....I’m still so horrified that they made Carl’s awful partner a woman of color.

I’m gonna love this feud with the Milkoviches arent i?

Oh god poor franny

Fuck off tami

Okay she complimented him good

THIS TEACHER IS DISGUSTING

love Kate’s voice :(

Poor lip

“He really into all that British shit” lmao

LIAM LMAO

People not wearing masks is giving me anxiety

Me not even blinking an eye at ian and Mickey not wearing masks earlier lmao

MICKEY LOOKS SO CUTE

Seal team dicks oh my god

I cant get over how cute he looks

Kev 😂

HIS POCKETS I HATE HIM LMAO

THE LITTLE STACK OF MONEY 😂😂😂

Frank’s memory :(

Yeah that man is a piece of actual shit poor Tami

Seriously???? Sabotaging little kids???

I expect that from Debbie but not Vee

“Oscar Mayer bacon bitch” DEAD

STOP HER CARL WTF

This is horrific

I hate this scene so much

KEV 😂😂😂

Save the puppy from the Milkoviches

I LOVE KEV

Okay I’m nervous for Liam

I HATE THE MILKOVICHES

THEYRE RIDICULOUS LOLOLOL

Mickey sweet love could you please put a mask on honey pie?

Thank you

THIS MAN IS D I S G U S T I N G

SANDY

Yeah I def need a military au

A LEGAL JOB FOR MY BABIES

FIGHT HIM LIP

EW OLD LADY WHY TF

Yay I love that for V

I feel sad for tami

IT WASNT YOUR FAULT TAMI

LIP IS SO GOOD

I really do love him so much

Where’s Fred? Lmao

Carl :(

Carl deserves better than this shitty storyline

EWWW

Once again I enjoyed that episode! Not much ranting today. I’m shocked! I love Mickey so much! I’m gonna go rewatch it so I can truly enjoy it and not pause every time I’m gonna comment on something. Come talk to me about your thoughts! If you wanna know more in dept how I felt about scenes my asks are always open!

[gukyi]

for you, anything (post-script) | ksj

summary: in the midst of all of the coworker chaos over your newfound relationship, you and seokjin make a deal. 

{established relationship!au, friends to lovers!au, enemies to lovers!au}

pairing: kim seokjin x female reader genre: fluff word count: 2k warnings: bts being annoying coworkers a/n: shoutout to @aurawatercolor​ for being so wonderful and for commissioning this drabble’s monster predecessor: for you, anything!! thank you for being so patient with me and overall being a good friend of mine. much love!

Here

���Back off, he’s mine!” You shriek, furiously mashing your keyboard buttons as your eyes zero in on your computer screen. Maintaining as much of a grip onto your mouse and keyboard as possible, you push your office chair towards Seokjin’s in a desperate attempt to get him to lose his hold by crashing into him, bumper-car style. You hear the scratchy fabric collide, a soft thud that ricochets you forward, almost like you had crashed into a fuzzy rock. 

Naturally peeved, you turn around to find your boyfriend completely unbothered, having moved barely an inch. And yeah, you weren’t great at Physics when you took it in high school, but you have a feeling that that’s not how Newton’s Third Law works. 

Unfortunately for you, the split second you spend glaring at the back of Seokjin’s head means that he can go in for the killing blow, sword stabbing through the warrior king on the screen until he collapses in a pool of video game blood. The sound of a death cry and a cheer echos from your computer speakers, and you groan. 

“Not again,” you say, exasperated. You toss your head back against the chair, eyes rolling upwards, just enough to make out Seokjin eyeing you, a smug expression written all over his face. “I told you I had him.”

“You just weren’t fast enough, I guess,” Seokjin says casually, bouncing out of his chair to gloat to you all up front and personal. 

“You better share all of the money and rewards you got from that kill,” you demand, poking a finger against your cheek. Seokjin kisses you gladly, wrapping his arms over the chair and around you as he rocks your office chair side to side. The benefit of working together in Kingdom is that you always have backup you can trust (unlike some other MMO games, one of which rhymes with Meague of Megends), but Kingdom was designed for loot to be collected by whoever delivers the death blow, and not split evenly among all parties. 

Lucky for you, your boyfriend happens to be both good at the game and willing to share all of his treasure. 

“Ew, gross, PDA at three o’clock,” Jungkook says loudly, his whiny voice interrupting you and Seokjin’s lovers’ quarrel. 

“Ugh, just because you guys can have a successful and empowering relationship doesn’t mean you have to rub it in all of our faces,” Taehyung adds with a huff. At least nobody’s singing playground nursery rhymes about the two of you anymore. Since when last did people actually sit in trees, anyway?

“Get a room,” Yoongi deadpans as per usual. His attitude has not changed even though the state of you and Seokjin’s relationship definitely has. You know you can always count on him to give it to you straight. 

“Hey, no making out on office premises,” Namjoon says, barging into the room with his glasses tucked into the collar of his sweater, one of those pastel cream ones that dads who golf wear (though Namjoon is neither a dad nor plays golf). He’s switched to an iPad in recent weeks, which, despite being much more environmentally friendly, is still not Namjoon-friendly, and he often has to troubleshoot basic things like the functionality of the Notes app. Not to mention, his place of employment is filled with twerps who love doing things like spamming his camera roll and locking himself out of his own iPad. You think the record is three hours, but give the device to Hoseok and he’ll get it up to a couple of days with ease. “You guys agreed to that when you signed the employee handbook.”

“You always think so lowly of us, Joon,” Seokjin chides, and since he’s everybody’s best friend, he’s the only one who can get away with doing that. “We were just talking.”

“And playing Kingdom,” Yoongi pipes up, quickly switching away from his Haikyuu!!! tab. 

“If there’s a rule against Kingdom in the employee handbook, you’d have to fire all of us,” you remind Namjoon pointedly. Not even Yoongi would be spared, even if he’s terrible at the game itself. 

“But if you did, maybe Jungkook could finally live out his dream of being an E-sports gamer,” Taehyung adds, sending Jungkook into a tizzy. 

Seokjin scoffs, “He’d have to knock me and Y/N out of first and second place first, though.” 

“But please don’t fire us,” Taehyung pipes up weakly. 

“Nobody’s getting fired. You guys just better be doing your work,” Namjoon says. “Hey, it says that my iPad is going to be updated later tonight, do I need to do anything about that?”

Everyone groans. 

“Hey, what if we got married?” Seokjin nudges you with his shoulder. 

You sputter out the water you had been drinking all over your desk. “Married?” It dawns on you that shouting out that word in an office filled with nosy coworkers may not be the brightest idea. 

“You guys are getting married?” Taehyung shrieks excitedly. “Oh my God, I call being best man!”

“You don’t get to make that decision, idiot!” Jungkook shouts. “Besides, Seokjin would totally pick me over you anyway.”

“Who says?”

“Guys, we’re not getting married,” Seokjin says before the whole office breaks out into a brawl. Taehyung’s expression falls, sinking back into his chair, defeated. Yoongi had even quirked up for a moment before immediately turning back to his anime. “At least, in real life, we’re not.”

“Oh, you meant in-game?” You ask, the realization dawning on you. You notice everyone in the office eyeing you and Seokjin. Glaring at each and every person, you say, “He meant in-game, mind your own beeswax, you nosy freaks.” 

“Obviously,” Seokjin says with a roll of his eyes. “I love you, Y/N, but seeing as how we started dating three months ago, I think that marriage is pushing it. But in Kingdom, yeah, why not? We’ll get a lot of buffs from being married.”

Seokjin’s got a point. Being married in Kingdom means that the two of you will share wealth, property, and have the option of combining special powers during battles. It also means that the game will split boss and player rewards evenly amongst the two of you without you having to do it manually. Besides, isn’t it only right for the top two players in the game to get married? Assert their dominance? Remind Jungkook that he’ll never be an E-sports gamer for Kingdom? 

“Sounds like a plan,” you say, easily convinced. Besides, Seokjin could ask you to hand over all of your coins in the game, leaving you penniless, and you wouldn’t bat an eyelash. “We can do it later tonight.”

“My place? We can order takeout.”

“Only if we can get some cheesecake as well,” you say. 

“Done.”

Seokjin plants another kiss onto your lips before returning to his own desk, your office chairs facing away from each other as you get back to work, the promise of a nice meal and some quality time together keeping you motivated. 

Out of the blue, you say, “I would have said yes, you know.”

“To what?” Seokjin asks, not even turning around. 

“To asking if we could get married,” you tell him. He rounds on you, eyes wide. “I would have said yes.”

Seokjin seems frozen in place before he caves, body relaxing as his entire face begins to glow, red and orange and pink. “Tell you what,” he says. “I’ll ask again later, and if your answer is still the same, then we can.”

“How much later?” You ask. You don’t like to be kept waiting. Especially since the both of you know that your answer almost definitely won’t falter. 

Seokjin grins. “You’ll see.”

There

“I never liked fancy dresses,” you comment, pulling at the collar of the white dress lacing your features, hugging your body like a bedsheet. It’s scratchy and uncomfortable and restricting, making you feel like you can’t eat a single apple without popping open. There’s a veil with a train the size of the castle behind you, and the tiara on your head is so heavy and sharp that ti feels as though you’re about to topple. All this for a wedding?

“Good thing you’ll never have to wear one again after this, right?” Jin whispers back, the two of you facing the officiant before you as a crowd of onlookers watches the two of you. 

“Is that a promise?” You ask. “We’re making a lot of promises today, aren’t we?”

“And I will keep every single one of them with honor,” Jin says dramatically. It almost makes you reach out to punch him in the shoulder, but you don’t for the sake of publicity, hands wrapped tightly around the bouquet, filled with roses and tulips and carnations. You can’t believe you’re saying this, but you think you prefer your knight’s garb. At least it comes with flat boots. 

You even tune out what the officiant is saying, an old, monotonous advisor who oversees all military weddings, waiting boredly until you are prompted to respond. Time usually goes by rather quickly in the Kingdom, whether you are strolling through the market or on the battlefield, but here, it feels as though it’s taking forever and a day. Discreetly, you turn to look at Jin, who notices your gaze and rolls his eyes, just to make you laugh. At least the both of you feel the same about this whole thing. You wish there were an easier way to do this, perhaps just going to a courthouse and signing some papers and making a vow or two. Does the entire kingdom have to watch? 

“Do you promise to uphold these values, Jin?” The officiant asks. 

“I do,” Jin says. 

“Do you promise to uphold these values, Y/N?” 

Relieved that it’s finally coming to an end, you nod. “I do.”

“Then, by the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss.”

Immediately, Jin turns to you, reaching an arm out to hold onto your waist as he pulls you towards him, your faces pressed up against each other, breaths hitting each others’ skin. 

“I’ve been waiting all day to do this,” he whispers softly. 

“Then don’t hold back,” you challenge. 

In one fell swoop, Jin presses a kiss on your lips, soft and warm and gentle. It’s filled with more promises than the officiant could even dream of making, filled with more vows than any wedding ceremony could produce. What this is is more than a silly pledge, a matrimonial technicality. It is an oath. To protect each other. To care for each other. To love each other.

And you know, without a shadow of a doubt, that for the rest of time, until the sun collapses and the moon vanishes, that you will.

↳ links are broken, but don’t forget i’m still taking commissions!

[companionwolf]

All of the even numbers for your favorite ask game, please.

2 - Their sexuality/sexual preference?

PC, Alice, and Alex are aro/ace. Espeon is a ace lesbian. Tulip, Davey, and Madison are bi.

4 - Their favourite season?

PC likes spring; Tulip and Madison like summer; Alice and Alex like fall; Davey likes winter.

6 - Their gender?

PC, Davey, Alice and Espeon are all cis (makes and then females). Tulip and Madison are trans women, and Alex is non-binary.

8 - What clothing style?

Davey wears button downs with slacks, turtlenecks, basically a relaxed step above everyday wear. Tulip wears jeans/jean shorts, t shirts, jean jackets; combat boots are a must. Alex wears very Everyman type clothes- hoodie, jeans, sneakers. Madison wears stolen and repurposed military clothing, hunting jackets, that kind of thing.

10 - Their favourite thing to do after a break-up?

Answered!

12 - How many serious relationships have they been in?

Tulip’s been in 2, Davey has been in 1.

14 - What languages do they speak?

Davey is learning Spanish, Alex is fluent. Tulip knows a little of ASL. Alice is learning Hebrew. Madison knows a bit of many languages.

16 - favorite comfort food?

Tulip likes gourmet macaroni and cheese; Davey likes sweets; Alex likes quesadillas. Madison like sweet apples.

18 - music taste?

PC likes video game soundtracks, and ambient soundscapes. Espeon like top 40. Alice likes classical. Tulip like punk rock and folk punk. Davey likes classic rock. Alex likes electronica and lo fi. Madison likes oldies.

20 - Something they do that seems childish to others?

PC has a unburning desire to own a sword. Espeon uses current slang and swears a lot (Tulip also does this). Alice likes singing along to musicals. Davey unironically enjoys coloring. Alex collects action figures. Madison is impulsive.

22 - all time favorite movie?

I’ll come back to this one, I need time to think about it.

24 - Are they close to anyone specific in the family?

PC, Espeon, and Alice make up each other’s close family. Davey is close to his mother. Tulip is estranged from both parents; Alex is as well. Madison was closer to her dad, when he was alive.

26 - Are they an emotional person?

Tulip, Madison, PC, and Espeon are in descending order.

28 - guilty pleasure?

Like 22, I’ll come back to this eventually.

30 - Do they like kids? Do they want kids/have kids?

PC and Alice like kids: Espeon tolerates them. Tulip and Davey dislike them; Alex and Madison is indifferent. No one actively wants a child.

32 - Do they have any tattoos?

Tulip has a professionally done tat of a Ramshackle Glory quote ‘keep on loving keep on fighting’ stylistically inside a atomically correct heart in her back; Alex has a stick and pole of a moon and stars on their wrist.

34 - What is their hair colour? Is it their natural colour?

Tulip’s hair is black, Davey’s is dark blond, and Alex’s is black with a stray lock of white hair. Madison is a natural red head.

36 - Do they like marmite?

Davey likes it, Tulip and Alex hate it. Madison doesn’t know what that is (but she would pretend to like it to make people go ‘ew gross!’)

38 - do they believe in the supernatural?

Everyone except Alice does.

40 - Have they ever had a near-death experience?

PC has a few NDEs during fabricated, and at the start of Bad End AU (as do the humans). Espeon has technically, considering she should have died when the Elder shot at her, and on technicality so has Madison (being in the field for XCOM). Alice has not.

42 - What are they like when they’re drunk/what kind of drunk are they?

Tulip is a happy drunk, very talkative. Davey is a angry drunk, but he Knows he is, and often self regulates. Alex is a quiet drunk. PC, in bad end au, is a sad drunk, very emotional and weepy. Madison doesn’t drink on account of alcoholism in her family.

44 - What is the first thing they do when they wake up?

Tulip goes to the bathroom. Davey checks his phone. Alex lies there for a few extra seconds. Madison puts on her glasses and glances around to make sure it’s safe.

46 - How do they like their tea/coffee?

Tulip like coffee with just a few scoops of sugar and a bit of cream. Davey likes his black. Madison likes coffee that’s more 99% milk and sugar. Alex doesn’t drink coffee or tea.

48 - Are they a virgin?

None of the sex having humans are virgins.

50 - Are they good at remembering significant dates? Anniversaries, birthdays etc?

Tulip, Madison, and Espeon forget, Davey and PC put them in their phones, Alex and Alice remember.

[dadstarkk]

Prime numbers

Alright :D Let’s see how this goes:

2. Talk about three of the most important ships throughout your life.  uhhh okay- Chandler and Monica were a big part of my childhood/teen years. I relate to Chandler A LOT, and they were just a great pairing. Then Luke and Lorelai were the big one. And now, Sam and Jack have taken over my life. imo SamJack are a near perfect ship- they respect each other, work so well together, each have their own lives, they complement (and compliment) each other, and so on. Plus, they just look so damn good together

3. What’s your current OTP? Sam and Jack. Also, Phryne and Jack (I’m realizing how many of my ships have a Jack in them- it’s a bunch)

5. Do you have any poly ships? Nope, just not really my thing.

7. How do you feel about RPF? I had to google this. Is this real people fiction? If so, then I don’t like it at all. Ship characters all you want, but I really just don’t get shipping real people, especially people who are already married to someone else or sending them hate mail for not being with someone they don’t want to be with. It icks me out…a lot. 

11. Talk about your favorite first kiss. So many good ones to choose from. I’m gonna go with Brenda and Fritz on The Closer. They’d been kinda dating and Fritz came to pick Brenda up for their movie date. She’d forgotten and he realized she may not be able to fully commit to a relationship. They were about to shake and agree to just be friends, but Brenda pulls Fritz in for a kiss and it was wonderful and too short, because they were promptly interrupted by a knock on the door.

13. Has a ship ever broken your heart? Yeah, Luke and Lorelai when then broke up. Oh, or when Rose and the Doctor were saying goodbye in “Doomsday”

17. Talk about a pairing you’ve stopped shipping romantically. So there’s ships where I don’t like them romantically together anymore, as in I want them with other people, and then ships I don’t really care about anymore. Castle/Beckett fall under the latter. If I could ever get myself to watch the show again, I’d still want them to be together, but I don’t have an interest in the show/ship at this point. In my opinion, the writers couldn’t figure out what to do with Castle and Beckett. Years of build up and fake outs, finally get together, kept putting off the wedding for idiotic reasons and then I think I heard that they weren’t even really working together anymore and then had there been a 9th season, it would have been without Beckett, so yeah.

Oh! I thought of one for the first ‘definition’- Jeff and Britta on Community. Early s1-s2 ish, when I was first watching the show, I shipped them, but then later on didn’t like them together. Also, when rewatching the show relatively recently it was more clear to me that they really never worked. 

19. Have you ever shipped something despite yourself? I have, but I can’t figure out which ship it was. I know there was at least one because I have a post about shipping something despite the fact that I really didn’t want to. So I found the post- I think it may be in reference to The Blacklist. I really didn’t want to ship Red/Lizzie, because before starting the show I’d heard there was a possibility he could be her father and I was like ‘ew yuck no no no’ but then they kinda said “hey, not the dad” and I started shipping it and then the show went crazy and I gave up. This was a really weird ship for me.ooh or take SG1, for example. I went into the show specifically trying not to ship anyone. But then right off the bat, it was like ‘fuck you. Have some Sam/Jack’

23. Which of your ships deserve better writing? A lot of them. Sam and Jack. The show in general could have used better writing, but the relationships were horrible, and I’m mostly happy that Sam/Jack was never really written into the show.

29. Do you need to ship something to really enjoy a movie/book/tv show/comic? Not really, and I have plenty of shows/books/movies without ships, but I find that I stick around more for ships (depending on the show), and I’ll sometimes stop watching something because of a ship. There’s usually other things wrong with the show at the point I give up on it, but if I’m pretty much only watching for a ship and it’s gone to shit, I’ll likely give up. I find movies I can usually get along just fine without ships, but they’re more important to me for shows (probably b/c you can actually develop the relationship).

31. Talk about one of your favorite headcanons for a ship you love. Damn you for making me answer a question about headcanons :P You know I suck at this. I don’t really have headcanons for shows or ships :/

37. Do you have a favorite trope and/or AU for your OTP? ooh yes. I love forced/accidental/fake dating or marriage. Oh and bed sharing. I’m not a huge fan of AUs. I am, however, really into Sam/Jack as detectives because it’s not too too far from them being in the military, but still offers some interesting changes that I’m really digging.

Send me a number and I’ll talk about my ships

[bleedingcoffee42]

For the request of RoyAi and X-Files and I’ve been wanting to write the Arcadia “fake married in a weird suburban subdivision” episode for a while.  Also...not even close to 5 sentences...sorry. Also not a true AU as it’s an episode.  And...also Ed tries to ruin it so it’s kinda not anything right.

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

“Quite the welcoming committee.” Roy said and looked over at Riza as they pulled into the drive of their new home.  He grinned, excitement just bubbling from every inch of him.  Finally.  A fun mission.  He had every reason to refer to her as his wife.  His love.  Riza.   He was beyond happy.

“Maybe you can tone down the excitement a little.”  She said.  “We're an old married couple.”

“Only ‘cause you got knocked up as a teenager.”  He said and she smacked him as he put the car in park and the moving truck pulled in beside them.   “What?  I'm not the one who agreed to let Ed come along.  You had to realize we would have to adjust our cover stories to accommodate him.”

She took a deep breath.  “Please, behave.  Please remember this is for a mission.”

“Slim chance of that.”  He said.   “Have you met your first born?”

Riza looked over as Ed jumped out of the moving van to greet the new neighbors.  “Yes, so get out there and play your part.”

“Yes, honey.”  Roy said and got out of the car with a smile on his face.  He was going to enjoy this mission to i’s fullest but then Ed saw a way to ruin his fun and join in.   Now he was fake married with a fake kid.  And that kid sucked.   So it was time to ruin his fun too.  He walked over and threw his arm around Ed and loudly said, “Hey son, already getting to know the neighbors huh?”

Ed shook off the hug and smirked.   “Well you and Mom were taking your time getting out of the car. Kind of rude, really.  These people brought apple pie!”

He would throw caution to the wind just to get some pie.   Roy held out his hand.  “Hey, nice to meet you. I'm Roy Hayate and this is my son, Ed and that’s my beautiful wife Riza.”

The welcoming committee all chirped hellos and greetings until one stepped forward.   “I'm Roger Trumbull, head of the neighborhood watch.  My wife Tracy..our daughter Kate...”

“Oh good, someone your own age Ed. Go play.”  Roy tried to shove him away but the stubborn kid just shoved back.  

“I'm fourteen, I don't play anymore.” Ed growled and the small party of people started to migrate to Hawkeye who was trying to carry her luggage into the house.  Luggage with a break down rifle and ammunition.  Never leave home, or move to a new one, without it.

“Except with yourself, ha.”  Roy tussled Ed’s hair and saw that look of challenge.   That look, followed by a sinister smirk that said 'game on'.   “Go help your Mom carry that suitcase.”

“So, what do you do for a living Roy?”   Roger asked.

“Nothing.   He's useless.”   Ed said.  “Mom makes all the money.”

“Doing what?”  Roger prodded.

Ed felt Roy's shove to try to get him to leave.  Nope.  “She specializes in flame retardant materials.”

“Fascinating.”  Roger said.

“She is.  Love of my life. “ Roy chuckled and put his hand on Ed's shoulder and squeezed hard enough to feel the kid cringe.  He just blew their cover story and thankfully he said it all loud enough for Riza to hear.  God Ed.  You little shit.  “Riza, works from home and I am lucky enough to work from home too.”

“You're probably wondering how this loser could be my Dad right?”  Ed interrupted.   “Me with blond hair, him with black hair.  Makes you wonder if there might be some Game of Thrones stuff going on with Uncle Jean over there.”

“Stop implying you're a bastard by anything but choice, Ed.”  Roy said. “Like I explained before, genetics are incredible.  The blond gene is recessive on my side and you lucked out and got your Mom's looks which will hopefully help compensate for your shitty attitude.  I wish you'd take an interest in science, it's all very simple really.  Just apply yourself, son.”

“Roy! Ed!”  Riza called from the house.  “Do some work!”

“Yes, you must be moved in by 7 pm.” Roger said.  “Per homeowners association rules.”

“Rules are meant to be broken.” Ed said and the neighbors all looked at him mortified.

“Not anymore, young man.”  Roy said and finally shoved Ed towards the moving truck. 

“We'll help you unpack!”  Roger said when he looked at his watch.  “Only an hour and a half before you have to be done!”

The neighbors rushed to the truck as if there would be a firing squad waiting if the moving truck remained in the driveway one minute too long.  Roy couldn't help but ask.  “Or what?”

There was nervous laughter and most of them pretended they didn't hear his question.  Ed scanned the cul-de-sac.  “Well, Dad, hope you don't mind if I check things out.”

“Just make sure you announce yourself when you get home, son.”  Roy said and smirked.  “Your Mom and I might want to do some celebrating.”

“Ew.”  Ed said and closed his eyes. “I should report you to the authorities for even talking about that in front of me.”

“Still time for you to get a ride back with Uncle Jean.  You could check out the military academy or boarding school. I told you I wasn't going to make you come.... “ Roy then let a smirk creep across his face. Threat or not, he would make this kid retreat  “Your Mom on the other hand...”

“EW!”  Ed screamed.  “Dinner better be on the table when I get home, Dad.  And it better not be burnt.”

Roy watched him run off, annoyed that he couldn't force him to leave with the rest of the team.  He watched the neighbors struggle to unpack the moving truck with muscles they didn't have and an air of panic about then that made him wonder what could possibly happen if this truck was still here past 7.  

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

“I didn't actually think you could cook.”  Ed said as he shoved food into his mouth and savored every bite.  “This is good.  Really good.”

Riza was enjoying dinner as well but she could see Roy was just picking at it, his fantasy vacation had been ruined when Ed volunteered to come along.   It was about the mission, Ed would be great at surveillance as a unruly teenager and even Roy had to admit that.  However he really wanted to live the fake married trope' to the fullest and Ed got in the way of that.   “Did you discover anything?”

“Every house looks alike.  There is a curfew.  This place creeps me out.”

Roy picked at dinner.   “You missed the neighbors practically running to their homes at 7.”

“That fountain in the middle of the community reminds me of  the one in Liore.”  Ed said and thought about it.  “Like old world religion-y and pretentious, spilling over with false hopes and promises and lies.”

“Dear Diary...” Roy mumbled.  “I moved in with my new fake family today and I am appalled by the uniformity and hopelessness seeping from every fiber of suburban life.  I feel so repressed.  Like this place will suck away my individuality.   Nobody understands me...I'm so edgy...”

Riza sighed.  “Here we go.”

Ed sat up in his seat and prepared to do his Mustang impression.  He ran his hand through his hair and waved his arm wildly and snapped.  “Well Fullmetal, maybe if you weren't so short sighted you would see I was planning to use this mission as a way to win over the love of my life, because the only way she'd fall for me is if was literally the only man in a fifty mile radius who wasn't part of some weird suburban drug cartel cult in the hills.”

They glared at each other until Riza stood and took away their plates.

“Wait, I wasn't done.”  Ed said.

“You two better not ruin this mission.”  Riza growled.

“He already has.”  Roy grumbled. “Why couldn't we bring the dog?”

“No dogs allowed.”  Riza put the plates back down as Ed looked at her with the most pitiful eyes and she couldn't deny him his meal.

“See, they're evil.”  Roy said. “Who doesn't allow dogs?”

“I'll go out tonight and see what I can find out.” Ed promised.

“Like all night?”  Roy asked and felt a kick to his shin.  “What?  We're married!”

“Fake married.”  She said.  

“I want to find out what happens when we violate the no loud noises after 10 pm rule.”  Roy said and heard Ed gag a little.  

“I hope she shoots you for being so...gross.”  Ed said and stood up to get a second helping.  “Which is not a reflection of how I feel about your cooking because this is really good.”

“Thanks.”

“You're the best cook Dad.”  Ed said and laughed.   “Best keep your ass in the kitchen where it belongs.”

Roy gave Riza a glance and she seemed so soft and relaxed, despite this being a mission and having to be careful what they said around Ed, she seemed to be enjoying herself. He still wished they brought the dog instead of Ed, but maybe this wouldn't be a ruined mission after all.  

[baconcolacan]

Do Tom and Tord ever dance together? Will they ever dance together? (All aus lol) been watching to much black swan

I really REALLY wanted to draw for this so I put it off ask, but I’m sooo tired today so I’ll just put this on drawing queue and answer:

Regimen: On the corpses of their (Tord’s) enemies maybe. Tom will not be happy about it.

MilDads: I never meant for this one to have any ships (aside from the dads I guess??) so platonically sure! Plus they’re kids so “dancing” will mostly consist of Tord spinning Tom around.

Stay (best for last lmao): Tord gets invited to a lot of galas and summits, and sometimes there would be subdued parties in ballrooms. When music for dances come on, and couples start meeting each other in the middle of the room to sway together…..all he can really do is look across the room, at his husband who is stationed with his other guards. Tom will smile at him, small and unseen by everyone else, but Tord won’t be able to stop his longing.

He dreams sometimes, of taking his beloved out to the floor, hold him close, and dance like it was only them there. With Tom, it always felt like it was only them in the world, and their frozen moments in time, when he wasn’t Red Leader, and just Tord Larsin.

He has his happy ending, but he wishes it could be happier.

[baconcolacan]

Does red leader make his birthday a huge thing?? (Both aus, idk about military dads-)

Regimen: HELL YEAH! Its a huuuuge fancy shindig! BUT Tord won’t attend, too paranoid, buuut people better be celebrating hard bc:

Mildads: You dont gotta worry about this one, Tord gets turned off from the military (because of his dads) so no Red Leader, he goes off to pursue mechanical engineering ^^

Stay AU: Big fancy party, mostly for appearances, schmoozing, and rapport building with whatever world leaders are left.

Once that’s done, he celebrates with a bbq night with his closest staff (Paul, Pat, Matt, Tom)

When he gets home tho, thats when the real celebration starts. Movie/game night with Tom plus, well, other married couple stuff he gets to call the shots on, yknow 👀

[baconcolacan]

What would happen if someone, you know, got to close to Tom ? To close for Tords liking

(Both aus, idk about military dads)

Regimen: They fucking die. Stay: He'll just be insanely jealous the whole time but won't do anything, cause "healthy romantic relationships allow for other interpersonal relationships, of every kind, excluding those romantic if not comfortable with either partner." - Tord's therapist. It won't stop him from glaring after the person who got close to Tom at every opportunity though, or how hard- and loudly- he'll start grinding his teeth together every time he sees that person near Tom. He will be civil with them, for Tom's sake, but it'll be like talking to a shitty AI chatbot. "So...Tom tells me you like building Gundemb models, Leader?" "Oh me too! Which supermodel do you like?"

"Uh, no, Gundemb model, sir." "Yeah I like guns :)" He does this on purpose. He gets over it when he goes home though, Tom will call him a pissbaby for acting like a brat with his new friend, but he'll get kisses anyway when they cuddle in bed, so who really wins?? Military dads: I know you said you dont know 'bout this one, but in this AU they actually grow up in pretty healthy, loving, and stable (as stable as it can get) homes, and their dads are pretty good at cutting off any goofy clown behavior they might develop (Yes shockingly, this includes Paul and Pat being responsible enough to make sure their son doesnt grow up to be a weeby incel). So in this one, Tord doesn't really mind all that much, cause he and Tom grew up together anyway and they're still friends. Those years together will always mean more than a new friendship, especially since they still pretty much get along super well.

[baconcolacan]

Sorry about all the regimen asks-

Any fun facts about military dad au or stay au? They can be as funny or as stupid as you want them to be

Hahs its okay anon! I do appreciate your enthusiasm for it, theres just certain things I can’t tell.

AU Fun facts!

MilDad:

>It’s Yanov’s fault Matt has access to guns to give to bears

>Yuu rides a motorbike, which ultimately influences Edd to get one of his own one day.

>When at the camp, Hilarson asks Tom if any of his friends were there. If Tom says yes, Hilarson will kidnap the other three away from their parents/“parent” <— in Edd’s case.

“It’s child endangerment leaving them with you.” - Hilarson @ Paul/Pat/Yuu/Yanov

>Paul had to stop smoking after the incident where Tord ate one of his cigarettes.

Stay:

>Other than Gundam models, Tord is also good at doll customization. He has a YT channel for it, named Akawaii. He uses a voicemod.

>Growing up, Matt was super insecure about liking more femme stuff, it contributed to his depression. To help him be more open about his interests, Tom wore femme/gnc clothing throughout highschool. It helped a lot.

>Edd has a kittydoll named Rosie. He loved it growing up, which concerned his mother since it wasn’t traditionally for boys, she would always try to get him to like more neutrally traditional things like teddy bears. He did not like teddy bears.

>Tom wants to care for amphibians/reptiles, but its too much responsibility, and costs a lot, so he doesn’t for now. He likes rain frogs the most.

^^ In relation >Tord has a frog hat which he wore on one of their dates. Tom was mortified, but it was also funny and sweet. Very mixed feelings about that date.

[baconcolacan]

Do Tom and Tord end up getting together in the military dad au when they’re older? How do their parents feel about the relationship?

Hrn, you know anon? I never actually thought about making any ships in that AU. It was wholly dedicated to domestic family tropes and some of my slight need to have Hilarson be the only functioning-albeit short-tempered- adult in Eddsworld.

But okay, lets do a what if: IF they get together, they don’t have to worry about anything. Who DOES need to worry are Paul and Patryck bc their son just made a move on- at this point in time’s- General Hilarson’s son. Thomas. Who General Hilarson loves more than the entire world, his only family, his kid who he has always been overly protective of, the boy he actually cried over when even the thought of him ever growing up and moving away so much as peeked around his subconscious.

Not only that but Paul and Pat have been a bit of a headache for Hilarson their whole careers.

Hilarson would never lay a hand on the kids.

But his subordinates?

Yipes

[baconcolacan]

How old was Hillary when he got Tom? Are they biologically related or is Tom adopted? Was Tom shy at first as a kid? Was Tom afraid of the dark as a kid? How did Hillary take care of that??

(I am a sucker for found family OK?)

Hilary adopted Tom when he was 26! Tom was 2 years old when he was adopted.

Tom was NOT shy as a kid, he bit Hilarson when he tried to touch him. Lockjawed like a crocodile and everything.

Tom wasn’t afraid of the dark, he likes it, often finding small dark places to huddle up in. What he WAS afraid of was loud noises, which is also funny bc of what Hilarson is known for, but Hilary was good at being quiet too. He spoke to Tom very softly when they were at home, until Tom trusted him and felt comfortable enough with him, eventually not even minding his loud voice volume at work.

He only acts shy and cute with people he likes, aka his dad and his friends, but will revert back to rabid gutter raccoon with any other stranger.