#evil dead time loop fic…

[theboost]

Going through old fanfic I’ve written that i will never finish and laughing my ass off I really am the funniest person alive

[adventures-in-mangaland]

Yet Another Dead Boy Detective Fic Rec List

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

I've been having so much fun with these, so I've decided to make another! See above for links to my other fic rec lists. ♥️

Like We're Gonna Die Young (Again) by RoseGanymede95

The latest installment in the superb Codependency World Cup series has the boys attend a nefarious house party and grapple with old frenemies, 90s fashion and temporary amnesia. Also fleshes out their achingly sad backstories, but compensates with the triumphant return of Pierre the rabbit.

When I Picture You by Gruoch

Charles gets braceleted by the Cat King instead of Edwin and receives his heart's desire... being alive again. This author has a special gift for taking fun sounding premises and turning the angst up to 11. So excellent.

young blood (never get chained) by ghostinthelibrary

University AU in which half-demon Charles intervenes in Edwin's ritual sacrifice and inadvertently binds their souls together... I'm genuinely obsessed with this AU, it has so much potential for tons of delicious tropes. Human!Edwin getting a crash course in supernatural shenanigans! Soulmate vibes!Found Family! Demon lore! What's not to love??

Ghosts and Monsters by justafandomfollower

Charles is also sacrificed and the boys meet in Hell! Fantastic premise and executed really well. I loved Masterful Edwin taking charge and protecting Charles while inwardly despairing. Highly recommended.

back to back they faced each other by ShanaStoryteller

The Night Nurse has a theory about how Charles was able to rescue Edwin from Hell so quickly... I'm genuinely shocked I haven't recced this one already. Sorry guys, I forgor. Anyway, this has interesting "Guardian" (angel?) lore, great meta and we even get some temporary amnesia as a treat.

boyfriend jacket by skadii

5+1 times Edwin borrowed Charles' jacket. The characterisation is on point, and it has some great OCs (Kyle the snarky seeing-eye cat!) and really sweet payneland moments. Plus Charles' jacket doing its most to annoy the Cat King.

Looking Like the Sunrise by letters_of_stars

Edwin thinks he's cursed so he and Crystal must team up to solve the case of his Mysterious and Suddenly Appearing Rizz. Funny and sweet friendship fic with some quality Edwin-Crystal bonding and discussions of trauma.

The Case of the Anonymous Confession by Mayarenerose

College AU featuring Charles posting an 'anonymous' online confession about his complicated feelings for his bestie. The closet is glass, but Edwin is oblivious and Crystal is in pain. Cute and funny epistolary social media fic done really well.

the middle of something wonderful by KiaraSayre

Does what it says on the tin and gives us a trope salad of cosy vignettes, including a time loop, temporary amnesia, sudden corporality and Crystal and Edwin trying to get a good grade in Party. Wholesome.

My heart is like a haunted house (series) by halffulljampot

Charles (unknowingly) befriends the ghost of Edwin's mother and constantly gushes to her about his amazing best friend/boyfriend. Beatrice is a great OC and it's just nice (though extra tragic) to read a fic in which Edwin had loving parents. Read it for Family Feels and wholesome intergenerational friendship.

the first rule of fight club by e_va

The boys are captured by an evil underground fighting ring. The fic is from Charles' PoV, so the prospect of having to fight Edwin was especially stomach-churning. Still, we get Edwin being a badass and a brilliant surprise cameo I don't want to spoil.

The Case of The... by sophisticatedyet

Edwin borrows Niko's negligee and Charles' brain breaks. There's also a case and giant squids, but Charles' Distracted By The Sexy crisis is the main (hilarious) event.

in those heavy days when love became an act of defiance by aletterinthenameofsanity, JUBE514

Daemon AU and first meeting fic! Loved the worldbuilding, insightful character work and lovely use of Greek mythology. Honestly, this fandom needs more daemon AUs.

spinning around and around in an ocean of grief (your ladder came down to the sea) by Ingi

Prequel to DontOffendTheBees' excellent College AU, expanding on the boys being alive and in school together. Also has its own prequel about their first meeting from Edwin's point of view. This one, though, is a Charles' Bisexual Journey/Feelings Realization fic. So lovely.

head in the clouds but my gravity's centered by shadowquill17

Face Touching: The Fic. I just love non-sexual intimacy in fics and this one is so tender. I also love Accidental Kissing and Feelings Realization so my cup runneth over.

i don't want to rest in peace by handwrittenhello

Different First Meeting fic featuring Poltergeist Charles! Loved the concept, even though it made me sad.

the great snogging debacle of '95 by thatgayprince

Edwin disguises himself as a girl and Charles starts and then defers a sexuality crisis for 30 years. Funny, steamy and emotional.

a beautiful day to say goodbye by ofstitches

The agency take on the case of a depressed house. This is another bittersweet Edwin backstory fic with discussions of grief.

Smitten in the Stacks by cordelianoir

Adorable prequel to lolotr's equally adorable library AU. Meet cute featuring (platonically married) Dad!Charles crushing on the hot librarian who leads Children's Storytime.

Jenny Green: Butcher, Hot Mess, Reluctant Queer Elder by Money_Maker

Jenny-centric fic! The focus is on Jenny and her financial, mental and emotional struggles post-canon, but mentoring Edwin through his queer self-discovery becomes a big part of that. This turns into a really sweet friendship, plus Found Family Feels and some fun outsider PoV of the boys' dynamic.

I've always got more recs so watch this space! ❤️

[m-ilkiee]

Deadly Affairs: Bonten! Manjiro ‘Mikey’ Sano x Bonten Reader, Bonten members x Bonten! Reader

“My name is BRUTUS, and my name means HEAVY. So with a HEAVY heart I’ll bury this dagger in the back of my enemy.”

Pairings: Bonten! Manjiro Sano x Bonten reader, Bonten! Members x Bonten Reader

Series summary: You’ve seen this story multiple times, where the girl does everything to end up as the wife of the king. In any other timeline, you would have done the same.

This time is different. You don’t want to marry the king. You want to be him.

Series warning: DARK CONTENT, NSFW, HEAVY ANGST, fem!reader Bonten timeline, virginity loss, power imbalance, gang bang, smut, misogyny, graphic violence, torture, noncon, dubcon, drug/alcohol use, parental abuse, domestic abuse, trauma bonding, baby trapping, forced marriage, major character death(s), time loop, canon divergent.

main masterlist||taglist link

Chapter 1: Genesis

Synopsis: your destiny starts on your 23rd birthday, at the back of Manjiro Sano’s car, with the loss of your virginity

cw: DARK CONTENT, NSFW, DUBCON, bonten timeline, fem reader, power imbalance, age-gap relationship, sexual harrassment/abuse, sexism and misogyny, implied torture, flashing, alcohol/drug use, slight manipulation, drunk sex, public sex, fingering (f. recieving), virginity loss (reader), unprotected sex piv, rough sex, dirty talk, degradation, slut shaming.

wc: 4.5k

Chapter 2: The Aftermath

Synopsis: you deal with the shame of last night, when you realize all the executives know what you have done, unknowingly stirring up dark desires in their hearts.

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Chapter 3: Consequences

Synopsis: when a business deal goes awry, all hands point at you. As punishment kokonoi hajime decides to give you a glimpse of your worst fear.

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Chapter 4: Redemption

Synopsis: determined not to be permanently be assigned to a sex doll forever, you decide to take matters into your own hands and clear your name.

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Chapter 5: Glory

Synopsis: You’re finally an executive of Bonten, but the rest are not happy with Mikey’s decision, including Mikey himself.

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Chapter 6: Judas Iscariot

Synopsis: Annoyed that his initial plan never worked, Manjiro decides to bait you into a deal that would keep you with him. Permanently.

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Chapter 7: The Fall of Man

Synopsis: Everything you’ve worked for, shatters before your very eyes when the pregnancy test reads positive. Manjiro is surprisingly, happy.

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Chapter 8: The Evil within

Synopsis: All along you’ve fallen for Mikey’s traps, over and over again. This time, is different. This time, you want him dead.

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Chapter 9: Beware the Ides of March

Synopsis: Hanagaki Takemichi comes to save Manjiro Sano, but there you are, with a gun, ready to push both of them over the edge and attain true glory.

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Chapter 10: I want to be YOU

Synopsis: The power is in your hands now. And you will do as you please with it. Including changing your daughter’s destiny.

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authors note: i do not condone any action comitted in this fic. comments, asks and reblogs are highly appreciated. this fic was rejuvenated by the buttress' - "brutus" and for some reason my obssession to be masculine

taglist (please turn on your mentions in 'settings' before filling the form.): @officiallyjaehyuns @haikyuusboringassmanager @cockonoi @rindou24689 @short-cxke @kokoch4n3l @genawi @getonite @anxious-chick @reiners-milkbiddies @gh0stgirl333 @raven-nevra

[burningcheese-merchant]

BurningCheese/GoldenSpice Playlist

Ok, time to stop being a bitch and post the ship playlist I keep harping on about already.

Gonna mark each song with an emoji to signify if it's meant to either be Burning Spice's POV (🔺) or Golden Cheese's (🧀). It's also going to be band/singer name first, song name second, for ease of understanding

Thank you to everyone who's reached out to me, both on here and on AO3, with song suggestions! A good chunk of these came from me myself, but a lot of people introduced me to plenty more songs that I loved and agreed suited these two perfectly. It's been fun putting a playlist together with this help, it feels like a fun group project now lol. (Hell, you guys are actually helping me think of new writing material. Music is a huge source of inspiration and creativity for me, as I'm sure you've noticed. In a way, you're all indirectly making fic requests lol)

You're all still more than welcome to keep shooting me song ideas to add, the playlist is ever-expanding! I'll just come back to this post and edit any new additions in. (This playlist is 3x longer than my PitayaFire one. I need you all to understand how big of a deal that is for me personally. I never thought I'd be this down bad for a ship besides that one. It's fucking surreal)

Some of it is meant to sound one-sided, others like it's a mutual love/relationship. I'll let you guess which is which lol. Now rock out to Evil Spice Man x Pretty Cheese Lady with me 🤘🤘🤘

Mindless Self Indulgence - Shut Me Up🔺

Fall Out Boy - I Don't Care🔺(with the Wild Spice crew as the backup singers!!!)

Mariah Carey - Obsessed 🧀

Three Days Grace - I Hate Everything About You🔺🧀

Lady Gaga - Bad Romance🔺🧀

Dead or Alive - You Spin Me Round (Like a Record)🔺

Mindless Self Indulgence - What Do They Know?🔺

Britney Spears - Toxic 🧀

Fish in a Birdcage - Rule #34🔺(this is also a great PureShadow song ngl. It's how it was first introduced to me, even lol)

Shayfer James - Filthy Habit🔺

King Gnu - SPECIALZ🔺🧀 (look up the English version of the lyrics. Very BurningCheese-core imo)

Mindless Self Indulgence - This Hurts🔺

Jack Black - Peaches🔺(shout out to the anon in my inbox who suggested this. Joke's on them, I had this on the playlist right from the start lolololololol)

Arctic Monkeys - R U Mine?🔺

Lady Gaga - Poker Face 🧀

Olly Murs (feat. Flo Rida) - Troublemaker 🧀

Rihanna - Where Have You Been🔺(fun fact: I had this playing on a loop as I wrote "Our Little Dance" to get into the Yandere Spice mindset lol)

Lady Gaga - Judas 🧀

Miike Snow - Genghis Khan🔺

The Orion Experience - Obsessed With You🔺(this song is just really funny. You can probably apply it to all Beast x Ancient ships tbh)

Nine Inch Nails - Closer🔺

Mindless Self Indulgence - 5TR82HE11🔺

Air Traffic Controller - This Is Love🔺

Bad Omens - THE DEATH OF PEACE OF MIND🔺🧀

Isabel LaRosa - favorite 🧀

Bloodhound Gang - The Bad Touch🔺(listen I imagined Spice singing this to Golden and just started howling with laughter, it's fucking hysterical ok)

ENHYPEN - Bite Me🔺

Scissor Sisters - I Can't Decide🔺(GC would sing a few parts tho)

5 Seconds of Summer - Teeth🔺🧀 (mostly Spice though)

Buerak - Культ Тела 🔺(look up English lyrics, very Yandere Spice coded. Thank you to the anon who suggested it)

Tom Lehrer - The Masochism Tango🔺

Lady Gaga - Disease 🧀

G-Eazy (with Halsey) - Him & I🔺🧀

Britney Spears - ...Baby One More Time🔺(imagine Spice singing this while stuck in prison. Please. He's singing and the other Beasts want to off themselves because it's so annoying and he won't stop. Please it is so funny. I have so much fun imagining this freak acting stupid-)

[stargatebarbie]

i’ve had a vague thought for ages that rodney makes the perfect time loop victim bc he’s such an anxious person and also it would piss him off so much. i didn’t really have any specific idea of a fic to write around this for the longest time but i just had one and it’s evil

so it goes like this; rodney mistakenly activates some sort of ancient time loop device. he figures it all out basically right away (it wasn’t hard to link the weird repeated day to the weird device that just started glowing that morning) but there’s a problem. on the day of the loop, john dies. rodney could stop the loop with a thought at any time, but john would stay dead

instead of the ‘trying the figure out how to fix the loop’ plot, we get ‘trying to keep this asshole alive’ with bonus ‘keep the time loop device running at all costs’ and through this he just keeps watching the man he loves die over and over again

this gets Even More Evil but anything further would be spoilers so... i shan't say

[myfandomrealitea]

Minor rant, but I recently found your blog and think you may find this amusing (of course ignore as well if i misjudged! 💕)

I got into a baffling conversation with someone I share a server with, and it reminded me again that “antis” just… don’t think. Ever. And I knew that, but getting hit in the head with the reality always throws me for a loop no matter how many times it happens.

In my current fandom, I tend to only write character studies, longer plotty fics, slice of life, and that type of thing. It’s simply what currently has my attention. I do have content on my AO3 antis would drop dead at, but for a different fandom than is for the above server, so I don’t think this person (or others) realise that. Shows that they do know how AO3 filters work, as they’ve said they filter for this ship/fandom on my page, but that’s a different issue all together

Anyway, this person was *stunned* when I said I ship and let ship, and am 100% proship, full stop, no matter what. She seemed convinced that all proshippers write and like “evil (her words) content”. I of course mentioned that I’ve written all of AO3’s content warning, read it in fic, published books, and said content is 100% in the book I’ve been slowly writing, and that i support it. But I digress.

Where the conversation truly lost the plot was when she brought up that I don’t like certain themes, and am admittedly picky af with what I read??? And yes, I am. As are a lot of people. She could not comprehend this. She (and a few others who jumped in) seemed to think that, aside from proship meaning problematic ship, it also means someone who is proship has nothing they don’t like. I just. Okay. Maybe I’ve curated my fandom and online presence too well, but I’ve thankfully avoided this line of thinking before. I’d say I hope it’s not common, but I feel like it probably is 🙃

I have so many boundaries and things i hate. I am, at my core, a hater. My dms with small friend groups are full of me hating on tropes, ships, etc, I hate. But I could not give a flying fuck if others like them, and wow she could NOT get this. I have writers on AO3 I’ve blocked because I don’t like how they write certain things, or just don’t like how often they appear in the tag. I have no issue with them as people, I just know how to curate my fandom experience.

One of the people who was contributing to the conversation reached out afterwards in DMs and seems to (hopefully) be rethinking things, and realising that they’re very much proship. Picky with what they like, but proship. Small and unexpected victories!

Every day I grow more concerned for society as a whole.

The 'proship means problematic thinking' thing I can vaguely understand because its been an anti-propaganda tagline for so long, and they're very effective at being loud enough to be convincing.

But the rest?

Lordy.

[worstloki]

Time loop fic but it’s just Thor stuck confronting Loki during Avengers 1 except Loki is actually evil this time and wants Thor dead so Thor just. keeps dying. He tries not to hurt Loki the first few loops but keeps getting killed and starts taking it personally so he steps up his game to actually try to win/kill Loki back but he still keeps losing.

[basedbogwizard]

gudao/angra mainyu posting again because i am once again sick in the head about them. this time im just going to drop some random headcanons i have about them. slight nsft warning as well. oh and ordeal call 2 spoilers.

- it starts off with gudao crushing more on angra mainyu. angra isn’t not receptive to it, he just doesn’t take it too seriously, doesn’t really believe it.

- angra definitely teases gudao nonstop about it too. once it’s reversed on him though, he loses some of his composure though…he’s not used to this overwhelming kindness, attention, and affection. it feeds this unknowable hunger for more inside of him.

-meanwhile, gudao is just throwing himself at angra in the most blatant displays he can manage. grailing him, snagging sweets for him from the cafeteria, gifting him weird items he’d think would give him a laugh: just small tokens of his affection.

- i think gudao would wear the red bandana angra mainyu gives you for Valentine’s Day somewhere in his person, like around his upper arm. it breaks angra’s brain and he can’t think straight when he sees gudao wear what was supposed to be the lamest valentines ever like a badge of honor.

- i heard a head canon/idea lately that all of the avengers care deeply for ritsuka in their own way, hence their fierce loyalty, almost to the point of yandere behaviors :>. i think angra would hide it in his own way since he is all the world’s evils, and if he were to truly have gudao all to himself, well…that wouldn’t be too good for humanity. can’t kill humans without any humans around :p

- they are definitely freak4freak. I don’t think it’d be toxic yaoi (ok maybe a little if you wanna get weirder with it).

- I know that angra mainyu technically doesn’t leave chaldea at the end of OC2 since he’s just always been there, but thru the fgo story. but like…what if gudao wanted to make him stay, since he’s starting to disappear slowly?

- he asks angra to make a time loop so he can figure out how to keep him around. and angra mainyu just…lets him try, for a while. because of course he wants to stay, but he knows that the dead must always go back and leave those in the living world to live. if Gudao can carry on, then…

- of course gudao won’t let angra mainyu leave. he knows that this has happened to him before: saying goodbye to his one chance at happiness, to see off his loved ones live again…second chances don’t come often. Gudao wants angra mainyu, the one he loves, to be happy.

- which is why gudao says: “possess my body, and live in my skin until we solve the bleached earth phenomenon”.

- he says no, outright. Gudao says they’ve done this before, he can handle his curses, the corruption. (based on a diff fic I wrote dw bout it) it’s rotten work. not if it’s you.

- plus, absorbing all 6 billion of those curses…angra worries it would kill gudao. he left that out of the equation last time. Gudao doesn’t care, can’t imagine a life without him in it. he’s already seen hell seven times over, survived the garden of lost will by the skin of his teeth. what’s another gauntlet of horrors for him?

- angra keeps denying him, as tantalizing as the idea is…because of course, it would be a dream come true. possessing gudao, living in his skin, seeping into the marrow of his bones…owning him, and being owned by him in mind, body and soul…nothing would be closer to heaven for him.

- so he agrees, and falls into a short coma once angra releases the deluge of curses. he wakes up a week later with some…changes.

- angra is gone, but present in his thoughts, his feelings, his physical ticks. he can feel him looking behind is eyes, feel his thoughts brushing against his own. it’s strange and enrapturing. they can still have “fun” together in their dreams.

- I think gudao’s skin would turn chalky pale, and have some remnants of angra’s tattoos marked on him. angra’s eye colors would also surface occasionally. Gudao opts to hide these changes most of the time, but he can’t hide all of the tattoos (not that he’d want to).

- angra can also take control of his body when gudao is willing, which can lead to some fun activities :3

- ok im tired gn bye

[icyfox17]

WIP folder game

Rules: Make a new post with the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! And then tag as many people as you have WIP

Tagged by @divine-victory

The fact that this isn't even all of my wips... Cause most of my wips are in my notes app and those dont have titles 😭😭 im ngl i forgot about half of these whoops

1. Effluvium 5+1

2. psych 911 notes bc wtf why cant i find my og ones

3. mmmmm mind control

4. empath comaduo

5. phoenix buck ch1

6. comaduo breakfast post nightmare slay

7. when winter vanishes

8. mmm hostage fic mmmm

9. Untitled document

10. elementary 911 yipepepe

11. time loop buck... reunion themed this time :))

12. evil call uh oh

13. pest fic

14. 5+1 buck learning new sports/things

15. buck got Got (ouchie head :()

16. xmas bucktommy fic YAYYAYAY

17. Whumptober day 21 alt prompt: time loop

18. psych 911 CMON SON !!

19. Wlb ch 4 babeyyy

20. solace ch 5 yippee!!!

21. buck and bobby music fic

22. bobby sad!! sad bobby !! bucks dead!! ace this ones for U <3

23. timeloop comaduo

24. buck and bobby hike woowowooo

25. ermmm 911 happy fathers day ?!?!

26. mmmm uno reverse plus four halcyon

27. buddie,,, oops eddie got hurt who did that

28. 5+1 feaaaaaaaaarss yasss

29. takes several breaths. we done fucked up (bh crimeboys)

30. Ermmm I'm hella sleepy rn

31. wally whump wally whump wally wally whump wally

OKAY TAG TIME

No pressure:)

@jtownraindancer @jiksvokrat @dragonpyre @soupedsprout @cristalmystery @sammiekel @kiththecat @ghosts-and-blue-sweaters @sunflowervc @owlf45 @savethepinecones @the-amber-raven @lostlavenderer @arionth @sleepdeprivedofmycorn @cannimochi @faenemy @moonslamp @clusterbungle @bandanabiel @they-reap-what-we-sow @tumbler-dot-com-user @donationwayne @long-lost-soul

[r1ch1exl1psch1tz]

“ I’m not a loser! “

I’m Richie Lipschitz ((: Steph and Peter convinced me to get this app so I’m trying it out ^v^. Anyone’s able to interact but don’t be a dick /: Max Jägerman please interact, P,EASE ANYONE INTERACT 😭. I’m Bisexual, Trans, and Poly and my pronouns are he/they (he/him preferred)

A disciple of @wigglyywrath …

[ Death Count: 0 ]

[ Kill Count: 0 (?) ]

(Ooc: My names Jamie/James, I decided to make a Richie to account after seeing a good chunk of other rp accounts. My main blog is @jambo-rat )

Welcome in ((:

> I go by he/they/it

> I’m Transmasc and Bisexual

! INTERESTS !

> Role-play

> Cosplay

> Starkid (I am new to it though)

> hero’s (DC and Marvel)

> death (cringe ik but I wanna become a forensic pathologist)

> horror >:))

> b99, X-Men, the Batfam, Teen Titans, Time loops (groundhog days), Supernatural, jjba

> Roblox, Resident Evil, Minecraft, fnaf, dead space, most things horror

! DNI !

> basic DNI list, you will be blocked if I find out you’re just an asshole, idc if we’re mutuals or interact a lot, you will be blocked.

! AU’S !

I’m down to roleplay any AU ! I would ask if it’s a sort of “obscure” one to DM me with info, or if you send a starter with one I don’t know much about I’ll message asking for more info ((: (if you put your user)

> Alive Rich

> Ghost Rich

! MY SHIPS !

(Really I’m okay with roleplaying any, as long as it’s not weird)

Peter x Steph

Max x Grace

Richie x Max

Peter x Richie

Jason x Richie

! SOCIAL MEDIAS !

TikTok: tired_squish

Insta: tired_squish_

Disc (dm asking to add first): dinjormbo_enjoyer

Main acc: @jambo-rat (send any fan fic requests there ((; )

! SIGN OFF !

> normal sign off will be [example] or [example]

> question/ ask sign offs is -🌀🪦

! ANONS !

I do allow emoji anons, just ask ((:

“ please don’t kill me… “

[sidgeno-ficrecs]

this delicate place by @ljummen

sidgeno (2019, explicit, 32.8k) **content notes: mental illness, anxiety attacks, depression, trauma and its aftermath

“Are you?” Taylor asks unexpectedly. “Am I what?” Looking up from the stove, Sid finds her watching him with an odd look on her face. “Happy.” It should be an easy question to answer. Sid has escaped back to Canada after a career ending injury. It doesn’t dawn on him exactly how much early retirement has affected him, until Taylor introduces him to a YouTube channel where a firefighter talks about his own struggles with his mental health.

Hey Geno,

I just watched this video and realized that I’ve had several panic attacks over the course of a few months. I had one a few hours ago. I haven’t experienced anything traumatic, but anxiety (I assume, based on your description in this video) has been sneaking up on me. A week ago, I bought two plants, like you suggested in another video. Today’s panic attack was triggered by me noticing that they were dead (the plants, I mean).

I feel stupid for reacting to something so trivial. I haven’t watched that many of your videos, but from what I understood, you actually experienced something bad. So why am I broken for no reason?

this is a hard time of year.

it's dark, it's cold (if you're in the northern hemisphere), and for me at least, it always seems like the post-holiday winter stretch is when bad things happen. it's easy to get lost in your own head and spend hours dwelling on what's gone wrong, or what might go wrong, and get stuck in a negative feedback loop that can be so, so hard to break out of.

i've mentioned before that i don't love fics that diagnose sid (or geno, but it's usually sid) with certain neurodivergencies because in my experience it leads to people talking about him like he actually has x or y and it makes me uncomfortable, but i re-read this fic last night because i've been feeling down recently and i think it deserves a moment in the spotlight.

this story is a very raw, honest look at what it can be like to deal with depression and anxiety, from the perspective of someone who never has before and doesn't know what's going on and needs an extra push to see what's happening and get help.

depression is a lonely, isolating experience, and that's part of what makes it so dangerous. it's so easy to not notice that you're withdrawing and losing yourself until it's almost too much to climb out of, and on top of all that you've lost all motivation to take steps to get better. it's a vicious, evil little trick the brain can play on you, and @ljummen walks us through sidney's experience with it with care, honesty, and compassion.

this fic made me feel seen. it can be hard to read—sid has panic attacks and we as readers experience them right along with him, along with the other symptoms of depression—but if you're in a space where reading about it won't make you feel worse or trigger anything, i really recommend it. we see sid struggle, we see him be in denial of what he's dealing with—what does he have to be depressed over, after all? what trauma does he have to deal with?—and, crucially, we see him turn a corner and start to get better.

i think that's the magic of this story. sid manages to step outside of the black pit he's stuck in long enough to take steps to get help, and he meets someone who knows him and understands what he's going through, and they fall in love despite the obstacles in their way. it's a story about someone whose life isn't going the way they thought it would, but who manages to see that's not necessarily the end of the world, and for me at least reading this story gave me comfort and hope.

yes, it can be dark at times. life can be hard, so hard that it seems easier to just go back to bed and try and wait it out. but you also might meet someone who sees you, and knows you, and is there for you, and who you can see and know and support in return. there's light out there, if you can peek outside the curtain to look for it.

i hope you're all taking care of yourselves. be gentle with your own mind if you've been having a difficult time. reach out to the people who love you—they want to be there for you, even if you're hearing that little voice that says you're just a burden.

and if you're up to it, read this story, which will hopefully provide you a little comfort and escape and hope, like it does for me when i'm having bad days.

read it here on ao3!

and don't forget to leave a comment!

[chaoticdelinqueerwithglitter]

I'll love you better when I'm dead

(chapter 206 from Sanzu's POV)

(tragic MuSan drabble)

(link to ao3 in case some one preferes to read it there)

First of all...I'm sorry for this (not really but yes a lot at the same time, but I did this to myself too). An evil snail shared with me this AMAZING AND BRUTAL essay on Sanzu & katana-chan and reading the last pages about Mucho, this fic happened. So first of all...

GO, READ THE ESSAY NOW!

Summary: "We are both dying here today, captain."

[or why Sanzu looses his grip]

Warnings: Manga Spoilers. Major Character Death (chapter 206, duh). Hurt/No Comfort. Like for real, comfort has been slashed with a katana and is sinking in the bottom of the ocean.

The title is from "Love you better" because I listened in a loop for two days while reading the essay and writing this.

Oh, I played with Sanzu name (again, yes) but this time doing a full Jinx, ooopsie!

(English is not my first language, so be nice please 🙈)

It’s been six months since the Kanto Incident. Six months of planning for this day, of imagining how he’s going to punish that damn traitor. Of pretending his whole body doesn’t ache at the idea of killing the only person that made him feel like he mattered.

Haruchiyo is good at that, at hiding his true feelings from the world, lying to himself as much as he needs as a way of achieving it. He’s good at rationalize the overwhelming whirlwind of emotions that threaten to flood his mind all the time. He’s used to repress the pain, keep his anxiety at bay, bury all of it next to the memories he can’t face without having the need to scream and break everything at his reach (including himself).

Six months that seem to crumble the second his captain’s eyes light up when he spots him outside the detention center.

The ride is dominated by silence, that only breaks with Muto’s simple questions about how he’s been doing during this time. Genuine concern plastered on the face he’s supposed to hate. Haruchiyo wants to laugh hysterically at this, the irony that even now the older boy is only worried about him. Instead, he just gives short answers, knowing the other won’t push his boundaries.

They are finally at the wharf and his resolve flatters for a moment, overwhelmed by a kindness that he forgot how warm it feels.

“I’ve been waiting for this day...”

Haruchiyo trails off, talking mostly to himself. His hands grip the hilt of the katana, steading his inner turmoil with the reminder of why he’s doing this. The tangible proof of his vow, of the promise that gives him purpose. Wielding it with years of practice, preparing himself to strike a fatal blow.

‘Is that it? Is that the only reason I’m doing this?’

He hesitates, consciously loosening his grip on one hand and landing a sloppy cut that buys him some precious seconds.

“You damned betrayer!”

‘Liar, you made me think I could trust you, made me feel safe, seen. How can you say you love me when you couldn’t tell your treason would rot everything we shared?’

“Sanzu...?”

Muto looks at him in shock, trying to stop the bleeding with his hand and falling on his knees. He’s the perfect image of bewilderment, like he can’t comprehend what is happening, why is happening.

“I’ve been fooling you all along.”

‘I’ve been fooling myself, pretending this never meant anything to me. Pretending you never meant anything to me.’

Haruchiyo keeps talking, winning some time in order to collect his thoughts, to understand his own feelings in order to let them go and fully put his heart on the second hit.

“Remember our conversation that day when we were playing shogi? I said it, right?”

‘Do you remember how you told me I also mattered? You made me yearn for more, you were the first person that taught me to be selfish, to listen to my own needs.’

It’s almost ironic, realizing killing Muto is a sick way of putting himself first. Realizing this is personal.

“Protecting the king is the priority. You betrayed Mikey, didn’t you?”

‘You betrayed me, didn’t you?’

He takes off his mask, the scars reminding him of his place, letting go the faint illusion it could ever be somewhere else. That it could be next to his captain. He can’t forget it again, can’t keep hiding his devotion behind his craving for affection.

A sadistic grin on his face. That’s the new mask he’s going to show to a world that will never be the same for him.

“Now it’s checkmate.”

This time the cut is fatal, slashing a lot more than flesh and bones and severing the ties between them.

‘We are both dying here today, captain.’

Somehow, Muto hears the words he never says. But his will be the only tears shed, no one else will mourn the Haruchiyo that knew genuine love.

Sanzu can’t allow himself to grieve. He can’t be weak again, these seconds that felt like ages will be the last entertaining the idea he could be more than a loyal knight to his beloved king.

He made a promise and Sanzu is willing to do anything in order to fulfill it. Even killing a part of himself forever. His weakness, the love that tempted him to break free of his sacred vow. In a twisted way, he can’t avoid thinking how fitting it feels burying it with his captain.

Haruchiyo is dead.

Only Sanzu prevails.

[waywardrpf]

fall bingo fic list - standrew edition

card 003

if evil had a laugh - punk_rock_yuppie | 4k, T, Standrew tags: supervillian au, supervillian!andrew, get together fic, secret identies, fluff, humor

Andrew is the local super villain, Hot Honey. Steven is a not-so-unwitting civilian. This is their story.

Through the Wilderness - aspookycryptidsock | 16k, E, Standrew tags: first time, loss of virginity, magic, unicorns, food puns, softness

"Steven, that was a horse, it was not a unicorn because unicorns don't exist. Can we please focus on the much larger problem at hand here? We are lost in the Irish countryside with no food, dead phones, and the only person we've seen for hours was a creepy lady in a cart. A cart, Steven. Don't focus on what the crazy cart lady told you, focus on the fact that if we're lost for much longer it won't matter if it was a unicorn or not because I'm gonna find it and I'm gonna eat the fucking horse!" "Whoa," Steven says. "That is the most I've ever heard you modulate your voice, you're really freaked out, huh?"

No Place I'd Rather Be - orphan_account | 34k, M, Standrew tags: time loop, slow burn

Being with Steven is like being home.

A Little Lovin' - Riyusama | 2k, T, Stadamdrew tags: fluff

Andrew and Steven try to spoil Adam with love and affection, after a rough day from shooting.

that in springtime will grow - courante | 4k, T, Standrew tags: alternate universe - urban fantasy, chinese mythology and folklore, vampires, necromancy, undead character, mutual pining

Steven isn't exactly the kind to go around picking strays off the street. This time is different, however.

If you read any of these, don't forget to leave kudos and comments! <3

[nomsfaultau]

ok important question

which one of your technos could i probably fight

I’m assuming you want to come out the other side swinging, because truly you could fight most of them and die rather nastily. I’m also going to let the tone of the piece be an influencing factor. Let’s a go:

Fault: You are now a little red smear. The fight is over so fast The Blade doesn’t even register The Blood God took over. For the corollary ‘Where then do your loyalties lie?’ The Blade where he’s like ~14 years old: same but The Blood God has a voice crack while trying to deliver a threatening quip, feels rather embarrassed, and makes your death extra painful. Golden Apples, Gilded Atrophy: The Techno least likely to feel even a hint of remorse. This guy is craaazy he’s waiting for an excuse to murder you, ohh he wants to murder you soo bad- Lord, what fools these mortals be!: He is so ready to throw down, but he’s also like really friendly the whole time? He’s utterly vicious but is funny about it. You’re probably dying to some looney tunes esque nonsense UNLESS you can make your victory funny enough that the absurdist nature of the fic finds a contrived series of wacky events that contribute to your unlikely W. Mandatory Family Reunion: Probably has one of your better chances of fighting, since he’s human and has zero powers. Except the power of knives, which he will possess inordinate amounts of. Likely to lash out really harshly in pure ptsd mode, catch himself halfway through attacking you and have an entire monologue crisis about how he’s inherently violent and corrupted by his various parental figures, there’s no possible redemption if violence has been beaten into his instincts, etc etc angst angst angst. Perfect time to clock him right in the face. This is one Techno guaranteed not to kill you, though he shows serious ingenuity when fighting. However, the MFR universe is stacked against him so you’ll probably win simply for the fact that it would create more Techno angst. The Lambs Wolves Wear: Well Technoblade is debatably a dead corpse being possessed? And is maybe 14? So I feel like you could EASILY take on a skeletal child. However if we’re talking “Technoblade” you’re screwed. One scratch on their vessel and undead legions will be summoned to drag you to hell. Might hesitate since Philza will chastise them later, but will still rip you apart with ghosts. Lighting Lanterns to Bring You Home: Well, he’s a god. So. Good luck buddy ? At the start of the fic he’ll just smite you no questions ask. By the end he might just ignore you while you fruitlessly punch his belly. I suppose if you timed it right before Lady Death killed him for the winter you could technically claim the win, but he’d just be sleeping through your attack before succumbing to the allegory of the seasons, so, wouldn’t feel very satisfying. The Altars We Sacrifice Our Futures On: See above on trying to fight god! But also literally an evil violence deity. So enjoy getting ripped apart by wolves or terrible blood magic. At least, until Techno learns that apparently you’re allowed to kill ABSOLUTELY NO ONE in front of a six year old or they cry. Loudly. There’s snot. At which point he will fume and snarl and seethe and not actually kill you. But he will be EXTREMELY grumpy about it. Absolutely zero chance of winning though he’ll just trap all the blood in your body in a loop that won’t let you die but also won’t let you move. Where do babies come from? You obliterate him. No questions ask. Bro he’s twelve not even a question. All his pent up street kid rage will mean he’s vicious, but like he’s ye high, you’re good. He will bite, but you’ll bite back. Now there is the angle that he literally will never stop trying to defeat you, refusing to give up long past the point a reasonable person would and getting really hurt in the process. But like that’s an unarmed child. Your victory is assured. Philza Minecraft WILL find your location and have a “talk” with you tho. And you are not winning that “conversation”.

[isat-script-project]

(for the record, i'm sploon-fic-fan i'm just more comfortable sending on anon) can you list some events that end in time rewinding? also note if they can happen on the previously-mentioned-in-other-asks theoretical susroute+friendquest loop? i need it for a fic idea i was thinking about. also do you know any notable dead end rooms?

I don't have a list myself, but isatwiki does! More complete than anything I could put together, I think. There's also one talk from Loop at the tail end of ACT 4 that delves into it.

things that could happen on a sus + friendquest loop.... gotta admit i'm drawing from my own personal design of siffrin's worst loop ever because i kicked off my 100% playthrough act4 with a motherfucker

SOO. IN A SUS RUN + FRIENDQUESTS LOOP....

you can do memory of sadness / tutorial, ghost event... i think that's it?

cant do bad touch because that means you can't do isaquest, can't do bonnie's sidequest cuz friendquests, cant do loop hangout cuz sus run needs loopquest progress, yeah, so, just those two!

if you want to pile other mean shit into one loop, though, you still got options! You can do the change god event in the same loop, you can get the dagger and argue with loop and still do isaquest after (you could even show them the coin beforehand so they and siffrin argue EVEN MORE in one single loop!)

This could also be the first time in act4 that you do the friendquests, so you get a front row seat to siffrin's mental breakdowns, you could make this the first time you beat the king in act4, and i'm just gonna assume that You Are Loved is the situation for the ending here?

Notable dead end rooms i of course have to shout out first and foremost my friend the floor 3 writing room with my dearest belovedest Orange Poem. the other heavy hitter is the floor 3 observatory which has all the nice star and island shit in it, and the dead end room on floor 2 was uhh. the infirmary. the infirmary has grape juice in it? and the earring you can equip on isabeau. and the hallway in front of it (but behind the tears) has a dog that everyone can pet!

there's only 3 dead end rooms though so that's actually all of them. i'm biased my favorite is the writing room because it's a 100% prologue callback. also you start the memory of promise sidequest there if you want siffrin to have flashbacks to that!

Always happy to help fanfic writers be evil 👍

[spiritsglade]

🫘🦷 for the ask game!!

hiii birdie. i found a way to talk about among us again.

🫘 Spill the beans. What's a new project you're doing this year?

Among us OC time loop fic from the perspective of a crewmate (leaning towards Bane because they're a paranoid little freak) who needs to solve the mystery of who the impostors are but over time realizes that it changes each round. It becomes about interrogating their own flaws and biases in the process and then when they finally figure it out early and win the loop resets and they're evil this time and overall. Self indulgent slop I'm gonna have so much fun with it.

+ more fleshing out of their characters in general!! I have so many thoughts about these little guys in my brain but I haven't actually written much for them. Look at them. You love them.

🦷 Is there a chapter, scene, or WIP you're dreading to write (but is necessary to your plot)? Share a snippet or tell us about it!

i hate hate hate hate something shaped like brotherhood (the UtH / Nightwing comics vaguely-compliant Dick & Jason bonding fic) I want to kill it so badly. Not in the giving up way just in the stabbing it until it suffers and bleeds and explodes kind of way. Every couple of weeks I try to actively write it and I hate it and I have so many pages upon pages of disconnected scraps that I am every day growing closer to printing out just so I can put them through a paper shredder and burn them in my backyard. I like the concept the execution is being fucking rude.

Here's a snippet that has a solid 100% chance of never seeing the light of day otherwise. (I reworked this scene in my head. I haven't actually written the change but shhh.)

The man scuffed a boot on the rooftop, then abruptly said, "It's probably a bad time for me to break into the GCPD's databases, huh?" Dick tensed again, despite himself. He kept his voice level as he said, "What for?" "Nothing serious. It's pretty stupid actually, there's someone whose name I've been trying to remember. I know he has a criminal record, so he'll be on their servers somewhere. It's a place to start." "Hacking the police database is a place to start?" The domino mask studied Dick blankly. "Well. He's dead. It's not like I have a lot of options or people I can just ask." "That's a lot of trouble for a dead guy." The man's laugh was harsh and sudden, but something about it makes Dick's brain itch. "Oh, 'Wing, you won't believe how much I'm willing to do for the sake of a dead kid." Dick frowned. The way the man was talking, that casual familiarity and the ease of his posture… "Do I know you?" "No." The answer came without hesitation. "But you know me," Dick hedged. That got him a head tilt and a considering hum. "No, I don't think I do."