#everything's just a little off and it's driving me bonkers but i don't have the krita file anymore so such is life.

[rosamariaa]

my top 5 favorite book wolfstar moments

this is all for funsies. I'm going to be very honest here: I don't really think wolfstar is implied in the books, but I feel like if I put my shipper googles I CAN prove that those two were, at least, a bit weird about each other!

1. Remus "ideals" going askrew for Sirius:

We have two moments in the books where we see Remus being pretty ruthless when it came to the war, he thinks that if there's a way to put a enemy down then you should do it:

prisioner of azkaban, chapter eighteen:

"You should have realized," said Lupin quietly, "if Voldemort didn't kill you, we would. Good-bye, Peter."

deathly hollows, chapter 5:

Lupin looked aghast. “Harry, the time for Disarming is past! These people are trying to capture and kill you! At least Stun if you aren’t prepared to kill!”

However, when he was talking to Harry about Sirius reciving the dementor's kiss this is what Mr. Lupin has to offer:

prisioner of azkaban, chapter twelve:

[...] Lupin drank a little more butterbeer, then said, "It's the fate that awaits Sirius Black. It was in the Daily Prophet this morning. The Ministry have given the dementors permission to perform it if they find him." [...] "He deserves it," [harry] said suddenly. "You think so?" said Lupin lightly. "Do you really think anyone deserves that?"

This makes me actually go bonkers like... When he found out it was Peter all along he was full on ready to kill him but when he belived it was Sirius doing the same damn thing then suddenly no one deserves it... christ we see you remus lupin, we see you...

2. Moving in thogeter

I don't even have anything to say for this one just.. *gestures vaguely*

Order of the phoenix, chapter 6:

[...] and Lupin, who was staying in the house with Sirius but who left it for long periods to do mysterious work for the Order [...]

It's so funny cos like... he didn't need to do that... no one else is staying there even though it's the order's HQ.

And we know that as poor as Remus is he does have a house (Sirius stays there for a bit at the end of GOF) so he just... moves in... just because. yea.

a little extra scene that it's kinda funny, imagine finding out your teacher and godfather are dating by calling said godfather and said teacher picks up... lol :

Harry opened his eyes to find that he was looking up out of the kitchen fireplace at the long, wooden table, where a man sat poring over a piece of parchment. “Sirius?” The man jumped and looked around. It was not Sirius, but Lupin. “Harry!” he said, looking thoroughly shocked. “What are you — what’s happened, is everything all right?”

3. Remus is Sirius' good boy

Okay I will try not to ramble about this one but... I can't help it. He quite literally calls Remus a good boy you can not make this shit up.

Order of the phoenix, chapter 9:

Sirius, who was right beside Harry, let out his usual barklike laugh. “No one would have made me a prefect, I spent too much time in detention with James. Lupin was the good boy, he got the badge.”

I think what drives me insane about this one is that even though Remus had the same sense of humor as the other boys (although his was quieter and dry), they were a bit different. Sirius himself says that Remus would make them feel ashamed of themselves sometimes and, of course it depends on how you view Sirius, but to me I feel like he is a person that doesn't really put up with things just to please someone and so I feel like if it were a random person he would just go like "Well if you don't like what we do fuck off I guess" but since it was Remus he doesn't get annoyed at all and it makes it seem like he has a soft spot for Remus:

Order of the phoenix, chapter 29:

“Of course he was a bit of an idiot!” said Sirius bracingly. “We were all idiots! Well — not Moony so much,” he said fairly, looking at Lupin, but Lupin shook his head.

likeee that's his boy!!

4. Giving harry a joint present

You see, this one is very funny to me bc I was watching Sex and the city a few weeks ago and there's a scene where Carrie takes Mr. Big as her plus one to a wedding and of course she asks him to put his name on the present and he just. refuses. He has several commitment issues and even tho they were together for months at that point he thought a joint present "was too much".

And naturally my first thought was "oh wow that's so crazy bc in the children's book series 'Harry Potter', harry's godfather and teacher gave him a joint present without second thought". After moving in together. yea.

Order of the phoenix, chapter 23:

Sirius and Lupin had given Harry a set of excellent books entitled Practical Defensive Magic and Its Use Against the Dark Arts, [...]

how does that makes you feel mr.big

5. Intimacy

Last but not least (literally I think this is my favorite?) three moments that I think it shows us just how close those two are. Not even romantically, but in friendship too.

Order of the Phoenix, chapter 14:

[...] said Sirius with a wry smile. “I know she’s a nasty piece of work, though — you should hear Remus talk about her.”

We know Remus is a Nice Guy. He does everything he can to maintain at least a civil relationship with the people around him (save moments of distrees and his little cynical comments in poa, of course). And so the fact that he has a little "can I be mean?" moment with Sirius is just so funny... I just know Sirius supports all Remus' moments of haterism <3

Order of the phoenix, chapter 5:

“Molly, you’re not the only person at this table who cares about Harry,” said Lupin sharply. “Sirius, sit down.” Mrs. Weasley’s lower lip was trembling. Sirius sank slowly back into his chair, his face white

Order of the phoenix, chapter 29:

“I’m coming up there to have a word with Snape!” said Sirius force-fully and he actually made to stand up, but Lupin wrenched him backdown again.

I know people always talks about those 2 moments with the sense of like... oh wow remus asks and Sirius obeys thats hot and I AGREE it's the same thing I said before: If it was anyone else I think he would go "fuck off no" but since it's Remus he just do it unquestioned.

but ALSO. I feel like it does show how close they are... Close enough to push someone backwards etc those two lived together for more than a decade... they are Close and are used to each other and I think that's beautiful :')

[alecscudder1987]

ive just had a thought. see ive been joking as much as the next person about the ineffable beurocracy getting their shit together after 3 dates while it took aziraphale and crowley since literally before time was invented BUT it's quite literally just privilege.

you saw the shot where aziraphale grabs crowley's shoulder just after beelzebub and gabriel declare their love--this level of visibility is unprecedented, and something he and crowley have never been able to afford. while they (and we) might have softened to not-gabriel throughout the season, the second gabriel is gabriel again, he uses his position and leaddrship weight as archangel to fuck right off with his beloved. which, good for him.

but to aziraphale and crowley, this is fucking bonkers information. they spent their entire existences compromising on their relationship in order to not...be compromised. and gabriel just up and speed-runs dating the enemy because the worst consequence he faces is getting fired. gabriel and beelzebub never face consequences for their relationship, so of course it goes off without a hitch. no one looking over your shoulder because you're the guy looking over everyone's shoulder.

while im thankful they fucked off to alpha centuri so i don't ever have to see gabriel's smug face again, i do wonder if the "going off together" is really the good relationship A & C ought to model. if it's a happy foil to miserable wee morag and her girlfriend from the minisodes, it's still not what i believe crowley and aziraphale are going to do.

they've spent all of time becoming increasingly codependent, and while that's fun and all for a while, crowley and aziraphale really need their little human mundanities. going on walks. getting dinner. going for a drive to blow off steam. their path is getting distinctly more human-looking, and i think someday they're going to have to reckon with the idea of letting other people into their lives.

to bring it back to my first point, i've just been thinking about WHY crowley and aziraphale are Like That, when we've been presented with a new couple who most certainly isn't, and it made me think about it in terms of power. they have leverage, but they built it for themselves by learning everything about earth their superiors didn't know, getting a leg up anywhere they can. gabriel and beezlebub don't need a leg up. they have it. they're stepping on your chest and brushing dust from their costs as you try to climb past the first stone.

you could also look at it like queer versus straight relationships. queer relationships are often by circumstance somewhat secretive and full of codes and longing glances and not-talking-about-your-feelings BECAUSE it might get you into trouble. straight relationships often don't have this problem (though they might have others relating to other intersecting & marginalized identities) so they can get straight away into the declaring it part.

TL;DR beezlebub and gabriel got hitched immidiately while it took crowley and aziraphale all of time to kiss because the ineffable beaurocracy has about a million times more power and a billion times less consequences for getting caught about it than the ineffable husbands do.

[qqueenofhades]

Your tags on the Dreamling/Good Omens cross over have me frothing at the mouth and I just need you to know that if you were to write that “Crowley stumbles into the New Inn” fic, I would be highly supportive of your life choices

The place isn't otherwise busy. It's edging into the lull period of late afternoon, when the day drinkers have shuffled out and the evening drinkers aren't quite off work, when there are only a few tourists taking snaps for the 'gram and the bartenders are out back for a cigarette break by the bins. Hob is sitting at his usual table, confronted with a pile of papers, a brewing catastrophe about the autumn schedule that for some reason he is expected to sort out, three passive-aggressive emails from Philippa about the prospect of him becoming Head of School next year (not on your fucking immortal life, mate) and other mundane academic crises, when the door flies open and a bloke at the end of his rope staggers in.

Thing is, Hob knows this particular bloke, at least by casual sight. He's been in from time to time, has a drink, stares at the wall, looks moody, and goes out again, either to a vintage Bentley filled with houseplants or just the streets of Poplar. Hob has made friendly conversation with him a time or two, knows that his name is Anthony Crowley and he lives in Soho, and he has a husband/boyfriend/life partner of some description who often drives him bonkers (join the club? Though the Stranger isn't even really that). But from the look on Anthony Crowley's face, as much as can be discerned from beneath his ever-present black sunglasses (not really a fashion item one otherwise needs in London), this is a five-alarm fire, and Hob gets up in some concern. "Hey. Mate. Everything -- ?"

Crowley stumbles past him without answering, which is probably only what Hob deserves. He reaches the bar, and since the bartenders are still on fag break and nobody else seems around to do it, Hob scuttles around the back. "Get you something?"

"Beer. Whiskey. Drink. I don't care." Anthony digs in his wallet and flings the first assortment of bills he can find at Hob, which is far more than it costs for a drink even in this terminally overpriced city. "Make it strong. Want to forget my own fucking name."

"Right. Got it." Hob only worked the bar when the New Inn was first opened and they were still hiring staff, but he hasn't forgotten. He selects a Scottish whiskey, neat, and pours it into the bottom of a tumbler, sliding it across the bar. Anthony throws it back without even seeming to breathe and shoves the glass in search of another, and Hob frowns. "Oy. Take it easy."

Crowley mutters something about that being the last thing he intends to do, thanks, and Hob's curiosity, the one thing that has often propelled him through the centuries, gets the better of him. "Not my place," he says cautiously. "But is everything, y'know? All right at home? Your, uh, partner, is he -- "

The effect of this utterance is not dissimilar to waving a red flag in front of a bull. Crowley rears back, looks for a moment like he's going to bolt, and is only prevented by Hob strategically shoving the refilled whisky glass into his hand. He tosses it down the hatch without turning a hair, wipes his mouth raggedly with the back of his hand, and with that, and no further prompting, launches into an absolutely nutty jeremiad. Something about Heaven and Hell, something about Aziraphale (that's his partner's name, yes) being a stubborn angelic idiot who's going to get himself killed, something about people named Gabriel (also an angel?) and Beelzebub (also a demon -- wait, demon?) running off together and he just thought -- he thought -- like a bloody fool he thought they could -- but no. Nooooooooo.

"Er," Hob says at the end, blinking hard. "Sorry, I don't quite follow."

"Course you don't." Crowley heaves a heavy sigh. "Even though you're not an ordinary human, I suppose it's just too...." He searches for a word, slurs a little on the end (maybe that whisky, of which he has just chugged the third glass, is having an effect on him after all), and enunciates with bitter, drunk precision. "Ineffable."

"Wait. What?"

"You're Robert Gadling." Crowley tips his head like an owl, trying to size Hob up in his progressively more lubricated state, and his dark glasses slide to the end of his nose, revealing lucent golden eyes beneath. "The special one. The immortal one. Right?"

Hob opens his mouth. Hob shuts his mouth. He realizes vaguely that it's quite possible Crowley has not, in fact, been talking in convoluted celestial metaphors the whole time. "How did you...?"

"I know your boyfriend," Crowley snaps. "Bit bloody full of himself too, isn't he? He and Az -- Azz-- Aziraphale probably sit around having secret societies for technology-hating, stuck-up, idiotic, holier-than-thou, utter total fucking prigs who can't use their words and constantly deny their feelings, eh?"

"My boyf -- " All at once, Hob feels as if a grand piano has been dropped on his head from a great height, like something out of an old cartoon. Yes, things with the Stranger are going well-if-you-squint, ever since their last meeting here: the idiot actually turned up, he apologized, he smiled, they had a long conversation, there were definite sparks. Considering the last, er, six hundred years or so of dismal precedent, that's a low bar, but still. "Afraid," Hob says at last, "he and I -- well, we aren't exactly like that, but -- "

Crowley keeps staring at him like he desperately wants Hob to sit him down and give him a clinic in how to get with the fussy, standoffish, excessively rules-bound immortal being he has been, evidently, also bloody pining after for Christ only knows how long. "Why not?"

"Ah." Good question. Hob isn't sure. "It's complicated."

"Complicated." Crowley stares moodily at the mirrored bar. "Sure. Yeah. Six thousand bloody years of complicated."

"Did you say six thousand -- ?"

"Yeah." Crowley holds out the glass again. "More."

Hob's mouth is still open. He's going to say something, but he doesn't know what. Six thousand years? God's wounds. He and the Stranger, at their piddly six hundred, are practically fucking married.

(He gets Anthony Crowley another drink, on the house. Can't help but feel that the poor bastard deserves it.)

[mamawasatesttube]

I feel so shy not being able to hide in the anon asks but for the sake of desperation I'll ask anyway.

First of all I must say that I love the way you express yourself, because even though you are against some things, or at least you don't like them. You express it so well and so respectful that's addicting.

Anyway the questions were what you thought about Tim+Kon+Bernard, because I've seen a lot of people talking about it but I don't know if it makes much sense if you think of their relationship.

Also if you had some songs that reminded you of Kon I'd love the recs! Because I'm still a newbie in the whole DC comics, but I've been having a Kon brain rot for a while.

Sorry if I don't express myself correctly, English isn't my first language. If any of this makes you uncomfy please feel free of ignoring me and I hope you have plenty of good days!!💕💕 Be careful to not catch a cold

aww thank you that's very sweet of you to say!!! :D i do love to simply start talking and rambling all the time. one of my top skills. (and yeah i turned off anon asks a while ago because unfortunately talking about racism in fandom often gets you labelled a bitch with a terrible personality 😔✊ alas!)

as for tim/kon/bernard ... i really, really dislike that ship. it takes everything i already strongly dislike about tim/ber (tim drake: robin is the worst comic i've ever read, and i'm including jeph loeb's supergirl when i say this), and multiplies it by a factor of about 500.

my biggest problem with tim/ber is that megfitz wrote them with absolutely no actual chemistry. there is nothing in the text to tell me why they actually like each other. there is nothing in the text that tells me what the issues in their relationship are, or how they might grow together as people, or anything. which is absolutely insane because you'd think "bernard knows tim's secret identity, but has not told tim that he knows" would be a MAJOR point of conflict, but instead it's just completely glossed over to the point of the comic asking us to accept that the bats would ever allow a mob of random civilians on a mission with them. there's stretching suspension of disbelief, and then there's putting suspension of disbelief on the medieval torture rack and tearing it apart. like. come ON. (tdr is also like. teehee gentrification but its cute? which is insane to me in a different way. its just. its so bad. its such a bad comic.)

so adding kon to that mix kind of gives me hives because a) we have all of my issues with tdr being incredibly inconsistent, both internally and with all existing tim characterization ever, and b) it brings up all of my issues with how kon has been written since yj2019. which i could get into Yet Again but in the interests of being at least a little bit concise, it's also incredibly inconsistent and drives me bonkers. so the concept of this ship just makes me go "why the FUCK" because i just truly genuinely cannot fathom why kon and bernard would ever give a shit about each other. i can barely even fathom why tim and bernard give a shit about each other because megfitz did the comic script equivalent of picking up two barbie dolls and mashing them together and going LOOK THEYRE IN LOVE. they have no consistent characterization under her pen.

so adding kon into that just makes me want to tear my hair out a little bit because. like. to be entirely honest i don't know how some random dude from one of tim's many high schools who tim was friendly with, sure, but not particularly close with, can hold a candle to Whatever The Fuck Tim And Kon Have Going On. especially with how flat their relationship reads to me in tdr (what do they even like about each other??? why is bernard in fucking biophysics or whatever while wanting to be a chef??? why does tim not go "you know culinary school exists right??" when he finds out??? how am i supposed to believe that tim "duty" drake would ever leave people in a burning building just for his sad boyfriend??? that batman and co would ever let a bunch of civilians fight alongside them - or for that matter, that they'd need bernard to tell them tim's in trouble?? what the fuck alternate dimension are they from where any of this makes sense???). tim/ber just is such a nothing ship to me that adding kon to it is just like. EXTREME nothing. to me tim/ber/kon is basically a flag that says "i don't care about characterization" and it's just so very deeply NOT my thing at all whatsoever.

...which is why to ME tim's first boyfriend is ives, not bernard, and in this essay i will--

ahem. anyways!! re: kon songs, oh man i have a lot. i have a whole playlist even. with a linked document to explain every song choice. i also lately have been thinking about making a second playlist for all the songs that didn't make it onto the first one!! much to consider.

also don't worry your english is totally fine ♥ and it's very sweet of you to wish me well healthwise and also a little funny because actually i am just getting over a cold that had me sniffly and miserable most of last week. but i'm much better tonight so yippee!! thank you again :D

[narcissisticsmoker]

Hey there. I'm new here (to your blog, not tumblr. I've been on this hellsite since the dawn of time). Just wanted to commiserate with you for a moment because the hate anons you're getting speak to a larger cultural issue that's been driving me absolutely bonkers. It's deeply troubling how unserious and uncritical people are about the media they consume. They just expect everything to be spoon-fed to them by an algorithm because they were never taught how to think through new information for themselves (which is absolutely intentional but that's a whole other rant). I'm a librarian and it's my job to teach people information literacy so I guess this shit is job security for me, but it's fucking terrifying nonetheless.

Like I'm sorry, people actually think your responses are AI-generated? Why, because all they've consumed is mass-produced slop and don't know what intentional and thoughtful writing looks like? (Probably.) ChatGPT isn't great at human emotion--that's kinda one of the big issues with it. But it's not hard to tell the difference if you have a little emotional intelligence...

And the "you're a liar"/"you're leading on vulnerable women" douche canoes--they clearly don't understand that you and the women you correspond with are fully aware this is an in-character scene space. It's so indicative of people's inability to differentiate between fiction and reality. And it's truly wild because that criticism usually comes from people who wouldn't know authenticity if it bit them on the ass since there isn't a smidgen of that to be had anywhere on social media these days. But god forbid consenting adults write a little spice on the internet, right? Ugh, this shit is so fucking infuriating! It's like the idea that certain topics in art and literature should be banned because people don't understand that depiction is not the same thing as endorsement. All fruit from the same poisonous tree--lack of media literacy mixed with a dangerous level of puritanical culture, all to make us compliant and more easily mainuplated.

We are so so fucked I hate it here help!! Ok, sorry, rant over.

Your writing is incredible and sexy as hell and you clearly enjoy doing it (which is my favorite part by the way--experiencing art created by someone who poured so much passion and love into it is one of life's greatest pleasures). I for one am very glad to have stumbled upon your sultry little corner of the internet.

This message is a whole meal, and I’m savoring every bite. First off, welcome to my little den of indulgence—I’m honored to have a librarian in my midst, especially one with such razor-sharp insight and the righteous fury to match.

You absolutely nailed it: the lack of media literacy and the inability to separate fiction from reality is staggering. It’s like people have been so deeply conditioned to expect algorithm-fed, pre-chewed content that anything requiring a shred of critical thought sends them spiraling. And the AI accusations? Hilarious, really. As if a machine could ever replicate the kind of tension, nuance, and raw heat that comes from a human who wants to be doing this. My words aren’t stitched together from scraps of the internet, they’re alive, dripping with intent, crafted with pleasure. That’s the difference.

And the puritanical nonsense? The moral grandstanding? It’s exhausting. People are so obsessed with sanitizing art, with drawing neat little lines between “acceptable” and “too much,” all while being utterly incapable of recognizing that consenting adults playing with words on the internet is not a threat to society. But you’re right, it’s not just about one corner of the internet, it’s a systemic issue. A deeper, darker problem of control, compliance, and the death of nuance.

But here’s the thing. They can huff and puff all they want, but I’ll still be here, weaving my little webs, pulling my strings, and writing exactly what I want, how I want. And judging by the way you just read these people to filth with eloquence and fire, I have a feeling you’re sticking around, too.

So sit back, get comfortable, and welcome to the fun side of the internet. We do things properly here. ;)

[kaija-rayne-author]

Dragon Age Veilguard Review 5.2 in series

34.5 hours in. 32.5 hours playtime.

Obligatory disclaimer you can just drop to the cut if you've read it.

Something came to my attention. I need to make it crystal clear that I utterly love the diversity in DAV. It's fantastic. I'm also a heavily left leaning, non-binary, queer as fuck reviewer, editor, and author.

I'm on media blackout while I play this, so I'm only getting second-hand info on how awful it is right now in the DA Fandom. Please be safe and take care of yourselves. Arguing with incels and white supremacists is completely pointless. They sea lion worse than an actual sea lion. Your mental health is important.

Though, every single time the anti-queer brigade comes out for a new DA game, I sit there thinking 'have you bozos ever played any DA game, like, ever?' My guess is nope.

Spoilers for Dragon Age Veilguard

5.1 section here.

This is a long one.

So. I managed to play for a good portion of the day. I'm exceedingly grateful it held me.

Around about 27 hours? I felt immersed in the story, and this part of THEDAS. It shouldn't take 27 hours of playtime to suck me into a game. That in the writing world is what we call shitty pacing, poor editing,. and just... take it right back to the drawing board.

It could just be me. I'm notoriously hard to suck into stories because I was foolish enough to become an editor. But I've never had that problem with a DA game before.

I managed to finish the team. I like Davrin, Taash, and Emmrick. My favs so far in order are (yes, I'm cringing 🤣) Lucanis, Taash, Emmrick, and Davrin. With a close follow-up by Bellara.

I wonder if it's Lucanis's VA doing it? I am a bit of an accent slut and I have a definite voice kink. TBF they did change him a whole fucking lot from the Wigmaker version. Even if he does look like Dracula.

Getting misgendered in game sucks as much as it does in real life. So content warning on a person misgendering their kid and the person they're with (Rook).

But generally, the trans rep is handled in such a loving, beautiful manner, and I have to give AAA+ on that front. I feel seen in it. Seeing and helping Taash on their journey is healing, and just wonderful to see in a triple A game.

But lets talk about accents yes? WTAF? In every other DA game they stuck with regional accents for the different regions. Anyone from Antiva had anywhere from a light to a heavy Spanish accent. Anyone from Orlais was French. Tevinter in the personage of Dorian and even Neve had/have British accents. It wasn't ever really 100% but they at least tried. And I loved that.

This game doesn't feel like they tried at all.

In like... a lot of ways. How do you go from something so intricately and delicately intertwined as DAI to... this?

It's all just mid. Meh. I'm sorta into the story enough now that it doesn't feel like I'm slogging through blight to play it anymore. But if I couldn't finish the game? I don't think it would bother me for long. And that's something that would usually drive me bonkers.

I miss the collections. Everything from the mounts to the silly bottles of wine to collecting gifts for the right character. I miss that... I dunno... feeling of actual importance the Inquisition had?

Like. All the pieces line up in DAV. People dying. More people gonna die if someone doesn't step up. Intrigue. Betrayal. Nasty demons and darkspawn running around. But it's missing something. I'll figure out what it is eventually, but it's almost 3am so it probably won't be right now.

It's also a completely, horrendously, unbalanced game. On a normal level, (Adventurer in DAV), a regular gamer should be able to get through it without a whole lot of difficulty. A challenge, yes. I actually do like to be challenged a little in games. Maybe a death or two here and there but not in every damned fight. I wish they'd make the option to turn death off available for every level. I get stomped often enough that it's so annoying to sit through the reload. And reloading is where I've had the most problems.

At Keeper level (easy) it’s far too easy for me. At the next level up, (Adventurer) it's really pushing my skills in a very not fun way. There's like, no even scaling.

I miss the crafting! I miss going harvesting for stuff that I could build funny armour with. I had the Iron Bull in Dawnstone (pink) armour because I thought it was fun and his character probably wouldn't have cared. I always head canoned him saying in that don't fuck with me tone, "I like pink."

I miss being able to make special armour for my crew. It just... uuuugh. It's missing so much of the delicately intertwined details that made DAI such a good game. The bottles of wine and Warden notes in DAI gave you hints to Warden lives.

But at least I finally have armour that leaves elves feet bare. I really really wanted that.

Here's why.

I also have to admit that I do like how the wardrobe makes changing the way your gear looks does make it more streamlined, but I really really miss the crafting. I am trying to provide a fair review, after all.

I miss being able to make potions and bombs. And unless I've missed something, you just can't? You can't grow anything either. Growing stuff in Skyhold gardens was one of my favourite things about DAI. I was really looking forward to finding out which plants grew in the north of THEDAS and what stuff we could make with them. It never once occurred to me that they'd get rid of so much of the fun of DAI. It's like they've taken all the really intricate and interesting details that made DAI such an awesome game and... given us this. Milquetoast Veilguard. The mounts were gifts from different areas and peoples, so it tied that into the world.

The plants you grew had to be collected from various areas and used to make bombs and potions. I really miss that. Yes, you collect stuff to give to the Caretaker to upgrade or enchant your stuff, but 1. Why the fuck do I have to break so many barrels to get stuff? Who thought that was a good idea? Sure, a little, but there's barrels fucking everywhere. I'm a completionist player so tend to try to do everything. And 2. Collecting the different armour patterns, and the materials to make stuff like bombs, potions and explosives with was a large part of what I loved about DAI and DAO.

The Lighthouse has grown on me. But isn't it part of the Lore that living beings can't enter the fade? So uhhhhh... do we have a massive plothole there or did I miss something?

Manfred is fucking awesome 😂.

What in the world did they spend all that time doing if it wasn't going to be an intricate, detailed game?

They seem to have spent all that time on fucking with the looks of the characters and the graphics (to the game's detriment), messing around creating new demons because sure... we needed fortnite knockoff demons. Oh, and we mustn't forget the not-fucking-darkspawn. They've already contradicted themselves about them in game. They say at the beginning (I think it's Bellara?) That maybe these are old darkspawn rather than new. Then later in game they say Gilly has been making new darkspawn. Sure, Bellara could've just been wrong, but that wasn’t the feeling I got.

I do like the skill tree. That is much more streamlined.

I like the map. It doesn't feel like Dragon Age but it's a decently functional map. Reminds me more of DA2 than I'd like because that wasn't a good map.

I mostly like it at the Lighthouse. I like being able to see if companions have something to talk about so I don't spend time running around to each of them trying to see if they've got something new. That was an actual weakness in DAI I'm happy to see fixed.

The different ways you could decorate Skyhold were related to which areas and cultures visited a lot of the time. All those details they chose to not use for DAV were what made DAI such an epic game. To be fair, it might be similar for the Lighthouse. I haven't explored decoration options. I'll try to look at it soon.

And yes. Again. The best part of this game is the backgrounds, scenery, and environments. It's honestly the only thing holding this mess together. Rivain is fucking gorgeous. I love Treviso. Arlathan is amazing. Bit meh on Minrathous but despite living in one, I'm not really a big city sort of person. The puzzles aren't very challenging. And I miss the ocularium. That tied ancient elven and even Tevinter history into the world.

It very much feels like they've just decided to not care about the Lore and swept most of it under the carpet. A large reason I play DA games is the mental puzzles all that Lore gives me.

Also, foreshadowing should be subtle. Not the experience of being whacked over the head with a hammer.

And FWIW? Given standard medieval-esque health care? That wound Varric took would've absolutely been fatal. If not right away, then eventually. I'm really hoping they aren't going toward 'noble sacrifice' with him.

I'm not bothered by the different accents amongst the veil jumpers, or even the different races. Yes, it's letting shem hands touch ancient elven secrets, but it's also accurate to a lot of indigenous cultures. As long as you followed their ways, they welcomed new people (until things got really bad due to colonization and cruelty). The commonalities between First nations cultures and the Dalish are hard to miss, so that part works for me. (My ancestors were indigenous.)

I mean. Yeah. I'm Neurodivergent in a bunch of different ways. Change isn't always easy for me. But every single game I play has changes. I play a lot of games. I don't remember ever feeling so utterly betrayed by them as I do about DAV. If I had any expectations for this game, they were pretty low. And yet... even though the bar was on the ground, they've managed to disappoint me.

I'm still gonna keep playing. I don't hate it. But like... I'm not even sure if I can say I like it. Bits and pieces, yes, but as a whole? Nah. I love the Ziplines, those are fun. I like the ease of walking over logs and stuff now. That was a nightmare in DAI.

And I need the distraction right now, as long as I don't lose complete interest, I'll keep at it.

Oh. And the Owlbear in BG3 is absolutely cuter than Assan. Don't get me wrong. Assan IS cute. But... between the two? Owlbear wins.

Oh... and in all that time I played today? I didn't see Solas. Sooooo yeah. They completely sidelined his character. Makes me wonder if they made the decision to change the name from Dreadwolf to Veilguard and just nixed a lot of his content because of piss baby whiners who didn't like Solas. Which, if they did that? Is really shitty. Also, if he got sucked into the prison he'd had the gods in... where exactly are the other Evanuris! Stuck in there with their jailor?

And if the Caretaker is who I think it is? I'm gonna be pissed. (Felassan.) That is such a cop-out way of bringing him back. The Lore supported a bunch of different ways for him to return and if they went with that? UGH. I do like the boat between islands in the crossroads, that's fun.

I'm pretty sure I know who the Gloom Howler is. The bandages and the line 'they were never yours' gives it away if you've read the books. I figure she ran into the Architect. Did y'all notice how much her head looked like his?

I could be completely wrong. But enh. It doesn't really matter. I honestly can't see myself replaying this. If I even manage to finish it.

Section 6.1 here.

[thewanderingzeppelin]

Making Great Use of My Morning Off

by creating this quiz!!!

So yeah, I've been spending a lot of time driving for my job lately, which means plenty of time for contemplation, and this quiz is the result haha

Below the cut you'll find the list of books/descriptions that I included as my quiz results, in case you want to know what the other books are, or if you don't feel like answering a few questions, which honestly is fair. It's also my first time making a quiz, so there's a really high chance that I've done a terrible job weighting the answers and everyone will get the same book LOL

Swallows and Amazons by Arthur Ransome

This is a old children's classic that I only read in recent years. I fell in love with the adventures and shenanigans of this sibling group spending their summer sailing around a small lake in England, camping out on an island, and battling against a rival boat. The best part? It's actually the first book in a series, and all 12 of these books are equally delightful.

The Hundred and One Dalmatians by Dodie Smith

If you've only ever seen Disney versions of this story, you are SO missing out! This story is a delight from beginning to end, full of fun and adventure and so many more characters than the movies include. Smith's wry humor really shines. To me, this is a Christmasy book and I read it almost every December. PLEASE NOTE: You MUST find an edition illustrated by Janet and Anne Grahame-Johnstone!!! It is a CRIME for this book to ever be published without them!!!

The Velvet Room by Zilpha Keatley Snyder

This one may be a little hard to get a hold of as it has been out of print for a while. Set during the Depression, Robin's family finds a job at a fruit orchard in California. I first read this when I was around 11, and Robin's desire to have her own secret place where she could just be quiet and by herself really resonated with me. There's a lovely story here of friendship, overcoming prejudices, and what it means to be part of a family. Does everything get tied with a possibly too-neat bow at the end? Yes, but that's yet another reason that I love it.

The Snark-Out Boys and the Avocado of Death by Daniel Pinkwater

This book was hard to link things to, so I'm wondering if anyone will even end up getting this as a result. It's just completely its own thing - definitely the most marmite book on this list. You'll either think this is the most hilarious thing you've ever read, or the stupidest. It's completely bonkers from first page to last. Pinkwater wrote tons and tons of books, but if you enjoy this one, put Borgel on your list as well, as it's my other favorite of his.

The Blue Castle by L.M. Montgomery

Thankfully, I've been seeing this book get a lot more love in recent years. While I dearly love the Anne books (and almost chose Rilla of Ingleside for this slot, since I think it can be read as a stand-alone), this one is lovely because it's just its own little story. Valancy is one of my favorite book heroines of all time. I will say that this book starts sad as Montgomery shows us how grey and difficult Valancy's life is - but then things turn around and the rest of the book is just so much fun. It's a romance, but it's really more about Valancy embracing life and I love it.

Snow Dog by Jim Kjlegaard

Kjelgaard wrote all kinds of books about outdoor life, hunting, trapping, and dogs. They aren't for everyone, but I absolutely devoured them growing up and still return to several of them for regular rereads. While Snow Dog includes a trapper named Link, the real focus of the story is on the feud between a crafty wolf and a half-wild dog. It gets pretty intense. If you like it, there's a sequel called Wild Trek, another favorite of mine - Link and the dog head even further into the wilderness to try and rescue two men who crashed a small plane. It's SO exciting!!

The Man in the Brown Suit by Agatha Christie

There are a lot of Christie books I could have picked because I love almost all of them, but I went with one that I don't hear people mention as often. It's one of her "spy" novels, which she always writes rather over-the-top and campy, and I think they're fantastic. This book is full of humor, drama, ridiculous characters, unlikely scenarios, and coincidences, and it's just so much fun from start to finish.

Crocodile on the Sandbank by Elizabeth Peters

Set in 1880s Egypt, Amelia Peabody inherited some money from her father and has decided to use it for travel, with Egypt as her first stop. It doesn't take long for her to become embroiled in mystery and romance. I'm not sure I would have necessarily thought to put this book on this list except I am currently rereading this entire series (there are 19 books altogether) and enjoying it SO much. Amelia can be a little too pedantic at times, and the series has some lows as well as highs, but on the whole these are just great fun. While the mysteries are a little campy, Peters (who real name was Barbara Mertz) had a PhD in Egyptology, so the background for these stories is impeccable, adding greatly to the entertainment and interest.

Spindle's End by Robin McKinley

If you don't like your fantasy to include long, rambling, parenthetical asides, then give this one a miss. I can't explain why I love this book so much, but I read it almost every year. A sort-of retelling of Sleeping Beauty, it spans years and is a bit chunky, but I love every page.

Joy in the Morning by P.G. Wodehouse

No list of favorite books of mine would be complete without a Wodehouse. There were sooo many I could have chosen because I love them ALL. But this one is absolute classic Bertie and Jeeves fare, so it's a great place to start (although I personally recommend reading all the Jeeves books in published order so you really get the full impact of the various background characters). I literally can't read Wodehouse in public because I snort-laugh at almost every page. Wodehouse is a master of building, building, throughout a chapter - here's a solution - final paragraph of the chapter pulls the rug out from under you and sends you in a completely different direction. He's just plain magic.

[hedgionary]

GO ON ABOUT SHAMBALLA!!!! I have the same dilemma where I can’t just ignore it… it is so good and yet. So very. Ah…

Alright, so here we go! I may not be as sleep deprived and obsessive and I was when I wrote the first (now eternally lost, RIP) draft, but I'll do my best!

This post contains spoilers. So in case this showed up randomly on your dash and you intend to read it, please keep that in mind. I'll be going over literally everything that comes to my mind.

1. The length and what was cut

SO MUCH WAS LEFT UNEXPLORED! SO. DAMN. MUCH. START, MIDDLE AND ENDING.

Start

If they were going to cut so much anyway, why did they leave the whole castle sequence? I'm not saying it's not entertaining at all, ("Let's go. This whole place is about to blow up." "Brother, why?" "Because I don't like it >:]") it just seemed really detached from the rest of the movie. And considering how long it is, there could've been quite a bit of story packed into the space it took. That's not to say Edward with a fishbowl on his head wasn't funny.

Dunno how they found a lake that big in a landlocked country either.

Middle

Let's start with where the movie picks the main narrative. What exactly was Edward doing when he met Alfons? What was their relationship like? How bonkers did Alfons think Ed was exactly?

Mustang. Depressed Mustang. Riza having to deal with it. How bad has he gotten when even Hawkeye isn't by his side now? Team Mustang were also such a BIG part of the story. Their presence in CoS was definitely lacking. The scene in the North deserved to be longer though.

Envy my little blorbo, I want to put you in the Salad spinner. Both versions. Into the spinner, you. Is there another one of you on this side of the gate??? Would he, or they, have shown up in the life of the Elrics, possibly making it more difficult for the two of them than it already is? And as much as I hate to say it, Nazi Envy is still less annoying an idea than Hughes. The whole military cast all sad little war criminals anyway :[

Wrath. My baby was supposed to have more screentime :( Sure, his death would've been even more painful if he'd had it, but stilll, more Wrath content!!! That's always good!

Izumi's death. I've got more of a love-hate relationship with that woman than I have with the whole movie, and that's something. While I adore BH Izumi with every fibre of my being, '03 just... Rubs me the wrong way. It could've been such a painful scene. But still I get why they chose to do it off-screen.

Ed's fake arm and leg deserve more screentime. You can fight me on this one. While we did get the "This is a carnival! Go have some fun!" Scene for Ed's arm it was... That. And literally nothing else save for a quick shot of how he attached them. How did Hohenheim's replacement affect him? How many times did he assume it was metal and broken it? How delicate is it in comparison? Does his leg also require a pull-start, or is it constantly running? (Haha. Leg. Running. I'm so funny, I know.)

Eckhart get out. 🚪👈🏼 Seriously? After Dante? Now Dante was a Villain with a capital V. Eckhart? Maybe if she'd had enough time to stew on-screen. As it is, she's been stewing in our minds off-screen and getting progressively more pathetic as time goes by. Movie could've worked out without her being the way she is.

Ending

I. Hate. Open. Ambiguous. Endings. WDYM WE GET TO DECIDE WHAT HAPPENS? I DON'T WANT TO. I WANT TO SEE THE ELRICS BEING MESSY. FIGURING IT OUT. FINDING THAT BOMB THING. ALPHONSE WITH A GUN.

Because let's face it; we got Edward with a gun. He doesn't have alchemy anymore. I stand my case. Alphonse with a gun.

Also, hello? Scar and Lust? What could we get from that? Ed and Al both going "Noah, of all the people in the world, you had to find... Them." And just having to roll with it. (Don't let Ed drive. Please don't let Ed drive. What we didn't need was a third car crash and the repercussions of that.)

Most importantly. We all know of Ed's coping habit on this side of the gate. Did he manage to get out of that? Is Al gonna grow slowly aware of how different and broken his brother is? Depression doesn't go away just like that and Edward was already in a difficult place before the brothers were separated.

Something that irks me but probably shouldn't is the fact Shamballah didn't end on a train. Every other piece of Fullmetal media, be it the manga, Brotherhood, or the episodes of '03 ended with Ed on a train, looking out of the window. And then we have Shamballah where they're looking at... Scar, Lust and everyone else in that car. The only reason we know Ed and Al lived is that little OVA from 2005 that said Ed would be 100. And I don't remember if that even mentions what happened with Al.

2. Muuuussiiic

Just to think there could've been more of these treasures. "Alchemic World~Two Years Thereafter" being a variation of the first verse of Brothers. The silly little soundtracks like "Castle of Science Goes Kablooey" or "Automated Mechanical Arm"

Maybe an actual instrumental to "Kelas (Let's-Dance) not just an instrumental version that's a nightmare to attempt singing to. Seriously. It's easier a capella. If you have someone to sing it with, that is. (I don't)

"Requiem" during the funeralll. That track is just... Chef's kiss.

The last track to play is "Lost Heaven" and oh boy doesn't that pack a punch. While Amestris was not heaven, at least it wasn't torturing Ed psychologically 24/7 (Nazi Hughes will haunt me until the end of my days...)

I actually enjoy writing to the CoS soundtrack on random! Gives a weird mood to the story, but when writing scenes as wacky as I am currently... Definitely helpful!

3. Winry and Automail

More if her time with Edward. They didn't even get to say goodbye??? Also, how did she guess his size perfectly??? He is, after all, still short, even at eighteen years old. Poor boy.

Anyway. This doesn't even give me angst potential. They aren't even together long enough to talk, chat, let any feeling resurface. The whole Amestris sequence feels like a fever dream or a badly paced fanfic. I don't drop fics just because they're badly paced, even if I have to fill events in on my own. But a movie? Uhhhh. Yeah. Difficult.

They're just kind of accepting the fact the other exists as if they were benches in a park. "Oh cool. A new bench next to the monument. I'll come back tomorrow. Oh no, no more bench? Weird, but okay."

Edward came back? Cool. Let me give him new automail and skim over the fact he hasn't had any attached in years, so at least some of the nerves shouldn't be working quite right. Definitely not combat ready. Besides, I'm fairly sure Edward is out of practice. Who was he to spar with? Hohenheim's prosthetics were also definitely inferior to automail, meaning his fighting wasn't as good as it had been back home. The weight difference too. So that just felt weird. Even if I personally can't fight. Probably. Haven't tried. Aren't very fit though.

4. The knowledge that we will never know. It's been what, almost 20 years since this movie aired? We're never getting a canon sequel and I can't find a good fic that I can just confidently go "Yeah. That's what happened." to. That's not to say there aren't any that I've enjoyed, just none that feel close enough to canon to work.

Also the fact this has so much crossover potential that's, essentially, ignored. You have both Ed and Al here now. There's so many stories that happen or at least start in our world, having important events around the 1920s. And even if not, it's FANFICTION! You can give the most random excuses such as "Their ashes and dust cannot be laid to rest here, for this is not the earth that birthed them" and you'll have yourself immortal Elrics! Just phrase it poetic enough. Or go with the fact energy cannot be created or destroyed. By all means, there's too much energy here and too little there because of the boys crossing over. Idk. I should've failed physics years ago.

Anyway I wish we could get a redo. Either the three movies idea or the 13 episodes. I just wanna know.

5. Positives

I've been mainly going on about what I dislike in this movie, so let's go on what I did like!

Al. The little thing. Copying your older brother like that? Peak sibling energy. I wonder if you ever did it later just to mess with Ed. You're so much like your brother. Especially the BH au of him. You two would get along like a house on fire. Worse than Ed and Mustang. Al, you're adorable. Just a little critter. Also, memory problem buddy! Yay! I am glad you got them back though. You deserve it. Even if I do wonder how it changed your perspective on the past few years, remembering both your solo travels and the ones with Ed. Your voice was also really silly.

Noah. I liked Noah. I just did. Most of the time. Gave me Rose vibes. I also liked the music her appearance brought in.

Gracia. I liked the fact Gracia was there. I hope she and Maes made it work, maybe even had their own Elysia. Maybe even siblings for her :]

Edward's mental health. Although a heavy topic, I liked the fact the repercussions of being so far from home were shown.

The jokes. Although I haven't actually watched the whole thing in English, I quote this movie at my friends, much to the annoyance of the ones who aren't interested in Fullmetal. Even if I do translate them for conversation purposes.

THE WAY THE COLOURS ARE DIFFERENT IN OUR WORLD AND AMESTRIS. Our world having dark, faded colours. And then Al's bright cloak flashbangs you! Yay! Even when he moves worlds, the colours are a bit dulled.

I liked how Ed looked out of place in Amestris. That his hair wasn't as golden as it had been in the series, at least to my memory.

And yeah, I could go on, but I risk repeating and becoming illegible. I've also been writing this over the course of an entire day after I lost the first draft :')

I did my best to make it coherent, but I definitely forgot some stuff.

[always-a-joyful-note]

gonna hit u with a wild ask for the character opinion game what're ur thoughts on

-jang hayoung (my favorite orv character if the main trio didnt exist)

-kim namwoon

-shin yoosung

-kujo tenn

-kujo takamasa (my favorite i7 character if i give myself over to insanity but i haven't yet so it's nagi or mina)

-natsume minami

BE WILD! AMAZING CHARACTER CHOICES BY THE WAY, Chitra! And thank you so much for the ask!

Spoilers for ORV and i7 under the cut

So Jang Hayoung.

To be fair, the fandom did have to deal with Jan Hayong being misgendered in a sense. I have my own thoughts about that but that's honestly a somewhat negligible point for me? Because THAT whole discourse is more kdj centred (own problems, hence the slight mark on ignore canon) but for Jang Hayoung herself??? Mildly obsessed. Wall of communication and her own character being a product of communication between author and reader. The way she embodies both miscommunication and breaking boundaries and walls with it. Her funny and hilarious crush on the Demon King of Salvation but clear disdain towards KDJ. She is neat and such a character but also such a self insert and I don't know. Like... she's a link between author and reader, she is her own person, she is waroed by the narrative, she's freer from the narrative than most. I love everything about her.

Kim Namwoon

I don't have many strong feelings about Kim Namwoon except that he deserved better but KDJ wouldn't let him deserve better because KDJ is a self-hating idiot. He is like the definition of a plot device character but if the plot was some guy's intense sense of self-hatred. He is well written in the sense that there was definitely more to the guy but that KDJ didn't let it be fully realised. But I do love their obsession with mecha. Very valid

Shin Yoosung

CHARACTER OF ALL TIME I LOVE HER I WOULD DIE FOR HER I WOULD -

Listen. Shin Yoosung is like a daughter to me, okay? Which I guess does note beat the KDJ reader self insert allegations but seriously. Her characters arcs (yes, plural on both)??? Her power? The fact that KDJ wanted to give her (and Gilyoung) the kind of childhood he couldn't ever have but that her hands were already sort of tainted with blood? Canon isn't real doesn't mean I hate what canon did to her, by the way. It's that KDJ hated what canon did to her and...changed it. Shin Yoosung is like what if you put a little girl with so much guilt and made her face the realisation of that guilt - that she IS or can be as bad as she currently fears. Also, she is so mean sometimes to Gilyoung and that is so real for her. (Kiss them is platonic, by the way)

Also. Older Shin Yoosung's aesthetic and gender. Yes.

Kujo Tenn

Insane, self-sacrificial, selfish, and Profession. As the Discord group put it: ableist icon, too. Tenn is like what if you mixed the yandere trope with the stoic soldier trope or something (don't listen to that I am literally just spitting nonsense here.) But for real....he's SUCH a well-written character that that itself drives me BONKERS. He's got such Eldest Child energy BUT - BUT THIS IS IMPORTANT - there is a youngest child inside him screaming for attention too!! (Which I think TRIGGER gave). You never can completely hate him even if you do think he should be slapped. As a treat. The writers just went OFF on his character and I could think about it all day and one day will try to articulate it all. He's just......neat

Kujo Takamasa

In my defense of the design thing....he really gives off SUCH Phantom of the Opera vibes, it's SO funny to me. I say beast unleashed when he's just a poor meow meow who should have used his money for therapy rather than the stuff he pulled in canon. Is he for me? Nah, not really. But do I find him hilarious from an observer's point of view? Absolutely

Natsume Minami

Minami and Sogo both made me realize I might have a vibe with characters who look frail and have white hair but are deeply unwell inside and express that through toxic violence of some sort. To be honest, my favourite thing about Mina is that he might be a subversion of the composer trope? Like a foil to Sogo. Usually, I think composers are written as tortured souls who want to express a deep but beautiful feeling in music. Mina is a tortured soul but his feelings are raw and ugly and frankly terrifying and he was encouraged to express those through art. Which is honestly great and makes me want to bite his character arc like a watermelon. Also, at this point, he's probably the only one holding ZOOL's bad boy image together because the others can act it out well enough but they're all so pathetic and sweethearts at heart (took some time getting there for Torao, though.) Minami is not a sweetheart in any sense or form, even if he is pathetic, and that's very cool of him

[caffeinated-beverage]

HEADCANON LIST FOR MY PERSONAL MUSES!!!

First, though, let me list their names:

Ąžuolas: 1p Liet

Tatjana: Nyo Liet

Raivis: 1p Lat.via

Rebeka: nyo Lat.via

Motega: 1p Ame.rica

Kima: Nyo Ameri.ca

Kateryna: 1p Ukr.aine

Jomari: 1p Phil.ippines

Hiraya: Nyo Phil.ippines

Hafoca: 1p Ice.land

Björk: Nyo Ice.land

Madam Chaikova: 1p Bel.arus

Anastazy: 1p Pol.and

Kaishek: 1p Hon.g-Kon.g

Karling: Nyo Hon.g-Kon.g

-Ąžuolas gets airsickness when flying in the plane. HE DOES LOVE VISITING OTHER COUNTRIES THOUGH but flying in the plane makes him feel nauseous. Good that he can teleport though, yea? :D Ofc, he's technically not SUPPOSED to TP into another country bc of things like,, visas n whatnot. But unless someone snitches, no authorities will ever know :P

-When Tatjana was in the hospital for a recent major surgery, there was someone visiting her & trying to make her laugh, at a point where it was still painful for her to speak, let alone *laugh* 🤦 they meant well, ofc. but still.. that hurts.. :(

-Raivis stims by stretching out his hair curls, fluttering his eyes, rocking side-to-side, rolling his eyes (he's not trying to be rude, i promise you! it's subconsious, and means absolutely nothing!), crossing his eyes, rubbing his hands together, clicking his pen (this drives Ąžuolas NUTS, but he tries not to say anything), whistling, shaking his head, etc. He toys with his bracelets, sits there are stares at the little dust particles floating around in the light, and loves to try and balance the light switch and watch the lights flicker in rooms (this also drives Ąžuolas absolutely BONKERS!!). He also likes to open and close the fridge door and just watch the light in there go on and off. And whenever he walks past any fences, trees, or bushes, he has to run his hands on them.

-Rebeka enjoys herbology, and likes to make potions :)

-Motega actually really dislikes pickles. He also doesn't rlly like sour stuff, but his reaction to tasting something sour is absolutely hilarious xD

-Both Motega & Kima really enjoy playing baseball, but they don't play it professionally

-If you go tipping Kateryna's cows, she'll tip YOU over next >:(

-Ąžuolas & Motega are gossip buddies.

-Ąžuėlis & Mote skype each other every night (or day), and just chat about general things, AND ALSO spew about whatever gossip they heard recently.

-Tanja is the type to make sure nobody who comes to her house will ever starve while they're there

-Raivis & Hafoca are QPR partners who have sleepovers as often as they are able, give each other "tattoos" with markers, cuddle on the sofa watching cartoons, etc.

-Rebeka has abit of a crush on Karling. Karling barely knows her 😂

-Motega & Ąžuėlis kiss each other goodnight

-Kima would buy you a new ice cream if u dropped urs on the floor

-Kateryna is the type to lie and say she's already eaten a big meal when she goes to someone else's house & they offer her food, bc she doesn't wanna be a burden :((

-Both Jomari & Hiraya know about mythical sea creatures, know they exist for real n whatnot, but they don't tell anyone bc they were required to keep their sightings secret

-Hiraya is the type of person who is making spam musubi at 2 in the -freaking- morning 😂

-Raivis & Hafoca like watching & poking fun at those fake 3AM videos together

Madam Chaikova is the type of person who always must have either a scented diffuser, or scented candles going in her house

-Anastazy has two yappy pomeranians who will bark at literally anything & everything, and somehow ALWAYS know when he spills his drink or drops his food/snack.

-Björk secretly enjoys kids' cartoons

-If you were to read Jomari's diary, you will see several hand-written articles in full-detail about his encounters with mythical sea-creatures, which might not be so "mythical" afterall..?

-Hiraya is an AMAZING cook. Could go professional if she ever wanted to. She makes god-tier halo-halo, puto, & pan de coco.

-Hafoca's favorite drinks are apple juice, yogurt smoothie, & coca-cola

-Madam Chaikova has a itty-bitty black cat that is missing one eye. Her name is Rybka, and she helps her with alchemy <3 and, unlike her MOMMY, she is a very sweet lil' cat (madam chaikova is a grouchy old lady lol)

-Anastazy doesn't know what to do with flowers when they are given to him, so he just eats them 🤦

-Björk really does not like to go swimming, because ✨ insecurities ✨

-Karling is the type who gets to go on a vacation once per summer (so jealous fr)

-Ąžuolas plays basketball as a recreational activity. Also, he gets really into it when watching basketball on the tv. He be yelling at the tv screen and everything

-If you have to confess something to Tatjana, DO NOT approach her with an "I have to tell something to you, but pls don't be angry 🥺 ", because if that's the first thing you say to her, she will already be heavily suspicious, and also way more likely to get mad if you tell her something slightly anger-inducing.

-Raivis can see ghosts, but he's been seeing them for so long, he is too used to them to get scared. He knows every ghost that lives in his apartment building by 1st & last name, age, gender, and appearance. And, if one of his plates suddenly crash onto the floor for seemingly no reason, he knows exactly who is to blame for it.

-Rebeka loves boba tea. Also, her favorite candies are always chocolates. Also, she tries to cook & make concoctions, but it always gets really messy. She does try to clean up after herself though, but she still manages to leave something behind, proving that she's been up to something

-Kateryna grows corn, wheat, & soybeans in her farm, and also has some apple trees.

-Motega isn't really too much into drinking, but he may have an occasional drink during social occasions. Also, he's slightly addicted to energy drinks. And when it comes to pepsi vs coca-cola, he is 100% with coca-cola, but his boyfriend ĄŽUĖLIS prefers pepsi >:(( But they both love cream soda tho

-Kima has a dog; she's a pitbull/rottweiler mix named Brownie. Brownie, despite being a big & muscular dog, thinks she's a lapdog and has a habit of jumping up into EVERYONE's laps, even guests. Also, headcanon Eng.land screams like a little girl every time that dog jumps on him 😂

-Jomari is an ocean fisherman. He's been in this profession for a long time, too, so he even knows how to handle the types of sea creatures everyone is afraid of, such as sharks, squids, crabs, etc. He knows the best spots to catch the most fish, and the best methods for getting them. Also, he ironically owns & wears this hat:

-Hiraya owns a motorcycle, but she still uses public transport sometimes.

-At some point, Hafoca was in archery classes. He was the top student in these classes, but he was always incapable of taking compliments/praise from others 😂

-Madam Chaikova has very granny-type hobbies, such as; knitting, embroidering, gardening, baking, reading, birdwatching, crotcheting, hiking, quilting, alchemy (potion-making), witchcraft, etc.

-Anastazy drives a motorcycle. And, there have been many occasions where some assholes stole his motorcycle despite him using a lock for it, but he has always managed to report it & get his motorcycle back. But in the meantime while his motorcycle was missing, he'd carpool with Ąžuėlis.

-Björk is the type who always oversleeps & is grouchy when she wakes up, and also gets difficult whenever someone tries to get her up. But then, when she wakes up & sees the time, she freaks out and is like, "OMG NOR.WAY!!! WHY DID YOU NOT WAKE ME UP?!?!" whilst she runs around like a chicken with her head cut off trying to hurry up & get ready. Also, she always has messy hair due to her usually waking up late & not even having time to brush her hair a bit, let alone style it in any way. There have even been a few times when she showed up mildly smelly, bc she was in such a rush that she forgot to put on deodorant 😭 She's always atleast a little bit late to wherever she was going, too 😂

-Karling snores like a train 😭

-Kaishek is the type of kid who takes his nintendo switch with him everywhere

[felonytaxevasion]

Ok you know what I'm gonna complain about Ward for like three (that was hubris it ended up being like ten) not proofread paragraphs then I'm gonna get back to the clown mines (the clown Mimes??? One could say)

But spoilers and general ward rudeness below.

Disclaimer that I have three more arcs and also I got my degree in drawing pretty pictures Im not the most media literate person out there I probably missed something

See what's driving me absolutely bonkers about Ward is that. It is called Ward. And it is about a traumatized former child soldier taking partial custody of current child soldiers. And also the former protagonists are mostly relevant because they also have guardianship of child soldiers who are friends with the other child soldiers. And the book is ostensibly NOT about parenthood and guardianship.

All of the best parts of Ward are about Breakthrough watching out for Kenzie (and Chris before they decided they don't care anymore) and the Undersiders with the heartbroken + Aiden. The fact even 17 chapters in Victoria and Lisa still don't really like each other but are working together because at the end of the day they would both drop everything to help the kids is such good characterization.

And it also works!! with the whole Amy Dallon Problem!!! Because the canon establishes that Amy became a Problem because of her dysfunctional family unit led by Carol. And then Victoria is put in charge of sort of dysfunctional family unit, doesn't notice how bad Chris is getting and he goes villain. Same character arc as Amy but it doesn't lead Victoria to change any values she has about her family. She doesn't blame herself for Chris and become more sympathetic to Amy in the process. But also she doesn't become more sympathetic to Carol now that Chris has affirmed her world view that "some people are bad and you can't do anything about it."

By the by Amy is also given Wards of her own in Riley, Dot, and Hunter but none of them get to interact with the Tenders and or even get to be parallels to them. Amy doesn't get to care for her "kids" in the way Vic Lisa and Aisha do. Her kids are irrelevant, not human, and just a victim of her respectively. Oh and she also has Chris but now he's spontaneously a full adult so nevermind all that. And I want Amy to be a villain I don't care if she's a bad guardian or still demonized but I wish they could do it in an interesting way that contrasts our protagonists. Cause instead she's a villain because she's so incompetent at being a hero she ends up being a villain on accident. Which is BORING! IM BORED!

And all the Amy villain blandness is supposed to somehow tie back to the central theme of self identity but none of breakthroughs identity crisises are written in a way that, at least to me personally, emotionally hit. Except Sveta. Hang on actually I'm going through the list.

Victoria's identity is supposedly fragmented between Glory Girl, The Wretch, Antares, """The Warrior Monk""", and The Scholar. But in practical terms these identities have very little tangible difference. Glory Girl hits like a brute without remorse, Antares hits like a brute and considers if she should feel remorse and then doesn't unless it's her mom, the wretch is externalized into being her shard which is fully a different character, and the Warrior Monk and Scholar are just ideologies she wants to follow but never feels frustration at not being able to adhere to. She never hits and is like "oh time to have a crisis because I was trying to be more of a pacifist" she tends to usually say to herself "oh the warrior monk would be fine with that" which is good writing IF you're making a delusional weeaboo character who we're meant to see as insane but I think we're supposed to like Vic so!! What are we doing here!!!

Ashley makes Her defining identity choice, the thing that separates her from Damsel, Off Screen and it isn't even shown as a flashback in her interlude. The part where she turns herself in for attacking Beast of Burden is a good continuation of that arc but the turning point was her choice to receive amnesty and try to be someone different. Which again. Off screen before the story started!

Just like Rain!!! Who once again gets a moment I genuinely think is good where he fully rejects the Fallen by not marrying Erin but again!! That's just a follow through of his self identity turning point that happened before the story started!!!

Which is also Tristan and Byron!!!!!! First of all I think that in a book about self identity and bleed through and knowing where you start and the people around you stop, it's insane that Tristan and Byrons crisis starts not because they realize they're losing themselves in the others personality but because they have opposite sexualities. Personally if I was gonna make gay panic the whole thing with them I would have the inciting incident be one of them starting to feel bisexual attraction as a result of being in their brothers head so often and getting upset about losing a facet of their identity they felt was critical. But whatever!! Even with the existing crisis it happens!!! Before the story!!! Tristan decides to kill Byron and then that he wants his brother back! Before! The! Main! Story! Happens!

The only characters who have a definitive turning point are Sveta and Chris. Chris is almost immediately written out of the story after his turning point. And Sveta actually is really good and I have no notes I think it was really well executed. I love you Sveta.

I'm not even sure where to put Kenzie since her struggles seem to mostly be about changing habits and behaviors rather than identity. She seems like she can easily envision a Kenzie that's better but still Kenzie. And she is super attached to her tech but I haven't read any scenes where it feels like she doesn't feel like herself without her tech. She just feels unwanted which is good writing! I like how Kenzie is written I think it just doesn't tie in to the central theme.

Anyway rant over I maybe will delete this later but this book is driving me bonkers crazy

[nellie-elizabeth]

Grey's Anatomy: She Used to Be Mine (20x07)

Man, Lucas needs to take several seats, I fear.

Cons:

Of all the new intern characters, Lucas is the one on thinnest ice with me. I've done some flip-flopping over this season, because it's not like I don't understand the pain he's experiencing... but he's making his own rough time everybody else's problem in a way that I just don't find sympathetic. Going off on the patient, Dorian's, friends was just... wow. He was projecting hard about something that had nothing to do with him. While I love Yasuda, I also didn't buy the vibe of the two of them bickering like siblings, and this being a comfort to both of them. She's right: Adams moved out, and Simone was the one who invited Kwan to move in. It's not something Adams has the right to be legitimately pissed off about, to be honest!

The Teddy and Owen stuff... come on. Yawn. Any time someone on this show evokes the long history these two have had, I keep thinking back to when I used to like Teddy as a character and it just sort of bums me out. When she was yapping away in the OR with Richard, I was trying to figure out what angle they were going to take, with Owen being kind of "off" with her... was it just that she was being super annoying after being cooped up during recovery? That could be kind of funny, and played for laughs, if it was just a "oh my god, Teddy, get out of the house and hang out with some friends, you're driving me bonkers." But instead it was this thing of Owen being afraid to lose her, because their lives are settled into such complicated routines? I don't know. It just felt lazy and uninspired, and then they immediately had sex about it which we're supposed to celebrate as them coming back together and feeling connected? I don't know. This whole thing didn't do a lot for me.

I also found Jo's decision at the end of the episode, to focus entirely on pediatrics and drop general surgery, to be a little unmotivated? Like, her not catching what was wrong with her pregnant patient wasn't a consequence of her being distracted by general surgery tasks, was it? It felt like she was attentive and asking the right questions and running tests, and the fact that things broke bad and the mother had to have a scary surgery did not feel like it was because Jo had made a mistake. So this felt a little tacked on, to me.

Pros:

By contrast, Simone having a breakdown about it felt entirely motivated and really informed her character's journey for me. She also didn't actually make any major mistake, but she's got the backstory baggage to back up why this would be a really hard thing for her. I loved, loved, loved, the scene with Bailey and Simone at the end, where she switches into this very gentle, mothering mode with her, and doesn't shame her for her reaction of going to get shitfaced at the bar. It's not stated explicitly that there's a racial component to what Bailey is saying, but it's so eloquently described all the same. Patients like the mother who almost died today need doctors like Bailey and Simone. They need them to make sure their pain isn't missed or ignored or downplayed. It was just such a powerful moment, and I really enjoyed it.

While I was annoyed at Lucas, I do like the ongoing story of Dorian, the patient who got shot and is undergoing a long and difficult recovery. We have a focus here not so much on his life being immediately threatened, but on the psychological effects of this long stint in the hospital. I like how seriously Lucas and Yasuda both take the news that he'll have to go back to a restricted diet and have another surgery and all that: it's a significant problem for Dorian's comfort and mental health. I also like that his friends really wanted to help, and yet there's an inherent distance between them after everything Dorian's been through. I want to keep an eye on this plot thread moving forward.

I was just saying that I thought Simone and Kwan were cuter than Kwan and Jules, but then this episode came along to remind me that they really do have a fun spark between them. They have a bet going as to who will complete their checklist of procedures first, and as the day goes on, they keep escalating the consequence for the loser: is it drinks at Joe's, or is it a full fancy meal out at a nice restaurant, or is it sex in a car? Jules offers that up as something she'll have to do if she loses and then... she loses. We see the two of them having a flirty meal together at Joe's, and the sexual tension between them is just about to lead to the aforementioned car sex, when Yasuda comes over and plops down in a chair at the table. I loved the fun flirty comedy of this plot thread. Knowing this show, there's sure to be more drama between them soon, so I was just enjoying this little detour.

Another comedy-ish story: the two women who got in a car accident because they were hooking up in a car and accidentally disengaged the parking break. The plot twist comes when one of the women's husbands comes rushing into the room. He's under the misapprehension that the two women are just friends, and blames his wife's friend for the accident. Eventually, his wife blurts out the truth, that she's having an affair. I actually did feel pretty bad for the husband in this scenario, honestly! He was being kind of a dickhead about his wife's friend, but I think there's the sense that he was picking up a vibe. This woman is always around, and stealing time away from the family. I loved the part where the woman discovers that her terrible headache goes away only when she's yelling, and I also loved it when the other woman was describing the romance, going on and on about how fantastic the sex was.

And finally, I actually really liked Richard and Winston's awkward little subplot. Richard is trying to show his support for Winston, and say he's okay with him pursuing new romantic interests and that he won't be mad on Maggie's behalf. This leads to Winston seemingly bailing on a surgery in order to avoid spending time with Richard, but when he calls him on it and re-states his support, it turns out that Winston just had another surgery run long. So Richard's the one making it into a whole thing! I liked Richard trying to be supportive and a little emotionally vulnerable, and then Winston getting to laugh at him for it a little bit. Good fun! I still have some lingering resentment over the way they handled Maggie and Winston, but I guess I'm glad Winston is still around, if we had to lose Maggie.

That's all for this one! Lucas Adams is on my list right now, he needs to shape up in a big way. But the more we keep the focus on these intern characters, the more this show is truly coming back to life for me. 

7/10

[kochanski]

Promotion

Rimmer/Lister, rated T, no real content warnings to speak of. Pre-accident fic. Rimmer gets a promotion and drives Lister absolutely bonkers. (This is a repost so you can read while AO3 is down/for further archival purposes.)

Dave Lister's life was hell.

Alright, maybe it wasn't hell, but it was pretty damn close now that Rimmer'd actually somehow gone and managed to cheat his way past the engineering exam. Just like that, everything Lister had worked so hard for the past two years was gone. For months he'd been slowly replacing those stupid little newspaper clippings with his own parody versions, and Rimmer hadn't even noticed as he'd shoved everything he owned into a baby-vomit green rolling suitcase, happy as a smegging clam. Now, the cup full of mold Lister'd been painstakingly feeding and watering served no purpose except occasionally giving him pneumonia. 

His new bunkmate was mind-numbingly boring, which was saying something considering Rimmer had an aglet collection. Aglets. As in, the little hard bits at the ends of your shoelaces. Lister hadn't ever even given them a second thought before he'd moved in with Rimmer, and now every time he looked down at his scuffed old boots all he saw was double-punched brass-plated smegging aglets. 

His bunkmate didn't even really have a proper name, because Lister couldn't remember it for the life of him. He was a completely average-looking guy, a little pudgy, with a round face and a mop of dark hair up top that he didn't bother combing in the morning. Well, relative morning. Lister and his roommate worked opposite shifts, so they only ever saw each other two hours a day. That meant there wasn't anyone to complain when Lister brought out his guitar, because good old Fireman Sam was off auditing the fire suppression systems or some such boring thing. 

It also meant Lister had a lot of alone time. Lots of time to think. To ponder how he was wasting his youth slaving away for JMC, how once this tour was over, he wouldn't even have enough saved up for the plane ride to Fiji, how he'd be stuck here for thirty more years if he wanted a decent pension. 

God, Rimmer, look what you've done, he thought bitterly. I could be cutting nipple holes in all your uniform shirts, and instead I'm thinking about me future. He couldn't bring himself to torment the new guy, not when he seemed like a nice enough sort of bloke. Or, at least, mumbled "have a good shift" from the pile of blankets in the bottom bunk as Lister pulled on his boilersuit, which was nicer than anything his previous bunkmate had ever said to him.

The bunkroom stuff was all a bunch of minor gripes, though, compared to what his work life was like now. Because, see, Rimmer wasn't just a technician anymore. He was an engineer. That meant he was bound to turn up right as Lister was finishing up his normal maintenance routine- smacking the vending machine up on five-oh-two with a spanner until it worked- and insist on reprogramming the thing for four hours.

Worst, now that Rimmer was an engineer, it actually meant something when he handed citations up the chain, because Chief Engineer Callaghan didn't tolerate disruptions. Lister thought Rimmer was off his rocker, but after a disciplinary meeting with old Callaghan, he'd learnt a new definition of wrath. So, sure, maybe Rimmer still didn't actually wield any of his own power yet, but as long as he still had his boss backing him up, he had Lister under his thumb.

"Why is it you've got to keep botherin' me, anyway? You can't tell me you get assigned to the exact same machines as me, every day."

"I don't see you every day. Thursday last week, we didn't cross paths at all." Rimmer crossed his arms. "Besides, I'm not the one bothering you. If anything, you're disrupting my work."

"I'm just saying, when it was you and me there weren't any engineers hovering around, towering over us like a giraffe in a goat pen."

"If that's a jab about my neck, Third Technician…" Rimmer clicked his pen with the sort of zeal only a bona fide maintenance engineer could muster. 

"Write me up, Scotty," Lister sighed, not looking forward to the beet red bulldog jowls he was going to have to face tomorrow morning. Smeg, he couldn't even make a joke anymore. Not even a remark. Life was hell. Absolute hell.

---

Friday night was still a night for the boys, and Lister was all set to drown his sorrows in a few pints of lager and a few more pints of lager and one or two after that. If Lister was really lucky, he'd meet a nice girl tonight and Fireman Sam would have the room all to himself. More likely, he'd get sloshed beyond belief and wake up on the floor wedged in Petersen's bosoms again. Whatever else happened, he was certain of one thing: Friday was magic, it was sacred, it was blowing off steam after the horrid week and it was the only soothing ritual he had left, besides cutting up his nudie magazines and making Franken-porn.

"Why the long face?" Chen asked him as he sat down. "Ya look hungover and it ain't even Monday mornin' yet." This earned a collective chuckle from Selby and Petersen.

"It's just work," Lister said. "I don't wanna talk about it, let's get plastered."

That was the thing- when he said that, they all started drinking and carrying on like normal, but Lister couldn't quite enjoy himself. Maybe a few Fridays ago, he'd have been living in the moment, right, not thinking about the consequences, the future being the farthest thing from his mind, but… well, now all he could think about was that Friday was fleeting and in a few hours it would be Saturday, and mere hours after that it would be Monday and he would wake up, get ready, quiet as so not to disturb his bunkmate who'd just gone to bed, and wander the corridors wheeling a heavy trolley until the biggest tool on the ship decided to show up.

"Hello, Listy," someone said in his ear, and he jumped, scared out of his skin that he'd somehow summoned Monday three days ahead of schedule.

"Oh, smeg off." He had to restrain himself from taking a swing at Rimmer's smug grin. "What are you doing here?"

"Well, I don't have exams to prep for anymore, and since I'm not your direct superior, it's no longer unethical for me to come over and have a drink with you, is it?"

"Yer nose is unethical," Selby started, but Lister motioned for him to stop.

"Just don't," he hissed, afraid that angering Rimmer would make things even worse.

"Why?" Petersen asked helpfully in that slow, deep Danish drawl of his. "You like him all of a sudden?"

"No, look-"

"Well, if ya like him so much-" God damnit, Chen. "-how's about you marry him, then?" Guffaws from the whole table.

"Just leave him alone, alright?" He turned to Rimmer. "And, you. Can't you give me one evening of peace? I mean, I have to spend fifty hours every week with you, I'd think that's enough quality time for the both of us."

"Right, but that's work. This is leisure time." Rimmer grabbed a chair from a nearby table where a woman had just gotten up to get peanuts, shoving his way into the group. "So. I imagine you've all heard that I finally made engineer, haven't you?"

"Tell the truth, I thought you died," Selby admitted. "Lister said he got a new bunkmate, so I figured you spaced yourself or pulled a Mad Jonesy and ran off to live on the diesel decks."

"I- no, why would I do either of those things? No, our friend Lister here has completely misrepresented the situation. I passed my exams, became a well-respected engineer, and now I can finally move on to other conquests, like friendship."

"Conquests," Petersen laughed, but Lister's stomach was starting to sink as he realized what was happening.

He was Rimmer's friend. Rimmer's only friend. Rimmer wasn't his friend, but he was Rimmer's. He was the only person Rimmer had probably ever spoken to for more than five minutes who hadn't immediately made an excuse and left the room.

God, he was doomed.

"Rimsy," he said in a strained voice. "Could you an' I take a little timeout for a sec?"

"Oh. Well, I suppose. You haven't properly congratulated me on my promotion, anyway."

"Oh, yeah, Listy," Selby said with his big fat mouth. "Better go congratulate him."

"Congratulate him so good," Petersen added, and Chen's chittering laughter followed.

"Smeg off," Lister snapped, and he headed for the door, not bothering to check if Rimmer followed him out.

"Finally. I don't understand why you spend time with those brutes, Lister. You simply shouldn't put up with that relentless bullying-"

"You know why they're bullying me?" he asked, exasperated. "They're picking on me because of you."

"What? But I'm an engineer now. If anything, that should rocket your social status right to the tippy-top."

"No, exactly. That's what they think is hilarious, that right there."

"That… that I'm an engineer?"

"That you think bein' an engineer suddenly makes you a cool guy," Lister said, exasperated. "No matter what you do, what your rank is, you're always going to be Rimmer. And I know it, and they know it, but you somehow can't get it through your thick head. That's what's hilarious. And now you've decided to hang off me arm like a barnacle with abandonment issues-"

"But- I- But this is the best we've gotten on in years," Rimmer protested, eyes cemented on his shoes. "I genuinely thought it was because you were beginning to respect me."

"It's because if I do anything out of line, you rat on me to Callaghan, and all of a sudden I've got a chief engineer up my arsehole and all my video privileges revoked for six months!"

"I… see." Rimmer took a deep, fluttery breath, the kind you took when you were trying really really hard not to burst into tears in front of your mates. "I suppose I'll see you Monday, then," he mumbled.

"S'pose you will," Lister said, and he stormed off down the hall, not even in the mood to drink his sorrows away.

---

The weekend had been a total bust. Lister hadn't properly blown off any steam whatsoever. Monday morning came around, and he just laid uselessly in bed, listening as the doors whooshed open and Fireman Sam came in.

He undressed in the dark, doing everything quietly so as not to wake Lister, and then snored softly in the bottom bunk. He was so considerate that way- no Esperanto-lessons-while-you-sleep tapes, no practicing his Schalmei horn at odd hours (come on, Lister, it's not any different than your guitar) and no rambling, one-sided conversations that started just as Lister was finally beginning to drift off. If Fireman Sam had been his bunkmate from the beginning, maybe Lister wouldn't have been so sleep-deprived all the time.

Not that it made any difference now. Lister had spent the night tossing and turning, mourning his ruined weekend, hoping beyond hope that somehow he would close his eyes and open them and that the alarm clock would read "SA" instead of "MO."

It wasn't meant to be.

Evidently their little row had gotten Rimmer wound even tighter than he was normally, and Lister had to pay extra attention to what he was doing.

"It's the wrong screwdriver," Rimmer insisted.

"Yeah, the screw's stripped. I have to use the flathead."

"Well, what about the square drive?"

"That's going to make it worse," Lister muttered, but he picked up the square drive and gave it a half-hearted try.

"Come on, Lister. If you can't get this panel cover off, I'm not going to be able to reprogram the temperature controls. Cold showers for the whole floor, Lister, is that what you want?"

"I-" God, he couldn't. "No, sir." He bit his tongue and kept turning the square drive until the center of the screw was completely hollowed out.

"Well, now you've gone and done it," Rimmer scoffed. "Give me the flathead, I'll fix it myself."

"Yes, sir."

"Don't give me cheek, Lister, or I'll write you up. I'm not in the mood."

"All I said was 'yes, sir!'"

"Right, but it's the way you said it. It's about basic decency and respect."

"I am being respectful."

"All I'm saying is, you could say it in a nicer tone, couldn't you? Service with a smile and all?"

Lister was about to burst. Seriously, he might explode right here and now. He wasn't sure what was going to happen next. Either he was going to peel Rimmer's skin off and start eating him alive, or he was going to shove the square drive up his own nose until it reached his brain.

"There we are. See? It's so easy to solve our problems when we use the correct tools, isn't it?"

Thwack.

Lister's knuckles hurt, and he realized too late that he'd punched Rimmer in the face.

"I- Christ, mate, I didn't mean to- I mean- look, you don't have to-"

"Lister," Rimmer said, oddly cool, though his eyes were watering and there was a definite bruise forming on his cheekbone. "Get the first aid kit."

"Y… yes, sir," he said, certain now that he could say goodbye to the next three weekends, at least.

There was something strange about Rimmer today, as evidenced by the fact that he hadn't clicked his pen and damned Lister to thirty-plus hours of janitorial purgatory yet.

"Here's the medical kit," Lister said, unsure what to make of the whole thing. Rimmer shook his head, patting the spot next to him on the floor.

"Sit."

"What, why?"

"You broke it, so you're the one who's going to fix it."

Lister couldn't argue that. Well, he could, but he really didn't want Rimmer to write him up for this. So he sat down cross-legged next to the prick and opened the box.

"I'm not missing any teeth?" Rimmer asked, curling his lips back.

"No, no. I didn't think I hit you hard enough for that."

"You hit me pretty damn hard."

"Yeah. Sorry."

"Oh, come now. You shouldn't apologize unless you mean it, and I know you don't."

"How's that?"

"You hate me. Of course you're not sorry. You hate me just like all the others, maybe more. No- definitely more." Rimmer smiled weakly. "Right, then. Put the ointment on."

Lister handed him the ointment, confused when Rimmer didn't accept it.

"You put it on."

"Rub this on your face?"

"Yes."

"With my hand?"

"Good point. Clean those things first."

"But can't you do this yourself?"

"It's called a power play, Lister. I gave you an order, so do it, or I really will report you for punching a senior officer."

Hm.

Hmm.

Alright.

Lister rubbed some sanitizer over his fingers first, then squeezed some of the topical cream out of its tube. This was the good stuff- he'd used it plenty of times after his own scrapes. Probably, Rimmer would wake up tomorrow morning righter than rain, no soreness, no discoloration. Like it'd never happened. And Lister would still have Friday night.

It was odd, though, smudging paste on Rimmer's swollen cheek, sort of a strangely tender moment. Like they were in the trenches in some old war movie, and he was dressing Rimmer's wounds with the kind of care you reserved for the guy you'd gone through hell with. Nevermind that Rimmer was the hell.

"Excellent," Rimmer murmured when he'd finished. "There's just one more thing I want from you before you pack it up."

"Okay?"

"Kiss it better."

"What?"

"Well, not like that."

"Yeah, an adult man kissing another adult man on the cheek. S'the most heterosexual thing I've heard all week."

"It's meant to be like a mafia kiss. You kiss the ring as- as a show of fealty, you know, a sign of respect."

"But I don't respect you."

"You'll have to, now."

"But if I don't respect you, and I don't mean it, then it's just a gay kiss, isn't it?"

"What sort of logic is that?" Rimmer shook his head. "You're not squirming out of this one. I want you to show me I'm the boss, and it's this or licking the soles of my boots."

Lister considered it very, very, very hard.

"Oh, grow up."

"Fine, I'll give you the smeggin' gay kiss. But in exchange, I want a week off. No threats, no hoverin' over my shoulder, no showing up on my days off."

"You're not in any position to bargain," Rimmer started, but before he could decline the deal Lister put his lips to Rimmer's cheek.

Sure, he could've gone the easy route, given him a second-long peck and been done with it. But this was a prime opportunity to mess with Rimmer, his only opportunity in weeks, and Lister'd been going through withdrawals.

So he lingered a second or two too long, nuzzling Rimmer's cheek with his nose and suppressing a laugh when he felt it go red-hot with embarrassment. 

"How's that for respect?" Lister said softly, still only about a centimeter from Rimmer's massive head. "Prick."

"A week," Rimmer nodded hurriedly. "A week is great. Fine."

---

Those first four days might well have been heaven. Work went smoothly without Rimmer around to sabotage things, and Lister actually finished his tasks ahead of schedule most days, with plenty of time to bum around. When Rimmer did show up, which wasn't often, he was quiet and avoided eye contact. It suited Lister just fine. And that seemed to confirm what he'd suspected- Rimmer didn't actually need to stalk along his route every day, and had been doing it out of either straight up sadism or desperation for social contact.

Lister still couldn't enjoy his Friday night.

To be fair, it had started out fine. The four of them- the boys, him, Chen, Selby and Petersen, terrors of the disco- were on the pull, eager to make up for last week's disappointment. And there was a new face in town, an decent-looking astro surveyor with curly dark hair down to her waist, and Lister had managed to talk her into a dance somehow.

They swayed along to the noise from the speakers- some artificially nostalgic 70s cover of a 40s cover of a song from the 2090s- and Belinda, or Brittany, Berta, whatever it was, wrapped her arms around Lister's neck.

"Thanks for the warm welcome," she smiled, and kissed Lister's cheek, her fingers flitting across the side of his neck.

"I need the toilet," Lister blurted. He tore her hand away and made a run for it, leaving the poor woman standing in the middle of the dance floor, utterly confused and probably a bit insulted.

Goddamn Rimmer. Smegging Rimmer. He couldn't even leave Lister in peace for one week, had to go and ruin something as lovely as a kiss on the cheek.

Yeah, so maybe it was Lister's own fault that the ghost of Rimmer past was haunting him tonight, but that didn't mean he couldn't get mad about it. He stared in the mirror at the lipstick mark on his left cheek. It looked a bit like a bruise.

He wasn't going back to Brenda's tonight, was he.

---

"There," Lister sighed, checking his watch. "The week's officially up. You can torment me again."

"Good, because I've been dying to remind you that you can't use your pliers as a hammer. You'll ruin them that way."

"Fine, so you try fitting a hammer between these supports."

"I'm not going to do your job for you. Just try to hit it at an angle."

"What angle? Me arm's inside the smegging wall!"

Rimmer clicked his pen.

"Alright, alright," Lister muttered, picking up the hammer.

"Alright…?"

"Yes, I heard you, I'm doing it."

"That's not how you speak to your superiors."

"Alright, sir," he grumbled.

"Better." Rimmer hovered closer. "You know, I think you and I could possibly learn to get along. Reach a sort of… common ground."

"What is this about?" Maybe the week of silence had made him lonely.

"No need to sound so suspicious. All I'm asking for is a little cooperation. I scratch your back, you scratch mine."

"Is this more fake mafia nonsense? Are you going through one of your phases?"

"No, Lister, I'm proposing a ceasefire. I'm sure you had a rather restful week, and I'd like to extend that privilege to you again. One more week, in exchange for…" He struggled with the next words, and they came out in a jumble. "Another kiss."

"Hmm." Lister put the hammer down. "Well, I'd be crazy not to take a deal like that. Even if you chargin' a protection fee for a problem you created is mad shady."

"There's a catch." Rimmer stared down at his clipboard, lips tight, toying with the metal clip. Snap. Snap. Snap. "I want it on the mouth this time."

"Ah."

"Of course, one could argue that leveraging my power over you for- for romantic-adjacent means could be taken as unethical. So. If you took this deal, the reports to Callaghan would naturally have to stop for fear that you would report me back."

"Oh, naturally," Lister parroted.

"It would be a stalemate. You and I would be on equal terms again."

"You must be desperate to kiss somebody."

"It's not like that! This is- it's an equalizer, you understand. It's quid pro quo. It's a non-zero-sum situation."

"You must be desperate to kiss me."

"No- it's a- it's a pawn sacrifice in our little battle of wits. It's just to- it's to level the playing field, it's a tactical move-"

Rimmer went on like that for a few more rambling sentences, giving Lister a moment to mull it over.

The prospect of another week was tempting, but more than that… he wanted to take him up on another kiss, didn't he? There was a pretty sizable part of him that got all tingly at the thought of pressing Rimmer against the wall of the corridor, showing him who was boss. That'll teach you, telling me not to ruin my pliers. Mwah. 

At the same time- he'd turned down the opportunity to spend the weekend in bed with a beautiful, smart, funny woman with huge cans. If this continued, Rimmer was probably going to ruin him. Probably had done.

"Well?" Rimmer asked, gripping the clipboard so hard his fingers had turned white.

"Okay," Lister said, against his better judgement. "You've got a deal."

---

Of course as soon as they'd shaken on it, the once-empty corridor had come alive with the bustle of miners and technicians hurrying down the hall on their lunch break.

"Look, come to my quarters after your shift," Rimmer had murmured below the chattering crowd, pressing a scrap of paper into Lister's hand. "I have a single now. Engineers get single rooms." Oh, smegging engineers.

It was a nice room, though, only a little smaller than the one they'd shared. With some amusement, Lister noticed the fake clippings he'd made were sitting in the bin- how long had it taken Rimmer to notice? Although there wasn't a window, there was a nice armchair bolted to the floor near the foot of the bed, which would be perfect for all the pretending to read Rimmer did. There was an angled desk with some nice-looking diagrams of something clipped onto it, which Lister understood absolutely none of. Dots and lines. He realized Rimmer had drawn it after a few moments of squinting- there was that telltale block lettering, almost perfect except for the squashed O's and unfinished R's. Huh. It made a twisted sort of sense that he'd be good at this. Rimmer had always liked taking a ruler to a perfectly good piece of paper and turning it into a schedule from Satan's nightmares.

Other than that, the room wasn't that interesting. Lister had done all the snooping he wanted to do, and twenty minutes later Rimmer was nowhere to be found. And sure, Lister knew Rimmer was a bit of a flake any time he needed to do something that involved even the tiniest bit of bravery. He waited until the last minute to get any of his shore-leave vaccinations, or didn't leave the ship at all. It was just- did he expect to be able to avoid his own bunk forever? Did he expect Lister to give up after a half-hour, go home, and pretend nothing had happened?

Lister laid back on the bed, shoes still on, smudged with grease, and made himself comfortable. Rimmer wasn't going to go back on this, not with a week of total blissful solitude on the line. Lister had no issue waiting it out. Actually… he looked around the room one more time. Like Rimmer'd said, they were equals again. Lister opened two of the pens sitting in a tray at the bottom of the desk and swapped the ink chambers. It was a lame prank, but he knew Rimmer would get disproportionately angry about it when he realized the black was writing in red and vice versa.

There was a hesitant knock on the door, and Lister jumped, diving back onto the bed.

"You- er- you're here," Rimmer gulped as he opened the door. "I halfway expected you wouldn't be."

"It took you long enough to get here. I thought you'd stood me up in your own room."

"They had me working on something down in the diesel decks," Rimmer sighed. "It took me ages to get there and back. To think, I got into this job because I didn't want to commute."

"I thought your dad forced you to sign up."

"It was a joke, Lister, I thought you enjoyed those."

Maybe Rimmer'd forgotten all about their deal, because he sat down in the armchair and took off his boots like it was just a normal day.

"Anyways, you wouldn't believe who I ran into down there. Do you remember that skutter- the one that was a shade of blue different than the others? The mispaint?"

"No way. Thunder's still around?" Lister couldn't contain his smile. "He was my favorite. Always let him bum a cig off me."

"You mean you used it as an ashtray," Rimmer scoffed.

"No, I swear the little bugger smoked 'em!"

"Well, from what I understand, they had to pull it apart to clean all the ashes out. But-" A smile tugged at the corners of Rimmer's mouth. "They didn't end up removing that little lightning bolt you drew on him. It's still there, if a bit chipped."

"You had a fit," Lister reminisced. "Defacing company property an' all."

"Well, it- yes. It's still a punishable offense. But, I don't know, seeing it now was a… moment of reprieve from an otherwise miserable sort of day."

There was a second or two there, Rimmer smiling to himself, where maybe Lister would have kissed him without any strings attached. No- this was still Rimmer, after all. They were only getting along because they'd finally had the opportunity to spend time apart. As soon as the smothering began again, Lister would be back to hating him.

"Let's get this over with," he insisted. "I've got things to do."

"You're so right, Listy. I wouldn't want to keep you from curing cancer or building the galaxy's first quantum engine." Rimmer twirled into the spot next to him on the bed, fingers picking at the seam of his crisp uniform pants. "Get to it, then," he said quietly.

Lister took Rimmer by the chin, tilting his head so that they were face-to-face. It felt uncomfortable. Rimmer clearly had no idea where to look, his eyes flitting from meeting Lister's gaze to his mouth to his forehead.

"Close your eyes, alright?"

"I'll keep them open, if it's all the same."

"That's unnatural. Just close 'em."

"I don't trust you. You're going to do something weird, I just know it."

"Maybe I would normally, but I want a week of peace an' quiet. Close your eyes and relax." Lister put his hands on Rimmer's shoulders, lowering them by a few inches, and Rimmer sighed and squeezed his eyes shut. Much better.

It wasn't as difficult to kiss him as Lister had thought it would be.

Obviously he'd been stuck on the first one for a week, but he thought for sure there'd be some sense of disgust when it happened for real. Rimmer would do something off, and he'd wake up and realize he was snogging the human equivalent of queuing at the post office, and that would be that.

Instead, Rimmer's lips felt like… lips. By some miracle, his hands made their way to the sides of Lister's neck and jaw, and his breath was warm on Lister's cheeks. He knew how to kiss, which was a pleasant surprise, even if it was a little unsteady, and his lips clung to Lister's, alternating top and bottom, softer than expected. He smelled good- kind of sweaty, yeah, considering the belly of the ship could get miserably cold or miserably hot depending on what section you were in. But it was a good smell. Soapy.

Lister hadn't noticed they'd been kissing for so long, too wrapped up in the experience, and he quickly pulled away.

"That's one week," he said. Rimmer had definitely noticed.

"Yes. One week, as promised." Rimmer paused. "Of course, we- we could do it in bulk."

"Bulk?"

"Get another one out of the way, while you're here. I doubt you'll want to come all the way back here again come next Monday, will you?"

"You have a point," Lister agreed. He didn't. He didn't have a point, not really, but at this point any excuse to just stay in this weird warm spot was a good one. "Two weeks."

"Two weeks," Rimmer nodded, and he leaned in.

Lister scooted forward, throwing his arms around Rimmer's neck like they belonged there. Comfortable. Something about this was comfortable.

This kiss was a lot shakier than the last, as though whatever courage Rimmer had plucked up was quickly faltering. That was alright- Lister stroked the soft hairs on the back of his neck, satisfied when Rimmer shuddered. It was so easy. It felt so easy.

"Th- three?" Rimmer stuttered after they'd separated.

"Yeah. Three."

---

It was only eighteen hours into the month and a half Lister'd earned when Rimmer came to bother him again.

"What's this about?" he groaned.

"You know damned well what this is about," Rimmer said, holding up two pens.

"Ah, c'mon, man, you left me alone in the room. You knew the risk."

"I'm not angry," Rimmer lied through his teeth. "I just want you to fix it."

"Can't you do it yourself? You're not holdin' up our agreement."

"I can't, Lister, it's the principle of the thing. You broke it, you fix it."

"Ohhh." Lister put down his tools. "You can't, can you?"

"It's the principle of the thing," Rimmer repeated.

"You're a big bad engineer, and you can't figure out how to take a pen apart."

"Just fix it, alright?" he squeaked, shoving the pens at Lister.

Lister laughed and pulled the ends off, swapping the cartridges easy as anything. 

"Thank you," Rimmer said tersely. "Touch my things again, by the way, and I don't care about our agreement- I can and will disembowel you and use your entrails as a jump rope."

"Sure, Rimmer," Lister smiled. "Anything else you need?"

"I… well, no, that was it. I suppose I should bid you adieu."

"Yeah. Guess you should."

They stood in silence for a moment.

"Actually-" Lister pointed at the mess of wiring inside the junction box. "You're killer at organizing things. You could help me with this mess."

"Well, Lister, I'm a very busy man, and I have a lot on my plate, but… for old time's sake, maybe I could slot it into my schedule."

"Thanks," Lister said, stepping aside and slipping Rimmer a handful of connectors. "So, the travellers are the real problem…"

---

"You seem a lot less depressed." Selby nudged him. "C'mon, don't hold out on us. What's her name?"

"What d'you mean?" Lister laughed. "I can't just be happy for no reason?"

"You?" Chen shook his head. "You're a gloomy fucker in between relationships."

"Ja. You always have this look like a puppy kicked you," Petersen added.

"I think it's 'like a kicked puppy.'"

"I'm happily single," Lister insisted, nursing his pint glass. "Maybe work's gone better than usual."

"So, what? They fired Rimmer?"

"No. We're just- we get on now, y'know?" This line of conversation was really dangerous. Lister doubted the boys cared a lick if he kissed a bloke- it was more the fact that he'd kissed Rimmer that would make him into an instant pariah. Well. Not a pariah, but he'd never hear the last of it, never ever. "Er- yeah, I think us not being stuck together day and night makes it easier not to toss him down an elevator shaft."

"How's bunking with Tillery? I heard he's a total bore."

"Who?" It took Lister a second to realize they were talking about Fireman Sam, and the next second the nickname had sent the group into a fit of laughter.

"That's just perfect!" Chen chittered like a hyena. "Spot on!"

"Look, he's a nice guy. I just don't get to have a lot of-" Lister's eyes caught a figure standing awkwardly in the middle distance. "Ah, hey, I've got to use the head. Watch me beer, yeah?"

"Too much spicy food," Petersen scolded him. "I told you to stay away from those vending machine curries."

"Right, shame on me," Lister said, making a quick escape.

"Rimmer, what are you doing here?"

"Not- I wasn't here to bother you," he said frantically. "I didn't even know you'd be here tonight. I was just- trying something different."

"No, it's good to see you out. I always said you needed to get your nose out of those boring war books and make some friends." Lister gingerly grabbed his elbow, steering him towards an alcove where they'd be less likely to be seen by his group.

"Unsurprisingly, I'm not having any luck in that pursuit. As it turns out, you were right about not many people being impressed by my status." He sighed. "This was sort of a last attempt, before I go back to studying for the astronavigation exam. At least as an officer, I'll command some sort of respect-"

"What? But you're a brilliant engineer."

"I- no I'm not?" Rimmer's confusion was genuine. "You think I'm a good engineer?"

"I've seen those drawings you did. Those were really good, I think. I mean, I didn't know what any of it meant, but it looked good."

"Oh." He looked pale and shaken, like Lister had just told him how he was going to die.

"Anyways-" Lister glanced back towards the table. Petersen had drank his beer pretty much immediately after he'd left. "I should get back to my boys, but… I dunno, I'll see you Monday?"

"Next next Monday," Rimmer nodded.

"Well- yeah, next next Monday." It was what Lister'd earned, after all.

---

It felt like forever until the next time Rimmer asked him for a kiss. At some point, Lister had given in and taken to fantasizing about him- those soft curly hairs on the back of his neck, the way his breath stank of regulation toothpaste, the little tremors in his breath when they pulled apart.

It was the day today, and Lister couldn't help but feel nervous despite himself. There was absolutely a non-zero chance that Rimmer wasn't going to ask him. Maybe he'd changed his mind, or met someone, against all odds. Maybe he would chicken out, like always, and he wouldn't even show up to work.

He did the unthinkable and showered, scrubbing everything clean, brushing his teeth furiously until all he could taste was mint and blood. He put on his least ratty boilersuit, cursing the fact that he hadn't done his laundry in a week.

"Mmrph," Tillery grunted from the bottom bunk as the door slid open, leaching fluorescent light into the dark room.

"Sorry, man," Lister whispered. "You get some rest."

"You look… nice," Rimmer said stiffly. "Surely you didn't gussy up for my sake."

"Have a date tonight," Lister lied on impulse, and he immediately wanted to shoot himself out an airlock for that one.

"Oh." A pause. "So you probably don't want to-"

"No, we can. We can." He set his wire strippers back in the tool cart, giving up the pretense of working. "This floor's kind of deserted, right, I mean- it's just all cargo bays and machinery-"

"So you think you'll just get it all out of the way now, and go about your day." Rimmer was angry! His arms were at his hips, jaw squared, angry, and Lister hadn't realized how much he missed this expression.

"If you don't want to-"

"No, Lister, I do. Let's. Let's go behind the pallets of astronaut diapers. I can't think of any better place to do it."

"Look, if-"

"Come on," Rimmer snapped, and he briskly made his way into the labyrinthine supply stacks. Lister followed, unsure if he'd smegged the whole thing up yet or not.

Bam.

Rimmer grabbed him by the collar, pushing him against a large metal crate, and Lister hated what that did to his downstairs.

"Oh, Rimmer," he sighed, smirking when Rimmer turned bright red.

"You- Just so you're aware, I'm changing the price."

"You what?"

"I think a whole week is too cheap. You're getting far too bold, knowing you can just banish me for months at a time. So-" He loosened his grip, unsure- "One day."

"A day?" Lister tried to seem irritated. "Only a day, for all this?"

"It's- it's just what's fair. I'm not a lowly technician anymore, and I'm re-evaluating myself."

"Alright, well, can we still do it in bulk?"

"Fine."

"Then I'm gonna do a month. Get it out of the way."

"What?" Rimmer froze. "Here?"

"Mhmm," Lister hummed, pulling Rimmer forward by his tie.

The first kiss was electric, brilliant, and Lister could feel all the tension in him release. When Rimmer started to pull away, he tugged the tie again, biting his bottom lip gently. Stay there.

This wasn't going to be a quick process. He was going to keep Rimmer's mouth on his mouth all shift. He was going to get way behind on repairs.

Lister didn't let Rimmer get a word out before the second kiss happened. This time, Rimmer's tongue slipped between his lips, awkward, and their teeth clicked as he pushed Lister back up against the container, and it was sloppy and messy and a little gross and absolutely perfect.

And then the third kiss…

---

Dave Lister was in heaven. Or, close to it.

He didn't mind his job so much. At least, it was sort of satisfying building things, fixing things, and he was good at it. Every Friday night, he went to one of six bars with his boys and got absolutely sloshed. And then, Saturdays. 

Saturdays he spent in Rimmer's fancy single room, because they'd gotten caught a few times kissing in the corridor or in whatever corners they could find, so it was far more practical to just come over to Rimmer's and do it there.

And sometimes he stayed over, and it turned into Sunday.

"Wait," Rimmer said as Lister climbed into his bed one evening. "I don't think we can keep doing this."

"What?"

"Well- we're returning to Earth in a week. I don't want to owe you."

"You won't owe me, Rimmer, if anything you'll be sticking to the agreement. I mean, if you're up here and I'm down there, you won't have any problem avoiding me the whole day." They often had to re-do days or even weeks. It was sort of a flimsy excuse at this point.

"Right, but it's… I don't know. I suppose you're right."

"Hey. Don't look so gloomy."

"It's our last Saturday on the same assignment."

"I'm here now," Lister said, and he earned himself another day, pressed it gently against Rimmer's lips.

"You're still dead set on going back to Liverpool?" Rimmer asked when they separated.

"Yeah. I've been away from home long enough. Four years, and the place is probably all paved over."

"As it should be," Rimmer clucked. "I don't see what's so great about Liverpool. It's a slum compared to Io."

"There's tons to love about it."

"Name one good thing that ever came out of that blasted city."

"The Beatles?"

"Well-" He struggled. "So what? That was two hundred years ago."

"You like me well enough, and I came from there." Lister stroked Rimmer's cheek, delighted when he turned pink.

"A whole town full of Listers." Rimmer made a disgusted face.

"You'd love it. We have trees there, real ones, not like that bio-engineered crap you have on Io. It's historical, too, you could learn all about your world wars and trains and ships and things."

"Historical, how would you know? You've never been in a museum in your life."

"Been to the Beatles museum."

"Oh, of course you have."

"I'm serious," Lister continued. "You'd be happy in Liverpool, you know. I mean, it's a welcoming place. They need maintenance engineers everywhere, and you could get a cute little flat above a shop somewhere, make some friends who aren't half-mad from spaceship fumes…"

"I'd walk down the street and have a panic attack. There's no routine there, you know. People just walk around willy-nilly doing whatever they want."

"Sure there's a routine. It's just not enforced by anyone, y'know, it's like the city breathing in and out. There's real days there, people follow the sun. And I'd be in town. I'd help you figure it out."

"A week to move my entire life from outer space to England isn't enough time," he protested.

"Your entire life is about two lockers worth of stuff. And anyways, you could stay with me at my gran's old place for a couple weeks. I wouldn't mind."

"It's been abandoned for four years. It's probably caved in and full of vermin."

"So help me fix it up. And I'll owe you."

Rimmer leaned in, kissing the corner of Lister's mouth. Twelve hours.

"Lister," he said softly. "What happens when you get off this ship and you aren't stuck with me anymore?"

"I guess you'll be stuck with me instead, then, won't you?"

Rimmer went quiet for a moment, glancing away.

"I… I'll think about it."

They went back to necking without any further discussion.

And as much as Lister loved this new sense of desperation, the way Rimmer dug his fingers hard into his back, the soft moans Rimmer might have usually suppressed, he couldn't help the brick of disappointment that sank heavy to the bottom of his stomach.

---

The shuttle was mostly empty. Really just Lister and Selby. Chen was going to stay on another few days while the ship was docked with that blonde bird he'd been seeing, Petersen was signed up for another tour. 

It had been sad, saying goodbye to this great red beast that had let Lister squirm around in its belly for a whole four years. 

He'd said goodbye to Holly, and the vending machine that always gave him double rations ever since he fixed its intake valve. He'd tried and failed to find Thunder to smoke one last cig together, and settled on leaving a few scattered around the diesel decks where he thought no one would immediately find them.

He'd given Tillery a long, tight hug, much to Tillery's vague confusion, told him he'd been the best bunkmate ever, decided against telling him who'd started the now ship-wide Fireman Sam nickname.

And he hadn't heard anything from Rimmer.

He hadn't heard a single word since two days ago.

And it made sense- Rimmer hated change, and he hated getting jabbed with needles, and he hated the idea of leaving his comfortable, seasonless spaceship, with everything planned out for him for the next decade, down to the hour. He was a coward. And that was fine. Lister hadn't really expected him to change. He hadn't actually thought for more than a minute that Rimmer would run away to Earth with him. But smeg, he couldn't even have said goodbye after they'd been not-dating for a whole year?

"You alright, man?" Selby asked, clapping him on the shoulder.

"Fine. Just- y'know, feeling a bit down leaving this place. Might even be a bit homesick."

"Yeah. It was a good gig."

"It was a good gig," Lister nodded back.

FINAL CALL FOR BOARDING… PLEASE ENSURE ALL CARRY-ON LUGGAGE IS SECURED PROPERLY… the speakers blasted across the docking bay.

"Wait!" someone shrieked from outside.

"Look at that," Selby chuckled, but Lister wasn't in the mood to do anything but sulk. "No, look. Rimmer the engineer's out there, trying to haul around five suitcases."

"What?"

"Yeah! How does he think he's gonna fit all of that in the shuttle?" Selby laughed. "Typical- where are you going?"

Lister had unbuckled already, all-but-diving out the shuttle door.

"Oh, you smegging idiot, you dimwitted bastard of a man," he huffed, grabbing one edge of Rimmer's stupid heavy wooden trunk.

"Sorry," Rimmer wheezed. "The clerk told me I couldn't bring half of this on the shuttle- so- I had to complain at him for twenty minutes-"

"Yeah, they've got a cargo hold! You're s'posed to check this sort of thing!"

"And risk scuffing my father's trunk?" Rimmer said incredulously as they managed to get it across the threshold. Rimmer set down the rolling suitcase, large military backpack, and duffel bag he'd been carrying, and Lister immediately threw his arms around him, squeezing tight.

"You came. I didn't think you were going to come," he murmured into Rimmer's neck.

"I nearly didn't, thanks to the luggage clerk." Rimmer's fingers slid up Lister's back.

"Wait a second! You two- I knew it!" Selby hooted. "Oh, I fuckin' knew it! Oh, Chen owes me fifty dollar-pounds…" His excitement faded as he realized he was about to spend the better part of six hours stuck in a cramped shuttle with them.

The shuttle doors snapped shut and sealed with a hiss, and Lister reluctantly let go of Rimmer, grinning like a madman as he fastened himself back into the chair.

"You'd better be right about this," Rimmer muttered, glancing at Selby, red with embarrassment. "I can't believe I've derailed my entire life and career for you."

"Yeah, horrible decision on your part. But we'll figure it out, together." Lister smiled, sliding his fingers around Rimmer's hand, and in the next moment the shuttle roared to life. "Promise."

[thisliminalspacedaydreams]

For the fanfic writer asks let’s do M A and R for our names lmaooo

Hellouuu

M: What’s the weirdest AU scenario you’ve ever come up with?  Did it turn into a story?

I think TISAYCTM. I've always loooooooveeddd a good soulmate AU. The Star Wars fandom was overflowing with them, there were SO MANY I couldn't even read them all, but god knows I tried. So I really wanted to write my own little version of soulmates AU but I wanted it to be original and not like the other girls.

I've seen the Hanahaki disease trope, the tattoo trope, the sparks fly when you touch trope, the A/B/O trope, and they're all fun and games, but and I wanted it weirder.

I was reading Plato's Symposium at the time, and I love aliens, and it kind of started from there, the idea of having monsters/aliens/humans as soulmates and being separated by Gods because of their power, long ago.

And it just...SNOWBALLED into whatever the hell I'm writing now.

A: Of the fanfic you’ve written, which is your favorite and why?

My fave solo fanfic is Heartless, even though she's full of holes and I'm editing her to all hell as we speak because I see all of her flaws and I want to fix her and make her all pretty.

My non solo fave is currently under works and I hope to god we get to release it at some point because it's been something I've been loving for a year, and we recently started writing it and I think it might become my best duo work, when it's done. I hope so anyway.

R: Which writers (fanfic or otherwise) do you consider the biggest influence on you and your writing?

There are a few fics out there that are written in a way that drive me bananas.

Choices is one. @sophsicle writing was the one to push me into writing fiction again. I think they have such a weird effortless beautiful way with words that cannot be replicated. It's so simple but always somehow packs a punch and I don't know many long stories where all the words are needed and everything matters?

Pledge is another by @ellabesmirched. The writing there is also phenomenal and so different from what I've ever seen. I couldn't believe my eyes as I was reading that fic. I was drawn into the world and the characters and I think there is something about how the intentions are rarely really explained, and it leaves a LOT of room for interpretation for the reader, and I love that stuff. I like not being spoon fed my fics.

Annihilation by had me sobbing because the writing is bonkers???????? and I actually will never recover from this fic. NEVER. The companion fic was just as crazy. This line comes from Apocrypha : The man’s eyes are the sort of incomprehensible color that’s only ever mentioned in descriptions of horrors and God.

I don't know what to say. It's insane writing.

Living in border lines and every work by inthesquare @aboutnavi is so criminally underrated. There's an effortless poetry about her writing that strikes me just the right way.

There are SO. MANY. amazing writers everywhere. In all the fandom spaces I've ever been in, there are at least ten or twenty writers who I think are absolute game-changers. These are just off the top of my mind, but that doesn't diminish other writers' worth.

I think the beauty of fanfic writing is that it's so obviously un-edited and so much less palatable than "mainstream" fiction, which makes finding writers that are original and weird and wonderful much more easy than through mainstream books where books are edited to all hell and (imo) all end up looking the same.

I like the rawness of fanfic.

Yes. Give me your brain movies. That you thought up in your mind. While pretending to care about your 9/5 job.

This ask game

[howtobeamagicalgirl]

The assistant manager at work drives me so fucking BONKERS bc almost every interaction we have is 90% fine and normal, but then she says something that is JUST a little rude in a way that like. HAS to be intentional.

Like, she came into my classroom during lunch and asked if she could get some of our leftover food off the cart, and I said sure bc we all had food and the kids weren't crazy enough about it to eat everything left over, and while she was getting food she asked if the coleslaw was any good and I was like "idk, I'm not eating it."

A response to this, if one was EVEN WARRANTED, could have been like, "Oh, you don't eat coleslaw?" or "well, I'll get some and see for myself" or "ok" and shut up and get your coleslaw and leave. But instead she said, "are you a picky eater Ms. LeeAnn?"

Which immediately puts me in a situation where I have to either confess to being a picky eater or try to convince her that I'm not, both of which are more conversation than I want to be having with the assistant manager when I'm in the middle of talking to better and more interesting people (a table full of half-asleep toddlers covered in snot and drool, with a collective vocabulary of ~50 words). So I just said "I am when it comes to coleslaw," and went back to talking to my gross kids.

And that's like. Every conversation with her. She picks the most inflammatory way to respond to something I say, even if I did not need or want a response, and if I don't do or say anything that she can be rude to me in response to, she looks for something to comment on. "Your classroom is always such a hot mess 😊" "Ms. LeeAnn, you're working harder, not smarter 😉" "It's so funny how you leave these handouts on the podium instead of giving it directly to the parents, as if they're actually going to take them 😆"

Girl what did I ever do to you

[epersonae]

Tagged by @adickaboutspoons - thank you!

Rules: Go to your published works on AO3 and list the first fic you ever published there, the last fic you published, any fic that you wrote for a fandom/ship only once, your favorite fic you wrote in the fandom/ship that has the most works, the fic you wish more people read, the fic you agonized over the most, the fic that sprang fully formed from your mind without any effort, and a work you are proud of—for whatever reason. <3

First fic - A week at a day spa, which is the first fic I ever wrote, and the first time I'd written any fiction in years. It was a bit of an experiment, right before I became completely obsessed with my rarepair. I don't love it, but I don't hate it either. I'd be tempted to take another run at that moment from another direction after everything else I've written.

Last fic - end up several worlds away, the missing scenes companion to for the benefit of all the broken hearts. I just added a chapter with Stede seeing Mary's art for the first time. At the moment, this is my only active WIP; I have a partially written chapter in GDocs that I might work on again soon.

Only fic for a fandom/ship - The dead and the living, my one and only Star Trek (TOS movies) fic. During my time between TAZ and OFMD, I got into a Star Trek Slack and we have done watch parties for a bunch of the movies. somewhere in my head/gdocs I have the start of a long heavy fic about Khan's wife, but this little piece just kind of popped into my head after we watched Star Trek III. I love Carol Marcus a lot.

Favorite fic in the fandom with the most works - Did I really write one hundred and fifty fics for The Adventure Zone????? I sure did. Obviously I have to pick The Reckoning Arrives, which is my longest fic in any fandom, the fic that Ryn and I worked so hard on, the fic that kinda saved my life. But also I was poking through some of my other TAZ fic, and there's actually quite a few of them I still love, but The Woman Who Wasn't There is a fave as far as fics that aren't in my larger continuity. (readers of for the benefit of all the broken hearts will notice a theme about bringing the wife back into the story, which I hadn't really considered until today.)

Fic I wish more people read - another one I found while poking through old TAZ fics: Don't forget to remember. NGL, it's kinda fucked up, but at least it's short? But it's just a tight little story about coping and trauma and memory, and honestly it gave me an outlet at a time when I really needed it. Of my Our Flag Means Death fics: probably the whole devil's threeway series, which is about to be completely decanonized and I'm totally okay with that. I still think I got a vibe that I'm really pleased with and it ended up being the only reunion that I've written, which I think is genuinely funny.

Fic I agonized over the most - for the benefit of all the broken hearts, which I agonized over in so many ways. both in terms of WHAT AM I EVEN WRITING HERE and in the actual work of writing (and the bonkers choice to not name the protagonist in the text), and then in the actual work of editing. I put the most effort into this of literally anything I've ever written in any medium for any purpose.

Fic that sprang fully formed - nice either way, aka the beard fic, which I wrote over the course of a single afternoon driving along the Columbia River Scenic Highway (that was a weird week). Although to be honest, I would say almost any fic less than 1000 words is likely to have sprung fully formed, especially a lot of my earlier TAZ works when I was kind of continuously writing. (Again: 150 works)

A work I'm proud of - it really does have to be for the benefit of all the broken hearts, I worked my ass off on that one and it occupied my whole brain for several months. It was a wild thing to attempt to do, both as a story and as a technical challenge, and I'm so pleased with how it turned out.

Tagging (as always, no pressure but have fun with it!) - @naranjapetrificada, @nekosd43, @gaypiratebrainrot, @mxmollusca, @oatmilktruther, @emi--rose