#everything's falling apart around you so just be a support beam

[drawbauchery]

Ok so heres some headcannons for your au imposter. :>

Although imposter is mainly shown dealing/helping with others im sure he has got some issues Besides recovering from the killing game and trying to be a better person. Ok first thing,imposter tends to serpress his emotions,like he barrys any thoughts he doseint want to deal with in the back on his mind so he doesn't have to deal with it. He doseint unpack his thoughts often like when he said "ill unpack this later" he never did. Ok next,they hate mirrors mainly because they probably hate there real face,i mean there body is one thing theres nothing extremely discernable about it. But there face is different. When ever they look at there face all he sees is an emptyshell of a man they dont remember being. They weren't allowed near mirrors for awile. And last thing, He felt guilty for lieing to them for so long that he often questions why his friends actually like him.

Also i drew some art that matches with this

Im not good with angst so it kinda sucks BUT i hope you like it :)

[hannibals-favourite-meal]

Caught at the last second with Clark Kent?

.⋆｡The Fall｡⋆.

Clark Kent x plus size reader

Faced with a choice between you and Lois, Clark has to decide who lives and who dies

Warnings: angst, fear of heights, literally a life and death situation guys, unrequited love (maybe), vivid imagery of drowning, kind of ambiguous but happy ending (you’ll see) WC: 1.1k

6k Follower Celebration Bingo

Library- @hannibals-favourite-meal-library

“Isn’t this a predicament Superman? Your ex-lover and your best friend in such precarious situations, across the globe from each other. You’ll only have time to save one of them.” The LEDs of the monitors behind Luther seared into Clarks eyes but he refused to look away. Already his muscles were tensed, ready to dart away at any moment. “I wonder which one you will choose, I know which one I would.” 

Luther smirked, eyeing the monitor that clearly displayed your panicked face as you struggled against the chains wrapped tightly around your soft body. “She is quite the fighter, isn’t she?”

“Why are you doing this Luther?” The man rolled his eyes, finally turning to look at Clark.

“Why wouldn’t I? You are a nuisance, self-righteous, and aggravatingly nosy. If I kill one of them, and I will, I think you’ll learn your lesson. So, here we are. Lois Lane, the only woman you have ever loved, suspended over a cliff somewhere in Europe,” Luther gestured to the image of Lois, her head raising as his voice repeated over the feed and Clark realised that they could both hear what was happening, “and your best friend. The woman who has never stopped supporting you, somewhere in the Pacific with an anchor attached to her, I’m sure you can imagine what her fate is.” The man had the audacity to laugh then, as your expression fell and you stopped struggling.

“You don’t have to do this Luther. Just let them go and I’ll spare you.” 

Lex hummed. “You know, you’re right. This is quite boring by my standards, let’s shake it up.” Suddenly, a ground of masked men surrounded you, briefly blocking the camera before there was a scuffle and the feed cut off. Before Clark could react, another camera turned on, showing the criss-crossing metal beams of a crane as cables in the background shifted in the high winds. “Give them a minute, would you? Not all of us can move so quickly.” 

“I’m going to rip you apart, molecule by molecule.” Red creeped into Clark’s vision, slowly casting a haze of rage over everything.

“Now, if you kill me, you won’t get a hint as to where your women are. So be a good boy and watch. Ah, there she is.” Two men had you by your arms as they dragged you through the crane’s walkway, your eyes squeezed shut. Clark knew how badly you hated heights, descending into panic attacks if he even mentioned taking you out on a flight. His chest burned with fear. “And now, we have a level playing field. So, who are we picking?”

Your chains were thrown onto the edge of the structure, almost out of the camera’s line of sight, the huge iron anchor balancing treacherously by your feet. 

“Kal!” His eyes darted over to the second monitor where Lois was now fighting against a pulley that was quickly tugging her towards a sheer cliff face. Only her hands were bound by thick rope but he knew that as soon as her full body weight pulled on it, the rope would snap. 

“What’s the hint?” He snarled, ripping his gaze back to Lex Luther who was now beaming.

——————

The cold wind was like knives against your exposed skin, cutting into every nerve on your body. You desperately prayed that you would go numb soon, not wanting your last moments on this Earth to be ones full of pain. Your nails bit into the palms of your hands as another gust of wind made the crane groan and sway. It was all you could do not to scream.

Yet you kept your mouth firmly shut because you knew that if you said or did anything now, it would only feed into Clark’s guilt. He was going to pick Lois and you wanted to give him peace of mind. You forced your eyes open to watch the sunset. Your death would not be quick, even with the dizzying height, it would not be enough to kill you. Instead, you would be dragged to the depths as salt water filled your lungs and your screams forcefully ripped from you.

You wouldn’t blame Clark as you sank, you hope that you could instead think about his smile as the dim light above you disappeared into the blue.

You would not tell him that you loved him, refused to leave that weight on his soul when he already carried so much pain within him. But you would imagine a life with him, a kid, maybe two in a small townhouse somewhere quiet, as the pressure and cold consumed you. 

Lois’s voice crackled through the intercom by your head, distorted and warped. A band of fear wrapped tightly around your chest, pressing down harder than the metal chain keeping your arms pinned to your sides. You forced yourself to breathe in the salty air, knowing that it could be your last.

“I’ll be ok Clark, don’t worry about me. Just be happy, that’s all I’ve ever wanted for you.” And as the sun dipped below the horizon, you let your eyes shut again, your entire body relaxed. “I’ll be ok.”

Metal scrapped against metal. You were pulled forwards. 

The wind screamed.

You could see the vivid blue of his eyes.

You were weightless.

You could hear his laughter.

The chains rattled.

You saw the moment you met him; the rain around you, a single umbrella between you.

The sound of waves crashing was getting closer. 

He was always so kind, so warm. You never knew a man better than him. 

Gravity slammed into you, knocking a pained cry from your lips. “I’ve got you. I’ve got you.” Warmth enveloped you as something crashed into the ocean, droplets of water splashing against your ankles. Your cheek was pressed against something hard as a loud, frantic beating filled your ears. “You’re safe.”

Soft fabric wrapped around you, soothing the burn of your skin. Shakily, you reached up, your limbs stiff and aching. “Clark?” With all the strength you had left, you opened your eyes.

You were barely 5 feet up front the ocean swell, a hazy ring of bubbles below you was the only indication that something had been dragging you down at all. Clark was indeed there, holding you tightly to his chest as a huge abandoned oil rig loomed behind him, half of it on fire. His eyes were wide, fearfully examining every inch of your body before his shoulders drooped and he sighed in relief.

“No broken bones or internal bleeding. Thank god.” His lips descended onto your forehead, pressing kiss after kiss to your cold skin.

“You picked me?” He pulled away only enough to look into your eyes. 

“I always will.” A hand cupped the back of your neck, drawing your face upwards. Your lips parted as he glanced at them. “I will do anything to keep you safe.”

And as the fires behind him, Clark finally kissed you, washing away the smell of blood and screams of pain that he had inflicted upon those who took you from him. No one would ever hurt you again.

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[twirlyleafs]

Falling apart, alone.

Lando Norris x reader

Summary: The season has been brutal, everyone could see it. Everyone could see Lando struggling. You could see it too, you just didn’t know how to help him when he so clearly didn’t want your help.

TW: bad mental health, anger, helplessness.

Notes: all I want in life is for Lando to be happy ngl I love that boy. Also sorry max <3 ALSO I got an anonymous tip to add summaries so I’m trying that thank u anon!! xx

~~~~

The sun hung low in the sky, illuminating the almost unbelievably blue water and bouncing off the golden cliffs. Your eyes had been caught out the window ever since you got out along the coastline, Lando maneuvering the car along the squiggly road. The blur of golden hues, olive trees and colorful villas had you let out a content sigh.

The break couldn’t have come at a better time. That’s the thought that constantly ran through your mind. This break, a three week break from everything that racing and f1 brought with it, came at the last minute and you couldn’t be more grateful. The season was grueling, both physically and mentally. You’d watched Lando push himself harder than ever, the pride of being on top overshadowed by a desire to do better. You could see how the weight of expectations, both others and his own, dragged him down like an anchor and you felt for him. His smiles had started to falter and the usually bright light in his eyes had been dimmed these past few months, only getting worse with each race weekend. He needed this, time away from the spotlight and the relentless scrutiny from the media. Time to just relax and be reminded that he’s loved, loved and appreciated. Max and P were already waiting for you at the villa you’d rented for the week, a little house tucked into the Italian hills. When Max brought it up as a suggestion you’d immediately accepted, not even giving Lando the chance to decline. Max was his safe space just as much as you were and the more people to support him the better, you thought. You hadn’t told Lando this of course, instead expressing how much you’d always wanted to rent a house on the Italian coast, but some part of you still believed he knew this was mostly for him. For his health.

You glanced over at him in the drivers seat, one hand securely on the steering wheel and the other resting on the console between you. His curls had gotten longer recently, almost dropping down over his eyebrows, and you made a mental note to offer to cut his hair while you were here. If he’d let you. Your heart ached at the tightness of his jaw and you gently reached over to wrap your fingers around his larger ones. Lando immediately glanced over at you, a small smile tugging at his lips as he flipped his hand to intertwine with yours.

“What?” He asked softly. “Why are you staring?”

“Nothing.” You smiled, leaned over to press a gentle kiss against his shoulder. “I’m just excited. We’re almost there, right?” When Lando nodded you let out a soft breath. “I’m happy we’re doing this. It’s going to be so nice.”

“Me too.” Landos smile had grown, although there was a flicker of something else in his eyes. Something somber. He brought your hand over to press a quick series of kisses against it before focusing back on the road, the silence settling in the car again. Just a few minutes later you rolled to a stop outside the villa, the epitome of picturesque with pale stone walls and green shutters surrounded by cypress trees. The front door opened just as you stepped out of the car, both Max and Pietra slipping out with huge smiles on their faces. You beamed as P skipped down the steps, hurrying over to wrap you up in a hug and greeting you with the type of enthusiasm that made you feel welcome and wanted.

“You’re late.” Max teased loudly as he offered you a hug, P moving to lovingly greet Lando.

“We took the longer route, more scenery.” Lando quipped back, backing away as Max approached him. You stopped to watch them, a smile tugging at your lips when you heard Lando let out a laugh as Max grabbed him in a playful headlock. Maxs laugh was louder, ruffling Landos hair before he finally managed to wrangle himself free. Watching them you felt a flicker off hope. If Max could pull a laugh from Lando after thirty seconds, maybe a week together would really do Lando some good.

The first few days in the villa passed in a haze of slow mornings and lazy afternoons, the four of you enjoying the quiet and each other’s company. Lando and Max made it a routine to take a morning run together while you and P prepared breakfast, all of you eating together on the patio when they got back. The breakfasts usually went on way onto midday, time not really being an issue for any of you. It felt like the rest of the world was on pause and you had all the time in the world. You would catch Lando smiling, the kind that actually reached his eyes and made you believe he might actually be doing better. But those moments didn’t last. It was the small things; the way his gaze would drift during conversations or the way he picked at his own cuticles until he started bleeding. He laughed and joked like normal but there was an edge to it, almost forced, and if you and Max and Pietra hadn’t known him as well as you did you never would’ve noticed. You also noticed how often he’d excuse himself for a few moments, disappearing under the guise of checking emails or answering calls. One evening the four of you were gathered in the living room, Lando absentmindedly rubbing circles on your back as you handed out the cards for the upcoming round of poker. The game started lighthearted enough, Maxs usual trash talk and both you and P calling him out when he tried to cheat. Lando made a rare mistake and before he could think Max called him out for it, teasing him about being off his game. You could see the way Landos jaw tightened, a flicker of something darker flashing across his face before he forced a strained smile. A comment like that was normal, usually nothing anyone reacted to, but it obviously got under his skin tonight and once again the worry settled in your stomach. That night, laying in bed together, you reached out to gently run your fingers through his curls. Lando hummed, opening one eye to glance at you.

”You okay?” The careful question had him pressing his eyes shut again, offering a nod.

”Yeah, of course. Just tired. Are you?” You knew he wasn’t but you didn’t want to push, didn’t know how he’d react, so you just mirrored his nod before shuffling closer. Lando wrapped you up in his arms, pressing a soft kiss against the top of your head.

The days went on like that, a wobbly line between worry and relaxation, until one evening. You and P were already sprawled out on the couch, tucked under a blanket each as you scrolled through the different streaming services.

”Im telling you, the parent trap is a classic.” Pietra declared, reaching over to grab her glass of wine. You couldn’t help but roll your eyes.

”It’s a classic you’ve already made us watch like three times.” She laughed at that, nudging you back after you softly kicked her. As you continued bickering over the movie for the night low voices could be heard from the kitchen. Max and Lando had been there for a while, preparing the snacks, but from where you sat in the living room you didn’t notice the tension brewing.

Lando stood with his back against the counter, his jaw tight as he watched Max lean against the opposite side of the kitchen island. Max’s brows were furrowed in worry while Landos eyes were dark, angry.

”Im not saying you have to quit.” Max spoke in a low voice, laced with concern. ”I’m just saying, maybe it’s worth it to consider it? Or at least a break, before things get worse.”

”I don’t need a break.” Lando let out a bitter scoff, shaking his head. ”And I’m definitely not quitting. I just need to push through.”

”Push through what? This season? Next? For how long? You’re exhausted Lando, we can all see it. You’re not sleeping, barely eating-”

”You’re exaggerating. Im fine.”

”You’re not!” Max’s voice rose, the frustration he felt breaking through. ”You’re not fine Lan, stop saying that.”

”You’re acting like I’m about to fall apart Max, it’s not that-”

”Not about to.” Max interrupted him, words hard and snappy. ”You are falling apart. I can see it, I know what that looks like. I’ve been there, you know I have. You think I don’t recognize the signs?” Lando visibly stiffened, hands gripping the counter behind him roughly enough to turn his knuckles white. He was quiet for a moment before speaking again, voice laced with venom.

”This isn’t like that Max. It’s not the same.”

”Isn’t it?” His voice cracked slightly as Max stared at his best friend. ”I know it’s hard to admit that you’re struggling Lando, especially when you’re under as much pressure as you are but please, you have to let us help you. If you keep going like this-“

”Just because you couldn’t handle it doesn’t mean I can’t.” The words cut through the room like a knife, Max flinching as if he actually got cut. Silence settled in the kitchen, save for the faint hum of the refrigerator and the distant giggles from you and P out in the living room. When Max stayed silent Lando felt the need to speak again, although his words had lost their harshness. ”I’m not you.”

”No, you’re not.” Max nodded, voice steady but clearly hurt. ”But you’re not that different. You’re not invincible Lando and pretending you are…it’s only going to make things worse.”

”I don’t need a lecture. I am fine, even if you don’t believe it. I’m handling it.”

”Handling it? You call this handling it?” Landos face flushed as Max raised his voice again. ”Snapping at me, shutting out your girlfriend, acting like you don’t have a care in the world-”

”You don’t know what you’re talking about.” Lando interrupted, his own voice getting louder too. 
”I know exactly what I’m talking about!” Max shot back, his frustration spilling over. ”I’ve fucking been where you are, I know what it’s like to feel like you can’t afford to stop, like the weight of it all is going to crush you if you admit you need help but come on Lando, snap the fuck out of it. This, what you’re doing now, its self-destruction.” The words hung in the air, heavy and raw. For a moment Landos expression faltered, the anger on his face shifting into somethings else, maybe fear, but just as quickly he masked it again. With a shake of his head he turned his gaze away, crossing his arms over his chest. Max realized he wouldn’t be able to break through Landos walls, not tonight, and with a resigned sigh he stepped back. His lips parted, as if he wanted to say something, but shook his head instead before walking out. Both yours and Pietras heads snapped up as he walked past the living room, having heard the last couple of sentences exchanged between the two men. When Max’s gaze found your worried one he simply shrugged his shoulders.

”What-” you began, not finding the words.

”I don’t know. I tried, I really did but he doesn’t want help.”

When you slowly entered the kitchen a few minutes later Lando was still standing tensely, bracing himself against the counter. He didn’t look up when you entered and the tension radiating of him was almost scary. When you softly spoke his name, taking a step closer, he flinched.

”Don’t.” His voice was sharp enough to make you pause. Swallowing harshly you forced yourself to stay calm, your voice to stay soft.

”I just want to talk.”

”Well I don’t.” He finally lifted his face, glaring at you. The anger in his eyes should’ve made you back down but the unshed tears glossing them had your heart aching instead. ”I don’t need you telling me what to do too.”

”No one is trying to tell you what to do Lando. We’re just worried about you, you’re not doing well-”

”Worried about me. Right. What did Max say to you? That I’m losing it? That I need to quit?”

”No,” you argued, frowning. ”No Max didn’t say anything to me but we’ve all seen you these past months, not to talk about these last days. We’re all-”

”Worried! Yeah I fucking get it.” Your eyes widened as he raised his voice, not being used to him speaking to you like this. ”You’re all looking at me like I’m fucking crazy but I’m not. I don’t need your help, I don’t want your help, so just fuck off for a while and let me deal with it.” You stared at him, heart slowly cracking open. He was unraveling infront of you and you didn’t know what to do, how to help him, and you felt like the worst girlfriend in the world. The worst friend. His words stung, sure, but you didn’t really have time to think about how he hurt you when all you could think about was getting through to him.

”I just want you to be okay, Lando.” Your words were mere whispers, broken by the amount of concern and sadness you felt. Landos eyes flickered away, the veins in his neck popping as he clenched his jaw. For a moment you had hope he might say something, anything, but he stayed silent. You felt your throat tighten, the tears pressing behind your eyes, and you realized you didn’t have anything else to say. Nothing that he would listen to anyway. Instead you whispered how much you loved him before turning and walking away. The living room felt colder when you returned, the sympathetic expression on Pietras face as you sunk down in the couch enough for the tears to start flowing. As you curled up against P your thoughts swirled in a chaotic mess. You felt helpless, as if no matter how hard you tried it was never enough to reach him. He was slipping further and further away and you didn’t know how to pull him back. Maybe it wasn’t just him, you thought, maybe it was you. You replayed the moment in the kitchen, voice soft as you tried to get through to him only for his anger to snap back at you. You’d never seen him like that, so defensive, and it had left you shaken. But more than that, it left you questioning yourself. How could you stand there and call yourself his girlfriend when you couldn’t even get him to listen to you? What were you doing wrong? You wanted to be his anchor, his support, the person who helped him shoulder the weight he carried. But right now, it felt like everything you did only pushed him further away. Now, with P’s arms around you, unsuccessfully shielding you from the cold reality of the evening, you couldn’t stop the creeping sense of failure.

”I don’t know what to do.” You whispered, shoulders shaking with sobs. Pietra and Max exchanged glances over your head, somber expressions on their faces. Neither did they.

[orshii]

Did I cross the line?

➼Author: orshii

➼Pairing: Kim Hongjoong x female reader

➼Word count: 4 k

➼Summary: On Valentine's Day in Paris, a romantic trip with your boyfriend, takes a painful turn when unresolved feelings about his ex-girlfriend, who was once your best friend, resurface. Despite the love between you, the past threatens to tear you apart. Through heartfelt conversations, you confront your insecurities and reaffirm your commitment, realizing that to move forward, you must leave the past behind.

➼A/N: Well...here I am again with a Hongjoong drabble, and this little something was born because of Billie Eilish's new song. And it was completely inspired by it, so please please, listen to the song and pay attention to the lyrics so you will understand the story more. I just love it, it's such a beautiful song and I can't get it out of my mind...just as well Hongjoong haha...Anyway, I am not sure this is what I wanted, but this happened so enjoy! Byee...--also, sorry for any mistakes :'(... (divider)

Things fall apart, and time breaks your heart, but it also heals your soul, allowing you to feel like a normal human on this chaotic Earth. It's much harder when you're alone, but if you find someone who is always by your side and supports you unconditionally, you become unstoppable. Nothing can come your way when they are next to you and cheering for you on the side to chase your dreams. When you find the mate of your soul, you think nothing can stop you from now on.

Except... sometimes, despite everything, you grow farther apart because of a tiny reason, turning what was once promising into something that couldn’t bloom or burn with passion.

This is the reason why I am crying in a hotel room in Paris, the city of love on Valentine’s Day, with my heart broken into thousands of pieces. How ironic life can be. It's the day of love and I'm in the city of love, yet I never felt more disappointed in love ever. The broken pieces of my heart are cutting me from the inside, I want to scream from the pain, but I have never been quieter in my life, my voice got lost between the sharp pieces of my heart.

Our trip to the city of love started like a cliché straight from a romantic movie. We decided with my boyfriend, Hongjoong, that we were going to travel to Paris for a little break, as we both needed it, we were overwhelmed with work, and we barely saw each other. And Valentine's Day was a perfect excuse for both of us, to celebrate our love, that just started to bloom. Our relationship began six months ago, and it was a maze until we finally understood each other and found our way through the dark, complicated labyrinth of each other's hearts.

We wandered around the city with our hands interlaced, never letting go for even a minute. We felt locked together, forever. Throughout the day we visited a lot of museums and the typical sights of Paris, that being the Louvre and the Eiffel Tower. When the both of us were on top of the Eiffel Tower, the wind was so strong up there, that we could barely see the city down there. The air was chilly, as it was mid-winter. The clouds were gone, and the snow had already melted away, leaving behind only the cold.

I stared at Hongjoong, my hair in my face, giggling as he took pictures of me. The photos came out blurry but full of happiness. The sun that slowly approached its lowest spread an orange blanket over the city, lighting it with all shades of orange. I looked next to me, where Hongjoong was smiling. I saw him in slow-motion, as he was looking down at the orange city, the sun's beams lighting his beautifully shaped face, his jawline sharp, his cheekbones high, his eyes in the shape of a crescent moon as he was smiling. The wind blew very slightly on his brown hair alongside his elegant black clothes.

And his smile... that was why I fell in love with him so deeply that I couldn't escape. His smile was so perfect and wide, full of humanity, with sincerity that immediately caught me off-guard because I didn't believe in the fact, that perfect humans on this Earth existed. But as soon as I saw him, I knew it was just a lie, because with time every human being finds their perfect mate for their soul, no matter if someone sees them as imperfect. For you, they are always going to be perfect.

After coming down from the tower, we wanted to do one last thing: put a padlock on the famous bridge where people place padlocks to symbolize their love, as the saying goes, 'Lasts until forever'. And as it was Valentine's Day and we were in the city of love, to make it cheesier we bought a red padlock to put it on the bridge.

"So did you enjoy yourself today?" Hongjoong asked looking at me with his adoringly beautiful smile, as we were walking towards the bridge.

"This was the happiest day of my life Hongjoong." I looked at him with loving eyes, tears almost appearing in my eyes as I was very overwhelmed by the fact of how much I loved him. "Thank you."

"Come here, my little bun." He pulled me by my hand that was interlaced with his and hugged me strongly I felt like he might break my bones, as we were at the end of the bridge. He pecked the top of my head and slowly separated from me, leaving little distance between us, just to cup my face into his warm hand. Chills ran through my body as I felt his warm hand on my cold and red face, he immediately warmed me up with only one slight touch.

"I love to see you happy." He said his voice a little childish as he was saying it adorably. He tugged my hair behind my air. "I'm happy if you are too."

"You are too cheesy, what happened to you?" I looked at him suspiciously.

He chuckled at that. "You happened; I can't help it." He slowly leaned closer to me and slightly pecked my lips with his. Then he looked at me and smiled like I was the only human being on Earth.

"So, it's my fault?" I whispered onto his lips, that still hovered over mine.

"Yes, it is." His eyes were on my lips, as he whispered the words sweetly.

Then he closed the distance again between our lips and kissed me more passionately, putting his heart into the kiss, giving it to me so I could keep it safely in my imaginary safe made out of unbreakable metal, but sometimes that metal can get infected and it can crack and that hurts. As I kissed him back my lips slowly moving against his, the world was gone around us, and I did the same with my heart, giving it to him, so he could keep my heart wherever he wanted to. I hoped our hearts belonged to the other and no one else.

"Let's put that silly padlock on." He said as we separated from the kiss, caressing my cold cheeks.

I just nodded and took his hand to lead him through the bridge's middle.

"It's nice to be back in here." He said as we were looking around, observing the padlocks people already left there.

"Have you been here before?" I asked him surprised with a frown.

Suddenly his expression changed, as we stopped in the middle of the bridge, people around us walking and smiling, the sky had already gone dark, and only the street lights showed the way.

"Well…yes." He scratched the back of his head, averting my eyes.

"I didn't know, when?" He acted strange all of a sudden and I didn’t know why.

"Last year—with… Hana." He slowly looked up, to see my reaction.

I gulped and my heart started to race quickly as I heard her name. I really wanted to stay calm it wasn't the time to argue again as he knew it was an uncomfortable topic between us.

I nodded barely visible. "I see…" I looked down on my hands. "And did you like—were here?" My voice came out strange, it lost its power as I pointed at the padlocks.

"Y—yes," Hongjoong said noticing as my expression changed very quickly. He stepped closer to me to hold my hands. I just looked down at our hands and then at the padlocks. "But it was in the past and you know it, Y/N. I want to do this with you." He reached his hands towards my face, but before he could touch it, I stopped him.

"Well, I don't want to anymore." My voice came out serious, my face looked hurt and disappointed. I stepped back, putting distance between us.

"C'mon, Y/N. You can't be serious." He stepped closer to me and I stepped back again on that. He scoffed at that. "Why can't you put it all behind you? It was a long time ago."

"Because she's everywhere I go, Hongjoong, anything I do with you has to do something with her." Tears started to well up in my eyes.

"It's not, you just made it up here," He pointed at his temple."…because you can't get over it, Y/N." He seemed upset as his voice got more serious.

I scoffed at that in disbelief. "So, now you think I'm crazy?"

It is very unpredictable how everything can change from heaven to hell.

"No, you are not crazy, but you definitely can't let go of the past and be in the present…with me." Hongjoong said running his fingers through his brown short hair.

"What can I do, when all the time I see her face, everywhere." I lifted my arms helplessly. "In our daily life, in our home…in your eyes." One tear slowly escaped my left eye.

"When will you understand she is nothing to me now?" He stepped closer to me, disappointment showing on his face. "When will you understand you are my everything? That I love you and no one else." His voice got lower, weaker.

"I know that you love me, you don't need to remind me like it's an obligation." I looked at him already feeling so far away from him.

Hongjoong scoffed at that. "What are you talking about?"

"You always sound like you have to assure me you love me." I looked down at the ground, where our shadows melted into each other. I just wanted to hide from him. "I am sure you love me. But…it's just a feeling I can't shake."

"You have no idea what are you talking about. Can't you get that you are my fucking world Y/N?" I felt as he stared at me with deadly eyes, growing more furious.

Stressed, I ran my fingers through my hair, tears streaming down my face. "But you aren't mine," I barely said out loud, knowing he could hear me.

I couldn't see his expression as he stood there in silence for a moment.

"You think so?" he asked, his voice calmer.

I just nodded, unable to look up.

He chuckled and came closer to me, his breath close to my face. "So, let's make it fair, then. Shall we?" His voice was like a threat. Then he grabbed the padlock from my hand and threw it away into the water. I stared at him, my eyes wide in shock. "I wanted to make you happy, to do cheesy things like this. But if you can't understand, let's just stop."

"I never wanted to fight," I mumbled.

"But we always do, Y/N." He lifted his eyebrows as he looked at me, disappointed. "It wasn't like this before."

"What do you mean?" I asked him, confused.

"I mean, when we started, it was nice. We were happy, no arguing. But you kept looking into my past and everything changed." He looked into my eyes, tired of the arguments.

"Because she was always there in the back of my mind." I sniffled and wiped away a tear.

"She isn't now. But you can't see it." He shook his head slightly. 

"Honestly…I don't know if I can be with someone who can't let go of the past…" I snapped my head up at that, his face was nothing but serious without any emotions. My heart started to race more quickly than before.

"Hongjoong…" I stepped closer to him with regret on my face.

"No." Now he was the one who stepped back, and my heart started to crack. "I am tired of this, you have to let go of our past and be present completely, not only with half of your heart." He said those words like it was venom and it flew right into my lungs poisoning it so I couldn't breathe anymore.

"We will talk when you finally manage to do that." He put his hands into his pockets and just passed by me like we suddenly became two strangers, leaving me there on the bridge where we could've locked our love forever, he left me with a heart suddenly broken into millions of pieces.

Did I cross the line?

The thing is Hana was Hongjoong's ex-girlfriend and my best friend.

My best friend and Hongjoong got together three years ago and broke up last summer. And it wasn't particularly because of me, well I played a little part in that as well, but they just always argued about little annoying things and I was the one who reconciled them. I'm not sure when it happened, but the more I was hanging out with my best friend and her boyfriend the more I felt something wasn't right. I started to feel something towards Hongjoong and I knew it wasn’t right so I quickly buried it deep down into my soul, so no one would know it.

I watched them through these years when they were arguing and when they hated each other, but they always made up at the end of the day and everyone was happy.

Not until one day, Hongjoong found out Hana cheated on him. That day was a disaster because the more time I spent with Hongjoong, the closer I grew to him. I considered him a friend and liked him. I could talk about things with him, that I didn’t even tell my best friend. It was hard to take sides, to be honest, it was cruel of my best friend but at the same time she was my best friend and I needed to be by her side. She was crying on my shoulder even though she fucked all of this up. Slowly, Hongjoong walked out of our lives, and it didn't feel right for some reason. Not seeing him every day, not knowing what he was doing, made my heart ache for some reason and I was so confused.

Not until July.

We accidentally ended up at the same event connected to our work and started talking. We talked, but like we just met, like we didn't know each other before like Hana didn't even exist. I felt guilty of course but sometimes people have to be selfish, for their own sake. We had a deep connection with Hongjoong and I didn't want to let it go. I just couldn't.

From then on, we grew closer to each other, and got to know each other. And one night, Hana saw us, of course, I didn't tell her about Hongjoong, that we were talking. And of course, the universe loved us and Hana saw us exactly that summer night when Hongjoong kissed me for the first time. When he kissed me, I felt like I was finally complete, like I found the missing piece of my lost soul. But when I saw Hana's face, my soul immediately burnt into specks of dust.

Until then, all I could see was her face when he saw us, the hatred in her eyes, that I could understand. I haven't see her since then, but she lives in my head rent-free. I hated myself because this was the cruelest thing a best friend could do. But I stayed selfish and chose Hongjoong because he made me happy and made me feel alive.

And now I fucked up everything because I can't get through our past. What happened is happened, but when he touches me all I can think of is how she felt, I always compare myself to her.

As I was standing on the bridge and trying to somehow organize my thoughts, I just started to walk in the city that was full of couples and happy people. The city was alive, restaurants were open, and people were celebrating, and laughing together. Yet, I was there walking past them with my eyes crying out, slowly losing myself in the dark. When I passed by a lucky charm seller, the old lady beckoned me to go there. I frowned as I slowly approached her.

"My daughter, you look sad, did somebody break your heart?" She asked me putting his hands on my shoulders.

I nodded tears appearing in my eyes again. "But… it was my fault…so I deserve it." My voice came out weak.

"No one deserves a broken heart, sweet girl." She slowly wiped off my tears. "These lucky charms will tell you what to do, I am sure." She pointed at the little papers with green trefoils on them.

I just shrugged, I didn't believe in these things, but at least I could make someone happy by buying one. I chose one randomly and paid for it, thanking the lady.

"And don’t forget, sometimes before loving someone else, we have to learn how to love and how to receive it." She smiled at me and let me keep going.

I put the lucky charm in my pocket, not even bothering to read it, and walked forward without any destination. All I could think about was Hongjoong and how much I fucked up. It was a perfect day…why did I have to fuck it up? As I walked next to the river my palm was itching in my pocket so I stopped to read the paper. I slowly opened the decorated paper.

"I fell in love with you because you loved me when I couldn't love myself.

 And then you realize it was all real."

I read the lines with my heart slowly warming up and pumping quicker. I never believed in things like these, but these lines hit me hard in the chest just so I could realize how stupid I was, how stupid I was to think Hongjoong didn't love me. I mentally face-palmed myself and tried to stop myself from jumping straight into the cold river and turned around just to run back to our hotel, hoping Hongjoong was going to be there.

Hongjoong wasn't there and he will never come back. He will never come back, because I made myself believe he had anything to do with Hana and that he always compared me to her. But the truth is I compared myself to her and it made my brain a fool, so I believed every cruel thing it whispered to me.

I collapsed on the bed, hugged myself and here I was, crying my soul out with a broken heart, on Valentine's Day, in the city of love.

Hours or just minutes passed by, and I lost track of time when I heard the door closing. I opened my eyes quickly; I was facing the door to our room laying on my right side. Hongjoong slowly stepped inside and took off his winter coat his eyes on me the whole time. I couldn't tell what was he thinking.

I sat up as he approached me and sat on the bed, just to cup my cried-out face into his, now cold, hands.

He leaned his forehead against mine as he whispered. "Oh, my little bun. You make my heart break, seeing you like this."

Probably I looked like hell, my eyes red, my cheeks puffy, my make-up smashed from crying. 

I slowly held his wrists that cupped my face. "Hongjoong I—" Tears found their way out again; I didn't understand how I hadn't dried out by now. I started to sob.

"I'm sorry, my love, I shouldn't have talked to you like that." He hugged me, his fingers running through my hair, trying to calm me down.

I slowly lifted my head from his chest. "No, you were right, Hongjoong." Words could finally leave my mouth. "I was living in the past, that hurt me, but at the same time healed me…you healed me. I was so broken, but you managed to glue together the pieces of me. But this Hana thing just hunted me and I couldn't run away it’s like she cursed me just so I could feel his revenge." I looked down at my hands sniffing.

Then I looked into his eyes and the mate of my soul looked at me like I was the most vulnerable creature on Earth. And that was the moment I got reassured about everything.

"I'm so sorry for making you feel like it was all your fault when it was just my fucked-up mind. You are my everything Hongjoong, and I couldn't spend even a minute without you in my life. Please, don't leave me…" My tears flew down my cheeks endlessly.

He sighed and slowly reached for my hands, holding them like a treasure. "You are a fool if you think it is an obligation for me to say I love you. I say it because I mean it with all my heart, and to let you know that Hana is in the past you know I never really loved her. Not like I love you. You are my partner in life, my future and I never want to let you go." He wiped my tears away as his eyes watered and a little teardrop escaped his eye. I immediately wiped it away, not wanting to see him cry because of me. Ever.

"I love you so-so much!" I whispered weakly as I cupped his face.

"I love you endlessly, bun." He smiled at me adoringly, his smile that cured everything inside me and his lips on mine that slowly put the broken pieces of my heart into its place, my heart being whole again, in one piece, just so I could give it to him, into his hands to do whatever he wanted to it, because I just belonged to him and he belonged to me.

He kissed me slowly, like never before, his soft lips moving along mine leaving a sweet taste behind. I slowly crawled into his lap, straddling his thighs. His hands found their place on my waist like they belonged there and squeezed it like he never wanted to let me go. Our kiss got more hotter as I parted my lips letting his tongue inside, discovering every hidden place of my mouth, like he wanted to taste every inch of me. My hands crawled into his hair squeezing it as a moan left his mouth. His hands slowly got their way under my clothes, running his fingers up and down my back, like he couldn't get enough of me.

"You are so beautiful, Y/N." He whispered onto my lips between hot kisses. He looked at me like he couldn't believe his eyes. "You are my beautiful girl." His lips traced over mine as he firmly bit my lower lip.

I chuckled at that, as he quickly flipped us over and he hovered above me, supporting himself with his hands on both sides of my head and he just looked at me. I got impatient and quickly lifted my head so I could kiss him, but he pushed me back to the bed and kissed me harshly, my body felt hot, and I felt like I could burn alive.

Everywhere he touched me burned my skin down to my bones. But I didn’t care because I knew he was the love of my life, that one person who was always beside me and supported me no matter what. The past needs to be locked in the past and the present needs to be lived just so I can build a strong future alongside the emotions I feel, alongside Hongjoong, now, on Valentine's Day and in the city of love, Paris.

[khaylin27]

Down Bad

pairing: daniel ricciardo x reader

series: the tortured poets department

synopsis: daniel's childhood best friend, y/n l/n, has always been by his side no matter what. over time she started developing feelings for the driver but it was one sided love.

warnings: one sided love, mentions of depression and suicide

author's note: i knew this song was for daniel because of the tiktok edits of this song with him 😭 hope y'all enjoy!

Did you really beam me up? In a cloud of sparkling dust Just to do experiments on Tell me I was the chosen one

You and Daniel grew up living next to each other in Perth, Australia. Your parents were close with Daniel's so it was obvious you two would be close. Your family would spend weekends supporting Daniel in his karting and Formula 3 days.

Once Daniel got into Formula 1, he would invite you to races. You would always say yes because he was your best friend and you had feelings for him. Of course he didn't know because you didn't want to distract him from getting a World Champion title.

Every time you were invited to a race, Daniel would take you to F1 events. He would beam you up as his girl friend. Not the girl he was dating but a girl that he's been childhood friends with.

It hurt you so much when he would tell people you were just friends. You wanted to be more but you didn't want to distract him from getting a World Champion title. You were in a cloud of sparkling dust as you ignored the questions people asked about you two.

"Hey Y/N," Daniel calls your name. You were currently watching the mechanics fix Daniel's car. "Do you mind if I hold you like this?" Daniel puts your back on his chest as he wraps his arms around your waist.

You blush by this interaction. Daniel has never been this close to you before. "What are you doing Daniel?" You giggle to hide your blushed cheeks.

"Just doing an experiment on you." He smiles at you while the cameras are on you. Daniel then kisses you on the cheek. "You're the chosen one." He whispers in your ear so the media couldn't hear what he was saying. You laugh at his whisper while he continues holding you like this.

Show me that this world is bigger than us Then sent me back where I came from For a moment I knew cosmic love

Later that day, Daniel won the Monaco Grand Prix. He was so happy about winning that he ran up to you and kissed you before going on the podium. You were happy at the moment because your best friend had won and kissed you. That high of happiest ended when Daniel did his post-race interviews.

"So Daniel, we saw that you kissed your best friend before going onto the podium. Are you and Y/N finally dating?" The interviewer asks Daniel.

Daniel smiles before he answers back to the interview. "Great question," He laughs and continues. "No we're not. It just felt right in the moment. She's my best friend and will always be that. She's always supported me through my F1 career and my passion to win a World Championship."

At the moment your whole world came crumbling down. It showed you that F1 and him winning a World Championship was bigger than your relationship with Daniel.

After the post-race interviews were over, Daniel went to his driver room to change into normal clothes. He then sees that you're crying. "Why are you crying Y/N?"

"You know you're a big jerk Daniel." More tears start falling as you continue to explain. "This whole weekend you've been playing with my feelings and I was thought you were trying to imply that you have the same feelings I do. But then you embarrass me to the whole world saying we're just friends."

Daniel watches you as tears continue to fall down your face. He didn't apologize or even comfort you. Instead he changes and leaves the room to head to his Monaco apartment. That night you decided to fly back home not wanting to celebrate with Daniel after his Monaco win.

For a moment you knew cosmic love, but it ended you being sent back to where you came from.

Now I'm down bad crying at the gym Everything comes out teenage petulance "What if I can't have him" "I might just die, it would make no difference."

ynfan @/yourusername posted an instagram story earlier today at the gym with taylor swift lyrics as the caption. she hasn't posted since daniel publicly embarrassed her by kissing her before stating in an interview that y/n was "just a friend."

user1 the taylor swift lyrics 💔

user2 SHE WAS SO DOWN BAD FOR DANIEL 😭

user3 is teenage petulance shading daniel for his insolent behavior during the monaco gp weekend?

user4 i think she did. daniel was publicly being affectionate to her this weekend to then saying she was "just a friend." friends don't do that to each other.

****

After the Monaco Grand Prix weekend, you've been hitting the gym nonstop. You would listen to Taylor Swift songs and cry while running on the treadmill. Once you got home to your Melbourne apartment, your mom called you to see how you were feeling.

"How are you feeling Y/N?" she asks while you were cooking lunch for yourself.

"I feel like I'm dying," You tell your mom with all honesty. "I've always supported Daniel even when I started developing feelings for him. I hoped that maybe he would feel that same way one day. But not having him in my life makes me want to die. It would make no difference." You start crying as you express your feelings to your mom.

"I wish I could hug you right now Y/N." The flight from Perth to Melbourne was 3 1/2 hours. "Your father and I hate seeing you get hurt by Daniel. We all thought you two would fall in love."

Down bad, waking up in blood Staring at the sky, come back and pick me up What if I can't have us. I might just not get up, I might stay

A couple hours later, you woke up from a nap to a nasty blood bath in the media.

f1news DANIEL RICCIARDO CONFIRMS HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH CHILDHOOD FRIEND Y/N: During the Canadian GP weekend, the Australian driver was asked about Y/N. Her absence in the paddock has been noticed since the driver wasn't happy throughout the weekend. Ricciardo says "Y/N and I are not on speaking terms at the moment. I guess what I did really hurt her." The driver says with no remorse.

user1 who wouldn't be hurt if their childhood friend/crush just friend zones you while playing with your feelings?

user2 daniel please fix this 😭 i need you and y/n to be together again 🙏

user3 was monaco gp the last we'll ever see y/niel 😢 it didn't seem like he wanted to fix what he did.

user4 what if we don't get y/niel ever again 💔

****

After seeing that instagram post, you didn't feel like getting up. Daniel had no remorse for what he said to the press. You stayed on your bed the rest of the night crying over Daniel.

Did you take all my old clothes? Just to leave me here naked and alone In a field in my same old town That somehow seems so hollow now

Since your weekends were already reserved for when Daniel had races, you decided to fly back and forth to Perth to visit family. Every time you land in Perth it gelt like Daniel had taken your clothes. The old you. You felt naked and alone because you and Daniel would always come home together.

As you walk around the fields your parents owned. It felt so hollow without Daniel. You two would always walk around your parents' fields talking about the future. Daniel would talk about him winning multiple World Championships while you talked about starting a family with a certain man. He didn't know but that certain man was Daniel.

I loved your hostile takeovers Encounters closer and closer All your indecent exposures How dare you say that it's -

Coming back to Perth overtime became easy for you. It didn't bring you sorrow anymore instead it brought you happiness from all the memories you made with Daniel.

Every time you would go swimming in the ocean, it would bring you closer and closer to the memories you had with Daniel. All the times Daniel had some accidental indecent exposures. You two would laugh when someone saw Daniel being 'indecent.'

It felt wrong to say that it's over. But you were finally healing from the one sided love you had for Daniel.

I'll build you a fort on some planet Where they can all understand it How dare you think it's romantic Leaving me safe and stranded

yourusername I'll build you a fort on some planet Where they can all understand it 🇦🇺🌊🦘

user1 MOTHER WHAT DOES THIS MEAN!?

yourfriend are you in perth? since when!?

yourusername yes i am ☺️ i reserved weekends a while back for other things but i ended up back home! yourfriend we need to hang out soon! we have lots of tea to catch up on. yourusername of course 💗

danielricciardo you look so romantic 😍

user2 how the hell do you think it's romantic leaving y/n stranded for months!? you haven't publicly apologized for your behavior to y/n. user3 and he seems like the person who wouldn't apologize privately as well.

Down bad (Like I lost my twin)

What if I can't have him (I'm done bad)

yourusername down bad like i lost my twin

taylorswift you're better off without him now

yourusername that's right @/taylorswift 😌🩶

user1 MOTHER CHOSE VIOLENCE TODAY

user2 they were my endgame 😓

user3 it's truly over when mother agrees with mother tay 😭

Down bad (Waving at the ship) What if I can't have him

danielricciardo down bad, waving at the ship - archives venice 2022

user1 DANIEL CHOSE VIOLENCE AS WELL

user2 we all know this archives post was an excuse to post y/n

user3 HOW CAN YOU POST Y/N BUT NOT EVEN APOLOGIZE TO HER!?!?

user4 god i hate men 🙄

tagged: @omgsuperstarg @splaterparty0-0 @2pagenumb @c-losur3

[eveninggstar]

my kink is karma ⊹ ࣪ ˖

charles leclerc x singer!ex!reader, unspecified driver x singer!reader

24.07.24

୨ৎIt's been six months since you and Charles broke up in April. Since he kicked you out, his team's performance has noticeably declined. Despite the breakup, you've kept up with the races and are often seen watching them. Some of Charles's fans have labelled you as jealous or worse, but in reality, you simply find satisfaction in seeing Charles fail after he proved to be an inadequate boyfriend. So much so you would joke its your kink.

୨ৎ back a page ୨ৎ back two pages

pretend monaco gp was in april, not may lol also the timeline is all over dont mind it lol (this isnt one of my best fanfics)

The roar of the crowd was deafening as Charles crossed the finish line, claiming victory at the Monaco Grand Prix. You stood by the sidelines, your heart swelling with pride as he emerged from his car, triumphant and glowing with sweat and adrenaline. As the celebrations unfolded, you finally found a moment alone with him in his driver’s room.

"Congratulations, Charlie!" you beamed, wrapping your arms around him. "What are we going to do to celebrate tonight?"

His expression shifted from joy to irritation in a heartbeat. He pulled away from your embrace, running a hand through his tousled hair. "I just want a moment alone," he snapped, his voice low but sharp.

The words stung, and you took a step back, trying to hide your hurt. "What do you mean?"

He sighed heavily, avoiding your gaze. "You're always around, always asking for attention. It's like you’re trying to piggyback off my success to boost your own career."

Your breath caught in your throat. "That's not true, Charles. I’m just proud of you and want to support you."

"Well, it doesn’t feel that way," he said, his tone colder than the champagne being sprayed on the podium. "You're annoying, and I need some space."

Tears pricked at your eyes, but you blinked them away, refusing to let them fall. "Fine. I'll give you space." You brushed some loose hair behind your ear. "I’ll see you at home, I guess."

The following Tuesday, the apartment you shared felt colder than usual. Charles had been distant since the race, and you could sense something was wrong. As you walked into the living room, you found him waiting, his expression unreadable.

"We need to talk," he said, his voice devoid of emotion.

Your heart sank. "What’s going on?"

"I think it’s best if we go our separate ways," he said bluntly. "This isn’t working anymore."

You felt a lump form in your throat. "Charles, please, can we talk about this?"

He shook his head. "No. I’ve made up my mind. I want you to move out."

Tears finally broke free, streaming down your face. "But where will I go?"

"That's not my problem," he said, turning away from you. "You have until the end of today to pack your things."

With those final, cold words, he walked out of the room, leaving you standing there, shattered and alone in the apartment you had once called home together.

The days following the breakup were some of the darkest you’d ever known. You found refuge at your parents' home, which once felt warm and inviting and a good idea to bring Charles to, but now felt hollow and cold. Even when he ditched you, he couldn’t help but ruin something you held so dear. But instead of succumbing to despair, you channelled your emotions into your music. Late nights found you in your makeshift home studio/childhood bedroom, writing and recording songs that poured out your heartache, frustration, and eventual acceptance.

You released your music under an alias, wanting the work to stand on its own and not attract the flood of F1 fans wanting to see how you were after the "golden boy" broke everything off. To your surprise, the songs quickly gained traction. The raw emotion and honesty resonated with listeners, and your music began to blow up. The overwhelming support and success of your songs helped you heal. You started to feel happier and more fulfilled, finding strength in your own achievements. And it had only been a week!

One day, you decided it was time to reveal yourself. You posted a video on social media, explaining the journey behind your music and how it helped you through the toughest period of your life. The response was overwhelmingly positive, with fans praising your bravery and authenticity.

Meanwhile, Charles's career took a downturn after his Monaco win and the breakup. Ferrari’s performance in the following races was abysmal, plagued by mechanical failures and strategic errors. His frustration was evident, both on and off the track.

In a desperate attempt to distract himself and perhaps regain some control, Charles decided to change his appearance. During an interview, he was asked about the patchy, orange highlights in his hair.

“I thought a change might do me some good,” he said, running a hand through his hair and forcing a smile. “But clearly, it didn’t turn out the way I planned.” He sensibly decided to wear a hat until his mother was free to fix it, yet she had very little free time that lined up with his busy schedule.

Maybe karma was real, and it was his turn.

The Canadian Grand Prix was a disaster for Charles. During the race, a miscalculation led to a devastating crash. The car spun out of control, smashing into the barriers. The crowd gasped, and the cameras quickly cut to the chaotic scene. Fortunately, he was unharmed, but the crash marked a low point in his career.

As the medics rushed to Charles’s side, the camera panned over the crowd. There you were, sitting in the stands with your sunglasses on, watching the scene unfold. A slight smile played on your lips—not out of malice, but as a quiet acknowledgment of how far you had come since that painful breakup. You had found your path and your peace, and seeing Charles now, it was clear you were better off.

As Charles struggled with his racing career, his personal life took a turn that left many puzzled. He began dating a string of significantly younger women, each relationship seemingly lasting no more than two weeks. The media and fans noticed the pattern, and speculation ran rampant. It seemed like Charles was desperately searching for something—or perhaps someone—to fill the void.

Meanwhile, your career continued to flourish. You were seen at a variety of high-profile events: fashion shows, music festivals, charity galas, and, yes, occasionally at races. Your rising fame meant your presence was increasingly noted, and the public couldn’t help but draw connections between your appearances and Charles’s chaotic love life.

Some of Charles’s more fervent fans took to social media to voice their opinions, accusing you of being jealous of his new girlfriends and of Charles himself. They claimed you were trying to stay in the spotlight by being seen in the same places he frequented. The reality, however, was far from their accusations; your success had brought you to these venues on your own merit.

One evening, you attended a high-profile charity gala. Dressed in an elegant gown, you mingled with other artists, philanthropists, and celebrities. The event was buzzing with excitement, but the atmosphere shifted when Charles arrived with his latest girlfriend, an 18-year-old model. Whispers spread through the crowd, and cameras clicked furiously as the couple made their entrance.

You found yourself near the press line when Charles and his date approached. Despite the awkwardness, you struggled to hold back your laughter, it coming out as a quick snigger. Charles’s eyes briefly met yours, and there was a flash of something—regret, maybe, or recognition of how much had changed. Your reaction caught the lingering eyes of another driver who was present at the same gala.

Later that evening, you were approached by a group of Charles’s fans when a different driver had so graciously offered to walk you home. Their faces were a mix of anger and curiosity. “Why are you always around?” one of them demanded. “Are you still hung up on Charles?”

You took a deep breath, maintaining your calm demeanor. “I’m here for my career,” you said evenly. “Just like everyone else. My presence here has nothing to do with Charles.” You turned to look at the man holding your hand. "Charles is the least of my concern." After you said his name wrong in front of these die-hard fans, their faces morphed into more disgust (if possible).

It had been another tough race weekend for Charles. His frustrations were evident not only on the track but also during the post-race interviews. Sitting down with a popular motorsports journalist, he was asked about the ongoing challenges with his team and his personal life.

"Charles, it's been a rough season for you. How are you coping with all the changes, both professionally and personally?" the journalist inquired, genuinely concerned.

Charles shifted in his seat, a hint of irritation flashing in his eyes. "Yeah, it's been tough. The car isn't performing as well as we hoped, and there have been a lot of distractions off the track too."

The journalist nodded, sensing an opportunity to dig deeper. "Speaking of off-track distractions, there's been a lot of media attention on your former partner. She's been seen with another driver quite frequently. Any thoughts on that?"

Charles's jaw tightened, and he forced a smile. "I think it's interesting how some people move on quickly and find comfort in familiar circles. It’s almost like they’re trying to stay relevant by associating with those still in the spotlight."

The journalist raised an eyebrow, clearly intrigued. "Are you suggesting that she's using this new connection to boost her own profile?"

Charles shrugged nonchalantly. "I'm just saying it's curious. I focus on my career and my performance. If others choose to spend their time differently, that's their prerogative."

The comments made by Charles quickly spread across social media and the news, stirring up a storm of speculation and opinions. Fans and analysts dissected his words, trying to decipher whether he was shading you and the other driver you had been seen with.

You had indeed been seen frequently with another driver, but it wasn't anyone's business, especially Charles's, if you "moved on too quick." Both of you had bonded over shared interests and the mutual understanding of life in the spotlight. The growing relationship had been a source of comfort and support for you, but now it was being dragged into the media circus.

Despite the media frenzy, you continued to thrive. Your music career soared, and your public appearances were met with admiration and respect. The relationship with the other driver remained a positive influence, untainted by the rumors and insinuations.

As for Charles, his comments eventually faded from the headlines, overshadowed by the ongoing drama and excitement of the racing season. The world continued to watch, always eager for the next twist in the tale, but you had found your peace and your path, no longer defined by someone else's shadow.

Please don’t steal my work, much love ᡣ𐭩

if this is your first time reading one of my fics i promise i can write better (i genuinely feel as if this was a flop) also if you saw this before i deleted the first version and had it copied twice no you didn’t

taglist: (comment if you wanna be added)

𝄃𝄃𝄂𝄂𝄀𝄁𝄃𝄂𝄂𝄃 eveninggstar

[albertasunrise]

Hope for Forgiveness - Hope

Masterlist

Summary: After Joel loses his wife and your best friend during childbirth. You support him as he takes on parenthood on his own at 22. But when feelings start to develop, you battle with the guilt you feel for falling for your best friend’s husband.

Relationships: Joel Miller x Reader

Warnings: Like AO3 I choose to give none. Read at own risk. 18+… this is to avoid spoilers! (Wow... the last chapter got so much love and I am so happy y'all are enjoying this ♥️)

Series Masterlist - Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5

11 years earlier... 

Joel still couldn't quite believe how you'd managed to pull this off. His house was decorated head to toe in tacky decorations in his favourite colour. His kitchen table was smothered in delicious smelling food and the couch was full of presents. 

"Happy Birthday buddy." Alec said sweetly as he gave Joel's arm a friendly pat "If you hate this... It was all her idea I swear." 

Joel chuckled at Alec's statement before wandering over to you "Thank you." He said sweetly as he gave you a hug and pecked your cheek "Didn't think I'd be doing much for my birthday this year with Sarah n' all." 

"Well, it's a good thing I'm back for a bit." Said Tommy as he wandered into the room with Sarah sleeping soundly on his shoulder "Got someone to babysit." 

"Shut the front door." Joel chuffed as he strode towards his brother to hug him, careful not to wake Sarah. 

"Where's Noah?" He asked upon noticing the little boy wasn't around. 

"My parents are down for a few days so he's getting some quality grandparent time." Alec replied as he pulled you into a sideways hug, beaming at Joel as the man started to eye up all the presents on his couch "You gonna open them or just stare at them?" 

Joel chuckled before sitting on his armchair whilst you excitedly handed him presents. He received a new jacket from Alec after complaining to the man that he had was worn out, and a pager from Tommy. Ali's parents had sent him some of his favourite Canadian snacks and a year's supply of maple syrup. There were a few presents from some friends and colleagues that ranged from beer to accessories for his guitars. 

Your present was last. 

"Finally, this one from me." You said sweetly as you handed him a small, rectangular shaped box. 

"You got him Jewellery?" Tommy teased "Your man's stood right here!" 

Joel opened the box to reveal a watch and his eyes widened. He had spotted the watch in the window of a jeweller one day and commented to you that he liked it. The price had been extravagant but with a little one at home to focus on he didn't feel like he could justify buying himself such a luxury. 

"I don't know what to say." He said as he looked at you with misty eyes "I can't believe you got this for me." 

"I thought you deserved something nice after everything that's happened." You said sweetly as you shrugged off his statement "Maybe now you'll arrive on time for things." You teased as you gave him a friendly nudge.

"Thank you." He said sweetly as he smiled at you and you felt your heart squeeze at the look he gave you "This is... It's perfect." 

"You're welcome, Miller." You replied finally before returning to Alec's side. 

Present day... 

Joel stared at the watch on his wrist as he remembered that day fondly. Its face was smashed from the accident and no longer worked but he'd refused to take it off. It was all he had left of you and despite everything that had happened after the accident, he'd never been able to let you go. 

He had never blamed you for what had happened. For how you had drifted apart. 

He had been the one driving and so it was his fault that Alec had ended up paralysed. If only he had said no to driving. Things would have been so different. He stared at the picture of the four of you and the kids. How happy you and Alec looked together. He had hated how he couldn't hate the man. He had been the kindest, most genuine person, other than yourself, that Joel had ever met. There hadn't been a selfish bone in the man's body and it genuinely hurt to learn that he no longer graced the earth with his presence. 

He normally loved Saturdays. He often had nothing to do. Sarah had soccer practice and then Tommy took her for dinner after. It was their day together and Joel loved that the little girl had such a strong relationship with her uncle. At 12 she was such a mature young woman. Forced to grow up a little too fast which Joel felt guilty about but the girl never held it against him. Her mother would have been so proud of her. 

This Saturday, however, he hated. His solitude and the fact that you were back had him dwelling on pains he had long since buried. He hated knowing that you hated him. That you were back and that he couldn't just call you and ask if you wanted to meet for a coffee. 

After two hours of moping over things he couldn't change he decided to do something constructive. Jumping into his van, he headed to the supermarket. He had his list in hand as he scaled the aisles. Throwing his and Sarah's favourites into his trolly and ticking them off as he went. He looked up in an attempt to spot the next thing on his list only to freeze on the spot. 

There you were. Eyes wide as you stared at him from the other end of the aisle. 

He lifted his hand to wave but before he got a chance you looked away and scarpered. His heart squeezed in his chest as he watched you retreat. Even after all these years, you couldn't stand to be around him but then, he couldn't really blame you. He'd ruined your life. 

... 

You scolded yourself for running but the moment you'd locked eyes with him, you thought your heart was going to beat out of your chest. He had looked good. Time had been kind to him. He's grown his hair out a little and adorned a scruffy beard that suited him. He looked so ruggedly handsome. 

Noah had been off with you since learning that he had known his new friend Sarah since she'd been a baby. He'd also hated how you'd hurt Joel and you couldn't blame him for that either. You'd spent the last decade hating yourself for that too. He must hate you. 

You were a coward. You just couldn't face him. 

If only you knew that he didn't hate you. That he never had. 

10 years earlier... 

Tommy sat at his brother's bedside and waited for him to open his eyes. He had managed to get special leave to fly back to be with his brother who had woken up from his month and a half long coma the night before. He had gone to yours first, assuming you had been taking care of Sarah whilst Joel was in the hospital. When someone else answered the door he knew something had happened. 

His next stop had been Joel's house. Ali's parents had greeted him. Both looked run down and exhausted but they caught him up with what they knew. Which was very little. 

Joel had collapsed almost as soon as he'd stepped out of the taxi that had driven him home. The driver had then quickly lifted him back into the car and had driven him to the hospital. It had been pure luck that the hospital had managed to find their number and they had been on the first flight over. 

Now he found himself clutching his older brother's hand, waiting for him to open his eyes again. He wasn't waiting too long. Joel woke up a little over half an hour after he'd arrived. Joel was slow to come around. It was a good hour before he was even remotely aware of his surroundings. Doctors and nurses came to check on him before leaving Tommy to sit with his brother once again. 

Your name slipped from Joel's lips as he rolled his head to face his younger brother "Has she brought Sarah by?" He asked and Tommy felt his anger towards you swell. 

"Sarah's not with her." He answered and Joel's brows pulled together in confusion. 

"Who's she with?" He asked and Tommy sighed. 

"She's with Ali's parents." He answered "The hospital managed to get hold of them and they flew out." 

"But where's-"

Your name fell from Tommy's lips in a sour tone "She and Alec have moved away." He interrupted "Went by their house and different people were living there. They moved a month ago." 

"Oh..." Joel trialled off as his eyes drifted away from his brother and locked on something across from him. 

"Joel, what happened with you guys? When I left they were taking care of you and then I learned that you'd collapsed on your front lawn and I-" 

"She threw me out." Joel replied and Tommy stilled "Don't blame her... She hates me for what happened." Joel continued as a few tears slipped down his cheeks "It's all my fault..."

"Joel, none of this is your fault." Tommy replied but he knew that he wouldn't convince Joel. 

He hated how you'd made Joel feel. Hated that you had thrown him out when he was vulnerable and still recovering from brain surgery. He vowed then and there that if you ever came back... he'd make sure you regretted your decision to turf his brother out in his hour of need. 

He would never forgive you for this. 

Present day... 

It had been two weeks since your run-in with Joel in the supermarket. Noah continued to avoid you. He spent most days with Sarah and you were glad that he had found her again. You were sure from the moment they'd been introduced that they were soulmates. Ali hadn't seemed to really notice the difference in her brother. She spent much of her time decorating her cast or reading her latest book. 

Your solitude made you miss your husband. Despite his condition, he had remained upbeat in the 10 years that followed the accident. He hadn't let his condition get him down and you had always respected him for that. Things had been hard. His ever fluctuating health had affected your relationship in a multitude of ways but you'd continued to love each other until the very end. 

Despite losing touch with Joel and Tommy, you had kept hold of the memories that you'd made together. Photos dotted the house of your short time together. Alec had always talked about what a shame it was that you'd all lost touch. 

You'd never had the heart to tell him that it was your fault that had happened. 

Noah came through the front door pulling you from your thoughts and you smiled at him as hung his coat and up and headed for the stairs. 

"How was Sarah?" You asked, trying desperately to get him to just talk to you. 

"She was good." He replied simply, hanging his pack on the bannister and deciding to head into the kitchen to grab a snack. 

"That's good." You replied softly as you watched him putter around "You and he are spending a lot of time together." 

"Yeah... She's pretty amazing." He replied with a shrug "I guess I shouldn't be surprised we get on so well seeing as we knew each other as babies." He scoffed as he washed the glass he'd just used.

"Noah I'm...I'm sorry I wasn't honest with you." You sighed "What happened to your dad was tough. I was pregnant and facing raising you and your sister with him in a completely different way than how I'd pictured." 

"So you needed someone to blame for that?" He scoffed as he turned to face you "Blame a guy that had just gone through brain surgery and had almost died." 

"It's complicated..." You trailed off and Noah scoffed "My hormones were all over the place and... Your father was paralysed... He was never going to walk again and then Joel was just walking around and I just resented him for that." 

"He didn't deserve that mum." He growled and you nodded your head. 

"You're right, he didn't." You agreed "But I can't change the past." 

"You're right." He piped up and you looked up at him, knowing he had more to say "But perhaps you can change things now." 

"I don't know Noah... I hurt him pretty badly back then and I-"

"Sarah's my girlfriend." Noah interrupted, stopping you in your tracks "So you are eventually going to have to talk to him again mum." 

"Your girlfriend?" You all but squeaked and Noah smiled at you "Since when?" 

"Today, actually." He replied with a shrug "We get on so well and she's so pretty. I know she's a little younger than me but-"

"She's not even two years younger than you Noah, nothing wrong with that." 

"Well anyway. We kinda kissed today and lunch." He smiled as he remembered the moment "We were eating under the tree by the soccer field and she was reading to me and I just looked at her. She looked so pretty and I just went for it." 

You smiled as he regaled his tale to you. You knew that it was only a matter of time for the two of them. They were like kindred spirits. Separated due to circumstances out of their control but fate felt it right to reunite them again. 

And you were glad of it. 

"I would really like it if you and Joel could work stuff out, Mum." Noah pleaded "I really like Sarah and I want it to work but I don't want my girlfriend's parents to hate each other." 

"Does Sarah know?" You asked and he shook his head "As much as I hate lying to her I didn't think it was my place to tell her that we knew each other as kids." He stated plainly "That's down to you and Joel to tell her." 

You nodded. Relieved that he hadn't outed you to her. 

You wanted to fix things between you and Joel but you feared it had been too long to do so. After learning that you'd upped and left whilst Joel had been in hospital fighting for his life a second time had been eating away at you for days. You had thrown Joel out when he'd clearly been unwell and the more you'd thought about it the more obvious it had been. He's not been eating. His headaches had been frequent and had appeared to be increasing in intensity as the days had gone on. 

But you had been too caught up in your own problems to see that he was taking a nose dive... And you hated yourself for it. 

"Okay." You said softly as you smiled at your son

"Really?" 

"You give Joel my number and tell him I'd like to meet and talk." You said softly "Leave the ball in his court." 

"Thank you." Noah sighed as he hugged you tightly and you choked back a sob at the affectionate action. 

"Anything for you my boy." You whispered softly as you kissed the crown of his head. 

Joel finished placing the tacos he'd made on the table. Noah coming to Tacco Tuesday had become a regular thing. Now though, as well as talk about school and updates, it was filled with sweet smiles and hand-holding between the two young loves. 

Joel knew he should hate the fact that his 12-year-old daughter had a boyfriend but Noah was a good boy. He had felt like they were destined from the moment he first played with her on her playmat. They were two puzzle pieces that fitted together so perfectly. So he couldn't really hate their relationship. When dinner was done, Sarah excused herself to use the facilities and Noah knew this was his chance. 

"Joel." He piped up and the man looked at him from the sink where he'd just placed the last of the dishes "There was something I wanted to talk to you about." 

Joel gave him a bemused look but nodded, coming back to the table and sitting with Noah as he eyed the lounge for any sign of Sarah. 

"I know that you, my mum and dad used to be close. That I've known Sarah since she and I were babies." He started and Joel's head shot back in surprise "I also know that you were driving the car when my dad had his accident and that you almost died." He continued "My mum asked me to give you her number. She would like to meet and talk to you about things. Try and lay ghosts to rest and everything." 

"Why now?" Joel asked, his head tilting to the side as he waited for Noah to answer.

"She's always regretted the way things turned out." The boy continued and Joel's brows pulled tighter "She saw your brother a few weeks ago and he told her about how you almost died after she sent you away. She wants to make things right." 

Joel nodded. Thinking over what Noah had just told him. 

"Your mother blames me for what happened to your dad." He said after a few minutes of tense silence "Are you sure she wants to talk to me?" 

Noah nodded and Joel sighed. 

"Okay, give me her number and I'll call her." Noah grinned at this response before pulling out one of your cards and sliding it across the table to the man. 

"Thank you." He said sweetly and Joel returned it. 

That following Saturday found Joel sitting in the cafe you'd sent him the address of. He fiddled with the mug in his hand as he watched the door. You'd text him to say you'd gotten stuck in traffic but you would be there soon so he had taken that as a chance to have a coffee and calm his nerves. 

The bell dinging above the door caught his attention and he looked up and caught eyes with you. His heart froze as you both looked at each other a moment before you found your feet again and walked towards him. He could breathe when you stopped on the other side of the table, a small smile gracing your lips. 

"Hi." You said softly as you smiled a little wider at him but he couldn't speak "Been a long time." 

He still couldn't say a word. 

"I missed you." 

Next

For updates follow @albertasunrise-ficsblog

[taesanrot]

[found you] sungchan x f!reader | 1.4k words same warnings as the last part, a little more angst, implied weed consumption note. thank u guys sm for the support on the first part! to be added to the taglist for found you just comment or send an ask! final part will be out soon! one two three

"let's go." the words fell out of your mouth faster than you could blink. all you could see was sungchan's beaming smile. you could barely look him in the eye when the two of you were more than arm's length away from each other, you wondered how you'd survive the next few hours.

the two of you walked side by side, conversing about anything and everything: sungchan's family, your schoolwork, eunseok's sleep talking. you hid your laughter behind your hand as sungchan recalled the time eunseok somehow managed to fall asleep on the toilet, sungchan smiled as you told him about your friends', chaewon and yunjin, disastrous third roommate and the messes she left for them.

the wind tickled your skin and you involuntarily shivered and crossed your arms tightly, hoping to preserve your body heat. sungchan looked at you for half a second before shrugging off his jacket and draping it over your shoulders. he hoped to god you couldn't hear how fast his heart was beating or feel the way his hands shook as he dropped the jacket on your frame.

"sungchan i can't-" you started, halting in your steps and turning to look at the taller boy. "it's okay, i have extra layers" sungchan retaliated as he gestured at the long sleeve he was wearing. "you need it y/n, please." you felt your cheeks burn and were suddenly thankful for the lack of light shading your reddened face. you smiled at sungchan and nodded. "okay, can you hold this for a second? i wanna put my arms in the sleeves." you chuckled as sungchan happily grabbed your tote bag and slung it around his arm.

sliding your arms into the boy's zip up, you felt his warmth encase you immediately. your stomach flipped for what had to have been the twentieth time that evening. the jacket was so baggy on you and sungchan could've sworn he almost fainted at the sight. you two continued walking towards your destination, sungchan refusing to give your bag back and insisting on holding onto it for you. he felt his heart race at the whole situation at hand, moving his arm up to grasp the tote bag's strap, to make sure that this was real and he wasn't dreaming.

you didn't realize how tense your frame had been until you felt your shoulders relax under the fabric of sungchan's thick zip up. you sighed softly, gazing up at the sky, random thoughts shuffling through your mind. you didn't see sungchan turn his head slightly to look at you in your faraway state. he couldn't help but smile at the sight of you in his jacket. the night was calm and breezy, and you felt at peace just being in sungchan's company. you berated yourself internally. you were truly head over heels for him.

you're so dead.

the glowing letters in front of your destination brought you back out of your sungchan-induced trance.

"we're here" sungchan looked towards you with a smile.

...

the fluorescent lights in the small corner store made you dizzy as you two meandered down the aisles, searching for snacks.

"is there anything you want?" sungchan inquired softly, and you shook your head. "you sure?" you were about to reaffirm your answer with a nod when the sight of your favorite candy caught your eye. gasping with delight, you run over to the display from which the bag is hanging and crouch to make sure you're not seeing things.

"i didn't know they had sweet tart ropes here.... i love these!" sungchan watched you stand back up, holding the pack of candy with two hands. you were smiling down at the candy, sungchan couldn't help but smile at your excitement. he chuckled, reaching over to ruffle your hair.

"put them in the cart."

...

your shoulders began to tense up again as you stood with sungchan at the door of his apartment, already hearing the commotion of his and your brother's friends inside. you weren't sure why you were nervous, you'd met all of them before, even having known seunghan since you and your brother were kids. sungchan twisted his keys into the lock, deliberately pushing the door open slow.

"i brought y/n" he announced before the door was even completely open -- you couldn't decipher if that was intentional. you didn't have time to dwell on it any further as you were immediately greeted by seunghan.

"y/n!" he practically yanked you into the apartment and into his arms, hugging you excitedly. you almost dropped your phone in surprise, arms coming up slowly to return the boy's embrace softly. you were a bit confused why the boy was being so affectionate to you; you two had known each other for years, but hadn't really been super touchy or physically affectionate as friends. sungchan raised an eyebrow as well but shrugged it off as he went to go place the snacks and your bag down on the countertop.

after greeting seunghan and taking off your shoes at the entrance, you walked further into the living room, seunghan slinging an arm around your shoulder.

greeting the rest of your brother's friends, you huffed as eunseok came up and ruffled your hair. "why are you dressed so nice?" he asked fake innocently, and you knew he was acting dense on purpose, rolling your eyes and hitting his shoulder. "ugh, shut the fuck up."

seunghan looked down at you and smiled suspiciously wide. "our y/n is too good for that guy."

wonbin fought to keep his laughter in as he looked between you and seunghan before looking back at poor sungchan. the taller boy was failing horrifically at covering up his envy, mouth forming a thin line on his face as he practically burned a hole in seunghan's slung arm with his gaze.

"i'm gonna get sungchan to fess up tonight" seunghan spoke as he plopped down next to wonbin and anton on the living room couch. he had just heard from eunseok that you and the tall boy were grabbing snacks and were on your way over to your brother's apartment. the two boys on the couch laughed and shook their heads.

"to y/n? good luck dude." anton shook his head, smiling. sohee walked over, taking a swig from the water bottle before speaking up. "honestly, i think he can finally make it happen." seunghan smiled and fist bumped him. "sohee's right, he can't hide his jealousy for the life of him." shotaro agreed.

"it's a bet."

feeling pretty overwhelmed by the past 5 minutes, you detach yourself from seunghan's hold as politely as you can manage and pad your way over to the fridge to grab some water and make sure your bag is still there. sungchan quietly sits down next to shotaro on the couch, scrolling through his phone and tuning out sohee and anton's loud bantering. the tall boy only looks up when you finally walk back into the living room, water bottle and candy you'd requested earlier in your hands. to sungchan's dismay, you've discarded his jacket in the living room, having felt too awkward to keep wearing it (although you definitely wanted to). sungchan scoots over to make room for you, hands clammy as your smile softly before sitting next to him. switching his phone off and discarding it on his lap, he turns to you and opens his mouth to ask how you're feeling, how the candy tastes, if it's too cold in the apartment, anything, but he isn't even able to get a word out before seunghan plops down on the other side of you, loudly discussing something.

sungchan didn't know what his roommate was talking about, he could barely hear anything over his frustration. since when were you and seunghan so close? seunghan had always seemed pretty indifferent about you up until today, treating you as any of eunseok's other friends did. worrisome thoughts only plagued the taller boy further. had seunghan had the same idea as him? to finally do something about his feelings after hearing about your date?

sungchan stood up abruptly, deciding he needed something to help him get through the night. as he walked away from the couch, he heard you.

"where are you going, sung?" he bit his lip, hard, to suppress the smile threatening to form on his face. turning to you (and the rest of the boys in the living room), he shrugged and spoke. "gonna go smoke, anyone wanna join?" shotaro, feeling bad at younger boy's obvious despair stood up to follow him.

you frowned at sungchan's change in demeanor, wondering what had happened in the past 10 minutes that bothered him so much.

taglist: @woahsehun

[nomi-c]

Drawn to you

{Bang Chan x Reader}

Wordcount: 3,5k

Genre: Best friend to lover, Smut, Pet names (sweetheart, babygirl, baby), cursing (fuck) dominant Chan, oral male receiving, unprotected intercourse (but on the pill!), fingering, trainee chan

A/n: as always with my ff's this ff isn't meant to represent the artist in any way or form.

-Minors don't read-

--

Ever since highschool Chan and you were best friends, you fell for him the moment your friend introduced him to you but you never acted upon them. Instead you watched him fall in love, and helped him through his first break up, and as time passed you saw him fall in love again, and eventually you saw him break up again.

You always were his first supporter, and his shoulder to cry on. Years and years have passed, but you? You stayed the same.

Sure you dated here and there, but it never lasted. Something always felt off and you didn't stick around long enough to find out what it was.

So right after college you and Chan decided to move together, since both of you couldn't afford the apartments on the market by yourself and you didn't mind each others company in the least.

And to say the least, it all worked well.

Both of you would split the bills and the chores and you also did movie evenings every other Saturday if your schedules allowed it.

You wished you would've done a move on him when you first met, but truth to be said you were just too scared to do so. The many bad encounters you had left ugly scars on your body just as much as on your trust towards people.

With a sigh you try to put an end to your spiraling thoughts about chan. You close your phone and place it on the nightstand before you get out of your bed. Watching the latest tiktok trends doesn't help you with the Intruiging couple trends that keep on showing on your feed.

Once up, you put on a oversized hoddie over your tanktop and dress in a random pair of sweatpants to do the chores. Since today (if you could already count it as that- seeing as it only was shortly past midnight) it's the fresh start of a new week, meaning it's your cleaning week.

Mentally checking the list you and Chan made years ago, and that you memorised and knew by heart, you knew the first point too well... cleaning the bathroom.

Both of you liked that point the least but it had to be done anyways, and this week it was on you again to keep the bathroom clean.

After leaving your room, you put your headphones in and head to the storage chamber to get the cleaning stuff you'd need.

Better get the least favorite chore done first, you think to yourself while loading your hands and hoodie pocket with cleaning supplies.

Everything around the apartment is dark, as expected at this time. Which surely is completely normal for the most people you knew... but definetly not for Chan.

Your brows furrow in confusion when you see no beam of light coming out of his room. Usually at this time he is still awake producing music for his group's debute soon, or he is with Minho and Hyunjin on parties like the famous club in town where he always wants you to accompany him to.

Shaking your head slightly you rule out the second thought right away. He would've told you if he left the house just like he always does. You think to yourself as you walk into the bathroom quietly.

Chan always used to be famous among girls, and admired and looked up to by boys up until now, and honestly? You could more than understand why.

All it took was one look of him, and one dimpled smile of him to make all the girls swoon, though he never was a player and took great care in making that clear in the thoughtful way of his. He just was a naturally flirty guy which many girls often misunderstood.

And when it came to Boys he was always a strong shoulder to lean on as well as a protector and through and through the most loyal friend to count on.

He often takes the responsibilities and matters in his hand which naturally made him the leader of basically everyone around him.

Knowing all of that, it didn't surprise you when weeks ago he happily told you that he got the position as leader of his upcoming group where Hyunjin and Minho were also a part of.

After switching on the Light you get to work fully focusing on scrubbing the floor first, before you would move to the toilet and while the toilet soaks the shower and for the very last you plan to scrub the sink. As always the music got the best of you, and soon enough you started humming and dancing to the songs.

You almost finished cleaning the floor when unexpectedly a pair of arms sneaks their way around your waist and pulls you back softly.

You try to surpress a scream as you instinctively drop the mop. Just when you're sure you calmed down enough to speak, you rip your headphones out. "God Chan you scared me to death!" You say with a annoyed grimace and a slightly shaky voice, while holding your hand to your still fast beating and aching heart.

When you look up your heartrate picks up again, but this time for a whole different reason. Your eyes connect with Chan's in the big mirror across from you, and you see his wet hair drip on your bare shoulder from where it runs down your arm slowly as he leans his head down to rest it on your shoulder.

You try to ignore the dimpled smirk he gifts you with as your eyes fall on his muscular and veiny arms that are still draped around your stomach.

You also don't fail to notice that he's not wearing a shirt as well, which for him is pretty usual except the fact that he never hugged you wet and shirtless before.

A bunch of butterflies starts roaming in your stomach at the sudden proximity of you and him and his natural body scent that you swooned over one too many times over the years.

You knew Chan could pull girls left and right without even having to try, but you never noticed just how effortlessly hot he was without even trying.

Maybe it's the fact that he's shirtless. You think to yourself, but know damn well that you saw him like that countless times before.

Your thoughts took you back to your expedition to tiktok and the new trend you saw called the Kabedon challenge. After all he's the only guy you would want to try any if those couple challenges.

What if I ask-

You mentally slap yourself for even taking this into account, as you try to regain composure which considering the fact that he is basically flush against your back, half naked and drenched in water, it's safe to say its damn near impossible.

You feel your cheeks heat up at your highly inappropriate thoughts towards him, and the euphoria you get from his slightly tighter grip around your waist.

"Why are you cleaning at this hour, sweetheart? shouldn't you be in bed already?" He asks you with a soft voice and a dimpled smile, as his thumb mindlessly starts drawing slight circles just above your belly botton.

Heat pits in your lower regions accompanied with a stong pull that causes you to press your legs together to ease some of the pressure that's building up in awful speed.

Embarrassment creeps up Inside of you at how heavily you respond to every touch and undefinable glance at you right now. You could blame it on the music, because you never listened to innocent songs, but you had to admit the songs only slightly ramped up all the emotions you've been carefully hiding away for years.

Shaking your head slowly to regain some of your senses back, you try to answer Chan's question, that damn near slipped from your mind.

"I wanted to clear my mind. Why are you here at this time? Shouldn't you make music or be out with minho and hyunjin?" You ask him quickly while trying seem calm and collected which you're pretty sure you failed miserably.

His soft Chuckle makes you turn around towards him, and you can't help but gasp as you take in all the godly glory in front of you.

"I just got out of the shower, i think you-" You hear him talk, but you can't be bothered to listen as your eyes slowly scan Chan from his dripping wet hair, over his beautiful and defined face, to his plump lips, and finally all the way down his neck where the remains of water rolled down his well defined abs.

Almost hypnotised, you follow the little glistening droplets making their way down his v line, where they get absorbed by his low hanging black sweat pants and boxershorts.

Only when you hear him slightlyclear his throat, you realise where exactly you're been staring at. Your eyes snap back up to his instantly, where you meet his deep brown eyes.

Embarrassed from being caught staring at your Best friend's body like he's a 5 star michelin dish, you quickly turn your back on him and swipe stray strands of hair out of your heated face.

While trying to avoid looking at him again, you bend down to quickly pick up the mop and get back to work. "You know, I thought I was by myself because there was no light from your room..." you begin to say but trailoff when you sense him right behind you.

When you dare to look at him again over the big mirror, you see his eyes trail over your face and neck slowly but intensely, as he turns you back around by your shoulders softly.

Your heart starts racing in your chest when his eyes land on your trembling lips.

The same lips that to your demise always began trembling when you got really nervous. And you knew in the way Chan's eyes visibly darkened, that he knew that too.

Seconds passed while you just stood there unable to move while Chan musters your face closely.

The temptation almost eats you alive to just close the small distance and risk it all. You always had little flirts here and there but it never got this far between you. You could swear by the intensity of his stare that he could actually hear your hammering heart.

And when he actually starts to lean in slowly, with his eyes trailing from your lips to your eyes and back, your brain malfunctions. "Can you pin me up against the wall?" You blurt out loudly.

Instant embarrassment hits you when you realise your words. You could've said anything else but this??

You try to hide your face behind your hands, but Chan is faster. Holding you by the wrists he pulls you close to his chest.

When you dare to look up at him still ashamed, you see a dominance and fire in his eyes that you never saw on him before "Say please." He demands with a dark and raspy voice.

Your eyes go big and you start to back up instinctively with a heart rate going surely over 100mph. You felt like the peaceful deer in the beginning of twilight that got caught by Edward and surely became his snack.

And before you fully realise what just happened, you find yourself trapped in-between Chan and the sink. For one split second you wonder if this all is a way too realistic dream, and you would wake up all too frustrated.

You take a quick flat breath when you quickly try to correct your slip up. "Chan, i didn't mean-"

Your words get stuck in your throat when he puts a finger over your lips to shush you. Your hands instinctively take a hold on his hot and damp chest to support your weak legs. "Don't tempt me sweetheart, I might actually take the offer." His voice suddenly dropping an octave.

"I-" You gulp hard in an attempt to ease the knot in your throat. Your mouth seeming dryer than the Sahara when you lick over your lips in an attempt to calm yourself down.

Chan's hot gaze tracks every slight movement of your tongue with sharp intensity before he leans close to you. "Perfection." Hearing his smoky voice right next to your ear causes your emotions to get the best of you as your knees start trembling with anticipation.

Taking a deep breath you back up enough to look into his eyes. "Please." Your voice almost sounds like a whine, which you knew would haunt you for months later on.

Chan's muscles flex for a second. "You drive me insane babygirl." He growls in your ear.

Your head falls back at the vibration of his voice on your neck. "Please pin me up against the wall Chan." You begg as the new nickname hits you like a truck.

A heartbeat later chans hands grip your waist tightly as he spins both of you around. His Hand wanders to the back of your head to soften the impact when he presses you up against the wall.

His eyes bore into yours when he pins your hands over your head single handedly, and his left leg finds its way in-between your legs.

His hot breath fans your neck softly, as his soft lips stroke over your soft spot in a feathery soft way. "Tell me to stop before I completely lose it baby." He mumbles in shallow breaths while his left hand makes its way to the hem of your top, his fingertips softly grazing the soft skin on your stomach.

Your eyes close shut at the sensation. You had boyfriends before but gosh none of them could make you feel like this, no one could compare to him. Deep down you always knew it, right from the second your eyes met. Hell you already were drenched and close to the edge and he hasn't even really done anything yet.

Taking together all courage you have in you, you open your eyes with a clarity you never felt before. Your lips find his in a tender kiss as you roll your hips against chan. A breathy gasp leaves your lips and your head falls back when you feel his big and rock hard erection pressed up against your stomach.

Both of you shudder equally at the sensation, and with a blast you see his selfcontrol evaporate. Pulling you close by your neck, his lips crash on yours in an all consuming kiss.

Your tongues instantly fight for dominace in a battle you were bound to lose and soon enough, he releases your wrists. Your hands instantly find their way into his damp hair pulling him impossibly closer to you while his hands grip you by the hips to lift you off the ground. "God you have no idea how long I imagined this to become reality." He tells you between pants.

You can't help but moan his name as you tug his hair hard, his words and the way he kisses are taking you high above the clouds and hit you like a train at the same time. "Please don't stop." You whine between kissing breaks.

"Wouldn't dream of it baby." He mumbles in your neck before taking off your hoodie, leaving you in your white tanktop with nothing underneath.

When chans heated gaze falls on your clothed breasts you feel his Dick twich on your still covered core. His breathing quickens and a strangled "fuck" leaves his lips.

Your nipples already start to hurt from being neglected which he to gladly takes care of when he pinches your nob softly though your top.

You almost scream in extasy while your back arches and your hands dig in his broad back. "Chan plase, i need you." you whine while your hands greedily travel down his defined abs trying to reach what you desire the most. With another growl he lifts you from the wall and walks both of you both to the shower in quick steps.

Without breaking the kiss, he turns on the water before he yet again presses you against the wall. When he sets you back down to the floor his right hand grabs your neck to pull you closer to him. Your hand however has a mind of its own.

Sliding your small hands into his pants, you wrap your hand around his pulsating erraction and start stroking down his length to the very tip where your thumb circles the tip and swipes away his precum.

His head falls back as a broken moan leaves his lips. "Fuck Y/n." Your core contracts painfully by the heavenly sounds he makes when you additionaly start to kiss and lick down his defined abs making your way down to your knees.

Once down, you look back up at him with big and innocent eyes that doesn't match the evil smirk that decorates your lips.

Another growl leaves his lips at your sight. All wet and your tits on display beneath the white tanktop. He leans against the wall to cover you from the stream of the rain shower you both insisted on getting when you moved in.

Still smirking, you pull down his sweats and boxers in a swift motion, enjoying the view of his big erection springing free before your eyes.

You don't waste a second and slide your tongue along his shaft and peck his tip before you lick your lips to get a tiny taste of him already. A needy moan leaves his plump lips along with a incomprehensive needy mumble.

You feel his leg muscles flex under hands when you wrap your lips around him and start bobbing your head in a slow pace, while closely observing his facial expressions.

Chan shudders notably, a loud moan leaving his lips. With another painful tug in your core you add your hand to cover all of him where your mouth doesn't reach just yet.

His right hand that doesn't support him reaches down to your head where he softly caresses you.

Looking up at him once again, you take all of him in and hardly suppress a gag. He moans your name loudly as his hand starts to fist your hair harshly, as his hips start to rock instinctively towards your mouth.

Your watering eyes connect as you pick up speed and ignore the barely hidden moans and gags your neighbors would surely hear.

Your hand travels down to your pants, which you pull down quickly and insert a finger soon enougn a second one in yourself to ease your heavy want to feel him deep inside of you. Matching chans pace you pump your fingers at a fast pace while each moan of you makes him curse throaty in-between moans. The drizzling water from the shower and worries about your neighbours being long ago forgotten and overpowered by each of his moans and thrusts of his hips.

You feel your climax building up strong and rapidly when he twiches inside your mouth indicating that he's close, and right before both of you fall apart, Chan pulls out and pulls you back up heavily panting. Your forheads connect as the warm water starts to drizzle on your overheated body once again. "I want to burry myself deep inside of you and fuck you senseless baby" nodding, a whine leaves your lips when you mouth a incomprehensible answer.

Heavily panting chan leans forward and kisses you passionately before he pulls back. "are you on the pill?" He asks you as his lips kiss down your body and his hands pull your tanktop down just enough for him to take one of your nipples in his mouth and start softly sucking on while his other hand massaged the other.

Your back arches as your hands grip chans hair tightly, once again feeling on the edge.

Collecting your last braincells, you answer his question. "I was about to stop taking them.... but wanted to end the package first-" Chans doesn't wait for your full answer when his lips crash back on yours as he rips your shirt off of you in a flowing motion before he tosses it somehere around you.

You feel him smirk against your lips. "Good girl"

Without warning he lifts you up again and slides into you, streching you out to the limit. Both if you moan at the incredible feel of it.

He kisses you fiercely as his hand flicks and squeezes your aching nipple. He holds still inside of you and only when you nod against his neck he starts starts to move.

Your eyes roll back by the exquisite stretch with each strong stroke of him. Your mind goes more blank with every hard thrust, each kiss, and each rough moan that leaves his soft lips.

Your mouth hangs open and mumbles his name in-between your loud moans. Chans lips travel to your neck where he kisses and sucks on your sensitive spot causing you to yelp as your core contracts against his length. "Chan....Close..." you pant as your whole body starts to shake for the second time and you start seeing starts.

Chan grabs your wrists again and pins them above your head, his hips shuddering slightly. "Did you want to get pinned against the wall like this?"He asks you with yet another strong thrust of his hips and squeez of your breast.

You whimper nodding your head heavily. His lips catch yours fiercely once again as he pulls on your bottom lip with a slight tug. "With me being inside of you, fucking you senseless and claiming each and every piece of your beautiful body as mine?" A particularly loud moan leaves your lips at balls deep thrust that emphasised word mine. "Y-yes."

Chan picks up even more speed kissing you all over your face and neck as he pulls your left leg up further to reach you deeper and thats when you fall apart, his lips land on yours in heartbeat to catch your scream of relieve as the tidal wave hits you hard. With every kiss and every thrust, and roll of his hips you whisper his name against his burning skin and shortly after you he reaches his high too while calling out your name.

Between small kisses and each moan of your name you both come down from your high. You don't know how much time has passed with both of you kissing each other and you still being burried deep inside of him, before he slowly slides out of you with a shaky breath.

Your eyebrow rises when you feel him getting hard against your stomach once again. After lifting up your eyes again you see him smirk before his face gets serious, and he gives you a kiss on your forhead, His hand caressing your cheek softly. "I like you Y/n." He tells you in a gentle voice, as he turns back into the sweet, loving and caring boy you knew.

A big mile spreads on your lips when you begin to speak. "I like you too Chan, ever since the moment I met you."

Chans eyes widen in surprise before he breaks out into the widest smile you ever saw on him.

His lips connect with yours in a gentle and loving kiss as he carefully carries you out of the bathroom. You give him a questioning look as he guides you to his room.

Chan laughs softly, as he opens the door skillfully with one elbow. "I fucked you as your best friend, its only fair that I love you as your boyfriend now."

You Kiss him softly and smile against his lips. "Boyfriend" you repeat in a dreamy voice.

Your gasp in surprise when Chan lays you down on his bed softly. The dim Red led lights hugging his delicately sexy frame in all the right ways when he leans above you. "Chan- we drench the bed...."

Chan kisses you slowly as his hand draws soft circles on your stomach once again. "Doesn't matter baby, we have you bed and the couch as well, which I'm sure we will definitely make good use of too later."

--

Authors note: I tried to proof read the ff for any mistakes, but maybe I didn't catch all mistakes.😅 But I still hope I did a good job with this ff that spontaneously roamed my mind. (After stumbling on that pin me against the wall part from one of his lives) 😂

[salty-autistic-writer]

Chapter Five of "Hold My Hand, I'll Walk With You My Dear"

Summary: 5 times Buck and Tommy talk about their fears and 1 time they defeat fear together.

"Home sweet home,” Evan says cheerily, opening the door to Tommy’s apartment and switching on the lights.

“Finally,” Tommy sighs relieved and hobbles over the doorstep with his crutches, grimacing at the aching pain in his hip. Finally no more hospital. No more people coming into his room unannounced, prodding him or telling him to do stupid tests. No more mushy hospital food he can’t stand to have in his mouth. No more. 

Now, he only has to somehow survive the endless hours of being trapped at home.

After too many weeks of surgeries, recovery and physical therapy, his doctor finally agreed to release him, though under the condition that he has someone with him who makes sure he doesn’t fall and hurt himself in the shower, that he regularly takes his meds and does his exercises.

Tommy felt a familiar pang of pain at her words. He hates to be reminded of the fact that he doesn’t have a present supportive family. They don’t even know that he almost died. Again.

Then, Evan told the doctor, “Yeah, I got this.” Without a hint of hesitation.

And Tommy stared up at him, unable to comprehend his words for a moment. 

I got this. Did Evan really just say that? He couldn’t be serious. Spending his precious free time between shifts like that? No way …

Even though there were love confessions now and talks about moving in with each other, this was too much. Tommy was about to open his mouth and protest when the doctor beamed at Evan, said, “Excellent, I’ll get the discharge papers” and left. Evan turned to look at Tommy with a bright smile on his face and gave him a thumbs up and Tommy … Tommy closed his mouth. God. Evan really was serious.

Now, he’s about to discover how serious …

“I already prepared,” Evan says, pushing his hands into the pockets of his jeans and smiling somewhat nervously, “I hope that’s ok.”

Prepared? Tommy frowns. He finally makes it to his living room - and stops. “Oh,” is all that comes over his lips. His couch is covered in several blankets and pillows. Looks like a nest. A very very cozy nest. Also, there is a ridiculously big fruit basket on the side table. And snacks. And his meds. And water bottles. Tommy is speechless.

“Ok?” Evan asks, his eyes flicking between the couch and Tommy. He scratches the back of his head and tilts his head. “It’s a bit much, right? I just thought you might want to have everything in reaching distance. So you don’t have to get up if I’m not there for a moment.”

“It’s more than ok,” Tommy says quietly, still staring. Something warm curls around his heart and it feels painful, but in a good way. “I … Thank you.”

Evan beams at him. “Come on, sit down. Do you want to take a nap or are you up for a movie? I made a list since you are criminally behind every popular franchise right now.”

Tommy limps to the couch and carefully sits, leaning back into the pillows and mumbling a “thanks” when Evan takes the crutches and leans them against the wall. Tommy puts his legs on the couch and God, it’s so comfy. No one has ever done something like this for him. His eyes start to burn and he can feel his throat tightening. He might actually start to cry.

“Are you hungry yet? If you’re hungry we can also order pizza or Chinese or whatever you - are you okay?!” Evan blurts, his eyes widening when he looks at Tommy. “Are you in pain?”

Tommy shakes his head, rubbing at his burning eyes. “No. I think I’m going to cry. And I fear I’m not going to be able to blame it on the medication since ugly sobbing isn’t listed in the side effects.”

“Ok, but are you crying because you’re in pain or because you thought about something very sad?” Evan asks, frowning in concern.

“Neither,” Tommy says and smiles weakly. “It’s happy tears.”

Evan’s face relaxes. He blushes an adorable light shade of red. “Oh.”

“Yeah. This …” Tommy gestures around. “What you did. No one has ever done something like this for me. And it’s overwhelming. But in a good way. I just have to get rid of the fear that I'm too much of a burden like this."

“I’m sorry no one has taken care of you before,” Evan says seriously. “You deserve it. You're definitely not a burden. I love you and I want to make sure you're okay."

Tommy looks away because the care in Evan’s eyes is too much right now. He wishes he could believe that, instead of fearing he is going to be too much of a burden.

“I should warn you. I’m a terrible patient. Being forced to stay at home all the time makes me antsy," he says.

“Well, you’re not going to be alone,” Evan points out, sitting on the couch as well. “And even if you are, you can always text me. Even if I am not going to be able to read and react immediately, it might help you to release some energy.”

“Okay,” Tommy says quietly, his chest glowing. God. How are you so perfect? 

And the fear returns with that thought. Because Tommy is far from perfect. That’s why he’s been alone for so long. Somehow, he always manages to mess things up. What if he manages to mess this up too? Right now, everything seems to work out. He’s been careful. Has opened up in fractions. And Evan is still here. He made all this effort and wants to stay and take care of Tommy. So maybe, this is going to last. But can he be sure about that?

“Are you okay?” Evan asks and Tommy winces. Apparently, he’s been quiet for too long.

“Yeah. I’m fine. Just a little tired,” he says, suppressing a yawn. “You don’t have to stay, you know? If you want to go home, you can. I’ll be fine.”

Evan shakes his head. “I have everything I need. I brought a bag. So unless you really want me to leave, I can stay.”

“Please stay,” Tommy breathes. A bit too fast, maybe. Too desperate. God. He’s really tired now. Can feel it in his aching muscles. And his head started to pound again. Feels as if someone would hit his temples with a hammer. He grimaces. “I think I have to take the medication now.”

Evan fetches the pills and pours him a glass of water. Tommy downs it all and then leans back, into the warm softness of the pillows. He can feel sleep reaching for him. And he’s way too exhausted to fight it.

“I’m going to go to the grocery store,” Evan tells him. “But I’ll be back in a moment, alright?”

“Alright,” Tommy mutters, not able to keep his eyes open anymore.

He feels the ghost of a warm kiss on his forehead and smiles. This is nice. He slowly starts to believe that it could always be like this. That he’s not a burden. That this is how a relationship is supposed to be. That he can be himself. And that he can allow himself to be taken care of without fear.

A door closes.

It’s alright, he thinks while falling asleep. He’ll be back when I wake up. I know.

[rebelwrites]

Three: He Was Checking You Out

Charles Leclerc x Nova Teller (OC)

Till The Wheels Fall Off Masterlist

Small town meets the fast lane. What happens when two souls meet? Will it end in happiness or will they both crash and burn?

As always reblogs and feedback is highly appreciated ❤️ if you want tagging in future parts let me know ❤️

“Auntie Nova,” Elenor shouted over the sound of the shower.

“What’s up princess?” I smiled, poking my head around the shower curtain, making sure my body was covered.

“Poppy, called me your name today,” she whispered with an air of sadness in her voice. She was too young to fully understand Pops’ health concerns, but she knew something was wrong with him, there was no way we could hide that from anyone.

Retreating behind the shower curtain I ran my hands over my face. How the fuck was I meant to explain to her that her Poppy’s memory was getting worse? I took a deep breath before speaking. “Poppy just got confused, baby, he was watching the race and when I was your age, I used to sit on his knee watching with him.”

“Okay,” she hummed, slowly nodding her head as she chewed the inside of her mouth. I could tell by her reaction it was not the response she was seeking but I let out a small sigh of relief when she asked no more questions on the subject. For now, I had dodged a bullet, but I needed to warn Jax that at some point we needed to try to find a way to explain everything to Elenor that wouldn’t scare her. She loved her Poppy to bits and the last thing we wanted to do was cause her to worry.

“Have you thought about what you want to wear tonight?” I asked, quickly changing the subject as I shut the water off. Reaching my arm out of the shower I fumbled until I found the towel.

“My Ferrari hoodie,” she giggled, making me smile. I had definitely taught her well when it came to which team to support.

“Good choice, baby,” I grinned to myself as I wrapped the towel around my body. I was so grateful that we made sure the bar had an apartment upstairs and that we all kept a spare change of clothes here. “Has Uncle Bobby made you anything to eat?”

“He made my favorite.” She beamed as I pulled back the shower curtain, stepping out over the edge of the bath. I didn’t need to ask her what she had, her go to was always chicken nuggets and curly fries. It was honestly quite scary how alike Elenor was to not only Jax but to myself as well, especially since I had no blood relation to either of them.

Once we were both back in the small bedroom I quickly dried myself and got dressed. The outfit I had was simple: a ribbed light gray cropped vest top, black high waisted skinny jeans, my oversized long gray cardigan and finishing the outfit off with my black boots. It was the perfect outfit for relieving Chibs for the rest of the night whilst maintaining that edgy look I preferred whilst working at the bar.

Staring at my reflection I let out a small breath, my whole life I had been battling with the demons. It had been a long road, but I was slowly loving the body I was in but some days the voices grew louder making them hard to ignore. Taking one final glance at my appearance I made sure I was satisfied, I had done my makeup in record time but decided to leave my hair as it was because drying it was more effort than I wanted to spare right now. Feeling Elenor take my hand, I tore my gaze from the mirror smiling down at my niece. “Come on then, trouble.” I hummed. “Let’s go find your Dad.”

The two of us ran down the stairs, quickly reaching the small hallway that ran through the entire building, at the end was the main bar area, on the right side was mine and Jax’s shared office which was off limits to everyone and then the kitchen and storage area were towards the back.

Elenor instantly made her way over to Jax who was sitting with some guys from the MC, whilst I dipped in the kitchen to check on Bobby.

“There's my favorite cook,” I hummed, entering the kitchen. “How’s it been tonight?” I asked, leaning against the stainless steel countertop, picking at the batch of curly fries that had just come out of the oven.

“Not too bad, it’s been pretty steady, to be honest,” Bobby nodded, “it’s nice that it’s just the usuals. Lord help me when the summer tourists finally hit. Might have to drag a prospect or two in to help.”

“Whatever you need, you know you’ve got it. All you need to do is say the words,” I smiled, as he passed me a bowl of chicken nuggets, cocking my brow at him he just smirked.

“You won’t eat otherwise, and picking at the fries doesn’t count either,” he said, giving me a knowing look. Leaning over I pressed a kiss against his cheek before pushing myself off the counter to go relieve Chibs from behind the bar.

As I entered the main room, chicken nuggets in hand, I took a moment to scan the area; it was still pretty early in the evening so the place was somewhat quiet, however I knew things would change once the lads finished work piling in the bar. But it was something I loved, this bar was the heart of the town.

As soon as I was behind the counter I abandoned my chicken nuggets on the side before placing a clean mug under the spout of the coffee machine, pressing the green button on the front of the appliance to make Pops a fresh brew. He rarely drank alcohol now, so we always made sure we had a good stock of fresh coffee grounds and soft drinks, not only for him but for Elenor, too.

Looking up from the machine, my heart melted as I watched Jax with his daughter. Elenor brought out a completely different side to him. When he was with her he became softer, watched his language and didn’t drink too much. Initially it was weird seeing Jax completely change, but it always made me smile. She definitely made him a better man.

My mind was spinning with what Elenor had revealed to me upstairs, my worries were getting worse when it came to Pops’ health. Now he was calling Elenor by my name. I had a strong feeling things were only going to get worse. I needed to speak to him; I needed to understand what was going on with him right now even if he wasn’t going to make any sense. Looking over to the booth that Pops was sitting in I saw a bright smile on his face, one I hadn’t seen for a couple of days, it always warmed my heart. But the main thing I noticed was he wasn’t sitting alone, there were two people sitting with him, both with their backs to the bar.

Taking a deep breath, I left them to it not wanting to disrupt the conversation that was causing Pops to be this ecstatic.

“He looks happy,” Chibs whispered, placing his hand on my shoulder.

“Yeah, he does. So anything I should know?” I asked, changing the subject, glancing at Chibs over my shoulder.

“Nope, you are all good to take over, lass,” Chibs winked, leaning against the bar, pulling the beer bottle to his lips. He was hiding something from me, the smirk on his face gave that away, in fact I knew when all the club members were keeping things from me, one of the numerous benefits of being brought up around the MC. Raising my brow at him, he just shook his head quickly changing the conversation. “Tig isn’t joining us tonight, so it's gonna be a quiet one.”

“Tiggy isn’t gracing us with his presence, has hell frozen over?” I chuckled, as I finished the coffee. “I swear he props the bar up most nights.”

“I think one of his kids is in town for a couple of days,” Chibs shrugged.

“Which one?”

“The crazy one.”

“Again which one?” I chuckled, cocking my brow at my favorite Scotsman.

When it came to Tig and his girls we all knew it was best not to interfere, letting him do what he needed to do because the last time one of us got involved it got messy.

It didn’t take long for the coffee to be ready but before I had a chance to take it over to Pops, Chibs had already picked the mug up from the counter. “Oh and lass, you never know who might be in the bar tonight,” he smirked, throwing me a wink as he exited the bar making his way through the room to join Pops and whoever was sharing the booth with him.

Shaking off his words I quickly found myself busy tending the bar along with serving food, even though Tig wasn’t gracing us with his presence tonight the place still had a buzz about it. Scanning the room I was greeted with the familiar faces of people I grew up with, most nights it was filled with members of the MC. This was practically our home, if you couldn’t find one of the guys around town, you knew they would be here.

More of the locals joined us when we hosted themed nights, quiz and karaoke evenings were definitely the most popular. I loved it when this place was packed, the sounds of everyone talking, laughing and having a good time with their friends and family.

It also made the hours pass quickly.

However, no matter what I did I couldn’t shake the feeling of worry, I needed to speak to Jax about Pops. We needed to sit down and work out what we were going to tell Elenor but we needed to figure it out sooner rather than later.

Eventually things quietened down, the mad rush of everyone finishing work had passed, giving me a chance to catch my breath, looking over to where Pops was sitting, noticing that his guests had left. Quickly I grabbed the two mugs of fresh coffee before making my way over the booth, sliding into the cherry red leather, automatically resting my head on his shoulder.

“How was your evening?” I asked, letting the familiar smell of coffee and aftershave wash over me.

“Pretty amazing, my sweet Nova,” Pops beamed. Pulling away from him I looked up noticing how wide his smile was, he had that sparkle back in his eyes. “I spent the whole evening talking to Charles Leclerc and Pierre Gasly.”

I had just taken a large sip of coffee as he spoke, his words caught me off guard causing me to choke on the caffeinated liquid.

The realization finally hit me like a ton of bricks, he had completely lost his mind.

Taking a deep breath, I tried to ignore the feeling of my stomach twisting into a tight knot. I knew there was no way he had spent the evening talking to two drivers that he had spent two hours watching on the TV.

“Of course you did Pops,” I mumbled, trying to mask my worry with a strangled laugh. “Let me go find Jax, he is your ride home tonight.”

Pushing myself to my feet I scurried back behind the bar, bouncing on the balls of my feet whilst I waited for Jax to finish conversation with Chibs. I found myself holding back tears as I tried to calm myself down. I was normally pretty good at holding it together and not showing any emotion to the outside world but right now I was failing.

Suddenly Jax was now standing in front of me, wrapping his arms around me providing a sense of comfort. Yes, me and Jax fought like biological siblings but when it came down to it I knew I could count on him when I felt weak and needed someone to be strong for me for once.

“Where’s your head at Squirt?” Jax hummed, guiding me from behind the bar and out onto the patio terrace.

“Can you take Pops home please?” I sniffled, pulling away from him, leaning against the wall. Automatically I ran my hands over my face before speaking again, Jax extended his hand holding out a smoke which I gratefully took. “I’m worried, Pops is getting worse. Tonight he told me he spent the evening talking to Leclerc and Gasly.”

“As in Charles Leclerc and Pierre Gasly?” Jax mocked, cocking his brow at me. There was something about the look on his face, I couldn't quite place. Normally I was pretty good at reading my brother but right now I was struggling.

“Yuup,” I hummed, popping the ‘p’, ignoring his playful tone. Right now wasn’t the time for him to be joking. “My head is spinning right now, he is getting worse. I don’t know if I have time to focus on Pops, the bar, and the cafe. I feel like I am drowning. I think we need to look at getting outside help.”

The moment the words left my lips I felt the bile rise in my throat. I hated myself for even saying them. Teller’s never quit on family, but saying those words made me feel like I was giving up on him, when in reality I was just struggling to keep my head above water. The look on Jax’s face changed, this look was something I knew all too well, it was a look that told me he felt guilty.

“Nova,” Jax breathed, draping his arm around my shoulder, pressing a kiss against my temple. “You deserve a break more than any of us. I know the last couple of weeks, hell even the past year with the custody hearings, I haven’t been around much and I am so fucking sorry,” his voice was quiet as he spoke. “I will take Pops home, don’t worry about anything else but the bar tonight. Tomorrow we will sit down and work out what we need to do to help him.”

Taking a deep breath, I silently nodded at Jax. “I just hope tomorrow is a better day,” I whispered.

“It will be, Squirt,” Jax hummed, “think positive. We are in this together, till the wheels fall off, remember.”

Hours had passed, the work was steady which I was grateful for however I desperately needed sleep. Over the last month I had been opening up the cafe followed by a closing shift at the bar. Both businesses were short staffed due to people taking vacation time and illness, meaning I had to spread myself thin to make sure both establishments kept bringing in income for the club. I could have asked for help getting some of the prospects in to take some of the pressure off but the truth was I didn’t trust them. They hadn’t been patched yet and a lot of them still had to prove their loyalty to the club.

The moment I had put the lock on the main doors of the bar I let out a huge sigh of relief that was until I looked around the bar seeing the glasses scattered across the tables. The prospects that had been chosen to help around the bar really hadn’t pulled their weight this evening, confirming my decision not to ask for any help. I was definitely going to be having words with Jax about it.

Glancing at the time I groaned knowing that by the time I had finished the clean up it would be well past 2am, so once I had gotten to bed I would only end up having a couple of hours sleep before I had to be up to get the cafe ready for opening.

It made me wonder if it was even worth going to sleep tonight.

“Nova, go home,” Bobby said, appearing from the direction of the kitchen. He already had the large black plastic tub that we used for collecting the glasses tucked under his arms. “I’ve got this, you go get yourself in bed, sweetheart. The last thing we need is you collapsing from exhaustion.”

“You sure?” I asked, trying to hide the yarn that escaped from my lips.

“Absolutely,” he said, flashing me a soft smile.

Right now I was so grateful, I hated abandoning ship but I knew I could never win this fight with Bobby. He was someone that once he had set his mind on something you couldn’t do anything about it.

It didn’t take me long to round my things up, not when it comprised my phone, smokes, car keys and lighter. Slipping everything into my pockets I strolled over to Bobby giving him a hug.

As I was making my way out of the bar Bobby started speaking again. “I’m proud of you sweetheart, you acted better than we all expected tonight.”

“What are you on about?” I laughed, cocking my eyebrow at him in confusion.

“We were graced with the presence of your favorite Formula One driver tonight,” he said with a large smirk firmly planted on his face.

Great first Pops and now Bobby, was everyone losing their mind in this town?

I had two options: play along with it or call him out on him going crazy. After weighing up my options I decided to go along with this crazy story.

“I know right! I can’t believe they chose our small town, let alone our bar,” I squealed over dramatically whilst rolling my eyes. “Maybe they will come back tomorrow, we will fall madly in love before running off into the sunset together!”

“Kiddo with how the boy was checking you out, it wouldn’t surprise me if he became a regular,” Bobby replied, with a large smirk on his face.

“You’ve been reading Elenor too many stories, old man,” I scoffed, once again rolling my eyes at him. There was no way on this earth that two talented formula one drivers were in the bar let alone checking me out. “Maybe I need to send you with Pops to the memory clinic.”

“Sweetheart, he definitely was, I swear Jax was moments away from ripping his throat out with the way Leclerc was running his eyes over your body,” he chuckled, a large smirk gracing his face as he continued to collect glasses.

“Goodnight, you crazy old man, I will text you the details of Pops’ next appointment,” I hollered over my shoulder, making my way to the back exit.

For what felt like the millionth time this evening my mind was spinning.

Was it fuck with Nova day or something?

Clambering in the driver's seat of my old truck I rested my forehead against the steering wheel, I desperately needed sleep. I knew I would be fine in the morning and this would just be a bad dream.

The drive home went by in a blur, a small smile appeared on my face as I noticed Jax had left the porch light on for me. No matter how many times he did this it always warmed my heart.

All I wanted to do was crawl into bed and sleep, but there was something playing on my mind. I needed to know if Pops and Bobby were telling the truth because if they were I had made a complete fool of myself from the moment me and Jax got back from dirt biking. I just prayed that if he was in the bar, he wasn’t there when I was reciting Crofty’s commentary from Monza. Because if he was then I could never show my face in the bar again.

@withmyteeth @chibsytelford @stillbreathin @danzer8705 @keyweegirlie @celestialams @dragon-of-winterfell @ohthemisssery @a-distantdreamer @sgkophie @angywritesstuff @enchantedbytomandhenry @scribbuluswrites @dangerouspursepeachbear @buendiabebeta @ferrarifwendvale @theplobnrgone @charlesleclercje @queenslife @panicforspec @inesramoss30 @justme2042 @liv67 @derpinathebrave @clcspeonies @pleasantducktimetravel @raaaaabzzz @mehrmonga @sbgal @fangirl-lb @pitconfirmbutton @oslokij @tall-tanned-tattoo @bigcreatorwombatdreamer @pumpkin-spice-hate @talicat713 @band--psycho @little-diable @i-love-scott-mccall @fourthwallhateclub @theysayitscrazy @rosieposie0624 @choochoo284 @meteora-fc @beeroses @darklydeliciousdesires @the-jer-bear @extraneousred @youflickedtooharddamnit @babypink224221

[aech1gwen]

Happy Birthday, Miles!

A short and late birthday story for Miles inspired by my recent post about Miles and Gwen. (Please forgive me for any writing errors, I have not written fanfiction for almost a year now so I might edit this out along the way as I notice any grammatic errors while rereading.)

----

In a familiar rooftop where she had met both the older Morales's, Gwen nervously paces around waiting for her boyfriend to arrive, her heart drumming a fast rhythm as she rethink this whole surprise. Yesterday evening, she had shared this idea with Mrs. Morales who of course, had wholeheartedly supported it and even thanked her for being such a caring lover for Miles. And now, she can't help be more anxious about Miles's reaction.

She knows she shouldn't pressure herself, besides who was she kidding, this is Miles Morales that she's thinking about. The sweetest and kindest man she had known her entire life, a man with the purest of heart who without hesitation would risk himself for others. Gwen knows that anything she gives him is something he'll cherish for on and on. Which is why, she wanted to give him an evening dedicated to just the both of them, an evening where they can lay under the stars and just be Miles and Gwen instead of Spider-Man and Spider-Woman.

 

---

In the early sunrise that day, Miles was woken up by the softest melody from a piano being played in his dorm. It was one he didn't recognize, a lovely lullaby of piano keys played together that he could tell was professionally and gracefully played. With how gratifying the music was, Miles had almost fallen back asleep until he realizes that he doesn't have a piano in his dorm and Ganke doesn't play one..

 

So how in the?

 

He begins sit up from his bed, carefully listening to music while slowly reaching up to the door then finally hears words, lyrics rather being sung and he had immediately recognized that comforting and gentle voice.

 

I never thought you'd be the one / To hold my heart / I never knew I'd think of you / Each time that we're apart.

Gwen? Miles peeks outside his dorm room to find his lovely girlfriend gracefully playing a massive piano (how it got there? he'll have to ask later) with her sitting down with her eyes closed but her body facing towards Miles's room. He stares in marvel at the scenery in front of him, completely awestruck with how captivating and pretty she looks playing and singing a the same time. He steps closer to her hoping to get a better hearing and look. The girl smiles in recognizing the boy's footsteps but she doesn't open her eyes yet, her fingers pressing on to the black and white keys with so much grace.

 

Each Day / I'll be the one missing your face / And all that you are / Save me / I promise I'd stay here by your side / And I know from the start.

Then as she begins to play the chorus she opens her eyes only to be greeted by a lovestruck Miles Morales, beaming at her breathtaking little concert and carefully listening to the lyrics. Their eyes met and Miles's smile grew even more as his heart beats to the slow rhythm of the piano. He hummed along with her and she continues on to sing softly whilst Miles just stares and listens. Her eyes fall back to the piano when she finally hits the last chorus. The dorm becomes a stage in the eyes of the birthday boy, he is the audience and she is the performer, the art, the star.

Miles is more focused on the lyrics and the unfamiliar song. Had Gwen recommended this to her yet? Or is it an original piece? Whatever the answer is, Miles felt that she was not merely singing for him but for everything they are.

 

When you're here I realized / I'll be the one to testify / Baby / Say that you're mine tonight.

 

Gwen had ended the song with one last key, looking back at the young man who had stars in his eyes and a gentle smile on his lips, she beams back at him chuckling at how adorable he looked. "Happy Birthday, Miles." she whispers in the most loving way imaginable.

Ignorant on his surroundings, he flinched at the shout of a "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" from behind him, now noticing the other people in the room carrying a little SpiderMan cake with candles lit up. A soft laughter produces out of Gwen at Miles's reaction while he examines them all and saw that both his close friends from the Spider Society and his family had all gathered up here today to surprise him with big smiles on their faces and presents on their hands. He instantly began to burst into tears his mom runs over to embrace him whilst peppering kisses on his cheeks and forehead.

He started to thank everyone for being here with him on his birthday especially his Spider friends. Hobie comes up to him and greets him with a pat on his head, telling him that it was Gwen's idea to have everyone come over and celebrate with Miles for his 16th birthday. "I thought you'd love the idea of having them all with you on your special day," Gwen clarifies, finally standing up from the piano to stride closer to Miles, "they are important to you after all." she finishes.

Miles smiles adoringly at her while also taking in on what she's wearing now that she has stood up fully for him to admire her clothing. "Thank you so much, mi preciosa. You look very gorgeous in that dress, it suits you a lot." Miles compliments, taking Gwen in to give her a massive hug after he was done admiring her look. A moment later, they head back to the Morales's apartment and had started to celebrate. Miles glances around to see his other relatives on the rooftop with magical decorations that drove Miles to burst into tears again. They really had planned this so well. This was most definitely his best birthday yet.  

With his spider friends all dressed in casual clothes to blend in with the crowd while thel had the time of their lives, his parents and relatives coming to him to greet and blab short about how he's matured so much, his mom embarrassingly taking out baby photos of hin to show to his friends as he tries to stop her (he failed), and how Gwen had went with him to his Uncle Aaron's burial to pay respect. The sky becomes dark and his friends had decided to call it a night going back home to their dimensions.

 

Gwen had also excused herself but explained that she'll be right back to grab something from her dimension. She gives Miles a quick peck on the lips and leaves in a rush which brought in a doubtful look on Miles. While waiting for Gwen, he used his time to spend it with his parents chatting about his life as Spiderman and that even though they were terrified of the responsibility and danger, they were proud of him for trusting them and being honest with them.

And honestly, Miles was content with what he has.

After the events of what transpired, he had become more confident about himself. Sure, it did take a while to bring back into his spirit when Miguel had ruined him so badly on both his mental and physical health, but he has his loved ones who had wholeheartedly supported his decisions and everything that he is.

Of course, it also did take a period of time for him to trust his friends again. Gwen had almost.. almost fallen to her fate like the other Gwen Stacy's. Miles will never forget the day she had suddenly said goodbye and "I'm sorry." out of nowhere making Miles worried when she ran off over to the Green Goblin. Hobie had thankfully warned him about the destiny and tragic deaths of every variants of Gwen which that made him manipulate the canon events in order to save her. 

 

.....just in time..

 

When Miles finally caught her hand, he held onto her, clinging like onto her and pulling her close to his chest yet still somehow not close enough for him. He embraced her so close as if she'll really disappear if he let go, if he hadn't made it in time, she might have been. A waterfall of tears streaming down his cheeks silently hoping that she would open her eyes.

And she did. Gwen had whispered his name, opening up for Miles to see her beautiful ocean blue eyes as she looks at him in longing, causing Miles to whisper affirmations in Spanish whilst she clings into him, falling back unconscious and in tears. Mrs. Morales saw it happened right before her own eyes, the uncontrollable sobs this Spiderman (which she later finds out is her son) had displayed in horror of losing Gwen. She had offered to help which resulting to Miles turning back to her unmasked revealing his identity. But he didn't care, he was too focused on the unconscious girl in his arms.

 

Her safety became his top priority.

 

Many months of being the only spiderman had ended and he had been greeted by amazing new people he can rely on and talk to about his troubles. He had managed to break his own canon event and Gwen's. They had spoken about it in the hospital, all those pent up sentiments and feels were both let out and heard, hugs and apologies were exchange, then that was the day they had shared their first kiss... It took Gwen by surprise, but Miles had to find a way to stop Gwen's nonstop apologies for what she did and how she doesn't deserve his forgiveness so Miles did what he had always wanted to do since that day at the rooftop.

 

Of course, it may have taken the young girl by surprise but she did return the kiss with much sweetness and softness, falling into their own rhythm and setting up their own pace as they test the waters.

 

"Mi amor, let's go talk to other umm.. spider people," Mrs. Morales closes the door after she takes a peek at the happenings inside, letting her son and Gwen have their moment. "I'm sure you have some questions to ask them." Jeff agrees without hesitation and leaves to check on the others. The moment they come back, both have fallen asleep in each other's embrace, Miles never felt happier that day.

 

---

 

Half an hour had passed and Gwen hasn't come back yet. Miles tries to contact her through his watch, no response. He begins to worry, so he goes out of his room only to be met by his mom who had wanted to him to follow her back to the rooftop. "You'll see, Miles." Rio had gently replied to Miles's constant curious questions. As they got nearer, Rio steps ahead to unlock the entrance for her son to witness the shimmer in his eyes when he saw his one final surprise.

 

On the rooftop was a rows of fairylights hanging above to light up the whole rooftop. He examines more, observing the small sunflower petals scattered all over the floor and leading to a path in front of him. He hasn't noticed yet, his mom left and closed the door whilst his eyes was too busy processing this magical sight in front of him. He took in the amount of detailed decorations everywhere then brings his gaze back to the petals, that leads all the way to a makeshift blanket fort with his one and only girlfriend, sitting on the opening with that familiar delicate smile and her hair gently swaying with the breeze.

 

"Happy Birthday, Bambi." She welcomed him using the nickname she used for him since he had compared him to a baby deer. Although Gwen usually uses the nickname as a taunting joke, but she said it so softly and filled with fondness that Miles cherished the name more than ever.

 

"Gwen!" He ran into her arms resulting to them both tumbling back into the fort, lying down on the soft blankets that wraps the floor with an enormous amount of pillows. He was practically squeezing her out of bliss that Gwen couldn't help but laugh and returning the hug with much energy. A couple of instants after, he shifts away sufficiently just to give her the sweetest kiss on lips, "I don't know how you did this but I adore you even more for it." Miles whispers in astonishment, his face near to Gwen and lays their foreheads on one another, he can see the soft tinge of pink rising up from her neck to her cheeks.

 

"I'm glad but I have 1 more gift for you." Gwen murmured quietly, unhurriedly sitting up with Miles to grab her gift just right underneath a distinctive sunflower pillow with a baby deer's head in the center of the flower.

 

Miles will have to snatch that later.

 

Whatever the gift was, it was small that Gwen had suppressed it in her fist, not a single clue of what's inside. Curious, Miles peeks at Gwen and notices how her cheeks had darken into a pretty shade of pink as she seizes one of his hands and gives him—

 

A USB?

 

"It's not really much but I just thought tha— that you know—"

 

Miles darts back at Gwen, encouraging her to take her time responding even though curiousness is ingesting him up on what this gift is about. "I always noticed how much you love listening to music. So I thought that whilst Miguel starts assigning me into more missions, I wanted to explore each of those dimensions and listen to their music and also gather songs that made me think of you and songs I know you might like." Gwen describes slowly to Miles, he bobs his head and smiles then finally understands what the gift is for.. "And I also added songs I wrote about you in it so you could hear them." she looks away in embarrassment, but she couldn't see how Miles was flustered and in tears.

 

He was complimented at the understanding that Gwen paid attention to these songs and instantly thought of him or figured out that he'd enjoy them. She seized on many assignments just so she could compile this much songs for him to enjoy and listen because it's what he loves. Gwen knew how much music means to him and she collected these all just for him. It was overwhelmingly endearing of her, so precious that he gently grabbed her face and started peppering kisses in every single portion of it, causing Gwen to chuckle in shock. He never felt so lucky to have her.

 

Later that night, Miles had insisted that they both listen to each playlist of songs. Giving their thoughts and feelings about how they felt about it. And as they reached the playlist of songs that were written by his girlfriend, he requested if she could maybe sing it to him instead. Without delay, she did what he had pleaded for and he slowly fell asleep in the warmth and comfort of her voice, Gwen shortly follows suit. In the early morning hours, Rio had gently covered the blanket on both of them and took a quick picture for Miles that now served as his new phone wallpaper. Miles had downloaded the songs onto his phone and would listen to them constantly when Gwen was away, sketching every vision and meaning with a big smile on his face...

The End.

- "He draws the stars in his lover's eyes as they only appear when they're together in each other's company."

- "The melodies were sweet and bright as he was that made her adore him more than ever."

[pumpkinrootbeer]

This could differ from person to person but I do believe that at the start, Evan genuinely just wanted to help the Murphys and wasn’t sure how to do that other than to lie and he felt trapped by his situation (for lack of a better word) and that was sort of influenced by what Jared said to him (“you’re seriously gonna tell them all they have left of their dead son is a weird sex letter you wrote?”), though of course I’m not trying to say Jared like, did that maliciously. As time went on, particularly in Act 2, Evan did start to act out selfishly and trying to use his lie with the Murphys as a means to get what he wants rather than actually helping them. I really like your posts analyzing them, honestly Evan and Jared’s dynamic is so interesting, and at the end of the day they’re both just like. Awful teenagers. They need couple’s counseling or something

i absolutely get you, and like you said they're just awful teenagers!! they're kids who are going through so much and have no support, they're going to do stupid shitty things. and of course you're absolutely free to your interpretations!! no shame in interpreting media differently then me :) that's the joy of fandom! And thank you!!! i have really enjoyed rambling abt these losers I love them so much <3

Also you've activated my autism beam and now i get to talk Abt my interpretations even more hahaha my perfect victory.

So first thing, yes! I 100% agree that Evan did want to help the Murphys and try and alleviate some of their pain at the start. But there's a shift at some point throughout the play where it's less about helping them and more about helping Evan, which I think most people agree on that at some point Evan's interests shift to being more self centered— it's just a matter of when that change occurs that people disagree on.

I'm of the opinion that the change happens, or at the very least starts to happen, very early on. I would say the moment Evan's motivations start to shift is when he says the line "They didn't want me to stop." while talking with Jared (and I am going to talk about my interpretation of Jared because I have so much to say about that freak 😭). This is the moment, for me, Evan realizes he's getting positive attention for lying. And that maybe he kind of likes it.

And I've said this in my other posts, but Evan isn't admitting to himself that that's why he's doing this! I don't think he's even aware of why he's really doing this. When he says he's doing it for the Murphys, he genuinely believes that.

The moment where I think he's 100% doing it for himself, even though he doesn't realize it, is Disappear. Because Connor's memory is already forgotten and they are parading this fake version of him around, a fake version of Connor that makes Evan look better and one that is actively causing real Connor to get forgotten faster. And Evan admits in the song that it's also because he doesn't want to be forgotten, which is not this horrible awful thing to feel! Evan isn't a bad person because he doesn't want to be invisible. I don't think Evan is a bad person at all!! What he does that's bad is hijack this tragedy for himself, a thing that again, he doesn't even realize he's doing.

i would definitely agree with you that by act 2, everything is mostly for himself. Cue the "It's not my fault other people can" line. Which I would argue is probably the cruelest thing Evan says in that entire show 😭, and then we get Good for You where Evan realizes things are starting to fall apart and that Alana isn't completely unaware and Evan's hurt her and his mom cares so much and has been so hurt by what Evan has done and that Jared isn't going to always be at his beck and call to write more emails whenever Evan needs him to, and that he's also been hurt by Evan's actions. Probably the most important song in the whole musical tbh. And THEN we get Words Fail where Evan just finally has to come to terms with why he's been doing everything, and it's also such a crucial moment for Evan's character Words Fail baby I love youuuuu.

So yeah! I agree that Evan started out with pure intentions, felt trapped, and then ended up finally feeling seen. He's a complicated character that I think gets watered down to a one dimensional poor anxious bean too much, it does a HUGE disservice to his character. I love canon Evan my perfect asshole son WAAAYYY more than fanon Evan did nothing wrong ever he's too anxious to hurt anyone.

With Jared, I actually think one of the most interesting things about him is that line!! Why does he tell Evan to not come clean? He has nothing to gain from it, he isn't even using the lie to get closer to Evan yet because the lie doesn't really exist! And you can't even argue that he's trying to sabotage Evan in this moment because there's nothing to suggest Jared ever actively tries to ruin Evan's life.

Sure, he says he would if he had that letter but nothing in the show suggests that's something Jared would do. He keeps Evan's lie for him the entire show, even when he has no reason too. Jared had cause and means to ruin Evan's life, but chooses not to again and again. So I'd definitely agree that he's not acting with malintent.

How I read that line, and obviously people are free to disagree, is concern. He is genuinely worried about Evan here and what Evan telling the Murphys will do to Evan. It's not even self preservation because he has nothing to do with this yet!

And because Jared is... well Jared, him looking out for Evan is telling him not to come clean! Nod and confirm, boys. Nod and confirm. Like it's this really imperfect, messy answers right? Because he's a teenager whose go to answer is not telling people shit about what's going on with him. Like, so many of Jared's problems would be solved if he knew how to talk to people, like "Hey Ev you're my only friend and you inventing a fake friend who is your best friend kinda sucks and hurts my feelings. Also this thing you're doing is weird and selfish xoxo love Jared." But he can't say that, because he's well. he's Jared.

And then he just offers to write these emails for Evan, and then continuously tries to do shit for Evan in the second act when Evan wants fuck all to do with him it's literally insane how Jared acts. "I can't do any more emails this weekend I have to hang out with my REAL friends 🙄🙄" to immediately "wait I can help with the project please please involve me in your life" like the lie isn't really holding up there Jared 🤨🤨 and then the invite for Evan to come over and drink and just shoot the shit with him he's clearly so desperate for his friend but he's also such an asshole he had to constantly push Evan away at the same time 😭😭😭😭 OHHHH I love them.

[hanmajoerin]

Things to Keep Summary: There were others who loved and needed Kagome even though InuYasha was meant to be with her. He knew this, but gods, the cost of it. A one-shot that was edited and polished to shine just for its 2nd Anniversary.

A/N: Two years ago today, I thanked a close friend for inspiring me with a dream she had because every day InuYasha spent without Kagome must've felt like an unending dream. A few months ago, I polished up "Things to Keep" and submitted it for a Rumic Fanzine project. Unfortunately it was rejected since I'd already published a previous version, but I still wanted to give this piece back to you because I'd fallen in love with my edits. And more than that, I knew you guys loved the original enough to nominate it for the 2021 2nd Quarterly Inuyasha Fandom Awards and you believed in it enough for the story to win third place in the best one shot category. Thank your support back then (and now, too!), and I hope you enjoy reading this special version, taking note of all the little changes.

-X-

Things to Keep (Anniversary Version)

InuYasha lounged under the shade of one of many trees lining the river near Kaede’s village. Miroku washed his family’s night robes with Gyokuto strapped to his back while Sango burped Kin’u. It’d been over a year since the well sealed. InuYasha still thought about the surprised look on Kagome’s face when he was pulled down the well, but he preferred to remember her safe in her mother’s arms. It was difficult to do. 

Kin’u burped and, within seconds, Sango had the newborn secured to her back. She knelt next to Miroku, telling him she’d take over as if she never stopped. InuYasha’s ear flicked. Despite catching their conversations more often, Sango’s tone was gentler than the half-demon was used to hearing. Miroku switched roles effortlessly, choosing to trade Sango’s clean pieces of laundry for dirty ones. 

And this was how they all lived now: resting by the greenery and exchanging cloth instead of sutras, oversized boomerangs, arrows, and swords. InuYasha wondered if Kagome’s days were boring like his; she always seemed frantic when he came to pick her up. Maybe she didn’t have time to think about them anymore. It would be easier for her that way.

Miroku shifted, putting InuYasha in Gyokuto’s line of vision. The newborn extended her arm out to him, and he was fascinated by the way her fingers flexed. The spaces between them were bigger than last month, putting him in a rotten mood. He hated seeing more of the world through those tiny fingers; it just meant the days Kagome spent here were getting smaller than the time they spent apart—if those types of things could even be compared. InuYasha had never really been around human babies before, so how was he supposed to know whether or not the emptiness Kagome left was even similar to babies growing up? The half-demon sharply turned away to offer Kin’u a passing glance instead. It’d be easier to watch that icicle of drool fall onto Sango’s back. 

The spring sun warmed everything in its path, something that only InuYasha’s legs understood while he lounged. 

Now Kin’u was gurgling, gnawing on her fist. 

Miroku once told him how remarkable it was that he always knew which twin was which, but the monk must’ve forgotten about InuYasha’s nose. The girls looked the same, but their scents were unique. It was kind of like Kikyo and Kagome’s: similar but only on the first sniff.

The afternoons were getting longer again. 

The sun’s reflection on the river’s surface shone like a beam now, hitting InuYasha right in the eyes. He blinked a few times, scowling. Damn thing made it nearly impossible to get a good look at that fibrous white towel, the one with the unmistakable blue polka dots that Sango was taking from Miroku. 

As if possessed by a demon, InuYasha was there. Standing by the river, standing before Sango. ....

Want to read the rest?

"Things to Keep (Anniversary Version)" II AO3 II II Fanfiction.net II

"Things to Keep" (OG) II AO3 II II Fanfiction.net II

[etoile-gracieuse]

im so sorry yall im regressing into all sorts of old obsessions these days.

just saw a post talking abt why dex (and jack at one point) from check please would be banned from aux at parties (im not reblogging bc it is from 2020 and i dont want to argue with anyone i just want to explain why im right LMAO) and all of the reasons they gave were. What. i had a haus of my own, only for a significantly larger team (track not hockey), and i know my experience is not universal and there's definitely someone out there who Also had a team and a team house w big parties that disagrees w everything i say etc etc but like. it is so odd to see people's ideas abt how that goes when it's the complete opposite of my experience

me rambling abt expectations vs reality for music at parties hosted by doofus athletes for doofus athletes below the cut with a short aside about how canon's housing is deeply confusing to me

it's not just party music assumptions that confuse me, it's on all sorts of levels, like the haus being their only team related off campus space. we had... 11?? off campus houses?? and even if you narrow it down to just houses w mens distance runners in it (approx the same number of people as umich's hockey team rosters) then we had 5 houses plus underclassmen in dorms. like the math is not mathing if there's just the 3 bedroom plus attic haus. what 21/22 year old is choosing to live in a traditional dorm. there's just no way your options as an upperclassman are "be lucky enough to be one of Maybe 6 that can squeeze in if several people share rooms" or "live in dorms. hopefully you get a single" when theoretically they should be averaging like 6.5 people per class year. not the point, a gripe i have w canon really anyways, whatever.

but the collective sense of what goes for party music... i get that the canon era is like 2013 to 2018 or so but like i have met some of our class of 2018 alumni. and i feel preeetty confident in saying the below was also true then.

'he would play come on eileen [and get banned]' - im sorry but that was played at LEAST once per party at my athlete frat house, how is that an aux-bannable offense

"they would be like 'we want party music not sea shanties'" - shipping up to boston is a Thing (capital T deserved). and rattlin bog. do you know how many drinks i have finished while listening to/playing rattlin bog. that is a classic drinking game (i double checked to make sure this wasnt invented like right before i hit college or smthn and found a tweet referencing it from 2014). also we did actually several sea shanties at a st pattys party (our aux guy did have to be bullied into it. worth it) though i would not say that that one's a universal experience.

"this absolute ding dong [jack] says 'i like carrie underwood' and is never asked for his input again" - you're telling me you haven't gotten down in a house full of stolen signs that is falling apart at the seams to before he cheats???? i have watched 22 year old 6'7" men stand on tables and truly Perform their hearts out to this song and you're telling me that holster wouldn't pull that shit?

"plays country and gets banned" - see: before he cheats. but also our most popular party theme (aside from disco i think) was farm party. we had hay bales and apple bobbing. our number of international harvester streams hit double digits before midnight. i did not go to college in the south, or in the middle of nowhere, or any of that. even city kids like to get drunk in overalls and cowboy hats singing about farmers' daughters sometimes

"he just plays dad rock" - i think once again people underestimate how hard college kids go for shit like that when theyre drunk. i have watched people pole dance around a basement support beam to billy joel and bruce springsteen before (admittedly not super frequently but also often enough that i think i have 2-3 videos of it happening). ok actually im looking at a dad rock list and. what do you mean people havent danced to queen at parties. or the killers? or the fratellis? no chelsea dagger or henrietta? no american pie at 2am when youre so tired you can hardly keep your eyes open but youre leaning on your friends and swaying enough to call it dancing so it's ok?? no the boys are back in town???

[life-love-and-lotr]

@chaos-in-bright-pink-hair-dyes Killjoy Week Day 5- Hopeful Lies. T.W Injury description

"Jet, will Ghoul be OK?"

Jet wasnt sure. The sounds of Ghoul screaming in pain echoed in his ears, brining him an immense feeling of dread.

"Of course he will. He just needs some time to heal thats all."

"But you said he has a hole in his cheek. That sounds like it sucks"

Jet stopped and nodded. Everything was going to shit and he felt like the world was falling apart. But he wasnt going to tell her that. He needed to think of something to reassure her and quick.

"Well, I think he needs some company. His been stuck in that room by himself for three days now. He would be very happy to see you."

Motorbaby took some time to consider whether she wanted to see him hurt, then decided that she missed her big brother too much. So she bravely opened the door and let herself in. The sight which greeted her was something she was not expecting.

She couldn't see Ghouls face. All she saw was a white blob with two small beady eyes sticking out of the bed. She worried that he was not happy to see her, but by the time she got to his bedside, she saw his eyes beaming with excitement. Ghoul went to speak but was muffled by the linen bandage covering his mouth. He gestured to his face and then to Jet, who rolled his eyes.

"Fine, I will take it off. But only to give you some fresh air and to give you a new one. No pushing it ya hear me."

Ghoul nodded his head in agreement and motioned for Motorbaby to sit next to him in the bed. She did and was enveloped by Ghoul's world famous hug. She sunk into it, letting the blankets cover her face. Even though she was happy to see him, she wasn't thrilled to see his new injury. By the time she got up to take a breath, Jet had finnished taking them off and went to get new gauze.

There was one thing Motorbaby was certain about. And that was that Jet was right about Ghoul's new wound. It was horrible. There was a big hole in the side of his face. It was red and raw, showing muscle and teeth. It was hastily sewn together with stitches that were uneven across his cheek. Motorbaby hesitantly reached out to touch it before Ghoul tenderly moved it away.

"I know, it's a massive hole, isn't it? What sort of things do you think I can fit through it. I think it's big enough for at least a soda can. Maybe even an XL Power Pup can if pushed through hard enough." He said with a lisp. He then stuck his tongue through a gap in the stitches, gearing up to lick Motorbaby.

"Put your tounge away. You are not risking infection just because you want to show off", said Jet as he walked back into the room with his hands full of gauze.

"Ah fine. But don't think I am gonna be happy about it".

Jet rolled his eyes then turned on his heals to leave the room again. Ghoul, being the idiot he was, had torn out some of his stiches. They needed sewing up again before any more damage could been done. When he came back into the room with all the tools needed to sterilise his equiptment, he noticed the terror on his sisters face.

"Hey Baby, can you help me? Ghoul squirms around alot and I need a hand to keep him still. Give him lots and lots of love. I know that will work"

She tried to keep the tears from falling, but she was really struggling. One of her big brothers was hurt and she couldnt do anything to stop being in pain. And now she had a big grown up job, one that was vital to help? That was something that scared her more than anything.

Then she looked up to Ghoul. He smiled at her as best he could and patted her head in reassurance. Then he held her hand as Jet worked, gently squeezing it when he needed a bit of support. He never let on that it hurt like hell, just let Motorbaby do her job.

After Jet was done, he gestured to the door.

"Lets let Ghoul rest now. We can come to see him tomorrow. I think I heard Kobra is back from the track. He'll be dying to see you"

Motorbaby excitedly got off the bed, waved at Ghoul as she left the room. She closed the door and made her way to annoy Kobra.

Jet watched her as she left, taking in her joy at Kobra coming home. A part of him wanted to hold on to her innocence forever. Another part knew she had already seen too much already. He hoped that his lying was worth it. That pretending everything was ok would fix the hole in her chest and give her hope. Just like everyone else did.