#everything you want is extra
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partake in the divine dance if you want any desire of yours to happen
#why i dont worry anymore#my only worry is about other people#and even then ill let go of it too#ill be free#when i was younger i declared that ive worried enough#but now i live it#i live in a state of faith#that's not easily shaken#even when it is i naturally come back to it#it's its own reward#everything you want is extra
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it mattered because when my brother asked me what if this is the happiest you'll ever be? the best you'll ever get? the thing i felt was fear, not peace. everybody thought you were so perfect for me. even i thought you were "helping me grow". i had to challenge every internal clock. make myself more thoughtful, more kind, more beautiful.
i told my therapist it was good because i like the changes i made and there's something so strong about saying i did that. the problem is that i can like the difference all i want, but i changed for you. something akin to getting your name tattooed, all my progress is stamped with fuck you.
it was the happiest i'd ever been and also the best i'd ever gotten. i would still get in the car and think what the fuck just happened.
#warm up#writeblr#i spent a lot of time picturing our future#how funny to think: in each version of our future#i was never myself#i was someone smarter kinder braver#better adept.#who could navigate the way you shouted and got angry at small things and never fucking believed the best of me#i would never be needy and you'd never get tired of me#people usually talk about how we picture people as being “fixable”. but i assumed i was the problem. my idyllic picture wasn't of you.#it was a version of me that wasn't ill. that needed no extra help. that could be your wife and happy#the fact i wasn't happy was because there is something so wrong inside me. it's always been that way. i convinced myself:#if i stay i can change. if i stay i can make it worth it. i can apologize and fix this. and make us both okay.#for the last year i've been thinking about how you blamed our whole breakup on me. how it was my fault for whatever thing.#and i agreed with you. because of course i did. you'd trained me to believe everything was my fault . that you wanted to love me and i made#it far too hard. that i was always finding ways to ''set you off'.#a few days ago while i was doing something else#i realized that while i was in crisis you told me to fuck off and find someone else to get help. and you never fucking apologized .#you said i made you do that because i wasn't being sensible. i had been crying too hard to speak clearly.#you said: you're doing this to manipulate me.#you forgave yourself for that. i had to forgive you without apology. you said you were right to react that way. and then you were SO#SO annoyed. any time i said: i feel like you aren't nice to me. it is hard to trust that you love me.#i don't think about you that much anymore. but these days when i do: all i can think is that im not sure u ever really understood kindness#you were the cruelest to the people closest to you. and most of the time. that meant it fell to me.
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pouty lips and :] yoongi for @yooboobies ♡ cr. namuspromised
#yoongi#min yoongi#suga#bts#btsedit#btsgif#yoongiedit#gif#userkelli#usersky#annietrack#userdimple#raplineuser#rjshope#tuserandi#useremmeline#usermaggie#dailybts#i know you're missing him extra today... just wanted to make you smile a little 🥺🌸 and this is also a way to say thank you for everything#and for always being so cyoote (!!!) with me. i'm so glad that i have you here 💗 i love u i love u i love u
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say what you want about svsss but hands down the most distraught i have ever been while reading a mxtx novel is after the bing-ge extra. what do you mean he asked shen qingqiu to come with him. what do you mean “it’s not fair”. what do you mean he looked back.
#svsss#luo binghe#luo bingge#lbh#meta stuff#every time i read that part i literally have to just stop to recover#because what the hell. he’s making his escape but at the last moment he turns.#he turns and looks back and then he vanished forever. and the narration is shocked#that it was so easy.#what in the eurydice mangan’s sister and lot’s wife have you done to me#turned into a pillar of salt#i don’t know if i have it in me to be more eloquent about this. it’s just.#out of everything this is just the ultimate tragedy#the fact that it’s just part of an extra. the FIRST extra#i just sit there like i’m supposed to just move on from that????? i’m supposed to read ahead and watch bingqiu fuck#and not want to rip my own heart out??????#i just. i just. i said i’m not ready to get into it with svsss i just know it’ll break me
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My comic is so pretty...
The hiatus is letting me take a little extra time on these episodes, and I'm definitely putting it to good use!!!
#almost done with my 8th episode... which will give me. two weeks. of buffer...#id really like at LEAST a month... but to be more comfortable id like two#which means 2-6 more episodes before I come back!#I've got about 7 weeks so its possible. but i do still have to finish book 4#so much to do ..........#I decided for my next comic im doing 3 updates a month.#having 10 days instead of 7 to make an episode is such a huge huge huge difference...#difference in quality and in my health!#anyways the comic is really pretty im really happy with the work im doing rn#the environments especially. im getting to spend a nice amount of time on them and theyre turning out so nicely#its nice to be able to write with a lot of different environments and not have to redo panels when I get to them cause of time#cause every time theres a wild angle? you need a new background...#so sometimes. often actually. there just isnt the time to make the backgrounds for those and i have to make them more flat...#which is fine. it doesnt really affect anything narratively. but. idk. it's kinda sad right?#anyways yeah! 10 days will be much better.#36 episodes a year is about what ive been uploading with my hiatuses on the weekly schedule anyways!#so might as well cut out that super stressful middleman and just commit to that#52 a year is just such a huge difference and i have to accept its not possible to me#i will hurt myself trying to do that. and i want to make comics my whole life!#so i cant push myself that hard now and sacrifice my future. we're gonna go slower after this...#anyways yeah cant wait to come back but also time. if I could get an extra week like a secret one just for me#where theres no chores no nothin just me and my work#thatd be great! so go ahead and do what you gotta do to give me a little pocket dimension#me: ugh i want to return right now...#the more logical me: NO we need the time to finish everything!!!!!! NOT right now!!!!#time and time again#ttawebcomic#comic panels#hiatus stuff#adam and steve
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carefully attempted to draw (still sick); wanted to give Shargon another redesign, this is an older version of him but the basics should also go for his younger self (idk yet about his lung replacement design; arms are posed weird to make anatomy clearer)
(wip, oc art, Shargon, he/they)
#ganondoodles#art#oc#oc art#wip#character design#im really liking this one ngl#posted this on twitter but didnt here bc its just a wip but .. idk how far i will get with this lol#i know barely anyone is interested in oc art#especially when its not my usual big buff type i love so much#everything needs a lil variety tho!#and this build just fits shargon more than the typical#if anyone can make sense of it-#the extra arms he gets (red ones) are bc he gains another heart from Eadrya so he has two hearts and two elements now thus changed#(dw Eadrya is fine .... it makes sense in lore but its alot to explain and i dont think anyone would care anyway)#not trying to be dismissive- just realistic to save myself the time writing it and disappointment when no one reads it :U#i need to put more effort into oc art if i want anyone to care#at least i know Eadrya has always at least one fan (thank you calamity <3)
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Done (heavy quotation marks) with monster Ody @evergreen292 ;)
tbh I couldn’t for the life of me pick a color palette I liked And Render it so I gave up on color. Enjoy the half assery.
Tbh I’ve just been call it Ithacan Naga, but it’s objectively it’s a mix of snake, owl/bird, and human. So 🤷.
Tbh the wings are supposed to be white/gray-brown, cause owls & Hermes, while his scales are supposed to be an oscillating scale from sea green-blue to purple-tinted gray. Uhm. Evidently that sorta didn’t happen but also did. So.
The purple/grayer scales are gonna be more around with the feathers and wings.
Those fin colors are. Too blue and too bright but I love the colors themselves so they’re staying for now.
Uhm. That’s it for now, ig. I’m sorta on a timer rn and I’m tired so <3
The writing bit with this is still in the works (😭)
#Odysseus#epic the musical#Ithacan naga au#guess that’s what we’re calling it#an Ithacan naga would deadass just be an aquatic naga#I think#the feathers and wings are cause he’s Zeus/Hermes’ kin & Athena blessed#tbh the main reason i wanted to color at all is cause I wanted easier differentiation between… everything. and actually draw the scales.#so snakes have this extra (?) bone that connects their skull & jaw which is what lets them extend it. so. ody gets that here.#resting/casual naga ody is like. 7ish ft? anything intimindation or just rising usually reaches 11-12 ft. his full length js 20 ft#naga eyes don’t have any eyelids. it looks very odd on a human (unsettling)#owl eyes don’t really have visible white scelcra#or however you spell it#nor do snakes#unsettling#maybe I’ll caption this later but hhhhh#he’s sorta supposed to be an olive sea snake and fish owl#but fuck colors rn#uhm cause he’s aquatic I suppose he does have to make up with Poseidon… uhm let’s say after everything Seidon picks up a fuss and Athena#argues back n everything and it causes a reallllly big fuss so Zeus (+ others) eventually work smth out that basically amounts to:#Don’t fuckin bother each other (intentionally)#also endgame for naga ody (he can change back and forth dw) is that he gets used to it. he doesn’t advertise it cause he’s sneaky like that#(and after he gets over the self loathing). uhmmm. yeah. It’s great cause NEREID PEN and SEA NAGA ODY#they can go on sea hunts together!!!!#ody CAN fly yes. same logic that lets Hermes fly with 2 small pairs of wings on his ankles and head.#he folds the wings when swimming and the fins fan out underwater. vice versa. his feathers are waterproof.#you can BARELY see the vauge shape of thighs/legs melting into the serpent part btw.#Ari’s art#my art#I’mma add onto this + actually type this out in a post later or smth
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So I may have spent several hours making fake military documents for revenant AU... maybe...
Ghost and Soap's files have notes from the 141's Spiritulogist, who had to change a few things after the events of the first part. They're gonna be an important character in the second part, but for now I'll leave them unnamed.
Under the cut are the 141's photos from their files (including Ghost's uncensored face, which is a sketch I posted a few days ago)
Price looks so weird without his hat...
#call of duty modern warfare 2#cod soap#cod ghost#cod gaz#cod price#revenant au#cod fanart#not tagging everything bc I dont want to bother other ppl lurking in the tags...#did you know price is canonically 38?? hes the only one with a confirmed age#ghost really doesn't have any info (predictably) so i censored everything fuck it his blood type is classified#i had a lot of fun doing this tbh i love making extra stuff for my stories that is like... in universe#like maps or docs like this#unnamed Spiritulogist will get a side story... eventually
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itfs + reader is so real to me and it works like this: you’re megumi’s childhood best friend, somewhere along the way he meets yuuji, yuuji asks him out, and somewhere along the way—probably mid blowjob or something becuase that’s definitely when yuuji would be thinking about it—yuuji’s like “hey, so do you know you’re in love with your best friend or what?” and megumi literally chokes, and avoids him for like a week but eventually he does admit that he does know, but he also does really like yuuji and if they were normal, they’d break up, but they’re so very far from normal that it becomes a whole thing for them to get off while talking about you, for yuuji to taunt megumi about how he wishes you were here between them and tease him about naughty it is that he fantasizes about his best friend while getting sucked off by his boyfriend, and for megumi to tell him to shutup but then he babbles about all of he pent up fantasies about you anyway. yuuji likes messing with megumi’s guilt about this, and megumi hates how much he likes that yuuji is also into you, and somehow you being oblivious to this is a whole other kink they’ve got going on and have no idea how to sort out
#yuuji is so messed up in the head i PROMISE you this#he is the driving force between making everything a little bit weirder than it needs to be#also imagine that you and yuuji become friends once he and megumi starts dating which was cool for megumi at first#yk both people he loves like each other#but it becomes unbearable for megumi once yuuji Knows megumi is in love with you#because now yuuji likes to be Extra close to you likes to smush you and megumi together because he knows megumi wants so much more#and maybe a little bit of it is for himself too bc you're pretty and you and megumi sure do look pretty together#also it's yuuji that does the eventual seducing of you and you freak out#bc he kisses you or something and ur like nonononnonononono youre megumi's boyfriend he's gonna kill me and hate me forever#and yuujis like so what if I told you me kissing you what megumi's idea...#anyway...........#also yuuji just loves to drive home the idea that you and megumi were best friends#its a weird sort of vouyeristic corruption he has going on#like he indulges in watching u two ruin ur friendship... evil....#💌
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#I also think american exceptionalism and their bizarre cultural one-way street isolation plays a role#i think it's different if you actually see other countries as equals and see that they have female leaders and realise that it's#not going downhill it's not solving everything it's business as usual and it's just another boring fucking politician#and this makes the gender of the candidate LESS (not saying no) issue people obsess about or feel a need to discuss#(e.g. people laying into the appearance of female politicians? certainly misogyny. making jokes about cooking and shoes? definitely too#but I feel like that was more a 'gotta insult these fucking politicians' and gender being one of the targets when people want to do that)#but if you're the US and giant parts of the populace think they're the specialmost extra complicatedest country in this our planetworld#the fact that it works for so many other countries takes a much lower priority#because 'yeah sure a woman can govern a....'checks notes' Fineland and United Kingdom of England or Germanland'#but the US of freedom? we got a red button and what if she's on her period!!?! We are a REAL country!!'#not to mention how deeply entrenched the idea of the US as being CONSTANTLY under attack is and the president as the PROTECTOR#and that protector needs to be daddy of course#i also think the different attitude to leaders plays a role#because a part of misogyny is how much people love to HATE women - to sink their teeth into them and demonise them for every flaw#so any country that has some kind of weird worship of their leaders or sees them as some heroes or extra-class of person*#in my opinion might have a harder time to elect a woman because the moment a woman becomes a candidate#you just have to find the right flaw to go on and on about to make the population absolutely hate her or question her competency#meanwhile the general slack we cut men means they can do whatever but somehow still be compatible with that concept of leadership#(*not just the US ....though a lot of other countries with similar attitudes to their leaders are not standing out as democracies tbh)
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I need fold Javier, pls :3
A beautiful man in square form
links to Arthur, John and tutorial for feet
#I really couldn’t think of any extra items for him#so he gets a wanted poster of himself#rdr2#red dead redemption two#red dead redemption 2#paper craft#papercraft#javier escuella#my art#btw anything that says fold just means you fold it in half flat#and fold BEFORE you glue then cut#shine it up to a light to make sure both sides match 👍#everything else you should cut first
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I hate the stretch lines in the front of Curly's uniform because that means the devs rushed to make a model in like a month or so and thought "They gotta at least know he has huge knockers, gotta know he's got back pain." Cause like what is the thematic importance of his tits having overhang?
What responsibility is that representing? Breast reduction? It shows an inherent greed in his character due to the excess and heshouldletmeholdone and that he clearly is blinded cause if he tries to look down his damn ladder all he's seeing is his own cleavage.
#this is my curly slander post ig#disclaimer i need you to understand i see all fictional men i like as like butches Curly is no exception#but like they didnt need to add that many polygons to his chest like its unnessary and honestly a little mean he already has so many things#to handle and you expect him to hold those boys up like that just aint right this is like something so stupid but i know you can tell im#having strong feelings about it cause like what was the point why did they survive the fucking crash it has to be a injoke at this point#with the devs it shouldnt make me this mad im turning into a misandrist but only towards large chested men#mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#shitpost#suggestive#ig because this is just about his chest but like also they made him objectively pretty for no reason like yeah like ideal man and work ig#but they went over the extra mile like i have a right to be mad they did that much for a model we see canonically for like two seconds its#crazy actually how little we see of curly pre crash because we also lose his physical movements to help characterize him the way we see#body language with the other characters and how it gives way to their struggles and personalities and sentiments in certain moments#like all he does and how he emotes is stifled by the fact we always play as him until the last moments where he takes over to try and save#the ship and crew and even right before that the scene is so wrought with tension we cant tell what that look he gave Jimmy meant due to#the limitations of the models and how stiff Curly is like was it fear acceptance denial we dont know enought about how he acts himself#to tell and then everything else is charaterized by what Jimmy had done to where we dont really just get to see Curly as himself like Anya#and Swansea and Daisuke we have no idea how theyd act in a regular moment outside of a few glimpses and even then it is them doing#their jobs like grrrr we hate an unreliable narrator but also its the fact jimmy clearly does not interact with them or try to outside of#his position as copilot and then captain harkening back to the entire capitlist view of utility and how he views all of them as useless eve#Curly which fandom tangent the fandom also tends to do to Curly as they base every trait on what they think he failed to do as Captain#between Jimmy and Anya when the QnAs kinda make him out to be a rather open and willing person but still someone who isnt like a push over#just thinking of QnA three where it mentions hes very open to trying new things and you need to be an open minded person to open urself up#to failure like that and ig this is just the weird view that Curly needs to learn that or that theres redemption he needs personality wise#verses healing and learning from trauma like idk its the idea that people assume he did abosultely nothing when the games points out direct#and throught parallels he was taking actions its just wasnt enough and an over focus on absolute inaction vs ineffective methods used to#tackle the issues and themes the game grapples with plus wanting someone to take the blame and have to make it up to Anya even tho#i think it would mean nothing from Curly because she saw his efforts and would be disappointed it wasnt enough but the idea she would#disregard the attempts or not acknoweldge Jimmy as the epicenter compared ot Curly is weird and too focused on someone
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Why did you do it? I don't know what you're talking about. I was drunk that night, and you told me you would always look at me— You want to get back at me, right?
KISEKI: DEAR TO ME Ep. 09
#kiseki: dear to me#kisekiedit#kdtm#kiseki dear to me#ai di x chen yi#chen yi x ai di#louis chiang#chaing tien#jiang dian#nat chen#chen bowen#userspring#userrain#uservid#userspicy#userjjessi#pdribs#*cajedit#*gif#WE LOVE WHEN AI DI IS A BITCH. 10/10 NO NOTES. just. be a freak about it why dont you i love this for him#its actually insane how good of a liar he is. like........he really truly seems so unbothered by everything#but no matter what he says the idea of something casual is the last thing he could ever want. its so painful for him#and he only pushes the idea because he doesnt think chen yi will ever ever love him seriously OR casually#as if the idea of being with him could anger chen yi. SHOULD anger chen yi. because of how preposterous it is#but he also feels like he owes chen yi. like. ai di literally thought that after prison chen yi would never seek him out#would never want to speak to him ever again and he thinks thats BETTER for them too bc he cant take back what he did AND#he cant take back his own vulnerability. but he cant take anything casual with chen yi so he hides behind this facade of being uncaring#that chen yi KNOWS is FALSE and that BREAKS ME. his face as ai di pushes past him.......ow.#a more openly expressive version of 'i know he's lying to me but i dont understand whats going on and that HURTS me' but Extra Painful#because ai di is all chen yi wants. and - 'an explanation'... he wants ai di to want him too
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What your favorite mean girls ship says about you
Cadnis: You're a theater kid and there's a good chance you're neurodivergent. If you're a writer, you're just a silly goofy guy (you have committed atrocities).
Rejanis: You love heart-rending, soul-crushing angst with a side of angry kissing, and you've probably struggled with self hatred at some point in your life.
Cadina: *Tiktok voice* We get it! You like this one!! (You want sexual tension thick enough to cut with a knife and you're probably a Reneé Rapp stan)
Fetchen: I mean this with all of the love in the world, but this is the junk food of ships. You want your tooth rotting fluff with the emotional depth of a puddle, and in this world? Who can blame you.
Polystics: You thought "Hey, wouldn't it be funny-” ONE TIME and then immediately fell into the vortex.
Regret: Your ship is wish fulfillment with a sole target audience of Gretchen "Please don't ignore me" Weiners. I don't think anything I could say would be more biting than that fact
Karina: Unfortunately, you do not exist outside of my mind palace. But if you did exist, you'd definitely be a friends to lovers girlie.
Jaren: You're my best friend <3 hi parker.
Jatchen: You're one of the surprisingly few people in this fandom who can't bring themselves to forgive Regina George.
Damiaaron: You are the "gays" part of "the girls and the gays". But also you don't exist, this is no one's favorite
Cadaaron: Who are you and how did you get into Lesbianism: The Fandom? Are you lost?
Caden: wouldn't you like to know weather boy
Cadchen: Ok, the tags are partially a lie solely because I've never considered this particular ship before right now as I'm writing this and I'm not sure why not.
#obligatory disclaimer that this post is all in jest#and if it makes you feel better as a multishipper i have literally shipped everything on this list at some point#yes even THAT one#i hope y'all like my rarepair naming abilities i wanted to be extra thorough#mean girls musical#mean girls#mean girls 2024#mean girls broadway
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I wasn't going to give my opinion on this but I actually think making Ripleys tragic backstory include Trent was great because it makes all those old c2 memes about how veth should've just pulled out her gun and shot him thematically relevant and that's all that matters to me honestly
#considered saying sorry about making everything about veth but 1. i get to be extra annoying when shes back tonight#2. you followed me what are you going to do next get mad dairy queens got to much ice cream?#tlovm spoilers#when you think about it its actually a really serious dilemma#on one hand veth deserves to do whatever she wants and win every fight on the other hand ripley deserves to never succeed ever
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observations about Devil's metal body that make me feel normal
it's ornate. there are vine/floral patterns. there are alternating colors of metal. purely aesthetic things that Galvino didn't have to put there but still did
she has fingernails (mentioned in a voice line) and sculpted realistic ears
her face is a solid mask
her face is a solid mask
literally I think the only range of facial expression she has is by moving her eyes???
you went to the trouble of engraving decorative patterns and sculpting ears and fingernails but you didn't bother with facial expressions. and why would you. if your main priority is making this body aesthetically pleasing rather than convenient to live in
Galvino I just want to talk
#pillars of eternity#devil of caroc#it will be a while until I actually get to replaying TWM so studying her Everything Else in the meantime#something about Galvino and 'just give me numbers Devil' and making all these extra efforts to make her aesthetic but not expressive#it's like. you don't want to remember. that your 'subjects' are people#also something about Devil writing out the names and occupations/little details about the people she brings in#something something her being honest with herself about what she does vs Galvino trying to abstract it all away#I need to replay TWM1 or dig through the stringtables and try to figure out whether her new body was meant to resemble her old one at all#because from what I remember the deal with Galvino happened on pretty short notice? like the golem body would have taken months to make#and from how she talks about it it sounds like there wasn't a lot of time between her being captured and her soul bein transferred???#but I might be misremembering because. uh. Galvino just happened to have a fully functional specifically female folk-looking golem ready?#herearedragons meta
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