#everything went better than expected
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I want what they have...
#my art#sf#star fetchers#sanyati#zambezi#good news girls I turned my term paper in in time and now I can relax for the first time in weeks#everything went better than expected
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I know this is prob a dumbass thing to be happy about kinda, but I had a long debate over gender yesterday with a conservative Christian bro, and at the end he said I made good points and he disagrees, but will consider what I said. Like 🥹 did I just throw a starfish closer to the water
#idk i dont need a butter cookie or anything#just its so rare to have a person actually hear what youre saying#more and more ive gotten into the habit of asking questions instead of arguing points#i gave my hair category analogy and he was like#thats nothing like gender and you know it#and i was like#ok how are they different#and he didnt have a response but its not like a gotcha its like#thats something to think about later my dude good luck#if you come up with a response and you wanna discuss it im here#hes engaged some ppl with horrible bigotry and was like#nobody will let me discuss it#and i was like you can discuss it#if you cant do it without breaking hate speech tos thats not the subject matters fault#and he was like fine ill prove it#and idk im just#everything went better than expected
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long way down
#doodles#art#character design#original character#original art#oc#my oc#tessa#static sky#sketches#style inspired by pandeemoneeum on toyhouse#i've needed a vacation so bad for like 3 years and i finally sorta get one (two days of convention)#and i get back and i am. as expected. Revitalized. i am ready to Draw. and i did i did some shop stuff#and THEN.... i got a cold from my dad and there went all that energy. oh . my god.#unfair that i avoided con plague just to get backstabbed at home. unfair. unfair. im suing#this was supposed to have a color to it but i did it in black and white first and it looks much better than everything else i tried#and so it stays
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anyways a good personal thing to share now: I got top surgery last week!!?!?!!! insane cos I went in to the hospital for a breast reduction and like. a few hours before the surgery the doctor without me saying anything said she could gimme top surgery instead. um yes pls so epic based???
#hasnt quite sunk in yet lmaoo but im sooo happy#^the reason i was gonna get a breast reduction was cos my mum is anti my being a trans so idk i guess she thought it would fix me#And i wouldn't have been able to get top surgery on my own finances for ages and i agreed cos it would be better than nothing#that went SO much better than expected omg#also rlly funny to me that i still dont have a gender dysphoria diagnosis or have been through any official medical channels at all#since ive been diying t as well#anyways still in the compression binder/drains/everything is so uncomfortable stage of healing#but soon... hot boy summer incoming or something idk#marchibald's#trans
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letting myself unmask has been so nice at times because i'm seeing my boyfriend express joy much more readily too. who knew me being expressive and all that would do so much good!!!
#today was touch and go but overall much better than yesterday where i was watching a musical (not my thing) and it was legally blonde (cool)#but everyone's voices were so shrill (ouch) and the audience was clapping (ouch) and talking a lot (ouch)#and i was three rows back from the stage so the lights were bright (ouch) and there were strobe lights (ouch) and the person seated next to#me kept touching me when she turned to talk to the person next to her..... AND my joints were killing me but we had to walk everywhere from#the theatre to the restaurant we ate at for dinner. which was a byob. and i didn't know we were going to a byob or i would've b'd my own b#but my bf's family doesn't drink so it would've been awkward anyway. and no one talks to me and i don't talk to anyone but yet i'm expected#to be there for some reason (??) i'd rather stay home honestly. horrible time. i couldn't even vape because of said family#so i had zero pain or anxiety relief that whole time. and i had the longest meltdown in the theatre. and i couldn't finish bc intermission#so i had to just like. force it down so i could sit there in silence for 15 minutes while everyone else talked to each other.#and then after all that we still had a 40 minute car ride back home. with my bf's mom.#and then today she invited us to the park with her and my bf was like 'do you wanna?' and i couldn't say no in front of her so i said yes#and then felt SO anxious because god. i just needed A Day. so then i shut down. but then i communicated what i was needing to my bf#and we had a nice walk at a different park on our own. phew#i do Not mean to complain but goodness. pre-autism i would've blamed myself for everything that happened#but now i can properly commiserate with people who understand me LOL anyway. look at some of the crazy shit i went through yesterday
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What if Chay moves on from Kim and starts bringing over people from clubs and college parties to the minor family house ? He picks them carefully , he now knows how to , they're usually vaguely aware of who he is. They also know enough to not question the security surrounding him and his "house". He's learnt to protect himself from people who get close only with their selfish ulterior motives.
He's only young and in college once. He's gonna enjoy it goddamnit.
Except once when Kim comes over to the minor fam house at Kinn's request for "personally verifying the money leaks Porsche found out and see if he could update the security in any way possible while he's at it " , and he runs a *bit* late . Kim gracefully accepts Porsche's invitation to "crash opposite to Chay's room , that's where his friends stay over sometimes . Chay's my brother by the way, have you guys met?😄".
And Kim has to listen to Porchay and some ba**ard loudly make their way to Porchay's suite in what was so late at night that it was early in the morning , even by Kim's standards.
Pants , purrs . *Moans.* F#cking moans.
And thuds of flesh on the wall when they got too excited and tripped on the carpet. Laughs and giggles. Not a care as to who might hear.
Kim thought it would end once they got in the suite . Well he was wrong. He had to listen to every single whimper, shout and cry ; and finally understood why the maid explained how Khun Porchay prefers the entire floor to himself for his music usually .
He couldn't sleep even after it got fully quiet . He couldn't sleep for a long time after .
#porsche is blissfully unaware of everything#except the mafia he's getting pretty good with practice maybe even better than kinn#Kim purposefully made it late to stay over except porchay got home 4 hours later than he expected#also who's to say that Kim won't find a lovebite riddled macau cooking a light breakfast and coffee the next morning around noonish#when he himself went to the kitchenette to get a strong cup of coffee fir battling hus mother sleepless night#macau might have been whistling along to a cherry wik song while flipping pancakes and finishing off with a smiley face on top#and kim fully realises what he's lost for the first time ever#thai boys love series#thai drama#thailand#thai bl series#kinnporsche#asian lbgtq dramas#kinnporche the series#kimchay#jeff satur#be on cloud#barcode tinnasit#ta nannakun#i always imagine ta as macau idk why he's just a perfect macau in my mind#I'm kimchi through and through but this took root in my mind a couple of days back and won't let go#jealous kim is my jam#macauchay#i guess??#battle his sleepless night i meant*#cheery wik song *#also bonus that kim had to listen to the early morning round when he comes back with a very sad black coffee and apple
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Andrey being in Washington without his team and without Rublo kits (his team is on vacation and the kits havent arrived yet) might be the either worst or best thing ever. Its either out in first round or winning the whole thing.
#like you just never know and its the first time it happens#he was surprised practice went better than expected and well#also he talked much about how hes just changing the way he thinks off the court and focusing on certain things and why hes thinking things#hurts to know that hes struggling so much but glad that he might found a way to handle it but hope its not just him pushing everything away#andrey rublev#tennis
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wtf hey gang
you're never gonna guess who it is LMFAOAOAOAO
HELLO WORLD IM BACKKKKKKKKK sorry for not writing for a while............. i've been going thru some whack shit lately but i graduated a couple weeks ago so that's pretty awesome!! hopefully i'll actually be able to get back into the flow of writing cuz i have 60 somethin' asks that i've been neglecting since scott pilgrim takes off came out??
also please expect more ghost content because i saw rite here rite now last night (REALLY FUCKING GOOD BTW I CRODE) and i am very much back to my natural state of fixating on the ghouls
#twiix rambles#feels good to be back honestly#i forgot about this blog for the longest time#which i do feel kinda bad about#i just haven't had like#much of a drive to write at all for about a year#went through a lot of stuff this year#sorta been working on my mental health#trying to better myself as a person#things have been hard#and i do feel really guilty about not posting#so many neglected asks#i love rambling in the tags as if people are gonna read all of this mumbo jumbo#tldr im back and im gonna try writing again#expect slowish updates#thank you for everything though guys#there is nothing that makes me happier than seeing that people are still reading my writing years later#i've improved so much as time has passed and im very proud of myself#im very proud of how far i've come#i owe it all to you guys :3
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so... i've been thinking about auriel again because i actually did have an account for her once upon a time (just on another platform) + all i can remember is doing this roleplay on there with barton immediately asking the person whom told him they saw her was whether she was okay because she had went missing with no trace for years after all. and additionally, this was also while shedding tears like there was NO tomorrow, which is 😭 like he isn't a good person, y'all, but he does have his moments where it actually seems like he genuinely cares about people
#OF MONSTERS AND MEN: musings.#ooc post.#and to expand on this i'm going back to the point that i believe i stated a long time ago about barton being confusing at times#i mean as a character OFC because he did things like take jack julien and ben in without expecting anything in return from them#man's just spotted jack and julien in particular after they'd been abandoned by their foster parent + he saw themselves in them a#little bit because at a very young age he went from having one person in his life to having none. and barton himself knows that his dad was#a POS while he was alive but he wanted so badly to be loved by him even though wesley usually never gave him the time of day#if he wasn't actively being barton's ab*ser and this made his feelings towards wesley more complicated than one could explain even#though he KNOWS that what wesley did to him was wrong and he should absolutely hate his dad for what he did to him.#it's just that barton felt abandoned by his mother + so he poured himself into his relationship with his dad BC he was all he had#if that makes any sense buttt yeah. barton taking in those two was an arguably good thing though i know that barton is certainly not#the best caretaker to say the least they wouldn't have survived on their own. and barton trying to be a better person (albeit with mixed-#results) for marcy also showed that he was willing to sacrifice some thing's for her but barton is ultimately like. the worst-#whenever it comes to impulse control + he had this bloodlust in him that was there since at least his teenage years partially#because of everything he'd seen ans went through as a kid with the other part being on him OFC BC taking responsibility is something#you've got to do no matter what but GAHHH. yeah i just... i'm thinking about my angel girl today even though she ain't a literal angel#she could just manifest wings out of her own blood or someone else's because she can make constructs out of it (blood)#tw: blood#tw: child abandonment#tw: child abuse#tw: unhealthy family dynamics.
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Just in case, i'm still here x)
#i see your messages and i'll answer them i promise!#the thing is at first i took a break from everything for a few days (and ofc the boys went to the military on these days exactly!)#then i tried to use my new laptop and i don't like it#i don't like how the colors look on it (evn tho they were calibrated) so i can't make gifs from it#so maybe i'll sell it and try to buy a proper pc#and also my cat didn't feel well these days#as usually last week of vacation and i am literally a hamster in a wheel nothing new x)#but in the meantime i finished bv3#and as much as i liked it the scene with jin who was left alone in the bar brought back some painful memories i was literally shaking#so this season gave me mixed and bittersweet feelings in general (at least they gave me yoonjin date)#but now i'm catching up on run bts and i just finished the blue village and it was even more fun than i expected#but both parts of golden bell are my favorites for now😁#hope y'all are doing better than me💖 i miss you guys
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just watched the ahsoka finale. oh my god. OH MY GOD.
#ahsoka spoilers#ahsoka series#ahsoka#dave filoni you absolute madman#you brilliant fucking genius#he has singehandedly provided context for everything that ever has and ever will happen in star wars#AND I AM EATING IT UP#BUT ITS SO TRAGIC SO I’M ALSO CRYING#THRAWN IS BACK AND AT THE HELM OF THE EMPIRE???? OH JUST ANOTHER CASUAL GALACTIC WIDE CIVIL WAR THAT'S FINE#MORTIS ARC REFERENCE????? NOT EVEN A REFERENCE LIKE THAT ARC NOW HAS EVEN MORE SIGNIFICANCE AND IS SO IMPORTANT TO SW AS A WHOLE#THE GALAXY BEING CAUGHT IN AN ENDLESS LOOP OF GOOD AND EVIL AND EVERYTHING IS FUCKED BECAUSE OF WHAT WENT DOWN ON MORTIS#DEATH TROOPERS?!?!?!?!?!??! IN MY CANON STAR WARS!!?!?!?!? IT'S MORE LIKELY THAN YOU THINK#AHSOKA'S CHARACTER ARC OVER THIS SEASON WAS SO BEAUTIFUL I LOVE HEEERRRR#ANAKIN WATCHING OVER HER AT THE END???? JUST LIKE HE DID IN ROTJ I'M SOBBING#WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE??????#NO IDEA BUT I'M SURE IT WILL INCLUDE PAAIINNN#I BETTER SEE MORE OF HAYDEN AS ANAKIN I REFUSE TO BELIVE THAT THIS WAS IT#this episode and this series as a whole was so much more heavy than i expected#but i don't know why i didn't see it coming because it's DAVE FUCKING FILONI#also the title of this masterpiece being a narnia reference is killing me#I NEED SEASON TWO. NOW.#give it to me hat man i am in your walls
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I’ll be back tomorrow with some new fics!🥰🫶🏼
#hanna talks/types a lot#my break went longer than expected but I feel much better!#thanks for everything the last few weeks!!🤍
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i found my wedding dress today!!!
#the appointment went way better than expected our stylist was so nice and helpful :’)#its everything i wanted in a dress too 🥰🥰🥰#c’s wedding saga
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This may be a good and normal thing but I have absolutely zero regrets about having purchased the laptop last night. Like all day yesterday and even as I was buying I was going oh god should I should I not but now I’m not even having second thoughts about the huge display lmao
#SO FUCKING GLAD that I actually did some extra research rather than just going meh the one I looked at before is probably better#I think it was a SIGN that I got paid a little early for the month’s work and then like the day after the laptop I bought went on sale#(Didn’t actually pay immediately so I didn’t USE any of that money but that is besides the point)#Only with the reservation of man… it’s big… and heavy… and REALLY huge and that’s bad…#I HAD deep down been going ‘man if only there was a bigger laptop with the same specs as the one I wanna buy’#And then!!! This baby pops up!! With a big display and BETTER specs!!!!!!!!#Cannot begin to express my excitement at playing Real People Games like that hasn’t even been a POSSIBILITY#Stray is at the top of my list right next to ranch of rivershine#And also probably Elden Ring that shit looks NEAT#(Also yes there is a catch and a reason this one is cheaper even though it’s better! The one I was planning on getting had an OLED display#This one’s just a normal good old LCD display. But in all honesty that is ABSOLUTELY a sacrifice I’m willing to make lol)#z talks#not horse game#Also the fact it’s not currently in stock so I’ll be waiting almost 3 weeks for it also very much feels like a good thing#Like. I have a Date on which I can expect to Receive It. And that means I have a very set time frame for the stuff I want to do to prepare#(mainly organise my cloud storage to make sure everything’s where it should be)#(but that’s a bigger problem than it might sound like because I have a LOT of files)
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(long negative rant, be aware)
I think i'm starting to pinpoint one of the biggest reasons I can't really connect with the plot of botw and totk anymore 😫 and it's because I'm really tired of the "peaceful world whose entire source of conflict can all be pinned into a single, cartooningly evil individual/organization" trope
I'm rewatching some fire emblem playthroughs, another series who relies on that plot narrative too much, and it's exhausting to me 🫠 I thought that totk was a step down from botw plot wise, but it's really Nintendo's incapability and refusal to evolve and to make stories more complex than bog standard "evil always falls and light destroys darkness" kinda stories
#having watched a playthrough of revelations was eye opening lol#because that's an entire game/route who undoes all depth the story might have had just to introduce a big bad it can pins the blame upon#and that was the first moment i went 'ah this is a pet peeve of mine isn't it'#and like#fuck i don't care if you keep doing this to series like pokemon or mario#but you can't make a story on the scale of stuff like fire emblem or zelda where that's all it boils down to and expect me to stay invested#it doesn't help that them wanting to simplify everything also killed paper mario#which was one of my favorite series of all times#but at this point I can't even say it anymore because the amount of games i hate of the series outweight the amount of ones i love#and i that combined with everything nintendo has been doing#i'm just kinda done with them and their games#and hell i quoted pokemon a few tags ago but sumo and black & white had great stories#and again in sumo's case they just undid all the depth the story had in a later game#and they don't even pretend pokemon now is anything but a money printing machine for them#...also i fully realize that this might attract negativity considering i'm naming several series with giant rabbid fandoms#and if you're one of the people who might be angered at this#just don't waste your time and do something better than engaging with this post#bothering to engage with this post in a rude way will earn you nothing but a block#also i'm not saying fates had much depth to begin with just that they went and destroyed whatever depth there might've been there
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you know I kind of like the idea of Konig being a bit of an asshole.
#tj talks#like. he's definitely fucked up in the head. severe anxiety caused by what was probably horrid horrid bullying#that def veered into like. genuine assault when he was a kid#but then he realized he's twice the size of his bullies and the first time he threw a punch that knocked them to the ground he went#'oh. oh that's a nice feeling'#def has anxiety and is still a quite person but his insecurity sort fo manifests itself in not great ways#your the sniper on his time? pah. he's better than you. he's a better shot. a better fight. better EVERYTHING and he'll prove it#knocking shoulders with others in the hall and saying nothing of it#if he thinks yorue 'beneath' him? he's a bit of a prick honestly.#if he wants your approval? expect him to look to you each time he's at target practice or takes somebody down in sparring#very 'look what I can do! DId you see that? wasn't that cool? aren't I cool?#but i still like soft quiet konig so yknow
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