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sparkie96 · 4 years ago

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Me, half asleep: hmm chreon

Me, suddenly galaxy brain and wide awake: Chris leaves for edonia before leon can tell him that he's pregnant, he never gets the chance to tell him, chris loses his memories, leon has their baby and then about a month later re6 happens and he and Chris reunite but it's bittersweet bc Chris doesn't remember who leon was to him, cue to the angst of leon having to deal with being alone and thinking chris was dead for his entire pregnancy, and then them mending their relationship as chris heals, and Chris meets the baby and they become a proper family

Me, exhausted from this apparently v taxing thought and now half asleep again: hmm chreon

It had been a long and tiresome six-months plus the oh so fun trip to China...which Chris lost his entire team twice to the same woman who had had an indirect hand in nearly killing his mate and his mate’s partner as well as said mate’s adoptive daughter and the key to stopping the C-Virus. And a tiresome couple of weeks where he took some time off to himself.

Chris shook his head as his escort drove him out to the ranch Leon supposedly now owned thanks to the late Adam Benford. The agent said he had a surprise for him and Chris was practically vibrating in his seat, wondering just what the surprise was. His memory was still a bit fuzzy, so he remembered Leon and wanted to get back to him the whole time he was in Edonia...he just didn’t know his name or the reason why he needed to get back so badly. And then there was...something else. It involved Leon and a grainy picture of some sort...but try as he might, he couldn’t remember what it was.

Hopefully his memory would kickstart back to normal by the time he got there. He really wanted to relive “Memory Lane” with his beautiful Omega. He wanted to experience the emotions that came with those memories. He wanted to remember them too, cursing his broken memories and his damned Amnesia.

The truck pulled up to the ranch, surrounded by miles of grass and fields of corn. Chris’s heart pounded in his chest as he gazed upon the breathtaking sight, unable to believe that this very beautiful but kind of isolated property was now his home too. The truck pulled into the driveway, the driver; Nadia, informing him that they were here. Chris stared out of the window, butterflies beating their wings inside of his stomach and making it churn nervously.

“Captain?” She asked, “Everything alright?”

Chris drummed his fingers on the door, eyes staring at the front door of the home anxiously, “Y-Yeah,” He lied, “Just...nervous...that’s all. My head isn’t so good right now so…”

She gently laid a hand on his shoulder, “You’ll be alright. Agent Kennedy’s been filled in on the situation that occurred over the last several months by Captain Valentine. He’s a good person. He’ll understand.”

“I know,” Chris replied with a slight cant of the head, his other hand toying with his seatbelt, “I just...I don’t want to disappoint him or upset him if he brings up something and I can’t remember…”

Nadia gave him a reassuring smile and a squeeze, “You couldn’t if you tried. He loves you.”

Chris looked to her, smiling a small smile back before giving a nod. With a deep breath, he undid his seatbelt as she unlocked the door to let him out. She bid him farewell and good luck, waiting until he was completely out of the truck and had shut the door behind himself before pulling away. She gave a friendly honk before driving back in the direction of HQ.

Leaving him in front of the house.

Chris turned to it, timidly walking up the gravel and to the wooden porch. He ascended the three steps there, pausing to stare at the door once more. He didn’t know why this was so hard, nor did he know why he was so nervous. There shouldn’t have been something ominous about this whole thing. This was home...his family was inside. His mate and their silly cat. Though, there was a little voice in the back of his mind saying that that was not all that was inside...that he was missing a little detail.

Opening the screen door, he raised his fist and knocked on the solid front door. And then...he just stood there...waiting. He didn’t try to peek through the glass in the door, figuring that would have been rude or it would have ruined the surprise planned for him.

There were footsteps on the other side, Chris holding his breath as they approached the door. Through the frosted glass, he could see a mass of blue and white and beige and brown. He could hear every click of the locks as they were undone, Chris taking another deep breath as the pounding grew louder in his ears.

His breath was caught in his throat again as the door opened, Leon’s smiling face looking up at him, blue eyes clearly filled with tears.

“Hey…” Chris greeted awkwardly, but then gave a soft “Oof!” as Leon nearly tackled him, hugging him tightly.

“Hey, Big Guy.” Leon’s muffled voice replied in his shoulder, the Omega’s face buried in the fabric of Chris’s shirt, “We missed you so much…”

...We?

“I missed you all too.” Chris replied, hugging him back as Leon pulled away, the two meeting for a soft chaste kiss, “You and that goofy cat.”

Leon looked up at him as they parted, canting his head to the side, “...You don’t remember…” He paused mid sentence and gave a nod, “Wait...of course you don’t. Sorry, my mistake. The Post Traumatic Amnesia…”

“What don’t I remember?” Chris asked a bit too quickly, his heart still pounding in his chest. This was exactly why he didn’t feel like he was ready enough for this. This is why he had been putting off coming here for weeks. His worst fear was happening...he was upsetting his mate.

As if sensing his distress, Leon shook his head and carefully cupped Chris’s cheeks, holding his face in his hands, “No, no, no! It’s okay! It was my mistake! That’s why I had a surprise for you!”

Chris calmed down a bit, taking more deep breaths and counting in his head to ten, “Right. You said there was a surprise…”

Leon nodded with a warm smile, “Yeah...I have someone I want you to meet.”

Chris furrowed his brows but let Leon take his coat for him, the Omega telling him that it was okay to take his shoes off by the front door. While Chris did that, Leon shut the front door and locked it, waiting until Chris was settled before taking him by the hand. Chris allowed him to lead him further into the house, going down the hall and to one of the rooms at the end of the hallway.

“You probably don’t remember this,” Leon began, “But...a couple months before you went to Edonia, I was pregnant.”

Pregnant...Leon had been pregnant? Chris thought about what Leon had said earlier...about how “We missed you…”. We…

Leon let go of his hand, opening the door with the little characters on it, looking back at him with a smile.

“Chris,” Leon began, pushing the door open and revealing the crib inside, a little red-headed baby staring back at them, giving the biggest smile he could manage with a pacifier in his mouth, “I want you to meet your son: Oliver Kennedy-Redfield.”

Chris’s heart was fluttering...but not out of nervousness. The Alpha was in awe, smiling as tears welled up in his eyes. He had a son...he had a family who had been waiting for him all this time.

He was home at last.

#Send Me Asks #First Meeting #Chreon #Omegaverse AU #Post Resident Evil 6 #Chris Redfield #Leon S. Kennedy #Oliver Kennedy-Redfield #Sunday Funday

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citygirlinschool · 3 years ago

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Breaking Bad

Read it on Ao3

Original bingo

“Are you sure you don’t want to come?”

“I have got two research papers pending, I am falling behind on my thesis and I have to submit Mr D’s essay on Monday. So yes, I am not coming.” Frank resisted the urge to physically pick up the boy from his bed and throw him out.

He could if he wanted to. Leo was a tiny slip of a thing, all wild curls and ADHD. And gods did the boy tempt him to do some serious bodily harm to him.

“Come on man you haven’t come to a single party since well... ever. This one is supposed to be real rager.”

With a jerked motion he stood up from his desk, threw his door open and marched towards the kitchen.

“Is that supposed to be a No?” There was ruffling of sheets and Oh my Gods he was wearing shoes the whole time.

His eyes twitched and he slammed the glass on the counter with more force than necessary. A drink, that’s what he needs.

“Mixed signals buddy.” And there he was in all his flannel glory, and those hideous pun t-shirt (Never trust an atom, they make up everything). Never would he have guessed the devil would be a elf in science pun t-shirts.

“No, Valdez. I am not coming to your rager party.” He made towards the refrigerator.

“Whatever man your loss.”

There was an audible slam of the door as the fridge door fell of it’s hinges and over a startled Frank, followed by a crash of food spilling on to the floor.

“LEO!”

“So, what was it this time?”

“He broke the fridge.” Frank stabbed his food gloomily.

“And?” Percy waved a ketchup covered fry.

“He fixed the AC.” Frank mumbled.

“That’s good right?”

“After he broke it.” He snorted.

Percy was in the year above him. Swim team captain and marine biology major. They met by accident and hit it off immediately.

They made it a point to meet in the dinner near the college campus once a week, or when they could.

“What else?” he drawled lazily, and Frank would feel guilty about turning all these meetings into venting sessions, except Percy wasn’t the type to entertain people just because it’s polite, so he probably didn’t mind.

“He brought someone back to the dorm. Again. Some blondie, Maria. This is the third this month. And it’s distracting, and I have told him clearly to bring someone when I am gone… How does he even land these many?”

“He is kinda cute?” Percy shrugged.

Frank pulled a face. “He has a horrible track record. Can you believe he flirted with Ms Grace?”

“To be fair he flirts with everybody. I don’t think it counts.”

“Still. That’s the Thalia Grace.”

“Touché. Talked to the Dean?”

“Jason said, only Octavian is vacant. And that guy is… creepy.”

Percy nodded solemnly. “Heard he guts plush toys to some cult god he worships.”

Frank looked at him wide eyes, and just like that Leo was forgotten.

At least until he reached back to his dorm.

“Frankie! You are back.” Leo flashed him his infuriating smirk that he knows gets on his every nerves. “Hazel was just leaving.” And that asshole turns to her, “Until you changed your mind and decided to stay.”

He flirts with everybody; it doesn’t mean anything. Percy’s voice echoed warningly in his mind.

Hazel flushes, and looks down. Those flawless curls hiding reddened cheeks. “Thanks for the offer but I can’t stay past curfew.”

“Aw.” Leo leans forward, “That’s not a no.” he wiggled his eyebrows. “Don’t be stickler for rules, get that enough from Frankie boo here.”

This time Frank’s cheeks heat up. “Leo.” He hopes he would stop.

“Fine, Fine. Goodnight, Hazel.”

“Bye, Leo.” She presses her books to her chest, and Frank shuffles hurriedly to the side as Hazel moves past him.

He slams the door once Hazel is past.

“So,” Leo straightens from where he was leaning against the wall. “Somebody has got a crush.”

“Don’t.”

“Cant blame you, she is a real looker.”

“Oh, come on, don’t play.” He stalks back towards his room, his back toward the Latino. “You already knew that.”

“I did?” there it is again, the annoying mocking tone he didn’t bother dignifying with a reply. But that didn’t deter Leo from barging in his room behind him either.

“I mean, were all those lectures ignored in the favour of staring at the back of her head, and doodling H+F in the back of your notebook, did give me an inclination but thought they stood for Himbo plus- “

“Shut up, asshole.” He whirled around. “You know I freaking liked her.” He stalked towards him.

“Oh yeah like how you knew my Chatelier’s experiment made twelve percent of my grade?”

“I apologized for it.” He spit back in his face, grabbing his forearms.

“That doesn’t make up for it, jerk.” He hissed back.

Blood roared in his veins, drowning out any further jabbing remarks from the squirming boy in his arms.

Gods the things he would do to shut him up.

“-and would you please let me go, I am pretty sure this counts as phys- Mmph! ”

He kissed him. That annoying fucking mouth, with those pretty fucking lips. He bit on his lips tugging at them, pressing that tiny body against his.

He kissed him. Fuck.

Frank stumbled back in horror. “Shit I am sorry, I didn’t- “

“Oh no.” Leo lunged at him, and he stumbled back in surprise, catching his hips. “You would be sorry when I am done with you.”

Harsh demanding lips pressed against him, a sharp nip and the metallic tang of blood spilled on his tongue, making him curse.

The heels of Leo’s feet dug in his back, “Bed, bed, bed!” He panted, slim but strong fingers tugging at his hair painfully, tilting it back. He grabbed his lips in another kiss that had his dick aching in his pants.

Frank stumbled blindly towards his twin bed, his hands groping the Latino’s ass, as they both fell on the congested bed in tangle of limbs.

Leo’s hand left his hair and trailed over his collar, clever fingers making a quick job of his shirt, hips shamelessly grinding in his abdomen.

“Come on, man, get naked.” He ran his fingers over his chest, tweaking his nipples.

“Leo.” He pulled back, “Aren’t we going a bit fast.”

Leo’s lips pulled back in a condescending sneer, “You sure you wanna be a cock blocker.”

His hand snaked down to the bulge in his pants, and he involuntarily humped forward into the pressure. “I already hate you enough.”

That was a reminder enough. The clothes were gotten rid of in a flurry of uncoordinated limbs, and broken buttons, until a very naked Frank, had a very naked Leo in his lap.

He dug his teeth into the hollow of his collar bones, and Leo hissed, but didn’t stop the wild rhythm of his hips. Frank’s hand squeezed the ample flesh in his hands and parting them.

The head of his cock slipped between them, sliding over the fuzzy hole.

Leo’s hips stuttered, and he exhaled shakily, fingers digging in his shoulders hard enough that Frank knew they would leave welts.

“Lube? Tell me you have lube” his voice was so deep; it had his cock twitching.

“Top drawer, in the back.” He mumbled, leaning back until he was laying down as Leo stretched over him, searching his drawer.

He couldn’t help but mouth over his well formed abdomen, for his deceptively short stature he was strong. Lithe muscles and surprisingly broad shoulders.

Fuck he hated him so much.

There was a click of lube opening, as Leo pulled back, his fingers dripping with lube.

He leaned forward, one hand beside his head while he reached behind him.

Frank knew the exact moment Leo’s fingers breached him. His eyebrows furrowed, jaw clenched and his breathing became a tad bit heavier.

He reached up, pressing a sweet almost a innocent kiss against his lips, and for a moment Leo let him.

“Let me do it.”

And just like that Leo pulled away.

His weeping cock bobbed proudly between his supple thighs, his dusky nipple looked raw and abused, there was a myriad of hickies littering his chest and his hair was wilder than usual.

Yet, that jerk had the audacity to smirk mockingly at him.

“Not your girlfriend, Zhang. So don’t treat me like it.” he must have done something inside him cause his eyes fluttered for a moment. “Besides- Ah” his back arched, “we are doing this by-mmh- my rules, cause clearly you are as clueless in this-Ah!”

“What is your problem.” Frank had jostled his fingers out of him as he flipped them over. “I am just trying to be nice.” He snarled.

“No what you’re trying to do.” A lube covered finger smeared across his neck, “is fucking coddle me.” He spat.

“I am not coddling you.” He glared indignantly at the infuriating boy underneath him.

“Oh yeah? What is this? Fucking me? Please, you are not even in me.” He sneered mockingly.

“I am- I don’t –” Leo mercifully cut his spluttering off with a kiss.

“God I didn’t know I had to just spread my legs to get underneath your skin.”

He would have tried replying, except Leo had wrapped his lubed up hand around his dick, slicking it up with quick efficient strokes, and Frank had been so painfully hard all this time all he could do was helplessly jerk forward into the warm wet hole, until Leo tightened his grip. “Don’t come.” He warned, as he guided him to his stretched hole.

Frank to his dying day would deny the sound he emitted when his head slipped in.

A loud unashamed sound, as his head dropped onto Leo’s shoulder, as he panted harshly. Leo was tighter and hotter then anything he had ever felt before. And so deliciously soft.

He wouldn’t have been able to stop the unrelenting rolls of his hips as he pushed deeper if he wanted to.

Like he had no control over his hips, he pushed in inch after inch, as Leo’s back arched off the bed until Frank bottomed out.

For a moment Frank could just lay still and shiver so as to not bust a nut, Leo as so tight around him, it was probably painful for him.

“Move, move, move, jackass.” Or maybe not.

“Oh, gods fuck me, or I am gonna fuck up your laptop and not repair- Oh yesss!” Leo’s eyes rolled back in his head, as Frank pulled out almost all the way and then pushing in rapidly.

“Why can’t you shut up for a moment.” Frank picked up his pace. “For once –mmh” his nipped at his ear, “just shut up- ah fuck- and moan.”

“Maybe- mmph- Maybe if you put all that beef - oh Dios- and man boobs (he gripped said boobs) to use than I will.”

Frank dug his teeth right below his ears, just shy of tearing skin, but definitely marring the skin, as he readjusted his grip, hooking his hands underneath his knees and practically folding the twink (because that’s what Leo fucking Valdez is and Frank is tired of lying) in half.

He must have hit his prostrate with the deeper angle cause Leo made a he- would- never- admit- it- but- adorable high-pitched sound, his hands flying between his legs, except Frank slapped it away and wrapped his own hand around his flushed, almost painfully purple cock.

Much to his pleasure Leo hooked his own hand underneath his knees, holding himself open.

“Didn’t know” he panted, “all it took was a good dicking down to shut you up.”

Leo’s eyes opened up to slits, in what he thinks is a glare, but it is hard to take him seriously on good days, even harder with his cock stupid bambi eyes, and drool covered chin.

Fuck! This is the hottest thing ever and Frank hates him so much.

Frank lost his carefully maintained rhythm, finally rutting in abandon. The bed creaked threateningly, the headboard banging fiercely with the force of his thrusts.

Paired with the slick sound of where Frank was jerking Leo off, slap of skin against skin and squelch of Frank fucking Leo, it sounded like a cheap porno.

Harsh breathing was littered with moans and litany of curses. There tongues ran sloppily against each other, Leo tweaked his nipples, clenching down on Frank as they both hurtled toward the peak like freight train.

The orgasm was a bang.

Literally.

In hindsight, two fully grown men fucking on a barely hanging on twin bed was not the wisest plan. But what can he say? Leo brings out the worst in him.

“Did it?” Frank muttered tiredly. All he wanted to do was sleep.

“Get off.” Leo’s voice was slurred and strained, “You are suffocating me. And you are sleeping on the couch.”

“What was it this time?”

“The bed.”

“Leo broke your bed?”

“Something like that.” Frank mumbled.

#percy jackon and the olympians #heroes of olympus #frank zhang #leo valdez #freo #kinktoberverse2021

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karomate · 3 years ago

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High Ground - Olli Matela FF part 3

Hiya, Once again back with another part. Enjoy. Really enjoying where this is going. lol

The next morning Sara woke up to the noise her manager was making. “What do you think you’re still doing in bed?”, he almost screamed at her and she immediately got up from her bed, grabbed her stuff and went to the bathroom to take a quick shower. Over the years she learned that it was better to obey him, than make him angry.

After Sara was ready they went back to the rehearsal room Blind Channel occupied. They all were already there. Sara couldn’t help but to sneak a shy smile at Olli, which he returned. Nobody seemed to notice their little exchange.

“So today we have a lot of work to do!”, Niko announced and the all got to work. While Tommi was trying out different type of beats, that would suit the song, Joonas playing the guitar and Olli playing Bass, Aleksi tried to record Sara, Niko and Joel doing their vocal performance. It was harder than she imagined. She also did a bit of harder music but she couldn’t scream like Niko could. Joel on the other hand was a very talented singer with a rough yet smooth voice. It was a pleasure for her to be working with such talented young men.

After another two hours of just trying out everything they once again became hungry. Why were they always hungry? The boys agreed that they should go and get some food, leaving behind Sara, Olli and Tommi who wanted to work on their technique a bit more. After five minutes Tommi decided he needed to go outside to get some fresh air, which resulted in Olli and Sara being alone in the room. “I really enjoyed our conversation last night”, he confessed to her and shyly looked away. Sara couldn’t help but blush at his comment. She too enjoyed their conversation. “Me too”, she admitted and looked straight at him, which made him look at her too. “Do you maybe want to go out tonight? We could go to a bar and just get to know each other?”, he asked her and she could see the hope in his eyes. How could she say no to that? She quickly nodded.

Right as Sara was about to say something the other boys returned again. “We brought a lot of very unhealthy food!”, exclaimed Joonas and seemed to be very proud of himself. Seemed like he was the reason they got fast food. Sadly Sara wasn’t allowed to eat that. She didn’t have a fast metabolism and was only allowed to eat junk once a week and she did that the day before.

“Thank guys, but I’m not really hungry”, she apologized to the men and sat down on the couch, took her phone out and answered a few comments on her Instagram account. “You sure? The food is delicious”, Joonas tried to persuade her, but she didn’t budge. She couldn’t afford to make her manager even more angry than he already was with her. She overslept this morning, and he hated nothing more than people not being on time. She didn’t want to risk it. She once again shook her head no and just focused on her phone.

After they were done with rehearsal, they all went home. It was a tiring day but Sara was very nervous for her date with Olli. Could she even call it that? Was it a date or just a nice little get together like friends do?

She decided that she didn’t mind and just got ready in her hotel room. She quickly took a shower, and styled her short hair, put on black skinny jeans and a red crop-top and voila, ready she was. she texted Olli on Instagram, that she was ready and where she should meet him. It didn’t take him long to answer. He told her, he would be picking her up and that they would go to a winebar.

Olli didn’t let Sara wait too long, because after ten minutes he was there already, looking like a snack with his black button down shirt and black jeans. She suddenly felt underdresses, which she told him. “No don’t worry about it!”, he reassured her. “You look perfect!”, he complimented her and only after it was out did he realize what he was saying. They both started to blush. How could two adults be so shy around each other?

They started their walk to the bar and talked about how much they loved music. “So you know what has been bothering me the whole day? You said you weren’t hungry when we ate our lunch, but that cant be”, he said and all the color drained from Sara’s face. She couldn’t tell him! Was the only thought crossing her mind. “No everything’s alright. I just have those days, where I don’t eat a lot”, she brushed it off. “As long as you are in the mood for wine, then I am happy”, he said and Sara in her thoughts gave herself a highfive for dismissing the guy.

They arrived at their destination. It was a cute little bar with vineyards swinging around the door and rustical wooden patterns everywhere. Sara already loved it from the first moment. They walked in and Olli was greeted by the, what it seemed like, owner of the bar. “Take a seat at the back!”, he said and Olli softly grabbed her hand and led her to a secluded area, where they could watch the whole location, but no one would be able to see them. “So what wine do you drink?”, the owner asked them and they both gave their orders. While Olli ordered himself a redwine, Sara stuck to her Rosé.

They started talking, and they both couldn’t stop staring at the other person. Was that how it felt like to be really attracted to someone? Sara thought to herself. She dated before, but she never felt like that. And it scared her that it took the man in front of her only a few sentences to make her feel all fuzzy.

“I am really sorry to interrupt your little date here, but we are closing in five minutes”, the owner came back with an apologetic look on his face and Olli and Sara looked at each other witch surprise faces. Were they here for so long? They paid their bills and left the bar, not without Olli grabbing Saras hand once again. She could feel an explosion in her stomach. “Should I bring you to your hotel? Or do you maybe want to come over to my place and we can share a bottle of wine there?”, he asked her and she agreed to the later.

After a five minute walk to Ollis apartment Olli let them in, and they took the elevator to go to his flat. “I only have red wine, if that’s alright with you”, he called out from the kitchen and she shouted back that it was fine. His apartment was decorated really nicely. The colors were very basic black and white but it suited him perfectly. Olli came back with two glasses and another bottle. “You don’t have to stand here all lost, you can sit down”, she wasn’t about to be told twice and sat down on his very comfortable couch.

They talked some more. About their nicknames, which flower they wanted to be and what pets they always wanted, sooner or later, they both didn’t notice they drifted of to sleep in each others arms.

They both would have slept longer if it wasn’t for a phone ringing, and oh did Sara know that specific ringtone, which never meant any good. Her manager always texted her, he only called when there were very urgent changes in her schedule or when she fucked up.

And fuck up she did this time.

#olli matela #blind channel #blind channel imagines #blind channel fanfiction #niko vilhelm #tommi lalli #joel hokka #joonas porko #aleksi kaunisvesi #alex mattson #high ground ff

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firefly464 · 4 years ago

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The Gilded Cage - Chapter 1

if you cant tell the first part of this was written by pami a couple weeks back when we first decided to actually do a prequel :D

Written in collaboration with @i-have-this-now :D

Thank you @rivys for beta reading, editing, and writing :D

Master Post

First - Next

~~~

The first thing that Eret noticed when he woke up was the aching pain in his head. Before he even opened his eyes, he could feel the side of his head throbbing. Every tiny movement sent another wave of pain through his mind.

Tentatively, he cracked open his eyes, only to shut them almost immediately as a bright light pierced his vision. The light only caused his headache to grow ten times worse. A wave of nausea washed over him, making him groan internally. The last thing he could clearly remember was being on stream, with each memory after that fuzzy and unreachable.

All things considered, he was probably hungover. He couldn’t remember ever getting drunk, which probably wasn’t a good sign.

Eret tried for a second time to open his eyes, this time pushing through the pain in his head. As he looked around, he noticed his surroundings were blindingly white. It was as if someone pointed a flashlight directly at his face. Squinting, he tried to see where he was.

It was way too bright to see anything he recognised, but even with the weird light he saw, he couldn’t see any of the familiar outlines of his desk or chair. It looked like he was inside some sort of strange room from the looks of it, only just barely able to make out the bright outlines of a couple windows. Oh god, did he get kidnapped? Was he already in the second location? What was going on?

“Whoa, slow down. You’re going to make yourself sick. The potion still hasn’t fully left your system,” Eret was forced to swallow a scream of surprise as he heard his friend's voice. Wilbur’s voice was coming from somewhere beside him, though it was far too bright to actually see him. “Wait, here’s your glasses.”

Glasses? Since when did he wear glasses? “My wha-” Eret began, cut off as an object was pushed into his hands, plasticine and cool to the touch. A pair of sunglasses. He slipped them over his eyes and immediately realized why Wilbur had given them to him. Everything darkened significantly and he could see a lot more than he could before. He was in some sort of van, metal sheets were hammered into the walls of it, as if it had been built by people who didn’t really know what they were doing.

“Hey, so uh, how are you feeling?” Wilbur asked, his voice filled with tension.

He glanced over, surprised to find his friend wearing a strange, revolution based outfit. Maybe they were at a con? That would explain the strange cosplay, but it still didn’t make sense. For one, Eret couldn’t remember ever actually going to any conventions, and besides, he was fairly certain that all all conventions were canceled because of covid.

“I feel like shit,” he admitted, slowly pushing himself up into a sitting position.

Will chuckled slightly, but it sounded forced. “That makes sense. The potion took a toll on all of us.”

“Potion…?” If he was being honest with himself, he didn’t know where he was, or why Wilbur was there too. He didn’t know what was going on. He was confused, lost, and just wanted to go back to bed.

The door to the strange van creaked open and someone poked their head in. “How’s he do- oh! You’re up!”

Eret had to do his best to suppress a shriek of surprise. Entering the van was Fundy, but he was… well, different. Peeking through Fundy’s brown wavy hair were two pointed fox ears, and swishing behind him was a fiery orange tail, tipped with a patch of snow white fur. What the fuck?

“Fundy?”

Wilbur furrowed his brow. “He might be experiencing some memory loss. Eret, do you remember who I am?”

“What?” He shook his head, trying to focus. “Yeah, I don’t-- Memory’s good. Just uhh…” He tried to think of a viable excuse, but nothing came to him. “Y’know.”

“Right.”

A tense silence fell over the room as the three of them stared at each other, unsure of what any of them would say next.

Fundy cleared his throat. “Well, sir, I’ll assume my post at the door again. Let me know if he causes any trouble.”

Wilbur nodded in return. “Make me proud, son.”

With a sharp salute, the fox began towards the door of the van. “Of course, father.” Just as soon as he had entered, he was gone, his tail flicking behind him.

Eret furrowed his brow. Father? That didn’t make sense, Wilbur was only three years older than--

Oh.

Memories came rushing back to him as the pieces clicked into place. He remembered the Final Control Room, the strange falling sensation and... being in the game? No, no. That can’t be right. It wasn’t real, right?

“Eret. I need you to focus. I’m going to ask you a few questions.” Wilbur asked, now more forcefully.

“Er, sorry about that. What- sorry- what was the question?” Eret was tempted to ask him what was going on but he thought he should just answer the questions for now.

Wilbur sighed, as if disappointed. “Why didn’t you press the button?”

“Why didn’t I- what?”

“The button was supposed to open up the walls, wasn’t it? You were going to open up the walls, let Dream in, and drug us all. You were supposed to betray us, why didn’t you?”

“I- I really don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Eret, don’t lie to me, we found the needles in your bag-”

“I’m not lying.” He steadied his voice, there’s no use shouting at Wilbur. It would only end up making things worse. “I didn’t know what was going on. Wilbur, you have to believe me.”

“You were going to betray us. Why should I believe you?”

Eret didn’t know what to say. This wasn’t real. This isn’t supposed to be real. It was just a game. It was… It was right in front of him. Wilbur didn’t act like himself, he was stern and precise. Was he really even Wilbur? The one he streamed with and joked around with? The one he gathered resources for in Minecraft? He just didn’t understand.

“Wil, what the hell is going on?” Eret started. “One minute, I’m at my PC. Next, I’m here in this… whatever this place is.”

“What do you mean? Eret, you-” Wilbur was cut off.

“Wilbur, I don’t think I’m from here.”

“...what?”

“I- This whole world- This isn’t supposed to be real. I’m not supposed to be-”

Click.

Darkness creeped into the edges of Eret’s vision, spots dancing in front of his eyes. Blood rushed past his ears, drowning out any other sounds. It felt as if his mind was filled with static noise, whizzing and humming. “What the…” He blinked a few times to clear his vision. Wilbur sat on the wooden stool, his eyes glazed over. “Uh, Wilbur? Are you alri-”

Wilbur snapped out of his strange trance and shot to his feet, his gaze filled with anger and hatred. “Eret. You heartless bastard. Do you have any IDEA-”

“What? Wilbur, why-”

“Why the fuck are you even here?! To mock us?! To rub your victory in our faces?!” he was screaming now, his voice echoing through the small room, making Eret’s head pound.

"What the hell are you talking about?! I didn't do anything!" he was on his feet now, his arms raised to protect himself. He didn’t know what was going on, but the look in his friends eyes was enough to make him fear for his safety.

The door to the van slammed open as Fundy came rushing inside. A rush of emotions flew across his face as he took in the situation before him, going from confusion, to shock, and eventually settling on pure hatred, mixed with a hint of fear. His tall, pointed ears were flattened against his head. In any other situation, Eret might have found it funny, but in the moment he was in no mood to laugh. “What the fuck is going on? Why is Eret here?”

“That’s exactly what I’m trying to figure out. This son of a bitch was here when I came in, who knows what he might have done.” Will snarled, never taking his eyes off Eret.

“What the fuck do you mean? Wilbur, you brought me here! I’ve been here the entire time! You- Fundy, you saw me!”

“Excuse me? What the hell do you mean by that? I’ve been standing outside this entire time!” Fundy’s hand was on the hilt of his sword, ready to unsheath it and attack at any moment.

Wilbur’s eyes narrowed as he stared at Fundy, trying to figure out what Eret was talking about. “Enough!” he cried, “Fundy, I want you to go and ring the alarm bell. I need everyone here at once. Understood?”

“But what if he-”

His eyes narrowed even further. “Now.”

Eret’s mind raced a thousand miles a minute as he watched his friend scamper outside, most likely to go and sound the alarm. He needed to run, to escape. He didn’t know what was going on, or why Wilbur was so angry at him, but he knew that he needed to leave. The murderous look in his friend’s eyes made it very clear that he wasn’t just going to let Eret walk away peacefully.

The far off sound of a bell ringing echoed through the small van. Eret could feel his heart rate increasing. Any second now, the others were going to come into the room, and it would make escape ten times harder. If he was going to make a run for it, this was his chance.

He glanced at Wilbur, then to the door. Although the taller man was in a defensive stance, he wasn’t armed. There was no weapon in his hands. This could be his only chance.

He crashed through the door, and didn’t look back.

~~~

Master Post

First - Next

Taglist (feel free to send me an ask if you want to be added) @hismilw @violet–majesty @chiera99 @koi-boye @waffle-time-god @miss-oleum @porkgavor @crafted-dreams @harley-the-pancake @lemonaid-ruru @luminousart @somethingtocrowabout @bee-tubbo @firepowder @boombahey @rayjayo

#and so it begins!#this is pretty much all i worked on last week #eh #oh well :D #the eret #eret #wilbur soot #wilbursoot #fundy #The Gilded Cage #Split Realities #mcyt #mcyt au #dream smp #my writing #fanfiction #Dream Team #dreamsmp

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stuffingisforfools · 4 years ago

Text

So I can’t stop thinking about Bobby killing his own father at like 12 and burying his body in the back yard and the implications of him chasing off John with a gun when Sam and dean were young cause spn never followed up of that because why would they.

But anyways I was thinking about that and about young dean who would do anything to protect Sam and refuses to say a word against a father who most definitely hits him and what would happen if we made John just a little bit more unstable. Sam just a little weirder. But leave dean the same.

What happens when Sam’s psychic powers start themselves earlier. Say he’s 8 years old and sometimes when John is out for a couple weeks and he gets angry or hungry or just frustrated and dean can’t calm him down the lights start to flicker and the shelves start to rattle. Or how sometimes he’ll wake dean screaming babbling about things he shouldn’t know about yet. And it scares dean ofc it scares him. He’s only 12 but he already knows he can’t tell John, knows he wouldn’t take it well and he can’t pinpoint why but he’s so so afraid of what would happen if he finds out, he tries to tell himself that John loves Sammy, that he wouldn’t hurt him, but he doesn’t quit believe it, can’t quite convince himself of a lie that big.

Anyways let’s say that’s been going on for a year or two at this point. And dean has been doing his best to keep it from John. There’s been a couple of close calls but they’re still in the clear. Maybe John is getting a little suspicious maybe not but then dean fucks up and John leaves him at sonnys (Listen I know the wiki says dean was 16 at this point but Sam was definitely not 12 in that flashback and the script says Sam is 9 so I’m going with that) and all of the sudden Sam is alone with John for the longest time since he was little little, since before he started coming into his powers. Let’s be real here John has no idea what to do with Sam on his own for 2 months, he fucks up and Sam is a stubborn shit and they’re so similar that Sam gets angry and shit happens. Maybe the lights flicker or maybe johns glass of whiskey gets knocked over, just enough for John to snap out of his rage, just enough for John to get suspicious but not too big that he can’t brush it off as something he imagined. But still the door has been opened.

Fast forward a couple months, dean is back from sonny’s and things are still tense and dean is so so afraid of being sent away again, of leaving Sam with John, when John comes back from a hunt shaken, dean can instantly tell that something wrong, he won’t stop glancing at Sam when he thinks dean isn’t looking, there’s something in his gaze that dean doesn’t like. Deans on edge for a couple days but John never says anything, even if he does act a little shifty, but the day Mary died is coming up so dean jsut brushes it off as grief, tells himself they just have to make it through the next week and then things will be fine.

But things aren’t fine.

John had finally managed to pin down a demon long enough to get some answers. The demon tells him that Sam is corrupted, that Mary made a deal for access to Sam and that Sam is theirs, destined for greatness he can’t even imagine, that this is the reason that Mary is dead. And John tries to deny it, tries to tell himself its nonsense, that the demon is lying to try and get in his head, but then he remembers what happened when dean was gone, and all these little incidents over the past two years that he’s been brushing off start clicking together, and he knows the demon is telling the truth.

The demon escapes and John goes back to the motel they’re staying in. He can’t stop looking at Sam, trying to see the evil that’s coursing through his veins. Sam is the reason Mary is dead. The thought keeps building and building in his head, he can’t stop thinking about it. And then all of the sudden it’s the day Mary died and things come to a head.

The day starts as it always does it’s not even noon and John is already at the bar, drinking and thinking about Sam and the demon and his beautiful Mary burning to death over his head. Dean is sitting with Sam back at the motel trying to keep him entertained, on high alert making sure to listen for when John gets back because dean knows there’s a couple different ways this day could go and he has to be ready. Last year was a bad one but maybe this year will be different.

It’s midnight by the time John staggers back from the bar, sams all tucked in bed asleep but dean is still up keeping vigil, a gun on the bed next to him. Dean doesn’t know what it is exactly, maybe it’s the way John turns the key or the cadence of his footsteps but dean knows that it’s going to be a bad one again, that John is angry angry angry and he’s going to have to do his best to calm him down before he wakes Sammy. Kid can sleep through almost anything so if dean can get John asleep and calmed down fast enough he’ll never have to know. Dean doesn’t want Sammy to ever have to see John like this.

Except when John falls through the door there’s something different about him, something that wasn’t there last year or the year before that. Dean quietly tucks his gun under the pillow next to him and goes to help his dad to a chair. Dean manages to get John situated and goes to get him a glass of water, but John hasn’t even glanced at him, won’t stop glaring at where Sammy is hidden under the blankets.

and then quicker than dean can react, way faster than a man as drunk as john should be able to move, he’s up and marching towards sam. Dean doesn’t know what going on but dean knows that whatevers about to happen isn’t good, so he does what he always does, and puts himself between john and sam. John staggers to a stop, and roughly motions for dean to get out of the way, but he doesn’t move. And if john was angry before it has nothing on how he is now, he is RAGING. He starts yelling, telling dean to get the fuck out of the way, to let him at the little beast that stole his mary away from him. And dean is in shock, asking john what hes talking about, desperately trying to calm him down, your drunk dad, please please, what are you talking about, lets sit down and talk about this. But john won’t be calmed, you think i didn’t know?? you think anything happens in this family i don’t know about?? and dean is like what dad what are you talking about, he’s trying so hard not to cry rn, and john is like, i know what sam’s done, i know what he can do, and i have to stop him before he hurts anyone else, and then all of the sudden john is puling out a knife and hes shoving dean to the floor, saying im sorry dean but it has to be done, hes evil and someone has to pay for what happened to mary.

and then theres a loud bang, and john falls to the ground, bleeding out from a gut shot. and dean is looking down in shock at the gun in his hands, he’s shaking. He doesn’t remember reaching for the gun, doesn’t remember pulling the trigger. but john is wheezing and bleeding out on the floor so it must have been him.

Everything’s a little fuzzy and hes not sure if this is really happening but then sam is crying and dean is on autopilot. He gathers him up in his arms (dean can barely carry him at this point hes getting so big) presses sams face into his neck so he can’t see where john is lying on the floor and walks him out of the room to the impala. The motel is shittier than usual and there was a silencer on the gun so dean is pretty sure no one is going to come looking anytime soon, dean is an expert at knowing what places won’t ask questions, but he knows they cant stay there. Dean shushes sam, tells him to stay put and walks back to the room.

In the interim john has managed to pull himself upright into a seated position, pressed up against the wall with a hand against where he’s bleeding out. Despite everything john is still angry, he can’t yell but dean flinches anyways when john starts cussing him out, telling dean that he expected more of him, that he didn’t raise him like this, that they need to get revenge for mary and that sam isn’t human, is something that needs to be put down. And dean makes a choice.

The gun is sitting on the bedspread where he dropped it when he grabbed sam. He may have reacted on instinct when he first shot john, did it without even thinking. But this is different. John has been telling dean his entire life that he has to protect sam, that nothing is more important. And so dean does what he needs to do. And shoots john point blank in the head.

Everything is a blur after that, when he think back to it he can’t quite pinpoint how he got from the room to the impala to out on the road but hes a good little soldier so he knows what to do even when running on autopilot. He strips the room, gathers up all their things and cleans up as much evidence of who they are as he can. Does his best to keep from looking at where john is slumped against the wall.

Dean doesn’t remember the walk back out to the car, doesn’t remember telling sammy to be quiet or even making the choice to drive. The next thing he knows he’s is pulling up in front of bobby’s house, staggering to the door with a passed out sam in his arms. It isn’t until bobby opens the door and hands him sam that dean finally gives in to the exhaustion and the stress and the shock and passes out.

#dean winchester #Sam Winchester #supernatural #bobby singer #john winchester #tw abuse #tw murder #may or may not attempt to write this into a full fledged fic #yes i think dean should get the chance to shoot john but i also think that it would shatter him #tw child abuse #i really think this is the only way dean would ever kill John #maybe not this exact situation but I do believe he could never do it for himself #he would have to do it in defense of someone else and it would still break him #spn

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magpie-scribbles · 5 years ago

Text

Under White Sateen

Pairing: Reader X Gang Orca

Rating: E

Warnings: Public sex, blowjobs, drunkenness (consensual)

The event had been one of the ritziest you had ever been to, the sheer amount of wealth that most likely went into just decorating the entryway alone could have probably funded you for a whole year. Though, you were a woman of expensive tastes as it was so perhaps less.

And as a woman of expensive tastes you couldn’t help take advantage of the array of wines and champagnes that glittered like crystal chandeliers on white draped tables. This of course also meant you might have gotten a little tipsy, nothing you couldn’t handle; but...with wine and glorious spirits came your insatiable need to be overly affectionate to your date.

Kuugo was doing well with putting up with your admittedly alluring advances, ever the gentleman in front of your fellow Heroes, even as you slipped your heels off under the table; scooting forward in your plush seat to press the ball of your foot to his groin. He was in the middle of talking to Yuu and Ryuko, and while his voice never wavered, you felt him tense up and slouch forward a bit in his chair.

You continued to gently knead him and swish your wine around in it’s glass while he retained his composer in front of your colleagues. But beneath the table, beneath your foot, you could feel him… twitching to life and hardening. Kuugo was a big man, if he had to stand up for any reason there would be no hiding his arousal.

You smirked when you caught his quick sideways glance at you; oh you were in so much trouble you felt yourself flush further and your panties dampen.

Then the Commissioner was calling for everyone to take their seats so they could begin the event. In the commotion and scuttle to reach seats you slipped easily beneath the table; shielded by fine white sateen. You knew Kuugo had seen you ease yourself beneath the table, you went as graceful as you could have (well as gracefully as you could have with a few glasses of wine in you), the look he sent you as you ducked down was intoxicating; hot coals burning bright, daring you to continue, urging you to.

As you settled onto the carpet you heard the muffled sounds of your expected table mates greeting Kuugo, and then finally.

“Ah, where is Y/LN?”

Above comes your date’s rumbling voice.

“She stepped out for a call, sounded rather important.”

Oh how it made you giddy to hear him lying through his teeth; just a little fib but Kuugo never lied, and it sent a thrilling spike of heat through your bones.

“Ah well I hope everything is alright!” the reply comes and then the sound of shuffling, your guests sit down,luckily the the table was rather large so you didn’t have to worry about brushing up against anyone as you began your...activities.

A moment more of shifting and murmuring before the Commissioner cleared his throat once again to gain everyone's attention; you were already bored of what he had to say.

You moved closer, tucking yourself into the space between Kuugo’s spread legs; you could feel the heat radiating off him as you settled; your palm coming out to stroke along the length of his thigh teasingly. He didn’t move a muscle, no knock to try and remove your naughty touch, or jump in retaliation; however you did see the tent in his pants twitch and grow. You couldn’t help but grin at this, you had so much control at this moment it made your head fuzzy.

You teasingly massage along his thighs, kneading the flesh and muscle, watching greedily as his pants become tighter and tighter as you continued. Then his hand sneakily reached under the table and you deciding to only be a further minx caught his thumb in your hot mouth, sucking on the thick digit, reveling in the way your tongue smoothed over the roughness of the pad of his thumb.

He doesn’t allow you to tease for much longer, instead digging his sharp claw into your tongue, dangerously close to drawing blood, his other fingers curling around your jaw tugging you forward roughly until your nose was pressed against him. The heat that coursed through you was almost unbearable and you could feel yourself ruining you favorite pair of panties with your slick.

You knew that playtime was over, and to be honest you were drooling for the main course anyway. With shaky, excited hands you reach up, grabbing onto his belt buckle and undoing it as quietly as you could. Honestly you be more than happy to be found out as Gang Orca’s little slut but Kuugo had a reputation to uphold and you were certainly respectful of that.

You managed to get the belt off without incident, rather pleased with yourself, however you hadn’t expected the zipper to be so loud and you bit your lip as you eased it down. But finally he was unzipped and oh he wasn’t wearing any boxers! Did he plan for something like this to happen all along? You felt a feral grin split your face, you definitely would have to tease him about this later... But you had work to do now.

Gently you drew him out of his lovely pressed suit pants, marveling at the size of him, even though you’d seen him more times than you could count. You couldn’t even get your fingers fully around it and it had you positively giddy as you gave a languid stroke. You knew it probably wasn’t a great idea to tease too long, after all who knew how long the Commissioner would carry on for, and while they usually droned on for a bit you didn’t necessarily want to push your luck.

Behaving somewhat for the first time that night you gave him a few more pumps, making sure to reach every part of him before, adjusting yourself and pressing his tip to your plump lips. You kissed and nipped at the head, feeling him twitch in your grasp; then slowly, ever so slowly, you pushed him passed your lips, stifling your own moan as you tasted him.

You began a languid pace, getting used to his girth all over again, with each bob of your head you tried to take more and more of him in. You knew you wouldn’t be able to fit all of it, not here, not now; when the two of you were in the privacy of your own homes you had all the time in the world to relax and prep and get in the right mind set. But here under the dining table at a fancy event surrounded by dozens of your peers, you couldn't get in the right head space to take him completely.

It didn’t matter, it was still perfectly debauched and you loved it. You took as much as you could, trying to keep your gagging and slurping to a minimum, but fuck you couldn’t help it, he was too good.

You could feel your own spit dripping down your chin and onto your chest; at least your attire was low cut enough that you were just dribbling on yourself and not you expensive gown. You licked along the thick vein running along the underside of his cock; he twitched in your mouth and you feel him harden further; you knew he wouldn’t last much longer and it only spurred you on.

His hand was suddenly at your head and oh! He’s threading his fingers through your hair, tugging you closer, but still careful enough to not overwhelm you. Your head absolutely swam when you feel the slight cant of his hips and his grip on you tightened further; you’re desperate for him to fill your mouth, so ready.

A few more bobs of your head and his grip was near painful and then...he’s flooding your mouth; it’s so much you can barely keep up as you try to swallow shot after shot. It was absolutely perfect.

He pet your head when he finished, and you swallowed that last of him down, rather pleased that you managed to keep yourself relatively clean.

You sat back on your heels, head still fuzzy with lust when you have a sudden realization, how the hell were you going to get out from under the table without anyone noticing?

Tucking Kuugo back into his pants and zipping him back up, you try to figure out what you were going to do. But to be honest you were too lust addled and tipsy to think of anything.

You feel a tap on your shoulder and you turn to see Kuugo’s clawed hand thumbing to the left, towards the chair you should have been sitting in

“Is that All Might?” you heard his voice rumble from above and then the creak of chairs as people turned their seats to look.

You scuttled out in the direction he had motioned, climbing into your chair a little less gracefully than you would have liked, but from what you could tell no one had seen you.

“Ah, I must have been mistaken.” he said once you were settled, and the party at the table readjusts in their seats.

“Oh! Y/LN you’re back I hope everything is - what happened to your hair?” Uwabami asked.

Shit you didn’t know she had been one of your table guests; and your hair?? Oh shit, Kuugo!

“Oh um, it’s crazy windy outside! It came out of nowhere, haha, hope it dies down by the time this is over!” you waved her off, you thought that sounded convincing enough.

“And your lipstick?”

You could faint, but that would be admitting you had something to hide.

“It’s very, VERY windy.”

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ghosthauntingevermore · 4 years ago

Text

Characters: Ezra Knowles

Rating: No Sexual NSFW so? There’s that.

Content Warnings: Mentions of Abuse, implied Kidnapping, implied Alcohol use.

Summary: Ezra finds you out cold in an alleyway (or at least, thats what he told you.) after a long night and helps take care of you until you feel better. You open up to him about your relationship issues, and needless to say, he’s not happy.

Notes: I was really nervous to post this but alas.... here it is. I cant do a read more, I am on mobile I am sorry, but I will tag it as a long post for ya’ll.

——

Ezra brought you here. He found you out cold in the alley way and brought you to his house so some pervert wouldn’t take advantage of you while you were unconscious. At least… that’s what he told you when you came to early the next morning.

You’d initially been alarmed, this clearly wasn’t your apartment, and waking up with a splitting headache and almost no memory of last night was all you needed to wake up tense and on edge. At first you thought you had been kidnapped. That is until you laid eyes on him.

Ezra, a friend of yours for years. You knew him well enough that you relaxed immediately, you’re safe here. It’s been a while since you’ve last seen him. He’s bleached his hair so it's a stark platinum blonde. It looks well against his already kind of pale skin. His deep grey-blue eyes look at you and his lips turn up into a smile. His whole face seems to light up when he sees you’re awake, it makes you feel a warmth in your chest and in your cheeks.

“Good morning Sunshine. I hope you slept well,” He says as he sets down a plate of food.

“What happened?” You ask groggily

Your stomach growls loudly and you start to slowly nibble on your breakfast. You’re afraid if you carelessly dig into it you’ll make yourself sick.

“I’m not sure to be honest. I assume you went out, got a little too fucked up and passed out. You’re lucky I was the one that found you.”

He slides you a glass of water and some aspirin for your hangover.

“Do you remember anything?”

“I got into a fight with my boyfriend and I left...and then everything after that is a little hazy” You admit softly

“Oh.. What did you guys fight about?”

You clam up a little, you’re ashamed that you’d let someone treat you the way your boyfriend does. Ezra picks up on it and he tilts your head up so you’re looking at him.

“ He’s not hitting you….is he?”

A lump swells up in your throat as you avert your gaze, eyes focusing on the food in front of you instead of the concerned look on your friend’s face. Your silence is telling though. He knows the answer to that question thanks to it. Lying might have been better, but you know you’re a bad liar too. He drops it for now though, pressing a chaste kiss to your forehead

“You should rest for today. You can stay as long as you like.” He says softly.

Ezra’s voice has always been comforting to hear… You feel a bit guilty because you haven’t been spending time with him, but your boyfriend gets jealous whenever you spend any time with other guys. You’re silent as Ezra leaves the room, part of you feels bad for clamming up. Once you’ve finished picking at the contents of your plate, you lie down and go back to sleep.

You wake again later in the afternoon. It’s past lunch time but not quite dinner time yet. Ezra brought you lunch but it’s cold now. You do, however, chug the water he left with it. You can almost feel the cool liquid spread through your entire body as you do, almost as if you’d been in a hot desert without water for hours. You must have needed it more than you realized.

You get up and turn the knob, the door is unlocked, of course.. why wouldn’t it be? You can hear someone in the living room so you go to investigate. Ezra is there jamming to some metal band and tending to his flowers. Once he notices you, he turns the music down and smiles… it's not as bright as it was this morning, you can sense his worry for your wellbeing.

“Hey sleeping beauty! Feeling refreshed?”

You smile and nod, “I definitely feel a lot better, thanks.”

You sit on the couch and shuffle awkwardly as he continues to water his plants.

“He tried to choke me…” You whisper softly

“He did what?”

You can hear the rage seething in his voice, you didn’t realize how low it could dip when he was angry. When you look at him, you can almost see the rage radiating off his body in waves, how tense he is, the dark angry look in his eyes.

You know he has anger issues, but he’s been seeing a therapist, it's why he picked up gardening- it helped him, and you’ve noticed that he’s doing better. He has a right to be angry now, and even though you know he won’t hurt you, it still scares you. You quickly look away and shrink down. You need to say something to calm him down.

“I-It’s no big deal! I’m used to it. He-He’s done it before when he’s angry and I’m still here.”

“Used to it?!”

Oh no, he’s even angrier now, you can hear it in his voice dripping like hot lava, causing you flinch

“You’re not supposed to be used to it!”

“B-But— I mean—“ You’re stumbling over your words, tears threaten to fall down your cheeks as you try to speak and defend the actions of your abusive boyfriend

“Angel of my heart, Listen to me,”

You feel your cheeks warm up as a warm fuzzy feeling spreads in your chest when Ezra cups your face and looks you in the eyes.

“No one gets to lay a finger on you and hurt you ever again. Not while I’m here to protect you”

Your mouth is gaping, you’re surprised! You never knew he cared about you this much. You nod, tears spilling down your face in thick hot streams. You throw your arms around him and hug him tightly nodding.

You can’t speak, but you’re glad to have someone to keep you safe, blissfully unaware you’ve just doomed your Ex-boyfriend to an agonizing and slow end at Ezra’s hands.

#Crypts Fics #Ezra Knowles #OC x Reader #abuse cw #violence mention cw #Long Post

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okietrish · 5 years ago

Text

Drowning in Anxiety

Pairing: Jake Kiszka X Reader (They are best friends, but they like each other ya know?

Word Count: 1,847

Warnings: Talk about anxiety. Nothing too specific, but lots of run-on sentences that perfectly portray how my mind functions at a high rate pace that I can’t seem to control even thought I try really hard, but I cant...

I’m not sure how I feel about this one, but I wrote it while I was having and incredibly anxious week. Let me know what y’all think!

—

I felt ridiculous. There I was, knocking on his front door, absolutely drenched due to the surprise downfall. I don’t even know how I ended up here. I was walking in a failed attempt to rid myself of the anxiety I had woken up with this morning. I hate days like this, I did nothing to get this anxiety. All I did was wake up and immediately wanted to crawl into a ball and cry. Being an adult doesn’t allow you to do that though.

Getting through the day was... manageable. Sometimes I think of my anxiety more as a bitchy best friend who keeps tapping me on the shoulder to remind me she’s here and waiting very impatiently. Waiting for what? My impending mental breakdown of course; which brings me to where I am now... Holding in my sobs while standing in front of Jake’s door, no doubt looking like a drowned rat who just got run over by a school bus. A mess...

At the sound of the door unlocking I looked up, quickly making eye contact with my best friend with a confused expression on his face, one that fell quickly when he realized who was standing in front of him.

“Y/N what are you doing here? Why are you wet? Did you walk in the rain!?” He was talking fast, obviously worried about my well-being, but I couldn’t say anything. I just stared at him for a moment. My features stone cold before everything cracked and tears flushed my face as I tucked my chin to my chest. I didn’t want to look at him. I don’t know why I came here.

“Oh fuck Y/N.” He spoke quietly now. That’s when I felt his arms wrap around my shoulders, pulling me into him. My hands gripped his shirt tightly where it rested against his collar bones. I needed to ground myself before I spiraled again. Jake instinctively pulled my closer against his body, sprawling his hands out on my back to apply as much steady pressure as possible, a trick I taught him long ago when he saw my panic attacks for the first time.

We stood like that for a few minutes until my breathing was finally steady. Jake pulled away timidly, placing his hands on the sides of my head, pressing my soaking wet hair down on my head. His face was readable, transparent into his emotions. He was naturally an empathetic soul, his eyes were hooded due to his eyebrows being scrunched together in the middle. He offered a lopsided smile, one that I know too well. That smile didn’t hold an ounce of happiness in it. It was forced.

Without saying a word, he grabbed my hand a gently guided me into his home. I stepped aside to allow him to close the door before he turned and looked at me. I couldn’t move. Stuck with my hands limp against my body, face pulled down.

“Do you want to talk about it?” He waited patiently for me to work through my mind.

“There’s not much to say. I just, um, woke up anxious and... and... I just... I fucking hate this Jake. I hate my mind.” Tears were running down my cheeks, though I didn’t feel them this time. No sobs were accompanying the hot streams, no sniffles, no shake in my voice, just tears.

Jake stepped forward, he looked like he was walking on glass, as if the floor would fall out beneath him, but it was me who he was trying not to break. I’m the fragile one.

“Do you want to get changed? You’re soaked.”

“I don’t know.” I squeaked out. For the first time all day my mind was blank. I felt numb.

“Okay. We’re going to get changed. I’ll give you some sweats. We can stay in my room and put on a movie and just wrap up in my comforter. How’s that?” Jake was too kind for this world. His patience in these types of situations always made me adore him even more.

I nodded my head before following him up the steps.

We went slow. I zoned out though… Not really thinking about anything in particular, but somehow still feeling the weight of the world resting on my chest. Maybe it’s just my clothes, they were quite heavy at this point. I left a visible mess behind me, some sort of metaphor there. Water was dripping from my hair, to my shirt, onto my pants, to my shoes, laying itself out over the floor. Fuck. Jake’s floor. I probably ruined it/ I ruin fucking everything. No surprise here. I’d pay for it if it needed to be fixed. I could pick up a few extra shifts, but if I did that I…

“Y/N” I looked up at Jake, he was standing in front of me again. When did we get into his room? How long have I been…

“You’re crying again love.” Was I? I reached my hand up to my cheek, the heat radiating from them instantly warming up my frozen fingertips.

“Oh.. Um… I’m sorry.” I wiped the tears away from my face with my sleeve, but just got my face even more soaked in the process.

“You don’t need to apologize. It’s alright. You’re going to be alright.” Jake walked away for a moment, ruffling through his dresser. “Here take these. You need to change. You’re shivering.” I guess I was, I didn’t notice

“Okay.” My voice sounded like a whisper. My throat was on fire, tight and not wanting to work. Jake offered me a slight smile again.

“I’m going to be right outside the door okay? If you need me just knock.” He placed a warm grip on both of my shoulders before turning to leave. He left me alone.

I felt like a robot, not really thinking anymore, just went through the motions. Soon enough I was stripped completely naked standing in the middle of Jake's room. After air drying for a few moments I quickly redressed. I finally realized just how cold I really was. The fuzzy sweats felt like a warm hug, one that I desperately needed.

“Jake…”

“Yeah?”

I coughed before I relied, “where do you want me to put the wet clothes? And you can come in.” He did just that, but he froze in place as he glanced at me up and down. Probably taking in how I was practically swimming in his sweatshirt and sweatpants. The pants were rolled twice, but they still touched the floor, I looked like a little kid. He looked up to my face again, smiled at how the hood was pulled up and tightened around my face. I properly cocooned myself in the grey fabric.

“I’ll take them and put the in the dryer.” He gathered the clothes from his floor and took off down the stairs. He jogged to the laundry room, I heard him slam the drying and run quickly back up the stairs, I couldn’t help but giggle to myself at his behavior.

Jake was slightly out of breath when he returned. He didn’t miss much though, I didn’t move an inch. He stood there for a moment, regaining his breath and just looking at me. A smile stretched across his features, I tried to return it, but my face just felt like it just twitched before falling back into its statue-like state.

Jake stepped towards me, closing the distance between us swiftly, engulfing me in a hug. I fell into him, I mean how could you not? His hair smelled like vanilla, he smelled faintly of tobacco, most likely smoking right before I got there. All in all he just smelled like Jake. That’s all that I needed, Jake.

Without me noticing, Jake shifted his grip to my hips and began to slowly guide me backwards. I kept my face buried into his neck, trusting him enough to let him take control. The back of my calves bumped into his bed then, he reached one hand over to pull the covers back. Jake then turned around and scoop me up. With a gentle kiss placed to my forehead he laid me down and tucked me in. I let out a whine has he stood up to walk away. I didn’t want him to leave. I didn’t want to be alone.

At the sound he turned back to me, laying his hand on my forehead pushing my hood back slightly.

“I’m just going to lock the front door and turn out the lights mama. I’m coming right back okay?” He spoke so softly to me. His raspy voice coaxing my body to relax into the sheets. I nodded back to him and pulled the covers up to my chin. He would only be gone for a minute.

Jake rushed again, trying his best to be quick and efficient. When he came back he quietly closed his door then walked over to his dresser once more. He replaced his shirt, which was practically drenched from hugging me earlier, with a long sleeve, green shirt that had a purple stripe across the chest. He stripped himself of his pants, but left himself in the tight black briefs that hid underneath, it was hard not to stare at him. He was beautiful. I had to force myself to stop staring more often than not.

Jake shut off his bedroom light before climbing into bed next to me. Instantly he pulled me to him, resting my head on his chest, tangling his legs with mine, my left hand gripping his shirt over his chest as I focused on his heartbeat. He rubbed my back up and down slowly, the pressure welcoming and far from overwhelming.

“Jake?” I tilted my head to face him. He glanced down towards me humming in response to tell me to continue.

“You have cute legs.” The blush that ran up to his cheeks was adorable, but that didn’t sway his calm and relaxed attitude.

“Oh is that so?” He smirked, seemingly amused at my compliment.

“Mmmhmm. Quite the ass as well.” I smiled at him. It was a real smile, one that spread across my entire face. I felt calm. Being wrapped up with him made me feel as if the rushing world around us didn’t exist. If he was holding me, nothing could hurt me.

He chuckled as he rolled his eyes. “Good to know my fine ass helped you feel better.” He kissed my forehead, pressing and holding his lips there for a few moments before retreating to giggle some more at himself.

“Ya know, next time you feel really anxious I’ll just send you a booty pic. It’ll save you a walk in the rain.” I nuzzled my head into his chest, laughing at the sheer idea of Jacob Kiszka sending me a booty pic.

“I’m going to hold you to that Kiszka.” I tapped his chest twice, still giggling at the kind boy. Another laugh roared through his body. His laugh was intoxicating.

“Anything for you Y/L/N”

#Jake Kiszka #jake kiszka x reader #jake kiszka imagine #Greta fic #greta van fleet imagine #greta van fleet fanfic #I want a hug from jake kiszka and I want it now #fluff

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benbantz · 4 years ago

Text

Week 17 with long term Covid

Hello to anyone reading this, those I know and those I don’t.

Had Covid 19 now for 17 weeks (or suffering after effects of covid, how ever you want to word it.) Point is had/have Corona and it’s still kicking my arse.

So since my recent facebook update (after being pretty quiet on social media for a while) a couple of peeps have messaged me asking about my symptoms and stuff as (apart from the first 2-3 weeks) I haven't really gone into any detail I just sort of say 'having rough week' or 'things flared up again' etc etc. Without going into too much detail about anything specific. So for anyone interested, and because people have been curious and asking - and as you’ll see is far to detailed to explain person to person (and want to spread the word about long haulers as a lot of people struggling) So it’s just easier for me to have it in one place. For myself more then anything. And if you get anything out of it then that’s great.

Things are just starting to come out about long haulers in the media and on the news and I know people are interested to learn a bit more about it all. So while I’m having a not too bad a time last couple of days I’d thought it’s a good a time as any to go thru all my symptoms. Get them typed out for first time.

And maybe it will be helpful to someone who randomly comes across this post - (thou please don’t use as a guide), every case is different, a lot of similarities and cross overs , but ultimately different Just because someone you know might be having a rough couple of days or experiencing a couple of these symptoms it could be something completely unrelated to covid. (Make sure you check with your GP or call 111 if you think you have covid symptoms long term or otherwise.) I am not a Dr.

Here's a list of everything been going on with me over last 17 weeks. Some experiences have been completely new to me so very hard to explain , some descriptions may sound a little odd , but hopefully you get idea of what I mean! (Also sorry for any grammar mistakes....I dropped out of English A level)

Those who come across this and don’t know me personally know that while this is a (mostly) serious (but hopefully uplifting) post I’m very sarcastic and use dumb humour to deflect from how shit life is at the moment! :-)

So first thing of the bat I'll explain is I've realised in recent weeks it's been easier to think of it as good and bad days/weeks rather then getting better/worse (as in first 10 or so weeks when I thought of it as 'it's getting better' and got in that positive mindset, the kickbacks have obviously beaten the piss out of me mentally as well as physically, as I've had about four big relapses now where I thought I'm on the right track, having a good couple of weeks then bam, I seem to go back to square one for no real apparent reason. So when I say bad day I'm describing when everything amps/flares up again, A few more symptoms go up and the volumes up on high,and likewise a good day is when things seem to be moving in right direction again and I get a bit of a break.(So now I just appreciate them when they come and try make most out of them.) A good day isn’t a symptom free day by any means, it’s just better then the bad ones.

OK so on to my symptoms.

Specific Areas

Chest - Since the first evening it kicked of early March my chest has felt like a giant has had his hand around it - that’s non stop, constant (told you my explanations were weird.)

On the better days it's a very light grip I can get on and do things to a point, but I am always aware it's there. On a bad day it's grip tightens and he squeezes (or his fingers press into a couple of key areas - been pressing on my back a lot last few weeks.) - That’s been non stop and has not gone away since beginning. Thou I do believe its starting to ease a little.

- Chest pain - A shooting pain in my chest (slightly different from description above, feels more like its needles on inside of body. Thankfully these are uncommon, they pop up if I push myself a bit too far one day or if I’m having rougher week.(And it’s not heart related)

Lungs/Breathing - Haven't felt like I've taken in a full lungful of air since beginning, I take a deep breath but only feels like I'm taking in 80- 85% ish (on a good day) 65- 75% ish (on a bad day) - This is week 17 numbers btw, take maybe 10-15% off when it was at worst. I think the best way I can describe it is it feels like there’s a filter or a sieve/strainer at top of lungs, on a good day there’s more spaces available to breathe thru (but still there’s a filter) and on a bad day more spaces close and I'm breathing thru less.

*Thankfully bar the first week where I had to get paramedic out, I haven't been gasping for air, I've certainly had to just lay and just concentrate on only breathing a few times because the filters have closed up a lot more (in the night mostly) especially where my bodies relaxed and I've woken and panicked short of air. Yes that’s as terrifying as it sounds.

- The air I do take in doesn't feel clean or fresh (best way I can describe it is when you go to a zoo and they have a indoor Rain Forrest/safari area .... very that lol) That was constant the first 12 or so weeks (even when getting fresh air outside) thankfully that’s eased a little and not so prominent, still doesn't feel like I’m breathing in fresh air but its not so hot and stuffy and noticing the difference when I go outside now.

Throat/Mouth - Burning/inflamed mouth - This is by far been the most uncomfortable/hardest for me to ignore and just get on with day to day stuff, from maybe week 6 to week 14 it was pretty much non stop burning mouth and throat (Call my mum Khaleesi because I was spitting fire.)

Whole inside of my mouth and down my throat was just inflamed/swollen (felt like I had a golf ball stuck down there) and burning hot. The last couple of weeks its eased I don’t wake up with it (unless i’m having a flare up/bad day) It's still very on/ off but thankfully not constant like it was. And have since learned that high histamine foods make it worse - same with my chest and few other things, (so choc, dairy, alcohol, fizzy drinks ...my diet essentially ) So have cut most of them down/out. Ice lollies have been my savior on hot throat days. - Marble in throat - Another hard one to explain, it feels like there’s a marble sort of sized ball of phlegm that I constantly need to clear. (OK maybe not that hard to explain - also sorry for the gross imagery.) But not enough mucus coming up to warrant the feeling, it’s irritating more then anything - but a few weeks ago was probs golf ball sized, so again improvement! - This sort of ties in with with the inflamed mouth, but the first thing to flare up on bad day is my tongue, feels tingly most of the time anyway but more so on a flare up/bad day. - Same with my teeth / gums and the tingly sensation, (my teeth constantly feel like that sensation when you have some orange juice after brushing your teeth.) Sensitive/fuzzy I guess. Not particularly bothersome or concerning...just weird.

Nose

- This is probably one of newest ones, nose has felt hot(on and off)/bunged up for last few weeks. (But I know its not if that makes sense) I guess you could say same as lungs - not breathing in a full nose-full of air either. - sorry again for gross TMI but any mucus or boogers are clear (like almost see thru clear/never been cleaner clear) - Phantom smells - A really odd one, I smell smoke and gas a lot, not just smell it, it feels like its in my nose and my mouth - especially smoke, almost like I’ve eaten it sometimes (non smoker in smoke free flat btw). Was a lot more prominent in first few weeks ,so much so that before I realised it was a symptom I had my carbon monoxide alarms checked because it was making me paranoid I could smell smoke/gas. A bizarre one for sure. Pops up randomly now and again.

Eyes - Last couple of weeks have been getting bit of blurry vision and sore or dry eye , I'm already blind as shit so hard to tell in terms of blurriness how bad this one is, but def finding it harder to concentrate on one thing for too long (but that sort of ties in with brain fog - which i'll get to) but pretty sure once this is done with and I go to opticians will likely need a stronger prescription (some other long haulers who never had eye problems before are now having to wear glasses) No idea if that’s a permanent one but hopefully i’m at peak of it.

Ears - My left ear has felt blocked pretty much since start (or like it needs to pop some days) Most the time I can ignore it but can be quite distracting if it kicks up a couple of dials.Which is likely why I get ear ache in same ear often as well.

*Also for most the things listed above it has always been worse on my left side of body, lung, eyes, ear, headaches.

- Tinnitus (correct word for ringing in ears right?) Usually kicks in early afternoon or on bad day. Varies on strength depending on the day I’m having.

Head/Brain - Brain Fog - So the sort of very basic science behind this is because my lungs aren't producing enough oxygen my brain knows this, so is lending them some to help out...but because of this it means I’m experiencing what is known as brain fog (I don’t know what its actually called, likely has a better more official sounding name) - my concentration is very low, i’m finding it hard to retain things and concentrate more then usual. (not been up to reading or watching something new for month or so as I just cant focus on it) Also been getting odd words muddled or confused (but the bar wasn't the highest with me on that front ha ha)

Been dropping things when I think I have them in my hand. I do however think this is improving (The fact that I have typed this out with just a couple short breaks so far is much better then two weeks ago when I couldn't even focus on a computer game for more then half a hour) so as my lungs improve so does this or vice versa on flare up. *Edit - This whole post has taken a couple of days to draft and type up, so not too bad in terms of needing breaks etc.

-I'm also constantly aware of my brain... like I can feel it all the time (I literally cant explain that any other way lol, I guess its just heavier at moment so I can feel it against my skull) best explanation I think you'll get from that one. - Have a headache most the time (so much so that I sort of forget it’s there.) Thankfully most the time there mild/low and I can forget or distract myself but like everything else if I'm having a bad few days it goes up a notch. Likely connected to the brain fog.

Stomach and Lower abdomen - Period pains - only way I can explain it, generally thought after nearly 10 years without them it was messing my body about so much I was getting phantom periods. (I’m a transgender man, 4+ years on testosterone, for anyone I don’t know who comes across this) been there done that, brought the t-shirt.. then sent it back because it wasn’t for me! Very strong and painful on and off for first eight weeks, get the odd twinge now and again but think that ones done with, thank the gods. - Stomach Pains - Few aches and pains on /off, and recently experienced what felt like needle/stabbing pain for short while in short bursts - and I only really mention stomach because I haven't had the widely publicised 'covid shits' (yet, touch wood... or cloth) So yay!

Heart - Palpitations - First 8 weeks was on and off most days to the point if I was sat still my heart would be palpitating. (I couldn't even sit and listen to music I enjoyed as it would make my heart go mad.) - When I do get the palpitations it sets most things off, so if palpitations do start I generally know I'm about to have rough couple of hours or days and can’t do much, for obvious safety reasons. Thankfully these have subsided a lot last 6 or so weeks. Still get them every few days but generally know whats setting me off and how to lower them down and they don’t last as long.

Hands and Feet - Skin been very dry last couple of months, cracking and peeling on hands and feet (ew) - Pins and needles/ numb fingers and toes - Get this a lot, obviously very normal stuff but just find them coming on a lot more (especially if i’m holding something like my ipad, phone or xbox controller for a while) Fingers feel numb/puffy a lot too. (Likely also why I keep dropping things) - Also to tie in with skin, have had a on /off spots on chest, face and shoulders for few weeks, they all came up at same time, not irritant or itchy or anything, just there.

General/Other weird things - Voice - So this is one that frustrates me the most, I have had next to no voice for last maybe 10 weeks. I just cant chat to people at moment. For first 4 weeks wasn't to bad (I even started a youtube channel to keep me occupied and distracted) but slowly week by week it went a little bit more each time. I can talk for short periods of time if I have to/choose to ,like its not gone completely, but it kicks up all the things I mentioned in my throat and mouth directly after. If the phone rings I have to decide if it’s worth answering, in doing so knowing i’m going to have a rough day or so after. Someday’s I feel it's better then others like couple of weeks ago, chatted to my brothers online on xbox for half an hour or so for the first time in weeks, and caught up with a friend on phone for 10 minutes...but a couple of days later everything flared up again. So it's still trial and error and just being patient with my voice. (I'm quite confident no long term damage is being done now as few people in group i’m in reported there voice just eventually got better over time.) Definitely the symptom I’m having to be most patient with. - Fatigue and tiredness - My days now are normally diddily done by 4-5, (except if its a bad day then most of the day is a write off) No matter how little or much I've done, by 5-6 my body and mind are exhausted. As someone who has insomnia, pre covid I would maybe have 1-2 all nighters every ten or so days sprinkled in with 5-6 days of at most 3-4 hours sleep. In the last 17 weeks I have had just 3 all nighters, and maybe just under ten 3-4 hour sleeps. Otherwise i’m getting at least 5+ hours a night. This is the one covid thing I'd like to keep please lol. I think it's easing a little (most the bad night sleeps have been in last month) and on good days tiredness is kicking in a little later, or it's taking me a little longer to drift off. But generally am cream crackerd a lot of time, especially if I push myself too far on a bad day. - Loss/Increased appetite - This sort of ties in with what I mentioned earlier about different foods causing set backs, the first 6 weeks I had no appetite and lost a bit of weight (I do put a lot of this down to extreme worry and stress thou) Then I went thru a phase of being very hungry for a few weeks and put most of the weight I had lost back on. I'm somewhere in the middle now, probably because I know most of anything I eat will set me back a little (because as mentioned fussy git = high histamine diet) so i’m cutting portions (otherwise known as the amount of cheese I add to everything!) and cutting out all most junk food (you’ll never part me from my crisps!) and non healthy drinks.

- Bloated and dehydration - This one I sort of put in pencil because it could be covid related but I also think it could be side effects from the brown asthma inhaler I was prescribed to help with breathing. I’m still undecided as it pops up especially when I was using inhaler more but it does happen days after I’ve last used it. At it’s worse I was getting up to pee a lot! because I was thirsty all the time. So of course was just very bloated around the belly.

*Also talking of peeing, (Great segway Ben) number 1′s and 2′s have been very different then normal, urine thicker and bubbly,and smells/is coloured different, (same with 2′s) Also have a completely different body odour at the moment,(pungent) having to use deodorant twice as much as normal. - Admit it your life’s a little bit better now you know that information.

- THE HEAT! - I touched on this with my mouth and nose being on fire, but for the first 10-12 weeks I did not go a day where at least a couple of things were not burning hot ,like hot to the touch as well, not just inside...(very different experience then having a temperature). Extreme heat in one very specific part of body. Ears, forehead, cheeks, chest, back, nose, mouth,throat to name a few of prominent ones. Over time they have faded (if something does feel hot now its generally not hot to the touch anymore.) Maybe on a bad day a couple of things will burn up. (But in saying that, been calling today a good day but nose is quite hot) but point is its better. - Mood swings/Anxiety - While i’m fairly confident anything emotional has stemmed from experiencing...well everything you've just read. Rather then it being its own symptom (thou I have had days of uncontrollable crying, days of anger..that perhaps outside of covid I would still of had one of those days but just not to such a extreme, I think with everything going on its just amped that emotion and anxiety up.) it's obviously been very stressful and anxiety inducing. That’s only calmed down in last week since finding the facebook group of other people going thru the same thing. I'm now seeing that people are slowly improving, i'm seeing I've not been going mad and it's all very real and not just happening to me. So the bad days are easier to deal with now and not hitting me emotionally like a ton of bricks anymore. I honestly couldn't see the end of the tunnel two weeks ago but can see it now (even if I take a step forward one day but then 2-3 back another...I see it still.)

*Mushy moment Alert - A good a place as any to include while I'm talking about emotion - Even thou she probs wont see this,but want to mention my mum. She’s been my rock thru all this, she messages me at least twice everyday without fail, since day 1. Even thou I know she's been worried sick about me herself, she's reassured and calmed me down on the harder more stressful days. I dread the mornings when things have gone downhill a bit and having to tell her ,because I know she'll worry, but after a few texts we both end up sort of reassuring and calming the other down. (especially in the earlier days when it was really bad, scary, new and unknown.) When it was really getting me down for a while and I wanted nothing to do with anything covid related and just stay in bed and pretend this wasn't happening to me, she dug out the articles and tips and things to help or give me a boost. (Not to mention all the coming and going she and my step dad have done for me last 4 months and taking care of my shopping for first 9 or so weeks...because I was a useless mess of a human) I know it’s basic mum stuff but this would be 10x harder and lonelier without her. Random detour I know but can’t talk about my covid experience and recovery without mentioning her.

Almost looking forward to sending her the first 'Everything normal today' text as much as I look forward to experiencing it....almost. ;-)

Amount of Symptoms On A Typical Day

On a good day - (when I think virus was at it's worse in the first 10-14 weeks) - 4-6 symptoms ( 2 or 3 cranked up to a medium or high otherwise on mild)

On a bad day - At peak/worse - 6-10 symptoms (throat, chest and no voice on high volume, maybe a couple of things like palpitations and brain fog, heat on medium/high, other weird stuff on mild/low)

Good day - Now 17 weeks in (excluding my voice which is still a medium to high issue most days) - 3-4 Symptoms on low to mild - usually there’s something still simmering on a medium always ready to turn up to a high if I push it too much in terms of walking or talking. (often my chest) Bad Day (Now) - 4-7 Symptoms - 1 to 3 on medium (maybe a couple will kick up to high on first day of a flare up, but generally now for shorter periods of time.)Everything else on mild or low.

So there has def been improvement in last 6 weeks, i’m sure it wont all be plain sailing and I know/prepare to expect another 'flare up' and then a bad few days. But recently instead of the bad days being 2-3 weeks of it constantly, the duration is getting shorter each time (last bad few days was just under a week) So things are slowly improving, and i’m sure in time so will the amount of symptoms and the strength of each symptom.

I've probably missed a couple of silly/odd little things that have gone on (likely because they were so early on or very brief (or I’ve forgotten) - fever and nausea to name a couple. When I got my notes together these were the main ones that came to mind. Quite a lot actually sitting back reading them, and I think the scary (but good) thing is, x-ray came back fine, bloods came back fine. People have had MRI's, camera’s down there throat, most coming back fine. Covid just not showing up on any tests(unless someones suffered further complications with something) - hence why a lot of people struggling to be taken seriously by there GP's or even loved ones who think there just 'exaggerating’ or its just ‘anxiety and stress'...no living with all what you just read causes anxiety and stress Mary!

But yeah could waffle on, once its definitely gone and I breathe and look back I can perhaps get a better overview of everything and give you better analysis of all that’s gone on. I get asked 'so when do you think it will be gone?' almost as much as 'are you better now?' To the first question, meh I don't know, I'm now into month 4/week 17 (well month 5 if I include last couple of days of Feb when I believe I caught it and had the very mild cold early March) still a lot of things going on with my body, some new things could still pop up, so instead of saying 'I think it will be gone by..' ,like I did in the first weeks. I'm just taking it week by week (or day by day if it kicks up a notch) not making any big demands of myself or my body, doing what I can each day....but not pushing it. Instead of the sad, anxiety inducing thought 'when will it go' or the one all us long haulers worry about a lot ‘Will it ever go?’ I now try to think instead 'it will go!.'

To any fellow long haulers I say hang in there, keep fighting, trust your body and that it will get better. Take it day by day. Stay as positive as you can when everything 'flares up again' after a couple of weeks of good progress (easier said then done I know) but know it wont be forever as much as it feels like it is. Don’t be afraid to ask for help (I hate going to Drs would much rather just 'get on with it' , but from pestering a little I got a blue inhaler which has helped me a lot day to day,and had x-ray and blood tests which also put my mind at ease when they came back clear. So don’t be afraid to ask to get these things checked if you’re worried. I've been lucky with my GP's thou who I think have generally believed me and taken me seriously and I know not everyone is getting that help or respect. I think it’s really not helped us that in the early days people were stubbing their toes and thinking they had caught covid and calling their Dr’s (I’m exaggerating but hopefully you get my point lol), so if you do get a not so helpful interaction, be patient,explain yourself or try again with another Dr, remember a GP will only advise you symptom by symptom and not as a whole. Anyway I’m repeating stuff you already know by now lol.

Stay positive. Stay hopeful and stay safe.

To anyone else, believe us, know this is very real, and that it absolutely sucks. Its not just anxiety or in our head. We're not exaggerating - in fact most of us are probably playing it down or just not elaborating on things for an easy life and because when someone asks 'are you better now?' it's easier to just smile and nod and answer 'getting there slowly' because the truth is...well what you just read lol. (And I'm a particularly mild case...next to no coughing, no spells in A and E, a breeze for a lot of other people with long term) Keep yourselves safe (most long haulers have no previous medical /problems/conditions. Some ,myself included, have weakened immune systems due to a long term health condition. A unlucky few are fighting another long term medical illness as well as covid. I'm lucky in that I have no dependants (except 4 easy to please gecko's) and was not working prior to catching it - some are having to deal with all this and be full time parents, or have been to and fro with their jobs (thinking there better then relapsing after going back). There’s mums messaging on behalf of there young kids who have it, lots of young people (one of the lads that co runs the group is 22 I believe), there's athletes/health fanatics used to running miles every day been completely knocked of there game unable to even walk to end of road some days. People of all age ranges. Point is anyone can catch it, it might not just be 'a couple of rough weeks' It might take over half a year for you to recover from. This myth that it's short and sweet, or a walk in the park if your young and healthy needs to be squashed because its just not accurate.

If not for my mum and our family and the facebook group I found, (Positive path of wellness - Covid UK Long Haulers) I'd be struggling, really struggling. It's scary, brutal and lonely. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. The virus is still out there it has not gone. Keep sanitising hands and wear a mask in busy places!. - Tell the guy who's life this has been for 17 weeks, why wearing a mask in public places, to keep yourself and others safe from catching this nightmare, is a inconvenience for you Karen...go on, I'll wait...

Maybe you can help prevent yours or someone else's next few months from being even worse. x

Was going to just make this a one time post on tumblr account but if it’s a help to anyone (especially fellow long haulers) I’ll post some other bits and bobs when i’m up to it. (thinking of doing a post about things/products etc that I think have been helping me. If that’s useful to anyone) Or just some positive/ funny things to keep spirits up. Keeping it all positive and upbeat as possible.

So I’ll see if anyone reads this first and go from there

So I guess in conclusion ...lol I’m just joking, this post is really done now, go back to your lives, this garbled mess of self woe (worlds smallest violin is back in its case now), sarcasm and naff humour has taken up far too much of all of our days already. Go peacefully amongst the things. :-)

Stay safe everyone x

#covid-19 #covid19longhaul #longtermcovid #coronavirus #coronalonghaul #covid 19 symptoms #corona symptoms #long haul covid #covid long haulers #covid recovery #covid uk #corona uk #corona long haulers uk

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might-guys-acorn · 5 years ago

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So I wrote this whole post, and it didnt post correctly so I deleted it like a dumbass. So I decided to rewrite it because I liked it a lot. Heres prompt number 7 "If you want to leave, then walk me out." (Alone with You by Canyon City) with the one and only, Sasuke Uchiha. Thanks for all the love and support❤

-🦎

===============================

Okay, yes. He left the village. He betrayed everyone. He has lifelong vendetta against his brother that causes him to be a raging asshole sometimes. But as he stands here, looking as though hes seen a ghost, staring at you in your chunin vest in the middle of a clearing in the woods outside the village, your head isnt filled with memories of contempt or hatred, but of your own childhood. Him as a child, on the swingset, telling you that you have pretty eyes before running away with a toddler blush tinting his cheeks. Feeling his hard gaze on the back of your neck at the academy. Bring him dango as he burns his face and hands over and over while practicing his fireball jutsu. You were kind of friends, once upon a time.

"You look well." His voice breaks your thoughts and many more rush in to fill thier place. You look well? Really? After everything hes done, thats all he can think to say? Seriously?

"Wish I could say the same for you." Your reply was meant to sound irritated or malicious, but came out more sorrowful than anything.

"Id like to think I look stronger." He replies with a smirk.

"You know thats not what I meant, Sasuke." You meet his eyes and watch him flinch at the sound of his name leaving your lips. Your heart clenches at the sight if him and you cant help but think this was an awful mission to send you on. The whole basis of this assignment reeked of Orochimaru's involvement and it had been rumored that Sasuke had joined him. But, still, Lady Sixth couldnt have known of your past with the Uchiha, after all it was only a faint whisper of fondness from what felt like a lifetime ago. So why did it have to effect you so much, now?

"Y/N, I dont want to hurt you. So leave before I have to." He looks at the sky, avoiding your unrelenting gaze.

"Im sorry, but what makes you think you have the right to talk to me as if I'm a child." You could never stand being patronized, by anyone. Its half the reason you became a shinobi. He looks at you, surprised at your tone, but before he can say anything, a man with silver-white hair and glasses emerges from behind him.

"Sasuke, Lord Orochi- Oh, what do we have here?" The man looks over at you, his voice was soft but had an edge to it that sent shivers down your spine. As you look at him, you see an awful lot of scratches and bruises, almost as if he'd been in a fight-

"Where are my teammates?" You ask, not letting the worry in your heart seep through your words. The man, Kabuto Yakushi you believed was his name, smirked at you. You glance at Sasuke, but his eyes remained glued to the forest floor.

"In a cell, having their blood drawn for some tests." Before you could even try to deflect, Kabuto had tossed a needle at you, peircing your upper right shoulder. "Just like youre about to be in 10 minutes."

His words at the end were garbled to your ears, the poison on the needle quickly rushing through your veins. Before the darkness took hold, you caught a small glimpse of regret in Sasuke's downcast glare.

===============================

You sat up quickly, and felt the whole world lurch at the movement. The poison had not fully left your system, so everything had a fuzzy filter overtop of it. You glaced around, taking in the large stone cell in front of you, the glare of torchfire on the moist rock walls around you, and your 3 teammates still unconscious on the ground. You stood up slowly, using the wall next to you for support, and noticed a small gauze pad taped to the crook of your elbow. That asshole took my blood, you think with a grimace.

Moving your gaze to the bars in front of you, you notice a familiar figure resting against the wall in front of your cell.

"Sasuke, what are you doing here?" Your voice is raspy after a couple of hours of rest.

"Im free to go where ever I like, its not like they could stop me." He says back, meeting your gaze. Still as cocky as always, isnt he?

"Let me rephrase, why are you here?"

"I should ask you the same question." He raises his eyebrows, clearly asking what brought your team around the unknowingly claimed neck of the woods.

"We were sent on a mission to recover a stolen document on a forbidden medical ninjutsu. It was my first mission as team captain." You didnt want his sympathy for this failure, but you were clearly frustrated with the concept of being captured.

"I see. Well I cant say Im thrilled at the thought of you being here. Unfortunately, Im still nostalgically fond of you." He replies, his words ringing in your ears as you struggle to grasp what he's saying.

"If you want to leave, then walk me out." You say, under the impression that he may have changed his mind about Konoha.

He laughs at your statement. "I'll stop by later." He says over his shoulder and you curse quietly to yourself, watching his retreating figure flicker in the torchlight of the cave.

===============================

God, how long has it been since youve all seen another being? You pace the floor of the cell and hear your team mumbling about possible escape plans in the corner behind you. Theres been no food, not water, no human presence, other than that of the ones sharing the cell with you. It must have been at least a day and a half now. You turn on your heel and start to pace the other direction, but stop at the mysterious figure in front of the bars on your confinement. Your teammates notice him as well, and take up arms to defend themselves.

"Youre back." You say flatly, knowing full well the posture of the man in front of you.

"I told you I would be," he says quietly, your comrades arms fall to their sides in surprise at the semi-friendly interaction. "Now keep your voice down, everyone is asleep."

The light in the cave never waivered, so you had no concept of time. If it was night, than it had to have been 2 full days already. Damn.

You look at him, and watch as he makes the signs for a familiar lightning style jutsu. One that your godfather, Kakashi Hatake, had passed onto you. Your surprise at his use of it wained when you remembered that Uncle Kakashi had once been Sasuke's sensei, a long time ago. The Uchiha aimed the lightning blade at the lock on the cell and it burst open.

"Sasuke, what are you-"

"Hush and move quickly" he whispers forcefully. You usher your teammates out of the cell, and as soon as you step beaide him, Sasuke grabs your hand and rushes your through the labrynth of the hideout. Finally coming to a unsuspecting wall, he signs for the Lightning Blade again, and tears a large hole into the night. The quiet footsteps inside the cave are replaced by a loud rhythm of cicadas, and a few thuds of some fallen rubble. The five of you move quickly, into the clearing where you had come face to face with this man from your past two days ago.

Why did he do this? You think to yourself, and then standing in the clearing, the quiet footsteps, the lightning blade, it all made sense.

"You made it look like we escaped ourselves." You say to him, and then another moment of realization, "Youre not coming back with us."

He took a step towards you, grabbed your hand and placed a small scroll into it. It took one glance for you to realize it was the medical document you were sent to retrieve. He not only saved you, but made sure your first mission as captain was a success. You stare at him blankly, and he smirks as he touches two fingers to your forehead, "Dont get caught up in this again, I cant always come to your rescue."

"I dont need your rescuing, after all it was my jutsu that helped us escape." You laugh at him, and then turn, passing the scroll in your hand to your teammates behind you. You send them on, leaving you alone for your goodbyes.

"Dont say anything about this, I was simply training tonight, and didn't hear the commotion." He looks at you, and you nod, a secret understanding between two old friends.

You take a step towards him, lean up on your toes and kiss his cheek lightly, "I'll be saving some dango for you, when you finally decide to come home."

You turn and take off, following your teammates, the small smile and light blush on his cheeks burned into your brain. Oh how your childhood can sneak up on you.

Smiling in the treetops, you can't help but think, He really did walk me out.

#sasuke #sasuke uchiha #sasuke x reader #naruto imagines #naruto #naruto imagine #sasuke fluff

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nevermindthewind · 6 years ago

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our lips are like glue (i think i love you)

27. Kisses exchanged while one person sits on the other’s lap -- requested by two lovely anons <3

For the most part, Dog Party 2016 is a carbon copy of previous detective only getaways. Vacation Terry has his rainbow robe on and his fanny pack stocked with everything from playing cards to PEZ dispensers. Gina’s convinced Charles to let her have the master bedroom. Hitchcock and Scully have already gone through two family sized bags of Cheetos. And there are exactly 12 bottles of wine and an equal amount of vodka AND tequila, several of which have already been consumed. It’s familiar and relaxing. It’s everything a mini vacation should be.

There is, however, one major difference between this and all other previous detective weekends; well technically two major differences. And those two differences are currently curled up in an armchair making what can only be described as googly eyes at each other as the other detectives sit around the couch, taking bets over who will win the next round of quarters.

In their defense, Jake and Amy have been dating for precisely three months and they like each other a lot, okay?

Besides, it’s not like they meant to separate themselves from the group. It’s just that there were only so many spots in the living room. It was only natural that Amy offer to sit on her boyfriend’s lap. They were being good friends, the most considerate co-workers this side of the Manhattan Bridge. So, after forcing Charles to swear not to make it weird, Amy settles herself onto Jake’s lap, curling her legs onto the couch and her head into his chest while Jake lazily drapes an arm across her waist. Almost immediately Amy feels the two glasses of wine from dinner make her head go slightly fuzzy while her eyelids start to feel three times heavier than usual. She’s just allowed her eyes to close when a soft, low voice vibrates against her ear.

“Don’t tell me you’re gonna fall asleep on me, Santiago?” Jake’s breath tickles against her ear.

“Nope.” Amy sighs, shaking her head against his collarbone. “Just comfy. And happy.”

She feels his smile widen. “Oh yeah?”

“Mmhm.” She scoots further into his lap and wraps her arm around his, her eyes still closed. “You’re the comfiest chair ever.”

“Well that just might be the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.”

Amy scoffs. “Don’t let it go to your head.”

“Too late,” he says. His free hand finds its way into her hair and tracing lazy patterns the way he knows she likes. Amy can’t help the tiny shiver that runs down her spine. He really is so good with his hands. “I’ve already added ‘best chair in the universe’ to the top of my resume. After I’m done with you I have a meeting with Ikea to discuss my brand deal and furniture line.”

“Oh my gooood,” Amy groans, finally opening her eyes to give him a proper Santiago eyeroll to see Jake giving her a cheeky close-lipped grin. “You’re such a weirdo, you know that?”

“Yes, but I’m your weirdo,” he says proudly, leaning down to meet her lips with his.

“And don’t you forget it.” Amy reflexively brings her hand to the back of his neck, pulling him closer still as she parts her lips and invites him in. She can feel him smile against her before fully committing to the cause, drawing out the kiss a bit longer than they ever would’ve attempted sober. They pull apart before Charles -- or anyone else for that matter -- catches them. Amy’s hand slides down to his chest, resting just over his heart, her eyes flickering back from his mouth to his own slightly dazed eyes. A surge of pride runs through her, knowing she has the power to render the ever-talkative Jake Peralta speechless. “You won’t forget that anytime soon, will you?”

Jake chuckles before planting another sweet, lingering kiss on her lips. “Amy Santiago, I couldn’t forget you even if I wanted to.”

Amy’s just about to respond when a blur of red wizzes right past her cheek. Both her and Jake whip around to see Rosa smirking right at them with one eyebrow raised.

“Alright, lovebirds. Either come play the game or get a room. No one wants to watch you two make out like horny teenagers all night.”

Charles pops his head out from behind Terry. “I actually don’t mind at all --”

The little interruption is all the motivation Amy needs to spring off Jake’s lap. But before she can go too far she feels a hand pull her back. She turns just in time for Jake to give her one final kiss. “First to win at quarters gives the other a backrub?”

Amy’s eyes light up. He really does know her.

“You’re so on.”

#my writing #peraltiago #jake x amy #fic #kiss prompts

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peacedolantwins · 6 years ago

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Clean (E.D.) Part 4

A/N: I know its been a while since I’ve last updated this I’m so sorry, but hopefully the next one wont take as long, I’m already working on it. so heres part 4, hope you enjoy! :) part 3

After your talk with James, you had texted Ethan and met up with him a few days later. You two got to talking and after some apologizing on both sides, you for overreacting and not hearing him out and him for saying what he did and how he treated you in the car.

That was three months ago. Thats also how you found yourself on the twins couch with Ethan's arm slung around you as he still slept. Everyone had decided to have a sleepover at their house and everyone was around the room in different areas. James was on the other couch across from Grayson while Emma and Ian were laid out across the floor in piles of blankets and pillows they must have stolen from the boys’ room.

While it may have seemed like you two were moving quick, it didn't feel it. You and Ethan just seemed to click right away and everyone was able to see it. He was more open when you were around and he smiled so much more. You were finally doing better than you ever were because he showed you how to have fun just living and doing little things. It felt amazing that he brought back your ability to feel childish which was something you thought you lost a long time ago.

Gently moving his arm off of you, you got up and headed outside. Your feet covered in fuzzy socks to keep warm softly pattered the wood floor as you quietly opened the glass sliding door not wanting to wake up anyone else. The sun was barely beginning to rise and it was always so beautiful and you had to take advantage of the view the boys had from their backyard.

You winced when the door made a loud click as you shut it, hoping no one else heard it. Looking through the glass, no one seemed bothered so you went and sat down next to the pool, pulling your legs up to your chest. Just breathing in the chilled air always calmed you down but at the same time, you hid your arms back in the hoodie you stole from Ethan to keep warm. You thought about how much your life has changed and you couldnt be happier for it.

So consumed in your thoughts, you didnt hear the door shut again and it wasnt until someone was next to you wrapping half the blanket around you did you realize someone else was here.

“Morning, kitty” James leaned over and pulled you into his side.

“Morning. Sorry if I woke you up, I didnt mean to,” you apologized and leaned into him, really glad for the warmth he was providing. While LA never really got too cold, that didnt mean it was always completely warm.

You two sat there in silence just appreciating each others presence. As your best friend, James could tell there was something on your mind.

“Penny for your thoughts?”

“Hm? Oh, no.. I just… I'm really happy about where I'm at right now. With you and Ian… I cant say thank you enough for still letting me stay with you after everything. And with Ethan too, I really like him and I'm so happy you brought him, well both of them into my life but I-” you stopped, not really sure if you wanted to get into this so early in the day.

“I'm scared.” While James wasnt sure what you were going to say, that wasnt it.

“Scared?”

“Im scared that if I tell them about before they'll leave.” You said it so quietly James wasnt sure if he heard you correctly.

“Y/N… why would you think either one of them would leave?”

“Are you really asking why? You've heard them and what they say. They dont hang around with “people like that,” and I happen to be one of those people. Theyve even said it in videos how they dont like it. And thats okay that they dont but I just-” you took a breath in and looked away from James.

“I dont want either of them to see me as that. I dont want them to look at me the way everyone back home looked at me. You wouldnt even talk to me for a few weeks when you found out and you're my best friend but I get it.”

“Y/N, I'm going to stop you right there. Hun, I am so sorry I wasnt there for you during everything and I'm so sorry I didnt talk to you when you needed me or just about anyone.” He turned to face you and held you at arms length to look at you properly.

“I was so embarrassed and ashamed when you found out and I am so scared of what either of them will say if they find out. I know it'll only get worse the longer I keep it hidden away but I dont wanna ruin anything and I dont want to lose Ethan- oh god what do I even say to him? ‘Hi, really quick just wanted to let you know youre dating an alcoholic that also has videos and photos of her naked and doing god knows what else out there’?” You knew how they boys felt about drinking and partying and just the thought of either of them finding out terrified you.

“If you dont want to tell them, thats okay. Me and Ian wont say anything to them.” He tried to comfort you after seeing how worked up you were getting.

“But I dont want to have to hide it. I fucked up in the past and I know that. Im dealing with it. These past few months have been exhausting trying to cover everything up. Im tired of having to come up with lies about where I go twice a week a night for meetings. I dont like seeing you or Ian getting asked all the time why you take my money and ID when I'm upset and leave the house. I dont want to ever have to deal with what would happen if Ethan saw my phone and saw me calling my sponsor and thinking I'm talking to some other guy. Everything is so good between us and I dont want to mess that up but not saying anything could also ruin everything and I dont know what to do.” You wiped away the few tears that fell with the sleeves you- his hoodie and fell into James's arms.

He held you and patted your hair while you got your breathing under control and once you were doing better, he peeled you off of him.

“Listen, if and when you feel ready to tell them, I'll still be here for you. Ian and I arent going anywhere. If you want, we can be there with you when you tell them, okay? I know you're older than me but you're still our little sister and were not going to let anything bad happen if we can help it.” You nodded your head in his chest and turned back to face the sunrise. While your morning may have just got a lot more emotional than you were planning, you were still going to appreciate the little things you still had.

You heard the glass door open and shut behind you, but you didnt bother turning around, assuming it was probably Grayson since he was always up early.

When someone plopped down next you, you werent expecting them to pull you from James and tuck themselves under your am and end up basically laying on you. Looking down you found Ethan cuddling into you and pressing his head into your chest.

“Found you,” he pulled hard on the blanket to take it away from James to which he let out an “excuse me” at that made you laugh as Ethan threw the blanket over the two of you. Knowing he wasnt a morning person, James left it alone probably for the better considering how close you all were to the pool.

“C'mon, lets go back in,” You patted his back and tried to sit up but his weight kept you down.

“Ethan, lets go back inside and we can cuddle on the couch okay?” After a very long and over dramatic sigh, he finally got up and pulled you up with him. He started walking in, taking the blanket with him and left you and James still outside. After helping your friend up, he turned to you.

“Sweetheart, that boy is all over you and does anything you ask. He’s never up before noon but he got up because you werent next to him. There's no way he's going to leave if you tell him.” You both walked over to the doors and watched as Ethan stole another blanket off the ground and threw himself down on the couch.

“I really hope you're right,” You smiled at James before heading back in to join your boyfriend in a much needed cuddle session.

#dolan twins fanfic #dolan twins imagine #dolan twins fic #dolan twins #ethan dolan imagine #ethan dolan fic #grayson dolan imagine #grayson dolan fic #fic #mine #Clean #ethan dolan fanfic

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reneereadskingdomofash · 6 years ago

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Thoughts on the Ships in Kingdom of Ash

Ok, I’m writing some thoughts on the Ships in Kingdom of Ash. I’ve jumped onto a few posts, but I feel like I’m probably not being clear because well, I talk to people outside of those posts via different channels and so people aren’t getting the full picture.

Not that this matters of course, the internet and tumblr is only a snapshot, but I wanted to write some clear thoughts on the Ships and how I am feeling about them before/during/and now two weeks after having finished the book. 1. perspectives change. 2. Reading other peoples thoughts that might enhance our own understanding happens too. **SPOILERS BELOW CUT**

Rowaelin

Before Koa: Yes, I dig it. Empire of Storms was their peak love story! Heir of Fire gave me all the Angst - love and hate, falling in love with the trainer, Queen of Shadows gave me my reunion and happiness to fight the bad guys and Empire of Storms gave me the sexy times. The Ship had sailed. Then Maeve came in Empire of Storms. And I was worried for my ship, but only because I was worried for the individual parts of the whole. What happens if they die! What happens if Aelin isn’t who she was. What happens to them! they deserve a happily ever after. *insert renee crying lots at the end of Empire of Storms*

During Koa: I was scared. Aelin wasn’t who she was. Rowan was loosing himself in the hunt for her. What was this new thing between Fenrys and her and Rowan was on the outs? What did this mean? Why couldn't she talk? Where was my Aelin!!! Aelin had hardened and I was scared, and Rowan was scared and it made me think - she’s going to die and i’m going to cry. Then Aneille happened and Aelin almost came back. She was as close to the old Aelin as I think was possible given the trauma that she went through. Rowan didn’t care. He would have loved her anyway. Such a pure ship. And then they go on to save the world. Once Aelin had forged the lock, I wasn’t scared for her anymore. I didn’t think she might die, I didn’t think Rowan would either. The lock felt like it was the start of their happy ending. Sure lots of stuff to go on but the ship was good.

After Koa: Same feelings. I still love Rowaelin. But I got to experience their journey over 4 books! It was satisfying in that they had page time but it didn't detract from the story. So When I’m not enthusiastic about Rowaelin - Its not because I don’t love them, I’ve just been with them a long time. There wasn’t any doubt in my mind that they would be ok.

Elorcan (aka the ship I wanted to sail more than any other)

Before Koa: I was scared. I feel so hard into this ship when I read Empire of Storms. And then when I re-read it before KoA I fell harder. I loved Lorcan from the start. A grumpy demi-fae, who is the most powerful, who seems angry, who doesn’t show emotions, who would do anything for his friends. (sure misguided sometimes - but that’s what it boils down to). He came to Rowan’s aid in Heir of Fire. He came for his friend. Not his general. He didn’t have time for Aelin - some mortal girl who people had an interest in. It wasn’t why he came. People who know me - know I have been cheering for Lorcan the past two years. That he’s going to show this side of himself. My morally grey Lorcan. And then Queen of Shadows and Empire of Storms happened. Oh man. Elide, my witch baby standing up for those who cant do it for themselves! She took on Vernon for Kaltain, she is bad-ass! She is the my love just as Lorcan is my love. I’m so torn I love them both. Its a good thing they found each other. Anyway. Elide stands up to him, she fights for herself and others. She protects him and he does the same back. So I love them. Elide threw herself in front of a wolf (Fenrys to save him!) And When Lorcan called for Maeve - my heart sank. Lorcan u big Dummy! I love you but come on! And then the theories started. and I wrote some too. Maybe if I think of the worst possible thing that can happen and put it out into the world it wont happen. Like jinxing the bad stuff. Lorcan “SALVATERRE” savior of lands- does that mean he will sacrifice himself??? Honestly my biggest fear going in.

During Koa: Kingdom of Ash was a roller-coaster for my ship. I was so invested in everything they did. I paid way too much attention to their sections than other ships. - honestly I skim read nestaq scenes (who I love). which is bad I know. but elorcan for life apparently. And Lorcan was being sneaky and trying to help Elide be comfortable (sure more period talk but what ever) because he had been traveling with her for months and months and knew she needed stuff. He shows love by doing. Not always doing the right thing (his decision making skills need work) - but he tries. Elide was a bitch at the start. Just going to say it. Sure she might have been justified, but sometimes you don’t need to voice all the nasty things in your head. And I got mad at her. Then she basically said she wouldn’t care if Lorcan died. And his heart broke and my heart broke and I was upset and probably crying. AND THEN THE BATTLE OF ANEILLE HAPPENED AND I CRIED!!! AND I SCREAMED AT MY BOOK. Direct quote from my notes: “ P500 - NOT HAPPY! Lorcan!!!! OMG NOT HAPPY! LORCAN JUST DROPPED HIS SHEILDS - fucking egg! Omg ahhh! Crap. Crap crap.” I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t have dropped his shields if Elide hadn’t said such horrible things to him and he didn’t feel like he needed to die. So I was mad, fucking live you dork. Its just a girl! I ship you two, but if You are both going to be Dorks then I don’t! So when Elide went to go find him I was like - OMG YES U DO LOVE HIM... direct quote from my notes: “ I'm crying .... Elide- "I will always find you", running down the stairs... oh it hurts.... please please be ok .... Ahhh she grabbed chaols horse! A horse for Hellas himself... ahh Lol and then that's explained a couple of pages over Lorcan!!!(517) "Get up" :sobbing emojis: "I promised to always find you. I promised you, and you promised me. I came for you because of it; I am here because of it. I am here for you, do you understand? And if we don't get onto that horse now, we won't stand a chance against that dam. We will die." P 520 :more sobbing emojis: Omg :more sobbing emojis: You have to let me go I love you And I will be with you.... I will be with you always :more sobbing emojis: Lorcan Omg Fucking hell And elide! Yes! You claw at him girl!! That dam! Oof Omg my ship - you are killing me “

Honestly. Such a Rollercoaster. So as you can see I was invested. and then they seemed to tentatively get over each other and what happened and proceeded to get cuter and cuter as the book went on and just gave me warm fuzzies and happiness.

After Koa: I love this ship. I would die for this ship. Fight me! - oh majority of fandom also Like my ship now... cool cool. that’s cool. guess we cool.

Manorian

Before Koa: I dig it. Its alright. Manon eats men for breakfast so Dorian has a little bit of a death wish but I can see that playfulness, that bond from living a similar life. Heirs in name only, for the longest time. I appreciated it, but wasn't strongly invested. I had picked my OTP already. Still enjoy this ship tho - just less invested.

During Koa: I really liked the tentative relationship between Manon and Dorian. I have so many notes about how I think he is a witch tho - so those stand out in my notes more than ship points. I liked that they shared a tent when Manon never did. I liked that Dorian spent time with the 13 developing friendships. It showed that he wanted to know Manon, more than just for sex. But it also cannot be denied that they like sex and used it to avoid talking. That happens in relationships too - not necessarily bad. Its one of the things I actually like about SJM’s ships they aren’t cookie cutter relationships. But I did feel like both Manon and Dorian chose the mission over the relationship (For Now) which is fine too btw. In life we might take a job in a different city and do long distance and still come back to each other. I think Dorian lying to Manon on their last night together by omission is a little sucky. But again. relationships have ups and downs. I’m glad it kinda ended there. Sure they come back together, But I like that its left open. Firstly because they have had the ship burn in flames - their isn’t an “unhappy” ending... the story is still playing out. We just cut away before seeing the end.

After Koa: Wow ok. So people have lots of thoughts on this ship and maybe I should have been paying attention. Why don’t people like it open ended... ok? maybe its a loose end but there is still a book to come (the world of throne of glass) and sure its not a novel about Aelin. This doesn't mean it wont tell us about the encyclopedic history or Ardarlan and the Witch kingdom and how both are run by people who are seeing each other. A certain boy who knows how to use portals to get from one place to the other quickly - doesn't seem like living on opposite sides on the continent is going to be a problem.... maybe that’s just the optimist in me. If they have children - a girl to rule the wastes and a boy to be king. Seems like an amazing fit. I’d really like to see this happen tbh, but this takes time and time KoA didn’t have in the pages - but - maybe - the world of throne of glass will.

Chaorian

Before Koa: Ahh cute - they had their love story i’m happy!

During Koa: Damn I love Yrene. Shes the best. Chaol, you are ok too - but Yrene has your back and is the light relief in your life. Chaol you are too serious - listen to your wife.

After Koa: awwww little wittle chaorene babies. awwwwww daddy Chaol. awww uncle Dorian. <3 <3 so many warm fuzzies.

Nestaq

Before Koa: I ship them so Hard OMG SARTAQ I LOVE YOU. You are a way better fit for Nesryn than Chaol. Man i’m glad she met you.

During Koa: oof Sartaq why u gotta have a Khagan hat on - you are so serious. Good thing Borte is there.

After Koa: Nesryn has no idea what she is in for - Can I please get more Yeran and Borte. Still love Nestaq - but I understand the peak of their story was in Tower of Dawn.

Lysaedion

Before Koa: Oh Man you two. The end of Empire of Storms - Aedion you are a dick! Why! Why! Oh you better just be mad and make it up to her. You love her dang it, you wanted to marry her! Argh. I don’t know how to feel, I like them together - but what is this past Aedion has? What is coming. I don’t want to get my hopes up.

During Koa: Aedion! Aedion! What! Are! you! doing!

I’m so mad at Aedion right now. You better apologise.

Its so complicated to break down. But basically Aedion is being an A-hole to Lysandra and she doesn’t deserve it. She is running herself into the ground and you do that! Aedion! I’m so conflicted, why are you a good dad to Evangeline but an awful person to Lys! AHHH AEDION STOP!

After Koa: I still don’t know how to break down this relationship. It sets off so many red flags for me. - About how someone can be a great dad but an awful partner. - About how someone can be abusive essentially but explain away their actions. - About how other people stand by and watch, when they see this behavior. - About how it is all “circumstances”.

Now - I think its fine for people to work through things and overcome their problems if they want to but that takes time. What Aedion did in Kingdom of Ash did not make me think he should have been able to win Lysandra back as quickly as he did near the end of the book. And it hurts. However I know people in real life who have gone back to people who have treated them badly. So its not uncommon. It is their decision. It just hurts.

Part of me wants them to get a divorce and I’ve made a couple of joke-ish statements about that. But I could have been on Lysaedion’s side if it had a similar ending to Manorian. If it was left hanging, left on a - lets see where this goes. War does strange things to people, and I think Aedion was affected more than others, but he needs to prove he isn’t going to be the man who threw Lysandra out into the cold. In my eyes at least.

I have prob left ships out, and thoughts out but this is a lot of writing for me that’s not counting towards my nanowrimo - hahaha.

#koa spoilers #koa #koa spoiler #ships #ship discourse #elorcan are my otp incase no one knew #hahaha #elorcan #rowaelin #manorian #lysaedion #nestaq #chaorene #renee rambles #sorry its long #no need to read #just thoughts

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