#everything in life is changing and i have a lot of optimism but there's so so much fear and sorrow and dispair

[portablecity]

where i grew up, the hangout spot was the mall, and it was bleak, folks! but it was more accessible than the playgrounds and parks (not allowed to be in them if little kids were in them; also not allowed to be in them after sunset) and it asked less from you than a coffee shop or fast food restaurant (seating time limit, minimum purchases) and it was more protected than the various parking lots outside takeout spots and coffee shops where teens would park their cars and just loiter. Despite the many signs with instructions not to loiter.

The thing about the mall, though, is that while you could walk around indoors with your friends the whole time it was open and never buy anything, and you could sit in the food court, or on benches throughout the mall, until the mall cops chased you out of that one corner into the next farther along, the problem with it really was that it was a fucking mall. I know we live in an absolutely advertising saturated age now, so it might be hard to sort of separate this out, but it's actually not a positive experience to do all of your socializing and relaxing in a space that is constantly selling you things.

one of the problems of being constantly sold to is that it can be difficult not to talk about the subjects that are being put in front of you, even if you have no risk of actually spending money on them. So in the mall we would find ourselves talking constantly about clothes and makeup and shoes and magazines - yeah I'm old enough for magazines - and maybe, if the mall we were in had relevant stores, books or music or video games. But you couldn't watch a movie or play a video game together in the mall, and eventually the bookstore staff would come and chase you out if you all sat on the floor to read anything. and the only music you got to hear was piped in over loud speakers.

actually like think about that for a second, if you do all of your hanging out in the mall, the only music that you get to hear with your friends is the music that stores play at you to get you in the mood to buy their stuff. When people try and explain why we got so fucking sick of nickelback, I want you to imagine a world where that is the most interesting music the mall is willing to play for you, and they are going to play it on loop.

The other thing about hanging out in the mall, though this maybe changed by age and location, was it was likely that a bunch of you worked in the mall. So you already spent a fair amount of your time listening to mall music, quickly eating food court food, and dealing with other mall patrons, including your friends, for minimum wage. takes the shine off pretty quickly, I think.

When I first started working at the mall I was really curious about what the mall was like when it wasn't open, if there was sort of a secret second layer to the mall of back passages to garbage bins or bank deposit slots, if there was an interesting layer to its liminal space. unfortunately I think the answer in most cases is a firm no. malls exist to sell you things, and they are very much optimized to do that, and they don't tend to have interesting misused corners while in normal operation. dead malls are different.

so yeah hanging out in the mall, I can definitely see how with the few other options on the table the mall can look pretty good but More than a lot of places, a mall is designed to convince you the that you're the sort of person who wants to spend all of their money on the things at the mall has, and people have worked for decades and decades to optimize the architecture, the visual design, the sound design and everything else towards that goal. it turns your friendships and your social life into a thing that happens explicitly at the site of spending money, of consumption, etc. I don't think it's great.

and I do think a lot about how the internet these days is so riddled with ads and so intensely about consumption, shopping, products. I think we've really found ourselves in a place where all we have is the mall, just, the shittiest version of it.

I understand that we're all mourning the death of public third spaces and feeling nostalgic for how things were in the 80s or whatever, but in terms of lost treasures of the past, I feel like people are losing sight of the fact that the go-to hangout spot being a shopping center/"mall" was already a pretty bleak expression of how (especially US) culture revolved around capitalist consumerism? Even before they started to ban teenagers from existing there.

Idk whenever I see a nostalgic aesthetic post venerating the lost magic of a shopping multiplex I just imagine in 30 years time people going "these were the good times... What we lost" and then just posting a screenshot of the Amazon.com homepage, pffff

When we rebuild society I feel like we should try to make the social centerpieces/hangout spots like, parks, and entertainment/community/leisure centers, rather than money extraction complexes

[weirdasscomments]

[bongsavior]

Tell me how we're ripping ourselves away from each other because we have to for both of our sanities but i'm STILL out here wet as a fucking lake at the thought of you. I'm helpless

[mxdotpng]

the soremik in my head is so vastly different from anyone elses idea of them that i fear if i ever speak out on the subject i'll have rocks thrown at me. but once again they are allowed to look but never touch. you have to expect this from me by now.

[mr-jack-letterman]

We need more young stan content out here.

And nah I ain't talking about 12 year old Stanley or 30 year old mullet Stan, I'm talking 17 year old, slicked back hair, acne riddled Stan pines.

Yeah that one.

I am so happy mullet Stan is so popular because his fit slaps ngl and the angst is so potent I can't not respect it. But teenage Stan has so much potential it's driving me insane.

There is a line dividing the 17 years of relative happiness Stan had with Ford and the 10+ years of depression and crime he had on the streets, and teenage Stan uses that line as a goddamn jump rope.

Seriously, depending on how you look at it dude is either living his best life or is fighting for said life in the trenches of homelessness and poverty.

I see a lot of content regarding Stan on the streets but it only ever focuses on 30ish Stan in his later years of homelessness where he's already a hardened adult after years of dealing with this bullshit. But Stan didn't just drive away and then magically turn 30. There were times in those first few months after Stan got kicked out where he was in his car, trying to sleep, probably starving, while still being fundamentally a child.

Hell, compared to the 30ish age of mullet Stan and the 60+ year old con man he'd later become, teenage Stan is damn near a baby. There's a certain brightness about him, a sort of warm naive optimism that still clings to him because he's straight up just too young to know any better.

He's still fully convinced he's gonna make it rich and go back to his family in a few years. He still believes wholeheartedly that even if shit sucks right now, eventually everything is gonna be okay. It has to be. But it's not gonna be okay. It's not gonna be okay for a long time. And some parts are just never gonna be okay.

Seeing a happy and oblivious teenage Stan feels like watching a baby lamb walk into a slaughter house.

The next 10-something years are going to tear him apart limb from limb. In 40 years he's going to wake up on a boat during a bout of amnesia thinking he's in Columbian prison, or he's locked in the trunk of a car and about to drown, or his shoulder is on fire and his brother is gone, or it's the end of the world and everyone he ever dared to give a shit about is about to die in front of him and it's all his fault because he was too weak to stop it.

At some point, a young Stanley is going to get into his first true life or death fight. He doesn't even have to be involved with crime yet for it to happen. He's probably bruised and bleeding, with not nearly enough money to afford a doctor. He's sitting in the driver's seat of his El Diablo having a complete and utter break down because he almost died and suddenly everything is real.

Nothing is okay, absolutely nothing is going to be okay and whatever is left of his teenage innocence, naivety, and warmth dies in that car and it never comes back.

The next 10+ years are going to fundamentally change Stanley as a person and he's never going to be the same ever again. But teenage Stan doesn't know that, he's still a kid trying to sleep in the back of his car, ignoring hunger pangs and finding comfort in the half baked business ideas his mind cooks up because he doesn't understand how utterly done for he is.

12 year old Stanley I believe is so appealing because of his bright rambunctious spirit. He's still just a kid playing on the beach with his brother, but so was teenage Stan. I just wish the wholesomeness that comes with that and the subsequent hurt that follows as that spirit is broken over and over again by the world was explored more.

Thank you for coming to my Ted talk.

[moyokeansimblr]

Moyo's Great Big Afterglow Default Project

HOORAH! 🥳Finally I can share with you guys! There's a lot to get through here so some notes beforehand.

There are way, way too many hairs to list and people to credit. See everything that's included and who all deserves credit in the spreadsheet I made for this project!

Not every hair is replaced! I don't know much about hidden clone hairs, for example. Some of them are replaced if the default I used as a base included them but most probably are not.

I chose to hide a bunch of the OFB hats and whatnot when I was starting to get burnt out of this project. See what hairs I've hidden on the hiders tab of the spreadsheet. Hiders are not included, but there's a link to them.

There's a few defaults I'm using from loosiap, rudhira and seabens. They are not included, see those in the defaults by others tab of the spreadsheet.

I use a bunch of no/random npc hair mods so not all npc hairs are replaced. See those in the no/random npc tab of the spreadsheet.

I use custom turn ons that change the one for hats so a lot of the hat hairs are replaced with non-hat hairs. I think most of the flags in simpe are changed to non-hat too but not positive - some might still be hat flagged.

Defaults where all I did was change the texture that didn't contain extra ages include them in a separate file because I didn't want to add them to the main file and mess anything up. Defaults done by me have them included in the main file.

Nearly every default has extra ages, but a few do not.

The Notes column of the spreadsheet mostly contains notes I wrote for myself regarding the custom versions of hairs I retextured (which will all be uploaded) but some of them do apply to the default too. I'm so brain fried though so I'm leaving it in the sheet. You can generally ignore - or read them if you want!

Defaults are in their own folders, and include a pic of the hair they're replacing and a pic of what they're replaced with...if the kind people on the default database are bored.

I'd never made a default replacement for hair before this so if any of these are not made in the best, most optimal way, apologies. I was learning as I went!

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE reach out if you notice any wonkiness. This was worked on over 3 of the most stressful months of my life so I'd not be surprised if I screwed anything up. Also if I forgot to mention anything in this post that you'd like to know, don't hesitate to ask that too!

👒Moyo's Afterglow Default Project download on Patreon (FREE) or on SimFileShare

I hope you enjoy! 😁

@the-afterglow-archive

[bogleech]

My rpg setting is a little like this but I don't see a lot of other fiction along these lines so what "genre" would you call a world where everything is irreversibly polluted, but that's become the normal and desirable state of things? Like it's not an "apocalyptic wasteland" anymore, and it's not solarpunk where things have become eco-friendly again. A world that's healed around and incorporated the presence of toxic waste, so now people (or whatever new entities supplanted us) actually breathe arsenic and drink mercury shakes and entire biomes depend upon the ongoing presence of plastic fibers. It's a different kind of optimism I think about a lot. I don't trust that we'll fix things in my lifetime but I know our stupidity can't really wipe out 100% of life forever and I wonder which things might dominate a biosphere artificially trashed enough. Like how the conditions created by climate change are giving a big boost to jellyfish even as they wreck things for a lot of other life.

[p1utofairy]

PICK A CARD: BARBIE edition.

★ which one of your manifestations is coming towards you?

NOTE: take what resonates, leave what doesn’t. i feel like people are in need of some positivity and encouragement so here you go! 🍬

pile one.

hi pile 1 🌞 wow i feel like you have a very bright personality! it's so potent and beautiful. you can light up any room you walk into, and once you start seeing your beauty for what it truly is, that's when you'll really become a magnet for the things you desire. i feel like you've come out of some deep situations that left you confused or wondering about your true purpose in this lifetime – but don’t let anyone or any situation ever dim your light or take away your power. your soul purpose is really special and i think you’ve been looking for clarity or some sort of answer/solution to this lack that you’re feeling in your soul. you will definitely receive a message and/or an answer to what you’ve been seeking to find. i see this manifestation being a dream come true, pile 1.

you’ve put the work in and now you’re about to reap the benefits of your labor. this could be a new job, career path/major, business opportunity or an increase in your finances. your spirit guides want you to put yourself out there and say YES to whatever this message might be. you already have the motivation and desire for it, so it just requires you to take action and be confident in your choices in order to receive it. you might downplay yourself a lot or make self-deprecating jokes that ultimately put you in a lack mindset. i’m hearing “psh…yeah right. i doubt something as extravagant and nice as that would happen to me.” but why? whose to say what tomorrow will bring? your guides want you to lean more into your optimism and have faith in yourself, and understand that you truly deserve all the great things that are about to unfold in your life.

you know how to make light of situations, so use that to your advantage. i feel like you have a great sense of humor lol but be kinder to yourself okay? it can be really tough when life starts throwing curve balls at you, but it’s what you choose to make of it. as phil dunphy from ‘modern family’ said, “if life gives you lemonade - make lemons and life will be all like whaaaaat?!” so go out there and show the world what you’re made of!

pile two.

heyyy pile 2! i feel like you're coming out of a period of grief or a loss of some sort – a powerful transformation. i feel like this is more about letting go of a toxic mindset and freeing yourself from negative energy/situations rather than on a physical level. for some of you, a loved one could have recently passed or a connection you had with someone ended but i think it’s more so that you’re in a period of transition and starting to accept things for what they truly are. you’re no longer letting anything or anyone hold you back. you’re gaining momentum in your life path, and your spirit guides are so very proud of you!

they see how much it’s taken you to get to this point in your journey. it’s taken a lot of patience and discipline, but you’ve persevered and made it through - and for that you will be rewarded. i feel like you’ve been trying to manifest a change of some sort…whether that be physically moving out, going on a vacation/traveling, going out more or just a genuine change in your everyday life; i’m happy to say that you will be receiving that! you’ve been slowly but surely focusing on yourself and nourishing your mind, body and soul. you’re now starting to realize that you can accomplish anything you set your mind to…you might be seeing a lot of signs/confirmations like angel numbers, repeating patterns, symbols or animals.

you’re starting to realize that surrender is key - not everything can be in our control and sometimes that’s a tough pill to swallow but that’s just the way of life and it usually works out in our best interest in the long run. a flow of abundance is on its way to you. you can manifest anything you want in this lifetime, it just comes down to your mindset and the power of your words. continue to be at ease and let your actions speak for itself, you don’t have to prove or explain yourself to anyone. you’re on the brink of success and it’s coming in fast, just make sure to always stay grounded and remember where you came from. heavy is the head that wears the crown; you know what you’re capable of and what you deserve so don’t let the pressure and weight of life hold you down. keep moving forward, it’s all going to work out in your favor.

pile three.

pile 333 i just wanna give y'all a hug 🥲 y'all are really going through it right now. heavy water sign energy. do y'all have any pisces, cancer or scorpio in your chart? i get the sense of someone laying in bed…just staring at the ceiling like why? why me? you're trying to process a lot of intense emotions and center your energy, but it's taking a toll on you right now. you feel very alone and and unsure if you can talk to anyone about this. not even trying to be funny, but yeah it's giving existential crisis barbie.

if you've seen the ‘barbie’ movie, you know the scene where barbie just gives up and lays down flat on the ground and they're like "she's not dead. she's just having an existential crisis." 😃 real AF but no no no you gotta quiet down your mind. you can 100% feel and process your way through these emotions, but don't let them take control over you and make you feel like you’re doing something wrong or like you’re not doing enough – release that negative energy! i feel like your mind is going a mile per minute, and you can’t even form a rational thought without getting upset. in terms of your manifestation, i feel like you’re really craving love right now. you’re ready to go out there and bag the person of your dreams, but your guides just want you to first take this time to quiet your mind and trust in them & second believe that love is going to find you no matter what. don’t force it…don’t question it — believe it.

you could’ve had a couple of instances where you thought it was the real thing, but it turned out to be really disappointing and not what you wanted. that’s your spirit guides telling you that you can’t force it. this new relationship will find you naturally and it will be everything you’ve ever dreamed of plus more! this person will not only be your lover, but they’ll be your best friend and your confidant. you will feel absolutely liberated and comfortable to take on any challenge with them by your side. however, you need to let this wave of emotions pass and understand that what’s meant for you will NEVER pass you. you got this my pile 333's 🦋 it will be in reach soon.

[guxciestone]

🔮 ❛ SR JUPITER THROUGH THE HOUSES ༉‧₊˚ ˚୨୧

(solar return chart)

💜✧

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❝ what is your abundance for the year? ❞ ✧ ೃ༄

‎i hope you’re having an amazing day. if you have an post suggestions i’m glad to consider them. enjoy <3

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jupiter in the 1st house

This is an indication that you’ll find abundance and expansion in your outlook, appearance, personality, and how others and life treat you this year. You might notice that your mindset is leaning towards positivity, faith, and optimism this year. It may be easier for you to look on the bright side and for things to go your way. More luck than usual is usually what comes with this placement. This year you’ll feel like you can take on the world. You might want to expand your horizons and try new things, whether that be your social circle, career life, family life, spiritual life, or emotional life. During this time you’ll notice that you don't take things as seriously. It can be easier for you to recover from setbacks. On the other hand, be careful about overindulgence because this placement is notorious for allowing you to gain weight easily or become lazy and arrogant.

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jupiter in the 2nd house

This shows that you’ll find abundance and expansion in your finances, material possessions, and skills. It is possible that you might land a new job opportunity or discover an incredible source of income for yourself. Perhaps you experience some type of financial windfall. You might suddenly gain more physical items as well such as a new house, a new car, or or new clothes. This placement is useful for when you want to build on your skills or abilities to land your desired career because it is easier for you to do so. For example: If you want to get a job as a chef, this is the perfect year to enroll in culinary arts classes and practice. However, be careful with how you handle your possessions this year because it could easily fluctuate and you could become impulsive with your spending habits. Do not overspend or buy things that are unnecessary.

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jupiter in the 3rd house

This year is the year in which you find abundance and expansion in your mind, learning processes, communication, and peers. You’ll see that this year you’ll feel a strong need to expand your mind and learn things. Perhaps you’ll begin to read more books, study harder in school/college, enroll in a class, or watch more informational videos in your freetime. If you are in school, your grades may be significantly better than usual and there’s luck in your academic opportunities too. There is a possibility that you seem to be more extroverted and desire to be more social this year. You are charming and more witty, perhaps making friends through your peers. You could expect yourself to want more reflective and thoughtful talks with people this year. You might also be capable of handling more tasks than usual. You are able to be busier in your daily life because you mostly have a lot to do. However, it is almost impossible to get to know everything at once. It is important to slow down this year, and don’t overwhelm yourself with tasks.

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jupiter in the 4th house

This is an indication that you’ll find abundance and expansion in your family, home life, and sense of security. It is possible that your family life is relatively happier, brighter, and more stable. There could be increased peace in the home as well. It could be that most family troubles are going away significantly. There could be something expanding your family life as well–perhaps a new baby, new money, or even a new home or home renovation. There could even be small changes in the home such as making a new flower garden, painting the walls of your room, and much more. For the older individuals, perhaps you are considering retirement to where you can finally enjoy the fruits of your labor.

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jupiter in the 5th house

This shows that you’ll find abundance and expansion in your joys, self-expression, and casual relationships. It is possible that you could be trying new hobbies and aspirations, expanding your personal interests to learn more about things. This placement also calls for you to enjoy yourself more often. Perhaps you are going out to parties more, spending time with friends, having more crushes, or engaging in casual relationships. You could also notice that you are yearning to show yourself more, taking yourself out of your comfort zone and trying new versions of expression. It could be that you might get a new tattoo, a new style, or try different people than what you are used to. This placement is useful for you if you want to win the lottery within the year. This placement is also great for when you want to win the lottery.

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jupiter in the 6th house

This year is the year you’ll find abundance and expansion in your daily life, health, work, and routine. This is a time where you probably want something more out of your day-to-day habits, perhaps you strive to become more busy and fill up your to-go list during this time. You could be busier this year, especially at your work. Perhaps you are working more often and get recognized at your job for your hard work. It is also the case that you could even start an exercising regime, schedule more meetups with peers, or eat more exciting foods. On the other hand, it is important to be careful about overindulgence and laziness in your routine. There could be overeating involved and weight gain is more possible.

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jupiter in the 7th house

This is an indication that you’ll find abundance and expansion in your interpersonal relationships, your environment, and others. This placement is victorious for bringing in a new relationship or even a proposal if you are in a long-term relationship. If you are already married, the benefits of being with your spouse will show this year. You’ll notice that in general all of your relationships with others will improve. You are getting along with others and others are getting along with you. You may even meet significantly more new people this year. There is a possibility that you are more social, charming, talkative, and extroverted too. If there are any business partnerships or alliances, you’ll see that you’ll reap the success of it when you cooperate with them.

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jupiter in the 8th house

This shows that you’ll find abundance and expansion in other people’s possessions. During this year, it is possible that you’ll receive a gift from someone at some point. This could be an inheritance, monetary settlement, or even something you begin to own after a divorce–such as a house, car, kids, or even huge sums of money. If you receive huge amounts of cash this year, make sure to manage it successfully by hiring a financial manager or putting all of the money into an account. This placement is also known for when you are making huge purchases such as buying an estate. Your intimate relationships are also more apparent this year, especially towards your spouse or loved ones.

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jupiter in the 9th house

There is a strong need to search and expand on a higher understanding of the divine this year. Perhaps you are stepping into a new religion, learning about new religions, becoming a meditator, or getting more in touch with your higher self or spirit guides this year. You’ll find that you also desire peace and sanctuary more too. This is one of the perfect placements for when you need guidance and messages from your guides because you are more than willing to connect with them. There is also the possibility that you are willing to learn much more in general. You might engage in learning new things on your own. Perhaps you found new academic opportunities such as joining a college or enrolling in a new class. You could feel the urge to travel as well.

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jupiter in the 10th house

This year is the year you’ll find abundance and expansion in your reputation, image, and career life. It is notable that you’ll more likely find better career opportunities within the year. Perhaps you get a job promotion and land a new job with better payments. You could have a chance to expand your career as well. If you own a business, you are more than able to expand your business success and popularity. In regards to your reputation, your image is in luck because you’ll notice that you are more popular and this could help with any venture you are pursuing. This placement is great for fame in extreme cases.

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Jupiter in the 11th house

This is an indication that you’ll find abundance and expansion in your goals, friendships, and dreams. It is possible that you have more prominent goals than usual and you will benefit from these goals directly. There’s an opportunity to go after this goal only after a significant sacrifice in an area of the individual’s life. There is a possibility you will have to fight for what you want, but since luck is on your side in this area, it’ll be much easier and worth it. You’ll also find that your social life is more apparent. You might gain new friends or your friend group is more stable and tranquil right now.

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Jupiter in the 12th house

This shows that you’ll find abundance and expansion in your spiritual self, unconscious, and hidden parts of yourself. This placement indicates that the universe will most likely have your back entirely this year. You’ll feel more connected with your higher self and your spirit guides. Your shadow work journey, discovering ignored parts of yourself, self-discovery journey could be significantly easier to go through and deal with since the universe can give you more apparent messages during this year. At the same time, you are more willing to dive into those parts of yourself even without the help. Self-isolation for concentration for oneself is common.

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[level2janitor]

Introduction to the OSR

what's an OSR? it's a game that's kinda like old-school D&D. or is old-school D&D. or is compatible with old-school D&D. an OSR game generally has some or all of the following principles:

low character power with highly lethal combat. in old-school D&D a 1st-level fighter has d8 hit points and a longsword does d8 damage, and you die at 0HP. this is not to ensure characters die all the time but to emphasize the next bullet point:

emphasis on creative problem solving. most situations cannot be solved by straightforward use of your abilities (such as charging into every situation with swords drawn, if a fighter), so the game tests lateral, outside-the-box thinking.

emphasis on diegetic progression. spells are found, not obtained automatically on level-up. you get XP by finding gold more than killing monsters. most of your cool abilities come from magic items. making alliances & hiring followers is encouraged.

focus on managing inventory, resources, risk, and time. the players are constantly faced with meaningful decisions; this is the heart of the game.

very sandbox-oriented. the focus on creative problem solving means the game must be accommodating to players taking a course of action the GM didn't plan for. use lots of random tables to generate emergent story. some elements of new simulationism.

high tactical transparency, i.e., the optimal course of action is rarely system-specific, and ideally very possible for a new player to intuit.

usually semi-compatible with old D&D, but not always. usually rules-lite, but not always.

what does the OSR mostly NOT do?

focus on character builds. these change the focus too much to be on the rules than the fiction, can create situations where stuff everyone should be able to do is an ability locked to one class, and impede tactical transparency.

resolve everything with a die roll. combat uses dice to be scary, unpredictable and most importantly not your default course of action. everything else should bring up dice rarely - dice are your plan B when your plan A fails. the best plans need no dice.

use linear storytelling or put players into a writer/GM role. linear storytelling gets in the way of the decision-making so core to the playstyle; letting players write details into the setting is mutually exclusive with them discovering it.

rules for everything. 400 pages of crunch is worse at simulating a believable world than the GM and players' shared understanding. OSR games rely constantly on GM ruling.

mostly still applies to all the above. making your system a "pure" OSR game comes second to doing what's best for your game.

System recommendations

old D&D or a retroclone

old-school D&D - or old school essentials or basic fantasy or swords & wizardry, which are old D&D's mechanics repackaged with quality-of-life tweaks (and the upside of not giving WOTC your money) - are usually the go-to when recommending someone's first OSR game. they're actually not my first pick, though!

PROS:

very complete, with more robust rules than a lot of the lighter games on this list.

100% compatibility: most OSR adventures are statted for old school essentials. converting them to other OSR systems is usually simple, but not 1-for-1.

easier to find games for. anyone interested in the OSR space knows what old school essentials is.

CONS:

jank. these games largely still have weird saves, level limits for non-humans, some still have descending AC, etc etc. it's not that bad but it is there

i hate thief skills. lots of essential dungeoneering actions are locked to the thief class as abilities, with abysmally low success chances. this is stuff i prefer being handled without a roll. thieves in this system suck and make everyone else worse at dungeon crawling by existing.

there's just lots of really cool shit in other systems i'm about to go into that you just don't get here

Knave 1e and its various hacks

this is a 7-page super-lightweight system that boils everything down to just the essentials.

rolling a character takes like 5 minutes. roll stats, roll gear, roll traits, go. done. it's great.

characters are defined entirely by stats and gear, no classes. wanna be a fighter, have high strength and carry a big sword and armor. wanna be a wizard, have high intelligence and fill your inventory with spells. item slots are elegant and pretty limited.

initiative is instant: roll d6. 1-3, monsters go first. 4-6, PCs go first. swingy, but god it is so smooth and shaves like the most boring 5 minutes off of every combat

monsters are so very elegant. old D&D gives monsters a "hit dice" rating to determine their HP, e.g. a 3HD monster rolls 3d8 for hit points. knave takes this number (HD) and uses it for attack rolls and saves (aside from exceptionally bad/good saves), so a knave statblock looks something like this.

spells are all one or two sentences long & extremely easy to remember.

7 pages is so light. i have the system basically memorized.

DOWNSIDES: there's no dungeon crawling rules (standard for meatier OSR games & something i consider essential) and no real bestiary, though the second point isn't a huge deal cause they're so easy to make. it also kinda assumes you already know how to run OSR games, so there's very little real advice or guidance.

KNAVE HACKS

knave 1e is in creative commons & comes with an editable word doc for you to publish with modifications, so there's a ton of variants (there was a spreadsheet of them somewhere, but i can't find it).

Grave is a favorite - i'm two years into a grave campaign and it's fantastic. it's a dark-souls-y version of knave with some really elegant innovations.

you have a set number of deaths before you for-reals die, as every character plays an undead as is dark souls tradition. makes it good for OSR beginners! being able to tell when you're close to your final death is really good - it lets you emotionally prepare for losing your character & raises the stakes more the more you die. (though honestly you should probably cut the number of extra deaths in half, it's super generous)

XP and gold are combined into one resource, souls. legendary creatures drop big souls you can make into magic items. this has ended up being the coolest thing in my current campaign. my players love finding powerful souls to make into magic items it's so fun

uses preset packages of stats/gear instead of knave's rolled ones, filling the role of more traditional character classes. has the wonderful side effect of not making you get stuck with low stats cause you rolled bad one time.

you have stamina equal to your empty item slots. you spend stamina on spells if you're a caster, or free maneuvers (on top of your attack at no action cost) if you're not. it's super elegant.

there's 3 classes of spells: wizardry for intelligence, holy magic for wisdom, and witch stuff for charisma. nice and intuitive.

there's a page of 50 magic items each a couple sentences long. this PDF is worth it just for the magic items.

DOWNSIDE: see the downsides for knave 1e. all still apply.

i enjoyed grave so much i made a variant of it with the dark souls bits removed (and some dungeon crawl rules added!) to use for my standard fantasy campaigns.

Knave 2e

sadly knave 2e is not purchasable yet (i backed it on kickstarter so i have access, though). but when it comes out i highly recommend it.

much larger and denser than knave 1e. it finally has dungeon crawling rules, it has GM and player guidance, everything is refined and the layout is so so nice and readable.

combat is a bit more interesting than 1e. you can break your weapon against an enemy to deal max damage. you get a free maneuver on high attack rolls.

there's rules for stuff like alchemy, warfare, building a base. it all kicks ass.

there are so many goddamn tables. i rifle through it anytime i need inspiration.

DOWNSIDES: some of the new rules are a little untested & wonky. introducing randomness into how often your rations spoil or your lights go out can cause issues.

Mausritter

you play tiny little mice! in a world full of big dangerous things that want to eat mice. cat = dragon. you get it. what more could you want

the mouse thing is just super intuitive. you get the dynamic between you and the big scary lethal world. fantastic OSR game to introduce kids

nice and robust ruleset; nothing feels missing

tons of super nice GM stuff! faction rules, tools for rolling up hexcrawls and dungeons, plenty of tables

super clean readable layout. font isn't too small to avoid being intimidating. guidance is really nice and clear.

combat is autohit. super fast & lethal.

100% free

look mausritter is just. good. i wanna run it so bad someday

Worlds Without Number

sort of a middle ground between OSR stuff and 5e. paid version here free version here

lots of classes, at least in the paid version. the free version comes with just the warrior, expert and mage. there's feats and more of a focus on builds than most OSR games. if you like more mechanical build variety than a typical OSR game, this is a great game for you!

extremely good multiclassing. y'know how in most games if you just mash together two classes you think are cool you'll end up with a total mess? not here! every combo is viable and works fine! easily the best multiclassing of any game i've touched

an absurd amount of GM stuff and tables. easily more than any of the other stuff i've praised for also having them. but personally i haven't dug into them as much, so i can't really comment on them

skills the way modern D&D has them. you roll dice and try to beat a target number. i don't tend to like rolled skills, but most people do, so if that's your thing WWN has them

DOWNSIDES

the layout is terrible. everything is a huge wall of text with very little use of bold text or bullet points to draw attention to the important bits. the table of contents has like 15 things in it for a 400-page book! i couldn't find any of the paid-version-exclusive classes for like a month after i bought it! looking up rules is a nightmare.

the way the default setting handles "evil races" is like an exaggerated parody of all the problematic aspects of how D&D handles it. like, it wants so bad for you to have an excuse to genocide sentient free-willed people. but at least the default setting is easy to chuck in the trash

Dungeon Crawl Classics

the goal of this system is to take all of the crazy gonzo moments people remember playing old-school D&D in their childhood and turn all of that up to 11 while cutting the stuff that doesn't add to that. i think a lot of its innovations have ended up kind of standard in newer OSR stuff (like fighters getting maneuvers with their attacks), but it still has more to offer.

the funnel: you start the game with four randomly rolled dipshit peasants that you then throw into a meatgrinder to get horribly killed. you pick one of the survivors to be your 1st-level character.

maneuvers: fighters roll an extra die with each attack that gets bigger as you level. if it's a 3 or higher, you get to do a cool thing on top of your attack. pretty standard for OSR games, but this game popularized it!

crit tables: fighters also get more crits and nastier crits as they level. every crit, you roll on the crit table. maybe you chop off a dude's arm. maybe you just knock them over. maybe you shatter their shield. it's very cool

spell tables: i don't really like roll-to-cast mechanics, generally. but DCC goes so all-in on roll-to-cast that it still looks fun as hell to watch. you cast a fireball and maybe it goes how you want. or maybe you explode, or you nuke everything in a half-mile radius, or from now on you permanently ignite flammable materials you touch, or whatever. casters just have to put up with turning into a weird mutated mess across a campaign

there's no dungeon crawl rules, no encumbrance - this game is all about the big over-the-top wacky shit, and is not really interested in the more down-to-earth number crunching. it's more in the you-die-hilariously-all-the-time area of OSR than the you-avoid-death-through-clever-play area. not really my thing but the system knows exactly what it wants to be and i respect it

iron halberd

this one is mine! as the author i'm not qualified to tell you what isn't good about my system, so just assume it's worse than i make it sound, but here's a bunch of the selling points

semi-random character creation where you flip back and forth between rolling dice and getting your own input. roll stats, pick ancestry. pick starting gear kit, roll different dice based on which kit you picked. etc etc. stats are random but all equally viable (no rolling incredibly low or high stats). every time i run this game the character creation is a hit. seriously go roll up a character it'll sell you on the whole thing

you start out a lot stronger than a standard OSR character but grow way more slowly. i don't like 4th-level characters being 4 times as strong as 1st-level ones; HP never gets that high. emphasis is more on diegetic progression instead.

way too many subsystems for alchemy, crafting, strongholds, warfare, renown, rituals, likes 9 pages of magic items, a whole subsystem for becoming a cleric mid-campaign. i couldn't help myself i love this shit

in my current campaign we had a player permanently sacrifice some max HP to become a necromancer after deliberating on whether that's a good idea for like thirty seconds, which instantly made me think my necromancy system is a success

also free

Adventure recommendations

(in rough order of size)

Moonhill Garden (by Emiel Boven): look at this. look at it! this is like the best template for a little dungeon in an OSR game. all of the little factions are tied together. this would be a great oneshot to introduce people to an OSR system with.

A gathering of blades (by Ben Milton): a system-neutral, one-page sandbox. i ran this for an iron halberd game and it went super well. lasted like 7 sessions. highly recommend.

The Waking of Willowby Hall (by Ben Milton): a single dungeon with a million things going on. it's super chaotic with half a dozen different factions crashing into each other and a big angry goose. highly recommend, especially for kids

The Black Wyrm of Brandonsford (by Chance Dudinack): small sandbox with a fun fairytale vibe and a very fleshed-out little town. and a big nasty dragon.

Evils of Illmire (by Zack Wolf): this is a very dense, entire campaign's worth of hexcrawl in a very compact package for like $5. it doesn't do anything particularly new, but the value-for-money is absurd and it's a really good template for how to do a sandbox if you're used to 5e adventures

Ask me anything!

if anything here is unclear or intrigues you, send me asks! i love helping people get into OSR games. i'll link frequently asked questions here if i get any.

[kumquatran]

i get that the majority of people who know batman know him from movies and therefore understand him as the violent justice character and assign values to the trinity as such. clark is hope, bruce is justice, diana is truth. but these are really wrong to me because it implies that bruce saves gotham via fear and pessimism alone.

he definitely terrifies the fuck out of gothamites, but that’s not all? the batsymbol also represents hope, the same way the S does.

the people of gotham have hope in batman. that his existence proves their city can get better, that they have someone to keep them safe. batman is hope to bruce, born out of an optimism that with the sacrifice of the rest of his life, he can truly make a difference in gotham. it gives gotham a second chance, a chance to get better.

it’s why the batsymbol means so much to cass, because like bruce, she believes in second chances. she got her own second chance, and she has hope that it’ll change the city.

it’s why jason wears the symbol as a mockery, because he doesn’t believe anymore. he’s been disillusioned with the idea that anyone deserves a second chance, which is why he’s willing to kill.

it’s why the criminal lords hate him, because he gives hope to the people they’re trying to take that hope away from. he disproves joker’s one bad day theory, because he had a lot of terrible fucking days and has seen the very worst of gotham and still manages to stick with his city.

saying that batman is pessimistic and born only to punish the guilty is such a diminishment of what the batsymbol means to gothamites, including bruce and his allies. and maybe nobody outside of gotham will ever get what the batsymbol means to them. nobody will understand that in the worst city in the world, they have a man willing to stick by them and sacrifice his everything just to save them.

[just-a-ghost00]

What is next in your career?

Group 1

Cards : The Universe, Lovers, Tower, 3 of pentacles, ace of cups, 10 of swords, Magician

Songs : Lying from you - Linkin Park, Under the skin - &TEAM

This spread gives me resentment energy but also acceptance that not everything can be controlled. Maybe some of you were unfairly treated in the past but you have now come to the conclusion that you could not change the perception of the people around you or the circumstances you were evolving in. There were bigger things that were at play and you did the best you could with what you had. I see you trying to get back on track, working your ass off to create a future that you can be proud of, because as much as you are faced with obstacles you can't help but to love what you're doing. The challenges won't stop you from wanting to reach that goal, to manifest what you envision and succeed. I get a feeling that in the past you were trying to fit other people's expectations or views of what you should and should not do. But you are tired of being someone that you're not. I see you chosing yourself and changing the perception of others by incarnating a version of you that feels closer to your truth. There's a rebellion brewing. Your inner beliefs are cleansed when it comes to your career. You are redefining your ambitions, the way you portray yourself, the way you approach your work and connections. I see that a romantic connection will be at the origin of such upheaval. You will transmute energies of anxiety, depression, overthinking to let in more joy and optimism. You are rising from the ashes and resuming the battle. A new breath is given to you. With the Universe card, there could be travels involved in the upcoming future. But also you will be getting inspiration and help from people all over the world. I feel like you will be rediscovering your purpose in life. So for some of you, this could mean getting a new job that is different from what you initially aimed for. For others, it could be a change of environment or a change of responsibilities. It could be as simple as having a different timetable. It doesn't have to be a gigantic reset of everything you know for it to feel like you are taking a new start. Regardless of what is changing in your career, there is still that sense of fresh air, of getting the tables turned and taking control over your course. If in the past, you went with the flow and let others leads you I feel like from now on you will take a more proactive approach and decide for yourself.

Group 2

Cards : King of cups, Queen of pentacles, 9 of cups rx, 7 of swords, knight of swords, knight of pentacles, Get curious

Songs : Psycho - Halestorm, Dumb & Dumber - iKON

I'm getting a lot of frustration and anger from this group but also a lot of sarcasm. This feels a bit similar to group 1 but here I feel like the changes in your life will be more drastic. I feel revenge energy, like wanting to prove people wrong and possibly get karma to bite their ass. For instance, I see people unexpectedly quitting their job at an inopportune time for their boss. People starting legal procedures to get reparation for the wrong that was caused to them. I see illusions being shattered. Masks falling off. You will see people for who they are but you will also show your true face. You will stop pretending to be happy about your work when you're not, to appreciate someone that you in truth can't stand just because they helped you once or they have an important position. You will stop confiding into people, keep a lot of information to yourself and only act when it is truly necessary. I feel like you will be in a more defensive mode from now on and act strategically. You're at war. A lot of you are invited to get curious and look out for other opportunities. I feel like you will potentially be entertaining other job offers. Like you will be doing other activities to get revenue that you won't speak of, as a security measure. If you intend to resign, you will keep that information hidden until the very last minute. I feel an energy of "if they're not going to help me, I won't be helping either ; an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth". There will be a period of transition where you are somehow stuck in an environment that you don't particularly appreciate before you can move on to something better. This reading is very short and to the point compared to the other groups. And I feel like it's because the energies will be a bit stagnant for a while.

Group 3

Cards : Ascension, knight of wands, 10 of cups, Empress, queen of cups, knight of pentacles, queen of wands

Songs : Headbanger - BABYMETAL, Ratatata - BABYMETAL ft Electric Callboy

I get a very positive energy from this group. You might have gotten a raise/promotion lately. If not, then this is on the way. You're in an energy of wanting to be better and impress people, finding a space and a team that matches your crazy and your ambition, feeling satisfied with where you're at but at the same time wanting for more. Group 3 you're in a rocket aiming for the stars and I see you climbing the ladder in an impressive short period of time. Not only will you feel at ease in your career, but you will also feel supported and taken seriously. I see you being in full control of your journey, very efficient and productive, grounded in your position whatever it may be. You could be attracting more partnerships that are going to help you progress in your career. Especially I see a very encouraging and positive team cheering you up and celebrating your successes, standing for you in times of trials and really valuating your input. In this setting, you are the Empress. People around you will make you feel really good about yourself because you are empowering others. It's like your efforts are finally being recognized and paying off because the energy you are emmitting is very enlightening and nurturing for others. Especially if you are working in healthcare, education or advertizing for equity and love. For instance, I'm picturing people spreading messages of body positivity and trying to change people's conceptions of fashion and health. These people who might have been criticized before will be now getting more support and audience reacting positively to their content. If you were advocating for ASD, neurodivergency, ADHD and so on, for example, I see people being more accepting of the idea that there are people who experience life differently and need to be taken into consideration.

[charmedreincarnation]

Hey, guys! I've been receiving a ton of messages in response to my last post. It's reminding me of how I first discovered shifting. I feel like doing a little story time since Ive just passed the three-year mark of my discovery, and I've been reminiscing with friends about it.

I remember being in a very dark place when I stumbled upon shifting. I was depressed, and very suicidal. Yet, there was this unshakeable optimism inside me that I was meant for an extraordinary life. Despite my mental state, I had a lot of knowledge of subliminals and the law of attraction (-_-). These gave me hope, but they weren't enough tbh. I didn't want to attract my dream life through practicing gratitude or becoming a magnet for my desires or whatever. Nor did I want to have to listen to subliminals for years on end to achieve my goals. My list of desires was so long, and I needed everything to change that going step by step and waiting years for each one to manifest just wasn't feasible.

But I refused to give up. One day, after a particularly hard day of being sad per usual, I searched on Quora for something like "fastest most powerful subliminals on YouTube ever" (Y’all 😭😭). Among the recommended sub creators, I found a video called "Desired Life: Reality Shifting". The description promised everything I had ever wanted: waking up with all your desires fulfilled permanently in short. It piqued my curiosity so much. Could I really just wake up with my dream life, family, house, wealth, all based on my scripts and imagination?

Growing up, I was a heavy maladaptive daydreamer. From ages 10-17, I created alternate lives in my head, telling myself I would go there someday. I was always doing SATs (State Akin to Sleep), and I think that's what kept me from ending it all. I was constantly in the wish fulfilled state, even though I didn't know what that was at the time.

Back to my story, I went into the comments of that video and came across a guy who claimed that after a week of using this subliminal, he woke up with a new life as a multi-millionaire living in his dream penthouse. I messaged him, and he gave me his Instagram which showcased his luxurious life. He had what seemed like a perfect relationship, he was very attractive, had so many cars, and travelled 24/7 while having a six figures amount of followers. He was living proof that this wasn't just scripting. Also the law of attraction community is known for their mad expensive coaching.. like hundreds of dollars per hour for questions and he was answering it all for free something I didn’t see the law of attraction community. And I talked to him for hours! He never got mad, he had proof, and he was kind, proof and the behavior of someone who really had mastered the art of life.

After our conversation, I spent the next couple of months doing research. I found numerous stories about glitches in the matrix, accidental shifting, people entering parallel realities, and eventually, shifting communities on platforms like Amino and Reddit. It was stuff I already believed in and did in my imagination; I just didn’t know there was a term for it.

Then I got reminded of a memory that I had seriously repressed bc it was so fucking weird. When I was 6 and my brother was 3, we were absolutely obsessed with dodo birds. One day, we were outside playing, and on god time seemed to stop. Out of nowhere, a dodo bird appeared. I know you’re probably like “maya be so fr rn you were a kid” but no, This wasn't just our young imaginations running wild - there was a bird that was huge, dinosaur-like, exactly how dodos are described in books and pictures we had.

Then things got weirder. Suddenly it started raining eggs. Big, large eggs everywhere it was so gross and my brother and I were a mess. We were young, sure, but not stupid. We knew this wasn't normal. My brother and I rushed inside to tell our dad. When I managed to drag him outside, he was furious, accusing me of throwing eggs everywhere. To this day, he tells the story of the time I "trashed the backyard with eggs." And every time, I'm like, "Dad, where would I get that many eggs?" We didn’t have eggs but so he assumed I stole them and we went inside for hours and it was magically cleaned. So he also tells the story of how responsible I am and how I took accountability for my actions even as a child. I didn’t clean that shit bro and I tell him that too and he just laughs it makes me so mad.

My brother, who knows I'm into reality shifting (though he doesn’t really believe in it), can't explain that day either. He often shrugs it off as a "glitch in the matrix," which honestly, well no duh it is a shift dummie. He does believe in manifesting but only bc he has seen me use it and he experiences the good things I manifest as well. They’re the same thing anyways but that isn’t the point

The reason I'm bringing up this bizarre childhood memory is because during my months of research into shifting, I found countless stories of accidental shifts, people entering the void, entering parallel universes, time glitches, examples of the Mandela effect first hand, glitches in the matrix and etc. It was like uncovering a myriad of experiences that confirmed what I already believed: we can change and choose our reality. I just didn’t know the phenomena had a name. Obviously in the future I came across other things like the law of assumption, the void state, etc etc but this was where it started.

I wish I had saved all those fascinating stories, posts, and blogs. I might go back and compile everything I found because they were so real and enlightening. It will probably take forever tho if I do choose to do that, but I think it's worth sharing.

In the meantime, check out this accounts of accidental shifts that my friend shared with me this account https://instagram.com/tessicavision?igshid=OGQ5ZDc2ODk2ZA== based off the Glitch in the Matrix subreddit which is also a goldmine of people experiencing similar phenomena. It helped me make sense of my own experiences and might do the same for you.

I don’t want this to be too long and I already got to the point I think! but regardless stay curious and realize you’re really not that special. I mean ofc you are, i mean this is not some tumblr thing teens girls discovered or created and isn’t even limited to “spiritually/manifesting inclined people” I think at the beginning of my journey people talking about accidental shifts and such, inspired me more than purposeful success stories because they really have no reason to lie and they were looking for answers just like I was.

[nhlclover]

CHRISTMAS TREE FARM KIRBY DACH

— event masterlist !

pairing: fem!reader x kirby dach

summary: yours and kirby's first christmas in your new house kicks off as you search for the perfect tree

warnings: nothing!

wc: 1.69k

notes: fic number four in my 12 days of xmas event! this is a cute idea in theory but i have heard one too many horror stories about spiders in trees to never get a real tree

Your first Christmas in your shared place with Kirby meant the changing of traditions.

For years, your four-foot-tall synthetic pine tree was the perfect centrepiece for your tiny apartment during the holidays. It fit perfectly in the corner of your living room, decorated in string lights and tiny baubles when the season came around.

But now, everything has changed. Your new home — a proper house, with more rooms and higher ceilings — called for something grander. The diminutive tree, once perfect, suddenly felt out of place in your freshly upgraded surroundings. It was time for a full-sized tree, one that matched the new chapter of your life.

Kirby, however, had other ideas. Firmly attached to childhood memories of fresh pine scent, he insisted on a real tree this year. His excitement was contagious, and soon, the two of you were bundled up and driving an hour outside Montreal to a picturesque Christmas tree farm.

The crisp December air bit at your cheeks as you and Kirby stepped out of the car, boots crunching on a patchwork of frost and dirt. Before you stretched a sea of evergreens - rows upon rows of firs, spruces, and pines, their limbs sagging under a heavy blanket of snow. The air was thick with the smell of pine and earth, mingling with the faint echo of distant voices and the whir of a chainsaw. This was not the bustling lot of pre-cut trees you'd frequented in the past, but a proper Christmas tree farm, sprawling and timeless, as if untouched by the haste of modernity.

Kirby, bundled in a black parka and a knit hat that sat slightly askew, surveyed the scene before him. “Alright,” he murmured, his breath curling in the cold air like smoke. “It’s out there somewhere. The perfect tree.”

You smiled, tucking your gloved hands into your coat pockets for warmth. “Just so long as it doesn’t take all day. My fingers are already frozen.”

Kirby grinned, his eyes alight with boyish enthusiasm. He hoisted the chainsaw out of the back of his car and started toward the nearest row of evergreens. “C’mon! It’ll be fun!”

The two of you meandered into the forest of trees, saw in hand, ready to claim a piece of this natural expanse for your living room. The first tree you approached was stately, its branches dense and green, with a satisfying triangular shape. You turned to Kirby with a hopeful look, but he tilted his head, squinting as if trying to solve a riddle. He circled the tree slowly, running a gloved hand along the needles.

“Hmm,” he murmured. “The back side has a bare patch.”

“It’s going to be against the wall,” you pointed out, already feeling a chill crawl up your legs.

Kirby shook his head, resolute. “We’ll keep looking.”

And so, the journey continued. Tree after tree presented itself as a potential candidate, only to fall short of Kirby’s exacting standards. Too sparse. Too lopsided. Too short. Too tall. The phrase just ‘pick one already’ hovered on the tip of your tongue, biting back the urge to utter it aloud as you trudged through the snow.

“Kirby, my fingers are about to snap off,” you finally said, rubbing your mitten-covered hands together for emphasis. “Can’t we compromise? Like, just a little?”

“We’ve only seen half the lot,” he replied, undeterred. “Trust me, the perfect one is out there.”

You sighed, casting a glance back toward the farm entrance where cheerful families bustled about, loading their chosen trees onto trailers. Kirby’s optimism was beginning to grate against your growing fatigue. You had dressed for the weather, accommodating the recent winter chill that had settled over Quebec, but the cold had seeped past your thermal socks and three layers of clothing.

At last, when you were two seconds away from abandoning your boyfriend in the snow, you found it — a towering Fraser fir, its branches full and evenly spaced, tapering upward in a perfect, natural silhouette. The deep, lustrous green of its needles seemed to absorb the fading light. Kirby circled the tree, his expression shifting from skeptical to satisfied, his gloved fingers brushing the branches as if to confirm its solidity. “This is it,” he declared, a triumphant smile breaking across his face.

You wanted to roll your eyes but instead let out a relieved laugh. “Great. Let’s cut it down before I freeze solid.”

Kirby started up the chainsaw, the sound of the engine roaring to life shattering the tranquil quiet of the farm. Kirby knelt in the snow, the chainsaw grumbling as he carefully angled it toward the base of the tree. The blade bit into the wood with a satisfying growl, and the tree began to teeter.

“Watch out!” Kirby called, grinning ear to ear. The tree groaned softly before yielding with a final crack, the weight of it falling into the bed of snow below.

Within a couple of minutes, workers — bundled in plaid jackets and exuding a practiced efficiency — arrived on a four-wheeler, securing your tree to the attached trailer and saying they’d meet you at the front of the lot.

By the time you and Kirby reached the front of the lot, the fading sunlight had stained the sky a dusky lavender. The towering Fraser fir sat waiting for you, propped majestically against a rustic wooden fence. Beside it, a cheerful teenager with flushed cheeks and a red woolen scarf waved enthusiastically as you approached.

As the tree was whisked away, Kirby dusted the snow off his knees, a victorious gleam in his eyes. “See?” he said, pointing dramatically after the departing four-wheeler. “The perfect tree was worth the search.”

You arched an eyebrow, pulling your scarf up over your nose to shield yourself from the persistent wind. “I think I lost feeling in my feet somewhere around tree number twenty-three. But sure, let's call it worth it.”

Kirby chuckled, brushing a light dusting of snow from your shoulder. “Come on, Scrooge. Let’s get to the front before you turn into a popsicle.”

The two of you began the trek back toward the lot entrance, Kirby glancing at trees as you passed. He nearly stopped by one, a full Balsam fir, but you yanked him away. The snow crunched beneath your boots, muffling your footsteps, and your breath curled in little white clouds between bouts of conversation.

“By the way,” you said, glancing sideways at him, “what’s the plan if this thing doesn’t actually fit in the living room?”

“Oh, it’ll fit,” he replied confidently.

“And if it doesn’t?”

Kirby shot you a playful grin. “Then we’ll just have to expand the living room.”

You laughed, the sound of it rising into the frosty air. “Great, I'll call the contractor. 'Hi, we'd like to add a wing to our house because my boyfriend couldn’t settle for a smaller tree.' That’s totally normal, right?”

He smirked, nudging you with his shoulder. “Admit it. You’re going to love it once it’s all lit up with the smell of fresh pine in the air. It'll make your little plastic tree look like a coat rack.”

You gasped, feigning insult. “That ‘coat rack’ served me loyally for years! It deserved a proper retirement, not slander.”

“Well,” he said, slinging an arm over your shoulders, “let's honor its service by making this Christmas the best one yet.”

The lot entrance came into view, marked by a small cabin strung with twinkling lights and wreaths. Workers were already waiting with your tree, neatly bundled and ready for loading. Kirby picked up the pace, his excitement ramping up again as he took in the scene.

Approaching your car, you surveyed the logistics of attaching the tree to the roof. Kirby grabbed the first end of the rope from a cheerful worker and gave it a determined tug. “Alright, teamwork time.”

“Teamwork?” you echoed skeptically. “You’re the one who chose a tree big enough to double as a communications tower. I think this is a you problem.”

“Correction,” Kirby said, hauling the tree into position with exaggerated effort, “it’s an us problem. Now grab the other side and help me tie this bad boy down.”

Reluctantly, you took your position on the other side of the car. The two of you maneuvered the tree onto the roof with no small amount of effort, grunting and laughing as branches poked and prodded at every exposed surface.

“Stop letting it slide toward me!” you scolded, trying to wrangle the base into position.

“I’m not letting it slide,” Kirby retorted, laughing as he reached over to steady it. “You’re just losing your grip!”

“My grip is fine. Your aim is questionable,” you shot back, attempting to keep your balance as you stood on the edge of the car.

Finally, after several rounds of repositioning, looping rope, and a near-miss with the antenna, the tree was secured. Kirby gave the rope one last triumphant tug and stepped back, hands on his hips as he admired the handiwork. “Perfect,” he declared.

You circled the car, inspecting the knots. “Perfectly ridiculous,” you muttered, though a smile tugged at your lips. “Are we sure this thing isn’t going to take flight on the highway?”

“It’s not going anywhere,” Kirby assured you. Then, as if to test his theory, he gave the tree a hearty shake. It barely budged. “See? Solid.”

“Great,” you said, brushing the pine needles off your coat. “Now let’s get home before I get frostbite.”

Kirby held the car door open for you with a mock bow. “Your chariot awaits, oh cold and cranky one.”

You rolled your eyes, but the corners of your mouth twitched upward. “If this tree doesn’t turn out to be magical, I’m holding you personally responsible.”

“Oh, it’s magical, alright,” he said, slipping into the driver’s seat and firing up the engine. “Just wait until you see it all dressed up. It’s going to be the best Christmas ever.”

As the car rumbled to life and pulled onto the snowy road, you stole a glance at the massive tree on the roof. For all the grumbling, the aching fingers, and the biting cold, you had to admit — Kirby might just be right.

[unlikelypandahologram]

Reasons to ship every single version of MegOP

since Very Dumb Discourse™ exists about whether or not certain versions of this ship are valid, this is going to be THE most positive post about all versions of MegOP. refer back to this post for reasons to ship your favorite version of MegOP if anyone gets weird about it with you. now let us begin!!

G1: goofy '80s faction dads fighting each other in a denny's parking lot every week LET'S GOOO, that shit is fun as fuck. orion pax also totally had a celeb crush on megatron before megatron ruined that and shot him and his pals 😔 and there's a lot of angst you can add with megatron becoming galvatron and optimus coming back to life to see how much he's changed!

BW: it's the sheer fucking comedy gold factor of a newly minted college graduate and a terrorist dinosaur IMMEDIATELY singling each other out on a prehistoric rock and deciding to call their daily gang slap-fights the BEAST WARS, what iconic drama queens LMAOOOO. also, megatron made his final body in BM look like optimal optimus SPECIFICALLY to fuck with him, and that's just...incredible

UT: the fact that megatron CANONICALLY acted like a grieving widower over optimus after he died in armada is. amazing. never forget their absolutely insane obsession with each other that they can never EVER give up on played a direct part in unicron nearly ending the world <3

Bayverse: this is the one continuity of all fucking things that gave us the lore about megatron being prime's lord high protector. absolute galaxy brain writing from the tie-in comics. also these two would ABSOLUTELY have the messiest, nastiest, most brutal hate sex imaginable, and that's beautiful. <3

Animated: optimus being a rookie washout underdog and megatron being a super scary much older warlord is a really interesting and underrated fresh take on their dynamic! lots of fun to be had with exploring what their relationship would be like after megatron finally acknowledged him as his archnemesis, lol. also...age AND size difference ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Prime: do i even need to say anything, i'm pretty sure that one flashback still of orion and megatronus being friends is responsible for birthing a million shippers for this pairing alone LMAOOOO. the bitter ex-boyfriends energy was TRULY off the charts in this show, it's a damn shame megatron never appeared in RID15

Cyberverse: same bitter ex-boyfriends energy but this time with dates at maccadams. megatron also dies encouraging optimus to beat the unhinged alternate dimension megs AAHH THE ANGST

IDW1: they're both depressed gay war criminals in this one who CONSTANTLY live in each other's heads rent-free and that's amazing, lmfao. also, megatron becoming an autobot means this is one of the VERY FEW continuities where it's not nigh impossible to figure out a way to give these two a happy ending together in fanon

IDW2: space date space date SPACE DATE. they were falling together and everything. megatron also LITERALLY tells optimus to open himself to him...to give him the matrix...yeah megs my dude i'm sure that's the ONLY thing you wanted from optimus "opening" himself. toootally positive, lol

G1 Marvel: megatron was SUPER fucking pissed and weird as shit about the time optimus died over a video game. it counts

Dreamwave: their first fight had megatron urging optimus to join him AND they disappeared together in a space bridge explosion once which is like, a fanfic-esque setup for them to be alone. also i'm pretty sure this is the continuity where optimus accidentally gave megatron a lobotomy, so...uh...potential for angst is to be had

SG: mirror universe!! evil crazy villain optimus with noble goody-goody hero megatron has so much potential for absolute chaos. bonus if you also bring in the normal versions somehow through multiverse shenanigans <3

KP: the only way this version of prime can redeem himself from the creepy underage human girl bullshit is if he gets a good hard dicking from megatron. next

Prime Wars: huge "ex-husbands go on a road trip with their disgruntled daughter" energy here. megatron also LITERALLY says "oh optimus, if only you could see me now" <3

Earthspark: again...need i say why? they're pals and working together from the get-go, what's not to ship??

Skybound: optimus literally wears megatron's arm. truly beautiful <3

TF One: it's not out yet but give it time. the entire movie is going to be about orion and d-16 being madly in love and tragically breaking up, baby!!

[ddejavvu]

could you do a spencer x daughter reader comfort for grade stress? my grades are a lot lower than normal and i feel awful :(

you’re an amazing writer much love <3

'$20 and a completely unabridged gossip session about my love life if you can hack into my school's system and change my grades...'

'Baby genius!' Penelope scolds, in response to what you personally believe was a very fair and enticing offer, 'I can't! I don't do bad hacking anymore, I only do the good kind :)'

'It would be good for me to not have these grades.' You type back, smearing an exasperated hand over your face. You swear you nearly drag your skin right off, and you consider attempting to do so, maybe you wouldn't have to go to school anymore if you were just a skeleton-face.

'I'm sure you're freaking out over nothing, wonder baby,' Penelope responds, full of all of her usual optimism that sickens you now, 'You of all people don't need to be worrying about your grades.'

She's wrong. Now you do, now your grades have inexplicably taken a nosedive, dropping into uncharted territory. With a father that attended college at the ripe age of twelve, you feel severely disappointing. You're not following in his footsteps, you've lost the outline of his sneakers and you're traipsing through mud trying to locate them aagin.

You don't bother responding; you're not even sure what you'd say. You don't even consider the ramifications of her saying no to your scheme, being that the world's biggest gossip knows you're upset about your grades and she's not bound to confidentiality by any suspicious illegal activity.

Which means that when your dad gets home, he heads straight for your room.

"Hi, angel," Spencer leans down to hug you over the back of your desk chair, dropping a kiss to the crown of your head. It's the same kiss he's planted on you every day since you came into the world, "Penelope said you're having school trouble?"

Your stomach drops and you groan, "That snitch."

"Hey!' Spencer scoffs, "She's the one that always spoils your birthday presents 'cause you give her puppy eyes. You use her poor secret-keeping abilities to your benefit just as much as the rest of us."

"It's nothing," You're still glancing blankly at your homework, keeping your eyes away from your dad so that you don't have to see his face. You try to brush him off before he directly asks what your grades are, "I'm just having a bad week or something."

"A bad week doesn't impact your grades that much," Spencer hums suspiciously, "And your teacher doesn't even put in grades until the week after you submit assignments, so this week being bad wouldn't have changed your grade yet. What's really going on?"

"I don't know," You confess, and you're glad he understands it's the truth and not another half-hearted excuse. He catches the wavering in your voice and knows you're being honest with him, and he can practically feel the cartoonish crack running down his heart, splitting it in two.

"Alright," He soothes, setting a hand on your shoulder and squeezing at its tense muscles lightly, "We'll figure it out. I'll help you, okay?"

"I don't want your help," You lament, tears stinging painfully at your eyes, "You- you know everything, and I don't want to hear how many times you have to correct me. I don't want to see what I should be while being reminded that I'm not."

There's a long bout of silence where your dad's hand lingers on your shoulder, the only reminder that he's still there. It's like he's stopped breathing altogether, air caught in his throat as his brain tries coming up with a solution.

"I don't want you to be like me." He confesses, and the tears stay in place at the corners of your eyes, waiting for a cue to fall.

"I'm... It was hard growing up and being different. It's hard now being different. Morgan still scoffs whenever I talk too much, and we've been friends for years. JJ cuts me off every time I go on a tangent. People aren't nice to anyone who's different."

"But that doesn't matter," You whimper, hands flying to your face to push against your eyelids like you could squeeze your tears back inside, "You aced classes, you got into college super young, you got a high profile job, you're successful, and-"

"-and if I had to choose one thing about my life to carry over into the next, none of those would be it." Your dad cuts you off, moving to pry your hands away from your eyes. He smooths his thumbs over your eyelids, softening the sting from your aggressive touches.

"Y/N," He starts, honey-colored eyes dripping with love as he stares at you from his spot perched on your bed, "All the knowledge in the world doesn't make you happy. Knowing what chemicals are attributed to love doesn't mean you feel it. Knowing what poets have written about love doesn't mean you get to experience it for yourself. I don't want you to know everything," He explains, drying a tear with the cuff of his shirt sleeve, "I want you to be happy, to be loved. And you are smart," He promises, "-just because you don't understand the material you're getting, or you aren't doing your homework, or you're overloaded with assignments so that your grades drop doesn't mean you're not smart."

"Dad," Your face crumples, your eyes squeezing shut tight as tears drip from their corners. He guides you into his embrace with a hand on the back of your head and you let him control where your weight lands, slumping into his stomach pitifully.

He rubs down your back with his free hand, letting the one shelter your face against his button-up.

"I love you," He murmurs, and you can feel the vibrations of his voice through his chest. You press your ear into it, so your brain soaks up the words, "Even if you're having trouble memorizing the..." He peers down at your paper, "-amendments to the Constitution. Okay, well, you really should know those. We'll work on it, honey."

"Okay," You can't help the weak laugh that shakes your shoulders at his reaction, and he smiles sweetly down at you when you break away, not an ounce of judgement in his eyes that are twinkling with fondness instead.

"Now," He pats your back, straightening up from where he'd been slightly hunched over to rub soothing circles into the fabric of your shirt, "Let's talk about how you're encouraging Penelope to commit cyber crimes for you."

"Uh," You grimace, glancing back quickly at your revision sheet, "I plead the... fifth?"

"That's-" Spencer looks away, biting his lip to conceal his laugh, "That's good. That's bad, don't do that. But that's good. You know number five. That's a start."