#everything i post should be considered a WIP btw

[oooocleo]

have a peep.. ill make a proper post about it when i have time, but i'm very much hoping to be able to make regular bug fae lore updates part of my patreon perks in the coming year.. i hope thats something folks are interested in! & it'll also help me make steady progress w/ it haha

[becauseimanicequeen]

My Two Cents on White Being Non Pt. 2

I’ve previously written a post about my thoughts on White being Non and I have some additional thoughts to add to that (mainly because I’ve been thinking about Tee’s interaction with Non and White respectively throughout my day and I can’t seem to stop…).

In that post, I wrote that White’s hallucination of the boils/rash on his skin could indicate his fear of something being off-putting about his appearance and how that could be linked back to Non being called “greasy”.

The first time we see Non, walking into a classroom three years earlier, Top (being his usually charming assholish self…) exclaims that there’s no shampoo there and that Non should go home and shower instead (or something like that).

While I was thinking about this earlier today (as I was creating drips on a current abstract wip of mine), Tee and White’s shower scene in the first episode just popped into my head.

(Yes, this is how my mind works when I’m in right-brain-land.)

I feel like there’s something more to their shower scene than just a sensual rendezvous in the steam (yes, their dynamic is definitely more sensual than, for example, Phee and Jin’s, but I’ll get back to this in a sec). And I believe it has something to do with White and his insecurities.

(Btw, considering Tee’s reaction to protect White when they all watch the footage from the security camera is another indication that White is feeling vulnerable in a situation like that, and Tee knows it.)

Considering that Por suggests that Non should take a shower because he’s “greasy”, and the fact that Non’s been called “greasy” by almost everyone in that group (including Tee), I don’t think it’s very far-fetched that White (Non) don’t want to have sex with Tee with the risk of being dirty (greasy) or off-putting hanging over him. And so, they have their rendezvous in a shower.

But I also feel like there’s another aspect of this since (as I’ve read many point out) the boils/rash White sees in his hallucination show up on the area of his neck and shoulder that Tee kisses in that scene in the 1st episode. This could indicate that sex, or even touching and kissing, makes him feel dirty.

And, since I’m writing this from the perspective that White is Non, there’s a perfect explanation for this…

The video of him and Keng.

That video being filmed and uploaded onto the internet was the thing that destroyed everything for Non. It was a public humiliation. He was in a compromising and vulnerable position for the world to see and criticize. Anyone could’ve started associating sex with being dirty in a situation like that (especially after reading people’s comments on the video).

There’s also the fact that he was groomed and coerced into having sex with Keng, which could’ve also made Non feel dirty. But having it on display for the world to see, that’s on a whole other level.

In other words, White’s (Non’s) hallucination of the boils/rash makes sense based on this.

But, let’s get to another point by going back to Tee and White's shower scene.

This scene is really beautiful and you can sense the vulnerability (especially since White is often shown having his arms and hands close to his own chest, which can be an indication of wanting to protect oneself). This scene is also very much in contrast to Phee and Jin’s scene in the same episode. Phee and Jin’s dynamic is more sexual while Tee and White’s dynamic is more sensual.

What’s interesting about the topic of sensuality, though, is that there’s another relationship that has a sensual dynamic. The relationship between Phee and Non. The short montage (in episode 7) showing the start of their relationship and their interactions throughout that episode definitely show a sensual dynamic between the two.

(Sure, Non doesn’t show any sign of feeling insecure or vulnerable in Phee’s company, but Phee doesn’t know Non as “greasy” like Tee does, so this could explain that difference. But if we’re just looking at the sensual vibe, it’s definitely there in both relationships.)

And what’s the common denominator: Non.

(Also, let’s not forget that little moment of Jin being absolutely captivated by Non when they’re editing the movie. There’s definitely something about Non that’s very captivating to all these bitches, which I’m planning on further developing in another post. But, I digress…)

If what I’ve already written isn’t enough, there’s also the fact that both are intelligent.

Non was the one who answered Keng (with a correct answer) when Keng asked them to solve the equation he’d written on the board. Non also had all the correct answers on the test he got back from Keng.

And what does White offer Tee in the backstory they showed us in the 11th episode? He offers to tutor Tee because White’s a smart little bee. He might play two years younger, but his intellect is not (not that it’s a feat being smarter than Tee, but I digress…).

Not to forget that we have, time and time again, seen White find the clues and information at the house. He’s, at the very least, as smart as Non. And, no wonder (since he is Non).

Are all these similarities between Non and White a mere coincidence? It’s possible.

Am I reading too much into this? Most likely.

Am I delulu? Yes. But I choose to be. At least when it comes to certain things (like DFF theories).

[evilgabe29]

daily writing day 1: rocks or some shit

link to daily writing master-post here

Yulki sat on her cushion next to her tea table, putting the pot of hot water on the coaster that sat near the right corner closest to Yulki. She began preparing the ceremony, idly remarking to herself that it would have been smarter to set everything up while the water was boiling. Yulki picked up her spoon and shoveled approximately half of the small shards of gangue into the small glass teapot on her left. She poured the hot water into the teapot slowly and carefully. before putting the glass lid on and relaxing.

She had been working double time to get those sales reports done by the end of the month. Thankfully, her son, who worked at the same company as a miner had brought her some rocks that most viewed as useless. but Yulki knew better, sure it didn't give any kind of competence but it calms her nerves much better than any kind of quartz tea. It always made her feel more nervous, like something was smothering her emotions rather than giving them a nice warm bath. 

She observed the tea as the clear blue water turned a nice reddish gray. Clearly this was mixed in with some copper so it should give a bitter taste but not nearly as strong as proper copper tea, that stuff it nearly undrinkable. 

Yulki poured herself a cup savoring the fragrance, it was truly something. She could not understand how people could throw that stuff away to cook under the moonlight. Yulki felt the tea start to cool and took a tentative sip. The sweetness of the gangue and the bitterness of the copper contrast in a perfectly soothing way. This was truly what she lived for. No other tea could match the variety nor the taste that just a little bit of gange could produce. People only cared about competence though. 

Yulki could understand the logic behind that, why worry about taste if you could take a sip of bile and gain super strength. But what did they drink for fun? What did they drink to relax? It was possible that there was something that everyone drank that she didn't know about. And it was possible that some might not like the taste of gange, but wha- Yulki cut herself off there was no point ruminating on what others were doing she should just worry about herself and just enjoy her own tea.

Once she was done Yulki got up to make herself another pot of water sliding open the door stepping into the hallway immediately forgetting what she was doing. Boy was she tired, maybe she should sleep. Yulki made her way over to her room all the way at the end of the hallway. 

Light came from the window, that wasn't a good sign, she could see the moon coming over the horizon, drenching the land in its golden light. Yulki sighed and walked over to her kitchen, throwing her pretension about competence and made herself coffee bean tea. She wasn't a big fan about how mild the bitter taste was, but it did its job. Coffee beans were found to be one of the only plants to give a competence that being wakefulness. 

Yulki grabbed the sack of roasted beans and began pounding them with her mallet, crushing them into small chunks that she poured into her travel mug along with some room temperature water. It will still infuse just not as fast as if it were hot. And rushed out of her house hastily throwing on her work uniform and probably forgetting her wallet too.

this was one of the magic systems that i was going to use for my wip before i settled on what im using right now.

gangue is a rock that is widely consider useless and is found mixed in with other useful minerals and metals, i feel like that's a bit rude so i figured id give it a bit of love

i am not proof reading any of that btw

@ohnoitsslime @kaylinalexanderbooks @theeccentricraven

@illarian-rambling @beloveddawn-blog @caligusabs

@weird-dork37 @ratedn @leahnardo-da-veggie

@you-need-not-apply @elsie-writes @fwoofz

@mr-orion @squarebracket-trickster @the-ellia-west

[onlyjaeyun]

hi my precious zadie!! i wanted to begin this with saying i love you!! and good luck to ur upcoming exams!!

i reread the chapter profiles bc i was bored and it just clicked in my head they all live in the same apt building .. (im a little slow forgive me LOL) and in one of the earlier chapters how he asked her to meet in his car now is just even more mind blowing bc it’s not “hey i can’t stop thinking abt u im here to pick u up” it’s “i wanna fuck but we have to resort to my car rn” making it sm more steamier AHHH

and the latest chapter w hoonie getting jealous over fuma had me SCREAMINGGGG it was so fun and lighthearted (i wish all men acted like that instead of literally getting mad and never speaking to u ever again) but it could also be because of their dynamic (which i love so much) you truly created one of the best pieces of e2l and this is saying a lot considering i’ve read a LOT of pieces of e2l

hope you prioritize how you feel considering your latest posts bc i understand as readers in a wip we may feel to give suggestions but at the end of the day we’re readers and you’re the WRITER this is ur smau (great smau btw!!) and you should only write what YOU want to write

you’ve already given us so much from staying up late to finish the chapters, and the additional headcannons and this is without getting to the real story (where we discover why they fell out in the first place) and i think ppl need to realize that you have a plan to your story and to request or make suggestions can alter that :(

god i’ve never written such a long message before that tumblr has that weird blue line IS THAT THE CUT OFF FOR THE READ MORE?? LMAOO maybe im rambling too much but i wanted you to truly know that ur smaus give me life after stressful days at work or school and that i will always always always always love u and ur kindness.

- 🍇

hello angel love!☁︎♥ first of all pls don't ever apologize for rambling bc I will literally give you the biggest forehead kiss ever!!! thank you so, so much for your sweet words and reassurance, I really take asks like this to heart and hope you know what they mean to me. the more I read your ask the more emotional im actually getting bc this is so sweet and heartfelt and I just :( love and appreciate you so much. readers and babes like you make this experience so much more special and it's literally everything to me.☁︎♥

honestly don't even worry about the whole one apt building part bc im pretty sure a few of you guys realize this BUT yes, the whole idea of them literally meeting in the parking lot bc they cant stop thinking about each other is what makes me go jbfsobaofo and im so glad you liked it too!

take care baby, I love you sm!☁︎♥

[courfee]

people’s takes on fic stuff fucking baffles me. i see people going on and on about word counts and complaining when updates “take too long” or refusing to read wips entirely bc they’re too impatient and i just… i cannot understand this shit.

i know that the majority of these people have had to write something for a class in school at some point. it took you weeks to write a five paragraph essay for a grade. most of the time, that’s less than 1k words.

there’s nanowrimo, where the usual goal is to write 50k words in one month. which is understood by participants as an incredibly challenging goal. it’s hard. most people who start don’t complete it in time. it takes a lot of dedicated time. it’s exhausting. and there are so many fics out there that are significantly longer than this - and you can read them for fucking free!!!

it breaks my brain how people don’t seem to understand how much effort and time it actually takes to write something.

it’s even wilder to me that people will just skip over fics entirely based off of how many hits or kudos they have. why even bother searching by ship or tags or what have you if you’re just going to discount 90%+ of your search based off of how many people read it before you. the more common place that becomes, the less amazing fics will end up getting read in the first place. it takes hits to make hits.

all of this is just so wild to me i cannot wrap my brain around it. and i hate going into fic writing for this fandom knowing damn well that i’m in a fandom where people who might genuinely enjoy something i spent hours of my time on will never even consider glancing at it because i’m not “popular” enough. i don’t publish fics for clout and approval, but there’s a reason why i share them in the first place. i’ve written plenty of fics just for myself, or for a few friends to read. but if i take the time to publish and post something, it’s because i want to share it! i put it out there hoping that other people might enjoy it like i do. because sharing that feels good. and it sucks to think that there are people who might have shared in that enjoyment with me, who will never see it because we’ve started putting this weird standard on shit.

i don’t know about other writers, but that’s exactly what i’m talking about when i say that fandom dynamics as of late are sucking the joy out of creating. i write because it brings me joy. i publish/post/share because seeing something i wrote bring someone else joy, brings me even more joy. and watching this whole shitstorm of people being shit to fic writers or completely discounting most fics for one reason or other, just cuts that down so much for me.

idk i have a lot of thoughts and feeling about this but at the end of the day it frustrating and, at times, a bit heartbreaking.

honestly you said it all. all of this.

one thing i wanna add is in regards to nanowrimo: 50k words in a month (1667 words a day btw) is incredibly hard and a lot of people don't manage it, but a common factor i've witnessed between those that have done it is that they went into it having fully planned out their stories. because writing isn't only putting down words on paper, you have to figure out what to write, if you want a great plot you usually have to plan for that, and even once you've written it all you still have to go over everything and edit it. there is even more time and effort that goes into writing that people don't see and just take for granted. it's absolutely a labor of love, and the labor part is strongly emphasised here, and still we offer it for free only for people to be bitchy about it

i just hope you keep the joy of it all, because the entire point of fandom should be that it's done for fun and with the purpose of bringing you fun...

sending you all the love there, at least we are enough people in this fandom who write and draw and cosplay and make edits and all the other things there are for creation that we can support each other through it all

[cheerfulmelancholies]

@pluttskutt sorry I accidentally posted before I could paste what I was gonna share! And then I deleted it because I'm stupid. I need to stop being so ambitious on mobile, it never goes well. Anyway, thanks to a coin toss you got treat! 🍬 So have a piece from an old wip of mine I really need to start back working on. It's a little long btw.

Diana returned home from another visit with Ethan to find her father whistling a joyful tune in the basement. Eyebrows rising, she checked the time on her watch before trotting down the stairs. Her dad was hunched over his workbench, tinkering with some odd or end of a device he'd probably never get around to finishing.

"Dad?"

Daniel dropped everything, let it fall against the wooden top with clinks and clangs, and whirled to meet his daughter's gaze. "Pumpkin! How's your day been?"

Diana forced herself not to flinch from the sudden shout. She blinked and averted her eyes from the stretched grin, opting instead to glance around him at the bench. "It's fine. What are you working on?" The tangle of wires and open plastic didn't look like something worth fixing.

He laughed, shoulders bouncing. "Nothing much. Just fiddlin' a bit with some gadgets I've been meaning to work on."

Silence fell as Diana and her father stood across from each other. He didn't look like like he was going to say anything anytime soon, so she cleared her throat to dispell some of the awkwardness. "Um, how was work today?"

"Fantastic! I'm actually being considered for a raise." His grin widened and he leaned against the workbench, palms resting on the surface.

"A raise? For what?" She didn't know how much he made there, just that it was substantial enough to support them and their lifestyle with ease. All this time, he'd never once mentioned any possibility of a raise or promotion.

Why now? What changed?

"For all my hard work, of course. My boss said he's been so impressed with my devotion. Said he felt I deserved something for it."

"...Ok?" She had no idea how she should respond to that. Her father continued to watch her, expression never faltering. "Are you feeling alright? You seem a little..."

"I'm great! This has been a fantastic day. You know what?" He pushed himself off the bench and stepped toward her. Pulling her into an excited hug, he felt his smile widen as he spoke. "How about you and I go out to eat? Have a little father-daughter bonding time?"

Diana didn't return the embrace as her father rocked them back and forth. This sudden change in mood was jarring. In any other circumstance she would be thrilled to have her father snap out of his obsession with work in order to spend time with her. But after the mishap in the garage and his unusual behavior as of late, this did nothing more than make her skin crawl. She pushed herself away.

"Where do you wanna go, pumpkin?"

"Um, this is coming out of nowhere, isn't it?"

"Well, I figured since I'm gonna get some extra cash to burn I might as well start using it. We haven't done anything together in ages." He gripped her shoulders and gave her a light shake. "C'mon, pumpkin, it'll be fun."

Diana watched in concern and slight horror as her father's unsettling smile-never once faltering-pulled his lips even wider. She looked at his eyes and, though not glassy and unfocused like they were in the garage, they seemed to hold an almost artificial light to them. There was no denying he was happy, but she had a problem with how sudden and random it was.

She spent a few more seconds regarding him before making a decision. "Yeah, sure. It has been a while since we've hung out together, hasn't it?" She grunted as he gave her another tight hug before letting go and heading up the stairs.

"Great! Let me just get outta my work clothes. You can pick the place."

Diana frowned at her father's back as he disappeared from view. This whole situation was unnerving but at least it would give her an opportunity to learn more about her father and MM. She couldn't recall the last time they'd hung out together let alone the last time he'd been in such a good mood. She was hoping that by saying yes he would be willing to discuss more about his work. After all, this was the first time he'd ever spoken so openly about it.

Several minutes later saw them in his car, going to a local diner they hadn't eaten at in a year or so. Daniel was rambling about how he hoped things hadn't changed and what he was thinking of getting while Diana stared out of the windshield with a troubled expression. She glanced sidelong at him as he went on and on, oblivious to the uncomfortable tension in the car. Her mind kept screaming that this wasn't right and by the time they pulled into the lot she'd already lost what little appetite she had.

Daniel stepped out and turned to find Diana staring at him from the passenger seat. He felt his expression falter. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," she said, climbing out and walking to the entrance. She watched his reflection approach and follow her inside.

A waitress seated them-the place wasn't all that crowded-and they began skimming through the menu.

"So," Diana started, glancing up from the words she wasn't reading, "how much is this raise of yours?"

Daniel's smile twitched. "I... What do you mean?"

"You said you were getting a raise before... You know, like more money?" She fiddled with the menu as she spoke, carefully selecting her words and tone. This was already spiraling downhill.

"I am."

"But, like, how much money? A dollar? Three? A five thousand dollar check?" She watched his eyes flicker between her and empty space. He seemed rather disoriented from such a simple question.

"They didn't say," he said after two straight minutes of silence. "I guess it'll just be a surprise." The smile returned tenfold.

Diana chewed her lip and was thankful for the waitress's timely arrival.

"What are you having?" her father asked, any hint of his prior confusion gone.

"A Caeser salad," she told the woman. She didn't think she could stomach much more at the moment. As her father placed his order for a burger she tried to process everything that was happening.

Medical Mechanical was giving her dad a raise but never said how much? What kind of a company hides that sort of info from their employees? With the way he was acting, she assumed they either told him and he forgot, or this was some elaborate scheme to manipulate him. Either way, it made her sick with worry. She needed more info.

"Hey, Dad?"

Daniel returned from staring at nothing to give her attention.

"So... Did they tell you anything about this raise? Is it part of a promotion maybe?" She thought back to Megan's comment about a new division and tried not to let it get to her.

"They've been very impressed with my work lately," he responded. "I'm rather proud myself."

Diana hummed and took a sip of water. She was never going to get anything out of him as long as he was like this. Whatever had been done to him didn't seem like it was going to wear off anytime soon. She thought about how to change the subject.

Thinking back to her failed attempts at getting him to open up about his past, she tried, "So, have you ever spoken recently to anyone you used to know before moving here?" She hoped he wouldn't remember how that discussion had went the last time she brought it up.

Daniel's smile decreased as he searched his mind for an answer. "Not recently, no," he said after a few moments. "I've been so busy with work that I haven't even thought about it."

"Do you miss anybody? Like, friends or family?"

The smile became strained. "No."

Diana observed his sudden discomfort with morbid curiosity. Was she getting somewhere? "You never wanna talk about your childhood, what am I supposed to tell my kids?" she joked, hoping to elicit a response.

He shrugged and stirred the ice melting in his cup.

"I'm guessing you don't have a lot of happy memories then. So what made you pick Lakewood of all places?"

"It's small and quiet," he said. "I liked that about it."

"And now that Medical Mechanical is here, do you still like it?"

"It's nice they're recognizing my work and giving me a raise," he said suddenly, derailing the conversation.

"That's... not what I asked. And you still never said how much they were paying you." Before she could get an answer, the waitress placed their meals on the table.

"Anything else?" she asked, eyeing Daniel's odd, listless expression.

"That'll be it, thanks," said Diana, also watching the way her father had abruptly zoned out. She frowned as she poked at her salad, nowhere near hungry.

Daniel came to and began eating as though nothing strange had happened. They sat in silence, and it wasn't until the waitress took their plates and offered dessert that Diana spoke up again.

"Are they gonna give you more time off again?" she asked the silence.

He gave her a blank look before seeming to process her words. "It's not like I mind working."

It cuts off suddenly because this is something that I haven't actually gotten to yet in the story, but it's getting there. I just like to write ahead sometimes. I hope you enjoyed it!

[dobranocka]

(sorry idk which ones you've been asked yet!) 12, 20, 33?

12. If a genie offered you three writing wishes, what would they be? Btw if you wish for more wishes the genie turns all your current WIPs into Lorem Ipsum, I don’t make the rules

Huh, that's not really something I have considered. Let me think.

All my writing will magically edit itself into shape. No more types, hanging sentences, doubled words - just a clear, readable text. Sure, I can make changes like cut something that doesn't fit or add a scene that is needed, but no more haunting of stray typos. P l e a s e.

A perfect writing playlist for every writing project. The one just makes me focus, kicks my brain into creative mode, and fits the mood of the piece I am writing perfectly. And it has to be different for each and every one! My own soundtracks, with no repetitions.

No more post-publishing things hangovers. Everything will just publish itself and I will be able to not worry about the reception it is getting or suffering from the dopamine crash. Good feelings only from now on.

Okay, that's the wrap. Can't risk turning any WIP into lorem ipsum.

20. If a witch offered you the choice between eternal happiness with your one true love and the ability to finally finish, perfect, and publish your dearest, darlingest, most precious WIP in exactly the way you've always imagined it — which would you choose? You can’t have both sorry, life’s a bitch

Obviously the eternal happiness, how is that even a choice? I am assuming my one true love here is my dog and he will live forever 😊

More seriously though - I actually had a conversation with Marron about this a few days ago, which partially has been prompted by the pain of publishing a WIP we worked on for, well, 8 months or so, and partially by the fact that my uni friend got stuck on finishing her PhD which is, in reality, fully written, but she doesn't think it's perfect yet.

Do you see what I am getting at here?

I don't think the perfect piece of writing exists. I don't think we, as writers, should strive for a perfect novel, or poem, or fanfic, or academic thesis (especially academic thesis) - just like we shouldn't strive for a perfect body, or perfect grade, or a perfect relationship. As someone who struggled with deliberating perfectionism for years - the kind that makes you quit relationships or turn away job opportunities, because they are not quite perfect - this is a topic I obviously feel strongly about.

What I instead try for is to challenge myself with my writing in a way that makes it fun for me and then try to enjoy the process, instead for aiming for something unachievable. The stories I have written so far are signs of who I am and was as a person and writer then. There will be countless other stories I will write in the future. Some of them will be better than the others, some I will like much more. None of them have to be perfect.

The real treasure will be all the typos I will make along the way 😅

(Sorry for getting quite so personal here, but I really think this mindset of striving for a unachievable perfection can be damaging for writers, at all stages of life.)

33. Do you practice any other art besides writing? Does that art ever tie into your writing, or is it entirely separate?

Do crafts count as art? If so, then yes, I suppose - I knit, I dabbled a bit in crocheting, I love cooking - I do like making things with my hands. I don't think it ties into my writing in a ways I would be able to identify, at least so far.

Thank you for asking those questions!

Ask me weird questions about writing

[ehhs-ya-boi]

I'm actually outta space in my google keeps for the outline for this one, so this is gonna be the hub for all of yesterday's tomorrow. or tomorrow's yesterday, or whatever other fuckin wip name I have for this 3gs fic.

Obviously spoilers under the cut-

Probably a short fic, but who knows. I said then-

For only the goddamn outline-

I wasn't kidding when I said I was running outta space... And don't tell Xai-AroAce I've been working on this for like a year now. Also when I wrote this a year ago I didn't really consider it, but now I'm thinking he/they pronouns for 3gs.

Overall, I don't think he'd care that much but they also never correct you when you use they/them pronouns with them so... it sticks.

= - - =

// CH1 //

You're hired at Meeple as a tutor of some kind for helping to teach the robot army, since there's far too many and Cobs is far too busy. You're a pretty good tutor so it could either be that you showed that you were good, so Cobs stations you with 3gs or that it was already established that you were a good tutor by your like resume or smth so you were automatically put with 3gs. Either way you're put to work with 3gs.

// CH2 //

I know 3gs is kinda a prick, full of himself, yada yada. He's a leader. He's sure he doesn't need your help but since Cobs specifically put you to work with him, he HAS to keep you around. He spends most of your study sessions in solo-study which is fine by you, but also a bit disheartening since you'd seen him around and wanted to get closer to him. Maybe not a crush per se, but like, you wanted to talk to him. You get a break through with him by talking about a specific topic he likes (maybe space? Robotics? Psychology/communications again?? Basing this off of that 3gs post.)

// CH3 //

You guys engage in fun conversation about robotic mechanics. I would like to think that he's actually teaching you about it and it's like an exchange of knowledge. Like you're the tutor hired to get him better at being a diplomat (so communications again...) And you help him with his tone while he teaches you how to fix mephones/the basics of robotics. You both become pretty good friends. Cobs doesn't like this and re-stations you back to the other phones. Around this point, him only considering them objects would rub you the wrong way but he's your boss and you didn't want to lose your job. You obviously do so but still meet up with 3gs for fun. No Cobs does not find out.

// CH4 //

It's time for them to leave. Everything they've been working towards. It was time to get the prime shimmers. You wish 3gs good luck and give him a hug before your shift is over since Cobs wasn't letting any of the tutors stay to watch the lift off. 3gs tells you he doesn't need luck, he's the best there is, the best doesn't need luck. He's gonna be fine. You trust him. Why wouldn't you? He'd been right about a lot. The next day you're transferred to a different department. You were one of the tutors that showed the most promising outcomes with the phones, so Cobs kept you around.

A week passes as your at Meeple, it's boring without 3gs but the pay's good. (You don't see this next part btw) Suddenly 3gs busts through the door and into Cobs' office. He gives a rundown of what happened, and begs Cobs to not try to go after the shimmers again. They're a peaceful race, please- /please Cobs don't/. Cobs shuts off 3gs, calling him outdated and a simple failure who has no right to say what he should and shouldn't do.

// CH5 //

A rumour starts going around about the MePhones came back from the trip. You being one of the top tutors of the experiment are excited to hear this and ask around about how they did and if 3gs was back. The answers were very iffy some saying he did, some saying he didn't, some admitted to not knowing. You weren't liking the mix of answers so you went to Cobs. Cobs tells you not to worry about those hunks of metal since the mission failed. He says he'll have you work with his new creation once it was finished. You're pissed for many reasons, one being that he spent to much time and money on solders who looked up to him that you really couldn't believe he'd just toss them aside like that. 3gs looked up to him- wanted to make him proud- and all Cobs had to say for it was "it needed to be stronger, so I will make one that is"??? Just- just who did he think he was????

Cobs doesn't like your back talk, it's annoying and SO yesterday. He makes some off comment about how you were empathizing too much with the robots, like how 3gs was for those power sources. It was disgusting. At the mention of 3gs your tune changes, you're a lot calmer. You question where he is, and if he'd be around MeCloud any time soon. Cobs notices your change in demeanour and uses it to his advantage: He says he's /resting/ since the mission was a failure, so it'd take some time for him to be back on his feet (or something along those lines). You're taken aback. You ask if you could see him. Cobs tells you no, he needs repairs first, and you need to focus on your job. You take the hint, not wanting to press further and wind up losing your connection to 3gs.

// CH6 //

A couple years have passed. You sort of helped tutor MePhone4, barely making any progress, since unlike his elder brother he did NOT like studying. When he wasn't making progress with the generation like Cobs wanted, he let you know that you'd be assigned to a new phone, 4s. You saw MePhone4 leave with MePad, but denied ever seeing it. It wasn't your business, you had your job to worry about, but you were glad he finally got to do what he wanted. (The show showed up on TV a couple of times but you didn't watch it regularly.) Deadlines got shorter with how long you were meant to aid the phones. 4s didn't need much help anyway due to his internet connection with Siri. When he was labelled obsolete in Cobs eyes, you were assigned to MePhone5, then MePhone5S and MePhone5C, when they'd all failed, you were the last on the chopping block.The last MePhone you saw as a tutor was MePhone6, it was only a little bit into your job where Cobs pulled you aside to tell you that your services were unneeded. The phones were smart enough to learn what they needed on their own. You were the last of the tutors left anyway, you knew this was coming...

You asked Cobs to let 3gs know that you would love to study with him again. This got a cackle out of him. "That's real funny! MePhone3gs has been rotting away storage for years at this point! You really thought it would be coming back?? I knew you were dumb when you couldn't even teach MePhone5S about anatomy but c'mon! I guess I can tell you now since I don't need you anymore. It came back from the mission broken, ranting on about what I should and shouldn't do, so there was no way I was bringing it back. It was a liability, just like you~ Now pack your stuff and leave--your severance pay should be processed in a couple of days." You felt mad- pissed again, but didn't show it this time around. You gave a quick, "Ye- yes, Mr Cobs," before returning to your desk/workstation. You knew it was weird that you'd never seen 3gs again, but a piece of you held on to the fact he was just in repair- or avoiding you- or fucking something! You never let yourself believe that he would just leave him to rot, because that was insanely fucked up. But you figured he was a fuck up corn cob so it wasn't too far off. You remembered how MePhone4 left years ago. It would be difficult, but you still remembered the places 3gs showed you to avoid the building's cameras so you could study with him. The building didn't change, and by jove, you weren't leaving without him. You told the few coworkers left that you were leaving and it sucked to go, but you had to grab a box for your stuff.

You asked where storage was, a shoe horn lets you know that there should be some in a storage closet, specifically in the one on Cobs' floor in the corner of the building. You were highly suspicious of this answer but but thanked them anyway. You walked their normally with the excuse of "I'm just getting a box" under your belt for when a MePhone (either 7, 7+, 8, or 8+) asked what you were doing. They let you go about your way as you searched around for some place with storage and 3gs. You caved after about 4-5 closets and no 3gs, and just went to the one Shoe Horn told to about to grab a box. When you got there and entered in the normal pin (4010, based on apple's founding day but reversed (3gs told you it)) that was used basically everywhere on his floor. When you went in you tried to find a light switch but there wasn't one. You couldn't risk Cobs finding you in there so you let the door close and looked around with a tiny flashlight on your keyring. It wasn't much but it worked enough to see a little bit in front of you. You looked around for an empty box, shuffling through shelves of old wires, computer parts, batteries, and even old computers from Cobs' glory days. It was all extremely dusty, hadn't been touched in years. You found an empty space in the dust where a box must've been moved (*cough* mechantosh's old spot *cough*) but carried on. In the front there wasn't any so you moved further and further back. Seeing another robot Cobs was working on You swore you saw it in one of MePhone4's episodes, you hoped he was doing well. You made a mental note to check back on the show when you got home with 3gs- once you found him of course. You had to go all the way to the back, cobwebs littered the place. You were sure nobody had been back here in like a decade... Your flashlight reflects off of a broken screen--a large one. You trace the outline with your light to realise it's 3gs... IT'S 3GS!! It takes everything in your power to not to scream/squeal/cry at the sight of him. You let out a stifled sob instead, trying to stay quiet. He was here. Not in great condition, but he was here in one piece. You were so fucking relieved.

You thought about shaking him, but figured there would really be no point since his battery was way past dead. You took some old shirt from one of the boxes and wiped the dust off of him. He definitely hadn't been touched in like a decade. You wanted to fix him, or at least get him semi-functional again until you could work with how to fix him. You knew he couldn't be awake in MeCloud because then he'd refuse to leave--he's too much of a head-strong phone. He would try to convice Cobs to get him back on whatever mission he wanted the newer phones to do, and it would just lead to him getting more trauma. You were not going to let it happen. You were getting him out of here, with everything you would need (charger, new battery, new screen). You'd been around MeCloud enough to know that he didn't keep old batteries on display anymore, so you looked around the old boxes, finding one after a while. In a different box was an old cable that would work for him if he needed a charge. You put them besides 3gs' lifeless body, before trying to move him. It was really hard to, he was heavier than you remembered. You would need a cart or something to move him out. And if you were going to do that, you'd need a box to hide him in. One like the shipping box MePhoneX came back in... It was in the back, you saw it one of the other storage closets. X wouldn't need it anymore, and you could put the other stuff in with 3gs since X was a lot bigger than him. You had a plan.

// CH7 //

The plan was to grab X's old box, shove 3gs and the things he'd need for repair in it, and gtfo out MeCloud. Easier said than done. You didn't want to cause a scene like the old contestants did, but thankfully Cobs didn't increase security much after that. The gaurds were really just the phones, and since you still had clearance to be in MeCloud they mostly left you alone. You had to act fast though, grabbing a dolly cart to push MePhoneX's box to the storage closet. You tried your best to avoid the cameras and be as nonchalant as possible, but you were practically asking for attention from the phones with the big ass box. You managed to lie your ass off through the interactions saying you needed to sort some old supplies and needed the big box to carry everything. They, being the eager machines they are, offered to help since it was probably for Cobs' sake, but you declined gently. The MePhones after 6 were an interesting bunch--practically soulless but still somehow having a remanence of benevolence in their systems. You always tried to be gentle with them, both physically (since they were prone to bending) and mentally (since they just wanted to do a 'good' job).

You managed to make it back without a hitch, pack 3gs and his necessities with major muscle pain later, and cover up everything. You'd grabbed a smaller box that you /did/ find in the corner by 3gs, so you packed up the stuff from your desk in that before packing away 3gs. With some more straining, you got the box back on the dolly and wheeled it out of the storage closet, still avoiding the cameras by going in their blind spots. You'd made it onto the elevator and to where part deliveries were dropped off. You hoped that you'd be able to find a replacement screen somewhere in there since Cobs hardly cleaned it out fully. No screen but you took your loses and gtfo. There was a transporter back to earth by the back entrance, specifically for deliveries, but it worked to get you back on land. Once there, you made your way to Meeple Headquarters' earth parking lot, since that's where all the workers were. You found your car and dropped the back seats to fit the box in your trunk. You were glad you invested in a SUV as you closed the trunk and nothing caught. You drove home in silence, the weight of what you just did hitting you as you stared at the rode.

You just stole a vip (very important product) from Meeple... You prayed Cobs wouldn't notice. You parked in your driveway and turned off the headlights. You were glad you lived alone. If you wanted to continue though, you'd need to find a job that paid at least half as well as Meeple did. You were glad you didn't blow all your money on a huge ass house when you moved. It left you with enough money to be comfortable. You thought about who else you could tutor or something as you wheeled the box to your front door. You flicked on your lights and put the box in your living room. You moved your couch and coffee table to make space for the box before plopping it on the floor. You'd taped it pretty securely so you worked on cutting open the box. Once open you took out everything besides 3gs. You laid them against a wall then forced yourself to get 3gs out of the box and sitting on your sofa. It was very eerie to have what was essentially a corpse sitting in your house, but you figured it would have to do as you got a sheet to put on the floor before putting him on it. Once that was in place, you looked around him to see if you had any screwdrivers that would fit, and thankfully you did. Even after all these years you could remember what he taught you about robotics and MePhone repair. You needed something to pry his screen off so you could reach the battery. You remembered going to the factory where they used some suction-type thing to apply it. You'd have to go to the store.

// CH8 //

It was the next day, and you got started by the phone corpse in the middle of the living room. It made you remember everything you did, and how you probably just put a target on your back for the rest of your life. Great. You made yourself some breakfast as you guessed it would be best to have 3gs up and running before Cobs tried to come for you. You went to the hardware store and bought a plunger, and some larger screwdrivers. When you came back you got to work. You put what he taught you to the test, and it turned out he was a great teacher, because you managed to open him up, pry his old battery off with your kitchen spatula, and replace all the ribbons and screws with out anything seemingly going wrong. You closed him back, his screen popping back into his frame with a little click which made you too nervious. You pushed in his power button and waited with bated breath. Nothing. Nothing happened and you were panicking internally. You then tried plugging him since the battery was probably out of power. You screamed when you plugged him in and the charging icon came up. That meant you'd done everything right and really did just had to wait for him to charge! You remembered him saying that it took a while to recharge fallen soldiers so you gave him a couple hours before pressing the power button again.

You were met with 3gs begging Cobs not to do something. It tore your heart apart, you guessed that was the last thing he was saying before being shut off. 3gs panted as he regained his bearings looking around your living room and trying to sit up from the couch. He looked around before realising you were there. He called your name in confusion and you couldn't help but bawl on the spot. You pulled him into a tight hug, completely inconsolable. He sort of just awkwardly let you cry for a bit as he looked around your living room some more, noting all the tools. He pushed you away gently to ask what the hell was going on. That's when you finally forced yourself to calm down. You told him everything: how he was dead, how long he was gone, how Cobs kept him in a closet saying he'd repair him someday but never actually doing it, how you may have kidnapped him and repaired him yourself--everything. It was a lot to take it. 3gs didn't want to believe you, but his memory before shutting down served him right. Cobs /did/ shut him off himself, and called him obsolete... 3gs didn't know what to do with himself now. He had no purpose anymore. You told him he had so much purpose! You were supposed to do so much together when he got back- you were going to teach him more- he was gonna teach you more about mechanics- and- and... You knew what you had to do. He needed to enjoy life. He needed to know that he was allowed to. He may have been made to be a solider, but that wasn't all he had to be. You brought up his successor, MePhone4. You told him about his show, how he was just like him, but doing what he pleased. You let 3gs know he was free. It was like a light sparked behind his cracked eye as he took your words to heart. He was free to do what he wanted... He asked if he could be a professor--he always liked to learn and share what he knew. You told him that of course he could, he'd just need a degree.

// Epilogue //

You parked your car in the driveway as you came back from the middle school you'd secured a job at. You figured getting a secure job was better than being a freelance contract tutour again. It was kinda stressful but the kids weren't all bad. You turned off the car and went to your door, only to be greeted by 3gs pixelated smile. He gave you a hug as he locked the door behind you. He took your keys and put them on a hook as you groaned against his screen. You still had papers to grade but his hold felt nice. He let you know that he made some dinner between working on his closing thesis on the participation of matter through regeneration. Very few places could actually generate matter and he'd finally managed to figure out how Cobs managed to to it, and now to make it more affordable. He just needed to go back to the lab at the college he was in to really get to test out his theorem. You congratulated him and shared out food for you both. He always liked to remind you that he didn't need to eat but his excitement got in the way. He'd taken over the dining table despite the fact he took over your office so you moved to the couch where you shared dinner and spoke about your evening. You were glad he was back and doing so well.

[too-young-to-fall-in-love]

#ALSO a fic AND edit combo?? how spoiled are we -- lucia you're amazing#now on to the edit: something about overdriven guitar goes so good with the car scenes#WAIT I RESTARTED IT AND THE DRUM BEAT WITH THE GUN SHOT AT THE BEGINNING IS SO GOOD -- *chef's kiss* timing#'come on in' and napoleon does (but he would also do it uninvited)#'the freak show parade' with them ziplining made me giggle#and then it made me sad bc i remembered the fic and i feel like illya would consider himself 'a freak show' during his episodes#napoleon would believe everyone wants to be him (i say lovingly) -- the look on his face is *perfect* for those lyrics btw#wrap your arms around me like a...fishing wire? haha get it? bc napoleon had to fish illya out? (i'll leave)#ok 'pull out the fire' with illya's angry look is everything#the scene's you chose for illya 'coming undone' and napoleon being 'the only one' are so good <3#i especially love love love illya flipping the table and setting down the phone#the hand grab the hand grab the hand grab -- i'll forever be in love with that moment bc of your edits#i've been meaning to make a post about their little looks on the boat BC IT'S SO GOOD#OK WAIT napoleon 'selling tomorrow's dreams' is so perfect-- like omg he really is in that moment (and 'tomorrow' def = them being together#giggling bc it's like waverly is God (he is) (...or at least he thinks so--oop)#HA i bet Waverly *has* had better days...but also worse ones?#wait sad-thinking about the fic again now and illya dreaming of a better tomorrow/future but feeling like god's forsaken him#something about 'you drag me to my knees but i'm still falling' hurts my heart for illya#THE PHONE AND THE FEAR (anger despair) IN HIS EYES#i saw the 'i feel the earth beneath my feet disappear' scene in your WIP post and was so excited bc the lyrics/timing are everything!!!!!#'I'm out of words' with the phone is also so genius!!!#wait is illya 'out of time' bc the watch is broken? haha that's so good#and then 'give me your hand reach out for mine' is just so good with the watch bc it really is napoleon showing love/trust/reaching out ahh#thank you for sharing!!#hurt! illya my beloved#casually re-doing this bc i ran out of tags the first time LMAO -- even tumblr's telling me to shush (via @falling-into-peril)

BESTIE HELLO tumblr is just being mean bc i don't think u should shush

also LOVE the fishing wire thing HELLO (he definitely does have to fish him out that is so silly i love it lol)

you drag me to my knees/but i'm still fallin' is such a banger line omg i love it so much actually

yes bc in that moment he is so scared and so angry and *screams*

just yes yes yes to all of this omg i loved reading all of your reactions they were so amazing (and tumblr is wrong don't ever shush)

Come Undone

read the companion fic on ao3 here

[alphacygni]

Hi! Hope you're doing well! For the ask meme, I wanted to know about the fics that haven't been asked yet (if they have, sorry!). I'm guessing Temp2 is the second part to Temptation (that's awesome, btw!!), but what is Pccot3?

I'm sorry it's taken me so long to get to this: it definitely wasn't for lack of wanting to force everyone to look at more fic summaries that I desperately wish I had time to write.

Temp2 is indeed the second part to Temptation, which I am really considering just posting on tumblr because realistically it's never going to get to the point where I feel good about adding it to the first part officially, but people seem interested...?

Pccot3 stands for "post-canon Cardassia OT3" and the tags/summary goeth thusly:

Julian Bashir/Elim Garak, Elim Garak/Kelas Parmak, Julian Bashir/Kelas Parmak, Julian Bashir, Elim Garak, Kelas Parmak, Original Cardassian characters, post-canon Cardassia, POV Julian Bashir, forget beta canon, let’s get these three together shall we?, fluffy, friend of friend to lovers, should-have-been lovers to lovers, world-building through food, man-made lakes, the Cardassian kids are okay, kotra, always with the kotra

Julian Bashir went to Cardassia to reconnect with Elim Garak. He found Kelas Parmak waiting for him instead.

**********

Of everything in my WIP folder, this is the one I'm least likely to finish. Not because I don't like it--there was some really fun stuff with Bashir and Parmak meeting, and I do love being on Cardassia and world-building. But I have always been, for some reason, just generally less motivated to write post-canon Cardassia. I think probably because it has been done so often and so well. But I do wish there was more Bashir & Parmak stuff because I found that a surprisingly fun part of writing this one.

(Unfortunately for any writing I want to do, I just started a new job which, while it's a huge promotion and very much what I want to be doing, it leaves even LESS time for writing. RIP my WIP folder)

[stiles-o-dylan24]

Here is where I will put a request that was sent in that I have accepted and am currently working on plus a rough schedule of when it will be posted. If you would like to send in a request please read the guidelines here first!

My requests are currently closed until I get through these, however, feel free to send any in to me still. The closed status is for the sole purpose of there not being a schedule right now and I don’t want to make you wait while I try to get my life sorted. So if you’re wanting something quickly, just keep that in mind when you send something in to me for the time being.

Join my Taglist here

Requests accepted and are WIPs as of 2nd Nov 2023

◆ I'm a sucker for those fics where the reader is there from the start in the maze and see her through all that happened but that's a lot of work and I won't ask you to do that if you're full of work and other things bc that's a lot 😅 idk maybe reader is taken from WIKED with minho and they safe her and newt doesn't die so they have an happy ending and much fluff, kisses, love (maybe angst when she thinks he's dead but plot twist he's not they got there in time with the serum) - request submitted by anon

I Will Follow You || Newt x OC (Emmie)  final edits stage - scheduled to start posting: 2024 

◆ FFH Rewrite || Peter x Stark!OC(Millie) - requested by anon

You’re My Home  writing process - scheduled to post: 2024

◆ 9-1-1 Rewrite || Eddie x OC (Avery) - requested by anon

Spark the Flame outlining process - scheduled to post: tba 

◆Steve Rodgers marvel rewrite || Steve x OC (Caroline) - requested by anon

A Product of War  outlining process - scheduled to post: tba 

◆ Teen Wolf Movie in IABY universe w/ Staddy 

IABY the movie outlining process - scheduled to post 2024

◆ AT THIS POINT I THINK WE NEED SOMEONE TO WRITE SOMETHING ABOUT SPIDEY DYLAN 👀👀👀 - submitted by anon

unnamed outlining process - scheduled to post tba

◆ Heloo don't know if someone already asked you this, but my TikTok is randomly full of criminal minds edits after a while and my love for the show (spencer Reid) is back now and I just wanted to know if you would ever consider writing a story about him? All I want is some angst kidnapping shit and girl I remember your angst scenes on IABY and let me tell you, masterpiece, so just so you know, I would love to read something about Mr Spencer Reid (and I just think you are full with a lot of writing now with every story that you wanna post so obv there is no rush and I will patiently wait for it, if you want to/feel like writing something NO PRESSURE PLS I PROMISE)Just do your think babes, I trust you completely, just a little nice angst to cry about (possibly with a happy ending but it's on you)  - request submitted by anon

unnamed outlining process - scheduled to post 2024

◆ can you write something like stiles being and alpha and having to turn the reader (they're both in love with each other but are oblivious to it) so when the reader is in heat stiles can't control himself and they end up having sex and confessing their feelings for each other - request submitted by anon 

Be My Luna  writing stage - scheduled to post: 2024 

◆ heyy i don't know if you're taking requests but if you are could you do a fic where brett is bullying liam or something and y/n dunbar protects him and starts raging on brett and then he kisses her - like all fluffy and cute. btw i love your works they're frickin awesome - request submitted by anon

You’re an Idiot  writing stage - scheduled to post: 2024

◆ Staddy first time extended scene to include the *smut* - request submitted by a lot of you ;)

IABY Chapter 59 writing stage - scheduled to post: 2024 

◆ IABY Addy’s 18th bday *smut* - request submitted by a lot of you

Tattoos & Birthday Cake   writing stage - scheduled post: 2024

◆ Once everything calms down for you...what can I do to get you to write a Castiel x OC or even better Misha x OC? Pretty please with a Cherry 🍒 on Top! The OC should be short, with blue and purple hair. Is quick witted and sassy. For a story with Cass, she could be Bobby's niece or Winchester step-sister closer to Sam's age so she is not so young. She could run an inn that is suddenly haunted and calls the boysin for help. For Misha...an AU like a Crossing Jordan or Bones scenario...She’s a med examiner or lab tech. He's the detective or FBI agent. - request submitted by @stixnstripesworld​

unnamed outlining stage - scheduled post: tba 

◆ IABY extended scene/add on scene- Addy confining in Stiles about her wolf’s bane hallucination she saw from season 2 - request submitted by anon

IABY Chapter 57 writing stage - scheduled post: 2024

◆ hey i know your not taking request right now but, I just rewatched how to lose a guy in ten days and I was wondering wether you could do a stiles stilinski au series where he makes a bet that he can get any woman to fall in love with him and the reader is journalist and she writing an article about how you can get a playboy to settle down as i love your writing and would die if you would do something like this? Thank you in advance! - request submitted by anon

unnamed outlining stage - scheduled to post: tba 

◆ Crossover of Teen Wolf & SPN, OC sister!winchester and ultimate love interest being Stiles- set in college years. Smut if you’re comfortable, either one shot or maybe a mini series? Whatever you’d like! - request submitted by anon

unnamed outlining stage - scheduled to post: tba 

◆ Okay not sure if you’re still taking request but, I want to know if you can do one with Isaac and reader where he comes back from France and tries to get back on her good side. And he ends up having to help save her (the reader insert and maybe it starts off angsty and fluffy at the end) - request submitted by @mya-bleu

unnamed outlining stage - scheduled to post: 2024

◆ But maybe a derek x reader fic or something where she's pregnant? The pack suspect something but don't realise it until Scott senses she's pregnant cuz he can hear the heartbeat or smell her hormones changing. They ask if she's told Derek and she hasn't but she realises if Scott could tell then Derek must too and when she finally tells him, he's like "yeah I knew, I could tell a couple of weeks ago like Scott but wanted to wait until you were comfortable enough to tell me" and they're really excited to have a baby of their own? Thank you!! Sorry if its a long and complicated request too! - request submitted by @sunwardsss​

12 weeks writing stage - scheduled to post: 2024

◆ A request please where the reader and Derek make a bet to see how long it takes the pack to realise they're together and the winner gets whatever they want from the other 😂 - request submitted by anon

Can’t Get Enough writing stage - scheduled to post: 2024

◆ I'm really sorry for making a request when they're closed but I hope you don't mind me asking, ever since you said you'd write for Chris I haven't gotten it out of my mind. Reader is one of the high school teachers and has to do parent teacher conferences and the reader and Chris just hit it off immediately and start seeing each other in secret but the pack and Allison eventually find out? - submitted by anon

Conferences & Secret Kisses writing stage - scheduled to post: 2024

If you have sent in a request and do not see it on this list that means 1 of 2 things:

I have already answered your ask and either I’m choosing not to fulfill the request OR I need a question answered or more info to complete your request so search through my page under the tag of your username and #requested

or tumblr impersonated a Dino and ate your ask so please send it in again!

Non Requested WIPs 

◆ Scary Movie Night - Steve Harrington

writing stage - scheduled to post tba

◆ Give Me a Chance - Steve Harrington

writing stage - scheduled to post tba

◆ From Work With Love

writing stage - hiatus but planning to start posting again 

◆ Soulmate Mitch Rapp collab with @lettersofwrittencollective​

◆ 25 Puzzle Piece Bingo - mixed between Stiles, Stefan & Dean

Rewrites I Am Wanting to Start 

◆ Outer Banks - JJ x OC (Cordelia)

Our Paradise on Earth outlining process - scheduled to post tba

◆ 9-1-1 - Eddie x OC (Avery)

Spark the Flame outlining process - scheduled to post tba

◆ The Walking Dead - Daryl x OC (Maddie)

You’re All I Need outlining process - scheduled to post tba

◆ Pretty Little Liars - Jason DiLaurentis x OC (Aubree)

The Games We Play outlining process - scheduled to post tba

◆ Game of Thrones - Robb Stark x OC (Eleana)

Survive the Great War outlining process

◆ The Last of Us

unanmed outlining process - scheduled to post tba

◆ The 100 - Bellamy Blake x OC

unnamed outlining process - scheduled to post tba

[onthevirgeofdestruction]

35 Q’s for Fanfic Writers

From this post

I’m having a shitty, rude alter-y, crap night so I’m just going to answer all of these to distract myself and focus and to not bother anybody just making my own post and putting it under the cut btw, notice to anyone not aware: since I’m moving I won’t likely be updating anything until I’m done doing so.

1. From one to five stars, how would you rate your writing?  (No downplaying yourself!) 3/5? Could use more editing and description and can be weirdly paced.

2. Why do you write fanfiction? Because it’s better than focusing on pain 24/7. 

3. What do you think makes your writing stand out from other works? I don’t seem to have a specific narrative voice that people recognize but I’m pretty proud of mostly organic dialogue. 

4. Are there any writers that inspire you? as a rule i never look up to anybody for inspiration but there’s some stuff in my ao3 bookmarks I fawn over.

5. What’s the fic you’re most proud of? Right now, none of them. It changes normally, anyway. If get too proud then I’d get my ass kicked by RSD if someone didn’t like it so it’s safer this way

6. What element of writing do you find comes easily? Dialogue. 

7. What element of writing do you struggle with most? Organic description, poetic language kind of stuff. I can paint a scene but I’m not so great with bring out out a feeling with description alone.

8. Which character(s) do you find easiest to write? Janus and Virgil are probably tied. They both have things I struggle with but I don’t have to go back and do much adjusting of language and tone with them. Though admittedly my Virgil is signifigantly more foul-mouthed than canon and I tend to prefer pre-AA feral asshole Virgil.

9. Which character(s) do you find most difficult to write? Patton. I write him the least, so people can probably tell. I love Patton, I really do, but it’s so hard to keep away from fanon Patton. 

10. What’s your favorite genre to write for? Angst w/ H/C obviously. Or if you’re talking about regular book genres, Fantasy. I fucking love fantasy world building.

11. Who or what do you find yourself writing about most? Trauma. I blame Daeram. As if Ayri isn’t a giant Angst Demon.

12. Tell us about a WIP you’re excited about. Slopes. I’m really into it. I’ve got three one shots running right now. Patrons can read the first part of the unnamed cat remus one, there’s also a coffeeshop au tropey nonsense one like eglantine & lycoris, but Slopes is addiction angst. Mmmmm. Virgil is addicted to coke and alcohol and will listening to his friends even be in time? Who knows, especially not me, but there’s already over 30k. 

13. First fandom you ever wrote for? InuYasha. Or was it Harry Potter? Or shit, The Blue Sword? Fuck, I’ve been writing for a long time, I really have no idea.

14. What’s your favorite fandom to write for? Sanders Sides. The characters are the perfect dynamic for writing since they exist in balance of each other and the popular, easy to project on archetypes featured are incredibly fun to do basically any scenario with.

15. What’s the weirdest fandom you’ve ever written for? Weird storywise? Kingdom Hearts? I can’t even follow the plot anymore. Weird Fandomwise? Sanders Sides. Its simultainiously the fluffiest and angstiest nonsense at the same time.

16. Any guilty pleasure trope(s)? Vampires. Gay ones. Gay Vampires. I also love calm tol and angy smol.

17. A trope you’ll never, ever write for. Any tropes that normalize incredibly toxic behaviour or tropes that are inherantly ableist, but I can’t think of any.

18. Wildest fic you’ve ever written? Incorrigible continues to be complete nonsense.

19. Do you prefer canon-compliant, AUs, or something in-between? AUs. I mean closest I even have is canon-divergence other than a single short.

20. Gen fic or shippy stuff? I like it when there is gay nonsense along with a plot that is treated as more important than the relationship the most. But I like both. There’s more shippy stuff in tss so i read more shipping action by default.

21. Favorite pairing to write for? (platonic or romantic!) Anxceit/Sleepxiety, but in general, give me darksides or give me death/j

22. Do you listen to anything while you write? Almost everything I write has a special playlist I listen to to help me write it, but otherwise I listen to my Nyan playlist, an alter is picking the tunes, or a voidfam playlist. I never have music off. When my internet is down I just listen to the songs I own or Anxiety’s theme on loop.

23. Do you prefer prompts and challenges, or completely independent ideas? I’m fine with all of them. I love working with prompts but I tend to deviate. And I’ve never done a challenge since I can’t do deadlines and bad things happen bingo never sent me a card and I applied three times.

24. One-shots or multi-chaptered works? I am generally multi-chaptered stuff, but I’ve been working on a few one-shots lately that are much longer than most one shots.

25. Have you ever daydreamed about side adventures/spin-offs from your fic? Tell us about them! I was originally thinking of doing some little 13-year-old Dreaming!Roman (y’know, the one with a job) shorts but it turns out I just had an alter of that little bastard and that’s why I inexplicably know more about him then I ever even considered. I still might do them after Dreaming is done. But that’s paced so slowly who knows when that might happen. Otherwise I put stuff in my notes and just do shorts of it if I’m like “oh you know what’s cool???” but since I can’t daydream maybe this question doesn’t apply to me.

26. Is there anything you’ve wanted to write, but you’ve been too scared to try? I want to do more autism stuff, and I’ve had it demanded a few times, but I’m scared of being that explict about it for some reason. Possibly because I might be, possibly because I’m scared of doing it wrong even though I’ve accidentally coded multiple characters autistic. I’m scared of explictly tagging them as such, too. 

27. What’s the nicest comment you’ve ever received? That I can remember off the top of my head? I’m going with one from @a-genz-with-trauma-and-kins. It really helped me out and was just so kind and literally the best christmas gift I got in 2020. 

28. How well do you handle criticism when it comes to your writing? I can handle it alright but Daeram is a little fucking pissbaby about it. Constructive criticism helps people get better, so I appreciate it. I can’t handle critism that is incomplete, though. “i just don’t get it” or “I don’t know I don’t like it” kind of things. If I can’t understand the why to fix it then things get out of control. And then I spiral and RSD for like four days minimum. If it came from an anon or a troll, too, It might not bother me for as long. Things that are just like “this is shit and you should feel bad” just make me laugh. Couldn’t even bother to read it long enough to insult me proper? I don’t care.

29. Have you ever gone outside of your comfort zone for a fic? How did it turn out? I have a few times. Mostly in shorts and prompts, I think. I think they turned out okay. They’re not particularly inspired or anything.

30. Tooth-rotting fluff or merciless angst? Depends on my mood. Am I triggered? give me the fluff. Am I vibin? Angst. 

31. Do you have any OCs? Tell us about them! Fuck, fam, no, I can’t, I have so many. I have multiple original stories and some of them have very large casts and like holy fuck. Or do you mean in Sanders Sides fandom? Um, Morgan and Thorn in PD. The lesbian and her himbo dynamic. I love them. They’re dorks. Morgan is strong person with sharp tongue and soft romantic heart and Thorn is just so kind and so dumb and so exciteable he’s like a puppy. They were just filler characters and I got attached to them. Felton even gets redemption for being an ass later in PD, like oof i never intended to include so much OC content, especially for names I just picked randomly. 

32. Summarize a random fic of yours in 10 words or less. nope I’m doing all of them because these are fun plea for my new self: 2 gay vampires, 4 humans, 1 braincell dreaming while I wake: trauma child needs therapy and so do you break: big oof, oh dragons, oh why, go virgil go rebuild: virgil is so not okay there’s more virgil to deal painful death: gay teens drink themselves into a new religion stargazing: whoops we didn’t realize people actually cared whole castle: everyone will throw down for kid!patton, even you incorrigible: found family with a shot of psychological horror and crack dangerous instincts: wholesome crime syndacite action  slopes: addict gets mugged and thinks that’s just fine with him conflagration: logan avoids everything ever like a champ cat!remus: bored fae shifts gay pining from one person to another  caffeine cyptids: caffinated gay panic goes faster than regular gay panic eglantine & lycoris: more tropes than you can toss a shoe at storytime: overpowered virgil also overreacts literally always

33. Is there anything you wish your audience knew about your writing or writing process? an alter and I write together and I have absolutely no idea what’s going to happen, what I’m writing about, or even what year it is. I often don’t even remember what I wrote. There’s no outline. I have an idea and I pick things at random for it. There’s just notes and an evil gleam in a demon’s eye. The only reason I know more than readers is because I take a long time to edit and some of these stories have fucking alters up in my head who can tell me things. Daeram tells me nothing. The writing demon supposedly has all this knowledge but I have absolutely no clue because he does not talk to me, he just fronts and slams out 9k in a few hours or we cofront to write and I’m like “oh no she didn’t” while typing 

34. Copy and paste an excerpt you’re particularly fond of. i’m fond of the entire painful death series and I tried to find something I really liked without spoilers in stargazing and I couldn’t so here’s a random thing from incorrigble: “So, what do you do with your friends?” Patton continued on with a megawatt smile. “Grand larceny,” Virgil deadpanned and glared at Patton, who was taken aback. Remy and Andy just broke out laughing while Virgil tentatively sipped his still-too-hot-cocoa. 

35. Ramble about any fic-related thing you want!  slopes my dudes slopes i have learned so much about cocaine! like wow! I thought for a minute it was going to end with MCD around 30k but it swtiched from whump to hurt/comfort and I still don’t know if it’s going to be MCD but look at that funky little coke/alcohol addict go, it’s a medical wonder he’s alive! It’s not like there’s what seems to be a little talked about interaction between alcohol and cocaine that causes a toxic chemical to build up in the liver which can result in liver failure and sudden death at basically any moment! Which is part of why it may result in MCD but this time no ghosts! maybe it’ll be h/c with whump elements or maybe it’ll be whump with h/c elements we can’t know for sure

[uthseikoashx-inflamedme]

Personal favourite HP (&FB) fanfictions (but unfortunately it’s mostly GGAD)

posted: 08-10-2020 edited: 08-24-2020

(really sorry for the mistakes! fanfics are better i swear)

I read several HP and FB fanfics during the last few months, and in order to sum up my favourite ones, here is this post. It’s entirely and obviously personal, and to be honest, it’s more something which is more supposed to help me than recommanding something to you

But I truly think those fanfictions are great, so if you didn’t already read them, you may enjoy them!

I might update it every now and then, by the way!

(most of them are already quite well-known though, sorry)

Put Your Guns Away, it’s Tea Time (52k) and Put Your Curse in Reverse (276k) (from the It’s Tea Time serie), written by ellizablue :

A very lovely, funny and well-written story which follows Albus Severus Potter and Scorpius Malfoy, Harry and Ginny Potter, the rest of the Potter-Weasley family and all of the surrounding people after the events of Harry Potter and the Cursed Child.

It’s technically canon-compliant - the author created an amazing story based on HPCC - and did it so well! I admit I was a bit disappointed about HPCC when it had been published, but It’s Tea Time “fixed” all of the things I was confused about.

Albus’ and Scorpius’ relationship is adorable, both of them are interesting characters. Harry and Ginny are amiable and attentive parents, they protect people they love. James Sirius and Lily Luna are also great - and to be honest, all of the characters are refreshing, complex, ect. I could talk about it throughout countless of pages. So many themes are brilliantly treated. I still didn’t read the third opus of the series!

(if I should recommand one only series of HP fanfictions, I would recommand this one)

Several fanfictions written by meanwhiletimely :

Illumine (10k) :

In Prague in 1914, Albus Dumbledore goes to a Gellert Grindelwald’s brillant speech. The political discussion between Albus and Henry Potter, how Gellert is able to enthrall a breathless crowed, Gellert’s and Albus’ very special and intense relationship, the wonderful Christian imagery and parallels, the description of the surrounding world and the ambiance, Gellert’s speech... It is quite marvellous, well-written and perfectly bitter-sweet - more bitter than sweet though. Eventual smut, very good, but imo, it cannot be considered as the very heart of the text, even though the sexual tension is omnipresent. I can't help but read it oftenly, and everytime I'm amazed - it might be my favourite GGAD fanfiction in fact. Brilliant.

Extreme Incantations (10k) :

In order to find clues about the Elder Wand story, Albus and Gellert try a “decadent, degenerate, deranged” ritual. A lot of smut, but again, their relationship and their psychology are absolutely central. I loved how they are portrayed, loved to discover Gellert’s thoughts and point of view. Again, it’s brilliantly bitter-sweet - even quite heartbreaking. Like Illumine, I have so much more to say, but I’ll stop here and just say: if you are interested by Summer of 1899 fanfictions, you could be delighted to discover it.

The Seer in the Tower (2k5) and Collateral (3k) are as great as Illumine and Extreme Incantations. In the first one, Tom Riddle meets Gellert Grindelwald after 1945 ; in the second one, Gellert and Ariana talk thanks the Resurection Stone. Light Bringer (10k), which sums up the Summer of 1899, is also amazing - incredibly painful, hopeless and horrendous, and Gellert Grindelwald is definitely not a good person - but still amazing.

Thirty-Five Owls (11k) by Letterblade :

After 1945, Albus and Gellert sent letters to each other - and I will add nothing more about the plot. A quite famous fanfiction - published in 2008 - and rightfully recognised as a brillant one. Beautifully written, the tag "Everything Hurts" is accurate, constantly breathtaking. I loved more than everything else the end - overwhelming, and yet so simple. Even canon-compliant, what more could we ask? In a nutshell, an unmissable work.

White (2k) (M) by Vandrerska :

“The story Gellert Grindelwald would tell if somebody took the trouble to ask.”, or a magnificiently well-written 1st person POV fic with Gellert talking about Albus and 1899. Here is the same vibe we already have in Thirty-Five Owls, but with the benefit of a heart-to-heart conversation between Gellert and the reader directly. Needless to say that both of the hearts involved in the conversation are broken. I love how it is written (but it is no surprise, well-crafted angsty texts like this one own my heart). 

nobody else but me (5k) by Roflskate :

After meeting Percival Graves and starting a correspondence with the very head of MACUSA's Department of Law Enforcement in 1926, Albus Dumbledore thinks he's finally ready to move on from Gellert Grindelwald. Well, if you saw Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, you know he's not.

I'm fond of the plot: the way we, as readers, already know how that story is doomed to end, is the very heart of the text - and speaking of the end, I loved it - just like Thirty-Five Owls, simple and heartrending. Again, bitterness is back. Beware of the manipulation and the very questionable consent, it's literally the plot.

(btw, this work inspired this post: GG as Hogwarts teacher/librarian before FBaWtFT: where are the fanfics? (if someone wants to write it please i will be pretty happy))

(In every bloody fanfiction I recommend Albus is suffering, sorry about that) (and it's not going to end with the next fanfic) (suffering is inherent to the character though so)

The Trial of Albus Dumbledore (51k) by Aurora_xx :

In this post-FBCoG AU, Albus Dumbledore is questioned about his relations with Gellert Grindelwald. But before his trial, he unknowingly took Veritaserum. To be honest, I felt it first as a “satisfying” AU: people we don’t like became a bit ridiculous, people we like get through (well, mostly).

Nonetheless, it’s more than that: the trial scene is incredibly tense, the consequences are terrible, and we want to see what's going to happen next. Moreover, the character development is suprisingly remarkably well-done - Vinda Rosier has an amazing backstory, for example; Newt and Newt’s friends are also very likeable, complex, etc. We love to hate Travers, Grindelwald is a character we eventually support (for specific reasons, mostly because he’s powerful, self-confident, rather hilarious and badass, but also a bit more human than we could think). And all we want to do is taking care of Albus.

It’s definitely a really pleasant fanfiction - but not an “easy” one, there are a lot of hard themes and very tense scenes, etc. This story is still considered as a WIP, though the five first chapters are already enough. 

Three fics of mautadite :

A Metaphor for Change (1k) (M) : I will just rewrite the summary here, so: "Five things Albus could not bring himself to say to Gellert. (One of them is a lie.)”. I really liked it, it is angsty - but the sweetest way, the very sad way.

To Be Great (0.3k) (G) : What Albus and the Sorting Hat said when Albus put the Hat on his head for the first time. Really a relevant and sharp character study. Again, I felt a hint of a sweet kind of angst. I wonder if I am the only one, you tell me.

Love Letters (6k) (E) : Scenes of Gellert’s and Albus’ life from 1995 to 1899 - often conversations, so say hello to well-crafted relationships between mc and other characters. Here comes the angst again (I think the author writes Albus and Gellert that way - or maybe, the characters are meant to be suffused by angsty undertones). The fact that we go back in time hurts a lot, because every smile they have are perverted by our knowledge of what happens next - the happiness won’t last, and really, it hurts. Canon compliant.

GGAD works of verivala (bloodtroth on tumblr)

Many short one-shots, from fluff to angst - sometimes droll, sometimes soft, often painful, quite always (a bit or a lot) bitter-sweet. You might at least find few of them interesting.

Grindeldore one-shots (22 works)

Grindeldore requests (5 works)

Grindeldore prompt fills (38 works)

L’Indiscible (190k) by Neaniver279

This one is a French one! Deux ans après la fin de la guerre, Percy Weasley - profondément meurtri par la mort de Fred, de laquelle il s’estime responsable - est renvoyé par une mystérieuse potion au 25 décembre 1975. Plusieurs élèves de Poudlard attirent son attention et son affection, voire un en particulier, Sirius Black.

Un pairing très inhabituel qui fonctionne bien ; un Percy Weasley passionnant - faillible, perdu dans ses doutes et sa culpabilité, mais avec une répartie, une malice et une sensibilité hors du commun ; des Maraudeurs et des jumeaux Weasley attachants, avec une personnalité définie et nuancée ; une idée originale géniale, car si le voyage dans le temps ouvre des portes à une nouvelle palette de réflexions et d’expériences pour Percy, il permet aussi d’intégrer un mystère et de la tension autour de la potion, l’Indiscible.

Pas d’underage, mais une relation prof-élève tout de même - tout du moins, pendant un segment de l’histoire. Intéressante, touchante, très drôle, amère, complexe et pathétique. WIP.

Thanks for reading, I hope it had helped!

Thanks to all of the authors also! You are brave, tenacious and doing an amazing work. Thanks a lot! :)

(And of course, beware of the tags, if you are triggered by specific content - homophobia, blood, hospital, violence, explicit sex scenes, manipulation, death, etc)

08-24-2020 edit: Thirty-Five Owls, nobody else but me and verivala’s works added. 02-18-2021 edit: White and mautadite’s works added.

(08-24-2020: i’m also currently interested by Kierkegarden’s works, an already quite inevitable GGAD author, I might add some of them later)

[murfeelee]

October! Weekend! Replies!

Wow, y’all! I’m so glad everyone’s liking my Simblreen 2020 stuff so far; thank you!  🖤 Just hang on tight; there’ll be more being uploaded over Spooktober’s upcoming weeks!

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Simblreen Replies!

I effing hate that Tumblr disabled Xkit’s Activity+ features, cuz that just makes it THAT much harder for me to filter comments to reply to, URGH. So If I miss someone, it’s not my fault.

mspoodle1 replied to your post “MurfeeL’s Simblreen 2020 Collection“

🎃👻🦇

drawing-way-outside-the-lines replied to your post “MurfeeL’s Simblreen 2020 Collection“

OhYesOhYesOhYesOhYesOhYesOhYesOhYesOhYesOhYesOhYesOhYesOhYesOhYesOhYes!

kosmokhaos replied to your post “Simblreen 2020 Pt1 - Megaset”

Murfeeleeeeee You always scratch that occult fantasy itch in meeeee 😭❤Thank you

Thank YOU! I freaking love occult fantasy; I wish I lived in a witchy-poo Halloweentown gothic world where everyday is Halloween. I really do.

bbcopperdaisy replied to your post “Simblreen 2020 Pt1 - Megaset”:

Ooooooh…this set fulfills so many wishes I didn’t even know I had!  Eagerly anticipating the upcoming sets.   Happy October!  BTW-Halloween will have a Blue Moon this year, how cool is that?

It’s VERY cool!

merlinlefey replied to your post “Simblreen 2020 Pt1 - Megaset”

Love the dreamcatcher

cas-sims replied to your post “Simblreen 2020 Pt1 - Megaset”

Looks very Killstar-y (though I know they steal from independent designers). I love it!

I named a lot of the items directly after their Killstar inspirations, yes (the Pet Beds--whose textures I used in all the summoning related content; the dreamcatchers, etc).

starchildange replied to your post “Simblreen 2020 Pt1 - Megaset”:

OMG DID YOU MAKE THIS FOR ME THANK YOU 😭 i would buy every single one of these items irl take my moneyyyy

SAME! I would love to own some Killstar stuff, but they are waaaay outside of my budget (which is a effing crime, considering cas-sims’ tea above  ☕🍵 ). Dollar Store’s Halloween sections are good enough for me, thanks. XD

noctsim-reblogs reblogged your post “Simblreen 2020 Pt1 - Megaset”:

Loooooove!!! Thank you!!!!

simsmono replied to your post “Simblreen 2020 Pt1 - Megaset”

Wow thanks for these!! <333

mspoodle1 replied to your post “Simblreen 2020 Pt1 - Megaset”

YES!!! Thank you Murf! ♥

darkccfinds replied to your post “Simblreen 2020 Pt1 - Megaset”

How beautiful is this set 🦇🖤🦇

drawing-way-outside-the-lines reblogged your post “Simblreen 2020 Pt1 - Megaset”

*Cries in Simblreen*

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Dragon Replies!

And thank ytou to everyone who liked the Dragon retextures I managed to cram in at the end of the frikkin month! XD

itsyuiri replied to your post “Green Isle - Dragons WIP Pt1“

Yesss, this is exactly what these precious dragons needed! 😍

magicalpersonchaos replied to your post “Green Isle - Dragons WIP Pt1“

Looks amazing so far!

nocturnalazure replied to your post “Green Isle - Dragons WIP Pt1“

❤️❤️❤️

mspoodle1 replied to your post “EA Dragon Valley Eggs & Dragon Retextures”

Awesome stuff Murf! Thank you! ♥

ratztom replied to your post “Green Isle - Dragons WIP Pt1“

Amazing job as always ! :D

ratztom replied to your post “EA Dragon Valley Eggs & Dragon Retextures”

Amazing job ! :0 By the way I just download Dragon Valley xD

Omg, I hope you like it! DV should work wlll in your Wonderland World project for sure!

enable--llamas replied to your post “Green Isle - Dragons WIP Pt1   Dragon (龙 lóng) – a...”

Aww they’re so cute and that last gif has such boyband energy 😂

Move over EXO & BTS!

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Thanks for everything, and Happy Simming!

[onefernecito]

ALRIGHT

Just for my own sake imma do a list of personal reasons to keep on living so I can check it out whenever I feel like life's not worth its tribulations (the day there's nothing on this list is the day I'll kill myself lol). My reasons are probably gonna be ridiculous to some people, but these are the things that make me truly happy rn, so idgaf.

HERE WE GO:

I still have Xenia's route to finish.

And Cecelia's too, for that matter.

I have to be alive to watch all the amazing Haikyuu! episodes yet to be animated.

And the Kimetsu No Yaiba ending, omg, I consider that anime is a masterpiece despite how hard it makes me cry.

MY HARLIVY WIP, god, I can't die without finishing and publishing that one.

ALSO THE RHAENICENT FIC I'M CURRENTLY PUBLISHING (I should update it soon, btw).

AND THE ENDING OF HER SHIM CHEONG.

Does Malori from Mage and Demon Queen get to be with the Queen Vel? That story seriously gives me life, ngl.

And Letters on the Wall that's on Webtoon. That story's so freaking cute I'm so glad I found it out.

I know my happiness depends TOO MUCH on fictional characters and stories, but that's cause my reality just cooperates with my vision of life as something pointless.

I'll update this post eventually when I lose one of my reasons or when I find a new one. I'll probably start listing my reasons to give up along with the items I delete from the list above but not right now.

OKAYYYY...

I said I was going to start listing the reasons to give up here as well. I know is not positive at all, or whatever, but I feel like doing it, so here we go:

White Angels Have No Rest ended and it was a good end for me, but it's still over, so... yep, it's a lost item for the list above. I had fun translating it tho.

I'm supposed to get my diploma this year and I'm not entirely sure what I'll do with my life afterwards since I certainly don't wanna follow this carrer path professionally anymore.

I'll eventually have to confront my parents on me being bisexual and I'm dreading it cause it's definitely gonna get ugly.

I finished Muted and everything turned out fine in the end, but I don't have money to afford new content.

THE FACT THAT I CAN'T PLAY LOVESTRUCK ANYMORE HURTS ME MORE THAN WORDS CAN DESCRIBE.

I'LL NEVER GET A RUELLE ROUTE 😭

Also, I'll probably never get over missing Storyscape and Originals either.

[kristallioness]

2016 | 2017 | 2018

*quietly sneaks back in*... Happy New THIS Year, my dear followers! In Estonia, we have this saying that if you wish someone a 'happy new year' after Three Kings' Day (the 6th of January), you gotta have a bottle of alcohol with you and give them a drink. *lol*

Anyways, I would like to apologize for the sudden disappearance that happened prior to Christmas. I was just busy travelling back home for the holidays, unpacking and putting away my stuff, watching some great, traditional movies or shows on TV, and most importantly, working on those 2 latest masterpieces that I posted (which barely got 30 notes each.. *sigh*).

But as you can (and probably will) see, the year of the yellow earth pig (i.e. my dad's year) was a rollercoaster of emotions and accomplishments, or lacking thereof.

My creative side seems to have suffered the most due to lack of leisure time. I only managed to finish 3 full digital drawings and left behind several sketches or unfinished WIPs (2 of which are revealed here under the months of June and November for the first time, I intend to finish the Korrasami one btw). At least I got to start 2020 with a completed drawing on the very 1st day, ha-ha! Perhaps that's a good omen for this year?

If so, then I hope I'll find the time to finish the rest of the 2019 Inktober prompts, since I only did 4/31 this past October (even though I'd thought of ideas for all of them). I brought all the necessary drawing utensils and sheets of paper with me, so whenever I'm in the mood, I'll try to sketch another one.

*calculates for the nth time*.. I wrote 18,110 words worth of fanfiction, plus 820 words for the UYLD prompts (making the total 18,930). Technically, you can count another 8k+ in there, since it comes from that unfinished story (of Aang taking care of a flu-ridden Katara, as illustrated by the September sketch), which I haven't finished within the last 4 months or so. Plus, I barely wrote 1/5 of the amount compared to 2018.. *hides in shame*

Then again, I was an excellent pupil for picking up an actual book and reading through 150+ pages (which means I have ~300 pages to go). I'm talking about the new Kyoshi novel that came out. As I once said, I haven't voluntarily read a book in years make that 2 years ago (most of the reading I've done in my life is either Tom & Jerry comics, now the Avatar comic trilogies and art books as well as fanfiction online, or compulsory reading during school). But this novel is freaking fantastic superb!

Not only that, I bought all the new comic trilogies and managed to read them through. Damn, did they give me feels.. especially "Ruins of the Empire" (ngl I squeed so hard when I saw the Korrasami farewell kiss on the 1st page of the 2nd part). I can't wait to read the 3rd part this year!

However, I failed to rewatch Avatar last year, and I haven't seen Korra since.. 2016, I believe? Wow, that's 4 whole years.. But I intend to fix that mistake starting from 2020. Hopefully I'm in the mood to start my rewatch this weekend tonight. *fingers crossed*

But as I said, I had much less time to focus on my hobbies since 2019 was the year for finally moving on with my life (sort of, I'm still working on it). I still remember how down I'd been feeling for a while and how valid those emotions really were. The first quarter of the year (+ like a month or two) was a continuous descent into desperation and feelings of utter failure, which already started around the 2nd half of 2018 and only continued to deepen around that time.

Everything began to change when I was first chosen to be part of a 2-month summer internship in an IT company, and I had to start building a new nest in a new location in Tallinn this May. And now, I feel like I've hit the jackpot by getting a permanent job in another IT company this October.

I got the opportunity to work in two different fields, in two different teams within a year. I met some awesome colleagues (a lot of whom are foreigners) and got the chance to really put my English skills to the test.

Thanks to the new job, I also had to go to a free health check, which went really-really well. Despite my nervousness in the beginning, I feel much more relaxed about my physical (and mental) health, cause the results showed that everything's okay (something I'd been worried about since March 2017).

Speaking of health or staying healthy, there were a few sports events that I went to, too. Our team held the first winter team event (it was the first one for me, at least) by going to do archery in a range on the outskirts of the capital.

I watched the football match between 2 teams of our local league at my hometown together with my dad on his birthday. Our home team won the match and came in 4th place overall in the league this year, which is their best result so far (I'm really proud!). And merely days before I started work, I visited the Tallinn International Horse Show for the first time (also with my dad). I last got to watch horses jump over fences or dance to their musical programs ~ 10 years ago, and I loved it!

Event-wise 2019 was pretty full of them. As has become tradition, I went to the Defence Forces parade on our 101st Independence Day (which seemed rather bleak compared to the centennial, even more so since we didn't have ANY snow at the time).

What will hopefully become new traditions, I visited the television tower on the Restoration of Independence Day (where Uku Suviste gave a free concert in the evening), and went to the Veteran's Rock concert (to honour our war veterans) on our Freedom Square on the 23rd of April (since I'm residing in the capital now, I should be able to go again this year).

To continue with the centennial celebrations (yes, some things are STILL turning 100), I saw and explored inside the armoured train no. 7 called "Wabadus" ("Freedom") in the Baltic Station. This armoured train was one of the keys that led our country to victory during the War of Independence from 1918-1920.

There was an even bigger (150th) anniversary to celebrate in the beginning of July, when I attended our Song and Dance Festival. This was a really important, if not the biggest event of the year. I intend to make a longer post about my experience, cause it's something that you foreigners need to see for yourself. I can't simply describe or put it into words, I have to show you some videos and photos.

But while we're on the topic of concerts, I should mention that I went to 2 more at the beginning of June - Bon Jovi and Sting - as well as 2 that were part of Christmas tours in December - Elina Nechayeva and Rolf Roosalu.

Besides that, I went to 6 different festivals, half of which I'd been to several times before, such as the Türi Flower Fair, Jäneda Farm Days (where I went on my first helicopter ride for my 25th birthday present) and the Christmas market in the Old Town of Tallinn.

The other half is comprised of festivals that I'd been considering going to for a while, or which took place for the first time. The latter applies to the Black Food Festival, whereas the "Valgus Kõnnib" ("Wandering Lights") and the duck rally, both of which took place in Kadriorg, fall under the first category.

The duck rally is a charity event held in the beginning of June. Regular people can buy at least one (or several) rubber bath duckies for different prices, which will then be dumped into a tiny stream that'll carry them towards the finish line. This event has grown more popular each year, and the money the Estonian Association of Parents of Children with Cancer (sorry, long name in English!) collects is donated to the Cancer Treatment Fund.

*wipes forehead*.. Phew! I'm surprised, that's a whole lotta positivity for 2019. I think there's one more important, but seriously negative topic I haven't covered yet, but I feel should be mentioned and explained.

When it comes to politics, 2019 was a complete disaster for us. EKRE (Eesti Konservatiivne Rahvaerakond in Estonian, or Estonia's Conservative People's Party in English) i.e. our populist/nazi/pro-Trump party is in the government as of April 2019, thanks to 100,000+ idiots (out of our population of 1.3 million) who voted for them and gave them 19/101 seats in the Parliament.

No, I am NOT going to apologize for calling them a nazi party, because their main leaders have repeatedly supported ideology that's common to nazis (they use aggressive rhetoric, blame the media for making them look bad, downgrade women, minorities, are racist, anti-semitic etc...). And I will not apologize in front of the people who voted for them, because "thanks" to this, EKRE has dragged our country's reputation straight through a mud puddle (not to mention the scandals that have accompanied 5 of their ministers, 3 of who have THANKFULLY stepped down from their positions) and.. *swears like the British*.. it's BLOODY EMBARRASSING.

I am done being nice, I have at least some kind of prejudice about anyone who supports them or their ideals. And I will certainly not let Estonia end up like America. So that is why I participated in two protest events against EKRE and our current government (because the 2 other parties, who were willing to form the coalition with them, are spineless jellyfish that simply seek to hold onto their current positions of power). I'm willing to take bets as to when our government falls (the sooner the better).

*shakes off the frustration*.. Brrr! So besides that, I guess the only downside to 2019 was my spare time falling back in the list of priorities (which shows in the empty square of July).

2020 is gonna be the year of the white metal rat. I can only hope (and take action so) that it'll be just as eventful, and much more creative than 2019. Thank you all for following me (or lurking anonymously) for so long, especially to the bloggers who've offered me support through better or worse! *raises a glass* Here's to 2020!.. *sip*