#everything hits different when it’s 2 am ig

[danahart]

i make a joke about wanting to suck him dry ONCE and now i’ve written smut about him and can’t move on from him 🤧 live laugh love oscar piastri ig

(might need the real thing for safety measures)

[xotrashratxo]

Nerdy Prudes Must Die Quotebook

Comment any I missed LMAO

⚠️NERDY PRUDES MUST DIE SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT⚠️

“I am only ONE MAN’s girl, and that man is JESUS CHRIST.” Grace Chastity

“SHUT UUUUUUPPPP.” Max Jagerman *Audience cackles* 

“THE ANSWER IS STILL NO….. by the way.” Max Jagerman

“RAAH” Max Jagerman and Grace Chastity

“the fucking BOW TIE KID???” Brenda the Cheerleader

“I know he’s RICH. But money isn’t everything! Looks are. “ Stacy the Cheerleader

“WAIFU MATERIAL” Richie Lipchitz

“SHE’S TOUCHING MEEE!! LUCKYYYY!” Ruth Fleming and Richie Lipchitz

“Woooow…. These toilets aren’t even in stalls! It’s better than I ever imagined!” Ruth Fleming

“Thats some cooool kid privilege right there.” Ruth Fleming OR Richie Lipchitz

“DESTROY HIM.” Grace Chastity

“God you suck, Grace.” Stephanie Lauter

“He’s made ALL OUR LIVES a living HECK.” Grace Chastity

“The most terrifying, HOTTEST bully in Hatchetfield” Grace Chastity

“BE COOL BEANS, KEEP THE BEANS COOL.” Grace Chastity

“We’ll fight sin with sin! Let the games begin!” ‘Nerdy Prudes’

“AM I READING AS GHOST OR LIN MANUEL MIRANDA” Peter Spankofvski

“YOU’RE FUCKING USLESS PETE.” (SO MANY PAUL REFERENCES.) Richie Lipchitz

“Ugh I gotta piss….” Max Jagerman

“Oh SHIT, where’s that creepy music coming from?” Max Jagerman

“Oh shit oh fuck it’s a fucking ghost!!!” Max Jagerman

“He thinks it’s real he’s just really fucking BRAVE.” Richie Lipchitz

“BOO HOO BITCH.” Max Jagerman

“I MAKE THE DEAD RUN IN FEAR! I AM GOD GOOOOO NIGHTHAWKS!” Max Jagerman

“Oh shit oh fuck I didn’t think there’d be a skele’in HERE!” Max Jagerman

“WOW… I uh… I thought you guys hated me. But uh, thanks! This was really great! No no no, this is the nicest thing anyone’s done for me!” Max Jagerman

“That was really special.” *bows* Max Jagerman

“And with MY luck, no one will even BOTHER making me their BITCH.” Ruth Fleming

“It was an act of god!” Grace Chastity

“Oh no she’s snapping again!” Richie Lipchitz

“Oh my asthmas back…” Richie Lipchitz

“I just cut off his nips.” Ruth Fleming FORESHADOWING??? 

“Steph, you can keep it. It would bring down my GPA.” Peter Spankofvski

“I’m tryna feel bad but it’s hard when everything is objectively better.” Peter Spankofvski

“Never thought I could open my locker without the fear running through me.” Richie Lipchitz

“N-IG-HT-AWE AWE- ks!” Everyone

“FUCK clivesdale.” Everyone, repeatedly. 

“FUCK YOU CLIVESDALE WE’LL KILL YOU!” Cheerleaders and Jocks

“Zeke! The fighting nighthawk!” Jason the Football player

“We support and love you, but you fuckin’ stink man!” Jason the Football player

“FUCK CLIVESDALE! FUCK EM STRAIGHT TO HELL!” Richie Lipchitz

“I love being alive!” Richie Lipchitz

“YA BITCH.” Max Jagerman

“Of course not! But you’ve lost everything.” Max Jagerman HIT SO HARD 

“Mama I’m cured!” Grace Chastity

“HWAELL they didn’t say!” Mark Chastity

“Alright ima need the 3 of you to shut the FUDGE up about Max Jagerman.” Grace Chastity

“SHUT. THE FUCK UP. RUTHY.” Stephanie Lauter

“People tell me to die everyday!” Ruth Fleming

“Don’t be ridiculous! Wait-“ Grace Chastity

“DAN!” Angry Adult Mob

“Suddenly the show is real upsetting!” Angry Adult Mob

“Fuckin’ transcendent…..!” Cop Corey

“I wanna remember who I YAAAMmmm…” Trevor, who’s only other credit is Barbecue Monologues Man 2 

“I turned 40 today.” *pours alcohol* Ruth Fleming in Barbecue Monologues

“Oh shit not Clivesdale!” Officer Shapiro

*heavy breathing* “…… thank you.” Peter Spankofvski

“MY DAD sells WOMEN’S SHOES.” Peter Spankofvski

“Dork at the beany’s counter has more balls than you.” Stephanie Lauter

“LEAVE ROOM FOR JESUS” Grace Chastity

“She’s bisexual and dead, where else could she be?” Grace Chastity, also GRACE DONT CALL ME OUT

“I’ve done horrible things! Like touching myself and lying to the police! I called god a son of a b word! Who am iiiiii…..” Grace Chastity

“Don’t comfort her, she’s fucking weird.” Stephanie Lauter

“KYUK KYUK KAH FUCK.” Max Jagerman

“I beg to differ, BITCH.” Max Jagerman

“I’ve got a gun.” Stephanie Lauter

“Are you a woman of god?” “Catholic.” “I’ll take that as a no.” Grace Chastity and Officer Shapiro (as a Catholic this is hilarious.) 

“I have no idea what I’m doing.” Peter Spankofvski (Me too Peter, me too.)

“My phone!” Stephanie Lauter

“WE DONT GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOUR PHONE.” The Lords in Black

“Or fuck off!” The Lords in Black

“It’s you Steph. I’m into you.” Peter Spankofvski (IM CRYINGGGG)

“I just took a bullet for you bro!” Max Jagerman

“SO YOU DO KNOW THE BIBLE?” Grace Chastity

“But Jesus never threw a football like you Max.” Grace Chastity

“SHUT YOUR MOUTH HOLE SPANKOVSKI. I wanna hear this.” Max Jagerman

“FUCK. YEAH.” Max Jagerman

“GASP. That’s NASTY. I like it.” Max Jagerman

“WHAT. THE FUCK. IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW.” Stephanie Lauter (That’s so me, Steph.)

“GRACE IS HAVING SEX WITH A FUCKING GHOST!” Peter Spankofvski

“I paid the price. Now fuck off!” *Spins* Grace Chastity

“WHAT ARE YOUUU-“ Max Jagerman

“You’re in my world now. Bitch.” One of the Lords in Black (Pokey I think???) 

“I…. Am gonna get some fucking coffee.” Officer Shapiro

“Did you guys know JASON goes to my CHURCH?” Grace Chastity

Total quotes: 85

[thesupreme316]

Hi, I was if you could write about Nick Wayne x Reader when reader is Nick Wayne Girlfriend maybe they have a kid and she and his kid are watching his AEW debut but then during the match Swerve Strickland gets in Reader face and intimidates her and Nick Wayne goes after Swerve for getting all in his girlfriend face and then gets all in Nick Wayne kids face as well? you can shorten this

We're Okay (Nick Wayne x Fem!Reader):

Word Count: 750

Supreme Speaks: thanks to @sunrise28sblog for requesting this and i'm so sorry that I didn't answer sooner (time is so random with me). also it's a little shorter than what i wanted but it flows better to me. i did not realize how behind I am on requests so imma try to upload twice daily. again, so sorry about that.

Warnings: cursing around a child, nothing else ig

Taglist: @sunrise28sblog @hooks-martin

Imma do a headcanon

You have always been supportive of Nick’s career choice as you’ve been dating for a while

At first, when you first met Nick, you didn't understand the appeal of wrestling and how serious for him

After getting to learn the different moves and how deep it runs in Nick's family, you grew to understand and love the sport

So when you and your son have the chance, you go to see him wrestle, you take it

Your son finds it so cool that his dad is a wrestler

To the point that he tries to bodyslam his pillow or tries to chokeslam his stuffed animals and your boyfriend

Even though you weren’t a wrestler, you were just as they come

You don't tolerate bullshit, you don’t take stupidity lightly, and you don’t get scared at anything

So you were able to get front-row seats as you really wanted to make sure Nick knows that his family supports him on his Rampage debut

He and Darby Allin were facing Swerve Strickland, one of his ultimate rivals, and Brian Cage

You and your son were cheering as loud as you could for your boyfriend as he made his way to you

He hugged the both of you before he gave you a kiss and his son a kiss on the forehead

You waved to Darby as they entered the ring

The match started with Darby and Nick having the upper hand until Brian just completely wrecked them

You flinched as Nick’s body hit the ground repeatedly as Brian tagged in Swerve

Strike 1

Swerve gave him a roundhouse kick with a smile before leaving the ring, walking in your direction

He walked up to your son, mocking him “Your dad’s a bum! He’s a bum!” Out of fear and intimidation, your son started to cry.

Strike 2

You pulled your son behind you, creating distance.

You cut your eyes at the man staSwerve darkly smiled at you, as he said “You’re dating a bum ass, broke ass, punk ass-“

Strike 3

You didn’t even allow him to finish as you delivered a slap to his face, making him fall to the floor

The crowd cheered as he looked up in shock. Nick got out of the ring and tackled Swerve while he was still on the ground

You cheered as Nick was throwing punches left and right; eventually throwing Swerve back into the ring

He quickly wobbled over to you and yalls son

“Are you okay?”

“We’re okay; go finish your match, baby.”

You just held your son and gave him juice as he quietly wiped his tears

Nick got back into the ring before the count of ten and it seemed like that one incident fired Nick up for the rest of the match as he needed both the ref and Darby to hold him back from injuring Swerve

A couple of more minutes went by before the bell rung and Darby and Nick held their hands up in victory. Your son was back to his bubbly self as he saw his dad stand tall and mighty.

At the end of the night, as he is driving with you in the front seat and your son is fast asleep in the back, you could see that he was still pissed, and he had every right to be

But on top, you knew he was deep in thought and was reflecting on what happened earlier

“Babe, everything is okay. We’re okay.”

“That bastard shouldn’t have been near you, let alone say those things in front of our son. What kind of man am I that I allowed-”

“Nick, stop. You don't control him, he was just trying to throw you off. And he didn’t scare me. Again, me and (Your/Son’s/Name) are fine. We know that those things aren’t true. You are a great father and significant other, I don’t care what Swerve says. I know the true you and I’m proud of you.”

Nick smiled as there were tears on the brims of his eyes, "You know, that was a great slap."

Giggling, you said, "Thanks. My hand kind of hurts from it still."

He chuckled, "Maybe you should join wrestling."

"Yeah, no. I'll leave that to you."

“I love you so much. I love our family so much.”

You leaned over the console and gave your boyfriend a kiss on his cheek as he continued to drive

“And we love you. I love you so much, Nick Wayne.”

[lucksdraw]

heyy all ♥ name's lola, here presenting 1/2 of the #601 unit, kim minhyun — probably the worst person to be against when you're playing dodgeball because you will lose, but also someone with an extremely... well. non-flashy, boring power. i haven't been present for the original run of astonish but i've heard only good stuff about it so i am beyond excited to be here. you can read his profile here and a general background here, under the cut i will present more of trivia ♥

his power... basically this whole video. "luck is not a superpower" and doesn't really get you on the front-line of superism rankings, so he's just minding his business trying to survive in a world of heroes and villains. at least when the city is falling apart a-la avengers style, he's gonna come out unscathed? but overall, couldn't really give less about it all, or the glitz and glamour that comes with being a hero. sometimes will even cheer on a villain :/ also aeternal training academies are LAME!

a bit bitter, when you take all things into consideration. like, he could have been spitting fire or having a pair of wings he can fly with, but he's stuck with just being lucky? some people don't even believe him when he says it.... damn... also a bit guilt ridden but that's level 10 friendship unlock x

despite his lucky powers, his whole life is unlucky. as seen in the background preview, not the best upbringing, rough childhood, mild #mommy_issues

on other hand, thanks to his lucky powers, he's very chilled out, laid back, carefree, doesn't care, etcetera; he knows that things will work out for him one way or another. says he doesn't care about others either and is flying solo, but as much as he says he doesn't care, he will end up helping, regardless of how messy of a situation you've got yourself in? you two just met but you need a place to stay at for whatever reason? well. come over ig...

not opposed to doing some illegal stuff. the depth of this will remain redacted for his own good

like sure, he's never gotten the best grades or anything... but if he wanted to, he could take his chance at the slot machine and hit the #jackpot. but it would probably get #cancelled, since he is a registered metahuman after all

works as a snacks attendant @ gg. spends time after shift gaming until his eyes are red. plays league like, #religiously, has an edgy u/n; something like... HER VOICE RESIDES (who gets the reference? mwah..) and plays smth edgy like kayn or zed. GM rank... the whole world is falling apart outside but he's still gaming and climbing the ranks #grind_never_stops

also... does not know anything about any thefts at all. will know if you lend him some money though wink wink!

he's consented to be prodded and to sharing his biomedical data <3 everything for cheaper rent

most of the complaints about him are regarding loud music (he makes up for like 60% of simon dominic's streams) , noises past midnight, or breaking into the building (because he forgot his keys!!), or he's asked someone for some coins so he can wash his clothes @ the laundromat for like the tenth time in row. also, if he's not at work you can almost always see him moping around the building complex and he's recognized by wearing his iconic "fish love me women fear me", "my tummy hurts", "human by chance alpha by choice" and shirts alike. no, he will not reveal where he gets them. it's his personal gold mine

probably biggest fan of minions alive. would adopt a minion if they were real. like, holy shit he loves minions.

depending on who asks, down for some sprinkle sprinkle brownies x

for plot bunnies... given minhyun's character, literally anything goes. he's a bit of a #loser so not too much on romantic aspect... but friends, enemies (different opinions re: aeternals/the academy/blockers), someone who's caught him breaking into a store and is blackmailing!!, fellow gamers, they're party animals together or partners in crime,,. literally anything goes lets brainstorm in ims!!!

anyway. minhyun tweets!!!

[olderthannetfic]

I don't agree with anon who suggested removing comments from AO3, but I do kinda wonder what an AO3 without a kudos button would look like. To the best of my knowledge, LJ had no kudos/like equivalent, and I've always wondered if the interaction culture was influenced by the lack of a "show your appreciation" feature that was both quick and, more importantly, impersonal. I understand that for many readers, kudos is the only way they feel comfortable leaving feedback, but I've always viewed it as a little bit too close to the "consume and move on" culture of IG and Twitter.

On a related note, in a discussion about why people do or don't comment on AO3 fics, many people said something to the tune of "I don't want to break the flow by stopping to comment when I'm binge-reading fic". And I get that, but at the same time the concept of binge-reading fic after fic, like scrolling down an Instagram feed, and only leaving a like as a sign of your passage there, makes me a little sad.

Since you were involved with AO3 early on, I'm also curious what went into the Kudos button and why.

--

You know, I honestly don't remember the conversations around the kudos button. I suspect they happened more among the tech people doing the actual design and programming and less amongst the content policy people where I was.

That said, I think the view of LJ that most Olds have is far too rosy:

The big difference wasn't kudos: it was hit counters.

Kudos-only types were probably lurking, but they didn't show up because there was no like button and no count of how many non-commenters happened by. Actual attempts to figure out rates of feedback showed they were terrible just like they were terrible in the zine days and just like they're terrible now... at least in the minds of authors.

The too anxious to X crowd still existed in the past. They just either never found fandom in the first place because you needed to know someone in order to gain access to zines or a mailing list or they lurked and got locked out of all the locked fic posts on LJ.

The people who get shittons of interaction are the ones with free time to respond a lot and who seem to be inviting interaction. I've had some bitchy assholes whine that they're not popular on tumblr while I am, but 1. it took years and 2. well, see above.

On LJ, the people who got a lot of interaction were writing juggernaut ships in fandoms at the height of their popularity. They often also had meta posts that directly invited responses in between their fic posts. And the fic posts may have had author's notes that invited conversation too.

In 2022, the fic authors who I see getting tons of interaction have a CuriousCat or similar that they link to on their fics and seem to be parked on Twitter all day, responding to fans and inviting more interaction. They are writing juggernaut ships in fandoms at the height of their popularity.

If I look at Fanfiction.net (which had literal millions of users at points where "all of fandom" in a LJ sense was pretty small), I see a lot more commonalities with AO3. Certain very skilled authors have fans falling over themselves to make friends. Certain small fandoms or ships have a dedicated fanbase that comments on everything, and it's the same 6 people, but they're very enthusiastic. Old, dead fandoms or unpopular topics don't get a lot of interaction. Hits are very high compared to feedback of any kind.

You avoid binge readers by sharing your fic in private with your tiny fandom of super committed people. On big, public archives, it has always been the norm. Hell, in zine times, someone with the money for a lot of zines could still be like this. There was just less to read overall.

As an author, I don't like being treated as disposable, but one has to keep in mind how many times one has had a profound reaction to fiction and shared that reaction with friends or with no one.

I don't think the bingers are necessarily seeing me as disposable even if they don't comment.

[cyncerity]

NO ONE ASKED FOR THIS BUT HERE IT IS ANYWAY

Ok so Store Shifter AU this takes place after Dream is semi-comfortable growing back to human size and he’s met Karl and Q and he knows Sapnap and Tommy are shifters. Yes that is all important for context in this story.

This started with me wanting to write fluffy Disc Duo noms and it became so much longer I apologize but my love of writing dialogue cannot be held down

tw: soft, safe vore, injuries (nothing graphic but people get hurt), intrusive thoughts ig?

it’s past 2 am i just really wanted to finish this

Something was wrong. Something was very wrong.

Dream was still getting used to a few things now that he knew he was a shifter. Nothing too unbearable, it had been a little while since he had learned properly what he was and how to deal with it all, but some things were definitely harder than others. As far as he was concerned, he still grew a few inches every time someone startled him a bit. But this was…different.

It had started with the weird smells in the store. Like someone had lit a giant candle that smelled like the best thing he could imagine. Then it started to get weirder. The smell would almost shift slightly depending on where he was, maybe being sweeter or spicier or more sour. Then he noticed it only changed when he was around different people. At first he thought maybe it was a coincidence and people were just using a new deodorant or something, but why was it so weirdly strong? Why did it make him feel weird? What was wrong with him??

He made another horrifying discovery later while talking to Punz. They were just restocking in the back, talking as usual when Dream once again took note of how his friend smelled. He smelled like that unidentifiable aroma that had filled the store, mixed with some sort of vanilla or tea. It was heavenly. Dream made the horrifying discovery that he was practically drooling at the scent. Punz didn’t just smell good, no…he smelled appetizing.

It only got worse as he managed to subconsciously pinpoint a scent to every one of his friends, and he soon realized that the unidentifiable good smell was just humans in general. Every time the store opened the air would fill with the scent, and Dream started wearing a face mask just in case he ever forgot to swallow back down the drool that had built up. It was getting increasingly harder to deal with, to say the least.

He hit a breaking point during his lunch break only a few days later. He went to the staff room, heating his shitty microwave burrito and taking a bite only to spit it back out seconds later. It was absolutely disgusting, to the point where he couldn’t even stand eating it. So, he tried something else in the communal fridge. Tasted like dog shit. Another thing, same result. He was starving, why did everything taste awful? What was he going to do? Why was the only appealing thing people? No way he would ever…

He shut that thought down as quickly as it came up. No, that was stupid to think about, just…no. That could never happen, he wouldn’t go that far, ever. But, there was only one person who might know how to actually help him. He hated to bug him on his day off, but at least he knew he was still in the store.

He went over to his personal cubby and reached for the little box he had hidden taped in the top corner of the locker. He sent a quick text to Foolish that he’d be out for a bit and to run the shop while he was away before pulling his borrower clothes out of the box.

He was pretty sure he remembered where Ni- Sapnap’s base was, it shouldnt be too far.

***

“No man, I’m telling you, you gotta eat someone.”

“No! That’s…no, absolutely not! You cannot be serious, there has to be another way!!” Dream cried, hands pulling back his hair roughly as he tried to process what Sapnap was saying. He paced across the floor of the “living room,” really just the biggest room Sapnap and his fiancés had carved out (he wondered how they had even done that to begin with but this really wasn’t the time to ask) where they kept actual chairs and most of their chests and clothes. Sapnap just shrugged from where he was seated on one of the makeshift chairs, idly fiddling with the multicolored braid he wore around his own waist that Dream now knew represented his relationship with Quackity and Karl.

“What will happen if I don’t? It’ll just go away…right?” “I wish.” Sapnap responded, dejectedly dropping the braid back down to where it hung at his side. “Take it from someone who waited too long. Bad shit happens.” “What kinda bad shit?” Dream asked quietly, sitting next to Sapnap. The other shifter sighed as he continued, making a point not to make eye contact. “This was a few years ago, only a short while after I shifted for the first time. About as long as it’s been for you, actually. I started to feel…restless. I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t be around people, it was bad. But, I thought I could take it. Just, ride it out, y’know? But…I snapped. I didn’t have many people I cared about left after…” he went silent. Dream figured he hadn’t meant to add that bit, and he could only assume he was about to talk about whatever had unlocked his shifter instinct.

“…you don’t have to talk about it.” Dream muttered, placing a hand on Sapnap’s shoulder. Sapnap just sighed and patted his hand in response. “I know, it’s just…still hurts, yknow? Even after all this. My dads, they…it’s complicated. Long story short, my relationship with my dads after I became a shifter was…strained, to say the least. Didn’t help that one day after the incident my biological dad took me out for a walk to try and get closer with me again and a hawk attacked us. I…I lost control. I vaguely remember shifting, not even to a full human size, only a few feet tall, just big enough to eat him. I remember fighting my father out of that damn things claws, but I didn’t stop there. Some instinct in me didn’t think he was safe yet, so…” his breath hitched, but he took a deep breath in and out and continued on anyway.

“So, I swallowed him. I was completely out of it, just growling and hissing, I don’t even remember if that bird survived the encounter or not, I just remember coming back and feeling thrashing in my stomach, hearing my dad sobbing, begging for his life, begging me to let him live. It…I hate to be dramatic, but I think it was just as scary for me as it was for him. It hurts to hear someone you love think you’re gonna kill them. It…yeah, it sucked. I spit him out and ran. I took Quackity and Karl and never went back.” “How is your dad now? Is he doing better with…the whole shifting thing?” Sapnap just laughed sadly in response. “Fuck if I know. When I said I never went back, I meant it. The last time I ever saw him was right after I spat him out, never again since.” “That’s…that’s horrible. Do you even know where he is?” “No, but I don’t think I need to. The look of disgust on his face when he saw me shift for that first time was enough, I don’t need to see what he thinks of me now that I literally ate him alive, even if it was a while ago.”

“…I think you should try and make up with him, if you ever see him again. He’s your dad, i’m sure he’s forgiven you.” ‘I’m sure he still loves you’ goes unsaid, but Dream is sure Sapnap knew what he meant. “Your perception on what is forgivable by borrower standards may be a little skewed, since you’re a human born shifter. As far as he probably thinks, I tried to actually eat him. That’s one of the top things borrowers live in fear of; being eaten.” “Right…” he trailed off. They sat in silence for a moment before Dream decided to change the conversation to something that he really didn’t want to bring up but probably should.

“This may be a bit of an odd question, and this is really awkward, but I really don’t know who else-” “Yeah, you can eat me.” Sapnap interrupted, a smug look on his face that showed he knew exactly where that comment was going. “Just, you should know that it’s a protective instinct. Some weird fucked up mix of a predator drive and a nesting phase, but you’re gonna be most inclined to do it when people you love are in danger.” “So what are you saying?” “I’m saying that eating me will make your instincts die down a little, enough that you’ll probably at least be able to eat normal food again, but it won’t work fully. And, I love you man, but you don’t know me that well, all things considered. I’m not part of what your brain considers to be your ‘pack.’” “So what do I do?? If you’re not part of my ‘pack’ or whatever the fuck, who else can I…I don’t even wanna fucking say it, but you know what I mean. I know Karl and Quackity even less, and you’re the only borrowers I know at all! There’s literally no member of my pack as small as you…er, us, right now, I guess.” “Oh, Dream…” Sapnap just trailed off, looking worried. Dreams eyes widened. “Don’t ‘oh, Dream’ me, what are you about to say, what did I say, what’s wrong?”

“Shifting isn’t just about going back and forth between borrower and human size. You’d probably…I mean, more than likely..do what I did. Grow.” “What do you mean…?” Dream asked quietly, almost afraid to hear the answer. Sapnap stared off, trying to ignore the fear in Dream’s voice. “I mean grow. Giant. Bigger than human size. Big enough to..to swallow another human. It’s possible, i’ve done it. Not swallowed a human, I mean, just grown bigger than human size. And once you do it once, it becomes easier for that to be a default. Believe me, growing bigger by accident can be a real pain in the ass.” Sapnap finished, and Dream just slowly took it all in. Great, just fucking perfect. So he could be giant, too, not just tiny, why the fuck not? And he could possibly, maybe, accidentally just eat one of his employees or customers. Fucking fantastic. “…ok, great.” Was all he could think to respond with. What else could he say? Every fucking day he was just being reminded more and more that he could never go back to the life he had. He could never be human again, and he hated it. Sapnap seemed to sense this, and just rested a hand on Dream’s shoulder to comfort him. Dream couldn’t do much else other than lean into it.

***

Dream decided to go back to work after using his lunch break to talk to Sapnap, which in hindsight probably wasn’t the best decision. Sapnap had told told Dream that they could both take the day off tomorrow so he could guide Dream through how to…eat him (and god did it feel wrong for him to be thinking of that), since he had promised his fiancés he’d help them borrow some heavier supplies that day, and he was the strongest of the three. But Dream didn’t have much else to do other than go back to his job, so that’s what he did, despite not really wanting to be around people at the moment. He was distracted and distant as he went through his checklists, helped customers, and did other menial manager tasks.

It all really started to go wrong when he agreed to help Foolish grab something from a higher shelf in the back.

Really, he should have been paying more attention. All he had to do was hold the damn ladder steady as Foolish grabbed a heavier supply box. But his mind was somewhere else, clouded and distracted, distantly more focused on the revelation that Foolish smelled of salt water taffy and gummies than keeping the thing holding his little brother ten feet off the ground steady.

So when Foolish grabbed the crate and accidentally shifted his weight a little to far to the right when he was about halfway down the ladder, it shouldn’t have been a huge surprise that he fell, and fell hard.

Had Dream been paying more attention, maybe he could have steadied the ladder, or warned him, or maybe have even broken his fall. But as it was, Dream was fully out of it until Foolish hit the ground with a pained yelp and a thud from the crate, barely missing his shoulder. God, a few more inches and that would have crushed him.

Dream ran over to help, because shit, that was his little brother. His little brother who was groaning in pain on the floor, who was injured because of something he could have prevented, whose breathing was evening out as his consciousness faded, who was lying injured on the ground and he didn’t even know how bad the injury was and-

Dream felt something wrong. Physically wrong, not just in his head this time. Something in his gut tightened, constricting within him, sight blurring and mind unable to penetrate through the agony-filled haze. He dropped to the ground, unable to keep himself upright, desperately clutching at his middle in a feeble attempt to ease the pain, pain worse than almost anything he’d ever felt. He couldn’t even yell, everything in him was taught, tightened as far as it could be, all he could do was make pathetic squeaks with the noises he forced out of his closed up vocal chords in place of screams as he sobbed quietly on the ground. He wasn’t sure how long he laid there, clutching his gut as tears dripped down his face onto the floor, but it couldn’t have been long before something spoke out in his head, without tone or a voice, just an all encompassing urge.

‘Store him’

Dream squeezed his eyes shut, avoiding looking at his brother now lying limp on the floor. ‘Store him.’ He clutched at his head, yanking his hair, trying to give himself anything else to think about. ‘He’s hurt. He can’t get hurt if he’s in you.’ His breathing became more sporadic as something akin to a migraine started, and his clothes felt just a bit tighter. ‘You hurt him. Help him. Store him. You want to.’ Dream cracked an eye open only to come to the horrifying realization that he was bigger than he’d been a few seconds ago. ‘I want to.’ Dream tried to ignore the all encompassing emptiness he felt within him. ‘I don’t want him to hurt. I’ll help him. He’ll be safe within me. I love him.’ Dream hated that the instinct in his mind had shifted it’s point of view. He didn’t want these thoughts. They weren’t his. He didn’t want them to be his.

The thing that snapped him out of his thoughts was the circulation in his limbs starting to be cut off. He belatedly realized that he was now much bigger than he had meant to be, not that he had meant to be big at all. He didn’t know exactly how tall he was, but Foolish looked…he looked small. Not just because of the size difference. Foolish had always been so much larger than life, ever since they were kids. Seeing him limp just felt…wrong. What he belatedly realized was that Foolish was about as tall as the length from his palm to his elbow. Still fairly tall, definitely not the size difference between a borrower and a human, but still fairly small. He remembered what Sapnap had said about the last time he’d seen his father; that he hadn’t grown to human size in order to eat him, only just big enough to swallow him down. Dream looked at himself in comparison to his brother and thought he now knew what Sapnap had meant. Like a snake and a rat, or some other larger rodent; they never looked like they could get something that big down, but somehow they managed it. Dream was horrified to realize that if he truly wanted to, right at that moment, he probably could. It wouldn’t be comfortable, and there was even a chance he would choke and pass out from lack of oxygen before he got him down, but with enough determination, he definitely, terrifyingly, could.

His body seemed to belatedly realize that his limbs were starting to turn purple from the constriction of his clothes, and now that the instict not-voices had died down a bit from the initial shock of seeing Foolish hurt, he began to shrink back down, thank god his clothes were actual an good, durable material. And thank god again that no one had walked in during all that. And while he was thinking that, thank god a third time that he was the only one with a key to the security room. It would be an absolute train wreck if anyone but him saw…whatever had just gone down here.

In the end, Dream just ended up sending an emergency notification to Punz, telling him to get to the back rooms immediately, and just left. As much as it hurt him to leave his injured brother, the instinct was still there, as it had been for days, and the pain in his gut had dulled down to a more muted but still definitely noticeable pain. He didn’t want to risk what could happen if he stayed, even if the worst seemed over with. He didn’t want to risk Foolish learning what a monster he was. He’d be better at home, alone.

***

Suffice to say, Dream wasn’t all that happy when his front door opened after he’d only been there for about twenty minutes. Maybe Foolish had stopped by? Or Punz? But did they even know he’d gone home? Maybe Sapnap…wait did Sapnap know his address? Did he even know how to use a computer well enough to look it up in the system? Maybe he’d-

All of Dream’s thoughts were cut off as he smelled something entirely new, but familiar all the same. Something sweet, but slightly sour and bitter, like strawberries that weren’t quite red and ripe. That and, oh yeah, the entirely unfamiliar scent of burned and melted flesh and peanut oil, weirdly enough.

Dream’s gut twisted painfully again as he practically tripped down the stairs from his bedroom to the living room to see Tommy standing there, dropping his bag by the door like he always did, except this time there was a noticeable section of his forearm wrapped in bandaging, but his son just stared at him with confusion. “Shouldn’t you be at wo-“ “What the hell happened to your arm?!” Dream interrupted as he ran to close the distance between them, grabbing Tommy’s arm to see what had happened, only to let go a second later when heard his son hiss in pain. “Sorry, sorry, I just…” Dream’s words trailed off as the pain in his stomach became worse and the urges started to ring out again, although softer then last time. ‘He’s hurt, I let him get hurt, I can put him somewhere he can’t get hurt again.’ And oh great, it started in the first person this time. At least they were easier to ignore. Tommy, entirely unaware of Dream’s internal conflict, just sighed. “I’m fine, big D. Had an accident with the fryer, that’s all. Just dropped the fry cage a bit too fast and some of the oil splashed on my arm. It’s not a huge deal, didn’t really bleed, barely hurts at all anymore after Wil had me pop like four Advils. It’ll probably be one hell of a nasty scar, though.” ‘I wasn’t there for him when he was hurt. I will put him somewhere where he can’t get hurt again.’ The instinct rang out, a bit louder this time, loud enough for Dream to notice the worrying shift in wording. It was minor, but he didn’t like how it had already changed from ‘I can’ to ‘I will.’ Tommy, apparently mistaking Dream’s lack of response for a prompt to continue explaining, went on. “I didn’t even think I needed to come home, really. Just, y’know, restaurant policy, I can’t exactly work with food while I have an actively…well not really bleeding, but something is certainly leaking from it. Looks gnarly as fuck, though, you should’ve seen it, big man. Anyway, the store can’t really take another hit from the health department, so here I am. Probably for the best so it doesn’t get infected, anyway. I just didn’t expect y-…um, Dream..?” Tommy cut himself off. Dream, who was only half paying attention, snapped his head back to Tommy. Or, at least, where Tommy should be. Where had he gone? And why were his clothes so tight agai- oh god damnit.

Dream looked down to see Tommy, just staring at him with a confused expression. In Dream’s panic he actually managed to shift back down on his own free will, which he’d pat himself on the back for later, but for the moment, he was a bit concerned about what Tommy had just seen. “Uh..I- uh…” “Are you ok?” Dream kind of froze at that. “What?” “Are you ok?” Tommy asked again, more firmly this time. “You’ve never accidentally shifted big before, and you’ve been kinda hunched over and pale, not to mention you smell like you’re in pain.” Now it was Dream’s turn to be confused. “..Smell...?” “It’s like…hmm…like you’re regular scent, but more…less good, that make sense? Like, not as…appetizing? Would that be a good word to use?” Dream kinda just stared, only moving to blink. “How can you even-“ “Don’t tell me you forgot I was a shifter.” And, oh, right, of course Tommy would know about all of that, he was a shifter. Dream didn’t know how he forgot that, other than he’d just assumed Tommy was human for so long that it was still weird to think he was anything else. “Right, duh. Sorry.” Dream asked, facepalming at his own stupidity. He’d chalk that one up to his instincts fucking with his brain for days on end.

“You’re also drooling a lot, y’know.” Tommy pointed out unhelpfully, making Dream’s eyes snap open as he became once again painfully aware of the emptiness in his stomach, and how much his instincts would love for the kid in front of him to fill that void. The still potent smell of his injury didn’t help quell his instincts much, either. “S-sorry, sorry, I really don’t know what’s wrong with me.” Dream lied, wiping the excess spit from his lips. “I just started to feel a bit sick, kind of an upset stomach, so I came home early.” Tommy didn’t look like he quite believed him, but he just shrugged. “Whatever you say. Though…are you sure that’s all it is? Definitely nothing else?” “Yes, I’m sure.” Dream said firmly, because what else could he say? ‘No, actually, I’m very not ok cause I almost ate Foolish earlier and now I want to eat you?’ Yeah, right, not gonna happen. Even though Dream’s stomach seemed to disagree as it made a louder-than-he-would-have-preferred gurgling sound that he quickly tried to dampen with his hand and a fake coughing fit. Tommy just kind of inspected him for a little while longer before sighing and seemingly giving up.

“…Alright then, man, I hope you feel better soon. You should probably go take a nap or something, you seem like you need it. Not to be rude, but you look like absolute shit right now.” Dream scoffed. “Yeah, I’m sure I do. A nap doesn’t sound too bad. Just, make sure to replace your bandage, its starting to get yellow. There’s a medkit and disinfectant under the bathroom counter.” Dream turned to go back up the stairs as he heard Tommy swear behind him, mostly likely cursing out the fact that he already had to change bandages and re-clean his wound. But, he’d be fine to do it by himself. The last thing Dream wanted was for his urges to become too strong and to scare his kid. So, he retired to his bedroom for the night, quickly changing into pjs and doing his best to ignore the hungry sounds coming from his gut, adamantly refusing to give in to what it wanted. Just a few more hours. A few more hours and then Sapnap could show him how to fix this.

***

Dream woke up to a weird weight on his face and some thing poking at his eye, which was honestly probably one of the worse ways to wake up. His first thought was that a rat had somehow gotten in his house as he yelled and jolted up, suddenly far more awake than he’d been seconds ago, although his mind was still clouded with sleep. The thing on his face yelled out as it practically used his face as a springboard to grab onto his hair, now that the surface it had been sitting on had gone vertical. He yelled out again as he desperately tried to grab the thing from his head, only to hear more yelling in response, and, probably more importantly, words. He let himself freeze for a moment so he could actually hear what was being said, and he finally registered his own name. “Dream! Dream!! It’s just me! Jesus fuck, calm down, let me down! It’s me!!” Dream reached over to his bedside and clicked a lamp, going cross eyed as he tried to look at the figure dangling less than an inch from his face.

“Tommy? What the fuck are you doing??” “Can you understand me?” “Huh??” “Can. You. Understand. Me.” “Uh…yeah??” “Then let me the fuck down!!” He cried, still dangling helplessly by Dream’s hair. He wasted no time in bringing his hands up under his now shrunken son, who let go of his hair almost instantly and fell into his waiting hands. “Thank fuck. I didn’t know how long it’d been since you shrunk, I was honestly just hoping for the best. It’d probably have scared you a lot more if I’d woken you up and you’d only heard squeaking.” Tommy laughed, though Dream’s brain substituted something much more sinister and worrying. ‘I could have hurt him. If I didn’t know it was him, what would I have done? I need to keep him safe.’ His stomach tightened up even worse, and he muffled the pained noise he was tempted to make. Shit, why was he in here? And why was he small?? Of all the times for him to decide to shrink and go in his room, this was definitely one of, if not the worst. And as if to prove his point, his stomach made a louder noise than earlier, but Dream chose to ignore it in favor of turning his attention back to Tommy. “What are you doing in here this late? And why are you small?? You…you really shouldn’t be in here right now.” He moved to set Tommy down on the floor next to his bed, where he couldn’t reach him, but Tommy jumped off his hands and into his lap instead. ‘It’d be so easy,’ his instincts rang even louder, ‘I wouldn’t have any trouble getting him down. Keeping him safe.’ Dream pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes. He couldn’t be thinking like this. Not with Tommy here. “I’m not leaving.” Tommy said with a resolve Dream couldn’t even imagine coming out of Tommy’s mouth. “I’m not leaving until you feel better.” Dream dropped his hands to look Tommy in the eye. “Tom, you don’t understand. You don’t know what’s going on, you have no idea what I want to do to y-“ “Let me rephrase that.” Tommy interrupted. “I’m not leaving until you eat me.”

“…What?”

“You heard me, bitch. Either you eat me or I sit here all night making your instincts worse until you snap.” He said, matter-of-factly. “But how do you…?” “Do I have to remind you again? I’m a shifter! We’re both shifters!! We both have the same shit to deal with! Only difference is I’ve been a shifter longer, so I’ve already gone through this. Which is also how I know that you really wanna eat me right now and that instincts get worse at night.” Dream was about to argue until his stomach rumbled again, and Tommy looked down to his midsection then back to look him in the eye with an expression that Dream knew meant he wasn’t gonna convince Tommy of any lie. ‘He’s been through this, and I wasn’t there to help him. He went through this pain and I did nothing. I can help him now. Store him.’ “I..I don’t want to, I can’t…” “Bullshit. It’s clear as fuckin’ day you do so just do it.” Tommy’s voice was harsh until his next sentence. “Dream, you’re hurting yourself, why won’t you let me help you?” ‘He wants it. Store him. He wants me to, and I love him. Store him.’ “Because..because…” ‘Store him. Keep him safe. Keep him safe inside yourself. I can keep him safe inside me.’ Dream put his hands back over his face, partly because he didn’t want to look at Tommy at the moment, and partly because he kinda felt like he was gonna cry and Tommy didn’t need to see that. What was there to say? What could he possibly say to make any of this feel better? He felt like a monster. What kind of fucked up person would want to eat their family? Their brother? Their son? He knew he wanted to but he couldn’t rationalize that he did. He couldn’t accept it. So how in God’s name was he supposed to explain that to Tommy?

“…would it make you feel better to know that I ate someone too? That other shifters go through this?” Tommy asked. Dream just laughed wetly in response. “Sapnap told me. He explained all of this earlier. I don’t think your story could be as bad as his was, but you can still tell it.” “Oh, mine wasn’t bad at all, actually. Tubbo agreed to it.” “What the fuck is a Tubbo?” “Oh, you don’t know him? I’ll have to introduce you two later…” Tommy finished, seemingly unsure of what else to say. “Would…would it make you feel better to know..I’ve been…eaten before?” Dream dropped his hands slowly, tears visibly staining his cheeks, but that wasn’t his main concern at the moment. “Y..You have…?” “Yeah. Practically daily, if I’m being honest. That’s how I knew it was safe for me to eat people when this shit happened to me. Cause I’d been eaten before.” Dream just looked at him for a minute in shock. His son had been…eaten before. Without him knowing. That was…certainly something, wasn’t it? ‘He’s been getting eaten yet I won’t eat him. I’ve been trusting strangers to keep him safe. It should be my turn. It’s my turn. Store him.’ Dream sniffed and wiped one of his eyes as Tommy anxiously waited for a response. His hair was pulled back for once to reveal his pointed ears that Dream rarely got to see, since Tommy constantly kept them hidden to prove he was human, like Sapnap did. He didn’t like how downturned they were. Did Tommy think he was mad? Or was that just a reasonably private thing to expose? Oh, it was probably mostly the latter, wasn’t it?

Instead of giving a responsible or normal response, Dream decided now was the perfect time to ask a probably not very important question, partially to make Tommy feel less embarrassed and partially just cause he wanted to ask and knew there were probably very few other appropriate times to do so. “…It’s not Wilbur, is it..?” Tommy’s ears immediately perked back up as he looked at Dream with a mockingly offended face. “Fuck no!” He shouted, making an exaggerated gagging noise to prove a point, making Dream laugh. “I think I’d die of second hand smoke just by being in his mouth! Its fucking gross! Man’s doesn’t need to know how much technical cannibalism goes down at his store. No, its the tall fucker, you’ve met him, he’s got hetero..hetero…I don’t fucking remember.” Tommy finished and oh, Dream couldn’t just not take that bait, it’d be sinful. He barely kept himself from laughing as he asked “…you know a hetero?” “Oh FUCK OFF!! I meant the weird eye thing, we both know he’s gay as hell!” Tommy yelled back up, though he was also smiling, and Dream couldn’t help but laugh out loud, wheezing a bit as he tried to maintain his composure. But, he did notice his tears had dried up.

“You feeling better, big man?” Tommy asked, and Dream smiled a bit more and nodded. “Then do you think we can get on with this? I’m tired, I wanna place to sleep and you’re closest.” Dream looked back down, debating for a moment before setting his hands down beside Tommy, the smaller shifter immediately taking the chance to climb on.

Dream lifted him just below eye level, Tommy sitting down to get comfortable, seemingly understanding that there was still more Dream wanted to ask. But Dream couldn’t exactly say what. So, Tommy filled in. “You want to know what I enjoy about being stored?” He asked, and Dream in that moment found he liked the term ‘stored’ far more than he liked ‘eaten’ or ‘swallowed.’ He nodded. Tommy looked down and began to wring his hands as he spoke. “Well, it’s warm, for one. It’s, like, this all encompassing warmth, cause, y’know, people are warm. But its not overbearingly hot. It’s also dark, which is to be expected, no big surprise there. I do have partial night vision, though, fun fact, so I can still see a little bit. It’s also fairly quiet, save for the noises of organs. I can clearly hear breathing and a heartbeat from in there, and, I’m not gonna lie, and you’d better never bring this up again or so help me god I will clart you, but its…its relaxing. There’s a strong, steady, unceasing rhythm, and it’s calming, in a weird sort of way. I’m in there and every just…goes on around me, like I’m not even there. It’s this weird tranquil sort of peace.” Tommy looked up at Dream, who was just looking. Not with disgust, or confusion, or judgement in any sort, but like he was trying to understand more. Tommy appreciated that. So, he went on. “I’d say the best part is…and, again, the clart thing applies here, too, but…I don’t know, its just feels…nice. It feels nice in there.” He finally settled on, face starting to heat up from embarrassment.

Like hell was he could stop there, though, something was finally getting through to his dumbass of a guardian. This was for Dream (well, mostly Dream, but himself partially since some of his pack instincts were mad that Dream was refusing to take care of himself). “It’s like…spongy and squishy and…I’m not even sure how to describe it…its kinda smooth, but its flexible most of the time..whatever, it doesn’t matter. It’s just nice. It sometimes makes noise, not that I’ve ever minded. The noises make the walls vibrate weird, which is cool. It’s almost always, like…moving. Swaying, or something. It’s weird, cause I know that the room I’m in is alive and its…” Tommy looked back up at Dream, who was still looking back at him. He continued. “Well, lets just speak hypothetically here, it’d be…you. Fully, entirely surrounded by you. And…I don’t know about you, but…but that’s a nice thought to me. I’m safe, in there. Protected, fully unavailable to the outside world. Any move you make, I feel. Every breath, every heartbeat, I hear. Only you can hear me, and I can hear practically nothing but you. It’s…I don’t know, it’s something not many people get to do. Not that normal people want to, but, hey, maybe they would if they could, who knows. But, we can. And more so, I trust you enough to do this. I’m completely at your will in there. For that time, I’m entirely yours, but I know with my whole soul that you’d never take advantage of that. Because you love me as much as I love you. And believe me, I…I love you a lot, Dad.” He finished, never breaking eye contact. He could see tears start to well in Dreams eyes, even if his face remained mostly neutral. Then he smiled, shifting Tommy to one hand as he used the other to wipe his eyes. “…ok,” he finally spoke up softly, and Tommy’s ears perked up as he waited for what he hoped Dream was going to say. “What do I need to do.”

Tommy grinned ear to ear, his ears perked up fully now. “Practically nothing, just get me to your mouth and I’ll take it from there.” Dream took a moment to process it before breathing in and out slowly, and lifting Tommy to his lips, barely opening his mouth. If this were Ranboo, Tommy would probably yell at him for not helping enough. Hell, if this were Dream doing anything else, he’d yell at him. But, he knew that this was probably difficult and very, very uncomfortable for Dream, so he decided to not be rude for once. Instead, he just pushed down on Dream’s bottom teeth, which gave way with very little pressure, and climbed inside about half way.

Dream froze. Oh god his son was in his mouth, that was so weird, fuck, this felt- His own thoughts were cut off when his stomach cramped again, worse than before, worse than it had since he’d gotten back home, but not quite as bad as with Foolish. He sucked in air through teeth gritted lightly against Tommy’s midsection, vaguely even registering that he had partially closed his mouth, as his instincts rang louder than ever before. ‘This is right. This is right. Swallow him. Store him. Keep him safe.’ “Ok, big man,” Tommy called out, voice slightly muffled from behind his cheeks, and Dream feeling the weird sensation of vibration from his voice on his tongue and hard palate. “This is gonna sound weird but I’m too dry to get down your throat like this. Hurts like a bitch if I’m not damp enough, trust me. I need you to get me, like, covered in spit.” Dream made a vague noise of confusion in response, so Tommy clarified. “I’m asking you to lick me, bitch.” Dream took a few more deep breaths as he Tommy pulled himself in fully, though he had to curl himself up a bit to fit the whole way, and Dream began to move him around his mouth, slowly and carefully so he didn’t accidentally shove him against his teeth or do something that could hurt him. Tommy, for the most part was doing his best to keep still, thankfully. Dream was already feeling weird about having someone in there, he couldn’t imagine how much worse this would get if he was moving, too.

Eventually, Tommy’s taste started to register, too, and he was admittedly shocked at how good he tasted. It was just like how he smelled; strawberries, but slightly bitter and sour, which Dream now assumed was from the pain of his injury. He remembered Tommy saying he could tell Dream was in pain from his scent, but in the moment that hadn’t fully registered in his head. Huh. He’d have to ask Tommy what he smelled like later. Thankfully, though, he didn’t taste any peanut oil or other obvious signs of the injury, so Tommy must have re-wrapped it well. Still, though, something in him screamed to just drag him down already, to make his poor injured child feel better, but he wouldn’t without the green light from Tommy. After a few more moments, he felt more than heard Tommy laugh. “I must taste pretty damn good, you’re drooling again, it’s practically flooded in here.” Dream realized he was right, and that ok, maybe there was more spit than necessary, and maybe some of it was leaking out of his mouth a bit, but that was not one of his concerns at the moment. Dream responded by shoving at Tommy lightly, pressing him into his cheek, and he could feel Tommy lightly kick out at his cheek in response, and Dream was sure that it had made some sort of visible indent in the moment. “Ok, I’m ready. You can swallow. I’ll go down headfirst, that’s easier on you. And tilt your head back. I don’t think you’ve ever swallowed anything as big as me, so you’ll definitely want gravity on your side here. Also, put your hands on your throat, one right above your clavicle and one right under your chin.” Dream made another noise of confusion. “Just trust me, do it. And swallow when you’re ready, it’s boring in here and I wanna sleep.” Dream rolled his eyes, but tilted his head back as he felt Tommy situate himself correctly. He took a few more deep breaths in and out through his nose, and, finally, swallowed.

Dreams eyes widened and it took all of his willpower not to gag as he felt what he could only presume to be Tommy’s head enter his throat. He felt his neck bulge out underneath his hand as Tommy slipped down painfully slow, and his stomach gave another painful growl. It was a tight fit, to say the least, tight enough that he could feel Tommy’s chest rising and falling clear as day in his throat, a calm rhythm that directly contradicted the near hyperventilating he was doing. Tommy’s head was almost at his other hand by the time his feet even entered the throat, and at this point Dream was almost glad he had been drooling earlier, since just swallowing over and over seemed to get him down faster, and the spit was helping. He felt the first of Tommy drop below his collarbones into his chest, and made the horrible discovery that he couldn’t breathe. He frantically swallowed him down even faster, just trying to get him out of the way as soon as possible, and he soon felt the rest of him slip into his chest as well. The second Tommy was away from his windpipe he was gasping for air, clutching at his chest where he could feel the uncomfortable weight that was Tommy moving slowly deeper into him. He placed a hand on his stomach, bracing himself for whatever it would feel like when Tommy did manage to end up there, and trailed his other finger down slowly to give himself a rough idea of where Tommy was, not that he couldn’t feel him, but the visual tracking helped a bit.Dream braced himself when his two hands met, the one tracking Tommy just above his stomach, and he tensed as he felt Tommy slip into the chamber, his stomach actually distending a bit to fit him and growing under Dream’s palm.

And all at once, he felt miraculously better.

He wasn’t sure what he was expecting, but he certainly didn’t think it would be this instantaneous. But his instincts were no longer screaming at him, instead filing him with a bone-deep relief that this was finally right, and this was where Tommy was meant to be. His stomach stopped hurting, the cramps gone now that the feeling of emptiness was replaced with heavy, living weight in the form of his son, whose natural body heat seeped into the walls around him, warming Dream from the inside. It reminded him of eating soup, except the soup was solid and alive and he could feel it’s heartbeat if he was still enough, and Tommy would never get cold. It felt…good. He hated to say it, and he’d think about the implications of it later, but it actually felt really good. He felt Tommy move from within him and, oh fuck, that was a weird feeling, but not an entirely unpleasant one. He still couldn’t help that his breath hitched and he tensed in surprise, effectively squishing Tommy between his stomach walls, which made his stomach make a whole new round of weird noises, but he felt and heard Tommy laugh it off.

“So,” Tommy said, the smug tone clear even through the walls of flesh and muscle surrounding him, “was it really that bad?” “The swallowing was, yes.” Dream replied, shuddering at the idea that he’d have to do that backwards to get Tommy out. “Yeah, sorry, big man, kinda forgot to mention that you wouldn’t be able to breathe for a while while doing that.” “Oh yeah, cause that’s not something I needed to know at all.” He responded sarcastically, finally letting his stomach muscles loosen around Tommy as he began to relax. “The rest of it…ok, you win, it wasn’t that bad.” He relented, hearing Tommy start to celebrate in him. “I told you, I told you!! Now you’re as weird as I am bitch! Get used to this, I want cuddles more often now.” He huffed, clearly proud of himself. Dream scoffed fondly, placing a hand over the slightly moving bump on his belly. “Of course, how could I deny you cuddles, that would just be evil of me, wouldn’t it.” “Yeah it fuckin’ would.” Tommy agreed, laughing lightly.

Dream began to relax further, trying to fall asleep, hand still over where he felt his son, but found that it wasn’t just Tommy moving around slightly. It was his entire stomach. He placed both hands over it and felt clear as day that it was contracting and moving without him telling it to, the gurgling less loud, but more constant than it had been. Tommy, however, didn’t seem to mind, just content to be moved wherever the muscles around him pushed him. “…Tommy? Is everything alright in there?” He asked nervously. “I’m fine.” Tommy responsed almost immediately, picking up on his guardian’s distressed tone. “Everything’s perfectly fine, your body just isn’t used to having things that aren’t food in your stomach, so it’s doing what it would be doing to help food digest faster.” “Oh my god, are y-“ “I’ll be fine, this happens every time, relax. Everything will chill out once your gut realizes I’m staying right where I’m at.”

Dream sighed in relief, as weird as that all sounded, at least Tommy was ok. He was safe, where no one but Dream could get him. And god, did that feel good. He had known Tommy before the…incident, back when the kid was just his little cousin and not his son. Before what probably unlocked his shifter traits had happened. It had taken a long while for Dream to see that sunny, optimistic little boy he’d come to love again after that. It had taken years for Tommy to open up again, even if he he wasn’t as open, and probably never would be again. That didn’t matter. He loved him anyway. Dream loved Tommy, he loved him so, so fucking much. He’d told Tommy he’d always be there for him when he adopted him, that he’d keep him safe, and he intended to keep that promise for as long as he was still breathing.

“Goodnight Tommy.” Dream said softly, laying back down and gently rubbing his stomach, which only resulted in more gurgling sounds. What Dream wasn’t expecting was the feeling of tiny hands against his stomach, rubbing along the inside of his stomach, massaging in places he never would have thought would feel good. Yet, here he was. He flopped backwards the rest of the way, hearing Tommy squeak in surprise as they both started to laugh. “I love you, sunshine.” Normally, Tommy hated when Dream pulled out that old nickname, but he didn’t seem to mind it tonight. “I love you , too, Dad.”

Bonus (as if this wasn’t long enough jfc)

Dream had somehow gotten to work late. Foolish had practically shaken him awake like a half hour before they both needed to be there, and they probably would have made it in the building on time if Dream hadn’t spent the entire car ride apologizing for letting Foolish fall five feet off a ladder the day before and get minimally concussed and bruised, with Foolish constantly interjecting that it was his own fault for his shitty balance, and it quickly turned into a lighthearted argument. Dream didn’t mark it up on either of their records, he thought arguing about the ladder incident was a good enough reason to be late. After all, he was the boss, what was he gonna do, fire himself? Foolish asked him if he wanted to grab a snack from the break room for breakfast, since they had forgotten to eat in their rush out the door. Dream went with him, but ended up declining.

“How come?” Foolish asked, mouthful of a granola bar. “Did you eat yet today?” “Nah, just not hungry, I don’t know why.” “Huh. Did you eat a big dinner?” “Uhhh…” Actually, Dream couldn’t recall eating at all the day before, and possibly even the day before that, but he didn’t exactly need to share that. “…I don’t think so, but I can’t quite remember.” “Odd.” Foolish said, turning to throw away the wrapper to his granola bar as Dream subtly lifted his shirt to see that he at least definitely at least looked full, way more full than normal. But how could he not remember eating that mu- “Oh, by the way,” Foolish said, turning his attention back to Dream. “Did you see Tommy this morning?” Dream’s eyes widened. Ooooohhhh right. Shit. Yeah, that would be why he wasn’t hungry. “Uh, he, uh…he..he’s at a friends place. Yeah, left last night to head to a sleepover. Hence why you didn’t see him this morning. He wasn’t there. He was at the sleepover. At someone else’s house that wasn’t ours.” Dream realized he should have stopped talking a while before that point, but he wasn’t exactly the best liar. He smiled genuinely as best he could, but the odd look on Foolish’s face showed that he was probably more likely grimacing. “…ok then. I’m gonna go check…something. Join me when you stop being weird.” He clapped Dream on the shoulder as he walked past him and out of the break room.

Dream waited a couple seconds after the door shut before he ran to lock it and immediately fell back onto the beanbag chair they kept in there, surprisingly not waking up Tommy, who he could now register was actually fucking snoring still. Seriously, how did he forget he was in there? “Well, it seems my help is no longer needed.” Dream heard a familiar voice come from above him, looking up to see Sapnap sitting at a vent near the ceiling, legs and tail dangling off the edge. “How could you tell?” Dream sighed. “Besides the world’s most conspicuous coverup story? I watched the cams from yesterday, you were definitely worse than I thought. I figured you’d have snapped and eaten someone by morning. Just surprised it wasn’t Foolish.” “I’ll have you know that I did not snap, I- wait how were you watching the cams??” “There are vents in there too, y’know.” Sapnap shrugged. “Karl, Q, and I watched them when we’re bored. It’s like our own personal bad reality sitcom.” “Ok, I’m gonna ignore that you just said that.” Dream mumbled, pinching the bridge of his nose before looking back at Sapnap. “My son helped me out.” “Oh right! I forgot he was a shifter.” “Yeah, I did to, and I also forgot he was in here, I guess, so now he’s stuck here until I have time to get him out.” “Good luck with that, having time to get him out and knowing how to are two very different things.” Sapnap said, standing back up. “Wait, Sap, what does that mean?” But the shifter just laughed as he waved and walked off. “See you when my shift starts!”

“…Great.” Dream said, barely audibly. He just sat rubbing circles into his stomach before he felt something stir and released the pressure. He heard Tommy yawn and felt his hands press against his stomach as he stretched his arms, making almost imperceptible indents in the skin around him. Dream decided that whatever he felt when seeing that could be pushed back and dealt with later. “Good morning sleepyhead.” Dream cooed as Tommy mumbled something incoherent, probably cursing. “…what time is it?” He eventually asked, sleep still clinging to his tone. “A little before 8, so I’m already at work.” “Let me guess, you forgot I was in here so you went to work and you’re just now realizing that you don’t know how to spit me out?” “What? No!……yes.” Tommy sighed obnoxiously loud as he readjusted himself. “Y’know I should’ve expected that. I’m too much like you sometimes, your dumbass-ery rubs off on me.” “…context?” “This is exactly what I did when I stored someone for the first time.” He responded shamefully, making Dream wheeze. “Oh, I wouldn’t be laughing to hard yet, big man, I have a secret weapon you don’t know about.” “Oh yeah, pipsqueak? What’s that?” He heard Tommy laugh quietly to himself as he moved to a part of the stomach he hadn’t been in yet, and gently stroked a higher area. Dream froze, taking in the sensation again. “So what do you think that’ll-“ He cut himself off as something started to feel off in his throat. He pressed his hands to his neck as the sensation grew, and became strangely audible. He heard Tommy laugh louder as a horrified look grew on his face. “What’s wrong, Dream?” Tommy laughed. “Didn’t you know you could purr?” Dream just stood frozen for a second. “…What the ACTUAL FUCK-“

[sepyana]

JJBA Stardust Crusaders Ep. 25-29 Thoughts

Aka I ramble on about the N'Doul episodes and some manga differences.

Ep 25 is the start of the second half of SDC. I have been a bit slow so far so I've decided to pick up speed. It's gonna take me 2 months to finish the anime otherwise. I've watched episodes 25 to 33 but I have some extra things to say today, I'm gonna split the post in two.

First of all, the opening. It starts off all mysteries but then the rest of the song is like the first one. It even has Star Platinum's ORA ORA's in it. My favourite part is the start and the sequence with the white lines in it.

Ep. 25-26 (N'Doul)

There is a dog. The dog has a stand, The Fool. To be fair, he is a really anthropomorphized dog, way smarter than the actual thing. They kind of have to do this if he is gonna be part of the team with a stand and all. (Jotaro smiling while Iggy is biting Polnareff's face off was pretty funny. Mr. Emotionless over here thinks this is hilarious.)

It's honestly a crime that N'doul shows up for only two episodes. His design, abilities and personality is sick as hell to me. My fave DIO goon, maybe? Most of the time stands are way more interesting then the goon using 'em. Basic bitch pick, I know. Sometimes things are popular for a reason.

^ Kakyoin being a piece of shit here was pretty funny. They were arguing so much that N'Doul could sense them. Good work guys.

Episode goes from 1 to 11 real quick when N'Doul slashes Kakyoin's eyes. And he passes out from the shock. Kakyoin getting hurt to show how dangerous the new threat happens a lot, but it seems actually serious this time. I don't think Araki is bold enough to make him lose his eyes for real, but It'd be really interesting development if he did. I'm just saying.

Advol says "No, that's wrong" He says the thing! Guys!!! He also gets his neck cut too ig lol. I'm sure he'll be fine.

Jotaro uses the secret Joestar technique of running the fuck away (to divert attention away from the people he cares about). Classic. He makes sure to grab Iggy on the way.

^ Jokes aside, I thought Jotaro throwing Iggy to not get hit by Geb was really smart. It makes so much sense but I couldn't think of it at all.

I know Iggy is just a dog, he didn't ask for this yada yada I don't care, if the bastard didn't wanna get thrown at 20 mph he shouldn't look so goddamn puntable. Every time I look at him I am filled with rage. I want to kick him like football.

Okay but for real, Iggy is gonna be a hard sell for me. I don't like small dogs but I dislike fart jokes even more, which he unfortunately delivers in spades. I know part 3 has a lot of piss shit and fart jokes in it but Iggy isn't helping!!

Okay the stand-off between Jotaro and N'Doul was excellent. The animation, the soundtrack and the sound design worked really well. And then Star Platinum going HUUUUAAAHHHH

If you didn't think Dio wasn't building a cult before, you'll surely do now. Even Jotaro comments on it. Cults give people a purpose and answers, so...

I do feel a lil bit bad for him. Dio finds the most isolated and depressed people to use them, letting them depend on him. As much as I've been trying to avoid them I get recommended jojos when I search for clips. N'Doul's line "I do not fear death. Just as long as [Dio] doesn't abandon and murder me himself." in one of the games puts it plainly.

It's hard to wrap your head around Dio being charismatic but when you hear his interactions with them it becomes obvious. He acts like he cares for them, whether that's genuine or on is up in the air. Considering everything in Phantom Blood, how much it took for Dio to finally respect Jonathan, I'm inclined to say no? He was definitely meant to be a pure evil Disney villain type of character there. SDC might shake things up, who knows.

Overall, these episodes are great. They have a lil bit of everything I like. Part 1 doesn't feel boring compared to part 2, unlike some other two parters. Not to mention the music picks.

-

Now, onto something I wanna talk about. I was sort of going thru the manga pages for the last few episodes and,

This line of Jotaro is given to Advol in the anime. And he is less stressed about it. (I know characters get major injuries only to be fine the next episode but like, Kakyoin losing his eyes is a big development. He doesn't show for the next 13 episodes after this.)

^ Too tired to change the lines.

Also, in the anime, It is Advol who holds Kakyoin. (Polnareff holding Joseph isn't in either.) Instead, Jotaro hangs with one hand while the other is casually in his pocket. Which is absolutely hilarious. And shows how anime and manga to treats his character.

I know people arguing over manga and anime Jotaro is -a whole thing- I would hear stuff about it while Stone Ocean anime was still releasing. I will think about this a lot more if I actually read the whole thing. Just talking about these two episodes here.

In the anime, Jotaro needs to look cool all the time always. I assume what they were going for was to make him more stoic so that when his cool guy persona (and it is a persona) starts slipping it has more impact. But the changes made seem kind of random. They changed some stuff in this episode but they have kept the Anubis one largely the same. He is not as agitated there but he is still on the back foot.

He is losing control in this episode. The only reason they made it out alive was because The Fool just happened to be able to fly, he was basically fucked before then. Him looking panicked at Kakyoin losing his eyes also makes sense. He can't do anything about the situation, so naturally, his stoic demeanor starts to dissipate for a while. Kakyoin and Advol has put him on a timer.

I don't think the difference between manga and anime Jotaro is that big but it is notable. I dunno. I would prefer Jotaro breaking the cool mask too much rather than basically never.

Another tidbit is, Star Platinum smiles in the manga way more. And I'm gonna be honest I prefer the anime in this. It goes back to the "Having it less makes the times where it does show up more impactful." thing. So, it can definitely be done in a good way.

Ep. 27 (Oingo Boingo Brothers)

One thing I found strange is how the English dub and sub treats the brothers' names. They normally call themselves.Oingo Boingo Brothers. The English sub calls them Zenyatta Monetta Brothers. The dub straight up doesn't mention their name at all.

Weirdly enough, the the other subs do call them Oingo Boingo Brothers. Is it a cultural thing, or a copyright one? I don't know.

I don't have much to say about this episode. So I'm gonna take the opportunity to talk about Kakyoin instead :D

^ This is from the next episode but there isn't much I can use.

I mentioned before how I thought it would be interesting to blind him. You never see legally blind characters in action stuff, unless they have an ability that let's them sense the environment. Like Toph or N'Doul himself. It's a pain to fight blind, it turns out.

Kakyoin should have a way to see, through the humanoid stand Green Heirophant (unless him being blinded makes Heirophant blind also). Like, It would have been really draining. Summoning the stand is a lot but also the chronic pain from his injury, but he could do it. He could use the eyes for battle situations, or Joseph could have SPW bring him technology that could help him in some way. I'm not gonna call this a missed opportunity, I can see why didn't go with that.

I'm guessing Araki wanted to shrink the cast for a while, like with Advol's "death". 5 man band casts are nice but it can be hard to work with 5 people all the time. Cast is divided again with Polnareff-Jotaro and Advol-Joseph. I went in to check when Kakyoin shows up again (grazing thru the manga) and he is not in the show for 13 episodes, excluding 2 scenes. That's more than quarter of the whole runtime. Advol was away for 9 episodes, and he was suppose to be dead.

I'm a bit conflicted on this, shrinking the cast builds relationships between the characters more in depth and it allows for new and interesting storylines. But at the same time, that's a lot of episodes. I just really like both Advol and Kakyoin, man.

Ep. 28-29 (Anubis)

FINALLY Some swordfighting scenes.

Polnareff goes off on his own, again. He comes across a stand user and gets almost killed, again. Yet he keeps going off on his own anyway. Never change king.

Anubis' shtick is that it's a stand with no user, that gets more powerful the more you fight it. It's like Nasus but way cooler. Not that that's a high bar to pass, anything is cooler than farming stacks for 20 minutes. I don't know where Anubis getting stronger with time comes from, since Nasus also has this It's probably part of the mythology. I know absolutely nothing about that though.

Anubis themselves is also a fun villain. Funny man with funny voice. Their design is the opposite of unique but it works for me. I like that him possessing the kid gives him lipstick.

Going back to Polnareff, I think people forget how powerful he is sometimes. When it comes to power and speed, only one stronger than Chariot in the group is Star Platinum. And Star Platinum is op as hell.

Jotaro vs Anubis drives that point even further, Jotaro is not even sure he can win against Polnareff with Anubis' speed added to the equation. The whole fight is just Jotaro sweating bullets thinking "Shit shit shit shit sh

When he does finally win, he says "What were you saying? You were gonna tear me into shreds?" while Star Platinum puts his hand like this. Just. I love it.

^ Compilation of Jotaro faces for this episode.

Overall, Anubis episodes were pretty nice. I think the Alessi epsiodes do a better job building Jotaro and Polnareff's dynamic though.

[erica2024]

The violet Angel

Bucky x reader

TW: torture, rape, starving, self harm, language, homophobic language, homophibia

¡Fem Reader!

Sorry I put she and her pronouns because I write it as if I am in the story and they are my pronouns but you can change them to your own sorry again. also I’m English not American so I might say other things that don’t make sense but just Google it ig. Ok just another thing to add on watch the movies before you read this because it contains spoilers and it wont make much sense because of time skips.Marvel owns all characters except y/n the time line is also owned by marvel most of the speech is marvels property but i will have some speech that belongs to me i dont want to be copy righted

You were born Friday 28 February 1925. 

You are a 9040s girl grew up with Peggy in England until you moved to the US with your siblings ( one brother and a sister) when you were 6 and you then went to school with Steve and you worked with him all the time, with school, you have been with him and helped him with bully’s and beet them up for him. As you would do for your best friend. You stay in contact with Peggy but its long distance, you write letters and call once a month and send new picks every year to show each other how your holding up and how you’ll change, you live with both your parents in a small Brooklyn house and you and Steve are inseparable you are at the park or helping him with homework and him teaching you, about everything because you go to boy and girl schools which are different. You learn a lot from Steve, and in return you teach him how to sew and stitch and mend and wash and cook, you teach him things in return.

Time skip 9 years later to 1934

 (Your 15) Steve said he will try and get into the army. Soon Peggy sends you a message to come back to England to come and train for the army and you go and tell Steve that you will go off to England and train with your friend, and tell him that you will have to let you go and he finds someone to stay with, but he has always had Bucky so whenever he is not with you he is with his friend Bucky of whom you have never met. You say your goodbyes and you move in with Peggy and train for months and talk about Boys and you tell Peggy about Steve and she has quite an interest in him even though she has never met him. You write to Steve and call once a moth like you did with Peggy. And you train for 2 years and leave because its too hard to keep up with all the men and having to put up with their silly comments because your a woman and comments about your body and so you move back and you have to move in with Steve and he goes out with Bucky daly and one night you join Steve for a movie and Steve gets beet up in a alleyway and you go and stand up for him and they hit you, and someone in a uniform walks up to you and Steve and he Told him 

‘Pick on someone your own size, and you really went low enough to hit a woman.’

He punched him in the nose and kneed him in the stomach as he falls to the ground groaning.

‘Right okay, Buck meet Y/n, Y/n meet Bucky’ Steve says

‘Are you okay,? Y/n?’ He says

‘I’m okay I’m used to it don’t worry’ you say catching your breath

‘What do you mean your used to it’

‘I did training to be n the army, hopefully I’m gunna join the US one if i have to I’ll force myself in, anyways good punch i did try already but they all just laughed at me’

‘Thanks, call me James, Buck, Bucky, whatever you prefer’

‘How about Jamie?’

‘NO, definitely not i am not a child’ y’all laugh

‘I’m joking, how about Bucket?’

‘She is exactly how you described her, Steve we have somewhere to be tomorrow Stark’s Expo, oh and i got Steve a date.’

‘Your talking about the Howard Stark, right, the hot, billionaire’

‘Hot?’ Steve asks

‘Nothin’, well i have tickets wanna go together?’

‘I have to go pick out a dress, and call Peggy I’ll see you kids later’

They laugh together as you walk away *thinking about how adorable Buck was*

You head off and go to a telephone and call Peggy,

‘Hey Peg, so you know the Bucky that i told you that Steve always talks about.’

‘yes?, why are you shouting’

‘Well he’s really ✨Cute✨, and we are all going to the Stark Expo together but they both have dates but, I’m tagging along tho’ 

‘That’s nice, when are you going shopping?’

‘Hi, Y/n the girl my best friend won’t shut up about?’ Someone says

‘What sorry I’m on the phone do I know you, sorry what Bucky, what are doing following, this is a private conversation,’

‘Well you shouting isn’t really private, is it tho?’

‘Well i have to talk to Peggy, bye’ *you wave him out of your face*

‘So when are you going dress shopping?’

‘Tonight’

‘What are you thinking?’

‘Corset over dress, ankle boots with tights.’

‘Bit much you’ll have the boys drawling over you.’

‘That’s the point’

‘Peg i thought you knew me well’

‘I do, I have to go to training, love u baii’

‘Bye loverly’ *you end the call and go home and find a good corset to wear, a black leather one and a white dress with black ankle boots and black ripped tights.

20 mins later Bucky and Steve walks in on you (you and Steve share an apartment) doing you practice makeup 

For tomorrow, and plucking your eyebrows.

‘Ouch that took painfull’ buck says

‘It’s just plucking my eyebrows, and doing my makeup and picking out what to wear tomz’

‘Let me show you what I’m wearing, one sec’

*you run into the bathroom and get changed and finish your makeup and hair* it takes you half an hour so they sit and watch tv while waiting and when you come out they both stair hard and speechless, ‘so i guess that’s a okay?’

‘NO your not wearing that in public let alone anywhere’ the boys say together

‘And why is that?’

‘Because its just the Sark expo, wear something pretty, but not to revealing and duller please for me and buck’ Steve pleads

‘Fine’ you say (you only agreed because he is like your brother and he wouldn’t let anyone hurt you + he is doing it to keep u safe)

You change into a checkered dress

BTW: your 15ish

(Authors note you are beautiful no matter what you look like, bc Bucky wouldn’t love you just because of your looks but because of personality as well, you are yourself and someone will love you for that in one point on your life, should I write more? Sorry it’s long

[2n2n]

-im going to insult Kou

rapidfur

This whole exchange gave me BIG hell of mirrors vibes, when Kou is like "oh youve just got a gross and dirty little heart so thats why you dont want to go inside the mirror"... and its like UH YEAAA.... YEAA BUT LIKE NO ALSO.... akdjwkdj.  Especially when you get actual confirmation that his fear is his brother's dead body. I ultimately can't even take it seriously cause its so childish and, genuinely I dont think Kou means much by it... but... I dunno!

gkdfl;g it’s like ohhhhhh KOU, he words things far too capriciously and with far too much confidence, it makes Hanako go “jesus.... okay ....” not... ready for the level of irreverence. In the middle of a situation or subject as serious as what they are up against. Hanako is out here thinking about his beloved little brother’s corpse, and how the entire Hell of Mirrors will turn into an unbridled nightmare if he steps in......................... and then its like Kou is on a different planet. It’s crazy, the different wavelengths they exist on. It’s half Hanako’s fault for how he presents himself TO others and how he guards against severity/preciousness being discussed, BUT I STILL THINK KOU COULD.... BE SLIGHTLY MORE OBSERVANT AND PERCEPTIVE.... just like, from his own... brain..... please, you do walk into this knowing Hanako is a murderer, and now you know enough that it’s a complicated situation, but I swear Hanako’s demeanor of flippancy just works to make Kou (confirmed biggest patsy ever) completely forget everything ever...... if Nene was here I swear she’d be like “.... right.... Hanako-kun.... has a lot of things he might fear..... ): ”

Kou is so like... I can’t take your idiocy so seriously... and I think Hanako doesn’t either, which is WHY he never bothers defending himself or clarifying... he gets no benefit from uh, educating Kou.... he can’t get mad.... whatever, he can stay a misinformed idiot handling things with less honor than they deserve, Hanako has no need for Kou’s honor or respect. (which ig is why it’s so interesting he does snap the one time Kou tries to outright say the murder must have been ‘for a good reason’.... the extent to which you have to majorly fuck up to finally piss off Hanako, lol... he will shrug off so much.... you CAN insult HIM for being ‘afraid of Tsukasa’, but you CANNOT insult TSUKASA by saying he deserved to die... :B)

He feels like the goon in the room whos job it is to say the dumb thing, once Nene’s grown out of that role with what she’s learned. Maybe Nene gives Hanako too much space of respect and boundaries and then Kou’s the opposite with no sense of “hey... maybe thats not in your lane to comment on...”

Don’t Try To Have a Take, I Am Going To Hit You With a Rake

I'm also bothered and wondering if Kou still thinks Tsukasa is fake or not. He's not even talking like he is, so that must have been swept away by now...? But like does he even care? he carried him in his arms!!!! Oh my god, he is so simple-minded it drives me crazy... Kou IS great for his simplicity but it's annoying when AidaIro keep trying to give him moving character arcs. What was the point of him meeting baby tsukasa if hes still going to make the most uncharitable readings of tsukasa and hanakos relationship!?!? Grrr!!! I get his animosity towards Tsukasa can't be wrapped up so quickly, but the lack of any feeling at all is so discouraging. So disrespectful! How is Amane not more mad? Get some self respect, man!!! Maybe set up 1 or 2 boundaries!!!

Kou’s processing of things is often for me a real ‘just show you where he’s at periodically’ thing, admittedly I’m always pretty confounded when we check-in on him. He goes from... completely and utterly doubling down on ‘you’re DEFINITELY fake and NOT real Mitsuba’ to Mitsuba’s face in PP (ouch!) [I mean.... he pads it with ‘but I do want to help you’ but, it’s still... brutal... and he lacks any authority to say that, but boy does he say it]

 to... by the end of that arc, doing a ‘what’s real? idk’ (THEN WHY DID YOU DOUBLE DOWN SO HARD??? you really do just yell whatever comes to you before you critically examine it TT_TT) to Nene, 

^^This scene^^ has my favorite Kou, he’s the most contemplative and ‘pausing for thought’ we’ve seen... if he were like this more often I would not dislike him! This is such a placid and grounding conversation, admitting to uncertainty, conferring with Nene how difficult this is to navigate. He actually knows he’s out of his depth here. FOR ONCE...!

idk how to say this, but I think it’s... cruel, he doesn’t externalize ANY of his confusion TO Mitsuba? Mitsuba only gets him screaming confidently, declaring things, Mitsuba doesn’t even.. know, that you lay awake struggling with this? Mitsuba actually doesn’t even presume Kou is thinking/worrying about him (why would he, he won’t even think to eat lunch with him daily)

 ... he’s so humble!! It’s killing me, you’re supposed to be the good boy, but Mitsuba has made less progress peering into Kou’s psyche than freaking Nene has with goddamn HANAKO. WOOF! I mean, it’s both their fault, because   , they are both stupid,

...but still! 

Wouldn’t that be... helpful, for Mitsuba, who IS THE ONE STRUGGLING WITH HIS IDENTITY AND SELF, to know that even to an outsider, it isn’t so cut and dry, and it’s painful and intimidating to try to confront?

... then  just before the Red House we get Kou interacting with Mitsuba’s mom, a dope scene wherein Kou censors himself while Nene doesn’t, but both get mommy’s approval..... Kou comes out of that mostly just wrestling with ‘death’, and cryptically, despite us (the audience) seeing the contrary (nene and mommy chatting about the ghost Mitsuba as if he was living Mitsuba), Kou ends this all with “ah... he’s really gone” (????????????????????? did you really go this whole time not even processing his death as a point of fact? You’re making Nene’s processing of Hanako being a ghost multiple volumes in look like she was a rocket scientist .......  ig Teru has done a great job keeping him ignorant and unthinking about all these things?)

....... its like every time we check-in with Kou, he’s definitely thought harder to himself and gotten himself in a tizzy and all.... he’ll be at different stages of struggling....... but like. For me, seeing him get ‘this far’ with Mitsuba was like “nice nice ... ok ... come on Kou ....” and then him leaping to ‘this is a fake Tsukasa’ was like,

WHY ARE YOU STARTING AT 0?????????????????? OMG please apply your experiences with Mitsuba, TO Tsukasa.... PLEASE RELATE TO HANAKO’S LOSS NOW THAT YOU UNDERSTAND LOSS?????? You-- JUST AREN’T??? OMG Kou what is the POINT then of you processing Loss and Identity,,, if you’ll use none of that to analyze the Yugi before you. IMAGINE if Hanako was like “lol you don’t interact with Mitsuba because you are afraid of him” it would be like ................................................ SORTOF????? it’s intimidating to interact with confusing things!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It’s also sad!! It’s HARDDDD!!!! KOU!!!! What IS your relationship with ‘new Mitsuba’? How do you decontextualize your modern relationship from the legacy of your past?  Is it right to, is it wrong to? How do you act different, how do you act the same? What ‘future’ do you have with this person? YOU ALREADY KNOW HOW PAINFUL THIS IS, KOU. 

the authenticity removal due to alteration does not GET to apply to ONLY Tsukasa and be more vague for Mitsuba, for Kou’s convenience!! Questions of Kaii legitimacy and the source of identity are, going to be universal, you can’t pick and choose when to authenticate someone as ‘real’ and when to not based on IF YOU PERSONALLY LIKE THEM OR NOT. *hits him with a rake*

...anyway yeah, like ... seeing Red House not change his disrespectful tone about Tsukasa, is par the course for like.... omg.... you don’t seem to retain much information or apply it to Tsukasa.... I’m excited anyway bc I feel Kou has such a big storm coming when ultimately the narratives of Mitsuba and Tsukasa have overlap (where he can’t reject one and accept the other without collateral).... I feel like his purpose right now is to ... be the guy who needs to learn something .... 

[sheepwasfound]

anon mentioned something about his speed running which def isn’t gonna happen he said that around may or early june and it made people convinced he was going to sign a deal with youtube gaming and then he made those new accounts and nothing ended up happening and also the dreamislive website so i just thought he’d be streaming more for some reason but ig it fell through for whatever reason it was also around the time he said that something “controversial” was gonna happen which also made people thing a youtube gaming deal but who knows im hoping once dsmp season 2 starts we will get more chill streams cause the times dream mentioned it he said we would even be seeing his pov but i also dk how hopeful i feel about season 2 either at this point

it's so funny, i got this ask last night & was in bed & had a busy day -- and now that i got to it, karma's hit the speedrunning community...

yeah i never took it seriously when he said he'd speedrun casually again, i took it as one of those things many fans tell him to do and then he kinda says he might and never ends up doing it. but all the rest of the stuff with the accounts and everything he was making, it did seem like there was something going on behind the scenes there! don't know whether it was just a plan in his head or if he was working with others on it. youtube gaming never really seems out of the realm of possibility i think, not even now

i was never into dsmp lore (it was just way too much to keep up with) so i don't really care about the season 2 to be fully honest with you 😭 i'm one of those bitches that kinda wishes it'd come to an End Finale and then maybe they'd make a chill smp with just them to hang out. that's not gonna happen though. now IF season 2 is about the dream/dreamxd-george mythical love triangle sign me right up for only that part. otherwise i don't care i am sorry... it's too many people with too much lore i can't deal with it all and i'm the kinda person that i need to know Everything so i couldn't handle just keeping up with some of it

i wouldn't call dsmp lore streams chill streams anyway though! with chill i mean just fucking around, not planned lore stuff. that's what i'd like to see em do again... whether on minecraft or any other game or irl!

in the end dream mentions that he's going to do many things and he plans many things but what he actually ends up doing is usually something very different. that's life though, we'll just have to see what they do! i just want them to do Something nowwww

[8bitgarden-sys]

Anyone else think in the last great american dynasty, Bill MIGHT have been the bad guy? Like yeah everyone else, but like… “women with madness,” self hate and internalized ableism, “their men and bad habits” —- UM HOLD ON

“The DOCTOR had TOLD HIM. to SETTLE. DOWN.” But it must’ve been her fault his heart gave out.

Like he, correct me if I’m wrong, knew what his town was like. They knew they’d all blame her when he died and he didn’t care (right? I’m willing to hear other sides! Bc its very possible that he had some kind of addiction or disorder that made things way more complicated than the song had room for! So maybe bad guy isn’t exactly what I’m saying)

But yeah we have an alter, Benji, who (tw for this stanza of abuse (non graphically mentioned) holds most of our what we call “roommate trauma” which was just a specific longish form traumatic event that happened in our life before we even knew we had DID, but HE—Benji—was the host. So he was the one experiencing like pretty much all of the gaslighting and predatory and stuff.

When he listens to this song, he cries. It’s his #1 swiftie song (tied for him specifically w all too well 10 mins if u’ve been following me for even 24 hrs u probably know that) bc of the end. “I had a marvelous time ruining everything.” We say more about that in a swiftie eras themed video essay we did which I’ll link here if ur interested—warning i SERIOUSLY messed up the backing music and it does get very loud at some times. If u think u can handle that and still hear what I’m saying, give it a shot! If u can’t and are still interested in what we said, dm us and we’ll send u the script we read from! But anyway the thing that resonates w us, and Benji the most, the most, is this:

Our “first” experience w tlgad was we were finally in the mood to listen to new music (any other neurodivergents feel me?) and we wanted to try folklore. I didn’t like it at first—and before we continue, I LOVE it now. I have a personal problem I’m working on, if i think something will be very one way and it’s just not it completely turns me off no matter how good it is and I need time to be ready to accept that it wasn’t what I thought, and it will be beautiful.

I listened, two years ago, to tlgad and turned it off at the line “it must’ve been her fault his heart gave out.” (Real life and major character death when it’s not an essential part of a story trigger me, and I wasn’t ready. No one’s fault)

I did ever pick it up again until…

The Eras Tour was added to Disney+. And we just were lucky enough to have it.

And she starts playing it, and i think I remember being like “oh god oh gos oh god its this oje irk it i can do this” but 1) i am SO grateful that this was my first REAL experience w it bc while i love the original one just the same the eras tour one hits different and 2) we cried so many happy tears hearing the end for the first time, and the performance??? How every actress and actor and taylor herself and EVERYONE did so well to make a very vivid story line that I finally got it, I got it, I got it, and it was beautiful.

And finally.

The way Taylor yells it.

“There goes the LOUDEST WOMEN THIS TOWN HAS EVER SEEN!!!!! 😍🥰💘☀️💃💪

So healing.

Ok i thought this was gonna be a 1-3 stanza paragraph but here it is. Ig what i personally want abt this post is to hear what ppl are personally thinking about (at any detail ur comfortable with, with proper trigger warnings) the song, what it means to help, if it’s helped them?

Anyway, I’ll reblog if i’ve forgotten smth.

[apatheticchocobar]

i did it

so I consulted the psychiatrist yesterday and finally talked about the possibility of adhd. of course i cried the whole time. but i did it. i'm proud of myself.

she listened so patiently and did not dismiss my concerns. and actually got me an adhd test. WHICH I DID TODAY!!! (thank you god for helping schedule it early)

i think i did match with most of the symptoms mentioned. i think i have mostly the inattentive symptoms. but don't know what final report would be

have to meet psychiatrist again day after tomorrow (friday) for follow up.

good thing that the timing has worked out well for this. would be going home for diwali after this, so would give me an opportunity to talk to parents about whatever the diagnosis is too

really really hope they understand and are supportive

a bigger problem right now though is i'm pretty sure i would have low hemoglobin levels. the last 2-3 weeks i have had horrible eating habits. skipped so many meals. never eat breakfast. sometimes having the first meal of the day at 3 pm.

it started as an innocent healthy diet/exercise thing. idk if counting calories was a bad idea. but some days i've literally had 1200 calories only. and mostly between 1600-1800 on other days

today i realised, the last time i had a waffle was almost 2 months ago. i'll order one tomorrow!

but its like literally the 3rd time i've let this happen. it always goes the same way. i keep thinking it's only a few times so won't really make a difference. don't really notice the effects initially. and then it hits me like a truck. the last 3 days from when periods started have been the worst mental state i've been in since a long time.

even while writing this, i feel a bit dizzy and have a headache. its 2 am right now. i have to go for the test at 8 am

i'm supposed to be working on btp right now but i literally cannot focus on anything. this constant headache makes me feel really weird and tired

i have asked the phd guy for a meet tomorrow, i hope he responds. but eventually (by friday definitely) i would have to face the elephant in the room. talking to sir and actually scheduling the final presentation. i'll send him the doctor's prescriptions and just hope he understands. presentations can be done till dec start. i'll request him to schedule mine as late as possible so i'll get time after endsems to work on this and make this situation less of a mess. (can the medical thing work for the missed aml assignment too?)

if (and i really hope so) i get diagnosed with adhd, i don't know if i would want to take medication for it. from what i read online there are 2 types: stimulants and non-stimulants. stimulants work better but are habit forming and have side effects, and you have to keep increasing the dosage. and non-stimulants but they don't work that well.

i don't want to have to keep taking medicines and be dependent on them for the rest of my life. i would prefer getting therapy and learn to manage the symptoms. but what if therapy is not enough. ig only time will tell

so this is it i guess. i hope things get better after this

something to remember from reddit for later:

The blame thing is a very common trap people with ADHD fall in. Once they get diagnosed, everything they do is later blamed as "I'm just ADHD" rather than actually taking effort in fixing those issues. This is a trap many people fall into and it's hard to get out of it. People with ADHD if anything have to work twice as hard to manage their lives. The diagnosis is supposed to be pretty much the start line for people. Not the finish. It's not supposed to feel like you got closure.

[str4wb3rr1cr0w]

rating the french fries of different restaurants because i take the fries into consideration whenever i go to restaurants:

mcdonalds: 5/10 they’re okay. they usually hit the spot, but they r often not very crisp.

wendy’s: 8/10 they r SO GOOD. if u don’t like wendy’s fries i think ur wrong. points off for the skin on them.

burger king: 3/10 sorry but they r not the tastiest fries i have had. the texture is okay ig but they taste pretty bland

whataburger: 8/10 they r SO GOOD similar to mcdonald’s fries but they r usually very crisp. bonus points because they r very good with the whataburger spicy ketchup.

sonic: 2/10 BAD BAD BAD FRIES !!! SO soggy!!!! also who tf goes to sonic and gets their FRIES. they have tots for a reason; so you don’t have to get their fries.

freddy’s frozen custard and steak burgers: 9/10 they’re super mega thin which means they r SUPER crisp and they are well seasoned

church’s chicken: 7/10 it is very obvi i am from texas sorry xoxo. they r super crisp but they’re small and crinkle cut and crinkle cut fries remind me of school so points off for that

chili’s: 9/10 SOME OF THE BEST FRIES I HAVE EVER HAD !!! perfectly crisp and they have a nice flavor and texture

denny’s: 8/10 only ever had them when i was high off my ass so they tasted better than they would have. i dislike their shape but the flavor was super good and they were crisp

ihop: 7/10 points off for the skin still being on. they were very crisp and salty, could not stop eating them

texas roadhouse: -5/10 i hate hate HATE texas roadhouse and everything to do with it. i dislike steak fries in general but them being from texas roadhouse automatically makes them the worst ever i hate texas roadhouse and i hope every texas roadhouse DIES.

cane’s: 6/10 they r crisp usually but points off because i hate crinkle cut fries

jack in the box: 7/10 i have only had their curly fries which are well seasoned but curly fries aren’t super crisp so points off for that sorry jack in the box

taco bell: 10/10 THE TACO BELL NACHO FRIES R NOT CRISP BUT THEY GET AN EXCEPTION BECAUSE OF THE SEASONING AND TACO BELL FOOD IS MY SAFE FOOD AND I CAN JUST THROW THEM IN THE AIRFRYER TO MAKE CRISP SO IT’S FINE I LOVE THEM I WANT THEM BACK

okay these r all the places i can think of where i have eaten and have had their fries before xox

[diariesof-kg]

The Heartbreaker Continued...

Tmobile won’t let me disconnect my phone line, what a damn joke.  And IG keeps denying me of deactivating my IG.  I just came back from seeing my kids.  It somehow healed a part of me.  The innocence of children is honestly a beautiful thing.  It’s the ultimate forever love you’ll always get.

I noticed everyone was on their phones and well I wasn’t.  The consumption of social media is really something toxic.  Everyone also noticed my energy was way off even though I smiled a lot.  My best friend mom was like “...are you okay? Are you good...” I wanted to break but couldn’t.  It’s like one of those moments of do not speak about that forbidden thing.  I want to go to the beach tonight.  I feel the urgency to get there.  I am kind of glad the plans are cancelled for tomorrow.  Hearing my mom say “Be strong...” stings.  She knows I’ve attempted to take my life 3x and the next time will be the last.  The last conversation, I cried when she said “be strong Ke’Anna, you have to be...” if anything should happen to her.  Maybe that’s why she refuses to come see me?  In my dreams I see her feet never her face.  Maybe she’s scared that if I come in contact I’ll let go of this world.  I’ve been strong and I’m tired.  Everyday I wake up and I am in pain.  I swear I don’t want to be in this vessel anymore.  It’s a weird type of pain.  And look at me venting my thoughts out.  Look at me disappearing, and yet, “I am a ghoster and a bad friend” Lol.

When shit hits the fan, no one has my back at all.  I honestly DO NOT understand why I am so bothered.  That’s why I need to go away.  I am beyond vulnerable at this point.  Accountability also bothers me.  No one is willing to admit their wrongs and apologize.  I feel like once my mom died, I became very weak and everything bothers me.  Maybe I am scared of being alone for once, when at first I wasn’t because she was here.  Maybe I am scared of my subconscious?  Maybe I am seeking things to feel a void?  What if I have become broken (like everyone else) and seeking a healer?  I feel like a disease walking around infecting those around me unintentionally.  I feel ugly inside.  This friend thing boiled everything over for me.  Capricorns are the goats but we feel things too.  We have emotions too.  We hurt too.  

I do be use to people’s actions, but a person can only handle so much.  The fact that my sister came and was so busy visiting her friends was hurtful.  I was only allowed two days and that barely worked.  I wanted to have lunch with her and my girlfriend but my sister schedule just didn’t allow that and she wasn’t going to readjust anything.  *tears* Maybe I’m too sensitive?  I get everyone has their own life, but the fact my own sister spared me 2 days, real life hurts.  I have to take care of everything regarding our mother and my brother, meanwhile she has no responsibilities.  That’s why I always question, what am I doing here?  I am here to do what others are not willing to do.  Then she poured the drama on me and didn’t pour back into me at all.  It’s like Ke’Anna why are you even upset at this point, you should be use to this.  I shouldn’t be use to anything at this point, I should be respected and appreciated.  So many things bother me at this point, I just want to disappear.  My feelings are always denied and never heard, that’s why I don’t speak about them, I’d rather write them out.  I feel like as a child it’s always been this way, but then once I interacted with other humans, it’s still the same, friendships, relationships, family.....

I wish people would stop seeing me as a sexual object.  I can’t even begin to express those thoughts.  I’d never forget when, this chick my friends named her Candy Cane was so upset, and said “you could get it, aint no way no one is fucking you...”  that’s for a different blog post, but I’ll gather those screenshots from my old phone.  Some random number, sent nudes, asking me to eat their p*ssy.  Anyone would be delighted to have things like this happen, but if you knew what happened to me as a child, you’d be a bit more respectful.  Plus the other chick sexually assaulting me (for another blog).  Phew....there is so much bottled up it’s starting to leak.  I enjoy intimacy with love making with the person I choose to be with.  I am not interested in having sex with random folks or be enticed by inappropriate comments that come from people I am not in a relationship with.  The sad thing about is, I can’t ask no one I am friends with who liked me to stop by, because I am too scared of being touched on and not knowing what to do.  I can’t even hug folks without them being turned on.  It’s a sick world seriously.  Although I’d never let these people know where I live, it be the thoughts sometimes, I just be needing a friend, not to be fcked on.  I can’t deny how people feel, but I wish it wasn’t towards me, this is why deep inside I just want to be loved properly.  I wish people would stop having sex dreams about me and telling me, I gag every time.  And the reason I don’t reply, because when I tell people, its inappropriate it turns into this big deal and I am the bad guy.

I stopped posting on social media, because I don’t like the comments or DMs sometimes and I know that’s weird, but for some reason compliments make me feel weird.  

To end this blog ----

I wish I wasn’t as weak right now.  Feeling numb, is like not caring if you live or die.  Not caring about eating, just existing at this point.  I need to go to the beach, but I can’t see at night.  I want to be loved properly.  I think that’s why it’s hard for me to say, “I love you...” because I know I mean it, but others may not.  “I love you so much...” she said just to tell lies on me and become the victim.  “I love you key...” just to accuse me of messing with your best friend, and interfering with your baby daddy.  Can someone please say, “I love you” without the bullshit being attached.  

[rrxnjun]

I ACTUALLY YELLED SEEING LIEBESTRAUM WAHHHHH;-;-;;-;-;-;-;; THANK U SO MUCH FOR WRITING IT I CANT WAIT TILL JUNE;-;;-;-; i cannottttt tell u how happy u actually made me with that wahhdhfjf

OOO MAN☹️☹️I HOPE UR MENTAL HEALTH WILL GET BETTER!!!! AND U DONT SUCK!!! TAKE UR TIME WITH IT u shouldn't listen to them when ur not in the mood for them it will deff ruin the vibes so take all the time u need!!!!

i agree with that the only good noise music i listen to now is all from nct and when i hear other bgs' i'm just😟😟😟 IM SURE HE WAS AMAZING CUZ ALL OF THEM WERE🤌🤌 the song genuinely slaps so i'm not surprised if it makes it in there

well idk people said i study a lot so i just accepted the fact but i never feel prepared enough so;-; tbh the percentage is lower just to pass💀 but i need the plus point for uni and that's the limit for getting it but yeah i feel like it shows that hungary does not go for making people smarter lmao💀 I WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND THE POINT LIMITS FOR GETTING INTO UNI wahhh the whole thing is dumb🫠 thank u!!!! i have three more speaking exams so i'm shitting my pants rn😃OH NO☹️ i hope u passed the second one exams suck so i hope it didn't hit u hard!!!! GOOD LUCK WITH THEM!!! IM SURE U WILL DO GOOD ON THEM!! MANIFESTING SO HARD!!!! I HOPE U ARE DOING WELL AND ARE TAKING CARE OF URSELF!!!! (liebestraum anon💓💕)

(the review reply: art sucks for that reason sm;-; but i deff learned after a few times of that happening with me as well to just sleep on it and throw it out after but it still amuses me how can art have this effect in a way (idk how to explain what i mean rip) AND THANK U FOR NOT HATING IT U JUST MADE ME THE HAPPIEST PERSON ISTG!!!)

IM REPLYING TO THIS ASK LITERALLY SO LATE THAT THE FIC IS DROPPING TOMORROW LMAO ADJSK i have to warn u tho its quite different to the original draft i had and the teaser i posted from it 😶😶 hope you still end up liking it !!!

SJSJ thank you thank you 😔😔 you are always so sweet and understanding ily mwah.

nct noise is the only good noise in kpop. there i said it. 😶 (this is a joke there are a few more good noise songs from diff groups pls dont jump me im targeting one fandom in specific w this yes) like nct could do any of your favs songs but could your favs do sticker? no. thats right.😌 AHHH im glad u liked my babies cix i was told by spotify that they are my top listened to artist of the last 4 weeks so. 😃 yeah. they also had a comeback like 2 days ago if u wanna check that out cough cough

if people tell u that, its probably true AHAHA 😭😭 me and my friend were talking the other day like i dont even study that much like i get to the 2 hour mark and i go well 🤷‍♀️ thats it for the day ig. like i dont have any more brain capacity LMAO. Oooh i do get you w the uni points stuff!! me being a straight A student was what got me into uni too bc switching from business hs to psychology was actually kind of insane coming from me LMAOOO i had no bonus points from biology or anything so my grades helped a TON since i fucked up the entrance exam too lol 😭😭😭 im rooting for you !!!! I feel like slovakia doesnt really care abt that either ?? there are definitely better and worse unis tho and i unfortunately attend the one thats one of the best so they kinda care..😔 SPEAKING EXAMS ARE THE WORST THEY SHOULD BE CANCELLED LIKE THATS 3 TIMES THE STRESS U HAVE WHEN TAKING A WRITTEN ONE. i hate those sm omg i am PRAYING for you (i have only one speaking one this semester and i am mentally preparing for it for the last few weeks) i actually passed the second try (with an E, but i still did it....) and i have another exam w the same professor this friday so..🤞

i am trying to learn how to be patient w art (and life) so it prevents me tearing everything out and throwing it out.....so you are right abt that AHAHA thats a good advice to take

as always i hope youre doing good, taking care of yourself and having a good time!! mwah

[jtprojects]

Snake Game with JavaScript

Blog Post 2 – INTP-362

INTRO

Hello! If you came here after reading my first blog post (not necessary but it would be funny if u wanted to see my struggle) welcome back! It’s nice to see you again! If you diDN’T read the last blog post (the disloyalty smh /lh) hello! Nice to make your acquaintance!

If you aren’t aware what I’m doing here (tbh same life is definitely,,, A Thing™ for sure), I essentially ventured out to learn about game development in JavaScript (a coding language, often paired with HTML and CSS if you weren’t aware which is completely fair). I have previously had experience with JS in terms of website development but never really for game development. For the sake of this post and the catered audience, I’m just gonna assume that you know JS and HTML and CSS and all that jazz. If you don’t, my sincerest apologies (/s,,, kinda).

(The title of the game and display of the current score would be what is controlled by html and css while everything in the black box would be controlled in js)

MAKING DECISIONS

So, first thing I had to figure out which IDE to use. Now this wasn’t too hard of a choice, as I already have multiple different IDEs with options for JS, html, and css (by multiple I mean 2, the accursed netbeans and the modern and sleek vscode). For this project, due to its simplicity and familiarity, I chose vscode (I was gonna give a whole outline as to what vscode is but I’m not getting paid to do that so no thank you).

After getting my IDE decided and figured out, I had to find out what game I wanted to create. Of course, as I am overly ambitious (which I must admit is one of my fatal flaws) My initial idea was “hey, why don’t I make a short, simplified version of pokemon or a fighter game like mortal kombat or smash?” y’know, like a fool. While these goals may have been achievable if I had multiple months to do this and no sense of procrastination, it simply wasn’t possible to pull off unless I wanted to neglect my studies and focus solely on the game.

After hitting that miserable realization, I made up a list of games that I could make in the amount of time given and the amount of motivation I had inside of me (which,,, is not a lot actually). My list eventually came down to these games:

Snake

Pong

That one offline dino game on google

Tetris

and Flappy Bird

Now all these games were doable, however, when it came to applying the things that I already knew, I would have to choose snake. As I had learned previously (not in the last blog post tho) how to control the movement of a shape based from keyboard input and object collision and everything of the sort, snake seemed like the easiest option to me.

HTML

After creating the project, I immediately created all the files and game them appropriate names (tho they deffo could’ve been better but eH ‘twas a lapse in judgment). First thing after creating all the files was to set up the html page.

Just like any html page, I included the basic tags. The DOCTYPE, meta tags, title, a link to the css page and a script to the js page, a header with the extremely (/s) original title and a body with a div to show the current score and a canvas to allow me to draw in (canvas being the only new thing that has anything to actually do with my game).

CSS

Now I won’t bore you with the css details as most of it iS just setting the font, font colour, centering elements, placing elements side by side, and all that jazz hOWEVER, one thing that ig is really cool even though it’s not my original code bc in no way, shape, or form am I this cRACKED at css, would be the title.

(It’s the text colour animation effect on https://alvarotrigo.com/blog/css-text-animations/ )

DISPLAY WINDOW

Now here’s where it gets into the fun bit. The first steps to actually be able to do anything would be create the display and context. (Just for a little bit of unnecessary context, the code being presented is not in order of the actual project it’s just been copied and pasted to show you what I want you to see like those illusionists or something)

First thing we must do is create a grid in our minds. In this imaginary grid, each square is 25 pixels by 25 pixels, which has been assigned to the blockSize. Next we choose the dimensions of the display, I chose 20 blocks x 20 blocks. Then, as I had been taught in the past, we create the variables that are meant to hold the display information which is the width and height of the window and the context of the page just so that we can manipulate the window.

In the update function (the function that reruns every time the setInterval tells it to. This is the thing that I talked about last blog post that allowed for either a higher or lower fps.) we set the background colour as black using fillStyle and we draw the rectangle (square??? a square is a rectangle right?? geometry was rough) using fillRect. The first 2 values are the x and y of the top left corner of the display while the next 2 values are to set the actual size of the window.

Now, you may be like “hey, my guy, respectfully, you talked about display and setting the height and width and context and setInterval and actually drawing the window, but what about all the stuff in the middle? The change direction and foodRando and everything?” and to you, loyal reader, I say hush. It will all be revealed in good time impatient child.

DRAWING THE SNAKE

Next, we draw the snake.

Now just like the display, we get the X and Y of the snake head (obv not hardcoded bc we dO want it to move unlike irl). Next thing we add into the update function (don’t let the screenshot fool you this iS still the same update function as the last one). We also get the colour for the snake (I went fancy for this one and decided to do a hex code instead of just like,,, ‘green’ even though both would’ve produced similar results) and update the x and y of the snake based off of some things that will be talked about later on. We then continue to use fillRect again to draw the head of the snake.

Now the next bit is a bit more complicated then everything else shown previously (but if u know coding then its genuinely not that bad lmAO it just looks a bit spooky). In the for loop, we essentially create the variable i (you’ll see this bad boy a lot) and cycle through all the entries in the snakeBody to draw the rest of the body of the snake that way the snake’s body isn’t a fixed size. And can be increased depending on the entries in snakeBody.

 Next we have the for and if loop that’s placed before the snake display. The for loop is used when the snake is moving. Basically, every time the snake moves (and especially when the snake is turning) it allows the current section of the body to get the placement of the piece in front of it and replace it and moves down to the head which is placed using the if statement right after which is able to move (mostly) freely that way u can get those crisp 90 degree angles when your snake moves.

DRAWING THE FOOD

Finally, the last drawing piece, would be the food.

Just like all the parts before this, we start with initializing the variables that are to be used when finding the placement of the food. In the update function, we do the same thing we did as before, we set the colour using fillStyle and fillRect to place the food somewhere in the window.

Now finally, for the part that I told you guys to wait for, the meaning of foodRando. What foodRando does is that it finds a random place on the window using Math.floor to ensure that the number chosen is rounded down to a while number and Math.random to find that random place. The for loop is to ensure that the x and y coords of the piece of food isn’t inside the snake otherwise it reruns until it lands in an empty space. This is ran every time a piece of food is eaten and when the website first launches.

MOVING THE SNAKE

And now we talk about the other part of displayScreen that you were (or were not idk I can’t tell… or can I? No I can’t don’t worry you’re safe for now).

The next thing after being able to draw all these components to the window was to figure out how to actually move the snake. This is there the changeDirection comes into play. Inside displayScreen, we have an event listener which listens for when the user’s finger lifts off of an arrow on the keyboard, specified with ‘keyup’. Once that action takes place, the event listener runs changeDirection which takes in an event. in this event, we determine which key was pressed and move it according to the key that was pressed by changing vX and vY which is just the velocity. -1 in the Y variable means up while 1 means down. In the X variable, -1 is left and 1 means right. For both, 0 means just not moving.

But what is the && for? If you recall from all those years ago (it’s okay grandparent I get it ‘back in your day’ or whatever) the snake can’t  go from going up from going down immediately, same with left and right. This is because, if the snake were able to do that, it would just eat itself (and break its spine which isn’t really the best but who am I to judge) and immediately end the game. The && is meant to prevent that from happening. It’s a check to basically say “if you wanna do this, first we gotta make sure you ain’t doing the forbidden move”.

SCORING AND GAME END

Lastly (if you’re still here, hOLAY I’m barely even still here lmAO how do you dO it what is the sECRET?), dealing with collisions that cause the game end and keeping and increasing score.

For this last stretch, we state the variables for keeping score and ending the game, score and gameEnd. If you recall from the very beginning in displayScreen and in the html, there was some part with score in it. document.getElementById(“score”) is taking the variable from the js file and displaying it in the html so the reader gets some sort of validation beyond their snake getting longer (firstly, haha innuendo don’t look too deep into it. secondly, talk ab parental problems or something lmAO just like me frfr).

Next in the update function, we have the first if condition. In this condition we’re just specifying that, if gameEnd, the variable used to tell if the user has lost or not, is true, we end the game and restart using history.go (that’s something new that I learned I am but a tiny child) the page to allow the user to play again. The next if we have is to recognize when the snake has become fed and increase it’s size (like chickens to the slaughter) and increase the score. Once we have done that, we rerun foodRando, generating another piece of food.

 Finally, we enter the game end conditions. The first if statement is used to identify whether the head of the snake has hit the wall (like the tiktok sound or something idk). The for statement after that is recognize that if the head of the snake hits another part of the snake, that means it’s game over. For both, it recognizes game end by changing gameEnd to true and then sending an alert to the user (with a kinda mean message I’m sorry but not really) informing the player that they had lost the game.

CONCLUSION

In the end, this game was fun to make! I think if I were to go back and restart the game or add additional features, I would include things that I wanted to but was too overwhelmed to add like a menu where you can choose your display settings or maybe just a whole different project as this one seemed a bit simplistic and easy :P. While coding I realized just how similar this is to java or any coding language really. Truthfully, the only difference would be that of drawing the shapes and figuring out logic behind collisions and the syntax but everything else: the if and for statements, the functions, and logic behind everything is still the same. I think that was why I would’ve appreciated if I took on a harder game or task but, in the end, it was pretty fun to play with.

THE FINAL PRODUCT

Now since you’ve all stuck with me for so long, here’s your reward: a gif demo of the actual game being used :D (if you want access to the full project, I have my github linked :) pls don't judge my abysmal snake skills).