#everything I learned about Cecil was against my knowledge
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I cannot believe the ultimate tumblr sexyman, a competition based on appearance, is a character with supposedly NO canon appearance. It’s like that thing in horror where’s it’s scarier if it’s not described. We let our brains fill in the blank and made the sexiest man ever. I hate this stupid website
#everything I learned about Cecil was against my knowledge#back in my making textposts w no notes era#monstergirl.txt
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I send you stars for the directors cut because I wanna know more but I am overwhelmed with IRL at the moment.
*hugs*
Aw man, I understand the feeling. I'm a little sleep-deprived and overwhelmed right now too, so I'm struggling to come up with a good answer for this...
I guess I'll give some commentary on Who Waits Forever Anyway? since that's the one you're most familiar with
Originally, I struggled with deciding how much of a link Katherine really had with the gods. I wanted originally for her to not have any innate link, and for it to be only her passion for the museum and creation that earned the tablet's favor - but I decided against that, since it leaves the question of why Larry and Nick didn't develop the same abilities, when they have the same connection to the museum
I also didn't want to make her a demigod or direct descendant of the gods. I didn't want to give her too much innate power, since I thought that might cheapen parts of her story and her self-discovery.
Making her a descendant not of Bastet, but of Bastet's original blessing was a spur-of-the-moment decision (I wrote the "a girl walks into a temple" scene all in one go, with minimal editing), but I'm really glad I went with it. It really gave everything a nice balance: explaining why Katherine had a connection to the tablet, but not so much connection that she develops powers on her own. She needs the tablet to act as a catalyst.
My vision for her was that the tablet uses her as a conduit. She doesn't have innate magic of her own, but she's able to use the tablet's energy more effectively than it could on its own. This is also why it affects her inversely from the other exhibits when the tablet begins to die - they grow weaker as the magic fades, but Katherine is flooded with unpredictable magic because the tablet is failing to act as a barrier between her and the gods
To make it simpler, the magic behaves like this: gods > tablet >> exhibits, where magic is passed directly down. As the tablet dies, no magic reaches the exhibits to animate them
However, it also works like this: gods <> tablet <> Katherine, where the tablet provides a link that allows Katherine to "borrow" magic from the gods, and communication goes both ways.
All this time spent exposed to the gods' direct power as the tablet dies may have some unexpected consequences...
I've tried to include references to other Egyptian gods throughout the work, as if they're following Katherine around
She visits Cecil in the old folks' home, which is where Jace first learns about the magic - he plays a role similar to Tawaret, helping tend the older souls and prepare them to comfortably move in. Cecil's also notably gentler and less antagonistic than he is in the first movie, indicating that his soul may be becoming "lighter" and more ready to move on
Katherine's drawings turn cobalt blue after animating them as a reference to Osiris and his blue skin - she's creating life (albeit in a very simple, temporary form) and so is drawing on his power
You noticed that Katherine's name is sometimes shortened to Kat, a hint to Bastet, but being named after Katherine Johnson the rocket scientist is a hint in itself - she contributed to the moon landing, and the tablet is powered by the moon god Khonsu.
There's also a lot of focus on writing and research (the letter, Ahk teaching her to write in hieroglyphs, the research she does into the tablet), which can be tied back to the scribe god Thoth - who also shows her the gods' argument when the tablet begins to die
In general, Katherine's strongest abilities come from the gods she's gained more favor from, mainly by showing respect and placing focus on their domains - Thoth by seeking knowledge, Bastet by protecting the home (the museum), Ptah by creating, etc.
Last thing? Most of the Ahkmenrah x Human OC stories I've read end with the magic granting him a second life, and him becoming fully alive and human so he can grow old with his loved one. As sweet as that is... we're doing something a little more unique here. You'll see ;)
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Heyo I wrote a Thing about that arc (I don't know if I should call it an article or essay or paper, since it lamentably won't be published anywhere). As I see it, the bad thing isn't that they're super technical and follow procedures. Carlos has his own procedures, too. The problem is that they don't stop and listen to others. And they want to explain the reality of Night Vale to its citizens, without actually asking the citizens for information about their own hometown.
Carlos did listen to them. It started with phone calls with Cecil, and apparently at some point he told his team of scientists that they should, too, ask the locals for information. Also, his Method (all the procedures he follows on his research projects) demands him and his team to be in constant contact with the town because it's so weird and so fragile that they need to know what the citizens think. I bet he learned that from It Devours!, where he almost destroyed everything because he didn't listen.
Janet Lubelle and the UOWII follow a method that doesn't listen and considers everything that goes against it as false. They work with their own system of information and measuring but they don't see the possibility that it doesn't apply on Night Vale. They could have done worse damage than Carlos did when he continued measuring the House That Does Not Exist at the end of It Devours, but they wouldn't have cared the slightest because, according to them, the damage caused wouldn't be real.
Science and facts are good actually. They're great and help our society a big deal. But, we shouldn't make science and knowledge a kind of religion or something of the kind, which is what the UOWII did. Things can be questioned, and in that questioning, innovation could come. I'm not saying that the Earth could actually be flat. What I'm saying is that maybe our argument to reply to flat-earthers shouldn't be "oh it's not flat because it's Science" as if Science itself was a kind of god. We should explain with research. With two-way, open conversation. That's the way it should be. Not by imposing anything.
Or idk it's mainly my opinion.
Not sure how i feel about the university arc of wtnv (im catching up). Like I think it's very funny that the biggest threat to the town is someone debunking it, but I also... dont super appreciate the villain being like... too much science and facts... when in reality, we very much have the opposite problem, where people ignore scientists and facts about things like climate change and such. I know Carlos is a scientist but like. Not in any way we would call a scientist maybe? His science is extremely unclear, in comparison to the university. And nightvale has always been social commentary, so where are they going with this?
#if you're interested in a similar pov you could go read Feyerabend. the guy was called 'the worst enemy of science' but he actually wanted#to say that science should be more open to different perspectives.#and not be used as a way of colonialism.#wtnv
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SETTING BOUNDARIES
After Barry came home telling iris everything that happened while she was sick and about the pregnancy test they went to bed holding each other with iris reassuring Barry they still
have time and they are still trying not every pregnancy goes on the first try. But what Barry didn’t know was that iris was seriously mad at Cecile and plans on talking to her the next day.
‘’good morning beautiful’’ Barry says to a groggy iris as he presses kisses on her face
‘’good morning to you to’’ hmm ha-ha ‘’ Barry what has gotten to you this morning’’
‘’ can’t I just want to kiss my wife a beautiful good morning’’
‘’ But seriously this is me saying thank you for the encouraging words last night they really meant a lot’’
‘’ any time babe it's what I’m here for besides’’ iris nudges his shoulders with hers ‘’ we are in this TOGETHER okay’’ she says as she kisses him softly
‘’okay’’ Barry kisses her again
‘’So, what do you have planned for today’’ Barry asks iris as he sits up to yawn and stretch
‘’ Uhm so I wanted to talk to you first about this ‘’
‘’ what about’’ Barry said with his head forming confused lines
‘’ it’s about Cecile I really want to talk to her about showing us some respect and boundaries’’
‘’ Yeah, I was actually going to talk to you about that today we really need to set some rules with her’’
‘’ I totally agree first she shows up at the house completely unannounced saying she has a file to drop off for me and she didn’t even call me to find out if I was home, then wither using her powers to find out what you’re feeling so unprovoked, asking you what’s in your bag that was just doing too much’’
‘’ exactly the way she just went into my mind because I was in a hurry and wouldn’t let her come in and because she spotted your computer bag instead of her to just take the hint and leave, she decided since he won’t tell me I’ll just go snooping in his head for information that has nothing to do with me’’
Iris had already come out of the shower and getting dressed ‘’ that’s right so now I need to go talk with her because this can’t keep going on’’
Iris walks over to Barry to kiss him goodbye
‘’ I love you’’ iris said into the kiss
‘’ I love you too’’
Later that morning after getting her jitters breakfast she called Cecile
‘’ morning Cecile, I need you to come to my office this morning please’’ iris spoke as sharp as she could
‘’ Uhm okay I’m on my way, are you sure you’re okay I can sense that your feeling tense, annoyed-‘’
‘’CECILE just get here NOW’’ iris hangs up the phone quickly trying to calm herself from the oncoming anger from that phone call If this is how she feels with that short call I wonder what it will be like when I actually talk with her
file:///C:/Users/pearl/Downloads/iphone-VnXE.png (this is a text between Barry and iris I didn't know how to post the pic on here)
Cecile enters ‘’hey sweetie you wanted to see me’’ before iris even had a chance to reply
‘’ oh, is this about the negative pregnancy test don’t worry you guys are still young it will be happing in no time, I didn’t even know you guys were trying.’’
Iris keeps balling her fist trying to calm down but Cecile had to make it worse
‘’ sweetie why are you feeling angry just looking in your head I can feel all that anger it's just blocking everything else- ‘’
‘’ ENOUGH CECILE ENOUGH GODDAMMIT WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU’’
‘’Woah iris calm down’’
Iris took a deep breath trying to reel in that anger ‘’ I called you here today to talk about the disgusting/ inappropriate behavior why is it that you find the need to go inside our heads to find out things without our permission? HmMM? You’ve been doing this for a while and we decided to keep quiet about it but yesterday you crossed the line going into my husband’s mind to find out we were trying for a baby and that I might be pregnant is not okay’’
Cecile at least had the decency of looking ashamed and that made iris anger decrease just a little
‘’ My husband went to the privacy of his lab to find out if we were pregnant something that intimates that was between him and me and you intruded on them and now you come here saying my husband and I didn’t inform you we were trying for a baby. Who gave you the idea that you deserved to know that nobody knew except Chester who caught us in the moment.’’
‘’ *gasp* you told Chester before me how could you’’
‘’ are you even listening to yourself we didn’t tell Chester but Chester being the good respectful friend didn’t say anything to anyone, didn’t bother us or invade Barry’s privacy but you did, you don’t need to know when my husband and I are going to try to have a baby nobody needs to know until we tell them, are you part of my marriage demanding intimate knowledge that doesn’t concern you.’’
‘’ and what made this worse is that you willing went with Barry to go get my testing done when he didn’t need you there at all. What if my test had come back positive huh? You would have been comfortable knowing I was pregnant before I did like who does that. That was supposed to be an intimate moment between Barry and me NOT you, me, and Barry this isn’t a throuple you aren’t in our relationship.’’ Defeated iris just seats back on her chair.
‘’ honestly Cecile this has got to stop I know for a fact you and my dad had this problem when you first got the powers you kept going into his mind you can’t keep invading people’s privacy. This was supposed to be a surprise that you get to be mama Cecile but you almost ruined that and it sucks that I’m grateful that the test result came in negative when I should be sad about that news not happy that I’m not pregnant and it's so unfortunate so what I need from you is space right now give me and my husband space don’t come near us just keep your distance when we get pregnant you can come back around and after that if you ever and I mean ever go into our heads without our permission we will cut you out of our lives regardless of if your my dad's girlfriend or not do I make myself clear’’ iris said with so much steel and certainty in her voice
Cecile gulped she hadn’t meant to cause this much trouble she just wanted to know ‘’ yes iris I understand and I am truly sorry for all of this’’ with that said Cecile turned around and left iris office.
Iris took a deep breath and let herself think again because she had to block those because of Cecile and she didn’t trust her right now but getting some distance from her right now is for the best.
Iris picked up her things and packed her bags no longer feeling up for work today she contemplated on calling Barry to fathwoop her home but she decided against it
Closing the door and putting her key on the table iris called out to Barry ‘’ honey? I’m home’’
‘’ hey sweetie’’ mwah Barry kisses her deeply ‘’ so how did the talk go’’
‘’ uh it was stressful ‘’ iris walk to go sit on the couch ‘’ but I think I got through to her, I also told her to distance herself from us until we conceive then she can come back around us I would have made it to last until we found out about the sex and if we were going to share it but since we already know I just told her until I get pregnant, she should keep her distance so yeah’’
‘’ and how do you feel about that’’
‘’ look I care for Cecile but at the moment I don’t trust her and its tiring to hide my emotions and thoughts around her all the time just because she can’t be a dissenting person and mind her business so I think this is for the best and I hope she learns her lesson from this’’
Barry sits next to her and pulls her feet to his thighs massaging them ‘’ I am sorry you have to go through this its meant to be the happiest days of our lives and I’m sorry she ruined it for us’’
‘’ We are going to be okay’’
‘’ yes, we are’’
‘’ thank you for being the best husband ever and for always listening to me’’
‘’ you, are very much welcome’’
#westallen#iris west#barry x iris#the flash#fanfic#fanfiction#westallen fic#westallen fanfiction#cecil deserves it
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Totally here fangirling over last chapter but also wanted to run this by you, I really really want Sera to get her powers back before John fight Arlo. Because if she does I have no doubt in my mind she’d get involved to protect her new friends and end “Joker” once and for all. Her fighting John with all of he skills he taught her + her powers + John not wanting to hurt her = Sera demasking Joker and I just think that would be beautiful
(This was the ask i lost an 1000 word answer on R.I.P.)
Sorry this is so late btw
I really like this take. It’s completely possible and would be really fun to read. When I imagine how this current saga is going to end, it’s usually something like this.
Also thank you for this ask because it lead me to realize how much I need a proper Sera and Arlo friendship.
Ok 4 things i want to address:
1. Seraphina getting her powers back
2. Getting involved with the Joker situation
3. Fighting against Joker
4. Aftermath
1.) so this theory (?) is very reliant upon one main thing: Seraphina getting her powers back. This could easily be solved because I mean, it’s pretty likely it’s going to be actually canon soon in the series. Leilah’s appearance was obviously put in where it was so that she would learn about Seraphina. Then, Leila having (supposedly) worked with EMBER or at least the company supplying them, will have the knowledge and resources to heal her sister.
Some things that are unknown, however, are Leilah’s intentions. We don’t really know what her point of view will be. We barely know her, having actually met her character once. Something else to consider, she ran away from home years ago. She will not be as close to Seraphina as she might have been once. We don’t know if Leila’s will prioritize her sister over her work, another thing we know little about. Though likely, us readers are very much guessing that Leila’s works with an organization affliliated with EMBER (which is why I said “supposedly” above). We don’t know if Leilah even actually works at a place that would give her the tools to help Sera. Her reaction at the restaurant may have just been because it was her sister, not that she knew the reason behind Seraphina’s ability loss. Even if she really worked close to EMBER, Leilah could totally be loyal to them. I don’t know. Her character is just so unknown for me to rely upon her to bring back Sera’s powers. Though, that probably is what’s going to happen because lmao why bring back Leilah at all if not for that. So that’s settled lol.
I don’t know how Leilah would bring back Seraphina’s powers. I don’t know anything about EMBER or the drugs they use, that’s the whole point. So I can’t really explain anything there, we just gotta wait.
2.) Okay, now that Serpahina has her powers back, something else I’m wondering about is why and if Seraphina would fight against Joker.
Ask just assumed that she would, to help her friends, but it really goes a lot deeper than that.
She has 3 separate groups of friends: High-tiers, low-tiers, and John (lol)
Most of her high-tier friends have already been defeated by Joker
She said she wanted to see Joker kick Arlo’s ass
She seemed to accept it when John said that he was just climbing up the ladder
But, overall, I agree with ask. Seraphina is going to fight Joker if she is able and that list is a shorter one:
Remi
Low-tiers
Though many of the high-tiers can be considered as fake friends to Seraphina, it’s been clear from the beginning that Remi has always been genuine. They might not have been the best of friends, but Remi and Sera respected each other and didn’t pretend to like each other. And guess what. Remi’s going to get beat up soon. Well, maybe. Depends on what this Remi and John conversation meant to John. Let’s assume things end badly. Remi’s a goner okay. Seraphina is a goodish person. She’s not going to let her just get k.o.ed
A problem with this is that by the time Sera supposedly gets her powers back, it’ll probably be after the whole john and Remi fight. And that’s why I have reason #2
Sera’s low-tier friends are afraid of Joker. They have told her that he’ll be able to do pretty much everything because he won’t have to face the consequences. I don’t know. They just spooked. They won’t be able to even attempt to fight back if Joker wants to duke it out. Seraphina, like I said, is a goodish person. She knows the low-tiers gave her true friendship even after she was an unbothered god-tier that couldn’t care less about them. She’ll be grateful and at least her perspective will have changed.
So if Seraphina finds herself in the position to fight back, she’s not going to just stand back like she did before. That was the old Serpahina: untouchable and uncaring. New Sera is aware of what her actions do to the lives of those around her. She knows that she is one of the only people that can do this, that can stick up for the low (and every) tiers. She gon do that.
So yeah, Sera’s fighting Joker.
3.) When Sera does fight him: I’m wondering a few things. First: things that ask mentioned:
Fighting how John taught her
Her abilities
John holding back
I’m not sure if Seraphina will actually use the tactics that John taught her when she’s fighting Joker. It could go either way. Initially, I thought that she obviously wouldn’t use them. John taught her fist fighting tactics. She learned how to throw a punch, how to block. Now, tell me why she would use those when she has her powers back and she is fighting against someone with an ability?
Then I remembered John’s ability. Aura manipulation. If Sera uses her power, he’d be able to use it too. And we have all observed by now that the stronger ability he borrows, the stronger John is. Remember, we haven’t seen John borrow an ability stronger than his, we don’t know what will happen. But, using her ability in general would be a major hazard. So using fists to fight is a good idea (in theory only because she doesn’t know how good Joker is at that too).
I personally think she would use her powers the most if the author went through the trouble of giving them back. Sure, she’d throw a punch is Joker got close, but I don’t think her type of ability will really suit close range fighting (i think, her ability confused me lol). So yeah. This isn’t really important to the whole of this idea, but I mean it was in the ask and I wanted to address it.
So that was the first and second points.
Now, onto something else ask said. They seemed to think John would hold back on Seraphina. I think it’s a little more grey than that.
Things to remember:
John was allied with Cecile and still went to far
Joker’s whole brand is merciless
The reason the high-tiers want him gone is because he doesn’t know where to stop, he keeps fighting even when the fight’s done.
Other things to remember:
Seraphina is John’s closest friend
Joker only exists because John wanted to protect Sera
Joker’s most common motive is to keep Sera safe
Cecile was more of a partner than a friend: he doesn’t care about her
So basically, I’m confused and I don’t know what John will do. Like ask thinks, John loves Seraphina (platonically, calm down). But he also is feared because he is completely merciless. Dark John’s character can be described by that one word: merciless. Let’s go down memory lane, k? Back to New Bostin. Remember Claire? Remember Claire? Same thing, guys. John’s best friend betrays him and turns on him and he crushes her into pieces.
Like I really don’t know what John would do if fighting Seraphina, and that includes whether or not he would hold back.
I’m going to skip the details of the fight and who I think would win because, like I said above, Sera’s ability vs. John’s would be too new for me to predict the outcome. And why bother. This headcanon kind of relies upon Sera winning so let’s just assume that for now.
4.) aftermath. Do you even understand how dramatic that reveal is going to be? How traumatized both of them are going to be afterwords? For Seraphina, she’s discovering that the guy beating people up and trying to beat her up is her best friend. Beyond that, he has an ability, which ultimately means everything she knew about him and respected him for is a lie. For John, he’s basically reliving the events of New Bostin, reliving the thing that ruined his life. Reliving what he tried to move on from for over a year.
How I think they’ll end up:
Seraphina: I think that Seraphina and John will cut ties with each other. Seraphina will want to hate John, but can’t help wanting to talk to him and laugh with him. She can’t seem to forget the person he was when he was with her. The humble and nice guy. She knows he doesn’t exist now. That he never did. The thought makes her sad, and she hates it. John did this to himself, brought this onto himself. He had dragged Seraphina into his mess, never confiding in her. It’s not her fault that he turned out to be such an asshole.
Seraphina becomes good friends with Arlo. After the fight, she feels he is the only one that understands her. She feels bad because she didn’t trust him when he tried to tell her the truth. She hasn’t apologized, but hopes Arlo knows that she’s sorry. They start spending lots of time together. It reminds her of the old days. When Seraphina first arrived at Wellston. Arlo had been king and she was queen. They were forced together because of their power and they bonded through that. They both had ambition, goals, a want to make things better for the students at Wellston and a need to prove themselves. They had been young then, and Serpahina had considered Arlo a friend. Then John came along and changed everything. Seraphina cant be ashamed of who she became because of him. If not for John, she would’ve remained ignorant about the mistreatment of low-tiers and EMBER. If not for him, she would’ve never learned how to laugh or how to reward herself. If not for John, she never would’ve stood up to her mom...
Now that Seraphina is back, all of her, her ability and rank, she feels whole again. Seraphina may have gotten used to the cripple life, but she never realized exactly how much her ability was a part of her. Now reinstituted as queen, Sera is with Arlo again. Nowadays, it feels like he’s the only one who knows what she’s going through. Seraphina realizes that he’s changed too. In the past year, he’s turned from the cold and ruthless leader she knew him as into a thoughtful, logical, and surprisingly kind person. He’s humbler too, which is new.
Sometimes they just lie on the roof together, not talking or saying anything, just enjoying each other’s company. It’s comforting not being alone. Seraphina finds it hard to trust him sometimes, but it doesn’t matter much. Though they like to spend most of their time in each other’s company, they don’t talk much, don’t tell each other things. They’ve known each other for so long, they don’t need to. And it’s nice. Seraphina... she’s happy. She may have lost her best friend, but she gained an old one. Her sister talks to her every so often because Leilah’s always in town visiting her boyfriend. Everyone is nice to Seraphina at school.
Seraphina knows she can’t ignore John forever, can’t just forget that he exists, but oh she wants to. In a perfect world, she could lie on this rooftop forever, carefree and forgetful, but she knows she can’t. Because this is not a perfect world. Seraphina tries to help the low-tiers defend themselves and tries to bring awareness to EMBER. Remi aids her in her ambitions, having similar ones herself, and their bond also grows stronger.
Seraphina is finally making a difference. It hurts to know that it’s because of John, but at least she’s trying. She’s better than she was before. Kinder. Stronger. Healthier. Seraphina realizes that for the first time in her life, she really has the chance to truly be completely happy. She���s not about to let someone’s memory ruin it for her.
John: After the fight, John was a wreck. He barely ate for a week, barely slept. Everytime he closes his eyes he sees her. And everytime, John breaks down because he can’t tell who she is. Can’t tell if she has pink eyes or blue ones. Can’t tell if she even exists.
In the end, it doesn’t matter. Claire, Seraphina... it ended the same. Ended with him sitting in these rooms, hands in chains, head pounding.
John isn’t really sure why they bothered to get him into these classes again. The authorities didn’t seem to care when he wore the mask. They didn’t bat an eye at a student climbing the ranks. John supposes he’s only here because of his past. And he can’t blame them. He’s really fucked up.
The classes are better than they used to be. They go faster. John knows all the right answers this time around. And Keon hasn’t returned, something John appreciates everyday. Instead there’s this strict lady running his classes. She’s not great, but so much better than Keon. She seems like she has a good heart.
When John got in here, he made a promise to himself. He promised himself that he wouldn’t forget. God he wanted to. He wanted to forget Wellston like he forgot New Bostin. But he knows how that ended up last time. He forgot too much. Those who forget history are doomed to repeat it.
Everyday, he listed in his head: Claire, Arlo, Blyke, Isen, Cecile, Remi, Seraphina. He won’t let himself forget them. What he did to them. What they did to him.
When John gets out of his readjustment classes, he is more than surprised to find Cecile waiting for him. She doesn’t say much about what happened, and isn’t all that friendly, but he can’t complain. He treated her like trash. But for some reason, she sticks around. She visits his house. She talks to him about his new school. They text. It’s weird to have her. John realizes he doesn’t know anyone else quite like Cecile. Something he never really realized about her before is her genuineness. Yeah sure, she would keep secrets, but everything she did and said, everything screamed Cecile. She never put on a show to talk to him or a new personality that others would. It was refreshing. Cecile wasn’t instantly nice to him and it was great. She reminded him a lot of Seraphina... John wish she didn’t.
Seraphina... John wants to talk to her so badly... but he knows she won’t. He lied to her for the entire time she knew him. They were best friends. John still gets shocked sometimes as he remembers what he hid from her, all the secrets he kept. It never seemed like a lot at the time, only a little secret at a time. He hadn’t realized until recently that by the end, he was drowning in lies. Small ones and big. They had wrapped and choked him like a snake..
John stays silent at his new school. He’s friendly to everyone and greets people when they greet him. He doesn’t lie here. At a regular school, John is basically guaranteed the king spot. He doesn’t shy away from it. He tries not to embrace it too much either. It’s a difficult balance, but he manages.
He manages. And he remembers.
————————————————————————
After all of this, I think they’ll kind of hate each other but also kind of not because of how close they are and still remain despite (Sera) wanting to hate the other. Then when ember starts becoming near future, they will be forced together to solve something or whatnot as the two strongest people. I can’t even express how much I want this now. Sorry for super long post. I get carried away sometimes... oof. Sorry for that weird story thing at the end. I probably could’ve written that more generic and narrative, but eh
(comment “arphina” if you read the whole thing) :)
#webtoon#unordinary#unordinary webtoon#uruchan#uru-chan#line webtoon#webcomic#john doe#seraphina#official
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Smiles
@heckyeahharrisco
harriscofest 2019 prompt: void
“Smiles Through the Void”
This one point of comforting light keeps him tethered, keeps him bound so he would not float away into unreachable space.
~2k words
[ Be my friend, hold me Wrap me up, unfold me I am small, I'm needy Warm me up and breathe me ]
[ Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found Yeah, I think that I might break Lost myself again and I feel unsafe ]
The world is big. Every day he shrinks. Invisible walls grow until he has no hope of scaling them. There are questions without answers. There are answers without questions. He can’t reconnect the threads unwinding around him.
Existing is painful. It's confusing, exhausting, and difficult. Was it this way before - or has it been the same forever? He can't recall. He can't even try. Something in him claws at the hollowness, searching and searching, a futile endeavor. His anger and sadness are trapped inside, unable to be expressed. He can copy others, but he can't comprehend them in any way beyond basic surface level.
"What's my name Harry?"
Name. He doesn't know name. He doesn't know Harry. The frustration swirls in him, but it's trapped like a tiger pacing in a small cage. There's a beat, a mist that passes through, reminding him of someone who threw things. He stares at his palm.
"Harry?"
That sweet voice. It digs into his chest and makes a home there. He continues staring at his appendage, stuck in his loop.
"It's okay. If you can't - if you don't know. You can tell me."
"You're the. You're. One. The one... with."
He's the one with the hair. The one who can do anything. The one holding his heart. Something about the hair - curly, soft, thick, strong, scented, tickling hair. He knows it in his gut, even though he can't form the - the what? His mouth doesn't move further. The one with the hair leans forward and makes noises into his chest. He touches the hair and curls his fingers into the strands.
Smiles.
He likes it when the one with the hair looks at him, talks to him, smiles at him. Sometimes, his own lips twitch upward in an imitation. He feels hot inside, and his heart beats faster. This one point of comforting light keeps him tethered, keeps him bound so he would not float away into unreachable space. What does it mean?
Cold.
His hands are always cold. He rubbed his palms together, ineffectively, and wonders what’s missing. The marker is a comfort. For as long as he can still grip the marker, he writes on the board. The one with the hair will hand him the marker when he drops it and smiles at him. One day, he can’t grip it again. There’s no smile. It gives him a chill.
In quiet moments he wants to give into the force collapsing his mind. He wants to let the dark matter run rampant. He wouldn’t mind if the speed force consumed him. The one. He is always there to pull him out. There’s a smile, a glance, or a touch that prevents him from falling into nothing.
The fast one is too loud. He’s too something. His skin prickles around the fast one. Get away. He walks away. The one with the hair wraps a hand around his elbow and guides him in a different direction. Even if he wanted to, he would be helpless, unable to struggle. Yet, he is not afraid.
Blue swirls. He likes them, coming into existence so sudden and just as quickly disappearing. He doesn’t know what they are, exactly, or how they happen. He does see that the one with the hair makes them. He pulls him through them into a new place.
People look at him. He looks back. What do they want? What do the lines in their faces mean? They do not smile much. When they do, it isn’t the same as the one.
He reaches for the one. In response, fingers slip through his. He can’t tighten his hand, but the one holds him tight enough for both.
“Pretty,” he says.
“Huh? What’s pretty?”
The one with the hair looks at him, no smile. There are lines bunching up in his face, around his eyes and mouth, that shouldn’t be there. He failed. It takes him a long moment to remember how legs work. He walks over. His hand twitches, wanting to smooth them away, but he can’t force his arm to move. Slowly, he drops his face into the other’s hair. He can’t think, he doesn’t know, but he can feel, feel, feel. The one strokes the back of his neck. He doesn’t move until the one makes him. He’s smiling, but something isn’t right about it. Why?
He runs into things. It hurts. He can’t stop. He plucks at objects that often have the one with the hair rushing to take them away. When he bleeds, the one helps him keep it inside. The one helps him eat, shower, get dressed. He can manage finger foods, even after he can no longer manage the drinks. He can push blocks around and press buttons. The one will smile and murmur encouragement that he can’t understand, but he can feel it, fuzzy in his chest.
He breathes. The one with the hair smells good too. He stares at his fingers. The one tries to show him how to hold things. He can rarely manage it. Wait. Was he good at it once? His eyes burn and feel heavy. There’s wet heat sliding down his cheeks. The one rubs it away and puts his lips there.
The one says, “Thank God you remember how to use the bathroom. If I had to change you I think I’d cry. Not that I haven’t been… nevermind. It makes sense, since it’s one of the earliest skills you learn. God. No one else seems to give a fuck beyond pitying you… I know they have other pressing issues but still.”
The rumble of the one’s voice is soothing. He doesn’t comprehend what the one is saying, but he smiles and nods. He doesn’t know what crying is. The one should smile. He should always smile.
“You. Need. Smile. More? No cry,” he pleads. The one smiles in response. He’s successful. He adds, “So - saw - so - saw - so - sorry.”
“It’s not your fault Harry. I mean. It is, kind of. But. We’ve all been desperate and made stupid mistakes.”
“Not.”
The one sighs, “Yeah.”
The one pats him on the shoulder. He mimics the action. His palm feels warm after. He holds it against his face and closes his eyes.
He wants to do it again the next day, but he doesn’t remember how. Eventually, he forgets why he wanted to touch the shoulder of the one with the hair. He feels like he shouldn’t be allowed.
“I can feel,” he blurted out of the blue one day.
There’s a jolt. Stars and light dance around him, and he can distinguish shapes. He knows what they are, what they mean. What it all means.
“Tell me what you feel,” the one insisted.
“You.”
“Can you… possibly be more specific? I know it’s hard but -”
He had enough control of his fingers to brush them on the one’s on the table.
“I feel you. All you.”
“Got ya. I mean that - I can’t make sense of that - but thank you for sharing it with me.”
He gasps at the information onslaught, the absolute flood of knowledge and memory. As his memories reach his mid-adulthood, it starts to slow severely. He distantly relives events he would’ve rather kept pushed into the deepest parts of his mind. Memories return, the science, math, physics, language, lags behind more and more down the line. It’s there, he can feel it, as of yet lacking the stimulation to be unlocked.
In any case, he gasps and drinks it in like a dehydrated person escaping the desert. He remembers his name. Harrison Wells. Harry. Nicknamed so they could avoid calling him Dr. Wells, actually Thawne, the conniving thief. He remembers Tess, Jesse, so many others from his Earth, Barry, Iris, Wally, Joe, Cecile, their adventures, everything.
Some parts are not so good, like the war, losing his wife, his daughter’s independence, the horrifying aspects of fighting evil.
He remembers Cisco. He remembers being in love with Cisco.
Cisco’s brilliance shines through the darkness and reaches for him. Harry reaches back across the formerly endless void and finds balance again. Perhaps, it’s proper balance for the first time in ages. Cisco. He reaches for Cisco. They talk, they touch, and Harry feels so warm and at home with the skin contact. His genius hasn’t fully returned. It’s not ready. He’s not of a mind to care yet. He needs to process.
Cisco is his life, his heart, his air. Without Cisco, he’d still be nothing. He quickly understands there are other factors involved. It doesn’t matter. He has to say it. He didn’t have the words before, not even before, before. They wait to be unfolded from his tongue.
“I love you too.”
Technically, Cisco didn’t speak of love, not in the words. Harry can see it in Cisco’s eyes and heart it in his voice, but he could always feel it in his touch. Even when he knew nothing else, some part of him could feel it and depend upon it. Home. I feel you.
Cisco reacts in a nervous manner, silent and stiff. It isn’t the reaction Harry wants or expects after everything that’s happened. His heart aches. His mind whirls. Harry considers leaving. He has a memory flash of Cisco wiping his tears and kissing him tenderly on the cheek. He doesn’t know what holds Cisco back now. Harry just wants to hold Cisco. He can’t go, not now.
Cisco does breach him to see Jesse. They have dinner. Cisco reaches to help Harry before correcting himself. He blushes and tucks his hair. Jesse raises an eyebrow, and she wisely doesn’t ask or comment. They talk and laugh, and it sparks hope.
Weeks passed, Harry spending most of it Cisco’s Earth.
When they’re alone, Harry repeats, “I love you Cisco. Don’t forget that.”
Harry forgot. He never wants to forget again, a single thing about Cisco. He wants to have his center, his gravity. Else he would become lost.
“Right.” Cisco fiddles with his tools. Harry yanks it from his hands, his soft, warm hands, and throws it across the room.
Cisco whines. “I was using that!”
“I meant it. I know I’m not alone in this -”
“Is this you? Or is it because I - I was the only one who really took care of you. So this -”
“You were the one. But I fell in love with you long before I was brain blasted, Ramon. It merely took being stripped of every single thing except feelings for me to accept it for the beautiful thing that is and stop being terrified.”
“Oh. Okay.” Cisco chews on his bottom lip. He abruptly changes the subject, “How’s relearning coming along?”
Harry realizes he’s not, out of the two of them, the one truly most scared.
“My brain is surprisingly receptive,” Harry replies, playing along for the moment. “Snow says it’s got more active, open pathways than I probably had as a teenager. I’m breezing through the coursework. It might never be the exact same, but in some ways it’s almost exciting.”
“Nice.”
Harry stares at him with impatient expectations. Cisco doesn’t move. Harry takes Cisco’s hands in his own. He strokes the knuckles, focusing on the sensation of skin. He wants to kiss where his fingertips make contact, but he hasn’t yet received permission for that kind of behavior.
“You don’t have to speak the words if you’re not ready. Just let me know, in some way.”
Cisco takes a shuddering inhale. His eyes are shiny. Harry may not like it when he cries. Regardless, if he does, Harry will be there for him. Cisco was there for him, too.
One of Cisco’s hands slides free. His fingers lightly grace Harry’s cheek. They card through his hair. Low he murmurs, “You’re the one.”
Harry smiles. A smile forms on Cisco’s face a second later, brightening the room and his heart. Cisco kisses the corner of his mouth. Cisco rests for a moment, his breath gusting across Harry’s chin. Harry waits patiently until Cisco surges upward, and they claim each other’s mouths. Cisco plunders him slow, prying his mouth open with his tongue. Harry grinds his fingertips into the warmth of Cisco’s shoulders. Harry feels cherished and grounded.
He rolls the memories of the progress of his relationship with Cisco through his mind over and over, from the tense animosity to the all-consuming love. He wants to tuck them away into a box where they’d be safe from harm. Cisco sucks on his tongue and bites his lip before he completely pulls away.
“Damn.” Harry mutters, “This... this connection we have... is amazing, Cisco. What were we waiting for?”
“Tell me about it.”
“I will. In detail, because I can,” Harry responds. He tucks his face into Cisco’s neck. His hair tickles Harry’s cheek. “If you want me to do that.”
“Oh God, yes.”
He moves to wrap his arms completely around Harry, and they just breathe.
Together.
#harrisco#my fic#harriscofest2019#the flash S4#i know i'm going backwards in time#S5 who? I don't know her TT_TT
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ADOW like Reading Recs
For all my fellow fans of the All Souls World, but especially fans of Shadow of Night. Here is a reading list I started after i first finished the All Souls Trilogy, when I began to want more fiction set in that slightly alternate and very magical 16th century London Deborah Harkness created. This is a list books I loved and have to share.
Strange Devices of the Sun and Moon by Lisa Goldstein:
Elizabethan London of 1590 is an intense city, overflowing with life and action, a city of spies and booksellers, alchemists and playwrights, poets, witches, plague and salvation. A series of strange events links the lives of St. Paul bookseller Alice Wood, the great writer Christopher Marlowe, the Faerie Queen as her court invades London to wage war amidst the intrigues of Queen Elizabeth I’s own court, as well as in the streets and courtyards among the unseeing populace. They are in search of a boy claiming to be the reborn King Arthur. Marlowe must become in effect a detective, and Alice, strangely favored by the fairies, must become a heroine in a struggle against evil forces, culminating in a magnificent battle fought in the heart of London.
What to Love:
History
16th century London: 1590
Christopher Marlow and Thomas Kyd
St. Paul’s Bookstalls, book selling rights
Fae London, Seelie and Unseelie court intrigue and war.
Alice Wood, a female member of London’s Stationer’s Guild: rare!
Arthurian legend, alchemy, magic, poets, playwrights, dragons?
The Alchemist’s Door by Lisa Goldstein:
Scientist, mathematician, and court astrologer to Queen Elizabeth I, John Dee is also one of the sixteenth-century's most renowned alchemists, he is driven by a passion to fathom the elemental secrets of the cosmos. But when his reckless assistant, Edward Kelley, succeeds in using a crystal sphere to summon angels, Dee is catapulted into an awesome struggle that may extinguish the light of reason forever. One of the spirits invoked is a cunning demon who takes possession of Dee's young daughter, Katherine, and shows Dee a frightening vision of his own future.
Terrified by what has been foretold, Dee abruptly decides to close his house in London and flee to Europe with his long-suffering wife, Jane, and their two young children. Their desperate flight brings them at last to the city of Prague--a center of culture, knowledge, and learning, both sacred and profane, a gateway between the Eastern and Western worlds, and also, it is whispered, a door between our world and the world of the spirits. There, in the city's ancient streets, Dee encounters the mystic Rabbi Judah Loew, who enlists his aid in the creation of a Golem--a man fashioned from the clay--to defend the city's Jewish Quarter from persecution. And he asks Dee's help to avert a impending crisis that threatens to engulf the world. For ancient legends say that the fate of the world rests on shoulders of thirty-six righteous men. And if one of those righteous men dies before his time, the world will end and dark spirits will remake it in their own image.
What to Love:
History
16th Century London, Prague, and Krakow, Poland : 1582
John Dee, Edward Kelley, Empirer Rudolf II, Rabbi Judah Loew, Jane Dee
The Golem of Prague...PRAGUE!!
Angels, demons, demon possession, conversations with angels, alchemy, mysticism, apocalypses.
The School of Night by Alan Wall:
BBC editor Sean Tallow has only two overriding desires in life. One is to step into the shoes of his glamorous friend Daniel Pagett, and the other is to establish the truth about the School of Night, a shadowy group of Elizabethans who clustered around Sir Walter Raleigh.
Tallow pursues the School of Night and its entanglement in the question of whether the man from Stratford-upon-Avon could really have written the plays ascribed to William Shakespeare. If he didn't, then who did? The harder he studies, the less light is thrown on this troublesome question, and the more his interest in the School of Night becomes a grim fixation.
Just when it seems Tallow is ready to give up the quest, day becomes night and everything he once believed is turned on its head as he enters a fearful world where there are no longer any rules except survival. Like the original members of the School of Night, he finds himself treading on the wrong side of the law.
What to Love:
History
Theft
The School of Night
Sir Walter Raleigh, Thomas Hariot/Harriot, Christopher Marlowe, William Shakespeare
Oxford, and Bradford England
A debate about who wrote Shakspeares plays.
The School of Night by Louis Bayard:
In the late sixteenth century, five brilliant scholars gather under the cloak of darkness to discuss God, politics, astronomy, and the black arts. Known as the School of Night, they meet in secret to avoid the wrath of Queen Elizabeth. But one of the men, Thomas Harriot, has secrets of his own, secrets he shares with one person only: the servant woman he loves.
In modern-day Washington, D.C., disgraced Elizabethan scholar Henry Cavendish has been hired by the ruthless antiquities collector Bernard Styles to find a missing letter. The letter dates from the 1600s and was stolen by Henry's close friend, Alonzo Wax. Now Wax is dead and Styles wants the letter back. But the letter is an object of interest to others, too. It may be the clue to a hidden treasure; it may contain a mysterious and long-sought alchemical formula; it most certainly will prove the existence of the group of men whom Shakespeare dubbed the School of Night but about whom little is known.
Joining Henry in his search for the letter is Clarissa Dale, a mysterious woman who suffers from visions that only Henry can understand. In short order, Henry finds himself stumbling through a secretive world of ancient perils, caught up in a deadly plot, and ensnared in the tragic legacy of a forgotten genius.
What to Love:
16Th/17th Century London
The Tower of London
The School of Night
Henry Percy aka They Wizard Earl aka Hal aka The Earl of Northhunbarland, Christopher ‘Kit’ Marlowe, Thomas Harriot/Hariot, Sir Walter Raleigh
A disgrace Elizaabethan scholar, mystery, treasure, alchemy, history, romance.
Veronica by Nicholas Christopher:
On a snowy night in February, at the improbable point in Lower Manhattan where Waverly Place intersects Waverly Place, a 30-year-old freelance photographer named Leo meets elusive, strangely beautiful Veronica, a magician's daughter and assistant, she leads him into a world where illusion blends seamlessly with reality—a luminously transformed city where powerful underground streams crisscross beneath the streets, a city of dragonpoints and Tibetan mysticism where real time is magically altered. Ten years have passed since Veronica’s father, the famous magician Albin White, disappeared while performing a dangerous feat of time travel before a packed theater audience.
White’s disappearance was no accident: he was sabotaged by his apprentice Starwood, who interfered at a critical moment and sent him hurtling into the past, free to explore other eras but with no means of returning to the present. Veronica and a small group of family and friends have spent the last 10 years preparing to bring her father back from his limbo, and the bewildered Leo will be an important part of their perilous plan.
What to Love:
New York
Time Travel
The School of Night
Magic, magicians, Tibetan Mysticism, Illusion
The Bones of Avalon by Phil Rickman:
A country divided. A newly crowned, desperately vulnerable young queen. Can one man uncover the secret that will save her throne?
It is 1560, and Elizabeth Tudor has been on the throne for a year. Dr. John Dee, at 32 already acclaimed throughout Europe, is her astrologer and consultant in the hidden arts… a controversial appointment in these days of superstition and religious strife.
When dangerous questions of Elizabeth's legitimacy arise, the mild, bookish Dee finds himself summoned before William Cecil, who tasks him with an important mission. Along with Robert Dudley, Dee's daring friend and former student who is also rumored to be the Queen's secret lover, Dee must travel to the famously mystical town of Glastonbury to find the missing bones of King Arthur. Once these long-lost relics, the embodiment of a legacy vitally important to the Tudor line, are ensconced in London, doubts as to the Queen's supremacy as the rightful Tudor heir will be dispelled.
But the quest quickly turns deadly—Dee and Dudley arrive in Glastonbury to discover the town mourning the gruesome execution of its abbot, and more death soon follows at the old abbey. Racing to uncover the secrets buried there, Dee finds himself caught in the tangled roots of English magic, unexpected violence, the breathless stirring of first love… and the cold heart of a complex plot against Elizabeth.
Sequel: The Heresy of Dr. Dee
What to Love:
16th century Elizabethan London: 1560
John Dee, Queen Elizabeth I, Robert Dudley, William Cecil
Medieval mystery, murder, witchcraft, Arthurian legend, court drama, Tudor politics, magic.
Heresy by S.J. Parris
A blending true events with fiction, this historical thriller a page-turning murder mystery set on the sixteenth-century Oxford University campus.
Giordano Bruno was a monk, poet, scientist, and magician on the run from the Roman Inquisition on charges of heresy for his belief that the Earth orbits the sun and that the universe is infinite. This alone could have gotten him burned at the stake, but he was also a student of occult philosophies and magic.
Bruno's pursuit of this rare knowledge brings him to London, where he is unexpectedly recruited by Queen Elizabeth I and is sent undercover to Oxford University on the pretext of a royal visitation. Officially Bruno is to take part in a debate on the Copernican theory of the universe; unofficially, he is to find out whatever he can about a Catholic plot to overthrow the queen.
His mission is dramatically thrown off course by a series of grisly murders and a spirited and beautiful young woman. As Bruno begins to discover a pattern in these killings, he realizes that no one at Oxford is who he seems to be. Bruno must attempt to outwit a killer who appears obsessed with the boundary between truth and heresy.
Sequels: Prophecy, Sacrilege, Treachery, Conspiracy, and short story The Secret Dead
What to Love:
16th Century London and Oxford
History
Giordano Bruno, William Cecil, Francis Wallsingham, Elizabeth I
Murder, espionage, mystery, philosophical debate, science history, scientists, poets
The Book of Splendor by Frances Sherwood
A historical novel about the most unlikely of lovers, interwoven with the mysticism of the Jewish occult. The Book of Splendor is novel that brings to life the experience of the Jewish community during a period of oppression and rebirth in seventeenth-century Prague. This is an adventure-filled romance stocked with court intrigue and political tension, including the machinations of the rival Ottoman Empire, the religious controversies of Protestantism, and the constant threat of violence to the Jewish community. At the heart of the novel is Rochel, a bastard seamstress who escapes poverty through an arranged marriage to the tailor Zev, but falls in love with Yossel, the Golem created by Rabbi Loew to protect the Jewish community. Meanwhile, Emperor Rudolph II puts the safety of all Prague at risk in his mad bid for an elixir of immortality.
What to Love:
History
16th/17th century Prague: 1601
John Dee, Edward Kelley, Rabbi Loew, The Golem of Prague, Mad Emperor Rudolph II
Alchemy, Jewish Occult lore, mysticism, court intrigue, political tension, romance
Descriptions mostly from Goodreads
If anyone else has any books they have found, please do share!!! These are just the ones I have found, loved and needed everyone to know about. This is a short list, and I do have more, but it’s a great start if you are hungry while waiting for more ADOW. Tell me what you think!
#ADOW#No one asked about this#but here it is#School of NIght#Shadow of Night#all souls trilogy#Deborah Harkness#A Discovery of Witches#Lisa Goldstein#Strange Devices of the Sun and Moon#The Alchemist's Door#Alan Wall#Louis Bayard#Veronica#Nicholas Christopher#The Bones of Avalon#Phil Rickman#S.J. Parris#Herisy#The Book of Spledor#Frances Sherwood#Elizabethans#16th Century Fiction#Historical Fiction#Christopher Marlowe#William Shakespeare#Queen Elizabeth I#early modern england#The Golem of Prague#Prague
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On the eleventh day of Ficmas, hoffkk gave to me...
Eleven Months of Waiting (A Snowbarry Fanfic)
*******
Barry was staring at the Jitters menu, trying to decide what he was in the mood for. He wanted something that was sweet and comforting.
"One peppermint hot chocolate, please." A familiar female voice called out, totally reading his mind.
"Make that two." Barry interjected quickly, handing the barista a twenty.
"Hey, Bare." Caitlin smiled. "You don't have to do that, you know. I can pay for my own." She added, gesturing to the change he received from the barista and was now pocketing.
"Please, it's the least I can do, considering how much you've been there for me over the last few months." He told her honestly. When Iris got a job offer at big newspaper out of state that she couldn't pass up, their engagement was effectively ended. Barry took it real hard, but Caitlin was there for him when he needed it... on the bad days, the worse days, and eventually even the good days too. Looking back, he didn't know what he would have done without her around to confide in.
"It's called being a good friend, something that's always free of charge." She replied. "So, what are you doing here alone on Christmas Eve? I thought you'd be with Joe and Cecile."
"Normally, I would be, but I figured since this is their first Christmas with the baby, I would let them enjoy it as a family. I'll just stop over tomorrow sometime." He explained. "How about you? Do you always drink cocoa alone on Christmas Eve?"
"Is it sad if I say yes?" Caitlin asked, only half joking.
"Considering I'm doing the same thing, I'm gonna say no." Barry answered.
"Then yes." Caitlin responded truthfully. "With an estranged mom, no dad, no love life, and busy friends, this has sort become a tradition of mine. Every year, I get some cocoa and gingerbread cookies and watch Christmas movies by myself all night long. Wow, that sounded way less pathetic in my head."
"No, it's not pathetic. It actually sounds fun." Barry assured her. "More fun than my night of doing nothing anyhow."
"Well, you're welcome to join me if you want." Caitlin offered. "I mean, since you're going to be alone, and I'm going to be alone... we might as well be alone together?"
"I guess it depends." Barry responded teasingly. "What movies will we be watching?"
"Only the classics." She promised. "Including the original How the Grinch Stole Christmas, Santa Claus is Coming to Town, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, and, most importantly, It's a Wonderful Life."
Just then the barista set the drinks on the counter and gave a chipper, "Happy holidays!" before tending to the next customer.
"Well, it could be..." Caitlin trailed off, referring the barista's comment, then grabbed her cup and added, "What do you say?"
"I say..." Barry paused to pick up his own cup and clink it against Caitlin's as he retorted, "You had me at Grinch."
Sharing a sweet smile, they took a sip of their hot chocolates then headed out into the frigid winter air and made their way to Caitlin's place.
*******
Barry made it through the first three movies but fell asleep early in to the last one. Around three in the morning, he woke with a start, still sitting on Caitlin's couch and facing the television. However, instead of seeing Clarence get his wings, he was watching Kofi get the chair from Roman Reigns. Feeling confused, he looked to Caitlin who was sitting next to him, drinking a beer with her feet propped up on the coffee table.
"Cait?" He queried, wondering what the heck was going on. To his knowledge, Caitlin wasn't a wrestling fan or much of a beer drinker. She usually opted for wine or the occasional cranberry vodka cocktail. Not to mention, Caitlin would never allow feet on her table. She had scolded Cisco many a times for doing so, in fact. So, what was going on with her?
"Not quite." She answered in a snarky tone.
Hearing that, the missing puzzle piece finally clicked into place, causing Barry to jump to his feet, fly across the room, and switch on the overhead light.
"Killer Frost." He called out knowingly.
"Bingo, fraidy Flash." She teased.
Barry stood there, clenching and unclenching his fists, ready for whatever fight she wanted to throw at him.
Killer Frost laughed and shook her head before responding, "You can relax. I'm not here to hurt you... or anyone else for that matter."
"Then what... how..." He tried, not sure what to ask first.
Frost cut him off and explained, "Caity had a little nightmare. Nothing too tragic, just your run of the mill bad dream. Next thing I know, I'm here watching some terrible black and white flick. As if the cartoons weren't bad enough..."
"Wait, you were aware of all that?" He questioned, still a little uncertain about how their connection worked exactly.
"I'm aware of everything our little Caitlin does. How much exactly depends on her emotions." She told him, taking a long drag from her bottle then went on to elaborate. "When she feels strongly about something or someone, I can sense it so vividly that it's like I'm here, and when those feelings are negative, I usually am here."
"And when she's in a normal mood?" Barry probed.
Frost sighed, "When she's her normal, boring, unemotional self, I get stuck underneath the surface, completely ignorant of what's happening in the real world."
"Right." He nodded his understanding as he stared at her skeptically.
"Would you stop looking at me like that already." She whined. "I told you I'm not here to cause trouble."
"And I should trust you, why?" Barry tossed back, crossing his arms over his chest.
Frost shrugged and answered simply, "because you don't have a choice." Barry just glared at her in response, so she went on. "Look, we both know you aren't going to leave your precious Caitlin until I'm gone..."
"Which will be when exactly?" He inquired pointedly.
"Soon." She replied vaguely with an evil smirk just to annoy him. "But first, I wanna watch this fight and drink my beer. And, like I was saying, since we both know you are going to stay and babysit me, you might as well actually sit down." She finished, gesturing to the couch. "You may even enjoy yourself."
"Doubtful." Barry told her, though he knew she was right about one thing. He wasn't going to leave her side for a second until Caitlin was Caitlin again. So, very reluctantly, he made his way back over to the sofa and sat back in his spot on the end. Of course, Frost had to sit in the middle section right next to him way too close for comfort. Therefore, he did the mature thing and grabbed the two throw pillows that had been tossed to the floor and shoved them between their bodies.
"Comfy?" She queried in an amused tone.
"Just watch your fight." He retorted.
After that, it got quiet for a while as they watched The New Day duke it out with The Shield. The two of them watched as fists, legs, and entire bodies were flung all across the ring. The two teams put up quite a fight, one upping each other with every move they made in this throwback match.
Killer Frost and Barry were able to remain civil and silent for a good fifteen minutes until the match finished and other wrestlers took the stage for a one on one battle. As the next fight began, Frost couldn't help but open her mouth and cause just a little trouble.
"So..." She said, drawing out the one syllable word. "Do you want to know?"
"Know what?" Barry asked suspiciously, already regretting indulging her.
"About Caitlin's nightmare." Frost specified. "Do you want to know what freaked out her so much that I was able to break through?"
"No." Barry said tersely. "It's none of my business... or yours."
"Fine. I just thought that you might like to know, considering you were in it and all." She revealed.
"What? Why would she have a nightmare about me?" He asked in disbelief.
"Obviously, she has a subconscious fear of rejection." Frost told him.
Barry looked perplexed as he replied, "I'm not sure I follow."
Rolling her eyes, she stated matter-of-factly, "You know, for brilliant scientists, you two are idiots."
"Excuse me?" He retorted incredulously.
Frost ignored him and continued, "I've been listening to the two of you talk and hang out for eleven long, excruciating months, waiting for one of you to finally step up and make a move. And if I have learned anything from living inside of Caitlin's body, it's that that person is not going to be her."
"You've got it all wrong." Barry denied. "Cait and I... we're not like that."
"Not yet." She acknowledged. "But you could be... if you stop being a fraidy flash."
"Quit calling me that." Barry commanded, then, more calmly, he added, "And I'm not afraid, my last relationship just ended badly."
"Boohoo, your fiancée left you and broke your heart... blah, blah, blah. Life moves on, Barry." Frost told him in a no nonsense tone. "Now, it's your turn."
"So, I should ask Caitlin out because I need to move on?" He questioned uncertainly.
"No," She responded. "You should ask her out because she's the one you always want to be around, because she's the one you chose to spend Christmas Eve with, because she's the one you like... and because she's the one that may just be the one."
Barry wasn't sure what was more unbelievable right now... that Killer Frost was giving him a pep talk about his love life or that she might actually be right. He had been spending a lot of time with Caitlin lately, and he liked being around her. So, was it possible he liked... her? Barry was so confused. He quirked a brow at Frost as these thoughts, plus a million more, ran through his head.
"Ugh, I can't believe I just that." She admitted, creeping herself out a bit.
"Why did you?" Barry couldn't help but wonder.
"Because Caitlin has clearly made me watch too many Hallmark movies." She said disgustingly.
"I don't buy it." Barry rejected. "I think this is your way of looking out for Caitlin. I think that you might actually have a heart after all." He teased, shifting focus to her now.
She snorted, "I don't care about Caitlin, I care about me... and since her emotions mess with my well being, I get the short stick in this love triangle. Long story short, just do us all a favor and make a decision already. This will they/won't they crap is really getting on my nerves."
"Right, whatever you say." Barry mumbled sarcastically, not believing her for a second. He didn't dare argue though. He had enough to worry about, and the last thing he needed was to get on Killer Frost's bad side.
"Exactly." She answered assertively. "Now if you excuse me, I have some very violent fighting to enjoy." Frost added with a smirk as she crossed her legs and turned up the volume on the TV with the remote. "Ouch!" She winced empathetically for the wrestler that was just body slammed before grinning widely and taking a sip of her beer. A little warm for her liking, she blew a cold fog over her bottle, chilling it along with the liquid inside. Taking another sip, Frost nodded approvingly then went back to watching the WWE television special.
While Killer Frost got back into her show and enjoyed every minute of the next hour, Barry couldn't even tell you who was on screen. His eyes were too busy focusing on Frost, and his mind was too busy focusing on Caitlin. Barry thought about everything Killer Frost had just said. Had it really been nearly a year since he and Iris broke up? Apparently so, if the date on his phone, and the decorations around Cait's apartment were anything to go by. Maybe it was time he moved on after all... but was Caitlin the right person to move on with? Did he actually like her in that way? Barry wasn't completely sure.
Thinking back over the last eleven months, Barry knew he and Cait had gotten closer. She had become his rock for getting through his breakup with Iris, just like he had become her rock for when her Killer Frost side became too overwhelming. They had learned to lean on each other and confide in each other in order to make the hard times easier and the lonelier times less lonely. And it worked... really well. Caitlin quickly became the first person Barry wanted to talk to when something was bothering him, and, when he had good news, she was the one he couldn't wait to share it with. Not to mention, Caitlin was the first person he thought of when he woke up in the morning and the last person he thought of at night before falling asleep.
It was that train of thought that Barry followed for a long while until Killer Frost finally fell asleep. By the time she passed out and faded back into the Caitlin Snow that he knew and loved, Barry had figured out just that... that he knew he loved her... or at least that he could love her, given a fair chance and a leap of faith.
As Caitlin, no longer barred by a pillow wall since she was no longer her evil twin, turned in her sleep and snuggled into Barry's shoulder, he smiled and moved his arm that was extended across the top of the couch to curl around her back. Rubbing soothing circles on her side, like he had done once long ago after their first karaoke night together, Barry knew that he was more than willing to take that leap. The only question was... was she?
*******
Barry thought several times about running home during the night and getting his Christmas gift for Caitlin, so it could be here when she awoke Christmas morning. However, he just couldn't bring himself to leave Caitlin's side. It was so warm and cozy and completely perfect that he didn't dare ruin the moment. Instead, Barry turned off the TV, closed his eyes, and relaxed, enjoying their embrace as much as possible until he drifted off himself.
A little after nine in the morning, Barry woke up as Caitlin stirred next to him.
"Morning." He grinned happily.
She yawned then smiled back, "Good morning."
"I hope you don't mind that I crashed here." Barry told her. "I just didn't want to leave without saying goodbye... and you were sort of using me as a pillow."
Immediately pushing herself off him, Caitlin a sat up and said, "Sorry about that. I guess I was more tired than I thought."
"I guess so." He agreed then couldn't help but prod, "So... did you sleep okay?"
"Yeah, but I vaguely remember having the strangest dream..." She trailed off, running a hand through her auburn hair as she tried to recall the details.
"Oh, really? What about?" Barry feigned innocence, hoping to learn more about the mysterious nightmare that brought Frost out last night.
"You." Caitlin answered then went on, "You were talking to Killer Frost. She was trying to convince you to--" She suddenly cut herself off as she realized her feet were up on the table with an empty beer bottle sitting inches away. "Oh, no. That wasn't a dream, was it?" Caitlin continued as her face began to flush.
"Yeah... that would be a no." He responded truthfully. "No worries though, she watched a little TV then went to sleep. No trouble was caused. I made sure of it."
"Good." She nodded curtly as some worried eased off her shoulders.
"We had an interesting talk though." Barry informed her.
"Yeah... I'm starting to remember." Caitlin replied as bits and pieces of their conversation came back to her. "She told you to ask me out."
"Yes, she did." He confirmed. "Apparently, she thinks we have feelings for each other... and I think that she is right."
"What?" She asked wide-eyed, caught off guard by his admission.
"Look, Caitlin..." Barry began as he stared nervously into her beautiful brown eyes. "I can't speak for you, but Killer Frost was right about me. It may have taken a while to realize it, but I know now that I do have feelings for you, feelings I would really like to explore. So, with all that being said, I have one question for you... Caitlin Snow, will you got out with me?"
His heart pounded in his chest as he took in her unchanged expression and waited. Did he screw up? Did Frost con him, causing him to ruin their relationship and throw away the best thing in his life right now? He was seriously beginning to freak out when Caitlin's lips twitched upward into a small smile.
"Yes." She answered sweetly.
"Yes?" He queried again, wanting to make sure he wasn't just hallucinating or something.
"Yes." She told him again as her smile grew bigger. "I would love to go out with you, Barry Allen."
Barry beamed back at her in response, suddenly overcome with joy. Then, because it felt right, he closed his eyes and leaned forward to give her a tender kiss on the lips. He was mere inches away when he felt a hand splay on his chest.
"Wait." Caitlin suddenly interjected.
"Is everything okay?" He wondered aloud. "Am I moving too fast?"
"Yes... I mean, no... I mean," She struggled for a moment, not sure which question she was trying to answer. "I want to kiss you." She tossed out reassuringly. "I just need to brush my teeth first."
Barry chuckled. Morning breath. Of all things, she was worried about morning breath.
Smirking at her adorableness, he told her simply, "Cait, I just admitted to liking you after spending the night talking to the evil meta living inside your body. I'm not real worried about your morning breath." Then, before she could say another word, he cupped her cheek and brought her forward once more, so they could finally share their first kiss.
Caitlin didn't pull away this time. Instead, she blissfully obliged as she grabbed his wrist and deepened the kiss. It was a long, magical moment. One that neither of them wanted to end.
However, Barry managed to pull away long enough to whisper, "Merry Christmas, Cait."
Smiling, she intertwined her free hand with his free hand and whispered back, "Merry Christmas, Barry." then, rotated herself back around so she could lean into Barry's side once more. With her head resting on his shoulder and his head resting on her head, the two of them snuggled together and proceeded to enjoy a lazy yet perfectly wonderful Christmas morning.
#the flash#snowbarry#barry x caitlin#ficmas#christmas eve#barry allen#caitlin snow#killer frost#snowbarry fanfiction#eleven months of waiting
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Episode 118 - eGemony, Part 2: “The Cavelands”
Time is irrelevant and imaginary.
And yet, somehow it seems we are out of it.
Welcome to Night Vale.
Listeners, I have just returned from an odyssey. As you know, a case of Canadian Club whiskey was hidden in Night Vale over 40 years ago as part of a contest. And now, e-gemonee… edge-meny, edge-meny, edgem- eedgemon- e- that tech startup wants it back, so they can drink it and thus drink the soul of Night Vale. It turns out that the alcohol was spirited away by – oh, ahaha, spirited, that’s a good one, Cecil… by baristas.
I knew I had to warn them before the corporate prize contest and sweepstakes buzz marketing street teams located them. But that would mean going to a place from which no one has ever returned: the remote Cavelands of the baristas, deep under the Earth, where (Eritrean pourover) drips gently from stalagmites and latte foam rivers froth and bubble in cool stone cracks. We’re all pretty sure the Cavelands are under that crate behind the Ace Hardware, but no one goes down there because of the stench of espresso and the chilling sounds of Carly Simon’s greatest hits CD.
The underground society of the baristas is an insular one, and no outsider has met their king. Did you know that baristas have a king? I mean I didn’t, but my niece Janice knows all about which professions have monarchs and which like mm, ride sharing services, only have serpents wearing crowns. Janice still has her barista costume from last year’s careers parade.
So in order to investigate the Cavelands, I cloaked myself carefully in the necessary animal skins, as Janice directed, and slung over my shoulders the ceremonial spiky coffee hammer and the sweater vest with the correct number of arm holes. Janice and I took a quick online course in latte art. Janice was great at it. She made a photorealistic aspledium nidus fern, and I uh, I made a, rock of some kind.
Janice said she knew exactly how to finish my disguise, and she was right. I regarded myself in the Ace Hardware window, and I knew I was meant for that boldest, unruliest, most outlaw of mustaches: the rolly fingers! The final touch of a true barista. Rolly Fingers was the most famous king in barista history, and now every barista grows a long thick mustache that swirls at the ends, just like the former king Rolly. From these curls, baristas often hang sweeteners and spoons for customer service.
I flexed all my facial muscles tight, and within minutes, I had finessed my new thick mustache into lovely coils. It was sunset, the time when all the baristas return to the Ace Hardware parking lot, from their day labor jobs, or as they call them, “gigs” throughout greater Night Vale.
My plan was to simply blend among them. Blend [chuckling] oh my god blend, oh Cecil you’ve done it again. And so one by one, I smiled and waved at them, and we teased each other with sprays of hot steam, as is the way of baristas at the end of a long day. There were 10 of us, then 15, then perhaps 20, then 30, then 40, then 100 baristas. Baristas as far as the eye can see. So many baristas, all laughing and scalding each other with joviality. Then a very tall barista, whose animal pelts were dusted in silver, looked at me with suspicion. I put her mind at ease by calling out one of their familiar jokes. “Your mother is so tasteless, she orders her eggs ristretto!” I cried. The barista’s hardened face softened into a laugh and she called out: “Time to ride!”
Our steeds made quick work of the steep mile and a half descent below Ace Hardware. I could hear the faint echoes of Norah Jones, as we passed cuneiform style sketches of French presses on the rocky walls. Once we were in the caves, by the lights of torches dipped in (pinch), the baristas ambled to their bed rolls, their knapsacks, their (bindles), and all around the cave, I could see them unwrapping and dusting off and (-) [0:07:41] their instruments. I saw harmonicas, violins, ocarinas, banjoes, mouth harps, mouth pianos, mouth banjoes, (lip scissors), and those who had nothing to play brought out pots and pans to keep time. And we began – to sing.
[singing] “I’m a-dreaming of someone whose love is so swee-ee-eet, [echoing] like (--) (cronut), 4000 fee-ee-eet, oh my perfect love gives me endless bli-i-iss, [another voice joining] never wants the wi-fi password without puur-chaa-a-ase I said he never asked for that wi-if password Without a puur-chaa-aase.”
And then, without warning, one of the baristas made a gesture and the rest fell silent. They were all looking at me, listeners.
“He doesn’t know our anthem!” she said. “No, I totally do,” I said. “I mean, I was definitely singing… something.” The baristas closed in on me. “Don’t talk to me til I’ve had my coffee! Amirite?” I pleaded.
From the back, I heard a quiet but authoritative snarl. “It’s Cecil!” The baristas parted, all of them, and in the silence, I heard the shuffling of leather shoes, and I was face to face with the king of the baristas.
Listeners, we are all made up of goodness and not-so-goodness. We have conflicting impulses and we struggle to do right. We care to a lesser or greater extent whether our actions are moral, and if they will strike other people as immoral. This is true for all of us, you and me. Corporeal and otherwise. Everyone.
Except the King of Baristas. When I saw him, I knew immediately he had never once hesitated to do right. How did I know this? Maybe it was his beard, as his beard seemed kind. Or it was the way his eyes, his purple eyes crinkled with empathy. Or it was who the light glinted off his horns. In any case, listeners, he reminded me a little of a buffalo. And it’s hard not to trust a buffalo.
“Cecil,” he said. “We have been waiting for you. And by we I don’t mean the royal we, as we don’t believe in that, and I didn’t mean the royal we that second time either. All of us have been waiting for you, and not one of us believes in the royal we. And I love your mustache sooo much!” the king added in a baby voice as he pinched my cheek. I explained that I came to the Cavelands for the booze. He said, “We’ll talk about that. But first, we need to talk about something more important. Your new sponsor.”
I said, “Our sponsor, you mean money? Did you know it’s available in twenties now?” He said: “Do not speak to us of the attractiveness of money! Money is cursed! And of course everything that is cursed is attractive, otherwise the curse wouldn’t be a problem.” He said that and I thought it was pretty smart. I mean, all of the cursed objects around the station are really fun to play with. Until an intern gets hurt. Like Gustav the other day, who found radium squish ball from one of our old statin promotions.
Oh, quick aside: to the family of Gustav, he was a distracted intern, and he will be missed.
The king said, “How many times has a person done something awful and you can’t understand why it happened? Only for the reason to be – money! If there were a drug with the same side effects money has, it would be illegal.” “Um, maybe we can talk about this later?” I said. “There are eGemony corporate prize contest and sweepstakes buzz marketing street teams heading this way now! You’ll be defenseless against them! They’ll round you up into tech campus relaxation zones and make you play videogames and drink energy shakes and and learn PowerPoint! You’ll be trapped for eternity!”
He said, “OH Cecil. They came already. There was a squadron of them, hideous and flickering shadows with smiles of black fire, driving branded cars with terrible posture. And all of them were cheery and wearing shorts and saying things like “devOps”.
I asked if the street teams found what they were looking for. The King of the Baristas said: “We have taken care of them.” And with his big hands, his big nimble hands, he reached into the matted animal skins on his chest, and he sorted through necklaces made of tiny bird skulls and Splenda packets. He fished out a thin badge that was embossed with the eGemony logo. It still had the rampant weasels and the cheerfully crossed (--) [0:13:52] mushrooms. But the name, the name on the badge, was ground away. “This,” the King of the Baristas said, “is all that’s left of them.” And he let out a little chuckle. If I could grade it on a scale between mirthful and mirthless, it was on the mirthful side of things. But there was also a bit of self-knowledge in it, as if the person chuckling were aware that to completely abandon himself to pleasure was to be unmoored from the realities of existence.
He said the street team had covertly arrived over four years ago, in the dead of night, and worked their way to my desk. They recovered the case of Canadian Club and in celebration they opened a single bottle. They passed it around, and each one drank from it. But when they drank the soul of the time, they became infused with it. by the time each had finished a single sip, they had become a part of this place, and the place had become a part of them. “Do you understand, Cecil?” he asked. And I exclaimed, “I get it! Rather than absorbing Night Vale’s soul, Night Vale’s soul absorbed them! So… We’re all good. Problems always solve themselves. Thank you, King of the Baristas!”
There was an uncomfortably long pause. Every barista was staring silently at me. And I worried that maybe this was a disrespectful way to address the king. I coughed a bit and then tried again with a classic barista joke to lighten the mood. “Your mother’s so overcome with ennui that she-“ “Cecil,” the king interrupted. “We, the baristas, are the eGemony corporate prize contest and sweepstakes buzz marketing street team! Once we had become a part of Night Vale, we knew what we had to do,” he said. And I said, “Ooooooo, I can’t wait to find out! But can I check the weather report just really quick?” And he said, “Sure. Go ahead.”
[“Glitter” by Charly Bliss]
The king repeated: “We knew what we had to do.” He cackled a bit. “Have you ever noticed how, at one point, there were no baristas here, and then suddenly there were many, many baristas? Did it seem strange to you that every café now had a barista? And every restaurant and market, pawn shop and dry cleaner’s? And how the vacant lots are no longer truly vacant, because they are populated by baristas? Have you noticed baristas at the Antiques Mall, in the DMV, and close to but not in the Dog Park? And the ones who run alongside cars as they’re leaving the highway, to offers drivers shots of espresso? Have you noticed how no new buildings pass the city planning department, unless ther’es a four-foot-by-four-foot space for a barista to stand? Didn’t that strike you as strange? Did it strike you as strange that your choices at any coffee establishment were only espresso, or espresso with a shot of Canadian Club?”
The king said to me, wisely, carefully, giddily: “Cecil. After being absorbed in the soul of Night Vale, we knew we needed to save our city. So we served it to you. We served Night Vale, its own soul. Night Vale has drunk itself, and in the process become as much itself as any town could ever be.
By then, the sun was starting to rise, and some of the baristas had settled down and were cuddling and grooming each other in their little barista beds, as the fire in the cave was now turning to embers, and there were small ashes flittering like moths around the sierra cups and chemex graphs and wind-powered aeropresses that cluttered every surface.
I felt relief knowing the baristas were safe. And also confusion, knowing they had once been a tech company social influence marketing effort. But also, civic pride, as Night Vale is darned good at defending itself against people who want to steal and drink our souls. But also itchiness, because of the animal pelts and long twirly mustache.
“The time of worry isn’t over, Cecil,” the king said. “In fact, it is only beginning. eGemony won’t care that Night Vale’s soul is safe. They’ll send another street team and another, until they’ve figured out how to distill our souls. And do you know why, Cecil? It’s because of – money.”
Listeners, this is terrible news! Mostly because I really don’t like to hear bad things said about our station’s sponsors.
“Cecil, we need you to renounce money as a sponsor. Do you know what’s more important than money? We do. We have taken steps this night, while you were here, your show is now sponsored not by but by – love. Love is the way forward against eGemony!” I said “Uh huh,” but I said it with skepticism, like exactly the way a cashier would if someone were about to buy something clutching a handful of love. Then I said, “suuuure,” but like really sarcastically like you do after a poetry reading.
He said: “Your battle is not yet over. eGemony wants that case of Canadian Club, even if it no longer exists. They’re going to use every one of their tools. They’ll use violence, intimidation, social media, dreamfluencing, viral marketing, even science! They will win, unless you figure out a way to repel them!” And I said, “Um pardon me, did you say that they’ll use science?” And he thought about it and agreed that he had at some point said that. Science, he said, was one of eGemony’s mightiest weapons, and the King of the Baristas said that he wished he knew of some way to fight against it. As soon as he said, I stood to my full height, which is one third taller than my three-quarters height. Listeners, I must admit I was moved enough to actually put my hands by my hips, and my hands were fists, listeners. fists! And I said, “Oh, I know how to fight back. There is only one weapon mightier than science, and that is – more science.” And the king looked at me with amazement, as if I had unsuspected depths, and he said, “Do you know science?”
Do I, listeners, do I?
Next time, I’ll answer that question, but spoiler alert: gosh, heck yeah, of course.
Stay tuned next for Adolescent X-team Karate Bedbugs, the show your grandma thinks you like, because she never understood you.
Good night, Night Vale, Good night.
Today’s proverb: Why would you wanna think outside the box? The box is steel and locked and buried deeply underground. It’s so safe here. Why would you want to leave?
#welcome to night vale#wtnv#wtnv transcripts#egemony#egemoney part 2#the cavelands#this episode had a number of difficult words#i didn't find some of them on google#so if you can figure them out let me know
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Dawn at Quiet Lake in Idaho’s Cecil D. Andrus-White Clouds Wilderness, created in 2015.
By Michael Lanza
How’s it feel to be a conservationist in America today? Does it feel like people who want the government to protect the environment—which is a large majority of Americans—suddenly find themselves losing a war that it seemed we had already won?
These are strange and frustrating times for conservation. We have to wonder: How could so many Americans believe that climate science is bogus—or even a “hoax,” as a certain world leader calls it? How could so many of our countrymen and women applaud as the current White House takes an axe to the agency created four decades ago to protect the very environment we live in? Or buy into the corrupt notion that ceding control of our prized public lands to private interests could, in any way, be in our public interest?
And where do we go from here?
Somewhere along the line, logic got turned on its head. We need to stand it upright again—and we can.
The Bears Ears buttes in Bears Ears National Monument, which President Trump shrank by 85 percent.
The good news is that while we are, in many ways, mired in a war for the future not only of conservation but for the nation’s values—not to mention human civilization—environmentalists do have a much larger army than the opposition. Gallup reported in March 2018 that “62 percent of Americans say government is doing too little on the environment,” the highest that number has been since 2006.
The same poll found overwhelming majorities want more public investment in renewable energy, higher pollution and auto-emissions standards, and stronger enforcement of environmental regulations. Seven in 10 Americans believe climate change is happening and six in 10 want the government to do something about it.
Hi, I’m Michael Lanza, creator of The Big Outside, which has made several top outdoors blog lists. Click here to sign up for my FREE email newsletter. Subscribe now to get full access to all of my blog’s stories. Click here to learn how I can help you plan your next trip. Please follow my adventures on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Youtube.
But the anti-environmental movement is very well funded—with the climate-change misinformation campaign led by the fossil-fuel industry and related special interests—and has massed its troops in elected positions from Congress to state capitols and local offices.
They are dismantling the protections created over decades to ensure that Americans can breathe clean air and drink clean water, and protect endangered species. They are working to undermine the international effort to combat climate change. They are abetted in their self-serving scheme by a president who embraces no ideology beyond self-aggrandizement, and who has mastered the dark art of sowing division and discord through stoking the fires of fear and hate—all in the service of increasing his own profit and power. And he is enabled by a congressional majority willing to deploy un-American tactics to achieve their goals, like actively preventing some citizens from voting, and extreme gerrymandering of districts so that politicians get to select their voters rather than the other way around.
Lower Yellowstone Falls in the world’s first national park, Yellowstone.
Among many moves to roll back progress on climate change, the Trump administration has taken steps to allow increased emissions of methane—one of the most powerful greenhouse gases—to weaken car pollution rules, and to let states set their own rules on coal emissions (or no rules at all). The administration hires ex-lawyers and lobbyists for polluting industries to regulate those industries—the proverbial fox guarding the henhouse. Trump’s Interior Department under Director Ryan Zinke has rescinded an Obama-era policy requiring that national parks management be based in science.
This NY Times story lists 76 environmental rules Trump is throwing out, and concludes: “All told, the Trump administration’s environmental rollbacks could lead to at least 80,000 extra deaths per decade and cause respiratory problems for more than one million people.” That story goes on to quote a Harvard expert saying that number is likely to be “a major underestimate of the global public health impact.”
This is what an all-out war on the environment looks like. It’s enough to really piss you off, right?
Climate change constitutes, literally and figuratively, a steadily rising tide that threatens to overwhelm civilization. The science not only continues to affirm this reality, it strongly suggests that we are on a faster trajectory toward increasingly severe consequences than previously thought.
Read about how climate change is affecting our national parks in my book Before They’re Gone—A Family’s Year-Long Quest to Explore America’s Most Endangered National Parks.
Backpackers hiking through a burned forest in Glacier National Park. Climate change has made wildfires larger and more numerous.
The U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change warned recently that we have until 2030 to slash carbon emissions by 45 percent, and until 2050 to eliminate all carbon emissions. Otherwise, we condemn our children, grandchildren, and generations for centuries to life on a planet undergoing catastrophic climate change.
Many of us followed a long path through the outdoors that led us into conservation. We are motivated by a love of hiking, climbing, fishing, backpacking, skiing, paddling, hunting, birding, and other pastimes that have given us some of the most inspirational and joyful moments in our lives. Pull back the covers on the phrase “conservation movement” and you simply find people who share simple, common values: protecting places in nature that give us a rejuvenating connection to our humanity, and maintaining a world environment in which humans can thrive and live healthy lives.
History will recall this era as a dark time when some leaders showed a ruthless and shameless willingness to destroy the planetary environment that sustains life as humans have always known it.
But we have the opportunity to ultimately record this period as the time that the conservation movement became reinvigorated and rose to the challenges we face today. Many organizations and individuals are engaged and committed to this mission. The technology exists to accomplish this; we need only the political will, and that begins with each of us.
Here are some ideas for getting back on the right track.
The Big Outside helps you find the best adventures. Subscribe now and get full access to all stories!
Backpackers on Clouds Rest in Yosemite National Park.
No. 1 Vote in Every Election
Voting represents the bare minimum effort we are all asked to make as citizens of what has been and could still be—if we’re ready to save it—the nation that leads the free world.
Voting is not a big ask. It’s not a heavy lift. In fact, we should all participate in the democratic process more deeply than merely voting.
The Teton Crest Trail in Grand Teton National Park.
We should certainly seek to inform ourselves thoroughly through a variety of legitimate sources in the media and elsewhere. Knowledge and accurate information offer the best protection against the demagogues, charlatans, and liars who employ today’s vast array of communication tools to foment the fear, intolerance, and hate that seem to motivate so many voters now. We don’t need impenetrable walls along our borders—we need virtual windows onto our entire world, through which we can see everything more clearly.
Just as we have a choice in how we drive a vehicle—we can drive it intelligently and with care and caution, or steer it over a cliff—we can use the infinite resources available at our fingertips today to make ourselves better-informed citizens, rather than pawns of the purveyors of misinformation.
But voting is step one on the stairway of democracy. And yet, millions of Americans do not vote—they do not contribute the bare minimum effort as a member of a democracy. Some, including young people and populations already marginalized, only vote occasionally, typically in presidential elections, skipping mid-terms that determine the crucial makeup of Congress and key state offices.
Think of it this way: There are 10 houses on your street, but only the owners of six of them make all the rules for the neighborhood, including how much you each pay to live there (and they charge others more than they charge themselves), because the owners of four houses don’t vote.
Sound like a good system?
If not, then get out and vote and urge everyone you know to do the same—especially anyone who’s never voted or does rarely, including young people. Tell anyone who complains about the cynicism in politics that they have the power to do something about it, beginning with their vote. If everyone eligible voter in America cast a ballot in every election, we’d be well on our way to having a functional democracy.
Plan your next backpacking adventure in Yosemite, Grand Teton and other parks using my expert e-guides.
Sahale Glacier Camp in North Cascades National Park, one of my 25 favorite backcountry campsites.
No. 2 Choose to Live More Sustainably
Yes, it sometimes seems the solutions to climate change and other environmental problems lie far beyond our reach as individuals. But we can all do more to reduce personal waste and consumption, and that exerts a positive collective impact.
We can make choices about lifestyle and family and work circumstances that affect our waste and consumption. A few examples of many possible steps include reducing car trips and driving an economical vehicle, being more careful about electricity and water use, buying food grown and produced as close to your home as possible and planting a vegetable garden, recycling and reusing, and composting home organic waste. Larger steps like improving house insulation and converting to solar create expense up front but pay off over the long term.
The Center for Biological Diversity lists these 12 ways to live more sustainably, but you can easily find much more information on that subject. Some actions are big and costly, others have long-term, significant impacts and save you money.
But the best news about living more sustainably? Instead of making you pissed off, it can make you happier and healthier and improve your life. When I gave my wife a cruiser bicycle for Christmas a few years ago, her attitude toward biking rather than driving local trips swung 180 degrees. Now we frequently ride into town, which creates time together that’s far more enjoyable than driving in traffic and searching for parking—not to mention far better for our community.
Backpackers on the Piegan Pass Trail in Glacier National Park.
No. 3 Get Off Your Butt
Actions speak louder than bitching on Facebook. If you’re truly pissed off, do something.
Volunteer for and donate to political candidates and campaigns you like and respect, who you believe can help our world—or your little part of it—rather than harm it. Or even run for office and be an agent for change.
Find organizations that do work you support and offer them your time and resources. Join a board; many groups are desperate for intelligent, committed volunteers who bring a variety of expertise to the table. I’m no genius, but for years I’ve served on volunteer boards and committees working on protecting and managing conservation and recreation lands, improving public education (smarter kids make smarter voters and citizens), and electing pro-conservation politicians. (I’m on the board of Conservation Voters for Idaho, which has resounding success electing green candidates in a very red state and deserves your support.)
Step up. You might be surprised at how many people would love to have whatever you can give.
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Backpackers in Utah’s Grand Staircase-Escalante National Monument, which Trump cut in half.
No. 4 Do What Jesus or Muhammad or Buddha Would Do
Religious leaders are increasingly joining the rising chorus of people who believe the world’s governments have a moral duty to protect the environment and take aggressive action to limit the severity of climate change.
In September 2017, Pope Francis and Orthodox Christian leader Patriarch Bartholomew called for a collective response from world leaders to climate change, saying the planet was deteriorating and vulnerable people were the first to be affected. Other religious organizations are investing directly in projects that protect the planet, such as renewable energy, sustainable agriculture, and forest protection.
As well they should. Jesus said, “For what shall it profit a man, if he gain the whole world, and suffer the loss of his soul?” The Prophet Muhammad said, “Conduct yourself in this world as if you are here to stay forever.” The Buddha said, “I do not believe in a fate that falls on men however they act; but I do believe in a fate that falls on them unless they act.”
Planning your next big adventure? See “America’s Top 10 Best Backpacking Trips” and “The 20 Best National Park Dayhikes.”
Bighorn sheep in Glacier. Click photo for 10 Tips for Getting a Hard-to-Get National Park Backcountry Permit.
No. 5 Please, Don’t Give Up or Give In
It’s easy to feel defeated. It’s hard to make things better. And it’s not enough to just be pissed off. Consider how much is at stake. I’m reminded of that every day when I look at my kids.
There are many reasons to be optimistic for our future. I’m encouraged by the efforts of politicians at the state and local levels and businesses committed to a sensible future in an economy built upon clean energy—the only future. California has committed to meeting 100 percent of its energy needs by 2045. Thousands of cities, regional governments, investors, and corporations have pledged to reduce their carbon footprint, motivated in large part by Trump’s decision to pull the United States out of the international Paris climate change agreement.
I am encouraged by the energy, intelligence, and determination of today’s young people. They don’t wallow in fear and despair. They aren’t mourning the planet’s future and lamenting that climate change seems so gigantic and daunting a problem that any action feels futile. They are acting. They are educating themselves. They are demanding leadership.
Larch trees reflected in Rainbow Lake, in Washington’s North Cascades.
But those of us in the generations now running the show—who are responsible for much of this problem—have to hand them the tools to help them complete the most important work humanity has ever faced. We have to give them a fighting chance.
If we fail to right our ship, then we will deserve it when today’s children look at us in the fast-approaching future, as the oceans drown cities and starvation and political instability spawn refugee waves unlike anything we’ve ever seen in history, and ask, “What were you thinking?”
I’m reminded of three quotes that speak to the time we live in now. The first has been described as an Aboriginal proverb but also attributed to various sources: “We do not inherit the planet from our ancestors, we borrow it from our grandchildren.”
The second is a quote that has been attributed to the Irish philosopher, statesman, and parliamentarian Edmund Burke: “All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.”
Finally, we might all find inspiration in the words written by a young girl while she suffered through the worst evil the world has ever known. Anne Frank famously wrote: “It’s a wonder I haven’t abandoned all my ideals, they seem so absurd and impractical. Yet I cling to them because I still believe, in spite of everything, that people are truly good at heart.”
We have no other choice. We cannot fail, because failure now means giving up on hope.
Tell me what you think.
I spent a lot of time writing this story, so if you enjoyed it, please consider giving it a share using one of the buttons below, and leave a comment or question at the bottom of this story. I’d really appreciate it.
Read about one great American adventure that’s possible today because of the conservation movement in my story “Why Conservation Matters: Rafting the Green River’s Gates of Lodore.”
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I realize I probably should have shared the link to the fic I'm borrowing Julie from (the main one is here - takes place during early night vale canon - and the Julie-centric sequel is here - I think one of the major subplots is based off the night vale books?)
Sadly I cannot take credit for Carlos's affinity for magic. the original crossover was started on the premise "hey these two Carloses (Carloi?) from different series could totally be the same person"
[image: a screenshot from AO3 reading "Notes: First of all, I would like to say that I did not write a ridiculously long fic just because I was consuming both series at the same time and went, "lol those guys have the same name." I would like to say that, but..."]
So Carlos the wizard comes to night vale, gets in trouble, and has to go undercover as a scientist, which is why he and Cecil are so vague about what sort of science Carlos is actually doing. Because at first Carlos is bullshitting everything about his role to cover up his magic investigation, and then Night Vale itself is so clueless about all the sciences that even once he's learned to be a scientist on equal footing with the others, the excuses "it's For Science" and "I'm doing Science" continue to work on everyone so they never evolve to real explanations. So Carlos is the go-to magic investigator for the scientists because he was a wizard first. I agree that it fits very well with Night Vale canon as well as just being a fun way to contrast science and magic.
on the topic of the Dresden Files, fanfiction and other fanlore/fan knowledge has convinced me that the world of the Dresden Files is excellent and fascinating and worth exploring. On the other hand, I cannot stand Harry Dresden as the narrator of his own stories so I've read less than a quarter of the series, all of it before whenever Harry actually wanders beyond the Chicago area on his adventures, so I have to rely on my wife saying "this is a fact about the world" or on fan wikis, and not on personal knowledge. The hardest thing to fit together about the two book series will be that the White Council has laws (punishable by beheading) against tampering with people's memories, and Harry Potter's Ministry of Magic regularly tampers with memories to enforce one of its laws, with implications that the whole world's magical governments do the same... I'm making this conflict a plot point in my crossover. (but the resolution may be "encourage the governments to continue ignoring each other". Also given that Julie knows both the Laws of Magic that Carlos is supposed to enforce, and that Hermione modified her parents' memories and sent them to Australia... she might decide to run interference to prevent them from interacting too much, before Carlos also remembers that detail from the Harry Potter franchise. No one wants the subplot where Carlos and Hermione become enemies) Otherwise the two universes' magic systems are easy to make compatible ("magic works if you believe it will work" vs "anything can happen in childhood and when emotions are high but everyone gets taught there's exactly one way to do things and then they experience that that's the one way they can do things". That's totally compatible right?) and their various magical species (vampires, fae courts, mermaids...) aren't contradictory as far as I can tell, which is a fair basis to merge the worlds. And of course in Night Vale anything goes but it might change next week, at which point anything you knew last week was obviously a lie. Which is a delightful basis to cross over with anything else, because you don't have to justify any particular magical process or other unlikely happenings.
Julie is also my very favorite character, and that's 90% of the motivation behind this fic. I'm glad that even my two and a half posts of content was enough to communicate how wonderful she is. :) And I'm also looking forward to exploring her friendship with Hermione and how they occasionally balance each other out (Julie is definitely more flexible in her thinking). But most of the time.... well put it this way, Julie would not have objected in the slightest to keeping Rita Skeeter in a jar for months on end because it's the most straightforward way to address the "get an unethical journalist to take me seriously and leave my friends alone" problem. They're both chaotic good toeing the line at chaotic neutral and when they work together that effect will only be amplified.
Writeblr WIP Blind Date
I’m always happy for an excuse to interact with more writeblrs. I’m surprising myself by choosing one of my fics that hasn’t actually been posted to AO3 yet (and that I’m still working on an actual plot for) because I just really like the premise and I love the characters
Title of your WIP: No title yet, but I mostly call it the chaos friendship fic.
The real title, when I decide on one, will either be a pun on books or magic or academia, or it will be a quote from wtnv (or from love is all you need to destroy your enemies) in the style of titles for fics in that series.
Genre: fanfiction, crackfic, crossover, friendship centric, humorous tone, world-saving adventures?
(Crossover between: Harry Potter and a fic that is itself a crossover between Welcome to Night Vale and The Dresden Files)
Trigger Warnings: n/a so far, (probably canon typical violence)
Stage of writing process: “Lol Hermione and Julie would be such great friends I’d love to read about them interacting …dang I guess I have to write that myself”
actually I’ve come up with the premise of why they’ve met in the first place, and written the middle third of a first chapter to lead them into interacting, but I’m stuck on what the plot should be, which is complicated by the fact that the few ideas I’ve had for plot directions require more knowledge than I actually have about the various magical government(s)/faerie courts of the Dresden Files universe to determine whether they’re both plausible and feasible.
Synopsis: replacing this with Background because, as stated above, I have a premise for this fic but not so much a plot. 1-3 are genuinely background, and 4-7 are as close as I have to a story arc:
(1) MACUSA actually only controls the original 13 colonies (and the white council large parts of north america, though between the two groups they still probably don’t govern all magical people in the continent*)
(2) the ICW refuses to acknowledge that any magical government borders might not align with muggle/nomaj/mundane government borders, so MACUSA is the only government from within the muggle United States that gets invited/pressured to join the Statute of Secrecy
(3) There are repeated violations of the statute of secrecy reported in a particular town in the southwest of the united states
(4) Hermione Granger, famous and influential as she is in the aftermath of all of Harry’s adventures, is nominated as the representative to go and scold MACUSA for not controlling their citizens better
(5) Hermione gets to MACUSA and they treat her politely, but they firmly and immediately explain that they’re not responsible, and then set her up with a portkey to Night Vale, where the violations have been
(6) Hermione promptly gets caught in the storm wards, since she arrived by magic. Julie and Carlos and at least one other scientist show up almost immediately - they’re studying the storm wards to make sure they’re behaving as intended
(7) and then Hermione and Julie become friends (after what incident that forces them to work together???) and then do something cool (but what????? idk yet)
Character information: this is listed as a crossover between a fic series and a book series, rather than between two book series and a podcast, because Julie is an OC (effectively) from the fic series (does it count if none of “Carlos’ scientists” are named? they do technically exist in canon, but with basically no detail, at least in the first two or three years).
My fic will focus on Hermione’s (bookworm, ruthless when necessary, a few years ago saved wizarding Britain from a terrorist along with her friends Harry and Ron) friendship with Julie (PhD, practical theoretical physicist, made a “science gun” and disassembled it for ethical reasons after killing a vampire with it, makes frequent pop culture references including teasing Carlos about having a wizard friend named Harry… yes her knowledge of the Harry Potter books will be addressed), with appearances from Carlos and the rest of dave’s characters, and probably some other night vale citizens, and maybe (if I borrow dave’s or my wife’s familiarity with dresden files canon) certain members of the white council.
Mainly just the girls and their friendship though.
Links: I could have sworn I included the drafty partial first chapter in this, but it’s just another outline. …if I can’t find a better link to edit in to this post, I might just add what I have of prose for this fic to the bottom of that google doc
There is a brief excerpt in this post as well (on my main blog, from before I made a separate writeblr sideblog) under the heading “Chaotic Friendship crossover”
There’s also a summary in my WIP Masterpost but I’ve said everything relevant with more detail in this post.
WIP tag: Uh. You can also see all two of my posts that I’ve got tagged ‘chaos friendship fic’ and I could have sworn there were more but I can’t find them to add them to the tag…
Other WIP Information:
*Along with background point (1) under synopsis/background, I have a loose but persistent idea about indigenous wizards/mages/tribe-specific titles warding large swaths of land to be unplottable and heavily defended, and taking as many members (especially nonmagical, as magical people could defend themselves a bit better and also let themselves in later) of their tribes, as feasible into protected lands once it became obvious that white nonmagical people were determined to wipe out everyone else (and members of rival tribes were accepted into each others’ spaces peacefully when colonists continued to get worse; uniting against a common enemy)… with the idea that the trail of tears and similar events had significantly less deaths (whether the deaths were faked, or whether white muggles were confunded to not notice/brush off the mass disappearances, or…?), and the people “lost” were taken into protected lands that white nonmagical people can’t get into at all, and that white magical people will be fiercely fought against ….and I was going to look for a sensitivity reader if that headcanon became a bigger part of this fic because I’m white and I’ll 300% need it and it’s still just a half-developed side detail that may or may not make it into this fic, but I’m sure will eventually make it into one of my fics that’s set in both the Harry Potter universe and the USA. (If not this one, then probably my MCU/HP crossover. I just really don’t like the pottermore/word of god info about magical society in the americas, and I haven’t seen Fantastic Beasts and even if I cared about FB canon, even though MACUSA is in charge, those are mostly set in new york city (and Europe apparently?), so that doesn’t contradict my “MACUSA is only in the 13 colonies” detail)
Definitely going with the joke “JK Rowling is actually Rita Skeeter, just selling to a new audience that won’t realize she’s telling the truth or when she’s stretching it” as another background fact, but I don’t think the characters will ever figure out exactly who is masquerading as Rowling.
Constructive criticism: Yes? Tentatively? I mean this is intended to be crackfic, where characterization matters but realistic plot not so much. So keep that intended tone in mind when offering concrit, but at this point I think I’ll welcome any (polite) feedback on this story even if it’s negative. (just try not to be purely negative, yeah? Long term I appreciate concrit, but short term it’ll bother me disproportionately, even when I asked for it, and triply so if it’s not balanced)
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The World’s Best Witchcraft Museums and Magical Exhibits
If you’re looking for a wickedly magical exhibit or witchcraft museum, I’ve got you covered! Witchcraft Museums are located all over the world, including the United States, England, Spain, and Iceland. Take an unexpected and intriguing tour of the world’s best witchcraft museums and magical exhibits!
World’s Best Witchcraft Museums & Exhibits
The Witch House in Salem, MA
The Witch House, located in Salem MA, is the last standing house with direct ties to the Salem Witch Trials. No, a witch did not live there, but Judge Jonathan Corwin did. Legend says he might have conducted private witch trials in his own home. When you visit The Witch House, be sure to have time to browse the intriguing witchcraft exhibit on the first floor including witch bottles, poppets, and all manner of creepy witchcraft items from Colonial times. There’s definitely an air of magic to the place, be it good or bad. And if you don’t enjoy witchcraft exhibits, you’ll most certainly enjoy the historical aspect. Side note: it was my favourite place in Salem to visit!
Museum of Witchcraft in Cornwall, UK
The Museum of Witchcraft in Cornwall, UK is world-famous for its robust collection of witchcraft items from the past. The Museum of Witchcraft was established by Cecil Williamson, a friend of Gerald Gardner and pagan, in 1960 and today features over three thousand witchcraft objects and over seven thousand books. Visit between April and November for tours lasting between thirty minutes to an hour. Learn about past cunningfolk practices and folk magic, as well as ritual magic and more!
The World Bewitch’d Exhibit at Cornell University
There was a big hub-bub last year when Cornell University in Ithaca, NY hosted a witchcraft exhibit known as The World Bewitch’d. Visitors to the Kroch Library had the pleasure of viewing a large exhibit of antique books and manuscripts on witch hunting, as well as more modern witchcraft paraphernalia like movie posters from the twentieth century. I am not sure if the exhibit is still open, as the website states it was available until August of 2018. I sure hope it is as it’s supposed to be the largest witchcraft exhibit in the United States holding over three thousand pieces.
Buckland Gallery of Witchcraft & Magick in Cleveland, OH
Ever heard of Raymond Buckland? Buckland was a twentieth century male witch and occult author who was also known to be a friend of Gerald Gardner (Wicca’s founder). The Buckland Gallery of Witchcraft and Magick began as Buckland’s personal collection of artefacts in his NY home’s basement. It grew and grew and eventually Buckland opened a museum to display his witchcraft exhibit. The witchcraft museum has moved a few times but is now located at a permanent residence in Cleveland, OH and is run by new owners (Buckland died in 2017). The more intriguing items featured were once owned by famous occult names such as Sybil Leek, Aleister Crowley, and Anton Lavey. Hours are spotty so be sure to look up house of operation before travelling.
One of the rooms in The Witch House in Salem, MA.
Zugarramurdi Witchcraft Museum in Spain
The Witch Trials happened almost all over Europe, and Spain was no exception. In Zugarramurdi, Spain is a witchcraft museum detailing the witch hunts of the sixteen hundreds in the village. You can also visit a nearby cave where the supposed rituals of the local witches took place. The Zugarramurdi Witch Museum is open on select dates September through December, so be sure to check the times before visiting.
The Museum of Icelandic Witchcraft & Sorcery in Iceland
A world-famous witchcraft museum is located in the village of Holmavik, Iceland. The museum houses an unique and sometimes chill-worthy display of witchcraft items including a pair of pants made of human skin! Apparently the exhibit tells the details on how to make oneself a pair of “necropants” which has supernatural money-drawing abilities. I don’t know about you, but I don’t plan to put a dead man’s skin on me just to have a couple extra bucks in my bank account. In addition to the grisly pants, there are old magical staves as well as frightening dolls. The owner is very knowledgeable and will explain the exhibits to you. This witchcraft museum is worth a go!
Magicum Museum in Berlin, Germany
The Magicum Museum in Berlin, Germany has everything from witchcraft exhibits to parlour magic. Learn about the witch trials in Germany, as well as alchemy. This magic museum differs from the others in that it is interactive – it encourages its visitors to get involved with the exhibits including reading your own tarot cards! The museum is located in an artsy part of Berlin and they are open every day from 10am to 8pm, with special hours on holidays. Check their website for upcoming events and ticket information.
Salem Witch Museum in Salem, MA
The Salem Witch Museum differs from The Witch House Museum with large displays of the historical events of the Salem Witch Trials. There are thirteen life-size displays based on actual historical documents from the trials. The museum takes about an hour to tour and is open daily except holidays. I’ve heard mixed reviews on this museum – some say it’s intriguing, others say it’s boring. While I was in Salem, the museum was closed…so although they say they’re open daily the hours may vary. It’s worth checking out on your next visit to Salem.
Hexenmuseum in Switzerland
If you’re ever in Switzerland, namely Granichen, take some time to visit the witchcraft museum called Hexenmuseum Schweiz. I’ve heard it’s one of the best witchcraft museums in the world. Here’s an excerpt from the Hexenmuseum website: “You want to know what are lightning stones and dragon tongues, why the mistletoe helps against dizziness, black cats supposedly bring misfortune, where the magic word Abracadabra comes from and what exactly happened in the witch trials in the Middle Ages and early modern times?” Yes, please!
https://otherworldlyoracle.com/the-worlds-best-witchcraft-museums-and-magical-exhibits/
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Matthew Rottler is an Orlando audio/visual hopeful that’s making strides in the central Florida community with Studio Green 557. From the looks of his projects, I feel he’s got some good quality media going on.
Matthew has achieved his education for his craft via the DAVE school (Digital Animation Visual Effects). I recall seeing the DAVE booth up constantly at many conventions and they have an impressive and informative set up.
Cecil Garner and other cosplayers partnered with Matthew Rottler to produce a symbiotic ensemble in order to promote said cosplayers and to get their name further into the ether and to continue garnering their exposure to geek fans everywhere!
I’ve personally witnessed Cecil Grimes and Shellane Deamarest partake in their fan-made Walking Dead projects. The Studio Green 557 company just further helps reinforce these actors/cosplayers’ star power. Rottler is hoping to make a name for himself, and with these passionate and successful cosplayers backing him, I’m sure he’ll make an amazing experience for prospects interested in taking him on for quality projects.
I had spoken with Mr. Rottler about Studio Green 557 and how it operates. He even has an origin story of his own and explains how original his work is and how he stands out against the competition. His recent passion project is that of the all too familiar post-apocalyptic zombie variety and I delved into some of the actors he worked with.
1. How did Studio Green 557 get its start?
My love of the arts started at an early age. As a child, I watched my grandfather paint pictures of nature scenes many nights after dinner. I began my formal study of the arts in high school where I took drawing, computer-aided drafting, and photography. Later, I moved to Orlando, FL to attend the Digital Animation Visual Effects School (DAVE school) to learn 3D modeling, texturing, and animation skills to broaden my interests in the arts and learn to create movie magic. I graduated from the DAVE school with a degree in Digital Animation and Visual Effects in December 2011. After graduation the business was launched.
2. What makes Studio Green 557 a stand-out in their methods, what sets you apart from the rest…your focus?
As a visual effects multimedia production company I use my combined skill sets of photography and 2D/3D computer animation to create traditional portraits, pet portraits, enhanced portraits, videos, product photography, business design/social media content, and social events. The current focus is photography and video content for social media usage to help businesses grow and promote.
3. Are you reaching out to other mediums and methods to spread the word about Studio Green 557?
We currently have a website (StudioGreen557.com) as well as a presence on Instagram, and Facebook. As we grow we plan more places and ways to spread the word.
4. I see you had collaborated with the local Florida cosplayers, some of which have done well for themselves. Care to elaborate on what that project entailed?
Shortly after my graduation in 2011 I started to follow Cecil Garner of Cecil Grimes Cosplay on social media as well as in person at conventions. As our friendship grew, we both saw the value of a collaboration. I wanted to give back to the DAVE School and after a few meetings we set up the first zombie photo/video shoot on their green screen stage. This provide Cecil and Studio Green 557 with new photos and videos to promote our brands while at the same time it was a live educational workshop for the DAVE School students to learn and get some hands-on experience.
One of my favorite jobs I was booked for was a 50’s themed birthday party for Kimmy Roschewski a great friend and amazing cosplayer.
I’m currently working doing freelance work for Cos-A-Commotion creating social media content and videos to promote future events they are booked for and to help expand their brand awareness. I will be traveling with Cos -A-Commotion to conventions to capture those behind the booth and on the road stories and with Shellane and Dean backing this miraculous setplay, this is when “The Cosplay Looks Real“!
The below is a nice tease of Matt’s Walking Dead project.
5. Cecil Garner had informed me that the photo shoot had evolved into a film short of sorts, with the intention of being entered into film festivals. Any idea when the big reveal on that will be and which festivals?
Yes! After I process all the footage form the recent photo/video shoot and finish the editing process there will be a short fan film. We had 3 cameras running on every scene so there is a lot. It will be one of those untold encounters between Rick Grimes and Negan. It will feature Cecil Garner of Cecil Grimes Cosplay, Gene Russell (Negan Unchained), and Shellane Demarest of Cos A Commoton.
We had an amazing crew, and some came great distances to be part of it. I would like to thank the entire crew helping make it possible. This is a Walking Dead fan film made by Walking Dead fans that came together to express their love for the show and be a part of it in their own way to give back. There is no release date currently and what film festivals we hope to be included in. I will release a teaser trailer asap so be sure to follow Studio Green 557, Cos-A-Commotion, Cecil Grimes Cosplay, and Negan Unchained for updates!
6. Anything else you’d like to add?
We have many original projects being developed as well as other fan films in our future we will be part of. More details on those projects as they become available. I would like to thank Florida Geek Scene for this opportunity to share our journey thus far.
The following are cosplayer testimonials from those who have a passion for their craft as well as entertainment. Cecil Grimes is a world renowned Walking Dead Rick Grimes cosplayer that has a setplay diorama a la the Alexandria Safe-Zone and he gives his testimonial regarding his cohort Matthew.
Cecil Grimes (Garner) – It has been a pleasure working with Mathew Rottler and studio green screen 557.. He is always on time and well equipped to do the job at hand.. Mr. Rottler is very talented and knowledgeable and takes the extra time to explain everything he is doing to the last detail.. i would recommend as a goto for any green screen needs photo shoots and video projects.
Shellane and Dean Demarest, popular for their convention setplays that portray a live-action diorama,weighed in on their Studio Green 557 experience.
Shellane Demarest (Michonne, Fish Mooney, Wakandan Warrior, Gamora) – Matthew Rottler, the owner of Studio Green 557, invited me to this fun project and although I was extremely fatigued from an earlier shoot, I had so much fun. Once the project began, I forgot how tired I was! Mr. Rottler’s preparation made this shoot flawless. From his storyboards, assistants, and professional equipment, it didn’t feel anything less than a television production set. For anyone looking to create a movie reel, short film or anything requiring a video project Studio Green 557 is the talent you should hire.
Dean Demarest (Doctor Strange, Oswald Cobblepot, Rick Grimes) – I have been working with Studio Green for several months now. Matt has helped our business tremendously with his creativity and work ethic. Highly recommended.
Kimmy Roschewski, who has a cornucopia of costumes rather vast, gave accolades to Matt as well. From something as personal as a birthday celebration to an event at the well known Gods & Monsters locale off of Int’d Drive, Orlando, it sounds like Kimmy feels this is a company that can be relied upon.
Kimmy Roschewski – (Most common cosplays are Wonder Woman variations, Harley Quinn, Pocahontas and Moana, Tia Dalma and Mary Sanderson. Recently I’ve also done Mera from Aquaman a few times ) – I worked with the studio twice once I hired them for my birthday party and at another occasion I worked with them at a anniversary party for Gods & Monsters. Roger has always been a friendly kind and professional photographer who is very well informed about his craft.
He never fails to make it a fun time and never stresses about time or rushing through the process he values quality over quantity. He takes the time to get to know those he works with and it always open to doing new projects whether it be active shooting walking around during an event or a stylized shoot in a single location.
(Kimmy’s more detailed cosplay line-up) My most common cosplays are Wonder Woman variations, Harley Quinn from Suicide Squad, Pocahontas for which my arm tattoos are real and Moana from Disney, I’m also well known for my Tia Dalma from Pirates of the Caribbean and Mary Sanderson from Hocus Pocus. Recently I’ve also done Mera from Aquaman a few times.
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Studio Green 557: A Look Into A Media Production’s Journey With Florida Cosplayers Matthew Rottler is an Orlando audio/visual hopeful that's making strides in the central Florida community with…
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Ash Dykes nears the end of Mission Yangtze
Uk adventurer and Water-to-Go ambassador, Ash Dykes, is getting ever closer to the end of his latest mission. He is 560 miles away from becoming the first person to walk the length of the Yangtze River.
He passed the 3000-mile mark of Mission Yangtze and his continuing his excellent progress along the Yangtze and through China. He is covering around 30 miles a day despite everything that the Yangtze has thrown at him. This part of the mission has been an important time to interact with followers, media outlets and people along the way to raise awareness about what he is set to achieve.
During his whole expedition but more recently, Ash has been making time to interact with people along the way, giving interviews or speeches in order to share all aspects of the journey so far.
He has been presenting to children at a primary school, all full of energy and eager to meet Ash in person after they have heard about his extraordinary journey. Ash loves sharing stories about the mission so far and tries to help with advice whenever he can. Whether that is facing challenges and rising against the struggle, or understanding just how amazing our planet is.
Back in March, Ash was featured on the cover story of China Daily documenting his journey with more and more media gaining interest.
Cecille Elbeleidi, British Consul General in Chongqing, called Dykes “an excellent example of UK’s dynamic and adventurous spirit.” “I’m particularly pleased that, along with his expedition, he has been actively promoting environment conservation, reduced use of plastics and wildlife protection,” she told China Daily.
In April, Ash was invited by the ‘China Adventure Association’ for a live interview as well as Chongqing Radio, Chongqing TV, Youth Daily and Discover Chongqing. Ash loved it and is totally excited about the interactivity of his mission so far.
Ash’s status and popularity has been ever-growing in China as more people hear about his latest and previous missions, as well as interacting with his posts on social media.
He has also been presenting, doing various appearances, book signing events, leading a two day trip up a local mountain for Kailas, doing school talks, attending a charity event for disadvantaged children and taking on many interviews and meetings.
This is a great opportunity for Ash to promote his mission, inspire the next generation and provide knowledge from his other adventures. They have all been very well attended and Ash has been overwhelmed by the support and interest in Mission Yangtze, in China particularly.
Ash got approached by the ‘WUJI’ brand that flew him First Class to Shanghai for a ‘fast’ photo shoot for GQ magazine together with Chinese action movie and martial art star 向佐 Jacky Heung. WUJI is a cobranded clothing range between Adidas and international Movie Star Jet Li. WUJI wanted two social influencers, one from the east and one from the west, to come together and show off the beauty of this martial art.
Ash’s background is mainly Muay Thai, but he is always eager to learn more and put on a show. Jacky, with his 10+ years of experience, guided Ash through some basic Kung-Fu moves and certainly got Ash looking sharp for the photos.
There was a recent Adidas Photo Exhibition in Shanghai, followed by the official launch. With Adidas, GQ, Jacky Heung and Ash Dykes sharing across their social media platforms, this generated a reach of tens of millions across China. You can read more about it here.
This is just one example of how Ash’s reputation is growing in China and how word is quickly spreading about his epic mission.
But it hasn’t all been easy as we explained in our previous blogs on Mission Yangtze. He has come through irrepressible weather, threat of dangerous animals and bouts of illness, but now he is facing the challenge of very difficult terrain.
These pictures capture the terrain that he is now covering and are the reason why by at the end of this mission, he would have done over 4,000 miles. Sometimes it’s not physically possible to follow the river by its bank and often he has been forced to either trek on the nearest mountainous ridge – or within the valley on the opposite side to the ridges.
Being able to adapt and understanding your surroundings, is the key to survival.
Ash Dykes
Ash has had to draw upon his skills and instinct to adapt to his surroundings. He has had to make decisions right from the very beginning that haven’t been the easiest to make but have ensured that he has reached this point in the expedition to minimise threats the safety, health and wellbeing of himself and his team.
He has had to remain focussed on the job in hand and ensure that he kept up the great progress on the expedition, regardless of the other aspects surrounding Mission Yangtze. It hasn’t been easy by any means but has been able to rely on his strict training regime and intense preparation he made in advance of embarking on this latest challenge.
I’ve always taken my training seriously and actually realised my passion for fitness long before exploration. What keeps me motivated is trying to picture the toughest scenarios I’ll face when out in the wild and often – the toughest has come true, where I’ve relied on my training to survive. Whether that’s crossing the most terrifying landslides, hacking through the densest and most demanding jungles or fighting and hanging on in there during a bout with malaria. Mindset is a whole different ball game but never be mistaken – with how important training and fitness is. I don’t come with a military mind, I come self taught, I’ve learnt from people I’ve met and I’ve learnt through making mistakes, falling and standing back up again with no brotherhood support, just my very own mind and body.
Ash Dykes
The longer routes, however, have been sort of a blessing in disguise as he has been able to take in more of the spectacular sights and atmosphere of China. If he was to stick to walking everyday, he would miss out on the true adventure, which is integrating and learning from the locals that he meets.
Throughout his journey, the people of China have been incredibly warm, welcoming and actually a huge part of the expedition itself, makes this country feel like a second home for him.
There have been several moments or problems that have threatened the mission, even before Ash had it all planned, it seems:
Many had warned me before, that it was impossible to walk the Yangtze from the source to the sea
Ash Dykes
Because the first section on the plateau (at an average of over 4,500 meters above sea level) and the barely inhabited mountain areas are very dangerous to cross, it was recommended that he shouldn’t even attempt the mission. But Ash carried on with preparations, regardless, and has got through the hardest part of the mission; even if it did take its toll on his team.
In order to cross the plateau and mountains in good weather, the journey was planned to start in summer, but because of delays in preparations, Dykes arrived in Qinghai in late August as the days were becoming shorter and colder. Unwilling to wait for another year, he decided to press on. He would be the first to say it was difficult but his determination and motivation to succeed helped him through.
Mission Yangtze is not only a human feat and world first, it’s a mission to showcase the true beauty and wonders of China, (and) highlight the environment and positive work being done to protect it
Ash Dykes
Ash managed to spend a day with the 赠客网Zenker Network, who work with disadvantaged children. He shared stories with the children, showing them the impossible is possible, to stay focussed on your dream, follow your heart and the importance of enjoying yet protecting this planet we live on.
This was followed by litter picking along the Yangtze River bank. It is great to see the young people taking care of the planet and the environment. As Ash states – “it’s the future generation that will really help turn around the destruction we’ve caused to this planet ”
Ash has also sought to make this expedition one of the most interactive. This wasn’t just about social media posts, it has been about making appearances and truly getting involved in the local areas and big cities that he has passed through. Ash loves sharing stories about the mission so far but also of previous expeditions.
The next step has been allowing people to physically join and share the journey, so he can showcase furthermore, the beauty and diversity of this massive country and highlight all the positive things being done to protect the natural environment.
This is all going to be featured in his documentary series that he is working on with a television production company in China. The country is so vast and here are still so many hidden treasures to discover.
Whilst there have been many changes of many aspects during the mission, one thing that has remained the same and with Ash throughout is his trusted Water-to-Go bottle.
Water-to-Go is my number one item on all expeditions
Ash Dykes
He recently reflected how Water-to-Go has kept him safe over a number years and helped him to complete his other world-first expedition in Mongolia and Madagascar. He has hiked through the Gobi-Desert solo and unsupported, hacked through dense jungle and survived sub-zero temperatures.
He highlighted – “Through all of this, I’ve never had to worry about water, as long as there is a water source near by, this bottle makes it instantly drinkable. I’ve even scooped up mud puddle water in Madagascar and was able to drink it straight away due to the 3 in 1 built in water filtration technology.”
It is fantastic to hear that during his two world-first records and currently on his third – Ash has not needed to buy plastic bottles. This sets a great precedent to the people following him and all the people that he has met along the way. We are proud to sponsor him and to be a part of his journey.
It has been a huge mission that many said was not possible, but Ash has overcome everything that he has faced so far and is on the brink of history. As Ash enters the final weeks of his expedition, make sure you read all about it and realize how big an achievement this will be.
You can keep up to date with Ash and his journey via his live tracker and on social media.
The post Ash Dykes nears the end of Mission Yangtze appeared first on News.
Ash Dykes nears the end of Mission Yangtze syndicated from https://osmowaterfilters.blogspot.com/
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How to be Black
My original reason for self-publishing a novel was to allow my protagonists, Langston and Cecile, the light of day. I started with the notion that if only a handful of people read my book, my beloved creations would still have lived and breathed somewhere other than on my computer. Publishers who cater to people like me used to be called vanity presses; there's some truth to that. It didn't take long before I began to dream of a larger audience, watching YouTube videos and absorbing blog posts that purported to show indie authors how to achieve unimaginable success. One of the most important parts of the plan seemed to be reviews, and so, emboldened by three 5 star reviews from total strangers, I asked everyone I could who had read my book if they would mind posting their opinions about it on Amazon. Some did, but many didn't, so I took it to the next level, paying to join a database that allowed me to contact random people who had demonstrated an interest in writing and sharing reviews.
I sent out numerous requests, but so far only a couple of those people have followed through. One of them is the inspiration for this post. Dr. Jacques Coulardeau sent me his review—two pages so full of inaccuracies and negative extrapolation that I was shocked that he gave me 4 stars—on Martin Luther King Day, a coincidence that I find ironic. Examples of his misleading statements include his portrayal of Cecile as “one who makes love with any boy available that is rather good looking,” for whom “pre-marital intercourse is a basic principle,” even though she has sex with exactly two men in the book, the first a one night stand during which she loses her virginity, the second her eventual husband. Coulardeau then glosses over the character's considerable internal conflict between her religious background and her sexual relationship with the “love of her life” by saying, “She does not realize her contradiction.” Um...not true. When Langston and Cecile meet, the reviewer says that Cecile “of course gives herself as if it were a question of life or death,” even though their relationship unfolds long distance. He even rebuts his own statement by adding “Cecile in a way makes the relation kind of satirical, humorous, un-serious.” Dr. Coulardeau states that Langston's decision to open a West Indian restaurant is simply because the cuisine is trendy. Um...nope. He also mentions that Langston's friends-with-benefits relationship, while in college, with the daughter of his Italian boss is doomed because of her father's disapproval, implying that Langston and Marietta aren't both aware, from day one, that their contact is a dalliance, and failing to mention an even more intense disapproval from Langston's Jamaican grandmother. And so on.
I won't dispute every incorrect statement, but—call me Donald Trump—I can't leave his final conclusion about my protagonists alone: “They definitely tricked their life-treks and they ended lost in some kind of tasteless, heartless, mindless deculturated wasteland.” His evidence? The characters are neither black nor West Indian enough for him. They eat West Indian food, but they don't speak the way he thinks they should (he is apparently a linguist; I'm merely someone who grew up as a Canadian West Indian). Further evidence of lost cultural identity includes Langston's decision to cook a jerked turkey with mango salsa at Thanksgiving. I forgot to mention that the expert on what West Indians are supposed to be is an elderly Jewish man, who also took time out to pass judgments on Cecile's Christian journey in ways that my devoutly Christian readers did not. Huh?
These days, it's rare that a white person is overtly paternalistic enough to publicly claim knowledge of who black people should be, which is pretty much the same thing as informing us of our proper “place.” For obvious reasons, these kinds of statements are not nearly so uncommon in the black community. For example, the inability to “code-switch” is seen by some melanated people as proof of being an oreo: black on the outside, white on the inside. What does that mean, though?
Being an immigrant changes things, whether your relocation is voluntary or involuntary. Isn't it both natural and human to exert and receive influence as a result? When Dr. Coulardeau rails against the evils of multiculturalism, I think he may mean that distinct ethnic groups shouldn't lose touch with their cultural heritage. I support this idea, however, what does that include and exclude? Am I allowed to like only a particular kind of music, or cook a particular kind of food? If I am allowed to like things that aren't native to my ethnic group, a concept that has become hopelessly tangled, in most cases, by intermarriage (and here I mean even Jamaicans marrying Nigerians), how much should we like those things? How often can we indulge in them? What if we understand some of our ancestral language or dialect, but aren't fluent? Do we all need to repatriate to a country of cultural origin? Can we live in the suburbs? Or should our entire lives become a kind of performance art?
Coulardeau noted that “Canada is the best representative of multiculturalism and New York (where Cecile attends Juilliard) is one of the most diverse melting pot or salad bowl in the world,” calling the references to the various cultures there “anecdotal.” First, Canada is a vast nation, and I can assure you that most of it isn't particularly multicultural, although Toronto, where Langston lives (in Little Jamaica!), certainly consists of distinct ethnic enclaves. My main focus in writing the book, however, had to do with issues of personal growth that people can confront regardless of their race. Nevertheless, one reviewer said, “The issue of race is an important sub-stratum of the story and adds to its depth.” Another take: “How refreshing to encounter complex people who deal with racism and nonetheless dream beyond the limits of what's realistic. Unlike a lot of prime time television, Letting Go's characters defy stereotypes and earn your trust as a reader.” This reviewer, who is an African American female activist, also said of Cecile, “She's confident in her blackness and even when she's down, she's not out.”
Enough self-defense. I am more drawn to people's internal lives, so people who are looking for detailed discussions of place may be disappointed; my references to setting have a tendency to be secondary. That said, my book is semi-autobiographical (SEMI!), and I certainly could have included more of my own experiences with race and culture, including the very self-conscious efforts made by me and my black friends to reject as much as possible that wasn't considered “black,” whether it was by claiming to hate most of the music on the radio in our overwhelmingly white town, or never wanting to say a white person was attractive, because black beauty was so undervalued that it seemed wrong to add to the problem by endorsing the prevailing notions, even slightly. Some of my other formative experiences with my culture included learning about slavery and segregation, both in America and the West Indies, being sent to classes in West Indian dance, joining the Junior Afro-Canadian society consisting of my siblings and friends (to mirror the Afro-Canadian society my parents had joined), annual visits to Bermuda with my mom, and learning Jamaican folk songs from my dad. I also felt especially proud of hall of fame quarterback Warren Moon and the similarly storied hockey goalie, Grant Fuhr. Then again, was it “black” to even be aware of hockey? Or was that, too, the result of losing touch with my roots? Was it breaking down a barrier or assimilation when Arthur Mitchell founded the Dance Theater of Harlem? And if ballet is okay for black people, should Misty Copeland have ended up in a predominantly white company?
To be fair, I suspect Dr. Coulardeau might have been okay with Cecile's focus on classical music if the book had followed up a conversation about the need to incorporate music by black composers into her repertoire— something I endorse and have put into practice—with concrete examples. I admit to dropping the ball on that one; I was more interested in her character's awakening as a self-confident woman, just as I was interested in Langston's need to confront the fears that kept him bound, but although the book is already 500 pages long, a few sentences here or there would have made my novel richer. Them again, why should any black person, real or imaginary, have to define him or herself by someone else's cultural standards, which are higher, in this regard, than the bar most white people need to reach? One answer is that everything about black people has been denigrated so much that we need to affirm our identity. The thing is, we're still human, which means we're not monolithic. Will black people ever earn the right to just be, in all of our complex variations and manifestations? Or should all books feature black protagonists who speak mainly the vernacular, ideally in the inner city, during slavery or the Civil Rights era? Will melanated people always have to earn their “black card,” even if they're fictional?
Coulardeau sarcastically refers to Langston “so black...that his first girl friend is a white woman.” I put that relationship in my book is because seeing a black man with a white woman still produces a twinge in my gut, even though I realize that the importance of race has been inflated by a history of hate. If I'm honest, I must confess that I have some litmus tests of black authenticity: Clarence Thomas doesn't pass, for example, because his Supreme Court rulings and other statements have shown what looks to me like evidence of self-hatred. Still, I don't think it's reasonable to assume that every black man who gets involved with a white woman has fallen for the false notion that their pale skin makes them the biggest trophy of all. I want black men and black women to heal the deep wounds inflicted by injustice, set down the resulting baggage, and truly embrace each other. Still, it is my firm belief that we can love ourselves without climbing into a box. At least, I hope so, because the opposite of multicultural is homogeneous. Even if it were possible to retreat behind impenetrable racial and cultural fences, is that advisable? Can't I be black and still cook a damned turkey? Especially in Canada, where Thanksgiving isn't connected to its ancestral sins against aboriginal people (which certainly exist), but rather the thought that having a day off to sit down with your family and express some gratitude sounded like a good idea?
People have mentioned finishing my book and wondering what the characters did after it ended. Despite everything I just said, if I do write a sequel, I may just go into more detail regarding culture, which is something I don't always analyze deeply unless affronted. So even though I find Coulardeau's comments presumptuous, misleading, and at times completely inaccurate, they did make me think.
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113 - Niecelet
Gooooooood eevening, fine citizens. I’m your late night host this week, here to keep you company after sundownn.
Welcome to Night Vale!
As you regular listeners already know, I took over the night shifts this week, because I’ve been spending my days with a very special house guest. Well, more like one and a half house guests. My favorite cousin Sabina is visiting, and she’s 7 months pregnant with what will be my second ever niece. Well, my first ever niece once removed. First ever niece once removed? That takes too long, let’s do – “niecelet”.
My sister’s daughter Janice is a teenager. It’s been so long since I’ve had a new baby in my family so, if you hear a certain knowing, avuncular quality in my voice, it’s because you are listening to an expecting uncle. I’m already getting some of those leather patches sewed onto the elbows of my windbreaker.
All week, Sabina and I have been reading baby books, and I am a veritable expert at this point. A baby at 7 months is as big as an eggplant. She can already get the hiccups and déjà-baby-vu, and has a fully developed sense of comedic timing. I’m holding an eggplant with me here in this studio to practice supporting her neck. Also to make sure I have something to eat when I get home. Sabina’s cleaned out the fridge pretty thoroughly.
Back at my place, Sabina’s been keeping the radio on 24/7, so the niecelet will know the owner of this dulcet baritone already loves her very much. Hello, almost-niece!
Doing all this reading together, it seems crazy to learn just how vulnerable we are, when we first enter the world. Did you know that a newborn doesn’t even have kneecaps yet? That it has a hole in the top of its skull, which must be taped shut so the newborn does not escape through it during the night? It’s amazing any of us survive to the shaming ceremonies at all!
Speaking of rites of passage, the annual Night Vale Science Fair is scheduled for this Monday night. Every fourth grader is expected to report to the Rec Center for a fun-filled evening of free programs and live demonstrations. Organizers say the kiddos will have a chance to make a 1:1 scale volcano, that spews real ash and molten igneous rock. They’ll learn how a pile of pennies can be transformed into a battery, simply by taking those pennies to Walgreens and exchanging them for a pack of Duracell double A’s. They’ll learn about about centripetal force by pouring a bucket full of water, and then filling out a worksheet on centripetal force. They’ll plant a bean sprout in a Styrofoam cup that won’t disintegrate until their grandchildren have set off on exploratory missions to find another planet that can support bean sprouts.
Hmm, what else might be on the Community Calendar this week, you ask? Well, let me work at my own pace over here, OK pal? Like all jobs worth doing, this one takes focus and patience. You can’t just rush through it. As my optometrist says, “measure twice, cut once, then do the left eye.” So I guess that’s really measure four times total and cut two times, but I had an astigmatism so I ended up just sticking with contacts anyway.
Sooo.. [papers rustling] let’s see here. [clears throat] M-h-h-h-hmm, this week’s events. On Tuesday night, head over to the Band Shell to hear a set from Ouroboros, the rock band that only plays covers of their own songs. Wednesday, Ablution in Fresca to celebrate the start of the Andorran New Year. Thursday is Thirsty Thursday. Consume no liquids. You’re gonna get real thirsty! Friday has been indefinitely delayed by weather at O’Hare, and is now pleading with a United representative for a hotel voucher to avoid sleeping in a plastic chair in Concourse C.
Early morning on Saturday, we are in for a rare astronomical treat. The Earth will fully eclipse the Sun, blotting out its light completely, so that only a ring of wispy blue remains visible against the blackness. Now this eclipse will not be observable on Earth, of course, and to our knowledge there is no planet on which this phenomenon could be observed. There’s just nothing on that particular vector in space, but at 4:13 AM on Saturday morning, the total eclipse will occur, and that blue corona will shine softly in the dark, like a delicate smoke ring. And that dim blue halo will represent the entirety of us. Our dramas, dreams, and disappointments. The first ride without the training wheels. Our 8th grade dances. Our double Windsors and our veils, our sleepless nights in waiting rooms. Our rush hour commuters, our dozing through recitals til the one we love goes on. Our crying in the car as the one we love leaves home. Just that thin filament of blue, on which we wage our peace.
The on Sunday, tacos and gun safety with Three-eyed Bill at First Methodist.
Stay tuned, savvy listeners, for in a moment I’ll be sharing Night Vale’s third quarter economic development report. To my knowledge, we’ve never had an economic development report before for any quarter, but the press release looked official, and we all know that new municipal arms of government form all the time. Arms that then pull back to be reabsorbed by the government shoulder from which they sprouted.
But before crunching those numbers, a quick message from today’s sponsor. Equinox Gym. At Equinox, we focus on the whole body. Particularly, the soft and vulnerable parts of that body. Stop by our windowless complex today to meet with a dietician about this month’s promotion, the Zima cleanse. Or for even faster results, nothing torches calories like our calorie torch. Also, new members this week to Equinox receive 60 days of free access to our popular Judgment Spa. This has been a word from our sponsor.
[booming voice] Now to business news. Whoa! Did that sound unusually powerful to you? Ooh, I sorta took myself by surprise there, like I grew a suit or something! [chuckles] [clears throat] The Night Vale Economic Development Board, or NV-ec-dev-B for short and cumbersome, sent a press release at the closing bell of the Night Vale stock exchange. The bulletin said that futures are down, way down. Although the recent past is trading briskly. In response to declining levels of interests, NV-ec-dev-B plans to incentivize consumer spending. At the start of tomorrow’s business day, they’ll launch an abject prompt campaign of xenophobia, branded as nationalism, branded as civic bride, branded as a 2008 F150 Ford truck with satellite radio, air conditioned seats, and a heavy-duty hitch to haul away whatever it is you’re trying to hide.
So make plans this weekend to head out towards the used car lot with your hands in the air and your checkbook in your mouth, to meet with a sales person about financing options. You might be surprised by how few years of indentured servitude can you get you behind the wheel of a Ford truck.
You know what cars make me think of? Well, Carlos. I guess, but everything makes me think of Carlos. And his name is an anagram of “Lo cars”. He’s out of town at Erlenmeyer Flask Con this week, and I miss something fierce! But what I was going to say is that the thought of buying a car reminds me of my niecelet! It’s extraordinary to think that she’ll be a teenager some day, getting her driver’s permit, then her license, then her crossbow - going through all of these phases we all pass through. It’s like there’s a future attached to her already. Inside Sabina, there’s a baby, and seated inside the baby there’s the toddler. And within her are the blueprints for the girl. And soon, she’ll be out here learning to play the sitar and considering vegetarianism, then voting and buying lottery tickets. Well, those are the same thing really. And I’ll get to bear witness to this blooming life. Some day, she might even decide to have a niece of her own.
[tearily] Oh, OK. Um, something is in young Cecil’s eye over here. Ooh! Hang tight, team, I’m just gonna run out and grab a bunch of tissues from the supply closet to remove this bothersome… [key turns in lock, falls down] OK, listeners, I must admit I’m in a state of concerned agitation here. When I tried to open the door of the studio, the handle – came off in my hand and and and and when I went to reinsert it, I found that the hole was (tamped) full of soft hot tar, which cannot be up to code. So now I find myself in a small, soundproof, airtight room with a doorless handle in my left hand and a handle-less door before me. I’m uh… Huh… I’m- I’m I’m uncertain of just how to proceed, uh, I can’t imagine there’s more than a few hours’ worth of oxygen in here, even if the studio’s potted fern works double duty on converting the carbon dioxide.
Oh man and of course, I left my phone in my jeans in the other room, you know, after I changed into my professional radio hosting unitard. I, OK, I need some time to assess the situation.
I’ll leave you to the weather.
[Weather: "If We Live" by Disparition]
OK. OK, OK, alright calm down, calm down Cecil, calm down, and you can beat this. be like the patient viper who does not strike until his prey is upon him. [sharp exhale] Be like the praying mantis whose head is a guitar pick. Keep your heart rate low and your focus steady, and good God, sit down, man. Save your strength. Breathe deep enough to get the air inside your brain and think. What would an uncle do?
Hmmm. Hummmmmmmm. [getting faster and higher] Hmmmmmmmmmmm, hmmmmmmmmmmm-hmmmmmmmmmmmm… Oh! OK, I’ve got it. Easy, I just need one of you to come and open the door. [chuckles] OK, here I am behaving like I’m alone, but of course I’m not alone, ha ha ha ha ha! Oh, I’ve got all of Night Vale listening. Ooh, that is a relief! Come to think of it, I imagine hundreds of you may be on your way already, and I can’t have the whole town rushing over all at once. That would cause traffic jams, hysteria, straightline winds gusting up to 60 knots. [laughs] If you’re on your way, just shoot quick flare into the sky, so that everybody knows you’re the one on the way. M-more importantly so that I know you’re on the way.
You guys, it’s like 8 PM, you’re not all in your PJ’s yet. Just need one person to make the trip. It’s like an 8-minute drive from your apartment, come on! Is… Is no one listening? I mean, the memo from management at the last all-staff meeting did mention low late night ratings but – this is not low, this is talking into a tin can on string whose other end is tied to a fire hydrant at the bottom of the sea, this is utter futility, this is falling in the woods and no one’s there to hear you. This is not seeing the Cecil for the trees, this is – Kafka meets Becket and tells him to talk to the hand. This is – stop, full stop. Cecil. [deep breath] This indignation does me no good at all. Just burns through my oxygen supply, which is running low already. This rate, I’ll never survive until the morning commuters tune in. Just think, Cecil. Think like an uncle.
Ooh. That’s it! There is at least one person listening. Babies never sleep thru the night, right? So you, niecelet, you should be able to hear me. Tho I imagine the sound of my voice may be muffled by the blankets on the guest bed and Sabina’s abdominal muscles. Alright, niecelet, I need you. We’ve got to find a way to wake up Sabina. I need you to kick, brace your little elbows on the soft wall behind you and really kick! Aim for a spot under the ribs, that roof of bone above you. And again. [pants rhythmically] Kick! Good, again! [pants rhythmically] Kick! Good, again! Now give it everything you’ve got this time! Sabina, wake up! This is an emergency! Wake u-
Oh. The station phone is ringing. God I forgot we even had this. uh caller, you’re on the air.
Sabina: Hey, Cecil. The baby was keeping me up and I turned on the station and-
Cecil: Sabina! Oh, thank God you’re awake! No, no it’s not a shtick, listen. I am trapped in the studio and I just need someone to open the door from the outs-
Sabina: Oh OK, I’ll be right there. But I’m starving, I may stop by Subway for a mashed potato and Nutella sandwich.
Cecil: No, please come now! We’ve got snacks in the breakroom pantry.. I think. I’ll set you up with some (gorb and gevilta) fish.
Sabina: Alright. Hey, did you know that there’s a faceless old woman living in your home? She keeps trying to put lotion on my belly, while I’m sleeping.
Cecil: Yeah, she does that. Listen, my spare office keys are by the lucky cat. See you soon, and thank you Sabina!
Sabina: Hey, enough with the lotion, lady!
Ooooohh. And thank you, niecelet! At negative two months old, you’ve already saved a life! And somehow I get the feeling mine might be just the first of many. If you need bailing out of a tight spot some day, you know who to call. I’m the baritone you can count on any time, kid, day or night shift.
Ahhh, man! I can’t wait for that door to open so I can get a lungful of fresh air. Oh, it’s funny how small a room can feel when you’re not allowed to leave. Oh, sorry I [chuckles] forgot who I was talking to for a second. Well, as soon as you’re out here breathing air yourself, I’m getting you a pair of cleats and a pair of baby shinguards and a baby cape, too. I can’t wait to meet you, little hero of a niecelet! But first, I’m making your mother some midnight eggplant parmesan.
Stay tuned next for the sounds of a door opening, a rush of oxygen-rich air, and a wheezing celebration of an overworked respiratory system. Aany second now. Aaaany second. Aaaaaanyyyy secondd.
[long silence]
Today’s proverb: Follow your heart. You need it. Where did it ever learn to walk?
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