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#everything I do is wrong to him everything I do is evil everything I do is not enough
scribbleswithsaro · 2 days
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"𝐥𝐢𝐥𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡" a collection of lines from the 2002 movie Lilo and Stitch.       ❛ i prefer to be called evil genius. ❜                ❛ does this look infected to you? ❜         ❛ what's going on down there? ❜         ❛ am i to assume you are the expert? ❜         ❛ it's sandwich day. ❜         ❛ you better not have rabies. ❜         ❛ hey! watch where you're going, stupidhead! ❜       ❛ leave me alone to die. ❜       ❛ you are so finished when i get in there. ❜       ❛ i thought we could sit out here and talk. ❜       ❛ you don't look like a social worker ❜       ❛ did you ever kill anyone? ❜       ❛ let me illuminate to you the precarious situation in which you have found yourself. ❜       ❛ i am the one they call when things go wrong. and things have indeed gone wrong. ❜       ❛ in case you're wondering, this did not go well. ❜       ❛ you have three days to change my mind. ❜       ❛ i shouldn't have yelled at you. ❜       ❛ your butt is crushing me. ❜       ❛ why do you act so weird? ❜       ❛ i have just discovered this situation to be far too hazardous! ❜       ❛ this is low even for you. ❜       ❛ that is the ugliest thing i have ever saw. ❜       ❛ oh, great, he's loose. ❜       ❛ you're loose in the house all the time, and i sleep just fine. ❜       ❛ it's nice to live on an island with no large cities. ❜       ❛ she likes your butt and fancy hair. ❜       ❛ your head looks... swollen. ❜       ❛ he's just cranky because it's his bedtime. ❜       ❛ don't pull on her head! she's recovering from surgery. ❜       ❛ you wreck everything you touch. ❜       ❛ no more caffeine for you. ❜       ❛ you're just jealous 'cause i'm pretty! ❜       ❛ i think it might be a koala. an evil koala. ❜       ❛ what must it be like to have nothing? not even memories to visit in the middle of the night... ❜       ❛ see? he's sad, because he's all alone and nobody wants him. ❜       ❛ thus far you have been adrift in the sheltered harbor of my patience. ❜       ❛ here. hold it like this and put your fingers here. ❜       ❛ this is the face of romance. ❜       ❛ she looks like she could use some lovin'. ❜       ❛ we've been having a bad day. ❜       ❛ this isn't what it looks like. ❜       ❛ do you dream about them? ❜       ❛ i hate the ocean! ❜       ❛ sometimes you try your hardest but things don't work out the way you want them to. sometimes things have to change. and maybe sometimes they're for the better. even if... ❜       ❛ oh, good. my dog found the chainsaw. ❜       ❛ this is not going to end well. ❜       ❛ you ruined everything. ❜       ❛ you're one of them? ❜       ❛ and here i thought you'd be difficult to catch. ❜       ❛ okay, talk. i know you had something to do with this. ❜       ❛ after all you put me through, you expect me to help you just like that? ❜       ❛ what exactly are we doing? ❜       ❛ oh, good. i was hoping to add theft, endangerment, and insanity to my list of things i did today. ❜       ❛ get off my ship! ❜       ❛ don't leave me, okay? ❜       ❛ you're vile! you're foul! you're flawed! ❜       ❛ nobody gets left behind. ❜       ❛ you came back. ❜       ❛ this is my family. i found it all on my own. ❜       ❛ i was afraid you were going to say that. ❜
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zutaranation · 2 days
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Talking about The Search with some moots on twitter, got me thinking some really interesting potentials.
It’s in character that Zuko would forgive Ursa for forgetting him and want what’s best for her and intellectually understand why she did what she did, but I think emotionally, beneath the surface, he would feel deep pain at that.
Ikem and Kiyi’s existence clog up the plot. It’s too many cooks in the kitchen. Dont get me wrong, Ikem is a fine dude, he seems chill, and I love the dadko moments that come from Kiyi, but it’s too much going on directly linked to the main cast’s lives. That’s why it’ll never be addressed, which feels cheap and makes the reader feel cheated. Like Zuko has a STEPDAD now?! That should be a huge plot and discussion, but it’s not. It’s glossed over. There’s too many characters.
The whole gaang could’ve looked at Zuko, remembered what Ozai looked like, and laughed at him for thinking Ikem was his bio dad. That made no fucking sense. Sadly for Zuko, he’s the spitting image of Ozai. I could see Zuko being in denial, but Aang should’ve laughed at him tbfh.
Like Kiyi and Ikem wouldn’t come up in a gaang adult movie they’d be forgotten and that’s why they shouldn’t have existed.
Kiyi also just feels like some weird bandaid consolation prize for Zuko to toss Azula aside ??? It’s weird idk.
Like why are Ursa’s parents presumably dead? They easily could’ve been alive 💀 Ursa should’ve been vibing with them and zuko meets normal grandparents that were hidden from him for years … it feels less cluttering of a story than making up Ikem and Kiyi and then you would just presume the grandparents are old and rickety and have to hang back in Hira’a most of the time so it’s not like bugging your mind with questions and adding more unaddressed storylines!
I’m okay with the Ursa forgetting her kids plot. I do think it makes her shitty, but I’m okay with the tragedy of it and her being kinda a shitty mom.
Ikem is low key a freak for helping Ursa forget her memories then settling down with her like NOTHING HAPPENED
I wish that Ozai and Ursa once had feelings for each other and he slipped into “madness” in an “absolute power corrupts absolutely” kinda way. It’s more interesting than “he’s always an evil big bad gonna tie you to the train tracks” vibe and eliminates the need for stupid ass Ikem. I remember Bryke mentioning this once too in some old ass trivia bit or something for “Zuko Alone”.
The worst part about The Search is the glossing over the emotional scenes. What readers had wanted for years so badly was the emotional payoff of either Zuko facing his mother was dead, or actually seeing them reunite. Also— the most emotional— Ursa reacting to Zuko’s scar is entirely skipped. It sucks.
Not letting Zuko and Katara have a single conversation when Sokka and Zuko do and Aang and Zuko do is insane. Katara had so much to feel and bond and hurt over Zuko with (yes platonically in this case I’m not that in denial @ antis). It sucks so bad they cut this entirely for shipping bs hatred because BRYKE are 6 years old emotionally.
This would’ve been a much better and emotionally charged story on screen. It was really cheated by being done on a limited page comic. It needed more time, voice acting and music.
It’s implied heavily, as many of us always assumed, that Ursa was SA’d.
If zutara was canon, I think Katara would be furious at Ursa and it would be an interesting conversation and story. Maybe I’ll write that fic
Regardless of these many flaws, the story is much more in character than The Promise or Smoke & Shadow. I hate those comics so bad for making the theme let’s all kill Zuko and be nonchalant if he dies! And making it so that it’s like he never had a found family and still no one loved him and also the weird submissiveness they gave to Katara and the retconning of everything and the repetition and recycling of plots and it all is so bad… 💀😭
What thoughts do yall have? Happy to discuss 👀
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oceanwithouthermoon · 4 months
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imo everyone who insists that saikis life was perfect and he was a spoiled brat complaining about nothing are just purposefully ignoring and misinterpreting the whole manga simply because they like other characters better and want to make up scenarios to make their fav seem like a precious little victim in every situation
its hard to explain but i see it happen a lot with specifically people who have dedicated accounts for other characters and constantly misattribute every issue to "saikis such a baby, my character has it way worse!" "saiki hurt my babys feelings once so i hate him!" "saikis such a spoiled brat, my baby has a way shittier life and never complains about it!" "saiki hurt my poor precious fav once so hes an abusive monster!"
and said "shittier life" that they "never complain" about is either the persons headcanons (literally made up) or... the character DOES complain about it and the person takes those words at FACE VALUE but ignores everything else, including things that actually HAPPEN right in front of our eyes
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beldaroot · 1 year
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dagda voicing the absurdity of how a hat can distinguish between good and bad and then coco specifically ripping the brim of coustas' hat to show how easily you can switch between a brimhat and a pointy hat... there are layers to this!
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i have never felt this uniquely insane about a character <3 i cant get a read on him
#what is his DEAL#im usually really good at pegging a character's intentions / general vibe#BUT IM GETTING SO MANY MIXED SIGNALS THAT I JUST DONT KNOW#his off the charts rizz is fucking up my geiger counter#is he evil? is he a victim? a pawn/minion? does he have good intentions? neutral ones? bad ones?#I CANT TELL#welcome home#wally darling#i mean im team 'wally is a victim just trying to help / protect his friends (maybe the 'viewer')'#and home is maybe the main villian but also not bc the villain is the abstract force of cosmic horror manifesting as the chasm under home#and it has simply infected home or possessed it#and welcome home's whole deal is cosmic horror from a puppet's perspective#and they all need to stick together like glue to get through the Ordeals and Situations#and wally's just trying to keep his friends safe and the neighborhood together and fix home#BUT if it turns out wally is straight up evil then. yknow. i support his wrongs <3#he could do literally anything and id be twirling my hair cheering and clapping#i love his big hair and gay little outfit#ever since i watched night minds video he hasnt left my brain. i think he's eating it#like i want him dead. i want him to be happy. i want to beat his little body against a wall until his stuffing comes out. i want to hug him#he is everything to me. he activates my maiming instincts but also my cherish instincts#i want him to get all the hugs from his friends#god i cant wait for this whole enchilada to kick off its gonna be a DOOZY#i trust clown's brilliant mind no matter which way they take this#absolutely fascinating stuff. i already know im in this for the long haul
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m00nlesssky · 9 months
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Part 2 of doodling my PC and their bitches
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 .♪
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transmascutena · 6 months
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thinking about how akio sees his younger self in utena and wondering if there's any fondness there. doesn't change the horror of what he does to her obviously but i do wonder
#akio and utena#m#long ramble in the tags sorry:#the thing about akio is that he's so evil bit he's also so human#he has feelings. i just don't know what they are (if anything) toward his victims#he loves anthy at the very least i'm sure of that. even if he hates her too. just like she loves and hates him. the lines are blurry.#and i just. i have to wonder whether any of that extends to utena at all. we know anthy at times feels similarly about utena and dios#(and akio by extension.) the simultanious love and resentment. so it's not too unlikely i think.#like. even though he never had anything but bad intentions in getting close to her#i'm not sure it's possible to do everything he did and feel nothing#not that he has any meaningful amount of guilt or remorse for it. i don't think that.#and i obviously don't think he “loved” her in any of the ways she might have thought he did#but did he not care at all? did he not feel any kind of fondness or sympathy or just. idk. pity? for her?#whatever the case it wasn't enough to reconsider having her killed so you know. how much does that actually matter anyway#idk. i think about it a lot. how abusers are rarely entirely indifferent toward their victims#the role he's playing in her life is so fucked up but it IS a role he's playing and i wonder how much he you know... internalizes it?#how much does he believe the illusion of family that he invites her into? because akio DOES often buy into his own illusions.#(similarly i think it's possible that akio is fond of touga too. their mentor-protégé relationship is horrible and abusive#but that doesn't make it less real. you know? maybe real is the wrong word.)#when he talks in episode 25 about wanting utena and anthy closer that's obviously so he can continue to groom her#but is there something genuine there too? i don't know.#again. it obviously does not make anything he does better or even different. but it is interesting to think about to me.#on the other side of that coin does seeing his own past youth and naivete and desire to do good that he (maybe) once had#reflected back at him through her mean anything?#is there resentment there? that she is what he couldn't be? or more likely he just thinks that idealism is stupid.#either way it's something he wants to take from her. anyway ramble over.#i talk a lot about utena's feelings toward akio (familial vs romantic love and the way the two are intertwined in fucked up ways)#but not much the other way around. probably because utena is actually a sympathetic character whose feelings the show very clearly#wants you to analyze and think about.#which is... less true for akio i think. though he's still a complex character with complex motives. he's just harder to get a grasp on.
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sukugo · 5 months
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sukuna and gojo use binding vows for sex, taking things like orgasm denials or touch deprivation steps further, where the other is contractually bound to not be able to do certain things, like touch themselves or touch the other etc etc 
one such instance being a vow where gojo has a vibrator up his ass, but he can't touch himself or remove it, until sukuna specifically, pulls it out.  
he keeps the vibe in throughout the day, with sukuna controlling it remotely, even as they both go throughout their separate days.  
gojo goes to have his usual breakfast, and meets yuuji at the dining room, they greet and sit next to each other. yuuji is, as always, energetic and excited to see him 
they make conversation, until gojo gives a jolt and starts twitching and huffing. sukuna has turned the vibrator up all the way. yuuji worries and panics and asks him what's wrong. gojo gives a breathy laugh and reassures him. he motions low and tells yuuji about the vibrator inside him, through sudden jolts and soft whimpers.  
satoru complains about it, and yuuji advices to remove it or go and take care of himself.  
except gojo states that he can’t and yuuji puzzles.  
"it's... a pact—mmh!" 
"a pact???" yuuji's voice rises in volume, but he visibly calms, shoulders dropping into a fond sigh. "sensei, you really are..." that's all he can manage to say. reprimand is useless. gojo likes it, yuuji is well aware, he is enjoying every second of this, even as he complains.  
gojo gives a few odd jolts, undoubtedly an odd pattern of intensity from the vibe, yuuji can guess. sudden irregular ups and downs that are not taken well by the man.  
satoru clicks his tongue. "what is that guy doing?" he actually looks irritated for a moment—a look yuuji doesn’t get to see often—until it’s broken with a sigh and his pleased, calm demeanor returns, mimicking the soft waves of pleasure across his thighs. 
still, yuuji can see his hands crumpled at his sides, undoubtedly wishing to use them.  
that's when satoru perks flares up all of a sudden.  
"actually, yuuji,” he turns to look at him, grinning. “you can help me" he opens his legs and lifts the edges of his kimono, his dick peeking out the fabric. yuuji gulps at the sight. satoru motions to it, giving yuuji a wordless look. yuuji hesitates for a moment, but complies, taking his hand to the cock, and starts stroking. 
satoru crumbles under the touch, immediately breathing out his nose and muffling moans. he leans into yuuji, wrapping an arm around his shoulders, fingers clasped in yuuji's kimono, nuzzling into his hair and whining in his ear.  
satoru's sounds fluctuate in pitch and volume, making it known when his vibe's gotten stronger. yuuji keeps his pace and satoru spills in his hand. he twitches and sighs, soft breaths against yuuji's flushed ear. 
yuuji stares at the cum in his hand.  
"you can wipe it on me,” satoru tells him with a breath that's calmed much too fast. “my clothes are already soiled anyways". and yuuji feels bad for it, but he obeys nonetheless.  
satoru takes a hand to yuuji's chin and turns his face to him and gives him a kiss. short and sweet.  
"as a reward." he smiles at yuuji. the boy surprises but takes it happily, cheeks warm and eyes softened, albeit a bit timidly. a tinge of disappointment colors the edges of his face. 
"you want more?" satoru brings his face to yuuji's again. the vibrations have reached a slight plateau, so his voice is steadier.  
yuuji’s face widens a bit, but he nervously chuckles, pulling back from gojo's face. "no, it's alright," he lies. "i don't want sukuna to kill me" 
but satoru’s already pulling into him, breathing into his lips. "i won't let him <3"
"that's...actually reassuring......" yuuji’s eyes flutter shut as satoru's lips meet his again.  
and with that, they're kissing and slowly the vibrations and gojo’s twitching start again. satoru moves atop yuuji's lap to straddle him, and while they kiss, yuuji takes his hand between them and jerks him off again. satoru moans and gasps into his mouth, each jolt mirroring the pulses against his prostate.  
they separate for gojo to bury his face in yuuji's shoulders, arms hugging his neck. he humps into yuuji's hand until he comes against him again. 
he pants and huffs atop the boy, catching his breath. yuuji's gentle arms hold him, fingers rubbing slow circles at his back.  
satoru's breathing calms against yuuji’s neck. 
"yuuji, u're such a good boy."  
yuuji's heart and dick swell. 
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caduschka · 9 months
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Still obsessed over the implications of Cronus with no memories being a fundamentally good and helpful person.
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todayisafridaynight · 4 months
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sometimes i get nishiki i really do
#snap chats#like from an outsider perspective it is utterly hilarious watching everything go wrong for him#BUT GIRL NOT ME STOP HAVING THIGNS GO WRONG FOR MEEEEEE WHAT IS ALL THIS#this month its actually one thing after another if i start wearing white everyone needs to be concerned#you guys remember my bullshit roommates yeah well TLDR im getting fined for their messes im going to SCREAM#I HATE IT HEERRRREEE I KNOW IM EVIL BUT CMON#literally had such a silly night last night and now everything sucks again is this life is this what life is#its not its not what life is im just hearing my mom bitching in the other room and im letting her vibes ruin mine#everything going to be ok this is just a hiccup .... a small pinprick in the tapestry of life ....#i am incredibly annoyed though cause this is one of those situations where youve done nothing wrong but youre being shot for it#its just unfair but whatever we ball ..... im putting the hair gel away guys im not slicking my hair back just yet ....#i got a new friend last night so maybe ill just hang with them later and ill remember life is beautiful ..#heh ... jk ... i can remind myself life is beautiful right now ... im gonna go eat some tiramisu ...#jesus christ i really do love italian food what the fuck. pasta / calamari / tiramisu#i dont think calamari is italian but i got it from an italian place w/e we get the picture#its not my fault that italy has good food ... i would just never go there .....#ok bye ima go eat and drink water now. water will remind me how beautiful life is ...
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the-acid-pear · 4 months
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Dave and Steven's relationship is so fucking mental literally THE toxicest of yaois 💥
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eri-pl · 8 days
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Silm reread 7: the Darkening of Valinor
So Melkor loses his shapeshifting "soon after" he runs away from Valinor (hiding from Tulkas and Orome), but when exactly? I suppose when he empowered Ungoliant. Because later he doesn't disembody or go in spirit form again.
Yes, he takes his big bad form to talk with her— and so he stays. Forever, says the book.
Ungoliant is afraid of Aman and of the Valar. :D
Melkor promises her a lot, with no intent to keep it. I feel like this may have something to do with him being so much nerfed after the situation, unable to take his power back from her (if it would be possible anyway) and almost eaten.
The Valar do like to take CoI-like forms and eat and drink (and celebrate in general I suppose). It is canon.
Feanáro is ordered to come to the party. Huh. why? who thought they had the authority to do it? the book doesn't say, so maybe it was Ingwë, this would make sense and I see why he would think it was a good idea.
Finwë is still upset, and as long as Fefe is banished, he does not want to meet his people. So again, Fingolfin doesn't feel very usurpy to me here.
…and despite being named "Wise", he overtalks Feanáro too. :( This time it doesn't result in Fefe getting upset, but in a badly worded promise.
Ungoliant eats the trees, gets so big and ugly that even Melkor is terrified of her.
Darkness mentioned again!!!
(googling the english text of this part)
The Light failed; but the Darkness that followed was more than loss of light. In that hour was made a Darkness that seemed not lack but a thing with being of its own: for it was indeed made by malice out of Light, and it had power to pierce the eye, and to enter heart and mind, and strangle the very will.
Oh. Darkness that is a thing. No, It *seems* to be a thing. (see: Theodicy and all that.)
I'll have to make a mass analysis of all the capital D Darknesses and how to connect them all (bind? no, we're not gonna do the bindy-bindy) to one concept. But I feel like they should be all facets of one thing concept.
Another thing (a thought for @dfwbwfbbwfbwf especially, I think): It's not "if". It's whenever their deeds started failing too much, Darkness fell upon them and entered heart and mind, and strangled the very will.
I don't think I'll subscribe to this HC, not fully, it makes things too easy, their hand was forced and I don't like their hand being forced.
But partially? This I will subscribe to. They did call upon something, something that seemed to be true, something that seemed to have the power to compel them. I think this reading is very close to Tolkien's intent, because it stinks of "this is how evil works".
Am I portraying Ungoliant as more evil than Melkor?
I think that at least in some aspect I am. Because she feels like something that is not entirely, well, that not entirely *is*. I don't know how to explain it better. And he was a Vala.
Can you stop being? Can you turn from a being to a non-being? I don't think so… I do not subscribe to the "Ungoliant was an uMaia" theory. I don't subscribe to any theory of "Ungoliant was [something that objectively exists]".
Ungoliant as Melkor's (self-inflicted but still real) trauma given a illusion of form by his power? Mmm. I like this one. I don't think it will be popular, but I do like it. (Or: his hatered, his jealousy, something like that, if you prefer. I don't think those are far apart from one another in this case.)
(Why is it easier to me when something evil-evil is not really real? Is it philosophy or my personality issues? Good question. I think there is some philosophy there too.)
Tulkas gets paralyzed by the spider-induced Darkness and Orome gets a "silence" spell on him. So, not only Melkor is defeated by a spider, he's just the most defeated.
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lil-oreo-crumbles · 4 months
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The more I develop the magic system and magic lore for the Septarsis Dragonfly AU, the more Glossaryck is shaping up to be more and more actively villainous and explicitly antagonistic.
It’s kind of fascinating.
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discjude · 4 months
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Yeah this is about right (as always my thoughts are in the tags so there's actually kei content there lmao)
#Hester I adore you they could never make me hate you. Seriously the first chapter in 6 (bad candy) is like my favourite opener#Kei they could NEVER EVER make me hate you. did nothing wrong ever. rhian when I CATCH you#its so funny how my two favourite characters just like. hate each other. like japeth literally kills him#sad cause they're so SIMILAR. theyre both victims of Dog Metaphor its so sad that kei does Not like japeth in the slightest#personally if they had a good long discussion about their emotions at like 3am they could've probably stopped TCY from happening#but alas. Aric. somehow its all his fault again. why do I have an aricposting tag but not a keiposting one.#Hester easily has the best overall characterisation arc I love love love the way soman writes her#I remember when I read 6 for the first time#before japeth insanity happened#I used to anticipate her chapters over like everyone else's. Hester the 1 lesbian in the series you are deeply loved#I could write whole essays about japeth and kei's characterisation it is so sad that soman forgets kei exists#like he's meant to be rhian's eagle. that's his job. that's what he's spent a Long Time anticipating becoming#but rhian refuses to acknowledge it. instead he calls Japeth his eagle in book 4's ending#He eventually falls in love with Sophie#he only ever cares about the crown#how he GETS to the crown#and bringing his mother back. he lies more than japeth#and never once does he get to be the eagle. There's only three spaces - lion/eagle/snake - and he doesn't get to be any of them#dont even get me started on how he dies. surrounded by white swans. being purely good#god rhian II try not to fuck EVERYTHING over challenge. and also Aric. its all arics fault as well#keiposting#japethposting#actually not really jposting. didn't do it that much#sge#tsfgae#school for good and evil#the school for good and evil#sfgae#the school of good and evil#as much as I adore Hester I dont think I will talk about her much in detail ever so no hesterposting yet
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requiemforthestars · 3 months
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Being back in the Dragon Age fandom has awakened something long asleep within me, which is a seething deep, feral hatred and disgust for Cullen and dismay at the way everyone in the fandom is head over heels for him. Literally it's as fresh as it was on the first day. Truly, things you feel at 15 years old do not wane.
#dragon age#i just... there are other let's say problematic white men who are problematic characters#aka anders and solas lol#that the fandom has been and is obsessed with and they coddle them like uwu my tortured boy can do no wrong#and like while that is sometimes a bit annoying#and alienating when you keep finding people who seem to believe the one correct way to play the game is to romance X character#bc all the content is fucking about them!! ugh it seems like other romances do not exist#but at least then i can tolerate it bc like#i enjoy anders and solas as characters#i get them they're flawed and can be downright horrible at times (I don't mean anders blowing up the chantry btw i mean how fucking cruel#he is to others in game)#but i get it#but not with that man!!#they only kept him in da2 and dai because idiots romantized the shit out of a very fucked up situation in the mage origin#then he became even more horrible in da2!!#and THEN in dai they just whitewash him and instead of properly redeeming him they just ignore everything bad he ever did#and that's when they add the romance option#a romance option that is kind of a joke seeing as he's still hung up on female amell/surana from like ten years ago#he even asks a romance leliana about her and will say shit like maybe me and hof would have had a chance like hello???#also his type is just... amell/surana copies he is a racist piece of shit who only likes human and elf women like hello???#and the straight girls just ate it the fuck up because there's nothing more they love than the fantasy that they can redeem an evil man#but like you're romanticizing the hell out of a prison guard/inmate situation like get help
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faaun · 1 month
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ok let's catch up quickly
#so i went on a few dates w this guy. long hair beautiful face kinda looked like a girl (good) said yes ma'am when i told him to do smth#(also good) film student great at photography including candids. made a sheath of leather for a sword pin i have . et cetera.#he asked to cuddle and i was like iggg and then i felt Nothing and i was like ohhh yh ok ok yep lesbian#like he meets almost all my criteria but. yeahhh no . also at the end of that date he had some weird takes. anyway broke up w him and told#him actually im p sure im a lesbian (again) and he was like yk thats the second time this has happened to me this week but its ok bc ive#fallen for this girl from berlin. and then we cooked together. anyway . met a beautiful butch lowk in love w her. weve been on (1) date.#have two exams in a few days havent studied enough going to like end it all basically. my research partner kicked me off our research#(expected(it was always skinda sketchy)) which was devastating + it happened in a lidl 15 hours into a journey from bordeaux#to go back to the UK. my friends were kinda busy paying for baguettes but also they heard this whole exchange and are kinda mad at him#my friend of 10+ years is coming over in a few days. my evil ex situationship person that i decided to stay friends w because i kept#insisting they are a good friend and not evil and also extremely beautiful? turns out shockingly enough they were evil. tried to fix them#and then i realised due to their entire friendship group being ppl like me (Every Single One of their friends are ppl they met on dating#apps then led on then dumped and proposed staying friends w) and are collectively extremely attracted to them and not over them they#keep validating the most diabolical shit they say/do to hace a chance w them. they broke up w their ex and the way they keep leading#this poor girl on and making her heartbeeak worse and saying that they want more power over her and want her to beg for them back etc...MY#JAW HAD DROPPED esp bc i didnt even know the ex was in the picture BECAUSE ME AND ONE OF OUR FRIENDS (that they also dated) HAD JUSR SLEPT#NAKED TOGETHER IN THEIR BED W THEM. GIRL. anyway that is the least of the diabolical stuff they said but no we are moving onnn#this was b4 the beautiful butch btw. anyways . i have a mitski concert tmrw i think?? idek anymore#i used to have a crush on this guy very briefly and then it disappeared and then i realised if he fundementally changed everything abt#himself then maybe id like him but ofc i didnt tell him that but i still think abt it sometimes but anyway thats irrelevant now bc 99% sure#even if he did id still not find him attractive (lesbianism). please recommend good overnight moisturisers btw i have super dry skin#right. the friend of 10 yrs. we had a hard convo abt why she essentially bullied me in year 8 and it made me highly bitter but i also love#her and ik things are diff now its been like . Many Years . and shes going to stay a while I HAVE TWO EXAMS I DONT HAVE TIME but i love her#its fine. i think i might just switch into medicine and do the whole become a neurosurgeon thing (which was my plan B) bc plan A is looking#kinda impossible rn. I WANNA TALK MORE ABT WHAT THE EX SITUATIONSHIP PERSON SAID but i wont bc i dont wanna be too mean but also . MY GOD#i had a conversation w a philosopher friend about whether i have a moral responsibility to try to fix them bc unleashing this on society#feels wrong and he said 'probably but...run' so yeah im not talking to them atm. second date w beautiful butch on monday btw IDK WHAT TO#WEAR. she said she likes fems. im just gonna wear the shortest ralph lauren skirt i have w the cute leg warmers and hope 4 the best#its 1:15 AM im abt to drink coffee and start studying bc what the FUCK man. also almost finished watching the boys its very good#one of my best friends is struggling rn it is breaking my heart i want to take the burden from her i miss her very much
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