#everyone's favorite Cardassian

[bagheerita]

When Odo calls Quark "the most devious Ferengi" and Quark calls Odo an "honorable man" and both of them do not consider those to be compliments. 😂

[azrael08]

I have my own personal headcanon that in the star trek universe Human musicals are EXTREMELY popular amongst the stars and across all galaxy's. Cause sure, other aliens have singing and dancing and music of all sorts but everyone quickly agrees that there is nothing like a human musical. It baffles a few Ferengi's ears when hoo-mans sing in such a high frequency for such a long time that shouldn't even be possible with their lung size! Vulcan's can appreciate the synchrony of their dancing and consider it a very pleasing experience (Their incredibly impressed by it and it becomes a frequent topic of conversation). Cardassian's admire the way the characters sing/talk to the audience and reveal what their feeling but not to the other characters, it's fun to watch secrets unfold or explode to someone's face as chaotic antics happen all around them (Their favorites tend to be Stephan Sondheim musicals). Surprisingly, even Klingons aren't immune to the talent of human musical theatre, on any given night you'll see a large group of Klingons sitting around a table ready for an opera show and tales from soprano's receiving numerous thanks and glory be's! from burly Klingons after a show.

[the-data-files]

I love your baby Cardassian! Do they name the kid? How does Garak feel about a Cardassian baby being raised so far from Cardassia?

everyone loves the baby lizard until he starts biting ankles…

jokes aside, I’m glad you like the little guy! :’) His name is Said, named after Julian’s favorite uncle. Naming a child after a family member is quite common on Cardassia, so it’s a perfect fit!

Now to the matter of Garak and the baby. Since the Cardassian egg landed on DS9 by pure chance (Quark's illegal smuggling) and began to hatch immediately, there was no real alternative but for Garak and Julian to become fathers, so to speak. Garak himself, however, has serious doubts as to whether this is all a good idea. It's an inner tug-of-war for him, because the baby is now far away from Cardassia and a competent foster mother - at such a formative phase of his young life! - but at the same time... it's a feeling of being close to home again when little Said climbs on top of him. It reminds him of the days of his youth, when his own mother held him. It's a feeling of warmth that he hasn't been able to feel for a very long time.

Nevertheless, he struggles to decide whether he deserves it after everything he has done in his life.

(Julian is too overwhelmed by being a father to even think about stuff like that)

[bijoumikhawal]

Misquotes

(read on AO3)

"Doctor?" Garak mumbled, still half asleep. Julian was sitting on the edge of the bed, and the shifting weight had woken him.

Julian reached behind him, patting Garak’s hand where it curled on the pillow. "I have to go in early, remember?"

"Mm. No I don't." Garak rose on his elbow. "And as you know-"

Julian sighed, not really all that annoyed- not with Garak anyway. "Cardassians don't forget. I'm sorry, it must've slipped my mind."

"What are you going in for?"

Julian groaned. "Basically my least favorite duty in Starfleet- babysitting some ambassadors. We're trying to convince them to sway more aid from the Federation our way. They'll be here in a few hours, so we're trying to get things tidy."

"Yes, yes, I remember that. The last bit doesn't sound like an activity particularly in need of a skilled surgeon." Garak knew they were coming today, and that Julian would need to give an aggressively simplified lecture about how his plans had gone since arriving on Cardassia, his future plans, trouble he anticipated, and so on. On top of that, he and the hospital staff would have to charm them. Garak had helped him write the lecture and run through things to mention casually.

He looped his arm around Julian's waist. As far as he was concerned, Julian was as prepared as he could be.

"Garak-"

"Who else is working on preparations?"

"Everyone." Julian tried to wiggle away, but Garak pulled him back.

"Well, since you're doing the heavy lifting once they're actually here, I doubt the hospital would begrudge you an hour or two at home."

Julian grabbed Garak’s forearm-

"Your stature resembles the palm. Methinks I'll climb the palm, I'll grasp it's branches. The scent of your vulva like quinces, flowing smoothly, stirring sleepers lips."

Julian's shoulders rose, betraying that he'd been rattled. "You skipped three lines."

"Two of those lines don't apply to you." Garak twisted the hem of Julian's shirt between his fingers. "Besides, haven't you ardently defended such bastardizations to me before?"

Julian wiggled where he sat, not really trying to get away. Garak could smell that the reason was one he was far more amenable to. He never had actually seen a quince before, so he hardly knew if it directly compared to the scent of Julian's arousal. He doubted it.

If he was wrong...

"A bundle of myrrh is my love to me; between my breasts, all night he lodges." Garak’s hands wandered, slipping under Julian's clothes as he thought. Light caresses only, dragging his callouses over tender, velvety flesh. Tracing the grain of body hair, of bones and muscles. "I grasped and would not loose him, till I brought him to my mother's house. You ravish my mind with one of your eyes. Let me enter my love's garden; let me eat its delectable fruits."

Julian twisted around, suddenly on Garak and pinning him. "His lips lotuses, dripping liquid myrrh. His arms rods of silver, studded with gems-" one of his hands slipped under Garak’s shirt now, fingers tracing the ink rubbed scars over the swell of Garak’s stomach. "-his loins smoothest ivory, encrusted with sapphires."

"Not dripping myrrh yet." Garak allowed himself to purr, more fully than any human could. He watched the heat flare in Julian's eyes as the rumble filled the room.

"You're a horrible influence." Julian declared, before kissing him.

[fauvester]

If it’s not too much to ask…could we get a garashir grand babbe roll call

GARASHIR GRAND BABBEES!

NO GENETIC RELATION TO EITHER OF THEM. BUT THEY'RE GARAK-BASHIRS IN THEIR HEARTS!

Lim and his wife have like.. 5 or 6 kids...... on purpose........ there are many family running jokes about it with varying levels of crudeness. They just want a big family... If everyone was like them the planet would regain its prewar population in a few scant generations. Besides, Lim is a stay-at-home dad and house manager, so there's someone to wrangle them all full-time.

Jocasta eventually gets married at the spinsterish age of 30 and has a reasonable amount of children. There's such a dearth of young Cardassian men after the war that nobody thought it was too unusual that she took that long, but still, societal expectations and whatnot. Garak is heartbroken when she moves out (last one to leave the nest.) He visits a lot especially after he retires.

Idk if Idan has kids! Probably eventually. He's a student though, he's got too much to do right now.

But he is a favorite uncle!

Also idk if Iskra and Rulada have kids haha I don't know if they're the 2.5 WPF type... but very funny to imagine their Klingon/Cardassian hybrid. WHAT kind of chaotic mommy energy is Iskra going to bring to this endeavor

[k-ru-h]

i think ds9 fans should be legally obligated to read ASIT before they talk about garak. its so weird to me that so many fans characterize him by the words he literally says when thats like, the thing the show outright tells you not to do. people will write him as depraved or cruel or a mindless caricature of a patriot. people will also forget cardassia is literally structured like a cult. it follows extremely strict rules detailing everything about ones life, and breaking those rules results in severe punishment or even death. it worships a higher idea and everyone must set aside everything else for full submission to it. your means are always justified if its for the state. and there are cardassians who speak out and try to dismantle this! but due to the way cardassia is structured (with people not being allowed to choose their jobs) its not high ranking officials or agents its jobs cardassia doesnt value and thus doesnt keep a chokehold on. garak didnt choose to become a member of the order he was forced to. he isnt like dukat, hedonistic and delusiouned. hes a little kid beaten up bloody on a daily basis because he made a slight mistake. hes a little kid hiding the pet he named after his mom because if anybody finds it theyll kill it. hes a little kid who has to fight to prove himself as worthy because hes seen as worthless due to his heritage. hes a little kid standing in the hot dessert sun for hours until he literally starts hallucinating to show to his peers that he is good enough. when hes pretty much forced into therapy he doesnt understand that what happened to him is wrong despite literally having panic attacks due to traumatic memories from his childhood (post traumatic stress disorder yk). he had to abuse substances to stand living because it was unimaginable to him to ask for very acessible accomodations. his love for cardassia isnt the shallow bullshit our conservatives peddle. his father (tain never was one) was a pagan following the belief of indigenous cardassians. he had the chance to live a life of comfort but he gave it all up to choke on dust and smoke and drag bodies out of rubble with no food or water or shelter. he chose to help his people and his land even though it meant giving up everything. he isn't hedonistic or cruel hes a cult survivor healing and redefining his entire worldview. julian isnt a silly little guy with a spy fetish he sees garak for who he is. dont do my favorite middle aged lizard like that

[fast-moon]

DS9 Season 3 Thoughts

On to Season 3! Last time, the crew made contact with members of the Dominion who told them to stay off their lawn in the Gamma Quadrant. Will Sisko comply?

Probably not, so here we go.

1-2. The Search: Sisko gets a new ship to play with that's better than those wimpy runabouts. All simulations show them losing if the Dominion attacks them, so Sisko figures they can't fare any worse if he just takes the entire senior staff with him to go face the Dominion on their own turf. They all promptly get captured, while Odo has some slime time with his own people, only to discover that they're the Dominion's founders.

3. The House of Quark: Quark kills a guy, is sentenced to marriage.

4. Equilibrium: Dax gets a song stuck in her head, but unfortunately the Shazam servers in the future take a week to return a result. Also, when did they get the Defiant back? Two episodes ago it was trashed and adrift in the Gamma Quadrant. Did the Dominion really let them go back to get it?

5. Second Skin: Kira gets gaslit like a pilot light, ends up with a Car-dad-ssian.

6. The Abandoned: Odo adopts a baby Jem'Hadar, who quickly becomes a violent, angsty teenage Jem'Hadar with an enzyme addiction who runs off to join a gang. Also, is the series trying to set up an Odo/Kira relationship? Almost every episode this season has given them a "moment", and now she's bringing him flowers. Like, it's cute, but I'm still all for Ace Odo and the ability for a female and male-identifying character to have a platonic friendship (I don't count Sisko/Dax because Sisko has made clear that Dax being Curzon is all that's keeping him from hitting on her).

7. Civil Defense: O'Brien decides he wants to try out that "killing everyone by accidentally tripping a hidden deadly security protocol" bit from "Armageddon Game" for real. Gul Dukat tries to gloat, but ends up getting stuck there with them. We still cool, guys?

8. Meridian: An extremely creepy guy pursues Kira in order to make the moderately creepy guy pursuing Dax come across as less creepy by comparison.

9. Defiant: Holy crap, it's Riker! But not that Riker, the cheap transporter accident knockoff Riker from TNG. He's still got a complex about that and thinks stealing the Defiant and blowing up some Cardassians will make everything better.

10. Fascination: This season's bout of crazypox breaks out around the station, this time making everyone fall madly in love with each other. Odo is once again immune, but they seem to be setting up a love triangle between Odo, Kira, and Bareil, which is a damn shame because love triangle stories tend to be terrible and make me hate every character involved, which is extra sucky because Odo and Kira are my two favorites (just not together).

11-12. Past Tense: Sisko, Bashir, and Dax accidentally get transported to... (checks calendar) ... three weeks ago, and are forced to participate in a homeless riot in order to maintain the timeline. Unfortunately, someone had already messed up the timeline, which resulted in there being bulky CRT monitor computers, giant bricks of flip-phones, and shotguns being the terrorist weapon of choice in 2024 (though, to be fair, if they can just keep that last change and stop the proliferation of military-grade semi-automatic rifles to civilians, that would be great).

13. Life Support: Winn wanted to be Kai for the perks, not the responsibility, and literally works a mortally wounded Bareil to death in order to get a peace treaty she can take credit for. Otherwise a fairly poignant episode about when to stop treatment and just let someone go.

14. Heart of Stone: After the death of the hypotenuse of their love triangle last episode, Odo and Kira confess their feelings for each other. But, of course, since Odo is never allowed to have nice things, Kira turns out to be a Changeling who's just here to troll him. #JusticeForOdo.

15. Destiny: Goddamn I hate "prophecy" stories that end with, "Well, if you redefine the meaning of literally every word in that word salad, it ends up vaguely resembling what happened, therefore there must be something to it." No, it was not as the prophecy foretold. Shit just happens and you just twist your vague predictions to accommodate it and then give yourself a pat on the back and demand people take you seriously. Go away.

16. Prophet Motive: The wormhole entities turn the Grand Nagus into a communist, so Quark threatens to annoy them for eternity unless they turn him back.

17. Visionary: O'Brien starts jumping through time, and they figure out every component of his time-skips to the point they can trigger them at will and see the future. And then will likely never utilize this knowledge again. Though the episode really should have ended on O'Brien going to bed, yet another O'Brien popping up, and him just lamenting, "Oh god, NOW what?"

18. Distant Voices: Deep Space Nine presents Inside Out, starring Bashir as Sadness, Dax as Joy, O'Brien as Fear, Kira as Anger, Odo as Disgust, and Garak as Bing-Bong.

19. Through the Looking Glass: Mirror!O'Brien shows up and kidnaps Sisko and takes him back to the universe where everyone is horny all the time. Really hope this doesn't become a recurring thing, since "multiverse" stories that are merely "it's the same people, but they're different!" are rarely compelling.

20. Improbable Cause: Bashir's boyfriend is in trouble again, and this time it's Odo to the rescue. They track down Garak's old boss who offers to let them join a war against the Dominion, and Garak... accepts?

21. The Die is Cast: The Cardassians and Romulans launch an attack on the Dominion, but it was all a trap thanks to a Changeling replacing the Romulan commander. Makes me wonder how many other characters have or will become replaced by Changelings, or if they're going to even bother trying to come up with a way to detect it, since even Odo can't tell and has been fooled twice now.

22. Explorers: A pleasantly low-stakes episode in which Sisko can somehow build an entire functioning spaceship by hand in only three weeks, the flies it to Cardassia just to prove that he can.

23. Family Business: Quark goes home to teach us that the only thing a Ferengi values more than profit is oppressing women, even if doing so causes a massive loss of profit. Also, glad they finally gave a shout-out to how many runabouts they've trashed and the need to get new ones.

24: Shakaar: Winn continues to fail upwards by becoming the presumptive next president due to having no viable opponents and the Bajoran populace getting all their information from BOX News and not realizing she's a piece of shit. So Kira nominates a popular upstart last minute to run against her and actually make her work for it, and Winn cries "coup" and "rigged election" and good fucking god this episode is too prescient. They may have gotten the state of affairs of 2024 wrong in the episode that was literally about 2024, but then accurately predicted them in pretty much all of their Winn episodes.

25. Facets: Dax asks the people closest to her to host her previous lives so that she can talk to them. Including... random girl who had two lines a couple episodes ago who's now acting like she's part of the inner circle. And Odo, who has historically been immune to psychic shenanigans. But the episode continues to exemplify that Curzon was a piece of shit, and that Dax-centric episodes still manage to have nothing to do with Dax herself, but rather her previous incarnations or Trill customs, leaving Dax with still no solid personality or motives three seasons in.

26: The Adversary: Sisko gets promoted to Captain and decides to celebrate by almost starting a war and blowing up the entire senior staff due to bad intel from a Changeling imposter.

Three seasons down, four to go! Bashir is doing a lot better this season, since his womanizing and bragging have been toned way down and he can actually focus on being a doctor. Dax is still just a cardboard cutout there to remind people of the opinions and actions of her previous incarnations, but still have no identity of her own.

And then towards the end of the season they just awkwardly brought in a couple of women simply to be love interests to our crew members who are still lacking a heterosexual partner. At least, I'm assuming what's-her-face who had two lines and hit on Bashir at the beginning of one episode and then was suddenly chummy enough with the senior staff to participate in Dax's memory roulette ritual a few episodes later is supposed to be a love interest for Bashir. Go away, random lady, he already has Garak.

The choice of crew of the Defiant also reminds me of a really, really old Star Trek joke I read as a kid about the "Kirk Maneuver", which is "Kirk knows this is the most dangerous planet in the universe so takes his entire senior staff with him when he beams down". Like, shouldn't there be a separate operations crew for the Defiant so that you don't suddenly lose your entire station leadership if something were to go wrong? But, nope, The Main Characters Do Everything.

[peachvelvets]

for that ask meme:

fandom: star trek 2

ship: kirk/spock 20 (I already know the answer but everyone else needs to hear it)

character: data 2

2) my three favorite characters and why I love them so much.

1. DATA OBVIOUSLY. He is so precious to me and I relate to him and his struggles with understanding humanity. He is such a good character and has some of the best character development in Star Trek. He deserved better than Starfleet constantly questioning his bodily autonomy, I know he would've been happier out of Starfleet. I choose to believe the future we saw in All Good Things was Data's actual ending, and that the TNG movies are not canon. He's also adorable

2. Spock for a lot of the same reasons as Data. His character development is definitely on par with Data's, and TMP is SUCH an important movie for his character development which is why I hate that it gets shit on so often. His internal struggle between his human and Vulcan sides is so compelling and interesting, I could read meta about his character all day.

3. This is so hard there's so many good ones to choose from..... But I think I have to go with Kira, even though I have issues with how blindly she follows her religion... She is so well-written and that's so rare for a female character. I love her tragic backstory and that she has such a darkness to her. Her character development is also top notch, the fact that her character arc ends with her helping the Cardassians rebel against the Dominion is just so excellent.

20) how and when they should get/should have gotten together.

OKAY so most people think that they broke up/divorced after the 5 year mission but I wholeheartedly disagree. I personally don't think there's any way Spock would be able to be in a relationship with Kirk pre-TMP, his character just wasn't there yet. He had to meld with V'ger and realize that logic alone was not the path he needed to follow to find fulfillment. What I think happened is Kirk confessed his feelings for Spock at the end of the 5 year mission, which scared Spock so much that he ran away to Gol to go through Kolinahr (which he obviously failed because he was just too gay for Kirk.) Kirk was heartbroken but had to move on. Then the events of TMP happen; the hospital scene is when they both realize how much they need each other and that is when they officially get together. They don't even need to say anything, they literally just nod at each other and know. It's a love confession. Then they elope in Space Vegas with only their closest friends present. The end!

2) how I would have chosen to change their story from canon.

I kind of already touched on this but I DEFINITELY would have loved for him to leave Starfleet. He was never treated like a real person, his bodily autonomy was constantly called into question, he was treated like property even post-MOAM, and he deserved so much better. I think the future shown in AGT was almost perfect. Out of Starfleet, living with all his cats, thriving. The only thing missing is he wasn't married to Geordi, which is the one thing I would change.

THANKS 🙏🙏🙏

[writergeekrhw]

Hey, hope you are well. I was wondering what you considered your finest contribution to the various shows you have worked on? The character/character moment/plot point/favourite line that, if someone invented a time machine and tried to go back and erase that specifically, you would end up fighting them on a rooftop in the rain to protect?

Oh man, that one is pretty much impossible to answer. I've written over 80 episodes of TV and worked on over 300, so it's hard for me to pick my favorite episodes let alone my favorite moments or lines, etc. I'm most proud of the body of work and how deep it is, but let's see if I can think of a few highlights:

TNG:

"A Fistful of Datas" - The title is really good! I'm happy I got Picard to play his flute. The Worf/Data kiss was me, though I wrote it on the lips.

DS9 (A lot of these are with Ira):

"Q-Less" - "You hit me. Picard never hit me." "I'm not Picard."

"The Wire" - "My dear Doctor, they're all true." "Even the lies?" "Especially the lies."

"Past Tense 1&2" - All of it really.

"To the Death" - The whole "Victory is life" bit and O'Brien's response

"In Purgatory's Shadow" - "Lying is a skill like any other. And if you want to maintain a level of excellence, you have to practice constantly." "You Cardassians are all alike. You talk too much." "How can I forget it? It was the only day."

"By Inferno's Light" - Dukat's big speech. "That space station you're so fond of was built by Cardassia." "Funny. I thought it was built by Bajoran slave labor." "I yield! I cannot defeat this Klingon. All I can do is kill him, and that no longer holds my interest." "Armageddon will have to wait for another day."

"Call to Arms" - The end with Sisko's baseball.

"Field of Fire" - Snipering the melon. Who the bad guy ends up being and what his motive is.

Also: "Hard Time" "For the Uniform" "Little Green Men"

ANDROMEDA:

Proud of creating my first show. I think the cast I had control over (everyone but Dylan) is pretty great.

"Under the Night" - "Oh, he's the guy who retired. Didn't you say he bought a farm?" "The farm. Bought the farm, Trance." "What's the difference?" "Torn pressure suit and a bad emergency seal." Tyr's entrance.

"An Affirming Flame" - "I don't care if we wake up when the suns have all burned out and the universe is winding down to die, as long as I'm there to watch."

"Angel Dark, Demon Bright" - Harper's big speech. "Those are my mathematics. I'll leave you to yours." I like the way time travel works in this one.

"Music of a Distant Drum" - Tyr correcting the kid's shooting grip

"Harper 2.0" - "My pain belongs to the Divine. It is like air. It is like water."

"It's Hour Come Round at Last" - "To hell with the odds. All that matters in life is that we try. Promise you'll try."

THE TWILIGHT ZONE:

I'm proud to have written a Twilight Zone even if it wasn't in the original run.

THE DEAD ZONE:

"Descent" - Triggering a JohnnyVision by having him brushed by a passing bat.

THE DRESDEN FILES:

Underrated show in my opinion. I'm proud of co-developing it. Production was rough so I'm proud I got the episodes done and the show on the air. I think the cast is really good. The moment when Harry has to get a wasp to sting him in the eye to use it as a spy drone is pretty memorable.

THE 4400:

Richard Tyler in the diner seeing how much the world has changed. Ali is so good in that scene. We knew we had lightning in a bottle with him.

THE GATES:

"Little Girl Lost" is pretty good.

ALPHAS:

I wrote a lot of Gary's off the wall lines. "Left!" "Are you sure? Heart left, Gary?" Gary puts his hand over his heart. "No, right!" "Respect the badge!" Also casting Tatiana Maslany before she blew up was a really good call.

STAR-CROSSED:

I came up with a lot of how the Atrians culture and biology worked and I think that was all cool stuff. I loved Teri's "hold my gold" moment in "And Left No Friendly Drop," which was something that Chelsea Gilligan came up with in blocking, but I'll take credit for it. Teri punching the drone in "What Storm is This That Blows So Contrary" was fun.

(Elementary later)

[fatehbaz]

Love finding ways to diplomatically communicate “fuck you :)” in professional settings when other people in positions of power utterly disregard the value of your life but you have to (at least momentarily) keep the peace.

Consuming popular media is embarrassing and all, I know, but isn’t this still “the fandom webbed site”? Why can I not find a gifset of the hilarious moment of fan-favorite Garak in DS9 season 4 episode 26 when, on the eve of impending open war, Garak meets face-to-face with the leader of an aggressive empire built on fake-smile diplomacy and militaristic expansion and rigid social hierarchies, and Garak is like: “Excuse me, madam, may I have a moment of your time?” And he asks if any of his friends survived, and she flat-out says she’s about to kill everybody everywhere: “They’re dead. You’re dead. Cardassia is dead. Your people were doomed the moment they attacked us. I believe that answers your question.”

And Andrew Robinson expertly chooses to respond with this hilarious emotional face-journey which simultaneously communicates so much: (1) Garak’s horror at what’s transpired (mass execution of his people and the personal affront that is the probable death of his father). (2) Garak’s disgust with the Dominion’s careless and casual disregard for life. (3) Garak’s righteous rage. (4) Garak’s clear familiar recognition of the cold strategic ruthlessness which has traditionally been employed by his own Cardassian government. (5) Garak’s realization that he can now “play” since he has a skill-set making him uniquely valuable and competent during times of such a conflict (assassin, espionage). And also maybe most importantly (6) Garak is now really the only person who seems to understand the dire seriousness of the whole quadrant’s/Federation’s predicament (while everyone else is still trying to seek appeasement and concessions, he now understands that there is no negotiating with these guys and this empire is going to try to kill us all, like this is going to be bad).

And he comes back with:

It was a pleasure meeting you :)

Like this is how I “smile” at work, at the bank, with a landlord, in a corporate setting:

[timberlakefan96]

My second favorite thing is how golden-age Star Trek writers used the show’s tendency to code the non-human species in…less than favorable ways against itself.

Klingons? Space Asians-as-written-by-a-19th-century-novelist. A tiny bit quaint and funny today.

Romulans? Space Soviet. Simple. Topical for the time.

Ferengi? Space…listen. Quark is great. Everyone loves Quark. And Rom! And Nog! Such well-written characters!

Cardassians! Space…huh. Hang on, I gotta puzzle this one out. Deeply held beliefs about the superiority of their state but also individualistic, colonizes other planets while subjugating the native populations, industrialists, wide use of propaganda and misinformation, starts wars between two unrelated factions for their own gain…oh, oh no…

[fabiansociety]

my favorite episodes of star trek are the ones that are basically sitcoms but with some particular alien twist, like luwaxana troi shows up and she's going through betazed menopause and is making everyone on the station horny, except for odo, who she starts aggressively flirting with

then they get trapped in an elevator and she drops the act and he turns into good and she holds him in her dress because he can't get to his bucket

or quark gets green card married to a klingon woman and solves financial crimes for her

or sisko and quark crash land and are forced to go camping on an alien planet together

i don't care about the borg, i don't care about the dominion, the klingons and cardassians and everyone else is only interesting when the cold war stays cold and things can't be resolved with guns and torpedoes

star trek is a lot of things to a lot of people, but to me it's never ever an action movie

[sshbpodcast]

Top 3 Star Trek Deep Space Nine villains

By Ames

We’re still enjoying our stay on Deep Space Nine after a great week of chilling with our favorite DS9 minor and one-off characters last week. This week, there’s a tussle at Quark’s as we’re about to go toe-to-toe with the best villains, antagonists, or general scallywags of the station-bound series. We did it before with our favorite baddies from TOS and from TNG, so who are the biggest bads this time around?

There’s a lot of competition for this one, but some of the picks are obvious because Deep Space Nine just put so much time and effort into making its characters believable, motivated, and always incredibly well developed. So see if your favorite villains match those of hosts of A Star to Steer Her By as you read on below and listen to our banter on this week’s podcast (discussion starts at 1:11:11) which features some bonus, podcast-exclusive picks from guest star James Rossi. Scroll on, my child.

[images © CBS/Paramount] 

Chris – Bring out the big guns

Kai Winn

Dukat

Garak

Chris is highlighting the heaviest hitters of all of Deep Space Nine, and for good reason! We get the most of these frequently recurring guest stars, and every time we see them, they are consistently compelling and compellingly consistent. From the deliciously acerbic religious leader who serves only herself, to the utterly deluded leader in the Cardassian ranks who is convinced he’s always in the right, to the simple tailor who is capable of some really, really diabolical stuff, these three are examples of how to write naughty characters well.

—

Caitlin – Scum of the earth… er, space

Kai Winn

Keevan

Gowron

On Caitlin’s list, we’re going to get some characters who just leave a nasty taste in your mouth, but you’ll keep coming back for seconds. These three are just slimy individuals who commit some really atrocious things and all get exactly what’s coming to them. We see the kai who takes out her irritation that the prophets don’t talk to her on an entire people, the Vorta middle manager who gleefully lets all of his troops get slaughtered as long as they saved him first, and the megalomaniacal Klingon Chancellor who started rewriting history in his favor.

—

Jake – Same face, different day

Intendant Kira

Gaia Odo

Admiral Leyton

Jake went with some characters we see a little less, though we see some of their faces pretty much every week. Let’s start off with the mirror universe equivalent of Major Kira, who may not be the best villain, per se, but she is the most entertaining to watch. We also see a slightly different take on Odo from an alternate timeline, with a slightly more believable face and much more capacity for freakin’ genocide. Finally, a familiar face from Jake’s Top Ten Worst Admirals blogpost who seems to love declaring martial law… when he’s not a Changeling, that is.

—

Ames – Be you friends or foes?

Dukat

Kilana

Third Remata’Klan

On my list are three villains whose side you can almost convince yourself to take, if it weren’t for all the constant murdering. My love for everyone’s favorite swaggering lizard man is well documented, but it’s so easy to be taken in by all that charisma, confidence, and neck. I have to share a little love for a Vorta who just seems so reasonable while she’s negotiating with you… until you realize she’s absolutely not to be trusted. And finally, my favorite Jem’Hadar who, in a different reality, we could have called friend, played by Phil Morris to boot!

— We’re putting our bat’leths and cloaked mines away for now and calling it a truce over a nice bottle of kanar. Make sure to come back here next time for one more visit to the promenade when we wrap up our spotlight series on Deep Space Nine. You should also keep following along with the last few lightyears of our journey through Voyager on SoundCloud or wherever you get your podcasts, consider us allies over on Facebook and Twitter, and stop summoning Pah-wraiths already!

[crowfootwrites]

Devotion & Diplomacy - Part IV

Ok, so this chapter is sort of filler-y, but I added an original Bolian character who I think is really fun, and just tried to utilize the space to give context and background info for our OC's job and her relationships with her friends!

We're ramping up to my favorite chapters and I'm so stoked to share them with y'all!

Tagging @deepspacedukat, @horta-in-charge, @sleepycat82, @vreenak, and @starrynightgardens if y'all are interested!

Part I | Part II | Part III | Read on AO3

Warnings: discussions about (canon) politics and negotiations with like, objectively bad dudes?; other than that, just fluffy friendship stuff | Words: ~2,765

The sleek interior of Starbase 395 never failed to amaze Emrys, although she had been there a handful of times before. With soaring glass viewports and spacious, open designs, the tranquility of space was welcomed in, lending its calm to the bustling of people inside. 

Although 395 hadn’t initially been a very lively base, its proximity to Cardassian space meant that its atmosphere had changed somewhat during the war and since the armistice. Using the base as a primary location for repairs on ships along the front lines had brought more people - more engineers, more command officers, sometimes their families as well. Even with the signing of the armistice, the station remained busy, and more Starfleet officers had been offered posts there; more exploratory research was being done on the nearby Tama star system, more exobotanists were taking interest in the unique flora and fauna of New Halana, test probes were being sent to the nearby Vaultera Nebula. 

To Emrys, it was a nice change of pace to be at a starbase. In her recent past, the only other time she was surrounded by this many people was on Cardassia which, naturally, presented a completely different atmosphere. There, she was an outsider, one who her native counterparts considered a threat to their expansion and authority. She represented, to them, everything they hated about the Federation. Which was fine, if that was the job she had been tasked with. She was following her orders. But it took a profound emotional toll to bear the brunt of that hostility for such long periods of time. 

After Emrys had located and dropped her belongings off in her temporary quarters, she made her way to the stellar cartography lab. The lab at this base was truly enormous - several small rooms full of desk terminals and spherical interfaces preceded a large, 360-degree projection room with a rotating central terminal allowing for extremely detailed mapping and examination. The first time Emrys laid eyes on the space, she almost considered switching careers. Almost.

“Em!” Catching the flash of bright blue in the corner of her vision, Emrys turned just as she was crushed into a veritable bear hug by Lieutenant Byha Safar, her favorite Bolian star mapper. Emrys and Byha had met during Emrys’ very first communications posting aboard the USS Avondale, where Byha was already working in the stellar cartography lab. The women became fast friends, and Emrys had even been to visit Byha’s home on Bolarus IX. Emrys found their personalities to be a good match – Byha’s bright, bubbly energy made her instantly likable to almost everyone and covered some of the gaps in Emrys’ own self-confidence. And Emrys had a way of calming her friend, reminding her of consequences and how to keep her cool in times of tension.

“I’ve missed you so much, By!” Emrys croaked out, her chest constricted with the force of Byha’s arms wrapped around her. 

Finally, Byha relented, releasing Emrys, but placing steadying hands on her shoulders and carefully sizing up her human friend through narrowed eyes.

“You look tired,” she offered.

“I am tired,” Emrys replied with a snort.

Much more gently this time, Byha pulled Emrys back into her embrace. “I’ve missed you too, Em.”

Pulling away again, she offered up a brilliant smile and led Emrys by the hand to her workstation. 

“I took the liberty of pulling up some of our most recent maps from the Kalandra sector so I can get an idea of what we’re working with,” she said as she plopped herself down at her console. Emrys leaned over behind her to get a view of her screen as Byha pulled up the 2-dimensional rendering of the area. 

Byha hummed thoughtfully, enlarging the area around Minos Korva and locating the closest established Cardassian border. “So, what exactly are they saying is the problem?”

Emrys sighed. Glancing around to make sure no one could overhear, she pulled another chair up beside Byha’s. “Well, during the war,” she explained, “the Cardassian Central Command attempted to annex Minos Korva, saying that it fell within Cardassian borders, that it wasn’t in Federation space, even though it’s been considered a Federation territory for almost 30 years now.”

Byha ran a worried hand over her bare scalp. “Then what happened?”

“They didn’t manage to annex it – the problem is that now that we’re in negotiations, they’re claiming our maps are in error because of a miscalibration and that, if that miscalibration were to be corrected, Minos Korva would belong to Cardassia. Needless to say, they haven’t exactly been forthcoming about their plans for the system, but given what’s happening on Bajor, I think we can probably guess,” she added bitterly.

“They’re just… pushing really hard on this one,” Emrys lamented. “Figuring out borders has honestly been the most high-intensity part of these negotiations so far. Nobody wants to give up anything they think is theirs.” She rolled her eyes.

Byha laughed somewhat grimly. “Sounds about right,” she added. She took a deep breath. “So, it sounds like what we need to do is prove that a miscalculation did not occur, thereby confirming that Minos Korva’s current location is mapped correctly and does not exist in Cardassia’s existing borders.”

Emrys nodded decisively. 

“Alright, no problem,” Byha added cheerfully. “Well… I hope,” she added more seriously. “I’ll have to search for the records on that particular cartography survey and find all the specs on the reference beacons used. Hopefully that should prove everything was running correctly at the time the survey was completed.”

Emrys grinned. “You’re an absolute lifesaver, By. I will buy you dinner every night that I’m here if you can find that information.”

Byha cackled. “Oh, well, with free dinners on the line, I will work harder than I’ve ever worked on anything before.” 

— — —

Emrys kept her promise to Byha that evening, the women tucking eagerly into plates of clamda rice pilaf, Terran beef, and I’danian spice pudding. Deanna and Will had passed by their table shortly after their own arrival, and Byha had jumped up immediately to hug them both, insisting that they join her and Emrys for dinner. 

It was the most fun Emrys had had in a very long time, her cheeks beginning to ache from laughter. It was the closest she’d come to feeling surrounded by family since Silas’ passing and Emrys allowed the warmth expanding in her chest to settle for a while, hoping she could easily recall the feeling once she’d returned to Cardassia.

“So, Byha,” Deanna began slyly, her eyes flickering over to Emrys for a moment. “Have you heard about Emrys’ new beau?”

Emrys choked on her Trixian bubble juice, coughing powerfully as her face turned crimson. 

“What?!” Byha squealed over Emrys’ coughing, her eyes wide, darting between Emrys and Deanna.

Even Will looked intrigued, his eyebrow quirked as he gazed at Deanna.

“A beau?” Emrys croaked. “Really?”

“I need all of the details,” Byha continued, propping her chin on her hand, eagerly awaiting an explanation from anyone at the table.

“Ugh,” Emrys grumbled, finally clearing her throat. “I’m not sure that choice of words is appropriate,” her eyes slid to Deanna’s to shoot her a glare, “considering that I’ll probably never see him again.”

Byha’s lips immediately tugged into a frown, her eyebrows knitting in concern. “Aw, really?”

“No,” Deanna said, at the same time Emrys contradicted her with her own, “yes.”

Rolling her eyes, Emrys sunk lower in her chair, wrapping an arm around herself. She knew Byha would never let it go, so she braced herself to get it over with.

“Did you hear about the Phoenix incident last week?” she asked with a sigh.

Byha nodded.

“I was on the Enterprise when Captain Picard was ordered to find Maxwell. There was a small group of Cardassian soldiers who came aboard to offer passage through Cardassian space as we searched for the Phoenix. Since I’ve spent so much time dealing with Cardassians recently, he asked if I would help escort them, keep an eye on them, keep them entertained, you know….” She took another gulp of bubble juice, the carbonation blending with the gloom swirling uneasily in her stomach. 

“One of them – one of the gul’s aides – was very different than any Cardassian I’ve ever met. He was quiet and curious and introspective. And in front of a Federation member, no less… He was really sweet and really, really cute,” she added, cringing slightly at how that sounded. Like a schoolgirl with a crush.

Lost in her brief memories with Daro, she missed Deanna and Byha’s eyes meeting in shared hopefulness for their friend.

“Did anything… happen?” Byha asked with a waggle of her eyebrows.

Will snorted into his brandy and Emrys turned, unbelievably, an even deeper shade of red.

“No! Of course not!” Emrys ran tired hands down her face slowly. “He was just… I don’t know. It felt like there was something there, some kind of spark or something – ugh, that sounds so corny.” She dropped her hands dejectedly into her lap. “Plus there’s the whole element of like, ‘we were just at war with these people’ – even if, in some miraculous turn of events we got into contact and started something, I can’t imagine that it would reflect well on either of us.”

“Oooh,” Byha sighed dreamily. “Forbidden love.”

Emrys groaned and flicked Byha with some of her juice.

“We just want you to be happy,” Deanna offered. “You’ve had a rough couple of years, and I can feel how much this current posting is draining you-”

“But they’re my orders…”

“I know,” she nodded gently. “I’m just saying that I think there should be something that’s just for you, too. You’re giving up a lot for Starfleet, for the Federation, and right now it’s preventing you from living your own life outside of your job. And that’s not healthy.”

“You deserve to be happy,” Byha cut in kindly. Deanna nodded her agreement. 

“You can’t give your whole life to the job, Em,” Will added, his blue eyes meeting hers meaningfully. “It will take it, if you let it.”

Emrys nodded reluctantly, hot tears pricking at the corners of her eyes. With a great sniffle, she straightened in her chair.

“That still doesn’t change the fact that I don’t have a way to contact him, and even if I did, I have no idea when we’d ever be able to see each other again.”

“Do Cardassians have shore leave?” Byha asked curiously to no one in particular. Emrys shrugged. 

“That’s what I mean,” she grumbled. 

Deanna cleared her throat pointedly. “You’re a communications officer, Emrys. If anyone could figure out how to contact him, it would be you.”

Emrys sighed in resignation. “Maybe when I get back to Cardassia, I’ll see if I can pull some strings. I think I’m owed more than a few favors at this point.”

— — —

The next several days found Byha and Emrys poring over their respective and joint work efforts. Emrys spent much of her days drafting up a revised plan for shipping allowances. Her third day on the station, however, she received a message from Admiral Nechayev with details on new points that Emrys was to bring up at the next meeting on Cardassia. These particular points filled Emrys with dread, bubbling just beneath the surface of righteousness. She bit at her thumbnail as she read the message over and over again, trying to work out how to present the Federation’s strategic condemnation of Cardassia’s Occupation of Bajor in the most indisputable way possible. Initially, little was done about Bajor’s plight, Emrys had learned, as it was not widely known. Even Starfleet had refused to intervene. She found herself ruminating over whether or not the Cardassians would bring this up - if they would want to know why the Federation “suddenly” cared.

Emrys was, of course, personally against the forced occupation of any planet, and she’d been made well-aware of the atrocities that were being committed on Bajor by the Cardassian military. She was angry and disgusted by them. She also knew that the Cardassians were likely to fight hard against this term; that this term alone was something that could draw out the treaty process another few years if they thought it would get them a positive outcome. Especially since the Federation was now adamant that no treaty would be signed unless Cardassia withdrew from Bajor. 

The Federation’s goal in this treaty point was one Emrys agreed with. Bajor should be free. She just needed to figure out how to win that argument against Ziven and the Cardassians. She sent a carefully-worded message back to Nechayev in an effort to get something she could compromise with.

For days after that, Emrys shifted gears to the Bajoran front and began carefully researching the history of the Occupation and its impact on Cardassian trade and economy. 

Nearing the end of her stay on the station, Byha found Emrys hunched over a PADD near one of the windows in the replicator lounge.

Plopping down beside her and startling Emrys out of her trance, Byha smiled cheerfully. “I have good news! Well, it’s not good, I suppose, but it’s not bad, either. It’s just… you know, factual.”

Emrys chuckled. “Ok. What’s the news?”

“I want to show you! Come on!”

Emrys followed Byha back to the stellar cartography lab, where her friend led her straight past all the work terminals and into the projection room. It appeared that Byha already had it set up, with the star map depicting Minos Korva and its surroundings displayed in a 360-degree panorama. 

Emrys turned in a slow circle, the image of deep space and all its shimmering contents breathtaking.

With a few taps on the central panel, the image altered, red lines and colored expanses appearing on various sections of the image. Emrys’ hands landed on her hips as she turned in a circle again.

“Ok, so what am I looking at?”

“Well,” Byha sang, “I can confirm that our maps are not wrong.”

Emrys nodded thoughtfully. “Ok, I’m going to need you to prove it to me because I’m going to have to prove it to them.” 

“Of course!” Byha sat behind the control panel and zoomed in on some of the colored lines composing the map’s three dimensional overlay.

“This tan section here denotes Cardassian space, as has been defined by Federation maps. However, these borders have been the same since before the war, without dispute from them.” Byha glanced back at Emrys over her shoulder. “So you can use that point in your debate, if you need to. Based on the notes you sent me from the last treaty session, it seems that they’re now trying to say that their whole border is off by about 4.7 lightyears,” she pivoted the projection again, adding a red line that overlapped the blue Federation space sections by a rather large margin, “and that their border should be shifted that amount towards galactic center, which would be giving them huge swaths of territory all along it.” 

She shook her head slowly, zooming her projection out further, to show the extent of that change. “If we did that, they’d be able to annex everything in what you’re trying to establish as the Demilitarized Zone, large parts of the Maxia and Actium sectors, several Federation starbases, and of course, Minos Korva.”

“But!” she continued almost triumphantly. “I did some digging. The Cardassians are trying to say that these borders are incorrectly mapped because of an error caused by the reference beacons used in the mapping, right?”

Emrys nodded, Byha’s excitement managing to rub off on her just a bit. A smile pulled at her lips.

“I have triple-checked the specs on every reference beacon used during that survey, and they were all in good working condition!” She leaned back in her chair, a smug look on her face.

Emrys’ smile grew into a full-fledged grin. “You’re incredible, you know that?”

Byha nodded unabashedly. “Yeah, I know - I went ahead and sent you all the documentation you should need so you have access to it when you get back to Cardassia.”

Emrys threw her arms around her friend gratefully. Although she knew from experience that Cardassians could - and would - argue about these borders anyway, even with proof, it bolstered her confidence to have this kind of information to back up her arguments.

“How will I ever repay you?” Emrys asked drolly.

Byha sighed, but her smile remained. “Honestly? You could pay me back by giving that Cardassian guy a call?”

[bijoumikhawal]

For 🔥:

3. screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr

8. common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

3. Worst ds9 take on tumblr.... that's a hard one. You and I have been kvetching about one of my favorites (that Julian can be portrayed as "too brown"), but another one that may have been a joke and may have been serious is that "obraishir is a better ship than garashir because they're both minorities", and the very serious "Garak was never abused by Tain". And oh- "Garak only interrogated people and used techniques like forced wakefulness and solitary confinement, which isn't torture".

8. What ASIT is about and what Hebitians are in it. You know I had to mention it. Sisko being the "dad" character for the crew. Thinking That Scene in If Wishes Were Horses is funny/casting Julian as the aggressor. Dukat’s final arc being a descent into him as a literal demonic figure being bad. Applying the word genocide to the season 4 finale but not mentioning it with regard to Bajor or post canon Cardassia.

16. Julian being overly innocent/dorky. He is kind of dorky and he knows it, but he's a 27 year old man whos been engaged before, and he's a soldier. Relationship fumbling does make sense, but he has some experience and he kills people on screen. Cardassian doctors being mostly women magically meaning Cardassian medicine doesn't have common fascist issues like constructions around birth control and abortion, and adjacently the idea that Cardassians are fully chill with people being queer (the caveat being I get exploring how some ways of being queer are socially acceptable and some aren't because I do that).

[fauvester]

you mentioned julian as cardassias "favorite pet alien" in the garashir kids au, does the cardassian populace eventually like julian? does he have any friends on cardassia after living there for a while?

also, your art so GOOD :))

ah the classic 'as long as you're nonthreatening we'll love you'. and julian can be very likeable! even at his most sanctimonious. I feel like cardassians probably like more heavy-handed paternalistic medical care and he'd be well suited to provide that. imagine if your doctor was a very smart genetically engineered talking hairless cat.

I like to think he makes friends, especially from the medical field :') he's one of garak's protective extroverts. Gets along with all his coworkers. Organizes happy hours. Everyone is a little confused by his desire to spend time with them outside of work, but they like their smooth warm coworker and are willing to indulge his alien eccentricities.