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#everyone's alive and almost everyone's happy
axeeglitter · 3 days
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Uber Frat
Tom had driven this route a hundred times before. The streets near the university were alive with students barhopping, loud music booming from nearby frat houses. His Uber beeped as a new ride request came in from Delta Sigma Gamma, one of the more notorious frats, known for their cocky jocks and constant partying. He sighed, not particularly excited about the prospect of dealing with another drunk frat boy.
The rider’s name popped up on his phone: Ryan.
"Another one of these guys," Tom muttered to himself, already dreading the ride. At thirty-five, Tom was happy with his life. He was engaged to Sarah, his high school sweet heart, and they were planning their wedding. Driving Uber was just a way to save up a little extra for the wedding. He was a simple guy; routine, stability, and a future with Sarah. He had no interest in wild parties or the frat life he’d never had.
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When he pulled up to the massive Delta Sigma house, a shirtless, muscular figure stumbled out, carrying the telltale swagger of someone who had downed far too many beers. Ryan was massive, broad-shouldered, thick arms, chest bursting out of his soaked tank top. His feet dragged a little as he approached the car, and when he opened the door, the powerful stench of sweat and musk hit Tom like a truck.
Ryan collapsed into the backseat, reeking of alcohol, but worse than that, his scent was overpowering, the smell of sweat-soaked skin and dirty gym socks filling the car immediately. Tom gagged but tried to keep it under control.
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“Yo, driver!” Ryan slurred, kicking off his sneakers without a care and slapping his socked feet right between the two front seats on the arm rest “Take me to the next bar, bro.”
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“Uh, can you put your feet down?” Tom asked, his voice tight with irritation.
Ryan didn’t even glance at him, wiggling his toes lazily. “Nah, man, you’ll get used to it. Just like everyone else. This is how it is when you’re part of the brotherhood.” His voice was thick with drunken confidence, a cocky grin spreading across his face.
“Look, man, I’m just trying to do my job,” Tom said, irritation rising as the smell intensified, like sour sweat and musk combining to form something nearly tangible.
Ryan chuckled, the sound low and mocking. “You think you’re better than us, huh? Driving your Uber, going back to your little pathetic, boring life, playing it all straight and safe. You don’t even know what you’re missing, bro.”
Tom glanced in the rearview mirror, trying to keep his temper in check. “I’m just trying to get you where you need to go.”
Ryan leaned forward; his eyes gleaming. “Yeah, well, maybe where you need to go isn’t where you think. You ever think about that? You’re just waiting for someone to show you the way.”
Before Tom could respond, Ryan started to laugh under his breath, a weird sound emitting from his mouth. The air in the car shifted, growing thick, almost suffocating. Tom felt his heart rate spike as a sudden, intense heat spread through his body, followed by a strange tingling sensation.
“What the hell are you doing?” Tom snapped, panic rising as his muscles began to twitch uncontrollably.
Ryan smirked. “Don’t worry, bro. You’re about to find out what it’s like to really live.”
Tom’s breath caught in his throat as the tingling spread, intensifying into sharp, searing pain. His body felt like it was on fire from the inside out, muscles spasming and bones popping. His hands, gripping the steering wheel tightly, began to thicken before his very eyes. His fingers lengthened, widening as his palms became rough and calloused, swelling with new, brute strength.
“No… what’s happening?” Tom gasped, watching in horror as his forearms bulged, veins popping out against his skin. His arms were growing, muscle piling onto muscle, forcing his sleeves to stretch tight against his biceps and forearms.
Ryan leaned back, grinning. “It’s starting, bro. You’re just getting jacked like the rest of us.”
Tom could feel his chest expanding, pecs pushing out as his once-slender frame grew broader and wider. His shirt strained against the sheer bulk of his chest, the fabric barely able to contain the growing mass of muscle beneath it. His ribs cracked, reforming to accommodate the new size of his upper body.
With a groan of agony, Tom’s spine elongated, forcing him to hunch forward in the seat as his height shot up. His back rippled with new muscle, his shoulders broadening into massive slabs of strength. The pain was unbearable, every bone in his body felt like it was being stretched and reshaped.
“Stop! Please, stop!” Tom begged, his voice shaky with fear, but his words only made Ryan grin wider.
“Why stop, bro? You’re looking real good now. Imagine how much the boys are gonna love you.” Said Ryan as he wiggled his toes.
Tom’s legs began to throb, his thighs thickening, swelling with raw power. His jeans ripped at the seams, unable to contain the bulging muscles that pushed outward. His calves, once average, now bulged with definition, covered in a layer of thick, coarse hair that sprouted up his legs, across his thighs, and up to his groin.
He felt a strange tug in his groin, and his breath hitched as his penis twitched, growing harder, swelling in size. His balls, once normal-sized, ballooned larger, filling with an almost unbearable pressure. The musk of Ryan’s feet, the overpowering scent that had once repelled him, now seemed intoxicating, and Tom could feel a growing hunger building in his chest.
“No… this isn’t me. This can’t be happening,” Tom whispered, his voice deepening, taking on a more masculine, gruff tone.
Ryan wiggled his toes again and crossed his feet, brushing Tom’s forearm along the way “Oh, it’s happening, bro. You’re gonna be just like the rest of us. You’re gonna love being with your bros. Trust me, man, it’s what you’ve always wanted.”
Tom’s mind screamed in protest, but his body continued to betray him. The hair follicles on his chest started to burn as Tom saw in the reflection of the mirror that his faint dark brown hair was turning clearer, taking a golden hue, almost disappearing in his skin. He saw the same happening in his armpits as they grew thicker and denser there. The scent of his own sweat mixed with Ryan’s musk, creating an overwhelming cocktail of testosterone that filled the car.
His abs rippled beneath his torn shirt, each muscle growing more defined until his midsection was a solid, chiseled six-pack. His body was drenched in sweat, the salty tang of it filling the air, and to his horror, Tom realized he didn’t hate the smell. He liked it. He craved it.
His face contorted in pain as his jawline shifted, becoming squarer and more pronounced. His cheekbones sharpened, his nose slightly thickened, and his brow became more prominent. His once-neatly dark brown trimmed hair grew wilder, curlier, messier style that looked perfect for a frat bro.
But the worst was yet to come. Tom’s groin pulsed with heat, his penis swelling to an obscene size. His balls hung low, filled with a primal need, a hunger for something more. His underwear strained to contain the sheer mass of his manhood, and Tom could feel his arousal building, stronger, hotter, and more insistent than anything he had ever experienced.
“No… no…” Tom moaned, but it wasn’t just the size that scared him. It was the desire. The growing lust, not for women, but for men, his bros. The idea of being surrounded by them, feeling their bodies pressed against his, touching, tasting, servicing them, it sent waves of unwanted pleasure through him as he was trying to restraint those foreign pulsion. Tom turned his head back to throw a look of pleading to Ryan, but the only thing he saw between his locks of curly blonde hair was Ryan gripping his own groin through his jeans while licking his lips looking at him.
Inside his mind, Tom was screaming, fighting to hold onto his old self, but his body was changing too fast, too much. His cock twitched, a bead of precum forming at the tip, staining the inside of his underwear turned into a kaki speedo. His new, massive muscles tensed, and every part of him screamed for release.
Ryan watched him struggle, a grin of satisfaction on his face. “You’re almost there, bro. You feel it, don’t you? You need to let go. Just blow it in your speedo, man, and it’ll all be over. You’ll be one of us.”
Tom’s mind rebelled, but his body was beyond his control. The overwhelming musk, the power coursing through his muscles, the heat in his groin, it was too much. He could feel his balls tighten, his cock throb, and his heart race as the tension built inside him.
“Come on, bro, I gave you a chance to really enjoy this all. Way too long…” Ryan urged, his voice low and commanding. “Fuck it, you wanted this. CUM!”
With a shuddering gasp, Tom’s body obeyed. His cock spasmed, and with a grunt of pure, animalistic pleasure, he came hard, his seed spilling into his speedo in a hot, sticky mess. The sensation was overwhelming, waves of ecstasy crashing through his entire body. His muscles flexed, his heart pounded, and his new frat bro self-emerged in full force. As the orgasm was subsiding, Tom’s clothes torn clothes started to vanish into pure manly musk, evaporating straight from his body and pushing the musk in the car even further. Tom stood there, his new kaki speedo damp with his cum. The outline of his huge cock still visible in the dampness of the tissue. Tom trying to find his breath as Ryan was still boringly stroking his cock and riding the hangover of alcohol and musk.
Tom’s conversion was complete, his body now entirely foreign to him, yet every part of it felt strong, powerful, and, worst of all, desperately needy. His new muscular frame was drenched in sweat, his speedo sticky and soaked with his release. His broad chest heaved, the musky scent of his own sweat mingled with the fresh cum soaking his crotch, the stench filling the car.
Tom opened his eyes after a while when his brain could connect the information around him. He tried to move to take a look but to his surprise he couldn’t do anything. IT was like he was frozen on his car seat. As he started to panic, Tom heard Ryan’s voice from behind him as he felt hands on his muscled sweaty shoulders. “I told you you should have let it go and accept it. But no, you had to fight… I’m sorry bro, but if you had accepted the changes, your soul would have been assimilated. Now you’ll have to live your life from the passenger seat. Too bad for a driver to be a passenger of his own life.” Inside, Tom was screaming in pure, abject horror. He could still feel everything, the slick wetness in his shorts, the stench of his own musk, and the weight of his massive muscles. But it was like he had been shoved into a tiny corner of his own brain, trapped as a mere observer while his new frat bro body had taken full control. He could see, hear, and feel, but he was no longer in command. “See? You should have accepted way earlier Tom, or should I call you Carter!”
Ryan leaned forward, inspecting his handiwork, and laughed. “Oh yeah, bro. You’re one of us now. Look at you—fucking perfect. Just wait until the other guys get a load of you.”
Tom wanted to scream, to shout at Ryan, but his body refused to respond. Instead, his lips parted into a cocky grin, and his voice, deep and full of arrogance, spoke words that Tom didn’t want to say. “Hell yeah, man. I’m ready. Let’s fucking go.”
Inside, Tom’s soul wept. He tried to fight, to claw his way back to control, but the frat bro instincts that now filled his brain were stronger, overpowering his old self. He couldn’t stop the way his muscles flexed instinctively, couldn’t stop the pulse of desire that rushed through him at the thought of being with his bros, couldn’t stop the way his cock throbbed with excitement at the idea of being used by them.
Ryan clapped him on the back, his grin wide. “That’s the spirit, bro. Let’s head back to the house, just got a text from Cassidy and she cancelled our date. That’s okay though, looks like our brand-new slut just arrived. The guys are gonna fucking love you.”
Carter shifted in the seat, his large, muscular frame barely fitting in the compact space now. His legs stretched out, thick thighs brushing against the dash as he shifted, adjusting his still-hard cock in his shorts. His skin felt tight over his new muscles, the hair on his chest and legs sticking to his sweaty skin, adding to the overpowering scent that filled the car. His body, now perfect for the frat life, responded instinctively, craving the approval and attention of the bros waiting for him at the house.
After a while, they were both back at the frat house, every step sent a fresh wave of musk into the air, the smell clinging to his skin, marking him as one of them. Tom hated it, despised the way his new body seemed to revel in the scent, in the sheer masculinity of it all.
The door swung open, and the other Delta Sig brothers were already lounging on the couches, drinking and laughing. As soon as Carter walked in, all eyes were on him, and the room erupted into cheers.
“Damn, Ryan, you did a fucking good job on this one!” one of the bros called out, eyeing Carter with a mix of approval and lust.
Ryan grinned, clapping Carter on the shoulder. “Told you guys I’d bring us a new hole to fuck to replace the last one. He’s fucking perfect, right?”
Carter’s frat bro instincts kicked in, and he flexed his arms, showing off his massive biceps with a cocky grin. His body responded to their approval with an almost addictive high, a deep, primal desire to be wanted by them, to be used by them.
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Inside, Tom was screaming, but his body was lost in the moment, his cock already twitching in anticipation as the bros crowded around him, patting him on the back, feeling his muscles, and welcoming him into their ranks.
Ryan leaned in close, his voice low and teasing. “You feel that, bro? You’re one of us now. Doesn’t it feel fucking amazing?”
Carter’s mouth opened, and his voice, deep, confident, and undeniably turned on answered, “Yeah, bro. Feels fucking incredible.”
Ryan smirked, satisfied. “Welcome to the brotherhood, man. Now, let’s get you upstairs and really show you what it means to be a Delta Sig.”
As the group led Tom toward the stairs, the weight of his new life fully settled in. Inside, his old self screamed and fought, desperate to break free. But his body, now a slave to the desires of the frat, couldn’t wait to submit to his bros, to be used by them in every way. ______________________________________________________________ Hey guys! Hope you'll enjoy this story based on this prompt from an anonymous: "An Uber driver picks up a drunk guy with smelly feet who taunts him with his scent and tfs him into a bro to go out drinking with." Hope you like it! As always feel free to message me in dms or ask if you want me to write prompts or just talk. Have a good day! :)
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apollogeticx · 2 days
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✧˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳ DUMB & POETIC ♡·˚
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— [♡] ; you sprouted love like flowers, growing a garden in your mind and watering the petals with every unshed tear. 。°. gojo satoru
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tags: hanahaki disease, fem!reader, fluff, slow burn, angst, hurt/comfort, emotional growth, vulnerable gojo satoru, recovered feelings, love after trauma, reconciliation, slow healing, happy ending, chapter four of four!
wc. 3.2K
↳ part 1 | part 2 | part 3
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The beach house had settled into a rhythm. Yuji, Nobara, and Megumi had kept the energy alive with beach games, bad jokes, and playful arguments. Even you had begun to relax, finding moments of peace between the tension that still occasionally surfaced between you and Gojo. But for the most part, the trip was turning out to be just what you needed—a break from everything that had happened, a chance to breathe.
It wasn’t until the third day, when the sun was high in the sky and the others were down by the shore, that Gojo’s phone rang. He was lounging on the deck, sipping something cold, when the shrill sound of his ringtone broke the lazy quiet. He glanced at the screen, surprised to see Shoko’s name flash across it.
He raised an eyebrow but answered, casually leaning back in his chair. “Hey, Shoko. What’s up?”
“What’s up?” Shoko’s voice came through sharp and annoyed, a tone Gojo didn’t often hear from her. “Are you out of your mind, Gojo?”
Gojo blinked, sitting up straighter at the edge in her voice. “What’s this about?”
There was a pause on the other end, and then Shoko sighed, her frustration palpable even through the phone. “You know what this is about. You dragged them— her —to your beach house? For spring break?”
Gojo frowned, confused. “Yeah, we needed a break. So what?”
“So what? Gojo, are you seriously that oblivious?” Shoko snapped. “Or are you really trying to make her fall in love with you all over again?”
Gojo froze, the words hitting him like a bucket of cold water. “What? No! That’s not—” He trailed off, suddenly unsure. Was that what he was doing? Was that why he’d invited everyone here? Why he’d made sure you came along?
Shoko’s silence on the other end was damning. She let out a frustrated huff before continuing. “Gojo, you might be the strongest sorcerer in the world, but when it comes to this, you’re clueless. Do you even realize what you’re doing? You’re putting her in the same position she was in before the surgery.”
Gojo stood up, moving to the edge of the deck, his hand running through his hair. “That’s not what I’m trying to do,” he insisted, though even as he said it, doubt began creeping in. “I just… I wanted to figure things out. With her. With all of this.”
“Figure things out?” Shoko’s voice was laced with disbelief. “You don’t get it, do you? She almost died because of how deeply she loved you. And now, after all that, you’re bringing her here, spending time with her like this… What do you think is going to happen, Gojo? She’ll just magically fall in love with you again? And this time it’ll be fine because you’re paying attention?”
Gojo clenched his jaw, the weight of her words hitting him harder than he expected. He hadn’t thought about it that way. He hadn’t been trying to manipulate anything—he hadn’t meant for this trip to turn into some kind of emotional trap. But now, hearing Shoko lay it out so plainly, he couldn’t ignore the truth.
Was that what he was doing? Trying to pull you back into his orbit, hoping that maybe—just maybe—you’d fall for him again? He hadn’t even realized it, but now that Shoko had said it out loud, it was impossible to ignore.
“I didn’t…” He trailed off, his voice quieter now. “I didn’t think of it like that.”
“No, you didn’t,” Shoko said, her voice softer but still firm. “You’ve never been good at thinking about the emotional fallout, Gojo. And I get it—you’re used to being able to fix things with power or clever words. But this isn’t something you can just fix by inviting her to a beach house.”
Gojo leaned against the railing, staring out at the ocean, his mind racing. He hadn’t meant for this to happen, hadn’t realized how deeply he was still entangled in everything that had happened between the two of you. But now, with Shoko’s words ringing in his ears, he couldn’t deny the truth. Somewhere along the way, without even realizing it, he had started wanting you to love him again.
He didn’t even know when it had started—maybe it was when he had seen you for the first time after the surgery, standing there with the weight of your love for him gone. Or maybe it was when you had told him, with fear in your voice, that you were afraid of falling for him again. Either way, it was there now, lingering in the back of his mind, in every look, every word.
Shoko’s voice cut through his thoughts. “Look, Gojo… I know you care about her. But you need to be careful. If you really want to help her, if you really care about her, you need to stop thinking about what you want and start thinking about what’s best for her.”
Gojo let out a slow breath, his grip tightening on the railing. “I didn’t… I wasn’t trying to hurt her, Shoko.”
“I know you weren’t,” Shoko replied, her tone softer now. “But just be honest with yourself, Gojo. Are you really ready to face what happens if she does love you again? Or are you going to make the same mistake and push her away when things get complicated?”
Gojo didn’t answer right away, his mind spinning with everything Shoko had said. He hadn’t meant for any of this to happen. But now, standing here, he realized that maybe—just maybe—he had been hoping for something. Something he hadn’t even been able to admit to himself until now.
“I’ll figure it out,” he said finally, his voice quieter, more serious than before. “I don’t want to hurt her again.”
“Good,” Shoko replied, her voice gentle but firm. “Because if you do, Gojo… this time, it might be too late to fix.”
They said their goodbyes, but Gojo didn’t move from his spot on the deck. The weight of Shoko’s words hung heavy over him, and for the first time in a long time, he wasn’t sure what to do.
He wasn’t used to this—feeling unsure, feeling vulnerable. He wasn’t used to caring this much about someone. But when it came to you, everything felt different. Messy. Complicated. And now, standing here in the soft light of the evening, he couldn’t help but wonder: What was this? What was he doing?
And more importantly: What did he want?
Because whether he liked it or not, Shoko was right. If he wasn’t careful, he was going to make the same mistake all over again.
And this time, there wouldn’t be a second chance.
Gojo stood there, the ocean stretching endlessly before him, but his mind was elsewhere—caught in the tangled mess of emotions and half-formed thoughts that had been brewing since the moment Shoko’s words hit him. He wasn’t used to this. He wasn’t used to questioning himself, to feeling so unsure about what he wanted or what to do next. But now, he couldn’t avoid it.
What do you want, Gojo?
That question had been lingering in the back of his mind for days, ever since this whole beach trip started. He had thought, at first, that it was about giving you a break, giving all of you some time away to reset. But if he was being honest with himself—and maybe for the first time, he really was—this trip had never just been about a vacation. It had been an excuse. An excuse to be near you, to figure out what this thing between you two was. He had wanted to get closer, to understand why you still lingered in his mind, even after the surgery had erased the love you once felt for him.
But now, after Shoko’s call, after that blunt, almost painful clarity she had given him, he couldn’t pretend anymore. It wasn’t about curiosity. It wasn’t about guilt or responsibility, either.
He cared about you. Not just as a student, not just because of what had happened. It was something more. Something deeper that he hadn’t realized until now, until the idea of you falling for him again was no longer a distant possibility but something that could happen. Something that he wanted to happen.
Gojo exhaled slowly, running a hand through his hair as he watched the waves roll in, his thoughts swirling like the tide. He had never been one to care about these kinds of things. Feelings, relationships, love—it had always seemed messy, complicated, something he wasn’t built for. He was Satoru Gojo, the strongest sorcerer alive, someone who lived on the edge of power and responsibility, always just a step removed from everyone else.
But with you… it felt different. He wasn’t standing on the edge anymore, wasn’t watching from afar. He was right in the middle of it, tangled up in something that he couldn’t just ignore or brush off.
Shoko had been right. If you fell in love with him again—and he knew it was possible, even probable—it would be different this time. Because now, it wasn’t just about your feelings. It was about his.
He hadn’t noticed it before. He hadn’t wanted to. But now, with the question staring him in the face, he couldn’t deny it anymore.
Gojo wanted you.
Not in the simple, surface-level way that he sometimes joked about with others. This wasn’t about charm or attraction, or the way he could so easily draw people in with his confidence and smile. This was deeper. He wanted you in his life, in a way that felt grounding, like maybe for the first time, he wasn’t floating above everything but was anchored to something real.
He wanted to be there, for you and with you—not just as your teacher or some distant figure in the background, but as someone who mattered. Someone who could be a part of your life, not just someone you admired from afar.
And if you fell in love with him again?
He wasn’t going to push you away this time. He wasn’t going to let fear or uncertainty stop him from trying. Because now, he understood that he had been waiting for something like this—for someone like you. Someone who made him feel… human, in a way he hadn’t felt in years.
Gojo smiled softly to himself, feeling the weight of his decision settle over him. It wasn’t a grand revelation or some huge, life-altering moment. It was quiet. Simple. But it was real.
He wanted you. And for the first time in his life, Gojo wasn’t afraid of what that meant.
The rest of the evening passed quietly. Yuji and Nobara had managed to drag Megumi back to the house, exhausted from the day’s activities, and the house was filled with the usual banter and noise that came from having them around. You had retreated to the kitchen, helping yourself to a glass of water, when you felt his presence behind you.
“Hey,” Gojo’s voice was light, but there was something different in his tone—something more grounded, more focused.
You turned to face him, surprised to find him standing closer than you expected, his usual easy grin absent, replaced by a more serious expression. His eyes, usually hidden behind his blindfold, were uncovered, bright and intense as they met yours.
“Hi,” you replied, suddenly feeling nervous, like there was something unspoken hanging in the air between you.
Gojo leaned against the counter, his gaze never leaving yours. “I’ve been thinking,” he said, his voice softer than usual, almost tentative. “About everything. About us.”
Your heart skipped a beat at the word us, and you swallowed hard, unsure of where this conversation was going. “What about us?”
Gojo was quiet for a moment, as if choosing his words carefully. “I know things have been complicated,” he began slowly. “And I know I haven’t exactly been great at… dealing with all of this. But I want to be honest with you.”
You stared at him, your pulse quickening. “Honest about what?”
He took a deep breath, his gaze softening as he spoke. “About what I want. About what’s been going on in my head since all of this started. And the truth is… I want you around. Not just as one of my students, but… more than that.”
You blinked, his words sinking in slowly. Your heart was racing, and you could barely breathe. “More than that?”
Gojo smiled, a small, genuine smile. “Yeah. I’ve realized that… I don’t want to push you away. I don’t want to pretend like none of this matters. It does. You matter. And I want to figure it out—whatever this is, whatever it could be—together.”
You stared at him, your mind reeling. Gojo—Satoru Gojo—was standing in front of you, telling you that he wanted you, that he wanted to figure out whatever was between you. The fear that had been gnawing at you since the surgery, the uncertainty of what would happen if you let yourself care for him again, all of it seemed to melt away in the face of his quiet sincerity.
For the first time since everything had changed, you felt something new. Something fragile, but real.
Hope.
You took a deep breath, meeting his gaze. “What if I fall for you again?” you asked, your voice trembling but steady.
Gojo stepped closer, his smile widening, his eyes soft but full of that familiar spark. “Then it’s all good.”
And for the first time in a long time, you weren’t afraid of what came next.
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A few months had passed since that conversation at the beach house, and everything had settled into something new—something real. The fear, the uncertainty that had once weighed heavily between you and Gojo, had slowly faded, replaced by something more stable, more grounded. Life had moved forward, but now, it did so with a quiet ease that you hadn’t expected.
Your relationship with Gojo had evolved, and though it hadn’t been without its bumps and awkward moments, it had become something solid. It wasn’t rushed or dramatic, like you might have once imagined. There were no grand declarations of love, no sweeping romantic gestures. Instead, it was quiet and slow, built on the foundation of friendship, trust, and mutual understanding.
It felt like you had both found your footing, like you were learning how to be in each other’s lives without the fear of repeating the mistakes of the past.
It was a Saturday afternoon, and the weather was warm, the sun shining down as you and Gojo walked through the school grounds. Yuji, Nobara, and Megumi were off training somewhere, and the two of you had decided to take advantage of the quiet. Gojo had a bag of snacks slung over his shoulder, and you had your hands tucked into your pockets, enjoying the comfortable silence between you.
“What’s the plan for today, sensei?” you asked, giving him a teasing smile. It had become a running joke between you—calling him "sensei" even though the dynamic between you had changed so much over the past few months.
Gojo grinned, his usual playful energy still very much intact. “Oh, you know, the usual. Thought we could go somewhere quiet and you watch me be awesome.”
You rolled your eyes but couldn’t stop the smile that tugged at your lips. “You mean watch you eat snacks and avoid responsibility?”
“Exactly,” Gojo said with a wink, falling into step beside you. “See, you’re catching on.”
The banter between you had always been there, but now it was different. There was a lightness to it that hadn’t existed before. You weren’t constantly second-guessing yourself, wondering if Gojo was thinking about the past or the surgery or the complicated feelings that had once consumed both of you. Now, things just… were.
You weren’t in a rush to define the relationship, to label it. The love you had once felt for him had changed—it wasn’t the same overwhelming, suffocating force that had bloomed inside of you like the flowers that had nearly killed you. Instead, it had grown into something healthier, something that didn’t demand all of you but existed alongside you.
And Gojo? He had changed, too. He wasn’t the same distant, untouchable figure he had once been. He still had that easy confidence, that charm that made everyone around him smile, but there was something softer about him now—something more vulnerable. He had let you in, and though it hadn’t been easy for him, he hadn’t pulled away. He hadn’t run.
You found a quiet spot under a tree near the edge of the training grounds, and Gojo flopped down onto the grass, pulling a snack out of his bag with a dramatic flourish. You sat beside him, leaning back against the tree and closing your eyes for a moment, enjoying the warmth of the sun on your face.
“So,” Gojo said after a while, his tone more serious than usual. “How’s it going? You know… with everything.”
You opened your eyes, glancing over at him. It wasn’t like Gojo to ask questions like that—he wasn’t one for deep conversations unless they happened naturally, but when he did ask, you knew it mattered.
“It’s going,” you replied honestly, offering him a small smile. “Better than I expected.”
He raised an eyebrow, clearly interested. “Better how?”
You sighed, resting your head back against the tree as you thought about your answer. “I’m not afraid anymore. Of being around you. Of falling for you again.” You turned your head to look at him, and his expression softened. “And I think… I already did.”
Gojo didn’t flinch. He didn’t tense up or act surprised. Instead, he smiled, his gaze warm as he looked at you. “I know.”
It wasn’t a grand moment, but it didn’t need to be. You had fallen for him again, slowly, gradually, and this time it felt right. It felt safe. It wasn’t the kind of love that demanded too much or threatened to swallow you whole. It was something that grew between you, steady and unforced.
And Gojo? He was right there with you.
You hadn’t talked much about what your relationship was in specific terms. You didn’t need to. What mattered was that you were both here, both willing to figure it out together. There was no rush, no urgency. Just… time. Time to grow, to understand each other, to learn how to love in a way that wasn’t destructive.
Gojo reached out, his fingers brushing against yours as he gave you that easy, lopsided grin you had come to know so well. “I’m not going anywhere, you know,” he said softly. “No matter what happens. We’ll figure it out.”
You smiled, feeling the warmth of his words settle over you. “I know.”
The two of you sat there for a while longer, the sound of the breeze rustling the leaves overhead and the distant laughter of the others in the background. It was peaceful, quiet, and for the first time in a long time, you felt like you could breathe—like you had found something worth holding onto, not because you needed it to survive, but because it made life better.
And that was enough.
As the sun began to dip lower in the sky, casting long shadows across the grass, Gojo shifted beside you, his gaze thoughtful. “You know, we never did figure out what this is,” he said, gesturing between the two of you with a lazy wave of his hand. “Maybe we should give it a name.”
You laughed, shaking your head. “Does it need a name?”
He grinned, leaning back on his elbows and looking up at the sky. “Nah. I guess not.”
And in that moment, you realized that it didn’t matter what you called it. What mattered was that you were here, together, and that the love between you—whatever form it took—was real.
And that was more than enough.
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notes: now everyone says "thank you shoko ieiri"! writing this was so much fun, thank you so much!
tag list: @lily-of-my-dreams @sunnyx07 @3zae-zae3 @sashisuslover @kingshitonly @bvuckleybby @laviefantasie @r0ckst4rjk @minkyungseokie @tw0fvced @f1sheeee @laviefantasie @f1sheeee @spindyl @itsjustnikkixoxo @springsoltice
©apollogeticx ⋆ all rights reserved.
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jeonginsleftcheek · 17 hours
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The sun to me
Chapter III. Sun ray.
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pairing: hwang hyunjin x afab!reader
word count: 3.4k
chapter summary: discovering a hidden place helps discover hidden feelings and the camera captures a fleeting moment of happiness.
warnings: description of a nightmare with drowning
~ Masterlist for the series
~ next part
🌻 Sunflower - happiness and positivity.
There's no air that can reach his lungs, Hyunjin realizes this as the feeling of water filling up his insides consumes his entire being.
He's grasping for a figurative straw, his arms are lifting up to reach towards the surface, where he can see the light reflecting off of it, the sliver of hope he craves to hold on to.
Bubbles leave his lips as he screams silently in panic, unable to swim up, like some kind of deep sea leviathan has gripped his ankles and it's pulling him further down.
Down where he'll disappear forever, his body becoming food for the fishes, his existence forgotten like he was never even alive.
Like his dreams, thoughts and wishes didn't matter. Like whatever painting he ever created was scraped away, washed away, faded away into oblivion.
There's warmness and comfort replacing the harsh iciness of the sea when he stops fighting against it, letting it take him into it's depths where he'll be safe from all the harm that the big bad world has brought him.
Hyunjin's eyes open abruptly and the warmness he felt in his nightmare comes in the shape of salty tears sliding down his cheeks. He coughs, sitting up quickly, feeling like the air from his lungs has actually been taken away.
He reaches for the glass of water on the nightstand and drinks the refreshing liquid with big gulps.
He shivers, eyes fluttering before he reaches up to wipe his tears away.
Hyunjin can't even remember the last time he cried, or the last time he had a nightmare like this.
Shaking it off, he checks the clock and as he slowly comes to his senses, the hope he wanted so desperately to cling onto in his dream, lingers in his chest again.
It's almost time to meet up with you.
With newfound excitement, Hyunjin slowly but surely forgets about the feeling of the cold sea enveloping him as he gets ready for the day.
His camera is a must as he grabs it last, before skipping two steps at a time as he makes his way downstairs.
"Good morning, Hyunjin."- Isaac almost scares him as he appears beside him in the hall, a newspaper in his hand.
"Oh, good morning Isaac."- Hyunjin smiles, after the mini heart attack he experienced.
"What's the plan for today?"- Isaac asks and doesn't miss the way Hyunjin's smile widens.
"I- uhm- managed to find a tour guide for the island."- he stutters out, redness spreading on his cheeks.
"Oh really? And who might that be? I know everyone here and I just wanna make sure you're safe."- Isaac half-jokes, he has every good intention in mind.
"Y/n."- Hyunjin answers and Isaac looks a little surprised.
"So, am I safe?"- Hyunjin asks as Isaac gets quiet suddenly.
"Yes, yes, very safe. I'm just a little surprised that she offered."- Isaac says, waving the newspaper around.
"How so?"- Hyunjin tilts his head curiously.
"She's kind of a... homebody. Or gardenbody, if you will."- Isaac snickers at his own joke. "Mostly keeps to herself and her flowers. But she's a good girl, really."- he finishes, with his signature warm smile.
"I thought so too."- Hyunjin nods.
"Well, have fun. I hope you'll indulge me later with a little visit to my studio."
The lump in Hyunjin's throat is back.
"I'll try."- and he really will.
With all he has in him, he will try to look deep within himself to find the strength and inspiration he lost somewhere along the way.
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When your alarm wakes you up that morning, you don't feel annoyed or groggy, you feel excited.
The sun coming through the window lays on your body like a warm blanket, threatening to make you fall asleep again but your galloping heartbeat doesn't let you fall into the safety of your dreams again.
You get up with a kind of giddiness in your body, a skip in your step as you decide to wear your favorite yellow dress, the color of the sunflowers, the one kept in the back of your closet, existing only for special occasions.
The thought of spending time with and getting to know Hyunjin, makes for a pretty special occasion in your mind.
You're already planning a little route, imagining taking him to all your favorite places, the ones you saw so many times now being looked at from a new pair of eyes, the eyes of an artist with a paintbrush and a camera.
You wait for him in front of your flower shop, clutching at your little backpack, nervousness washing over you.
Hyunjin arrives on time, the sunlight making him shine brighter than any pretty jewel you've ever laid your eyes upon.
When he sees you, his face breaks into a smile as he runs his hand through his hair, a habit you already picked up on.
He's wearing sunglasses and his usual jewelry, his camera resting on his chest and a backpack on his shoulders.
"Morning!"- you greet when he's close enough.
"Morning!"- he returns the greeting equally excitedly as he cascades up to you.
"Did you sleep well?"- you ask and Hyunjin shivers a little, his lips parting as he blinks.
"Let's say I did."- he nods, pursing his lips.
"It takes some time to get used to all the smell of the varnished wood in Isaac's house."- you chuckle, starting to walk.
"Oh, you've been there?"- Hyunjin asks as he hurries up to follow you.
"Of course! Everyone's been at Isaac's."- you chuckle again. "We're like a little community here. He invites half the island to dinner sometimes. Well, when it's his son's or wife's anniversary mostly. He doesn't want to be alone then. I bring him flowers and my mom's famous cake."- you say as you approach the little restaurant you visit almost every day.
"Oh yeah, he told me about his son. Not about his wife though."- Hyunjin looks thoughtful.
"He'll tell you, I'm sure."- you say as you stop walking. "I thought we could eat breakfast first if you haven't had it yet."
"Oh yeah, actually I'm starving."- Hyunjin nods quickly, almost forgetting about the previous conversation.
You walk in and are greeted by Catherine immediately as she stands behind the bar and wipes away clean coffee cups, putting them back in their designated places.
Luna is sitting at one of the tables, coloring and lost in her own little world.
Catherine greets you, then stops when she looks at Hyunjin.
"Oh, hello there...?"- she looks at your new friend expectantly.
"Hyunjin. Nice to meet you."- he picks upon everyone wanting to meet the newcomer at their island.
"Catherine. That's my daughter Luna. And my husband, Bennet."- she points at him just as he walks out of the kitchen, carrying a plate of pancakes for his daughter.
"Oh, good morning, good people!"- Bennet smiles and you chuckle.
"Hyunjin just arrived on the island and I'm planning to show him around. But we can't really do that on an empty stomach."- you say and Catherine chuckles.
"Oh no, we can't have the two of you hungry. Why don't you two sit down and I'll bring a menu so your friend can look at it?"- Catherine says.
You take your usual spot, next to the window and she brings the menu for Hyunjin.
"You eat lunch here, right?"- Hyunjin asks as he scans the menu.
"How did you know?"- you ask, looking up from setting your backpack down on the floor.
"It's kind of the only restaurant in the vicinity."- Hyunjin chuckles and you feel your face warm up in embarassment.
"Right."- you giggle.
"Here's your lemonade."- Catherine appears.
"Ooh, can I order one too?"- Hyunjin asks.
"Of course, I'll get right on that."- Catherine says before she disappears again.
"So, what do you recommend?"- Hyunjin asks.
"Well, an omelette is always good. So are pancakes. Maybe some fruit?"- you say and he chuckles.
"How about all of it?"
"That sounds good."
After you order a little bit of everything, Luna appears next to your table.
She giggles at Hyunjin shyly, half-hiding behind your arm.
Hyunjin greets her and you bend down to her level.
"Don't be shy."- you chuckle and then sign something as Hyunjin observes the two of you and realizes that the little girl is deaf.
"Oh, okay."- you laugh, your face red, you sign something else and Luna giggles again before running away back to her table.
"She can't hear at all?"- Hyunjin asks quietly.
"No, she was born like that. But she's a happy little girl."- you smile.
"What did you sign to her last?"- he asks curiously.
"I told her she looks pretty."- you say and Hyunjin nods. "She also said that you look like a prince, and that I look like a princess."
Hyunjin sputters, almost choking on his lemonade, his hand on his chest.
"Well, not sure about the first one but I agree with the latter."
Your heart threatens to betray you in that very moment.
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With tummies full and cheeks rosy, Hyunjin and you walk quietly together, the sound of gravel crunching under your feet seemingly loud in the comfortable silence.
"Have you been living on the island your whole life?"- he asks, breaking the silence suddenly.
"Pretty much, yeah. I've only moved for college shortly but I never finished."- you say.
"What did you study?"
"Journalism."
"Really?"- he chuckles. "If you graduated maybe you'd be the one interviewing me and maybe we'd meet then, in the showbiz world."
"Okay, mr. Big Shot."- you laugh and he laughs embarassingly at himself.
"Why didn't you finish? Lost motivation or?"
"My mother fell sick. Had to move back and take care of her."- you say and Hyunjin again feels like he's just here digging into people's wounds.
"Oh, I'm sorry."
"No, it's fine. It was a long time ago now. I'm glad I moved back here. I like this quiet little life. I think the big city would eat me up, honestly."- you confess, leading Hyunjin to the pretty forest behind the beach where you sat looking at the sunset the night before.
"The big city really does eat you up. You get stuck in a rut and washed away with all the other trash."
"Speaking from personal experience?"- you quirk up an eyebrow as you finally get under the shade of the big trees.
Hyunjin lifts his camera up, snapping a few pictures before he turns towards you and you lift your hand up just in time for him to snap a picture of you trying to hide your face.
"Yeah, I guess so."- he answers, the look in his eyes doleful.
"Is that why you came here?"- your finger is now pressing into Hyunjin's own wound.
"Kind of."- he says quietly. "The lifestyle I live right now is not something I'm proud of and definitely not what I wanted."
"Sometimes you have to do the things you hate to get to what you love."- you say as the two of you make your way to the neatly hidden cove you always loved to come to with your little notebooks and pencils.
Sometimes you would go there just to sit and think. Sometimes it was the only place that you could cry in peace at, your tears blending into the vastness of the salty sea, soothing and alluring.
Nobody asking you what's wrong and what they can do to make it better, because nothing can make it better, nothing except letting it all out, away from all the prying eyes and hands.
"I'm pretty sure I mostly do things I hate. Don't even know what I love about it anymore."- Hyunjin finds himself surprised with the fact that he can so easily tell you what's been weighing heavy on his mind for what feels like an eternity.
"Don't you love painting?"
"I used to. Not sure anymore."- Hyunjin shivers at the realization that it was the first time he's uttered that out loud except when he was screaming at his manager.
"I'm sure you can teach yourself to love it again. Maybe with a little help too. For example, what is your favorite thing to paint? Or was, rather."- you ask, curiously tilting your head at him as you near the narrow entrance to the cove.
"Flowers."- Hyunjin says as you come to a stop in front of the entrance and he lifts his camera up to take photos.
"I happen to know quite a lot about flowers."- you tease and Hyunjin chuckles, putting the camera down.
"Oh really now? Maybe I could use your knowledge as my inspiration if you'll let me."- he smiles and your heart flutters.
"Sure, you can come to my flower shop or garden any time."- you smile back and it's like some kind of relief keeps washing over Hyunjin whenever you smile at him like that.
"I'd love that."- he says and you lead him through the little cave out to the beach.
"This'll be a pretty picture."- Hyunjin mutters just as you turn around towards him, the beach coming into view behind you in the opening of the cave.
Click.
The camera clicks, capturing the moment in the frame forever.
You chuckle as you walk out to the cove and Hyunjin follows.
"Wow!"- he gasps. "So beautiful. How is this place still not discovered?"
"Eh, during the summer months people flood this place like moths to a flame. But during the rest of the year, it's mostly empty."
Hyunjin snaps a few pictures again.
"Maybe I should take some pics of you too."- you say.
"Be my guest."- Hyunjin doesn't hesitate to hand you his precious camera.
It doesn't do justice to Hyunjin's beauty, his face bathed in the sunlight, his eyes closed as he turns towards the sea, his lips upturned in a small blissful smile, his dimples showing.
He really looks like the lead of a romance movie, the ones you watched way too many times, knowing deep inside that you'd never be that girl who gets the main guy.
Always the girl on the sidelines, where you got used to being to the point it became hard for you to even imagine falling in love or imagine going out of your comfort zone and giving away your vunerability into someone's open palms like it was just a thing to toss around as everyone takes a turn picking at it, leaving with pieces of you.
Pieces you will never get back, leaving you with your soul bare.
You don't want that, you don't think you even know how to give that anymore.
Everything you give, goes to your flowers.
All your love, your hopes and your tears grow in the shape of stems sprouting out of the earth, blossoming into different colored petals drenched with intoxicating scents.
"Took enough?"- Hyunjin breaks you out of your thoughts and you chuckle a little.
"I think so."- you hand him back the camera before the two of you take a stroll on the beach.
Hyunjin feels like the lead in a romance movie, but there's a wall in front of him, one that is too high to climb up on, too sturdy to break and too deeply rooted into the earth that you can't even dig a hole in it.
The setting is there, the girl is there, only his heart is not. It's scared, hiding away like a wounded animal after a scuffle.
If it was a few years before Hyunjin would surely already let himself fall into you, assured that you'll welcome him with your arms wide open but that's not who he is anymore.
Whatever kind of fairytale he blindly believed in before was just that; a fairytale, not a reality he could touch with his fingertips, hold in his arms, taste on his lips.
But, he is willing to deceive himself even for a fleeting moment of happiness like this.
The walk is short and you end up sitting on the rocks and taking more photos of the picturesque beach, the conversation between you now more light, avoiding the heavy themes and instead commenting on something laugh worthy, something to alleviate the heavy atmosphere threatening to absorb you.
You take Hyunjin back through the forest, walking him all the way into Isaac's street, promising that you will show him another favorite 'secret' place on the island in the next few days.
The sun is almost setting as the two of you turn around and start making your way to your homes.
Hyunjin finally feels something.
It may be small and flickering, like a light at the end of a ceaseless dark tunnel but he can see it in the distance, welcoming him with it's warmth.
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Your evening routine has never felt more special. Even though it's the same night after night, it's like there's glitter sprinkled on everything you touch, making it glow beautifully like it was something completely new.
And while you hum along to your music and cook dinner like some movie character waiting for their lover to arrive home, Hyunjin is sitting in his room.
Isaac wasn't home when he'd arrived so he just made his way upstairs, the wooden stairs creaking under his weight, each one singing a different specific song.
Hyunjin ended up sitting on his bed after a shower and a snack, his camera in his hands as he looked at the pictures both of you took that day.
There was something familiar in the sun rays bursting between trees, in the crease of his brow, in the wave of the sea, in your bright smile. It was as if all of the nature's beauty blended together and into the two of you, whispering quietly to him, coaxing him into a net of safety.
Hyunjin caught himself smiling wide at the thought of you.
A knock on the door burst his little bubble, and he cleared his throat before yelling a 'come in!'.
"Evening, Hyunjin. I was just wondering if you'd like to eat dinner with me."- it was Isaac with his warm smile.
"Of course. I'll be down in five."- he says and Isaac nods curtly before leaving Hyunjin's room.
He sets the camera aside, accidentally casting his eyes on the paintbrushes sticking out of his suitcase he hasn't even completely unpacked yet.
Something twists in his stomach and he turns away from the little devils, deciding to make his way downstairs.
Isaac looks up from preparing the table and Hyunjin joins in, helping him.
"So, how was your outing?"- Isaac asks with a small smile.
"Refreshing, honestly."- Hyunjin returns the smile. "I don't remember the last time I was this relaxed ever since I stepped foot on the island."
"Well, that is so good to hear! I'm glad this little island brings you a peace of mind like it did for me."- Isaac says as the two of them sit down.
"I used to live in the big city. Stop me if I'm wrong here but you probably feel exasperated and worn out from the lifestyle of a successful artist."- Isaac starts and Hyunjin stops him.
"How'd you know I'm successful?"- he asks with his brows lifted up in surprise, making the older man chuckle.
"It's easy to guess so. With one look at your attire, anyone can see you're well off."- Isaac concludes.
"Right."- Hyunjin nods, his cheeks becoming rosy in embarassment. "So, you used to be a successful artist too?"
"Hey, don't say used to!"- Isaac laughs and Hyunjin chuckles, apologizing before Isaac hits him with a 'just kidding'.
"But yes, I used to live the lifestyle you do now. And even with my wife beside me, I continued living the same... let's say festive lifestyle and I neglected her and my son. Ah, it's a long story for another day."- Isaac stops himself.
"Well, I'd like to hear it one day."
"The point I want to make is, don't make the same mistakes I did. If you see a good opportunity, grab it while you can."
Hyunjin can't help but think he's talking about you.
He barely manages to fall asleep that night, even after walking around and eating good food, his mind is restless.
He dreams of blank canvases and sun rays that night. He dreams of your smile and the warmth he feels doesn't come in the shape of tears this time, it comes in the shape of a good feeling blooming inside his chest.
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nothingenoughao3 · 6 months
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herearedragons · 5 months
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lines about leaving someone behind at the end of TWM2 that I feel normal about
(the last three are Edér's, Kana's and Durance's reactions to the Watcher choosing to stay behind)
all screenshotted from this video btw
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spinninglightning · 6 months
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whenever i read fics i always end up thinkin of a song for the fic or like, th chapter and then i canr stop associating the fic w/ those songs
#i listen to sm fckn music tht all the songs end up bein wildly diff too#ong i cld make playlists for multi ch fics#*stares at electric rebels*#actually u know what#i will#here r some songs:#our song by matchbox twenty is (early ch) electric rebels treemina coded#butterfly by bts (song is abt the fear of losing a person and in electric rebels this is very much true#everyone has the fear of not only losing their lives but losing their family(+found) as well#time is very much sacred n stuff like that)#humming by turnover (thr lyrics “with you ill make it out alive” sold me on this one)#viva la vida by coldplay specifically for the capital students because of how disillusioned theyve become due to the games#and forming relationships w/ their tribute#really good examples are vipsania and hilarius#rhythm of love by plain white t's makes me think of all the good moments treech n lamina have had despite their circumstances#(its also just a them song in general)#young volcanoes by fall out boy for the tributes!!! it seems light a more lighthearted victory song almost?#a “we will persevere” thing but more full of complete happiness#think abt the scene of teslee mizzen n treech running down the hill in jubilation (obvs before shit went down)#would that i by hozier just makes me think of when treech first met lamina up in the tree#which witch by florence + the machine is definitely for vipsania just before & after the bombing (aspen too but to a lesser degree almost)#“whos a heretic now” “im miles away hes on my mind” yeahhhh#love grows (where my rosemary goes) by edison lighthouse is jst a rlly good treemina song#rousseau by nerina pallot is a good fpr one of the main questions in the fic “are we really born free?”#(no. theyre not they have to work for that freedom. rousseaus main theory specifically the idea of it works really well for this fic#and the hunger games in general)#the promise by when in rome seems to work especially for treech and how he interacts with the others#he always seems to make promises - that theyll live - that he wont leave - that hell take care of the living for the deceased#this ended up sm longer than intended i reached the TAG LIMIT#basil.txt
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saeshiraw · 1 year
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tired girl hours i’m just ranting bcos i don’t have enough time to cry
#tw rant#studying med is no joke. ik it was gonna be a commitment n that it wasnt gonna be easy n i thought i was prepared but im not#its my passion. i love what im studying and ive dedicated myself to this path but i just. its so hard n i just want to cry. everyday feels#so tiring. morning to night classes. when i get home i have to read 4 chapters MINIMUM n the books are so thick + exams almost everyday#i feel worse knowing there’s this 1 girl in my friend group that cant decide whether she likes me or not. one moment shes complimenting me#n asking where i get my outfits or my nails done or my earrings or whatever then praising me that i probably study the least out of everyone#yet still reach high student rankings but its not that im lazy im just so exhausted n its hard to have motivation... lowkey envy how my#friends study minimum 4 hours a day. we’re all tired n sleep deprived. even taking 30mins to eat makes me feel guilty. cant even watch 1 ep#of an anime bcos ill be thinking about the amount of work to do. and i have sm plans. i wanna be more active and have a healthier lifestyle#but i cant find it in me to wake up every 5am to go to the gym when i just wanna get as much sleep when im lucky to finish my studies today#i also dont see my bestest friends everyday anymore. some of us move to diff unis or some in diff majors. i just miss them so bad it hurts#and i miss the girl i used to be when i still had time and energy to indulge in my hobbies. i miss playing genshin and writing fics#just when i got back to writing and enjoyed it LOVED IT i had to go back to uni. i feel terribly lonely even when im always with people#im afraid ill completely lose grasp of the little things that make me happy bcos the weight of my responsibilities are heavier#im afraid ill be too focused on success again like i was when i was 17 and forget that its okay to relax too but idk#and i wanna meet more people make more friends have new experiences. i wanna feel alive again. and theres sm i wanna talk to or get to know#but im so afraid of people hurting me or disappointing me or people getting to know me only for the friendships to fail or we’ll dislike eac#h other. i wanna date and fall in love again and experience the romance my peers have. i wanna have someone to call my own person but the fe#ar of having someone only to lose them someday scares the hell outta me. im not ready for another heartbreak so i isolate myself and watch#people from afar. uni gives me sm freedom to do everything else and form my own identity but i dont wanna be Perceived. I wanna be heard and#seen n connect with people. but w my curreny state idt i can handle being vulnerable with others. it feels so lonely that the things i want#are out of my rrach but idt i can manage my time to meet new people and make new memories. i console myself by shopping a lot and going to#spas to relax yet i still find it hard to sleep. im afraid im wasting my time. im not as brave as i used to be. im not as efficient as i was#i get older and more tired and while i never questioned if studying med was the path i want i do question what will happen next#“is this all im ever going to be?” im good at what i do but day by day i lose sight of tje girl who knew how to laugh n smile. ik what makes#me happy but i rarely smile genuinely anymore. im so tired and want to sleep for a long time but i dont wanna fail. i dont wanna be NOT good#but it makes me cry when i know i can do many great things but i dont feel loved. people compliment me but dont approach me bcos they say im#intimidating or that im too quiet in class. i wish i could tell them i wanna join their parties too or i wanna meet their friends n hangout#but what if it doesnt work out? what if i wasted my time getting to know someone id eventually regret? what if im the disappointing one?#the days are getting shorter but it always feels like a long day. im ashamed to admit i want someone to hold me yet refuse to have anyone
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scionshtola · 5 months
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it is so hard for me not to post every single thought i have on here the moment i have it
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brothersgrim · 1 year
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Help im sad about the undertaker
#&& reburied; ooc#HE HELPS EVERYBODY BUT NOBODY HELPS HIM#every piece of happiness he tries for gets ripped away from him in increasingly violent ways until he stops trying#in the end the only person he loves is kane. the only thing that makes him happy is kane. and even that is agony after agony#but love is always pain for him#nobody ever stays#his brother is just the only one he can never be without and so he will hurt and hurt and hurt#kane will kill him kane will put him into a coma kane will break his bones and throw him out in the cold kane will set him on fire#kane will bury him alive#and taker will always come back to kane because he believes he deserves it#and because kane is his little brother#his best friend#his only friend#his only family#the only thing that makes his forced existence bearable is when just sitting with the little brother he grieved to the point of apotheosis#but everyone else hurts him and hurts him and hurts him and its just excess pain#he learned through his time as a slave that being alone is safer#and maybe there were some people that almost convinced him otherwise but the other shoe always drops#there are so many knife wounds in his back that a trail of red follows him wherever he goes#he will hurt and hurt and hurt and he can only take so much#he is death he is the reaper he is the pale rider he is the end the omega the devil himself#but he never asked to be#and he was human once#so he will hurt and hurt and hurt for kane alone#nobody else is worth the suffering#and so he is alone#alone#alone.#its safer that way
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glsneeg-enthusiast · 1 year
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forcing you to think about how sneeg genuinely thought frank was alive
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gurorori · 8 months
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i say this with utmost seriousness i wish i was employed
#i need income so badly but im terrified of the prospects of havin 2 live independently but otherwise bein abused 2 death is the only option#:[ im so scared i wish things were easier#it doesn help when they constantly talk abt our neighbor slash childhood bestie whos jus a bit younger than us but alrdy has like#most of her life sorted out shes workin n studyin n they got her a car 4 hwr bday n she has a boyfriend n they r movin out next month#a middle class family btw with two alive parents yadda yadda. her tuition is effortlessly paid n she works on da side 4 her own expenses#n it's like first of all im nawt a well off cis girl. second of all she had qn actual support system n an upbringing — we didn't#i literally vaguely remember spendin most of our childhood n early teens over at her apartment since it was literally two steps away#they'd let us stay 4 hours cuz they felt bad 4 us n they dunno the whole story but they kno we r one of those 'unfortunate' families lol#but yeah the difference between us is night & day. it honestly feels a little crazy since we live literally on the same floor of the same#building despite the feasible differences. idk if dats a good or a bad thing#im jus tired of bein compared 2 her cuz we were failed on so many levels by everyone in our life who was supposed to care 4 us#meanwhile she's an average white blonde girl with a good life by here's standards#i wish we were still close but it became hard approaching teens... still we owr majority of our happy childhood memories 2 hangin out @ her#house or goin places w their family. it almost kinda felt like we were part of it but ik im. exaggeratin#yea idk why i ranted but um i need a job or ill die i think#mika caws
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robo-dino-puppy · 9 months
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if tumblr isn’t giving us a recap i guess we have to do it ourselves!
1. 1,043 notes - Aug 3 2023
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Created by TumblrTop10
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kimvvantae · 11 months
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i might post tml5 tonight !
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asukafigure · 1 year
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Kindest Girl I Knew (Went Out For a Run)
#tw car accident#tw death#hexy posty#in 5th grade i met a girl that was really nice. she was kind to everyone. even the “losers” and people she wasnt friends with#i was somewhay friends with her. in the same way the almost anyone was friends with her. i hung out around the same people#i knew her and had classes with her through 8th grade#we ended up going to different highschools#a couple weeks ago i was told about a road closure due to a car accident and avoided it when i went to work that day#later that night my mom asked me if i knew a specific girl and she informed me that she was involved in the accident. that she had been hit#she had died in the hospital only hours after she was hit#when my mom got home that night we cried and hugged for hours over a girl that i barely knew#she had only gone out for a run on a sunny day and she got hit by a car.#when we graduated highschool she was voted as the “kindest student” for senior superlatives#every memory i have of her is of her smiling and happy and kind.#she was 18. she was my age. she couldve been anyone else. but it was her#she was waiting at the intersection and a large truck with a trailer attached hit her and the tree behind her#she was alive when she was brought to the hospital in critical condition#people have been putting flowers and gifts and candie and such by the tree that was hit. theyve been holding memorials at that tree.#i went to that tree a couple days after and brought flowers#i felt like an ass. sitting and crying over a girl that probably didnt remember i even existed#i prayed for the first time in a long while#she was so damn kind to everyone#even now. weeks after the accident. i still see flowers and candles at the tree when i drive past it for work.#i still turn down my music when i drive past that corner#hexy venty#hexy arty
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steviescrystals · 4 months
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there is no feeling worse in the world than missing your grandma :/
#she died two months before my eighth birthday#and every time i realize i’ve lived well over half my life without her i go a little bit insane bc that just doesn’t feel right#like soooo many of my favorite memories are with her how is it possible she was only in my life for less than eight years#my grandpas on both sides died before i was born so all i’ve ever had is my grandmas#and there’s also the horrible guilt i feel all the time knowing my other grandma is still alive but i rarely ever see her#but when i was a kid she lived an hour and a half away from us and this grandma lived around the corner#so we saw her all the time and every christmas fourth of july etc that whole side of my extended family would all go to her house#she moved into that house when my mom was 2 years old and lived there for the rest of her life so 40 years#and when she went into hospice care her one request was to die in that house surrounded by her kids and grandkids so that’s what happened#my parents bought the house after she died but we lived there for less than 2 years before moving to arizona#they’re both from colorado but they met in arizona and me and my sisters were born here#and the main reason we moved back to colorado in the first place was to be near her#but when we moved again my parents sold the house to our neighbors who had two daughters that my sisters and i grew up with#and they’re still our family friends to this day and we used to go on trips to national parks together every summer#we didn’t see them for maybe five years but then two summers ago their older daughter got married and we went to her wedding#which got us talking about how long it had been since our last trip so we went on another one last summer#this has turned into a tangent but it just makes me so happy that they’re still in our lives#and this great family we’ve known almost my entire life is living in my grandma’s house#she had a pool in her backyard which is super common here in az but not so much in colorado#and she let us invite these girls over all the time to swim so they grew up spending almost as much time in that house as we did#last time we were in colorado we went to have dinner with them and swim and it was like being transported back to my childhood#that house is just so special to me and i felt so blessed to be able to go back there since this family bought it instead of strangers#in a perfect world everything would align in a way that would let me buy it when i’m older and have my own family there#i’ve never had a strong attachment to any other house we’ve lived in but that one will always be my grandma’s house in my mind#i just love and miss her so much she was the most amazing grandma i ever could have asked for#my mom still has a lot of her childhood friends on facebook and whenever she would post pictures of me and my sisters as kids#everyone would comment that i looked exactly like my grandma did when she was a kid and that makes me so so happy#anyway. idk. i just miss her sm she was an angel and i’m so happy she was such a big part of my childhood#lj.txt
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attractthecrows · 5 months
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making myself moody by contemplating the clan Revallen left behind
#revallen lavellan#i almost don't want to consume any more DA bc if they've defined clan tillahnen then his backstory goes down the shitter entirely#me forgetting that this is not my IP: BUT WHAT IF THERE WAS A CLAN OF ENTIRELY SECRET KEEPERS#but they're soooo. they're so. imagine you have a very impressive Keeper. like he's wise and powerful and you're so proud of him#he sacrifices his life for you and his son! how noble. his son takes over as Keeper. He's not as wise yet but he is powerful and SMART#Your new Keeper grows into the job very well. You're proud of him! you love him! he loves you! he loves his clan!#he's married with a child. how sweet. it's nice to see him happy.#his wife dies. oh no. he is distraught#he's only responding to his child. the poor man! you and the rest of the clan give him space and try to make the best of it.#but you're all SO worried! you've never seen the Keeper in this state! even when his father died he still managed to lead. but not now.#you do everything you can to support him. you make sure he's fed. you keep people from bothering him while he's grieving. he's getting wors#and one night he just vanishes with his child#you can't abandon him! he's your Keeper! he's in no state to be traveling alone! what if he does something drastic???#but you never find him or his child. you search and search for months and can't find a trace of them. eventually you mourn.#several years down the line you hear rumors of a conclave. good! the mages and templars are threatening everyone.#the conclave exploded! sad but predictable. those silly humans.#the Herald of Andraste survived! okay sure. humans right?#no he's Dalish! huh how weird. anyways#Haven was attacked! Ah! our poor kinsman caught up in this. how sad to die amongst shemlen#he survived!#they've declared an Inquisition! the Inquisitor...#...IS YOUR KEEPER!!!#there he is!! he's alive!! he's in charge of the humans' Inquisition for some reason but HE'S ALIVE!!!!!#do you pick everything up and go to him? or have you moved on as well?#'we cannot go back to the way things were'#vs 'we never cared about the circumstances - we cared about YOU. so what if times have changed?'
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