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iamafanofcartoons · 2 years ago

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RWBY is a good show, and I’m tired of people pretending its not!

I’m sorry, I’m just so tired of all these random claims that RWBY is “boring anime cliche” or “racist white male writing”, So...let’s go over them in segments

Female characters:

Aren’t walking fanservice shots and aren’t sexualized

Aren’t degraded in their field (combat, tactics, dust usage, etc) to boost up male characters (cause seemingly female characters being too skilled at something is emasculating to incels)

When a woman says no to a man, the man takes no for an answer and doesn’t keep trying. (So dear Hbomberguy, stop claiming that Weiss x Jaune was ever a thing)

Women don’t require a man to “Defend their honor” (This is in response to the dude who harassed me in anonymous about V5 who was upset that Yang punched a creep)

Aren’t woobified or emotionally weakened, instead having reactions to things like normal human beings. (Sorry Shonen anime which loves to make women woobified or emotionally weakened vs men) Being capable of emotions but also doing things effectively.

Aren’t made into waifu for male characters. Nora is still a badass and even being allowed to explore who she is outside of Ren, which runs against the usual anime/manga bs. Weiss didn’t get with Jaune after finding out he helped w/ Neptune. Blake actually defended her boundaries when Sun crossed certain lines (even though they’re brotp not romantic, he’s a male character that could’ve been put as a pseudo-love interest). Yang is also shown to be more than just Blake’s GF as we see in Ruby Yang interactions, Yang vs Salem, Yang ageeing to talk with Robyn. They’re all their own characters not trying to be the perfect wife for a male character.

LGBT+ characters:

aren’t in a world of “everyone is gay or straight”, so for me at least coming across as more impactful

have Ilia (lesbian); Coco (lesbian); Terra (wlw) and Saphron (wlw) also married and w/ kid that aren’t treated different to any other couple; Scarlet (gay-male); Nolan (implied, I think its at this point and not confirmed, mlm); May (non-deadnamed, voiced by and helped crafted with the help of a trans VA, and not having her trans status be the central element of her character trans character); Blake (bi) and Yang (wlw) that are a main pair that are being allowed to build to a relationship at the same pacing as the hetero alt. pairing. BB being naturally built up and not rushed into a relationship, though still soft-canon locked in via Nora.

Are ALL ALIVE (funny how the straight white male characters get killed off?)

PoC characters:

Includes Marrow, Pietro, Joanna, Flynt, Yatsuhashi, Lie Ren, and Robyn as default heroes side

Includes Emerald having switched to the heroes side after having it foreshadowed in v3. Also possibly Elm and Harriet, depending on where they go in the future.

includes Sienna, who was admittedly actual wasted potential, being contrasted against Adam as the morally better version of violence in activism. A controlled violence actually giving a shit rights activist leader vs. a co-opting murderous abusive bloodthirsty psychopathic terrorist.

are easily the lesser in villain count vs. Caucasian villains.

So can the RWDE please stop trying to claim how RWBY isn’t better than anime/manga at least, but overall “isn’t progressive” in these areas.

Adam Taurus represents a very real element in real life regarding “Radical civil rights movements” ; extremism and co-opters; While the actual faunus rights aspect on its own is given a sympathetic light repeatedly. We also have Ilia Amitola, the female POC lesbian, get a redemption. While Adam Taurus, the cis white male edgelord? Is Evil and gets his death by double penetration at the hands of two lesbians. (Edit: yes, I know Blake is Bi, as is her VA. It was an expression explaining how cis white male “authority” individuals get emasculated)

The WF has a lot of references, not specifically the Black Panther one. Also the WF on its own is fine, its the version that gets corrupted by Adam’s psychotic co-opting terrorist ass that is the problem.

Reflective of reality where if any group for any cause crosses into violence that involves innocent bystanders; then they lose any credibility and are nothing more than terrorists. I don’t care what the cause is. Which is exactly what the WF under Adam presents; but is just 1 vein of it with Sienna’s vein existing, Ghira’s, and even Blake’s. Was it handled perfectly? No, you could have easily have shaved time from Adam to give to Sienna and had her live to continue. Personally I found Sienna to be the actual wasted potential, but EruptionFang naturally loves cis white male evil men as his favorite Meow Meows. Don’t even try to recommend a gay or bisexual dude to rwby critics, they’ll flip and call it pandering.

The MC’s aren’t remotely “paper thin”, nor secondaries. Heck the only ones that fit that bill are characters in the tertiary vein that are supposed to be that way. The “two traits” falls apart if one actually pays attention to the characters.

And most fixit fanfics not only sexualize the characters in a show with no fanservice...

Sadly they also overfocus on male characters and have their favorite male characters talk down the female main characters.

Robyn Hill represents the people standing up NOT against the military, but against fascism/totalitarianism. We see that for all the “good intentions” that Ironwood MAY have? It is always sabotaged by him. Ironwood backstabs Ozpin, brings an Army as a show of force, does multiple projects behind people’s backs, and yet displays more than few acts of hypocrisy. Volume 7 literally showed him acting as a dictator because he believed that only he knew the answer to everyone’s problems. Yet the consequences of HIS actions are what led to Atlas Downfall. Yang and Blake even tried to get Robyn to work with Ironwood and Robyn was literally willing to do so. Which of course pissed off Ironwood stans that anyone, especially a POC hero of the people, would stand against a Cis White Male Authority figure. The elections in V7 meant that anyone’s authority could be challenged by the people. Of COURSE Ironwood stans REFUSE to acknowledge the election part was good.

The attempt to balance idealism with realism is pretty interesting. What do you do against an enemy with an unlimited army, immortality, and agents who seek to turn everyone against each other? Do you submit to the “inevitable?” Or do you keep fighting to the end, instead prolonging the end?

You can think of this as having borrowed a theme or two from dark souls!

RWBY is at the very least leaps and bounds beyond most anime it's close in genre with. I remember seeing, partially in jest, the idea that RWBY has half the fanbase it does for being an action anime with a female case and no fanservice and I think it might almost literally be true.

It is depressingly hard to find a decent action show with a female cast that doesn't sexualize them in gross ways. Even shows I like on the whole end up doing that.

Of course, the points regarding love are helped by the fact that a good chunk of the female cast is front and center in the story. They’re largely in the driver seat and aren’t secondary to any male titular protagonist. Thus you don’t get cases where a girl on the main cast is there to be… the girl.

In any other story, Oscar and/or Jaune would be front and center. Heck, the three creators of RWBY are guys before their team grew so you’d think they’d “write what they know.” Yet they stick to their guns on having girls get shit done.

One Anime a person I know felt came close to this was, if you can believe it, Fairy Tail where Natsu might’ve been the prominent ass kicker but Erza is the one effectively leader the team, Wendy goes on an arc of learning to love herself and Lucy grows into the wizard that leads the charge against Acnologia.

Yet it sent mixed signals with how the girls (those of age) had designs that left little to the imagination. I can appreciate an artist honest in his horniness… but the Anime did something right when it came to Erza’s torture in Tartaros that helped sell the gravitas of the traumatic experience.

RWBY feels like the above but far more refined in execution. There’s a time and place for schlocky cheesecake but not when it clashes with the narrative and themes overall.

So tell me...without using Hbomberguys’ repeated false information about the “love triangle” or “self-insert” slander...how would YOU respectfully criticize RWBY? How would you claim to be “a critic” yet still encourage people to watch RWBY?

If you try to bring up Hbomb’s 2.5 hour hate video, then anyone who tries to claim that a video from 2 years ago no longer is relevant is just being hypocritical. (Looking at you, RWDE Apologist, you know who you are)

Oh, one more thing. RWBY seasons 1-3 were the weakest in terms of writing and animation. But even so, the fact of the matter is that anything that happened in those seasons are ignored by critics, theorists, and straight shippers.

Material Inspired from https://www.tumblr.com/crimsonxe/691425946111295488/since-i-ran-across-a-dumbass-earlier-that-tried-to

#rwby #ruby rose #yang xiao long #monty oum #rooster teeth #rwby is enjoyable #rwby is a good show #Blake Belladonna #weiss schnee #adam taurus #sienna khan #fairy tail #erza #erza scarlet #team rwby #Oscar Pine #james ironwood #ironwood

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antiloreolympus · 3 years ago

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10 Anti LO Asks

1. LO fans are like I can justify slavery, I love misogyny, Classism is cool, capitalism is tight, cheating and child abuse is a-ok, mass murder to "insignificant" people is okey-dokey, but I draw the LINE at incest! Like wait, back up a minute -

2. I haven't read LO past Ep 3 for obvious reasons but checked out the Ep 190 everyone was talking about and holy SHIT it's far worse than I could ever dream. The silly sweatdrop on Demeter when Eris brings up what she did looks like a COMEDIC scene. Eris gets stabbed at a lazy horizontal camera angle and then spends the entire time looking mildly weirded out. The stiff dialogue, stick figure poses, choppy transitions. Zeus's hilariously lopsided face when he speaks to Persephone. This is popular??

3. A really short and refreshing HxP WEBTOON I found some time ago that I'd like to recommend is called Awkward Hades. Not only is it pretty damn funny, but Persephone is snarky and cool-headed.

4. be nice to Disney's Hercules. at least it was fun and never said it was accurate, LO on the other hand is a pretentious slog that thinks it's better than all of the ancient poets combained and a feminist magnum opus :/

5. What I find so insulting about LO and "retellings" like it (and I love a happy HXP take! don't get me wrong!) is that they seem to think a woman's "happiness and empowerment" is via the ruin of a mother and daughter relationship and instead through marrying a man, which isn't exactly screaming "feminist' now is it. Why are so many of these "feminist" writers more concerned about the "redemption" of a literal king and do so via the ruin of the female relationship for his benefit?

6. What I find a bit funny is like ... what is Demeter supposed to do in these stories exactly? Because if she gives a damn about her daughter, she's considered "overbearing and abusive" (I'm begging HxP stans to never have kids) but let's say Demeter just doesn't care and never even checks up on her while Persephone is kidnapped, assaulted, etc, she'd then be deemed neglectful and abusive again! Like she can't win with these people no matter what she does.

7. Something that didn’t sit right with me was the reveal of Apollo being Zeus’ son. Beside being extremely obvious, I just didn’t understand why he did it at that moment. Like he doesn’t have persephone meaning he’s not powerful enough to defeat zeus. Now Zeus can connect the dots and see that Apollo wants to over throw him which he can take attention earlier ( which u can say he did by banishing persephone). Which makes me even wonder why he would do that? Am I like missing smth? It just feels kinda dumb which is honestly a problem I had with Apollo as an antagonist. To me The only thing making him a threat is because of what he did to persephone. I think RS wants for us to believe that hes some sort of master manipulator but he really isnt making him such a bad antagonist in my opinion and since I don’t personally care about the threat that PxH are facing Im honestly quite bored.

8. We deserve short kings, chubby kings, fat kings, lanky kings, androgynous kings, trans kings, bi kings, gay kings, kings of all shapes and sizes and creeds, and yet rachel only gives us the same bulky, cishet jokers :/

9. tbh big age gaps in fiction only really work when one is immortal/an immortal fantasy creature like a god and the other is mortal, but then the human is usually like 25+ and had a life well before them, so yeah the age gap is there but the maturity and experience gap really isnt, but in LO rachel purposely made sure they're not aligned in any way (age, power, experience, maturity, etc) that its like why would anyone not find it off putting?? he's always going to have power her no matter what??

10. the "wake up your sister" line can’t be eris though because she was kicked out of the house for trying to murder hera, so why would she still be living with them? it was probably going to be if rachel even remembered to name them) eileithyia since he's in that group of canon zeus/hera kids along with hebe and ares (which eris usually isnt). if i had to guess if shes introduced itll be solely to help get persephone pregnant since she's a childbirth goddess and hades needs babies :/

#anti lo #anti lore olympus #lore olympus critical #lo critical

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my-strange-attraction · 4 years ago

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If you used to use a label (specifically a microlabel but any label applies) and you no longer think it describes your experience the best way/ no longer think it’s necessary for you to use a label that describes such a specific experience even though it does still fit, I don’t know how to tell you this, but that label is still valid as a label.

I’ve been seeing (as has everyone else here, I think) a lot of panphobia lately by people who think it’s not necessary to specify pan as specific from bi, who think it’s biphobic when people feel the label fits them better, especially people who used to identify with pan because they thought it was the trans friendly version of bi.

This is also, I think, the root of a lot of the ace disc horse that happened a few years back (I wasn’t on here yet but I’ve heard Stories) and a lot of the hate on microlabels in general. People who have in the past used more specific, usually microlabels, have “seen the light” and now “realize” that it’s -phobic of the existing macrolabels for microlabels to even exist as labels that people use.

Today, for example, I saw a post. The post that prompted this one. It was insisting that it’s “ok to just be bisexual, good in fact” and while I agree with that as a statement, the motivation was aphobic. They were hating on labels like demi and sapiosexual in the tags and they, obviously, got some anon backlash. On their blog, they had a picture of a demi pride shirt with a cute little saying and under it they said* “I wore this every other day in middle school, trust me I’m allowed to talk about this”

A few months back I saw something similar, a TikTok with a person in it who was listing off all these microlabels that they used to use vs. the macrolabels they use now, making fun of the existence of microlabels and people who use them, essentially. Saying microlabel users are naive and there’s no reason to use microlabels when the big umbrella labels are there for us.

And I understand, I do. As you get further along in your queer journey, the “baby gay” does start to wear off a bit. You stop feeling the need to label the more specific nuances of your identity, or you get tired of trying to pin them down. It’s natural for something like that to happen.

But weren’t the microlabels helpful in getting you to this point? Didn’t it bring you some comfort to be part so so many smaller nuanced communities? Did you or did you not at one point feel it was the best way you could describe yourself with the vocabulary you were given and the understanding you had at the time?

I was bicurious before I was ever ace. Then I was panromantic, demiromantic, bellusromantic, cupioromantic, arospec, then aro, then finally loveless aro after some playing around with qprs. I was genderqueer, then genderfae, then girlflux, agender, genderfluid. I’ve settled back on genderqueer for now but who knows right?

I’ve jumped a bit all over the place in this post, but I want to come back to this as my final point: labels cannot be queerphobic. That’s not how any of this works. People get too caught up in labels, yes, and when you’re younger, generally, you get really caught up in finding just the right one. In the end, maybe you are still demi but bi feels right to you. Maybe I’m still everything I have been or maybe I’m none of it at all. Labels are there to help the people who they describe. If they don’t describe you, they’re not attacking what you are, it’s just a different experience than yours, or maybe the same experience but just for a different person, someone who prefers to be more specific with their labels.

Does it really hurt so much just to live and let live?

#labels #queer #brief talk of panphobia #brief talk of aphobia #microlabels #another one of cloudy's essay posts #cloudy rambles

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drarrily-we-row-along · 4 years ago

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Pride

Dear nonnie who requested that I write something for Pride month, I'm so, so sorry! Somehow this got lost in my inbox and I didn't see it until I started working on 'Bargain' this afternoon. Please accept this humble ficlet and my deepest apologies. <3

I'm kind of nervous about this one. I know coming out is a deeply personal experience and I'm not sure I wrote it terribly well. Please know that you are loved, valued, cherished, and accepted just as you are. I know for many people the struggle is so much greater than what I wrote in this ficlet. You are all amazing. <3

cw: Internalized homophobia, homophobic parents (happy ending)

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June 12, 1999

"Hey!" Harry said, bursting into Draco's room like it was his own.

Draco looked up from the essay he was writing, the last one he needed to finish for his eighth year at Hogwarts. "Hi," he replied and he couldn't help but admire the dimple that stood out on Harry's cheek as he smiled at him.

"Some of us are heading down to Hogsmeade for the pride celebration they're having there tonight," Harry said. "Did you want to come?"

His brow furrowed, "Pride? Like house pride?"

Harry laughed but not unkindly like it would have been prior to this year, "No, like gay pride. It's to celebrate people who are lgbtq+, to affirm their dignity and worth as human beings, you know?"

Draco felt his cheeks flushing hot, "I'm not," he managed through the way it felt like someone had closed off his airway, shaking his head, "I'm not gay!"

"Err," Harry said, scratching the back of his neck, "Right, I wasn't trying to imply anything. Just," he shrugged, "I think I'm bi, and there's GInny and Luna," he continued, stumbling over his words.

"But I'm not!" he protested

"Right," Harry repeated, brow furrowing, "We just thought..." he trailed off, "Ron, who's like as straight as they come is coming too, to show his support."

"I can't," Draco said. "I've got all this work to do, I just-"

"It's okay," Harry said, shaking his head and holding out a hand, "Totally fine, sorry to have bothered you," he added as he quickly fled the room before Draco could say anything else.

(Continue reading below the cut)

He stared after him, still feeling panicked and full of regret at the same time.

Malfoys aren't gay. Malfoys aren't gay. Malfoys aren't gay.

And in spite of the fact that he'd told Harry he needed to finish his essay, he spent the rest of the night trying to get his heart to slow down, his breathing to come easier, and his mind to stop spinning.

The essay remained untouched.

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June 9, 2000

Draco was having murderous thoughts.

They had a tradition on Fridays that everyone who lived in Grimmauld sat down together for dinner and if you were dating someone, you were allowed to bring them home with you for dinner. Draco never brought anyone home because the women he dated were so unattractive to him that he just couldn't bring himself to see them for more than a date or two.

Harry, on the other hand was always bringing someone home. He had men and women there with him every week. Usually, it was a different person every week and that didn't bother Draco all that much. But he'd been seeing Conor for six weeks now and the way the other man was always clinging to Harry, always laughing and batting his eyelashes at him; it made Draco feel ready to kill him.

"So I was thinking," Harry said when there was a lull in the conversation, "The Leaky is having a Pride Night celebration tomorrow. Maybe we should all go together?" he asked hopefully.

There were murmurs of approval all around the table and Draco dropped his gaze to his plate, his palms started to itch. Malfoys aren't gay. Malfoys aren't gay.

"What about you, Draco?" Conor asked, all toothy smiles as he rested his arm around Harry's shoulders.

He couldn't help but look over at Harry who was suddenly watching him in that way that made him feel like he was being held under a magnifying glass. People thought that Harry was oblivious but Draco knew they were wrong. Harry knew everything about Draco just from watching him.

Draco swallowed, "Yeah," he managed. "Yeah. I can come for a bit."

Harry smiled at him then, soft and sweet, his dimples showing, "Yeah?" he asked.

And Draco was fairly certain there was nothing he could have said no to when Harry asked like that, so he nodded.

"Great!" Conor enthused and the moment dissipated like fog in the sun. "It'll be so fun to have all of your friends there, babe."

"Err," Harry said, looking over at Conor, "Yeah. Totally." Then he turned back to look at Draco once more, "Yeah," he said again.

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June 10, 2000

Draco had made a mistake.

Malfoys aren't gay. Malfoys aren't gay. Malfoys aren't gay.

"Hey!" Harry said, appearing out of nowhere and wrapping an arm around Draco, "I'm so glad you're here."

"Me too," he lied.

"Come on," Harry said, "Let me introduce you to some people."

Draco spent the next hour meeting all sorts of people, he listened to people telling their stories, people who were claiming their own lives and destinies, and all he could feel was loss.

Every person he listened to felt like another stone tied around his neck, their joy and freedom made him feel even more trapped. Harry went to fetch drinks as he listened to a trans woman named Jocelyn talking about how difficult it had been to come out to her family. And it was the final straw, he lost it. Tears slipped from his eyes and before he could do anything, she was hugging him, "We've all been where you are," she whispered.

He shook his head and pulled back, "I'm not-" he covered his mouth, he couldn't quite force out the lie.

She nodded knowingly, "We've all been there, too."

"I've got to go," he managed, rising on shaking legs and making his way out of the bar as quickly as he could.

When he got outside he bent over, resting his hands on his knees and trying to catch his breath.

"Draco!" he heard as the door opened and he wasn't ready for this.

"Don't," he said, standing up and holding out his hands to stop Harry from coming any closer.

"What's wrong?" Harry asked, eyebrows furrowing in concern and Draco hated it.

"Malfoys aren't gay!" he exploded.

"What?" Harry asked as though his words hadn't been perfectly clear.

"Malfoys aren't gay," he repeated.

Harry tilted his head at him, "Alright."

"So you can stop this," he said, gesturing at the door. "I don't need help coming out. I'm not gay," he spat.

"I'm not trying to help you come out," Harry said, his voice measured and calm in a way that told Draco just how hard he was working at not getting emotional. "I just wanted to introduce you to-"

"Bull shit," he hissed. "Every person you 'introduced me to' told me about coming out."

"It's Pride, Draco. They're," he stopped and corrected himself, "We're celebrating coming out. We're celebrating not hiding who we are anymore. If you think it's about you, well," he shrugged a shoulder, "You probably have more in common with us than you want to admit."

"I'm not gay!" he shouted, shoving Harry away from him.

There was a flash of hurt across Harry's face before he put his hands on his hips and that fire that Draco so remembered from Hogwarts filled his eyes. "No one said you were!" Harry shouted back. "And if you were so afraid of having people think you are, why did you even come in the first place?"

"I guess I shouldn't have."

Harry took a step back away from him, shaking his head, "I guess not." He turned on his heel and stalked back into the bar, leaving Draco standing on the sidewalk, shaking as the adrenaline flooded through him.

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June 11, 2000

It wasn't quite morning when Draco heard a soft knock at his door.

With no small amount of effort, he reached for his wand and cast a spell to open it. Harry was standing in the doorway and Draco huffed, "I've already packed," he said. "I'll leave in the morning."

"What?" Harry asked, sounding panicked, "No!" he said, stepping across the threshold of Draco's room and moving to the chair across from Draco's bed. "No," he repeated. "Draco, please don't leave. I'm sorry. Alright?" Harry said. "I shouldn't-"

"You're sorry?" Draco asked, sitting up and staring at the other boy, "No, I'm sorry," he said, quickly. "I was awful and I didn't le-"

"No," Harry said, shaking his head, "It's my fault. I shouldn't-"

"I'm gay," Draco blurted and then realized what he'd just admitted. He covered his mouth with his hand and his eyes filled with tears.

"Hey," Harry whispered, climbing onto the bed next to him and pulling Draco into his arms, "It's okay."

Draco shook his head but couldn't manage any words around the sob that was choking him.

"It's okay," Harry soothed, stroking his fingers through Draco's hair and rocking him. "I've got you," he breathed. "You're safe," he said, "You're safe," he repeated. "You're loved and you're accepted," he told him, "I've got you."

Draco sobbed, all of the fear, and the guilt, and the shame was built up high in his chest and he felt like he couldn't breathe around it.

"Okay," Harry soothed, "Slow breaths with me, yeah? Just try to match your breathing to mine," he said, his hand rubbing soothingly over Draco's back.

He sucked in a deep, gasping breath that burned all the way down into his lungs.

"That's it," Harry encouraged, "You're alright."

He continued breathing slowly and Draco tried to mirror it until his sobbing was just the occasional hiccup and the tears were just trickling out of his eyes.

"Okay," Harry breathed. "Better?"

Draco nodded and pulled back, "Sorry," he murmured, then he caught sight of Harry's shirt covered in tears and snot and wished that the earth would open up and swallow him, "Salazar, I'm sorry," he said, reaching for his wand and casting a hasty drying charm followed by a cleaning charm.

"It's fine," Harry said, reaching out to still Draco's motions. "It's fine," he repeated. "Look, I didn't mean to pressure you into coming out," he said. "I won't tell anyone," he added hastily.

He shook his head, "It's eating me up inside." Draco wiped the tears off his face, "I'm going to die alone."

"Don't say that," Harry said.

"Well it's true!" he said, "What am I supposed to tell my parents?"

Harry took his hand, "It's up to you," he said softly. "I won't pretend to understand the challenges you're facing. My parents are dead."

"Oh, thanks. Play the dead parent card."

Harry huffed a laugh, "Shut up. I'm trying to say that I can't imagine how difficult this is for you. It's not an easy decision and I want you to know that I am here for you, that I support you, no matter what."

His eyes filled with tears and he let out a groan, "Stop it."

The other boy wrapped his arms around him, "No."

"What is this?" he asked, from where his face was buried in Harry's neck.

"Affection."

"Disgusting," he murmured.

"Want me to stop?"

He shook his head because when Harry wasn't hugging him everything felt a little too big and a little too close.

And he had no idea what he was going to do but when Harry was holding him it didn't seem quite so scary.

-------------

A few weeks later, he and Harry had started dating in secret. Harry was very sweet, very patient as Draco struggled against years of deeply ingrained negative thoughts. Draco still felt like he was a bit of a burden but Harry always insisted he wasn't.

Just over a month after that, Hermione had figured it out on her own, Pansy had tricked him into confessing, and Ron had walked in on the two of them making out on Harry's bed.

And the world didn't end.

Slowly, over the course of the next seven months, they told all of their friends. Everyone was supportive. Everyone was happy for them, happy for him that he'd decided to walk in the truth.

Truth be told, he was happy too. His anxiety still got the worst of him some days and his fear was sometimes bigger than anything else but he got through those days and those days slowly became fewer and fewer.

He got comfortable with Harry; comfortable holding hands, comfortable with casual kisses, comfortable with bickering that turned into flirting, just comfortable in his skin.

One chilly March morning, he and Harry were out to breakfast and they were laughing and teasing each other, like they always did and Draco was happy all the way down to his toes.

He looked across the table at Harry, "You've got whipped cream on your mouth," he laughed.

Harry stuck his tongue out and missed completely.

"Here," he said with a laugh, "Let me," he added as he grabbed the front of Harry's jumper and pulled him close so he could kiss it off his grinning face.

He was pulling back to check that he'd gotten it all when he heard a gasp that he would have recognized anywhere. Draco would never be quite sure what his face and body language were saying at that moment but Harry was instantly on alert, scanning the room for danger. "Shit," he breathed.

"Draco Lucius Malfoy," his mother hissed. "What in Merlin's name do you think you are doing."

"Don't make a scene, mother," he said and even he was surprised at how calm the words came out.

"I don't think that I am the one making a scene, Draco."

"Mrs. Malfoy," Harry said, "Why don't we go somewhere more private for this conversation."

"Oh no," she said, "I don't think there is any conversation to be had. Draco, we'll be leaving. Right this instant."

Draco looked at her, at the woman who had dried his tears, who had sacrificed for him, who had given him life and his heart yearned for her. He longed to reach out and hold her hand like he had when he was young, to let her reassure him that everything would be alright. And it could be. He knew if he walked away with her today, he'd go back to living the life that had been planned for him.

But then he looked at Harry and all he could see was freedom. His heart expanded as he remembered the late nights talking over a bottle of wine, the early mornings as the sun filtered in through Harry's window and painted him golden. He remembered the cuddles on the couch and the evenings spent cooking dinner together. And he knew that he could never go back. He could never live a life of duty and obligation knowing that this one was possible.

"I love you," he said softly as he stared at Harry.

The other man blinked before his mouth curved up in a grin, his dimples showing, "I love you, too."

He reached for Harry's hand to ground himself as he turned to his mother, "You know that I love you," he said to her, "but I can't live a lie. I can't be the boy that you wanted."

"Draco you are being ridiculous."

"Maybe," he replied. "But I never knew what it was like to be free before these past few months with Harry and I won't give them back."

She cast a belated muffliato. "There are plenty of Purebloods who are gay, Draco," she said, keeping her voice low, "You still have your obligation to have a pureblood heir. Marry a nice girl and take a lover if you must, but you will continue your bloodline."

He laughed, it sounded a bit hysterical even to his own ears. "Do you hear yourself?" he asked. "The Malfoy line can die with me. I'm not marrying some woman just to please you."

"Draco-"

"No," he said sharply. "No. I can't do this, mother. I can't be what you want me to be. I'm done." He shook his head, "You can accept this, accept me or not. Either way I am done."

She straightened her spine and smoothed the emotions from her features and Draco knew the decision she had made before she started speaking. He clasped Harry's hand tighter in his. "Very well, then," she said. "Good day," she murmured before she walked away without a backward glance.

They sat in silence for a moment before Harry asked, "Are you alright?"

"I don't know."

"What can I do?" he murmured, squeezing Draco's hand again.

"Can we go home?"

Harry nodded, "Yeah, love. Of course."

He apparated them back and they spend the afternoon cocooned in Harry's room until their friends came to find them for dinner.

---------------

June 9, 2001

This year it's Draco who asked about going to the bar to celebrate Pride.

Harry smiled and pulled him in for a long kiss before nodding and getting dressed.

When they arrived, Draco slipped his fingers through Harry's holding his hand tightly; proud of Harry, proud of how far they've come, and proud of himself for how much he's grown and how brave he's become.

Several of the people he'd met the year before remembered him and are quick to congratulate him and welcome him again. The night was full of music and dancing, of listening to stories and starting to tell his own, it's everything Harry had made it sound like.

And he thought he might be happy, in spite of that little bit of his heart that always ached for his parents.

They're about to head up for another round of drinks when Harry tugged on his hand. "Look," he murmured, pointing to the door.

Draco followed his pointing and saw that there was a woman standing in the door who looked remarkably like his mother. "What?" he managed.

But Harry was already waving to her and nudging Draco forward.

"What?" he repeated when he was standing in front of her.

Without a word she wrapped her arms around him, enfolding him in the comforting feel and scent of his childhood.

"Mummy?" he whispered.

"Yes, darling," she replied, voice equally thick with tears.

Harry cleared his throat, "I'll fetch us some drinks. What can I get you Narcissa?" he asked.

"Whiskey neat," she replied without releasing her hold on Draco.

He pulled back after one more moment, "What are you doing here?"

"Where else could I be?" she asked. "When we didn't see you for your birthday last week," she shook her head. "Well, I knew that I was making a mistake."

Harry returned handing them their drinks and nodding toward a table nearby.

They headed over and she sat next to Draco, "You're my child, Draco," she said. "And I love you more than you can imagine."

He nodded once but didn't say anything. This sounded too much like the start to one of the 'I love you and if you love me, this is how you should act' talks.

"Fortunately, your Mr. Potter has sent quite regular correspondence."

"What?" Draco said, whipping his head around to look at Harry.

He nodded once but before Draco could question him his mother continued.

"He invited me to come tonight," she continued, "To support you. And I've missed so much already, how could I say no?"

"This isn't a phase," he said. "I'm not going to change my mind or be cured one day."

She nodded, "I know."

"Does father?"

She hummed, "We're getting there." She took his hand in her's, "For now, won't you introduce me to some of your new friends?"

--------

Two years later, when he and Harry got married, both of his parents were there, sitting right in the front row and cheering them on.

---------

Thanks for the prompt! I don't quite know what you were hoping for so I hope this is okay! <3

#100 drarry drabbles in 100 days #pride #drarry #drarry ficlet #drarry drabbles #love #learning to love yourself #cw:internalized homophobia #cw:homophobic parents #happy ending #but read with care if you have triggers related to internalized homophobia or homophobic parents #you are loved-valued-and accepted

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unrestedjade · 4 years ago

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Baseless Ferengi headcanons no one asked for and that get increasingly queer-navel-gazing and self indulgent because the horrible space goblins have consumed my brain:

- Mobile ears, because if hearing is so well developed and important to them they should be able to aim those big stupid radar dishes. Also because then they can emote with them and that's cute. THE AESTHETIC IS PARAMOUNT.

- Since they canonically sharpen their teeth with chew sticks and sharpeners, their teeth must grow continuously. So I submit: subcultures that let certain teeth grow out as a fashion/political statement. Ferengi punks and anarchists with 5" tusks. Ferengi with all their teeth filed flat (mom and dad HATE it).

- Corollary to the above, most of their teeth are crooked. At the least, they don't share our fetish for straight teeth. What if their teeth are deciduous, and there's no point in trying to force them into perfect alignment, since they'll just fall out and get replaced? So like, sharks but their teeth can also grow longer with no limit. WHAT HAST EVOLUTION WROUGHT ON FERENGINAR :V

- Parents nagging their kids to sharpen their teeth "or they'll grow up into your brain and you'll die :)"

- Personal space? Don't know her.

Okay I need a cut because there's too many now. WHOLE SOCIETY OF GAY HOMOPHOBIC UNCLES AND AUNTS GO I HAVE A PROBLEM

- I can't remember who on here put forth the idea of them having retractable claws but Yes. :3

- Pushing back against the worst canon episode a bit but: relative ear size being the only obvious sexually dimorphic trait, and even that having enough of a gray area that the only way to be 100% sure you're talking to a male or female Ferengi is if you do a blood test. Unless they're intersex! *shrug emoji*

- This is why they're so fanatical about gender conformity and their Victorian "separate spheres" attitude to men and women's roles. Capitalist patriarchy is fragile! And as artificial to Ferengi as it ever was to Humans! (self-indulgenceeeee about gender shiiiiit)

- You know how with domesticated rabbits, the rabbit getting groomed and paid attention to is the boss? Yeah. Go ahead and paint your bestie's nails, just don't be surprised if she cops a little bit of an attitude with you from then on.

- Their fight/flight/freeze/fawn instincts skew heavily toward the last three, and what a lot of other species read as annoying sucking up is the Ferengi in question feeling anxious and unsafe. Especially if they don't feel integrated into the group. Even being at the bottom of the pecking order is better than not being in the flock at all.

- If they DO opt for fight, it's ugly and typically their last resort. Bites or scratches will get infected without intervention-- microbes that their immune system can handle could cause big trouble for aliens. You might wanna check for full or partial teeth that break off and get lodged in the wound, too.

- Too many of these are tooth related but I don't care. :B More teeth stuff: you know what else has teeth that grow constantly? Puffer fish. Likewise, Ferengi can chew up mollusk shells as easy as potato chips, and they need the minerals for their teeth. (Imagine grandpa Sisko offering Nog a crayfish for the first time and watching as he just...pops the whole damn thing in his mouth and crunches away...)

- Their staple foods seem to be grubs and other arthropods, high in protein and fat. I've unilaterally decided their cuisine also involves a lot of edible fungi, ferns, plant shoots and seeds. Gotta get those vitamins. Overall flavor profile leaning toward umami, vegetal, and fresh herbs, and pretty mild (or "delicate" if you wanna be snooty about it, which a Ferengi probably would let's be real).

- Not much sugary food. I'm basing this solely on Quark's aversion to root beer as "cloying". Which could definitely just be his personal preference, but most of the people I hear hating on root beer cite the actual sassafras/sarsaparilla flavor (saying it tastes like medicine) not the sweetness. Nog might be the weirdo outlier for being able to enjoy it.

- Their home planet isn't bright and sunny, so their eyes are better at discerning shades of gray in low light conditions, with relatively weak color vision. Which could explain why they dress Like That.

- Conversely, human music has a reputation for stinking on ice because a lot of it is juuuuust lightly dissonant or out of tune because we can't pick up flaws that small. Ferengi can, and it drives them up the *wall*.

- Music? So many different kinds. Traditionally, maybe lots of percussion and winds, and water as a common component of many instruments to alter pitch or tone. Polyphony out the ass. Some of the modern stuff is an impenetrable wall of sound if you're not a species with a lot of brain real estate devoted to processing sounds. Pick out one melody to follow at a time.

- Yes, back to teeth again I'm sorry. It's a sickness. At some point in their history, pre-chewing food was just something you did for your baby or great grandma as a matter of necessity. Possibly your baby gets an important boost to their immune system and gut biome from your spit. At some point takes on a more formal intimacy aspect and gradually drifted from something all adults and older kids do to something only women do. Your husband and older kids have perfectly functional teeth, but you love them, right? =_= (Think old memes about husbands being useless in the kitchen if little wifey isn't there to cook, but even more ridiculous. Ishka was right about everything but especially this. Thank you for making your family chew their own food, Ishka. Not all heroes wear capes. Or anything!)

- How did they get started on the whole men: clothed vs women: unclothed nonsense? My equally stupid idea: men just get cold easier. Those huge ears dissipate a ton of body heat. Cue Ferengi cliches like "jeez, we could be standing on the surface of the sun and my husband would put on another layer." At some point, again, this got codified and pushed to ridiculous extremes in the name of controlling women and keeping everyone in their assigned box, to the point that women just have to shiver if they really are too cold and men have to pass out from heat stroke if the alternative is going shirtless, because That Would Be Inappropriate.

- Marriages default to five years, but they're also the only avenue for women to have their own household or any stability. Plus their religion places no emphasis on purity save for pure adherence to the free market and the RoA. So, curveball to the rest of their patriarchal bullshit: female virginity isn't a concern in the least. Bring it up and they'll rightly side-eye you.

- Family law is absolutely bonkers and lawyers that specialize in it make BANK. I feel like custody would default to the father usually but oh wait, the maternal grandfather has a legal stake in this, too, and your next father-in-law is asking HOW many kids are you dragging into my daughter's house, etc etc. Growing up with a full sibling is way rarer than growing up with half or stepsiblings, since it usually takes both men and women two or three tries to find someone they vibe with. (Not love, unless you're super cringe.)

- A misogynistic society is a homophobic society. Imo those flavors of shittiness just come in pairs. Homosexual behaviors are fine within certain parameters (aka "always have sex with the boss") but not on your own terms. To add spice, bisexuality is their most common mode (because I'm bi and these are my hcs for my fics I'm not writing, so there), but capitalism demands fresh grist for the mill so you better get het-married and pop out some kids you lowly peons. You have a choice so make the proper one. :)

- Corollary to the above, that doesn't keep all kinds of illicit "we're just friends with quid-pro-quo benefits for realsies" affairs of every stripe and every gender from going on everywhere. Many Ferengi have a lightbulb moment somewhere in early adulthood when they figure out their dad's business partner or the "auntie" who visited their mom every month had a little more going on.

- Plus there's way more gender non-conformity and varying degrees of trans-ing than the powers that be have a handle on. Pel isn't unique, even if most would have to somehow make it out into space to be able to thrive.

Damn a lot of these are just my personal bugbears plus THE GILDED AGE BUT WITH HAIRLESS SPACE RODENTS ain't they

- Women can't earn profit, okay. But lending or "lending" things to each other isn't commerce, riiiiiiight? To be assigned female is to master navigating a vast, dizzying barter/gift economy. Smart boys and men leverage this, too, and there are splinter sects that view this as the purest expression of the Great Material Continuum.

- Of course plenty of women make profit anyway, and just do their bast to dodge the FCA. The tough thing about insisting on using latinum as currency is that cash can be so hard to track, you know?

- Because of the RoA, guys are discouraged from doing favors or giving gifts without setting clear expectation of getting some return on investment. This can twist into an expression of friendship (and of course women do it too), and the ledger will keep cycling between debit and credit among friends for decades. A common mistake aliens make is to tell them recompense isn't needed without explaining why, or return their favor or present with something that zeroes out the debt. The Ferengi will assume you want to break off the friendship. (I cribbed this from dim memories of an African studies course I took in 2007 and whose textbook I know I still have but I can't frigging find it...)

- Flirting, they do a lot of it for a lot of reasons. Roddenberry made it clear that they're just straight up pretty horny, but there's no reason it can't pull double duty for building alliances with other people, smoothing over feuds or disagreements, or cementing friendships. Ferengi who are ace and/or sex-repulsed are possibly viewed similar to the way we'd view someone who's "not a hugger/not big on touching" and if they flirt just don't get offended if it doesn't go any further; aro Ferengi don't garner much comment aside from an occasional "wow how badass, never falling in love with anyone."

- where to even start on making sense of the Blessed Exchequer??? Like seriously, what is this literal prosperity gospel insanity, I need to force myself to re-read Rand and like, some Milton Friedman for this shit. Help.

- fuck I'm probably going to actually do that, RIP me...

#ds9 #star trek #meta #ferengi #i love them Too Much help #reliving my brief libertarian phase from high school from the opposite direction #my heart wants to make them simultaneously as queer and as repressed as possible #i didn't even make it to the goddamned blessed exchequer my head is too full #i will find beauty in this vulgarity if it kills me #this is too long #why did i spend my time this way

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fandomshatelgbtqpeople · 4 years ago

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Let’s talk coding

Coding is a subtextual portrayal of a character having a certain identity, where that identity isn’t explicitly stated in canon.

Google Ngram has the term, “queercoding” existing in an academic context as far back as 1982. Characters can also be coded as having certain disabilities, genders, races, ethnicities, religions, etc. depending on the circumstances.

Here are some characters lots of people think are queercoded:

From left to right: Prince Wu (LoK), Carol Danvers and Maria Rambeau (MCU), Sabine Wren (Star Wars: Rebels), Elsa (Frozen), Miles Morales (Into the Spider Verse).

It’s important to note that many queercoded characters are equally coded as multiple queer identities. A character might be coded as gay, bi, ace, aro, and trans all at the same time. In fact, those are all interpretations I’ve seen for Elsa, and they are all equally valid. That’s why the term is queercoding. “Gaycoding” was popularized a few years ago by exclusionists who wanted to accuse ace and, to a lesser extent, bi people of “stealing gay rep” when they headcanoned queercoded characters as ace or bi. "Gaycoding” shouldn’t be used because it’s based in exclusion and is usually incredibly reductive anyway.

Here are some characters who are coded in other ways:

From left to right: Temperance Brennan (Bones, coded as autistic), Korra (LoK, coded as having PTSD), Garnet (Steven Universe, coded as Black), L3 (Solo: A Star Wars Story, coded as female), Superman (DC Comics, coded as Jewish). All of these characters were intentionally coded--and some of them are great examples of how intentional coding can still be handled really poorly.

Coding has to be two things: (1) recognizable to the target group and (2) not precluded by anything in canon.

That means for a character to be queercoded, they have to be recognizable as queer by queer people. For a character to be autistic coded, they have to be recognizable as autistic to autistic people. For a character to be coded as Jewish, they have to be recognizable as Jewish by Jewish people. Etc. Coding isn’t something for the outgroup to decide. It doesn’t matter how many cis straight people read a character as queer. If queer people don’t read them as queer, they’re not queercoded.

While having said “I’m straight” in canon doesn’t preclude a character from being queercoded because claiming to be straight doesn’t preclude a person from being queer, being canonically an adult does preclude a character from being coded as an adolescent because you can’t be both (no, neither Kyl0 Ren nor Entrapta were adolescent-coded). It also means that a character who’s canonically a human man can’t be femme-coded (sorry again, kyl0-ben stans). Male characters can be femme, but that’s not coding and comes down to gender presentation.

Coding can result from multiple things, including but not limited to:

Accident (more common for queercoding than many other types of coding)

Writers trying to slip representation under the radar

Writers wanting to give non-human characters or characters in a secondary world setting real world identities (unlikely for queercoding but common for other types of coding)

Bigotry against the identity being coded

Queercoding can be homophobic when a character is intentionally queercoded and then mistreated or villainized, or when it’s done in order to queerbait the audience. Sometimes a piece of media can become homophobic when a creator realizes they’ve accidentally queercoded a character they intended to be straight and reacts badly. But queercoding isn’t inherently homophobic. In particular, reason #2 was especially common prior to about 2010 and was often done by queer creators themselves. Not all queercoding is queerbaiting. Queerbaiting requires an intent to mislead the audience.

Finally, coding is subjective. That means that not everyone will agree on which characters are queercoded. Not everyone will agree in their interpretations of which queer identity(ies) a queercoded character has. There’s nothing wrong with that. People have different experiences that lead them to relate to different characters and that lead them to relate to the same characters in different ways. It’s perfectly okay to disagree about queercoding. Unless a creator comes out and says “yes, I intentionally coded X character in Y way,” no one is right or wrong.

#mod k #queercoding

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milf-harrington · 3 years ago

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okay bc i love tay @babydotcom and also bc i love talking about my original work im gonna talk about my books!!

so at the moment, im writing 2 of them! one of them is Nobodies Hero, a fantasy tale that is mostly narrated by a grouchy side-character and i have a sideblog that's basically a collection of my world building from the past 5 years and any posts i see that fit the characters or the world (@nobodieshero-lore)

the other is much newer (started maybe a month and a half ago) and is more of an urban fantasy called Arson: and other crimes which is basically going to follow the main cast through all the supernatural shenanigans and self growth they go through.

at the moment Arson is more of a concept? i have yet to figure out an actual plot, i've actually been trying a new approach to writing where i build all the characters first! most of my notes for Arson are just short scene snippets and dialogue, such as:

Time seemed to slow as the siren exploded from the flaming water, droplets of fire raining down around her as she reached out her webbed claws and exposed those horrifying needle-like teeth in a shrill scream of rage. It was awesome and terrifying, and Jai was forced to admit that maybe this time they wouldn’t be so lucky, maybe this time he was going down in a blaze of fish-scented glory. And then the scream was cut off as, with a sudden hollow sounding thwack, the siren’s head snapped to the side, the rest of her body thrown off course as she veered to the left and landed with a wet smack against the cement, a trail of slimy fire left in her wake. Kauri was standing in front of him with a thick metal pipe held tightly in their hands, hair a mess of thorns and ash as their shoulders heaved with each angry breath. Flickering orange light danced across their skin, the flames reflected in the dryads furious eyes as a new vine of thorns curled past their cheek. If someone had put a gun to his head, Jai may have been able to admit that he'd fallen in love right then, but there was no gun and no questioning so Jai shoved that shit deep down where he'd never find it.

There are currently 8 characters official characters, but i intend to make more bc 2 out of the 8 are mostly side characters/helpers.

uh we've got:

Jai, who is the quiet but stern researcher teaching himself magic; he mostly communicates through facial expressions and single sentences but if you get him started on whatever he's researching he can go on for ages (trans + gay)

Kauri, who is a dryad with a short temper. they're loud and passionate and also end up naked a lot because the concept of clothing makes no sense to them. my favourite thing about kauri is honestly their hair bc they've got vines that also grow from their scalp, and they grow/bloom/wild/grow thorns depending on their mood (as shown in the above snippet) (nonbinary)

Orli, who's a member of a werewolf pack. not everyone gets the lycanthrope gene, but she's just as snarly and protective as the rest of them. she works as a barista in her families cafe and she's got killer first aid skills. (asexual + lesbian)

Vince, who is Orli's older brother and did get the lycanthrope gene. he's just neat, i love him. he's usually the get away driver, or he'll bring them snacks and shit when they're on big research binges because he cares about them. he's basically a big ol' puppy (trans + bi)

[UNNAMED], who is a telepath with a weird name. her parents gave her up when she was young due to her being a "difficult and creepy child" and she kinda floated through different foster homes before she was tracked down and adopted by her uncle. She's funny and calculating, and in most situations will watch other people to figure out the best outcome for herself. she's almost always wearing a pair of headphones her uncle gave her that are warded against outside sound, so she can listen to music and block out everyone's thoughts. (lesbian)

Seftan, who's unnamed's weird but cool uncle. he's slept his way through half a bestiary and so is generally unphased by most things. he has 2 dogs and lives in a cute little 2-storey apartment/flat thing. he's either magic or knows a magic user bc he's got a lot of interesting books and wards set up and he also squints at Jai a lot. he calls unnamed a series of nicknames which are: nosy-nancy, no-name nancy, miss no-name, or just 'nancy' (inspired by nancy drew) (an opportunist)

Beau, who is a ghost from a circus! he died in the 1890's after getting stabbed to death in an argument with a sword-swallower, and is now stuck on the mortal plane bc he never got to finish his contortionist act. he's tied to a music box and gets handed around to different antique and thrift shops which is how he ends up w the rest of them.

Milo, who is possessed by an Ancient Creature and is therefore unable to stay dead. he has pretty yellow eyes, a hankering for roadkill and a whole other form that he can shift into. he's loyal as hell and genuinely doesn't see what's wrong with dying for someone he cares about, he's also mentally ill bc i think anyone would be if they were possessed and also kept dying. (demi + bi)

i think my favourite thing about Arson is that it's gonna be kind-of-not-really written like a survival guide or a diary? i don't know how to explain it properly but, like, there's gonna be random pages with tips for 'those in danger of kidnapping' or first aid or an info page on the monster/threat they're facing etc

but there's also gonna be other stuff like unnamed's playlists or what Kauri's moods are depending on their vines, or a steadily updated list of weird places Jai has been found sleeping.

uhh that's all i've really got so far without just slapping all my notes into a post so yeah! if you have any questions (or ideas?) please feel free to ask/share bc it can help with my creative process.

#long post #original work #my books #my original work #my writing #arson: and other crimes #not atla #captain speaks

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roublardise · 4 years ago

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my "Crowley isn't attracted to women" take

for @spnprideweek - day 2 - mlm

cw: dicussion of homophobia & transphobia all in all I wanted to highlight how canon gay Crowley is bc I love him 💕 thank u spn for Crowley even tho he deserved better

in the last weeks I've realized there's a huuge consensus in the fandom for pansexual Crowley. if you're pan or not and wanna hc Crowley as pan, power to you! but what's bothering me is the non-discussion of it all. the way it seems obvious for everyone. whereas, to me, Crowley has been canonically gay all this time.....

disclaimer: I'm aware Mark Sheppard alledgely said he saw Crowley as pansexual, however I can't even take these words for canon without context. Especially not when a year later he'd say Crowley's sexuality didn't matter. The way Mark Sheppard talks about characters' sexuality is more a "why are people making a big deal let them be" than "the character doesn't care." Moreover, actors pov can't be taken as canon imo. Jensen Ackles thought Dean straight for so long when Dean's been bi all this time as well. Sometimes actors are biased by their own experiences & stereotypes!

disclaimer #2: on god I don't wanna start discourse lmao. I just wanna share my silly thoughts about a tv show & question the way Crowley's sexuality is written in this silly homophobic tv show. don't @ me about what's making you think Crowley is indisputably pansexual bc I assure you I already know your points

That being said, here's why I think Crowley is a bear, a gay man, a trans gay man actually, a homosexual, who isn't attracted to women & some food for thoughts about why the unquestioned consensus towards pan Crowley could have roots in both homophobia & panphobia.

I don't think we can think of Crowley as your usual demon. We know too much about Crowley's life as a human, and the numerous ways in which he acts un-demony, almost humanly after. Considering him simply like a demon with no concept of gender preference who would be pan “by default” wouldn’t be right with his character. But we also can't question his sexuality in the exact same way we would a human's.

It also can't be thought in the same way as angels': as once-humans demons do have a concept of gender. Crowley especially cares a lot about his gender presentation and the way he's addressed. Not only does he literally sell his soul for a bigger d*ck as a human ; as a demon he uses the same vessel where other demons are shown to move once they had to leave one ; and for the few hours Crowley's possessing a woman, he clearly states he should still be referred to as king.

This will all be used for homophobic & transphobic jokes in the show, but I'll get back to that later on. Gender does matter to Crowley's identity, and I think it could be extended to his sexuality.

I've seen numerous descriptions of it all saying Crowley's sexuality was "ambiguous" and I guess it is, as he never explicitly used any label. However "ambiguous" doesn't mean bi or pan. It doesn't mean anything besides the fact we can't draw a clear-cut conclusion of his sexuality.

Imo we can actually draw a clear-cut conclusion of Crowley's sexuality but yeh, I'm getting there.

----------------

Let's take a look at canon events around Crowley & sexuality!

His character introduction is him enjoying making a homophobe man kiss him for a deal

It is rumoured that he was a demon's lover (Lilith's)

He heavily flirts with Bobby

He french kisses Bobby for a deal and takes a pic

He never kisses a woman on screen (tell me if I forgot anyone!)

He flirts with every single man he sees, and even more strongly when it's making the other uncomfortable

The other parent of Crowley's son is never mentioned nor even brought up

He has two orgies that we know of

He has sex with a demon who's possessing a woman (Lola) when he was addicted to human blood

He dates, has sex with, and asks Dean to rule Hell with him. He's in love with Dean

On late spn he drinks fruity drinks

He flirts with and implies he had sex with an angel (Naomi)

He flirts with Death (Billie)

He's into BDSM

I'm not gonna go into details with all the sexual stuff he says bc there's a lot.... But it's always about gay sex. (once again, if I'm forgetting smth pls tell me nicely)

Now, with all that I'd like to question specifically the elements people use to say Crowley is canonically attracted to women.

He has two orgies that we know of

There’s the one Crowley has while he’s himself possessing a woman ; iirc it’s a foursome with two other men and one woman. Crowley still counts as a King, as the show makes sure we know, admitedly this dialogue implies we should still think of him as a not-very-manly-man.

Honestly, if one is convinced Crowley is attracted to women based on this scene.. okay. Personally I don’t see it because the orgy is unplanned, it’s an opportunity Crowley takes. Is he even attracted to the two other men?? Who knows. We don’t even know if Crowley even touches the other woman, there’re so many ways to have group sex. Even if he did, having sex with one woman doesn’t make it impossible for him to be homosexual.

The second orgy is with Dean. Crowley describes it then: “We've done extraordinary things to triplets.” It’s interesting how before I went to check, I thought it was clear the triplets were women. But not at all! I’ve been tricked by heteronormativity myself. So this is up to interpretation. Even though the way the show doesn’t make sure we know the triplets were women is pretty telling (as I’ll talk about later).

It is rumoured that he was Lilith's lover

Well, this is a rumour. In this relationship Crowley would know Lilith as a demon possessing a woman, and Lilith would know Crowley as a demon possessing a man as well. Who's even to say they met in their vessels to sleep together. That's the kind of cases in which the ambiguity of Crowley human/demon situation makes it impossible to draw any kind of conclusion towards Crowley's attraction to women. Also if anything Lilith is clearly a lesbian lmao.

He has sex with Lola when he was addicted to human blood

Same thing here, the relationship is one of demon/demon. Though we do now they do meet in their vessels to sleep together. Besides that, the sex happens while Crowley is at a low point. She's the one bringing him human blood, which makes the sex more of a transaction than anything. It does fit a very grey area of consent which would be fair to question.

We can't know for sure whether the demon possessing the woman was a woman as well, but let's say she was: 1/ Crowley having sex once or twice with a woman doesn't prevent him from being homosexual. 2/ What is he seeing if not a demon's true form? 3/ Wasn't he in a self-destructive mental state?

It's a stretch, imo, to assume Crowley was attracted to her.

He flirts with and had sex with Naomi / flirts with Billie

This one is so ridiculous to me bc Naomi is an angel and as a demon, Crowley sees her true form. We don't even know who was her vessel when they had sex.

The flirt thing is interesting however, bc iirc Naomi and Billie are the only "women" we see Crowley actually flirt with. During the orgies or the demon sex there's no flirt involved. It's interesting bc, as Cas would say: "Naomi's vessel is a woman. Naomi is an angel."

Same case for Billie who's a reaper then Death. Spn is pretty unclear about how the whole thing works but we know reapers are kind of angels. In any case, I won't go as far as saying Billie has any connection to gender.

Moreover, the way Crowley flirts with them is pretty light next to everything else Crowley says to men. It's pretty personal, I'm aware, but I do relate a lot with the way Crowley flirts with them VS how I flirt with men just because (and I'm a lesbian).

Anyway! Both Naomi and Billie are supernatural creatures, which brings the count of women Crowley flirts with to... zero.

-> What I take from all that is that Crowley is attracted to men for sure ; to angels and demons ; and doesn't care about the genitalia involved in the sex he has. We have nothing about the kind of relationships he had as a human. His gender presentation matters a lot to him. The only long-term commitment he has is with Dean. I wouldn't even say he had a committed relationship with Gavin's other parent bc we don't know anything about them.

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But what's my deal with homosexual Crowley? One can wonder, if Crowley doesn't care about bodies, doesn't that mean he can still be written as pan?

No! First because sexual attraction isn't about genitalia (even if transphobes would argue the contrary but they're transphobic so...). And second, well....

I would refer to this point as "how do I know Crowley isn't attracted to women? bc Dean is"

I'm convinced that if the show wanted to write Crowley as anything other than a gay man, it would have been way more obvious.

This is a show who wrote Dean catcalling a faceless woman on the street, for no other reason than to remind the viewers Dean was attracted to women & to balance it with the following homoerotic scene.

One could say spn doesn't have lots of women characters to begin with, but that's my point exactly: when spn wants to show attraction towards women, they do find women for people to be attracted to. Hell, they even give Gavin some girlfriend but never ever bring up the topic of Gavin's other parent. Even though an entire episode is dedicated to learning about Crowley's past.

What's important to understand Crowley's sexuality isn't the people he slept with ; it's the people he doesn't show interest in.

The absence of something is the presence of the thing, blablabla. It's a way to look at homosexuality that heteronormativity makes hard to see because, unconciously, we don't tend to question attraction towards the expected gender. One would ask for a 10 pages essay on why a character is gay, but one would need only a 2 sec kiss to assure a character's heterosexuality or attraction towards the expected gender.

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In Crowley's case, his attraction to men is a huge part of his character right from the beginning (thanks god, at least no one's questioning that). Spn as a show that hears what the fans are saying and twists writing accordingly, is perfectly aware of that. Yet rather than pushing women at him along the course of the show to remind everyone how Not Gay Crowley is - the opposite happens.

Yeh, Lola, Naomi, Billie, they all happen in the later seasons. But even then, the show somehow can't write Crowley as attracted to a human woman.

What happens then is: not only does Crowley fall for Dean ; he engages in some BDSM play with Lucifer : and he switches from drinking only the finest Scotch to fruity cocktails.

The BDSM thing as well as the drink thing are choices rooted in stereotypes, that's how spn is! But it does canonize Crowley's homosexuality. They're depriving him of his "masculinity" as the show goes on, because they purposely write him as homosexual. I don't think spn would have ever written a bi or pan character that way.

We learned a few days ago that Crowley died in a gutter. He died in a gutter for a bigger d*ck. I'm just gonna refer to Oscar Wilde & Mika on this : "some of us in the gutter are looking up at the stars."

The "referred to as king" scene isn't about Crowley being a demon and so not caring about gender - it's the opposite. Other demons are the ones poiting out Crowley's vessel. This is a transphobic joke. It's the demon edition of the "gay boy in a dress" transmisogynistic trope.

Viewers aren't supposed to be on Crowley's side ; we're supposed to be giggling with the other demons while Crowley is being emasculated. Crowley gets a woman vessel because he's a not-very-manly-man, because he's a trans man, because he's homosexual.

And I know that bc Dean is written as bi, and all they're doing is reaffirming the way he does like women while being extra subtle with his love for men.

Meanwhile Crowley is losing influence and power, loses his authority as he loses his throne in Hell, gets humiliated by Lucifer, until all his character revolves around is his love for Dean. The way Crowley is then protrayed as some lovesick ex who can't move on is, imo, a straight man fantasy. Crowley's love is both used as predatory and as a tool to validate Dean's Peak Masculinity.

Spn has been burying their gays all along, and Crowley was right there being punished for not only being in love with Dean but for not being attracted to women. For never being able to be a "normal" guy. For never being able to be seen as a "normal" guy. For checking every homophobic stereotypes in the books. Crowley as a human dies because he's a trans man. Crowley as a demon dies because he's homosexual.

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That's what leads me to be uncomfortable with the way the fandom seems to have a consensus towards pansexual Crowley. (Once again: idc about people's personal hc of Crowley as pan, I just want to think critically about the way no one thinks twice about it & accepts it as canon so easily. Hell, just bc I dared to ask what started the pan Crowley confirmation I got accused of erasing his pansexuality. All I did was ask a question.)

To me, it feels like erasing everything his character went through because he was gay. And it seems to be taken from a reasoning which is going to assume Crowley is attracted to women.

I mean: the reasoning would go "oh, Crowley clearly has a non-straight sexuality -> he's attracted to men -> he's pan" His attraction to women being accepted by default, without needing any backup. And when I look at the canon I see nothing implying he'd be attracted to women. Taking Crowley's attraction to women for granted is following an heteronormative thinking.

Being into people isn't all about who one sleeps with. It's about love. And when we look at what spn shows about Crowley's close relationships, the only meaningful one he got is with Dean. When Rowena wants payback for Crowley making her kill Oskar, she goes for his son.

And it's SO interesting to me because if angels can't be in love because they don't have a soul - can demons? as they're beings with a destroyed soul? And if so, how powerful of Crowley to still fall in love with Dean Winchester.... the power of gay love :) (Crowley 🤝 Cas)

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To conclude all this with some more stuff to think about if, like me, you love questioning everything:

While it's not wrong per se to hc Crowley as pan, it can be worth questioning what's making us so sure we collectively just vibe with it? To me there's a few things: - As I was saying: heteronormative bias - Crowley being a non-fully-human character - Crowley being masculine (despite the show's attempts to erase that) - Crowley being into BDSM - Crowley flirting and making sexual remarks in every context

These, unconsciously, gives a vibe of a character who's "outside" of the gender norm, not making big deal of their sexuality, not even questioning it. This creates this idea of "ambiguity" around Crowley's sexuality. The way Crowley particularly seems to be really chill about sex, is a demon (so what does he know about gender?), and heavily flirty, ... is what most people will link to pansexuality. That doesn't mean thinking of Crowley as pan is being problematic™ ; this means in western medias that's what fills the "pansexual character" imagery (like basically: the Jack Harkness type).

However, when we look at it like that, none of these elements are defining of pansexuality. None of them are excluding him from homosexuality. If not stereotypes.

That's where it gets personal ; but it does make me feel like the huge consensus towards a pansexual Crowley (when there is no clear-cut evidence of it) is erasing the complexity of homosexual experiences. As I said at the begining: I'm happy if pansexual people can relate to Crowley ; everone's free to headcanon. But saying Crowley is canonically pansexual is a stretch - and a take rooted in homophobic stereotypes.

Imo Crowley may have been created with all these traits pushing towards a pan reading of his character. However, as the show went, he was clearly written as a homosexual man. The changes in his portrayal took a turn to be specifically homophobic. He gets imagery that only strictly homosexual characters got (such as drinking fruity cocktails like Aaron. Meanwhile Dean, on the same scene, is allowed beer & whiskey.)

We're used to taking spn's homophobic rep and jokes to make it our own. Yet it seems, when it comes to Crowley, the fandom doesn't see it.

Sometimes people aren't attracted to the gender heteronormativity expects them to be attracted to.......... sometimes people are gay and it's not an umbrella term.

#crowley spn #spn crowley #crowley #trans crowley #spn meta #supernatural #spn #so..... i went off once again #homophobia #transphobia #i just kept adding stuff to it lmao and i would STILL have stuff to say but this is enough #long post #spnprideweek

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sunsbled-archive · 3 years ago

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psa . regarding ooc stuff .

so, i feel like i owe everyone an explanation as to why i’ve been a) very slow on replies and b) kind of distant ooc / more unresponsive than usual.

let me preface it with this: if you ever felt like i “dropped” you or stopped talking to you i promise it has nothing to do with you. i’ve just been ... having a tough time since last december and i’ve been trying to catch myself but it’s hard.

it’s also why i either reblog a ton of memes and then don’t answer that many or why i write a ton and then disappear for a few days: because i try to distract myself with tumblr but it only works halfway before my brain just gives out.

at the end of last november my mother told me she’d split from my father. which doesn’t come as a surprise to me, i saw it coming from miles away. what i did not expect was how cruel she was going to be to my father. if she does not want to get back together with him i understand, it’s fine. but she let him drive 45 minutes to see her just to tell him that right away without even having a conversation first and letting him drive back home for 45 minutes while he was barely able to hold back tears. he’s made mistakes and he’s by no means a perfect guy, but my dad really tries and he is just a real big case of “really does care and tries to show it but has been told never to show emotions and hence struggles a lot”. same with my mom.

i’m not gonna go into detail any more, especially about my family situation, but basically seeing how bad my father has taken the situation, how my mother pretends to be fine but has literally lost way too much weight way too fast & how my family basically fell apart over it, especially with my oldest sister taking sides, moving out of my dads house (big place, so once she’s out he’s all alone in it, too) while pregnant and the middle one essentially cutting us out of her life it’s been the first thing to wear me down over the months. ESPECIALLY since, and i was trying to be fine. i’m 24, i am not THAT affected. but i was AFFECTED by my mother saying that “it all started to really fall apart after i moved out because i was the peacekeeper in the house”.

which gave me time to reflect and think and i realized that not only was there something that was borderline emotional incest going on with my mother, but also the “youngest child pushed into the parental role for everyone including parents + older siblings” and the “one of the kids is playing family therapist”. it just kind of ... messed with me for a while. i don’t want to get into detail but the realization of how fucked up my family situation was emotionally just kind of is what drove a rift between me and communication. just ... made me want to stop talking to people because it also brought up unpleasant memories from three years ago where someone here on tumblr basically manipulated and gaslit me into a relationship (almost) and put me on a glorified pedestal until they didn’t like me for who i was as a person but for who they wanted me to be.

and then it turns out my grandfather refused experimental treatment for a dangerous condition with his thyroid (literally could split the thing between 20 adult people and EVERYONE would be very healthy with it, that’s how enlarged it is) and wants the operation where his survival chance is 30% only. which doesn’t bother me, shockingly enough. i’m trans. the entire side of the family he’s on is pretty right wing. they wouldn’t accept nor understand, i assume. so i just keep my distance. but it just makes everything more stressful because his wife, my grandmother, is rapidly developing dementia (been diagnosed last august, and is already pretty bad mentally). which, as much as it doesnt completely hurt me it still stings a little because even if i do not get close to my family very much, they’re my grandparents and i spent a major part of my childhood with them.

and then there’s work. i am already stressed because i can’t get doctors appointments so i can be transferred to the hospital for a big(ger) operation AND i can’t get a appointment for legally changing my name AND registering in the town i’ve lived in for 2 years now (it’s BAD). and now i am stuck in ambulant care, where i have to go by my deadname again because i couldn’t legally change my name but also have to deal with people who complain a lot about how hospital nurses work. every single day i work with them. which, ironically, i do my job very well if i don’t have someone constantly standing behind me and peering over my shoulder. and it’s been wearing me down even more because i’ve only been there for two weeks now. and i am already tired. and i’ll be there until the end of may.

so yeah. i hope this shines some light on the situation + why i tend to be a little more quiet ooc and why i do not approach people first anymore. it’s nothing against any of you, it just ... made me stressed and i felt very alone for a majority of these past few months so out of fear that i’d be bothering people i just ... shut myself in, a bit. i’m tired and if i’m quite frank i feel like i would definitely not mind dying right now. but i’m not the depressed kind of where i’d actually do anything. just the ... very drained, very incapable of conversation, type. so yeah...

anyways if you’ve actually read this far: thank you for hearing me out. thank you for hopefully understanding. and thank you for being here. currently you guys on tumblr, mutuals or not, are the only people i really talk to and it just ... it means a lot to me knowing you guys are here, even if i might not have checked my follower list since september.

#ask to tag please #divorce /#depression /#pregnancy /#sickness /#dementia /#transphobia ment #since one of my boss literally said ' i dislike political correctness ' which.#great. that's the guy who's supposed to be my mentor while i am there :')#【 𝐎𝐎𝐂 】⚜ ❝ *to the tune of barbie girl* i’m a garbage man; in a garbage can .#negative /#just in case.

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thedreadvampy · 4 years ago

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like actually yeah PLEASE can we talk about how a lot of younger people in the queer community (and also some not younger people) seem to think that

a) visibility is the same thing as social power (both gay men and trans women have appeared regularly in media for decades of not centuries, usually as the butt of jokes; flaboyant queerness and gender nonconformity are often visible in media but that's generally been used to mock and target flamboyantly queer, GNC and trans people, not out of some sort of respect or social empowerment. Like representation and visibility are important tools to achieve social empowerment but they're also used to remove it and the fact that, say, there's more transfem characters than transmasc in media is not bc transfem people have social power it's because they've been considered a joke or a source of horror or a social deviance in themselves)

b) cis gay men, especially camp/gnc gay men, hold broad social privilege/are exaggerating when they talk about oppression (what are you on? what are you on????? broad social acceptance of male queerness has come on in leaps and bounds over my lifetime but you don't need to even look back as far as the early 2000s to see how many people in society hate and fear gay and bi men. right now! people are excluded from their families and communities because of the whisper of gayness! right now look at the world and tell me one person in a position of power who's a ~stereotypically flamboyant gay~ who's not a media personality. look at how quickly people jump to joking about homosexuality when they don't like someone. like gay men and bi men are still at exceptionally high risk of violence around the world! and I'm not just talking about the many countries which still have the death penalty or severe punishments for same-sex activity, although also YEAH WE SHOULD TALK ABOUT THAT.)

c) just in general, that the social politics of the specific queer communities they move in are reflective of the world as a whole (like yeah ok maybe GNC gay men, butches and trans lesbians have all the clout in One Specific Social Media Sphere you move in. maybe everyone around you understands the nuances of nonbinary identity. maybe everyone uses the same language. but that doesn't mean that the social hegemony of the world at large privileges GNC people and trans people, differentiates between nonbinary and GNC, or cares what language you use to describe yourself. We've come a long way but sometimes I think we're at risk of getting complacent and losing our solidarity for other members of the community bc we project our understanding of the power dynamics of a small community onto the power dynamics of an extremely hierarchical society full of people who've only learnt trans people are a real thing in like the last decade and who've mostly known about queerness as a threat)

d) that "queer" and "LGBTQ+" are synonyms (this is a matter of opinion I guess but my opinion is they're NOT! Queerness as a reclamatory identifier is a political stance! It's inherently radical; it's anti-assimilationist, activist, community-focused and founded in confrontational pride in your """"deviance""""" (as well as being heavily but not exclusively associated with leftism, anarcho-socialism, and mutual aid). Not every LGBTQ+ person is queer and that's fine. and the power of queerness comes from the reclamation of homophobic and transphobic rhetoric. so like queer may not be a slur now (let's not get into that) but it's not just ahistorical to claim it never was a slur, it also robs the word of its political and reclamatory power. Gayness, transness, bisexuality, asexuality et al are statements of being; queer is a statement of intent.)

e) that anything is Just The Facts (identity is in a constant state of flux. so is language. and appeals to history ignore the fact that debates about language and queer politics are as old as the queer community - there's very rarely been total consensus on the minute nuances of language. and personal identity is in flux too - you're not lying if you said you were ace and now you say you're straight, if you said you were a lesbian and now consider yourself a gay man, if you said you were bi and now you say you're a lesbian. sexuality and community are messy and complex and personal and often change over time. nothing's locked in unless you want it to be)

f) that queer history started in the 2000s/the 90s/the AIDS crisis/Stonewall (the queer/LGBTQ+ community has had an activist and social history for centuries and the modern gay/queer solidarity movement goes back at least a hundred years. so does explicit oppression of those groups. you can't just point to the 90s and say Look The Beginnings Of Our History)

#idk it's just a handful of #lgbtq discourse #takes #which I'm gonna tag #discourse #just in case ya wanna blacklist that #also it's wild that i keep talking about Young People Today like I'm not in my mid 20s #oh hark at me an ancient elder 😌#but i think there's a really sharp cut between people who remember the atmosphere of the 2000s and people who were little kids then #like 2009. 2009 is when the uk got gay marriage. 2010 in the US I think?#and i just. i don't understand how anyone who DOES remember that and how recent it was can be like HAHA GAY MEN HAVE SO MUCH SOCIAL POWER #hm. nah.

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oumakokichi · 4 years ago

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I have a question for you about your opinions of Kaito. I've seen that you say he's homophobic and all that, but there is something about that statement that really bothers me. In his Love Suit Event, it heavily implies that Kaito not only has romantic feelings towards a very clear male rival, but also wants to win the plane race to earn the right to confess those romantic feelings. A lot of people see him as gay or bi coded, so I thought I'd ask what you thought about that.

I’ve been thinking about how to reply to this ask for a little while now, and I think I’ve finally got my thoughts all laid out. This isn’t meta, but my response will nonetheless be somewhat long, so I’ll be putting most of it under a read-more.

Anon, I’m really not sure what to tell you. Me saying that Momota has homophobic lines and behavior isn’t just my interpretation or opinion; it’s an actual fact that he does say homophobic/transphobic slurs in the game. Not in his FTEs, not in his love hotel or salmon mode, but in chapter 2 of the actual game, directed specifically at Korekiyo. The word specifically is “okama” (オカマ), and it has a very heavy and unfortunate history as a slur in Japan used predominantly against gay men and trans women, who as I’ve stated, are unfortunately often lumped together and assumed to be “the same thing” by cishet people.

I’ve had people spread misinformation about this slur, claiming that he used it in the chapter 3 trial instead and that that’s why he was being so derogatory to Korekiyo instead, but this is factually untrue. He uses this slur in chapter 2, well before Korekiyo murders anyone and before he’s revealed to be incestuous and a serial killer. And even if it were true, trying to justify the usage of homophobic and transphobic slurs with “well the person he was saying them to was a bad person so it’s okay” is a fundamentally flawed way of thinking.

It’s also a fact that he reacts with complete disgust and is horrified by even the idea of Saihara potentially coming on to him during one of his dates in salmon mode. He specifically says, “you don’t swing that way, do you!?” while using his most horrified sprite, and unlike the slur, the localization did more or less keep this line.

Again, there have been people who have tried to argue that this was simply because Momota was “sad at the idea of Saihara coming out without telling him first,” and again, this is factually untrue. Both the localization and the original Japanese dialogue of the game make it explicitly clear that he is completely grossed out at the idea of Saihara being attracted to him. This isn’t my personal interpretation or anything like that; it’s quite literally in the text.

I went and reread Momota’s love hotel to refresh my memory of the scene, and... I’m really not sure where you’re getting that he’s referring to a “very clear male rival.” He is certainly referring to a rival as his “ideal romantic partner,” but he never says anything at all about said rival’s gender. There’s absolutely nothing in the scene itself that ever specifies that he’s seeing Saihara as another guy.

In fact, for all that he talks quite enthusiastically about his rivalry with this person, he never once says any of his usual lines about “a man’s passion” or lectures about the way “men should behave.” Considering a good part of his interactions with most of the other male characters in ndrv3, not just Saihara, often involve him talking about what is or isn’t appropriate for a man (Hoshi’s suicidal tendencies are “effeminate” and unfitting for someone he looked up to, Gonta crying in the investigations is “unmanly,” etc.), I would actually say that it’s more likely he isn’t talking to another guy here, but this is just my speculation and it’s open to interpretation if nothing else.

However, it is a fact that just because Saihara is playing the part of his rival in his love hotel scene does not automatically mean that said rival “must be a guy.” Saihara plays the part of literally everyone’s ideal romantic partner in every single love hotel scene, and in most of them he’s very clearly being perceived differently than he actually appears. Hoshi, for example, is pretty clearly seeing Saihara through the lens of his dead girlfriend who he mentions in his FTEs, despite not ever explicitly referring to Saihara in his love hotel event as a man or a woman.

There’s no denying that Momota’s idea of romance is linked with passionate ideas about rivalry and competition, and that he likes grand gestures. But again, there is nothing in the text whatsoever about his rival being another man. That part is purely speculation, and nothing in the actual love hotel scene ever states that.

In my own opinion, I cannot agree with saying that a character who canonically uses homophobic slurs and reacts with open disgust to another guy coming on to him is “coded” to be gay or bisexual. Coding is the deliberate placement of subtle clues and details woven into the text to clue readers in that a character may be a certain sexuality or gender identity. With rare exceptions (like Mac from It’s Always Sunny, who by this point has been confirmed to be a gay man on the show), characters who use homophobic slurs aren’t usually “coded” to be gay or bi.

If anything, I feel that the trope of “homophobe who’s secretly a closeted gay man” does more harm than good to the LGBT community, implying that we’re responsible for the violence and prejudices used against ourselves. This trope also reassures other people whose prejudices and homophobia might be less outspoken that they’re not “really” showing any homophobic behavior or attitudes because they’re not outright saying slurs or showing their disgust, and leads them to assume that they’re not complicit.

I also feel that it’s worth pointing out that being a member of the LGBT community does not excuse anyone from homophobic or transphobic behavior, either. Having grown up in a highly conservative and deeply homophobic household, I understand perfectly well what it’s like to grow up closeted and repessed about your own sexuality. But brushing off the use of slurs directed at other people and saying that it’s okay because the person saying those slurs eventually came out is... not a great look, honestly. Even previously-closeted LGBT people still have to be held accountable for their behavior and for the harm they might have caused other people with their actions. There is no “free pass” for saying slurs to other people.

That being said, if people want to headcanon Momota as gay or bisexual, that’s an entirely different matter. Headcanons are separate from coding and are simply a matter of personal preference. Again, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to reclaim a character and actually show them growing from and apologizing for their past behavior. I can understand people who might relate to Momota’s better qualities, and who want to interpret his character in a positive way.

But it’s important in making these headcanons to not erase the fact that he did, canonically, say a homophobic slur, and to not speak over other LGBT people who are understandably uncomfortable with this fact. Just because the localization erased said slur entirely doesn’t change the intention of the original dialogue, and it doesn’t change the way Momota consistently reacts negatively to the idea of other men showing any sort of attraction to him that isn’t purely “bros being bros.”

I’m absolutely not trying to be harsh or dismissive here anon, and I hope I’ve been clear with that in my response. Again, if other people want to headcanon him as gay or bisexual because they love or relate to his character and want to see him grow from his flaws, that’s totally fine! But he’s in no way deliberately “coded” to be gay or bisexual when there are multiple instances of him having homophobic behavior in the actual, canon text.

#ask #opinions #anonymous #okay to reblog #homophobia //#i feel like this was an important discussion and i'm glad if i could share my thoughts about it if nothing else

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maybeimamuppet · 4 years ago

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in her pride

happy Wednesday and happy pride, friends! this is a request fill for @jusanotherconfusedfangirl who requested our art freaks and Elijah attending pride!

trigger warnings for:

homophobia

one use of d-slur

panic attacks

I think that's everything, but as always please let me know if I've missed something and I will add it in.

enjoy!

“Hey, Peanut,” Janis greets as Cady leaps into her arms. “You look cute!”

“Thanks!” Cady chirps happily. She does look rather adorable in her shorts and tank top combo, complete with bi flag suspenders and a matching headband. She also found bi flag socks and stole a pair of Janis’ boots. Cady pulls back to see Janis’ outfit too. “Wow. You look… really good.”

“Why thank you,” Janis purrs. She’s in her usual shorts and tights, but this time has a lesbian flag t-shirt and matching socks poking out from her own boots. She does a spin to show off her outfit, revealing that one the pockets of her shorts has also been painted with the many orange and pink stripes of her flag, and her infamous ‘female power’ painting done in miniature on the other. “Come on.”

Cady follows her into the house and up to her room. Julie waves as they pass her open door. She’s got on a rainbow shirt in solidarity, but wouldn’t be joining them on their little excursion.

“Do you want your flag painted on your face?” Janis asks, pointing to her own cheek decorated with yet another lesbian flag. Cady nods excitedly, so Janis gestures for her to sit across from her on the bed and grabs her paints and a brush.

“What’s it going to be like?” Cady asks as Janis tenderly brushes a thick stripe of blue onto her cheek.

“Loud,” Janis replies immediately. “In a lot of ways. There’s gonna be a lot of bright colors, obviously, and a lot of noise. And probably a few weird smells.”

“Okay,” Cady chuckles gently so she doesn’t mess Janis up.

“It’s a lot of fun, though. You’ll get to see and meet all sorts of people who’ve been through and experienced all sorts of things,” Janis says. “You’ll love it.”

“I’m so excited,” Cady says happily as Janis finishes brushing magenta on top of her purple stripe. “When did you start going?”

“Ninth grade,” Janis says quietly. “Damian and I went with our moms.”

“Aww,” Cady coos. “You sound sad.”

“I’m… I don’t know,” Janis says. “It was a great thing overall that year, but I had an… ordeal, let’s say, with a group of protestors there. I’m still not sure how I feel about that Pride as a whole.”

“Oh,” Cady frowns. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not right now,” Janis says. “It’s your first pride, let’s just focus on that for today. I’ll tell you some other time.”

“Okay,” Cady says. “You look good in warm colors, you should wear them more often.”

“You think?” Janis chuckles, putting her hands on her hips and striking a pose. “Haven’t worn this much pink since I was a Plastic.”

“Love, you wore that pink shirt so many times during our junior year,” Cady says. “And last year, too.”

“What pink shirt?” Janis asks in confusion. “I don’t have any pink clothes.”

Cady heads over to her closet and pulls out the two-toned pink striped shirt, a dress with pink flowers, and a pink sweater.

“Then what color are these?” She asks, holding them up to show off.

Janis goes very quiet and purses her lips. “Diet red. I don’t wear pink.”

Cady bursts out laughing and comes to kiss her cheek. “You’re allowed to wear pink if you want, lovey. It suits you.”

“Humph,” Janis grumbles. “Do you have everything you need?”

“I think so,” Cady says. “Sunscreen and sunglasses, ear defenders, hats, water, snacks, phone, ponchos, flags.”

“Sounds good to me,” Janis says. “Dame and Elijah should be here in a few minutes and then we can go.”

“Yay,” Cady says happily, coming to straddle her girlfriend for cuddles.

Sure enough, Damian and Elijah come quite literally parading into the room about ten minutes later, having let themselves into Janis’ house. Cady and Janis are more than a little concerned when they hear Julie yell “Oh my god!”

Until they see what she’s on about. Damian is looking… colorful in a full rainbow outfit, complete with cloud hat, bright red lipstick and wearing a trans pride flag as a cape. Elijah is entirely topless but in a rainbow skirt, long and made of tulle. He’s also wearing a flag cape, but his is the demisexual flag. He has a fan in each hand. One says ‘Oh honey’ with a bee pattern on it and the other appears to say ‘Power bottom’. Janis gags a little as he hands the latter back to Damian.

“Jesus Christ, guys,” Janis laughs. “Looking good.”

“Whoa,” Cady blinks. “I want a cape!”

“Do you have a flag?” Damian asks. Cady nods and grabs her larger bi flag that she’d impulse-bought a while ago out of her bag. He takes it and ties it loosely around her neck to match them. Once she has her cape, Cady does a superhero pose with her hands on her hips and her chin jutted out proudly.

“Bi-der girl,” Janis mumbles under her breath. Cady hears her and laughs, nodding in agreement.

“Can we go now pleeeease? I’m so excited,” Cady begs, tugging on Janis’ hand to get her to stand up.

“Yes, we can, easy,” Janis laughs. “Save your energy.”

“She’s got plenty,” Damian chuckles. “Let’s go, E can drive us there.”

—————

“Whoa,” Cady says in awe, looking around at all the bright rainbows and fun outfits surrounding them. They got a spot near the start of the parade, to get the best goodies. “Is that person-“

“Naked? Probably,” Janis finishes as Cady trails off. “There’s a lot of different things people are here for, some are a little ‘out there’ even for me.”

“Hm,” Cady hums thoughtfully. “Fun!”

“Just wait ‘til it starts, Butterfly,” Janis says, kissing her cheek. Cady flinches a little when the screaming begins along with the parade, and Janis quickly realizes she can’t see much. Cady accepts the offered perch on Janis’ back and watches like that, waving at people passing by and catching them a few of whatever is flung their way.

By the time the last few floats and groups have gone by, Janis is almost totally covered in all sorts of rainbow and pride accoutrements. Necklaces, other beads, candy, flags, and even some condoms.

“That was awesome!” Cady squeals in her ear. “What now?”

“Now we get to walk around and enjoy it,” Janis responds, following Damian and Elijah down the street. “Ooh, cupcakes.”

Cady is glad Janis seems to have forgotten she’s still on her back, since it means she doesn’t have to walk around. Janis buys them each a cupcake with their respective pride flag frosted on top, and Cady climbs down to dig in happily.

“Ooh, mine is funfetti!” She says around a mouthful, showing Janis her cupcake with the bite missing.

“I think mine is strawberry,” Janis says around some of her own, showing off the pink center to hers. Cady cheekily leans in and takes a bite of it. “Hey!” Janis leans in and takes a bite of Cady’s. “You got frosting on your nose.”

Cady crosses her eyes to see, and sure enough, there is a little bit of purple frosting from her cupcake on her nose. She pokes her tongue out to try to get it, but Janis kisses it away instead. Cady grins and clambers back onto her girlfriend’s back, peppering a few kisses over her cheeks.

“What’s that?” She asks, pointing to a group of people who seem to be doing some sort of craft as they listen to a local band on a stage nearby.

“I dunno, sometimes they have art stuff here. Do you want to go see? I think we’ve officially lost Dame and Elijah,” Janis says.

“How did we manage that? Damian is literally dressed as a whole rainbow,” Cady mutters confusedly.

“Exactly, it’s perfect camouflage,” Janis chuckles. “They’ll find us eventually, come on.”

Cady clings to her shoulders contently as she’s carried over to the area. A lady is running a booth there and explains they’re painting rocks to go in a garden outside the local LGBTQ+ youth shelter. People are painting anything from pride flags, to animals and other random things, to supportive messages on some of the larger ones. It’s free, so Janis grabs a few rocks for each of them and a paper plate with all sorts of colors of acrylic paint.

“So what do you think so far, Butterfly?” Janis asks as she gets to work painting a bee on one of her rocks.

“It’s fun! You were right, it’s loud, but it’s… safe feeling. A good loud,” Cady responds, deciding to do a rainbow lion, as a little nod to her pride of lions from Kenya. “And everything is so interesting, there’s so much here.”

“Good,” Janis replies, leaning in to kiss her cheek. Someone from one of the other blankets yells over that they make a cute couple, and they both call back a thank you with a giggle.

“And everyone is so nice, too,” Cady chuckles, brushing a streak of purple into her lion’s mane.

Once all their rocks have been thoroughly decorated with all sorts of flags and rainbows and messages, they return them to the booth to dry and be placed, and then head off to find another thing to do.

“Oh, there’s Damian,” Cady says, having been on her tippy toes and scanning the local area.

“Of course he found the food trucks,” Janis mumbles under her breath. She yelps slightly as Cady grabs her hand and starts running them in that direction.

By the time they make it to him, she’s thoroughly out of breath. Damian turns around at the sound of her panting and chuckles.

“Hey guys!” He greets. “I found tacos. You good, Jan?”

“Gimme,” Janis puffs, reaching for his slushee. He hands it over begrudgingly and lets her have a few gulps. “Ooh, blue raspberry. Thanks.”

“Get your own,” Damian whines. “They’re, like, two bucks.”

“And you owe me ten,” Janis shrugs. “Mine now.”

“Why does Damian owe you money?” Cady asks worriedly.

“I bet him ten bucks I could steal a sheep without being noticed,” Janis responds. “And then I did.”

“You-you-“ Cady stutters. “Wh-what-why- why did you-“

“Good job, Janis, you broke your girlfriend,” Elijah chuckles.

“I put it back after,” Janis says, as if that makes anything better. Cady is still stuttering over several questions. “I named him Walter.”

Cady just blinks and then sighs, leaning her head against Janis’ shoulder. “Stop stealing livestock. Just leave them alone.”

“I didn’t steal the cows! Or the chickens,” Janis defends quickly. “And the sheep was fine. I just borrowed him for a second. Also, did you know sheep are not as soft as you would think? They’re very scratchy.”

“There’s a reason I can’t wear wool,” Cady chuckles in response. “Now get us some tacos, you heathen.”

Janis pouts, but does head up to the window to order them some food. Cady takes hers and leads them all over to a picnic table nearby, trying to navigate around the sticky soda spills and leftover gum.

Elijah tells them about the clothing and accessory booths set up a ways away, showing them all the cool pride necklaces he had purchased along with a few t-shirts. In return, Cady points out the cupcake place back closer to the beginning. Damian suddenly looks much more excited than he did a second ago.

“They’re really good! Mine was funfetti, and Janis let me try some of her strawberry one,” Cady says.

“I didn’t let you, you stole a bite,” Janis retaliates. “Don’t twist this story.”

“And you took some of mine,” Cady argues jokingly. “You would’ve given me a bite anyway.”

“No I wouldn’t! You’re a thief,” Janis says. Damian and Elijah both shoot her a look. “What?”

To prove her point, Cady juts out her bottom lip and blinks at her pleadingly. “Jayjay, can I pleeeease have a bite of your taco?”

“This is a trap, this is a trap,” Janis whispers to herself, trying her hardest to resist. Cady takes it up a notch and leans into her shoulder, blinking those long eyelashes at her adorably. “Fine!”

Cady laughs victoriously and steals her bite. “I told you. I have the power.”

“Outside the bedroom, maybe,” Janis mutters crankily. “Ow!”

“Janis Sarkisian,” Cady scolds, whacking her arm once more. “We just got a whole intervention a couple weeks ago, did you not learn your lesson about keeping things private?”

“I was joking, ow!” Janis laughs. “Stop hitting me, I’m sorry. I gave you my taco.”

Cady chuckles. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have hit you. I love you.”

Janis grins again as Cady cuddles back into her shoulder. “I love you too.”

Damian shoots them a warning look, so Janis restrains herself to one kiss against Cady’s hair and less aggressive cuddling than she wants.

They finish their food and sit there chatting for a while before Cady pipes up again. “I’m bored, can we go find something else to do?”

“Sure, Cads,” Damian chuckles. “Come on, there’s some photo booth thingies this way.”

Cady says, “Ooh!” excitedly at the same time Janis gives a groan, but they both follow Damian and Elijah regardless. “Jayjay, it’ll be fun! Oh, look at all the backdrops, they’re huge!”

Janis can’t help but smile at her excitement, remembering the joy she felt at her own first pride. Cady takes all sorts of selfies and pictures with her little squad at every flag backdrop, even the ones nobody in their group belong to. They are all very pretty and do make excellent photo backdrops.

Janis takes some of just Cady in front of the bi flag pasted to the side of a building. Cady smiles happily at her and does a few poses. Damian cheers her on from the sidelines before joining her for a few more. Janis smiles even more. She and Damian are and always will be platonic soulmates, but he and Cady have something special too.

Cady eventually comes back to her girlfriend after no fewer than fifty pictures. Some Plastic habits have taken longer to fade than others. “Do you want any of you?”

“Nah, I’m good. Thanks, Peanut,” Janis says. She’s perfectly content to peruse their group shots or the photos of Cady, she’s never been one to enjoy taking pictures of just herself. “I’m in plenty of the group ones.”

“Okay,” Cady says. “What do you want to do? You’ve just been following me around so far.”

“No, I got the cupcakes,” Janis reminds her. “And you’ve picked good stuff to do. Let’s go check out the shopping stands, though, they usually have good stuff.”

Cady nods and takes her hand. Damian and Elijah realize they’re leaving and follow after them at a slight distance. Cady looks around curiously at all the rainbows and other color schemes in various forms around them. “I’ve never felt so… safe. Or secure in my sexuality,” she says quietly as they pass under a rainbow balloon structure.

“Good. That’s how it’s supposed to feel,” Janis says back with a smile. It quickly fades. “Too good to last.”

“What?” Cady asks. Janis points to a crowd of religious protestors nearby, holding signs with all sorts of cruel phrasing on them. “Oh.”

“Just ignore them for now, unless they start getting physical or go after someone young,” Janis shrugs, turning to browse some pride earrings. Cady nods and follows.

She notices Janis tense up as they’re forced to get closer to keep browsing, so she squeezes her hand gently to comfort her. Janis squeezes back thankfully.

Cady and Janis manage to ignore them and continue browsing. Cady buys everyone scrunchies patterned with their respective flags. Elijah puts his on his wrist, but Damian goes the extra mile and manages to get a little ponytail together on top of his head.

He and Elijah continue walking around for a while, but Cady and Janis stay and find a place to sit. It’s quiet and peaceful as Cady braids Janis’ hair down her back and ties the end with her new scrunchie.

So quiet that Janis forgets where they are and who’s nearby, and leans in to kiss her. All she knows is Damian and Elijah aren’t particularly close by, so she has free reign to kiss her girlfriend as much as she wants.

She’s violently brought back to reality when she hears some yelling. All she can make out is the word ‘dykes’. And to make matters worse, her hand suddenly feels warm and wet. One of them spat on her.

Damian and Elijah make a return as they hear the slurs being yelled, and Janis runs to cuddle into Damian. Cady, however, is fuming.

Cady knows she’s not supposed to engage these people. It won’t change anything, and puts her at risk. But, as she sees Janis being led away by Damian apparently in tears, she can’t hold herself back. Elijah is waiting for her, and there’s plenty of safe people around.

“Listen up, you fucks!” She snaps, getting the mob’s attention. “You know damn well you don’t belong here. This is an event for us, to give us a safe space. You’re entitled to your opinions, but attacking my girlfriend is where I draw the fucking line. Fun fact, pride actually has two meanings. This, and a family of lions. I grew up surrounded by several prides. I know how they fight, how they protect each other. The same applies here. If you even think about doing anything to anyone here again, I’ll show you how a whole pride of lions fights. Now fuck off.”

Surprisingly, they listen and back down a little bit. They don’t leave like she had hoped, but deep down she knew they wouldn’t. They’re suddenly swarmed by other pride-goers, congratulating her on her speech and going to try to cover the signs of the protestors.

“Damn, Cady,” Elijah says lowly. “Nice.”

“They hurt Janis,” Cady growls furiously. “Where did they go?”

Elijah points to an alleyway and leads them to it, quickly revealing a sobbing Janis being cradled by Damian. Cady’s seen her like this a few times before. She’s having a panic attack.

“Oh, darling,” Cady breathes sadly, any trace of anger gone once she sees the state Janis is in. “I’m so sorry.”

Janis reaches for her, so Cady cuddles in by Damian and squishes Janis between them. Elijah waits a little bit away, but in earshot if they need him. Janis doesn’t know him as well and his presence seemed to be making her more upset.

Cady pulls her bag off her back and roots through it, pulling out a water bottle and one of the snacks she brought, Janis’ sunglasses, and her own ear defenders.

“Mpenzi, do you want to try these? You don’t have to, but they help me when I’m overwhelmed,” Cady says lowly, tenderly stroking over Janis’ braid. Janis nods with another burst of sobs, so Cady helps her get the sunglasses on without poking her eyes and gently pops on the headphones. “Deep breaths, love, everything’s okay.”

Janis continues weeping in their embrace, sniffling anxiously every once in a while and clinging to both of her comfort people. Cady usually would offer a calming strategy, but she gets a sense that this time it’s important for Janis to just get it out.

A few people pass by the alley and ask if she’s okay, but Elijah plays bodyguard and sends them on their way again with the assurance that they’re handling it.

Very, very gradually, Janis does calm down. She pulls the headphones down around her neck and tucks the sunglasses into her shirt, reaching for the water and snack.

Cady unscrews the lid and hands it over, but helps her hold it when she sees how violently Janis is still shaking. Janis downs a couple gulps and continues clutching it as she shifts off of Damian and closer to Cady.

“Can I kiss you? Here?” Cady asks, tapping Janis’ forehead. She doesn’t know what triggered this, yet, and she doesn’t want to overstep. But Janis nods, so she pulls her close and peppers kisses against her temple. “You’re okay now, they’re gone.”

Elijah gets a little closer now that Janis is no longer in tears, sitting across the alley against the other wall.

“Did they-did they do anything? To you?” Janis chokes quietly, checking over Cady for any injuries and her face for any hint of sadness. Elijah snorts. “What?”

“Cady cussed their asses out,” Elijah responds. “She went off, even I was scared. They didn’t have a chance to get anything in edgewise.”

“That’s not- not safe,” Janis whispers anxiously. “Wh-why?”

“Shh, darling, I know it was a bad idea,” Cady says, blushing slightly at Elijah’s summation of the events. She just said whatever came to her. “But they hurt you. I’m not gonna let anyone get away with that. Nothing happened, and I won’t do that again.”

Janis looks warily to Damian, who gives her a sad nod. Cady gives a weak grin watching their apparent psychic connection.

“When I was-well. The first-the first time,” Janis begins shakily. “I was-was fourteen. Stupid. I-I made f-fun of them. And-and-and…”

She breaks down again, crying into Cady’s shoulder gently. Damian asks her if he can tell the story for her, and she nods.

“She kind of taunted them. I did too, it was funny for a while,” he says quietly. “But then one of them got really angry. He got them all to yell at us a lot louder, and Janis was obviously still kind of sensitive to the whole d-slur thing. Which they noticed, so they yelled that over and over. And then he threw a rock, and it hit her. She had a bruise for almost a month, it almost broke her arm.”

“Oh god, love,” Cady whispers in sad shock. “I’m so sorry.”

“That guy was arrested, but the rest of them weren’t. And he got out pretty quickly, unfortunately. His church paid his bail,” Damian growls. “We’ve tried to avoid them since.”

“Was he there?” Cady asks him quietly.

“No,” Damian says with a shake of his head. “But it was similar enough to what happened last time. She wasn’t right for a long time after it happened. And it makes sense she’s traumatized a little.”

Cady nods sadly and cuddles her girlfriend closer. It’s so hot, but Janis is crying so hard into her shoulder that she can’t think about anything else.

“Shh, darling, I’m so sorry,” Cady says quietly, rocking her girlfriend from side to side. “You’re safe, I’m safe. All of us are safe, nobody got hurt this time. Everything’s okay, I promise.”

Janis nods gently against her and tries to calm down, matching Cady’s slow, deep breathing as best she can and inhaling her comforting scent of rosewater, cherries, and books. They all mingle in an enchanting aroma around Cady, and Janis can’t get enough.

After another few minutes she stops crying again, and is just sniffling quietly in Cady’s hold.

“Okay?” Cady asks quietly. Janis nods gently again. “Good. Do you want to go fix your makeup or stay here a while longer?”

“You could do both,” Damian shrugs, pulling out a pack of makeup wipes and a few basic products. “What? You never know what you might need.”

“Gay,” Elijah teases. Damian pokes his tongue out at him.

Cady takes a few of the wipes and tenderly swipes the mascara and streaky remnants of a pride flag from Janis’ face. Her lipstick survived, so she leaves that. “Look up, dearest.”

Janis does, so she gently swipes on a new coat of eyeliner and several layers of mascara, as Janis likes it to be. “Thank you.” She says quietly, blinking a few times to get everything in place once Cady finishes.

“You’re welcome,” Cady responds with a kiss to her cheek. “Do you want to go home? You’ve been through it today.”

“No,” Janis replies instantly. “I-I went home last time. I let them get to me. I can’t do it again.”

“Okay,” Cady says. “If you’re sure you’re okay.”

Janis nods and stands up, brushing over her cheeks to try and help any remaining tear tracks fade. Cady, Damian, and Elijah stand as well.

“Oh, hang on a second,” Cady says hastily, taking her bag off again and rooting through it. She pulls out Janis’ pride flag and ties it gently around her neck so she has a cape like the rest of them. “It came off your face. You need another one.”

Janis grins weakly and squeezes her hand, leading them out of the alley and back to the festival.

“Hey,” Cady says quietly as they follow Damian and Elijah back closer to the entrance. Janis looks at her with a questioning hum, still not really in a mood to speak. Cady holds their intertwined hands up. “I love you.” She squeezes Janis’ hand three times, one squeeze for each word.

Janis smiles and leans in for a quick kiss. She looks around anxiously before she does, but the fact that she’s even willing to do so at all is frankly a miracle. “I love you too.” She squeezes Cady back four times, following the same pattern.

Eventually they get close to the area where they had painted the rocks earlier. And Cady gets an idea.

“Darling, will you be okay if I leave for a few minutes? I think I left something back that way,” she says to throw Janis off slightly. Janis pouts but nods and picks up a bit of speed to catch up with Damian. He screams and whirls around when she taps him on the shoulder, and Cady muffles laughter into her hand as she loops around a building and runs over to the booth.

“Oh, hello! Welcome back, are you here to do some more?” The kind lady asks.

“Um, yes, do you have any that are like that one?” Cady asks, pointing to one of the ones she decorated earlier. “And could I maybe keep this one?”

“I’m really not supposed to, but I don’t see why not. Our gardens aren’t that big,” the lady shrugs, handing over a rock of a similar size and shape.

“Thank you!” Cady calls, squeezing out all the colors she’ll need and running to hide from her little group. She copies the design she wants, and grins when it turns out even better this time. The paint dries within ten minutes, so she holds it carefully as she returns her supplies and takes her time returning to Janis.

Once it’s dry enough, she tucks it into her backpack and rejoins her friends and girlfriend.

She finds them by the cupcakes again. Damian seems very pleased with his lemon transgender pride flag one, Elijah got a cookies and cream demisexual one, and Janis seems content with another lesbian pride one since she gets this one all to herself.

“Hey, love,” Cady greets, once again leaning in and taking a small nibble of her cupcake. Janis whines in defeat, but turns to greet her with a smile.

“You’re a thief,” she gripes jokingly, kissing Cady’s cheek.

“A cute thief,” Cady responds.

“You got me there,” Janis chuckles. “Did you find your thing?”

“Yep! All good,” Cady says. “Now you have frosting on your nose.”

Janis scrunches her face up to see, making Cady giggle. She leans in to kiss it off, returning the favor Janis gave earlier.

“Jan, are you done?” Damian asks around the last mouthful of his cupcake. Janis takes the last bite of hers and nods, standing up to throw the wrappers in the nearby bin. Cady sneakily puts their backpack on Janis’ shoulders. She looks at her oddly, but puts her arms through to carry it around.

“Should we leave? I think we’ve done all there is to do,” Elijah says. “And I want ice cream.”

Janis perks up at the mention of ice cream. She’s lactose intolerant, but will be damned if it keeps her from enjoying her favorite cold treat.

“Janis, no,” Cady says. “You get sorbet.” Janis pouts, pulling her own puppy eyes pleadingly. Resist, Cady. “Fine, we’ll stop somewhere and get you your lactose pills.”

Janis thinks for a second before giving a begrudging nod. She’d rather not deal with a stomachache on top of everything else today, maybe her lactose pills are a good compromise.

“Good, come on,” Cady says. Janis shrieks in surprise as she picks her up piggyback style and starts following Damian and Elijah to the gates. “What?”

“When did you get so strong, babe?” Janis asks, clinging to her shoulders as Cady grips her thighs.

“You’re not that heavy, Jay,” Cady chuckles, adjusting her grip slightly. “And I did grow up in Africa. I carried a lot of water around.”

“Are you from Africa, baby, really? I had no idea,” Janis teases.

“I will drop you,” Cady threatens in retaliation. “If you don’t appreciate my services.”

“No, I appreciate them,” Janis says hastily, clinging to her tighter. She rests her chin on Cady’s shoulder and squishes their cheeks together. The rhythm of their steps nearly lulls her to sleep. “‘S nice.”

“Good,” Cady giggles. “You’re so cute.”

“No,” Janis whines, turning her head away to hide her blush. “That’s not how this is supposed to go.”

Cady laughs again. “Well, it’s how it’s going, so I suggest you learn to live with it. I think you’re absolutely adorable.”

“Why?” Janis pouts. “I spent so much time trying to make myself not cute.”

“Because you just are. Your eyes are so big, and you care so much about the people you can be bothered to give a shit about, and the way you stick your tongue out when you try to focus just… hurts me, almost,” Cady says, listing a few things. “And you love cuddles and when I hold you, and you still blush every time I call you Jellybean, and you pout when you get tired, and-“

“Okay, okay,” Janis says desperately, cutting her off so she can calm down. Her face is bright red by this point. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Cady says, depositing her safely just outside the car. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Janis says, leaning in for a kiss.

“Oh my god, get in, losers!” Damian yells far too loudly. Janis and Cady both laugh and slide into the backseat.

————-

“You have an ice cream mustache,” Janis chuckles at her girlfriend once their tasty snack is finished. “Come here.”

Cady reaches for her, and Janis presses their lips together contently, the flavors of chocolate and strawberry mingling on their tongues.

“There,” Janis says once they finally pull back. Damian and Elijah went inside to browse the candy for sale, so she doesn’t have to worry about being scolded for kissing Cady so aggressively.

“Thanks,” Cady giggles. “Oh, I have something for you.”

“Huh?” Janis says confusedly as Cady takes the backpack back from her and starts rooting through it. Cady pulls out her rock and holds it behind her back.

“You have to promise not to laugh at it, I did my best,” Cady demands. Janis nods in confusion and holds her hands out for her gift. Her brows furrow for a split second when Cady drops the stone in them, but she smiles widely when she turns it over to see what it’s been decorated with.

“The rainbow lion,” she says happily, tracing a tender finger over a piece of his mane.

“I went back and made another one for you, the lady let me keep it,” Cady says. “Do you get it?”

“No, I didn’t know there was something to get,” Janis says. Cady sits next to her on the bench and smiles as Janis leans onto her shoulder.

“A group of lions is called a pride,” Cady says quietly. “And you’re in my pride. In more ways than one. I love you, so you’re in my group. And I’m so, so proud of you. For just… being you. And being here. And letting me love you.”

Janis pulls back, and Cady notices her eyes brimming with tears as she suddenly tackles Cady in a tight hug. Cady squeezes her back just as tightly.

“I love you so much,” Janis sniffles. “Thank you.”

“I love you too,” Cady says, stroking down Janis’ braid. “Oh, darling, don’t cry, I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s okay,” Janis chuckles through her tears. “Good cry this time.”

“Ah, okay,” Cady says, gently rubbing up and down Janis’ back as her girlfriend moves to sit on her lap. The sun is finishing its journey for the day, the stars are just barely visible and the horizon is still bathed in varying shades of pink and orange and purple. “Happy Pride, darling.”

“Happy Pride, Peanut.”

I’m glad I’m in yours.

well i’ve had quite a bit of excitement trying to get this posted, so i hope you enjoyed!

requests are still paused, but i am hoping to get them re-opened in the next few weeks. nearly there.

thanks for reading!

lots of love,

ezzy

#cadnis #paint by numbers #space safari #cady heron x janis sarkisian #cady x janis #cady heron #janis sarkisian #damian hubbard #mean girls #mean girls broadway #mean girls musical

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exploding-carrots · 4 years ago

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I’ve been wanting to draw or write out my ‘future’ Bottom ideas for a while but haven’t gotten around to it. So here’s a long post of some head canons and a general story line of them vaguely developing as people at some point set after the live shows. If anything this is just sort of my personal AU for the characters getting together. Mostly focused on the progression of Richie and Eddies relationship and my thoughts on both of them being trans

- They’re both trans, (a lot of Ades characters give me trans dudes vibes but that is 70% me wanting to time travel and body swap w the man) Eddie is a bi trans dude (who medically transitioned young, but is not necessarily out as either) and Richie is a closeted/repressed bi trans woman who begins to come to terms w it during the whole island era

- Richie is also intersex, which while yeah is sort of canon in a mean way, is sort of important to me for the character 🤭 However she is not aware of the fact

- Eddie is dyslexic and has ADHD which both contribute to him struggling on and off (which was really just a gag they went with when funny) with reading/writing depending on how well he can focus on it at any given time (example: the Edies Bra sign vs the grave stone). I am not even going to attempt to say what is going on w Richie but the woman is a mess of unresolved issues and trauma complications

- After everything they go through in the live shows they do somehow make it back to the flat which is unexplainably the exact way they left it.

- Every single joke about Richie going off and fucking dudes from the live show is taken as fact. It is the most poorly kept secret amongst the cast. They literally do not talk about it unless Eddie is trying to make a point or piss off Richie

- Eventually Eddie IS trying to piss off Richie and does bring up everything about her sex life and the clothes, and... well everything else. After a ridiculous fight it somehow turns into an almost semi-serious conversation. Eddie makes the assumption that Richie is gay and Richie counters with the fact that she is genuinely interested in women but it’s a hell of a lot easier to get attention from specific types of men. Gets some wheels turning in both of their heads

- Personality wise they never really calm down, but they do start to slow down a little bit as it takes them longer and longer to recover from their fights. Obviously there is still the odd dart to the forehead or gentle push down the stairs but the ridiculous games and completions they make up take center stage

- they get weed at some point (Dave Hedgehog and Spudgun seems like a feasible source, because let’s be honest if Richie and Eddie tried to buy weed it would not work) that leads to all sorts of embarrassment because Eddie gets crossfaded as all get out and starts hitting on Richie. Which while having a precedent in their history (I mean, the first episode gives us that right away) takes on a new sort of meaning once the concept of bisexuality has been rolling around in their heads. Nothing particularly saucy happens at this point Bc they are high, drunk, and old but all of the actual acknowledgement of feelings start to really develop after this point

- in an attempt to do something with her time Richie picks up sewing and picks up where she left off with the wrap skirt and rubber underwear she made on the island. Starts to really develop the little wardrobe she wears when she’s alone. It’s a mix of the same awful button up shirts she always wears and some dresses and skirts along with a couple pairs of sexier (for Richie at least) under garments

- eventually Eddie comes home while Richie is still in her feminine clothing. Eddies Reaction is different from the first time he saw her dressed up that way since now there is a precedent. Eddies approach is much more “playful teasing” and fake surprise than it was previously.

- Slowly Richie starts dressing up around the flat more and more often as opposed to just when alone. Eddie ramps up with the pet names and husband/house wife dynamic they already had going on.

- THE MOMENT is when Eddie is leaving the flat to go to the bar and there is an ‘accidental’ kiss on the cheek along with his usual good byes. Eddie realizes what has happened immediately and bolts before Richie can say anything. Richie has a moment of “teehee that was nice” still in her little fucking house wife head space before it catches up w her.

- Richie panics, paces around the flat, gets changed like 8 times, cooks dinner, throws it away, takes it out of the trash, paces more, breaks like 8 things, and essentially just fluctuates between “Ooo Eddie fancies me” to “oh fuck the bastard is making fun of me again” to “it was an accident and Eddie is going to make it into a fight” back to “ooo Eddie fancies Me~”

- eventually Eddie comes home, pissed to hell and back way later than he’d normally come home. Richies passed out on the couch. Eddie wakes her up by pushing her over on the couch so he can sit. Eddie says something along the lines of “I’m fucking drunk so I’m only going to say this one” before saying some incomprehensible drunken rambling and pulling Richie into an awkward full kiss. It’s a nice moment for maybe about 5 seconds before he stands up again, pulls a pint out of his jacket, chugs it and says something about drunkenly passing out before doing just that across the coffee table.

- Richie just sort of gawks at Eddie sleeping across the table before giddily tossing a blanket over him and heading off to actually go to bed.

- relationship wise this really just sort of introduces a sexual/physical dynamic to their relation while ramping up their camp version of domestic life

- it’s Spudgun and Dave Hedgehog who actually say something to Eddie about it. They’ve always been in on the “oh look, it’s Eddies terrifying wife” thing. Probably only actually say something about it after the 2nd or 3rd actual display of physical affection they witness. It’s more of one of them asking Eddie if Richie really is his wife (in that half aware sort of way they observe things). This alone doesn’t change much, but it does takes a lot to get through to any of these repressed bastards

- Richie grows accustomed to the more feminine/soft pet names that Eddie uses for her. At one point Eddie uses more traditionally masculine terms which sets off “oh actually I am not a fan of that” in Richies head and leads her to asking Eddie to not refer to her that way. Leads to an awkward half coming out on Richies part. Eddie does genuinely switch up how he refers to Richie at this point and her gender just sort of becomes an silent fact that they both respect. Everyone else sort of knows them as those weirdos who have some sort of common law marriage going on and it’s not really questioned. This is the point where Richie starts to earnestly medically transition without really saying to much about, canonically she has been on estrogen pills before (even if it was a ‘mistake’)

- End game is essentially just them being casual about their identities and relationships in a unspoken sort of “well that’s just how it is” way that naturally sort of bleeds into a the other aspects of their lives.

- Additional note on Eddie being trans: Richie is already vaguely aware of this fact Bc obviously they’ve been seen what the other is working with at one point or another but the fact that she is unaware that she herself is intersex and has a skewed sort of idea about genitals and peoples bodies Richie genuinely does not think about it all too much. Eddie assumes that she knows, especially as they get older and casually refers to being trans (in my mind probably during the entire “Edwina” disguise thing. I imagine Eddie wearing the dress came down to the clothing size and some off hand comment about him “having experience”, which is total shit Bc even before he transitioned Eddie never presented that way). That’s probably around the point that things start to click in Richies head about Eddies identity and she starts comparing and contrasting Eddie to other ppl and such.

#drug and alcohol mention #bbc bottom #bottom bbc #headcanons #the gay section #well in this case more of the t4t bi section

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comingoutofthecauldron · 5 years ago

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let’s talk about lesbophobia in fandom

i don’t like to use the word “lesbophobia” unironically because of all the gross radfem terfy connotations, so i will clarify right off the bat that i am neither a terf nor an aphobe and that if you are i want you off my blog like, right now. unfortunately, the meaning of lesbophobia has been so warped by alt right lesbians that seeing it in an unironic context makes me, a lesbian, uncomfortable, which speaks volumes in itself. so to clarify, lesbophobia is essentially homophobia with a pinch of sexism thrown into the mix, and it’s running rampant in supposed safe spaces and, more relevantly, fandom.

/i’d also like to clarify that i’m not only speaking on lesbophobia, but also the general disgust and disdain for all wlw in fandom, and am using it as a sort of umbrella term/

lesbophobia and disdain for wlw has been around forever, but whilst gay positivity, mlm and mlm ships have been steadily increasing in popularity within fandom over time, wlw and wlw ships have remained perpetual underdogs. why? because lesbophobia has become a fandom within itself. both in and outside of fandom, we see instances of casual lesbophobia every single day—from aggression towards wlw to something as simple and prevalent as the complete and utter lack of sapphic ships and characters in media. hatred of lesbians and wlw is practically a trend, and it’s seeping in through the cracks of fandoms who are already facing issues with minorities and marginalized groups (i.e. racism, ableism). if you honestly think that lesbophobia isn’t prevalent as hell in fandom right now, you’re either not a wlw, you’re not all that involved in fandom, or you’re dumb as shit.

just look at ships. in almost every single fandom, the ratio of mlm ships to sapphic ships is ridiculously unbalanced. people are quick to ship male characters who so much as smile at each other (and i don’t condemn that) but would never do the same for two women—even on the rare occasion that the ship is actually canon. i once wrote a wlw fanfic for a [predominantly straight] fandom, and received messages like this gem:

on the flip side of that, if there is a sapphic ship in canon or fanon, it is often fetishized and sexualised to a disturbing degree. there will be double the amount of nsfw art and fics, and ninety percent of it will be derogatory and fetishized as hell. having been actively involved in several fandoms over the past few years (and currently a content creator in one), i’ve seen instances of all this hundreds of times. people go crazy for mlm ships, but the second you say you ship/prefer a wlw ship, there’s always someone at the ready with, “i think all ships are great!” or “it’s not a contest” or “i prefer [insert m/m or m/f ship] actually” or “they’re my brotp!/why can’t you just let them be friends?”. not only do lesbians and wlw not get to have any rep in media, any rep that they try to create for themselves in fandom just gets attacked or ruined. this is so detrimental not only to all wlw, but especially to younger wlw who will end up being indoctrinated into this belief that their sexuality is something dirty, something that can never be tender and sweet but rather something that deserves to be preyed upon.

building on that, let’s talk about engagement. i run an instagram account (where i have a significantly bigger following) as well as this blog for my fandom, where i post the content i create (mainly text posts). when i first started creating content, i made a lot for a relatively unpopular wlw ship, in which both girls are canonically romantically involved with a dude—though one of them is canonically pan. their canonical m/f ships are both very popular, and i noticed that my engagement was dropping every time i posted them, so i eventually just stopped. it wasn’t even a conscious decision; i merely resigned myself to the fact that the fandom didn’t want to see sapphic ships, and some people would even go as far as to condemn them. for reference, my instagram posts get an average of about 500 likes per post (popular ones usually exceeding 1k), but when i post this ship, my engagement drops to about 250 likes. similarly, my tumblr text posts have an average of about 140 notes per post (popular ones usually reaching up to 750), but my wlw content rarely surpasses 100. this just feeds the cycle of wlw never getting rep: if, like me, content creators become disincentivised by the lack of engagement with their sapphic content, they’re more likely to stop making/posting it, leading to further lack of rep—and when new content creators try to rectify that, they face the same problems.

and then, of course, there’s the treatment of actual wlw in fandom. my best example of this is when my friend and i made an anti account on instagram (the first instagram anti account in that fandom), our bio saying something like “salty and bitter lesbians being salty and bitter”, and received an onslaught of lesbophobic insults and threats from angry stans within hours. (tw: r*pe) one commenter even went as far as to tell us that they wanted us to get r*ped. as well as this, i’ve seen so many instances of people using slurs against lesbians in arguments/in anons, often for no apparent reason other than they feel that they have the right. when i first mentioned i was a lesbian on instagram, my account only had about 200 followers, and within a day i lost 20. i also lose followers whenever i post f/f ships, not quite to that extent but enough for it to be noticeable, on top of the aforementioned engagement dips. in the face of all this adversity, i think a lot of wlw turn to mlm ships because they’re the closest thing we have to actual rep, but when we do we get accused of fetishizing them by the same people who fetishize us. there’s an endless list of double standards that non-wlw have been upholding for years, and i can firmly say that i’m really fucking sick of it. because of our sexuality, we will never be allowed to enjoy something without someone labelling it or us as dirty or otherwise problematic, when to them, the only problematic thing about us is that we aren’t pleasing men.

as i mentioned before, the lack of rep for wlw in media is appallingly consistent, and part of that stems from tokenism. in a lot of modern mainstream media, you’ll have one, maybe two lgbt characters, and nine times out of ten those characters are white cis male gays. of course, there are exceptions to this, but generally, that’s it. script writers and authors (especially cishets) seem to have this mentality of, “oh, well, we gave them one, that’s sure to be enough!”, which means that on the off chance you do get your gay rep, the likelihood of also receiving wlw or any other kind of rep becomes practically non-existant. this belief that all marginalized groups are the same and that one represents all is what leads to misrepresentation on top of lack of rep, which is what makes tokenism so dangerous. if you treat your only gay character badly, you are essentially treating every single gay person badly in that universe. so not only is lesbophobia and disdain for wlw harmful to sapphic women via their exclusion in media, it’s also harming those minorities who do get rep. when people try to defend lesbophobic source material, that’s when fandom starts to get toxic. the need for critical thinking has never been more apparent and it has also never been less appeased—and wlw are getting hit hard by it, as always.

finally, a pretty big driving factor of lesbophobia is, ironically, lesbians. my lesbian friends and i often joke that though everyone seems to hate us, no one hates lesbians more than lesbians do. though i’d say it’s most prevalent on tumblr, i see traces of it all over the internet. the growth of alt right lesbian movements is not only reinforcing hatred for lesbians, but also reinforcing hatred for bi and pan women. here you have these terrible lesbians using their platforms to express their disgust for bi/pan women, for aces and aros, for trans women/nb lesbians, and people see them and say, “gosh, lesbians are just awful.” and just like that, all of us are evil. occasionally, lesbian blogs that i follow get put on terf blocklists for no other reason than the fact that they have “lesbian” in their bio. and the lesbians that actually deserve to be on those blocklists? they’re too busy spewing misinformation about trans women and bi women to care, boosted up by their alt right friends in an ever-expanding movement. i’ve found that this heavily influences fandom on tumblr, lesbians often getting branded as “biphobic” when they hc a female character as a lesbian rather than bi or pan. this criticism of both lesbians and wlw by lesbians and non-wlw alike only ever allows lesbophobia to grow, both in and out of fandom. that said, lesbians aren’t to blame for their own discrimination; rather, many of us have been conditioned into subconsciously endorsing it after spending our entire lives hearing heterosexual platitudes about lesbians and sapphic relationships. homophobic cishets are and always have been the nexus of this oppression—the only difference is that now they can hide behind alt right lesbians.

one thing has been made apparent to me throughout my time in fandom, and that thing is that no one likes to see men “underrepresented”. people hate sapphic ships and lesbians so much because there is no room for men, and men Do Not Like That. so, like the worms that they are, they slither their way in, be it through fetishization or condemnation of wlw characters and ships, and they ruin whatever good things we have going for us. the thing about worms, though, is that they’re easy enough to crush if you’re wearing the right shoes.

so to all my bi/pan gals and lesbian pals: put on your doc martens, because we’ve got ourselves some lesbophobes to stomp on.

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