#everyone should just ignore those fucking asks in their inbox cuz it’s not even fucking worth it

[shinylights]

.

[asknightqueendany]

To me, The thing about Dany character that makes her so complex, interesting and at the same time loved and hated is that she is not the usual perfect fantasy character who is strong, super smart, funny, brave and all of that. I mean sure, Dany is smart, but she is also very impulsive, she is resourceful, but not the scheming type. She is brave and fierce (probably the bravest character ever created to me) but she does show her fears. She is strong but she does have vulnerabilities that make her relatable. She is far from boring but she is not the funny type who always cracks a joke, as she is very intense and dramatic. I love the fact that GrrM creates such multidimensional characters. And even if many people people will probably disagree with me, the thing that stands out more about her is that she is the most compassionate (even if sometimes ruthless), idealistic and kind character in ASOIAF.

Don’t know when you sent this anon but sorry for the late answer as I know I haven’t been on in a while and whenever I am, my inbox never shows new asks even when there are new ones. 

Anyway, while my gut says this is an ask from someone who is genuinely Dany neutral, it sounds like one of those backhanded compliment things. And a lot of this just, I’m sorry, doesn’t ring true for me?

1) When is Dany impulsive? I mean, in order to give a character a label like that, you realize this has to be something that is a regular occurrence, right? The only thing coming to my head right now is Dany claiming the Lhazareen women in AGOT cuz that was entirely unplanned. But... seeing as how she saved people and seeing as how this is the only example coming to mind right now, I wouldn’t call Dany “impulsive” just for this one act. Everything else she does, she usually has a plan. She might not reveal that plan to her advisors or even the audience before she acts, but George usually writes things in a way so that we know Dany at least knew ahead of time what she was going to do. Like with the Unsullied in Astapor, when she burned MMD to hatch the dragons, etc. We didn’t see her thinking and making plans ahead of time, but we know that she had been planning them when said plans are acted out. 

2) A character showing their fears is usually never looked down on and actually, antis like to argue that Dany is arrogant and not self-reflective, which would imply not showing her fears. So idk why you even consider this a “negative” about her. I’ve literally never seen an anti make this argument or anyone say they dislike Dany because she shows her fears. Again, most of those scenes where we do see Dany express her fears are largely ignored by that side of the fandom. And, after all, “Can a [wo]man still be brave if [s]he’s afraid?” “That is the only time a [wo]man can be brave.”

Same thing with Dany’s “vulnerabilities”. Antis never typically use them as a negative against her because they like to pretend Dany thinks she’s perfect and therefore utterly unrelatable. 

3) Using “humor” as a negative against a woman in any context is usually sexist, no matter which way you swing it. Just, no. And Dany does say funny things. She has way more personality in the books than in the show. Though show Dany will live in my heart forever.

4) Everyone is intense and dramatic. Tyrion killed his father on the crapper for saying the word “whore” repeatedly. 

The “negatives” people often use as reason to hate Dany are just... stupid made up shit. It’s fine to dislike a character, just fucking be honest about it. And antis never are. So they have to make up dumb things about Dany that aren’t true in order to justify not liking her. And often, their criteria are things they also do not apply to other characters. Like, impulsivity. Sure, if you hate impulsive characters and you miss Dany’s nuisances and think she’s impulsive, that would make sense. But then you should dislike Tyrion for being very impulsive because he actually frequently is. And yet, those people usually don’t mind Tyrion, or any other character. The hatred for her is almost always for other reasons that are entirely unrelated to who Dany is and what actions she takes. It’s almost always because of another character people believe Dany takes the spotlight from. And I’m tired of people pretending otherwise. 

[cosmicbash]

I hadn’t even thought about MTBMB delux I would die if they collab on it that would be so sick

And yes I completely agree!! Love EST 99% of the time but they need to leave Pete alone like obviously him and Kells are still fine

And the clip was so good and so funny and it’s been known that Pete and Kells are both Em fans

I totally get the whole beef rehashing being good publicity but it’s just so tiring like the whole marketing TTMD by using Kells and Megan’s relationship

And I think it would be even more publicity if Kells was featured Bc everyone would be freaking out

Also I think the whole people hating on MGK as a rapper won’t ever be completely over but Em actually saying something/collabing would help

Like imagine Em retweeting what Kells said about corny headlines

Also sorry if this is a lot!! I just feel like your opinions are mostly aligned with how I think and feel about these things and you tend to have a lot more Em knowledge than I do! But lemme know if I’m bothering you :)

I'm really crossing my fingers for a MTBMB deluxe instead of a whole new album because goddammit it was so FUCKING good. Genuinely a first for me where I loved EVERY single song on an album the first listen through. And the quarentine really ruined a chance for it to really shine with more music vids or even a tour/press thing.

From what I've seen of EST they are all really ride or die, which is GREAT! But also ironically that means a good deal of them also display that crazy Stan behavior they complain about Em fans for having. Kells doesn't NEED his fans to play attack dog and jump at anyone who THEY think might have possibly wronged him no matter how minor. It just makes him look bad in the long run. As sucky as it his fan behavior DOES reflect badly on artists in situations like this. I get some ire in est spaces because I'm an Em fan but I found Kells through the Em beef and I'm not gonna suddenly throw away like a decade plus of me liking an artist and his music because I also really like his new beef of the year. 😂😂 like?? Cmon. I aint Em and I aint Kells so why the fuck should I care about their beef? It doesnt affect me in any way shape or form and Kells himself was an Em fan before it all went down. I'm not gonna pretend to hate either of their music because they dont like eachother. They very obviously couldn't give two shits if their fans overlap too. I don't see Em calling out fake stans or Kells doing the same. (Shit, the majority of other rappers he's collabed with are Em fans guys. Cant you respect him enough to realize he doesnt want his fans to be sheeple who just follow the herd blindly??)

But anyway, EST attacking Pete is a super dick move towards Kells. Thats his friend. Someone he cared about enough he literally dropped everything and got on airplane to go to see and support when unnecessary internet hate put him in a dark place. Like I-- I don't even think its worth wasting text to explain how dumb people hating on Pete look right now 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

The TTMD marketing focusing heavily on his and Megans relationship is something I would need a whole ass post by itself for to talk about hahaha. ((Gonna clarify right now before an assumption is made that I love Megan and I'm very happy for her and Kells relationship ✌ doesn't mean I can't be annoyed with how obviously some member of their teams is going way too overboard with milking it right now. Its a smart ass pr move for sure. Would be a waste NOT to use their combined star power and the buzz around their relationship, still a lil annoying and tone deaf at some points) (cough, cough, just like how the Em beef was milked by both sides until the teet was sore. Cough)

Kells being featured on and Em track would be 👍👍. Just feels like the best way to round off the beef and officially end it. (Specifically kells on an em album though. Anyone hoping for the opposite and to get an em feature on kells next album is gonna be wishing for a long time I think. Em will want to have kells feature on his first imo.)

Kells is always gonna get hate for being a rapper. Even if Em came out and called him great and did multiples features/collabs/ fucking tours with him. White rappers will always get hate in the hiphop world. Especially those who branch out to other genres and just dont fit this mold the hiphop community wants. Look at all the hate Em gets! In Ocotober HH twitter had a fucking meltdown and started a hate fest trending about Em all because of a RUMOR he might drop an album. Even though Em has shown his skill and worth and been recognized by the other greats he'll always get hate and struggle. Just how it is. Kells grew up getting hated on for the same reasons as Em did when he started rapping so he should know by now that it's always gonna be like that and the best thing to do is just enjoy his craft and ignore the haters. Cuz they will always be there.

And don't worry! I'm never bothered by asks or someone wanting to chat about this kinda stuff. I'm not one to go out of my way and make big posts about my opinions just on their own so gives me a chance to rant ahaha. My inbox is ALWAYS open for a reason ♡♡

[wosoimagines]

Roller Coasters and Popsicles

So, I’m back. This is the first story I’m going to be posting today. Keep sending me requests. I’m getting all of them and I’m working on them. I’ve got most of the ones that are in my inbox jotted down into my notebook. You guys can send me ones for certain players too. I get a lot of requests for baby R on the USWNT, and I love those, but I don’t want you guys to feel like that’s all I write.

prompt: I love your writing my dude!! If you don’t mind could you write one where Reader is the youngest on the USWNT and also the smartest and goes to Harvard. She’s always ranting about random stuff to the team and one day after a hard practice she’s ranting about something random. But someone snaps at her and so she never does it again. Flash forward and everyone notices she doesn’t talk as much and they all feel bad cuz they were just tired and didn’t mean to make their baby feel bad.

warnings: Swearing.

words: 1879

(Y/N) POV

It was weird being for me to actually be preparing for the World Cup. I had been with the national team since I was 17, but it was still hard for me to grasp now that I was an 18-year-old soon-to-be 19-year-old. The team was really easy to get along with for the most part. I was sure that it was mainly because the team saw me as the baby and they just loved being overprotective.

With a family as big, weird, and dysfunctional as we were, it wasn’t too surprising to me that they loved to be overprotective. The whole team could be that way with all of the younger players. Because of that, I always had to remind them that I didn’t want them to go easy on me.

“Come on, Sonnett. You haven’t been able to stop me all day,” I ran past the defender after getting another ball into the goal. I was aware that it wouldn’t be this easy to get a goal at the World Cup.

Sonnett grumbled as we both ran to get set up again. Jill had us scrimmaging today and I wanted to take advantage of going up against the women who made up the best team in the world. Especially since I was the only one on the team that was in college. It was why I had to give every practice everything I had, and I couldn’t allow the others to go easy on me.

Practice never got harder when I went against Sonnett and it didn’t completely surprise me when she had to stay back and talk with Jill. I waited around for her since we normally sat together on the bus. When Sonnett got out of the shower, I joined her side as we were the last two heading to the bus.

“You should get a popsicle,” I said causing Sonnett to look at me. “I eat popsicles all the time after I have a rough practice or game. Always helps me. I guess that’s why I keep eating them.”

“I don’t want a popsicle, (Y/N),” Sonnett said. I slowly nodded and I didn’t blame her. I only had popsicles after I had rough games or practices because it was something my Dad had started to do with me.

“Did you know that popsicles were created by complete accident?” I asked as I knew my eyes had to light up like they always did when I got to tell anyone about the facts that I knew. “A boy named Frank Epperson created the first one on accident in 1905 when-”

“I don’t care about your stupid facts, (Y/N)!” Sonnett cut me off as I looked at her. “I don’t care that you know everything that you do, (Y/N)! I don’t care that you go to Havard! And I don’t care that you’re the smartest one here! If I wanted to know the fucking history behind popsicles, I would have asked Siri instead of you. At least she isn’t as annoying.”

I ducked my head down as I refused to let her see the tears that the harsh words were brought to my eyes. Sonnett stalked on ahead of me as I wiped at my eyes before pulling my headphones out. I pulled them on so that the others on the bus wouldn’t talk to me on our way back to the hotel. Sonnett climbed onto the bus before I did and I saw her sitting by Lindsey, so I slid into a seat by myself upfront.

I was the first one off of the bus when we pulled up to the hotel. I kept my head down as I headed into the hotel with my headphones still on. I just wanted to get to my room to take a nap before we went out for team dinner.

Tierna POV

I sat next to (Y/N) throughout dinner, but it seemed like I was the only one who she would talk to. She stayed pretty quiet throughout dinner. The most surprising was that we hadn’t gotten any of her weird facts that we normally heard from her.

“You ok?” I nudged (Y/N). She looked at me a little confused but nodded. “Haven’t heard any facts from you tonight.”

“Guess I’ve just run out,” (Y/N) shrugged. I furrowed my own brow in confusion as (Y/N) turned back to listen to what Pinoe was saying. I couldn’t help through the rest of the night as I paid a bit more attention to (Y/N). She wasn’t even talking a lot much less telling anyone her little weird facts we had started to know her by.

I stuck close to the younger college player when we headed back to the hotel. I noticed that she was also hesitant to hang out with the rest of us. She did drift closer to Tobin and even A.D. throughout the night. It wasn’t entirely surprising since (Y/N) was closer with the Thorns players on the team since she grew up in Portland so she was in Portland all the time when she wasn’t at Harvard. It was a little surprising, however, that (Y/N) avoided Sonnett and, by extension, Lindsey.

Eventually, Alex forced (Y/N) to head to bed. Alex turned to have me make sure that (Y/N) got to bed since we were sharing a room this camp. I had assured her that (Y/N) would get to bed before 1:00 am. (Y/N) didn’t even seem like fighting the bedtime that Alex had set for her. (Y/N) just seemed off.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Has anyone else noticed the change in (Y/N)?” I asked as I sat down at the large table to eat breakfast. It was our day off and (Y/N) had decided to sleep in today so, I was leaving our room when she was getting up. It was the best time to bring up the unusual behavior from (Y/N) last night. Everyone turned their attention to me.

“What are you talking about?” Kelley asked. I was a little surprised that Kelley and Alex hadn’t noticed the change in (Y/N). The two of them had named themselves as (Y/N)’s moms on the team.

“She didn’t talk a lot last night,” A.D. pointed out.

“So, (Y/N) didn’t talk last night, that’s not unusual,” Crystal said. I rolled my eyes because it seemed that no one else had noticed the change in (Y/N).

“I didn’t hear a fact out of her any last night after dinner,” Tobin said.

“She didn’t say any during dinner either,” I added to draw the attention back to me. “When I asked her about it, she said that she had run out of facts.”

“(Y/N) ran out of facts to tell us?” Kelley asked causing me to nod my head. “Impossible. She’s like the encyclopedia of weird facts.” Alex put a hand on Kelley’s shoulder so that Kelley would lower her voice.

“So what happened?” Alex asked. Sonnett winced when that question was asked, and I wasn’t the only one to notice.

“What did you do?” Kelley turned to Sonnett. It was a little weird to see Kelley trying to get to Sonnett. She would have if Alex wasn’t holding her back. We were all looking at Sonnett. But Sonnett seemed like if she wasn’t sure if she would tell us what had happened or not. “What did you do, Emily?”

“I didn’t mean to. It just happened,” Sonnett defended. Alex let go of Kelley so that the older defender could get into Sonnett’s face.

“What did you do?” Kelley’s voice dropped and we could hear the anger in Kelley’s voice.

“I had a bad day yesterday and I took it out on (Y/N),” Sonnett said. Most of us were throwing glares at Sonnett. Kelley opened her mouth to probably ask Sonnett what exactly had happened, but she didn’t need to. “I couldn’t stop her yesterday at practice and afterward she told me that I should get a popsicle before trying to tell me how popsicles were created.”

“What did you say?” Alex asked with a glare pointed at Sonnett. It was obvious how much Kelley and Alex cared about (Y/N).

“I told her that I didn’t care about her facts or that she went to Harvard,” Sonnett ducked her head down. Some of the others launched their food at the defender in question.

“You’re a dumbass,” Ash called out. Ali slapped Ash’s shoulder but kept a glare pointed at Sonnett.

“You can’t just fucking tell someone that, Emily,” Pinoe added. The others were nodding in agreement. Some that were closer to Sonnett, made a point to hit the defender.

“You’re going to fix this,” Kelley hissed. Sonnett looked up at the older defender. “I don’t care how, but (Y/N) better be her normal self by dinner.”

(Y/N) POV

Today had been a little weird as most everyone on the team had come through to spend some time in mine and Tierna’s room until the past hour. There was a knock on the door and I was going to ignore it, but whoever it was wouldn’t stop.

“I’m coming,” I called out as I rolled out of my bed. I opened the door without looking through the peephole, and I tried to shut the door when I saw who was on the other side. Sonnett stopped me from shutting the door.

“I’m sorry, (Y/N),” Sonnett immediately said. I was still trying to shut the door as she was pushing to keep it open. “I brought you some popsicles since you probably had a bad day after what I said.”

I stopped pushing the door and leaned my head against the door. I groaned but I held my hand out for the popsicles. Sonnett put the box in my hands and I looked at it. Sonnett stayed outside the door. I pulled the door open some more so that Sonnett would come in.

“I shouldn’t have said what I did yesterday,” Sonnett started. “Your facts are stupid and I do care about hearing them. I do care that you go to Harvard. You’re probably the smartest person on this team, you know.”

“Why did you say those things?”

“I had a rough day yesterday. You were just easy to take it out on,” Sonnett looked away from me. I couldn’t help but think that I was the cause of that as well, though. I shut the door as I turned and got back into my bed. I opened the box of popsicles and held one out to Sonnett. Sonnett took the popsicle before joining me on the bed. I smiled before picking out my own popsicle. 

“Tell me something.”

“You know how roller coasters were created?” I didn’t have to wait for Sonnett’s shake of her head because I knew that she didn’t. “They were invented to distract Americans from sin.”

Sonnett shook her head in disbelief. I smiled because she seemed like she really wanted to know about the fact. I couldn’t help but tell her about the history of roller coasters before going back and finishing the history of popsicles as we ate through the box of popsicles.

[lady-divine-writes]

Alas, Poor Yorick! This Is Gonna Suck! (Rated T)

Summary: It's been two years since the Apoca-didn't and Aziraphale and Crowley still aren't a couple - much to Crowley's dismay. Aziraphale has his reasons, but Crowley doesn't feel those apply to them. But if Aziraphale won't listen to him on the subject, maybe he'll listen to their good friend Shakespeare.

-or-

Crowley professes his love for Aziraphale through virtue of a single, passionate kiss and traumatizes a room full of pre-teens in the process. (2932 words)

Notes: Written for the tumblr inbox ask prompt - 'Crowley and Aziraphale perform/inspire Shakespeare'

(AO3)

“Are we really going to do this?” Crowley groans, re-reading the flier Aziraphale had printed for his recent venture, one that he’s managed to strong-arm Crowley into participating in against his will and better judgement.

“Of course we are!” Aziraphale lightly punches Crowley on the shoulder in a gesture that makes the demon lean away suspiciously. “Buck up! It’s going to be fun!”

“Your definition of fun and my definition of fun seem to vary greatly, angel.”

“Look …” Aziraphale rounds up old rags and a bottle of wood polish and begins tidying up a space he has affectionately begun to refer to as his Globe Theater West “… we made a pledge ...”

“You. You made a pledge.”

“... to help support youth theater in Soho. And putting on a performance of Shakespeare is the easiest way to start.”

“You could have donated the play books. That would have been easier.”

Aziraphale peeks up from the bookshelf he’s polishing and glares at the demon reclining a short distance away. “Bite. your. tongue. Besides, whether you realize it or not, we’ve been presented with a golden opportunity.”

“And what’s that?”

“It seems an inordinate amount of young men signed up for my workshop as opposed to young women, so this gives us the perfect excuse to perform Shakespeare’s works the way they were done from the beginning.”

“In a large, open-air theater that smells like horse shit, where a handful of audience members die before the end of the second act?”

“No, where men play most of the roles, including the ladies’ parts.”

“That’s going to go over well.” Crowley chuckles. “Did you set aside enough money to pay for therapy and legal fees? ‘cause you might just need it.”

“Nonsense. And to kick things off, you and I are going to show them how easy it will be.”

Crowley arches a brow. “Is that so?”

“Yes.”

“And what, pray tell, have you chosen for us to perform?”

“Romeo and Juliet,” Aziraphale answers with a wistful sigh.

Crowley lowers his glasses, fixing Aziraphale with a cold, yellow stare. “It better be the scene where they both die.”

“Don’t be ridiculous! We’re going to do an uplifting scene. One that everyone knows and loves. One of the most popular scenes in the play.”

“Them dying is pretty damned popular. Especially among thirteen-year-olds.”

“Yes, but anyone can die.”

Crowley sighs. Without being told, he knows exactly what scene Aziraphale is referring to, and try as he might, there’s no way he’s going to win this argument. If he leaves now, that doesn’t mean he’s getting out of this. Aziraphale can miracle anywhere Crowley ends up with a snap of his fingers.

Or he could bless the front doors so he can’t leave.

He’s not opposed to performing Romeo and Juliet. He’s performed plenty of Shakespeare in his time. But with regard to this scene in particular, there does happen to be one tiny catch.

He stands from his seat and walks over to the bookcase Aziraphale has scrubbed nearly spotless. “I’ve never kissed you before, angel.”

“Neither have I,” Aziraphale replies without looking up. “Kissed you, I mean. But we’ll be actors plying a craft. I’m sure we can do it for the sake of the performance.”

“Is that really how you want your first kiss?”

“I …” Aziraphale stops what he’s doing, kneels up and rests his hands on his thighs “… how do you know it would be my first?”

Crowley shrugs. “Lucky guess.”

“It’s just a kiss.” Aziraphale goes back to his polishing. “Part of the scene. It doesn’t have to mean anything.”

“Oh, it doesn’t have to mean anything,” Crowley snaps sarcastically. “All right then. It won’t mean anything.”

“You don’t have to take a tone with me.”

“Tone? Tone? What tone? There’s no tone. I don’t have a tone.”

But there was a tone, and Crowley couldn’t help having it.

He’d thought that after the Apoca-didn’t, things would change between them. That they’d be together. But every time he brought it up, Aziraphale changed the subject. Eventually the subject simply drifted away. But it’s not that Aziraphale ignored it. He admitted that he was afraid of things changing between them if they took any further steps, but he didn’t exactly specify which changes in particular frightened him. So in order not to lose Crowley altogether, he chose ‘standing still’ to ‘moving forward’.

Crowley understood that sort of, but it still bruised his ego.

More than that - it hurt his feelings.

What Aziraphale said made sense … for humans. But they weren’t humans. And they weren’t invincible. Even though they’d managed to get Heaven and Hell off their backs, that didn’t mean there weren’t targets painted on them.

Immortal they may be, but eternity isn’t assured for anyone.

Crowley could ask poor Ligur about that one.

Or, more to the point, he can’t.

It’s been nearly two years and Crowley still looks over his shoulder from time to time.

In Crowley’s opinion, if there’s something they want to say or do, they should consider doing it now.

“I’m just sayin’, if that’s how you feel about it ...”

“Yes,” Aziraphale says softly, speaking to his own reflection in the gleaming wood. “That’s how I feel about it.”

“End of discussion, I take it?”

“End of discussion.”

“Fan-fucking-tastic, that is.”

“Dearest …” Aziraphale peeks over the side of the bookcase at the persnickety demon pacing between the stacks “… can we please try and make this a pleasant afternoon for the children? No need to get them caught up in our personal melodrama when there’s so much of Shakespeare’s to be explored.”

“Absolutely. No problem at all. Completely pleasant, me. I swear. There’s no alcohol in that scene, if I remember correctly,” Crowley jokes, attempting, in some small measure, to diffuse the tension he helped create.

Aziraphale rewards his efforts with an understanding smile. “None at all.”

“Well ...” Crowley drops down on the sofa and starts pouring himself a drink anyway – the first of many. “This is going to be a long afternoon.”

***

“All right, ladies and gentlemen!” Aziraphale addresses the nine boys and three girls on the roster with a giddy clap. “Welcome, welcome, welcome to our first ever youth theater workshop! I’m so so glad you all could make it! Thank you for your interest!”

“We’re here cuz Adam signed us up,” Wensleydale rats out his friend.

“Not me,” Warlock says. “I don’t bend to the will of my peers.”

“Then why are you here?” Brian asks, not at all impressed with Adam’s recent addition to their group - the dark-haired, occasionally foul-mouthed miscreant with moony eyes for Adam.

Warlock’s gaze falls to his boot as he worries a spot on the floor with his toe. “Nanny made me come.”

Adam elbows Warlock in the side.

Warlock smirks.

Brian rolls his eyes.

“Okay then. I’ve printed up the scene we’ll be performing so you can follow along.” Aziraphale passes around handouts while Crowley lurks in the corner, as helpful as a bronze statue. “Brian and Adam, you both said you were interested in playing Romeo …”

“Yup,” Adam replies.

“I … I was.” Brian glances nervously around at the other boys in the room and the three girls, one of them his best friend Pepper. “Now I’m not so sure …”

“Great!” Aziraphale rallies on, ignoring Brian’s anxiety. “We’ll sort out Juliet later.” He winks at the young ladies. “No need to assume.”

“Why can’t we start with one of the fighting scenes?” Pepper asks.

“Yeah, why can’t we start with one of the fighting scenes?” Crowley groans.

“Because fighting is easy. There’s a lot of fighting in Romeo and Julie, don’t you worry. But the meat of this play is the love story. Two households, both alike in dignity, and yet …”

“… they couldn’t get their act together for the sake of their kids,” Pepper finishes.

“Exactly,” Aziraphale says proudly. “But the love Romeo and Juliet shared, their connection to one another …”

“… was probably hormonal,” Crowley finishes.

“Crowley!”

“It was! They knew one another for what? All of four days? And in that time, six people died! Their adolescent urges weren’t just insatiable! They had a body count!”

“That definitely sucks all the romance out of it, doesn’t it?” one of the non-Pepper girls says.

“Just giving you the facts, miss,” Crowley says. “To be honest, those statistics are pretty light considering an average weekend in Verona during the Renaissance ...”

“I think that’s a discussion best left for another time,” Aziraphale says, reigning the class back in. He grabs a chair, sets it in the center of the space in front of the twelve children, and sits down in it. “Why don’t we get a move on so we can start assigning the rest of the roles? Hmm?”

“Yay,” Crowley cheers dismally, dragging over a second chair, scraping two of its feet loudly along the surface of the wood floor. He flips it around and straddles it facing Aziraphale because sitting in a chair the way it’s meant would be too easy.

Aziraphale leans towards the sullen demon. “Now please, try and do your best,” he says in a low voice. “We don’t have to be the greatest Shakespearean actors that ever lived, but we should give it a decent go.”

“Sure. Anything you say,” Crowley agrees, unenthused as he may be.

“You start. Whenever you’re ready.”

Crowley looks at his script, a single cursory glance to make sure he remembers the scene correctly. He may prefer Shakespeare’s comedies, but he’s seen Romeo and Juliet a number of times, if only for the extreme absurdity of it.

Though, admittedly, several of those times have been because of Aziraphale.

Aziraphale positively adores Romeo and Juliet. Absurd or not, it’s one of Aziraphale’s all-time favorites, and in a rare moment of sentimentality, Crowley decides to do his best not to ruin that.

It’s not until he’s prepared to start that Crowley sees an opportunity.

Aziraphale hasn’t been listening to him, not where it pertains to the two of them. Of course, Crowley has never exactly been good with words. He’s more of a show, don’t tell sort of demon. And he has to give himself credit for the fact that he’s been showing Aziraphale for thousands of years how he feels about him.

But maybe this time around, good old Willy could lend him a hand.

Crowley had originally planned on being detached for this scene – good enough for youth theater, but not necessarily award worthy. Instead, he puts down his script, takes Aziraphale’s hand, and gets ready to knock the angel out of his socks.

Besides, if that kiss at the end isn’t going to mean anything, there’s no reason for him not to put his all into it.

Aziraphale sees Crowley take his hand and his eyes go wide. He hadn’t expected this. He’d been prepared for the bare minimum, if not less. Maybe it’s written in the script, he thinks, looking at the page he printed, searching for any hint of stage direction (of which there is none). This scene is often performed with the actors holding hands. Crowley would know that, but Aziraphale didn’t think he would do it. He looks from their hands up to Crowley’s eyes, and that seems to be Crowley’s cue to speak.

“If I profane with my unworthiest hand,” he begins with an air of soft intimacy, but enunciating so the kids gathered can hear, “This holy shrine, the gentle fine is this:

My lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand

To smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss.”

Aziraphale sits up straighter and clears his throat, mildly uncomfortable by the amount of emotion Crowley was able to invest into those few lines. He, too, sets his script aside, pale blue eyes staring deeply into Crowley’s and not looking away, almost as if the demon had presented him a challenge.

“Good pilgrim, you do wrong your hand too much,

Which mannerly devotion shows in this;

For saints have hands that pilgrims’ hands do touch,

And palm to palm is holy palmers’ kiss.”

Aziraphale doesn’t play it campy. He opted for a pared down, actors’ studio inspired version of this scene – no floofy costumes, no backdrops, no props, no music. Just two performers and Shakespeare’s words to set the scene. And he didn’t change his voice, try to make it high-pitched so the kids would know he was playing a girl. The gender of the characters doesn’t matter. The words, the emotions, the conflicts – those are the things that matter in this scene. Aziraphale chose to perform the role of Juliet as another aspect of himself, in love with someone he isn’t supposed to love. Someone he’s terrified of losing.

Whom he fell in love with all the same.

But unlike Juliet, he’d rather that love go cold than see the object of his affections perish because of it.

He does have to admit that after 6000 years, it’s wearing on him.

Does he really want to stand still when moving forward could be so exciting?

He’s spent his entire existence inspiring love in others. If he lets an opportunity for love pass him by, would another 6000 years be worth it?

“Have not saints lips,” Crowley says, “and holy palmers too?”

“Ay, pilgrim, lips that they must use in prayer.”

“O, then, dear saint, let lips do what hands do.” Crowley inches closer, moving his chair with demonic power to keep it silent – preserve the mood. He’s nose to nose with Aziraphale when he says, “They pray, grant thou, lest faith turn to despair.”

“Saints do not move, though grant for prayers’ sake.”

“Then move not,” Crowley says in a velvety whisper against Aziraphale’s lips that the angel has never heard before, “while my prayer’s effect I take.” He raises a hand, runs the back of it down Aziraphale’s cheek, ending with a finger beneath his chin. He glances at Aziraphale’s mouth, his breath hitching when Aziraphale holds his.

And here it is – the kiss that will mean nothing.

Not for Crowley. For him, this kiss means everything.

Can a single kiss translate all the love he has for his angel? How continuing on the way they are has been slowly shattering him to pieces?

He prays it can. He’s never been able to put it into words.

He leans closer, the chair he’s on tipping to reach, but before their lips touch, Aziraphale leans away.

Crowley jerks back, staring at Aziraphale in agony, his stony eyes drenched in heartache. But Aziraphale smiles. He reaches up with his free hand and passes it over Crowley’s eyes. Then he carefully removes the demon’s glasses. In a second of mild panic, Crowley turns away, searching out of sight of the audience for a reflective surface to look into.

What was Aziraphale doing?

What had he done!?

Crowley finds one over Aziraphale’s shoulder – the sliver of a mirror peeking out from behind one of the bookshelves. At first blush, he sees himself with hazel human eyes. But they shimmer with magic – Aziraphale’s magic. If he concentrates, Crowley can see his yellow eyes underneath. But for the benefit of those who don’t know he’s a demon, Aziraphale has come up with this.

Because he does want to kiss Crowley, more than anything. More than he ever let on.

And he doesn’t want anything getting in the way.

Aziraphale leans in – innocent Juliet luring Romeo back - but Crowley catches him, capturing his mouth with his own and breathing him in as if Aziraphale is his first breath of air in forever. Their hands, only politely grasping before this point, hold one another, fingers weaving together, so infinitely matched nothing could break them apart.

Crowley doesn’t move farther than an inch away when that kiss ends and he recites his next line. But he has to, because it’s too fitting not to say. “Thus from my lips, by yours, my sin is purged.”

Aziraphale doesn’t open his eyes when they part, too star struck to remember where they are, what they’re doing … or the fact that twelve pairs of eyes are watching them at this moment.

In retrospect, perhaps Crowley was right. Maybe he should have had Crowley kiss him once before this … for practice. So he wouldn’t be caught out of left field.

But he’s waited this long for perfection.

And that kiss definitely left perfection in the dust.

“Then have my lips the sin that they have took,” he manages in a trembling voice.

“Sin from thy lips?” Crowley murmurs, eyes sweeping over Aziraphale’s face, drinking him in. “O trespass sweetly urged! Give me my sin again.”

“Yes, please,” Aziraphale whispers.

Crowley grins. “That’s not the next line, angel.”

“Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a fu---“

Crowley swallows his angel’s profanity with another kiss, sliding a hand up the back of Aziraphale’s neck and into his hair, grabbing gently and pulling him closer. Aziraphale’s hand finds Crowley’s neck and does the same. And with that one kiss, Crowley and Aziraphale have jumped straight from Act I to Act III.

Twelve jaws drop.

Brian looks at Pepper, but Pepper shakes her head. “Don’t even think about it,” she says. “I’m playing Mercutio.”

He turns and looks at Wensleydale, but Wensleydale backs away. “Look, you’re one of my best friends in the universe, but I’m not doing that.”

Adam looks over at Warlock, eyebrows raised. Warlock shrugs. “Yeah, all right,” he says. “Go grab a chair.”

[butterflyinthewell]

I hope you listened to why people where upset with you and learned from it, rather than just freaking out and then brushing it off. Learn something from this, better yourself.

Let me be brave...let me be brave...let me be brave....

Putting trigger warnings here in case people don’t tag them in reblogs.

tw nazi mentiontw hitlertw death threatstw rape tw murdertw suicide baitingtw sex mentiontw gunstw violencetw anxietytw abuse tw emotional abusetw cyberbullyingtw anon hate (not for THIS anon, but for the kinds of things I mention anons sending to me.)

Hello, anon.

I didn’t brush it off at all. I apologized, but I don’t know if it ever got acknowledged.

I freaked out because the way I got attacked by anons triggered a flood of emotions related to being emotionally abused and bullied. I had no control of the response other than to delete the cruel messages and type out how I felt to contain my panic. 

The only anon I really responded to publicly was the one who said I was being manipulative for posting how scared, confused and upset I was. I was deliberately trying to avoid using tags that people surf or not tagging at all except for triggers so only my followers would see those posts. I used ‘actuallyautistic’ occasionally when I did panic. 

If I want a post to get attention, I make sure the first five tags are popular ones that get a lot of visits.

I made a mistake. I fucked up. I blew it. Yeah, I get it. It was not intentional at all, but people wanted to make sure I felt as bad as I could possibly feel about it over and over. It’s the exact mob mentality that terrifies me on this site.

I don’t resent being educated. I’m glad for that. I’m grateful and thankful for that. Somebody very kindly explained why the comparisons made people angry instead of saying “don’t compare these things” without further explanation. I can’t learn if I don’t understand why something is wrong. My brain works in specifics, if thing A is wrong, I need to be told that thing B and thing C are also wrong and why they’re also wrong, or I may not connect those dots. It’s autism brain, it’s been that way since I was a kid. That is not an excuse, it is an explanation. An excuse would be “it’s autism, I can’t help it and I don’t need to change my behavior” and I never said that about this incident.

Someone made the time to give me the “why” that I was missing. I felt like an asshole even though I had no ill intent, and I wish more people would acknowledge that my intent was not to cause harm rather than throwing me into the same box as people who are purposefully cruel. People have come to me with kind messages saying they know I wasn’t being offensive on purpose and I appreciate them very much, but I feel like the people who I accidentally hurt won’t ever acknowledge my apology or that I didn’t have ill intent.

Again, I don’t resent people educating me. I took it in and listened to them.

What I resent is the flood of people telling me that I should die, that I’m an antisemitic bigot, that I suck Hitler’s dick and that I’m a Nazi whore. People told me I should get murdered and thrown in a ditch. I had people telling me that I should slit my wrists, jump off a bridge and get raped. I had people saying I deserved every bit of hate I got and that I don’t deserve any of the friends I have on this site. I got called a “basic bitch” (whatever that means), a fraud and homophobic. 

Then I got told I was going to be shot and I wasn’t going to see it coming, which led to me being afraid to open my blinds or leave my house between Monday and Thursday. For my Holy Week stuff at church, I kind of sat or stood slightly away from people so if those shots came, they would only hurt me and not anyone near me. I acted more fine than I felt. I kept watching peoples’ hands for any sign they were taking out a gun. I only felt safe when in enclosed areas away from view of large crowds.

I kept it quiet while it was happening because I didn’t want to call attention to those kind of messages. It’s been about a day and a half since I last got something nasty in my inbox about the whole mess, so I guess people are tired of the whole ordeal. I sure am. 

I got the mob that I’m deathly terrified of. All for a mistake. I came very close to deleting my Tumblr. I got as far as my cursor over the button, but couldn’t click it. Deleting would disappoint more people than my mistake ever did. I remembered all the people who say my blog keeps them going, and I would be letting them down if I vanished totally. I thought of all the nonverbal autistic people who need lots of daily help and can’t make their communications understood who would go totally unacknowledged except as caregivers’ scapegoats without my posts telling the world that they exist and deserve love.

I never set out to intentionally hurt anyone, but I got treated as if I had. I apologized for what I said and adjusted the video to reflect why it’s gone so that people see the issue is dealt with and won’t feel the need to slam me all over again. I really wish people would delete their reblogs of the post, but I know that’s asking way too much.

I didn’t brush anything off. 

I really hope people didn’t brush my apology off. It’s really not fair to keep shoving a mistake at someone when they make it clear they learned from it and have been beat up enough for it. I get it, I fucked up and I’m sorry for the pain I caused.

But once you fuck up on Tumblr, there are people who see you as always a fuckup no matter how hard you try to do better after setting off the hate mob. 

Again, I don’t resent being educated. I appreciate that people educated me. What I do resent are the people who repeatedly shoved the mistake back in my face as if I’m not allowed to pick myself up and move on after learning from it.

That is the one downside about Tumblr. Mob mentality is a terrifying thing. 

Unfortunately, it’s one of my triggers when it’s aimed directly at me because the bullying I got in high school involved being publicly humiliated in front of crowds of other kids and being taunted repeatedly by members of the crowd afterward. 

There was a boy who threatened to rape and murder me daily, and nobody did shit to stop him. I was told “He’s just being a boy. Ignore him. He probably has a crush on you.” So messages about “you’re gonna get shot bitch watch your back cuz you won’t see it coming” had me going back to the thinking patterns and defense mechanisms I utilized in high school. I freaked out and made myself small for awhile.

Having my feelings dismissed as ‘manipulation’ are exact words my emotionally abusive dad uses on me whenever I’m not emoting “properly” according to some esoteric rules he never bothers to explain to me. That made me get even more confused and scared that nothing I said or did was going to be right and that everyone was going to hate me forever.

I’m not seeking pity, here. I’m explaining these things to you so that you can understand why I behaved as I did in response to the situation. I was taking measures to prevent catastrophic panic attacks that would’ve led to me deliberately getting cruel in attempt to scare everyone away. That would NOT have gone well, and I’m glad I recognized I was falling back into a pattern and wrote it out instead of being silent until I blew up completely.

For the record, again, I am sorry for the harm the Shatner letter post caused and I hope people acknowledge that yes I know I screwed up and I learned. 

[thehourglassisempty-blog]

(( okay Im gonna do a negative wordbarf because I’m noticing my posts are getting a little more passive-aggressive and I’m getting more urges to be passive-aggressive and generally shitty SO just. ignore if you want or listen to me whine; the point is putting a lot of negativity down here so I can keep the rest of my posts less negative ))

Look my activity has been basically 90% thalxssas since winter break started. I’ve started stuff with torewindtime and rxcusant recently but like...

it feels like no one really wants me here............................

I TRY to interact or maybe I’m not trying hard enough but my starter calls go unliked, open starters go unresponded, asks go unanswered, promos go unreblogged, and I don’t know WHAT it is because no one talks to me about anything or gives any impression of what they think of me. my inbox is fucking empty 24/7. 

basically I’m really just starting to wonder if there’s really any point in keeping this thing running. I mean I knew these feelings were gonna come eventually, starting a blog with an unpopular format and with rare/unpopular muses (let’s face it the KH rp “muses needed” group is every BUT these two so near and dear to my heart) is basically asking for that.

also this has been eating at me for a good month at least but soralovesyou is basically gone and I just. really wonder if that was my fault. I mean Kett can do whatever they (?? pronouns I’m really not sure I wanna say she but IDK) want with their blog, maybe it was some other decision that basically made them drop it, but I just keep thinking I was one of those last straws that made them leave and just. UGH. my stomach twists in knots thinking that. Cuz I kept forcing ideas and like they only got on my case about it once but fucking. I see it everywhere now when I look back at what we did and i feel terrible about it.

and I feel like I’ve wrecked my relationship with Ven and Bee because Ventus is basically traumatized by what Abyss did to him ha ha. I can’t have Ven just get over it even in another verse/do over he feels the ramifications of it. Just this underlying unease and unwillingness to continue as more than friends. I dont think I’ll ever get that back LOL.

and literally I made a promo text thing that’s SUPPOSED to go around faster than a legit promo apparently but Kairi was the only person who reblogged, and then two blogs liked.

wow im so fucking popular, huh?

and I mean I legit don’t know what the problem is and I literally reblogged a meme trying to find out why and no one responded. no one. not even a god damned anon.

Maybe this is all because I’m on American Central time and not everyone sees what I post before it’s too late and they don’t act because they don’t want to be creepy and I’m just being dramatic???  Maybe because I’m a shit rper who should stick to fanfiction where I can control everything??????????????  Maybe it’s because I’m actually a really shit writer???

I just...........

ive been feeling really shitty hanging around on this blog lately.

this used to be really fun

now it isn’t.