#everyone should fuck with 80s ballads

[sordidseraphim]

Thinking about Cas and Dean slow dancing to still loving you by scorpions.

Gonna throw up actually

[talk-danmei-to-me]

pls pls pls pls make a list of all danmei people should read. I am thirsty for love and angst and pls be my salvation

Omg I can't say no to that!

Full disclosure, I've only been reading danmei since May. Also, I only read official translations. Others may be able to give a wider range.

But since you asked so nicely, let's go!

1) Yuwu/Remnants of Filth

Obviously, my number 1 is going to be the danmei I spend 80% of my time here trying to convince people to read.

Yuwu is a gift for fans of angst, literally opens with the MC getting stabbed in the heart and Meatbun doesn't let up from there.

Fun fact - the only Meatbun without non-con elements in the primary ship.

Sad fact - it also lacks her usual comedy.

Why I love it: Mo Xi, my princess, genuinely the saddest boy in all of danmei. I'm ridiculously invested in Ximang's quest for happiness.

2) 2ha/Erha/The Husky and his White Cat Shizun

At it's heart (at least to where the official translations are up to) 2ha is a romantic comedy. Tropes you may have found in other danmei hit so good (ghost weddings and shizun fucking).

Fun fact - Has my favourite confession scene out of all danmei I've read.

Sad fact - Being Meatbun's most popular work, you can basically collect spoilers like pokemon cards. Not even ao3 tags are safe.

Why I love it - Meatbun's smut writing is S tier and Mo Ran is one of my favourite protaganists... although he has some competition.

3) Ballad of Sword and Wine

I feel like I need to formally apologise for sleeping on this series after reading the first volume. It’s so, so juicy! Obsessed with the character dynamics and it’s always a winner when the main couple starts to dabble with each other in the first volume. It’s not Meatbun levels of smut peddling but I appreciate Tang Jiu Qing’s hustle. If you love courtly politics, graphic descriptions of violence and the most insane levels of sexual tension you will ever read. You need this danmei in your life.

Fun fact - I am as obsessed with Cezhou as Xiao Chiye is with the nape of Shen Lanzhou’s neck.

Sad fact - The sheer amount of characters will drive you insane.

4) To Rule in a Turbulent World

Enter You Miao! His introduction made me fall in love with him just as fast as I did Mo Ran! There's a reason everyone raves about chapter 3. Hilarious, horny and wholesome. The side characters are amazing, the main couple is adorable and it's giving hints of political powerplays. Also the first danmei I've read that seems to really deliver when it comes to skinship. The main couple literally can't keep their hands to themselves.

Fun fact - I'm only 50% through but I am buying every single Fei Tian Ye Xiang 7 seas is about to release day 1.

Sad fact - there's no pictures. Also I'm not sure how angsty it's going to get.

Bonus: For the toxic yaoi fan in your life

Meatbun's most unhinged work. She's peddling all the toxic smut fans of bl mangas and manhwas will be familiar with. Even though it's modern it made me nostalgic for that reason. He Yu is a clown and I adore him. Meatbun is airing all her kinks with this one and I'm not mad about it.

Fun fact- This is the first modern danmei I've read. Also, one of the more fun uses of the straight man trope I've read.

Sad fact - Vol 3 cliffhanger!

Why I love it - It's just pure Meatbun chaos.

(Am I just exposing myself as a Meatbun stan, probably, but she delivers every time.)

[heavensbeehall]

"The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes," Chapter 12

Part 2: The Prize

Chapter 12: Uh-oh! Emily was reading so much fanfic she forgot where she was in the actual book. Coriolanus is jealous of everyone who dares get near Lucy Gray. He hates Sejanus and Ma Plinth. Tigris comes and he's like, "What do you think that song was about? Is she really a whore?" They go home. Grandma'am is also awful. He writes about the fun of war. The next morning, Clemensia is still missing. He gives Lucy Gray his mother's compact and tells her to put rat poison in it.

Quotes:

His girl. His. Here in the Capitol, it was a given that Lucy Gray belonged to him, as if she’d had no life before her name was called out at the reaping. Even that sanctimonious Sejanus believed she was something he could trade for. If that wasn’t ownership, what was?

Oh gross. Now I remember why I didn't want to keep reading.

“One hearing’s all my cousin Maude Ivory needs. That child never forgets anything with a tune,” said Lucy Gray.

If Maude Ivory was Katniss's grandma, do we think her dad had a Covey name? With a color?

Just like those Peacekeepers back in 12. Coriolanus couldn’t help wondering just how friendly she could be.

Coriolanus thinks she's fucking the Peacekeepers in the Capitol and 12.

Sejanus appeared, in another brand-new suit, with a rumpled little woman in an expensive flowered dress on his arm. It didn’t matter. You could put a turnip in a ball gown and it would still beg to be mashed.

Now I am just quoting all the awful stuff he thinks. But also I have never had mashed turnips? Why not say potato?

Tigris’s rebuke shocked him, but less than her alluding to behavior that might be considered a disgrace. What had she done? Because if she’d done it, she’d done it to protect him. He thought about the morning of the reaping, when he’d casually wondered what she had to trade in the black market, but he’d never really taken that seriously. Or hadn’t he? Would he have just preferred not to know what sacrifices she might be willing to make for him? Her comment was vague enough, and so many things were beneath a Snow, that he could say, as she had of Lucy Gray’s song, “Well, that could be anything.” Did he want to know the details? No. The truth was he did not.

So here's the thing about this: I think he doesn't want to know because then he would feel indebted to her, and he can't stand that. But... he is indebted to her. I know family is family and it's not the same as if some random stranger did it, but she gave up going to university so she could work to support him. I don't think he needs to pay her back or anything but he should be more... not grateful necessarily but just aware of what it took to get him here. He may think he just "deserves" all this (and that's a whole other issue) but it wasn't just given to him. She had to sacrifice.

That our ancestral home has gotten too large?

It's a dumb apartment, you weirdo. That is hooie! He bought this place in the 80s! /ben blanc

“The trouble with girls is, they’re not used to fighting the same way boys are,” said Hilarius. The Heavensbees were ultrarich, the way the Snows had been before the war. But no matter his advantages, Hilarius always seemed to feel oppressed.

I wonder if this sense of oppression made its way to Plutarch somehow and made him want to fight.

“The thing is,” Lysistrata whispered to Coriolanus, “I’ve become rather attached to Jessup.” She paused a moment, arranging the wrapping on a chunk of baked noodles and cheese. “He did save my life.” Coriolanus wondered what Lysistrata, who had been closer to him than anyone else in the arena, had seen when the bombs went off. Had she seen Lucy Gray save him? Was she hinting at that?

Okay here's the part where I begin to piss off the Snowbaird shippers. I think Lysistrata has more genuine feeling for Jessup than Snow does for Lucy Gray. I don't think it's romantic, but I do think it's more the appropriate reaction given the circumstances. Snow is all about ownership. I wish Lysistrata did see Lucy Gray save Snow and told everyone so he couldn't pretend it didn't happen.

[marianas-trench-is-not-that-deep]

Reasons Why I Think End of An Era Should Be More Loved

(also known as a long list of why I love this song <3) watch out, this is going to be a pretty long post lol

First and foremost, this isn't a list kind of thing but it will be more of a rant, because Goddammit I love this song and I don't see much people giving it the praise IT CLEARLY DESERVES

So let start from the beginning

The song starts off with an acapella part - (0:00 - 1:10) I feel like almost every Marianas Trench closing song starts with something similar, soft vocals and/or elongated notes that are at a slowly relatively slow pace (which is valid because every song before the closer is a ballad that makes me want to bawl my fucking eyes out). And it always work. It helps set the pace and eases smoothly when the tempo kicks a little higher which brings tension and momentum. This case is no different. I always enjoy listening to Josh sing in this little acapella format, his vocals are nice and clean, and not to mention the lyricism <3 Just the beginning lyrics make me want to swoon "One last cue/from love true/to final adieu" Idk, something about that line just got me !!!dlsk it's so simple yet poetic at the same time his delivery connotating sadness and realism that reflected his life back then. This whole exposition just completely keeps up with the concept of being an 80's coming of age action movie and the rest of the song does not disappoint.

afterwards, it kicks up

OMG the CALLBACKS and motifs from every other Marianas Trench song

everyone loves to talk about Dearly Departed as having the best call backs to others songs. C'mon we all freaked out in the best possible way when we first heard it. but I really would like to give End of an Era some of that spotlight BECAUSE COME ON!! this song doesn't only have just lyric call backs from the other songs but also their musical motifs and IT WORKS!! like, it doesn't sound tacky nor out of place. It's all fitted so smoothly and seamlessly into the song in a way that makes such musical sense and doesn't stray from the overall tone.

Here are all the call backs that I have found (and let me know if i missed one)

Masterpiece theater - right after the acapella beginning, the song immediately introduces a marimba that plays the beginning part of Masterpiece Theatre III as a musical motif. I freaked out the first time I heard it and I imagine a lot of you guys did too. I was like KDSOFDJS

Astoria - ofc it has to include the beginning song and it sung so beautifully tense compared to it's original. You can clearly imagine that this is ending climax of the movie. the stakes are high and there is a clear thick tension. Calling back to the titular song, through both lyrics and strings, is a way to narrate how far the journey has taken.

Ever After - the haunting "Face the Music/when its dire" background melody ITS SO FUCKING GOOD YALL LIKE WHAT THE FUCK. so all of this literally happens in the beginning. like first its the intro to masterpiece III and then uses lyrics from astoria and then uses lyrics from ever after as background vocals to harmonize with the astoria vocals and IT'S SO GODDAMN BEAUTIFUL and it's so well executed. LIKE I CANNOT STRESS ENOUGH HOW MUSICALLY TALENTED ONE HAS TO BE TO COMBINE THREE SEPARATE MUSICAL MOTIFS FROM PAST SONG TO MAKE A NEW SONG THAT SOUNDS FRESH BUT STILL BE RECOGNIZABLE TO THE OGS LIKE WAHAT/? but that's not all folks,, no no no no .

Ever After motif - the AHahAHah AhahAhah (yknow) the singing voice that appears in almost every song throughout the whole Ever After and most prominent in Porcelain. It is woven into the song so beautifully.

Low and Alibis - "I feel so ashamed/wish this was easy" KDLSJFKSDF; this lyric is from Low from their debut album Fix Me. "I want you to know to, this never was the man I hoped to be by now" this is a call back to the song Alibis from the same album. and i cannot even try to begin to describe the absolute ferocity I felt when this part came on. The refer to two of one of their most emotionally charged songs from their debut album and AHHH and in the song, it serves the role as a comparison in the journey. These specific lyrics help continue the flow of the narrative that the song is going by being the 'before' and comparing himself to the what he is now. He had a specific image of himself before and the journey has converted him into something new but ultimately not what he wanted ("this was never the man I hoped to be by now"). If anything, he is expressing the lowest he has ever felt and is brilliantly using lyrics from his song LOW. He's expressing his regret, his sadness, his struggles that he had faced and acknowledges throughout his journey and knows that he does not want that to be the end. And it is such a wonderful call back because Fix Me and those specific songs are sonically but bring this authenticity because these songs are truly part of the 'beginning' of Marianas Trench's journey. It lowkey made me shed a tear

Porcelain (and maybe Dearly Departed) - So at 5:00 - 5-16 is literally just an excerpt from Porcelain (Ever After 2013) but just melodically inverted and LET ME TELL YOU, IF THAT'S NOT ONE OF THE MOST HEARTBREAKING THINGS. In Porcelain, it goes Ahhhahh ahh, then you hear the guitars and drums picking up, and then the lyrics come in "oh, when your heart releases, you won't fall to pieces, you'll let those diseases lie" with nice expressive melody. You hear that same melody in End of an Era but you hear first the ahhh ahh - since it was already kind of in the background for most of the song but it becomes most prominent in this section - and then then that melody with the lyrics "i gave in to sickness, could you find forgiveness, for a dear old friend" and then it kicks it up with the same guitar sounds and drums that was in Porcelain (but accompanied with kickass guitar riffs -- like cmon those riffs are so good!!!) and I'm not sure if this is too much of a stretch, but I think that those specific lyrics are a callback to Dearly Departed. They parallel the lines "in sickness and health" and reference the "dear old friend" that is is a constant in Dearly Departed. I don't really like to pry on people's lives (so feel free to correct me if i'm wrong) but I remember hearing that one of the reasons that Amanda called off the engagement was because Josh got sick at the hospital and was acting drastically different. I'm not sure if his parents' deaths happened around that time or if the cheating was also a factor but i feel like with this line he is referencing that he owns up for how he was acting and gave 'in to sickness' both in a literal and metaphorical sense despite the vows that he references in Dearly Departed (since "in sickness and in health" are part of wedding vows which reference the engagement). This part is just so emotionally and musically complex because what Ramsay is essentially doing is putting on the melody of the love song (tm) underneath the lyrics that reference the what could be the actual breakup in order to make a new meaning and basically use it as a way to salvage it because he still cares and loves her. AND YOU GET THIS FROM LITERALLY A MINUTE OR HALF A MINUTE LIKE WHATTT

After that emotional train wreck that was the middle section of the song, it starts nearing the conclusion with this anticipating climax and when it gets to the top, there's this intensity that reaches and is let out with a scream. and not just any scream, but the one that was in Astoria as a final cry of victory and perseverance, accompanied by amazing guitar riffs, drums and just overall DJSILFJSK ( i don't know how to put it in words) but its all there and it so good and victorious in a way that makes you think that you just watch a glorious coming of an age epiphany and rising to the occasion to finish out the journey and it just truly feels so magical.

Last and certainly not least, the last part. THIS LAST PART MAKES ME GO SO FUCKING FERAL ITS NOT EVEN FUNNY. but

"if we shadows have offended, I hope your heart can still be mended. I hope you know that i don't blame you my dear friend. Always will love you still, but Astoria must end"

The quoting of Shakespeare's Midsummer Night Dream (which i can make a whole analysis in it by itself but the post is already way too long lol) , which is a play essentially about love and marriage. and just the phrase of "dear friend" as a way to acknowledge that his beloved is not just the love of his life, but a friendship that he has cherished and cared for a long time. Using the quote from shakespeare and affirm that Astoria must end, gives it a spine tingly knowledge that this is the end. the end of the journey, the end of the song, the end of the relationship, the end of this era.

and the best part is that this does not necessarily mean that this journey is just about josh and his relationship and real life problems but also his musical journey. Marianas Trench has gone through so many changes, so many sounds, and has given people so many experiences. This song is the song that culminates all that Josh has written, produced, and created into one spectacular musical sound that is their way to leave their old selves behind. They have acknowledged that they have grown quite a bit as well as their audience and they are just saying good bye to this era. i don't know about you guys but I just think this is quite literally one of their bests songs ever and even though I barely made sense throughout most of this post, I hope it brings you more a somewhat good insight on what this songs means to us, the band, and to Josh. <3 <3 <3

[gerogerigaogaigar]

Metallica - Master Of Puppets

Good Metallica songs are all like "we live in a society, except for me!" *Five minute guitar solo*. I love early Metallica. On Master Of Puppets in particular they are really good at developing motifs and riffs into these long elaborate song structures and playing them at breakneck speed. This album is probably Metallica at their most technically proficient and it really shows on songs like Battery, Orion, and the title track. They aren't just playing fast they are playing interesting and engaging music.

R.E.M. - Automatic For The People

The rock and roll edge of their 80s sound has been fully shed in favor of an acoustic led, intimate sound. An album of sensitive mid tempo ballads by an alt rock band should be a recipe for disaster, but Michael Stipe can sell sorrow and distress so well that even the campiest lines land. The simplicity of Everybody Hurts, which is a deliberate nod to Nazareth's cover of Love Hurts, is so simple that its cutting. Meanwhile the complex emotions of Man On The Moon, an ode to late comedian Andy Kaufman, is a meditation on belief. Best of all, none of it is boring. The album is paced perfectly so that you never wind up totally bogged down in piano ballads and its brief enough to not fatigue the listener.

Drake - Take Care

I wanted to do another joke review because Drake very obviously sucks, but this album actually exceeded my expectations for suck. First it's boring. Drake aimlessly croons through five minute snorefests that bored me to death. Second Drake rhymes words with themselves at such an incredible pace that catching him at it was the main thing keeping me focused. Third he hates women so fucking much. And I know that a lot of rappers do not speak of women in so good of a way, but this is different. Half his songs boil down to "feminism was a mistake, you should fuck me". This is more like how Lovectaft was actually racist even by the standards of the time. That's how Drake is with women. The best part is when Nicki Minaj shows up for about fifteen seconds to outperform everyone else on the album. I came in with low expectations and Drake just dived under the bar. This man is allergic to talent. I can outrap Drake.

[sanstropfremir]

Okay, time for my weekly rant so buckle up. The vocal stages were okay-I cant really remember them well because I watched them only once so take what I say with a grain of salt. Well I watched the Spark one once and I only got through half of the other one because I can’t stand ballads especially when there’s no interesting movement on stage to keep me engaged. Like it’s no fault of the members themselves or the song (I actually think their singing was incredibly beautiful and Eunkwang always sings like his wife just left him with the kids which is how you know he’s good) but I physically could not pay attention. That’s why I liked the spark stage a bit better-there was enough movement that I was able to focus on it. I really liked the use of the fire and the way they were walking in and out of the frame trading off parts so there weren’t too many awkward moments where the other members where on stage but not doing anything. The opening was gorgeous with each members being lit by the spotlight as they harmonize. So stagewise, I prefer Spark but vocally I think the other group was stronger. I love Spark and Taeyon is such an incredible vocalist (I mean the song is great because of her) so I don’t get why their delivery was, I don’t want to say weak, but subdued might be a better word. The only one that really stood out was Junhoe (but also that man couldn’t not stand out even if he tried, not with that incredibly rasp) and even he seemed to be holding himself back a bit. Though it was a bit slow it built up well to the two last choruses but still the first half could have been stronger. I know they were trying to draw it out to a strong pay off but I don’t really know if it was enough. And yes the suits were *chef’s kiss*. I think at this point in their career the FNC stylist has put SF9 in so many suits they’ve got it down to a science. Also I’m a sucker for those shirts with the triangle cut out and we got not one but two of them here.

Okay moving on, I’m not sure which group was next but I’ll talk about the Ikon stage. It seems like they finally realized that they’re on a performance based competition show so they decided to pull out the big guns. Love the little skit at the beginning (making sure people don’t forget that they’re YG), it was cute and refreshing. I really appreciated how they leaned into the campy acting in this stage (Stray kids did it too-just adding to the similarities between their stages). The song was meh but I also don’t really like BP especially not their recent stuff so it’s not a big deal. I would have preferred if they had gone with another song maybe Whistle or As If It’s Your Last or if they’d done a 2NE1 song like Chanwoo mentioned some point in the episode. I also think the stage would have been way smoother if they’d let Ikon and Lisa interact. Like if the boys appeared in her set after her section and then they all moved back to the first jungle set and then the whole thing turns gold and they did a dramatic outfit change (but with better jackets because theirs look like they came out of Party City). I also get what you mean about the dancers outfits not being that great. I actually really liked the outfits of Lisa’s dancers in isolation but they didn’t match with her or the set so they threw me off a bit. At least with the ikon members they were going for a modern look so the dancers outfits didn’t look that strange in comparison. Do you think it would have been better if they were white? How would you have improved then? The best way I can describe this performance was that it was a stage, stuff happened, I enjoyed myself but I don’t plan to revisit it anytime soon. Oh and we also have to give points for them cursing on national television not once but twice (at this point Jinwan deserves to say fuck).

Now to Stray Kids. So I feel like I need to preface this with the fact that I am actually a stray kids fan (I won’t call myself a stay because I don’t associate with the fandom) and though I’ve been really critical of them and their stages tend to be my least favorite I still have a soft spot for them (I got into this show because of them after all). I loved, loved, loved the intro with Felix (and yes his biggest flaw is that he’s Australian but I forgive him for it) and the way it immediately transitions into the chorus of DDD-the abrupt transition does fit really well with the Deadpool theme and I guess it is the closest they’re going to get to the feeling of yeeting themselves into traffic like in the movie. Interesting choice to start with the chorus. Now that I’m rewatching it I do really wish they stuck with the comic theme. I think that’s my gripe with SKZ-they have a lot of good ideas but they move on too quickly from them. Just pick a handful of things and sprinkle them throughout instead of cycling through them at breakneck speed. Like okay they’re doing Deadpool and he’s a comic character so keep the comic styling (it would have been a good thing to put in the projection behind Seungmin’s scene), maybe in the subway they could have had some fight choreo so the guns coming in at Lee Knows part aren’t out of nowhere (also someone please tell me they were trying to recreate the meme with the cat and the knives, please I need to know). I absolutely agree that them having a goal or an antagonist would have really helped the story along. I mean they literally have a spoken intro so why couldn’t Felix just tell us who they were fighting (and I’m pretty sure in the movie Wade tells us he’s trying to kill Francis in that scene sooo). As always they put more focus on the rappers (please can we get less Changbin and more Seungmin, Jeongin, or Lee Know or at least give Felix more parts). Seungmin was the real mvp of this stage and he had the best outfit (I think it qualifies for Hanya’s best gay little outfit list). Personally I with they hadn’t gone with Gods Menu again. I’ve been hoping that they would perform My Pace (and maybe remix it with their B-side TA off their Go Live album) because that would be such a fun stage. Again, I enjoyed myself but I won’t revisit it anytime soon. At this point the only groups I actually look forward to are BTOB and SF9 (they’re doing fucking Move and I don’t know whether to be excited or terrified-there’s a clip of Taeyang covering Move from a variety show or interview and I think he does it really well so I know at least one of them can pull it off). Again thanks for creating space where I can info dump and I hope I said something of interest to you!

i think you wrote more than me!! i love this, im gonna put my response under a cut im not being super obnoxious on the dash.

i get that the mayfly stage would be not as visually stimulating for people and usually i would count myself in with that crowd because i love a good spectacle but i think because i watched the spark stage first and my colour perception is sometimes weird so when there's a lot of movement with very little colour variation my tiny pea brain loses track of whats happening really quickly. especially with red. so it was kind of difficult for me to pay attention to the spark stage in the second half. also i absolutely HATE watching people flub on stage because it brings up such visceral secondhand feelings that i couldn't even watch the stage when i started the full episode today.

i love a good suit but you know what i would also love: sf9 in more costume variations. tbh im just getting nitpicky about it because im a costume designer down to the core and i got trained by a designer who specialized in doing avant garde costuming so i tend to skew more towards wild than reserved. it looks like the move stage wont be be suits so ill take it, but oh man to do i want to see some really crazy stuff. which i know they'll never do because idols have to be pretty at all times or the fans get mad but oh i want it so badly.

do you mean how i would improve ikon's backup dancers outfits or lisa's? here why dont i do both. for lisa's dancers i would have just done away with that harness shape all together, its almost exclusively a military style. the jackets by themselves would have been fine but really what they should have done was put them in something that matched the gold but contrasted enough to give them shape. by having at least her dancers in all black on a gold stage there was a lot of "haha look at me do a duck walk because lets throw in some voguing for spice." they could have gone with a mesh bodysuit idea similar to what she was wearing or even just different colour coats. as for ikon's backup dancers, firstly pants. not black. or even a longer skirt. genuinely a part of the reason why i dont watch girl group content is because i HATE the hem length of the shorts they make everyone wear. words cannot describe how much i hate that cut. kpop is so obsessed with showing off women's bodies and especially their legs but they do it in the LEAST flattering way possible because it "can't be too risqué," just shoot me now. i hate it. i hate it so fucking much. yea yea everybody was on cocaine in the 80s whatever but at least they were all wearing french cut bodysuits so their legs looked fantastic. stop interrupting the lines!! anyways. pants so the only section of skin showing is thigh to mid calf, especially because they weren't even doing any fun legwork! if they really wanted to keep the full sleeve bodysuits they shout have done them in a fabric with a texture or external embellishments, like a patent/vinyl or sequins/rhinestones. something to catch the stage lights so we can actually see the shape of the limb. but the easiest way to fix it is literally just cut the arms off the bodysuits. stages are lit to show off skin, sometimes the best way to have something be seen is just to have it bare.

i agreed skz cycles through ideas way too fast, they need to just pick a couple and stick them out through the stage instead of just adding more and more different ones throughout. also ok good someone else noticed that there is just...so much changbin. we don't need that much changbin. i know there's other boys in the group let them do something! also im pretty sure theyre not recreating the cat knife meme but actually the promo image from john wick chapter two, which i also could have sworn i saw a deadpool version of as an instagram ad back when movies were happening, but now that im looking for it it doesn't exist so i might be crazy.

im excited for the move stage but im also trepidatious because...its move. i have NO clue what the concept is from the previews so i just hope its weird enough to take it enough out of the taemin context for me to enjoy it.

[the-resurrection-3d]

so what was ever good about acotar anyway?

For some reason, I’ve been very tempted to reread ACOTAR lately, and so I’m going to just make a quick list of what I remember specifically endearing the book to me back when I first read it in 2016 so we can compare notes later. This will, however, also include some retroactive criticisms now that we’re four years on from ACOWAR ruining everything forever. 

Twigger warnings for discussions of abuse, csa and neglect, as well as me using my complimentary R Slur Pass.

For some context: 

>Be 18yr me in 2016. 

>Be in your first semester at college. 

>Be so fed up with YA romance that you avoid books just for hinting at them in the summary. 

>Be also brainstorming a series with your roommate called The Cuckmaster Saga. 

This is probably going to sound embarrassing, but I’m being completely sincere when I say that part of why this book excited me was simply the novelty of finding a YA romance book that I liked. 

I’d fallen out hard with YA in general by this point in my life, partially because of a string of fairy tale “retellings” that clearly gave zero fucks about the source material beyond using the iconography in its marketing. Folklore had been my special interest for a while, and my excitement for the series and all its little extra niche references coincided with finally getting to study folklore in a true academic setting.

Which leads me to point one:

I love the idea of combining BatB and the Tam Lin ballad. I know some people have complained about this, but honestly, I enjoyed finding a retelling that mimicked the mix-and-match structuring of a lot of folktales. ACOTAR isn’t even the messiest or least coherent mash-up by a huge margin. Unfortunately, this aspect of the series severely lessened as it went along — remember when we all thought ACOWAR was going to be a Snow White retelling and then there was just one scene with poisoned apples? Lmao.

[If anyone wants an author who does YA mash-ups that are actually YA, I’d recommend Rosamund Hodge, whose books are always interesting in their sheer weirdness even when the story itself slightly falters. I mean, I wrote a whole 20-page thesis on her Red Riding Hood/Maiden Without Hands retelling and still didn’t cover everything I had thoughts on. (Tragically, however, I must inform you all that she is a Catholic Reylo. Rest in pepperoni.)]

It is fucking hilarious in retrospect that SJM clearly knows a bunch of different folktales and folkloric creatures but thinks it’s believable for shadowsinger powers to have no theorized origin “even [in] the rich lore of the warrior-people” (ACOFAS 65). Bro fuck outta here. 

But this leads into point two — Feyre and her family. It’s very obvious that SJM based Nesta and Elain’s dynamic with Feyre off the common folktale trope of having the youngest sibling be the only competent person in the room (and Katniss Everdeen). I thought it was honestly a lot of fun to see this trope done with some interiority; you can practically hear Feyre seethe about what useless hoes her sisters are between every line. I genuinely giggled through these parts on my initial readthrough. 

I’ve seen some people complain that Nesta and Elain’s behaviors aren’t realistic in this situation, but au contraire! Nesta and Elain’s actions in book one are (...almost) perfectly realistic. Without revealing too much, my grandmother grew up in poverty with a few older sisters, and yet my great-grandmother would make her do all the work and constantly force her to give up her possessions (like her car) to the older sisters whenever they wanted them. Even to this day, when they’re all in their 70s and 80s, one of these sisters still relies on my grandma to do basic shit like balancing her checkbooks. I’ve also observed similar dynamics play out plenty of times between an adult child and an overindulgent parent, with people literally ruining their lives and bodies all for the sake of sitting at home all day buying furry porn off the internet. 

Nesta and Elain are basically the psychology of this type of person split in two — Elain the soft, delicate, perpetually victimized front they put on for the world, and Nesta the ice-cold, bitter, and aggressive bitch they truly are. 

Honestly, the only thing I would change about this set-up is either keep Ma Archeron alive or give Papa Archeron more personality than a plank of damp wood. What’s truly missing here is a parental figure enforcing this fucked up dynamic — I don’t remember it being clear that Feyre’s always had this role, just that she took it on after her mom’s death. Making it clear that Feyre’s always been forced to be this way — alongside giving the mom more characterization — would have gone a long way towards making this dynamic feel more realized and less like the narrative using trauma and pity as a shortcut towards reader engagement. 

Then again, that would require SJM to have a female villain in this series who isn’t a rapist, and quotes I’ve seen floating around from ACOSF make it pretty clear SJM doesn’t know same-gender sexual abuse even exists. 

Anyway. 

Point Three (or rather 2B): Feyre realizing she doesn’t have to hang around her family just because she feels obligated to love them was a fucking banger. I loved it so much; having a story, especially a YA story, that showed you aren’t obligated to love a family that treats you like shit was so special to me. Especially since I was also leaving my family for the first time, and going home to visit them every other weekend felt like being hit point-blank with a Psyduck blast. 

Thankfully, my relationship with my family has gotten a lot better, but I’m still really disappointed that Nesta and Elain were forced back into the story, rather than them reaching out to Feyre and making amends because they wanted to do better.  The closest we got to this was the revelation that Nesta almost made it to the Border by herself after Feyre was taken, which was definitely badass, but also unfortunately the only Nesta scene I’ve liked in this entire fucking series. If SJM was going to force Feyre to regress into being Nesta and Elain’s tardwrangler again, then she should have followed up on Amren’s line in ACOWAR that Feyre treats Nesta and Elain the way Tamlin treated her. 

“I asked them to help once—and look what happened. I won’t risk them again.”

Amren snorted. “You sound exactly like Tamlin.”

[. . .] and I said, “She’s right.”  (169-170). 

But I’m sure everyone who’s read ACOSF knows how well that’s going. 

Point Four: the femindhjdfhfdh I can’t even write that with a straight face. I mean let’s be real, I too enjoy seeing female characters I like become queens and all that other stuff, but it was clear to me even on my initial reading of ACOMAF that it was all shallow and designed to help delineate good guys from bad guys without much in the way of nuance. It certainly took me out of the experience a little, but at least it ties into the books’ themes of recovering from abuse and shacking up with a Certified Women Respecter. 

My actual point four: Truthfully I only bought this series for the meme of having the first shitty love interest getting cucked in the second book. ACOWAR gave me some complicated feelings on Tamlin, and I honestly think he should have just stopped appearing in the series after that — BUT, having him be dragged back in once per book just to call him a cuck and cockslap him around a little bit is fucking hilarious. Pointless! But hilarious.

I also think that this kind of arc is a great critique of the standard “happily ever after,” acknowledging that in real life, you’re much more likely to just pass from one abusive household to another because you don’t know what healthy love, communication, and boundaries are. (Arguably many folktales are the fantasies of women who are well aware of this reality but want to imagine a world that’s otherwise). I definitely have a lot of problems with SJM’s claims of “sex positivity,” but acknowledging that Feylin used sex as a means of avoiding communication was another great touch.

I wish that this whole King of Hybern shit was completely cut just to focus on these themes more; it’s very clear SJM only included it because fantasy series = BIG EPIC WORLD-ENDING STAKES!! I've read maybe ten pages of Throne of Glass, so I can't speak for how she handles epic fantasy there, but I know for me and a lot of other stans, the Hybern plot had licherally nothing to do with what we liked and connected to in these books. 

But I must soften here, because I totally empathize with feeling like big stakes are “necessary” for a fantasy story and that no one would want to read your books without them. YA fantasy is the reason why TV Tropes coined the term “romantic plot tumor,” after all. (Source: I’m making shit up.) 

What else… what else… uhhhhh. I think that might be it, at least for substantial things I don’t have to qualify too much. I of course have plenty of little things I used to like but have now been tainted because ACOWAR ruined everything forever and ACOFAS danced on the graves (such as how I liked Lucien but everyone in the books shits on him now to the point it’s stopped being funny). But this post is too long anyway.

[skinks]

hi!!! what are your favourite movies? like actually good ones but also any trashy comfort movies? is IT (2017) one of them?

Hello!! IT (2017) IS ABSOLUTELY ONE OF THEM oh man, thank you for this, I love talking about movies!!!! This is possibly the most difficult question you could have asked me. Apologies for how absolutely off the rails this got, I just... love movies so much lmao

I’ve said this before, but opening night of IT ch1 was the best cinema experience I’ve ever had, I’m so glad I got to see it with a fully packed audience who were all laughing and screaming together the whole way through. I’m a huge fan of... everything ch1 was doing, the 80s nostalgia, the summer-coming-of-age themes, the solid ghost train funhouse JOY of the Pennywise performance and scares, the washed-out cinematography, the tiny background details to make everything that much more eerie, the kids’ ACTING?!

Like, a lot of the time I find child actors can be really awkward and stilted to watch, but I remember leaving the cinema really impressed by JDG and Sophia Lillis in particular. I liked that they were all allowed to be little shitheads with potty mouths, it felt like a callback to 80s movies like The Lost Boys or Stand By Me. The whole thing worked to make me really care about what happened to the kids (even if I do still have issues with how they handled Mike. I understand even ch1 had limitations with juggling so many characters, but still). I saw it another 2 times in the cinema and have rewatched it at least, I dunno, 7-10 more times since then?

Add to all of that the retroactive CANON R+E baby pining subplot? I just love it, as if that wasn’t obvious by now given my Whole Blog. It’s a really special movie to me!

Anyway!! Ok, the main handful of movies I rewatch all the fucking time are:

Back to the Future, The Lost Boys, Pride and Prejudice (2005), Jaws, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, The Breakfast Club, Ocean’s 11, POTC 1, The Dark Knight, Inception, Die Hard, LOTR trilogy, Snatch, The Nice Guys, Logan Lucky, Mad Max Fury Road, Clueless, 10 Things I Hate About You, Billy Elliot, Dirty Dancing, Tomb Raider (2018)...

Those are the easily consumable ones that I’ve seen so many times I don’t really have to concentrate or think about them, but I really love them and unfortunately often KEEP rewatching them instead of new stuff. It would take too long to go into why I love all these movies so much because I could write the same amount as I already did for ITCH1, and everyone already knows why those movies are good, so, lol.

I think I’m gonna have to subdivide and categorise this whole post because there are too many separate criteria for... goOD MOVIES, AUUHH 😩

Okay so first off, HORROR MOVIES? I’m especially in love with Re-Animator (1985) and its sequel Bride of Re-Animator, they’re such good examples of camp and batshit 80s practical effects, and also EXTREMELY funny. I’m actually just gonna post my list of my fave horror movies that I do actually keep on my phone at all times lmao. These are in no particular order:

Wholeheartedly recommend every one of these. I’ve never been so scared in my life as I was watching Hereditary in the cinema, hoo boy. Mother! by Aronofsky is one of the strangest experiences I’ve ever had (and I actually saw it on the same day I saw IT ch1 for the first time!! That was a fun day)

Psycho (1960) and The Fly from 1986 should also be on there but I couldn’t fit them in the screenshot.

I’m a HUGE fan of a ton of martial arts movies too, like Kung Fu Hustle, Shaolin Soccer, Ip Man, The Raid movies, John Wick 3 is my fave of the trilogy, Drive from 1997 with Mark Dacascos is incredible, SPL 2, Ong-Bak, Operation Condor, Project A, Iron Monkey, and Zatoichi (2003) are some favourites.

My favourite Tarantino is Reservoir Dogs, fave Coen brothers are Raising Arizona, The Ballad of Buster Scruggs and O Brother Where Art Thou. Love some old-timey colour correction and weird offbeat dialogue. I also love Goodfellas!!! And Donnie Brasco! And The Firm, I’m so easy for any good crime/law/gangster/heist procedural like that, especially if they’re from the 80s or 90s in a super dated way.

Fave Disney movie is Tarzan, favourite Ghibli movies are Spirited Away and Lupin III. I remember watching Spirited Away during a thunderstorm one time and it being.... god! Transcendent! Favourite Pixar movie is The Incredibles (the first one. ALSO the documentary “The Pixar Story” is great and well worth a watch, it’s very comforting for some reason) and my favourite Dreamworks movies are HTTYD1 and Spirit: Stallion of the Cimmaron.

I tend to watch more anime movies than tv shows, so stuff like Akira, The Girl Who Leapt Through Time, Summer Wars, Journey to Agartha, and my ultimate fave anime is Sword of the Stranger (2008). The climactic fight in that movie is fucking stunning and should be counted in “bests fights” lists right alongside anything live action

Also if we’re talking animated movies another hearty favourite is Rango, and a Belgian stop-motion (which at one time I considered my favourite movie ever) called Panique Au Village (2009) which is one of the funniest movies ever made imo.

As for TRASHY movies, I’m not sure if that’s the right word for how I feel about these ones but.. dumb/silly/slightly guilty pleasure movies? Ones that I feel need some kind of justification lmfao

Troy - something u must know about me is that I’m a giant slut for the Assassin’s Creed franchise, so if a movie smashes historical and mythological nonsense together with fun costumes and sword fights, I’m gonna enjoy myself. Even if they should have made Achilles and Patroclus gay. Other movies in this vein are King Arthur: Legend of the Sword, and Immortals (2011)

Gods of Egypt - I know all the reasons this movie is whitewashed bullshit. But it was already bullshit with giant Anubis mecha and giant snakes and bad acting and ridiculous CGI and frankly I had a blast at the cinema (my friend who I forced to come with me did not have a blast. Sorry H***)

Avatar - yes, the one with the big blue people. This movie gets a lot of flack nowadays but I really do enjoy it just for the spectacle. The full CGI world technology was so new at the time and I love to wallow in the visuals and daydream about riding a cool dragon around in the jungle

George of the Jungle - I’ll defend this movie to the death ok this movie shaped me as a person, it is fucking hilarious and Brendan Fraser is the himbo to end all himbos. It’s perfect. The song Dela is perfect. I still want to write a reddie AU about it. It’s one of the best movies ever made and I’m not being ironic

Set It Up - I KNOW this is a dumb Netflix original romcom but consider this; it was funny and the leads had great chemistry. I got butterflies. I once watched it and then literally immediately set it back to the start so I could watch it again

The Brady Bunch Movie - when people talk about great satires or parodies you will see them bring up the same movies over and over again, Blazing Saddles, This Is Spinal Tap etc, but they never talk about The Brady Bunch Movie from 1995 for some reason, which they should. It is one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen and every time i watch it somehow it gets funnier

Some more general favourites that I do still love but don’t rewatch as often, and don’t wanna go into more detail about are:

Moon (2009), Crna Mačka Beli Mačor, The Sixth Sense, Parasite, The Handmaiden, Tremors, Wet Hot American Summer, Tucker and Dale vs Evil, What We Do In The Shadows, Hunt For the Wilderpeople, The Secret of My Success (I love kitschy 80s movies, is that obvious by now), The Green Mile, When Harry Met Sally, Rear Window, The Odd Couple, Breaking Away, Pan’s Labyrinth, To Kill A Mockingbird, The Eagle, Gladiator, The Artist, The Extraordinary Adventures of Adèle Blanc-Sec, Call Me By Your Name, Master and Commander, Pacific Rim, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, Legend (1985), Emma. (2020), Flash Gordon, Trolljegeren, Hross í Oss, Beverly Hills Cop, Coming to America, WarGames, District 9, Ajeossi (2010), Tracks (2013), Sightseers, Mud (2012), Pitch Black, Four Lions, Shaun of the Dead, Starship Troopers, The Truman Show, Withnail & I....... Jesus Christ ok I need to stop

NOTABLE EXTREME FAVOURITES that I didn’t include in the regular rewatch list because they’re too heavy/not as well known/require more attention.:

Thin Red Line (1998), Badlands (1973) both dir. Terrence Malick

Malick’s brand of dreamy impressionistic filmmaking is something I find really appealing, both of these movies are gorgeous and unusual and poignant and, in the case of Thin Red Line at least, have a lot of things to say about a lot of rough subjects. I don’t totally understand all those things sometimes, but a theme with a lot of my favourite movies is that I’ll be more likely to love something long-term if it raises unanswered questions, or is surreal/esoteric etc. Plus the cinematography is incredible, and I wish there was a way to get Jim Caviezel’s narration from The Thin Red Line as an audiobook because it’s very poetic and soothing.

Let the Bullets Fly (2010) dir. Jiang Wen

This movie is WILD, it’s so much fun. It’s sprawling and intricate and epic and smart and really fucking funny, it! Has! Everything! A gang of very tolerant outlaws!! Jiang Wen’s beautiful broad chest!!! Chow Yun Fat absolutely DECIMATING the scenery, and the two of them outsmarting each other in order to gain control of a small Chinese town!!! Plus it’s long, but it packs so much nonsense and intrigue that it goes by really fast. Wow what a flick

A Field in England (2013) dir. Ben Wheatley

I know I included this in my horror list but aaaaahhh ahhhh Wheatley is one of my favourite directors (he also made Sightseers, and is directing the Tomb Raider sequel which makes me absolutely rabid.) This is a surreal black-and-white psychological horror black comedy set in the English Civil War about some deserters who may or may not meet the Devil in a field. People eat mushrooms. It’s bonkers. I love being blasted in the face with imagery that I don’t understand

Mandy (2018) dir. Panos Cosmatos

Speaking of being blasted in the face!!!!! This movie... I saw it in the cinema and I can’t even begin to explain the experience, but I’ll try. My favourite review site described it like this:

“...somewhere between a prog album cover come to life and a metal album cover come to life, and subscribes to both genre's artistic tendency towards maximalism: what it ends up being is basically naught else but two glorious hours of being pounded by bold colors...”

So, prog and metal are my two favourite genres of music. This movie opens with the quote “When I die, bury me deep, lay two speakers at my feet, put some headphones on my head and rock and roll me when I'm dead.” and then a King Crimson song, it is SURREAL to the nth degree, it’s violent and bizarre and Nic Cage forges a giant silver axe to destroy demonic bikers and there is a CHAINSAW DUEL. A galaxy swirls above a quarry. Multiple animated horror nightmare sequences. At one point a man says “you exude a cosmic darkness” and releases a live tiger. At another point Cage says, in a digitally deepened voice, “The psychotic drowns where the mystic swims. You’re drowning. I’m swimming.” and I haven’t stopped thinking about it for two years

Paper Moon (1973) dir. Peter Bogdanovich

Really fantastic movie set in the Great Depression (and also in black & white) about a conman and a little kid who may or may not be his daughter, running cons across the Midwest. It’s beautifully shot, so sharp and sweet and the progression of their dynamic is really well done because they’re played by an IRL father and daughter. Tatum O’Neal was NINE YEARS OLD and she’s so amazing in this movie she’s actually the youngest person to win a competitive category Oscar. I keep trying to get people to watch this fbdjfjdbf it’s wonderful

Alpha (2018) dir. Albert Hughes

THIS MOVIE IS A VICTIM OF BAD MARKETING ok, the trailers made it look like some twee crappy sentimental Boy And His Dog Adventure, plus it had voiceovers in American-accented english? That’s a total disservice to one of the coolest things about this film; the fact that they got a linguist to construct an entirely original Neolithic language that all the characters speak for the entire runtime. And yes, it is eventually a Boy And His Wolf adventure, but it’s COOL and fairly brutal, and it has some really incredible cinematography. The landscapes are so strange and barren and alien, you really get the sense that this is an ancient world we no longer have any connection to. And it’s also about like, the birth of dog & human companionship sooo it’s perfect.

Free Solo (2018) dir. Elizabeth Chai Vasarhelyi, Jimmy Chin

The Free Climbing Documentary. I loved climbing as a kid, I love outdoor sports, and I love movies that elicit a physical reaction in me, whether that’s horny, scared, real laughter, overwhelming shivers, or in the case of Free Solo - HORRIBLE SWEATING TENSION. Like, I knew about Alex Honnold beforehand because of this adventure film festival I go to every year and I followed him on IG so obviously I knew he lived, but the actual climb itself was torture. My hands sweat every time I see it!! It’s incredible, such a cool look into generally what the human body can do, and more specifically, why Honnold’s psychology and life means he’s so well suited to free soloing. It’s such an exercise in getting to know an individual and get invested in them, before they attempt something very potentially fatal.

Brokeback Mountain (2005) dir. Ang Lee

I can’t even talk about this. When I was around 13 I snuck downstairs to watch this on TV at 11pm in secret, and my life was forever changed. I wouldn’t be who I am if I hadn’t seen Brokeback at the age I did. I seriously can’t talk about this or I’ll write an even longer essay than this already is

God’s Own Country (2017) dir. Francis Lee

The antidote to Brokeback Mountain, I’m so glad I managed to see this one in the cinema too. It makes me cry every time, as someone who’s spent years working on a cold British farm with sheep it was very realistic, which is expected since Lee grew up on a farm in Yorkshire. I love that this movie isn’t really about being closeted, but about being so emotionally repressed and self-loathing that the main character finds it so hard to accept love. Or that he deserves to be loved. The cinnamontographies.... lordt... but also the intimacy and sex scenes are fucking searing wow who hasn’t seen this movie by now. 10 stars. 20 stars!!!

Tomboy (2011) dir. Céline Sciamma

I saw this years ago but I’ve never forgotten it, it cut so deep. It’s from the director of Portrait of a Lady on Fire and it’s about a gnc kid struggling with gender and misogyny and homophobia in a really raw, scrappy way, it reminded me very much of my own... childhood... ahh the central performance is amazing for such a young age. I haven’t seen Portrait yet but I feel like if you went nuts for that, you should definitely check this out, it’s lovely.

Donnie Darko (2001) dir. Richard Kelly

EVERY TIME I WATCH THIS MOVIE I UNDERSTAND LESS AND LESS and that’s what I love so much about it. I love surreal movies, I love time-fuckery and stuff about altered perception etc etc and Donnie Darko scratches all my itches. I wish I could find a way to figure out an IT AU for it, because I know it would work! Somehow! Plus it’s got the subdued 80s nostalgia and I found it at an age when I was really starting to explore movies and music and the soundtrack FUCKS.

Offside (2006) dir. Jafar Panahi

I wish more people knew about this!!! It’s an Iranian film about a disparate group of women and girls who are football fans and want to watch Iran’s qualifying match for the World Cup, but women aren’t allowed into the stadium, so they all get thrown into the Stadium Jail together? They don’t know each other beforehand, but it’s about their changing relationships with each other and the guards and just, their defiance alongside hearing the match from the outside and WOW it’s so lively. Great dialogue and very funny, and such a different kind of story from anything you usually see from Hollywood.

The Fall (2006) dir. Tarsem Singh

This movie... I guess it’s the ideal. This is the platonic ideal of a film for me, it has fantasy, magical realism, glorious visuals, amazing score and costumes and production design and a really interesting, heartbreaking relationship at the core of it. I don’t know why so many of my favourite films feature incredibly raw performances by child actors but this is another one, Catinca Untaru barely knew any English and improvised so much because of that, and it’s fascinating to watch! Also the dynamic with Lee Pace is one of my favourites, where a kid forms a friendship with a guardian figure who isn’t their parent, but the guardian grows to really care for them by the end. It’s like Paper Moon in that sense. What is there to even say about this movie, it’s pure magic joy tempered and countered by genuine gutwrenching emotional conflict in the real world, it’s also ABOUT old moviemaking, in a way, and it’s stunning to look at!

Mad Max Fury Road (2015) dir. George Miller

I know I included this in my “most rewatched” section but it deserves its own thing. We all know why this movie is fucking incredible. I remember clutching my armrests in the cinema and feeling like my skeleton was being blasted back into the seat behind me and tbh that is the high I’m constantly chasing when I go to see any movie. What a fucking gift this film is

Théo et Hugo dans le Même Bateau (2016) dir. Olivier Ducastel, Jacques Martineau

I only found this movie last year and it became an instant favourite. Initially I was just curious because I’d never seen a movie with unsimulated sex before, but it’s so much more than the 18 minute gay sex club orgy it opens with. No, not more than, AS WELL AS. The orgy is important because this movie is so candid and frank about sex and HIV treatment in the modern day, it was eye-opening. Another thing that really got me is that I’d never seen a real-time film before. It’s literally an hour and a half in the lives of these two men, their intense connection and conversation and conflict in the middle of the night in Paris, with some really nice night photography and just!!! Wow!!! AMAZING CHEMISTRY between the actors. This is such a gem if you’re comfortable with explicit sexual content.

Ok. This is already over 3k but film is obviously one of my ridiculous passions and I can and do talk about it for hours. I’ve been reading magazines about it for years, listening to podcasts and reading review blogs and recently, watching video essays on YouTube because the whole process is so interesting to me and I want to learn more!!

Recently I’ve been thinking a lot about the concept of valuing form over narrative. The idea that story can often come second to the deeper physical experience and emotional reaction that’s created by using ALL the elements of filmmaking and not just The Story, y’know? Whether that’s editing, shot composition, colour, the sound mix, the actors, how it should all be used to heighten the emotional state the script wants you to feel. And so, I think for a few years now this approach has been influencing the types of films I really, really love.

I think I love surreality and mind-bending magical realism in films specifically because the filmmakers have to use all those different tools to convey things that can be way too metaphysical for just... a script? I’m always chasing that physical response; if a movie can make me stop thinking “I wonder what it was like to set up that shot” and instead overwhelm that suspension of disbelief, if I can be terrified or woozy or crying for whatever reason, that’s what I’m looking for. That’s why I watch so many fuckin movies, and why I’ll always remember nights like seeing IT (2017) for giving me another favourite.

Thank you again for this question, I didn’t mean to go so overboard. Also there’s no way to do a readmore on tumblr mobile so apologies to anyone’s dashboard 😬

[imalwaysaslutfordrag]

Hi hi! I got tagged by my dear friend @artificialashley and my angel baby @pink-grapefruit-cafe​ to do this. (I know this isn’t the most ~aesthetic~ version, but it’s the best I could do.)

I’m tagging: @missjanjie​ @uwusunflower​ @dollalpaca​ @phrynewrites​ @barbiehytes​ @jancox​ @onlyjans​ @astrodrag​

Now I’m gonna go into way too much detail about why I love these albums and I’ll give you some reccs if you don’t wanna listen to the whole album. 

all the little lights - passenger

I was a bit late to this album and only really sat and listened to the whole thing two years ago, but oh my god, oh my god. It’s so beautiful in the most painful fucking way. This album in particular is all about growing up and moving on from childhood. Every single song hurts, and I can’t get enough of this album.

Song Suggestions: Circles /// Life’s For The Living /// Feather on the Clyde

divide - ed sheeran

Everyone likes to give Ed Sheeran shit, and that’s cool, you can be wrong. I’ve been a fan of his since I was 11 so I can’t really stop now. I like his music a lot and I think he’s super talented and you can disagree all you like. This album is really beautiful and I’ve played through the whole thing at least twice a month since it came out. Give it a try.

Song Suggestions: Hearts Don’t Break Around Here /// What Do I Know?

iliwysfyasbysuoi - the 1975

Matty Healy is a pretentious fucking ass and I love him. This band slaps. This album slaps. It’s described as 80′s synth with pop punk elements, I just call it a fucking album of bops. And Paris is probably one of my favorite songs of all time so...

Song Suggestions: Paris /// The Ballad of Me and My Brain /// The Sound

less than I do - the band CAMINO

This is just one song, not an album, but if you fuck with my music taste so far, you should go listen to this song and this band. 

rumours - fleetwood mac

I am THE biggest slut for Fleetwood Mac you already know. 

I get that this is a basic album choice, but I do not care. Rumours is exclusively bangers and I will not apologize for having taste.

Song Suggestions: Dreams /// The Chain /// Songbird /// Go Your Own Way

whispers ii - passenger

Another Passenger album??? You may be wondering if I’m okay. I’m not. I love this album so much I can’t express how gorgeous each and every song is. It has a completely different feel than ‘all the little lights’ but it still hits so hard. Passenger is one of those bands that just knows how to stab you in the heart and twist the kinfe.

Song Suggestions: Catch in the Dark /// A Thousand Matches /// David

IN A DREAM - troye sivan

I had to have a Troye Sivan album on here lol. I’ve been really into this album the past few weeks and I 100% reccomend getting into it if you liked the vibe of Strawberries and Cigarettes and the Bloom album. I love Troye lots and I’ve been following him since he was 15 on youtube so he’s always gonna have a special place in my heart.

Song Suggestions: All of them. It’s a short album, just listen to it. 

[radio-goo-goo]

Queen 30 Day Challenge ║ Day 29 ║ Five Favourite Things About Queen       

so i might have accidentally blacked out and written a love letter/essay for this question so if that’s the sort of thing that floats your boat pls read on

1. Their Versatility I know this is said a lot, but one of my absolute favourite things about the band is just how many different music styles they have produced over their time together. I could literally rant forever about how much I love every single Queen era (including Hot Space and I will fist fight someone over this if I have to).

I went NUTS the first time I listened to Queen/Queen II because I couldn’t believe that they started off as this heavy rock meets epic fantasy kind of folksy sound that makes you want to go and run off into the forest and make fairy circles.

I think A Night At The Opera is probably the best example of how versatile Queen is. It’s genuinely masterpiece of an album and 100% deserves to be their most popular album. All of the tracks are so unique and its just such an experience to listen to every single time. 

And of course every single ballad they did; like there’s literally not a person on the planet who hasn’t heard at least one Queen ballad, if that’s not impressive idk what is.

2. Their Fashion This one isn’t that deep, I just really love their fashion and aesthetic, particularly from the early-mid 70′s. I LOVE that they all shared clothes and accessories in the early days, and the fact that they weren’t afraid to get a little bit experimental with their looks.

Zandra Rhodes is absolutely incredible and all of Freddie and Brian’s stage costumes from that era are absolutely beautiful. I also think there’s something oddly poetic about the fact that during the time where the boys were essentially broke and playing their smallest gigs was also the time where they made the effort to look the most grandiose and theatrical.

I also really appreciate that their look from the mid to late 80′s was pretty much exclusively “exhausted dad at the sunday neighbourhood bbq”. I think that was quite brave of them.

3. Their Stage Presence This one’s sort of mainly a Freddie appreciation thing but for a damn good reason because the man KNEW how to capture an audience. That description about how Freddie made it feel like he was talking to you directly in a crowd of hundreds of thousands is so accurate, even from low quality recordings of their concerts from 40 years ago it still feels the same way. The most obvious example of this is Live Aid, but if you haven’t already seen it, go watch Queen’s 1977 performance at Earl’s Court because after every few songs Freddie will just start talking to the audience either about how the night’s going or about the next song they’re going to do, but he talks in such a conversational way it really does feel like he’s just talking to you and its so soft.

I also need to talk about Wembley ‘86 because WOW do I get emotional watching that. Its impossible not to feel the energy from the band and the crowd, and you can tell how much fun all of the boys are having (especially during the acoustic set which might be my favourite part).

4. Their Vocal Harmonies Straight up I just can’t get over how incredible Brian, Freddie, and Roger’s voices sound together. I feel like I don’t even need to elaborate because y’all know exactly what I’m talking about. There are too many songs to give examples of but particularly all of Somebody To Love makes me go absolutely BANANAS (freddie was 100% correct when he said it was queen’s best song)

5. Just Like, Them As People I love that all of them are so different as individuals and the way that shows through their music. Their brotherly relationship really well and truly does warm my heart.

I love that Freddie knew he was a superstar and acted like it even when the band was only playing pub gigs and barely had a dollar to its name, that level of determination and self-confidence is honestly something I aspire to. I also love his consistent “i’m going to love the world and everyone in it but absolutely take no shit from anyone who tries to give it to me” outlook on life.

I love that Brian is so clever and multi-talented, please try and name another astrophysicist 3-D photographer international rock star (you CAN’T because that’s insane and completely ridiculous and it’s Brian and I love him for it). I love how stubborn and passionate he was about making music even if it did result in screaming matches with the rest of the band.

I love that Deaky essentially accidentally helped form one of the most popular rock groups in history, my mans joined the band at 19 and never intended to be a rock star but he did it and raised a whole family at the same time. I also love that this quiet little soft spoken bassist was the dancing queen of Queen and out of nowhere would write some of their greatest hit singles...  we really do have no choice but to stan.

I love that Roger tried to be an Adult and get a Real Life Job but said no fuck that i’m going to be a rock and roll star because that’s what i love and i’m good at it. I also love how in tune he was with the world and all the current fashions and modern trends, he really said i’m going to be well-read and cultured but make it sexy.

Essentially, I think I like Queen so much because it’s this perfect storm of four very distinct personalities that should absolutely clash but for some reason only bring out the best in each other and I think that’s really neat.

[thegreatimpersonator]

well since y’all asked

everything will be below the cut so people can just ignore this lol

the wild thing is like... everything everyone was saying from both sides makes sense. the good and the bad. i’ll start off with a pro and cons and then do a short track by track

pros:

i agree with what people are saying about how well this style suits her voice, it perfect. it’s smooth and calming but also doesnt stick her in a box and will allow her to kinda move with it and change things up as she sings, which i know she loves to do.

the production is exactly her too. it’s r&b beats with classic strings... liek that’s completely ariana grande. it’s so interesting and it weirdly works well? 

i feel like you can tell she was just in her element making these songs. i feel like she tapped into something that can be so endless for her and new ideas will be constant.

idk if it’s just me adjusting to hearing her sing but her pronunciation is getting a lot better

every song has at least one good and attractive part to it... there are no songs that i am so completely confused as to why it’s on the album.

it’s for sure my favorite era for her in terms of style

also her best album cover (but sweeter is close second) 

cons:

okay... there is a pattern with this album. every song had a really solid start. so many times i was in love with the verses and the melodies she was singing but... my god are the choruses weak. it’s just one line... repeated... like 4 times... then we move on... and i was sitting here like ‘oh that’s what we were building up to?’ and it happened with every song. so i completely agree about it kind of falling flat most of the time.

it’s so repetitive. besides the choruses mostly all being weak, the themes are all the same. like the 14 songs on the album are all about two things: her being horny or her being in love. that’s it. why did we need 14 songs to tell us two things.

another point: why were there 14 songs? so many filler tracks that just add nothing to the album for me. she could’ve honestly made a solid 10 track album and it would’ve been a good clean piece of work. 

the lyrics... oh my god the lyrics. the one thing i saw people saying, both fans of the album and not, was that the lyrics were really bad... liek they had to prepare people. and my god. there were some points that straight up sounded like 14 year old stan accounts arguing on twitter... ‘you sound dumb... shut up’ SHE USED THAT LYRIC AS A HOOK... she thought it was so good it deserved to be the hook like? and also there’s a lyric that just straight up says ‘read a fucking book’ lol. the good or tolerable lyrics are basically ones she already used before on other songs? like how many time's has this woman sung about fucking while watching movies... 

she needs to stop putting out albums so frequently. a lot of the complaints i see people having is just that it doesnt feel finished or polished enough to be an album. like she should have waiting a few months and refined things. it feels like a stepping stone rather than a destination. she doesnt have a clear vision, narrative or purpose driving the album at all. 

track by track

shut up: this was the first taste of bad lyrics like this is the song about being dumb and i fully was like omfg this is the whole song isnt it. i dig the production though.. this might have the best production of the whole album for me. 

34+35: i felt like i was listening to a horny 13 year old boy during the chorus lol. it just felt really immature at some points... like the giggling every time she alluded to 69 wasnt necessary. also the end where she says ‘mean i wanna 69 with ya’..... sweetie you didnt have to tell us we know we can add. i did like the melody of the pre-chorus. the ‘i’ve been drinkin coffee, i’ve been eatin healthy’ is really catchy and good

motive: god i had such high hopes for this. it first started and i loved the production and the prechorus worked really well... but again that chorus weakness really fucked it. and doja’s part doesnt really fit the song for me? it feels out of place and like she should’ve been put on a more upbeat song

just like magic: first song i actually liked and added to my library! i finally heard a good chorus that didnt feel like it completely slowed down the momentum of the song and helped move it along. and the lyrics are cute. i think for me she needs to improve on the difference between a cute lyric and a cringy lyric... like cute: ‘middle finger to my thumb and then I snap it’ and cringy: the rest of the album. also one thing there’s a lyric about her listening to music she wrote and like girl you had 34 writers on this album... what are you listening to two words? every time she brags about writing it’s kinda embarrassing like.... at no point am i impressed

off the table: this production would have been so good.... if it actually did anything else or went anywhere. it stayed the same the entire time.... for 4 minutes. also stop letting men on women’s music because it seriously never works. her vocals are really pretty though.

six thirty: i really like her vocal delivery in this... like kinda dropping off at the end and just starting to talk? it’s interesting. also the chorus really had potential because it actually got bigger and more layered and interesting but again with the one lyric ‘are you down’ repeated like 3 times then the chorus is just over it’s like... oh okay

safety net: again amazing verse delivery and melody... IF SHE TOOK IT ANYWHERE it would have been great. and again with the male features... not necessary. the bridge is cool with them both singing but other than that it feel flat for me. 

my hair: that smooth electric guitar intro is everything. and this sound of this song is so good.... but.... am i the only person who kinda feels weird about ariana, a white girl, being like ‘you can run your hands through me hair... dont be scared’ like?? why would they be scared... your hair is straight lol. it just toys with the whole idea of ‘don’t touch a black women’s hair’ for me. idk it could totally be a me overanalyzing thing. but god is she sang about anything else this would be my favorite song. second song i added to my library.  

nasty: if i had to pick one song that was my exact expectations for this album before listening to it it would be this one. the electronic hip-hop beat with the harmonies and vocals, all paired together for a song about her being horny (again), like yeah this all fits. it feels lost in some places though. like some points i feel like i have no idea what part for the song we’re on or what’s happening and we’re just treading water. and another weak chorus with 1 lyric repeated over and over again. (also random side not that intro of her talking reminded me of when she gave that billboard interview and people were mad at her bc she starting talking with an accent even though shes white... like thats what i thought of i was like ma’am you are a rich white theater kid form florida you do not speak like that)

west side: the production in the beginning is so cool? where is sounds like a tape rewinding kinda? love that. but other than that like... no point to this song being included on the album... it’s 2 minutes and it falls flat pretty early on.

love language: this was the one i saw most people agreeing was the best one/most hyped. i expected to be a ballad but it’s one of the more upbeat ones and honestly thank god. a chorus that actually has structure and goes somewhere? wild. good and creative lyrics? WILD. anyway the production is great and reintroduces that kinda 70s vibe from motive but in a refreshing way. really good tie in. third song added to the library. 

positions: i honestly didn’t even listen to this when it came out so i really had no idea what to expect. again the strings and orchestral pairs so well together... one of my favorite instrumentals on the whole album. i 100% see why this was the lead single and i agree with it completely. the most catchy chorus and it moves the song forward WHAT A CONCEPT. also very good placement on the tracklist because it was really refreshing. at this point it kinda started to drag on a little but this picked it right up. it also kinda threw me completely off balance because i was so familiar with the pattern of good verse weak chorus good verse weak chorus, but this is the opposite? weak verses but amazing chorus. forth song added to library.  also i am genuinely curious why it’s the album title? it doesnt really fit the theme of the album but then again one of my complaints is that it doesnt really have a theme to begin with so... 

obvious: the imagery i got when the music came in was like a dark 80′s lounge with dark wood furniture and i loved it lol. the same thing with positions, a surprising and refreshing combo of weak verse but good chorus which was nice. i can see it easily getting me stuck in my head, especially that hook. fifth song added to my library. 

pov: this is the other song off the album i heard everyone generally loved. i would say this has the best theme and story of the entire album. it has an interesting concept that isnt overly used and the whole song is pretty good decent verse and decent chorus. i love the end where she gets powerful and has more grit in her voice and we get more emotion out of her... wish she didnt wait until the last 30 seconds of the whole album to finally deliver with that but sure. sixth song to be added to the library. 

overall i was pretty surprised at how much i enjoyed it? i really expected not to the way everyone was talking about it. i think it is a good album with just some clear flaws, that could have been easily fixed if she didnt rush the album out so quickly. better lyrics and better judgement/deliberation of which songs deserve to be on the album and it would have been so solid. i would give it an overall rating of 6/10. 

here’s my current ranking:

[harrys-thick-thighs]

Dua Lipas’ ‘Future Nostalgia’ is A Pop Masterpiece. Argue With Your Mama.

ok so I'm gonna go track by track and do an overall recap at the end

Future Nostalgia: ok this is the opening track and its actually not my favorite but its a BRILIANT opening track. it sets the vibe and the stage for the rest of the album, which is what a good opening song should do. it gives me very retro space cadet, very 80s futuristic vibes - hence future nostalgia 

Don't start now - at first, I only knew this as the song from TikTok but now that I listen to the full song it's really good. the whole album is a dance album but something about don't start now hits different as a dance track it's amazing and a great follow up to the opener - it sets the stage even more before you get into the meat and potatoes lol 

Cool - A SUMMER BANGER. once miss Rona takes fucking seat I better hear cool on the radio. it's fun and light and fresh and just has such a good summer vibe. it was and still is one of my favorites and it has the same retro funky pop vibe of the rest of the album but in a light airy way...does that make sense? 

Physical: not one of my favorites HOWEVER I LOVE THE LYRICS it gives me a very 80s action movie. very fast and furious vibes. a car chase scene in a movie. very Charlies angles. do you see the vision? ya picking up what I'm putting down? 

Levitating: this song ABSOLUTELY DOES NOT HAVE TO GO AS HARD AS IT DOES. A BOP. A MASTERPIECE. LEGENDARY. GROUNDBREAKING. it gives me very Michael Jacksons Off the Wall vibes. THIS is what the pop girlies have been ASKING FOR. 

Pretty Please: an underrated masterpiece. the girlies need TASTE for this one. shes advanced. shes AP level. put some respeK on her name. I will not tolerate slander. 

Hallucinate: THIS? THIS IS THE ONE. THIS IS IT LADS. That beat? amazing. Lyrics? on 10. Vocals? spectacular. 80s disco all the way. it gives me slight Katy perry vibes??? anyone else?? another amazing dance track. this one is honestly one of my favorites. like it just has such a good groove.

Love Again: THE TRANSITION FROM THE VIOLINS TO THE BEAT DROP? MY SOUL LEFT MY BODY. PERIODT. I thought miss Dua was gonna give us a ballad but she switched up and took my wig with her. a mid-tempo dance track can be hard to do but she did it somehow. still giving me Michael Jackson vibes. not gonna lie I had to listen to it a few times for it to grow on me but its a masterpiece. 

Break my Heart: literally from the second beat of the song I knew it was gonna be a banger. AND I WAS RIGHT. wow. I almost have no words. I can feel that baseline in my SOUL. like it just hits different. it's so funky and groovy and it just...hits different. absolute favorite track on the album. Miss Dua did what she had to do with this one. she said I AINT PLAYIN WITH YOU HOES NO MORE. 

Good in Bed: no cap I thought break my heart was the end of the album cause I had NO IDEA this was dua. she sounds so different for some reason. to be honest it's not one of my favorites BUT it's so fun. it gives me Megan trainers first (the album all about that bass was on) album vibes? if you know her first album I think you'll know what I mean. It gives me retro but not retro like the rest of the album...retro a like jukebox in a 50s diner retro. I think this one's gonna grow on me tho. 

Boys Will Be Boys: “boys will be boys, but girls will be women” NEED I FUCKING SAY MORE??? also the children's choir, (I think) adds so much and I love it. 10/10 the best lyrics on the album and I love the message. and I like how she chose this to be the one song that sounds different from the rest of the album AND its the last song to make a statement. this song needs to be in a dove commercial lol.

********************

Overall this album is what the Pop girlies have been asking for for a decade now. It's so groovy and funky and retro yet fresh and fun. there's a clear theme and sound but each song has its own groove and vibe and they fit so well together. I can't remember the last time I heard an album that had THIS cohesive of a sound. this WILL be my summer album. it just makes you feel good and makes you wanna dance and in such a dark time this is what I personally needed. I think Future Nostalgia is the perfect name for the album cause like I said before - its so retro and old school groovy pop but it's so new and fresh and even has some early 2010s sounds in there. whoever produced this album DID WHAT THEY CAME TO DO.  there's truly a song for everyone. Dua Lipa is here and shes STAYING. GRAMMYS 2021 BABYE!! thank you for coming to my ted talk. 

[springday-aus]

Librarian!AU with Jinyoung

moodboard link

Group: GOT7

Member: Park Jinyoung 

Genre: fluff, romance

Type: Bulletpoint AU 

Word Count: 1.4k

so Jinyoung works at the library’s circulation desk part time nearby a college campus 

most of the time, it’s lil old ladies working there 

highkey the type that everyone oogles over because he’s so handsome 

like bro…. 

when Jinyoung was hired……. 

it’s almost as if people started to come to the library more often….. 

gee 

I wonder why when the light hits just right and he’s got on his circle glasses with a book in hand 

we love an educated man 

anyways 

to the actual librarian aspects 

he’s actually really resourceful, especially to all the college students who come in and don’t know where the fuck to start on a paper that is literally due that night 

but that ain’t gonna stop him from being like “you put this on yourself” 

@Yugyeom 

100% hunts people down about overdue books 

the other librarians tell him it’s fine 

but he remembers faces REALLY well 

Jinyoung: “this library card is literally expired” 

Jinyoung: “you’re the one that owes those overdue disks” 

Jinyoung: “you owe 69 cents” 

some student: “ah, you know what that means” 

Jinyoung: “yeah, I do—get out” 

Jinyoung: “Jackson, I’m not lending this out to you until you return Twlight: New Moon” :) 

stupid people come in all the time but he knows it can be a lot worse 

but like…… jesus christ 

some of these people….... are just testing him 

speaking of which, Jaebum def comes in to bother him all the time 

not like bother bother, but like…….. bother 

and with Jaebum comes the rest of got7 and that’s chaos alone 

imagine Bambam in a quiet space 

that’s right

you can’t 

their visits to the library almost always end with them getting kicked out by Jinyoung himself 

anyways there isn’t much to the job 

checks people’s books out, organizing books, and that’s pretty much it 

he probably organizes all the stuff he has to do and then chills at the front desk 

80% of the time he’s reading a book there 

it’s a real convenient job for Jinyoung, especially since he really likes quiet spaces 

because everyone’s like studying or something, it makes him want to be productive too 

and yeah people are awful 

but at least they’re quiet (for most of the time) 

so where do you come in? 

you come in to study nearly every weeknight 

there’s just so much work you have to do 

and it’s insane 

you need like a quiet space to work and the library’s just……… 

there 

remember what I said about Jinyoung remembering faces? 

he knows yours 

most of the time, when he’s working, you’ll be at the table in the corner, working away 

he admires your work ethic 

(even though sometimes you’ll watch the strangest Youtube videos whenever you take a break) 

it was kind of like this for a while

he would just be working and so would you 

so what happens? 

you lost your wallet 

**cue you internally screaming as you rummage through your bag**

you literally have like a mental breakdown as you were back at your home 

that literally had everything you needed 

your ID card 

bus pass 

insurance cards

even the fucking buy 6 get 1 free for the froyo you love to get 

now you have to start all over 

you’re freaking the fuck out 

and all of your friends tell you the same thing “retrace your steps and if you don’t find it, let the companies all know the situation” 

so that’s where you start 

you literally look through every nook and cranny as you retrace your steps 

the last stop is at the library

you’re literally crawling on top and below the table, searching for the wallet you lost 

Jinyoung’s working at the desk, as per usual 

he’s literally just watching you scramble around 

okay 

not like that 

but like no one is really here and you’re moving around so quickly 

anyways 

after like 15 minutes of searching, you walk up to the desk 

you’ve literally been coming here for months and this is literally the first time you’ve walked up to the desk 

Jinyoung acts like he doesn’t see you heading his way, making it look like he’s invested in his book 

You: “ahem” 

he looks at you with his glasses on the bridge of his nose 

You: “has anyone brought up a wallet?” 

when you were here earlier, Jinyoung may or may not had noticed a little wallet falling out of your bag as you packed your things to leave 

Jinyoung: “I saw one earlier, but I’ll check if it’s still here” 

you just wait at the desk, tapping on it as Jinyoung goes through the lost and found bin 

he walks back up to the desk and gently places it down 

Jinyoung: “I’m not sure if it is yours, so you should check it—” 

you look overjoyed at the familiar patterned wallet 

You: “thank you, thank you, thank you—I owe you my life” 

you’ve grabbed ahold of his arms and your eyes sparkle at him like a savior 

he’s a bit flustered from your thanks and smiles at you, as you continue to ramble 

You: “you don’t understand, you literally saved from doing like 900 things to get all the stuff back; I will literally pay for your dinner or something. I literally am so grateful—” 

you cut yourself off, realizing what that sounded like 

You: “nevermind, cross that out, I’m so sorry, I’ll just leave or something before I look like an even bigger idiot—” 

Jinyoung just chuckles at your rambling 

Jinyoung: “sure” 

You: “wait what” 

Jinyoung has nothing to lose 

you’re cute—he’s noticed you for a while 

one date can’t hurt 

Jinyoung: “I’ll let you take me out” 

so you two set up a date

y’all went to dinner like you said 

but, like a gentleman, he didn’t let you pay

Jinyoung: “you can pay on the next date” 

dating Jinyoung is as cute as it sounds 

there’s lots of cute, study dates when he’s working and you have things you have to do 

but now you sit closer to the desk

and he spends a majority of the time near your table 

he’s not a big PDA person, but with the look in his eyes anyone can tell y’all are together 

anyways 

it’s not just at the library, but y’all also chill at places like cafes and bookshops too 

speaking of book shops

y’all go bookshop hopping a lot t

hey’re cute to go to 

oooo AND he’ll probably read to you 

imagine your head in his lap and his fingers are going through your hair and his voice 

y’all 

his voice

anyways 

speaking of home dates 

imagine him cooking for you 

hmmmm 

he would def do that bc Jinyoung is such boyfriend material 

straight up he’s the ideal son-in-law 

he’s smart 

attractive 

talented 

well-mannered 

I can literally go on for DECADES 

okay but there’s like this weird switch

he’s usually so mature around you 

but like..... as time goes 

he’s also lowkey a child with you 

like yes this man is domestic as hell but then again….. 

there was this one time you were hanging with 97 line 

y’all were making fun of him (out of love) 

**cue Yugyeom singing shake it shake it for me** 

(apparently he and Jaebum wrote a song in high school together and now none of got7 will ever let it go) 

Jinyoung proceeded to glare at him 

and you just kept laughing 

two weeks later and he’s still pouty about it 

You: come onnnnnnn 

You: baby pls look at me 

Jinyoung: why don’t you just keep singing instead 

You: omg let it go 

OOOH 

SPEAKING OF SINGING 

YO 

karaoke dates are the bomb 

they get even more lit with got7 

the minute Big Bang is on, it gets real crazy 

last time y’all got kicked out 

because Youngjae kept running into the wall from dancing 

and BamBam was on the table 

but each time you go, Jinyoung will sing a ballad and you’re 100% whipped 

it’s fine 

y’all are both whipped for each other 

he really takes care of you 

and vice versa 

y’all have a system

in summary: lots of fun dates and support and love for each other 

[negativefouriq]

Nothing on this Earth is easier than excuses. No matter what I do, no matter how guilty I am, I’ll always find some way to excuse myself, to explain away the problem. It can be for small things, like using my depression to convince myself that it’s okay that I was too tired to get out of bed this morning and submit an assignment on time. It can be for bigger things, like justifying letting myself go without talking to any other person for weeks at a time, because “my social battery is just dead”. Or for even bigger things, like convincing myself that manipulating someone is okay, because as soon as I’m out from under my parents’ regime, I can repay them. And it can be for huge things, like convincing myself I’m not good enough compared to the philanthropists I see everywhere, and so if I just repost an informative tweet about how Yemen children don’t have enough food to survive for another day, then my civil duty is done. Explain, justify, excuse. Explain, justify, excuse. Explain. Justify. Excuse.

Explain, justify, excuse. Explain. Justify. Excuse. Explain. Justify. Excuse.

Explain.

Justify.

Excuse.

Over and over. Rinse, lather, repeat. As much as I like to believe I’m an activist, I’m just not. I’m not better than anyone else on the planet, convincing myself I’m doing alright. It could be worse. I’m changing the world. Just a little bit, but a little bit is okay. Right?

 No.

 I can convince myself to the moon and back, but no matter how hard I try, there will always be a little stain of guilt, too stubborn for me to wash away. No matter how hard I try, I can’t just wish away others’ pain. I can’t close my eyes and pretend that “things will just work out”. I can’t. I can’t. I can’t.

And I can whip myself around in circles, scream at the guilt that I’m just a kid, I’m just a goddamn kid, how can I be expected to take on the weight of the world? How can I go out on the streets, and throw myself in between a dirty cop and an unarmed black man? How can I take every penny I’ve every saved, and give it away to foreign countries that aren’t my responsibility? Why do I feel the weight of the fucking world on my shoulders? I’m a kid. I’m a goddamn kid! I don’t even have my license! I don’t have control over any money! I can’t even vote! How can I be expected to help those in need, when I can’t even help myself?

I can scream and cry and fit at that guilt all I want. I can read thousands of articles about how kids shouldn’t have that much responsibility; I shouldn’t invalidate my own feelings because others “have it worse”. Hell, I’ve comforted people with those exact words.

 That doesn’t change how disgusted I am with myself. With every person around me.

 Every time I complain because I didn’t get dinner at the time I’m used to having it, when I binge eat because I’m too weak to stop myself, when I let myself have “five more minutes” and sleep for two days straight, I’m fucking disgusted. I hate myself.

And yea, okay. Maybe it’s the stupid depression talking. Maybe my mind isn’t in the right place. Maybe I am being to hard on myself.

But maybe I’m not.

I’ll see the pictures, of kids so starved you can count every bone. I’ll see videos, of an unarmed black man begging for his life as a cop kneels on his neck. I’ll see art, showing the twentieth trans kid this month to throw himself into traffic as his family screams at him that he’s an abomination. I’ll open Twitter to see hundreds of men yelling at a woman that she asked for it, if she didn’t want to be raped then she should have covered up, she should have done better. I’ll scroll down Instagram and hear speeches, of advocates begging, pleading, “Please, please, the children are in cages. The guards are killing them with chemicals, Mr. President, please, let them go, sir, please – ” and suddenly I can’t breath, my vision is blurry, my head is pounding, “Jackie please, please, you can help us, we need your help, please, they’re killing us, please, our children our dying, we’re suffocating, please, help us Jackie please –”

 Screaming. I’m screaming, because I can help. I have the money, so much, I could use it on those kids, I could save lives, and I’m trying to pay some rich white men to teach me something I could Google? I’m paying someone to live in a shitty apartment when I have an adequate house with my parents? I’m paying five dollars a month for a music subscription; those five dollars could save someone’s life!

The guilt eats me alive. It gnaws my flesh, devours my soul, until I have to run away from my own self, until I’m wiping my brain, I’m numb, because feeling nothing is better than the guilt and the pain that consumes my soul.

I have to think of nothing, because thinking of everything will kill me. And as much as I’m not doing nearly enough to help people now, I can’t do anything if I’m dead.

 This guilt doesn’t consume me every day. No, usually I can push it right back into a box in my brain that I avoid at all costs. I can shut it up, yell over it, move on in my life.

But every once in a while.

I’ll read some sort of poem. I’ll see a picture I can’t rip out of my mind. I’ll see a kid, lying in the street, tears spilling over as she begs for a dollar, please, just a loonie, I need a meal, I haven’t eaten in days –

Or maybe I’ll read a book. I’ll pick up the new Hunger Games book, because hey, I love this author. Let’s see what this is about!

And I’ll read this book, The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes, and I’ll be disgusted with this protagonist, who thinks he’s better than everyone else because of his bloodline, who worries about his education more than the people his city kills, who is unbothered by his government’s brutal murder of children. I’m horrified that the citizens of this fictional city, the Capitol, just allow their leaders to demand the sacrifice of twenty-four children each year of their own entertainment. I’m revolted that these people are out, spending money dyeing their skin and curling their hair when their poorer citizens can’t even feed themselves. I’ll enjoy the story, though – it’s well-written, intriguing, contrasting. I’ll finish in a day, then settle down into bed, smiling, because, hey, I liked that book.

And then the insomnia kicks in. The hours will tick by, and I’ll stare at my ceiling, and I will see, I will see that the log in my eye is thousands of times bigger than the speck in my neighbour’s eye. Throughout this book, I sat and judged these people, these fictional people. I put myself on a pedestal, because, woah, I’m not THAT bad. Jesus, they’re barbaric!

And then I’ll realise. Slowly, as the seconds flit away and all I’m seeing is the white of my ceiling, the weight of my blanket, and I’ll realise.

I am just as bad as Coriolanus Snow.

As I worry about affording a fancy university education, people, teenagers, in my own community are living on the streets. (As Snow worried about affording university, people in the districts were homeless, without any promise of their next day.)

As I bake my fifth pie today out of boredom, 80% of Yemen’s population is in crisis, most of them haven’t eaten in weeks. (As Snow stuffs himself on Capitol delicacies and worries about his image, children are dropping like flies in the district. Hundreds of them.)

As fearlessly play cops and robbers with my siblings, black children are shot for having toy guns. (As Snow helps find ways to make the Games more interesting, twenty-four families each year mourn the deaths of their children.)

As I giddily twirl around in a dress I liked and bought at the store, a trans girl is beaten by her father for growing her hair. (As Snow wears his pressed and perfected Academy uniform, children in the districts wear threadbare rags, and die of exposure.)

As I complain about having to share a tiny room with my brother as my new room is being built, disease spreads through the cages children of illegal immigrants must share in detention centres. (As Snow fears losing his prestigious penthouse, people in the districts live in one-room shacks.)

And as the realisation sets in, the guilt grows. And the soul-eating panic sets back in, because I can not hold it back. I cannot pretend with it standing to defiantly in front of me, with my disgust reflected right back at me so clearly. I have all this money, all this privilege, and yet I am ungrateful.

And I realise.

My minimal efforts are not enough. I am going to have to make sacrifices. I am going to have to speak out. I am going have to say goodbye to the comforts I am used to, because it’s just not fair. I can’t sit under my weighted blanked and hide from the cruel world. I am no longer a child. I must face the pain of the world, the crying of the dying children, and I must step up. I must help in all ways I can to see the lessons of the book, se the clear correlation between my life and the life of the character I so despise, and I must change the world.

[tiesandtea]

The London Suede Come To America (1995)

"Some days I wake up and I feel absolutely bullet proof," says Suede mainman Brett Anderson. "When I wrote 'So Young' I wanted a song that was like that... pure raging excitement."

By Michael Goldberg, Addicted To Noise (ATN), San Francisco. Archived here.

ATN was founded by Goldberg, who previously worked as an associate editor and senior writer for Rolling Stone, in 1994. It was one of the first online music magazine that offered audio samples and video interview clips with its editorial content. The first issue came out in December 1994. (x, x)

In the midst of a February/March club tour of America, ATN caught up with Anderson in Detroit for a frank chat about naked men in dog collars, the New British Invasion, the Sex Pistols, and his drug(s) of choice.

Suede leader Brett Anderson is a wisp of a man, who claims not to court controversy despite provocative album cover art and such lyrics as "I want the style of a woman, the kiss of a man." Yet he's caused plenty of controvery. Consider his comment to Details that he's "a bisexual man who's never had a homosexual experience." Sexual ambiguity sells, as has been clear since Elvis appeared on the scene some 40-plus years ago.

Suede bring Bowie's Ziggy Stardust sound (and androgyny) into the '90s. These Brits know how to make hits. "So Young," "The Drowners," "Metal Mickey," and "Animal Nitrate" were brash, infectious pop confections that begged to blast from car radios. They flew up the charts in Britain upon release.

Dog Man Star, the group's second album, is a song suite, an hour of metallic bang-a-gong rockers and ethereal ballads. Anderson can sing as trashy as the late Marc Bolan, but he can also hold his own crooning with the likes of George Michael or, going back some decades, Bing Crosby. And he's not afraid to go against convention­­in fact, he seems to relish it­­ freely admitting that he liked Kriss Kross records and just can't understand the popularity of grunge rockers Pearl Jam and neo-punks Green Day and the Offspring.

Anderson and bassist Mat Osman grew up in Haywards Heath, a bland suburb located 40 miles south of London ("Quite a horrible little place," Anderson told one reporter). His father took odd jobs; in recent years he's driven a taxi. His mother died of cancer in 1989. His father was a fan of Liszt, going so far as to name Anderson's sister Blandine, after the composer's daughter. He first heard both the Beatles and the Sex Pistols playing on his sister's phonograph.

Anderson felt like an outsider from as early as he can remember. And he always wanted to be a rock star. In fact, he says he assumed everyone wanted to be rock stars, and was flabbergasted the first time he met someone who didn't.

Away from the raucous punk and post punk scene of the late '70s and early '80s (he was 7 years old in 1977, the year of the Sex Pistols), Anderson romanticised being in a band, and dreamed. Ask him his influences and he doesn't hesitate: the Beatles, the Stones, Bowie, the Sex Pistols, the Smiths, "and punk bands like Crass."

In 1985, at age 15, Anderson strummed an acoustic guitar and sang on the street for spare change. He says he played in "hundreds" of bands [clearly an overstatement] but eventually landed in London with Osman. They placed an ad in the New Musical Express which brought them guitarist/songwriter Bernard Butler, and some time later replaced their drum machine with Simon Gilbert.

By April of 1992, before they'd even had a record released, Melody Maker put them on the cover, declaring, "The Best New Band In Britain." Funny thing is, they lived up to the hype.

And they've managed to survive their 15 minutes of fame. Anderson expects the group to record another album following spring and summer tours of Asia and Europe, then return to tour America in the winter. The album won't be released until next year.

In the midst of a February/March club tour of America, ATN caught up with Anderson in Detroit for a frank chat about naked men in dog collars, the New British Invasion, the Sex Pistols, and his drug(s) of choice.

Addicted To Noise: I found it interesting that "So Young," off your first album, was about that feeling of invincibilty experienced when one is "so young," a sentiment more recently expressed in the Oasis' hit "Live Forever."

Brett Anderson: "So Young" came from our first flush of success and the desire of everyone around you to kind of settle you down. The desire of people to almost build a rock star career, and to actually take all the joy out of it, the pure joy you get out of being in a band that people love. It was one of those songs that I wrote with an audience in mind. There's certain songs that you have to hear sung back at you. One of the things that I loved about "The Drowners" [their first UK hit], it was written as a quite personal thing but the way the song works best is when you've got 2000 people singing, "You're taking me over." I did have in my head the vision of 5000 people singing back to me with "So Young." I love that. It was supposed to be quite anthemic, it was supposed to be quite stupid. I didn't want to be turned into some kind of intelligent, literate pop star, you know what I mean?

ATN: Why not?

Anderson: I don't think there's any place for intelligence in music. I can't see the point. Music's instinctive and it's natural and it's dumb. It's real dumb.

ATN: What were you trying to communicate in that song?

Anderson: There's just a feeling of absolute invincibility that you get sometimes, especially if you've been in bands a long time and it's taking you a while to actually convince people. Some days I wake up and I feel absolutely bullet proof. I wanted a song that was like that. That was actually almost pure raging excitement.

ATN: The cover of your latest album, Dog Man Star, depicts a young man lying naked on a bed. Who is that?

Anderson: The picture is from a book of photographs I've had for a long time. It's actually the husband of the photographer who took it and it was taken the day after they split up. It's a beautiful picture. It's something I've had for a long time and we've never made a record that really fit it, and then we did. It was one of those things where I took it into the band and everyone went "Ah, that's the one."

ATN: Both album covers are controversial in their own way.

Anderson: They're not meant to be in the slightest. You should see the original of the Suede album. The picture we used is actually cropped. The original full picture, the woman on the right is naked in a wheelchair and the other one is kneeling to kiss her. It's a beautiful picture. And we got the right to use it. But one of the things we did was to phone up the two models in the picture to check if they were all right with it because it's an image that's going to be seen all over the world and one of them didn't want it used. Which is fair enough. It's a twenty year old picture, or whatever. But I just liked the mood of it so we cropped it. But it wasn't intended to be controversial. I mean one of the things people always say is it's so androgynous. Which is really weird, cause in the original you can tell it's two women. But anyone who is shocked by two women kissing in 1995 is a fucking half-wit.

"If we wanted to be controversial we'd have called the album I fucked dogs," says Anderson. "It's fucking easy to be controversial and difficult to be good."

ATN: Yeah, but that's what's so interesting particularly about America. I've lived in San Francisco all my life and in San Francisco, as you know, is a very sexually liberated city. But you go to Kansas, or some of these places you go through when you tour, and it's like the Stone Age.

Anderson: I know. America is definitely like three or four different countries. No, there was no intention to be controversial. I'm not really interested in being controversial. If we wanted to be controversial we'd have called the album I fucked dogs. It's fucking easy to be controversial and difficult to be good.

ATN: In putting two women kissing on the cover of that album, what did you want to say?

Anderson: Nothing. It's a beautiful image. I don't give a fuck about things like that, what people will think. One of the funny things about that is you had all these people phoning me up going, "Yeah, we think we're offended by your album cover but we're not sure. Cause we don't know what it is." Oh, well it's a man kissing a woman. "Oh." Only kidding, it's two women. "Oh, we're offended then." No, no I was joking. It's actually a man and a woman. "Oh we're not offended then." It's the same fucking picture. It's not for me to think about. I'm not going to think about it.

ATN: But you got that kind of reaction to the first one and then you put out Dog Man Star. You're saying you weren't courting controversy with that cover?

Anderson: Not in the slightest. It's because we come from Britain where no one gives a shit. Really. And to think that a semi-naked man is in any way controversial is one of the great horrors of this century. You should have seen the original fucking cover for Dog Man Star, man.

ATN: What was that like?

Anderson: It's from One Hundred and Twenty Days In Sodom . You know that film? Passolini?

ATN: I haven't seen that.

Anderson: It's fantastic. It was the naked man in a dog collar snarling at the camera. That was a fucking brilliant picture but we couldn't get the rights to that. So perhaps we should have gone with that and then I could be discussing controversy with you. I don't think it's a big deal. There are people who are professionally outraged nowadays . That's their job. But no one's actually outraged. They just think they ought to be.

ATN: It's a position they take.

Anderson: Right. It's my job to be outraged by a naked man. And it's the woman over there whose job it is to be outraged by a naked woman.

ATN: Do you think there's a New British Invasion really going on right now? Can it be compared to what happened with the original "British Invasion" in the '60s? And do you think that that's what's going to happen?

Anderson: No I don't think so. It's all very well for a bunch of people in the media to get excited about it, but a British invasion is when British bands start selling a lot of records in the States, and at the moment British bands aren't selling any records.

ATN: It seems to me that some of the bands haven't been getting the kind of shot that they should get over here.

Anderson: We've certainly felt like that. It's always been quite strange for us 'cause the records have kind of leapt out everywhere else, all over Europe and Japan. The records just sell more and more each time. But we've found that American radio is pretty hard going. And radio and MTV are pretty much what make you over here.

ATN: You're over here, you're touring. Are you feeling like there's any kind of change yet in the reception?

Anderson: Absolutely. It's probably different for us because we've got pretty much a hardcore cult following over here. So we've never had a problem in the US. It's always been very comfortable for us. We've always had a very good time here. Whether or not that translates into anything kind of mainstream, we'll have to see. There's definitely a different musical climate in England and a different musical climate in America. I don't think the bands have ever been less connected. And I think that's a real shame. I think all the great music in the world has been universal music. I'm not really interested in flying the flag for Britain. I don't give a shit, really. I'd like to make records that turn the world on. That everyone wanted. I think the whole thing is a bit of a red herring.

ATN: What are you saying?

Anderson: The whole idea of British Invasions and American renaissances. It does away with the concept of people just making good records.

ATN: There are some really great English bands right now. Suede, Oasis, Bush, Elastica...

Anderson: I think definitely the British music scene has fucking woken up a little bit and realized that you can't just sit around and make cool records for your mates. But I think there's a long ways to go. And things are still pretty divided between Britain and the US. There's no way you could hear a record and say, "I'm not sure which country that comes from." That's quite a shame, I think.

ATN: One problem is that people in America aren't really getting exposed to the new British rock & roll.

Anderson: That's the frustrating thing. I don't mind being hated. There's loads of places we go where people have heard us and they despise us. Yeah, it's really frustrating to know that people just haven't heard of you. And the real divisions in American radio. For a while I spent 24 hours a day listening to alternative radio. I think it's horrifying [the way bands are pigeonholed]. I think it's completely un-American. And I think it's a real problem for a lot of British bands, 'cause a lot of British bands fall between the genres. I mean I don't think of us as an alternative band and we'd sound pretty exotic on alternative radio. But then if you try to get us on Top 40 radio, they say we're too alternative. The problem is if you don't immediately fit into something quite comfortable. American radio has become more and more compartmentalized, which is a shame because it's a totally un-American attitude. One of the things that Americans have always been respected for is the breadth of what they're into. America has been the place where people like Black Sabbath and they like Portishead. I think it's quite sad that it's actually being carved up, kind of like demographic radio.

ATN: Dog Man Star seems more introspective, with a lot more ballads and slower material than the first album.

Anderson: A lot of changes between this album and the first one are just to do with having the time and the money to make the record that we always wanted to make. The first record is filled up with live tracks and things we've been playing for a couple of years. And when you're starting out you write big storming rockers that actually grab people's attention. You're desperate to be heard. Whereas this one we knew people were actually going to listen to it. It's a bit more subtle. We wanted to do something that you could really just lose yourself in, that you could dive into. And we wanted to actually make an album rather than a collection of singles. We sat and wrote it as an album. You know, we wrote the songs in one batch and all of the songs are like little cousins of each other. And it's supposed to be a whole album that you can actually live in and from the minute it turns on you just get swept away by it. There are a lot of changes of mood in it and a lot of changes of pace. Like one long song with an introduction, verses and choruses and even an outro.

Anderson: But I don't think it's more introspective. I think it's less introspective.

ATN: Really?

Anderson: Yeah, I think it takes on the world a bit more. I think the record takes the world on, whereas the first one was probably what was happening in our heads. This one lives in the real world.

ATN: Give me an example of that.

Anderson: Something like "We Are the Pigs" or "The Asphalt World." They're not about just what's going on in my head. They're about the people around me and the world about me and the city around me and the country around me.

ATN: Did you go somewhere to write the album?

Anderson: I did. I was living in a place called Highgate. It's a very strange place. It's a beautiful little bit of London. It's like the 14th century or something. It's got like a village green and people have rabbit hutches in their gardens and it's between two of the fucking roughest bits of London. I basically just shut myself in a bare white room for about three months and I didn't do anything but just sit and write. It's quite an inspiring place because it's very quiet and very calm but you're seconds away from real degradation and squalor. I find it quite inspiring. I need a bit of calm to write. I don't need calm in any other part of my life. But to write, I like to just sit back and let it wash over me.

ATN: Talk a bit about the lyrics on this album, and the songs.

Anderson: I think a lot of it is very blank. A lot blanker than the first one. For the first one, I used to sit down and actually slave over them and change words and did like 50 drafts. But a song like "The Asphalt World" is really simply written and it's written about kind of what I did during the day. I wanted to write something that was quite simple, that was just about me and the people around me. Things like that and "The 2 of Us" are almost like reflections on the day before. Whereas something like "Daddy's Speeding," that pretty much came to me in a dream. I had a dream that I was sent back in time to save James Dean from the car crash. We ended up getting loaded together and I didn't bother. I could have saved him.

"Still Life" came from living in that kind of place, being surrounded by housewives and incredibly bored people. It's one of the strange things that people think our lifestyle is always quite frenetic but it's actually pretty much like a housewife's a lot of the time. You know, 23 hours a day it's pure boredom. And I was trying to write a song that was about me and about them. I pottered down to the shops in the middle of the day and would see these incredibly bored people actually become almost completely disconnected from life.

Kind of like fading alcoholic housewives. And "We Are The Pigs" is probably about the division between those people and fucking two minutes down the road, people living in Archways and the way there's no connection between the two.

ATN: I want to get your opinion on some of the other English bands. What do you think of Oasis?

Anderson: I think they're all right. Yeah. I don't know their music very well but I think they're quite exciting, which is good for a English band. I think they sound pretty natural.

ATN: You've heard "Live Forever"?

Anderson: Yeah, I think it's all right. A lot of the bands that people always ask me about I'm not particularly interested in.

ATN: What do you listen to?

Anderson: I like Beatles and the Stones. I like a lot of modern stuff, dance music, soul, rap. I like people who can actually sing. That turns me on. I like Prince. I like a lot of rappers because they've got kind of a hypnotic quality to them. There's too many people who are kind of singing essay writers. I'm quite turned on by people who have the power in their voice, whether I agree with what they say or not. Perhaps Jim Morrison or Nick Cave, who have a bit of authority, who have a bit of power to them. It doesn't matter what they say, it's the way they say it that's quite important to me.

ATN: Any particular rappers.

Anderson: Oh, Snoop Doggy Dogg.

ATN: Yeah, he's great.

Anderson: The thing is I don't agree with anything he says but you have to listen to him. I like Kris Kross as well. And people like Coolio. And who does that "Regulate"?

ATN: Warren G.

Anderson: I like a really smooth sound, I like people who can really sing, you know? That's almost disappeared. A lot of modern singing, a lot of rock singing and soul singing, it's all technique, all showing off. It's wailing and howling and hitting the high notes. I like people who can whisper in your ear instead of shouting at you.

ATN: Initially there was a lot of talk about Suede in terms of sort of reviving the glam thing and the Bowie thing? What did you think about that?

Anderson: I never, never understood it. I have no idea what was going on. I've always hated glam rock. I thought it was appalling. I'm not really interested in fake music and it was very fake music. I was a bit horrified by it all.

ATN: Did the Bowie references make sense?

Anderson: Oh yeah. I'm a massive fan. It frustrates me when people go over the top about it, but I think he's great.

ATN: What music influenced you when you were young?

Anderson: I suppose the punk stuff. If we're talking about what turned me on to music, what made me pick up a guitar. It was kind of like Crass and people like that. I like Sex Pistols and stuff, but I come a bit late to it.

"Anyone who is shocked by two women kissing in 1995 is a fucking half-wit," says Anderson.

ATN: And who else?

Anderson: A lot of tough punk. Real annoying your parents music, mixed with that, stuff my sister listened to: Beatles and Stones and Bob Dylan and Pink Floyd. And then after that, I suppose when I was old enough to buy records, it was the music of the day: The Jam and the Specials and Japan and people like that, just stuff you heard on the radio, basically. My musical education is not a list of cool, cult artists I spent years trudging around record shops to find. It's stuff you hear on the radio when you're having a tea on a Sunday night. That's where my love of music comes from, big pop music.

ATN: When things first broke for Suede, how old were you?

Anderson: About 23.

ATN: How did you handle it?

Anderson: It was easy, it wasn't that much of a problem. It really isn't. You can imagine what it's like being incredibly famous. [laughs] You can! It's like any other life, but you get recognized more often. You just have to wash your hair a bit more often, you can't buy as much pornography.

ATN: Look at the Kurt Cobain situation.

Anderson: That's a very different thing. He was a lot more famous than I was, and to his credit, one of the things that really saddens me about that is he spent a lot of time saying he was deeply unhappy with success. And everyone thought it was an image. That's one of the things that's sad about fakes in music. They actually ruin it for anyone who is telling the truth. Because if it wasn't for the fact that here's generations of people who have thought it's cool to be tortured, perhaps people would have taken him a bit more seriously when he said he hated himself and that he hated what he was doing. I look at like Sinead O'Connor now. I read something she said and I feel horrified for her, really sorry for her, because she's saying that she can't handle it and she's having a terrible time. And everyone thinks it's a joke, everyone thinks it's her image. And that really saddens me and that's why I've always tried to be blatantly honest in interviews.

ATN: Why did you call this album Dog Man Star?

Anderson: Its just three of my favorite words, really. It's just something that a lot of the songs are about. Almost like the three stages of man, the three things you can be. I feel very dog-like at the moment.

ATN: Sort of like the animal state to whatever state we are in at the moment to a spiritually enlightened state?

Anderson: Perhaps not a spiritually enlightened state, but I've always been attracted to people who actually think of themselves as stars, people who actually treat life like a film or a book. I don't mean in the sense of people who are actually in the public eye. There's a lot of people who have sold 60 million records who you see 50 times a day who don't have the faintest star quality to them, and then there's a lot of people working gas stations, they just have that aura around them? They just make things happen out of everyday life.

ATN: In the first song on the album, you make reference to Winterland, you make reference to introducing the band, which I took you to be talking about the Band, you know, Robbie Robertson's The Band.

Anderson: [Laughs] No.

ATN: That's where they played when they played their first performance.

Anderson: I was thinking the Sex Pistols' final gig.

ATN: But that's pretty wild. I was at that show at Winterland, actually.

Anderson: You're kidding.

ATN: It was probably the greatest show that I ever saw.

Anderson: I was watching it just recently. I've got bits of it on video. It's something I've seen about a million times. That bit at the end. [Starts to deliver lyrics in a monotonal Johnny Rotten voice] "This is no fun/ No fun/ At all."

ATN: People were throwing money and all kinds of stuff onto the stage. Rotten was just picking the stuff up. And the audience was just the most bizarre audience. It was a mixture of people that were totally into the band and people who had come to see the freak show.

Anderson: Yeah totally. I've always been fascinated by them and by that gig and just the way they managed to compress everything into a year. Or in the case of that show, anything you could ever ask for a gig in three-quarters of an hour. I just love the idea of a final moment. Of a band just being in the present.

ATN: The thing was, though, when you were there, the music sounded so great and so powerful. Some people tended to say, oh, the Sex Pistols couldn't play that good...

Anderson: Oh they fucking rule! We were listening to the album last night on the bus. If you listen to it now, it just sounds like the greatest rock album in the world.

ATN: Never Mind the Bollocks . . .

Anderson: Yeah. It's so completely almost like year zero it's ridiculous. It's like listening to Chuck Berry.

ATN: Exactly.

Anderson: Or the Rolling Stones. It's just a fucking absolutely great melodic rock album. All the things that people say about them are absolutely untrue. There's only one criteria for musicianship, as far as I'm concerned, and that's whether you can get across what you're saying with your instrument and with your voice. I'm not interested in any kind of technique or anything like that. To me, a great musician is someone that you understand what they feel when they pick up a guitar and there's people who can do that with three chords and there's people who can play entire symphonies and have never moved a human soul.

ATN: All these guitar players who can play scales up the wazzoo, but so what?

Anderson: The real problem is, you've got someone like Sex Pistols, they come along and people mistake it. People think that the way they played was what was important, people actually think that if they can replicate the sound as raw or amateurish as that, that they'll somehow be as great as them. And it has nothing to do with that, it has nothing to do with the level of musicianship. It has to do with the fact that they actually send an electric shock through you. And there's people who do that with incredibly complicated music and there's people who do that with incredibly simple music.

ATN: How old were you when you were exposed to "God Save the Queen" and "Anarchy . . . ?"

Anderson: That's the strange thing. I was just really too young. It was '76 when that happened, which is 20 years ago now. I was about 9 or 10, so I wasn't a punk. I couldn't get to any punk gigs or anything. So we just got these ripples in the suburbs, this incredibly frustrating feeling 'cause you knew you were getting everything like second or third hand and you knew you were missing out. Luckily they were one of the few bands where the records were so fucking powerful that it didn't make any difference, you could actually plug into it. Half of my life I've kind of lived the pop dream, wanting to be in a band, and it comes from that, it comes from being cut off from it and just having these little bits of vinyl which were my only connection to it. It's not like nowadays where any kind of fucking two-bit thing makes it, you see it everywhere. It was in the news. I can remember for a few weeks where that was the news. You know what I mean, the Sex Pistols.

ATN: Was it the Sex Pistols or what was it that actually made you make the decision, OK, I want to do this?

Anderson: It's one of those things that's always seemed completely natural to me. It's almost the other way around. I can remember the first time I met someone who didn't want to be in a band. And I can remember thinking it was the most bizarre thing. I thought they were making it up. I just assumed that everyone wanted to be in a band and a lot of people settled for something else.

I guess that punk was really important just because the first time you pick up a guitar, you're not going to be able to play "Brown Sugar," but you are going to be able to play stuff like "Bodies" and "Submission." I used to be in a punk band called The Pigs. We played these kind of like bastardized Sex Pistols and Fall songs about the countryside. I mean they actually connected you to music.

One of the big problems of coming from the kind of place I come from is there's no history, there's no music, you can't imagine yourself as a pop star. You couldn't say, "I want to be in a band." There weren't any bands. There wasn't a local scene or anything. The nearest big town is Brighton and that's never produced anything. One of the things about the Smiths I loved when I was growing up was just the kind of obvious ordinariness of them and the fact that they were making beautiful, important music and they were just obviously kind of like the square kid in the back of the class.

ATN: Haywards Heath is where you grew up, right?

Anderson: Yes.

ATN: But that's 40 miles from London. That doesn't seem that far to me, but it sounds like it felt like it was a million miles away from anything cool.

Anderson: Oh yeah, completely. It's near enough, I used to go up to London when I was 15, 16, but kind of as a complete tourist. I used to wander around the streets with my mouth open. I didn't get to do anything. I just went to wander around and soak it all in. I think that's quite important to be cut off from it, because you keep your romantic view of it intact.

ATN: You romanticize it.

Anderson: People actually from London, they're a bunch of fucking, cynical old farts, they really are. They've all seen it all before, they've all been backstage. They've already seen the downside of it and we never really had that. We still kind of actually believed in the band. And I think a lot of big city people just don't. They don't believe in the power of music.

ATN: About how old were you when you had The Pigs?

Anderson: The Pigs. I guess I must have been about 15.

ATN: Was that your first band?

Anderson: I've had hundreds. Bedroom bands. I was in a band called Suave and the Elegant. They did kind of Beatles covers. None of us could play. Just farting around. And then, when I met Mat [Osman], it was the same thing, we couldn't play. We had a drum machine in the bedroom and we'd do these dreadful fucking songs.

ATN: How come you parted ways with guitarist/songwriter Bernard Butler?

Anderson: He just didn't really enjoy being in the band anymore. There was just no point having anyone in the band who doesn't think it's the greatest thing on earth, you know what I mean?

ATN: So basically he got bored with it or frustrated with it?

Anderson: I think he wanted to do everything himself. He's very musical and he just wanted to sit and play guitar and write songs. And if you want to be in a big band, you actually have to work at it. You have to be singer and musician and businessman and politician and interviewee and all these things at the same time.

ATN: Do you worry at all that not having his musical input is going to affect things like coming up with material?

Anderson: Not in the slightest. We're working a lot faster that we ever have done.

ATN: And you like the material as much?

Anderson: Yeah, certainly. I'm really excited about it. The thing is, I'm writing stuff on my own and I'm writing stuff with [new guitarist] Richard Oakes and I'm writing stuff with the band. Richard is vomiting stuff out.

ATN: What makes you mad?

Anderson: I guess absolute waste. Just the realms of crappy fucking records. Piles of dogshit. You could get rid of 95% of the records that were ever released and no one would be any the worse off. I'd like to see MTV close down for an hour and go, I'm sorry there's nothing good to put on. Or a music magazine saying, we're not coming next week because nothing happened.

ATN: It seems like there's always been this classic tension between the creative side­­someone trying to make great rock & roll­­and the record company's side, where it's a business trying to make money. And it's like they don't care whether it's the Sex Pistols or whether it's Journey.

Anderson: At the same time, it's very easy to just be purely musical and just sit at home all day and make beautiful records that no one hears. I can't get away from the fact that if we make a record now, because of record companies, 90% of the world's population can get a hold of it in a week and that's a fucking fantastic thing. That's technology being used in an incredible way. You can't knock it. If you're going to make a record to communicate to people, then you should make sure people fucking hear it. I think that's really important. I don't want to just sit home and say, we just write music for ourselves and if anyone else likes it, it's a bonus.

ATN: One of the reasons that there's so many crappy records is because the record companies don't know. They're trying to find something...

Anderson: They're doing a job. I'm very aware of that. Every single person you meet in the entire fucking rock-and-roll industry is doing their job and they're looking out for number one. It is a fucking industry and you've just to be completely aware of that. That's why you have to be quite a tight unit as a band because it's the four of you against the rest of the world. However much there's people around us who have our best interests at heart, at the end of the day we're the band and we know what's best. We have pretty much absolute control over Suede. We have more control than pretty much any band out there today.

ATN: Do you make the business decisions?

Anderson: Yeah. Everything follows from the records. Basically, when it comes to selling, we leave the record company to it. That's what they're there for. They're the salesmen. But we're one of the few bands where no one hears our record until we've finished it. And then we come out with a finished record, finished artwork. And we hand it over, we say these are going to be the singles, and we let them to the bits that I have no fucking interest in. Like marketing it.

ATN: When you handed a record over to them, have they ever come back to you and said, "Oh, we think you should do this or we think you should get that song remixed?"

Anderson: [laughs] They wouldn't fucking dare. I mean we listen to them. Every now and then the American record company will say, "I think this would make a great single in America." And we have listened to them in the past. But pretty much anything we actually care about, we do ourselves. No, no one's ever suggested that to us. No one's ever suggested remixing or anything like that. I think they know that it would be a terrible, terrible mistake.

ATN: You've toured America now, this is the third time?

Anderson: Yeah.

ATN: What do you think about this place, given that you've been here enough times that you have some sense of it?

Anderson: I love the place. I do love the place. There's a real openness to it that you don't get in lot in other countries.

ATN: What are some of the specific things that you like?

Anderson: I've had some of the best nights of my life kind of lost in strange American cities. Just being swept along. People are completely receptive to, I don't know, letting loose. Getting loaded and getting loose. Just because there's a kind of dumbness to the place. There is! Which I really like. Let's just see what happens, that kind of thing. England can be a very claustrophobic place, especially if you're vaguely well-known and I don't get that in America at all. I find the opportunities for getting yourself in trouble are vast here.

ATN: Can you be more specific?

Anderson: Not without perjuring myself at a later date. [laughs] I like the people here. I like the fact that people will actually try anything. And I like the way it's very fast moving. It really suits a band on tour. In Britain and Europe it takes kind of six months to get to know people so there's no point in meeting people. Whereas in America you meet people and they're like, "Hi, I'm Cindy, I was abused as a child and I'm a Gemini." And you're off, you know what I mean?

ATN: What's your goal for Suede?

Anderson: Just to make a string of absolutely great records. That was my goal for Suede when I was 12 years old. Doesn't change. One of the only things that doesn't change. To make just an absolute realm of fantastic records that people love.

ATN: Do you have aspirations of having the biggest band in the world?

Anderson: No. I want to be the best band in the world.

ATN: How did you come up with the name?

Anderson: It's just a beautiful, sensual word. It sounds really nice and looks really good. It's a sensual thing rather than intellectual. I've probably gone on many times about how Suede is the animal skin around a human body. But that all came later, when I was getting fucking [laughs] pretentious in interviews. It was just a sensuous, sensual word.

ATN: How did you feel about having to be the London Suede?

Anderson: It stank. I think it's shit.

ATN: What do you think of some of the American bands that have made it in recent years ranging from Pearl Jam to more recently, the Offspring and Green Day?

Anderson: I don't get it. I wish I did. I wish I could at least have understood it but didn't like it. But I just don't get it at all. I'm completely amused by it.

ATN: Are there any American bands that you do like?

Anderson: I like that Sheryl Crow record a lot. I like Perry Farrell, I think he's pretty cool. I like R.E.M.

ATN: You do?

Anderson: Yeah, I do like R.E.M. a lot.

ATN: What do you think of Monster?

Anderson: I think they got away with fucking murder.

ATN: Oh really?

Anderson: I understand it, though. I really understand it. It would be really easy to make another record like the last one and it's quite brave to make a record that you know is going to sell less. I don't think it's a particularly great album at all. I'd love to have been in the business long enough where people actually give you the benefit of the doubt whereas we're in the situation where people always assume the worst. We're always fighting for people to like our records. Whereas I think there are a few fucking statesmen in the world, like Paul fucking Weller in Britain, just because he's been around so long, if he makes a quarter of the way decent record, it's kind of like the second coming. Back to R.E.M., I just like the way they can be that big and that simple. I can't think of another band who've got that big and have actually used it to get simpler and more direct instead of turning into something enormous.

ATN: Speaking of the second coming, do you have anything to say about the Stone Roses' return after so many years of fucking 'round or whatever they were doing?

Anderson: Musically, it's great. They're probably some of the best musicians in Britain and they can actually fucking play. But one of the reasons I really liked the first album is I thought they actually had some songs. And I don't think they have on this one. But that's my personal taste. I like songs. And I don't think this is a very songy album.

ATN: How do drugs affect what you do?

Anderson: Apart from making me get up late for interviews, not very much. It's just something I do. It's not kind of a building brick in Suede, it's something I do personally.

ATN: Do you find it creatively stimulating?

Anderson: Very, very rarely. Not normally. When I wrote this album, I wasn't even drinking. I just locked myself in a white room for 14 hours a day. Pepped myself up with ginseng. Very occasionally I feel inspired by drugs, but not very often. And when we play live, it's funny, when we play live, none of us even have a beer before we go on. We played before 70,000 last year at a festival and we were the only people straight there.

ATN: So is it more a way of getting outside of yourself?

Anderson: I do it for exactly the same reasons that everyone else does. It's a good laugh. It makes me feel in different ways but that's no different from the reasons why millions of people who take drugs. I'd like to say it's some kind of creative elixir but to be honest, most drugs are incredibly uncreative. Cocaine is the least creative drug I can think of. Dope is fucking pointless. It's not a musical thing at all.

ATN: What's your drug of choice?

Anderson: What's the drug of choice? [laughs] I'll take anything, man. I don't really like slow drugs. I don't like drugs that slow you down. I don't like downers. I don't like anything that makes you fucking buzz off to a dream world. I like things that heighten....

ATN: In other words you don't like heroin.

Anderson: No, not particularly. I'm not really interested in dream drugs. I like things that light up your life, pep you up. Ginseng is my drug of choice. And Guinness. [laughs] Any drug that begins with "g," basically.

ATN: At certain points, do you sit back and say, this is amazing that I've been able to achieve what we have achieved?

Anderson: Regularly. Regularly I look in the mirror and say, I'm the luckiest man alive. Yeah, it hasn't lost its wonder for me at all. You can get worn away sometimes, but there's always the moment when you listen back to a track or the moment you play a great gig where you feel like Superman, actually feel like 500 feet tall.

ATN: In terms of the state of rock & roll right now, what's going on from your point of view?

Anderson: I think it's quite inspiring. I think it's quite inspiring in Britain and I think Americans seem quite inspired about the whole thing. I think Britain's producing some halfway decent records for once and I think people are actually astounded that Britain has risen and is beginning to get off its fucking ass. I think the American scene has totally been shook up by cheap bands and the fact that record companies are running around like headless chickens because money doesn't equal success anymore. I think that's great.

What I don't like at the moment is the kind of cult, alternative elements of it, the way everyone is playing to these tiny little demographic audiences and there's no kind of connection across any kind of cultures or even across a fucking big lake like the Atlantic.

ATN: When Elvis Presley died, Lester Banks wrote about Elvis and he said that Elvis was the last rock star that connected everybody.

Anderson: The really big problem is every band in the entire world is living in the shadows of the Beatles and there ain't going to be no more Beatles unfortunately because everyone knows too much and everyone has more access. So people can have music that completely fits them, and you end up with these bizarre musical sub-cultures that are just aimed at one percent of the population. And you never can have another Beatles and I find that incredibly sad. Because that is the blueprint, I think, for every band, for every decent band, to try and make records that turn the whole world on, records that anyone can connect with.

ATN: You really believe in the positive effect that a great rock-and-roll record can have on people.

Anderson: Certainly. Even if it's the most stupid record and it does nothing more for you than brighten up your day for four minutes when it comes on the car radio, it's still more powerful than the other art forms.

ATN: At its best, what do you think it can do?

Anderson: At its absolute best, I think it can totally empower people and totally make people feel like they're wearing a suit of armor and strengthen people and make people feel above the shit of the world. Even at its worst, it can be fucking great. I think a dumb-assed pop song, the dumbest of the dumb-assed pop song is probably more important than any fucking painting done since the war or any sculpture or anything like that.

ATN: Why do you feel that way?

Anderson: It affects people in a way that those things don't. It affects people in a totally natural, physical, emotional way. Not in an intellectual way. It's democratic. It's the only fucking democratic art form left. You can get it anywhere. One of the great things about music is it does belong to everyone and that great songs just come to live in the air. That's why I like the radio so much. That was my first introduction to music. Every now and then I turn it on and think, what a fantastic thing it is. Just that you can have these things all the time. You don't have to go to a fucking gallery, you don't have to pay anything. There just isn't any equivalent for any other art form and it's fucking cheap, music. It must be said. You can get yourself an original Suede for what, about $15?

ATN: Now, it seems like, in terms of a CD, it lasts for quite a long time.

Anderson: Oh, that's a typical fucking American attitude. They always want to know how long it lasts. It is. It's the only place I've ever been in the world where they come first and ask you at a gig, how long are you going to play? Who gives you a shit, you know what I mean?

ATN: I know what you mean. Like a shitty band could play for 3 hours, who cares and like 10 minutes of greatness....

Anderson: I saw The Jesus and Mary Chain when they played for 20 minutes and they were fucking incredible!

ATN: The first time they came to America they played at a little club called the I-Beam in San Francisco and it was amazing.

Anderson: I can just imagine in America someone going, "That was incredible, why don't you play longer?" People always want a fucking encore.

[jackredfieldwasmyjacob]

TOP 3 GALA 12

Here’s last week’s top 3 :)

So, that was a ride. We finally know the 5 finalists of OT 2020: Nia, Hugo, Eva, Anaju and Flavio. Yes, you read that correct. Maialen wasn’t a finalist. How? I don’t even fucking know. Anaju was the chosen one of the jury, which was amazing, and the audience voted Flavio. I love him and I’m really happy that he’s a finalist, he deserves it, but... the fact that Maialen, who for me should have been in the top 3 during the final... isn’t even gonna be there... it hurts me so much. Like, even though Anaju is my favourite out of the contestants that remain, y would prefer Mai and Flavio in the final than this. Mai had to be there. Anyways, with this final, for the first time in 3 editions, there is more than 1 guy and also no contestant from Pamplona. There’s one from Galicia though, so that’s that. 

So, on with the songs. There’s a problem, cause this week there were a TON of them, cause the finalists had a song with an invited artist, then the semi-finalists a solo song, and then 2 duets and a trio between the contestants. And they were all sooo good, it hurts me so much not talking about all of them; so I’m gonna list the ones I won’t be addressing here with links to the performances, cause you oughta listen to them, there wasn’t a bad performance this gala: Lay All Your Love On Me (OT 2020), Something’s Got A Hold On Me (Samantha), R.I.P. (Nia, Samantha, Anaju), Hoy Tengo Ganas De Ti (Nia, Blas Cantó).

Finally, I have to comment on the end of the opening number. They kneeled in solidarity for the Black Lives Matter movement, with Nia in the middle. Remember, this is broadcasted in National and public television, in Prime Time, and in a program viewed by mostly young people. This is huge. Here is a Tweet they posted with just the end of the song and the kneeling.

Let’s start with the songs, I’ll try to be brief!

Vi (Flavio): What a fucking bop, honestly. All of the songs they performed this week were bops tbh. Anyways, Flavio played live! And I loved the scenography with everyone around him, he had a really bad week and he said having everyone around made him more secure and calmed. Though, for me this wasn’t his best performance; I preferred the one he did in the groupal class [starts in 44:30] with Iván, the acting teacher (remember when I talked about it a few weeks ago? They repeated that mechanic).

Si Te Vas (Maialen): Maialen is such an amazing human being, and we don’t deserve her. She had to be a finalist, but let’s leave that apart. She was beautiful in this performance of one of the best Spanish ballads ever, from the most famous metal band in Spain, Extremoduro, a song I love and that she’s made me love it even more. Also, Bruno at the drums!!! Look how happy he looks!!!

Me Vale (Hugo, Miki Núñez): It’s sooo good seeing Miki back in OT, and performing one of his songs! He has such a unique energy and showman presence, it’s amazing (he was robbed at Eurovision, I’ll never forgive you Europe). Also, Hugo fits really well with this type of songs, and he’s at the same energy level as Miki. Finally, can we talk about the end, with Hugo trying to make the judges dance and failing miserably? Amazing.

Hey Baby (Flavio, Eva): Copenhague wishes it was Hey Baby. The evolution between this performance and that one, it’s amazing. Flavio looks so happy and natural, and the expressions Eva always make fit so well here. They were amazing.

3. ADIÓS PAPÁ - MAIALEN AND HUGO

Here is the original song, by Los Ronaldos :)

This song is an 80s classic, it’s so fucking good (a prime example of the Movida, a rock movement that started in Madrid in the 80s, here you’ll find more info about it) Also, punk Maialen is my favorite Maialen, and I’m so pumped she’s signed with Extremoduro and Marea’s discographic, cause this means more punk Maialen in the future!!! Also, Hugo was born for songs like this, not only he looks like a punk, but has the attitude of one. They blend perfect for this song.

2. EL MOMENTO - EVA AND LA CASA AZUL

Here is the original song, by La Casa Azul :)

If Rozalén is the artist I most associate with my mother and in general with the mother side of my family, La Casa Azul (”The Blue House”) is the group I most associate with my father (and both of them performed in this gala, Rozalén was one of the guest artists!). I remember, the year he drove my sister and I to school, him playing “La Revolución Sexual”, their best album every day, and we all singing along to the songs. I just love them, and the singer, Guille Milkyway, is so amazing. And they could’ve gone to Eurovision in 2008 with their best song ever, “La Revolución Sexual” (they sung it in OT 2017!), this was the performance in the preselection (and we sent...Chikilicuatre...I’m-) WE COULD’VE WON. Anyways, apart from that, Eva, you were amazing sweetie, with the amount of energy the song required and really synched with Guille.

1. NANA DEL MEDITERRÁNEO - ANAJU

Here is the original song, by María José Llergo :)

Wow. Like, wow. Last night Anaju made one of the best performances of the editions, and finally demonstrated why she deserves so much being a finalist. And, just like Maialen herself said, I believe Anaju has found her style, this types of songs, like this one and Catalina, more lyrical, are made for her, I would love to see her in this style. Also, we have to talk about the song itself. The title translates to “Lullaby of the Mediterranean”, and talks about the Refugee Crisis in Europe. It’s so powerful; I’ll leave below all the translated lyrics. Oh, and, even though she was phenomenal in the gala, I preferred her rendition of the song in the groupal class with Iván [starts in 51:50].

So, here are the lyrics:

White foam that cleans the sea

 You made him a crib out of water and salt 

The stars in the sky

Comb his hair with nacre

 Sleep, my kid, don’t you cry no more

Serene waters, serene waters

Are rocking you now

 Ea

 La ea 

La ea

 The skies weep, the sea howls 

Dreams die in overseas 

 Waves seal his tomb

Europe losts its nails 

Sleep, my kid, don’t you cry no more

Serene waters, serene waters

Are rocking you now

 Ea 

La ea 

La ea 

Ea 

La ea

 Ea 

La ea