#everyone or at least the majority was close to someone else

[khyann]

im gonna sound a bit too negative with this but... does anyone in s2 have a meaningful relationship with other players anymore?

it just feels like everyone is secluded from everyone else and like (in character) no one trully knows anybody else

[puppyeared]

Atla live action 😐

[yeonban]

Tobias' "grand goal" is to become so entrenched in every aspect of society that it'll be impossible for anything of significance to happen without it going through him first or without him hearing about it before it happens. The reason he manages to kill 2mil by 21 is because over the years he steadily places his people into every mafia known to man (even took over some of them after killing their leaders), sends his men into politics, various armies and there's even a few among the relevant Presidents' bodyguards; and then mingles with the people already in those respective fields. That's how he finds out what everyone with power is thinking about doing & who's going behind his back, as well as how he's able to make them divert from their plans or stop them during, via the men he has in whichever organization is causing trouble. It's much easier to destroy an org from the inside out, and there have been many instances in which he managed to not only blow up their ranks (<-literally.) but also steal their wealth before moving onto the next target. Not even his close allies (<-IF they are large organizations) are spared from this internal spying; if anything, he'd prioritize spying on them rather than on his enemies because he's well aware how much harder a betrayal could hit in comparison to an external attack, so he's always preparing for it just in case.

[toastsnaffler]

SUDDENLY STARTED RAINING SO HARD WE ARE SO FUCKING BACK

[mangosrar]

call it closure

chris sturniolo x fem reader.

long asf. smut. filth. sexy chris 😛😛😛

your relationship with chris had always been complicated, a will they wont they sort of thing. you both loved eachother, that was obvious, yes you were his, but he wasnt yours.

you both decided friends with benefits would be the best option. well for him. part of you agreed just so you could play pretend, trick yourself into thinking you had him, and you knew nothing lasted forever, but he fooled you for a while.

everyone knew chris had major commitment issues, but you just didnt understand. he treated you like the only girl ever behind closed doors, but the second anyone else was around, he would drop your hand.

you thought this would be fine, you had him, you had him to yourself and that was all that mattered. until you realised you didnt. he had you eating out the palm of his hand on complete puppet strings. he said jump and you asked how high. you had fallen down a dangerous rabbit hole, and the only way to escape was to drive a knife straight through the heart of whatever it was you and chris had.

flashback.

the house was the quietest youve ever heard it. matt and nick were out so chris had invited you over to smoke with him but you were pretty sure he had over done it because he had gone completely none verbal and just started staring at the wall. he was slouched down on the couch with his feet up on the coffee table and his hands in his lap. you were too, slouched down on the couch with your knees up. he took a deep breath in before breaking the silence.

"do you think were soulmates in every universe?" he said. not moving his eyes from the spot on the wall. you could have cried right there and then, feeling a deep aching pain bloom in your chest from his words. you hated how he was so absentmindedly killing you.

there was an abundant pause and a thick tension gathered in the air, you wondered if chris could feel it too.

"are we even soulmates in this one?" your voice was so quiet and soft you weren’t sure he even heard you, until he let out a frustrated sigh before bringing a hand up to his face and pinching the bridge of his nose.

"come on y/n dont start this shit now" his voice was harsh. he kept his eyes closed waiting for you to drop it, like you did every time, but you werent sure how much longer you could carry on like this.

"what chris? im being serious, i dont even know what this is anymore, you treat me like im everything one minute and then act like you couldnt care less is i fucking live or die the next!" you let your feet fall and land on the floor as you sat up and turned to face him.

"you know thats not true" he took his hand off of his face and let it rest in the air. his eyes still closed.

"do i?" your voice was quiet and broken. this was draining. the heavy presence of the fact he wasnt truly yours was sucking the life out of you. he opened his eyes and looked at you.

"we both agreed to do this y/n you cant put all of this on me" he sat up and rested his elbows on his knees, clasping his hands together and staring at you intensely.

there was a pregnant pause, he was waiting for you to defend yourself, or at least try to argue his point, but you couldnt, he was right, to a certain degree. yes you had both agreed to friends with benefits but you hadnt agreed to being hopelessly in love with someone who only reciprocated those feelings in the dark.

you dropped yours eyes, tearing them away from his and letting them linger on his hands before taking a deep breath in.

"i cant carry on like this, its killing me." he tried to cut you off momentarily but you held a hand up, stopping him. "i wont beg for you to love me anymore chris, because i know that somewhere deep down you really do". he said nothing as he stared at you. he was completely speechless. he felt that pain, just like you did, deep in his bones. you searched his eyes for something, anything, a sign that you were lying and just embarrassing yourself, a sign that told you he wasnt at all affected by this, any sense of doubt. you found nothing.

and with that, you left. you got up and walked out of that house, leaving chris to sit there and regret every singe life decision that had got him to this point, but he didnt come after you, he didnt try to stop you, he didnt try to change your mind and thats what stung the most.

end of flashback.

"im going to pack the car so everyone bring your bags down!" chris shouted from the bottom of the stairs.

you pulled the zipper closed on the bag before taking your phone off the bed and making your way downstairs, nick following close behind you. you didnt even look up at chris. you couldnt, you wanted to take complete advantage of the short amount of time you had left to distance yourself from him as much as possible.

it had been about 3 months since you walked out on chris, you hadnt spoke at all, he hadnt tried and neither had you, both of you just accepting fate and trying to move on, but considering the fact his two brothers were your best friends and you practically lived at their house with how much you were over, it was proving to be quite the challenge.

you just politely dropped your bag at his feet and scurried off into the kitchen, bumping into matt.

"you want me to drive the first or second half?" you asked. considering you were the only two that could drive, you insisted you would split it.

"i dont mind but, you sure you wanna have to sit next to chris for that long?" he lowered his voice slightly, his eyes darting to chris who was grabbing all the bags behind you, as his face scrunched up slightly. you glanced over your shoulder at him briefly before crossing your arms over your chest and shrugging.

"its okay, he wont talk to me anyways" you let out a pathetic laugh through your nose, trying to make the situation a little light hearted and a lot less embarrassing. matt obviously picked up on this but was kind enough to ignore it.

"ill do the first half, he will probably fall asleep by the time we swap anyway" he patted your shoulder and you nodded as he made a bee line for the front door.

matt and nick were probably the worst part of this whole situation. they were stuck smack bang in the middle of this pandemonium. of course they both knew what had happened but they gave you the courtesy of separating you and chris with you and them and decided to move past it. you and chris were both aware of how awkward it was for them, and thankfully, he was mature enough to not kick up a big fuss every time you were around. you hadnt spoken at all since that night, only the odd flash of a smile sent each others way when you crossed paths and that was rare, so when nick invited you on their weekend get away to a cabin in the middle of no where with them, you were obviously delighted.

the drive was excruciating. if it wasnt matt and nick arguing it was chriss shitty trap music playing or the gps redirecting you. while you were driving up front chris hadnt even spared you a glance, he didnt utter a single word to you the whole time.

part of you was grateful but another part of you wished he would have, selfishly, so you could just get over it and enjoy your weekend, but nothing was enjoyable anymore as long as chris was around.

"i call the double bed" chris yelled, running through the house.

"y/n theres a room with two singles, wanna bunk with me?" nick asked, slipping his backpack off of his shoulders.

"sure" you nodded, before making your way to the room, setting your bag down and plopping on the bed with a huff, matt trailed in behind you, with your suitcase.

"come on grouchy pants, were gonna have funnnn" he said swatting your leg that was dangling off the edge of the bed.

"i need at least 3-5 business days to recover from being within a 1 mile radius of chris for longer than 30 seconds" you let out a breath as you looked over to matt who was leaning on the door frame with his arms folded over his chest.

"that bad?" he raised his eyebrows in question.

"that bad" you replied flatley. matt just chuckled and motioned for you to follow him downstairs. you huffed and sat up before stomping down the hall after him.

in all fairness, it hadnt been that bad. the 4 of you had eaten, laughed played games and just had fun, regardless of the hanging tension wedged between you and chris. it was now 11:30 and everyone was asleep, but your mind just couldnt switch off, tossing and turning, checking the clock every 5 minutes. you huffed and looked over at nick who was out like a light. hot tub it is.

"i dont know madi, it just hurts" you spoke.

"has he even tried to talk to you?" she spoke over the phone.

"not one single word, and the thing is i dont know if i wanna strangle him or just kiss his fucking face off" you huffed, readjusting your arms so they were resting on the edge of the hot tub with your phone in your hands, the rest of your body being engulfed by the warm blanket of water.

"im worried my advice is gonna get you in trouble" she laughed, making you blow out a huff of air through your nose.

"it doesnt matter, i cant bring myself to do either" you and madi spoke for a little while longer beofre you wrapped the call up, put your phone on the ground and let your body sink lower into the steaming water until it was resting on your collar bones.

you sighed and let your head fall back, this is what you needed, a relaxing moment, the quiet calm of the night lulling your brain into a state of tranquillity, no matt and nick arguing, no chr-

"cant sleep?" you almost had a heart attack, your body jolted forward as your eyes darted around searching for the body that owned the voice.

"jesus, chris you scared the life out of me, how long have you been sitting there?" your hand rested on your chest, feeling the rapid beat of your heart from being startled. he just stared at you with drooped eyes from his position on the patio chair, opposite the hot tub.

"long enough" he said. his face didnt show any sign of emotion. his stoic expression sending an un willing chill up your spine, despite the warmth of the chlorine filled bubbles around you. chris leaned forward and you swallowed thickly.

"did you mean what you said?" his voice was alot softer and quieter than before, like he was worried you would break at the slight tone of his voice. you couldnt bring your self to look back up at him, he would eat you alive. you paused momentarily, weighing out your options of whether you even wanted to entertain this conversation with him or just cut him dead.

there was no way in hell that you were letting yourself fall back down this slippery slope again, so just like before, you abruptly got up and out of the hot tub, reached for your towel and made your way back inside, without sparing him a glance, keeping your eyes trained to the floor, leaving chris once again, to watch you walk away from him, and all the same, he didnt try to stop you.

"nick open the fucking door!" you whispered loudly. no reply.

resting your forehead against the door, you mentally cursed yourself for even going in the hot tub. you should have stayed in bed and this whole situation would be avoided, chris too. speak of the devil and he shall appear.

"what are you doing?" he stood just beside you with a questioning look on his face.

you huffed, pulling your head back and looking up at him.

"nick locked the door" you sounded so defeated it made his heart beat a little harder in his chest.

"you can come sleep with me, ill take the floor i dont mind" he motioned his head towards his designated bedroom while keeping his eyes trained to yours.

you dropped your head and sighed. how was this happening. you had spent months walking on egg shells, doing everything in your power to stay as far away from him as you could, and now you were forcing him out of his bed so you could sleep there.

he stared at you waiting for your answer. he knew you had no other option, you couldnt sleep on the couch with matt and you were also stood in a wet bikini and a wet towel. be realistic y/n.

"sure, okay" you looked up at him, and his eyes gained a fraction of hope momentarily, before he nodded and started leading you to his room. this was going to be a long night.

"um, i dont.." you paused and cleared your throat. "i dont have anything to wear" chris looked up at you from his position on the bed before his eyes trailed over your body, stood in a towel in the bathroom doorway shifting on your feet, looking like a nervous little girl.

you cleared your throat again, snapping chris out of whatever trance he had gotten into. he stood up and walked over to the dresser at the end of the bed, pulling out one of his t-shirts and a pair of boxers, before padding over to you and handing them over.

"thanks" you smiled.

"no problem" he replied, watching you turn back into the bathroom, slamming the door in his face and leaning against it, you werent sure if this was going to work, your left control was wearing thin.

how had it ended up like this? you tried so hard to have some composure but you couldnt help it, he was shirtless, clad in grey sweatpants hanging dangerously low on his hips, basically inviting you to jump straight on him.

his lips trailed down your neck as his hands ran up your sides, relishing in the feeling of your skin against his after 3 months of complete torture without it.

he brought his lips back up to meet your in a hot and heavy kiss, tongues dancing together, teeth clashing, the works. frantic hands gripping his hair relentlessly, pulling groans from his mouth.

chris brought his hands to the hem of your shirt, pulling it over your head and separating the kiss, before diving back in and sucking purple marks into your neck and collarbones, earning breathy whines from you.

there was a moment of hesitation from you as he trailed his hands lower fiddling with the waistband of his boxers that you were wearing.

"chris wait" he halted his movements and brought his face up to yours. god he was making this so hard. he was breathing heavy and his hair was messy from your curious hands, his chain dangling between the two of you.

"we shouldnt be doing this" you shook your head, eyes wide.

"why y/n?" he asked breathlessly.

"because chris" you whined. he knew exactly why. all your hard work of keeping your distance from him had just been thrown into a sweltering ball of gasoline and chris had completely set it alight.

"call it closure" he whispered. he could see the inner turmoil you were facing. you knew you were about to give in, and judging by the smirk growing on his face, so did he.

you pulled his face down to yours again and he hummed into the kiss, the feeling of your lips on his being something no drug could ever amount to.

he continues his trail down your body, leaving wet hot kisses in his trail, keeping his eyes glued to yours. he was dragging this out, savouring the blaze of your touch.

"chris please" you whined.

"what baby? tell me what you want" he spoke in-between leaving kisses on your stomach and thighs.

"just fuck me" that was all he needed to hear before he was yanking your shorts down and doing the same with his own pants and boxers. he was on his knees between your legs, pumping his cock in his hand, eyes wondering over your frame hungrily.

"so pretty" he muttered before brining his lips to yours again and pushing his cock into you, giving you no time to adjust to his size before he was pulling all the way out and slamming back in over and over again. you were already a mess underneath him, mewling and moaning like you would never get the chance again.

"missed you so much baby, so fucking much" chris grunted in-between thrusts before peppering light kisses down the side of your face and neck. you just whined at his words.

his pace was relentless and your hands flew to his back, dragging your nails down his skin, pulling a low "fuck" from chriss lips.

"so good to me y/n, cant believe i ever fucking let you go" he said as he stilled his thrusts and pulled back, sitting on his knees and lifting your legs up to rest on his shoulders, and continuing his thrusts.

you let out a lewd moan at the new angle, hands gripping the bed sheets as chris arms wrapped around your thighs, drilling his cock into you so deep, hitting that spot inside that made you see stars.

"oh fuck chris dont stop" you mewled, letting your head fall back.

his pace became impossibly faster, every single thrust knocking the air out of your lungs.

you were pulsating around him, your high getting closer and closer. chris dropped your legs and doubled over, shoving his head into the crook of your neck with a deep groan.

"fuck y/n i can feel you squeezing me" his words were strangled and breathless. he brought his lips to yours once again but the pleasure was so good and you were so close you couldnt keep up with him, chris noticed this and smirked against your mouth.

"come on sweet girl, give it to me, come all over my cock" he said as he brought his thumb down to rub hard, fast circles over your puffy clit making your back arch even further off the bed.

you let out a strangled moan of his name before being launched into a pool of complete, white ecstasy, your eyes rolling to the back of your head. his thrusts did not falter as he sat up watching you ride out your orgasm with hooded eyes.

“you look so pretty like this ma”

he wasnt far behind, his hips stuttered before he let out a loud whine, followed by a hiss and a string of curses, painting your insides white, sending a few more thrusts, filling you to the brim, before collapsing on top of you.

the two of you were sweating and panting, both completely silent, just relishing in the feeling of the post sex haze. your hands come up to his hair and you ran your fingers through it soothingly.

he planted a soft kiss to your collarbone before bringing his face up so he was eye level with you. his eyes trailed over your face, creating a memory and he took a deep breath in before speaking.

"i do love you”.

_______________________________________________

YALL😛😛😛😛

sorry for starving you guys i’ve just been mad busy but i’m back !!!! love u. bee ❤️‍🩹

taglist: @christinarowie332 @biimpanicking @chrisenthusiast @urmyslxt @soursturniolo @kitaysworld @kvtie444 @mattslolita @flowerxbunnie @lovingsturniolo @its-jennarose @ermdontmindthisaccount @secret-sturniolo @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @justaslvttygirl @urfavstromboli @chrisfavoritepepsi @kenleighsbl0g @udonotknowme

[greenglowinspooks]

Alright, since it’s no longer 2 in the morning and my head’s a bit clearer, I present to you:

Liminal Riddler

So, not everyone in the DC fandom knows about this, and I’d bet that even less people in the Phandom do, but at one point, the Riddler had cancer. Had, past-tense, because he cured it. With the Lazarus pits.

And yeah, not everyone who gets dipped in the pits has to be liminal, but one would assume that the sudden replacement of a large number of malignant cells throughout the body is gonna do something.

The Riddler already acts quite a lot like a DP ghost in some interpretations anyways. He’s got a strict gimmick that he genuinely can’t part ways with, he’s campy and fun, he’s incredibly violent, etc.

Also, the way that he would react to this whole thing would be funny as hell.

Do I think the Riddler would really care if the GiW was after him? No. This is Gotham, the government is constantly going after him anyways.

Do I think he would care if Danny was being hunted down by the same people, and his parents were involved? Somewhat. He probably wouldn’t care about Danny specifically, at least not right away, but a young boy running terrified from his own parents would definitely bring back some bad memories, and he would probably give him a hand (if for no other reason than to get back to plotting crimes instead of dealing with childhood trauma).

Do I think the Riddler, whose entire thing is being smarter than everyone else, would care if the GiW somehow let slip that they thought he didn’t have human intelligence? That they believed him to be nothing but an echo of human life?

It’s not even a question. He would be the most insufferable person in Gotham within the hour. Genuinely nothing could stop him, especially not if Danny was helping jailbreak him from Arkham every time he got caught.

Almost every major road is closed. Every warehouse on the Docks is on fire. Somehow, they managed to color the clouds and smog a bright green.

The natives of Gotham would probably get those anti-ghost laws and acts overturned faster than the Justice League, if only to make the Riddler stop. His traps and games aren’t even lethal at this point (due to Danny’s insistence), but they’re so genuinely annoying that the general population is about to beat the GiW agents to death themselves just to get the Riddler to quit it already.

Also, I think that during this whirl of chaos, the Riddler would become quite fond of Danny.

He’s a bright young boy who’s very fond of wordplay, and inventive enough to keep up with him. Aside from the inevitable crisis of “oh god I’m becoming the bat,” he’d probably be happy to take on Danny as his protégé. Even if the boy won’t let him kill anyone (rude), he’s a terrifying getaway driver and can turn the both of them invisible and intangible, making Arkham escapes a breeze.

Hell, the Riddler would probably be willing to make a false identity for the two of them, just so he could get the boy proper schooling.

(Yes, he thinks that the entire education system is a sham and that he could do much better, but Danny wants to go into aerospace engineering, and the Riddler isn’t one to squander someone’s interest in learning.)

(Also, Echo and Query would find the whole thing hilarious)

[byoldervine]

Writing Tips - Beating Perfectionism

1. Recognising writing perfectionism. It’s not usually as literal as “This isn’t 100% perfect and so it is the worst thing ever”, in my experience it usually sneaks up more subtly. Things like where you should probably be continuing on but if you don’t figure out how to word this paragraph better it’s just going to bug you the whole time, or where you’re growing demotivated because you don’t know how to describe the scene 100% exactly as you can imagine it in your head, or things along those lines where your desire to be exact can get in the way of progression. In isolated scenarios this is natural, but if it’s regularly and notably impacting your progress then there’s a more pressing issue

2. Write now, edit later. Easier said than done, which always infuriated me until I worked out how it translates into practice; you need to recognise what the purpose of this stage of the writing process is and when editing will hinder you more than help you. Anything up to and including your first draft is purely done for structural and creative purposes, and trying to impose perfection on a creative process will naturally stifle said creativity. Creativity demands the freedom of imperfection

3. Perfection is stagnant. We all know that we have to give our characters flaws and challenges to overcome since, otherwise, there’s no room for growth or conflict or plot, and it ends up being boring and predictable at best - and it’s just the same as your writing. Say you wrote the absolute perfect book; the perfect plot, the perfect characters, the perfect arcs, the perfect ending, etc etc. It’s an overnight bestseller and you’re discussed as a literary great for all time. Everyone, even those outside of your target demographic, call it the perfect book. Not only would that first require you to turn the perfect book into something objective, which is impossible, but it would also mean that you would either never write again, because you can never do better than your perfect book, or you’ll always write the exact same thing in the exact same way to ensure constant perfection. It’s repetitive, it’s boring, and all in all it’s just fearful behaviour meant to protect you from criticism that you aren’t used to, rather than allowing yourself to get acclimated to less than purely positive feedback

4. Faulty comparisons. Comparing your writing to that of a published author’s is great from an analytical perspective, but it can easily just become a case of “Their work is so much better, mine sucks, I’ll never be as good as them or as good as any ‘real’ writer”. You need to remember that you’re comparing a completely finished draft, which likely underwent at least three major edits and could have even had upwards of ten, to wherever it is you’re at. A surprising number of people compare their *first* draft to a finished product, which is insanity when you think of it that way; it seems so obvious from this perspective why your first attempt isn’t as good as their tenth. You also end up comparing your ability to describe the images in your head to their ability to craft a new image in your head; I guarantee you that the image the author came up with isn’t the one their readers have, and they’re kicking themselves for not being able to get it exactly as they themselves imagine it. Only the author knows what image they’re working off of; the readers don’t, and they can imagine their own variation which is just as amazing

5. Up close and too personal. Expanding on the last point, just in general it’s harder to describe something in coherent words than it is to process it when someone else prompts you to do so. You end up frustrated and going over it a gazillion times, even to the point where words don’t even look like words anymore. You’ve got this perfect vision of how the whole story is supposed to go, and when you very understandably can’t flawlessly translate every single minute detail to your satisfaction, it’s demotivating. You’re emotionally attached to this perfect version that can’t ever be fully articulated through any other medium. But on the other hand, when consuming other media that you didn’t have a hand in creating, you’re viewing it with perfectly fresh eyes; you have no ‘perfect ideal’ of how everything is supposed to look and feel and be, so the images the final product conjures up become that idealised version - its no wonder why it always feels like every writer except you can pull off their visions when your writing is the only one you have such rigorous preconceived notions of

6. That’s entertainment. Of course writing can be stressful and draining and frustrating and all other sorts of nasty things, but if overall you can’t say that you ultimately enjoy it, you’re not writing for the right reasons. You’ll never take true pride in your work if it only brings you misery. Take a step back, figure out what you can do to make things more fun for you - or at least less like a chore - and work from there

7. Write for yourself. One of the things that most gets to me when writing is “If this was found and read by someone I know, how would that feel?”, which has lead me on multiple occasions to backtrack and try to be less cringe or less weird or less preachy or whatever else. It’s harder to share your work with people you know whose opinions you care about and whose impressions of you have the potential of shifting based on this - sharing it to strangers whose opinions ultimately don’t matter and who you’ll never have to interact with again is somehow a lot less scary because their judgements won’t stick. But allowing the imaginary opinions of others to dictate not even your finished project, but your unmoderated creative process in general? Nobody is going to see this without your say so; this is not the time to be fussing over how others may perceive your writing. The only opinion that matters at this stage is your own

8. Redirection. Instead of focusing on quality, focusing on quantity has helped me to improve my perfectionism issues; it doesn’t matter if I write twenty paragraphs of complete BS so long as I’ve written twenty paragraphs or something that may or may not be useful later. I can still let myself feel accomplished regardless of quality, and if I later have to throw out whole chapters, so be it

9. That’s a problem for future me. A lot of people have no idea how to edit, or what to look for when they do so, so having a clear idea of what you want to edit by the time the editing session comes around is gonna be a game-changer once you’re supposed to be editing. Save the clear work for when you’re allocating time for it and you’ll have a much easier and more focused start to the editing process. It’ll be more motivating than staring blankly at the intimidating word count, at least

10. The application of applications. If all else fails and you’re still going back to edit what you’ve just wrote in some struggle for the perfect writing, there are apps and websites that you can use that physically prevent you from editing your work until you’re done with it. If nothing else, maybe it can help train you away from major edits as you go

[angelanderson]

꒰ KINKTOBER POST 6 ꒱ ELLIE WILLIAMS

𐂯 knife kink ft dom!!ellie. r!receiving, sub!reader, light mean dom!ellie, no actual cutting. cannon universe. 18+ only. (lightly edited for rn+ long ) kinktober masterlist

if it’s ellie williams and her switchblade against the world, you’re betting on her. the knife seemingly never leaves her side. you’re almost positive you saw her clutch in her sleep last time you two had a days long patrol together. after all, it’s the knife that’s saved both of your lives multiple times before.

and ellie, she’s the best patrol partner to have. there’s no doubt about it— most everyone in jackson feels lucky if paired with her. she’s quick on her feet, rarely fails a task, and god, can that girl put up a fight. especially when that fight includes her lucky switchblade.

that stupid knife occupies your thoughts as you try to fall asleep each night. at first you weren’t sure why. it’s just a silly knife— it’s what you thought at first. however, deep down you it’s the girl that wields it. it’s her confidence, the way she protects you. it’s these thoughts that have you realizing you have a big fat crush on ellie williams.

and now it’s just your luck that maria pairs you with ellie again for a week long patrol. the hopeful part of your brain wonders if ellie asked maria to pair you two together again. maybe ellie recognizes that you’ve been avoiding her. while you two aren’t super close in the first place, your minimal conversations seemed to have just disappeared. when you see ellie walk one way, you are walking the other. and it’s all over your silly little crush.

in reality, ellie has been too stressed to notice. at least, she was until maria told her she’s being paired with someone new for the next patrol. all she could think about was the realization that you’ve been ignoring her. the realization has her set on seeking you out after work. She won’t have her girl ignoring her.

your post-work relaxation time suddenly ends exactly ten minutes after ellie got off of work. your body visibly freezes as your hear loud knocking on your door. you know it’s ellie deep down, but you’re still praying it’s not. it’s not like you have anyone else that would need you this hour. having to face the woman you have a major crush feels like the end of the world to you.

every step towards the door fills your stomach with more and more dread. deep breath in, deep breath out. you whip open the door just to be met with ellie’s displeased face. ‘fuck? does she know?’ it’s all you can think now.

“so… are you going to invite me in? or?” you blink up at ellie, quickly nodding. you can tell she’s irritated about something.

stumbling over your words, you respond nervously. “y-yeah. come in.”

you’ve barely shut the door before ellie starts questioning you. “why are you ignoring me?” she sighs out your name, “you didn’t even tell me! i had to hear it from maria. not nice, is it?”

ellie’s words go straight to your core. your body starts to feel warmer and warmer with each glance at her. you know you should feel about about upsetting ellie but how could you why she just looks this hot? at the least, you decide you’ll apologize. it would be silly to let anything like this get in the way of your friendship.

“shit, els. i’m sorry. i just— i dunno.” you hope she can hear the guilt seeping through your words. you agree with her, “yeah, it wasn’t cool of me.”

“you dunno?” ellie questions, her eyes filled with curiosity and something else you can’t place. you watch as she fidgets with something in her pocket before continuing, “guess you gotta find an answer, huh?” her teasing tone does nothing to help how you’re feeling.

before you can even attempt to open your mouth, your brain starts to malfunction. the second your eyes land on the knife coming out of her pocket, you know it’s over for you. it’s the switchblade. the one that started this whole mess for you. god, ellie was just making this all so much harder for you by the minute.

the quiet sound of the blade being switched open and shut is mesmerizing to you. all doe eyed over it, you don’t hear ellie trying to get your attention. it’s not until she realizes what you’re fixated on that she feels clued in. her silly girl has been getting all pent up about her switchblade.

you blink semi-back to reality as a hand is suddenly being waved in your face. “hello? you gonna come down to earth?” ellie’s tone teases you.

“huh?” the world feels unfocused as you try to convince yourself you can get out of this situation.

ellie’s voice is “oh, i get it now. kinda slutty, baby. all shy over my knife, hmm? maybe it’s time you see it all up close and personal now.”

ellie’s words instantly catch your full attention. fuck, she knows. fuck! you feel like the whole world is spinning.

“you could’ve told me sooner, ya know. wouldn’t mind corrupting a pretty girl like you.” there’s a predatory grin hidden among her teasing tone.

caught in the act, you try to deny it. the crack in your voice makes it less convincing. “what? no way! just got distracted ‘s all.”

“oh? is that so?” each word dripping with fake curiosity as ellie starts to slowly walk towards you. step by step, you’re being forced towards the wall.

“can’t escape now, can you? well, not like you should try anyway, baby. i’ll always catch you… even if it means i have to hurt you a little,” ellie all but whispers, instantly making you more wet.

two more steps and your back is hitting the wall. you’re sure it would hurt any other time, but not now, while the hottest woman you know is teasing you. all the nights spent with your hands down your shorts while thinking about ellie finally seem to be paying off.

“caught you baby.” she grins like a wolf, watching you gulp due to a mix of fear and excitement.

ellie’s grins morphs into a smirk as she decides what exactly she wants to do to you. she almost feels bad for how how turned on she is by the fact you’re at her mercy now. sweet, innocent you being so obsessed with her knife? she decides it would be an absolutely travesty if she didn’t give you a taste of her with it.

surging forward, ellie’s lips crash into yours. her semi-crackled lips meet yours with a fiery passion that could burn down cities. ellie’s tongue shoves into your mouth. moaning, you instantly grant her dominance. the connection between you two is electric. this is the moment you’ve both been secretly pining for.

you’re the first to come up for air. spit hangs from your lips as you look into ellie’s blow out eyes. lust is written all over her face. while you’re staring into her eyes, you don’t notice her slipping her trusty blade out of her pockets.

you gasp out when you see the knife in her hands. “e-ellie?” you stutter out. you hope she can’t tell you’re nervous now, but of course she can. she’s ellie williams.

ellie mocks you, “y-yes?” she watches as your face turns red. “gonna be still for me, baby? gonna be my good girl? i don’t want to hurt you,” she faux frowns.

she smiles, pleased with your obedience. “such a good girl,” she draws out. “gonna get rid of this is silly little top now. you won’t need it for what i’m going to do to you.”

you’re not sure if that’s a threat or not. either way, the damp spot in your underwear is starting to grow larger. you watch with horny but cautious eyes as she brings her blade up to the top of your shirt, right by your chest.

ellie quickly slices your top down the middle, cutting off your bra and tank top in the process. your brain short circuits. you’re unsure what to say, so instead you let out the most phonographic sound ellie has ever heard in her entire life. it’s a sound between a mix of a gasp and depraved moan. honestly, no one has ever turned you on and much as she is right now.

you suck your breath in as ellie very lightly trails the blade down your stomach. every sound you make is driving her more and more crazy; she’s losing her patience. “that’s pretty sick of you baby. can’t believe you’re getting off from this. hope these cute panties aren’t a favorite.” it’s all she says before you watch your panties get sliced down the middle, pooling down to your socks.

“you’re such a good girl… bet you’d let me do anything to you. now hold still. don’t make me have to hurt you,” she vaguely threatens before she shoves her knife back into her pocket.

your legs are like jelly as she nudges your legs open with her available hand. you hear her whisper something along the lines of “i need to taste this sweet pussy” before she starts to run a finger between your folds. shuttering, you left out a broken moan. ellie takes it as a sign to continue with her ministrations to your soaking cunt.

your knees nearly give in the second you finally feel her tongue on you. the girl looks up through her lashes as she swirls her tongue around your bud, slowly working you up more. you try to buck your hips up to get more friction, only to be met with her hands forcing you back down.

“beg for it then, if you’re going to be an impatient slut for me,” she spits out.

you try to spit some words out, you really do. the pleasure you’re receiving is short circuiting your brain. you would give up, but ellie’s pointed look tells you to speak up. “please! please! i’ll do anything. wanna feel you more,” it all comes out pathetically.

“see, you can listen. guess i just needed to scare you a lil, huh?” you can hear the condescending tone in her voice, though you don’t care. you swear you’ll do anything as long as she continues.

ellie’s nice this time around— she immediately goes back to shamelessly eating you out. while she loves teasing you, she loves tasting you even more. every pitiful moan just makes her crave you more. she has a carnal desire for you. it’s like you you were both made for this.

each flick of her tongue has your knees buckling. youre internally grateful that she’s holding you against the wall. there’s no way could stay upright right now without her. she has you feeling so sensitive, yet so good at the same time. ellie’s eating you out like a man starved, like it’s her last meal on this earth.

you try to speak, you really do. you want ellie to know how good she’s making you feel right now. it all comes out in whines, though. “i-so good. more! more! please,” you don’t even know what you’re begging for at this point.

however, ellie gets what you’re trying to say. sure, she’ll give her girl exactly what she needs. you feel a finger rub up and down your slit a few times before she enters you. the stretch feels amazing. you have never felt better than you do right in this moment. you reward her with the most delicious moan she’s ever heard.

“gonna have you take another baby. wanna fill you up,” is the only warning ellie gives you before she slides her middle finger in.

rewarding her with another moan as she puts her mouth back on you. you feel so full. so good. you’re starting to see stars. every thrust of her fingers, flick of the tongue, or bruising grip on your hips has you coming closer and closer to the edge. luckily, the woman catches onto your closeness. she starts to speed up her ministrations to your wet cunt.

legs starting to shake, ellie moves her hand to hold you down my the stomach. a cry leaves your lips as the newly delicious pleasure starts to make you even weaker. at this point, your favorite patrol partner is making out with your clit as her fingers slam back into you. three more thrusts and you start to reach your orgasmic bliss.

ellie fucks you through your orgasm. the way you squeeze around her fingers has her soaking her boxers with slick. she’s never craved anyone more than you, she swears it. watching you come undone because of her has her feeling some type of way.

ellie hears you whisper out a “fuck.” she knows you’ve come back down to earth. it’s all you can think to say as you adjust post-bliss. it’s been decided: that was the most earth shattering orgasm of your life.

ellie smirks, standing up to kiss you. “you, me, my strap, and the knife. tomorrow night?” she whispers as you catch your breath.

“yours or mine,” you giggle out before meeting her lips again.

[existentialgaybirdnerd]

How the 141 show love to each other

Ghost:

He sends Soap random pictures of flowers and stuff, the sunrise when he's up for it, or even a bumblebee he found resting on a flower. Knows how his coffee is made perfectly when it's homemade. Gives little forehead kisses when they're alone or with the 141 only. Will hook his ankle under Soap's feet and stay there for hours if necessary, anything to keep the contact.

He hands Gaz small things he likes, a particularly pretty leaf or a loose bolt he found on the ground. He also gives him samples of teas he thinks he'll like, makes sure to pay attention to if he needs a blanket.

He'll sit next to Price on a rough day and say nothing, just be a grounding presence. He'll save him his favorite foods from the mess hall and put them on his plate when Price comes and sits down.

He includes Laswell during team activities when possible, making sure she can take a call and face timing her so she can see the dumb shit that's happening, putting the phone in the best position to see the chaos. Sends her and her wife their favorite candies for holidays.

Soap:

Makes and fixes things for Ghost, sends him pictures of the stray cats he sees on his walks and while he's making his way around base. He knows Ghost's cafe coffee order by heart so he can order for him while they're in public. Cheek and nose kisses, likes to gently bite Ghost's cheek when they're alone, claims it's to "show dominance" but does it so softly that it just feels like a love nibble. Puts his hand under the mask at the back of Ghost's head and plays with the hairs at the nape of his neck.

Cuts Gaz's hair for him, Gaz once got a bad cut at the place he went to because they had a person who was new to styling do it hair so when he got mad about it back at base (not at the person, never at the person) Soap fixed it for him and made it better. Kicks his feet when he's nodding off in places he shouldn't be.

Steals Price's hat at least once a month to make sure nothing is falling off or tearing or ripped. During these inspections he'll add another bobble to the collection, something light and small to its unobtrusive. Draws little cute pictures and slips them in his vest pockets when he gets close enough.

Will send selfies and pictures of the group to Laswell, texting her a fun fact or a pun every day, telling a funny story about the recruits or what Gaz or Ghost or Price did that day too if there is one.

Gaz:

Gets Soap new drawing journals when he runs out, new pencils too. Gets him socks with dumb ass designs for Christmas and Halloween, the latter one because he thinks it's hilarious to give gifts then. Listens to and talks about special interests and really pays attention, even educating himself on aspects he doesn't know about.

He'll do the same thing for Ghost that Ghost does for Price. He'll sit next to him in silence and do his own thing while Ghost is having a bad time, waiting until he wants to speak. He learned sign language and taught Ghost so they could speak easier on days where his brain felt too heavy to conjure up the right syllables. Keeps every leaf Ghost gives him and puts them in a scrapbook with a date and location, shows Ghost after it's done.

Hugs Price almost religiously. He's Price's most common hugger, being the majority of where he gets his touch (platonic) so he's not touch starved. Will drag Price out of bed on a bad day since Price asked him to if he deems it an appropriate day to do so, will talk Price through boring paperwork and make it more fun so it goes faster.

While everyone else texts Laswell every day, he does every other day if that, leading to barely any exchanges but when there are some, they're meaningful to both of them. He's her vent partner, the person she goes to when she needs to complain about someone or something, he gives advice and is an overall good listener.

Price:

He gave Soap a fitbit once, something he won one time and never wore himself, he has the account linked on his phone so he can keep track of his heartbeat and sleeping habits, making sure he's getting enough rest and enough time to himself so he won't lose himself trying to be a people pleaser. He also gives him chocolates he knows Soap likes, orders them and stockpiles them for a bad day and then goes up to Soap and hands him a few wordlessly. Trying to silently tell him that he knows what he's going through and it's ok to break sometimes, to stop being strong sometimes.

When Ghost gives him his favorites from the mess, Price exchanges for Ghost's favorites. When he sees Ghost getting overwhelmed he tells him he needs to see him in his office and gets him out of the situation, handing him a blanket when he gets inside and telling him to lay down for a second because Ghost is so overwhelmed he's on the verge of giving himself a migraine.

He gives as good as he gets with physical contact with Gaz, hugging him just as hard, a hand on the back of his neck here and there to make sure he's emotionally balanced, fingers brushing his shoulder to remind him he's not alone. Will make sure he's having a good day or not based on how badly his hands shake. When Gaz gets too into his own head, he makes a game of giving Gaz his hat and telling him to play keep away with Ghost and Soap, knowing leading them into a game will help.

He sends cards and videos and pictures of anything and everything he can think of to Laswell, he's her second vent partner and will be the "beat his ass" version rather than understanding like Gaz. He shows he cares by being willing to burn the world for her and her wife and she appreciated it immensely when he jokes about taking her to a bar fight to let off some steam.

Laswell:

She doesn't like showing that she cares too much with physical things, so her care for Soap is mostly sending him tv show and movie recommendations.

She sends Ghost pictures of plants she found on the internet and what they're useful for. They have a "plant a day" thing where she has a whole list or book detailing various plants in alphabetical order and she picks one to send its information to him.

Give Gaz music recommendations and lets him vent back to her, she has a Spotify they share where they put random music on it if they like it.

Tells Price specific updates about her home life and how her wife is doing over the phone. Nothing too revealing but enough to make him feel like she truly trusts him.

[macravishedbymactavish]

Hugging Headcanons (TF141 + König x GN!Reader)

Turns out, I'm better at full paragraph writing then headcanons, but we do our best in this house.

TW: Light swearing (like 2-3 words at most), little bit of cheeky adult(ish. Major ISH) behaviour, and mentions of anxiety/overthinking

| Blog HQ | Ghosts Version | Modern Warfare 2 Masterlist | 18+ MDNI | Taglist Open |

Soap:

If he had it his way, he'd be hugging you constantly. Loves (and I mean LOVES) physical contact and just being close to you in general.

He is also very vocal about this. From the beginning of your relationship he's made it known that he L I V E S for physical contact.

His favourite way to hug you is from behind, especially when you're not expecting it. The little jump then relaxing when you realize it's him brings him so much joy.

100% content with holding you from behind like this, chin resting on your shoulder as you do things.

Cooking? He'll be there, likely stealing some of the food before it's served (and laughing when he gets smacked with the spoon).

Paperwork? He'll try to hold you with one arm and write with the other, until Ghost or Price gives him shit because you're both now working at half your normal pace.

Anywhere, anytime. He's going to try to hug you.

If at any point you stop and think: "does Soap want a hug" the answer is yes. Always yes.

Soap always wants a hug, please hug him.

Ghost:

Would either be 100% hesitant and unsure of what he's doing, or 100% confident and assertive. No inbetween for this.

I feel he doesn't dislike physical contact (quite the opposite actually), but rather just hasn't had any physical or emotional connections in quite a while. So long in fact that he's grown fine without it. Until you came around.

Like context pre-hug aside, he probably did the cliche "tense right up then relax once he realizes he's safe" the first time you hugged him. Now he's hooked on the warmth of your body, the way you feel pressed into him, and how automatically relaxed he gets while being hugged.

Since he strikes me as someone who isn't huge on PDA (he's a rather private person) as much as he wants to hold you 24/7, he reserves this for moments when it's just the two of you.

The exception to the rule being stressful missions or any time when he was concerned for your wellbeing. He will gladly hold you close to remind himself that you're okay. No matter where you are, just a reminder that you're still here. You're still his. He pays no mind to anyone else in that moment outside of you and him.

He would NOT be open to questions or explanations the first time this happens, especially if it's in front of the guys. Yes, he's proud of you. Yes he's happy your his. No, they don't need to know every detail of your relationship.

Price:

I can see him being the "little bit obnoxious but a lot of love bear hug" type. Like you can't breathe but that's okay, he loves you a lot.

Much like Ghost - not huge on PDA. Partially because he likes to keep his personal life and work life seperate. But also a professional thing.

He leads a team, he has to keep up appearances. He also doesn't feel like dealing with his sergeants teasing the life out of him for being a softie.

He's also not a teenager anymore, his "I need to touch you at every minute of every hour" days are over. He's perfectly content holding you when appropriate/when he can.

He tries his best to balance work and home. Hugs and loving talks before bed are a MUST in this household. Of course you'll cuddle up in bed, but he makes a point to love up on you a bit more while you're both awake and can remember it.

Like everyone on this list: long hugs before he's deployed and when he first comes home. But I feel like his are more worth mentioning? He's been in the military either the entire time or majority of the time you've been with him. So because of that, you've sacrificed so much for this relationship so he could pursue his career/what feels right. The least he can do is set aside time for just you, to let you feel even a whisper of closure before he goes/when he returns.

I just imagine in the kitchen, tight hug. Ready to say goodbye, as he whispers stuff to you. Like whether it be bits of your vows, quotes he knows you live by, or just how much he adores you for everything. He would make an absolute point to give you another piece of his soul to treasure before he leaves (we can get into this more later if wanted)

Gaz

Another very playful soul. Not outward on PDA, but won't give up a chance to hug you quick or keep a hand on the small of your back.

You rank pretty high on the better things he has in life (if not on top), of course he's going to show you off. He landed a partner who is gorgeous inside and out.

As shown in game, he is a cheeky mf. So expect this to translate into the physical contact.

Mid-hug he may grab a handful of your ass, or start peppering kisses to your neck if hugging you from behind - then pretend like nothing happened (obviously in private. Time and place for everything folks).

I can see him being big on having his arm around your shoulders quite often. Like in resuraunts, resting his arm on the back of your chair, or doing the same while sitting on the couch with you. Just casual contact, a small flex of "they're mine, crazy right?"

Expect to be pulled into a tight hug, then dipped during your first kiss at your wedding. A little bit of flair and spice on your big day. Especially considering he got so flustered after your second or third date, that instead of going in for a goodbye/goodnight kiss he chickened out and opted to hug you close instead.

You melted when he told you that one night, when recounting the many stories and memories from your relationship.

So hugs, needless to say are pretty symbolic in your relationship

König

(Side note: I live and breathe the fact that his social anxiety is canon. I've never related to a character faster)

As anyone with social anxiety knows: it's not about whether you like physical contact or not -- it's normally the overthinking about "Do I initiate? Do I not? Do I pull away first? Am I hugging them for too long? Is this weird?"

He's very sweet overall, but quite awkward and overthinks hugging you initially. But wishes so much that you'd hug him over and over again.

He almost melts the first time you do, but is another "cliche freezes then relaxes" because he's so nervous. He really enjoys your company, he doesn't want to mess this up. He wants this to feel as nice and loving for you as it does for him.

Needless to say, it takes a little while and a lot of reassurance for him to get comfortable hugging you first. But when this day comes, oh boy watch out.

He will hug you at any opportunity. From behind hugs, side hugs, bear hugs, quick hugs, hugs where you do that little sway thing, hugs where you lightly rub the other persons back. He loves them all equally.

He especially loves hugs where you rest your face against his chest, and relax into him. Letting all the stress from your day fade for even a moment (because that's how he has always felt when you hugged him)

He found it both comical and endearing when you dragged a chair from across the room to in front of him to stand on so you could either (depending on your height and the chair)

1) Press your face into his neck without him having to bend right down

Or

2). Let him rest his head against your chest and relax.

Not that he'd ever admit it out loud, but that's the memory he finds himself thinking back to when he can't sleep during a long deployment. Or when he needs a quick pick-me-up after a long day.

Taglist: @bloodonmyhands-1221 @v1naco @bowtruckleninja

[cuubism]

Dream makes Hob Prince Consort in the Dreaming, but does not tell Hob because why would he ever communicate anything. It's just ceremonial anyway. Right? Right.

Anyway Hob lives in blissful ignorance for several years. Sure all the Dreaming denizens are super nice to him but that's just how dreams are, right? It's cool. Nothing weird here.

Then Dream goes missing. Hob's freaking the fuck out -- the last time Dream went missing was fucking Not Good after all -- and as if that wasn't bad enough, Lucienne comes up to him and is like, so... Lord Morpheus left you in charge of the Dreaming in his absence.

Hob: this better be a fucking joke

Lucienne: no, you're prince consort so according to the royal scriptures of the Dreaming you're in charge.

Hob: hang on I'm WHAT so I'm WHAT

Hob: was Dream AWARE of this when he made me consort

Lucienne: *derisive look*

Hob: but I'm just a GUY I can't run a dream realm *shakes fist at absent Dream* my beloved asshole you can't just drop this shit on me oh my GOD

Lucienne: well someone's gotta do it. To be honest I'm still tired from last time.

Hob: well. Uh. *shrugs* guess I'm running the Dreaming now?

----

A year later Dream returns. Hob's been looking for him the whole time but it was kind of fucking difficult when he also had to run a whole REALM.

Turns out Dream was fine he just went on like, a jaunt to another galaxy for dream inspiration and forgot about time dilation in space travel. No big deal. Anyway.

Dream gets back and he's like oops hope Hob hasn't struggled too much, that was only supposed to be three days... lol...

So turns out Hob is not very good at being a King in the way Dream is but he IS very good at just bringing major Dad Energy to all the little dreams and nightmares, just being like the Cool University Professor of the entire Dreaming. So Dream gets back and Hob has managed to befriend EVERYONE in the Dreaming. He's hosting "family dinner" at the palace? He's doing Forums where people can bring their complaints? He instituted set work hours to create work life balance?

Dream is like What In The Democracy Is This. What have you done to my realm.

Hob's like We're Vibing! :) Come on we're having a blast!

And drags Dream to a fucking party going on at the palace? There are drinks? They're doing karaoke? Is Dream having a stroke?

It's all so foreign that he almost calls down a tornado and just obliterates the palace. But Hob pulls him close and makes him dance to the music, and leans in and says, "You know it doesn't have to be all fire and brimstone and seriousness all the time. It's okay to show them you love them."

And Dream is like "I DO love them they're my creations."

And Hob is like, "I know but it's also okay for them to SEE it."

Dream looks around at the ridiculous party. True to Hob's words, the dreams and nightmares look more relaxed and happier than they've been in a while-- at least, when Dream's been around. He wonders what else he doesn't get to see. What they're afraid to show him.

He says, "I went to the Andromeda galaxy for new dream inspiration, but perhaps I should have been looking in you, Hob Gadling."

Hob's like "aw that's sweet-- hang on you went to the WHERE???"

Dream just chuckles and doesn't elaborate, and Hob gives up and pulls him close again, holds him and dances them to the beat of the swing music one of the Music Dreams has just put on. Dream says, "I see that while your leadership skills are... unconventional... I made the right choice in leaving you in charge of the Dreaming."

"Yeah, about that, next time you're gonna spontaneously make me Prime Minister of some place can you let me know in ADVANCE??"

"Well, you wanted fun. Where would the fun be in that?"

[copperbadge]

i was thinking of you the other day and your discussions of your ability or lack thereof to visualize things in your mind, because someone asked me who all had been at a gathering, and i answered them by calling up the room in my memory and looking around it to see who was there. and it occurred to me after the fact that i suppose probably not everyone can do that? but i could even tell you at least approximately what everyone was wearing (color, cut, maybe not precise pattern, but the general style, sure). and while i can’t swear to you that it’s 100% accurate because i don’t have a picture to compare it to, i think it’s pretty close.

but now i’m curious - what would your thought process be if you were asked the same question? if you can’t just look around the room in your mind, is the memory interaction-based? or like… voices you remember hearing? or something else?

Well, bear in mind that I haven't got a great memory to begin with -- possibly the ADHD at work, but also there's a condition that's frequently comorbid with aphantasia called Severely Deficient Autobiographical Memory -- people with SDAM have trouble recalling huge chunks of their lives and when they do have recall they often remember it as if they'd been told it, they have no emotional sense attached. For example, I remember a trip I took where I had to do some hard shit and it was really scary, but I don't remember the feeling of being scared, I just remember that I was. I have no idea how long the trip was, no memory of the hotel room, very little memory of doing the scary thing. I know I did it, but there's not a lot of attachment there.

This is not ALWAYS the case -- for example I have extremely fond memories of certain other trips -- but I don't really seem to be able to switch it on or off. Like when I was in Europe, I stayed in an AirBNB in London, but by the time I got to Rome like, five days later, I couldn't remember what it was like. I ended up spending a little time one evening kind of calling up memories of where I stayed in London and in Paris to try and hard-code them into my memory, and that worked, but I also needed the help of photos and tumblr posts I'd made to achieve it. ("What did it even look like? Well -- wait, I cooked some pizzas in the microwave while I was there. The microwave was on the counter, opposite the bed, and -- oh, okay, I remember now.")

So like, I would have no goddamn idea of the majority of people at any given gathering where I attended, but is that SDAM, ADHD, a function of my anxiety in social situations, or the aphantasia? Difficult to say.

I hosted a get-together on Sunday and because I was host and there weren't that many people in attendance I could name them off, but I couldn't tell you what they wore. The last party I attended, a week or two previously, was at a friend's house and it was mostly folks I was at least passingly familiar with, but I am bad with names and so couldn't NAME a lot of the people there -- but for example I could say "Well, the hosts were there, and I spoke with X, Y, and Z, so they were definitely there, but I also spoke with like four other people whose names I didn't get. I dunno what any of them were wearing even though it was a costume party." But yeah to even come up with that I would have to think about when I arrived, walk myself through whatever I remember of the event in linear order, and just note down who I spoke with. If I didn't speak with them, or if I didn't know them well, they didn't exist for me.

So I guess the answer is that my memory isn't visual and also just kinda...isn't there a lot of the time. It's not like amnesia, or the profound brain damage you read about where the person only remembers the last ten minutes or doesn't remember anything past a certain date in their life, but I just haven't got much memory for things. It's why I use a lot of lists and spreadsheets and make yearly photobooks.

My photo archive on my computer goes back to about 1998, and it's sorted by year, but the top level folder all the years are stored in is simply titled "Where I've Been" 'cause I probably wouldn't remember, otherwise.

[danihow]

Fake

Jake x GN!Reader ENHYPEN

Summary: When walking home from the library someone is following you, you call the first person that comes to mind, your fake boyfriend.

Word Count: 2.0k

Warnings: Someone's following reader, fake dating, stress, simping, rain, mentions of fear, and idk what else.

A/N: Am i writing this over this tiktok, yes. Do I also not like this, yes.

Your life felt like a movie, like a romcom with a surprisingly not that cheap budget.

Sure, it has been a bit too boring for the past few years as you were focused on your grades more than your social life, besides going out of your friends you never did anything far too exciting.

It was almost embarassing that one of the most exciting things you've done in your last three years of college was that one time in your sophomore year where you ran from the guards because you were in the library after closing hours and had to snuck out.

No. It was really embarassing.

At least, you could say your life has not been boring ever since your senior year started, ever since you met him.

Sim Jake.

One of the most outstanding members of the schools' soccer team, almost everyone that knew him were fully rooting for him to be casted in some first division team soon. And, almost every student in your major were too, as he himself was studying your major.

You two have never really exchanged more than a good morning or good luck when seeing each other in the hallways of your faculty, you could've sworn he probably didn't even can recall your name clarily. But you also could've had sworn you would graduate without interacting with him.

You were at least 95% sure about it.

That is, until you were asked by him to tutor him in accountability and finances, a subject he need to nail in order to be graduate with a good score and go to the team he has been receiving calls from, and, for better or for worse, a subject you were amazing at.

Somehow, and you didn't knew exactly when or where, you ended up in a fake dating deal with him.

He needed a tutor.

You needed some excitement.

He was single and in need of forgeting about his ex.

You were bored and didn't mind a 'boyfriend'.

It was perfect!

You thought it was the most bizarre and stupid idea you could think of, and it has been nothing but fun for the last couple of months the deal has been on, you 'felt like you've found a great friend in jake.

But as everything even barely good you had, you ruined it, and you realized it when the smiles he gave you everytime you met to hang out started to give life to something in your belly. When the glances you shot him became subtler, as if not meant to be done. When your eyes started lingering for longer seconds each time he drove you places, admiring the sharp silhouette of his nose and his jawline, the way his eyelashes brushed ever so slightly his cheeks each time he blinked.

You heart got warmer and warmer each time you even dared to look at him, until the heat on your cheeks was no longer ignorable.

You fell for you fake boyfriend.

You fell hard for Jake.

And you were so scared about it.

Your now friendship that blossomed between the two of you and the rest of his teammates, was far too precious for you to ruin it with what you felt, ignoring all the flirty glances and gestures from him. You couldn't even bear the thought of losing your friendship with Heeseung and Niki, with whom you gossiped during training, nor Sunghoon, Jay and Sunghoon who received you with food when you visited his shared apartment; you couldn't bear to lose him.

You had to unfall, ASAP.

Today, almost seven months after staring this messy deal between the two of you, you were decided of getting over this little crush of yours.

The night was really cold, one of jake's forgotten hoodies drapped over your shoulders as you walked to your apartment from the school library, having just finished a project due to monday, your work pal going home for the weekend, forcing you to finale it today. You even had to tell Jake you couldn't hang out with him at his apartment with his roomates to work on it.

The wind was brushing against your face, hair flying everywhere as you adjusted the strap of your bag on your shoulder.

Out of instinct you looked behind you, hoping to find nothing as usual and keep on walking home, but rather got unpleasently surprised to find a man alone all dark clothed walking at most 10 meters behind you.

Maybe he lives nearby. You thought, walking a tiny bit quicker.

But much to your desmay, two turns to the right and one to the left he was now at least 8 meters from you, each time you walked faster he did so too.

You were fucking frightened by now.

Pulling your phone out, you quickly called the first person that came into mind, fingers moving on their own as they typed, in a mere second the ringing was already by your ear.

"Hey." Jake said at the other side of the line, the faint sound of the TV at the background accompained by Heeseung's screams would usually give you a homey feeling, but not today.

"Jake, someone's following me, i'm scared" you muttered rather silently, keeping on with your fast walk, at least 10 minutes more until you got to your place.

"What? Where are you?" He asked, shuffling sounding around, sudden silence in the room. "Send me your live location, I'm going to get you."

"Okay, I- I will." You didn't dare not to do as he said, the amount of time you've heard him this serious could be counted with your fingers, but it someway reassured you.

In less than 5 minutes the sound of a so familiar motor was heard from the end of the block, parking with a scfreching sound right beside you as Jake hopped out of Jay's car, a bee like line traced in his mind all the way to you.

As soon as you were within arm reach he engulfed you in a hug, his arms around your shoulders as he breathed you in, reassuring himself. "Are you okay? Are you hurt? Do we have to beat someone?" He said as soon as he pulled away, hands now craddling your face with so much care it would've made you melt if it wasnt for the adrenaline running in your veins.

"I'm okay." you whispered, now ashamed as you realized Heeseung, Jay and Sunghoon were in the car too.

"You sure sweetheart?" His question definetly was not doubting you, he was doubting himself, wanting to be completely sure of was he had heard. After your nod, he stared over your shoulder to find noone there as he toon you by the hand. "Let's get you home."

Its was almost ridiculous how quick the silent drive to your apartment complex was, your hand subconciously drawing figures on Jake's trying to calm yourself down from the scare.

The fact that Jake walked you to the door didn't help stop the slowly rising stampede running through you. "I know its too much but... can't you stay?" You asked, not daring to look up to him as you did so, his hands still in yours. "Yunjin isn't home until tomorrow... But you don't have to if you dont want to."

"If you want me to I will." He deadpans, voice so determined that made you look up, his eyes already on you and oh so warm, you doubted seriously what thoughts crossed his mind to make him look like that. "Only if you want me to stay."

"I do." You nod, looking at him as he went to say somthing to the guys, his hands waving goodbye to you as Jay yelled goodnight and drove away. The fumbling of your hand searching your keys being the only thing interrupting the silence between you.

As you walked throught the hallway all the way up to your apartment a comfortable air fell within you, his hand aching to hold yours again, your mind instead focusing on not make a fool out of you at the time of placing your key in the keyhole in the darkness of the hall.

And thanks to someone above, you didn't, easily opening and closing the door behind you two, words falling in a ramble as soon as you licked the lights on. "I know this isn't what we agreed to but..."

"What are you talking about?" He asks, confusion written all over his furrowed eyebrows and pursed lips.

"I'm sorry for making you come, I panicked and should've called the cops, I'm also sorry for overstepping the li..."

"Y/N, what are you apologizing for?"

"I overstepped the lines of our agreement, this is fake after all, I shouldn't-"

"Is this still fake to you?" The hurt his voice held made something drop in your stomach, sinking it so far down you could swear is now below the floor.

"W-what?" Your voice was thin, eyes wide as he walked closer to you, one of his hands snaking around your waist without ever moving his gaze from you.

"Is this fake?" He reiterates, his other hand holding yours to place it above where his heart is. "Does the fear I felt at the mere thought of someone hurting you, feels fake?" He starts, eyes so sincere you felt like they were drowning you. "Does the way my heart races as I look at you so close in front of me, feels fake?" He keeps on going, heart beting almost worryingly against your ribcage. " If the roles were reversed, and i was the one hurt, how would you feel?"

"I'd be petrified..." You mutter, unabke to look away from him.

"And its real. See? This..." he says, fingers signaling between him and you. "Us. We are not fake anymore, at least not to me."

"Jake."

"Is this real to you too?"

"Jake..."

"If its not, i can walk out that door and pretend this talk never happened, but if it is, know I'm never leaving now."

"It is."

"Then let me kiss you, for real this time." His voice every second became softer, sweeter, barely above a mutter at the end of the sentence, lips gently falling over yours as he kissed you with so much emotion you felt like melting against him.

"Let me date you, as a real couple this time." He whispers as you broke apart, forehead resting gently on yours, his eyes still closed as his breath calmed itself, mind still running over the fact this was all indeed not a dream. "Let me be yours."

"I was so scared of falling for you..." You whisper against his lips, hands traveling up to rest in his chest. "I was scared of losing you, I-"

"You would never lose me, not when you make me feel like the luckiest guy ever to have you around." He smiles, brown eyes looking so intensely into yours.

"I'd have to say I'm luckier, having the Sim Jake falling for me huh." You had to tease, playing with the wrinkles of his shirt.

"Nah, I'm definitely luckier." He smiles stupidly, a zoo storming throught the both of you.

"Whatever floats your boat." You shrugged, pulling away from him.

"Let's go to sleep love." He chuckled at your teasy smile, pulling you by the hand over to your room. "My sweet, lovely partner." He muttered, hugging you as he fell backwards into the mattress, pulling you with him.

"Why does it sound so different now?" You ask between giggles, resting you head over his shoulder just as you did when you fake cuddled in his apartment.

"Because it real to us now." He mumbles against your hair,, a soft kiss on the top of your head following shortly after. "And I've never been happier to be awake."

[gravitywonagain]

Inquiring Minds

holy shit, i finished a thing. well, a draft of a thing, but still counts!

based on this post about wwx being just dead enough be susceptible to the compulsion of inquiry

--

It was, in retrospect, the stupidest possible way to be found out. Wei Wuxian will readily admit that. Unfortunately, the level of stupidity was not a determining factor for the level of reality — as was the case for so much of Wei Wuxian’s life.

It all happened because one of the two dozen Jin disciples who bothered to show up to the war got a little drunk and a lot prideful and ended up starting a fight he couldn’t finish. Or, that was the going theory, anyway. The Jin leadership — such as it was — wanted an investigation done. As if they had nothing better to do. As if there weren’t reasons to be conserving spiritual power and not wasting it playing Inquiry for a guy who had decided to pick a fight — hopefully, hopefully it was a fight — with a Nie disciple who, granted, did not have the startling musculature of some of her shixiongs, but was still a fucking Nie disciple! 

This guy was not worth their time. This guy was not worth Lan Zhan’s time. Or his attention, or his spiritual power, or the stress it would put on his guqin strings— okay, maybe Wei Wuxian should have taken a moment to purge some of his resentment before walking into the tent. 

But he didn’t. This is important. 

Because then Lan Zhan began to play. 

And there was this strange… tugging sensation in the pit of Wei Wuxian’s gut, right where his golden core was supposed to be, pulling him toward Lan Zhan, or toward the empty space in front of Lan Zhan. 

Wei Wuxian shouldn’t have ignored it. He gets that now. He does. But he always wanted to be near Lan Zhan, and his body had been doing all kinds of weird shit since he’d had his core cut out, and who was to say this wasn’t just another weird side effect. 

Well. It was. A weird side effect. After a fashion. 

But that’s not the point! 

He should have noticed then. He should have left then. But he didn’t. 

The melody changed and the tugging sensation stopped. Which was great! 

Until something else started. It felt like a kind of drunkenness, light and hazy in his head, loose around his tongue. Three or four bowls in. 

He shook himself to dislodge it, but the motion only drew a sharp glare from Jiang Cheng. 

The tent was full of spectators. At least two representatives from each major clan were present, plus several “close friends” of the victim -- like four of the fifteen total Jin disciples -- who probably just wanted something else to do outside of eat, sleep, and fight. Wei Wuxian couldn’t blame them, exactly, war was remarkably boring most of the time, but it was getting awfully stuffy in there. 

Lan Zhan changed the melody again, something almost lexical about it. Wei Wuxian could almost hear the question being asked, even before Zewu Jun’s voice chimed in, translating for anyone who didn’t know the qin language — which was pretty much everyone else in the tent besides the Twin Jades — “What is your name?” 

Wei Wuxian caught his own response between his lips, pressing them together tightly, as the guqin sounded three distinct notes which Zewu Jun reported as Jin Zixin. 

So, good. It was the right guy. That was great. Nothing weird at all. 

He should have left then. He didn’t. 

Lan Zhan played again, and again Wei Wuxian thought he understood the phrase, the question, even before Zewu Jun said for the tent, “How did you die?”

Wei Wuxian felt the answer fly to the tip of his tongue and bit his teeth around it, through it. His cheek bled with the force of keeping quiet. 

It was weird. So weird. But maybe, Wei Wuxian justified to himself, maybe it was just an effect of holding a secret inside for so long and having someone actually ask the question out loud. Maybe, it was just the same automatic reaction of answering with your name when someone asked for it. Maybe he was just too fucking tired, and the resentment under his skin just wanted something to laugh at, something to entertain itself with. Like the five of ten Jins standing in the back of the tent. War was boring, okay?

The notes from Lan Zhan’s guqin hung in the air, resonant and waiting. The moment seemed to stretch out too long. It dragged and Wei Wuxian gradually felt the words stop fighting him to escape. 

But the Jin ghost didn’t answer either. 

When Lan Zhan played the same phrase over — “How did you die?” echoed on Zewu Jun’s tongue — the compulsion was much stronger. This time it was like Wei Wuxian could feel Lan Zhan’s spiritual power pouring through him; the strongest of wines, several jars of it. 

He couldn’t fight it. 

His mouth opened. 

I fell. I fell. I fell. 

“I fell.”

All eyes in the tent turned to him. 

Jiang Cheng’s elbow caught him in the ribs. He didn’t even bother to glare. He said, “Not you, Idiot.” 

The qin sounded and everybody looked back to Lan Zhan and Zewu Jun, waiting to hear the Jin disciple’s answer. 

Zewu Jun hesitated for the barest of moments, stuttering into the start of his translation before finding the confidence of his voice once more, recounting whatever it was that the ghost had strummed out. 

Wei Wuxian didn’t hear a word he said. He was, instead, pierced on two sides. 

On one: Jiang Cheng muttered to himself, “Wait,” and then his eyes went wide as he looked back at Wei Wuxian. 

On the other: Lan Zhan’s fingers froze above the strings of his guqin and he turned to stare over his shoulder at Wei Wuxian with something like horrified understanding dawning within his gaze. 

Wei Wuxian finally realized he should fucking leave. Immediately. 

He wanted to run. He knew better. Knew what that would look like. 

Instead, he was going to simply walk out of this tent as he had walked out of so many already during this campaign. Gravel crunched under his heel as he turned. 

But his brother knew him too well. Jiang Cheng’s hand clamped tight around Wei Wuxian’s bicep, his grip unyielding. With his golden core, Wei Wuxian might have been able to break it. But the real bitch of it was that it was his golden core that was holding him in place. 

Jiang Cheng tensed as if readying for a fight, but Wei Wuxian already knew how that fight would end. So he let himself be restrained. 

He turned back to face the Inquiry. 

Lan Zhan was still staring at him when Zewu Jun finished speaking. He was still so stuck in place that his brother had to prompt him into finishing the ritual. Which he did, with all the grace and skill expected of him. He really was just so beautiful to watch. 

All the while, Wei Wuxian listened to the music and bit through his tongue to keep it silent. The questions continued to drag at him -- “Do you know who killed you?” Wen Chao. “Do you have any last requests?” To leave this fucking tent. -- though the pressure to answer eased significantly as the Jin ghost became less stubborn about it. Wei Wuxian settled for reciting the answers to them in his head until they no longer felt pressed against the thin seam of his mouth. 

It took approximately sixteen-hundred years. 

All seven Jin disciples supporting the war effort left the tent after the ghost had recounted his final moments. The attempted sexual assault was not unexpected, judging by their faces, but still disappointing to hear about. Clearly not the entertainment they were hoping for. Luckily for Wei Wuxian, they were apparently too wrapped up in their Jin nonsense to realize new entertainment was fidgeting in the corner and trying not to sever the tip of his tongue completely. 

The Nie, represented by Nie Mingjue and Nie Huaisang, left shortly after the ritual concluded. If Nie Mingjue had to tug his brother away, Wei Wuxian was too busy keeping his mouth shut to comment on it. 

And then there were just the four of them. Plus the corpse. But they were like six months into a war, so the corpse didn’t actually seem to bother any of them. It hadn’t even started to smell yet. It was still pretty intact, too, and now that it was verifiably a criminal, Wei Wuxian wondered idly if the Jin would let him use it in their next battle. Probably not. 

His idle wondering ceased abruptly as his brother’s fingers bit deeper into the meat of his arm. 

“Wei Wuxian,” he said, all of his surely filial worry for his gege boiling over into a spitting, incandescent fury. He never had to say he loved his brother, Wei Wuxian could always tell. It was the teeth gnashing that gave him away. “What the fuck do you mean you fell?” 

Right. 

Wei Wuxian played it as cool as he could with a definitely-not-bleeding tongue. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Jiang Cheng.” He shrugged, but his arm didn’t move very far. 

“You answered Inquiry,” said Lan Zhan. Succinct as ever. 

“No!” Wei Wuxian said, maybe a little too loud, but not at all childishly. 

Zewu Jun narrowed his eyes and pulled out his xiao. Wei Wuxian tried not to flinch about it, he did. But Zewu Jun only played a short, non-Inquiry melody, and a shimmering, blue barrier manifested around the interior of the tent. 

“No,” Wei Wuxian said again, this time at a totally normal volume. “I was just… messing around. You know how I do that, Lan Zhan. Always a rule breaker.” He grinned, desperately trying to play it all off. Realizing faster and faster how very badly this was going for him. 

Lan Zhan surprised him, then, saying, “Not when it matters.” 

“What?”

“Wei Ying doesn’t break rules when they matter.” 

Wei Wuxian didn’t know where the fuck that was coming from. But he couldn’t say he hated it. 

Except that he did, because it was going to be a problem for this whole I’m just a silly rascal defense he was setting up. 

Jiang Cheng still hadn’t let go of his arm. His fingernails were starting to split the fabric of his sleeve. And worse, his eyebrows were scrunched together in the way they do when he’s thinking through all the angles of a problem. 

Zewu Jun still had his xiao in hand, and he was looking at Wei Wuxian like he was deciding whether to perform an exorcism or an execution. 

But Lan Zhan… Lan Zhan hadn’t moved from his seat on the mat. He had turned his body so that he was facing Wei Wuxian, giving him his full attention, and was looking up at him with… pain in his eyes. Shining, wet pain. 

“You died?” he asked. “Are you dead?”

“I don’t…” Wei Wuxian trailed off. He couldn’t find the words. 

He didn’t know. Which was, possibly, not the best sign. 

“I can’t be dead,” he said, looking over at Zewu Jun, Jiang Cheng, then back to Lan Zhan. “Can I?”

Zewu Jun, still wary, said, “You responded to the compulsion in Inquiry. Inquiry is a song that speaks to and compels answers from the dead. It does not generally work on the living.” 

“Well--” Wei Wuxian started, defensive and scared. But again, he didn’t really know where to go with that. 

“Where were you, Wei Wuxian?” Jiang Cheng asked him. “Why didn’t you meet me at the bottom of the hill?” 

Lan Zhan and Zewu Jun shared a look. They didn’t seem to know what Jiang Cheng was talking about. But Wei Wuxian really, really, didn’t want to get into that whole mess. If anyone was going to see right through him and his flimsy tale about suddenly remembering the location of Baoshan Sanren’s mountain, it would be Lan Zhan. Actually, Zewu Jun would probably figure it out, too. And then maybe even Jiang Cheng. Now that he wasn’t all broken and desperate and gullible. 

Fuck. With the way Jiang Cheng was looking at Wei Wuxian, the way his hand released some of the pressure around his arm, he might already have. 

Wei Wuxian laughed, hoping it came off more smoothly than it felt in his chest. “Ah, Jiang Cheng.” He brought his own hand up to lay over his brother’s. “What if I told you--”

“No,” Jiang Cheng cut him off. “No more bullshit. Where were you?”

The mirth, false as it was, drained out of Wei Wuxian as he saw the pain building behind his brother’s eyes. 

There was movement in his periphery and then Lan Zhan was standing on his other side. His fingers wrapped around Wei Wuxian’s other arm with a much gentler grip than Jiang Cheng’s. Something imploring about the touch. Like he was seeking confirmation to a theory, or maybe proving to himself that Wei Wuxian was actually there. 

“I…” Wei Wuxian trailed off. 

Zewu Jun’s gaze was hard as steel, but aimed, it seemed, at Lan Zhan’s hand, rather than at Wei Wuxian in general. 

“There was a rumor,” he said in slow, even words, “that Wen Chao had thrown you into the Burial Mounds.” He waited a moment after he finished speaking, as if trying to reconcile the words himself, before he looked up to meet Wei Wuxian’s eyes. 

Of course, Wei Wuxian didn’t want to meet Zewu Jun’s eyes. He didn’t want to meet any of their eyes. He wanted very much to be out of this tent and away from knowing gazes altogether. 

Unfortunately, he hadn’t quite figured out how to teleport using resentful energy yet. So in the tent he remained. 

He looked down at his feet. His boots were crusted with dirt and blood and other bodily fluids. War really was super gross, in addition to being largely boring. 

“That’s ridiculous,” he said, still looking down. “Everyone knows that nothing leaves the Burial Mounds.” 

Lan Zhan’s hand tightened around Wei Wuxian’s arm. Jiang Cheng’s loosened, but didn’t let go. 

“Yeah,” said Jiang Cheng, like an accusation, “it would be impossible.” 

Wei Wuxian still didn’t look up from his feet which meant that he missed whatever silent conversation happened between Jiang Cheng and Lan Zhan that had both of them tightening their grips on his arms just before fingers were pressed to the pulse points of his wrists. He struggled, flailing as much as he could, but against Lan Zhan’s golden core and his own, he stood no chance. He could barely budge them. 

He screamed but the sound only reverberated inside the tent. 

The only thing he could think to do was to call up the dead. The dead man still lying in front of them. The Jin. Rapist. Criminal. He could use that wicked corpse to fight off the people holding him down, taking his secrets. Smoke curled out of his sleeves and he--

He stopped himself. 

It was over anyway. 

Even if they couldn’t read his spiritual energy, or lack thereof, his fighting them was confirmation enough. 

He went limp in their grasp. His knees buckled. 

It really was the stupidest possible way to be found out. 

“Where is it?” asked Jiang Cheng. But it was clear from his voice that he already knew the answer. 

Lan Zhan was silent. 

Zewu Jun looked to his brother for an answer, not understanding what they had just discovered. 

“His golden core,” said Lan Zhan. “It’s gone.” 

“Wen Zhuliu?” Zewu Jun asked. 

But Jiang Cheng made a sound that was somehow both a laugh and a sob. 

Wei Wuxian regained control of his arms. He sprawled himself out on the tent floor, exhausted from his struggle. He laughed, too. “After a fashion.” 

Jiang Cheng fell to the ground next to him, hands cradling the place where Wei Wuxian’s core now spun. “What the fuck?” he said, quietly, to no one in particular. Then, loudly, to Wei Wuxian in particular, “What the fuck!” 

His cheeks were wet. Jiang Cheng’s, his own. He looked over to confirm, and yeah, Lan Zhan’s too. Zewu Jun had nothing to cry over, except maybe confusion, but he was too cool for that, so he just stood in the middle of the tent, shocked, presumably, as his brother, another sect leader, and a demonic cultivator broke down around him. 

Wei Wuxian stared up at the tented canvas ceiling and cursed himself for not leaving the tent when he first noticed something wrong. 

“Jiang Cheng,” he started, but Jiang Cheng cut him off with a wet yell. 

“Why would you do that, you fucking idiot?! What the fuck were you even thinking?! How did you-- How--” 

He seemed to lose steam trying to figure out what happened on “Baoshen Sanren’s mountain” and potentially also why Baoshen Sanren’s voice sounded so familiar. 

Zewu Jun’s voice was remarkably calm for a man witnessing-- whatever he made of what he was currently witnessing. He said, “Wei Wuxian, I believe your Sect Leader would like to know how you lost your golden core.” 

Wei Wuxian laughed at that. Because yes and no. 

“No, Zewu Jun,” he said, still laughing. He tried to stop, but it was just too funny. “No,” he said again, slightly more sober, “he wants to know why and how he now has my golden core.” 

He didn’t really mean to say it. He felt drunk again, like he did when Lan Zhan was playing Inquiry. Ready to spill all his secrets at only the slightest provocation. Zewu Jun could probably ask him just about anything right now -- Lan Zhan and Jiang Cheng too, for that matter -- and he would answer it. It wasn’t exactly a safe mindset to be in. But he couldn’t really do anything about that now. 

At least there was some kind of privacy barrier over the tent. 

Zewu Jun stood. Speechless. 

Lan Zhan’s tears fell silently. 

Jiang Cheng glared, hands clutched tight against his lower dantian -- whether to hold something inside or to tear it out, Wei Wuxian wasn’t sure. 

Wei Wuxian felt light as a feather. Drunk and dizzy with it. A weight had been lifted, he supposed, but one he was never supposed to let go. His laughter died down to the occasional press of his lungs. Tears collected in his eyelashes until everything was blurry. 

Emptiness yawned inside him, but it was gentler somehow. As if the secret itself had been clawing away at his slowly healing wounds. 

“Fuck,” he said with a hiccup of a laugh. And again, quieter, “Fuck.”

He really should have left the fucking tent. 

Also, wait. Was he dead?! 

--

(7/18/24: now on ao3)

[h2llish]

for your event may i please request "white camelia" with a singular deuce spade pretty please 🙏

✉ ─── 200 follower event ♡ deuce spade

prompt ─── white camelia: they love you ─ adore you even. but they've always thought you see them as nothing more than a friend. which is why they're confused when they're friends seem to believe otherwise ─ wait what do they mean they're going to play matchmaker?

warnings ─ fluff, pining, gender neutral, lowercase intended, ace slander /aff, not proofread (i just really wanted to post it)

deuce admired the prefect. ─ they have gone up against, and survived, several overblots, managed to handle whatever the headmage dumped on them, and always kept calm in situations when everyone around them often panicked or argued. ─ they did their best in class, making up for their lack of magic with how often they studied, always coming out with good grades and high scores (better than what he or ace often get).

deuce appreciates the prefect. ─ they listened to him when he admitted how much trouble he often got into and how much it hurt his mom. they didn't tease him when he had trouble understanding something for a class, and even offered to tutor him if they thought they could help. and when the prefect is always there to greet him after track, holding out a water bottle with a smile on their face.

deuce likes the prefect. ─ they're a friend he's gotten rather close to. he likes when they laugh, and he likes being someone they're comfortable with. he likes when they lean against him and doze off because they know they can trust him. and he likes when they make time to spend with him (even when there's plenty of other people who could probably be a lot more fun to hang around).

─ and deuce has come to understand his feelings for the prefect may not fall under the feelings of friends anymore.

deuce has never had a crush ─ he's never quite been close to anyone before. ─ except for maybe that time he had a crush on another kid in elementary school; but could that really count? he was only a kid, and he really only liked the way they drew the rabbits they were always doodling at lunch.

he spent the majority of his life before night raven college getting into trouble, picking fights, skipping classes, and living up to a lot of rumors that spread around town. he didn't have relationships with anyone so close that he could gain romantic feelings. ─ the people he did choose to hang out with could hardly be called friends, and were mostly just people who enabled his behavior.

which is why he was so slow to realize his own feelings for the ramshackle prefect. ─ it took some teasing from ace to realize what his feelings really were for the prefect. and even after realizing, he wasn't quite sure what to do. ─ and he wasn't going to take advice from ace, of all people, who offered to help for a price, because he seemed to think he was such an expert on the subject of relationships snd feelings (he's not).

but deuce knew what he wasn't going to do ─ act on his feelings.

his friendship with the prefect of ramshackle was just that, a friendship. they were one of his closest friends, and he's sure they see him as nothing more than that.

deuce thought he was doing quite well at hiding his feelings for the prefect. ─ he believed that between himself, only one person knew, and that was ace, who was the whole reason he realized he had feelings for you.

but, thanks to his friends, he's come to realize that he was very wrong ─ and that he was very obvious. ─ and very hopeless (ace's words).

deuce thinks he's quite content sitting back and letting his feelings fester ─ or at least, that's what he thought, that is, until his friends told him his feelings couldn't be more obvious. and he wondered ─ if his friends (and everyone else, according to ace) knew about his feelings, did that mean, you too were aware? and if that was the case, did that mean you had chosen not to acknowledge him? was this an indirect rejection to his feelings he never actually intended to reveal to you?

oh, he believes he could dig himself a hole and stay there for the rest of his life. at least then he wouldn't have to deal with whatever feeling was digging at his chest and forcing him to make up all these scenarios of your rejection towards him in his thoughts. scenarios of how you must've reacted upon discovering his feelings for you that (he believed) you didn't return.

but it seems his rather troubled gang of fellow first years expected this spiral as they reassured him, that you probably didn't know anything.

"the prefect's pretty busy," jack had said, shrugging almost nonchalantly that deuce was a little jealous (it's much better then the panic he felt).

and epel agreed with the beastman, "i don't think they have ever even thought about something like this happening. they've never hinted at noticing anything!"

"yeah, they're pretty clueless about it," ace sighed, hands tucked into his pockets and looking at deuce with a grin that screamed teasing. "makes you guys a perfect match, doesn't it?"

deuce scowled at him (as much as he could through his fingers that had covered his face after his friends revealed the news about his rather obvious feelings to him), grumbling behind his hand at the heart, "shut up, ace."

ace rolled his eyes, untucking his hands from his pockets to throw an arm around deuce's shoulders, "quit worrying, juice! i can guarantee [name] feels the same!"

deuce lowered his hands from his face just enough that he was only covering his nose, eyes narrowed on ace. he ignored the nickname, instead asking, "and how do you know that for sure?"

"you're not the only one close to them, ya know?" ace scoffed, patting deuce's shoulder and sending him a smug smirk. "they totally like you back!"

taking ace's word was not something deuce did ─ after all, it was ace who often got them into trouble. and he was sure that if you were here, you would have a humbling comment to throw back at ace, reminding him of everything he put their group through. and how believing anything he said might just end up with them in more trouble.

but this was different; and he can't help but feel a little hopeful at the thought that ace was right. ─ that you hadn't indirectly rejected him and did indeed feel the same.

a clap on the back and deuce was back to glaring at his dormmate.

"it's alright, we know you're helpless, which is why we're going to offer you our help!" ace announced, and deuce is pretty sure he heard epel mumble a wait what, before ace contined, "you'll be dating the prefect in no time, deuce!"

"what." deuce said, and jack and epel's voice joined his, the three of then staring incredulously at the boy.

deuce knew he shouldn't have followed along with whatever ace had planned. ─ he's not sure what he expected when ace called for sebek and ortho to meet in jack's dorm, where he introduced to them his, deuce + [name] setup to a happy couple plan (yes, that was the name, and yes, epel teased ace).

"this seems...." jack trailed, eyeing the whiteboard (they don't know where ace got it).

"stupid." epel bluntly finished.

"i think it seems fun!" ortho chirped, hands locked in front of him and eyes practically shining at the thought of playing matchmaker.

sebek looked at whiteboard with a grimace, as if having trouble understanding any of it, (and no one could blame, the plan or rather plans, wasn't exactly... foolproof). he finally added his own thoughts, voice carrying strongly, as it always did, "i fail to see how any of this will help deuce court the prefect. it reminds me of a game ortho has spoken about."

ace sighed loudly, throws his arms up dramatically, "you're all clueless!"

words of protest followed his insult, but he ignored them in favor of turning to the reason for this chaos. "come on, deuce! don't listen to them, it's perfect!"

deuce frowned, eyeing the whiteboard of ideas with uncertainty.

"besides! who would you rather listen to," ─he gestured towards epel and the others,─ "guys who have never been in a relationship," ─ he gestured back to himself, proudly, ─ "or me, who has!"

"you mean that relationship with the girl you didn't actually like, and only lasted for so long?" epel snarked, rolling his eyes with a smug smirk at the heart.

"shut up, epel."

attempt number one: flowers!

"now here," ace pushed a bunch of roses into deuce's hands, forcing him to stumble on his feet for a moment before straightening out and glancing at the bunch of flowers. something about them seemed off, and it wasn't just the poorly cut thorns. "give them to the prefect. simple, right?"

deuce has to agree that it was simple.

"and then what?" deuce asked.

"uh," ace paused, "just figure it out from there!"

"what─"

"here they come!"

and deuce was quickly pushed away and onto the path leading up to the dorm, while ace quickly ran off to leave him to his own. with a deep breath, deuce squeezed the stems in his hands and approached you. when you noticed him, you smiled, and deuce felt his hands clam up even more.

"hey deuce!"

"hi, prefect." deuce greeted rather shyly, forcing himself to hold out the roses in his hands for you to take. you paused at his actions, glancing down at the flowers curiously.

"are they for me?"

"yes, um─"

"Ace!" there was a familiar yell that quickly had deuce tensing up. he turned to find his dormmate running towards him with an angry heartslabyul housewarden on his tail. and when riddle seemed to notice deuce, his eyes met the flowers in his hands, and somehow his face managed to get even more red. and that's when deuce realized ─

oh, he's in so much trouble.

ace passed him, latching onto the spade's wrist and beginning to pull him along, forcing the roses to scatter, leaving you standing there amidst it all, looking very confused.

failed.

"okay, so that didn't go as planned."

"you were collared for a week." epel scoffed, arms crossed over his chest as he sent ace an unamused look.

"a minor setback." ace shrugged off, waving his hand at the boy as he turned to the whiteboard of ideas. he placed his hands on his hips and nodded, as if he had any idea what he was doing, "it's all a part of the plan."

jack and epel exchanged a glance, looking back at deuce who was slouching on jack's bed with his face in his hands. ortho stood beside him, patting the spade on the back in an attempt to comfort him.

attempt number two: lunch.

"all you have to do, is ask them to eat with you." ace explained, while an exasperated epel rolled his eyes at the heart.

deuce furrowed his brows at the boy, "but we always eat lunch together?"

ace sighed, "i mean with just the two of you."

"oh." deuce nodded, but paused, "what about grim?"

"we'll come over to take him away when you guys make it to the cafeteria!"

from around the corner, ortho and sebek joined them, quickly announcing that you were making your way to the cafeteria. ace gave deuce a pat on the back, saying a few encouraging words (that weren't actually all that encouraging), before pushing him on to confront you, while he and the rest of the first years continued on to the cafeteria.

deuce sighed, but gathered whatever courage he might have as he began down the hall in search of you. and it didn't take long to find you, as ortho and sebek said, you were already on your way to the cafeteria.

"hey deuce!" you greeted as you and grim spotted the boy making his way towards you. grim looked between the two of you with an annoyed frown, not happy at the pause to get food.

"hi, prefect," deuce cleared his throat; all he was doing was aking you to have lunch, but the reasoning behind such a question made him nervous, and he had to refrain from wrinkling his clothes in a nervous habit of pulling at them.

just ask, "would you like to have lunch together?" at your puzzled expression, deuce managed to add, "just between us?"

you paused, but seemed to understand what he meant as a smile took over your face and you nodded, "of course─"

but before you could finish, your name was called, and you turned to find the reason. the headmage approached you with his ever-familiar smile, arms held out as he stopped just before you, deuce, and grim. "hello, prefect, i hate to drag you away from your lunch," ─ you all know that wasn't true ─ "but there is an urgent matter i need your help with. please meet me in my office."

you frowned as he walked off, giving you no time to protest or reply as he marched in the direction of his office.

"but what about lunch!" grim cried, "i'm hungry!"

you sighed, turning to deuce, "sorry, deuce. do you think you can take grim with you?"

despite feeling the disappointment settle, deuce still nodded, doing his best to give you a reassuring smile, "of course, [prefect]! i'll make sure he eats."

"thank you." you smiled at him, before turning in the direction the headmage went, leaving grim with deuce.

deuce sighed, shoulders slumping as he turned the opposite of you with grim at his side to return to the cafeteria.

upon reuniting with the others, he only had to tell them the headmage called for you, for them to understand that this too, was another failed attempt.

failed.

"so that didn't work out either," ace said, hand to his chin as they were all once again gathered in jack's dorm room, staring at the whiteboard of plans, with lunch and flowers crossed out.

"we didn't account for the headmage!" ortho said, the only one in the group genuine in accepting and following ace's plan (aside from deuce, who doesn't understand why he's going along with it at all). "perhaps we should try a different idea!" the young shroud moved closer to the board, eyeing the details, before pointing at one of the plans. "perhaps this one!"

ace clapped his hands together, "great idea!"

epel sighed and jack shook his head, while sebek eyed the board, nodding along as ace turned to them to explain the new plan.

attempt number three: sleepover!

epel and jack have decided this might be one of the worst plans on the board, and deuce thinks he might just agree with them. ─ planning a sleepover with their group of friends, only for everyone but deuce to suddenly call and bail? deuce isn't quite sure what ace was thinking when he put the plan on the board, or what ortho was thinking when he pointed it out.

but despite his and the other's reservation, they still found themselves putting the plan in motion.

"well," you sighed, stretching back on the couch of the dorm, the one they used their thaumarks from vil to buy after the sdc, and smiling at the spade who sat on the floor and leaned back against the coffee table. "guess it's just us, huh deuce?"

"yeah, i guess so," deuce quietly agreed, wondering if the way his face heated up was noticeable (he really likes your smile).

grim had decided to eat through all the tuna you had bought him and fall into a food coma back in your room, and with the others having bailed on what you thought was another simple sleepover between yourself and your group of first years, it was only the two of you sitting in the louge of ramshackle as the night drew later. (and you're not quite sure where the ghosts had disappeared to.)

"do you want to play some games?" you asked as you stood from the couch to turn on the console ortho and idia had given you.

"sure," deuce nodded, standing as well to take a seat on the couch as you returned. you sat beside him, holding out a controller before looking back at the screen to choose from the many games.

deuce actually isn't quite sute how long the two of you played games, sometimes playing together on the same team and other times going against each other. he does know, however, that the two of you were having fun, and hearing you laugh because of him filled him with a certain sense of pride

after some time you yawned, leaning back on the couch with the controller resting on your lap. deuce turned to you, and you smiled, supressing another yawn, "i'm getting a little tired."

"yeah," deuce nodded, a smile on his face of pure adoration towards you (not that you were all that aware of that fact). he grabbed your controllers to put safely next to the console, which he also thought to shut down.

he turned to you as you stretched your arms above your head and yawned again.

"i'm going to go get a drink."

"okay." you lazily replied.

deuce disappeared into the kitchen for only a minute or two to grab a glass of water, but when he returned, he found you stretched across the couch, looking to have only intended to lie down for a moment, only to end up dozing off. deuce smiled at the sight as he set his water on the coffee table, and grabbed a blanket you often kept draped over the lounge chairs, before throwing it over you. he had half a mind to attempt to move you, but he'd feel bad if he woke you.

after making sure you seemed decently comfortable, he laid across one of the other couches, and dozed off himself.

success? (the intent was there, but not carried out)

"okay so, it worked but he didn't even confess," ace grumbled, throwing his arms up in the air as he stood in front of the whiteboard.

"where is deuce?" ortho asked, glancing around the dorm for the spade who wasn't present for the meeting as he had been for the others (despite him being the reason for it at all).

sebek nodded to ortho's question, crossing his arms across his chest as he asked, "i don't believe i've seen him since lunch."

ace paused, stopping to glance at the group to confirm the person of topic was indeed absent. "he messes up the plan and then doesn't even show?" ace shouted, huffing as if he was offended by deuce's actions.

"maybe he got tired of all your ridiculous plans and decided to take matters into his own hands." epel shrugged, sitting back in jack's desk chair with a pointed look at ace.

"deuce?" ace clicked his tongue, waving a hand at the boy, "no way!"

attempt number four?: deuce's plan!

deuce is unsure if he's ever been this nervous before ─ well, actually, he is. but the reason this time was for something he's never quite experienced before and he can feel the doubt creep in and start to consume his thoughts.

but then he remembers what jack said when he told the wolf and epel what he planned to do ─ "you're probably going to feel nervous. my dad used to tell me all the time that he was too when he confessed to my mom, but that's fine. it's like when we're running, just go for it and do your best."

deuce sucked in a breath, running a hand through his hair and nodded, "okay, it's fine. i got this."

"deuce?"

the spade almost jumped as he turned to face you, quickly gaining his composure (or what little of it that he had) as you approached. you stopped in front of him, a smile on your face but still looking confused as you glanced around. ─ he had asked you to meet him behind the botanical guardians, just where you found the hazelnuts you guys used for the apology tart for riddle.

"you texted me to meet you here alone?" you asked, although more like repeated what was in the message, "is everything okay?"

"yes!" deuce quickly answered, cringing at how loud he said it, before backtracking on his words, "or no? um, well─"

at your concerned and confused expression he paused to take another deep breath, muttering to himself, just loud enough for you to hear, only further confusing you.

"okay, um, it's fine, i got this."

"deuce?" you asked, again, head tilted to the side a little as you tried to examine his expression. (he was looking a little nervous, and that concerned you even more.)

"prefect─ [name]," he corrected, facing forward but looking everywhere but at you to avoid meeting your eyes. his voice seemed to almost pitch with nerves, but he tried to push through, "listen, um, i don't really know how to this. i've never done this before, but i... well i don't know, um─" he glanced at you for a moment, before quickly glancing away, afraid he might back out with how intently you stared at him, concern written across your features.

no, he has to do this. and if you reject him then he'll just ─ well, he doesn't know what he'll do. return to his dorm and bury himself under the blankets to wallow in self-pity? call his mother and hope she'll have advice on how to handle his first heartbreak? ─ wait, he's getting ahead himself. he has to confess first; besides, you may not even reject him! there's a chance you'll return his feelings, right?

it's fine.

maybe.

"deuce, are you okay?"

deuce deflated at the concern in your voice ─ just rip the bandaid off. he's gotten into fights, fought monsters, and battled overblots. for seven's sake! he can do this!

"[name]," he said again, straightening out his shoulders and somehow managing to meet yours eyes despite his very loose nerves. "you're one of my best friends. we've been through a lot together, and your friendship means a lot to me." ─ he paused to examine your face as you squinted your eyes at him; could you tell where he was going with this?

"but, agh, how do i say this, um─" he could feel his hands begin to clam up and he quickly stuffed them into the pockets of his pants. "i like you. a lot more than a friend. and i don't want to ruin our friendship ─ i think ─ but i felt like i should, no, i needed to tell you. and if you reject me, that's... that's fine. but i had to tell you." deuce finally stopped rambling, squeezing his eyes shut and turning his head, as if he was preparing for someone to land a hit on him.

it was silent, and deuce doesn't know if it's just his nerves but he almost thinks the wind stopped blowing in that moment. then he heard you sigh, and the crunch of the fallen leaves at your feet, until he felt your arms around his neck and your chin on his shoulder. deuce froze, peeking an eye open to glance at you as you hugged him, managing to mutter a quiet, what, before you interrupted whatever might've been happening in his head (overthinking, he was seriously overthinking).

"jeez," you scoffed, though even through his nerve-rattled state he could tell there was no bite to your voice, "you scared me. don't do that."

"what?" deuce didn't know what to say as he removed his hands from his pockets and held them over your back, hesitating to return your hug as he remained confused.

you stepped back, but kept your hands on his shoulders, patting him in an attempt to comfort him, before you chuckled and sent him a smile, "i like you too, deuce. a lot more than a friend."

it was a moment as deuce stared at you, and you let him take in your words, as the gears in his head turned until he finally gasped. a wide grin crossed his face, and he quickly pulled you into a hug, to which you laughed, but returned his action. you're quite sure you could feel his hands shake against your back where he hugged you, likely from the nerves of his confession, but you made the decision not to comment on it.

deuce sighed, "i was so nervous."

"i could tell."

"and you like me back?"

"i did say that, yes."

deuce pulled back, and you think he almost looked like an excited puppy, "so, will you go on a date with me?"

"of course i will."

deuce's smile was cheeky, and if he stayed smiling like that, you feared his face might start to hurt ─ but he was so excited, and you thought it cute.

"wait till the guys hear about this!" at his words, you raised your eyebrows at him, and he paused, "if you're okay with that."

you laughed again and shook your head, "it's fine."

success.

notes ─── i finished it yay! hope you like it eli <3

do not repost, translate, copy or run my writing through an ai

[badkitty3000]

MY MASTER LIST OF NUMBER FIVE FANFICTION

I write exclusively Number Five Hargreeves fanfiction. If you have any requests for one shots featuring Five x reader-insert or my original characters, please let me know! I am always up for new ideas and would love to hear yours! Use the Ask Me Anything button for requests but please read my rules first *Requests Closed*

The only "rules" I have are as follows ( no judgement to anyone, I just have my preferences):

Five will be aged up to at least 17 or 18 (body wise) or older

Five is an old man underneath it all, so no teenage romances or crushes

No rape/non-con, but dub-con is ok

No ABO, hardcore BDSM, Yandere

I will not be writing any Five/Lila ships, sorry!

*Updated September 2024*

POSTED ON TUMBLR:

One Fateful Day

Five x Single Mom Reader-Insert, 5,000 words, one-shot, reader request

Summary: Five finds friendship and a blossoming romance where he least expected it

Warnings: None

Don't Stand So Close To Me

Five x Female Reader-Insert, 6,700 words, one-shot, reader request

Summary: Five was doing his best to resist you. You were too young for him. Too eager. But when he decided to try and scare you straight, he got a little more than he bargained for. That's when he realized maybe he wasn't as strong as he thought he was.

Warnings: Smut, explicit sex, everyone is an adult

World's Collide

Multiple Fives x Multiple Female OCs/Readers, 6,976 words, one-shot, co-authored with @kaybreezy3000

Summary: A steaming hot and humorous deli Five story, and An Ode To All The Fives We’ve Loved Before.

Warnings: Smut, explicit sex

You Made It Weird. Real Fucking Weird

A platonic!Five x Lila sort of fix it for season four, 2607 words, one-shot, reader request

Summary: Five comforts Lila with a mixture of his usual snark, sweetness, and honesty when she has a major breakdown after being away from her family for so long. NO smut! NO romance! Purely friendship. I do not ship these two!

Warnings: None

Five's Audition Tape

Five x Female OC, 4,179 words, one-shot

Summary: Vivian catches Five singing in the shower and secretly records the evidence. When she's caught, she tries to hide from him, which ends in some major rearranging of their kitchen pantry. What she doesn't know, though, is that their little closet bang is not the private moment they intended.

Warnings: Smut, closet sex

A Company Man

Five, The Handler, 2,415 words, one-shot, reader request

Summary: A short one-shot about Five and The Handler when he first got to the commission and how she is the master of manipulation and messing with his mind.

Warnings: None

Breaking The Rules

Five x Plus Size Reader, 8,159 words, one-shot, reader request

Summary: You and Five work at the Commission and you're shocked to learn that maybe he doesn't always have a thing for thin girls. He likes you just the way you are.

Warnings: Smut, slight Daddy kink

Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now

Five x Unnamed Female Character, Five x Dolores, 6,078 words, one-shot, reader request (but also already on AO3 with a couple small changes)

Summary: Five is trying his hardest to be in a real relationship with someone that cares about him. When he comes across a familiar face in a thrift shop window, all of his dreams of normalcy are dashed. And he can't help the decades-old feelings that resurface.

Warnings: Smut, Doll fetishization, Five is not in a good place mentally

Tamed

Five x Unnamed Female Character, 8,141 words, reader request, one-shot

Summary: Five is living his retirement dream, but he's still in his 20-year old body, and he's bored with his unexciting life. All that changes after a chance meeting with an "older" woman that thinks she's going to teach him a few things in the bedroom. But she soon realizes that he already knows what he's doing. And just like everything else Number Five does, he does it very very well.

Warnings: Smut, Edging, Physical age difference (older woman, younger man), everyone is an adult

Coercion

Five x Female Reader, 5,202 words, reader request, one-shot

Summary: You and Five are working as trained assassins and you're not exactly happy with him

Warnings: Smut, Sub Five, oral sex, light bondage, light dom/sub

Daddy's Home

Five x Female Reader, 3,273 words, one-shot

Summary: Taken from a longer fic of mine and turned into a reader-insert. Five wants you naked and waiting for him when he gets home.

Warnings: Explicit sex, Daddy kink

The Contest

Five x Female OC, 5,751 words, one-shot, reader request

Summary: Five and Vivian find themselves under the influence of an aphrodisiac. So, naturally, they turn it into a sexy competition.

Warnings: Explicit sex, masturbation, mutual masturbation, dirty talk

Your Touch

Five x Female OC, 3318 words, one-shot, reader request

Summary: Cute, fluffy drabbles of Five and his wife and their everyday life of being madly in love. No smut!

Warnings: Swearing

Five Hargreeves NSFW Headcanons

Just a list of random smutty headcanons that I have for Five

Warnings: smut

In Sickness And In Health

Five x Female OC, 4437 words, one-shot, reader request

Summary: Thank you for the request!! Here's a funny/sweet/smutty one-shot of Five taking care of his sick wife like the sexy softy he is. I hope you enjoy!

Warnings: explicit sex, Daddy kink

No Escape

Five x Female OC, 8045 words, one-shot, reader request

Summary: Five is forced into assassin mode when Vivian is put in danger by another Commission agent. He must not be very smart, though, because no one in their right mind would dare lay a hand on Five's girl.

Warnings: blood, violence, smut at the end but can be skipped and won't affect the story

Room For One More

Five x Female Reader-Insert, Klaus x Female Reader-Insert, Five x Klaus x Female Reader-Insert, 7192 words, one-shot

Summary: Five and Klaus head out to the bar to celebrate their birthday. When they catch the eye of the attractive bartender, she decides to give them a very special birthday present. The only catch is they have to share.

Warnings: M/M/F, vaginal sex, anal sex, double penetration

Love In The Time of Cholera and Coffee -Chapters 1-6

Love In The Time of Cholera and Coffee-Chapters 7-9

Five x Female Reader, Klaus x Female Reader, 50,497 words, 9 chapters

Summary: You and Klaus are in a casual relationship. No ties, just sex. When you start spending a lot of time at his apartment, you somehow manage to break through his brother's prickly outer shell. He seems to like you, or at least tolerate you the best that Five can. When you start to realize that maybe there is more than just mutual friendship between the two of you, it opens up a lot of feelings and unanswered questions. And a lot of problems.

Warnings: Explicit sex, Daddy kink

Physical Fitness

Five x Female Reader, 2800 words, one-shot

Summary: Five has been distant lately, but you discover all he needs is a good workout to get his mind back on you again

Warnings: Explicit sex, Daddy kink

Lewd Public Acts

Five x Female OC, 7,412 words, one-shot

Summary: Getting busy in a public space with people around? The idea of someone witnessing everything becomes a turn on for Five's wife, and he is definitely up for the challenge. After all, he can never deny her anything. And, let's face it; there might be something in it for him, too.

Warnings: Explicit sex

Addicted

Five x Female Reader-Insert, 3,199 words, one-shot

Summary: Sometimes our bodies get a taste of something so good that it's nearly impossible to quit. No matter how bad it is for us. And right now that something is Five Hargreeves.

Warnings: Sex, little bit of blood kink

Weak

Five x Female Reader-Insert, 4,891 words, one-shot, continuation of Addicted, from Five's POV.

Summary: Even Five Hargreeves is no stranger to temptation. He tries to hard to stay away. He wants to do the right thing for once in his life. If not for himself, then for her. But every man has his breaking point.

Warnings: Explicit sex, rough sex

Strength

Five x Female Reader-Insert, 4,427 words, one-shot, continuation of Addicted and Weak

Summary: Five is finally strong enough to give in to his true feelings and tell you how he feels. You are strong enough to let him.

Warnings: Sex

The Download

Five x Female Reader-Insert, 31, 310 words, 5 chapters

Summary: It's the end of the world and everyone you know is gone. After you find yourself at the Hotel Obsidian, you realize you have something in common with the rest of the remaining population. When Number Five takes a particular interest in you, and your special ability, the evening turns into much more than you expected. The universe may be hours away from imploding, but you and Five are going out with a bang.

Warnings: Explicit sex, praise kink, rough sex, Five is physically 17, reader is 30

Chapters 1 and 2

Chapters 3, 4, 5

All Of My Works On AO3

Halo (Series)

Five x Female OC multi-part series that follows Five and his eventual wife, Vivian, through many stages of their life together. 5 parts total.

All parts in this series rated E for explicit sex.

Halo

First part in series, 25,460 words, 7 chapters

Summary: What starts as a one-night stand eventually turns into a growing romance. Number Five and Vivian are drawn to one another, despite their initial resistance. However, Five's past makes a relationship difficult and she has some issues of her own. Despite an unhealthy codependency, their lives are intertwined. For better or for worse.

Hole In My Soul

Second part in series, 30,903 words, 11 chapters

Summary: Vivian and Five now have an established relationship and are in love. She melds easily into the Hargreeves family as Five finally discloses their relationship to his siblings. But some disturbing behavior from Five makes Viv re-evaluate her choices. Will their love for one another be enough when life throws them a curve ball and they have some tough decisions to make?

Just Like Heaven

Third part in series, 25,362 words, 8 chapters

Summary: Vivian and Five have been actively trying to start a family, but to no avail. The stress is wearing on them both and it's affecting their once solid relationship. With the last few months left on Five's Commission contract, he is looking forward to putting that part of his life in the past. However, Viv is soon confronted with a harsh truth that puts their relationship in jeopardy.

Promise To Kill

Fourth part in series, 86,881 words, 12 chapters

Summary: Five is married to the love of his life, with a young son, and the retirement life he always dreamed. Everything is perfect. Which should have been Five's first clue that something was going to go wrong. A new discovery involving his child leads to a horrible family tragedy. The Umbrella Academy has to step up to save the day and Five's family.

Our Forever

Fifth and final part in series, 32,175 words, 8 chapters

Summary: Five's never been great with healthy coping skills. Even after all this time. When he is faced with a horrible tragedy and he doesn't know how to cope, he blames himself, as usual. But this time, it seems it can't be fixed. Until a sudden vision from beyond makes him realize that maybe he can after all.

Five/Vivian One-Shot Series

Five x OC collection of one-shots that show little glimpses into Five and Vivian's life over the years, in no particular order or timeline. 11 works in total.

All works in this series rated E or M for explicit sex/smut (except for one - rated G)

Damaged 3,210 words

Extra Credit 6,436 words

Piece de Resistance aka The French Lady Incident 7,999 words

The New Neighbor 7,136 words

Sharp Dressed Man 5,514 words, co-authored by KayBreezy

Coming And Going 5,491 words

Let's Hear It For The Boy 7,508 words

You Are My Constant 19,757 words

Summary: This is technically a one-shot, but it's longer because it depicts Five and Vivian's honeymoon and contains more plot and character development

Lewd Public Acts 7,412 words (posted on Tumblr)

When Number Five Steps Out, He's Gonna Do You In 8,730 words, co-authored by KayBreezy

Take Me To Church 6,465 words

No Escape 8,045 words (posted on Tumblr)

Your Touch 3,361 words (posted on Tumblr) RATED G

Five's Audition Tape 4,179 words (posted on Tumblr)

Works separate from my series:

The Sexual Awakenings Of Mr. Number Five Hargreeves

Five x Various Female OCs, 40,516 words, 8 chapters

Summary: Relatively speaking, it wasn’t that long ago that Five was a total moron when it came to sex, and women in general. Having spent his most formative years isolated and alone, once he was thrown back into society, his lack of experience was obvious.... And even though he tried not to let it bother him, he quickly realized that it did. It bothered him a lot.

Rated E for explicit sex

Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now

Five x Female OC (unnamed), Five x Dolores, 6,029 words, one-shot

Summary: Five is trying his hardest to be in a real relationship with someone that cares about him. When he comes across a familiar face in a thrift shop window, all of his dreams of normalcy are dashed. And he can't help the decades-old feelings that resurface.

Rated M for smut/sex

The Assassin's Date

Five x Female OC, 59,057 words, 9 chapters

Summary: After saving the world, Five Hargreeves is working as an independent hitman for hire. When a tough and beautiful woman is witness to one of his crimes, the last thing Five wants to do is kill her. Instead, he makes her a deal. If she goes on one date with him, he'll let her live. When she agrees, he can't help but notice that the date might be fake, but his feelings are real.

Rated E for explicit sex

All Apologies

Five, The Hargreeves Siblings, Five x Dolores, 21,892 words, 4 chapters

Summary: All Five had wanted to do was to keep his family safe, and away from their father. As the young Umbrella Academy pull further away from one another, Five desperately tries to make them see that their only chance at a happy life is to get out from under Reginald's rule. His methods of convincing, however, lead to misunderstandings, hurt feelings, and typical Hargreeves drama. Years later, when Five is alone with only Dolores to talk to, he finds himself thinking back on all of his mistakes.

Rated T for teen (language, mentions of masturbation)

The Download

Five x Female Reader-Insert, 31,310 words, 5 chapters (also posted on Tumblr)

Summary: It's the end of the world and everyone you know is gone. After you find yourself at the Hotel Obsidian, you realize you have something in common with the rest of the remaining population. When Number Five takes a particular interest in you, and your special ability, the evening turns into much more than you expected. The universe may be hours away from imploding, but you and Five are going out with a bang.

Rated E for explicit sex

The Text Mess

Five, Klaus, 5,576, one-shot, co-authored by KayBreezy

Summary: With no apocalypse looming, and Reginald gone, left with their powers but not much else, the Hargreeves were finally getting to figure out life on their own terms. Number Five was doing what he always did. He was surviving and doing his best to move on from his traumatic past, though the success of that endeavor was evident in the day-to-day reality of his new self-inflicted dark and lonely existence. And then along came Klaus...

Rated T for teen (sexual references, clothed dick pics)

Full Circle

Five x Female OC, 96,272 words, 14 chapters

Summary: Even without an apocalypse to head off, Five has lived a hard life. Physical and emotional abuse from his father, along with devastating heartbreak; this is all he knows throughout his teenage years. As an adult, he becomes a Mafia Hitman. And not a Hitman with a heart of gold. After years of childhood trauma, Five is willing to kill, no questions asked, for the crime family he works for. When the one person in his life that ever meant anything to him shows up ten years later, he's willing to love and be loved again. But everything comes at a price.

Rated E for explicit sex, threats of rape, violence, child abuse

It's A Wonderful Life, Five Hargreeves

Five x Female OC, 22,594 words, 5 chapters

Summary: Five years after he and his siblings were abandoned by their father, and with no powers, Number Five is visited by his guardian angel. An annoyingly chipper woman that is anything but your typical angel. When he is unable to get rid of her, he finally gives in and she shows him what it means to be grateful for what he has and to stop pushing his family away. Inspired by both A Christmas Carol and It's A Wonderful Life.

Rated E for explicit sex

Addicted

Five x Female Reader-Insert, 3,199 words, one-shot (also posted on Tumblr)

Summary: Sometimes our bodies get a taste of something so good that it's nearly impossible to quit. No matter how bad it is for us. And right now that something is Five Hargreeves.

Rated M for smut/sex

Weak

Five x Female Reader-Insert, 4.901 words, one-shot (also posted on Tumblr)

Summary: Even Five Hargreeves is no stranger to temptation. He tries so hard to stay away. He wants to do the right thing for once in his life. If not for himself, then for her. But every man has his breaking point.

Rated E for explicit sex

Strength

Five x Female Reader-Insert, 4.917 words, one-shot (also posted on Tumblr)

Summary: Five is finally strong enough to give in to his true feelings and tell you how he feels. You are strong enough to let him.

Rated M for smut/sex

Love In The Time of Cholera and Coffee

Five x Female Reader-Insert, Klaus x Female Reader-Insert, 50,4979 words, 9 chapters

Summary: You and Klaus are in a casual relationship. No ties, just sex. When you start spending a lot of time at his apartment, you somehow manage to break through his brother's prickly outer shell. He seems to like you, or at least tolerate you the best that Five can. When you start to realize that maybe there is more than just mutual friendship between the two of you, it opens up a lot of feelings and unanswered questions. And a lot of problems.

Rated E for explicit sex

Room For One More

Five x Female Reader-Insert, Klaus x Female Reader-Insert, 7,204 words, one-shot (also on Tumblr)

Summary: Five and Klaus head out to the bar to celebrate their birthday. When they catch the eye of the attractive bartender, she decides to give them a very special birthday present. The only catch is they have to share.

Rated E for explicit sex

Tamed

Five x Female OC (unnamed), basically a reader-insert, 8,183 words, one-shot (also on Tumblr)

Summary: Five is living his retirement dream, but he's still in his 20-year old body, and he's bored with his unexciting life. All that changes after a chance meeting with an "older" woman that thinks she's going to teach him a few things in the bedroom. But she soon realizes that he already knows what he's doing. And just like everything else Number Five does, he does it very very well.

Rated E for explicit sex

You Made It Weird. Real Fucking Weird

Five Hargreeves & Lila Pitts (platonic), 2,632 words, one-shot (also on Tumblr)

Summary: It's been almost seven years since Five and Lila have been stuck in the subway. When Lila has a sudden realization of how much time has passed away from her family, she suffers a major breakdown. Five comforts her in the only way he knows how: a mixture of sweetness, honesty, and his usual snark and attitude.

Five and Lila will always be the greatest of frenemies and nothing more. You cannot convince me otherwise!

Warnings: None! Zero! No Smut Or Romance!