#everyone loves a banana hammock

[ninbinary]

is that a banana in your parlor said the spider to the fly ok this one got away from me

[bucketspammer4life]

super macho man headcanons

these headcanons? you cant afford these headcanons!

Can and will always reply to anything with "that's what she said" or "your mom" if it fits,everyone absolutely hates him for it.

Says he has a godly spice tolerance but can and will scream if you give him anything remotely spicy, considers black pepper spicy.

Has a wardrobe full of silly button-ups with fun patterns, he is not ashamed of it and will show it off with pride.

Very reckless with stuff he owns since he can always buy another copy of it thanks to his bank account as deep as the mariana trench, has crashed 3 cars somehow. (1 done for shits and giggles, 1 accidental and the last one stolen.)

Can and will go shirtless anywhere, in his iconic Super Macho Banana Hammock™ if possible, to the point where his PR team had to stop him from showing up in it to a funeral once.

Sings in his sleep and its absolutely HORRIFYING, its always either Lady Gaga songs or beatboxing, has woken up to himself singing multiple times.

Has the ugliest crying face ever, the WVBA has the unspoken rule of "Do not look at Macho Man while he cries unless you can hold in your laughter or youre a fast runner." Thanks to him.

Really good at improv comedy somehow, it works thanks to his voice/accent and the way he answers questions.

Cannot pronounce Baja Blast, it always comes out as "Boho Blost"

Has been caught stalking the other boxers social media accounts, the first victim of this was Glass Joe, everyone later found out he was absolutely flaming everyone on his alternative accounts.

Likes eating Jello, has a shirt that says "I FUCKING LOVE JELLO" that was a gift from his dad.

Once tweeted out a picture of his ass to Don Flamenco after he lost a match to him,got banned instantly off of Twitter.

Extremely commited to jokes/bits to the point where he references them during actually serious situations.

Has bailed out the other boxers out of jail multiple times, he may be a asshole but he isn't willing to let his fellow colleagues™ stay in jail.

[quill-pen]

So, we talk about fashion a lot for the girls and the Scroogeverse. So I’m curious if you have any hcs for pajamas/lingerie.

Do you see any of your girls having preferences? Do any of the guys have preferences (for their ladies or themselves)?

Ooh, good question! Slightly NSFW content?

Wolf:

No throwing on a random pair of boxer shorts and T-shirt for him; this man likes actual pajama sets. Two piece sets, long-johns, nightgowns, he's not particular of the style, so long as it's comfy. Flannel, cotton, linen, he's not the biggest fan of satin or silk to sleep in. On himself anyway--he loves it on his lady. (Who could blame him? Bess stuns in it.)

He sleeps commando under his bottoms.

He used to always have a top on in bed because he likes to be cozy. (Despite how well he seems to ignore it, the man isn't a fan of the cold.) But now, with the human heat pump that is Bess cuddled beside him, he's more apt to forgo a shirt, especially since the pair thrive on skin-to-skin contact.

Bed socks are very much a thing for this man.

He does have some spicy undies to wear for Bess.

Some see-through things.

A banana hammock or two.

Maybe some jock-straps and a thong.

Bess isn't the biggest fan of such cuts on men, but Wolf pulls them off quite well with his cute little ass cheeks and fine endowment. And they're only worn on occasion, which naturally makes them exciting.

Her favorite is a particular little piece that cups the jewels but leaves everything else bare and free to admire and play with.😏

Bess:

Unlike her hubby, girl will make PJs out of anything comfy. She actually doesn't really have pj sets, except for some holiday themed ones.

She does have a bit of a thing for nightgowns; they make her feel like princess. So she owns several of those.

Winters, she will dress a little more warmly for bed, but summers, she's perfectly comfy in a tank top and knickers. Sometimes not even a tank top, much to her man's pleasure.

She has a penchant for grabbing a pair of Wolf's briefs or a shirt of his and hopping into bed just in that.

She does have some cute pajama pants in her collection, but most of those are worn more as sweats than they are worn to bed. She'd end up kicking them off through the night usually anyway.

It goes without saying, Bess has a bigger lingerie collection than Wolf does: After all, lingerie just fits the female figure better.

Of course, these are not ever for sleeping in, they're for fun, sexy times. She ends up getting stripped completely of them in the end and falling asleep naked anyway.

Girl has a little bit of everything in her collection except latex. She's not a fan of the aesthetic. And, more to the point, Wolf actually has a mild allergy to it.

That's okay, though, they make up for the lack of latex with some hot leather pieces.🥵

I don't have a whole lot of ideas for everyone else, yet, but I will say, the Cratchits have His and Hers pj's. And the Huffams have an entire collection of couple onesies.

[p1nkcanoe]

OK SO, I have no shame so anon? Not today.

Anyways Ghouls in different forms of gothic clothing, like- each ghoul having their own style ? Yes. Trad goth, Vampiric, corporate goth??? ABSOLUTELY.

Also a ghoul in short leather shorts/skirt, yes please. I'm channeling that for an outfit today.

Ghouls in spooky swimwear too- I have too many ideas HELP.

love, love, love. each ghoul having their own distinct style makes it difficult to steal from each other’s closets sometimes, but also results in some amazing fit checks. it’s also means that sometimes they wander into another room and just go “hot or flop?” and it turns into a 2000s magazine forum about whether or not the combination works or if they need to turn around and change.

you also mentioned short leather skirts and my brain immediately jumped to mountain, so… 😵‍💫 put that big ghoul in a mf skirt.

(it’s also not his, it never is, but somehow he always ends up being dressed up like a doll by every single member in the pack and told to strut like the hallway is his runway)

this one got kinda long when I got carried away with ghouls in swimwear. but who doesn’t love a wet ghoul in a tiny pair of shorts??? allow me to explain under the cut:

but swimwear, oh, this is good. I could ponder upon this in my orb for a while.

dew’s gonna wear either a tiny little speedo or nothing at all because he hates tan lines and thinks he's immune to getting sunburnt (he's very much not immune)

sunshine is a bikini top and shorts girlie. and cmon, she's comfy, secure, safe, and sexy. even dew doesn't mind when she--without fail--steals his shorts off the top of his clothes pile

rain is gonna wear cute little shorts (and I mean little, like the shortest inseam possible while still having an inseam) with a bright and goofy pattern on them like dogs with swimsuits on or sharks with sunglasses

aurora is gonna always wear something pastel, frilly, and so adorable yet sexy, and make everyone wanna put it on (and take it off)

cumulus ALWAYS looks SO DAMN GOOD in something light colored and plunging, maybe baby blue with a tiny, sheer skirt to go with it to show off her ass while she lounges by the lake with a filthy romance novel…

aeth banana hammock aeth banana hammock (at first he wore it as a joke but he kinda understands the hype now…)

mountain prefers to be nude if he’s outside. but sometimes that’s not always ideal, especially if there’s siblings wandering around, so he’ll have to settle for a thin sarong to keep everyone civil

swiss is a tease, we all know this. he’s gonna wear something tight, something stretchy to show off everything without actually showing everything. if you thought the skin-tight spandex were bad before he got in the lake, just wait until he gets out

CIRRUSSSSSSSSS, FUCK. she never disappoints. it’s a one piece that functions as a two piece, sometimes barely even a two piece. something dark, strappy, that wraps around the waist and the tops of her arms almost like lingerie. unlike dew, she thinks the many tan lines she gets from her suits are sexy and she makes every excuse to get more

phantom is a wild card. there's no telling what he's gonna show up to the lake in. sometimes its the shorts copia bought him, other times it's a pair of boxers or nothing at all if he's feeling overstimulated... there was also that one time that he stole one of cirrus' swimsuits and made quite a show of it

there’s so many good options here and I’m sorry I fixated on such a small part of your ask, but it’s so yummy I couldn’t not eat it up. also did not touch too much on the "spooky" aspect of your prompt, but it's spooky how sexy they all are, amirite?

—anyways, thoughts????

[tomboy014]

My art teacher in high school HATED me and everyone at our table (3 of us). Maybe because we were weird, maybe because we actually had fun with our projects, we'll never know, BUT!

We were also some of the technically best artists in the class, so she couldn't fail us while we were placing in art contests

We called ourselves the Ooga Booga Tribe, and for our 3d paper art project, we made a purple sheep, in a yellow banana hammock, between two palm trees, with shooting stars coming out of the tree tops. It met every metric, was one of the most creative projects in the class, and we got an A

We loved it. She absolutely DESPISED it 🥰

@ecto-stone @hum-tittle @amethystoceandespiser @coloredcompulsion @trice-the-nobling @edjectedly

it's so weird to me that everyone on this website is a human person outside of their weird internet niche so rb this with a random bit of your lore

[audible--silence]

I feel more nervous about money than i do about paragliding

Mierenneuker - ant fucker: someone too focused on small insignificant details

Mela pela - no fucks given

El que tenga miedo que no nazca - if you’re scared to die, dont be born

“She’s more the heart and im more the brain”

“People are like shooting stars while traveling, they shine brightly past you and then they’re gone”

“I dont think I’d be able to make sense of the things that i see and experience without writing and shooting”

“PLEASE someone put a banana in me…

- on the topic of fried plantains

“I think its quite cute. I find myself cute”

“Turns out you actually have to search for the people you like”

“Dumb and dumber but we’re just taking turns swapping who’s who

I hope i dont get used to it all

None of the best times of my life have ever come without doubts and regrets. The hindsight is always positive on those memories while the future is still bright

“Yeah some people are definitely profiting off of second wave feminism”

“Like trans men”

“French men?”

“TRANS MEN. But probably Frenchmen too”

Anyone with a head on their shoulders and a heart in their chest will agree that meeting someone on the same wavelength as you is a feeling that is very hard to beat.

Today consisted of finding a bus that wasn’t on google, crossing a border with no idea what legality was require, subsequently received no stamp in my passport which I suspect will eventually be a problem, no actual currency for the new country, no sim card and no idea how to find a place to stay, eventually borrowing some lads phone to maps myself to a hostel, walking there from memory, got circled and nearly attacked by dogs on a back alley dirt road then arriving at the hostel to discover some friends from Guat here.

And now, tomorrow I am apparently riding on the back of a motorbike with a british girl who’s never ridden a motorbike before and also never driven on the wrong side of the road before going to hike up a waterfall.

Another day in the fuckin life hey

How do you go back to reality after charming taco stands at 1am on a Tuesday with strangers, hammocks on a remote beach and surfing till your shorts tear, strange small towns on the way to somewhere else and big fuckoff cities full of class and grandeur, a volcano erupting during a lightning storm, people you share years of experience with but have known for a week and fighting off dogs to get to the home you’ve never been and everything else that happens in a day away from what you thought you knew.

“My bank wouldn’t give me a new card so I joined the cartel”

“Jacque really taught me that wisdom is knowing when to break the rules”

“Just dootdododootdoing my way down the continent!”

“Thank Something” - when ur not sure what god looks like

You just learn things you didn’t know you had to learn

Things you didn’t know you needed to know

My vans be lookin a lil worse for wear these days but i know they smilin.

And so am i.

We seen some shit together.

“Oh i love Tim! He made me smoke human ashes!

It was his best mate and we smoked him”

“You speak dutch?”

“Sweetie im from belgium”

“Why dont you speak waffle then”

If you know three languages its because you have to swear in a lot of them

“Yeah whenever i feel shit while traveling i just call home and that reminds me how good I’ve got it. It feels very weird to feel shit about nothing but thats sometimes good to remind yourself of it”

“If you cut me open and took a pint of my blood, id probably still drink it because it’s a pint”

“I need to move out here! Everyone just vibin!”

“Do you reckon it ever packs out?”

“Maybe on weekends?”

“It’s Saturday…”

“I find you a bit annoying”

“Thats ok. I really dont give a fuck”

“I want sticky pants” - on chasing surf

“The coke can of the energy levels has been open a lil too long”

Whats the difference between god and a surgeon?

God knows he’s not a surgeon

[embyrinitalics]

An Inconvenience

Read the previous thread here, or jump down the rabbit hole 🕳🐇

Link lays awake that night, staring restlessly at stars.

She’d left, and he can’t for the life of him figure out how he’d let it happen.

The stories don’t help him sleep. He finds Farosh’s Tail and tells himself the story of the first thunderstorm and lifegiving rains it brought with it. He finds the Mighty Boar and the story of the first hunt, but he can’t imagine ever having an appetite again, so dwelling on that seems pointless. He finds the Great River, where the first woman stepped out of the waters and made herself a companion out of clay and animal bone and bits of dragon’s claws. When she pressed her mouth to his to give him breath, he was so grateful and awed by her that he kissed her again, trying to give it back.

His chest twists and cramps, and he rolls out of the hammock and feels his way down to the water in the dark.

The lake is still, the flagstones around the shrine are empty. But he can hear Mara humming at the pool, her song echoing out of the dragon’s mouth, lending it a voice. It’s not surprising. The old priestess never sleeps. He thinks he’s been quiet as he climbs the stairway beneath its teeth and drifts down its throat towards the light of the fire she keeps flickering at the goddess’s feet, but before he can make himself known she turns around and hands him a bowl of broth.

His lips move to form a question.

“I heard you not sleeping,” she says before he can ask, and when he opens his mouth again, “I know. But you need to eat something. This will keep you strong.”

He frowns, but takes it anyway, scenting the stock and taking a sip. He knows better than to argue with her. It tastes of porgy and thistle, and just a hint of banana. Her brow is arched at him when he chances a glance in her direction again.

“Did you really think she would stay? Leave everything and everyone she knows behind, just to be with you?”

“I didn’t think she would stay,” he argues, but quickly finds he has no where to go. “I just... never thought she would leave.”

“Typical,” she chides him, smiling, and turns to lower herself into the pool. “Leading with your heart, without thought for what might be. Without fear. You are a dragon through and through.”

He drinks, just so he can’t ask the question trying to squirm its way out of his mouth. He swallows and asks it anyway. “Was that wrong of me?”

She barks a laugh, so loud he hunches his shoulders and glances warily up into the colonnade, and wades out with her palms skimming the water’s surface.

“Oh, Link. What are we going to do with you? You are what you are.”

He downs the rest of his broth, folding his legs under him to sit at the water’s edge. He doesn’t dare dip his feet in, as inviting as Mara makes it seem. He knows better, even if he is so dragonlike.

“Have you been to the spires?” he asks, planting an elbow on his knee so he can drop his jaw against his fist, and she laughs again, more a puff of air than a bark.

“No, of course not. My place is here.” The water around her hums, glows gently, as though harboring lightning. She glances curiously up at the statue, and then turns with a knowing look in her eye. “Have you even thought about what you’ll do when you find her?”

“I wasn’t—”

Mara snorts at him before he can deny it and turns back to the goddess, humming as she sways her hips. The waters glows a little brighter, just a pulse, and then it’s fading again. He doesn’t understand the communion at all; but then, it really isn’t for him to understand.

His words at the edge of the plains echo in his head instead—too loud to be memory, too distinct. Trapped in him, shoved deep in his brain when they ricocheted meaninglessly off her ears. As infuriatingly unintelligible to her as Mara’s song is to him.

You can’t leave. I have too much I want to say. Too many things I don’t have the words for!

He remembers the rise of panic in his throat, the awful clench in his stomach when he realized he had no way to tell her and that she was mere seconds from disappearing forever. How frustrating it was to know useless words like rain and bird and banana, and none of the meaningful ones he needed, like fire or breathless or love.

If you go, I’ll only follow you, he’d tried to tell her. I’d follow you anywhere.

He feels stupid for it now. How futile that had been.

“They’re not like us,” Mara says—sighing, like she’s talking into the wind. “They lean towards the other balances. Far-sighted as an owl, single-minded as a boar. It’s makes them anxious. They’ll fear you because you’re different.”

He frowns. What a strange reason to fear something.

“Are there no dragons there at all?”

“A few,” she smirks. “But none so dragonlike as you.”

He stares up at the goddess, watching impassively over the world with powerful, unseeing eyes. For the first time he feels an unpleasant twinge of doubt. Maybe they’re too different. Maybe she’ll foresee too many problems (because there’s no doubting towards which of the balances she leans). Maybe it will take too much courage to love him.

He doesn’t like feeling doubt. He’s not used to it at all.

“They’re her children too, you know,” she hums, the water around her pulsing again with submerged light. “Though as I recall they believe she came from the sky, not the waters.”

He frowns harder. “Who’s right?”

She turns to smile at him over her shoulder. “Does it matter?”

Mara goes back to her humming. All at once he feels unwelcome—perhaps because the water gets darker the longer he looks, and brighter when it’s barely in his peripheral, like the goddess is urging him away. Perhaps because she’s humming much louder than before, like she’s trying to drown him out.

He’s getting to his feet and retreating from the spring before he can draw any more conclusions.

For a moment he feels in a fog. But then, beneath the row of stone teeth, watching an icy moon begin its slow descent, the old priestess’s words snap together like puzzle pieces, and the doubt melts from the heat sparking off them.

You are what you are.

He doesn’t know if she meant to chide him or encourage him, but either way, if a dragon is what he is, why does he pretend to be anything else?

He climbs back into the colonnade to gather a few necessities and heads out into the plains with the morning light.

[n6918]

While everyone was at Atlas Ironwood heard about the thirsty moms trying to get Jaune’s attention. Jaune is called to his office for a private mission briefing.

Ironwood: “Jaune being a good huntman also includes keeping up good morale to stop grimm being attracted to negative emotions. That’s why I booked a single room for you and those women at a love hotel. Make sure they can’t walk when your finished Jaune, I want those women to be the happiest they ever been!”

Jaune, to himself: I mean I understood The generals orders, but this? This seems odd

Jaune point to the Banana hammock he was wearing to “cheer up” the moms.

Jaune: Well I guess he has his reasons *pushes open door*

Jaune: ladies I hear to cheer you up!

Milf 1: FINALLY!

Milf 2: gods look at him!

Milf 3: I call frist!

Milf 4: NO FAIR!

Milf 5: ladies we have all the time we need don’t fight … now get him before he leaves!

Jaune: wha- *pin to the ground as the door shuts* wait No! What’s going on?

Jaune Arc was never see again, but the moms had never been happier.

[compo67]

"Sam. Don't hold the knife like that."

"Backseat chef, would you stop?"

"No, because I'm not driving anyone in this house to the ER today. It's negative four degrees outside and my ass is staying inside."

"I hate cutting onions. Why can't I use the food processor?"

"What if the electricity goes out, huh? What then? No. You gotta learn the old fashioned way. That's what's wrong with your generation. Always wantin' to do things the easy way."

"There's so much wrong in what you just said--where do I even start?"

"You don't."

"Yeah, sure."

"Pay attention to what you're doing. I'm not donating any fingers."

"Dean, when I get paper cuts you practically perform a skin graft on me. You're not fooling anyone."

"Okay. Stop. Stop, stop, stop. I can't watch this anymore. Gimme the knife. Now. Watch."

"I was doing that!"

"What you were doing was asking for trouble. Are you paying attention?"

"Yes, I'm paying attention."

"Are you paying attention or 'paying attention' like the time I taught you how to change a tire?"

"I was eight and you were doing a shitty job of it anyway."

"Oh my stars alert the authorities, Sammy's got a potty mouth. Must be the onions."

"Shut up. How do you chop so fast?"

"Practice. And technique. I also apprenticed as a chef for some kid named Sam in my younger years. Hand me the bowl."

"Did you mind it?"

"Mind what?"

"Cooking for me all the time."

"Only when you didn't eat whatever I made."

"I wasn't that picky."

"Oh, you were the pickiest little shit from ages four to six."

"And exactly how do you remember all of this, Dean?"

"Excuse you? A big brother remembers this stuff, especially when the four year old's got a temper."

"Wait. What's that?"

"A person's state of mind at a particular time, typically one of anger, but that's not important now."

"No, jerkass, what's that on the cutting board."

"Just a banana hammock pepper."

"A what."

"Banana hammock pepper."

"That's not what it's called."

"Prove it."

"I--decline."

"That's right. I'm the goremane around here."

"Gourmand. You know what? Never mind."

"Well, I'll have you know that banana hammock peppers give the meatloaf a little kick."

"O-kay. I don't remember being a picky eater. And did I actually have a temper or did you just have no patience?"

"I had way more patience with you than you did with me, pal. You had three basic food groups and fuck me if I didn't meet your demands. Looking back, that's when I should've known you'd grow up to be a lawyer."

"Puh-lease. I don't see you complaining when I pay the bills."

"I let you pay the bills. I enjoy my House Husband status."

"Mm. Tell me one food I demanded."

"You just had to be the only kid on planet Earth to eat carrot sticks without ranch. And if you didn't get your precious carrot sticks? I'd get the waterworks and the screams. You were this close to getting kicked to the curb, Bugs Bunny."

"Look, doc, what is everyone's obsession with ranch? It's disgusting."

"Sam. We live in the Midwest. Ranch is its own food group here."

"Yuck."

"Yeah, I know that face. Okay. We've got the onions, the banana hammock pepper, enough minced garlic that I don't wanna touch my dick for two weeks, and some frozen ass broccoli."

"If you're not touching it, I'm not blowing it."

"Ha! That's what you think."

"It's not what I think, it's the law."

"It'll be like a giant bread stick you can suck on."

"Why do I live with you?"

"Because you love meatloaf, that's why. Pass me the other bowl."

"There's ground beef in here."

"Sammy, in order to make meatloaf, we need some kind of meat. And this ain't just any meat. No way. Guys and gals and nonbinary pals--this here is ground sirloin from our friend at the kosher deli. This stuff is like the Bentley of ground meat."

"Have I told you lately that you're precious?"

"Fuck no. I'm starving for compliments here. Fork 'em over."

"On second thought, probably a bad idea. Also, I'd hate to see what's the Kia Soul of meat."

"That's cruel, Professor. I should sue the pants off of you."

"Don't make me say it."

"Yep, sue the pants right off that ass."

"Fine--but never again. You don't have to sue me to get my pants off. Ugh! That felt so gross."

"Relax, I promise not to tell your lawyer friends about this. Okay, Professor. Tell me what we're missing."

"Frilly pink aprons?"

"Sam. Meatloaf is not a joke."

"We just made a joke about pants! Wow, you've got your hand on your hip and everything. Uh... salt?"

"I'm gonna have my hand on your ass later."

"Is that a threat or a promise?"

"Depends on the loaf. Go on, add the salt. Then pepper. Don't take forever. I don't have all the thyme in the world."

"The puns really make the chef. Is that enough?"

"Yeah. We'll do the Worchy sauce and tomato paste later."

"I need to film you saying that. Do we add carrots?"

"You with the carrots. No, we do not. The broccoli is enough. Toss in the bread crumbs and I'll crack in the egg."

"Ew. This is the weirdest texture."

"Quiet, loaf boy. You know how many of these I've made in my lifetime?"

"It feels like..."

"An autopsy."

"Yup. Thanks for that visual."

"Remember that blow job you gave me last week?"

"When last week? I gave you many blow jobs."

"On the contrary, Professor. Only Tuesday and Friday were blow job days."

"Do you keep this written down somewhere? A little black book of blow jobs, perhaps?"

"You're mashing when you should be mixing."

"What about that blow job? Were you grading me?"

"Blowing me is an extracurricular--no need for grades."

"Oh--oh I should not have laughed that hard."

"Just dump the damn meat into the pan."

"Okay, okay. I'm calm now. Seriously--what about the blow job?"

"I'm thinking back to it."

"Ah."

"You wore lip gloss."

"That I did. I'm surprised you noticed."

"Of course I noticed."

"Well, go on. Can I put this in the oven now?"

"Toss it in. Set the timer."

"Forty-five, you said?"

"Uh huh."

"Could you be any less subtle staring at my mouth? Don't answer that."

"You got more of that lip gloss?"

"I might. For the right dick."

"I'm a colossal candidate."

"I swear, I swear I won't laugh so hard next time. Just. Gimme a second. Oh boy. Phew."

"I'm using my A material!"

"It's working, I'm no longer laughing. That much."

"That's how I got you to eat, you know."

"By making jokes about your dick? Even that's a little out there for you."

"No, you jerk. I made you laugh. Worked like a charm."

"You did take pretty good care of me, Dean."

"Did? Still do."

"Absolutely. Let's step into my office for the next forty two minutes and I'll show you more lip gloss."

"And you'll do the thing with your tongue?"

"What thing with my tongue?"

"The twisty thing."

"Your hand gestures do not help. But I'll figure it out."

"Sam."

"Dean?"

"Can we do it here?"

"In the kitchen?"

"Yep."

"No."

"Why not?!"

"I can't."

"And the reason is... why?"

"I can't do it in front of the meatloaf!"

[ggukkiedae]

❝𝕀𝕟 𝕋𝕙𝕖 𝕊𝕠𝕠𝕡❞

𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚎𝚜:

⇢ Episodes 1-2

𝚛𝚎𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚜:

⇢ conversations written in italics are spoken in english. requests and feedback are highly appreciated!

⇢ script form (name: lines) are the interviews

EPISODE 1

she’s sitting in between namjoon and hoseok, legs curled to her chest

she mostly stayed quiet while resting her head on namjoon’s shoulder

after talking about jimin’s hanbok, they turned to yoonmi

“miya-ssi, you want to experiment with making makeup, yes?” “that is correct” “we’ll have the materials and ingredients you need ready in a box there. the projector and projector screen you asked for will be there as well”

she clapped excitedly and thanked the staff

“i get to watch movies with mimi!” “we all do, jungkook” “me first though”

when it came to the hobbies that they wanted to try together, she raised her hand

“pdnim, is it okay if we have more of everything so we can all try out each other’s interests?” “actually, that’s a good idea”

and so she managed to get the staff to broaden their list of things to buy

before they stopped, yoonmi sat up, kicking her legs out in front of her and making hoseok jump in surprise

“can we have a trampoline? like one of those circle ones with a net?” “we’ll have that ready” “yay! okay, thank you, pdnim!”

miya: school just let out, so it felt like a summer vacation with family. i feel like we got to just let loose, and i loved it

when it came to filling the cars, she gave jungkook her 2 small luggages and her guitar, keeping her backpack, her puppy plushie, and her hamster plushie on her

she helps loading with a pout “i wanted to drive my motorcycle, but i can’t because we’re gonna be on the freeway”

namjoon patted her head and opened the door for her to go in the car

she settled in the back just as jungkook made his way into the driver’s seat

“you gonna sleep the whole ride, mimi?” “only if you don’t teach me to drive today” “... have a good sleep”

namjoon chuckled at the two and buckled his seatbelt, reminding the maknaes to do the same

she put on sunglasses and was somehow able to fold her whole body so she was curled up in her seat

“why does it sound like our guitars are breaking?” “i got them”

after fixing the guitars, she settles back into the seat and goes silent so jungkook just asks namjoon if she’s sleeping

namjoon pats her knee, and she doesn’t move “she is. i’m not surprised. she stayed up all night again”

and she somehow stays asleep despite the members both in the car with her and through the walkie talkies being talkative

you can see jungkook constantly looking in the rearview mirror to check if yoonmi’s doing okay

“aigoo, she’s already an adult, but she still looks this small?” “don’t tell her you said that, jungkookie”

she wakes up when they’re driving by the water and namjoon just “have a nice sleep, yoon-ah?” “yes, oppa”

they get off in the place they were going to stay, and she’s just walking around with two fairly big plushies in her arms

they’re walking on the field and yoonmi sees the trampoline, its net open for her to enter

“oppa, hold this,” she handed her plushies to taehyung and ran to the trampolines

the other members just stopped to watch her fondly while she did a few back tucks and aerials in the trampoline

“yoonmi-ah, you just woke up, you might get hurt” seokjin called her back and she just giggled and slipped her shoes on again and ran back to them to check out the house

she placed her plushies on the piano to have free arms

she explores the moving cameras with jungkook, eyes wide “wahhh this is so strange but so cool”

she’s skipping around, distracted to the point where yoongi had to hold her hand to keep her from straying from everyone

yoongi leads her to the tarp where she decided to just lie down on the grass nearby making yoongi chuckle while seokjin had her stand up because she was wearing a white shirt

she made her way to the hammock and wrapped herself up in there “oppas, i’ll be here if you need me”

she takes out her phone and taps a few things before paradise starts playing “mmm this is a good relaxation song”

she hears seokjin and namjoon trash talking each other after a few minutes and looks up briefly “oh, ping pong? looks like it’s about to get competitive”

she laughs to herself and puts her head back down

you don’t hear from her again until jungkook finished cooking the ramen

he walked over to the hammock and picked her up “no skipping lunch” “but i was listening to musiiiiic”

he dumps her on the chair next to yoongi and she’s just sulking while grabbing a bowl and chopsticks to get food

hoseok laughed at her actions “cute”

namjoon and seokjin bickering about pingpong while they ate and she laughs “i knew they’d get like this”

jungkook took her away to the boat house where he took out his guitar

“where’s mine?” “with all the other stuff”

she kinda just lies down on the side and stares at the ceiling while jungkook played, occasionally suggesting chords that she think would sound well with his progression

“oppa” “mm?” “should i go help sort the groceries out?” “did you sleep last night?” “... i took one second naps every ten seconds”

cue jungkook rolling his eyes and throwing her plaid shirt (which she had removed earlier) over her face “sleep, not blink”

the next cut you see of her is jungkook putting a blanket over her legs before leaving to join the other boys

when jungkook’s calling around for everyone, taehyung asks him where she is and jungkook points to the boathouse

taehyung goes in and lightly taps her side “aegi, time to go to the main house”

she nods and taehyung puts an arm around her while they walk back together

buuuut the door is locked and the other members call for a password

“lajibolala?” taehyung asked yoonmi just tilts her head “is it not rock bison?”

they let them in, and she settles into taehyung’s side

“can i sleep in the boathouse?” “okaaaaay me, yoonmi, and jungkook in the boat house!”

she grins and picks up her plushies and heads off to unpack her stuff

EPISODE 2

seokjin pops in on her after his disappointing fishing session and he sees her on her laptop, midi on right next to it

only one of her carriers were open, and seokjin could tell it was to get her blanket which currently sat across her lap

she had her headphones on and she was already working on a track

miya: i don’t know, maybe it was instinct to start working on something? i was working on something the whole night, and i guess that momentum kinda just came back *laughs* jinnie oppa stopped me though

seokjin shakes his head and squishes her cheeks together

“princess, leave that for when you’re actually bored, and start unpacking. look, you even left toph and koda on top of your bags” “okay, okay, oppa”

she saved her progress and smiled at seokjin when he handed her the two plushies

there’s a mini compilation of her setting up her stuff and unpacking with seokjin’s help

after a few clips, you see her in more comfortable clothes and walking out while braiding her hair into pigtails to see yoongi and seokjin fishing

she giggles when yoongi gets in the boat “oppa, what are you doing?” “what? it’s not like it’s illegal”

when seokjin and yoongi are on the boat, she moves to her room and pulls a book out of her backpack

the subtitles read “the most peaceful member so far” while she settles on her stomach and opens the book

jungkook checks in on her after a while “i’m gonna go fish. you good here? oh, she’s reading she can’t hear me”

sure enough she didn’t move one bit

after what looks like ⅓ of the book, she glances up “oh, a portable blender! i should make banana milk”

she goes off to the kitchen to grab some ingredients. her nose scrunches when she sees seokjin handling a fish, then she grabs some milk, bananas, cinnamon, honey, and a knife to take back to her room

she silently hums an (at the time) unfamiliar melody while cutting up the bananas and putting them into the jug

miya: i feel like you’re going to be bored with me the whole show *laughs* i live pretty quietly. so far, all i’ve done is sleep, eat, make music, read, and make banana milk. i don’t know what you’re expecting, but nothing much really happens when i’m on break

“okay, two bananas, a cup and a half of milk, and a random amount of honey and cinnamon because measuring is a construct let’s go”

she puts the lid on then screws the jug in place, pressing down on it and blending until it seemed right to her

she smiles when she’s done and gathers all her trash into a bag

she switches the lid of the jug to one without blades then brings everything but the port to the kitchen in the upper house

“did you make banana milk again? can i taste?”

jungkook comes over and takes the trash from her while talking

she opens the jug and holds it for him to take a sip before she covers it again and puts it in the fridge

“oppa,” she approached yoongi, “do you need help with dinner?” “did you rest today?” “yes” “then go ahead and cut up the vegetables i laid out over there, and be careful, princess”

eventually she ends up setting the table outside while jungkook walked behind her and played with a frog

she’s laughing at him while setting down plates “the frog is trying to have some peace”

she’s tucked between jimin and hoseok for dinner, and jimin’s just constantly adding food to her bowl

hoseok’s off to the side sneakily pouring her a shot of soju and she just giggles and takes it in thanks

she laughed along with the stories, mostly exchanging glances with jungkook

miya: the oppas were all bringing up old memories, and it was fun. i forgot we were filming. i’m usually quiet during meals, but i think i laughed a lot more on our first night than i usually do. *laughs* ggukoo oppa and i made eye contact and i’m pretty sure we remembered the same thing, but that’s a secret

she had settled in her bed pretty soon, phone on as if she were messaging someone. she made eye contact with the camera and smiled “good night”

[eyes-of-mischief]

weekly fic recs | 7

fandoms: aftg, aot, bnha, bsd, dn, hq

aftg

I’ll Be Your Angel by coritkyo

Their fathomless gazes reflected off one another. It was like holding two pitch-black mirrors in dichotomy and searching for light. Andrew had none to spare, and he urged the knife closer to Abram's throat in order to elicit another glint of fear.

Abram’s eyes sparked with the antithesis of fear. The corners of his mouth curled up into a smile sharper than Andrew’s blade.

“You’re holding it wrong,” he whispered.

Andrew suppressed a shiver.

He realized then, that after a million unanswered pleas to all the gods of every religion, his prayers had finally been answered. And yet, the office up in heaven had workers of the same quality as Andrew’s social care workers. They had mismanaged his case and made a mistake. Andrew had begged for an Angel. Instead, they sent him a demon.

[Prologue of a multi-part series]

passenger seat by reneewvlkers

(mature)

Briefly, because he knows they’ll only be in the car for another couple of minutes at absolute maximum, he watches Andrew for any break in the impassivity.

There’s the faintest twitch, which Neil assumes is Andrew registering his attention, but he’s not sure if it’s anger, embarrassment, annoyance- honestly, it could be anything. Then Andrew’s face settles. Neil doesn’t move, though, content to watch the way the passing lights change Andrew’s profile and colouring. If Neil were an artist, he thinks he’d want to paint this.

Fight or Flight by Jadelavender1301

Alex only has two more years till Nathaniel Wesnisnki is officially pronounced dead. All he has to do is stay out of trouble with the authorities until then and he will be free to start his own life, he hopes. But now on his own for the first time, his new high school recruiting for their exy team, and the senior Andrew Minyard trying his best to get involved with as many authorities as possible, it doesn’t seem like it will be easy.

aot

Flying Free by gremlinwriter

(mature) (graphic depictions of violence)

Eren knew there were a lot of rules he had to stick to. No one could find out the truth about his kind, he had to be careful at all times and that his job was to take out the mindless-murderous Titans with his friends. Until he happened upon a group of riders from one of the cities, most of them already slaughtered and he decided to save what lives he could, not only once, but twice.

bnha

headcase (the color of boom) by carthaginian_berries

People don’t really know this, and Denki doesn’t really make it a point to advertise it either, but he almost always feels absolutely, entirely, unequivocally insane.

Like, not in the sort of I think I’m going to snap and kill everyone in the room. Definitely not when he’s tucked in Sero’s hammock like a leaf-wrapped banana slug delicacy, staring at the ceiling and counting all the ways to turn the projected red sketches of the digital clock into all the various numbers and letters, but —

“I think,” Denki says eloquently, with the utmost sincerity, “that there might be something wrong with me.”

or: kaminari’s been going insane since the day he turned six, yet no one at yuuei ever seems to notice except himself.

the lies you tell yourself by TheHangedMan317

(mature) (graphic depictions of violence)

Izuku has always had a strange relationship with fear. He realized, after his quirks began to manifest in their entirety, that the daring he'd known in his youth wasn’t bravery, but an ignorance that masked itself as certainty.

He was afraid. All the time. But so was everyone, and that was where things really started to get interesting, wasn’t it?

Or, when an incident at home leaves Midoriya Izuku motherless and homeless, disillusioned with hero society and just wanting an escape from it all, he falls into the hands of All for One. Things only get worse from there.

bsd

nothing's fair in love and war by writedeku

Dazai spreads his hands apart. “It’s a pleasure to see you too, Akutagawa-kun. We haven’t done anything insidious to Atsushi-kun,” he taps a finger to his lips — damn, did Atsushi learn that from him or did Dazai pick it up from him — and shrugs his shoulders. It’s a fluid movement. “I think he just found someone he hates more than the Port Mafia.”

Akutagawa is miffed and mildly jealous. “Excuse me?”

and all i loved, i loved alone by featherx

(mature) (graphic depictions of violence)

“An ability?”

— on the past, present, and future of one Edgar Allan Poe.

death note

A Tithe to Hell by Aja

(explicit)

Light has thirteen days to find out how it will feel--not just to kill, but to destroy.

shame is pride's cloak by youremyqueen

(explicit)

The one where Light surrenders, hands over the death note, gets his driver's license, learns to make puff pastry, and doesn't kill anybody: all under one small caveat.

Disordered by Rachello344

Light and L meet in a long term care facility as roommates. Despite Light's initial dislike, the two become friends, and together, they work on recovering.

haikyuu

In Another Castle by thehoyden

(explicit)

Kenma feels his face go hot. People have to be looking at them. They’re having a fight in front of a real estate agency. But he doesn’t look away, and musters the courage to say, “Kuro, I want you to live with me.”

[austajunk]

For the ask thing 22, 67, 84, and 91 :)

22.) Favorite Random/Unessacary Moment?

Off the top of my head? It’s a tie between Kazuichi telling Hajime that they are matching banana hammocks in Ch 2 of DR2 and Chiaki’s “troll fail” of Chapter 3.

Oh and when all three Ultimate Assholes (Byakuya, Nagito, and Kokichi) tell the male protagonist to lick their shoes/bow down randomly.

Talk about mood whiplash!

67.) What Do You Think Of The Fandom?

It’s honestly a mixed bag. On tumblr, it’s been pretty legit. I’m really late to the fandom and I’m super glad my silly blog gets a lot of attention. I love making KomaHinaNami content. On Instagram and Tik Tok, it’s a big rougher. I’ve received a good amount of hate for ships and such. But hey… that’s just fandoms in general, I think. Otherwise, everyone’s been super nice.

84.)Character as Antagonist Headcannon?

Would it be fabulous if Chiaki was more villainous and manipulative like Nagito? God that would rule. Just the both of them giving Hajime the run around. I’m still so fond of the idea of her as Remnant of Despair. The sweet and socially awkward have become the evil…

91.)Favorite Fanfiction

I actually haven’t had a chance to read any fics. I do lots of fanart and fics myself and I work a full time job. But hey if anyone had some KomaNami, KomaHina, SouMaeda, KamuNami or KomaHinaNami to recommend me…

Also I ready smutty doushinjis. You’d be surprised the level of love that goes into the KomaHina ones. So intimate <3

[killian-whump]

Game Night! [Liveblog #3]

Aaaaaaand we’re back! Let’s jump right back into the action with the next drawing in the Drawful game...

Wow. That’s... Wow. I feel like that pen isn’t helping Kat as much as you’d think it might 😂 Is that a foot? A stomach? A stomach-foot? “That looks painful,” Sam says. The players are guessing. Sammy takes this moment to remind everyone that Colin is in the lead. “Pretty significantly,” she adds. Colin is nodding proudly in his little box on the side of the screen. “How many points has he got?” Sam asks. “A lot,” Sammy answers helpfully. Colin is still nodding. Now he’s shrugging it off with a smug grin. I can’t handle him right now.

Sammy: He’s got, I think, 2000. Sam: How many have I got? Sammy: Not 2000.

The guesses come up: “diseased foot” “zombie foot” “smelly footsie” and “athlete’s foot - josh’s foot”. I’M LOOKING AT YOU, SAM. THIS IS WHY YOU DON’T HAVE 2000 POINTS, SAM. Colin’s guess was “zombie foot” and two other players voted for it, so I think he’s gonna do well this round. “I like smelly footsie,” Colin says. “I think that’s a good one.” Yet... he didn’t vote for it. He voted for Sam’s guess with the “josh’s foot” on it 😂

Oooh... Colin’s up to 3000 points now, and Sam’s up to 2500! “It’s getting close now,” Colin says. And it’s time for his drawing...

Remember guys: He went to art school. I have no idea what this is. Actually, that’s a lie. I think I know what it is from seeing other Colin fans’ cryptic comments that didn’t make sense without having watched the video. BUT... were it not for that, I probably would be guessing, like... triple french hammock? XD But the coloring (not pertinent) and the xxx and the hammock also make me wanna guess banana hammock 😂

“I think I saw this one hanging in the Louvre,” Josh says.

The guesses come up and Colin’s grinning again. “artsy fartsy hammock” is my new favorite thing, so thanks whoever did that. The other answers are “french open” “sexy hammock” and “french tennis?” (stop putting question marks, Kat, they’re a dead giveaway). “It is a sexy hammock,” Sam says. “That’s true.”

And it IS... a Sexy Hammock. "Are you kidding?” Sam asks. “There’s no such thing as a sexy hammock,” Josh says. “Well, there is,” Sammy says. “That’s what it is.” “It’s right there,” says Colin.

TIME FOR ROUND 2!! The players are drawing again. “I do not have the skill set for this,” Josh says. “I don’t even understand this game,” Sam says. Colin’s drawing very seriously again. “You’re all artists,” Sammy reminds them all. I’m not sure that’s true, but okay.

Colin finishes drawing and chuckles to himself. “That was a laugh of confidence,” Josh says. “I'm not fully convinced it was, to be honest,” Colin says. “I don’t think that was a laugh of confidence.”

“By the end of this, I’ll be looking for a bottle of Sam’s whiskey to down,” Colin says. “That’s the prize,” Sam says. “You’ll get one.” Sam says he’s halfway through the bottle Colin sent him. I love Colin’s friendships 💗

Okay! Time for the drawings! First is another one from Josh:

Sam says what everyone’s thinking right now: “This is a little X-rated, right?” and then, “What is that? I mean, what is that?” “What is the rating on this game, Josh?” Kat asks. Josh says it’s X, and encourages them to “go for it” with their guesses.

The guesses come in: “cropdusting a party” “Africa” “antebellum south” and “lonely testicle” 😂 I expected four testicle answers, honestly. I’m disappointed in everyone that didn’t put in a testicle answer. It’s clearly the right answer, even if it isn’t the right answer. Josh says it’s funny, because “lonely testicle” was his nickname in high school. “It does look lonely, doesn’t it?” Sam asks.

“Lonely testicle” was Colin’s guess, and I honestly couldn’t be prouder or more assured that I’ve made the right choice in being his fan. Josh missed it on the screen, though, and asks: “Who said lonely testicle?”

“Cropdusting a Party” was the actual prompt! “How do you draw that?” Josh asks. “Well, you definitely don’t draw it like that,” Colin says, and my love for him only grows.

“Colin’s still wildly in the lead,” Sammy announces. And he is. He’s got 4500 points now. Sam and Josh are tied for second place with 3000.

Next up is Sam’s drawing...

I think he’s given up on this game, lol. “I wrote my guess,” Josh laughs. “And it says my guess is too close to the real title.” “I’m pretty pleased with that,” Sam says. I’m now dying to know what the prompt is.

Guesses are in: “Sarcasm” “Sarcasm by Sam” “Sadly not the truth” and “a lie” 😂 THOSE ARE ALL THE SAME DAMN THING Since everybody guessed his drawing correctly, Sam raked in a lot of points. Colin’s still in the lead, though! He’s got 6000 to Sam’s 5000. Time for Kat’s drawing:

“Mmm, that’s beautiful,” Sam says. “That’s just... amazing.” “I-Is that it?” Colin asks. “So judgey,” Josh says. Colin laughs. “Sorry,” he says. “I get competitive. Sorry.” I seriously can’t handle him, you guys, he’s apologizing 😂 Sam asks, “Have you been playing this during lockdown, Colin? Is that why you’re so good at this?” “That’s literally all I’ve been doing,” Colin says.

The guesses are in: “deathbed” “torture device” “a shallow grave” and “pooping on a pinball machine” which is now my new new favorite thing. “Whoever did the pinball machine deserves to win,” Sam declares. It was Josh’s guess, and he wants it on the record that Sam said that. The actual prompt was “a shallow grave”.

Colin didn’t get ANY points this round! He’s still at 6000, but Sam is inching closer with 5500! And it’s time for another Colin drawing...

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I have no idea what this is. It’s hilarious, though. Y-fronts on a TV screen. He clearly got the BEST prompts. “Colin’s Y-fronts on TV,” Sam guesses aloud.

Josh: Yeah, this isn’t fun and games for at least one of us. Colin: I’m in it to win! :D

Okay, the guesses are in... “pointillism” “underpants channel” “underwear advertisement” and “old timey drooling tv” (what?). Again, I say, Colin got the BEST prompts, lol 😂 And the actual prompt was Underpants Channel - and Colin raked in a TON of points for people picking the right answer, guaranteeing he’s won this game 🎉

Sammy: The winner is Colin! Sam: Whaaat the hell? Sammy: And the person who got the most likes, the most brownie points is...

WE STAN A WINNER, YOU GUYS. A WINNER!!! 😂

“Thank you guys, thank you,” Colin says. Josh and Kat are just laughing. Sam is having an all-out existential dilemma in the bottom right corner.

“I’m super depressed,” says Sam.

“Do you guys have time for one more game?” Josh asks. Kat says yeah. Colin says yeah, with a blood-thirsty eager gleam in his eyes. “If I can win,” Sam says.

Will he win? Or will Colin sweep both games? We shall see... in the next installment of Game Night!!!

[ladybirdanimalsanctuary]

Available for adoption: Diablo, Diaval, Henry, King Stefan, Merlin, Prince Phillip, and Samson! On November 2nd, 2021, Ladybird rescue Maleficent gave birth to seven babies. On November 12th, Maleficent's sister, Madam Mim, gave birth to 4 babies. They raised their babies together, and after being given a clean bill of health at the vet, everyone is ready to find their forever homes! Since the babies from both litters were raised as a group, we kept the males from both litters together when they were separated from their mom and the female babies. Diablo, Diaval, Henry, King Stefan, Merlin, Prince Phillip, and Samson are sweet and curious babies, and though they are friendly, they’re not thrilled about being handled. They would benefit from an adopter who has time to spend with them to help them bond to their humans. The boys love to chase each other in play, and then snuggle in their hammock, or under blankets for naps. We’re asking they be adopted as pairs or trios. A single rat is a lonely rat! Favourite snacks are broccoli, banana, and kale. Please adopt Diablo, Diaval, Henry, King Stefan, Merlin, Prince Phillip, and Samson! Visit our website to apply: ladybirdanimalsanctuary.com . . #ladybirdanimalsanctuary #lookwhatlovecando #hamont #hamilton #animalrescue #rescue #rescued #rescuedanimals #adoptdontshop #dontshopadopt #foster #fostering #rat #rats #ratsofinstagram #ratlife #ratstagram #donate #give #animalcharity #helpbuildthefarm #adopt #adoptable #availableforadoption #samson #princephillip #merlin #kingstefan #diaval #diablo https://www.instagram.com/p/CYh1mD6loxQ/?utm_medium=tumblr

[needs-to-stop-looking-at-yigas]

Could we get another Miphlink/Yiga Husbands double date?? I can't get over how much I love the way you write them! 😅

Thank you! I do in fact, love writing them all, including Mipha, who is JUST precious! (also yes to that one anon, you’re getting that smut of them you wanted, I’m getting there. 20 asks don’t get responded to overnight).

“Mipha, lil’ red, how’ve you been?!”

Kohga and Sooga were invited to come over for another double date. It was Mipha’s turn to pick what to do, and she had a rather interesting idea; learning how to make drinks. That was it. Kohga might have thought something like clothes making, maybe even searching for seashells or watching Link do his training. Not that Kohga was complaining, he loved an excuse to drink. Mipha accepted his offer for a hug, just delighted to see him.

“Kohga, Sooga! My dear friends! How are you both?”

Mipha parted from the hug, and offered Sooga her hand. She learned a long time ago that he didn’t exactly enjoy touching women, so she always offered her hand, in case he didn’t want to be touched. He refused it this time around, lightly bowing his head in apology.

“I’m quite well, Lady Mipha. Didn’t think I’d be carrying so much alcohol on my back though.”

Kohga scoffed, arms folded across his chest.

“What? You expect ME to carry it?”

“No Master Kogha, I just-”

“Anyhow, he’s just whiny because it’s an indoor date. I’m SO ready to teach you how to make some drinks! Where’s your little boyfriend anyway?”

“He’s inside, helping me set out the snacks.”

Sooga cocked his head to the side.

“Should...you have left HIM near the food?”

She thought about it for a moment, and realized her mistake.

“Er...pardon me for a moment.”

She dashed back inside, and Kohga chuckled. Sooga looked down at Kohga, and he could NOT stop smiling. Kohga noticed it, and scowled.

“What’s so funny?”

“You call ME such a lovesick sap. Yet here you are, fawning over their love. You’re such a hypocrite.”

“You know what, get your ass inside, I’m not listening to you.”

Sooga chuckled as Kohga nagged him into talking inside. Mipha had her own room in Zora’s domain, but quite frankly, it was like a mini mansion. A giant bedroom, a kitchen, and a living room, all to herself. No doubt it was built for her purely because everyone LOVED her, not that she needed such space. Kohga liked it here though, it was DAMN pretty in here, even though red was his personal favorite color. Kohga closed the door behind them as he dipped his head into the kitchen. Mipha was scolding Link (if you would call her gentle ‘please save food for the guests’ scolding), when she seemed to just now notice them, smiling as she brought over bowls of snacks to the living room.

“Sorry, Link ate most of the fried salmon skins. He really does enjoy my cooking.”

Sooga gave a shake of his head.

“It’s alright, he may have them. Kohga always makes me shower after I eat fish.”

“Because that smell just does NOT go away! How am I supposed to cop a feel when you smell like a doc?”

Link didn’t have any complaints, grabbing the bowl and helping himself to the rest of the salmon skins, nodding at them both in a hello. Mipha chuckled, slightly shaking her head.

“So long as that isn’t an issue for anyone, I would’ve gladly made some more for you, Sooga.”

“Kind, but not needed Mipha, thank you. If I may though, can I put this bag down? I’d hate to accidentally break any bottles.”

“Oh yes, please, on the coffee table!”

Sooga nodded, going to the living room and putting the rather big back of alcohol down onto the table. Mipha brought a little cart full of snacks (including sauteed nuts, honey candies, meaty rice balls, bread and butter, tabantha bakes, and banana chips), pushing it right by the table before she sat down next to Link on one of the couches. Kohga whistled at the rather cute array of treats she had.

“You didn’t have to make so much, Mipha! That’s sweet of you, but I wouldn’t want you putting so much work into this.”

“You agreed to teach us all about making drinks, providing you food is the least I can do! I also have some cake in the fridge, in case we need something else sweet.”

“Ugh, you’re precious Mipha, you really are. Blondie, don’t lose this one, she’s a good one.”

Link nodded in determination, and in a way, Mipha found it adorable. Kohga started to take out the bottles from the pack, setting it all down. Now Kohga wasn’t an alcoholic by any means, but he did like having variety in his drinks, hence why he had QUITE the stock. Mipha leaned over to the tray of snacks, helping herself to a meaty rice ball. Even as she was stuffing her little face, she was being so neat about it, just as the princess she was. Sooga meanwhile, sat up straight and to attention, as usual, not letting himself relax.

“So, what drinks ARE we making today, Master Kohga?”

“Let’s start with Mipha’s. Ladies first and all of that. I know which one you like, I NEVER forget a drink order. Don’t think you’ve ever seen me make drinks actually, so this should be fun.”

Kohga was always fast when it came to making drinks of food. It took him pretty much only a minute to cut fruit, salt the rim (of course he brought his own glasses), pour the ice, juice, vodka and stir. Sure it was a simple drink, but the speed was nonetheless impressive. He handed her the glass, and she gladly accepted it, handing the rest of her rice ball to Link. She took a sip, and although she tried to hide it, he could tell she enjoyed it, based on the way her lips curled into a little bit of a smile.

“I always thought it was so much more complicated than that, quite frankly.”

“Honestly, ANY drink is easy, once you know what you’re doing. Sooga, your turn big guy.”

“I don’t think we packed wine.”

“We didn’t, because that’s boring. That, and I like the fact that you watch my hands when I make these.”

Kohga nudged him with his shoulder, trying and failing not to grin. Sooga knew he was right, he LOVED watching him make things. Be it food, drinks, or...well, anything really. Kohga dug into the bag, pulling out a bunch of stuff. Sooga cocked his head to the side, curious.

“Wait, what are you making-”

“Shh, you’ll like it, trust me.”

In a tall glass, Kohga poured a container of some kind of syrup, adding some wild berries right after. He mashed them up, added a bit of some red liquid, and topped it off with ice cream, and a dash of soda. Sooga picked up the glass, inspecting the rather colorful drink.

“What...is this?”

“It’s a float, just try it. I even made it low alcohol, because you’re a pansy.”

Sooga gave it a sip, and slowly nodded, finding himself rather liking it.

“That’s quite nice, actually. Sweet, but bitter. How did you get the ice cream to stay-”

“Don’t ask questions, and just enjoy. Meanwhile, let’s get to refilling your glass Mipha, you’re all ice over there.”

Mipha looked down at her glass, lightly shaking her head.

“Oh no, I couldn’t possibly. One is more than enough.”

“Come on, you ain’t swimmin’ anywhere. Just one more?”

Mipha hesitated, but chuckled in defeat, handing him her glass.

“Alright. But just one more, then that’s it.”

“Atta girl!”

He chuckled, gladly setting her up with another drink. He had to at this point, who wouldn’t make a drink for their hostess? Especially with the way the snacks seemed to slowly be disappearing. Kohga rested his chin on his hand as he looked at Link.

“Now...what would YOU like, I wonder. Don’t think I’ve ever seen you drink, Goldilocks.”

Link gave a shake of his head, stuffing his face full of buttered bread. Kohga thought about it, before snapping his fingers.

“Wait, I got just the thing for you!”

Link had only just recently become of drinking age, so he wasn’t exactly a booze hound. Not a problem, Kohga catered to anyone and everyone, experience be damned. Kohga started to two different kinds of rum, some vodka, lemonade, and some black currant cordial. He mixed it all together, and slid it over to Link.

“Like it? It’s a ‘pink fairy’. Seems like something you’d like. Bit on the strong for some, but hey go big or big home. Now drink, drink!"

Link took a sip, lightly shaking his head after his sip. Kohga chuckled, leaning over and patting him on his pretty blonde head.

"You'll get used to it, blondie. Just-"

"Link, drink swap."

Mipha traded their drinks (with hers definitely having a lot less), and Link more or less accepted the swap. Mipha chuckled after taking a sip, leaning over to pinch Link's cheek.

"It's adorable, your first drink! You're just. So cute, Link."

Link's face erupted in blush, and he rubbed the back of his head, shy boy he was. Sooga pulled out his Sheikah slate as Kohga made his own drink (banana hammock, obviously), and started to play a song, playing it at a reasonable volume. Mipha seemed pleased as the music played, and she squealed, grabbing onto Link’s arm and flailing her legs wildly.

“Link! Oh I LOVE this music! You HAVE to dance with me! Please please pleeeeease!”

Drunk Mipha was a TOTAL dance bunny, and paired without the usual shyness, it was adorable, honestly. Link finished whatever was left of the drink, and nodded. Link was never one to tell his girl no, and it showed. They both got off of the couch, choosing to get up and dance together. The music wasn’t quick, wasn’t slow, but it enough to give a relaxed party vibe to the room, and Kohga couldn’t help but chuckle, nursing his drink as he watched his drunk little fishy get her groove on.

“You did that on purpose didn’t you?”

“I have no idea what you mean. I just like a little postmodern music. Nice tune.”

“Sap.”

“Enabler.”

They both had a chuckle at that, sitting back and watching these two idiots. Drunk Mipha had a little swagger to her, and Link knew fairly well how to dance. Enough so, he managed to dip her, just to kiss her on her forehead.

“That’s bullshit cute. Can’t say I blame her, boys got moves. He-”

He didn’t get to finish his sentence as Mipha started to tug at his arm, chuckling and swaying in place.

“Come on you two! Can’t just be me and Link up here! Dance with me Kohga!”

“Hey, if you wanna look bad, your funeral, fishy!”

Kohga tossed back the rest of the drink, before trading Link, and getting his chance to dance with Mipha. Link watched Mipha nearly giggle herself half to death, before he offered his hand to Sooga. He rolled his eyes, taking another sip of his drink.

“I suppose Kohga would just scold me if I refused. Alright.”

He accepted his hand, and joined him right next to Mipha and Kohga. It was half hearted, not very well done dancing, but that didn’t matter. All that mattered was that they were having fun, chuckles and giggles moving around the room, just as much as their feet were. Even Sooga had to admit; he was having fun. He swapped partners with Kohga, now dancing with a very enthusiastic Mipha. Thankfully, he wasn’t scared enough to NOT twirl the little princess in place, catching her before her dizziness nearly made her fall to the floor. She cared not at all, laughing it off rather loudly.

“Ha! You’re just like Link! Ever the sweetheart, Sooga.”

“I’d say he’s a lot more like Kohga, quite frankly.”

He chuckled, glancing over at Kohga and Link, who were having just WAY too much fun together. Mipha giggled, getting herself to stand back up.

“You love Kohga SO much, oh my GOD its so sweet. I cry thinking about you guys sometimes, it’s SO sweet. You guys NEED to get married. I wanna see it, so bad.”

“Kohga WOULD look good in a dress, I agree.”

“Thought that’d be you. You have the tits for it.”

“...pardon-”

“Oh switch time!”

Their partners swapped, and suddenly Kohga was in his arms. Not that he had any complaints. Kohga laughed as he held onto Sooga, still keeping in tune to the song.

“Good call on the swap, any longer and I might’ve stolen her mans. I’m telling you, he’s into me.”

“Not anymore than me, Master Kohga.”

“Is that a fact?”

“Absolutely. I can prove it too.”

Sooga leaned down, parted their masks a bit, and pressed his lips against Kohga’s. It was a sweet, tender moment between them, and even though it wasn’t an outdoorsy date, Sooga wouldn’t trade it for anything.

“Link!-”

They both turned to watch Link trip over himself, sending himself falling on top of Mipha, who fell backwards onto the couch. They both shared a laugh, and it was tender, watching Mipha hold onto Link’s face as she did.

“Oh...you’re a big, silly man, Link. I love you. You and your soft face, and your big elephant ears.”

They both snorted at that, forehead pressed together. Sooga looked down at Kohga, who was clearly amused at them both.

“Kohga?”

“Hmm?”

“Did you...think it would end up like this?”

“Well yeah, they’re nuts for each other-”

“No. I mean...everything. Us being together, the world being as perfect as it is now. Did you see that coming?”

“...no. But you know, I’m really glad things ended up how they did. All of it.”

Kohga put his hand into Sooga’s, chuckling. There was a sweet, blissful moment of tenderness between them, before Sooga spoke again.

“You want to grab everything in the fridge and leave them be?”

“Absolutely, been thinking about the cake this whole time.”

[incorrectsmashbrosquotes]

Roster Picture

Peach: OK, listen up everyone! I’m sure you all got the flyer I made reminding everyone of the annual group picture. I need to know by a show of hands how many of you aren’t gonna be able to make it.

(Everyone raises their hands.)

Peach: Oh, come on! Aren’t you guys embarrassed by our last three staff pictures?

(Peach points to three pictures on a shelf. Each picture has fewer and fewer people in it, with the last only having Peach and Wario, in his banana hammock.)

Peach: Zelda. I’m gonna need a little bit of your church enthusiasm to help sell this.

(Peach and Zelda step up on chairs.)

Peach: Dammit, everyone, we are a family.

Zelda: [very exaggerated] A family, people!

Peach: And I know we love each other.

Zelda: [very exaggerated] Love is all we got!

Peach: So can’t we just take ten minutes from our day to take a real staff photo?

(Zelda picks up a tambourine and begins dancing. Mario begins clapping and Samus dances, too.)

Zelda: [singing] Yes, we can! Yes, we can!

Peach: Tambourine’s a little much, Zelda.

Samus: Peach, I don’t photograph well. On my Hunter’s license I look like Gary Busey.

Eggman: I am gonna let big Dr Wily here give the first excuse.

Dr Wily: Blah, blah, blah, I’m not doing it.

Eggman: I’m caught on his collar!

(Eggman and Dr. Wily exit.)

Peach: This picture is happening!

Doomguy: No it’s not.

Peach: Oh, what do you know, shot jock?

Doomguy: I’ve predicted a couple of things over the years. The kitchen fire of ‘97, the kitchen fire of '98, the arson conviction of Luis the fry cook, and of course, the eventual termination of the mansion’s Convicts to Cooks program. Bottom line? Not gonna happen.

Mario: [singing with Zelda’s tambourine] Not gonna happen! No, not gonna happen, ha, ha! Not gonna hap–

(Mario stops and puts down the tambourine seeing Peach’s withering look.)

Mario: By the way, uh, I won’t be at the picture either

(Mario exits.)

Zelda: [to herself] You’ll be there. You’ll all be there.

-Later that Day-

Mario: Where’s the pasta truck? I was texedt there was a pasta track out here!

Samus: I got a text there was a Pichu adoption drive!

Wario: Where’s the free-money booth?

Sonic: It’s weird. It’s like everyone was lured out here by the thing they want most in the world.

Eggman: [arriving running, seeing Sonic] Hey! You’re not getting your ass kicked!

Dr. Wily: Hold the phone… look! Bleachers! Ladder! Bucket of combs! She’s trying to take the picture! Scatter! [everybody runs away]

Peach: [standing on the top of a ladder] Nobody move! Zelda, door!

Zelda: [standing on the threshold of the mansion’s entrance, holding a broom] Nobody’s getting past here, baby!

Cut to bleachers. The whole roster is posed for the staff picture.)

Peach: OK, everybody, one, two…

(Cut to roof. Doomguy points a mirror at the camera lens on “three,” blinding the camera.)

Doomguy: …and, three.

-Some time later Peach is lamenting over the ruined picture-

Doomguy: Aww, either your picture didn’t come out, or we got a mansion full of vampire’s… Besides Alucard.

Peach: I don’t know why you did it, but I know it was you.

Doomguy: How?

Peach: Because it’s always you.

Doomguy: It’s not always me.

(Dr. Wily rushes by on roller skates, which he was evidently unaware of when he started walking.)

Dr. Wily: GAAAAH-AAAH-AAAH!!!

(He crashes into a cart.)

Dr. Wily: Who the hell put tiny wheels on my shoes?!

Doomguy: Well, that’s his fault. He took a nap in the lounge.

Peach: Why would you ruin this for me? I mean, I didn’t even ask you to be there.

Doomguy: Imagine that: I’ve been apart of gaming mythology for 27 years and I guess I don’t rate as part of the family.

Peach: [surprised] Did you wanna be in the picture?

Doomguy: No… it’s just… who… it’s I… I gotta go.

(Wily rolls past again, this time in control)

Dr. Wily: I actually love these.

Peach: How was I supposed to know Doomguy had feelings? 

-After catching up to him-

Peach: Hey. I want you to be in the picture.

(Doomguy looks around to see that no-one is watching, then picks up Peach in a hug and shakes her around, before finally putting her down.)

Peach: I thought you were trying to kill me.

Doomguy: I fought the urge.

-Cut to outside where everyone is assembled for another staff picture. Doomguy is wearing a tie-

Peach: How did you get all these people to come out here?

Doomguy: Fear.

Peach: OK, everybody, one, two, three!