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kohanayaki · 3 years ago

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.:Time and Time Again:. (Marauders Era x Reader) Ch 6

You continue the tale of how you, James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter became known as The Marauders.

LINKS: CH 1 CH 2 CH 3 CH 4 CH 5 CH 6 CH 7 CH 8

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Ch 6 .:The Making of the Marauders:.

~Previously~

“That was when they were first starting to put the map together,” you continued, “but that wasn't even the biggest secret they had. Of course, I wouldn't find out about that for another year. . .”

“So at this point I knew that they were hiding something else, but not what it was,” you told Harry, continuing on with your story, “But one night we had planned to meet up and use the invisibility cloak to map out the underground tunnels that ran through the storage cellars, and they never showed up. So I snuck into the Gryffindor common room through the secret passage and found their dorm completely empty. But what was there was our work in progress map. . .”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 1975 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“This isn't going to work,” Peter said flatly, watching James and Sirius draw a large circle in chalk on the floor of the Shrieking Shack.

“Not with that attitude it's not,” James said, “if there's a way we can speed up this process I'm willing to give it a go. I don't know how long I can go on with this bloody leaf in my mouth.”

“Is this even real?” Peter sighed, “it looks like what muggles think magic is.”

“It's real all right,” Sirius said, “old, but real. I mean, Transfiguration was founded on the principles of magic circles! I'm not really sure what these runes on the side mean, but it's probably not important.”

“I seriously doubt that,” Peter retorted, “Remus, back me up here.”

He turned towards Lupin, but he had long since dozed off, arms crossed as he leaned against one of the nearly decaying walls in the corner. Peter sighed, taking a piece of paper from the ground and crumpling it into a ball before promptly throwing it in the sleeping boy's face. Lupin jolted awake, realizing what had happened and chucking the paper back at Peter in annoyance.

“Not a moment of peace,” he huffed under his breath.

“Sounds awfully boring,” James said over his shoulder.

“Blimey, what time is it?” Remus said, panicked as he noticed the light had completely gone from the sky, “It's long past sundown.”

“So?” Sirius shrugged.

“So, we told (Y/n) we'd meet them to work on the map at dusk,” Remus said, “They're probably looking for us right now!”

“Oh, they are,” you announced your presence, an unimpressed look on your face as they jumped, whipping around to look at you.

“(Y-Y/n)!” Sirius stuttered, “how did you—”

You held up the map, raising a brow at the four guilty looking boys.

“Right. . .”

“You snuck into our rooms?!” James said incredulously as he saw the map, which he was sure he had left on his bedside table, in your hands.

“You've snuck into my shower before, Potter,” you glared lightly at him.

“Point taken.”

“Okay, look, I'm sorry we didn't show tonight, and I know we've been acting weird,” Sirius sighed, “the truth is—”

“Lupin's a werewolf.”

The color drained from Remus' face, slightly mortified that you already knew.

“Come on, guys,” you said, “the claw marks and you lot disappearing whenever there's a full moon kind of gave it away. You aren't exactly subtle about it.”

You could sense the intense nervousness in the room, especially from Remus. Ok, so maybe coming right out with it wasn't the best course of action.

“Look,” you said, “if you're worried about anyone else finding out, they won't. I mean, the only reason I even knew you were here is because I'm literally helping you make a magical map that details all the secret passages and shows where everyone is. I won't tell anyone, I swear.”

They still seemed a little unsure, and you bit the inside of your lip slightly.

“If it'll make us even, I'll let you know a secret of my own,” you said, “it can even be future blackmail me if you really don't trust me.”

“No, it's not that, (Y/n),” Remus said as he stepped forward, his throat feeling dry, “it's just, well, I've never really told anyone except the people in this room. Having someone else know. . . it's just a lot to process, but if had to be anyone I'm glad it's you.” He paused for a moment, feeling oddly self-conscious as he regarded you. “When I turn into a werewolf I can't recognize any human as someone I know. I have no control over myself in that state. In the worst case scenario, I could injure or even kill someone I didn't mean to. We originally started taking note of the secret passages and rooms to find a place where I could turn safely and not hurt anyone, and we settled on here. I don't remember much when I come out of it, but. . . I do feel this painful sense of separation each time. Werewolves are pack creatures by nature, so being isolated in that state is. . . agony, if I must be honest. They all figured, I can't recognize humans, but perhaps I could recognize other animals, so. . .”

“They're trying to become animagi,” you finished, “so you won't have to be alone. That's. . . that's actually really sweet,” you said, a breathy laugh escaping you.

Remus thanked Merlin the Shrieking Shack was as dimly lit as it was so his beet red face was at least somewhat less noticeable.

“I agree,” Remus said, turning to his friends and sharing a rare, genuine moment with them. “And, you don't have to tell us your secret,” he said, turning back to you, “it's okay.”

“Hey, I wanted to know,” Sirius said, Peter swiftly elbowing him in the ribs.

“I was actually planning on telling you anyways,” you said, “If you guys are trying to become animagi, I can help you.”

You took a few steps back, bracing yourself against the wall.

“Promise me you won't freak out.”

After receiving a few quick nods, you kicked off the wall. Your body seemed to morph in mid-air, shrinking and re-configuring so fast that by the time you landed on the floor you had been entirely replaced by a large, (e/c)-eyed wolf with fur reminiscent of your hair.

Peter yelped, instinctively putting Sirius in front of him who was gawking at the sight. Remus was in complete shock and you could have sworn you saw James' glasses slip down his face.

In your animal form your heightened senses could sense their fear, and you tried your best to assuage it. You padded around in a circle, sitting down and blinking up at them to try and show them you were in control of your actions. After you figured they'd seen enough, you crawled back into your robes, which had pooled on the floor when you'd transfigured, and willed your body to turn back.

James, Sirius, and Peter looked somewhere in the intersection of shocked and terrified, but Remus looked nothing less than impressed.

“That's amazing, (Y/n),” he said breathlessly, “your transformation was seamless, how long have you had this ability?”

“My aunt had me go through the process when I was nine,” you said, a bitter edge to your voice as you fastened your clothes back around you, “it's not fun, but obviously useful. And thank you, but trust me, it didn't come at all naturally to me. I spent a good part of my winter break stuck with a wolf's hind legs, which is just as inconvenient as it sounds.”

“But this proves that it's possible!” James said, a new rush of energy invigorating him, “we can actually pull this off.”

“If I can manage to keep this sodding leaf from choking me every ten minutes,” Peter grumbled.

“Here, this should help with that,” you said, drawing your wand and pointing it at Peter's mouth. With a simple sticking charm, he suddenly felt the odd sensation of the leaf in his mouth disappearing, only to find it had melded with the flesh on the underside of his tongue.

“It's a long process, but yes, it's possible,” you said to James. Your eyes drifted to the floor where the magic circle and pages of runes were still scattered about, “if you were thinking of taking shortcuts, you might have wanted to read the warning about this spell requiring a blood sacrifice.”

The quartet paled and you laughed at their dumbstruck expressions.

“Kidding,” you grinned, “but seriously, there's no shortcuts. Now look alive, boys. We have a lot of work to do.”

_________________________________________________________

From then on, you helped the four wizards along on their quest to become fully fledged shifters.

“In order to become an animagus, a wizard must keep a Mandrake leaf in their mouth for an entire month, even when eating and sleeping,” Peter read aloud from the book they'd snatched from the restricted section, “Next, under a full moon, the wizard must place the leaf in a vial full of dew that has neither been stepped on nor exposed to the sun. The resulting potion must be stored in a dark place, and the following incantation: Amato Animo Animato Animagus, must be recited every morning until an electrical storm arrives, at which point the potion can be taken.”

“Blimey, all that to turn into a bloody cat?” Sirius said, exasperated.

“Well we have the first part almost done,” James said, feeling the faintest outline of the leaf still under his tongue, “Next full moon we'll have to go dew-hunting, I suppose. Looks like you'll have to stick it out for a few more cycles, Moony,” he said to Remus.

“That's alright,” he said, “I've made it this far.”

“He won't be alone for those,” you said, “I'll spend the full moons with him until you guys are ready.”

“What?” James said, looking at you like you'd just told him you were off to join Voldemort, “not a chance, that's way too dangerous.”

“Aw, don't act like you're all concerned about me all of a sudden, Potter,” you smirked. When his expression didn't change it took you aback slightly. He was actually worried about you. “Look, I'm probably the best suited for it anyways,” you said, coughing a bit to coast through the awkward tension, “Remus and I are both wolves, or at least partly. If one of you end up turning into a sheep or something you might be dead meat, not to freak you out or anything.”

“That's reassuring,” Sirius said under his breath.

____________________________________________________________

“You really don't have to do this,” Lupin insisted as you sat on the floor together in the Shrieking Shack later that month.

“I want to,” you assured him, “take it as a thanks for helping me pass Arithmancy. Besides, it's a perfectly fine excuse for me to practice interacting with other animals in my animagus form.”

The boy beside you was quiet for a moment, shoulders tense and jaw set tight. It wasn't that he wasn't happy you were here, he was more grateful than you could know, but he was terrified that he was going to end up hurting you. On top of that was the fact that he didn't want you to see him as he transformed. It wasn't pretty, and it was visibly painful. He didn't want you to think any lower of him, though he knew that fear was irrational.

The calming jazz record that spun on the other side of the room was the only noise between you two for quite some time, but you understood that he needed time to gather his thoughts. This was something so deeply personal you were surprised and a bit honored he allowed you to be here at all. You noticed the photograph that he held in his hands; it was of Hogwarts, taken from the very edge of the forest. The sun was peeking over the horizon, spilling out between the complexly constructed towers that made up the castle's exterior, and casting a warm, golden hue over the landscape.

“It's beautiful,” you said, “the picture.”

“It is,” Remus smiled to himself and nodded, “James gave it to me, as a reminder. He said that matter what happens during the full moon, the sun will always rise on us again.”

“Huh,” you mused softly, “perhaps he isn't such an insufferable jerk after all.”

“Oh, no, he is,” Lupin chuckled, “but he is also a very good friend, and endlessly thoughtful even if he denies it.”

You let that sink in for a moment. You supposed he was.

“Well,” you said, laughing a bit as you shifted in your seat, “this isn't as deep and meaningful as the photo, but I brought something for you.” You reached into your bag, retrieving something that made Remus' eyes widen.

“Where did you get that?” he said, elated as you held out his favorite chocolate bar which had been out of stock at Hogsmeade for weeks now.

“You guys have a secret tunnel that goes right to the Honeydukes cellar and you've never taken advantage of their storage?” you grinned.

Lupin hesitated as he held the bar in his hands.

“So you stole it?”

“I left five dracma in the tip jar,” you rolled your eyes, “I'm not a death eater.”

His smiled returned at that, and he ripped open the familiar foil gratefully.

“Thank you,” he said quietly.

“It's the least I could do,” you said.

“It's really not,” he said, turning to face you fully. You were left a bit breathless as the unexpected intensity of his eyes. “None of this is the least you could do, because the least you could do is nothing,” he continued, rambling, “we were so horrible to someone you consider a dear friend, and you were willing to look past that. You're risking your life by even being with me right now, (Y/n).”

“You don't—”

“I do know that,” Remus said sharply, “I've never been in contact with anyone as a werewolf. The one time I was, I. . .” he trailed off, and it hurt you to see his pained expression, “I just don't know how I'll react.”

“You're saying that as if something bad's already happened,” you said gently, “it'll be okay.”

“How can you be so sure?” he asked quietly, equally full of frustration and admiration.

“I'm willing to put my trust in you, Remus. I think it's time you put some trust in yourself.”

Lupin's heart pounded a little harder in his chest. Had you ever called him by his first name before? You looked at him so reassuringly, so confidently. He couldn't understand it, but your words reached him to his core.

“(Y/n). . .” he trailed off, blinking rapidly. A shaky breath escaped him, and your stomach dropped.

“Remus?”

Suddenly you saw something shift in him. His breathing became heavy and his pupils dilated, completely filling his irises in a matter of seconds. He braced himself against the wall as he stumbled to his feet, his skin slowly taking on a gray hue.

“It's happening,” he said, voice deeper and strained, his neck convulsing, “you have to transform, now!”

You didn't waste any time, taking the shape of your wolf form and padding away a cautionary distance. Your stomach churned as you watched Remus yell out, his expression full of pain as his body grew in size, his cries slowly becoming reminiscent of howls. His face contorted in agony as his head morphed into a more animalistic shape, ears growing from his scalp and fur appearing as if his werewolf was fully formed inside him, physically escaping through his skin. You've seen werewolves before, but seeing someone you know actually turn into one, it was completely different. Nothing could have prepared you for this. Seeing anyone in this much pain made your chest tighten harshly.

At last it seemed the transformation was complete. Remus Lupin was gone, and in front of you stood a creature of at least eight feet, perched on his hind legs and towering over you especially in your animal form. You could hear how ragged his breathing had become, his body convulsing with the motion; growing and retracting like a beating heart. You heard a whimper escape his throat, and you could tell he was still recovering from the pain.

You steeled yourself, making the decision to alert him to your presence subtly. You tilted your head upwards, releasing a similar sounding whimper to his. Immediately the werewolf across from you was on high alert, his head snapping towards you and his lips pulling back into a snarl as his ears lowered. You took an instinctive step back, lowering your head slowly. He seemed puzzled by your behavior, which made sense seeing as Lupin told you he never interacted with any other animals during the full moon. His head tilted inquisitively and he took a heavy step forward. You forced yourself to not back away, testing the waters. His eyes narrowed again as he saw you standing your ground, but you quickly sat down, your head tilting to expose your neck slightly. You made doubly sure not to show any signs of aggression; you knew you had no chance against a werewolf at full strength.

However, he seemed to take your queues well. His tail seemed to relax a bit, his eyes returning to their full, round shape as he looked at you with curiosity. You sniffed up at him and he hesitated, but eventually circled around you and did the same. You could almost see the turmoil in him, as a werewolf you doubted anyone he came across treated him with anything less than terror in their eyes, but you were completely relaxed.

He whimpered again, and you were shocked at the sign of submission. You rose to your feet, and he didn't back away. You let out a friendly yip, which he returned, and you felt the weight lift off your chest. You leaped to the side, and he followed you, running alongside you as you bounded across the room, practically leaping off the walls. You jumped at each other playfully, rolling across the floor in a mess of fur. You smiled inwardly as this continued throughout the night, no longer seeing fear or pain or aggression in his eyes when you looked into them. Even if he wouldn't remember most of this, you hoped he would at least feel better in the morning than all the times he had to go through it alone.

Exhausted from all the playing around, you padded softly back to your robes, crawling inside yours and and gesturing over to him with your head. He followed you, coming down to all fours before laying beside you. You weren't sure when sleep came over you, but it was like the world's most comfortable blanket had been thrown over your shoulders, and your eyes drifted closed of their own volition. . .

“Merlin's beard, just what were you two doing last night?!”

You and Remus both jolted awake at the sound of James Potter's aggravatingly loud voice but quickly came to your senses. Remus' arms were wrapped around you, your back facing him. You were just barely covered by your robes with nothing underneath as a result of your transformation. As you scrambled to get decent your face heated even more as you saw Remus was currently without a shirt, his pants ripped considerably. You scrambled away from each other, trying to make yourselves decent.

Peter was howling with laughter, James looking smug as ever. Sirius was oddly quiet, but you were too wrapped up in the embarrassment to notice his behavior.

“What was that about being 'endlessly thoughtful'?” you grumbled to Remus.

“Right, I completely take back what I said,” he scoffed, “ 'insufferable jerk' is much more accurate.”

“Close your eyes, you perverted git!” you yelled at James, who was blatantly staring at you, “toss me my clothes at least, would you?”

James bit back a smirk as he grabbed your bag that was sitting in the corner of the room— clothes you had brought with the intention of changing into after returning to your human form when Lupin fell asleep. He tossed it over to you and you began to change under your robes. As his back was turned to you his mind began to wander. You'd always been attractive, sure, but since you'd always been his rival he hadn't really given you a second thought, especially when he'd been trying to get Lily's attention for ages. But just now, thinking about how downright adorable you looked when you'd yelled at him, something in him shifted. He shook it off quickly, turning to Lupin with a grin he'd managed to put on concernedly fast.

“You cheeky bastard,” he said to Remus, who was furiously changing into a new shirt, “you just wanted her alone, didn't you? Do you really need us to become animagi after all?”

“You're the worst, Potter,” the werewolf glared at him.

“Don't listen to him, Remus,” you grumbled, straightening out your tie as you slipped it on over your shirt, “he's an even bigger idiot than he looks.”

“Are you implying I look stupid?”

“Implying may not be a strong enough word.”

__________________________________________________________

It had taken months of brewing the potion and getting all the necessary preparations in order, but they were finally ready. Remus sat with you in the grass, wand at the ready to undo any untoward transfiguration that happened on accident. Peter, Sirius, and James stood across from you, standing at the edge of a stone ledge about five feet off the ground. You'd said that a leap of faith is what would best trigger their first transformation. They looked nervous, but they were prepared as they'd ever be. Over the last year you had grown considerably closer to the four boys you had miraculously come to know as friends.

“Remember, focus on your emotions,” you said, “you need to pick a strong one, let it fill your body and flow through you. If you block the magic off from any part of your body, it's not going to be pretty.”

“Right, but how do I—”

“James, I swear, I'm really rooting for you to be a mute animal.”

“But how do you choose-”

“Just do it already!”

“Oh, sod it,” James squeezed his eyes shut, not giving himself time to second guess before jumping off the ledge. For a moment he was certain he was about to land face first in the dirt, but then it happened— a moment where time seemed to freeze and his body felt completely weightless. He felt this sensation where his arms and legs vibrated with an intense, foreign energy. Images flashed through his mind in that brief moment in the air; Sirius manically laughing as they ran away from Filch, Remus snapping off a piece of chocolate to offer him after he'd lost Gryffindor a Quidditch match, and, unexpectedly, you. A feeling of warmth spread through his chest, and he grasped onto it, letting it flow through his body like you said. In an instant he felt torso shift, his shoulders narrow, his neck elongate; and when he landed on the ground he still landed face-first as he predicted, but in a completely different form.

He could see you and Lupin in front of him, mouths agape. He was about to say something when he found his vocal chords only allowed him a gruff whine. Shocked, he lifted his head, which felt much heavier than he'd last recalled, and as he looked down at himself he was taken aback to be met with a pair of hooves right beneath him. He staggered to his feet on wobbly legs, of which he now had four. As he tilted his head he could see the shadow of a pair of antlers twisting into brilliant shadows on the grass.

“Potter, you did it!” you exclaimed, “you actually did it!”

“Well how about that,” Remus chuckled, “a stag.”

“It fits him, I think,” you grinned, looking over at Sirius and Peter who looked determined and terrified respectively. “Well go on, it's your turn now!”

Sirius braced himself for the jump, but somehow he found no fear in his system. After seeing James shift in the air right before his eyes, he knew he could do it. He looked over at Peter who was nearly shaking.

“Come on, Peter,” he said, “we'll go together.”

“I-I don't know about this, Sirius,” Peter said, “I'm not ready, I don't think I can do this.”

“It's just a little jump,” Sirius said encouragingly, “you can do this.”

After a few nerve wracking deep breaths Peter gave him the smallest nod one could manage.

“We'll go on three,” Sirius said, “Ready? One—”

“AaHH!”

Sirius shoved Peter off the ledge, knowing he wouldn't jump on his own, before taking the plunge himself. Peter's screams became higher and higher pitched as he shrank at an alarming speed, almost an undetectable size by the time he hit the grass. A small brown rat scurried across the field towards you and Lupin.

The stag in front of you made a sound, dragging his hooves across the grass in what you could imagine as James' unadulterated laughter at his friend.

Sirius began to morph almost as soon as he left the ground, something you were surprised by. He landed on his hind legs, landing gracefully as his front two followed, and a shaggy black dog looked back at you with mischief in its eyes.

You couldn't help but go over and pet him. You laughed as he nudged you with his nose, a resistance that was quickly halted as soon as you started scratching him behind the ears.

“I have to say, I didn't think you would actually manage that on your first try,” you said, secretly prouder than they could have known, “but if anyone could have done it, it's you three stubborn goons.”

James huffed as he saw you continue to pet Sirius, using his antlers to prod the dog out of the way. Sirius barked, lunging at him playfully. It was quite a scene to see the two interact.

“Honestly, this is a pretty solid group,” you said, “you've got James who blends perfectly with the surrounding wildlife so he wouldn't be suspicions, Sirius who could probably do a fair bit of damage as a dog if he needed, and Peter who can fit through small spaces and snoop around the castle virtually undetected.”

“Quite an odd pack,” Remus chuckled.

“Definitely,” you agreed, “but a pack nonetheless.”

And that very week, Remus Lupin was able to spend his first night as a werewolf with his four friends by his side.

__________________________________________________________

“So, how did we choose which animals we turn into?” James had asked you the next day at breakfast, “I specifically tried for a dragon.”

“You don't get to choose,” you rolled your eyes, “You're a stag, that's the end of it. It's pretty much up to chance.”

“I'm sorry, you're telling me I could have turned into a fish and died right there on the ground?!”

“If only,” you sighed dreamily, earning you a playful shove from James. “Alright, it's not completely random, but you're definitely in the unknown the first time you turn,” you went on to explain, “and once you turn for the first time, that's it. That's your animal. A wizard takes on the animagus form of whatever animal most closely resembles their personality. So, a horny bastard for James, a loyal little puppy for Sirius—”

“A bitch for you,” Sirius quipped.

“Never heard that one before,” you scoffed, purposefully messing up his hair.

“Hey, watch it!” he shoved you off him, twisting each of his curls back into form.

“Well, look who's a high maintenance pup,” you chuckled.

Around the same time that year, you finally completed the map. It came together beautifully, each different way of folding the paper revealing a different level of the castle for easy navigation. You'd included the surrounding forests as well as the parts of Hogsmeade that applied for the secret passageways, all of which were marked with symbols and the unique names you'd all come up with. Every student and staff member at Hogwarts had a tiny scroll with their name that appeared in their location. Remus had added the nice detail of including footprints at the last second, so you could see which way they were facing and walking as well. It was fireproof, rip proof, and prone to insulting anyone else who tried to read it. It was the pinnacle of your magical (and slightly illegal) achievement.

“We should write our names on it,” James said, looking down proudly at the finished map, “it belongs to us, after all. We don't want anyone else taking the credit.”

“Yeah, fantastic way to get caught,” Sirius rolled his eyes, “what if Filch comes across it? That's like leaving your signature at a murder scene.”

“You should use code names, then,” you suggested, “I know you guys call Remus 'Moony' as a joke, but I kind of like it.”

The scarred boy blushed lightly at the compliment, a brow raised to his other three friends.

“Alright then, I guess you should all say hi to Rudolph over here,” Sirius said, jutting his thumb in James' direction. The bespectacled boy narrowed his eyes before shooting back.

“Right! And this is my good friend, Snuffles.”

Sirius lunged at him and James swatted him away in laughter.

“Come on, you two,” Remus said, “or we won't put anything down for you at all.”

“I've got an idea for Peter,” you piped in, “When my mom used to garden she said she didn't mind having rats there because their tails resembled worms, which were an old a sign of healthy soil, I know it's odd, but I think Wormtail sounds pretty cool.”

Peter seemed to perk up at your acknowledgment and nodded. It suited him somehow.

“Should we pick animal features too, then?” James mused, “I guess Antlers doesn't really sound that cool. What's another word? Horns? Give me some analogies, guys. What else do they look like?”

“Yours honestly kind of look like a couple of bent forks,” you snickered.

“Prongs?” Sirius snorted, the laughter that followed nearly splitting his sides.

“Oh, go on, what have you got then?” James scoffed.

“I was thinking Padfoot,” Sirius said, “like a dog's paw prints.”

“You know, for someone who was just making fun of code names a second ago you sure have given a lot of thought to yours,” you teased.

“Shove it,” he smirked, “What about you? Can't very well have a second Moony.”

You stared at him in momentary disbelief.

“Me?”

“Well, yeah,” Sirius chuckled.

“We couldn't have done any of this without you,” Remus reminded you with a smile.

“I think you've more than earned an honorary title as one of us,” James said.

“That is, if you want to,” Peter said timidly.

You looked at the four of them, genuinely touched.

“I. . . I don't know what to say,” you smiled.

“You could say 'yes',” James piped up.

“Alright, you loons,” you laughed, “if you leave Severus alone for good, then yes.”

“Hey, I think we've been pretty good about that lately,” James pouted.

“Yes you have,” you admitted, “It's the only reason I bothered to give you the time of day, but this time it's a promise.”

James rolled his eyes, but the smile on his face was undeniable. He'd never admit it out loud, but being friends with you was more fun than messing with Snape ever was.

“Alright, fine. (Y/n) (L/n), I solemnly swear that I will leave tormenting our dear old friend Snivelus behind us forever,” he said dramatically, putting a hand up at his pledge.

“Oh, bother,” you laughed, “the only thing you'll 'solemnly swear' to is that you're up to no good.”

“I'll take that as a compliment.”

“Then that's settled,” Remus smiled, “you'll need a code name too.”

“Let's see,” Sirius hummed in thought, “What other defining features do wolves have besides. . . well, their. . . fangs?”

“They're canines, you numbnut,” you huffed.

“Close enough, I'm writing Fangs.”

“Oi, I didn't agree to that!”

“Too bad, I'm already writing it~”

“Okay, well if that's the stupid name I'm getting saddled with them I'm going to write it myself,” you said stubbornly. You actually didn't mind the name at all.

“Well that's it, then,” James said, “Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, Prongs, and Fangs. We could join the bloody circus.”

“All we need is a group name,” you said, half joking.

“We've already got one,” James said proudly.

“Oh? Let's hear it, then.”

“The Marauders.”

“. . .”

You kept your face straight for exactly three seconds before you burst out laughing. The four boys flushed with embarrassment.

“The Marauders?” you chortled, “what are you, pirates?”

“It's what McGonnagall called us the first time we got ourselves into proper trouble,” James defended himself, his cheeks reddening, “You rowdy mob of marauders, she'd said.”

“Huh,” you chuckled, coming down from your laughing fit, “Well, then I suppose that would make this The Marauders Map. I'll admit, it actually kinda has a ring to it.”

And despite your group's joking quips and bickering, they couldn't agree more.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Wait,” Harry said, eyes wide at your story, “So, my dad was an animagus too?”

“Sure was,” you smiled warmly.

“This whole time I thought 'Prongs' was just because his patronus was a stag.”

“Your animagus form is usually the same animal as your patronus,” you explained, “In some very rare cases they can be different, but they work in the same emotionally driven vein of magical ability, so it would make sense that they'd be linked. Your father was extraordinary at both, because as much as he would deny it, he felt everything very deeply.”

Your eyes drifted to the wall opposite you in the living room, and a small but sad smile graced your features.

“Love is often the most powerful emotion a witch or wizard can draw from,” you said softly, “but you already know that.”

Harry followed your gaze over his shoulder. There, posted on the wall among a collage of photographs from the Order was a picture of his mother and father. It was one he'd seen a hundred times, and one he had his own copy of: them in each others' arms in a London park, autumn leaves swirling around them as they danced without any music. Even from this distance he could see the emotion in their eyes as they looked at one another— like they were the only two people in the world.

“Yeah,” Harry said, wiping a stray tear from his eyes, “I do.”

Read chapter 7 here!

Taglist: @sleep-i-ness, @blackpinkdolan, @parker-natasha, @ornella0910 @undertaker1827 @thatwierdo-koemi @nxstalgicnxbxdy @calaryssia @aleksanderwh0r3 @juggysgirlfriend @beautifulsweetschaos @kattirin @mialupin1

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rsitb-second-account · 4 years ago

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Borrower Intruloceit

Janus, Remus and Logan were (very happily) in a polyamorous relationship. However, to most of the world, Janus and Remus were just a couple. You see, Logan was a borrower; a tiny person that lives in the walls of human houses and steals from those humans in order to survive. And, he’s a secret.

Here’s three close calls and the one time everyone found out about Logan.

1. The time Remus’ brother showed up unannounced

Logan was sitting on the arm of the couch, having a movie date with his boyfriends, when the door slammed open. He quickly gestured to Janus’ pocket, hoping he would understand. Luckily, he nodded and quickly scooped up the borrower and deposited him in the fairly large (to Logan at least) pocket.

“good evening, Roman. Is there a reason you showed up unannounced, or did you just want to ruin our date?” Janus spoke coldly

“oh- I- uh.. I didn’t know you two had a date tonight..” Roman rubbed his neck sheepishly

“us three” Logan corrected under his breath, shifting his position slightly. Unfortunately, Roman seemed to notice the movement from the pocket.

“What’s in your pocket?” He asked hesitantly

Logan stilled and held his breath as Janus answered “why do you want to know?”

Remus was staying silent, not trusting himself to not accidentally let something slip.

“I want to know beca-” he was cut off by Remus

“why are you here Roman?”

That quickly distracted the human “oh! I was just-” he explained why he was there, Logan still forcing himself to be still.

Once the dramatic man had left, the borrower let out an annoyed sigh “you really need to take away his key, so he can’t do this again. It is rather annoying to have to hide every two seconds that Roman shows up unexpectedly”

Remus giggled “and what would we tell him? ‘oh yeah our secret tiny boyfriend doesn’t like it when you burst in randomly so we’re gonna take your key’ I don’t think that would work very well, tiny nerd”

2. Janus’ brother shows up slightly less unannounced than Roman

Janus, Remus and Logan were watching random Youtube videos, with Logan sat on Remus’ shoulder. They heard the door open at the same time as Janus got a text message from his brother, Virgil

Was on a walk and saw your house. Am now in your house :)

Luckily, there was an entrance to the walls right next to where they were sat and Logan practically ran into it, the entrance closing just as Virgil entered the room.

“Virgil, do you have a reason to be here other than being an annoyance?” Janus raised an eyebrow at his younger sibling

“Nope!” Virgil replied with fake cheerfulness, before sitting cross-legged on the floor staring at the other humans. Remus just stared back, but with a slightly more eerie tone to his actions.

Janus just sighed at his boyfriend and his brother. He had no doubt that Logan was watching with an annoyed face that he would deny ever making. Almost everything they tried to do together was interrupted by someone bursting in uninvited, and it was getting tiresome. He heard a faint noise from the walls and by the looks of it Virgil and Remus heard it too.

Logan had gotten into a fight with a (luckily non-venomous) spider, and had just killed it, when he tripped. The impact made him hiss with pain and, unfortunately, made a semi-loud sound on its own. “... what was that?” He heard Virgil ask

Janus and Remus looked at each other for a split second, before Janus shrugged and said that it was probably nothing

“Anyway, emo, if you’re scared and you didnt come here for a reason, you can leave” Remus said, slightly too bluntly.

Virgil, thankfully for Logan, did in fact leave. It was at exactly that moment that the borrower decided that Virgil was better (if only slightly) than Roman

3. The time with Patton

Logan was wandering around the house (its his house and he can do that now that the humans knew about him) when a knock at the door sounded. Suddenly really glad that he stayed near the walls on his walk, he rushed into the closest entrance.

He knew that this would be Patton (he was the only person who ever bothered to knock) but he still couldn’t decide whether this particular human was as good as Virgil or not. He was better than Roman, not as loud (though still pretty loud), and not as keen on staying somewhere that he didn’t own. However, he wasn’t as quiet as Virgil, and had accidentally hurt his ears quite a few times, but at least he knocked instead of bursting in randomly with little to no warning.

He watched from a vent as Remus opened the door

“Heya Remus! Can i come in?” Patton greeted with obviously fake happiness and Logan could see a smile that seemed just a little too forced

“of course, do you want to sit down? I’ll go get Janus” Remus genuinely had no clue what to do, but Janus was slightly better at comforting people. Logan was better at it as well, because he’d bring up facts about why you’re good, but it wasn’t like Logan could comfort Patton..

Janus quickly rushed to the living room, where his best friend was obviously trying to hold back tears.

Logan watched Patton rant about both everything and nothing at the same time, obviously just needing someone to talk to. As much as he hated to admit it, he was still annoyed at the interruption that had forced him into the walls. He couldn’t control what annoyed him, and that in itself was an annoyance. He wanted to sympathise with the human, but did he have to show up right as Logan was finally relaxing? He decided to just randomly do things on the phone his boyfriends had given him. It had been hard to drag to his house in the walls but it made it easier to not get bored and to contact the two humans

4. When everyone (finally) finds out

Logan had had enough. The three humans that didn’t live in the house had all shown up unexpectedly, together. Whilst Logan, Remus and Janus were trying to finally have uninterrupted time together. Of course that’s when they show up Logan thought bitterly. They had showed up for, as they put it, a ‘surprise sleepover’

He glanced at his phone leaning on the wall next to his bed and a thought popped into his head. The humans were bound to find out anyway, if they were to keep bursting in unexpectedly, so why not just tell them?

Logan unlocked his phone, opening Whatsapp and typing out a message

‘tel VIrgl patan and romun to stay were they are. im reveeling mysellf to them. im going throo the enterance on the bukshelf. see yoo soon’

He probably spelt most of it wrong, but he hadn’t exactly gotten taught spelling. All he was taught in regards to reading, was just barely enough to figure out what he was taking and if it was dangerous or not. And he was making a life-changing decision, so he thought that meant he could make as many spelling mistakes as he did, and play it off to nervousness.

Janus and Remus both looked at their phones and paled. What was Logan thinking?! It seemed that the other humans had noticed their uneasiness “what’s wrong? What’s on your phones that is making you react like this??” Virgil asked, worry lacing his tone

“Don’t worry, Vee. It’s nothing bad, it’s just.. unexpected. ...You’ll see, just stay there” Janus soothed his brother

“you two stay there as well” Remus added , getting up and walking towards the bookshelf, Janus soon joining him. They looked at where they knew the entrance was, waiting for it to open.

Roman piped up “uh, care to tell us what is going on?”

“we will, but not yet. We need to wait”

“well, that was ominous..” Virgil commented, seeming slightly nervous

Then, the entrance opened and Logan walked out glaring softly at the shocked humans

“uh, Remus, what the fuck is that?!” Roman practically shouted, reminding Logan just why he was on the bottom of his list of favourites.

“He is our boyfriend, and I expect you to treat him with respect” Janus said, his voice venomous. Remus held out a hand for Logan to climb onto, which the borrower did, still glaring at the other humans (mostly Roman).

“Salutations. I am Logan, do not introduce yourselves, I already know who you are” He spoke before muttering an “unfortunately”

Remus, being the only person close enough to hear the mutter, let out a chuckle “Lo, if you revealed yourself just to complain about them to their faces, this will be hilarious”

The three humans were staring in shock, until Roman snapped out of it “Wait- why would he be complaining? I don’t know about those two, but I am positively amazing!”

Logan scoffed “yeah, amazing. You’re too loud, burst in randomly, and it’s always for the stupidest reasons. You have hurt my ears far too many times to count, and almost every time me, Janus and Remus try to do something together, you show up, and I have to hide or go back to the walls. So, yeah, amazing” He spoke, voice dripping with sarcasm.

He turned to the other two “you two aren’t as bad, but you still manage to show up at some of the worst possible times. Patton, you are quite loud, but not as loud as Roman, so that makes you slightly better. Also, you don’t burst in, and you knock so that’s something good. Virgil, you’re not as loud as these two, which is good, and you always send a text message when you show up, so I have at least a little bit of warning before going into the walls, so you’re both better than Roman” not that that’s saying much he added mentally.

-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-

I kinda wanna write a prequel about how Logan, Remus and Janus met..

Tag list: @icantthinkofacreativeurl @vann-cat @moonfrost-star-comics

#sanders sides #sanders sides fic #sanders sides au #borrower au #sanders sides borrower #borrower logan #human patton #human roman #human virgil #human janus #human remus #g/t au #sanders sides g/t #intruloceit #i wrote this whilst very sick and dizzy so its probably not the best #Ash tries to write something

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turneverybodyintopuppets · 4 years ago

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Sides ranked by spice tolerance bc someone told me that sweet chili Doritos were “burn-the-roof-of-your-mouth hot” today

#1. Remus: Can and will polish off anything, bonus points if it leaves his insides with chemical burns. Has definitely pointed out similarities between enjoying spicy food and sexual masochism, putting everyone off their dinner.

#2. “Janus”: He’s gotta be down with spice. It’d ruin his whole villain aesthetic if he wasn’t, right? (See #6)

#3. Virgil: Has made his fondness for “X-TREME” flavors known (oh virgil I love you) and is definitely a black coffee drinker -> can probably handle strong tastes. Picks a spicy dish and enjoys it.

#4. Logan: Wishes he were a black coffee drinker, but the guy has a massive sweet tooth. Regarding spice level, fully aware of his limits and resolves not to cross them... not immune to goading, though.

#5. Roman: Look, no one will ever convince me that canon Roman can handle spice. Does this stop our favorite himbo from getting into contests with Virgil and Logan over who can put away the hottest dish? No sir.

#6. “Patton”: Janus is not down with spice--worst tolerance of the lot. He and Patton order “Extra Spicy” and “Mild” respectively and then switch their bowls when the others aren’t looking. Patton allows this because a) he enjoys spice and b) he finds Janus’ posturing amusing.

#sanders sides #remus sanders #ts remus #patton sanders #ts patton #virgil sanders #ts virgil #logan sanders #ts logan #roman sanders #ts roman #janus sanders #ts janus #and that last bit has #moceit #vibes #to those who don't like spice that's valid but you should let my grandma cook for you at least once #kenyan and luso-asian food is just heavenly

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embrassemoi · 4 years ago

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Surrounded by the Moon and Stars ✷ 18

Pairings: Sirius B, Remus L, [F]Reader CW: mentions of abuse, throwing up, depression, horrible coping mechanisms, implied sexual references A/N: Read CW for this chap.

【 Masterlist: Previous Chapter | Next Chapter 】

Chapter 18: Love Isn’t a Magic Potion

━━━━━━━━━༻✩༺━━━━━━━━━

February 14th, 1976

There wasn’t quite another person like James Potter who knew what unrequited love felt like.

After years of harbouring feelings for Lily, making a fool of himself, his failed attempts of trying to impress her; she never seemed to take interest. Lily always sent him disgusted looks, never passing up the opportunity to call him a dirty arrogant toe-rag.

And sure, it phased him sometimes; her words cutting deep, but despite it all, James still believed in the fairytales, the sparks, the magic of true love, finding your soulmate — your better half. His parents were his main inspiration for love. Years — decades they’d been together and still, the love they held for one another, so fierce and unstoppable, it even shocked James at times.

A long time ago, when he truly understood the concept of love, he made a promise that he wouldn’t settle for anything but for the fairytales, the sparks, the magic of true love, finding his soulmate — his better half.

He wanted all of it. The good days, the bad days, the glitter and sparkles, the cheesy one-liners; long walks on the beach, nursing them back to health after they caught the flu, watching the sunsets, dancing in the rain — even the stupid petty arguments. He wanted all of it.

No matter how long it took to find them, he would; after all, everyone had their person.

Maybe that’s why he chased after Lily for so long — hoping for that romantic love — the love that’s made for movie screens — the type of love that conquered all. But he wouldn’t continue to beat on a dead horse, especially if Lily didn’t want that.

He wouldn’t force her and certainly, he wouldn’t harass her.

But, James would consider himself lucky, he found his friends — they were already his platonic soulmates and he’d go to the ends of the earth for each of them. His parents, the Marauders, Marlene, now Whiskers; he was always surrounded by only the purest amount of love.

He was never a person to cover up his emotions — hardly, that is. He wore his heart proudly on his sleeve, never once letting others dictate his life and the way that he loved. He laid himself bare, open, and there was a beauty to it that words couldn’t describe.

Love truly conquered all, whether it be romantic or platonic.

But to the women that fell in love with Sirius Black, well — there wasn’t quite another group of people like them who knew what unrequited love felt like — not even James ‘Oi, Evans!’ Potter could compare.

Love is shit.

Love is cruel.

Love is unfair.

Sirius would go on date after date. One fleeting look and soon enough, he had women at his feet, falling for his devilish charm that captivated them in seconds.

They swooned over his chiselled jaw and thick glossy hair; eyes so mysterious with profound, moonlit mirth. The epicanthic folds highlighted his sharp and pointed look that they swore cut through them, searching through the deepest part of their souls.

He was a part or used to be a part of the oldest and most noble Pureblood families in the country. He was rich, of high status, French, could speak five languages and a mischievous bad boy straight out of your classic Muggle film.

Falling in love with Sirius Black was an easy task, so simple and it could happen in a blink of an eye. The realization would come either fast or slow depending on the poor lovesick git who let themselves fall.

But getting Sirius Black to return that affection was an impossible task.

He was raised as a gentleman and would play the part before becoming bored. They were all fillers, the people he dated.

He would admit it, he’s a bit of a dick.

He never fell in love with anyone he’s dated so far — never got past the fancying stage and even then, it was never strong. It never made him feel those butterflies that James described them as. His heart never jumped, never sped up fast, he never felt his skin heat nor did their laugh ever put him into a trance — nothing like what he described them to be like. If anything, he’d always break it off with the girls he found himself getting too comfortable with; always severing it before it became too much.

Although, it technically never was his fault that they fell in love. Most of his admirers like to daydream from afar, or they’d make a promise at the beginning — no strings attached.

Well for them, it did. It almost always ended with strings attached with Sirius holding a pair of shiny scissors at the end of fried thread.

He did not believe in the fairytales, the sparks, the magic of true love, finding your soulmate — your better half.

But that doesn't mean he didn’t want it.

But, above all, Sirius Black considered himself to be a realist. Unlike James, he couldn't — he wouldn’t let himself believe in that shit anymore. Love is disappointing and it does nothing but hurt you, nothing but a filler he used to distract himself with, no matter who it was. Love did not fix his fuck ups nor himself.

All of the adoring admirers, the ones that lined up for him, they would all leave if they caught a glimpse of the worst parts of him. The ugly, nasty parts. He used rage as a means of defence, he pushed the people he loves away, he was moody, dramatic and above all, reckless.

All they wanted was to take, use him for his body — they wouldn’t love him if they knew him. The real him: the ugly side along with the beautiful one he wore. The side that wasn’t always adventurous, daring, bold, brave… happy, go-getting.

Nobody would stay for the ugly part of him.

In that regard, Sirius was unloveable. Completely, utterly unloveable.

Currently, the uglier, caged part of Sirius re-emerged as he writhed around in his bed. Eyes moved rapidly behind eyelids, squinted in pain as he squirmed around, clutching the bed sheets tightly. His head flopped from side to side as he was unable to wake; stuck in a nightmare.

“You mudblood lover —” “Don’t call them that!” “Babies, Regulus, babies!” “It’s killing me to stay.” “CRUCI —”

Sirius woke with a jolt, choking on a strangled scream that clawed at his throat. His mind seemed to be encased in a wordless static, muting him to the noise around him as he felt the rapid, hard thumps against his chest. Distantly, he could feel his body raking in waves as the sticky, cold feeling of his sweat dripped from his temple and down the side of his face. It made his hair stick to his forehead uncomfortably yet somehow, despite the sweating and the overwhelming feeling of heat, he felt ice cold.

He swallowed thickly, sniffingly away the stinging growing behind his eyelids but failed as a few stray tears had already settled on his cheeks. Sirius looked around frantically, meeting the familiar red and gold bed sheets that were now pushed off of him as he sat upright in his bed. Red velvet drapes hung around the sides, pulled together as slivers of bright light sliced through them. It made him squint and focus on the surroundings.

Soon enough, it felt like a weight lifted off his chest, marked in unspoken forgiveness once realizing where he was.

You’re safe, his inner voice spoke firmly, It was just a dream. A dream.

“Wakey, wakey Padfoot!”

He had just enough time to wipe the freshly fallen tears away before James ripped back his curtains, jumping into his bed. He drew a deep sigh, avoiding James’ eyes and trained them to look outside.

Upon the grass and mountains, snow sprinkled on much like sugar over a cake. The distant chirping of birds could be heard singing their usual song, or more like an alarm clock, as they soared high in the sky without a worry in the world.

If only Sirius could be a bird, what a simple life he would lead.

“Fuck you,” groaned Remus, “He might be awake, but I’m not.” His eyes clenched in annoyance, throwing his blanket over his head.

“Well aren’t you lovely? Isn’t he, Sirius?”

“The loveliest,” he managed to grit out, throat groggy and dry.

“Shut up!”

“Okay, calm down big bad wolf.”

“Well,” he mocks James, his voice going an octave higher, “This big bad wolf can maul you.”

James beamed brightly, the ever morning person he was, unaffected by Moony’s response. Instead, he padded his way over to him, shaking him before Remus flipped the covers off his body, tackling him into his bed.

“Do you guys think I should cut my hair?” James managed to get out as he gasped. Remus sprawled out on top of him, pinning him in place as he was being crushed from his weight. “I want to make sure I look good for today.”

“You’re always in need of a trim,” Peter called out.

“You look fine,” Remus added, “Besides, you and scissors are not a good move right now.”

Meanwhile, Sirius’ stomach felt hollow, worry ate at his very being before he felt something rise within his throat. Quickly, swinging his legs over the edge, Sirius made his way to the loo in a rush while James and Remus were both distracted.

Peter was there, rifling through the cabinets with his toothbrush dangling from his lips. “Morning,” he said, not quite looking over to him, “Do we have any more toothpaste? I keep telling Prongs not to use so much…”

“Get out,” he managed to say before shoving Peter out of the door, closing it shut. He barely managed to cast a silencing charm before opening the lid of the toilet seat, throwing up. For the most part, Sirius gagged on air before finally attempting to collect himself, preventing hyperventilation.

Foolishly, even up until that dreaded night, Sirius had an ounce of hope. For what exactly, he wasn’t sure. Perhaps it was hope that Regulus might have turned out different, or maybe it was hope that he’d finally be accepted, even though he knew that would never be the case — never with parents like Walburga or Orion.

But every time he dared to dream, to hope, he was always quickly reminded why it hurt. Hope was dangerous, a false sense of reality — a taste of what people dreamt and chase for but could never quite grasp.

It was more addicting than any kind of alcohol he drank — or the girls — or pranks.

Eventually, he got up from the floor, jumped in the shower and followed his morning routine before wrapping a towel around himself and stepped out.

Sirius was drying his hair before catching a glimpse of himself in the large mirror in front of the sink.

Sirius had never been insecure about the way he looked. A part of him, the arrogant and narcissistic part of him knew that he looked good and he’d flaunt it. But there were times like today, where he’d look at himself, but feel as if he’s looking at a familiar face that wasn’t his — a monster reflected back.

He wondered if this is what Moony felt like.

For a moment, Sirius let his face rest, allowing the helpless, loitering fear and guilt he felt engrave its way onto the smooth surface of his skin.

The eyes looking back at him today were his father’s, his hair reminded him too much of Regulus, his high cheekbones reminded him of Walburga and the tired, slightly crazed look reminded him of Bellatrix.

A member of the Black family, that's what people saw when they first looked at Sirius, the heir of the most noble and ancient house of Black.

Sirius Orion Black.

Orion Black… Even his name made him want to cry out in rage. Another reminder.

Pushing back his wet hair, he studied the faded scar that disappeared into his hairline.

It was more apparent than ever that Sirius had scars.

But unlike James, whose scars were from happy memories of the Quidditch pitch, or Peter, whose only scars were from chopping chocolate for a fancy baking recipe — and lastly, Remus, whose scars were visible, laid out for everyone to see, Sirius’ scars were invisible.

He wore them day in and day out without anyone ever knowing.

With a blink, he drowned out his thoughts immediately; his dreams, his past, his thoughts were for another time.

He sucked in a breath, clicking the door open.

Remus was the only other person still in the dorm. He stood in front of the mirror, buttoning up his white school shirt before ducking down and grabbed his bag, shoving in books, his wand and any other loose pages of parchment that he assumed was for his little study group.

“Where’s Wormy and James?” He asked, not liking the way his voice sounded wobbly and hoarse. His eyes no longer peered up at his chap, instead looking around the room. Anywhere but his face.

Thankfully, Moony didn’t seem to notice, preoccupied with the now overflowing pile of Valentine gifts and cards on his bedside. He grew frustrated with them with every passing second as they littered his space.

“Accio bin!”

The black bin from across the room flew into Remus’ hand, quickly shoving the letters in but soon a guilty look flashed across his face.

Remus had always been too considerate about their feelings, perhaps Sirius should take a page from his book.

Sirius had a pile accumulating on the carpet beside his trunk; it seemed like more and more people every year were confessing their feelings, but this time, Remus seemed to be getting a lot more along with the rest of the Marauders. But he smiled, happy to know that Remus had been getting some action. He fucking needed it.

“Er — sorry, Pete’s off to Wood’s room to borrow their toothpaste and James —” Remus cut himself off, bringing a hand to the sides of his temples as he moved them in circular motions. “I’m pretty sure Prongs went to find Y/N. Something about finishing a sign or a song for today —”

Sirius bit back a laugh, “A song?”

“I guess he’s fucking Paul McCartney now.”

Remus passed him, disappeared into the loo, giving enough time for Sirius to get dressed.

It was his third dream that week about that night and it was wearing down on him emotionally. He was losing sleep, he wasn’t eating, he was reclining from the Marauders, he was so prone to anger; lashing out, yelling… he didn’t like how he was acting — it reminded him too much of Orion.

And the thought made him sick to his stomach. He didn’t want to be a monster.

Lost in his depressing thoughts, Remus re-entered the room. But instead of walking up to his bed, Remus halted, looking directly at him before he crossed the room, putting a protective, encouraging hand onto his shoulder. A serious and calculated look crossed his face.

“Do you need anything?” He spoke in a hushed voice, as if he were to speak any louder, the walls might hear.

Sirius felt unexpected annoyance brewing in his chest. Bloody fucking Lupin, of course he knew — using his heightened senses to sniff out his distress.

Unlike Sirius, who hid his emotions, who covered and buried even a sign of weakness, who searched for answers high and low, Remus was so blunt — clear cut with his emotions. He knew just what to say, knew what was happening before others did even if they hadn’t even spoken yet.

He wished his thought process was as clear-cut as Moony’s.

“What do you mean? I’m fine,” he said, faking nonchalance. Jokingly, he prodded Remus’ cheek with his finger, “Turning into Moomy, again?”

His friend did not smile, concern still latched on.

“You know I’m always here for —” Before he could say anything more, Sirius hastily grabbed his bag, slinging over his shoulder, bolting out of the room.

Hiding — running away from his problems — that’s what Sirius was an expert on. And like that, he switched off that part — the ugly, unloveable part of his brain for the day.

When Sirius reached the Great Hall, he wasn’t surprised when a dozen owls bombarded him with letters and chocolates. It brought a sly smile to his lips

What? He did say he was arrogant.

“Looking grand, Black,” Marlene teased as she observed the overflowing amount of cards already in his arms. She ruffled his hair as he was forced to take the seat next to L/N. Marlene turned to chat with Dorcas, who finally was back on her feet and kicking it.

“It’s not even eight and your bag is filled?!” Peter exclaimed, baffled.

A part of Sirius didn’t feel annoyed as he sat beside her. Maybe it was because his main stressor, the Black family, was out of the picture and he’d been desperately trying to control his lash outs, but Sirius was stumped. Since the break, especially after the ‘Muggle’ incident, he found himself tolerating her presence.

Just a bit.

He understood why James, Remus, Lily, Marlene; why everyone took a liking to her.

But he had an inkling as to why.

Although, his mixed feelings towards her were not helping in the slightest as he dealt with the string of recent events in his life.

She was the one that spoke first, which surprised him.

“Ugh —” Y/N fiddled with the hem of her robes, “Kettleburn wants us to switch the Puffeskin between us. I was thinking since we’re in the same house, we could keep it in one of our dorms. I was thinking about keeping it in yours.”

“Why not yours?”

“They liked to hatch in warm places. Your dorm has a fireplace, right? I remember James telling me you had one… And it would make it easier since women can go into the boy’s dorms.”

For some reason, he couldn’t stop himself — he just couldn’t. “I bet you’re trying to get off quick.”

The accusations did not sit right with her.

For someone like Sirius, someone who dealt with the worst shit imaginable; someone who'd been beaten down, both metaphorically and literally — someone who by the textbook was supposed to curl in on himself — keep to himself, be small, avoid drama, don’t cause arguments — Sirius did anything but that. Everything he did, he made sure to cause a reaction.

“No —”

“Are we about to argue because you want to win, or is it because you want to learn?.”

“You’re so arrogant. I don’t need you for grades. Your brain probably grew twice in size when I turned you into a dog.”

“Didn’t ask.”

“Then why are you replying?”

Sirius rolled his eyes, “Very creative.”

“Do you ever just shut up?” She snaps. Her face inched closer to his.

Unbeknownst to her, for a second, a second that he’d never admit, Sirius' brain falters. They hadn’t been this close to each other since that day after Kettleburn had assigned their group project. He catches the smell of faint floral — tulips, he thinks. Or maybe vanilla? Books? Tea? He couldn’t place it.

But his heart did a funny thing. It never does a funny thing like that and it concerns him. He wasn’t sick, was he?

Silence lingers.

L/N scoffed, “Well finally, it looks like you have.”

Although, she seems completely unphased by their closeness.

“Huh, you really do shut up.”

He snorts, his brain finally working again. “You nag an awful lot.”

“Well, you —”

“Whiskers. You’re a woman, how do I look?” James asked. He came bouncing up to them across the hall from the entrance. He twirls a little, showing off his outfit. In one hand, he held a sign and a bunch of roses. “Would you fancy me?”

“Dropping hints, are we, Potter?” She smirks playfully, “Anyway, I know you nicked that from Sirius.”

Sirius looked over to him, his head nodding up and down but was surprised that she noticed the difference, “She’s right, that is mine. Maybe that’s why you look so good.” He meant for the remark to come off as a joke, but cringed as the words spewed from his mouth. He sounded like a complete arse.

James ignores him, “I have everything planned.” Then, he holds up a sign, all in baby pink with hearts dancing across the page as a huge message declaring his affection for Emmeline was written in bold fonts. I looked fairly cheesy, but that was James for you. A romantic at heart.

“Well,” he starts, clearly happy, “Do you like it?! I’ve also got a song written!”

“Remember the last time you wrote someone a —”

Y/N kicked him, hard, under the table, which caused Sirius to look at her sharply before his face turned annoyed again. She hadn’t even glanced his way yet. She continued to calm James down, giving him a pep talk while Sirius would jump in with encouraging words.

“Of course we love it — is it for Lily or —”

James shakes his head and they both knew who he was referring to.

“— Then Emmeline will love it even more! Get the girl, Bambi!”

James smiled triumphantly, sticking his fist out for a fist bump before running off happily towards the Ravenclaw table.

“Y’know,” Y/N starts, talking to Sirius as they both watch as James gets up on the table, preparing to serenade Emmeline in front of the entire Great Hall with a guitar that vaguely looks like Remus’. “You can choose not to be a dick.”

Surprisingly, he laughed, small, but there. And then, he finds himself responding to her comments, “I beg to differ.”

“Then beg.”

Sirius’ eyes widened, feeling his mouth go dry. He bit the inside of his cheek, eyes fluttering shut a couple times. It didn’t help that she smirked at his reaction and it made Sirius feel funny. An odd swoop piddled at the base of his stomach.

“I’ll take that into consideration for later,” he settled on.

Remus and Lily waltzed into the room, both holding small cards of their own. L/N and Sirius shuffled over as much as they could to fit in with both Remus and Lily.

A part of Sirius’ routine had started incorporating Lily doing his hair. Most often, she did pretty braids or buns — but of course, not without James pouting to him later. He only hoped that with Emmeline’s new presence, James would stop.

“Ooo la-la!” Y/N mocked, swiping one of the cards from Lily and Remus. “You two are popular.” She turned to face Lily.

“It’s n-nothing, really, “Lily stuttered, her head ducking down. But her eyes seemed to look up at her, seemingly in hope of some recognition.

“Don’t be so modest!”

“A-hem!” James’ bostal voice. His foot wobbled on the edge of the table that made them all nervous if he were to fall. He finally concluded his song. Lily looked over and smiled, glad to know that James had finally chosen a different target to annoy.

“Fuckin’ barmy,” Remus muttered out, a hand going to cover his mouth in suspense. His hand travelled down to his chin-stroking his jaw.

“Emmeline, thou beauty —”

“Oh my god,” groaned Remus again, sinking in his seat from the second embarrassment but smiling nevertheless.

However, Marlene whopped loudly, a large grin on her face.

Lily looked over to the scene, her eyes finding their way back to L/N, Peter paled slightly at the scene, Marlene was howling in laughter along with Sirius.

But much like himself, L/N found herself laughing with them too.

Her laughter rang out, and Sirius found himself drawn to the noise. But what was worse, was that he wanted to hear it again.

And even though he knew that other women and even men were staring at him right now, ready to give him all their affection and attention, Sirius found himself unable to look away from her.

He felt his palms getting sweaty, his heart beat harder, he wanted to sit closer to her and a smile tugged at his lips but he forced it down.

Fuck.

It was almost as the realization hit him there like a thousand tidal waves.

His heart jumped, it sped up fast, he felt his skin heat and her laugh put him into a trance — everything like what James described it to feel like.

If it was what he thought it was, Sirius wasn’t quite pleased with his newfound knowledge. He already had too much shit to deal with and certainly, someone like her was not worth it.

As the thought arose, there was something else that pulled him from these thoughts; it was the very shit that Sirius was dealing with, coming to haunt him again.

Regulus entered the Great Hall and Sirius had the urge to run to the nearest bin again. He hadn’t seen him since that night.

Within seconds, Regulus sensed his gaze and their eyes locked.

He wasn’t proud of Regulus, if anything, Sirius resented him — hated him and his entire body spiked in anger as he stared at him. He chose his path. But he couldn’t help but feel immense, dreadful guilt.

He could’ve done more, been there for him more, talked to him more. There were so many possibilities, so many outcomes and Sirius managed to end up with one of the worst paths imaginable.

He both wanted to scoop him up in his arms, cry — hold onto him tight like how they used to years ago, but the other part also wanted to take a Beater’s bat and swing a Bludger at his head.

His head shook slightly, just enough for Regulus to get the hint.

There was a hard, hopeless expression on Regulus’ face as he seemed to take a sharp inhale, his shoulders slumping within every passing second.

They were from two separate worlds, more evident than ever now. They weren’t brothers, not really.

Two of the brightest stars were torn apart forevermore.

Once the bell rang, Sirius sprang out of his seat and walked down the halls. He dodged owls, letters, chocolates and even a few love potions. There was a familiar void that punched its way through Sirius’ chest.

It was too early for firewhiskey, he couldn’t get knackered, he couldn’t talk to James, not when he was this happy and getting a pack of smokes from Remus — he’d bloody know within seconds what was wrong and call a Marauder's meeting or sort out some intervention for his sanity. Besides, he needed to apologize to Peter for how he acted that morning.

So the next best thing; snogging — a quick shag.

The next girl that tossed a flirtatious wink his way, he immediately approached. She was pale, had brown hair, soft skin and he vaguely recognized her but couldn’t quite place it. They flirted, Sirius would suggest it, she smiled, nodding her head and giving out a breathless sigh as Sirius dove for her lips, walking into the nearest broom closet.

Things were fast, almost a blur. She reached down, fumbling with his buckle before it clanked to the floor; he unbuttoned her top, hoisting her up and pushing them against a wall. She let out soft whimpers and he groaned into her neck.

The sensation, the building pleasure had left as soon as it came, leaving him feeling empty once more. He peeled off the girl, checking if she was alright like every other time. He didn’t know her name, forgetting it, and smiled awkwardly as she dressed.

He watched her leave the broom closet, the door clicking softly behind her. He could hear the faint scuffle of her shoes as she skipped down the hall excitedly. She had gotten what she wanted, a piece of Sirius; the Sirius that he put out — the pretty, nicely packaged Sirius.

Bent down, sinking to the floor, rocking on the balls of his feet, arms wrapped tightly around his legs and his head resting on his knees; emotions pooled through Sirius, attacking his frail heart.

Sirius laughs; it was dry, sad, pathetic, defeated. It was hard enough to hide with smiles, pranks, the random girls, sex, but those happy hormones that he craved, it was never, ever enough.

He couldn't go on like this, he had to fix something because something else was bound to break.

His laughing became strained as the walls of his throat began to close, eyes filling with tears. But now, finally alone, he let them cascade freely as his quiet sobs echoed in the dusty closest.

Love isn’t a magic potion.

━━━━━━━━━༻✩༺━━━━━━━━━

【I hope it was clear in this chapter that in no way am I trying to romanticize Sirius's trauma】

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xomarauders · 4 years ago

Text

posted this on ao3 awhile back and had a hard time getting tumblr to upload it, but it finally worked so here you go

content warning for referenced child abuse

The warmth of summer filtered through the window, casting rays of sunshine across the floor of James Potter’s bedroom carpet where Remus was splayed out, tracing patterns into the ridiculously soft material. He was sure that James charmed it to keep it so fluffy, otherwise it would not have survived the footfalls of four, rowdy boys that found refuge here during the summer. It used to be only the three of them—James, Remus, and Peter, that is—until Sirius was able to join permanently halfway through the summer season. His parents had never allowed for him to visit the Potter’s while he was still living under their roof, but now that the raven-haired boy had run away and was officially disowned, well, Remus was sure the carpet would have wilted under Padfoot’s grubby paws by now.

Either way, Remus was sure that there was nothing better than laying on James’ charmed carpet with his three best friends, listening to music from the record player—that had also been charmed to work without electricity—and chatting about whatever came to their minds. They were all sat on the floor aside from Sirius, who was perched in the window, smoking, and watching as the birds flew around outside. Remus smirked—the boy really was such a dog.

“It’s our last years at Hogwarts, boys,” James announced as he pushed his glasses further up his nose, “what are we going to do once it’s all over?”

It was a question that held a lot of weight, depending on how you looked at it. What were they going to do as far as it came to pranks and leaving their legacy at Hogwarts or what were they going to do as soon as they graduated. Maybe get jobs, possibly go to university, more likely join the Order to fight a war they didn’t start. Remus didn’t care to think about any of these things. His future had been something he considered to be doomed since he was four years old and suddenly had to share his mind with a beast that tore apart his body every month. He had never even planned on having the life he had gotten—the chance to go to Hogwarts, to make friends…to fall in love.

He cast glance toward Sirius, whose own gray eyes were already looking to Remus, a thoughtful expression on his face. Remus grinned at him, tilting his head so that his curls fell into his eyes. Sirius smiled back, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes. He’d been smiling like that a lot, lately. Remus made a mental note to ask him about it later that night.

“I don’t know about you lot, but I have no idea what I’m going to do without all of you around,” Peter said.

“Don’t worry, mate,” James said, patting Peter on the shoulder, “you can’t get rid of us that easy! Marauders till the end, right?”

There was a certain admiration that Remus held for James Potter, the savior of the cursed and the damned. He had banded them all together; the timid boy, the broken werewolf, and the wayward heir to make a family. Remus would never be able to repay James for the unconditional love he’d shown him, but he was willing to try everyday for the rest of his life.

“Marauders till the end,’ Sirius repeated, extracting himself from the window as he put out his cigarette. He joined them on the floor, laying down next to Remus and pressing himself tightly against the other boy. Remus wrapped his arm around Sirius, partially out of habit and partially because it was what Sirius needed, something he was starved of. Touch had been something of a guessing game between the two of them ever since they started their relationship. Neither of them were quite used to being touched in such casual ways until they became friends with James—who was constantly giving out hugs like they were candy—and starting a relationship had made the concept even more confusing. Not only did they have to think about what sort of casual touching was okay for each of them, but now they had to factor in intimate contact. Kissing was okay, just as long as they were alone in the safety of Remus’ four poster bed or hidden in one of the various alcoves they had discovered while creating the Marauders Map. Remus thought it might even be okay here, in James’ bedroom, to sweetly kiss his boyfriend without fear of judgment or ridicule. Still, he let Sirius make those decisions, allowed him to initiate any sort of contact between them because while Remus’ aversion to touch stemmed from not being able to trust himself, Sirius’ came from not being able to trust others. He was easily spooked by any sort of sudden movement that came his way, a side effect of Walburga Black’s outstanding parenting skills, and no amount of James’ casual hugs or Remus’ gentle caresses have seemed to break him of this habit.

“What are you thinking about, Moons?” Sirius whispered. James and Peter were too busy arguing over which record to play next to notice their other two friends.

“You,” Remus said easily. Sirius blushed—an image Remus would never tire of seeing—and reached up with his slender fingers to brush away the curls that had fallen in Remus’ eyes.

“Me,” Sirius said, a hint of astonishment in his voice.

Remus wished Sirius wouldn’t sound so surprised at the idea of someone thinking of him. It hurt to know that Sirius did not quite value himself the same way Remus, James and Peter did and it was times like these where Remus wanted to meet Walburga and Orion Black in person just so he could give them a piece of his mind.

“Lads,” James said, throwing himself on top of them unceremoniously, “let’s head on downstairs. I think mum’s made dinner.”

The four of them trailed down the stairs, Sirius holding Remus’ hand while James raced ahead to slide down the railing. Fleamont was in the parlor, reading the newspaper and looking up as the boys made their presence known. He greeted them all, and asked James in a calm tone to perhaps not ride the staircase like a broomstick. James at least had the decency to turn red before assuring his dad it would never happen again (everyone knew it would). Euphemia was in the kitchen, apron tied around her waist and her gray hair up in a knot on her head. Sirius leaned in and kissed her on the cheek, and she gently reached out to him, not quite taking his face in her hands until she saw the smallest nod of permission.

“My darling,” she said, her eyes welling up with tears, “you look well.”

Remus knew what Euphemia was thinking about as she took in Sirius’ appearance. It was the same thing he had thought of over and over again as he laid in bed at night, his arms wrapped tightly around his boyfriend in attempt to keep him safe from the nightmares that occupied his mind. The frail and beaten Sirius that had collapsed on the Potter’s doorstep those few weeks ago had been nursed back to health by the healing powers and carefulness of Euphemia Potter. Still, it was hard to get that image of Sirius lying half dead out of Remus’ mind. He could hardly imagine what it was like for Euphemia who had seen the worst of his injuries after shoving everyone else out of the room in order to heal him. James, Remus, and Peter had stayed up all night, waiting outside the spare bedroom door where they could hear Euphemia sobbing over Sirius’ sleeping form. Remus would rather have faced the full moon a hundred times instead of waiting those long three days for Sirius to wake up.

“Thanks, mum,” Sirius said. The four boys crowded around the kitchen table, eagerly reaching toward the various dishes Euphemia had spread about. Fleamont had joined them, sitting between his wife and Sirius. James immediately went for his mother’s main dish, filling his plate full before passing it to Peter, who was already nibbling on some naan. Remus loved Euphemia’s cooking. It was different than that of his mother’s—not that he would ever pass up his mam’s wonderful Sunday dinners—and he was happy to able to enjoy the different flavors offered whenever he visited. Euphemia always made far too much, making sure that everyone got their fill as well as some leftovers. She was an angel, truly.

Sirius did not fill his plate as full as the others. He was still very thin, with his jaw looking more pronounced and Remus knew his hipbones were a bit more jutted out. Punishments at Grimmauld Place were harsh and Sirius had been starved well into the first few months of summer. It was still a process, trying to get him to eat without getting sick, but they were managing best they could. Remus watched as Sirius poked at his food, looking a bit scared of it before setting his fork down and letting out a frustrated sigh. James looked up from his own plate, regarding Sirius with a look of concern from across the table.

“You okay there, Padfoot?” He asked, keeping his tone light but Remus could see the worry in his dark eyes. Sirius nodded, picking up his utensils once more.

“Yeah. I’m fine, just…” He trailed off, looking down at the table and not daring to meet anyone’s eye. Remus felt a sudden need to shield Sirius away from everyone else’s intense gaze, the wolf within him becoming quite territorial. He pushed those feeling away, not permitting the wolf access to its most basic instincts in the fear that the wolf might be visible on the surface. Still, even his human mind seemed to want to take Sirius away from the scrutiny.

“Darling,” Euphemia said, “you don’t have to eat it all. Just a few bites of naan if you can bear it. Just to keep up your strength.”

Sirius smiled tightly at her but did not move to eat. The rest of them reluctantly picked at their own food, trying to keep things as normal as possible. Fleamont engaged his son in conversation about Quidditch, asking after the Gryffindor team and what he thought their chances were this upcoming school year. Peter politely asked after the herbs Euphemia was growing in her kitchen—he had a thing for herbology—and she answered each question with detail. Remus turned his attention to Sirius, his hand coming to rest on the older boy’s knee. Sirius flinched slightly and then blinked as he realized it was only Remus.

“Do you want to go on a walk?” Remus asked quietly, rubbing circles with his thumb into Sirius’ thigh. The other boy nodded, standing quickly, and exiting the kitchen. The conversations happening came to an abrupt halt and Remus could feel James’ gaze turn towards him. He looked to his friend, a silent conversation passing between them.

Is he okay?

No, but he will be.

Remus walked out, trailing through the living room and out the back door which lead to the Potter’s spacious garden. When Remus had first visited the Potter’s home when he was thirteen, he had the startling realization that James Potter was very well off. It was a bit daunting, especially since Remus’ whole house could probably fit within one room of the mansion and he had been a bit nervous to even touch anything in fear of breaking it. Of course, Fleamont and Euphemia were no stranger to rough-housing, having known exactly what they were getting into with their own son, and Remus’ worries were quickly put to ease when Euphemia simply waved her wand at a vase that had tragically fallen to the floor amidst their game of dog-pile on Peter. Young Remus had almost forgotten that magic existed outside of Hogwarts, and he was in awe at seeing performed in such a domestic setting.

His favorite part of James’ home though was the garden. It was so big! There were wonderful trees that provided much needed shade on hot summer days, and pools of water run by magic to keep the vegetation alive. There were many times the boys pretended to be magizoologists searching for creatures in a jungle, or highly trained aurors on the hunt for evil wizards and—Remus’ personal favorite—pirates looking for treasure. It was a place filled with joy and adventure and even as the boys got older, it remained their sanctuary. Sirius had spent a lot of time in the garden since he arrived, sitting by himself beneath the starlit sky, crying out for his brother and the family that had hurt him. Remus had watched in privately, not daring to intrude on such moments, but wanting to be within reach just in case.

Sirius sat there now, next to a bed of deep red roses, softly running his fingers across the petals. Remus walked up, careful not spook him, and sat down beside him. He flickered his eyes in Sirius’ direction and noticed the other boy had started crying, but he did not pry. Now was not the time for that. Instead, he let his fingers trail through the grass beneath him and let his words fall lazily off his tongue.

“I read a new book at the beginning of summer,” Remus began, his tone light. “Mrs. Dalloway. It was a quick read. The entire novel takes place over the course of one day, how interesting is that? It’s become one of my favorites I think. Woolf is a great author—Virginia Woolf, she’s the one who wrote it.”

Sirius seemed to perk up at this. “Woolf? Could you be anymore ironic, Moony?”

A light laugh escaped Remus. “Believe me, I know. Mum was worried about that when she got it for me.”

The tension snapped back into Sirius as quickly as Remus realized his mistake. Hope Lupin was a generous woman, young and vibrant with a taste for progressive ideologies and love for everyone she met. She adored her son and kept him safe, never shying away from him despite his affliction with lycanthropy and Remus sometimes forgot how lucky he was to have her in his life until he was sat next to Sirius and realized that the Hope Lupin’s and Euphemia Potter’s of the world were unfortunately not the norm for everyone.

“They hate me,” Sirius says abruptly. “They hate that I don’t agree with them. That I don’t want to fucking pledge my allegiance to some dark lord who wants to kill all my friends and I—” he chokes off, a sob escaping him, “I don’t want to care, Remus. I don’t want to be bothered by the fact that my mother would rather curse me instead of hug me and that my father would rather have me dead instead of tarnishing his precious family name. But I do. I do care because they should care. I’m their son, I am their fucking flesh and blood and if blood is all that matters to them then why don’t they care about me?”

There were tears in his eyes as he looked at Remus, tears that Sirius had been holding back ever since he was eleven years old and discovered that parents were not supposed to punish their children for wanting to be loved, the pain and anguish of that realization that had built up over time finally reaching a breaking point. Remus’ own heart was breaking as he stared helplessly, not knowing what to do. These were not problems children were supposed to have. They were supposed to be young, careless, and dreaming up pranks to pull once they got back to school. Instead, they had to contend with a looming war and parents who were cruel and a curse that transformed you into a monster. This was their life, and it would never be easy, Remus thought, not for them.

“Sirius,” Remus whispered, “there are no words I can say to express to you how sorry I am that you’ve had to deal with any of this. Your parents…they’re wrong. They are so fucking wrong and they are so fucking blind for not being able to love you. You are the most loveable human being. You’re generous and caring and you…you take notes for me. When I miss class. And you always make sure my pillows are nice and fluffy after the moon and you rub those soothing salves on my skin at night. And you make me that special tea whenever I’m sick and you read to me when I can’t sleep. You kiss me like it’s the first time every time and you love me like it’s the only thing you’re meant to do. You clean James’ glasses for him and you make sure his Quidditch gear is ready to go on game day. You help Peter study and you let him go on and on about divination with you despite it being your least favorite subject. You’re the first one up to dance with Marlene at the parties and you braid Lily’s hair whenever she’s feeling upset over her sister. You are one of a kind, Sirius Black. You are a good friend and a good brother and you are the love of my life. Believe me when I tell you that you are loved.”

Sirius stared at him, the tears falling from his eyes leaving trails across his cheeks. He reached out for Remus, pulling the taller boy closer to close the distance between them. Sirius’ lips met Remus’, a tender kiss filled with gratitude and love and the promise of forever. When Sirius pulled away, his eyes were still shining, but there was new fervor there, a look of life that Remus had not seen reflected in those silver orbs for a long time.

“I love you so much,” Sirius said. And he smiled genuinely for the first time in months.

Remus smiled back. “I love you, too.”

“Come on,” Sirius said, standing up and offering his hand. “Let’s head back in.”

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whenisitenoughtrees · 5 years ago

Note

47. “That tickles!” And either moceit or royality please?

i will take literally any opportunity to write soft mociet so

Title: sugar, butter, flour

Word Count: 2,769

Content Warnings: none, I think

(fic masterpost)

Baking with Janus is interesting.

It’s become somewhat of a ritual, over the past few years, to bake with his family. He’s dragged Logan out of his room on more than one occasion to help with more technical recipes, the ones that depend entirely on precise measurements and proper stirring methods and timings. Roman, on the other hand, prefers the more decorative aspects, likes to bomb cookies and cakes with sprinkles and smother them in icing, or to craft sculptures out of fondant or chocolate. He wonders if Remus is the same; he intends to find out, sometime, as soon as he works up the courage to invite him.

And Patton remembers very well the first time he asked Virgil to come help him. He started with a simple recipe, chocolate cupcakes, but from the way Virgil’s face slid into shock, from the warbling, shaky tone of his voice as he asked Patton if he really meant it, really wanted him there, he would have thought that he was offering Virgil the world. And he’d felt awful, then, for rejecting Virgil for so long, and vowed that he would never have to feel so alone again, never have to question the motives behind something so simple as baking.

He’s not sure what to expect from Janus, the first time he broaches the topic.

It seems like the right thing to do. Thomas has accepted him now, or at least, is on the way there, and Patton is working on that too, is working to blur the lines of his black-and-white thinking into something greyer. And being accepted means being part of the family, and being part of the family means being included in activities, and that means baking, and if anyone had asked Patton a few months ago if he would be excited to ask Janus to bake with him, he wouldn’t have believed them at all.

But he is excited. And nervous, because he’s not sure that he’ll even be interested. Somehow, he has a hard time picturing Janus in a kitchen, because Janus is always so immaculately groomed and kitchens get so messy. He tries to imagine Janus with egg on his gloves or flour on his shirt, and he can’t quite manage it.

He asks, though. Because he wants to bake with Janus. Wants Janus to bake with him.

And Janus says yes.

He does it with a curiously blank face, the only visible emotion a slight flicker in his eyes, and Patton has no idea what he is thinking at all, but he accepts, and allows Patton to lead him to the kitchen, and then, they make cookies. Simple, chocolate chip cookies.

It’s weird, at first. Awkward, and strained, and it becomes very clear very quickly that Janus has never baked anything in his life, and that only adds to the weirdness, because Patton has to tell him what to do most of the time. But he catches on quickly, and by the time they’re making the third batch, he seems to have the motions down, and they settle into a more comfortable companionship. Their conversation, too, changes, moving from the short and stilted talk of before to something that flows more naturally, and Patton finds himself relaxing. He hopes Janus is, too. He really can’t tell.

They make the cookies, and they all turn out well, but not too long after they come out of the oven, Janus excuses himself. His face is still unreadable, and Patton has no idea whether he actually had fun or not, and he’s not sure that he’s ready yet to ask him to stay longer, not sure he could stand receiving rejection. There is something forming between them, some new relationship, but it is so fragile and new that he doesn’t want to risk breaking it.

But as Janus leaves the kitchen, he calls after him.

“Would you want to do this again, sometime?” he asks, and Janus looks at him for a long moment before replying.

“I suppose I wouldn’t be opposed,” he says, and by now, Patton is better at sifting out his truths from his lies, and he can recognize which this is.

And then, Janus is gone, capelet flapping out behind him. Patton watches him go, and feels as if he’s won a victory.

A few weeks later, they do it again.

They follow the same pattern: Patton asks Janus to bake, Janus agrees without displaying any indication as to whether he actually wants to or not, and they slowly warm up to each other as the cookies turn a soft golden brown. And this time, because he is better prepared, Patton notices a few things.

The first is that Janus keeps looking at him, keeps stealing quick, subtle glances whenever he thinks he isn’t looking. And at first, Patton doesn’t think very much of it, except that those glances start to remind him a little bit of Virgil. Because he remembers the first few times he baked with Virgil, remembers how cautious he was, how quiet, how he seemed to be trying to make himself smaller, as if he thought that Patton would kick him out if he so much as put a foot wrong, or that he would shout if Virgil messed up a measurement or made too much of a mess. And the way Janus is acting isn’t precisely like that, but the similarities are too striking to ignore. There is a hesitance in his movements, and in the way he watches Patton out of the corner of his eye, as if he’s trying to ensure that he’s not doing anything wrong.

The fact that he feels like he needs to do that makes Patton’s heart ache, but he’s sure that if he tries to approach the topic at all, Janus will staunchly deny it. So he leaves it be for now, and hopes that he can demonstrate through his actions that the caution isn’t necessary.

The second thing he notices is far more fun, and it’s this: Janus bakes like he does.

One of the worst kept secrets in the mindscape is that Patton is not very good in the kitchen, much to his chagrin. He knows it, everyone knows it, Thomas probably knows it. He tends to take recipes as guidelines rather than as set instructions, and he gets distracted easily, leaving one thing to burn or boil over while he focuses on another. He does his best work while there is someone else with him to keep him on track.

He’s cooked or baked with everyone else enough to know their strong suits. Logan is all about precision and numbers, while Roman focuses on style and flair, and Virgil just tries to make sure that everything is sanitary and no one burns themselves or cuts a finger.

Janus, though, is remarkably like him.

He eyeballs measurements like Patton does, disregarding the recipe entirely when he thinks something else might work better, and he, too, is prone to distraction, perfectly willing to let Patton tug him in a new direction while the previous work sits forgotten, only to curse up a storm when something starts spilling or smoking.

Really, he’s no better at this than Patton is.

That becomes extremely clear by the third time they bake together. They are still doing cookies, though Patton thinks it might be time to try something else soon. Cupcakes, maybe, or a whole cake. But for now, they stand there, staring at the first batch, straight out of the oven.

“Well, those look… good,” Janus says, not even trying to hide his doubt.

Patton frowns at the cookies. Something about them is off, something about their color and size just slightly different from the usual. He shrugs, picking one up and breaking it in half, handing part of it to Janus, who regards it suspiciously.

“Won’t know what’s wrong until we try it,” he says, and Janus lifts an eyebrow.

“Won’t do much good to know what’s wrong if we poison ourselves,” he says, but lifts the cookie to his lips anyway.

They take a bite at the same time. Patton feels his face twist, and Janus stops chewing as quickly as he started, his eyes blowing wide. They stare at each other for a moment, and Patton shudders, forcing himself to swallow. Janus, on the other hand, elects to grab a paper towel and delicately spit out the bite he took, tossing it and the rest of the cookie in the garbage can.

“That,” Janus proclaims, “was the most delightful thing I have ever eaten. And I have had Remus attempt to cook for me.”

Patton winces, turning to inspect the ingredients, still laid out on the counter. They have another three batches’ worth of dough, but they won’t be able to use it, not if his hunch is correct and they’ve used—

“Salt instead of sugar,” he says dolefully. “How did we both miss that?”

Janus makes a strangled sound. And then, he laughs, short and surprised, and by the time Patton turns to look, he is already composing himself.

“Clearly, our ingenuity in the kitchen knows no bounds,” he says, a slight smile still playing about his lips. “I can take these to Remus. I’m sure he’d love them.”

Patton agrees, mind not lingering too long on the Remus thing, because the word our rings in his head over and over again. Our ingenuity. Proof that Janus does want to be here, that he considers this to be an activity that they do together, rather than something that Patton drags him into. And his chest fills with warmth, warmth and something that feels like sparkles and rainbows, and he can’t help but beam.

Janus looks a bit taken aback, but he returns the smile, if shakily.

And, well. After that, there is no way that Patton is going to let Janus go. They graduate from cookies to cupcakes to cakes, and then to more complicated things, different types of pastries and creams and things that would probably work better if they had Logan there to help them, because only about one in three products actually tastes anything like it’s supposed to, or is edible at all. But it’s not the end product that’s the point, it’s the time they spend together, muddling their way through a complicated set of instructions, or giving up on that and winging it, turning the kitchen into something more approaching a disaster zone, a mess covering every surface.

And gradually, Janus seems to grow more comfortable. Allows himself to smile, and even to laugh, and every time Patton teases such a reaction out of him, he feels warm and bubbly all over. Slowly, somewhere between the meringues and the ganaches, they fall into a friendship, and Patton is elated.

And that friendship gives him courage to do things he never would have dared to do before, even if he wanted to.

“Here, you’ve got a little something,” he says, and before Janus can react, he wipes a bit of flour onto his nose.

He doesn’t know what’s gotten into him, isn’t sure why he’s doing this. But the flour was there, and so was Janus’ face, and the desire to see what Janus would do was too strong to resist.

Janus freezes, his tongue flicking out. It tastes the air a few times, and then curls up to brush the tip of his nose, and immediately, his expression crashes into one of utter betrayal. His face scrunches up, and Patton can’t hold back his giggles.

“Really?” Janus says. “Well, as it turns out, you also have a little something—”

And he flicks flour at Patton in return.

From there, it is war, of course, and the baking itself is all but forgotten, the ingredients for their cake batter sitting out on the counter, gradually being coated with a fine layer of flour as it gets tossed back and forth between them. Patton has never seen Janus look so undignified, with white powder dusting his hair and all over his clothes, a delighted grin on his face as he pelts Patton with all the flour he can get his hands on, as well as the occasional glob of batter.

“Stop it, stop,” Patton manages, between breaths and fits of laughter. “That tickles!”

“Does it?” Janus says, and backs Patton up against the counter. With one delicate swipe of his hand, he brushes a thumb down Patton’s nose, covering it in flour. He resists the urge to sneeze. “Too bad. Vengeance is sweet.”

“You’re sweeter,” Patton says, the words spilling out of his mouth without permission, and oh.

Janus’ eyes go wide. Patton is suddenly very aware of the position they’re in, of how close Janus is to him, of how his hand is still hovering next to his face. And Janus must realize it, too, because there is a blush rising on the right side of his face, pink blooming on his skin.

But he doesn’t step back. And that’s good, because Patton finds that he doesn’t want him to.

“I—” Janus says, for once at a loss for words. “What?”

“I mean that,” Patton says. “I mean, it just kind of slipped out, but I meant it. You’re really sweet, and nice, and I really like to spend time with you.”

Janus’ hand shakes where it hangs in the air. Patton wishes he would close the gap that lies between them, bring it just a few inches closer and touch his face again.

“I,” he says, “I suppose I—”

“Oh my god,” someone says, and Janus springs away from Patton as though he’s been burned, and Patton does his level best not to feel disappointed. Virgil is standing in the entryway to the kitchen, eyes flickering back and forth between the two of them. The expression on his face is something approaching horror, though Patton doesn’t know what they’ve done to deserve that reaction. “What are you doing?”

Inexplicably, Patton feels himself blush. “Baking,” he says, and his voice comes out high and squeaky.

“Building a shelf,” Janus offers, completely deadpan. Patton can’t help but laugh a bit at that, still riding the adrenaline of moments before, and somehow, that doesn’t seem to settle Virgil down at all. He rocks back and forth on his heels, still looking between the two of them. His mouth works for a moment, but he says nothing, and Patton is just a bit concerned.

“Um,” he says, and steps forward so he’s not leaning against the counter. “Can I get you something, kiddo?”

Virgil shakes his head, and begins to backpedal out of the kitchen. “Uh, no, no, I’ll, um, I’ll grab something later, and um. Go. I’m gonna go. You guys um. Carry on, or whatever.”

“So glad to have your permission,” Janus drawls, but Virgil is already gone, all but dashing away, and Patton thinks he hears him muttering under his breath, thinks he catches the phrase “like walking in on my parents,” which just makes him blush harder as he risks a glance over at Janus.

Who is looking back at him, his lips lifted in a way that can only be called fond.

They stare at each other for a moment, and then, once again, Patton finds himself laughing, because he loves this. Flour and batter all over them, all over the kitchen, and there is something buzzing in the air, something that smells like possibility, and Patton feels warm all over just looking at him, looking at Janus, messy and ruffled and more human and beautiful than he has ever seen him, with flour streaked across his face and batter on his gloves. He is so glad that Janus is willing to do this, is willing to open up, to suffer a bit of indignity, to trust him just a little bit more.

“Shall we finish this cake?” Janus asks, and it sort of feels like he’s asking something else.

Patton glances around the kitchen, at the mess they’ve made, and grins. “Yeah, I think we should,” he says, and they do.

And when the cake is finished, it’s overdone, and it hasn’t risen as much as it’s supposed to. But they take it out of the oven together, and their hands brush against each other and linger at the contact. Its scent fills the air, a strong vanilla, and it’s lopsided and imperfect but still good, and Patton thinks, yes. Vanilla and possibility, and Janus’ smile, and he’s certain they’ll be baking together for a long time to come.

General Taglist: @just-perhaps @the-real-comically-insane @jerrysicle-tree @glitchybina @psodtqueer @mrbubbajones @snek-boii @severelylackinginquality @aceawkwardunicorn @gayerplease @elizabutgayer @dwbh888 @thatoneloudowl @sanderssides-angst @gayboopnoodle @wildfire5157 @ldavmp4 @a-ghostlight-for-roman

#moceit #patton sanders #ts patton #janus sanders #ts janus #virgil sanders #ts virgil #my fic #long post #cat does prompts

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shadowedmoonlight · 4 years ago

Text

3 Times Virgil Came Out to Others + 1 Time Someone Came Out to Him

I am aware that I am a few hours late, but this is the longest oneshot I've ever written

Day 3: Coming out

Warnings: Food mention, talk of sexual attraction (In regards to asexuality), anxiety, disassociation (brief)

Summary: In which the story gains a plot ft. fluff and hurt/comfort

Word count: 4025

Read on Ao3

Masterlist

Virgil hadn’t been this terrified in a long time. He knew that being gay shouldn’t be that big of a deal, in regards to his two gay fathers, but he couldn’t stop the terrifying thoughts from running through their head.

What if they thought he was too young to have figured himself out? They were only fifteen after all. Is he even sure they're gay? And what would they think about the pronouns thing? Vigil had no idea where their dads stood on transgender rights.

They had planned to do it after dinner. That way he could have one last dinner of peace in the unlikely event of something going wrong. It's more likely than you think they’re gonna kick you out, you’re gonna have to live on the streets

Emile had made spinach lasagna that night. Virgil’s favorite. But he could hardly enjoy it due to the nerves stirring in his stomach. Instead, he moved the food around on his plate and attempted to pay attention to the conversation occurring before him.

He believed his dad was telling some dramatic story about some lady that came into the coffee shop. They normally would be completely invested in that sort of thing, but they just couldn’t focus with all the thoughts running around his head.

What is he gonna do if he gets kicked out? They can’t live on the streets. He can barely work a stove. How would he live on his own? Maybe Remus or Janus would take him in? No, they have their own problems. They shouldn’t burden them with his own problems. But how would he-

“Virgil? What do you think?” A voice cut through his spiral.

“Hm- wha-?” Virgil couldn’t recall for the life of them what he was supposed to be responding to. He looked up to see his parents both looking at him concernedly.

“You feeling okay, hon? It's not like you to space out like that,” Emile asked.

Virgil winced. He had to learn to be less obvious to when they were stressed. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just a little tired.”

They still looked doubtful. “Are you sure?” Remy raised an eyebrow.

Virgil nodded and tried for a small smile. He didn’t think it was successful, however, when his parents exchanged a worried glance. His leg bounced slightly under the table. Why couldn’t they relax?

Emile started to collect the dishes but paused when their eyes landed on Virgil’s still-full plate. He glanced again at their husband, and then their son.

“Maybe you should head to bed early tonight. You hardly touched your food. You might be coming down with something.” Virgil saw Remy stand up as his Papa spoke. He offered them a hand.

“Babes, I think that might be a good idea. You’re looking a bit pale- well, paler than usual with all that foundation you cake on. Don’t think I don’t notice.” Virgil blushed, slightly. His experimentation with makeup had been one of his ways to tone down their glaring masculinity.

In response to the first statement, maybe it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world to put this off another day. They weren’t sure they had enough energy or confidence to go through with this. With a little hesitation, they grabbed Remy's hand and hauled himself to their feet.

Emile smiled sadly at their son’s submissiveness. He had to have been really tired with the way his eyes kept wandering. They abandoned the dishes they were holding, grabbed his other hand, and started leading Remy and Virgil upstairs.

Virgil blinked and suddenly he was in their room. They sat between his parents on his bed. Emile had them leaning against their side as Remy rubbed soft circles into his back. His eyes darted around in confusion.

Remy glanced down and let out a sigh of relief. “Welcome back to this plane of existence.”

Emile smacked their husband lightly. “Sorry baby, we didn’t want to leave you alone while you were disassociating.” Virgil’s eyebrows furrowed slightly. They didn’t remember going into an episode.

Remy kissed his forehead and stood up. “We’ll leave you to your peace now. Let us know if you need anything.” Emile began to follow.

Virgil bit their lip. Was he really going to go through all this stress just to chicken out? He took a breath. He was strong. They could do this.

“Wait,” they called out, lightly. “I need to talk to you about something.” His parents halted in their place in the doorway and came back to sit next to them.

“What is it, babe? Did something happen?” Remy grabbed one of his hands.

“No, not exactly,” Virgil said. His breath was starting to stutter.

“Take your time,” Emile said, softly.

Virgil attempted to calm their breathing. It's highly unlikely that this will have a bad outcome, half of his brain rationalized. They are gay themselves, after all.

Yeah, but what about the pronoun thing? The other half argued. You have no idea what they’ll think of it.

Virgil took another deep breath and opened his mouth to speak. They may as well start with the easy one. “I’m… I’m gay.”

Remy placed a hand on his chest and sighed dramatically. “Oh thank god,” he exclaimed. “I’m not sure I could have handled it if I had to raise a straight son.”

Emile smacked him again. Virgil winced slightly at the word ‘son.’ Remy seemed to notice his discomfort and scooted closer. “Of course we love and accept you and everything, but that's all kind of obvious considering, well,” he lifted his hand as wiggled his ring finger, “Is there something else on your mind?”

Virgil nodded, “I, um, want to start using different pronouns. He/they.”

Emile lit up. “Ooh, we can match!”

Virgil’s head shot up. “What?”

Both Emile and Remy looked confused for a second before a horrifying realization dawned on them.

“Did I- never tell you I’m non-binary?” Emile asked, tentativly. They were sure they told Virgil at some point.

Virgil couldn’t help themself. He started to laugh hysterically. After a moment their parents joined in.

“I’m sorry- I just- I’m fifteen years old and you never thought to tell me that vital piece of information?” Virgil wiped tears from his eyes as he continued to giggle.

Emile was bright red. “Trust me, I’m mortified.”

Remy groaned. “That makes two of us.”

Virgil snorted. “I was so worried about how’d you react and this whole time you’re the same thing.”

“Oh honey,” Emile exclaimed. “You should never be worried about telling us something. We support you no matter what.”

“Of course,” Remy added. “What kind of hypocrites would we be if we said otherwise?”

Virgil pulled them both into a hug. “You’re the best parents anyone could ask for.”

Sanders High School had an interesting dynamic. There were two main groups that everyone at school was invested majorly in. Most, if not all, of the gossip in school was directed at them. They were envied. They were hated. They were idolized. They were the closest thing Sanders High ever had to celebrities. The Dark Sides and The Light Sides.

Everyone that saw them would assume they were the rivals. Bickering and prank wars were constant. Classroom debates between members could last hours if not moderated. Each group consisted of three members.

First up is Roman Prince, the flamboyant jock and theater nerd. He was the first kid at school to break through harmful gender stereotypes. Before he came to school, any boy that joined theater was seen as weak and nerdy. Roman was the first openly gay kid on the football team- as quarterback no less- and the first jock to join the drama program. He was unapologetically himself in everything he did. He often came to school in skirts and dresses and there was rarely a day he could be seen without his signature red lipstick. Despite his smashing of stereotypes, Roman is the only cis kid in both the light and dark sides (not that everyone is out to the school like he is, or even to each other). He has the most social media followers out of anyone in the school, and was the one to first publicize the two groups. Roman is a proud member of The Light Sides.

Next is Patton Hart, the bubbly, adorable student council president. Everybody loved Patton and they loved everybody. Patton is one of the kindest kids in the school. He’s always willing to drop everything to help somebody or cheer someone up. They met Roman when they were young and they’ve been inseparable ever since. Some might say they’re dating, but a select few know otherwise.

Last in The Light Sides is Logan Berry. Logan is objectively the smartest kid in school. He is rumored to be taking all AP classes. How that’s possible, no one knows. Everyone knows that Logan will be Valedictorian at the end of the year. There’s no other logical choice. Somehow, even with all that, they also manage to be co-captain of the debate club. Patton and Roman somehow managed to rope them into their small group sometime during elementary school. Again, how that’s possible, no one knows. Logan is extremely stone-faced to people they're not close with. Some think he might be a robot with how emotionless he is most of the time. Those people, however, have never seen him with a jar of Crofters. (But if they knew their secret, everyone would think so).

Over in the dark sides, we have Janus Lies. Genderfluid icon. Their coming out started a revolution of sorts at Sanders High. So many kids came out as non-binary or genderfluid or something in between, the school ended up getting rid of gendered bathrooms entirely. A new genderfluid locker room was built in the PE building and the academic teachers revised their gendered way of teaching. But, back to Janus. They were the most sarcastic person you’d ever meet. So much so, it became difficult for people to tell if they were telling the truth. Their trademark hat and gloves stayed on no matter what the occasion. They also co-captained the debate club with Logan. They grouped together with Remus and Virgil before anyone could remember, including the three dark sides.

Remus Prince, twin of Roman Prince, is the extremely crude drama student and class clown. They are known for their dark sense of humor and sexual disruptions of class. The teachers have learned to just ignore them, as countless trips to detention were fruitless in correcting their behavior. Although they privately came out before Janus, they were more private socially when it came to their gender. Until that is, Janus came out and was accepted. After that, Remus showed no limits in expressing themself.

Lastly, there is Virgil Picani, the emo nightmare themself. He is in almost every club at school, including but not limited to drama, debate, GSA, writing, and volunteering. His sarcastic personality is no stranger to anybody, although it is much more subdued than Janus’s. Virgil came out to Janus and Remus before he had even fully figured himself out yet. He had not, however, come out to any of the light sides as gay or genderqueer.

And that brings us to today. As mentioned earlier, anyone that saw the two groups would assume they had a strong rivalry. But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

The reality is, although they did start out as rivals, the six of them have a strong friendship. They keep up the facade of competitors for sake of reputation (and a little fun never hurt anybody). Once Roman and Remus had gotten over their sibling rivalry, the six of them had discovered that they shared many of the same interests. They started hanging out after school and now it is rare to see one of the group without another.

Virgil knows that he has nothing to worry about. Roman is gay, and both Patton and Logan already use he/they pronouns. They accepted Janus and Remus without question. It won’t be any different for him. All they actually had to do was tell them.

But here lies the issue. Virgil thought they had already. It wasn’t until the first day of pride month that he realized their mistake.

They decided to make pronoun pins for all the kids in GSA. So, naturally, he made one for himself as well. They weren't publicly out yet, but it was perfectly okay for them to wear them inside the safety that was the gay-straight alliance.

Virgil was struggling to attach his pin to their shirt when Janus came over to help. Virgil noted the blue bracelet. Janus looked surprised as he read the contents of the pin.

“You told them?” He asked, incredulously. “I thought you would tell me when you finally did it.”

Virgil was confused. “What do you mean? I came out to them… shoot.”

Janus snorted. “You totally don’t need to tell them. This isn’t getting out of hand at all.”

Virgil blushed red. “I honestly thought I did! I’ll do it now, okay?”

They didn’t wait for a response before marching over to Roman, Logan, and Patton and dragging them outside of the classroom. He ignored the curious looks of their classmates, most likely wondering what they were fighting about this time.

They closed the door behind them and looked around quickly, making sure there was no one else around. He turned back to the group that was looking at him, slightly concerned.

Virgil rolled their eyes at their expressions. “Oh calm down, I just forgot to tell you something, is all.”

Logan cleared their throat and straightened up. “And that is?”

“I genderqueer, he/they, and gay.”

“Yay!” Patton exclaimed and pulled him into a hug. “I’m proud of you for being yourself.”

Patton pulled back and Virgil caught the expressions of the other two. Logan was looking at him with a delighted expression on their face. “I had my suspicions.”

Roman furrowed his brows. “So did I, but I must ask, why wait so long to tell us? Surely you knew that we would accept you wholeheartedly.”

Virgil snorted. “I actually did the same thing my Papa did with me. I thought I told you all ages ago.” They all laughed at that.

“We should probably get back,” Logan remarked, “Thank you for trusting us enough to tell us this.”

Virgil felt nervous, but not extremely so.

He knew nothing would go wrong. So many kids had come out in the past year at Sanders High, the school had made pronoun pins mandatory to avoid misgendering. All they had to do was wear the new pin he had grabbed from the office the day before. He also planned to wear a rainbow shirt to identify themself as the flaming homosexual he is.

The only real thing they were worried about would be the gossip surrounding them for the next week or so. Someone coming out is hardly a rare occurrence, but they were one of the most popular kids in school. He was certain that there were at least a few bets going around school on whether they were queer or not. To be fair, he was the only member of the Light and Dark sides to never confirm any rumors about gender or sexuality. And it's not as if he’s really hid anything. He’s just never confirmed.

But they’re ready to change that. They pull on their rainbow shirt, do their makeup slightly more dramatic than usual, and debate for a moment over the plaid purple skirt his dads had gotten him a few years ago. It matched his usual hoodie perfectly, but he had yet to wear it outside the house. There was no reason not to wear it. Why not spend his first day publicly out AGAP (as gay as possible)?

They arrive at school with an air of confidence around them that he hadn’t felt in a while. As he walked through the hallways, he saw a few looks of disappointment, but most were of excitement and joy. They caught a few thumbs up and cheers in the crowd as well.

He found the other two members of the Dark Sides standing at Virgil’s locker, both wearing identical looks of pride as they stared at him. They walked directly up to the pair, smirking slightly. Once he was within earshot, Remus grasped their head with one hand and Janus’s shoulder, striking a dramatic pose.

“Do you see that Jan Jan? Our little slime monster is all grown up!” Virgil rolled their eyes at their best friend’s antics. Janus lifted their wrist to show off her pink band. Despite the new rule about pronoun pins, Janus still kept her bracelet system in place. She claimed it to be simpler and more efficient.

She slung her arm around Virgil’s shoulders. She leaned in and said in a low voice, “I really am proud of you.”

Remus jumped on his back. “That makes two of us!”

Virgil had always enjoyed Logan’s company. They were the only person out of the group of six that allowed him some peace.

He could also be a captivating conversation partner. Listening to Logan ramble on about whatever he was currently studying was one of Virgil's favorite pastimes. The way his eyes lit up when you asked him about something they were interested in was adorable. And his voice would take on this gorgeous tone to it that Virgil knows not many people get to hear.

Their weekly study session was the thing that Virgil looked forward to the most. Every Thursday, they get to spend hours in a room with the most beautiful person he knows. They love the way Logan will straighten his tie or fix his hair even when they’re both immaculate. He loves the way they slowly and patiently explain the answer to something Virgil gets wrong, never criticizing them or getting frustrated.

Virgil may have developed an itty bitty crush on them over the years.

Not that they will ever tell him. They don’t even know where he stands on sexuality. He has only been open about their gender. And he doesn’t want to complicate their relationship for the sake of some silly crush.

The two of them sat in Virgil’s room doing homework. Logan sat on their bed, while Virgil had opted for the floor. They had hardly spoken a word to each other in the past few hours (a normal occurrence for their weekly get-togethers), but Virgil could tell something was bothering Logan. They’d been fidgeting for the past hour or so, and had seemed tense and nervous all day.

Virgil placed their bookmark into his book and groaned loudly. “If I have to read one more word of this, I think my eyes might literally start bleeding.”

Logan also marked their page before looking up. “That is highly unlikely. The amount of force that would cause one's eyeballs to ‘literally’ start bleeding is far more than would be caused by eye strain. Additionally, subconjunctival hemorrhage has not been linked to overuse and is instead usually caused by some sort of trauma to the eye. So unless you are planning to hit yourself in the face with the book, it will not cause your eyes to hemorrhage.”

Virgil huffed a laugh, internally cooing at how adorable they are when explaining something. “I guess you’re right. I can’t read anymore though.”

Logan cleaning their glasses on the edge of his shirt. “I agree with that statement.”

Virgil looked at him closely. Cleaning their glasses is a sort of nervous tick for him. And they had done it multiple times in the last hour. “Okay, what's going on? You’ve been nervous and weird all afternoon.”

Logan cleared his throat. “Nothing of importance.”

“So there is something!” Virgil exclaimed.

They blanched. “No, of course not. What would be wrong at the moment?”

Virgil gave them a look. “I never said that there was something wrong.”

Logan stood up quickly and started gathering his materials. “Well, it’s getting late. I must head home now in order to be at dinner at an adequate time.”

Virgil grabbed their arm. “Wait, Logan, there’s still hours until you need to leave. If you really don’t want to talk about whatever’s bothering you, we don’t have to. But if you do, I’m here and ready to listen.”

Logan shot them a grateful look. “I truly appreciate that Virgil. I will keep your offer in mind.”

They resumed their study positions and all was silent for a few minutes. Virgil couldn’t keep their mind off of Logan. He hoped that whatever was troubling him could be resolved easily. He didn’t want him to be distressed.

Eventually, Logan stiffly placed his books beside him and turned to their study partner. At the shift in movement, Virgil also put away their materials and prepared to listen, moving to sit next to them on their bed.

“I would like you to not speak until I am done speaking if that is acceptable for you.” Virgil immediately agreed. They would never interrupt him when they were having such a serious conversation.

“My sincerest gratitude. I-” Logan paused. They took a stuttering breath. Virgil reached out and took his hand, attempting to provide some form of comfort.

“I am not a robot. I know that there are some that may think otherwise. Aside from the vast technological inaccuracies in that statement, contrary to popular belief, I do have emotions. I do experience love. Just not in the same way as others do. From a young age, I have known that I have felt no sexual attraction. The idea of sex repulsed me far more than I can explain, even past the age of maturity. I have no desire to love anybody in that way. And I never will.

“I was under the impression that the same went for romantic attraction. I had never felt any sort of romantic feelings for a female. But recent… variables have shown me otherwise. I do not feel any romantic attraction for people of the female gender or sex. I do, however, experience attraction to people of the same gender. These people fall under the male and non-binary spectrum. In conclusion, I am asexual and homoromantic. I am finished, you may speak now.”

Virgil was delighted by the news. They had just confirmed that his crush could possibly be attracted to him. They didn’t care about the asexual part. It changed none of his feelings towards the academic prodigy.

They made the mistake of staying silent for a moment too long. That became evident when he looked at Logan’s face. Any positive feelings he had melted into concern.

“Oh, Lo,” they said softly, “You’re crying.” He brought his hand to Logan’s cheek and wiped away the silent tears that had trickled down with their thumb.

Logan's voice wobbled as they spoke. “My apologies.”

“No,” Virgil cooed, “you have nothing to apologize for. You’ve done nothing wrong. You’re accepting yourself and I am so proud of you for that.”

That seemed to be all it would take for their dam to break. Soft sobs escaped his mouth and he brought up a hand to try to muffle them.

Virgil made a sympathetic noise and wrapped them up in their arms. He cupped the back of Logan’s neck with one hand and used the other to rub soothing circles into his back. Logan gripped their hoodie tightly as they cried into their shoulder.

Virgil whispered quiet words of encouragement to him. Eventually, Logan seemed to finally be calming down. His tears dwindled into quiet sniffles and they sagged into his chest. The emotional exhaustion of the day in addition to the exergy expelled by crying made him unbelievably tired.

Virgil shifted the two so they were lying down on his bed, Logan cuddled against their chest. They could feel his breaths evening out rapidly.

Virgil pressed a small kiss into his forehead, wishing more than anything that they could do it when Logan could remember.

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snapeaddict · 5 years ago

Note

I was fairly certain Remus did regret his actions though. He literally tells Harry that he often stood aside and watched it happen without saying anything, and that he wishes he had. In the Prisoner of Azkaban, whenever Snape gives a dig at Lupin or insult him and Harry tries to stand up for Lupin, he repeatedly excuses Snape's actions. Hell, even when Snape tries to reveal Lupin is a werewolf and eventually causes his loss of job, Lupin never hits back, or even tries to defend himself.

I’ll divide my answer into three parts.

1 - Repentance vs Regret

So, you are right. I do think Lupin regrets some of his past actions - but the thing is, it seems to make you think he understood the seriousness of his actions/has grown up/is now a better person. And I strongly believe it is not the case regarding the subject of bullying.

“In repentance, there is a retrospection of the past mistake and a search for a better way so as to not commit the mistake if such a situation arises in the future. In repentance, there is a commitment towards change. Thus, repentance is an act that intends to make one a better person. If you are repenting, it means you are learning from your mistakes and willing to change to become a better person.”

This, does not apply to Remus. We know from the books he never understands and/or refuses to acknowledge what he and his friends did wasn’t justified or deserved; he doesn’t address it as bullying as I explain in this post. Lupin’s behaviour pattern is quite clear throughout the saga: he never or only partially acknowledges his faults and they are always someone else’s doing for the most part.

“Regret is a feeling of remorse that is a negative emotion as it leads one to think continuously about his past action or behaviour and causes more shame, guilt, anger, disappointment etc.

On the other hand, repentance is a positive emotion as it makes one learn about his mistake, and he vows not to repeat it in the future.”

Lupin gives the image of a kind, understanding and mature person who knows how to put into question is own behaviour when necessary when he tells Harry and Sirius he knows he should have prevented them from tormenting Snape (Chapter 29 of OOTP). But then, as the conversation continues, if you closely analyses his thoughts - he keeps indulging into self-beating and talking about his own behaviour. He is completely self-centred and cares more about the image he gives than about the consequences of his actions and this clearly is the way he functions:

- He is willing to risk Harry’s life by not telling Dumbledore Sirius is an animagus rather than confess he betrayed his trust as a teenager: he cares more about what the headmaster thinks of him than about the consequences of his actions.

- He finds the time to acknowledge he should have behaved better - what a mature reaction - but never acknowledges Snape’s trauma or the seriousness of what was done to him. He thinks of it as a “rivalry”.

- He puts a lot of effort into burnishing his and his friends’ image by justifying bullying with “rivalry”, “jealousy”, and agreeing with the fact “it was a mutual hate and those are things that happen” rather than admitting they behaved terribly.

So yes, Remus regrets his actions. But it is clear to me he firstly regrets them because it gives him a bad image in front of Harry and Dumbledore, and to himself; he never learns from his mistakes nor can make sure to not repeat them in the future, because he simply refuses to acknowledge them and put his energy into minimising them or making them, for the most part, Snape’s own fault. I find Remus to be a self-centred and cowardly person, and this behaviour goes along with it.

However, I am not saying this makes him a bad man and understand this is directly linked to the fact he is a werewolf and giving a positive image of himself is nearly vital for him. But clearly, the fact he regrets his actions means nothing besides what I just explained, in my opinion, because Remus refuses to acknowledge what they did. He never repents and we must not mistake regrets for repentance. Remember that being critical of a character doesn’t make him less interesting or likable and has nothing to do with your personal liking of him. Snape isn’t a saint either, it’s actually interesting to have characters with layers. However, Remus was written kindly and “loved” by the books’ narrative and POV; Snape was not.

2 - He still behaves, in his thirties, like a bully

...which shows he does not repent or feel sorry for what was done to Snape and their other victims. I had the chance to discuss this with @ottogatto and she was very helpful and gave me a very interesting insight on Remus’ behaviour as we see it through Harry’s eyes in the books.

As she explained, nearly every time the subject of Snape is brought up, Remus will subtlely put the fault on him. “He was jealous”, “Your father was more popular than he was and he hated it”, “He was jealous of James’ talent for Quidditch”, “Sirius and James were good at everything and everyone loved them, unlike Snape” are embedded quotes from HP5. Why was Snape furious against him at the end of HP3? “Because he wanted the Order of Merlin”; not because Remus had nearly killed him again as well as three students, just as he had done when Snape was younger. He keeps dismissing the consequences of his actions and justifies (to both Harry and the readers), the abuse Snape went through at the hands of the Marauders. He uses a florilegium of excuses commonly used by bullies that are both very vicious and even pervert in their aims (pervert = lead someone away from what is considered acceptable. Distort or corrupt the original meaning or state of things. Exactly what he does repeatedly). This is still the behaviour of an abuser. If @ottogatto finds the post she made about it, you may like to read it as well. Remus refuses to acknowledge Snape is right to act in the way he does regarding the bullying he went through and thus deepens the hate that already exists between Harry and Snape.

From the (wonderful) @ottogatto: You see, when you tell people how your target is jealous of you, it demonizes them in a shameful way. It tells how they are a pathetic person attacking you wrongfully, oh poor innocent human that did nothing wrong. Jealousy, after all, is a fault that remains completely on the jealous one. It gives your listeners the image that your prey is a mistrustful person while putting you in the position of someone who can be envied -- supposedly for your goodness. Because that prey is framed as mistrustful and ill-intentioned, it allows people to doubt whatever accusation your target might have: either "they're lying", or "exaggerating", or "making things up". Only those who are versed in the mechanisms of bullying -- the easy or the hard way -- will spot the problem. Otherwise, people will find a pretext, a rightful excuse, or an innocent, well-intentioned goal, to keep your prey alone, weak, and "punished".

3 - It is absolutely normal Lupin doesn’t defend himself or hits back when Snape reveals he is a werewolf

...because he is in the wrong. Snape doesn’t even cause his loss of job and you may want to reread the books while not taking Harry’s perspective for the unbiased truth. Dumbledore is obviously the one who asks Remus to resign. Remus just nearly killed three students and a professor, and roamed freely onto both Hogwarts grounds and Hogsmeade as a werewolf, risking many deaths and infections because he forgot the potion Snape had been brewing for him (he depended on Snape, another reason not to fight with him). Dumbledore just learns it isn’t the first time he betrayed his trust and he did the same for two years as a teenager, risking Hogwarts’s closure and reputation and his position as headmaster, breaking the promise he made to him when he was accepted as school. The worst thing is, it is Sirius who tells Dumbledore. Not Remus. Remus clearly demonstrates he is dangerous in spite of himself - Dumbledore learns as well he hid a very important information from him (Sirius being an animagus) during the year, supposedly risking Harry’s life. Dumbledore doesn’t apologize for Snape’s behaviour when he tells him goodbye and it is reasonable to suppose it is because he is fine with Lupin’s identity not being a secret anymore.

I understand Snape’s decision (and certainly Dumbledore’s as well, as read in Snape: A Definitive Reading and various clever posts on Tumblr) may seem cruel and negatively impacted Remus in a society full of prejudices; but I understand Snape’s decision as well. Lupin was a walking danger and had proved it countless of times, nearly killing him: I’ll always argue his decision wasn’t a bad one but you may disagree. I’m sorry for Lupin and what happened to him- but I also am lucid and acknowledge the fact he continuously risked people’s lives and was a danger to society at this point (because said society didn’t help him in any way, don’t get me wrong). But to come back to your main point, Lupin was the only one who caused his loss of job, and he had no legitimacy to call out Snape for revealing his true nature to the public, because clearly only this knowledge would prevent him from doing harm in the future. It’s a complicated situation that goes deeper than Remus and Snape’s relationship.

Lupin could also be deemed as dangerous on another level: he spreads around pro bullying rhetorics and makes it look okay if it was "deserved". He makes bullying less serious if the victim isn't likable. He makes bullying less serious because he is likable. And this is very wrong both in and outside the books.

#Snape meta #Severus snape meta #Marauders meta #Remus Lupin #anti remus lupin #Sirius black #James Potter #anti james potter #Anti Sirius Black #Pro snape #Bullying #Snapedom #Snape community #Severus snape #Harry Potter #Hogwarts #marauders era #Ask #Snape ask

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just-call-me-the-intrusive-thot · 4 years ago

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An Unlikely Suspect

A Sanders Sides Among Us AU (Semi Janus Centric)

Pairings: Hinted Romantic Prinxiety, Romantic Logicality (might get clarified if I write a follow up), Platonic Virmile, Platonic Moceit, Familial Creativitwins, Platonic Moxiety Trigger Warnings: Character Death (Some semi descriptive), Gore, Light Body Horror descriptions , Remus being Remus, swearing Word Count: ~ 3600

When an Imposter is found aboard the Skeld, life for the crew is turned upside down. Accusations, betrayals, and too many lies to count, can the crew survive the parasite’s attempt to take over?

[All characters belong to @thatsthat24 , I hope I did them justice ]

Life aboard the Skeld had never been easy.

Even Janus couldn’t lie about that. The work days were long and never ending aboard the flying crapshack (seriously, was health and safety a joke to their superiors back on Earth?!) but no one was prepared for the Imposters.

The crew had treated them as a distant worry when the warning came through communications. The kind of warning that they regarded with a snort, perhaps a retort of “that sort of thing would never happen to us, it only happens to other people”. The same kind of blissful dismissiveness you’d expect when talking about the chances of dying on a rollercoaster, or being caught in the middle of a mass car pile up.

Complacency, unearned comfort. No one spared more than a passing thought for the Imposters for months..

Then Dr. Emile Picani was found dead at his desk and suddenly the threat was all too real, all too quick.

With a check of the medical records, once the crew found out one of the scans had come back as an Imposter, accusations had flown all too hastily in the beginning.

“Patton, you were in charge of manning the airlock! Didn’t you check the cargo properly?!”, Roman had accused him, alongside a couple of other crewmates.

“B-But I did!! I swear!!”, the cyan-clad crewmate had protested, “I checked every single crate-!”

“Sounds sus, I say we make sure he never forgets to check the airlock ever again!”, Remus had all too cheerfully suggested. Thankfully their first in command, Logan, had stepped in to diffuse the argument, “Nonsense. We have very little evidence of any wrongdoing on Patton’s part. There’s only seven of us now, all crewmates will be crucial to our survival. Thus, no one will be taking action against him, or any other crewmate, without my strict approval. Is that clear?”

Aside from disgruntled remarks and some small accusations of favouritism, Logan was in charge, and the only crewmate able to prove his humanity since his medical scan was the only one left with the name undisturbed in haste, and thus was able to keep the crew in order, saving Patton from a horrific execution.

For three days.

The implementation of a buddy system of sorts had been a flawless plan, allowing Logan to remain the only solo crewmate, checking in on each duo; Patton and Remy manning storage and the medbay, the twins handling waste disposal and electrical matters, and Virgil and Janus managing weapons and navigation systems. A smooth journey, only to be shattered by a blackout.

Pandemonium had ensued almost immediately; halves of duos unwisely tried to head towards electrical, armed only with their tiny standard issue flashlights, leaving their other halves to try and find them or remain calm in the pitch blackness. Ten minutes felt like an eternity as Remus, with the aid of Janus, finally got the electrical wires properly repaired. The rest of the crew were quick to head towards electrical, hoping to account for everyone. However, a headcount carried the awful realisation that they were one short.

Logan.

Patton was the first to head for security, followed right after by the crew, only to find a gruesome scene. Logan Croft - what was left of him - lay motionless on the floor at the end of a blood trail that led towards the vent across the room. A distraught Patton stayed behind to guard the body alongside Virgil and Remy, while Janus and the twins tried to figure out where the imposter had come in from. Knowing that the vent system capped off certain sections, they only needed to check two other locations; electrical and medbay.

The former came up empty, so Janus led the group to the latter, kneeling down to check the vent and noticing a blood stain at the edge of the vent. A closer inspection revealed the print to be a hand, but the blood was too thick to leave identifiable fingerprints.

“So, the Imposter used the vent to travel here. And the only people who wouldn’t be out of place...”, Roman uttered under his breath. Janus could already hear him and his twin jumping to conclusions.

“Ah yes, jumping to conclusions is always the right answer, without exception.”

Janus hoped his sarcasm got through to them how bad of an idea it was.

“But Jan, look at this shit!”, Remus gestured between the vent and the area next door where Logan’s body was still lying, “There’s blood in the vent and the two fuckers who were in here are stuck with Virgil and the body!! For all we know, we could go back and two of ‘em could be dead-!”

“Alright, alright!”, Janus massaged his temples, thinking it over.

“... Fine, Remus, call the emergency meeting.”

Without hesitation, Remus made a beeline for the cafeteria’s emergency button. As Janus waited for the teleporter to pick them up, he noticed Roman anxiously running a hand through his hair. “Nervous?”, Janus questioned with a sincerity reserved for tense situations like these.

The red-clad crewmate hummed worriedly, “Just… the thought of Virgil being left with them...”

Janus gave a fond but tired huff, about to reassure Roman when the teleporters built into their suits shifted them to the cafeteria. Thankfully, there didn’t seem to be anyone missing bar Logan, and the previously deceased Dr. Picani. Letting his mismatched eyes roam over towards the trio from security, Dee noticed that each was in a state of shock. Remy seemed to be keeping a stoic mask up but Janus knew those tremors in his palms that came from his reliance on caffeine, one he had been unable to indulge in as desired due to the rationing of supplies. Virgil gnawed his thumbnail while his arm jittered anxiously, probably aching for his anxiety medication more than ever. And Patton….

Patton looked devastated, emotionally and physically so. It was clear he’d been yanking on his hair in distress, and while it wasn’t immediately noticeable, his olivine cheeks bore tear tracks still.

Janus found himself hoping, praying almost, that Patton could save his skin somehow.

“We found blood in the medbay vent,”, Roman began, snapping Janus out of his thoughts and back to reality. “Which means the Imposter must be Remy or Patton.”

Once kind green eyes tainted with distrust and distress fell on the poor cyan crewmate, “And considering everything up til now…. Patton, I hate to say it…. But you’re-”

“You’re looking pretty fucking sus, Padre!”, Remus finished for his twin.

Janus could see Patton jolt, the hurt in his features at a once friendly nickname being used so callously felt far too cruel. The yellow crewmate prided himself on being able to see through a rouse, and Patton didn’t show any such signs of deceit, but…

“I-!! I’d never-!!”, Pat gasped, the pain clear, “I could never hurt Logan!! Or Emile, or ANY of you!! Please, I-!”

“Give it up, Pat, you alien bitch.”

Remy’s voice laden with venom and a notable shakiness cut through the words trying to scramble out of Patton’s mouth. “Like, it has to be you. You were in charge of the airlock. You were close enough to them to get at L and Emile. Worst of all, you were the only other person in medbay with me.”, Remy wrung his hands into his black jumpsuit frustratedly, “And when the lights came back on…. You weren’t in the room anymore!”

Patton shook his head, “No, Remy, I-!! I was in the hallway, I couldn’t see you-!”

“Popstar, come on...”, Virgil’s shaky voice came from across the table, “I… I don’t wanna believe it, but we… we have to face the facts here. Logan’s body didn’t show signs of a struggle, so he was probably comfortable with whoever did this. You fit that bill…. You even ran straight to Logan’s body, Pat!! Do you have any idea how suspicious that looks?!”

It all made sense, so much sense, but Janus’ brain still told him it was wrong. That something wasn’t right.

“But!! But Logan liked being in security!! We all knew that-!!”

“But that still doesn’t explain any of the other evidence!!”, Remus chipped in, looking ready to condemn the poor man. Frantically, Patton looked to Janus. God, he’d never forget that look, the primal fear of death lingering behind terrified light blue. “Janus, please, you know I’m not lying, right?!”

What could Janus do but nod? He believed Patton. It wouldn’t do anything in the long run, but at least the poor man would know someone was on his side.

“I do believe you, Patton. This feels far too ludicrous to-”

“Jan, you’re a fucking idiot if you believe that bullshit!”, Remus interrupted, “He’s just trying to manipulate you!!”

The conversation abruptly halted as Remus rounded the table, grabbing Patton’s arm, beginning to haul him towards the airlock. The cyan crewmate tried to protest, wriggling to free himself, but Roman and Remy both secured him, sealing his fate,

“PLEASE, PLEASE DON’T DO THIS-!!”

“Just stop, Pat, don’t make this-!”

“NO, LET ME GO, PLEASE, IT’S NOT ME, I SWEAR-!!”

“Shut up, you parasite bastard!!”

Patton struggled for his life against the twins’ strong hold while Remy readied the airlock’s inner door. Janus couldn’t bear to watch, “This is a mistake, you’re going to kill an innocent man, Roman-!”

“Stop, Janus!”, Roman snapped, “We… We can’t afford to turn a blind eye or more of us will die! It’s-! It’s the right thing to do-!”

“You know that’s a lie, do I even need to spell that one out for you-”

“Babes, with all do respect?”, Remy spoke up, opening the inner door and letting the twins toss Patton inside before shutting the door, “Shut the fuck up. Like, this is our chance to stop all this!”

The countdown as Remus set the airlock to open was harrowing, even for the demented twin. The group watched through the reinforced glass window as Patton slammed his fists into the door, his voice silenced by the sound proofing, but his desperation was so palpable no words were needed. For God’s sakes, a man was begging for his life! How could they let this happen? Janus felt Virgil turn away next to him, clearly unable to watch one of their closest friends die.

A surge of righteous justice threw Janus into action. Despite the alarmed voices of the others, he tried desperately to somehow undo the countdown. To somehow get the stupid control panel to cease the damned timer ticking away til Patton would meet his end in the vast nothingness of space. His efforts were for naught. Between the safety programming and the others prying him away, Janus was hauled back just in time to see the outer door open. The force tore Patton into the terrifying cosmic wasteland.

Just like that, the crew lost Patton Hart.

Janus felt his ears ring in the sudden silence, feeling like his head had been submerged in ice water. He could hear Virgil sobbing, muffled by what he assumed would be Roman’s shoulder or chest. In his peripheral view, he noted Remus’ green gloved hand clench and release in an effort to calm his nerves, surely. Remy sunk to his knees, not uttering a word edgeways. Human nature would kick in eventually, tell them in the end that they did what they could. That they’d eliminated a threat that took the form of their dear crewmate. But Janus knew. He knew this wasn’t the end, he’d just failed to save Patton’s life.

Days passed; just two but to Janus and the others, it felt more like two centuries. They’d given Logan’s remains a decent cremation, using the ashes to mix with the plant food in O2. Logan had always wanted to help the planet, and now at least, in a way, he would do just that.

The schedules he’d set the others slowly crumbled. Remy avoided the med bay, “too many awful memories”, he’d said. The twins stuck together more so out of a shared lingering guilt, Janus theorised, still going about their manual tasks, though neither could bring themselves to sing a cheery tune or R-rated space sea shanty about banging an Eldritch Deity. Life aboard the Skeld felt as dead as their former crewmates these days.

Virgil caught up with Janus leaving Navigation; the anxious man had felt far more at ease sticking with his assigned duo partner than being alone. Janus couldn’t fault him.

“... It’s fucked.”, the lankier man in purple had mumbled, “This whole situation is so, so fucked...”

Janus sighed exhaustedly, “That’s one way to put it, yes.”

The silence was uncomfortable. Neither man usually minded such a thing, but it felt unbearable now. So much so, Janus was thankful as Virgil spoke, “Why’d Dr. Picani have to die?...”.

Both of them were aware of why, but Janus assumed it was rhetorical, a theory confirmed as Virgil continued to mumble, “He was so nice, man. Never pressured me with my medical anxiety or anything, never made me sit through tests that’d freak me out. Helped make me feel secure but... Now nothing feels safe anymore...”

“Indeed, we lost a good man. Several good men.”, Janus felt Virgil cringe beside him, looking away.

“...... I didn’t….”, Virgil huffed, his eyes trained anywhere else but Janus’ face, “I never wanted to… to see Pat like that. He was my friend, Jan! Shit, he was like a father to me! He made me feel welcome when I transferred here but-!!”

A reassuring yellow gloved hand rested on Virgil’s shoulder, “I’m sure he knew, Virgil.”, Janus reassured him, “What’s done is, regrettably, done. Irreversible. We cannot get back those we’ve lost, but we can survive in their name. Let’s just hope that you were all right to stop me-”

Crunch.

The wet crisp crunch of something organic tore Janus from his thoughts.

“... Did you hear that, Virgil?”

Frozen rigid, Virgil gave a shaky inhale, “I… I don’t think so-”

CRUNCH.

Janus didn’t bother to ask if Virgil heard it that time. He took off down the hallway, headed for the nearest room; Electrical. Virgil’s footsteps began to gain on his own, giving him the reassurance of backup when they reached the doorway. Damn. It was locked. The disgusting wet tearing sounds from inside made his stomach churn, “Virgil… on three.”

Virgil looked mortified at the idea, but he nodded, readying himself as he and Janus got ready to break in the doors. Thankfully for their shoulder joints, the doors opened. Not so thankfully, both men were treated to a horrendous sight.

The twins had always playfully argued over which of them would come out on top.

It seemed now they had their answer.

Hunched over the remains of his brother was Roman Prince, his red suit absorbing the bloody remains splattered across it, leaving almost no trace. In his hands, Roman held various chunks of flesh torn from his own kin whose lifeless eyes were open wide in a twisted expression of surprise and betrayal. Roman himself had gone rigid, caught like a deer in the headlights, pitch black eyes darting between Janus and Virgil as they sunk back to their familiar emerald green.

“I-! This isn’t-!”

With Virgil unmoving beside him, Janus sprung to action, using their reporting device to activate the teleporter again. He cursed every extra second it took compared to the emergency button, watching as Roman managed to morph and clean himself up before they found themselves once again around the table. Remy’s eyes darted to the empty space Remus had once occupied,

“.... No. Don’t you fucking tell me...”

Virgil went to speak but Janus got there first, pointing a deadly determined finger towards Roman, “Roman’s the Imposter!”

Roman stiffened, “Wha-!?”

Janus wasn’t about to let him go free; he had a witness now, and a good chunk of evidence to condemn him with; “Virgil and I walked in on you eating your own goddamn twin! Everything else begins to make sense if it’s you too; the blackout especially, since you were working in electrical. You were also rather vocal with your accusations too, which would make sense considering it took the attention off of you!”

The defeated look in Roman’s dull eyes was the most delicious dessert in existence, seeing the monster look ready to confess, Janus gestured to Virgil,

“Virgil can back me up, right?!”

Silence.

“.....Virgil? Back me up here-”

“Janus,”, Virgil’s voice was ghostly fearful, his eyes hidden behind the long purple dyed bangs he sported, “Stop lying.”

“.... What?..”, the shiver of fear, bone chilling fear, that rattled through Janus’ marrow and constricted his lungs was a harsh turn from his formerly confident demeanor.

“Roman and I saw you eat Remus, Jan...”

This wasn’t happening.

“We walked in on you tear… tearing him to shreds in electrical…!”

This wasn’t happening…

“Just like you did with poor Logan! And Emile!”

This couldn’t be happening…

“Playing like you were the one who wanted to save Patton when…!! When you were the one who-!!”

Janus’ head swam with nausea. His mismatched eyes finally locked on to Virgil’s, barely visible to Remy, but all too familiar to Janus…

“Disgusting, lying Imposters like you-!!”

Those pitch black eyes that betrayed his glee even as his broken tone relayed the false narrative.

“Should rot in space!!”

Remy cast his gaze between Roman and Janus, landing on Roman, “Ro, babes, is that true?!”

Roman nodded, dumbfounded, “I-It’s true, he-”

“He tried to get us too,”, Virgil continued, faux shaky voice ringing in Janus’ ears.

Everything made terrifying sense now.

Virgil, a new transfer from a sister ship, who had his own (likely fabricated) medbay scan on hand and who was too anxious to have Dr. Picani perform a second, making the crew think there was just one Imposter.

Virgil, who would think to tell Roman remove the names on the medical files, even if the red crewmate didn’t do a perfect job.

Virgil, who was close with Patton, and had begun to befriend Logan, earning his trust, leaving him one of the few people who Logan wouldn’t suspect approaching him in the dark.

Virgil, who was smart enough to drag Logan’s top half into the vents and leave a handprint in medbay to frame Patton further. All too willing to throw the poor man under the bus.

Virgil, who stuck close to the only person left smart enough to suspect their scheme, waiting for the right moment to strike when Janus sealed his own fate.

“..... You son of a bitch.”, Janus breathed in disbelief. His anger bubbled to the surface before he could stop it, “YOU SON OF A BITCH-!!!”

Roman and Remy’s arms wrapped themselves around Janus’ arms and body, holding him still while all he could do was writhe, “What do we do now, babes?”

Virgil answered Remy’s question with a firm, faux anxious reply, “The airlock..”

Janus’ heart stopped in his chest.

“We… We had to lose Patton that way so…. So it’s only fair the REAL Imposter goes that way too!!”

He didn’t go without a fight. Janus made damn sure of that. The alien bastards wouldn’t get the satisfaction of him going quietly. He clawed at Roman’s face, ignoring the parasite’s tightening grip on his arm to the point he thought perhaps it would break. He spat hellfire and vitriol at Virgil who watched from a distance, content to let the smirk he’d been hiding show now that Remy couldn’t see.

Oh god, Remy. Janus tried desperately to appeal to the last true human left,

“Remy, you HAVE to listen to me, they’re not human, both of them are-!”

But Remy didn’t listen, following Roman’s lead of tossing Janus once more into the airlock. Fortunately, Janus had been able to hold onto his helmet as the door closed, sealing his - and by extension, Remy’s - fates. Trapped and waiting for death, he locked eyes with Remy who looked as sincere and guilt ridden as expected. Is this how Patton felt? So helpless and scared to die? Janus felt almost guilty knowing his suit still had a full canister of oxygen left to last him…. Hours? Maybe a day? Then he’d be at the mercy of space the way Patton was without his helmet to protect him.

As the countdown reached 15 seconds, Janus watched helplessly as Virgil gestured to give Remy a hug. The way Remy accepted the arms of death only for Virgil’s stomach to split and devour the poor man tore the last of Janus’ resolve to shreds.

With the countdown reaching zero, Janus Dolion faced the two Imposters watching him with a smug sense of glee, flipping them both the double bird as the outer door opened...

The Imposter couple watched Janus be sucked into the vacuum of space with a sick sense of victory. They’d done it; the Skeld was theirs and theirs alone. Of course, that was until a rescue ship could come for them and the cycle would start over again. The thought alone was intoxicating.

“... I’m sorry.”, Roman murmured from beside Virgil who’d already taken to fabricating injuries they could use to trick the rescue party. The purple suited alien snorted, wiping the last of Remy’s blood from his mouth, “What for, Prince Parasite?”

The crimson clad Imposter scoffed affectionately.

“I nearly got us caught.”, Roman’s suit growled, “I was just… so hungry…!”

Virgil softly wrapped his arm around Roman, gently caressing his beautiful jawline with a softness no hostile alien parasite should be able to use.

“It’s fine, you drama queen. We still did it,”, he grinned, shark toothed and infectious going by Roman’s own razor smile, “Now you just have to put those impressive acting skills to use once I call in a rescue ship.”

“Aww, you think my acting is impressive?”, Roman’s chest puffed up in pride.

Were they not standing right next to a pile of gore that has once been a fellow crewmate, Virgil figured the starry look in Roman’s blackened eyes would have been endearing. Adorable even. Instead, the Imposter rolled his eyes, they still had work to do after all. There’d be plenty of time to properly celebrate later..

“Shut up, Roman... ” --

Man that got dark fast...

I hope you guys still enjoyed it and that the reveal was nice and shocking~!

If you like this, I’ll write some supplimentary stuff, perhaps some fluff prequel snippets, and perhaps a little sequel?

Idk yet, but I hope this was a good read.

Taglist: @somehow-i-got-an-account @cateye-glasses @fandomsofrandom @patton-cake @does-this-look-logicality-to-you @justalittlecorrupted @irritating-lady-knight @katlikethesword @ali_is_lazy

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halothenthehorns · 3 years ago

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THE HOUSE-ELF LIBERATION FRONT

I was originally going to save the opening for this chapter for the end of the book, but then I was looking at my notes and saw I already had a crap ton for that, and this really is a pressing enough question to get in now. Thanks for all the lovely reviews and support!

HPHPHP

Try as they might, even in the face of the dragon nightmare from the last few chapters, neither Sirius nor Remus had forgotten their intentions to try and have a private conversation regarding what they'd finally had confirmed for them in Moody's first lesson. Something had happened to Harry the night his parents were killed, something involving Lily and her ability to save her son, and the two desperately wanted to try and talk about it out loud in hopes sharing some ideas would make some sense, but without the others around. They loved Lily like a sister and this was going to be hard for them to focus on, neither of them wanted the other three around as it would only be worse.

Neither of them had a clear idea what could even be said, but they'd always come up with their best ideas spit-balling to each other, so Remus decided to get the worst of it over as he blurted, "have you ever heard of anything that Lily could have done to save Harry?"

Sirius chewed on his answer for a few minutes, denying that he was holding back a yawn, as he said softly back, "nothing comes to mind, and I've been trying to figure it out since I first heard about this. Nothing can block the Killing Curse."

"You don't think it's just something undiscovered," Remus tried to wheedle, "not even a rumor that you can work with?"

Sirius shook his head and insisted, "not a peep, and I can't imagine how that would change in the next year. I wish we'd said something about it to Harry in the Shack," Sirius' face twitched with the most base hatred one can hold at the mention of that place before continuing and ignoring it, "but at this rate it doesn't look like the three of us are going to be in the same room for a while. Merlin knows if we even know then."

Sirius knew quite a few things the others didn't from his Black heritage. As a child, he'd questioned one to many things and if they regarded their ancestry he usually got an answer, though the vile nature of them really have led him on the path he was now. The fact that Dumbledore had suggested the Fidelius Charm for them to hide under meant that this must be the most powerful thing Dumbledore could find to keep them alive, so it clearly wasn't any good magic that had saved Lily. Then again, it had been Dumbledore who said that Harry had been saved by the love of his mother, and even back in the first chapter it had been implied Dumbledore might have some idea of what had happened, but hadn't shared it with Harry.

It was another of those questions where they just couldn't help but wonder what their old headmaster was doing to their lives. Did he know and was keeping it from them, to what end? Did he figure it out after the fact, and decided Harry was too young to know? Not unreasonable, but still information Dumbledore shouldn't even be the one to share, it should be Sirius' decision at least now.

They talked for as long as they could until they couldn't take it any longer. The vision of Lily dead in front of her wailing child was most certainly going to feature in their nightmares tonight as long as they had lingered on the subject, so while neither wanted any rest, sleep took them before either had even made it to the stairs.

James grinned as he came down the stairs the next morning, with the baby in his arms, to see his two friends passed out on the sofas. He'd known from the moment he'd left they were going to stay behind and talk about something, and he knew his friends well enough to guess the topic. The sight wasn't even that unfamiliar, in school they'd often gone down to the common room late at night to pick apart each others brains and fallen asleep down there.

Remus slept like an Inferi, dead until activated, but Sirius was usually a light sleeper so even as James tried to creep past them into the kitchen, Sirius began stirring. James only just got Harry into his highchair when Sirius entered from behind.

The two chatted in sleepy mumbles for a few minutes before Sirius shook himself hard to fully make sure he was awake before he dug in for something he knew he needed to talk about.

"Alright Prongs, out with it," Sirius sighed, hopping up onto the counter and swinging his legs around in an attempt to just look bored, but the tense set of his shoulders made it clear Sirius actually thought he was in trouble.

James frowned, struggling for a moment before plastering a grin on he knew full well Sirius wouldn't buy, but hoping his friend would take the hint and stop asking anyways. "Don't know what you're talking about."

Sirius eyed him for a moment, clearly considering this very thing, as he knew that there weren't many things James wouldn't tell him. If he wasn't talking without some hard prodding, then it was either something about Sirius himself, or James wanted to handle it himself. Sirius had just decided he really would drop it, if James wanted to be silently jealous then Sirius wasn't going to keep at him, when Ron's face flashed across his mind. Sirius had never even met Ron, but he could understand where Ron was coming from in his anger. He was more frustrated the boy hadn't stood by his mate, but Sirius didn't want something to linger in James if he could get it out of him. So instead he pressed, "go ahead and have a yell at me, something. I know my interacting with Harry is bothering you."

James groaned as he leaned on the counter beside him and muttered, "I'm not angry Sirius, not really. What can I even say? Fine, I'll admit it bothers me that you're the one Harry's been looking to for advice, but it's not like I'm there and he's choosing you over me, I'm just not there." The pain that tore out of James' throat even as he got that last part out made Sirius all the happier he and Remus had their conversation last night without Prongs around. He didn't need any other stress on his life right now; and since it hadn't done them much good in the end, it really would have just made things worse for him right now.

Even as the rest of the house stirred James and Sirius managed to keep up a lighter and friendly banter between them now, even having gotten it out in the open had made James feel just slightly better.

The two looked far happier than they did going in as they sat down for the next chapter. Everyone took the spots they had before, James even passing the baby to Remus again while Lily sat next to him.

It was Lily's turn to pick up the book where they'd left off, which she did with only a slight tilt of unease. Harry had just survived the first task, surely nothing too bad was going to happen in the very next chapter.

Harry, Ron, and Hermione were heading up to the Owlery in search of Pig,

"Nice to hear the trio of names again," James smiled.

so that Harry could send his letter to Sirius about how he'd gotten past his dragon.

"Best letter I'll have gotten in ages," Sirius smirked, before catching sight of Harry and quickly adding, "not that I'll have any doubts you could do it even without my advice."

Harry was filling Ron in on everything Sirius had shared with him about Karkaroff, and while at first shocked at the news, Ron quickly agreed he was an obvious suspect.

"Didn't miss this though," Remus grumbled testily. He may have forgiven Ron, but his attitude was going to still bother him for a while longer.

Pointing out what they'd heard on the train about Malfoy saying his dad and Karkaroff were old friends, now they knew from where.

"Got a point there," Lily sighed, remembering back to that moment and how they'd hoped they were just being paranoid in thinking the same.

Ron did add though that if it was Karkaroff doing this, he'd be feeling stupid now, Harry had only got a scratch from the first task.

"Hopefully that's the worst you do get," Remus agreed.

They found Pigwidgeon, but Harry began having difficulties tying his letter to the minute owl.

"Got to love the little guys enthusiasm," Sirius grinned, still unrepentant he was the reason Ron had that particular owl.

Ron had to snatch him out of the air to hold him still long enough before releasing him again, Ron still babbling about his confidence now Harry was doing so well he had no doubts Harry could win this tournament,

"I'm more focused with you living through it, then fourth place would seem like a blessing," James huffed.

While Harry agreed, he couldn't quite seem to do so out loud, something of what Ron said lingering with him. He couldn't have really won though, right?

he was being serious.

"No, I am!" Sirius blurted with the proudest smile on his face like he'd just made the end of all jokes.

Lily knew ignoring him wouldn't actually make him stop, but it was still better than retaliating and letting him keep going.

Harry knew Ron was being overtly kind because of his previous attitude,

"Not that it's really helping," Remus grumbled.

but Harry didn't deny either that he smiled in appreciation.

Hermione frowned at Ron though, reminding Harry had a long ways to go before he should start thinking like that

"She's such a buzzkill," James snorted.

seriously.

"I still don't believe she could do any sort of believable impression of me," Sirius sniffed, this time James did reach around and smack him for it.

Ron told her to stop being such a sunshine.

"It's good to be agreeing with Ron again," Lily chuckled.

Harry watched Pig soaring away with a heavy roll of parchment, his letter to Sirius had been filled with every bit of detail Harry could offer about his match with the dragon.

"I can imagine that giving me a combination of heart failure and pleasure," Sirius nodded.

"I'm just glad you didn't get a chance to make an appearance," Remus scoffed, "you would have pissed yourself in the stands and drawn attention to yourself."

Sirius stuck his tongue out at him.

Ron caught his attention by saying they should head downstairs for Harry's surprise party.

"Well it's not a surprise now!" James threw his hands up in exasperation.

"Wish the surprise was they hadn't done it," Harry rolled his eyes.

Ron was right, the moment they stepped into the common room they found it decked out for a party. The twins had gathered everything they needed from food to entertainment, plus Dean had used his art skills to put up posters such as Harry's battle with the dragon, and a few of Cedric's head on fire.

The Marauders gave appreciative laughs at that, though Lily and Harry couldn't find it that funny. At least Cedric was okay for it.

Harry finally felt able to laugh along and chat with everyone, Ron and Hermione by his side all night. He hadn't felt so happy in months, and he wouldn't have to worry about anything again for months.

"All bright spots that I will cherish as long as I can," Lily agreed.

Lee had come over to talk to Harry, and had grabbed up his golden egg to investigate it, then asked Harry to open it for all of them to hear what was inside.

"Now that would have to be classified as cheating," Remus raised a surprised brow. "Getting the whole of your house to help you with that."

"I wouldn't put it past anyone else to be doing the same," James waved him off with honest curiosity of what this was going to be.

Hermione tried to say that was against the rules, but Harry quietly reminded her so was her helping him past his dragon, too which she grinned.

"I just love it when Hermione points out the rules when they don't relate to her," Sirius snorted.

After more prompting from the rest of his house, Harry did indeed open the seal on the egg, and it fell open with a wail of noise. The high pitched shrieking was horrid, the only comparable noise was the saw music at Nick's deathday party.

"That sounds like a pain in the ear," Remus winced in sympathy, rubbing at his own ear in just the thought.

"What on earth would be making that noise?" Lily asked as she tried to guess what this had to do with the tournament's second task.

"Banshee," Sirius offered with a frown.

"No, I heard that once," Harry corrected, thinking of Seamus' boggart, "and this wasn't that."

"Hard to really guess since we can't actually hear it," James pointed out with a pout.

Harry had to struggle to get his wits about him before shutting it back, everyone now watching him with a bit of fear. Seamus pointed out it sounded kind of like a banshee, maybe Harry would have to go against one of those next.

"I'd still take that over a dragon," Sirius shivered.

"I don't think that's it though," Lily frowned, "the tournament usually has three separate events, not the same thing like getting past a creature every time."

Neville stuttered that it had sounded like someone being cursed with the Cruciatus.

"You can't fight that," James shivered in disgust at the thought.

"And there's no way that would be in the tournament," Remus agreed.

George told him that was ridiculous, they wouldn't use a curse like that on the champions. Then he offered it had sounded like Percy's singing, maybe Harry would have to go after him in the shower.

"I like his suggestion the best," Harry grinned as they all burst out laughing at that suggestion. For some reason what George had said seemed to linger in Harry's mind. Why would Percy be a stand out at his next task though, he shouldn't even be there.

Fred then offered Hermione a jam tart to change the subject, which Hermione did not take.

"Why?" James asked innocently enough. "Do the twins often spike the food?"

"Rule number one of the Gryffindors," Harry shrugged, "don't take anything the twins offer you without expecting something."

"Now where have I heard that before," Lily rolled her eyes as the Marauders all smiled at that.

Fred grinned at her, promising he hadn't done anything to them, it had been the custards he may have tampered with.

"Which clearly means he's done something to those tarts," Sirius' smile widened.

"Unless he was trying to double cross them," Remus grinned as well. "The twins wouldn't tell what they'd spiked, so of course people would be fooled into thinking the creams are okay, then they'd eat those anyways."

"You boys worry me," Lily told them before James could continue the convoluted idea.

Neville, who had just bitten into a custard cream, choked and spat it out.

Causing all five of them to cackle. That could have been the joke all along of course, just to make someone think they'd eaten anything.

Both twins laughed at his response, before promising it was all a joke. Hermione took the offered food, but then asked how had they gotten all of this? Fred quickly said that it had all come from the kitchens, the house-elves had been begging to give it to them. They'd go fetch him something exotic if he asked for specialties.

Sirius smacked his lips in appreciation. He'd loved testing them to the limits to see what they would bring him, and they'd never let him down.

Hermione asked where the kitchens were.

"I see Hermione's taking your advice," Lily grinned. She really hoped Hermione would meet these house-elves and see how most were treated.

Fred at first went into all the details of it, before cutting himself off as he scrutinized Hermione and asked why she wanted to know.

They'd been so stressed for so many chapters in a row, that perhaps they're continued giggling of anything the twins did was possibly being exaggerated, but no one seemed likely to stop soon either.

Hermione quickly tried to act innocent, but George wagged his finger at her, telling her not to go getting ideas of rebellion into their head.

"That could be some potential mayhem," James smirked.

"Kind of wishing we'd thought of that," Sirius agreed.

"You value your meals to much to try and put the house-elves up to anything," Remus snorted.

Fred agreed they'd all be pissed if she put them off their cooking.

"Unless Dumbledore specifically told them to stop, nothing would actually put them off their cooking," James corrected, shuddering in horror at the very idea.

Neville caused a distraction by sprouting the feathers of a canary.

Which drove any talk of house-elves back out the window and a nice new round of laughter, no one in doubt it had been the twins.

In between his own laughter, Fred managed to apologize and admit it had been those creams he'd hexed. Less than a minute later and Neville had molted, then joined in the laughter.

"Good to see he knows how to laugh it off," Remus said warmly, thinking of previous times something like this had happened and very glad Neville had never once seemed to turn bitter about this.

Several people were murmuring in curiosity at the twins idea, as both boys quickly called to all listening ears that they were selling these Canary Creams for only seven Sickles.

"I can not put into words how excited I am they're still on about this!" Sirius squealed, bouncing in his seat at this new idea of the twins.

"They clearly have a gift for it," Lily agreed.

They went up to bed much later, and as Harry was laying down in his bed he pulled out his miniature Horntail and placed it on his bedside cabinet.

"Wait, so you kept that little dragon!?" Sirius asked in disgust.

"Yes," Harry shrugged, "but he ran away that night. I don't really know where he went either, I always wondered if Crookshank's ate him."*

"I hope so," Sirius muttered, while Remus went a little wide eyed and demanded:

"Did you say a dragon got loose in your common room, and you never reported it, or even looked for it!?"

Harry looked honestly confused as he asked, "Ah, no. Why would I?"

Lily suddenly released a burst of laughter and gasped, "Oh Merlin, I'm just picturing that thing getting out and going to live in the forest or something."

"I hate you right now," Sirius scowled at her. Even if he did know the magic of it would make it vanish after a few months, he didn't even want to picture running across one of those in his Forest.

Harry watched it curl into itself and begin to snooze, thinking as he drifted off himself Hagrid wasn't all wrong, they weren't all bad those dragons.

"Yes, yes they still are," Sirius grumbled mutionisly. He didn't care Harry had got past his, he still wanted nothing to do with the beasts.

December was hitting the castle with icy winds and mounds of snow. The warm fires and thick walls managed to keep the worst of it out inside the school, but Harry pitied those from the Durmstrang ship.

"Oh I'm sure they have it charmed on the inside to be plenty warm," Lily corrected, at least hoping Karkaroff would do this for his students. Even an old Death Eater had to at least pretend to care for his students, right?

"Even if they don't," James rolled his eyes, "don't they come from somewhere even colder? This can't be anything new to them."

Beauxbatons didn't look much better in their caravan, though Hagrid was commonly seen making their stay as comfy as possible. So far he'd kept to the task of providing their horses with their prefered drink of the single-malt whiskey, the fumes of which often drifted across the grounds and made the Care of Magical Creatures class going lightheaded. This was not helpful, as they still needed their wits about them around the skrewts.

"At least their blast ends will keep you warm," Remus muttered as he tried to repress a smirk.

Hagrid began a lesson by pointing out that he wasn't sure if they hibernated,

"Hagrid's extensive knowledge of these things really keeps me warm," James frowned. He liked Hagrid as a person, but that didn't change the fact he really wanted his son to drop both of his extracurricular classes lately.

so he'd prepared some boxes for them to try out, all they had to do was lead them inside. There were only ten of them left, apparently their kill drive had not been walked out of them.

"At least their dropping numbers is encouraging," Sirius chuckled.

The class did not look encouraged to be trying to force the brutes into pillow lined boxes.

"Can never deny Hagrid's enthusiasm though," Lily murmured in an almost affectionate tone.

The task did not go as planned, as the moment the skrewts realized they were being nailed inside mayhem broke loose, and soon the ground was strewn with smoldering blankets.

"Sounds like a disaster zone," Remus raised a brow, still unable to wipe his own smile off his face.

"Sounds like a party," Sirius agreed, both boys half regretting Kettleburn never did get these for their class. At least they'd know the end result of whatever Harry was dealing with.

The majority of the class took off running, Malfoy and his group in the lead as they hid inside Hagrid's cabin, but a few stayed out to help round them back up.

Hagrid was trying to convince his students not to go frightening them as Harry and Ron were forced backwards, throwing sparks at the skrewt advancing on them, the stinger on its back quivering to strike.

"I am genuinely certain the skrewt isn't the one frightened in this situation," James's brows just kept traveling up his forehead, like he was torn between wanting to laugh along with his mates at something involving these fascinating beasts, and the ever perplexing question of Hagrid's sanity regarding them.

They were momentarily distracted by noticing Rita Skeeter leaning against Hagrid's fence.

"I really wish Hogwarts had a stricter visiting policy," Harry snapped. He'd been quiet and only mildly concerned about his well being with the skrewt around, at least he felt safe in the knowledge Hagrid would handle it in the end, but the moment she was mentioned his annoyance went right back up.

Hagrid jumped onto the last skrewt then, pinning it to the ground long enough to loop a leash around it before turning his attention to Skeeter and asking who she was.

She quickly stated her title, and Hagrid frowned at her as he stated Dumbledore had banned her from the school,

"Ha!" Sirius released a bark of righteous laughter. Finally, Dumbledore really was still good for something!

"I think Hogwarts needs security," Lily sniffed, "guards around the school or something to stop her waltzing in the front gate, especially as Dumbledore specifically said she wasn't allowed in."

"Guards on gates yes," James approved, "but inside the castle and on the grounds? Come on Lil's you'll kill all the fun."

'As if Harry needs any more fun,' Lily mentally grumbled, thinking it would solve a few of the problems they'd had, but wasn't going to argue the point for now.

as he dragged the last skrewt to its comrades.

"That should really be telling us how indestructible those things are," Remus shivered, his mind still slightly distracted from Rita by those things. "Hagrid, landing on that with his considerable weight, and it's still able to walk!"

"I really wish Hagrid would tell already where he got those things," Sirius agreed.

Rita pretended not to hear that as she asked what these creatures where, and Hagrid told her with some pride.

Rita was confused, saying she'd never heard of them and asking where they came from.

Hagrid flushed in shock and didn't immediately answer, leading Harry's heart to sink as the question first occurred to him.

"His answer's just all kinds of encouraging," Lily muttered. They'd already guessed sure, but his not answering wasn't improving their mood.

Hermione stepped in by diverting attention to Harry, asking him how interesting he found these creatures.

"Why would she draw attention to you!" James spluttered in outrage. "That's all you need is for her to launch another article soon as she catches sight of you!"

"I can't blame Hermione," Harry sighed, "I'd have done the same thing if I'd thought about it long enough, to divert attention away from Hagrid."

Harry quickly agreed after a prompt stamp to his foot from her.

"That wasn't necessary," Remus snorted, he knew Harry would have agreed without it.

Rita was very pleased at seeing him again, at once launching into questions for him, such as was this his favorite class?

Harry agreed at once, noticing Hagrid beam.

"Still true," Harry grinned unabashedly. DADA may have been one of his best classes, but Hagrid would always be his favorite teacher, no matter err, the interesting things he brought to said class.

Rita asked Hagrid how long he'd been teaching, her eyes lingering on the still fearful students inside Hagrid's place and the remaining ones outside who were all slightly injured from the ordeal.

Hagrid admitted this was only his second year.

"And he's off to a great start," Sirius couldn't help the sarcastic spew. "Nearly sacked his first year, clearly up to something at least minorly illegal this year."

"Got to love Hagrid," Harry agreed without the same tone.

Rita was definitely interested now as she asked Hagrid if they could set up an interview.

"She's insane!" Lily scowled. "Hagrid will know that's a mad idea just from what she's already done to Harry!"

"You'd really think she'd take a hint," Remus agreed.

She wanted to pick his brains for their Wednesday article on zoological creatures for the Prophet, perhaps feature these Bang-Ended Scoots?

"Think I like that better than Hagrid's name for them," James snorted.

Hagrid quickly corrected their proper name, but did indeed agree this sounded like a good idea. Harry got a very bad feeling as they set up a later time to do this, but didn't know how to warn Hagrid with Rita watching.

"Don't know what you're bothering to be subtle about," Sirius rolled his eyes, "I'd shout it in her face what a terrible idea that was."

"I knew the moment I really said anything to her she'd twist it," Harry sighed, "if I had told Hagrid not to in front of her who knew what she'd put in her next article about me."

Considering she'd most likely be doing it anyways, Harry's caution most likely wasn't going to be useful, but they couldn't blame him for trying.

The three of them headed off to the castle uneasily, wondering what Rita was going to say about Hagrid. Hermione was worried Rita would find out Hagrid had imported those skrewts illegally.

"Yeah, I absolutely believe that," James sighed as he rubbed at the bridge of his nose.

"Hagrid wouldn't admit to that though," Sirius reminded with plenty of confidence.

Ron did remind though that Hagrid had been in trouble before and Dumbledore hadn't done anything against him, worst that could happen was Hagrid would have to get rid of the skrewts.

"Worst?" Remus repeated with a light smirk. "I'd think he'd call that a good thing."

Then Ron corrected he'd meant best.

"Is there an echo in here?" Sirius snickered while Remus rolled his eyes at him.

They all laughed as they headed off to lunch.

Harry found Divination that afternoon very enjoyable again.

"There's something I never thought I'd hear," Lily laughed.

"Don't know what you're talking about," James told her with an almost straight face, "I think she's a lovely one."

"For a laugh," Sirius tacked on before they all started laughing again.

They were still tracking planets, and Trelawny was still trying to insist all the horrible ways they were going to die, but now that Ron was his friend again, they were a snickering mess as Trelawney went into the details of Pluto.

"Well that is the Roman planet of the Greek God Hades, lord of Death," Sirius rolled his eyes, "wouldn't surprise me that's her favorite."

She tried to keep up her mystic tone as she watched Harry reprovingly, stating how some would find it best to take her class without the frivolous attitude.

"And I would think," Lily shot back, "that you would take a bleeding hint, and realize Harry doesn't give a single care of you're bleeding predictions."

"Some people just can't take a hint," James told her with an earnest smile, making Lily give an indulgent grin back.

She trailed off into how just last night she'd been absorbed in her orb, gazing into its powers, and whispered to the class if they could guess what she'd seen.

Ron muttered under his breath a reflection of a glittering bat.

Lily had to actually pause for several minutes the boys were all laughing so hard. A combination of all the pent up stress leading up to the dragon, and this by far being the most lax chapters they'd had since Harry's name had come out of the Goblet was making them all a little punch drunk with giggles.

Harry fought to keep his laughing repressed even as Trelawny dramatically finished with, death! She finished with an obvious look at Harry again, who yawned.

"That was a kind response to what I was thinking," James wheezed out.

"Still didn't get through her thick skull," Sirius snorted.

As they were leaving, Harry was complaining that it may have had more of a hit if she hadn't used the same line over a hundred times now.

"My point exactly," Lily shook her head.

Pointing out if he'd died every time she said so, he'd be a walking miracle.

The good mood was still persistent enough that they all chuckled at Harry's comment, but it didn't quite erase the reminder that he'd actually had some pretty close calls that made them feel Harry wasn't exactly wrong either.

Ron agreed he could be some new kind of ghost.

"Your own original species," Sirius nodded in agreement.

"No thanks," Harry shook himself, he didn't like to think about dead things much.

Ron was at least pleased that they didn't have homework from her, hoping Hermione did as he always loved not having to do any while she did hers.

"Always something to lord over your friends," Remus agreed.

Hermione didn't meet them for dinner though, and though they went to the library to find her, she wasn't there either. They did find Krum, and Ron at first began a whispered debate of whether he should ask for their autograph, but then he caught a group of girls doing the same and lost his enthusiasm for the idea.

"Don't see why," Sirius stated, a wide grin creeping across his features. "I'd think it would actually encourage him to go get that autograph, go back to the girls and show off-"

Remus begged Lily to cut him off before they had to hear anymore.

The two boys had just made it to Gryffindor tower and had opened the portrait to go inside when she caught up to them, at once trying to drag Harry back off and babbling that he had to see something!

James spluttered a bit in shock, unable to stop the worry as he demanded, "now what!?"

"Relax," Harry soothed with his head cocked to the side, he felt nothing bad for this. "Hermione looked excited, not upset."

Lily eyed him for a moment, gauging how truthful that was, but when Harry clearly meant it she did keep going with honest curiosity.

Harry tried to ask what was going on, but she just wanted to show them!

They ran off after her, the Fat Lady calling behind them in annoyance that they shouldn't bother apologizing for leaving her open!

"Has anyone?" Sirius rolled his eyes. She was testy this year.

She'd just stay here wide open until they got back.

"Fairly certain she's not allowed to do that," Remus snorted.

Hermione dragged them all the way back through the castle, down to where the Hufflepuffs came up for their meals.

"Ooh," the Marauders said in understanding, though they remained just as confused as before. Hermione must have found the kitchen, and the house-elves, but that really didn't explain her excitement. Harry hadn't shown any enthusiasm for her S. P. E. W. gig.

Harry still remained as baffled as the others, but when understanding struck and he realized where Hermione was taking him, he also couldn't stop some happiness bubbling up in him as well. Something good was going to come of whatever was going on, he was at least sure of that.

The passage was brightly lit, with all sorts of paintings of food lining the walls.

"I don't know how the Hufflepuffs stand it," Remus said tragically, "having to walk past food so many times a day, how can they not be constantly hungry."

"Glad I don't have to know," James grinned, "though I bet they're on the best terms with the elves out of all the houses."

Harry realized where he was just as Hermione stopped in front of a large painting, asking if this was more spew stuff? Hermione tried to say it wasn't, but something else, but Ron laughed and asked if she'd finally changed the name to House-Elf Liberation Front?

"HELF?" Sirius snorted, "honestly that one's not as bad. Least it would be a little harder to make fun of."

Hermione promised this had nothing to do with that, she just wanted to show Harry something.

Harry was watching them all curiously, but clearly they had no more idea than him what was so exciting Hermione was going on about it.

She turned back to the picture of fruit, tickled a pair, and a handle appears which she quickly wrenched open and pushed Harry inside.

Harry only got a glimpse of the enormous kitchen, with all sorts of cooking supplies and a warm fireplace,

"Ah that brings back the best memories," Sirius' grin kept stretching wider.

"That place was as familiar to us as the Forest by the end of our first year," James agreed.

when something tackled him around the middle, squealing about Harry Potter!

Lily blinked down at the pages in shock as her mind tried to process what elf would be down in the kitchens squealing over Harry, none of them should have even met him.

When she looked up at Harry to see if he had any ideas, she saw him blinking in shock, his mouth flopping uselessly, and though she had a curious idea as the only elf this could be, she still read.

Harry glanced down at the elf hugging the life out of his middle as he gasped out Dobby.

"Wh-what!" Sirius spluttered, his face quickly flipping from shock to outrage the fastest. Despite his pleasure in the justice Dobby had dished out to Malfoy, Sirius still held no love for the critter that had genuinely tried to maim Harry at some point.

"I knew it!" Harry yelped in relief, clearly noticing no such feelings pouring off of his godfather. "I just knew I'd run into Dobby again! What on earth do you think he's doing there?"

"Best guess?" Remus offered indulgently at Harry's clearly laughing features. "Dumbledore might have hired him. Last we heard he was looking for a paying job, Dumbledore would be the first in mind to indulge in such things."

"I think that's brilliant," Lily agreed, ignoring the still flabbergasted James and stone faced Sirius.

Dobby agreed it was indeed him as he released Harry and stepped back so that he could properly see him. Dobby still had the same features as the last time Harry had seen him, but looked much different in the clothes.

"Yeah, like the fact that he's wearing clothes," James chuckled as he shook off his own disbelief.

He'd done an even more odd job of putting together an outfit than most wizards at the World Cup.

"And that's saying something," Lily giggled.

Wearing a tea cozy for a hat, a tie with horseshoes over a bare chest, kids soccer shorts, and one black sock Harry identified as the one he'd given the elf to earn this freedom, plus the other which was orange and pink striped.

Sirius couldn't keep it up any longer, he cracked and started snickering with the rest of all the garments, but Sirius' was still tinged with unease. Last time Harry had been in danger, Dobby hadn't exactly been helpful. This year Harry was actually in more danger than he had back in his second year, and Sirius was kind of terrified what the little elf would do when he found out this time.

Harry asked what Dobby was doing here, and Dobby squealed his excitement that he was working for Dumbledore now, he and Winky!

"And Winky?" James did a double take in surprise.

"I never thought about it," Remus cocked his head to the side, "but what does happen to house-elves when they get sacked. When Harry said he knew he'd see Dobby again I didn't think about it much, but Winky?"

"Honestly, I don't think anyone has a clue," Sirius shrugged absently. "It's so rare to even fire one, what Crouch did really was an extreme."

Harry finally noticed Sirius' disinterest in Dobby, and frowned slightly at him. He'd really been hoping that Sirius had officially gotten over his hatred of Dobby, but clearly he wasn't fond of him either. At least he wasn't spouting death threats again, yet.

They were surprised to hear about Winky as well, so Dobby led them over to see for themselves.

Winky was sitting on a stool in front of the fire, also wearing clothes, but unlike Dobby's odd put together Winky's matched well with a blue skirt and matching blouse.

"So elves do have a sense of clothing," Lily giggled, her fondness for Dobby managing to increase as she realized he just enjoyed standing out.

However, Dobby's were so well cared for they all looked new, Winky's were stained and burned in several places.

"Ooph," Remus winced for the poor thing. He couldn't even begin to imagine what would be going through an elves mind at being separated from a master they'd so clearly loved. Hopefully Winky's state would impress upon Hermione what most elves were really like, freedom did nothing good for them.

Harry greeted her kindly, but she merely burst into tears.

"I feel like that happens frequently," James cringed at the idea of a girl, even a female house-elf, crying.

Hermione tried to comfort the little thing, but Dobby took no notice and kept beaming up at Harry, asking if he'd like some tea, having to speak a little louder over Winky's cries.

"Oh that sounds lovely," Sirius managed to chuckle amidst all the still strained faces at hearing about Winky.

Harry agreed, and almost instantly six elves appeared with a platter of treats and fresh tea.

"Do they just have all that in waiting?" Harry asked in surprise.

"It's prepared in advance, and then kept magically at temperature in case Dumbledore, or any of the staff, ever have a call for it," Remus shrugged.

Ron was impressed at once as he took some, but Hermione just frowned and declined.

Harry asked Dobby how long he'd been here, and Dobby said it was his first week.

"Ah, well at least I feel slightly better," Sirius muttered under his breath. He gained stunned looks from the others as they finally guessed where his mind had been, but Sirius just shrugged and really did relax back. He hadn't been able to help it though, if there was something powerfully magical enough to con the Goblet, he'd put money on a house-elf. Dobby had done some pretty deranged things in his stride to help Harry before. Clearly though, Dobby really hadn't anything to do with this.

The others wanted to call him out on such a strange train of thought to them, but Harry was so relieved to see Sirius didn't look so uptight at the mention of Dobby anymore he pleadingly waved his mother on, who heeded him.

Dobby had come to speak to Dumbledore, because he hadn't been able to find a position anywhere else. It's very difficult for a dismissed elf to find more work.

Winky's volume continued to increase at that reminder.

"I can imagine that being a sore spot for her," Remus winced, kind of wishing Dobby would take this conversation elsewhere as it was clearly upsetting the poor thing.

Dobby kept going with his explaining, saying everyone he'd talked to just shut the door in his face when he said he wanted paying for his work now. The elves that had been helping them started to edge away from Dobby at his saying that, like they thought he was being rude.

"To them it is," James agreed.

Hermione was happy for Dobby though, praising him for being like this. Dobby gave her a happy smile as he agreed, but reminded that all the other wizards had been much ruder about it.

"Ooh that poor thing," Lily frowned.

"What was he charging?" Sirius suddenly started smirking. "I honestly might have taken him up just to piss off me own. Kreacher would go mad if he had competition, well more barking."

The boys laughed along, even Harry not because he found it funny, in fact every time Sirius mentioned Kreature lately he got a nasty twist inside his innards, but just happy to see Sirius had quickly jumped right back to his old joking ways.

Dobby liked his work, but he wanted to wear his clothes, because Dobby liked being free.

"Anyone would love being free after living with the Malfoy's their whole life," Remus shuddered in full agreement.

The Hogwarts house-elves had now started edging away from Dobby, as though he were carrying something contagious.

"Doesn't seem to be gaining him many friends though," Lily frowned in sorrow for the poor thing.

"Like he cares," James scoffed, "most house-elves don't care about friends, Hogwarts is actually unique in having more than two on hand. Like Dobby said, they live for their work, so long as he's getting that he'll be more than happy."

Winky just kept up her crying as Dobby mentioned having gone to visit her and finding out she was free as well, to which the girl threw herself off her stool and began beating the ground in misery.

Lily was fidgeting terribly as she kept going, the worst feeling was that she didn't even know how to help Winky. She had no idea how to go comforting any elf, she'd never heard of one in this state! It was not a comfortable feeling for Lily who had always strived to help as many of those around her.

Hermione dropped to the ground beside her, still trying to comfort her, while Dobby continued with a bright smile of Winky's screeching.

Sirius really couldn't stop the uncontrollable shaking of his shoulders as he imagined this scene, Dobby just ignoring the fact that Winky was having a breakdown and just chatting casually with Harry.

It was then Dobby had the idea of where two elves could find work, Hogwarts of course. Dumbledore had been more than willing to pay Dobby for his work, a Galleon a week and one day a month off.

"Ouch," Remus winced, "didn't expect Dumbledore to cheap him so much."

"I don't think I'll blame him for that," James disagreed with a curious look, "think about this, it's the first time I've ever heard of a house-elf even being paid, maybe what would be considered normal for us would give the little guy a coronary. He'll most likely build up to it, I hope," he concluded, waving Lily on curiously.

Hermione was shocked at such low wages, but Dobby quickly disagreed and said it had been him beating Dumbledore down from his original offer of ten Galleons a week and weekends off. Dobby shivered in fear at the very idea of so much riches.

"There you have it," James's smile turned downright smug at having guessed this.

"Wipe that look off your face, it's not that hard to work out," Sirius snickered with no force.

Dobby liked being paid, but he liked his work more.

Hermione kindly asked if Winky was getting the same,

"Eesh, this isn't going to go well," Remus winced. If Winky was losing her mind over talking about this, he couldn't imagine discussing such other things like paying would help.

but then Winky switched. She stopped crying, but looked to Hermione with outrage. Winky was properly ashamed of being dismissed and would be doing no such thing as pay.

"There's the typical attitude," Sirius nodded, wiping his brow as if relieved the world still worked right.

"I still don't get it," Lily grumbled. "Crouch was horrible to her, what's she got to be so upset about?"

"Their minds don't work like that," James gently reminded. They'd gone over this a bit, so he didn't press his point, and neither did Lily.

Hermione was shocked at her, stating Crouch had been terrible and Winky should be happy, but Winky wouldn't hear it as she pressed her hands over her ears.

Lily still couldn't help but mutter a few bitter 'brainwashed,' comments in between reading that.

Dobby explained for them Winky was having troubles adjusting, she still didn't realize she could say anything she wanted about her old master.

Harry asked in surprise that house-elves couldn't do this.

"You haven't figured that out," James shook his head. "Remember how Dobby acted the last time he almost spoke ill of the Malfoys, and they're the definition of bad wizards."

"I was just confirming for all of them, not just Dobby," Harry defended.

Dobby quickly agreed they weren't allowed to do this at all very seriously.

"Never had a house-elf try to be me," Sirius smiled, ducking on instinct when James made to swing at him again.

It was part of the house-elf law that they were never to speak ill of their masters. Dumbledore hadn't forced this though, he'd told Dobby he could call him a barmy old codger if he liked.

"I think he's been called worse recently," Remus chuckled, "but he's got a point."

Dobby gave a frightened giggle at the very idea before quickly saying he had no want to do so, Dobby loved working for Dumbledore and was happy to keep his secrets.

"Most people would for him," Sirius muttered with a frown starting to edge out his good mood, he didn't want to think what all secrets Dumbledore was hiding.

Harry couldn't stop a smile himself as he reminded that Dobby could say whatever he liked about the Malfoys now.

"This could get fun," James still stayed in an optimistic mood, he didn't want this good chapter to be ruined just because of Dumbledore.

Fear crept into Dobby's eyes as he agreed he could do this, if he wished. Dobby even squared his shoulders and admitted that the Malfoy's were bad Dark wizards.

"Well it's a start," Remus indulged.

"Give it a few more years and he might even call them really bad Dark wizards," Sirius rolled his eyes.

Dobby seemed to realize what he'd said though, and rushed to the nearest wall and began beating himself over the head for it.

"Oh that poor thing!" Lily groaned. Even freed of those Malfoys, poor Dobby was still forced to act like that.

"I'll stop him," Harry said with confidence, he'd had plenty of practice.

Harry had experience with Dobby doing this though, so quickly seized him and didn't let go until Dobby stopped. Dobby thanked Harry, admitting it was still hard to do so, but Harry encouraged he'd get better with practice.

"And I'm sure Harry'll be happy to help," James grinned.

Winky was furious at the pair of them, telling Dobby off for speaking like that about his masters.

"I think not," Remus sniffed. "If we have them enslaved, the least they should be able to do is speak their minds."

"You keep that in mind if you ever meet mine," Sirius rolled his eyes in disgust.

Dobby stated back that they weren't his masters anymore!

Winky glared at him as she called him a bad elf, then bemoaned her poor Mr. Crouch. What would he be doing without her! Her family had always belonged to the Crouch's, her mother and her grandmother, oh what would they say to bad Winky!

"Wonder why they've had all females," Lily asked.

"Some just prefer a gender," Sirius shrugged when he realized he was expected to answer, "I'm sure it doesn't actually have any difference."

Hermione tried to be firm with Winky, telling her it was Crouch's own fault and he was doing just fine without her.

Winky slightly perked up at the information someone had seen Crouch, and Hermione agreed he'd been coming around because of the tournament, he and Bagman.

Winky looked very angry at the mention of Bagman, stating Crouch had told her all about that bad wizard.

"Well that was extreme," Remus cocked his head.

"I don't like him much anymore," James agreed, "but he's irking me. What has Crouch had to say about him?"

"Guess Winky took Crouch's complaints about how he runs his department literally," Lily offered with a shrug.

Harry couldn't help disagreeing with them, he really felt like there was something he was missing about Bagman, something Crouch would know about, and he really hoped Winky would elaborate on this.

Harry tried to ask what she meant, but Winky refused to speak anymore, saying she would keep her master's secrets, then started sobbing again. Dobby didn't seem to notice as he chatted with them some more about what he planned to do with his wages.

"What would house-elves even do with their money?" Sirius suddenly asked as the idea had never occurred to him.

"You ask just as I'm fixing to read," Lily rolled her eyes at him.

Dobby had plans to buy a sweater next. Ron heard this, and seemed to have decided to taking a liking to Dobby,

"He grows on you," James agreed while Sirius still tried to deny that was getting more true the more Dobby showed up.

and offered his Christmas jumper, so long as Dobby didn't mind maroon.

"Well that was sweet," Remus grinned.

"Though sort of agitating," Lily grumbled, his mum probably went through a lot to make those and Ron was always complaining about them and now he was just giving it away. At least it was for a good reason.

Dobby couldn't have been more pleased as Ron agreed they'd have to shrink it a bit, but it would go with his tea cozy.

"There's a sentence you don't get to hear much," Sirius grinned.

They made to leave then, the other elves popping back up and trying to give them more sweets. Hermione refused, but the boys stuffed their pockets.

"Never had a more memorable flashback to my school years," James beamed.

"This ought to become a regular occurrence now," Sirius agreed.

Harry called a goodbye to Dobby, who quickly asked if Dobby could come visit Harry, which Harry agreed at once.

"Aww, I honestly can't wait," Lily beamed, at least there was something good to look forward to.

Ron was laughing as they left about the twins, who'd always made it seem like a task to get stuff from the kitchens, but they all but gave it away.

Hermione wasn't really listening as she said what a good thing it was for the other elves to have Dobby around. They'd see how happy he was and realize they wanted the same.

"I, yeah no I can't picture that one bit," Sirius rolled his eyes.

"They'll treat Winky with more respect than him," James agreed, "and she's in disgrace, but at least she's embracing it."

"In fact hopefully this'll help Hermione more than anyone," Remus added hopefully, "she'll realize Dobby's the odd one of his bunch, maybe look into the ideologies and mindsets of the common house-elf and see how much damage she could do with this running group of hers."

Harry hoped they wouldn't take a long look at Winky instead.

Hermione tried to insist that she'd just cheer up once the shock wore off.

"It's already been how many months?" Sirius raised an odd brow at Hermione, "I think she's fooling herself."

Harry wondered what Winky's, and Crouch's, problem with Bagman could be. Hermione offered it may have something to do with Crouch complaining about how Bagman ran his department.

Ron scoffed he'd rather work for Bagman than Crouch, at least the first had a sense of humor.

"A good point I can't deny," Sirius nodded along. He was an annoying bugger when he came to Harry, but still leagues better than Crouch.

Hermione laughed as she told Ron not to go letting Percy hear him saying that.

Ron agreed Percy wouldn't work for anyone who could take a joke, since he wouldn't recognize one if it danced naked in front of him in Dobby's tea cozy.

Causing one last release of laughter in the room, a very good omen for how this morning was going as Lily passed James the book.

HPHPHPHP

*Was anyone else insanely disappointed when this thing was never mentioned again? I think it would have been adorable, or at least had a few funny moments if it had just popped up once or twice again.

#Harry Potter #fanfiction #reading the books #Marauders #GoF #James Potter #Jilly #Lily Potter #Remus Lupin #Sirius black

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xlehukax · 5 years ago

Text

Start of Something - A Fateful Meeting (Pt. 1)

-Writing a little series on here as a warm up! In accordance to @orangelegs‘s Hogwarts AU! Updates won’t be on a set time, but they’ll come eventually-

The Gryffindor and Slytherin Quidditch tryout Friendly. An event attended by the most avid of local Quidditch folk of Hogwarts… scoping out the upcoming and new Quidditch players could mean seeing the future of the sport. Many a Quidditch master has come out of these tryouts, and it makes sense that people would flock.

Virgil didn’t think this many though. He’s been sitting on one of the benches close to the commentator’s booth, watching in thinly veiled apprehension as people fill in the seats next to him. The only reason he’s here is because Logan asked him to be: the commentator frets endlessly that he’s going to be left behind by the other rotating student commentators. They’re not nearly as statistically advanced as Logan… perhaps a bit more charismatic, but otherwise, Logan is ahead of the game by far. His sketchbook lies open, waiting for some interesting drawing to adorn it. Virgil sighs. Who is he kidding?

He’s also here to check out Roman King. As Logan put it, he’s ‘infatuated’. The Gryffindor had been a chaser for three years now, one of the very few to be put on the team in his very first year. Popular as all hell, maybe one of the most talented chasers ever to grace the school team, regarded largely as being the most attractive guy in school and completely oblivious to his existence.

Why wouldn’t he be though? Virgil’s just a quiet, rude, prickly Ravenclaw. Besides Logan, who he’d met in childhood and not Hogwarts, he has all of zero friends. His sketchbook mocks him with its emptiness now: they both know that the only thing going to be drawn in it is little doodles of Roman flying about on his broom.

“I’m sorry, is this seat taken?”

“I guess now it is. Sit, fine, just don’t bother me,” Virgil hisses at the offending person, an enthusiastic Hufflepuff. His face has game paint, done in Gryffindor colours. It’s crude, but not the worst Virgil has seen sitting in the crowd. The boys things are thrown at his feet, and he produces his wand from his pocket and uses an altered version of the Red Sparks Spell to show his pride loudly and boisterously. Fuckin Hufflepuffs.

“Could you cut that out? I’m trying to focus here,”

“Oh! I’m sorry. Should I leave?”

“Well, you already got all your things all over so I’d say you should just sit tight. Don’t want to make things a bigger mess,”

“O-okay, I just don’t want to intrude, but if you say it’s alright…”

The Hufflepuff adjusts his glasses and settles next to Virgil. It’s only a few moments of silence before he breaks the silence again.

“I think we got off on the wrong foot. Hi! I’m Patton!”

“Hi Patton, I don’t care,” Virgil rolls his eyes, and starts sketching the number 6 chaser who is stretching down on the grass of the pitch.

“Oh hey, great drawing,” Patton notes, peering over Virgil's shoulder, “Is that Roman King?”

Virgil pulls the book to his chest, a plethora of cursing sounding off in his mind. No no, it won’t matter, everyone has a crush on Roman! Or you can say that this is just for the paper, or I’m practicing or something…

“Do you have any manners? Mind your own business!”

“I’m sorry, again… um… who are you here to see?” Patton continues to pester Virgil. Virgil rolls his eyes, accepting at this point that the only thing that will stop Patton from attempting conversation is moving from this stellar seat, and that’s not going to happen. Best just talk to this ‘Patton’ and hope he stops talking sooner rather than later. And doesn’t say anything about the sketches.

“The name’s Virgil- I’m a friend of the commentator. He likes someone to give him constructive criticism about his commentary after the match. According to him, I’m the only one he can trust to be brutally honest with him,” Virgil sighs, leaning back to look at Patton and putting his sketchbook aside. Patton’s eyes go comically large behind his glasses, and a light blush dusts his cheeks as he peers at the dark haired commentator in the booth nearby.

“You know Logan… I- uh- that’s his name, right?”

“Uh… yeah! How do you know him?” Color me surprised. Someone here flustered over the nerd.

When he thinks about it, Logan certainly isn’t unattractive. But they’ve been friends for so long, he honestly doesn’t see Logan in that way at all.

“He sits next to me in Transfigurations. Logans… really super smart. And nice… he helps me with the switching spells when I can’t get them. He makes them look easy,” Patton squirms in his seat, his blush deepening. Virgil’s not stupid: he knocks Patton’s shoulder with his. This Hufflepuff has more to him than Virgil initially pegged him for if he’s holding a flame for pocket protector.

“You like him!”

“Nooo!”

“Yeah, you do, I’m not dumb,”

“Well- if I do then… you like Roman!”

Virgil is flushed all at once, and shoves Patton. Hard. Patton simply giggles, laughing at him. Virgil can’t help how the corner of his mouth rugs up into a half smile.

“Shut up!! Doesn’t everyone?”

“It’s true! Ah! Don’t worry, I won’t tell him,” Patton presents his pinky in childlike fashion, to which Virgil ignores in favor of the more important knowledge there.

“You know Roman?”

“Yeah, we’ve been friends since the Sorting Hat in our first year.”

The horn is blown for the Friendly to begin, and briefly the two boys turn their attention to the match. Roman is there, flying about faster than anyone else on the pitch, his brother Remus on the opposing Slytherin team seemingly purposefully beating every matter of ball at him.

There’s a new Seeker on the Slytherin team as well… it’s easy to tell who it is: Janus, the one who everyone is sure is He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named spawn due to his magic-induced snake features. Almost all the other players completely ignore him, letting Janus rely on himself to dodge incoming Bludgers on the hunt for the snitch rather than act as a team. Sort of sad, but the potential Seeker seems serene. Remus, oddly enough, is the only one who consistently protects Janus: wisely, he sticks by the Seeker knocking all the bludgers sent his way to Roman and bumping the Gryffindor seeker when he gets too close. Logan points this out from his tower.

“Patton-” “Virgil-” they overlap each other, both laughing after.

“You go first,” Patton allows.

“Now, this is only if you want to, but what if we introduced our friends to each other? I’ll get Logan to open up to you, if you can get me a solid introduction with Roman. Butter me up and all that. How does the afterparty in the courtyard sound?”

“Deal!” Patton squeals, presenting his hand to shake. This time, Virgil takes his hand wholeheartedly.

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98prilla · 5 years ago

Text

Seeking Oblivion

AO3

...

It was… unnerving, Janus had to admit, walking through such a dead, quiet imagination. Virgil had taken the lead, eyes scanning the forest, head slightly cocked as he listened for anything approaching.

Idly, he let his hand trail through the mist, watching it part around his fingers. It didn’t even feel like anything. Nothing did. He was used to the imagination having substance, depth, birds singing, wind blowing, the thousand little details that made it all feel real.

Even the vines, huge as they were, didn’t seem fully really… real. There was no sound, not even their own footsteps made noise against the ground, no smell, from the earth or the vines or mist, and nothing different to see for miles. The land itself didn’t even have any character to it, it was all one endless flat plain of vines the size of redwoods and the smoky fog that obscured the ground. At least that made it easy terrain to traverse. They were making better time than anyone had anticipated, though now that they were getting deeper, it was getting harder to keep their bearings.

He let his pace slow just a tad, falling back to walk step in step with Logan. He seemed lost in his own thoughts, and Janus didn’t want to interrupt him. So he simply waited, walking silently until Logan seemed to come back to the present, acknowledging his presence with a small nod.

“Janus. Is there something you needed?” Logan’s voice was even and calm, and it was an absolute lie. And that was partially Janus’ own fault.

“No. But I have something long owed you, if you’ll have it. An apology.” He replied softly enough the others wouldn’t hear, but Logan could. This wasn’t their business, but he owed Logan this.

“For what, exactly?” Logan, not pausing in his stride, though some barely repressed emotion flashed across his face.

“A multitude of things. The most recent of which is pulling you out and replacing you yesterday.” He noticed Logan rub his neck where his cane had hooked him, wincing as he saw a flash of a bruise peeking out from under his collar. “I did not mean to hurt you, physically or otherwise, and I know I did both.” Logan looked hard at him for a moment before sighing, clasping his hands behind his back.

“What did you hope to accomplish, in impersonating me at that juncture?”

“I hoped they would listen, that Thomas, at least, would listen, before things went any farther. And they would have never listened to me, as I am, not then.” Logan let out a small, bitter laugh.

“Clearly you weren’t paying attention to events before you pulled me out. Patton skipped me. I did not agree with his views, so he decided no one needed to hear them. I already minimized my presence as small as it could be without being completely gone, and even that was not enough.” He was shocked at the amount of hurt Logan was displaying now. He’d known the logical side was not alright for quite a bit, but he hadn’t realized how deeply hurt he was.

“and I’m sorry for that as well, because I am guilty of silencing you when your opinions did not align with mine. I excluded you from the trial because I knew you would be able to much better defend Thomas, yes, but also because I was trying to show Patton, specifically, that his moral code was flawed. Regardless, that doesn’t excuse my actions, or my part in keeping you from being heard. You should be listened to, Logan. You have so much of such import to say.” They walked on in silence for a moment, Logan’s brain clearly turning over everything he’d said.

“I understand why you took the course of action you pursued. I also understand the frustration of not being listened to or ignored when you have the solution everyone is seeking, if only they’d take you seriously enough to listen. I appreciate the apology, Janus. You… are the only one who has apologized for anything, in regards to my treatment. I… don’t fully forgive you, yet, but… but I think I will, given time.” He nodded, tugging at his gloves, a small smile tugging at his lips.

“Of course. I look forwards to earning your forgiveness, Logan. And, for the record, I have always found your lectures interesting.” Logan’s eyes were on him again, scrutinizing him. “Also, I know when you lie, about emotions, and the having of them, specifically. If you ever do want to discuss them, not a word of it will leave the threshold of my room.” He responded seriously, making sure Logan could see he means it. “you’re the one who said repression doesn’t work, Logan.” He threw in for good measure, and finally Logan sighed, adjusting his glasses.

“That was prudent of me, wasn’t it?” He laughed at the wry dryness of Logan’s voice, not missing the small upturn of Logan’s lips as well. “Perhaps, once this is resolved, I will take you up on that offer to… ‘spill the tea’, as it were.”

And that’s where Roman would have laughed. Janus could feel the absence of his booming voice, his bright laugh, in every echo of silence that passed by. He let out a long breath, trying to see anything ahead, but finding nothing new as he continued to follow Virgil’s lead, thankful for his impeccable inner compass as he kept companionable pace with Logan.

…

“We should stop.” Everyone looked up from their tired trudging at Virgil’s own tired voice. It was the first thing he’d said since they started walking, who knew how long ago. There didn’t seem to be any sun or day/night cycle, everything was the endless, growing gray.

“I concur. We need a break to rest. We should try and sleep for a few hours, at least.” Logan added, wincing slightly as he sat, feet sore from more walking than he was used to. “I would advise everyone avoid the thorns. You can experiment later, Remus, when we aren’t already on a quest to rescue a creativity.” Logan added, side eyeing Remus, who was about to lick one of the thorns. Remus huffed but plopped down to the ground, spread out like a starfish as he swung his arms and legs back and forth across the ground.

“Um… whatcha doin, kiddo?” Patton asked, looking down at Remus, who stopped his furious movement for a moment.

“Making mist devils.” He replied, sitting up. For a moment, a perfect outline of Remus stayed imprinted in the mist on the ground, before it coalesced once again. Patton’s eyes widened and he giggled.

“That’s pretty neat! Mind if I join?” Remus’s eyes widened and he smiled, small and hesitant, a real smile, as he nodded. Logan sighed, watching the two of them flail on the ground, devolving into giggles as they tried to make different shapes with their wild movements. It wasn’t rest, but they were relieving tension, and at least they seemed to be getting along.

Virgil had slumped to the ground as well, knees hugged to his chest, head resting atop them. That pose always meant he was worried. So did the eye shadow he wore, already a shade darker than when they had entered.

“What if we can’t fix whatever is wrong with Roman?” Virgil blurted suddenly, the thought clearly having been revolving through his head all day.

Janus sat down beside him, resting a hand on his knee, feeling him just barely shaking.

“we will.”

“How can you be so sure? We don’t even know what he’s done to himself! I mean, look at this place! And Remus said he didn’t feel anything, nothing, from Roman! What… what if we’re too late?” He asked, quieter, voice shaking, and Logan moved to sit on Virgil's other side.

“We have overcome all of Thomas's previous dilemmas, yes?” Virgil nodded. “And, though difficult, we have each worked through our own personal dilemmas together, correct?” once again, Virgil nodded. “and we are all still growing and changing and coming to terms with ourselves and with each other. But we have always gotten through it all by working together. It stands to reason this will be no different.” Logan finished, watching Virgil carefully, feeling a spike of pride as he saw him using the 4,7,8 technique.

“I know. I… I’m just… I can’t stop thinking, y'know?” Virgil said, running a hand through his hair. “I'm just worried. He went through a lot, yesterday, and I know how that can mess with your head.” He mumbled, not protesting as Janus wrapped an arm around his shoulders, letting his head rest on Janus's chest as his other arms wrapped around him, reminding him of the weight and pressure of his weighted blanket. It felt like home and he nearly cried, burrowing further against him, exhaustion from the trek and the day before and all the stress in general cresting over him now that he felt safe.

“get some rest, love. You could use it.” Janus murmured, and Virgil could feel a hand massaging his scalp. He nearly purred at the gentle touch, letting his thoughts go as he slipped into sleep.

…

“you’re rather good at that.” Logan commented, rolling his eyes as he looked over to see Remus and Patton had fallen asleep playing with the mist, and were now snuggled on top of each other, both snoring slightly. Janus followed his gaze and chuckled.

“I had plenty of practice. His Dark Days were something to behold.”

“Dark days? As in when he lived you as a ‘dark side' as Roman called you all?” Janus shook his head.

“Not quite. When… when he first formed, he was afraid, so afraid, of everything. He couldn’t stop the panic attacks, he was paranoid that everything and everyone was out to get him. Being in his room for barely a minute was unbearable. It took a long time to build trust with him, longer before he would let me help him. He slowly got better at managing, at recognizing the worst of the irrational thoughts, at not isolating himself quite so much. It was hard, the hardest was getting him to believe he deserved anyone’s kindness, getting him to fight for himself.” He shivered slightly, remembering the creeping fear of Virgil's room, the voices whispering, distant screams, eyes watching him from the corners of the room, shadows moving in the edge of his vision. Virgil’s own growling, echoing voice, tempest tongue tempering every word he said with that dark reverb that somehow only grew louder until it drove you insane.

“I’m proud of him. I’m proud of you, Janus.” His eyes widened as his gaze shot to Logan. “You’ve come very far as well. I know none of that was easy. Trusting us, wasn’t easy.” Unconsciously, Janus rubbed at his wrist, the ghost of bare skin making him sigh.

“I suppose not. But it was necessary. If I wanted your trust, I had to give some of my own. It… is terrifying. With the little I’ve given, how easy it would be to break me down. I know that you won’t, but it still doesn’t change the power you all hold over me now.”

“We haven’t done a very good job of showing you the benefits of trust. Recently, only the downsides have been demonstrated. None of us have been at our best for some time now.” Logan answered, sighing. Janus smiled tiredly, shifting away his extra arms, idly stroking down Virgil’s back as the side’s eyes twitched in his sleep.

“We should try and get some sleep. Remus is a font of energy, he’ll be up in a few hours badgering the rest of us until we get moving again.” Janus commented, Logan frowning.

“unless Roman’s state starts influencing Remus as well. I know they are linked, but I am unsure of the depth of their bond.”

“I hadn’t thought of that. It’s… unpredictable, how it affects him, sometimes. I’ll keep a closer eye on him just in case, I know his tells better than anyone else.” Logan nodded, smiling a bit fondly as he looked at the pile of Remus and Patton.

“hopefully we’ll have Roman back with us soon enough we won’t have to worry about it.” Logan answered, settling on his side on the ground, watching Janus do likewise, noticing his slight shiver now that he was closer.

Without thinking much of it, Logan moved closer, curling around Janus, who had laid down facing away from him, Virgil curled against his chest, still.

“Is this alright? I noticed you were cold, and with our combined body heat, you should be able to reach a more optimal temperature.” He asked, ready to withdraw, but Janus shook his head after a moment.

“It’s alright. This… is nice. It is warmer.” Janus replied after a moment of thought, and Logan shifted closer, resting his head in the crook of Janus’s neck, closing his eyes and falling asleep instantly, missing Janus' own small, happy sigh.

#sanders sides #tss #logan sanders #sympathetic logan #virgil sanders #sympathetic virgil #patton sanders #sympathetic patton #remus sanders #sympathetic remus #deceit sanders #sympathetic deceit #roman sanders #sympathetic roman #logan angst #deceit angst #a little fluff

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