#everyone knows that's MY drawer
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No stim toy has ever worked for me aside from the blue wire ball I found inside my work drawer today. I'm fascinated. I don't know who this belongs to but I'm keeping it
#what even was the original use of this thing#like it looks like a bingo cage without the hole for lil bingo balls to drop out from#plus why would anyone have a bingo set that's palm sized#so you can brign it with you wherever you go? what is this#who left it in my drawer#everyone knows that's MY drawer#i-#idk i'm so confused#small text post
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Here's Amos' ex and the guy Nameless Bard has beef with I guess
(Amos and the rebellion gang)
#genshin impact#genshin impact au#the art drawer#might edit everyone into the boss fight plus that Amos with a gun special attack when I get the time#but anyway yeah#this is a bit different from the usual Decarabian designs I have in my drafts for other AUs but just know the sleeves always stay the same#also something something astronomer/alchemist Decarabian hc because why not#like look at the city and whatever's going on in that tower#in songs and spires au
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in the same vein as that recent terror post. season 2 should have just been crew shenanigans. like yeah we all died and it was horrible but before things got crazy we did some wild shit to keep from being bored
also the episodes should absolutely have the same emotional depth and bandwidth and punch
major points:
-james fitzjames and dundy historically accurate pillowfight
-george hodgson practicing an instrument (woodwind?) and driving the rest of them bananas. maybe people start hiding his clarinet or w/e in increasingly weird hard to find places
- peddie and the ‘where the hell have all of our ointment and oils and lubricants gone’ adventure (spoiler: theyve been used for distinctly nonmedical purposes)
- billy gibson and the stewards versus endless laundry. maybe they have a minor revolt about it
- chefs diggle and chefs wall cookoff contest
- cornelius hickey tries to enjoy his day off and shirking his work only to be roped into stupid menial stuff and unable to escape (jopson et al know what they’re doing)
- irvings watercolors and singing classes keep going terribly wrong
- a day in the life of: Fagin the cat, Neptune the dog, Jacko the capuchin
- please feel free to reblog with your own ideas these are cute to think about
#maybe ill draw them????#if ive got time. i have tests today#pomodoriwhines#the terror#the terror amc#george hodgson: *stomping around the terror* WHERE IS MY CLARINET. literally everyone else on board: ‘oh no. how tragic’.#meanwhile it’s been strapped to the underside of the drawers in CFDVs bunk on the erebus#(des voeux doesnt know its there. when someone tips george off charles has one of his worst evenings to date#(george has stolen the clarinet back and waited for des voeux to go to bed before playing it loudly with poor breath controll right outside)
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tragically i did forget to make link wear crocs with socks. he would do this for the record. you will have to imagine them in your head for now
#ughhhhhh btw i hate colour differences between screens so so bad i cannot understate it <3#i feel too drained to go back and forth checking and making minor corrections... -_- but i must anyway#anyway hope everyone is doing good. not much on my end but i have drawering ideas i shall get too sooner or later#trying to take it easy though as to not wear myself thin . as much as i can anyway#i dont know what else to do today though......... -_-#personal.txt
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in my head a lot of your selfship dynamics have the purity of two kids going to collect bugs together, take that as you will
they teach me how to practically catch and take care of the bugs and i teach them how to love and “understand” them 😌
weirdo 4 weirdo dynamic once again reigning supreme!!!!!!!!!
#answered#this did make me tear up ngl to u#you know i used to be a bug collector but ill tell everyone else too#i used to love bug collecting as a kid and tbh it became more serious as i got older bc I studied every one of them i caught#mostly just observing and taking notes#but my mom about lost her shit the day she found a pencil box full of dead spiders in my drawer 💀
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You know I was really hoping I wouldn't have to make a list of rules for my printer, but here we are, making a list of rules for my printer
#people are putting too much sign stock in the drawer and then I wonder why my signs are getting depleted so fast#they just put random shit in there too and it's like no??? stop???? cuz I have a stack of the old old signs in there to boost the height#so everything prints properly (if the paper is too low for the signs they won't print but they're not a standard paper size)#and I'll come in and find a literal ream of signs in there like no!!!! stop that!!!!! I have things this way for a reason!!!!!!#my signs are organized PRECISELY so I know what I have and what I may need#and then everyone else just comes along and messes with it#no wonder I had all those fucking printer problems a few weeks back
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I see so many posts about cats being dumb that I honestly question if the countless cats I've been around my whole life are/were real or not. I've only ever met one dumb cat. Every single other one would win at chess if their far superior brain, geared towards bigger achievements, could spare time to comprehend the rules.
#garrett.text#it's so funny reading those posts#meanwhile cats I know irl (when I had them or who belong to other family members):#one got so pissed off at their owner doing something (can't remember what) that they shat on their bed. on purpose#we know it was on purpose by the way#another one memorized when I woke up for elementary school and would claw at the door to wake me up if it didn't go off#waking me up at 7am on weekends#my sister's cat was a distinguished gentleman who hated people and requested paper toilet bowties#cats would know humans get mad at fighting. so they would wait until everyone was out of the room before slapping each other#if you walked in they'd stop and play it off#one cat figures out door handles#my sister's cat liked watching these lines of bugs that would crawl on one specific floor spot in the bathroom#sister got a new cat#so he would walk this new kitten over to the bathroom to show off the bugs every day#my friend's cat came up with different meows for different treats. and would use them when asking for it#another cat figured out out to open drawers so she could sleep peacefully in there away from the light and noise#and don't get me started on the Stealth 100 stealing foor from your plate if you tilted your head away and running off before you noticed it#cats are so smart#ngl I started this post for fun#but the more I write#the more I hate the cats are stupid meme trend omg I neep to go to sleep
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anytime i wanna complain abt cleaning my room i feel like such a kid lol
#like you're 24 years old wdym u get overwhelmed by the thought of cleaning ur room#i have a lot to complain abt it n its mostly bcs i dont have a space to leave my shit bcs my wardrobe is full of my stepfather's clothes n#stuff my mom has put that isnt mine like 😐#that and the drawer in my room thats full of my grandma's stuff like 😭 i could use it for my own stuff n yet :-/#it has like 5 things to use n i only get ONE#and idk it frustrates me so much bcs yeah im a messy person!!!!!! i know!!!!!!!!!!!!!#but i also have no space for my shit!!!!!!! and of course in 10 years i'd get more stuff!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#plus i also have a disorder that makes it harder for me to be organized!!!!!!!!!!!#and when i was a kid no one ever treated me like that!!!!!!!!!!!! no one ever took the time to teach me on how to be organized with that#disorder and now im suffering the consequences!!!!!!!!!! but i can't rlly blame the adults bcs none of yall knew!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and it just#frustrates me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i ended complaining either way lol anyways.#i feel like a lot of my frustration with cleaning up is that growing up everyone treated it as a failure#i've always been a messy person and everyone treated me as if that were a failure n not smth that was enhanced by a fucking disorder!!!!!#'ohhh you're so messy!!! your room is so messy' n u couldn't have helped a kid to be more organized#if i were diagnosed younger i feel like lots of my frustrations wouldn't exist#jo.txt
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trying to self-sooth instead of sob by imagining someone being gentle with me but i can’t remember what that’s like so my brain can only send in the grubbiest triple-faxed blobs and like, it’s not cutting it
#got yelled at for eating a banana#i was apparently not allowed to eat the banana#because i also had one (1) slice of an orange#and the banana was for dad#because there’s no other fruit#which i couldn’t know because the fruit bowl disappeared#and there IS more fruit it’s a whole drawer full of mandarins#but my mother watches me cut the banana and eat the banana and then while i am washing up#yells at me for it calling me a selfish shit#it’s just a fucking banana#randomness#ANYWAY good morning how’s everyone else’s day going
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my secret favourite trope is the whole like finding someones sex toys
i eat that shit up
#「mercury speaks」#im speaking small bc its a secret#i think this comes from the fact that everyone i know ever thought i was like an innocent type and then my bedside drawer is like#casual 9 inch#casual butt plugs#casual bluetooth vibrators#everything in order here#tw: sex toys#ig?
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I’m housesitting for a coworker and her life is just the dream
She’s got a cute, incredibly clean small house that’s very organized and clearly has thought put into everything to make it convenient
She’s got gerbils and birds and a dog
She’s a librarian
She travels and takes lovely trips
Of course not everything is exactly my taste but she’s got a life I can see myself having, one I want that doesn’t follow the traditional format
#her nontraditional life i reference is that she doesn’t have kids#and doesn’t plan on it#I don’t think she wants kids#which I know isn’t exactly rare#but I see myself in her and what she values in life and what kind of life she has built#which does not seem common in my life#it probably also has to do with where I live#everyone I know wants to get married and have babies#and those I know who aren’t like this aren’t really like me#she is married though#so will I be able to afford a life like this without the combined incomes?#hopefully#she’s got LIGHTS IN HER DRAWERS AND CABINETS#I opened up the pantry in the dark and A LIGHT CAME ON#incredible#she’s got a nice air fryer I plan on using#my thoughts#she doesn’t have a garden but minor details
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zin from a week ago again. I don't want to break, so I'll be in a drawer for a while.
#scheduled post#I really do feel like a toy#I know I'm fun#people like playing with me I'm aware I'm aware#but sometimes I get scary#and I feel like I'm going to get broken soon#and then everyone will leave me#I'll get put down and not picked back up again#I know I should trust that my friends would tell me#if they had a big problem#but I'm trying to stop that from needing to happen#so I'm just#going away for a while. in a drawer#getting fixed
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[and the rest of the post!]
...... but her circumstances have recently changed.
by cutting frank out of her life (both because she wants a future he's not offering and because she wants to punish him; i have plenty of thoughts about that too), she has eliminated her only source of friendly human contact. she and frank bonded over being hated by everyone else! they encouraged that in each other! but now... she’s all alone.
hawkeye is now in the business of making digs on frank's behalf, and that's another social avenue closed off. she was becoming friendly with both hawkeye and b.j. — they're the first people she told about her engagement! — but (largely because of how clueless and obnoxious she was in that episode) frank got the swamp rats in the divorce, so to speak.
so she's lonely to the point of distress, but she's so boxed-in by her inflexible belief in power structures and has been terrorizing everyone since we met her, so she can't easily walk that back without... abandoning her hold on those power structures long enough to apologize (which i noticed she doesn't do in this episode, but when in her whole life would she have ever seen an authority figure apologize?). and taking a cheese grater to her ego, because it's not like people are going to immediately embrace her, so she'll deal with rejection while she tries to change.
and what if they make fun of her to her face instead of behind her back — which is worse??
i find it telling that they call her 'hot lips' when she's not around — and i'm sure she knows they do. in the script, the act one tent scene is much longer, and the nurses debrief the O.R. shitshow and then drag margaret for a page and a half before she arrives:
and then on-screen, when mary jo tries to protect gaynor (the one on the top bunk with dark hair):
sorry for the gazillion caps; i swear this is actually the readers' digest version oh my god
having this episode right after "lt. radar o'reilly" is such a brilliant accident, because dear sweet radar just put words to the tragedy and loneliness of military success. radar was jealous of the officers in theory, but is so much happier back among the grunts, because it's better to take disrespect and abuse from above together than to take it from below while isolated and alone.
from season 5 "lt. radar o'reilly":
which is exactly what's happening here!! margaret has wanted this promotion all her life, but she probably didn't picture having it in the middle of nowhere. she has no family waiting at home for her at night, no peers she can relate to, not even a terrible boyfriend in her tent anymore. she barely knows her absent fiancé; would she dare send him an honest letter about her day that isn't all sunshine and idealized presentation?
so with all that, whether or not she deserves it, i love that the nurses offer her an olive branch at the end.
earlier, margaret started the professional reconciliation by finally allying herself with the nurses and protecting them in front of colonel potter. it's long overdue; up until now, we have only seen variations of the opening O.R. scene, where she criticizes them in public instead of rising to their defense. this part of their dynamic is entirely on her to mend — no one else can help her.
and then, later...
the nurses are far more emotionally aware than she is. this is the best possible move they could make — it defuses another potential standoff, and it's their way of thanking margaret for letting baker off the hook. it shouldn't have to be up to them to change the culture and improve their relationship with their supervisor, but they're honestly more capable of it. and it's very sweet how margaret immediately responds.
the nurses are all adult women who value their social connection with each other, and they recognize someone in distress who doesn't really know how to initiate kindness, and took a chance to show her. <3 <3
i hope this improves things for everyone! i think it will! and i definitely hope margaret thinks long and hard about all this, because if she lets it, it could really change her life.
tl;dr: poorly socialized feral cat domesticated by the mortifying ordeal of being known and one (1) cup of terrible army coffee.
[i reblogged the tumblr post where i found the script here.]
i know some of you have been pressing your faces to the glass waiting for me to see this one in particular SO i saw "the nurses" the other night and am still thinking about it!!
i love love love it when characters get pushed to a point where you can almost see their childhood selves pop out, like are they even talking about what's happening right now? or are their 12-year-old hearts just screaming?? i love that margaret's outburst is both irrational (the hostile work environment is coming from inside the house; i was yelling at my tv "baby it's your fault!!!") and so so honest.
[this turned into a bit of a character thesis, so not only is there a readmore, there will also be a reblog soon with the rest of the post because i maxed out the image limit!]
this whole time, margaret has treated her subordinates with a heavy hand because she thinks it's the right and fair thing to do. the rules say this is how it works!
she maintains a high standard of excellence in brutal circumstances, but she's also reactive, moody, and unforgiving. she's often shown on the edge of losing control and authority, she inflames situations by overreacting, and the thing she punishes most egregiously is disrespect (toward frank, toward the army, toward herself). she intentionally underlines the distance between herself and the other nurses at every turn.
from season 3 "there's nothing like a nurse": [all IDs in alt]
really, everything she thinks and does comes from a place of "they're not supposed to like me," but the childish part of her that is completely unable to see her own behavior is confused and hurt because "i'm just doing my job so why don’t they like me???"
it's her job to maintain discipline, but especially here in 4077-land, she doesn't have to lead with the whip. henry was beloved because he was an overly permissive clown, which will never be her speed, but colonel potter has all the same training as she does. he's loved and respected as the Good Regular Army Guy because he leads with discernment and mutual respect.
it's easier for him. he's more experienced, he's respected and supported from above and below, and he has a calm temperament — which isn't nothing.
from season 4 "the interview":
whether she's aware of this as a problem or not, we at home can see how margaret's inability to control her emotional reactivity causes her as much grief as her inability to control other people.
if she were capable of laughing off small slights, hawkeye and trapper wouldn't have used her as a chew toy so much, and henry might have taken her real concerns more seriously if they weren't lost in the noise of daily fits, you know? she rarely started it, so i'm not blaming her for the hostile chaos circus of seasons 1-3, but i am saying she would have had a better time if she knew how to take a few deep breaths.
this description from the script, after the near-brawl in the nurses' tent in act one, is basically her character thesis statement:
and here, when she's reacting fully emotionally, the truth comes out! the reason that she won't be flexible and show compassion to the nurses isn't because of the rules, but because they're mean to her!!
that's obviously a very bad place to lead from. she has enormous institutional power over them, including controlling their freedom of movement, but she feels like all the other girls in school are hanging out together and they hate her. because they are! and they do! the fight in act one boils over when they make fun of her hair, and that sent all of them back to middle school.
and in many ways, that's where margaret's emotional maturity is stuck (which is, i think, why i find her so endearing). she can't see herself. she knows they don't like her, trust her, or want her around, but she doesn't understand how she dug this hole herself, or how to get out of it.
to add insult to jealous injury, one of the nurses (mary jo, who gets between margaret and baker to stop the fight and takes care of the others in different ways) is margaret's age, and the others look to her as their chosen leader and personal support.
and i'm sure margaret had NO IDEA this was the messy truth until she heard it come out of her mouth.
and her emotionally breaking on the "one lousy cup of coffee" in particular…
i wonder, how often does some version of that first tent scene happen? does she deliver their assignments every night? she walks in already defensive, they immediately stop laughing, and then... she either finds a reason to scold them or they ice her out until she leaves. (and they probably start laughing again as soon as she does!)
from her perspective, when she arrived for the dreaded sleepover and they turned out the lights the minute she walked in, it's like they cancelled the nightly coffee klatch just to avoid spending one social minute with her.
i also think the nurses are right when they assumed that she wouldn't have accepted an invitation to hang out with them (and might even have snapped at them for being inappropriate for asking). she doesn't cross that emotional line, even when she should — she didn't know gaynor was spiraling after losing so many patients in a row, and didn't respond compassionately when she learned.
has she ever invited them for coffee or a friendly chat? no.
...... but her circumstances have recently changed.
[reblog coming soon with the rest of it!]
#whew!!!!#apparently i think about her a normal amount#i want you all to know how very restrained i was actually in keeping this to the episode and not pouring out all my ill-informed headcanons#since i have seven seasons left of character knowledge still to go#but i can't help imagining what margaret's experience was as a junior officer herself because i suspect it was the time of her life#and maybe she had a supervisor who was also super strict (which would help her thrive!) but was more fair about it#(and probably didn't have a frank burns around to constantly defend on the job)#so margaret would have loved this supervisor and seen her colleagues do the same even though they got tough love in return#and so margaret just doesn't see the difference -- so is stuck in the 'why don't they like me?????' and can't see the answer#(even though the answer is so! obvious! to everyone else!!!)#mashblogging#margaret houlihan#<- in case anyone is coming from afar and sees this i don't usually use character tags it's all just a mashblogging junk drawer#so feel free to dig around the rubber bands and paper clips#mash#edit: whoops forgot two caps they're in there now#deep dives
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yknow
tbh, being on tumblr has made me realize that what makes me love an author isnt soley for how they write and are able to create complex characters (or in the case of fanfic, expand even more on them) but they way they interact and talk just..normally ig? I suppose thats why ive never been able enjoy ff on wattpad or ao3 as much. Not that i dont, but in its own ways its very different. On tumblr i love to read ff and see the tags or even the reposts and asks later on with questions or connections other readers make. Makes the huge ff community seems cozier and smaller.
I guess what im saying is, youre a really nice person in how you write and how you present urself here. Ur blog is cozy, i like it. :>
anon
ur responsible for these tears
#my biggest fear is coming off as aggressive bc I know I get overexcited & yell alot on here I’m so glad u feel comfortable on my blog#i feel the same way !! i love all my nonnies & mutuals & everyone on here#it’s very nice :> on this platform#everyone is very nice#thank you so much nonnie im cherishing this forever#i hope u have the best life ever#︵ ree’s candy drawer
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Not as drunk as I want to be...
But I can feel it
#i left a drawer open lol#i have canker sores (hormonal) and im miserable#im scared and i dont know why#im lonely#i had trauma dumped onto me#i feel stupid#i have no idea what's going on#everything feels pointless#i feel like everyone hates me#and im confused#but im conscious enough to know these feelings are temporary#amd I have my cat#so..... not everything is lost
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It's funny to me how everyone who has hermit crabs when asked will admit to a favorite, and it's always the biggest crab in the tank. doubly so if the crab is a jumbo.
the jumbos are always the favorites
#im no exception fkfldjdla#batmans my oldest and hes my biggest of my three jumbos and he is absolutely my favorite#there's just a lot of pride in having a jumbo sized hermit crab#like i did good they've made it this long also look at the Size Of This Guy#for me to i did not know what i wss doing when i got batman hes lived though so much bad crab care#AND being a mertile beach crab hes from a tourist shop in mertile beach where my friend bought him#both him and gan both#they were kept in a drawer on vaction for several days i have no idea how batman even made it to my house fkflsjsj#the fact hes like 12 is insane#fab talks#fabtalks#batmans everyones favorite but hes so charming hes impossible not to love fkfkdjfkskd#leviathan also did not have it great either he was a petsmart crab#but like gan i feel worst for my best friend like despite my best attempts was not great at crab husbandry so gan spent about like 5 years#in very poor conditions but she's really adapted well since i took over her care#well enough that she's tormented me through several egg seasons now
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