#everyone keeps doing this and i'm tired!
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I'm sick of people ignoring me til the moment they need something from me sickkkkkkkkk
#everyone keeps doing this and i'm tired!#and it's also my fault because i'm a fucking doormat since i spent years being treated as a favours-machine#as the only positive interaction i could get from people#and now i can't break free from that mindset!!
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"karasu search how 2 cheer human up"
"karasu search difference between sad human and zoning out human"
"karasu search how long is it safe for humans to zone out for?"
(+ a longer look at each scene:)
#art#gif#obey me#this was meant to be a quick test. it was not quick. i think this is was the longest i've spent on drawing something since rolling ik#for some reason procreate keeps fucking up the colours on export and i'm too tired to figure out how to make it stop#can you tell that satan and lucifer were animated first?#funnily enough satan showing ik his book was pretty simple but lucifer walking was like. impossible. he kept turning out fucked up#i was so worn out by the end of it that everyone else's animations are way simpler#(the walk still doesn't look right but i've made peace with that.... i should've done some tutorials or smth first)#(such is my hubris: when i try to do new art things it's mainly by brute-forcing my way through it and hoping it works)#jtta ik#obey me lucifer#obey me mammon#obey me leviathan#obey me satan#obey me asmodeus#obey me beelzebub#obey me belphegor#anyway i'd like to experiment more with trying to animate things in future so!! look forward to that?
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Some past fiddlestan? (Like Ford just went through the portal. He gone now. Past. Yk?)
The mystery misery yaoi
#the angst potential is so juicy#I understand why it might not be everyone's cup of tea but I like the idea of them being so 'toxic' for each other (after the portal#incident. if they met before I think they'd be pretty healthy and wholesome)#like. Fidds is already kinda losing it because of the memory gun and Stan is grieving. they're not in a mental state for a relationship#Stan would hit him with his car by accident and then try to gaslight him that 'no that never happened you're imagining things'#and Fidds would be pretending that Stan is actually Ford or trying to use the memory gun on Stan to make him believe he IS Ford#or. my favorite yet. the one I have as 'canon' in my head. they end up in a messy relationship but Fidds thinks Stan is Ford#and in tge end Stan can't keep pretending and he ends things or something#there's also the more 'happy' versions. where Fidds is still sane enough to help Stan work on the portal. I'll make some fanart of it#at least of Fiddleford tending to his burn wound or something. for now take this little doodle (I thought it was funny but what do I know)#ask#not anon#gravity falls#stanley pines#stan pines#fiddleford mcgucket#fiddleford hadron mcgucket#fiddlestan#young fiddleford#young stan pines#young stanley pines#art#fanart#traditional art#misery yaoi#ignore all that it's late I'm tired I don't know what I'm writing
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While I do think anon was rude, I do think it's pretty shitty to set up all this stuff you were going to add the au and then just drop it. It's disappointing. Definitely unfollowing.
Bye.
#ask me#anon#once AGAIN.#I am not dropping anything#the au is not getting cancelled. more than likely i'm gonna take a break from it until i find motivation again#But I've been drawing the AU for half a fucking year#In that time I've only drawn 5 things that aren't mlp related#I'm getting tired and my last few posts didn't do as well as I'd hoped#And I'm not about to burn myself out on mlp au art even if I really do love making it#I'm still gonna make comics. I have a bunch of ideas.#Tulli and I still wanna do the limited run merch shop#Discord is still coming. Sunset is still coming. Sombra is still coming. I have so many ideas#But I need to do something else for my own sake. Did you know I was supposed to get the background 6 designs done by now#But I didn't because I'm TIRED#I've been keeping myself on a schedule to keep content pumping despite travel and school and family and I'm tired#what i'm getting isn't matching what i'm giving and that's nobody's fault. i'm not frustrated at anyone. a slump was bound to happen#drawing the au was fun until it become my Thing. Because when your Thing––your identity––starts to faulter#it can really make you freak out#And that's not healthy for the project or for myself. I need to find the fun again and I'm sure I will#I'm really appreciative of everyone's support in my inbox and replies it really does mean a lot especially given that about 2/3 of my#followers followed for mlp. But if you're gonna react to me saying “i'm gonna cool down on mlp art and draw my own stuff” with “i'm#disappointed in you." then Leave! I think it's good you're unfollowing#you are not obligated to stick by my side! But don't act like I'm doing you a disservice by turning my attention elsewhere#I didn't promise anyone anything and I definitely didn't say I'm breaking any promises.
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The thing no one ever considers while writing up character analyses about Merlin is that. he must have been sooooooo sleepy.
#I see everyone talking about the nuances when you look at Merlin through [x] lens#BUT WHAT ABOUT THE SLEEPY LENS#WE CAN’T KEEP SLEEPING ON THE SLEEPY LENS#(can u tell I'm exhausted)#see this reads as if I'm joking but I'm actually being SO serious. I think the lack of rest was a significant factor in Merlin's conduct#IF he got a solid 8 hours of sleep + 2 hours minimum JUST to himself everyday uninterrupted... I just know things would turn out different#like it isn't even asking for much. decent sleep + a frankly sad amount of down-time. and yet. I know he didn't get that w those 3 jobs#ugh#he must have been TIRED do you hear me#even applies to morgana she looked tired tbh. those prophetic dreams probably weren't great for restfulness. sad what she did but#she did seem sleepy#okay ignore this I am going through it. extrinsic intrinsic coagulation pathways have gotten to me if u know what I mean#actually wait no if anyone sees this don't ignore it#HE MUST HAVE BEEN SO SLEEPY and everyone must understand. SLEEPy.#I hope I do not wake up and reread this and wonder why I posted this. but like I feel like I am the correctest person on planet earth rn#I've been thinking abt merlin's nap deprived state for years now tbh#merlin#bbc merlin
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Crystal is such a fantastic character bc shes missing her memories and one of the first things she does is try to be mean to Charles, who is just so delighted by her anyway, and when she realizes that she might have been disliked before, she kinda of just starts over.
and she starts off being by being so kind by demanding they help a girl half way around the world, and they oblige. and then! she wipes the girl's memory of the house so she'll never have to suffer the nightmares the way Crystal does.
she's working through some shit, but every time she comes out the other side having tried to be a better person and trying to help her friends and correct mistakes.
and when she finds out who she is? she is horrified by what she sees and wants nothing more than to get away from that. and she still thinks she's a horrible person bc of what she's done and how her parents react to her calling them. she doesn't realize that you're not your past actions, and just bc she was awful then does not mean she has to continue to be that way.
she wants away from charles and edwin and niko bc she doesn't want them to know her like that. even tho they've never known her like that, and they never will, bc Crystal has changed so much as her time as an amnesiac and she is constantly trying to be a better person.
anyway stan Crystal, she wants to be kind, and her journey from being a bitch to being That Bitch is so fantastic, I can't wait to see what she does next
#personal#dead boy detectives#hashtag sorry i keep wanting to analyze everything but i'm on my third rewatch now and i just keep thinking about Them (the beloveds)#like this show is so good and it's really driving me insane#i haven't had a fixation in a minute so i'm just riding this out#crystal palace is so fascinating to me like. she definitely still can be mean but it usually has a purpose#bc she's tired of everyone else being stupid lol#and also being a teenager will do that to you#source: i was a teenager once. that shit was stupid af
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#fancy has made some strides with the babies and will now accept some affection#but she has also Changed and is much less confident and bright#and i noticed today that she has lost weight#so she's going to the vet when we can get her in on a Saturday#and hopefully there's nothing wrong#but if she can't pick up the threads of who she was#i#I don't know if we should keep the babies because it's having such an effect on her#she's never been anxious or nervous#meds help but also make her sleepy#she just isn't as engaged and spends a lot of time in her spots and not roaming#i know they're just rambunctious because they're young and have bad boundaries and maybe it will improve#but im so worried#to take them and then give them up again when they are so sweet and funny#i just#I don't know what to do#and my boyfriend is still really struggling with grief#im so tired#i just want it all to be good again#I want everything to go back to when everyone was healthy#they make me laugh and smile and they are beautiful to look at and I'm so lucky we found them but if they don't fit#we have to make a choice and it absolutely sucks#i hate this year so much
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Why is the TROP fandom so toxic all of the sudden?
(Rant in the tags and spoilers for S2 E7 of TROP)
#there are so many people arguing right now#I'm going to keep this simple but#was the kiss a choice?#yes#do I think it's going to ruin Haladriel content from the show forever?#certainly not#I really don't think we have anything to worry about#I think the show is still going to treat Haladriel with respect but fans of the ship just have to wait a bit for content#the allure of Haladriel to me (as someone who is 50/50 about the pairing) is the slowburn#If they are going to do something romantic with Gal and Hal they want to build up to it and make it great#We're only in S2 and they just met in S1#Let them have time to let those emotions simmer y'know?#And the amount of hate I'm seeing towards the people who didn't mind the kiss whether they saw it platonic or not is CRAZY#For a fandom that spews positivity on liking the show despite its flaws and shipping whatever you want (within reason)#there seems to be a lot of hatred now. Are we turning into what we wanted to avoid in the first place?#It's like you can't be a fan of a pairing other than Haladriel/Saurondriel or people attack you#Not all Haladriel fans are like this I'm just saying I'm seeing a lot of people being a little over-possessive of this particular pairing#The kiss didn't ruin my enjoyment of the show nor do I think it “ruined things forever” for Haladriel#I think everyone should take a breath and calm themselves a bit before we start baring our teeth at each other#I'm not saying you can't be dissapointed that the kiss wasn't a Haladriel kiss#I'm just saying don't be a jerk to other fans because of your disappointment because then you're no better than the TROP haters#rant over lol sorry guys I'm just tired#blue blathers#the rings of power#rings of power#trop#lord of the rings#lotr
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how come I love leading class and reading groups and small groups and lectures and conference papers and book clubs
and I HATE leading Women's Bible Study
#the actual leading is i guess fine although i STRUGGLE to actually lead#because they're all older than me and kind of friends and confident#and entirely unused to being steered and led so they just take off chatting and comforting each other#and mostly want to talk about their lives way more than about the topic#also our discussion guide is quite meh#but even worse I think is the texting all week long#i don't want to be constantly getting texts! noise! distraction! everyone checking in about everything!#and i recognize that it's a beautiful support in many ways and stay at home moms are lonely#but also. i can't do ANYTHING without that text thread popping up#feels like there's absolutely no boundaries#and they all have problems they always want to talk about#and this year not only do i have most of my previous women with problems i also have one with some really major issues#that i haven't dealt with personally and i need a lot of wisdom and care in leading her well#i need to change my tires! i need to be able to read on my phone and not be constantly reminded of the people i'm helping!#the only way i've remained stable this long in life is by keeping problems in separate spaces!#sigh. and with that i will go do yoga and get immersed in a conference paper#and not think about problems#(can you tell the time of women approaches me)
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Time and time again, the internet will claim to want more "unhinged" female characters but the moment a female character does (1) one thing that is slightly immoral or even just a bit questionable, everyone loses their collective minds and they start writing like 100-page dissertations on why she is "bad representation" and how she will "set a negative example"
And it becomes abundantly clear that when some people say they want "unhinged" female characters, what they really mean is they want a totally normal girl who just looks like she shops at hot topic
#a song of ice and fire#specifically#alicent hightower#also any woman with the last name targaryen#house of the dragon#dc comics#harley quinn#idk why some people hate her like they do#god nerd youtubers have some of the worst takes ive ever heard now that I'm thinking about it#people were flipping over ashoka calling her bad and im just baffled#you got the youngling slayer 2000 over here and ashoka is the bad one??#star wars#some star wars fans are going to put me in an early grave istg#everyone else just keeps erasing all more messy bits and im so tired :(#putting this in the tags is like throwing a rock at a glass house but idc im mad#birdy chirps
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highlight reel of Angus Sampson as Cisco Wojciechowski in The Lincoln Lawyer S1E1
#angus sampson#cisco wojciechowski#the lincoln lawyer#silly little self-indulgent video editing project. telling myself i'm learning skills#gonna keep doing this until i get tired of it lmao i need everyone to see my man cisco#i initially said “not exactly stellar” is his review of my video editing skills but that's not true i think he'd be nicer than that
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VARGASTOBER - day 1 : edgar vargas
#vargastober2023#vargastober#THESE ARE LIKE SO RUSHED BUT I REALLY WANTED TO DO SOMETHING .....#the rest of these probably will be small doodles too .... i don't have time for anything else ughhh ugly crying#ALSO i want to thank everyone for the support i got today ! WOAH SO MANY NOTIFICATIONS !!#everyone here is so sweet i love this fandom ...#i'm like actually super excited over this project even though i know i won't have the time to make something pretty and detailed .....#i hate school so much ugh#but for now .... here .... *hands you this drawing* have this .... i hope it's enough .#ohhh he's so dear to me . like . for real .#fun fact i know almost every line of his part on issue 2#i just keep repeating it !! it's fun to say the dialogues out loud !#i went to a party today . oh so tired .#really stressing days ! sighhh .#LET'S JUST PRETEND IT'S STILL OCTOBER 1ST OKAY .#man i should be sleeping . see you tomorrow .#hope i can do at least a small doodle for nny . sighhhh !!#vargas#vargas zarla#edgar vargas#zarla s#doodles#sunny's art
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i hate having four fucking ads on a 20-minute podcast episode.
(it's a rant, enjoy.)
no, i don't want to get your shitting plus subscription, i don't even pay for 95% of the films and shows i watch online. stop fucking begging for patrons, it's not our problem you want to do this full-time. good for you if you do it but it's not somehow our duty to get you there just because you're a creator. not everyone can afford 60 fucking subscriptions. instead of people getting the minimum to at least get by as a basic human right, i bet like 85% of creatives online are making elite clubs on patreon and shit for those who have spare money. i get that you need it, but so many people (especially PDA neurodivergents) are extremely put off by being asked to pay and won't do it (like me) just because of that. i've encountered art that had the option to pay without requiring it, and I did. because they deserved it anyway, and they understood the classism and capitalism ingrained in the internet creative culture and that a lot of people don't have the means to become members of the club. i'm planning on starting a podcast, been wanting to publish fiction in paper since i was a kid, and i still want to make all that 100% free with the option of payment, because i believe that knowledge, stories and art should be accessible to anyone, regardless of financial situation (what do you think libraries are for, hm?????). when it's not, that's when elitism starts to rise and i'm just too tired for that shit. the empty snobbery culture around modern art alone is driving me insane.
Starkid has been recording their performances for years and guess what - they're massive, they sell out, people attend their live plays for the experience, but those who can't are still able to be a part of the fandom (as opposed to broadway musicals that get shared through bootlegs, hm) and they don't expect their fans to be responsible for their means of living. people who want to see a live performance, to buy your book in a bookshop professionally bound and keep it, to thank you for making your day by buying you a coffee will do so of their own free will. don't beg them to pay for your groceries if you made the choice to put your art out there. it's the system that is responsible for taking care of your basic needs, not your fans.
#shoutout to#the amelia project#because the ads in there drove me to this rant.#dear philip thorne. please do kindly shut up#can you leave all your begging to the end so i can skip it#i know i'm gonna offend someone by this post and to be clear: i'm not sorry.#the far-right is built on the mindset of individualism which means everyone is on their own and weak if they need help#while still requiring everyone to keep up with the insane standards.#far-left IS NOT GOOD EITHER TO BE CLEAR#WE NEED A BALANCE#but making us pay for each other's living costs is a distraction from#those who barely notice the difference of losing 2000 bucks#we should be able to go to work and make art without stressing over barely paying for rent and how much the month's food costs#not because we need to fight to survive but because we love being alive.#AND I'M CZECH. it's so much better here in comparison to so many countries.#so that's it i'm tired bye
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save me stu.dio inve/stigrave studio inve sti grave save me
#↳🔪₊˚. 《 ooc 》#i'm so tired but at least i have gay horror boys to keep me going#casi and i finally played the new investigrave game on friday#as always it was lovely but it really did just . . .#reawaken our love for the other games so#wheezes and sobs in dead plate and elevator hitch#i love seeing pathetic men put into situations :)#it's always a delight 10000/10 would recommend#anyway i hope everyone who sees this (YOU!!!) is doing well#take care and i'm personally ordering you to get yourself a treat :) it's a (loving) threat <3
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big "what's the point" energy lately.
#gp#you know you're high functioning when you can keep going even though all you want to do is nap for days and days lol#I distract myself so well and yet#I would like to lay face down in the ocean and let it rock me away lol#in a non kms kind of way lmao#I'm fine just really really really REALLY tired#of everything and everyone at the same time#tbd
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Korean school violence dramas are always like:
see this poor girl? she's been beaten everyday and dragged across the classroom floor because her mother sells fish. Look at her, she can't afford a new uniform because the rich bullies have torn hers and now she's coming to school in sportswear. Her family is about to be thrown out and she's just watched her older sister sleep with a loan shark to keep the family's debt at bay. She can't read, can't eat, can't think because she's poor and the bullies are ruthless.
HOWEVER...
being rich isn't fun because... when the rich bully goes home, he has to sit at the huge, beautiful dining table and eat alone because his father is too busy to eat with him. uwu.
#what do you mean -being rich isn't always fun?#you literally always have only problem#but you go out into the world and cause problems for EVERYONE ELSE!#i'm getting tired of this narratives that keep trying to give people sab stories and yet these same characters turn around#enact hell for others#bitch x rich#the glory#king of pigs#weak hero class#revenge of others#can't think of any other bully dramas#i am so fed up with this trope#evil people are evil#stop with the sad stories#it never works when what they're going through isn't half of the shit they put others through
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